I think Lily is often portrayed as this Loli, manic pixie dream girl, Mary Sue. However, I see her as a more abrasive personality, sometimes outright harsh. I think she's more similar to a Miranda Hobbs or Regina George.
Lily's raised in a household with Petunia, a sister who is also very critical and harsh, and a family that is very authoritarian and values success. They're all like that. She hits it off with Snape, because they have a lot in common. She ends up dating James, because she has a lot in common with him too.
She has a regular West Midlands accent (similar to Peaky Blinders), not a lovely, lovely, adorable way of talking. Anything soft about her is something Snape saw in her, and, likewise, what Lily saw in Snape. This is based in an interview, where Rowling said that Lily liked Snape until he became more involved in dark things. Snape didn't used to be dark. The doe represents them as children.
Rowling said that they both mutually liked each other, and it wasn't just one-sided. That Snape thought that Lily would think being a Death Eater was cool. I think both her and Snape had superior attitudes around people, for intelligence reasons. I think they both had their strong ideas about things, and it didn't phase her that Snape thought that way until she realized how dark it all was, and it gave her a bad vibe. By then, he was already invested in the Death Eaters, who felt like a friend group and a family.
Rowling said the following about Lily: that she hated Death Eaters, dark stuff, and Avery and Mulciber, who Snape hung out with. Interestingly enough, Rowling said that Snape hung out with Avery and Mulciber, and "liked" Mulciber: take that to mean what you will.
I think that when Lily got called a Mudblood by Snape, there were a lot of things going on. First, she was embarrassed: she actually, like both Snape and James, had a very fragile ego. She'd also stood up for Snape all the times that James bullied him, and she felt betrayed. Finally, he was not only picking his friend group over his best friend, but he potentially, at least in her mind, Mulciber over her in a romantic way, which she couldn't tolerate: she had to be the one and only manic pixie dream girl. I think she had a temper and had jealousy issues... oh right, like her sister! He made her feel like she wasn't good enough, and she might have even dated James to prove herself and "win."
At the end of the day, it takes more than just attraction for a man to want to pursue a woman romantically: he has to see himself with her, his buddy. I don't think Lily was this little heroine wilting flower who was surrounded by cute bad boys uwu all by accident. These two assholes both thought they'd be a great fit with her.
Just my personal headcanon.

Hello, I am a 25 yr old male, and I am seeking advice regarding my spouse 23yr female. We’ve been together 4 years, and have twins 6 month old female. We have had ups and downs in our relationship from almost being done to back together to on the verge of, to where we are today. Fast forward… my wife had a rough pregnancy and almost lost her life due to a serious vaginal tear. Albeit she gave birth to our two beautiful baby girl twins. Our newborn phase was hell… constant waking and feeding,one colic baby and isolation due to the babies not co-sleeping in our bedroom. Obviously no intercourse or time to do bonding, we would only watch tv together content we both found interesting. I stayed home for a full month from work to help her recover from her injuries. Doing all the cooking, cleaning, I would even sacrifice my sleep to let her sleep, to recover and I would handle both babies. As the months grew by to around 3 months for our babies I started noticing weird behaviors of her, closing doors, long bathroom breaks, face down phone. Very private and picky and choosy of when she would be on her phone while being around me. Or always on the phone typing and swiping. On top of coming home from work and her staying at home I wouldn’t feel ever welcomed or well received. A kiss or a hug was asking a lot, or would give body language that it is unwelcomed. Due to this behavior my instant reactions plus a gut feeling told me there’s someone else having her time, her feelings, and although I did not prove it maybe sexual activity. The lone times we did have intercourse after 60 or more days she would say it’s not the same. Shortly after she told me she had depression and did not know if I fitted in her life anymore claimed she was confused and felt I fail to give her more help with our kids, she spiraled and started drinking almost every day and full blown lack of communication for a week or so. Due to my instincts I was so in shambles that I did my own snooping and investigating the best I could that was. I went through a full month of constant phone records through my carrier and found constant daily calls, FaceTime calls, ranging from 2 minutes to about 2.5 hrs. Plus constant Snapchat notifications, blurred out names of those notifications. Phone Numbers I had never seen before. All at times that she claimed she was up and feeding our girls yet somehow it would be around the same time I leave for work. And calls would stop with this person if I called her or a significant other would call her, then continue either right away or a few hours later, it explained the lack of updates/texts and claims of tiredness even though she would be on the phone instead of sleeping, and before I would come home from work again, calls before I walk through the door. Or on my drive home. After days of terrible feelings and dreams and suspicions, lack of interest, aplus what I found I had enough and confronted her. Let’s just say she did not take it lightly whatsoever. She called me controlling, a crazy, invasion of privacy, I hate you etc… in between the name calling and the proof I hit her with she wanted to separate once again… she changed her passwords to her phone she claimed we were done and I did not understand her and why she did what she did. She claimed it was just a vent session/sessions. Of her daily life and troubles with the babies and my need to feel loved and important. Talk about what their lives are like. She claimed it was all too much and me not accepting what she did and why she hid it or didn’t tell me of anything and accept it was just her trying to be “friends” with a male. I don’t believe in male friends and I have trust issues because of a similar situation in my previous relationship, plus I’ve seen and been through a lot to know better and not trust people. (Rough childhood). So I told her to go with the individual and we would be done. Since she wouldn’t give me reassurance or let me look for myself if the chatting stopped. She came around and apologized the day after because she didn’t accept she cheated by faith and confiding in others but didn’t want to split up. I accepted her apology for the fact I love and care for this person, and felt like she is the one for me. Plus her being the mother to our babies, a good mom at that. I always remind her and be nice to her tell her thank you for everything possible to give thanks about. Point being the calls stopped she said she blocked the person and she seemed normal after that, sex was back, love and attention plus us bonding a bit more going on a few dates. Fast forward to today, I’ve been noticing similar behaviors, cold, distant, always needing and asking for space, short answers or uninterested, she says she’s depressed again, it’s gotten to the point where I don’t feel loved and wanted and valued in the relationship. I know her life is rough and I know it’s hard but it’s hard on me too. Provide for us, career choices, my own family troubles, all the while trying to be the best husband and father to my family. I have no time to myself I sacrifice it all to be with my daughters and help her so she doesn’t say I don’t do anything when I’m home or off on the weekends. My job sometimes has the freedom to leave early I work usually 10 hrs a day. Sometimes to be nice or the fact that I long some sort of signal or hope I leave early to help or to have intimacy. I try to do any little deed or gesture for her. Our love languages are different I’m more touchy and she’s more gestures. I’ve brought this up to her and she claims she can’t do it as much as she wants to for me it feels unnatural. I don’t ask for much, a simple touch of the hand, a random hug, a thank you here and there, something. Sex would be great but I’ve gotten tired and scared to initiate because it’ll seem like a favor and unwanted. Although I ask if I satisfy her, she replies yes and I feel I do based on vibe but nonetheless. I wish it could be more, I wish she would take my love language and concerns for her behaviors and mental health seriously and not just always want space and being left alone and not talked to, wanting to go out to concerts etc… just pushed aside because I care too much for her, or want her to be better as a person and a partner too. Because she’s a good mom. Blamed for the way she feels or acts only towards me. And name call and guilt trip me. If you made it this far I appreciate all input. Good or bad. So am I the asshole? For asking for changes from her same way she asked me years back to be less needy and care less, be less jealous, and work on some anger that would arise at times. I’m finally putting my needs up there and I wanna be her partner and confidant, but she seems to indicate it won’t be like how it used to be anymore. And not just the honey moon phase part. Show me some sort of signs a taste of what I look for from my partner. Because a lot is being expected and needed of me. And still somehow it’s not enough and when I ask for something it’s an issue and an attack and uses depression and every day stresses as her reasoning. I’ve brought it to her attention I told her if she doesn’t want to change or help her partner out like I feel I do unconditionally I want to separate. Because I value myself and what I bring to anyone special in my life. And after my last relationship due to a similar lack of this and similar situations. And if it’s not reciprocating it gets tiring and hurtful. She rather split up. Please advise me

Hello! Trying to rid myself of cards, please help! Not Looking to currently BUY cards, if you ask I will not respond as clearly you didnt read :(

Would like to focus on trades for my wantlist, open to selling cards with Paypal. 

Paypal cards are $1 PWE Shipped (no tracking, anything under $15), or $5 BMWT

◦•●◉ FS/T ◉●•◦

• 05-21-24 Timestamped Binder
  • Price List (Based on Current Market Value)
  • Full Binder at 60% MV

◦•●◉ Want List ◉●•◦

• Wantlist- (25 cards, Lost Zone PLAY! Cards + More)
• List of Lost Zone Cards Needed
• Binder Quality Japanese Cards
  • Misty's Tears (Banned) & Lugia Jpn Neo Gen - unlimited
• Promo Inserts
  • Detective Pikachu Insert- Misc Detective Pikachu Products
  • Ready for Pokemon Adventure - Misc Promo Insert
  • Other Vintage Promo Inserts!
• Other Detective Pikachu products

Cards Gone:
posted 6:00pm on 5-21-24

HARRISON, NY - (NewMediaWire) - May 16, 2024 - Metawells Oil & Gas Inc. (the "Company" or "KOSK") is pleased to announce that it has entered into a definitive agreement dated May 14, 2024 (the "Definitive") to merge with Global Oil & Gas Recovery Corp. an arm's length privately held company ("GlobalOG") incorporated in the state of Delaware.
The transaction is structured as a shares exchange and KOSK will acquire all the issued and outstanding capital interest or shareholdings of Global, in exchange with KOSK authorized but unissued common stock. The agreement includes a series of representations and warranties by both parties and conditions that precedent the corporate action. Global is currently a private company and exists in good standing under the laws of the State of Delaware.
KOSK President Ronald Minsky states that, "This merger with Global will be extremely beneficial for KOSK shareholders as Global brings in cutting edge technology for the recuperation of oil and gas from abandoned and zombie oil fields in the U.S. and Canada." Global Oil and Gas Recovery Corporation CEO Richard Cindric states, "Global has been looking for the proper partner to take our business to new heights with our cutting-edge technology. We look forward to the days ahead to putting our company on the map as a big player in the oil and gas recovery business."
About Metawells Oil & Gas Inc.
Metawells Oil & Gas Inc. is a holding company founded in the State of Nevada and engaged in two sectors, the energy sector and the sector of technology. The Company is set to forge strategic collaborations and develop both business segments to accelerate the company growth. The company is currently working on its strategic business plan to become an oil producer, focused on the multi-zone development and Enhanced Oil Recovery ("EOR") of "extreme shallow" medium gravity oil.
www.metawellsinc.com
About Global Oil & Gas Recovery Corp.
The Company's primary focus is to implement Enhanced Oil Recovery (EOR) techniques to existing abandoned wells, maturing oil fields and previously tapped reserves located in the United States and Canada. By restoring these existing oil and gas wells we create value for our shareholders by generating revenue from oil and gas production.
Our Green Technology - Is Focused on Methane Emission Mitigation
The company is funding the further development of a patented Mobile Methane Refining Unit (MRU). Oil and gas companies flare more than $10.6 billion in natural gas (methane) every year. The MRU technology eliminates the flaring, venting and leaking of abandoned wells by capturing the waste methane gas and converting it to a usable fuel. This technology is currently in final development stages and could be ready for production in late 2024. To learn more visit: https://globaloilandgasrecovery.com
Forward-Looking Statements:
Safe Harbor Statement - In addition to historical information, this press release may contain statements that constitute forward-looking statements within the meaning of the Securities Act of 1933 and the Securities Exchange Act of 1934, as amended by the Private Securities Litigation Reform Act of 1995. Forward-looking statements contained in this press release include the intent, belief, or expectations of the Company and members of its management team with respect to the Company's future business operations and the assumptions upon which such statements are based. Prospective investors are cautioned that any such forward-looking statements are not guarantees of future performance and involve risks and uncertainties and that actual results may differ materially from those contemplated by such forward-looking statements. Factors that could cause these differences include, but are not limited to, failure to complete anticipated sales under negotiations, lack of revenue growth, client discontinuances, failure to realize improvements in performance, efficiency, profitability, and adverse developments with respect to litigation or increased litigation costs, the operation or performance of the Company's business units or the market price of its common stock. Additional factors that could cause actual results to differ materially from those contemplated within this press release can also be found on the Company's website. The Company disclaims any responsibility to update any forward-looking statements.
Contact Information
For more information contact:
Ronald Minsky, President
Phone: (212) 381-8029
contact@metawellsinc.com
X twiter: @metawells

Om getting made redundant this year, the date keeps getting pushed forward however I still like to see what type of jobs are being advertised.
I seen a job saying Paid researcher, work from home, part time.
There wasn't many details but I'm just wondering what this job entails.
I don't think it's a scam but I get the feeling it would be a heavily target base job.
I've been in the same job for decades so hunting for a new job has been a real eye opener

Based on the recently released waitlist document how long will it take for EB4 Oct 2022 to become the Priority date ?

