How much abilify to get high

The stress of my involvement with the legal system was a contributing factor to significant weight gain.
I finally reached a place of stability where I think I can be successful in getting back to a healthy weight. I’m down 50 lbs since December and I have at least the same amount to go. My mantra is 100 by 60 (lose 100 lbs by the time I turn 60 in April 2025).
I’m not on a fad diet- clean, healthy eating with exercise. And I’m feeling pretty good.
I don’t know how many people struggle with stress weight, but having a sex conviction is high up there on the stress charts.
I’m also not one of those people who says “I did it, so you can too.” I know there are many factors at play. For me, in addition to the stress, there was sleep apnea, a diseased gall bladder, arthritis, and hammer toes. I was dealing with a lot. With a Cpap machine, regular sleep, gall bladder removal, toe surgery, and treatment for the arthritis, I’m in the best shape of my life.
In a related note- the sleep apnea was diagnosed when I was on probation over a decade ago. I had to get approval to do a sleep study because I had to “sleep” somewhere other than my home. Somewhat ridiculous given I was watched by a medical professional the entire time I was in the study.

Xooty suicide parade 900pp play did not get the same treatment as a 1300 pp play? Now is that a problem with the score being not impressive, or because people are- the culture of osu!, currently, atleast for people who are not very deep into the game, uhh-, is accustomed to just looking at the number, which is the pp, and thinking that's the end-all, be-all. I didn't even know xooty fc'd suicide parade. That's a fucking crazy ass score. That's a score, if i were to watch that, that would genuinely excite me. But no one sends it. no one ever sent me that. I never heard about it. all the shit that people send me are just 1500, 1600, 1400, and low and behold, it's an hddt map, has some jumps, some streams, and that's it.....
oh shit it's not the top diff what the fuck? dude th- the spaced triples are literally some of the most annoying patterns in this fucking game. yet this map is literally FILLED with it. that's also a reason why i think like blanket statements are also like really- like discussions within the osu! community is just so difficult to make because specificity is very important, and i'm also guilty of this even during our conversation today, but like technically speaking, these spaced triples are flow-aim patterns, yet they are not rewarded for the difficulty of them. these patterns are so fucked up man...... like i don't know how to explain it, it's like going from a velocity of 0 on- on a stack pattern, into a super follow-point spaced pattern. that like change in spacing is literally so hard to consistently hit..... WHAT THE!? WHAT THE FUCK??? WAIT WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?..... DUDE! WAIT XOOTY ISN'T EVEN- XOOTY IS FUCKING CHILLING! wait she has a massive fucking tablet so i guess like shakes literally wouldn't like show up on her tablet right? yeah i fucking forgot! her tablet is like the size of a fucking football field \chuckles** wait this is a choke? this is a 2 miss? where the FUCK did she miss?........ WhHaaT? SHE HIT FUCKING EVERYTHING! WHERE THE FUCK DID SHE MISS?..... (miss sound) i'm gonna fucking puke. that is repulsive dude. that is fucking repulsive. that is- \sigh** ugh. \chuckles** deserved for playing hidden. noooo dudeeee, noooo that's just out of pOcKet you can't fucking say that dudee. noooahaoanoaanoaha. i fear- i feel a literal tear coming out from seeing that bro. there's no fucking way. that was only the first miss?? \slaps forehead** i- i literally- i- i- i literally said this. i literally said this. hitting, like it's not- it's not the spacing that's difficult. it's the going from a 0 velocity- 0 cursor velocity to a follow point- to a- to a velocity that requires follow points. that is so FUCKING DIFFICULT man. oh my god. yeah this score is ridiculous dude. i find this score so much more impressive. which is also why pp is a joke. and it's honestly- it- it- it- it's- it sucks man. everyday people come into my chat and uh- preach about oh, set a 1k, oh, when are you gonna set uh- an 800 again? bla bla bla bla bla. pp is dumb!

I ( m31) my wife ( f27) I’m super mentally exhausted just like the title says. Me and my wife are married 3 years. We have a 2 year old. Wife got so many issue with her side of the family which is so toxic and she barely talk to them. I just got out of the military this year and having hard time financially but building my own business alongside with my dad. mostly I work from home now but issue is 90% of the work at home done by me, I have to take care of my 2yr old and work, this is mentally exhausting me, she never volunteered to help me with 2yr old unless I asked her to do, but even I asked her she will watch her but stayed mostly on the phone, if my daughter nagging or crying she’s being mean not play with her ,so I stop my work and play with my daughter as I don’t like to say no to her ( my daughter extremely attached to me) my wife never help me with anything she don’t work and never work, this is been going for past 2 years. I can’t even communicate with her , she can’t even get along with anyone, she have very nasty personality even tho I done so many things for her and continue to do, but I’m very exhausted and only thing keep me going is my daughter. I’m working so hard to build my own business not for me but for them. I’m going through so much pain inside , so stress and High blood pressure everyday, she knows that. I’m not sure what to do or what I can make things change ( we had been going to couple therapy last year for whole year which she only talk about there is what she’s going through wit her family and how that affect her
tl;dr I’m really mentally exhausted and I’m looking for genuine advise from yall, ?

I have so much hate that I don’t understand.
The last 2 years of my (m 22) life have changed me a lot. I went through a break up that ended in an abortion, I went back to an ex who ultimately broke my heart a second time, I lost a great job due to budget cuts and it took 5 months to find a new one that suited me (love my current job), my grandfather died, I moved into my own place, I began taking online classes, lost a lot of weight after being obese, became an alcoholic then quit drinking (2 months sober rn), quit smoking, and I recognize how much progress I’ve made and all the good things in my life, but lately, I just feel angry all the time.
I grew up poor and overweight, got bullied a lot as a kid, had to learn to take care of myself pretty young, a lot of emotional abuse growing up, and I had this constant feeling of not being enough. This resulted in a lot of insecurity as I grew into my teen years and now as an adult. But I did decide to make changes for the better because I didn’t want to be that person anymore. Losing weight, taking classes, finding a good job, researching politics to be up to date on the current state of things, etc; all things I decided I had to do in order to separate myself from the me that I was, and to be better. But I didn’t realize that it wasn’t just about being a better me, but rather wanting to be better than everyone else.
I don’t live in a wealthy area at all. My place is definitely on the nicer side but it’s mostly section 8 and a lot of homelessness. When I go to the store, I look around and I’m disgusted. I look at the overweight individuals and think “dear god, go to the gym”, I see the homeless and think “get a job, you stupid bum.” Or I see the junkies and think “why do this to yourself? Just stop this nonsense.”. I think this way and then have to ultimately remind myself that it’s not a choice for most of them, and that not everybody can simply change their habits and lifestyle on a whim. But even when I remind myself that life can be cruel and many of these people simply don’t have the resources or knowledge to fix their problems, I still feel so disgusted by them. I feel so disgusted by the idea that I was only a few years away from being one of them. Seeing those people, those strangers who are so similar to family members of my own; it drives me crazy.
I create conflict for the sake of being correct, and I can never seem to admit when I’m wrong until it’s too late. I hate letting emotions overcome my logic (I have autism) and will blatantly ignore someone’s feelings in order to be correct. “The facts don’t care about your feelings” is a phrase that pretty accurately describes my way of discussing important issues. Recently even possibly permanently damaging a friendship because I just had to be right about the Israel and Palestine situation, instead of acknowledging that her perspective was simply her own, and I haven’t even apologized yet because I feel like apologizing means admitting to being wrong (see what I’m saying?!).
I’m so determined to be better than everyone that I become the kind of person that nobody wants around. I can’t just let people be and move along. I have to have an opinion, and I have to be smarter, in better shape, better dressed, etc. I’ve become this pretentious person who looks down on everyone when I’m nothing special myself. I feel like I’m shooting myself in the foot by trying to be more than what I’ve always been surrounded by.

I'm in the middle of replaying the series (so far done KH and re:CoM), and in my run of the first game, I found a much better appreciation for using magic and what it could do beyond Cure and Aero spells.
I'm up to Space Paranoids in my KH2FM run and magic use just isn't clicking for me in the way it did in the original. Are there any good guides on how to better make use of it? I'm only playing on standard, but I still want to get better with using all of Sora's tools.
For reference - I took the staff when I got the choice at the beginning of the game and I have Wisdom form levelled up as much as it can be right now.

Recently, I've interviewed with a startup company seeking someone to help the company with their marketing efforts; building everything from the ground up (they don't have any social media presence or anything). The marketing also goes beyond digital, I would be responsible for event planning, attending conferences to promote the product, etc
As a new grad with internship experience and a background as a PM in the startup sector, I was excited about this long-term opportunity. The company seemed to love me, was thrilled to start onboarding soon and offered $30/h. Meanwhile, another company offered $45/h, but it was only a short-term summer position, whereas the startup role was long-term, which I valued more. In addition, the other company's work just wasn't fulfilling to me. I made this clear.
I told the startup I was looking for around $40/h, considering my experience, local rates and the responsibilities of the role. The hiring manager indicated there was some flexibility and would get back to me. I would've never brought up my other competing offers if I knew their proposed rate was the best they could do. I expressed multiple times how enthusiastic I was about the company and the invaluable experience the role would provide.
The next day, I received an email from them revoking the offer, stating they couldn't afford me and thought I was "overqualified." This confused and frustrated me—why not simply say their initial offer was final if my counter was too high? I immediately responded, saying I'd accept the $30/h offer as the job aligned perfectly with my career goals. They basically told me to screw off and move on.
I'm young and still learning about salary negotiations, but this experience has left me puzzled and disappointed. Any guidance or thoughts would be greatly appreciated. I'm upset about losing this opportunity, both financially and career-wise, and still can't figure out what really went wrong.

