Hace unos días (el miércoles para ser exacta), estaba hablando con mi madre, teníamos una charla bastante amena, lo cual es algo raro, ya que generalmente nuestras pláticas son cortas y rápidas, así como sin mucha importancia o seriedad, ya que si nos alargamos, habrán lágrimas o de emotividad o de enojo, pero, está vez estaba siendo distinto, era increíble, ya que genuinamente sentía que estaba entrando en confianza con ella y tenía una postura bastante abierta , así como comprensiva de ciertas partes de mi vida, que por lo general está en desacuerdo, así que me anime a contarle un secreto que le tenía a familia desde que tenía cinco años.
Normalmente no me gusta ser muy expresiva o más bien, no me gusta contarle muchos detalles de mi vida personal a mi familia, en especial a mi madre, porque siempre resulta en un caos el cual no es fácil de lidiar y después lo olvidan como si fuera cualquier cosa, entonces dicho esto y aprovechando que estos últimos dos meses mi madre a intentando genuinamente acercarse a mi le empecé a contar una pequeña historia de como su niño, desde los cinco años quería ser niña.
Yo sabía que eso iba a ser muy impactante, sin embargo, en algún punto lo iba a saber y que mejor que en un momento tan cercano entre ambas, yo creí que si bien tendría sus opiniones, está se las guardaría y para mí sorpresa....explotó como no la había visto en años, desde un cuestionamiento de mi historia y mis sentimientos, hasta comentarios que cruzaban la intolerancia a un odio que jamás la había visto expresar, termine con lágrimas y con ambas llendo a dormir con una amarga sensación.
En mis 19 años de vida he aprendido que mi madre siempre va a estar en desacuerdo con cada decisión que tome, pero, también, siempre tenía cierta seguridad que después tendría su comprensión o bueno, un intento de este para apoyarme en tomar dicha desición, seguir o dejarla y para mí deleite....no fue este el caso, los siguientes dos días cuando ella y yo nos encontrábamos sola, ella aprovechaba en sacar el tema y más que intentar hablar conmigo, solo me daba sermón tras sermón interminable de como eso estaba mal desde su punto de vista, de que era algo ilógico y señal de que la percepción que tenía de la vida y de mi estaba tan mal como confundida y que apesar de tener ya 19 años, yo seguía siendo una adolescente sin saber que onda con mi vida.
Honestamente la hubiera perdonado e ignorando todos los comentarios transfobicos y homofóbicos que dijo, así como intolerantes, si no fuera porque empezó directamente a atacarme y en más de un sentido, desde mi forma de vestir, hasta a mí inteligencia, reclamándome que no tenía derecho para decidir sobre mi cuerpo, pues y cito en sus palabras "naciste con un cuerpo masculino, es lo que se te dio y vas a morir así con el", de una forma tan brusca como agresiva, hasta quedé impactada, pero, eso no era todo y es que aún había un último "argumento", del porque yo no podía ni debía pensar en hacer algo.
Desde decir comentarios que ya rayaban en lo ofensivo contra mi autoestima y valor como persona, hasta decir que literalmente todos me rechazarían, comenzando por mi familia, mencionando a cada uno de los integrantes de esta como me iban a criticar y abandonar, como allá afuera en el mundo se iban a reír de mi, me iban a criticar hasta atentar contra mi vida, ¿y mi novia?, bueno, ahorita me apoyaba, pero, en cuanto tomara el tratamiento me iba a dejar, pues le gustó yo, no le gusta la mujer yo y si queremos niños, ¿de que sirve adoptar si yo los puedo hacer desde ya?, ya que en cuanto me mire después del tratamiento me dejara por no ser normal (aunque ella fue la primera persona a quien se lo dije y me aceptó de inmediato, de hecho, me ha apoyado en todo este proceso y hasta me compra ropa, maquillaje y otras cositas más para que pueda usar); se que parece una exageración, pero, créame que tuve que censura y resumir su discurso, el cual termino con un "Creo que hay que buscar alguna terapia para ti, porque esto no es muy normal y al menos yo no creo que esté bien".
.... Sip, así termino.
Honestamente ya había estado muy acostumbrada a las constantes críticas, cuestionamientos, comentarios, acciones y demás cosas duras de mi madre hacia mi, sin embargo, jamás creí que llegaría a escuchar un odio genuino hacia mi y hacia quien quería ser, honestamente, siempre creí que por más momentos y situaciones estúpidos que hubiera entre nosotras, nuestra relación siempre se iba a mantener en un límite, pero, esto al menos para mí sobre paso todo.
Es un poco gracioso, recuerdo que ella toda la vida me recriminó como no le tenía confianza y parecía que hasta tenía miedo de contarle todo de mi, y es verdad, claro que lo tenía, pero, hasta ayer fue cuando descubrí que existe una verdadera razón para no contarle nada y yo sé que es la eterna discusión madre, pero, woah, debo admitir que tengo ciertos sentimientos encontrados y ¡no lo se!...siento que si quiero realmente hacer las cosas que he deseado desde hace tanto tiempo, inevitablemente tendré que cortar relación con mi familia, ya que en serio, si así se puso mi madre, ¿que puedo esperar del resto?, y no lo se, honestamente creo que más que enfadada o triste, solo estoy decepcionada.

A toot, a line, a burning pause-
Gripped anguishly in praise
The snap and cackle; due applause
Betwitched arise from haze

Vibrations come, vibrations go
Plucked cogently in dream
‘Til torrent splash and worry flow
The voice of fate must scream

And as the soul is cleansed with lie
And thoughts purged in the bin
The violent laughter turns to cries
When peace is sopped with sin

Oh brain, oh nerve, oh depthed desire
Sunk down to never free
Synapse flicker and conspire
Eyes black, go dark and see
1 - 2

This storm was never meant for us.
Yet the anticipation of your kiss kicks up a tornado in my heart. As our tongues dance in unison, we hear voices echo "F5 incoming, brace for impact".
Your coy green-eyed gaze tethers me to the earth as our bodies crash together in the squall. Lucky for that. I'm reeling, but I don't wish to be blown away from this moment.
Your caress sets the forest of my body ablaze. We gasp for air as your strong hands grasp my soft flesh with hunger. Hold me close as we run. Tonight we must shelter each other from this smoldering thicket of brambles and thorns that try to ensnare us.
The sound of your voice extinguishes the blaze. "I just need a taste of you, please let me give you my all". Your baritone moans slip past your silver tongue, flooding my ears. Churning torrents swell each time you sink into me. I fear I'm not strong enough to escape this current. Can you save me?
Please. Please.. Please....
Our breathing slows as we return to the calm we once knew. Windblown and dusted with cinder and soot, we wade through the receding river winding deep in the cold canyon of our sins.
What have we done? I told you we shouldn't play with fire.
I told you...
This storm was never meant for us.

This storm was never meant for us.
Yet the anticipation of your kiss kicks up a tornado in my heart. As our tongues dance in unison, we hear voices echo "F5 incoming, brace for impact".
Your coy green-eyed gaze tethers me to the earth as our bodies crash together in the squall. Lucky for that. I'm reeling, but I don't wish to be blown away from this moment.
Your caress sets the forest of my body ablaze. We gasp for air as your strong hands grasp my soft flesh with hunger. Hold me close as we run. Tonight we must shelter each other from this smoldering thicket of brambles and thorns that try to ensnare us.
The sound of your voice extinguishes the blaze. "I just need a taste of you, please let me give you my all". Your baritone moans slip past your silver tongue, flooding my ears. Churning torrents swell each time you sink into me. I fear I'm not strong enough to escape this current. Can you save me?
Please. Please.. Please....
Our breathing slows as we return to the calm we once knew. Windblown and dusted with cinder and soot, we wade through the receding river winding deep in the cold canyon of our sins.
What have we done? I told you we shouldn't play with fire.
I told you...
This storm was never meant for us.

