As you may have noticed, those little tape recorders scattered around the map that play audio logs when you click them come in two different colors. Most of them are white, but a few are orange. I haven't been able to identify any consistent pattern to which ones are which color.
Note that I'm talking about the color of the actual tape recorder object that the player interacts with, not any other context where the colors white and orange are relevant to audio logs. Spoilers pertaining to that other context: In the pond between the town and quarry that acts as a live map of the player's progress, audio logs are represented by lilies floating on the surface. All the lilies start out as closed buds, and each lily blooms when its corresponding audio log is played. Some of these lilies are white and others are orange; however, I was under the impression that the orange lilies represented audio logs found underground whereas the white ones are for logs on the surface. If this is true, then the colors of the tape recorders can't mean the same thing, as some of the ones found underground are white and some on the surface are orange.
Any significance to the colors?

I was driving back home with my mother after getting groceries from the local Walmart. We live in an apartment complex so we normally park our car inside of the multi story parking garage provided. On this particular day I decided to go for a parking which had a car on either side.
I tried to enter the parking space forward but both cars were really close to the white line so I ended up being really close to hitting the car on the right on the way in. Personally, I thought I was in the clear but my mom thought I was going to hit the car.
This argument caused me to offer to go outside of the car and check because I was pretty certain that I was safe. I opened the door and walked around the car to the right side and along the way I saw a guy in a car watching me. I didn’t think anything of it and continue to make my way to the other side. Once I get there, I see that I would have in fact hit the other car if I went along the path I would’ve taken originally.
Before I return back to correct my mistake I notice something. The car on my right already has an injury and coincidentally, right where I would have hit it. I go back to the driving seat and proceed to properly park the car while I think about the chances of that happening.
Once we get out of the car and head to the connecting door to the apartment, I notice the man in the car has a shocked look and that he also started to take photos. That’s when I realized how suspicious that all looked. He came out of his car and told me that I can’t just hit a car and walk away. I then explain to him that I actually didn’t hit the car because the front of my car is intact. Luckily, he believes me.
TL;DR: Looking at a car to check if you were going to hit may cause people to believe you actually did.

I've noticed this case has not been written about on here before, so I'd like to bring attention to an unsolved murder from Simcoe County in Ontario, Canada.
17-year old Cindy Halliday was born and raised in Waverley, ON, a small town about 35 km away from Barrie, ON. According to her family, she often hitchhiked to Barrie or Midland when she had to travel. On Easter Monday 1992, she was visiting a friend in Barrie, ON at a halfway house. She left at about 5:30 pm and planned to hitchhike the 35 km home back to Waverley down Highway 27. She was last seen hitchhiking near Midhurst ON. Witnesses reported seeing a teen fitting Cindy's description getting into a 1979-1981 light-coloured Chrysler LeBaron or Dodge Diplomat by the Hasty Market in Midhurst between 5:30 pm and 6:30 pm. However, she never made it home. A day later, she was reported missing by her mother, Jackie. A search ensued and hundreds of missing pamphlets were handed out, but there was initially no luck.
However, 2 weeks after her disappearance, Cindy's wallet was found in a wooded area off the Old Second Line or Concession Road 2 in Vespra Township, near Horseshoe Valley Road on May 3rd by a man collecting bottles. A subsequent K9 search by the OPP (Ontario Provincial Police) in the area turned up nothing. Later, on May 16th, a man collecting mushrooms found Cindy's red, blue, and white jacket further north up the same road. Significantly, police noted that it must have been placed there after the search as it was not found before during the search. On June 16th, everyone's worst fears were confirmed. Almost 2 months after she first disappeared, partial skeletal remains were found by a man walking his dog in a reforestation area near Springwater Township where her wallet was previously found, and 2 km northwest of where her jacket had been found. They were later identified as belonging to Cindy. Unfortunately, only her skull was recovered as animals and weather had destroyed the rest of the body and any other evidence. From the state of the partial remains, it was determined that she had been stabbed to death. On June 21st, more of Cindy's clothes, a watch, a ring, and shoes were discovered near where her jacket was found.
In September 1992, OPP made a profile of the killer, stating that the perpetrator was likely a male, in his 20s or 30s who may have known Halliday. The profiler suspected that the killer would have exhibited severe physical and emotional indicators leading to changes in his personality and demeanor after the homicide.
There was some speculation that Paul Bernardo and Karla Homolka could have been involved as Kristen French's disappearance happened to occur 4 days before. However, this possible connection was eventually ruled out by investigators. No other suspects have been officially considered. Detectives believe Cindy was killed on or around the day she went missing, and that the suspect may have shown odd behaviour or appearance on the Monday or Tuesday after the 1992 Easter weekend. The OPP offered a $50,000 reward in 2006, but this did not lead to any new information. In 2006, some evidence was also re-examined using new DNA technology, but again, no luck.
As of today, 32 years have passed since Cindy first disappeared. Unfortunately, it is now a cold case, but remains part of the OPP's caseload. Cindy is remembered by family and friends as a girl who loved hockey and had dreams of becoming a social worker. Anyone with information is asked to call the OPP at 1-888-310-1122 or Crime Stoppers.
Some sources:
https://www.collingwoodtoday.ca/local-news/cindy-halliday-was-hitchhiking-home-from-barrie-when-she-vanished-in-1992-later-found-dead-3559600
https://www.blueline.ca/out-of-the-cold-file-no-3the-stabbing-of-cindy-halliday-28-years-ago/
https://www.muskokaregion.com/news/cindy-s-murder-remains-unsolved-15-years-latearticle_a53ab2b3-d758-57bb-bed6-866e95091018.html

For me, it's:
Year Negative Four

• J'onn J'onzz is accidentally teleported to Earth by Dr. Saul Erdel. He disguises himself as police detective John Jones, using his powers in secret, but never revealing his Martian identity to anyone.

Year Negative Two

• After years of exploring the world, Arthur Curry discovers Atlantis and is imprisoned by its current rulership for three years.

Year One

• Clark Kent debuts as Superman in Metropolis (he was never Superboy)
  • Other than Luthor, Gerald Shugel, Prankster, and Bizarro, Superman's first year is mostly spent intervening in ordinary crimes and crises, as not a lot of supervillains have come out of the woodwork yet.
  • By the end of the year, Clark learns of his Kryptonian heritage.
• Bruce Wayne returns to Gotham after training abroad and begins operating as the Batman.
  • Batman has his first encounters with Catwoman, Hugo Strange, the Mad Monk, and Dr. Death. Other than this, Batman is mostly fighting street and organized crime.
  • The Bat-Signal is established by the end of the year.
• Diana leaves Themyscira and begins operating as Wonder Woman.
  • Wonder Woman is mostly working to stop Aries' plot, but she also encounters Paula von Gunther, Angle Man, Dr. Poison, and The Cheetah (Priscilla Rich).
• Hal Jordan encounters Abin Sur and becomes the Green Lantern of Sector 2814.
  • Jordan first encounters Hector Hammond and Legion.
  • Sinestro begins mentoring Hal.
• Barry Allen becomes The Flash.
• Oliver Queen returns to Star City and becomes Green Arrow.

Year Two

• Arthur Curry escapes prison and makes his public debut as Aquaman.
• The wizard Shazam appoints Billy Batson to be Captain Marvel.
• Superman first encounters kryptonite, The Parasite, Metallo, Toyman, and Mister Mxyzptlk.
  • Superman and Batman first meet.
  • Superman later has his first encounters with other superheroes, teaming up with them when their paths cross.
• Batman first encounters The Joker, The Scarecrow, The Penguin, The Riddler, Poison Ivy, and Killer Croc.
  • The Holiday murders begin.
  • Batman wrestles with a venom addiction before kicking it.
  • By the end of the year, the Falcone and Maroni gangs are mostly dismantled, and Harvey Dent becomes Two-Face.
• Wonder Woman first encounters Dr. Psycho, Circe, Giganta, and The Cheetah (Barbara Minerva).
• Hal encounters the Puppeteer, Sonar, Black Hand, Evil Star, and the Invisible Destroyer.
  • Sinestro is stripped of his ring and exiled after it is revealed that he is misusing his power to rule Korugar.

Year Three

• Superman first encounters Brainiac, whom he stops from bottling Metropolis.
  • Superman first encounters General Zod and his confederates when they escape from the Phantom Zone.
  • Superman has his first encounters with the machinations of Darkseid, as Intergang begins using mysteriously advanced weaponry and emissaries of Darkseid begin to attack Project Cadmus.
    • Orion and the Forever People come to Earth to work against Darkseid.
    • Superman first encounters a Boom Tube and visits SuperTown, where he meets Lightray and other new Gods for the first time.
• Batman first encounters Mr. Freeze, Clayface, and the Mad Hatter.
  • Batman first encounters Mr. Freeze, Clayface, Deadshot, and Man-Bat.
  • Bruce Wayne adopts Dick Grayson, who starts operating as Robin.
• Roy Harper becomes Speedy.
• Guy Gardner is appointed as a back-up Green Lantern.
• Alec Holland becomes the Swamp Thing.

