I sat in our dark bedroom, the computer screen glaring with a harsh, white light. A banner flashed before my eyes: “Seek wisdom by understanding yourself.”
“Chloe, check this out,” I called over my shoulder to my girlfriend playing The Sims on her laptop.
She glanced up, her brow furrowing in confusion before giving me a bemused look. “What the hell are you looking at?” she asked.
“It’s some cult,” I replied, unable to hide my fascination. “I fell down a rabbit hole and found this local place downtown. It's a derivative of Aleister Crowley and Golden Dawn bullshit.” I pointed to the Google Street View image of a dilapidated storefront in an ethnic shopping center.
She smirked, a hint of amusement in her eyes. “I never pegged you as the religious type.”
“Check this out,” I continued, clicking through the site. “They have some photos.”
We spent some time going through the albums celebrating various solstices. Most were taken in an odd room with black and white checkered floors, adorned with Egyptian pseudo-artifacts, bathed in the glow of red and purple lights that transformed the scene into a surreal dreamscape.
The people certainly had an alternative vibe. Tattoos were plentiful, but other than that they looked like they came from all different walks of life. Many of them looked like they had their fair share of bullying in high school - no shortage of that. But most of them looked relatively normal aside from the occasional piercing.
One photograph in particular caught my eye. A woman, sitting in a bright red room, sat on an altar, holding a staff in her right hand, wearing nothing. A man was kneeled before her, his arms tied behind him, rope anchored to the ceiling. They were sliding a knife down his back, a small trickle of blood dripping to the floor.
“Damn,” Chloe started. “She’s butt-ass naked.”
“You wanna go?” I asked. “They’re having a get together tonight.”
“You know what, fuck it. Why not? It’s not like we’re doing anything.” she replied.
“Good,” I smiled, standing up. “Because I already ordered an Uber.”
She sighed before opening a drawer and pulling out a small pipe. “I’ll go, but i'm not going sober.”
It was a cold, shitty Seattle winter night. We got dropped off in the parking lot and spent a few minutes looking for the storefront. We finally found it next to a dog groomer and Pho restaurant with some pun for the name I can’t seem to remember.
We entered the shop, which consisted of two narrow isles separated by wood shelves barely big enough for me to fit down. We spent some time looking at the various items, my attention diverting to a vial of elk blood. I remember wondering if they were even allowed to sell this without some type of medical certification they definitely did not have while Chloe shuffled through a bowl of mix and match crystals.
“Can I help you?” I heard a woman say from the back as she emerged from a beaded curtain. She was a short, overweight woman wearing what I could only describe as a sports bra and hula skirt.
“Hi, uh,” I stuttered. “I’m George and this is Chloe. We’re here for the… winter solstice celebration?”
“Oh, goodie! Newcomers!” she said with an out of place, overjoyed expression as she clapped her hands. Chloe and I laughed nervously.
“The door is in the back, but you can come through here just this time.” she said with a smile, arm holding the beaded curtain open.
We walked through a dark hallway, somehow more cramped than the shop, into a rather large room. A gaggle of people were huddled in the back, which Chloe and I quietly shuffled into.
A bearded man paraded around the room, white robes and red headdress cascading into a cloak, knuckles adorned with several large rings gripping a spear, held vertically in front of him. Behind him, another bald man, white robes and yellow cloak, followed behind, white sleeves crossed over his chest.
I glanced at Chloe’s bloodshot eyes, THC clearly flowing through her system. I gave her a knowing look, as if to say Having fun yet? She returned a slow smile.
Without warning, the entire crowd clapped their hands together over their heads as a woman in blue robes walked past, waving a censure leaking white smoke. We awkwardly followed to match the group.
The blue curtains on the back wall opened to reveal an older Asian woman sitting perched on the altar I saw in the photos, again, completely naked. And before you ask, no. She wasn’t attractive. It’s never the ones you hope it is. The red robed man kneeled down and softly kissed her knees.
I glanced back at Chloe. Her smile was so big I was afraid she was going to laugh at any moment. I pinched her on the side and whispered into her ear “Do. Not. Fucking. Laugh”. Honestly, I think I just made it worse. Her face turned beet red as she bit her cheeks.
The ritual went on for another half hour or so. They must’ve said “Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law” at least a dozen times.
We were getting kind of bored and were ready to leave before the woman in the blue robes wandered in with a caged chicken.
"No fucking way" I thought. Surely enough, the man in the yellow robes held the chicken high in the air, before slitting its throat and draining blood into a large metallic basin. The man winced as the chicken flailed violently, scratching up his arms, before eventually succumbing to blood loss.
One by one, each person there stood between a white and black pillar saying love and intention in Greek before eating a piece of something, taking a sip of blood, and saying “There is no part of me that is not of the Gods.”
Chloe and I hung back, and politely declined when our turn came. Once all was said and done, they busted out some alcohol and started celebrating. We slipped out into the street, bursting out laughing. After we finally collected ourselves, Chloe whipped out her phone and showed me she took dozens of pictures of the ritual.
We laughed our asses off the entire way home. First thing she did was open her laptop and post the pictures on Twitter, tagging the lodge with the caption “me and the boys chilling right now”.
We returned to the usual rhythm of our lives. I went to work, conducting meetings and answering emails, while Chloe went back to her classes. A few days later, Chloe checked her Twitter and saw that she had gained a few thousand likes. The whole ordeal became a running joke between us.
I would eat fruit snacks and sip on my soda, saying, “There is no part of me that is not of the Gods”. A few weeks later, we had mostly forgotten about it, except for the occasional recounting as a funny story to regale our friends.
One night while Chloe and I were spending our evening the usual way with me on the computer and her on her laptop, I felt her furiously tap my shoulder while staring wide eyed at the window. Confused, I took my headphones off and walked over, pulling back the curtain to reveal 6 people standing in black robes and animal masks watching us from the hillside.
“What do we do, should I call the cops?” Chloe whimpered.
“No, they’re just a bunch of larpers. They’re not going to do shit! Just trying to scare us.” I said angrily as I closed the blinds and hopped back on my computer.
Chloe sat there for a few minutes in a tense pose with her arms folded together. She went to double check the door was locked, before we continued our night as normal.
The next day I got a text from Chloe frantically telling me to come home immediately. When I arrived, there was a squad car parked outside our building. I ran up the stairs to see two officers standing by Chloe in the doorway. I nearly shouted asking what was going on. They lead me inside to show me a massive black symbol drawn on our wall, a six-pointed star made from one continuous line.
We finished our police report and they told us they’d get back to us if they find anything. I’ve been robbed often enough to know that means they’re going to forget about this before they’ve even gotten back into their squad car.
Furious, I stormed over to the shop and banged on the window. The hula skirt woman came over and cracked the door open just enough for me to see one of her eyes.
“What the fuck do you think your little posse is doing!?” I screamed at her. “Breaking into my apartment like that!? You all are fucking psychos!”
“I haven’t any idea what you’re talking about”, she said with a sly grin.
“Oh, yeah?” I said pointing a finger in her face. “If anyone tries any shit like that again I’m going to burn your goddamn shop to the ground, do you hear me?”
She looked at the ground, clearly nervous. I have never blown up at a stranger like this but I could tell my threats were working.
After a moment of silence I stormed off again, back towards home.
“You meddle with forces you do not understand!” she called out from the shop.
I picked up a glass bottle from the sidewalk and chucked it, smashing against her shop window, forcing her to close the door and disappear into the shadows. I’m not particularly proud of how I behaved in this moment, but unless you’ve had someone break into your home and draw shit on the walls, hold on to your judgment.
The next few days passed without so much as a peep from them. Chloe and I began to relax, convincing ourselves that the cult had been scared off. Life seemed to be returning to normal, and the unsettling incident became just another story.

This is a crossover fanfiction between original fiction titles: Nature of Predators by SpacePaladin15 and The Last Angel by Proximal Flame respectively. All credit and rights reserved goes to them for making such amazing science fiction settings that I wanted to put this together.
You can read The Last Angel here: Be warned, it's decently long, and at its third installment so far. I highly suggest reading it before reading this, or this story will not make sense.

Otherwise, enjoy the story! Thanks again to u/jesterra54 and u/skais01 for beta and checking of work!
First Prev Next (soon)
Memory transcription subject: Captain Sovlin, Federation Fleet Command
Date [standardized human time]: October 24, 2136
What I was doing was risky.
I kept thinking this, as I prepared to spring the idea I worked on. I had Samantha and Carlos look into acquiring a shuttlecraft, for the purposes of infiltrating Aafa. It took a day and a half longer than the UN's initial start date, but I promised them it was worth it. They believed that, and set to work on getting one through their few Venlil resources in the UN. Now that it was in my hands, I was on a trip to Aafa, alone, with no backup or human handlers to my name. They believed I wasn't a flight risk...a mistake on their part, but in a way, I was still performing their goal.
I was still suspicious of Federation governance, even before the humans took stage on the galactic scene. The Sivkit's refugee crisis turnaway, the Krakotl's military extortionate practice, the Federation was full of shady characters who ought to be exposed. I was even working on a source towards what I thought was frivolous and mismanaged Kolshian military spending budgets, but it was interrupted by the human's arrival, and I had set it to the wayside.
Though, neither of those were supposedly leaked by 'me'. Cilany was the one who put it into proper public eye, even if I was her source...
How I wish I could have her here with me, her sharp skill for coercion and interrogation of valuable info in interrogation and interview alike. But the colony she was on was under siege by the Arxur, who struck while the Federation fleet had gone to Earth. All the more fuel for the fire of my suspicions...
I could only hope that Cilany, and by extension the rest of the people there would hold out despite their actions against the humans. None deserved the Arxur thrust upon them.
It would have been far too risky to try and stop by a planet under siege by the Arxur. I would be, at best, blown to smithereens without hesitation, and at worst...eugh...don't think about it, don't think about it!
Plus, I didn't want to give any human assets an idea on my plans currently. I was already going behind their back on this, betraying their trust on this front.
If my hunch is correct, then the Arxur might be coordinating with them, and by extension, feeding info about Federation homeworlds back in their twisted little game. Seeing me pop up in a report would turn heads.
I'm sorry Humanity, but this is for your own good. You cannot trust the Arxur, and the only way we can prevent your manipulation by their Dominion is through convincing a proper attack on them from the Greater Commonwealth.
But now, I found myself on a course to Aafa, alone, all on my lonesome, seeking to do something akin to Noah, but to the most powerful person in the galaxy one-on-one...Nikonus. I felt my ability to pull rank and my reputation would precede me better than the predatory reception of humanity, even though they didn't deserve it. This was a pragmatic decision, not an emotional one…
The trip was not very eventful, roughly [6 days] one way in a ship with as underpowered of a FTL drive as this, but I was trying to sell an infiltration mission, not a courier one. I wouldn't have my claws on anything top-of-the-line for speed in a shuttle. But as my ship hit disruptor fields in-system, and I got a ping from Gunships asking for classic hailing codes, intent to visit, and the like, I sent a message that likely would have shocked their crew.
"This is Captain Sovlin of Federation Fleet Command. I have escaped human custody, and need to request an audience with Nikonus."
WARNING: Formatting of memory transcription non-standard, conversion may cause loss of data. Do you wish to continue?
[Yes]
Memory transcription subject: Chief Nikonus of the Kolshian Commonwealth
Date [standardized human time]: October 24, 2136
I walked the outer rungs of the capital gardens, looking for relief to the mounds of bureaucratic paperwork back in-office. A good walk could clear ones mind of most stresses every now and then, and given the circumstances nowadays, I think a longer one is in order.
The Affliaf blooms are quite vibrant today. That's a good omen, for what it's worth...
With the state of the galaxy in a comprehensive deadlock over what to do with humanity, I had to take to some under-the-table talks with Nishtal's military. While the Kolshian Commonwealth was not publically for humanity's invitation into the Federation, they were clearly vocal that they did not wish for the problem to be removed, so to speak. And so, I had to get my tentacles dirty planting seeds of inspiration to some military leaders in and around the Krakotl Alliance. They, thankfully took the predator threat as seriously as they ought to, and mobilized to rid ourselves of the pests.
It should have simply ended there. Humanity should have been exterminated, status quo restored, the whole cropland tilled. But no, a fleet of twenty-thousand failed to even kill a fledgling space-faring species like humanity! Even with the Venlil Space Corps on their side, the battle should have been a wash! And the worst part, was that the true believers on Venlil Prime were giving me garbage intelligence on the matter.
'A ship of unknown origin swooped in and saved humanity? One that was unheard of up to this point'? No, a wad of ectolan spulk, there was no chance it was humanity keeping something in reserve that could even the tide! They likely were feeding false data to their allies, the manipulative little apes. No, humanity being saved stunk of the Dominion's play, and that was worrisome.
Did Giznel and his lackeys go back on our deal, seeing blood in the water? I knew we groomed a deal out of Betterment that'd give them all the wrong ideas...
Needless to say, I had to now figure out where to start on approaching them and confirming our deal was still on the table, and to cease and desist assistance with humanity at once. If they didn't want to play ball anymore, we'd have to consider some Shadow Fleet excursions to pave a path for a public route to invasion. That would change the whole dynamic of the Federation's control structures, and was absolutely not the path this great galactic Commonwealth should go.
So now, I am stuck in a dilemma. Do I assume Giznel and the Dominion are still in on the deal, and haven't made allies with humanity in the backdrop, or do I take the only opportunity we get, and start mounting an offensive while the Dominion's unprepared.
Decisions, decisions...
Not long into my musings, an aide contacted me over holo-prompt. Odd, I didn't have anything scheduled this soon, and central planning proceedings weren't set to start up again until the following day, what was it?...
"Chief Nikonus. There's been a development on the outer edge of the system. Bulwark Patrol states that a shuttlecraft of Venlil-make warped in, one individual alone on scans. They identified itself as Captain Sovlin, seeking refuge from human captivity."
Oh dear. That's not anything I could have expected. The last thing I need right now is more complications...but that wording...
"Why hasn't he been boarded and processed yet? I am hardly the first authority to come to for a asylum dispute."
"He asked for you specifically, your graciousness. Said to request an audience with utmost urgency."
"Is that so?...Hmm." I am currently free of responsibilities for a solid chunk of time. While I did not know Sovlin personally, his record spoke for himself. If he truly was escaping human custody, it was likely he found something out about them that they shared by accident, not knowing he wasn't loyal to them.
If he's come here for the reason I think he might've, there's a very real chance...
"Send him my way as soon as possible then. He's lucky I can spare an audience now."
...that said opportunity has just walked itself right into my garden.
Memory transcription subject: Captain Sovlin, Federation Fleet Command
Date [standardized human time]: October 24, 2136
There was thankfully little fanfare or media attention in bringing my shuttle in. The decision to come alone clearly disarmed their initial worries of human sympathizing or terrorist actions, and soon enough, I found myself amongst an escort of soldiers to Aslou's government district.
I had been to Aafa various times throughout my life. In my tenure as captain, you tend to visit the homeworlds of the larger species at least once in a lifetime, if not several. Most times were not very exciting or noteworthy...but this time, the visit felt downright off.
The gardens were as beautiful as ever, but there were little walking them. The Songbedas were oddly quiet, making an unsettling atmosphere. The population out in the outer and medial rungs of the city split to make way for my escort, as if expecting trouble on their doorstep should they draw attention.
Given what happened with humanity, I wouldn't put it past them. Why is it so...empty?
It was forced to be pushed aside as we finally reached the inner rings of the Capitol Spire. A gleam ran up into the heavens, and a sequence of block outcroppings spun around the structure, green architecture patterns spiraled up and up. It was a beautiful idol of the dedication of megalithic engineering and urban planning of the Kolshian Commonwealth. Under any other circumstances, I would have once felt comfortable walking under its shadow, but now I felt only unease at being in its monolithic shade.
Across from us, not far up the steps leading to the Capitol Spire, was Nikonus and his guards. They were clearly waiting for me. Nikonus looked pleased to see me, somehow. Was there no clear indicator...?
Does he trust my cover?
"Captain Sovlin, your reputation precedes you! I could have sworn you were interred so deep you weren't getting out. Yet, you say you broke out?"
Here goes nothing. Make it believable, Sovlin...
"I...yes, your graciousness. After I was imprisoned on Venlil Prime, the humans kept trying to get me to turn on the Federation. They were convincing, but my loyalties ultimately lie in this government, Chief Nikonus." I put my chest into the last bit of the statement, trying to give emphasis.
He seemed to mull on that for a split second, before he made a gesture to follow him. "We may talk more about your escape inside. I assume what you have meant to say to me is not for public ears?" He glanced about, subtly tilting his head out at the few gathered crowds out and about Aslou's Capitol District. Given how open and flat the area was, with the slightest elevation, you could practically see for [kilometers].
He was right on that. My suspicions would not be for the general public to hear, lest it cause a panic. "Yes. It would not do for the media to run wild with. It could cause unrest."
The Kolshian's eyes seemed to glint at that. "On that, you and I can agree. Come, to my offices." Him and his troop started up the stairs, and I followed soon after, my 'escorts' following closely behind. I could not yet tell whether I was actually in good trust with Chief Nikonus, or whether he was playing up the kindly elder act. Politicians were always shifty like that...
We walked a long way, took several lifts to reach the original Kolshian suites of the Capitol Spire. Passing through halls of elaborate aquatic decor, and indoor habitats, we approached our destination: Chief Nikonus' personal office.
He waved away all but two guards to stand outside the office, as we walked in. As he sat down, and the door closed, the visual look of the Kolshian shifted. His old, elderly demeanor sharpened to a politics-honed edge. The tone of the room felt far more off.
"I hope you know how much your position here is troubling, Sovlin." His voice had none of the kindness it held before. In its place, laid a piercing tone of seriousness. "If I'm anticipating right, you came here with distinctly bad news, given the state of galactic politics and military scuffles. That is...if I can even trust your story at all." He got up from his chair in a way that betrayed none of his age from before, and began to pace.
Or was his earlier light hobbling also just a disarming act?
"I mean really, you mean to tell me you turned yourself in to humanity for 'crimes against sentience', and then go back on your self-inflicted punishment? All so you could come to Aafa to let me know of something I'm already decently certain I know of before you even tell me? Your loyalty in question is a mind game Sovlin. I do not appreciate mind games. You'd best get to your point quickly and succinctly."
There was a chilling quality to that statement. I did not want to see what lied on the end of that thinly veiled threat.
A hitch came to my throat, but I pushed through the discomfort. "I...Chief Nikonus...I do not revoke my feelings about humanity's sentience, but neither do I revoke my faith in the Federation's dream. Despite their predator biology, they are capable of empathy and care for things outside what we'd consider stereotypical predatory behavior. They still deserve a chance at being within the galactic community, of being part of the Federation; no matter what preconceptions are of predators, they are clearly different. But, there's something we distinctly missed about humanity, and I think the Arxur are making an attempt to exploit it."
WARNING: Formatting of memory transcription non-standard, conversion may cause loss of data. Do you wish to continue?
[Yes]
Memory transcription subject: Chief Nikonus of the Kolshian Commonwealth
Date [standardized human time]: October 24, 2136
"You've seen the empathy tests, right?" Sovlin mentioned. Of course I had, it was only the thing that had kept me from having their ambassador Noah shot on the spot, where was he going with this?
"Yes, I have. Are you saying there isn't empathy for them?"
"No, Chief Nikonus. They are just as empathic as before. The problem is in how they use it. If a protective instincts in herbivore's is to block the danger from the person, then a predator's instincts is to remove the danger."
Huh?
"I'm not seeing the problem here, Sovlin. Aggression versus protection is a choice all sentients can make, even if one is uncouth for most herbivores to make."
But my rebuttal didn't shake his look any. No, there was mortification interwoven throughout it still.
"Follow with me here, still. The human's empathic desires to latch onto anything as a companion is an odd case, but a documented one. They are looking for friends among the cosmos, and given the first thing they found was the Venlil, they took to them immediately. When they found the Federation, they too attempted to befriend us. And over the Cradle, despite our best efforts to dissuade them, they were curious of the Arxur too. I would know, I was there."
Hmm, so the humans have been making some attempt at contacting The Dominion. Given their Prophet's Word, and their temperament for predators, they likely would act receptive if given some chance. More fuel to the fire...
I motioned him on further. "They...interrogated a Arxur above the cradle. They told them of how Federation first contact went; how the Arxur were starved by the Federation releasing a bioweapon, and how it lead them into conflict during the uplift."
I walked over to my desk, and sat down. My tentacle hovered over a concealed sidearm underneath the lip, just in case. "And...did you believe what that Arxur said was true, Sovlin?..."
Sovlin sighed in denial. "No, your graciousness...but I'm afraid...the humans do." He shifted uncomfortably in his seat as he talked. "The Arxur have picked up on a weakness we didn't see, Chief Nikonus. Likely due to them being predators themselves. They know humanity is a pack predator, so they're seeking to manipulate the humans onto their side using their empathy."
I brought my tentacles away from the gun while I considered, because this was only meaning one thing.
Those bastards ARE going back on the deal! Sovlin, your loyalty has just saved me a world of hurt...
But before I could get a word in edgewise, he continued. "They are using the empathy the humans latch on with to some effect. Given the choice between a galaxy that shuns and tries to kill their species, and a fellow predator lending a claw in the interim, why would they pick anything but the Arxur? Why wouldn't they pick self-preservation?"
Sovlin looked at me with a worried face. I shared in the worry too, the long-term survival of the Federation was unraveling from the worst case scenario. "The humans might be coaxed into cruelty as bad as the Arxur because of that. We missed how their empathy was their bloodlust. And now the Arxur are here to collect on our mistakes."
This is bad. While we had some agreement beforehand with the Dominion, the human's existence on the galactic stage changes the game. The Dominion would look to seek true control of everything, rather than just playing even with us. The [Prisoner's Dilemma] is broken.
...But there is still a solution. And Sovlin proved himself loyal enough to help with it.
I turned back to him, trying to assuage his worries. "Sovlin, while this is very bad news, there is a solution that the galaxy isn't considering here."
Sovlin piped up. "Yes. We'd need to form an intense first strike on Wriss itself, to devastate the head of their government, and collapse their attempts to indoctrinate humanity. Humanity might protest, but it would be for their own good that the Arxur fails to get their claws on them. From there, we can try to reestablish friendly connections, even as strained and painful as they are..."
Oh, you poor naive fool Sovlin. Don't worry, there is a better way.
I enabled a soundproofing field interladen in the walls of my office, for what came next was sensitive. "Not...quite Captain Sovlin, a good plan, and one that will be considered soon. But...what if I told you, there was a way to remove that fellow predator’ link?..."
First Prev Next (soon)

A little over a year ago, I decided I wanted to read Guy Gavriel Kay for the first time. I don’t know why I knew it was the right time, I just did. I had been aware of Kay’s work basically since I began reading Fantasy, probably at least a dozen years ago now, and I had always planned to read him eventually.
For some reason, however, it just felt like it was time. I’m so glad I did.
So, after reading all fifteen novels (in publication order) over about 13 months, here are my spoiler-free (some small spoilers will be covered) thoughts on each one. If you are a GGK fan, I would love to hear your thoughts and favorites as well.
And if you’ve never read him before, I hope you will take the leap!

• The Fionavar Tapestry (1984-1986): The first thing to know about these three novels (The Summer Tree, The Wandering Fire, and The Darkest Road) is that they are not very representative of the rest of Kay’s work, which is mostly Historical Fantasy. Fionavar, however, is 100% High Portal Fantasy. It tells the story of five Canadian graduate students who are transported into a fantasy world and tasked with saving it. Many readers like to compare the series to Tolkien (largely because a young GGK famously interned with Christopher Tolkien) but I disagree. It is much more 'Narnia meets A Song of Ice and Fire'. Beautifully written, but also containing quite a lot of adult content, politics, and a heavy dose of mythology. I enjoyed it quite a bit, but if you don’t like it that does not mean you won’t like other Kay books.
• Tigana (1990): Perhaps Kay’s most famous and well-regarded novel, and also the first time he began tinkering with his now well-known style of writing a history-adjacent story. Tigana is set in a place very reminiscent of medieval Italy, where two sorcerers are battling over both the land and the hearts of the people who live there. While the writing is a step up from Fionavar, I did find it a touch over-dramatic at times, with characters that are not all as fleshed out as I would like. Where the book excels, however, is in its themes - Memory, Loss, Colonialism vs Patriotism, and more. It's fascinating and well worth your time.
• A Song for Arbonne (1992): Shifting from Kay’s most well-known novel, we now have probably his most underrated and under-discussed. A Song for Arbonne is set in a fictional version of Provence, France during the high Middle Ages and follows a feud between two dukes and two very different ways of life. This is a beautifully feminist novel (especially for 1992) and also made me love troubadours, which is not something I ever thought I would say. Highly recommended, especially in audiobook.
• The Lions of Al-Rassan (1995): My favorite Kay novel, and one I will unabashedly gush about for the rest of my life. Set in a fictional version of Spain during the Crusades, we follow three characters – a Kindath (Jewish) woman doctor, a Jaddite (Christian) military leader, and an Asharite (Muslim) Poet/Diplomat. These three very different people from very different backgrounds are thrust together amid absolute turmoil and form a bond that defies and transcends cultures. It absolutely broke my heart when I read it, but somehow also made me as hopeful as any book I had ever read before. This book is perfect. Read it.
• The Sarantine Mosaic (1998-2000): This two-part story is set in the same world as The Lions of Al-Rassan, but many centuries earlier and hundreds of miles to the east. We follow a young mosaicist named Crispin who is unexpectedly pulled from his obscure country life and tasked with traveling to Sarantium, the greatest city on Earth, to build a new cathedral for the Emperor. Along the way, he meets many incredible side characters and witnesses the empire experience huge amounts of change. This is another favorite, and is far and away Kay’s most epic story. If you like Gladiator or Spartacus, you’ll love this. Plus it has chariot races!
• The Last Light of the Sun (2004): A Viking novel set in the same world as the last two. Shares many of the same themes and ideas of the previous novels as well – people from different cultures coming face to face with modernity and changing times. It’s a very good novel, especially if you enjoy Vikings, but a step down for me.
• Ysabel (2007): Probably far and away Kay's most unique book. It’s a modern, YA novel set in Provence. We follow a young teenage Canadian boy who goes on a work trip with his photographer father and gets swept up into a mystery involving some of the artifacts and other historical sites there. This book is also loosely connected to Fionavar. I enjoyed this one more than I thought I would, but it was still a bizarre experience compared to literally everything else Kay has written.
• Under Heaven (2010): Kay now turned his sights to ancient Chinese history, specifically 8th Century Tang Dynasty. Like his other stuff, though, this is not actually historical fiction - it's set in another world with different names, etc. The son of a renowned general is given 250 prized horses as a gift for his work burying the dead from both sides of a large battle. This outlandish gift forces the young man to become embroiled in the politics of the empire and allows him to witness a startling change to his people's way of life. Lots of people LOVE this book - many even list it as their favorite of Kay's. It did not resonate with me the same way. It's very good! But not my favorite.
• River of Stars (2012): A pseudo-sequel to Under Heaven, set about 500 years later in an era largely defined by the events of that previous novel. Whereas in Under Heaven Kitai (Kay's version of China) was an up-and-coming military power, in River of Stars it has become a wealthy, arrogant cultural hub that is seemingly unaware of its instability. We follow quite a few different characters from multiple backgrounds in this one and, like so many Kay stories, get to see large events take place through the eyes of these 'small' characters. I imagine that whatever your feelings were/are for Under Heaven, you will feel mostly the same about River of Stars.
• Children of Earth and Sky (2016): Kay returned to his 'Jaddite' world for the first time since 2004 for this novel, and (for this reader at least), it was a joy! It takes place about 1,000 years after the Sarantine Mosaic, in a world where the great city of Sarantium has fallen to the Asharites and the surrounding world is trying to pick up the pieces. It's a time of a lot of upheaval and turmoil. This novel follows quite a few very diverse POV characters, which (while sometimes confusing) gives it an 'epic' feel. We have artists, traders, military leaders, sea captains, pirates, and more. While I would not necessarily suggest this as your first GGK novel, if you are a fan of the Sarantine Mosaic (and to a lesser extent, The Lions of Al-Rassan), you will find MUCH to love here.
• A Brightness Long Ago (2019): Taking place about 25 years before the events of Children of Earth and Sky, A Brightness Long Ago perfects Kay's most notable theme: The effect that small, 'unimportant' people can have on huge, global events. We follow a young man named Guidanio, the son of a common tailor, who is swept up into a local feud between two legendary mercenary captains. In the process, he falls in love, faces unspeakable tragedy, and eventually witnesses the fall of the greatest city on earth. What sets this book apart from other Kay novels is that it is mostly told in 1st Person POV by a much older Guidanio in the form of his life story. It is one of Kay's most intimate and best-paced books, and although I still don't think it matches his peak, A Brightness Long Ago is certainly his best novel of the 20th Century and proof that he is still a master of his craft. Highly recommended!
• All the Seas of the World (2022): Kay's most recent novel is both a sequel to A Brightness Long Ago, and a prequel to Children of Earth and Sky. As such, I will not go into a ton of detail but suffice it to say that if you enjoyed those two novels you will love this one. It's a separate story, but there is enough overlap and easter eggs to keep your attention. While I would not rate it higher than A Brightness Long Ago, it was once again a great read and certainly worth your time.

So there we have it! Fifteen novels in just over a year. I'm not sure binging his work is the best way to enjoy Kay, but I still had a great time and plan to reread many (if not all) of these books again someday.
Guy Gavriel Kay is a master, and his work should be cherished. I'm a fan for life!

