Who are the wiggly dancers
Pics and Videos of Fit and Strong Natural Looking Women
2013.08.14 13:25 RespectMyAuthoriteh Pics and Videos of Fit and Strong Natural Looking Women
This is the place for good quality photos and videos of attractive **fit** women, including athletes, fitness models, dancers, figure and physique competitors, etc., who have **natural** breasts.
2022.02.05 22:16 mermaidpaint OhNoConsequences
You know how there are people who are genuinely shocked by the consequences for their words and actions? Even when the consequences are really obvious? Share the stories here!
2011.11.19 07:05 clockworklycanthrope Fantasy Writers
This subreddit is dedicated to those of us who are writing in the fantasy genre.
2024.03.05 15:50 ladyofthegarbage Entirely TMI about our recent cruise on Anthem
TLDR: This was our first cruise with Royal and I must say we were impressed! I was apprehensive after reading many negative comments here and elsewhere about quality of food, service and cleanliness. We experienced none of that. Perhaps it was because I went into it expecting to be underwhelmed but we have no real complaints aside from a few instances of guests shoving into elevators before allowing others out and people being gross in the windjammer. I believe the ship holds 4700 passengers and we were pretty close to full capacity but the layout of the ship made it feel as if there were only a few hundred. The crew was outstanding and truly made our trip. We had a fantastic time.
Here’s my (probably too) detailed review of our experience for those interested..
DINING:
MDR- we had dinner here 3 or 4x. Service was efficient. Never felt trapped or like it was taking too long. Our server took great care of us and accommodated our requests/our late arrival due to my youngest’s nap schedule being all over the place. I was concerned about food temp because I’m someone who really does not enjoy cold food that’s supposed to be warm (my husband doesn’t care either way) but all dishes were the perfect temp. We ordered multiple starters some nights and took extra desserts to go other nights. The lobster was a good size (though I’d have preferred browned butter to what they served it with). The one time we ordered steak it was flavorful, tender and cooked to perfection. The chicken was delicious and not dry at all. Very happy with our meals/experience here.
Windjammer- loved it! Great selection, most foods and textures were great. The tiramisu and coconut cookies will haunt my dreams as some of the most delicious treats I’ve ever had. The fruit was excellent and plentiful, only wished for berries by the second to last day. I do wish they had more veggies available but overall happy. A few instances of soggy items but it’s a buffet, what do you expect? We quickly found our favorite spot to dine and a wonderful crew member named Dinesh who saved our table, made sure we had everything we could ever want as well as entertained and delighted the kids. My 4yo was enamored with him and keeps asking to go visit, despite no longer being on the ship lol. John at washy washy was fabulous. A new costume every day, always smiling, dancing and bringing the best vibes and energy. Only real complaints were the grown ass adults walking around eating and licking their fingers 🤢. Specialty coffee was great- only once was my order not right but they were slammed so I took the loss and shared my husband’s drink. No big deal, we had the beverage package so it’s not like I had to pay for that individual drink.
Solarium Bistro- a little slice of serenity with great and consistent food. The mushrooms, lamb, salmon, ceviche, baklava and charcuterie were our favorite dishes here. We often popped in near closing after dropping off at Adventure Ocean for a quick bite to go and although we never made reservations, they were super accommodating and never made us feel like a bother. Even going so far as to track down our preferred drinks (mojitos 😍) and bring them to us in the Solarium. We brought a charcuterie plate back to the room some nights to enjoy with wine on the balcony- highly recommend. A great dining option when you aren’t up for the bustle of WJ and don’t want to sit through the formality of MDR.
Izumi- absolutely delicious. We did not purchase a specialty dining package but my 13 yo desperately wanted to dine here. On our last evening she and I stopped by to order a few items a la carte but ended up enjoying a multiple course meal with one of the kindest people I’ve ever met. XXXXX served us and treated us like royalty, making my daughter’s whole night. Initially we ordered the baked snow crab and salmon dynamite roll to share, green tea ice cream and mochi ice cream but XXXXX had other plans. He brought out miso soup, seaweed salad, chicken Kara-age, firecracker spring rolls and edamame - all delicious. The dynamite roll was decadent yet light- tons of flavor and layered perfectly so that you taste each element individually before they all come together in a symphony of sapidity. I don’t know if I’ll ever find a roll I love as much as that one. Next came the matcha ice cream- arguably the best flavor to ever exist and the mochi (she chose mango, strawberry and chocolate) also lovely. He charged us only for the dynamite roll and received a huge tip and shoutout in the survey for creating such a memorable and special experience that we will treasure. Trying to please a teenager, well IYKYK, but my daughter had the time of her life and I didn’t have to empty my wallet for it. As a budget-minded person who diligently saved for this vacation, I appreciated his generosity all the more.
Two70- drinks and sandwiches were great! Loved the ability to grab a quick bite before/during a show.
Sorrentos- pretty good. Obviously this isn’t your local mom and pop pizza joint quality but I’d say it was a step above grocery store frozen pizza and that was good enough for me. It was hot, tasty and nearly always available.
Room service- we only utilized this for the continental breakfast a few mornings so we could feed the double stomach demon (4yo- seriously perplexed at how much food he can consume) immediately upon waking and get some much needed coffee before venturing out. Everything was great. I actually kind of miss that dark, slightly bitter coffee.. though I’m glad to have my less acidic cold brew now that I’m home.
Honorable mention to those little packets of butter- for whatever reason they really stood out to us. So good on fresh bread 😍
BARS/DRINKS:
Music Hall and Schooners made the best mojitos and I enjoyed the ambiance. Pool bars were just that. These were the only ones we tended to frequent. Service was prompt at all bars and we never had any issues. We didn’t drink a ton since we had the kids along. Lots of specialty coffees, waterbottles, Red Bulls, virgin drinks and a few cocktails or beers at night. When we did order alcoholic drinks, it was very clearly alcoholic. Not watered down in the slightest.
CASINO:
My husband enjoys gambling. To me, it’s anxiety inducing and I get absolutely nothing from it. He had budgeted about $100 to blow and did well for himself. During his first trip he went solo, put in $20 and walked away with $200. Another night we were wandering the ship and I joined him for a quick stop. We sat down, played $30 and left with $80. Not huge gains but it’s something. I was happy to take the money and run. He got his winners high. Aside from the faint cigarette smoke smell it was a good experience.
SHOWS/ACTIVITIES:
We didn’t do too many scheduled activities and shows but those we did attend were entertaining and enjoyable. The comedian, illusionist and game shows were worth the watch. My 13yo enjoyed the movie nights, silent disco and attended many more shows than we did. She was not into Spectra’s Cabaret and left early but really liked all the game shows. The 80’s party was a huge hit with my 4yo who loves to dance. He was the first one on the floor and had the time of his life. We only stayed for an hour or so since the latter portion is meant for adults and it was quite late. Fellow guests were so kind to include him and gifted him glow sticks, light up accessories and “cool guy” sunglasses. He was amazed to see himself on the big screen and charmed all the ladies with his wiggly eyebrows and finger guns. The family festival was a fun “field day” type event in the seaplex on the last sea day. The captains corner forum was interesting and informative. We had hoped to see Quest but by that last evening we were all exhausted and my 4yo reached his breaking point. Cue a fantastic meltdown and bedtime. We didn’t make any reservations and never had a problem getting a seat. Nice selection of activities that kept us entertained.
iFLY/NORTHSTAR:
My 4yo got as far as the wind tunnel with iFly and got scared. Luckily there was a kind woman inside that comforted him until we could get him out. No complaints with the process, it was straightforward and the instructor was great.
My daughter reserved Northstar and we rushed back from FL port only to be told that her name was not on the list, despite me double checking she had reserved it correctly. She was embarrassed so we just left. I then went to guest services the next morning to explain and ask if she could rebook while we were at Coco Cay and they had no problem setting that up. Typically you can only reserve a free activity once per guest, per sailing. She also got scared and decided she didn’t want to go once we arrived back for the second reservation. 🙃 I tried. Both activities look cool and hopefully we will get a chance to experience them on our next sailing.
ADVENTURE OCEAN/FUEL:
4yo was apprehensive and did not enjoy his first session so he refused to go back until about mid trip. I suspect it was because there were a lot of kids during that session and he was shy and overwhelmed. Once he went back, he made some friends, absolutely loved it and wanted to return every chance he got. We ran into crew and other kids from AO throughout the ship and he was excited to see them. It was cute to see the kids waving and shouting as they spotted each other outside of the club. Open play area was worth a good 15-30 mins of entertainment at his age, really meant for 3 and under imo. We’d stop there after pickup for a bit and he enjoyed the slide and making up games with the baby/toddler toys. I do wish they had a camera feed we could tap into to check in- there were a few times we went to pick him up a bit early concerned he might have had enough (and didn’t want him to hate it again because it was such a nice break for us lol) but he was happy as a clam when we arrived. A camera feed would have helped though I understand the logistics of that may not work privacy-wise.
13yo didn’t want to go to teen club and was mostly a lone wolf until she met a friend the second to last day. She is quite reserved so this didn’t surprise me. Most kids/teens we encountered were respectful and seemingly well behaved. There were a few instances of jerk behavior but nothing major that soured our trip.
SPA:
I chose to book a massage after a particularly stressful port day, my son and husband were napping and they offered me a discount. I am not a “spa person” and rarely if ever take time or spend money to do these kinds of self care activities so it was a treat for me. Massage was great, left feeling so relaxed that I briefly wondered if they’d drugged the massage oil. They even threw in a few complimentary services (some fancy face thing and massage extras like hot stones, exfoliation and aromatherapy) which was nice. Light pressure at the end to purchase the overpriced potions but she immediately stopped when I said I wouldn’t realistically use them at home. It was a little more than I expected to pay since I didn’t realize there would be an extra “service charge” on top of price and gratuity but it was worth the splurge.
POOLS:
We really only utilized the indoor pool. No problem with getting pool chairs and it wasn’t overly crowded- though we tended to go at off peak times so maybe that was part of it. Solarium pools looked very nice and relaxing when we walked through to check them out. We didn’t get a chance to enjoy them but I can see why it’s such a popular spot. Outdoor pools also seemed nice, only one day we noticed it super crowded, the rest of the time we would have had no problem finding a chair and swimming.
STATEROOM/ATTENDANT:
We booked two connecting balcony cabins for the 4 of us mid/aft area. Rooms were clean, spacious enough.. though after having two rooms/bathrooms I wouldn’t ever want to cram us all into one, at least not until 4yo is older and sucks less lol. Especially since we spent a fair amount of time in the room as a home base. Our neighbors to either side were quiet. Heard occasional stomping from above but nothing bothersome. If I had to come up with a negative, it would be that our bed was quite hard. The kids’ room bed was comfortable but in the room we chose it was clearly different mattresses. Our attendant did add a topper which helped a little but I will definitely pay better attention next time we choose which room we stay in because it wasn’t great. Our bed at home is probably too soft so it was an adjustment. Still got decent sleep. Storage was plentiful and impressive. We had more than enough outlets between the two rooms for all of our gadgets. Shower and bathroom are a good size. The included body wash was not great so I stuck with my own toiletries. Balconies were nice and we opened up the divider so we could pass between them and had a better view. *Room adjacent tip- grab a few extra pool towels to bring back for the shower if you’re accustomed to larger towels/bath sheets.
Our attendant, Rhodora, was an absolute gem. She took such wonderful care of us and always had a great attitude. We looked forward to chatting with her every day. She was so sweet and accommodating, made us feel welcome from the very first day and we will truly miss her. She made towel animals which were so cute and would arrange my son’s stuffed animal doing silly things around the room. We brought her a ridiculous amount of chocolate from FL port since she mentioned that was her favorite when I’d asked and left her $100 and a heartfelt note. The kids left her notes and ducks and more chocolate. She worked her ass off, we’d run into her in the hallway and she’d be sweating and smiling ear to ear. A literal ray of sunshine. She truly made our trip extra special so I hope she knows how much we appreciate her. Tip your attendants guys!
PORTS:
Cape Canaveral: Initially planned to stay on the ship but my daughter and I were pining for the beach. Just she and I got off and since my Uber app was glitching, we grabbed a shuttle to Cocoa Beach. $20/pp round trip. Instead of having to wait for the shuttle to fill up, they put us in one of their taxis so we could get going right away which was appreciated. I instacarted chocolate and wine to the pier sign. Somewhat crowded but no problem finding a spot. My daughter found shells, made a friend and swam for hours. I soaked up the glorious sun. Had a great time. Stopped at one of the shops to grab a sand toy for the next port and a couple souvenirs for my daughter and husband. Easy shuttle ride back. Driver was cool and shared some tips for Coco Cay since he’d just been there with his girlfriend a few weeks prior.
Coco Cay: What a day. We all got off around 10 and were greeted by the dancers. Found the shuttle station and headed to south beach. Had a little trouble finding chairs at first but then found some tucked away near the cabanas/private club area. Short walk to the bar and near a hammock in the shade my husband had a glorious nap in. At first, my son became itchy and his skin stung. I’ve heard of sea lice and jellyfish being an issue at other beaches but not sure if those are prevalent in this area. We weren’t sure what the cause was but he had been rolling around in the sand so we removed his rashgard and suit, rinsed it/him and tried again. We told him not to roll around anymore and thankfully this seemed to resolve the issue. Kids loved the water and beach. My daughter never left the water. Complimentary life jackets available for use. Floating mats available to rent for $20. We found tiny hermit crabs to the delight of my husband and son who caught them in a bucket to observe. Snorkeled a bit with our own equipment. Saw a jellyfish and what appeared to be a peacock without tail feathers. Food at the snack shack nearby was pretty good.. we didn’t eat much due to the heat and being busy but what we did eat was your classic snack bar fare. I appreciated the lighter menu items. Drinks were cold and good. Coco loco (?) or whatever it was called was tasty.
Once we’d had enough we headed back to check out the pirate ship water play area. My husband and son hung there then migrated to the Splashaway Bay while my daughter and I checked out the marketplace near Chill Island. We saw some cool chickens strutting around. Prices were so/so but we did purchase a necklace and wooden shark figurine as the kids’ souvenirs ($20 and $15, respectively which I thought was reasonable for “vacation pricing”). I was eyeing the cool wooden swords for my pirate-loving son but between the $50 price and his rambunctious nature I though better of it. Headed back to the ship around 4, exhausted and hungry. Overall a nice stop, though there is far too much to see in one day. We clocked a good 20,000 steps and really only saw 3 areas. Would have loved to have another day to explore but happy with the time we did spend there.
Nassau: Oh boy. We booked the Blackbeard’s Revenge pirate ship excursion through RC. Met at the indicated zone in port just off the ship, filled out waivers and handed in tickets. We then walked about halfway to the marketplace where we diverted to a covered pavilion and waited 5 or so minutes to board. It was fun, lively and entertaining. All the actors really committed to the bit and included the kids in several activities onboard. At one point they slowed the boat and let the kids throw bread off the side to feed the fish. It was much hotter than I expected it to be but there were plenty of shady spots to find refuge. The gift shop/restrooms area was air conditioned and felt amazing after enduring the sun for a while. Though we were a little disappointed the gift shop wasn’t operating and didn’t have anything to purchase. The bar offered drinks and snacks for purchase- we were given two tickets each, good for either rum or virgin punch. The rum punch was strong and cold. The snacks were prepackaged cookies, chips, etc and ranged from $2-$4 from what we could see. At the end of our voyage the pirates dragged out a treasure chest and gave each child Mardi Gras bead necklace “treasures”. Overall fun and memorable experience.
After the pirate excursion, we initially decided to try to venture over to Ardastra Gardens however my husband got super sketched out once we left the sterile port area and got further into town so we quickly returned. Most locals were friendly but there were definitely some shady characters hanging around and fair bit of pushiness from vendors and taxi drivers. I didn’t feel unsafe per se but certainly wary. Probably better off not venturing out with kids out of precaution. My husband wanted nothing to do with it. We purchased some souvenirs in a fairly commercial looking shop just outside of the port then wandered around the port market a bit. Nobody here was pushy and a much different vibe than outside of the gates. I had hoped to look around more but by this time my son was over it and beginning to melt down, my daughter was hangry and overheating and we were coming down off the adrenaline of leaving the port so we bought some kind of limeade drink (delicious) and headed back to ship for a much needed lunch and rest.
EMBARKATION/DISEMBARKING:
Super smooth and painless. We cruised with BC and ID (yeah yeah yeah I know) and it was beyond simple. I had read comments saying it would be a pain and hassle, longer lines, end of the world, but we had no issues. Security flagged our backpack for my husband’s Zyn packets- I suppose they look like little drug bundles in the X-ray. Once we showed them and explained, it was fine. Our boarding time was 10:30-11. We breezed through and only had about an hour delay in boarding because they were fogging/sanitizing due to Noro outbreak on previous sailing. They told us it was because of a cargo ship but we all knew. Kismet seated us next to someone I’d spoken with in the FB sailing group so we chatted and they helped entertain my increasingly impatient 4yo. Glad I brought snacks in my carryon to tide him over during this unexpected wait. We’d had a good breakfast at the hotel that morning but if you have small children, you probably understand.
Leaving was very similar. Departed the ship, made our way to luggage pickup, stopped to show documents and we were on our way. Only hang up was the wait for an Uber. I wasn’t sure what to expect as far as the security process and timing coming back into the US so I didn’t prearrange the ride. It took 20ish mins to be assigned a driver but it wasn’t terrible. Now I know for next time it’s a quick and shockingly simple process.
We were fortunate to have beautiful weather and calm seas for most of our trip, though the last two days were overcast, rainy on and off and quite rocky. It didn’t bother me on the ship but coming home it’s taken me a solid 2 days to find my land legs.
submitted by ladyofthegarbage to royalcaribbean [link] [comments]
Here’s my (probably too) detailed review of our experience for those interested..
DINING:
MDR- we had dinner here 3 or 4x. Service was efficient. Never felt trapped or like it was taking too long. Our server took great care of us and accommodated our requests/our late arrival due to my youngest’s nap schedule being all over the place. I was concerned about food temp because I’m someone who really does not enjoy cold food that’s supposed to be warm (my husband doesn’t care either way) but all dishes were the perfect temp. We ordered multiple starters some nights and took extra desserts to go other nights. The lobster was a good size (though I’d have preferred browned butter to what they served it with). The one time we ordered steak it was flavorful, tender and cooked to perfection. The chicken was delicious and not dry at all. Very happy with our meals/experience here.
Windjammer- loved it! Great selection, most foods and textures were great. The tiramisu and coconut cookies will haunt my dreams as some of the most delicious treats I’ve ever had. The fruit was excellent and plentiful, only wished for berries by the second to last day. I do wish they had more veggies available but overall happy. A few instances of soggy items but it’s a buffet, what do you expect? We quickly found our favorite spot to dine and a wonderful crew member named Dinesh who saved our table, made sure we had everything we could ever want as well as entertained and delighted the kids. My 4yo was enamored with him and keeps asking to go visit, despite no longer being on the ship lol. John at washy washy was fabulous. A new costume every day, always smiling, dancing and bringing the best vibes and energy. Only real complaints were the grown ass adults walking around eating and licking their fingers 🤢. Specialty coffee was great- only once was my order not right but they were slammed so I took the loss and shared my husband’s drink. No big deal, we had the beverage package so it’s not like I had to pay for that individual drink.
Solarium Bistro- a little slice of serenity with great and consistent food. The mushrooms, lamb, salmon, ceviche, baklava and charcuterie were our favorite dishes here. We often popped in near closing after dropping off at Adventure Ocean for a quick bite to go and although we never made reservations, they were super accommodating and never made us feel like a bother. Even going so far as to track down our preferred drinks (mojitos 😍) and bring them to us in the Solarium. We brought a charcuterie plate back to the room some nights to enjoy with wine on the balcony- highly recommend. A great dining option when you aren’t up for the bustle of WJ and don’t want to sit through the formality of MDR.
Izumi- absolutely delicious. We did not purchase a specialty dining package but my 13 yo desperately wanted to dine here. On our last evening she and I stopped by to order a few items a la carte but ended up enjoying a multiple course meal with one of the kindest people I’ve ever met. XXXXX served us and treated us like royalty, making my daughter’s whole night. Initially we ordered the baked snow crab and salmon dynamite roll to share, green tea ice cream and mochi ice cream but XXXXX had other plans. He brought out miso soup, seaweed salad, chicken Kara-age, firecracker spring rolls and edamame - all delicious. The dynamite roll was decadent yet light- tons of flavor and layered perfectly so that you taste each element individually before they all come together in a symphony of sapidity. I don’t know if I’ll ever find a roll I love as much as that one. Next came the matcha ice cream- arguably the best flavor to ever exist and the mochi (she chose mango, strawberry and chocolate) also lovely. He charged us only for the dynamite roll and received a huge tip and shoutout in the survey for creating such a memorable and special experience that we will treasure. Trying to please a teenager, well IYKYK, but my daughter had the time of her life and I didn’t have to empty my wallet for it. As a budget-minded person who diligently saved for this vacation, I appreciated his generosity all the more.
Two70- drinks and sandwiches were great! Loved the ability to grab a quick bite before/during a show.
Sorrentos- pretty good. Obviously this isn’t your local mom and pop pizza joint quality but I’d say it was a step above grocery store frozen pizza and that was good enough for me. It was hot, tasty and nearly always available.
Room service- we only utilized this for the continental breakfast a few mornings so we could feed the double stomach demon (4yo- seriously perplexed at how much food he can consume) immediately upon waking and get some much needed coffee before venturing out. Everything was great. I actually kind of miss that dark, slightly bitter coffee.. though I’m glad to have my less acidic cold brew now that I’m home.
Honorable mention to those little packets of butter- for whatever reason they really stood out to us. So good on fresh bread 😍
BARS/DRINKS:
Music Hall and Schooners made the best mojitos and I enjoyed the ambiance. Pool bars were just that. These were the only ones we tended to frequent. Service was prompt at all bars and we never had any issues. We didn’t drink a ton since we had the kids along. Lots of specialty coffees, waterbottles, Red Bulls, virgin drinks and a few cocktails or beers at night. When we did order alcoholic drinks, it was very clearly alcoholic. Not watered down in the slightest.
CASINO:
My husband enjoys gambling. To me, it’s anxiety inducing and I get absolutely nothing from it. He had budgeted about $100 to blow and did well for himself. During his first trip he went solo, put in $20 and walked away with $200. Another night we were wandering the ship and I joined him for a quick stop. We sat down, played $30 and left with $80. Not huge gains but it’s something. I was happy to take the money and run. He got his winners high. Aside from the faint cigarette smoke smell it was a good experience.
SHOWS/ACTIVITIES:
We didn’t do too many scheduled activities and shows but those we did attend were entertaining and enjoyable. The comedian, illusionist and game shows were worth the watch. My 13yo enjoyed the movie nights, silent disco and attended many more shows than we did. She was not into Spectra’s Cabaret and left early but really liked all the game shows. The 80’s party was a huge hit with my 4yo who loves to dance. He was the first one on the floor and had the time of his life. We only stayed for an hour or so since the latter portion is meant for adults and it was quite late. Fellow guests were so kind to include him and gifted him glow sticks, light up accessories and “cool guy” sunglasses. He was amazed to see himself on the big screen and charmed all the ladies with his wiggly eyebrows and finger guns. The family festival was a fun “field day” type event in the seaplex on the last sea day. The captains corner forum was interesting and informative. We had hoped to see Quest but by that last evening we were all exhausted and my 4yo reached his breaking point. Cue a fantastic meltdown and bedtime. We didn’t make any reservations and never had a problem getting a seat. Nice selection of activities that kept us entertained.
iFLY/NORTHSTAR:
My 4yo got as far as the wind tunnel with iFly and got scared. Luckily there was a kind woman inside that comforted him until we could get him out. No complaints with the process, it was straightforward and the instructor was great.
My daughter reserved Northstar and we rushed back from FL port only to be told that her name was not on the list, despite me double checking she had reserved it correctly. She was embarrassed so we just left. I then went to guest services the next morning to explain and ask if she could rebook while we were at Coco Cay and they had no problem setting that up. Typically you can only reserve a free activity once per guest, per sailing. She also got scared and decided she didn’t want to go once we arrived back for the second reservation. 🙃 I tried. Both activities look cool and hopefully we will get a chance to experience them on our next sailing.
ADVENTURE OCEAN/FUEL:
4yo was apprehensive and did not enjoy his first session so he refused to go back until about mid trip. I suspect it was because there were a lot of kids during that session and he was shy and overwhelmed. Once he went back, he made some friends, absolutely loved it and wanted to return every chance he got. We ran into crew and other kids from AO throughout the ship and he was excited to see them. It was cute to see the kids waving and shouting as they spotted each other outside of the club. Open play area was worth a good 15-30 mins of entertainment at his age, really meant for 3 and under imo. We’d stop there after pickup for a bit and he enjoyed the slide and making up games with the baby/toddler toys. I do wish they had a camera feed we could tap into to check in- there were a few times we went to pick him up a bit early concerned he might have had enough (and didn’t want him to hate it again because it was such a nice break for us lol) but he was happy as a clam when we arrived. A camera feed would have helped though I understand the logistics of that may not work privacy-wise.
13yo didn’t want to go to teen club and was mostly a lone wolf until she met a friend the second to last day. She is quite reserved so this didn’t surprise me. Most kids/teens we encountered were respectful and seemingly well behaved. There were a few instances of jerk behavior but nothing major that soured our trip.
SPA:
I chose to book a massage after a particularly stressful port day, my son and husband were napping and they offered me a discount. I am not a “spa person” and rarely if ever take time or spend money to do these kinds of self care activities so it was a treat for me. Massage was great, left feeling so relaxed that I briefly wondered if they’d drugged the massage oil. They even threw in a few complimentary services (some fancy face thing and massage extras like hot stones, exfoliation and aromatherapy) which was nice. Light pressure at the end to purchase the overpriced potions but she immediately stopped when I said I wouldn’t realistically use them at home. It was a little more than I expected to pay since I didn’t realize there would be an extra “service charge” on top of price and gratuity but it was worth the splurge.
POOLS:
We really only utilized the indoor pool. No problem with getting pool chairs and it wasn’t overly crowded- though we tended to go at off peak times so maybe that was part of it. Solarium pools looked very nice and relaxing when we walked through to check them out. We didn’t get a chance to enjoy them but I can see why it’s such a popular spot. Outdoor pools also seemed nice, only one day we noticed it super crowded, the rest of the time we would have had no problem finding a chair and swimming.
STATEROOM/ATTENDANT:
We booked two connecting balcony cabins for the 4 of us mid/aft area. Rooms were clean, spacious enough.. though after having two rooms/bathrooms I wouldn’t ever want to cram us all into one, at least not until 4yo is older and sucks less lol. Especially since we spent a fair amount of time in the room as a home base. Our neighbors to either side were quiet. Heard occasional stomping from above but nothing bothersome. If I had to come up with a negative, it would be that our bed was quite hard. The kids’ room bed was comfortable but in the room we chose it was clearly different mattresses. Our attendant did add a topper which helped a little but I will definitely pay better attention next time we choose which room we stay in because it wasn’t great. Our bed at home is probably too soft so it was an adjustment. Still got decent sleep. Storage was plentiful and impressive. We had more than enough outlets between the two rooms for all of our gadgets. Shower and bathroom are a good size. The included body wash was not great so I stuck with my own toiletries. Balconies were nice and we opened up the divider so we could pass between them and had a better view. *Room adjacent tip- grab a few extra pool towels to bring back for the shower if you’re accustomed to larger towels/bath sheets.
Our attendant, Rhodora, was an absolute gem. She took such wonderful care of us and always had a great attitude. We looked forward to chatting with her every day. She was so sweet and accommodating, made us feel welcome from the very first day and we will truly miss her. She made towel animals which were so cute and would arrange my son’s stuffed animal doing silly things around the room. We brought her a ridiculous amount of chocolate from FL port since she mentioned that was her favorite when I’d asked and left her $100 and a heartfelt note. The kids left her notes and ducks and more chocolate. She worked her ass off, we’d run into her in the hallway and she’d be sweating and smiling ear to ear. A literal ray of sunshine. She truly made our trip extra special so I hope she knows how much we appreciate her. Tip your attendants guys!
PORTS:
Cape Canaveral: Initially planned to stay on the ship but my daughter and I were pining for the beach. Just she and I got off and since my Uber app was glitching, we grabbed a shuttle to Cocoa Beach. $20/pp round trip. Instead of having to wait for the shuttle to fill up, they put us in one of their taxis so we could get going right away which was appreciated. I instacarted chocolate and wine to the pier sign. Somewhat crowded but no problem finding a spot. My daughter found shells, made a friend and swam for hours. I soaked up the glorious sun. Had a great time. Stopped at one of the shops to grab a sand toy for the next port and a couple souvenirs for my daughter and husband. Easy shuttle ride back. Driver was cool and shared some tips for Coco Cay since he’d just been there with his girlfriend a few weeks prior.
Coco Cay: What a day. We all got off around 10 and were greeted by the dancers. Found the shuttle station and headed to south beach. Had a little trouble finding chairs at first but then found some tucked away near the cabanas/private club area. Short walk to the bar and near a hammock in the shade my husband had a glorious nap in. At first, my son became itchy and his skin stung. I’ve heard of sea lice and jellyfish being an issue at other beaches but not sure if those are prevalent in this area. We weren’t sure what the cause was but he had been rolling around in the sand so we removed his rashgard and suit, rinsed it/him and tried again. We told him not to roll around anymore and thankfully this seemed to resolve the issue. Kids loved the water and beach. My daughter never left the water. Complimentary life jackets available for use. Floating mats available to rent for $20. We found tiny hermit crabs to the delight of my husband and son who caught them in a bucket to observe. Snorkeled a bit with our own equipment. Saw a jellyfish and what appeared to be a peacock without tail feathers. Food at the snack shack nearby was pretty good.. we didn’t eat much due to the heat and being busy but what we did eat was your classic snack bar fare. I appreciated the lighter menu items. Drinks were cold and good. Coco loco (?) or whatever it was called was tasty.
Once we’d had enough we headed back to check out the pirate ship water play area. My husband and son hung there then migrated to the Splashaway Bay while my daughter and I checked out the marketplace near Chill Island. We saw some cool chickens strutting around. Prices were so/so but we did purchase a necklace and wooden shark figurine as the kids’ souvenirs ($20 and $15, respectively which I thought was reasonable for “vacation pricing”). I was eyeing the cool wooden swords for my pirate-loving son but between the $50 price and his rambunctious nature I though better of it. Headed back to the ship around 4, exhausted and hungry. Overall a nice stop, though there is far too much to see in one day. We clocked a good 20,000 steps and really only saw 3 areas. Would have loved to have another day to explore but happy with the time we did spend there.
Nassau: Oh boy. We booked the Blackbeard’s Revenge pirate ship excursion through RC. Met at the indicated zone in port just off the ship, filled out waivers and handed in tickets. We then walked about halfway to the marketplace where we diverted to a covered pavilion and waited 5 or so minutes to board. It was fun, lively and entertaining. All the actors really committed to the bit and included the kids in several activities onboard. At one point they slowed the boat and let the kids throw bread off the side to feed the fish. It was much hotter than I expected it to be but there were plenty of shady spots to find refuge. The gift shop/restrooms area was air conditioned and felt amazing after enduring the sun for a while. Though we were a little disappointed the gift shop wasn’t operating and didn’t have anything to purchase. The bar offered drinks and snacks for purchase- we were given two tickets each, good for either rum or virgin punch. The rum punch was strong and cold. The snacks were prepackaged cookies, chips, etc and ranged from $2-$4 from what we could see. At the end of our voyage the pirates dragged out a treasure chest and gave each child Mardi Gras bead necklace “treasures”. Overall fun and memorable experience.
After the pirate excursion, we initially decided to try to venture over to Ardastra Gardens however my husband got super sketched out once we left the sterile port area and got further into town so we quickly returned. Most locals were friendly but there were definitely some shady characters hanging around and fair bit of pushiness from vendors and taxi drivers. I didn’t feel unsafe per se but certainly wary. Probably better off not venturing out with kids out of precaution. My husband wanted nothing to do with it. We purchased some souvenirs in a fairly commercial looking shop just outside of the port then wandered around the port market a bit. Nobody here was pushy and a much different vibe than outside of the gates. I had hoped to look around more but by this time my son was over it and beginning to melt down, my daughter was hangry and overheating and we were coming down off the adrenaline of leaving the port so we bought some kind of limeade drink (delicious) and headed back to ship for a much needed lunch and rest.
EMBARKATION/DISEMBARKING:
Super smooth and painless. We cruised with BC and ID (yeah yeah yeah I know) and it was beyond simple. I had read comments saying it would be a pain and hassle, longer lines, end of the world, but we had no issues. Security flagged our backpack for my husband’s Zyn packets- I suppose they look like little drug bundles in the X-ray. Once we showed them and explained, it was fine. Our boarding time was 10:30-11. We breezed through and only had about an hour delay in boarding because they were fogging/sanitizing due to Noro outbreak on previous sailing. They told us it was because of a cargo ship but we all knew. Kismet seated us next to someone I’d spoken with in the FB sailing group so we chatted and they helped entertain my increasingly impatient 4yo. Glad I brought snacks in my carryon to tide him over during this unexpected wait. We’d had a good breakfast at the hotel that morning but if you have small children, you probably understand.
Leaving was very similar. Departed the ship, made our way to luggage pickup, stopped to show documents and we were on our way. Only hang up was the wait for an Uber. I wasn’t sure what to expect as far as the security process and timing coming back into the US so I didn’t prearrange the ride. It took 20ish mins to be assigned a driver but it wasn’t terrible. Now I know for next time it’s a quick and shockingly simple process.
We were fortunate to have beautiful weather and calm seas for most of our trip, though the last two days were overcast, rainy on and off and quite rocky. It didn’t bother me on the ship but coming home it’s taken me a solid 2 days to find my land legs.
2023.06.04 16:52 micronesiarain Episode 5- "Killer Queens" 🔪😱
 | Before this episode begins, I am so happy to say that this is the 100th episode of MDR! I guess I knew we'd reach it one day, but still can't believe it. It has truly felt like it's flown by, but the countless memories I have are a reminder of the past year and a half, and all 100 episodes. I am so appreciative of the support on this project, it has been so much fun to bring to life, and I can't thank everyone enough for letting us get to this milestone. Enjoy the episode <3 submitted by micronesiarain to XtinasDragRace [link] [comments] ------------------------- the queens return to the workroom after Sharris' elimination 🏁Kami CF: Coming back from the last elimination, I feel like we need at least two to three business days to decompress. It was wild! Steph: Well...how y'all doin'? the queens look around the room in silence Whorechata: I just wanted to say something. Things got really out of hand earlier, and I know it was hard for all of us. But if there was any group to go through this with, I'm glad it was you all. Wren: Aw, thank you. I feel the same wa- Whorechata: I mean really, there's no group I'd want to go through being safe with. It was such an intense moment, but you all held me down. Sue: ... Anthyy: That's not where I thought you were going with that! Whorechata: Oh and I guess the Sharris thing was unfortunate too, but the real tragedy was just so much worse. 🏁Whorechata CF: Whew, let me try and hold back these tears. I knew this competition would get intense, but I never knew the level it would get to. So when Micro called me safe, it was a wake up call about just how nasty things can get here. A disaster, truly. Morgs: I don't want to excuse what Sharris said. It was definitely not a nice thing to say. Wren: I swear there's a "but" coming. Steph: Wren, this is a family show... Morgs: But, I have to be real and say that I'm sad to see her gone. She was someone I was really close with, and I know that this meant so much. Blondie: You can be sad that your friend isn't here anymore, but you really can't be sad that her toxic energy was removed from this environment. Morgs: My relationship with Sharris wasn't toxic. I know she did some of you wrong. But that wasn't my experience. 🏁Morgs CF: I feel like I'm put between a rock and Jackie Cox's face right now. All of the other queens are allowed to react however they want to when it comes to one of their friends going home. But when I do it, it feels like I'm not really allowed to feel sad about it. Anthyy: I never saw myself picking Sharris to go home, especially this early. But I can reveal that I chose her lipstick. And I do feel for Morgs, that's your sister. What it came down to was that I needed to make sure the competition was kept as drama free as possible. Morgs: I understand, it's okay. 🏁Anthyy CF: Morgs and Sharris were two people I had an alliance with. Even before we came here, I knew we'd look out for each other. However, it comes down to what feels right on a human level, and Sharris took things too far with Wren. I had to take a stand, even if it meant sending home an ally. Wren: Full tea, what Sharris said didn't really bother me. I've heard worse, and I'm sure I'll hear worse in the future. Blondie: That's not fair to you, though. Wren: It's okay! You all know that me loving myself isn't an issue, I'm not about to let that get to me. 🏁Wren CF: I mean, how did Sharris want me to react? Did she want this to be the part where you bring out the tiny violin and switch everything to black and white while I wistfully look through a window while a single tear falls down my well defined cheekbones? Girl bye. Blondie: One thing's for sure, people proved who they really were. Some of you who rode for what Sharris was saying, I won't forget that. Fleur rolls her eyes and laughs 🏁Blondie CF: My relationship with Fleur has gone down to a zero. Or scratch that, a negative two. We do run in similar circles, and I was expecting that to mean something in this competition. And it did for the first day or so. But when the pressure got turned up, Fleur showed her true colors. I need space from her right now, or else I'll pop off, and I'm not trying to be a fighter again. All that screaming messes up your vocal chords, and Fleur is not worth that! Fleur: The vagueness is killing me. Blondie: I'm not being vague, I'm just not giving you the attention you're craving. Fleur: Blondie, be so real right now. Do you think I'm scared of you? Do you think there's any reason why I should be scared of you in this competition? Blondie: Based on who won a challenge, maybe! Fleur: Oh right, I forgot you won a challenge. Or did you even win it? It felt a lot like Zodya carrying you. Blondie: The win is still sitting pretty. Something not everyone can say! 🏁Fleur CF: Blondie, I tried. I tried to defy the odds and actually get along with you here. But you've just proven to me that everyone here is truly awful. I'm not worried about anyone here being able to take me out. So why not give them hell and make them all miserable? That sounds even nicer than a crown. Yes, that'll do just fine. Get ready for it, you woke up the bitch. Well, the inner bitch. The outer bitch has been here the whole time. You know what I meant. And edit some nice villain music under all of that. It's showtime! The Next Day the queens dance into the workroom and over to the table 🏁Kami CF: It's a new day in the workroom, and I'm hoping the next challenge is something like baking cupcakes. That might be the only thing capable of bringing us back together. But for real, that would be so fun... Zodya: Sue, I have to ask how you felt during the last lipsync. Sue: I was fine. Really, I was so fine! And side note, but the sheets in the hotel are really great at absorbing tears. Or so I've been told. 🏁Sue CF: I really thought that last week could've been it for me. Everything felt so right, but it just wasn't enough. I'm desperate to prove myself as a strong competitor here, and someone that people should be afraid of. But without a win, it's hard to do that. Whorechata: I was surprised at the top two, and that's only a moderate read. Zodya: I'm scared for this answer, but who would you have taken out of the top? Anthyy: And I know you might say me, but I don't really care. I know I turned it out, mama. Whorechata: I would have replaced both of you! I think Sue should've been up there. And the other spot would have to go to a beautiful queen, full of talent, starts with a W... Wren: Aw, me? Whorechata: No, me. Wren: Oh! Not sure why I'm even surprised by that at this point. the workroom door swings open and Micro walks in, wearing a tailored white suit with a matching hat and cherry red lip Micro: Hello queens! Steph: Alright, pimp mama! Micro: Last week, things got a little tense. And uh, that might be a bit of an understatement. Which is why for your next challenge, it would make sense to do something a little more lighthearted. Kami: Yes please! Micro: But you know how we do things around here. For your next challenge, you'll be killing each other. Blondie: Oh dear god. Micro: With your acting, of course! The ten of you will be randomly split into two teams of five. In this group, you will be in charge of producing a plot, trailer, and captivating poster for the next big horror movie. How you choose to work within your team, that's up to you. But if I were you, I'd be sure to contribute if you want to avoid the bottom. And on the runway, category is "Pretty Little Prosthetics". Good luck, and get ready to scream! 🏁Blondie CF: For our challenge this week, we're split into teams as we create a horror movie. On my team, we have Fleur, Kami, Whorechata, and Zodya. And on the other team, Anthyy, Morgs, Steph, Sue, and Wren. Less than thrilled to be on a team with Fleur, but it's a strong group, and I think our chances of winning are pretty solid! the teams scatted through the workroom, with Blondie, Fleur, Kami, Whorechata, and Zodya talking by the couches 🏁Whorechata CF: It's starting to get to me that I haven't really been performing at the level I know I'm capable of here. I'm feeling a new sense of determination this week, and I have a whole list of ideas for this challenge. It's time to prove why I'm here. Whorechata: So...I have ideas. Fleur: There's a first for everything! Whorechata: I'm thinking it could be cool to have the movie be shown from two different perspectives. The same story, but you see it differently depending on who it's focusing on. A sort of play on how the same situation can be perceived differently by different people. Zodya: Wait, I love that? Kami: That's a really great idea. Whorechata: I know, that's why I said it! I mean...thanks! 🏁Kami CF: I do tend to feel stressed in group challenges. Especially with this big of a group. There are five of us. There might be more room to hide, but it's also so much harder to stand out. I want my voice to be heard, and I want to shine, but I'm not sure how. Fleur: I'll volunteer to work on the poster. Kami: Nice! Do you want help on that? Fleur: Hmm, I think I can do it on my own. 🏁Fleur CF: First of all, I'd rather eat sand than work with anyone on my team. And, the poster is a huge part of this challenge. If I do it on my own, that means all the credit goes to me. Maybe a bad idea if the poster turns out ugly, but I'm not too worried about that. My only worry now is what to wear for the lipsync this week! Zodya: Blondie, do you have an idea of what you're working on? Blondie: I'll do whatever you need. Put me wherever and give me something to do. Whorechata: Work with me on the script. I need someone to read through it and make sure it makes sense. One little issue, can you read? Blondie: You bitch. 🏁Whorechata CF: I didn't plan on taking a leader position this week, but it kinda fell into place. We're getting some good work done, most of us at least. Kami, I know she wants to contribute, but I don't know what she's done yet? And that's starting to worry me. We might not be able to get this done in time... the team of Anthyy, Morgs, Steph, Sue, and Wren talk around the table Anthyy: Ladies, ready to win? I need this one! Wren: Oh please, you do not need another win right now. I'm already getting the Greantee flashbacks as is! 🏁Wren CF: Being on a team with Anthyy is really scary. I like her, we get along. But if we do well, that means another win for her. At a certain point, we need to stop her. Sue: I feel like I could work on the poster? I can do my best with that! Wren: That's perfect. Do we want ours to be a parody of iconic movies, or should it be fully original? Morgs: I would maybe bring those ideas together. It can be a new and fresh idea, but still referencing certain ideas that have worked before. Wren: I like that, I like that. Anthyy: I would feel most comfortable working on the poster. Steph: I think Sue mentioned wanting to work on that. Anthyy: I don't want to take it away from her of course. Sue: No, it's okay! Whatever is best for the team. Anthyy: Are you sure? Sue: If that's what will make our team strong, that's what we should do. Anthyy: Thank you Sue, such a queen! Morgs, do you want to get some work done on this? Morgs: Anything for you, well of course! the team works on their script before coming back together to go over their progress Anthyy: I have the outfits for the poster almost done. But don't worry, they'll be done. Wren: Not to be shady, but what were the two of you doing for all that time? You were gone for awhile, and didn't get anything done. Morgs: She just said she was working on the outfits and that they're almost done. Wren: The two of you talked a lot about what you were going to contribute, I'm not seeing much of anything. You need to do your part in the group. Anthyy: We are. Don't diminish our work! Wren: I don't see what work I'm diminishing... 🏁Wren CF: Maybe I need to appoint myself as the team leader, because we are not making enough progress. Anthyy and Morgs are like the two friends in school who work together on all the projects, but never get anything done because they're talking the whole time. We have serious work to do! Morgs: I've been adding to the script, Anthyy's done the outfits, we've done more than enough. Wren: That's not what I asked you two to do. Morgs, you were supposed to look over what I was doing, not add your own stuff. Morgs: I get that, but I'm not going to sit back and do nothing. Wren: Well it feels like you're either doing nothing, or just making things worse. 🏁Anthyy CF: Wren is making me and Morgs feel horrible during this challenge. We're doing the work, more than some other people in the team! But she ignores that since they're friends. It's making me question if I want to even be here, because she's making me feel so bad right now. the teams continue to work, as Whorechata goes over to the other team Whorechata: So like, what if we had more time? Steph: We have to be on the runway soon, I don't think that's an option. Whorechata: If we all ask for a few more hours, maybe Micro will give it to us. 🏁Whorechata CF: What we have so far is good. But time is our biggest issue. If we can get a little extra, I know we can pull it all together. And it helps the other team too, it makes sense. Anthyy: I don't think we need the extra time. Wren: We don't, I know we don't. 🏁Wren CF: Your poor time management is not my fault. We were given the time we were given. If you can't make that work, start packing your bags. Whorechata: But would you be against it? Anthyy: I'm not making a scene over extra time, but we don't need it. Whorechata: So what I'm hearing is that I can ask for more time... Morgs: I wouldn't be mad with more time. Sue: I'm happy to make it work either way. Whorechata: Perfect! Whorechata leaves the workroom to ask a producer about extra time, before realizing there are no producers, only Micro. She drags Micro into the workroom while she's halfway done with getting ready for the runway Micro: Chile, what now? Whorechata: You know how much we love you, right? And how you really don't even need a corset, no matter what everyone says about your waist. Micro: Excuse me? Whorechata: What I'm saying is, we need a little more time for the challenge. Micro: And everyone's good with that? Whorechata: They'd love it! Micro: I'm asking them...not you. Whorechata: Sorry, I'm just speaking for the people. I'm motherly like that. Micro: Does anyone strongly object to a few more hours for the challenge. Anthyy and Wren hesitate before raising their hands, and bringing them back down when nobody else objects Micro: Alright, you can have a few more hours. But you better use it and make this the best challenge yet. Whorechata: Mwah, thank you! 🏁Wren CF: When Micro says that there's an extension, I start to see red. Our group does not need this extra time. We may not have everything done right now, but when we hit the runway, it would've been ready. Micro leaves the workroom and the queens talk while getting ready by the mirrors Wren: This is such bullshit, just so you all know. Kami: What happened? Wren: This whole extra time. Kami: Were you guys done with your work? Wren: ...that's not the point. We would've been done with it. Anthyy: To me, it just feels like riggory. Micro wants the underdogs to win this week, so she's giving you more time. Zodya: Underdogs? Anthyy: I don't mean that in a shady way. I'm just saying that our team seemed stronger, and Micro wanted to make it less obvious. It's clear to me. Wren: Exactly. 🏁Zodya CF: I don't know what Anthyy and Wren are trying to get at with this. I saw their work, it's nowhere near done. And in what world are we the underdogs? Anthyy sees everything by the numbers, but that isn't the only thing that matters in a challenge like this. Anthyy: Look, it doesn't matter. Congrats on winning this week, woohoo! Runway the lights flicker and an electric magenta light floods the runway as Micro struts down the center Micro Episode 5 Look Micro: Welcome back to the runway of Micro's Drag Race: All Stars Two! This week, the queens were challenged with working in teams to come up with original horror film concepts. And joining me on the judging panel is a queen with killer creativity, Lisbon! Lisbon Guest Judging Look Micro: Lisbon, thank you for being here! Lisbon: Anything for you...as long as you give me a crown one day. Micro: Ha! Lisbon: I'm not joking...oh at all. Micro: Oh. I'll see what I can do about that! Do you have any terrifying moments from your time on MDR that might inspire you in a challenge like this? Lisbon: Why yes, I have quite a few! Season One Episode Twelve, All Stars One Episode Twelve, XDRVTW Episode Six. I'd have to say those really stick out. Micro: Any reason? Lisbon: Nope, none at all! Lisbon pulls out her voodoo dolls of Unieke, Tiwa, and Crystal Micro: Well, that is not at all troubling! You ready to get into things? Lisbon: Please, before I turn these dolls into a pile of fluff. Micro: Alright! First up on the runway, category is "Pretty Little Prosthetics"! "Bad Juju" by Jujubee plays Anthyy: Tonight on the runway the theme is prosthetics! And honey trust me this theme is just asking itself for it to be a creppy spooky lewk, but i already served that last week and on episode 1 an literally thorught the whle halloween special for miss Xtina so this time i wanted to make sure i am as girly as i can be with this prostehtics them! But also there is another layer to it i would never just go for a look and dont do nothing behing to it. Tonight on the runway i am channeling a broken porcelain ballerina doll. My whole dress is made out of glass and i am walking very carefully but stunning-ly by the runway. Her story is that her soul is trapped inside a ballerina's figure body and as you can see on the skin an thorughout her body she is slowly turning into that sad ballerina with the glass pieces cutting through her skin,, thats what the prostheticas are in my look! they modify her whole face, she is sad on the glass side, she is trapped and she is bleeding! but in pink! cause pretty girls have pink blood! Don't try and check it though! This runway also need to have a personal touch for me to feel good about it and tonight i wanted to honur my grandma, since she always wanted to become a ballerina but never made it! so granny tonight! you are the prettiest glass ballerina on the mainstage of the biggest compeitiotn! Anthyy Look Blondie: KERMI! I AM READY FOR MY CLOSE-UP MON AMOUR! Tonight I am representing the original camp/fashion icon Miss Piggy! I am wearing prosthetic ears, a nose, and a cute wiggly tail! I am also wearing more passing than usual to create that big girl magic energy, so not only am I appropriating fat people, but pigs as well! The dress is completely made by moi and completely bedazzled, I get actual pearls and diamond encrusted headband, and I styled the 40 inch weave myself! I am taking a huge risk going camp, but I rather go out looking like a pig, than actually being one (cough cough Alex cough cough) . And you don't like it, expect this karate chop! HI-YA! Blondie Look Fleur: People say I am two faced which I don't necessarily agree with because I say what I want when I want but I just wanted to pay homage to the losers of my past arguements who call me two faced by wearing a prosthetic head! Two heads is always better than one head, am I right Fleur Look Kami: For my prosthetics lewk I am getting down and dirty mawma! I just wanted to do something fun this week, so I have gone with this sort of pig prosthetic thingy. This is for my fellow vegan/vegetarian qweens! #ISTANDWITHVEGANTEACHER Kami Look Morgs: Silicon manufacturing with your own skin using inorganic compounds of negotiated slurp products for your bodacious perfect size scabs snack for youthful glow anti aging properties may turn vou slime new products for you soon including waters I discussed with Wren stay tune #microfracking Morgs Look Steph: for my prosthetic look tonight i wanted to gag everyone by showing that i can be green with envy and still be pretty. just look at my skin and my long nose and she’s bald! also that rat is just a little scrumptious snack for later YUMMY YUMMY!! what’s not to love. i love a long soft prosthetic nose, ears, and chinnnn. if ur chin ain’t long, you’re just wrong! Steph Look Sue: So for this runway I am serving you the end of the world but she I still a bad bitch because uwu. Sue Look Whorechata: On the runway tonight I am feeling very SAFE! I am a kraken craking backs mawma! She is giving a full squid head prosthetic this evening. I am ready to wreck holes and boats tonight!!! Whorechata Look Wren: Today on the runway I am giving you Ratrina Ratson, heir to the Ratson throne. She is DRIPPING in like a million fucking layers of jewels, necklaces, bracelets, and silver. When she moves it sounds like windchimes. I have been consistently getting the critique that I don't drag things up enough, and I hope thisll change that. This is what happens if the rats in Cinderella were sent to the ball instead of her, Cinderella has rats in it right? I'm literally just realizing while typing this that I have never seen Cinderella. Wren Look Zodya: For this runway, I am showing off a look inspired by the Dilophosaurus! I have used prosthetics to make myself look fully reptilian, including my large, colorful flaps of skin off my face and hands. And don’t forget to mention my talons, as well as the horns sprouting out throughout my body. Don’t mess with me, queens, or else I’ll tear you apart and eat you alive…in Minecraft! Zodya Look ------------------------- Micro: Thank you ladies. You all look gorgeous, or terrifyingly disturbing. But hey, these looks will definitely be hard to forget. Now, let's take a look at your horror movie scripts. Team 1: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1e-6bIAzNsvFOqKMMaqR7z5Y2ca503HZnzg15Ym4GfLc/edit# Team 2: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1EoPn63HhkzwHNf1O4zJJ_Zj0U7tk07x96rx_iCZO4jg/edit?usp=sharing https://youtu.be/eVFuGpRHkdU Critiques Micro: Based on your performances tonight, Lisbon and I have formed some opinions. It's time for your critiques. Micro: First up, Team 1 (Blondie, Fleur, Kami, Whorechata, Zodya)! Lisbon: Well, hello ladies… and Fleur. This concept was really interesting! I like that you weren’t afraid to approach it more seriously and it felt very atmospheric. However, it fell a little flat for me I guess? The addition of the hallucinations felt odd and left me wondering if Desireé or whatever was like- magic? I think this felt like a solid horror short story but I feel like it lacked imagination and was pretty middle of the road content wise. As for your runways… Blondie, I really love this look as I am the Miss Piggy extraordinaire but I wish it was elevated a little more. It’s giving Ariana meets Miss Piggy which I love but it’s definitely a bit more pedestrian than I’d like for All Stars. Fleur this is one of my top looks of the night you look absolutely horrid, no note really other than the glitter bouquet feels a wee bit cheap. Kami, this is cunt. No notes. Lucky, you look good! It’s a great look, I just want more mug I suppose. Zodya this is fierce, I love a concept that is well executed! One note and this is mainly a personal preference, I wish the face was more cunt less monster, but obviously that’s nitpicking. Micro: Hello pretty ladies!! I think within this group, you all have such clear strengths, and I was curious to see how that would work in a team format. And I have to say, I’m really impressed by what you came up with. Starting with the poster, I think it captures that eery feeling and the split down the poster played perfectly into the story of the movie. I think some more contrast on the poster could’ve made it pop even more, but I thought it was nicely done! In the plot, I think this was structured a little more as a scene or trailer, rather than it being an overall summary of what the film would be about and the journey it would take us on. It was well written, I just think it ended up being overshadowed by the trailer since the vibe was quite similar between the two. Speaking of the trailer, it was so gripping. I was reading as fast as I could to see what would happen next, and that level of suspense isn’t easy to achieve. My one little nitpick would be that I wish the split perspectives were showcased more, but really fantastic work. On the runway, solid looks from each of you! Kami, I love the campiness of this look, and how you and Blondie played into the pig elements of the movie. Very clever! Fleur, this is the blend of concept and glamour that you do so well, nicely done. Lucky and Zodya, these creature looks can be tough to hold onto the fashion, but you both managed to pull it off. The scaling is grand and extravagant, two of the strongest looks of the night. Overall, very impressed by your group! Micro: Next, Team 2 (Anthyy, Morgs, Steph, Sue, Wren)! Lisbon: You guys… acting challenges are hard and I get that but this thing? Was super fun!!! Oh my god!!! I think taking the camp and parody route is a risk that is well worth taking because this was really good! Troglodyte was a standout in my opinion, but everyone had their moments. This was such a fun watch and you mixed two horror franchises really well! Micro is a lot scarier though to be honest. My issue tonight with this team is the runways as opposed to the other team over there. Starting with Anthyy, I love the concept as a former dancer, I just know this execution could’ve been a little more en pointe. I’m hilarious. I just wish it was more clearly prosthetic. Morgs, this is a well executed cliché with a fun twist. I’ve seen and was expecting a booby girl but I like that you are pink, this runway isn’t winning any awards though. Steph… girl… these prosthetics are so good… but this dress is god awful. You are giving Party City girl, and that’s the point blank truth. Sue. Meh. It’s fine, just not mind blowing. WREN WHY ARE YOU A RAT? This look is train wreck central. Those are necklace and earring PNGs on that dress and I don’t even know what’s going on with your face. Rat? Why? But like, this group had a phenomenal challenge, but was challenged with looks. Micro: This team is full of some creative creative ladies, so I was really excited to see y’all in a team together. And I just have to say, the execution of this was incredibly well done. The poster, I love the custom looks, the dark shadowy feel, the scary ass “person” in the back, and the little “probably not though” at the bottom. That was a really fun little comedic touch that gave the poster some depth. I have to be honest, I was a little worried when I saw that the concept was so similar to Drag Race, just with a darker twist. I think for a challenge like this, it could’ve been an opportunity to go balls to the wall. But within the concept, you found really nuanced ways of telling the story. The character building and storytelling was next level, and it made me so invested in what was happening. The audio as well, in the words of Wendy Williams, “it was scuh-ary”. I think the way you structured everything as well was something we could actually see with a plot and trailer, clean and concise. The twisted humor throughout the trailer added lots of special touches, I loved to see it. On the runway, some serves were served! Anthyy, this dark ballerina moment is so pure, but also has darker levels beneath the surface. Steph, I think the actual prosthetic work here is amazing. But the dress, I wish it was so much more!! Morgs and Sue, I love how you both took a more standard fashion silhouette, and infused that prosthetic twist throughout. Wren, rat queen! This week was truly a return to the originality and dedication you showcased on Season Six, and this runway proves that. It’s weird, it doesn’t make sense, it’s glamorous, it checks all the boxes. Nicely done. Overall, great work from this team!! Micro: Thank you ladies. This week, you worked in teams. But your individual work is what matters here. When I call your name, please step forward. Micro: Anthyy, Fleur, Morgs, Steph, Zodya. The five of you are safe. You may step to the back of the stage. 🏁Anthyy CF: Disappointed to only be safe, but this week was really awful for me, and I'm just glad I was able to make it through. Micro: Blondie Dahl. On the runway, you were a blushing bacon bride. Micro: Whorechata Grande. In the challenge, you had us all questioning reality. Micro: Wren Wyvern. This week, you scurried your way to the top. Micro: Whorechata, Wren. Congratulations, you are the top two queens of the week! 🏁Whorechata CF: And that's how you do it. 🏁Wren CF: Yes!! Fuck yes!! Finally I get my moment, this is what I've been waiting for! Micro: Blondie, you are safe. Blondie: Better than getting the pork chop! Micro: Sadly, that means Kami and Sue, you are the bottom queens of the week. 🏁Kami CF: This is a horrible feeling. I know how badly I want this, and the thought of my dream being cut short, it's heartbreaking. 🏁Sue CF: I'm devastated right now. I wanted this to be the week where I got to the top, not fall to the bottom. I don't want to be the reason Kami goes home, but I need to fight for my spot. Micro: Whorechata, Wren. In a moment, you will lipsync for your legacy and for the right to eliminate one of the bottom queens. Head backstage to Untucked and deliberate. Untucked the queens enter Untucked 🏁Zodya CF: The bottom two this week is crushing to see. You don't want it to be you, but it stings seeing such amazing people in the bottom. For once, I am glad to not be in the top. Kami: First and foremost, congratulations! Not the ideal situation, but the two of you crushed it, and we need to celebrate that. Wren: Aw, thank you. I don't want to be obnoxious with how I'm feeling, but this just feels amazing. Like, ahhhhh!! Whorechata: I told myself that I would be able to win this challenge if I set my mind to it. And look at me now! It makes me feel great. Steph: I'm obviously really happy for the two of you, but devastated at who's in the bottom. I really didn't expect this. Sue: I thought I gave it my all this week. But when you hear the critiques, it's hard not to feel like you could've done more. I guess that's what I'm feeling right now. Steph: Aw, Sue. I thought you were great. Sue: Thanks. This just, it means more to me than I thought it did? And to go from feeling like I was picking up steam to totally crashing, it's not a slay moment. Steph: Very not slay. Blondie: Whatever happens, you two have brought so much to this. It means a lot that I can call you my sisters. Morgs: Did anyone have issues working with their team? Zodya: I think we all got along! Kami: There was a clear end goal of what we wanted to get done. It would've been nice to feel like we all had the chance to do our fair share, but it was a good experience overall. Whorechata: I know you wanted to do more. But it's up to you to step in and make sure you're involved. You'll get left behind if you wait for us to bring you in. Kami: Yeah, I get it. It's just a lot of emotions, sorry. Whorechata: Hey, you're good. Anthyy: I thought we worked really well. We all brought our own unique twist, and it came out great in my eyes. Morgs giggles 🏁Anthyy CF: The other team does not need to know how bad things were for us. If they know, then they'll think I'm not good at working in a team. They need to think that everything went perfectly! Kami: I would love the opportunity to speak with the top queens if that's alright. Just plead my case a bit. Sue: That would be nice for me as well. 🏁Sue CF: I want to prove to the top queens this week that I deserve to be here. I regret letting Anthyy take over for the poster. But a lot of the love that the characters got, I helped with that. This isn't my time to go, I know it isn't. Whorechata: Alright, let's chat! Kami talks with Whorechata and mentions their connection to Season Five, and how she wants to represent for that. She shares that during Season Five, she felt like she was overshadowed by Moof, and unable to really stand on her own as a strong competitor. Being in the bottom made her realize how badly she wants this, and moving forward, she's dedicated to giving everything she has to this competition Sue talks with Wren and Wren says that she thought Sue would've been in the top this week. Wren tells Sue that her heart is being pulled in two different directions. While she's gotten close with Kami, she can't overlook her long friendship with Sue. Sue tells Wren that she stands by what she did in the challenge, and wishes she took more responsibility for her contributions while the top and bottom queens deliberate, Anthyy and Morgs chat by the touch up mirrors Anthyy: Honestly, I'm over it. Morgs: Oh no, over what? Anthyy: I feel like I need to leave maybe. The way Wren made me feel during the challenge, and saying we weren't doing enough. 🏁Anthyy CF: When we were working on the challenge, Wren said multiple times that she didn't think Morgs and I were doing enough. And to me, that felt like a really shady way of ganging up on us to make sure none of the praise for the challenge got shown to us. I felt myself getting closer with Wren, but her questioning my work ethic, it really broke me. Morgs: You can't leave. You're doing too well. Anthyy: I didn't come here to deal with all this stress. I came here to win, and the pressure is eating away at me. And now for someone to be coming after me, I can't do it anymore. 🏁Morgs CF: Losing Anthyy isn't an option right now. She's the closest person I have here, and I know that she would regret leaving. That's my girl, I need to make sure she's alright. Morgs: I will cry if you go home, and you don't want to make me cry. Anthyy: No, I don't want that! I know I need to fight through this, but it's really hard. I'm not sure what I'll do. the queens return to the runway Micro: Welcome back queens! Will the top two queens of the week please step forward. Whorechata Lipsync Look Wren Lipsync Look Micro: Prior to tonight, you were asked to prepare a lipsync performance of "Die Young" by Kesha. https://youtu.be/NOubzHCUt48 Micro: This is your chance to impress me, and earn the right to give one of the bottom queens...the chop. 🏁Whorechata CF: Little do they know, I put pockets all up in here. Give me all the lipsticks, send 'em all home! 🏁Wren CF: Oh bitch, I'm ready for this! I need to give these girls a few lessons. Micro: Good luck, and don't fuck it up! Read the lipsync here! Micro: Well, that was something! I've made my decision. ... ... Micro: Wren Wyvern. You're a winner, baby! 🏁Wren CF: I did it!! If you asked me how I felt a few hours ago, I would've said that I was questioning my place here. But this little taste of victory, it snapped me right back into place. Micro: Whorechata. You are safe to slay another day. You may step to the back of the stage. Whorechata: Safe, of course. Smile through the pain, smile through the pain. Micro: You may step to the back of the stage. Whorechata: I mean, I could. But what if I stood here? Would I be a winner. Micro: ...no. No, you would not. Whorechata: Shh, no more words. Micro: Now, will the bottom queens please step forward. Kami and Sue step to the front of the stage with shaky hands Micro: I won't lie, this sucks. Both of you are such special queens in this competition. Wren. With great power comes great responsibility. Wren: Ugh, this is the worst part. Micro: Which queen have you chosen...to get the chop? Wren: Ultimately I believe with one of you I would not be in the top and you were such a joy to have on our team and you did a lot of the conceptualizing. I am not about to have my Bebe Zahara Benet moment so the person I have chosen is… ... ... Wren: Kami. Wren's Lipstick Choice Kami smiles and wipes away a tear as Micro and the other queens get emotional Wren: I'm so sorry. Kami: It's all good, I promise! 🏁Kami CF: I wanted this. I wanted this so bad. But I'm leaving this competition as a better queen than I was when I walked in. Seeing people believe in me gave me permission to believe in myself. My time will come. Micro: Kami. You are one of the kindest, genuine, and most talented queens to ever grace this stage. Kami: I appreciate that more than I can say. It might not have ended the way I wanted, but I'm forever grateful for this experience. Micro: Sadly, I must ask you to sashay away. Kami walks to the back of the stage as Anthyy leads a crowd of queens up on stage to embrace Kami before she leaves Kami: Love you all. Until we meet again! Micro: Whew. Congratulations to the nine of you for making it through another week. I know I get all "whaaaa" and a little "oh my damn" at these eliminations, but this one hit different. And they're only getting harder each week. Keep up the great work, and let the music play! "Banjo" by Bebe Zahara Benet plays Next Time on Micro's Drag Race: All Stars Micro: Get ready for the buffoonery, riggory, and tomfoolery of "Robbed: The Musical!". Anthyy: I don't know if I can do this anymore. It's all too much. 🏁Wren CF: The competition is being flipped on its head. Things can change so quickly. Track Record Cast Shot w/ Placements |
2023.05.10 11:33 Ethereal_Stars_7 Like Rats: Part 020: Visions and Portents
20h chapter!