Hello again velo, It's me. The guy that rides uphill in Japan. On my last post I mentioned some differences in racing in Japan saying it was for another post. Well, there appeared to be some interest in me making that post. As I mentioned then... I tend to ramble. I'm an English teacher at a small high school which leaves me with a lot of free time. I enjoy spending that time researching anything from training methodology to obscure Japanese history. I decided to use some of that time to write about road racing in Japan and it turned into... well, whatever this is. It's (sort of) a guide to racing your bike over here. I've organized it into sections, so feel free to read it all or skip through them. At the end I've attached racing adjacent notes as well as a small bio.
If this post is not appropriate for this subreddit, I understand. And while I don't want to self-promote I spend most of my time reading about Japan not only because I live here, but also because my wife and I host a podcast. We mostly ramble about our lives here as foreigners. It's mostly cultural, but as long time competetive cyclists we often talk about bikes too. We host a website where I write random articles, which is where this is ultimately hosted, with photos. If you're curious you can google my username and find us.
I tried to think about things I've learned along the way and put it into writing for anyone in the future that might move to Japan and have an interest in racing. If you have any questions or see any information gaps, feel free to ask! In September we'll be moving to the Netherlands... so maybe I'll have to do this all over again then. Anyway, without further rambling, here it is.
Race License
There are actually quite a lot of road events throughout the country. However, many are marketed towards recreational cyclists. Going as far as incorporating anti-competition clauses in their rules. So what do you do if you want to race? For starters, you’ll head to the Japan Cycling Federation’s website and register for a license. It’s in Japanese, but with the magic of Google Translate it shouldn’t be too hard to navigate. This is also for those currently residing in Japan. I think otherwise you would need an international license issued from your country’s governing body.
While on their website you can check the calendar of events that are scheduled. But, it’s not as simple as where I am from (USA) where once you have a license you can register yourself for almost any event and just show up.
Race Organizers
In most cases while the JCF is the licensing body, they are not the event coordinator. Events are hosted by a number of different governing bodies within the country. There’s the Japan Intercollegiate Cycling Federation (JICF), Japan Cycling League (JCL), prefectural federations such as the Yamaguchi Cycling Federation and finally the Japan Bicyclist Club Federation (JBCF). There are a lot of Js, Cs and Fs in the acronym lexicon over here. In this post I’ll be focusing on the JBCF because it was sold to me as Japan’s premier race organizer and the highest level of racing in Japan. It also seems to have the most robust calendar of events.
Declaration of my bias and shortcoming: The JBCF is the only organizer I’ve had any meaningful experience with. No, they’re not paying me. However I have won a cool towel, a coffee cup and some bar tape at their events. Actually I’ve given them quite a bit of money…
Teams
So you’ve got your JCF license and like me you’ve decided to participate in the JBCF. What’s next? Register for a JBCF account, sign up for events, race your bike? Almost. You do need to register for an account. After that, you need to find a team. That’s right, you need to be registered with a JBCF team to participate in races. This was a surprise to me and also a barrier to entry at first. As a new resident of Japan I didn’t know anyone here let alone a team that would let a random foreigner join.
How’d I do it then? Well, the first team I joined was through a friend of a friend of a friend. My second and current team I ended up getting to know because I took a bunch of KOMs around my new home. I guess Strava KOMs are worth something after all. If you’re looking for a team you could start by asking local shops, they often have a club organization that you can sign up for. If you’re desperate you can also make your own team. It used to only require two people, but I think they increased that to three or four.
Costs
I’m writing this in May of 2024, so the costs will be current as of that month. The USD to JPY conversion is sitting around 1 USD = 155 JPY.
Your first cost will be the JCF license fee. In my case, an elite rider over 23 years old, it was 5,000y for an e-license and 6,300y for the physical one. My first year I used the e-license, but my second year I paid for the physical one as a cool souvenir.
Beyond the license. You’ll need a team kit (bibs & jersey) and you may also be required to pay the athlete registration fee. To join my E1 team in 2024 I paid 43,000 yen. That included one team kit and the registration fee plus some small accessories (gloves, bottle, etc.). In E1 I paid all my own entry fees, which were approximately 8,500y per race.
My JPT experience was a special case. I paid roughly $1,200 (usd). But I received two kits (jerseys & bibs), a speed suit (SS skinsuit), windbreaker, vest, socks, etc. I also had the benefit of the “pro” treatment at races with lots of assistance. Was it a cold rainy day? I could ask for embro and they’d oil me up with a little massage. Needed a bike wash, snacks, or a trainer to warm up on? All provided. And all of my entry fees were covered. I never paid those out of pocket. It was a really cool experience and honestly I think I got my money's worth just in the races that I attended, let alone all the extras. Plus the team was above and beyond hospitable. A really great bunch of people.
Categories
Once you’re on a team you’re good to go! So which category should you race in? The JBCF has 5 big categories: Japan Pro Tour (JPT), Japan Elite Tour (JET), Japan Feminin Tour (F), Japan Youth Tour (Y1 & Y2), and the Japan Masters Tour (M). JET is further broken down into E1, E2 & E3. The general idea is male riders start as E3 and through results they work their way up to E1. If they’re highly motivated they’ll target a placement on a JPT Team.
Unfortunately for the women, I believe there is only one lump “Female” category. But in one of my most recent races a woman lined up with us for our race start. So that may be an option. For the Youth there’s U19 & U17. Masters is similar to the women’s category and I believe there is simply one “Masters” event, without age ranges.
Using what I know (USA Cycling Categories) I’ll try to make a comparison. E3 is your Cat 4/5 or Novice rank. E2 is around Cat 3/4 and E1 is roughly one big P/1/2/3 field. JPT is something like the US’s Domestic Elite field. Some JPT teams (and even some E1 teams) are UCI Continental teams. Although, honestly, some JPT riders are probably equivalent to strong Cat 3s.
In America I raced as a Cat 2 on the road, albeit I was a pretty weak 2. My first year in Japan I raced JPT and was able to hang in the peloton and finish events. My second year I raced as an E1, where I was very competitive and able to fight for podium finishes. That’s my experience and my basis for the above comparisons.
Events
Once you’ve got all the above figured out, it’s time to finally race! The JBCF organizes the following events: Road, Criterium, Hill Climb, Time Trial and Track. Criterium, Time Trial & Track are pretty similar to what you’d find anywhere else in the world. So for this post I’ll really just focus on Road and Hill Climb.
It’s worth noting that except for track, all of these events take place on public roads. But, unlike the USA, it seems the general rule in Japan is that for a race to be a “race” the roads need to be closed to traffic. Sounds great, right? Right! Or, mostly. Japan is a beautiful country with incredible scenery and fantastic road riding. Unfortunately, the JBCF uses very little of this. I think to minimize inconveniencing locals, cut costs, and make their lives easier, most of these events will take place on already closed circuits or around agricultural land (where no one lives or drives anyway). In practice they are “public” roads, but they only need to shut down one or two entrances to close off the entire loop.
Many “road” events are just very long short circuit races. A popular venue that hosts multiple races throughout the season is the Gunma Cycle Sports Center. This is a defunct cycling theme park built in the 1980s with a paved 6 km circuit. Some of the races in the higher categories can be up to 150 km! That’s 25 laps! And, they’ll be pulling riders. When I was racing JPT it was often a big accomplishment just to finish a race. It was a common occurrence for a break to get established with the big teams represented and the rest of the field to sit up, inevitably getting pulled before being lapped. It’s not uncommon for well over half of the field to DNF early on in these longer races. Sometimes to add a little spice to your life, they’ll run the course in the opposite direction one weekend.
So, I’m biased, but that style of “road racing” wasn’t for me. That’s what led me to the Hill Climb. At first, I thought it was just an uphill TT. But, it's a mass start! The last one I did was Mt. Ontake HC which was a 17.7km race gaining 1,150 meters in elevation finishing at an altitude just under 2,200m. I finished in 51 minutes. It’s more like an uphill criterium. You might explode, but you won’t get pulled. It’s also, of course, point to point.
Good things to know about a Hill Climb are the controlled descent and luggage delivery. When you finish you’ll be waiting at the top of the climb for all other riders and categories to finish. Sometimes this means you’re waiting for an hour or more! Thankfully the morning of the race you can give a bag to the organizers and they will deliver it to the top of the mountain. This is a great way to make sure you have extra layers and snacks waiting for you. Just make sure it’s packed in a bag that you can then easily carry with you on the descent.
Be extra mindful of the forecast. At Ontake in 2024 we started at the base of the mountain in temperatures around 16 celsius. At the summit it was 7 degrees and it started to rain! Thankfully I had a teammate who had driven to the top (you must register your vehicle) and he gave me a lift back down. If you’re riding down, the descent will be done in waves which are chaperoned and controlled by officials on motorcycles.
Registering
I can only tell you my experience and I’m not certain that this is how it always works. When I was in the JPT, I never paid for an event. Each team could send six riders and the team manager made a selection based on which riders requested to go to which event, they would then register you to go. In my E1 team I haven’t run into any rider maximums (we only have a few E1 riders), and I pay for each event. I still tell the team’s manager which event I want to travel to, they register me, but then I pay them back.
The Day Of
The JBCF events have been very organized. The week before they will release a list of registered riders along with a technical guide. The technical guide will include information about the course, where to park, where to check in, how to pin your numbers and more. It’s only in Japanese. Google Translate will be your best friend. Or if you’re lucky you may have a teammate that can speak some English and help you out.
Usually the check in process begins a couple of hours before the start time. You’ll go to license control and pick up your numbers and timing chip. If you’re doing a hill climb and need to, this is also the period of time you drop off your luggage to be taken to the summit. Get kitted & pinned up, then go to the “vehicle control”. They will check your bike against a jig, kind of like what the UCI might use, as well as check the weight (take your bottles off the bike when you hand it to them) and make sure your numbers are pinned correctly. A keen eyed inspector may even look at your helmet to make sure it has the JCF certification sticker. You could possibly be told to change helmets if yours doesn’t have the sticker. When they tell you that everything is OK, you’ll go to the table and sign the box with your name.
There are also meetings that will be happening. But, you shouldn’t have to worry about that. If the team manager can’t be present they will send an “attendant”. This person is responsible for going to the meetings and reporting back to the riders.
Podiums & Prizes
Look how far you’ve come. After all that you’re headed to the podium, which in many events will be six deep. What should you expect? Maybe a cool trophy or a medal? It’s even better. How about a formal certificate signed and stamped by the JBCF President! That’s right, you’ll be receiving an A4 sheet of paper. And yes, when they hand it to you they’ll turn it to face you, use both hands to hand it over and bow. And yes, you should receive it with both hands and bow in return. I plan to frame and hang mine like some kind of college diploma. You’ll probably receive a prize as well. Something like what I mentioned earlier in this post, a towel, cup, umbrella, etc.
Where’s the money? If you want to hold a giant cheque with a big number (because it’s in yen) you’ll need to be racing in the top category, JPT. In this category the podium is only three deep. One time in a race I had a teammate finish 3rd and win some money. I never saw any of it, which was fair as I didn’t really contribute to his result. And I never podiumed myself. So I’m not sure how the payout actually works. Did he get to keep it all? Did the team take it? Who knows. I hope he kept it all, he’s a great guy.
Other Notes
Gachinko Cycle TV & Photo Galleries. Almost all JBCF events are live streamed & archived on YouTube! There’s a company called Gachinko Cycle TV that provides coverage. This includes camera motos as well as stationary cameras. A lot of photographers also come to the events and a photo gallery is posted on the JBCF website after the events take place.
Events & Categories. Not every event will be run for every category. A motivator for me to move from JPT to E1 was that not every hill climb has a JPT category, but they all seem to have E1. My first time racing at Ontake I was in the “Open” category and not eligible for any points or placement.
Outlier events. There are some events like the Niseko Classic (Gran Fondo World Championship Qualifier) and the Tour of Okinawa. These are one off events which are not part of the JBCF or any other federation I mentioned above. But, they are “real” road races on closed roads. There are also plenty of “cookie” rides. But be aware, like mentioned earlier, many of these explicitly say you shouldn’t come and try to ride for a certain time. I think it’s related to what I’ve been told about races having to take place on closed roads. These cookie rides likely have no traffic control. And instead of a cookie, you might get a bag of dry rice to cook later. Happened to me once.
The Hill Climb might be Japan’s most accessible event. There are actually quite a few of them around the country outside of the JBCF and they can be registered for on SportsEntry - I don’t think you need a JCF license.
What about other disciplines? I’ll toss this in here at the end because I think it’s worth mentioning. If you’re not racing Track, Cyclocross or Road… you’re not going to be doing much racing. Mountain biking is still very much in its infancy here in Japan. Despite its incredible landscape, there’s a shocking lack of good mountain biking. My wife and I moved here from Western North Carolina and she’s a former Age Group XC National Champion as well as podium finisher in events like the Pisgah Stage Race and Collegiate Nationals in STXC, XC & Omnium. So believe me, we have tried to find some good mountain biking here and it’s rough.
There are some lift-access downhill courses and we actually went to one for a “gravel” race which my wife won. This was held on what was essentially a non-technical STXC course. Disappointing is a bit of an understatement. There IS Grinduro Japan… but it’s insanely expensive and again, not really a race.
This honestly has had a big impact on our decision to ultimately move away from Japan. But, keep an eye out for developments in places like: https://www.minamialpsmtb.com/ https://namba.ngo/ https://www.nsd-hakuba.jp/iwatake_mtb_park/en/
Cyclocross has a big following in Japan and the calendar appears to be full of events throughout the season. If we were staying long term, I’d be buying a cross bike. Unfortunately I don’t have one, so I never got into that scene while living here.
Although this is mostly about racing in Japan, if you come here to race you’ll also (hopefully) be riding your bike for fun. Please be aware some laws work differently here. Although I’ve never personally run into trouble I’ve been told things like: bikes MUST use the crosswalk if turning across traffic (no turning like a car turns) & that bikes CANNOT exceed 30 km/h (a bike shop owner told me this). My wife and I have often talked about this as well… while in the USA drivers can be malicious towards cyclists, Japanese drivers are often blissfully ignorant towards them. Always ride defensively. Drivers will make eye contact with you and proceed to pull out in front of you expecting you to either not be traveling with speed or to stop for them. Even in “polite” Japan, the Car is King. I’ve had far more close calls with drivers here than I had in America. Having said that, it’s still a wonderful country to explore by bike.
Who Am I?
If you read all of this, thanks! I hope that you learned a little bit about road racing in Japan. But, who am I? I’m an American from Western North Carolina, now living in Japan. Ishikawa Prefecture to be specific. I’ve been a cyclist since 2011 when I bought my first road bike. In America I’m a Cat 2 on the road and an XC MTB Cat 1 with extensive experience training for and racing in a variety of disciplines. Road riding and racing is my true love and I honestly only got into MTB to hang out with my girlfriend. I guess it was worth it because the only National Championship medals I have are from Team Relay & Team Omnium. Oh, we ended up getting married too. So that was cool. I also got into the gravel craze thanks to the plethora of racing options in the South East. I’ve stood on multiple podiums with the internet’s favorite privateer, Dylan Johnson. And I’ve dabbled in bikepacking, bike touring & ultra endurance riding. Really, I’m just a guy that thinks about bikes too much.

