Relevant details: All fake names Myself: 33F Carl: 53M, oldest brother who I’m very low contact with Ronan: 42M, middle brother, married to Angie, 42F who is the kindest person I’ve ever known Jillian: 72F, our mom Dean: 70-something M, Angie’s father, terminal cancer Carter: Late-20-something M, Angie’s half brother Carrie: 30-something F, Angie’s half sister Leann: 45F, Angie’s sister
I don’t understand why Boomers don’t understand cutting someone off.
I was on the phone with my mom just catching up. She said she had spoken with Ronan yesterday and how he’s worried about his wife, Angie, taking on too much. It’s the season where her job is the busiest, she’s working on her PhD, and she’s trying to make the last of her father’s life as easy as possible, despite the fact that Dean is just kind of an ass. What adds to the issue is that her half-brother Carter lives with Dean, and he’s not the best either.
Carter’s mom passed away about a decade ago after a battle with cancer that she didn’t tell anyone about until the last few days. Carter was still in high school and it really destroyed his world. This led to him getting involved with the wrong people, extensive drug use, and Dean never encouraged his son getting help. My brother and SIL tried helping as much as they could, but you can lead a horse to water but can’t make him drink. When Dean was diagnosed with cancer (I can’t remember what type) about a year ago and told it was inoperable, Carter fell even deeper into depression. Dean has also spiraled since his wife’s death and while everyone has tried to be supportive, he has been unwilling. This has led Angie’s sisters , Carrie and Leann, to become low contact with him. Angie is the only one of his children who has never cut off contact. Angie was at Dean and Carters home this last weekend trying to get it cleaned up and she had an argument with Carter over the state of the house.
This is where my mom and I started disagreeing with each other. We both agree that Carter’s parents have failed him in a few ways, and that he’s old enough now to acknowledge if he wants his life to change, he has to get help and accept help. We both agree that Dean has been a really shitty father to all his kids, not just after the loss of his life, but his whole time he’s been a father. But my mom thinks it’s wrong of Carrie and Leann not to help out, if not for their father, for Angie. I think they’re in the right. They’ve dealt with enough BS over the year.
My mom can’t understand why someone would be so callous towards a sibling. I remind her that I’m low contact with my oldest brother, Carl. He and I have always had a rocky relationship, and if anything, act more like cousins that see each other every 10 years. It got to a breaking point last year when he had a drunken scene last year that had him throwing a chair at my partner. Since then, he has attempted to make amends with everyone but myself and my partner, and I’m fine with that. Ronan and Carl have been able to work out a relationship for my parents, and I don’t hold that against anyone. Same with my parents. It’s their kid and it’s their call to accept his apology. I or my partner haven’t been apologized to and probably never will be. If we see him at a family gathering, we’ll be polite. Even told him happy birthday. But I know for my own care, that’s about all I can offer. And she accepts that, so why can’t she accept Angie’s sisters having the same mentality?
It led to a slightly heated discussion, but we moved past it. But still, I just don’t understand why she doesn’t understand no contact/low contact. And I’ve noticed that with a lot of people who are boomers. Just because a person is family doesn’t mean they’re owed anything. So many of them like to throw around “blood is thicker than water” without acknowledging that the statement is actually “the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.”