Despite number of marketing initiaves (Apple/Samsung promotions, 20% lockup, sport and celebrity sponsors) and despite being well established with a proven utility, CRO fails to enter any bull run to date (well since the last bear market).
Has anyone bothered analysing the chains where CRO is listed? I suspect ERC20 and Cronos CRO represent most of the token volume and TX. It would be interesting to understand the supply and demand mechanism. Realistically the only actors who could keep CRO so low would be whales (Crypto.com, maybe other actors?) or the majority of the user base if DCAing against FIAT or BTC (or swapping for meme coins, but I can’t believe there’d be so many people falling for memes)
Clearly this cannot be caused by dilution since we have a fixed supply and occasional burns. Has anyone actually bothered analysing the chain the understand the movements at a high level over the past 12 months? This phenomena is even more obvious where BTC pumps and CRO fails to follow. What is CRO being sold or swapped for?

Martlet and Papyrus are two names that are rather famous throughout the Undertale and Undertale yellow communities. Of course, there are many things that come to mind when you here both names. Papyrus for example is the loud. arrogant, but kind skeleton that is the brother to the funny Skeleton Man (Sans). Martlet on the other hand you might remember as kind of a mother figure to clover if you support the idea of momlet or maybe just the puzzle loving bird friend of clover. Each of these characters have unique fates for each Fanfiction a member of our beloved community writes. Whether its romance, tragedy, or a simple slice of life fanfic. So where do these two falls in my little world of a second human monster war. Well, it might be a bit more complex than one might think.
​
Opening UN Archives.

The second monster human war was the most destructive war in history and resulted in the destruction of several Undertale AUs and monster race losing 90% of their population all because they followed a racist and mentally Ill scientist name Chujin. As tragic of this sounds it doesn't mean people tried to improve the aftermath and make life easier. Papyrus and Martlet are a good example of this.
Martlet was born in the human year 1959 at an unknown date. Accounts of her early life and parents have been lost to history to due Asgor and the monsters general poor record keeping with Alphy's and Chujin being the only ones who kept some records of sorts. It's possible this poor record keeping is why Chujin thought the monster population was bigger than it actually was. What we do know is Martlets part the events of what the United Nations Elimination of Monsters Coalition calls Undertale Yellow are and some of her life just before the events. It's suggested by Human historians that Martlet got into puzzles when she was possibly 12 in human years but that's just a rough idea. Interviews with her few surviving friends state that she made her first puzzle at 6 years old in monster years which is roughly 14 years old in human years. To further complicate things is the fact that different monsters age differently than others with Martlets species having the closest correlation to human years out of all monsters.
Payrpus birth and exact age are harder to track down. All we know is that he and his brother Sans (Currently living in New Ebot in Colorado. Mt Ebot is in Colorado) appeared in the underground out of nowhere in 1980 on the [Redacted] of [Redacted]. Papyrus took a job as a royal guard somewhere between 1980-1981 and met Martlet possibly around that time. We both know based on William Henderson's interview with Papyrus and a mention by Flowey that they exchanged blueprints for their respective puzzles on occasions and while Papyrus describes her as his closest friend Sans stated that "She was simply my brothers pen pal" whether this was Sans simply messing with Willaim Henderson or him saying the true we'll never know.
EVENTS OF UNDERTALE YELLOW
The turning point in Martlets life came on May 12th when a certain kid named Clover fell into the underground. Clover was born on the 4th of July 1969 though his family moved to the to the town of Ebot Colorado in 1978. He never got to meet his father until 1975 due to his father's enlistment into the Unified states of the Americas army during the Vietnam war. (1962-74. This is an Alternate Vietnam the US still loses however) When his father came back, he was a drunken and PTSD ridden mess. Clover's mother was little better as she was rather neglectful and lazy. Clovers Unhealthy Family life would play a role into going ahead with his plan to find the forgotten 6 children who had gone missing throughout the 60s and 70s. He developed a fascination with cowboys when watching western movies (Particularly the old ones) along with a cowboy attire. He wore this attire proudly. Due to his family life, he matured rapidly. When his friend Integra (The soul integrity) went missing when she was dared to climb MT Ebot it was the final nail in the coffin for him and he began to prepare himself for an expedition into the mountain. He bought a Coll-Wesson revolver and rope by stealing money from his father. (He was beaten for this) on May the 12th he climbed Mt Ebot and jumped into the underground and died.... Oh, wait no Flowey brought him back to life without him knowing. Clover then met Flowey around 30 minutes later starting his journey.
Martlet in the meantime was lazily relaxing in one of the many checkpoints in the Snowdin area. The exact time she met clover is unknown, but it was most likely 1 hour after she had sent a list of suggestions to how Payprus could improve his puzzles. Martlet originally tried to follow protocol and capture clover however after seeing how peaceful clover was, she gave up on it. Then after their failed attempt to get to the hot lands, the fiasco in the wild east, and meeting Ceroba and Chujin, Ceroba (Chujin is alive in my story, but Kanko is not and was killed by integrity according to Chujin) was revealed to want clovers soul to bring back Kanako. Chujin was horrified at the thought of killing an innocent kid and went against his wife's wishes (Unknown to the others this was a ploy to gain trust) Martlet and clover spoke briefly on a hotel rooftop before going with Starlo and Chujin to face Ceroba. Ceroba knocked Martlet, Starlo, and Chujin (Who was only pretending) out. Clover battled it out with Ceroba on the 13ths of May. Clover came close to winning until Chujin drove a knife through his back killing him. Chujin then asked Ceroba to not use clovers soul to bring back monster kind but to instead to give it to Asgor so monster kind can be free. (Chujin is still the royal scientist in my AU) Ceroba after some arguing agrees with Chujin as Martlet and Starlo begin to wake up. Chujin calls the royal guard who apprehend Starlo but Martlet Barely escapes by flying away.
Knowing her time was now limited she sent the last Blueprints to Papyrus before the royal Guard burst into her home at around midnight and captured her. Martlet and Starlo were executed by undying on the 14th of May early morning. While Martlets story came to an end her legacy and puzzles did not as Papyrus received her blueprints on the 14th and would hide them from the royal guard.
EVENTS OF THE SECOND HUMAN MONSTER WAR AND PAPYRUSES RISE TO FAME.
Papyrus would with the help of Sans create more puzzle's and preserve Martlets puzzles. Then on September 4th, 1984, Frisk fell into the underground and was killed by Undying. After this Papyrus was ordered to destroy his puzzle's as they now had no use to monster kind as the invasion of the surface was inevitable. Papyrus as a sign of things to come suggested instead of destroying the puzzles they should be used to entertain monster kind's children. Undying would allow it and Papyrus who still wanted to hunt the humans though his loyalty was shaken by martlets execution agreed to be in the first wave out of the underground. On the 10th of September the monster climbed up to the surface for the first time.
The sight was so breathtaking many simply forget that they were invading. Chujin fear that the humans would be waiting for them up on the surface ready to exterminate monster kind was proven false within the first day as no human was spotted on the first day. Chujin still refused to believe reports and still ordered the invasion forward. Papyrus spent the first day trying to make more puzzles. On the 11th the town of Ebot was spotted and attacked by Asgors army and Chujins boss monsters and axis models. Papyrus was in the attack but quickly simply broken down as he watched the monsters slaughter humans indiscriminately. What made Papyrus ultimately desert the Royal Guard was the Human police's along with the 9th National Guards battalions last stand as they bought time for the civilians to evacuate the time. Papyrus stated in his interview with William Henderson decades later "IT WAS THEN ON THAT DAY I KNEW WE HAD LOST THE WAR. THE HUMANS PROVED BOTH BRAVER AND FAR KINDER THAN THE GREAT PAPYRUS AND MONSTER KIND!! IF THE GREAT PAPYRUS COULD GO BACK IN TIME HE WOULD HAVE GLADLY FOUGHT WITH THOSE BRAVE HUMANS!!"
Papyrus and later his brother Sans would go into hiding for most of the war until 1996 when they switched sides and joined the Commonwealth of Britannia's army. They would serve in the Commonwealths army until 1998 when they both retired. It was around this time when Papyrus began his journey to help the entertainment industry and carry on Martlets puzzle making legacy. The second human monster war by the time he had retired had gone on for 14 brutal years and large amounts of homes and cities had been destroyed. Papyrus would turn his attention to entertaining the many children who had lost their fathers and mothers during the ongoing conflict by hosting's puzzle solving challenges. Many of these puzzles' Martlets puzzles, and these proved to be a favorite among human children. Sans also helped and had stopped being lazily for once in his life.
When interviewed by William Henderson and asked what inspired him to do this he stated. "THE GREAT PAPYRUS SIMPLY DOESNT WATCH AS CHILDREN CRY IN THEIR SLEEPY AND REMAIN SAD. ITS NOT WHAT THE GREAT PAPYRUS DOES." The entertainment industry caught onto what Papyrus was doing in 2000 and offered to not only to fund his puzzle challenges but to make them into a game show of sorts. The show "Papyruses puzzles" was born as a result of this and has remained popular ever since. Sans found his calling in the fast-food industry and opened up his own fast-food chain to honor Grillbies who had died during the war. Papyrus would give a lot of credit to Martlet for helping him discover puzzles and funded the building of a statue in her honor.
WHAT PAPYRUS IS DOING NOW.
Papyrus is currently these days is donating much of his money to the protection of the underground charity and has recently created the Blue Bird Puzzle Corporation (Refence to Martlet). Martlet was dug up by UNEMC soldiers (United Nations Eliminations of Monsters Coalition) and was buried under a second statue made in her honor in Snowdin next to the Statue of Clover and the 6 other souls. Papyrus pays a visit to her grave once very 6 months. An inscription on her statue reads "The one that inspired THE GREAT PAPYRUS to make puzzles."

Hi! I am relaying a message from my mother who is an independent broker in Illinois. (She is having issues with broker support) Please let me know if you have any information regarding this question.
My United Illinois clients are getting two rate increases for Medigap Plan G back-to-back and most are not 69, so it is not based on losing the enrollment discount. I have been told by multiple agents from broker support that they are locked in for 12 months, and on their 12-month anniversary they get the increase from the previous year.. and then they are skipped over in June.
Today I was told that they get the 2023 increase on their 12-month anniversary date and the 2024 increase on the June 1st date.
For example, my client signed up at 65 3/1/2023 and he received his increase 3/1/2024 and now he is receiving the 2024 increase 6/1? Two increases back to back.
I have another client who signed up at 68 2/1/2023 and received an increase 2/1/2024. She is getting another increase 6/1 and she will lose 3% of her enrollment discount this year, so that will be a third increase in one year. When does that happen?
Can anyone please confirm when these increases take place?