Year Four

• Wally West becomes Kid Flash.
• Kara Zor-El lands on Earth and becomes Supergirl.
• J'onn J'onzz unites Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Green Lantern, the Flash, and Aquaman to fend off a White Martian invasion. They temporarily operate out of a satellite Batcave in Rhode Island and form The Justice League.
  • No longer keeping his presence hidden, J'onn J'onzz starts operating publicly as "Martian Manhunter" at the encouragement of his teammates.
  • The League builds the Hall of Justice in Washington, D.C., which becomes their stable base of operations.
  • The League later encounters Starro, Kanjar-Ro, Doctor Destiny, the Royal Flush Gang, and other villains.
  • Green Arrow becomes the first League recruit and helps Bruce Wayne finance the Watchtower Satellite.
  • Zatanna discovers her magical powers and enlists various superheroes to help her find her father, reconnecting with Bruce Wayne in the process.
  • The League later recruits Black Lightning, Zatanna, Black Canary, The Atom, Hawkwoman, and Hawkman.
• Aquaman takes the throne as ruler of Atlantis.
  • Garth becomes Aqualad.
• Barbara Gordon becomes Batgirl.
• Jack Ryder becomes The Creeper and Boston Brand becomes Deadman.
• Superman first meets Darkseid face-to-face.
  • Superman encounters Mongul and War World.
  • Morgan Edge's WGBS buys out the Daily Planet.

Year Five

• Aquaman meets Mera.
• The League recruits Elongated Man, Red Tornado, Metamorpho, and Firestorm.
• Robin, Speedy, Aqualad, Wonder Girl, and Kid Flash form the Teen Titans.
• Oliver Queen loses his fortune, grows the goatee, and redesigns his costume from the Silver Age green-and-red suit to the Neal Adams suit.
• Batman first encounters Ra's al Ghul.
• Roman Sionis becomes Black Mask.
• Helena Bertinelli becomes The Huntress.

Year Six

• Hal Jordan and Oliver Queen go their road trip across the U.S., going from being mere colleagues to friends.
  • John Stewart is inducted as a Green Lantern.
• Nathaniel Adams returns and General Eilling starts Project Atom, blackmailing Adams to work as a government asset while posing as Captain Atom.

Year Seven

• Dick Grayson starts attending Hudson University, meaning that he and Batman begin to work together less frequently, though they still keep in touch and team up when Dick is on holidays.
  • Bruce Wayne moves from Wayne Manor to his downtown Penthouse.
• Raven unites Robin, Kid Flash, Wonder Girl, Cyborg, Beast Boy, and Starfire to form a new version of the Teen Titans.

Year Eight

• Dick Grayson becomes Nightwing.
• Jason Todd becomes Robin.
• Batman, Robin, and Wonder Woman visit Superman to celebrate his birthday, only to find that he has been captured by Mongul.
• Barry Allen dies saving the universe from the Anti-Monitor.
  • Wally West becomes The Flash.
• Power Girl from Earth-2 becomes stranded on Earth-0.
• Amanda Waller launches Task Force X.
• While the original Justice League is on hiatus, the U.N. forms the Justice League International.
• Green Arrow: The Longbow Hunters stuff starts happening now.
• Swamp Thing, Constantine, Etrigan the Demon, and the Phantom Stranger team up to fight the Great Darkness.

Year Nine

• Deacon Blackfire's cult takes over Gotham, but he is stopped by Batman and Robin.
• Jason Todd is killed by The Joker.
• Barbara Gordon is paralyzed by The Joker.

Year Ten

• Anarky debuts.
• Tim Drake assumes the mantle of Robin.
• Virgil Hawkins becomes Static.

After the first decade or so, time starts being more amorphous and operating on some cross between a timeline that develops and a stationary Simpsons-like timeline where time doesn't really move. Some things progress, some things don't, everything is kept vague, and characters don't notice or call attention to this. Essentially, large amounts of time are zipped into small amounts of time, and both the longer and shorter time intervals between events are "correct" depending on how much we're zooming in on the timeline. For example, Kyle Rayner had a good number of years as a solo Green Lantern and Tim Drake was Robin for a solid amount of time before Hal Jordan returned and Damian Wayne showed up, but somehow, superheroes in general have only been operating for about 10 to 15 years, max. This is really the only way you can keep Batman perpetually in his 30s or 40s without having weird consequences like each Robin only holding the title for a year before he gets a new one.
So after this, I stop having specific "years" and it becomes more like "periods of time in which certain things co-occur." So there might be considerable time intervals between events, yet those events might also paradoxically be squished into some 10-15-year timeline.
The Fall of Heroes Era

• The Death and Return of Superman happen.
  • Superboy and Steel debut.
• Bane debuts and Knightfall happens.
• Diana is replaced by Artemis as Wonder Woman.
• Shortly after Clark and Bruce return, Hal becomes the Parallax.
  • Kyle Rayner becomes Earth's Green Lantern.
• Oliver Queen dies.
  • Connor Hawke becomes Green Arrow.

The Reconstruction Era

• Clark Kent and Lois Lane get married.
• Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Green Lantern (Rayner), The Flash (West), Aquaman, and Martian Manhunter reform the Justice League.
  • Electric Superman Blue never happened, lol.
• Robin, Superboy, and Impulse form Young Justice.
• Cataclysm, Contagion, and No Man's Land happen (sorry for having so much destruction during the reconstruction era)
• Cassandra Cain becomes Batgirl.

The Millennium Era

• Obviously didn't happen around the turn of the millennium anymore because floating timeline.
• Our Worlds at War and Bruce Wayne: MurdereFugitive happen around here.
• Oliver Queen returns from the dead.

The Infinite Crisis Era

• Hal Jordan and the GLC return.
• Infinite Crisis, 52, and OYL happen.

The Final Crisis Era

• The War of Light (Sinestro Corps War through Blackest Night) stuff happens.
• The Black Glove/Leviathan Saga (Batman & Son through Batman Incorporated) stuff happens.
  • Bruce meets Damian Wayne.
• The New Krypton stuff happens.
• Katherine Kane becomes Batwoman.

There are things I'm on the fence on, such as whether the Golden Age heroes are part of this timeline. On the one hand, I like the idea of Superman being the world's very first superhero and the public never having had encountered anything fantastical until his debut. If the JSA existed before him, then his debut would be met with "hey look, I guess flying men are back" instead of "can you BELIEVE a man can fly?!" Batman's debut also seems more striking if Gotham was never patrolled by a Green Lantern (that guy probably would have single-handedly demolished Gotham's mob in the '40s instead of letting it grow to the size it would later become).
On the other hand, I wouldn't want to jettison the cool relationships that exist between the Golden Age and later characters, like Kyle Rayner knowing Jade. I think I lean toward "keep them on Earth-2, but allow them to have regular meetings and friendships with the Earth-0 guys." But if the walls between universes are that porous, that just raises the question of why Power Girl got stuck on Earth-0 when the rest of the Earth-2 people can go home whenever they want.

