chapters 1&2
chapter 3
chapter 4
chapter 5
chapter 6
chapter 7
chapter 8
chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
The lecture was supposed to be on Rationality 101, apparently not for Newcomers only. Serene was there to have her back but G was having a hard time focusing.
The boring black uniform more fitting for a hotel receptionist defaced the godlike beauty standing in front of a huge screen. Gentry couldn’t believe her eyes: this was the man she had her hands on a little while ago?
No, it couldn’t be.
It had been just an avatar, too perfect in its unblemished visage, too pure for this world. Yet the man whose face she remembered as if it was etched on the back of her eyelids, who she’d been constantly thinking about, who her hands itched to snatch, was standing right there, in the flesh.
Back in the dreamy simulated world she caught herself thinking that a trim waist like this couldn’t anatomically work on a human, yet here he was: a towering spread of fit shoulders perfectly balanced above the flexible whip of his midsection. The light-grey eyes that betrayed every movement of his pupils were as real as the ones that reflected the mock moon during her test. Below them lay the sharp slope of the cheekbones one could cut themselves on.
The only thing a bit different, apart from the outfit choice, was the young god’s hair. In the simulation, it was flowing and probably too long to be practical. This person’s mane was much shorter and fell down his neck in a neat ponytail, tastefully tamed with a single hairpin.
She had to get her hands on this treasure.
He was making last minute preparations for the lecture, looking through the papers on the desk, dark strands framing his face, light grey eyes sharp in careful concentration.
Professor Q, huh.
He said this was his name, and so did the note on the lecture hall door.
She was sure it was the man who had melted in her arms making the most delicious sounds a male throat could produce.
Had he recognised her?
Unlikely.
At the time of the simulation session, she didn’t have a camera that could pick up her facial features but just to be on the safe side, she decided to go by “G” in his class. There were bound to be lots of people with a name starting with a G, right? What would be the odds it was this particular newcomer that Q had tested that would end up in his class?
The man finally lifted his eyes at the audience and a gentle smile momentarily graced his features before disappearing as if he didn’t see someone he’d expected to.
The holoboard on the wall behind him obediently lit up following his nonchalant gesture. Gentry found it annoying that one needed a pair of special glasses to see all the augmented reality stuff and really navigate the city but again, with Sereen’s help she had more or less gotten used to it in the couple of days she had to deal with the necessities like settling down, getting food and finding her way around Ashtapada.
Still, could they use a piece of chalk or, at least, a marker to write on the board? No need to show off your Fully Automated Luxury Space Communism tech just to write a couple of notes on the board!
On second thought, high-tech-crazy or not, if this city brought up men like this one, she would definitely do her best to stay here to… reap the benefits!
They took a desk next to a huge clear floor-to-ceiling window that overlooked the winter garden.
“Professor Q seems a little distracted today,” Sereen said, swiftly tapping a couple of buttons on G’s wrist to show her how to confirm that she was attending the lecture. “He’s usually much more chatty and friendly. I wonder what got into him.”
“Is he?” Gentry responded with an artificial air of indifference. “I just hope he’s more open to a discussion than that Poe guy.”
“He is! And Professor Poe isn’t that bad,” Sereen reprimanded before chuckling a little — since his little secret became known to students, he became known as Holopoe. “Just wait and see, it’s gonna be a blast. Q’s lectures are always very engaging.”
It proved to be utter bullshit.
After fiddling with the symbols on the interactive screen for ten minutes into the class, students getting more and more agitated behind his back, the lecturer seemed to give up. Turning back to the audience, he absentmindedly nodded to a couple of people in the lecture hall and sighed with a painfully fake smile.
“For today’s class, we are going to need to read a certain extract from a book,” he said, tone apologetic for some reason, but it solidified G’s conviction that she already knew this person. “I’ve just sent it to each of your wristcomms. We’ll have some quiet time and read it by ourselves, alright?”
“Reading from the comm?” Sereen mumbled to herself. “Couldn’t he just print them out?”
The rest of the students’ grumbles showed that they shared her disappointment. Q could only hopelessly smile again before returning to his work on the board.
Reading from the little semi-transparent screens was indeed torture. Quickly giving up on trying to awkwardly use gestures for scrolling through the text, she looked out of the window to entertain herself with the garden outside. From the modest height they were sitting at, the people below were quite discernible, partly hidden by the greenery, spread here and there in small groups and pairs. Gentry longed to be there, too. What was the use of being here with the most attractive person in the whole world if the only thing she could see was his back?
Well, the back didn’t look half bad, if she was honest, and what was below also pleased the eye.
But still. It would soon bore even the most easily entertained.
Her gaze fell to a small clearing where a lone male figure was sitting, writing something in a notebook. By the looks of it, the notebook was a real paper-made thing without the bells and whistles usual for Ashtapada. The next thing G noticed was a pair of slender legs, barefoot, stretched to dip the toes into the clear water of the artificial stream.
God bless the urban designers of this place!
The figure lifted the head and in an inconceivably graceful motion, swung the long blond bangs away from the face.
G straightened her back. Was it... Ok, maybe Q was the most handsome man she’d seen in her life but this... This was the younger boy she’d noticed a couple of days back, the one in a plaid skirt, shamelessly flirting with everyone within reach. Today, he wasn’t wearing one but the blue jeans hugging his thighs, rolled up almost to the knees, presented a picture just as tantalizing. Even with the hair was a completely different colour, even though the half-up, half-down style kept his face hidden, she was absolutely certain it was the same person.
Just you wait, young beauty, as soon as this “lecture” was over, your princess in shining armour was coming to pick you up!
Suddenly snapping out of the dull weariness, she turned on the auglasses S helped her obtain earlier and tapped away on her comm screen.
What a chance to give the local text sharing feature a go!
“The garden is pretty, but with a blossom like you, it is truly breathtaking. I wonder if anyone has picked this sweet flower or if anyone dares to,” she typed a cheesy note and folded the message into a neat 3D figurine of an origami paper crane with her fingers in the air.
Was S watching? Screw it, even if she was, she couldn’t read the message with her glasses off, right?
Carefully aiming the device at the lone figure, she launched the crane downwards, and it fluttered like a weightless butterfly in spirals, through the glass and right into the young man’s lap, not disturbing the notebook pages. He started at first at the intrusion but then turned his own glasses on and unfolded the message. A shy smile appeared on his plump lips, and he looked flattered, turning his head around to see if the sender was in sight. Catching no one, he typed something below the initial message and deftly folded it back into a crane that, to G’s surprise, flew directly at her, in uneven spirals along the wall. The man traced it with a smile, propping himself back on his arms, his whole slim body and face on full display now.
God, was he good-looking.
Easily passing the physical border of the glass again, the crane crashed into Gentry’s wristcomm, dutifully delivering the message and betraying her tactical position at the same time. An amused kind of surprise showed on the young man’s face and he waved at her to show that she had been exposed. She waved back, trying to look nonchalant but probably failing miserably.
Very smooth, G, way to go.
The message read, “Is a flower only good for looking at? Not this one.”
Oooh, this boy was playing with fire!
“Hey, G,” Sereen nudged. “Have you finished reading?”
“Mm? Oh, yeah.” Gentry lied easily. She had skimmed the first couple of paragraphs and was sure she’d be able to come up with something if asked.
“Done everybody?” the deep gentle voice called from the holoboard and G’s attention snapped back to the dignified face.
The class murmured affirmatively.
“I’m sorry today’s lecture isn’t as fun as usual,” he admitted. “I must say I’m still unsure how to approach such complex topic as this one. But with your help, I hope we’ll figure it out.”
Everyone seemed to perk up.
“You just read an extract on paradoxes,” Q went on. “And you might be wondering why we are raising a philosophical topic on a rational thinking course.”
“There you go,” Sereen whispered. “He’s back to normal!”
G humphed. This did seem interesting. Was it a good idea to read the extract after all?
Q continued, “In the text, you might have encountered the definition of a paradox. Would anyone explain it with their own words?”
A raised hand and the lecturer’s nod brought some courageous soul to their feet.
“It’s when you start with the correct premises, use consistent logic but wind up with an impossible conclusion,” they said. “There are three types: falsidical, veridical and antimony-type, which are...”
“Correct,” Q smiled and nodded the person back down. It was a smile worth starting a thousand wars over.
“Now there’s a reason why I asked you to read about them. Why do you think people have been fascinated with paradoxes for such a long time?”
S raised her hand and received a kind invitation.
“I might be wrong,” she said. “But it seems that they point at the limitations of our thinking, things that seem rational but in fact aren’t. We feel that with our all-conquering logic we can solve any puzzle but it’s not always the case. Right?”
“This is very insightful,” the teacher confirmed. “It is believed by many that what’s rational is true and therefore what rationality cannot explain must be false.”
“I definitely know someone who would die on that hill,” Gentry grumbled under her breath.
“I’m sorry?” Q asked. “Is there something you wanted to add... sorry, I don’t know your name?”
Still half mad with professor Poe, Gentry stood up. “It’s G, I’m a Newcomer. I was saying how a human mind can fool itself into thinking it knows what it looks at as long as it makes sense. But in reality, it’s not there, like the sky.”
That was the only thing she remembered from that last lecture! She felt the tips of her ears heat up but the kind and considering look on Q’s face showed her gamble paid off.
“These are very insightful observations, G, why don’t we try exploring them together?” — he waived her to sit down and turned back to the class — “Five minutes to discuss how paradoxes might reveal the weaknesses of rational thinking. Send your answers to the board when you’re done.”
“Whoa, daring as usual,” Sereen smiled. “I knew you’d enjoy his class.”
“Now, consider these two questions,” Q said to another student who stood up at his hand wave. “If an unstoppable force meets an indestructible object, what is going to happen?”
The person seemed to contemplate it for a while and the teacher didn’t rush him.
“Isn’t it one of those which are impossible to solve because the existence of the one automatically disproves the existence of the other?”
Q nodded, “Correct. The second one about the barber in a small town is of the same sort. Sereen?”
S stood up too, “The one that shaves all and only men that don’t shave themselves?”
“Yes,” he confirmed. “At first, a premise like this seems perfectly reasonable, doesn’t it?”
“It does,” S responded, somewhat rashly. “But it’s clear that a barber like this cannot exist.”
“Wait, really?” Gentry whispered as Q nodded in satisfaction and urged her friend to go on.
“Yes, if we ask ourselves if this barber shaves himself. If he doesn’t, then he is part of the group which he does shave that do not shave themselves, but if he is in this group, then he does shave himself which makes it impossible for him to be this barber by definition.”
While the rest of the class was catching up with the logic, Q’s smile got only wider, more inviting.
“What does it tell us about the nature of the premise then?” he asked.
“That although it seems that it sounds logical on the surface, it is in fact nonsense and we don’t even need to hear the rest of the riddle to discard it completely,” S concluded.
The man chuckled.
“Well, I wouldn’t be that brash, to be honest, but on balance, you’re right,” he said. “If you stay after the lecture, I might recommend a couple of books on the topic. Your Newcomer friend is welcome to stay, too.”
G put up the best of the aloof fronts, “I’d be happy to, Professor.”
“Q is fine,” he smiled again and went on addressing the rest of the class that immediately exploded into a heated discussion.
***
“Basically, what I think we’re supposed to learn from this,” S concluded after a while, standing up so that everyone could hear her. “Is that before applying rationality, we have to make sure that all the premises we are dealing with are in fact realistic. Otherwise, there is no way rational thinking will help us.”
“Excellently put, as always,” Q applauded. “I’d love to see if everyone agrees or has something else to add to the discussion but our time is up. Feel free to write me a letter with your reflections on the topic.”
As interesting as the class was, the urge to leave the premises as soon as the teacher dismissed everyone seemed to be universal and applicable even to the Ashtapadans.
“I have to go now,” Sereen said. “Text you later, ok?” And with a reciprocal nod to Q, disappeared in the doors, joining the rest of the students.
Sadly, she couldn’t recall what they were talking about after the lecture, nor what titles Professor recommended for some home reading. She just hoped she didn’t make a fool of herself.
What Gentry did remember though was that after Q left as well and she came up to the panoramic window, Sereen and the mysterious flower boy were leaving the garden together. And it was hard not to notice that her new friend took off her wristcomm before they took off, and hid it in the tall grass.