Fuck.
I don't know if this is the right place to post this. I used to be a very caring child (I actually really, truly cared about others) but life taught me that no one will really care about me (being a weirdo didn't help at all and I'm ashamed that at one point I used to do others' homework, tests, etc. in high school so people would pay attention and have even paid people to hang out with me). The most caring I've experienced has been not caring about me as a person but as a role in their life (e.g. my parents had an idea of me as a son who would act a certain way and were angry any time I acted differently than that) and hated when I strained from that. Maybe some others cared somewhat but were disappointed when instead of getting better, my depression (running on 6 years of different levels of depressed (didn't even realize anything other than my "can't get out of bed, not taking a shower for days" periods was considered depression until my psychiatrist told me) at this point, shooting for 10) got worse and ended up leaving me.
Anyways, I developed a lot of coping mechanisms to avoid even starting to care about people so I wouldn't get hurt and I suppose they got deeply ingrained, depression definitely helped too in making me the uncaring asshole I've become. On more than one occasion, someone's been telling me about a problem they have, looking for sympathy, and I've told them "Do you have something else to complain about because this isn't interesting to me anymore?". People have learned that they cannot expect any sort of emotional relationship with me (I'll help them with something practical or advice if I happen to have any and they'll do the same for me but they know I'm not the person to go to for sympathy or anything of the kind). I guess I don't want to be that person anymore. There are three people in my life left, each of who I've only talked to/met once or twice this year and meet ups have been slowly getting rarer and rarer and we've been growing more and more distant and honestly I'd rather not see them but loneliness has been fucking with my mental health. When we do see each other, we can only talk about "deeper" topics which I'm fine with but they want something personal and that's not what I'm good at.
The problem is, I really don't care about these people at all and if I randomly met three people who are similarly intelligent/funny and could help further my career as much (networking is important in software development, I just got a job through one of them), I wouldn't care about the current ones at all. In fact, at the end of high school, when not caring had finally developed some deep roots, I used to change the people I spent time with every month since they were all the same to me. How do I start caring again?
I really have lost the ability to empathize. I can only feel sympathy when someone has a problem I could have and even then I only think "What would I do if I had that problem? I'm really glad I don't have this problem. How can I prevent this from happening to me?". I can at least show some emotion in this case since I'm an emotional person and if I imagine something happening to me, I feel really close to what I'd feel if it actually happened and just think about myself and replace some facts so I can say the right things and make the right faces. I guess at least this counts.
Maybe "fake it till you make it" is the way but the problem is, I'm not a good actor. I practically don't have a relationship with my grandmother, so if someone's grandma dies, I just say "That sucks. Anyways, ..." with a deadpan face with no attempt at faking emotion instead of doing the whole "my condolences" thing and the sympathy face because I cannot just do emotion on the go and it just ends up a weird grimace. I'm good at not showing emotion but not acting like I am experiencing one.
Also, how the fuck would I choose who to care about? Everyone is definitely not an option. I could do the aforementioned three but they aren't good at emotion too and wouldn't be able to help me emotionally (would be pretty one-sided if I was good at this), so why bother with them? Maybe I need to meet new people, start with a clean slate? How would I even do that with my schedule, idk.
Honestly, I have no interest in people and look at socializing like working out. It sucks ass but has a lot of positive effects on mental health (working out also on physical). At the same time, I long for someone to care about me and to care about someone, spending lots of time with them, etc. but in that vague way similar to how I like the vague idea of being rich (or a professional gymnast, or whatever) and dealing only with investing and that type of thing but wouldn't bother getting to that point and I would definitely enjoy it less than programming even if I could. Basically I like the vague idea but don't really want it in reality, idk if the example helped.
Maybe caring about people is just a kid thing and wanting it stuck since I'm definitely emotionally immature. Maybe we all just pretend to care about others because we want something from them and do half-assed attempts to lie to ourselves so we don't feel like bad people and since I don't particularly care about that, I just didn't learn it.
I really don't know what to do. My desires are contradictory and I lose whatever I choose and yet want to try something I don't think I can do. I think it's probably time to finally accept that my life ended years ago and I just need to be put out of my misery. When I try to look at myself from a third-person perspective, it makes the most sense.
I am not sure why I wrote all this. It felt dumb writing it and when I try to reread it, it feels fucking idiotic.