[Part 1]
Day 3
I woke the next morning from the sunshine in my eyes. My head was resting ever so slightly on Eli's arm as we had both fallen asleep on my bed after I begged him to stay. I blanched in horror at the drool stain I had left on the arm of his white t-shirt.
I began to slowly move myself and retreat downstairs as the memories of the night before came flooding back. How I had broken, screaming in terror, and how Eli had saved me, not knowing the true reason he found me curled up on the floor crying.
As I stepped off the bed, my leg got snagged in the frilly bed cover, and I went crashing to the ground, making quite the noise as I landed. With a yawn, Eli's eyes opened, and I felt myself blushing as he turned to look at me.
We both kind of stared at each other for a moment, not speaking. Eli opened his mouth, then closed it again as if unsure of what to say.
"Coffee?" I asked quickly, filling the awkwardness of our situation.
"Please," Eli said, smiling.
In minutes, I had a pot brewing as I leaned against the kitchen counter. Eli was picking up the scattered photographs from the floor and looking at them quizzically.
"Why do you have pictures of the Harmons?" Eli asked, showing me the photos of the yellow-haired man and his family.
"Is that their names? I found them out in the barn under a blanket," I answered as I rooted around the cupboards for two mugs.
"In the barn? I cleaned it out just last week. No way I would have missed this trunk," Eli said while examining the wooden trunk with its simple rustic hinges. It was plain and unadorned with any embellishments. Basic as basic could be.
"Well, you must have missed it because it was there," I said, putting emphasis on the "was" in a way that reminded me of my mother chastising my father.
"That's so weird," he said, shifting through the photos while sitting at the table. I brought him a cup of coffee and sugar, and he began absentmindedly adding a lot of sugar to his coffee. About six scoops later, he began stirring and sipping it.
"Well, anyways, thanks for coming last night. I wasn't myself, I hope you know that I'm not some damsel in distress," I said quickly, like word vomit, and I even chuckled at the end, feeling like a total weirdo.
"What happened anyway? You didn't say last night," he said, putting the photos down in a jumble on the table.
I paused for a moment, considering how to answer. As I sipped my coffee, I stared out into the yard beside the barn where the scarecrow stood, glancing around the edge of the barn, hanging limply in his hole. His appearance once again sad and dejected instead of murderous and terrifying.
"I was just scared, I had a nightmare, and it just scared me," I said dumbly, trying not to turn crimson again under his intense gaze.
His eyes seemed to cut right through my lie, as if he were staring directly into my being before he simply glanced away out the window. We fell silent again, and I filled some moments by sipping my drink. It seemed to revitalize me; the sun and the company made me feel secure.
"Why were you here anyways?" I asked after a moment.
"I heard screaming, so I came running. I live just on the other side of the grass there, behind the barn," Eli said, pointing to the barn out the window.
"Must be really close, I didn't see any houses on the way in," I said, prying deeper into the situation.
"It's actually a trailer, maybe like two hundred yards from here. I was outside getting some air when I heard you scream. So, I came running," Eli said, finishing his cup of coffee and placing it in between us like a barrier, as if he was hiding something.
"Could you, uh, not do that?" Eli asked, with an uncertain grin on his face.
"What am I doing exactly?" I asked, startled for a moment, my stomach doing a sort of flip.
"It's just that you like stare at people. You've been staring at me for like my whole cup of coffee, I don't think you blinked the whole time," Eli said, averting his eyes shyly.
"No, I don't," I said until I realized he was right. I never noticed that about myself.
"Right, well, I've got to go. I am probably going to start painting today, so you might see me in a bit," Eli said, rising and heading to the door.
"Wait," I said, grabbing his arm for only a moment before releasing it like it was scalding hot.
Eli glanced at my hand for a moment, then at his arm, before he, too, blushed crimson.
"I just wanted to say thank you again. For last night, I mean. Well, what I mean is I appreciate it," I said, my eyes downcast in, for some reason, shame. Like he had seen me at my weakest and it weighed on my gaze appropriately.
"It was nothing, besides I didn't get much sleep with your constant snoring," Eli said, laughing at me.
"I so don't snore," I said, swatting at him but unable to control a smile creeping up onto my face.
After Eli left, I felt instantly colder, my eyes kept returning to the scarecrow. I grabbed my camera from upstairs and went out to the yard. I scanned the dirt for anything out of the ordinary. There was no blood, or anything on the dirt where the scarecrow stood just last night. I slowly made my way to the scarecrow, but nothing happened. I snapped a photo of the inanimate object, and it didn't even flinch. I poked it, but all I felt was straw underneath its clothes. I removed its mask, expecting a severed head, but it was just straw. Nothing was here but straw. I dropped the mask on the ground and took another photo proving it was just straw and nothing else.
An idea struck me as I regarded the source of my torment. If I planned to stay even one more night here, I needed to do something about this scarecrow. I rooted around in the barn, a series of tools hung from nails in the wall. On one hung what I was searching for. An old rusted shovel with a dirty wooden handle that was worn smooth from use.
I returned to the side of the barn beside the scarecrow, knowing for whatever reason this thing only came when night fell and didn't react at all when I moved or touched it during the day.
Before my morning coffee had even settled, I began to dig at the dusty earth, loose and easy to dig, it came away in shovelfuls. Within an hour, I had a fair-sized hole in front of me. Sweat dripped from my brow, and when I wiped under my eyes, they came away black from last night's makeup. Glancing at the field of grass and knowing Eli could appear at any time, I decided to head inside and shower. The hot water was a godsend, and I lingered for longer, letting the water drain down my head and back, my eyes closed, trying to forget the images from the last two nights. I should just pack up my car and leave right this minute. But how could I explain this to my family? I decided to go through with my plan and bury the scarecrow. I could last one more night if I prepared for it.
I left the shower and dressed modestly, in another one of my old rock t-shirts and a pair of shorts. I returned to the yard and with a satisfying push, I dropped the scarecrow into the pit. It fell with a nice thud, and I smiled at my power over it in the day; it's just at night when I should fear it.
As I threw the first shovel of dirt back on top, I heard a noise in the grass, and it parted, revealing Eli wearing the same pair of jeans and work boots, but he had changed his shirt to a plain black one. In each hand, he held cans of paint and a brush.
"Should I even ask why you are burying that old scarecrow?" He asked as he came to stand beside me.
"Probably best if you didn't," I admitted, leaning on the shovel.
"Well, I'm going to anyway. Polly, why are you burying that old scarecrow?" He asked, a rare smile coming to his face.
"Because it's been haunting me at night," I said bluntly.
"Mhm, yeah, okay. Fine, don't tell me. I've been meaning to get rid of it anyway, but normal people take things to the landfill," Eli said with a smirk as he turned to the house and began setting up for his painting.
I finished burying the scarecrow and stomped the dirt down flat. I finished my job by moving my car and parking it directly over top of the spot where I buried it.
Eli watched me curiously but didn't remark. I returned the shovel to the barn and went out into the yard. I decided to go for a hike around the property. I needed some time alone to think and unwind.
As I made my way through the grass, it began to confuse me. This had obviously been a large farmland, but how had the wild plants grown in such a thick, endless maze of greenery?
It gave me an eerie feeling, like I was being watched as the grass covered three-quarters of my body, like there would be something lurking out in the grass, crouched low, waiting for me.
After a half-hour or so, I came upon a clear lake, only big enough to be considered an old swimming hole, I thought as I dipped my hand into the cool water.
I took off my outer clothes and decided to go for a swim. I lowered myself in slowly and reveled at the cool water. The pond wasn't deep, but the water was clean. A small rope swing had been hung from a large oak tree that bordered the pond. It also provided a nice layer of shade that made it the ideal spot to spend the day. I floated on my back in the water for what seemed like hours. The day seemed to slip away from me. A small beach of sand sat at one side of the pond, so I lay out in the sun and closed my eyes. The warm day warmed my soul, and soon I felt myself drifting off into sleep.
I awoke to the sound of crickets and darkness. I couldn't believe it. I had slept through the day; the long nights had finally caught up to me, and now I was stuck far away from the farmhouse. I didn't know if my plan with the scarecrow had worked, and this wasn't the place to test my theory.
A full moon lay overhead, casting a silvery glow on the world before me. A sea of grass swayed gently in the wind, sending shivers down it in shuddering waves. I looked around, but I was thankfully alone, just the crickets chirping along melodically as my only companions.
I had to make it back to the house, so I started on my way, my hands trailing along the tall grass. The pale light played easily on the deep green grass. Step by step, I made my way back towards the farmhouse and the barn, throwing caution to the wind, and I started to jog along, anything to get back faster. I would have to find Eli; maybe if we were together, he could stop it like before.
If I thought the field was creepy during the day, by night, it was a whole new world. Every sound made my heart stop for a beat before restarting in protest. When all of a sudden, the crickets stopped chirping. I dropped to my knees, letting the long grass cover me from sight. Through the strands, I could make out a shape moving slowly through the tall grass, the swish of the plants as it made its passage through them. My heart dropped. Was this Eli looking for me, or was it the scarecrow come for me?
That's when I heard a voice, a voice cutting through the silence. It started off quiet and raspy as it sang an eerie children's song.
"Did you, did you, did you come for me?
Run and hide, don't you know that I seek
The world it claims that I be not clean
When I come, you'll see how filthy I can be.
Tonight, it is happening, tonight you'll see
Beneath the moon, my shadows they do creep.
In this world, at night I shall be free.
Tonight it's happening, tonight you'll see.
When I come, you had better flee, or else I'll come and give my filth to thee."
I was frozen to the spot. It hadn't found me, but it knew I was in the grass somewhere. Now, with each word, chewed up and spat out like it was unhappy with it, now it was accompanied by the whistle of something in the air and a slicing sound as it cut through the grass around me.
It finished another round of its song, but now it stood within feet of me, its blade whistling as it cut. I took a moment to ready myself, and as it raised its blade to cut through the grass I hid in, I dashed out of my hiding spot and slammed into it. But nothing resisted me; I fell through it like it was a ghost.
In a tangle of limbs, I landed hard on the ground and tried quickly rolling to my feet. The blade of its weapon pierced the earth beside me. Now I could see it was a two-handed scythe the scarecrow carried, but something was off, its hands were human. Pale milky skin like a newborn baby. I had little time to examine the creature except for the canvas bag over its head. Two large black eyes came out of the slits that leaked a dark red blood like tears.
It screeched loudly and swung its scythe, but it was slow, and I took off through the grass in the direction of what I hoped was the farmhouse.
I completely gave up all pretense of hiding and sprinted as fast as I could without looking back. The grass seemed to part for me as I ran in terror. I was just glad that in high school, I had taken track as it was paying off now.
I could hear the noise of footsteps behind me, but I never turned. I ran and ran until my lungs felt like they were going to burst Something silver flashed to my left, and I tripped over something hard and unexpected. The wind was driven from my lungs as my chin slammed hard into the earth. I scrambled back, trying to escape, but the scarecrow was on me, its blade flashing angrily in the pale moonlight.
I wanted to move, I wanted to fight, but my body was weak and unable to catch its breath, and I lay there helpless as it swung its scythe towards me. I closed my eyes in fear, but I only heard the thud of dirt before I opened my eyes. The scythe was discarded, and the scarecrow stood staring at me.
It seemed to be struggling with something, one hand reached out towards me only to be snapped back to its side. A roar of rage pierced the canvas sack over its head as it struggled against its invisible bonds. For a moment, I thought I saw something behind it, three sets of hands holding it back. One feminine in nature, and the other two must have belonged to children. In a flash, I saw a beautiful woman who looked vaguely familiar with her long brown hair and plain dress.
"Run," she moaned as the scarecrow swung around wildly.
I didn't hesitate and fled, my breath had returned, and while my body still ached from my fall, I powered on, knowing this was the only respite I would receive tonight.
In the distance, I could see a small sheet metal shape; Eli's trailer was slowly coming closer as I ran, and I beelined it for the trailer. I could hear the footsteps behind me again as the scarecrow resumed its chase after me.
I reached the old trailer and banged on the door as loud as I could; I rattled the handle, but it was locked.
"Eli, it's me. It's Polly, please let me in. Please," I begged as I banged over and over again on the door of his trailer.
Nothing responded to me, and the trailer was dark. The single window in the back held no life inside the trailer. From the trailer, I couldn't tell which direction the farmhouse was in the dark, so I fled into the tall grass and crouched low, watching the clearing around the trailer.
While I caught my breath, I watched the scarecrow enter the clearing, its scythe back in its hand as it circled the trailer. When its raspy voice began singing again low and quiet, only loud enough for me to hear.
"Did you, did you, did you come for me?
Run and hide, don't you know that I seek
The world it claims that I be not clean
When I come, you'll see how filthy I can be.
Tonight, it is happening, tonight you'll see
Beneath the moon, my shadows they do creep.
In this world, at night, I shall be free.
Tonight it's happening, tonight you'll see.
When I come, you had better flee, or else I'll come and give my filth to thee."
The song made me shiver uncontrollably at the lyrics and the voice; it sounded demented like a crazy person letting their demons out into a nursery rhyme.
I lay perfectly still; for some reason, it couldn't find me. This creature I assumed was all-knowing seemed to have some very human weaknesses. It moved and talked like a human, even had certain body parts that were from a human; it even felt human the way it chased and reacted.
The scarecrow moved on through the tall grass, and I let out a sigh of relief as it lost my trail. How terrifying that beast was. In my pocket was the keys to my car. Eli had told me that the farmhouse was fairly close to his trailer. I had to navigate to the car, then drive as fast as I can away from this place. The fact that I hadn't left already because I was worried about money was insane. Who cares, I could drive to Barb's and demand my money back. Go home and just tell my parents the truth. The whole reason for actually leaving home this summer, why I was actually here in this field shivering uncontrollably in fear. But I couldn't think about that now, not now, there will be time to deal with that later. Now I needed to focus on staying alive, getting to the car, and getting out of here.
I went in the direction the scarecrow had; he knew the land better than I did, and every noise I made in the silence of the night made my heart drop. It took all my courage there and then to take one step forward, then another. I felt like I was going to be sick; my stomach was in knots to where it felt like even if I was sick, the only thing to come out would be only bile and stomach acid.
With each careful step, I made my way closer to the farmhouse and the scarecrow. Through the darkness, I could see my goal, the farmhouse, and the barn. Within minutes, I had made it securely to the farmhouse yard.
My car still sat in the same spot overtop of the hole where I buried the scarecrow. In the moonlight, I could see that the dirt had not been disturbed.
The scarecrow was nowhere to be seen, and I cautiously made my way to my car, my keys in my hand as I approached the driver's door. I hadn't locked the car, and it opened on the first try. I turned on my car as quietly as I could, but nothing could have prepared me for what happened next.
Something landed heavily on top of the roof of my car, making it dent inwards slightly. With horror, I saw the scarecrow swing its scythe into the back window of my car. With a crash, the glass shattered inwards; I put my car into gear and roared away down the lane. In my rearview mirror, I couldn't see anything, so I swerved back and forth, trying to shake the creature from the roof of my car when the scythe crashed in through the front window, making a hole just large enough for it.
The glass spidered, and I couldn't see out the window very well. I swerved down the road, but the scythe remained in the car, allowing the creature purchase. In a panic, I spun my wheel wildly, trying to dislodge it, but I lost control, and soon felt something crash into the front of my car. The airbag went off in my face, and I hadn't been wearing my seatbelt. I slammed hard into something else, and my vision went dark. I was in a daze; I must have passed out because I don't remember a lot of what happened next. I felt the car door open with a crunching tear, and it landed loudly as it was torn off. My body being grabbed and tossed on the ground. I felt no pain, just a gentle numbness. I felt blood on my head as I raised my arm to touch my face.
Then just blackness, complete, and empty just feelings, fear, unease, sadness. My eyes opened, and the scarecrow was overtop of me. Pain on my chest and my vision went dark again. Coughing as something poured down my throat. I couldn't breathe, why couldn't I breathe?
My eyes opened one last time, and I saw the scarecrow pouring a dark liquid from its mouth directly into my mouth and eyes. My vision was red and bloody before I closed them one last time.
The words of its song echoed into the emptiness of my thoughts.
"Did you, did you, did you come for me?
Run and hide, don't you know that I seek?
The world it claims that I be not clean.
When I come, you'll see how filthy I can be.
Tonight, it is happening, tonight you'll see,
Beneath the moon, my shadows they do creep.
In this world, at night, I shall be free.
Tonight it's happening, tonight you'll see.
When I come, you had better flee, or else I'll come and give my filth to thee."
The darkness enveloped me, and I felt myself slipping away, the sounds of the night fading into oblivion.
Day 4
When I awoke, it was morning, and I found myself lying in a hospital bed. My head throbbed with pain, and my body ached all over. The memories of the terrifying night flooded back to me, and I shuddered involuntarily.
A nurse entered the room, her kind eyes filled with concern. "You're awake," she said softly, her voice gentle like a soothing balm. "You're lucky to be alive. You were found unconscious by the side of the road next to your car. Do you remember what happened?"
I tried to speak, but my throat felt raw and dry. I croaked out a few words, barely audible. "The scarecrow... it attacked me..."
The nurse frowned, her brows furrowing in confusion. "Scarecrow? What scarecrow?"
My heart raced with panic as I realized the truth. Had it all been a nightmare? But the pain in my body felt too real, the memories too vivid to be mere hallucinations.
I tried to explain, to tell her about the terrifying creature that had pursued me through the night, but she only looked at me with concern, as if I were delusional.
"I'll get the doctor, and there is a young man who brought you in. He has been here all morning," the nurse said with a sly wink.
After a few minutes, she came back with Eli and a doctor, both of whom smiled gently at me through the window. The doctor came in first and went over my health with me. I had a concussion and bruises all over my body. A generous-sized cut from some glass on my scalp had been stitched and bandaged. My mind flashed back to the night before. How the scarecrow had filled me with its gooey red blood.
"Did you find anything else?" I asked cautiously, trying to avoid another scandal like with the nurse.
"No, as long as you have someone to pick you up and take you home, you are free to go. That nice young man out there said he would take you back home," the doctor said, pointing to Eli as he rose with a slight grunt.
I glanced at Eli, and he waved uncertainly at me. The doctor went out and began talking to Eli for a few minutes.
While I waited, my mind began to have strange thoughts. Something was wrong; I felt weird. My vision turned red, and I began to see images before my eyes.
The Harmons. They flashed before my eyes in real-time—the husband hugging his wife, then swinging his kids around, chopping wood outback next to the barn while his wife cooked in the kitchen.
As Eli entered the room, the visions stopped suddenly. Like my saving angel for the third time now, I was extremely grateful to Eli.
"Heyyyyy," Eli said, elongating the word in a sort of familiar yet awkward way.
"Hi," I said, closing my eyes and letting my embarrassment pass in only a few seconds.
"Why is it that fifty percent of the times we meet, you're in serious trouble?" Eli asked, coming to sit on the edge of my bed.
"Oh, you know me, bad luck, I guess," I said simply, becoming aware that under my blankets, I was in a backless hospital gown, and he was inches away from me.
I pulled the blanket up to my chin as a sort of cover for my appearance, but Eli didn't seem to notice. He continued talking to me. It was actually really sweet the way he seemed to care for me.
"Anyways, the doctor said I could take you back to the farmhouse to rest," Eli said.
"No," I said suddenly, becoming serious.
"What? Why not?" Eli asked.
"I just, I just can't right now. I'll tell you later. Just, we can't spend the night anywhere near the farm," I said, grabbing him by the arm, hoping to sway him.
"Well, I mean, if you want, we can grab your stuff, and my house can literally go anywhere," Eli said in an offhand manner, as if he had expected this.
"Promise?" I asked, trying not to seem too afraid.
Within the hour, we had returned to the farmhouse. The hole I dug was still covered over, and I stared at it as we parked in Eli's black pickup truck.
I ran inside and quickly got changed into my only clean clothes, grabbing everything I had from the farmhouse. I paused at the dinner table, looking down at the photographs of the Harmons and thinking back to that weird moment in the hospital with that odd vision.
The day was getting longer, and I hurried back to Eli, waiting in the pickup truck. I threw my bag in the back and climbed in beside him. He smiled and backtracked down the lane. We turned to the left and went down a side road where we came upon my poor old car. It had crashed directly into a tree, and the whole front part of the car had been destroyed. Fluid leaked all over the road, and I almost shed a tear for my departed friend. We had traveled far together. I grabbed a few things from the car, but something was off about the car. The front door had been knocked off and was discarded on the far side of the road. It looked impossible; the door hadn't even hit the tree.
Eli hooked his truck up to his trailer, and we sped off, leaving the property behind us. We headed into town and found a pullout on the side of the road with a set of bathrooms to camp at for the night. Eli's trailer was messy but cozy. He had laundry strewn over most surfaces, but it didn't smell bad.
The room consisted of a small kitchen with a bed in one corner. There were also a lot of posters and artwork on the walls. I examined one of a pretty girl with long raven-black hair. It was a realist painting, obviously taken from real life.
"Who is this?" I asked as Eli made us some food.
"That is just a friend," Eli said, glancing at the painting he had done.
"Well, she is a pretty friend," I said, enjoying watching the back of his ears turn bright red.
"Dinner's ready," he said, pouring the mixture of food he had made onto a pair of plates.
Eli served me and handed me a can of Coke to drink. I thanked him and sat on his bed. It was the only serviceable piece of furniture in the whole trailer. We both sat in silence for a moment while we ate. I could tell something was bothering Eli as he kept making glances toward me.
"What? What is it, Eli? Just say it," I said between bites.
"Tell me what happened, Polly. Tell me why you were burying the scarecrow, why you were passed out in the road with straw in your hair. Tell me why you were muttering about the Harmons and a scarecrow when I found you," Eli said suddenly, as if he were unloading a machine gun.
I looked Eli square in the face and relented. I told him about the last couple of nights at the farmhouse, about how the scarecrow had been tormenting me every night. About how he had saved me and how last night I had fled through the fields to his trailer and then to my car. I told him about the vision I had about the Harmons in the hospital. By the end of it, I was in tears. I felt so foolish and childish.
Eli took it in stride. He asked a few questions during my retelling, but by the end of it, he was silent. Tears fell down my face and landed in my lap. We had both put our plates on the counter, and Eli hugged me. He put his arms around me, and I nuzzled into his shoulder, feeling comforted again in him at the lowest points of my life.
With a gentle hand, he wiped away my tears, and I smiled, letting a nervous laugh escape my lips. I looked up into his face and felt his stare before I saw it. His pale blue eyes shone with comfort, and then his lips were on mine as he kissed me quickly before pulling away slightly.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. That was insensitive of me. You're sad, and I took advantage of that," Eli said, moving back slightly.
"Shut up," I said, and grabbed his shirt, bringing him back in.

I (30F) met this guy (34M) on Raya a month and a half ago. We immediately hit it off. Always on the phone, FT watching movies/shows every single night. Planning upcoming trips (he lives in Indianapolis and I live in Atlanta). After a week he planned his trip to Atlanta and we agreed I'd go to Indianapolis two weeks later, and he would come to LA where I would be two weeks after that. Shortly before coming to Atlanta, he asked me to go with him to TN with his parents the week before I go to Indianapolis (the week after he came to Atlanta). I said yes and we were both SO excited. I just think things changed in Atlanta. I found him to be pretty inconsiderate because we only went places he wanted to go, stayed out very late every night, and really only met up with his friends. His excessive weed smoking also bothered me. His last night there, I told him how I felt and he completely disagreed and thought that he was being considerate so we had a slight argument. The next day before I took him to the airport, I asked him whether the disagreement changed anything between us and he said no, so I believed that.
Over the next week after Atlanta, the conversations slowed and we didn't watch movies or FaceTime not even a single time. He never mentioned TN again and went without me. While in TN, he hardly texted me back, so I told him I felt things were different. He was a little defensive but apologized and said it was not intentional. Then over the next few days (leading up to me going to Indianapolis), conversation was still slow and still no FaceTime. I just felt in my guy things were different and was not comfortable going anymore (I was solely going to visit him, but when he came to Atlanta, his friends were there too)... but he assured me things were good and that he was excited for me to come.
I am now in Indianapolis and heading home today. I have very mixed feelings about how things went. I am sad that I'm leaving because it feels like this is the last time I will ever see him. Kind of like I'm grieving? The same level of inconsiderateness continued here. He had to work a couple of days and those days I was my by myself until the evening time, which I understood. He's a photographer and his income isnt steady so when he gets a gig he has to take it. I understand. But one of the gigs were pre-planned. He told me about it before I came and put my name on the list to go with him. The morning of the event, he told me that the attire was pink and dressy. Of course I didnt pack anything to fit the dress code so I couldnt go. That evening I told him I just wanted Chillis. He said, "we can go for you but I'm not going to eat anything because I don't like Chillis" and I was like okay cool, let's go where you want to go. He had to take a nap first. Then he had to shower. Then he has to roll his weed. THEN we went. I was starving. Kitchen was closed when we got there. I was so pissed and had a visible attitude. We settled for a taco truck. The next morning, we were laying in bed and I saw that he accidentally opened Tinder. He left for a quick gig and I texted him letting him know we should start using condoms since hes on Tinder. He basically scolded me and said he wasnt on Tinder and he just has the app and that it was immature of me to accuse first before just asking. I apologized. Later, we went back to try the place where the kitchen was closed. Had an overall good day. Then we're sipping wine and watching one of his shows to close the evening, and I suggest a show and he says no and just puts on another one of his shows. The wine hit me at that moment and I went off and told him he's been so inconsiderate despite how understanding I've been the whole trip. He didnt like my tone so he yelled back a little. I called my best friend to get her take on the situation and she did agree that he was inconsiderate but that i shouldnt have yelled. I accept full responsibility for my delivery but it was really how I felt.
I slept on the couch but woke him up to talk about it. I guess I was still emotional and yelling (which I didnt realize I was doing) because he got in my face and yelled, "watch your tone in my f***ing house" and I told him that I was going to look into changing my flight or getting a hotel. He said let's just go to sleep and talk about it when we wake up. At 11 he woke up and I asked if we could talk about it. He said after he gets out the shower. After the shower, the talk was short. It was mainly me asking him if he thought this was going to work. He said he wanted it to work but that he isnt confident.
Now were down to the last day, we've been having a good time the last two days, but we did agree that him coming to LA was too soon and expensive for now. Is it possible to turn this around? I do like him aside from him being inconsiderate. I really enjoyed us connecting before things got weird. But not I feel as though he's looking at me as someone who likes to cause problems, even though that isn't the case. I just feel as though I flew out to see him just to be disregarded. I want to turn things around and get back to where they were. Will pulling back a little, but not maliciously, leaving the ball in his court work?