I’m gonna lay out the whole context here, and it’s 2 years long so bear with me. A TL;DR isn’t really possible as there’s so much important context to whether or not IATA.
We’ve been married almost 10 years and she’s from overseas. She came here through our marriage. We were happy and doing extremely well for ourselves.
The problem started to 2 years ago. My friends wedding. Afterward we went out and then went to another friends house to continue partying. At the party one of the wedding guests started having a pity party about how he’s depressed because all these happy couples are around and he’s single.
For context. This guy is weird. He’s disrespectful to women, capitalizes on captive audiences (waitresses most often), and is overall a loser. He’s got a good job but that’s about it.
My wife, listens to his sob story and says “I have a sister!” and immediately starts FaceTiming her sister. This is something I’ve said isn’t okay. We’re not tinder, and we’re not matchmakers.
Beyond that her sister has a history of treating her poorly. She constantly told my wife she’s stupid growing up, well into adulthood. She blocked my wife for a whole year because my wife called her and told her not to go on boats with men she doesn’t know. Told my wife to live like she doesn’t have a sister. For a whole year I consoled my wife a couple times a week.
Anyways we were both drunk and with people so I’m not gonna start a fight right there. I figure I’ll talk to her about it maturely later. So I do. In the meantime, I switch to speaking Arabic with her sister and tell her this isn’t okay and isn’t what she wants.
Her and my wife to this day claim I was happy and supportive. They claim I was too drunk to remember. But there’s a few things wrong with this. I drove home, I take drinking and driving VERY seriously and would never, ever do it. In fact, if I know I’ve drank too much, I’ll hand my keys to a friend before the liquor starts hitting, just to avoid any possibility of making that bad decision.
Secondly, I switched to Arabic. I’m white. Arabic is a language I learned. When I speak it, I speak it very, very deliberately and remember the conversations perfectly. I know exactly what I said.
Anyways, when I talk to my wife later, I’m told how it’s wrong to prevent her from helping her sister and how her sister really likes this guy. A guy she talked to for 5 minutes. I told her it’s wrong to think of it as “helping” her sister in the first place and that her sister is a grown woman who can find her own partner.
So my wife says “okay I’ll tell my sister to stop talking to him”. That was the end of it. Or so I thought.
A few weeks later I’m at a different event and this guy let it slip they’re still talking. Immediately I’m upset and text my wife about how she lied to me.
She said her sister was really falling in love with this guy and separating them would be wrong. She said she did tell her sis to block him but when her sis went into a depression she told her she can unblock him and talk to him, behind my back.
Upset I told her we need to talk about going behind my back and how disrespectful of my boundaries this whole ordeal was. She said “it’s okay I’ll tell her to block him again”.
Over. Or so I thought for the next few months. A few months later I again am at an event with this guy and this time he’s smart enough to lie about them talking. But I’m a salesman and a bullshitter. You can’t bullshit me unless I trust you. I knew immediately he was lying but I let it go. I did ask my wife and she said no they’re not talking. So I believed her.
Well, a year and a half goes by. In that time her sister and her fought about how her sister could come to the US. We said we’d help her but it’s a lengthy process. At the time I had little animosity toward her sister and would’ve loved to see her come here and be near my wife again. She wasn’t happy with that and said it takes too long. This is her sister’s mindset.
Anyway. Her sister gets a B1 visa in the meantime, temporary business visitor and wants to come visit my wife. Lies through her teeth about her intentions to the immigration officer, telling them she wants to stay 90 days. They approve her for 60.
So we file for an extension ASAP so she can visit for 3 months. Staying with us the whole time. I wanted her to have fun on her visit so I arrange for my friends and I to go out. This guy shows up. She talked to him and told him our plans.
Immediately they disappear into the casino and come back holding hands and all kinds of PDA. I’m fuming because I know she’s a conniving word I won’t say here. I don’t say anything though and we go through the night and I let it go so I can have fun.
The next day he’s picking her up from my house and they’re out for the whole day. The next time my wife is off work, same story. Well, I thought you were here to visit her? And that’s where I put my foot down.
I got told it was wrong to try and control her, wrong to try and separate them, etc. etc. etc. Finally she blocks his number and he calls from a separate number. I turn off her SIM card because I’m not gonna support her going behind my back in my own home. He calls me and tells me he really loves her and just wishes I’d accept it.
I tell him very plainly I will never, ever accept it because it all stemmed from him, her, and my wife going behind my back. Primarily my wife, as she’s the only one of the three I should be able to trust is telling me the truth.
At this point, I feel as if my wife had an emotional affair, although it’s with her own family. She repeatedly chose to go behind my back, against a boundary I had told her repeatedly before this situation at my friend’s wedding after party ever transpired. If that’s not an emotional affair, I don’t know what is.
So I tell him bluntly to not call me anymore and I’m not going to change my stance, and his feelings don’t mean shit to me. He started to give me a sob story about how we’re friends and he I should be happy for him and I cut him off and told him to save his breath.
My wife is upset at me for how I talked to him. Another emotional affair. Trying to protect the feelings of this dude.
The next day, while my wife is at work I’m eating lunch at our dinner table and studying schoolwork her sister comes to the table and starts talking to me about this guy asking if I talked to him and I tell her plainly I did and what I told him.
She goes into a story about how she really loves him, she’s an adult woman and I shouldn’t be intervening etc. I told her I agree I shouldn’t ever have been involved and neither should my wife. I told her to save her breath with any talk of her feelings because I don’t care. She started crying telling me I’m cruel etc.
I told her at this point I’m done being nice. I’ve been lied to for 2 years and it’s over. I’m done being my laid back self and I’ve been pushed repeatedly and I’m standing up for my marriage and my boundaries.
I did turn her SIM card back on so she could call my wife and I, her hosts.
The next morning I wake up to my wife in tears calling me to her sisters room. Her sister is bawling her eyes out and packing her bags to go home. I talk her sister into coming for a car ride with my wife and I to talk things out.
Immediately in the car my wife starts berating her sister about how she’s selling her for a man and a whole host of other things. I calm my wife down and tell her that’s not okay to say to her sister. Because against what they thought I don’t want and would’ve never wanted this to cause a separation between them. I know how much my wife values family.
In the car her sister tells me she really loves this guy and that she can see them being a family one day etc. etc. etc. I tell her plainly don’t ever bring him around my house, if they do marry and have kids, don’t ever bring them around my house, and don’t consider me her brother in law because I will never do anything for her again after she goes home.
My wife is shocked, she’s shocked and they both wonder how I could be so cruel. I said I’m over it. I’m over hearing about this guy, I’m over being used, and I will never again trust her. She said she understands and resumes talking to this guy.
A few days later we’re in the car going to a family event with my family and I get asked if he can come. I said no, very politely. I said no, he’s not part of my family. I was told how terrible I am, and my wife and her sister both jump out of my car in a bad part of Chicago, an area neither of them know.
My wife calls my family and tells them I kicked them out of the car. So my family starts blowing up my phone screaming at me. Once I explained the situation my family said they’ll come pick them up but I hung around and kept driving by to make sure they were okay. Eventually my wife calls me and says they’ll get in.
So I pull over and they open the doors and my wife goes “I’m scared I don’t feel comfortable getting in the car with you”. So I drive away pissed off. This is a 85,000 car in a bad part of the city where carjackings happen every other day.
I go park somewhere but keep an eye on them to make sure they stay safe. A homeless guy passed them and my wife calls me to come get her. So I do and we go home.
Again her sister packs her shit and cries that she’s going home. I tell her to relax, sleep on it and we’ll talk in the morning. She does eventually and in the morning she decides she’ll stay.
A week goes by and I hear nothing about this guy from her. My friends and I all joked about him and made light fun of him. He caught wind of it and cried to my wife’s sister who told my wife, who came to me and aggressively told me to stop and leave them both alone. I got pissed off because this was a private convo between me and my friends and if he heard it and got his feelings hurt it’s on him.
This spiraled into a huge argument with me, my wife, and her sister. In the argument I asked her sister plainly if she planned to leave at the 90 day mark. She said no.
So I kicked her out of our house. Her and my wife went for a walk and I yelled out the front door to get her shit to the curb before the walk before I do, because if she doesn’t do it herself it’ll be thrown on the wet ground. They both thought I was joking before then I assume. Her sister comes in and packs her stuff and gets out. I said if you plan on staying here illegally it won’t be in my house. If the choose is between here or the streets, it’ll be the streets.
She went to stay with the boyfriend and his parents. His parents must not have liked her too much because within a couple weeks they made them both move out.
This was in January of this year.
Since then, I’ve been repeatedly goaded into accepting this. My wife has tried to get me to visit her sister, etc.
It came to a head recently at a wedding we went to for another friend. Her sister and this guy were there. I didn’t say a word to either one the entire night and all was fine.
Except my wife spent the whole night at their table because he wouldn’t dance or do anything to have fun. She can’t handle the idea that her sister might find something she doesn’t like about this guy. She has to be there just in case the relationship goes on life support.
This pisses me off, obviously. She’s more invested in their relationship than she’s been in ours for the past 2 years. Grown adults.
Well, today she was going to her sisters house. She had 2 bags. An ulta bag and a discovery bag. I asked what that is, and she said it’s for her sister. She pulled out taco shells and said it’s just small stuff she wants her to try. But I could see through the bag and saw beauty products. I’m not an idiot.
I looked in when she went to the bathroom and saw a fucking armoire full of shit. I looked at the receipt. $300. I was fucking livid.
I continued getting ready for work and said “her husband can’t buy her that?”. It’s confrontational, yes. But I said it politely, and was open to talking about it.
I get met with immediately hostility. I never raised my voice but I made it very clear I wasn’t being nice about this or anything anymore.
I told her “maybe she could pay you back and find you a new husband”. I’m going to give her a choice. Me or her sister now. Because this has gotten fucking ridiculous.
We pay for her to come here. She hired an immigration lawyer apparently, but doesn’t have money to pay me back for the flight or even pay for the Ubers they take or anything. My wife is trying to make up for this losers shortcomings. He’s too much of an idiot to see that her sister is using him.
By the way, this isn’t her first fiance. It’s not even her first western fiance. She’s been engaged to at least 3 different guys. One from France, another from Belgium, and a third from Canada before this guy. She was looking to immigrate. He’s a fucking idiot though so, oh well.
My wife’s sister is very materialistic. My wife is fortunately down to earth but is so far up her sisters ass because she thinks if she doesn’t do everything her sister wants that her sister will cut her from her life again. Which is exactly what would happen.
I told her that’s on her sister. I’m not asking her to never talk to her sister. I’m asking her to stop treating her sister like she’s a child and putting their relationship before ours. Stop bending over backwards for a grown woman who will throw you away the moment you’re inconvenient.
But it’ll never happen it seems and it’s the reason I’m strongly considering divorcing her. I’m over this fucking shit. Oh, and by the way, my wife claims that she’s scared of me etc. now when she tells the story to other people.
I have never and would never hit my wife. I’ve never given her any reason to be afraid of me. So to put that out there on me is absolutely fucking bullshit and I’ve lost all trust in her.
AITAH?