Monokuma MOVESET
Heavyweight with 2 jumps and a crawl
GIMMICK
Every time Monokuma gets attacked with a non-projectile attack Monokuma has a 1/61 chance to blow up instantly killing him but does tons of damage and knockback to any opponents nearby.
Basic Attacks
Jab: 1000 Blows (Jab: Mono Hits a baseball Rapid Jab: Baseball Gun used on leon)
Good damage and can flinch but no knockback and can be reflected
(Leon’s punishment Trigger Happy Havoc)
Dash: Beast Monokuma (Mono Charges forward as a dangerous beast monokuma unit)
Great Damage but decent end lag
(Beast Monokuma Units UDG)
Side Tilt: Skeleton Key (Mono Charges Key and turns it)
Two hit move. The stage does minimal damage but insures opponents
(Skeleton key used by Kyoko in Trigger Happy Havoc)
Up tilt: Mega Scepter (Points Scepter Above him as wind comes out of it’s top)
Weak Damage But Does Amazing Upwards KnockBack
(Mega Monokuma Bomb)
Down Tilt: Punishment Slam (Monokuma Slams Hammer on ground)
small flinching damage with end lag but has a 25% chance to bury and spikes if it hits someone off stage
(What happens every punishment time)
Side Smash: Take Off (A Rocket appears in front of Monokuma that flies up before crashing down)
Is a command grab and Does Great Damage but no real knockback and leaves mono from behind
(First Punishment we have seen)
Up Smash: Junkuma (Monokuma Jumps Up)
Does Great Knockback but leaves him vulnerable
(Junk Monokuma Leaping attack UDG)
Down Smash: Playtime (Monokuma Gets a random monokub and spins them around)
Does Great Damage And hits on both sides
(Monokubs and the icon spinning thing parents do with kids)
Aerials
Neutral Air: Death By Hurricane (Monokuma Spins around)
Mid damage but spikes
(When Monokuma mentions all executions and talks about death by hurricane)
F Air: Aura Aura (Monokuma Punches super fast in front of himself)
Multiple flinching hits of damage before ending with a spike
(An attack used on Monomi)
B Air: Gas Chamber (Monokuma slides backwards as foam come out his mouth)
No real knockback but has a chance to poison
(When Monokuma mentions all executions and talks about death by gas chamber)
Up Air: Sakura Defense (Monokuma Kicks Up)
Does Great Damage and Spikes
(Move Monokuma used on sakura in trigger happy havoc)
Down Air: Beasts Pounce (Monokuma turns into a beast Monokuma and pounces down to the ground)
Acts like the last half of incineror’s up special.
(Death animation when you die from beast Monokuma in UDG)
Grabs
Grab: Grabs opponent with Chain used before exections
Pummel: Drags Opponent on ground
F Throw: Grabs Opponent by the throat and puts a bomb on their chest before throwing them forward
(When Mondo throws Monokuma)
B Throw: Drags the opponent backwards before running forward
(Animation before every punishment)
Up Throw: Sirens Appear above monokuma before a bunch of units appear and dogpile the opponent
(Siren Monokuma Units and ending to almost every boss battle in UDG)
Down Throw: Monokuma pilots an excavator and crushes opponent with it (can bury)
(Alter Egos punishment)
Specials + Gimmicks
A Lot of things to mention with the special. First You might have guessed but I watch brawlfan1 including his mono moveset so a lot of these moves are gonna be similar. Speaking of which just like brawl fan suggested these are going to be randomized but fill the same general role. Except down special which will kinda work as a miscellaneous collection
Neutral Special: Despair Bullet
Number 1: Mono Spits out A Pile Of Trash (can poison and does mid damage reference to ball monokumas) 2: Monokuma Holds his staff as a monokuma bomb comes out (Acts like a homing projectile for 3 seconds before exploding. To reference its role in the boss fight if the foe hits it with a strong enough attack it will target the next closest foe which could be monokuma. From there it acts the same but can’t be hit back more then twice) 3: Monokuma Throws a Grenade (acts the same as snakes with the difference it does more damage to monokuma if hes hit by his bombs then snake gets if hes hit by his) References the bomber Monokuma units) 4: Mono Throws a crystal ball (does strong damage but no knockback. References the first kill by leon) 5: Mono Shoots out robot wasps out of a gun (can be held down to shoot out more wasps. Does small flinching damage and has a 1/10 chance to poison. References wild west insecticide) 6: Mono Throws Out Salt (acts like ice climbers down b references the cultural mixing pot)
Side Special: Despair Ride
Number 1: Monokuma Rides A Bike (acts like wario's side b with the added benefit that if it hits an opponent there is a 50% chance they drop butter which acts like an average consumable. And you can still use the side special if you leave the bike. Referencing mondos punishment) Number 2: Mono Rides a giant fist (Does Good damage but mid damage reference to bye bye ouchies) Number 3: Mono Drives A Fire Truck (Standard Gravity affected charge special lasts a second but when i say gravity affected i mean charges toward the ground and is uncancelable in the air so you better hope you were high up when you use this. Can also burn opponents. Reference to celeste ludenberg’s punishment) Number 4: Mono Rides A Robot Bison (Works like Pit's Side B with out the final Uppercut. Reference to Gundhan’s punishment) Number 5: Mono Rides Peko as she slashes forward (Acts like a weaker version of Mythra’s side b references one woman army) Number 6: Mono Rides A pac man robot (Works like pac man's side b. Reference to please insert coin)
Up Special: Despair Elevation
Number 1: A Rope appears tied over monos neck raising him up before a spiked wall flies into him (A decent amount of elevation but no control. Also the raising of monokuma doesn’t do damage, only the spiked wall does. A reference to Kaede’s punishment) Number 2: Monokuma Grows wings and flies upwards (works like pit’s up special) Number 3: Mono gets a jetpack and flies up (works like robs up b) Number 4: Mono Flings a vine over head (Basic tether recovery with one major difference. If you use the move in the air without grabbing anything the vine will break and cause monokuma to fall where he acts as a projectile. A reference to the strand of agony) Number 5: Monokuma will blow up as another Monokuma comes out riding a giant bug as it spins holding out scythes (acts like wario's up special with less height but way more damage. References wild west insecticide) Number 6: Monokuma Turns into a rocket and slightly goes up before he drills below himself (acts like ganon's wizard foot in the air. If right next to the ledge then it can grab on but this is mainly meant to troll. Much like the reference of the second ignition)
Down Special: Random Despair
Number 1: Monokuma wears a riot shield for 10 seconds which blocks all attacks from the front reference to guard monokuma units. Number 2: Monokuma Gets Electrocuted acting like pikachus thunder reference to the first thing monokuma mentions when he talks about possible executions. Number 3: Monokuma flails his arms and if any one attacks him they get attacked by the spears of Gungnir basic counter referencing the fate of Mukuro. Number 4: Landmine acts like snakes and a reference for mono’s tenacity for explosions. Number 5: Monokuma Drives a tank acting like foxes old final smash with the land master though 3 times less likely to happen as the other options reference to please insert coin. Number 6: Monokuma Raises into the air before turning into a crane holding a random tetris block where you can move left and right for 1 second before the crane drops the block doing tons of damage if it hits a foe before the crane raises into the air where monokuma takes its place reference to please insert coin. Number 7: Monokuma blows up instantly killing him but does tons of damage and knockback to any opponents nearby.
Final Smash: Ultimate Despair
There are 2 ways i see this final smash so i’ll say the one i perfer then i’ll say the one thats actually likely. The move starts with a chain either way and if any one gets hit by the chain they’ll be dragged off stage before the cinematic starts. The first option has it personallized to the characters. Not like what brawlfan1 suggested but rather each character in a category. The space characters get sent into space with the rocket before exploding, The villains get killed by the hero, vice versa for the protagonists, the princesses get killed by a dummy version of the hero and so on. The second option is junkos punishment having all of the punishments from the first game happen before finishing with the final blow of the white board. Either way it's a guaranteed stock loss.
Cosmetics
Costumes
Base Of Black And White
Pink and white (monokub and Monomi)
Black and black (Kurokuma)
White and White (Monomi true form)
White and white with red details (Leons punishment)
Orange with black stripes (Mondos punishment)
Red with orange details (Celestes punishment)
Black with brown details (Detention)
Stage intro
A giant pedestal appears where Monokuma jumps from behind it
Taunts
Monokuma guzzling some honey
Monokuma Standing over a pile of money
Monokuma Swinging around a glass of wine
Visual gimmick when Monokuma wins it shows the character who lost portrait with a giant x over it instead of them clapping
Also if Monokuma loses it shows him wearing glasses
Victory Animations
Nothing appears on screen before a stomp happens where the camera pans up to see a giant Monokuma wearing a crown (Big Bang Monokuma)
Monokuma Grabs the camera before swallowing it causing static to appear (What you get when you win)
Junko appears laughing maniacally

About one cm in length. Has what looks like 5 black hairs or teeth around its "mouth" is white and worm like. Maybe a larva? It kinda just sits floating in the water.