I want to thank Meatcanyon and Wendigoon for starting Creepcast. I've played around with writing horror, and here is my first short story. I will post it for free in a few other places to see what people think. Please enjoy!
A Hike to Remember
By R.L. Oclen
Chapter 1
A woman sits with hastily pulled-up fire-red hair in the waiting room of the state patrol station. The procedurally sterile off-white walls and decade-old magazines do little for comfort. With her head hanging low, her shoulders pushing forward, and her boots rapidly tapping on the floor, something has to give.
"Please just let her be okay." The woman growls as a pair of officers come in from the field. The officers' demeanors quickly change when they see the familiar face.
"Tabitha, did Officer Nichols call you?" one of the state patrol officers asked sympathetically.
"Yes, he asked me to come in and pick up a few things," Tabitha said, shooting back a muted look.
" I'll let them know you're here." The officer said, nodding to Tabitha as they passed the security door. Tabitha leaned back against the hard plastic chair, staring blankly into the fluorescent light. She had done this dance in the macabre repeatedly over the past month. The last image of her younger sister, Lisa, still burned in her mind. Tabitha had always been protective over her younger sister after their parents died. A pang of guilt shoots through her chest as she thinks about her and Lisa's argument.
"Tabitha Hymm, Officer Nichols is ready for you."
"Okay," she stood up, shaking off her guilt, and followed the officer back. The familiar surroundings of the state patrol station blurred as Tabitha stared forward. She followed the officer as they came to a rustic wooden office door, which was embossed with "Officer Nichols."
The escorting officer turns the old brass door knob. "Sir, I have Tabitha Hymm here." A grizzled West Virginia Highway State Patrol veteran sits behind the desk and nods. The escorting officer steps aside, pushing the door open as Tabitha pushes past him and slumps in the awaiting chair like so many times before. An uncomfortable relationship had formed between the two, born out of necessity and duty.
"Cup of coffee?"
"No thanks. Let's just cut to the chase. You don't have anything new?"
The worn laugh lines and Officer Nichols's face flattens. His eyebrows contour sympathetically as he shakes his head.
"Tabitha, I don't have anything else new for you. I wanted to give you the clothes returned from the lab." Her face darkened at the same response she had heard many times.
"As we discussed two weeks ago, there is nothing new and no signs of struggle or foul play," Officer Nichols said while placing a box marked evidence on the table and sliding it forward. Tabitha began to weep at the realization of Lisa's clothes in front of her. In a coordinated queue, Officer Nichols brought out a box of tissues. Reluctantly, Tabitha took a few moments to unblur her vision.
"How does someone stop their car in the middle of the Remington West Virginia State Park, lock it, and then walk into the woods?" Officer Nichols clasped his hands together and sighed at her worn question.
"Tabitha, I wish I had an answer for why your sister stopped her car in the woods and simply walked off. We're still going through her cell phone, but no signs exist that anyone forced her. On that Tuesday morning, she pulled over to the side of the road, secured her car, and walked away." Officer Nichols said empathetically.
Tabitha became stoic at the same explanation she had heard many times before. " So what next?"
"You should go back to Ohio, and I'll contact you as soon as I have more information." She winced at Officer Nichols's words. Reality began to pull at her that bills and work wouldn't wait much longer.
"If I leave, she's gone for good."
" You staying won't bring her back." Officer Nichols said sympathetically.
" So is that it? She's just gone?"
" Tabitha, I'll be honest with you. In cases like this… when people do things like this. Recovery is harder in the spring due to the weather and the animals. You know her mental condition better than I do. I can't explain why she did what she did. But until I find a solution, a suicide note, some intention, or body. She's not here. Tabitha, I'm-"
" Don't you fucking say sorry!" Tabitha stood up, screaming at Officer Nichols, throwing the plastic chair backward against the wall. " I should just look for myself."
"No!" Officer Nichols said momentarily, gripping the desk as his face hardened, then relaxed. Tabitha was caught off guard by Officer Nichols, who was normally composed. "Tabitha, I know this is unbearable. I've sat on this side of the desk and had these conversations. Trust me; I need you to be safe if I need your help later."
Tabitha nods, knowing Officer Nichols is right. She reaches down, picks up the evidence box of her sister's belongings, and leaves.
" Tabitha, if you're heading home, don't stop your car; just keep driving." Tabitha stops to look at Officer Nichols, feeling an eeriness to his words.
" Goodbye, Officer Nichols," Tabitha said as she closed the rustic wooden door behind her. She counted the tiles as she exited the West Virginia State Patrol Station. Placing her sister's belongings carefully in the back seat of her Jeep, Tabitha then sat momentarily behind the steering wheel, staring at the emblem. The familiar numbness washed over Tabitha as she pushed the start button. She pulled onto the highway, driving to the motel that had been home for the last month or so. Muted pop music accented the drive back as her mind raced with questions. Once inside the two-and-a-half-star motel room, Tabitha sat her sister's belongings on the corner table, crumbled onto the bed, and cried.
***
Tabitha wiped the steam from the slightly spotted mirror above the bathroom sink. The hot water from the shower felt good and loosened some of the stress from her body. Looking back at her, Tabitha's face was framed by damp curls around her shoulders. Her face marked the stress of the past month. Frowning, she examined the bags under her eyes; sleep had to come tonight. Walking into the living area, She changed into her favorite gym shorts and oversized sleep shirt. The alarm on her phone flashed "7:00 am," so she could drive home five hours after breakfast.
Tabitha hated feeling comfortable in this once strange room, but falling asleep was getting easier now. Her eyes closed slowly as the ceiling fan droned evenly. At first, nothing came in her dreams, but she let her guard down and slipped further into sleep.
As she dreamed of floating overhead like a bird of prey, Tabitha soared over the vast Remington National Park. The high noon sun bore down on the crisp woods, perfectly contrasting sky and forest. The heat of the sun felt good on her feathers. Distant cries rang out through the dream-like forest, catching her attention. Tabitha tilted her wings toward the screams, feeling a sense of familiar curiosity.
She now recognized the sobs and cries for help as she flew closer, her sharp eyes locked on her sister leaning against a large oak tree. She glided overhead without care, examining the situation below. Lisa clung to the tree, her eyes darting back and forth, scanning upwards. Lisa's face reflected desperation, looking for help in any direction. Tabitha lazily circles Lisa several times before perching on a sturdy branch higher in one of the oak trees. She watched Lisa intently with hunger. She bellowed deeply, hearing the unnatural sound she made, catching Lisa's eyes. Lisa's expression changed; she became calm, almost uncaring, as she stared back at Tabitha's form. Hunger grew exponentially in Tabitha as she spread her large wings. Her large eyes gaze down at Lisa before diving straight for her sister.
Tabitha jolts awake to the alarm on her phone flashing "7:23 AM." She breathes in sharply, shaking off the last horrible thoughts from the reoccurring nightmare. The strange details become more vivid each time. The lingering memories of folk stories her mother told sat in the back of her mind. In those stories, the dead would reach out in dreams as a matter of warning. Leaning back on the headboard, she searched for the advice her psychologist gave her. During their last session, Dr. Ryland explained dreams are a form of self-actualization of guilt. He told Tabitha that it was natural to feel responsible when losing a loved one in this manner.
Tabitha grumbled, lightly running her hands through her red hair; she pushed everything to the back of her mind. "Get it together!" She grumbled to herself. She pushed herself off the bed and got ready to leave. It was going to be a long trip home, and the only thing she could do now was leave things in the authorities' hands. Packing up was pretty easy since she only cycled through the outfits she brought. The local laundromat must have made a small fortune off her. Tabitha took one last look at the box of Lisa's belongings before throwing them in her duffle bag. She was thankful she didn't have to spend another night in this room.
***
Tabitha sat behind the wheel, waiting for the 90's model minivan to finish their order so she could grab a breakfast burrito on the way out. Considering the situation, the Deer Stop Family Restaurant did have a good breakfast. Finally, pulling up to the 70-style drive-in board, Tabitha rolled off the order she had been accustomed to. " I'll take a large iced tea with the double breakfast burrito meal and hash browns, please."
" Would you like some happy hot sauce with that?"
" That's fine, and a few ketchup packets as well."
" Your total is $8.79. Please pull around."
She pulled around to her window, flashed her debit card, got the receipt, and waited for her food. Luckily, the young woman serving her wasn't very talkative in the morning. The last thing she wanted was a conversation about the weather or meaningless small talk.
" Here's your large iced tea and breakfast meal. Ketchup and happy hot sauce are inside."
" Thanks," Tabitha said while mustering her best fake smile. The woman only smiled and nodded as the service window automatically closed. She pulled into the parking lot and dug into breakfast. Turning the radio to the weather, Tabitha sat back and enjoyed her meal. The local DJ read through the headlines, making nonpartisan comments about politics and grumbling about improving the economy. Tabitha powered through the updates of the "out-of-state woman" who'd gone missing. It was nice that the local radio station gave Lisa's name, description, and a missing person's number for sightings or leads. Tabitha even interviewed with the local news and radio stations, hoping it would bring Lisa home. But she soon found all it brought was a sorrowful look from the locals as she interacted with them in her day-to-day life.
Finishing the last of her hash browns, Lisa wadded up everything in the paper bag and threw it in the back seat. The 9 AM weather report said it was nothing but clear skies and sun the rest of the week. Tabitha flipped the radio over to the greatest hit station, pulled out of the parking lot, and began her trip home. She memorized the roads, every bend and turn in the early weeks as she frantically looked for Lisa. There's something hypnotic about the trees: the way they flow together. The trees' green tops and the oak trees' wide trunks were a relaxing view. Tabitha enjoyed the lazy s-curves of the road, bending and winding around the hills and the trees. The occasional farmhouse or field dotted the sides of the road as she made her way to the main highway.
The blur of a semi-truck snapped Tabitha's attention as she pulled up to the mouth of the highway. She had four and a half hours ahead of her, which would be a long ride. Tabitha pulled onto the highway and picked up speed, noting sparse traffic. She relaxed into her seat, letting her gaze gloss over the blur of green foliage. Without warning, Tabitha caught a large shadow from the corner of her left eye. When she registered the black feathery form, Tabitha tensed up and slammed on the brakes as it swooped across the vehicle's hood. Quickly, she pulled the car safely off the road. She couldn't determine exactly what it was, but it was bigger than any bird she'd seen. It was a bird, right? Tabitha turned off her Jeep and grabbed the keys and cell phone. Standing before the Jeep, she looked over the grill to see if she made contact with the entity.
Bewildered, she scanned the tree line, spotting something in the distance. Sitting in the clearing of the large oak forest was an enormous black owl. It stared intently at Tabitha with bright, shiny yellow eyes. She pushed the lock button on her keys, causing the jeep to beep securely. She turned, looking across the open field, an enormous black owl perched in the upper branches of an old oak tree. Each step she took away from the road piqued her curiosity. Soon, Tabitha stood in the middle of the open field, staring intently into the eyes of the enormous owl.
The horn of a passing semi-truck blared, pulling Tabitha's attention away from the mysterious large creature. She looked back and saw that she had walked farther away from the Jeep than she had thought. She glanced back to the forest line only to see the enormous owl was deeper into the woods than before. She narrowed her vision to find the two large, bright yellow eyes staring back. Had it moved? The day's stress, care, and worry suddenly poured out of Tabitha. It was replaced by only curiosity and overbearing tranquility. She warmly smiled for the first time in months as her feet pulled her further into the woods.
Chapter 2
The tug of gravity pulls Tabitha to her senses as her body reacts, falling forward. Her arms thrust forward, bracing for impact. Water rushes around her face as she struggles to get her bearings. Quickly, Tabitha pushed herself up in the ankle-high stream she fell in. The haze slowly clears from her mind as she stares at the muddy water. The dull ache throbs up her legs. Tabitha can smell the sweat from her clothes. Her face contorted in panic as she quickly stood up in the water, looking for her cell. Thankfully, the device was still in her pocket, dry and unscathed.
"One o'clock. How can that be?" Tabitha says, slowly looking up from the screen to see the vast, dense West Virginia forest encompassing her view. She shakes her head back and forth with disbelief. A smile gently spreads across her face, with the last bit of tranquility leaving her body. How did I get out here? Her breathing becomes faster as her pulse begins to quicken. I'm in the forest. I'm all alone—just like Lisa!
"NO, NO, NO, NO! THIS FUCKING CAN'T BE HAPPENING TO ME!" Tabitha screams into the void of trees. Her eyes well up with tears as she crumbles to her knees, gripping her phone tightly to her chest. Her sobs ring out through the thick oak trees. Her breath slows a little as she regains her composure. She begins to search her mind for anything. What is the last thing I can remember? The image of the black shadow crossing her vision while driving flashes into her mind.
"Okay, I got out of the Jeep, the…then what?" Tabitha says, trying to refresh her memories. She thinks her memory is not just gone; it's a black void in her mind. Complete blackness fills her mind right after remembering locking the Jeep and then turning to see the…
"Fuck I saw something. What was it!" Tabitha says, frustrated with her mind. She knew there must be a logical reason she was out here. Officer Nichols warned her not to go looking for her sister. She wasn't stupid; she just said that as a last-ditch effort to get him to do anything. Now I'm here.
"Run!" Tabitha heard Lisa's voice in her ear. Before she could turn around, she heard a loud bellowing coming from overhead. Fear shot down her back, reminding her of the nightmares she had over the past month. She shot forward full bore as something crashed to the ground behind her. Glancing back as she ran, a black mass of feathers convulsed between the broken branches of the trees. Its slick black feathers rippled across its surface as its bones crackled and flesh tore. Its body contorted and twisted from the shape of an owl to something bigger.
"Run, Tabby! Don't let it catch you!" Tabitha pushed forward, hearing Lisa's scream beside her face. Her breath burned in her chest, and she moved past the old oak trees bent over the creek bed. Her feet slammed rapidly, splashing along the side of the creek. Another loud bellow comes from behind as the trees bend and break to the force behind her. A small opening in the rocky creek bed catches her sight from the left. She dives into the crevasses, not caring where the fathoms lead. Tabitha tumbles in the pitch black, taking scrapes and sharp jabs from the rocks as she tumbles further into the void.
She finally tumbles to a stop on the sandy, wet floor of the cave. Her body aches from the sudden burst of exhaustion. The cool water running around her body from the creek is soothing despite her bumps and bruises. Pushing herself up, she scoots out of the water. Feeling her way forward, she finds a dry spot to collect herself. Quickly pushing her hand into her pocket, she finds her phone undamaged.
The sound of footsteps pushing against the creek fills the void around Tabitha as the light steps move closer to each other up the underground creekbed. She slowly removes her cell from her pocket and then shines the camera light toward the sound. A pair of scratched and bruised pale bare legs hold up a frail form in front of her in the creek. She wears the darkness as a shroud with nothing else to clothe her. Tabitha froze, not wanting to shine the light further in the pale form before her.
"Tabby, turn your light off. You need to save your battery." Tabitha turned off the light and then rushed forward, embracing Lisa—the how or why didn't matter, only the now. The pale form hugged her tightly. Tabitha felt her cold, bare skin. The darkness couldn't hide the feeling of the marks across her back and torso.
"Lisa, I'm-"
"Hush! I don't have much time. This wasn't your fault! I'm with Mom and Dad now. You have to survive, Tabby! Listen. Wait until the sun shines through the cracks, making a trail out. Follow it down the creek until you come to the opening. You'll see a large hill you hike up for a cell signal. And remember…If you can't see it… It can't hurt you. I love you-"
Tabitha stumbled forward before catching herself. The void in front of her arms was only filled by cool air. She looked up and noticed a faint glimmer of light pushing through the ceiling. She sat down, relaxing against the limestone wall of the cave, waiting for the trail of light to form.
***
After a few hours, the light shining through the cracks of the cave ceiling was bright enough to lead Tabitha to the other side. She stepped onto the creek bed, thankful for the sun hanging lower in the sky. Scanning the sky, Tabitha saw only a few clouds. The foothills of Appalachia backdropped the forest as she scanned for the hill. Her eyes found the trail leading up the steady slope of an impressive hill. The top of the hill was bare. Part of the hill must have sheared off in a landslide, leaving the top void of trees and a jagged cliff face. Tabitha started her hike up the back of the hill. She was careful to stay under the heavy canopy of the old trees, hopefully avoiding the creature's eyes.
She did her best to quiet her mind while hiking up the trail. Come on, almost to the top, then I can call 911, she replayed repeatedly in her mind. Her adrenaline made up for the lack of food since morning. She drank some water from a clean spot in the creek. She was placing her bet on rescue rather than worrying about the water.
Leaning against one of the trees, Tabitha took out her cell and measured the signal.
"Damn it, nothing!" She swore under her breath. She listened nervously and cautiously peered her head out from the tree line. Standing at the tree line, the cell phone still had a low signal. She pushed her anxiety down with a swallow and slowly stepped forward onto the bare rock. Tabitha was now out in the open. She walked with the cell phone pointed upwards, measuring the signal. Within three feet of the cliff face, her signal bar punched up to full. Tabitha began to punch in the numbers just as a pair of large yellow eyes appeared. She felt her legs become weak, and her vision blurred as the creature snared her in its gaze.
Tabitha ducked, missing the giant owl's claws as it swooped for her. She squinted her eyes shut, momentarily breaking the hold of the infernal beast as it crashed to the ground, tumbling down the path of old trees. On her hands and knees, she tucked the dialed phone back into her pocket. She heard the creature's loud bellowing, followed by the snapping of bone and flesh ripping. It was changing its shape to finish her off.
Tabitha tried to get up, but the flash of its eyes did something to her. Her legs were numb, her stomach was in knots, and she could barely put a few thoughts together.
"If you can't see it, it can't hurt you." Tabitha heard clearly in her left ear. She quickly pushed herself into a sitting position and fumbled for the key chain in her right pocket. Pulling the long chain of keys, luck charms, and keepsakes, her father's Swiss army knife dangled at the end. She slowly opened the half-inch blade. Her body wholeheartedly rejected her plan and tried to fight her. Every internal warning system sounded as her body fought against her as she brought the blade against the corner of her left eye.
She didn't know if she could do it until the creature bellowed in her direction. With one quick motion, the half-inch blade sliced across her left eye. The world dimmed and then went black on her left side. Behind her, the beast's thundering gallop was getting closer. Tabitha plunged herself into total darkness with the last bit of her strength. Her hand gripped tightly around the bloody knife as she folded forward onto the ground. She could feel herself weeping blood. She squinted, doing her best to stem the tide of blood loss.
A large feathered paw drove into Tabitha's right side, flipping her onto her back. She lay still as the hulking creature stood over her. It remained motionless, and Tabitha was confused about why it didn't move or bite her. Then she started to giggle, just a little at first. Then, laughing madly into the creature's face as it growled back at her. She could not see it; she couldn't see anything. Her mind couldn't be eaten!
The creature roared into Tabitha's face while plunging one of its sharp claws into her shoulder. Tabitha screamed in pain, slashing the knife downward. The blade hit something soft, and she ripped the blade down, rending whatever she had hit on the abomination. A bright yellow, foul-smelling liquid gushed in a torrent over Tabitha's face. She turned to cough, having swallowed a portion of it. The creature reared back, squealing in pain. Its hind leg came down hard on Tabitha's leg, snapping her tibia. She jerked her leg up, causing the creature to tumble forward and fall over the edge of the cliff side.
Tabitha heard the creature crash below at the base of the hill. A large dead tree speared the creature through its chest. Tabitha could hear the labored whines of the creature as its cries became weak and slowed. A wave of sickness hit her as she rolled over and vomited. The foul smell drenched her. She did her best to focus, reaching into her pocket and pulling out the phone. By memory, she typed in the unlock pin. She held her breath and placed her thumb where the call button should be.
She could hear the call being made then, "911. What is your emergency?"
"Please help me! A bear has attacked me, and I can't see. I think I am on a hill."
"Ok, ma'am, stay with me! Do you know where you are located?"
"No, I'm lost. Please send help."
"It's okay. Stay with me on the phone, and I'll use the cell signal to try to find you."
"I'm on top of one of the hills. I think I am lying on a bare roc-" Tabitha slipped unconscious with the cell still tightly in her hand. Her body began to tremble and convulse.
"Ma'am! Ma'am! Stay with me. I have help on the way."
Chapter 3
A young man in military fatigues frantically compiles images and reconnaissance data from his drone feed. Confirming his hunch, he commands the winged surveillance drone to make a hard left and send a live video feed. His eyes widened as he saw a large owl-shaped shadow crash onto the top of a hill. He watches in awe as the sleek black owl twists and shifts into something much larger, like a grizzly. As the drone turns, he sees a woman at the cliff's edge trying to steady yourself on her hands and knees.
He bolts up from the command module, jotting down the drone's coordinates on one of the printouts. The drab government-issued office motif for the watch station blurs in the corner of his eye as he rushes down the hallway to the watch commander's office.
"Sir, recon has eyes on AMOS! And it's feeding!" the man said, swinging the heavy wooden door open. He took the hastily compiled file and pushed it forward to the commanding officer.
An older, tanned man quickly stands, reaching for the files. His brow furls, seeing his charge is awake. "Keep eyes on it! Go Adams!" The young man nods, turning on his heel and bolting for the drone command module. As his office door slams shut from the subordinate officer, he grabs his headset and frantically dials the closest military outpost to the coordinates.
"Hello, Sergeant Klein; this is Agent Smith of Black Watch outpost 7948! Shadow is active, code Alpha, Mike, Oscar, Sierra. The coordinates and data package have been sent. A civilian is on the ground; deploy strike-and-rescue ASAP.
"We'll be up in five, Agent Smith! The line cuts as Agent Smith closes out the call on his headset and rushes to the door. The normally quiet watch station buzzes alive, with personnel flooding the central command station. The background echoes resource allocation calls, frantic typing, and the hum of cold computers warming up.
"Adams, get our eyes back on Amos!"
"Coming back around in 30 seconds." Thirty sets of eyes stare at the three giant screens, anxiously waiting for the drone feed to clear the bank of trees. The camera clears the tre top to see the giant feathered grizzly rear back slinging its massive head away from its prey. Its large yellow right eye spews bright yellow liquid all over the red-haired woman and the cliff face. The giant feathered grizzly missteps, crushing the woman's leg and causing the creature to tumble over the cliff face.
"Fuck!" Agent Smith yells in horror as he watches AMOS fall four stories, impaling a sharp, 3-meter-tall log lodged in the boulders. The command center freezes wide-eyed at the flailing dying creature on screen. Agent Smith pulls his cell out quickly and dials.
"Klein, Scrub the current request! AMOS is down! Switch to rescue and harvest now!
"What, someone took out AMOS?"
"YES! It's at the bottom of the cliff, bleeding out essence! The woman is covered in it as well. Clean as much of it off her as possible before you take her to the ER.
"Understood!"
Agent Smith, in a rage, slings his phone straight forward, connecting with Private Adams's skull. Adams flinches at the sudden impact of the hard plastic and covers his head. Agent Smith grabs the table in front of him and flips it over, sending the computer equipment crashing to the government-issued tiled floor.
"A two-year cycle gone! All that essence is gone! Now I have to wait another 24 months for AMOS to resurrect!" Agent Smith screams, causing the rest of the staff to recoil away in fear.
"Jones!" Agent Smith says sternly, turning to a petite woman on his left. She stares at him, pleading.
"Yes Sir?'
"Get Officer Nichols on my office line. That fuck up has some explaining. He should have told us AMOS was awake."
"Right away!" Jones quickly sits back down and begins dialing Nichols, thankful she doesn't have to deal with Agent Smith further. The command center quickly shifts gears as Agent Smith returns to his office.
***
Two Weeks later…
"Tabitha… Tabitha… This is Doctor Wilhelm. Wake up." The kind older gentleman said as they gently nudged Tabitha in her hospital bed.
"Where am I?" Tabitha asked, waking from what felt like years of sleep. She sat up, the world still pitch black, but an odd sense of the world around her seemed to hum just behind her eyes.
"You're in the hospital, dear; you scared us. Do you remember anything?" He said as he sat down on the side of her bed.
Tabitha thought for a moment the last parts after she slashed her eyes were a blur. She remembers people yelling and the sound of two or three helicopters over her. " No, it's really all just a blur."
"Well, it's probably for the best. You had some very serious injuries. The first night, we honestly didn't think you would make it. Then…" The doctor trailed off with a concerned expression, not knowing how to explain things further.
Tabitha felt his pulse quicken somehow. She didn't understand it but fully felt or sensed the doctor beside her. She sensed the two other nurses standing at the end of the bed. Her body didn't hurt. She felt great. She felt hungry.
"Doctor, you said had. What happened to my injuries?" She said calmly, trying not to startle the old doctor further.
"Well, Tabitha, it's the closest thing to a miracle I've ever seen. You had violent seizures from the minute you hit the entrance of the ER. We couldn't even set your leg. The medications we gave you had a minimal effect, and you thrashed so much that we had to restrain you. Then, the early morning check-in found you in a deep sleep. All but your eyes were completely healed. So we switched gears to support care and treated your eyes the best we could." He said, watching her reaction.
Tabitha leaned back in her bed, taking in the wild account. "Do you know how I healed so quickly?"
"What happened to you is beyond all scientific reason. A miracle is the only way the staff and I can explain it. I know you have been through a lot, but I want to check your eyes."
"Thank you for all your help, Doctor Wilhelm." She said, sitting up in bed.
"You are most welcome, dear. Now I am going to unwrap your eye-dressing. Hold still, please." he said as he reached up and pulled on the bandage tape. Tabitha felt a quick tug and felt the bandages loosen from around her head. The doctor slowly unwrapped the bandages. The doctor's brow wrinkled as he examined the two large black scabs covering Tabitha's eyes.
"Tell me if this hurts at all, ok?"
"Yes, doctor." She relaxes as the doctor's gloved fingers pass over the scab. He pushes and gently tugs at the side of one, and it starts to lift. He pulls on the scab more, and Tabitha begins to sense the light as it hits her eyelid.
"Oh, I can sense the light, Doctor Wilhelm!" She said, smiling.
"Wonderful! Nurse Allen, please hand me some saline solution. I think a little water will loosen these right up. Hold still; this may feel cold," he said as he reached for the solution. She felt the cool liquid flush over the left eye, then the right. The scabs fell away with a gentle tug from the doctor. She could see the light shine through her eyelids. She grinned widely, happy to have some form of sight left.
"Please open your eyes for me," he said as he sat back on the bed. Tabitha slowly opened her eyes. The flood of light was almost too much, causing her to squint. After a few moments, she adjusted to the fluorescent lights. Three figures began to take shape in front of her. First, the distinguished older features of Doctor Wilhelm came into view quickly, followed by the brunette and blonde younger nurses standing at the end of the bed. Suddenly, her vision snapped into place, crisp and clear.
"I can see perfectly! This is amazing! Thank you, Doctor Wilhem!" she said, turning to look directly into his eyes, but he stared back at her unmovingly.
"Doctor Wilhelm?" she said as her expression became more worried. Doctor Wilhelm just sat staring, intensely focused on her eyes. His expression was overbearingly calm. She glanced at the nurses, rigidly staring back at her with trapped, calm expressions. Doctor Wilhelm began to twitch slightly. It traveled from the base of his spine out to his limbs, finally convulsing.
"Doctor Wilhelm, are you okay?" Tabitha yelled as the doctor began to have a seizure and fell on top of her bed.
"Help Him!" She screamed at the two nurses only to see both of them crumble to the tiled floor. One of them bashed her head off the bed frame. Tabitha recoils back from Doctor Wilhelm in terror as he starts foaming at the mouth. She climbs over the bed rail and hits the tiled concrete floor with a thud. Her adrenaline surges as she bolts for the door, looking for help.
At the entrance of her hospital room, she sees another nurse leaving the adjacent room. "Please, my doctor and staff need help!" As the male nurse turns to see Tabitha, he suddenly goes stiff before collapsing into a violent seizure, spilling his cart over with him.
"What's happening!" Tabitha screams, thinking something is in the air, or everyone has come down with something. A pair of security guards round the corner, hearing the screams and commotion.
"Ma'am, are yo-" The guard freezes mid-stride as he makes eye contact with Tabitha. Both men start to convulse and topple over, thrashing violently on the hard tile.
"No, no, no, no!" Tabitha yells as she darts into the women's bathroom, a few doors up the hall. She runs in, terrified of the situation. She approaches one of the sinks, bracing herself against the cool porcelain. Her stomach turns, and she dry heaves in the sink. She steadies herself while turning on the cold water. Leaning in, she takes a drink. As she looks up, a glint of two yellow eyes catches her. Tabitha stumbles backward on reflex. Then, she sees her reflection in the mirror. Two completely bright yellow eyes stare back at Tabitha. She screams at herself in the mirror, not feeling hungry anymore.
The end.
I will

Background:
Delta Green is a covert group inside the United States federal government. Its mission is to investigate, contain, and conceal unnatural events, because the unnatural is real and it kills. Agents of Delta Green have limited knowledge of these forces and those who know more suffer that burden unable to turn back. Sometimes it is better to know just enough to get the job done, and nothing more.
New agents Schel, Palmer and Kurtz have drawn the attention of Delta Green after recent exposures to the unnatural. We join their journey as they pay the price (physical and mental) to save those who never knew they were at risk.
Kurtz: A computer scientist with dangerous interests.
Schel: An astrophysicist scarred by exposure to unnatural forces.
Palmer: An anthropology professor and amateur photographer with deep experience in the occult.
Last Things Last:
Each agent receives a call from a blocked number at precisely 3:17pm, leaving a voice message containing nothing but indistinct background chatter. Family members think nothing of it in this day and age, but underneath the mundane exists a message detailing a where to find the beginnings of the new mission.
Respectively they make their way to post office building in their city, and into a conference room where the see their case manager Stephen Dennison. A stocky aged man with a distinctive thick moustache and crew cut gives the agents a dossier with their next assignment.
Clyde Baughman a former Delta Green agent active in the 1970s has died unexpectedly of a heart attack in his apartment. Delta Green does not suspect anything unnatural about his death, but record keeping was relaxed in the past, and Delta Green need to be certain anything deemed unnatural that Clyde may have kept be removed from play.
Baughman’s children are expected to be in the city within 48hrs to clean up his affairs and his apartment, and the agents are to ensure they find nothing. Handing them the key, he wished them luck and said one way or another report back here in 48hrs.
The agents head to the apartment building via Uber. Taking a cautious approach, they notice an old lady who is watching the comings and goings to potentially interrupt or spy on to breakup her loneliness. Palmer drew her attention, investigating the building and when she “popped” up walking her dog he explained he was into urban photography.
Clear to approach the apartment without obstacle, Kurtz and Schel search the house starting with the kitchen and lounge. The house showed signs of not being lived in for months despite Clyde dying her mere days ago.
Palmer joined as the detailed search continued towards the bedrooms and bathroom. The bathroom was a grizzly scene, cleared of a body but not the evidence of the fall. In the bedroom used as an office the agents a vast pile of miscellaneous papers. Schel’s experience with administration roles saw them create a system to get through the papers at pace without missing anything. Nothing out of the natural realm was found but there was a clear indication Clyde had bought a cabin in recent years. Knowing he died here; they deduced the key must be here also and began searching. They found the key on a hook inside a cardboard door, intended to be hidden from any casual visitor but not inaccessible. Memorising the address from the paperwork, they destroyed any paperwork that might lead the children from finding the cabin prematurely. The agents went to a vehicle rental company, hired a car so they could set off for the cabin.
Arriving at the cabin in the dead of night, after navigating some rough country roads for several hours, the agents calculated what to do next. Palmer decided to case the outside of the house and report back. He found a well, a well pump, power connecting to the house, an outhouse, and a shed. Reporting back the agents tentatively entered the cabin with the key and turned on the lights. A quick inspection showed that this cabin was more “lived in” than the apartment. Looking around the bathroom, the agents noticed the plumbing had been reconfigured in an odd manner. Flushing the toilet caused water to erupt out of the kitchen sink. Kurtz and Palmer decided to investigate the well, the pump and anything plumbing related. While they did, Schel found a footlocker finding curious items such as a bloody suit, animal hair, infant teeth, a feather with a mystical rainbow shine, tear gas grenades, a letter, and a magnetic orb.
Schel’s understanding how many rules of physics the magnetic orb was breaking caused her to black out. Kurtz and Palmer returned finding nothing wrong with the well but wondering why the outhouse was needed. Finding Schel they rushed to her aid, reviving her. After a brief exchange of findings Schel remembered the letter and they opened together.
The letter was from Clyde. It presumed if reading that he had died and was too cowardly to follow through his final mission. It directed the agents to 20 gallons of gasoline hidden in the shed, pleading with them to pour it into the septic tank and ignite it. Saying that would be happier if they did not look but under no circumstances should his children’s ever see the remains.
The agents find the gasoline as advertised and make their way to the septic tank. Opening the tank enough to put the hose down they hear a cry of desperation. A woman is trapped in the tank, identifying herself as Marlene. Clyde’s wife who had died years ago. Faced with the dilemma, the agents asked for more information. It appears as though four years ago, Marlene became terminally ill, Clyde unable to let go told Marlene of the unnatural events he had witnessed in secret and that he could save her. That he did some Pagan spell, and she began to heal, she thought life would get better. He bought a cabin and said they could retire out there, when she came to look, he trapped her down here and has been keeping her alive in secret. She didn’t know others thought she had died, but she harbours no bad intent now that he’s gone, she just wants to see her kids.
Schel convinced this woman needed their help entertained letting her out, Palmer remained neutral, but Kurtz heeding the letters advice began pouring gasoline.
At that moment Marlene or what was once Marlene jumped with otherworldly force at the lid to the tank, and through luck and tactical placement, Palmer holding the lid was able to block her exit. Wary of the strength the lid was braced further, so the creature tried to bargain. Identifying as the Other, a creature that inhabits the bodies of others when their souls move on. Clyde had not saved Marlene, she died and the Other took her place. Retaining memories and the emotional strings to pull the Other thought it had Clyde fooled until he trapped her down here. However Clyde could not destroy her, and so they did the dance until Clyde died and the agents arrived. The Other offered unnatural knowledge in exchange for freedom, Palmer entertained it but Kurtz stayed steady on the gasoline as Schel’s world was shaken. The Other offered lucrative windows into untapped psychic potential for Palmer and as he was ready to discuss the potential with the team Kurtz through the match in removing the Other from this plane… for now.
Considering the apartment clear and the cabin sanitised, the agents met with Stephen to confirm evidence of the unnatural was found at the cabin, protocol had been violated with Marlene and handing the letter over. Asked if “it” was handled, the agents confirmed it was but omitted any interaction with the creature, preferring the narrative the followed the letter perfectly.
Stephen took the unnatural items for Delta Green inspection before allowing the agents to keep. His farewell to the agents were, I always hope there will be no next time, but unfortunately agents there will be a next time, until then live your lives as best you can.

I was walking around the neighbourhood and a Scrapper cycles by pulling a waggon of rubble, who then turned into the alley and his backyard halfway down
As I was passing by, he cycled back (without his waggon ) holding a metal putter and started yelling at me
"Tu prends mes photos, hein?? Pourquoi tu nous photographe ???"
Hein? Quoi? Non - regard - took out my phone to show him I have no pictures of him
At the same time I ducked into a back driveway where two people where backing out with their car whom yelled to get out of the way
I indicated to them "I'd like to, but Look - this man is coming at me with a Gold club!"
Crazy old MFker with no teeth : "Huh... Non... Je rangeais ma scrap."
People in the car "Oh, yeah, him, he isn't right in the head, he's like that. Stay safe."
Crazy mfker went back to his place
Car people left
No, I did not file a Police report, he wasn't in his backyard and I couldn't tell where he came out of.
[ADDED] I'm a dude, I choose Bear.