TCAP:
5 Marvin Lakhan: This guy is way more fucked up than people realize because he seemed completely normal. John Kennelly is more popular due to his iconic voice/phrases and getting caught at McDonalds but Marvin is seriously fucked up. He wanted the decoy to fuck the cat with him watching, had graphic instructions that he definitely knew from viewing bestiality porn, and wanted to have sex with the decoy on her parents bed and in every room so she would never forget how he violated her. He tries to play it off like he was just joking and even Chris calls him out on how explicit his bestiality thing was. Tried to claim he wasn’t gonna go ‘all the way’ despite stripping naked in order to fulfill a deal so the decoy would do sex acts with a cat. Kennelly seemed to have brain trauma or some developmental issues which I think helped contribute to his deviancy but Marvin is 100% aware the entire time what he’s doing and unlike Wunderler who might have had the slightly more explicit bestiality chat (the PJ decoy said she had nightmares for years due to how horrible it was and it’s like a top 5 slimy I think on the PJ website). Fucking weird guy who needed way more time imo. I don’t think he’s reoffended but he needed serious help.
4 Lorne Armstrong: classic Lorne, can’t even win a list he’s rightfully on. I think basically everyone knows mostly everything about Lorne but the fact he’s only 4 on this list should tell you how bad it gets. genuinely believed he was in a committed, serious, albeit highly toxic, controlling and unhealthy relationship with a 13 year old girl. His chat is fucking disgusting. He gets jealous over Kayla’s dad’s corvette stating it ‘didn’t have his penis’. Called his dick Mr. Penis, raged over a made up 13 year old ex boyfriend. It’s just so disturbing and so apparent Lorne is highly sick and still to this day has never fully accepted responsibility, resulting in him becoming the community lolcow.
3 Walter Babst: this may seem strange given it’s not Rutherford who actually taught the age ranges of the decoy, but something about Babst just disturbs me so much. His chat genuinely is one of the only ones that made me near sick to my stomach and I’ve read part of Wunderlers. It’s so gross how he de ages all of his terms, he seems genuinely upset she started her period, obviously implying he wanted to be able to cum in her without consequences which is fucking horrific. He treats her like a doll and commands her what to wear, and the worst part of all of it is Babst is a smart guy. He immediately knew he was caught and going to be arrested, and that what he was doing was wrong. He obviously had been tortured by these demons for so long and finally couldn’t resist and decided he was going to do it. What’s even more disturbing is the guy was highly over qualified apparently to teach high school and is one of the only predators to ever have a better life after getting caught. He works at still and I believe is a manager or upper management at an engineering/physics firm I think? So did he become a teacher to sort of sate the desire? Maybe he was at the phase were merely creeping on his freshmen female students and catching some inappropriate down shirt glances or gross butt staring was enough to get him off.
2 Chuck Harding: truthfully, this guy and the piece of shit at #1 are so close in how horrible and disturbing they are it almost doesn’t matter. The decoy said they’re glad Chuck is dead and most of society should be as well. He was a serial groomer, likely rapist of multiple unreported boys. He told the decoy that he could be his grandpa, he wanted to go to Disney with the decoy in public and pretend that Chuck was his grandpa. He lived in Anaheim near Disney and I can only imagine the depraved shit Chuck did living that close it was NOT a coincidence. A disturbing, completely child porn brain rotted husk of a human who seriously had no qualms with what he was doing and even gets defensive and almost confrontational with Chris. If that was it I’d argue he’s still in my top 10 but then they find not only did he have CSAM, he had tons of it, mountains of it. Not only THAT, but some of it was dated back like 35 years old. NOT ONLY THAT, it was discovered that basically for that length of time Chuck had been a part of a CSAM exchange and honestly probably creation ring. An absolute monster, truly probably the worst person they ever caught, and again you can swap Chuck with #1 if that’s how you feel. Chuck’s segment is almost not even funny just like the next guy because of how absolutely disturbing and sick these men were.
1 James Wiles: Who else. Now comes down to your individual morality of what’s more horrific, being a 40 year long pedophile participating in a CSAM exchange and again probably also creation ring, or allowing your own flesh and blood daughters to not only be raped by yourself, but your sick brother as well. It’s just beyond the pale for so many predators, because it’s real. His daughters have done interviews I’m pretty sure and they said when he died they celebrated, that one of them had to take a picture and she keeps it to know he’s actually dead. Just a complete and utter piece of trash who I am genuinely happy is dead and if hell exists he is there. Horrific, disturbing, he’s like Westerbeck the improved edition.
Dishonorable Mention slotting between #2 and #3 imo is JPW. He’s just too fucking funny for me to put here but his life is insane and he did some horrible stuff, definitely could be on here had some of these other guys not been worse.
HVP/Takedown
5 Brian: This one will be short because outside of the stuff I want to really talk about he doesn’t have a lot of personality but something so he’s going at #5 below the next guys. This dude openly admitted to having had sex with multiple minors prior to the sting and ultimately what gets him on here is he is wearing and always wears the necklace one of his victims gave him, and it definitely seemed like he wore it for his own sick pleasure.
4 Donnie: This interaction is a top 10 of all time in my book. Takedown has a lot of stinkers and boring interviews and stings because there’s no long form decoy work, but wow, this guy and Brian, also caught in this sting are just doozies to me. Donnie wanted a dad to basically pimp his own daughter out to him, have the dad watch him fuck his daughter, then engaged in sex acts with the father and then all three of them would have sex together. He openly admits in the decoy interaction to an undercover cop posing as the father he’d done this exact scenario before or something similar and is sickeningly smug and ‘kind’ to the decoy portraying the kid. He states that parents should ‘be more involved’ in their children’s sexual development and exploration that it was good the father was going to participate in the rape of his own 13 year old daughter. His interview with Chris is no less shocking as he just further admits that he’s done it before and enjoyed it. Absolutely insane interaction.
3 Michael Gentile (or Popovich): These guys are almost the same in my book, slightly different flavors of disturbing and perverted old men. I’ll focus on Gentile. Just a fucking creep pedo who definitely had done this before, wanted to film child porn in his hotel room, only lived an hour away so why did he need a room? Very, VERY adept at grooming and knew instantly it was a sting when he entered. Calls his wife the witch and expects her to bail him out. His texts and voice mails and phone calls are absolutely vile and just pure filth. Really disturbing. Perhaps could be swapped with Donnie but something about the way he speaks, his confrontational nature with detectives despite having one of the grossest chat logs and decoy encounters, his evasiveness, just makes me rank him higher.
2 Jesse Velez: a bit of a cop out because it’s disturbing how this interaction went and how fucking smug this dumbass was realizing that Chris wasn’t really prepared. He is disgusting also no doubt. He wanted a 13 year old boy to live with him and ‘no one would find out’. It’s so disturbing realizing just how manipulative and sick these guys are the second they aren’t 10000% nailed to the wall. He gets arrested and all still but I would kill to see the world where Chris has the full chat and can obliterate this smug, condescending idiot.
1 Steven Buchanan: Who else (again). A short one cause his chat isn’t super outrageous, he’s relatively young, but the most disturbing thing about him is the ‘what if’ scenario. This guy looked unhinged. I don’t know why, if it was the military, if it was just something else that broke him, but this guy was dangerous without a shadow of a doubt. I don’t believe the items that constituted the kill kit were together, like in a bag, but even having those items is highly concerning. Really disturbing to watch and think about the horrible possibility of a real girl had been persuaded to leave her house and get into this psycho’s car.