Monokuma MOVESET
Heavyweight with 2 jumps and a crawl
GIMMICK
Every time Monokuma gets attacked with a non-projectile attack Monokuma has a 1/61 chance to blow up instantly killing him but does tons of damage and knockback to any opponents nearby.
Basic Attacks
Jab: 1000 Blows (Jab: Mono Hits a baseball Rapid Jab: Baseball Gun used on leon)
Good damage and can flinch but no knockback and can be reflected
(Leon’s punishment Trigger Happy Havoc)
Dash: Beast Monokuma (Mono Charges forward as a dangerous beast monokuma unit)
Great Damage but decent end lag
(Beast Monokuma Units UDG)
Side Tilt: Skeleton Key (Mono Charges Key and turns it)
Two hit move. The stage does minimal damage but insures opponents
(Skeleton key used by Kyoko in Trigger Happy Havoc)
Up tilt: Mega Scepter (Points Scepter Above him as wind comes out of it’s top)
Weak Damage But Does Amazing Upwards KnockBack
(Mega Monokuma Bomb)
Down Tilt: Punishment Slam (Monokuma Slams Hammer on ground)
small flinching damage with end lag but has a 25% chance to bury and spikes if it hits someone off stage
(What happens every punishment time)
Side Smash: Take Off (A Rocket appears in front of Monokuma that flies up before crashing down)
Is a command grab and Does Great Damage but no real knockback and leaves mono from behind
(First Punishment we have seen)
Up Smash: Junkuma (Monokuma Jumps Up)
Does Great Knockback but leaves him vulnerable
(Junk Monokuma Leaping attack UDG)
Down Smash: Playtime (Monokuma Gets a random monokub and spins them around)
Does Great Damage And hits on both sides
(Monokubs and the icon spinning thing parents do with kids)
Aerials
Neutral Air: Death By Hurricane (Monokuma Spins around)
Mid damage but spikes
(When Monokuma mentions all executions and talks about death by hurricane)
F Air: Aura Aura (Monokuma Punches super fast in front of himself)
Multiple flinching hits of damage before ending with a spike
(An attack used on Monomi)
B Air: Gas Chamber (Monokuma slides backwards as foam come out his mouth)
No real knockback but has a chance to poison
(When Monokuma mentions all executions and talks about death by gas chamber)
Up Air: Sakura Defense (Monokuma Kicks Up)
Does Great Damage and Spikes
(Move Monokuma used on sakura in trigger happy havoc)
Down Air: Beasts Pounce (Monokuma turns into a beast Monokuma and pounces down to the ground)
Acts like the last half of incineror’s up special.
(Death animation when you die from beast Monokuma in UDG)
Grabs
Grab: Grabs opponent with Chain used before exections
Pummel: Drags Opponent on ground
F Throw: Grabs Opponent by the throat and puts a bomb on their chest before throwing them forward
(When Mondo throws Monokuma)
B Throw: Drags the opponent backwards before running forward
(Animation before every punishment)
Up Throw: Sirens Appear above monokuma before a bunch of units appear and dogpile the opponent
(Siren Monokuma Units and ending to almost every boss battle in UDG)
Down Throw: Monokuma pilots an excavator and crushes opponent with it (can bury)
(Alter Egos punishment)
Specials + Gimmicks
A Lot of things to mention with the special. First You might have guessed but I watch brawlfan1 including his mono moveset so a lot of these moves are gonna be similar. Speaking of which just like brawl fan suggested these are going to be randomized but fill the same general role. Except down special which will kinda work as a miscellaneous collection
Neutral Special: Despair Bullet
Number 1: Mono Spits out A Pile Of Trash (can poison and does mid damage reference to ball monokumas) 2: Monokuma Holds his staff as a monokuma bomb comes out (Acts like a homing projectile for 3 seconds before exploding. To reference its role in the boss fight if the foe hits it with a strong enough attack it will target the next closest foe which could be monokuma. From there it acts the same but can’t be hit back more then twice) 3: Monokuma Throws a Grenade (acts the same as snakes with the difference it does more damage to monokuma if hes hit by his bombs then snake gets if hes hit by his) References the bomber Monokuma units) 4: Mono Throws a crystal ball (does strong damage but no knockback. References the first kill by leon) 5: Mono Shoots out robot wasps out of a gun (can be held down to shoot out more wasps. Does small flinching damage and has a 1/10 chance to poison. References wild west insecticide) 6: Mono Throws Out Salt (acts like ice climbers down b references the cultural mixing pot)
Side Special: Despair Ride
Number 1: Monokuma Rides A Bike (acts like wario's side b with the added benefit that if it hits an opponent there is a 50% chance they drop butter which acts like an average consumable. And you can still use the side special if you leave the bike. Referencing mondos punishment) Number 2: Mono Rides a giant fist (Does Good damage but mid damage reference to bye bye ouchies) Number 3: Mono Drives A Fire Truck (Standard Gravity affected charge special lasts a second but when i say gravity affected i mean charges toward the ground and is uncancelable in the air so you better hope you were high up when you use this. Can also burn opponents. Reference to celeste ludenberg’s punishment) Number 4: Mono Rides A Robot Bison (Works like Pit's Side B with out the final Uppercut. Reference to Gundhan’s punishment) Number 5: Mono Rides Peko as she slashes forward (Acts like a weaker version of Mythra’s side b references one woman army) Number 6: Mono Rides A pac man robot (Works like pac man's side b. Reference to please insert coin)
Up Special: Despair Elevation
Number 1: A Rope appears tied over monos neck raising him up before a spiked wall flies into him (A decent amount of elevation but no control. Also the raising of monokuma doesn’t do damage, only the spiked wall does. A reference to Kaede’s punishment) Number 2: Monokuma Grows wings and flies upwards (works like pit’s up special) Number 3: Mono gets a jetpack and flies up (works like robs up b) Number 4: Mono Flings a vine over head (Basic tether recovery with one major difference. If you use the move in the air without grabbing anything the vine will break and cause monokuma to fall where he acts as a projectile. A reference to the strand of agony) Number 5: Monokuma will blow up as another Monokuma comes out riding a giant bug as it spins holding out scythes (acts like wario's up special with less height but way more damage. References wild west insecticide) Number 6: Monokuma Turns into a rocket and slightly goes up before he drills below himself (acts like ganon's wizard foot in the air. If right next to the ledge then it can grab on but this is mainly meant to troll. Much like the reference of the second ignition)
Down Special: Random Despair
Number 1: Monokuma wears a riot shield for 10 seconds which blocks all attacks from the front reference to guard monokuma units. Number 2: Monokuma Gets Electrocuted acting like pikachus thunder reference to the first thing monokuma mentions when he talks about possible executions. Number 3: Monokuma flails his arms and if any one attacks him they get attacked by the spears of Gungnir basic counter referencing the fate of Mukuro. Number 4: Landmine acts like snakes and a reference for mono’s tenacity for explosions. Number 5: Monokuma Drives a tank acting like foxes old final smash with the land master though 3 times less likely to happen as the other options reference to please insert coin. Number 6: Monokuma Raises into the air before turning into a crane holding a random tetris block where you can move left and right for 1 second before the crane drops the block doing tons of damage if it hits a foe before the crane raises into the air where monokuma takes its place reference to please insert coin. Number 7: Monokuma blows up instantly killing him but does tons of damage and knockback to any opponents nearby.
Final Smash: Ultimate Despair
There are 2 ways i see this final smash so i’ll say the one i perfer then i’ll say the one thats actually likely. The move starts with a chain either way and if any one gets hit by the chain they’ll be dragged off stage before the cinematic starts. The first option has it personallized to the characters. Not like what brawlfan1 suggested but rather each character in a category. The space characters get sent into space with the rocket before exploding, The villains get killed by the hero, vice versa for the protagonists, the princesses get killed by a dummy version of the hero and so on. The second option is junkos punishment having all of the punishments from the first game happen before finishing with the final blow of the white board. Either way it's a guaranteed stock loss.
Cosmetics
Costumes
Base Of Black And White
Pink and white (monokub and Monomi)
Black and black (Kurokuma)
White and White (Monomi true form)
White and white with red details (Leons punishment)
Orange with black stripes (Mondos punishment)
Red with orange details (Celestes punishment)
Black with brown details (Detention)
Stage intro
A giant pedestal appears where Monokuma jumps from behind it
Taunts
Monokuma guzzling some honey
Monokuma Standing over a pile of money
Monokuma Swinging around a glass of wine
Visual gimmick when Monokuma wins it shows the character who lost portrait with a giant x over it instead of them clapping
Also if Monokuma loses it shows him wearing glasses
Victory Animations
Nothing appears on screen before a stomp happens where the camera pans up to see a giant Monokuma wearing a crown (Big Bang Monokuma)
Monokuma Grabs the camera before swallowing it causing static to appear (What you get when you win)
Junko appears laughing maniacally

what is your relationship to shame and guilt?
Used to feel shame for not being able to provide a good experience to people around me. I used to believe that relationships friends or lovers = entertaining each other basically some sort of synergistic experience towards a blissful state. Otherwise I’d rather be by myself and do whatever gives me dopamine/adrenaline on my own typically extreme sports. This isn’t the case anymore. I do feel a degree of shame when I’m with others in public and they have an embarrassing socially awkward demeanor. I never feel much shame about myself and if I feel that way I’ll pause and think of why this is happening and just fix it and move on. No deep shame tbh.
Guilt is very rare. Hurting or disappointing people I love/loved bc of my impulsive immature behaviors. Typically bc I started feeling trapped in a situation where I was making compromises that created resentment. As I want to avoid open confrontation I’d rather try to fix things by myself and then in case of complete failure I’d go cold and annoyed. Kind of a rapid switch in energy leaving the other person confused and hurt. So that’s where my guilt has been “how the fuck did we get to that point”
how about self image?
Some days I’m ego tripping thinking I like to stand out everywhere I go appearing cooler than cool like Hey folks this is me on my little cloud 9 wassup. Most of the time I’m pretty neutral tbh I try to avoid walking around with a resting bitchboy face. I’m already tall and large hair combed back thick beard I found there’s a fine line for me between being intimidating or perceived as arrogant when I’m out here just enjoying my own skin. For the most part I used to be like not my fucking problem if people project whatever and think weird stuff about me but now I’m like fine let’s smile stay cool and relaxed it’s better overall to be liked by surface friends rather than barking around bc it’s a cold world, dog eat dog and all that shit I used to think.
what is your pride like?
Proud of being independent asf - needing nobody - being excellent at preserving my fucks - being naturally stoic. I realize that my level of pride isn’t always healthy. See question above I’m toning it down although I recognize I’m triggered into overly prideful responses sometimes, for the most part when getting questioned as if I were this macho MFer who’s pure bravado or some sort of coverup or tactics I’m using. Nah it was just my nature- that I’m working on to be more tolerant and friendly.
do you have a need to be needed by others? why is this? please explain.
Very rare. Yes, by my partner and that’s been pretty much it. I’m 35 with no kids never even had pets.. I’m reluctant to have responsibilities in general. I’ve been like “what you need me for? Help yourself like I help myself” obviously can’t tell that to a kid or a dog lmao so I thought that this kinda life isn’t for me. Growing up more I’m thinking this isn’t all so black or white.
is it important to achieve and be competent? please explain how this works? why? is hard work and reliability important and why?
I think what’s important is to be consistent so if someone dgaf about achieving or competence it’s all good if they’re cool with their choice conversely if someone is super serious about all that then fine to each their own. For me competence is whatever, it depends on what I prioritize. I like being competent if it serves my end goal which is complete independence from all kinda of societal nonsense. I don’t like working I’m all about trying to outsmart the matrix getting passive $ so I can F off and do whatever I want whenever I want, which has been my life for the past year traveling around enjoying people. Is it an achievement to be free like that, to me absolutely. To my status obsessed parents, not so much. I know my ex couldn’t deal with the lack of predictability. I don’t blame them all it’s how I roll.
do you enjoy awards and recognition of any sort? why? please describe this.
Absolutely not giving a damn about any of this. Not sure why. If someone tells me something nice, compliment recognition whatever I assume they’re sincere and have no deeper thoughts like envy or anything like that. Not overthinking it just thanking them and saying something nice in return but truly I’m my only critic and I’m giving (or not) my own awards.
do you fear abandonment or separation why is that? describe this?
nope. Why: I’ve been left to my own devices as a 12yo when my parents divorced and I had to figure everything out by myself and it turned out ok. As an adult I’ve been through separations and been fine. Fears have never been a big part of my life, it’s been a lot of “Screw it let’s go” then some sort of guilt as per above but rare. I genuinely think that if I had more fears or anxieties or feelings of that sort I’d be more cautious but it’s like my brain doesn’t go there.

