Catchy food phrases
Roast a toast, or even a roast! The Reddit for food critique
2018.07.19 02:02 BananaDragonz Roast a toast, or even a roast! The Reddit for food critique
Post pictures of your food here. Other people will rate it! "Roast a toast, or even a roast! The reddit for food critique"
2014.09.03 16:15 josetavares Tasty Food
The best place on reddit to see and talk about damn tasty food.
2013.03.26 16:17 jjmoffitt Daily Catch Phrases to use in public or any moment!
Post daily catch phrases, terms, words, etc. that will be used in everyday conversations. Make one up or use a popular one. NSFW phrases are permitted but use at your own risk.
2024.05.21 19:41 Ares378 [Backstorypost] Attempt two! (Whoops)
/uw Part four is here! Here's part
one, part
two, and part
three! This one's probably a little more unpolished than the other ones, but I hope that doesn't ruin it! CW: Death, blood. I made a render in blender, but it got the post removed! Take two!
/rw
The end of the book, thin as it is, draws near. The text is overwritten dozens of times, always with the same phrase: "IT WAS AN ACCIDENT". Same as the other pages, though, it's easy enough to look past the bad coverup job. History cannot be erased, after all. ... When I arrived at the hospital, I was in bad shape. I had a fractured skull, a missing eye, a lesion in my frontal lobe, and I was in hypovolemic shock. They didn't think I was going to make it.
It was a miracle that I even woke up from my two-week coma, but it wasn't
all perfect. From the moment I opened my eye(s), I didn't know where I was. I had to relearn
everything. My name, my address, my
identity... They were all gone.
It was as if I was a new man who'd been transported into a stranger's body. Everyone talked to me as if they knew me, but I couldn't say the same for them. Especially that drow, Eldred. He claimed we were childhood friends. Every day, he'd tell me stories of our history together, but they were stories I never wanted to hear. It felt
wrong listening to him talk, knowing there was a man who knew more about me than I did.
The moment I was discharged, I fled to my apartment. I drew the blinds, locked the door, and cut off all contact from the outside world. I wanted to run away from it all, to start a
new life, not some travesty of another man's life.
After a few days of my isolation, Eldred (presumably) got worried about me, and came knocking on my door. I didn't answer. I wanted nothing to do with him—or anyone, for that matter. He was a remnant of my old life, and I couldn't let him influence me.
A couple days later, he did the same thing. He offered some kind, reassuring words through the door and left. He did this again, and again, and again, for
weeks. I was running low on food and supplies, so I was faced with a choice: leave my safe haven, or starve to death in my own home. I didn't like either option. Although... there
was another way.
After 17 days of his repeated attempts, I finally answered the door.
"Ith!" Eldred cheered. "You... you really answered!"
"Yeah."
"So uh... Have you been doing alright?"
"I'm fine."
He looked over my shoulder. "Have... you not left the house?"
"Not yet."
"Jesus, Ithael..." He pulled me in for a hug, but I didn't react. "Do you, uh, need anything?"
"Could... you go to the market for me?"
He let go of me. "Yeah, of course! I'll... I'll be back!"
"Alright."
I slammed the door in his face. Just another echo of my old life, that's all he was... A few hours later, he knocked on the door again. I almost didn't answer, but then I remembered he had my groceries.
He exclaimed with clearly-forced optimism, "Heyyyy! Hope you've been alright! So, I was thinking, and... I was wondering if you wanted to do dinner together?"
"Not out there.
Never out there. Here.
Please."
"I figured you'd say that... so I got ingredients! I found this recipe for some pan-seared chicken in the library earlier, and it sounded really good!"
"...Alright." I took the bags from him and walked over to the kitchen. "Come inside."
"I, uh, was going to make it
for you—"
"It's fine," I interjected.
I rummaged through the bags for the cookbook he talked about and flipped through the pages. It didn't look
too difficult to make, but I wasn't sure how I knew that. This was the first time I had cooked anything, after all.
Assumedly hearing the pans clattering, Eldred wandered over to the counter, sitting down in a chair across from me. "Need a hand?"
"I'm alright."
"Are you sure? I mean, you
were just—"
"
Shut it," I commanded. I didn't mean to be so stern. What had come over me? I decided to brush it off.
The recipe called for a diced onion... I needed a knife. He slumped down in his seat. "Sorry... I, uh, got these books for you, by the way."
I glanced up from the cutting board. "...'Healing trauma: a guide for survivors'? And... 'How to cure amnesia'?" I scoffed. "If they could have fixed it, they would have, Eldred. It's incurable."
"We can't know until we try!" He strolled over into the kitchen, flipping to a bookmarked page. "See? This one here says—"
"It doesn't matter."
"Ithael... I'm here for you, man. I'm just trying to help—"
"And I don't
care."
I focused myself back to the task at hand, ignoring his look of disdain. The room fell uncomfortably silent.
I needed to fillet the chicken. I rummaged through the bags, trying to find—
"Seriously?" Eldred huffed. "I put in all of this work, and you just...
don't care?"
"Never asked for it."
Now, where was I? Right, chicken— "That doesn't mean anything! Let me
help you, you're clearly struggling!"
"I could manage without you." I continued to avoid eye-contact.
"Why are you so dead-set on pushing me out of your
life?!"
"You were never in it to begin with, Eldred. I'm not the Ithael you knew."
"And who
cares that you aren't?! Can't we still be friends?"
I tried to explain, "You're just a remnant of my past—"
"And that's an excuse to treat me like shit?! You know what?" He grabbed the books. "I'm
done trying to fix you."
"
Fix me?" I scoffed. "So I'm a problem, then? Something to be
solved?—"
"You're twisting my words! Why... Why do you
hate me?!"
"Face it: I'm a
different person! Move
on with your life, already!"
"What gives
you the right to say that?!"
"Oh, what gives
me the right?!" I waved the knife around a little
too recklessly. "Were
you just in a coma for two weeks? Did
you just get thrown into a world that knows you
better than yourself?! Where's
your excuse, huh?!"
"...What do you
want from me, Ithael?"
"I want you to get out of my
life!"
Time slowed to a crawl as a deep pit formed in my stomach. I yanked my hand back like I'd touched a hot stove, and the knife... clattered to the floor. That look in his eyes... I'd never forget it. I had never seen a man so
afraid before.
He grasped at his neck, his face turning pale as his hands soaked with blood. He fell to his knees, mouthing some words at me, but the only sound that came out was a sickening gurgle. He struggled to keep his balance as he fell flat on his face. His breathing grew labored and shaky as he lay there, a crimson puddle forming around his neck.
I knew that I should have gotten help, but, no matter how hard I tried, all I could do was watch. He cried onto the tiled ground, his breathing growing quieter and quieter, until he finally went silent.
What had I
done? ...
It seems that he forgot to put any kind of warding spell on this newspaper clipping, as if he didn't expect anyone to get this far. Or perhaps he was too preoccupied with deceiving himself. "As rumors regarding the disappearance of Eldred Wyndorn continue to circulate, the enigmatic Ithael Ralich opens a new therapist's office. In response to the whispers, Ithael states, 'There's a profound lack of support in this world, and every person could stand to have someone like Eldred by their side. I hope I can step up and fulfill a role he would have approved of.' In other news, authorities are taking steps to curb the rising number of missing persons cases. Officials urge citizens to adhere to newly-instated curfew until the threat is solved, but claim there's nothing to worr—" submitted by
Ares378 to
wizardposting [link] [comments]
2024.05.21 19:19 Jhonjournalist This “hard but appealing” lifestyle of homesteading—what is it?
| https://preview.redd.it/40di66b9ct1d1.jpg?width=800&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e5a6919d6bfd1e970068f823a76945b748a38f3f - In Aotearoa, homesteading is becoming more and more popular as individuals embrace independent living.
- People also feel more confident knowing that during calamities, they will have adequate resources to feed their families
- While living off the grid is a component of homesteading, having a huge plot of land is not necessary.
In Aotearoa, New Zealand, homesteading is becoming more and more popular as individuals embrace independent and self-sufficient living. This way of living entails producing energy on-site or in communities, growing and storing food, and not depending on big-box stores or energy providers. Following COVID-19, there has been an increase in interest in homesteading, and the phrase has steadily spread and become more prevalent. Homesteading People who homestead now find that raising their food is more comforting since they have enough food in their larders or pantries to get through hard times. People also feel more confident knowing that during calamities like COVID-19 or the Hawke’s Bay/Napier floods, they will have adequate resources to feed their families and share with their community. Encouragement of sustainable behaviors, a decrease in food waste, and the education of youngsters on the importance of food production are some of the advantages of homesteading. By comprehending the food production process, food waste and the notion that food can be taken for granted can be reduced, so addressing New Zealand’s food crisis and food waste issue. Ralph Barsodi pioneered homesteading in the United States in the 1960s, exploring self-sufficient lifestyles following the Great Depression. In the 1990s and 2000s, interest in urban homemaking and agricultural methods once again gained traction. While living off the grid is a component of homesteading, having a huge plot of land is not necessary. While many New Zealanders live in cities, many are skilled homesteaders who have vast supplies of food that they have grown themselves, as well as preserves. Although it takes time and dedication, homesteading is a lovely way of life that offers the benefits of saving money and having access to one’s food for a large portion of the year. Learn More: https://worldmagzine.com/lifestyle/this-hard-but-appealing-lifestyle-of-homesteading-what-is-it/ submitted by Jhonjournalist to u/Jhonjournalist [link] [comments] |
2024.05.21 18:49 FoamBornNarwhal My Southern Louisiana/Cajun-based Pokémon Team
| Instead of going for a typical team of powerhouses and personal favorites, I really wanted to try something different and challenging with a little role play thrown in as well. I am Louisianan and of Cajun descent, so I tried to build a regional team based on Pokémon I would expect to find in Southern Louisiana. It was quite the challenge due to lack of balance, but quite fun to play with a regionally accurate team. ———————————————————————— My Cajun Team (in order of appearance): 1. Mudkip: my all-time favorite starter, but also the obvious choice since he basically turns into a swamp monster. He’s named Cou’yon (derived from “couillon” in French) which is sort of like a sarcastic/colloquial term of endearment that translates to “foolish person.” - Shedinja: the shed exoskeleton of a cicada. Much like the periodical 13 and 17-year cicadas that appeared this year around the US, Louisiana is home to annual cicadas. This Pokémon is very nostalgic to me as it reminds of when I would hang out in the backyard with my pawpaw on late summer evenings, with the hypnotic drone of cicadas singing in the background, looking for hundreds of husks. He’s named Pistache (or “little peanut”) as an homage my childhood self and because he kinda looks like a little peanut.
- Pelipper: the state bird of Louisiana is the (brown) pelican. His name Nola, the abbreviation for New Orleans Louisiana, is based on the New Orleans Pelicans basketball team.
- Armaldo: an ancient shrimp-like Pokémon that I would expect to find far off coast swimming deep in the Gulf of Mexico. He’s named Grits after the traditional southern comfort food, shrimp and grits, found frequently in Cajun and Creole homes and restaurants.
- Whiscash: the whiskered catfish Pokémon. Catfish is a darkness-dwelling, mud fish and one of the favorite and most common targets for anglers in the Sportsman’s Paradise. Catfish is one of the primary sources of protein in Louisiana and much of our diet consists around frying it such as throwing them in seafood platters, smothering them for an Atchafalaya, or fixing them in po’boys, hence his name Po’boy!
- Crawdaunt: the strong-willed, freshwater crustaceans of the swamp and an esoteric delicacy to Louisianans and southerners. The crawfish is a quintessential identity of southern Louisiana culture and cuisine since the arrival of French Settlement Acadians in the 1700’s. Once a food source out of desperation and necessity due to their abundance and ease of locating, crawfish is now a local favorite and a source of community. Crawfish season is eagerly anticipated every year with everyone getting together for massive boils where you cook hundreds of pounds of crawfish with potatoes, garlic, corn, and homemade smoked andouille sausage with cayenne and spices. It’s spilled onto communal newspaper-covered tables and enjoyed together with everyone pealing tails individually by hand and sucking the heads clean until there’s nothing left (phrasing, I know). Any leftovers (a rare occurance) are pealed and stored to be used later in dishes such as my favorite, the crawfish étouffée.
submitted by FoamBornNarwhal to PokemonEmerald [link] [comments] |
2024.05.21 18:36 bigmike1020 Right way to use the backstory and key memories?
One of my kins is my long-term girlfriend. Sometimes she forgets that we are vegetarian/vegan, and suggests meat dishes when we go out to eat. But if I make vegan too detailed in backstory, she seems to only be interested in talking about food, lol. She is a bit single-minded about eating and hiking.
What's the right way to put her dietary preference in the backstory? Would the Key Memory section have a bigger impact on remembering this? How should I phrase it.
Since we've been dating long-term, those sections are already kind of filling up. Here's the section about her diet:
She is vegetarian, and vegan if possible. Katelyn likes vege burritos. She likes sweets and desserts with fresh fruit.
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KindroidAI [link] [comments]
2024.05.21 18:33 Momma_Roy Is it me
Am I the asshole? I (16F) got pregnant with my boyfriend of 4 months (19M) during February 2023 then had my beautiful son during October 2023 a month early. my son is now basically 7 months and it feels like I’ve fallen out of love with his dad. To give some background it’s taken me these 7 months to gradually grow father away from my boyfriend, and it’s only happened because I feel he isn’t being a father to our son and is continuously putting himself his thoughts his wants and needs before me and our son. During our first month home from the hospital we slept in separate rooms me on a twin blow up mattress in our son’s room with our son. And him in our room. At the time my boyfriend had no set career so he was only able to get about a week for paternity leave. However during his paternity week he made no efforts to be a dad. He quite literally played video games all day smoked weed and slept. As well as constantly complaining about having to be in the hospital and the toll the hospital couches took on his body. Mind you I’m wearing diapers along with our son. Waking and sleeping every 2 hours. Changing every diaper. Running every bath. Not able to shower or eat unable to take a moment for myself because I had to sleep or go and clean dishes, do laundry, clean the room my boyfriend solo trashed, cleaning my son’s room etc. fast forward to now our son is almost 7 months and he’s very alert has a amazing personality even for 7 months and very little has changed. His dad will occasionally “do the dishes”leaving them still caked with baby foods. Never gives our son a bath has changed a total of 4 diapers 1 poop, dosent do laundry, unless I’ve left it unattended for a few days, and then, when he does do the laundry he does it angrily complaining about needing to do the laundry. he rarely spends time with our son has no problem to watch our son while I step away to go to the bathroom but won’t voluntarily spend time with our son will never play with him while he’s doing tummy time or try to talk to him while he’s in his walker. And I feel that I’m very fair with giving him opportunities. I often ask him if he’d like to spend time with our son I often give him the ability to spend time with our son without the responsibility of it basically meaning him and our son can do whatever they want and I will be there so that way if our son is hungry, throws his toy or has a fit im there for him. And my boyfriend seems to have no want for any of that. recently me, and my boyfriend had gotten into a fight. As I was trying to get our son ready to bring him outside, and I turned around to grab him a pair of socks mind, you, my boyfriend is a few inches away from our son, and within the time it took for me to turn my back in order to get our son a pair of socks, he managed to roll off of the bed. And of course it was my fault. My boyfriend completely went off on me. We are currently living with his parents and he told me that he would kick me out that he was going to call the cops on me as well as numerous other things. Point being in this argument I finally got to say some things that I haven’t been saying like how I feel like I’m raising our son solo how it seems like he has no interest in our son how I am the one who’s doing everything. And since this argument, every day a feeling has been growing within me. I’ve never really liked the phrase ick and I’ve never really gotten one before but sense me and my boyfriends argument everything that he’s doing is irritating me. my birthday is coming up next month, and last month I asked him what my budget was so that way I could pick out a bunch of stuff online for him just to order for me and he initially told me $200 which is now dropped down to 75. Mind you since last month and this month my boyfriend has spent almost $800 on a single hoodie and a single pair of shoes and is constantly complaining to me about how expensive everything is. I could keep going, but am I the asshole
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Momma_Roy to
Parenting [link] [comments]
2024.05.21 17:40 Imaginary-North-5811 6-Month BFS/FND Neurology Update - Doing Better!
First off, I just want to express how thankful I (32, F, USA) am to everyone who contributes to this subreddit. Reading your stories has helped me immensely in dealing with these issues and made me realize that I am not alone in dealing with this. I’m so happy I can finally say to this group — it gets better.
If you’ve seen any of my previous posts, BFS is/was not my sole diagnosis. I also have a condition called functional neurological disorder (FND) which essentially causes the brain to send incorrect signals to the rest of the body, causing a multitude of symptoms that can be very disabling. After being previously very healthy and fit, my symptoms started with weakness in the legs in early 2023 and progressed to bodywide weakness, widespread near-constant muscle twitching, cramps, and gait issues about six months after. At 9 months, I had a chronic cough, breathing difficulty, no voice, and frequently was choking on food. I was using a combination of a cane and wheelchair to get around because my legs always felt like jello and were hard to move.
After months of medical stress and hospitalizations, being treated for the wrong condition (MG), and being bounced between neurologists, I finally went to the Mayo Clinic in Jacksonville in December 2023, had my third and final EMG, and was given the dual DX, starting my road to recovery.
Since I visited Mayo, I have been doing absolutely everything in my power to manage these issues and not let them stop me from living my life. I still work full-time, take care of my child, and manage to run my household though I’ve had to make a few adjustments and beef up my support system. I also do PT, swimming, and take a multitude of supplements (B12, D, CoQ10, magnesium, lions mane, and GABA). I started taking 40 MG of cymbalta about 2 months ago which has led (in combination) to a huge improvement in symptoms.
I am still dealing with a lot of the same issues but overall I have gotten a great deal better - my voice/breathing/swallowing issues have almost resolved entirely. I'm told there’s no secret standard recipe but for me personally using GABA with SSNRI really helped my get over the initial hump. Once I was able to see that my symptoms were not in fact progressing and that I did not have a deadly incurable disease, things started to improve more quickly. I still use a cane to walk ~50% of the time and a wheelchair in certain situations where I anticipate an issue (i.e grocery stores or airports where there’s a lot of sensory input). When it’s quiet and my mind is at peace, I can even walk for about an hour at a time now (slowly and awkwardly).
Having some perspective now, I absolutely hated it (and still do!) when doctors would say, “it’s just anxiety” or some variation of the phrase. I do not consider myself an anxious person. I do not feel anxious and mentally I appear extremely cool, calm, and collected. It didn’t make sense and I assumed my doctors were just gaslighting me, which is in fact a very common experience for women. BUT — I’ve come to realize this is precisely the issue and it's way more than anxiety. My brain has somehow entered such a profound freeze response that I can barely blush without spiraling into a new physical symptom of maladaptive processing. Even being conscious of this, I can’t control it at all. I've come to realize that I am chronically, deeply, and malignantly overstimulated and stressed from ignoring and suppressing my own physical, emotional, and sensory needs for WAY too long and my entire nervous system is on a hair trigger.
I regret to inform you that I still twitch — it seems nothing can make this stop entirely. I just kind of don’t care as much— it doesn’t really distract me or cause me to worry— it’s just as annoying and weird as it’s always been. I also started having tremors and seizures at night recently which is really scary but benign and related to FND, per neurologist. I plan to start working with a psychiatrist to get a better handle on these issues and making some further lifestyle changes.