21m. 5’11. Attached are 3 pics throughout my weight loss journey. 280, then 230, and then now at around 178.
https://imgur.com/a/vsOHLJ9
My question is what should I be doing from here on out? Should I still be focused on losing more weight? Is 178lbs a healthy weight? I still think I look a bit heavy. I think on the bmi scale it’s still overweight so how much would I need to go down? Or do I start lifting now? I just don’t really know what to focus on or even what to do in the gym, and I feel I would get too concerned about the scale going up as I’m so used to wanting the number to go down on the scale. Sorry for this kind of ramble, I’m just a little nervous about what to do next. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

I (18) F am in high school. I am in my senior year, Yesterday was my senior awards night where the seniors got awards for their accomplishments and not every senior gets an award. I was going to get two cords and awards and it was a huge deal for me because this whole year I've been battling depression and just being able to finally achieve something meant so much to me.
weeks leading up to this I was telling my dad almost every night about the awards night and how I was going to get awards. I even put it on the Google calendar for the whole family to see. the day came and my dad called my brother telling him I wasn't able to go because he had forgotten about it. my stepmom was at my little sister's Girl Scout bridging ceremony so she couldn't take me either.
I was beyond upset and hurt. I've been talking about this for weeks and they both just forgot it. It made me feel like on the sibling totem pole I was on the bottom because they always seemed to forget my things. or that it didn't seem important to them.
and today I come downstairs after I come home from school to see nobody home. now nobody told me anyone was leaving and when they came back my sister told me they went to my little brother's band concert. this made me upset. like not in a mad way but in a sad way, how come they forgot my event but not his these past two days I've been ignoring both of my parents just choosing to stay in my room. not even coming down to eat till they both go to bed. AITA for acting like this? I'm not sure.