I can't talk to any of my friends about this. Or anyone really, because I've never met another human being close to my situation. It's destroying me mentally, because as each day goes on and on I feel less and less human. To the point where I'm rejecting calling myself a "person," because of outside of the rest of the human race I feel. And why? Sex. It's the one thing.
I'm 31 years old a virgin. I'm an incredibly outgoing person, j make friends easily, and in my professional life my charm and charisma have gotten me very far. I put myself out there, and the answer is always no. Sometimes it's simple, sometimes they're shitty about it. All in all this has made me feel like I'm not enough. So far it's been proven that I'm fantastic, but not worth that kind of intimacy. Why do I say that? Because I am a broken man. Why am I broken man?
When I was 7 I was repeatedly molested by another boy who lived in the neighborhood. This made me severely depressed growing up and my parents were totally unequipped. My mother has a reputation in the community as being one of the most stressful, toxic, demanding, and cruel people they've ever met. There is a difference between people in my life between those who have met her and those who haven't. Those who haven't think I'm overreacting, those who have are surprised I'm anywhere near as functional as I am. My father was just absent. My sister hated me. Both my mom and sister, when mad at me, would tell me that I would be alone for the rest of my life and no one woman would want to be with me. So far they're proving to be right.
I like who I am, and I've put a lot of work into being someone worth being...but I'm not happy with the results. Why? Because I've only met one person in my life who wanted to be with me, and she changed her mind, and meanwhile I have been sexually assaulted by 7 different people. Both men and women.
Sometimes it was simple. Getting groped and grabbed at concerts, mild in comparison. The last woman who came into me, when I turned her down, she threatened to rape me. The first woman in my life to ever show a genuine sexual interest me, she escalated things to the sexual quickly. It was so nice, so validating, to be seen and desired like that. According to my friends they've never seen me so confident as I was in that scenario. Shortly thereafter I found out she was falsifying her identity. She wasn't a teacher in Manhattan. I don't know who she was. The only person I've ever expressed my sexual self to and she wasn't a real person. I saw the red flags, but I was so desperate for new memories I ignored them. I didn't want to be drawn back into my childhood every time I have a sexual thought or feeling.
I get rejected a lot. It's usually the same thing over and over: you're the perfect man. Safe, conscientious, empathetic, intelligent, emotionally intelligent and aware, but something's just missing.
I don't know what to do because the only conclusion I've come to is "I'm attractive enough to be worth raping, but not lovable enough for genuine intimacy." I can't shake this thought. There's nothing I can do to get rid of it. I've been in therapy for fifteen years, and I've worked on myself as much as I can. I don't think I'm ever going to be able to come to peace with this. I think about all the assaults everyday. And while I don't think losing my virginity will fix all my problems...but I kinda do. Because the problem is that 100% of my associations with sex are violence, and people who want to take my agency away from me. And I'm a man. We're judged by our ability to have sex, and I'm so afraid of my own sexual feelings and other people's sexual actions, that I have effectively been psychologically castrated. There is an extreme dissociation where my sexual self is totally sequestered away from the rest of me. Nobody wants that, and the only people who do want to hurt me, so it doesn't belong in the light of day.
This is my experience with sex. It makes me feel decidedly different from the rest of the human race, because no one gets it. I am in psychic pain always.
I've always centered at my world view a defiant love for humanity in spite of all of its gruesomeness. I, having been what I've been through, always felt that to love others is my purpose. I am on Earth to be kind, caring, and loving. It's my nature as an individual. I'm at my wits end though, and I fine myself starting to hate humanity, something I've always had a deep love for. And with that hatred is coming a loss of purpose. I am having a severe existential crisis over this, and find everything I value in myself evaporating. It feels as if things are going to go white, that who I am is going to disappear, and I'm gonna be on autopilot from here on out. I find my patience and empathy for others waning because I don't have space for it anymore. I was sexually abused as a child, but I've never been held while crying. That dissonance right there is indescribably painful. It has made me a broken man.

Now that we’ve come down from the climactic high of Penelope (Nicola Coughlan) and Colin’s (Luke Newton) scintillating carriage ride, we need to talk about the other couple steaming things up in Bridgerton Season 3 Part 1: Anthony (Jonathan Bailey) and his beloved wife Kate (Simone Ashley). While the newlyweds don’t have a ton of screen time in this season of the Netflix hit, they make the most of it. Kate has deftly assumed the mantle of Lady Bridgerton while Anthony is a man consumed with one thought: to bone his wife. It’s honestly delightful to watch! Jonathan Bailey plays Anthony Bridgerton with almost unhinged levels of horniness for his wife in Bridgerton Season 3! He must make love to her all the time! Take her on her writing desk! Interrupt a conversation to dance — and kiss! — her in front of the ton!
The carriage ride might have been the most scintillating scene in Bridgerton Season 3 so far, but Anthony Bridgerton is the character most obsessed with sex, and I love it!
Bridgerton Season 2 offered fans of the Shondaland show something of a slow burn compared to what we’ve seen in Seasons 1 and, now, 3. Bridgerton Season 2 was a loose adaptation of Julia Quinn’s The Viscount Who Loved Me, a story about how in his quest to find the perfect bride, Anthony Bridgerton gets fabulously in his own way. Anthony decides that he is going to pursue the “diamond of the season,” Miss Edwina Sharma (Charithra Chandran). The problem is he clearly sprung on her spirited older sister, Kate. The two deny their feelings, out of concern for Edwina, and in doing so prolong their yearning. When the two finally do consummate their romance al fresco, it’s quick, illicit, and hot. But all too short.
Photo: Netflix
“Kanthony” fans may have eventually gotten the happily ever after they were looking for, but not the euphoric honeymoon montage that made Bridgerton Season 1 so popular. Sure, Jonathan Bailey gave us moments like Anthony being turned on by Kate’s scent, but the heartthrob really wasn’t able to let loose the character’s inner freak. Well, that is, until now.
Bridgerton Season 3 finds Kate and Anthony in the throes of newlywed bliss. The uptight Anthony of the past no longer feels the need to micromanage his family’s affairs, finally trusting Benedict (Luke Thompson) to fill in and sister Francesca (Hannah Dodd) to move about the marriage mart at her own speed. Instead, Anthony has a new mission consuming his every thought and that’s how much can he make his wife come. (No, but seriously, even Kate has to point out that most of his endeavors are for her pleasure and not to actually conceive an heir.)
What makes all of this so darn steamy and so incredibly charming, though, is Jonathan Bailey’s performance. Over three seasons, Bailey has mapped a journey for Anthony from grief to joy. When we spoke with him all the way back in 2020, ahead of the Bridgerton Season 1 premiere, Bailey not only opened up about how Edmund Bridgerton’s (Rupert Evans) sudden death left a void in Anthony’s life, but put him in a high-pressure position.

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“At the age of 20, he not only lost his father, but became the head of a family. Suddenly, he had to be the surrogate father to a lot of his amazing siblings, and a sort of surrogate husband to his mother,” Bailey said. “He doesn’t have any space to make any mistakes. He’s making them under such high pressure. His self esteem just really suffers.
“I just want him to be okay. I want to see him smile. And I want to see him dance. Because he deserves the happiness afforded to other characters much earlier in their lives.”
What we get to see in Anthony Bridgerton in Bridgerton Season 3 is the culmination of that wish. Through his romance with Kate, Anthony has found the life partner who relieves that pressure gauge. He gets to smile. He gets to dance. He gets to make love to his beautiful wife whenever he wants, which is all the time!
Anthony vibrates with joy in every Bridgerton Season 3 scene we’ve seen him in so far. It’s not simply a guilty pleasure to watch him pounce on Kate, but a glorious conclusion to the story that Bailey has been devoted to since Bridgerton Day 1.
https://decider.com/2024/05/21/bridgerton-season-3-jonathan-bailey-anthony-horny-kate/?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=twitter