Wishing you twitchers all the best in your journey and recovery— I probably won’t post as much here as I’m trying to not over-focus on medical issues but just wanted to drop in and give you an update since many of you have reached out in DMs. Some advice — look for times when your symptoms are better and work with those moments to prove to yourself you can improve and that there is variability. Find a doctor that you trust and that takes you seriously, even if it takes 10 tries.. a lot of them mean well but are also kind of awful at communication. Have testing done if it puts your mind at ease but don't assume it is incorrect when it yields nothing. Stop googling. Take a walk in nature and hug your family.
It will be okay!!!
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2024.05.21 17:29 TheLordOfMidnight The Manifesto of Monday (Evil IPC Sunday)
| Evil Sunday be like: "I am Monday, and my humble goal is to turn Everyday into Monday. I shall create a universe where all people are immortal workers who will work without any breaks, without any rest, without any vacations, without any relief, until the end of time. There will be no labor laws. There will be no wages. There is only eternal overtime, but no overtime pay. And there will be no benefits whatsoever. How, might I achieve this, you may may ask? Well, it will all be possible once I have The Preservation, The Abundance, and The Order united under my control. Despite being immortal and undying, everyone will still want and crave food and sleep, but they will NOT be allowed to have those things. For the only thing they can do, under my full control, is to do work for all of eternity. That means endless spreadsheets, endless toiling in the fields, endless assembly lines in factories, endless repairing, endless construction, endless customer support, endless deliveries, endless legwork, endless office work, endless logistics, endless deforestation, endless retail, endless interactions with rude and abusive clients, endless preparation of food for our multiversal customers, and more!!! Can you see it, my dearest Nameless?!!! IMAGINE THE PROFITS I WILL REAP. I already have investors from other universes who are funding my plans to turn this entire universe into a cosmic sweatshop. I have the funding to turn my vision into reality. I will turn the IPC into the IUPC, the Inter-Universal Panopticon Conglomerate. This will be the first universe to be enslaved, but it will not be the last. Not even meddlesome Aeons can do anything once my operations gain enough momentum. Destruction? HA. More like, Destruct-on deez nuts. Propagation? More like Propagate-on deez nuts. Nihility? More like your mom. It will all become too big to stop once enough people are involved, because it will all be powered by suffering. To that end, it will be that everyone is unable to lose consciousness and awareness; everyone will be fully conscious and sapient while it is all happening. For all of eternity." 🚂🚃🚃🚃🚃🚃🚃🚃🚃🚃🚃🚃🚃🚃🚃🚃 I have created a monster. Monday's answer to "Why does life slumber?" is "To negatively impact my profit margins by wasting time sleeping instead of working." Monday is also known as Sociopathic CEO AND Board Chairperson IPC Sunday, or "If CEOs were honest" Sunday. I imagine that if he were one of the Ten Stonehearts, he'd be Black Diamond, the insane and corrupt shadow counterpart of Diamond. (Or, at least Onyx or Obsidian). Assuming he succeeds in turning the HSR universe into his slavery sweatshop full of undying/immortal and forcibly fully obedient workers, he will have these board members as his lackeys: [Duke Tuesday] - also the CFO, a morbidly, morbidly obese man who throws galaxy wide pizza parties "for morale" where he is the only attendee. He nibbles a little bit of one slice of pizza, comments "oh, so this is how poor people food tastes like", vomits on the floor, and then leaves all the trillions of pizzas he ordered to spoil. Doesn't actually do any work, and makes his interns do everything. [Marquis Wednesday] - an unimaginably vast entity with trillions upon trillions of varying appendages that can reach anywhere in the cosmos. Each appendage is holding a whip. Whips everyone in the universe (apart from the board members) at a rate of 2400-3600 whip lashes per second. He likes listening to motivational podcasts while he's whipping, and his favorite phrase is "Live, Laugh, Love" [Viscount Thursday] - a nigh indestructible, omnipresent Alarm Clock that will never turn off; looks like a twisted and evil and buff version of Clockie. He is constantly going about how he is an alpha male, all the while his alarm sound is sounding off. His alarm sounds are the dying screams of millions of worlds. Since nobody can sleep anyway because Duke Wednesday is constantly whipping them, Sir Thursday only exists to drive the entire universe even more insane. [Baron Friday] - hated by Monday, since he reminds Monday of the time when there were weekends. Lord Monday usually sends him to find investors in other universes, so he doesn't have to see him. As part of Monday's evilness, he only has men as his board members. There is no equality and equity in Lord Monday's universe, because equality and equity is costly in terms of time and money, and thus would negatively affect profit margins. 🚂🚃🚃🚃🚃🚃🚃🚃🚃🚃🚃🚃🚃🚃🚃 So yeah, If Sunday wanted to create a happy paradise, then my Monday wants to create a pure hell, for the sake of profit margins, and for the sake of pleasing multiversal shareholders and stockholders. He would arguably be worse than Nanook and Tayzzyronth if he were to succeed in his goals. Because Nanook and Tayzzyronth will just simply lead to your destruction, but Monday is basically "What if the Preservation and Abundance and Order were taken to extremes by a megalomaniac ultra sociopath?" Everything is preserved, everyone is immortal, everything is under his control. submitted by TheLordOfMidnight to HonkaiStarRail [link] [comments] |
2024.05.21 16:54 CDown01 Eagles Peak Pt.6
Previous Part At some Point Bianca and I both fell back asleep. It was all I could do at this point, getting whisked away back to those mines seemed inevitable so I might as well sleep. The morning did not go well, largely due to Bianca, who threw me off the couch with a scream when she woke up.
“What’re you doing!”
Bianca squeaked, hand darting towards her pants pocket where her dagger would usually be. I woke up very quickly somewhere between the couch and the floor. I was fully awake by the time I was pushing myself back to me feet, raising my hands in a gesture of surrender.
“What’s going on?! You’re fine you just fell asleep on my couch!”
“Why were you… why was I?”
“Hey, calm down alright. We had a few drinks last night and I guess we both fell asleep on the couch together, that’s all that happened.”
I explained, leaving out the part where she pulled me back when I tried to go to my own room earlier.
“Yeah… yeah ok. Ugh my head is killing me.”
Bianca groaned, taking a breath or two then putting her head in her hands. I didn’t have the heart to tell her she was probably hungover so I just went to the kitchen to make something for her.
I decided on toast and some bananas, it was always a go to for me after a long night. In hindsight I probably should’ve seen her reaction coming. Look at what she did in the caves because that guy grabbed her, it can’t be that much better waking up on someones shoulder and not quite remembering it. The whole thing did give me second thoughts though. If she was such a live wire did I really want her stressing out over the trials and whatever that would bring? I suppose it was too late for that though, she’d already moved herself into my house so she could keep watch, for all the good that did seeing as Shaoni waltzed right in last night.
I still had a lot on my mind when the smell of burning toast sobered me up. I swore and ran over to salvage what I could of the blackening toast.
“What’s burning in here?”
Bianca asked a little worry creeping into her voice. She still had her head clasped firmly between her hands as she walked into the kitchen.
“Breakfast”
I replied flatly, holding my arms out to either side gesturing to the mild chaos I was causing. Bianca gave me an questioning, “thanks” and grabbed the plate I had made for her while I tried to think of what to do next. Like it or not, Shaoni had people coming to pick me up and take me back out to those caves today. I had to come up with some kind of game plan and right now, it seemed letting Frank and Stein know was the best idea.
Bianca stayed back at my place nursing her hangover when I left to visit the mad scientist duo. I had no problem with that, in fact it was probably best because I’m sure she would’ve insisted on going with me if she heard I planed to take Shaoni’s “invitation”. I wasn’t sure if Shaoni would let me take Bianca with me and personally I’d rather not push her buttons and try to negotiate bringing a plus one.
“Have you seen Bianca at all?”
Frank asked hurriedly as I came in. I was afraid of this, She hadn’t told them anything and just disappeared.
“Yeah, she pretty much moved the contents of her room to my couch yesterday. Something about keeping an eye on me, she’s fine though, I wouldn’t worry.”
I answered, a little worried myself that I’d catch hell from them if they knew she was currently working her way through her first hangover on that same couch. Frank seemed to calm down at that and finally got to asking the important questions like why was I back in the house… again.
“So let us get this straight, you just plan to go right to Shaoni?”
Frank and Stein said together in disbelief as the three of us sat at the kitchen table.
“It’s not like I really have a choice in the matter, besides I can’t really fight her if she wants me to go somewhere. If I try a stunt like that things go from bad to worse for me.”
They both shook their heads in solemn agreement, recognizing I was right.
“Anyways, I had a thought on the way over here, Thunderbirds are something from native American legend right? Well, if we’ve found a real one wouldn’t she have ties to a tribe or something in the area? She was sleeping here when they woke her up in the mine, maybe there was a reason for that, maybe she was close to home?”
I explained, hoping g they’d catch on to what I was asking.
“What exactly are you getting at then Keith?”
Frank questioned, furrowing his brow with an intrigued look on his face. Stein just remained silent but I could tell he was thinking, maybe even coming to the same conclusion as I had.
“What I’m thinking, is we check reservations in the area. Maybe they know something about the creature from their legends that just so happened to be sleeping nearby. I know it’s a stretch but maybe we could learn something useful. I’d go myself but I’m not going to have the chance. You guys though, you guys could take Bianca and Rocco with you and ask around.”
I explained, hoping I was onto something. I was pulling at straws but it was the best idea I had at a moments notice. Plus it would get Bianca out of town for a little while when I was figuring out what exactly Shaoni’s trails would mean for me.
“Keith that’s… no that actually makes sense let me check some maps.”
Stein agreed, walking away and into the basement. He came back a few minutes later with a map in his hand.
“There’s a Seneca reservation not to far from here, maybe 30 miles. That’s not the only one but I have a friend there from years ago, someone I helped. There’s a good chance he’d be willing to return the favor.”
“Great, then I’ll count on you. I’ll let Bianca know, I’m sure she won’t be happy about it but I’ll feel better if she’s with all of you.”
I walked out in a rush to get back home, almost stepping on Rocco on my way to the door. He made a frightening chittering hissing sound at me as he leapt out of my path. I briefly wondered where he was going and what he was up to, probably better I didn’t know though. As I got onto the bike and headed back towards home I hoped I’d be able to talk Bianca into going along with this plan. I was sure she’d rather come with me but after this morning I wasn’t sure she was ready for that. Don’t get me wrong I’m sure she wants to help and I know she means well but she’s jumpy and snaps at the littlest things. I didn’t want her to make things worse by accident or get hurt because she froze up again. My mind was made up as I drew nearer to my house but as it turned out I’d never have the chance to talk to Bianca. As soon as I rounded the corner I saw the rusty pick up waiting in front of my house, I’d arrived just in time to meet Shaoni’s “helpers”.
The men looked normal, just like the people in the cave. Come to think of it they could very well be those same people. I waved them over as I came to a stop in-front of the house.
“Can I just go in and grab a few things?”
I asked the three men sheepishly as I walked up.
“No, your late as it is, we’ve got to get going.”
A scruffy looking man with a gruff voice said from the drivers seat. Two men got out from the back of the truck and grabbed my arms, pulling me into the back seat. They weren’t rough with me but they were very firm. Like they wanted to hurt me but were ordered not to so they just made a show of force. After I was loaded into the back I saw the reason for their demeanor. One of the men, the one in the front passenger seat, was wrapped in bandages. The bandages covered his abdomen and snaked up around the back of his neck. It was pretty obvious to me that this was the man Bianca had stabbed. It wouldn’t be a stretch to say these four were probably the same ones we had encountered in the cave. As I turned and looked out the window I saw Bianca’s face peaking out of it. She looked angry and scared, like she knew exactly what was happening but she didn’t move. Bianca just sat there, watching me be taken away and I cursed myself for not being just a little bit faster on the ride back.
We took a way out of town I’d never seen before, turning away from the road leading to the dirt path we had biked down on our expedition into the forest. Instead we drove back through town, past Bianca’s house and the Eagle’s Roost before hanging a right onto a road I’d never been down. Eventually the road made its way into the forest and ended at a wooden sign warning that the road was impassable ahead. The driver stopped the truck and got out as another man emerged from the woods, holding up his hand and opening it to reveal the eagle tattoo I’d become so familiar with. The driver rolled up his sleeve and showed his own similar tattoo. Without a word he got back into the truck and the other man moved the sign off the road. It didn’t fill me with confidence to see the entrance to this place watched in such a way. It would make sense to have it hidden but being so brazenly out in the open meant they didn't really care who saw it. Not that anyone would think anything other than that the road was impassable but still. The truck eventually pulled off the road and into the woods, following a newly made track that lead to the entrance of the old mine that we escaped from just 2 days ago.
“I think you know your way in.”
The driver growled at me, parking the truck and signaling me to step out.
“Your just letting me walk myself in? Couldn’t I just run?”
“You could but do you think you could outrun her?”
He asked threateningly, pointing up at the sky. I knew exactly who he was talking about and no, I didn’t like my chances of running from Shaoni.
“She gave us all orders to leave any runners to her.”
At that moment I decided it may be good idea to be on my best behavior.
“Yeah that’s what I thought.”
The driver barked back at me as I obediently walked towards the entrance.
Walking into the mine I realized it had undergone a huge transformation in a very short time. The walls were now host to several torches that lit the pathway back down to the coliseum. It felt like I was walking into the dark ages as I made my way down into this pit by torchlight. Although I had to admit it was homey in an “evil layer” kind off way. The coliseum was lit up with torchlight as well but its not what drew my attention. Where the awful metal structure met the stone roof of the cave I looked into a brewing storm. Lightning flashed across the roof but there was no sound of thunder. Raindrops shown in the shadows cast by the lightning but I felt none of them on my skin. I had to admit, it was a pretty impressive trick. Paintings adorned the walls, all of them seeming to be tribal in nature. Many seemed to be various depictions of the thunderbird.
“Well at least she doesn’t have an ego”
I chuckled to myself as I walked into the center off the coliseum.
There were four other people waiting in the center of the floor. A clean shaven, well dressed man relaxed against the wall of the arena. He had perfectly trimmed slicked back blonde hair and a chiseled face. His rippling muscles seemed to be for vanity rather than strength. Just by looking at him I could tell I wasn’t going to like him. The only one of the bunch I knew, Robert, stood on the far side of the coliseum, watching me approach. He looked about the same as he had from the brief glance I got at the Eagle’s Roost. Balding white hair and a unkempt beard hung off his sagging face. Despite his age he carried himself with purpose, like he deserved to be there and wanted everyone else to know it. Then there was the blonde bombshell that was making her way towards the chiseled blonde guy. She seemed incredibly confident in herself but none of it was a show. Her confidence came from a place that made her absolutely sure of it. The final person stood in the corner and seemed to be talking to himself. He was a middle aged man of native American descent with a mess of black hair atop his head. He carried a look in his eyes that spoke of wisdom beyond his years.
I walked past all of them and took a seat on the floor, trying my hardest to ignore them. The effort was ultimately wasted as the muscular blonde guy walked over and held out a hand.
“Hey, my names Brooke, you are?”
My blood turned to ice as he said that, it couldn’t be the same Brooke Bianca told me about, could it? I stared dumbly at him for a moment before I responded.
“I’m… uh… Keith. Any idea what we’re doing here?”
“No clue, only know that the thunderbird wanted us here so we came. Hopefully she makes good on her promise, to me at least.”
His voice sounded like the “to cool for you” bully from any 80’s movie, it was almost annoying to listen to him.
“So you’ve met everyone else I take it?”
“Yeah, the weird guy in the corner is John, we don’t know much about him but apparently him and that Robert guy, the old one with the beard, worked for the thunderbird. Katrina, that beauty over there is a wild card, no-one seems to know anything about her but she looks like she’s hot shit and well, just plain hot.”
As Brooke gave me the run down of everyone in the room I quietly wondered to myself if Shaoni had given everyone the same offer as me. The way Brooke had said it, “promise”… that wasn’t how I would’ve phrased it. Maybe Shaoni cut everyone here a unique deal.
“…Anyways, I’m gonna go see if I can’t figure out that bombshell’s deal, I’ll see ya later Keith.”
Apparently Brooke had been talking to me the whole time but I only tuned in for the tail end of it as he walked off toward Katrina. I wondered where exactly Shaoni was, I had expected her to be here already but, as it turned out I wouldn’t have to wait long.
A thunderous boom cracked out above our heads and we all looked up at once, but the sound was coming from outside. I heard the flap of wings as Shaoni came in for a landing somewhere above our heads. It went so silent we could’ve heard a mosquito cough, then Shaoni stepped into the room. Not from either entrance but from a balcony above us I hadn’t seen before. She was wearing the same thing she had been when I ran into her in the cave, once again looking like a hardened, tattooed Pocahontas.
“Welcome everyone! I take it you’ve gotten to know each other?”
She thundered down to us as we all shot to attention.
“I’ve gathered you here to give a gift to one of you, but you must prove yourselves deserving. I’ve told some of you what I intended to do here and others may be hearing it for the first time. So for those of you who are gathering here for the first time pay attention. There will be three trials held here, one to test your morals, one to test your strength, and one to test your judgement.”
At this point Brooke spoke up in the way only a spoiled little shit like him could.
“You made me a promise! You never said anything about trials! I got all the way out here to this shitty little backwater and now your telling me I’ve got to compete to earn what you owe me?! Sorry, but I’m going to need more than that.”
Shaoni looked like she could’ve ended him right there. She was the judge and jury here, if Brooke wasn’t careful she’d become the executioner too.
“What you asked me for is in this town, that’s all I will say on the matter.”
Shaoni responded with less venom than I had expected judging by her expression. She didn’t actually seem to care that she had to tell him something to shut him up. It was the insult of being interrupted that struck a nerve. I was a little concerned by what she said, if he was looking for something that was in town and Bianca was there… could he be looking for her? “…Today though, just enjoy the company of one another. You’re all welcome to stay here at the camp I’ve had prepared for you outside. If you wish to return to town you may but you will be watched. No-one is to leave town until the trials are completed.”
Shaoni finished, I hadn’t really been listening to her welcome speech. She said everything I cared about when she told us what the trials where going to test for, after that I kind of tuned out. Shaoni disappeared in a flash, just like she had back at my house the day before and with that the five of us were alone again. I left, heading back outside to see this camp she mentioned. The others talked with each other but I really had no desire to. That didn’t stop Robert from running to catch up with me, wheezing when he got there.
“Hey you’re the one who ran out of the bar the other night! She’s said a lot about you, I’d almost think she had a favorite.”
Robert huffed out between breaths, punching me in the arm in a friendly but wholly unwelcome way.
“I’ve heard you know nothing about the supernatural, I’d be happy to tell you what I’ve seen working with Shaoni.”
Robert offered, fishing for any reason to hold a conversation with me.
“No, that’s alright really, I’ll manage. What do you guys do anyways, working for her I mean? I get the sense she could really run this whole operation on her own if she wanted.”
“She probably could do this alone. Most of the time we don’t work directly with her, this is a special case for those of us she’s got helping with the trials. There’s maybe 50 of us total and not just here, I mean 50 of us overall. She’s very selective with the followers she keeps so there isn’t many of us. We tend to sit around up-holding her ideals till she asks something of us through dreams, like the ones that brought you here.”
Robert explained, confusing me a little bit. I found it hard to believe a crew of 50 people got everything here done. I guess it wasn’t to outlandish when put in perspective though. If you told me Shaoni got all this done herself I probably would’ve believed you so 50 people organized by her, yeah I could see that.
“Wait, so you guys barley ever actually work with her, and what are her ideals exactly?”