I stepped through the double sliding doors and then into an office that almost seemed to be shouting at me.
There were Crusher Media posters everywhere as well as newspaper articles photocopied and then expanded 100 times to fill whole walls. There wasn't a patch of wall, flooring or coffee mug that didn't proclaim Crusher Media's greatness.
And right at the centre of it, like a god in the middle of his newly created universe, was Richard Balls.
The man looked much shorter than he did in his pictures and he had a slight bald spot at the back of his head that wasn't shown in any of the photographs that coated the walls. But when I looked past those things I saw the grinning teeth of the coyote just before it eats you for lunch and the laser-like eyes of a shark-eagle-snake-bat-octopus-killer-whale-hybrid.
'Mr Hill' he said in a deep, polished voice, 'Take a seat. Have you met each other?'
The woman sitting opposite him didn't even turn her head but instantly I knew it was her - Lazy Cultivator. Brown, half-brushed hair and a pair of glasses she probably used for burning whole villages of ants on her off days. I sat without saying a word.
The chair was a piece of shite. The way it was angled made me sit up straight, and the base was rock-hard. It took half my mind off the conversation that followed. No doubt a man of Richard Balls status and wealth would have no problem purchasing a decent chair so obviously, it was some sort of intimidation tactic. To be fair, the joke was on him, I'd spent a good portion of my recent life either in homeless shelters or cooped up in a grey concrete prison without so much is a pillow to ease my pain.
'Eli.' Mr Balls said, 'Well done on making it this far. I have to say I was a little...' he licked his lips, '...apprehensive about your story to begin with. Non-fiction, or at least hyper-inflated non-fiction isn't the sort of thing we usually do here at Crusher Books. But since the beginning of this company, I've always said give the customers what they want. And so if people want your book then we’ll damn well give it to them. But Mr Hill, my advice for you would be don't bite the hand that feeds you.'
He narrowed his eyes at me like he was trying to take a shit on his brown leather chair.
'Now...' a business-like grin appearing on Balls’ face, 'I brought the two of you here today to talk about this “beef” between yourselves and perhaps more importantly between your fans.’
Lazy Cultivator rolled her eyes 'Mr Balls I would not call this...' she gestured to me, ‘...a beef, this guy, he's been obsessed with me, constantly writing and fantasizing about getting more reads than me, writing about weird, boxing fuelled dreams. I gave him a small mention, he's obsessed, this is very much a one-way street and a one-person problem.’
I frowned, 'That's not the way I-'
‘-That's exactly the way it's been happening.’ she said, 'You, you're obsessed, you seem to think you're the Moriarty to my Sherlock Holmes, but in reality, you're just the cab driver who thinks he can do what I do because he's read a few books. You can't do half the things I've done, Mr Hill.'
Balls watched this all go on and I swear he didn't really hear a single thing we said. The only sound in his ears was the cha-ching cha-ching of money falling into his pockets. 'You see,' Mr Balls said, 'I love your passion, both of you are so passionate about what you do. That is what makes...' he gestured to Lazy Cultivator '...your work the most read work of literature of any living author.'
Then he pointed to me 'And you Mister Hill, trying to take on an almost godlike figure of our time. That is something to be commended. That is something I myself faced when I was getting started,' then he held out his hands, 'And look at where I am now. The reason why I succeeded is I was prepared to do things other companies would not do and I was prepared to carry out experiments and take risks that other companies could never take.'
He laced his fingers together. 'And that is why I want the two of you to keep up this...' he raised his fingers again, '...“beef”. Over the last 18 hours, Lazy Cultivator, your story more than tripled its daily read count. Mr Hill...' he laughed, '...your results are even more impressive. You have achieved 40 times your daily read count. 40 times Mr Hill and that's after just a single mention from your good friend Lazy Cultivator,'
He clicked his teeth, 'And the plus of all this is more money for the company and for you.' Lazy Cultivator didn't say a thing. She seemed to be almost shimmering like she was going to go super saiyan. I was just glad I wasn't going to be executed or forced to shave an apology into the back of my head or something like that.
An insanely high-definition hologram on Balls’ desk flared to life and gave a little ding. Mr Balls nodded to it, 'That's all the time I had for the two of you today.' He licked his lips, 'But I've enjoyed this, it's not often I get to meet with the farmers who grow the produce we sell at this business.'
He pointed to Lazy Cultivator 'That one's a metaphor.' She gave a slow groan-like nod, 'Very good Mr. Balls.' And he laughed, 'Anyway that's the time I have free today but let's do this again. Don and Marty will show the two of you out.'
We left Balls' office and honestly I felt good. I was there with the best damn writer in the world and just spoken to the CEO of the largest private company in the world, never mind the fact that it was also the company that had held me hostage for what was probably coming up two years. I flicked a glance at Lazy Cultivator. She seemed extremely disinterested in me, I bit my lip, 'So it was like really good to meet you. And sorry about everything I wrote.'
She glared at me, we were in a little waiting area just outside Mr Balls’ office with a table, plush chairs, and a quarter-filled jug of water. One of the security guards, I couldn't remember their names, peeked out us from behind the window. He had a phone in one hand and held up his other hand to us with five fingers spread out. Five minutes he mouthed to us.
I nodded and the guy gave a thumbs up and went back to his conversation.
'I don't care about you.' Lazy Cultivator said, 'The moment I'm out of this room you will be out of my mind, hopefully forever.' She pulled a purple pill bottle from her jacket and flicked the lid with a deft, practised motion. She put a pill between her teeth, crunched it, and swallowed it down. She grabbed the almost empty glass jar of water and poured it into two glasses so all the water was gone.
'The thing is, Richard wants us to have beef. The more beef we have, the more money we make. Creating beef is like creating drama in stories. You've got to have pacing. You've got to have high points, low points...' she held the jar in her hand, ‘And most importantly... escalation. If nothing escalates, well chances are your story's going to be a little dry.'
She rolled her eyes, 'But why am I telling you; a b-class hack all this, well I guess it's just an example of foreshadowing. If you were a writer, a proper writer, you would have seen this coming.’
She swung the glass jug full force into the side of my head. It was one of those fancy, thin walled ones. And it smashed into a hundred pieces as it came in contact with the bumpy parts of my skull. Instantly the pain knifed through my head, down my spine, and back up again in the form of a string of drool. My eyes watered and I spun in a slow circle onto the ground where more glass awaited me like a little goose feather pillow. All those cuts started leaking blood. I guess it must have looked kind of dramatic because the security guard on the phone had ended his call and was running over to me. A couple of Balls' secretaries arrived with wet towels and even Balls himself made a brief appearance to laugh and to slap Lazy Cultivator on the back, 'That's the sort of thing I'm talking about.’ he said, then he winked at me, 'Just don't kill each other.'
Balls left to go back to whatever meeting me being beaten over the head had interrupted. And all through this Lazy Cultivator, just sat there, tablet in hand, typing out her next chapter.

Explore the natural wonders of the Grand Canyon, Zion, Bryce, Monument Valley, and Antelope Canyon on a private 3-day tour with expert guides, tailored itineraries, and luxurious accommodations.

Introduction to the Private 3-Day Tour

Embarking on a private 3-day tour of the Grand Canyon, Zion, Bryce, Monument Valley, and Antelope Canyon offers a unique and exclusive opportunity to explore some of the most breathtaking natural wonders in the Southwest USA. Expert guides accompany travelers, providing valuable insights into the geological, historical, and cultural significance of each location, enriching the overall experience. The allure of this private tour lies in the meticulously curated itinerary that showcases the best of each destination, ensuring a memorable journey filled with awe-inspiring landscapes and unique adventures.
The private tour allows for flexibility in customizing the itinerary to suit individual preferences, making it an ideal choice for those seeking a more tailored and personalized exploration of these iconic landmarks. For example, travelers can opt for activities like helicopter rides over the Grand Canyon, Navajo-guided jeep tours in Monument Valley, or immersive experiences in Antelope Canyon, adding a touch of exclusivity to their adventure. This level of customization ensures that each traveler can make the most of their trip by participating in activities that resonate with their interests, creating a truly unforgettable experience.
Moreover, the private tour offers a more intimate setting compared to standard group tours, allowing for a deeper connection with the natural surroundings and a heightened sense of exclusivity. With small group sizes, travelers can enjoy a more serene and personal exploration of these natural wonders, away from the crowds often encountered in larger tour groups. This exclusivity not only enhances the overall experience but also allows for more meaningful interactions with the guides, who can cater to the specific needs and interests of each traveler, ensuring a truly immersive and unforgettable journey.
Check out the full details of this tour here or book now.
Original Article: https://elite-adventures.com/all-offers/f/discover-the-southwest-an-exclusive-3-day-tour

Day 1: Exploring the Grand Canyon

Embark on an unforgettable adventure as you begin your journey with an in-depth exploration of the Grand Canyon. Marvel at the sheer magnificence of this geological masterpiece that has been sculpted over millions of years through the relentless forces of erosion and sedimentation. As you stand on the rim of the canyon, the layers of rock tell a captivating story of the Earth's history, each stratum a chapter in the canyon's evolution.
Venture into the realm of the Grand Canyon's wildlife, where you may encounter fascinating creatures that call this vast expanse home. Keep your eyes peeled for sightings of the iconic California condors, a critically endangered species that has found sanctuary within the canyon's walls. Observing these majestic birds soaring high above the rugged terrain is a poignant reminder of the delicate balance of nature and the need for conservation efforts to protect such unique species.
The formation of the Grand Canyon is an intriguing process that involves various geological factors. The Colorado River, which flows through the canyon, has played a significant role in shaping its landscape over millions of years. Erosion caused by the continuous flow of water has carved out the intricate network of canyons and cliffs that define the Grand Canyon's iconic scenery. Understanding the geological forces at work in the creation of this natural wonder adds a layer of appreciation for the vast timescales and processes involved in shaping the Earth's surface.

Day 2: Immersing in Zion National Park

As day two commences, visitors are greeted by the awe-inspiring rock formations that make Zion National Park a geological wonderland. The park boasts towering sandstone cliffs, sculpted over millions of years by the forces of nature, creating a visual masterpiece that leaves all who visit in absolute wonder. One of the most iconic features, the Zion Canyon, showcases the power and beauty of erosion, offering a glimpse into the Earth's intricate history and geological processes.
Beyond its geological allure, Zion National Park holds deep cultural significance for various Native American tribes, including the Paiute, Southern Paiute, and Ute. These tribes have long-standing connections to the land, viewing it not just as a natural wonder but as a spiritual sanctuary. Visitors have the opportunity to learn about the rich traditions and beliefs intertwined with the park's landscapes, gaining a newfound appreciation for the harmonious relationship between nature and indigenous cultures.
For those seeking an adrenaline rush or a moment of tranquility, Zion National Park offers a spectrum of experiences. From the exhilarating heights of Angel's Landing, where daring hikers are rewarded with panoramic views, to the peaceful serenity of the Riverside Walk along the Virgin River, each trail presents a unique opportunity to connect with nature on a profound level. Whether it's the challenge of conquering a steep ascent or the solace found in the gentle rustling of leaves, Zion caters to adventurers and contemplators alike, ensuring a memorable and immersive experience.
Zion National Park is not only a haven for outdoor enthusiasts but also a hotspot for biodiversity. The park is home to a diverse range of plant and animal species, including the iconic desert bighorn sheep and the rare Zion snail. Exploring the park's varied ecosystems provides visitors with a deeper understanding of the interconnectedness of life within this unique environment. From the desert scrublands to the lush riverbanks, Zion National Park showcases the resilience and beauty of nature in its purest form, offering a sanctuary for both wildlife and humans to coexist in harmony.

Day 3: Unveiling Bryce Canyon and Monument Valley

As the journey continues on day three, travelers are greeted by the mesmerizing beauty of Bryce Canyon, a geological wonderland filled with intricate hoodoos and natural amphitheaters. These unique rock formations, sculpted by wind and water over millions of years, create a breathtaking landscape that is a photographer's paradise and a hiker's dream. Visitors can marvel at the vibrant hues of the rocks, ranging from reds and oranges to pinks and whites, all illuminated by the sun in a spectacular display of nature's artistry.
Moving forward to Monument Valley, explorers are immersed in the spiritual essence of this iconic destination. Home to the Navajo Nation, Monument Valley holds deep cultural significance, resonating with ancient traditions and stories passed down through generations. The towering sandstone buttes and mesas stand as silent witnesses to the rich history of the land, inviting travelers to connect with the earth and appreciate the raw beauty of the desert. As visitors traverse the valley, they can envision scenes from classic western movies that were filmed against the backdrop of these majestic formations, truly understanding why this location has become a symbol of the American West.
Monument Valley's unique landscape has captivated artists, photographers, and filmmakers for decades. Its striking rock formations and vast desert vistas have served as the backdrop for numerous movies, commercials, and music videos, making it an iconic symbol of the American Southwest. The valley's timeless beauty and rugged terrain have inspired generations of creatives to capture its essence on film and canvas, showcasing its enduring allure and cultural significance on a global scale. Exploring Monument Valley allows visitors to step into the scenes of their favorite films and immerse themselves in the cinematic history of this legendary location.

Antelope Canyon Experience, a Photographer's Paradise

On the last day of this extraordinary tour, travelers will have the opportunity to immerse themselves in the enchanting beauty of both Upper and Lower Antelope Canyon. As sunlight filters through the narrow openings above, creating a play of light and shadow on the wavelike sandstone walls, visitors are presented with a photographer's paradise. The interplay of colors and textures within the canyon's walls offers a unique and mesmerizing experience, making it a must-visit destination for photography enthusiasts looking to capture nature's artistry in a frame.
Delving deeper into the geological wonder that is Antelope Canyon, the tour will provide insights into how the canyon was sculpted over thousands of years by the relentless forces of flash floods. Understanding the intricate process that carved out these intricate slot canyons adds a layer of appreciation for the natural forces that have shaped this breathtaking landscape. As travelers bid farewell to the Southwest USA, they take with them not only stunning photographs but also a newfound respect for the power and beauty of nature's creations, ensuring that the memories of this unique experience will last a lifetime.
Antelope Canyon's popularity as a photography destination has grown exponentially in recent years, attracting visitors from around the world eager to capture its ethereal beauty. The canyon's narrow passageways and swirling rock formations create a dynamic interplay of light and shadow that changes throughout the day, offering endless opportunities for unique and captivating photos. Professional photographers and amateurs alike flock to Antelope Canyon to test their skills in capturing the play of colors and shapes that define this natural wonder, resulting in a diverse array of images that showcase the canyon's splendor from different perspectives. Exploring Antelope Canyon is not just a visual feast but a creative journey that challenges photographers to see the world through a new lens and appreciate the artistry of nature's design.

Inclusions and Exclusions in the Tour Package

When embarking on the private 3-day tour of the Grand Canyon, Zion, Bryce, Monument Valley, and Antelope Canyon, travelers can expect a comprehensive package that covers various aspects of their journey. The tour includes comfortable accommodations, ensuring a restful stay after exhilarating days of exploration. Whether it's cozy lodgings or camping under the starlit skies, the tour provides options to suit different preferences, adding a touch of adventure to the experience. Additionally, meals are an integral part of the tour, offering a diverse culinary journey that ranges from sampling local delicacies to enjoying picnic lunches at scenic viewpoints. This not only nourishes the body but also enhances the overall travel experience by immersing participants in the regional flavors.
Moreover, the tour caters to individual preferences with a selection of optional activities available to enhance the overall adventure. Travelers have the opportunity to customize their experience by opting for activities like helicopter rides or guided tours, adding extra layers of excitement and exploration to their itinerary. By providing these optional add-ons, the tour ensures that each traveler can tailor their experience to align with their interests and comfort levels, making the journey even more memorable and fulfilling. However, it's essential to note that while the tour package is extensive and inclusive, there may be certain exclusions such as some meals, gratuities for tour guides, or additional tours like the Grand Canyon helicopter flight, which can be arranged as extra activities for those seeking a more panoramic view of the iconic landmark.
The accommodation options provided in the tour package cater to a range of preferences, from rustic camping experiences to luxurious lodge stays. For travelers seeking a closer connection to nature, camping under the starlit skies of Bryce Canyon or Monument Valley offers a unique and immersive experience. On the other hand, those looking for a more upscale retreat can opt for boutique lodges or resorts that provide comfort and convenience after a day of exploration. The diverse range of accommodation choices ensures that each traveler can find their ideal retreat, enhancing the overall journey through the Southwest USA.

Benefits of Opting for a Private Tour

When selecting a private 3-day tour to explore the wonders of Grand Canyon, Zion, Bryce, Monument Valley, and Antelope Canyon, several advantages come with this exclusive experience. One key benefit is the personalized touch that a private tour offers. With a smaller group size, travelers can enjoy a more intimate setting, allowing for a deeper connection with the natural beauty of each destination. Unlike larger group tours, a private tour provides the flexibility to tailor the itinerary to individual preferences, ensuring that participants can spend more time at locations that resonate with them the most. For instance, if a guest is particularly interested in photography, the guide can allocate extra time for capturing the perfect shot at iconic spots like Antelope Canyon with optimal lighting conditions.
Moreover, the luxury and exclusivity of a private tour elevate the overall experience. From premium transportation to handpicked accommodations, private tours often incorporate high-quality services to enhance comfort and convenience throughout the journey. Imagine unwinding after a day of exploration in a lavish lodge overlooking the breathtaking landscapes of Bryce Canyon or savoring a gourmet meal under the starlit sky of Monument Valley. These upscale amenities contribute to a memorable and indulgent travel experience that sets private tours apart from standard group excursions. Travelers can relish in the exclusivity of private access to stunning locations and personalized attention from expert guides, creating unforgettable moments in some of the most awe-inspiring natural settings in the Southwest USA.
Traveling in a small, intimate group on a private tour not only allows for a more personalized experience but also fosters a sense of camaraderie among fellow travelers. Sharing the wonders of the Grand Canyon, Zion, Bryce, Monument Valley, and Antelope Canyon with like-minded individuals creates a bond that enhances the overall journey. Whether it's swapping stories around a campfire under the starlit sky or embarking on a challenging hike together, the shared experiences on a private tour forge connections that can last a lifetime. The intimate setting of a private tour cultivates a sense of community and friendship, turning strangers into travel companions and creating memories that will be cherished for years to come.

Customer Testimonials and Reviews

Travelers who have embarked on the private 3-day tour of Grand Canyon, Zion, Bryce, Monument Valley, and Antelope Canyon have shared glowing testimonials about their experiences. One satisfied customer, Sarah, described the tour as a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to witness the natural wonders of the Southwest USA up close. She particularly enjoyed the personalized attention from the knowledgeable guides, who shared fascinating insights about the geological formations and cultural significance of each location. Sarah mentioned that the flexibility of the private tour allowed her to spend more time at places that piqued her interest, such as capturing the sunrise at Bryce Canyon for a truly magical experience.
Another guest, John, praised the convenience of having all arrangements taken care of, from accommodation to meals, making the journey hassle-free and enjoyable. He highlighted the seamless transition between destinations and the comfortable lodging provided, which added a touch of luxury to the rugged outdoor experience. John also appreciated the opportunity to engage in optional activities like a helicopter ride over the Grand Canyon, enhancing his overall adventure. These testimonials underscore the high level of customer satisfaction and the unforgettable memories created during the private tour.
Moreover, Jenna shared how the small group setting of the private tour fostered a sense of camaraderie among fellow travelers, creating a warm and friendly atmosphere throughout the journey. She mentioned that the intimate group size allowed for meaningful interactions with the guides, who shared captivating stories about the history and folklore of the Southwest USA. Jenna particularly enjoyed the picnic lunches at scenic viewpoints, where she could savor local cuisine while taking in the breathtaking landscapes. These testimonials reflect the unique blend of exclusivity, comfort, and adventure that defines the private 3-day tour experience.

Booking Details and Reservation Process

Booking a private 3-day tour of the Grand Canyon, Zion, Bryce, Monument Valley, and Antelope Canyon is a straightforward process that ensures a seamless and memorable travel experience. To secure your spot on this exclusive journey, you can easily book online through reputable platforms or contact the tour operators directly via the provided contact details. The booking process typically involves selecting your preferred travel dates, indicating the number of participants in your group, and choosing any optional add-ons you may be interested in, such as helicopter rides or guided tours. It is advisable to book well in advance, especially during peak seasons, to guarantee availability due to the tour's popularity.
Additionally, travelers are encouraged to pay attention to any specific requirements or considerations when making their reservation for the private tour. These requirements may include limitations on group sizes, seasonal availability of certain activities, or any special accommodations needed during the trip. By being aware of these details during the booking process, you can ensure that your travel needs are met and that you have a clear understanding of what to expect throughout the 3-day exploration of these iconic natural landmarks. The tour operators are readily available to assist with any inquiries or special requests, making the booking process efficient and tailored to your preferences for a truly personalized adventure in the Southwest USA.
When booking a private tour, it's essential to consider the logistics of the journey, such as the transportation provided during the tour. Private tours often include comfortable and air-conditioned vehicles that offer a smooth and scenic ride between destinations. Whether traversing the rugged terrain of Monument Valley or cruising along the scenic routes to Zion and Bryce Canyon, the transportation provided ensures a stress-free and enjoyable travel experience. Additionally, the tour operators may offer pickup and drop-off services from designated locations, further enhancing the convenience and accessibility of the private tour package.

Insider Tips for Maximizing the Tour Experience

When embarking on the private 3-day tour of Grand Canyon, Zion, Bryce, Monument Valley, and Antelope Canyon, there are several insider tips that can help enhance your overall experience. Firstly, consider visiting the Grand Canyon during the early morning or late afternoon to witness the breathtaking sunrise or sunset, casting a golden glow over the majestic canyon walls. This magical lighting provides optimal conditions for capturing stunning photographs that truly encapsulate the beauty of this natural wonder.
Exploring the hidden gems of Zion National Park can be enhanced by venturing off the beaten path and discovering lesser-known trails and viewpoints. For example, the Canyon Overlook Trail offers a panoramic vista of Zion Canyon that is less crowded than popular hikes like Angel's Landing. By seeking out these quieter spots, travelers can enjoy a more serene and intimate connection with the park's stunning landscapes, away from the hustle and bustle of the main attractions. Engaging with the local guides during these explorations can also provide valuable insights into the park's history and ecology, enriching the overall journey through Zion National Park.
Lastly, when delving into the unique rock formations of Bryce Canyon and the iconic landscapes of Monument Valley, seize the opportunity to interact with the local guides and residents. These encounters can provide valuable insights into the history and traditions of the Navajo Nation, deepening your appreciation for the cultural significance of these sites. By engaging with the local community, you can gain a deeper understanding of the spiritual connection they have to the land, creating a more profound and meaningful travel experience.
By following these insider tips and immersing yourself in the rich tapestry of natural beauty and cultural heritage offered by each destination, you can make the most of your private tour and create lasting memories that will stay with you long after the journey ends.

Focus on Sustainable Tourism and Environmental Conservation

When embarking on the private 3-day tour of Grand Canyon, Zion, Bryce, Monument Valley, and Antelope Canyon, it's essential to appreciate the significance of sustainable tourism and environmental conservation in these pristine natural areas. Sustainable tourism involves minimizing the impact of travel on the environment while supporting local communities and preserving the cultural heritage of the region. By choosing a private tour that emphasizes responsible travel practices, visitors can actively contribute to the long-term protection of these iconic destinations.
One exemplary initiative that showcases sustainable tourism is the use of eco-friendly transportation options during the tour. For instance, opting for hybrid or electric vehicles reduces carbon emissions and minimizes the ecological footprint on the fragile ecosystems of the Southwest USA. Additionally, supporting locally-owned accommodations and businesses along the route promotes economic growth within the community while fostering a deeper connection between travelers and the destination. By adhering to Leave No Trace principles, such as packing out trash and respecting wildlife habitats, visitors can ensure that future generations can also enjoy the natural beauty of the Grand Canyon, Zion, Bryce, Monument Valley, and Antelope Canyon.
Another aspect to consider is the conservation of water sources and energy during the tour. Tour operators can implement strategies like using water refill stations to reduce single-use plastic waste and promoting energy-efficient practices in accommodations to lessen the environmental impact. By educating travelers about the importance of conservation efforts in these sensitive environments, the private tour not only provides a memorable experience but also instills a sense of responsibility towards preserving the natural wonders for years to come. Sustainable tourism is not just a concept but a collective responsibility to safeguard the beauty and integrity of these remarkable landscapes for future generations to enjoy.
Check out the full details of this tour here or book now.
Recent Articles:
Luxury and Heritage: Journey from Cancun to Tulum
Emerald Cave: A Guide to Kayak Tours on the Colorado River

Avalon sat on the edge of her bed, glaring at the pile of books on her desk. It was another school day, another day to be reminded that she was living in the shadow of her mother. She pulled on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, her expression sour as she struggled to find the motivation to start her day. The morning light filtered through her window, casting a soft glow that did little to improve her mood.
She stood in front of the mirror, brushing her hair with quick, irritated strokes. As she looked at her reflection, she couldn't help but see traces of her mother in her own features—the same dark hair, the same piercing blue eyes. But where her mother exuded confidence and grace, Avalon felt awkward and inadequate. She frowned at her reflection, trying to tame a particularly stubborn strand of hair.
Downstairs, her mother was in a rush, juggling her phone, keys, and a stack of files. Avalon's mother, a private investigator, was always busy, always on the move, solving other people's problems while Avalon's own needs seemed to go unnoticed. The kitchen was a far cry from the cozy, breakfast-laden haven that other kids might enjoy. Instead, a box of toaster waffles sat on the counter, and the toaster was already running.
"Avalon, grab your waffle and let's go! I'm running late," her mother called, barely glancing up from her phone as she juggled multiple tasks at once. Avalon's mother was a whirlwind of competence and efficiency, effortlessly managing her demanding job. Avalon, in contrast, felt like a perpetual disappointment, always one step behind, always failing to live up to the high expectations set by her mother's legacy.
Avalon grabbed a waffle from the toaster, not bothering to sit down. She took a bite as she slung her backpack over one shoulder, her face set in a scowl. Her mother was already at the door, ushering her and the neighbor's daughter, Harper, out of the house. Harper was everything Avalon wasn't; bright, bubbly, and always eager to please. Avalon had long since stopped trying to compete with Harper's relentless cheerfulness.
"Morning, Ms. Fletcher!" Harper chirped as she skipped to the car.
"Good morning, Harper," Avalon's mother replied, her smile bright and automatic. "Are you excited for school today?"
"Yes, Ms. Fletcher! We're learning about the solar system in science class," Harper replied enthusiastically. Avalon rolled her eyes and climbed into the car, slumping in her seat.
In the car, her mother attempted to engage her in small talk. "So, Avalon, how's your ballet practice going? Do you have any performances coming up?"
"I don't know," Avalon muttered, staring out the window. Harper, sitting beside her, was all too happy to fill the silence.
"I'm really excited about ballet practice today, Ms. Fletcher," Harper said. "Avalon is so good at it, she really inspired me to join."
Avalon's grip on her backpack tightened. This was supposed to be her thing, the one area where she could shine without her mother's shadow looming over her. Now, Harper was encroaching on that too. When they finally pulled up to the school, Avalon was out of the car before it had fully stopped, not bothering to say goodbye.
"Ava, wait up!" Harper called, hurrying after her. "Are you coming to ballet practice after school? My mom can drop us off." Avalon stopped in her tracks, turning to face Harper with a scowl. "Why did you even join? You never even talked about it before I started."
Harper's eyes lit up. "Oh, you seem to enjoy it so I wanted to do it too!" Avalon felt a surge of anger and frustration. "Ugh," she groaned, turning sharply and heading towards her classroom.
The school was an old building, its walls lined with photographs and trophies commemorating past students' achievements. Many of them featured her mother, smiling and victorious. The teachers, most of whom had taught her mother, often commented on the resemblance, the potential, and the expectations.
In class, Avalon felt the weight of those comparisons. Mrs. Hartley, her history teacher, paused by her desk. "Avalon, have you considered joining the debate team? Your mother was quite the debater in her day."
Avalon clenched her fists under the desk. "No, I'm not interested," she replied curtly.
Mrs. Hartley’s eyebrows shot up. “No need to be rude, Avalon. It’s just a suggestion.”
“Well, maybe you should stop suggesting things,” Avalon snapped. “I’m not my mother.” The classroom fell silent, and Mrs. Hartley gave her a stern look. “See me after class, Avalon.”
Throughout the day, the same pattern repeated. Teachers and students alike seemed to see her not as Avalon, but as a pale imitation of her mother. Even when she tried to express herself, it was overshadowed by the constant reminders of her mother's accomplishments. By the time lunch rolled around, Avalon was seething with anger and frustration. She picked at her food, her appetite gone as she watched the other students chatter and laugh. Harper, the neighbor and sometimes friend, sat down beside her with a bright smile.
"Hey, Ava, what's up?" Harper asked, unwrapping her sandwich.
Avalon sighed, pushing her food around her tray. "Nothing much," she replied, her tone flat. Harper frowned, sensing Avalon's mood. "You seem kind of down. Is everything okay?"
Avalon shrugged, avoiding Harper's gaze. "It's nothing, really. Just some stuff," she replied vaguely, hoping to brush off the conversation.
But Harper wasn't so easily deterred. "Come on, Ava, you can tell me. We're friends, right?" Avalon hesitated for a moment, then sighed, realizing that Harper wouldn't drop it. "Do you have to copy everything I do?"
Harper recoiled, hurt flashing in her eyes. "What are you talking about?"
"Ballet! That's my thing, and now you're trying to take it from me," Avalon accused, her voice rising with frustration.
Harper looked stunned, her sandwich forgotten. "I just wanted to spend more time with you," she said softly, her eyes pleading for understanding. I just thought it would be something fun for us to do together," she explained, her voice gentle and sincere.
Avalon bristled at Harper's attempt to diffuse the situation. "Yeah, well, maybe I don't want to do things with you," she snapped, her anger flaring up once again as she stood up abruptly and stormed out of the cafeteria.
She knew she had been harsh, unnecessarily so. Harper was just trying to be nice, reaching out in her own way, and Avalon had snapped at her without a second thought. But the anger bubbling inside her had clouded her judgment, leaving her unable to see past her own frustrations. She hated feeling this way, lashing out at people who didn't deserve it, but it seemed like anger was the only defense mechanism she had against the constant onslaught of inferiority.
The rest of the day was a blur. Avalon couldn't concentrate in her classes, her mind racing with a mix of guilt and frustration. She had acted out, and now she had to face the consequences. She knew she would be in trouble, but part of her didn't care.
As the final bell rang, Avalon made her way to the principal's office, her heart heavy. She knew her mother would be called, and there would be another lecture about her behavior, about living up to expectations.
In the office, the principal, Mr. Thompson, looked at her with a mixture of disappointment and concern. "Avalon, this behavior is becoming a pattern. We need to find a way to help you channel your emotions more constructively." Avalon nodded numbly, knowing that whatever solution they came up with, it wouldn't change the fundamental problem.
Avalon sat in the principal's office, her hands clenched in her lap, her expression guarded. She could feel her mother's presence even before she entered the room—a combination of the click-clack of her heels and the faint scent of her perfume.
Camellia Fletcher entered the office with a brisk stride, her eyes narrowing slightly when she saw Avalon sitting there. She took a seat beside her daughter, her posture rigid and professional. The principal cleared his throat and began the conversation. "Ms. Fletcher, I'm sure you're aware of the incident that occurred today involving Avalon."
Camellia nodded, her expression unreadable. "I'm listening."
Mr. Thompson glanced at Avalon before continuing. "Avalon has been acting out lately, showing defiance towards her teachers and classmates. We're concerned about Avalon's behavior and the impact it's having on her academic performance and social relationships,"
Camellia sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. "I understand. This is not the first time we've had this conversation."
Avalon bristled at her mother's words, feeling a surge of resentment bubbling up inside her. She wanted to defend herself, to tell her mother that it wasn't fair, but she remained silent, knowing it would only make things worse.
"We need to find a way to address Avalon's issues before they escalate further," Mr. Thompson said, his gaze shifting between mother and daughter.
Camellia nodded, her expression grim. "I agree. I'll talk to Avalon at home, see if we can get to the bottom of what's been bothering her."
As they left the office, Avalon kept her eyes fixed on the ground. Camellia turned to Avalon with a stern expression. "Harper's mom already took her to practice, and I won't have time to drive you there today. I need to hurry back to work."
Avalon nodded silently, her heart sinking as she realized she would have to miss ballet practice yet again. As they drove back home, the atmosphere in the car was tense, the silence heavy with unspoken words. Avalon stared out the window, her mind buzzing with thoughts of frustration.
"We'll talk about this when I get home, okay sweetheart?" Her mother said as she pulled up in front of their house, her tone soft. concern etched on her face. Avalon couldn't wait to escape the suffocating tension. She hastily unbuckled her seatbelt and flung open the car door, practically sprinting towards the front door. Without a backward glance, she slammed the door shut behind her, the sound echoing through the empty hallway.
Racing up the stairs to her room, Avalon didn't bother to greet the emptiness of the house. She pushed open her bedroom door with a forceful shove, causing it to rebound against the wall with a loud thud.
Throwing her backpack onto the floor in frustration, Avalon collapsed onto her bed face down, burying her face into the softness of her pillow. Hot tears stung her eyes as the weight of her emotions finally overwhelmed her.
Feeling utterly defeated and alone, she let out a muffled sob into the fabric of her pillow, her body trembling with suppressed anger and sadness. It was a familiar routine—one she had become all too accustomed to in her young life. Yet, despite her best efforts to push them away, the tears continued to fall, each one a silent testament to the overwhelming sense of mediocrity that seemed to define her existence.

Hey, been writing this for a while. Got a dozen chapters at the moment. All of whom are interviews from veterans after a global war between humanity and aliens.
The premise is that after a short conflict/flashpoint between NATO and Russia in the baltics, that region becomes incredibly militarized as both sides pile up army units preparing for an inevitable conflict in the near future. Then you have meteors hitting Lithuania and Latvia. Which turns out were carrying an unknown Alien race which attempted to desperately colonize earth after their home planet was rendered inhabitable.
This is but one of the chapters. Fyi when they refer to crabs, they are talking about the alien cannon fodder units, 1 to 3m tall bipedal beings that have the face of crustaceans.
Feel free to give me any criticism you'd like. This is just a taste of what I'm working, if people are interested I will share more.

November 2034, Gdansk. European Federation

Pzschemek courteously welcomes me into his apartment, gently balancing his half-asleep young boy in one arm as he opens the door. The 34th floor of this public housing tower was completed just a year ago. As a combat veteran, the governement paid half of the price on the already affordable apartment. Since the official end of hostilities and the remarkable population surge, these towering structures, inspired by their Asian counterpart, have sprouted in nearly every remaining major city across the continent. Having seen combat from the start all the way to the end, I was referred to him by the head of the Polish Army Land Forces who was his battalion commander during the start of the war.
I'm offered a seat on the living room sofa, amidst scattered toys and clothes strewn about. He settles across from me, his son peacefully asleep in his arms, after preparing coffee for us.
A veteran of the war, he had seen combat all across Poland as a tank commander.