Mom (early 70s) and I (F, early 40s) are super close, we’re the only family we have. She lives a couple states over and wants to come and visit for a week. The last time I saw her was for her birthday a little over a year ago and before that, it was well before the pandemic. We don’t see each other often but we call and text frequently.
Mom is a pack-a-day smoker. All growing up, my father, mom and grandma were all heavy smokers and they did it inside the house with no ventilation, even as I was a baby. Mom says she stopped smoking when she was pregnant with me but started right back up after I was born. As a result, I still have permanent breathing and lung issues. I know just how bad the smoke smell permeates into EVERYTHING. Even if someone doesn’t smoke inside, just the smell of their clothes is enough to leave an odor. I can’t tell you enough how disgusting I find cigarette smoke to be. I was bullied growing up because I stunk all the time.
I bought a little camper trailer a couple years ago. It’s tiny, about as small as you can get but still have all the amenities like a shower and a kitchen sink. It’s a comfortable studio apartment on wheels that stays at the house when it’s not in use. She wants to come and stay and use the camper. She says she’ll smoke “right out side so it doesn’t stink up the inside”. I tried to explain that smoke travels.
This also isn’t about money. When my grandma died (her mom), she was left with a large chunk of change. She still won’t tell me how much (which is weird, seeing as we’re so close) but I do know it was over $1.5M and that she’ll randomly drop $50k on things like a new car. There was also my grandma’s house that was paid off and sold, I do know she made $500k off that and that her current house is paid off. She was a lawyer, made a ton of money, and saved it all. I understand that money goes quick and she worked hard for it. She's quite comfortable in retirement.
Good for mom, be smart with your money. Don’t want to tell me how much you have, fine, none of my business. But mom, please get a hotel room while you’re here. There are quite reasonable priced rooms around where I live, it’s not like I’m in NY or anywhere crazy expensive. I’ll pick you up and drive you back every day, we’ll spend lots of time together. I just don’t want you stinking up my little camper. AITA?

Anyone that’s followed my posts on here knows that this hasn’t been easy for me.
Hell… it’s not easy for anyone. Not a single one of us were prepared for what we’re going through and know how to go about it.
Personally it’s been the hardest thing I’ve ever went through and it’s still not really letting up. It’s not easing up because it’s either the next “last” thing or it’s the first thing “new” thing.
As an example my kids and I just met my wife’s girlfriend and her kids for the first time a few days ago. I was not looking forward to it, dreaded it for weeks as the days counted down. As we got closer to the destination where we were meeting up my anxious tick of rubbing my fingers and thumb together started going crazy and I was nearly in tears because the trip there was the last I would see us as my old family and once we got there I would witness the start of their new family. (Just for context I was invited to come, not forced.) it was extremely hard. The girlfriend and I were both really nervous so we didn’t really speak but were polite and my wife and her were caring enough not to be super coupley in front of me because they didn’t want to make it any harder on me which I appreciate. It was very difficult but I made it through. And the girlfriend’s kids were awesome and our kids practically made new best friends with them. They even let me play with them and I got an unexpected hug and got to joke around with them. This isn’t what I wanted by any means but they included me in this new “first”, not in a hateful throw it in my face kind of way but in a “you can and we would like you to be involved in this” kind of way. I’m not being forgotten, I’m not being tossed to the side like trash. This is just how it is now but I’m able to be involved if I wish to be. I was even told about a conversation my ex and her gf had about gfs son when he grows older who’s going to teach him how to shave (I never actually thought about that before) and the gf asked my ex if maybe I would be willing to teach him when the time came. And honestly I think I’d be okay with that. Although the day really hurt and was really tough and I never would want anyone to go through this, it ended up being I think a success. I made it through, they were considerate of me, and the kids loved it.
But…… just the day before I blew out my voice because I had been made so angry I had to go for a drive to try and calm down and not explode around my kids. While driving I just started screaming and ended up ruining my voice. That was 4 days ago and it’s still pretty bad.
There’s bad days and worse days. And if you’re lucky every now and then there’s a good day. 7 months in people are finally coming out and quieting showing me support through texts and telling me their thoughts and hopes that I’ll be okay and saying they care about me. This whole time I’ve only heard support for her for the most part. It’s finally feeling like I haven’t been forgotten in all of this and what I’m going through is being acknowledged and I’m being told their proud of me for what I’ve done and how I’ve done it. It doesn’t fix anything but it feels nice to finally be seen a bit in all this.
And then today is my birthday. And I woke up with my youngest coming into the living room telling me happy birthday as I climbed off my couch/bed. I was given gifts by my family, my kids and my ex. And we’re spending the day doing some stuff together.
This post might seem like it’s all over the place because…. It is. And that’s the type of “journey” we’re going to have through all of this. It’s all ups and downs, back and forth, bad/baddeworst/ and hopefully some good here and there. It’s fucking crazy and doesn’t make sense.
But my main purpose of this post is that I want to remind everyone that everyone’s journey is going to be different. I think I’ve said before that my situation is unique in a unique situation. I’m not dealing with just a normal divorce, I’m dealing with a divorce where my wife came out as gay, and not only that but we had a good marriage were we worked well together and weren’t fighting, but also were trying to make this all work out and us still be best friends while being good for the kids. Not everyone’s scenario is going to be like mine, we have different goals, different endings, different path, and all of this with different people.
I’ve been told by many many people that I should pretty much burn my ex at the stake, take the kids and run, she’s the devil and is a horrible person, and whatever. That’s not necessarily my scenario or my/our goal in all of this so that advice doesn’t help. But in some cases for others that may be the advice that’s needed.
All this to say, do what is best for you in your situation. Do what’s best for yourself and your specific relationships. We’re all in this together but remember we are all in different places coming from different unique situations in our unique situations.
I know I’ve got ALOT more pain still to go through, I’m not past all of this yet. I have a lot more new “firsts” to navigate. Come tomorrow I might be back on here crying.
But that’s okay.
And it’s okay for all of you to be crazy and feel different every day/houminute/second.
Try and be kind and patient. It’s a lot easier said than done but just keep trying.