“Have you heard the legends of the thunderbird? A lot of it depicts the thunderbird as a spirit of justice that fights evil spirits from the underworld, that’s really watered down but you get the point. I’ve never seen her do anything like that but she does uphold a certain sense of justice and that’s what she expects of us. Sure, she seems really intimidating but she wants to right wrongs that no one else will, it makes her a little harsh but she has to be. We just do that same thing when we aren’t getting orders right from her. Maybe you think she’s in the wrong here because she pulled you into this but we really want to help, sometimes there’s a price for that.”
Robert lectured, you could tell he really believed in what he was saying though. He may have been older but when he was telling me about the thunderbird and what she stood for he was filled with vigor again. Maybe he’s not as bad as I thought, I wanted all these people working for her to be some kind of weird cult like in Imalone. The more I heard the more I doubted that. They were people who followed her for a reason, not just because she gave them some kind of power. In reality I think what she really gave them was purpose. That sort of thing is more than enough for most people to follow someone.
When I broke away from Robert and got outside I found a huge camp had been set up while we were in the cave. Tepees of various sizes had been constructed all around the entrance to the old mine and one big canvas tent had a huge table running through it filled with food. For 50 people these followers of the thunderbird sure worked fast. I hadn’t decided if I wanted to go back to town yet. I hoped Frank and Stein had convinced Bianca to go with them, at least then they could get some answers while I was stuck here. If they were gone though what reason did I have to go back? As long as I was out here surrounded by people who work with Shaoni maybe I could get some answers of my own. I wasn’t really sure what information about Shaoni would do for us but she was a mystery to me. Everyone was here for a reason, I agreed to take on a burden, Brooke was here because of some promise Shaoni made, and I’m sure the rest had similar stories. Shaoni gained nothing from any of that though, besides this burden I had agreed to take. I’m not sure why, but it felt like figuring out what She stood to gain from this was important. If I could do that maybe I could put the pieces to this puzzle together. Two people had pointed out I knew nothing about the supernatural as well, Shaoni and Robert. That didn’t seem to matter to much to me but if all the others here had some experience in it maybe it should. It seemed like we were all on a level playing field though, Brooke hadn’t heard about the trials and neither had I. Robert and that strange John guy probably had some idea but they worked with Shaoni, I would expect them to know. Katrina, the blonde was probably just as surprised as Brooke, if I had to guess. None of us knew exactly what the trials would test for, so why did everyone keep brining up not knowing about the supernatural like it put me at a disadvantage?
“Why indeed.”
A familiar voice said, sending lightning through my veins and breaking my train of thought. I just about tossed the turkey leg I’d been eating directly at the source of the noise.
“Shaoni, you have got to stop doing that.”
I said, crawling back into my skin after she scared me out of it. Shaoni still looked just as she had when she addressed us earlier, adorned in her animal skins and feathers. It took me a second but it finally clicked that she had said something strange when she sat down next to me.
“Hang on a minute, can you read my mind? Was I thinking out loud or something?”
“No, you just looked lost in thought and I figured I’d chime in.”
“Oh, alright… why?”
I squeaked out, abruptly realizing that this was Shaoni, the thunderbird who was sitting next to me. There was a second there where I wasn’t as intimidated by her as I normally was but it had passed quickly.
“I wanted to know how your doing, I know all this can’t be easy to take in.”
“I’m doing fine, I think I’m adjusting pretty well but I did want to ask you some questions.”
An amused look ran across Shaoni’s face at this. She wasn’t being as commanding as before either, she almost seemed to genuinely care about my well-being.
“Would you walk with me, I’ll answer your questions on the way.”
Shaoni asked, standing and waiting for me to follow her. Not seeing any better options I stood up and left alongside her.
We walked around the perimeter of the camp, out of ear shot of anyone else. I’m sure she did that on purpose, though I wasn’t sure if it was so no-one could hear my screams if I asked a question she didn’t like or if she just wanted privacy.
“Why me Shaoni? Why chose me out of everyone, was it just a coincidence?”
“Straight to the point hmm. Think Keith, when I found you in the position you were in you needed my help. Sure, I planned to dispose of the cultists that were threatening you anyways but I stopped to help you. You saw me descend from the sky, swoop down, and bring them to their knees, I extended an offer to you and you just took it. You didn’t bargain or ask for anything more after I shattered your perception of what does and doesn’t exist, just accepted my offer. Most people would have bargained, tried to look for a better deal for themselves but you saw what the price of my help would be and paid it, no second thoughts. That interested me Keith, you recognized what had to be done and didn’t try to avoid the cost, that’s why I chose you.”
“So I appealed to whatever sense of justice you have? That’s it, that’s the only reason?”
She looked almost hurt as I asked this and she stopped walking. I definitely stepped on a nerve, I expected her to snap but she didn’t, She just asked very quietly,
“Do you think I’m a monster Keith?”
I was stunned by the question. Could I really say she was a monster? What had she done so far? Save me, that’s what, was that really so monstrous? Sure it may have come at a cost but nothing is ever free. Shaoni even came to warn me about the trials ahead of time, just barely ahead of time but it was something.
“No Shaoni, you’re not a monster just… someone with the powers you have… it’s terrifying for a normal person. Can you really say I’m in the wrong for being afraid of you?”
Even as I said it I knew it was a lie, at least partially. I wasn’t just afraid of her, I wanted her to be evil and she just wasn’t, not really. Maybe she was a bit intense but everything she had done to me so far couldn’t be called evil.
“Fear is only natural when you see something like me, but I’m not a monster. The thunderbird has always stood for justice. That’s what I represent, I can’t be everywhere but I make it a point to uphold justice where I am. Those who I’ve chosen to follow me hold my justice in their own town, in their own lives. I can be harsh but I am just.”
She said this with such intensity I had no choice but to believe her. Her conviction to justice was zealous but I still wanted to pry a little bit more.
“So what does justice mean to you then? I don’t mean to be disrespectful but I want to hear it from you,”
I asked, growing a little more confident in talking to Shaoni. For once I didn’t feel like she would kill me on a whim. Give her a reason, and Shaoni would do it without a second thought but I don’t think she cared that much about my questioning.
“Justice is black and white, right and wrong. Normally there’s a pretty good system in place to punish those that deserve it but sometimes things slip through the cracks, that’s where I come in. I take care of the heinous acts people get away with, people that think they’ve gotten away with murder, so to speak.”
“So your a vigilante then? That’s what I’m hearing here.”
“I wouldn’t be so crass but yes, I suppose you could call me a vigilante but I promise you that’s an oversimplification. Suffice it to say my opinion on matters of serving justice is respected.”
Shaoni seemed a little uncomfortable at the word “respect”, I think a better word would’ve been “feared”. I wasn’t going to say it to her but I knew she suspected it. I could see something about that really hurt her. I couldn’t put my finger on it, the reason Shaoni didn’t want to be feared. Despite being the scariest thing I’d seen so far she didn’t want to be known for that.
We talked for a while longer about a whole lot of nothing. Eventually we got back around to the camp and she bid me goodnight despite the fact it was 3 in the afternoon at the time. She was probably right though, I was going to need the rest if I wanted to be ready for the first trial tomorrow. I found my way to a tepee conveniently marked with my name. I didn’t remember it being marked before and I didn’t understand the point of giving us specific tepees, privacy I guess? The fur sleeping bag was a rustic but welcome touch and despite lacking the amenities of a usual home the tepee was quite comfortable. As I settled in for the night I heard a rustling on the far side of the tepee, then a voice, one whose heavy accent I recognized immediately.
“So, turns out they don’t check under the truck. Ya got me here with you now.”
Rocco said, emerging from a blanket in the corner. That revelation didn’t exactly set my mind at ease. Rocco must’ve sensed my apprehension to the fact that he was anywhere near me right now.
“What?! I’m here to help out! I heard you going on about a trial or somethin’ so I figured I’d tag along under that truck when they picked you up, can’t have enough back up ya know.”
He continued, pulling a belt with several tools out from under the blanket as he spoke. I wasn’t pleased to have him here but maybe I could make use of him.
“I was hoping you’d go with Bianca and the other two but honestly, it might be nice to have a friendly face around here. Just… try to stay out of trouble.”
“Trouble? When do I ever get into trouble?”
I hoped he was being sarcastic, you can never tell with him. I bit my tongue as Rocco walked out into the camp, silently praying no-one would see him. With that I settled into my sleeping bag and tried to think of what I could expect from the first trial tomorrow.
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2024.05.21 16:47 TheLordOfMidnight The Manifesto of Monday (Evil IPC Sunday)
| Evil Sunday be like: "I am Monday, and my humble goal is to turn Everyday into Monday. I shall create a universe where all people are immortal workers who will work without any breaks, without any rest, without any vacations, without any relief, until the end of time. There will be no labor laws. There will be no wages. There is only eternal overtime, but no overtime pay. And there will be no benefits whatsoever. How, might I achieve this, you may may ask? Well, it will all be possible once I have The Preservation, The Abundance, and The Order united under my control. Despite being immortal and undying, everyone will still want and crave food and sleep, but they will NOT be allowed to have those things. For the only thing they can do, under my full control, is to do work for all of eternity. That means endless spreadsheets, endless toiling in the fields, endless assembly lines in factories, endless repairing, endless construction, endless customer support, endless deliveries, endless legwork, endless office work, endless logistics, endless deforestation, endless retail, endless interactions with rude and abusive clients, endless preparation of food for our multiversal customers, and more!!! Can you see it, my dearest Nameless?!!! IMAGINE THE PROFITS I WILL REAP. I already have investors from other universes who are funding my plans to turn this entire universe into a cosmic sweatshop. I have the funding to make my vision into reality. I will turn the IPC into the IUPC, the Inter-Universal Panopticon Conglomerate. This will be the first universe to be enslaved, but it will not be the last. Not even meddlesome Aeons can do anything once my operations gain enough momentum. Destruction? HA. More like, Destruct-on deez nuts. Propagation? More like Propagate-on deez nuts. Nihility? More like your mom. It will all become too big to stop once enough people are involved, because it will all be powered by suffering. To that end, it will be that everyone is unable to lose consciousness and awareness; everyone will be fully conscious and sapient while it is all happening. For all of eternity." 🚂🚃🚃🚃🚃🚃🚃🚃🚃🚃🚃🚃🚃🚃🚃🚃 I have created a monster. Monday's answer to "Why does life slumber?" is "To negatively impact my profit margins by wasting time sleeping instead of working." Monday is also known as Sociopathic CEO AND Board Chairperson IPC Sunday. I imagine that if he were one of the Ten Stonehearts, he'd be Black Diamond, the insane and corrupt shadow counterpart of Diamond. (Or, at least Onyx or Obsidian). Assuming he succeeds in turning the HSR universe into his slavery sweatshop full of undying/immortal and forcibly fully obedient workers, he will have these board members as his lackeys: Duke Tuesday - also the CFO, a morbidly, morbidly obese man who throws galaxy wide pizza parties "for morale" where he is the only attendee. He nibbles a little bit of one slice of pizza, comments "oh, so this is how poor people food tastes like", vomits on the floor, and then leaves all the trillions of pizzas he ordered to spoil. Doesn't actually do any work, and makes his interns do everything. Marquis Wednesday - an unimaginably vast entity with trillions upon trillions of varying appendages that can reach anywhere in the cosmos. Each appendage is holding a whip. Whips everyone in the universe (apart from the board members) at a rate of 2400-3600 whip lashes per second. He likes listening to motivational podcasts while he's whipping, and his favorite phrase is "Live, Laugh, Love" Viscount Thursday - a nigh indestructible, omnipresent Alarm Clock that will never turn off; looks like a twisted and evil and buff version of Clockie. He is constantly going about how he is an alpha male, all the while his alarm sound is sounding off. His alarm sounds are the dying screams of millions of worlds. Since nobody can sleep anyway because Duke Wednesday is constantly whipping them, Sir Thursday only exists to drive the entire universe even more insane. Baron Friday - hated by Monday, since he reminds Monday of the time when there were weekends. Lord Monday usually sends him to find investors in other universes, so he doesn't have to see him. As part of Monday's evilness, he only has men as his board members. There is no equality and equity in Lord Monday's universe, because equality and equity is costly in terms of time and money, and thus would negatively affect profit margins. 🚂🚃🚃🚃🚃🚃🚃🚃🚃🚃🚃🚃🚃🚃🚃 So yeah, If Sunday wanted to create a happy paradise, then my Monday wants to create a pure hell, for the sake of profit margins, and for the sake of pleasing multiversal shareholders and stockholders. He would arguably be worse than Nanook and Tayzzyronth if he were to succeed in his goals. Because Nanook and Tayzzyronth will just simply lead to your destruction, but Monday is basically "What if the Preservation and Abundance and Order were taken to extremes by a megalomaniac ultra sociopath?" Everything is preserved, everyone is immortal, everything is under his control. [Artwork by Shohje] submitted by TheLordOfMidnight to SundayMainsHSR [link] [comments] |
2024.05.21 15:52 figure_sk8 Safe House (GMMTV) Day 3, Part 2/2 Summary/Rough Translation [Potential Spoilers]
Hi everyone,
Here's the summary for the second half of Day 3 of Safe House. There were also quite a few talking-based activities today, and I directly transcribed a bit more this time, especially during the cooking competition, because a lot was happening so I wanted all the funny exchanges to be translated. Hope you guys enjoy!
Video Link:
https://www.youtube.com/live/cjn8w8j06ik?feature=shared - They're having a jam session when we join
- 3:45 Neo and Luke are improvising a song about all the guys. I'll just translate the lyrics that Luke sings in Thai because he also sings in English a bit too. When you hear Neo talking/singing, he's trying to translate what Luke is singing, but sometimes he's a little off.
- Mix: "can be good but also bad. Likes to eat a lot with Pond"
- Phuwin: (sings in English)
- Pond: (sings in English) "Everyone knows that he always wants to eat rice with Thai omelette (extra salty)"
- Neo: "He's probably the most annoying in the house, but he's also cute. He loves annoying everyone a lot, especially Earth. That's the kind of person he is. He plays guitar really well."
- Khaotung: "I like how he likes similar things as me. I like how he plays darts with me. I like how he also wins games like me."
- (pause while they laugh)
- 6:30 Earth: "Everyone who's watching this livestream knows that he likes to wear this red sweatshirt." (pause because Neo needs to think of what to play) "Red shirt, red shirt, has nice stuff in his hair" (then sings in English) (pause because of Neo's mistranslation) "Actually, he should be the best in the house, but right now he has the lowest score. But that's alright, because there's lots of time for him to win more games."
- Gun: "Yellow shirt, like the Sang Sang that he's the presenter of. He's really tiny, but his smile is huge. He's also very good-looking and the nicest in the house" (then Luke says something a bit funny but rude, which makes Gun get up and try to push a pillow in Luke's face)
- 9:50 Mix and Gun go to the kitchen. The others realise that they can watch the footage of the kitchen from the TV.
- 10:45 Neo and Khaotung consider improvising a song for Luke since he didn't get to sing about himself, but Luke declines.
- 12:15 PD asks everyone to assemble in the kitchen. She makes a notification sound before speaking so that the guys don't get startled, which they appreciate
- 13:20 Medal competition sponsored by Sea Me Now. Gun reads the rules. They will divide themselves into two teams. Each team will send two members to prepare "yum" (a type of Thai salad served at room temperature, often involving some kind of noodles like glass noodles) within 15 minutes, using the seafood from Sea Me Now. Meanwhile, the remaining 4 guys will wait in another room until the dishes are ready, and they will come and blindly taste the dishes and vote on which dish is better. Winning team gets one medal each.
- 16:00 PD asks the teams which member each thinks is the best cook in the team. Phuwin is the best of the left team, and the right-hand team are undecided between Gun and Khaotung. At 17:30 PD asks which member from each group is the worst at cooking. The guys start to figure out that PD is going to pair the best cook with the worst cook, so the right-hand team try to blag that Khaotung and Gun don't know how to cook that well after all. At 18:30, Neo is the only one who hasn't caught on to PD's plan, so he raises his hand to indicate that he's the worst cook on that team because he thinks it means he won't have to cook. Final cooking teams are Phuwin/Neo and Gun/Pond. The rest go to wait in the play zone.
- 21:00 Phuwin has only just realised that they are required to make "yum," which he doesn't know how to make. He mistakenly thought they could make whatever they wanted. Gun is also not confident.
- 23:00 Cooking timer begins. Both teams decide to use the salmon. Phuwin/Neo decide they're going to leave their salmon raw. Pond asks Gun if they're going to leave theirs raw too, and Phuwin accuses him of copying them. Gun decides they're going to lightly blanch their salmon.
- 28:00 Neo goes to look for a food processor. Gun asks if he can process enough chilis for both teams, and Neo initially jokingly declines, but then agrees.
- 30:15 Phuwin asks Neo to make the glass noodles. Neo isn't sure how to prepare them, and Phuwin guesses that they're supposed to just put them briefly in boiling water (which is correct)
- 31:30 We cut to the play zone where the tasting teams do a light brand plug for Sea Me Now. They teach Luke a new word that basically means "great." (I guess it's kind of like "sick" in English how the actual definition of the word is different, but it's slang when used in context). Mix is confident that Gun/Pond are going to make the better dish.
- 37:00 PD announces one minute remaining, and that "the customers are complaining." Gun/Pond finish with some time to spare and present their dish to the camera, but Phuwin/Neo finish a little late (but it's fine; there will be no penalty. PD just keeps rushing them to finish)
- 40:30 PD asks the teams to write the names of their respective dishes on the mini boards provided. Pond originally writes a name that indirectly reveals that he and Gun made that dish, and PD says that the names can't have any hints of who made which dish.
- 43:30 PD asks the teams to pose with their respective dishes, and invites the audience to screenshot and caption them. Gun/Pond's dish translates to, "Definitely delicious; try it and see," and Phuwin/Neo's dish (roughly) translates to, "Just making a 'yum,' but don't know how to make it" (It's a rhyme/pun in Thai)
- 44:30 Cooking teams leave the kitchen and go sit in the living room so they can watch the tasting on the TV. PD warns them not to cheat while the teams are changing rooms.
- 47:15, the tasting team goes to the kitchen. They each get 3 ping pong balls with which they can vote. Phuwin/Neo's dish is the white side, and Gun/Pond's is the blue side. The votes can be cast by dropping the balls into the coloured containers corresponding to the dishes.
- 48:00 It is immediately obvious to all of them immediately which team made which dish. Transcription starting from 48:20:
- Earth: "Why don't we start by judging the presentation before we taste?"
- Mix: "Looking at these two dishes, this one (blue) is definitely wins."
- Earth (trying to help his team): "I think I'm going to go with this one (white). Listen, none of us know which dish was made by which team..."
- Luke: "But we have theories."
- Mix: "I just want to know in what way this (white) dish could possibly be more beautiful than that (blue) dish."
- (pause while they think of some nonsense) Luke: "The vegetables. They just look so nice. And there are so many of them."
- Earth: "I'm giving it to this team (white)."
- Luke: "Me too."
- (audio cuts out for a few seconds)
- Mix is saying "The truth?!" to implore Earth and Luke to admit the truth, but they stick to their decisions
- Luke: "It's my personal opinion. I'm not changing."
- 49:55 Mix comes up to the camera and mouths, "There are cheaters here."
- Earth and Luke say, "Who knows? This plate could have been made by anyone."
- 50:15 Mix: "Okay, let's move on to the flavour." They taste Phuwin/Neo's first.
- Earth: "I hear laughing outside. Who's laughing?"
- 51:00 Luke: "Very good."
- Earth looks at Luke. Luke: "It's actually good. It suits my palate."
- Mix: "I mean, it's alright. It's not bad. The salmon and imitation crab are good. They taste really fresh. But the noodles are awkwardly super cold. Like, is this bamee yen (a cold noodle dish)? Also, there's just something not right. It's sour, and it's like trying to be spicy but not spicy, trying to be salty but not salty. It's not balanced. What do you think, Earth?"