**TL;DR;** : BFF moves to different city, starts to act differently, wears our friendship down over a series of slights, plans trip to my dream locale without telling me, during my birthday. Now wants to talk and hang out since I've gone low contact.
TW: Infidelity.
General Warning: Long AF, and this is the abridged version if you can believe it.
So my closest friend since High School, someone I considered closer than a brother, that I have been through so much with, worked with, traveled with, lived with, cried with. My kindred spirit, who's been by my side for over half of the total time I have existed. A person who shaped my growth, and I his (or so I thought), in the past 3 or so years has become borderline unrecognizable to me, and it has eaten my spirit alive.
So...essentially I could write a book about my relationship with this person, but I'll try to keep things pointed and brief. I'll refer to him as Dan. Things between us had been solid for years, and we enjoyed a closeness and camaraderie on par with the likes of Troy & Abed, or Frodo & Sam, until after a period of rising tension between him and his first wife. He divorced her for "not having enough direction in life" is essentially how he put it, which, fair enough, I knew she wasn't perfect and likely needed some therapy to improve her mind set and outlook, but I did consider her a friend, and was remorseful that they couldn't make it work. During this time I let him stay with me and my gf (I'll refer to her as Lisa) for about a month rent free while he and his ex were sorting everything out,
Eventually he moves to the next city over and condemns our hometown as being some worthless crime-infested rathole, which I assume stems from the animosity of his divorce so I let him have that. Only he started to mention some version of that every time he came to visit, now I'm not smitten with this place or anything, but what he describes is a gross exaggeration, there are tons of worse places to live and this is where my career is, so I don't love the idea of constantly being down on it. Ironically the city he moved to is considered our "Sister City" and I personally do not see much of a difference between the two.
Anyway, eventually he meets a nice girl (I'll refer to her as Amy) and they begin dating, Amy, Lisa, and I actually develop a great rapport over shared interests pretty quickly, and while I'm happy to have a new friend, I begin to resent how little effort Dan's ever put into getting to know Lisa. Lisa admits to me privately that she occasionally feels excluded by him sometimes, but she says she gets enough attention from myself and Amy that it's no big deal and we're able to do many things as a 4-person group for awhile.
This dynamic would regrettably sour during a trip to a major city for a few days, just the 4 of us again. Where a singular innocuous interaction between Lisa and Dan would apparently cause him to cultivate resentment for her, the trip itself would go fine, but upon our return Dan would tell me he doesn't think Lisa likes him, and how he didn't appreciate her insulting his driving. Though the "insult" he was referring to was a harmless tease about some minor detail that both myself, Amy, and I'm pretty sure he himself had laughed at, at the time.
I explained how I felt he was misinterpreting some things, and to his credit, he did relent over that specific instance, but he and Lisa still have no relationship to speak of and hardly communicate when they're around each other at all, whereas, in stark contrast, I'll get the occasional random text from Amy about our shared interests, and she has become almost like a sister to me in the 3 years she and Dan have been together. Dan and Lisa are both aware of our rapport, and both encourage it, but I still try to keep out casual chats to a minimum (but I never just outright ignore her either), because I dislike how Dan refuses to even try to really befriend Lisa. Yet paradoxically he almost demands that I try to cultivate a friendship with Amy on par with the one I had with his Ex-Wife, and was visibly disappointed when I said I didn't know if it was possible initially. Seems like hypocrisy that should be obvious to even him.
And I wish this was the extent of it, but it gets much worse unfortunately. After returning from a business trip about a year and a half ago, he insists that he needs to confide something in me, and goes on to confess to making out with and feeling up one of his coworkers after the two of them split a number of drinks and she invited him back to her apartment. Evidently he wasn't the only one doing any cheating because she stopped it before it went any further and changed into large, unflattering loungewear, evidently indicating she was done with their liaison.
Now this I laid into him over, lambasting it as one of the worse, if not the actual worst thing he's ever done. I think he expected me to ease his conscience, but he encouraged me to befriend Amy, so I did, so effectively he cheated on a good friend of mine, and it pissed me the f*ck off. He eventually said he'd had enough, he knows it was stupid and he'd never do it again, and I just felt absolutely lost. Burdened with this horrific knowledge by someone I cared so deeply for, to the detriment of another person I care for, not to mention the horrible optics I feared from Lisa discovering that I'd be willing to conceal such a thing. Despite the utter shock, and beginning to question whether or not I even truly know this man, I choose to conceal it. I did not think it was my place to tell Amy, if she were to even believe me in the first place.
Between the hostility directed at Lisa, and now contending with the questionability of his moral character, I began to wonder if our relationship was doomed, and seeds of resentment likely began to take root in me at this time. Shortly after this he was accepted to an MBA program and began prioritizing socializing with his classmates over me, side-lining and blowing me off again and again in favor of these people who were essentially strangers. I'll admit, I used to be a little covetous of his attention, even amongst our mutual friends, but I never openly displayed this, as it's wrong to try and dictate who a person can spend time with, but the level of "social demotion" he began to put me through was absurd, to the point it arguably warranted ghosting him on it's own.
For example: Somehow we both managed to acquire multi-day passes to this theme park we both enjoy, and have a handful of good memories of attending together in HS, around the same time. However, he could not be bothered to try and arrange an outing with me to it, because his was apparently an MBA-related thing, and he wanted to save the last couple days for his classmates because they might want to go later, and he'd have to make sure that wasn't happening before he'd deign to waste them on me. Even the few times he actually invited me to go to MBA related events, he'd spend the entire time seeking out his classmates to talk to, and would not introduce me to anyone, even if I was hovering nearby, leaving me with Amy and Lisa (not that I'm complaining, I much prefer their company to that of strangers, though of course we did a decent amount of our own mingling, the 3 of us just stuck together for the most part.)
Finally, on to the latest nail in the coffin, the one that has caused me to go low contact with him and even sent some mild reverberations through our extended friend group. Since some of the earliest days of our friendship, we have discussed going to Japan together one day. About mid-March of this year, I saw some YT Short on how the exchange rate between the Yen and my home country's currency has become very favorable, and I forwarded this to him hoping to maybe broach the topic of planning to go, I think to myself maybe finally taking this trip can help us get our relationship back on track, only for him to reveal he'd already planned a trip there for himself and Amy, next month, right on top of my birthday. My birthday being something we and our extended friend group have done for whole weekends almost ritualistically at my family's lake house that they're kind enough to let me use for the past couple of years.
At that moment I felt broken. I felt utterly betrayed, and my resentment finally boiled over. All of the callousness and selfishness I felt I perceived from him drove me into a rage and after I was finished reciting multiple, vulgar, Sophia Petrillo-style curses upon his name, I calmed myself, and text him back, "Sounds like fun. Hope you guys enjoy." and went completely low contact from there. I also decided to not arrange my party from there, I knew I would be too consumed with negativity to enjoy it. Our other friends found this odd, but I just rattled off some weak excuses as to why it wouldn't work out this year.
So now all that has come and gone, and he apparently proposed to Amy while they were over there. Of course she said yes, and honestly I wish I could be happy for them, I really do. But the relationship is founded on a profound lie, and I finally revealed the truth to Lisa when I felt that the damage to Dan and I's relationship pushed it beyond ever being fully repaired again, knowing full well what she might think of me for it, but I was at a point where I decided I don't deserve to be happy, and I have failed her, I have failed Amy, and I let Dan lead me to all this. I'm sure I've failed him in some way too, probably by not forcing him to hold himself accountable, and by not calling him out on the Japan trip. He comes off so ignorant sometimes, like he's completely unaware that his actions affect anyone else, but that's not an excuse for me.
So now...I'm stuck as to what to do next. Lisa has forgiven me for my idiocy and secret-keeping, luckily that's literally the only thing I've ever kept from her, and she was understanding about the complexity of the issue. Ultimately as long as she still loves me, everything else is a bonus from my perspective.
But now I've got our extended circle pushing us to get back in contact, and he recently text me after not reaching out for a month. They know there's some kind of rift, but they've no idea the extent of my grievances, and to reveal his infidelity in particular would likely lead to a dramatic upheaval of some kind, and it also doesn't feel like it's my place to do it. I really only told Lisa because I cannot stand to keep anything from her, and she's very trustworthy with sensitive information, in addition to being far more understanding and sympathetic than I deserve.
I really want to avoid as much drama and turmoil as possible, and my father has advised me to "quietly fade out of his live" by continuing to limit contact, but reply when he reaches out, and even be open to attending any large gatherings I know he'll be at if I have other friends there, and eventually he'll take the hint and move on without a whole volatile episode. This doesn't feel like an insane approach to me, based on his treatment of me for the last year and half or so, and him reaching out like it's business as usual after a month of no contact, seems to suggest his interest in hashing anything out is minimal.
However, I have heard from other friends that he's lost contact with most of his classmates now that they're several months past graduation, and he's apparently struggling to land a job due to how picky he is over every detail, he's had like over a dozen interviews with noteworthy entities and none of them are good enough for one reason or another and so he remains at the place he's been since prior to being accepted by the MBA, and apparently out hometown isn't such a cesspit because now he's apparently been returning to go to the local hobby shops with some of our mutual friends. It kinda feels like he anticipated some grandiose move to a large city with a high-paying, low-demand job, while retaining all his upwardly mobile MBA buddies.
Oh, and now unbelievably, he's reached out wanting to hang out just the two of us. Clearly wanting to address my recent distance from him, and likely drag me through the details of that godforsaken trip.
Any advice or insight on all this would be appreciated. In my heart of hearts I still love him, I probably always will, but what he has become only seems to bring me pain.

I would like to get a swiss GADA watch. My budget would be below 4k. I am not willing to get secondhand because actually they are difficult to find and import here, so let's base on the MSRP value.
I am so far between Longines Spirit 37 in blue and also the new Tudor Black Bay 36 in blue. I recently also saw the Tag Heuer Carrera Date 39mm and it also looks awesome.
Quick comparison:
Longines Spirit 37:
Pros: size, finish, date, mostly brushed surface, price
Cons: 5 stars, red seconds hand (already have it in my current watch), bracelet, case seems to scratch easily
Tudor BB36:
Pros: unique design, amazing sunburst dial, size, bracelet
Cons: price (1300 more than the Spirit), no date
Tag Heuer Carrera Date 39mm:
Pros: looks good, more GADA feeling than the others
Cons: price in between the others, movement
What do you guys think? What else would you recommend?
Edit: I do not want a dive watch for GADA, I will not be diving with it. I find non dive watches more elegant, and easier to wear on most occasions.