[Previous] Part 019 [Next] Part 021
<<<<><<<<><<<<>>
Like Rats
<<<<><<<<><<<<>>
Part Twenty
Visions and Portents... In Space!
It is a nice bright sunny morning on Eros today as I wake up and stretch. Nice to be back to normal-ish gravity after two years at the Pax Academy earning my officer's commission. A weeks downtime before assignment. Pretty excited really to be back on a ship and running the tunnels. Think I really impressed my Llygoden Fawr teacher with my maze handling techniques. Good to be back on Eros even if it is just briefly. All my stuff still here. One of the boons of not having to pay rent or worry about theft.
I get up, shower, dress. There is a big B'uck-r'uck-ch'irp fleet inbound and everyone is excited to meet the birds as our contact with them has been so little so far. Seven super-carriers! I glance up at the morning sky where the alien ships will soon be in orbit above. I spend the day re-acquainting with old friends after a two year leave. Not much has changed really. Some of the outer city construction is progressing with assistance from our alien friends. Kind of fun to see aliens walking the streets even here and there.
Most of my day is spent relaxing, filling out some transfer forms and adding to my homes little collection of souvenirs from my Academy days. Especially my Tunnel Master trophy and my Second Place badge in hand-to-hand. A fine accomplishment for a human when pitted against aliens. I glance fondly at my XM-50 Mars Rocket Gun. My tunnel tech teacher personally upgraded it from stage three standard issue, to stage four. A little award for taking to the tubes so readily.
-<>-
Evening now and the B'uck-r'uck-ch'irp fleet should be pulling into orbit about now. Can not see them from groundside as much more than glints of light if you know where to look. I am sitting in my home reading up a little on these giant avians when an alarm sounds and I am startled from my thoughts by cries in the streets outside? What is going on? Meteor shower maybe? We have not had any reach the ground before?
There is a soft detonation right outside and the front of my house is blown in! My first thought is that one got through and hit me.
Then I see it standing there in the smoke and dust. A towering form leaning down to peer inside the hole in my wall. Clad in blood red suit with a gold helmet with visor. Really large hands and the unmistakable beak making it all too clear who this was. One of the birds. What the Hell was going on? The avian caught sight of me and smiled predatorily. "Well Hello there. Prey."
Something tink-tinked off the floor to roll at my feet. GRENADE! Training kicked in before I even realized the threat to try and leap away! But the grenade exploded into strands of sticky filaments. Spider Grenade. I have a split second to slap one hand over my tech belt before I am being wrapped up tight as the strands tighten as they dry to cocoon a target. My leap way turned into a fall, crashing into my table where I had been reaching for my gun.
It should have been claustrophobic. But all my time training in the tunnels made it feel just kinda cozy. My mind was crystal clear as I feel across my belt for what I need. Ah. There. Micro-Welder. I switch it on and cut my way out of the cocoon in two passes. The bird is reaching for me. I reach for my Rocket Pistol laying on the floor beside me. Who is faster? Her or me?
My hand falls upon the gun and I prove the faster reflex. I whip the gun around and up, pointing it at the alien and pull the trigger.
"Do you really think that little pop-gun will do you any good, prey? Now just give u-" and there is a soft hissing of the barrel's recoil flares followed by a *k-pok* as the rocket propelled shell slams into the chest. Far too short to get up to full speed. But enough to stagger her. *k-pok* *k-pok* Two more followup shots puff out to strike the alien. Anti-ballistic armor might reduce the effect. But you see rocket rounds tend to not care as much.
Blood was pouring out of three chest wounds. But the giant bird was still standing, breathing heavier, Eros was two G's heavier than their homenest. But she still very intent on capturing me as she reached for another Spider Grenade. I stepped to the back of my room to put distance so the shells could get closer to full speed. Again I proved faster and the Rocket Gun flared, coughed three times, and though two shots went wide in my rush, the third clipped her in the head, blowing off part of the helmet and visor. She crumpled dead at my feet.
I stood there breathing hard, hands shaking as it slammed home that I had killed someone. I felt sick inside. Then more screams outside broke me out of that and I knew what had to be done. I ejected the standard clip and slapped in the special ammo clip as I stepped out onto the street and into a nightmare. Towering figures were stalking through the streets either hunting prey, or carrying off neatly bundled up and still squirming catches.
Another bird sighted me and lobbed a grenade my way. I kicked it away just in time. "Just delaying the inevitable, food." another female chirped smugly as she charged me. I pointed the gun at her and fired 1-2-3. The first shot went wild and exploded off behind her somewhere. The second clipped her helmet and blew it completely off. Explosive rounds. Even more penetration vs anti-ballistic weave.
The third round... Oh god...
The third shot hit her squarely in the face... and blew her head off...
The body though... oh god... It keeps running towards me! Headless! Still running! It trips. Falls over right before me. Blood! Blood from the stump of a neck! Blood gushes over me! The wing hands grope and flail about, brushing against me in spastic motions! Touching me! Touching me!
I scream! and Scream! and SCREAM! and-
>>> Outer Colony - Cromen un Gytref <<<
>>> Supervision Patrol Carrier SN93 - Deck 40 <<<
>>> Frontier Standard Date: 15-02-104 <<<
Seren catapulted bolt upright in bed, drenched in sweat, heart pounding and breathing coming fast.
"Gods Above Seren?" gasped Eira in bed beside him, wide eyed at what she had just seen. Seren was breathing hard and his eyes were little pinpoints. He looked around as if unsure what was real and she drew him into her embrace. "It's not real hon! It's not real! I'm here Seren. You are ok. You are safe." she told him over and over. He clung to her desperately for a time, slowly calming down. He smelled as if he had just come out of the fight of his life. Pure survival instincts. Magnitudes worse than after the Jacklighters.
Eira got him out of bed and walked him into the shower and held him for a long time. Every muscle of his body was corded like steel cables under her paws. She had never seen him this tensed up and it worried her. She petted him and caressed him, whispering he was safe now. Gradually he came back to her.
For a time he just stood there and did not talk. Just held her and kissed her. Rested his head on her shoulder. Finally though he straightened up, composed himself. "thank you." he said quietly and she helped dry him off and walk him back to bed. They sat together quietly. She was patient. But worried. She called Heart and Scribes up to their room and the two avians were just as bewildered as to what happened.
The red feathered Xeno-Sociologist quickly determined this was some deep seated past trauma and he encouraged Eira to hold and reassure him. Scribes though seemed to sense what it was and knelt at the bedside and asked the Dynol softly. "Oh Seren. It was that horrible day wasn't it?"
Finally he recovered enough to nod to Scribes and talk. It all came spilling out. The raid on Eros all those years ago. Up till then he had never killed anyone. Then in the course of a few minutes he had gunned down two people. When the raid was over the rescue teams found him in the middle of a pile of ten bodies all felled by that gun of his. Five ripped open cocoons laying at his feet. Apparently he had triggered some sort of flocking instinct and they kept zeroing in on him.
Scribes though was floored by the more shocking part of Seren's recounting. "So you actually saw a Headless? I've only ever heard old horror stories of them from our medieval times. I mean sure medical class says it can happen. But..." she shuddered and then smiled as the human patted her reassuringly. Wasn't this supposed to be the other way around?
This Heart confirmed. "There are a feathers full of documented cases. Work accidents mostly. The part of our brains that controls autonomic functions extends a big down into the neck. Behead one of us just so and the body will move about for a time. Even keep functioning if the blood loss is not too severe. There was even one case where a murderer was killed by her own headless victim when the body got up and ran around, crashed into her and sent it and the killer out a window to plummet to their demise." He shuddered at that then continued. "As for the flocking. A sort of pack reaction we get when hunting. It can even drag in bystanders uninvolved with the hunt."
"Was not just me. Others too." The rescue medics that tried to tend to him had to approach him carefully as he was staring wild eyed everywhere at once, Rocked Gun swinging around like an automated turret. They finally were able to get him on a stretcher and off to a hospital. But even sedated they could not pry the XM-50 from his hand. "The few of us who fought back and survived became something of a rallying point. Half the remaining population was signing up for the rescue fleet within hours."
"So you signed up too?" asked Scribes.
He nodded. "I was fresh out of the Academy and got the Rocket and Starburst array hot-seat due to being qualified and right there." he laughed grimly. "The only reason more did not ship was lack of ships to put them on. And when the Vulpes-Vulpes, Conin, and Llygoden Fawr allied support streaked through to join the pursuit. Well some got positions on them as well."
Eira nodded. "History book stuff now. But the Aderyn sure shook a night-biter nest! I was still in training at the time and couldn't qualify to join." she pouted with a flick of her tail.
Scribes sat before the bed and reached out to the little Dynol tearfully. "Seren. I swear we never knew! And once we found out... you know what happened next."
Seren took her big hands in his and sighed. "What is done is done. We all have our ghosts that haunt us." He looked to Heart. "I have not had that particular nightmare in years. What triggered it now of all times?"
After some deliberation Heart spoke thoughtfully. "Possibly the fact our next sector we patrol after this tour will be your own people's. Dredging up old repressed memories in anticipation." He rested a red and black feather fingered wing-hand on Seren's reassuringly. "According to my records. You have not been back to Eros since the One Month War."
Scribes felt a pang of guilt at that. Indirectly, but through her actions, she had driven the small mammal from his nest.
The Dynol nodded. "Least I got my house repaired before leaving." He looked up at the saddened avians and shrugged. "I am feeling better now though. Thank you for dashing to my rescue." he thanked them with notable embarrassment. "Can we though talk about something else? Like ohhhhh. What a funky dancer Big Red here is?" he teased.
"Seren! No fair deflecting the conversation onto me!" admonished the red feathered avian.
Seren grinned impishly. "All's fair in love and war they say."
"That would be reassuring, IF I could tell which you were waging."
Eira churrred in mirth. "I think Stick treated it as both." She made some Conin boxing moves between making kissy-kissy sounds.
Scribes chirped laughter as well. "We just had to punt you back into play whenever you tried to escape."
Heart was again glad he could not blush like a mammal Though his tail feathers clicking together gave him away.. "I was not trying to escape! I was-"
"-looking for another table." finished Seren knowingly. "Then you started getting into the beat and boom BOOM Boogie Birdie!" Commented the human as he did a strange little sitting dance oddly similar to Aderyn dances. "Obviously enticed by Stick's lovely-"
"TAIL!" Heart finished for the Dynol in shame.
"Yes yes. Tail. Swaying. Rolling. Gyrating. Wiggling. Jiggling."
The Xeno-Social expert could feel his heat rising and his feathers starting to fluff at this merciless teasing. He could not even deny the insidious little pest was right. And a broad grin graced his beak in appreciation for the simple fact that the human was playing with him. Welcoming him into the ever growing circle of friends as Heart, and nothing more. "Very wiggly jiggly." he admitted under his breath.
Stick had led him into the dance hall and selected some music from the homenest and started to strut about, slide around and around him in ever closer spirals. Seren and Scribes made sure his exit paths were blocked and Stick herself was intent on drawing him into her performance. The fighter Ace pushed him into the center stage and ramped up her performance and he felt his heat begin to rise. Without even noticing, he started to dance with her. He started off simple, calling back to the days he had fancied himself a performance dancer. Dreams crushed by negative reviews. But he had not lost his knack even so many years later.
Stick's eyes lit up as he started to get into the swing soon the two were whirling around the dance hall in increasingly close and personal patterns. The grey female was getting ever more excited as the dance increased in complexity and Heart proved more than a match to her agility.
"This Swing or is this Riverdancing?" had commented Seren as he danced with Eira away from the talons of oversized birds with eyes only for each-other.
Scribes had cackled as she watched the two. "Well that particular dance is from the river wader tribe. It's even more impressive when you are up to your knees in water." she had explained for the two mammals. "I knew Heart was a failed artist. But coooo! Look at him go! He could out dance Spinner, and he dances so sweetly." she observed.
The dance had ended with Stick leading him off for some "private dancing" and the rest of the day was off the records.
Back in the present Heart grinned even more. "Mister Seren. I shudder to think of what mayhem you might get up to if you ever delved into actual Xeno-Social studies."
-<>-
The leg of the tour ended and the Cozi Mari was readied for the fold out to the next leg of the tour, this one out to the joint Llygoden Fawr and Bakeneko colony. The trip out to a safe fold point was two days and then two more in deceleration once defolded and inbound for the colony. The stay was to be shorter than normal as the colony was very close to the Felis Sector core world and well defended. Seren and Eira opted to waive their shore leave so others could get some planetside time in. Though they did plan to visit the orbital station to do a little shopping.
At one point one G the gravity was slightly more than the original feline alien colonists had preferred and so were happy to share the planet with the rodents who were more comfortable in such an environment. Other than the gravity the planet was fairly safe, though a bit on the cooler side.
>>> Outer Colony - Unity of Paws <<<
>>> Supervision Patrol Carrier SN93 - Deck 40 <<<
>>> Frontier Standard Date: 32-02-104 <<<
On arrival Seren was able to collect on his last trade deal and distributed the earnings amongst those that contributed. "Ok. Let us see what this colony has to offer, or needs." he said as Eira and himself lounged in their cabin. The plan was to head down to the commissary and eat with the others off shift and get an idea of who wanted in on anything the Systems Tech happened to lock onto this time.
Eira was finishing up some code upgrades for security and then joined him. She stood behind the Dynol with her chin resting on top of his head and her paws on his shoulders as she watched him perform is magic. "This colony is mostly asteroid mining so I bet you will find mostly that here." she noted.
"Right you are. And oooh. Jackpot as it were. A cargo of platinum in need of a place to go." He traced a few starlanes with a finger. One stopped on the Bakeneko homeworld. "Well that is close. This is hazard cargo so a short fold means less chance for any trouble. At eighty-thousand a load and a hull class eight Hauler headed that way. We could load up and see a net profit of over three-hundred thousand credits total. Split however many opt in."
"Im in! What are they needing so much platinum for in the homeworld though." questioned Eira.
Seren tapped in a few inquiries and read it off. "Electronics mostly. Starships in particular. Sensor arrays use alot of platinum." He tapped in the order and finalized it. "Lets head down and see who wants in on this one." And so they grabbed a lift down to the Commissary deck and found a table. Not long later they were joined by the Captain and Spinner.
Nor perked up at the mention of platinum and opted in for a fourth of the haul. "Once again your nose for cargo surprises me. I agree it is a cargo that can attract unscrupulous individuals. But the Hauler you selected is well armed and has done hazard hauls before."
Spinner was intrigued as well and opted in for a quarter. Thus the profits would be split four ways. Seren ran the numbers. "That will be a projected profit of eighty-thousand credits each, on top of making back expenses as usual."
The big red fox grinned on hearing that. "Seren. You have increased my holdings substantially and directly contributed to the betterment of the Cinci Cozi Mari." He pulled from a belt pocket some notes. "I have been running your proposal past our Chief Engineer and he thinks your modification ideas are sound and will not compromise the structural integrity. If your friends are still willing... I am more than happy to forward this to Latitude Zero and schedule the changes."
The Systems Tech smiled at that news. "That will be at the end of the year. If we time things right then we can pick up our new members and integrate them into the crew as part of their Pax Academy training. Same time as you and I are doing our rank upgrades finally. The whole "auction" incident advanced my ranking quite a bit and I'll probably hit Force Commander by years end."
This got Nor's tail sweeping in pride to hear his Dynol was moving up the Supervision ranks. "We will make an Admiral of you yet little one."
"I would have been happy if reaching just Force Commander had taken a few years."
Captain Nor grinned toothily. "The Skein of Fate has you thoroughly in her embrace my friend." he swept his tail in a broad arc. "And the starlanes are better for it."
-<>-
Scanner was down on the mainframe decks doing a software update on the main sensors and carrying a stack of reinforced military program pates in her arms as she walked around the deck while thinking of a certain Dynol today. Ever since his return from the rodent homeden she had been trying to get a feel of the new Systems Tech since he was a phenomena active like herself. She was loath to admit it, but he fascinated her in his uncanny ability to slip around her extended senses practically unnoticed. She had been deeply touched by his inviting her into the carnival antics, harrowing as that roller coaster thing had been...
So far she had only gotten fleeting glimpses of his transformation phenomena and really wanted to see more of the ghostly rat. She could sense him change, but soon after he would fade from her detection and she had still not been able to pin down the why of it. Eira sometimes vanished from her field of awareness as well. But not like Seren could. She wanted to ask. But her insecurity about her power had so far kept her quiet on the matter other than reporting her findings to the Captain. He had waived off her embarrassment at having her expression ghosted and focused more on what she -could- sense.
Sometimes she could -feel- him in the tunnels behind the walls. This was strongest when he was with Eira. She envied such a strong bond and such dynamic personalities. If only she could-
*BWOMPH!*
She had walked right into something and tripped? She righted her glasses on her nose and looked under herself at what was squirming... Squirming? "Oh my!"
The little tunnel runner was squashed under her deep grey body. "smrmph..."
She practically did a backflip off him and sat kneeling on the floor with her cheeks burning in shame. "Aie! P-p-P-please forgive me!" she begged, lowering her head to the floor.
She was surprised when the Dynol just got up and patted her on the head. "Nothing damaged. Other than my pride." he grinned at her and then was moving about collecting her program plates before she could even react. "By fault for popping out of an access panel and not looking. You ok? You took a bigger tumble than I?"
The tall grey feline covered her mouth with a paw to stifle a giggle at the sight of the Systems Tech now carrying around a stack as big as he was. "I am fine. Thank you for your concern mister Seren." She tried to retrieve the plates, but the Systems Tech was already meandering down the hall in the direction she had been heading. "Left here. No! My left - Not your left! Watch out for the- never mind... Turn this way. No no! The other this way!"
Seren helped her install the plates and finished up his tasks on this level. "Just cross checking some circuits to make sure no stray particles have tripped anything that should not."
Scanner nodded, the unending task of the techs to repair cosmic radiation damage to any vessel's electronics. Thank you for your assistance and diligence. And again. My humble apologies for tripping over you."
Seren gave her a polite little salute. "Well it was at least a pleasant sea of green to be flattened under."
Scanner froze in place. "g-g-green?"
The small Dynol looked up at her quizzically. "Well Grey-Green right?"
Mirage felt cold as she comprehended in that moment that Seren could see through her disguise...
<<<<><<<<><<<<>>
submitted by Ethereal_Stars_7 to HFY [link] [comments]
[Previous] Part 019 [Next] Part 021
<<<<><<<<><<<<>>
Like Rats
<<<<><<<<><<<<>>
Part Twenty
Visions and Portents... In Space!
It is a nice bright sunny morning on Eros today as I wake up and stretch. Nice to be back to normal-ish gravity after two years at the Pax Academy earning my officer's commission. A weeks downtime before assignment. Pretty excited really to be back on a ship and running the tunnels. Think I really impressed my Llygoden Fawr teacher with my maze handling techniques. Good to be back on Eros even if it is just briefly. All my stuff still here. One of the boons of not having to pay rent or worry about theft.
I get up, shower, dress. There is a big B'uck-r'uck-ch'irp fleet inbound and everyone is excited to meet the birds as our contact with them has been so little so far. Seven super-carriers! I glance up at the morning sky where the alien ships will soon be in orbit above. I spend the day re-acquainting with old friends after a two year leave. Not much has changed really. Some of the outer city construction is progressing with assistance from our alien friends. Kind of fun to see aliens walking the streets even here and there.
Most of my day is spent relaxing, filling out some transfer forms and adding to my homes little collection of souvenirs from my Academy days. Especially my Tunnel Master trophy and my Second Place badge in hand-to-hand. A fine accomplishment for a human when pitted against aliens. I glance fondly at my XM-50 Mars Rocket Gun. My tunnel tech teacher personally upgraded it from stage three standard issue, to stage four. A little award for taking to the tubes so readily.
-<>-
Evening now and the B'uck-r'uck-ch'irp fleet should be pulling into orbit about now. Can not see them from groundside as much more than glints of light if you know where to look. I am sitting in my home reading up a little on these giant avians when an alarm sounds and I am startled from my thoughts by cries in the streets outside? What is going on? Meteor shower maybe? We have not had any reach the ground before?
There is a soft detonation right outside and the front of my house is blown in! My first thought is that one got through and hit me.
Then I see it standing there in the smoke and dust. A towering form leaning down to peer inside the hole in my wall. Clad in blood red suit with a gold helmet with visor. Really large hands and the unmistakable beak making it all too clear who this was. One of the birds. What the Hell was going on? The avian caught sight of me and smiled predatorily. "Well Hello there. Prey."
Something tink-tinked off the floor to roll at my feet. GRENADE! Training kicked in before I even realized the threat to try and leap away! But the grenade exploded into strands of sticky filaments. Spider Grenade. I have a split second to slap one hand over my tech belt before I am being wrapped up tight as the strands tighten as they dry to cocoon a target. My leap way turned into a fall, crashing into my table where I had been reaching for my gun.
It should have been claustrophobic. But all my time training in the tunnels made it feel just kinda cozy. My mind was crystal clear as I feel across my belt for what I need. Ah. There. Micro-Welder. I switch it on and cut my way out of the cocoon in two passes. The bird is reaching for me. I reach for my Rocket Pistol laying on the floor beside me. Who is faster? Her or me?
My hand falls upon the gun and I prove the faster reflex. I whip the gun around and up, pointing it at the alien and pull the trigger.
"Do you really think that little pop-gun will do you any good, prey? Now just give u-" and there is a soft hissing of the barrel's recoil flares followed by a *k-pok* as the rocket propelled shell slams into the chest. Far too short to get up to full speed. But enough to stagger her. *k-pok* *k-pok* Two more followup shots puff out to strike the alien. Anti-ballistic armor might reduce the effect. But you see rocket rounds tend to not care as much.
Blood was pouring out of three chest wounds. But the giant bird was still standing, breathing heavier, Eros was two G's heavier than their homenest. But she still very intent on capturing me as she reached for another Spider Grenade. I stepped to the back of my room to put distance so the shells could get closer to full speed. Again I proved faster and the Rocket Gun flared, coughed three times, and though two shots went wide in my rush, the third clipped her in the head, blowing off part of the helmet and visor. She crumpled dead at my feet.
I stood there breathing hard, hands shaking as it slammed home that I had killed someone. I felt sick inside. Then more screams outside broke me out of that and I knew what had to be done. I ejected the standard clip and slapped in the special ammo clip as I stepped out onto the street and into a nightmare. Towering figures were stalking through the streets either hunting prey, or carrying off neatly bundled up and still squirming catches.
Another bird sighted me and lobbed a grenade my way. I kicked it away just in time. "Just delaying the inevitable, food." another female chirped smugly as she charged me. I pointed the gun at her and fired 1-2-3. The first shot went wild and exploded off behind her somewhere. The second clipped her helmet and blew it completely off. Explosive rounds. Even more penetration vs anti-ballistic weave.
The third round... Oh god...
The third shot hit her squarely in the face... and blew her head off...
The body though... oh god... It keeps running towards me! Headless! Still running! It trips. Falls over right before me. Blood! Blood from the stump of a neck! Blood gushes over me! The wing hands grope and flail about, brushing against me in spastic motions! Touching me! Touching me!
I scream! and Scream! and SCREAM! and-
>>> Outer Colony - Cromen un Gytref <<<
>>> Supervision Patrol Carrier SN93 - Deck 40 <<<
>>> Frontier Standard Date: 15-02-104 <<<
Seren catapulted bolt upright in bed, drenched in sweat, heart pounding and breathing coming fast.
"Gods Above Seren?" gasped Eira in bed beside him, wide eyed at what she had just seen. Seren was breathing hard and his eyes were little pinpoints. He looked around as if unsure what was real and she drew him into her embrace. "It's not real hon! It's not real! I'm here Seren. You are ok. You are safe." she told him over and over. He clung to her desperately for a time, slowly calming down. He smelled as if he had just come out of the fight of his life. Pure survival instincts. Magnitudes worse than after the Jacklighters.
Eira got him out of bed and walked him into the shower and held him for a long time. Every muscle of his body was corded like steel cables under her paws. She had never seen him this tensed up and it worried her. She petted him and caressed him, whispering he was safe now. Gradually he came back to her.
For a time he just stood there and did not talk. Just held her and kissed her. Rested his head on her shoulder. Finally though he straightened up, composed himself. "thank you." he said quietly and she helped dry him off and walk him back to bed. They sat together quietly. She was patient. But worried. She called Heart and Scribes up to their room and the two avians were just as bewildered as to what happened.
The red feathered Xeno-Sociologist quickly determined this was some deep seated past trauma and he encouraged Eira to hold and reassure him. Scribes though seemed to sense what it was and knelt at the bedside and asked the Dynol softly. "Oh Seren. It was that horrible day wasn't it?"
Finally he recovered enough to nod to Scribes and talk. It all came spilling out. The raid on Eros all those years ago. Up till then he had never killed anyone. Then in the course of a few minutes he had gunned down two people. When the raid was over the rescue teams found him in the middle of a pile of ten bodies all felled by that gun of his. Five ripped open cocoons laying at his feet. Apparently he had triggered some sort of flocking instinct and they kept zeroing in on him.
Scribes though was floored by the more shocking part of Seren's recounting. "So you actually saw a Headless? I've only ever heard old horror stories of them from our medieval times. I mean sure medical class says it can happen. But..." she shuddered and then smiled as the human patted her reassuringly. Wasn't this supposed to be the other way around?
This Heart confirmed. "There are a feathers full of documented cases. Work accidents mostly. The part of our brains that controls autonomic functions extends a big down into the neck. Behead one of us just so and the body will move about for a time. Even keep functioning if the blood loss is not too severe. There was even one case where a murderer was killed by her own headless victim when the body got up and ran around, crashed into her and sent it and the killer out a window to plummet to their demise." He shuddered at that then continued. "As for the flocking. A sort of pack reaction we get when hunting. It can even drag in bystanders uninvolved with the hunt."
"Was not just me. Others too." The rescue medics that tried to tend to him had to approach him carefully as he was staring wild eyed everywhere at once, Rocked Gun swinging around like an automated turret. They finally were able to get him on a stretcher and off to a hospital. But even sedated they could not pry the XM-50 from his hand. "The few of us who fought back and survived became something of a rallying point. Half the remaining population was signing up for the rescue fleet within hours."
"So you signed up too?" asked Scribes.
He nodded. "I was fresh out of the Academy and got the Rocket and Starburst array hot-seat due to being qualified and right there." he laughed grimly. "The only reason more did not ship was lack of ships to put them on. And when the Vulpes-Vulpes, Conin, and Llygoden Fawr allied support streaked through to join the pursuit. Well some got positions on them as well."
Eira nodded. "History book stuff now. But the Aderyn sure shook a night-biter nest! I was still in training at the time and couldn't qualify to join." she pouted with a flick of her tail.
Scribes sat before the bed and reached out to the little Dynol tearfully. "Seren. I swear we never knew! And once we found out... you know what happened next."
Seren took her big hands in his and sighed. "What is done is done. We all have our ghosts that haunt us." He looked to Heart. "I have not had that particular nightmare in years. What triggered it now of all times?"
After some deliberation Heart spoke thoughtfully. "Possibly the fact our next sector we patrol after this tour will be your own people's. Dredging up old repressed memories in anticipation." He rested a red and black feather fingered wing-hand on Seren's reassuringly. "According to my records. You have not been back to Eros since the One Month War."
Scribes felt a pang of guilt at that. Indirectly, but through her actions, she had driven the small mammal from his nest.
The Dynol nodded. "Least I got my house repaired before leaving." He looked up at the saddened avians and shrugged. "I am feeling better now though. Thank you for dashing to my rescue." he thanked them with notable embarrassment. "Can we though talk about something else? Like ohhhhh. What a funky dancer Big Red here is?" he teased.
"Seren! No fair deflecting the conversation onto me!" admonished the red feathered avian.
Seren grinned impishly. "All's fair in love and war they say."
"That would be reassuring, IF I could tell which you were waging."
Eira churrred in mirth. "I think Stick treated it as both." She made some Conin boxing moves between making kissy-kissy sounds.
Scribes chirped laughter as well. "We just had to punt you back into play whenever you tried to escape."
Heart was again glad he could not blush like a mammal Though his tail feathers clicking together gave him away.. "I was not trying to escape! I was-"
"-looking for another table." finished Seren knowingly. "Then you started getting into the beat and boom BOOM Boogie Birdie!" Commented the human as he did a strange little sitting dance oddly similar to Aderyn dances. "Obviously enticed by Stick's lovely-"
"TAIL!" Heart finished for the Dynol in shame.
"Yes yes. Tail. Swaying. Rolling. Gyrating. Wiggling. Jiggling."
The Xeno-Social expert could feel his heat rising and his feathers starting to fluff at this merciless teasing. He could not even deny the insidious little pest was right. And a broad grin graced his beak in appreciation for the simple fact that the human was playing with him. Welcoming him into the ever growing circle of friends as Heart, and nothing more. "Very wiggly jiggly." he admitted under his breath.
Stick had led him into the dance hall and selected some music from the homenest and started to strut about, slide around and around him in ever closer spirals. Seren and Scribes made sure his exit paths were blocked and Stick herself was intent on drawing him into her performance. The fighter Ace pushed him into the center stage and ramped up her performance and he felt his heat begin to rise. Without even noticing, he started to dance with her. He started off simple, calling back to the days he had fancied himself a performance dancer. Dreams crushed by negative reviews. But he had not lost his knack even so many years later.
Stick's eyes lit up as he started to get into the swing soon the two were whirling around the dance hall in increasingly close and personal patterns. The grey female was getting ever more excited as the dance increased in complexity and Heart proved more than a match to her agility.
"This Swing or is this Riverdancing?" had commented Seren as he danced with Eira away from the talons of oversized birds with eyes only for each-other.
Scribes had cackled as she watched the two. "Well that particular dance is from the river wader tribe. It's even more impressive when you are up to your knees in water." she had explained for the two mammals. "I knew Heart was a failed artist. But coooo! Look at him go! He could out dance Spinner, and he dances so sweetly." she observed.
The dance had ended with Stick leading him off for some "private dancing" and the rest of the day was off the records.
Back in the present Heart grinned even more. "Mister Seren. I shudder to think of what mayhem you might get up to if you ever delved into actual Xeno-Social studies."
-<>-
The leg of the tour ended and the Cozi Mari was readied for the fold out to the next leg of the tour, this one out to the joint Llygoden Fawr and Bakeneko colony. The trip out to a safe fold point was two days and then two more in deceleration once defolded and inbound for the colony. The stay was to be shorter than normal as the colony was very close to the Felis Sector core world and well defended. Seren and Eira opted to waive their shore leave so others could get some planetside time in. Though they did plan to visit the orbital station to do a little shopping.
At one point one G the gravity was slightly more than the original feline alien colonists had preferred and so were happy to share the planet with the rodents who were more comfortable in such an environment. Other than the gravity the planet was fairly safe, though a bit on the cooler side.
>>> Outer Colony - Unity of Paws <<<
>>> Supervision Patrol Carrier SN93 - Deck 40 <<<
>>> Frontier Standard Date: 32-02-104 <<<
On arrival Seren was able to collect on his last trade deal and distributed the earnings amongst those that contributed. "Ok. Let us see what this colony has to offer, or needs." he said as Eira and himself lounged in their cabin. The plan was to head down to the commissary and eat with the others off shift and get an idea of who wanted in on anything the Systems Tech happened to lock onto this time.
Eira was finishing up some code upgrades for security and then joined him. She stood behind the Dynol with her chin resting on top of his head and her paws on his shoulders as she watched him perform is magic. "This colony is mostly asteroid mining so I bet you will find mostly that here." she noted.
"Right you are. And oooh. Jackpot as it were. A cargo of platinum in need of a place to go." He traced a few starlanes with a finger. One stopped on the Bakeneko homeworld. "Well that is close. This is hazard cargo so a short fold means less chance for any trouble. At eighty-thousand a load and a hull class eight Hauler headed that way. We could load up and see a net profit of over three-hundred thousand credits total. Split however many opt in."
"Im in! What are they needing so much platinum for in the homeworld though." questioned Eira.
Seren tapped in a few inquiries and read it off. "Electronics mostly. Starships in particular. Sensor arrays use alot of platinum." He tapped in the order and finalized it. "Lets head down and see who wants in on this one." And so they grabbed a lift down to the Commissary deck and found a table. Not long later they were joined by the Captain and Spinner.
Nor perked up at the mention of platinum and opted in for a fourth of the haul. "Once again your nose for cargo surprises me. I agree it is a cargo that can attract unscrupulous individuals. But the Hauler you selected is well armed and has done hazard hauls before."
Spinner was intrigued as well and opted in for a quarter. Thus the profits would be split four ways. Seren ran the numbers. "That will be a projected profit of eighty-thousand credits each, on top of making back expenses as usual."
The big red fox grinned on hearing that. "Seren. You have increased my holdings substantially and directly contributed to the betterment of the Cinci Cozi Mari." He pulled from a belt pocket some notes. "I have been running your proposal past our Chief Engineer and he thinks your modification ideas are sound and will not compromise the structural integrity. If your friends are still willing... I am more than happy to forward this to Latitude Zero and schedule the changes."
The Systems Tech smiled at that news. "That will be at the end of the year. If we time things right then we can pick up our new members and integrate them into the crew as part of their Pax Academy training. Same time as you and I are doing our rank upgrades finally. The whole "auction" incident advanced my ranking quite a bit and I'll probably hit Force Commander by years end."
This got Nor's tail sweeping in pride to hear his Dynol was moving up the Supervision ranks. "We will make an Admiral of you yet little one."
"I would have been happy if reaching just Force Commander had taken a few years."
Captain Nor grinned toothily. "The Skein of Fate has you thoroughly in her embrace my friend." he swept his tail in a broad arc. "And the starlanes are better for it."
-<>-
Scanner was down on the mainframe decks doing a software update on the main sensors and carrying a stack of reinforced military program pates in her arms as she walked around the deck while thinking of a certain Dynol today. Ever since his return from the rodent homeden she had been trying to get a feel of the new Systems Tech since he was a phenomena active like herself. She was loath to admit it, but he fascinated her in his uncanny ability to slip around her extended senses practically unnoticed. She had been deeply touched by his inviting her into the carnival antics, harrowing as that roller coaster thing had been...
So far she had only gotten fleeting glimpses of his transformation phenomena and really wanted to see more of the ghostly rat. She could sense him change, but soon after he would fade from her detection and she had still not been able to pin down the why of it. Eira sometimes vanished from her field of awareness as well. But not like Seren could. She wanted to ask. But her insecurity about her power had so far kept her quiet on the matter other than reporting her findings to the Captain. He had waived off her embarrassment at having her expression ghosted and focused more on what she -could- sense.
Sometimes she could -feel- him in the tunnels behind the walls. This was strongest when he was with Eira. She envied such a strong bond and such dynamic personalities. If only she could-
*BWOMPH!*
She had walked right into something and tripped? She righted her glasses on her nose and looked under herself at what was squirming... Squirming? "Oh my!"
The little tunnel runner was squashed under her deep grey body. "smrmph..."
She practically did a backflip off him and sat kneeling on the floor with her cheeks burning in shame. "Aie! P-p-P-please forgive me!" she begged, lowering her head to the floor.
She was surprised when the Dynol just got up and patted her on the head. "Nothing damaged. Other than my pride." he grinned at her and then was moving about collecting her program plates before she could even react. "By fault for popping out of an access panel and not looking. You ok? You took a bigger tumble than I?"
The tall grey feline covered her mouth with a paw to stifle a giggle at the sight of the Systems Tech now carrying around a stack as big as he was. "I am fine. Thank you for your concern mister Seren." She tried to retrieve the plates, but the Systems Tech was already meandering down the hall in the direction she had been heading. "Left here. No! My left - Not your left! Watch out for the- never mind... Turn this way. No no! The other this way!"
Seren helped her install the plates and finished up his tasks on this level. "Just cross checking some circuits to make sure no stray particles have tripped anything that should not."
Scanner nodded, the unending task of the techs to repair cosmic radiation damage to any vessel's electronics. Thank you for your assistance and diligence. And again. My humble apologies for tripping over you."
Seren gave her a polite little salute. "Well it was at least a pleasant sea of green to be flattened under."
Scanner froze in place. "g-g-green?"
The small Dynol looked up at her quizzically. "Well Grey-Green right?"
Mirage felt cold as she comprehended in that moment that Seren could see through her disguise...
<<<<><<<<><<<<>>
2022.11.05 23:08 princesslucian [OI NaNoWriMo] A Peony's Devotion
Hello all! It's been a while! I'm going to be super busy this month and I've been fighting writer's block, so I don't know if I'm going to be able to participate as much as last year. I am once again writing an original story. This story is a different one from last year (I've been struggling with plot for No Regrets :(((( ), but I hope people are able to enjoy this as well! The title is a work in progress, totally up for suggestions!
I hope you all enjoy!
---
the year of 1299
The man who owns Tyran’s News comes into work at the crack of dawn. He yawns as he puts up his hat and coat, trying to remember which reporter was working last night because the door was left unlocked. He’ll find them later, he thinks, and steps into the main room. He’ll give them a stern –…
His thoughts pause midsentence as he takes in what is sitting on top of the printing press.
A letter.
A letter closed with purple wax and a large and ornate T.
The man opens the letter, reads it, and swears softly under his breath.
---
TYRAN’S NEWS
SPECIAL EDITION
When Justice Lies
I doubt there is a single citizen of this empire who has not heard of Earl Burns and his green eyes that strike fear into the heart of all who would dare cross him. Everyone has heard of his strict code of conduct, and his moral and upstanding personality. Everyone likens Earl Burns to the next coming of Commander Blackwood.
Why do I speak now of him, you must be asking. Allow me to illuminate.
Imagine now, Earl Burns’ large and sprawling countryside manor. Walking through those beautiful halls, past after portrait and portrait of Burns Patriarchs.
Once you come to the end of the hall, you will notice that you are staring up at the founder of the Burns family, the family’s famed emerald eyes staring down at you. Anyone who has ever had the opportunity to visit the Earl’s manor will know of this painting, for they all have been dared or daring enough to stare Tiberion Burns down. A rite of passage almost.
Along the left edge of the painting, there is a switch that allows the portrait to swing open into the hall, revealing stairs downwards.
It is dark down at the bottom of these stairs. It is the sort of darkness that messes with your brain, the type where you wonder if light even existed and wasn’t just a hallucination your addled mind came up with. There are no windows here, no exits save the stairs you just came down.
Strike a match and you reveal the truth.
This is a prison with five cramped cells, each with its very own prisoner.
You will notice that all prisoners are shackled to the wall with a collar around their necks.
You will notice that all prisoners are less than twenty years of age.
You will notice the slave brand burned into their chest.
And then you will notice the blood. It covers every inch of their bodies, it coats the floor beneath them, it drips off the weapons off the wall.
Earl Burns pretends to be a righteous man, pretends to believe in justice above all else, pretends that his hands are free of sin.
For the last three years, Earl Burns has been abducting Reinilian citizens and torturing them for his bloody amusement. He first breaks their spirits with pain and then forces them to fight for his amusement, promising the victor their freedom. The Earl keeps his promise, letting the slave run from his manor.
Then he releases those famed hunting hounds of his.
Earl Abraham Burns has murdered 43 Reinilians over the past two years for nothing more than the thrill of the hunt.
I know that you must doubt this, reader, and are asking yourself many questions in an attempt to organize your chaotic thoughts.
Is this man you have trusted to protect us? Is this the man you wanted your children to grow up to be? Is this really the man you trusted?
Unequivocally.
The evidence is damning.
And Abraham?
Run if you want, if you’re scared.
Justice will get you in the end.
Lady Tisdale
---
the year of 1285
She becomes aware of her surroundings in the space of a breath, memories, sensations, and thoughts rushing into her all at once.
She feels the sting of pain from where she dropped to her knees and that anchors her as some approaches her.
Their thoughts ring loudly in her mind.
:What happened? Did she seriously trip over nothing?:
Blinking away tears, she can see a maid kneel next to her.
“Are you alright?” the maid asks, and now she has a face for that thought.
She stares, tongue numb in her mouth.
:Why is she staring at me like that? It’s creepy. Did she hit her head?: says the maid’s mind, and with her mouth ,she says, “Are you hurt anywhere milady?”
She shakes her head, wanting to get away from this maid.
“I’m glad,” the maid says and smiles. :I can get back to relaxing now.:
The maid walks away, her mind preoccupied with a boy she had met in town.
The girl is left alone and made the unfortunate decision to look down. She stares at her hands as icy shock runs down her spine. These hands can’t be hers, they were far too small; it didn’t make sense.
The last thing she could remember is her brother’s screams.
But, overlapping with memories of pain and fire, is the memories of walking with unsure steps.
She stares at her feet, which are clad in delicate-looking shoes and ribbons that loop up her leg. They look impractical, like the type of shoes that dolls or ballet dancers wear.
Or, perhaps, they are the type of shoes that children wear.
She is glad that she was already on the ground or else she feels as if she would fall again. Pain pulses through her head and she presses gently against the spot between her eyebrows to try and fend off the headache.
She would have to just start with what she remembered, and then move from there.
---
the year of XXXX
Her name was Lydia and she liked to call herself twenty-one years young, something she had unfortunately picked up from her younger brother. He had teased her so much about her style is like an old lady’s and tried to mock her by speaking like an old person. He did it so much that she started unconsciously and unironically started speaking like that.
Her brother had nearly pissed himself laughing the first time she had said that to someone when they asked for her age, and she rightly smacked him upside the head… or at least she tried to hit him, but he was too quick and wily, and her missing only made him laugh even harder.
It was her last summer break before she graduated undergrad, and she was headed downstairs in search of some sort of sustenance around midnight. She froze when she reached the edge of the stairs and saw a picture of some random hot anime guy on their living room TV. Her brother whipped his head towards her, his face frozen in horror as the timer ticked down on the screen. It appeared he had to pick some sort of dialogue to get five hearts and he was currently at 4.5.
The only thing Lydia heard was,
:Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. No one’s supposed to be up.:
There was also something that should be mentioned now, something that some may say is rather important but Lydia didn’t ever talk about it and would rather just avoid the topic forever.
Lydia could read minds. It was mostly surface-level thoughts, but around crowds it was overwhelming and gave her headaches. If she really wanted to, she could probably crack open someone’s head and peruse through all their deepest secrets, but that would leave her in pain for a week. It wasn’t like it was a normal thing in her world for someone to casually have telepathy, so she kept it a secret from all others. She didn’t like using the information she got from other people’s thoughts but knew that sometimes it made conversations so much easier
So, when she looked at her brother and heard his panicking thoughts, it was normal and she knew what to do. She smiled and sat next to him, knowing just what to say to keep him happy and occupied. After a few prods, everything spilled out.
She was vaguely aware of something called Heaven’s Delight swirling through her brother’s mind this summer, but she had thought it was some sort of lewd MMO and didn’t really want to have that conversation with her brother. It turned out that it was apparently the name of a game adaptation of a romance novel called Heaven’s Temptation. Her brother had become obsessed with this series since she had last talked with him. He read the original novels religiously and played the game with the same intensity to find all the hidden lore and content that hadn’t been in the books. He had been sneaking down each night to play on the big screen since their parents conked out at eight.
Her brother looked so shy after talking, like he expected her to judge him. All she could do was ruffle his hair and ask what happened if he didn’t get five hearts for this event, since the timer was at five seconds. He yelped and picked in a blind panic, then sank with relief when it turned out to be the right answer.
They bonded that summer over the secret, and she was glad for it, even if still knew next to nothing about the story save the random trivia her brother had decided was the most important for her to know.
She had been afraid that after college they would grow apart, but this set her mind at ease, as she made her brother laugh after calling that random anime boy seventeen years-young.
She was ready to drive back to college and was saying her last goodbyes to her family. Her brother’s hug made her bones creak but she graciously said nothing because of the steady, :Don’t leave, I’ll miss you,: that played on repeat in his mind.
The drive went fine for the first twenty minutes as Lydia hummed along to music as she manage city traffic.
Then it all went wrong.
A semi-truck took a curve too wide, clipping another car that was going straight. That car went spinning, crashing into another, and then the next car slammed into the back of the wreck, and then –
(When she saw the semi start to take the curve too widely, she found herself picking up her phone and dialing her brother without even looking at it.)
– another car went careening and slammed right into the driver side of her car. A jolt went though her body as the airbag hit her face and she felt something snap in her nose. Then the car door crumpled, pinning her body to the seats. And then a second car hit the pileup, and the door dug in further into her body.
Distantly she could her brother asking why she called.
Another car hit.
Her brother asked her what’s wrong.
Metal dug into her chest and her breathing felt oddly wet.
A car had apparently missed the initial accident but the driver lost control somewhere along the way and slammed into the front of her car.
Her brother asked –
---
in the year of 1285
She felt like puking. Or crying. Or screaming. Or all three at once.
She struggles to her feet, falls over twice, and just crawls to a mirror. Wisps of pearl blonde hair curdled around tiny ears as a child’s face stares back at her.
Memories, blurred and hard to focus on, are pulled to the front of her now smaller mind. She sorts through the confusion and tries to figure out what she could learn from them.
Her name in this new… body is Amirah and she was five years old. She had a twin sister. She didn’t have a mother and her father loved her.
The reason she remembers her, well, past life now, is because her telepathy suddenly kicked on and her tiny child brain just about melted from the onslaught of new sensations. Her past memories emerged in order to protect her from going brain dead.
She closes her eyes and breathes in deeply for a few moments, trying to make sense of everything.
Lydia had died. It was hard to deny that, but still. Even if was selfish of her, she wishes that it hadn’t happened because she wasn’t ready yet. She had her whole life ahead of her, and her brother –
Tears sting her eyes, bubbling over and forcing her to open them. She stared at stupid purple eyes that weren’t hers and it made her cry harder.
It isn’t fair what she did to her brother, forcing him to listen to her die. Selfish till the end, Lydia was. Selfish in wanting to hear her brother’s voice one last time, selfish still that she wishes he was here with her.
She pauses in that thought.
Her brother isn’t here, and she hopes he never will be and that he lives a long and happy life. Her brother isn’t here, but she has a sister now and that will have to do because she needs a hug like she needs air to breathe.
She rubs at her eyes and leaves her room, trusting her hazy memory that her sister was in the next room.
What could only be her sister Zoë is sitting and reading quietly when she walks in. Zoë looks up with surprise when she closes the door softly behind her.
“Amirah, what are you doing?” Zoë says, closing her book. :Is something wrong?:
“I missed you,” she said and walks straight to Zoë.
“What?”
She wraps her arms around Zoë and her fragile self-control shatters. She starts to sob, unable to hold it back anymore.
“Amirah, what, how–”
“Please just hold me,” she whispers.
Zoë quiets down and does just that.
:How can I help her feel better? Do I need to pat her back? Should I rub it?:
She can’t help the smile that forms at that thought. She swears to herself right then and there, that she will love Zoë more than anything else in this new world. Zoë isn’t her brother nor his replacement, but she thinks that Zoë will make her just as happy as he did.