My wife, Mia, and I were driving cross-country. It was our first attempt at the “Great American Roadtrip.”
Mia and I rented a small RV; more of a camper than a full blown RV. We packed up a couple suitcases with plenty of room for any souvenirs and we hit the dusty trail.
We started our journey on the “Mother Road”-- Route 66-- driving south from Chicago until we connected to i-70 and shot straight west through Missouri.
The goal was to see those parts of the country we had never seen before, stopping anywhere that seemed interesting. From the plains of Kansas up through the badlands of Wyoming and South Dakota.
In Missouri we saw the world’s largest cap gun. In Kansas we visited the Evel Knievel Museum and the World’s Largest Belt Buckle.
We love all those kitschy, tourist trap places.
Eventually, we made it to Colorado and after a few hours more of driving through amber waves of grain, we saw them... the Rocky Mountains.
We made an exit and headed north through the winding mountain highways.
The Rockies were gorgeous. Snow capped in the middle of summer, some of the peaks pierced through the white fluffy clouds.
We saw a sign that read “Traffic Tunnel - 3 Miles.”
A little further and sure enough, there it was, a large tunnel bored directly through the mountain in front of us.
A large sign read, “Pike Tunnel - Longest Traffic Tunnel in the Nation! - Please turn your headlights on now.”
“How long is it?” asked Mia.
“That’s what she said,” I quipped.
But she was right, there was no information beyond the detail that this was the longest tunnel in the nation.
“Can’t be more than a mile or two,” I said as I watched the little white car ahead of us slip into the darkness. A moment later we joined it.
The tunnel was lit by fluorescents that gave everything a greenish yellow tinge. On the left hand side was a raised walkway behind a railing for maintenance access.
Initially I was struck by the incredible amount of work that went into the construction of this man- made marvel.
“We’re under a million tons of rocky mountain right now,” I said.
“How many years before this caves in?” Mia responded.
I shot her a look--
“Let’s save the cave-in talk until we’re out on the other side.”
“I’m just saying, nature will take this back eventually,” she continued.
I scanned the empty road ahead of us.
“Where did the other car go?” I asked.
We were now alone in the tunnel, no cars ahead of us nor behind us.
“Huh... they must have sped off ahead. Maybe they’re scared of a cave-in?”
My Spotify playlist had stopped playing. Mia looked at the phone.
“No cell service.”
She turned on the radio and spun the dial only to find static.
“You’re not going to be able to pick up a station in here,” I said.
She turned the volume down.
“Just wanted to check... If only we had some CDs. This tunnel really keeps going.”
“I would have thought we’d be through it by now,” I replied.
I looked at the RV’s odometer, 45,600 miles. I picked up speed. I wanted to try and catch up to the little white car.
Up until this point, the tunnel was a straight shot, but now the tunnel started to curve to the right. It may have been my imagination but it also felt as though we were descending…
Mia felt it too and she started to get antsy.
“Where did that other car go? How long is this tunnel?”
There was an urgency in her voice.
I was getting nervous, claustrophobia was not usually a problem for me but when I looked down at the odometer and I saw that it had gone up by 3 miles, my mind began to wander to unsettling places.
We were descending in altitude. I could feel it. I could see a slope in the lights on the ceiling and the railing of the maintenance walkway. I could feel a pressure in my head, and I was getting cold.
“Could you grab me a coke from the back, Mia?”
I couldn’t have Mia getting anxious, that would only start a chain reaction and make me freak out which would then make her freak out.
She unbuckled and ducked into the back of the RV to where we had a cooler stocked with drinks and food.
Just as she stepped into the back, I saw something.
There standing on the side of the road was a MAN wearing a reflective safety vest and a hard hat. He was WAVING to me as I passed him by.
Something about him looked... strange…
I watched him in the side-view mirror as we passed and he was still watching the RV, still waving at the back of our vehicle as he faded into the distance.
Mia reappeared from the back of the RV, Coke in hand. She popped it and handed it to me.
“You look worried.”
“I’m fine,” I smiled and took a sip of the Coke.
“Eric, slow down!”
I slammed on the breaks as I saw what made Mia scream. In the road in front of us was a roadblock.
Two reflective traffic sawhorses blocked both lanes of the tunnel. Beyond the roadblock, the lights of the tunnel were dark. There was nothing but a void of blackness.
Standing in front of the roadblock was another man wearing a reflective vest and a hard hat, only this time his hard hat had a light on top which obscured his face.
We came to a jolting stop.
I turned to Mia
“Are you okay?” I asked.
“I’m fine,” she replied. “It’s a cave-in isn’t it?”
“God, I hope not.”
I rolled down the window, leaned out and yelled to the man in the hard hat.
“Hey! What’s going on?!”
The man was about 5 yards away. He took two steps towards us and then raised a hand to his mouth and yelled.
“Just doing some maintenance!”
“How long is it going to take?!” I yelled back.
The man made a hand gesture as if he didn’t hear me.
“How long is it going to take?!” I called again.
He made the same gesture. I unbuckled my seat belt and grabbed the door release.
“What are you doing?” Mia asked.
“I gotta know what’s going on.”
“Eric, just stay here, it might not be safe.”
“I’ll be just a second,” I said.
I pushed the door open and stepped down from the RV.
“Stay in your vehicle!” the man yelled.
He took a couple steps towards me with his hand out telling me to stop.
“What’s the hold up?!” I shouted.
The man was a bit closer now but I still couldn’t see his face through the shining light on his helmet.
“Please stay in your vehicle!” he shouted.
There was something off about him.
Then I heard it–
“EEEAAAUUUUUUGHHHHHHHH!!!”
A scream, or something, rolled from deep in the tunnel. The worker turned and looked into the darkness. Then he ran past the barricades and soon all we could see of him was the light on his helmet.
The light disappeared a moment later.
“What the hell was that?! Is someone hurt?” Mia asked.
“I have no idea,” I said.
“Should we do something?” Mia asked.
I just sat there and watched the pitch black tunnel in front of me. I had no idea what to tell her. I checked the sideview mirrors. There was still nobody behind us.
“Where are the other cars?” I asked.
“They must have gotten through before the roadblock... Or maybe they caused the roadblock?” Mia replied.
“I saw another worker a little ways back. We could try to go back and talk to him.”
“We’d be going straight into any oncoming cars.”
“There’s a maintenance walkway. We didn’t pass him that long ago. We can probably catch him on foot.”
“Maybe we should just wait for the guy to come back.”
She reached over and grabbed my arm. I squeezed her hand.
She was right.
I looked out at the tunnel ahead of us. I turned on the RV’s high beams but all I could see beyond the roadblock was more tunnel and more road.
I checked my phone. Unsurprisingly, there was no service still.
We waited, but the man never came back.
“It’s been twenty minutes,” Mia said, “How come there hasn’t been another car behind us?
I was having the same thought. I rolled down my window and stuck my head out. I looked back at the road behind us. It went back about 200 yards before curving out of sight.
There was no sign of that first worker I saw on the maintenance walk way. I looked at the roadblock ahead of us and clicked on the RV’s high beams. There was nothing beyond the roadblock but more tunnel. It didn’t look like it was under construction, just very dark.
“I think we should keep going,” I said.
“What about the roadblock?”
“We’ll move those sawhorses out of the way and just drive past,” I said as I opened my door.
Mia looked at me, then she cast her eyes to the dark tunnel ahead of us. I knew she was processing the same limited options that I was.
Driving backwards would be a huge risk in the instance of another car finally coming along.
Getting out and walking would take God knows how long, we could have driven 10 miles at this point.
Forward was our best option.
“Let’s do it,” Mia said.
We jumped out and quickly pulled the two sawhorses out of the right lane. I pulled the RV up past the barriers, then we jumped out again and put the sawhorses back where they were. We didn't need another car to come barreling through.
We were finally moving again, slowly. It was pitch black save for the high beams of the RV.
We crept forward at around 15 miles per hour. As the tunnel turned and twisted, my eyes started to play tricks on me. I kept seeing shapes at the furthest point of the tunnel.
I kept seeing something standing just at the end of the next bend but as we roll forward, there was nothing there.
“Where are the workers?” Mia asked.
“I don’t know.”
I was done rationalizing. This was all wrong. Traffic tunnels are never this long.
My mind started to wander to all the road trip urban legends I’d read about; The Killer in the Backseat, The Disappearing Gas Station, The Pale Man In The Corn Field.
Did we stumble into some strange outlier location? An in-between point on the endless roads that cross this country?
Then I saw it–
“Look! A person! Thank god!” Mia shouted.
As we rounded a curve in the tunnel, a group of maintenance workers entered our view.
The three of them stood on the left side of the road behind two more sawhorses topped with flashing lights.
Two of them faced towards us, the third was facing the other two.
The one with his back to us wore a light on his hard hat. Was this the same guy we saw earlier? How did he get this far away?
I approached slowly and rolled down the window.
“Hey! You left us waiting back there!” I yelled.
There was no response.
In fact, all three men were completely silent, and it was hard to tell in the flashing light of the sawhorses, but they looked to be standing COMPLETELY STILL.
“Hello?!” I yelled again.
I pushed open my door and stepped out onto the pavement.
“Eric wait--”
I held up a finger to Mia.
“Just a second.”
I slowly stepped towards the 3 men.
“Hello?”
No response… What the fuck?
The bright lights of the sawhorses obscured their faces.
I kept moving closer.
“Hey, what’s going on--”
Then I saw it.
Their faces... They were plastic.
In front of me stood three mannequins.
I backed away toward the RV, then I turned and walked hurriedly to the vehicle.
I was seriously freaked out but I didn’t want to alarm Mia. I climbed into the driver’s seat and slammed the door shut.
“They’re mannequins.” I said.
“What?”
“They’re mannequins.”
”Why?... What?...”
“I don’t know…”
I looked back over at the three figures and my blood ran cold…
The Hard Hat Mannequin had somehow TURNED AROUND to face us. All three figures appeared to be watching us now.
Then we heard it--
A loud resonant banging on the side, and then the roof of the RV.
“What the hell was that?” Mia whispered.
We listened, holding our breath. Then--
A shuffling sound--
Something was moving ON or IN the RV.
“Stay here.” I said.
I got up.
“Eric, wait!”
I moved to the back of the RV.
It was dark. I went for a drawer in the kitchenette space and pulled out a flashlight.
I moved to the rear of the RV, the bedroom. My flashlight illuminated an empty room.
“Whoever is back here, I have a gun…”
A shitty bluff. But I didn’t see anything.
I shone the light out of the windows of each side of the RV. Nothing.
Then I heard it–
A shuffling sound, from right above me.
I looked up and screamed–
“Fuck!”
On the roof of the RV, staring through the skylight was a woman with vacuous black eyes and a dead smile.
Her stringy black hair dangled down towards me casting thing black shadows across her horrible pale face.
“Mia, drive! Fast!” I screamed.
Mia JUMPED over to the driver’s seat, shifted into gear and STOMPED on the gas. The RV was clunky but it could move when it needed to.
We lurched forward and I fell back.
I trained my flashlight up onto the skylight again and the woman was gone.
I scrambled to my feet and looked out of the side windows.
Did Mia shake her off? There was no sign of the woman. I moved to the passenger seat, breathing heavily and sweating.
“What happened?” She asked, keeping the RV at a steady 50 mph.
“There was a woman on the roof,” I said flatly.
I realize now that I was in a kind of shock.
“A woman?”
“Her eyes were black.”
Mia just looked at me, then back at the tunnel ahead of us.
“There’s something wrong with this tunnel.” I whispered.
Mia pointed at the road ahead, “Look.”
I looked out at the tunnel. There were more mannequins. A LOT more mannequins. They were positioned on both sides of the road.
They were all facing us and even though I never saw them move, when I looked in the side-view mirror, they were somehow STILL facing us, turning to watch us as we drove past. Watching without eyes.
“Just keep driving.” I said.
As we drove on, the mannequins crowded the sides of the road more and more. There were thousands of them. Eventually they were so close that some of their outstretched arms hit the side of the RV.
They were closing in on us. Squeezing our path forward. One stood in the middle of the road.
“I don’t think i can get around it.”
“Run it over. Don’t stop.”
The RV smashed into the mannequin. Its head shot forward and bounced against the windshield and the vehicle shuddered as it rolled over the body.
Soon there were two in the road. Then three.
I could see where this was going. Pretty soon there would be too many for the RV to ram through, but goddammit we were going to get through as many as we could.
“Speed up, Mia.”
CRASH!
The sound was surreal, smashing into mannequin after mannequin at nearly 60 miles per hour.
Hands, legs, heads and torsos flew.
The windshield cracked, the RV shuddered and screamed and eventually slowed down, despite the screaming engine.
I’m certain the axle was jammed up with lifeless, plastic body parts. Eventually we came to a stop.
“She won’t move,” Mia said.
She pressed on the gas but it was no use, the RV just rocked a little bit.
“Try reverse.”
She shifted and pressed on the gas, we got some decent movement before running into another jam.
“Fuck.”
“Should we get out and look?” Mia asked.
“I’ll go,” I said as I grabbed the flashlight and popped the passenger door. Mia unbuckled her seatbelt.
“We’ll go together.”
We stumbled out of the RV on the passenger side. It was like stepping into Hell.
Countless, lifeless faces stared out at us from the darkness. The only light came from the headlights of the RV and my flashlight.
We clumsily made our way along the side of the RV. The ground was littered with mannequin pieces.
I thought to myself, if we could get a couple yards cleared out behind the rear tires, we might be able to back out and get enough momentum to reverse all the way back out of here.
Instead, when we got to the back of the RV, my stomach flipped and my heart sank.
I was expecting to see a trail of flattened mannequins, instead the RV was now surrounded by thousands of perfectly intact mannequins standing at attention. As if their ranks had some how been replenished after our vehicular assault.
“This is impossible.”
She started to cry. I held her close.
“We’ll keep moving.” I said.
“It will never end. The tunnel makes no sense. It only curves one direction.”
I looked at her.
“What do you mean?”
“This whole time the tunnel has only been curving to the right. it would sometimes straighten out or go left for a few yards but before too long we were curving to the right again. We’ve either been driving in circles or spiraling downwards.”
“So we’ll go back the way we came and hope we’re not going in circles.” I said.
We had been driving for hours at this point. Walking back out the way we came would take days. But now that I thought about it, Mia was right, we’d only been curving to the right.
This tunnel seemed to be very gradually taking us downwards into the earth.
Going forward would not get us any closer to escape.
“We’ll need food from the RV,” Mia said.
I nodded and we stumbled our way back to the front of the RV, the mannequins’ lifeless faces watching us the whole time.
I stepped up to the passenger door and nearly fell back when I looked through the window.
“What the fuck?” I breathed.
What I saw were two mannequins sitting in the driver’s and passenger’s seat.
How they got in there? I have no idea, but what really made my blood run cold was that they were dressed EXACTLY like MIA and I.
They wore identical sets of clothes. The one in the passenger seat had my same New Order T-shirt and black jeans. The one in the driver’s seat had Mia’s green striped sweater and denim shorts.
Their plastic faces stared out through the shattered windshield at the endless crowd of mannequins staring back at them.
Mia stepped up and saw the uncanny display.
“What the fuck?” Mia echoed.
I pulled myself up into the RV and slowly stepped around my mannequin doppelgänger. I avoided looking into its face but I swear i could feel it watching me as I stumbled around it.
Mia followed and we made our way into the back of our dark RV. Luckily we had just stocked our cooler full of deli meat and water not long after crossing the Colorado state line.
I handed Mia the flashlight and pulled open the cooler. I filled a backpack full of food and water.
I turned and saw them–
My mannequin double had somehow moved. It was standing in the aisle watching us.
Mia’s doppelgänger was still seated in the driver’s seat but had turned to peer back at us with its eyeless gaze.
Mia saw the look in my eyes and turned. She screamed when she saw them and backed into me. I put my arm around her and we stood there a moment, letting our skyrocketing heart rates return to Earth.
“Let’s get out of here,” I said.
I slid the backpack onto my shoulders.
Mia joined me at the door. I looked into her eyes. “Are you ready?” She nodded. I kissed her.
“I love you,” I said.
“I love you,” she said.
The look on her face killed me. She was terrified. I’m sure the look on my face was similar.
I opened the door and we stepped out…
We again stumbled to the back of the RV. Once we were clear of the RV and all the crushed mannequin body parts, it became easier to find footing, though weaving through an endless crowd of lifeless people was a slow process.
It was pitch black. Without the flashlight we wouldn’t be able to see a foot in front of us.
As I walked, the beam of light created the illusion of movement in the crowd. At least I hoped it was an illusion.
The limbs of the mannequins seemed to stretch and turn, but the only sound was that of Mia and I shuffling our way through the crowded tunnel.
Things went on like this for what felt like hours. Mia and I were sweating and aching. I was about to suggest we stop and rest, but then I saw it and I froze…
Out in the crowd, beyond rows of blank faces I saw a pale face, black hair and a dead smile.
I saw two vacuous eyes staring right at me.
“Mia, do you see her?” I whispered.
“See who?”
I slowly raised my arm and pointed.
It was the woman, or whatever it was, that stared back at me through the skylight on the roof of the RV.
“Oh my god!” Mia squeaked.
I could see now that the Pale Faced Woman was tall. A few inches taller than the mannequins.
As I pointed, she stared back at me with that terrible grin.
“What do we do?” Mia whispered.
I raised the flashlight and pointed it right at the Pale Faced Woman. I thought maybe this would scare her off.
I was wrong.
The light only made her appear more unsettling as she stared back, unflinchingly.
“What do you want?!” I yelled.
She only stared back at me. She was as still as the mannequins.
“We have to keep going.” I whispered.
Mia didn’t respond. Her body was tense as she held onto me.
“We’ve come this far, we can’t turn back again,” I continued.
I pulled Mia’s hand and we continued on our way through the mannequins, keeping the distance between us and her as wide as possible.
As we moved past, she kept watching us. Though her movements were imperceptible to us, her eyes never left us. Like one of those portraits whose eyes appear to watch you no matter where you stand.
Finally, we got far enough that she was out of sight. But the thought of her being somewhere behind us only unsettled me further and I quickened our pace.
As the hours wore on, there was no sign of the Pale Faced Woman and the crowd of mannequins began to thin out. They still populated the tunnel from one end to the other, but there was more space between them, allowing Mia and I to walk more freely.
The mannequins on the maintenance walkway on the side of the tunnel seemed to thin out as well and I decided it would give us a better vantage if we were walking up there.
I helped Mia climb up the railing that bordered the walkway, then I climbed up behind her. The walkway was elevated 3 or 4 feet above the roadway. We could easily see over the heads of the mannequins in both directions.
There was, of course, no end to the tunnel in sight.
We kept walking.
The mannequins continued to thin out, but they were different now.
There were mannequins dressed as maintenance workers again, but also mannequins dressed as families and businessmen. There was even a group of mannequin nuns standing in a single file line, heads bowed in prayer.
Needless to say, we passed none of this on the way in to the tunnel. I was feeling very hopeless that we were going to be able to find our way out.
I was far beyond speculating how this was at all possible. It’s NOT possible. And even if it were, there is no good reason for someone to do this to us.
The only explanation was the supernatural. Then I saw Her. Rather, I saw THEM.
Arranged in the middle of the tunnel was a circle of mannequins with long black hair and tattered cloth.
They looked exactly like the Pale Faced Woman, minus any facial features. I kept a close watch on them as we passed to make sure they didn’t start following us.
“A door!” Mia shouted.
Mia pointed a few paces ahead of her. There was a door leading into the wall of the tunnel.
We ran towards it. Mia grabbed the handle, turned it and pulled. It was heavy and Mia had to brace her foot on the wall to get it moving.
The metal door groaned as if it hadn’t been opened in years.
Finally, it was open enough to see past.
It was a hallway. It went out about 5 yards then turned right at a 90 degree angle.
The strangest part was the design of the hallway.
It wasn’t cement or pavement like the tunnel.
The walls were wood paneled and the floor was covered in a thick carpet, like a house from the 1970s.
“I say we see where this takes us.” Mia said.
There was no reason to disagree, but I wasn’t going to get us trapped in there.
I opened up my backpack and took out a water bottle. I opened it and handed it to Mia. She drank half, then I drank the other half.
I slowly closed the door, shoving the empty water bottle in the crack to keep it from closing all the way.
I turned to Mia-- “Okay, let’s go.”
We slowly made our way down the quiet hallway. We got down to where the hallway cornered to the right and that’s when we heard it–
KA-CHUNK!!!--
I whipped around. The door had closed behind us. I ran back to it and tried to push it open, but it was no use. There was no way it closed on its own.
Someone had to have removed the water bottle. Our path had been chosen for us.
There was no turning back.
We continued down the hallway. We turned right. The hallway continued, then turned right again. That should have led us right back to the tunnel. But it didn’t. This part of the hallway went on far longer than was possible without running into the tunnel. Then it turned right again.
It went on like this. Sometimes a section of the hallway was 20 feet long, sometimes it was 20 yards long, sometimes it was 3 feet long. But it always turned to the right.
At first it was a relief to be somewhere other than the cold, dark tunnel. But the hallway very quickly became claustrophobic and before too long, I heard someone walking behind us.
We had stopped to take a break and I heard a third pair of footsteps on the carpet coming from behind us. I backtracked to the last corner.
I was terrified as I slowly peeked around the corner, tense and waiting to see the vacuous eyes and inky black hair of the Pale Faced Woman... but there was nothing there. I wasn’t about to backtrack any further.
“There was no one there.” I whispered.
Mia slumped against the wall and slid down to the carpet.
“I think I need to rest.” She said.
I put my backpack down on the ground for Mia to use as a pillow. She laid her head down and was passed out in seconds.
I had no idea how long we had been walking at this point. I stood leaning against the wall. My body was telling me to rest but I couldn’t risk falling asleep. I had to keep watch. I knew SHE was following us.
I took in the details of the hallway for the first time. The carpet was a dull brown and the walls a cheap wood paneling. The hanging lighting fixtures were shaded by stained glass, something you might see in an old diner.
Who built this place? Did someone pick out the carpet and the lighting fixtures? Did a team of workers blast these tunnels into the Earth? Or has this place always existed? Was this Purgatory?
I began to feel dizzy. I was panicking. My heart felt like it was trying to escape my chest. I slumped to the floor and tried to slow my breathing.
I closed my eyes... –
I SHOT up in a panic. I had fallen asleep while I was meant to be keeping watch.
I snapped to my feet and looked around.
Mia was still asleep on my backpack.
Then I noticed that the hallway had changed. A few paces away there was now a plain wooden door in the wall.
I slowly approached it. I put my ear to the door and I could hear what sounded like TV static and the low murmur of voices.
I discreetly grabbed the door handle and turned it slowly. I felt the latch bolt clear and I carefully cracked the door just enough to peek inside.
It was dark, so it took a second for me to register what I was seeing. I saw a small board room. A long table in the center was surrounded by seated men in suits.
At the end of the table stood another man next to an old CRT TV that was playing static. This was the only source of light in the room and all the men around the table were turned towards the tv.
Suddenly the screen flickered from static to a solid dark background. And some warped new age style muzak began playing.
Then the words appeared on the screen that terrified me like nothing else before. In plain text the words read–
“YOU WILL LOSE HER.”
I froze as I knew these words were meant for me I watched with terror as the men seated around the table slowly turned toward me in unison.
They were mannequins.
The TV screen then clicked off and they continued staring at me as I could barely make out their forms through the near pitch darkness.
I quickly pulled the door shut. And whipped around to look at Mia, I had a horrible feeling of dread that when I turned around she would be gone, like the message on the TV promised–
“Eric? What are you doing?” Mia was leaning up and staring at me.
Thank God. There was Mia, right where I left her.
I pointed at the door and said, “This door appeared and I--”
“What door?” she interrupted.
I turned and sure enough, the door was now gone.
I explained what happened to her, but I left out the message that appeared on the screen.
-- YOU WILL LOSE HER –
Those words still burned in my brain. I tried to force them out.
We drank water, ate granola and then got moving again.
Hallways. Endless hallways.
After a couple hours of walking we started to hear music. There were small speakers in the corners of the ceiling.
I recognized it as the same new-age muzak that played on the TV in the board room. The melody drilled into our minds. Combined with the dull aesthetics of the quiet hallways and the endless right turns, the music had a hypnotizing effect.
The lengths of the halls became more uniform. That is to say, the straight section of hallway was about 7 paces, then a right turn, then 7 paces and a right turn.
“I think we’re walking in circles... or a square,” Mia said.
I looked at her and took out a bottle of water. I peeled off the plastic label and dropped it on the floor.
Then we kept walking.
7 paces, right turn. 7 paces, right turn. 7 paces, right turn. And there it was... Mia was right.
The label from my water bottle lay in the middle of the hallway. Somehow we had been led into a loop. I lost it.
“FUUUCK!”
I kicked the wall repeatedly and screamed. Mia just leaned her back against the wall.
This was our dynamic. If one of us lost it, the other became zen and thought of a solution. More often than not, I was the one to lose it.
I finally stopped freaking out
“There has to be a way out. A door,” Mia said.
“We would have seen it,” I replied.
“A hidden door,” she said.
She turned around and ran her hands along the cracks of the wood paneling.
“Most likely on the outer wall,” she said.
She beat her fist on the wall, listening for a change in the sound. I exhaled heavily, sweating and tired, and I started searching the wall as well.
We checked the whole first wall, nothing. We checked the second wall, nothing. The third, nothing.
The final wall... Nothing. I gave up and slumped on the floor. Mia immediately went over to the other side of the hall and started checking the inner wall.
“What are you doing? I thought you said it would be on the outer wall?” I asked.
Then we heard it.
Mia beat the wall and instead of the dead thud, we heard a resonate BOOM –
A door…
I shot up and started tapping the wall with Mia until we found where the door ended. It was the width of about 4 wooden panels. I lined myself up in the center, lowered my shoulder and pushed–
IT MOVED! It barely moved but it was enough to confirm this actually was a door! I re-centered and tried again, lowering my center of gravity, I pushed as hard as I could. The door pushed inward about 3 inches, then Mia joined in. We slowly moved the door, 5 inches, then 10, then 15, then 20.
Then Mia slipped inside.
I had a moment of panic as she disappeared into the darkness and those haunting words came back into my mind, “YOU WILL LOSE HER.”
I darted past the doorway, falling through the threshold and hitting the concrete floor.
I looked up and there was Mia, thank God. I promised myself I’d never let her out of my sight again.
“The exit...” Mia said.
She looked and sounded as if she were a thousand miles away. I got to my feet and followed her gaze. What I saw nearly brought me to tears.
We were back in the tunnel, but there was light. About a mile down was the mouth of the tunnel, and daylight pouring in. Beautiful daylight. I grabbed Mia tight and kissed her.
“Thank God...” she cried.
We started moving. Nothing was going to slow us down this time. We sped up into a RUN down the maintenance walkway towards that beautiful sunlight.
As we approached, something else came into view. Parked in the middle of the roadway was a large vehicle…
It couldn’t be…
It was!
Our RV sat in the road waiting for us. We ran all the way to it, pulled open the passenger side door and climbed in. There were no mannequins to be seen.
I fell into the driver’s seat and Mia handed me the keys. I turned over the engine, the most beautiful sound I’d ever heard. I shifted into gear and floored it towards the sunlight.
As we got closer, I could see the green of trees and the blue of the sky. We were maybe one hundred yards away.
I turned to Mia, tears in my eyes…
And what I saw turned my blood to ice.
Just beyond Mia’s window, that horrifying pale face grinned at me.
The Pale Faced Woman was somehow floating outside of the RV.
Before I could say anything, her hand smashed through the window and gripped Mia by the throat, then in one horrible motion the thing PULLED MIA SCREAMING THROUGH THE WINDOW AND…
Disappeared…
I SLAMMED on the breaks just as the RV passed through the exit of the tunnel and sunlight flooded the cab of the RV. I threw it in park and shot out of the door screaming.
“Mia!? Mia??!!”
I screamed over and over. I rounded the front of the RV and looked back at the tunnel –
-- and what I saw shattered my mind…
The tunnel was gone.
There was only open road.
I had lost her.