Here is the official link that shows how to calculate eligibility: https://www.dshs.texas.gov/hivstd/policy/policies/220-001#:\~:text=Half%20Birth%20Month%20–%20Half%20birth,half%20birth%20month%20is%20July).
TLDR verion: I'm trying to create an Excel formula to determine if someone is "Eligible" or "Not Eligible" based on their birth month and the last date they completed eligibility. Clients need to come twice a year: once in their birth month and once in the half birth month (6 months after the birth month). Here are the rules:
Find the client's birth month. Determine the half birth month (6 months after the birth month). If eligibility is completed on time, the client remains eligible until the next due month. During the next due month (either the birth month or half birth month), the client remains eligible but must complete eligibility within that month to continue being eligible. For example, if the birth month is April and the last eligibility was completed in January, the next eligibility is due by the end of October.
How can I set up this calculation in Excel to output either "Eligible" or "Not Eligible"? Any help with creating this formula would be greatly appreciated!
More derailed explanation:
Eligibility Updates:
1. Birth Month Update (BMU):
· Clients must come in for an update during their birth month every year.
· If they complete this update on time, they remain eligible.
· If they miss this update and don't come in during their birth month, they become "Not Eligible" until they complete a late BMU.
2. Half Birth Month Update (HBMU):
· Six months after their birth month, clients need another update.
· If they complete this on time, they stay eligible.
· If they miss this update and don't come in during their half birth month, they become "Not Eligible" until they complete a late HBMU.
Late Updates:

• Clients who miss either the BMU or HBMU and do not complete them within the designated months become "Not Eligible" immediately after the designated month ends.
• They have up to six months from the missed month to complete a late update and regain eligibility.
• Completing a late update results in a shorter eligibility window. This means they become eligible again only from the day they complete the late update and this eligibility will last until the next required update (either BMU or HBMU).
• If a client comes in for a late HBMU just before their next BMU, they will only be eligible for a short period, as they must update again in their birth month.

Key Points to Remember:

• Clients are required to update their eligibility within their birth month, meaning they can come any day during that month to retain their eligibility. If a client's birth month passes without them coming in for an update, they become "Not Eligible."
• Similarly, clients must update their eligibility within their half birth month, which is six months after their birth month. They need to come any day during this month to stay eligible. If this month passes without an update, they are switched to "Not Eligible."
• Clients cannot do these updates earlier than their designated birth month or half birth month.

Examples:

• If a client's birthday is in January, they need to update in January (BMU) and then again in July (HBMU).
• If they miss the January update and come in February for a late BMU, they are only eligible from the day they complete the late update and will need to update again in July.

This structured process ensures clients regularly update their information to maintain eligibility for services.
Below are examples of the calculation with different scenarios:
+ABCD 1LastEligibilityDOBNotesManualStatus 21/3/20241/17/1994Did eligibility right on timeEligible 32/11/20242/20/1938Did eligibility right on timeEligible 43/9/20243/25/1975Did eligibility right on timeEligible 54/5/20244/26/1953Did eligibility right on timeEligible 65/11/20245/11/1979Did eligibility right on timeEligible 712/2/20236/12/1994Did eligibility right on timeEligible 81/4/20247/21/1979Did eligibility right on timeEligible 92/4/20248/23/1978Did eligibility right on timeEligible 103/12/20249/5/1984Did eligibility right on timeEligible 114/13/202410/11/1987Did eligibility right on timeEligible 125/13/202411/13/1934Did eligibility right on timeEligible 1312/12/202312/6/1958Did eligibility right on timeEligible 1411/10/20235/20/1991Eligible but needs to complete an update by the end of this month to stay eligibleEligible but due this month 1511/26/20235/9/1937Eligible but needs to complete an update by the end of this month to stay eligibleEligible but due this month 1611/4/20235/22/1958Eligible but needs to complete an update by the end of this month to stay eligibleEligible but due this month 1711/7/20235/14/1935Eligible but needs to complete an update by the end of this month to stay eligibleEligible but due this month 1811/17/20235/20/1958Eligible but needs to complete an update by the end of this month to stay eligibleEligible but due this month 1911/20/20235/7/1956Eligible but needs to complete an update by the end of this month to stay eligibleEligible but due this month 2011/13/202311/23/1989Eligible but needs to complete an update by the end of this month to stay eligibleEligible but due this month 2111/16/202311/24/1970Eligible but needs to complete an update by the end of this month to stay eligibleEligible but due this month 2211/25/202311/9/1958Eligible but needs to complete an update by the end of this month to stay eligibleEligible but due this month 2311/21/202311/3/1936Eligible but needs to complete an update by the end of this month to stay eligibleEligible but due this month 2411/13/202311/22/1967Eligible but needs to complete an update by the end of this month to stay eligibleEligible but due this month 2511/28/202311/23/1952Eligible but needs to complete an update by the end of this month to stay eligibleEligible but due this month 266/20/20231/20/1937Missed half birth month updateNot Eligible 277/11/20232/11/1984Missed half birth month updateNot Eligible 288/20/20233/20/1986Missed half birth month updateNot Eligible 299/1/20234/1/1996Missed half birth month updateNot Eligible 3010/13/20235/13/1943Missed half birth month updateNot Eligible 3111/10/20226/10/1995Missed half birth month updateNot Eligible 3212/1/20227/1/1968Missed half birth month updateNot Eligible 331/2/20238/2/1971Missed half birth month updateNot Eligible 342/19/20239/19/1982Missed half birth month updateNot Eligible 353/6/202310/6/1962Missed half birth month updateNot Eligible 362/17/202310/17/1934Missed half birth month updateNot Eligible 375/1/202312/1/1978Missed half birth month updateNot Eligible 3812/1/20211/12/1976Missed birth month updateNot Eligible 391/24/20222/2/1980Missed birth month updateNot Eligible 402/25/20223/22/1964Missed birth month updateNot Eligible 413/17/20224/20/1939Missed birth month updateNot Eligible 424/4/20225/5/1955Missed birth month updateNot Eligible 435/3/20226/1/1981Missed birth month updateNot Eligible 446/26/20227/9/1960Missed birth month updateNot Eligible 457/25/20228/11/1940Missed birth month updateNot Eligible 468/4/20229/12/1988Missed birth month updateNot Eligible 479/8/202210/5/1995Missed birth month updateNot Eligible 4810/1/202211/8/1981Missed birth month updateNot Eligible 4911/14/202212/19/1934Missed birth month updateNot Eligible 503/30/20241/14/1983Eligible, client did eligible very late *has a gap in eligible since they did it late*Eligible 514/30/20242/6/1976Eligible, client did eligible very late *has a gap in eligible since they did it late*Eligible 525/10/20243/13/1971Eligible, client did eligible very late *has a gap in eligible since they did it late*Eligible 535/17/20244/7/1958Eligible, client did eligible very late *has a gap in eligible since they did it late*Eligible 544/30/20241/17/1972Eligible, client did eligible very late *has a gap in eligible since they did it late*Eligible 552/8/20246/7/1969Eligible, client did eligible very late *has a gap in eligible since they did it late*Eligible 563/23/20247/12/1937Eligible, client did eligible very late *has a gap in eligible since they did it late*Eligible 574/6/20248/15/1935Eligible, client did eligible very late *has a gap in eligible since they did it late*Eligible 585/28/20249/7/1990Eligible, client did eligible very late *has a gap in eligible since they did it late*Eligible 596/10/202410/15/1993Eligible, client did eligible very late *has a gap in eligible since they did it late*Eligible 603/8/20246/5/1999Eligible, client did eligible very late *has a gap in eligible since they did it late*Eligible 612/28/202412/3/1939Eligible, client did eligible very late *has a gap in eligible since they did it late*Eligible 624/3/20245/22/1995Eligible, Client did eligblity EXTREMELY late but is still due THIS monthEligible but due this month 634/1/20245/15/1976Eligible, Client did eligblity EXTREMELY late but is still due THIS monthEligible but due this month 644/18/20245/28/1975Eligible, Client did eligblity EXTREMELY late but is still due THIS monthEligible but due this month 654/11/20245/3/1999Eligible, Client did eligblity EXTREMELY late but is still due THIS monthEligible but due this month 664/19/20245/16/1956Eligible, Client did eligblity EXTREMELY late but is still due THIS monthEligible but due this month 674/21/20245/22/1967Eligible, Client did eligblity EXTREMELY late but is still due THIS monthEligible but due this month 684/10/202411/28/1979Eligible, Client did eligblity EXTREMELY late but is still due THIS monthEligible but due this month 694/11/202411/28/1957Eligible, Client did eligblity EXTREMELY late but is still due THIS monthEligible but due this month 704/1/202411/12/1970Eligible, Client did eligblity EXTREMELY late but is still due THIS monthEligible but due this month 714/3/202411/11/1950Eligible, Client did eligblity EXTREMELY late but is still due THIS monthEligible but due this month 724/11/202411/23/1934Eligible, Client did eligblity EXTREMELY late but is still due THIS monthEligible but due this month 734/24/202411/10/1946Eligible, Client did eligblity EXTREMELY late but is still due THIS monthEligible but due this month 745/1/20246/23/1984Eligible, Client did eligibility EXTREMELY late but is still due NEXT monthEligible 755/2/20246/25/1976Eligible, Client did eligibility EXTREMELY late but is still due NEXT monthEligible 765/3/20246/28/1983Eligible, Client did eligibility EXTREMELY late but is still due NEXT monthEligible 775/4/20246/1/1936Eligible, Client did eligibility EXTREMELY late but is still due NEXT monthEligible 785/5/20246/21/1948Eligible, Client did eligibility EXTREMELY late but is still due NEXT monthEligible 795/6/20246/24/1966Eligible, Client did eligibility EXTREMELY late but is still due NEXT monthEligible 805/7/202412/12/1981Eligible, Client did eligibility EXTREMELY late but is still due NEXT monthEligible 815/8/202412/5/1962Eligible, Client did eligibility EXTREMELY late but is still due NEXT monthEligible 825/9/202412/19/1995Eligible, Client did eligibility EXTREMELY late but is still due NEXT monthEligible 835/10/202412/25/1985Eligible, Client did eligibility EXTREMELY late but is still due NEXT monthEligible 845/11/202412/12/1978Eligible, Client did eligibility EXTREMELY late but is still due NEXT monthEligible 855/12/202412/13/1949Eligible, Client did eligibility EXTREMELY late but is still due NEXT monthEligible
Table formatting brought to you by ExcelToReddit

A very special lady in my life is having a birthday on Friday, and I want to do a mix of outdoor and indoor things. Aside from any events that would be going on this weekend, what would be some good out door things to do. Infact, let’s make this into a game, like the dating game.
Contestant #1 . I am a young woman about to have her 29th birthday on Friday. I love Reno and the truckee meadows and I love being outdoors too. I also love punk rock and all things weird and eclectic and am a bit of a movie buff myself. If you were to pick me up at 8:00 on my birthday, what kinds of fun could we get into around the area based on any and all upcoming events.

I’m not going to spare the details because I couldn’t care less if he were to miraculously stumble across this. My ex and I have a close friendship that we’ve worked hard for, but first and foremost we are co parents and that never changes. (For context about the “chummy” conversation.)
He has been experiencing some mental issues with his memory. So in some cases he will need reminded multiple times of things, but he doesn’t like to be reminded that he was already told. But he also struggles with change and “last minute” plans so it’s important to communicate with him before the fact.
Our 12 year olds baseball team made it to the tournament phase of the season and it happened to be on his week that those games started. I knew about the tournament weeks ago and mentioned it multiple times, once by text, once by phone call, once in person. The day of comes around and I have his uniform and gear, I text his dad to check in and let him know I have it and how to get it… he texts back irritated that I’m “just finding out”, so I explain “I’m not just finding out, I’m just now sharing details but we have known about the date for a few weeks, and I told you a few different ways” (trying to jog his memory, I listed when I told him before).
Long story short he gets upset, and I am wildly confused about what I did to deserve the frustration and attitude I was getting. He tells me to leave him alone and curses at me multiple times, to which I reply with an apology for the frustration but that I don’t deserve the wrath from him, that it’s misplaced and that I get to call people out when they treat me poorly, I also explained why I said what I said, and covered the bases of conversation that got us there. The last thing he said was that I was harassing him (I’m the kind of person who breaks texts into thoughts and doesn’t do all in one message) and that I was pointless to talk to.
This is mostly a vent but also, I have no idea how to handle this going forward. I told him I felt like I was stuck between a rock and a hard place with this stuff, and to tell me how exactly to handle it, but this just got me a reply about how I need to stop and how impossible I am. What was I supposed to do here?