---
Amirah spends the next few days getting to know Zoë and slowly getting used to her new name. It is strange and every time she’s called that it feels like she’s wearing too tight clothes that make it hard to breathe. She feels like that every time except when Zoë says it.
Zoë is a quiet child, Amirah finds. She is more reserved than most five year-olds, and would happily spend all day reading books if she was allowed. Zoë doesn’t whine or beg, and never seems to want anything. Her thoughts always match her words, and that is something that is very rare.
Amirah finds herself coming to love Zoë faster than she thought she would. It’s the little things, the way that Zoë so obviously cares about her so much. Half the thoughts that Zoë has are of Amirah, and most of those thoughts are focused on how to make her happy. It’s flattering but at the same time Amirah wants Zoë to be more like a child.
So, one week after Amirah wakes up in her new body, she knocks at Zoë’s door right before bedtime.
“What are you doing here, Amirah?” Zoë asks, eyes wide and staring at the pillow Amirah clutches.
“I want to sleep with you,” Amirah says.
Zoë says nothing. :Is this allowed? Will we get in trouble?:
Amirah knows she should be above manipulation, but she bats her eyes at her sister and says, “Pleaaaaase, Zoë! I’ll be good, I swear!”
That breaks Zoë and she opens the door, quickly closing it behind Amirah.
Amirah hops onto Zoë’s bed and pats the place next to her until Zoë sits. Amirah smiles at the tentative way Zoë moves and the confusion stewing in her mind.
“I want to tell you a bedtime story,” Amirah says, pushing Zoë gently to make her lie down.
“A bedtime story?”
“Yup,” Amirah says, brushing back some of Zoë’s hair. “I promise it’s a good one.”
Zoë chews on her lip. :This is the first time someone’s telling me a bedtime story.:
Before Amirah could process that sudden tragic thought, Zoë’s beaming up at Amirah.
“I’m sure it’ll be wonderful,” Zoë says. :I’m glad Amirah’s telling me a bedtime story.:
Amirah takes a moment to recompose herself, and then smiles as wide as she can.
“Once upon a time, there lived a princess known throughout the land for her kindness. This princess’s name was Zoë.”
Zoë’s jaw dropped. “She has the same name I do,” she whispers, then looks ashamed of interrupting.
“It’s a beautiful name,” Amirah sniffs, “and there should be more beautiful names in the world.”
Zoë is a captive audience, and Amirah loves the way wonder sparkles in her eyes. Amirah spins the tale of the Princess and the Frog into a magical adventure, ad-libbing to make it more exciting. Zoë gasps when a dragon appears and wishes to eat the frog companion, and then sinks with relief when Princess Zoë outsmarts the dragon into thinking the frog was somewhere across the kingdom.
By the end of Amirah’s tale, Zoë’s eyes are drooping but her smile never wavers.
“And then Princess Zoë lives happily ever after,” Amirah says, reaching over to tug the blanket higher on Zoë. Zoë valiantly tries to wake up, but Amirah simply leans over and presses a kiss into her forehead, before crawling under the blanket with her.
“I really liked it,” Zoë whispers. :I want you to tell me another one.:
“I can tell you one tomorrow,” Amirah whispers back, squeezing Zoë’s hand. Zoë’s answering smile is something that Amirah will treasure.
Amirah wants Zoë to always smile like that.
---
Amirah tries her best to introduce Zoë to as many of her favorite activities she can. Zoë is initially disapproving of pillow fights but quickly changes her mind after she gets the satisfaction of nailing Amirah directly in the face. Zoë’s giddy laugh is music to Amirah’s ears.
She learns that Zoë loves oranges and would eat them by the basketful if allowed, not caring of how her fingers grew sticky from peeling them.
She also notices Zoë’s hands are frequently sticky. Her sister often absentmindedly steals random things. Amirah can find no pattern in what Zoë takes, nor any indication in her thoughts that she was about to steal something, only that Zoë has a small collection in her room of the various things she snatched.
“Why do you do that?” Amirah asks one day after an especially egregious theft. Zoë pauses where she is reaching for a candelabra and turns to Amirah.
“Do what?” she says even as she wraps her sticky little fingers around the candelabra and brings it to her chest. Zoë’s lucky the candles were unlit with how close her black hair gets to the candle.
“Take things.”
Zoë looks genuinely surprised at that.
“I…I don’t know,” Zoë says, and that rings true in her mind. “I just… do?”
Amirah considers that for a moment, especially since Zoë didn’t appear to be lying. Well, if Amirah was asked how she could read minds, she’d probably have a similar answer, so she accepts Zoë’s explanation with a nod, and they continue down the hallway with Zoë’s ill-gotten gains.
---
Amirah doesn’t get to meet her new father until a month after she awakens. All she has is fuzzy memories of a man who doted on her, and the impression of a smile. She assumes that he’s a doting father, and almost looks forward to it.
But when a maid announces that the lord is returning while leading them to the front door and Zoë goes pale and retreats into her shell, Amirah knows that her assumption must be very, very wrong.
:Is he going to yell at me again?: All laughter and happiness is gone from Zoë’s mind. Amirah has just enough time to process what she just heard when the door opens.
A tall man stands there, and it matches the memories of her father, of a man called Yarin. He takes off his hat and hands it off to a servant before walking towards them with one thought ringing clearly in his mind, :Amirah is always so cute. I’m glad to be home.:
He only has eyes for her, and that makes Amirah hate him a little when Zoë’s face so clearly falls. He pulls Amirah into a hug while she’s processing, and says, “Did you miss daddy as much as he missed you?”
Amirah has never really known when to watch her mouth.
She squirms out of his arms and clutches Zoë’s arm instead, who instinctively reaches back, being so used to Amirah’s touchiness after a month.
“Uh-uh.” Amirah shakes her head. “I had Zoë to play with.”
For a moment her father’s mind is completely blank. For that moment, Amirah hopes that he is a better man than he is.
He draws himself to his full height and stares down at Zoë, who stands frozen. :Please don’t yell at me daddy,: Zoë’s mind begs, :Please love me daddy.:
“Let go of Amirah. Don’t you have any decency?”
Their father’s voice is harsh and pointed and Zoë pulls away with a, “Yes, Father.”
“I grabbed her first!” Amirah tries to pull some of the ire to her, but she only grows sickened when their father’s features soften instead.
“Zoë should know better,” he says, as if Zoë wasn’t a five-year-old.
Amirah is speechless at the audacity of this man and the difference of which her treats them. As she stares at him, he seems to take it as childish anger.
“Are you mad I was gone for so long?” He squats and pats her head. “Don’t worry, I’ll make sure to spend lots of time now that I’m home.”
---
And he certainly tries to do just that, but Amirah avoids him as much as she can. He seeks her out, but Amirah has taken to exploring all corners of the mansion with Zoë, trying to find the most tucked away spots to hide in.
It’s like all the light and joy was sucked out of Zoë the moment their father came home. The only time Amirah can get her to smile anymore is during their bedtime tales. Zoë never tells Amirah no when she asks to spend time together, but she’s quiet the whole time and her thoughts are focused on her apparent flaws. Amirah hasn’t been able to figure out a way to comfort Zoë yet, and she hates that.
“Don’t you want to spend time with Father?” Zoë asks quietly a week after Amirah started avoiding their father. :Why don’t you spend time with him when he loves you?:
“I’m good with just you Zoë!” Amirah says as she turns to Zoë, wishing that she could make her forget about their father’s lack of affection. “I love you sooooo much!”
Zoë almost smiles just as Amirah hears, :Where on earth has Amirah gotten off to?: and ice runs down her spine.
Amirah whips around just in time to see Yarin turning a corner.
The moment he sees Amirah, his irritation fades into a smile, and she hates it, especially when Zoe’s face fades into neutrality.
“Amirah, it seems that I never get to see you anymore,” her father chides, and reaches to ruffle her hair. Amirah pulls back, moving towards Zoë. Yarin’s follows the movement to Zoë and his face twists into something hateful.
“Zoë.” The way he says her name is like how other people discuss maggots. “It appears that while I was gone, you’ve convinced your sister to waste time with you.”
“She hasn’t!” Amirah says, putting herself between them.
“There’s no need to protect a troublemaker like her, Amirah,” Yarin says, though his voice softens with something disgusting like love. He glances at Zoë and thinks, :Should I just send her off to the covenant? They’d whip her into shape.:
Amirah thinks she finally understands just how people can want to murder someone. Anger bubbles up within her, coating every thought and souring all memories she has of this man, and she wishes she was taller so she could reach his neck and squeeze. Amirah’s anger is a wet type of anger that makes her throat thicken and words are harder to form, because all she wants to do is scream and cry at the unfairness of the world.
But she knows she can’t do that, even if she wants to.
“If Zoë has to leave, I’ll leave too!” Amirah screams, clutching Zoë’s arm and baring her teeth up at Yarin.
“Calm yourself, Amirah.” Amirah gives that pathetic attempt the exact amount of recognition it deserves, which is none. She steps away from him, pulling Zoë with her.
Yarin’s mouth flattens into a thin line. “Zoë’s obviously a bad influence if she’s made you change this much.”
“If you make Zoë leave, I’ll hate you forever,” Amirah hisses and enjoys the way his thoughts freeze in shock.
“Don’t make threats you don’t mean,” Yarin eventually says softly.
“But I do mean it,” Amirah says, “Zoë’s my favorite person and I want to live with her for the rest of my life.”
Yarin’s jaw tightens as he stares at Zoë again.
:Why must this child keep ruining everything good in my life? First, she takes my wife from me, and now she takes my daughter from me as well.:
Amirah opens her mouth but pauses when she hears Zoë think, :I must be a bad girl. I made Amirah waste her time that she could spend with daddy.:
Amirah needs to end this conversation now before Zoë internalizes anymore of Yarin’s poisonous words.
“I miss mommy,” Amirah blurts out and starts to cry, shocking both of them. Yarin’s anger immediately dissolves and he comes forward to soothe her. Amirah refuses to let go of Zoë, and stares at Yarin until he wraps his arms around them both.
Amirah tries not to think about how this is the first time Zoë can remember their father showing her affection.
---
After that unfortunate encounter, Yarin apparently believed that Amirah needed something that wasn’t Zoë to keep her attention and informs her over breakfast that he hired a tutor for her.
“What about Zoë?” Amirah asks pointedly. Zoë looks surprised at being mentioned in the conversation, and Amirah hates Yarin a little more.
“This is a tutor just for you–” is all he gets out before Amirah throws the biggest tantrum she can. She thinks, what is the worst thing I could do in Yarin’s eyes, and then does just that. She knocks over her glass, spilling orange juice all over the tablecloth towards Yarin’s seat. She starts to cry that daddy is unfair, that she hates daddy, that daddy is the worst person in the world.
---
And, so, they both now have daily lessons with their brand-new tutor.
On the first day, they both show up early. Zoë has her desk organized, all her pens stacked in a neat line on the right side of the desk, and today’s date written neatly in the top corner of her paper. In contrast, Amirah has a blank paper and one pencil in front of her.
Amirah doesn’t expect to enjoy these lessons, but she knows that Zoë has been mentally vibrating with excitement since yesterday.
The teacher is an older fellow, introducing himself as Professor White, and then gets right into their lessons. The first few days are focused on testing their current skills, in which Zoë blows her out of the water. Amirah is lucky that somehow this new world’s language is one she understands how to read, but writing is a whole different ball game. Her hands aren’t used to holding a pencil and her letters come out far too wiggly.
Professor White’s class are dry, and his thoughts are always focused on the material, but Zoë loves them enough that Amirah begrudgingly enjoys them as well. Amirah knows that she’s only understanding what Professor White is teaching because she has a lifetime of attending public school to fall back on. So, when Zoë is able to keep up with the lessons with no problems and total comprehension of all the subjects, Amirah realizes that Zoë must be a genius. No other five-year-old that Amirah has ever met willingly took notes, understood multiplication and division after the first lesson, and spent their free time studying.
---
If Amirah could, she’d be early every morning for lessons with Zoë but Yarin keeps trying to demand her attention instead. He does it sneakily, having a maid dress Amirah up and then bring her to where Yarin is waiting.
The table is covered in sweets and Amirah hates the sight of them when Yarin smiles knowingly and thinks, :Now this should keep her attention.:
Instead of following his wishes, Amirah sighs loudly and droops in her chair.
“What’s wrong dear?” Yarin asks. Amirah looks longingly towards the door and sighs again. “I can’t help you if you don’t tell me anything.”
“I wish Zoë was here,” Amirah pouts. “She would love to eat this too.”
Yarin’s smile tightens. “These sweets are for good children.” :Not like her.:
“But Zoë is a good child!” Amirah says, batting her eyes innocently. “She’s always so nice and helpful to me.”
Yarin says nothing.
---
It’s been two weeks since their lessons started, and Amirah is starting to regret taking them. Zoë is always so busy now, always having to do homework or wanting to stay after class with Professor White. Her thoughts are focused on being a good student, and Amirah doesn’t want to take her away from something she enjoys, so Amirah chews on her lip and accepts it. This unfortunately meant that Yarin could steal Amirah away more often because she couldn’t use Zoë as an excuse not to go. It was a little amusing to watch Yarin squirm when Amirah spends the entire time talking about Zoë and how cool she was.
Zoë asked to sleep alone tonight after class was over, and Amirah can’t fault her sister for wanting privacy. But Amirah isn’t used to sleeping alone anymore and finds herself staring at her ceiling close to midnight.
Idly, she tries to listen for whatever thoughts she can hear. Amirah’s found that since waking up, her range for telepathy had become larger and that she could reliably hear people’s thoughts from over a hundred feet away.
Amirah closes her eyes and reaches out.
:I hate working the night shift.:
:What should I eat for breakfast tomorrow?:
:I don’t want to be alone, but I have to be. I deserve it.:
Amirah throws off her blanket and is moving towards the door before she even realizes it’s Zoë’s thoughts she’s listening to. Amirah waits for the butler’s thoughts to leave her range before sneaking out of her room.
Amirah knocks quietly, not wanting to draw the butler back with noise.
“Zoë, it’s me,” Amirah whispers, “please open the door.”
:Amirah should stay far away from me.:
“Zoë, please.”
:I want to open the door.:
Then open it, Amirah thinks, but bites it down before she can say it. Instead, she takes a breath to calm herself and says, “I love you.”
For a moment there are thoughts that Amirah can hear, and then the door opens.
Zoë stands there and she looks wretched. Her eyes are puffy and red, her nose is running, and tears tracks stain her cheeks. Amirah rushes forward, pulling Zoë into a hug.
“I’m here now,” Amirah whispers, her fingers gripping the back of Zoë’s nightdress desperately, “and I’m never leaving your side.”
Zoë bursts into sobs and Amirah awkwardly shuffles them towards the bed, closing the door with her foot. Amirah holds Zoë for as long as she needs, trying her best to not listen to Zoë’s beratement of herself. Listening to a child cry is one of the hardest things a person will have to go through, and when you care for that child, it makes everything worse.
When Zoë’s sobs have subsided, Amirah asks, “What’s wrong?”
:I’m bothering Amirah again,: Zoë thinks, not meeting Amirah’s eyes. :Professor White is right, I’m nothing but a useless thing.:
Anger crystalizes in Amirah’s veins, anger towards Professor White for saying that to a child, and then anger towards herself because how could she not have noticed this? What’s the use of telepathy is she can’t even detect when someone is bullying her sister?
But being angry won’t help Zoë.
“You know,” Amirah says, leaning into Zoë’s space and resting her head against Zoë’s shoulder, “I don’t think I’ve ever told you directly how cool you are.”
Zoë jerks but not so much that Amirah is dislodged.
“You always talk so politely,” Amirah continues as if she can’t feel Zoë’s burning gaze. “It’s so cool, it’s like you’re already a proper adult. And you always study so hard and for so long. You’re just sooo smart, Zoë, you know that right?”
:Why… shouldn’t she be jealous?:
“I’m so proud of how good you’re doing! At least one of us needs to be smart, and I know it’s not going to be me, so thank you for taking up that burden.”
:She’s proud of me?: “And do you want to know a secret?” Amirah whispers, turning towards Zoë and taking her hand. “I love you more than anybody else in this world. No matter what happens, no matter what you do or say, no matter what anyone else says, I’m always going to be on your side. Even if it’s us against the world.”
Zoë’s grip on Amirah’s hand tightens almost painfully, but Amirah says nothing, letting Zoë process her emotions.
“Professor White says that I’m a know-it-all,” Zoë confesses, words barely audible. “That no body loves know-it-alls and that you have me for being smarter than you. Being smart is useless when you’re not pretty.”
Amirah is, once again, contemplating murdering a man but anger helps no one at this time. She breathes slowly, then hugs Zoë.
“There is nothing wrong with being a smart girl,” Amirah says, “and I could never hate you. Professor White is lying to you.”
“But why would he lie?” Zoë whispers. :Everything else he’s said is true.:
“Because he’s decided to be… a mean man,” Amirah says, amending her word choice last second. It wouldn’t do to expose Zoë to those sorts of words at this age. “He wanted to hurt you, so he lied to you.”
And Amirah is sure that if she tore through Professor White’s mind, she’d find some sort of order from Yarin to treat Zoë differently, and if she didn’t stop thinking about this, Amirah was about to have a murder fully planned out by morning.
Zoë begins to cry again, and she cries herself to sleep.
Amirah stares at ceiling and begins planning for the day she can take Zoë away from this house.
---
The next day in class, Amirah comes in early with Zoë and stares daggers at Professor White, who seems slightly taken aback by that.
:Did she not like her homework yesterday?: Professor White mused with a raised eyebrow.
Amirah imagines kicking him between the legs and revealing in his pain, and tries to put that into her smile. He looks away and starts the lesson. Today was a math lesson and he hands them both sheets to go through.
Zoë hesitates before solving the first question and Amirah makes sure to write very slowly.
“Woah!” Amirah says after Zoë finished the problem. “You’re so smart! You finished that so quickly!”
Zoë flushes but can’t hide her shy smile. Professor White is not nearly as pleased.
“Focus on your own work, Miss Amirah,” Professor White says, tapping on her paper. He turns to Zoë and says, “Don’t grow arrogant from finishing just one problem.”
“But is it arrogance if it’s true?” Amirah asks, tilting her head like she doesn’t understand. “Isn’t Zoë like totally smart? She reads all sorts of books I don’t understand, and that’s so cool.”
Amirah grins meanly at the way Professor White frowns. :Why is she talking about this? She doesn’t normally speak up in class.:
“Aren’t teachers supposed to be proud of their students when they do well? I read in a book once that only bad teachers don’t compliment their students because they’re jealous.”
Professor White’s thoughts screech to a halt.
“Professor, why aren’t you saying anything nice?” Amirah asks, starting to pout. “Aren’t you going to compliment Zoë for doing so good?”
It takes Professor White a moment to recompose himself, which Amirah enjoys greatly.
“Be quiet, Miss Amirah,” he eventually says, his words more clipped than usual. “Do not speak of things you don’t understand.”
And now Amirah’s plan can come to fruition.
---
When Yarin seeks out Amirah that afternoon, she allows herself to be found.
“I’ll see you later,” Amirah says to Zoë squeezing her hand, before following Yarin placidly. Yarin’s thoughts are content at her easy acceptance, and he evens starts dreaming about things going back to the way they were.
Amirah allows him his pathetic fantasies and sits down at the tea party table. She makes a show of slowly grabbing a cookie and putting in on her plate.
She picks at it until it starts crumbling on her plate.
“Amirah, is there something wrong?” Yarin asks, having just noticed her behavior.
Amirah looks up, pinching the inside of her thigh as hard as she can, and bursts in tears.
“Professor White is so mean,” Amirah sobs. “When I asked a question, he told me to shut up because I didn’t understand.”
Now, Amirah knows that if she complained about Professor White being mean to Zoë, it would get nowhere, and Zoë may even get scolded. So, Amirah made sure to bait Professor White into saying something that would be sure to make Yarin angry.
And angry, he is. Rage contorts his features even as he gently scoops Amirah into his arms to comfort her.
“Don’t worry, ‘mirah,” he whispers as they leave the room. :That man will not spend another day in my house after insulting Amirah.:
He stalks through the halls until reaching where Professor White is staying. Yarin throws the door open, yelling, “Remove yourself from the premises, Arden White.”
Professor White is clearly not expecting this.
“Sir?” he says hesitantly. “Have I done something wrong?”
“You insulted my daughter,” Yarin hisses, pulling Amirah closer. Professor White’s eyes widen.
“Duke, this is all a misunderstanding–”
“Professor thinks I’m stupid,” Amirah renews her sobs, “he thinks I don’t understand anything.”
Professor White’s eyes narrow. “Now, listen here, that’s not what–”
“You have five minutes to get out of my estate,” Yarin says, turning so Amirah is farther away from him.
“Sir, are you firing me over a brat having a tantrum?” Professor White asked, incredulous.
That was the wrong thing to say.
“Guards!” Yarin calls. “Escort this man off the premises.”
It is so satisfying watching Professor White being dragged out, so satisfying watching him try to reason with Yarin, with the guards, trying to stop what was happening. Amirah would treasure this memory for the rest of her life.
A hand brushes against Amirah’s cheek and she instinctively pulls away.
“I’m so sorry this happened, my dear,” Yarin says, and he’s sincere. It makes it Amirah want to punch him.
“I want to go to sleep,” Amirah mumbles.
“Is there anything I can get you?” Yarin asks, frowning.
“I hope that our new teacher will be a good person.”
Yarin’s mind starts racing as he says, “Of course.”
---
When Amirah is finally free, she finds Zoë staring at a book but not reading it.
“I have a surprise!” Amirah announces, laughing at the way Zoë jumps. Amirah pulls Zoë to her feet and starts dancing with her, twirling about.
“What is it?” Zoë asks, helplessly smiling as she’s twirled.
“Professor White is gone!” Amirah says, stopping Zoë’s twirl so they were facing each other.
“What?” Zoë’s voice cracks.
“I told you, Zoë,” Amirah says, squeezing her hands. “I’m always on your side,”
“But he was a good teacher,” Zoë says.
“Not to you, he wasn’t,” Amirah says gently.
Zoë stares at Amirah for a long moment, her thoughts a jumbled mess.
And then she smiles so wide it nearly splits her face, even as tears well up.
“I love you,” Zoë says. :I love you more than anything. Thank you. Don’t leave me.:
“Love you more than anything.”
That night, they fall asleep holding hands.
---
submitted by princesslucian to OtomeIsekai [link] [comments]
I hope you all enjoy!
---
the year of 1299
The man who owns Tyran’s News comes into work at the crack of dawn. He yawns as he puts up his hat and coat, trying to remember which reporter was working last night because the door was left unlocked. He’ll find them later, he thinks, and steps into the main room. He’ll give them a stern –…
His thoughts pause midsentence as he takes in what is sitting on top of the printing press.
A letter.
A letter closed with purple wax and a large and ornate T.
The man opens the letter, reads it, and swears softly under his breath.
---
TYRAN’S NEWS
SPECIAL EDITION
When Justice Lies
I doubt there is a single citizen of this empire who has not heard of Earl Burns and his green eyes that strike fear into the heart of all who would dare cross him. Everyone has heard of his strict code of conduct, and his moral and upstanding personality. Everyone likens Earl Burns to the next coming of Commander Blackwood.
Why do I speak now of him, you must be asking. Allow me to illuminate.
Imagine now, Earl Burns’ large and sprawling countryside manor. Walking through those beautiful halls, past after portrait and portrait of Burns Patriarchs.
Once you come to the end of the hall, you will notice that you are staring up at the founder of the Burns family, the family’s famed emerald eyes staring down at you. Anyone who has ever had the opportunity to visit the Earl’s manor will know of this painting, for they all have been dared or daring enough to stare Tiberion Burns down. A rite of passage almost.
Along the left edge of the painting, there is a switch that allows the portrait to swing open into the hall, revealing stairs downwards.
It is dark down at the bottom of these stairs. It is the sort of darkness that messes with your brain, the type where you wonder if light even existed and wasn’t just a hallucination your addled mind came up with. There are no windows here, no exits save the stairs you just came down.
Strike a match and you reveal the truth.
This is a prison with five cramped cells, each with its very own prisoner.
You will notice that all prisoners are shackled to the wall with a collar around their necks.
You will notice that all prisoners are less than twenty years of age.
You will notice the slave brand burned into their chest.
And then you will notice the blood. It covers every inch of their bodies, it coats the floor beneath them, it drips off the weapons off the wall.
Earl Burns pretends to be a righteous man, pretends to believe in justice above all else, pretends that his hands are free of sin.
For the last three years, Earl Burns has been abducting Reinilian citizens and torturing them for his bloody amusement. He first breaks their spirits with pain and then forces them to fight for his amusement, promising the victor their freedom. The Earl keeps his promise, letting the slave run from his manor.
Then he releases those famed hunting hounds of his.
Earl Abraham Burns has murdered 43 Reinilians over the past two years for nothing more than the thrill of the hunt.
I know that you must doubt this, reader, and are asking yourself many questions in an attempt to organize your chaotic thoughts.
Is this man you have trusted to protect us? Is this the man you wanted your children to grow up to be? Is this really the man you trusted?
Unequivocally.
The evidence is damning.
And Abraham?
Run if you want, if you’re scared.
Justice will get you in the end.
Lady Tisdale
---
the year of 1285
She becomes aware of her surroundings in the space of a breath, memories, sensations, and thoughts rushing into her all at once.
She feels the sting of pain from where she dropped to her knees and that anchors her as some approaches her.
Their thoughts ring loudly in her mind.
:What happened? Did she seriously trip over nothing?:
Blinking away tears, she can see a maid kneel next to her.
“Are you alright?” the maid asks, and now she has a face for that thought.
She stares, tongue numb in her mouth.
:Why is she staring at me like that? It’s creepy. Did she hit her head?: says the maid’s mind, and with her mouth ,she says, “Are you hurt anywhere milady?”
She shakes her head, wanting to get away from this maid.
“I’m glad,” the maid says and smiles. :I can get back to relaxing now.:
The maid walks away, her mind preoccupied with a boy she had met in town.
The girl is left alone and made the unfortunate decision to look down. She stares at her hands as icy shock runs down her spine. These hands can’t be hers, they were far too small; it didn’t make sense.
The last thing she could remember is her brother’s screams.
But, overlapping with memories of pain and fire, is the memories of walking with unsure steps.
She stares at her feet, which are clad in delicate-looking shoes and ribbons that loop up her leg. They look impractical, like the type of shoes that dolls or ballet dancers wear.
Or, perhaps, they are the type of shoes that children wear.
She is glad that she was already on the ground or else she feels as if she would fall again. Pain pulses through her head and she presses gently against the spot between her eyebrows to try and fend off the headache.
She would have to just start with what she remembered, and then move from there.
---
the year of XXXX
Her name was Lydia and she liked to call herself twenty-one years young, something she had unfortunately picked up from her younger brother. He had teased her so much about her style is like an old lady’s and tried to mock her by speaking like an old person. He did it so much that she started unconsciously and unironically started speaking like that.
Her brother had nearly pissed himself laughing the first time she had said that to someone when they asked for her age, and she rightly smacked him upside the head… or at least she tried to hit him, but he was too quick and wily, and her missing only made him laugh even harder.
It was her last summer break before she graduated undergrad, and she was headed downstairs in search of some sort of sustenance around midnight. She froze when she reached the edge of the stairs and saw a picture of some random hot anime guy on their living room TV. Her brother whipped his head towards her, his face frozen in horror as the timer ticked down on the screen. It appeared he had to pick some sort of dialogue to get five hearts and he was currently at 4.5.
The only thing Lydia heard was,
:Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. No one’s supposed to be up.:
There was also something that should be mentioned now, something that some may say is rather important but Lydia didn’t ever talk about it and would rather just avoid the topic forever.
Lydia could read minds. It was mostly surface-level thoughts, but around crowds it was overwhelming and gave her headaches. If she really wanted to, she could probably crack open someone’s head and peruse through all their deepest secrets, but that would leave her in pain for a week. It wasn’t like it was a normal thing in her world for someone to casually have telepathy, so she kept it a secret from all others. She didn’t like using the information she got from other people’s thoughts but knew that sometimes it made conversations so much easier
So, when she looked at her brother and heard his panicking thoughts, it was normal and she knew what to do. She smiled and sat next to him, knowing just what to say to keep him happy and occupied. After a few prods, everything spilled out.
She was vaguely aware of something called Heaven’s Delight swirling through her brother’s mind this summer, but she had thought it was some sort of lewd MMO and didn’t really want to have that conversation with her brother. It turned out that it was apparently the name of a game adaptation of a romance novel called Heaven’s Temptation. Her brother had become obsessed with this series since she had last talked with him. He read the original novels religiously and played the game with the same intensity to find all the hidden lore and content that hadn’t been in the books. He had been sneaking down each night to play on the big screen since their parents conked out at eight.
Her brother looked so shy after talking, like he expected her to judge him. All she could do was ruffle his hair and ask what happened if he didn’t get five hearts for this event, since the timer was at five seconds. He yelped and picked in a blind panic, then sank with relief when it turned out to be the right answer.
They bonded that summer over the secret, and she was glad for it, even if still knew next to nothing about the story save the random trivia her brother had decided was the most important for her to know.
She had been afraid that after college they would grow apart, but this set her mind at ease, as she made her brother laugh after calling that random anime boy seventeen years-young.
She was ready to drive back to college and was saying her last goodbyes to her family. Her brother’s hug made her bones creak but she graciously said nothing because of the steady, :Don’t leave, I’ll miss you,: that played on repeat in his mind.
The drive went fine for the first twenty minutes as Lydia hummed along to music as she manage city traffic.
Then it all went wrong.
A semi-truck took a curve too wide, clipping another car that was going straight. That car went spinning, crashing into another, and then the next car slammed into the back of the wreck, and then –
(When she saw the semi start to take the curve too widely, she found herself picking up her phone and dialing her brother without even looking at it.)
– another car went careening and slammed right into the driver side of her car. A jolt went though her body as the airbag hit her face and she felt something snap in her nose. Then the car door crumpled, pinning her body to the seats. And then a second car hit the pileup, and the door dug in further into her body.
Distantly she could her brother asking why she called.
Another car hit.
Her brother asked her what’s wrong.
Metal dug into her chest and her breathing felt oddly wet.
A car had apparently missed the initial accident but the driver lost control somewhere along the way and slammed into the front of her car.
Her brother asked –
---
in the year of 1285
She felt like puking. Or crying. Or screaming. Or all three at once.
She struggles to her feet, falls over twice, and just crawls to a mirror. Wisps of pearl blonde hair curdled around tiny ears as a child’s face stares back at her.
Memories, blurred and hard to focus on, are pulled to the front of her now smaller mind. She sorts through the confusion and tries to figure out what she could learn from them.
Her name in this new… body is Amirah and she was five years old. She had a twin sister. She didn’t have a mother and her father loved her.
The reason she remembers her, well, past life now, is because her telepathy suddenly kicked on and her tiny child brain just about melted from the onslaught of new sensations. Her past memories emerged in order to protect her from going brain dead.
She closes her eyes and breathes in deeply for a few moments, trying to make sense of everything.
Lydia had died. It was hard to deny that, but still. Even if was selfish of her, she wishes that it hadn’t happened because she wasn’t ready yet. She had her whole life ahead of her, and her brother –
Tears sting her eyes, bubbling over and forcing her to open them. She stared at stupid purple eyes that weren’t hers and it made her cry harder.
It isn’t fair what she did to her brother, forcing him to listen to her die. Selfish till the end, Lydia was. Selfish in wanting to hear her brother’s voice one last time, selfish still that she wishes he was here with her.
She pauses in that thought.
Her brother isn’t here, and she hopes he never will be and that he lives a long and happy life. Her brother isn’t here, but she has a sister now and that will have to do because she needs a hug like she needs air to breathe.
She rubs at her eyes and leaves her room, trusting her hazy memory that her sister was in the next room.
What could only be her sister Zoë is sitting and reading quietly when she walks in. Zoë looks up with surprise when she closes the door softly behind her.
“Amirah, what are you doing?” Zoë says, closing her book. :Is something wrong?:
“I missed you,” she said and walks straight to Zoë.
“What?”
She wraps her arms around Zoë and her fragile self-control shatters. She starts to sob, unable to hold it back anymore.
“Amirah, what, how–”
“Please just hold me,” she whispers.
Zoë quiets down and does just that.
:How can I help her feel better? Do I need to pat her back? Should I rub it?:
She can’t help the smile that forms at that thought. She swears to herself right then and there, that she will love Zoë more than anything else in this new world. Zoë isn’t her brother nor his replacement, but she thinks that Zoë will make her just as happy as he did.
---
Amirah spends the next few days getting to know Zoë and slowly getting used to her new name. It is strange and every time she’s called that it feels like she’s wearing too tight clothes that make it hard to breathe. She feels like that every time except when Zoë says it.
Zoë is a quiet child, Amirah finds. She is more reserved than most five year-olds, and would happily spend all day reading books if she was allowed. Zoë doesn’t whine or beg, and never seems to want anything. Her thoughts always match her words, and that is something that is very rare.
Amirah finds herself coming to love Zoë faster than she thought she would. It’s the little things, the way that Zoë so obviously cares about her so much. Half the thoughts that Zoë has are of Amirah, and most of those thoughts are focused on how to make her happy. It’s flattering but at the same time Amirah wants Zoë to be more like a child.
So, one week after Amirah wakes up in her new body, she knocks at Zoë’s door right before bedtime.
“What are you doing here, Amirah?” Zoë asks, eyes wide and staring at the pillow Amirah clutches.
“I want to sleep with you,” Amirah says.
Zoë says nothing. :Is this allowed? Will we get in trouble?:
Amirah knows she should be above manipulation, but she bats her eyes at her sister and says, “Pleaaaaase, Zoë! I’ll be good, I swear!”
That breaks Zoë and she opens the door, quickly closing it behind Amirah.
Amirah hops onto Zoë’s bed and pats the place next to her until Zoë sits. Amirah smiles at the tentative way Zoë moves and the confusion stewing in her mind.
“I want to tell you a bedtime story,” Amirah says, pushing Zoë gently to make her lie down.
“A bedtime story?”
“Yup,” Amirah says, brushing back some of Zoë’s hair. “I promise it’s a good one.”
Zoë chews on her lip. :This is the first time someone’s telling me a bedtime story.:
Before Amirah could process that sudden tragic thought, Zoë’s beaming up at Amirah.
“I’m sure it’ll be wonderful,” Zoë says. :I’m glad Amirah’s telling me a bedtime story.:
Amirah takes a moment to recompose herself, and then smiles as wide as she can.
“Once upon a time, there lived a princess known throughout the land for her kindness. This princess’s name was Zoë.”
Zoë’s jaw dropped. “She has the same name I do,” she whispers, then looks ashamed of interrupting.
“It’s a beautiful name,” Amirah sniffs, “and there should be more beautiful names in the world.”
Zoë is a captive audience, and Amirah loves the way wonder sparkles in her eyes. Amirah spins the tale of the Princess and the Frog into a magical adventure, ad-libbing to make it more exciting. Zoë gasps when a dragon appears and wishes to eat the frog companion, and then sinks with relief when Princess Zoë outsmarts the dragon into thinking the frog was somewhere across the kingdom.
By the end of Amirah’s tale, Zoë’s eyes are drooping but her smile never wavers.
“And then Princess Zoë lives happily ever after,” Amirah says, reaching over to tug the blanket higher on Zoë. Zoë valiantly tries to wake up, but Amirah simply leans over and presses a kiss into her forehead, before crawling under the blanket with her.
“I really liked it,” Zoë whispers. :I want you to tell me another one.:
“I can tell you one tomorrow,” Amirah whispers back, squeezing Zoë’s hand. Zoë’s answering smile is something that Amirah will treasure.
Amirah wants Zoë to always smile like that.
---
Amirah tries her best to introduce Zoë to as many of her favorite activities she can. Zoë is initially disapproving of pillow fights but quickly changes her mind after she gets the satisfaction of nailing Amirah directly in the face. Zoë’s giddy laugh is music to Amirah’s ears.
She learns that Zoë loves oranges and would eat them by the basketful if allowed, not caring of how her fingers grew sticky from peeling them.
She also notices Zoë’s hands are frequently sticky. Her sister often absentmindedly steals random things. Amirah can find no pattern in what Zoë takes, nor any indication in her thoughts that she was about to steal something, only that Zoë has a small collection in her room of the various things she snatched.
“Why do you do that?” Amirah asks one day after an especially egregious theft. Zoë pauses where she is reaching for a candelabra and turns to Amirah.
“Do what?” she says even as she wraps her sticky little fingers around the candelabra and brings it to her chest. Zoë’s lucky the candles were unlit with how close her black hair gets to the candle.
“Take things.”
Zoë looks genuinely surprised at that.
“I…I don’t know,” Zoë says, and that rings true in her mind. “I just… do?”
Amirah considers that for a moment, especially since Zoë didn’t appear to be lying. Well, if Amirah was asked how she could read minds, she’d probably have a similar answer, so she accepts Zoë’s explanation with a nod, and they continue down the hallway with Zoë’s ill-gotten gains.
---
Amirah doesn’t get to meet her new father until a month after she awakens. All she has is fuzzy memories of a man who doted on her, and the impression of a smile. She assumes that he’s a doting father, and almost looks forward to it.
But when a maid announces that the lord is returning while leading them to the front door and Zoë goes pale and retreats into her shell, Amirah knows that her assumption must be very, very wrong.
:Is he going to yell at me again?: All laughter and happiness is gone from Zoë’s mind. Amirah has just enough time to process what she just heard when the door opens.
A tall man stands there, and it matches the memories of her father, of a man called Yarin. He takes off his hat and hands it off to a servant before walking towards them with one thought ringing clearly in his mind, :Amirah is always so cute. I’m glad to be home.:
He only has eyes for her, and that makes Amirah hate him a little when Zoë’s face so clearly falls. He pulls Amirah into a hug while she’s processing, and says, “Did you miss daddy as much as he missed you?”
Amirah has never really known when to watch her mouth.
She squirms out of his arms and clutches Zoë’s arm instead, who instinctively reaches back, being so used to Amirah’s touchiness after a month.
“Uh-uh.” Amirah shakes her head. “I had Zoë to play with.”
For a moment her father’s mind is completely blank. For that moment, Amirah hopes that he is a better man than he is.
He draws himself to his full height and stares down at Zoë, who stands frozen. :Please don’t yell at me daddy,: Zoë’s mind begs, :Please love me daddy.:
“Let go of Amirah. Don’t you have any decency?”
Their father’s voice is harsh and pointed and Zoë pulls away with a, “Yes, Father.”
“I grabbed her first!” Amirah tries to pull some of the ire to her, but she only grows sickened when their father’s features soften instead.
“Zoë should know better,” he says, as if Zoë wasn’t a five-year-old.
Amirah is speechless at the audacity of this man and the difference of which her treats them. As she stares at him, he seems to take it as childish anger.
“Are you mad I was gone for so long?” He squats and pats her head. “Don’t worry, I’ll make sure to spend lots of time now that I’m home.”
---
And he certainly tries to do just that, but Amirah avoids him as much as she can. He seeks her out, but Amirah has taken to exploring all corners of the mansion with Zoë, trying to find the most tucked away spots to hide in.
It’s like all the light and joy was sucked out of Zoë the moment their father came home. The only time Amirah can get her to smile anymore is during their bedtime tales. Zoë never tells Amirah no when she asks to spend time together, but she’s quiet the whole time and her thoughts are focused on her apparent flaws. Amirah hasn’t been able to figure out a way to comfort Zoë yet, and she hates that.
“Don’t you want to spend time with Father?” Zoë asks quietly a week after Amirah started avoiding their father. :Why don’t you spend time with him when he loves you?:
“I’m good with just you Zoë!” Amirah says as she turns to Zoë, wishing that she could make her forget about their father’s lack of affection. “I love you sooooo much!”
Zoë almost smiles just as Amirah hears, :Where on earth has Amirah gotten off to?: and ice runs down her spine.
Amirah whips around just in time to see Yarin turning a corner.
The moment he sees Amirah, his irritation fades into a smile, and she hates it, especially when Zoe’s face fades into neutrality.
“Amirah, it seems that I never get to see you anymore,” her father chides, and reaches to ruffle her hair. Amirah pulls back, moving towards Zoë. Yarin’s follows the movement to Zoë and his face twists into something hateful.
“Zoë.” The way he says her name is like how other people discuss maggots. “It appears that while I was gone, you’ve convinced your sister to waste time with you.”
“She hasn’t!” Amirah says, putting herself between them.
“There’s no need to protect a troublemaker like her, Amirah,” Yarin says, though his voice softens with something disgusting like love. He glances at Zoë and thinks, :Should I just send her off to the covenant? They’d whip her into shape.:
Amirah thinks she finally understands just how people can want to murder someone. Anger bubbles up within her, coating every thought and souring all memories she has of this man, and she wishes she was taller so she could reach his neck and squeeze. Amirah’s anger is a wet type of anger that makes her throat thicken and words are harder to form, because all she wants to do is scream and cry at the unfairness of the world.
But she knows she can’t do that, even if she wants to.
“If Zoë has to leave, I’ll leave too!” Amirah screams, clutching Zoë’s arm and baring her teeth up at Yarin.
“Calm yourself, Amirah.” Amirah gives that pathetic attempt the exact amount of recognition it deserves, which is none. She steps away from him, pulling Zoë with her.
Yarin’s mouth flattens into a thin line. “Zoë’s obviously a bad influence if she’s made you change this much.”
“If you make Zoë leave, I’ll hate you forever,” Amirah hisses and enjoys the way his thoughts freeze in shock.
“Don’t make threats you don’t mean,” Yarin eventually says softly.
“But I do mean it,” Amirah says, “Zoë’s my favorite person and I want to live with her for the rest of my life.”
Yarin’s jaw tightens as he stares at Zoë again.
:Why must this child keep ruining everything good in my life? First, she takes my wife from me, and now she takes my daughter from me as well.:
Amirah opens her mouth but pauses when she hears Zoë think, :I must be a bad girl. I made Amirah waste her time that she could spend with daddy.:
Amirah needs to end this conversation now before Zoë internalizes anymore of Yarin’s poisonous words.
“I miss mommy,” Amirah blurts out and starts to cry, shocking both of them. Yarin’s anger immediately dissolves and he comes forward to soothe her. Amirah refuses to let go of Zoë, and stares at Yarin until he wraps his arms around them both.
Amirah tries not to think about how this is the first time Zoë can remember their father showing her affection.
---
After that unfortunate encounter, Yarin apparently believed that Amirah needed something that wasn’t Zoë to keep her attention and informs her over breakfast that he hired a tutor for her.
“What about Zoë?” Amirah asks pointedly. Zoë looks surprised at being mentioned in the conversation, and Amirah hates Yarin a little more.
“This is a tutor just for you–” is all he gets out before Amirah throws the biggest tantrum she can. She thinks, what is the worst thing I could do in Yarin’s eyes, and then does just that. She knocks over her glass, spilling orange juice all over the tablecloth towards Yarin’s seat. She starts to cry that daddy is unfair, that she hates daddy, that daddy is the worst person in the world.
---
And, so, they both now have daily lessons with their brand-new tutor.
On the first day, they both show up early. Zoë has her desk organized, all her pens stacked in a neat line on the right side of the desk, and today’s date written neatly in the top corner of her paper. In contrast, Amirah has a blank paper and one pencil in front of her.
Amirah doesn’t expect to enjoy these lessons, but she knows that Zoë has been mentally vibrating with excitement since yesterday.
The teacher is an older fellow, introducing himself as Professor White, and then gets right into their lessons. The first few days are focused on testing their current skills, in which Zoë blows her out of the water. Amirah is lucky that somehow this new world’s language is one she understands how to read, but writing is a whole different ball game. Her hands aren’t used to holding a pencil and her letters come out far too wiggly.
Professor White’s class are dry, and his thoughts are always focused on the material, but Zoë loves them enough that Amirah begrudgingly enjoys them as well. Amirah knows that she’s only understanding what Professor White is teaching because she has a lifetime of attending public school to fall back on. So, when Zoë is able to keep up with the lessons with no problems and total comprehension of all the subjects, Amirah realizes that Zoë must be a genius. No other five-year-old that Amirah has ever met willingly took notes, understood multiplication and division after the first lesson, and spent their free time studying.
---
If Amirah could, she’d be early every morning for lessons with Zoë but Yarin keeps trying to demand her attention instead. He does it sneakily, having a maid dress Amirah up and then bring her to where Yarin is waiting.
The table is covered in sweets and Amirah hates the sight of them when Yarin smiles knowingly and thinks, :Now this should keep her attention.:
Instead of following his wishes, Amirah sighs loudly and droops in her chair.
“What’s wrong dear?” Yarin asks. Amirah looks longingly towards the door and sighs again. “I can’t help you if you don’t tell me anything.”
“I wish Zoë was here,” Amirah pouts. “She would love to eat this too.”
Yarin’s smile tightens. “These sweets are for good children.” :Not like her.:
“But Zoë is a good child!” Amirah says, batting her eyes innocently. “She’s always so nice and helpful to me.”
Yarin says nothing.
---
It’s been two weeks since their lessons started, and Amirah is starting to regret taking them. Zoë is always so busy now, always having to do homework or wanting to stay after class with Professor White. Her thoughts are focused on being a good student, and Amirah doesn’t want to take her away from something she enjoys, so Amirah chews on her lip and accepts it. This unfortunately meant that Yarin could steal Amirah away more often because she couldn’t use Zoë as an excuse not to go. It was a little amusing to watch Yarin squirm when Amirah spends the entire time talking about Zoë and how cool she was.
Zoë asked to sleep alone tonight after class was over, and Amirah can’t fault her sister for wanting privacy. But Amirah isn’t used to sleeping alone anymore and finds herself staring at her ceiling close to midnight.
Idly, she tries to listen for whatever thoughts she can hear. Amirah’s found that since waking up, her range for telepathy had become larger and that she could reliably hear people’s thoughts from over a hundred feet away.
Amirah closes her eyes and reaches out.
:I hate working the night shift.:
:What should I eat for breakfast tomorrow?:
:I don’t want to be alone, but I have to be. I deserve it.:
Amirah throws off her blanket and is moving towards the door before she even realizes it’s Zoë’s thoughts she’s listening to. Amirah waits for the butler’s thoughts to leave her range before sneaking out of her room.
Amirah knocks quietly, not wanting to draw the butler back with noise.
“Zoë, it’s me,” Amirah whispers, “please open the door.”
:Amirah should stay far away from me.:
“Zoë, please.”
:I want to open the door.:
Then open it, Amirah thinks, but bites it down before she can say it. Instead, she takes a breath to calm herself and says, “I love you.”
For a moment there are thoughts that Amirah can hear, and then the door opens.
Zoë stands there and she looks wretched. Her eyes are puffy and red, her nose is running, and tears tracks stain her cheeks. Amirah rushes forward, pulling Zoë into a hug.
“I’m here now,” Amirah whispers, her fingers gripping the back of Zoë’s nightdress desperately, “and I’m never leaving your side.”
Zoë bursts into sobs and Amirah awkwardly shuffles them towards the bed, closing the door with her foot. Amirah holds Zoë for as long as she needs, trying her best to not listen to Zoë’s beratement of herself. Listening to a child cry is one of the hardest things a person will have to go through, and when you care for that child, it makes everything worse.
When Zoë’s sobs have subsided, Amirah asks, “What’s wrong?”
:I’m bothering Amirah again,: Zoë thinks, not meeting Amirah’s eyes. :Professor White is right, I’m nothing but a useless thing.:
Anger crystalizes in Amirah’s veins, anger towards Professor White for saying that to a child, and then anger towards herself because how could she not have noticed this? What’s the use of telepathy is she can’t even detect when someone is bullying her sister?
But being angry won’t help Zoë.
“You know,” Amirah says, leaning into Zoë’s space and resting her head against Zoë’s shoulder, “I don’t think I’ve ever told you directly how cool you are.”
Zoë jerks but not so much that Amirah is dislodged.
“You always talk so politely,” Amirah continues as if she can’t feel Zoë’s burning gaze. “It’s so cool, it’s like you’re already a proper adult. And you always study so hard and for so long. You’re just sooo smart, Zoë, you know that right?”
:Why… shouldn’t she be jealous?:
“I’m so proud of how good you’re doing! At least one of us needs to be smart, and I know it’s not going to be me, so thank you for taking up that burden.”
:She’s proud of me?: “And do you want to know a secret?” Amirah whispers, turning towards Zoë and taking her hand. “I love you more than anybody else in this world. No matter what happens, no matter what you do or say, no matter what anyone else says, I’m always going to be on your side. Even if it’s us against the world.”
Zoë’s grip on Amirah’s hand tightens almost painfully, but Amirah says nothing, letting Zoë process her emotions.
“Professor White says that I’m a know-it-all,” Zoë confesses, words barely audible. “That no body loves know-it-alls and that you have me for being smarter than you. Being smart is useless when you’re not pretty.”
Amirah is, once again, contemplating murdering a man but anger helps no one at this time. She breathes slowly, then hugs Zoë.
“There is nothing wrong with being a smart girl,” Amirah says, “and I could never hate you. Professor White is lying to you.”
“But why would he lie?” Zoë whispers. :Everything else he’s said is true.:
“Because he’s decided to be… a mean man,” Amirah says, amending her word choice last second. It wouldn’t do to expose Zoë to those sorts of words at this age. “He wanted to hurt you, so he lied to you.”
And Amirah is sure that if she tore through Professor White’s mind, she’d find some sort of order from Yarin to treat Zoë differently, and if she didn’t stop thinking about this, Amirah was about to have a murder fully planned out by morning.
Zoë begins to cry again, and she cries herself to sleep.
Amirah stares at ceiling and begins planning for the day she can take Zoë away from this house.
---
The next day in class, Amirah comes in early with Zoë and stares daggers at Professor White, who seems slightly taken aback by that.
:Did she not like her homework yesterday?: Professor White mused with a raised eyebrow.
Amirah imagines kicking him between the legs and revealing in his pain, and tries to put that into her smile. He looks away and starts the lesson. Today was a math lesson and he hands them both sheets to go through.
Zoë hesitates before solving the first question and Amirah makes sure to write very slowly.
“Woah!” Amirah says after Zoë finished the problem. “You’re so smart! You finished that so quickly!”
Zoë flushes but can’t hide her shy smile. Professor White is not nearly as pleased.
“Focus on your own work, Miss Amirah,” Professor White says, tapping on her paper. He turns to Zoë and says, “Don’t grow arrogant from finishing just one problem.”
“But is it arrogance if it’s true?” Amirah asks, tilting her head like she doesn’t understand. “Isn’t Zoë like totally smart? She reads all sorts of books I don’t understand, and that’s so cool.”
Amirah grins meanly at the way Professor White frowns. :Why is she talking about this? She doesn’t normally speak up in class.:
“Aren’t teachers supposed to be proud of their students when they do well? I read in a book once that only bad teachers don’t compliment their students because they’re jealous.”
Professor White’s thoughts screech to a halt.
“Professor, why aren’t you saying anything nice?” Amirah asks, starting to pout. “Aren’t you going to compliment Zoë for doing so good?”
It takes Professor White a moment to recompose himself, which Amirah enjoys greatly.
“Be quiet, Miss Amirah,” he eventually says, his words more clipped than usual. “Do not speak of things you don’t understand.”
And now Amirah’s plan can come to fruition.
---
When Yarin seeks out Amirah that afternoon, she allows herself to be found.
“I’ll see you later,” Amirah says to Zoë squeezing her hand, before following Yarin placidly. Yarin’s thoughts are content at her easy acceptance, and he evens starts dreaming about things going back to the way they were.
Amirah allows him his pathetic fantasies and sits down at the tea party table. She makes a show of slowly grabbing a cookie and putting in on her plate.
She picks at it until it starts crumbling on her plate.
“Amirah, is there something wrong?” Yarin asks, having just noticed her behavior.
Amirah looks up, pinching the inside of her thigh as hard as she can, and bursts in tears.
“Professor White is so mean,” Amirah sobs. “When I asked a question, he told me to shut up because I didn’t understand.”
Now, Amirah knows that if she complained about Professor White being mean to Zoë, it would get nowhere, and Zoë may even get scolded. So, Amirah made sure to bait Professor White into saying something that would be sure to make Yarin angry.
And angry, he is. Rage contorts his features even as he gently scoops Amirah into his arms to comfort her.
“Don’t worry, ‘mirah,” he whispers as they leave the room. :That man will not spend another day in my house after insulting Amirah.:
He stalks through the halls until reaching where Professor White is staying. Yarin throws the door open, yelling, “Remove yourself from the premises, Arden White.”
Professor White is clearly not expecting this.
“Sir?” he says hesitantly. “Have I done something wrong?”
“You insulted my daughter,” Yarin hisses, pulling Amirah closer. Professor White’s eyes widen.
“Duke, this is all a misunderstanding–”
“Professor thinks I’m stupid,” Amirah renews her sobs, “he thinks I don’t understand anything.”
Professor White’s eyes narrow. “Now, listen here, that’s not what–”
“You have five minutes to get out of my estate,” Yarin says, turning so Amirah is farther away from him.
“Sir, are you firing me over a brat having a tantrum?” Professor White asked, incredulous.
That was the wrong thing to say.
“Guards!” Yarin calls. “Escort this man off the premises.”
It is so satisfying watching Professor White being dragged out, so satisfying watching him try to reason with Yarin, with the guards, trying to stop what was happening. Amirah would treasure this memory for the rest of her life.
A hand brushes against Amirah’s cheek and she instinctively pulls away.
“I’m so sorry this happened, my dear,” Yarin says, and he’s sincere. It makes it Amirah want to punch him.
“I want to go to sleep,” Amirah mumbles.
“Is there anything I can get you?” Yarin asks, frowning.
“I hope that our new teacher will be a good person.”
Yarin’s mind starts racing as he says, “Of course.”
---
When Amirah is finally free, she finds Zoë staring at a book but not reading it.
“I have a surprise!” Amirah announces, laughing at the way Zoë jumps. Amirah pulls Zoë to her feet and starts dancing with her, twirling about.
“What is it?” Zoë asks, helplessly smiling as she’s twirled.
“Professor White is gone!” Amirah says, stopping Zoë’s twirl so they were facing each other.
“What?” Zoë’s voice cracks.
“I told you, Zoë,” Amirah says, squeezing her hands. “I’m always on your side,”
“But he was a good teacher,” Zoë says.
“Not to you, he wasn’t,” Amirah says gently.
Zoë stares at Amirah for a long moment, her thoughts a jumbled mess.
And then she smiles so wide it nearly splits her face, even as tears well up.
“I love you,” Zoë says. :I love you more than anything. Thank you. Don’t leave me.:
“Love you more than anything.”
That night, they fall asleep holding hands.
---
2022.09.27 23:39 MotherBike Rankings Week 2: AKA me screaming silently at Len to save Cheryl
First off, was pleasantly surprised that the lack of time didn't hinder too many people who had two weeks to practice for week 1. Was Elvis a hit? Yes and No. I felt that there where moments in the show where we lost the plot. I think that's to be expected when we still have 15 couples, but c'est la vie.
Secondly, congratulations to Pasha and Teresa for redeeming themselves before elimination, but personally I think there was a lot of manipulation on the judges scores that played into why we had this particular bottom 2. To give credit where it's due, Teresa had some solid footwork in sections, and the BEST rock step of the evening, so it's a tad ashame they went when others deserved to be in the bottom more. I will touch on this in my rankings, but on with the show!
1st- TIE - Wayne and Wit/Heidi and Artem
They say the devil works hard, but these two pros certainly work harder. Wayne in particular had all the elements and flavor of an Elvis Jive, and I really don't have too much to say honestly except to work on the kick ball change and his spins where a tad dangerous, could've gone wrong, but didn't and I'd like more conviction on future rock steps. Despite not having the gumption to bring out the charm like her daughter can, Mrs. Heidi did not play around, there was a sweetness and refinement that was unparalleled. This might be an unpopular opinion still, her dance was horribly underscored, and I think it's because Heidi has endeared herself to the audience, and is getting the popular vote (at least last week). If I could give Heidi one piece of advice it would be to have more moments of positive affirmation for herself. Her arms, legs, feet, back, and chest had the right amount of space to truly punctuate her form. Also, hello rise and fall on week 2, c'mon!