For context, I currently have a gtx 1070, a ryzen 5600x, 32gb ram and a CS650M power supply. Price isn't a concern per say, I'm more looking for the best bang for my buck in terms of performance, without going to an extreme. I understand the pc part game, newer cards will have substantial additions, paired up with ridiculous price increases. So more than anything, I'm wondering what RTX card is: 1. Able to run high end games incredibly effectively, as in hardly any frame drops, very high frame rates, ray tracing, and higher resolutions. And 2. Which graphics card lies on the border of being great, but not overkill, if there is one? The games I'm aiming to run smoothly are things like cyberpunk, Hellblade 2, Baldur's gate 3. Pretty much I need a card that's all purpose, it can run anything. Hopefully that's enough detail, would love to hear which one I should look at getting. And if there's any parts that i've listed that might need upgrading to accompany the new graphics card, let me know that as well.

So i'm currently running a GTX 1060 6GB with 1080p triple monitors. Mainly used for sim racing so high graphics is not the end of the world.
Its been good for the most part hitting 40-60 frames on most racing games however I've started to delve into VR and some more demanding games and the 1060 is at its limits.
I am now undecided between a used 1080-ti or a 4060 which seems at the time of writing to be not much more expensive.
My one worry is CPU bottlenecking. Which ill be honest i don't have a clue about but i've heard people mentioning it. I have an i7-7700 3.6ghz
If it helps, also running 16gb ram.
My worries would be a new RTX being held back by a PC that's quite old now where as a GTX might be more fitting with whats already in the PC
Again, not a pc expert by any means so i could be talking rubbish.
Thanks for any help :)

Hi all! First off, so glad this sub reddit exists because it was a life saver when I was making decisions on my own ACLr and knowing what to expect from surgery. I'm a 2x cancer surviver, Paramedic, Rugby player, and now have been a caregiver to my partner who just celebrated 3 months from her own ACLr. I collected a bunch of advice and tips and tricks that I have used both during cancer treatment, my own experience with ACLr, and now through care taking my partner through hers. I know there have been guides before, but mine is a bit different and aimed at caregivers so I thought I'd post it here since ya'll helped me so much instead of it just circulating the rugby community every time a teammate or friend has to have ACLr or some other reconstruction. Hope it's allowed and helps!
A Cancer Patients Guide To Knee Reconstruction Recovery
A Comprehensive Guide To Surviving and Thriving In the Pre and Post-op Period Built From The Perspective of Caretaker and Patient.
Before The Date
__/__/____

Preparation

It is important to adequately prepare for surgery in the weeks and days leading up to the procedure. A significant period of immobility and reliance on support can be expected immediately post-op and will vary by procedure and personal experience. Physical modification of living space and thorough preparation allows for the immediate post-op period to be free of emergency store runs and the small inconveniences that can add up to big frustration. Not having food and drink nearby as well as other essentials may be a small deal now, but can turn into a big deal when you can no longer get those things for yourself. While physical preparation (home modifications, adaptive tools, meal prepping, etc.) are important, mental preparation is crucial to the long term success of the repair. Making small, achievable goals in the immediate post-op period and maintaining a long sighted view of recovery will make the pain and immobility that is initially experienced more bearable. Additionally, social support through a partner, family members, or friends is an essential part of recovery, as is maintaining contact with sports teams or other social groups during rehabilitation.

General PEARLs

• Pre-surgical rehab is an essential part of recovery and can improve immediate outcome so if it is a resource available to you- use it!
• Learn the basics of your procedure such as reconstruction technique, graft type, surgeons recovery timeline, where you will do your rehab, and what you should expect going into and coming out of surgery. Knowledge is power and can give a sense of control and set reasonable expectations in a situation that is otherwise out of your control.
• Seek out positive experiences and recovery stories from other people who have had your procedure and gather as much advice as possible from resources such as ACL. Know that some people will have negative experiences, everyone is an individual, and that much of your long term recovery is in your control.
• Expect and learn to advocate for yourself or the person you are taking care of. Be vocal and honest with any needs you may have and understand that issues may come up in the immediate post-operative time that you as a patient or caregiver may have to contact your surgeon to resolve. Familiarize yourself with who to call and when *before* you leave after surgery, as well as being quick to call with any questions or problems that arise. It is better to be told that what you are experiencing is normal than to sit with the anxiety of the unknown.
• Create a folder with all relevant information: Surgeons name, procedure information, follow-up appointment dates and times, phone numbers, emergency contacts, facility of choice in an emergency situation, and any other important information. Maintain this folder throughout your recovery and add paperwork as it comes.

Days Leading Up To Surgery

• Contact support people and confirm any arrangements that have been made including but not limited to: Who is taking you to/from surgery, child or pet care, transportation to first PT appointments, meals, etc.
• Recommended Items we found essential:
  • Ice Machine (Polarcube, etc) if at all possible
    • Recommend checking facebook marketplace or other second hand options, as they cost hundreds new but can be found for $40 or so used.
    • Studies have shown these do actually reduce pain and lend to earlier mobilisation and our experience has shown this to be essential not just immediately post-op but in the weeks and months afterwards so if you *can* obtain one you absolutely should.
  • Large sweatshirt and oversized shorts for surgery day, especially if you wear a bra, as putting clothes on after surgery can be a struggle and it’s easiest to just throw on a sweatshirt and shorts that fit over your post-op bandages and brace.
    • In particular, we found a blanket hoodie to be very useful both for going home and the first few days as it could stay on when moving around/when napping.
  • Neck Pillow
    • Helps with reading or other activities during long hours spent in bed or on the couch and really helped in the first two days to prevent neck strain and provide head positioning during napping.
  • Large pillows for body positioning and elevation of the leg
    • We found cheap, giant, dog beds from places like TJ Max or Marshalls to be more affordable than specialty products
    • A large, thin, dog bed (or blanket) rolled into a tube and secured with stretch bandage or tape around the surgical leg and brace helped significantly with comfort during sleep so that the leg was padded, comfortable, and the other leg didn’t get roughed up from the brace.
  • A shower chair
    • Can be found used at second hand stores like Goodwill, or cheap online
    • Easy substitute is a chair covered in a trash bag
    • Allowed showering the second day post-op which was a huge mental boost and relieved physical discomfort and achy muscles
  • Extra large leg cast cover
    • Can be found cheap online
    • Placed around outside of brace covering the entire leg initially, we then found it easier to place on the leg and place the brace outside of the cover for the remaining healing period for the incisions: We did this after the first PT appointment when it was safe to take off the brace for short periods while laying down. We acquired a second post op brace from a friend (you can find on eBay for cheap) and it was amazing to have, as we could let it dry after showering and immediately put her post op brace back on.
  • Foldable stool
    • Great for elevating the leg during transfers, while on the toilet, etc.
  • Lap Desk
    • Great for eating on the couch or in bed, but we also found it useful as a side table for holding drinks/meds/remotes/books that could be taken to whatever room they landed in at the time
    • A small table works as well, really just anything that can be used to set things on within arms reach
  • Assortment of sodas, water, seltzers, snacks, etc.
    • There is no way to know what you will want and when, but when you want it it’s nice to *have* it available
    • Appetite often decreases after surgery so make sure to have favourites on hand so that when you *are* hungry you have it immediately before your body changes its mind
  • A big bucket
    • We used a soft plastic beach type bucket from the dollar store, it was extremely useful to have to put small items in, a small towel, a spare water bottle, extra meds, baby wipes, etc.
    • Also doubled as an emergency puke bucket, as you never know when a sudden bout of nausea might hit in the first day or two after surgery
  • Extra reusable ice packs and bags of ice
    • Your home ice maker will not be able to keep up with the demands of constant icing the first week or so
    • Reusable ones are great for ‘hot spots’ and short trips where you can’t take the ice machine
  • Extra steri-strips and assortment of bandages
    • Sometimes there’s extra leakage, sometimes your steri-strips come off and you need to slap a new one on, sometimes you’re allergic to the ones they put on you at the hospital. Always consult a medical professional, but it’s handy to have these on hand just in case.
    • We also used a bulky padded bandaid to keep the brace off the healing incisions once the large post-op dressing was taken off which helped immensely.
  • Compression sleeves
    • Aside from helping with swelling these also provided a layer of protection under the post-op brace
    • We found cheap ones at Wal-Mart (copper brand) but also just bought a cheap pair of leggings a size down and cut off one of the legs to use before getting a more expensive one once swelling had fully subsided after a few weeks. Your leg will change so cheap works great at first, then you can get something a bit more substantial when you know what you’ll need long term. Now she wears high compression socks to sleep 3 months out.
  • Slide on shoes
    • Self explanatory, bending down to put on shoes becomes a chore after surgery. Avoid flip flops or other styles that can become a trip hazard.
  • Baby Wipes/Dude Wipes/etc.
    • Wiping down after you get home from surgery can help prevent that icky feeling and restore some sense of normalcy, then can be used over the next few days before you can shower more normally
  • Lotion and chapstick
    • Hospitals dry out your skin big time, and lips are often cracked post surgery from intubation/LMA placement
  • Small, easily labelled tupperware containers
    • Regular pill containers are too small to hold pain meds, OTC pain meds, anticoagulants such as aspirin, supplements, and edibles or other small things you take with your medication. We got small tupperware boxes with lids from the dollar store.
    • We found it very convenient to have six sets of meds set up and labelled with times which meant we never missed doses and could leave the next dose of meds at bedside, take them with us when going to appointments, and keep up with what had been given and when.
  • Small notebook to record med times and other important information
  • Two extra changes of clothes already setup and ready to go
  • Compression device
    • We are athletes so we already had leg compression sleeves but these days off brand versions can be bought online cheap. Studies have shown these lead to reduced pain, increased mobilisation, reduced the chance of blood clots, and there is even some evidence they help with bone healing.
    • We used it 3 days post op and beyond and her range of motion was significantly improved after the first time.
  • A yoga strap
    • Excellent for strapping to the brace and moving the surgical leg
• If possible, pick up post-op medications prior to surgery to prevent any unexpected delay in obtaining them. If this is not possible, verify that the prescription can be filled the day of the surgery by your selected pharmacy and that it has been filled prior to leaving after your surgery. Controlled substances cannot be transferred to another pharmacy without a new prescription sent directly from the provider. You do not want to be trying to get in contact with a physician in the hours after surgery, unable to manage pain, before the pharmacies close for the night.
• Do a thorough clean of your living area, it will make the time after surgery when you cannot independently do normal activities more bearable and a neat organised space is easier to function in when your body is not cooperating. Take special attention to removing tripping hazards and clearing a wide path from wherever you plan to spend your recovery and the bathroom.
• Plan to spend the first couple of days in one spot and on one floor and set up that area the day before surgery. If you have a downstairs bathroom a floor mattress or well setup couch can be your landing pad until you are more mobile and is the easiest during the immediate post-op period. That being said, if you don’t, it’s easier to get upstairs by sliding up on your bum immediately post-op when your pain is still well controlled than realise that you have no bathroom downstairs a few hours later when the pain has started to set in. Wherever you intend to land, plan on staying there at least a couple of days and bring all your supplies to that area. Plan to lay with your surgical leg on the outside of what you are laying on, this makes transferring easier.
• Have your recovery bed setup the day before surgery and prepared for when you return before you leave the day of, including blankets and your supply table setup.
• Meal prep, whether that means cooking or getting easy to make microwave meals is up to you. You won’t feel like cooking and neither will your caretaker the first few days. High protein, easy to eat meals are key! We had chicken and broccoli casserole, egg and sausage frittata, and lots of applesauce the first few days and it was a lifesaver not to have to think about meals.
• Spend some time mentally preparing for the long haul of recovery and make long term plans that fit within your timeline. For example, we planned to attend a rugby game five days after surgery *but* planned nothing else for that day and the next day. We also planned hiking trips the next fall, and other events appropriate for her timeline along the way that could be looked forward to and keep up morale. Remember that this is temporary and that it is okay to be recovering and resting, expect hard moments and days but keep things planned so you don’t get stuck in those down places.
• Eat your favourite meal and eat well the day before surgery. Your body needs fuel to recover and fasting the day of surgery sucks. As weird as it sounds, after multiple surgeries, the pre-surgery night meal of whatever I want is one shiny thing in a crappy situation to hold on to.
• Plan for what you want your first meal to be and consider making a playlist for the ride to and from surgery. Small things, again, help maintain a sense of control and comfort in a situation where you are largely out of control and these things can be done with friends or support people in the days leading up to reduce anxiety and pass time.
• Hit the gym, take a walk, do a hike, visit places or do things you enjoy but won’t be able to do in immediate recovery! We took my partners knee to one last tournament before her surgery, it helped pass time and kept spirits high.