Almost everyone is probably aware of the timeline inconsistency in Book 1 of HoC with the Fall of Pale being said to have just happened, and this not matching up with it supposedly being 1159 Burn's Sleep. What most people might not be aware of is that even if the year was 1163 it would still be an inconsistency because it would be the wrong time of the year.
In chapter 2 of GotM Tattersail tells us Pale fell in late winter:

In some military headquarters back in the Empire's capital of Unta, three thousand leagues distant, an anonymous aide would paint a red stroke across the 2nd Army on the active list, and then write in fine script beside it: Pale, late winter, the 1163rd Year of Burn's Sleep. Thus would the death of nine thousand men and women be noted. And then forgotten.

But in chapter 1 of HoC, right after Karsa has started his journey, we are told that it is late spring:

Less than a score days remained in this, the season of spring.

While in chapter 3 Torvald Nom says Pale has just fallen:

‘This is Culvern Crossing,’ the Daru went on, ‘and it’s a storm swirling with the latest news from the south. All right, a small storm, given the size of this latrine pit of a town. The scum of the Nathii, which is saying a lot. The Malazan company’s pretty excited, though. Pale’s just fallen, you see. A big battle, lots of sorcery, and Moon’s Spawn retreated-likely headed to Darujhistan, in fact. Beru take me, I wish I was there right now, watching it crossing the lake, what a sight that’d be. The company, of course, are wishing they’d been there for the battle. Idiots, but that’s soldiers for you-’

It's clear that Pale must have just fallen, and it can't be months old news that have just reached them since Torvald thinks Moon's Spawn is crossing Lake Azur in that very moment. Karsa's journey would have to have taken him nine months for it to be late spring when he set out, but be late winter when he's in Culvern Crossing. Karsa needing nine months to reach Silver Lake seems far too long.
There is also another indication that Karsa travels to Seven Cities around the time of GotM, and that is later in chapter 3 after they have entered the Nascent when the Unbound are on board the Silanda after Karsa has killed Binadas they sense they are hunted by other T'lan Imass:

‘Let us find out. Begin the preparations. Ber’ok, scatter that handful of otataral dust in the cabin-the Tiste Edur sorcerer’s warren remains open and, in this place, it will quickly become a wound… a growing wound. The time has not yet come for such unveilings.’ The speaker then lifted its mangled head and seemed to sniff the air. ‘We must work quickly,’ it announced after a moment. ‘I believe we are being hunted.’ The remaining six turned to face the speaker, who nodded in answer to their silent question. ‘Yes. There are kin upon our trail.’

I think it's a very reasonable to assume that these are the same hunters that Felisin's group encounter in chapter 9 of DG. I also think it would be weird to have these T'lan hunters roaming the Nascent for years without finding the Silanda, but them being there for a handful of months seems relatively reasonable.
Another oddity related to the timeline placement of HoC Book 1 is the age of Karsa's daughters in TtH. If we assume that Harllo is five years old in TtH as the book says, then TtH should be set during late winter 1170, since he was conceived in the middle of 1164 in MoI, and would therefore be born in 1165 and be five in 1170. If HoC book 1 is in 1159 then this would mean that Karsa's daughters should be around 10 years old, which seems far too young.
Karsa's daughters being 10 might in fact be too generous. In tGiNW we learn that Sarlis was pregnant with Rant for 2 years, and if Teblor women have equally long pregnancies then Karsa's daughters wouldn't be born before 1161, and only be 9 in TtH. If we also take the date for HoC Book 1 to be winter of 1163 based on the Fall of Pale reference, then Karsa's daughters would in fact be younger than Harrlo.
Something that many might not know is that when HoC was originally published the year given for Book 1 wasn't 1159, but 1139. I wonder if Erikson might have based the age of Karsa's daughters on the 1139 date, which would mean that they are in their late twenties in TtH, which seems much more reasonable. But this would be a very strange error to make if the 1139 date was simply a typo. Erikson should know that HoC Book 1 isn't decades before the other books, unless that was in fact the original plan and he forgot he had changed it.
I feel the type of timeline errors related to HoC Book 1 indicate that there originally was a time skip in the middle of it that was abandoned relatively late in the writing process. Erikson has said that he doesn't care overmuch about the timeline, but he also prides himself on that he doesn't put anything in a book that he doesn't feel must absolutely be there. I can't really see any purpose to the mention of the Fall of Pale except to give the reader an idea of the timeline, but this would be unnecessary since we have already been given the year and even the season earlier in the book. If there had been a time skip then Erikson feeling the need to clarify when the story is taking place would make perfect sense.
My guess is that Erikson originally planned for HoC Book 1 to start in late spring of 1139, and then have a time skip and end it in late winter of 1163. In chapter 2 Karsa gets captured by the people of Silver Lake and put in a slave pit, but he almost immediately escapes before being recaptured by Malazan soldiers. The natural place for a time skip would have been to have Karsa be a slave for 24 years before his escape attempt.
In addition to the age of Karsa's daughter making more sense in TtH, another neat thing with the part of HoC before Karsa becomes a slave being in 1139 would be that Elade Tharos would be 80 years old in tGiNW just like Karsa was 80 at the beginning of HoC, and I really like the symmetry in that. In HoC Elade Tharos is "no more than forty" when he witnesses Karsa killing his family. tGiNW is set about ten years after MBotF, which would be around 1180, roughly 40 years after 1139.
Elade Tharos's ambitions in tGiNW are exactly the same as Karsa's in chapter 1 of HoC when we learn he is 80:

And I have but just begun on this path. Newly arrived to my eightieth year of life, finally a warrior in truth. I have heard the oldest words, the whispers, of the One, who will unite the Teblor, who will bind the clans one and all and lead them into the lowlands and so begin the War of the People. These whispers, they are the voice of promise, and that voice is mine.

If Erikson in fact planned for Karsa to be enslaved for several years then why did he abandon this idea? It might be that Karsa being a slave for so long became too derivative of the Conan the Barbarian film, or it might be as simple that he felt the story flowed better without Karsa being enslaved for a long time. Or there might never have been a time skip with Karsa being enslaved, and I'm just taking crazy pills.

Hi,
I have a table that contains dates for both Created Date and Resolved Date. I am trying to chart these as a monthly total for each. The data is kind of like:
CreatedDate ResolvedDate
2024-04-15 2024-04-17
2024-04-19 2024-05-01
2024-04-20 2024-04-25
2024-05-01 2024-05-02
So I'd like 2 months shown on the axis category, April and May, each with 2 columns. April would have 3 created and 2 resolved, May would have 1 created and 2 resolved. Really hope this makes sense.
I don't seem to be able to achieve this. the closest I can get is to show the resolved count for items created in the same month, so I'd have 3 created for April, 1 created for May, 3 resolved for April and 1 resolved for May.
I have tried adding a table with the months in, then linking the data but I can't add two relationships, so it sticks to showing me the resolved counts against the month the item was created in.
My current solution is very sketchy, I’ve made 2 pivot tables for the data, one for CreatedMonth and another for ResolvedMonth, then I’ve used those as the data source for my chart. This is really cumbersome and looks horrible. Is there a better way?
Any thoughts how I can get accurate counts based on the dates in the fields ?
ETA: Office 365, Windows 11 Edit: attempting to fix the table formatting

I need help cleaning up a massive travel invoice I receive monthly.
It has 30 columns and at least 1200 lines.
Ideally, I'd like the invoice to be in Sheet 1.
Sheet 2 would have my necessary 7 columns that pulls info from Sheet 1 based on a specific project number (or customer would be fine too).
Example: If Project A (or Customer E) has 50 out of 1200 lines for April, it would populate specific info from the 50 lines into specific columns (Traveler, Amount, Dates Traveled, etc). When May comes and it's 75 lines, it would populate with the new data from Sheet 1.
I don't believe Xlookup or Vlookup would be helpful because I would not have any static information each month except for the project number.
Is this hopeless?
ETA: Excel Office w/sub on Windows