2nd - TIE - Daniel and Britt/Shangela and Gleb
It was a no-brainer to put Shangela here, but I have to be honest I wasn't sure about Daniel's Jive, as it was a Jive, but just not what we expect in one. Technically he was near perfection, but I figured out his feet issue. He cuts his step off a tad prematurely, which is why his tango steps where off and they looked hoppy despite the fluidity in his upper body. I personally would've liked more dynamic movement, but it was great. I wish they did more is my only big critique as this was more club Jive than competition Jive. For clarification it was like a step up from the boogie-woogie competition in Pulp Fiction. As for Shangela, the reason she's here is because this was a full package that had all the right amount of flair and care. First note: THANK YOU GLEB!!! I felt so spoiled watching this, the choreography was so light and fresh, and not so dramatic which I come to expect from his QS choreography. That "mistake" was not a mistake in the sense that she flubbed a move, it was a slight overreach that hit the mark a bit farther than anticipated. Always the consummate professional though Shangie was again a showstopper. I will say this tough, she needs to strengthen her upper back, particularly the shoulders, so this was the martini glass hold however this drink was experiencing some slight spillage. Final note when she has an actual Jive in the future to work on her sharpness.
3rd - Charli and Mark
Charli, go take a page from mother's book and open up your body more to get that frame nice and poignant. Her chest needed to be open a tad more, and the spine… the spine and neck just needed some more lengthening. One the other hand she's a marvelous actress, and now I see why she and Mark are partnered up. On a side note this couple gives me huge Fred and Wilma Flintstone vibes, and not it the romance area… heavens no! Moreover it is the comedic dynamic between them has that zing, it's clean wholesome comedy too, and I really dig it!
4th - Gabby and Val
My biggest critique is actually for Val, challenge your partner more, and reap the benefits. Gabby is exceptionally brilliant, but this dance highlighted her weaknesses. No fault of Gabby's she danced it beautifully, but this might be a case of overdancing on the celebrity's part. See how much she was featured was perfect, but the choreography highlighted her balletic form which is more regal than a Viennese Waltz should be. I guess the best way to put it is that she's a sharp line when she should be a touch more wiggly. Her feet in particular, it's quite obvious she has no articulation, just a pointed toe that doesn't add shape. When you dance VW one should have an airiness to their shapes that expand outward rather than up and down. Overall I think Val hammered in on the turns not being as graceful, which I did appreciate.
5th - TIE - Sam and Cheryl/Jordin and Brandon
These two couples being put in the same placement feels wrong on so many levels, but Sam rose to occasion. Whereas Jordin leveled out, and was overscored. I suspect she needs to boost as going first last week might've really hindered her. On the flipside Sam was underscored by one point. Does he need the extra point? In the grand scheme of things I don't think so, but eventually he will and I hope the judges can at least appropriately score him going forward. Everyone is gushing over Trevor, I don't get it, especially when Sam imo had the best transformation of all the couples. After Cheryl told him to breath he was so light and dashing I forgot it was Sam Champion for a moment, and having said that I think Cheryl has a diamond in the rough. The lines blew me away even if the fingertips needed articulation, and sometimes his toes are a tad duck footed when he does his travel. It was great until he dropped the elbow at the last second. Otherwise I'd have him tied with Gabby. As for Jordin, this dance gave me West Side Story meets Elvis, and I absolutely adored and applaud Brandon for the mashup. Additionally he hid Jordin's weaknesses very well, particularly in the standing formation, her upper carriage needs more lift, but other than that I disagree about the frame. I think it was excellent, but she should have leaned her pelvis towards Brandon more. There was significant gapping in places, and finally just tone those fierce legs and you'll be a ballroom babe Jordin!
6th - TIE - Vinny and Koko/JJD & Alan
Like Gabby and Val My biggest critique is for our new pro Koko, now that he's getting the fundamentals work on speed and resistance. Vinny had a great turnaround, but going from latin to ballroom it could just be that he's better at ballroom. Going forward when in practice be weightless Koko, allow Vinny to feel the invisible resistance by showing him how loose his is. In the same token thank you for not treating Vinny like a prop in your solo Koko. Both partners where visible 100% of the time. Overall he could use some more body contact as the gapping was tremendous when it need not to be, and his legs are wooden but not terribly as we saw in his Salsa and in this number's runs his legs can articulate. Final note, tuck in that bum more, and that hairstyle made me think of Alan. Speaking of Alan and JJD she did much better than her debut, but her main struggle is in her reliance and shakiness in her partnership. She clings too much, but then also gets lost out of hold. Like Koko Alan needs to get that resistance between them sharpened, but on top of that Jessie needs to practice her solo work in front of a group. She hesitates a tad, especially in the upper body which is why she ends up throwing what could be gorgeous lines away, but her legs are fantastic just need a skosh more polish in the direction she intends on going. Overall though a step in the right direction, but just make sure your foot plants in that correct direction.
7th - Selma and Sasha
For what it's worth she coped very well, but this dance exposed the major flaw this partnership has. Sasha's uninspired choreography, now if Daniel and Selma swapped partners and did the jive the other celebrity had done (Selma boogie club Jive and Daniel more gymnastics) I think I would've liked both much better. Sasha!!! choreograph to Selma's strengths not yours, as it's obvious the gimmicks will be good, but she practically needed a cryopod off stage left after her critiques. If you kept it lower to the ground, and more swing I bet Selma would've had a much better turnout in the jive. What I did like is her top was as still as a morning fog rolling in gently over the action packed lower body. It was perfect in terms of light and shade, and it was nice seeing Selma play around with her capabilities, but that handspring could've gone horribly bad. Her leg did lock in the end sequence, but other than that this isn't her best but I blame Sasha.
8th - Joseph and Alexis*
Joseph started very strong and had some fantastic moments with Alexis. Also is my man's actually bi? Like his flirtation is off the charts with both men and women, but that's not what this is about. So I'm trying to wrap my head around what CAI says she saw, and I think what she saw is what I did too. It was not a lift, it was a rotation that had to much space between Joe's ankles, he trips just a smidgen, and I guess it hid Alexis' foot long enough to lift police to become sus. Okay I see where she thought there was a lift, but Alexis played it off well. When on foot left the ground she planted the other, so I'm gonna say not a lift. What really surprises me is his gentility especially in his hands, he doesn't cup Alexis' hands he wraps them, but out of all his qualities I can't give Joe enough credit in his ability to recover quickly after a wobble. Also he worked on his legs!!!
9th - Trevor and Emma
Someone get me a barf bag, and smack Alfonso for me. I've never felt more vicariously mortified in my life… no discredit to Trevor if he likes Emma that's lovely and all, but seriously tone down the showmance or next week Trevor will be dancing with Peta/Kat (excuse the unexpected Hunger Games reference lol) because it's not the time or the place. As for the dancing, I don't get the hype, was it better than most men can do period? Not really. Was the emotional content better than the dancing? Yes, so much that Jessie James Decker is taking notes on how to fake it. Okay, his weight transitions were not terrible, but that's about as positive I can be about this dance. When you dance Rumba the footwork in like digging your foot into the sands and dragging out the extension, which is how the hips work in this dance, and speaking of hips his where moving about .01 percent of the time in this Rumba. Everything stems from the ground up, so if the footwork isn't on base the whole frame gets disjointed, and the upper lines get distorted. Beautiful lines can still be beautiful, but if they aren't placed right it's just average. That's the best word I can think of for this, average. I think he's in trouble, and they overscored him to keep him out of the bottom.
10th - Cheryl and Louis
Okay, I'm just gonna say it, I think Cheryl is actually gonna be more of a Samba dancer than a ballroom dancer. The fan at the beginning had so much potential, and it was perhaps the highlight of the dance for me. I think she could've done better with another latin dance. There's something to be said about ballroom Tango, in that the feet placement and slightly bent knee are vital to getting the frame and feel of the Tango. Without it everything is very top heavy and discombobulated, she lost her frame, regained it. Lost her footing in the bobble, and recovered but the biggest thing was her timing went out the door at the end because of the way it panned out. I think if she had an Argentine Tango it would've been more fun and cheeky that she could get more control for when she would've had ballroom Tango. One thing you can admire about this is she is able to recover when she can, and sometimes even cover up mistakes such as in her cha cha last week.
submitted by MotherBike to dancingwiththestars [link] [comments]
Secondly, congratulations to Pasha and Teresa for redeeming themselves before elimination, but personally I think there was a lot of manipulation on the judges scores that played into why we had this particular bottom 2. To give credit where it's due, Teresa had some solid footwork in sections, and the BEST rock step of the evening, so it's a tad ashame they went when others deserved to be in the bottom more. I will touch on this in my rankings, but on with the show!
1st- TIE - Wayne and Wit/Heidi and Artem
They say the devil works hard, but these two pros certainly work harder. Wayne in particular had all the elements and flavor of an Elvis Jive, and I really don't have too much to say honestly except to work on the kick ball change and his spins where a tad dangerous, could've gone wrong, but didn't and I'd like more conviction on future rock steps. Despite not having the gumption to bring out the charm like her daughter can, Mrs. Heidi did not play around, there was a sweetness and refinement that was unparalleled. This might be an unpopular opinion still, her dance was horribly underscored, and I think it's because Heidi has endeared herself to the audience, and is getting the popular vote (at least last week). If I could give Heidi one piece of advice it would be to have more moments of positive affirmation for herself. Her arms, legs, feet, back, and chest had the right amount of space to truly punctuate her form. Also, hello rise and fall on week 2, c'mon!
2nd - TIE - Daniel and Britt/Shangela and Gleb
It was a no-brainer to put Shangela here, but I have to be honest I wasn't sure about Daniel's Jive, as it was a Jive, but just not what we expect in one. Technically he was near perfection, but I figured out his feet issue. He cuts his step off a tad prematurely, which is why his tango steps where off and they looked hoppy despite the fluidity in his upper body. I personally would've liked more dynamic movement, but it was great. I wish they did more is my only big critique as this was more club Jive than competition Jive. For clarification it was like a step up from the boogie-woogie competition in Pulp Fiction. As for Shangela, the reason she's here is because this was a full package that had all the right amount of flair and care. First note: THANK YOU GLEB!!! I felt so spoiled watching this, the choreography was so light and fresh, and not so dramatic which I come to expect from his QS choreography. That "mistake" was not a mistake in the sense that she flubbed a move, it was a slight overreach that hit the mark a bit farther than anticipated. Always the consummate professional though Shangie was again a showstopper. I will say this tough, she needs to strengthen her upper back, particularly the shoulders, so this was the martini glass hold however this drink was experiencing some slight spillage. Final note when she has an actual Jive in the future to work on her sharpness.
3rd - Charli and Mark
Charli, go take a page from mother's book and open up your body more to get that frame nice and poignant. Her chest needed to be open a tad more, and the spine… the spine and neck just needed some more lengthening. One the other hand she's a marvelous actress, and now I see why she and Mark are partnered up. On a side note this couple gives me huge Fred and Wilma Flintstone vibes, and not it the romance area… heavens no! Moreover it is the comedic dynamic between them has that zing, it's clean wholesome comedy too, and I really dig it!
4th - Gabby and Val
My biggest critique is actually for Val, challenge your partner more, and reap the benefits. Gabby is exceptionally brilliant, but this dance highlighted her weaknesses. No fault of Gabby's she danced it beautifully, but this might be a case of overdancing on the celebrity's part. See how much she was featured was perfect, but the choreography highlighted her balletic form which is more regal than a Viennese Waltz should be. I guess the best way to put it is that she's a sharp line when she should be a touch more wiggly. Her feet in particular, it's quite obvious she has no articulation, just a pointed toe that doesn't add shape. When you dance VW one should have an airiness to their shapes that expand outward rather than up and down. Overall I think Val hammered in on the turns not being as graceful, which I did appreciate.
5th - TIE - Sam and Cheryl/Jordin and Brandon
These two couples being put in the same placement feels wrong on so many levels, but Sam rose to occasion. Whereas Jordin leveled out, and was overscored. I suspect she needs to boost as going first last week might've really hindered her. On the flipside Sam was underscored by one point. Does he need the extra point? In the grand scheme of things I don't think so, but eventually he will and I hope the judges can at least appropriately score him going forward. Everyone is gushing over Trevor, I don't get it, especially when Sam imo had the best transformation of all the couples. After Cheryl told him to breath he was so light and dashing I forgot it was Sam Champion for a moment, and having said that I think Cheryl has a diamond in the rough. The lines blew me away even if the fingertips needed articulation, and sometimes his toes are a tad duck footed when he does his travel. It was great until he dropped the elbow at the last second. Otherwise I'd have him tied with Gabby. As for Jordin, this dance gave me West Side Story meets Elvis, and I absolutely adored and applaud Brandon for the mashup. Additionally he hid Jordin's weaknesses very well, particularly in the standing formation, her upper carriage needs more lift, but other than that I disagree about the frame. I think it was excellent, but she should have leaned her pelvis towards Brandon more. There was significant gapping in places, and finally just tone those fierce legs and you'll be a ballroom babe Jordin!
6th - TIE - Vinny and Koko/JJD & Alan
Like Gabby and Val My biggest critique is for our new pro Koko, now that he's getting the fundamentals work on speed and resistance. Vinny had a great turnaround, but going from latin to ballroom it could just be that he's better at ballroom. Going forward when in practice be weightless Koko, allow Vinny to feel the invisible resistance by showing him how loose his is. In the same token thank you for not treating Vinny like a prop in your solo Koko. Both partners where visible 100% of the time. Overall he could use some more body contact as the gapping was tremendous when it need not to be, and his legs are wooden but not terribly as we saw in his Salsa and in this number's runs his legs can articulate. Final note, tuck in that bum more, and that hairstyle made me think of Alan. Speaking of Alan and JJD she did much better than her debut, but her main struggle is in her reliance and shakiness in her partnership. She clings too much, but then also gets lost out of hold. Like Koko Alan needs to get that resistance between them sharpened, but on top of that Jessie needs to practice her solo work in front of a group. She hesitates a tad, especially in the upper body which is why she ends up throwing what could be gorgeous lines away, but her legs are fantastic just need a skosh more polish in the direction she intends on going. Overall though a step in the right direction, but just make sure your foot plants in that correct direction.
7th - Selma and Sasha
For what it's worth she coped very well, but this dance exposed the major flaw this partnership has. Sasha's uninspired choreography, now if Daniel and Selma swapped partners and did the jive the other celebrity had done (Selma boogie club Jive and Daniel more gymnastics) I think I would've liked both much better. Sasha!!! choreograph to Selma's strengths not yours, as it's obvious the gimmicks will be good, but she practically needed a cryopod off stage left after her critiques. If you kept it lower to the ground, and more swing I bet Selma would've had a much better turnout in the jive. What I did like is her top was as still as a morning fog rolling in gently over the action packed lower body. It was perfect in terms of light and shade, and it was nice seeing Selma play around with her capabilities, but that handspring could've gone horribly bad. Her leg did lock in the end sequence, but other than that this isn't her best but I blame Sasha.
8th - Joseph and Alexis*
Joseph started very strong and had some fantastic moments with Alexis. Also is my man's actually bi? Like his flirtation is off the charts with both men and women, but that's not what this is about. So I'm trying to wrap my head around what CAI says she saw, and I think what she saw is what I did too. It was not a lift, it was a rotation that had to much space between Joe's ankles, he trips just a smidgen, and I guess it hid Alexis' foot long enough to lift police to become sus. Okay I see where she thought there was a lift, but Alexis played it off well. When on foot left the ground she planted the other, so I'm gonna say not a lift. What really surprises me is his gentility especially in his hands, he doesn't cup Alexis' hands he wraps them, but out of all his qualities I can't give Joe enough credit in his ability to recover quickly after a wobble. Also he worked on his legs!!!
9th - Trevor and Emma
Someone get me a barf bag, and smack Alfonso for me. I've never felt more vicariously mortified in my life… no discredit to Trevor if he likes Emma that's lovely and all, but seriously tone down the showmance or next week Trevor will be dancing with Peta/Kat (excuse the unexpected Hunger Games reference lol) because it's not the time or the place. As for the dancing, I don't get the hype, was it better than most men can do period? Not really. Was the emotional content better than the dancing? Yes, so much that Jessie James Decker is taking notes on how to fake it. Okay, his weight transitions were not terrible, but that's about as positive I can be about this dance. When you dance Rumba the footwork in like digging your foot into the sands and dragging out the extension, which is how the hips work in this dance, and speaking of hips his where moving about .01 percent of the time in this Rumba. Everything stems from the ground up, so if the footwork isn't on base the whole frame gets disjointed, and the upper lines get distorted. Beautiful lines can still be beautiful, but if they aren't placed right it's just average. That's the best word I can think of for this, average. I think he's in trouble, and they overscored him to keep him out of the bottom.
10th - Cheryl and Louis
Okay, I'm just gonna say it, I think Cheryl is actually gonna be more of a Samba dancer than a ballroom dancer. The fan at the beginning had so much potential, and it was perhaps the highlight of the dance for me. I think she could've done better with another latin dance. There's something to be said about ballroom Tango, in that the feet placement and slightly bent knee are vital to getting the frame and feel of the Tango. Without it everything is very top heavy and discombobulated, she lost her frame, regained it. Lost her footing in the bobble, and recovered but the biggest thing was her timing went out the door at the end because of the way it panned out. I think if she had an Argentine Tango it would've been more fun and cheeky that she could get more control for when she would've had ballroom Tango. One thing you can admire about this is she is able to recover when she can, and sometimes even cover up mistakes such as in her cha cha last week.
2022.06.10 02:36 GlitzyHavoc 1000+ Albums Daft Punk Fans Should Check Out Current Backlog as of 6/9
Agar Agar - The Dog and the Future
Alex Gopher - My New Remixes
AllttA - Facing Giants
Allure - Divine
Allure - Opera
Allure - Obsession
Allure - Clair De Lune
Amherst - Like Now
André & Gildas - Kitsuné Parisien
AnTgry - Road Trip
Arj Snoek - Albert Gabriel
Armless Kid - La tombée du rideau EP
Armless Kid - One Tap Mid but Bomb Is Long
Arnaud Rebotini - Music Components
Aron Ottignon - Team Aquatic
Automelodi - Mirages au futur verre-brisé
b. Bravo - Paradise
Bambounou - Centrum
Barbwalters - Reconnect
Barbwalters - Innocent
Bellaire - Saint Amour
Bellaire - Paris City Jazz
Bellaire - Framework
Bellaire & Georges - Contrasts
Bellaire - Date at the Disco
Ben Browning - Lover Motion
Ben Browning - Turns
Ben Browning - Even Though
Ben Browning - Until We Win
Ben Mono - Hit the Bit
Beni - House of Beni
Birds Escape - Birds Escape
Bizarre Inc - Surprise
Blu DeTiger - How Did We Get Here?
Bon Entendeur - Aller-retour
Bon Entendeur - Minuit
Bonde do Rolê - With Lasers
Bonde do Rolê - Marina Gasolina
Boy 8-Bit - Baltic Pine EP
Boy 8-Bit - Madrigal
Boy 8-Bit - Night Terrors
Broke One - The Leftovers
Canyons - Keep Your Dreams
CatWAVE 1986 - Spaceship
Chevron - Renaissance
Chicken Lips - Echoman
Chicken Lips - Making Faces
Chicken Lips - Experience of Malfunction
Chicks on Speed - Will Save Us All
Chinese Man - The Groove Sessions, Vol. 2
Close to the Sun - Instant Memories
Collarbones - Futurity
Computor Rockers - Galaxy Defenders
ConsciousThoughts - Volume 1
Cowboy Rhythmbox - Tanz Exotique
Crystal Fighters - Cave Rave
CSS - Donkey
CSS - La Liberación
CSS - Planta
Curtis - Transfer
Curtis Mayfield - Sweet Exorcist
Daisies - Cherries
Daisies - Sour Melody
Daisies & Rap Class - Daisies in the Studio with DJ Rap Class
Dance System - Dance System EP
Dance System - System Preferences
Darwin Deez - Darwin Deez: 10 Yearz
Degiheugi - Endless Smile
Desired - Plastic Whatever
Desired - Best Before 1998
Desired - Momo Club
Disko Drunkards - Disko Drunkards
Dirty House Crew - Dirt
DJ Pone - Radiant
DJ Q - Twentyfourseven
DJ Steaw - Fall in Love
DJ Steaw - Rise
DMX Krew - Nu Romantix
DMX Krew - We Are DMX
DMX Krew - Kiss Goodbye
DMX Krew - The March to the Stars
DMX Krew - The Game
DMX Krew - East Side Boogie
DMX Krew - Decaying World
DMX Krew - Shape Shifting Shaman
DMX Krew - You Exist
DMX Krew - Mini-Owner
DMX Krew - Generic Wizard
DMX Krew - The Wiggly Worm
DMX Krew - Peripheral Visions
DMX Krew - Glad to Be Sad
DMX Krew - Computor Heart
DMX Krew - Don't You Wanna Play?
Doktor Plekter - Kriminell EP
Dopplereffekt - Gesamtkunstwerk
Dopplereffekt - Cellular Automata
Dragonette - Fixin to Thrill
Drixxxé - NSFW
Dub Striker - Peyssonnel Groove
DWNTWN - Cowboys
DWNTWN - The Red Room
DWNTWN - DWNTWN
DWNTWN - Racing Time
Earth Trax - LP1
Earth Trax - LP2
ED. - Pool Party
Ed DMX - Analogue Lounge & Analogue Boogie
Eiffel 65 - Contact!
Eli Escobar - Up All Night
Eli Escobar - Happiness
Eli Escobar - Shout
Emil & Friends - Downed Economy
Emil & Friends - Lo & Behold
Enfant Sauvage - Petrichor
Eric D. Clark - Fur Dancefloor
Eric D. Clark - E=dC²
ESPRIT 空想 - 200% Electronica
Factory Floor - Factory Floor
Factory Floor - 25 25
Fennec - Free Us of This Feeling
FIBRE! - 810
FIBRE - Rendezvous
Fortune - Blackboard
Frankmusik - Complete Me
Frankmusik - Do It In the AM
Free Radicals - Lofi Hi NRG
French 79 - Joshua
Fuel Fandango - Fuel Fandango
Funk Empire - Music
Funk Empire - Night Tracks
Gabriel Gurnsey - Physical
Gen Hoshino - POP VIRUS
George Clanton - 100% Electronica
George Clanton - Slide
George Clanton & Nick Hexum - George Clanton & Nick Hexum
Ghost Beach - Blonde
Gilb'R - Lord of the Basics
Glass Animals - ZABA
Hans Nieswandt - Lazer Muzik
Hans Nieswandt - The True Sound Center
Hercules & Love Affair - Blue Songs
Herr Styler - Double Sided Paper
Herr Styler - Happiness Was a Light Sleeper
Hiroki Esashika - JAPAN GROOVE EP
Hiroki Esashika - Romance Road EP
Hiroki Esashika - Planetarium EP
Hiroki Esashika - Furisode EP
Hiroki Esashika - Ake
Hocus Pocus - 73 Touches
Hocus Pocus - Place 54
Horsepower - The Deepest Bass
Jabberwocky - Lunar Lane
Jamaica - Ventura
Jamie Lidell - Compass
Jamie Lidell - Jamie Lidell
Jamie Lidell - Building a Beginning
Janeret - Beyond
Jean-Michel Jarre - Oxygene 7-13
Jean-Michel Jarre - Oxygene 3
Jean Nipon - Put It in the Trunk
Jean Nipon - Nice Seeing You EP
Jean Nipon & The Magendie High School - Industry Steal, Vol. 2
Justus Köhncke - Spiralen Der Erinnerung
Justus Köhncke - Was ist Musik
Justus Köhncke - Doppelleben
Justus Köhncke - Safe and Sound
Justus Köhncke - Justus Köhncke & the Wonderful Frequency Band
Juveniles - Without Warning
Kano - Another Life
Kap Bambino - Zero Life Night Vision
Kap Bambino - Blacklist
Kazy Lambist - 33 000 FT.
Kid Simius - Planet of the Simius
Kindness - Otherness
Klaxons - Surfing the Void
Klaxons - Love Frequency
Kostrok - Samana
Kostrok - Mundo
Kyem - Born in June
La fine équipe - La boulangerie 2
La fine équipe - La boulangerie, Vol. 3
La fine équipe - La boulangerie (Back Burners)
La fine équipe - 5th Season
LBCK - The Goods
Le Phunk - Archives: 2009 - 2013
Le Phunk - Archives: 2014 - 2017
Le Phunk - Fake Tan
Leo Pol - Be Mine
Letherette - Last Night on the Planet
Limit - Limit
L'Impératrice - L'Impératrice
L'Impératrice - Sonate Pacifique
L'Impératrice - Odyssée
Lokoy - Badminton
Lone - Reality Testing
LOOK MUM NO COMPUTER - Human Procrastination
LOOK MUM NO COMPUTER - These Songs Are Obsolete
Lorenz Rhode - Risa
Lorenz Rhode - Le Noir EP
L-Vis 1990 - Circuits
Lynda - Lynda Tapes [2018-2020]
Mad Rey - Quartier Sex
Mad Rey - Balabushka
Madcat - Petite musique de chanvre
Madcat - Queens of sand
Mandroid - Electro Freaks Rehab Clinic
Mandroid - B-Boy No Comply
Mandroid - Futurefunk
Marina Trench - Signature, Pt. 1
Marina Trench - Signature, Pt. 2
Marina Trench - Waterside EP
Marina Trench - Over There
Marina Trench - Free Mind
Martin Solveig - Hedonist
Martin Solveig - C'Est La Vie
Mc Luvin - Animal
MC Solaar - Qui sème le vent récolte le tempo
MC Solaar - Prose combat
MC Solaar - Paradisiaque
MC Solaar - MC Solaar
Members Only - Best Picture
Mercer - Neo Disco EP
Mercer - Neo Disco 2 EP
Mercer - Neo Disco 3
MEZERG - Chez Mezerg
m-flo - エキスポ防衛ロボット「GRAN SONIK」
m-flo - Astromantic Charm School
m-flo - Dope・Space・Nine
m-flo - electriCOLOR - COMPLETE REMIX
m-flo - BACK2THEFUTURETHEALBUM
Miel De Montagne - Miel De Montagne
Mighty Mouse - Song with No Word
Miho Hatori - Between Isekai and Slice of Life
millennium parade - THE MILLENNIUM PARADE
Miss Kittin - I Com
Miss Kittin - BatBox
Miss Kittin - Calling From the Stars
Miss Kittin - Cosmos
Moe Shop - Moe Moe
Mother Tereco - Oracle
Neon Bunny - Happy Ending
N*E*R*D - In Search of... [Electronic Version]
Night Tempo - Night Tempo
Night Tempo - Funk to the Future
Nightcrawlers - Let's Push It
NINA - The Beginning
NINA - Sleepwalking
NINA - Synthian
No Kiss with Gloss - Sun Glasses
Nukumachi - Special Occasions
Nukumachi - Atsuko
Octa Octa - Where Are We Going?
Octa Octa - Resonant Body
Oden & Fatzo x Herr Krank - The Shapeshifter EP
Oklou - Galore
Pablo Decoder - High Bolt / Turbo / Zurich Boys
Patrick Holland - Reality Picture
Patterns - Dangerous Intentions
Peaches - Impeach My Bush
Peaches - I Feel Cream
Peaches - Rub
Pejzaż - Ostatni Dzień Lata
Pejzaż - Blues
Pet Shop Boys - Please
Pet Shop Boys - Very
Phil Weeks - Love Affair
Phil Weeks - Pimpin' Ain't Easy
Pitchben - Pitchslap
Planetary Assault Systems - The Electric Funk Machine
Plastic Bertrand - Dandy Bandit
P-MODEL - Perspective
Polo & Pan - Dorothy
Polo & Pan - Cyclorama
Pompeya - Tropical
Pop Up - Flavored
Pop Up - Tasty
Pop Up - Smooth
Primary 1 - Mess Detective
Primary 1 - Other People
Prince - Sign O' the Times
Princess Superstar - Strictly Platinum
PRIVATE - My Secret Lover
Project Pablo - I Want to Believe
Project Pablo - Come to Canada You Will Like It
Punches - Sleepless City
Radio Ink - Rocket
Radio Slave - Feel the Same
RAM RIDER - Portable Disco
Randee Jean - Extended Player
Raydio - Rock On
Real Lies - Real Life
REFLEX - Lucid Dreams
Riva Starr - Scratch N' Itch
Ross Couch - Travelogue
Ruth - Polaroïd/Roman/Photo
Ryme - Bak Den
sakanaction - sakanaction
sakanaction - 834.194
Sally Shapiro - My Guilty Pleasure
Sally Shapiro - Somewhere Else
Savage - Muzak EP
Sayem - Phonogénique
Sayem - A City Gone Mad with Fever
Selebrities - Delusions
Selebrities - Lovely Things
Shaka Ponk - Bad Porn Movie Trax
Shaka Ponk - The Geeks and the Jerkin' Socks
She said disco - Gold Shore
Shiba San - All About Booty EP
Shit Robot - From the Cradle to the Rave
Shit Robot - We Got a Love
Shook - The Glow EP
Shook - The Rise and Fall
Sir Drew - Feet First
SOFTWAR - Softwar
SOFTWAR - This Time Around
Soul Machine - Phanerosphene, Pt. I
Soul Machine - Phanerosphene, Pt. II
Sound Support - Clavi on the Rocks
Space Cowboy - Space Cowboy: The Collection
St. Lucia - When the Night
Subtle Tease - The Goings of an Offer
Sure - 20 Years
Svinkels - Tapis rouge
Svinkels - Bons pour l'asile
Svinkels - Dirty Centre
Sweely - Beauty Is Random
Szapat - Osiria
Szapat - A Rare 1.0
Tacteel - Je Ne Vous Oublierai Pas.
Tahiti 80 - Activity Center
Teengirl Fantasy - 7AM
Teengirl Fantasy - Tracer
Tendencies - Pristine
Tesla Boy - The Universe Made of Darkness
The Blaze - DANCEHALL
The Cars - Heartbeat City
The Crystal Method - The Trip Home
The Glimmers - The Glimmers Are Gee Gee Fazzi
The Glimmers - Whomp That Sucker!
The Isley Brothers - Go for Your Guns
The Phantom - The Phantom EP
The Phantom - MC 1
The Phantom - Rhythms & Moods
The Phantom - Ocean
The Preatures - Blue Planet Eyes
The Sound of Arrows - Voyage
The Supermen Lovers - Absolute Disco EP
The Supermen Lovers - Walking on the Moon
The Young Punx - Mashpop and Punkstep
Tim Paris - Dancers
Tokyo Wanderer - Incubus
Tomas Barfod - Salton Sea
Tommie Sunshine - Relax, This Won't Hurt
Tommy Guerrero - Dub Tunes
Toro y Moi - Samantha
Trimmy - Trimm Dich! International
Triptik - Microphonorama
UniBe@t - Junk V2
UniBe@t - Retired
UniBe@t - Ghetto Fantasy
UniBe@t - Working Memories
UNKLE - Never, Never, Land
UNKLE - War Stories
Utku S - Lick My Ass EP
Valentino Mora - Underwater
Vanbot - Vanbot
Vantage - Metro City
Vantage - Digital Daybreak
Vantage - 1998 City
Vantage - J-Funk City : Vantage's Edits Collection
WhoMadeWho - Knee Deep
WhoMadeWho - Brighter
Winter - Endless Space (Between You & I)
Workerz - Fake Friends
Workerz - Jizz @ Jazz
Wunder Wunder - Everything Infinite
Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Fever to Tell
Zimmer - Horizontal Disco
Zimmer - Coming of Age
Zimmer - Ceremony
Zimmer - Zimmer
Various Artists - Miami Noize 6 [Boysnoize Records]
Various Artists - Miami Noize 7 [Boysnoize Records]
Various Artists - 10 Years of Cheap Thrills
Various Artists - Paris Club Music, Vol. 1 [ClekClekBoom]
Various Artists - Paris Club Music, Vol. 2 [ClekClekBoom]
Various Artists - Paris Club Music, Vol. 3 [ClekClekBoom]
Various Artists - Royal Club, Vol. 3 [Disco Motion Records]
Various Artists - Royal Club, Vol. 4 [Disco Motion Records]
Various Artists - Bucket of Love, Vol. 2 [Discotexas]
Various Artists - Santa Claude [D.KO Records]
Various Artists - Santa Claude, Vol. 2 [D.KO Records]
Various Artists - Milestone [Electronic Gems]
Various Artists - Fool's Gold Clubhouse, Vol. 2
Various Artists - Fool's Gold Clubhouse, Vol. 3
Various Artists - Fool's Gold Clubhouse, Vol. 4
Various Artists - Fool's Gold Clubhouse, Vol. 5
Various Artists - Loosies [Fool's Gold Records]
Various Artists - Night Shift [Fool's Gold Records]
Various Artists - Déshabillez-moi EP [HEARTCAKE]
Various Artists - Kitsuné America 3
Various Artists - Kitsuné America 4
Various Artists - Kitsuné America 5: The NBA Edition
Various Artists - House Kitsuné America
Various Artists - Kitsuné America 6: The West Coast Edition
Various Artists - Kitsuné Parisien 4
Various Artists - Kitsuné Parisien (The Art-de-vivre Issue)
Various Artists - Kitsuné Parisien (The Antique Olive Issue)
Various Artists - Kitsuné New Faces
Various Artists - Kitsuné New Faces II
Various Artists - Kudatah, Vol. 2
Various Artists - Kudatah, Vol. 3
Various Artists - Magnatron 2.0 [NewRetroWave]
Various Artists - Magnatron III [NewRetroWave]
Various Artists - Nocturnal [Nightfall Records]
Various Artists - Those Guys EP [Ondulé Recordings]
Various Artists - Psych 202 [Psycho Disco!]
Various Artists - Psych 303 [Psycho Disco!]
Various Artists - Space Factory: Catalogue
Various Artists - Space Factory: Datalogue
Various Artists - Summer Waves, Vol. 2 [Stardust Records]
Various Artists - Summer Waves, Vol. 3 [Stardust Records]
Various Artists - Summer Waves, Vol. 4 [Stardust Records]
Various Artists - Summer Waves, Vol. 5 [Stardust Records]
Various Artists - Summer Waves, Vol. 6 [Stardust Records]
submitted by GlitzyHavoc to u/GlitzyHavoc [link] [comments]
Alex Gopher - My New Remixes
AllttA - Facing Giants
Allure - Divine
Allure - Opera
Allure - Obsession
Allure - Clair De Lune
Amherst - Like Now
André & Gildas - Kitsuné Parisien
AnTgry - Road Trip
Arj Snoek - Albert Gabriel
Armless Kid - La tombée du rideau EP
Armless Kid - One Tap Mid but Bomb Is Long
Arnaud Rebotini - Music Components
Aron Ottignon - Team Aquatic
Automelodi - Mirages au futur verre-brisé
b. Bravo - Paradise
Bambounou - Centrum
Barbwalters - Reconnect
Barbwalters - Innocent
Bellaire - Saint Amour
Bellaire - Paris City Jazz
Bellaire - Framework
Bellaire & Georges - Contrasts
Bellaire - Date at the Disco
Ben Browning - Lover Motion
Ben Browning - Turns
Ben Browning - Even Though
Ben Browning - Until We Win
Ben Mono - Hit the Bit
Beni - House of Beni
Birds Escape - Birds Escape
Bizarre Inc - Surprise
Blu DeTiger - How Did We Get Here?
Bon Entendeur - Aller-retour
Bon Entendeur - Minuit
Bonde do Rolê - With Lasers
Bonde do Rolê - Marina Gasolina
Boy 8-Bit - Baltic Pine EP
Boy 8-Bit - Madrigal
Boy 8-Bit - Night Terrors
Broke One - The Leftovers
Canyons - Keep Your Dreams
CatWAVE 1986 - Spaceship
Chevron - Renaissance
Chicken Lips - Echoman
Chicken Lips - Making Faces
Chicken Lips - Experience of Malfunction
Chicks on Speed - Will Save Us All
Chinese Man - The Groove Sessions, Vol. 2
Close to the Sun - Instant Memories
Collarbones - Futurity
Computor Rockers - Galaxy Defenders
ConsciousThoughts - Volume 1
Cowboy Rhythmbox - Tanz Exotique
Crystal Fighters - Cave Rave
CSS - Donkey
CSS - La Liberación
CSS - Planta
Curtis - Transfer
Curtis Mayfield - Sweet Exorcist
Daisies - Cherries
Daisies - Sour Melody
Daisies & Rap Class - Daisies in the Studio with DJ Rap Class
Dance System - Dance System EP
Dance System - System Preferences
Darwin Deez - Darwin Deez: 10 Yearz
Degiheugi - Endless Smile
Desired - Plastic Whatever
Desired - Best Before 1998
Desired - Momo Club
Disko Drunkards - Disko Drunkards
Dirty House Crew - Dirt
DJ Pone - Radiant
DJ Q - Twentyfourseven
DJ Steaw - Fall in Love
DJ Steaw - Rise
DMX Krew - Nu Romantix
DMX Krew - We Are DMX
DMX Krew - Kiss Goodbye
DMX Krew - The March to the Stars
DMX Krew - The Game
DMX Krew - East Side Boogie
DMX Krew - Decaying World
DMX Krew - Shape Shifting Shaman
DMX Krew - You Exist
DMX Krew - Mini-Owner
DMX Krew - Generic Wizard
DMX Krew - The Wiggly Worm
DMX Krew - Peripheral Visions
DMX Krew - Glad to Be Sad
DMX Krew - Computor Heart
DMX Krew - Don't You Wanna Play?
Doktor Plekter - Kriminell EP
Dopplereffekt - Gesamtkunstwerk
Dopplereffekt - Cellular Automata
Dragonette - Fixin to Thrill
Drixxxé - NSFW
Dub Striker - Peyssonnel Groove
DWNTWN - Cowboys
DWNTWN - The Red Room
DWNTWN - DWNTWN
DWNTWN - Racing Time
Earth Trax - LP1
Earth Trax - LP2
ED. - Pool Party
Ed DMX - Analogue Lounge & Analogue Boogie
Eiffel 65 - Contact!
Eli Escobar - Up All Night
Eli Escobar - Happiness
Eli Escobar - Shout
Emil & Friends - Downed Economy
Emil & Friends - Lo & Behold
Enfant Sauvage - Petrichor
Eric D. Clark - Fur Dancefloor
Eric D. Clark - E=dC²
ESPRIT 空想 - 200% Electronica
Factory Floor - Factory Floor
Factory Floor - 25 25
Fennec - Free Us of This Feeling
FIBRE! - 810
FIBRE - Rendezvous
Fortune - Blackboard
Frankmusik - Complete Me
Frankmusik - Do It In the AM
Free Radicals - Lofi Hi NRG
French 79 - Joshua
Fuel Fandango - Fuel Fandango
Funk Empire - Music
Funk Empire - Night Tracks
Gabriel Gurnsey - Physical
Gen Hoshino - POP VIRUS
George Clanton - 100% Electronica
George Clanton - Slide
George Clanton & Nick Hexum - George Clanton & Nick Hexum
Ghost Beach - Blonde
Gilb'R - Lord of the Basics
Glass Animals - ZABA
Hans Nieswandt - Lazer Muzik
Hans Nieswandt - The True Sound Center
Hercules & Love Affair - Blue Songs
Herr Styler - Double Sided Paper
Herr Styler - Happiness Was a Light Sleeper
Hiroki Esashika - JAPAN GROOVE EP
Hiroki Esashika - Romance Road EP
Hiroki Esashika - Planetarium EP
Hiroki Esashika - Furisode EP
Hiroki Esashika - Ake
Hocus Pocus - 73 Touches
Hocus Pocus - Place 54
Horsepower - The Deepest Bass
Jabberwocky - Lunar Lane
Jamaica - Ventura
Jamie Lidell - Compass
Jamie Lidell - Jamie Lidell
Jamie Lidell - Building a Beginning
Janeret - Beyond
Jean-Michel Jarre - Oxygene 7-13
Jean-Michel Jarre - Oxygene 3
Jean Nipon - Put It in the Trunk
Jean Nipon - Nice Seeing You EP
Jean Nipon & The Magendie High School - Industry Steal, Vol. 2
Justus Köhncke - Spiralen Der Erinnerung
Justus Köhncke - Was ist Musik
Justus Köhncke - Doppelleben
Justus Köhncke - Safe and Sound
Justus Köhncke - Justus Köhncke & the Wonderful Frequency Band
Juveniles - Without Warning
Kano - Another Life
Kap Bambino - Zero Life Night Vision
Kap Bambino - Blacklist
Kazy Lambist - 33 000 FT.
Kid Simius - Planet of the Simius
Kindness - Otherness
Klaxons - Surfing the Void
Klaxons - Love Frequency
Kostrok - Samana
Kostrok - Mundo
Kyem - Born in June
La fine équipe - La boulangerie 2
La fine équipe - La boulangerie, Vol. 3
La fine équipe - La boulangerie (Back Burners)
La fine équipe - 5th Season
LBCK - The Goods
Le Phunk - Archives: 2009 - 2013
Le Phunk - Archives: 2014 - 2017
Le Phunk - Fake Tan
Leo Pol - Be Mine
Letherette - Last Night on the Planet
Limit - Limit
L'Impératrice - L'Impératrice
L'Impératrice - Sonate Pacifique
L'Impératrice - Odyssée
Lokoy - Badminton
Lone - Reality Testing
LOOK MUM NO COMPUTER - Human Procrastination
LOOK MUM NO COMPUTER - These Songs Are Obsolete
Lorenz Rhode - Risa
Lorenz Rhode - Le Noir EP
L-Vis 1990 - Circuits
Lynda - Lynda Tapes [2018-2020]
Mad Rey - Quartier Sex
Mad Rey - Balabushka
Madcat - Petite musique de chanvre
Madcat - Queens of sand
Mandroid - Electro Freaks Rehab Clinic
Mandroid - B-Boy No Comply
Mandroid - Futurefunk
Marina Trench - Signature, Pt. 1
Marina Trench - Signature, Pt. 2
Marina Trench - Waterside EP
Marina Trench - Over There
Marina Trench - Free Mind
Martin Solveig - Hedonist
Martin Solveig - C'Est La Vie
Mc Luvin - Animal
MC Solaar - Qui sème le vent récolte le tempo
MC Solaar - Prose combat
MC Solaar - Paradisiaque
MC Solaar - MC Solaar
Members Only - Best Picture
Mercer - Neo Disco EP
Mercer - Neo Disco 2 EP
Mercer - Neo Disco 3
MEZERG - Chez Mezerg
m-flo - エキスポ防衛ロボット「GRAN SONIK」
m-flo - Astromantic Charm School
m-flo - Dope・Space・Nine
m-flo - electriCOLOR - COMPLETE REMIX
m-flo - BACK2THEFUTURETHEALBUM
Miel De Montagne - Miel De Montagne
Mighty Mouse - Song with No Word
Miho Hatori - Between Isekai and Slice of Life
millennium parade - THE MILLENNIUM PARADE
Miss Kittin - I Com
Miss Kittin - BatBox
Miss Kittin - Calling From the Stars
Miss Kittin - Cosmos
Moe Shop - Moe Moe
Mother Tereco - Oracle
Neon Bunny - Happy Ending
N*E*R*D - In Search of... [Electronic Version]
Night Tempo - Night Tempo
Night Tempo - Funk to the Future
Nightcrawlers - Let's Push It
NINA - The Beginning
NINA - Sleepwalking
NINA - Synthian
No Kiss with Gloss - Sun Glasses
Nukumachi - Special Occasions
Nukumachi - Atsuko
Octa Octa - Where Are We Going?
Octa Octa - Resonant Body
Oden & Fatzo x Herr Krank - The Shapeshifter EP
Oklou - Galore
Pablo Decoder - High Bolt / Turbo / Zurich Boys
Patrick Holland - Reality Picture
Patterns - Dangerous Intentions
Peaches - Impeach My Bush
Peaches - I Feel Cream
Peaches - Rub
Pejzaż - Ostatni Dzień Lata
Pejzaż - Blues
Pet Shop Boys - Please
Pet Shop Boys - Very
Phil Weeks - Love Affair
Phil Weeks - Pimpin' Ain't Easy
Pitchben - Pitchslap
Planetary Assault Systems - The Electric Funk Machine
Plastic Bertrand - Dandy Bandit
P-MODEL - Perspective
Polo & Pan - Dorothy
Polo & Pan - Cyclorama
Pompeya - Tropical
Pop Up - Flavored
Pop Up - Tasty
Pop Up - Smooth
Primary 1 - Mess Detective
Primary 1 - Other People
Prince - Sign O' the Times
Princess Superstar - Strictly Platinum
PRIVATE - My Secret Lover
Project Pablo - I Want to Believe
Project Pablo - Come to Canada You Will Like It
Punches - Sleepless City
Radio Ink - Rocket
Radio Slave - Feel the Same
RAM RIDER - Portable Disco
Randee Jean - Extended Player
Raydio - Rock On
Real Lies - Real Life
REFLEX - Lucid Dreams
Riva Starr - Scratch N' Itch
Ross Couch - Travelogue
Ruth - Polaroïd/Roman/Photo
Ryme - Bak Den
sakanaction - sakanaction
sakanaction - 834.194
Sally Shapiro - My Guilty Pleasure
Sally Shapiro - Somewhere Else
Savage - Muzak EP
Sayem - Phonogénique
Sayem - A City Gone Mad with Fever
Selebrities - Delusions
Selebrities - Lovely Things
Shaka Ponk - Bad Porn Movie Trax
Shaka Ponk - The Geeks and the Jerkin' Socks
She said disco - Gold Shore
Shiba San - All About Booty EP
Shit Robot - From the Cradle to the Rave
Shit Robot - We Got a Love
Shook - The Glow EP
Shook - The Rise and Fall
Sir Drew - Feet First
SOFTWAR - Softwar
SOFTWAR - This Time Around
Soul Machine - Phanerosphene, Pt. I
Soul Machine - Phanerosphene, Pt. II
Sound Support - Clavi on the Rocks
Space Cowboy - Space Cowboy: The Collection
St. Lucia - When the Night
Subtle Tease - The Goings of an Offer
Sure - 20 Years
Svinkels - Tapis rouge
Svinkels - Bons pour l'asile
Svinkels - Dirty Centre
Sweely - Beauty Is Random
Szapat - Osiria
Szapat - A Rare 1.0
Tacteel - Je Ne Vous Oublierai Pas.
Tahiti 80 - Activity Center
Teengirl Fantasy - 7AM
Teengirl Fantasy - Tracer
Tendencies - Pristine
Tesla Boy - The Universe Made of Darkness
The Blaze - DANCEHALL
The Cars - Heartbeat City
The Crystal Method - The Trip Home
The Glimmers - The Glimmers Are Gee Gee Fazzi
The Glimmers - Whomp That Sucker!
The Isley Brothers - Go for Your Guns
The Phantom - The Phantom EP
The Phantom - MC 1
The Phantom - Rhythms & Moods
The Phantom - Ocean
The Preatures - Blue Planet Eyes
The Sound of Arrows - Voyage
The Supermen Lovers - Absolute Disco EP
The Supermen Lovers - Walking on the Moon
The Young Punx - Mashpop and Punkstep
Tim Paris - Dancers
Tokyo Wanderer - Incubus
Tomas Barfod - Salton Sea
Tommie Sunshine - Relax, This Won't Hurt
Tommy Guerrero - Dub Tunes
Toro y Moi - Samantha
Trimmy - Trimm Dich! International
Triptik - Microphonorama
UniBe@t - Junk V2
UniBe@t - Retired
UniBe@t - Ghetto Fantasy
UniBe@t - Working Memories
UNKLE - Never, Never, Land
UNKLE - War Stories
Utku S - Lick My Ass EP
Valentino Mora - Underwater
Vanbot - Vanbot
Vantage - Metro City
Vantage - Digital Daybreak
Vantage - 1998 City
Vantage - J-Funk City : Vantage's Edits Collection
WhoMadeWho - Knee Deep
WhoMadeWho - Brighter
Winter - Endless Space (Between You & I)
Workerz - Fake Friends
Workerz - Jizz @ Jazz
Wunder Wunder - Everything Infinite
Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Fever to Tell
Zimmer - Horizontal Disco
Zimmer - Coming of Age
Zimmer - Ceremony
Zimmer - Zimmer
Various Artists - Miami Noize 6 [Boysnoize Records]
Various Artists - Miami Noize 7 [Boysnoize Records]
Various Artists - 10 Years of Cheap Thrills
Various Artists - Paris Club Music, Vol. 1 [ClekClekBoom]
Various Artists - Paris Club Music, Vol. 2 [ClekClekBoom]
Various Artists - Paris Club Music, Vol. 3 [ClekClekBoom]
Various Artists - Royal Club, Vol. 3 [Disco Motion Records]
Various Artists - Royal Club, Vol. 4 [Disco Motion Records]
Various Artists - Bucket of Love, Vol. 2 [Discotexas]
Various Artists - Santa Claude [D.KO Records]
Various Artists - Santa Claude, Vol. 2 [D.KO Records]
Various Artists - Milestone [Electronic Gems]
Various Artists - Fool's Gold Clubhouse, Vol. 2
Various Artists - Fool's Gold Clubhouse, Vol. 3
Various Artists - Fool's Gold Clubhouse, Vol. 4
Various Artists - Fool's Gold Clubhouse, Vol. 5
Various Artists - Loosies [Fool's Gold Records]
Various Artists - Night Shift [Fool's Gold Records]
Various Artists - Déshabillez-moi EP [HEARTCAKE]
Various Artists - Kitsuné America 3
Various Artists - Kitsuné America 4
Various Artists - Kitsuné America 5: The NBA Edition
Various Artists - House Kitsuné America
Various Artists - Kitsuné America 6: The West Coast Edition
Various Artists - Kitsuné Parisien 4
Various Artists - Kitsuné Parisien (The Art-de-vivre Issue)
Various Artists - Kitsuné Parisien (The Antique Olive Issue)
Various Artists - Kitsuné New Faces
Various Artists - Kitsuné New Faces II
Various Artists - Kudatah, Vol. 2
Various Artists - Kudatah, Vol. 3
Various Artists - Magnatron 2.0 [NewRetroWave]
Various Artists - Magnatron III [NewRetroWave]
Various Artists - Nocturnal [Nightfall Records]
Various Artists - Those Guys EP [Ondulé Recordings]
Various Artists - Psych 202 [Psycho Disco!]
Various Artists - Psych 303 [Psycho Disco!]
Various Artists - Space Factory: Catalogue
Various Artists - Space Factory: Datalogue
Various Artists - Summer Waves, Vol. 2 [Stardust Records]
Various Artists - Summer Waves, Vol. 3 [Stardust Records]
Various Artists - Summer Waves, Vol. 4 [Stardust Records]
Various Artists - Summer Waves, Vol. 5 [Stardust Records]
Various Artists - Summer Waves, Vol. 6 [Stardust Records]
2021.08.02 14:47 Trash_Tia I'm being forced to act out a kids cartoon for children with serious issues.
Even before I was kidnapped, it was already the worst night of my life.
Freshly fired from my job as a pizza girl and too scared to go home and tell my parents I was in fact a waste of space, I found myself where every other nineteen year old kidult with no life and barely any cash would go. A club.
The place wasn't exactly the height of New York and the outside smelled of piss, but it was a distraction. And I really needed a distraction. I needed to not think about my life that was slowly crumbling apart, coming apart by the seams. I didn't want to think about what mom's expression would be when I told her I was fired – again. In the mess which was my brain, the only possible cure to my shitty mood and to not feel anything... at least for the next few hours, was alcohol. And dancing. I needed to dance and sing and drink and whatever, to forget that I was a disgrace to society. The pizza job was shit, anyway. It was meagre cash and the pizza's smelled like barf.
I'd like to say it wasn't an accident when I spilled Coke all over a customer, because I hated the owners. They treated their staff, who all happened to be like me--- broke ass college dropouts—like dirt. But it was my fault. I was too busy dancing to the radio, not really paying much attention.
The customer, a woman in maybe her mid 40's with straw-like hair and stains on her blouse, had been heading over to me, probably to yell at me for something out of my control, and we collided. It was pretty comical. Coke went everywhere. On her, on me, on the poor kid behind the counter. All resulting in my inevitable firing. But I was glad. I didn't want to work there. I was only working there for cash.
First, before I get into my story, and the reason you clicked on this-- I want to get several things straight. I am not a waste of space. I was something—at least that's what I like to tell myself.
Yes, I lived with my mom, and yes I was broke. Yes, I had no friends, and yes, I wasn't planning on getting another job. At least not yet. Instead I wanted to bask in my own melancholy. I wanted to dwell on my potential future which had been ripped away before I even got a taste of it. I've wanted to be an actress my whole life.
I grew up watching movies and musicals, and I wanted to be like them. Who didn't? I watched Disney Channel throughout my childhood and tweens, of course I wanted to be like Miley Cyrus and Selena Gomez. I started high school with a goal. I was going to get into a top drama school and I was going to be famous. Easier said than done. However, I was determined.
I ignored the concept of friends and socialising and studied way into weeknights. I auditioned for our school show every year and managed to score the top part every time. I'd like to say I was thriving. I threw away my high school experience to get where I wanted in life, and it worked. I graduated with a 4.0 and worked in my local café to pay for tuition. Mom saved up her whole life to provide me with the college experience I'd dreamed of. She moved to NY for a new job, so it was ideal for the both of us.
Mom moved in to a two bedroom house in southern Brooklyn, and I moved into dorms.
Though the problem was when I actually started college.
After a gruelling audition I got into The American Academy of Dramatic Arts. I was told I had talent. I was told I would go somewhere. And I believed them. I believed that I was really going to live my dream. Well. Throughout high school I barely had competition. When a freshman came along, or a kid in my year suddenly decided that they were going to have the main parts and solo's, I made sure to let them know that the parts were mine. That they would always be mine, and they were fools for even trying. Bitchy, I know. But if I was going to be a star, I was going to tear down my competition. College was where everything came crashing down.
I was a small town girl used to being in the spotlight. I was used to picking off my competition. College was when reality hit me in the face. I wasn't expecting kids like me. Exactly like me.
Kids who were obsessed with getting that limelight I craved. Kids that weren't afraid to fight each other to the death to get to the top. Crystal James was a carbon copy of me. But she was far worse. Crystal had an ego the size of a continent. Think of every mean-girl esque bitch you've seen in all those 2000's chic flicks. That was Crystal.
Her goal was to get to the top, just like me. So obviously we clashed. I'm not going to get into the details, because I don't have time, but my dream (or pipe-dream) ended at the New York Academy for Dramatic Arts, specifically the night of our final show-case.
It was our third show, and Crystal, after drinking too much champagne, had "accidentally" shoved me off stage during my performance. She insisted it was a complete accident and had bumped into me, though I'm not even sure what it was. I was knocked unconscious when I hit the ground and had fucked up my ankle. So, I was out, and Crystal was in as my understudy.
It hurt to see her play the part I had worked so hard for. It made me think. Crystal was able to snatch up my part barely having to lift a finger, and I was left in the dust. Weirdly enough, nobody suspected foul play.
My teacher told me I was being dramatic, and my classmates stuck up their noses. Better me than them. I saw it in their expressions. All they wanted was success. All they wanted was fame. So I marched, or I guess limped, to the principal's office, and told him I was done. I was quitting, and that I hoped they had a great show. He didn't try to talk me out of it. The school was full of students like me, who acted just like I did. Like spoiled, narcissistic children. I was done with that part of me, because I realised that I had hurt others to get to the top, and karma was one hell of a bitch.
And then I spat on his desk.
Fast forward several months, NYADA was less of a memory and more of a fever dream. I was standing in front of a club, in a line of maybe twenty or thirty people. Music was blaring, and it was my type of music. Maybe they were having an 80's night. Mama Mia was blasting, and the kids in the line were drunkenly jumping up and down, laughing and falling over each other.