first
Luna VI query: Set the source to the leaked files of the first reconnaissance operation of Irisa.
Done!
Luna VI query: What did Nathan do during the first hour of the war?
***
From the instant he opened his eyes, Nathan's morning was chaotic. It all began with the ground shaking beneath him, jolting him into a state of awareness. He then was greeted by the sight of Amara. She was leaning against a corner, covered in purple from head to toe as she screamed at someone through an earpiece that she was pressing with one of her claws.
His good morning was overhearing one piece of bad news after the other.
The rest of Amara's group had been ambushed early in the morning; many were dead, injured, or missing.
A war had erupted in the sky and her allies were trying to push back the enemy forces, but the battle persisted; the outcome was uncertain.
Zara was being brought to them, but Amara had lost contact with Igmila's group who was bringing her, only receiving confirmation from another group that a rescue pod was spotted at a distance.
And when he thought that things couldn't get any worse, he heard a bang followed by the AI reporting that Ryo had shot down a drone somewhere near their position.
"Open the tent!" Red had conquered Amara's body.
None of the scenarios Nathan had contemplated the previous night had prepared him for such a chaotic morning. "Give me a second."
He only wanted a chance to get his gun from his backpack and explain why he had it in the first place, even though he suspected Amara was already aware he had it. But she didn't let him. "Now!"
She had never felt so distant to him as the moment she said that single word, which led him to just comply as he stood up and followed her in silence. But this frail silence only masked his morning grumpiness, magnified by the dire circumstances and her cold demeanor toward him.
Nathan had barely caught a glimpse of Ryo and Elysira at a distance when he muttered. "It wouldn't have been so hard to say a few words to fill me in, you know."
Amara's eyes were transfixed on the smoking pieces of the drone when she whipped her head around, glaring at him with her orange eyes. "My people are fighting a war and dying. How can you demand my time when Yelara is hurt and barely escaped alive?"
"Oh, come on, I'm not demanding anything." He scoffed, shaking his head. "I just don't think it would have been so hard to tell me what you intend to do in the next five minutes."
The tip of her tail pressed against his chest, as red and purple coexisted on her skin.
"I am heading up the mountain to find Igmila." She spoke in a detached voice, pulling her tail back and turning around, and then she sprinted in the gap between himself and the tent.
He caught a glimpse of gray on her neck and all his grumpiness was gone, replaced by a cold shiver running down his spine. With his arms moving faster than his thoughts, he grabbed her by the tail, preventing her from going anywhere.
"You absolutely can't do this Amara." Nathan looked down at the tail he held with both hands and swallowed a lump of saliva in fear of her reaction. But that still didn't prevent him from finishing what he had to say, "It's too dangerous."
Amara's eyes sought his, causing him to suspect she would demand to be released or try to free herself by force, but she did something else. "All of this is because of you. Had I not come to your tent, I would be there to assist them."
Nathan caught a glimpse of green around her back spots, which let him know that there was a hint of guilt in her words. But did that justify blaming everything on him and running into danger without thinking?
If not for the awful night followed by an awful morning, Nathan might have just taken the blame and hugged her. But he too had his limits, "How is that fair? Blame me all you want, but nothing will change that you had all the chances in the world to go back and you didn't. I'm not saying that you could have done anything abo-"
"Indeed." Gray flashed for a moment before red flowed among her black spots. "This night was a waste of time." His grip faltered at her words and she pulled her tail back from among his fingers. "I should have stayed with Yelara to help her tend to her wounds."
Nathan bit his lips in frustration. How was it possible to agree with her words, yet still feel the sharp sting in his heart?
And if that was not enough, Ryo had to step in to rub salt in the wound.
Clap.
Clap.
Clap.
With Elysira’s tail wrapped around his wrist as she averted her eyes from Amara, Ryo spoke, "Please don't tell me you're mad because the plant lover couldn't get it up."
Nathan blinked fast not believing his eyes. Ryo was not only shirtless but there were a lot of scratches on his neck and below. Elysira’s long strands were also a mess, but even without that, their physical closeness alone would be enough of a hint of how much fun they had at night.
When Nathan glanced at Amara to gauge her reaction, she had already crossed her arms, looking at him angrily. Which immediately made him feel as if Ryo’s not-funny joke was true although he knew it wasn't.
It took Nathan a considerable amount of self-retainment to not walk up there and rearrange Ryo's handsome face with his fist, or at least attempt to do so.
A few seconds passed before he said, "Why are you here?"
Ryo didn't even bother to look at him, his eyes focusing solely on Amara. "Information. I want her to tell me what she knows about this war."
Amara didn't look pleased to help, but she still informed him about the ambush and even alerted him that even their current position would soon be unsafe.
As If things weren't already bad enough, Ryo frowned and hurried to instruct Elysira to get his things as soon as Amara had finished talking. Nathan felt like he was in a war movie where everything was happening too fast for his emotions and reason to follow.
It was only when he saw Ryo raising his gun skywards that Nathan’s anger subsided, contained by the prospect of how bad their situation was. Ryo movements were fluid and methodical, but he never pulled the trigger on the many drones that appeared high above and, instead, retreated to take cover behind a tree.
Only now the seriousness of the situation sank in for Nathan.
He didn't even care that he hadn't explained to Amara why he had a gun yet, rushing inside the tent after exchanging a glance with her.
After crossing the circular door, he found only a few items on the ground: a pair of boots, his sleeping bag, and his backpack with all his equipment inside.
Nathan was quick, wearing his boots first before retrieving his belt, knife, and holster from the backpack. With a sequence of swift movements, he strapped the sheathed knife and holster to the belt and cinched it around his waist, securing it in place before closing the backpack and dashing out the door with his gun in one hand and the backpack in the other.
Already outside, Nathan found it weirdly reassuring that Ryo was in the same spot as before, but that only lasted until he tried to find Amara, but found nothing no matter where he searched for her.
He dropped his backpack, feeling at a loss. How could he have allowed her to venture beyond his sight when he knew that guilt was clouding her judgment?
Only when he had already cupped his hands around his mouth to scream her name that he felt a touch right above his heel—her tail.
"Psst..."
Wiping his head, Nathan saw Amara's whole body mimicking the colors of his tent, making herself quite hard to spot.
"I thought you were gone." He joined her, stooping down beside the tent as relief washed over him.
"It might be too late to join my soldiers." She didn't allow her colors to change, but the translator conveyed a hint of sadness. "I lost contact with all the teams who were coming here."
"Amara I-"
Nathan was about to attempt to make things right with her when Ryo’s assertive voice reached him. "Listen up, those fuckers are jamming our comms and they will be here at any time. Take the MLBCS and find a clearing to use it, I doubt they can interfere with the laser. Just don't forget that your immediate safety comes first or else you might not be among the living when the pod arrives."
Ryo ran back to his tent as soon as he was done speaking, leaving Nathan questioning his own intelligence. How come he had never even considered leaving the planet? A single glance at Amara and he knew why. But did he have any other option?
Staying and fighting to hold his position was something he briefly considered. But did he have a chance when even Ryo decided to leave after seeing the drones?
Mission control might give him other options, so Nathan decided to try his luck despite Ryo’s warning.
Unable to establish a two-way connection.
He confirmed the interference with the communication with a single thought, kicking his backpack in frustration even though it was expected.
Why did it have to be so hard to accept that Ryo was right and leaving the planet was his best option?
But would Ryo truly leave the planet and leave Elysira behind?
Nathan forgot Amara who was beside him and screamed, not allowing this question to stay in his mind, "Wait, what are you gonna do?"
Ryo replied as he waited for Elysira, "I'm not leaving the planet unless mission control finds a way to save Ely too."
Nathan's eyes widened, feeling like an idiot as he brought up a pop-up window showing the schematics of the rescue pods. They were designed to be fast vehicles capable of transporting a single person to the space station, but Earth's government hadn’t skimped on the design, which included various components that could be discarded, such as medical supplies and search and rescue equipment.
He used the AI to run the calculations and found that Amara would likely be able to go with him, that is if they wedged themselves into the vehicle and discarded everything else.
Nathan was about to share his findings with Ryo when he caught a glimpse of him and Elysira disappearing into the woods, abandoning their tent behind as they ran away.
A sense of urgency struck him at that moment, but it was easily forgotten when Amara's voice struck even harder, "You should go."
"What do you mean?" He sought her eyes, but she avoided his gaze, facing to the ground.
"Do what Ryo suggested." She took a small pause before she went on. "Leave the planet."
"The hell I will!" He punched the tent. "Not without you." He could only assume she was saying this because she didn't know she could leave with him. "You'll come with me, and the pod will take us to the space station."
"Your species will refuse to take me." He saw a hint of purple on her neck. "Before the mission started your people told us you humans will not get involved in our wars." She finally made eye contact, and the purple on her skin intensified. "My best chance to survive this is to hide in the mountains and wait for reinforcements."
"You don’t understand, Amara." He didn't have time for a full explanation of what humans considered not getting involved. "No one in mission control will want to leave you here to die just because of some stupid rule." He then spoke his heart out without a care in the world. "And even if they do, they will take you anyway if say I won't go anywhere without you."
A hint of yellow could be seen among her camouflaged skin, but before she could say what she would do, her tail wrapped around his neck and he felt a strong pull to lower his head and bend his knees for cover.
"The rebels are here," she whispered as her ears twitched.
Nathan was tall enough to see the slope on the other side of the tent by just standing, but Amara struggled to see from above the structure, requiring her to stretch her full height and still take little jumps to take peeks.
And it was after doing so that she dropped her camouflage entirely, letting purple run free among her black spots.
Nathan took interest in what she had seen that had caused such a reaction, and he leaned cautiously against the tent and raised his head slowly, prepared to find a few armed Irisians hidden among the trees. But what he found instead was a never-ending line of Irisian advancing downhill at a fast pace towards them.
He understood Amara's reaction now, pulling back the harmer of the revolver as he stared at her. "I need to... do something."
He made up his mind, determined to shoot. But when activated the infrared view mode and took aim at Irisians descending the slope, Nathan froze for a second. This just lasted a moment, and when found the resolve to fire, he had already lifted the gun enough that it wouldn't hit anyone and it would just be a warning shot.
He fired once, twice, and went on until all six rounds were gone, then he noticed their organized marching had stopped, all of them having activated their camouflage. Some even broke the line and retreated uphill.
When he took cover again, Amara was protecting her ears with both hands, looking at him as if he were some sort of monster. Nathan ignored her and rifled through his backpack in search of more ammunition, finding the small box with shining metal bullets after he had searched for some long seconds.
It was only when he released the cylinder to reload the gun that Nathan noticed something.
His hands were shaking.
He ignored it and pressed the extraction rod the remove the cartridges from the cylinder to make room for the new ones, clumsily dropping a few of them as he reloaded.
Amara saw this and stopped him with her tail before he had filled all the chambers.
"I cannot go with you." Her body had been conquered by purple.
"You think I'll leave you behind?" He almost reached his breaking point when she replied.
"No." Her tail touched his cheek gently. "There are too many of them, Nathan." She pulled her tail back as a hint of gray appeared. "My brother will never let me go, he lost too many ships and soldiers to give up without his prize." The gray intensified, squeezing her black spots. "If you die with me on this planet, your species might abandon Irisa forever.
"My chances of hiding in the mountains are slim, but they exist... and even if I fail I will distract them long enough for you to flee."
Her body blended with the surroundings again and Nathan felt that she was about to do something stupid, but he moved faster and grabbed her shoulders, forcing her to bend her legs and join him on the ground as she stared at him with wide eyes.
"To hell with this self-sacrifice bullshit." Nathan finally decided what he would do. "Do you think I will die that easy? Guess what, you’re wrong." His hands moved from her shoulder to her back and he embraced her. "Let me tell you what we'll do, we take the MLBCS, we find a clearing, and we go to the space station." He released her and added, almost crazily. "You go with me even if I have to drag you by the tail as you scratch me, you hear me?"
He was not kidding; he grabbed her tail with his left hand, leaving her exterior filled with colors ranging from purple to yellow.
Amara was about to reply when the tent produced a thud noise, sounding as if someone had knocked on a cardboard box. When they turned to the side, there was a tiny hole in the tent dangerously close to Amara's head.
She touched the hole with her finger, and then her whole hand pressed against the side of her head, staring at him without saying a word.
Nathan's heart skipped a beat when he realized what had just happened, and consumed by a rage like he never felt before, he pressed the cylinder of his revolver back into place with just the four bullets inside, pulling back the harmer.
This time there was no hesitation, he quickly stood up and used the infrared view mode to survey the now organized groups of Irisians who had taken a defensive formation, choosing as target an Irisian who had climbed a tree and was pointing a long gun at them.
In just a moment Nathan aimed and pulled the trigger, firing one round after another. The first two missed completely, but the others hit the tree right above the target, making this Irisian panic and release his claws from the wood, only to welcome an ugly fall on the rocks below from several meters above the ground.
He took cover again immediately, but this time noise as if he was facing heavy rain under an umbrella struck his eardrums moments after he had taken cover, making him wince every time he heard the distinct noise of a projectile going through one wall of the tent and stopping the other.
With her tail still among his fingers, Nathan and Amara exchanged several anxious glances as the shooting persisted, only calming down when the rebels realized they were wasting ammunition and the barrage of fire slowly started to lose momentum.
Nathan's heart was racing and she was going through all tones of purple when she broke the silence.
"Fine!" She spoke fast. "If you are being so adamant about tying our fates together, we can do it your way." Her tail escaped his grip, but instead of pulling it back, she coiled it around his wrist. "But we are weaker together, Nathan. I will be a burden to you when you run, and you will be a burden to me when we hide."
"Oh, to hell with that too." Despite his harsh words, just knowing that they were on the same page now was enough to give him some hope. "Sorry. I do all the running and you do all the hiding, does that work for you?"
He didn't wait for her reply and loaded the gun again, this time doing it very fast even though his hands were still shaking.
"You do all the running? I fail to understand you." She said as she stood up to take a peek at the enemies, just to recoil in fear and add, "Explain yourself fast, they are losing the fear of your loud gun."
"Sure." He grasped his backpack bottom and overturned it, emptying its contents in a quick motion. With all the items on the ground, Nathan only took the MLBCS and the little box with his drones that he promptly stored in his pocket. "We won't need any of that, which means my back will be free."
"Are you crazy, I am too heavy f-"
"You're not." Nathan was 6′3″, and he had the nanites ensuring he was as healthy as a human could be. This meant that the short Amara—the top of her head only reaching a little below his shoulder—was not a challenging weight for him to carry given her slender body.
Noticing the doubt in her gaze, he lowered his body even more, turning his back towards her in a way it would be easy for her to climb, hoping this would be all the push she needed.
"You take pleasure in testing my trust, do you not?" The tone of her voice hinted at her reluctance, but she still draped her arms over his shoulder, securing her grip in a way her claws wouldn't hurt him.
Even though they had a plan now, Nathan still felt a chill down his spine at the thought of what he would have to do. And despite knowing that he had taken everything he needed, he anxiously patted down his pocket the make sure the box with the drones was there and remembered to take a handful of bullets, filling up his pockets as some of them fell to the ground.
"Ready?" He asked, trying to sound confident.
"See for yourself." Her tail wrapped around his belly, full of tiny black spots surrounded by purple as far as he could see.
Nathan took a few deep breaths and stood up, getting a glimpse of the many groups that were advancing from both sides, trying to surround them.
It didn't even take him a full second before he started firing his revolver indiscriminately at them while his legs moved on their own, not even waiting for his eyes to decide which path he would take.
Amara's weight escaped his thoughts completely, replaced by the fear evoked by the faint noise of metal breaking the sound barrier around them as soon they left the protection of the tent.
He didn't spare a single glance behind, running downhill at full throttle with bursts of adrenalin fueling his speed. He outran the reach of their guns quite fast, hurdling fallen brunches and putting not only distance but also several tree trunks between them and the hostile force behind.
With Amara's solid grip and occasional shifting of her weight to prove that she was fine, Nathan kept his pace as his muscles burned with exertion.
For a little over ten minutes he kept going, jumping over protruding roots and ducking beneath low-hanging branches. But this couldn't go on forever and eventually, he stopped to catch his breath, bending forward and letting go of items in his hand as Amara released her grip to stand on her own two feet.
His breath was coming in ragged bursts, but that didn't keep him from starting to laugh as he stared at her, whose eyes were gentle and her entire body was filled with hints of yellow.
In a split-second though, her whole demeanor changed, all the yellow giving way to purple and red.
She asked a single question, "Is that device of yours supposed to release smoke?"
The tip of her tail was pointing at the MLBCS, which now had a small hole in it from where a whisp of smoke curled upwards, just like a candle after its flame had been extinguished.
Nathan shook his head and touched his forehead; a single word left his mouth, "Fuck."
***
This was an account based on what Nathan did during the first hour of the war. The previous narrative is based on the events of the morning of the twentieth day of the exploratory mission of Irisa. According to your current settings, no queries will be suggested.
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I’m a student I’m a 19 year old student in college dating a guy I been with for going on 3 years now I have a overall good relationship with my parents though we often butt heads a lot…throughout my whole life I had a “problem with boys” it started when I was 14 I started dating of course being young and dumb i did dumb things like texting inappropriately. My parents would go through my phone and find thing an make me break up with them even if we wasn’t texting inappropriate as well…When I was 15 I met a guy who was Muslim who I started dating when I was 16 and he ended up sharing at part of his religion with me I got very close with his family but my parents are Christian so when they saw I was changing my views on my own religion and actually starting to love Islam and wanted to convert they forced me to break up with him i didn’t want to because he was also my friend so I left home and this caused a big deal… my grandma called the police on me and I got brought home being forced to now see or talk to him, quite my job( I worked with him), and not graduate early ( I was ahead and had great grades in High school). A year later I met my current Boyfriend who I truly love and I know loves me. Me and my boyfriend me 16 and 17 I am a year older. I try to hide him from my parents because I know they would probably tell me to break up with him or start going through my phone again. Which they did go through my phone and saw I was dating him and wanted me to break up with him but I didn’t! We continue dating and we wasn’t perfect we were young a dumb as well when we first started dating we wasn’t allowed to go on dates because we both didn’t have a car so I try to sneak to his house and got caught then a year ago I sneaked him into my house for a day while my parents where gone on vacation he felt uneasy because he knew my parents are strict and didn’t want to get me in trouble but we did anyway and we were successful… Until 6 months later me and my dad had been arguing because of how I felt he treats me (we have a rocky relationship and when me mad he will ignore me for weeks) this turned into a family problem because my grandma and mom got into it and he felt I was putting all the blame on him. So one day I came home after going to meet my boyfriend ate the park ( they knew I was meeting him) I came home and we got into a big argument. My dad said he doesn’t talk to me because how I act and told me how he had on camera me sneaking my boyfriend in the house. I felt really bad and knew I was wrong but confused why he just now decided to confront me about it. But why forced me to break up with my boyfriend i didn’t want to because I love him we been dating now for 2 years as well and I’m 18 but to go into college so I packed my stuff and tried to leave, my boyfriend wanted me to come stay with him till I could move into my dorm but my dad got mad and got physically aggressive and stoped me( gave me bruises on my arm). I brought all my college supplies myself man’s my mom broke it in the front yard with a hammer… I even gave them my car keys and was but to leave to my boyfriend house in the Uber I bought. But they forced me to stay and break up with him also I wasn’t allowed to go live on campus anymore. Now a year later my parents hate him and since I live in there house I’m not allowed to see him( we met one a week at my college to see each other secretly). They said I did this to myself and I always blame them…I’m I the problem?