Olá! It's me! I'm Rickle Pick! Hello everyone!
So, I’ve been listening to some stories about Neckbeards and Kevins, as well as some Legbeards and Kevinas (Is that the correct term??). Well, most of the times I listen to those stories, I am reminded of some people I used to deal with in school. Specifically, this time, the tale of a guy, who I’ll name Roger Bacon for reasons soon to be explained. Sorry for any grammar errors, eu falo português! I also don't really know the posting rules here, so I'll just post it and see how it goes lol
This prologue is more of a compilation of stories that I think is needed before we get to the main shenanigans and awkward situations this guy put himself AND me into. If this generates any interest, I will post more specific tales of this weirdo! Long time lurker, first time poster, english is definitely not my first language and the whole shebang. I also never wrote a text this large, so go easy on me!
THE LIST:
Well, I guess it’s usual to make a list of people that appear in those stories, so I’ll make one just for you!
Me: Your basic musician-type nerdy theater kid white guy! Tall, thin with medium-light brown hair. At the time, I usually wore a leather jacket and sometimes a hat (not a fedora, a Chaplin hat. Also, where I live, hats are an acceptable attire choice lol). I kinda looked like the Once-ler from Lorax. At this time, I had just failed my second year of high school because of… honestly just lack of effort, mixed with undiagnosed ADHD and a bit of lacking in the ol’ confidence and self-respect department. At the time, I also was physically incapable of saying no and had a crippling fear of disappointing people.
Roger Bacon: 168 centimeters (or 5,5ft for the uncivilized) of pure muscle! Or at least he thought it was that way. In reality, he did have some muscles but was kinda chubby and flaccid. Not FAT fat, but athletic fat (???). He was mixed, light skinned, had shaved short curly hair, no beard (except for the inside beard) and his face was a special kind of oval, besides having a, "chiseled jaw". He always smelled like he had just gotten out of a day-long brawl with a french cologne wearing burrito. He wasn't an usual neckbeard, but he was a huge attention whore. Thought too much of himself, as we say here in Brazil: “Promised too much, delivered nothing at all.” His moto was: “Dude, I think she’s into me!”
For now, these are the characters, as the focus is to introduce you all to Roger Bacon as a person.
With the list over, let us get to the story.
FEBUARY 2018:
The year of 2018 started pretty badly for me. I had just been held back from 10th grade, had no friends and didn’t really know anyone. As most people know, high school in Brazil is quite different from America, as we start school in febuary and we share the same class with the same people all day, excluding language classes and extra-curriculum activities. This meant that, for the foreseeable future, I was alone. On the first day of school, I shyly sat on the last desk on the far right corner of the room, as I scanned my classroom to see what I was dealing with. A few groups of people sitting together, talking and greeting their friends, some loners reading or playing on their phones. The artsy girl drawing a beauriful woman on the white board. Some guy drawing a penis right beside her. Perfect balance. A normal classroom.
Another difference between our school systems is that we don’t really have clicks based on like Jocks or Nerds or Pretty Girls, it’s mostly people who connected in childhood or matched personalities, instead of connecting through roles and interests within the school. Not saying either one is better, just different. And yeah, the bullying situation is just as bad. I was bullied for my whole middle school and through first year of high school, and made a very specific group of low profile friends. So when I failed sophomore year I thought to myself “Screw it, if I’m going to be held back, that’s at least a second chance for me to grow an acceptable social life.”
All this elucidates how intimidating it could be for someone to join a new classroom full of mostly new faces. If you were unable to make a friend, you’d pretty much be on your own for the whole year unless an already formed group “adopted” you. So my mindset was to at least try and meet new people.
Well, have you ever said “I’m gonna do this thing I’ve never done before!” And got the worst possible circunstance you could get at the very first attempt? Welp, that’s just what happened. My strategy was to start small, and go talk to only one person at first, and then try to interact with a few of the groups as that was a bit intimidating (fun fact: we call “clicks “panelinhas”, spelled “pah-neh-lin-ias”, wich means “little pans”, because, you know, they’re closed groups, like a closed… pan. Idk, anyway), so I went up to this guy in front of me, and that guy was Roger Bacon.
He was almost lying on his chair, on a cool guy pose while messing around on his phone. He was also wearing a black sports tank top with a grey opened sweatshirt and the standard uniform wine-red shorts that were mandatory in our school, which made him look like a short and jelly version of Rocky balboa mixed with Kick Buttowski.
In real life, my name and his started with sequential letters, and because of this, we would sit near each other for the whole year, so I guessed he’d be the best person to interact with. I also KINDA knew him because we had basketball training after class in like 2015 and I went to the same church as him, in which I befriended his brother, Kevin, slightly, but didn’t have much contact with him because he had already graduated (I have some stories about basketball and church so tell me if yall wanna read them lol). I approached and gestured for him to take of his headphones (They were extremely loud, so I could recognize he was listening to the song In The End by Linkin Park).
Me: Hey! Aren’t you Roger? You’re Kevin’s brother, right?
RB, trying to sound stoic: “Oh, hey Rick. Yeah, it’s me… fortunately for you.”
Me: “What do you mean?”
RB explained: “Well, I’m the cool brother! Kevin was lame, and also had no friends.”
Me: “Isn’t he in a band with [insert band members]? They seem to be his friends…
RB: “They might look nice, but they’re all assholes. Don’t let them fool you! I’m the nice brother, Kevin is a dipshit.
To elucidate you: that band he said was made of assholes was the Worship band of the church we went to. It was also the worship band that I occasionally played the piano with.
I said, jokingly: “Guess I’m an asshole then! Because, ya know, I play with them more often than not”
RB: “No man, it’s just them. They’re just so infuriating! They never let me participate!”
Me: “Wow, that’s weird… I mean, I didn’t know you were a musician too! What instrument do you play?”
RB: “I play the drums, piano, guitar, bass and I also sing. But Kevin keeps me out because he wants to be the 'star brother'!”
I could tell he got a little heated, and went silent for a little while. I decided not to mention the band or his brother in his presence, 'cause ya know, that was pretty awkward lol.
I remember thinking to myself “This guy’s kinda weird”, because his brother was one of the nicest people I had ever known, and he also didn’t have the say on who played on the band, the worship leader did. I thought about confronting Roger with this, but I didn’t want to abandon my quest of finding a friend. And also, he seemed chill at first, if not a little insecure.
I was a little uncomfortable with this line of conversation, so I opted to change the subject. We talked a bit more about me having been held back, and he went on about how he was really good at math and chemistry, and how he could help me with my school stuff.
I was glad to have someone to help me, and even more, someone who apparently liked the stuff I liked. I remembered what he was listening to, so I commented on it and asked which song was his favorite, and we talked about Linkin Park for a bit. He said “In The End” was his favorite song, and then I mentioned I was a huge Linkin Park fan. He told me he was a big fan as well, but as we talked about it, it became a bit fishy. He never specifically said anything and just kinda repeated what I said. It became clear after a while that “In The End” was, in fact, virtually the only song he knew from that band.
That was the first time I noticed something strange, but only in hindsight, as at the time I just thought he really wanted to make a human connection. I remember thinking he was just excited to know someone who was open to talking to him, so I didn’t think anything of it.
Also, not everyone memorizes this stuff, and maybe he did only remember one song, for whatever reason, so I let that pass. I only felt necessary to include this information because it was, at least in some way, the first lie that Roger told me, a little sample, if you will, of what’s to come.
After we talked for a while, mostly catching up on our lives, the bell rung and our first actual class had begun, and I had the first-hand experience of this guy’s sense of humor. The teacher walked into the classroom and introduced himself as the new Geography teacher, and started a power point presentation about some of the subjects we’d be covering that year, saying “Please pay attention to this class, as you’ll need to know how our schedule will work”. Roger looked back and said “Huh, I guess this class is useless for you then, being held back and all, hahah”, which made everyone look at me and just kinda stare like I should say something, and he kept repeating the joke to anyone that showed any reaction besides just staring, adding “Amirite? Huh? Amirite?”.
I was kinda salty about this, but my people pleasing peapod brain couldn’t handle letting it show, so I just laughed and said nothing. I guessed it was a poorly thought out joke at first, but then Roger proceeded to make the same comment on every single one of the opening classes we had for both of the introductory days. There were 12 of them. He did it every time. Every. Single. Time. Sometimes he repeated it even louder, as if he didn’t think people heard it, because no-one was laughing.
“Ok”, I said to myself, “He didn’t mean to make fun of me, he’s just a little overexcited and probably is trying to make a connection and help me get acquainted to our classmates.”
Either way, I was very uncomfortable and annoyed.
Thankfully, this came to a halt when he was practically thrown out of the Literature class for interrupting the teacher mid-sentence while she talked about how important the first month of class would be for our comprehension of the whole subject. He made the joke four times. FOUR TIMES. I was beginning to think that I made a mistake, but well, the mistake was already made, at least I can try and understand him a bit, before judging.
The rest of the week went by and he didn’t get any better, but I got kinda used to it. In fact, I actually enjoyed having conversations with him at recess, when we could talk a bit more freely. And, as all things in life tend to do, it got weirder. Weirder in the sense that as we spoke more and more, I noticed a bit of a concerning pattern: every time I shared an experience I had, he’d share a cooler and more awesome almost equal experience back.
Some light examples:
I told him I went hiking for 2-3 kilometers on a trail by the beach. Then he smirked and said he went hiking for “at least 7 kilometers on a deserted beach that only his father’s company’s employees had access to and he saw a Gorilla. There are no gorillas in Brazil. Maybe in zoos, I guess, but definitely no gorillas.
I told him I was kinda sad because I had just ended a “thing” with a girl from my old grade. He “proudly” said he’s been dumped by his ex, Laura, after they dated for 11 months and made out aaaallll the time after school, and he even saw her “lady parts” once!”.
And then he went on to describe that shit for like 3 straight classes, adding more and more to the story every chance he had to speak, providing me with my daily dose of cringe in tiny bits of uncomfortable information at a time! Like a sporadic cringe snack! Sninge! Crack? Probably Crack.
ANYWAYS
There was also the time I told him the story of how I became best friends with a guy because we got into a fight in P.E.. We were arguing about some nonsense and he wanted to fight, so after he socked me on my stomach, I cheaply kicked him in the face so hard I almost sprained my ankle and then we started laughing (because I guess sometimes that’s all it takes). Phillip is my best friend for almost 10 years now.
Roger puffed up his soap dish chest went on for at least 2 classes worth of time about how he “beat up his last bully and broke both of his arms, and almost went to prison, but his dad is a lawyer and bailed him out”. Dude was 16, and I don’t think he’d need to be bailed out, but okay… He was, in fact, very badass.
Those are all approximations of actual stories he told me, because my ADHD memory is shit, but you get the gist of it.
My days were filled with endless stories filled with absolute bullshit, like a Gary Stu from a dying rpg campaign. (I have a story about a DnD game he participated in, but that’s for another time!)
Roger, not content with lying to me about anecdotal facts about his past that could be true but were almost certainly mostly bullshit (if not entirely), had a tendency to just negate reality when presented with facts in certain situations.
And example of this situation is the time we were doing a group assignment and a girl at least 3 meters in front of him dropped her pencil and he just kinda threw himself on the ground, picked it up and said “Here you go, Lana!”. She said “Thanks Roger!”, barely turning around and carried on with the assignment. Roger, then, turned to me with a sleek shit feasting smirk on his face and said:
RB: “Dude, do you think she’s into me??”
I contained a ridiculing laughter just in time to realize he was dead serious.
I said “I don’t know man… Doesn’t seem like it to me, but sure I guess.”
RB then straight up asked ME to go talk to her and get HIM her number. When I asked why shouldn’t he do it, he said it was “the wingman’s job to get the number of the girl” so that he wouldn’t “look weak for asking”
I said I’d do it, cause I genuinely wanted to see if he was right about her liking him (I hadn’t really understood the dynamics of the classroom, so I actually had no idea if he was actually right, just a gut feeling that yeah, he probably wasn’t).
I went up to her and asked for her number, explaining it was Roger who was interested in her and, as I pulled out my raging 2014’s Sony XPeria, I was swiftly interrupted by her delicately saying “Sorry! I have a boyfriend.” (She said the boyfriend part out loud, and stared at Roger)
I said “Oh, ok, sorry to bother ya!” and, as I was starting to walk back, I noticed that she turned back and glared at Roger. Later that day her boyfriend texted him, telling him that “He’s got to stop asking her out, and next time, if he wants to get rejected, he should come do it himself” He called him a moron. And then they both blocked him.
Well, that was embarrassing.
Despite having been turned down (for the 6th time now, I’d come to find out), Roger still maintained that she was “totally into him”, and it wasn’t just Lana. Any time he had even the smallest interaction with any girl, he’d say that they’re “probably into him”, or that “they made out at a party, but she was drunk and probably won’t remember”, or that they “sent him nudes last year but he’s already deleted them because he’s a good person, with morals”.
This went on for a while and, after about a month, Roger begun to dial down the crazy stories about how he’s a “badass and he gets all the girls but he’s single because he’s too good for them”. Until I started seeing a girl from another church I started going to. I met Janice () at the churches youth group, and we talked the whole time afterwards about lots of stuff. This name’s given because of her insanely similar laughter and demeanor of Janice from Friends. We clicked well and I was very interested in her, but my ADHD ass forgot to get her number, and remembered it only when she had already left.
When I told Roger, he laughed and said “I had just cockblocked myself” and that I’d “probably missed my only chance of banging a girl ever”. I was bummed, but clarified I didn’t really want to have sex before marriage or at least before making an emotional connection (I had just then begun to go to church, so I didn’t really get the rules, so it was more of a personal choice I always had in mind when thinking about dating. Also I met her at church so wtf).
He said “that was dumb” and, “even though he was a virgin, he’d dance the Devil’s Tango with the first chick he had the chance to”
“What about Laura?”, I asked. His face went from a confident smirk to an almost sad expression, and he blankly replied: “She didn’t want to, but I tried anyway at times. I even got a blowie once!” I let it go because I was very tired, as Mondays are hell on earth.
A few classes later, I went up to him and reminded him of our conversation and asked:
I said “Ooookay, but what about all those girls you told me were all over you? Didn’t they want to have some bum bum times with you??”
He was taken by surprise by this, and was visibly trying so hard to think of an answer for at least 15 seconds. He mumbled “Well…”, and like just left. Like he got up in the middle of the class, and walked away. Well that was weird!
He got back and I didn’t pry, thinking he had some kind of trauma, and I tried to change the subject.
I say “tried” because instead we were suddenly interrupted by a girl asking me if I was Rick. I didn’t know her or how she had materialized beside our desks, but later I found out that that girl’s name was Mary. She had blue eyes and was smiling mischievously, and I answered “Yup, that’s me”. She then giggled and said that “Anna wanted to make out with me after class”. Me and Roger were both very much taken aback by this, and I immediately thought to myself that this could only be some type of dare or prank (which it probably was), and was about to try and respond with the first witty joke that popped up in my monkey brain when, without missing a beat, Roger said “Rick’s already seeing someone!”. Mary was visibly surprised and said “Oh, you have a girlfriend??” with a look of disbelief on her face. Ouch. I explained that I wouldn’t say I do, I just liked a girl from church and we’re going to see a movie with some friends on Saturday, and that either way it was a pass on the making out sesh! Mary said “Oh, okay!” and started to walk back to her desk. I was about to make a joke and say that Anna could probably do better than me, when Roger interjected:
RB: “I’d like a making out sesh if she’s interested!”
Mary looked back with a visible “Lol, ew no” expression and just said: “I’m sure you would, Roger!”, turned away and sat down, laughing with her friends when she got to her desk.
Roger turned to me and said:
RB: “Dude, do you think she’s into me?”
This cycle repeated once in a while, so I’m not gonna tell you all of the situations that I felt like shaking him and trying to wake him up like Woody does to Buzz Lightyear in Toy Story. Exhausting, right?
Another thing Roger tended to brag about was that he did Martial Arts. Specifically, Kung Fu (Wushu). I would come to find out that, in the year before, he made a big scene to tell everyone in class that he’d just started Kung-Fu classes and, when no-one payed attention, he started a habit of punching the wall beside his desk, audibly making “hmpft” noises. When anyone asked why, he’d say he was training, and that his Sensei (Not shifu, he actually said sensei) had asked him to do that to strengthen his fists so he could harness all the strength he had, so one day he could put a hole through a wall with his fists.
He would also punch the school’s fireproof doors because, if you didn’t know, they dent pretty easily, and he would show me and tell me to bask at his strength and ability. That until I said I’d give it a try. He told me not to, because “I wasn’t trained” and “it could really hurt my hand”. I punched the door. It made a dent.
Roger said it was beginners luck and that he’s just a good teacher. I told him I really didn’t even make an effort to pay attention, the metal was just bendy and soft. Roger never talked about it again, and started only punching walls. For that, he would feel superior because, yeah I ain’t doing that. There were consequences for his wall punching habits, but I’ll address that some other time.
The last thing I’ll say about him for now is how clueless Roger was, how much he thought of himself and how he treated everyone else like they should (and would) respecting for what he told them, and not for what he showed them.
(I plan on doing another part eventually, with the story of how his disconnection with reality, lies, schemes and generally narcissist behavior eventually exploded back into his face.)
As a last bit of exposition of our circumstances, there’s an important part of our school life that fueled Roger’s social life’s demise.
Pranking was a big part of my class’ culture. There were also some people in my classroom who were bullied. The thing is: the bullies actually made fun of literally everyone else, which made it very hard to figure out if you were considered a target or just a colleague. They’d mess with people’s stuff, tie backpacks to the windows and hide pencil cases, but they would also do it to their own group.
Essentially, the only way to differentiate those who they considered normal schoolmates from those who were bullied was the frequency of the pranks and their demeanor in general towards those people. They would apologize for the pranks, ask to make up for it, buy you lunch, make jokes, try to laugh with you. I swear some of those guys were politicians in the making. Luckily, was very good friends with one of the guys in that group, I’ll call him Turkey, who was also held back a few years before me, and he liked my sister, so I was mostly safe.
Roger, on the other hand, THOUGHT he was one of the pranksters. Every time someone pranked him or anyone else, he would laugh knowingly, like he was in on the joke the whole time, and try to make jokes, only to further humiliate himself. And they would capitalize on that as hard as they could.
You see, Roger liked to portray himself as the “Mysterious-Badass-Quiet-Protagonist-Take-No-Shit-From-Anyone-Mr.-Steal-Yo-Girl” guy. This combo of personality substitutes was the recipe for the downfall of his popularity, and the start of the longest lasting pranks I’ve ever seen in my life, which will come if yall want another post. That prank is also the reason I named him Roger Bacon.
Because he was so into Math and Science (and into himself too lol) he also always wanted to look like the smartest guy in the room. The problem is that, as our first semester went by, it became clear that he wasn’t as good as he hyped himself up to be. Shocker, right? This was proven to be true when we were doing a chemistry group test, and I was paired with him and Anna, and we needed to calculate some entropies or whatever. He made a point of telling us to do all of the “easy ones”, and he would take on the more complicated questions.
The thing is, he was trying really hard to look like a genius, to maybe impress Anna, so every time he made a calculation, he would roll his eyes up and kinda vibrate a little. I guess he wanted to look like a genius mathematics robot, but instead he looked like he was trying to imitate an autistic person having a small stroke. I didn’t mind the Good Doctor amateur impersonation, because at least it looked like he knew what he was doing. Unfortunately, it really just looked like he knew what he was doing.
Each easy question of the test was worth 1 point, and there were 4 of them, and there were 3 hard questions worth 2 points each. We got a 4/10 on that test, and lo and behold, the only questions we got right were the ones me and Anna worked on. We were a bit pissed, not gonna lie.
Until the last time we spoke, Roger still blames Anna for his complete failure at this test for, in his words, distracting him because she was obviously into him.
But that’s just Roger, I guess!
I've got A LOT of stories about Roger and other neckbeards I've encountered, and I can't wait to tell them!
Until then, thanks for reading, and have a good one yall!