Good Evening R4R people!
Not really sure if I will find anyone on here for the future, but I am open to just chatting for a bit and having some interesting conversations! Maybe get around to hopping on discord and playing some games in the future too!
I'll start off with the about me: White, 6'3", chubbiefat but I work out, go on walks two times a day and healthy everyday now, dirty blonde hair that gets curly as it grows out, blue eyes, glasses cause I'm blind as a bat, college educated, just trying to make my way in life.
I said nerdy because I do play video games (PC only - mainly path of exile, league of legends, and can work on buying other games in the future), and used to play table top games such as card games which I do eventually want to try to get back into. It might turn into just playing poker, but I had a lot of fun with card games and met a lot of my good friends through that.
About you: 18-45, similar interests or nerdy in some way (games, books, movies, etc), and just wants to enjoy the time together!
Hopefully I didn't scare you off, but send me a chat and tell me about yourself, what you are looking for, and we can always just have a nice conversation!

Does anyone have that pic of tek Lintowe where the image is deep fried and he has a white shirt on and is squinting at the camera with his mouth open. Thanks in advance

Pics
Timestamp

Fast worldwide shipping below $30, FCFS

Prices are in USD, equivalent in Euro is much preferred.

Item	Description	Price
OG Doubleshots	Pristine, no shine, almost zero yellowing, there are near zero signs of age. No key missing, Us-Ansi layout.	$339 SOLD
HHKB pro bt	HHKB bluetooth from 2018. Lubed and silenced, modded with mx compatible sliders, the case has been trimmed to fit normal cherry keycaps. The keycaps are high quality SAV dyesubs, some of them have been scratched, see pics.	$260 with keycaps, $220 without. (paid $190 for the board, $60 in customs, $70 to mod it and $60 in keycaps)
Reuters Cherry G80-3234HQU	Nice condition, built with Vintage Clears (lubed with 3203, filmed and springswapped) that were never desoldered from the PCB. The board is modded to usb-c through an internal active converter. US-ANSI layout.	$200
Neo65	Almost never used. E-white with copper weight. Trimode-hotswap PCB, build with OG JNLs on CF full. Includes a set of Geekark BoW thick dyesubs bought from korea long ago.	$180
Cablemod cable #1 (OG Lemo)	Old Lemo cable, they don't make these anymore. Black on Black dual sleeve, usb-a to usb-c, silver lemo connector. Straight.	$100
Cablemod cable #2	Straight, white with rosegold/copper connectors and aviator.	$45
Cablemod cable #3	Straight, copper modmetal cable.	$45
Taiwan Yellow Shafts ~100x	Rare Cherry linear clone from 1989, ultrasonicly cleaned. 100% Mx-compatible.	$100 SOLD
Geon Cloud stem'd Hyperglides 90x	Diamond polished Hyperglides with a long stem, they sound really poppy and loud. Lubed, filmed and springswapped.	$120
OG Cherry Clip-ins	I have something around 50 sets of these. They all have been ultrasoncly cleaned. From 2000-2008.	$8.50 each set of 5 (TKL), $75 each 10 TKL sets.

I usually have a gummy before bed to wind me down and relax before sleep. The other night, no idea why, I took 2. I’ve done that in the past and I had racing thoughts and saw colors and geometric patterns while my eyes were closed, but that was the extent of it. I didn’t like the way it felt, so I chose not to overdo it again.
This time around was unlike anything I’ve ever felt in my life. I had the usual “high” silly/random thoughts. Then it became spiritual. Like immensely powerful I can’t even describe the feeling.
I had my thumb pressed down on the voice memo record button for 40 minutes (to my ex boyfriend) while I word-vomited everything that was happening.
Keep in mind, we dated for 5 tumultuous years. Our anniversary was 2-22 and we saw the number 22 everywhere, every single day. During and after our up and down relationship.
I swear I felt the Holy Spirit in me, making the words come out of my mouth. (I grew up Christian but I am not a religious person) The things said weren’t things I was thinking, they just came out. Like I wasn’t in control. I was laying in bed, physically exhausted from involuntary body movements and tensing up, having trouble controlling my breath and crying. It felt like a possession but not in a demonic way at all. I felt an overwhelming sense of love and acceptance understanding and I kept repeating over and over “it’s real it’s all real”.
There was a moment where I verbalized from my conscious mind that I needed it out of my body because I couldn’t take it anymore. And suddenly, a wave came over me and forced out the words (while still recording to my ex) “you’re…you’re the one”. The way it was spoken out of my mouth was not in my control and it was not spoken in a normal flowing manner. I whole heartedly believe that. It was pushed out of me and the feeling rushed through my body so powerfully right after I said it, that it was so overwhelming I sobbed.
Then as I was coming down from it and finally relaxing, I received a message from my son’s dog, Teddy. And I cried as I spoke those words too. It was the wildest thing that’s ever happened to me.
I have been harping on this for days. I’m having a very hard time digesting it.
If I could attach a blip of the voice memo I would so you could hear the intensity of it.

Thanks to Patron Member u/Entharo_entho - Here is the wiped out Tweet retrieved
Context - Wiped out from Internet
In March, I got a chance to work with filmmaker Sanjay Leela Bhansali right after he made Gangubai Kathiawadi, and Alia Bhatt, playing the titular character in the film, retweeted me.
The headline (in my head) was going to be, ‘The Boy From Kamathipura Goes To Bhansali Mandi.’
Then reality struck in April.
One of my closest friends Sweta called me from the Shivapuri National Park near Kathmandu and put me on speaker. Two other friends Mona and Ayush were listening to the WhatsApp call.
‘How’s it going with Bhansu?’ Sweta asked.
‘We are not working together anymore,’ I said.
‘Whaaaaaaaat?’ the three people shrieked, creating a wavy disturbance in audio frequency.
‘Whyyyyy?’ they cried, collectively anguished.
‘He said he is not feeling the vibes.’
‘What?’
‘Vibes,’ I said aloud, causing a seismic tremor in the audio frequency.
‘What vibes?’ Sweta jibed, ‘Maybe he can’t feel the vibrator.’
Laughter upped the vibes.
First, a little context on how I got that far. Check this, this, this & this.
So my tweets were going viral in February-March.
In the second week of March, a woman DM’d me saying she loves the tweets. I said thank you. She said she works at Bhansali Productions.
Whoopsie Daisy!
I asked if I could be a part of the production. She checked with SLB and team. He said he wants to meet now.
NOW!
How?
I was in Calcutta.
I called an actor friend in Bombay and told him about it.
“They will book your tickets and put you up in 5-star,” he said, “Like Hollywood.”
“This is Bhansaliwood,” I said, “Yahan dhanda hamesha manda hai.”
I flew (on my own expense) and met him.
I was ‘prepared’ by his team for the meeting with His High and Mightiness.
I was told:

Arre, then what do I say?
I sashayed in a brown kurta and white linen trousers. Please see Madhuri Dixit-Nene’s brown ghagra for aesthetic reference I used from my very limited wardrobe of the only kurta I had at the time. By the way, the chorus sings ‘Jhanak Jhanak Payal Baaje,’ aesthetically referencing you know what, right?
He was lunching with his minions (strictly calling them minions from his pov) when I arrived in his pristine white dining hall in a building called Magnum Opus. Where else should he reside, no? Both his house, and his office (where I was ‘prepared’ earlier) were tastefully done in creamy white.
It was, as I said to my friend later, like walking into a cumulus cloud, or like sitting on his favourite singer Lata Mangeshkar’s lap. Calm, serene and quite surreal. I was inside his snow globe. Violins from a Bach concerto (in my head) were replaced with say Madan Mohan’s doleful rendition of ‘Mai ri main ka se kahoon peedh apne jiya ki.’ (Side effect of writing this on Mother’s Day.)
I look for books when I enter a house for signs of intelligent life. There were lots of lamps and candelabras but where were the stacks of books they were perched on? The aesthetic was high on film set disposable kitsch. I stared into a cumulative void.
The minions were intensely debating Darjeeling momos. What’s that? I spent my childhood there. Never heard of this GI tag!
SLB relished his meal and said, “I want puranpoli today.”
Puranpoli appeared not out of thin air, but a house-help flipping wishes instantly on a griddle on the fifth floor. We were on the first floor. Although the puranpoli is shaped like a flying saucer, it doesn’t fly, perhaps burdened by the weight of excess ghee and crowd-pleasing expectation. It does, however, reach SLB’s plate at the speed of light.
‘Give him some,’ he asked a minion to serve me while I waited on the sofa.
‘I’ve had lunch, thank you,’ I said, trying to behave. The plate arrived. I took a mousy bite to exhibit my failing attempt to transform into a champion minion.
When he came to chat, he noticed the unfinished food and gently reminded me how there were days he went hungry. I should have rolled my eyes for my own lean days.
‘One should not waste food,’ he said.
‘I don’t,’ I said, ‘I was going to parcel it home in a doggy bag.’
Hearing the word doggy, his well-behaved dog came over to inspect me.
He observed me. I petted her perfunctorily. Am a cat person. Stereotypical writer stuff — allergic to undesired petting and attention.
‘So, what have you done?’ he asked, sitting on a sort of empire-style bergere chair. Full marks for faux-ornate.
‘A novel, some writing for a series,’ I said nervously, dismissively.
‘Anything I might have seen?’ he asked.
‘No, not worthwhile.’
‘Are you interested in direction also?’
‘No, am not delusional.’
A moment passed. I might have displayed an errant repartee.
‘I mean, I can only write, or am trying to,’ I said. L’esprit de l’escalier.
He gave me a spiel on writing, how screenplay is an art not many understand, etc, et cetera.
I nodded to make his voice disappear.
‘What are you writing now?’
I showed him the cover of my new book, The Last Courtesan, featuring my mother, on my phone.
‘Oh, this is so fascinating,’ he said.
He spoke rapturously about Calcutta’s great food and colonial architecture when I mentioned growing up in Bowbazar kothas. If you watch any of his interviews now on YouTube you will realise he only speaks in raptures. He’s always explaining things like an impassioned conductor at a dime-store opera. It can exhaust the boorish audience immediately. He spoke about living in the Kamathipura area as a child when I said I had lived there. The mythmaker was interested in exoticising his own legend as an ‘outsider’.
‘But how will you work here if your mother is in Calcutta?’ he said, ‘I am a maa-ka-bhakt.’
Everything is about him or his mother. I have reached that stage too, though only by circumstances unavoidable.
‘Actually it was my mother who asked me to come here. I told her it would only work out if you understand that I will have to vacillate between the two cities initially. Jaise Sanjay ki Leela hai, waise meri Rekha.’
Corny dialogue, but worked. No one calls him by his first name, except perhaps his own mother. He is sir for everyone.
‘If I am speaking to you for so long means I like you,’ he said. ‘Otherwise, I would have asked you to leave long ago.’
Barely five minutes into the conversation, he asked me to return to his office and inform his team that I was going to be a part of his writer’s room.
I went back to his office and read a script. This is the part I cannot mention. His legal team sits in the adjacent room.
I flew to Calcutta and was to return after a week. I had to make arrangements for my mother’s tri-weekly dialysis sessions at a nearby hospital, figure out a tiffin-delivery service for her, find a house help (she sent four nurses scurrying in the past), all of which is a bit of a task in this retrograde city.
Remember the woman who had DM’d me about my tweets? She messaged. She had met SLB after my meeting. He said this about me: ‘What a wonderful find. That boy has so much potential and is talented. Most importantly, he is sensitive.’
I told her I’d get this engraved on my tombstone.
Like how he wants to take Alia Bhatt’s golchakkar in Dholida to his grave.
“It’s a shot that I will take to my grave. If there’s any shot that I want to be played when I breathe my last, it would be Alia doing that shot. It is the best thing I have seen an actor do in a very long, long time.”
I was only emulating the high priest of hyperbole in my tombstone comment. Perhaps I was regressing into a minion.
I had only managed a few tasks for mother when I was back in Bombay. It worried me that the old, frail woman with shaky limbs and slurred speech was trying to be brave to send me to work. I hadn’t worked since the pandemic; she was in and out of hospitals so frequently that I had surrendered the thought of getting another job ever again. Taking care of her was my full-time job.
The first day in his office was to chill in my new, aesthetically pleasing kurta I had shopped for in Gariahat. There was a security camera in every corner that was apparently accessible on his phone. My skin tingled with this information. Chilled. He was at home. Probably watching. That’s a great way to create a myth.
The next day, there were more minions on the lunch table in his first floor apartment. The magically appearing steamy and fragrant sheera was delicious. A minion deemed it the best sheera in the city. I nodded to make that statement evaporate.
A courier boy interrupted for a document signature. SLB flared at a spelling mistake in the document papers.
‘Go wash your face and come back,’ he yelled at the young man.
The minions at the table laughed nervously. I so wished I was wearing a mask to cover my surprise emoji face.
The minions on the table were writers and assistant directors.
‘Dastavez,’ SLB said, ‘would that be correct to use?’
‘Kaaghzaat,’ the minion replied.
‘Kaaghzaat is paper, dastavez is document,’ said the second minion.
‘You always mislead me,’ SLB sternly reprimanded the first minion. ‘Don’t ever do that again.’
Only that minion tried to laugh, offering an apology. He shut the minion down.
My mask, my mask emoji face.
A third minion was sulking in a corner before I arrived for the writing session. This minion had reportedly offered a script suggestion, which he disliked and barked down. I liked this minion the most. Relatable.
A faint noise of a person running or perhaps just a rumbling sound from somewhere outside interrupted the room. He looked up at the ceiling and said, ‘No one lives there. Am certain it is a ghost. I hear running sounds all the time. I have heard sounds of furniture being dragged.’
I wondered if he actually believed in half the things he uttered, or was he just saying it to create enigma about himself. Mythical thoughts certainly kept him preoccupied.
Reality bored him. SLB had nothing good to say about the ‘current plague’ of South Indian films upsetting the Bollywood cartel. He compared them to a circus. He wasn’t kind to the actors he had worked with in his last film. He cracked lame jokes about everyone and everything. The minions laughed and kept him busy. I chuckled a few times to blend in. The mythmaker revelled in his prophesies about the impending doom of charlatans with no aesthetics: just crass, commercial peddlers pimping art. It was all said to amuse and bemuse while he fussed over the yellow shade of fabric from several swatches.
When he left for his music session, the minions bitched him out, and how! All the horror stories I had heard over the years about his moods, behaviour, language and violent temper were true. How else will he create myth about himself as a maestro? The Glomar response. Let the plebs indulge in hearsay. I will neither confirm nor deny. The minions sang effigy songs in happy tunes, if I may stretch this part a bit like his penchant for high camp.
That night, when I went to my actor friend’s house, where I was temporarily staying, I said to him, ‘I don’t think I will last a week there.’
I was rattled by how he spoke to the courier boy and the minions, with no filter. Well, at least it was clear he had no tact, endearing as that might be of a ‘genius’ if one compromises with his erratic behaviour. The CEO of his company does it beautifully and advises to develop a ‘thick hide’ around him. Cows, essentially.
Verve
The words genius, great, master, maverick, were so loosely bandied by his office staff even in his absence that I was tempted to add auteur, if they could spell or pronounce it. They worked in perpetual fear of him turning up at any hour and checking on their tidiness. A minion whined she wasn’t dressed appropriately for his surprise visit. Once, he even cut pay for unscheduled leave, said another minion. A minion narrated a shot he copied from a photographer in Gangubai Kathiawadi. Another minion recounted how he made her cry on shoot by screaming at her for a silly mistake. Minions couldn’t leave the office till his evenings were scheduled. It was a well-paying job so long as they did not have to see ‘chacha’s’ face and only applaud his cinematic sorcery.
His office team would assign me desk-work and warn me not to inform him about it.
‘What am I supposed to say if he asks?’
‘Make up something,’ I was told.
‘Why should I?’
‘You will slowly understand,’ I was told.
His team of assistants would sneak around me. I didn’t know who was reporting what back to him. He would interrogate the management team. They would lash out at me for informing the assistants. The management wanted to control me a certain way because ‘sir’ does not need to know everything. It was quite a guessing game. He had created an ecosystem of complete chaos and loved the hubbub. New people were hired for him to use the ‘new energy’ to rekindle the ‘old energy’ that needed to be reminded it could be snuffed out and replaced. He thrived on confusion because it all boiled down to him to sort out the mess. He was the provider so long as the minions ingratiated and served their grand master.
One time he called me upstairs, what his CEO called the god’s chamber aka the Shahenshah’s durbar: his office on the seventh floor. Walls were lined with giant posters of his films. We minions sat on the fifth floor. I was of course by now a week old in the toady mill. On the seventh floor, production team members, set designer, director assistant, young people sat on the floor, armed with notebooks and laptops, alert and sugar-tongued. He sat on a throne and dictated each one about their duty. A masseur massaged his leg. He asked me what I thought of a script. I said it was lovely. He asked me to elaborate. I said I liked a character’s resolve. He denied it was written. I said that’s my interpretation. A minion promptly backed me.
‘What changes do you suggest?’ he asked.
‘We should sit on it collectively and decide,’ I said.
He mumbled something. My suggestion was dismissed. I was dismissed. I bowed out. A minion whispered to me, ‘We all walk on eggshells around him.’ I had to be a chicken in a coop I suppose.
Another time he dismissed my suggestion for a scene saying, ‘That’s not how art is made.’ I had referenced a scene from Bandit Queen to illustrate my point. Just like his entire oeuvre is homage to a classic. How else does he make his art?
Allow me to illustrate with a frame from his first film Khamoshi: The Musical. The second image is from Pakeezah.
Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam references Red Beard, Woh 7 Din.
Devdas references Pakeezah more than once.
Black references The Miracle Worker.
Saawariya references Pyaasa, Awaara.
Guzaarish references Whose Life Is It Anyway?
Goliyon Ki Raasleela: Ram-Leela references Franco Zeffirelli’s Romeo and Juliet, West Side Story.
Bajirao Mastani references Mughal-E-Azam.
Padmaavat references Mirch Masala.
Gangubai Kathiawadi, let’s give him the benefit of doubt is all his own, original artistry.
The American filmmaker Jim Jarmusch once meta quoted the French filmmaker Jean-Luc Godard when he said:
“Nothing is original. Steal from anywhere that resonates with inspiration or fuels your imagination. Devour old films, new films, music, books, paintings, photographs, poems, dreams, random conversations, architecture, bridges, street signs, trees, clouds, bodies of water, light and shadows. Select only things to steal from that speak directly to your soul. If you do this, your work (and theft) will be authentic. Authenticity is invaluable; originality is non-existent. And don’t bother concealing your thievery — celebrate it if you feel like it. In any case, always remember what Jean-Luc Godard said: “It’s not where you take things from — it’s where you take them to.”
SLB believes he takes art and betters it, removing the grubby coat of slime from the sublime, often not concerned with acknowledging the source. He is a master’s master, elevating it to an otherworldly experience, the creator of a mythoverse.
He asked me to rewrite a scene I didn’t agree with. He banged the script folders on the table like a petulant, little child. I watched his posture change into a frump. Tiger Shroff’s ‘Bacchi ho kya,’ dialogue comes to mind.
‘You are talking like those critics who find fault but don’t know how to write. They should write the film,’ he said.
That argument will never make sense to me but since I write movies now and not just about them, I rewrote the scene in half an hour and showed it to him. He found it rubbish.
I was not called to the writer’s room for a week.
His CEO said I should go to his house; hang around him, like the other assistants whose only purpose in life is to feed his ego. We are slaves to his vision, she said. She thought I was a better writer than the team he had assembled. ‘From whatever I read, only three lines of your work on social media, I could sense it,’ she said.
Either she was encouraging, or bluffing with a perfectly Zen face. From the hundreds of Ganesh idols stacked in her room, it was clear she wasn’t a reader. She was good at reading numbers, data, and stats. She would sense a sign if one of the metal idols sucked milk from a spoon on the day she enquired about box –office figures.
There was more than one right-wing hardliner in his office. Secular staff was invisible. A pretty minion in baby pink t-shirt, whose main grouse was that another minion called him a Barbie doll, said he was happy with the Modi government building roads in his home state Bihar. Another minion countered him by asking: What about the persecution of minorities by the same government? The pretty minion said he didn’t care for that. He was assisting ‘sir’ because he wanted to be an actor. Which lead me to wonder how many Muslim actors has this production worked with? Silly of me to think, right? Given that I myself don’t use my Muslim surname. I’ve now successfully planted a myth in your head. That’s how it works.
In the time that I was in Versova during my brief stint at Bhansali Productions, I met several people with their own SLB horror story. A producer said, ‘He is a difficult man but life changes for good after you work with him. Some people want to go through hell first. Life bann jaati hai.’ I didn’t understand why purgatory was necessary. Another former assistant said, ‘When you work with the worst (SLB) and the best (KJO), you are ready for the rest.’
A young woman gave him a thesis she wrote on his films. He asked her to write a book on her. She said she wanted to assist as a director. She never heard from him. A filmmaker said SLB was too friendly with another assistant, suggesting intimacy. A writer wasn’t given credit in a film.
Another writer was promised his script will be turned into a film but it never took off and now he feels his life has been ruined. A young filmmaker’s debut movie SLB produced was delayed, not promoted, and called ‘kachra’ to his face.
The young man said SLB is sexist, homophobe, classist, fat shamer, emotional abuser, and a body shamer. “He is a joyless pit of darkness where happiness goes to die. And those are the nicest words I can think of to describe him,” he said. Another filmmaker said a choreographer was in a relationship with SLB and wanted to marry him but he wouldn’t even touch her, a hotly discussed conversation amongst his minions.
Everything sounds hokum. A successful man is likely to upset a few. The few will talk. Their words may ring true through a gossamer veil of implausibility. Myths magnifying his persona.
There are too many myths about his personal life, aroused by his silence on the subject but all too obvious in his work. When people want to confirm with me, I am equally appalled at their lack of aesthetics. Like the great reader of curtains, Edgar Allan Poe, you only have to look at SLB’s use of billowy curtains in films to guess.