My mother and father increasingly over the course of my life have become really fundamentally incompatible in many ways. My mom has expressed multiple times that she’s not happy and that no matter what she says my dad won’t change his behavior that’s ruining their marriage. She’s said that she has contemplated divorce before but I’ve never said anything during these conversations, just let her vent. The truth is though, I also feel that my dad hasn’t benefited our family at all. He’s been emotionally checked out from me and my sister for a while now and he doesn’t even know some basic things about me because he just doesn’t bother to ask and I don’t feel comfortable sharing. I feel like all he does is criticize and judge my decisions and I’m tired of it. My sibling and I currently still live at home so we deal with this on a daily basis. We’re trying to move out. I honestly think though divorce might be the solution to our family’s problems. I don’t not love my dad but our family just isn’t working anymore. Should I tell my mom I agree that she should get a divorce?

I have a birthday today 🥳
My narcissistic ex behaved badly the day after Valentine’s Day, so I left. I hoped he would change, and that’s what he was communicating to me. He apologized for his bad behavior (for the 1000th time 🤦🏻‍♂️), and I thought, "Well, you love him and promised never to leave him," so I struggled for weeks until he decided that his “narcissistic” traits and freedoms (hookups) were more important than me.
I was crushed and heartbroken because he was so mean and sarcastic, and put me through hell, but always insisted he would change and how much he loved me. For everyone out there - look for actions, not words!
After that, I sent him paragraphs explaining what he caused and how much he hurt me, only to get small or no response. So I cried and suffered, but then... I stood up (you can’t wear a crown with your head down) and I decided that never again will any man treat me with disrespect. I did nothing wrong and I deserve to be loved and treated with respect. The last time I saw him, I told him it was the last time he would see me.
Fast forward to the weeks after, he tried to “establish any form of connection.” NO REACTION from my side.
He blew up trips we bought - fine, I will survive (I felt very sad but didn’t show it to the public who knows him). He canceled my trip ticket shortly before my birthday even though he still had plenty of time ahead - fine, I wouldn’t have gone with him anyway.
So, I was very surprised when he sent me an email today congratulating me on my birthday and wishing me all the best, ending with “much love (his name).🤦🏻‍♂️”
To be honest, I would have preferred he not write me. He is blocked everywhere else, so the message was clear. I think he realizes that I was the good one and that finding a man like me could be difficult, but it’s his problem now.
Stay proud and be happy. We got this ;)

I have a birthday today 🥳
My narcissistic ex behaved badly the day after Valentine’s Day, so I left. I hoped he would change, and that’s what he was communicating to me. He apologized for his bad behavior (for the 1000th time 🤦🏻‍♂️), and I thought, "Well, you love him and promised never to leave him," so I struggled for weeks until he decided that his “narcissistic” traits and freedoms (hookups) were more important than me.
I was crushed and heartbroken because he was so mean and sarcastic, and put me through hell, but always insisted he would change and how much he loved me. For everyone out there - look for actions, not words!
After that, I sent him paragraphs explaining what he caused and how much he hurt me, only to get small or no response. So I cried and suffered, but then... I stood up (you can’t wear a crown with your head down) and I decided that never again will any man treat me with disrespect. I did nothing wrong and I deserve to be loved and treated with respect. The last time I saw him, I told him it was the last time he would see me.
Fast forward to the weeks after, he tried to “establish any form of connection.” NO REACTION from my side.
He blew up trips we bought - fine, I will survive (I felt very sad but didn’t show it to the public who knows him). He canceled my trip ticket shortly before my birthday even though he still had plenty of time ahead - fine, I wouldn’t have gone with him anyway.
So, I was very surprised when he sent me an email today congratulating me on my birthday and wishing me all the best, ending with “much love (his name).🤦🏻‍♂️”
To be honest, I would have preferred he not write me. He is blocked everywhere else, so the message was clear. I think he realizes that I was the good one and that finding a man like me could be difficult, but it’s his problem now.
Stay proud and be happy. We got this ;)

I have a birthday today 🥳
My narcissistic ex behaved badly the day after Valentine’s Day, so I left. I hoped he would change, and that’s what he was communicating to me. He apologized for his bad behavior (for the 1000th time 🤦🏻‍♂️), and I thought, "Well, you love him and promised never to leave him," so I struggled for weeks until he decided that his “narcissistic” traits and freedoms (hookups) were more important than me.
I was crushed and heartbroken because he was so mean and sarcastic, and put me through hell, but always insisted he would change and how much he loved me. For everyone out there - look for actions, not words!
After that, I sent him paragraphs explaining what he caused and how much he hurt me, only to get small or no response. So I cried and suffered, but then... I stood up (you can’t wear a crown with your head down) and I decided that never again will any man treat me with disrespect. I did nothing wrong and I deserve to be loved and treated with respect. The last time I saw him, I told him it was the last time he would see me.
Fast forward to the weeks after, he tried to “establish any form of connection.” NO REACTION from my side.
He blew up trips we bought - fine, I will survive (I felt very sad but didn’t show it to the public who knows him). He canceled my trip ticket shortly before my birthday even though he still had plenty of time ahead - fine, I wouldn’t have gone with him anyway.
So, I was very surprised when he sent me an email today congratulating me on my birthday and wishing me all the best, ending with “much love (his name).🤦🏻‍♂️”
To be honest, I would have preferred he not write me. He is blocked everywhere else, so the message was clear. I think he realizes that I was the good one and that finding a man like me could be difficult, but it’s his problem now.
Stay proud and be happy. We got this ;)