"When I began my training, we operated with the PT-91, an upgraded Soviet-designed T-72—sturdy, but we viewed them as deathtraps. Just imagine our optimism when my battalion received our first Leopards 2a7. Transitioning from a 1980s Soviet tank to modern german, American and ever Korean tanks—before the war in Ukraine, even entertaining such a notion aloud would have warranted a psychological evaluation. After a year or so. I knew that thing inside and out. It had short comings but it was a beauty.

He points to a frame on the wall—a cutout of a newspaper front page. It depicts him and his other crew members atop their tank ‘Sokoly’ written on its cannon, with a destroyed tripod lying on the floor behind them, the backdrop a sight of a ravaged city. With the title; “Our boys took Vilnius!"
"We made the front page of Gazeta Wyborcza with that picture. Our company commander sent it in. My parents hadn't heard from me in weeks, and one day, he recognized me on the front page at a news stand."
His face lights up with a warm smile.
"We hit the road five hours after the first landings. My vehicle was still getting fueled when I drove into our base, rushing to the briefing room in my jeans and rain jacket. I was expecting orders to be to rush to the Belarusian border or help out our guys in Lithuania to fend of the russians. Instead, our company commander starts talking about visitors from another world, how the info keeps pouring in every minute, but everything's still up in the air. We didn’t believe him until we saw the footage of the meteor landings, or air force footage from the airstrikes on beings we didn’t even know could exist. That one footage from that tank station, those crabs walking in and shooting all those civilians really set us off. That segment where one crab ripped out the arm of a dead man to make sure he was dead must have filled us with hate. Even do we didn’t know who or what they were. We didn’t ask too many questions. You’d expect us to yell out stuff in the likes of “Have we tried to make contact with them? What is the United Nations saying? From what planet are they?” but the only questions that could be heard was “Did the 2-5 tank get its tracks fixed? How much water should we take? Do we get our shells here or the TAA?”
“We were scared don’t get me wrong but I’m still proud of my boys, Its been a while but we still have contact with each other. Last summer I was the best man at my loader’s wedding.”
After laying down his boy, who had just woken up, he watches as the little one instantly grabs a toy police car and starts playing with it. Pzshemek gazes at his son, lost in thought, as he happily engages with his toy.

"We spent five hours on the road, with our tanks hitched onto trucks. When we finally reached our deployment area, chaos was everywhere. The roads were packed with cars from the north—Polish, Lithuanian, even Russian and Belarussian plates. People crammed into buses, I even saw a truck with an empty container but packed with civilians inside. On one van, boys sat on top, like scenes from trains in India. It's a miracle we only arrived an hour late. In Suwalki, we turned an Ikea parking lot into a makeshift FOB. Half of it was filled with troops fresh back from Lithuania and the border. Fresh might not be the right word. They were ravaged, they sat in silences. Nearly all with bandages or injuries of some sorts. The heavily wounded were being treated in tents and civilian ambulances. The dead layed in rows and rows of bodybags. They had commandeered one of or trench building vehicles to dig a mass grave for them. Helicopters landed, unloaded countless men and they loaded the helis to the brim with the injured. Tents and tents of make shift hospitals. More and more troops arrived. They looked like they’ve been to hell. I remember at one time my gaze met one of the men. I was looking around until I saw him looking at me. He was sitting on a stretcher being treated by a paramedic, his chest and arms were burned black. He was staring at me. I don’t know if it was the morphine or the shock, his gaze wouldn’t leave me. Fighter jets kept buzzing us. On our way to bomb targets and to slow the advance of the crabs down as much as they could. I was confident on our way there but the sight of all those defeated man made me want to empty my guts. We got called to a tent to get a briefing on the situation. There was a white board with grainy pictures of what we could expect. Even drawings. It was the Polish military attaché to Lithuania himself who gave the briefing to us. He looked like he had been to hell. I learned later he had to be restrained with the help of punches and shoved into the last helicopter out of Vilnius by his men.”
“What did he discuss?”
"We're in the dark, and we're counting on you to keep us informed as you hold the line. My English doesn't do it justice, but that was the last thing he said before we set out. We knew more different type of enemy assets would emerge as they settled in. Turns out, our drones spotted them digging into the meteors they landed in. As we left the FOB, they were loading everything onto anything with a motor and wheels. They didn't anticipate us holding our ground. Now, that's what I call motivation.”
Our chat got interrupted when Pszemek's wife walking into the apartment, decked out in nurse scrubs and juggling grocery bags. Pszemek jumped up to help her out, and they headed to the hallway, chatting away in Polish. Before she disappeared into the dimly lit bedroom, they stole a quick kiss.
“She has the night shift.” He said coldly as he put away the groceries. “We got on our tanks, our entire company made it and we were lined up platoon by platoon.
I closed the hatch, sat down, put my helmet on. My loader who also was my assistant of sorts. Installed the radios, helped copy the maps our lieutenant got, made coffee or passed drinks. He gave me a thumbs up, it was our signal and it meant we had radio communications with everyone that mattered. I pressed the push to talk of my microphone. “Everyone in position? Sound off!” I tried to say firmly and calmly. I knew back then it wasn’t the time to show any fear to my boys.
“Driver ready!” One voice yelled loudly. “Gunner ready!” followed by “Loader ready!” we set off right after that
At Suwalki we had to hold the highway entering the city from the north. Nothing particular, just fields and roads. We would have excelled there if we faced anything other than that. As dawn broke. The air strikes and artillery lured closer and closer. Along with our reconnaissance elements on the radio notifying us every time they got one kilometer closer. We could just sit there, it took us five minutes to mark and call out points of interests in that field so that we could communicate quickly during the battle and then we counted down the kilometers between us and them. Some men smoked, wrote letters. My gunner, a young guy he must have been 19 back then. He opened the hatch suddenly to vomit outside. Our nerves were all over the place. We nearly shot our recon troops as they speeded through our lines. They rushed through us and took cover behind us. They had done their job warning us and coordinating airstrikes. I told my boys it was our moment to shine. That whatever may walk,run,crawl over the border that we were the Polish anvil set on stopping them. We sat at two kilometers from the first woodline. We had infantry in the woods to our west and east. We had the open fields. We had to stop them or win time for the folks in Suwalki. But this wasn’t Lithuania, Latvia or Estonia. This was Poland. We wouldn’t give them an inch. We all grew up listening to our grandparents talking about what the Nazis and Soviets did to them and to our country.
At first, it was lone crabs on that wood line. They moved from tree to tree. We could see their silhouettes on the thermal sights. As more of those crab joined them we didn’t bother to shoot. We called in the mortar platoon to take care of them. Even after the mortars landed and took care of the first ones, their numbers grew. Then when there mobs of them we called in the 155mm artillery. It turned that forest. We felt the shockwaves as it blasted them. Trees were shredded and their pieces sent hundreds of meter away. Then we heard the first rumble of the beetles. I still have no idea why they didn’t appear on my thermals with all the heat they were carrying inside. If it wasn’t for the dawn and the reflection of the moonlight I might not have seen it until it was on top of me. Those things were as big as an apartment block. I still can't wrap my head around how those beasts survived a journey across galaxies. Must be why they were so darn hard to kill. We had no idea how they fought, how fast they could move. We called them beetles because it was the only thing earth like we could remotely compare them to in shape. I felt my heart race when I switched to normal sight and saw one of them move. I was looking right at it yet it appeared black as the solid on my thermal heat sight. There must have been six of them pushing that field alone. Against twelve of our tanks and three platoon’s worth of infantrymen and IFVs, you'd think we could've held them. But when they carpet-bombed us with fire, everyone lost it. Those beasts opened their mouth as their throat expanded, the fire inside of that could hurt to look at if you watched it with the naked eye. We didn’t know what to expect, but them spitting magma on us wasn’t on our bingo list so to say. Sure, they were two hundred meters short, but everyone outside of tanks must've felt the heat. They fired what could only be described as ropes of magma all in unison. The infantry platoon beside us, even the most ‘gung ho’ grunts who had had time to dig trenches, said ‘fuck that’ did a 180 and sprinted back a few hundred meters. Our platoon commander was swearing up a storm on the radio, trying to get their commander to get his men in order. Can't blame them. We opened fire right after their attempt to cremate us. I told my gunner to aim for the head and fire. Even with the shock of the 122mm armor-piercing shell hitting it, the thing just staggered and kept moving. Even in the tank, with all that armor and my ear protection, I could still hear my colleagues unloading on them. Again and again I ordered my gunner to go for the head. I still don’t know how they survived the kinetic shock alone of a shell like that hitting them. Later on in the war we learned that it gave them those weird types of concussions that made them act all weird, made them even attack their own side and such. But at the time, you can imagine me sitting there looking at them eating a tank shell like it was nothing. One shell hit its upper back. We saw the shell ricochet of its back and fly god knows where in the horizon behind it. My loader was grabbing shells and loading them in the breech at a rythm he could have gotten a medal for that alone. They were getting closer. The beetles and the crabs moving in with them. They spit fire again in unison. This time they were right on the mark. I heard the commander of the tank on my left yell in the radio as his tank ate hot magma. They were safe for now on the inside but the panic it instilled, there was nothing like it. Keep in mind, we still had 155mm artillery landing, it didn’t seem to be bothered by it even do the crabs next to those things were turned into moshed potatoes by the shrapnel and shock blast.
Pszemek got up suddenly to move his kid away from the kitchen as he tried to grab a hold of the hot coffee pot.
“little devil” he said silently.
“When I realized we couldn’t pierce it from the front I ordered by gunner to go for its knee caps. He didn’t hesitate and put its sight on it. The beetle was moving slowly enough for him to aim. My loader, exhausted from carrying shell after shell yelled out “GOTOWY” with a blood curling yell right before my gunner pulled the trigger on the joystick. The ignition on the shell shook the tank as it always did. It’s like a giant punch that makes the whole vehicle jolt backward violently. You can feel the force ripple through the tank, and everything inside shakes for a moment before it steadies again thanks to the suspension. The shell hit it right on the mark. The beast lost its footing. It crashed face-down, crushing a few crabs beneath it who were taking cover under it. It took a few moments for the creature to rise on another leg. Sharp as a fox, my gunner aimed for the first leg on the opposite side and fired another armor piercing shell through the meaty split between its strong carapace. The devil was down. With its front legs disabled, it had no balance. Instinctively, I grabbed the radio. The radio was buzzing with "NO EFFECT ON THE TARGET" and "LIEUTENANT, LET'S GET OUTTA HERE, FOR GOD'S SAKE." I shouted at my colleagues to aim for the kneecaps to slow them down. It got everyone to shut up and focus at the task at hand.



One by one, the beetles crashed in the mud. Don’t get me wrong, they kept shooting their magma at us. My tank got some aswell. It cooked our thermal sights and lazer warning receivers instantly. But since our engine was spared we just had to reverse back twenty meters and we were alright. We were speeding at 30km/h in reverse, I was praying there wouldn’t be a confused 20 year old infantry man end up under our tracks. The beetles were everything but precise. They even hit their own crabs as they desperately spat fire. The amount of which was drastically lower than earlier, their fuel tank just like ours were running low. One brave bastard on the radio yelled out for us to wait for it to fire and then hit it right in the mouth. That’s literally a tactic out of a video game. We did as he told. My gunner was with his sight right on what can be described as its mouth. His knee shaked in anticipation of the shot. I was looking at the gunner sight through my screen. As it opened its mouth, I didn’t even have time to yell “FIRE” that my gunner had already unleashed a high explosive shell down that thing’s throat.”
Pszemek looked at his boy with a warm smile as he thought back at one of the few good events of that fateful night.
“The devil exploded, the flash was so bright it lit up the interior of our tank through the periscopes. For a second I could see the exhausted look on my loader sweaty face. The fire gulf must have taken out god knows how many of the crabs taking shelter near it. My entire platoon followed suit and before long the entire field lit up with the explosions of those devils. I heard later from the folks in Suwalki that they saw the flashes of light all the way back there. One by one we took them out like that.
With the beetles out of the picture, we made quick work of the crabs. They were only five hundred meters away, close enough to start firing. Against our tanks, they didn’t stand a chance. The infantry was less fortunate. I saw one of them fire one of their shoulder mounted cannon, hit an IFV on its side and afterwards I saw the crew throwing themselves out of their vehicle as they burned alive. We took out three-quarters of them before they scrambled back across the field the way they came. Then we picked them off as they ran. Our coaxial gun was working overtime, we barely could keep up reloading that machine gun. I was praying it would’nt jam or overheat. With the last one down and our lieutenant on the radio, praising our performance, I unlocked my hatch, swung it open, and peeked outside. There were still patches of molten magma here and there, and the whole field reeked of sulfur and gunpowder. People were treating the wounded, some men cried, some men were laughing hysterically. Most of them were quiet. I lit up a cigarette, wiping the sweat off my face with a towel. The loader tossed me a can of Monster from our makeshift fridge. I gave him props for his work before he collapsed from exhaustion.

We could have stayed there, all of us would have been happy dying in that field if it meant we slowed their advance into our country. Turns out high command had other plans for us. We held but the units on our flanks were about to break. They had already plans for if ww3 popped off. They already know which unit would be desimated and which would have been spared if the Russians had decided to attack. The worst case scenario had a defensive line from Gdansk through Olsztyn all the way to Bialystok. We had the momentum as we cowardly fled back to Augustow. Stopping time and time again to give time for refugees to flee south. We were glad the Russians in Kaliningrad took a beating. They estimated they held ¾ of the crabs in the southern front. Every fight was harder than the last. We had less and less ammo. Jets were flying less and less. Especially when the crabs found a way to shoot them off the sky.
We felt like cowards every time. Sure we got allot of civilians safe, but even then we felt like we failed despite how many Crabs, Tripods or beetles we stopped.

First Previous Next
Mike marveled at the beauty of the inner city. He was familiar with Kael architecture and had even seen some up close at the university, but it was far grander here than on Earth, and it was far grander in person than in the videos and pictures he'd seen. The buildings were a hybrid of Gothic and expressionist architecture built with classical aesthetics.
Mosaics, statues, and murals were everywhere, but despite the grand buildings and beautiful decorations, Mike couldn’t keep his eyes off the ground. Even the streets are beautiful.
The ground he and Dreki walked was like a freshly cooled lava flow paved by slates of colored glass that softly glowed in the dimming light of the evening sun.
As they walked, Mike was woken from his trance by the scent of meat cooking.
Dreki smiled and said, “Smells good. You hungry?”
Mike nodded.
Dreki grinned and led Mike around the corner to a food cart. Mike salivated as the flames licked and sputtered at fat dripping from hunks of what looked like octopus turning on spits. The aroma of meat and spices was intoxicating. Dreki ordered them octopus skewers. As he handed Mike his skewer, Dreki said, “You’re never going to be able to eat earth octopus again.”
Mike chuckled. “I’ve never had it in the first place; I grew up in the mountains thousands of miles from the ocean.”
Dreki looked incredulous. “Did you not have rivers?”
Mike shrugged his shoulders, “Not with octopi.”
Dreki raised his free hand in exasperation. “Whatever. Either way, you’ll be disappointed by the rubbery trash humans call an octopus after eating this.”
Mike took a bite of the meat and groaned in pleasure. It tasted like a beefier version of bacon. Mike wolfed down his skewer in the blink of an eye and exclaimed, “That was fucking good!”
Dreki gave him a “Mhhhmh” with his still mouth full.
Dreki finished his food and led Mike off the main road onto a footpath flanked by wispy trees with dark blue leaves.
Eventually, the pair entered the back garden of a building that looked like a melted cathedral. Dreki led him through an open gate into a well-lit waiting room and held out his arm. “Hand me your bag; I’ll take it to your room. I’ll come get you after.”
Mike slipped his bag from his shoulders and handed it to Dreki. As the herculean Kael was leaving, he turned and said, “Try not to scream when they brand you; it’s an ill omen.”
Mike drummed his fingers on the armrests of the chair in the sea foam green waiting room, which was decorated with pictures of duels and exotic plants in white and blue ceramic pots. He was pretty sure that more than one of the photographs was of Dreki’s father.
Mike was anxious. Getting branded would suck, and getting an AR implant would involve someone sticking a drill through his skull. And without his gargantuan minder, Mike felt almost naked. He knew that he would probably be fine, but this was the home of the enemy. Without any weapons, he stood little chance against any Kael worth their salt in a fight.
Mike chided himself for the thought. Why does everything have to revolve around violence? Is there no world where you can just get along with them?
Mike frowned. No. I hate them. Despite his barely contained rage, Mike felt nauseous as blood-soaked memories bombarded his mind.
He doubted that he could kill again, even if it meant dying.
Dreki’s not so bad; maybe out here, more of them are like him than Ocidea.
Mike’s melancholy was interrupted when the tall door at the far end of the room opened. A short, for a Kaelman, nurse wearing pea green scrubs walked out, locked eyes with him, and shouted, “Mike Anderson!”
Mike followed the short Kael nurse into a cream-colored operating room. In the center an instrument table hovered next to an operating table. Besides the operating table stood a middle-aged Kael with tusks intricately inlaid with silver in triangular patterns. His white lab coat had Chief Surgeon Athocill emblazoned over the right breast pocket.
The Chief Surgeon stared off into space, engrossed in AR. The nurse who brought him in pointed to the operating table. Mike sat down.
A slender Kaelwoman in scrubs and a lab coat identifying her as the assistant surgeon walked in and started arranging the tools.
She glanced at Mike and said, “Take off your shirt.”
Mike pulled the black T-shirt he was wearing over his head and set it on the table next to him.
Without looking away from his work, the Chief Surgeon tossed Mike a leather strap and said, “Brand him.”
The short nurse pulled a heat stamp from its case and rolled the numbers to their correct positions. Mike put the leather strap in his mouth and grabbed onto the table.
Dreki’s warning rang through his head*.*
The Nurse carefully placed the print plate just below Mike’s collarbone and pushed it down. The heat stamp's coils flashed white. Mike bit down on the leather strap as hard as he could, and his knuckles popped as he gripped the edges of the operating table as hard as he could. Tendrils of smoke billowed off Mike’s chest as his flesh was seared, and the acrid smell of burnt hair and torched flesh wafted through the room.
Mike stifled a groan as the nurse peeled the superheated steel off his chest. The Nurse set the smoking stamp back in its case to cool and picked up a small jar of viscous blue fluid and a brush. The nurse opened the jar, dipped the brush in the blue goop, and painted it over Mike’s still-smoking burn. Mike jolted at the freezing touch of the brush. His ribs and abdomen rose and fell rapidly as he took short, shallow breaths as the freezing cold shocked his nervous system.
The nurse put the brush away and closed the jar. “Done”
Mike let the leather strap drop from his mouth and put on a straight face as he externally disguised the pain. Showing weakness was not an option, even if every fiber of his being commanded him to scream.
The assistant took hold of Mike’s arm and spoke. “Make a fist and squeeze.”
Mike did as she asked. It was a good distraction from the pain. His knuckles turned white, and the veins in his forearm bulged after a few seconds of pressure.
“You’ll feel a tiny pinch.”
The assistant jabbed the needle into the crook of his arm.
Mike’s head immediately felt heavy, and his whole body tingled. He tried to stay upright, to no avail. His vision grayed out as his head plopped onto the table with a thud.
The surgeon looked to his assistant and asked, “Is he out?”
“Yes.” She answered.
“Let us begin.”
The assistant used a small metal tool to pull Mike's right eyelid open. The chief surgeon plunged a gold needle into the depths of Mike’s right eye.
The surgeon carefully pulled the needle from the human’s eye and set the syringe back down on the floating instrument table.
“Targeting chip in place. Next stage.”
The nurse began rummaging around a drawer in the back of the room, and the chief surgeon plucked a gleaming silver drill from the instrument table.
The drill in the surgeon's hand whirred as he plunged it into Mike’s skull. After just a few seconds, the drill bored through Mike's skull. The surgeon pulled the drill out of the human's head and angled the bit down into a small metal dish that was in the extended arms of the assistant. The chief surgeon hit a button on the drill with his thumb.
A bloody, dime-sized piece of Mike’s skull dropped to the bottom of the metal dish with a clang.
He set the drill back down on the instrument table and held out his hand. “Drone.”
The nurse put an insect-like metal contraption that resembled a whip scorpion in the surgeon’s hand. The chief surgeon's eyes glazed as he entered his AR and took control of the drone. It popped out of his hand and burrowed itself into the hole in Mike's skull.
Inside his AR, he brought the drone to the occipital lobe of Mike’s brain.
“Deploying lattice.”
The arachnid-like drone injected small metal spikes with spools of minuscule wire attached—anchor points—into Mike’s brain. After just a minute's work, the surgeon had crafted a web of wires across Mike's brain. He brought the drone back to the center of Mike’s brain and planted one final anchor spike. A reel inside one of the claw-like appendages at the front of the drone spun, cinching the lattice of wires down to the last anchor point. The surgeon brought the drone around again, ensuring that the web of copper was completely taut against the human’s brain. He brought the drone back out and smiled ever so slightly as the blood and cerebrospinal fluid-soaked drone hopped back into his gloved hand.
Chief Surgeon Athocill smiled and jovially said, “Patch him up.” He was pleased with his performance today. This was the first human to get an advanced AR package, and the procedure went flawlessly. The assistant grabbed a quarter-sized piece of flesh-colored putty and carefully placed the small piece of skull onto it. She placed the putty over the hole in Mike’s head, and it took to life, bonding the fragment of bone back into place and sealing the surface wound.
The surgeon removed his gloves and began typing on a holoprojection. “All systems are operational. I’m linking him to the military network now.”
The assistant pulled the instrument table to her side and plucked a syringe filled with neon green fluid. She said, “I’m waking him up now,” as she plunged the needle into Mike’s arm.
Mike’s eyes flew open, and he grit his teeth against the pain. Tears seeped from his stinging and blood-filling right eye. Every heartbeat brought a jolt of crippling pain to his head. And worst of all was the searing pain from the brand on his chest and the aching cold that barely disguised it. Mike sat up with a grunt. Pain shot through his chest when he brought his hand to his head and felt the hardened disc of putty on his temple.
The surgeon addressed Mike with a soothing tone. “On the count of three, I’m going to activate your AR. It will feel like your head is on fire for a few seconds, but it will only last a few seconds. One… Two… Three!”
Mike nearly collapsed with the pain, but he managed to limit his response to a grunt. Light flashed before his eyes, and Kaelic text appeared in the center of his vision. The doctor asked, “What do you see.”
Mike answered, “AR active. And below that, it says setup wizard.” Despite his best efforts, pain was evident in his voice.
“Ok, Mike, I want you to think, ‘open setup wizard.’”
Mike blinked a few times. “Nothing happened.”
The surgeon said, “Think it in Kaelic.”
Mike’s brow furrowed in concentration. He was fluent in Kaelic, but not to the point where he could think in the language at will.
“Ok, I got it. It says setting menu at the top, and there are a ton of things here. Do you want me to read them off?”
“No. Can you scroll down?”
“Yes.”
“Good. You should be able to get the hang of this pretty quickly; it's very intuitive. You’ll see that there are a few HUD profiles that you can pick from. I’d recommend you start from profile two and then customize it as you see fit.”
Mike nodded as he selected profile two.
“OK, now think clear.”
Mike did as the surgeon asked. His vision was now cleared.
The surgeon smiled. “Feel free to fiddle with the settings, just think clear if it gets cluttered, and reset if you make a dog’s breakfast of it. You’ll have a headache for the next few days, and you may start having more vivid dreams, but other than that, you’ll barely notice the change. Just take it easy for the next few days, and don’t itch at your brand or your eye.”

I apologize for the length and incoherence of this post in advance.
I just want to vent a bit about some anxiety I’m having. For the sake of brevity, MF = my fiancé/partner, WP = our wedding planner.
For some background context, MF is American and lives in the U.S. and I am not American and live in my home country. Our wedding is going to take place in the U.S. about a year from now on MF’s family’s property. MF lives one state over (a five hour drive) from where our wedding will take place so neither of us are currently local to the area and we both have pretty demanding jobs which is why we felt it was important for us to hire a wedding planner to help us plan our wedding.
We hired WP earlier this year and in the beginning, I was really excited to work with her. She’s really sweet, we got a good vibe off of her, we really liked her style and approach to weddings, and she specializes in events in the specific area we’re getting married in. After our initial meeting, MF and I decided to go ahead and pay for her full service package. Her full service package includes things like monthly planning meetings/check-ins, putting together a detailed budget breakdown based on how much we’re willing to spend and our priorities, building us a wedding website, event and invite, and of course, vendor sourcing.
In the beginning, things seemed to be going fine but over the past three months, her communication has dwindled and I’m getting worried about whether I can trust her to get things done.
For all of our meetings, except our initial consultation, she has forgotten to send us a Zoom link until one or two minutes before or after our meeting was supposed to start. This would be inconsequential if I didn’t have to remind her every time we have a meeting. We’ve been meeting with her since the beginning of this year and in every monthly meeting, she has been asking us the exact same questions about our vision which makes me feel like she’s not fully paying attention.
During our last meeting in April, she said she would be sending us a list of potential vendors but that it would take one to two weeks for her to do it and then we’d go over them and discuss booking vendor consults at our next meeting in May and that she’d reach out to book a meeting with us. We had no issue with this.
A couple months ago we (WP, MF and I) also decided that MF and I would be going down there in early June (a year out from our wedding) to do a site visit of our venue with WP and meet with potential vendors to start getting things booked. Because I live in a different country, I can’t just meet with local vendors on a whim so I needed to pre-plan a time to do this. So I booked some vacation time in the first week of June for this specific purpose.
In our April meeting, WP had also mentioned that her own wedding was happening at the end of this month and she’d be taking some time off for that and she’d let us know when that would be. Of course, this isn’t a problem and we’re very excited for her and wanted to make sure we left her alone after our May meeting so she could focus on her own big day.
As of earlier this week, it has been a month since our last meeting and she had not followed up to send us the vendors list or let us know when she was going to be off and schedule the meeting. She has been active on Instagram so I figured she wasn’t off yet and wanted to check in again since I hadn’t heard back from her on my last email.
I sent her a friendly follow-up email a couple days ago wishing her well on her upcoming wedding and asking her when she’ll be out of office so we know to not disturb her during that time, if she still intended to meet with us before she took her time off and if she was still intending to send us the list of potential vendors because I’m trying to get some meeting booked for when I’m down there in June.
The main reason I’m worried is that I had already booked my trip and the time off work to go meet with vendors at the beginning of June and without the vendor information she was supposed to be sharing, I’m concerned I won’t be able to book meetings with vendors and make the most of my time.
She emailed me back saying that she’s so sorry but wedding season is in full swing, she’s behind on our vendor research and that she’ll be off starting tomorrow until June 1 but she absolutely promises she’ll get me the vendor list really soon. She also said she probably won’t have time to meet this month unless MF and I were open to an early morning meeting. In response, to my mention of my trip down there she said yeah, you’ll want to check out some food and beverage vendors but florals, cakes, photographers and DJs can all just be booked over the phone.
She also stressed that she strives to respond to all emails within 24-48 hours and to just send her an email if we have a question for her.
I sent her a follow up email thanking her for confirming those details and said we were willing to do a morning meeting and asked her if she had a specific day in mind for that but it’s been three days and she hasn’t responded. I know she’s on vacation starting tomorrow so I don’t really want to pester her again.
To be clear, I would never expect my wedding to take precedence over everything, nor do I want to bother her while she’s preparing for her own wedding because I want her to be able to enjoy that without having to worry about work stuff but I am concerned about her not following through on multiple tasks.
Because of scheduling and short staffing at my job, I won’t be able to move my vacation to a later week to give her more time to pull together the vendors list. I understand things get busy and sometimes people need more time to get things done but I just wish she had communicated that to us sooner so I could’ve maybe moved my vacation to another time. I probably won’t be able to visit the area again until fall or winter.
I don’t want to assume that I know how to do other people’s jobs but event planning (though more so for corporate and media events, not weddings) is a big part of my job. She has been doing weddings in that area for years now and so I’m a bit surprised that within the month since we last met, she hasn’t been able to just send us a list of vendors she has worked with before. I know weddings vary from couple to couple so different vendors will work for different people but the wedding MF and I are planning and the budget we’re working with isn’t atypical from many of the other weddings WP has done. At this point, I don’t even care if it’s a curated list, I’d just like to know who and what is available in the area.
I’m not trying to be a difficult bride, but I’m already quite stressed about having my wedding somewhere that isn’t familiar to me and getting everything booked from afar. As of right now, I’m doing my own vendor research, which is fine but a bit challenging. Because where we’re getting married is quite rural, a lot of local vendors aren’t great with having information about their services online and many don’t even have websites.
I know I can (and am) doing this myself, but I’m quite busy at work so I’m a bit disappointed I’m now scrambling to find my own vendors when we specifically hired her to do this for us. She also said she would put together a broken down budget by category but she hasn’t yet which would’ve been very helpful to have prior to looking into vendors.
Again, I completely understand things happen, life gets busy and sometimes people can’t deliver when they initially thought they could but I just wish WP would keep us in the loop. I really want her to be able to enjoy and focus on her wedding but it concerns me that she hasn’t delivered on the things she has promised to. She has talked about how busy she is and how she has so many weddings on the go and now I’m worried that by taking on our wedding, she may have bitten off more than she can chew.
I will give her the benefit of the doubt and give her a chance to catch up on things after she’s back from her own wedding/vacation but so far, I don’t feel very confident that she’ll come through for us or be mindful that our unique situation may require a slightly different timeline on some things.
If she is too busy to actually do our wedding, I hope she will be honest and let us know sooner rather than later. I’m worried about the prospect of finding a replacement planner a year out.
I’m sorry for my rant and maybe I’m being unreasonable and crazy. I’m just very stressed out by all the uncertainty.