My initial plan was to get wasted and see where the night lead. I had two crumpled twenties in my pocket. I'd posted the rest through my mom's bedroom door for rent. I wasn't dressed for clubbing, still wearing the white cotton polo shirt I wore for work, and skinny jeans. The material was sticking to my flushed skin and the night air wasn't helping. It was hot for 11pm.
I was expecting it to cool down, but even outside I was sweating. When the group of kids in front of me ducked into the club, their shadows swallowed by blinding disco lights, I shuffled forwards, already feeling self-conscious.
It had been a spontaneous idea to go to a club, despite never going to one before. I had no idea what I was doing or what I was supposed to do. All I knew that there was music and dancing, and noise. I just needed noise to drown out those existential thoughts that were driving me mad. Where was I going to be in 5 years? Was I going to be homeless? Maybe I'd somehow make it big via You-tube or Tiktok. I was weighing the positives and negatives of starting a You-tube channel, not really paying attention, when a voice startled me out of my daydream, a gruff yell over the music.
"Mask?"
At first I hadn't fully heard the bouncer. When I looked up to frown at him, he wore a scowl. The guy had bulky shoulders and thick dark hair, a sheen of sweat glistening light tanned skin. His shirt looked far too tight, cinched to thick, bulging arms. He was supposed to look intimidating, sure, but already in a sour mood, the guy was pissing me off. I had my ID, waving it in his face like a frenzied insect.
"Mask, or no entry, kid."
His words dawned on me and I reached into my bag, pulling out the crumpled mask my mom had stuffed in there a few hours earlier. I put in on quickly, my cheeks burning. "Sorry." I managed to say, and he nodded with an eyeroll. "Remember it next time," he grunted. "No mask, no entry."
Smiling my best smile, even if it was behind my mask, I ducked into the club, joining the crowd of dancers. It was beautiful. The lights and the music and the sweaty bodies slamming into me. Everybody wore a mask, but I still saw the glee and excitement and euphoria lit up their eyes. Mama Mia ended, quickly followed by Take on Me.
That was a song I liked. It was my mom's favourite. Nodding my head to the beat and letting myself sway to lyrics that were definitely not written to sway to—I pushed through dancers until I got to the bar. I can't remember what I ordered, but after several of them, and a few on the house—I started to lose myself in the music and the dancing, until my head was spinning itself off of its axis. When I ordered water, I was given something else.
Definitely another alcoholic beverage. It stung my tongue and the back of my throat. I started to feel... giddy. But I knew I was going to be sick. When I had the exit in my sight, I started towards it, but someone's arm shoved me back. Then another body slammed into me, and it felt like I was flying. Colours were magnified, and the music felt like it was in my blood, like it was inside me, each lyric trying to tear its way out.
I was laughing, I'm not sure what at, when I turned and found myself face to face with a small girl. She was maybe six or seven, with blonde hair pulled into pigtails. Her dress was bright pink with sequins, and in my state, that was what I focused on. How cool her dress looked in the flashing lights. The girl wasn't wearing a mask. She was the only one in the club who wasn't. Her smile was bright, blue eyes pinpointed on me. "Elizabeth!" the little girl shouted over the music, pointing at me. Her words confused me, but part of me wondered if I'd drank so much I was hallucinating. Or I'd been roofied.
Instead of doing what I really wanted to do, which was find somewhere to barf, I found myself following the little girl, who after doing a spin, her dress flying around her, she twisted around and ran for the exit, disappearing into grinding bodies. Looking around, nobody seemed to notice the girl except me. I wasn't thinking straight. All I cared about was seeing if I was actually losing my mind. I followed the girl, like Alice had followed the rabbit, and ended up outside the club on my hands and knees. I was barfing up my late lunch before I even knew what was happening. The world was tilted, all the colour sucked into the night. There was nobody around, only the little girl with her back to me.
She turned to face me, that bright smile still plastered on her face. "Elizabeth!" she shouted, bouncing up and down. "You're Elizabeth!"
I stood up shakily, swallowing what was trying to creep back up. "Hey there!" I said, though my voice was slurred and strange. I'd gotten drunk before, mostly at parties at college. But this was something entirely else. I could barely keep my footing. "Are you okay? You seem kind of, uhm... lost?"
The girl shook her head, her hair flying around her in a whirlwind. "Elizabeth!"
"No, I'm Saffy." I introduced myself and held out a hand. Though when I did, I nearly toppled over.
"Melanie, are you sure it's her?"
Another voice hit my eardrums. This time it was a male grumble. When I twisted around, I nearly fell again, and he grabbed my arm, steeling me. There was a man in front of me. He was tall, youngish looking. Maybe late thirties. Though I couldn't tell because he was wearing raybans. The man seemed to size me up. "Huh." He chuckled. "I mean if you're sure, Mel's. Is that all of them?"
"Uh-huh!" The little girl giggled and made her way towards me and wrapped her arms around my lower waist. She had a tight grip for how small she was. "Elizabeth."
"Saffy." I corrected. "Sapphire, if you'd like."
My words were sluggish before I barfed on the guy's fancy looking shoes, choking on the rest of my greeting. Though if anything, I found it funny.
"Sorry!" Slapping my hand over my mouth I burped, and more barf crawled up my throat, filling my mouth. I was ready to introduce the guy to what was left of my stomach lining, but before I could I was being violently shoved backwards. I was ready to hit rough concrete, though instead my back was slamming into warm leather. The temperature changed instantly, from cool night air that had finally cooled down, to somewhere inside—somewhere muggy and uncomfortable.
It was a car. But that didn't hit me until it was moving, and I found myself pressed against someone's back. There were others with me, though they were talking over each other, laughing and singing. Some guy was yelling Vine quotes, and knowing them, I joined in.
In my mind, it was an adventure. When I managed to straighten up, I stuck my head out of the window which was open, screaming into the night. I remember my hair was a whirlwind, hitting me in the face. I remember the air felt amazing against my clammy forehead. I think I started dancing, though more of a sit-down swaying jig. My head was still spinning, the deluge of passing traffic sending me more and more hyper. When I thrust my elbows back, a boy's yelp ricocheted in the back of my mind.
"Ow! Who raised you, animals?" I felt movement, sticky, sweaty skin against mine. I was greeted to a mouthful of his hair which smelled and tasted like cheap axe spray and watermelon. Ignoring him, I focused on the cool air whipping in my face. Behind me, a girl and another guy were laughing together, and I felt a sense of... solidarity. I had never had friends. Only rivals I pretended were friends.
But at that moment with my head in the clouds and my stomach in my throat, I felt like the strangers next to me were something else. I couldn't even see their faces properly. I saw glimpses every time a car flew past blinding us in dizzying light. There were two boys and a girl. At the front the same man whose shoes I'd barfed on, and next to him sat the little girl who had twisted in her chair and was singing along with the others. Revelling in my spinning head and twirling thoughts, I let my head sag against the window. The others were still shouting over each other. None of us realized where we were.
Where we were going.
I started sobering up when the laughter and shouting faded into murmurs and giggles, and then they stopped all together. The boy next to me was snoring, his head on my shoulder. I was tired, my body, my limbs, every part of me screaming for me to let myself slip into darkness. But the car was picking up momentum. We were on a highway.
Slipping in and out of awareness, I remember the car door opening and someone pulling me out. I remember stumbling forwards and almost slipping into water. Cool, refreshing water. It sparkled beneath me underneath a crescent moon. My feet were bare, though I wasn't sure when I'd taken my shoes off. I remember being escorted onto a boat. I marvelled at the size. Not exactly ferry sized, but it was the type the 1% own. You know, the elite.
We were escorted on board. Nobody was complaining or protesting. I was aware of what was going on, but I couldn't do anything. I couldn't speak or cry out. I couldn't fully move my body. It wasn't the affects of alcohol, it was something else. Something that had paralysed my limbs. I lay down on the deck and searched for stars in the darkness above me, and when the sky lightened, I watched the sun rise, a blur of cotton candy pink and white spreading across the horizon.
It was only when the first glimpses of the sun were appearing, reflecting in ocean waves lulling us back and forth, when I realised my hands were tied behind my back. Even riding between half-drunk and sober, panic filled me like poison. I managed to sit up, but my body flopped back down again, like it refused to comply.
"Hello?" My voice was a whimper. When I twisted my head to the left, the others were lying next to me fast asleep. I finally got a proper look at them. The boy next to me had chestnut hair and pale skin, glitter speckling his cheeks. He lay on his back, his eyes shut, lips parted peacefully. Next to him was a girl with shoulder length red hair and a guy with dirty blonde curls peeking from a baseball cap. They were on in club wear, t-shirts covered in sweat stains, and jeans. The girl had a heart painted on her left cheek, mascara smeared under her eyes. Their shoes had been taken too. I nudged the guy next to me, but he didn't respond. When I tried to scream, my voice came out hoarse and wrong.
Time went by slowly, and I spent it staring at the clouds and trying and failing to wrench myself out of my restraints. My wrists were stinging when footsteps sounded. They were gentle, almost like a dogs, pitter-pattering on the deck. I squeezed my eyes shut, but when the footsteps stopped in front of me, I risked cracking them open. The little girl from the night before loomed over me with the same grin.
"They're amazing!" she sang, dancing across the deck, twirling and doing little spins. "They're so much better than the other ones! They were too old and wrinkly!"
I had barely enough time to register what she was saying before the girl was flicking me in the face.
"Elizabeth!" She giggled.
Fully sober now, I shook my head, but I couldn't speak.
"You little bitch."
When I risked a glance to my left, the boy lying next to me was squirming to get up, struggling in his restraints. "Did you do this?" His voice was a soft croak, barely a yell. "Did you fucking kidnap us?"
"Kidnap?" Another voice. The redhaired girl was squeaking, rolling around trying to get up. Her sharp cries woke the other boy up, the kid with the baseball cap. Letting out an exhalation of breath, he sat up with a groan, blinking in the sunlight. I recognised his voice. He had been the one yelling Vine quotes. I had only known his laugh, the momentary flash of his sparkling grin last night in the car.
Now he looked confused, his eyes frenzied.
The little girl giggled. "Freddie doesn't swear." She said, pointing to the boy next to me. "If you swear I'll make you regret it."
The boy leaned back with a scowl, pulling at his bound hands. "Oh yeah?" He murmured, his dark eyes challenging her. "What are you going to do, huh? Give me a dolly makeover?"
Cocking her head, the little girl pouted. "You're mean." She said, folding her arms. "I don't want you to be Freddie if you're mean."
"Freddie?" The boy raised a brow.
Her expression lit up. "Yes! Freddie! He's the smart one in Mr Pickles' gang. He unmasks all the monsters!" Skipping over our legs, the girl pointed to each of us. "You're Freddie and Elizabeth," she said to the boy and I, and then she danced over to the others. "You're Raggy, and you're Daffy!"
It took me a moment to register the names, though before I could speak, the redhaired girl got there first. She laughed nervously, though her eyes were wide and frantic. "Are you talking about—"
"Scooby Doo." The boy with the baseball cap finished. "She's talking about Scooby Fucking Doo."
The girl lost her smile. Her small hands clenched into fists. "No! You're not listening!" I was only aware of her stamping her feet on the deck, and then something was hitting me like a living entity, a shrill screeching noise slamming into my skull, the love child of a dentist drill and a fire alarm, but a thousand times worse. Her scream filled me with ice, puncturing my lungs.
I found myself gasping for breath, sucking in precious oxygen when all the wind was knocked from lungs, my head slamming against the wooden deck.
But I barely felt the impact. I fought my restraints, screaming into the air for mercy. All I could think about was blocking out the noise. It was going to fucking kill me. Something warm and wet slipped from my ear and I shrieked. I thought she was going to continue, I thought the crazy girl was going to blow out my brains. But when she stopped abruptly, I felt an overwhelming urge to wrap my arms around her and hug her for giving me my breath back. "It's not Scooby Doo." The girl said with finality. When none of us answered, she stamped her foot. "I said it's not Scooby Doo!"
The others were groaning, lying on their front. While, ironically, the girl was humming the What's New Scooby Doo theme tune. "What the fuck is her problem?!" the boy next to me hissed. I glimpsed a scarlet smear near his head. His eyes were squeezed shut, tears staining his cheeks.
"Well?" the girl yelled. "What is it called?"
Warm arms wound around me and pulled me to knees. As soon as I was upright, I had to swallow vomit shooting back up. The others were yanked up too, forced to face a six-year-old's wrath.
"Mr Pickles and Company." She said through her teeth. "Repeat it back to me."
We did. But it wasn't loud enough.
"I can't hear you!" she cupped her ear, a manic smile spreading across her lips.
"Mr Pickles and Company!" We yelled back.
Satisfied, she nodded, skipping over to the redhaired girl and running her small fingers through the girl's hair. She grasped a fistful and yanked—hard. The redhead squeaked. "If you keep making oopsies, I'll turn your tummy's inside out so your wiggly wriggly's will all fall out."
I stayed silent after that. The boat docked at a small island. It wasn't the type from movies where castaways get stranded. This island is inhabited. But there is only one building, and the rest is trees. We were taken to a modern looking building with glass panels and automatic doors. When I was shoved inside an air-con blasted icy air in my face. It was a relief from the blistering heat. I was surprised when the others stayed quiet, though I wasn't surprised. I was sure "wiggly wriggly's" were in fact intestines. And after being subjected to her banshee like wail, I had no doubts the girl was capable of something as horrifying as that.
The building reminded me of one of those insane Youtuber mansions. Everything was pristine and perfect. We were taken up an elevator and then to a small room where a burly looking man sat behind a desk. In front of him was a laptop and a coffee mug.
When we were pushed in, he surveyed us with a smile. My head was still topsy turvy. I knew if I started talking, I'd start screaming. I'd demand to know where I was. So I kept my mouth shut.
"Welcome!" He nodded at us. "I trust my daughter gave you a warm welcome?"
Neither of us spoke, and the man cleared his throat. "Now, I know you're scared. But trust me, you have all been chosen to serve a purpose." He spread out his arms in a "ta-da!" motion. "You're going to be looking after some very special children by being their... let's say...entertainment?"
"What?" The boy who I had christened Watermelon because of the smell of his hair, scoffed. "What are you talking about? Do you even know what you've done? Dude, this is fucking illegal!"
Baseball cap joined in. "You kidnapped us to act out your daughter's Walmart version of Scooby Doo?"
The man's expression didn't waver. "You have been handpicked from the top acting school's in the country. We have no doubt you will fail to entertain our children. After all, you four are talented, are you not? Now, our kids are not your average children. They are incredibly gifted, and whatever they say, well, they get. Recently they became quite fond of the cartoon you are referring to. We of course gave them what they wanted, but our original's didn't quite fit the part. The kids did not like them."
His gaze flicked to me. "That is where you come in."
"You're kidding me." Watermelon said under his breath.
"Mmm." The man continued. "Now, unlike cartoons and children's television, our children can bend reality however they like. If they want to get rid of... certain characters or change them, they can."
"Get rid?" The redhaired girl jumped in. "Do you mean—oh god, do you mean kill?"
"Kill is... a strong word," He murmured. "It's up to the children. Most of our originals were turned into monsters, or as you say, they were... taken care of. One complaint was that they were too old."
Watermelon shook his head. "Fuck this," he spat. "We're not doing this. You can't make us!"
The man hummed. "Please turn your attention to the screen of my laptop. I would bring Melanie in, but she is having breakfast with the other children. So, hopefully I will be able to sway you."
When he turned the laptop around, I found myself staring at a video player.
Clearing his throat, the man gestured to the laptop screen. "Bella Torres, Ethan Decker, Sapphire Easterbrook, and Jonas Lockhart," He addressed us. "You all attended drama school's in New York, correct?"
"Yeah, I dropped out!" The redhaired girl hissed out. "I sucked!"
The man raised a brow. "Isabella. Now, we both know that's not true."
The screen flashed to a video. A boy on in the centre of a stage. He was singing a song from Wicked. It was Watermelon, and he had a voice like I'd never heard. The kind I dreamed of having. The screen flicked to the redhead dancing a complicated routine, a confident smile spread across her perfectly made up lips. Then another stage in another school. This time it was Baseball Cap. He was on his knees reading a Hamilton monologue, his voice heavy and emotional, emphasising every word.
They were good.
No, they were amazing.
I had spent most of my life obsessed with myself, and the three of them had blown me out of the park.
Finally... me. I recognise the stage I'd stood on for a whole year, my circle of toxic classmates that made me want to rip my hair out. It was during our showcase, the best show I'd done. Right before Crystal James had shoved me off the fucking stage. Thankfully, that part wasn't shown.
The man smiled widely.
As you can see, you all excelled. It was your choice to drop out, and you were losses to your teachers."
The screen flashed again. At first I didn't know what I was looking at. Even when the others started crying out and lunging forwards only to be dragged back by the guards standing behind us. Then I was looking at my mother. She was sitting in our tiny living room, her hands tied behind her back, a gun pressed into the flesh of her left temple. When I screamed, the man looked satisfied. "Now, I'm fairly sure we have a deal? You make our kids happy, and your loves ones continue on in their daily lives."
I didn't realise how "gifted" our audience really were until we started.
I wore a bright orange dress and knee high socks. When I was handed glasses to put on, I shook my head. "I don't need them." I'd managed to get out. I had 20/20 vision. I've never needed glasses
Melanie popped her head into the room, wearing her usual grin. She waved a hand in front of my face. "How many fingers?"
She was holding up five, but the longer I stared at them, my vision began to blur. It was like losing a piece of me. My sight. When I stumbled back, Melanie slid the pair of glasses on my face. I could see perfectly. Horrified, I'd taken them off. But I couldn't see without them. She had taken my sight.
Melanie had taken my fucking sight.
It wasn't just me. When our small group were forced in front of a dozen children gathered together, Jonas sprouted dark red hair out of nowhere when a small boy glared at him. Bella grew a foot taller, her hair turning silk blonde, a red headband flashing into existence on her head. When Ethan's feet lifted from the floor and he let out a shriek, the children laughed in delight. Melanie was at the front.
"Freddie has superpowers!"
"He has WHAT?!" The boy struggled to stay in the air, though the kids helped him, lifting their hands and turning them clockwise, Ethan was able to float across our heads, though he was kicking his legs.
"Please! Get me—get me down!"
When I pulled off my first mask as Elizabeth Silly, my fingers curled under a real person's skin. And I pulled. I pulled and pulled until the ghost mask lifted, along with their face. The others didn't react after several times. We became desensitised to it. It became the norm. But the thing beneath kept talking. "Meddling kids!" They growled. "I would have got away with it if it wasn't for—"
"Mr Pickles!" The four of us laughed. Jonas patted the head of some poor dog.
It was our fourth Mr Pickles.
I got good at laughing.
I got good at hiding my screams behind my over the top giggles as Elizabeth Silly.
It wasn't until right at the end of our final episode of season two, when I stopped laughing.
I stopped smiling.
I stopped fucking trying.
Bella's character had turned to the bad side. She had become an evil ghost person, and Mr Pickles and Company had to stop her. We had to— stop her. Oh god, we had to stop her.
We read our lines from a monitor hanging from the ceiling. In outdoor scenes, it's displayed on a table.
RAGGY: You're a bad person, Daffy! Mr Pickles is very upset with you!
When Ethan read his line, his voice caught. He was already reading the stage directions underneath.
[STEPPING FORWARD WITH A SMILE, OUR HERO FREDDIE REACHES INTO DAFFY'S CHEST AND PULLS OUT HER HEART. HER EVILNESS IS GONE! ONCE AGAIN MR PICKLES AND COMPANY HAVE SAVED THE WORLD!"
"No." Ethan whispered, stumbling back. "No, I'm not... I'm not doing that."
Bella didn't move. There were tears in her eyes. Her fists were clenched at her side.
"Do it." She gritted out. I knew after what she had seen, she was tired.
Bella wanted out. And then as Daffy, "Go on, Freddie! I dare you!"
We all knew Ethan was capable of it. He was the season's superhero, after all. Ethan had been turned into a freak, a Captain America/Peter Parker whatever the fuck he was by these psycho children.
I don't know why Ethan did what his lines said.
I'll still never know why he followed the script and Bella's words.
I don't want to write what happened to Bella. I don't want to write it because I can still see it. I still see Ethan's fingers puncture her chest, and whatever reality that I was clinging onto collapsed. Bella's heart looked almost cartoonish in Ethan's hand, a pulpy mass of scarlet squelched between his fist.
Bella is dead.
I watched him pull her heart from her chest like it was... like it was easy.
Another Bella has been brought in. She came last night, screaming and crying. We're kept in a glass cage overnight. It's barely big enough for two people, never mind four. We don't have beds. We're given basic food and water, and the little brats make visits every night. They press their faces against the glass and giggle, pointing and laughing. When Ethan tells them to fuck off, they take his voice.
When I cry, they take my tears.
To them, we're zoo animals.
I grabbed a guards phone this morning. I can't call anyone, but I can put out some kind of call for help. I don't know where we are... there is no name of the island. At least I haven't heard one.
Call my school.
Tell them Sapphire Easterbrook needs help. Call the police. You're our only chance. The amount of power these kids give off, I'm not surprised I'm able to connect to some kind of network. You need to get help. I don't want to keep playing Elizabeth Silly. I can't.
I won't.
submitted by Trash_Tia to LighthouseHorror [link] [comments]
Freshly fired from my job as a pizza girl and too scared to go home and tell my parents I was in fact a waste of space, I found myself where every other nineteen year old kidult with no life and barely any cash would go. A club.
The place wasn't exactly the height of New York and the outside smelled of piss, but it was a distraction. And I really needed a distraction. I needed to not think about my life that was slowly crumbling apart, coming apart by the seams. I didn't want to think about what mom's expression would be when I told her I was fired – again. In the mess which was my brain, the only possible cure to my shitty mood and to not feel anything... at least for the next few hours, was alcohol. And dancing. I needed to dance and sing and drink and whatever, to forget that I was a disgrace to society. The pizza job was shit, anyway. It was meagre cash and the pizza's smelled like barf.
I'd like to say it wasn't an accident when I spilled Coke all over a customer, because I hated the owners. They treated their staff, who all happened to be like me--- broke ass college dropouts—like dirt. But it was my fault. I was too busy dancing to the radio, not really paying much attention.
The customer, a woman in maybe her mid 40's with straw-like hair and stains on her blouse, had been heading over to me, probably to yell at me for something out of my control, and we collided. It was pretty comical. Coke went everywhere. On her, on me, on the poor kid behind the counter. All resulting in my inevitable firing. But I was glad. I didn't want to work there. I was only working there for cash.
First, before I get into my story, and the reason you clicked on this-- I want to get several things straight. I am not a waste of space. I was something—at least that's what I like to tell myself.
Yes, I lived with my mom, and yes I was broke. Yes, I had no friends, and yes, I wasn't planning on getting another job. At least not yet. Instead I wanted to bask in my own melancholy. I wanted to dwell on my potential future which had been ripped away before I even got a taste of it. I've wanted to be an actress my whole life.
I grew up watching movies and musicals, and I wanted to be like them. Who didn't? I watched Disney Channel throughout my childhood and tweens, of course I wanted to be like Miley Cyrus and Selena Gomez. I started high school with a goal. I was going to get into a top drama school and I was going to be famous. Easier said than done. However, I was determined.
I ignored the concept of friends and socialising and studied way into weeknights. I auditioned for our school show every year and managed to score the top part every time. I'd like to say I was thriving. I threw away my high school experience to get where I wanted in life, and it worked. I graduated with a 4.0 and worked in my local café to pay for tuition. Mom saved up her whole life to provide me with the college experience I'd dreamed of. She moved to NY for a new job, so it was ideal for the both of us.
Mom moved in to a two bedroom house in southern Brooklyn, and I moved into dorms.
Though the problem was when I actually started college.
After a gruelling audition I got into The American Academy of Dramatic Arts. I was told I had talent. I was told I would go somewhere. And I believed them. I believed that I was really going to live my dream. Well. Throughout high school I barely had competition. When a freshman came along, or a kid in my year suddenly decided that they were going to have the main parts and solo's, I made sure to let them know that the parts were mine. That they would always be mine, and they were fools for even trying. Bitchy, I know. But if I was going to be a star, I was going to tear down my competition. College was where everything came crashing down.
I was a small town girl used to being in the spotlight. I was used to picking off my competition. College was when reality hit me in the face. I wasn't expecting kids like me. Exactly like me.
Kids who were obsessed with getting that limelight I craved. Kids that weren't afraid to fight each other to the death to get to the top. Crystal James was a carbon copy of me. But she was far worse. Crystal had an ego the size of a continent. Think of every mean-girl esque bitch you've seen in all those 2000's chic flicks. That was Crystal.
Her goal was to get to the top, just like me. So obviously we clashed. I'm not going to get into the details, because I don't have time, but my dream (or pipe-dream) ended at the New York Academy for Dramatic Arts, specifically the night of our final show-case.
It was our third show, and Crystal, after drinking too much champagne, had "accidentally" shoved me off stage during my performance. She insisted it was a complete accident and had bumped into me, though I'm not even sure what it was. I was knocked unconscious when I hit the ground and had fucked up my ankle. So, I was out, and Crystal was in as my understudy.
It hurt to see her play the part I had worked so hard for. It made me think. Crystal was able to snatch up my part barely having to lift a finger, and I was left in the dust. Weirdly enough, nobody suspected foul play.
My teacher told me I was being dramatic, and my classmates stuck up their noses. Better me than them. I saw it in their expressions. All they wanted was success. All they wanted was fame. So I marched, or I guess limped, to the principal's office, and told him I was done. I was quitting, and that I hoped they had a great show. He didn't try to talk me out of it. The school was full of students like me, who acted just like I did. Like spoiled, narcissistic children. I was done with that part of me, because I realised that I had hurt others to get to the top, and karma was one hell of a bitch.
And then I spat on his desk.
Fast forward several months, NYADA was less of a memory and more of a fever dream. I was standing in front of a club, in a line of maybe twenty or thirty people. Music was blaring, and it was my type of music. Maybe they were having an 80's night. Mama Mia was blasting, and the kids in the line were drunkenly jumping up and down, laughing and falling over each other.
My initial plan was to get wasted and see where the night lead. I had two crumpled twenties in my pocket. I'd posted the rest through my mom's bedroom door for rent. I wasn't dressed for clubbing, still wearing the white cotton polo shirt I wore for work, and skinny jeans. The material was sticking to my flushed skin and the night air wasn't helping. It was hot for 11pm.
I was expecting it to cool down, but even outside I was sweating. When the group of kids in front of me ducked into the club, their shadows swallowed by blinding disco lights, I shuffled forwards, already feeling self-conscious.
It had been a spontaneous idea to go to a club, despite never going to one before. I had no idea what I was doing or what I was supposed to do. All I knew that there was music and dancing, and noise. I just needed noise to drown out those existential thoughts that were driving me mad. Where was I going to be in 5 years? Was I going to be homeless? Maybe I'd somehow make it big via You-tube or Tiktok. I was weighing the positives and negatives of starting a You-tube channel, not really paying attention, when a voice startled me out of my daydream, a gruff yell over the music.
"Mask?"
At first I hadn't fully heard the bouncer. When I looked up to frown at him, he wore a scowl. The guy had bulky shoulders and thick dark hair, a sheen of sweat glistening light tanned skin. His shirt looked far too tight, cinched to thick, bulging arms. He was supposed to look intimidating, sure, but already in a sour mood, the guy was pissing me off. I had my ID, waving it in his face like a frenzied insect.
"Mask, or no entry, kid."
His words dawned on me and I reached into my bag, pulling out the crumpled mask my mom had stuffed in there a few hours earlier. I put in on quickly, my cheeks burning. "Sorry." I managed to say, and he nodded with an eyeroll. "Remember it next time," he grunted. "No mask, no entry."
Smiling my best smile, even if it was behind my mask, I ducked into the club, joining the crowd of dancers. It was beautiful. The lights and the music and the sweaty bodies slamming into me. Everybody wore a mask, but I still saw the glee and excitement and euphoria lit up their eyes. Mama Mia ended, quickly followed by Take on Me.
That was a song I liked. It was my mom's favourite. Nodding my head to the beat and letting myself sway to lyrics that were definitely not written to sway to—I pushed through dancers until I got to the bar. I can't remember what I ordered, but after several of them, and a few on the house—I started to lose myself in the music and the dancing, until my head was spinning itself off of its axis. When I ordered water, I was given something else.
Definitely another alcoholic beverage. It stung my tongue and the back of my throat. I started to feel... giddy. But I knew I was going to be sick. When I had the exit in my sight, I started towards it, but someone's arm shoved me back. Then another body slammed into me, and it felt like I was flying. Colours were magnified, and the music felt like it was in my blood, like it was inside me, each lyric trying to tear its way out.
I was laughing, I'm not sure what at, when I turned and found myself face to face with a small girl. She was maybe six or seven, with blonde hair pulled into pigtails. Her dress was bright pink with sequins, and in my state, that was what I focused on. How cool her dress looked in the flashing lights. The girl wasn't wearing a mask. She was the only one in the club who wasn't. Her smile was bright, blue eyes pinpointed on me. "Elizabeth!" the little girl shouted over the music, pointing at me. Her words confused me, but part of me wondered if I'd drank so much I was hallucinating. Or I'd been roofied.
Instead of doing what I really wanted to do, which was find somewhere to barf, I found myself following the little girl, who after doing a spin, her dress flying around her, she twisted around and ran for the exit, disappearing into grinding bodies. Looking around, nobody seemed to notice the girl except me. I wasn't thinking straight. All I cared about was seeing if I was actually losing my mind. I followed the girl, like Alice had followed the rabbit, and ended up outside the club on my hands and knees. I was barfing up my late lunch before I even knew what was happening. The world was tilted, all the colour sucked into the night. There was nobody around, only the little girl with her back to me.
She turned to face me, that bright smile still plastered on her face. "Elizabeth!" she shouted, bouncing up and down. "You're Elizabeth!"
I stood up shakily, swallowing what was trying to creep back up. "Hey there!" I said, though my voice was slurred and strange. I'd gotten drunk before, mostly at parties at college. But this was something entirely else. I could barely keep my footing. "Are you okay? You seem kind of, uhm... lost?"
The girl shook her head, her hair flying around her in a whirlwind. "Elizabeth!"
"No, I'm Saffy." I introduced myself and held out a hand. Though when I did, I nearly toppled over.
"Melanie, are you sure it's her?"
Another voice hit my eardrums. This time it was a male grumble. When I twisted around, I nearly fell again, and he grabbed my arm, steeling me. There was a man in front of me. He was tall, youngish looking. Maybe late thirties. Though I couldn't tell because he was wearing raybans. The man seemed to size me up. "Huh." He chuckled. "I mean if you're sure, Mel's. Is that all of them?"
"Uh-huh!" The little girl giggled and made her way towards me and wrapped her arms around my lower waist. She had a tight grip for how small she was. "Elizabeth."
"Saffy." I corrected. "Sapphire, if you'd like."
My words were sluggish before I barfed on the guy's fancy looking shoes, choking on the rest of my greeting. Though if anything, I found it funny.
"Sorry!" Slapping my hand over my mouth I burped, and more barf crawled up my throat, filling my mouth. I was ready to introduce the guy to what was left of my stomach lining, but before I could I was being violently shoved backwards. I was ready to hit rough concrete, though instead my back was slamming into warm leather. The temperature changed instantly, from cool night air that had finally cooled down, to somewhere inside—somewhere muggy and uncomfortable.
It was a car. But that didn't hit me until it was moving, and I found myself pressed against someone's back. There were others with me, though they were talking over each other, laughing and singing. Some guy was yelling Vine quotes, and knowing them, I joined in.
In my mind, it was an adventure. When I managed to straighten up, I stuck my head out of the window which was open, screaming into the night. I remember my hair was a whirlwind, hitting me in the face. I remember the air felt amazing against my clammy forehead. I think I started dancing, though more of a sit-down swaying jig. My head was still spinning, the deluge of passing traffic sending me more and more hyper. When I thrust my elbows back, a boy's yelp ricocheted in the back of my mind.
"Ow! Who raised you, animals?" I felt movement, sticky, sweaty skin against mine. I was greeted to a mouthful of his hair which smelled and tasted like cheap axe spray and watermelon. Ignoring him, I focused on the cool air whipping in my face. Behind me, a girl and another guy were laughing together, and I felt a sense of... solidarity. I had never had friends. Only rivals I pretended were friends.
But at that moment with my head in the clouds and my stomach in my throat, I felt like the strangers next to me were something else. I couldn't even see their faces properly. I saw glimpses every time a car flew past blinding us in dizzying light. There were two boys and a girl. At the front the same man whose shoes I'd barfed on, and next to him sat the little girl who had twisted in her chair and was singing along with the others. Revelling in my spinning head and twirling thoughts, I let my head sag against the window. The others were still shouting over each other. None of us realized where we were.
Where we were going.
I started sobering up when the laughter and shouting faded into murmurs and giggles, and then they stopped all together. The boy next to me was snoring, his head on my shoulder. I was tired, my body, my limbs, every part of me screaming for me to let myself slip into darkness. But the car was picking up momentum. We were on a highway.
Slipping in and out of awareness, I remember the car door opening and someone pulling me out. I remember stumbling forwards and almost slipping into water. Cool, refreshing water. It sparkled beneath me underneath a crescent moon. My feet were bare, though I wasn't sure when I'd taken my shoes off. I remember being escorted onto a boat. I marvelled at the size. Not exactly ferry sized, but it was the type the 1% own. You know, the elite.
We were escorted on board. Nobody was complaining or protesting. I was aware of what was going on, but I couldn't do anything. I couldn't speak or cry out. I couldn't fully move my body. It wasn't the affects of alcohol, it was something else. Something that had paralysed my limbs. I lay down on the deck and searched for stars in the darkness above me, and when the sky lightened, I watched the sun rise, a blur of cotton candy pink and white spreading across the horizon.
It was only when the first glimpses of the sun were appearing, reflecting in ocean waves lulling us back and forth, when I realised my hands were tied behind my back. Even riding between half-drunk and sober, panic filled me like poison. I managed to sit up, but my body flopped back down again, like it refused to comply.
"Hello?" My voice was a whimper. When I twisted my head to the left, the others were lying next to me fast asleep. I finally got a proper look at them. The boy next to me had chestnut hair and pale skin, glitter speckling his cheeks. He lay on his back, his eyes shut, lips parted peacefully. Next to him was a girl with shoulder length red hair and a guy with dirty blonde curls peeking from a baseball cap. They were on in club wear, t-shirts covered in sweat stains, and jeans. The girl had a heart painted on her left cheek, mascara smeared under her eyes. Their shoes had been taken too. I nudged the guy next to me, but he didn't respond. When I tried to scream, my voice came out hoarse and wrong.
Time went by slowly, and I spent it staring at the clouds and trying and failing to wrench myself out of my restraints. My wrists were stinging when footsteps sounded. They were gentle, almost like a dogs, pitter-pattering on the deck. I squeezed my eyes shut, but when the footsteps stopped in front of me, I risked cracking them open. The little girl from the night before loomed over me with the same grin.
"They're amazing!" she sang, dancing across the deck, twirling and doing little spins. "They're so much better than the other ones! They were too old and wrinkly!"
I had barely enough time to register what she was saying before the girl was flicking me in the face.
"Elizabeth!" She giggled.
Fully sober now, I shook my head, but I couldn't speak.
"You little bitch."
When I risked a glance to my left, the boy lying next to me was squirming to get up, struggling in his restraints. "Did you do this?" His voice was a soft croak, barely a yell. "Did you fucking kidnap us?"
"Kidnap?" Another voice. The redhaired girl was squeaking, rolling around trying to get up. Her sharp cries woke the other boy up, the kid with the baseball cap. Letting out an exhalation of breath, he sat up with a groan, blinking in the sunlight. I recognised his voice. He had been the one yelling Vine quotes. I had only known his laugh, the momentary flash of his sparkling grin last night in the car.
Now he looked confused, his eyes frenzied.
The little girl giggled. "Freddie doesn't swear." She said, pointing to the boy next to me. "If you swear I'll make you regret it."
The boy leaned back with a scowl, pulling at his bound hands. "Oh yeah?" He murmured, his dark eyes challenging her. "What are you going to do, huh? Give me a dolly makeover?"
Cocking her head, the little girl pouted. "You're mean." She said, folding her arms. "I don't want you to be Freddie if you're mean."
"Freddie?" The boy raised a brow.
Her expression lit up. "Yes! Freddie! He's the smart one in Mr Pickles' gang. He unmasks all the monsters!" Skipping over our legs, the girl pointed to each of us. "You're Freddie and Elizabeth," she said to the boy and I, and then she danced over to the others. "You're Raggy, and you're Daffy!"
It took me a moment to register the names, though before I could speak, the redhaired girl got there first. She laughed nervously, though her eyes were wide and frantic. "Are you talking about—"
"Scooby Doo." The boy with the baseball cap finished. "She's talking about Scooby Fucking Doo."
The girl lost her smile. Her small hands clenched into fists. "No! You're not listening!" I was only aware of her stamping her feet on the deck, and then something was hitting me like a living entity, a shrill screeching noise slamming into my skull, the love child of a dentist drill and a fire alarm, but a thousand times worse. Her scream filled me with ice, puncturing my lungs.
I found myself gasping for breath, sucking in precious oxygen when all the wind was knocked from lungs, my head slamming against the wooden deck.
But I barely felt the impact. I fought my restraints, screaming into the air for mercy. All I could think about was blocking out the noise. It was going to fucking kill me. Something warm and wet slipped from my ear and I shrieked. I thought she was going to continue, I thought the crazy girl was going to blow out my brains. But when she stopped abruptly, I felt an overwhelming urge to wrap my arms around her and hug her for giving me my breath back. "It's not Scooby Doo." The girl said with finality. When none of us answered, she stamped her foot. "I said it's not Scooby Doo!"
The others were groaning, lying on their front. While, ironically, the girl was humming the What's New Scooby Doo theme tune. "What the fuck is her problem?!" the boy next to me hissed. I glimpsed a scarlet smear near his head. His eyes were squeezed shut, tears staining his cheeks.
"Well?" the girl yelled. "What is it called?"
Warm arms wound around me and pulled me to knees. As soon as I was upright, I had to swallow vomit shooting back up. The others were yanked up too, forced to face a six-year-old's wrath.
"Mr Pickles and Company." She said through her teeth. "Repeat it back to me."
We did. But it wasn't loud enough.
"I can't hear you!" she cupped her ear, a manic smile spreading across her lips.
"Mr Pickles and Company!" We yelled back.
Satisfied, she nodded, skipping over to the redhaired girl and running her small fingers through the girl's hair. She grasped a fistful and yanked—hard. The redhead squeaked. "If you keep making oopsies, I'll turn your tummy's inside out so your wiggly wriggly's will all fall out."
I stayed silent after that. The boat docked at a small island. It wasn't the type from movies where castaways get stranded. This island is inhabited. But there is only one building, and the rest is trees. We were taken to a modern looking building with glass panels and automatic doors. When I was shoved inside an air-con blasted icy air in my face. It was a relief from the blistering heat. I was surprised when the others stayed quiet, though I wasn't surprised. I was sure "wiggly wriggly's" were in fact intestines. And after being subjected to her banshee like wail, I had no doubts the girl was capable of something as horrifying as that.
The building reminded me of one of those insane Youtuber mansions. Everything was pristine and perfect. We were taken up an elevator and then to a small room where a burly looking man sat behind a desk. In front of him was a laptop and a coffee mug.
When we were pushed in, he surveyed us with a smile. My head was still topsy turvy. I knew if I started talking, I'd start screaming. I'd demand to know where I was. So I kept my mouth shut.
"Welcome!" He nodded at us. "I trust my daughter gave you a warm welcome?"
Neither of us spoke, and the man cleared his throat. "Now, I know you're scared. But trust me, you have all been chosen to serve a purpose." He spread out his arms in a "ta-da!" motion. "You're going to be looking after some very special children by being their... let's say...entertainment?"
"What?" The boy who I had christened Watermelon because of the smell of his hair, scoffed. "What are you talking about? Do you even know what you've done? Dude, this is fucking illegal!"
Baseball cap joined in. "You kidnapped us to act out your daughter's Walmart version of Scooby Doo?"
The man's expression didn't waver. "You have been handpicked from the top acting school's in the country. We have no doubt you will fail to entertain our children. After all, you four are talented, are you not? Now, our kids are not your average children. They are incredibly gifted, and whatever they say, well, they get. Recently they became quite fond of the cartoon you are referring to. We of course gave them what they wanted, but our original's didn't quite fit the part. The kids did not like them."
His gaze flicked to me. "That is where you come in."
"You're kidding me." Watermelon said under his breath.
"Mmm." The man continued. "Now, unlike cartoons and children's television, our children can bend reality however they like. If they want to get rid of... certain characters or change them, they can."
"Get rid?" The redhaired girl jumped in. "Do you mean—oh god, do you mean kill?"
"Kill is... a strong word," He murmured. "It's up to the children. Most of our originals were turned into monsters, or as you say, they were... taken care of. One complaint was that they were too old."
Watermelon shook his head. "Fuck this," he spat. "We're not doing this. You can't make us!"
The man hummed. "Please turn your attention to the screen of my laptop. I would bring Melanie in, but she is having breakfast with the other children. So, hopefully I will be able to sway you."
When he turned the laptop around, I found myself staring at a video player.
Clearing his throat, the man gestured to the laptop screen. "Bella Torres, Ethan Decker, Sapphire Easterbrook, and Jonas Lockhart," He addressed us. "You all attended drama school's in New York, correct?"
"Yeah, I dropped out!" The redhaired girl hissed out. "I sucked!"
The man raised a brow. "Isabella. Now, we both know that's not true."
The screen flashed to a video. A boy on in the centre of a stage. He was singing a song from Wicked. It was Watermelon, and he had a voice like I'd never heard. The kind I dreamed of having. The screen flicked to the redhead dancing a complicated routine, a confident smile spread across her perfectly made up lips. Then another stage in another school. This time it was Baseball Cap. He was on his knees reading a Hamilton monologue, his voice heavy and emotional, emphasising every word.
They were good.
No, they were amazing.
I had spent most of my life obsessed with myself, and the three of them had blown me out of the park.
Finally... me. I recognise the stage I'd stood on for a whole year, my circle of toxic classmates that made me want to rip my hair out. It was during our showcase, the best show I'd done. Right before Crystal James had shoved me off the fucking stage. Thankfully, that part wasn't shown.
The man smiled widely.
As you can see, you all excelled. It was your choice to drop out, and you were losses to your teachers."
The screen flashed again. At first I didn't know what I was looking at. Even when the others started crying out and lunging forwards only to be dragged back by the guards standing behind us. Then I was looking at my mother. She was sitting in our tiny living room, her hands tied behind her back, a gun pressed into the flesh of her left temple. When I screamed, the man looked satisfied. "Now, I'm fairly sure we have a deal? You make our kids happy, and your loves ones continue on in their daily lives."
I didn't realise how "gifted" our audience really were until we started.
I wore a bright orange dress and knee high socks. When I was handed glasses to put on, I shook my head. "I don't need them." I'd managed to get out. I had 20/20 vision. I've never needed glasses
Melanie popped her head into the room, wearing her usual grin. She waved a hand in front of my face. "How many fingers?"
She was holding up five, but the longer I stared at them, my vision began to blur. It was like losing a piece of me. My sight. When I stumbled back, Melanie slid the pair of glasses on my face. I could see perfectly. Horrified, I'd taken them off. But I couldn't see without them. She had taken my sight.
Melanie had taken my fucking sight.
It wasn't just me. When our small group were forced in front of a dozen children gathered together, Jonas sprouted dark red hair out of nowhere when a small boy glared at him. Bella grew a foot taller, her hair turning silk blonde, a red headband flashing into existence on her head. When Ethan's feet lifted from the floor and he let out a shriek, the children laughed in delight. Melanie was at the front.
"Freddie has superpowers!"
"He has WHAT?!" The boy struggled to stay in the air, though the kids helped him, lifting their hands and turning them clockwise, Ethan was able to float across our heads, though he was kicking his legs.
"Please! Get me—get me down!"
When I pulled off my first mask as Elizabeth Silly, my fingers curled under a real person's skin. And I pulled. I pulled and pulled until the ghost mask lifted, along with their face. The others didn't react after several times. We became desensitised to it. It became the norm. But the thing beneath kept talking. "Meddling kids!" They growled. "I would have got away with it if it wasn't for—"
"Mr Pickles!" The four of us laughed. Jonas patted the head of some poor dog.
It was our fourth Mr Pickles.
I got good at laughing.
I got good at hiding my screams behind my over the top giggles as Elizabeth Silly.
It wasn't until right at the end of our final episode of season two, when I stopped laughing.
I stopped smiling.
I stopped fucking trying.
Bella's character had turned to the bad side. She had become an evil ghost person, and Mr Pickles and Company had to stop her. We had to— stop her. Oh god, we had to stop her.
We read our lines from a monitor hanging from the ceiling. In outdoor scenes, it's displayed on a table.
RAGGY: You're a bad person, Daffy! Mr Pickles is very upset with you!
When Ethan read his line, his voice caught. He was already reading the stage directions underneath.
[STEPPING FORWARD WITH A SMILE, OUR HERO FREDDIE REACHES INTO DAFFY'S CHEST AND PULLS OUT HER HEART. HER EVILNESS IS GONE! ONCE AGAIN MR PICKLES AND COMPANY HAVE SAVED THE WORLD!"
"No." Ethan whispered, stumbling back. "No, I'm not... I'm not doing that."
Bella didn't move. There were tears in her eyes. Her fists were clenched at her side.
"Do it." She gritted out. I knew after what she had seen, she was tired.
Bella wanted out. And then as Daffy, "Go on, Freddie! I dare you!"
We all knew Ethan was capable of it. He was the season's superhero, after all. Ethan had been turned into a freak, a Captain America/Peter Parker whatever the fuck he was by these psycho children.
I don't know why Ethan did what his lines said.
I'll still never know why he followed the script and Bella's words.
I don't want to write what happened to Bella. I don't want to write it because I can still see it. I still see Ethan's fingers puncture her chest, and whatever reality that I was clinging onto collapsed. Bella's heart looked almost cartoonish in Ethan's hand, a pulpy mass of scarlet squelched between his fist.
Bella is dead.
I watched him pull her heart from her chest like it was... like it was easy.
Another Bella has been brought in. She came last night, screaming and crying. We're kept in a glass cage overnight. It's barely big enough for two people, never mind four. We don't have beds. We're given basic food and water, and the little brats make visits every night. They press their faces against the glass and giggle, pointing and laughing. When Ethan tells them to fuck off, they take his voice.
When I cry, they take my tears.
To them, we're zoo animals.
I grabbed a guards phone this morning. I can't call anyone, but I can put out some kind of call for help. I don't know where we are... there is no name of the island. At least I haven't heard one.
Call my school.
Tell them Sapphire Easterbrook needs help. Call the police. You're our only chance. The amount of power these kids give off, I'm not surprised I'm able to connect to some kind of network. You need to get help. I don't want to keep playing Elizabeth Silly. I can't.
I won't.
2021.07.29 02:47 Trash_Tia I'm being forced to act out a kids cartoon for children with serious issues.
Even before I was kidnapped, it was already the worst night of my life.
Freshly fired from my job as a pizza girl and too scared to go home and tell my parents I was in fact a waste of space, I found myself where every other nineteen year old kidult with no life and barely any cash would go. A club.
The place wasn't exactly the height of New York and the outside smelled of piss, but it was a distraction. And I really needed a distraction. I needed to not think about my life that was slowly crumbling apart, coming apart by the seams. I didn't want to think about what mom's expression would be when I told her I was fired – again. In the mess which was my brain, the only possible cure to my shitty mood and to not feel anything... at least for the next few hours, was alcohol. And dancing. I needed to dance and sing and drink and whatever, to forget that I was a disgrace to society. The pizza job was shit, anyway. It was meagre cash and the pizza's smelled like barf.
I'd like to say it wasn't an accident when I spilled Coke all over a customer, because I hated the owners. They treated their staff, who all happened to be like me--- broke ass college dropouts—like dirt. But it was my fault. I was too busy dancing to the radio, not really paying much attention.
The customer, a woman in maybe her mid 40's with straw-like hair and stains on her blouse, had been heading over to me, probably to yell at me for something out of my control, and we collided. It was pretty comical. Coke went everywhere. On her, on me, on the poor kid behind the counter. All resulting in my inevitable firing. But I was glad. I didn't want to work there. I was only working there for cash.
First, before I get into my story, and the reason you clicked on this-- I want to get several things straight. I am not a waste of space. I was something—at least that's what I like to tell myself.
Yes, I lived with my mom, and yes I was broke. Yes, I had no friends, and yes, I wasn't planning on getting another job. At least not yet. Instead I wanted to bask in my own melancholy. I wanted to dwell on my potential future which had been ripped away before I even got a taste of it. I've wanted to be an actress my whole life.
I grew up watching movies and musicals, and I wanted to be like them. Who didn't? I watched Disney Channel throughout my childhood and tweens, of course I wanted to be like Miley Cyrus and Selena Gomez. I started high school with a goal. I was going to get into a top drama school and I was going to be famous. Easier said than done. However, I was determined.
I ignored the concept of friends and socialising and studied way into weeknights. I auditioned for our school show every year and managed to score the top part every time. I'd like to say I was thriving. I threw away my high school experience to get where I wanted in life, and it worked. I graduated with a 4.0 and worked in my local café to pay for tuition. Mom saved up her whole life to provide me with the college experience I'd dreamed of. She moved to NY for a new job, so it was ideal for the both of us.
Mom moved in to a two bedroom house in southern Brooklyn, and I moved into dorms.
Though the problem was when I actually started college.
After a gruelling audition I got into The American Academy of Dramatic Arts. I was told I had talent. I was told I would go somewhere. And I believed them. I believed that I was really going to live my dream. Well. Throughout high school I barely had competition. When a freshman came along, or a kid in my year suddenly decided that they were going to have the main parts and solo's, I made sure to let them know that the parts were mine. That they would always be mine, and they were fools for even trying. Bitchy, I know. But if I was going to be a star, I was going to tear down my competition. College was where everything came crashing down.
I was a small town girl used to being in the spotlight. I was used to picking off my competition. College was when reality hit me in the face. I wasn't expecting kids like me. Exactly like me.
Kids who were obsessed with getting that limelight I craved. Kids that weren't afraid to fight each other to the death to get to the top. Crystal James was a carbon copy of me. But she was far worse. Crystal had an ego the size of a continent. Think of every mean-girl esque bitch you've seen in all those 2000's chic flicks. That was Crystal.
Her goal was to get to the top, just like me. So obviously we clashed. I'm not going to get into the details, because I don't have time, but my dream (or pipe-dream) ended at the New York Academy for Dramatic Arts, specifically the night of our final show-case.
It was our third show, and Crystal, after drinking too much champagne, had "accidentally" shoved me off stage during my performance. She insisted it was a complete accident and had bumped into me, though I'm not even sure what it was. I was knocked unconscious when I hit the ground and had fucked up my ankle. So, I was out, and Crystal was in as my understudy.
It hurt to see her play the part I had worked so hard for. It made me think. Crystal was able to snatch up my part barely having to lift a finger, and I was left in the dust. Weirdly enough, nobody suspected foul play.
My teacher told me I was being dramatic, and my classmates stuck up their noses. Better me than them. I saw it in their expressions. All they wanted was success. All they wanted was fame. So I marched, or I guess limped, to the principal's office, and told him I was done. I was quitting, and that I hoped they had a great show. He didn't try to talk me out of it. The school was full of students like me, who acted just like I did. Like spoiled, narcissistic children. I was done with that part of me, because I realised that I had hurt others to get to the top, and karma was one hell of a bitch.
And then I spat on his desk.
Fast forward several months, NYADA was less of a memory and more of a fever dream. I was standing in front of a club, in a line of maybe twenty or thirty people. Music was blaring, and it was my type of music. Maybe they were having an 80's night. Mama Mia was blasting, and the kids in the line were drunkenly jumping up and down, laughing and falling over each other.
My initial plan was to get wasted and see where the night lead. I had two crumpled twenties in my pocket. I'd posted the rest through my mom's bedroom door for rent. I wasn't dressed for clubbing, still wearing the white cotton polo shirt I wore for work, and skinny jeans. The material was sticking to my flushed skin and the night air wasn't helping. It was hot for 11pm.
I was expecting it to cool down, but even outside I was sweating. When the group of kids in front of me ducked into the club, their shadows swallowed by blinding disco lights, I shuffled forwards, already feeling self-conscious.
It had been a spontaneous idea to go to a club, despite never going to one before. I had no idea what I was doing or what I was supposed to do. All I knew that there was music and dancing, and noise. I just needed noise to drown out those existential thoughts that were driving me mad. Where was I going to be in 5 years? Was I going to be homeless? Maybe I'd somehow make it big via You-tube or Tiktok. I was weighing the positives and negatives of starting a You-tube channel, not really paying attention, when a voice startled me out of my daydream, a gruff yell over the music.
"Mask?"
At first I hadn't fully heard the bouncer. When I looked up to frown at him, he wore a scowl. The guy had bulky shoulders and thick dark hair, a sheen of sweat glistening light tanned skin. His shirt looked far too tight, cinched to thick, bulging arms. He was supposed to look intimidating, sure, but already in a sour mood, the guy was pissing me off. I had my ID, waving it in his face like a frenzied insect.
"Mask, or no entry, kid."
His words dawned on me and I reached into my bag, pulling out the crumpled mask my mom had stuffed in there a few hours earlier. I put in on quickly, my cheeks burning. "Sorry." I managed to say, and he nodded with an eyeroll. "Remember it next time," he grunted. "No mask, no entry."
Smiling my best smile, even if it was behind my mask, I ducked into the club, joining the crowd of dancers. It was beautiful. The lights and the music and the sweaty bodies slamming into me. Everybody wore a mask, but I still saw the glee and excitement and euphoria lit up their eyes. Mama Mia ended, quickly followed by Take on Me.
That was a song I liked. It was my mom's favourite. Nodding my head to the beat and letting myself sway to lyrics that were definitely not written to sway to—I pushed through dancers until I got to the bar. I can't remember what I ordered, but after several of them, and a few on the house—I started to lose myself in the music and the dancing, until my head was spinning itself off of its axis. When I ordered water, I was given something else.
Definitely another alcoholic beverage. It stung my tongue and the back of my throat. I started to feel... giddy. But I knew I was going to be sick. When I had the exit in my sight, I started towards it, but someone's arm shoved me back. Then another body slammed into me, and it felt like I was flying. Colours were magnified, and the music felt like it was in my blood, like it was inside me, each lyric trying to tear its way out.
I was laughing, I'm not sure what at, when I turned and found myself face to face with a small girl. She was maybe six or seven, with blonde hair pulled into pigtails. Her dress was bright pink with sequins, and in my state, that was what I focused on. How cool her dress looked in the flashing lights. The girl wasn't wearing a mask. She was the only one in the club who wasn't. Her smile was bright, blue eyes pinpointed on me. "Elizabeth!" the little girl shouted over the music, pointing at me. Her words confused me, but part of me wondered if I'd drank so much I was hallucinating. Or I'd been roofied.
Instead of doing what I really wanted to do, which was find somewhere to barf, I found myself following the little girl, who after doing a spin, her dress flying around her, she twisted around and ran for the exit, disappearing into grinding bodies. Looking around, nobody seemed to notice the girl except me. I wasn't thinking straight. All I cared about was seeing if I was actually losing my mind. I followed the girl, like Alice had followed the rabbit, and ended up outside the club on my hands and knees. I was barfing up my late lunch before I even knew what was happening. The world was tilted, all the colour sucked into the night. There was nobody around, only the little girl with her back to me.
She turned to face me, that bright smile still plastered on her face. "Elizabeth!" she shouted, bouncing up and down. "You're Elizabeth!"
I stood up shakily, swallowing what was trying to creep back up. "Hey there!" I said, though my voice was slurred and strange. I'd gotten drunk before, mostly at parties at college. But this was something entirely else. I could barely keep my footing. "Are you okay? You seem kind of, uhm... lost?"
The girl shook her head, her hair flying around her in a whirlwind. "Elizabeth!"
"No, I'm Saffy." I introduced myself and held out a hand. Though when I did, I nearly toppled over.