Hi, I’m bonzos-number-1-fan You might know me from such theories as; "Theory of Fears; or, Zur Furchtlehre", "What R# Means: The ABCs of Fear" or, "Padlocks, How Do They Even Work?".
I’m back with another essay about this show. Today’s subject is a little different from previous ones. Rather than explaining what I think something in this show is, I’ll be explaining what I think it isn’t. What I’m going to be talking about is the very popular theory that CAT1/2/3 means the supernatural aspect is a Person/Place/Object.
Because I’m talking about other people’s ideas here I do want to start off by saying I understand why this theory is attractive and I don’t think anyone is stupid or anything for believing it. I just personally think there are angles from which it doesn’t work and that the sum of them makes it fairly certain to be untrue. I could be very wrong about that, and my other theories, or I could be very right. I don’t think either scenario matters much. This essay isn’t about being right but about talking about a big thing in the community. I just happen to not believe this one and people have signalled interest in hearing why.
So with all that out of the way I’m going to start by establishing the terminology being used. Then I’ll break down what this theory is positing and follow it up with the ways I think it does and doesn’t work. That’s basically it but with 16 episodes and supplemental material to cover it’s still not going to be terribly short.
Huge thanks to @brettanomycroft for proof reading/editing this madness.

Spoilers for The Magnus Protocol up to and including episode 16.

 

What is a CAT#?

A CAT# is the first 4-5 characters of an OIAR's incident report header. While these are not often referenced in the main body of the show, each incident we hear is accompanied by one in the show's description and transcript. As an example this is the case number for the first incident of episode 1.

CAT1RBC5257-12052022-09012024

Reanimation (Partial) -/- Regret [Email]

The first line is the case number. CAT1 is this incident's CAT#. The RBC (R#/Rank) and 5257 (DPHW) have been topics I've discussed in essays I linked at the start. The second line is the header and is formatted “Section (Subsection) -/- Crosslink [Format]”. CAT#s is all we're concerning ourselves with today but I will be using this terminology going forward.
Now we know what they look like, what is it we know about them? Well, not much at all. From the show itself we know there are CAT1s, CAT2s, CAT3s and CAT23s. From the Klaus excel sheet that was found as part of the ARG (and can be found here) we also know there are CAT12s and CAT13s. With that information we can say with some certainty that CAT1, CAT2, and CAT3 are non-mutually exclusive groupings. It's very likely not a linear scale of some description—i.e CAT23 isn't between CAT2 and CAT3—because CAT13 doesn't fit such a scale. Which means that where there are two numbers in a CAT# that incident likely fits both groups rather than being a new group. This also strongly implies that an incident could be CAT123 although we have yet to see that demonstrated.
We also know that CAT is short for "Category". In the Klaus sheet these numbers are located in the "Kategorie" column. "Kategorie" being German for "category". This unfortunately doesn't tell us anything we didn't already know. CAT#s denote some form of grouping.
There is only one other fact we know about CAT#s and that's this:

ALICE
Right, so, after each entry there's four numbers. That’s the DPHW. So, “dolls comma watching” is… 1157. Then you cross reference with the table here, that would be a 2-C, and then you type that into the box here, along with date of incident if there is one and today’s date.

Which is not a lot to go on at all but it does raise an important question. How is a CAT# assigned? There are two major assumptions you could make here. The first is the “objective method” and that it’s a factor of either the section, subject, DPHW or a combination thereof. This means that they are pre-assigned in the same way that DPHWs are. This method has an inherent trait in that it means every header manifests as the same sort of thing. While it’s not a problem to say that every Doll (Watching) is the same— that could just be the rules of the setting—it does make CAT# itself somewhat redundant. The terminology of the headers will often describe something inherent about the CAT#. We have a CAT3 case that’s Dice (Bone) -/- Fate but dice are objects so why would you need to restate that?
The second is the “subjective method” in which the assessor chooses the CAT# based on the incident itself. The subjective method has a larger assumption built into it in that they know what CAT#s are. They don’t know what DPHW is and have shown no indication of knowing what CAT# is either. So I’d say it’s less likely that CAT#s are subjective rather than objective. However, for the purposes of this essay I will assume that both are as likely to be true as each other and will refer to them both. Different cases show different flaws when one of these is true over the other, so both will get discussed.
 

What is Person/Place/Object?

Person/Place/Object is the theory that the three single digit CAT#s stand for Person, Place, and Object respectively. Combinations of these digits represent that an incident falls into each category. A CAT1 incident indicates that the supernatural element of an incident is a person in some respect, while a CAT23 would indicate both a place and an object.
As I have mentioned this isn’t a theory with a single theorist or origin to point to. As such this theory isn’t a monolith and there is variation in how these categories are presented from theory to theory. Sometimes “Person” is literal and other times it includes any sentient thing, “places” aren’t always strictly physical locations, and the narrative framing of what “objects” are may shift. As such I will be taking the broadest interpretation of these categories as their definitions.
People will include animals and other sentient beings. Places will include metaphysical locations. Objects won’t need to be physical in nature. This is both the fairest I can be to all theories and also the strongest I can make this theory. The broader I can make these definitions, the more different ideas can be represented and the more wiggle room the CAT#s get.
What I’ll do next is run through all the incidents the show has mentioned and explain them as I see it. We’ll start with the ones that fit this theory well because they require little explanation. Then when that’s established we’ll talk about the places I think this theory falls down.
 

Which Incidents fit well?

CAT1:

CAT1RBC5257 Reanimation (Partial) -/- Regret: There is something like a zombie in this incident. That’s something like a person and so fits well.
CAT1RB4824 Injury (Needles) -/- Intimidation: Needles is definitely a person, no question there.
CAT1RB2275 Mascot (Kids) -/- Murder: Bonzo walks, “talks”, and probably thinks. He’s a person.
CAT1B4728 Mascot (Kids) -/- Frenzy: Bonzo is still doing that stuff so is still a person.
CAT1RB4426 Transformation (Snake) -/-Horde: There was a person and they turned into snakes. Snakes count as people here too. Given the amount of snakes this is the most CAT1 CAT1.
CAT1RB-6451 Hunt (Aristocratic) -/- Compulsion: Lady M is the most person on this list.
CAT1RB1565 Tattoo (Influencer) -/- Cardiac: Definitely involves a person doing something supernatural.
 

CAT2:

CAT2C8175 Infection (Full Body) -/- Arboreal: This incident takes place in a time and space bending garden. Makes perfect sense for CAT2.
CAT2RB2377 Disappearance (Undetermined) -/- Invitation: A spooky theatre is a location for sure.
 

CAT3:

CAT3RBC1567 Transformation (Full) -/- Dysmorphic: In this instance the object in question is the tattoo. Which I think is really stretching the definition of “object” but I’m still going to give it to the theory.
CAT3C7494 Collection (Blood) -/- Musical: A magical violin is definitely an object.
CAT3RB3354 Dice (Bone) -/- Fate: Bone dice are inarguably objects.
CAT3RB4622 Gambling (Application) -/- Murder: It’s another stretch to call an app an object but, again, happy to give it to the theory.
 