Day Of And Immediate Post-Surgery Phase

• Maintain fasting starting at whatever hour you are told. Some people can drink clear liquids up to a certain point, others are completely nothing by mouth. Your instructions will guide you on this.
• Before leaving home double check that everything is set up how you need it and place a blanket, pillow, drink, and snack of choice in the car. You may or may not need it but if you do it is important to have. Make sure your ice packs are in the freezer ready to go!
• Bring your own post-op snack if you are picky or have food allergies, otherwise you’re stuck with whatever graham cracker and applesauce combo the facility gives you.
• Go with the flow, or as I always say “surrender”. Feel what you feel, have a cry in the car before you go in, listen to your playlist, bring your blanket or other comfort items into pre-op, tell your support person what’s going through your mind, tell your pre-op staff how you’re doing, ask all the questions, and most importantly just do what you have to do. For some people surgery can be overwhelming and the loss of control frightening, but fighting only makes it worse, so whatever you are just be it. I’m pre-op pacer myself, but some people just snuggle up under some warm blankets and wait. Either way, just let the waves take you where they go and know you’re along for the ride. Remember that future you with a healthy joint thanks you for what you’re doing today.
• Speak frankly with your anesthesiologist and utilise any pain control or anxiety control options given to you. There is no award for least meds taken or toughest patient of the day. If a nerve block is available, know that you can request sedation for its placement, and utilise that option if at all possible.
• Caregivers should bring something to keep them entertained and be prepared for a long period without update once surgery has started. Honour your feelings as well, it can be tough to watch someone you care about go through this! Consider having someone to act as a support person for you as well through text or phone, that way you can divert your own worries or struggles to them and away from the person having surgery while still making sure you are also taken care of.
• Make sure that pain is well controlled before leaving after surgery. You have more options there than you will at home and getting things under control once pain has become unbearable can be very difficult.
• Make sure you note when the next dose of medication is due, what medication they should be taking, and write it down.
• Double check contacts from your surgeons office and add any post op paperwork to your folder in case you need the information later.
• If your post-op meal requires picking up, or your prescription, try and do that immediately after leaving surgery even if you are not hungry yet. This is the most comfortable you will be for a while and your support person will be unable to leave for at least that day and night. I have been known to peruse the big gas station after surgery in search of snacks, my partner however simply waved to the nice people at the drive through and napped the rest of the way home before eating some hours later.
• Once you get home crash wherever you plan on spending the rest of the time. Don’t have friends or family over that first day. Just go ahead and sleep through the rest of the anaesthesia and get comfortable.
• Try and keep your home cool, and consider keeping the room dim for the first few hours if not days. Sleep is precious and pain meds can make you hot, and getting hot can lead to nausea. It is better to have the home cool and the person snuggled under blankets and comfortable than be trying to cool someone down who just had surgery and got too hot and is now dizzy, nauseous, and miserable. The least stimulation for the first little while the better, and naps will happen throughout the rest of the day and over the next few days. A cool, dim place lets this happen much easier than a bright, warm place where they might be overstimulated or awakened by noise or activity.
• If allowed, try and activate the quad muscle immediately after returning home and once every few hours by having them squeeze it and feeling for contraction while in the brace. Some people will be able to begin range of motion exercises immediately and if so, make sure to do them as soon as allowed even if that means just helping them by doing gentle manual range of motion movements in the brace.
• If it’s not already on, begin continuous icing as soon as you come out of surgery either by meticulously timing the replacement of ice packs or with the ice machine. Make sure to check the ice machine, replace ice as often as needed, and keep it on *continuously* for the next few days. For us this meant I checked it at every medication dose throughout the night and added ice during that time as well. We went through frozen mini water bottles and bags of ice like crazy the first week.
• Elevate the surgical leg as high as possible, placing support under the heel and calf but not directly under the knee to promote extension and prevent more headaches with gaining range of motion later on.
  • We found that icepacks directly under the knee helped tremendously with the discomfort associated with this.
• Anticipate that bathroom trips will not be fun or easy and take them extremely slow. As a caregiver allow the person to guide you on what they need and don’t need your help with and avoid grabbing or moving someone unexpectedly. Standing, acclimating to being upright, and then proceeding to the bathroom is the best way to do things and rushing will only result in frustration for both of you. A rolling chair or wheelchair can be helpful, but for some people standing up and sitting down is harder than just moving on to the bathroom. Pay attention as a caregiver and know that it is possible they may need your help getting off the toilet or back from the bathroom so be close by and available should that happen. For the first few days do not lock the bathroom door in case of an emergency.
• Place chairs or things to sit on around your path to the bathroom, kitchen, etc. And consider a small backpack or using a rolling chair to carry items around the house.
• Once you know when your next dose is, set alarms for each time your doses are due. If using the med boxes this makes doing meds and keeping track very easy, as they are each labelled with a time and all we had to do was open the box and take the meds instead of finding each bottle and dosing each med individually each time. As the days went on we were able to re-label and time the boxes as needed and remove meds as needed or adapt to what was needed when sleeping or up during the day.
  • For example day 1 would look like:
    • First post-op doses at 4pm box: 250mg tylenol, 10mg oxycodone, 5mg edible.
    • 8pm box: 250mg tylenol, 10mg oxycodone, 800mg ibuprofen, 10mg edible, 12.5mg diphenhydramine (itching and sleep), stool softener, and regular night time meds.
    • Midnight box: 250mg tylenol, 5mg oxycodone, 5mg edible.
    • 4AM: 250mg tylenol, 5mg oxycodone, 800mg ibuprofen, edible (if nauseas or restless).
    • 8AM box (preparing to get up): 250mg tylenol, 10mg oxycodone, 5mg edible, aspirin, stool softener, normal morning meds.
    • 12pm: 250mg tylenol, 10mg oxycodone, 5mg edible, 800mg ibuprofen.
    • Repeated on time, reducing pain med dose as tolerable, and refilling boxes 1x a day.
• If possible do scheduled tylenol (paracetamol) and ibuprofen (or another NSAID), alternating them on the dosing schedule, and take them religiously even through the night. This also goes for additional pain medications, which you will also need to wake to take through the night if you are prescribed for at least the first night.
• Staying on schedule might mean waking up in the night, but it’s better to be awoken to take meds than to wake up in pain and spend several hours trying to get it under control. You may find you seldom need them if your nerve block is in place, or you may just not need very much at all during your recovery. It is easier to trial run this after the first day by stretching out the time between doses from 4 to 6 to 8 and then potentially off entirely, but everyone will have their preferences.
• Eat a small snack with every med dose and keep emergency meds (extra pain med doses, nausea meds, etc.) at bedside as well as the next set of meds due so they can be taken when it is time.
• We found that edibles were a great addition to pain and nausea control after surgery. There are medication options available and having at least one option for nausea is advisable for the first few days after surgery when anaesthesia and medication can really make you want to puke.
• Expect absolutely nothing in the first few days post-op. Some people will feel well enough to move around, others will not be able to do anything but get up to use the bathroom. Expecting nothing is better than expecting more and being disappointed or frustrated. I would highly suggest not making plans until your first follow up 7 or so days after surgery.
• Be obsessive about icing, meds, any PT you have been given, and keeping track of appointments. Give yourself the best start to your recovery that you can and you will thank yourself later!

So I've put together the following build over the last few weeks:

The Build

PCPartPicker Part List

• The 4TB HDD and the 2TB SSD will be carried over from my current PC.

Some Notes

• I want to build a new PC that can last me for the next couple of years (my current PC was built in late 2019 and I think its time for an upgrade)
• My monitors resolution is 1440p but I still chose a 4080 Super to have some headroom as well as high FPS in games. Also, that way I have the option to upgrade to 4k if I want to in the future.
• I want this build to run pretty much every game I throw at it at great settings, which it should.
• I picked the CPU and RAM because I want to play a lot of Star Citizen and Microsoft Flight Simulator on this build. Those two games, especially the former, require a lot of CPU power.
• I plan to undervolt/optimize the CPU and GPU. (Any tipps on that are appreciated)
• I'll only buy that specific AIO if I can get it for that price. It's discounted at the moment. Also I don't like the way Air Coolers look, hence I chose an AIO in the first place, even tho an 7800x3d doesn't need one.
• The extra Fans and Cables are for aesthetics only and I know that I could save money by leaving those out.

Thoughts?

• I want to get some opinions on this build. Is it good for my specific use case? Is there anything I cheaped out on or could save some money on? (I live in Germany btw)
• Also if you know anything I should pay attention to while building this PC, then let me know. I did pay attention to the Notes that PC Part Picker gave me.
• Also do you think that this build makes sense to get at this time?

So i'm currently running a GTX 1060 6GB with 1080p triple monitors. Mainly used for sim racing so high graphics is not the end of the world.
Its been good for the most part hitting 40-60 frames on most racing games however I've started to delve into VR and some more demanding games and the 1060 is at its limits.
I am now undecided between a used 1080-ti or a 4060 which seems at the time of writing to be not much more expensive.
My one worry is CPU bottlenecking. Which i'll be honest i don't have a clue about but i've heard people mentioning it. I have an i7-7700 3.6ghz
If it helps, also running 16gb ram.
My worries would be a new RTX being held back by a PC that's quite old now where as a GTX might be more fitting with whats already in the PC
Again, not a pc expert by any means so i could be talking rubbish.
Thanks for any help :)

Essentially, my dad told me I couldn't borrow the car he's planning on selling because he fears I'll "devalue" it. I currently drive a '93 Toyota Camry that is heinously damaged, as someone rear-ended me going very fast the literal day I bought it. The damage is so extensive that half the doors won't open from frame damage. I didn't bother filing a claim, the person who hit me was uninsured and I didn't have uninsured motorist coverage. Before I continue, I do need to mention my track record with cars isn't great. I've had some accidents over the course of my 15-ish year driving career; never any major ones thank god but a couple fender benders and I hit a pole once (I was 19.)
So, my dad accidentally ended up with two cars. He needed a specific part that only the dealer could get and they were taking forever to get it from overseas. At the six month mark he gave up and bought a new (used) car because it was a good deal, etc. After over a year and a half they finally got the part and fixed it, but right before his big move to Amsterdam.
He didn't have time to sell it before leaving and its currently sitting in the driveway doing nothing. I floated the idea that I take out full coverage on it, pay for the insurance myself, and borrow it while he's gone. Doing so would allow me to get a better job due to reliable transportation (which I do not currently have) and, in turn, allow me to save money to buy a car of my own. And perhaps more importantly, get me out of a car that is objectively unsafe.
He said no, he didn't want me to "devalue" the car. I asked by what metric and he said, well even if insurance covers whatever damage it'll still be considered an incident and I won't be able to get as much at auction. Which is, of course, assuming I incur any damage at all while I have it.
A very close friend of mine was recently in a horrific car accident and is extremely lucky to be alive, even though she was driving a newer car with high safety ratings. I mentioned this to my dad, inferring that if the tables were turned and I was in that accident driving the Camry, I most likely would not have been so lucky. He shrugged his shoulders and said, well the chances are slim that you'd get in an accident, so you driving a safe vehicle is inconsequential to me.
Wait a minute, first I'm not allowed to drive the car due to fear of being in an accident and it being devalued. Now I'm not allowed to drive the objectively safer car because chances are I wont be in an accident and driving a safe vehicle is useless. How does that make any sense?
After a heated debate I said to him, ok Dad lets play devil's advocate here. Let's say I'm in an accident that requires a decent amount of work. How much would that devalue the car, exactly? A few hundred, couple thousand, maybe? That's the amount of money you're hypothetically afraid of losing in a hypothetical situation? Is that what my life, my safety is worth to you? You care more about money than keeping me safe?
I told him it felt like he was putting a price on my life, and it hurt my feelings. He told me to stop being such a drama queen and continue driving the death trap.
AITA for feeling like my dad put a price on my life? AITA for saying so? AITA for asking to borrow the car to begin with? AITA for being upset that he won't let me?

To the Board of Directors, Advisory Board, and Instructors at the Global Center for Religious Research:
When I first came across an advertisement for the Global Center for Religious Research’s courses, I got excited, especially because the instructors weren’t all old white guys like me. I wanted to get a broad range of experiences. I intended not only to sign up for the courses, but to see whether or not I might be able to offer courses through GCRR in the future. I pictured a future in which I would have a whole new set of colleagues who, like me, treat clients who have experienced religious trauma.
Before buying anything, I decided to join the “Religious Trauma Studies” Facebook group that GCRR is running. It took me less than an hour to become very concerned about the behavior of GCRR and its leader, Darren Slade.
While GCRR’s advertisements give the impression of professionalism and research, Slade himself is traumatizing and even harassing his/your own customers. Do you not see it? Best case scenario: he’ll keep embarrassing you. Worst case scenario: someone (especially if you ever have employees) is going to sue you. If he publicly treats his customers with this much contempt, how will he treat his employees, if he ever gets this business off the ground?
To illustrate, I am attaching several documents printed (customer names redacted) from the GCRR’s “Religious Trauma Studies” Facebook group. It’s messy, but you can go look up the Facebook group and find the originals.

• In his comments, Darren Slade keeps referring to “We”, as in “here’s how we do things around here”. He has a lot of people listed on his website as his “International Advisory Board” and as instructors of his courses. Did you all get together and advise him to be this condescending and hostile to your own customers? Do you want him to talk to women with this much contempt?
• He expresses pride several times about the fact that this group is “not a safe space”. IN A GROUP ABOUT TRAUMA??!
• Maybe you think this is fine, because everyone is offensive on the Internet? But if "the boss" at any company in America tacked any one of these memes or notes to an office bulletin board, each one would be an instant, valid complaint to the Human Resources department. And Darren Slade’s replies to the complaints would warrant another complaint. When his/your customers complain on Facebook, he rolls his eyes and tells them that he’s not responsible for their “triggers”. If he talks to his customers this way, how will he talk to his subordinates in the future? Especially young women subordinates? Do you see him expressing any respect here, for anyone, especially if they don’t agree with him?
• He refers to himself and the entire GCRR repeatedly as “inappropriate”, “unprofessional” “offensive”, and even “creepy”, and he says "we" like it that way. Do you like being represented that way? Are you part of this, or is this guy a runaway ego train?
• Some of you are trained as therapists. I'm a retired psychologist. You know that the following behaviors are cause for concern in anyone who is promoting himself as the leader of any kind of group. You'll find several examples of each of these circled in the attached document:
  • Slade sees himself as both the hero and the victim in every story he tells. He talks a lot about the death threats he has supposedly receives.
  • Regularly expresses condescension, contempt, and hostility toward his own customers, especially women. If a woman points out that he's being sexist, he claims that she is being sexist against him.
  • Constantly talks about his Ph.D. Most of my colleagues put “PhD” after their names and leave it at that… but this guy? This guy needs to mention his PhD at least a couple times a week.
  • Makes sexually demeaning/harassing comments to women if they disagree with him (see the “Google Complaint” document), tries to get the whole community to join him in this, and then gets even more condescending and contemptuous if a woman customer complains. He sees accusations of sexism against him as being unfair accusations leveled at him “because he identifies as ‘male’”
  • When people try to help him not be a jackass, he just turns up the hostility and tells them to leave if they don't like it.
  • Repeatedly fails to show empathy, especially with anyone who disagrees with him.
  • Presents a professional face to the world (GCRR ads), but behind closed doors is abusive and inflammatory.