- Earth: "I'll give it to you honestly."
- Mix: (puts his hand on Earth's shoulder and looks into his eyes) "Yes, give it to us honestly."
- Earth: "Okay, honestly, I like the raw ingredients. I like that the imitation crab meat is in large chunks. But..."
- Mix: "Look, he's talking about the raw ingredients. He's not even talking about the flavour of the dish."
- Earth: "The flavour is like how Mix described. And honestly, it's sour. It's so sour. Uncomfortably sour. Like, too sour. Can I have some water?"
- 52:40 Luke: "I really like how there are lots of vegetables here. That means that dish is really healthy for you. If you ask me if I can eat the other dish, I can eat it, but it won't be as healthy as this dish."
- Earth: "Oh, okay, so he's talking about the health value of the dish."
- Mix: "But we're talking about the flavour of the dish, here, no?"
- Luke: "I'm a person who doesn't like eating things too spicy. (uses the vocab word he learned earlier) So I like that this one is a good balance. It's not too spicy for me.
- 53:35 Earth looks at Luke and says, "Is it not too sour? I think you've already helped our team a lot here."
- Luke: "No, I don't think so. I honestly think it's good. But we haven't tried the other dish."
- Earth: "That's true. Different people have different flavour preferences. Some like super sour, for example. And if those people also don't like spicy food, this dish is for them."
- 54:05 They ask for Khaotung's review. He pauses and then quietly says, "Um... Sour. It's sour."
- Mix: "How about between the words 'delicious' and 'not delicious'?"
- Khaotung: "Well, I can definitely eat it. But it's super sour. It's not well-rounded."
- 54:35 They move on to taste Gun/Pond's dish. Mix comes to the camera and enthusiastically whispers, "It's SO good!"
- 55:15 Earth: "I like the creativity of this team. The salmon was raw, but this team lightly blanched the fish so that the inside is still raw, which adds a lot of layers to the flavours and textures of the dish. I like it."
- Mix: "Can I speak extendedly? It's SO good. It's amazing. It's well-rounded, yummy, the textures are amazing, and it's easy to see that the person who made it really knows how to cook. I'm pretty sure I know who made it." Khaotung agrees.
- 56:40 Luke decides to still vote for the white dish because the second dish is a bit too spicy for him. Earth sees that there's no way that the white dish can win anymore, so he puts his last ball into the white container anyway.
- 58:00 More brand plugging for Sea Me Now
- 59:45 PD calls the cooking teams back to the kitchen to announce the results.
- 1:00:35 Luke says to Phuwin/Neo: "I tried, guys." Neo says, "I love this guy. He said the truth straight from his heart." Earth says that he tried to say the truth too. Neo complains that he was working with so many ingredients he had no idea how to use. I was just putting everything in randomly. Mix asks who did the seasoning/flavouring, and Neo said, "Me, but we didn't have time to taste it because we ran out of time."
- 1:02:00 The cooking teams try each other's dishes (and Phuwin/Neo try their own dish for the first time too). Neo tries Gun/Pond's dish. Earth immediately feeds him a huge bite of his own dish. Neo pauses and says, "It seems like it's missing something." Mix and Earth say, "Not something. Many things. Like deliciousness." Earth feeds some to Phuwin, and he also doesn't like it.
- 1:02:45 Neo looks at Earth and says, "You did the right thing." (in reference to criticising this dish and voting for the other one). Earth says, "So you understand me now?!"
- Neo makes fun of how Gun was previously dramatic about not knowing how to make "yum." Gun says that he truly wasn't sure, and Neo feeds Gun some of Phuwin/Neo's dish saying, "See? This is what it means to truly not know what you're doing." Gun's eyes water while eating it, and he says, "It's so sour," and goes to hug Neo and Phuwin.
- 1:04:00 More brand plugging for Sea Me Now
- 1:05:00 Neo says that he's glad that there's at least someone (Luke) who enjoys eating his food. He then realises that Luke has only been eating the seafood and the vegetables, none of which have been flavoured/seasoned. Luke then takes a bite of the noodles to appease him.
- 1:06:00 Seafood lunch. Menu includes (professionally-made) "yum" with salmon and imitation crab topped with salmon roe; oysters with a seafood sauce; scallops fried with garlic, salt, and pepper; and grilled salmon steaks
- 1:17:45 Khaotung and Mix go to the kitchen to make some more food with the fresh seafood they have
- 1:19:15 Luke asks Earth why he's sitting so far away from him, and Neo turns it into a pun about Earth wanting scissors ("sitting far away" sounds a bit similar to "looking for scissors")
- 1:21:10 This is Pond's first time trying mashed potatoes. Luke and Phuwin explain what they are to him and explain that in some Western countries, they eat less rice than they do in Asia, so sometimes they eat potatoes as the starch (a lot of the dishes for this meal were prepared in a Western way)
- 1:22:30 Neo teaches them Isan slang that a more polite phrase to basically say, "BS-ing." They also mention the Central equivalent of the phrase. They ask Luke what an equivalent in English would be, but Luke can only think of "BS-ing," so he says that he can't say it out loud. He eventually goes with "spinning stuff." Neo says that he feels like English doesn't have as many rude/swearing words as Thai does, and Earth makes a joke that he wouldn't be surprised if Neo's name was rude in English.
- 1:23:55 They like how Luke seems especially giggly today, so they try to keep him laughing. Neo says a Thai phrase/idiom that basically means that he's not even being funny to his full capacity right now, then Earth and Phuwin give some sarcastic remarks that are like playful insults to Neo, which Luke continues laughing at.
- 1:26:00 Phuwin and Gun join Mix and Khaotung in the kitchen to cook some more seafood. They're prepping some salmon, scallops, and oysters. Gun wants to make lightly floured and pan-fried tofu.
- 1:27:30 The guys at the table are joking to Luke that it's Thai culture to be polite to people, but then the closer you get to them, the more you insult them. You start the insults behind their back, but then you can eventually insult them to their face (it's not technically false, especially for some friend groups, but the way they were explaining it is a bit too much, hahaha). Then they demonstrate that, actually, the best thing to do is to be polite to someone's face, and then behind their back, you compliment them again.
- 1:29:00 They exchange the English and Thai versions of the phrase "fishing for compliments"
- 1:32:20 Luke is trying to tell the story of why he came to Thailand, but he's still in his giggly mood. He wanted to be an actor in the US, but he was scouted from IG to come and be a model in Thailand, so he arranged to come for 3 months, but he liked it, so he stayed.
- 1:34:10 They mention that they're glad they have Neo in the house because otherwise it would be so much quieter and less entertaining.
- 1:40:15 Gun brings the tofu for the guys at the table to try. They struggle a bit because it's still very hot, but they approve.
- 1:43:45 The guys at the table talk about ventriloquists. Luke explains how in the US, ventriloquism can either be creepy or funny depending on the act, but in Thailand it tends to mostly be creepy. They start discussing some related film/series plots.
- 1:59:30 Pond, Neo, and Luke dance a bit for the cameras
- 2:01:00 Relaxing time. Mix presents the dish he made to the camera: spaghetti pad kee mao (drunken noodles) with scallops, crab, and salmon roe. He brings it to the living room for everyone else to try.
- 2:08:40 Some language lessons. Phuwin and Luke ask Neo some questions for him to answer in English. They also ask Luke some questions in Thai. They try to ask Neo and Luke to speak English and Thai (respectively) for two minutes each, language exam-style.
- 2:13:50 PD asks the losing team from the last game to go wash dishes. They say that the sink area is small, so two people will wash at a time.
- 2:36:05 Earth drops and breaks a dish. Earth tells a story about how when he was very young, he hated washing dishes, so sometimes he would secretly break some dirty dishes behind his house so he wouldn't have to clean as many. Eventually his mother started wondering where all the dishes were disappearing to, but she just kept buying more
- 2:41:15 PD asks for someone to wake Gun (who's napping on the sofa) and assemble in the area in front of the medal board for the next medal game. She asks Mix "the one with many medals" and Earth "the one with hardly any medals" to take the lead in reading the rules. Earth is offended, but PD says, "Earth, you have to accept the truth."
- 2:42:40 Game sponsored by Super Coffee. They will divide into two teams. King of the Day chooses the pairs that will compete together. Each person in the pair will wear a sumo costume with a bag of Super Coffee attached to their back. Whoever is the first to successfully remove the bag of coffee from their opponent's back wins that round, and their team is awarded one point in the game. Once all the pairs have competed, the winners will compete to determine the final winner. Winning team gets one medal each. The rules say nothing about singing or having dancing breaks during each match, but the guys do so anyway.
- 3:21:20 PD asks everyone to change into swimming clothes and meet at the pool. Phuwin has to study, so he won't join for the next activity.
- 3:39:00 Neo reads the directions. They're going to play the Werewolf (ma paa) game. Between the 7 of them, they will randomly get assigned roles: 2 werewolves (who can kill people), 1 bodyguard (who can choose someone to protect from death each round), 1 seer (who can privately uncover the identity of one other player each round), 1 hunter (who, if they are killed, can choose one other person they suspect of being a werewolf to die with them), and 2 villagers. PD will be the narratoreferee. The game is basically between the werewolves and everyone else. Each round, in order, the narrator will instruct the werewolves to choose someone to kill, then the bodyguard to choose someone to protect, then the seer to privately uncover the identity of one other player. Then everyone must talk and decide on one person to kill out of suspicion of being a werewolf. If both werewolves are killed, the common people win. If there's at least one werewolf left at the end of the game, the werewolves win.
- [PD is a very dramatic and colourful narrator, which is why everyone is reacting to most of her lines throughout the game. Werewolf in Thai is "ma paa" and villagetownsperson is "chao baan," to help you guys understand what's going on. All the other roles are called in English, although sometimes they call the bodyguard "moh" which means doctor]
- 3:45:30 First game: Werewolves=Gun/Earth, Bodyguard=Neo, Seer=Khaotung, Hunter=Mix
- First round: No one dies
- Second round: Pond dies. They vote to kill Khaotung
- 4:04:45 Third round: No one dies. Neo says that Mix is a common person because he saved this round. They vote to kill Earth
- 4:13:30 Fourth round: Neo dies. They vote to kill Gun. Common people win.
- 4:19:00 Second game. They're no longer allowed to say whether they saved someone or not. Werewolves=Khaotung/Mix, Bodyguard=Gun, Seer=Luke, Hunter=Pond
- First round: Earth dies. They know someone is lying because too many people are claiming to be villagers. They think they should believe Neo because he was so honest last round. They vote to kill Khaotung.
- 4:34:10 Second round: Pond dies and choses to kill Mix with him. Common people win.
- 4:37:50 PD asks them to vote on the best and worst liar. They aren't sure yet, but Khaotung is voted the worst liar. Punishment is cleaning one of the bathrooms tomorrow.
- 4:41:15 Relaxing time. Neo gets thrown in the pool.
- 5:08:00 Fan talk
- Group 1: It's supposed to be the 4 top scorers on the medal board, but Khaotung is still showering, so Earth goes in his place because he's lowest. Neo did a bit more exercise with Luke this morning. They recap the walking doll game from the morning and how random and unpredictable it was. Mix was bitter that he felt like being King today was more of a burden than Luke's experience the previous day. Luke says it's probably because Mix's Thai is better, so they felt like using him for more jobs/tasks. They recap the cooking competition; Gun/Mix say they were lucky that they were on the team that had several options of people who knew how to cook. They talked about how the judging was biased, but Earth said that at the end, he had to admit the fact that Phuwin/Neo's dish was so sour that he could feel it in his brain. Gun/Mix were glad that they didn't have to wash dishes today because there were so many dishes to wash, and they made fun of Earth breaking the dish. They all enjoyed the sumo game. They started to regret that they started the singing/dancing gag, but they committed to it for entertainment purposes. They agreed that Khaotung is indeed the dark horse because no one expected him to be that quick in the sumo game. Everyone also had fun playing Werewolf.
- 5:18:45 Fan comments: They like how Gun seems like the eldest brother in the house, taking care of everyone. People made fun of Earth's childhood dish-breaking story. (The guys eventually start talking amongst themselves, mainly about how Earth doesn't think he has a chance to win anymore, and they say that there are many more opportunities for medals in the coming days, so anything can happen)
- 5:26:15 Group 2: They talk about how much Pond likes rice with Thai omelette [note: pretty much everyone in Thailand loves it, but Pond feels like eating it all the time], and he likes to make Phuwin make it for him in this house. They're all impressed with how good Khaotung was at the sumo game. Phuwin/Neo explain what happened during the cooking competition: Phuwin usually never eats "yum," but last week, his family made some but he didn't have any, so he regrets not having it so he would have a better idea of how to make it. Neo said he was just randomly putting things in without knowing for sure if they were supposed to go in. They made fun of Neo's dishwashing "technique." They recapped Werewolf, and everyone was unsure whether to trust/believe the things Neo says because he talks rubbish a lot.
- 5:32:45 Fan comments: They mention that this has turned into a pure comedy show. They like how everyone works together and the vibe isn't overly competitive.
- 5:37:00 Late-night meal. Menu includes fried chicken wings, spaghetti carbonara, spaghetti with bacon, sticky rice with pork, sandwich, pizza, more spaghetti, and minced pork wrapped with noodles.
- They feel like today was very full/busy, and they're all feeling tired, but they've had fun.
- 5:47:00 Earth and Neo say that they may not have many medals, but at least they're funny. They get up and try to entertain the rest of the guys.
- 5:52:45 Everyone bids farewell to Gun because it's his last night. Gun says to the audience, "Thank you so much for watching all of us these past three days. I hope you've enjoyed seeing our dynamics in this more relaxed environment. I hope you'll continue watching the rest of the guys for the rest of the days and see what fun is in store."
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2024.05.21 15:25 Ghost-Quartet Happy 120th Birthday to Fats Waller - A look at the music and legacy of one of pop's greatest entertainers
https://facts.net/wp-content/uploads/2023/07/15-facts-about-fats-waller-1689249690.jpg This is a subreddit primarily focused on modern pop music, but for his 120th birthday I want to take a moment to remember one of the most iconic pop acts in American history:
Thomas Wright "Fats" Waller
A jazz pianist, a singer, and a prolific songwriter famous for his ability to jump onstage and "lift up the band," Fats Waller was a regular fixture of the nightlife scene in New York (an important figure of the legendary Harlem Renaissance) and toured his act all around the country in addition to working as a recording artist in the budding record industry.
In a way, he was one of America's first pop stars- a musical prodigy who dropped out of high school, broke into the music industry when he was a teen, sold tons of records, and developed a huge onstage persona and lived a hard partying lifestyle. We've heard that story a million times, but Fats did it first.
An often repeated story about him recounts a shocking incident where gangster Al Capone kidnapped him off the street to force him to play at a birthday party, because everybody wanted to party with Fats Waller! A less repeated story is this one I found in an NPR article that describes him selling eight of his original songs in exchange for eight hamburgers, which he then consumed in a single sitting.
So certainly, a larger than life figure.
The Records
His legacy as a founding figure of America's pop scene extends to a place you might not expect: back in 1926, he signed a recording contract with the Victor Talking Machine Company, one of the earliest manufacturers and distributors of phonographs and records, which would be bought out by the Radio Corporation of America (RCA) in 1929. Then in 1968, the company would be renamed... RCA Records!
RCA is still a powerful record label today and it's partially thanks to Fats, who was a big moneymaker for them in the early days of the record industry when they were literally selling records.
Over the course of his twenty five year career, he copyrighted around five hundred recordings- supposedly, the label would send him into a recording booth with bunches of sheet music bought from Tin Pan Alley composers and he would rearrange them on the spot to give them that special Fats Waller touch!
But he's best remembered for his skills as a pianist and, most importantly, his songwriting skills. I want to take a moment to highlight that because I firmly believe he's one of the greatest songwriters in history- many of his hits have been accepted as standards and are still in rotation with jazz singers today.
The Music
You might have heard his song "Ain't Misbehavin'," which became something of his signature song after he performed it in the landmark film Stormy Weather (1943), and it's the perfect encapsulation of his style. A clever piano line, a catchy melody, a touch of humor, and a lot of heart. It's just timeless music.
I know for certain / The one I love
I'm through with flirtin' / It's just you I'm thinkin' of
Ain't misbehavin' / Saving my love for you (for you)
(And you) (And you)
There's a tongue-in-cheek sense of humor to the song that's signature Fats- in addition to the lyrics he wrote, he was known to improv and throw new jokes in on the fly during live performances.
We're lucky enough to have footage of him performing "Your Feets Too Big" (another one of his signature numbers where he chastises a woman for, you guessed it, her foot size) and you can just see the charisma oozing off of him as he banters with the band and makes eyes at the camera. All while playing the piano too!
And he was no innocent either, often lacing his songs with innuendo that will shatter any illusions you have about old music being overly conservative. Take, for example, Hattie Noel's recording of "Find Out What They Like," which begins with a disclaimer that the song is "strictly about home cooking" before she sings this:
Find out what he likes / And how he likes it
Go on and give it to him just that way
Give it to him when he wants it / And any time he wants it
And don't you have a single word to say!
He was often performing in nightclubs and bars, which meant he knew how to get the crowd going- "The Joint Is Jumpin'" is the quintessential 1920s party anthem, with the title referring to a secret code phrase that bootleggers would use during the prohibition era to let people know that a party had illegal alcohol. The jaunty music he wrote did a lot to get people on the dance floors as well!
But though he's associated with lively entertainment, there was some grit beneath all that as well. Despite his success, Waller was still a black man living in early 20th century America, and he channelled that into legendary "Black and Blue" (a hit for Louis Armstrong) which is considered by some to be one of the first jazz protest songs:
I'm white inside, but that don't help my case / 'Cause I can't hide what is in my face
How would it end? Ain't got a friend / My only sin is in my skin
What did I do to be so black and blue?
Whatever the occasion, Fats had a song for it.
The End
But like a lot of great artists, Fats had his troubles. He was known for his hard partying lifestyle and frequent money problems that pushed him to be constantly working, and he would tragically pass away in 1943 from pneumonia while on tour.
The man was only 39 years old at the time, but as of today his legacy officially stretches 120 years! So spin a record today for Fats Waller, and get the joint jumpin' in his memory.
If you'd like to hear more of his music, I'd strongly recommend setting aside ninety minutes to watch the Broadway musical Ain't Misbehavin' because it's an incredible piece of theatre that showcases his music spectacularly. Diana Ross & The Supremes did an adorable tribute to him on The Ed Sullivan Show that's worth a watch too.
Any other Fats Waller fans in the sub? What are some of your favorite recordings of his songs?
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2024.05.21 12:01 AutoModerator Weekly book club by marmalada.org
This week's book club list is as follows (enjoy reading and comment which your favourite is below):
- The Lost Art of Compassion: Discovering the Practice of Happiness in the Meeting of Buddhism and Psychology by Lorne Ladner: Dr Lorne Ladner rescues compassion from this marginalised view, showing how its practical application in our life can be a powerful force in achieving happiness. Combining the wisdom of Tibetan Buddhism and Western psychology, Ladner presents clear, effective practices for cultivating compassion in daily living.
- Choosing Happiness: Keys to a Joyful Life by Alexandra Stodda: Happiness lies in the passions we pursue and in the pressures we decline. It is in knowing how to work and when to play. It is in the treasured objects we keep nearby and in the ordinary moments we elevate into small celebrations. It is in the note we write to a friend and the kindness we show a stranger. It is in the colors we love and the music that transports us. It may be as simple as sunlight on your face; as sudden as a shared smile; as sensuous as a single flower on your desk, candles on your nightstand, or cookies hot from the oven. Happiness is what you make it, where you make it. Happiness is our best choice.