"Melanie, are you sure it's her?"
Another voice hit my eardrums. This time it was a male grumble. When I twisted around, I nearly fell again, and he grabbed my arm, steeling me. There was a man in front of me. He was tall, youngish looking. Maybe late thirties. Though I couldn't tell because he was wearing raybans. The man seemed to size me up. "Huh." He chuckled. "I mean if you're sure, Mel's. Is that all of them?"
"Uh-huh!" The little girl giggled and made her way towards me and wrapped her arms around my lower waist. She had a tight grip for how small she was. "Elizabeth."
"Saffy." I corrected. "Sapphire, if you'd like."
My words were sluggish before I barfed on the guy's fancy looking shoes, choking on the rest of my greeting. Though if anything, I found it funny.
"Sorry!" Slapping my hand over my mouth I burped, and more barf crawled up my throat, filling my mouth. I was ready to introduce the guy to what was left of my stomach lining, but before I could I was being violently shoved backwards. I was ready to hit rough concrete, though instead my back was slamming into warm leather. The temperature changed instantly, from cool night air that had finally cooled down, to somewhere inside—somewhere muggy and uncomfortable.
It was a car. But that didn't hit me until it was moving, and I found myself pressed against someone's back. There were others with me, though they were talking over each other, laughing and singing. Some guy was yelling Vine quotes, and knowing them, I joined in.
In my mind, it was an adventure. When I managed to straighten up, I stuck my head out of the window which was open, screaming into the night. I remember my hair was a whirlwind, hitting me in the face. I remember the air felt amazing against my clammy forehead. I think I started dancing, though more of a sit-down swaying jig. My head was still spinning, the deluge of passing traffic sending me more and more hyper. When I thrust my elbows back, a boy's yelp ricocheted in the back of my mind.
"Ow! Who raised you, animals?" I felt movement, sticky, sweaty skin against mine. I was greeted to a mouthful of his hair which smelled and tasted like cheap axe spray and watermelon. Ignoring him, I focused on the cool air whipping in my face. Behind me, a girl and another guy were laughing together, and I felt a sense of... solidarity. I had never had friends. Only rivals I pretended were friends.
But at that moment with my head in the clouds and my stomach in my throat, I felt like the strangers next to me were something else. I couldn't even see their faces properly. I saw glimpses every time a car flew past blinding us in dizzying light. There were two boys and a girl. At the front the same man whose shoes I'd barfed on, and next to him sat the little girl who had twisted in her chair and was singing along with the others. Revelling in my spinning head and twirling thoughts, I let my head sag against the window. The others were still shouting over each other. None of us realized where we were.
Where we were going.
I started sobering up when the laughter and shouting faded into murmurs and giggles, and then they stopped all together. The boy next to me was snoring, his head on my shoulder. I was tired, my body, my limbs, every part of me screaming for me to let myself slip into darkness. But the car was picking up momentum. We were on a highway.
Slipping in and out of awareness, I remember the car door opening and someone pulling me out. I remember stumbling forwards and almost slipping into water. Cool, refreshing water. It sparkled beneath me underneath a crescent moon. My feet were bare, though I wasn't sure when I'd taken my shoes off. I remember being escorted onto a boat. I marvelled at the size. Not exactly ferry sized, but it was the type the 1% own. You know, the elite.
We were escorted on board. Nobody was complaining or protesting. I was aware of what was going on, but I couldn't do anything. I couldn't speak or cry out. I couldn't fully move my body. It wasn't the affects of alcohol, it was something else. Something that had paralysed my limbs. I lay down on the deck and searched for stars in the darkness above me, and when the sky lightened, I watched the sun rise, a blur of cotton candy pink and white spreading across the horizon.
It was only when the first glimpses of the sun were appearing, reflecting in ocean waves lulling us back and forth, when I realised my hands were tied behind my back. Even riding between half-drunk and sober, panic filled me like poison. I managed to sit up, but my body flopped back down again, like it refused to comply.
"Hello?" My voice was a whimper. When I twisted my head to the left, the others were lying next to me fast asleep. I finally got a proper look at them. The boy next to me had chestnut hair and pale skin, glitter speckling his cheeks. He lay on his back, his eyes shut, lips parted peacefully. Next to him was a girl with shoulder length red hair and a guy with dirty blonde curls peeking from a baseball cap. They were on in club wear, t-shirts covered in sweat stains, and jeans. The girl had a heart painted on her left cheek, mascara smeared under her eyes. Their shoes had been taken too. I nudged the guy next to me, but he didn't respond. When I tried to scream, my voice came out hoarse and wrong.
Time went by slowly, and I spent it staring at the clouds and trying and failing to wrench myself out of my restraints. My wrists were stinging when footsteps sounded. They were gentle, almost like a dogs, pitter-pattering on the deck. I squeezed my eyes shut, but when the footsteps stopped in front of me, I risked cracking them open. The little girl from the night before loomed over me with the same grin.
"They're amazing!" she sang, dancing across the deck, twirling and doing little spins. "They're so much better than the other ones! They were too old and wrinkly!"
I had barely enough time to register what she was saying before the girl was flicking me in the face.
"Elizabeth!" She giggled.
Fully sober now, I shook my head, but I couldn't speak.
"You little bitch."
When I risked a glance to my left, the boy lying next to me was squirming to get up, struggling in his restraints. "Did you do this?" His voice was a soft croak, barely a yell. "Did you fucking kidnap us?"
"Kidnap?" Another voice. The redhaired girl was squeaking, rolling around trying to get up. Her sharp cries woke the other boy up, the kid with the baseball cap. Letting out an exhalation of breath, he sat up with a groan, blinking in the sunlight. I recognised his voice. He had been the one yelling Vine quotes. I had only known his laugh, the momentary flash of his sparkling grin last night in the car.
Now he looked confused, his eyes frenzied.
The little girl giggled. "Freddie doesn't swear." She said, pointing to the boy next to me. "If you swear I'll make you regret it."
The boy leaned back with a scowl, pulling at his bound hands. "Oh yeah?" He murmured, his dark eyes challenging her. "What are you going to do, huh? Give me a dolly makeover?"
Cocking her head, the little girl pouted. "You're mean." She said, folding her arms. "I don't want you to be Freddie if you're mean."
"Freddie?" The boy raised a brow.
Her expression lit up. "Yes! Freddie! He's the smart one in Mr Pickles' gang. He unmasks all the monsters!" Skipping over our legs, the girl pointed to each of us. "You're Freddie and Elizabeth," she said to the boy and I, and then she danced over to the others. "You're Raggy, and you're Daffy!"
It took me a moment to register the names, though before I could speak, the redhaired girl got there first. She laughed nervously, though her eyes were wide and frantic. "Are you talking about—"
"Scooby Doo." The boy with the baseball cap finished. "She's talking about Scooby Fucking Doo."
The girl lost her smile. Her small hands clenched into fists. "No! You're not listening!" I was only aware of her stamping her feet on the deck, and then something was hitting me like a living entity, a shrill screeching noise slamming into my skull, the love child of a dentist drill and a fire alarm, but a thousand times worse. Her scream filled me with ice, puncturing my lungs.
I found myself gasping for breath, sucking in precious oxygen when all the wind was knocked from lungs, my head slamming against the wooden deck.
But I barely felt the impact. I fought my restraints, screaming into the air for mercy. All I could think about was blocking out the noise. It was going to fucking kill me. Something warm and wet slipped from my ear and I shrieked. I thought she was going to continue, I thought the crazy girl was going to blow out my brains. But when she stopped abruptly, I felt an overwhelming urge to wrap my arms around her and hug her for giving me my breath back. "It's not Scooby Doo." The girl said with finality. When none of us answered, she stamped her foot. "I said it's not Scooby Doo!"
The others were groaning, lying on their front. While, ironically, the girl was humming the What's New Scooby Doo theme tune. "What the fuck is her problem?!" the boy next to me hissed. I glimpsed a scarlet smear near his head. His eyes were squeezed shut, tears staining his cheeks.
"Well?" the girl yelled. "What is it called?"
Warm arms wound around me and pulled me to knees. As soon as I was upright, I had to swallow vomit shooting back up. The others were yanked up too, forced to face a six-year-old's wrath.
"Mr Pickles and Company." She said through her teeth. "Repeat it back to me."
We did. But it wasn't loud enough.
"I can't hear you!" she cupped her ear, a manic smile spreading across her lips.
"Mr Pickles and Company!" We yelled back.
Satisfied, she nodded, skipping over to the redhaired girl and running her small fingers through the girl's hair. She grasped a fistful and yanked—hard. The redhead squeaked. "If you keep making oopsies, I'll turn your tummy's inside out so your wiggly wriggly's will all fall out."
I stayed silent after that. The boat docked at a small island. It wasn't the type from movies where castaways get stranded. This island is inhabited. But there is only one building, and the rest is trees. We were taken to a modern looking building with glass panels and automatic doors. When I was shoved inside an air-con blasted icy air in my face. It was a relief from the blistering heat. I was surprised when the others stayed quiet, though I wasn't surprised. I was sure "wiggly wriggly's" were in fact intestines. And after being subjected to her banshee like wail, I had no doubts the girl was capable of something as horrifying as that.
The building reminded me of one of those insane Youtuber mansions. Everything was pristine and perfect. We were taken up an elevator and then to a small room where a burly looking man sat behind a desk. In front of him was a laptop and a coffee mug.
When we were pushed in, he surveyed us with a smile. My head was still topsy turvy. I knew if I started talking, I'd start screaming. I'd demand to know where I was. So I kept my mouth shut.
"Welcome!" He nodded at us. "I trust my daughter gave you a warm welcome?"
Neither of us spoke, and the man cleared his throat. "Now, I know you're scared. But trust me, you have all been chosen to serve a purpose." He spread out his arms in a "ta-da!" motion. "You're going to be looking after some very special children by being their... let's say...entertainment?"
"What?" The boy who I had christened Watermelon because of the smell of his hair, scoffed. "What are you talking about? Do you even know what you've done? Dude, this is fucking illegal!"
Baseball cap joined in. "You kidnapped us to act out your daughter's Walmart version of Scooby Doo?"
The man's expression didn't waver. "You have been handpicked from the top acting school's in the country. We have no doubt you will fail to entertain our children. After all, you four are talented, are you not? Now, our kids are not your average children. They are incredibly gifted, and whatever they say, well, they get. Recently they became quite fond of the cartoon you are referring to. We of course gave them what they wanted, but our original's didn't quite fit the part. The kids did not like them."
His gaze flicked to me. "That is where you come in."
"You're kidding me." Watermelon said under his breath.
"Mmm." The man continued. "Now, unlike cartoons and children's television, our children can bend reality however they like. If they want to get rid of... certain characters or change them, they can."
"Get rid?" The redhaired girl jumped in. "Do you mean—oh god, do you mean kill?"
"Kill is... a strong word," He murmured. "It's up to the children. Most of our originals were turned into monsters, or as you say, they were... taken care of. One complaint was that they were too old."
Watermelon shook his head. "Fuck this," he spat. "We're not doing this. You can't make us!"
The man hummed. "Please turn your attention to the screen of my laptop. I would bring Melanie in, but she is having breakfast with the other children. So, hopefully I will be able to sway you."
When he turned the laptop around, I found myself staring at a video player.
Clearing his throat, the man gestured to the laptop screen. "Bella Torres, Ethan Decker, Sapphire Easterbrook, and Jonas Lockhart," He addressed us. "You all attended drama school's in New York, correct?"
"Yeah, I dropped out!" The redhaired girl hissed out. "I sucked!"
The man raised a brow. "Isabella. Now, we both know that's not true."
The screen flashed to a video. A boy on in the centre of a stage. He was singing a song from Wicked. It was Watermelon, and he had a voice like I'd never heard. The kind I dreamed of having. The screen flicked to the redhead dancing a complicated routine, a confident smile spread across her perfectly made up lips. Then another stage in another school. This time it was Baseball Cap. He was on his knees reading a Hamilton monologue, his voice heavy and emotional, emphasising every word.
They were good.
No, they were amazing.
I had spent most of my life obsessed with myself, and the three of them had blown me out of the park.
Finally... me. I recognise the stage I'd stood on for a whole year, my circle of toxic classmates that made me want to rip my hair out. It was during our showcase, the best show I'd done. Right before Crystal James had shoved me off the fucking stage. Thankfully, that part wasn't shown.
The man smiled widely.
As you can see, you all excelled. It was your choice to drop out, and you were losses to your teachers."
The screen flashed again. At first I didn't know what I was looking at. Even when the others started crying out and lunging forwards only to be dragged back by the guards standing behind us. Then I was looking at my mother. She was sitting in our tiny living room, her hands tied behind her back, a gun pressed into the flesh of her left temple. When I screamed, the man looked satisfied. "Now, I'm fairly sure we have a deal? You make our kids happy, and your loves ones continue on in their daily lives."
I didn't realise how "gifted" our audience really were until we started.
I wore a bright orange dress and knee high socks. When I was handed glasses to put on, I shook my head. "I don't need them." I'd managed to get out. I had 20/20 vision. I've never needed glasses
Melanie popped her head into the room, wearing her usual grin. She waved a hand in front of my face. "How many fingers?"
She was holding up five, but the longer I stared at them, my vision began to blur. It was like losing a piece of me. My sight. When I stumbled back, Melanie slid the pair of glasses on my face. I could see perfectly. Horrified, I'd taken them off. But I couldn't see without them. She had taken my sight.
Melanie had taken my fucking sight.
It wasn't just me. When our small group were forced in front of a dozen children gathered together, Jonas sprouted dark red hair out of nowhere when a small boy glared at him. Bella grew a foot taller, her hair turning silk blonde, a red headband flashing into existence on her head. When Ethan's feet lifted from the floor and he let out a shriek, the children laughed in delight. Melanie was at the front.
"Freddie has superpowers!"
"He has WHAT?!" The boy struggled to stay in the air, though the kids helped him, lifting their hands and turning them clockwise, Ethan was able to float across our heads, though he was kicking his legs.
"Please! Get me—get me down!"
When I pulled off my first mask as Elizabeth Silly, my fingers curled under a real person's skin. And I pulled. I pulled and pulled until the ghost mask lifted, along with their face. The others didn't react after several times. We became desensitised to it. It became the norm. But the thing beneath kept talking. "Meddling kids!" They growled. "I would have got away with it if it wasn't for—"
"Mr Pickles!" The four of us laughed. Jonas patted the head of some poor dog.
It was our fourth Mr Pickles.
I got good at laughing.
I got good at hiding my screams behind my over the top giggles as Elizabeth Silly.
It wasn't until right at the end of our final episode of season two, when I stopped laughing.
I stopped smiling.
I stopped fucking trying.
Bella's character had turned to the bad side. She had become an evil ghost person, and Mr Pickles and Company had to stop her. We had to— stop her. Oh god, we had to stop her.
We read our lines from a monitor hanging from the ceiling. In outdoor scenes, it's displayed on a table.
RAGGY: You're a bad person, Daffy! Mr Pickles is very upset with you!
When Ethan read his line, his voice caught. He was already reading the stage directions underneath.
[STEPPING FORWARD WITH A SMILE, OUR HERO FREDDIE REACHES INTO DAFFY'S CHEST AND PULLS OUT HER HEART. HER EVILNESS IS GONE! ONCE AGAIN MR PICKLES AND COMPANY HAVE SAVED THE WORLD!"
"No." Ethan whispered, stumbling back. "No, I'm not... I'm not doing that."
Bella didn't move. There were tears in her eyes. Her fists were clenched at her side.
"Do it." She gritted out. I knew after what she had seen, she was tired.
Bella wanted out. And then as Daffy, "Go on, Freddie! I dare you!"
We all knew Ethan was capable of it. He was the season's superhero, after all. Ethan had been turned into a freak, a Captain America/Peter Parker whatever the fuck he was by these psycho children.
I don't know why Ethan did what his lines said.
I'll still never know why he followed the script and Bella's words.
I don't want to write what happened to Bella. I don't want to write it because I can still see it. I still see Ethan's fingers puncture her chest, and whatever reality that I was clinging onto collapsed. Bella's heart looked almost cartoonish in Ethan's hand, a pulpy mass of scarlet squelched between his fist.
Bella is dead.
I watched him pull her heart from her chest like it was... like it was easy.
Another Bella has been brought in. She came last night, screaming and crying. We're kept in a glass cage overnight. It's barely big enough for two people, never mind four. We don't have beds. We're given basic food and water, and the little brats make visits every night. They press their faces against the glass and giggle, pointing and laughing. When Ethan tells them to fuck off, they take his voice.
When I cry, they take my tears.
To them, we're zoo animals.
I grabbed a guards phone this morning. I can't call anyone, but I can put out some kind of call for help. I don't know where we are... there is no name of the island. At least I haven't heard one.
Call my school.
Tell them Sapphire Easterbrook needs help. Call the police. You're our only chance. The amount of power these kids give off, I'm not surprised I'm able to connect to some kind of network. You need to get help. I don't want to keep playing Elizabeth Silly. I can't.
I won't.
submitted by Trash_Tia to DrCreepensVault [link] [comments]
Freshly fired from my job as a pizza girl and too scared to go home and tell my parents I was in fact a waste of space, I found myself where every other nineteen year old kidult with no life and barely any cash would go. A club.
The place wasn't exactly the height of New York and the outside smelled of piss, but it was a distraction. And I really needed a distraction. I needed to not think about my life that was slowly crumbling apart, coming apart by the seams. I didn't want to think about what mom's expression would be when I told her I was fired – again. In the mess which was my brain, the only possible cure to my shitty mood and to not feel anything... at least for the next few hours, was alcohol. And dancing. I needed to dance and sing and drink and whatever, to forget that I was a disgrace to society. The pizza job was shit, anyway. It was meagre cash and the pizza's smelled like barf.
I'd like to say it wasn't an accident when I spilled Coke all over a customer, because I hated the owners. They treated their staff, who all happened to be like me--- broke ass college dropouts—like dirt. But it was my fault. I was too busy dancing to the radio, not really paying much attention.
The customer, a woman in maybe her mid 40's with straw-like hair and stains on her blouse, had been heading over to me, probably to yell at me for something out of my control, and we collided. It was pretty comical. Coke went everywhere. On her, on me, on the poor kid behind the counter. All resulting in my inevitable firing. But I was glad. I didn't want to work there. I was only working there for cash.
First, before I get into my story, and the reason you clicked on this-- I want to get several things straight. I am not a waste of space. I was something—at least that's what I like to tell myself.
Yes, I lived with my mom, and yes I was broke. Yes, I had no friends, and yes, I wasn't planning on getting another job. At least not yet. Instead I wanted to bask in my own melancholy. I wanted to dwell on my potential future which had been ripped away before I even got a taste of it. I've wanted to be an actress my whole life.
I grew up watching movies and musicals, and I wanted to be like them. Who didn't? I watched Disney Channel throughout my childhood and tweens, of course I wanted to be like Miley Cyrus and Selena Gomez. I started high school with a goal. I was going to get into a top drama school and I was going to be famous. Easier said than done. However, I was determined.
I ignored the concept of friends and socialising and studied way into weeknights. I auditioned for our school show every year and managed to score the top part every time. I'd like to say I was thriving. I threw away my high school experience to get where I wanted in life, and it worked. I graduated with a 4.0 and worked in my local café to pay for tuition. Mom saved up her whole life to provide me with the college experience I'd dreamed of. She moved to NY for a new job, so it was ideal for the both of us.
Mom moved in to a two bedroom house in southern Brooklyn, and I moved into dorms.
Though the problem was when I actually started college.
After a gruelling audition I got into The American Academy of Dramatic Arts. I was told I had talent. I was told I would go somewhere. And I believed them. I believed that I was really going to live my dream. Well. Throughout high school I barely had competition. When a freshman came along, or a kid in my year suddenly decided that they were going to have the main parts and solo's, I made sure to let them know that the parts were mine. That they would always be mine, and they were fools for even trying. Bitchy, I know. But if I was going to be a star, I was going to tear down my competition. College was where everything came crashing down.
I was a small town girl used to being in the spotlight. I was used to picking off my competition. College was when reality hit me in the face. I wasn't expecting kids like me. Exactly like me.
Kids who were obsessed with getting that limelight I craved. Kids that weren't afraid to fight each other to the death to get to the top. Crystal James was a carbon copy of me. But she was far worse. Crystal had an ego the size of a continent. Think of every mean-girl esque bitch you've seen in all those 2000's chic flicks. That was Crystal.
Her goal was to get to the top, just like me. So obviously we clashed. I'm not going to get into the details, because I don't have time, but my dream (or pipe-dream) ended at the New York Academy for Dramatic Arts, specifically the night of our final show-case.
It was our third show, and Crystal, after drinking too much champagne, had "accidentally" shoved me off stage during my performance. She insisted it was a complete accident and had bumped into me, though I'm not even sure what it was. I was knocked unconscious when I hit the ground and had fucked up my ankle. So, I was out, and Crystal was in as my understudy.
It hurt to see her play the part I had worked so hard for. It made me think. Crystal was able to snatch up my part barely having to lift a finger, and I was left in the dust. Weirdly enough, nobody suspected foul play.
My teacher told me I was being dramatic, and my classmates stuck up their noses. Better me than them. I saw it in their expressions. All they wanted was success. All they wanted was fame. So I marched, or I guess limped, to the principal's office, and told him I was done. I was quitting, and that I hoped they had a great show. He didn't try to talk me out of it. The school was full of students like me, who acted just like I did. Like spoiled, narcissistic children. I was done with that part of me, because I realised that I had hurt others to get to the top, and karma was one hell of a bitch.
And then I spat on his desk.
Fast forward several months, NYADA was less of a memory and more of a fever dream. I was standing in front of a club, in a line of maybe twenty or thirty people. Music was blaring, and it was my type of music. Maybe they were having an 80's night. Mama Mia was blasting, and the kids in the line were drunkenly jumping up and down, laughing and falling over each other.
My initial plan was to get wasted and see where the night lead. I had two crumpled twenties in my pocket. I'd posted the rest through my mom's bedroom door for rent. I wasn't dressed for clubbing, still wearing the white cotton polo shirt I wore for work, and skinny jeans. The material was sticking to my flushed skin and the night air wasn't helping. It was hot for 11pm.
I was expecting it to cool down, but even outside I was sweating. When the group of kids in front of me ducked into the club, their shadows swallowed by blinding disco lights, I shuffled forwards, already feeling self-conscious.
It had been a spontaneous idea to go to a club, despite never going to one before. I had no idea what I was doing or what I was supposed to do. All I knew that there was music and dancing, and noise. I just needed noise to drown out those existential thoughts that were driving me mad. Where was I going to be in 5 years? Was I going to be homeless? Maybe I'd somehow make it big via You-tube or Tiktok. I was weighing the positives and negatives of starting a You-tube channel, not really paying attention, when a voice startled me out of my daydream, a gruff yell over the music.
"Mask?"
At first I hadn't fully heard the bouncer. When I looked up to frown at him, he wore a scowl. The guy had bulky shoulders and thick dark hair, a sheen of sweat glistening light tanned skin. His shirt looked far too tight, cinched to thick, bulging arms. He was supposed to look intimidating, sure, but already in a sour mood, the guy was pissing me off. I had my ID, waving it in his face like a frenzied insect.
"Mask, or no entry, kid."
His words dawned on me and I reached into my bag, pulling out the crumpled mask my mom had stuffed in there a few hours earlier. I put in on quickly, my cheeks burning. "Sorry." I managed to say, and he nodded with an eyeroll. "Remember it next time," he grunted. "No mask, no entry."
Smiling my best smile, even if it was behind my mask, I ducked into the club, joining the crowd of dancers. It was beautiful. The lights and the music and the sweaty bodies slamming into me. Everybody wore a mask, but I still saw the glee and excitement and euphoria lit up their eyes. Mama Mia ended, quickly followed by Take on Me.
That was a song I liked. It was my mom's favourite. Nodding my head to the beat and letting myself sway to lyrics that were definitely not written to sway to—I pushed through dancers until I got to the bar. I can't remember what I ordered, but after several of them, and a few on the house—I started to lose myself in the music and the dancing, until my head was spinning itself off of its axis. When I ordered water, I was given something else.
Definitely another alcoholic beverage. It stung my tongue and the back of my throat. I started to feel... giddy. But I knew I was going to be sick. When I had the exit in my sight, I started towards it, but someone's arm shoved me back. Then another body slammed into me, and it felt like I was flying. Colours were magnified, and the music felt like it was in my blood, like it was inside me, each lyric trying to tear its way out.
I was laughing, I'm not sure what at, when I turned and found myself face to face with a small girl. She was maybe six or seven, with blonde hair pulled into pigtails. Her dress was bright pink with sequins, and in my state, that was what I focused on. How cool her dress looked in the flashing lights. The girl wasn't wearing a mask. She was the only one in the club who wasn't. Her smile was bright, blue eyes pinpointed on me. "Elizabeth!" the little girl shouted over the music, pointing at me. Her words confused me, but part of me wondered if I'd drank so much I was hallucinating. Or I'd been roofied.
Instead of doing what I really wanted to do, which was find somewhere to barf, I found myself following the little girl, who after doing a spin, her dress flying around her, she twisted around and ran for the exit, disappearing into grinding bodies. Looking around, nobody seemed to notice the girl except me. I wasn't thinking straight. All I cared about was seeing if I was actually losing my mind. I followed the girl, like Alice had followed the rabbit, and ended up outside the club on my hands and knees. I was barfing up my late lunch before I even knew what was happening. The world was tilted, all the colour sucked into the night. There was nobody around, only the little girl with her back to me.
She turned to face me, that bright smile still plastered on her face. "Elizabeth!" she shouted, bouncing up and down. "You're Elizabeth!"
I stood up shakily, swallowing what was trying to creep back up. "Hey there!" I said, though my voice was slurred and strange. I'd gotten drunk before, mostly at parties at college. But this was something entirely else. I could barely keep my footing. "Are you okay? You seem kind of, uhm... lost?"
The girl shook her head, her hair flying around her in a whirlwind. "Elizabeth!"
"No, I'm Saffy." I introduced myself and held out a hand. Though when I did, I nearly toppled over.
"Melanie, are you sure it's her?"
Another voice hit my eardrums. This time it was a male grumble. When I twisted around, I nearly fell again, and he grabbed my arm, steeling me. There was a man in front of me. He was tall, youngish looking. Maybe late thirties. Though I couldn't tell because he was wearing raybans. The man seemed to size me up. "Huh." He chuckled. "I mean if you're sure, Mel's. Is that all of them?"
"Uh-huh!" The little girl giggled and made her way towards me and wrapped her arms around my lower waist. She had a tight grip for how small she was. "Elizabeth."
"Saffy." I corrected. "Sapphire, if you'd like."
My words were sluggish before I barfed on the guy's fancy looking shoes, choking on the rest of my greeting. Though if anything, I found it funny.
"Sorry!" Slapping my hand over my mouth I burped, and more barf crawled up my throat, filling my mouth. I was ready to introduce the guy to what was left of my stomach lining, but before I could I was being violently shoved backwards. I was ready to hit rough concrete, though instead my back was slamming into warm leather. The temperature changed instantly, from cool night air that had finally cooled down, to somewhere inside—somewhere muggy and uncomfortable.
It was a car. But that didn't hit me until it was moving, and I found myself pressed against someone's back. There were others with me, though they were talking over each other, laughing and singing. Some guy was yelling Vine quotes, and knowing them, I joined in.
In my mind, it was an adventure. When I managed to straighten up, I stuck my head out of the window which was open, screaming into the night. I remember my hair was a whirlwind, hitting me in the face. I remember the air felt amazing against my clammy forehead. I think I started dancing, though more of a sit-down swaying jig. My head was still spinning, the deluge of passing traffic sending me more and more hyper. When I thrust my elbows back, a boy's yelp ricocheted in the back of my mind.
"Ow! Who raised you, animals?" I felt movement, sticky, sweaty skin against mine. I was greeted to a mouthful of his hair which smelled and tasted like cheap axe spray and watermelon. Ignoring him, I focused on the cool air whipping in my face. Behind me, a girl and another guy were laughing together, and I felt a sense of... solidarity. I had never had friends. Only rivals I pretended were friends.
But at that moment with my head in the clouds and my stomach in my throat, I felt like the strangers next to me were something else. I couldn't even see their faces properly. I saw glimpses every time a car flew past blinding us in dizzying light. There were two boys and a girl. At the front the same man whose shoes I'd barfed on, and next to him sat the little girl who had twisted in her chair and was singing along with the others. Revelling in my spinning head and twirling thoughts, I let my head sag against the window. The others were still shouting over each other. None of us realized where we were.
Where we were going.
I started sobering up when the laughter and shouting faded into murmurs and giggles, and then they stopped all together. The boy next to me was snoring, his head on my shoulder. I was tired, my body, my limbs, every part of me screaming for me to let myself slip into darkness. But the car was picking up momentum. We were on a highway.
Slipping in and out of awareness, I remember the car door opening and someone pulling me out. I remember stumbling forwards and almost slipping into water. Cool, refreshing water. It sparkled beneath me underneath a crescent moon. My feet were bare, though I wasn't sure when I'd taken my shoes off. I remember being escorted onto a boat. I marvelled at the size. Not exactly ferry sized, but it was the type the 1% own. You know, the elite.
We were escorted on board. Nobody was complaining or protesting. I was aware of what was going on, but I couldn't do anything. I couldn't speak or cry out. I couldn't fully move my body. It wasn't the affects of alcohol, it was something else. Something that had paralysed my limbs. I lay down on the deck and searched for stars in the darkness above me, and when the sky lightened, I watched the sun rise, a blur of cotton candy pink and white spreading across the horizon.
It was only when the first glimpses of the sun were appearing, reflecting in ocean waves lulling us back and forth, when I realised my hands were tied behind my back. Even riding between half-drunk and sober, panic filled me like poison. I managed to sit up, but my body flopped back down again, like it refused to comply.
"Hello?" My voice was a whimper. When I twisted my head to the left, the others were lying next to me fast asleep. I finally got a proper look at them. The boy next to me had chestnut hair and pale skin, glitter speckling his cheeks. He lay on his back, his eyes shut, lips parted peacefully. Next to him was a girl with shoulder length red hair and a guy with dirty blonde curls peeking from a baseball cap. They were on in club wear, t-shirts covered in sweat stains, and jeans. The girl had a heart painted on her left cheek, mascara smeared under her eyes. Their shoes had been taken too. I nudged the guy next to me, but he didn't respond. When I tried to scream, my voice came out hoarse and wrong.
Time went by slowly, and I spent it staring at the clouds and trying and failing to wrench myself out of my restraints. My wrists were stinging when footsteps sounded. They were gentle, almost like a dogs, pitter-pattering on the deck. I squeezed my eyes shut, but when the footsteps stopped in front of me, I risked cracking them open. The little girl from the night before loomed over me with the same grin.
"They're amazing!" she sang, dancing across the deck, twirling and doing little spins. "They're so much better than the other ones! They were too old and wrinkly!"
I had barely enough time to register what she was saying before the girl was flicking me in the face.
"Elizabeth!" She giggled.
Fully sober now, I shook my head, but I couldn't speak.
"You little bitch."
When I risked a glance to my left, the boy lying next to me was squirming to get up, struggling in his restraints. "Did you do this?" His voice was a soft croak, barely a yell. "Did you fucking kidnap us?"
"Kidnap?" Another voice. The redhaired girl was squeaking, rolling around trying to get up. Her sharp cries woke the other boy up, the kid with the baseball cap. Letting out an exhalation of breath, he sat up with a groan, blinking in the sunlight. I recognised his voice. He had been the one yelling Vine quotes. I had only known his laugh, the momentary flash of his sparkling grin last night in the car.
Now he looked confused, his eyes frenzied.
The little girl giggled. "Freddie doesn't swear." She said, pointing to the boy next to me. "If you swear I'll make you regret it."
The boy leaned back with a scowl, pulling at his bound hands. "Oh yeah?" He murmured, his dark eyes challenging her. "What are you going to do, huh? Give me a dolly makeover?"
Cocking her head, the little girl pouted. "You're mean." She said, folding her arms. "I don't want you to be Freddie if you're mean."
"Freddie?" The boy raised a brow.
Her expression lit up. "Yes! Freddie! He's the smart one in Mr Pickles' gang. He unmasks all the monsters!" Skipping over our legs, the girl pointed to each of us. "You're Freddie and Elizabeth," she said to the boy and I, and then she danced over to the others. "You're Raggy, and you're Daffy!"
It took me a moment to register the names, though before I could speak, the redhaired girl got there first. She laughed nervously, though her eyes were wide and frantic. "Are you talking about—"
"Scooby Doo." The boy with the baseball cap finished. "She's talking about Scooby Fucking Doo."
The girl lost her smile. Her small hands clenched into fists. "No! You're not listening!" I was only aware of her stamping her feet on the deck, and then something was hitting me like a living entity, a shrill screeching noise slamming into my skull, the love child of a dentist drill and a fire alarm, but a thousand times worse. Her scream filled me with ice, puncturing my lungs.
I found myself gasping for breath, sucking in precious oxygen when all the wind was knocked from lungs, my head slamming against the wooden deck.
But I barely felt the impact. I fought my restraints, screaming into the air for mercy. All I could think about was blocking out the noise. It was going to fucking kill me. Something warm and wet slipped from my ear and I shrieked. I thought she was going to continue, I thought the crazy girl was going to blow out my brains. But when she stopped abruptly, I felt an overwhelming urge to wrap my arms around her and hug her for giving me my breath back. "It's not Scooby Doo." The girl said with finality. When none of us answered, she stamped her foot. "I said it's not Scooby Doo!"
The others were groaning, lying on their front. While, ironically, the girl was humming the What's New Scooby Doo theme tune. "What the fuck is her problem?!" the boy next to me hissed. I glimpsed a scarlet smear near his head. His eyes were squeezed shut, tears staining his cheeks.
"Well?" the girl yelled. "What is it called?"
Warm arms wound around me and pulled me to knees. As soon as I was upright, I had to swallow vomit shooting back up. The others were yanked up too, forced to face a six-year-old's wrath.
"Mr Pickles and Company." She said through her teeth. "Repeat it back to me."
We did. But it wasn't loud enough.
"I can't hear you!" she cupped her ear, a manic smile spreading across her lips.
"Mr Pickles and Company!" We yelled back.
Satisfied, she nodded, skipping over to the redhaired girl and running her small fingers through the girl's hair. She grasped a fistful and yanked—hard. The redhead squeaked. "If you keep making oopsies, I'll turn your tummy's inside out so your wiggly wriggly's will all fall out."
I stayed silent after that. The boat docked at a small island. It wasn't the type from movies where castaways get stranded. This island is inhabited. But there is only one building, and the rest is trees. We were taken to a modern looking building with glass panels and automatic doors. When I was shoved inside an air-con blasted icy air in my face. It was a relief from the blistering heat. I was surprised when the others stayed quiet, though I wasn't surprised. I was sure "wiggly wriggly's" were in fact intestines. And after being subjected to her banshee like wail, I had no doubts the girl was capable of something as horrifying as that.
The building reminded me of one of those insane Youtuber mansions. Everything was pristine and perfect. We were taken up an elevator and then to a small room where a burly looking man sat behind a desk. In front of him was a laptop and a coffee mug.
When we were pushed in, he surveyed us with a smile. My head was still topsy turvy. I knew if I started talking, I'd start screaming. I'd demand to know where I was. So I kept my mouth shut.
"Welcome!" He nodded at us. "I trust my daughter gave you a warm welcome?"
Neither of us spoke, and the man cleared his throat. "Now, I know you're scared. But trust me, you have all been chosen to serve a purpose." He spread out his arms in a "ta-da!" motion. "You're going to be looking after some very special children by being their... let's say...entertainment?"
"What?" The boy who I had christened Watermelon because of the smell of his hair, scoffed. "What are you talking about? Do you even know what you've done? Dude, this is fucking illegal!"
Baseball cap joined in. "You kidnapped us to act out your daughter's Walmart version of Scooby Doo?"
The man's expression didn't waver. "You have been handpicked from the top acting school's in the country. We have no doubt you will fail to entertain our children. After all, you four are talented, are you not? Now, our kids are not your average children. They are incredibly gifted, and whatever they say, well, they get. Recently they became quite fond of the cartoon you are referring to. We of course gave them what they wanted, but our original's didn't quite fit the part. The kids did not like them."
His gaze flicked to me. "That is where you come in."
"You're kidding me." Watermelon said under his breath.
"Mmm." The man continued. "Now, unlike cartoons and children's television, our children can bend reality however they like. If they want to get rid of... certain characters or change them, they can."
"Get rid?" The redhaired girl jumped in. "Do you mean—oh god, do you mean kill?"
"Kill is... a strong word," He murmured. "It's up to the children. Most of our originals were turned into monsters, or as you say, they were... taken care of. One complaint was that they were too old."
Watermelon shook his head. "Fuck this," he spat. "We're not doing this. You can't make us!"
The man hummed. "Please turn your attention to the screen of my laptop. I would bring Melanie in, but she is having breakfast with the other children. So, hopefully I will be able to sway you."
When he turned the laptop around, I found myself staring at a video player.
Clearing his throat, the man gestured to the laptop screen. "Bella Torres, Ethan Decker, Sapphire Easterbrook, and Jonas Lockhart," He addressed us. "You all attended drama school's in New York, correct?"
"Yeah, I dropped out!" The redhaired girl hissed out. "I sucked!"
The man raised a brow. "Isabella. Now, we both know that's not true."
The screen flashed to a video. A boy on in the centre of a stage. He was singing a song from Wicked. It was Watermelon, and he had a voice like I'd never heard. The kind I dreamed of having. The screen flicked to the redhead dancing a complicated routine, a confident smile spread across her perfectly made up lips. Then another stage in another school. This time it was Baseball Cap. He was on his knees reading a Hamilton monologue, his voice heavy and emotional, emphasising every word.
They were good.
No, they were amazing.
I had spent most of my life obsessed with myself, and the three of them had blown me out of the park.
Finally... me. I recognise the stage I'd stood on for a whole year, my circle of toxic classmates that made me want to rip my hair out. It was during our showcase, the best show I'd done. Right before Crystal James had shoved me off the fucking stage. Thankfully, that part wasn't shown.
The man smiled widely.
As you can see, you all excelled. It was your choice to drop out, and you were losses to your teachers."
The screen flashed again. At first I didn't know what I was looking at. Even when the others started crying out and lunging forwards only to be dragged back by the guards standing behind us. Then I was looking at my mother. She was sitting in our tiny living room, her hands tied behind her back, a gun pressed into the flesh of her left temple. When I screamed, the man looked satisfied. "Now, I'm fairly sure we have a deal? You make our kids happy, and your loves ones continue on in their daily lives."
I didn't realise how "gifted" our audience really were until we started.
I wore a bright orange dress and knee high socks. When I was handed glasses to put on, I shook my head. "I don't need them." I'd managed to get out. I had 20/20 vision. I've never needed glasses
Melanie popped her head into the room, wearing her usual grin. She waved a hand in front of my face. "How many fingers?"
She was holding up five, but the longer I stared at them, my vision began to blur. It was like losing a piece of me. My sight. When I stumbled back, Melanie slid the pair of glasses on my face. I could see perfectly. Horrified, I'd taken them off. But I couldn't see without them. She had taken my sight.
Melanie had taken my fucking sight.
It wasn't just me. When our small group were forced in front of a dozen children gathered together, Jonas sprouted dark red hair out of nowhere when a small boy glared at him. Bella grew a foot taller, her hair turning silk blonde, a red headband flashing into existence on her head. When Ethan's feet lifted from the floor and he let out a shriek, the children laughed in delight. Melanie was at the front.
"Freddie has superpowers!"
"He has WHAT?!" The boy struggled to stay in the air, though the kids helped him, lifting their hands and turning them clockwise, Ethan was able to float across our heads, though he was kicking his legs.
"Please! Get me—get me down!"
When I pulled off my first mask as Elizabeth Silly, my fingers curled under a real person's skin. And I pulled. I pulled and pulled until the ghost mask lifted, along with their face. The others didn't react after several times. We became desensitised to it. It became the norm. But the thing beneath kept talking. "Meddling kids!" They growled. "I would have got away with it if it wasn't for—"
"Mr Pickles!" The four of us laughed. Jonas patted the head of some poor dog.
It was our fourth Mr Pickles.
I got good at laughing.
I got good at hiding my screams behind my over the top giggles as Elizabeth Silly.
It wasn't until right at the end of our final episode of season two, when I stopped laughing.
I stopped smiling.
I stopped fucking trying.
Bella's character had turned to the bad side. She had become an evil ghost person, and Mr Pickles and Company had to stop her. We had to— stop her. Oh god, we had to stop her.
We read our lines from a monitor hanging from the ceiling. In outdoor scenes, it's displayed on a table.
RAGGY: You're a bad person, Daffy! Mr Pickles is very upset with you!
When Ethan read his line, his voice caught. He was already reading the stage directions underneath.
[STEPPING FORWARD WITH A SMILE, OUR HERO FREDDIE REACHES INTO DAFFY'S CHEST AND PULLS OUT HER HEART. HER EVILNESS IS GONE! ONCE AGAIN MR PICKLES AND COMPANY HAVE SAVED THE WORLD!"
"No." Ethan whispered, stumbling back. "No, I'm not... I'm not doing that."
Bella didn't move. There were tears in her eyes. Her fists were clenched at her side.
"Do it." She gritted out. I knew after what she had seen, she was tired.
Bella wanted out. And then as Daffy, "Go on, Freddie! I dare you!"
We all knew Ethan was capable of it. He was the season's superhero, after all. Ethan had been turned into a freak, a Captain America/Peter Parker whatever the fuck he was by these psycho children.
I don't know why Ethan did what his lines said.
I'll still never know why he followed the script and Bella's words.
I don't want to write what happened to Bella. I don't want to write it because I can still see it. I still see Ethan's fingers puncture her chest, and whatever reality that I was clinging onto collapsed. Bella's heart looked almost cartoonish in Ethan's hand, a pulpy mass of scarlet squelched between his fist.
Bella is dead.
I watched him pull her heart from her chest like it was... like it was easy.
Another Bella has been brought in. She came last night, screaming and crying. We're kept in a glass cage overnight. It's barely big enough for two people, never mind four. We don't have beds. We're given basic food and water, and the little brats make visits every night. They press their faces against the glass and giggle, pointing and laughing. When Ethan tells them to fuck off, they take his voice.
When I cry, they take my tears.
To them, we're zoo animals.
I grabbed a guards phone this morning. I can't call anyone, but I can put out some kind of call for help. I don't know where we are... there is no name of the island. At least I haven't heard one.
Call my school.
Tell them Sapphire Easterbrook needs help. Call the police. You're our only chance. The amount of power these kids give off, I'm not surprised I'm able to connect to some kind of network. You need to get help. I don't want to keep playing Elizabeth Silly. I can't.
I won't.
2020.08.02 22:12 JahStar6 Who Would You Play?
Alright guys. Let's pretend for the sake of this that we are all as insanely talented as all of the members of Starkid. Who would you like to play in each show? This is my list.
Avpm- Draco(for obvious reasons) Edit: I would also LOVE to be soft boy Quirell.
Mamd- Sally and Joey's heart. Both of these characters I feel are a scarily close representation of myself and I really think it would be fun to play them. Edit: I would like to be Joey just to do the proposal scene through Even Though. Those are my favorite Joey parts and I want to do that so badly.
Avps- Umbridge and Seamus. I know Umbridge has been seen as offensive lately but I wonder if it would be less offensive it she were played by a woman (I'm female). I know her being played by a man isn't the whole of the issue, it's more of how she acts too, but her being played by a woman would fix a lot of the issues(I hope this makes sense). Seamus is just dumb and looks like fun.
Starship- Bug. He's so sweet and cute. I was going to say Taz but I'm not Latina and me playing her would be super offensive. I just wanted to add that she looks fun too. Edit: Krayonder. Basically same reason as Seamus.
Hmb- Robin. Basically the same reasons as Bug. Edit: I would love to do an ensemble track like Meredith or Jaime. I get to be in more songs this way.
Avpsy- Ginny. Idk why but I really loved Ginny in this one. Jaime looks like she had a lot of fun in this one.
Twisted- Princess, Robert's track, and Achmed. Rachel, Robert, and Joe looked like they had the most fun in this show and they were so freaking funny. I would absolutely love to play all of their characters.
Ani- Brian's track and Nick's track. Brian and Nick were super funny is this show. I really really like J.J. and thought he was super cute. Nick was iconic in this show. Obi Wan and Pappy were absolutely the best part of this show for me and I'd like to do it. Edit: I would also love to be Tarkin. I love his awkwardness. I also want to be Mara Jade just to do Back On Top.
Tto- Son, Mother, and Joey's track except for McDoon. I love McDoon but he acts really gross and I don't think I can bring myself to do that. General store guy and all of Joey's other characters were really funny though. Son just looks like something I would have fun doing. Mother is really interesting to me because she is one of the few more serious characters but I love her character and I would like to challenge myself to try it.
Firebringer- Ducker and Molag. They were both just hilarious. The duck is lord shirt is the only physical starkid merch I own. I love them. Edit: My Wiggly came yesterday so that previous statement is now untrue.
Tgwdlm- Lauren's track and Robert's track. I would LOVE to be Emma. She is so cool and another more serious character. She is just the best. I also get to be one of the ICONIC smoke club teens and the bee. Hidgens and HCB are just another level of iconic. I'm also a dancer so I think it would be really fun to do all of their dances.
Black Friday- Lauren's track and Kendall's track. I was going to just say Linda but then I remembered that Lauren gets to be a Sniggle and I really want to to that. Kendall is the same age as me so I think it would be cool to actually do a role made for my age. Hannah is another serious character and there is no way I can do it as well as Kendall, but I don't think I'll completely butcher it so that's good enough.
I read some of your responses and wanted to add to my own list.
submitted by JahStar6 to StarKid [link] [comments]
Avpm- Draco(for obvious reasons) Edit: I would also LOVE to be soft boy Quirell.
Mamd- Sally and Joey's heart. Both of these characters I feel are a scarily close representation of myself and I really think it would be fun to play them. Edit: I would like to be Joey just to do the proposal scene through Even Though. Those are my favorite Joey parts and I want to do that so badly.
Avps- Umbridge and Seamus. I know Umbridge has been seen as offensive lately but I wonder if it would be less offensive it she were played by a woman (I'm female). I know her being played by a man isn't the whole of the issue, it's more of how she acts too, but her being played by a woman would fix a lot of the issues(I hope this makes sense). Seamus is just dumb and looks like fun.
Starship- Bug. He's so sweet and cute. I was going to say Taz but I'm not Latina and me playing her would be super offensive. I just wanted to add that she looks fun too. Edit: Krayonder. Basically same reason as Seamus.
Hmb- Robin. Basically the same reasons as Bug. Edit: I would love to do an ensemble track like Meredith or Jaime. I get to be in more songs this way.
Avpsy- Ginny. Idk why but I really loved Ginny in this one. Jaime looks like she had a lot of fun in this one.
Twisted- Princess, Robert's track, and Achmed. Rachel, Robert, and Joe looked like they had the most fun in this show and they were so freaking funny. I would absolutely love to play all of their characters.
Ani- Brian's track and Nick's track. Brian and Nick were super funny is this show. I really really like J.J. and thought he was super cute. Nick was iconic in this show. Obi Wan and Pappy were absolutely the best part of this show for me and I'd like to do it. Edit: I would also love to be Tarkin. I love his awkwardness. I also want to be Mara Jade just to do Back On Top.
Tto- Son, Mother, and Joey's track except for McDoon. I love McDoon but he acts really gross and I don't think I can bring myself to do that. General store guy and all of Joey's other characters were really funny though. Son just looks like something I would have fun doing. Mother is really interesting to me because she is one of the few more serious characters but I love her character and I would like to challenge myself to try it.
Firebringer- Ducker and Molag. They were both just hilarious. The duck is lord shirt is the only physical starkid merch I own. I love them. Edit: My Wiggly came yesterday so that previous statement is now untrue.
Tgwdlm- Lauren's track and Robert's track. I would LOVE to be Emma. She is so cool and another more serious character. She is just the best. I also get to be one of the ICONIC smoke club teens and the bee. Hidgens and HCB are just another level of iconic. I'm also a dancer so I think it would be really fun to do all of their dances.
Black Friday- Lauren's track and Kendall's track. I was going to just say Linda but then I remembered that Lauren gets to be a Sniggle and I really want to to that. Kendall is the same age as me so I think it would be cool to actually do a role made for my age. Hannah is another serious character and there is no way I can do it as well as Kendall, but I don't think I'll completely butcher it so that's good enough.
I read some of your responses and wanted to add to my own list.