I (24f) have a small problem and ask for food forthought or similar experiences.
I moved in with my boyfriend 2 years ago, I lived with my little sister, my mom and stepfather (not married yet) for 11 years before that. My parents are divorced and I no longer have any contact with my father. My sister was always the more difficult child, which is why I have fallen into oblivion a lot and my mom's insight came very late (about 3-4 years ago). I've been in therapy for six months and at first I thought my job was to blame for my severe depression. Over time it turned out that my mom gave me a lot. She manipulates me, works with my guilty conscience and she is never the one to blame. I was also her best friend for a long time and had to help her through her problems, sometimes in ways I had never encountered. Since I moved out, my relationship with my mom has been weird. At first I was the angry one because I didn't get in touch every day and we didn't see each other regularly. Then my boyfriend and I got engaged, and shortly after that she got engaged too. She was also angry or disappointed about something on the day I moved out, I still don't know what it was. My therapist wants to work on me (just like me) to build some kind of protective shield against my mom's ways so that she can no longer control me like her puppet, where I thought we were on the right track. Now the situation is getting very bad, they are getting married soon and I should be the witness. Since I didn't integrate myself into the wedding (actually very intensively from the beginning, only not since therapy) and it would be too much for me, I'm no longer one and we have something to clarify. I would show a lack of interest in my mom's situation and not report anything, in this case regarding the health of an animal that almost died. She was diagnosed with depression herself and knows how I feel, but I regularly notice that she doesn't know anything. Because of the illness, I have certain behavioral traits that aren't nice, the therapist doesn't do me any good, I should change and no matter what it's about, the question arises as to how WE can solve it all, but I didn't ask about it. I feel like I can apologize to her every two weeks because I hurt her in some way, although I have to do this much less with my boyfriend and I live with that... in therapy it also came up that my mom's feelings and health is my highest priority, which is different now. Now the whole thing is coming to a head because I've been told repeatedly that I'm not the same as I used to be and that it's difficult to get together. I replied accordingly that I was now developing further and I would be happy if they would give me a chance (I had the feeling that I wasn't accepted) and we would work together to get together. Her answer “I haven’t changed, why should I work on anything?” The feeling of being rejected was very present for me, which is why I wanted to isolate myself, but we spoke on the phone and she never wrote anything like that, if she didn't want me anymore, she wouldn't talk to me anymore. She apologized for the feeling, and in the same breath she asked what else she should do and why I was harping on about it. For a mother who has just been told that her child feels rejected, she struck me as very emotionless and unimpressed. I would just throw accusations at her, but she has already apologized, what do I expect was a statement from her. I've now set aside time for myself, because their wedding in a month was also a topic, and I first asked if we could still come and then got a "What else do you want at my wedding" before the phone call, which was for me is considered a clear disinvitation, but she wants me at the wedding?
I've heard from a lot of people that she's narcissistic and there's also a lot of talk about breaking off contact... How do you see it all? Do you have similar experiences? If something is unclear please ask

I’ve been on Zepbound since the beginning of February, and have had a great experience so far. One month of 2.5, and now staying at 5.0. Very minimal side effects (slight nausea, manageable constipation). Down 25 pounds (need to lose 40 total) and losing 1-2 pounds per week. Very happy with that. However, the main reason I started Zepbound was my health and family history.
I’m 56w and my A1C was 5.6 (one tenth less than pre-diabetic). Both my parents are / were T2D and I see what my father goes through with the shots and pills, and I do NOT want that for myself.
After menopause my cholesterol started creeping up… LDL going up each year reaching 156 before I started Zepbound, even though I eat very low cholesterol, I eat the good food, and I exercise. Doc wanted to put me on statin, but was on board to see how the Zepbound worked and keep monitoring closely. My mom also had high cholesterol and heart disease, and died of a heart attack then stroke at the early age of 70, with major blockages stents, etc. Also not something I don’t want for myself, especially with two teenage / pre-teen children.
My PCP sent me for bloodwork, after 3.5 months on Zepbound, and she said I should definitely see results. My A1C is down to 5.3, LDL is 130. So it’s all trending in the right way, but my LDL is still high, and that’s the one that makes me the most nervous. My plan/hope was to continue on Zepbound maintenance for the rest of my life… one medicine to address diabetes, cholesterol, heart disease, and overweight. My initial insurance PA expires in October… will these results be enough to get them to approve ongoing maintenance? Will I see continued improvement in the labs in the next 3 months?
I’d love to hear your experiences with lab work and if it continues to reduce the LDL past 3 months? When did it level out? Were you able to get insurance approval for maintenance?

Relevant information first off: My party is 3 players, level 12, and they have already beaten the whole tomb and Ace. Currently they’re in the Fane, while one of their NPCs ascends into a yuan-to malison. Artus is with them.
One of the players, the fighter, sees Artus as a father figure and admires him. Another, the cleric, is doubtful and suspicious of Artus. The third, the warlock, spent 200 years as a petrified statue in the tomb, and now has a soft spot for anyone she believes is trapped in eternal imprisonment.
The Ring has been watching them. It knows this. So, when the warlock approaches Artus and asks him how he resists the siren call of the Ring, she is naturally skeptical of his answer being that he believes the Ring is meant to be used for good, and is a test to eliminate those unworthy to bear it.
As she turns to leave the conversation, she sees icy writing on the wall: SAVE ME.
I’m really happy with the drama of this story so far. The players are going back and forth: “The Ring is probably manipulating us into attacking Artus… but what if Artus is actually trapped inside of the Ring?”
I’m not concerned about the party having the Ring in their possession. It’s already essentially an epic-level party at level 12. They commune with gods and are extremely important figures in the world. A quest to destroy the Ring would fit right into their campaign.
Still, I’m not sure what I want the truth to be. I’m considering having whichever thing they assume true to be wrong, for the drama. But is that cheap?
tldr; The Ring reached out to a player with an icy message while Artus wasn’t looking, saying “SAVE ME” and then melting away. Now the players are stuck between thinking the Ring is manipulating them or thinking Artus is actually trapped inside of it. What would you do with these circumstances?

My dad works as a postie for the Royal mail and we are currently trying to make plans for my sisters birthday. We asked him if he would be avaliable Saturday the 15th and he said that his rota is released weekly so he wouldn't know. Now I want to believe him but everyone I know including myself has a monthly rota it just feels like a stretch to only know what shifts you have on a week by week basis? If this is true how do post men even plan anything?!? I just want some answers to find out if posties are really living week by week or he's lying to get out of celebrating with us. Thank you! 😊
Edit: Since some of you want to comment on my relationship with my father I will give you more context. This man is known for trying to get out of family events, prioritises smokes and beer over his children and hasn't attended a birthday in years. Just wanted to know if his excuse this year was legitimate. Thank you everyone for your two pence about what kind of person I am, I could have just assumed he was lying but I wanted to give him a chance. Thank you for the genuine responses 🙏
Edit edit: and for the person who said "shame he raised a buffon" he didn't raise anything. That's the whole problem :)

My friend Sandra and I have known each other for over 20 years (we are 30-32). Sandra is getting married to Andres, and I am married to Ian.
Some relevant information:

• Andres and I originally come from the same country and even the same region. We share many characteristics.
• We both have very round faces, deep brown eyes, long straight black hair, etc. If you didn't know better, you might assume we are siblings.
• I met Andres six years ago and introduced him to Sandra. He proposed two years ago.
• I own a beautiful property in my home country that I was ready to lend to Sandra and Andres for their wedding.
• My property is like a finca and has 10 rooms. Usually, I would rent it out for weddings at a somewhat high price, but I was happy to give it to them at no cost, with the condition that they hire their own catering and have their guests strip their beds when they leave.