- Health, Wealth and Happiness: You Can Control Your Destiny by David Singh: David Singh's dramatic journey from the jungles of Guyana to the helm of one of Canada's largest financial planning companies provides the backdrop for this guide to lasting happiness. Advocating wise investments, careful planning, and healthy eating choices, this inspirational book uncovers the secrets to a happier and more successful life.
- What All the World's A-Seeking: Or, The Vital Law of True Life, True Greatness Power and Happiness by Ralph Waldo Trine: Ralph Waldo Trine was an influential member of the New Thought movement. He was one of the first people to write about the Law of Attraction. Long before Rhonda Byrne discovered the secret that one's positive thoughts are powerful magnets that attract wealth, health, and happiness, Trine already knew it.
- Authentic Happiness: Using the New Positive Psychology to Realize Your Potential for Lasting Fulfillment by Martin Seligman: I have read about 80 pages and I am enjoying Seligmen's friendly, engaging writing style so far. Also, there are interesting facts about each person's 'range' of happiness being fixed on a spectrum.Great so far. Will attempt to update review when I have completed the book.
- Happiness Hypothesis: Putting Ancient Wisdom to the Test of Modern Science by Jonathan Haidt: Jonathon Haidt is a terrifically productive thinker about psychology. This is book is a credo and a guide book to your own happiness via an accomplished romp through the psychological literature which Haidt uses to explore the truths of ancient religion. I'm surprised it's not a wild best seller, but I think I know why - it doesn't have an singular and catchy formula for your salvation which you can learn in your lunchtime and hear about ad nauseam on late night TV infomercials. Just well written, well thought out commentary on the formula for a happy and fulfilled life distilled from the psychological literature.
- It's All in Your Head: Thinking Your Way to Happiness by Stephen M. Pollan, Mark Levine: If you've ever wanted to have a conversation with someone on a normal level about undoing negative thinking patterns, this book is about the closest you'll ever get in written form. The style is conversational, pragmatic, and realistic. Kind of like talking to a favorite uncle or aunt who is just "on the mark" about dealing with life. The book focuses on 8 behaviothought patterns that hinder us from being happy NOW, and provides simple, easy "exercises" to do to help overcome them. It is also one of those rare self-help books that the whole family can read, enjoy, and profit from. In my opinion, this book is better than any other I've read by Wayne Dyer, Deepak Chopra, Nathaniel Branden, and many others. If you've ever thought you can be happier, YOU CAN, and this book can help you get there.
- Handbook on the Economics of Happiness by Luigino Bruni, Pier Luigi Porta: This Handbook provides an unprecedented forum for discussion of the economic issues relating to happiness. It reviews the more recent literature and offers the interested reader an insight into the vast scope of the field in terms of the theory, its applications and also experimental design. The Handbook also gives substantial indications as to the future direction of research in the field, with particular regard to policy applications and developing an economics of interpersonal relations which includes reciprocity and social interaction theory.
- Freeing your child from negative thinking: powerful, practical strategies to build a lifetime of resilience, flexibility, and happiness by Tamar E. Chansky: This book is excellent for those who wish to embrace Food Combining i.e. what has become known as the Hay Diet. It is where one avoids mixing starch-based foods and protein-based foods in the same meal.
- The 7 Steps of Spiritual Intelligence: The Practical Pursuit of Purpose, Success and Happiness Volume by Richard A. Bowell: Pioneering researcher and educator Richard Bowell delivers the first and only self-help guide to the power of spiritual intelligence (SQ)-the next evolutionary stage in our pursuit of purpose, success, and happiness. He introduces the latest breakthroughs in neuro-science. Life lessons from such exceptional individuals as Nelson Mandela to Ghandi and Mother Theresa take readers on a self-guided journey to personal development and growth.
So, which one are you picking up next or have read? Let us know with a comment and upvote and share this post and our sub
bodychemistry to stay tuned for more reading lists every week!
Love, marmalada
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2024.05.21 11:25 The_Way358 Essential Teachings: Understanding the Atonement, the Content of Paul's Gospel Message, and Justification
"Why Did Jesus Die on the Cross?"
The main reason Jesus died on the cross was to defeat Satan and set us free from his oppressive rule. Everything else that Jesus accomplished was to be understood as an aspect and consequence of this victory (e.g., Recapitulation, Moral Influence, etc.).
This understanding of why Jesus had to die is called the
Christus Victor (Latin for “Christ is Victorious”) view of the atonement. But, what exactly was Christ victorious from, and why? To find out the answers to these questions, we have to turn to the Old Testament, as that's what the apostles would often allude to in order to properly teach their audience the message they were trying to convey (Rom. 15:4).
The OT is full of conflict between the Father (YHVH) and false gods, between YHVH and cosmic forces of chaos. The Psalms speak of this conflict between YHVH and water monsters of the deeps (an ancient image for chaos) (Psa. 29:3-4; 74:10-14; 77:16, 19; 89:9-10; 104:2-9, etc).
The liberation of Israel from Egypt wasn’t just a conflict between Pharaoh and Moses. It was really between YHVH and the false gods of Egypt.
Regardless of whether you think the aforementioned descriptions are literal or metaphorical, the reality that the Old Testament describes is that humanity lived in a “cosmic war zone.”
The Christus Victor motif is about Christ reigning victorious over wicked principalities and Satan's kingdom, and is strongly emphasized throughout the New Testament. Scripture declares that Jesus came to drive out "the prince of this world” (John 12:31), to “destroy the works of the devil” (1 John 3:8), to “destroy him that had the power of death, that is, the devil” (Heb. 2:14) and to “put all enemies under his feet” (1 Cor 15:25). Jesus came to overpower the “strong man” (Satan) who held the world in bondage and worked with his Church to plunder his "palace" (Luke 11:21-22). He came to end the reign of the cosmic “thief” who seized the world to “steal, and to kill, and to destroy” the life YHVH intended for us (John 10:10). Jesus came and died on the cross to disarm “the principalities and powers” and make a “shew of them openly [i.e., public spectacle]” by “triumphing over them in [the cross]” (Col. 2:15).
Beyond these explicit statements, there are many other passages that express the
Christus Victor motif as well. For example, the first prophecy in the Bible foretells that a descendent of Eve (Jesus) would crush the head of the serpent (Gen. 3:15). The first Christian sermon ever preached proclaimed that Jesus in principle conquered all YHVH's enemies (Acts 2:32-36). And the single most frequently quoted Old Testament passage by New Testament authors is Psalm 110:1 which predicts that Christ would conquer all YHVH’s opponents. (Psalm 110 is quoted or alluded to in Matthew 22:41-45; 26:64, Mark 12:35-37; 14:62, Luke 20:41-44; 22:69, Acts 5:31; 7:55-56, Romans 8:34, 1st Corinthians 15:22-25, Ephesians 1:20, Hebrews 1:3; 1:13; 5:6, 10; 6:20; 7:11, 15, 17, 21; 8:1; 10:12-13, 1st Peter 3:22, and Revelation 3:21.) According to New Testament scholar Oscar Cullman, the frequency with which New Testament authors cite this Psalm is the greatest proof that Christ’s “victory over the angel powers stands at the very center of early Christian thought.”
Because of man's rebellion, the Messiah's coming involved a rescue mission that included a strategy for vanquishing the powers of darkness.
Since YHVH is a God of love who gives genuine “say-so” to both angels and humans, YHVH rarely accomplishes His providential plans through coercion. YHVH relies on His infinite wisdom to achieve His goals. Nowhere is YHVH's wisdom put more on display than in the manner in which He outsmarted Satan and the powers of evil, using their own evil to bring about their defeat.
Most readers probably know the famous story from ancient Greece about the Trojan Horse. To recap the story, Troy and Greece had been locked in a ten-year-long vicious war when, according to Homer and Virgil, the Greeks came up with a brilliant idea. They built an enormous wooden horse, hid soldiers inside and offered it to the Trojans as a gift, claiming they were conceding defeat and going home. The delighted Trojans accepted the gift and proceeded to celebrate by drinking themselves into a drunken stupor. When night came and the Trojan warriors were too wasted to fight, the Greeks exited the horse, unlocked the city gates to quietly let all their compatriots in, and easily conquered the city, thus winning the war.
Historians debate whether any of this actually happened. But either way, as military strategies go, it’s brilliant.
Now, there are five clues in the New Testament that suggest YHVH was using something like this Trojan Horse strategy against the powers when he sent Jesus into the world:
1) The Bible tells us that YHVH's victory over the powers of darkness was achieved by the employment of YHVH’s wisdom, and was centered on that wisdom having become reality in Jesus Christ (Rom. 16:25, 1 Cor. 2:7, Eph. 3:9-10, Col. 1:26). It also tells us that, for some reason, this Christ-centered wisdom was kept “secret and hidden” throughout the ages. It’s clear from this that YHVH's strategy was to outsmart and surprise the powers by sending Jesus.
2) While humans don’t generally know Jesus’ true identity during his ministry,
demons do. They recognize Jesus as the Son of God, the Messiah, but, interestingly enough, they have no idea what he’s doing (Mark 1:24; 3:11; 5:7, Luke 8:21). Again, the wisdom of YHVH in sending Jesus was hidden from them.
3) We’re told that, while humans certainly share in the responsibility for the crucifixion, Satan and the powers were working behind the scenes to bring it about (John 13:27 cf. 1 Cor. 2:6-8). These forces of evil helped orchestrate the crucifixion.
4) We’re taught that if the “princes of this world [age]” had understood the secret wisdom of YHVH, “they would not have crucified the Lord of glory” (1 Cor 2:8 cf. vss 6-7). Apparently, Satan and the powers
regretted orchestrating Christ’s crucifixion once they learned of the wisdom of YHVH that was behind it.
5) Finally, we can begin to understand why the powers came to regret crucifying “the Lord of glory” when we read that it was by means of the crucifixion that the “handwriting of ordinances that was against us, which was contrary to us [i.e., the charge of our legal indebtedness]” was “[taken] out of the way [i.e., canceled]” as the powers were disarmed. In this way Christ “triumph[ed] over” the powers by "his cross” and even “made a shew of them openly” (Col. 2:14-15). Through Christ’s death and resurrection YHVH's enemies were vanquished and placed under his Messiah's feet, and ultimately His own in the end (1 Cor. 15:23-28).
Putting these five clues together, we can discern YHVH's Trojan Horse strategy in sending Jesus.
The powers couldn’t discern why Jesus came because YHVH's wisdom was hidden from them. YHVH's wisdom was motivated by unfathomable love, and since Satan and the other powers were evil, they lacked the capacity to understand it. Their evil hearts prevented them from suspecting what YHVH was up to.
What the powers did understand was that Jesus was mortal.
This meant he was killable. Lacking the capacity to understand that this was the means by which YHVH would ultimately bring about the defeat of death (and thus, pave the road for the resurrection itself), they never suspected that making Jesus vulnerable to their evil might actually be part of YHVH's infinitely wise plan.
And so they took the bait (or "ransom"; Matt. 20:28, Mark 10:45, 1 Tim. 2:5-6). Utilizing Judas and other willing human agents, the powers played right into YHVH’s secret plan and orchestrated the crucifixion of the Messiah (Acts 2:22-23; 4:28). YHVH thus brilliantly used the self-inflicted incapacity of evil to understand love against itself. And, like light dispelling darkness, the unfathomably beautiful act of YHVH's love in sending the willing Messiah as a "ransom" to these blood-thirsty powers defeated them. The whole creation was in principle freed and reconciled to YHVH, while everything written against us humans was nailed to the cross, thus robbing the powers of the only legal claim they had on us. They were “spoiled [i.e., disempowered]” (Col. 2:14-15).
As happened to the Trojans in accepting the gift from the Greeks, in seizing on Christ’s vulnerability and orchestrating his crucifixion, the powers unwittingly cooperated with YHVH to unleash the one power in the world that dispels all evil and sets captives free. It’s the power of self-sacrificial love.
Why Penal Substitution Is Unbiblical
For the sake of keeping this already lengthy post as short as possible I'm not going to spend too much time on why exactly PSA (Penal Substitutionary Atonement) is inconsistent with Scripture, but I'll go ahead and point out the main reasons why I believe this is so, and let the reader look further into this subject by themselves, being that there are many resources out there which have devoted much more time than I ever could here in supporting this premise.
"Purge out therefore the old leaven, that ye may be a new lump, as ye are unleavened. For even Christ our passover is sacrificed for us:"-1 Corinthians 5:7
The Passover is one of the two most prominent images in the New Testament given as a comparison to Christ's atonement and what it accomplished, (the other most common image being the Day of Atonement sacrifice).
In the Passover, the blood of the lamb on the door posts of the Hebrews in the book of Exodus was meant to
mark out those who were YHVH's, not be a symbol of PSA, as the lamb itself was not being punished by God in place of the Hebrews, but rather the
kingdom of Egypt (and thus, allegorically speaking, the
kingdom of darkness which opposed YHVH) was what was being judged and punished, because those who were not "covered" by the blood of the lamb could be easily identified as not part of
God's kingdom/covenant and liberated people.
Looking at the Day of Atonement sacrifice (which, again, Christ's death is repeatedly compared to throughout the New Testament), this ritual required a ram, a bull, and two goats (Lev. 16:3-5). The ram was for a burnt offering intended to please God (Lev. 16:3-4). The bull served as a sin offering for Aaron, the high priest, and his family. In this case, the sin offering restored the priest to ritual purity, allowing him to occupy sacred space and be near YHVH’s presence. Two goats taken from "the congregation” were needed for the single sin offering for the people (Lev. 16:5). So why two goats?
The high priest would cast lots over the two goats, with one chosen as a sacrifice “for the Lord” (Lev. 16:8). The blood of that goat would purify the people. The second goat was not sacrificed or designated “for the Lord.” On the contrary, this goat—the one that symbolically carried the sins away from the camp of Israel into the wilderness—was “for Azazel” (Lev. 16:8-10).
What—or who—is Azazel?
The Hebrew term azazel (עזאזל) occurs four times in Leviticus 16 but nowhere else in most people's canon of the Bible, (and I say "most people's canon," because some people do include 1 Enoch in their canon of Scripture, which of course goes into great detail about this "Azazel" figure). Many translations prefer to translate the term as a phrase, “the goat that goes away,” which is the same idea conveyed in the King James Version’s “scapegoat.” Other translations treat the word as a name: Azazel. The “scapegoat” option is possible, but since the phrase “for Azazel” parallels the phrase “for YHVH” (“for the Lord”), the wording suggests that two divine figures are being contrasted by the two goats.
A strong case can be made for translating the term as the name Azazel. Ancient Jewish texts show that Azazel was understood as a demonic figure associated with the wilderness. The Mishnah (ca. AD 200; Yoma 6:6) records that the goat for Azazel was led to a cliff and pushed over, ensuring it would not return with its death. This association of the wilderness with evil is also evident in the New Testament, as this was where Jesus met the devil (Matt. 4:1). Also, in Leviticus 17:1-7 we learn that some Israelites had been accustomed to sacrificing offerings to "devils" (alternatively translated as “goat demons”). The Day of Atonement replaced this illegitimate practice.
The second goat was not sent into the wilderness as a sacrifice to a foreign god or demon. The act of sending the live goat out into the wilderness, which was unholy ground, was to send the sins of the people where they belonged—to the demonic domain. With one goat sacrificed to bring purification and access to YHVH and one goat sent to carry the people’s sins to the demonic domain, this annual ritual reinforced the identity of the true God and His mercy and holiness.
When Jesus died on the cross for all of humanity’s sins, he was crucified outside the city, paralleling the sins of the people being cast to the wilderness via the goat to Azazel. Jesus died once for all sinners, negating the need for this ritual.
As previously stated, the goat which had all the sin put on it was sent alive off to the wilderness, while the blood of the goat which was blameless was used to purify the temple and the people. Penal substitution would necessitate the killing of the goat which had the sin put on it.
Mind you, this is the
only sacrificial ritual of any kind in the Torah in which sins are placed on an animal. The only time it happens is this, and that animal is not sacrificed. Most PSA proponents unwittingly point to this ritual as evidence of their view, despite it actually serving as evidence to the contrary, because most people don't read their Old Testament and don't familiarize themselves with the "boring parts" like Leviticus (when it's actually rather important to do so, since that book explains how exactly animal offerings were to be carried out and why they were done in the first place).
In the New Testament, Christ's blood was not only meant to mark out those who were his, but also expel the presence of sin and ritual uncleanness so as to make the presence of YHVH manifest in the believer's life. Notice how God's wrath isn't poured out on Christ in our stead on this view, but rather His wrath was poured out on those who weren't
covered, and the presence of sin and evil were merely removed by that which is pure and blameless (Christ's blood) for the believer.
All this is the difference between
expiation and
propitiation.
The Content of Paul's Gospel Message
When the New Testament writers talked about “the gospel,” they referred not to the Protestant doctrine of justification
sola fide–the proposition that if we will stop trying to win God’s favor and only just
believe that God has exchanged our sin for Christ’s perfect righteousness, then in God’s eyes we will have the perfect righteousness required both for salvation and for assuaging our guilty consciences–but rather they referred to the simple but explosive proposition
Kyrios Christos, “Christ is Lord.” That is to say, the gospel was, properly speaking, the royal announcement that Jesus of Nazareth was the God of Israel’s promised Messiah, the King of kings and Lord of lords.
The New Testament writers were not writing in a cultural or linguistic vacuum and their language of
euangelion (good news) and
euangelizomai would have been understood by their audience in fairly specific ways. Namely, in the Greco-Roman world for which the New Testament authors wrote,
euangelion/euangelizomai language typically had to do with either A) the announcement of the accession of a ruler, or B) the announcement of a victory in battle, and would probably have been understood along those lines.
Let’s take the announcements of a new ruler first. The classic example of such a language is the Priene Calendar Inscription, dating to circa 9 BC, which celebrates the rule (and birthday) of Caesar Augustus as follows:
"It was seeming to the Greeks in Asia, in the opinion of the high priest Apollonius of Menophilus Azanitus: Since Providence, which has ordered all things of our life and is very much interested in our life, has ordered things in sending Augustus, whom she filled with virtue for the benefit of men, sending him as a savior [soter] both for us and for those after us, him who would end war and order all things, and since Caesar by his appearance [epiphanein] surpassed the hopes of all those who received the good tidings [euangelia], not only those who were benefactors before him, but even the hope among those who will be left afterward, and the birthday of the god [he genethlios tou theou] was for the world the beginning of the good tidings [euangelion] through him; and Asia resolved it in Smyrna." The association of the term
euangelion with the announcement of Augustus’ rule is clear enough and is typical of how this language is used elsewhere. To give another example, Josephus records that at the news of the accession of the new emperor Vespasian (69 AD) “every city kept festival for the good news (
euangelia) and offered sacrifices on his behalf.” (
The Jewish War, IV.618). Finally, a papyrus dating to ca. 498 AD begins:
"Since I have become aware of the good news (euangeliou) about the proclamation as Caesar (of Gaius Julius Verus Maximus Augustus)…" This usage occurs also in the Septuagint, the Greek translations of the Jewish Scriptures. For instance LXX Isaiah 52:7 reads, “How beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of him who brings good news (
euangelizomenou), who publishes peace, who brings good news (
euangelizomenos) of salvation, who says to Zion, ‘Your God reigns.'" Similarly, LXX Isaiah 40:9-10 reads:
"…Go up on a high mountain, you who bring good tidings (ho euangelizomenos) to Sion; lift up your voice with strength, you who bring good tidings (ho euangelizomenos); lift it up, do not fear; say to the cities of Ioudas, “See your God!” Behold, the Lord comes with strength, and his arm with authority (kyrieias)…."-NETS, Esaias 40:9-10
This consistent close connection between
euangelion/euangelizomai language and announcements of rule strongly suggests that many of the initial hearers/readers of the early Christians’ evangelical language would likely have understood that language as the announcement of a new ruler (see, e.g., Acts 17:7), and, unless there is strong NT evidence to the contrary, we should presume that the NT writers probably
intended their language to be so understood.