2020.02.24 20:40 dourdan Trials of Adam ch12: A new heaven
 | submitted by dourdan to BarryPepper [link] [comments] Welcome to my novel, inspired by Barry Pepper's role in Crawl (2019) previously: https://www.reddit.com/BarryPeppecomments/f2vo5g/trials_of_adam_ch11_to_hell_and_back/ Chapter 12: I blinked tears from my eyes. Wait? What? Where am I? Looking around, the answer was obvious. Leo and I were back in the hospice room, standing over my dying body. I had to admit I was a bit disappointed. I mean, I’d found the answer, felt the other side. I was ready to go. Maybe not. Everything was the same as when I’d left it. Except now, my daughter was at my side. “Hi, Dad,” she said in a pain-stricken murmur. It was clear she had been crying. I could feel her touch, as she held my hand. It was a feeling like no other. If I had to guess, I would say this was ‘skin-to-skin’ contact, the same as a newborn would receive. My soul fell to its knees, awash with a sense of pure euphoria. Leo placed his hand upon my shoulder. “She’ll always be your link to this plane of reality; the first soul you fell in love with unconditionally.” I knew he was right. I could remember the first moment I held my daughter in my arms. There was something so real, something that grounded my soul, forging a connection to the living world. The respirator was still breathing for me, making me unable to step back into my body. But every touch, every moment, I could feel as if I was still there. "Should I say a few words?" Cece asked no one in particular. Marni placed her hand on our daughter’s shoulder. "Yes, sweetheart,” she said with a nod. “I think he'd like that.” Cece nodded. I could feel her touch my face, closing my eyes. Her movement was gentle, intentional. It was like she was searching for something. “Can you hear me?” I placed my hand upon her back. “Please hear me.” My heart was breaking. All I wanted was one last moment, one last chance to tell I love her. Cece moved her warm fingertips from my eyes to my mouth, pausing to feel whatever breath was exiting my lips. "My father was a good man, a kind man." She started to sob uncontrollably, her body shaking too hard to speak. I put my arms around her, resting my spectral form against her shoulder. I wasn’t ready to say goodbye. “I was such a fuck-up. Oh, God. I’m so sorry.” Cece crossed her arms over her chest, reaching her hands to where mine were. “Adam Severgine, he fucked up a lot. He’d be the first to admit it. But for every fuck-up, he went above and beyond to show the true definition of courage.” Cece leaned in to kiss my forehead the way she did as a little girl. “Wherever you are, I hope you get everything you deserve. Because God put you through hell. You deserve to finally rest. You deserve peace.” I could feel the skin of her fingers, her nails, her touch. “I love you, Dad. I really hope you passed on knowing that.” Cece hands gripped mine as she wept uncontrollably. “I love you too, Cece. Out of everything I accomplished in my life, being your father was my greatest honor.” Leo stroked my hand, removing it from Cece’s. “It’s time.” I forced a nod. "Open your mouth," Leo said, as he put his arms around my ghostly form. "And take your one final, pure breath." "Pure breath?" "It won't be your last." I closed my eyes and did as he asked. I had to trust him, I needed something to believe in. “So, what now?” “Do you surrender your soul, your fate?” “I can only try.” “And that’s all I can ask.” I felt a cool ocean breeze, followed by a sense of calm. When I opened my eyes, all I could see was the sky. "Where are we?" “Right now, we’re hovering.” Leo held me close as we landed in the sand, falling on our knees. “But this little slice if heaven is California.” "Where in California?" I asked, dusting off my bare legs. I was still wearing a hospital gown which felt awkward enough. I looked around, finding myself in the middle of a formal event; a series of tents like a party or a wedding. Yes, this was a wedding. I looked at Leo, he was standing by a poster board sign. “The wedding of Alyssa Blake and Marni Severgine,” Leo said with a chuckle. “Well, wonders never cease.” “Wow.” I couldn’t help but laugh. Jamie hadn’t been kidding: Alyssa and Marni were getting married. Or perhaps they were already. Knowing my two best friends, I could see this being just a party. "So, where are they?" Leo shrugged. "I don’t know I just got here. Take a look around." With that, he vanished in a blink of rainbow-colored light. I walked along the beach, to a white canopy tent. Cece and Alyssa were checking out the snacks and flowers, enjoying the calm, empty beach. Cece wore a red sundress, simple yet elegant, like a true ballet dancepageant queen. She grabbed a paper cup and headed to the drink dispenser. "Is this iced coffee?" Alyssa wore a flowing white gown, with her long blonde hair pulled back in a braid. "Yeah, I made it myself. It’s a special recipe of instant coffee grounds and sugar and vanilla drink powder.” I chuckled. I knew exactly what it was. Alyssa had invented the drink out of military powdered leftovers. The concoction actually tasted pretty amazing, even when made with portable sanitized water. “You made this out of MRE parts?” Cece asked. “My dad used to do something similar, but with cocoa powder and that orange drink stuff.” “Well, that sounds disgusting,” Alyssa said with a laugh. Cece shrugged. “I was five, and it was Dad’s special superhero potion.” That made Alyssa smile, a sweet genuine smirk. “Of course.” “No doubt, your magical potion is so much better.” Cece took a sip, making a face that matched the child-like wonder of her statement. “Do you want some?" Alyssa shook her head, stretching her arms behind her back. "Nah, I should probably just have some water." "Why, are you pregnant?" Cece asked. It was clear she was joking. But Alyssa was blushing like a schoolgirl. "Well, you never know.” My daughter's eyes went wide. Her hands visibly trembled as her cup fell to the floor. "Oh f—k.” Cece took a step backward to avoid the beverage. But it was clear from her expression she was about to cry. “What did you say?" "I took a test. I think it's Adam's baby." Cece cupped her hand over her mouth. Shaking her head as if truly experiencing every emotion possible. "There’s no way, Dad was too sick." Alyssa touched her hand to her stomach. "I'm not far along enough to know anything for sure. I mean I took a pee test and it did that weird thing that you see on the internet. You know, where it shows like five pink lines.” “Five?” “I bought a cheap-ass test,” Alyssa said with a laugh, wiping tears from her own eyes. “But if there was even a chance, I had to know, so I went to a doctor and turns out I’m eight weeks along, which coincides with the last and only time I made love to a man.” The pain in her voice was heartbreaking. “So, don't tell your mom." Alyssa took a seat, allowing the folds of her dress to caress her body. She rested her hand on her stomach, leaning forward as if trying to imagine what she would look like when further along. I hoped it was true. She deserved to be a mother. “Oh, it’s true,” said a familiar male voice. Jamie appeared at my side, looking smug as ever. “She's pregnant. You could be reborn as the child of your mentobest friend, live a life of happiness and peace.” "Or you could,” I replied, unable to break my gaze of Alyssa’s beauty. Jamie chuckled and shook his head. "You'd like that." "Don't tell me you haven't thought about it." As if on cue, little Gregg ran into the tent. My son was big for his age. But not too big for Cece to scoop him up in her arms. She twirled around, as her baby brother laughed. With his adorable smile, he couldn't have been older than three or four. He was so happy, so loved. I couldn’t help but smile. "You'd have two moms and an amazing sister.” Jamie went silent. But he was smiling, he had to know I was right. This was a world of love, a life he never experienced. "I'll give it some thought." "That's all I ask." Jamie nodded, beaming with a sweet sense of confidence. “Time to change the scene.” “What?” The wind picked up, caressing my face, as the colors of the scene to mix like a sand painting. As I wiped the colorful powder from my eyes, I was greeted to the most heartwarming sight. "Love is peaceful, love is kind, love is all you need," The music played as Cece walked Alyssa down the aisle. Marni stood at the altar with the priest. Gregg stood by her side, proudly. There were a few people in attendance. I recognized Marni's mother and Alyssa's grandma, the only living relatives either woman had. The rest were military, and hospital staff. Staring lovingly into each other's eyes, Marni pulled out a speech written on a card. "Alyssa, you have always been a rock, a miracle, and a friend to my family. Adam loved you so much, I had to admit I was jealous. You were everything I wasn't; strong, kind loyal. But as I got to know you, I realized, you were my other half. You were so welcoming, loving, and unbelievably gorgeous. My only regret was never having a threesome." The crowd laughed. Leo reappeared, wearing a sky-blue suit. “All they had to do was ask, right?” He smirked as he gave me a playful nudge. “Yeah, sure.” He wasn't wrong, but instead of humor, my heart was filled with pain. “I guess life is all about regrets.” Leo placed his hand upon mine, giving it a comforting squeeze. "Close your eyes, tell me what you see." “What I see?” I did as he asked but all I could see was darkness. “Honestly, not much.” "Then tell me, what do you feel?" "Nothing." The darkness actually made me feel pretty depressed. "Well, what do you want to see?" Leo asked in a calm, meditative voice. “What I want?” I tried to let my mind go free. I was dead, this was my eternity. But what did I want to see? I could feel the cool breeze of the ocean, the warmth of the sun. My mind drifted to the idea of being a bird. What would it be like to be a seagull, to disappear into the sky? I wouldn’t be gone, I would just be part of the blue; the air, the water, the world. It felt nice. When I opened my eyes, my family was releasing my ashes into the sky. I couldn’t help but smile. I felt a sense of peace. They were all crying, hugging, comforting each other. I could feel each person take a breath as they spoke words of kindness and gratitude. “He was such a good man,” said one voice. “A kind soul,” said another. “He will truly be missed.” All the voices fused into an intelligible mass of sound. This drew my attention to the fact that my family was not speaking; Cece, Marni, Alyssa and even little Greg stood frozen. I don't know how, but I started to cry as well. "I wish I could say a proper goodbye, just to let them know I'm alright." Leo shrugged. "Sure." “Sure? Are you fucking serious?” Leo was calm, cool, to an almost annoying degree. “Yeah, I am. Our reality, this universe is made up of a river of time; moments, memories, and events that will live on long after we’re gone.” The angel knelt down and scooped up a handful of sand playing with it between his fingers. He looked at the grains with curiosity, before reaching out his sand-covered hand. “You building a castle or something?” “Funny,” Leo replied, still in a meditative trance. “Hold my hand, I have an idea.” "You have an idea?" "Yes, Mr. Parrot,” he said in a mocking tone. “Are you seriously going to repeat everything I say?” “Fine, I’m sorry.” I threw up my hands in defeat before reaching for Leo. His hand felt warm, soft, with a hint of electric spiritual energy. Leo closed his eyes and smiled. “I'm not even sure if this will work, but it's something I always wanted to try.” "Just think of your friends and family, let those emotions manifest into a spirit animal.” “A spirit animal?" I had never felt more like a confused toddler. “You can’t tell me you don’t have a single animal-related memory.” I had no idea where he was going with this, so I concentrated on the one memory that would want to take to the grave; butterflies. “Cece was six or seven, I'd come home for maybe a weekend. I think I came from North Dakota, and I had to hop a plane to Korea or Japan, I can't even remember. All I knew was I broke that little girl's heart. We sat on the porch, just rocking her in my arms. I knew I loved her with all my heart, she was my reason for living.” And yet I still left. “I can still hear her voice, she said, 'Don't cry, daddy. I'll send the butterflies to you.'" “Sounds like a plan." Leo's hand vibrated with a warm, comforting static electricity, like the kind you feel when your leg goes numb. The particles of sand felt animated; squirming, growing, they were alive. I couldn’t help but open my eyes. My hand was filling with wiggly caterpillars that crept up my arm. In a matter of moments, the tiny blue caterpillars hardened into cocoons. It was a little strange to see the massive number of blue lumps on my arm. Still holding Leo’s hand, I lifted my arm. The cocoons burst like fireworks, transforming into butterflies which shot out of my sleeve like a cannon. The stunning sight filled me with a sense of hope, joy. It was a moment of pure happiness. The cherry on top was when I heard the cheering crowd. This was all real. Everyone could see this one final message. On instinct, I scanned the faces, searching for the one person I truly wanted to see one last time. Cece cupped her hands over her mouth, sobbing so hard she had to sit down. I approached her, placing my hand to her cheek. I moved my fingers to lift her face, but my spectral form passed through. “Sometimes you just have to be ok.” I raised my own head, looking into the bright light of the sun. And then I heard a sarcastic grunt from behind me. “Hey, Jamie.” Jamie grumbled. “Just because you accept something doesn't mean you're ok with it.” “Really?” I turned to see the teenager staring daggers at me. “Yeah, really.” Jamie walked to Cece's side, placing a hand upon her shoulder. Much to my dismay, his hand stayed in place. Cece reached up to him, closing her eyes as she caressed his skin. Could she feel him? That was more than a little unfair. Jamie sighed. “When I was alive, I knew I was destined to end up as a lost soul, a fucked-up loser, cursed to walk this earth for all eternity. But then I found Leo. For the brief time I knew him, he was my rock.” He shook his head. “I clung to the idea of love. Which is why I'll be ok.” I slapped Jamie in the back, a little more aggressively than I intended. “What are you saying?” I knew. Jamie had known happiness for such a short time, it was downright sad. Jamie turned, shooting me a death glare. "Oh, fuck off, Adam." “Same to you,” I said with a chuckle. It takes one to know one. “Whatever.” Jamie kissed Cece's forehead. “I’ll see you soon, big sister.” He vanished into the wind, leaving my daughter to sob even harder. “It’s ok, Ce-Cey,” said a small voice. Little Greg put his arms around Cece, hugging her waist. “I miss Daddy too.” Their words truly broke my heart. I’d never felt so joyful yet so alone. This was life, this was living. This was a world that no longer belonged to me. “Leo?” I asked the sky. “Where’d you go?” A gust of wind directed my focus to the nearby bluff. At least I thought it was close. Still barefoot, wearing a hospital gown, it took well over ten minutes of trekking over sharp rocks before I finally found myself by his side. “Enjoying the view?” Leo asked. “Don’t worry, as soon as your soul is free of this world, we’ll get you some real clothes.” "You know so much about me but I still feel like don't know you." "What do you want to know?” "About your life?" “I can barely remember my life," he said with a shrug. "But that's not a bad thing." “I don't understand. How could you be fine with forgetting the life that made you who you are?” “There’s a reason why most people can only remember their last moments before death,” Leo explained. “The pain you feel is your heart binding you to your fate. It’s the reason why certain spirits become ghosts, poltergeists, or worse. Eternity is a really long time to be facing the wrong direction.” “I guess.” I was afraid but I knew I had to trust him. But more than that, I needed to trust myself. I closed my eyes, letting the weight of the world wash over me. For a few seconds I felt nothing, like true death, then all around me I could hear the sound of joyous laughter. Dozens of voices seemed to fade away until there were just two. But who was laughing? “Ha-ha-ha, O-M-G, Marni, you’re so bad!” A rush of warmth caressed my skin. It was clear I was now somewhere indoors. I opened my eyes to see a hotel room. “What the?” Looking around, I could see it was a honeymoon suite decked out in the most seductive shades of red and pink. The door flung open, having been kicked by a single sparking white high heel. Watching Marni and Alyssa flirtatiously enter the hotel room was everything I thought it would be. Making their way to the bed, the beautiful women kissed as they undressed each other down to lingerie. Marni, the more aggressive of the two, wore a black bra and matching panties, while Alyssa wore a lacy white one-piece that made her truly look like a bride. The happy couple were all laughs until Marni reached for a nearby tray of candies and red wine. “I got us a special treat.” “I don't think I should,” Alyssa said with a coy smile. She wanted to tell her, I just knew it. "But you love Freakshow Cabernet." Marni puffed out her lip like a pouty child. " I want to get fucked up with you. I even ordered all of your favorite THC edibles; gummies, chocolates... " Marni popped a single red gummy into her mouth. Alyssa sat on the bed with her arms crossed over her stomach. She giggled nervously. "Are you cold, babe?" Marni asked, taking a drink from the wine bottle like a soda. She laughed and took a seat next to Alyssa, massaging her arms in a flirtatious manner. "I-I think I'm pregnant." Marni recoiled in a way that seemed a little out of character. She nodded and covered her mouth as tears streamed down her cheeks. "Did you take a test?" "Yeah," Alyssa giggled nervously. “Are you mad? I mean, you knew I slept with him.” Her words started to sputter. “I didn’t think…” "No, Aly I'm not upset." Marni forced a smile. "I could never give him a baby when he was alive, but now…" She wiped her eyes and shrugged. "I'm happy. Miracles happen, God works in mysterious ways and all that shit." Alyssa wiped tears from her own eyes. "I love you." “I love you too.” Marni put her arms around her wife, holding her close as they both cried. “I just miss him with all my heart.” The scene faded to black as if I was watching actors in a stage play. "What the?” I said with a noticeable pang of disappointment. "Don't tell me you wanted to see that," Jamie said, doubling over with laughter. “Wow, even in death you’re a fucking sicko.” More than I wanted to see you. "Where's Leo?" "This is between you and me,” Jamie replied. His tone was not aggressive, but rather confused. A light appeared in the distance it was the size of a coin, then a flashlight. "I'm not sure if I'm ready," Jamie said staring off into the void. "I mean, I know my life was pretty awful but the idea of letting go of everything; my consciousness, my personality..." his voice trailed off. "But, mainly you, Leo." I looked around, searching the darkness for Leo. If Jamie was addressing him, he had to be present, right? Jamie snickered. “And you too, brainless tinman I think I'll miss you most of all.” Leo stepped into view, looking as ethereal as ever. “Jamie, you should probably quit before God copyrights you straight to hell.” He patted Jamie’s shoulder. “Only kidding, Man.” I watched as the angels engaged in one last hug. “But seriously, both Adam and I will be with you every step of the way. Even if you don't remember us, in your new life, you'll see us as your guardian angels or at the very least, we'll be your imaginary friends." Jamie nodded as he wiped away tears. “I understand.” "Jamie," a female voice called from the light at the end of the tunnel. I couldn't tell if it was Alyssa or Marni. it could have even been Cece's voice. "I think it's time for you to go." I placed my hand upon Jamie's shoulder and looked to Leo. Leo nodded and placed his hand, causing the darkness to fill with all the colors of the rainbow. The layers of light came together to form a blinding white aura. I blinked my eyes and when I opened them, I saw a very pregnant Alyssa. She was laying on a cream-colored sofa with her head on Marni's lap. “I can't believe we're having a girl.” Marni only nodded. “It’s pretty magical.” Her voice trembled with emotion. “Do you think she’ll look like him?” “Like Adam? God, I hope not.” Alyssa held her hand, so they were both touching her third-trimester belly. “Jamie Felicity Severgine: that's the name I want. She’ll be her own person, live her own life, but she’ll always be the daughter of a hero.” The scene faded to black, so dark I couldn’t even see my limbs. “Leo?” Leo placed his unseen hand upon my shoulder. “Don’t worry, I’m here.” "Is Jamie gone?" "No,” Leo replied with a noticeable chuckle. “Why would you say that?" A rush of color washed over me like a rainbow tidal wave. The air was icy cold, then warm. Blinding lights flickered in red, white and yellow. Everything was blurry, then suddenly clear. This was followed by crying and screaming. What in the hell? The sounds were horrific, worse than any deployment warzone. I assumed this was what birth sounded like. But I couldn't have been more wrong. Walking through the sea of people, I found Alyssa on an operating table. I had never seen a c-section being performed but this seemed more like general surgery. Alyssa was unconscious, breathing with an oxygen mask. Below a sectioned off area, the team of doctors were cutting the baby out of her. The blood-covered fetus wasn't moving or even breathing. It was then I realized, Marni was the one screaming, crying, sobbing. A nurse was trying to console her but it was no use. Marni fell to her knees, in more pain than I had ever seen her in before. She truly loved Alyssa. "Where's my baby?" asked a soft, familiar voice. "Aly?" I turned to see my best friend standing at my side. She looked beautiful, glowing, with a massive gash in her stomach as if someone had cut the baby out of her body. But I knew this was not her body. This was her soul, trapped in limbo. "Adam?" She turned to me with sparkling tears in her eyes. "Adam, am I dead?" "I-I don't know." Her soft, gentle voice choked with tears. "I don't want to die, not now. Not like this!" My heart was truly breaking but I was not wise enough to know the right words to say. “What's going to happen is what's meant to happen. but no matter what I'll always be with you. You'll always be my sister, my soulmate." "Did you just call me your sister?" she said with a sweet laughed. "Maybe not the best thing to call the girl you knocked up." “Maybe.” Just as quickly her smile fell. "I'm sorry I failed you." "You didn't fail me.” Looking into her eyes, my heart was breaking. “You never failed me.” Was I meant to watch her die? How much more pain did my family have to endure? “I’m glad.” Alyssa’s hand touched mine. “I miss you so much.” I looked at the body on the table. “General Blake, you're too strong to die.” “General Blake?” The ghost said with a laugh. “I haven’t heard that in a while.” She placed her cold hand upon my back. “But you were always the one who was too strong to die.” "Can you say that with a straight face?" “Yeah, I can.” Alyssa reached out to touch my arms. “You took the weight of the world on your shoulders even when the strain was too much to bear. You soldiered on like a hero that you are." "And now you need to soldier on," I said with all the confidence I could muster, although neither of us was aware of the final verdict. Suddenly the baby cried. The little miracle containing the tormented teenage soul of an angsty teenager took her first breath. I took a closer look at what was my biological daughter. She had beautiful blue eyes the color of the midday sky. Alyssa’s spirit took a step towards the doctor holding the baby. She cupped her hands over her mouth, barely able to contain her emotions. "She looks so much like you, Adam." I chuckled as I put my arms around Alyssa’s now healed waist. "Don't insult the poor kid. She’s been through enough." Alyssa laughed, her spectral form glowing, a warm, sensual radiance. "You know, I really did love you." "I know you did." There was so much I wanted to say to Alyssa. I needed to thank her for every time she pulled my ass from the fire, going to bat for me like a protective older sister. For loving me when I felt unworthy of love. But she knew all that; it was why we could've never been a married couple. We could never have lived together or raised a family. And yet I would have given anything to spend an eternity in her arms. "That’s why I know you're going to be an amazing mother.” Alyssa smiled pursing her lips in deep thought. “I guess I could try.” She stroked her hand to my face. “Will you promise to send me butterflies?” “Always.” I put my arms around her, burying my face in her shoulder. I could feel her soft skin, bathe in the smell her freshly washed hair. She was human, alive; she had to go back. No matter how much it hurt, or how badly I wanted this moment to last forever. In another life she would have been mine. “Goodbye my love,” Alyssa said as she vanished from my arms. “Goodbye.” I looked up to see Leo holding Alyssa's hand, leading her back to her body. The lights flickered as Alyssa spectral form stepped back into her struggling body. She took a breath, one after another until her vitals returned to normal. When she was able to open her eyes, the doctor put the crying baby in her arms. I knew my purpose, what made me different. I was born to love you, protect you, watch over you. I will love you for every moment, with everything I am. this is who I was meant to be. I felt Leo’s hands stroking my back. Suddenly I didn’t feel cold. It felt like paper was growing over my skin. No, it wasn’t paper it was clothing. I felt the softness of a cotton flannel shirt, and denim jeans. “You look good,” Leo said with a chuckle. “Not that I would have minded having you naked for all eternity. Angels don’t feel hot or cold, we only feel.” Leo kissed my neck, sending a soothing shiver down my spine. “I love you too.” Leo leaned over the baby, letting her grab a lock of his hair. “She’s beautiful.” “And her future looks bright.” Leo nodded. "So, Adam, what if anything, have you learned?" "That's one hell of a question." “Do you have an answer?” Was he expecting an answer? “Do you?” Leo smiled his sweet, sexy smile as he looked out into the distance. "What did I learn? I learned that we need to roll with the punches, that drama exists beyond high school, the world isn't fair, but there are some people who make it worthwhile. But I’m not an immortal soul like you.” An immortal soul? I leaned back, resting my head on his shoulder. Leo had such a powerful, awe-inspiring sense of peace. “You’ll have to give me some pointers on what that all means.” "I will, until then, on to our next big adventure." “We’re leaving them?” I asked, with a noticeable sadness. “Your family will never be out of our sight.” Leo held up one finger and traced a circle in the air. “But there are others who need our aid.” He waved his arm, throwing what looked like a handful of confetti. The confetti pieces formed stars. Each of them was a portal; a place, a person, a story. “Wow.” I could feel the smile on my face. “So, where are we heading?” Leo only shrugged. “I don’t know, I’m just an angel: assignments are above my paygrade. I figure you know a little about that.” He waved his hand, conjuring a beat-up red pickup truck. It was the kind of vehicle that would never look out of place. “I feel like it needs a logo,” I said as I approached the very real, tangible, vehicle. “Two angels’ construction; when you break it, we can fix it.” It sounded dumb the moment the words left my lips. But the idea felt so right. “I was thinking of something more generic,” Leo said, as he put an arm around my shoulder. “Generic, but personal.” Using only his finger, Leo began to draw letters across the driver’s side door. “Warrior repair, we go where we’re needed.” “Sounds like a plan.” “Trust me, it’s not.” Leo chuckled. He kissed my cheek, then my neck. “How about this; I’ll put my faith in you and you put your faith in me?” “Put my faith in a longhaired savior? Yeah, I think I can wrap my head around that.” Every pulse has a purpose and I had finally found mine. it only took a couple hundred tries. |
2020.02.10 21:48 fractalfay As you two come together as one, that has never ever been before in the earth: Fan fiction recap of 90DF finale
Hullo! Some of you might be familiar with my wall of text from the main 90DF sub. For some reason my weekly pseudo-recap got deleted today, without explanation, and folks recommended that I try posting here. So without further ado:
My recaps often crash land in fan fiction; this one is going to orbit reality like a lost moon. Will we ever connect? I don’t know. Will we ever understand what 90DF cast members do all day that inhibits any type of advanced preparation for nuptials? I don’t know.
Mursel and Anna
What I wish happened: At the airport, homeland security needs to talk to Anna about exposing the airport to a dangerous contagion. She busts out her smart phone, opens a translator app and says, “You mean coronavirus? I have been not to one China.”
“No ma’am. We’ve had several reports that suggest you may have come down with Terminal Boring. Several 90DF producers were exposed to Boring, and their anti-vax beliefs left them vulnerable to the disease. Now they’re spreading Boring to others. We’re not sure you can be saved.” The agent tries to look sympathetic, but she’s concerned for herself, and is already starting to yawn.
Anna app’s: “B-b-but we faked this whole temporary return to Turkey! That’s got to count for something.”
The agent busts out a notepad. “So you admit that the bulk of your storyline was crying and staring at your phone? Viewers can get this on the average city bus during rush hour. We’re going to have to take you in, ma’am.”
“What about Mursel?”
“Mursel surrendered himself to authorities hours ago. He was already committing to a lifetime of light blue polo shirts and staring perplexed at the cover of US Weekly. It might be too late to save him. You should have come to us as soon as he started crying on the hotel room floor. Additionally, we’ve charged him with one count of evading logic, and two counts of sucking the air out of the room. Right this way, please. And give us your phone, ma’am….ma’am, surrender your phone…stop resisting! Stop resisting!”
What really happened: With 7 stupid hours left on her visa, Anna, who is almost as organized as Tania, is still sewing something. She loads the children who will still speak to her into the car to fetch Mursel from the airport, and the whole way there she makes a strong case against chewing gum. Gino, his mother’s child psychologist, explains that his mother is only happy when a man she can’t communicate with is hanging around the house. Leo suspects his growing ability to observe all this means he won’t be his mother’s favorite much longer, so she’ll have to have another kid. Joey left to go hang out with Molly’s daughter, and talk about spending the majority of their younger years propping up his mother emotionally.
They drive back to get ready for the wedding, and Mursel susses out the complexities of grooming all by himself. Gino and Leo walk Anna down the honeycomb aisle, and throw her at Mursel, who is standing under a doily. A vow exchange he doesn’t understand happens, and then there’s cake, and night photos in front of a wooden fence. Leo serves up a toast that definitely wasn’t written by Anna and definitely wasn’t heavily rehearsed, which you can tell by the passion behind the delivery.
Syngin and Fucking Tania What I wish happened: Syngin and Tania, still shitfaced from the night before, fall into a Chevy wearing dark glasses and stained t-shirts, each clutching a half-full bottle of Gatorade and a fistful of SlimJims. They both agree that once Syngin chugs that fucker his empty bottle will evolve into the “piss jug,” so they don’t have to hunt down bathrooms along the way, and can stop at Evelyn’s Awesome Apple Stand for 30 minutes of distracted procrastination instead. Suddenly, a meteor streaks through the sky. Tania insists it’s a comet, and when Syngin disagrees she reminds him he’s not her soulmate, and no one invited science to this party. Syngin can’t help but notice that it appears to be getting closer, and with science uninvited, he might be poised to hitch an anti-vaxer. Tania says she is not going to die in a Chevy, because that’s so white it could be a Bob Seger song.
It dawns on Syngin that this is his last chance to push Tania from the vehicle and floor it to the airport for a one-way ticket to Costa Rica for 30 days, where he will not call Tania drunk or sober, because his schedule will be packed with private salsa dances. Still, he’s not a bad guy, and he does love her, so he pulls over and says he just needs to use the piss jug real fast. The minute the door closes he puts down the bottle and runs like the meteor is chasing him, while Tania wraps herself in a purple shroud to wait for the maybe-comet to call her home, but not before yelling to Syngin’s dust trail that he needs to bring her black Nikes, because she has goals.
What actually happens: After careful consideration, Judge Tania generously rules that Syngin’s sadness over being declared a non-soulmate is valid, thus sparing him another 30 days of solitude in the Shed of Shame. She vampires down his palpable sadness, and her sated state allows the sleeves of her pink shirt to grow. In an effort to mask her glee at his misery, Tania mines her manipulation cave for treasures from their past, and reveals the bouncers defended the club against Tania like the riders of Rohan, and still she breached the wall. Syngin, look to the North for the coming light. At the end of their origin story Syngin is apparently willing to marry her again, or he really, really wants to be an opera singeactostunt man.
Syngin informs us that there hasn’t been a divorce in his family in 500 years, but he’s pretty sure he can break that curse. Neither has prepared any kind of wedding vows, and they arrive at the AirBnB venue a few hours late. There’s also no wedding photographer, so Syngin’s friend volunteers to take on this task. He considers that he could have brought a better camera if he’d received some advanced warning of this, but Tania is way too goal-oriented for such things. Tania reminds us yet again that she’s normally totally organized, and the last 90 days have just been one fluke after the other. They rapidly start constructing the ceremony space and crafting center pieces. Given the limited time, some brides might place a premium on showering and not making their guests wait, over lighting candles during daylight hours and placing rose petals to go with the other rose petals, but not our focused would-be mommy Tania. Finally she starts getting ready, and something happens to her head and face, and they wrap her body in black gauze for safety, and because she’s edgy like that. Not Hot Topic or music with feelings edgy, but that one time your mom smoked weed with you edgy. In other words, normal, but afraid.
The wedding happens, and the space does look beautiful. During the vows Syngin dramatically gets down on one knee and asks God to strike him dead. When that doesn’t happen, he unfurls his scroll of sweetness, while people in the audience cry that they’re letting this happen to Syngin. After he’s done, Tania manages to promise to answer the phone when he calls in the middle of a drunken night on the town, and to let her walls down. In other words, she’s still taking everything and giving nothing. #romance. The officiant works “shit” into his treatise, and expresses disbelief that this could have been a one-night stand and Syngin ruined it. Their rings are tattoos, like Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee, and they opt for the Sagittarius symbol, which I’m really hoping this is a shared sign and not Tania’s latest prison-tattoo brand on her bitch. Then they’re all happy, and Tania’s mom even musters some endorsement of their union, and when I can tone down my palpable inner hater, their wedding was kind of…nice.
Jasmin and Blake
What I wish happened: Jasmin puts on a giant cake dress with a skirt that creates three feet of distance from other people. She spins around the park holding a bottle of champagne in each hand, and when her sister tries to intervene she chucks a bottle at her and starts crying. Her mother runs up and starts shaking her, demanding she get her shit together because she did not raise a Finnish girl to act like an American. Jasmin knows mother is right, but can’t resist drawing a wider and wider red lipstick mouth round and round and round her cake hole. Meanwhile, Blake is busy checking in on the stock market. He knew that upfront investment in Tesla would be a wise move, and he’s two years away from early retirement. He puts on a slick wedding get up, and then both get into a Tesla, and drive right off my tv screen.
What really happens: Jasmin thought they were going to have a courthouse wedding. They have a park wedding instead. The main difference between these two things is about 20 people. Blake cries. Jasmin doesn’t. Vows are exchanged, and Jasmin’s parents hope they get to know each other eventually. Mother Blake hopes that Jasmin will get a job, and has questions about Jasmin’s current source of income. They think it will all be okay, so long as Blake is in charge of emotions and Jasmin serves as household accountant. Some photos happen. Jasmin’s parents hope she’ll hold on to her Finnish citizenship, so she has somewhere to flee to when the US goes full Handmaid’s Tale. Do you see how fast the Terminal Boring is spreading? Someone get this season on lockdown.
Robert and Anny
What I wish happened: Anny strolls down the aisle to greet Robert, who is a completely different person. Bryson waits patiently for their shocked, confused greeting to conclude, so he can kick off the ceremony with style. He signals the usher, who comes out with a piece of cardboard, and he’s immediately surrounded by a ring of men with Jheri curls, wearing half-shirts and dog collars and killer high-tops. it’s Breaking 2: Electric Wedding Goo. Guests fight with garbage can lids in the parking lot, making faces under savage eyeliner. Everyone is wearing Tania-pink off-the-shoulder shirts and sweatbands and one damn glove. Leotards are everywhere. Anny used to be a professional dancer, but who is she now? Where does she fit in with this motley crew? They’re never going to save the community center! But they have to!
What actually happens: Robert’s hair is wrangled into corn rows by a committed hair stylist who doesn’t get paid enough, and the entire wedding party dresses in tribute to the Temptations, and I kind of approve, because at least that red color is popping. Robert expresses concerns about this level of commitment, when he’s used to the lukewarm obligation of children. Anny gets ready, and her friend is there, and apparently decided it was a good idea to wear a wedding dress to someone else’s wedding. Anny gives no fucks and is just glad her Porn-In-Law was uninvited. Her hair is sculpted into a style we can’t even buy at wigs.com, and Bryson happily escorts her down the aisle.
The officiant kicks things off by saying (and I checked this three times in disbelief): “Today you become a creation as you two come together as one, that has never ever been before in the earth.” If I ever get married, I need this woman. Anyway, remember how last time 90DF teased that he was going to leave her at the altar? That was your warning the opposite was going to happen. He kicks off with the “I can’t do this” and just before Anny has a nervous breakdown he drops to one knee and produces a ring. Being utterly terrified is what everyone wants when they’re fully done up and standing in front of a room full of people. They’re happily hitched, and it’s actually kind of sweet, and Anny declares she’s going to have five kids to match the five he already has. Robert insists he doesn’t want to have an NBA team that he knows about.
Mike and Natalie
What I wish happened: The cameras show Mike slowly extracting his phone from his pocket, removing the SIM card, then donating it to a shelter. Then he grabs a disposable one at a 7-11, and stops by the barbershop and gets a haircut. Then Darcy pulls up and asks if they have a bathroom where she can shower and meet Jay for some contract negotiation. Spying Mike out of the corner of her eye, she says, “Oh MY GAWD are you my boyfriend now?” Mike wonders what the hell is happening, and explains to Darcy that Oregon is in the United States, so this will never work.
“When did it stop being in Canada? My children are my world. Tom is still my boyfriend anyway, and I think he might know it.” Darcy starts crying, and Tom salsas into the frame, with Tania dancing quickly behind him. He tries to run, but she only salsas faster. In desperation, he turns and confesses he’s not a very good teacher.
“Don’t talk to me softly like that,” Tania declares, before grabbing him by his fragile British hand and insisting that her steps are usually more organized than this, and screaming for her tattoo artists to ready for another brand.
What really happens: 90DF producers decided that one stare-at-your-phone storyline just wouldn’t do, so here is big Mike, sitting in his living room, talking his way around Natalie’s scorn. She mentions that some shit happened off-screen that made her not trust him, and the 90DF producers are reminded that they are never around when something interesting happens. When they ask Mike about his secret, he simply walks off camera. Anyone want to place bets that Mike has a criminal record that is standing in the way of this whole K1 business?
Angela and Michael
What I wish happened: Angela wakes up, and discovers that Michael has left a “treasure map” on the nightstand. Certain that this is evidence of another lie, Angela attempts to follow the map, and demands directions from a hapless shop owner who has made a fortune during her stay by selling her cigarettes. He points vaguely at a distant jungle, and Angela disappears into the trees, pulling at her ponytail and yelling “Michael” over and over again. Meanwhile, Michael realizes that as much as he loves Donald Trump, Donald Trump does not love him, so he decides to stick with Nigerian Prince schemes until the next president assumes office. He hears Angela screaming in the distance and notices his treasure map is gone, and as the screams grow quieter and quieter, Paul duck-runs out of the jungle wearing a belt of human hair and a condom hat, bleating for Karine.
What really happens: Michael can’t get the K1 because of all those Nigerian terrorists that stuff bombs into their shoes at the airport, so they think the spousal visa is the best route. They learn about what’s required for a Nigerian wedding, and Angela needs a witness from the US of A. She knows that no one in her circle can afford it, so she’s going to have to fly back to America alone.
“Tell me,” the would-be officiant says. “Why did they give you another season so soon? Nothing has happened.”
“Two words for you: free plane tickets to Nigeria,” Angela explains. “Now I gotta make like a pudding snack and corn hole to the airport for a Piggly Wiggly.”
At the airport Michael gives her a nameplate necklace with his name, and he wears one that says Angela, because wasn’t high school great you guys? No, it really wasn’t. Still, every couple that watches this shit together will be exchanging these on Valentine’s Day. It’s too late for me to get my dude to watch this, but it’s not too late to not make any sense.
Michael and Juliana and Sister-Wife Sarah.
What I wish happened: Sarah reveals that in order to find the time to study for a forthcoming test, she’s been popping caffeine pills, but then she oversleeps and misses dance rehearsal, thus blowing her big shopping mall break. Michael comes in and wakes her up, and asks her what’s going on with this sleeping nonsense, and she says she can do it, she can have it all, she can do anything. Then she starts screaming I’m SO EXCITED! I’M SO EXCITED! Is this a caffeine pill addiction? Did it really develop in 22 minutes of programming? Madness! Max bursts through the door and snatches the pills from his mother’s hand, screaming, “Dear God, no! NO! Nancy Reagan warned us about this!!” As he races for the toilet, CeCe blocks the doorway screaming, “You could go to prison! Or rehab! Or think you’re an orange and jump off the roof!” Sarah thrashes around on the ground, threatening everyone with shoes. Later she’s in bed wearing her favorite pajamas, knowing that she’ll be fully recovered from this terrifying descent into addiction in the next 22 minute episode. Whew. That was a close one.
What actually happens: Michael brings the kids back to Sarah’s house, and Michael takes the time to thank her for inserting herself into their wedding. Sarah harkens back to the lovely day she married Michael, and how it rained before and after, but it was beautiful on the day of the event. She’s fine. Really. Then Sarah asks Michael about the prenup. He awkwardly says he doesn’t need one anymore, now that he has this hat. Sarah understands how this demand might make Juliana feel unsupported. Because she’s very, very understanding, and understands things, and she’s fine. Really.
Next week promises to be the highlight of the season, as Robert questions Tania about her soulmate fake news, Michael is revealed to be Cheater McCheaterson, Big Mike’s Big Secret finally reaches the airwaves, and in news that shocks no one, Shaun is left speechless.
Thank you Patreon supporters! Find me there for more shenanigans.
submitted by fractalfay to 90dayfianceuncensored [link] [comments]
My recaps often crash land in fan fiction; this one is going to orbit reality like a lost moon. Will we ever connect? I don’t know. Will we ever understand what 90DF cast members do all day that inhibits any type of advanced preparation for nuptials? I don’t know.
Mursel and Anna
What I wish happened: At the airport, homeland security needs to talk to Anna about exposing the airport to a dangerous contagion. She busts out her smart phone, opens a translator app and says, “You mean coronavirus? I have been not to one China.”
“No ma’am. We’ve had several reports that suggest you may have come down with Terminal Boring. Several 90DF producers were exposed to Boring, and their anti-vax beliefs left them vulnerable to the disease. Now they’re spreading Boring to others. We’re not sure you can be saved.” The agent tries to look sympathetic, but she’s concerned for herself, and is already starting to yawn.
Anna app’s: “B-b-but we faked this whole temporary return to Turkey! That’s got to count for something.”
The agent busts out a notepad. “So you admit that the bulk of your storyline was crying and staring at your phone? Viewers can get this on the average city bus during rush hour. We’re going to have to take you in, ma’am.”
“What about Mursel?”
“Mursel surrendered himself to authorities hours ago. He was already committing to a lifetime of light blue polo shirts and staring perplexed at the cover of US Weekly. It might be too late to save him. You should have come to us as soon as he started crying on the hotel room floor. Additionally, we’ve charged him with one count of evading logic, and two counts of sucking the air out of the room. Right this way, please. And give us your phone, ma’am….ma’am, surrender your phone…stop resisting! Stop resisting!”
What really happened: With 7 stupid hours left on her visa, Anna, who is almost as organized as Tania, is still sewing something. She loads the children who will still speak to her into the car to fetch Mursel from the airport, and the whole way there she makes a strong case against chewing gum. Gino, his mother’s child psychologist, explains that his mother is only happy when a man she can’t communicate with is hanging around the house. Leo suspects his growing ability to observe all this means he won’t be his mother’s favorite much longer, so she’ll have to have another kid. Joey left to go hang out with Molly’s daughter, and talk about spending the majority of their younger years propping up his mother emotionally.
They drive back to get ready for the wedding, and Mursel susses out the complexities of grooming all by himself. Gino and Leo walk Anna down the honeycomb aisle, and throw her at Mursel, who is standing under a doily. A vow exchange he doesn’t understand happens, and then there’s cake, and night photos in front of a wooden fence. Leo serves up a toast that definitely wasn’t written by Anna and definitely wasn’t heavily rehearsed, which you can tell by the passion behind the delivery.
Syngin and Fucking Tania What I wish happened: Syngin and Tania, still shitfaced from the night before, fall into a Chevy wearing dark glasses and stained t-shirts, each clutching a half-full bottle of Gatorade and a fistful of SlimJims. They both agree that once Syngin chugs that fucker his empty bottle will evolve into the “piss jug,” so they don’t have to hunt down bathrooms along the way, and can stop at Evelyn’s Awesome Apple Stand for 30 minutes of distracted procrastination instead. Suddenly, a meteor streaks through the sky. Tania insists it’s a comet, and when Syngin disagrees she reminds him he’s not her soulmate, and no one invited science to this party. Syngin can’t help but notice that it appears to be getting closer, and with science uninvited, he might be poised to hitch an anti-vaxer. Tania says she is not going to die in a Chevy, because that’s so white it could be a Bob Seger song.
It dawns on Syngin that this is his last chance to push Tania from the vehicle and floor it to the airport for a one-way ticket to Costa Rica for 30 days, where he will not call Tania drunk or sober, because his schedule will be packed with private salsa dances. Still, he’s not a bad guy, and he does love her, so he pulls over and says he just needs to use the piss jug real fast. The minute the door closes he puts down the bottle and runs like the meteor is chasing him, while Tania wraps herself in a purple shroud to wait for the maybe-comet to call her home, but not before yelling to Syngin’s dust trail that he needs to bring her black Nikes, because she has goals.
What actually happens: After careful consideration, Judge Tania generously rules that Syngin’s sadness over being declared a non-soulmate is valid, thus sparing him another 30 days of solitude in the Shed of Shame. She vampires down his palpable sadness, and her sated state allows the sleeves of her pink shirt to grow. In an effort to mask her glee at his misery, Tania mines her manipulation cave for treasures from their past, and reveals the bouncers defended the club against Tania like the riders of Rohan, and still she breached the wall. Syngin, look to the North for the coming light. At the end of their origin story Syngin is apparently willing to marry her again, or he really, really wants to be an opera singeactostunt man.
Syngin informs us that there hasn’t been a divorce in his family in 500 years, but he’s pretty sure he can break that curse. Neither has prepared any kind of wedding vows, and they arrive at the AirBnB venue a few hours late. There’s also no wedding photographer, so Syngin’s friend volunteers to take on this task. He considers that he could have brought a better camera if he’d received some advanced warning of this, but Tania is way too goal-oriented for such things. Tania reminds us yet again that she’s normally totally organized, and the last 90 days have just been one fluke after the other. They rapidly start constructing the ceremony space and crafting center pieces. Given the limited time, some brides might place a premium on showering and not making their guests wait, over lighting candles during daylight hours and placing rose petals to go with the other rose petals, but not our focused would-be mommy Tania. Finally she starts getting ready, and something happens to her head and face, and they wrap her body in black gauze for safety, and because she’s edgy like that. Not Hot Topic or music with feelings edgy, but that one time your mom smoked weed with you edgy. In other words, normal, but afraid.
The wedding happens, and the space does look beautiful. During the vows Syngin dramatically gets down on one knee and asks God to strike him dead. When that doesn’t happen, he unfurls his scroll of sweetness, while people in the audience cry that they’re letting this happen to Syngin. After he’s done, Tania manages to promise to answer the phone when he calls in the middle of a drunken night on the town, and to let her walls down. In other words, she’s still taking everything and giving nothing. #romance. The officiant works “shit” into his treatise, and expresses disbelief that this could have been a one-night stand and Syngin ruined it. Their rings are tattoos, like Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee, and they opt for the Sagittarius symbol, which I’m really hoping this is a shared sign and not Tania’s latest prison-tattoo brand on her bitch. Then they’re all happy, and Tania’s mom even musters some endorsement of their union, and when I can tone down my palpable inner hater, their wedding was kind of…nice.
Jasmin and Blake
What I wish happened: Jasmin puts on a giant cake dress with a skirt that creates three feet of distance from other people. She spins around the park holding a bottle of champagne in each hand, and when her sister tries to intervene she chucks a bottle at her and starts crying. Her mother runs up and starts shaking her, demanding she get her shit together because she did not raise a Finnish girl to act like an American. Jasmin knows mother is right, but can’t resist drawing a wider and wider red lipstick mouth round and round and round her cake hole. Meanwhile, Blake is busy checking in on the stock market. He knew that upfront investment in Tesla would be a wise move, and he’s two years away from early retirement. He puts on a slick wedding get up, and then both get into a Tesla, and drive right off my tv screen.
What really happens: Jasmin thought they were going to have a courthouse wedding. They have a park wedding instead. The main difference between these two things is about 20 people. Blake cries. Jasmin doesn’t. Vows are exchanged, and Jasmin’s parents hope they get to know each other eventually. Mother Blake hopes that Jasmin will get a job, and has questions about Jasmin’s current source of income. They think it will all be okay, so long as Blake is in charge of emotions and Jasmin serves as household accountant. Some photos happen. Jasmin’s parents hope she’ll hold on to her Finnish citizenship, so she has somewhere to flee to when the US goes full Handmaid’s Tale. Do you see how fast the Terminal Boring is spreading? Someone get this season on lockdown.
Robert and Anny
What I wish happened: Anny strolls down the aisle to greet Robert, who is a completely different person. Bryson waits patiently for their shocked, confused greeting to conclude, so he can kick off the ceremony with style. He signals the usher, who comes out with a piece of cardboard, and he’s immediately surrounded by a ring of men with Jheri curls, wearing half-shirts and dog collars and killer high-tops. it’s Breaking 2: Electric Wedding Goo. Guests fight with garbage can lids in the parking lot, making faces under savage eyeliner. Everyone is wearing Tania-pink off-the-shoulder shirts and sweatbands and one damn glove. Leotards are everywhere. Anny used to be a professional dancer, but who is she now? Where does she fit in with this motley crew? They’re never going to save the community center! But they have to!
What actually happens: Robert’s hair is wrangled into corn rows by a committed hair stylist who doesn’t get paid enough, and the entire wedding party dresses in tribute to the Temptations, and I kind of approve, because at least that red color is popping. Robert expresses concerns about this level of commitment, when he’s used to the lukewarm obligation of children. Anny gets ready, and her friend is there, and apparently decided it was a good idea to wear a wedding dress to someone else’s wedding. Anny gives no fucks and is just glad her Porn-In-Law was uninvited. Her hair is sculpted into a style we can’t even buy at wigs.com, and Bryson happily escorts her down the aisle.
The officiant kicks things off by saying (and I checked this three times in disbelief): “Today you become a creation as you two come together as one, that has never ever been before in the earth.” If I ever get married, I need this woman. Anyway, remember how last time 90DF teased that he was going to leave her at the altar? That was your warning the opposite was going to happen. He kicks off with the “I can’t do this” and just before Anny has a nervous breakdown he drops to one knee and produces a ring. Being utterly terrified is what everyone wants when they’re fully done up and standing in front of a room full of people. They’re happily hitched, and it’s actually kind of sweet, and Anny declares she’s going to have five kids to match the five he already has. Robert insists he doesn’t want to have an NBA team that he knows about.
Mike and Natalie
What I wish happened: The cameras show Mike slowly extracting his phone from his pocket, removing the SIM card, then donating it to a shelter. Then he grabs a disposable one at a 7-11, and stops by the barbershop and gets a haircut. Then Darcy pulls up and asks if they have a bathroom where she can shower and meet Jay for some contract negotiation. Spying Mike out of the corner of her eye, she says, “Oh MY GAWD are you my boyfriend now?” Mike wonders what the hell is happening, and explains to Darcy that Oregon is in the United States, so this will never work.
“When did it stop being in Canada? My children are my world. Tom is still my boyfriend anyway, and I think he might know it.” Darcy starts crying, and Tom salsas into the frame, with Tania dancing quickly behind him. He tries to run, but she only salsas faster. In desperation, he turns and confesses he’s not a very good teacher.
“Don’t talk to me softly like that,” Tania declares, before grabbing him by his fragile British hand and insisting that her steps are usually more organized than this, and screaming for her tattoo artists to ready for another brand.
What really happens: 90DF producers decided that one stare-at-your-phone storyline just wouldn’t do, so here is big Mike, sitting in his living room, talking his way around Natalie’s scorn. She mentions that some shit happened off-screen that made her not trust him, and the 90DF producers are reminded that they are never around when something interesting happens. When they ask Mike about his secret, he simply walks off camera. Anyone want to place bets that Mike has a criminal record that is standing in the way of this whole K1 business?
Angela and Michael
What I wish happened: Angela wakes up, and discovers that Michael has left a “treasure map” on the nightstand. Certain that this is evidence of another lie, Angela attempts to follow the map, and demands directions from a hapless shop owner who has made a fortune during her stay by selling her cigarettes. He points vaguely at a distant jungle, and Angela disappears into the trees, pulling at her ponytail and yelling “Michael” over and over again. Meanwhile, Michael realizes that as much as he loves Donald Trump, Donald Trump does not love him, so he decides to stick with Nigerian Prince schemes until the next president assumes office. He hears Angela screaming in the distance and notices his treasure map is gone, and as the screams grow quieter and quieter, Paul duck-runs out of the jungle wearing a belt of human hair and a condom hat, bleating for Karine.
What really happens: Michael can’t get the K1 because of all those Nigerian terrorists that stuff bombs into their shoes at the airport, so they think the spousal visa is the best route. They learn about what’s required for a Nigerian wedding, and Angela needs a witness from the US of A. She knows that no one in her circle can afford it, so she’s going to have to fly back to America alone.
“Tell me,” the would-be officiant says. “Why did they give you another season so soon? Nothing has happened.”
“Two words for you: free plane tickets to Nigeria,” Angela explains. “Now I gotta make like a pudding snack and corn hole to the airport for a Piggly Wiggly.”
At the airport Michael gives her a nameplate necklace with his name, and he wears one that says Angela, because wasn’t high school great you guys? No, it really wasn’t. Still, every couple that watches this shit together will be exchanging these on Valentine’s Day. It’s too late for me to get my dude to watch this, but it’s not too late to not make any sense.
Michael and Juliana and Sister-Wife Sarah.
What I wish happened: Sarah reveals that in order to find the time to study for a forthcoming test, she’s been popping caffeine pills, but then she oversleeps and misses dance rehearsal, thus blowing her big shopping mall break. Michael comes in and wakes her up, and asks her what’s going on with this sleeping nonsense, and she says she can do it, she can have it all, she can do anything. Then she starts screaming I’m SO EXCITED! I’M SO EXCITED! Is this a caffeine pill addiction? Did it really develop in 22 minutes of programming? Madness! Max bursts through the door and snatches the pills from his mother’s hand, screaming, “Dear God, no! NO! Nancy Reagan warned us about this!!” As he races for the toilet, CeCe blocks the doorway screaming, “You could go to prison! Or rehab! Or think you’re an orange and jump off the roof!” Sarah thrashes around on the ground, threatening everyone with shoes. Later she’s in bed wearing her favorite pajamas, knowing that she’ll be fully recovered from this terrifying descent into addiction in the next 22 minute episode. Whew. That was a close one.
What actually happens: Michael brings the kids back to Sarah’s house, and Michael takes the time to thank her for inserting herself into their wedding. Sarah harkens back to the lovely day she married Michael, and how it rained before and after, but it was beautiful on the day of the event. She’s fine. Really. Then Sarah asks Michael about the prenup. He awkwardly says he doesn’t need one anymore, now that he has this hat. Sarah understands how this demand might make Juliana feel unsupported. Because she’s very, very understanding, and understands things, and she’s fine. Really.
Next week promises to be the highlight of the season, as Robert questions Tania about her soulmate fake news, Michael is revealed to be Cheater McCheaterson, Big Mike’s Big Secret finally reaches the airwaves, and in news that shocks no one, Shaun is left speechless.
Thank you Patreon supporters! Find me there for more shenanigans.
2020.02.10 20:53 fractalfay Today you become a creation as you two come together as one, that has never ever been before in the earth: Finale Recap!
My recaps often crash land in fan fiction; this one is going to orbit reality like a lost moon. Will we ever connect? I don’t know. Will we ever understand what 90DF cast members do all day that inhibits any type of advanced preparation for nuptials? I don’t know.
Mursel and Anna
What I wish happened: At the airport, homeland security needs to talk to Anna about exposing the airport to a dangerous contagion. She busts out her smart phone, opens a translator app and says, “You mean coronavirus? I have been not to one China.”
“No ma’am. We’ve had several reports that suggest you may have come down with Terminal Boring. Several 90DF producers were exposed to Boring, and their anti-vax beliefs left them vulnerable to the disease. Now they’re spreading Boring to others. We’re not sure you can be saved.” The agent tries to look sympathetic, but she’s concerned for herself, and is already starting to yawn.
Anna app’s: “B-b-but we faked this whole temporary return to Turkey! That’s got to count for something.”
The agent busts out a notepad. “So you admit that the bulk of your storyline was crying and staring at your phone? Viewers can get this on the average city bus during rush hour. We’re going to have to take you in, ma’am.”
“What about Mursel?”
“Mursel surrendered himself to authorities hours ago. He was already committing to a lifetime of light blue polo shirts and staring perplexed at the cover of US Weekly. It might be too late to save him. You should have come to us as soon as he started crying on the hotel room floor. Additionally, we’ve charged him with one count of evading logic, and two counts of sucking the air out of the room. Right this way, please. And give us your phone, ma’am….ma’am, surrender your phone…stop resisting! Stop resisting!”
What really happened: With 7 stupid hours left on her visa, Anna, who is almost as organized as Tania, is still sewing something. She loads the children who will still speak to her into the car to fetch Mursel from the airport, and the whole way there she makes a strong case against chewing gum. Gino, his mother’s child psychologist, explains that his mother is only happy when a man she can’t communicate with is hanging around the house. Leo suspects his growing ability to observe all this means he won’t be his mother’s favorite much longer, so she’ll have to have another kid. Joey left to go hang out with Molly’s daughter, and talk about spending the majority of their younger years propping up his mother emotionally.
They drive back to get ready for the wedding, and Mursel susses out the complexities of grooming all by himself. Gino and Leo walk Anna down the honeycomb aisle, and throw her at Mursel, who is standing under a doily. A vow exchange he doesn’t understand happens, and then there’s cake, and night photos in front of a wooden fence. Leo serves up a toast that definitely wasn’t written by Anna and definitely wasn’t heavily rehearsed, which you can tell by the passion behind the delivery.
Syngin and Fucking Tania What I wish happened: Syngin and Tania, still shitfaced from the night before, fall into a Chevy wearing dark glasses and stained t-shirts, each clutching a half-full bottle of Gatorade and a fistful of SlimJims. They both agree that once Syngin chugs that fucker his empty bottle will evolve into the “piss jug,” so they don’t have to hunt down bathrooms along the way, and can stop at Evelyn’s Awesome Apple Stand for 30 minutes of distracted procrastination instead. Suddenly, a meteor streaks through the sky. Tania insists it’s a comet, and when Syngin disagrees she reminds him he’s not her soulmate, and no one invited science to this party. Syngin can’t help but notice that it appears to be getting closer, and with science uninvited, he might be poised to hitch an anti-vaxer. Tania says she is not going to die in a Chevy, because that’s so white it could be a Bob Seger song.
It dawns on Syngin that this is his last chance to push Tania from the vehicle and floor it to the airport for a one-way ticket to Costa Rica for 30 days, where he will not call Tania drunk or sober, because his schedule will be packed with private salsa dances. Still, he’s not a bad guy, and he does love her, so he pulls over and says he just needs to use the piss jug real fast. The minute the door closes he puts down the bottle and runs like the meteor is chasing him, while Tania wraps herself in a purple shroud to wait for the maybe-comet to call her home, but not before yelling to Syngin’s dust trail that he needs to bring her black Nikes, because she has goals.
What actually happens: After careful consideration, Judge Tania generously rules that Syngin’s sadness over being declared a non-soulmate is valid, thus sparing him another 30 days of solitude in the Shed of Shame. She vampires down his palpable sadness, and her sated state allows the sleeves of her pink shirt to grow. In an effort to mask her glee at his misery, Tania mines her manipulation cave for treasures from their past, and reveals the bouncers defended the club against Tania like the riders of Rohan, and still she breached the wall. Syngin, look to the North for the coming light. At the end of their origin story Syngin is apparently willing to marry her again, or he really, really wants to be an opera singeactostunt man.
Syngin informs us that there hasn’t been a divorce in his family in 500 years, but he’s pretty sure he can break that curse. Neither has prepared any kind of wedding vows, and they arrive at the AirBnB venue a few hours late. There’s also no wedding photographer, so Syngin’s friend volunteers to take on this task. He considers that he could have brought a better camera if he’d received some advanced warning of this, but Tania is way too goal-oriented for such things. Tania reminds us yet again that she’s normally totally organized, and the last 90 days have just been one fluke after the other. They rapidly start constructing the ceremony space and crafting center pieces. Given the limited time, some brides might place a premium on showering and not making their guests wait, over lighting candles during daylight hours and placing rose petals to go with the other rose petals, but not our focused would-be mommy Tania. Finally she starts getting ready, and something happens to her head and face, and they wrap her body in black gauze for safety, and because she’s edgy like that. Not Hot Topic or music with feelings edgy, but that one time your mom smoked weed with you edgy. In other words, normal, but afraid.
The wedding happens, and the space does look beautiful. During the vows Syngin dramatically gets down on one knee and asks God to strike him dead. When that doesn’t happen, he unfurls his scroll of sweetness, while people in the audience cry that they’re letting this happen to Syngin. After he’s done, Tania manages to promise to answer the phone when he calls in the middle of a drunken night on the town, and to let her walls down. In other words, she’s still taking everything and giving nothing. #romance. The officiant works “shit” into his treatise, and expresses disbelief that this could have been a one-night stand and Syngin ruined it. Their rings are tattoos, like Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee, and they opt for the Sagittarius symbol, which I’m really hoping this is a shared sign and not Tania’s latest prison-tattoo brand on her bitch. Then they’re all happy, and Tania’s mom even musters some endorsement of their union, and when I can tone down my palpable inner hater, their wedding was kind of…nice.
Jasmin and Blake
What I wish happened: Jasmin puts on a giant cake dress with a skirt that creates three feet of distance from other people. She spins around the park holding a bottle of champagne in each hand, and when her sister tries to intervene she chucks a bottle at her and starts crying. Her mother runs up and starts shaking her, demanding she get her shit together because she did not raise a Finnish girl to act like an American. Jasmin knows mother is right, but can’t resist drawing a wider and wider red lipstick mouth round and round and round her cake hole. Meanwhile, Blake is busy checking in on the stock market. He knew that upfront investment in Tesla would be a wise move, and he’s two years away from early retirement. He puts on a slick wedding get up, and then both get into a Tesla, and drive right off my tv screen.
What really happens: Jasmin thought they were going to have a courthouse wedding. They have a park wedding instead. The main difference between these two things is about 20 people. Blake cries. Jasmin doesn’t. Vows are exchanged, and Jasmin’s parents hope they get to know each other eventually. Mother Blake hopes that Jasmin will get a job, and has questions about Jasmin’s current source of income. They think it will all be okay, so long as Blake is in charge of emotions and Jasmin serves as household accountant. Some photos happen. Jasmin’s parents hope she’ll hold on to her Finnish citizenship, so she has somewhere to flee to when the US goes full Handmaid’s Tale. Do you see how fast the Terminal Boring is spreading? Someone get this season on lockdown.
Robert and Anny
What I wish happened: Anny strolls down the aisle to greet Robert, who is a completely different person. Bryson waits patiently for their shocked, confused greeting to conclude, so he can kick off the ceremony with style. He signals the usher, who comes out with a piece of cardboard, and he’s immediately surrounded by a ring of men with Jheri curls, wearing half-shirts and dog collars and killer high-tops. it’s Breaking 2: Electric Wedding Goo. Guests fight with garbage can lids in the parking lot, making faces under savage eyeliner. Everyone is wearing Tania-pink off-the-shoulder shirts and sweatbands and one damn glove. Leotards are everywhere. Anny used to be a professional dancer, but who is she now? Where does she fit in with this motley crew? They’re never going to save the community center! But they have to!
What actually happens: Robert’s hair is wrangled into corn rows by a committed hair stylist who doesn’t get paid enough, and the entire wedding party dresses in tribute to the Temptations, and I kind of approve, because at least that red color is popping. Robert expresses concerns about this level of commitment, when he’s used to the lukewarm obligation of children. Anny gets ready, and her friend is there, and apparently decided it was a good idea to wear a wedding dress to someone else’s wedding. Anny gives no fucks and is just glad her Porn-In-Law was uninvited. Her hair is sculpted into a style we can’t even buy at wigs.com, and Bryson happily escorts her down the aisle.
The officiant kicks things off by saying (and I checked this three times in disbelief): “Today you become a creation as you two come together as one, that has never ever been before in the earth.” If I ever get married, I need this woman. Anyway, remember how last time 90DF teased that he was going to leave her at the altar? That was your warning the opposite was going to happen. He kicks off with the “I can’t do this” and just before Anny has a nervous breakdown he drops to one knee and produces a ring. Being utterly terrified is what everyone wants when they’re fully done up and standing in front of a room full of people. They’re happily hitched, and it’s actually kind of sweet, and Anny declares she’s going to have five kids to match the five he already has. Robert insists he doesn’t want to have an NBA team that he knows about.
Mike and Natalie
What I wish happened: The cameras show Mike slowly extracting his phone from his pocket, removing the SIM card, then donating it to a shelter. Then he grabs a disposable one at a 7-11, and stops by the barbershop and gets a haircut. Then Darcy pulls up and asks if they have a bathroom where she can shower and meet Jay for some contract negotiation. Spying Mike out of the corner of her eye, she says, “Oh MY GAWD are you my boyfriend now?” Mike wonders what the hell is happening, and explains to Darcy that Oregon is in the United States, so this will never work.