Last week's post https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cqj7kc/roundup_ufos_anomaly_network_app_countries_colors/
Archive
Moon phase waxing crescent, three days before half
Mars Right Ascension 0h 37m 40s
.1 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cqjbim/strange_explosions_in_the_sky/ sighting description, no craft, at home, urban area, England the UK 🇬🇧, nighttime, flareup, appeared out of nowhere, explosion, it was like an ourburst, almost like when a coronal mass ejection happens, the explosion went one way, covering half a circle going outwards. , brief duration 1-2 seconds, repeat visitor or second object, two witnesses, Around 5 min later it happened again, this time in another part of the sky., has anyone seen?
.2 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cqjmwu/remote_viewing/ discussion of remote viewing, perplexing success, I’ve been playing a remote viewing app for two weeks and want to know how it is working. I keep getting it right.
.3 https://old.reddit.com/StrangeEarth/comments/1cqj2p8/strange_blue_cloud_over_bostonquincy_last_night/ video, nighttime sky, cloud anomaly, blue 🔵, from car, stationary, urban area, near Boston, quincy Massachusetts
.4 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cqj6la/a_look_into_the_special_tactical_unit_detachment/ original research, documents, "Special Tactical Unit Detachment" , S.T.U.D.S. within Air Force budget requests
.5 https://old.reddit.com/StrangeEarth/comments/1cqktez/immense_beam_of_light_moving_across_the_moon/ sighting description, moon anomaly, contemporaneous report, has anyone seen?, pale white beam almost imperceptibly across the face of the crescent moon, traversing the face of the moon, vertical orientation
.6 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cqltyg/great_basin_experience/ sighting description, Great Basin National Park in eastern Nevada, nighttime, unusual animal activity Western Jay comes out of nowhere and gets mad at my presence. He's sailing around my head, making a racket. Normally I love birds, but this thing is freaking me out. After 5 minutes of this it flies away into the distance., subsequent single light object, ascending from horizon, approach, silent, duration 8 minutes,
.7 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cqm8s5/uap/ video, nighttime sky, single light object, very bright, contemporaneous report, northern lights, moving fast, silent, beetle 🪲 shape,
.8 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cqz2hb/all_the_relevant_uap_updates_from_may_612/ information, state of disclosure USA https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cqd2yw/mexican_and_peruvian_ufo_hearing_roundup_slow/ state of disclosure, Mexico and Peru
.9 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cqv3p4/seen_above_my_house/ photos, nighttime sky, single light object, over the witness home, silent, right angle turn, ascending, west coast of scottish highlands near the Island of Mull, Scotland the UK 🇬🇧, contemporaneous report, similar sighting same day in comments https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1crqcay/unknown_in_sky/ video, single light object, low over treeline, plane for comparison observed, over Oban,Scotland, downvoted to zero
.10 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cqmotu/ufo_in_linekin_bay_boothbay_harbor_maine_847pm/ video, nighttime sky, contemporaneous report, northern lights, single light object moving slowly, kept moving in short bursts and pausing in one spot. Then moved again. , moving and stationary and moving, subsequent repeat visitor or second object, two witnesses, over water, linekin Bay, Boothbay harbor Maine https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cr1oml/ufo_linekin_bayeast_boothbay_harbor_maine_5112024/ more video, previous night
.11 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cqmwax/hoping_this_sub_can_identify_what_i_saw_today/ sighting description, daytime, contemporaneous report, central Illinois, Duration 20 seconds, single dark object, possible manta shape, all black and shaped like a bird, moving fast and straight, disappeared into clouds, silent, similar sighting same day in comments
.12 ➡️ https://old.reddit.com/aliens/comments/1cqwpdx/i_worked_on_a_team_that_dealt_with_with_nhi/ sighting description, at work, entity, OP is a university professor currently, previous career in aviation, landed craft, crash retrieval, acorn 🌰 shape, shaped like a dreidel without the handle., The shape was directly informed by its purpose. Every shape is custom molded in a metallic material that would revolutionize the way we travel if we had it. , I'll call it crash recovery because that's what colleagues who are planning to come forward will call it, shootdown, the NHI look like the aliens from close encounters. As far as I know, we never had one alive.,NHI know we can track them, and know how to avoid us.,NHI are linked to their craft in a way that borders on biological. Security rule is people that mention the agency name are killed. It's not a question, and it happened during my time. You'll hear more about them as news about the retaliation Dave comes out., If the US comes out directly and says "We have craft, we have bodies", it means we are on the verge of a serious global conflict like we've never seen before. [GOODPOST], removed by mods, "NORAD leak", https://web.archive.org/web/20240513180353/https://old.reddit.com/aliens/comments/1cqwpdx/i_worked_on_a_team_that_dealt_with_with_nhi/ Archive https://web.archive.org/web/20240514184514/https://old.reddit.com/aliens/comments/1cqwpdx/i_worked_on_a_team_that_dealt_with_with_nhi/ updated archive https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cvs93o/new_paradigm_media_group_claim_that_an_uap/ hopefully unrelated
.13 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cqs35h/what_do_you_think/ photo, nighttime sky, contemporaneous report, northern lights, single light object moving fast, wavy trajectory, overhead, 5 second long exposure, Port Coquitlam - about 30 minutes outside of Vancouver Canada 🇨🇦, downvoted to zero
.14 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cr8pcu/what_did_i_catch_in_the_sky/ video, daytime cloudy sky, single light object stationary, just sat up there, duration a couple hours. And then it was gone.., vanished, Newport Oregon, near water pacific ocean, haze, disturbing the air around it, three witnesses , similar sighting in comments
.15 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cr9qj4_strange_lights_moving_back_and_forth_while/ video, nighttime sky, northern lights, Pocatello Idaho, threelights observed, flying in triangle formation, crossing directly in front
.16 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cr1clw/taken_over_a_lake_in_prince_edward_county_ontario/ video, nighttime sky, over water, lake, prince Edward County Ontario Canada 🇨🇦, twolights, appeared out of nowhere, stationary and moving slowly, descended below treeline
.17 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cqreh8/very_bright_in_the_light_polluted_sky/ video, nighttime sky, single object blackwhite, low over rooftop, rockford Illinois, contemporaneous report, possible speed change, seems to maybe decelerate a couple times., very bright observed
.18 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cr6105/possible_uap/ video, nighttime sky, single light object, possible jumpy movement, speed change, seemed to really pick up speed then slow. , during northern lights, Eau Claire Michigan
.19 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cr3ioe/capturing_the_light/ photos, nighttime sky, single light object moving, near water, lake Michigan , irregular shape, elongated, worm 🪱, haze,
.20 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1crboq1/ufo_sighting_honolulu_pt1/ video, daytime cloudy sky, fleet, at home, urban area, kakaako neighborhood of Honolulu Hawaii, contemporaneous report, one large orb and several smaller orbs all floating in a formation. , smaller objects accompany it, flying in formation, disappeared into clouds https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1crbzky/ufo_sighting_honolulu_pt2/ more video
.21 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1crbj6x/summoning_ufos/ discussion of human initiated contact
.22 https://old.reddit.com/HighStrangeness/comments/1cqu4hw/saw_two_translucent_tailed_orbs_in_the_sky/ sighting description, has anyone seen?, nighttime, contemporaneous report, northern lights, duration 10 seconds, twolights, moving fast, trail, flying in formation, see through head with a long skinny white tail that left a trail of glowy light as they moved. One of them stopped moving, turned around then waited up for the other as it trailed behind and when it caught up they kinda just disappeared., northern Washington state near Canada 🇨🇦
.23 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1crdy05/51024_sw_wa/ video, nighttime sky, northern lights, single light object moving, at home, backyard, witness followed it, electronic effects camera battery died, possible speed change, possible trajectory change, disappeared behind rooftops, southwest Washington state, similar sightings same area and day in comments, [GOODPOST]
.24 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cremtj/my_great_uncle_told_me_about_a_crash_retrieval/ sighting description, family story, crash retrieval, military, Salar de Uyuni desert Bolivia 🇧🇴 , USA military response, He described the ship to have flickering lights of several colors and saw the Americans retrieving some pieces from that ship, alongside some organic material that looked like deceased beings
.25 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1crgxgt/3_lights_in_sky/ photos, nighttime cloudy sky, threelights, during northern lights, not seen by eye, Columbia South Carolina
.26 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1crk806/orb_over_lake_while_watching_the_aurora_lights_in/ video, nighttime sky, over water, Elbow Lake Michigan, during northern lights, three witnesses, single light object, hexagon shape with a circular light in the center. https://old.reddit.com/useDry-Ant3194/comments/1crwmun/screenshots_of_orb_over_lake_2nd_photo_shadow_was/ screenshots , multicolored, haze, cloud of all the colors dancing around it., duration 2 minutes
.27 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1crkaw4/some_advice_plz/ sighting description, two witnesses, nighttime, from car, Bourbon County Kansas, single light object stationary, low over treeline, reaction to being observed, approach, flareup, light shining in car, directly in front, went from a fixed position in the trees to nearly in front of my truck while at the same time focusing what I can only describe as the brightest light I'd ever experienced at night before. , jumpy movement, missing time
.28 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1crjw5j/extremely_bright_light_flying_towards_my_plane/ sighting description, from airplane, single light object, approach, over water Atlantic Ocean, daytime cloudy sky, light shining in airplane, physical effects paralysis, As I first saw the light my first reaction was that I froze for a few seconds in confusion. , interaction with airplane, flew overhead, witness looked away and looked back, vanished, duration 10-12 seconds,
.29 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1crh1go/recreating_something_i_saw_when_i_was_young/ childhood sighting description and reference image, at home, nighttime, witness woke up, threelights, barbell shape, outside window, stationary, duration 10 minutes, audio description loud buzzing., emotion of fear, witness left the area, new Hampshire
.30 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cr8ir4/seen_in_cornwall_uk/ photo, nighttime sky, cloud anomaly, disappeared, possible single object blackwhite, possible camera artifact, not seen by eye, at home, Cornwall the UK 🇬🇧
.31 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1crusrv/seeing_strange_things_while_recording_the_arora/ video, nighttime sky, fleet observed, multiple objects, one following another, LOTS of strange glowing round things. They would appear for 20-30 seconds and float across just a small area, and then they would disappear., each duration 20-30 seconds, Chattanooga Tennessee
.32 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1crzbcg/i_need_help_to_try_to_understand_what_i_saw/ sighting description, Sao Paulo Brazil 🇧🇷, nighttime sky, single light object, blinking, stationary, duration 10-15 minutes, The light would turn off and on in a regular interval (around 13 seconds)., repeat visitor, contemporaneous report
.33 https://old.reddit.com/aliens/comments/1cr8t6q/am_i_seeing_things_round_2/ video, nighttime sky, single light object, doughnut 🍩 shaped, moving straight
.34 https://old.reddit.com/HighStrangeness/comments/1crmukh/speaking_owls/ childhood sighting description, sister of OP, at home, nighttime, outside bedroom window, entity, owl, communication, repeat visitor, family history, her eldest son (who was around 7-8 at the time) woke the house up screaming. He was terrified and shaking and she asked him what happened and he told her an owl came and spoke to him “in his head.” , telepathy, emotion of fear
.35 https://old.reddit.com/HighStrangeness/comments/1crhdyo/my_cousin_and_i_charged_a_shadow_figure_when_we/ childhood experience description, three witnesses, entity, shadow figure, combat, My cousin and I looked back at each other and my cousin just screamed at me “LETS GET HIM!”. Before I could say anything my cousin just bolts at this guy, and I ran right behind him., witness followed it, it was not running fast at all, the way it ran looked super weird, its kind of hard to explain, its limbs moved like a human, but it looked like it was running in slow motion. Its head was slightly tilted back as it was jogging, almost as if it was looking up at the sky. , looked away and looked back, vanished
.36 https://old.reddit.com/HighStrangeness/comments/1crlbtp/what_do_you_think_of_this_experience_visitation/ experience description, at home, nighttime, inside bedroom, witness woke up, audio description high frequency sound in the room, almost like when something electrical is plugged in and you can just hear it. A neon sign kind of. , approach, very loud, It stops, and I start to hear this rustling coming from behind me, I think, “What the fuck IS that??”, wtf_is_that, communication, I get a flash of a sentence through my head that doesn’t feel like a thought from me but a message from someone else: “Don’t be scared.”
.37 https://old.reddit.com/aliens/comments/1crnkz7/cool_dream_about_ufos_in_a_hanga dream description, UFO's being shown to a group of people, it was in a very large hangar, the alien body was probably about 7ft that was lying down and the craft was tiny, maybe the size of a small table., the craft would expand towards the 3 pilots to become much larger, using their minds to do this, it would then mold to their forms to enable a space to pilot it, the material was almost like a moving graphete.
.38 https://old.reddit.com/aliens/comments/1crfo0y/did_i_see_a_ufo_anyone_got_a_logical_explanation/ sighting description and reference image, circular shape, at home, nighttime cloudy sky, spinning, The patterns/shapes/geometrics that made up the circle were ones I had never seen before, The Circle was spinning non stop and it was like the outside of the circle would collapse into the centre and then it would come out again to full size, has anyone seen?
.39 https://old.reddit.com/ufo/comments/1crs234/was_trying_to_get_a_photo_of_the_northern_lights/ photo, nighttime sky, during northern lights, urban area, Glasgow Scotland the UK 🇬🇧, not seen by eye, fleet or single object multiple lights, green 🟢, hoax
.40 https://old.reddit.com/ufo/comments/1cqx075/3_lights_in_the_sky/ photo, nighttime cloudy sky, threelights, red and green 🔴🟢, low over treeline, camping, outback Australia 🇦🇺 , zigzag movements or wavy trajectory, moving from side to side going at some speed but as I took that photo they disappeared., reaction to being filmed, vanishing
.41 https://old.reddit.com/Glitch_in_the_Matrix/comments/1cs2rhi/lost_time_in_western_mass/ experience description, missing time, two witnesses, from car, the McDonalds in Hadley Massachusetts, there’s quite some fog. But that area has fog from time to time. And all the cars except for ours in the lot were gone too, automobile anomaly, old early 2000s suv pulled into the lot with zero noise. No engine sound, I didn’t noticed the light until it pulled over to my right front spot. It kinda seemed it just slide in with no friction or anything. , location anomaly, we somehow got into the lot across the street,,didn’t seem to take longer than half an hour., more than 3 hours just passed.
.42 https://old.reddit.com/astrophotography/comments/1crz21q/an_unknown_red_circles/ photo, nighttime sky, two objects, anomalous to witness, red 🔴, near water, Black Sea, 30 second long exposure
.43 reference ISS https://old.reddit.com/astrophotography/comments/1cru96d/iss/ photo, nighttime sky, international space station
.44 https://old.reddit.com/Glitch_in_the_Matrix/comments/1cro1y6/we_lost_about_4_hours_of_time_in_30_seconds/ experience description, around the Northampton - Luton area the UK 🇬🇧, from car, four witnesses, camping, went through a tunnel, 4 hours had passed in 30 seconds,
.45 https://old.reddit.com/BackwoodsCreepy/comments/1crldxd/sound_from_woods_in_pnw/ audio description, at home, outside, near water, hottub, backyard, pacific northwest, high pitched, smooth who sound. Almost like someone was singing the word “who”. But with a very elongated “ooo” noise. , brief duration 2-3 seconds, physical effects paralysis and goosebumps, repeat visitor, made two passes, has anyone seen?, similar experiences in comments
.46 https://old.reddit.com/BackwoodsCreepy/comments/1crky49/more_in_depth_story_from_northern_alaska/ experience description, northern Alaska, multiple witnesses, nighttime, at home, felt observed, In the willows stood 4-6 small people. They looked like anyone else in the village, but they wore clothes made of skins rather than newer materials brought in. Their eyes glowed and one bared its teeth. Thinking about this just freaks me out., in comments: The navy on Guam has a problem with the little people entering the navy magazine where they store a huge amount of ammo. The marine guards would see them constantly., entities
.47 https://old.reddit.com/StrangeEarth/comments/1crdvlz/petrified_and_floating_out_of_window/ experience description, at home, nighttime, witness woke up, light shining in bedroom window, physical effects paralysis, witness was pulled, I floated out of my bed and towards the bright light in the window and shortly after I have no memory., event amnesia, emotion of fear, eyes teared up, it is the most terrifying feeling I have ever experienced. I’m crying just thinking about it., similar experience in comments
.48 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cs7jje/fast_moving_ufo_seen_in_north_vancouver_051024/ video, nighttime cloudy sky, single light object moving and stationary, jumpy movement, possible trail, North Vancouver British Columbia Canada 🇨🇦, duration 14 seconds, moving erratically observed, during northern lights , OP comments downvoted
.49 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1csc0o6/ufo_spotted_on_flight_to_newark_nj/ sighting description and video, nighttime cloudy sky, from airplane, contemporaneous report, over water Atlantic Ocean, single light object stationary and moving, subsequent threelights, Another light appeared right next to it and was glowing a bit brighter. A third light appeared from the right and went towards to the other two on the left. At this point the second light that randomly appeared on the left disappeared, the other two dimmed a bit and disappeared as well after another minute., dimming, vanishing,
.50 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1css11t/odd_floating_object/ photos and video, daytime cloudy sky, contemporaneous report, single light object stationary, Bozeman Montana, duration 30 minutes, weather balloon? looks like a balloon with a nautilus style tail, white in the sun and gray with low cloud cover., weird shit, multiple witnesses
.51 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1csui87/what_is_this_object_suspended_in_air_above_poland/ video, daytime cloudy sky, single light object, elongated, trail, vertical orientation, contrails type, contemporaneous report, Szczecin Poland 🇵🇱, stationary, duration a couple minutes, low over treeline, downvoted to zero
.52 https://old.reddit.com/ufo/comments/1cs6rj4/ufo_experience/ childhood sighting description, nighttime, at home, single light object moving and stationary, emitting orbs, Travelling at a slow and smooth pace. Until suddenly it stopped in position and ten seconds later two orbs shot out (or three) and darted across the sky like bees. , emotional reaction awe and wondor
.53 https://old.reddit.com/HighStrangeness/comments/1csu1ex/saw_something_in_my_apartment/ sighting description, at home, entity, inside home, audio description chain jingling and a buzzing sound., I turn around and am immediately faced with what I'm going to describe as a gray, leaning around the corner with one three fingered hand touching the wall. It looks....insubstantial. Like it's made of smoke or fog., Southern Appalachia
.54 https://old.reddit.com/HighStrangeness/comments/1csmf1w/strange_message/ experience description, no craft, at home, nighttime, communication, "kaptia kapta kesta", has anyone seen?
.55 https://old.reddit.com/HighStrangeness/comments/1crpnrw/third_man_facto experience description, remote viewing, training
.56 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1csxiay/was_wondering_if_anyone_had_a_logical_explanation/ video, nighttime sky, single dim object, diffuse, low over rooftop, contemporaneous report, Rhondda Cynon Taff South Wales the UK 🇬🇧 , two witnesses, witness followed it, duration 30 minutes
.57 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1csyfuv/honestly_dont_know_what_to_say/ video, nighttime sky, single light object moving, blackwhite, multicolored, two witnesses, contemporaneous report, subsequent threelights flying in equilateral triangle formation, [GOODPOST], emotion of fear, witness left the area, Ireland 🇮🇪 , physical effects vibration
.58 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1csyob2/purchased_a_flir_unit_online_and_had_an_interest/ sighting, OP is not the witness, witness is a pilot, black triangle 🔺️, from airplane , removed by mods, similar sighting in comments: All Black triangle, no lights, no sound, super low and almost floating (given how slow it flew over). It must have been landing at Joint Base Lewis-McChord https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cszn08/i_purchased_a_flir_unit_online_and_had_an/ reposted , similar sightings in comments, [GOODPOST]
.59 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1ctd4qs/new_jersey_ufo/ video, daytime cloudy sky, new jersey, twolights, two dark objects, moving slowly, bird for comparison, metallic sphere observed
.60 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1ctb72t/strange_train_line_in_brazil_and_argentina/ video, from home security camera, single light object, elongated, Rio de Janeiro Brazil 🇧🇷, link to similar sightings in comments
.61 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1ct569h/unidentified_object_next_to_us_apache_helicopte photo, daytime sky, contemporaneous report, at home, helicopter for comparison, single dark object, manta shape, bird?, downvoted to zero
.62 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1ct5imq/ufo_sighting_when_i_was_a_kid_with_witnesses/ childhood sighting description, multiple witnesses, at home, nighttime, trampoline, British Columbia Canada 🇨🇦, fleet, wavy trajectory, red 🔴, Three or four maybe five red lights, orbs, circles, moving like a snake across the sky but then dissappear., vanishing, repeat visitor observed, other witnesses said it came back later.
.63 https://old.reddit.com/aliens/comments/1ct62su/help_i_think_i_saw_some_aliens/ sighting description, three entities, at home, nighttime, animal reaction dogs barking, 3 little blurry things came out of the trees and then suddenly became viewable. There was 3 aliens that were as tall as oompa loompas. They were skinny so skinny almost like walking sticks with a square shaped figure. They had binocular shaped eye ridge and they had yellow eyes that were sunken in and looked slanted., emotion of fear, witness left the area, trying to run but i fell on the ground they stared at me, and did a dance. , dancing, physical effects eyes teared up,
.64 https://old.reddit.com/ufo/comments/1csw5nx/fast_ufo_over_federal_hill/ photo, daytime sky, plane for comparison, single light object, federal hill new jersey, similar sighting with video in comments,
.65 reference Sirius https://old.reddit.com/astrophotography/comments/1ct9qvx/photographed_sirius_again_3rd_time_i_think/ photo, nighttime sky, the star Sirius, single light object
.66 https://old.reddit.com/StrangeEarth/comments/1ct3nhz/looking_for_possible_answers_on_what_this_light/ video, nighttime sky, from home security camera, single light object stationary, low below treeline, appearing and vanishing,
.67 https://old.reddit.com/astrophotography/comments/1csgkde/weird_artifact/ photo, nighttime sky, anomalous to witness, single light object moving fast
.68 https://old.reddit.com/RBI/comments/1cs74p5/what_are_these_stains_on_my_pillowcase_quarte photo of pillowcase, anomalous bloodstains, at home
.69 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1ctijey/what_is_in_our_sky/ photo, nighttime cloudy sky, cloud anomaly, contemporaneous report, These "clouds" formed and moved opposite other clouds,
.70 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1ctlrfive_literally_just_spotted_this_spherical/ video, daytime cloudy sky, contemporaneous report, single dark object, elongated, possible manta shape or metapod, disappeared into clouds, sphere observed, kent the UK 🇬🇧, 51° 16' 47.9964'' N, angled from the horizon , repeat visitors , video shows electronic effects camera glitching or jumpy movement , moving straight, dead weight just travelling farther and farther as though travelling into space. , downvoted to zero in 1 hour, OP comments downvoted
.71 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1ct5cdy/bright_orb_crossed_the_whole_sky_in_lancaster_ca/ video, nighttime sky, single light object, multicolored, orange 🟠 observed, near USAF, Edwards air force base, Southern California, three witnesses, during northern lights, very bright, completely silent and weirdly multi-colored / orange orb showed up to the far west over Lancaster and steadily moved eastward, over Edwards and disappeared over the eastern horizon.,
.72 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1ctpjk8/what_is_this_object/ video, daytime cloudy sky, single light object, diffuse, low over water, Central Finland 🇫🇮, yellowish, diffuse, moving slowly, looking around, [GOODPOST]
.73 https://old.reddit.com/HighStrangeness/comments/1ctnntx/i_just_saw_a_uap_for_the_first_time_now_what/ sighting description, daytime, contemporaneous report, fleet, circling each other, weaving, 9 white small dots all irregularly circling around each other at high speeds. The group moved from one end of the sky to the other in the space of about 5 minutes., plane for comparison observed, interaction with airplane, flew over plane, They appeared above the plane and to slow down when the plane passed., speed change, three witnesses, apathy in other witness, polarized sunglasses., possibly metallic, possible haze, urban area, Denver Colorado
.74 https://old.reddit.com/Skydentify/comments/1ctl6au/photo_from_my_hotel_room_in_denver_facing_west/ photo, nighttime sky, single light object, irregular shape, diffuse, angular, orange 🟠, contemporaneous report, no info from OP, urban area, Denver Colorado
.75 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1ctqx3k/strange_object_spotted_over_mod_base_raf/ video, nighttime sky, single light object, moving slowly and erratically, started flying around in different directions. , contemporaneous report, near air force base, the UK 🇬🇧, at home
.76 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1ctz4s640_res_thermal_uap/ video and drawing, nighttime cloudy sky, through thermal camera, repeat visitor, plane for comparison, contemporaneous report, Southern new jersey, previous sighting description single object elongated, oval-shaped, horizontal orientation, The bottom half of the oval had 3-4 circular heat signatures. It was about 2x bigger then the plane at 3:04 and maybe 2x closer. It was moving slowly., video shows single light object moving fast, moving straight observed https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cuohxo/plasma_like_uap_on_thermal_monocula same OP, different event, twolights, two witnesses, elongated, V-shaped formation, merging, nighttime cloudy sky, contemporaneous report, Blue Anchor New Jersey, OP comments downvoted, big debunker energy
.77 these were all removed, i guess https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cu67kc/the_vatican_supernatural_phenomenon_summary/ news, Vatican guidelines for supernatural events https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cu8xsc/newsnation_reporting_on_the_vatican_and_ufos/ more coverage https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cu983a/vaticans_new_classifications_of_phenomena/ categories of events https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cu67kc/the_vatican_supernatural_phenomenon_summary/ summary, guidance on how the Church should approach and discern supernatural phenomena, like visions and apparitions.
.78 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cua35x/interesting_lights_in_the_sky_near_san_jose_51424/ photos, near San Jose California, nighttime, not seen by eye, single light object moving, trail, haze, shape change, near water, Calaveras Reservoir
.79 https://old.reddit.com/RBI/comments/1cu4k43/vivid_memory_of_the_sky_exploding_help_me_figure/ childhood sighting description, two witnesses, at home, backyard, daytime, single light object, directly in front, massive ball of flames dead center in the sky. It looked like a big plane had exploded but it was very slowly still moving across the sky. , There were reds, oranges, and very bright yellows 🔴🟠🟡 coming from it, haze. And it was HUGE, like, the size of my palm but in the sky. , emotion of fear, witness left the area, audio description huge booming exploding sound, physical effects vibration, I can feel the sound wave hitting us., Southern Florida, Columbia space shuttle?
.80 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cu64ri/my_girlfriend_saw_a_ring_of_flashing_lights_in/ video, nighttime cloudy sky, fleet, circular formation, diffuse, spotlights type, low over rooftop, urban area, Kuala Lampur Malaysia 🇲🇾, downvoted to zero
.81 https://old.reddit.com/RBI/comments/1cucswq/strange_shuny_spheres_in_the_sky/ childhood sighting description, Canada 🇨🇦, daytime, multiple witnesses, fleet, blackwhite, approach, flew overhead, multiple objects grouped and floating together. They looks like perfect metal spheres about the size of beach balls. , metallic sphere, flying in formation, duration a few minutes
.82 https://old.reddit.com/signalidentification/comments/1cuay5a/144_mhz_weird_mirrored_signal/ signal anomaly, possible twolights
.83 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cue2zz/you_want_disclosure_come_to_brazil/ how-to, self disclosure, Brazil 🇧🇷
.84 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cueec7/think_i_just_had_my_first_ufo_sighting_today/ sighting description, contemporaneous report, daytime, twolights, I noticed in the sky a metal object, then I noticed one behind it, a few meters apart. silent, witness looked away and looked back, vanished, England the UK 🇬🇧, duration 3-4 minutes., cylindrical shape
.85 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cug426/can_anyone_explain_what_this_is/ video, nighttime sky, threelights, close line formation, horizontal orientation, horizontal trajectory, moving fast, low over treeline, from car, powerlines,
.86 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cuhrz9/i_took_this_video_of_ufos_in_the_night_sky_above/ video, nighttime cloudy sky, through infrared scope, near windmills, fleet, diffuse, moving fast and slowly, trajectory change, U-turn, circling, moving and stationary, spotlights type, at home, outside bedroom window, triangle formation,
.87 https://old.reddit.com/space/comments/1cuhsz7/stranger_told_me_knowing_what_is_on_top_of_saturn/ experience description, contemporaneous report, mysterious stranger, the planet Saturn, he asked me "do you know what is there?" I replied "no". He told me to look up "Saturn from the top view" and said that it's going to open my eyes and change my life.
.88 https://old.reddit.com/BackwoodsCreepy/comments/1cufrqh/encounter_with_a_black_wolf_creature_in_the/ dream description, repeat visitor, entity, Tennessee, Around the age of 12 or 13, I started having recurring dreams set in the forest, a place I frequently visited. In these dreams, I encountered a large black wolf with glowing red eyes., During my final dream involving the wolf, a woman's voice accompanied it. I recall her saying, "Do not fear the wolf." As the wolf circled me, I didn't feel fear but rather a deep sense of respect for its ancient power.
.89 https://old.reddit.com/HighStrangeness/comments/1cuf2co/my_experience_with_nhi/ experience description, had a bout of psychosis that involved/was caused by extended contact with a "non-human intelligence." Left me deeply traumatized and harmed but in a better place in my life than where I started. Don't fuck around and find out.
.90 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cui6zs/satellite_or_ufo/ video, nighttime sky, contemporaneous report, Qatar 🇶🇦, single light object moving, stars for comparison, trajectory change observed
.91 ➡️ https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cuwnbs/how_many_have_had_the_dream/ childhood dream description, at home, nighttime, eyes outside window, Puerto Rico 🇵🇷 , similar dreams in comments, entity, [GOODPOST]
.92 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cuwxug/ufo_or_is_this_just_a_plane_or_satellite/ video, nighttime sky, contemporaneous report, two witnesses, single light object moving, Gladwyne Pennsylvania near Philadelphia,
.93 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cukdcm/ufo_from_joshua_tree_national_park_522024/ video, nighttime sky, Joshua Tree National Park California, multiple witnesses, camping, single light object, plane for comparison, haze, When the cloudy aura dissipated a bit you could see had just two bright white lights from two ends of it., twolights, vanishing, possible departure upward, rocket launch? , silent
.94 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cunh7l/what_sightingevent_opened_your_mind_to_the/ discussion of sightings
.95 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cuqag5/guys_help_me_identify_this_thing_what_the_heck_is/ video, daytime cloudy sky, contemporaneous report, urban area, Los Angeles California, single dark object, elongated, worm 🪱, irregular shape, single flash, downvoted to zero, OP comments downvoted, V-shaped, shape change
.96 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cuxx9l/help_i_think_i_saw_a_ufo/ sighting description, contemporaneous report, nighttime, at home, light shining in bedroom window, single light object, approach, golden, flew over the witness home, emotion of fear, Southern Ontario Canada 🇨🇦, emotional reaction feeling shook, ongoing, I've been having a lot of strange experiences lately.
.97 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cupc7a/ufo_orb_light/ video, daytime sky, single dim object, low over treeline, disappeared behind treeline, moving slowly and fast, possible reaction to being filmed, speed change, Was floating for about 2 min before I started filming. Moved fairly quickly, disappeared behind tree line., duration two minutes, at home, backyard, possible military response helicopter , event amnesia
.98 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cut2f2/strange_sighting_in_netherlands/ sighting description, contemporaneous report, single light object moving, wavy trajectory, vanishing and reappearing or jumpy movement, two witnesses, silent, possible military response jets, After 5 minutes or saw we saw a plane fly in the same direction. Which was followed by another plane and third one which made a u-turn after a flashing light appeared in the direction the light flew in., nighttime, the Netherlands 🇳🇱
.99 https://old.reddit.com/HighStrangeness/comments/1cuvet2/second_moon_uap_in_virginia/ video, nighttime sky, single light object stationary, multicolored, low over treeline, repeat visitor, Virginia, over water, river where the Tye and James river meet, He said that it disappeared for a month or so (he stopped seeing it in the morning) and now it’s back!
.100 https://old.reddit.com/RBI/comments/1cux9gabout_45_years_ago_i_saw_a_black_figure_looking/ sighting description, entity, at home, outside window, animal reaction dog noticed it, black figure the the shape of a person's head looking through the window at me., witness looked away and looked back, vanished
.101 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cv2esis_this_a_ufo/ video, nighttime sky, hard to see, repeat visitor, Victoria British Columbia Canada 🇨🇦 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1ct988m/what_the_hell_is_this/ previous day, video, nighttime cloudy sky, single light object moving erratically, jumpy movement, trail, North Vancouver British Columbia Canada 🇨🇦
.102 https://old.reddit.com/UF0/comments/1cv0xjf/please_telll_me_what_this_is/ video, nighttime cloudy sky, urban area, threelights, triangle formation, low over rooftop, silent, there were a lot of planes going by. wayyyyyy more than usual., at home, similar sighting in comments
.103 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cv7yko/another_shitty_phone_video/ video, daytime cloudy sky, powerlines, single light object, Yucaipa California, first noticed from car, witness stopped the car and got out, reaction to being filmed, ascending, departure,
.104 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cv8xxb/2007_ufo_sighting_in_sf/ sighting description and reference image, family story, 1967 Albany New York state, at home, multiple witnesses, over the witness home, very large, it was huge and covered her house and part of the street., stationary and moving, sudden departure
.105 https://old.reddit.com/Glitch_in_the_Matrix/comments/1cv9qub/the_sky_went_marine_blue_and_looked_like_it_was/ sighting description, no craft, contemporaneous report, nighttime, single flash, blue 🔵, illuminating surroundings, darkness bright as day, the sky went totally bright like it was day. It had a marine blue tint to it and I could see the whole city. , brief duration 1 second, subsequent audio description huge bang sound in the distance,
.106 https://old.reddit.com/AnomalousEvidence/comments/1cv97u8/i_wanted_to_share_with_you_all_a_bit_of/ information, how to evaluate orb reports, [GOODPOST]
.107 https://old.reddit.com/UFObelievers/comments/1cv7hky/ufo_supercharged_my_powerbank_to_151_a_yea sighting, electronic effects camera battery died, but my PowerBank has been stuck at 151% since last year.