He estado viendo Django Sin Cadena por el canal DHE y hay partes donde se disparan entre si y se ven borroso o cuando sale sangre no se ve nada a causa de una luz borrosa, no se porque suceden estas cosas. Si al final ellos quieren transmitir eso, si lo hacen entonces no lo censuren, es su problema si lo pasan o no, no entiendo porque la censura pero bueno, es algo que encontré y me pareció raro

Hi guys,
You might remember my old post about an archive I was working on of all the tracks deadmau5 released on his "fuckmylife" SoundCloud account over the years: my work on the archive is finally over, I organized all the info I was able to gather thanks to the Internet Archive's Wayback Machine and other sources in this Google Sheets document (read the document FAQs for detailed info) and uploaded all the files on the Internet Archive here.
I made a similar document regarding the tracks deadmau5 released on his old "Suckscription" service on live.deadmau5.com, and user Hydra made a similar archive, based on the info in my document, of all the tracks in their highest quality available (almost all of them are the original WAV downloaded from the service at the time, and then converted to FLAC for space efficiency) which was also uploaded to the Internet Archive: you can find it here.
You can also find both archives in this subreddit's sidebar.
I'll paste the text of my SoundCloud archive entry on the Internet Archive, containing all the info and links you might need:
Deadmau5 "fuckmylife" SoundCloud Archive – version 1.0.2 (see changelogs below)
This is the archive of all the tracks, together with correct tags and cover arts, that Joel Zimmerman (a.k.a. deadmau5) uploaded to his "fuckmylife" SoundCloud page over the years, all the info for all the tracks were derived from the wayback machine and organized in this Google Sheets document (see the FAQs in the document for more info).
This archive is meant to be the most historically accurate possible and to preserve an otherwise lost part of deadmau5' production.
If you think you can contribute missing files/info to this archive contact me at any of my contacts you can find in the FAQs of the document below. To make it short these are the files we're still missing (for info missing see the Google Sheets document):

• "Dub5tepthingie": The file in the old archive is 5:42 instead of 1:08 and appears to be a fan made edit, Interestingly the first section of the file we have is exactly 1:08 long, and the waveform matches perfectly except for a fade out that was added at the end, so we cannot cut the rest and obtain back the original (still looking for the original rip)
• "Channel 41": The file in the old archive was 1:23 instead of 0:37 (and appears to be a fan edit): downloaded from Youtube in its native AAC VBR and Opus forms (still looking for an original SoundCloud rip)
• "mnml": Missing in the old archive: downloaded from Youtube in its native AAC VBR and Opus forms (still looking for an original SoundCloud rip)
• "Fn Pig": Missing in the old archive: Upsampled 320kbps MP3 version recovered thanks to Discord user Hydra (duration and waveform matches), still looking for an original SoundCloud rip
• "Track 01": The one in the old archive is an upsampled 320kbps MP3 version (probably originating from Youtube), a better 320kbps MP3 version recovered thanks to Discord user Hydra (still looking for an original SoundCloud rip)
• "drop the poptart": The one in the old archive is an upsampled 320kbps MP3 version (probably originating from Youtube), still looking for an original SoundCloud rip
• "Gula" [the 4:22 one]: Missing in the old archive: downloaded from Soulseek user WonderingMeow (duration and waveform matches) and is an upsampled 320kbps MP3 version (still looking for an original SoundCloud rip)
• "fuck you too": The one in the old archive is an upsampled 320kbps MP3 version (probably originating from Youtube), still looking for an original SoundCloud rip

TO DOWNLOAD CLICK HERE OR ON THE [⤓ 252 Original] BUTTON ON THE RIGHT
Content of this archive:

• "2010-2013" folder: The 147 tracks Joel uploaded to his SoundCloud from the beginning to the complete wipe on 11/01/2014 together with all the corresponding cover images when present
• "2014-2016" folder: The 46 tracks Joel uploaded to his SoundCloud from after the hiatus to the hacking of his account on 24/05/2016 together with all the corresponding cover images when present
• "Other formats" folder: Some of the tracks that are still visible in the original SoundCloud account were ripped in 256kbps AAC format thanks to SoundCloud GO+ (using yt-dlp with maximum quality settings), alternative 128kbps MP3 versions of these tracks (also directly ripped with yt-dlp) are included in this folder. This also includes tracks that were downloaded from Youtube in their alternative Opus format, tracks that were recovered thanks to Discord user "Hydra" in 320kbps MP3 form (this is upsampled from the original 128kbps SoundCloud rip, and some of them have also fade-in/out added to them or different durations), and a 320kbps MP3 version of "BYE!" (converted by me from its original WAV). All these tracks have an identical set of tags to the main version in the other folders. See the FAQs below form more info
• "Profile picture 1 (2010-2012)" image: The "random cat meme" image Joel used as his profile picture on SoundCloud from 2010 to 2012
• "Profile picture 2 (2012-2016)" image: The "B&W portrait" image Joel used as his profile picture on SoundCloud from 2012 to 2016
• "deadmau5 fuckmylife SoundCloud archive (Google sheets).url" shortcut: A permanent and double-clickable link to the Google Sheets document on the web where all the info of this archive are stored and organized
• A README file with all the relevant info regarding this archive

Audio file name structure:

• Track number - Title [other info like "DL from Youtube" or numbers for differentiating between tracks with identical titles]

for example:

• 001 - Dub5tepthingie [Not original file].mp3

Cover images have the same file name of the corresponding audio file.
Audio file tags structure:

• TITLE: The exact track title as it appeared on SoundCloud
• ARTIST: fuckmylife
• ALBUMARTIST: deadmau5
• ALBUM: SoundCloud
• TRACK: Order of upload on SoundCloud
• DISCNUMBER: 1/2 for the pre-wipe tracks, 2/2 for the post-wipe ones
• YEAR: Date of upload in YYYY-MM-DD format
• GENRE: Electronic
• COMMENT: Info about tracks removed from soundcloud, tracks that were downloadable from SoundCloud and tracks that are not original SoundCloud rips and their alternative source
• WWW: Link to the Google sheets document

Cover images are included in the tags too.
FAQ from the google sheet document:

• Q – We already have an archive of all deadmau5 "fuckmylife" SoundCloud tracks, why making another one? A – What I refer to as "the old archive" (it rather exists in multiple more or less complete versions out there in Mega/Drive links, torrents, etc.) is actually not complete at all and contains multiple errors as you might notice by the differences to this document: the tracks that were already removed or made private by Joel at the time the original author made the old archive were not known to them and thus not included, some of them were later added in subsequent versions of the archive but were not original 128kbps SoundCloud rips, and so are to be considered "altered" and worse quality, also a lot of dates and titles were wrong or partial. I wasn't satisfied with it and decided to use a proof-based method through the wayback machine to try and reconstruct the tracks list in the most accurate way possible (I did a similar document for the "Suckscription service" tracks, and discord user Hydra made a lossless archive).
• Q – This info is wrong, the wiki and MusicBrainz says something different! A – I updated the wiki with the more correct and complete info from this document, a new and better wiki was made, the page about the SoundCloud account was also made with info from this document. The MusicBrainz entry (and other sources like that) is derived from the old archive (a new MusicBrainz entry was made for this archive and will be kept updated).
• Q – Where is "Gula Redeux"? A – I looked extensively for proof of its existence on SoundCloud at any given moment but found none, this is not ultimate proof that it never existed either, but I lean more towards it not being a SoundCloud track: "Gula" (2nd version) and "777" were supposedly uploaded the same day and they both got a twitter post sharing them, while there is no trace of "Gula Redeux" anywhere, also, on 2013-11-23 the total tracks counter says there were 9 tracks on the account: those being the 7 deadly sins tracks + "Gula" (2nd version) and "777". We know for a fact that it was one of the "Suckscription service" tracks and it was probably included by mistake in the old archive by its author.
• Q – Where is "deadmau5 - Survivalism" (the one with no date in the filename)? A – This is included in some of the old archives you can find out there, not sure why: this is the same exact file of "Deadmau5 - Survivalism (ins)", most likely an error by the original author.
• Q – Where are the deadmau5 and Armin Van Buuren collaboration files? A – These were included in the old archive by its original author just to share them: they were never uploaded on SoundCloud (with the exception of "arm1n_3"), their origin is a series of Dropbox links posted on Twitter and, as such, they are beyond the scope of this archive and thus not included.
• Q – Where is the stuff from the official Deadmau5 SoundCloud account? A – That account, as far as I know, is managed by the label, not by Joel himself, and only includes stuff that is already officially released, so I'm not including it, this archive is for the "fuckmylife" stuff.
• Q – I have one of the missing original SoundCloud rips/I can fill some of the missing info, how do I contribute to this? A – Feel free to message me at u/scorched_boi on Reddit or send me an [email](mailto:askimpossiblegeometry@gmail.com), and thanks!
• Q – Why are some tracks M4A/Opus instead of MP3? A – The tracks that are still visible in the original account after it reappeared on 2024-04-02 were ripped using yt-dlp, some of them were available in both 128kbps MP3 format, and better 256kbps AAC (M4A) format, the latter was preferred because higher fidelty (the alternative MP3 versions are in the "Other formats" folder of the archive). The tracks that were not in the old archive and I wasn't able to find in their original SoundCloud rip form anywhere else (or at least as different bitrate MP3s), were downloaded by me from Youtube where they still survive. To avoid further compression and sound degradation I downloaded them in their native Youtube formats using yt-dlp, which are VBR AAC (M4A) and Opus (Opus is supposedly better quality, but not widespread supported, the Opus version is in the "Other formats" folder): tracks ripped from SoundCloud are already compressed to MP3 for streaming, uploading them to youtube compresses them again when they get converted to M4A/Opus, if I were to download them to MP3 again, they would go through a third stage of compression, further degrading them. Avoid converting them again, lossy-to-lossy conversion is not good.
• Q – Can I share this archive elsewhere/modify and repack it/make a torrent of it/etc.? A – Please don't, directly share the archive.org link instead, I don't want this archive to proliferate into a million different sligthly modified (and wrong) versions all over the internet like it was for the old archive, if you find some error or want to integrate it in some way just contact me and I'll do it myself, don't do it and share it yourself please.