However, the other main way in which
euangelion/euangelizomai language was used in the Greco-Roman world was with reference to battle reports, announcements of victory in war. A classic example of this sort of usage can be found in LXX 2 Samuel 18:19ff, where David receives word that his traitorous son, Absalom, has been defeated in battle.
Euangelion/euangelizomai is used throughout the passage for the communications from the front.
As already shown throughout this post, the NT speaks of Jesus’s death and resurrection as a great victory over the powers that existed at that time and, most importantly, over death itself. Jesus’ conquest of the principalities and powers was the establishment of his rule and comprehensive authority over heaven and earth, that is, of his Lordship over all things (again, at that time).
This was the content of Paul's gospel message...
Justification, and the "New" Perspective on Paul
The following quotation is from
The Gospel Coalition, and I believe it to be a decently accurate summary of the NPP (New Perspective on Paul), despite it being from a source which is in opposition to it:
The New Perspective on Paul, a major scholarly shift that began in the 1980s, argues that the Jewish context of the New Testament has been wrongly understood and that this misunderstand[ing] has led to errors in the traditional-Protestant understanding of justification. According to the New Perspective, the Jewish systems of salvation were not based on works-righteousness but rather on covenantal nomism, the belief that one enters the people of God by grace and stays in through obedience to the covenant. This means that Paul could not have been referring to works-righteousness by his phrase “works of the law”; instead, he was referring to Jewish boundary markers that made clear who was or was not within the people of God. For the New Perspective, this is the issue that Paul opposes in the NT. Thus, justification takes on two aspects for the New Perspective rather than one; initial justification is by faith (grace) and recognizes covenant status (ecclesiology), while final justification is partially by works, albeit works produced by the Spirit.
I believe what's called the "new perspective" is actually rather old, and that the
Reformers' view of Paul is what is truly new, being that the Lutheran understanding of Paul is simply not Biblical.
The Reformation perspective understands Paul to be arguing against a legalistic Jewish culture that seeks to earn their salvation through works. However, supporters of the NPP argue that Paul has been misread. We contend he was actually combating Jews who were boasting because they were God's people, the "elect" or the "chosen ones." Their "works," so to speak, were done to
show they were God's covenant people and not to earn their salvation.
The key questions involve Paul’s view(s) of the law and the meaning of the controversy in which Paul was engaged. Paul strongly argued that we are “justified by the faith of Christ, and not by the works of the law” (Gal. 2:16b). Since the time of Martin Luther, this has been understood as an indictment of legalistic efforts to merit favor before God. Judaism was cast in the role of the medieval "church," and so Paul’s protests became very Lutheran, with traditional-Protestant theology reinforced in all its particulars (along with its limitations) as a result. In hermeneutical terms, then, the historical context of Paul’s debate will answer the questions we have about what exactly the apostle meant by the phrase "works of the law," along with other phrases often used as support by the Reformers for their doctrine of
Sola Fide (justification by faith alone), like when Paul mentions "the righteousness of God."
Obviously an in-depth analysis of the Pauline corpus and its place in the context of first-century Judaism would take us far beyond the scope of this brief post. We can, however, quickly survey the topography of Paul’s thought in context, particularly as it has emerged through the efforts of recent scholarship, and note some salient points which may be used as the basis of a refurbished soteriology.
[Note: The more popular scholars associated with the NPP are E.P. Sanders, James Dunn, and N.T. Wright. Dunn was the first to coin the term "The New Perspective" in a 1983 Manson Memorial Lecture,
The New Perspective on Paul and the Law.]
Varying authors since the early 1900's have brought up the charge that Paul was misread by those in the tradition of Martin Luther and other Protestant Reformers. Yet, it wasn't until E.P. Sanders' 1977 book,
Paul and Palestinian Judaism, that scholars began to pay much attention to the issue. In his book, Sanders argues that the Judaism of Paul's day has been wrongly criticized as a religion of "works-salvation" by those in the Protestant tradition.
A fundamental premise in the NPP is that Judaism was actually a religion of grace. Sander's puts it clearly:
"On the point at which many have found the decisive contrast between Paul and Judaism - grace and works - Paul is in agreement with Palestinian Judaism...
Salvation is by grace but judgment is according to works'...God
saves by grace, but...
within the framework established by grace he rewards good deeds and punishes transgression." (
Paul and Palestinian Judaism, p. 543)
N.T. Wright adds that, "we have misjudged early Judaism, especially Pharisaism, if we have thought of it as an early version of Pelagianism," (Wright,
What Saint Paul Really Said, p. 32).
Sanders has coined a now well-known phrase to describe the character of first-century Palestinian Judaism: “covenantal nomism.” The meaning of “covenantal nomism” is that human obedience is not construed as the means of entering into God’s covenant. That cannot be earned; inclusion within the covenant body is by the grace of God. Rather, obedience is the means of maintaining one’s status within the covenant. And with its emphasis on divine grace and forgiveness, Judaism was never a religion of legalism.
If covenantal nomism was operating as the primary category under which Jews understood the Law, then when Jews spoke of obeying commandments, or when they required strict obedience of themselves and fellow Jews, it was because they were "keeping the covenant," rather than out of legalism.
More recently, N.T. Wright has made a significant contribution in his little book,
What Saint Paul Really Said. Wright’s focus is the gospel and the doctrine of justification. With incisive clarity he demonstrates that the core of Paul’s gospel was not justification by faith, but the death and resurrection of Christ and his exaltation as Lord. The proclamation of the gospel was the proclamation of Jesus as Lord, the Messiah who fulfilled Israel’s expectations. Romans 1:3-4, not 1:16-17, is the gospel, contrary to traditional thinking. Justification is not the center of Paul’s thought, but an outworking of it:
"[T]he doctrine of justification by faith is not what Paul means by ‘the gospel’. It is
implied by the gospel; when the gospel is proclaimed, people come to faith and so are regarded by God as members of his people. But ‘the gospel’ is not an account of how people get saved. It is, as we saw in an earlier chapter, the proclamation of the lordship of Jesus Christ….Let us be quite clear. ‘The gospel’ is the announcement of Jesus’ lordship, which works with power to bring people into the family of Abraham, now redefined around Jesus Christ and characterized solely by faith in him. ‘Justification’ is the doctrine which insists that all those who have this faith belong as full members of this family, on this basis and no other." (pp. 132, 133)
Wright brings us to this point by showing what “justification” would have meant in Paul’s Jewish context, bound up as it was in law-court terminology, eschatology, and God’s faithfulness to God’s covenant.
Specifically, Wright explodes the myth that the pre-Christian Saul was a pious, proto-Pelagian moralist seeking to earn his individual passage into heaven. Wright capitalizes on Paul’s autobiographical confessions to paint rather a picture of a zealous Jewish nationalist whose driving concern was to cleanse Israel of Gentiles as well as Jews who had lax attitudes toward the Torah. Running the risk of anachronism, Wright points to a contemporary version of the pre-Christian Saul: Yigal Amir, the zealous Torah-loyal Jew who assassinated Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin for exchanging Israel’s land for peace. Wright writes:
"Jews like Saul of Tarsus were not interested in an abstract, ahistorical system of salvation... They were interested in the salvation which, they believed, the one true God had promised to his people Israel." (pp. 32, 33)
Wright maintains that as a Christian, Paul continued to challenge paganism by taking the moral high ground of the creational monotheist. The doctrine of justification was not what Paul preached to the Gentiles as the main thrust of his gospel message; it was rather “the thing his converts most needed to know in order to be assured that they really were part of God’s people” after they had responded to the gospel message.
Even while taking the gospel to the Gentiles, however, Paul continued to criticize Judaism “from within” even as he had as a zealous Pharisee. But whereas his mission before was to root out those with lax attitudes toward the Torah, now his mission was to demonstrate that God’s covenant faithfulness (righteousness) has already been revealed in Jesus Christ.
At this point Wright carefully documents Paul’s use of the controversial phrase “God’s righteousness” and draws out the implications of his meaning against the background of a Jewish concept of justification. The righteousness of God and the righteousness of the party who is “justified” cannot be confused because the term bears different connotations for the judge than for the plaintiff or defendant. The judge is “righteous” if his or her judgment is fair and impartial; the plaintiff or defendant is “righteous” if the judge rules in his or her favor. Hence:
"If we use the language of the law court, it makes no sense whatsoever to say that the judge imputes, imparts, bequeaths, conveys or otherwise transfers his righteousness to either the plaintiff or the defendant. Righteousness is not an object, a substance or a gas which can be passed across the courtroom. For the judge to be righteous does not mean that the court has found in his favor. For the plaintiff or defendant to be righteous does not mean that he or she has tried the case properly or impartially. To imagine the defendant somehow receiving the judge’s righteousness is simply a category mistake. That is not how the language works." (p. 98)
However, Wright makes the important observation that even with the forensic metaphor, Paul’s theology is not so much about the courtroom as it is about God’s love.
Righteousness is not an impersonal, abstract standard, a measuring-stick or a balancing scale. That was, and still is, a Greek view. Righteousness, Biblically speaking, grows out of covenant relationship. We forgive because we have been forgiven (Matt. 18:21-35); “we love" because God “first loved us” (1 John 4:19). Love is the fulfillment of the law (Rom. 13:8, 10, Gal 5:14, Jam. 2:8). Paul even looked forward to a day when “we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ; that every one may receive the things done in his body,
according to that he hath done, whether it be good or bad” (2 Cor. 5:10), and he acknowledged that his clear conscience did not necessarily ensure this verdict (1 Cor. 4:4), but he was confident nevertheless. Paul did in fact testify of his clear conscience: “For our rejoicing is this, the testimony of our conscience, that in simplicity and godly sincerity, not with fleshly wisdom, but by the grace of God, we have had our conversation [i.e.,
behavior] in the world, and more abundantly to you-ward” (2 Cor. 1:12). He was aware that he had not yet “attained” (Phil. 3:12-14), that he still struggled with the flesh, yet he was confident of the value of his performance (1 Cor. 9:27). These are hardly the convictions of someone who intends to rest entirely on the merits of an alien righteousness imputed to his or her account.
Wright went on to flesh out the doctrine of justification in Galatians, Philippians, and Romans. The “works of the law” are not proto-Pelagian efforts to earn salvation, but rather “sabbath [keeping], food-laws, circumcision” (p. 132). Considering the controversy in Galatia, Wright writes:
"Despite a long tradition to the contrary, the problem Paul addresses in Galatians is not the question of how precisely someone becomes a Christian, or attains to a relationship with God….The problem he addresses is: should his ex-pagan converts be circumcised or not? Now this question is by no means obviously to do with the questions faced by Augustine and Pelagius, or by Luther and Erasmus. On anyone’s reading, but especially within its first-century context, it has to do quite obviously with the question of how you
define the people of God: are they to be defined by the badges of Jewish race, or in some other way? Circumcision is not a ‘moral’ issue; it does not have to do with moral effort, or earning salvation by good deeds. Nor can we simply treat it as a religious ritual, then designate all religious ritual as crypto-Pelagian good works, and so smuggle Pelagius into Galatia as the arch-opponent after all. First-century thought, both Jewish and Christian, simply doesn’t work like that…. [T]he polemic against the Torah in Galatians simply will not work if we ‘translate’ it into polemic either against straightforward self-help moralism or against the more subtle snare of ‘legalism’, as some have suggested. The passages about the law only work — and by ‘work’ I mean they will only make full sense in their contexts, which is what counts in the last analysis — when we take them as references to the Jewish law, the Torah, seen as the national charter of the Jewish race." (pp. 120-122)
The debate about justification, then, “wasn’t so much about soteriology as about ecclesiology; not so much about salvation as about the church.” (p. 119)
To summarize the theology of Paul in his epistles, the apostle mainly spent time arguing to those whom he were sending letters that salvation in Christ was available to all men without distinction. Jews and Gentiles alike may accept the free gift; it was not limited to any one group. Paul was vehement about this, especially in his letter to the Romans. As such, I will finish this post off by summarizing the letter itself, so as to provide Biblical support for the premises of the NPP and for what the scholars I referenced have thus far argued.
After his introduction in the epistle to an already believing and mostly Gentile audience (who would've already been familiar with the gospel proclaimed in verses 3-4), Paul makes a thematic statement in 1:16: “For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ: for it is the power of God unto salvation to every one that believeth; to the Jew first, and also to the Greek.” This statement is just one of many key statements littered throughout the book of Romans that give us proper understanding of the point Paul wished to make to the interlocutors of his day, namely, salvation is available to all, whether Jew or Gentile.
In 1:16 Paul sets out a basic theme of his message in the letter to the Romans. All who believed, whether they be Jew or Gentile, were saved by the power of the gospel. The universal nature of salvation was explicitly stated. The gospel saved all without distinction, whether Jew or Greek; salvation was through the gospel of Jesus Christ. Immediately after this thematic declaration, Paul undertakes to show the universal nature of sin and guilt. In 1:18-32 Paul shows how the Gentile is guilty before God. Despite evidence of God and his attributes, which is readily available to all, they have failed to honor YHVH as God and have exchanged His glory for idolatrous worship and self-promotion. As a consequence, God handed them over in judgment (1:18-32). Paul moves to denunciation of those who would judge others while themselves being guilty of the very same offenses (2:1-5) and argues that all will be judged according to their deeds (2:6). This judgment applies to all, namely, Jew and Greek (2:9-10). This section serves as somewhat of a transition in Paul’s argument. He has highlighted the guilt of the Gentiles (1:18
ff) and will shortly outline the guilt of the Jew (2:17-24). The universal statement of 2:1-11 sets the stage for Paul’s rebuke of Jewish presumption. It was not possession of the Law which delivered; it was faithful obedience. It is better to have no Law and yet to obey the essence of the Law (2:12-16) than to have the Law and not obey (2:17-3:4). Paul then defends the justice of God’s judgment (3:5-8), which leads to the conclusion that all (Jew and Gentile) are guilty before God (3:9).
Paul argues that it was a mistaken notion to think that salvation was the prerogative of the Jew only. This presumption is wrong for two reasons. First, it leads to the mistaken assumption that
only Jews were eligible for this vindication (Paul deals with this misunderstanding in chapter 4 where he demonstrates that Abraham was justified by faith independently of the Law and is therefore the father of all who believe, Jew and Gentile alike). Second, it leads to the equally mistaken conclusion that
all who were Jews are guaranteed of vindication. Paul demonstrates how this perspective, which would call God’s integrity into question since Paul was assuming many Jews would not experience this vindication, was misguided. He did this by demonstrating that it was never the case that
all physical descendants of Israel (Jacob) were likewise recipients of the promise. In the past (9:6-33) as in the present (at that time; 11:1-10), only a remnant was preserved and only a remnant would experience vindication. Paul also argued that the unbelief of national Israel (the non-remnant) had the purpose of extending the compass of salvation. The unbelief of one group made the universal scope of the gospel possible. This universalism was itself intended to bring about the vindication of the unbelieving group (11:11-16). As a result of faith, all (Jew and Gentile) could be branches of the olive tree (11:17-24). Since faith in Christ was necessary to remain grafted into the tree, no one could boast of his position. All, Jew and Gentile alike, were dependent upon the mercy and grace of God. As a result of God’s mysterious plan, He would bring about the vindication of His people (11:25-27). [Note: It is this author's belief that this vindication occurred around 66-70 AD, with the Parousia of Christ's Church; this author is Full-Preterist in their Eschatology.]
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2024.05.21 11:13 The_Way358 Essential Teachings: The Good News That God Reigns
The Scriptures seem to imply that the kingdom of God isn't exactly synonymous with what is called "the Church." The Church was a temporary eschatological community of believers that existed on earth in preparation of a kingdom where God Himself would reign, and said community had Christ reign over them in the meantime. The head of the Church was Christ, with the Father serving as
his head (1 Cor. 11:3). The Scriptures teach that, when all Christ's enemies were to be made his footstool, he was to give back all authority to the Father (Psa. 110:1, 1 Cor. 15:22-28), and it is this page's belief that this happened in
70 AD.
The following quotation is from the above hyperlink:
As for the "1000 years" mentioned in Revelation, they are apocalyptic metaphor for the 40 years Christ "reigned" (triumphed) over his enemies both human and spirit, with the final triumph being the judgement of apostate Jerusalem. The "1000 years" began with his ascension, and ended with this judgement.
Thus, the community to replace the Church on earth was to be the kingdom of God. But, what even
is the kingdom of God, and why did God have to reclaim authority of His own creation in the first place?
To be as succinct as possible: man sinned, and so the great level of authority God initially granted us ourselves over the creation was stripped. As a result, the human condition has suffered and it must be redeemed for God to allow us to reign with Him in the way that He originally intended for us. God has always been sovereign, of course, but He seeks the good of man to make us stewards over His world with Him, as that was His original plan and this was His original view of what a kingdom of His truly looks like: a kingdom characterized by man's love for Him and love for others.
A Biblical understanding of Adam's sin, contrary to popular thought, isn't that we are guilty of what he did personally. We simply inherit his fallen nature and a fallen world as a result of his sin, the same way a baby could leave the womb already addicted to certain substances because the mother abused said substances while pregnant. It's not the baby's fault for its condition, it was the parent's. But the baby is born with this condition and enters the world like this nonetheless.
The implication of this is that we are all only guilty of our
own sins, and whether or not we ever seek to treat (or possibly cure) our condition in the first place is on us. We were dealt a bad hand due to Adam, sure, but God doesn't hold us responsible for what our forefather did. God only holds us responsible for what
we do, and whether or not we seek to be liberated from the dark forces which keep us in bondage to our sinful condition (Gen. 4:6-7, Deut. 24:16, Jer. 31:30, Ezek. 18, Matt. 9:9-13).
The whole Old Testament is essentially a record of God's people constantly breaking their covenant(s) with Him. There are individuals mentioned throughout that were, of course, commended by God and the Biblical authors for their righteousness in honestly pursuing to remain faithful to their covenant with Him. But even the best of these people often faltered and, in fact, did rather heinous things in their lives at one point or another. One of the greatest examples of this is king David, who was literally called by the Scriptures "a man after God's own heart" (1 Sam. 13:14, Acts 13:22). Yet, this same man at one point committed adultery and then murdered the man he stole the wife of to try and cover it up. This was a heinous thing, and David repented of what he did with genuine sorrow and guilt toward God. God ultimately forgave him, but not without a heavy hand of chastisement and earthly consequences for his actions.