If you’re a therapist, do you not see how much credibility you lose by associating yourself with an organization that mocks your own therapy clients for being triggered and having feelings? And Slade's approach isn't just annoying or unprofessional, it’s aggressive. Surely you can see what I’m talking about? Why are you supporting this guy?
At one point in the attached document (while accusing a woman of being sexist against him for saying he's being sexist), Slade even claims that men are constantly discriminated against just for speaking, and that "oppression and marginalization cut both ways". (About 1/3 of the way down page 3). You are all experts in religious trauma, and I first became interested in GCRR's courses because I saw some women and people of color among the instructors and advisors. Do you, as a group, actually believe that "oppression and marginalization cuts both ways"? Do you believe that racism, sexism, and homophobia oppress and marginalize straight white men just as much as people of color, women, and LGBT people? If so, I'll be warning people away from your whole organization.
Our job is to help people put an end to this kind of abuse, not to perpetuate it. Our job is to help people to recover from their traumas, not inflict more trauma, and certainly not to belittle them for speaking up.
If I had gotten involved without checking out how Slade treats his customers, I'd be embarrassed now, so I'm taking the time to give you the professional heads-up that I would want were I in your shoes.
https://drive.google.com/file/d/128aqrYsIlbCBLcWfAiYu6JdaDeZ_1Ouo/view?usp=sharing

Probably go w 2x32GB Ram I originally bought 4x48 I’m new to building 1st build since my first build in like 2002
Possibly case swap to Cooler Master C700M gotta find a box to ship the 4000d back to Amazon in 😂
Use: Running adobe apps, video editor, web dev, marketing and inventory system +playing games when free
PCPartPicker Part List: https://pcpartpicker.com/list/sHxRPF
CPU: Intel Core i9-14900K 3.2 GHz 24-Core Processor CPU Cooler: Lian Li Galahad II Trinity SL-INF 61.3 CFM Liquid CPU Cooler Motherboard: MSI PRO Z790-A WIFI ATX LGA1700 Motherboard Memory: G.Skill Trident Z5 RGB 96 GB (2 x 48 GB) DDR5-6800 CL34 Memory Storage: Samsung 990 Pro 2 TB M.2-2280 PCIe 4.0 X4 NVME Solid State Drive Video Card: Asus TUF Gaming OG OC GeForce RTX 4090 24 GB Video Card Case: Corsair 4000D Airflow ATX Mid Tower Case Power Supply: EVGA SuperNOVA 1300 GT 1300 W 80+ Gold Certified Fully Modular ATX Power Supply
Case Fan: Lian Li Uni Fan SL-Infinity 61.3 CFM 120 mm Fan Case Fan: Lian Li Uni Fan SL-Infinity 72.7 CFM 140 mm Fan Case Fan: Lian Li Uni Fan SL-Infinity 72.7 CFM 140 mm Fan

Hello, here I am once again! First ever Fan-Fic.
Last week I opened a poll about the type of Fan-Fic I should write (or try to), and after a good 4 days I took a look at said poll, and the overwhelming majority went for Option 2. And so I shall try my hardest to deliver, and give you all a story about Humanity entering on the Galactic stage later and being more prepared for eventual hostile encounters, and acting as such.
Let's see what I can cook up in my tired state- Some creative liberties are to be expected.
Still thinking of a Title- but this is the one I came up with.
... Also consider this a proof of concept for now, a WIP if you will, as I'm still new to writing (and not a native English speaker either) and wanting to learn as much as possible while writing anything at all- so expect word vomit. Any and all feedback will be welcomed.
Lastly, all love to for having made such an amazing universe.
===---===
Memory Transcription Subject: N/A, AI Communications Unit Terminal, UN-HQ.
Date [Standardized Human Time]: January 1st, 2300, 00:00
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<<00:15, Probe successfully launched. Explore protocol initiated.>>
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Log Update: 01:15
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Log Update: 10:15
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Log Update: 10:35
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Log Update: 10:50
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Memory Transcription Subject: N/A, Terminal Deactivated.
===---===
Memory Transcription Subject: Alan Voor-hein, UN Secretary-General.
Date [Standardized Human Time]: January 1st, 2300, 11:00
It has finally happened. A fellow space-faring civilization has been found, something we thought would happen one day- Never in my 40 years would I have guessed it would happen in my lifetime. But I guess that is the thought process for everyone who are now involved.
I had gotten the first message out of anyone. It was now up to me to head to the HQ and get everything ready for the Emergency meeting. We'll have to "discuss" our next course of action on this situation. And I use the term "discuss" lightly, because there is not a lot to discuss, rather there is much to think about as a potential next step. I'll be having these discussions with our diplomatic and military advisors. Civil advisors will be left out, as to not make the public aware of this discovery ...at least, not yet.
I have an hour to get everything ready... and I still need to travel 20 minutes to get there. Luckily I have my own companion who can be my chauffeur- who is always ready at a moments notice, essentially 24/7.
I was speed-walking.. or speedily descending more like it, down the stairs of my house. ...Don't ask me what I was doing upstairs. My hastiness almost caused me to trip while going down the stairs because I was in a such rush to get outside, I did not have a lot of time on my hands.
After reaching the ground-floor I sped-walked past the kitchen, and I took a second to contemplate about taking a quick bite from a snack, but I decided against it. After-all, I could eat at the HQ... not that I'd have the time too, but at least I could give it a shot if I arrive in time.
As my journey to the front door continued, I was met with a familiar face- namely Heluni. Heluni is my Android companion. Android technology has gotten far over the last few decades, and Androids have become more Human than ever before.
"Good morning Alan!" Heluni spoke up, her voice as smooth as the calmest oceans. I looked towards her, and greeted her in return.
"Morning Heluni- Sorry to be a bother, but I gotta use your driving expertise again today. Emergency UN meeting. It's at 12, but I would like to be there as quickly as possible. Can you do that for me?"
"Of course I can, sir. Right this way." She led the way, opening the front door, waiting on me to follow behind her. I took my place behind her as she led me towards our car that was parked outside. A classic unmarked "not noticeable" vehicle, one everyone knows screams "here is someone important" but no one seems to care about in their daily life.
And like always when walking outside, my mind wandered to the flowing shoulder long hair Heluni has, her hair was always a beautiful sight to behold. How she- an Android- managed to have the hair of a Goddess remains a mystery to me. But I learned to never question our technological prowess.
Before I knew it, I was standing next to the car, Heluni having already taken the drivers seat. I took my seat in the back. And before I even sat down, Heluni look back at me. "Ready sir?"
"Floor it." was the only thing I responded with.. and Heluni took off like it was the end of the world.
... And I'm suddenly reminded why I only used her driving skills in Emergencies. This type of driving is gonna make me sick- but it's to late now, I suppose. I gazed down to my watch, and it's 11:15. If Heluni keeps driving like this, we'll be there in about 10 minutes.
...
I'm just gonna try and keep myself calm, as to not make myself sick with Heluni her driving.
...
We drove through the city towards the UN Headquarters. Heluni was cutting through the traffic wherever she could- you'd think we would get pulled over. But the only reason we never were, was because the only symbol on this car (to at least mark it somewhat) was that the UN symbol was put in place of the car-manufacturer logo. Any officer knew that, if a UN car was speeding like this, there was something going on.
But since I still did not want the public to know about the discovery made earlier today, I'd have to come up with some excuse for this... I think I'll wave it off as a training exercise for my Android.
Noticing that I was rather quiet, Heluni chirped up. "Sir, is everything okay?"
"Hm? .. Oh yeah, just thinking about stuff. Don't worry about it."
"Sir, is it about the upcoming meeting? What is it about?"
"..Heluni, that's confidential information-"
"I know sir, but perhaps.. whatever it will be about, is making you nervous?"
... Am I nervous? I don't think I am- maybe subconsciously I am??
...
"Well, I can say it's something I have never planned on doing."
"Is it bad?" Heluni asked me, trying to inquire more out of me.
"Depends on future circumstances...."
"Will I be allowed to know more about this meeting?"
"One day you will, Heluni. But for now, that's gonna be a negative."
"I understand, Sir."
...
For the rest of our journey, no words were spoken. I was deep in thought again. Like.. what does this mean for my career? I will be the first leader in UN history who may lay the ground-works for an eventual "First Contact" between Humans and an Alien species.
I'm nervous thinking ahead that far, for all we know, they are those type of Alien we have seen in pop-culture. Either fun and loving, or utterly ruthless and genocidal. What would they think of us? ... What will we think of them? Is there a potential for a future war?
We have that last one covered at least. Humans being Humans and all- we already have a decent Space going fleet of roughly 8000 ships of various sizes. ... Just in case a Colony gets any funny ideas with their local security forces. But now knowing we might have to face off against Aliens as well, I think it's about time to ramp up the ship production tenfold.
More importantly, we have to spy on them. Luckily that probe we sent is close to their planet, so we'll just use that for any surveillance and intelligence..
My thoughts were shaken back into reality from plausible scenarios once we took a tight corner a little too fast- but before I could scold Heluni for it, there it was, the UN-HQ in the distance. A few more minutes, and we'll be there.
...
===---===
There we have it! I think I did well in my tired state for this first part. I'll keep looking through the text itself from time to time. So if any feedback, grammar, etc, is thrown my way. I can implement them right away.
I hope this is setting a decent stage for what's to come. Hope you had fun reading this!
For now, Imma chill with some music.

I’m nervous as to whether or not I passed. I studied probably no more than 200-250 hours, if that, and I didn’t go over the ethics material at all. But hear me out.
Took a look at the mock exam, but didn’t really sit down and actually attempt it properly, just skimmed through 2/3’s of the first 90 questions on LES. I did study the make-up of ethics questions for a solid 30 minutes, but this was all the night before the exam so I chose to allocate my time elsewhere, which ended up being a good investment decision.
I have a BBA in Psychology, but have worked at a BrokeDealer since 07/2022, and got my SIE, Series 7, Series 63 out of the way that year, first try. I listen to podcast and have always done additional research on the market/global and domestic economy. Still, a ton of new info in CFA program.
When studying, I didn’t study in preparation for the test. I didn’t really think about the test when studying at all. I just read through the material and tried to learn it the best I could in the way I saw most fit for myself.
I felt very unprepared for the Exam, I only skimmed through 2/3’s of the first 90 question mock, and didn’t read the ethics section at all.
When taking the exam, I felt like it was way easier than expected, and was honestly a little disappointed that it wasn’t harder. I don’t think I crushed it, but I feel there is a very low chance I got <70, feel more like my range is 75 But with how I felt coming into the test, having not slept the night before, only finishing all material (except ethics) just a couple days before, I feel like I could be overconfident or completely missing something. People tell me I’m incredibly smart, and I’ve heard from people who know me that they don’t think I need to study the full 300-350 hrs recommended, but they also don’t know how much shit is on there man, and I don’t think I’m a genius who can just beep boop bop retain everything. I have always been good at math though and do like Poker statistics/probabilities so the quant section was good for me and I made it my mission to understand all the mathematical formulas in the curriculum. This partially extends to ROE and decomposition of, but most other accounting formulas I forgot.
But I understand all underlying concepts well and felt I was able to figure quite a bit of stuff out mid exam.
I did flag the questions I was unsure of. Basically anything I wasn’t absolutely certain about. I didn’t get a chance to go back and look at all the ones I flagged, but if I had to guess, I’d say I ended with 30-40 flagged in part one and about the same for part two. I carefully read each question and was very thorough with each one. Sometimes I spent too long on a question because I was having fun figuring it out, and felt comfortable on many others leading up to that one, which is why I didn’t have time to go back.
Now, this is the fun part. I felt like I was completely unsure on no more than 1/5 of the ones I flagged. I didn’t know those at all. I have a 33% chance of getting those right. The other 4/5ths, I feel like I at least eliminated one answer choice, confidently, giving me at least a 50/50 chance of getting those question right. But out of that 4/5ths, I think at least 1/2, or 2/5ths of the questions I really had some knowledge that pointed me to the right answer out of the two choices I had left, after eliminating the prior. I think this gives me a bit above 50/50 odds, putting me at 67% chance (more or less for some, but ya know, hard to quantify and don’t want to oveunderestimate the advantage given by knowledge).
So, I did the math: a range of 60 unsure questions to 80 unsure (30part1+30part2, 40+40)
Lower Level (Wrong Answers): 60/5=12 1267%= 8 2450%= 12 24*33%= 8 28 wrong out of 180; Score: 84.44%
Upper Level (Wrong Answers): 80/5=16… Rounding up on all decimals 1667%= 11 3250%=16 32*33%=22 49 wrong out of 180, score 72.77%
I really don’t think I was unsure about 80 questions, but also, idk, because I hadn’t slept and had tunnel vision, and I was already worried, and I’m unfortunately and fortunately aware of all the biases I possess. Curse my psychology BBA. I know I just need to wait, but dang dude. I’m stressed.
Backstory on why I couldn’t study more:
I had to unexpectedly move in January because our apartment had black mold and other toxic molds resulting from lackluster apartment maintenance.
The management team was not willing to pay for our move and withheld funds from us that I figured we were entitled to, so I had to scan the state property code, cite it to them, act accordingly, etc. Ended up getting a lawyer. Still dealing with that.
Found out my brother-in-law was hitting my sisteniece during that time so had to deal with that (didn’t deal with him as I would’ve liked, no crimes committed). CPS called by someone else and then I was blamed by my sister who cut off communications with my family.
Found out my girlfriend of 20 months now has or had HPV and CIN3 cervical dysplasia, precancerous cells at the most severe stage before becoming cancerous, and a whole bunch of other scares around that.
Two family weddings to attend, both out of town. Cousins wedding was on May 3. My test was May 15th, 830 a.m.
Sister-in-law (I will be proposing to gf soon) Graduation to attend on May 10th in Washington DC. I live in Dallas, Texas. Flew out on the 9th, got back on the 12th.
Night of the test, I realized I needed my passport, which I hadn’t seen in months!!! Looked for it in my house, couldn’t find it. After studying an all nighter, left for my parents at 7-715am. Test at 830am. They live 20 minutes away. Testing facility 40 minutes with traffic from my parents. Found the passport, luckily, around 752am. Left. Took express lanes and went above the speed limit. Walked through the doors at 8:32am. Adrenaline flowing. Caffeine kicking. Took the test. Went full tunnel vision. But I really had a good time taking the test, I will say. I did almost piss myself in the last 15 minutes of part 1.