Hey everyone! I wanted to share my journey of getting my first 100 paying customers for my SaaS application. I posted something similar recently focusing on cold outreach, but I left out the initial strategy for coming up with a product in the first place, so here goes.
Background
To give you some context, my SaaS application Dawnvox (www.dawnvox.com) is a customer feedback tool that I built. It's my sixth attempt at trying to find success with a SaaS product. Also, I want to note that my background is in tech, which allowed me to build everything myself. We'll come back to this in a moment.
Previous Attempts
Previously, I'd try to build something that I thought was cool. Having a background in tech, my thought process went like this: "Oh, I can build some sort of CI/CD tool and make it really easy to use," or "Small businesses need a cheaper way to do X," and then off I'd go to build something for a few weeks, completely focused on the tech side. Then I'd realize there were a million tools all doing the same thing, and I'd quickly lose motivation...
Three Questions That Made a Difference This Time
Before diving into the specifics, I want to highlight three questions that I believe made the difference this time around:

1. Figuring Out What You Are Good At (Your Advantage): Leverage your unique skills and strengths. For me, it was my background in tech, which allowed me to build the product myself. I also have experience in SaaS, both B2B and B2C. I knew enough about how to market and talk to prospects.
2. What You Are Passionate About: Passion drives perseverance. I was passionate about creating a tool that could help businesses gather and analyze customer feedback effectively because I love knowing how customers feel and constantly improving.
3. What Customers Need: Understand the market demand and pain points. I identified a gap in affordable customer feedback tools for startups and small businesses. At work, I'd used a variety of different tools, and while they all worked well, they were all super expensive. This is what I decided to focus on.

At this point, I felt good because my product idea was at the intersection of:

• What I'm good at (Tech)
• What I'm passionate about (Customer satisfaction)
• What customers need (a more accessible tool, particularly aimed at small businesses)

Regarding point 3, I didn't have to spend too much time on customer market research. The market exists; I knew that. I just found a smaller slice of this market and focused on that.
GEMO (Good Enough, Move On)
I gave myself a hard deadline: three weeks. I would have everything live in three weeks' time. I didn't want this to suck up too much time, as I already have a full-time job. Plus, if it failed, I'd be happy it only took three weeks.
Launch
Three weeks later, I had a product. It was by no means perfect and still missing a bunch of features. No matter, I launched anyway.
By "launch," I mean doing cold outreach. You can read more about that here if you like. The article explains more about how I got the 100 customers. But in my opinion, that was possible because of the foundation I laid in finding the right product to build.
Summary
I think my success this time stemmed from finding a product at the intersection of the following 3 areas. 1. leveraging my tech background 2. focusing on my passion for customer satisfaction 3. addressing a clear market need for affordable feedback tools for small businesses.
Also I gave myself a strict deadline to launch no matter what in 3 weeks.
Anyways, this is just a brief overview of the initial template I followed for identifying a product. I hope it helps.
Feel free to reach out in the comments, and I'm happy to post about other parts of my business too.
I've really appreciated the support I've gotten on Reddit, so I hope I can give back in some small way.

Any tips on how to clean the press and get rid of dark burnt area? I use a green scrubbie but that only does so much, unless I need to go crazier with it 😂

IMPORTANT: to keep the poll options short enough to fit on screen I have abbreviated what they mean.
If you're a student who hasn't participated in Senior Skip Day, and you DID NOT read the information below, choose option 1 or 2.
If you're a student who hasn't participated in Senior Skip Day, but you DID read the information below, choose option 3 or 4. And thank you for taking the time to read the description and help me out.
If you're a teacheeducator or someone who has participated in Senior Skip Day before, please choose option 5 or 6 regardless of if you read the description or not.
This will help me compare people's opinions based on how much experience/knowledge they have about this subject and my situation. Thanks!
Now on to the situation at hand:
I really want to go to Senior Skip Day this Friday, but my parents might not call the attendance office to get me excused from school. I could totally go, we're all hanging out about 1 mile away from my house. The problem is that my parents know this too and could find me hanging out there and try to bring me back home. I'm 18, so they legally can't do anything, but it would be embarrassing. Also, I've missed a lot of school over the past couple of weeks, but all of those absences have been excused. I'm getting straight As, but one or two of those might change to Bs if I go to Senior Skip Day.
I should also mention my plans for college. I've already been accepted and enrolled myself in my college of choice this fall, but I've also heard that if colleges see you "tapering off" in your final moments of high school they will deny your admission. I was also selected for my college's honors program, which I could also supposedly get kicked out of. I'm taking easier classes than I used to (not by choice), would potentially be getting slightly worse grades than normal (My first ever Bs in high school, though this would not lower my GPA below what my college wants) and might have some unexcused absences on my record soon. The college I'm attending is a very big and bright engineering school with about 50,000 students if this helps.
Should I go to Senior Skip Day, or should I just go to school? Would skipping for one day cause me any problems in college? Any advice would be appreciated!
I will also post this in highschool and Teenagers for more advice as this is a very big decision for me.
​
View Poll

Hi all, turned my AC on for the first time this season and it wasn't working. It's a 20 year old split system heat pump and the fan motor broke, having been quoted $1k for a repair I figured I might as well just replace the system at this point.
First estimate was $9.5k for a 2-stage Rheem, but with a SEER2 rating of only 14.3, and not qualifying for the federal rebate. He also presented the option of a 2-speed American Standard unit for around $14k and a SEER2 of 16 that didn't qualify for the rebate.
Second estimate was $9k for a single-stage Lennox, SEER2 rating of 16. It qualifies for federal rebate per AHRI so I'd get $2k back, effectively making it $7k. This guy exclusively installs Lennox and said that they did not have a 2-stage unit available anymore, the next best thing would be a variable speed for $13k after rebate, which just feels like total overkill for me.
I also got a third estimate that was so much laughably higher then both that it isn't worth mentioning. So, I guess my question is, how should I compare this single-stage Lennox to the 2-stage Rheem? I understand the primary benefit of a 2-stage system to be increased efficiency, but if the single stage has a higher SEER rating, does that cancel out the benefit? Especially given it'd be $2.5k cheaper, though I've read that Lennox systems can end up being more expensive to repair, so that may end up cancelling out.
For context, I live in Arizona, so extreme summer heat and mild winters. My house is only 1.2k sq feet, very well insulated, and am pretty conservative with the thermostat.