I discovered Shera's videos quite a few years ago, and loved her humour as well as her message to level up. I started noting down all her little gems. They give me motivation, and a giggle too. I am older, in my fifties, and have been happily married for over 15 years, so I don't need her dating, sugaring, or 'get the bag' advice, but I do love her level up advice. I saw another lady share her notes, so I wanted to as well. There are tons, I've realised! I hope you enjoy them!
~~

How do you become the prize?

If you don’t start as the prize, then you aren’t the prize. If you don’t know if your mind that you are already the prize then you can never be the prize.

~~

How to be more feminine so I can be spoiled more?

It’s a lifestyle. You have to act, fake it until you make it, and create a lifestyle. The days that you don’t feel very feminine are the days that you have to use more of your masculine energy.

Remember to always have a space to come back to that is feminine, and recharge yourself with feminine energy. Create a more feminine environment, wear more feminine clothes, listen to music that is going to help your femininity instead of diminishing it.

Keep things that you like to do feminine and do feminine things. Going shopping, getting your nails or hair done, buying shoes, picking out décor for our rooms, decorating tables, going on picnics, watching girly movies.

Recharge yourself by doing some of those things. You need to be able to recharge your femininity at least once or twice a week.

~~

Live the type of life you want already. It may not be on the scale that you want to live it at, but it needs to be a version of it. For example, if you want to live a soft, feminine life make sure your current life reflects that: your current environment, the current way you dress, the current way you walk, talk and act.

The more you receive, the better treatment you receive, if you can get a provider who can let you live a more feminine life, a softer life, then it's just going to get better and better.

But already live the life you want to live, that way they can only improve you and they see how you treat yourself and see what you like and that’s what they are going to be giving you. Your goals will be met just by dating.

~~

What are some ways to keep him interested in he provides well?

Look good
Make sure you know what his interest are
Talk to him
Make sure he feels like he is the man
Look good when you are out with him
Make sure you are pretty and heads turn ‘ooh who’s he with’
His self-esteem will skyrocket when you go out with him if you look good and he’s not going to want to leave that


~~

Men like women to switch it up as long as it’s classy.

~~

Flower attract bees to them by their bright colours and they smell good. Attract men to you:

· Wear bright pretty colours
· Smell good
· Look fresh, dewy and youthful
· Look attractive

Look like the prize. Look like his fantasy. Look through his eyes: what would he like to see?

It’s not that complicated. Bring it back down to simplicity? What do men like?

Heels
Skirts
Dresses
Makeup
Long hair
Red lipstick
Baby voice
Feminine colours
Make them feel good
Give them compliments
Let them talk
Don’t talk about your boring stuff – they don’t care

Use the formula to get success with men.

~~

If you want to dress casual in jeans and a cute top, still wear heels, hair, full makeup. If you’re going to wear jeans, you’re going to need to wear heels.

Also think about this: what sort of man are you attracting. If you wear jeans when you meet you’re going to get taken to a jeans date. Dress for the life you want.

~~

Comment:
When we had a fight I cut my hair short & bangs & went shopping. He was so glad he said “you look like a different person!” The fight was forgotten & he treated me new again & took me shopping again.

~~

"Life is fun! (...) life is a movie, life is a stage. Get into character... "

~~

Men don’t care about anything else but what you look like and how you make them feel.

~~

If you’ve let yourself go, level yourself up to the point that their jaw will drop when they see you.

~~

The only limitations are the ones you believe in.

~~

What do rich men’s wives all have in common besides being pretty?

They’re feminine
They’re classy
They’re not loud and obnoxious
They don’t outshine their husband
They hold back and keep it together in public
They are well proportioned

Shera had a friend who was a little rachet, and she ended up marrying wealthy. She had to totally change everything about herself:

The way she dressed
The way she wore her hair
The way she spoke
The kind of shoes she wore
Her makeup
She had to change it all
How she acted around people
How she spoke to men
She had to change everything
It’s not that she changed who she was inside or her personality
It’s that she changed who she was around men
There’s a difference

~~

Your stock should go up after you get married, not down. If your stock is not rising after marriage you’re doing it backwards. That means still investing into yourself, your beauty, your clothing, into your stash (money, wealth and investments). If you got married and your stock plummeted, that’s your fault.

~~

Loving yourself means putting yourself first as a priority. Knowing your worth and value and not taking any crap from anybody because you value yourself, you love yourself. That’s all loving yourself means. And not talking down about yourself. And knowing that you deserve what you want in life.

Once you do that other people will as well – men, co- workers, your boss, parents, spouse, brother, sister, cousin, whoever. Whoever is in your life at the moment will recognise that you love yourself and that you don’t have to submit to them or that you’re not desperate for their approval. In fact they may start to be desperate for your approval. So make sure you’re putting yourself first.

Don’t be always talking about the other person and what they want or what they think. Don’t care who they are. Don’t care about other people or their spouse or the person they’re interested in. It’s not about them, it’s about you. If they can’t recognise you and they don’t like you, then you are wasting time.

If you have to sit there and be puzzled about why someone is not responding properly or why they’re not doing this or that, it means they don’t like you so just move on and stop trying to waste time worrying about it. You already know that in the back of your mind; you’re just hoping for a different outcome that there won’t be.

Make sure that when you realise you are putting other people before yourself as a priority then you’re not going to get the type of man or people attracted to you that you need. When you can get somebody in the click of a finger and they’re not used to that it means you are valuable and that they are not necessary. They are very unnecessary and therefore they feel like you have even more value because you don’t need them. You don’t need them, they need you. That’s why they seek you out. That’s why they call you, that’s why they ask you out.

Make sure you’re not getting caught up in silliness. If they’re not putting you first, you’re gone. Or you put them on ice; that means you let them figure it out and when they start acting right again then you allow them back into your life. If you’re chasing behind someone, if you’re worrying about someone who ghosts you then you’re not putting yourself first.

And that means you don’t love yourself. A lot of people were taught to act a certain way – not cocky etc – if you don’t, all people see you as is a doormat. You can let down your guards later when they are fully invested in you and aren’t going anywhere, but until that happens they are there to impress you.

~~

How do you fall in love with yourself when you aren’t happy with yourself?

Become happy with yourself:

· Do things that make you happy
· Look the way you need to look
· Continue to do this every day until you are happy

Only you can make you happy

~~

Don’t go out there lookin’ like Plain Jane. Plain Jane gets passed by with the eye.

~~

The key is confidence. You can learn all you want, if you don’t have confidence you can’t pull it off. The key is confidence, knowing your value, and not listening to no dusties. That’s the key, that’s the masterclass right there – be confident.

Be main character energy. Stop caring what people think. Have a goal of what you want and go for it and don’t stop until you get it. Speak positive about yourself and stop dealing with dusties. That’s just it. You do all those things and you’re going to have something. You’re going to get what you’re looking for. That’s it.

~~

It’s not what you look like – it’s how you make them feel.

Are you going to make them feel young again?
Are you going to make life exciting for them?
Do they enjoy being with you?
Do they like being seen out in public with you?

~~

Shera, on when you talk about all your feelings and prior history:

“You’re being an informant on yourself. You’re telling on yourself. You’re giving out all your secrets and revealing everything. So that’s definitely not feminine energy, because feminine energy is naturally dark. You know, it’s water, it’s the cosmos, it’s that. So when you’re revealing everything, when nothing is unknown and everything is known, now you’re masculine. Because that’s light- everything is known. So the more you say, the more you tell, the more you open up, the more masculine you become in that energy, and the less mystery and femininity and feminine allure you have, because now you’re an open book. And they have all the clues to how the story ends and how to manipulate the character.”

~~

“Feminine energy is naturally dark, is water, is the cosmos, is that. So, when you are revealing everything, nothing is unknown and everything is known, now you’re more masculine, because that is light, everything is known.

So the more you say, the more you tell, the more you open up, the more masculine you become in that energy, and the less mystery and femininity and feminine allure you have because now you are an open book, you’re predictable.

And they have all the clues to how the story ends and how to manipulate the character.”

~~

Get them to worry about you, while you worry about you.

~~

How do you find your purpose? You create it.

~~

Leveling up is actually a lot of fun when you are present and mindful about it it’s probably be the best gift you could ever give yourself as a woman.

~~

Stop caring what other people think and live the life you want to live. If you don’t like kissing people’s butts, don’t kiss their butt.

~~

A lot of women don’t realise that if you just get into your feminine, and you stick with your standards, you can get what you ask for.

~~

How to become detached and unbothered?

Stop caring. When you care too much, that’s when you can’t detach and be unbothered. Stop caring, become ‘take it or leave it’. That’s your attitude. You will be fine with it or without it.

~~

Comment:

Three years ago I was getting yelled at a public train station (which we had to take because neither of us had a car) by my dusty disgusting ex. I lived in a cheap apartment with four unsavory roomates and their boyfriends. Now I live in a luxury high rise with a conceirge and valet. All I did today was get a facial, sit by the pool and shop. I don’t have to worry about a SINGLE THING and every man in my life treats me like a queen. I’m truly breaking generational curses; my dad left my mom with four kids alone while she worked at Denny’s waitressing overnight. If it weren’t for Shera’s wisdom I don’t know where I would be today but I just give thanks every day that I saw the light. This is my one and only life so why shouldn’t I be living peacefully and bougie.

It’s crazy how fast life can chance when you realize your worth and act on it. Keep on inching further and further; the more luxurious things you do the more the rest of your life catches up. It literally started with me going to the expensive nail salon instead of the cheap one. Then I felt like I deserved more. I moved into a nicer apartment that was out of my budget at first, then a nicer car, then I started buying designer bags and now I live in an ultra-luxurious place. Small steps and the rest of your life will catch up in time. Of course look your best every day and be healthy. And do not give a second of your time to anyone who does not treat you with respect, remember if they’re not adding to your life they are taking away.

The universe somehow just opened up and rains abundance on me. The more you surround yourself with the vibrations of prosperity the more it will be drawn to you. Ella Ringrose on YouTube helped me a lot to draw in money.

~~

Comment:

Shera ever since I started watching you I have levelled up my life completely. I lost 50 pounds and changed my whole look to be more feminine. My husband was so motivated he started making more money and bought me a home and my dream car. He does everything I want now and he feels proud to bring me home his paycheck. I no longer work and just workout every day and focus on my children. A lot of my family members don’t understand this life but I am very happy and comfortable.

~~

If you give yourself away too easily, your value is low.

~~

10 Important Habits of a Gold Digger

1)high standards
2)high self-esteem
3)perspective
4)purpose
5)options
6)be unapologetic
7)looks
8)business plan
9) knowledge/value of money
10)stay unbothered

~~

‘Busy patterns that aren’t classy make you look older’. You can show how classy your clothing is by the cut, colour and pattern, not the brand or designer.

Look to magazines for style inspiration:

O magazine = for older women
Instyle = more youthful

~~

Comment:
Men need respect, they don’t want your love.

~~

Wealthy men like women who are thin, feminine, and classy, or classy/sexy.

~~

Classic = classy. Dress in a way that you wouldn’t look crazy in a photo in 20 years time.

~~

‘We’re not trying to fit in, we’re trying to stand out.’

~~

Comment:
Looking beautiful, adore your blouse and that classy backdrop. I have earrings very similar. I have to go out now, I’m over 60 and always look stylish heading out the door . Make up and a cute dress today. You never know who is at the coffee shop 😊

~~

Be cute, be feminine, don’t talk so much. Let him do the hard work.

~~

‘You’re not his momma stop acting like it’ video
Women will turn into their man's mother without realizing it! Then he will run.

A lot of times when a woman has been in a relationship for a long time or is married, they start acting like a mother to the man without even realising it. To avoid that, do these things:
· Totally change everything – change how you dress, put more makeup on, wear heels.
· Act ten years younger.
· Don’t be concerned about the things you used to be concerned about.
· Let everything be free and fly.
· If you once worried about dishes in the sink don’t worry about it anymore.
· Change it up.
· If he realises that you stop caring and you just put all that extra energy that you were nagging and trying to organise and keep stuff right or that you were frustrated about – if you took all that extra energy and put it back into yourself – and you stopped worrying about the house and the domestic issues and him doing this, this and that. He’s going to think, ‘Well dang, everything is out of order, now she’s dressing like this and putting on makeup and looking this way, and the dishes aren’t clean anymore, or she’s not nagging me about picking up my clothes and the room is a mess’, then either he’ll get up and do it or he’ll start turning into your father.
· You mirror what they do and they’re gonna start seeing what you are doing by you have to act that way with them.
· You stop cleaning dishes, you start leaving your stuff on the floor.
· You start dressing cute, and say you’re going out.
· You forget to do stuff, or you stop helping out because you don’t want to damage your nails or the Real Housewives is on.
· Start doing the same thing to him – he watches sport, you say, ‘Oh Housewives is on, I wanna watch it. I don’t wanna watch it later.’
· You don’t do any of this like it’s revenge, just like you joined him in not being responsible, or joined him with more relaxed rules.
· He might like it. He might be like ‘you’re so laid back, you look happy today’.
· Then he might start cleaning up more because it’s not an order.
· But as long as you’re happy and not nagging him, he’s going to do it voluntarily.

~~

How you act and how you make him feel will give you more power to get what you want.

· Look good
· Be more feminine
· Speak softly
· Smile
· Laugh at whatever he is saying and make him feel good about who he is
· Let him talk more than you
· Feed his ego
· Act vulnerable and he will want to do things for you, will want to please and impress you

(I added:
· Ladylike, dainty, girlish, delicate, compassionate, considerate, sympathetic, tolerant, warm-hearted, gracious
· Calm, refined and tasteful
· Agreeable, friendly, good-natured,
· Kind, moral, pleasant, delightful)

That’s how you get what you want.

Our power is in our femininity, not in our masculinity, not in being in competition with a man, but making them weak because we are giving them exactly what no-one else does and so they’re not used to it and they yield to it and want more of it and they’re going to do what you want.

Being feminine is the key to getting what you want. There is no magic formula; it’s just ‘being feminine’. Work on that and you will get what you want. Work on your baby voice. Work on asking men for things and help, feeling vulnerable around them and stroking their ego and you can pretty much get what you want, especially if you choose the right target. Don’t go up and choose someone who has a thousand options, go up and choose someone who feels lucky to be with you and who will act accordingly.

~~

Men don’t like jealous women. You look insecure if you show jealousy. If you feel jealous, act like you don’t care – laugh it off.

~~

Men don’t like to be told what to do or have someone running their life. They don’t need you to offer them suggestions – this will just make them feel like a child, emasculated and they will rebel.

~~

Have a hobby and have a life.
Have your own life.
Make yourself number one.

Make sure he likes you more than you like him. If he really likes you he is going to chase you and not let you go, and you don’t even have to do anything to make this happen.

~~

I am not a people pleaser. I live for myself not others. And that’s how you have to be to be unbothered. Be unbothered always and you will live your best life.

~~

I live in a fantasy world every day. That’s why I can create the world that I want.

~~

A dream woman is motivation for a man in every way. If you no longer motivate him, you are no longer his dream woman.

~~

A good actress will melt into her role.

~~

Instead of waiting and having regret later, make the decision now to do what’s best for you, not what’s best for the outside world and what they think. Do what’s best for you in the long run, not what’s best for you right now in this one moment which will pass. Think ahead. Right now is gone. As soon as you think about it, it’s gone.

~~

To be a dream woman and to be worshipped by the man you are with, you have to stay focused on you. Don’t be about him. A man’s dream woman does not mean she is all over him. She has a life. Keep a healthy distance instead of being extra clingy. That way you stay on his level. Make sure you appeal to his friends (in a classy way) too. He will see that others appreciate you and know that he has the prize.

~~

“Put outfits together in your mind when negative people are talking.”

~~

How to be unbothered?

Comments:

‘Fake it till you make it. That’s what happened with me I started to pretend that it didn’t bother me. Now I’m literally so unbothered and focused on myself.’

‘When you are showing that you’re upset or bothered, you are giving them power to know they affected you. I love everyone but I do not argue. I have trained myself not to get emotional even at my husband or family. Being this way also makes you more respected, it’s part of your charisma.’

‘Being unbothered is a choice.’

~~

Comment:

If you're over 35 the best ways to look young is to drink a gallon of water a day....it's good for wrinkles..and helps your makeup glide on like butter.

Eat less and eat as much green as you can (Kale, Broccoli, Spinach) so you can be as slim as possible so that you feel good in your clothes....

Work out to increase your confidence...

Dress your age....nothing worse than a woman who dresses out of her age range...makes you look like you're trying too hard...

~~

Build confidence by not accepting that you have low self-esteem. Every day improve yourself so your self-esteem gets higher and higher. Don’t wallow in it, don’t accept it. Every day tell yourself what you want:

I look good
I feel good
I’m great

Tell yourself that. Give other people compliments, and they will give you compliments. Before you know it, you’ll have high self-esteem. You have to work on it, it doesn’t come automatically. It took a long time to tear down your self-esteem, and it takes a moment to pull it back up.

Just work on it, keep moving forward. Don’t let anyone put you down again.

~~

How to keep your husband interested

· Less communication
· Less giving of information
· Spend more time apart
· Don’t get so close that he is going to want to back up
· You have to get close then back up, get close then back up again
· Look your best at all times
· Don’t smother people and they won’t try to escape you
· Have a life
· Have things to do
· Have a to-do list that does not require that person

Go out and do things. He will appreciate you more when you get back. He will wonder what you’ve been doing. He will anticipate your return.

Don’t let him conquer you. When men have conquered a woman, they will move on. If he doesn’t feel like he can ever conquer you, he will try harder. Never let him feel like he totally has you.

~~

Masculine people (men or women) tend to run to the rescue of others.

~~

Shera, on uplevelling your looks and being your best every time you step out the front door: Don’t let life pass you by. Life is short. Life is very short.

Comment on Shera’s video: My mom went through a season where she dressed up and it just made our whole family and home come alive. I remember when my mom walked into the living room all fixed up and my little cousin's eyes just lit up. He said be careful don't touch her lol. He literally went from seeing her as a plain ol’ aunt to a princess. He was so young, but he couldn't fake it; that was his instincts.

~~
· It’s not about looking young, it’s about looking good.
· If you miss an opportunity to be levelling up, you are only cheating yourself.
· Stay ready.
· Every day do something to improve yourself - hair, exercise, mindset, self-esteem
· Enjoy getting ready – be creative
· If you’re wearing makeup, go bold. Men want to see the makeup.
· Men like it when you look your best. When you’re out in public, people are judging a man’s status by the type of wife he has, how she looks. You add status to any man that you are with.
· If you are attractive, you will have a lot of friends inviting you out. They will use you to attract attention because you look good. They are going to gravitate towards you and associate you with success. Your appearance will get you further than almost anything else.

~~

When you’re trying to lure a man in, dress for that man. Men do pay attention to what you look like.

Broke men pay attention to your silhouette. They look at your body because they just want to have sex with you.

Men with money pay attention to what you wear: your clothes, your shoes, your jewellery, your shoes, your hair, everything. Are you appropriate? If he wants to take it to the next level and take you out and get to know you, start a relationship, introduce you to his friends, he isn’t just looking at your body.

~~

The better you look, the more successful he looks.

~~

Men are visual creatures. Everything men do is based on that they see. How they treat you is based on what they see.

If you go without makeup, hair not done, and dressed badly, you won’t get the same treatment even by the people who see you every day. When you look good, the people around you have a little bit more respect for you. They see you looking pulled together and to see you any other way is foreign to them.

When you are levelled up, keep this in mind, don’t backslide. When a man meets you looking good, he wants to see you like that for your entire marriage. He doesn’t want you to let yourself go.

Try hard to keep yourself up during your marriage; how you looked when you met him is how he wants to see you forever more.

Men are very visual creatures, so when they see us looking bad, it upsets them. It literally makes them clench inside a little bit because they are so affected by the visual.

You are like a Christmas tree or a beautiful ornament. It’s a pleasure to look at you and they’ll want to be around you just for that.

People may treat you badly because you didn’t keep up your looks - a man could be speaking to another woman or ignoring you.

~~

“Just act and dress like a feminine lady. You’re making them feel younger by being in their presence. Watch 1950s Hollywood movie stars to watch how those ladies acted.”

Never help a man level up as they will always put you in a maternal role and look at you as a mother figure.

How to change your mindset:
1. Tell yourself that you are no longer allowing people to make you feel bad about something – that’s your choice.
2. Decide that you want to be better, and each day take action towards being better. Your self-esteem will rise from this.
3. Surround yourself with like-minded people so you can influence and help each other.

~~

People who talk less are generally more well respected.

~~

“Look for the positive in every negative comment or situation, and you will find it every time.

Whatever your weakness is, make it your strength, to fuel you to the next level. That’s how you really level up from inside. Face your weakness head on. If someone calls you fat, flaunt it. Say, ‘So what? Yes, I eat, I haven’t seen a rib in many decades, but I’m happy. I got a lovely husband, nice house, nice car.’

Instead of being a victim about it, empower yourself with it. Your flaw can be your power. It can be your power if you take it and embrace it and stop focusing on it as an insecurity. The more you focus on something as an insecurity, the more other people will focus on it because they know it’s your weakness and that’s how you get affected. Whatever your flaw is, turn it into something that can give you more than it can take from you. If people say it’s a flaw, take it and turn it into a power.”

~~

Don’t listen to what people say; what do you think? Opposition creates interest.

~~

· Be extra feminine in the way you dress, speak, act.
· Be charming - smile, don't argue (and then do exactly what you were going to do anyway).
· Ask for help from your man - opening a jar, lifting something, reaching up high, anything - they love it. Do this three times a day. Say things like 'It's too heavy for me'. Doing this makes them feel protective of you.
· When you are offered help, accept it.
· Talk to men in a feminine baby-voice.
· Practice being feminine and flirty every day to men everywhere so that it becomes second nature. Things such as asking a man for assistance at the supermarket and smiling and saying thank you in a feminine voice.
· Use your feminine charm on everyone around you.
· Look your best, put on makeup every day, smell good, be well groomed, have nice nails.
· Speak to him as if he's a person and not a child - don't try to control him. Mothers control their children and men don't want to have sex with their mother.
· Ask for what you want, but do it in a feminine way.
· Act like the prize to be the prize.
· Be unpredictable - men will get bored of you if you are too predictable. If you are unpredictable it is exciting to them plus scares them a little too. They will wonder why you are different.
· Don't talk so much.
· Mirror how he acts to bring him closer. Say your man is a bit distant; my natural inclination is to wonder what is wrong, try and talk to him etc. That is clingy, a better way to behave is mirror that - be busy doing your own things, happy but busy and let him come looking for you when he comes out of his cave.
· Be feminine in everything you do - surround yourself with reminders of your femininity - i.e. a pink phone cover.
· Be the receiver not the giver.
· Let him think up ideas, with your subtle input.
· Hardly ever text or call him at work, unless you need him to pick up something.
· Dress up every day for no reason.
· Smile.
· Always be levelling up.
· Have a plan B.
· Don't tell him your plans for the day or where you have been - be a little mysterious and let him wonder what you've been up to.
· Keep the mystery alive with privacy - closet, bathroom etc.
· Don't do everything together.
· Have hobbies and interests of your own.
· Make him feel like a man by asking his advice, seeking help from him, not trying to tell him what to do etc.
· Keep up with new trends and the latest styles. Try new looks, buy new clothes, look cute.
· Make him feel younger by being fresh, new and exciting.
· Be excited by life and easily impressed.
· Go on vacation, go out to places.
· Do new things and turn him on to new things. Do new things in bed.
· Change your looks - look different, be different.
· Listen to the latest music.
· Keep up with the latest trends in things.
· Be an exciting adventure.
· Be happy go lucky, not a care in the world, everything is fun.
· Head up, chin up, look around, smile.
· Get all excited when you talk about little things.
· Light up when you talk to people.
· Bring a high energy.
· Wear your hair long and straight or smooth-wavy.
· Be seasonal - with your look/outfit, eating, décor.
· Reinvent yourself regularly.
· Play different characters for fun.
· Channel someone else when you go out.
· Be constantly changing and improving.
· Be a lively woman - bubbly, happy, exciting, smiling, lifts their spirits, fun to be around.
· Grab his hand and pull him along like a child.
· Be energetic and breathe life into others.
· Mirror his body language about 10-30 seconds later.
· Try new things, new looks.
· Practice your charm on waiters etc.
· Be a people watcher in different environments depending on the lifestyle you desire.
· Look from the outside in - how do people view you? How attractive are you?
· Transform yourself.
· Be his ultimate fantasy girl.
· Look good, do your makeup every day.
· Speak to your him as if he is a person and not a child.
· ‘Can you help me/lift that/get me a blanket?’ in a baby voice. Get him used to looking after you. ‘This is too heavy for me, I can’t reach it’. Do this three times a day minimum.
· Ask for what you want in a feminine way.
· Use the baby voice.
· Be extra feminine.
· Be charming – smile, don’t argue – agree (but do exactly what you want anyway).
· Ask for help from men.
· When you are offered anything, accept it.
· Talk to men in a feminine nature.
· Practice being feminine and flirty every do so that it becomes second nature to you – it will become easier with practice.
· Ask questions and smile.
· Play a bit dumb (not stupid; request their knowledge).
· Use your feminine charm on everyone around you – practice on any man to get better.
· Never get too comfortable (don’t let yourself go).
· Keep the illusion going – makeup, hair, lotion, fragrance.
· Look like you did when you first met (me: 66-67kg, long blonde hair, stylish clothes).
· Men are visual creatures and your hair is foremost – long, silky and straight.
· Have your makeup on, look cute.
· Shera’s husband treated her differently when she gained weight and then lost weight.
· Shera’s advice to a lady who gained 40 pounds and now her husband isn’t attracted to her: ‘Lose 40 pounds’.
· Still look sexy even if you’ve been together a while.
· Exfoliate your face and body.
· Have glowing, moisturised skin.
· Use highlighter on your face.
· Wear perfume, body lotion, nicely scented products.
· Wear red lipstick, eye makeup.
· Wear light, modern perfumes.
· Have simple, nice nails.
· Tell him that whatever you want is your ‘ultimate fantasy’.

~~

If you want to be married to a rich man, dress like a rich man’s wife.

~~

Be unbothered

It’s so amazing to just not care. You have no idea how much better your life gets when you stop caring. When you stop caring about stuff that’s not beneficial to you, everything blossoms, everything. Because your attention is no longer on anything negative, it’s all on you, and so you blossom.

How to keep your man chasing you? Be busy, don’t call him all the time. Have a hobby or a business and let him have to go looking for you.

~~

Did you ever feel insecure about your weight?

“No.

At any weight my mental game was tight, it was good. I could get anything I wanted, so it never really held me back. The only thing that would ever make me feel insecure about anything is… I really don’t have a lot of insecurities anymore. I had the normal insecurities of a child. But when I grew up and I understood that you could take your power from any situation, you no longer have insecurities.

If I was insecure about my weight, I wouldn’t be up here on YouTube, and if someone says something about how I look, I don’t care. I say Okay yeah and so what? I’m eating good, I’m living good. It doesn’t bother me, because that’s not what defines me. I’m gonna get paid skinny or fat. I’m gonna be happy at whatever makes me feel happiest. So it’s all about how you feel about yourself and how you value yourself. You don’t base your self-worth on what other people think about you.

And the reason why I teach people you gotta look good if you want to turn heads and make men cross the room is because if you are trying to get a date, yes, you have to be concerned with what other people find attractive. But that should not ever play a role in your own personal self-esteem.

Whatever you need to feel good at the time, tomorrow or today, that’s what you need to be doing.”