The issue:
Three months ago, Sandra became more reclusive. She wouldn't answer my texts, and we didn't meet up. Two weeks ago, she appeared at my door with Andres. They sat us down (my husband included) and said she suspected that my daughter is actually Andres' biological daughter and requested a paternity test for peace of mind.
I was so shocked that I couldn't say anything. My husband lost his temper and raised his voice, telling Sandra that she was being absolutely stupid.
Sandra pointed out that my daughter looks like Andres. I explained that Andres and I look alike. She kept shaking her head, saying my daughter would look more like my husband and not like my exact copy.
The evening ended poorly. I agreed to the test if they paid for it. The results came back last Friday, showing that Andres was not the father. We also did a test confirming that my husband is the father.
Sandra cried and tried to hug me. I told her I didn't want to and that I didn't want to be friends with her for the time being. She kept saying her worries were justified and made a comment about "women from your country being more likely to do that."
In that moment, I was filled with anger. I told her she could forget about using the venue and that I didn't want her in my life anymore. She started crying, but I made her leave.
Her mom and she have been texting me, saying they can't find a new venue. I still said no.
Twenty minutes ago, Sandra called me sobbing, saying that the wedding is off because of me.
Am I the asshole? Should I have let her use the venue at the usual price, or was what I did okay?
Original link: https://www.reddit.com/AITAH/s/SdlTfo4xSz

My kid refused to tell me what she wanted for breakfast and then refused to eat what I gave her. She then threw a fit because she didn't want to wear her uniform or wear socks. She spent the remainder of the morning whining that she didn't feel good and didn't want to go to school and I had to drag her to the car. While all this was happening, my husband (that I've been separated from for >2 years but we still live together) started an argument about what went wrong and how "I should've just left instead of making him think everything was fine." He didn't help me at all getting my kid ready, I still had to pack snacks and fight about clothing choices on my own. All before 8am. Now I get to spend the rest of the day up to my eyeballs in management reports and placating site management because who has days off?
Happy birthday to me!! 🎂

I always wanted to see Hanako as the 10th rival rather than Megami because, well, Hanako is Taro's sister. A family member would be the hardest individual to get rid of and a huge pain for someone to lose.
So, I've decided to rewrite Hanako and make her the 10th rival instead of Mary Sue (she needs to go straight to the trash, smh).
⚠️ Some things will be changed in future, so beware! 😀
Instead of Hanako being the childish, incest, and clingy sister that Pedodev made her to be, I decided to make her act more like Nemesis minus the whole revenge plan she has and she does have her hair loose instead of pigtails . So, let me go into more detail →

Why is Hanako the 10th rival? What makes her so different from Mary Sue?

Hanako is Taro's sister. That's a huge difference between Megami and her. Taro does love his family, especially his sister he grew close to and helped raise. Megami is nothing to Taro. Taro would choose Hanako over Megami any day. No one can replace his own sibling.
Hanako isn't a Mary Sue. She does have flaws. Hanako can be killed, framed, matchmade, and any other elimination that the game has. Sure, it will be harder to actually kill her, but she can be killed.
Hanako does know how to protect herself in this rewrite. There's a reason why she does something traumatic that happened to her. It does involve the gloves she's wearing.

What happened that made her this way?

Hanako used to be a very cheerful young little girl. She used to be very outgoing, having no worries in her life, and seeing no danger in the world as many children do.
Until an event took place that changed her perspective on the world. Considering that Hanako was an outgoing little girl who didn't see the dangers the same way her own parents did, Hanako was almost kidnapped by two men (who were part of a human trafficking business). They needed a new and fresh victim to get money, and seeing Hanako and her innocent little self was the perfect opportunity to kidnap her and get money quickly. Hanako tried fighting back against them. Even if they were armed with a knife, it didn't stop her. As a result of this, the knife slashed her palm, causing her to let out a bloody scream.
Hanako needed stitches for the wound on her palm. It left a scar. She uses gloves to cover it and not remember that traumatizing memory.
Fortunately, her parents and Taro heard and were able to stop it, but her father and mother were injured in the process of saving her, mostly her father, who almost cost his life to save her. Taro couldn't do much since he was still a kid when this happened. His mother made sure he was away and safe from those two men.
Hanako's perspective of the world around her changed completely after that event. Seeing her parents' injuries, and if it wasn't for their mother, Taro would have been injured or killed or even taken. Something snapped in her.
Ever since that event, Hanako became very clingy to her parents and Taro, not leaving their side, especially when they were in public and around a large group of people.
As she grew older, Hanako decided to take classes of self-defense to protect herself and her family from anyone. This continued for a few more years and remained close to her family, taking care of them and making sure they were safe from harm or danger.
⚠️ Her backstory might change in the future, so be beware!

Why was she absent for nine weeks? Where was she?

She was in America training in a program that chose her to continue her training of self-defense, sensing danger, etc. Her mother went with her since she was still underage during the time. Hanako has been there for a year. By the time Ayano is “active”, she will have been in America for two years.
Hanako did continue her education in America. During her time there, she would keep in touch with her brother, telling him about her training, her education, her day, how it was in America, etc. Even if the two siblings were very far away, their sibling love remained very close and strong.

What made her return to Japan and enroll in Akademi?

Hanako decided to return to Japan and enroll in Akadmi when she found out what was happening with her brother, his mental health and what would happen to other students if Ayano decided to murder her rivals or any other student. Each week, his mental health would decrease depending on how Ayano gets rid of the rival. His mental health will decrease much more if he saw the corpse of a rival or saw them be killed in front of him, especially if it's Osana.
Hanako decides to go back to Japan, not finishing her program and enrolling in Akademi as soon as possible before the week even starts, to be there for her brother, comfort, and protect him.
She's quite happy to be with her brother and father again after two years.