Credits:
The google sheet document and this archive was made by u/scorched_boi (MagistraNocte on Discord and others, Impossible Geometry on SoundCloud), special thanks to all the people that contributed and helped me achieve this, in no particular order: the original author(s?) of the old archive and any subsequent version (haven't really been able to tell who it is, if you know, please let me know and I'll add it), Discord users Hydra, Thermospore and Good4Josh (and all the others that replied to questions), Reddit users u/Ok-Building-712, u/Insetta, u/DeadlySin9 and u/theofficialagp, Soulseek users notZX and WonderingMeow and all the people that uploaded tracks to Youtube back when they were being posted. Thanks also to anyone who might be able to contribute in the future with the still missing info and files that are listed in the document (contact me at any of my usernames above or [email](mailto:askimpossiblegeometry@gmail.com) me if you have any).
Changelog:
1.0.2

• Replaced "DAT KICK DOE" file with its original version now downloadable again directly from SoundCloud, also updated its 'comment' tag to reflect this
• Replaced all the files in the "2014-2016" folder with new files ripped directly from SoundCloud using yt-dlp with maximum quality settings in MP3 and/or AAC formats (some tracks are better quality AAC now thanks to SoundCloud GO+, see the "Other formats" folder for regular 128kbps MP3 versions), except for "DAT KICK DOE" (see above), "Gymnopedie No. BORED", "The Carp Is Mine", "fuck you too" and "saved"
• Updated "04 - Weekend at meowingtons" cover art with the original picture now downloadable directly from SoundCloud, updated the included jpg too
• Updated "Whelk then" and "Analogical" 'year' tag with correct info from the original track pages now visible again on SoundCloud

1.0.1

• Replaced "Friday - deadmau5 remix", "today, im french" and "Yesterday, before i was french (and cut)" with their supposed original SoundCloud rip versions thanks to u/DeadlySin9, and updated the tags accordingly
• Added missing 'comment' tag in "drop the poptart"

1.0.0

• Initial release

Hello, I am working on a story for a video game I am making. The first paragraph is the general plot of the game which revolves around a mysterious abyss. The next 4 paragraphs labeled 1-4 are different backstories for the abyss. These different backstories are what I would like to hear opinions on. At the bottom of this post is a google form where you can rank the stories from most liked to least liked as well as an option to leave any additional comments. Any and all feedback is greatly appreciated.
​
This is the general plot of the game: A gaping maw erupts, its inky depths promising both fortune and peril. Adventurers, lured by whispers of glittering jewels and untold riches, plunge into the newly formed abyss. They emerge, laden with treasure, only to discover a horrifying truth. The spoils they bear are cursed, unleashing a virulent plague that sweeps across the land. As the abyss hungrily expands, consuming the surrounding countryside, fear and desperation grip the kingdom. You are the leader of a ragtag band of mercenaries. The plague, a consequence of the abyss's arrival, has ravaged the land, leaving you and your companions as one of the few uninfected groups. Recognizing your unique immunity, the King tasks your company with a perilous mission: delve into the abyss once more, not for riches, but to uncover its origin and seek a cure for the plague. Though ill-equipped compared to the adventures before you, your resilience and survival instincts might be the kingdom's only hope. These are four backstories for the abyss: 1. An outcast, dying alone in a field, is offered a final wish by a mysterious figure. The outcast craves acceptance and desires nothing more than to be human. The wish granted, they sink beneath the earth, entering a deep slumber. Within this dreamlike state, knowledge of humanity floods their mind. Initially, it's a revelation – a glimpse into the wonders of human creation. But as the dreams persist, a darker truth unfolds. The outcast witnesses humanity's insatiable greed, their endless wars, and the destruction they wreak on the planet. Fury and revulsion well up from the depths, and fueled by this newfound understanding, the outcast cracks open the earth, revealing a vast abyss. Its walls are lined with dungeons and glittering treasures – a snare, precisely crafted to exploit humanity's greed. 2. In an age of endless war, a benevolent deity watched humanity teeter on the brink of annihilation. This deity, filled with unwavering faith, dispatched their own son, a radiant angelic being, to walk among mortals and offer peace. Tragically, the war-torn people, gripped by paranoia, mistook the angelic glow for forbidden magic. Their fear twisted acts of kindness into manipulation, culminating in the horrifying crucifixion and burning of the divine son. His final words, echoing across the land, were a plea for understanding: "Forgive them, for they know not what they do." This act shattered the deity's faith. For centuries they meticulously planned, not for direct destruction of humanity, but for a grand revelation. The result was the creation of a colossal abyss, its walls shimmering with an unnatural allure. It held mountains of treasure and beckoning dungeons, each level mirroring a cardinal sin. The very essence of the abyss was a subtle curse, a plague waiting to be unleashed. The treasures, a facade of wealth, would tempt the greedy. The dungeons promised power to the envious and wrathful. Mortals, driven by these primal urges, would descend into the abyss, unknowingly setting their own downfall in motion. As cursed treasures returned from the abyss, causing a plague to bloom, a chilling reminder of humanity's capacity for destruction. This orchestrated tragedy would serve as a cruel lesson, forcing mortals to confront the darkness within themselves. 3. Elias, a gifted alchemist, sought to bolster his war-torn kingdom. A near-death experience granted him knowledge of a life-creation portal. He used it to forge monstrous guardians, but craved more. Driven by love for his family, Elias attempted to grant them immortality through the portal. The result was horrifying. His wife became a pulsating mass, his son fell silent, and Elias himself morphed into a grotesque mockery of a human. Disgusted, the kingdom's rulers condemned Elias. A brutal civil war erupted. In a desperate act, Elias created a bio-bomb, the "Amalgamosa," which ravaged the enemy city. Victory came at a terrible cost. Elias, his mind fractured, lost his remaining allies. Consumed by a twisted desire for reunion, he turned on fellow alchemists, using their research and his son's journals to fuel his monstrous creations. The fallen kingdom became a lure. Elias, a madman, built a vast abyss lined with dungeons and treasures. Adventurers, drawn by the promise of riches, became fuel for his ever-growing army of aberrations. The abyss grew, mirroring Elias's madness. He clung to the hope of luring his family back, blind to the fact that his monstrosities were the very things that drove them away. His ambition, fueled by love, led to a horrifying descent, leaving behind a legacy of despair. 4. Prince Kael, blessed by the eight deities and heir to the throne, lay for dead on a battlefield at a tender age. His kingdom presumed him lost, leaving the crown to his ambitious younger brother, Prince Corvus. Yet, fueled by the lingering blessings of the gods, Kael defied death, though forever scarred and cursed. He could no longer heal magically, his body a patchwork of wounds held together by endless bandages. Wandering the wilderness, he was found by a wise hermit who offered him not only sanctuary but a chance to reclaim his magic. Slowly, Kael rekindled his power, though the self-healing remained elusive. Meanwhile, under Corvus's iron fist, the kingdom descended into darkness. Citizens were forced into brutal labor in the mines, their lives readily sacrificed for twisted experiments. Monstrous creatures replaced the royal guard, enforcing Corvus's reign of terror. When Kael felt strong enough, he returned with the hermit to his ravaged city. But instead of a hostile reception, Corvus welcomed him with open arms. Corvus, it turned out, had a twisted plan. He had devised a ritual for immortality fueled by the souls of the enslaved citizens. Kael refused, horrified by his brother's scheme. Corvus, enraged, tried to force the ritual, but the hermit intervened, taking the fatal blow meant for Kael. Stricken with grief for his savior, Kael unleashed a torrent of magic, sinking the entire kingdom into a fathomless abyss. He bound the abyss shut, trapping Corvus and his evil within, constantly draining his own magic to maintain the seal. As time wore on, the strain on Kael's soul began to show. Melding with the abyss itself, the walls around him became etched with tales from his childhood, stories shared with the hermit. The abyss, tainted by Corvus's influence, began to shift, waiting to lure in unsuspecting adventurers, their souls to fuel its inevitable rise.
https://forms.gle/5yFCARWyRMPzMz7F7