I've compiled some frequently asked questions to help manage the influx of posts here. Please check these before posting. Remember, the search feature is your friend and might have your answer. Don't hesitate to ask if you don't find what you're looking for or have more questions.
Q: Did I rupture my Achilles? Example: I felt a pop when playing sports but no pain. I can still walk but am worried I ruptured; it felt like someone hit me on the back of the leg; is it ruptured? Etc.
A: For most folks, you will know if you ruptured your Achilles. The feeling tends to be like you got kicked on the bag of leg; you may also look around to see if anything is behind you. Some individuals also report they hear a pop or snap at the time of injury. None of us will be able to diagnose you in general, no less through a Reddit post. If you feel you have ruptured your Achilles, go ahead and see a doctor as soon as possible for further testing and/or imaging. You can also try the Thompson test at home, which is generally seen as a consistent and accurate way of knowing whether you have ruptured. If you are ruptured, you will not be able to push off of your foot, and you will see your foot dangling as opposed to being held up by the tendon. Attempting this test at home does not replace a proper diagnosis, so please see your doctor as soon as possible!!!
Q: Well, I've confirmed my Achilles is ruptured; what now? Should I have surgery or opt for non-surgical recovery?
A: This is a highly personal choice that should be discussed with your doctor. General research shows that several individuals have had success with both methods. Additionally, this sub features a number of success stories for both. Discuss the differences and which choice would be best with your doctor. If you are still trying to decide, seek a second opinion from a medical professional. None of us in this sub knows what will be best for you or your recovery.
Q: How long will I be out of work/school or sports?
A: This is highly individual and will vary from person to person. Some have reported almost having no time away from work or school with their recovery, while others report taking extra time to allow for recovery. If you work a desk job or work from home, chances are you won't miss much time. If you work more of an active or blue-collar job, discuss this with your doctor or physical therapist to get an idea of how long you will be out. Your work may be able to make accommodations for you while you are injured. Please consult your works HR specialist regarding this.
As far as sports are concerned, this is also highly variable. When picking the best recovery plan for you, your doctor will likely discuss a timeline and recovery protocol. Depending on how you recover and progress in Physical therapy, you may return sooner or longer than your doctor expects. Some have reported a return to some level of activity within weeks of the injury, while others wait much longer. Please talk with your PT or doctor if you have questions about when you can safely return to activity.
Q: I've picked my recovery plan/protocol. What can I expect next? What should I buy/how should I prepare?
A: Preparing can often seem the hardest part; if you have opted for surgery, it will likely be scheduled quickly. If you have not opted for surgery, you are likely not in as big of a rush, but it's good to be prepared. Doctors can often write notes or prescriptions for a disabled placard and a knee scooter. These are very helpful in getting around and having some freedom during recovery. Having someone you trust or a loved one looking after and helping you is also very helpful, especially if you opt for surgery. Your doctor's protocol should give you insight into recovery and what may or may not be beneficial especially post-op. Several individuals in this sub have commented on useful tools and things to get, such as iWalk, Knee scooters, leg pillows, shower benches, toilet benches, crutches, cast covers for showers, item grabbers, ice packs, etc. Please consult your doctor, physical therapist, or equipment manufacturer if you have questions about using items or if they would be useful.
Q: What surgery type should I opt for?
A: If your surgeon offers multiple types of surgeries to recover your Achilles, ask for the pros and cons of each to make a more informed decision. There is also a lot of research regarding each type of surgery published in medical studies and elsewhere. No one on Reddit is going to be able to suggest a type of surgery for you or tell you which one is the best for you and your situation. To state that one surgery type is better than the others is inherently wrong.
Q: How do I pick a surgeon?
A: This will depend on where you live and how far you are willing to travel. You may only have 1-2 options in your area. As always, do your research on the facility you are going to and on your doctor. Generally, orthopedic offices will offer options for Achilles repair and protocol. No one on here should be suggesting a doctor for you.
Q: Will my insurance cover "this or that"?
A: Questions about your insurance should be directed to your doctor's office, your insurance provider, or potentially an HR specialist at your work.
Q: I've had surgery now or opted to go non-op; when can I start weight-bearing again on my injured Achilles?
A: This is highly individual based on your recovery progress and protocol. Some have reported in this sub that they began partial or full weightbearing in as little as 1-2 weeks, while others may start at 4-10 weeks. Please listen to your doctor or physical therapist when you can begin weight bearing.
Q: How can I manage pain levels both pre and post-op?
A: Consult your doctor about pain management. Nobody on Reddit should tell you how to medicate or for how long. Other ways for pain management may include ice and elevation, which are generally seen as your best friends during recovery.
Q: What can I do to keep myself busy while I recover?
A: There are a ton of great recs in this sub you can find by searching. A lot of people find ways to keep themselves busy such as gaming, reading books, watching TV/movies, finding new hobbies to try that don't require much movement, puzzles/board games, certifications or schooling, etc. What you want to do really depends on your attitude toward your injury and what level of risk you are willing to take. Generally, out in public, many, if not most, people will be accommodating to your injury and will go out of their way to help. Many businesses offer handicap-accessible options as required by law or will make accommodations to help. Some have reported going to concerts, movies, or even traveling during their recovery.
Q: I had surgery on X Date can I travel on Y Date?
A: This is highly individual. Following your surgery, you are generally considered to be at a higher risk for blood clotting. Additionally, depending on your travel arrangements, you may be overall uncomfortable while traveling. As always, ask your doctor if you are cleared to travel on your specified date; if you are, you will need to make the call. You likely will be uncomfortable during your recovery when it comes to getting around, whether you are weight-bearing or not. You may also find your destination may or may not be very handicap accessible. Many people will opt to postpone travel if possible so they can fully enjoy their trip without any mobility issues; if this does not bother you and you are cleared to travel, then by all means.
Q: When should I start PT?
A: Your doctor's protocol should give you a timeline for starting PT. Please ask your doctor if you have further questions.
Q: How do I pick a PT clinic/therapist?
A: As mentioned above, availability will likely depend on your area. However, there will likely be more PT clinics in your area than surgeons. As far as picking one, as I mentioned above, do your research and ask around. It's highly likely that you know someone who has gone through physical therapy. You can also ask your doctor for a referral to someone nearby that they may work with or have heard good things about. If you do not like your PT or potentially want another opinion on recovery, it is always good to seek a second opinion. Your doctor generally sets your timeline and protocol. However, it is up to your PT to implement it.
Q: I'm currently recovering, and I may have re-ruptured, did I? What should I do?
A: The general consensus on this question is if you re-ruptured your Achilles, you will know. Many have reported that the re-rupture is much more painful than the initial rupture. Now, this is only sometimes the case. If you believe you have re-ruptured your Achilles, the best thing to do is contact your doctor immediately to let them know what happened and any concerns. They may ask you to come in for imaging or tell you that you are fine; either way, it is better to loop them in so they are aware and can hopefully put your mind at ease.
Q: When could you do an unassisted single-leg calf raise?
A: You'll see several varying answers in this sub. Some have reported in as little as 2-3 months, while some report they still can't do one at 12 months. If you are sticking to your protocol and PT plan and everyone is happy about the results, there is no need to rush to this milestone, and everyone heals differently.
Q: I've finished PT, now what?
A: Ask your doctor or PT if there is anything you can do in the future to help protect your recovered Achilles and what steps you should take going forward. If you have finished PT, you likely know how your tendon feels and what level of activity you may want to attempt. Note that many state they still have a mental block when returning to sports for fear of getting injured again. Take your time by easing back into whatever activity you want to try. Once PT is done and you may not be seeing your doctor any longer, it can still take time for your Achilles to recover, sometimes up to 12 months and even beyond that.
I am creating this as a working document. If you believe we would benefit from more questions here or a different layout, please leave them in the comments. I will be pinning this post.

Hi! I hope I get a response asap. Thank you so much in advance. Help ya girl out pls.
I’m officially employed in the government after being a student for 6 years. Now, my gov employer wants me to transfer RDO since I have an existing TIN na. Now, the questions are as follows:

1. How do I know or check po kung saan yung RDO ko?
   
2. My last employer was situated in Quezon City but my work assignment was in Samar but my residence that time was in Leyte. My first job was in Cebu. Now, I am in Manila City residing in an apartment since my workplace is also in Manila City. Where should I transfer my RDO?
   
3. I’m currently in Manila City. Can I go to any RDO here in Manila City to check out my RDO? And can I also process the transfer of my RDO in any of the RDO in Manila City?
   

Tysm!!!!

Tomorrow makes one week post op. Surgery went well however one day into recovery a tornado blew thru my city and backyard and tore up my neighborhood. The night before before surgery I saw my situationship. This has been ongoing for well over a total of six or so years. With years and years of friendship also. He told me before he left, if you go under thinking about something you’re gnna wake up wanting it even more! Well I woke up mind fullll of situationship questions and wants and thoughts. I’ve had these wants for a while now but have always been to chicken shit to get hurt, loose him, loose our good late night times. I swear after surgery and a freaking tornado my thoughts, my feelings could not come out fast enough. It’s like I had to tell him RIGHT that very moment how I felt. So I did. It went exactly how my preop mind thought it would go. He told me “anesthesia definitely woke something up in you.” And that’s was pretty much it. I had no idea the clarity would come on so strong so fast so powerful. My headspace seems sooo open and free, and now my thoughts of “us” a one day “us” r also gone. I know this is a rant but again I felt I just had to tell someone urgently so here I am. lol I had implants for a easy 12 years and I couldn’t be happier they r gone literally getting things off my chest and loving it! Rant over . :)