The night was bone-chillingly cold. The slightest whisper of a breeze nipped at my exposed ears and drafted unpleasantly within my overly large winter coat. The black, barren trees stood unmoving like sentinels bearing ominously down upon either side of the sleet-slick street, which was lit only by dim street lamps that, other than creating a dull yellow reflection on the otherwise unlit pavement, seemed to do nothing against the oppressing dark of this fateful December night.
I had passed through a wrought iron gate twenty minutes before, the gate that separated a cozy subdivision from this eerie, undeveloped stretch of road that seemed to be dropped in the middle of the forest. I could think only of my warm, lively hearth and a nice, hot cup of tea between my palms, which now, instead of being pressed against warm porcelain, were being stabbed by my untrimmed fingernails as I tightened my fist onto the leash and plunged the other still deeper into my coat.
This night was the culmination of weeks of investigation on a missing person’s case turned sour. A man named Arthur Smith had reported his four daughters missing, then hung himself three days later when we couldn’t find anything. Oddly, Arthur’s body went missing from the morgue shortly after. The only trace left was an incredible amount of flies, and we were displeased to see that every drawer was leaking a mixture of blood and embalming fluid because the refrigerant pipes burst. When we opened them up, the neck of every corpse had been slit.
Eventually, through good detective work, we were able to connect some dots, and that led us to where we were now: We were now on a manhunt for a suspect that was last seen at a gas station about a mile up the road, not two hours earlier. We checked a network of cameras to see that he had headed for the woods, grabbed the hounds, and here we were.
My colleagues and I were spread around in different parts of the forest with the police force’s seven bloodhounds. I got stuck with Old Ben, the force’s droopiest and most seasoned canine. He was partially blind and notorious for not obeying commands. He didn’t even respond to a dog whistle, which was why some of my colleagues thought his hearing was shot. I doubted this theory, though, because sure enough, when somebody whispered the word “biscuit,” Old Benny perked up and started wagging his tail.
Another ten minutes found Old Benny and I at the end of the once seemingly endless street, with the streetlamps and pavement stopping abruptly at the edge of the woods, which had not entirely swallowed up a bulldozer. Old Ben stopped and sniffed the air for a moment, then plunged down a path in the woods to our right. It was a dirt path, not two feet wide, overgrown and partially washed out, making it an unpleasant and muddy journey from here on out.
…
My flashlight was now the only source of light illuminating our way. Its beam slid over roots and rocks that jutted out of the path at odd angles and briefly swept over the nearest trees, bringing them out of the shadow for a moment. I felt claustrophobic as they bore down upon me and upon the path. The only sound was my deep breathing, my sloppy footsteps, and Benny’s blundering in the mud about ten feet in front of me.
The path turned in such a way that I could see faint moonlight up ahead, but a cloud soon covered the moon and removed the slight comfort its light had provided. I continued following the curve of the path, and pointed my flashlight up ahead. Suddenly, everything was pitch black, as my flashlight had just gone out without a flicker. I was especially annoyed because firstly, I had just replaced the batteries earlier that week, and secondly, I caught a glimpse of the dark outline of what seemed to be a small cottage up ahead, which was now invisible in the darkness.
To my surprise, Benny stopped as soon as the light went out, which made it easy for me to replace the batteries with the ones that I always carried around in my service belt. To my dismay, Benny did not continue walking when the light flickered back on, even when I started tugging on his leash. He simply sat in the mud and peered at the cottage in the distance, which I knew for a fact he couldn’t see. The cottage was incredibly run down, but I couldn’t see much more, as it was just at the edge of my flashlight beam.
I began feeling uneasy when Benny started whimpering and backing away, tail between his legs. Our dogs were trained to bark when they found something, not stand still, and certainly not whine and back away. Old Ben had never been a skittish animal; I had never seen him act like this before. I peered back at the cottage, suspecting something more sinister than I was originally prepared for.
I tied Benny loosely around a nearby tree, so he could pull away if need be, pulled out my handgun, and continued on. Not fifteen seconds later, I was hit with the smell of blood and wet dog, and heard whimpering to my left. I told Benny to stay, and turned to find him where I left him, about twenty yards behind me, looking at me like I was insane. I bent down and examined the source of the noise, only to find one of our bloodhounds laying just off the path and covered in a mixture of mud and its own blood. It was missing its hind legs and was shivering badly. I cursed and dispatched it with a quick slit with my utility knife, then unclipped its collar and stuffed it into my pocket before turning away. I did not want to alert the suspect of my position. I grew worried about the location of my colleagues, as our dogs were trained not to run off. I also wondered what kind of predator would have taken only the hind legs of an animal. I tried not to think about it as I continued on.
As the cottage grew nearer, I was able to make out a few broken windows reflecting my light back at me. Through these I was able to see that the inside of the cottage was pitch black, the darkest black I had ever seen. I walked closer still, and I couldn’t stop looking into the darkness of the cottage. The darkness was so potent it seemed to be spilling over the window sill into the crisp night air. I felt consumed. My heart began pounding within my chest, and I felt colder than ever as I stepped toward the gravel path that led around to the left of the cottage. The sudden change in surface and the sound of my feet crunching upon the gravel seemed to break my trance, and I shuddered.
I didn’t know why I had felt so trapped, and I didn’t like it. Something was definitely wrong with this situation, and my feelings of dread intensified as I followed the gravel path around to the front of the cottage.
A dripping noise interrupted my thoughts and temporarily washed the dread from my mind. I paused. I determined it was coming from the direction I was headed, but I couldn’t see the front door yet as the porch was draped with ivy. I was suddenly hit with the putrid smell I knew all too well: the smell of death. It hit my nostrils like a truck and returned my feelings of dread all at once. I shined my beam to the front steps.
There was a dark, red liquid trickling gently down the steps, pooling under the porch: blood. I looked up onto the front porch, now visible, and saw the torso of a man hanging from his neck about three feet away from the front door. His legs were nowhere to be seen, though there was a blood trail leading into the house, and his glistening entrails swayed sickeningly with the light breeze. Blood was pooling below him, trickling down the steps, and down through the cracks in the porch. It had begun coagulating, and dark swirling orbs rotated in the puddle each time a drop splashed down. I looked up again at the carcass and recognized the man as our suspect. There was frost beginning to form at the edges of his mouth and over his glassy eyes, but his exposed entrails were still steaming. Furthermore, the blood dripping from his wound was still deep red in color. The back of my neck prickled and I knew this man had not been hanging for very long. No, not very long at all.
I raised my pistol and nudged the front door open. I was again hit with the smell of death, though now much stronger, so strong I could scarcely draw breath. The inside of the cottage was unbelievably dank, and the darkness seemed to eat the quivering beam of light I pointed out in front of me, so I couldn’t see ten feet forward.
I heard a sharp crack and I bolted my gaze to my feet. I had just stepped on a human rib. Suddenly the cottage came alive with creaking and shuffling. I heard flies buzzing all around me. I heard a raspy rushing noise to my right. I shined my flashlight to where I thought the noise was coming from, but all I saw was a bloodstained floor and darkness out in front of me. I took a step toward the noise, and the beam of light revealed the glistening mangled corpse of a man, missing most of his skin, hunched in the corner of the cottage. His whole torso was heaving, and I saw the rushing noise was coming from the base of his throat, where a large gash was opening and closing with every breath, spraying flecks of fluid. Maggots wriggled out of his wound, and black purge fluid trickled from his soupy eye sockets, his missing nose, and his gaping mouth. He was missing most of his teeth, and one of his cheeks was rotted through.
I was frozen in place with fear, until, to my horror, the man’s mangled arm rose and reached out to me. At this I aimed and put a bullet through his partially exposed skull, splattering a putrid mist on the wall behind him. Instead of slumping over, as I prayed he would, the man slowly levitated into an upright position as though controlled by a puppeteer. Skin began regrowing around his legs, his torso, and eventually his skull, which sprouted two bloody horns out of his forehead. This being had the likeness of Arthur Smith, though I sensed it was no longer him. I placed two rounds into his torso, and the being staggered, but the bullet wounds simply closed with sickening squelching sounds. I backed away slowly, and he simply stood in the corner and leered at me with burning black eyes and a disconcerting grin.
I continued to back away slowly, placing one more round between his eyes. His head jerked back, but still it healed and he seemed unbothered. I bolted around and headed for the door. I jerked the handle but it wouldn't budge. I tried kicking it down, which was something I was very practiced at, but still, the rotten oak planks held fast against my will. I turned around, back against the door, firearm at the ready, and stared into the blackness. Everything was quiet once again. Despite the temperature, cold sweat beaded upon my brow and dribbled down my neck.
Suddenly I felt a rumbling that seemed to come from the very depths of the Earth. A splitting and splintering sound came from what I presumed was the center of the cottage, and I was soon showered with bits of wood and stone that nicked my exposed skin and drew droplets of blood. I noticed my back was no longer pressed against the back of the door, though I was not moving. The floor seemed to be carrying me slowly in the direction of the noise. I was frozen in place, and found that I could not change my trajectory.
My flashlight beam found the edge of a large hole in the floor. I saw dark, root-like tendrils sprout from the hole and rush across the floor with the sound of scraping and splintering. They then returned to the hole, and they had within their grasp six bare human bodies, which I horrifically realized were those of my now former colleagues. I watched in horror as their pale naked bodies were folded, torn, ripped, and broken in the churning earth. The sound of tearing flesh and cracking bone was deafening and filled the darkness of the cottage. The mass of mangled flesh formed into one chunky, glistening mound in the center of the hole. It began pulsing and rising, and horrible screams rang in my ears. I watched in horror as the mass formed a humanoid figure that rose up ten feet out of the hole and bent over against the ceiling. It was facing away from me, but its raspy voice seemed to mix seamlessly with the screams directly in my ears.
“The churning of earth, the tearing of flesh, the cracking of bone”
At this it let out a booming laugh that reverberated in my skull and shook the foundation of the building. The cottage once again came alive, but now more than ever before. Shutters were opening and closing, floorboards were rattling, flies swarmed in a huge mass around and around the room, blocking the beam of my flashlight and obscuring my view of the figure. I felt my legs quiver along with the rest of the cottage. I looked down at a red book with its pages fluttering in the still air. I dove for it and slammed it shut, and the cottage grew still. I paused for a moment, but the giant figure began turning towards me. I bolted around to see that the door was now open, but the hung corpse was clinging to the top of the door frame, now very much alive. Its entrails were still swinging freely from its short leap, and the rope lay severed and frayed upon the ground.
I paced towards the door, dumping the rest of my magazine into the corpse, which to my relief fell to the ground with a squelch. I hopped over the body and sprinted out the front door, away from the cottage, down the dirt path. I could still hear the screams of the damned faintly in the distance, and the earth began rumbling once again underneath my feet. I continued running back along the path, trying not to think about what I had witnessed. I paused for a moment to catch my breath, and shivered in the now relentless sleet.
The pounding of the earth became the distant rumble of thunder in the distance. By the time I had gotten back to the paved road, I was soaked to the bone in cold sweat and freezing rain, and I was covered up to my thighs in mud from the path. My coat was snagged and torn in places from the splinters of wood and from branches along the path.
When I finally got back to my car, I saw a leash leading underneath it, and found Old Ben, crouched below, tail between his legs. I scooped him up and plopped him in the passenger seat, entirely disregarding the former cleanliness of my car, as it was now covered in mud and dog hair. I cranked up the heat and sped off towards the station to report what I had witnessed.
…
We never did find that cottage again. Other guys went back to where I was and failed to find the path, but they did find the dismembered bodies of my colleagues hidden under the bulldozer at the end of the street. I was charged with the deaths of my colleagues and was thrown into a mental institute, but I don’t mind it much. There are people here that are far more insane than I am. The worst part is my occasional perception of a distant rumbling, and during thunderstorms I’m a whimpering mess.
I have been disciplined three times for writing symbols on the walls that I can’t get out of my head. I draw them in my blood so they stand out more and resemble what I see. I have found that once they are on the wall, they stay out of my head. Unfortunately, I haven’t finished writing them all out yet. The first time I started I got really close to finishing, but then I found myself strapped to a hospital bed.
The worst part of my new existence is the nightmares. I am plagued by images of my former colleagues: their pale dismembered bodies, the sound of cracking bone, their blood on my hands, their shrieks of pain, and the taste of flesh.

Please dont judge my question.
I have a 2018 Dodge ram 1500, I began financing it in 2022 and I currently still owe $35,000.
I just got a new job hauling heavy equipment and my truck can't handle it.
I'm looking for a different truck, but I'm wondering it will be a bad decision because I still owe alot. Any advice please on how to go about this??
I am asking this question in good faith with no expectations

I have 40% hearing loss in my right ear. Its mostly that I can't hear speech when there is background noise at all. It just all blends into a pile of noise. My family notices it mostly when in the car, they all have to scream around me. I have been to a few ENTs that all agree the problem exists but they can't quite pinpoint the exact cause. They finally all agreed that hearing aids were the best move right now so I bought a pair and got them yesterday. I think the fitting went well and all that but I really didn't know what to expect or what to look out for and I have to say after having a few hours with them, if this is what hearing is supposed to be then I really don't want any part of it.
They are super tinny and they pick up every single noise. There is so much static. I don't want to be able to hear my hand going into my pocket. The streaming from my phone is abysmal (galaxy s24).
I tried creating some new sound profiles but they are only marginally better if at all and they all lack any bass. Not that I want to be in a dance club but I would like to listen to a movie without everyone sounding like chipmunks. And keyboards are the absolute worst. I am at a computer all day and every key press just makes me insane. I've read here that the closed domes can help a lot, is there something else I should be looking at as well?
I think what is the most frustrating is the overall inconvenience of the things. Ideally I would just pop them in and out as needed like a set of earbuds. I don't always need them and I only need it in my right ear which doesn't sit well with wearing glasses. I am also having a difficult time getting them in and out but I think I could learn to get better at that. I see that jabra has some hearing aid type earbuds but they only work with iphone and I will never own an iphone otherwise I would try them. I can't find anything else that seems legit and not some amazon junk.
Is this just how it is now? Do I need to just suck it up and get used to it? I called costco and am trying to get back in for a follow up but I typically don't hear back from them for at least a day or two.

For context, I've been a faithful Mormon believer all of my life until the age of 45+. I live in Layton since 2003. I stopped attending in 2013, and my children (minors at the time) happily stopped attending too. I formally resigned in 2017. Haven't put a foot in a Mormon building of any kind in more than a decade. Haven't attended a Mormon tEmpLe in at least 15 years.
A week ago my youngest daughter, now a young adult who just finished her semester in AZ, came to spend a week with me before going to the East coast to spend summer with her mother. While I've answered all her questions about Mormonism whenever she has asked throughout the years, she doesn't remember much about it because the whole family stopped attending shortly after she was baptized. She was instantly curious when I mentioned the new monstrosity built in our hometown. Knowing it is still in its "open house" period I offered to go and visit it.

• We had to park at one of several designated parking lots several blocks away from the actual building. A shuttle picked the small crowd gathered there and took us to the disproportionate structure.
  
• The tour was procedural. Guides (which were Mormon volunteers of all ages, almost all of them looked hopelessly bored) were stationed all along the route inside the building's corridors to direct visitors in the approved directions.
  
• Short speeches were read or recited in certain parts. Known tropes were repeated (like the mirrors symbolizing eTeRnItY, etc). Something that resembled a Mormon testimony was said at one of the sealing rooms by a couple using the expected baby fundie voice (my daughter looked obliquely at me during that part with a cringe expression in her face).
  
• Many paintings on the walls representing a white Jesus talking, blessing, embracing, carrying, etc ethnic people, which is an obvious effort at ingratiating after more than a century of institutionalized racism.
  

Once the shuttle left us at our original parking lot and we were free from earshot, I asked my daughter what her impressions were. She thought for a few seconds and said "It was like a rich person bragging. Just showing off luxury." Then we engaged in a very refreshing conversation about the Mormon motivations for such a extravagant (and inexcusable) opulence, etc.
On my part, visiting a Mormon tEmpLe after a 15+ year hiatus allowed me to perceive it with fresh eyes, heart, mind; and (more importantly) with richer criteria. My impression is this: it felt like a one inch deep attempt at sacredness; a superficial attempt to display the image of spirituality through expensive materialism. There was no substance within those walls. No history, no content, no god, no love. Just expensive marble and expensive wood and expensive carpet. It was... an empty building.
Any Catholic cathedral, any museum, any library has so much more substance, content, essence, meaning than the ostentatious building we visited last week.
This is my report.