~~

What’s in the closet, Kirsty?
He knew I hid a secret.
I smiled, tried to look confused.
He waited, crossing his arms.
I worried that he'd already seen. He had.
What else could he think about the pile?
His wife’s a cheater. She has another life. Another husband. Children.
He’d never believe the truth: I’m not a cheater; there’s no other life; no other man; I don’t know who the children are who visit me at night.
But I did have a secret. And maybe it’s fair to say another life, even if was smaller and against my will.
I should have destroyed those frames, burned the photos within. Now it looked like I saved them, cherished them. The truth couldn’t be farther. I feared to touch anything to do with… whatever they are…with one exception.
“It started last Halloween,” I said to George, my husband, my real husband.
He stopped packing for a moment, working out the impossibility of this statement. “I’m taking the girls to my parents.” He resumed the tossing of shirts, pants, etc. into our big suitcase.
“It’s true,” I said, but weakly. The children in the picture are at least six and four respectively. They were born six months ago.
“They’re not… my kids,” I said of the boys in the photos. They’re not kids is what I almost said.
George stopped and squeezed the bridge of his nose between thumb and forefinger. “Kirsty,” he said slowly, “there are baby pictures. I saw them.”
“That’s-”
He quickly raised his finger, exasperated, angry, done.
“The first picture is you holding a newborn, and…” He swallowed painfully, his throat gone dry. It always does when he’s upset. “And the father in that picture, with his arm around you, isn’t me.”
When I couldn't deny it, he nodded like he knew all along our marriage would end.
We were happy. We really were. George and I had managed to overcome the typical breakdown that often comes with raising children. Only since last Halloween had distance been made by me.
I should have told him as soon as it started.
“Girls!” he called as I followed him down the stairs to the front hall of our lovely home. We’d scrimped and sacrificed to buy and keep this place, our dream by the lake. He’d been so proud. I couldn’t tell him I wanted to leave the first night sleeping there.
Cara and Ella protested through play, ignoring the adults, continuing to jump on an old box they’d long since flattened. Rays from the western sun placed my daughters into an inspired, hallowed light, and I started to cry. He was going to take my babies away.
George opened the door, intending, I’m sure, to drop the suitcase in the car before returning to physically carry the girls out.
But he hesitated in the doorway.
“George?”
The suitcase fell with a solid thud on the floor. “There’s no way,” he said.
“What?”
“There’s no way,” he said, with emphasis on the last word, “you would have had time for…this…”
Not defining "this" as cheating was progress. “Yes!”
He glared, quieting my desperate enthusiasm. I wasn’t off the hook. “Tell me. The truth.”
“I can’t.”
He reached for the suitcase.
“No, not because I don’t want to,” I protested. “I don’t know what’s happening!” I sat on the carpeted steps and stared through blurred vision at my trembling hands. The shriek I’d filled the house with - “happening!” - had put a halt to the box's obliteration. Cara and Ella hesitated for a few seconds before leaping into action.
Cara, the oldest, six, punched her dad in the buttocks. “You have to be nice!”
Ella, four, sat beside me and patted my trembling hands. “It’s okay, mummy.”
Such lovely daughters. Nothing like the boys in those photos when they were this age.
George grasped Cara's wrists and gently walked her back into the house, using his foot to kick the suitcase from the swing of the front door.
"It's alright, girls," he said with weak resolve. "Go and play."
"No!" Cara shouted. She kicked at her father and he pulled her close into a bearhug. Gradually, the girls calmed and were convinced to return to the box in the front room.
"Kirsty," George said, "you have to tell me." He sat down on the step beside me. "Please." I would do anything to take away the hurt in his eyes. "Please."
"I can't. But… I can write it down. Maybe." I took out my phone. We shared Google Drive. When I made a new document, he reluctantly started his phone. The man was a dream. He watched his screen, and waited patiently for my words to appear.
Without preamble, I returned to the awful moment when it all began: a strange and disturbing dream. Words came like an infection from beneath a torn scab. The wound had been opened. Nothing could stop this now.
Sex with another man has never been a desire of mine. I love George. He loves me.
Plus, the man in my dream was a stranger, and not particularly handsome. He has a plain face set to unwavering boredom and unkempt male pattern baldness. Our dream sex felt obligatory, just something we had to do.
I awoke on the wrong side of midnight. November 1st and I was craving ice cream instead of the girls' gathered candy. The freezer left by the previous homeowners came with unopened ice cream. Freezer burned or not, I wanted some.
After retrieving a spoon from the kitchen, I intended to destroy a brick of neopolitan. He waited in his flannel pajamas, barefoot on the concrete floor. His arms were crossed.
"Cravings?" he said.
I dropped the spoon. It clattered down the basement steps. Before I could run away, he disappeared like someone had erased him from head to foot in one clean sweep.
Had to be a dream. That's what I told myself. The spoon stayed in the basement until daylight. Ghost or nightmare, there was laundry to do the next day.
I crossed the concrete floor fast and only felt safer when I'd closed the door to the more modern laundry room. Never thought builder's grade tiles and track lights would make me feel anything but sad.
His voice caught me sorting.
"Kirsty!"
I dropped the cup of detergent all over the floor.
"Shit."
I came out of the laundry room, figuring George had been looking for me in uncharacteristically rude fashion. He hated speaking between rooms. Shouting throughout the house was highly impolite. It must have been important, I figured.
As soon as I stepped onto the bare concrete, however, deep sadness, the kind that seems to physically leech the strength from your body, dominated the room.
"Hello?" I don't know why I said that. The basement is a low ceilinged rectangle. There are no hiding spots except for the laundry room I'd come from. After a deep breath, I walked briskly to the stairs.
"Any day now," a raspy voice breathed into my ear. I jolted and slipped forward, falling and clipping my chin off a step. It made my teeth click painfully. Nobody there, of course. I ran upstairs and George had gone outside with the girls to play hide and seek.
I wanted to tell him. He looked so happy. It's hard to convey in words the kind of smile he showed me through the window. Imagine contentment mixed with unreserved joy and hope. Yes, it's difficult to picture. So few of us can ever have such a moment. Sort of like finding a natural view completely untouched by humanity. Beyond rare and precious.
I’m rambling now to avoid writing about what followed. The point is I couldn’t tell him. I hoped it’d go away and stop.
But, of course, it didn’t, and things got much worse.
I awoke in a great deal of pain. Having already given birth to children, the feeling was familiar. Despite getting up and gasping, George continued to snore in our bed. He’s a deep sleeper, but a quick and early riser. I’ve never heard him complain about getting out of bed either, especially when there’s an emergency.
I might have woken him up but I was disoriented and confused. Part of me believed I was still pregnant with Ella. It wasn’t until I’d gone all the way to the kitchen to avoid waking up the girls, that my brain caught up: Girls. Plural. Ella was asleep in her bed upstairs.
“Ohhhhhhhh shiiiiiiiiiiit.” I knew the signs of labour. This couldn’t be happening. “Ohhhhhhhhh.”
I was definitely going to wake everyone up if this continued.
My phone was upstairs by my bedside table. We don’t have a landline. I should have called 911. I should have woken up George.
Instead, I went downstairs where I could vocalize pain without disturbing anyone. Such a pathetically passive response. But that’s how I was raised. Keep it down, don't you frown.
His hands seized mine as soon as I descended the last step. Serious and bald without dignity is how to best describe his physical appearance. Cold and cruel is what he is. The lights turned off and, in the perfect darkness of the basement, he was all that I could see.
He produces a red light from his body somehow but his touch is literally frosty.
"Kristy, it's time," he said. No joy there. Just straight facts. Something was coming. I was going to give birth to it. In the dull red glow of his being, the first boy came.
"His name is Hadad," the man said, placing a large, infant boy with a lot of hair and, I swear, a hint of beard, on the bare concrete. Hadad looked like a three month old they use as newborns on TV. He didn't cry. He hardly seemed to breathe as his dark eyes roamed the darkness. His light resembled the man's, a less intense red.
I felt another contraction, and winced.
"She comes next," the man said.
I felt so weak. "Who are you?" I asked him.
At last, he smiled and I wished he hadn't. It made me feel small, insignificant, and beneath his concern. "You know who I am," he said. "I'm your husband."
Pain wracked my entire body. Something didn't feel right. The birth of Cara and Ella had been without difficulty.
"Push," my "husband" ordered. "She is upset with you, and will kill you if you don't get her out now."
"It has to be a nightmare," I told him. Sweat poured in streams down my face. The unborn "she" in question writhed and damaged my insides. I screamed. I couldn't help it.
"Push!"
I obeyed and the second boy spilled onto the bare concrete, coated in blood and dust.
"It's a boy," I said.
The man looked displeased. "The body is male. She is Hebat. No wonder she is angry." Like the other infant, Hebat appeared aware of her surroundings and had far too much motor control for a newborn. The light pouring from her body was dull silver. Her eye sockets were two pits of concentrated despair. I had to look away.
The babies were pressed into my arms.
The man stretched out beside me. "Open your eyes and smile." I resisted. "Do it. Now." What choice did I have? The flash from his cell blinded me. They were all gone by the time my sight recovered. Only the sweat remained as evidence of the ordeal.
It had to have been a hallucination. Some very bad food poisoning maybe. The source could be as simple as an undigested bit of beef, a blot of mustard, a crumb of cheese, a fragment of underdone potato. I had been stress eating since we'd moved in. I stood up and took some comfort in a Charles Dickens' reference.
"More of gravy than of grave about you," I said. My words seemed consumed by the dreadful weight of the air. "Whatever you are."
Whatever you are: something bad in any case. At best, I'd hallucinated prolonged and traumatic labour and needed medical attention. Yet, when I limped up the basement stairs, all thoughts of waking George vanished. There on the kitchen island sat a propped frame containing the photograph taken only moments ago.
The man looked happy. Only Hadad appeared in this picture, which meant another one was somewhere. I didn't panic. I worried more about what George would think if he saw the photos. I had to find them all.
Hebat and his father and I were mounted in a dark wood frame by the master bedroom. It'd be the first thing anyone saw if they woke up. I plucked it off the wall and, together with the first photo, tucked it under some blankets in the dresser we'd shoved in the small walk-in closet.
You might not believe this, but I went straight to sleep after. I climbed under the blanket in my sweaty pajamas, shut my eyes, and didn't have enough time to deny what had happened. I was unconscious until morning.
George placed a coffee on my nightstand. That's what I remember. He rubbed my feet while I slowly awoke. The girls were watching TV downstairs, munching on apple slices. There was forty minutes still before we had to seriously consider getting ready to take Cara to school.
George would drop her off on his way to work downtown. He chose his hours and always chose convenience for his wife and kids. Ella and I planned to spend the morning gardening. Then we would nap much of the afternoon away until George and Cara returned. A life so perfect is so very rare.
I didn't want to spoil things with a very convincing nightmare. Besides, I felt fine. Not so good that I wanted to look in the dresser to see if those photos really were there, but not ill. So I remained silent again.
November started fine. Idyllic days and nights filled with laughter and joy and television. Just as I started to believe in the dream we'd made, they came again.
The wail of a child's hunger is a powerful call for a parent. When it's a chorus, even of two, it cannot be ignored. Only I awoke to Hadad and Hebat's cries for their "mother" from the basement.
Half asleep, I drifted into the kitchen and searched for their milk bottles. When no bottles could be found, I remembered they were newborns. Milk swelled in my breasts and made my nipples ache. Just like when Cara or Ella would awaken in the night. It was a relief to feed them.
But what the fuck was I doing?
I was acting like the man in the basement and the devil babies were mine. It'd been less than a week since Halloween and that horrible nightmare illusion. I had already taken on the beleaguered newborn mother role without question.
Their cries intensified and flayed the weak resistance of exhausted reasoning.
Don't wake George. Don't wake my babies, my real babies.
"What took you so long?" the man critized, his voice monotone, the question unrhetorical.
"I… was sleeping. I went to the fridge first." Under his severe gaze, I stopped in the midst of the dark room. Hadad had quieted. Hebat cooed as if laughing at her own joke. I couldn't see them because the lights were off. They liked the dark better. Somehow I knew that about them and him.
"You should sleep down here," he said. "A mother should always be close to her babies."
The statement was nonsense but not altogether wrong. I wanted to be close to my babies, the daughters sleeping in bliss upstairs, away from the evil fermentation in the basement.
"Kirsty," he said. "Are you listening?" His hand touched the small of my back. The gentleness surprised me. I squawked and flinched away. "What’s wrong with you? They're hungry." He pressed on my shoulders until I sat on the cold floor.
They came from the shadows, already walking. I wanted to go, but I knew he wouldn't allow it. He pulled my cat t-shirt off over my head and their fierce mouths suckled, relieving the pressure of excess breast milk quickly. It felt physically good and psychologically alien.
I looked down at them once and immediately regretted it. Their emanated light had intensified to a point where perception of them hurt.
Each time I blinked my eyes were drawn to some isolated part of their bodies. The vision got closer to the point of disgust. Everything is gross if you're close enough. There is no beauty under a microscope. If you think there is then you're not using the right magnification.
Hebat's eye drew me in. At first, I saw the dark sphere, and then the strands of her eyelashes. Her gravity kept pulling until the creatures that live in eyelashes were revealed: Demodex folliculorum. I looked the microscopic horrors up.
The babies had more parasites than any child should. They wanted to show me and could somehow do so.
I asked him about it. "Why are they showing me these worms?"
He smiled, contemptuously as usual. "Trying to impress mother. Neither of them understand your horror and insignificance. You are the ant who knows they're an ant. Lucky you. They think you will be proud of the life their corporeal forms produce and host. Give them a few hours. It will pass."
"Why are you doing this to me?"
"I'm not sure what you mean. We're married. Now, prepare to smile." His cell reappeared and I noted the lack of features; it might have been a singed rectangle of spent firewood. He frowned when I failed to smile. "Smile, Kirsty. These are your children."
I managed to stave off the tears and hold the babies close. The smile was more difficult. In the inevitable aftermath of their sudden disappearance, the frames depicted an exhausted, wrinkly woman smiling painfully. It took a second to recognize myself.
The things in the basement sapped my strength. I looked dehydrated, beleaguered. The scale in the bathroom said I'd dropped six pounds. I'd weighed myself the morning before.
"Whoa, you've lost weight," George noted, thinking I'd be pleased. "This place has been so good for us, eh?'
To produce another smile proved as draining as the previous night. "Y-yes," I stuttered too late for him to ignore.
"Hey," he said, touching my forearm.
I flinched.
"Whoa, you okay? What's wrong?"
I should have told him. "Nothing. Bad sleep. A nightmare. I'll be fine."
A lie is an agreement. George wanted to agree, I think. He wanted life to be fine because he was happy for once. We struggled so hard before we came to Bridal Veil Lake. It was supposed to be our dream.
Guilty if I told him the truth. Guilty because I didn't. I began to resent his happiness, though he had done nothing but be the wonderful man he'd always been.
To Cara and Ella I became a body in motion, No brain left to guide them away from harm or answer their questions about nature and the universe.
"I don't know." That's what I told them often.
So they began to treat me like a kind of butler.
"Can I have some juice, please?"
"Sure, sweetheart."
"Mommy, can I have a snack?"
"Of course." And I'd run off to fetch it.
"Cookies."
"Yes, dear."
When Christmas came, I had two and they induced the same level of joy. Visiting the basement to feed and nurture Hebat and Hadad became a nightly occurrence. I'd learned to awaken, if I could get to sleep at all, and go quietly.
He berated me severely if I missed a night, and there were subtle threats made casually.
"I may have to squash you yet," he said, his tone as deep and cold as always.
"It won't happen again," I promised. "They’re getting big." In fact, they were no longer infants. Both had grown to the approximate age of six or seven in a few months. Still, they never spoke. Their dark eyes watched me as they ate food from the kitchen upstairs, food I'd hidden from my family.
"More meat," the man demanded.
"Of course." And I ran to the freezer and gave them frozen sausages in the package. They never complained or demanded the food be prepared a different way. No objections from my "husband" either.
Hebat tore the styrofoam and plastic wrap away and flattened the row of sausages stuck together between powerful molars. Hadad contented itself with licking them like a popsicle.
I'd stay until the photo. Then they'd release me by vanishing. Always with an exhausted breath, I'd trudge up the stairs and search for the frames and hide them in the same place.
They only smiled in the pictures. At no other time did they express any kind of emotion unless indifference counts.
My own children and husband weren't doing much better. Their concerns about my fatigue and ruminating slowly ceased as I repeated the excuse: I’m just tired. It'll pass.
Of course, I did not know when the nightmare would stop.
"When will it end?" I asked him one night, while Hebat and Hadad exercised like they had a mission.
"What do you mean?" he said.
I was surprised he answered. He usually didn't. "This. This. When can I go back to normal and not come down every night? I'm so very tired."
He frowned and I thought some punishment must be coming. Instead, he looked more confused. "I don't understand. You aren't happy? Your children grow into power and strength and will take their place in the world. They will be great and you - you, of all the tiny things, made that happen. Ask yourself what you want out of life, and see if Hebat and Haddad aren't your answer."
Too many words, all at once, for an exhausted mother. I didn't speak for the rest of the night. The infernal trio vanished, and the latter moments of the ritual I carried out with his challenge in mind.
I want my children to be strong, happy, and safe.
"Juice," Cara demanded the next morning, a Saturday, while she watched cartoons.
"Get it yourself!" I hissed, from tired to angry in a second.
"But I can't," Cara accurately pointed out. She didn't look away from the TV. Looking at me wasn't safe, and she knew it. Her and Ella held hands and sat a little straighter. It broke my heart. What had I done?
George came downstairs, attracted by my shouting. "What’s going on?"
Empathy became sadness, and the constant burden rekindled to anger swiftly. "Just children treating me like a servant."
He smiled. "Ah, yes, and how are the royal princesses this morning?"
His levity irked me. "You would know if you didn't sleep in so much."
The smile vanished from his face, and instead of the fight I seemed to want, he mumbled a quiet apology and joined the girls. They climbed onto him as he wrapped them into a cuddle.
"What are we watching?" George restarted his smile, his calm, for the girls. I hated myself. It had to end. Tonight.
After another dreary day of going through the motions, and the girls and George had fallen asleep, I went to the kitchen and chose the knife I thought sharpest.
"Kirsty," he said, his voice a whisper rising from the depths of the house.
"Coming," I whispered back.
"Mom," said another voice, a girl's, and I knew that Hebat had, at last, found herself and the wholeness of her being had been corrected.
I started to cry. I went downstairs and there she was with her brother and her father. He looked tired but some of the grimness had cracked to allow the first real contentment I've ever seen him express.
"Is that for the cake?" he asked. "We already have one."
I remembered the sharp knife. "Meat," I said. "There’s ham in the freezer."
He nodded, seeming to accept the answer.
"Mom," Hebat said, "Do you think I'm…" She gestured to herself, her face, and her body, and I understood the question, born from doubt and a desire to be validated.
I pulled her close. "You are the most beautiful girl in the whole world." We cried together. Hadad cut into a poorly made, asymmetrical cake by the light of his aura. No one cared that he did so on the floor. I brought out the ham from the fridge and we ate slices with our hands.
"It's almost done," he said. "They’re nearly grown. They are strong, and they are happy. You've done a good job, Kirsty." He watched our children fight to smear icing on each other's faces. "I'm sorry if I was mean. Or cold. I've never done this before." And he meant raising children. "It was the hardest, scariest thing anyone can try. I shouldn't have blamed you for… Hebat… It wasn't your fault."
Before I could pat his hand, he and the kids vanished. Darkness so familiar couldn't extinguish a new fear. I went upstairs and found the last frame. I held my daughter in the photo, my beautiful Hebat. He must have taken the photo without my notice.
I took it upstairs but couldn't bring myself to hide it.
I didn't see that one, George wrote into the document.
I forgot he was watching.
He typed again: Are you saying there is something in the basement?
Yes, I replied.
He stirred in the living room. I hadn't moved from the stairs, but I could tell by his stomping how angry he'd become. All of his negative, violent traits he saved for those in the world who would harm his family. George the Protector was fearsome to behold.
But he had no chance against my other husband.
"Come out! Come out you coward!" George bellowed. At first, nothing happened. The moment before calamity, even when the specific consequences aren't known, is still in slow motion. He carried on shouting. The girls rushed into the hall and didn’t hesitate to investigate.
"No!" I shouted. "Cara! Ella!"
Their feet padded down the steps. A violent commotion followed, screams and raging voices, both deep and childishly shrill.
The most unsettling quiet followed.
I chewed through the fear and the horror tearing me apart and finally moved.
No evidence of violence could be seen from the top of the stairs. The concrete looked bare and dusty and the light revealed nothing more. They were gone, all of them.
"Hebat," I whispered. "Cara? George?"
Him, I thought of, the nameless husband and felt no hint of his presence. He'd always been there. I know that now. It had nothing to do with the house. His absence was felt more than his insidious presence. Yet, I felt no relief. George and the girls were gone. I sat on the floor and cried for all my missing children.
When I finally emerged from the basement, the whole house had been filled with night. Their photos were everywhere. The others were upstairs. I gathered them on the kitchen island. How could I explain any of this to the police?
I needed help. I called my parents. It took twenty minutes before my father picked up.
"Kirsty? What's wrong?"
"Dad," I whimpered. "George is gone. Cara. Ella."
"What? What did you say?"
"They’re gone, dad. George. The girls are gone."
I heard his bed springs protest as he rolled out of bed. My mom said something I couldn't hear, and he shushed her.
"Kirsty," he said, "are you alright? Are you hurt? Are you in danger?"
Why was it so hard to understand? "Dad. George is gone."
"Kirsty, who the hell is George?"
It was my turn to be confused. "He's my- you know him. My husband…"
"Kirsty," he said very slowly, "are you on drugs? Did you take something?"
"No. Are you?"
"Excuse me?"
I hung up.
I have their photos. I have all of their photos. That's what I brought to George's parents before the sun rose. They wouldn't open the door and spoke to me through an intercom.
"George is gone," I said.
"We'll call the police."
"This is your son. These are your granddaughters."
I heard my mother-in-law say, "Who is she?"
"We don't have a son," my father-in-law said. "Go away."
I left.
Back to the house. Our dream sat empty and I live there, but none of the people in my family photos are my family.
I remember but the world never does. My parents think I'm ill and that I used AI to create the family I apparently never had.
How did I buy the house without a job or income? With deep concern for my mental health, they showed me a news story. I had won the lottery the day I turned eighteen.
His influence there, payment for services rendered.
A lie is an agreement.
What had I agreed to? I'm afraid I know the answer: I never wanted a family.
God help me. God help them.
I don't know what to do with these pictures.

There is some potentially triggering content in this story
Did you know that memories aren’t real? No? Not really, you can misremember or change a memory without ever knowing you have. It’s a sinisterly important fact for me, some would be worried but I find it freeing, I can share this memory without fear or shame. I most likely haven’t remembered what happened as it happened, and considering what happened on the 9th of May all those years ago, I’d say it’s likely I don’t remember. It’s a relief really that memories aren’t real; I have always hated talking about my memories, about myself in general. In my experience, people are not interested in what I have to say, unless it relates to them or it makes me look less than them. Maybe it’s all in my head, everything is really. I’m not the most people friendly these days, I think you could call me a cynic, I call myself a cynic, but I’ll try and keep true to this memory, without the influence of hindsight and my cynicism.
It’s about that puddle and the 9th of May. Why the specifically the 9th of May? Well I don’t actually know why that day, it could have easily been the 8th, the difference is hours. I do wish I could change the setting; it’s almost poetic, I could always be misremembering, it was a long time ago, and I have been told many times since that I have a flair for the dramatic. A dark and rainy night, with the wind howling, well that’s a backdrop I can enjoy.
I’m sorry. Let me start at the beginning for the sake of clarity, otherwise I’ll never finish what I start to say, and I’ll never say what I need to say.
Once upon a time I went to a party. I enjoyed drinking back then, a healthy amount for most people, but for me, a dangerous amount, I had a tendency to get inside my head when I drink.
No again I’m sorry, that’s not the memory I want to share, I want to tell the 9th of May, I think this memory will be harder to tell than I first thought.
It was a birthday party for a friend, well a friend of a friend, I knew two people there, I was speaking my wisdom at the party, normally people would just nod and slide away from that kind of wisdom, but this was during the university days, everyone is intelligent, insightful and understanding at university. We few were the self-proclaimed leaders of the future, and so understood all, my green wisdom spewed with no start or finish was always well received. I remember some of what I said, you can walk into any pub or club and listen to the drunkest person in the room, they would have spewed the same wisdom, wisdom that I thought at the time was original and wise, but really was just old sentiment repeated with new words. Despite what I wanted at the time, wisdom comes with age, not self-assurance.
But this time was my spring years, that sweet age just before I faced reality, the real harsh reality of life, I had just begun to explore the world inside my bubble, and my exploration lead me onto the well-trodden path of clubbing and drinking, the respectable rebellion. I began as I always did, by talking, talking of going to some event, a lecture, a monument, an underground pub, of all the things I could do that evening, the places I could go, I and the other future leaders of the world, the potential was ours to squander. This ended as it always would, in that night club, the very same one I would always go to, my slice of reality.
Apologies my dear reader, I have a cynical mind, it’s hard to keep at bay, I’ll admit that I haven’t really tried to keep it from being an influence here, I can’t seem to help myself, but this next part of the memory is less clear, but I can relay it with a real, shame filled joy. This part of the memory feels more like a dream now, I don’t have the energy to do what I did that night, I don’t have the energy for much these days, I think that makes the memory more fond to me, drinking, dancing, worry free. Maybe fond was the wrong word to use here, jealous is more fitting, jealous of the innocence and time I wasted. The power of a drink back then was incredible; I miss the feeling, that burn in the mouth, the after taste, the saliva, the heat in your chest, and that feeling of being unstoppable. Of course drink has more than one effect, and while I’d like to believe my cloudy memory is caused by false and misremembered facts, or by the merging of a hundred single nights into one endless night, that’s too poetic. No, the memory is clouded by the amount I drunk that night, and many years after as I tried to forget this very memory.
Yet despite this, even now, the fragments still makes me smile, whether it’s because I enjoy the memories of the innocence I held then, or I’m jealous of them I cannot say, I’m a self-proclaimed cynic, not a philosopher or a psychologist, I’ll leave the analysis to better men than me. Instead I’ll try to give you an idea of what happened in the club without my opinions bleeding through. This night in the club was no different from all the others, they all start the same. Moving around the club in a daze, my head feeling big and unsteady, but also incredibly light and empty, my fingertips warm, my feet numb, I remember dancing to songs, dancing on tables, screaming out lyrics, smoking outside, stealing a bottle of champagne, fixing my hair in a mirror, buying a round of drinks, the lights flashing, the bass thumping, fog spewing, standing on my own staring at the old chandelier, crawling on the floor looking for money, I remember walking out the club and how quiet everything seemed in comparison while I tried to keep standing in the night air, looking at my hands, how bright the lights were, how blurry the world seemed and how beautiful the moon was that night.
Here, here the memory starts to come back into focus, the bright street lights and night air always helped me to sober up at night, plus I’ve always enjoyed being outside in the dark night or under the moonlight, I find it comforting to stand under the moon, it’s as if I’m suddenly alive.
As I came to my senses my memory sharpened, but that’s all, my drunkenness remained. I was with a couple of friends, some who I had been at the party with and some who I met in the club, we got food, and we spent such a long time talking, our conversations were mixed, some happy, some sad, all just more green wisdom. Much later on, me and my friend, maybe the one I went to the party with (it might have been someone else, who’s to say?), walked back towards our homes not because we wanted to walk as we said over and over to our screeching friends, but because the taxi was expensive and we couldn’t afford it, we lived in different places but close enough that we could walk together. Its funny to think of this moment, back then I had the money for a taxi, but I wouldn’t spend it on a taxi, now that I’m a poor man, I’ll spend money I don’t have on taxis I don’t need, apparently the youthful idiot I was, was wiser than I am now in some regards after all.
I don’t remember walking with my friend, or rather, I know where we went, how long it took and what we probably talked about, I had walked this walk so many times before this night, and so many after, they are all the same memory to me now, I enjoyed the walking in the night, the exhilaration of that has stayed with me more than the company on those walks. I always used to break it down into three segments, and so that’s how it comes back to me now. Leaving the club, past the library, past the race track, over the river across the bridge, up the steep hill, past the first university gates (which were actually the back gates), round the campus on the public roads, to the second gates (which are the main gates), a long walk with company, a painfully short one with alone. He was still living on the Campus my friend, I lived about ten minutes away from the campus, I said goodbye and goodnight, we agreed to speak in the morning if we survived. He went through the back gates and headed towards the halls, I continued on my way, onto the second segment of the walk past the gates. I was on my own for the rest of the walk; this happened a lot, both during my university days and many years after. I lived on the opposite side of the campus to most of my friends so this part of the walk was always mine alone, even when I started the night with the people I lived with. I didn’t mind, it was nice to enjoy the feeling of being drunk without having to show I was drunk, a few assured moments of peace under the moon light. I never deviated from my path, round the outside of the campus, opposite some housing estates, till I got next to a little shop that sold cheap, bottles of spirit. I would always stop for a moment to wish that shop was open.
Then it was down that straight road, the final part of my walk, big houses on either side, well-lit but not busy. It looked like it was a five minute walk but once you started it felt like it was never ending, and at the end of the night, in the night air, it was never ending. Sometimes I would run, sprint to see if I could make it to the end of that road without stopping, something to break the monotony of walking, other times to tire myself out so I could fall straight to sleep, and sometimes just because I wanted to run. Nearly every day for two years I walked down that road to go clubbing shopping or studying, to go for a meal, see a film, meet a friend, it was a constant part of my life, an unwanted companion and witness. Walking down that road, reader I don’t think I’m able to describe how I hated that road, but I always walked down that road, there were other ways I could walk, quicker ways, but I always took that road.
This particular night, actually at this point I suppose it was the morning. I was walking down that road in the rain and dark between the streetlights, bitterly cold staring straight into a street light walking on the right hand side. I’d always walk on the right hand side, I’m not sure why, whenever I walked on the left I had a bad day. Except for on the 9th, the 9th is the one exception.
I have no clue where the car came from; I didn’t see it until after the jump, just a blurred headlight, a door, a wing mirror. The driver, the make, the model, even the color is a mystery. It appeared and left like a phantom. There was no thought, I moved forward, but I don’t recognize that I was the one who leapt forward.
I remember the fall. I fell backwards. As if my strings had been cut and I fell limp into the puddle, there was no splash as I landed in that puddle.
The feeling I felt in that puddle, it was something I had never felt before or since, an overwhelming pull I was powerless against, I pray to never to feel it again.
Should I describe it? How to describe it? I have to describe it. I can describe the fear it inspired, but not yet, it’s easier to describe fear, but this isn’t meant to be easy, this memory never is. No the actual feeling, that’s harder, It wasn’t a happy emotion, not a powerful emotion, not a sad emotion. Hopelessness? Yes it was hopelessness. Nothing more, nothing less. No hope for the future, no point to anything, I think it is possibly the only time I felt hopelessness. You can’t live without hope.
I couldn’t stand could I? No, I wouldn’t have laid there if I could, to begin with I didn’t want to, didn’t care to, my legs wouldn’t move, arms were like stone, every muscle in my body cramped, I could feel everything. My eyes were open, rain hitting them, rain dripped from my lips to my chin, it tickled. The fingertips were warm, hair moved, stand by stand off my face. Puddle water lapped against my cheek, socks soaking up water, shirt getting tighter and heavier, jacket sleeves filling up with water, keys and wallet resting on my leg. I just lay there staring at nothing, seeing nothing.
I think to begin with I was gone; that everything I held myself up to and was trying to achieve, had suddenly left me, except my memories, memories that weren’t real. For the longest time that’s how I was, empty, even down to my emotions there was nothing I laid there empty. I could feel my body, but I couldn’t move it, I wasn’t welcome, I felt awkward, out of place. I’m not sure how long I lay there, dead (I had to be dead because I had no hope), it could have been a minute; it could have been hours, days or years.
The light was wrong. It was dark, only the light seemed to come from a streetlight, the sky was empty, the moon had left me.
Some portion of my mind came back, I started crying, I had failed, failed at even this simple task, I lay for a long time waiting, waiting for something else to come, I should have gotten up, but I just lay there waiting, I was muttering my secret . If that had been my mind for the rest of my days, I would have spent those days in that puddle unmoving; declared brain dead on the spot. The moment raises such disgust in me, I grieved my most important failure, hated my greatest success.
I’d like to lie here, to say anything other than the truth, to save myself the pain and the shame, but I said I would try to tell this memory as it was, not as I wish it, so while I’d like to say I had a vison, a burst of strength, that hope returned to me, I can’t, because in reality it was two words that saved me.
Two words. The Two words that cut through it all. I’m still not sure if I just heard them from somewhere else, said it myself or imagined it afterwards. “Get up” it was angry, disgusted, the words were almost spat out, “Get up”.
Those words have burned themselves into my mind, and affected me every day since. The fear and inspiration it awoke in my mind, throat pricked and butterflies in my stomach, anxiety. Next to the hopelessness it seemed like life had spoken, with a voice that wielded fear.
I took control of my body then……
No dear reader I didn’t…. I am almost finished, I have to be true to the memory, I can’t spare myself now, it’s too late for me to take it back.
I didn’t take control, I wasn’t there yet, it took me such a long time to regain control again, but it gave my eyes back to me for I had seen nothing long before the fall. I watched as fear drove me, took the strings of my life and moved them, dragging my shell in the dust, screaming.
I cursed everyone and everything, hated myself for what had happened, Oh and the fear, fear of the voice, fear of dying, the fear that someone would see me at this moment, see me and misunderstand me, I didn’t want to die,(I don’t want to die now) I was terrified that I had tried to die, terrified I didn’t know where that urge came from, that moment of energy and intention that was actioned without the consent of my mind, that I was powerless against.
Fear drove me, commanded me out of that puddle. I’d gone insane, truly, completely, utterly mad, I was dragging myself to the curb, screaming, crying, laughing, I ripped my finger nails out, shredded my palms and hands into bloody messes my knees into bruised pulp, my head and face cut by being dragged along.
I heaved up that curb fucking curb, shaking. I started to stand and scramble forward, to escape that spot, that puddle on that road. I stood up hunched and bent, buffet by the wind, laughing, crying, waving my hands in all directions spitting, shouting, wiping blood on my jeans, I was staggering side to side shaking, soaked to the bone, I was mad, insane, disgraced and humiliated.
Why say more? I won’t go further, there is so much more but to understand it…. This was not the place for such memories. That moment all those years ago, was not the eureka moment, the next day I turned this into a joke, a story to tell.
To this day, I cannot tell you what really happened that night all those years ago, as I sit here writing and rewriting the words over and over. I don’t think I’ll ever understand it. I wonder what would happened if I could relive that night again, doing everything again now. This was the time that my bubble began to burst and the real world hit me like a wave. Perhaps it was just a moment of growing pains. I’ve said it before, I’m only a cynic, all I have left is the memory of the 9th of May, a memory I visit daily.