Por un lado, el concepto de lo 'políticamente correcto' nace de la necesidad de respetar la diversidad, evitar la discriminación y promover la inclusión de todos los grupos sociales. Es una manera de cuidar nuestras palabras y acciones para no herir sensibilidades, especialmente de aquellos que han sido históricamente marginados.
Sin embargo, esta idea también ha sido criticada por limitar la libertad de expresión, coartando la posibilidad de expresar opiniones controversiales o incómodas. Algunos argumentan que la corrección política puede llegar a ser excesiva, llegando incluso a censurar ideas legítimas en nombre de la sensibilidad de ciertos grupos.
Es cierto que la libertad de expresión es un derecho fundamental que debe ser protegido, permitiendo a las personas expresar sus opiniones y puntos de vista sin censura. Pero también es importante recordar que este derecho no está por encima de la dignidad y el respeto hacia los demás, especialmente aquellos que han sido históricamente discriminados.
En definitiva, creo que lo importante es encontrar un equilibrio entre la libertad de expresión y la corrección política. Podemos expresar nuestras opiniones de manera respetuosa y consciente, evitando el uso de lenguaje ofensivo o discriminatorio. Debemos ser capaces de debatir ideas de manera civilizada, sin caer en la intolerancia o el desprecio hacia aquellos que piensan diferente.
En última instancia, la clave está en la empatía y la comprensión hacia los demás. Si somos capaces de escuchar y respetar las experiencias y perspectivas de los demás, podremos encontrar un balance entre lo 'políticamente correcto' y la libertad de expresión, construyendo una sociedad más inclusiva y respetuosa para todos."

(LONG POST!!) After watching the trailers a few times, looking at some analysis, and reading through item descriptions and such, I may have an idea of why and how Miquella went to the Land of Shadow as well as some insights into other related mysteries. I could very well be wrong about a lot or all of this, certainly there are a host of equally valid theories, and there are a lot of elements that we cannot consider as we don't know about them. This is just one theory I concocted that would explain everything with reasonable evidence and I'll select it as my chosen theory heading into the DLC. Keep in mind there are also certain things I state as facts that are in actually more like assumptions or implications so if any of those are holes, please let me know. There are a lot of threads, so we'll go through chronologically.
tl;dr The Land of Shadow is a place of lost/graceless souls, where Godwyn's soul went after he died. It is sealed by the Erdtree, so Miquella tried to grow his own to get there and find him due to feeling a debt from mentorship. That only partially worked so he tried to make the eclipse but couldn't because Radahn held the stars. Malenia couldn't kill Radahn, so he divested himself of his flesh to go there on his own and try to open the way from the other side. But Mohg stole his flesh before he could return to it. Also, Miquella was probably involved in the black knives plot and wants the Age of Stars to get rid of the outer gods and cure himself/Malenia/everyone which is double why Malenia wanted Radahn dead. Or maybe he's actually evil and all the Griffith comparisons are dead on. Who knows.

The Birth of Gold and Shadow

We know from the story trailer dialogue that the creation of gold, presumably the Golden Order, occurred at the same time as the birth of shadow, presumably the Land of Shadow (of course it could be referring to something else such as Godwyn/Messmer but I have decided to go with this line of thought). As this dialogue plays, we see someone who appears to be Marika standing in an entrance of some kind performing a ritual or spell. There are also a huge number of bodies piled around. We also know that the Land of Shadow is obscured by the Erdtree and disconnected from the rest of the Lands Between. Furthermore, we know that the Golden Order was created by removing the Rune of Death from the Elden Ring. The major effect this had on the world is that death was no longer final, with souls returning to the Erdtree after death. But what was the alternative? Where did they go before the Erdtree?
It would seem plausible that the creation of the Erdtree alongside the Golden Order and the severing/creation of the Land of Shadow was a result of the Rune of Death's removal. If this is true, it would then seem plausible that the Land of Shadow was the destination of souls, a form of afterlife perhaps, which was then severed when death was no longer present within the Order. This was done via the creation of the Erdtree, which obscured the Land of Shadow. Indeed, the Shadow of the Erdtree looms large over it, the barrier between worlds. Speaking of barriers, the doorway through the barrier that Marika stands in in the aforementioned scene (which appears to divide the Lands Between and Land of Shadow) is visually similar to the entrance to the Erdtree, supporting that its creation was the cause of the severance. But what of all the bodies, and Messmer's purge? The victims all certainly appear to be Omen, which were seen as unholy by the Order. But why?
It is implied from item descriptions that Omen horns were seen as divine in an age before the Erdtree (crucible knot talisman). It would seem they are possessed of some sort of power, likely linked to the primordial crucible, and certainly the creation of the Erdtree could not have been an easy feat. This part is highly speculative, but I believe that the creation of the Erdtree required an extreme amount of bloodletting: Omen blood was chosen because of its crucible-related power, though was not necessarily required. The slaughter of the Omen sent them to the Land of Shadow as it was sealed away, and Marika had Messmer purge the land with flame to erase evidence of her crimes should anyone ever reach it. Of course she wanted no songs written about it. "Those stripped of the Grace of Gold shall all meet death. In the embrace of Messmer's flame" says the gameplay trailer. Indeed, any who die without Grace and thus are sent to the Land of Shadow presumably meet their end by his hand, a kind of Lucifer for the Golden order. But what does any of this have to do with Miquella and Godwyn?

Miquella's Experiments and Early Life

Miquella was born cursed, as was Malenia (Remembrance of the Rot Goddess). It is stated that he spent much of his time and energy attempting to undo these curses, first pursuing Golden Order fundamentalism. During this time he appears to have come under the tutelage of Radagon and Godwyn, creating various incantations as gifts. Statues were carved of a figure who appears to be Godwyn (mostly through a process of elimination) caring for the cursed twins, and item descriptions detail these forays. However, fundamentalism held no cure for their afflictions, and so he abandoned it (Radagon's Rings of Light).
His next attempt at a cure seems to be unalloyed gold; not much is known about this substance, but from the name (as well as Goldmask's writings about a "fly in the ointment" and other imperfections in the order) it could be seen as an attempt to create a new form of order that would purge the imperfections and impurities in the mainstream Golden Order, and thus hold the potential for a cure. This worked better, much better. It allowed for the creation of Miquella's needle that has the power to stave off scarlet rot and was able to halt Malenia's (and later Millicent's) decline. And yet, it was unable to reverse her decline. And presumably it was unable to help Miquella either. And so, we come to what I believe to be his final experiment before getting sidetracked (it is equally possible that unalloyed gold occurred after this one instead of before it): Saint Trina.
There is a fair amount of cut content centering around the merchants and Saint Trina of the Cradlesong, the major point being how Saint Trina would be able to sing a lullaby that would quell the flame of frenzy and allow the merchants to sleep despite their affliction. It is additionally known that Saint Trina is a persona of Miquella (also from cut content). Finally, it is known that the flame of frenzy and scarlet rot are both manifestations of an outer god (map: lake of rot, Miquella's needle, Hyetta's dialogue). Miquella's needle was an attempt to interfere with the meddling of an outer god, with the intended purpose of staving off scarlet rot, however it works equally well on the flame of frenzy (you can use it at Placidusax's arena to cure yourself of frenzy). It can then be postulated that the same is true of slumber: if sleep can calm the flame of frenzy, and Miquella developed it, it is likely that it was originally created to counter scarlet rot. This may also be why Malenia has been asleep for so long: she took out the unalloyed gold needle that had kept the rot at bay, or it fell out, in order to bloom, and in the chaos of the battle it may have been hard to locate (and was also broken), so to calm her from her bloomed form and prevent her from rotting away she was put to sleep. But as I said before, Miquella got sidetracked before his experiments in stopping the interference of outer gods could be completed. His old mentor, Godwyn, was murdered.