What are the obstacles that Ayano will face?

→ Hanako will always be next to Taro to keep him company. She will do anything in her power to comfort her brother and be by his side after being gone for two years. Even if he was the oldest, Hanako would take care of him the same way he did for her.
→ Hazu Kashibuchi. He will be Hanako's suitor. Hanako will meet Hazu on the first day of Akademi since they sit right next to each other in class. Hazu will be Hanako's first friend. So, Hanako will be close to Hazu as well during the week and be in the sewing room as well. Hazu will teach her how to sew. Taro will be there as well to learn and find a good way to release stress and focus on something positive.
→ Genka, the guidance counselor, will be an obstacle for Ayano as well. Hanako will be with Genka along with her brother. Taro will use this time with Genka to speak with her about his mental health and his thoughts while Hanako will be next to him, listening and holding his hand. There will be meetings between Genka and Hanako to speak about Taro's mental health and how he is doing and tell Hanako ideas on how to help her big bro. Those ideas are going to be the events that Ayano has to sabotage
→ Hanako can sense danger. She can immediately apprehend Ayano and break her arm. Even if she's short, she will stop Ayano from harming her or any student. If Ayano is doing anything suspicious, Hanako will keep her eyes on her until she's out of her sight. Hanako can be framed, but her gloves need to be taken from her. Ayano has to find a way to do it.
→ ⚠️ Osana and Raibaru. Hanako is very close to Osana as well, so Hanako would spend a lot of her time with Osana and Raibaru who she sees as a new friend, and someone who she can relate to and have self-defense lessons with. So, Raibaru will be a big challenge for Ayano. Osana will be a threat if she's still alive. If not, Raibaru will be the threat. Unless she's dead, too. So this obstacle is a “If” thing.
→ I would add Budo if Taro and Budo were close friends. I feel like Hanako would spend time with him since they do share a strong sense of justice and know self-defense. Budo is quite popular, so he would know how to survive Akademi lol
→ The clubs. Considering that Hanako has been in America for the past two years and training, she decided to join a club after she found out how many clubs there were. The reason why is because she wants to have a hobby and explore something new. So, Hanako, during the week, would be walking in and out of club rooms to speak with the club leaders and meeting the members as well. Considering that some of the club members do leave their club rooms or areas like the Gardening Club, Hanako will be surrounded by students, so it'll be hard to find a spot without having a student as a witness.
→ Considering that Nemesis carries around a knife during mission mode, I want to make Hanako carry a knife to protect herself with. A knife that she can hide. So technically, she can kill Ayano. I might change this.
→ Considering it's the 10th week, the student council president election will be taking place, so students will be walking around, gossiping around in the halls, some will be near the student council room to determine who deserves the spot, some students will be running around the school, or standing at certain places where Ayano can't get Hanako alone. Hanako would most likely be with her brother, walking around and having her brother explain what's going on before she goes off on her own and explores what's going on. Hanako would most likely try to speak with the student council, or at least be in the same area as them.

What's her befriending stealth mission?

It will involve either those two men (who are much older, but they will be trying to find new victims to take). Ayano will know what happened to Hanako by eavesdropping on her conversations with Taro and Genka. (They can also be used for the “Drive to Murder” elimination for Hanako)
Maybe in this mission, Hanako will be asking Ayano to get evidence against the human traffickers to put them behind bars and save the victims who couldn't be saved like she was. This would bring Ayano into great danger of either being killed or being used for human trafficking herself. Ayano is a good-looking girl, so the business would think she would bring good customers.
It will take research to know where the human traffickers are located, or at least the help of Info-chan.
There's still some things I need to think about for this stealth mission!
Or
Someone that she met during her time in America who came to Japan way before Hanako did. A rival for Hanako. They would have some history together that Taro wouldn't know about. I haven't thought much about this mission, so I'll see what I can make up :]

A little background on everything. I work at a bank so there’s only 12 employees. This new woman transferred about 3 months ago and I wasn’t interested in her at first. After a week she started coming over to my desk a few times a day with little questions or just to sit and chit chat. The chit chat quickly turned into the flirty teasing and banter between coworkers. Every time I’d walk to the printer or copier she would make eye contact and give a big smiles or a little cute look. We related being close in age while all of our other coworkers are +/- 10 years from us, her birthday is 3 days before mine both being in May. The more we talked the more I liked her but I was told by others that she did have a boyfriend. So about 2 months ago I helped her open a new account and as I’m opening the account we’re talking, I tell her this I am diagnosed with an autoimmune disease, I have a son that’s 2 and half, and that me and his mother broke up a few years ago. Fast forward about a week later she tells me she’s going to a walk that benefits my disease and asked if I would want to attend or if I think any of our coworkers would be interested as a group. I told her I wouldn’t expect people to go to a walk for me but I may be interested and I would let her know. A week later she ask about my plans for the weekend to which I tell her I’m with my son this weekend, and he’s always my #1 priority. About two weeks later she’s telling me about new shelves she’s getting and installing over the weekend and that she’s probably going to be doing it herself, while just looking at me. At this point I’m thinking she’s hinting that she wants me to help her but I’m also saying that if she has a boyfriend will this be awkward, so I didn’t say anything. The following Monday I asked how were the shelves and as she’s showing me pictures she’s says she got her boyfriend to help. Now I’m thinking ok she has a boyfriend she’s probably just very nice, so I started to suppress any feelings at had. So I chose not to go the benefit walk because it would’ve felt weird with her having a boyfriend. We still had a little banter and flirting but tried to keep it professional, especially if she has a boyfriend. Since then she will still lock eyes with me as I go to the printer and give me smiles and the cute look, but when I try to talk to her there’s something wrong or she’ll look at her phone. After all this another coworker told me that she is single. This weekend was her birthday and I texted her and wished a happy birthday and we joked about her only turning 22. We’re both off for our birthdays, with mine be this week I felt like asking her to hangout but I’m not sure if it’s smart. Was there anything there or was a miss reading signs, and if there was did I miss my opportunity?