Above stanza, courtesy Poe, poem: The Raven.
Hope you get the drift, or draft, hawa ka jhonka! By the way, am digressing now, is the weirdly named character Sameer Rosselline in Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam the first mainstream Hindi film hero to pass wind? The ruffled curtains are first to be cautioned though.
Unlike most people willing to swallow their pride to work with SLB, few like the eponymous Gangubai character choose izzat. The house-help employed in my actor friend’s house was asked to work as a cook in his house. When she heard the whimsy, dessert-craving demands, she declined the offer. I identify with her no-nonsense style.
In November 2021, a filmmaker read a film script I wrote and said, ‘This is SLB territory. Only he can make it. It is the modern love-story he has been wanting to make for a long time.’
‘Are you sure?’ I asked, somewhat flattered but also bewildered.
‘Yes, we just have to change the setting from Calcutta-Bombay to Calcutta-New York. It is what he has been trying to crack. I’ll get him to read it.’
I never spoke to SLB about my script. I did not want to look like a schemer. I had only got a chance because of my mother’s story. I had come to write courtesan songs. Hindi films are recognised by their songs. His films have show tunes that live on long after the sequins and mirrors reflect a decadent style. He employs the old-fashioned method of making Hindi films, which is to stitch scenes around a song, not the other way round. And when you glean your references from the best of classical melodies, how can you falter?
My own SLB story is that after watching Saawariya in 2007, I wrote a few songs, moved to Bombay, lived in Versova, close to Magnum Opus, and hoped to meet him, but made no effort even though I came in close contact with people who worked directly with him. I never requested for a meeting. Over the years, I too had heard a few horror stories about him. I only believe in what I see. I waited when he would call for me, my work would have to speak for itself.
A day before Good Friday, his CEO sat me down and said it’s not working out.
There’s a mythical story of how Lata Mangeshkar was on her way to record a song for SLB but the heavens poured and she had to turn her car back. A typical SLB frame of hope and hopelessness.
Never work with your idols. You’ll have a better story to imagine and create myths.
I was so relieved to leave. I hadn’t got a moment to read, or write, let alone think since I got here. Why I wanted to work with SLB was to not believe in hearsay. I will either confirm or deny.
‘Great,’ I said, ‘everyone deserves an off on Good Friday.’
The office was unsure about public holidays. SLB’s mood dictated the calendar.
Before returning to Calcutta, I met a friend entrenched in the film business.
When she heard of the fiasco, she said, ‘I’ve heard he is very anal, is he?’
The vibrator jokes never stop.