The Death of Godwyn the Golden and the Attempts to Aid Him

It is well known that when Godwyn the Golden died, due to Ranni's interference, he perished in soul alone, leaving his body behind (cursemark of death). However, it would seem, due to the fragment of the Rune of Death imbued in the knives used to slay him, his soul was unable to return to the roots of the Erdtree. So where did it go? My theory is that it went to the Land of Shadow, as it was the old repository of souls before the Erdtree obscured the way. Whether or not Miquella was involved in the plot (more on this later), it is known this event distressed him and he wished for Godwyn to die a true death (golden epitaph). Miquella seemed to want to help people: he spent much of his life trying to help Malenia, and his Haligtree served as a haven for the lowly and the meek (Haligtree footsoldier helm). He likely wanted to help Godwyn too, and this intention is also alluded to at Castle Sol (spirit dialogue). But how? The problem mostly centers around how to access the Land of Shadow.
We know little about the Land of Shadow, but we do speculate that the Erdtree was able to serve as a barrier between it and the Lands Between. Destroying or modifying the Erdtree would not have gone over well, so an alternate solution had to be devised. What if a second door could be created? Enter the Haligtree. I propose that the creation of the Haligtree was an attempt to create an alternate access point to the Land of Shadow and allow Godwyn's soul to return. If it was created with a similar ritual to the Erdtree, it would likely have possessed this power, and from the ghost as Castle Sol's dialogue, we know that whatever was going on there with attempting to resurrect Godwyn was somehow related to the Haligtree. But as we also speculate, the creation of the Erdtree required a huge amount of blood. Miquella's own was not enough, and his character doesn't seem like the type to sacrifice huge amounts of people to achieve this goal. There is also no evidence of such a thing being attempted. And thus, the Haligtree failed to grow into a proper Erdtree (Haligtree crest surcoat).
However, the Haligtree, despite not reaching its ultimate goal, was still huge and powerful. It is likely that the barrier between worlds would still have thinned, perhaps enough to create a doorway with some additional magic. This is what I believe was the purpose of Castle Sol. It is known that the eclipse/lightless sun is a guardian to dead demigods (eclipse crest greatshield), and work was being done at Castle Sol to bring such an event about. There is very little information present about this as well, but if it was in an attempt to resurrect Godwyn, it is likely that this was seen as something that could make the final push to open the way. However, Castle Sol failed. The spirits left behind mention that the eclipse never occurred. However, the eclipse is also mentioned as a star (eclipse crest greatshield). Enter Radahn.

Miquella's Departure and Mohg's Interference

Radahn, in his attempts to prevent the invasion of otherwordly horrors such as Astel, locked the stars in place with his gravity magic (starscourge heirloom / Sellen's dialogue / what happens when you kill him). However, in doing so, he also froze the fate of Ranni and interfered with many other processes in the Lands Between (Sellen's dialogue). If the stars were locked in place, the eclipse could not occur. And so, I theorize, Malenia was dispatched to kill Radahn and allow the stars to resume their cycles. But Malenia failed. Unable to overcome him with her swordsmanship alone, in a desperate bid, she bloomed, destroying Caelid and consuming her opponent with scarlet rot. But Radahn didn't die. Driven to insanity, he fled into the wastes as the severed valkyrie fell into her endless slumber. Yet still, even in his feral state, Radahn held back the stars (Elden Ring story trailer / Jerren's dialogue). And with Malenia incapacitated, Miquella's last hope to open the way for Godwyn would have vanished. But all was not lost.
A gate could not be opened from the Lands Between, not anymore. So instead, I believe, Miquella resolved to journey alone to the Land of Shadow and find Godwyn there, and perhaps a way to open the path from the other side. No proper pass existed, yes, but as I explained previously, the barrier has been thinned by the Haligtree's partial success. Thinned enough, perhaps, for Miquella to travel there in spirit while divesting himself of his flesh and strength. I believe this is why he embedded himself within the tree: he needed to do this in order to pass to the other side. Why he did this before he could heal Malenia is unknown: perhaps he believed she had died in the battle, as it is unknown how long it took Finlay to carry Malenia back to the Haligtree. What happened after he travelled there is completely unknown. Perhaps he found Godwyn. Perhaps he even found a way to open the gate. But whatever he found it was clearly not actionable from within the Land of Shadow. And he could not return to his flesh. It had been stolen.
It is known that Mohg, in his deluded and insane attempts at raising himself to consort of a god, and the establishing a new order, had stolen Miquella away in hopes of making him a god under the Formless Mother (Consecrated Snowfield spirit dialogue / Varre's dialogue). Having removed Miquella's flesh from the Haligtree, the gate, I believe Miquella became trapped in the Land of Shadow, with the only one who could have recovered him slumbering eternally. And so, all was lost. Or was it?

The Arrival of the Tarnished

Miquella was lost, Malenia was asleep, none could find him or restore him to his rightful place. Ages passed. The Haligtree rotted, the land crumbled to ruin, the time of Tarnished champions came and went, and the hope of his men began to falter. Until the arrival of our character. The one who would accomplish what Malenia could not, and finally kill Radahn. And thus a glimmer of hope returned.
It is known from interviews that it is necessary to kill Radahn to access the DLC area, and I believe his holding back the stars being tied to the eclipse and the potential opening of the path to the Land of Shadow is the reason for this. The poem released alongside the trailer speaks of a promised lord that Miquella is awaiting. I believe that he knew, after Malenia's perceived death and subsequent disablement, that he would need a new guardian should something happen while he was away. It would seem he entrusted Ranni, or perhaps Melina, with finding this new lord. If it was Ranni, her decision seems rather obvious: the Tarnished is in possession of Torrent, Miquella's former steed. If it was Melina, the reasons for her decision are far less clear. Perhaps it is due to the Tarnished's now-rare ability to see Grace. In any case, my theory is that it falls to the Tarnished to find Miquella in the Land of Shadow and bring him back to the Lands Between. And perhaps, even to help Miquella complete his mission after all this time. The final shot of the gameplay trailer shows Miquella lifting the veil over the Land of Shadow and restoring light. Perhaps this old stain upon the order could be made right. But there are many questions remaining, some of which I will now address. This entire post has been highly speculative with not nearly as much evidence as I would like, however these next few parts go even beyond that into pure baselessness, yet it all makes a lot of sense to me when explained this way.

Why did Miquella choose to involve Ranni?

Miquella appears to have entrusted Ranni with the spirit-calling bell to give to the promised lord. This would require a huge amount of trust on Miquella's part. Why did he choose her? I believe that Miquella may have known about or even been involved in the black knives plot. Black knife assassins guard the Haligtree, and it is known that Ranni masterminded the plot in order to bring about the Age of Stars (Ranni's dialogue). An Age in which, it would seem, the influence of outer gods is removed from the lands between along with the order (more Ranni's dialogue). Perhaps this was Miquella's final, desperate bid to cure himself and Malenia, as all his other attempts to stave off such intervention had failed. It would also explain his apparent ceasing of attempts at cures after a certain point: the Age of Stars was a cure, and yet another reason to need Radahn to die. This is also supported by a recent tweet from Bandai Namco mentioning that the stars can serve as a guide even in the Land of Shadow.

Why does Melina have Torrent?