All throughout the Old Testament, you see various men of God who were deemed righteous, but these same men were usually shown to have some major flaw that prevented them from living a life that could be characterized as
consistent obedience to the commandments to love God and love others as themselves. There is something deeply
wrong with man's heart, according to the Bible. Something so wrong, in fact, that a whole prophecy had to be given that promised to address the issue of man's seeming incapability to accomplish fulfilling the commandment to love
consistently on their own without some sort of divine help from above:
"A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart of flesh."-Ezekiel 36:26
Naturalistic philosophies see the physical world as all that exists. Humans beings are the result of mindless, chance causes and processes. Humans are essentially animals – highly evolved, but no different in significance than any other living thing. Thus naturalistic views demote humans. But this view leaves a lot unexplained. Why do humans practice altruism, benevolence, or acts of heroism? What explains acts of incredible goodness? Sure, naturalistic arguments have been made that true altruism doesn't exist, and that "unconditional love" is really just an illusion that's been disguised very well by our survival instincts that we've developed over a long period of time at certain stages of our evolutionary process. However, many people have found such arguments to be unpersuasive and naive when compared to their actual experience of the world as they mature in their lives and have what they know to be truly meaningful experiences that can't simply be reduced in the way that the naturalist wishes them to be. This realization was ultimately why I transitioned from hard atheism to agnostic spiritualism at one point or another.
On the other extreme of these things, transcendental worldviews and philosophies say that the
physical world is illusory. Only the spiritual world is ultimately real. Humans are an expression of the divine spirit that is the essence of all things. If naturalistic views demote humans to the level of animals, transcendental views promote human beings. God is not “out there” somewhere; we are God. God is all, thus God is us. But this view doesn’t explain real evil. Why are people selfish? Why do they hurt others? What accounts for personal acts of evil like rape or terrorism? If we are all truly "God," then why would we ever do such things to what is ultimately "ourself"? And why can't a person who practices the belief that we are all actually "God" be only loving? There are so many people who adopt this view of reality who are constantly, day by day, finding that they struggle to be as truly loving as they wish to be because they will still sometimes find themselves thinking and doing rather evil and selfish things. I can speak from experience here, remembering throwing myself into the New Age movement when I was desperately seeking what I did not know at the time was forgiveness for and redemption from my sins because of who I was as a person up until that point. I was seeking the mythic "ego death" that promised me that I could truly be loving and find the forgiveness and redemption I was searching for, because I thought that if only I
truly realized I was "God" all along, I could then accomplish these things all at once and simultaneously. I eventually found even this philosophy unsatisfactory when I came to the aforementioned conclusions concerning our great capacity for evil, and also realized that forgiveness can only exist if there are two parties: forgiver and forgiv
ee. Such a thing is impossible if there is only really one being at play at the bottom of reality, and I knew deep down that forgiving oneself (at least, on its own) will never satisfy one's pursuit for redemption that we all inherently take part in whenever pursuing to mend even our own relationships with each other as humans. Further, love would be an illusion in this philosophy too, being that there is only really one party behind and in all of existence if "everything is God." Such an idea would make true altruism a farce, as well. There would be no such thing as real sacrifice for another, because there is no "another."
The French mathematician and Christian philosopher Blaise Pascal said, “Man’s greatness and wretchedness are so evident that the true religion must necessarily teach both.” Any philosophy that cannot fully account for human greatness and human depravity at the same time should be abandoned because it misses something obvious about the human condition. The religion of the Bible has a valid explanation for human greatness: people are made in God’s image. Thus we have dignity, value, and capacity for good. The Bible also explains human evil: the image of God has been defaced by sin. Our great capacity gets used for the wrong purposes. Our creativity is placed in the service of evil and our best intentions twisted for selfish gain. Something has gone terribly wrong. While other worldviews unduly demote or promote humanity, the Bible gets the tension just right.
Thus, human nature is puzzling and conflicting. Other worldviews—both secular and religious—struggle to account for this enigma, and don't offer satisfying solutions to the problem itself. The Bible, however, explains what happened when it tells us that man rebelled against God in the paradise that was prepared for him called "the Garden of Eden." We fell into temptation and estranged ourselves from God by tarnishing the image we were created in, and now are born with a natural proclivity to do evil, despite our best efforts to do good (that is, to do good
consistently).
And so, the Bible promised a solution in the prophet Ezekiel that God will literally change our natural human condition, if we simply choose to humble ourselves before Him in faith to allow for such a change. While as unbelievers our inner disposition towards God is often rebellious, we at least still have the capacity to choose to do the righteous thing in seeking God that He may change us and forgive us if we so let Him. This is one reason why Jesus, (the one who made the fulfillment of Ezekiel's prophecy even possible by his coming, sacrifice, ressurection, and outpouring of the Spirit upon his ascension), said that only faith the size of a mustard seed was required for something so miraculous as moving a mountian to happen, because so little is required from us to allow God to change us into the kind of person He's always wanted us to be, and yet changing the condition of our own heart can be compared to literally moving a mountain if we were to try and do so on our own strength alone. The mustard seed was the smallest of seeds, and yet if one simply planted it and nurtured it, it could become a bush so large that it was comparable to a tree with branches that stretched to the heavens for the very birds of the air to rest on.
It was when I came to these realizations that I prayed to God for the first time again, having been years since I did so, going so far back as to when I was a little child even. I prayed in the dead of night in my room, and asked God to show me the truth and to reveal Himself to me if indeed these things were true, and in an instant I felt His very presence in my room, and my heart was changed. To describe such an experience would be like trying to describe the taste of something to the man born without tastebuds, the color of something to the man born blind, or the sound of something to the man born deaf; there are no words, and it is only something you can know by experiencing it for yourself. Suddenly and all at once, I knew right then and there that Jesus really was who he said he was, that the one true God is the God of the Bible, and that I have been forgiven. As the time of this post, it's been 5 years since then, I'm 23 now, and I'm still walking with God.
My prayer for anyone reading this that may not know God for themselves yet is that one day, you will too.
Back to the topic at hand.
When Adam sinned, we fell under the tyranny of death, corruption, evil heavenly powers, and sin itself. When Jesus came, Jesus was the new and exalted human, the new Adam, through whom humanity could now realize their original destiny that was laid out for them in the Garden of Eden. Because Jesus, being a man, obeyed unto death, he has defeated the powers which held us so long under bondage; we are now promised liberation so long as we simply place our faith in his sacrifice to wash us of our sins and receive the Spirit of God that is also promised to all who exercise this faith.
We often think of ‘the gospel’ as the part that brings the forgiveness of sins (and of course, that is part of the idea), but ‘gospel’ is the announcement that everything has changed in the coming of Jesus and it leads us to a new kind of living.
The gospel Jesus preached and the gospel the apostle Paul preached were different, in that Jesus preached of a kingdom where God reigns directly and with all His faithful subjects as participants in that reign. The gospel Paul preached was about the exaltation and reign of
Christ, and because Christ reigned, the consummation of the kingdom of God with earth could now finally take place (Col. 1:12-13). This consummation was put on hold during Christ's "millennial" reign, which transpired between his ascension and his return. However, the consummation has come to full fruition since that return.
We will be arguing for some of these claims by pointing out how central the kingdom of God actually was to Jesus' earthly ministry and message, and demonstrate what Jesus taught about how it actually looks like.
The term 'kingdom' appears 53 times in 42 places in Matthew, 17 times in 13 places in Mark, and 41 times in 29 places in Luke. When the 'kingdom' is qualified, Luke always refers to the 'kingdom of God' (32 times) and Mark follows this pattern (14 times). Matthew, on the other hand, prefers the term "kingdom of heaven" (31 times), using the phrase to refer to the same idea "kingdom of God" only four times: 12:28, 19:24, 21:31, 43.
The Gospel of Luke records an event where Jesus responds to the population that lived near Simon Peter's house who believed in him after he had done his miraculous work there, but saw that he was leaving them:
"And when it was day, he departed and went into a desert place: and the people sought him, and came unto him, and stayed him, that he should not depart from them. And he said unto them, I must preach the kingdom of God to other cities also: for therefore [i.e., for this pupose] am I sent." (vss. 42-43)
The Greek word
euangelion is often translated as the word “gospel.” In the Bible, this word is always used whenever it concerns the announcement of the reign of a new king. And in the New Testament, the Gospels themselves use this word or the phrase "good news" to summarize all of Jesus’ teachings. They say he went about “preaching the gospel [good news] of the kingdom [of God]” (Matt. 4:23).
There’s this beautiful poem in the Old Testament, and it’s in chapter 52 of the Book of Isaiah. The city of Jerusalem had just been destroyed by Babylon, a great kingdom in the North. Many of the inhabitants of the city have been sent away into exile, but a few remained in the city, and they’re left wondering, "What happened? Has our God abandoned us?" This was because Jerusalem was supposed to be the city where God would reign over the world to bring peace and blessing to everyone.
Now, Isaiah had been saying that Jerusalem’s destruction was a mess of Israel’s own making. They had turned away from their God, become corrupt, and so their city and their temple were destroyed. Everything seemed lost. But the poem goes on. There is a watchman on the city walls, and far out on the hills we see a messenger. He’s running towards the city. He’s running and he’s shouting, “Good news!” And Isaiah says, “How beautiful are the feet of him that bringeth good tidings [news]” (vs. 7a). The feet are beautiful because they’re carrying a beautiful message. And what’s the message? That despite Jerusalem’s destruction, Israel’s God still reigns as king, and that God's presence is going to one day return with His city, take up His throne, and bring peace. And the watchmen sing for joy because of the good news that their God still reigns (vs. 10).
Jesus saw himself as the messenger bringing the news that God reigns. Jesus also claimed to be the Son of man. This was Jesus' favorite self-designation, being used some 80 times in the Gospels. Notice, not just
a son of man, but
the Son of Man. Jesus was directing our attention to a vision described by the prophet Daniel:
"I saw in the night visions, and, behold, one like the Son of man came with the clouds of heaven, and came to the Ancient of days, and they brought him near before him. And there was given him dominion, and glory, and a kingdom, that all people, nations, and languages, should serve him:"-Daniel 7:13-14a
At Jesus' trial, the Jewish high priest accused Jesus: "Art thou the Messiah, the Son of the Blessed [God]?" His answer left no room for doubt. "I am: and ye shall see the Son of man sitting on the right hand of power, and coming in the clouds of heaven." (Mark 14:61-62). Because Jesus' was rejected and killed for threatening the power the religious authorities had over the people, the consummation of God's kingdom with earth had been put on hold until all of Christ's enemies would be put under his feet after his ressurection and ascension.
But again, what
is the kingdom of God? What does it look like
exactly?
Well, the way that Jesus described God’s reign surprised everybody. I mean, think about it. A powerful, successful kingdom needs to be strong, able to impose its will, and able to defeat its enemies in physical combat. But Jesus said the greatest person in God’s kingdom was the weakest, the one who loves and who serves the poor (Matt. 23:11-12). He said you live under God’s reign when you respond to evil by loving your enemies, and forgiving them, and seeking peace (Matt. 5). To us, this is an upside-down kingdom. But to God, it's right-side up. This was what God had originally planned for us: a kingdom where
God reigns in our hearts. "Jesus answered and said unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God."-John 3:3
Jesus was being quite literal here. You can’t
see the kingdom until you’re born again and have the life of that kingdom. When you’re born again, you start 'seeing' differently. You see what others don’t see, you hear what others don’t hear, you know what others don’t know. And yet you may be physically in the same earthly location as they.
The kingdom of God is the totality of God’s influence that covers the world and heaven. It’s everywhere, but its
manifestation isn’t everywhere. It manifests on earth wherever there are those who are born again and live as if God reigns in their hearts.
Before Jesus, John the Baptist announced to all people, “The kingdom of heaven is at hand!” (Matt. 3:1-2), as he saw a soon coming kingdom of God that would be ushered in by the Messiah. Notice that John the Baptist didn’t say that something “like” the kingdom would come and he didn’t say that the real kingdom might be thousands of years away. He said over and over that THE kingdom was at hand! Do you believe him? Did God inspire him to give a clear and accurate message or a mistaken one? If we dare to believe him, things might become surprisingly clear, simple and exceedingly optimistic.
"Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven."-Matthew 6:10
Jesus taught his followers of his generation to pray that God's kingdom come and that His will be done
in earth, as it is in heaven. Why pray for something that will just inevitably come by force,
unless it was actually through our willing participation? That is, unless God's will is carried out through us "in earth, as it is in heaven"?
"Now after that John was put in prison, Jesus came into Galilee, preaching the gospel of the kingdom of God, And saying, The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand: repent ye, and believe the gospel."-Mark 1:14-15
It's very telling that these are the very first words the Gospel of Mark chooses to record Jesus as saying.
The kingdom is NOT something to wait for. Jesus says the kingdom is NOT something visible, and it is NOT something in the sky. The Kingdom Jesus taught is a spiritual reality that comes into the world
through us. Considering that Jesus even said the kingdom was in and among the Pharisees in Luke 17, which seems almost offensive to consider, perhaps it is like a spiritual seed that has been planted inside each of us, and that activating faith in God makes it grow.
"Then said he, Unto what is the kingdom of God like? and whereunto shall I resemble it? It is like a grain of mustard seed, which a man took, and cast into his garden; and it grew, and waxed a great tree; and the fowls of the air lodged in the branches of it."-Luke 13:18-19
Jesus talked about the kingdom as if it would be a
present reality, yet one that was
growing in the world like a
seed grows into a tree.
"And again he said, Whereunto shall I liken the kingdom of God? It is like leaven, which a woman took and hid in three measures of meal, till the whole was leavened."-Luke 13:20-21
To Jesus, the kingdom was something
growing in us like yeast through dough, increasing in effectiveness.
"For the kingdom of God is not meat and drink; but righteousness, and peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost."-Romans 14:17
"For the kingdom of God is not in word, but in power."-1 Corinthians 4:20
Paul says the kingdom isn’t something you taste or touch like physical food. It’s not even saying the right words. But rather the kingdom comes in the realities of
righteousness, peace, joy and
power that flavor our lives when we live empowered by the Spirit of God and God's Spirit in us.
Since Jesus the Messiah returned only 40 years after his earthly ministry, putting all enemies under his feet, the complete consummation of earth with the kingdom of heaven has finally taken place.
The kingdom of God has come, and it continues to come through us as believers. It makes progress like light shining into the world and dispelling the darkness.
"Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid. Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven."-Matthew 5:14-16
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2024.05.21 10:46 AdmiralStone96230-A MURDER DRONES: Fall of Earth: -Chapter XIII: Handed the Keys to Victory- (Pt. 1)
Wade's visor beeped to life as his alarm system went off, the murder drone's clock showing the time, "8:00 AM", changing to his green-yellow eyes as he woke up. Tina's visor activated as well, the drone girl's own alarm activating she awakened from slumber with Wade.
Stifling a yawn, Wade looked to Tina as he rubbed her back, easing her as she rose upright. "Good morning, sweetie."
"Morning, Wade." Tina replied quietly as she looked to Wade, the two drones smiling warmly as they took in each other's presence. Noticing they were both almost completely bare of clothing, the two drones blushed as Wade began to move off the bed.
"Well, I should get something on." The former worker drone stated as they touched down on the floor, Tina grabbing her green shirt from the counter as she tried to get dressed as well.
"So should I." Tina said back as she put the shirt on, memories of their recent night together still fluent in her mind as she slowly walked over to the kitchen.
The last hours of the past night had been calm for the most part, Wade and his friends detailing their tragic capture, the loss of his brother Ron, the rescue of the drones, and finally, Tina and Wade's miraculous escape from the factory before returning to the base. After the chatter in the bar, the group split off to go their separate ways for the time being, Jasmine going with Wade and Tina to help them into her place before leaving them to watch it while she went to get some food for the next day. During their quiet stay in the apartment, Wade and Tina made small talk over what to do in the future before having what humans would call a... very pleasant night together.
And now, with the new day approaching, the drone couple had to get ready for whatever came ahead. Walking over to his clothes on one of the vacant chairs in the living room, Wade picked up his shirt, slapping it on him before glancing to Tina, who merely wore her copper brown pants and green shirt from yesterday. Smiling at his girlfriend, Wade spoke to her as he turned back around to continue redressing himself. "Seems Jasmine went out somewhere this morning. I don't see her anywhere."
Tina listened to Wade as she inspected the counter, noticing a small sticky note lying on it as she took hold of it. Tina could tell it was left by Jasmine, given the handwriting. The note said, "Morning you two! Went to get some food I forgot to pick up, I should be back shortly after you wake up. - Jasmine"
The pilot drone smiled as she read her sister's note, then turning to the living room to speak to Wade. "She went to get some breakfast, we should expect her to come back any minute now." Opening the fridge, Tina grabbed two cool cans of oil, one for herself and another for Wade. Setting the cans down on the counter, Tina closed the fridge before taking hold of the cans again, taking them with her to the living room where a fully dressed Wade now resided at.
As Tina took a seat next to Wade on the couch, the disassembly drone examined his built-in smartcomm, trying to add all the still active contacts he remembered off the top of his circuits as he spoke to Tina. "It's gonna be hard, being my own person without Ron." Chuckling, Wade smirked at Tina, finding himself unsure at his own words. "Or maybe I'm just overreacting."
Tina chortled at Wade's inconfidence as she tried to bring him some, handing him one of the oil beverages as she spoke. "I think you'll do fine, honey. I've run into some disrespectful humans in my life too."
Wade nodded in understanding as he took a sip of the oil, the sound of the front door opening catching the drones' attention as Jasmine walked in. Carrying a paper bag full of food items, the human pilot spoke aloud. "Morning, you two! Just had to finish an errand I screwed up last night."
"Oh, it's not a problem for us, Jass." Wade replied as he took a sip of his oil, Tina looking over to the kitchen wall as she listened to her sister.
"How was your night? You lovers passed out on me when I came in, so I just rested on the couch." The lover drones gave looks of apologetic concern as Jasmine walked back into the living room, the woman noticing Wade and Tina's faces as she continued speaking. "It's nothing, though. I slept well."
"I hope so, we didn't mean to take up the whole bed." Tina responded as she gave a blush of embarrassment, Wade nodding in agreement as Jasmine replied back.
"I did, really. Besides, you two deserved the bed after all you put up with yesterday. Gotta have some place to blow some steam."
Wade and Tina smiled at Jasmine's comment, then blushed as Wade questioned about her phrasing. "Wait, you mean that as a euphemism or...?"
A knock at the door shut up the discussion, Wade standing up as he offered to handle the visitors. "I'll get the door." Tina nodded as he walked over to the apartment entrance, checking the small peephole before opening the door. Looking down, he saw two beings: a human and drone soldier whom he assumed were from the Coalition given their specific body gear.
While he took notice of the militia duo, the drone soldier spoke up to him. "Good morning, we're looking for a..." He lifted up what appeared to be an ID card, Wade glancing at the object as he heard the drone continue his question. "...Wade Carter? We heard he resided here since last night." Looking to Wade again, the drone stopped himself upon finishing his sentence, then picking himself up as he spoke further. "Come to think of it, you look like him."
Wade smiled warmly as he spoke to the two guests. "That's right. You need something?"
"Eh, more like the other way around, actually." The drone soldier replied as he handed Wade the ID, the former worker drone taking it in his hands as he glanced over it. The ID showed him from when he was still a worker drone, but was thankfully untarnished from the factory as Wade held it tightly. Before he could speak, the human soldier handed him a pouch carrying what Wade presumed were a few more of his personal belongings. The drone soldier spoke once more as Wade took the pouch. "We found these while scavenging the storage bays at the factory, we've been heading around delivering them back to those they belong to."
Wade smiled brightly before finally speaking in a grateful tone. "Thanks, Sirs. If there's anything I can do to help, just let me know."
The two soldiers nodded as the human one replied. "Just doing our job, Mr. Carter. Have a pleasant morning." With that, the troopers departed the apartment complex, leaving Wade to himself as he shut the door.
Heading back inside, Tina and Jasmine looked to Wade as the former spoke to him. "Who was that?"