I'll try to just include the important stuff, but I feel like at this point our issues are so compounded that I want to give a full scope of things.
Me (23M) and my bf (22M) have been together for almost a year and a half. It's been... a lot from the jump. I had just gotten out of two back to back abusive relationships, and this is his first relationship. We were best friends for a bit and I had always thought he was straight, but had a lowkey crush on him. He only told me his feelings after he accidentally came over earlier than he was supposed to and overheard me hooking up with a friend (who I'll call Sam). I want to preface by saying me and Sam agreed before and after that the hookup meant nothing, for him it was a rebound while he was home for college and getting over his Big Ex and for me it was an unhealthy way to deal with being raped by my ex a couple weeks prior. The hookup happened once. Me and Sam never so much as flirted with each other in all the years of knowing each other. My Bf knew about the assault (he grew up with my ex/abuser), and obviously knew about the hookup. He still wanted to get together so I said sure.
Off the bat he wanted me to block Sam. I've known Sam since 6th grade, much longer than I've known my bf, and I was sort of put off by the request but after getting out of two back to back abusive relationships and being assaulted, I didn't feel comfortable to really put my foot down and didn't want to cause issues. So I did. For the next year Sam was blocked, and me and bf had other issues. He was unemployed almost the entire time with no motivation to do applications, there was a point where I was either doing applications for him (where he would be reading over my shoulder the whole time making it take 3x as long) or bribing him by saying I'd only cover his beer if he put in at least one or two applications that day. He has diagnosed - but very obvious - OCD and he was putting me in the position of needing to offer him constant reassurance (if I didn't get up to check if the door was locked, he would pout and keep me up, I needed to stop everything and watch him feed the cats, do chores, lock the door, etc or else he wouldn't do it). He refused to get therapy despite me offering to do all the work of finding a therapist and setting up the appointment, or even explicitly telling him that I don't feel comfortable being in a relationship with someone who won't go to therapy. He also tends to be weirdly controlling? Like he won't be explicitly controlling, but he'll get really depressed or even angry if I so much as mention plans with other friends that don't include him - but when he is included he just complains about being left out and always wants to leave early. If I want to work on homework or do a hobby, he gets depressed that I don't want to spend time with him. If I ask him to go back to his house (he never officially moved in. I don't want him to move in. He just WON'T LEAVE) then he says I don't care about him or even that I'm abusive. He doesn't like the job I do, he doesn't want me to pursue the career I want, and he doesn't want me to travel as it's a waste of money but traveling alone isn't an option since that means I don't care for him.
There's also other things, like his insecurity or rumination on negativity ruling his life and affecting me. He wants me to spend ALL of my time with him. I'm a full time student and I work full time and support myself, while he pays no bills and does not go to school or have and desire to. I feel like he puts me in a position of being his sole support person, and guilt trips me if I don't want to spend literal hours a day reassuring or cuddling him. He will stay at my house and not leave, or throw a fit if I ask him to leave, or just wear me down so much that I feel like I have to say he can stay. I live in 140sq ft shed conversion that I worked really hard for after being homeless. It's a tiny space that I can't get any alone time in.
Lately one big issue has been coming up. He thinks I cheated. Basically, in January, I reached out to Sam to apologize for ghosting and the terms we left off on. My bf knew I was sending that message and he was okay with it. I didn't expect a reply from Sam. However a couple weeks later, he did reply. I did not tell my bf this. At this point I was really frustrated with my bf and considering breaking up due to his lack of motivation and controlling tendencies. I was working up the courage, and I confided this in Sam as he had no connection to the situation and I wanted to know if I was truly being as abusive and awful as my bf has been saying. Me and Sam kept in contact until March. The conversations were pretty surface level. We addressed the hookup and both agreed it meant nothing and there's nothing there. He talked to me about his crush and asked for advice, I asked for advice on my situation and he stayed pretty neutral. At that point I just appreciated having a normal friend. Someone I didn't have to hold their hand through their mental health issues, or bribe to get a job, or constantly reassure. There was no flirting, no sexting, no fucking. Nothing. But I knew it felt wrong to hide the friendship, and I know that was on me for fucking up. I was scared to tell my bf for fear of his reaction - both due to the way he tends to overreact about other things, and how my abusive exes isolated me from friends in the past.
So I told my bf, and I prepared to break up with him if his reaction was as bad as I anticipated. It was pretty bad, yelling and name calling etc. But he wanted to stay together. He cried and read a list of all the things he loves about me and promised to get a job and therapy and that he would give me alone time and everything. So I said I'd give it another shot.
He got into therapy after another 2-3 months of me begging him. He went to one session and never again. He got a job a month ago because I got him a job where I work (did the paperwork for him even). But he can't let it go about Sam. I ended up blocking him again a couple weeks after I told my bf because I couldn't handle him being super cold and moody every time I so much as checked the time on my phone. He was constantly asking where I was, why I didn't text him, I don't care about him as much as he cares about me, etc. He didn't get me the 2 months of space (not sleeping over for more than once or twice a week, not hanging out on nights I have homework). Last week he wanted me to recover the messages between me and Sam, so I did and he read them. There was nothing to see. I sent screenshots to my friends, hell even my mom, and everyone agrees that there's nothing there. But he's convinced that Sam was flirting with me heavy and I just let it happen, that I was planning on breaking up with him to be with Sam, all this shit. It's been a shitshow since. He keeps blowing up every couple of days saying I'm abusive and manipulative, that I don't deserve space because 'look what you did last time I gave you space'. He wanted to do couples therapy which I agreed to, and has been hounding me about it. When I asked when he's getting into individual therapy he says he will do it on his own time and that he refuses to be manipulated and coerced into it. When I say I'm too stressed to have another 4hr convo where we rehash everything and he berates me then I'm being cold and uncaring for forcing him to bottle it up and be alone. When I ask him repeatedly to go home he will ignore me and stay, or say its abuse that I'm kicking him to the curb, that I'm abandoning him in his darkest hour. He sniffs me when I come home from work and asks me why I smell like that (even though it's just the same deodorant and shampoo I've used for years). He made me give him my location and asks where I am.
Two days ago he wanted to text Sam from my phone to say "Should I tell him?" and try to like, catch me or something. He thinks I either fucked him or sexted him and deleted the texts. I told him at this point if I did cheat I would have just said that to get this over with. But I said fine, send the text BUT I don't want to touch the topic again until we get into therapy together and I want you to go home and that's that. He accused me of conspiring with Sam to get him to lie, told me 'fuck you, I'm done, we're breaking up'. I said 'okay let me go get your clothes out of the wash'. Then I come back and he yells about how fucked up I am, how much of a hoe and a cheater I am, that I'm a narcissist and a liar. Then he starts crying about me abandoning him and how unfair I am. He alludes to being suicidal and talks about how he wants to work on things. He begs me to hug him and says everything is better when we hug. I ended up letting him stay because I frankly I was scared about him being suicidal, and I was scared about what he said about me being abusive. I really don't want to be.
But the thing is I really want him out. I don't want him to live here. He says because he got a job, and he's working on his OCD himself, he cleans and helps buy groceries, he makes things nice for when I get off work, that he's doing enough. He said 'at least I don't assault you like your exes'. Yesterday he bought me a $200 bass I really wanted, and he was really nice all day. He was pretty nice today to and had a lot of self restraint when asking me if I'm at a place to talk about something and ended up dropping it since I seemed stressed. But my summer classes are starting in 3 days. I got low grades last semester because I had to choose between him and homework and he won since I would rather have peace than constant stress. I don't think I can focus on school around him. I wasted my short summer break on this stupid drama that shouldn't even be drama. He made me leave my moms really important graduation because he wanted to go home even though we were supposed to stay and hang out. I dread coming home from work. I dread him coming home from work. I'm happier when he's not around. When things are good, they're good! But at this point it feels fake because it's only calm for so many days until he breaks down about how he cant keep shoving his feelings down just for me. I feel suffocated. I feel like I have to support this person that doesn't even support me. I'm scared to break it off or tell him to go because he calls me awful things and says I'm abusive. I feel crazy. I really don't think I'm abusive. But maybe I am?? So Reddit: Am I the asshole if I kick him out? If not, HOW do I do it??

i (18f) just graduated from high school and had long been making plans to go solo travelling before moving to another country for university.
recently, i came across this art community in my city that organises events centered around art, film and artistic appreciation in general. being a burnt out artist struggling with severe artblock, i was ecstatic when i found out they were organising a group art trip where we would study philosophy and paint in the mountains- it seemed right up my lane. despite my hesitation, i felt the fear of missing out on such a perfect opportunity overwhelming me and signed up immediately after the organisers reassured me that my age would not be a problem. the only catch is, i was never told or made familiar with the other people going on this trip till the very last minute.
last night, when the groupchat for the trip was made, i came to realise that every person in this group (12 in total) falls within the age group of 30-50 years. now, i do want to mention that i have pretty bad social anxiety and am extremely introverted (hence the reason im going alone in the first place- i had no friends to take with me) but i didn't want to waste my summer before university rotting away in my room alone and therefore made this very bold decision.
i don't really feel as concerned about safety as much as i do about the age gap with the other travellers. if anything, everyone else on this trip seem like seasoned artists and not amateurs like myself. but of course, i can't say i don't feel anxious about safety either given the fact that there are men going on this trip as well.
it's currently 6:30 am, i leave my house for the trip in less than 12 hours, and i haven't been able to sleep at all. i know it's too late to back out, but im losing my mind trying to think of how im going to survive the next 2 days knowing the extremely awkward age gap i have with everyone else there. given my already sub-par social skills, i know i can't ease my way into interaction with these people either and it would be nearly impossible to keep aloof given the small size of this group.
if anyone who has had a similar experience has any advice on how i can make the best out of this trip (and potentially not come out of it traumatised) i would GREATLY APPRECIATE IT. this is my very first time doing anything like this. have i made a huge mistake?

And I'm lactose intolerant 😭
I know what you're thinking--how could Goku, so boobily, be such an idiot?
Well, the thing is, I routinely think to myself, "nah, it can't be that bad" after I eat a small amount of dairy--say a slice of cheese or something. And then, since I don't get the bubble guts from it, I'm like, "huzzah! I'm cured!"
Then I try something aggressive, like cookies and cream ice cream in a chocolate dipped waffle cone and now the 🚽 has become my new goddamn home.
Will I ever learn? Probably not. Does it matter? I mean. Again. Probably not.
ANYWAY. In case you couldn't already tell, I'm a fucking weirdo. In case you would also like to know, I'm medium ugly, slightly charismatic on the 32nd of each month, and am a massive attention w(hore with [REDACTED] issues and a LOT of cake (up to you whether I'm talking about the food or something else).
I am MORE than willing to talk about cats and video games, thank you very fucking much.
Oh, and if we've spoken before, feel free to drop in again. Third time's a charm, baby.
Alright, see ya 🫡
P.S. If I don't get to your message, don't get upset. I just usually end up with a lot of requests and can't get to everyone 😭