Melina is a mysterious figure, and I'm not sure I can really say much about this part, but I would certainly be remiss not to mention her or speculate a bit. What do we know? She is in possession of torrent. She is burned and bodiless, a spirit bound apparently by choice to the Tarnished. She was tasked, and later chose of her own accord, to serve as kindling in the burning of the Erdtree so that a new order could arise. She is revealed in the game files to be Marika's daughter. She also only has one eye, just like Ranni and Messmer. What does all this mean? I believe the three are all linked by flame (Melina and Ranni both burned and Messmer seems to be quite the pyromaniac), and that Melina's guidance of the Tarnished towards lordship might be an attempt to bring about the Age of Stars (which could presumably happen no matter which path was chosen, other than frenzied flame of course. Ranni knew about your lordship/order restoration ambitions the whole time and never once asked you not to do it. I would imagine the Elden Beast just needs to be out of the way).
But more to the point, Miquella was known to be able to see and talk to spirits (spirit-calling bell). He may have been one of the few to be able to see Melina, and thus they may have formed a bond, partially as a result of their shared ancestry as well. Her potential link to Ranni may also come into play if Ranni and Miquella were indeed allied. I have a lot of theories about Melina that I won't address here, specifically revolving around the fire imagery, but this may have been the reason that she was given Torrent and entrusted with finding one fitting to restore Miquella to the world, as well as guiding that chosen one to lordship to aid in Miquella's (and Ranni's) ultimate goal.

Why did Malenia and Miquella sacrifice so much to revive Godwyn?

At first, I believed that the attempts to restore Godwyn's soul were simply altruistic, or out of a sense of obligation felt by the twins to their former mentor. But after a certain point it becomes ridiculous. The Haligtree, Castle Sol, Malenia's confrontation, they repeatedly risked life and limb and poured a huge amount of time and resources into this effort, seemingly far beyond what would be required simply by that obligation. And it ultimately cost them everything. Why go to these lengths? If my theory about Miquella's involvement in the black knives plot is correct, this would add another element to the mix: guilt.
Godwyn may have been chosen as the target for the assassination as he was close to the twins, and the trust could have allowed the assassins to get close. Miquella and Malenia may have felt (and indeed been) responsible for his death, and so went to great lengths to undo their sin. As for Malenia's huge risk and sacrifice in confronting Radahn, it was not just about Godwyn. In the process of engineering the eclipse, Miquella may have realized that the cause of the failure of that experiment and the immobility of Ranni's fate (and thus a barrier to coming of the Age of Stars) were linked, and subsequently realized what had to be done about it. Thus, Malenia needed to kill Radahn not only for Godwyn, but for herself and Miquella to finally be free, and indeed for all the land to be free of the Greater Will and outer gods. This would absolutely be enough to justify the risk. If only she had prevailed.

A Potentially Darker Tone

However, being FromSoft, I also somewhat hesitate to believe that Miquella is all good. Many have noted his visual similarities to Griffith from the acclaimed anime/manga Berserk, and while I know many people despise trying to base Elden Ring lore on Berserk lore (and justly so), it cannot be denied that certain inspirations from it are taken by Miyazaki when he creates his games. I have not watched/read it, but I understand that at a certain point in Berserk, Griffith betrays his comrades in a blood-soaked ritual seeking godhood. Thus, I see a potential way in which Kindly Miquella may been a facade. It is possible that the Haligtree could have been Miquella's attempt to elevate himself to godhood. He is, after all, an Empyrean (Ranni's dialogue). Perhaps he sought blood in Mohg's order, the cursed blood of an outer god and the blood of an Omen (which could have been used to create the Erdtree), in order to complete the Haligtree.
He may have gone to the Land of Shadow in search, not of Godwyn, but of some other objective there to elevate himself as such. Perhaps even to usurp the Erdtree from the other side, with Mohg's blood simply being a way to rid himself of Grace and thus allow his passage? Maybe he even wants Mohg as his consort and to become a god under the Formless Mother. There certainly are some passages in item descriptions and lines of dialogue that hint at a potential darkness or deception within Miquella (the bewitching branch in particular). Who knows.

Final Thoughts

Even before it was known that the DLC focused on Miquella, I found his character and lore by far the most interesting aspect of Elden Ring. Who is he really, what does he want? He seems benevolent, but almost too much so? What happened to him? Is he still in control of the situation at all? I'm really excited to learn more about him and hopefully more about Melina as well, as she's always been equally fascinating to me. Best of luck to you all on June 21st, and may his blessed light guide the path to answers.
A final aside: the voice that says "May we meet again" at the end of the trailer does not appear to belong to any character we have encountered, sounding most similar to Ranni but still distinctly different. I am unsure why so many are convinced that this is Miquella as we have never heard him speak (or at least no voice line that I know of is confirmed to belong to him). My best guess is that it belongs to the Miquellan knight featured in a lot of the promotional art, urging you to travel with her to find her lord now that the way is open.
I hope you enjoyed reading this unhinged rant and thank you so much if you're still here, please let me know your thoughts. Ultimately the only thing I know for sure is that I will at some point have to kill the Miquellan knight if they don't die on their own because I will have that sword and armor at any cost.

Entonces se puede hablar de todo? +18?

Que que fue lo que paso...
Llegue al Apple Campus...
Me quede esperando en la parada de autobuses...
Siguieron con sus mamadas...
Creo que tomaré el consejo...
Cuanto podrás necesitar llegues al Studio Ghibli...
Las investigaciones sindicadas... que mala idea...
Hoy fui a un lugar no me gustó...
"El día que se murió el amigo de mi papá... El Búho..."
Que problema vivir aquí...
Por lo menos ya me lo se bien casi todo... ni me lo imagine...
Algo me di cuenta... cuando vi a los que trabajaban en Soriana en Walmart...
Desde que ya no esta el logo de la estrellita... quien sabe ahí de que se trata...
Que pena... a veces la gente ignorante no sabe que al hecharle agua... como cambia la dinámica de la maldad...
Creen la censura les va a soportar...
Se ve que no estoy nada mal... "Vete acostumbrando a la comida de Taiwán..."
Como me dio risa en Los Cabos... el logo del restaurante asiático ese el pescado...
Eso si quiero tener amigos... o pensar que los tengo...
En cualquier lugar te venden un pedazo grande de desierto...
Todo eso apenas lo van a gozar mis nietos... así era la vida... la milicia... solo los locos les gustaba la milicia... un fondo marrón... un escudo en verde...
Nadamas de ver el fondo marrón... y la maldita pala... eso es puro trabajar...
Ya ni por dinero...
Eso quiere Erin... nimodo que me voy a rajar...
Ya ni modo... todo para abajo... como un tren hasta el último día... hahahahaha "ya voy a descansar cuando me muera..."
Era literalmente una curva pronunciada que poca gente la puede dar... o nadie... a lo mejor... valía la pena intentarlo...
Me llevaban de comer las ancianas de los pueblos... nunca le pusieron nada malo... pobre tonto lo peor... de todas esas cosas yo ni sabia... era un muchacho muy valiente... de valiente se torno en agresivo... por lógica...
Mexico no era un buen lugar...
"Vas a tu casa que coincidentemente esta en México..." así como "vas al studio ghibli que coincidentemente esta en Japón..."
Dicen que fue la vieja de Walmart... que porque no la quise... llego en Phoenix... se bajo de una camionetona con sirvientes... dije "aaay no... no quiero más problemas..." "la vieja se vengo"... la verdad no me importa...
A mi me gusta inventar mamadas perronas... muchas son verídicas... solo los que están locos como yo las hacían... justo en el momento les salían bien...
Los que hicieron eso... fueron 2... de esos dos... si era inteligente y hago los tanques mitsubishi... dijeran... cuantos pendejos no salen ahí...
Me enseñaron cosas maníacas... lo puedes decir... eso de los teléfonos... ya adentro del tanque... dos personas se hablaron alguna vez por teléfono... vuelven a recrear sus dos mentes todas las llamadas... sin ningún registro documental previo... y ya al final... se van al drenaje licuados...
Las mamas corruptas... las abuelitas santas... etc... cuando todo es falso... "como tienes el diosesano" el libro de Taylor cambiando con cierta experiencia del Dr Kuhnau... es impresionante...
Piensen que la glandula suprarenal controla la frenologia... y que las zapatas de frenado del metro de la CD de México eran de madera de Haya... y salen con la mamada de "La comidita Alemana..."
Que me encabronado me puse...
Steven Jobs dio todo por mi... y yo no le puedo pagar con una actitud devaluada... no menos... de lo que siempre estuvo ahí de esa calidad solo para mi. Sigue ahí... todo como lo dijo...
El puto de reed en uno de sus withdrawals dijeran los gordos malos... se metió a moverle a la oficina...
Me supe unas cosas hoy... "donde esto no se quiera acabar y te sigan molestando..."
Primero vamos a sacar al Búho...