Hi,
I just received an oral device for moderate sleep apnea like 29 AHI (mostly hypopnea if that makes a difference). When I first saw the sleep dr she said I had a crowded airway and mentioned that my tongue was “oversized.” Is anyone else’s sleep apnea due to an oversized tongue? Additionally, what can be done to address this? I’m in my late 20s F and pretty thin. I breathe through my nose normally but do get winded easily then start mouth breathing. I also think that it was triggered by/started to happen around when I got mono 8 years ago. I used to sleep well!
TYIA if you read this.

The gunshots rang out in deafening succession, the staccato cracks echoing through the dense forest. Rose's large ears flattened against her skull as she cringed, paws clamped tightly over them in a futile attempt to block out the thunderous noise. When the barrage finally fell silent, she dared to open her eyes once more.
Only moments before, merely being robbed had seemed the best outcome she could hope for. Surrounded by a pack of leering bandits, each new suggestion of what vile acts to subject her to more depraved than the last, the young Ciri had been paralyzed with dread. But then that first gunshot cracked from somewhere unseen in the trees, and chaos erupted.
Rose wasn't sure exactly what happened after that first shot - just a blinding flurry of muzzle flashes amidst the trees and dull thumps as bodies crumpled to the forest floor.
Rose's amber eyes tensed as a figure materialized from the foliage, appearing and vanishing like a specter between the tree trunks, steadily drawing nearer. For a disorienting moment, she struggled to make sense of the stranger's appearance. At least until she recognized the masked helmet, its eye visors glowing a faint emerald, a rebreather built into the front where the mouth should be. A tattered duster trailed behind them, the pale fabric muddied yet remarkably reminiscent of Rose's own sandy fur. Beneath it, military-grade armor - archaic by Epsilon's standards yet distinctly utilitarian.
"Oh," she breathed, her ears perking up as a smile spread across her feline features. "You're an Outsider!"
The figure paused as they stepped onto the dirt path, slinging a rifle over their shoulder. "Yeah...hi," the woman muttered in a gruff contralto as if her voice were tinged with far too many years of smoky cantinas.
"Thank you for saving me!" the Ciri bubbled, still grinning from ear to ear. "Wow, you guys really are there when you're needed."
"I was tracking them for a few days now," the Outsider said, beginning to examine the corpses. "Luckily, you were there to distract them. Appreciated."
With that, the helmet came off, revealing a human woman with short, raven black hair and eyes to match - dark and unflinching. No hint of expression crossed her features as she procured a small case from one of the bandit's bags.
"Wait, so I was just bait for you?" Rose's brow arched with a hint of offense as she approached. Though the Outsiders were no threat to civilians - only those who preyed upon them - the woman's candor struck a nerve.
"No," came the dispassionate reply as the woman glanced back at Rose. "You just made me attack sooner rather than later." With that, the Outsider turned to melt back into the forest once more. But Rose quickly darted around to block her path, surprisingly fearless considering her recent ordeal.
"Well, regardless - thank you." Rose cocked her head with a sly grin. "And you know...I think I'm going to tag along for a while."
For the first time, the Outsider's stony visage cracked, a confused eyebrow arching ever so slightly. "You're...what?"
"You heard me!" Rose returned a cheerful smile. "I'm Rose, by the way."
The Outsider's eyes narrowed. "I'm not looking for company. What are you even doing here?"
Rose shrugged again as if wandering alone through the perilous frontier were the most normal thing in the world. "Just wandering."
"Just...wandering?" the woman repeated incredulously. With a shake of her head, she sidestepped Rose and continued on her way.
But the Ciri was not so easily dissuaded, quickly falling into step beside her rescuer. "There's a lot of interesting stuff out there! And I feel like I'll find a lot of interesting things with you!" Her tone remained stubbornly chipper. "So what's your name?"
"You don't need my name," came the quiet reply. "I'm just an Outsider."
"Well, I'm gonna need to call you something if I'm gonna come with you." Rose flashed a sly grin. "And it doesn't seem like you're gonna do much to stop me."
A pause. A weary sigh. "They call me Crimson."
Rose couldn't stifle a laugh. "Oh! I'm Rose, you're Crimson! Hah!"
The woman's lack of amusement was palpable. "Yeah..."

There's been this irritating discourse where these white guys who don't look like they ever pick up a basketball in real life, want the Nets to trade Mikal Bridges, because the Nets dont deserve to have basketball players on their basketball team. If a worthwhile trade comes about, then fine, but people will call him a player whose value declined and turn around in the next sentence and be in every mock trade these guys draw up

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‘Song Jia...’ Ji Wuye murmured inwardly, a train of thoughts racing through his mind.
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"Hehehe..." Song Jia's airy laugh echoed through the abandoned courtyard as she sauntered in, her lithe figure swaying gracefully. Bending at the waist, she inspected the overgrown surroundings with curious eyes, plump lips curling into an impish smile.
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The sound of her voice instantly put Ji Wuye on alert.
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He swiftly schooled his features into a mask of pleasant surprise, but inwardly her abrupt presence sent a tendril of unease slithering down his spine.
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Squinting against the dappled sunlight filtering through the canopy, he scratched his tousled white locks and flashed a disingenuous grin. "Ah! Sister Song, it's...rather unexpected to find you wandering these abandoned grounds."
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As Ji Wuye's words hung in the heavy silence, Song Jia suddenly appeared before him, invading his personal space.
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Her delicate brows furrowed as piercing luminous irises bored into his, leaving him momentarily wrong-footed by her intense scrutiny. A subtle floral fragrance wafted from her, contrasting with the earthy scents of crushed foliage and damp soil surrounding them.
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Song Jia's frown deepened, plump lips pursing in dissatisfaction at his awkward responses. After a tense pause, she exploded into movement. Her slender fist lanced towards Ji Wuye's chiseled face in a lightning-fast strike.
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WHOOSH-!
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Her knuckles halted a hairsbreadth from his straight nose. Despite the suddenness of the attack, Ji Wuye's nonchalant smile evaporated as his body thrummed with coiled tension.
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His crimson gaze sharpened to piercing clarity, shoulders squaring as calloused palms twitched in readiness to deflect the incoming blow.
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From Song Jia's perspective, the handsome youth's unassuming facade shattered, replaced by a magnificent, dignified aura of quiet strength that radiated potent power.
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"Hmm...now that's more like it!" she purred approvingly, withdrawing her fist. An impish grin played about her full lips as she sashayed away, eyes roving over the scattered logs and boulders littering the courtyard.
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Ji Wuye's shoulders slumped as he exhaled a resigned sigh. 'What's gotten into her this time?'
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Now exposed, he dropped the pretense, features settling into a mask of mild annoyance. Planting himself squarely before Song Jia to impede her exploration, he demanded, "You haven't answered my question. Why are you here?"
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His blunt words held an edge of barely restrained irritation at this unwelcome interruption to his training regimen.
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"My my, Brother Ji..." Song Jia tsked in mock reproach, deftly circling around the obstruction he presented with effortless, almost dancinglike movements. "Is this the real, unvarnished you beneath that polite facade? I can scarcely believe all the other Sisters have failed to glimpse this intriguing, roguish side!"
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Her teasing lilt contrasted with the solemn weight of her luminous gaze, which remained cautiously trained upon him even as she squatted to inspect a massive, moss-covered boulder.
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"Woah..." she murmured in amazed appreciation, trailing slender fingertips over the craggy stone surface. "This is enormous! Don't tell me you've been training with something this size?"
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Resigning himself to her intrusive presence for now, Ji Wuye retreated to the deck edging the courtyard's living quarters and settled cross-legged upon the weathered planks with a weary sigh. His crimson eyes openly studied Song Jia's lithe, muscular form as she crouched mere paces away.
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For all her seeming delicacy, the sleek curves of the seventeen-year-old's figure hinted at the taut strength coiled beneath her form-fitting martial robe, a byproduct of constant rigorous training.
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An undeniable beauty, yet her luminous gaze remained shrewdly guarded, at odds with her outward nonchalance as she focused on her surroundings.
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The same wariness he had sensed the first time they met in the previous timeline, when her transcendent skills rendered him little more than an awed spectator...
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'Back then, she was already so tremendously powerful that I could only watch from behind,' Ji Wuye reflected with a quiet, inward murmur.
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Shaking off the nostalgic reverie, his brow furrowed as he refocused on the puzzling matter at hand. 'But why is she really here, in this remote, disused courtyard?'
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Though he couldn't precisely recall details from the previous timeline, a vague recollection surfaced that Song Jia had become something of a famous among the Outer Disciples after her prodigious talents were unveiled.
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An insatiable appetite for challenging others and constant training leaving a trail of defeated geniuses in her wake...
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This secluded area, isolated from the bustling male and female disciple quarters, was abandoned for good reason. So what had drawn her formidable presence here today?
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As Ji Wuye's thoughts chased themselves in fruitless circles, Song Jia abruptly paused and shifted her piercing gaze regard back towards him, seeming satisfied by whatever she had discerned.
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Straightening fluidly from her crouch, she fixed him with a imperious look and issued a simple challenge:
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"Let's spar...Brother Ji."
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