Hi - looking for advice. Some context:
I recently relocated from London to New York on my husbands visa which means I have the right to work without needing a company to sponsor me here in the states.
My last job was as a marketing exec for a tech startup that got acquired by a global company in my last few months there. I was with the company for 4 years and it was my first actual job as before then I had only done two part time internships with local beauty brands.
I have been applying for jobs via LinkedIn, builtinnyc, indeed etc since January and I still haven’t heard back from anyone. I decided to research specific companies I wanted to work for and reached out individuals working for them on LinkedIn to meet for a coffee and as a way to get some advice or a foot in the door but again, no responses.
I don’t know if it’s because my past work experience is in London and that makes it hard to be considered here or if it’s because I only have one past experience or maybe I’m just not good enough. So thought I’d post on here for anyone who had any advice for me!!
Side note- the roles I’m applying for are all within the marketing field ( copywriter, social media manager, digital marketing, communications, diversity/equality etc)
Any and all comments appreciated.
Thanks in advance

So I've been radio silent, but I'm kinda back now. This is the beginning of my rewrite for this fic. Unfortunately I'm gonna take a bit to make the next part, this is due to me being part of the ficnnap. So future parts are gonna take a while to get going, hopefully I'll be functional enough to sit down during the summer and write a bunch.
Anyhow, I hope you enjoy the fic. Any feedback would be nice :).
<<================================>>
Welcome to the XCOM archives, what would you like to search for?
Search: Psionic Imprints, Class Administrator - level 9
Please input access code: ******************
Access Granted... What Psionic Imprint would you like to view?
Search: Board Member Elias Meier, Director
Beginning playback of Imprint... standby...
`Psionic Imprint Subject: Elias Meier, Exhausted Director'
Date [standardized Human time]: June 27th, 2136
Humanity learned it was not alone in the year of 2015, when it was viscously attacked by a hostile alien force intent on colonizing Earth. But humanity fought back, with the formation of XCOM. For the first time in the entirety of human history, Humanity stood as one. And we won, barely and not without consequences. Countries fell apart, or were briefly colonized; or in the case of Advent, for a couple decades.
Of course there was also the aliens that were invading. After some time it was found out that all of them of them were enslaved, controlled and distorted by the Elders.
Or Ethereals if you wanted to be pedantic. God I have had enough of pedantic people.
After a few tense decades, the aliens had slowly filtered into human society. The Vipers forming Sisterhoods, Mutons forming tribes, Sectoids getting into everything, Andromedas forming a haven for their people, and Chryssalids... once thought to be a dying race, surging back to life in 2077 and becoming a horrendous problem for everybody. There were a couple others but I couldn't be bothered to remember them.
Ding a little ring tone sounded, reminding me of my wretched job. I groaned, and waved my hand. I heard a dial up sound, as the system connected. Finally it connected, and one of the voices I dreaded hearing started speaking.
A monotone male voice, the voice of an emotionless thing created by XCOM to make death. "Hello Meier. I have a report, Wraith unit sent to System Gliese-832c has returned. A sapient alien civilization has been discovered. It is not what we expected though."
Wonderful, great even... God this is gonna be a whole thing to handle.
"Explain Odin, I will have to schedule a meeting about this new discovery."
"I have sent a data packet to your computer, which you would see if you looked at it sir"
How the fuck has he developed sarcasm? Has he always had this quirk or did he create it just to personally fuck with me?
I sighed and spun my chair around, away from the great view of my office window. The office I was trapped in was decently sized, the large desk with two 57 inch monitors on each side. The room was 10 feet tall, and 20 feet from door to window, and 12 feet wide. There was a seating area with two couches and a coffee table. A large drink cabinet flanked by two busts on pedestals, and a foyer sitting on the opposite wall flanked by tall standing plant pots with ferns. The entrance was double doors that looked like wood, but were actually plasma and explosive shielded metal doors.
On the left monitor was a display of the planet baring alien life. It was tidally locked, and was inhabited by... sheep, literal fucking sheep. Course they had paws instead of hooves and had no nose but still, literally just fucking sheep. They were apparently called Venlil. They had a decent population, and were part of a larger federation with an unknown number of species. They were at war with 7-8 feet tall nazi space crocodiles, and were deathly afraid of anything "predatory".
I glanced at a small box that appeared, it was an addendum by Dr. Valhen regarding the Venlil. It was a hypothesis regarding their physiology.
Experimental Codex Simulations put them at a 21.53% chance of surviving to a century with current physiology. Likely hood of genetic modification to weaken species at 71.89%.
The addendum pointed out the knocked knees, and the absence of a nose being the most likely areas of modification. I quirked an eyebrow up. I know Dr. Valhen had experience tearing open modified aliens and modifying people at an extreme levels. But still this had to be stretch.
"I have done my own calculations sir, and I have come to the same conclusion as Dr. Valhen sir." I stared pointedly at my monitors before sighing and rubbing my face.
Hmmm whom do I trust more? The mad scientist that walks around in several different metal bodies, or the psychopathic Codex who was created to be unnaturally good at killing. Hmmm good question... how about neither and say fuck it.
"OK Odin. Would you kindly contact the rest of the board and notify them about an emergency meeting?"
"Of course sir, I have already notified them about the scheduled meeting."
... Fucking prick. Oh well if I'm going to be sitting through a meeting I'm going to atleast drink some of the piss flavored water called vodka to pretend I can get drunk.
I stood up and walked over to the drink cabinet. A small round drone that was more of a floating camera came out of the ceiling and followed me. I opened up the cabinet and selected the highest proof alcohol I could find. After popping the bottle and grabbing a shot glass I walked back to my desk. Sitting down as an encrypted channel lit up my right side screen. I pressed on it and poured a shot, the small camera drone hovering in front of me just beyond the desk. The right monitor lit up as 6 people connected.
The Heads of Military, Research and Development, and Diplomatic Affairs were all in the meeting. Dr. Tygan and Dr. Shen heads of R&D, General Zhao and General Kelly heads of Military, Ms. Clark and Mr. Freeman heads of Diplomatic Affairs.
Dr. Tygan didn't look a day over 30, even though he was older than myself. His white coat looked immaculate, and his glasses clean. But his posture and eyes spoke of a man who was debating falling over asleep or shooting someone in the face. Dr. Shen had safety gear on, his clothing stained by machine fluids and sweat. He looked more alive in his 40's than Tygan, and behind him was a scene of a bustling space yard. General Zhao was prim and proper, his posture rigid and his face completely neutral. General Kelly looked to be in a ships captain quarters, his General uniform replaced with a mandatory protective jumpsuit. He looked like he was just woken up, a steaming cup of coffee sitting before him. Ms. Clark and Mr. Freeman looked... normal, they had proper uniforms on and looked like they had been working for a while but still had plenty of energy.
I shot the glass back then looked back at the drone, which had moved to be above the monitor. "So... I have received a report from Odin, and it is the reason for this meeting. Have any of you received the report as well and viewed the contents?"
Dr. Shen squinted at something behind the camera, before bending back and nodding. "Yeah I glanced at it, doesn't really affect my operations honestly. Besides I doubt that they could even get close to the OCDM. That thing can wipe out all kinds of stuff. "
Ms. Clark palmed her face, an exasperated look on it. "Could we not immediately discuss killing these new extraterrestrials? For all we know they number in the hundreds of species, or dozens. Not to mention we do not know the full extent of their technology. They could be much more powerful than us for all we know!"
General Zhao spoke up, a dismissive look to his face. "I have already run through some of the internal information of the Wraith unit. It appears that they have relatively the same level of technology as us. In fact they are actually inferior in some areas. For instance they practically have no cybersecurity. We could shut down their whole planet with a button press."
Ms. Clark groaned as she put her face in her hands. Mr. Freeman just leaned back looking tired. He raised a hand, a ding from the system notifying that he had a question. "Have we attempted to secure a direct access to their network? The more we know about these aliens the better. For all we know they have plans on dealing with "predatory" aliens. We could be signing the death certificate of humanity if we don't investigate more."
Clark looked up with shock and anger. "Yo-you can't be serious Mr. Freeman?! We haven't even attempted communication with these people and you're already planning on spying on them?! We should talk to them first, not just assume they are gonna be murderous!"
Everyone else on the meeting glanced around, the unsaid thing hanging in the air. Clark was very new to the board, and had grown up in New Russia. One of the European countries with the most amount of aliens. Everyone else had either only interacted with aliens as acquaintances, or killed them. Not to mention that XCOM was literally formed with the intention of pushing an invading alien empire off Earth. It had a long and bloody history with aliens, not to mention some of the things that it had done to aliens in service to Humanity.
General Kelly just sighed as he took a long sip of his coffee. Putting it down he crossed his hands in front of him. "We're getting off track people. We need to decide our course of action moving forward with these Venlil and their allies. I would recommend sending a civilian science vessel alongside two Avengers and a Hammer. The Hammer ship can operate in Stealth mode in the alien system, while the Avengers act like Cargo Ships. This allows us to put on a good face while still ensuring that our assets will be protected."
There was nodding across the board, everyone seemed to reluctantly agree on something for once. Then they all stared at their cameras, obviously waiting for myself. I sighed and poured another shot. "I concur with Kelly's plan, but I would also like to have Mothership Valhala on standby with Fleet Alpha. I would like you Kelly to command it, if you are too busy General Zhao will command instead."
Kelly and Zhao looked shocked by what I said. But they both donned neutral faces quickly afterwards. Zhao raised a hand, the system dinged signaling that he had a question. "May I ask why you are requesting this? Last time I actively commanded was for Operation Living Mausoleum and we all know how that turned out."
I shot back the glass and pointed at the camera. "That Operation was fucked from the very beginning. There was jack shit you could've done to prevent the casualties that occurred. Not to mention that you can't compare yourself to the Commander, he was inhumanly good at what he did. Hell from what I hear the man could practically see into the future. So quit it, stop beating yourself up over it. You're one of the greatest generals I've ever had the pleasure of working alongside with."
Zhao's face briefly clouded with a dark brooding look as I talked. But when I finished it lit up in surprise. He must still be beating himself up over that shit operation. I still remember reading the reports and feeling afraid about the future of XCOM. But thankfully Valhen managed to control the damn thing, and Diplomatic Affairs quelled the fires that had started from it.
"This meeting is concluded. Get back to whatever you all are doing." One by one the channel sent quiet. Tygan just stared into space, a vacant look on his face. "Tygan? Tygan!" He jumped in his seat, finally coming to. He took off his glasses and rubbed his face. "Tygan... it's getting worse... you really should reconsider your stance."
He looked up, a fire in his eyes. He put his glasses back on, tapping his fingers as he did so. "Well I won't. I'm not gonna stoop down to Valhen's level of depravity. The procedure is completely experimental and for all I know it's a miracle that I'm even still alive. I am almost 200 years old. If my mind is finally failing then so be it. I have played God long enough."
He left the channel right afterwards, only for another person to appear. It was Dr. Valhen and she had no camera feed. All I could see was a noise graph. "Meier... I would like to... make a... request- demand... I would like to attend the mission."
I slammed the shot glass on the table. "Absolutely not, I don't care what you're reason is. My final and only answer will be no. So kiss my ass, and go back to cutting apart death row inmates and war criminals."
…After a few seconds of silence and the graph not moving, it started laughing. That laugh told me more than enough. "Oh Meier, naughty naughty Meier... keeping me away from the new toys? How cruel of you... forgive me... I will honor your request..."
She... it left the channel. I closed it up, and spun my chair around. The window allowed me to view the Appalachian Mountains in all their splendor. In the distance I could see the camo fields of ships shifting as they moved about. I stared at the bottle before corking it and walking back to the cabinet.
This is gonna be an absolute shitshow. For all we knew we are boldly striding towards a war that will be the end of humanity once and for all.
End of Imprint
[Next]

Ren is a noble who is the second eldest of her family, which has the tradition of the eldest taking over the alchemist guild while the second becomes an adventurer in a far away. She has trained her whole life to develop her own way of fighting, using her rapier, her collection of potions and poisons, and her innate psionic powers to overcome her enemies, typically through attrition as she uses her magic and tactics to avoid being hit. Mechanically, she is a DnD 5e character, variant human hexblade warlock with the pact of the blade Her family crest is primarily blue and black; with white, red, and gold thrown in for accenting
# Character Basics
Full Name: Lady Ren, of house Hohi
Race/Ethnic Group: Variant Human
Class/Occupation: Monster Hunter who uses her history as an alchemist to fight
Character Nature: High Fantasy (DnD 5e)
# Character Details
Gender: Female
Age/appeared age: 21
Hair: Black hair, approximately mid shoulder blades in length
Eyes: brown
Significant item: The important thing are her potions/poisons. Thinking belt or bandoliers, but they need to be somewhere that she can easily reach them.
Body Type: Tall (6'2", 6' 6" in her heels), relatively slender
Color Scheme: Will admit that I am not great at this, so will leave up to you. Thinking either something following her family crest (so blue and black with splashes of gold and red) or something earthlier to be able to blend into the woods. The more colourful version may also struggle with the potions
Gear: Rapier, a number of vials filled with different coloured potions and poisons (thinking a few bandoliers, but could have them along her belt, in a bag, or in a bag), a book somewhere she can easily grab, fancy hat that is still practical (and preferably made of an easily cleanable material as it is often thrown into the dirt to start duels), boots with heels that add 4" (not the most practical thing to fight in, I know. But the original reference picture had them and they've been talked about enough that they've become a core part of her)
Action/Pose: Flexible, but something showing some confidence and being relaxed would be nice.
Other: Despite the new situation that she finds herself in, Ren always exudes confidence. With grace and a strong will, she believes that she can overcome any challenge
# Character Persona
Alignment: Chaotic Good
Personality Traits: The common folk love me for my kindness and generosity. My eloquent flattery makes everyone I talk to feel like the most wonderful and important person in the world.
Ideals and Goals: Independence: I must prove that I can handle myself without the coddling of my family. Ren's goal is to create a new alchemist guild in her new home, as well as being a successful hunter.
Bonds and Flaws: Bonds: I will do everything in my power to look out for those that have given themselves to me, even if it costs me my life. Flaws: In fact, the world does revolve around me, I have an insatiable desire for carnal pleasures
# Other
Visual concepts: The important thing is that Ren is a noble first and foremost (one with plenty of money from adventuring and max charisma), so she should have a confidence and swagger along with elegance in her look. Still, she fights monsters for a living and is a scrambler when it comes to fighting, so being able to move freely is of the upmost importance.
Backstory: Born to a noble house running a large alchemist guild, Ren has always been surrounded by potions and poisons her whole life and has learned many things about them. Despite having acquired a large knowledge on the science of potion (and poison) making, as the second eldest her role was to move to a far away land and become an adventurer to spread the family's reputation. As such, she has been taught to hunt, fight, and survive in addition to her alchemy lessons and learning how to interact in the courts. At the age of 21 she finally set off on her own, using her skills to become a monster hunter.

Hello! Jokes aside from my title, I can tell a server if my order isn't correct on my own and I like pickles. However, I hope that paints a good picture to start with on what type of person I'm looking for. Also sorry, but not sorry for this being a book.
What/Who I'm looking for:

• Generally more assertive and independent because I'm more the opposite from the former and the same on the latter.
• Someone who will mostly have my back when I'm going through a difficult time, because I will sure as hell do the same in return.
• Someone who actually wants to make decisions as equals.
• Someone that is good at conveying what they're thinking/how they're feeling.
• I value kindness/compassion, honesty, rationality, and curiosity above all else.
• I'm just gonna put an arbitrary age range of like 22-33 as a guideline, but it's just that, a guideline.

What I bring to the table in return:

• Very carefree in things like decor, room arrangements, etc.
• I think I'm thoughtful and tend to do little stuff like make sure I ask if someone wants something on my way home.
• I also do my best to be observant, but realistically also sometimes miss really obvious things.
• I like making sure people I care about are taken care and use the previous traits to do that.
• As above, I'm independent and that's is also true in the financial department.
• Open to relocation, as I'm not really tied down by anything.

Possible deal-breakers:

• I'm somewhere around average-looking and currently chubby or fat, though that is improving and something that I have made and am continuing to make progress on.
• I'm like 99% certain that I never want any kids. Pets are a go, and I currently have some. I offer pictures
• I'm generally pretty left-leaning politically, but I'm pretty moderate.
• Probably the most important one is that I don't really have all my shit together. I'd say it's probably about 75% of the way together and I'm always working to improve that number.

Personality-wise(I wrote these last couple sections as paragraphs, sorry):
I'm fairly rational and honest. I talk way too much sometimes, especially when I'm passionate about something or excited. I do like alone time, or just sitting in silence together. I try to keep things lighthearted most of the time and I laugh at a giant amount of stupid things that probably aren't that funny. My humor is pretty cursed because I find some dark humor funny and just internet humor in general. I'm pretty whimsical and often like to try new things. I get really focused on things for a little while, then I kind of move onto whatever takes my attention away. Because of that, my hobbies are kind of a revolving door a lot of the time. I think my worst trait is that I sometimes genuinely have a hard time understanding people and their decisions.
Hobbies:
For my hobbies, it's all just kind of nerd hobbies for the most part. Most of my free time is spent playing video games with the occasional watching or reading something in between. I actually like and follow sports when I feel like it. Said sports being baseball and football. Despite being ingrained in internet culture, I do touch grass regularly. Some things that I'd like to do, but refuse to do alone are things like hiking and traveling. I also don't know if I'd really consider it a hobby, but I exercise.
Physical appearance:
I'm about 5'7 or 67 inches. I've got the old man balding genes, so I keep my hair rather short. I also keep my facial hair around as short. Both of which are brown, though my face has some other colors mixed in. I'm pretty broad. I'm overweight and working on it, as stated above. I have hazel eyes, but they usually like 90% brown and 10% green.
Finally I'm just adding a thank you for the presumably low amount of people that actually stuck around until the end. If you've somehow made it this far and decide to not reach out, good luck on your search!