(Prev) wiki Julia sat in the office of the semi-disgraced former Second Ambassador and tried to show patience. The grumble of her stomach didn’t make that task any easier.
Jorgenson started to speak after the food had been ordered, but she glanced at the woman and shook her head, then pretended to become engrossed in her phone. She’d just gotten around to sending a quick message to her father about how large a birthday present she expected to get this year when an Embassy guard came in with a tray.
“Where would you like this, ma’am?”
She waved to a corner of Jorgenson’s desk. “Thank you Sergeant. I’m surprised they sent you with the food.”
He gave her a lopsided smile. “Met the gal with the tray on my way here, told her I’d take it. Keeping the people who feed you happy is always a good idea.”
A small smile crept onto her face. Smart guy. “Good on you, and thank you for arriving with haste. I need you to take this young man into administrative custody and lock him up somewhere until the new First Ambassador arrives. Not the actual lock-up, mind. Just toss him in a room with a bed and toilet and don’t let him out. The new First Rank can decide when she gets here whether this guy gets to keep his job, but until then I want him locked down. Oh, and take away his personal phone.”
Young Secretary finally lost whatever control he’d managed to keep on himself. “You can’t…”
Before she’d had the chance to even round on Over Important Boy the MP had already grabbed the kid. “Oh, she can and she has. In case you haven’t heard, your sugar daddy isn’t in charge here anymore, son.”
Sugar daddy?!? Her head whipped around to stare her question at Jorgenson as the MP neatly pulled the – now steadily, and unimaginatively, cursing – kid from the office. She lifted an eyebrow in question and Jorgenson gave a small smile and shake of her head in response, then hit a button to close the door behind the departing men.
Julia pinched the bridge of her nose between her fingers. Marines!
Still, even that was a smart move: He got the kid cussing at him instead of bothering me. Going to have to put that guy on the Christmas-card list or something.
Jorgenson gave a small half-laugh half-snort. "Pinkerton – and yes, descended from those Pinkertons, though he doesn’t bring it up and will roll his eyes at anyone who does – is a good guy, and is very happy about you.”
“Oh no. Please tell me that is not because of my…”
Jorgen shook her head again. “Because it isn’t hard for any of us left here to piece together the fact that the Guard finally being given orders to arrest Salish and his cronies – including the Colonel who was their CO until yesterday – happened less than a half dozen hours after your feet hit the tarmac out there. Pinkerton has been the best we’ve had for a long time: He’s threaded the needle between keeping his job and keeping his integrity better than most of of us, and he’s very happy that things seem to have turned around.”
The woman almost continued, but visibly checked herself. “He is worth mentioning largely because he is indicative of many of those who are left: We came to this job to further Humanity, the Confederation, and all sapient life. We ended up just trying to keep our careers off a chopping block. “None of that is what you are here for, nor what I have been trying to chase you down to talk about, however.”
Jorgenson motioned to a chair and gave her that lopsided grin again. “I was supposed to brief you on the state of the Council, our affairs here, and the Embassy, but I think that is all pretty obvious at this point.
“Instead, I suggest I brief you on what has happened back home since you threw a lit torch into a rocket fuel bin, then let someone the sweeps missed keep you busier then a one-legged Gorfal in an ear-kicking contest.”
Julia allowed herself a laugh at the woman’s turn of phrase, sat back, and listened. The former Ambassador got through the fallout back home fairly quickly, so she started asking about just how things had gotten so bad at the Embassy.
It took a little effort to draw Jorgenson out: the woman knew her career had ended, or at least been set back to the beginning, and she’d be getting shipped home soon in disgrace even though she wasn’t going home in chains. She’d be turning State’s Evidence in the trial, then quietly shuffled off into obscurity; or retirement.
Julia carefully recorded the entire conversation to an encrypted device: The woman had been through more than enough already, and didn’t need to have all of this plastered across the ‘net for people to read, which is where it would end up, eventually, if it became part of a government document: At the same time, a careful study of her version of events could provide a lot of fodder for those who wanted to prevent a repeat.
The tale took the entire afternoon, with breaks to meet with the occasional foreign Ambassador and assure them that yes, everything would be returning to normal soon, no, she was not going to be the new First Ambassador, and yes, she would certainly pass on their personal respect to the new Ambassador, her Father, or both.
As they wrapped up Jorgenson speared her with a look. “I have to congratulate you on several accounts, Julia. First is that I never saw you turn your recording device on, nor did you give away that you were recording in any way. I know you were making one, of course, because you’d be a fool not to and – second – your excellent use of questions to steer, jog memory, delve into subjects, and head off my emotional trauma from the last few years tell me you aren’t a fool.
“That said, I have one request: Do not enter that recording into any government, nor university, record. I know that you feel there is a lot in there that can be useful. Honestly, I think there is too, or I wouldn’t have been so free with my tongue. Still…”
Julia put on her best grave look and nodded. “You have been through far more than most will ever have to face, and I appreciate the candor you have shown in this interview. I see no reason to add to your troubles. The recording itself will be kept safe and only nice, neat, relatively anonymous sanitizations of the important points will be entered into records. In fact, I will give you a copy and allow you to work on a report of your own, if you wish.”
A look of horror passed across the woman’s face, but a thoughtful look replaced it. “I… well, I’m going to need something to do for a while once the new Ambassador gets here... I will have the trip home and the time leading up to the trial with little to do. I suppose that getting my thoughts together is as good a way as any to pass the time.”
She gave the woman what she hoped was a look of commiseration. “Please talk to your councilor about it. You’ve been through a lot.”
Jorgenson nodded. “I appreciate what you are saying, what you aren’t saying, and trying to spare my fragile emotional state… which is far more fragile than I am letting on, but I’m sure you realize that. I…” The woman got a far-off look. “I had such dreams when I came here. Salish played on that, then on my fears, then… well, I know my sins. Some days it is hard to look back at the slow fall and point to a place where I should have acted differently. Others I see nothing but my string of failures.
“No, please. I…” A tear rolled down the woman’s cheek. “Go. I’ll talk to the Councilors. I made mistakes. I tried, but… well, it wasn’t enough, and that is all that matters in the end. It has to be all that matters, but knowing that doesn’t make it easier.” She shook her head. “Thank you for trying, but please, let me alone for a bit.”
Julia kept her face blank, nodded, and left without a word. She hurried out of Jorgenson’s office, out of the Embassy, and set her feet for the Prime Minister’s personal quarters. I didn’t realize how late it had gotten.
Part of her felt almost giddy at getting to spend time with her family again, but the knowledge that official business would intrude on at least some of their evening this time dampened her feelings. Speaking of family and the day’s business… She pulled out her phone, set it to send secure text, and hit Dad’s contact information again. 'I think you owe me that damned pony you refused to get me when I was 8. Constitutional Crisis touched off, managed, and the Confederation is lurching back to proper operation… and that isn’t even why you talked me into coming to this damned place.'
She sent the message, then pushed the negative feelings aside as she continued down the hall. You’ve dealt with far worse, and will not take it out on family you haven't seen in years, Julia! Besides, they know the score. No sooner did she finish the text than a blue hand closed around hers and her cousin fell in step beside her. A feeling of gratitude spread like warmth from her chest from the simple contact as her cousin started to speak in a torrent.
The gratitude deepened as she realized what her friend and relative was doing: Guiding her and filling the air with inanities she could ignore so she’d have a few minutes to relax for the walk. In no time at all she found herself seated in Uncle Kaz’s private apartment, a flame-cooked-to-perfection steak in front of her, and a glass of wine in her hand.
Kaz had asked that they get business out of the way over dinner, so that they could just enjoy the rest of the evening. She recounted the events of the previous day, to many appreciative comments and few loud laughs, then got into her debrief by Jorgenson.
By the time dessert came around she was finishing up with everything she felt she could tell them. “So, that is one Constitutional crisis weathered. The guys running this conspiracy had it all figured out: they’d studied history, studied the Constitution, studied the people involved, and opted for a timeline that made the Xaltan’s kenfistration plans seem rushed.
“Still, in all truth, the system worked. ‘Government In The Sun’ won out in the end.”
Golna cocked her head and spoke with down-turned brow. “Wait, I thought it was your little song-and-dance, and gathering of evidence, that got them nailed?”
She smiled and took a pull from her wine. “Oh, no. That was just the final piece. There has been an ongoing investigation for some time now. The spooks just wanted to be able to grab everyone at once when the arrests started, and the investigators knew that they didn’t have everyone yet.”
Kaz spoke. “So, what here happened was…”
“Not what anyone on my side of all this expected. I was supposed to be gathering evidence: They knew that Salish was part of it, but not whether he was an actual conspirator or a useful idiot. Finding that out was supposed to be the main goal of the covert side of my assignment.
wiki
A touch shorter than usual, just for want of a good break-point. This one is still not great, but the next candidate was too far away. Never fear, there will be more next week, stay tuned!! I will fix the links when it looks like the site is working: I had to go back to 'old reditt' settings to be able to post...