CAT23:

CAT23RAB2155 Transformation (Eyes) -/- Trespass: In this incident’s case the location is the Magnus Institute and the object is the box RedCanary stole. I think there are some problems with this one but there is enough to get through.
 

Which Incidents Don't?

CAT1:

CAT1RBC5257 Reanimation (Partial) -/- Regret: You’re not misremembering, I did say this fit well. Because on the surface it really does make sense, but I think if you push just a little it makes very little sense. Why? Because any category you want to place this in is easily justified in the incident itself. There is a zombie-esque thing but also a Frankenstein-esque figure for CAT1. CAT 2 would be the location of the graveyard itself. It was chosen by the presumed creator of this zombie-like creature and is depicted similar to the one in Marked, a CAT23 incident. If this theory is correct and the Marked graveyard is supernatural I can’t see a reason to discount that possibility here. CAT3 fits too because the presumed creation method is that they were Frankenstein-ed which does require some sort of surgical apparatus. But whichever choice you make you’ve not really clarified the incident at all.
This issue is further seen in the methodology of assigning CAT#s.Objectively it has the same problem all objective assignments do. Reanimation implies there is going to be a reanimated person so restating that doesn’t add much. If we look at the subjective method then this is chosen largely at random. There isn’t enough of an indication in this incident to clearly state which CAT this is. So it’s neither helped in the assessment of the incident and doesn’t provide anything for response because all choices are justifiable.
 
CAT1RB4426 Transformation (Snake) -/- Horde: Not misremembering here either. There is a problem with this one in that it’s demonstrated to be an infection. This makes the source of the affliction basically unknowable. The source could qualify it for other CATs but the larger issue here is that what CAT1 means here and what it means elsewhere are not that comparable. Needles, Bonzo, and Lady M are all sentient and independent. The afflicted we see in this case are normal people until they get very rapidly sick, summon a portal to the snake dimension in their throats, and die. Which leaves CAT1 translating to “something in the rough shape of a person” which is a really wide range of interpretations. Which is something I feel has little practical utility in either assessing or responding to these incidents.
 
CAT1RB1565 Tattoo (Influencer) -/- Cardiac: Still not misremembering. While you can say that Ink5oul or Madame E are the person in this instance there is a major conflict here with CAT3RBC1567 Transformation (Full) -/- Dysmorphic. If Daria’s transformation was CAT3 because tattoos are objects then there is no reasonable justification that this isn’t at least CAT13. It’s the same person, doing the same thing, to a very similar result but in a different CAT. The headers are entirely different, and so this/that may be misfiled, but it highlights a problem with Daria’s incident. If the incident with the Tattoo header isn’t an object then tattoos are probably not objects under this scheme.
If this is objective then this is always a person, or on people, which makes a great deal of sense. However if that’s the case then the objective method for Daria’s case sort of falls apart because there wasn’t really a secondary object there. Additionally, because all incidents with that case’s header being objects is a huge stretch. So if this incident, or that incident, is misfiled it doesn’t really matter. In either case (or even if both of them are misfiled), it largely disproves that tattoos are objects, creating a larger issue with that theory as it affects more than just this case. Subjectively as far as we’re aware Sam filed all three of the Ink5oul incidents. So he chose an object in Daria’s case but then opted against it here despite there being no real reason to that we can see. You could say that now Ink5oul has been in it more, he thinks Ink5oul has some sort of supernatural power themselves which makes them a CAT1; that would still make this CAT13 as episode 11 was CAT23.
 

CAT2:

CAT2RC1157 Dolls (Watching): This is a big one in my opinion. It’s not only the first incident we’re told about, but it's both Sam’s and our first exposure to an explanation of the OIAR’s filing system. It’s also one I see ignored in most of the posts that posit the Person/Place/Object theory. That is understandable as we don’t hear the incident itself but we do hear enough of it to show that there is a flaw in the theory.
What we hear about this incident is entirely focused on the doll itself and questions about its nature. It’s a split between Dolls (Watching) and Dolls (Human Skin) with the former being chosen as the latter is only implied. Dolls themselves are objects which would make this CAT3, and if the doll is sentient a CAT1. However, this is placed in CAT2 indicating that it's actually caused by the location in some respect. In order for that to make sense you have to make 3 major assumptions. Assumption 1: despite no indication in the conversation about this incident suggesting anything outside of the doll being strange there was actually a “haunted house”. Assumption 2: despite there being sections far more descriptive of locations—i.e Architecture—Dolls is more suited to this incident. Assumption 3: despite this being Sam’s/the audience’s first exposure to this system it leaves out the real source of the incident when, narratively, this is an explanation of it. Those are some fairly major assumptions to make to justify a theory.
This also has issues with either method of assigning CAT#s. If CAT# is objective then every Dolls (Watching) is actually a location. Unlike with something like Reanimation (Partial) that doesn't make much sense as dolls themselves are objects. In the subjective method, Alice assigned this as a location but their discussion of it centred solely on an object and she didn't explain to Sam why she did it.
 
CAT2RC3338 Agglomeration (Miscellany) -/- Congregation: This might be my favourite example of issues I have with this theory. To explain it we’ll look at this from both the objective and subjective methods while taking into account outside knowledge of the show from an audience perspective.
Everyone I’ve seen posit this theory attributes CAT2 to Hilltop here.They do this solely because of TMA. There is nothing in this episode that makes Hilltop out to be anything special in any way. But because Hilltop is special in TMA the audience is primed to view this location as special. It may very well be but there is no reason to think that. In fact, I’d argue there's reason to think otherwise based on this episode, but that is a little off topic for this essay. However from an objective perspective it can’t take Hilltop into account because not every header of this sort will take place in Hilltop. They could only manifest at special locations but that seems like a stretch. If it is true, why does this unique combination of words not include a word that describes it as a location? Subjectively it could be a misfile. Celia would be the only person who knows what Hilltop is in TMA— assuming some of the theories on her are correct—but that doesn’t make Hilltop important in and of itself. It also means she ignored large parts of this incident when filing it just to focus on that element. As this case is the one Alice uses to teach Celia the system with, then this also relies on Alice knowing or not correcting Celia. In either scenario this case is full of people of definite supernatural quality, lacks a location of supernatural quality, but has 100s of objects of dubious supernatural quality. Something doesn’t make sense here if this theory is correct.
 
CAT2RBC3366 Architecture (Liminal) -/- Hunger: This one is interesting because it shows a flaw not in the theory per se but in the methodology as a whole if the theory is correct. If CAT# is what the theory says it is why is this just CAT2? It being CAT2 at all is redundant when its header describes a location but in this incident we see it’s populated by supernatural creatures. I call them Uncannybals—as should you—and they’re monsters living in the shadow realm. That seems like very important information to include. So it should be CAT12 as there are both people and a place. The OIAR methodology already has the problem that you can’t include multiple headers but CAT#s, if they worked like this, could be used to alleviate that issue. The way it’s implemented here just makes it virtually pointless to include at all.
 

CAT3:

CAT3RBC1567 Transformation (Full) -/- Dysmorphic: This was largely already covered. So simply put if Transformation (Full) -/- Dysmorphic is an object because of the tattoo, and Tattoo (Corpse) -/- Compulsion is an object because of the tattoo, but Tattoo (Influencer) -/- Cardiac isn’t an object despite being virtually identical to this case then CAT3 doesn't mean object.
The method problems are the same as above too. Now this case is the one most likely of the three to be misfiled. So you could say that Daria's case is misfiled and would actually be CAT1 if filed correctly. Tattoos aren’t objects, this case is a mistake. Then you could explain that Marked is CAT23 because corpses are objects (so 13 if he was alive). Objectively this header always being CAT3 still poses problems because we know there are Transformations that don’t require objects. Which brings us back to the problem of “why are the headers so bad at describing these things?”. If it’s subjective Sam decided that object instead of person made more sense here. Seemingly based on the fact that there is a tattoo. Later on he changed his mind about this but choosing it in the first place seems like a stretch. If he knew what these things meant in order to choose them, object seems like a very unobvious choice.
 

CAT23:

CAT23RC5246 Tattoo (Corpse) -/- Compulsion: This one is fairly clear to me. I’m going to be very generous and suggest that the corpse here is the object based on the above. The reason this one is a problem is that there wasn’t a location here. I’ve seen people say that it must be the graveyard but that’s confirmation bias IMO. It wasn’t a large feature of the episode, didn’t do anything coastal graveyards don’t do, and had no overt supernatural properties to it. I don’t personally think anyone would categorise this as CAT23 based on the incident alone but because CAT23 people will justify it to fit. That’s not inherently a problem because sometimes you have to make assumptions but given all of the above I don’t think that assumption is a reasonable one to make.
Objectively all compelling corpse tattoos are found in magical graveyards—or morgues, tombs, goth bars, and other corpse hangouts—and I think we can all agree that’s sort of wack. Subjectively Sam decided the graveyard was magic despite there being nothing to suggest that.
 

Klaus’ CAT#s:

This is a bit of a special section. I briefly mention Klaus in the intro but I didn’t mention that some of the incidents we’ve heard have been found on the Klaus sheet. The canonicity of these aren’t 100% and I would say the show takes precedent so this is supplemental rather than definitive. I think I’ve more than shown that this theory doesn’t hold up. This is more of an academic exercise.
The big thing to know here is that Kluas’ cases lack headers entirely but that some Klaus cases have notes and it’s these notes attached. It’s only one’s with those notes I’m interested in for this because of how they relate to things we’ve heard. One case is CAT3RBC1567 with the note “tinte”. CAT3RBC1567 is Daria’s case and “tinte” is German for “ink”. So this is very likely that case. There are 4 other cases with that note and they’re two CAT1s, a CAT3, and a CAT13. So even if Daria’s case is misfiled not all of those are the correct CAT# for that assumption. There are also two CAT1s and a CAT2 marked “Herr B”, which is “Mr B” in English. These aren’t tied to a Bonzo case we’ve heard yet but one of them does take place in Bland Theme Park, Somerset. That’s not definitively Bonzo but it’s a good hint at it.
Additionally there are 6 CAT2 cases that have the note “Katzen LOL” or “Cats LOL” which you’d expect to be CAT1s if there are cats involved. In a similar vein there are one CAT1 and five CAT2s marked “Kreigsvolk” which is literally “War People” but more likely “Army” or “Soldiers”. Again, you’d expect more CAT1s if CAT1 is people.
I’m not saying any of the above is the backbone of my reasoning here but these are things that are showing up in the show and they do seem to be pointing the same direction as what I’m saying. Ignoring them entirely I think the theory doesn’t hold up but with them I think it’s very clear.
 

Conclusion

I don’t have much of a wrap up here. Anyone who’s been reading my posts for a while has known that I’ve never thought this theory worked. It’s not something I ever get too deep into because I’m also obviously happy for people to have ideas I disagree with, as am I happy for them to disagree with my ideas. That’s just healthy theorising. I’d been considering writing this for a while though but was mostly held back by not wanting to come across as some sort of arbiter of what is and isn’t correct, and didn’t want to seem like I was calling anyone out specifically. However a few people now said they wanted to see this and there are enough instances of parallel thought on this theory that it’s impossible for me to really single people out now. So here we are.
Just to reiterate for people that did/do believe this theory I don’t think anyone was stupid and/or wrong for thinking it. I hope if the above has convinced you that I’m right about it that you’re not dissuaded from making and sharing future theories. I’ve have 3 or 4 terrible CAT# theories and a few R# theories too. My current ideas on DPHW and R# might be awfully wrong in the long run and that’ll be okay.
That’s me anyway, hope this was at the very least an interesting read if it didn’t manage to be a convincing one. Bonzo! Bonzo!! Bonzo!!!