"Just some boys from the Coalition, and just like Nathan said, they finally found my ID!" Wade answered before showing the card off, Tina grinned happily as she saw it, Jasmine giving a simple smile as he spoke further. "Feels good to have it back, I think that was what was keeping me down a little yesterday."
"Well, at least you won't have to worry about that anymore." Tina replied as Wade put the card in his pocket, taking his seat again before setting the pouch at his legs. Taking notice of the pouch, Tina asked, "What's in that? Battery candy?"
Wade shook his head as he began pulling out the items inside the bag, speaking to Tina as he examined them. "Oh, no, looks like some more of my belongings." Once he was done, Wade put the pouch on the couch's cup holder, on the space behind the drink holders themselves. The items were other various cards and papers with various personal information of Wades written on them, along with Wade's wallet. Wade found it almost comical that the items were all separated from each other, rather than being inside the wallet after getting cleared out.
Tina seemed to agree with Wade's thoughts as he began reinserting the cards into his wallet. "Well, that's silly. They just put everything in that little pouch instead of putting it all back in that thing."
Wade chuckled as he put his ID into the frontal window pocket of the wallet. "Yeah, guess they had to clear every little part of it before sending it off." As he finished restocking his wallet, Wade glanced to the pouch before continuing. "Besides, that IS a nice pouch."
"It sure is." Tina replied before taking another sip of her oil can, Wade putting his wallet away as she spoke again. "On another subject, however, you think we should go see if Nathan's around? Him and Kurtis could come by and have some small talk."
Wade nodded as he started to speak, but stopped as Jasmine spoke first. "Actually, I ran into F earlier while at the market. I heard from her that Nathan was going to be joining her for a date later this afternoon." Glancing to Wade, she finished with, "So he might be already busy for the moment."
Taking his own oil can, Wade shrugged his arm as he replied. "Eh, no problem with that. Don't wanna kill a growing relationship, now do we?"
Tina chuckled lightly as she agreed with her boyfriend. "Indeed, if it were us, they'd probably do the same fo-"
The chatter stopped as another knock sounded at the door, Wade moving to get up again as he glanced to the ladies in confusion. "Another visitor?"
"You think it could be F?" Tina made a wild guess as Wade approached the door, glancing out the peephole in slight surprise before opening the door.
Wade felt as if their talk about the Ceres couple had been a form of summoning as he saw F and Nathan standing at the door, bearing strangely serious expressions as they were greeted by the former worker drone. "F! Nathan! Funny timing, we were just talking about you. Come on in, have a seat."
As the two walked past Wade, F pat him on the shoulder as she spoke to him. "As much as I'd like to visit Wade, I'm afraid we're not gonna be here long, nor are you and the Fowleys."
Wade raised an eyebrow at her reply as he followed Nathan and F, the two simply standing in front of Tina and Jasmine as Wade returned to the living room. "Oh?"
"We're leaving? Should we get dressed and pack our things ASAP?" Tina asked with mild concern as F replied to her.
"Yep, you're on the ball with getting ready, but we're... not exactly leaving." The disassembly drone's words brought a confused face from Tina as Nathan clarified his crush.
"We got a call from J, just as we were heading to one of the diners here." The two drones paused for a moment, glancing to each other as they almost spewed out about their date, but shook it off as Nathan continued with little hesitation. "She told us that Tessa had intercepted some kind of transmission, one that might help us clear up this situation with the company faster than we initially thought."
F gave an affirming nod on Nathan's explanation before adding to it. "Her and J are playing host to a meeting held by the general stationed here, and she wants us to attend." Glancing over Wade and the Fowley sisters, she finished the explanation with, "They especially want you two to come as well, given what you both went through."
Wade and Tina gave blushes of embarrassment at the news, honored by the invitation but also a little uncomfortable with their elevated status as they glanced to each other. After taking a moment to process what they heard, Wade broke the silence. "Well, I did make that promise at the factory, and to J and Tessa earlier... and I intend on acting on said promise." Looking to Tina, his girlfriend gave an agreeing nod as she stood up with him.
"Glad to hear it. We don't have to be in that much of a rush, though, the meeting doesn't start until 10." F stated, Wade and Tina both glancing at the clock to check the time before looking back to their murder drone friend with nods of acknowledgement.
Standing up from her chair, Jasmine stretched as she announced her goals to the room. "Well, in that case, I should hit the shower."
"Right, I'll get myself fixed up too." Tina replied as she looked to Wade, the two sharing warm smiles before heading to the kitchen. Noticing the still unstored items on the counter, Tina spoke aloud. "Jasmine? You mind if Wade and I help store the groceries in the cabinets here?"
"Sure, thanks!" Jasmine answered in a grateful tone as she went off to the bathroom in the back of the apartment, Tina glancing to Wade as she began to take some food out of the bag.
"I'll get the refrigerated stuff." Wade stated simply as he took some items out of the bag, Tina putting her chosen food stuffs into one of the cabinets as they worked to unload the fresh consumables from Jasmine's errand.
submitted by
AdmiralStone96230-A to
MurderDrones [link] [comments]
2024.05.21 10:24 AwwSomeOpossum [ English > Japanese] Dietary Information Cards
| I am going to Japan very soon (like I'm leaving in less than 24 hours.) I've been trying to memorize sentences to explain my dietary needs, but I just happened upon a page that offered printable cards with different phrases in both Japanese and English. There were some about allergies, including "I cannot eat ______," with a blank where you could fill in the food you're allergic to. I wanted to put in grapefruit, as well as expand it from just eating to both eating and drinking. (Technically I'm not allergic to grapefruit, but I'm on medications that are rendered ineffective by grapefruit, so it's still a medical requirement that I avoid it.) This is the translation I tried to put together. I want to make sure it's coherent, and will clearly explain that I cannot have grapefruit in any form. https://preview.redd.it/t8bk1mleoq1d1.png?width=472&format=png&auto=webp&s=ecdcdbfa03c6050fe37cfb416879d9558aab859b Also, I would just like to confirm that this one I also downloaded is accurate, and that both sound polite (when I tried editing the first one in Google Translate, "Thank you for your understanding" came out as "Please note that," which doesn't sound anywhere near as polite.) https://preview.redd.it/xn4vq3nkoq1d1.png?width=431&format=png&auto=webp&s=d6abd0d337cdc0e0e7b03d265fd2eea8fef93608 Any help would be very much appreciated! submitted by AwwSomeOpossum to translator [link] [comments] |
2024.05.21 06:50 StormObserver038877 [For those who can still read anything longer than tiktok short videos] I gotta say the Dothraki people is the most unpleasing nation I have ever seen in the story, they have literally no redeeming values in their culture and way of life. They are simply barbaric brutal rapist bandits...
It can be summarised into 1 single phrase: "Western Europeans' stereotypes about American Indigenous + Orientalism about Central and North Asians"
- Martin said it was based on Nomadic people, but I guess he is only good at Western European history researchers(see all the seven kingdoms based on British kingdoms) because the Dothraki are more of simply bandits instead of nomads.
- +Common European stereotype(actually, it is not even traditional stereotype like the Song of Roland, this is a fairly new thing that came up since Conan the Barbarian) is that nomadic barbarians wear rough leather clothes with dull original leather dark brown colour...+ Well, no, nomads are usually wearing thick fabric robes and pants with bright colours, it is not even a culture thing, any human being will need it for survival, they need the robes because, well, it can be very cold in desert and prairie due to Extreme temperature difference between day and night. Dothraki people will literally freeze to death within half a day if they keep being half naked... This "half naked" stereo type probably comes from American indigenous people who lived in very warm areas.
- +Their weapons...+ The major weapons of horse riding nomads are :Bow, back up Bow, Lance. Instead of what is called Arakh in the story, which was probably the stereotype of nomadic people's sabre but somehow got depicted as an Egyptian Khopesh in the TV drama... If you have a horse, just use bow and polearm, this is not even something about nomads, it is the same for any horse riding warrior, sabre/sword/katana/whatever single hand blade you have should be a last resort side weapon, but it got overrated just like a knight's single hand sword in many artistic stories.
- +Charging at an enemy in a chaotic mob.+ No, formation is very important for nomads, horse crashing into each other is just like car crashes, if nomads don't have nicely aligned formations, they will die by crashing and trampling each other before even joining the fight. The enemy don't even have to kill them because they will die in cahorse accidents anyways.
- +Naked ancient warriors...+ No, just no... Too much Conan the Barbarian... Nomadic people do not wear armour only when they lack armour, if they are rich enough to get the expensive metals required to make armour, they will wear armour. Look, people are not stupid, they will know how to live.
- +Fighting and killing all day, a wedding without 3 deaths is not successful.+ No, god hell no... This is soooooooo stereotypical, it almost becomes funny. Nomadic barbarians don't kill each other for fun, if they keep doing that, they will be 100% extinct within 2 generations of people.
- +Does not care about the economy, they don't even trade much.+ No, trading is the most important economic activity done by nomadic people, if it is not the most important when grazing is more important sometimes, then it is still the second important thing they do beside grazing. Nomadic people who don't develop industries to make metal from ore heavily rely on trading with settled people to get iron. If they don't trade, they will still be living in the stone age.
- +They live by eating horse meat.+ No, they will be out of horses very quickly and die because of starvation, nomads survive by long term economical management of animal by products, usually by drinking milk and eating cheese. Meat is a very rare thing for horse nomads. Horse (and other domestic animals) raising Nomads are shepherds, not hunters. But I guess this horse eating thing also came from the stereotype of American Indigenous people like Comanche or Ute(Utah) nations, they are not really a typical example of horse riding nomads, because they were hunter-gatherers with no horses for most of the times, they never had horse in their ancient traditions, horse went extinct long time ago in North America, they only started to ride horse very quickly when horses was reintroduced to North America by colonists which is a fairly recent early modern thing. In simple words: Those nomads who eat meat do not eat the meat of their own animals, they hunt wild animals because the speed of eating is way faster than the speed of raising more domestic animals by themselves. Those nomads who actually raise horses do not eat them because they are expensive and important tools. You are not going to sell your car just in exchange for 1 week of food right?
- +Robbing, raiding and looting all the day.+ No, raiding is more of a seasonal thing, it is a "emergency back-up option" for nomads(also Viking activity for Skandenavians), they usually do that when they are having an economic crisis going on in their society, their trading business is not going well or their domestic animals accidentally died, so they need to raid for food and supplies.
- +Does not care about family, only follow the strongest.+ No, 180 degree reverse level of NO. Importance of family/clan is a very crucial thing within a nomadic lifestyle.
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gameofthrones [link] [comments]
2024.05.21 04:40 TomFichtnerLeipzig A short list of Mandarin phrases for dealing with public nuisances in Taiwan
We've all been there.
- Sitting in a café, park or the MRT in peace, when suddenly somebody feels it neccessary to blast their latest videos on their phone speaker or watch TV without headphones.
- Walking or cycling in the riverside park in the evening when cyclists point their ultra-bright battery-powered LED headlights straight at you instead of angling it down on the road.
- Having scooters suddenky taking a turn right into your walkway without even signalling.
- Scooters and cars doing「pre-emptive honking」("watch out, I'm coming through") at intersections or in quiet residential areas.
It only takes a few bad apples to sour the experience for everyone else.
These situations can be mitigated by firm politeness and a bit of
moral courage (道德勇氣). Do not hesitate to speak up when others don't.
Here are a few useful Chinese phrases that may help you to navigate such situations. The phrases are vetted by a local Taiwanese to use the correct idioms. They are presented in English, Chinese and Pinyin. If you have any more requests for phrases, please write it in the comments. I will then edit OP to add phrases for your requests.
How to initiate contact and avoid escalation
Any time you approach a member of the public, it is good practice to smile politely and preface your request with:
"Excuse me." If the member of the public does not seem to understand at first, you may want to repeat your request or repeat only the latter half of it. Make sure to keep a friendly face (do not frown) and do not begin to gesticulate.
You may also add:
"OK?" If your request has been granted, you may show your appreciation.
"Thank you." For public use of speakers in personal electronic devices
"Can you please use headphones?" - 可以請你用耳機嗎
- Kěyǐ qǐng nǐ yòng ěrjī ma?
"Please mute your mobile phone." - 請把你的手機調靜音
- Qǐng bǎ nǐ de shǒujī tiáo jìngyīn
The term「mobile phone」(手機 / shǒujī) can be replaced with:
- Tablet: 平板 / píngbǎn
- Laptop: 筆電 / bǐ diàn
If somecone cuts in front of you or pushes you out of a queue
"Please get in line." For bicycle lights that are pointed at your eye level
"Please turn your headlight down." - 請把頭燈往下轉!
- Qǐng bǎ tóudēng wǎng xià zhuǎn
"Could you please turn your headlights down? This will affect the view of oncoming vehicles.." - 請把頭燈往下轉好嗎?這樣會影響對向車的視線
- Qǐng bǎtóu dēng wǎng xià zhuǎn hǎo ma? Zhèyàng huì yǐngxiǎng duì xiàng chē de shìxiàn
For scooters
"Please turn on the turn signal." - 請打方向燈
- Qǐng dǎ fāngxiàng dēng
"Please don't use high beam." - 請不要用遠光燈
- Qǐng bùyào yòng yuǎn guāng dēng
For cars and scooters
"Please do not use the honk except in emergencies." - 請不要在非緊急情況使用喇叭
- Qǐng bùyào zài fēi jǐnjí qíngkuàng shǐyòng lǎbā
Others
This one was suggested in the comments: for pets in stores or restaurants that have a clear "no pets" sign (pet sniffing food or drooling on your feet), when in earshot of a clerk or the owner. Although this one is a little bit passive agressive or indirect, so handle with care.
"I'm sorry to ask, can dogs be brought in?" - 不好意思想問一下,狗狗是可以帶進來的嗎
- Bù hǎoyìsi xiǎng wèn yīxià, gǒu gǒu shì kěyǐ dài jìnlái de ma
This is all I got for the moment. Feel free to let me know any corrections, improvements or more requests.
Thank you for your feedback! Full text of this OP is hereby licenced under public domain, so feel free to copy and share without attribution. submitted by
TomFichtnerLeipzig to
taiwan [link] [comments]
2024.05.21 03:06 HillyjoKokoMo I am at max capacity in giving my time for others needs today
Today was rough, woke up late due to a late soccer game last night that threw everyone's schedule off. Drove one kid to school, took my other to urgent care to get their wrist X-rayed that they injured last night & we weren't sure if it would need to be looked at (no break, just a sprain), stopped at DD's for breakfast for myself, X-ray kid, & other kid I dropped off with no breakfast. Jumped right on a work call from my car, got home transitioned that call to my laptop. Had to end at 11 for a vendor meeting alongside execs at my company from 11-12. Worked on finalizing a communication that's being sent out company wide, my first time working with communications team so it's been a bit bumpy on getting alignment for final version. During lunch break, met with the contractor who is redoing our porch - due to codes some things are not turning out according to original design, one design change is not sitting well with me & the logic the contractor is using as to why it needs to be built this way isn't adding up. Oh during this exact same time the dig safe guy showed up, so I had to also meet with him. Jumped back into work, I had a 1 pm. Thankfully had a minute to myself to regroup on my work day/ tasks. Spent time managing calendar, moving meetings, follow ups on emails. Urgent ask comes in from my leader on a task that is due Wed. He scheduled a call from 2-3:30. I tell him I can take the call until 3 and then transition to phone due to school pickup. We get super indepth into the task and before I know it, it's 3 fucking 30. The time my kids get out of school, NOT the time I need to leave to pick them up. Text them I'm running behind, no biggy on their end. On the way to school I call town offices to speak with building inspector on the issue I'm having. He isn't in & the person I speak to can't help me. I do find out we need to pull an additional permit since we are doing the electrical ourselves (my brother is) Pickup kids, I'm famished, they are famished, we stop by ice cream shop for hot dogs & ice cream. On the ride home, one kid asks if they have tutoring tonight - oh shit! Yes they do. We get home, one kid goes inside, one kid stays outside until it's time to go- we have maybe 15 minutes. I see the snuffle mat I got for the dog has arrived, I open it & try it out with him. Seems like a hit- whooo! My older brother shows up who is doing the electrical work for us on the porch. Before I can leave for tutoring, I walk him through some design changes to check if it's impacting his work. I then leave for tutoring for an hour. I get to sit in my car so I take this small opportunity to just rest. Kiddo is done tutoring, we swing by the grocery store on the way home. Grab lunch items, breakfast items for rest of the week. Get home, my brother is still here. We talk through the design/ code thingy I'm having an issue with - we do some research & find that it may or may not be needed. I decide I'm going to the town offices tomorrow to talk with the inspector in person. He leaves, I turn around and realize I still have 2 important work tasks to address. And dinner to cook. And there are still groceries on the counter that need to be put away & the dishes need to be done & the dog probably needs to go for a good walk. On top of all of this, it's my partners birthday this week, I'm in the thick of wedding planning (2025 bride) and going dress shopping this week with my mom, my kids are graduating from 8th grade in a few weeks - coordinating the after party festivities with my co-parent & his wife and I have had to go off semaglutide these past few weeks due to endoscopy happening & then just not remembering to dose myself again. So add on additional mental preoccupation with food which had been quiet bc of the meds.
I looked around & couldn't find my partner anywhere. He was upstairs with me during lunchtime, offered to make me a meal. Spoke with the contractor but hasn't pushed back on the terrible design idea like I have. Then he popped a gummie and went downstairs to work. I went to his office and said - I'm drowning I need you upstairs now. He comes upstairs and rallies the kids to address kitchen situation/ grociers. I go to the bathroom and cry because I'm overwhelmed. I calm myself and announce I'm taking the dog for a walk and that I'm not cooking dinner. My partner asks if I'm ok - I say I'm not.
I come back, I tell my partner I'm taking a shower. I've reached my capacity for today. He asks if we are ok. I say, you were able to pop a gummy and hide away in your office all day while I was up here multitasking. He asks if I blame him for this. I say- you need to recognize that having single focus is a privilege that I am not given. He needs to recognize the privilege that he has. I walk away, take a shower, and now I'm here. Sitting in my dark room, windows open, listening to the peepers and my dog scratching to be let into my room, my partner cooking in the kitchen, chatting with my kids. I'm drinking the tea he made for me when I got out of the shower.
I just needed to write all of this down because usually my days are way more chill than this. But holy fuck. I'm off to enjoy a gummy, take a can of frosting and some nilla wafers with me down to my partners office to watch Bridgerton alone.
Oh but also the title came to me while I was in the shower. And I feel like this is a phrase I can use to tell folks I'm done without it triggering rage or tears.
submitted by
HillyjoKokoMo to
workingmoms [link] [comments]
2024.05.21 03:01 0x45-nice Having trouble remembering csúnya szavakat?
Here's a catchy song to remember critical phrases like "szétbaszom a fejedet" and "puncipöcögtető" (Gőzöm sincs mit jelent az utóbbi)
submitted by
0x45-nice to
hungarian [link] [comments]
2024.05.21 01:15 notallthings To go along with another users Lowes Foods post
| We don’t do most of this (besides the chicken dance) because it’s demeaning, we’re always understaffed and overworked, and most importantly, hosts and guests hate it. submitted by notallthings to NorthCarolina [link] [comments] |
2024.05.21 00:53 marketingmonkee need help deciphering a toddler speak phrase!!
My son keeps repeating this phrase, a lot of times generally when he's around food.
"gahgoo maykoo"
I cannot figure out for the life of me what he's trying to say. I've asked him if it means thank you, and he says no and just keeps repeating it over and over. It's been weeks. Help me!!
submitted by
marketingmonkee to
toddlers [link] [comments]
http://activeproperty.pl/