Jesus: THERE you see before you the stages of a human being’s
development up and down, during his life on this earth. In a
physical sense it is an up and down on this gamut; spiritually
it should only be an upward move.
The boy or the child, born helpless, his soul engrossed in a dream
life, knows and recognizes nothing, and must learn everything, even
how to clothe his thoughts, which increase with the development of his
personality, in a language, which is at first faulty, then becomes
progressively clearer and more accurate the more the body and the
mental capacity develop.
The spirit, as a spark out of Me, behaves quietly, encased in the
innermost of the heart; here and there it merely urges the soul to
develop its body according to certain laws so that it can use it as a good
tool and take the soul-body, developing out of the orderly constructed
body, along to the beyond for a different life once the earthly body and
envelopment of the soul are no longer useful for the soul and it requires
a different one.
In the boy or child all the passions are still dormant and it is at
most obstinacy and anger which manifest. These are the first parasitic
plants sending forth their tendrils around the youthful tree of life and
hanging on to it. If early help is not given at the right time the whole
tree is deprived of its strength and its saps and vigor change into those
of the two weeds, completely spoiling the man who grows up with
these qualities. For he, being a slave to these passions has to forgo
almost every spiritual progress, thereby causing great trouble to himself
and others who come into contact with him.
Obstinacy and anger are some of the mightiest attributes of the
satanic nature. Because of the former, Satan refuses to take the road to
Me and, because of the second attribute, he cannot allow the slightest
trace of love to enter his heart, which would render him softer, instead
of more unruly.
This is the case with the boy since often foolish parents, instead of fighting these two qualities more forcefully, even support them in the
belief that, failing to give the child what he wants, one harms his
health; or they are ready with the frivolous excuse: The child does not
know what he wants; once he is bigger, things will be different.’
Foolish parents! Yes, it will become different. What he now, as a
child, expressed with tears and inarticulate sounds, later on will change
into unkind and hurtful words against you, then, with the child’s
growing up and your decline it will perhaps end in physical acts where
you will harvest what you have so nicely sown, just as you have
deserved.
The child, developing gradually like a plant, and more and more
trying to stretch out its arms from the mother’s breast towards the wide
world in order to grasp especially what is most distant, grows with its
cognition, and with the cognition grow the passions, and with the
passions grows the inordinate longing to gratify them.
Thus having reached an age when this stream of spiritual, mental
and physical urges, which are still as if mixed together, must be
purified, the need for learning and schooling arises and the child must
acquire an understanding about what is good and what bad, what is
allowed and what forbidden, what is virtue and what is sin.
During this phase of purification of all youthful inordinate
longings and desires, parents and educators must do everything to
check the stream of all desires, passions and inordinate longings, which
is almost overflowing with youthful high spirits, damming it up so that
it cannot rise beyond its limiting banks.’
Here the soul begins to learn the first earnest word of the spiritual
man. It is the curbing of his passions, the strength to counter his desires
with a purpose and his inspirations and insinuations with a straight yes
or no.
At first guided by the school and the example of the parents, the
boy’s little vessel of life, entering a wider sphere, glides along between
play and study, instruction and punishment into the age of youth,
already more alert in spirit and soul. Coming into contact with his
peers as well as with those above him or with older persons, the youthful soul feels the urge to question things that as a child be had
accepted involuntarily, without making them out of conviction his own
for the spiritualization of his own Self.
With the entering into a higher life-sphere which, to be sure, is
also full of erroneous ideas, the questions begin: “But why this, why
that?’
In accordance with the enlightenment received, the spiritual man
within is then developing; finally, in the youth also the sexual drive
awakens, he is attracted to the female sex which in his school years
used to be a matter of indifference and often even scorn to him
This urge, so dangerous for the uncontrolled nature, is nevertheless
one of the most salutary, for it often curbs the coarsest passions of a
spoilt child and what the mother, father and teacher could not achieve,
an unconscious look from a girl’s eye full of love and inner happiness
does. With this spiritual magnetizing she accomplishes something that
will only be understood and once fully explained in the heavens, but
which here on this earth leaves only a faint, unfortunately transient
echo.
With the appearance of this turning point in the life of the youth
the first step is made towards manhood; love wreathes the youth with
roses, opening up for him a heaven he cannot as yet understand and
grasp. This love, at first turned only towards the object of his affection,
then guides him to the awareness of a man and his more serious duties.
Thus the impetuous youth makes the transition to the more prudent
manhood where life becomes more serious and the man, no longer
living alone but looking for a life’s companion, steps from a single life
into that of a family. There, he has to curb his passions more, and a
more serious look at his own life in an attempt to support both himself
and his loved ones imposes duties on him of which as a boy he had no
inkling, as a youth no idea, and the full significance of which he can
only now, as a man, grasp.
Like a merry, fresh mountain torrent the boy sprang up hill and
down dale. Arrived on the plain, still retaining some of his downward
speed in the mountains, be rushes on merrily between banks covered with flowers, however, losing more and more of his speed and more
and more spreading out on the plain, he makes the transition to
manhood.
As man with his new demands of life, new problems and new
obligations towards his family, he enters already into a phase where the
spiritual-mental man in him, more and more formed according to a
certain law, has either taken the direction towards what is good,
namely, the road to Me, or the opposite one, away from Me.
Thus the stream of his life flows on, seeking, doubting, building
his own Self from what he has found, perhaps calming down more and
more, emerging gloriously from all conflicts and doubts and finally, as
a quiet river, creeping towards old age. There movement almost ceases
and one must really, like a hamster, live off the capital accumulated
during a lifetime. For hardly anything can be added to it and the entire
course of human life has been lived through with its deceptions, its
joys, and at long last the harvest of accomplished deeds is to be reaped.
Thus the old man stands at the end of his visible physical life,
behind him a past which never returns, ahead of him an obscure future,
between two worlds, a visible and an invisible one, waiting for the
moment when his life’s clock stops and the busy pendulum of his
body, the heart, stands still.
Happy the old man who, finally, after great conflicts and manifold
disturbances, has at least secured for himself so much that the garment
of his soul has approached the archetype of My image, even though not
completely. Happy he if he, albeit late, has properly recognized his
mission on this earth, his God and Lord and the other world. He will
calmly await the moment of departure when the garments will be
changed; he will leave the world without fear and regret, for, although
late, he has found his Creator, his Father, who will Up There in
keeping with his still youthful heart surely invest him with a new,
youthful garment. Then, constantly becoming more handsome and
more spiritualized, he can, on the level of perfection, keep drawing
closer to Me in order to become quite worthy of the name of God”.
Here you have the road of the child, the youth, the man and the old
man, in few outlines before you.
Now we will see the analogy of these life’s phases with the
seasons of your earth, and how far winter, spring, summer and autumn
express spiritually in a similar way the same thing, which in the
following chapter you shall learn in a still higher sense.

Dropping like thunder - it is all done. In the rebellious deep, where the sinners all weep
Who is this shinning - His light's a gift. We had all gone to die, But he is the light in the sky
Welcome to sheol - where pain is all. Nothing of worth to be found, In for a penny or pound
But like a torrent - in desert sand. The depth makes us all swim, And evil can't contain him
He said that we all - have been set free. His is the path to our Lord, we are not lost but adored
They said rejected - he said beloved. But the payment is done, by the blood of the son.
Now in repentance - I see it all. No longer bound up in sin, I see the love that's within.
I have been lifted - onto a tree. No matter the things that they say, the loss has been taken away.
Now walk together - with God in hand. This is the way of the Lord, I am not lost but adored.