“When did it stop being in Canada? My children are my world. Tom is still my boyfriend anyway, and I think he might know it.” Darcy starts crying, and Tom salsas into the frame, with Tania dancing quickly behind him. He tries to run, but she only salsas faster. In desperation, he turns and confesses he’s not a very good teacher.
“Don’t talk to me softly like that,” Tania declares, before grabbing him by his fragile British hand and insisting that her steps are usually more organized than this, and screaming for her tattoo artists to ready for another brand.
What really happens: 90DF producers decided that one stare-at-your-phone storyline just wouldn’t do, so here is big Mike, sitting in his living room, talking his way around Natalie’s scorn. She mentions that some shit happened off-screen that made her not trust him, and the 90DF producers are reminded that they are never around when something interesting happens. When they ask Mike about his secret, he simply walks off camera. Anyone want to place bets that Mike has a criminal record that is standing in the way of this whole K1 business?
Angela and Michael
What I wish happened: Angela wakes up, and discovers that Michael has left a “treasure map” on the nightstand. Certain that this is evidence of another lie, Angela attempts to follow the map, and demands directions from a hapless shop owner who has made a fortune during her stay by selling her cigarettes. He points vaguely at a distant jungle, and Angela disappears into the trees, pulling at her ponytail and yelling “Michael” over and over again. Meanwhile, Michael realizes that as much as he loves Donald Trump, Donald Trump does not love him, so he decides to stick with Nigerian Prince schemes until the next president assumes office. He hears Angela screaming in the distance and notices his treasure map is gone, and as the screams grow quieter and quieter, Paul duck-runs out of the jungle wearing a belt of human hair and a condom hat, bleating for Karine.
What really happens: Michael can’t get the K1 because of all those Nigerian terrorists that stuff bombs into their shoes at the airport, so they think the spousal visa is the best route. They learn about what’s required for a Nigerian wedding, and Angela needs a witness from the US of A. She knows that no one in her circle can afford it, so she’s going to have to fly back to America alone.
“Tell me,” the would-be officiant says. “Why did they give you another season so soon? Nothing has happened.”
“Two words for you: free plane tickets to Nigeria,” Angela explains. “Now I gotta make like a pudding snack and corn hole to the airport for a Piggly Wiggly.”
At the airport Michael gives her a nameplate necklace with his name, and he wears one that says Angela, because wasn’t high school great you guys? No, it really wasn’t. Still, every couple that watches this shit together will be exchanging these on Valentine’s Day. It’s too late for me to get my dude to watch this, but it’s not too late to not make any sense.
Michael and Juliana and Sister-Wife Sarah.
What I wish happened: Sarah reveals that in order to find the time to study for a forthcoming test, she’s been popping caffeine pills, but then she oversleeps and misses dance rehearsal, thus blowing her big shopping mall break. Michael comes in and wakes her up, and asks her what’s going on with this sleeping nonsense, and she says she can do it, she can have it all, she can do anything. Then she starts screaming I’m SO EXCITED! I’M SO EXCITED! Is this a caffeine pill addiction? Did it really develop in 22 minutes of programming? Madness! Max bursts through the door and snatches the pills from his mother’s hand, screaming, “Dear God, no! NO! Nancy Reagan warned us about this!!” As he races for the toilet, CeCe blocks the doorway screaming, “You could go to prison! Or rehab! Or think you’re an orange and jump off the roof!” Sarah thrashes around on the ground, threatening everyone with shoes. Later she’s in bed wearing her favorite pajamas, knowing that she’ll be fully recovered from this terrifying descent into addiction in the next 22 minute episode. Whew. That was a close one.
What actually happens: Michael brings the kids back to Sarah’s house, and Michael takes the time to thank her for inserting herself into their wedding. Sarah harkens back to the lovely day she married Michael, and how it rained before and after, but it was beautiful on the day of the event. She’s fine. Really. Then Sarah asks Michael about the prenup. He awkwardly says he doesn’t need one anymore, now that he has this hat. Sarah understands how this demand might make Juliana feel unsupported. Because she’s very, very understanding, and understands things, and she’s fine. Really.
Next week promises to be the highlight of the season, as Robert questions Tania about her soulmate fake news, Michael is revealed to be Cheater McCheaterson, Big Mike’s Big Secret finally reaches the airwaves, and in news that shocks no one, Shaun is left speechless.
Thank you Patreon supporters! Find me there for more shenanigans.
submitted by fractalfay to 90DayFiance [link] [comments]
Mursel and Anna
What I wish happened: At the airport, homeland security needs to talk to Anna about exposing the airport to a dangerous contagion. She busts out her smart phone, opens a translator app and says, “You mean coronavirus? I have been not to one China.”
“No ma’am. We’ve had several reports that suggest you may have come down with Terminal Boring. Several 90DF producers were exposed to Boring, and their anti-vax beliefs left them vulnerable to the disease. Now they’re spreading Boring to others. We’re not sure you can be saved.” The agent tries to look sympathetic, but she’s concerned for herself, and is already starting to yawn.
Anna app’s: “B-b-but we faked this whole temporary return to Turkey! That’s got to count for something.”
The agent busts out a notepad. “So you admit that the bulk of your storyline was crying and staring at your phone? Viewers can get this on the average city bus during rush hour. We’re going to have to take you in, ma’am.”
“What about Mursel?”
“Mursel surrendered himself to authorities hours ago. He was already committing to a lifetime of light blue polo shirts and staring perplexed at the cover of US Weekly. It might be too late to save him. You should have come to us as soon as he started crying on the hotel room floor. Additionally, we’ve charged him with one count of evading logic, and two counts of sucking the air out of the room. Right this way, please. And give us your phone, ma’am….ma’am, surrender your phone…stop resisting! Stop resisting!”
What really happened: With 7 stupid hours left on her visa, Anna, who is almost as organized as Tania, is still sewing something. She loads the children who will still speak to her into the car to fetch Mursel from the airport, and the whole way there she makes a strong case against chewing gum. Gino, his mother’s child psychologist, explains that his mother is only happy when a man she can’t communicate with is hanging around the house. Leo suspects his growing ability to observe all this means he won’t be his mother’s favorite much longer, so she’ll have to have another kid. Joey left to go hang out with Molly’s daughter, and talk about spending the majority of their younger years propping up his mother emotionally.
They drive back to get ready for the wedding, and Mursel susses out the complexities of grooming all by himself. Gino and Leo walk Anna down the honeycomb aisle, and throw her at Mursel, who is standing under a doily. A vow exchange he doesn’t understand happens, and then there’s cake, and night photos in front of a wooden fence. Leo serves up a toast that definitely wasn’t written by Anna and definitely wasn’t heavily rehearsed, which you can tell by the passion behind the delivery.
Syngin and Fucking Tania What I wish happened: Syngin and Tania, still shitfaced from the night before, fall into a Chevy wearing dark glasses and stained t-shirts, each clutching a half-full bottle of Gatorade and a fistful of SlimJims. They both agree that once Syngin chugs that fucker his empty bottle will evolve into the “piss jug,” so they don’t have to hunt down bathrooms along the way, and can stop at Evelyn’s Awesome Apple Stand for 30 minutes of distracted procrastination instead. Suddenly, a meteor streaks through the sky. Tania insists it’s a comet, and when Syngin disagrees she reminds him he’s not her soulmate, and no one invited science to this party. Syngin can’t help but notice that it appears to be getting closer, and with science uninvited, he might be poised to hitch an anti-vaxer. Tania says she is not going to die in a Chevy, because that’s so white it could be a Bob Seger song.
It dawns on Syngin that this is his last chance to push Tania from the vehicle and floor it to the airport for a one-way ticket to Costa Rica for 30 days, where he will not call Tania drunk or sober, because his schedule will be packed with private salsa dances. Still, he’s not a bad guy, and he does love her, so he pulls over and says he just needs to use the piss jug real fast. The minute the door closes he puts down the bottle and runs like the meteor is chasing him, while Tania wraps herself in a purple shroud to wait for the maybe-comet to call her home, but not before yelling to Syngin’s dust trail that he needs to bring her black Nikes, because she has goals.
What actually happens: After careful consideration, Judge Tania generously rules that Syngin’s sadness over being declared a non-soulmate is valid, thus sparing him another 30 days of solitude in the Shed of Shame. She vampires down his palpable sadness, and her sated state allows the sleeves of her pink shirt to grow. In an effort to mask her glee at his misery, Tania mines her manipulation cave for treasures from their past, and reveals the bouncers defended the club against Tania like the riders of Rohan, and still she breached the wall. Syngin, look to the North for the coming light. At the end of their origin story Syngin is apparently willing to marry her again, or he really, really wants to be an opera singeactostunt man.
Syngin informs us that there hasn’t been a divorce in his family in 500 years, but he’s pretty sure he can break that curse. Neither has prepared any kind of wedding vows, and they arrive at the AirBnB venue a few hours late. There’s also no wedding photographer, so Syngin’s friend volunteers to take on this task. He considers that he could have brought a better camera if he’d received some advanced warning of this, but Tania is way too goal-oriented for such things. Tania reminds us yet again that she’s normally totally organized, and the last 90 days have just been one fluke after the other. They rapidly start constructing the ceremony space and crafting center pieces. Given the limited time, some brides might place a premium on showering and not making their guests wait, over lighting candles during daylight hours and placing rose petals to go with the other rose petals, but not our focused would-be mommy Tania. Finally she starts getting ready, and something happens to her head and face, and they wrap her body in black gauze for safety, and because she’s edgy like that. Not Hot Topic or music with feelings edgy, but that one time your mom smoked weed with you edgy. In other words, normal, but afraid.
The wedding happens, and the space does look beautiful. During the vows Syngin dramatically gets down on one knee and asks God to strike him dead. When that doesn’t happen, he unfurls his scroll of sweetness, while people in the audience cry that they’re letting this happen to Syngin. After he’s done, Tania manages to promise to answer the phone when he calls in the middle of a drunken night on the town, and to let her walls down. In other words, she’s still taking everything and giving nothing. #romance. The officiant works “shit” into his treatise, and expresses disbelief that this could have been a one-night stand and Syngin ruined it. Their rings are tattoos, like Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee, and they opt for the Sagittarius symbol, which I’m really hoping this is a shared sign and not Tania’s latest prison-tattoo brand on her bitch. Then they’re all happy, and Tania’s mom even musters some endorsement of their union, and when I can tone down my palpable inner hater, their wedding was kind of…nice.
Jasmin and Blake
What I wish happened: Jasmin puts on a giant cake dress with a skirt that creates three feet of distance from other people. She spins around the park holding a bottle of champagne in each hand, and when her sister tries to intervene she chucks a bottle at her and starts crying. Her mother runs up and starts shaking her, demanding she get her shit together because she did not raise a Finnish girl to act like an American. Jasmin knows mother is right, but can’t resist drawing a wider and wider red lipstick mouth round and round and round her cake hole. Meanwhile, Blake is busy checking in on the stock market. He knew that upfront investment in Tesla would be a wise move, and he’s two years away from early retirement. He puts on a slick wedding get up, and then both get into a Tesla, and drive right off my tv screen.
What really happens: Jasmin thought they were going to have a courthouse wedding. They have a park wedding instead. The main difference between these two things is about 20 people. Blake cries. Jasmin doesn’t. Vows are exchanged, and Jasmin’s parents hope they get to know each other eventually. Mother Blake hopes that Jasmin will get a job, and has questions about Jasmin’s current source of income. They think it will all be okay, so long as Blake is in charge of emotions and Jasmin serves as household accountant. Some photos happen. Jasmin’s parents hope she’ll hold on to her Finnish citizenship, so she has somewhere to flee to when the US goes full Handmaid’s Tale. Do you see how fast the Terminal Boring is spreading? Someone get this season on lockdown.
Robert and Anny
What I wish happened: Anny strolls down the aisle to greet Robert, who is a completely different person. Bryson waits patiently for their shocked, confused greeting to conclude, so he can kick off the ceremony with style. He signals the usher, who comes out with a piece of cardboard, and he’s immediately surrounded by a ring of men with Jheri curls, wearing half-shirts and dog collars and killer high-tops. it’s Breaking 2: Electric Wedding Goo. Guests fight with garbage can lids in the parking lot, making faces under savage eyeliner. Everyone is wearing Tania-pink off-the-shoulder shirts and sweatbands and one damn glove. Leotards are everywhere. Anny used to be a professional dancer, but who is she now? Where does she fit in with this motley crew? They’re never going to save the community center! But they have to!
What actually happens: Robert’s hair is wrangled into corn rows by a committed hair stylist who doesn’t get paid enough, and the entire wedding party dresses in tribute to the Temptations, and I kind of approve, because at least that red color is popping. Robert expresses concerns about this level of commitment, when he’s used to the lukewarm obligation of children. Anny gets ready, and her friend is there, and apparently decided it was a good idea to wear a wedding dress to someone else’s wedding. Anny gives no fucks and is just glad her Porn-In-Law was uninvited. Her hair is sculpted into a style we can’t even buy at wigs.com, and Bryson happily escorts her down the aisle.
The officiant kicks things off by saying (and I checked this three times in disbelief): “Today you become a creation as you two come together as one, that has never ever been before in the earth.” If I ever get married, I need this woman. Anyway, remember how last time 90DF teased that he was going to leave her at the altar? That was your warning the opposite was going to happen. He kicks off with the “I can’t do this” and just before Anny has a nervous breakdown he drops to one knee and produces a ring. Being utterly terrified is what everyone wants when they’re fully done up and standing in front of a room full of people. They’re happily hitched, and it’s actually kind of sweet, and Anny declares she’s going to have five kids to match the five he already has. Robert insists he doesn’t want to have an NBA team that he knows about.
Mike and Natalie
What I wish happened: The cameras show Mike slowly extracting his phone from his pocket, removing the SIM card, then donating it to a shelter. Then he grabs a disposable one at a 7-11, and stops by the barbershop and gets a haircut. Then Darcy pulls up and asks if they have a bathroom where she can shower and meet Jay for some contract negotiation. Spying Mike out of the corner of her eye, she says, “Oh MY GAWD are you my boyfriend now?” Mike wonders what the hell is happening, and explains to Darcy that Oregon is in the United States, so this will never work.
“When did it stop being in Canada? My children are my world. Tom is still my boyfriend anyway, and I think he might know it.” Darcy starts crying, and Tom salsas into the frame, with Tania dancing quickly behind him. He tries to run, but she only salsas faster. In desperation, he turns and confesses he’s not a very good teacher.
“Don’t talk to me softly like that,” Tania declares, before grabbing him by his fragile British hand and insisting that her steps are usually more organized than this, and screaming for her tattoo artists to ready for another brand.
What really happens: 90DF producers decided that one stare-at-your-phone storyline just wouldn’t do, so here is big Mike, sitting in his living room, talking his way around Natalie’s scorn. She mentions that some shit happened off-screen that made her not trust him, and the 90DF producers are reminded that they are never around when something interesting happens. When they ask Mike about his secret, he simply walks off camera. Anyone want to place bets that Mike has a criminal record that is standing in the way of this whole K1 business?
Angela and Michael
What I wish happened: Angela wakes up, and discovers that Michael has left a “treasure map” on the nightstand. Certain that this is evidence of another lie, Angela attempts to follow the map, and demands directions from a hapless shop owner who has made a fortune during her stay by selling her cigarettes. He points vaguely at a distant jungle, and Angela disappears into the trees, pulling at her ponytail and yelling “Michael” over and over again. Meanwhile, Michael realizes that as much as he loves Donald Trump, Donald Trump does not love him, so he decides to stick with Nigerian Prince schemes until the next president assumes office. He hears Angela screaming in the distance and notices his treasure map is gone, and as the screams grow quieter and quieter, Paul duck-runs out of the jungle wearing a belt of human hair and a condom hat, bleating for Karine.
What really happens: Michael can’t get the K1 because of all those Nigerian terrorists that stuff bombs into their shoes at the airport, so they think the spousal visa is the best route. They learn about what’s required for a Nigerian wedding, and Angela needs a witness from the US of A. She knows that no one in her circle can afford it, so she’s going to have to fly back to America alone.
“Tell me,” the would-be officiant says. “Why did they give you another season so soon? Nothing has happened.”
“Two words for you: free plane tickets to Nigeria,” Angela explains. “Now I gotta make like a pudding snack and corn hole to the airport for a Piggly Wiggly.”
At the airport Michael gives her a nameplate necklace with his name, and he wears one that says Angela, because wasn’t high school great you guys? No, it really wasn’t. Still, every couple that watches this shit together will be exchanging these on Valentine’s Day. It’s too late for me to get my dude to watch this, but it’s not too late to not make any sense.
Michael and Juliana and Sister-Wife Sarah.
What I wish happened: Sarah reveals that in order to find the time to study for a forthcoming test, she’s been popping caffeine pills, but then she oversleeps and misses dance rehearsal, thus blowing her big shopping mall break. Michael comes in and wakes her up, and asks her what’s going on with this sleeping nonsense, and she says she can do it, she can have it all, she can do anything. Then she starts screaming I’m SO EXCITED! I’M SO EXCITED! Is this a caffeine pill addiction? Did it really develop in 22 minutes of programming? Madness! Max bursts through the door and snatches the pills from his mother’s hand, screaming, “Dear God, no! NO! Nancy Reagan warned us about this!!” As he races for the toilet, CeCe blocks the doorway screaming, “You could go to prison! Or rehab! Or think you’re an orange and jump off the roof!” Sarah thrashes around on the ground, threatening everyone with shoes. Later she’s in bed wearing her favorite pajamas, knowing that she’ll be fully recovered from this terrifying descent into addiction in the next 22 minute episode. Whew. That was a close one.
What actually happens: Michael brings the kids back to Sarah’s house, and Michael takes the time to thank her for inserting herself into their wedding. Sarah harkens back to the lovely day she married Michael, and how it rained before and after, but it was beautiful on the day of the event. She’s fine. Really. Then Sarah asks Michael about the prenup. He awkwardly says he doesn’t need one anymore, now that he has this hat. Sarah understands how this demand might make Juliana feel unsupported. Because she’s very, very understanding, and understands things, and she’s fine. Really.
Next week promises to be the highlight of the season, as Robert questions Tania about her soulmate fake news, Michael is revealed to be Cheater McCheaterson, Big Mike’s Big Secret finally reaches the airwaves, and in news that shocks no one, Shaun is left speechless.
Thank you Patreon supporters! Find me there for more shenanigans.
2020.02.10 20:31 fractalfay Today you become a creation as you two come together as one, that has never ever been before in the earth: Recap of 90DF finale!
My recaps often crash land in fan fiction; this one is going to orbit reality like a lost moon. Will we ever connect? I don’t know. Will we ever understand what 90DF cast members do all day that inhibits any type of advanced preparation for nuptials? I don’t know.
Mursel and Anna
What I wish happened: At the airport, homeland security needs to talk to Anna about exposing the airport to a dangerous contagion. She busts out her smart phone, opens a translator app and says, “You mean coronavirus? I have been not to one China.”
“No ma’am. We’ve had several reports that suggest you may have come down with Terminal Boring. Several 90DF producers were exposed to Boring, and their anti-vax beliefs left them vulnerable to the disease. Now they’re spreading Boring to others. We’re not sure you can be saved.” The agent tries to look sympathetic, but she’s concerned for herself, and is already starting to yawn.
Anna app’s: “B-b-but we faked this whole temporary return to Turkey! That’s got to count for something.”
The agent busts out a notepad. “So you admit that the bulk of your storyline was crying and staring at your phone? Viewers can get this on the average city bus during rush hour. We’re going to have to take you in, ma’am.”
“What about Mursel?”
“Mursel surrendered himself to authorities hours ago. He was already committing to a lifetime of light blue polo shirts and staring perplexed at the cover of US Weekly. It might be too late to save him. You should have come to us as soon as he started crying on the hotel room floor. Additionally, we’ve charged him with one count of evading logic, and two counts of sucking the air out of the room. Right this way, please. And give us your phone, ma’am….ma’am, surrender your phone…stop resisting! Stop resisting!”
What really happened: With 7 stupid hours left on her visa, Anna, who is almost as organized as Tania, is still sewing something. She loads the children who will still speak to her into the car to fetch Mursel from the airport, and the whole way there she makes a strong case against chewing gum. Gino, his mother’s child psychologist, explains that his mother is only happy when a man she can’t communicate with is hanging around the house. Leo suspects his growing ability to observe all this means he won’t be his mother’s favorite much longer, so she’ll have to have another kid. Joey left to go hang out with Molly’s daughter, and talk about spending the majority of their younger years propping up his mother emotionally.
They drive back to get ready for the wedding, and Mursel susses out the complexities of grooming all by himself. Gino and Leo walk Anna down the honeycomb aisle, and throw her at Mursel, who is standing under a doily. A vow exchange he doesn’t understand happens, and then there’s cake, and night photos in front of a wooden fence. Leo serves up a toast that definitely wasn’t written by Anna and definitely wasn’t heavily rehearsed, which you can tell by the passion behind the delivery.
Syngin and Fucking Tania
What I wish happened: Syngin and Tania, still shitfaced from the night before, fall into a Chevy wearing dark glasses and stained t-shirts, each clutching a half-full bottle of Gatorade and a fistful of SlimJims. They both agree that once Syngin chugs that fucker his empty bottle will evolve into the “piss jug,” so they don’t have to hunt down bathrooms along the way, and can stop at Evelyn’s Awesome Apple Stand for 30 minutes of distracted procrastination instead. Suddenly, a meteor streaks through the sky. Tania insists it’s a comet, and when Syngin disagrees she reminds him he’s not her soulmate, and no one invited science to this party. Syngin can’t help but notice that it appears to be getting closer, and with science uninvited, he might be poised to hitch an anti-vaxer. Tania says she is not going to die in a Chevy, because that’s so white it could be a Bob Seger song.
It dawns on Syngin that this is his last chance to push Tania from the vehicle and floor it to the airport for a one-way ticket to Costa Rica for 30 days, where he will not call Tania drunk or sober, because his schedule will be packed with private salsa dances. Still, he’s not a bad guy, and he does love her, so he pulls over and says he just needs to use the piss jug real fast. The minute the door closes he puts down the bottle and runs like the meteor is chasing him, while Tania wraps herself in a purple shroud to wait for the maybe-comet to call her home, but not before yelling to Syngin’s dust trail that he needs to bring her black Nikes, because she has goals.
What actually happens: After careful consideration, Judge Tania generously rules that Syngin’s sadness over being declared a non-soulmate is valid, thus sparing him another 30 days of solitude in the Shed of Shame. She vampires down his palpable sadness, and her sated state allows the sleeves of her pink shirt to grow. In an effort to mask her glee at his misery, Tania mines her manipulation cave for treasures from their past, and reveals the bouncers defended the club against Tania like the riders of Rohan, and still she breached the wall. Syngin, look to the North for the coming light. At the end of their origin story Syngin is apparently willing to marry her again, or he really, really wants to be an opera singeactostunt man.
Syngin informs us that there hasn’t been a divorce in his family in 500 years, but he’s pretty sure he can break that curse. Neither has prepared any kind of wedding vows, and they arrive at the AirBnB venue a few hours late. There’s also no wedding photographer, so Syngin’s friend volunteers to take on this task. He considers that he could have brought a better camera if he’d received some advanced warning of this, but Tania is way too goal-oriented for such things. Tania reminds us yet again that she’s normally totally organized, and the last 90 days have just been one fluke after the other. They rapidly start constructing the ceremony space and crafting center pieces. Given the limited time, some brides might place a premium on showering and not making their guests wait, over lighting candles during daylight hours and placing rose petals to go with the other rose petals, but not our focused would-be mommy Tania. Finally she starts getting ready, and something happens to her head and face, and they wrap her body in black gauze for safety, and because she’s edgy like that. Not Hot Topic or music with feelings edgy, but that one time your mom smoked weed with you edgy. In other words, normal, but afraid.
The wedding happens, and the space does look beautiful. During the vows Syngin dramatically gets down on one knee and asks God to strike him dead. When that doesn’t happen, he unfurls his scroll of sweetness, while people in the audience cry that they’re letting this happen to Syngin. After he’s done, Tania manages to promise to answer the phone when he calls in the middle of a drunken night on the town, and to let her walls down. In other words, she’s still taking everything and giving nothing. #romance. The officiant works “shit” into his treatise, and expresses disbelief that this could have been a one-night stand and Syngin ruined it. Their rings are tattoos, like Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee, and they opt for the Sagittarius symbol, which I’m really hoping this is a shared sign and not Tania’s latest prison-tattoo brand on her bitch. Then they’re all happy, and Tania’s mom even musters some endorsement of their union, and when I can tone down my palpable inner hater, their wedding was kind of…nice.
Jasmin and Blake
What I wish happened: Jasmin puts on a giant cake dress with a skirt that creates three feet of distance from other people. She spins around the park holding a bottle of champagne in each hand, and when her sister tries to intervene she chucks a bottle at her and starts crying. Her mother runs up and starts shaking her, demanding she get her shit together because she did not raise a Finnish girl to act like an American. Jasmin knows mother is right, but can’t resist drawing a wider and wider red lipstick mouth round and round and round her cake hole. Meanwhile, Blake is busy checking in on the stock market. He knew that upfront investment in Tesla would be a wise move, and he’s two years away from early retirement. He puts on a slick wedding get up, and then both get into a Tesla, and drive right off my tv screen.
What really happens: Jasmin thought they were going to have a courthouse wedding. They have a park wedding instead. The main difference between these two things is about 20 people. Blake cries. Jasmin doesn’t. Vows are exchanged, and Jasmin’s parents hope they get to know each other eventually. Mother Blake hopes that Jasmin will get a job, and has questions about Jasmin’s current source of income. They think it will all be okay, so long as Blake is in charge of emotions and Jasmin serves as household accountant. Some photos happen. Jasmin’s parents hope she’ll hold on to her Finnish citizenship, so she has somewhere to flee to when the US goes full Handmaid’s Tale. Do you see how fast the Terminal Boring is spreading? Someone get this season on lockdown.
Robert and Anny
What I wish happened: Anny strolls down the aisle to greet Robert, who is a completely different person. Bryson waits patiently for their shocked, confused greeting to conclude, so he can kick off the ceremony with style. He signals the usher, who comes out with a piece of cardboard, and he’s immediately surrounded by a ring of men with Jheri curls, wearing half-shirts and dog collars and killer high-tops. it’s Breaking 2: Electric Wedding Goo. Guests fight with garbage can lids in the parking lot, making faces under savage eyeliner. Everyone is wearing Tania-pink off-the-shoulder shirts and sweatbands and one damn glove. Leotards are everywhere. Anny used to be a professional dancer, but who is she now? Where does she fit in with this motley crew? They’re never going to save the community center! But they have to!
What actually happens: Robert’s hair is wrangled into corn rows by a committed hair stylist who doesn’t get paid enough, and the entire wedding party dresses in tribute to the Temptations, and I kind of approve, because at least that red color is popping. Robert expresses concerns about this level of commitment, when he’s used to the lukewarm obligation of children. Anny gets ready, and her friend is there, and apparently decided it was a good idea to wear a wedding dress to someone else’s wedding. Anny gives no fucks and is just glad her Porn-In-Law was uninvited. Her hair is sculpted into a style we can’t even buy at wigs.com, and Bryson happily escorts her down the aisle.
The officiant kicks things off by saying (and I checked this three times in disbelief): “Today you become a creation as you two come together as one, that has never ever been before in the earth.” If I ever get married, I need this woman. Anyway, remember how last time 90DF teased that he was going to leave her at the altar? That was your warning the opposite was going to happen. He kicks off with the “I can’t do this” and just before Anny has a nervous breakdown he drops to one knee and produces a ring. Being utterly terrified is what everyone wants when they’re fully done up and standing in front of a room full of people. They’re happily hitched, and it’s actually kind of sweet, and Anny declares she’s going to have five kids to match the five he already has. Robert insists he doesn’t want to have an NBA team that he knows about.
Mike and Natalie
What I wish happened: The cameras show Mike slowly extracting his phone from his pocket, removing the SIM card, then donating it to a shelter. Then he grabs a disposable one at a 7-11, and stops by the barbershop and gets a haircut. Then Darcy pulls up and asks if they have a bathroom where she can shower and meet Jay for some contract negotiation. Spying Mike out of the corner of her eye, she says, “Oh MY GAWD are you my boyfriend now?” Mike wonders what the hell is happening, and explains to Darcy that Oregon is in the United States, so this will never work.
“When did it stop being in Canada? My children are my world. Tom is still my boyfriend anyway, and I think he might know it.” Darcy starts crying, and Tom salsas into the frame, with Tania dancing quickly behind him. He tries to run, but she only salsas faster. In desperation, he turns and confesses he’s not a very good teacher.
“Don’t talk to me softly like that,” Tania declares, before grabbing him by his fragile British hand and insisting that her steps are usually more organized than this, and screaming for her tattoo artists to ready for another brand.
What really happens: 90DF producers decided that one stare-at-your-phone storyline just wouldn’t do, so here is big Mike, sitting in his living room, talking his way around Natalie’s scorn. She mentions that some shit happened off-screen that made her not trust him, and the 90DF producers are reminded that they are never around when something interesting happens. When they ask Mike about his secret, he simply walks off camera. Anyone want to place bets that Mike has a criminal record that is standing in the way of this whole K1 business?
Angela and Michael
What I wish happened: Angela wakes up, and discovers that Michael has left a “treasure map” on the nightstand. Certain that this is evidence of another lie, Angela attempts to follow the map, and demands directions from a hapless shop owner who has made a fortune during her stay by selling her cigarettes. He points vaguely at a distant jungle, and Angela disappears into the trees, pulling at her ponytail and yelling “Michael” over and over again. Meanwhile, Michael realizes that as much as he loves Donald Trump, Donald Trump does not love him, so he decides to stick with Nigerian Prince schemes until the next president assumes office. He hears Angela screaming in the distance and notices his treasure map is gone, and as the screams grow quieter and quieter, Paul duck-runs out of the jungle wearing a belt of human hair and a condom hat, bleating for Karine.
What really happens: Michael can’t get the K1 because of all those Nigerian terrorists that stuff bombs into their shoes at the airport, so they think the spousal visa is the best route. They learn about what’s required for a Nigerian wedding, and Angela needs a witness from the US of A. She knows that no one in her circle can afford it, so she’s going to have to fly back to America alone.
“Tell me,” the would-be officiant says. “Why did they give you another season so soon? Nothing has happened.”
“Two words for you: free plane tickets to Nigeria,” Angela explains. “Now I gotta make like a pudding snack and corn hole to the airport for a Piggly Wiggly.”
At the airport Michael gives her a nameplate necklace with his name, and he wears one that says Angela, because wasn’t high school great you guys? No, it really wasn’t. Still, every couple that watches this shit together will be exchanging these on Valentine’s Day. It’s too late for me to get my dude to watch this, but it’s not too late to not make any sense.
Michael and Juliana and Sister-Wife Sarah.
What I wish happened: Sarah reveals that in order to find the time to study for a forthcoming test, she’s been popping caffeine pills, but then she oversleeps and misses dance rehearsal, thus blowing her big shopping mall break. Michael comes in and wakes her up, and asks her what’s going on with this sleeping nonsense, and she says she can do it, she can have it all, she can do anything. Then she starts screaming I’m SO EXCITED! I’M SO EXCITED! Is this a caffeine pill addiction? Did it really develop in 22 minutes of programming? Madness! Max bursts through the door and snatches the pills from his mother’s hand, screaming, “Dear God, no! NO! Nancy Reagan warned us about this!!” As he races for the toilet, CeCe blocks the doorway screaming, “You could go to prison! Or rehab! Or think you’re an orange and jump off the roof!” Sarah thrashes around on the ground, threatening everyone with shoes. Later she’s in bed wearing her favorite pajamas, knowing that she’ll be fully recovered from this terrifying descent into addiction in the next 22 minute episode. Whew. That was a close one.
What actually happens: Michael brings the kids back to Sarah’s house, and Michael takes the time to thank her for inserting herself into their wedding. Sarah harkens back to the lovely day she married Michael, and how it rained before and after, but it was beautiful on the day of the event. She’s fine. Really. Then Sarah asks Michael about the prenup. He awkwardly says he doesn’t need one anymore, now that he has this hat. Sarah understands how this demand might make Juliana feel unsupported. Because she’s very, very understanding, and understands things, and she’s fine. Really.
Next week promises to be the highlight of the season, as Robert questions Tania about her soulmate fake news, Michael is revealed to be Cheater McCheaterson, Big Mike’s Big Secret finally reaches the airwaves, and in news that shocks no one, Shaun is left speechless.
Thank you Patreon supporters! Find me there for more shenanigans.
submitted by fractalfay to 90DayFiance [link] [comments]
Mursel and Anna
What I wish happened: At the airport, homeland security needs to talk to Anna about exposing the airport to a dangerous contagion. She busts out her smart phone, opens a translator app and says, “You mean coronavirus? I have been not to one China.”
“No ma’am. We’ve had several reports that suggest you may have come down with Terminal Boring. Several 90DF producers were exposed to Boring, and their anti-vax beliefs left them vulnerable to the disease. Now they’re spreading Boring to others. We’re not sure you can be saved.” The agent tries to look sympathetic, but she’s concerned for herself, and is already starting to yawn.
Anna app’s: “B-b-but we faked this whole temporary return to Turkey! That’s got to count for something.”
The agent busts out a notepad. “So you admit that the bulk of your storyline was crying and staring at your phone? Viewers can get this on the average city bus during rush hour. We’re going to have to take you in, ma’am.”
“What about Mursel?”
“Mursel surrendered himself to authorities hours ago. He was already committing to a lifetime of light blue polo shirts and staring perplexed at the cover of US Weekly. It might be too late to save him. You should have come to us as soon as he started crying on the hotel room floor. Additionally, we’ve charged him with one count of evading logic, and two counts of sucking the air out of the room. Right this way, please. And give us your phone, ma’am….ma’am, surrender your phone…stop resisting! Stop resisting!”
What really happened: With 7 stupid hours left on her visa, Anna, who is almost as organized as Tania, is still sewing something. She loads the children who will still speak to her into the car to fetch Mursel from the airport, and the whole way there she makes a strong case against chewing gum. Gino, his mother’s child psychologist, explains that his mother is only happy when a man she can’t communicate with is hanging around the house. Leo suspects his growing ability to observe all this means he won’t be his mother’s favorite much longer, so she’ll have to have another kid. Joey left to go hang out with Molly’s daughter, and talk about spending the majority of their younger years propping up his mother emotionally.
They drive back to get ready for the wedding, and Mursel susses out the complexities of grooming all by himself. Gino and Leo walk Anna down the honeycomb aisle, and throw her at Mursel, who is standing under a doily. A vow exchange he doesn’t understand happens, and then there’s cake, and night photos in front of a wooden fence. Leo serves up a toast that definitely wasn’t written by Anna and definitely wasn’t heavily rehearsed, which you can tell by the passion behind the delivery.
Syngin and Fucking Tania
What I wish happened: Syngin and Tania, still shitfaced from the night before, fall into a Chevy wearing dark glasses and stained t-shirts, each clutching a half-full bottle of Gatorade and a fistful of SlimJims. They both agree that once Syngin chugs that fucker his empty bottle will evolve into the “piss jug,” so they don’t have to hunt down bathrooms along the way, and can stop at Evelyn’s Awesome Apple Stand for 30 minutes of distracted procrastination instead. Suddenly, a meteor streaks through the sky. Tania insists it’s a comet, and when Syngin disagrees she reminds him he’s not her soulmate, and no one invited science to this party. Syngin can’t help but notice that it appears to be getting closer, and with science uninvited, he might be poised to hitch an anti-vaxer. Tania says she is not going to die in a Chevy, because that’s so white it could be a Bob Seger song.
It dawns on Syngin that this is his last chance to push Tania from the vehicle and floor it to the airport for a one-way ticket to Costa Rica for 30 days, where he will not call Tania drunk or sober, because his schedule will be packed with private salsa dances. Still, he’s not a bad guy, and he does love her, so he pulls over and says he just needs to use the piss jug real fast. The minute the door closes he puts down the bottle and runs like the meteor is chasing him, while Tania wraps herself in a purple shroud to wait for the maybe-comet to call her home, but not before yelling to Syngin’s dust trail that he needs to bring her black Nikes, because she has goals.
What actually happens: After careful consideration, Judge Tania generously rules that Syngin’s sadness over being declared a non-soulmate is valid, thus sparing him another 30 days of solitude in the Shed of Shame. She vampires down his palpable sadness, and her sated state allows the sleeves of her pink shirt to grow. In an effort to mask her glee at his misery, Tania mines her manipulation cave for treasures from their past, and reveals the bouncers defended the club against Tania like the riders of Rohan, and still she breached the wall. Syngin, look to the North for the coming light. At the end of their origin story Syngin is apparently willing to marry her again, or he really, really wants to be an opera singeactostunt man.
Syngin informs us that there hasn’t been a divorce in his family in 500 years, but he’s pretty sure he can break that curse. Neither has prepared any kind of wedding vows, and they arrive at the AirBnB venue a few hours late. There’s also no wedding photographer, so Syngin’s friend volunteers to take on this task. He considers that he could have brought a better camera if he’d received some advanced warning of this, but Tania is way too goal-oriented for such things. Tania reminds us yet again that she’s normally totally organized, and the last 90 days have just been one fluke after the other. They rapidly start constructing the ceremony space and crafting center pieces. Given the limited time, some brides might place a premium on showering and not making their guests wait, over lighting candles during daylight hours and placing rose petals to go with the other rose petals, but not our focused would-be mommy Tania. Finally she starts getting ready, and something happens to her head and face, and they wrap her body in black gauze for safety, and because she’s edgy like that. Not Hot Topic or music with feelings edgy, but that one time your mom smoked weed with you edgy. In other words, normal, but afraid.
The wedding happens, and the space does look beautiful. During the vows Syngin dramatically gets down on one knee and asks God to strike him dead. When that doesn’t happen, he unfurls his scroll of sweetness, while people in the audience cry that they’re letting this happen to Syngin. After he’s done, Tania manages to promise to answer the phone when he calls in the middle of a drunken night on the town, and to let her walls down. In other words, she’s still taking everything and giving nothing. #romance. The officiant works “shit” into his treatise, and expresses disbelief that this could have been a one-night stand and Syngin ruined it. Their rings are tattoos, like Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee, and they opt for the Sagittarius symbol, which I’m really hoping this is a shared sign and not Tania’s latest prison-tattoo brand on her bitch. Then they’re all happy, and Tania’s mom even musters some endorsement of their union, and when I can tone down my palpable inner hater, their wedding was kind of…nice.
Jasmin and Blake
What I wish happened: Jasmin puts on a giant cake dress with a skirt that creates three feet of distance from other people. She spins around the park holding a bottle of champagne in each hand, and when her sister tries to intervene she chucks a bottle at her and starts crying. Her mother runs up and starts shaking her, demanding she get her shit together because she did not raise a Finnish girl to act like an American. Jasmin knows mother is right, but can’t resist drawing a wider and wider red lipstick mouth round and round and round her cake hole. Meanwhile, Blake is busy checking in on the stock market. He knew that upfront investment in Tesla would be a wise move, and he’s two years away from early retirement. He puts on a slick wedding get up, and then both get into a Tesla, and drive right off my tv screen.
What really happens: Jasmin thought they were going to have a courthouse wedding. They have a park wedding instead. The main difference between these two things is about 20 people. Blake cries. Jasmin doesn’t. Vows are exchanged, and Jasmin’s parents hope they get to know each other eventually. Mother Blake hopes that Jasmin will get a job, and has questions about Jasmin’s current source of income. They think it will all be okay, so long as Blake is in charge of emotions and Jasmin serves as household accountant. Some photos happen. Jasmin’s parents hope she’ll hold on to her Finnish citizenship, so she has somewhere to flee to when the US goes full Handmaid’s Tale. Do you see how fast the Terminal Boring is spreading? Someone get this season on lockdown.
Robert and Anny
What I wish happened: Anny strolls down the aisle to greet Robert, who is a completely different person. Bryson waits patiently for their shocked, confused greeting to conclude, so he can kick off the ceremony with style. He signals the usher, who comes out with a piece of cardboard, and he’s immediately surrounded by a ring of men with Jheri curls, wearing half-shirts and dog collars and killer high-tops. it’s Breaking 2: Electric Wedding Goo. Guests fight with garbage can lids in the parking lot, making faces under savage eyeliner. Everyone is wearing Tania-pink off-the-shoulder shirts and sweatbands and one damn glove. Leotards are everywhere. Anny used to be a professional dancer, but who is she now? Where does she fit in with this motley crew? They’re never going to save the community center! But they have to!
What actually happens: Robert’s hair is wrangled into corn rows by a committed hair stylist who doesn’t get paid enough, and the entire wedding party dresses in tribute to the Temptations, and I kind of approve, because at least that red color is popping. Robert expresses concerns about this level of commitment, when he’s used to the lukewarm obligation of children. Anny gets ready, and her friend is there, and apparently decided it was a good idea to wear a wedding dress to someone else’s wedding. Anny gives no fucks and is just glad her Porn-In-Law was uninvited. Her hair is sculpted into a style we can’t even buy at wigs.com, and Bryson happily escorts her down the aisle.
The officiant kicks things off by saying (and I checked this three times in disbelief): “Today you become a creation as you two come together as one, that has never ever been before in the earth.” If I ever get married, I need this woman. Anyway, remember how last time 90DF teased that he was going to leave her at the altar? That was your warning the opposite was going to happen. He kicks off with the “I can’t do this” and just before Anny has a nervous breakdown he drops to one knee and produces a ring. Being utterly terrified is what everyone wants when they’re fully done up and standing in front of a room full of people. They’re happily hitched, and it’s actually kind of sweet, and Anny declares she’s going to have five kids to match the five he already has. Robert insists he doesn’t want to have an NBA team that he knows about.
Mike and Natalie
What I wish happened: The cameras show Mike slowly extracting his phone from his pocket, removing the SIM card, then donating it to a shelter. Then he grabs a disposable one at a 7-11, and stops by the barbershop and gets a haircut. Then Darcy pulls up and asks if they have a bathroom where she can shower and meet Jay for some contract negotiation. Spying Mike out of the corner of her eye, she says, “Oh MY GAWD are you my boyfriend now?” Mike wonders what the hell is happening, and explains to Darcy that Oregon is in the United States, so this will never work.
“When did it stop being in Canada? My children are my world. Tom is still my boyfriend anyway, and I think he might know it.” Darcy starts crying, and Tom salsas into the frame, with Tania dancing quickly behind him. He tries to run, but she only salsas faster. In desperation, he turns and confesses he’s not a very good teacher.
“Don’t talk to me softly like that,” Tania declares, before grabbing him by his fragile British hand and insisting that her steps are usually more organized than this, and screaming for her tattoo artists to ready for another brand.
What really happens: 90DF producers decided that one stare-at-your-phone storyline just wouldn’t do, so here is big Mike, sitting in his living room, talking his way around Natalie’s scorn. She mentions that some shit happened off-screen that made her not trust him, and the 90DF producers are reminded that they are never around when something interesting happens. When they ask Mike about his secret, he simply walks off camera. Anyone want to place bets that Mike has a criminal record that is standing in the way of this whole K1 business?
Angela and Michael
What I wish happened: Angela wakes up, and discovers that Michael has left a “treasure map” on the nightstand. Certain that this is evidence of another lie, Angela attempts to follow the map, and demands directions from a hapless shop owner who has made a fortune during her stay by selling her cigarettes. He points vaguely at a distant jungle, and Angela disappears into the trees, pulling at her ponytail and yelling “Michael” over and over again. Meanwhile, Michael realizes that as much as he loves Donald Trump, Donald Trump does not love him, so he decides to stick with Nigerian Prince schemes until the next president assumes office. He hears Angela screaming in the distance and notices his treasure map is gone, and as the screams grow quieter and quieter, Paul duck-runs out of the jungle wearing a belt of human hair and a condom hat, bleating for Karine.
What really happens: Michael can’t get the K1 because of all those Nigerian terrorists that stuff bombs into their shoes at the airport, so they think the spousal visa is the best route. They learn about what’s required for a Nigerian wedding, and Angela needs a witness from the US of A. She knows that no one in her circle can afford it, so she’s going to have to fly back to America alone.
“Tell me,” the would-be officiant says. “Why did they give you another season so soon? Nothing has happened.”
“Two words for you: free plane tickets to Nigeria,” Angela explains. “Now I gotta make like a pudding snack and corn hole to the airport for a Piggly Wiggly.”
At the airport Michael gives her a nameplate necklace with his name, and he wears one that says Angela, because wasn’t high school great you guys? No, it really wasn’t. Still, every couple that watches this shit together will be exchanging these on Valentine’s Day. It’s too late for me to get my dude to watch this, but it’s not too late to not make any sense.
Michael and Juliana and Sister-Wife Sarah.
What I wish happened: Sarah reveals that in order to find the time to study for a forthcoming test, she’s been popping caffeine pills, but then she oversleeps and misses dance rehearsal, thus blowing her big shopping mall break. Michael comes in and wakes her up, and asks her what’s going on with this sleeping nonsense, and she says she can do it, she can have it all, she can do anything. Then she starts screaming I’m SO EXCITED! I’M SO EXCITED! Is this a caffeine pill addiction? Did it really develop in 22 minutes of programming? Madness! Max bursts through the door and snatches the pills from his mother’s hand, screaming, “Dear God, no! NO! Nancy Reagan warned us about this!!” As he races for the toilet, CeCe blocks the doorway screaming, “You could go to prison! Or rehab! Or think you’re an orange and jump off the roof!” Sarah thrashes around on the ground, threatening everyone with shoes. Later she’s in bed wearing her favorite pajamas, knowing that she’ll be fully recovered from this terrifying descent into addiction in the next 22 minute episode. Whew. That was a close one.
What actually happens: Michael brings the kids back to Sarah’s house, and Michael takes the time to thank her for inserting herself into their wedding. Sarah harkens back to the lovely day she married Michael, and how it rained before and after, but it was beautiful on the day of the event. She’s fine. Really. Then Sarah asks Michael about the prenup. He awkwardly says he doesn’t need one anymore, now that he has this hat. Sarah understands how this demand might make Juliana feel unsupported. Because she’s very, very understanding, and understands things, and she’s fine. Really.
Next week promises to be the highlight of the season, as Robert questions Tania about her soulmate fake news, Michael is revealed to be Cheater McCheaterson, Big Mike’s Big Secret finally reaches the airwaves, and in news that shocks no one, Shaun is left speechless.
Thank you Patreon supporters! Find me there for more shenanigans.
2019.10.06 18:04 TheLagbringer a simple tip - focus on your posture
I've been experimenting with my posture during practices and shows. The only thing I focus on is to put weight on tiptoes (not resting on heels), and to keep my core and balance firm at all times (retracted abs and lower back). Like a warmed up athlete that is ready to sprint when the gun goes off. I do it through the whole evening, during the scenes, when watching a scene, when sitting down, during briefing in between scenes. I was afraid it might rob me of attention, but quite unexpectedly, it helped me soooo much to be more present and not to lose myself in thought. Especially not to hesitate, but to listen more closely to what is happening and to react super quickly when the scene needs it. It always puts me into some kind of positive flow that spreads all over the place and infects others as well.
Your muscles and brain are part of the whole. Keep your body ready at all times, and your brain will be ready as well. Because once you start leaning against a wall, or relaxing on a chair, your brain follows and automatically starts to shut down.
Approach it as if you were in a kind of breathing yoga class. At all times only focus on this single thing, and if you catch yourself not focusing anymore, refocus. Do not care about other things (who what where, yes and, object work, ...), only this and see how that works out for you. Experiment, play with it. For me, it works extremely well and enables me to react very naturally. Just by being in this "elevated" state of mind, my mind spits out very good and natural responses, far ahead of my ego with its nagging doubts and over-analyzing before entering the scene. However, as with all things in life - don't overdo it. Find a healthy balance between being soft and wiggly and being super tense and shaky. Hope this helps someone, good luck !!!
tldr; during practice or a show, focus only on one single thing - put weight on tiptoes (like sprinter) and keep strong core (like dancer)
submitted by TheLagbringer to improv [link] [comments]
Your muscles and brain are part of the whole. Keep your body ready at all times, and your brain will be ready as well. Because once you start leaning against a wall, or relaxing on a chair, your brain follows and automatically starts to shut down.
Approach it as if you were in a kind of breathing yoga class. At all times only focus on this single thing, and if you catch yourself not focusing anymore, refocus. Do not care about other things (who what where, yes and, object work, ...), only this and see how that works out for you. Experiment, play with it. For me, it works extremely well and enables me to react very naturally. Just by being in this "elevated" state of mind, my mind spits out very good and natural responses, far ahead of my ego with its nagging doubts and over-analyzing before entering the scene. However, as with all things in life - don't overdo it. Find a healthy balance between being soft and wiggly and being super tense and shaky. Hope this helps someone, good luck !!!
tldr; during practice or a show, focus only on one single thing - put weight on tiptoes (like sprinter) and keep strong core (like dancer)
2019.07.16 04:53 Bball1997 Anthony's Replacement
Who do you think will take over for Anthony when he decides to retire in a few years or so? Here are my guesses and a few wishful hopefuls
submitted by Bball1997 to wiggles [link] [comments]
- Oliver Brian: Not counting Caterina he is now the longest tenured Wiggly Dancer still touring. Everyone else came and went more or less. It'd be weird watching him go from background musician to full-fledged Wiggle, but I feel like he is the one who's "earned it" so to speak. I feel he'd go the way of Anthony and Murray and chill off to the side strumming a guitar, but that's nbd to me.
- Dominic Field: This would keep things in the Field family, and Dom can carry a tune and dance, while also knowing how to play several instruments.
- David O' Reilly: This is that blonde guy who's been touring with the band this year and playing drums on most of their songs as well as guitar. I feel he's another good fit for someone musically talented who can just kinda be that gy in the background playing an instrument while the other three shine.
- Nick Hutchinson: If they can get him back from whatever he's doing these days I think he would do swell in this role.
- Michael King: We all know what happens when the guy who obsessively follows the Wiggles on social media and keeps creeping up to their concerts alongside a social media post the one day he almost fills in for Anthony gets to join the band permanently. I feel it would be a dumpster fire waiting to happen.
- Paul Paddick: Who knows how long he'll be doing this yet...? He's just a few years younger than Anthony.
2019.04.15 00:37 tourmaline82 Chagrin Valley Soap & Salve reviews: soap, face cream, lip balm
Does anyone else love using up a bar of soap? I do, because it means I get to buy MORE SOAP! So a couple weeks ago I made an order from Chagrin Valley Soap & Salve, purveyors of organic eco-friendly skin and hair care. Being a proud treehugger myself, I appreciate the effort Chagrin Valley puts into making a comprehensive line of effective and sustainable products. I've liked the soaps I bought from them in the past, but now that I live in arid eastern Colorado, I need to try some more moisturizing soaps than what I used near the coast. Fortunately they offer sample size soaps so I could try several.
SOAP
Honey Butter: An unscented soap loaded with cocoa, shea, and mango butters along with several oils and aloe vera. Reviews said that this smells like cocoa butter, but I really had to concentrate to get even the faintest whiff of cocoa. Sadness. On the plus side, it works! Not only do I get clean, my skin feels so much less dry upon getting out of the shower. I went without my usual post-shower lotion the first time I used Honey Butter in the interests of accurate reporting. I still probably could have used some lotion, Colorado in winter is so so so dry, but it was more "hmm, I think I'd like a little more moisturizing" than "oh my god my skin feels two sizes too small". A solid A, more cocoa butter smell would take it to A+. I think I'll try Chocolate & Honey next time, it also has lots of butters and is scented with actual cocoa powder as well as cocoa butter.
Castile & Shea: Olive-based castile soap with the additions of shea butter, goat milk, and lavender. I haven't tried this one yet (one bar at a time!) but it has a pleasant herbal lavender scent. It's not very strong, as most of Chagrin Valley's scented products are not heavily scented.
Aloe, Aloe, Aloe: An olive and coconut based soap loaded with aloe butter, aloe vera juice, and a crisp lemony scent. It's not quite true lemon, there's definitely more to the blend, but that's what it reminds me of. I look forward to finding out what this much aloe does to the texture and performance of a cold process soap.
FACE CREAM
Whipped Squalane Face & Eye Cream: A rich whipped product with a firm texture more like cold whipped butter than whipped cream. It melts easily on contact with skin, and a little dab will do ya. If you use too much you'll end up greasy. The jar looks small at first, but with how little I need to use at a time, I'm sure it will last for months. It has a light herbal lavender scent.
This product seems to be one of Chagrin Valley's biggest hits. Now that I've used it for a week, I can see why! I was having problems with perpetually flaky skin on the sides of my nose, even with hydrating and moisturizing products. Note the past tense! There's still a tiny bit of flaking, but so much less than I used to have. And it's not making me break out! I hope that with continued use I'll beat the flakies once and for all. I don't expect any cream to get rid of wrinkles, but maybe it will help slow the formation of new ones. We'll see. For now I'm just happy not to have that irritating dry skin on my nose.
LIP BALM
Aloe Butter Natural: A truly unscented lip balm that comes in a little glass pot. I was looking for something softer than my beloved Epically Epic for use in my poor chronically dry nose, so I decided to try this one since I was ordering soap anyway. I tried it on my lips first out of curiosity. It's softer and more slippery than most stick balms, and sinks in faster leaving only a thin layer behind. Kind of weird, but it made my lips feel soft and hydrated. As for my nose, it works just as well there preventing high altitude nosebleeds! The only downside is that the opening of the pot is kind of small. It doesn't matter much to me since I use cotton swabs to apply the product, but for those who want to stick a finger in there, you might have to use your pinky if you have fat fingers like me.
SHAMPOO
Soapnuts Shampoo: An unscented shampoo bar with soapnuts, babassu oil, and kaolin clay. It has a faintly herbal scent. I didn't get this one for me. My fat cat needs some help grooming, she is perpetually greasy and dandruffy on her lower back. (Yes, she is on a diet. The problem is that she prefers to snooze in the sun rather than chase a cat dancer toy or laser light.) Wipes and waterless shampoos aren't doing the trick anymore. So I decided to woman up, get some cat-safe shampoo, and learn how to bathe a cat. A lot of people in the online cat grooming community like a certain brand of cold process soap marketed especially for cats. It makes sense, I've bathed a wiggly dog before and trying to get liquid shampoo out of a bottle one-handed without spilling it is a royal pain. A bar of soap might be easier to manage. The problem is, this brand refuses to disclose an ingredients list. So I went to Chagrin Valley and picked one of their unscented shampoo bars. (Essential oils can be poisonous to cats.) Soapnuts are safe for cats and might help with Missy May's dandruff problem. We'll see, I want to wait until the weather warms up some before I try bathing her.
I hope these reviews have been informative and/or interesting! Let me know if you have any questions and I will do my best to answer.
submitted by tourmaline82 to Indiemakeupandmore [link] [comments]
SOAP
Honey Butter: An unscented soap loaded with cocoa, shea, and mango butters along with several oils and aloe vera. Reviews said that this smells like cocoa butter, but I really had to concentrate to get even the faintest whiff of cocoa. Sadness. On the plus side, it works! Not only do I get clean, my skin feels so much less dry upon getting out of the shower. I went without my usual post-shower lotion the first time I used Honey Butter in the interests of accurate reporting. I still probably could have used some lotion, Colorado in winter is so so so dry, but it was more "hmm, I think I'd like a little more moisturizing" than "oh my god my skin feels two sizes too small". A solid A, more cocoa butter smell would take it to A+. I think I'll try Chocolate & Honey next time, it also has lots of butters and is scented with actual cocoa powder as well as cocoa butter.
Castile & Shea: Olive-based castile soap with the additions of shea butter, goat milk, and lavender. I haven't tried this one yet (one bar at a time!) but it has a pleasant herbal lavender scent. It's not very strong, as most of Chagrin Valley's scented products are not heavily scented.
Aloe, Aloe, Aloe: An olive and coconut based soap loaded with aloe butter, aloe vera juice, and a crisp lemony scent. It's not quite true lemon, there's definitely more to the blend, but that's what it reminds me of. I look forward to finding out what this much aloe does to the texture and performance of a cold process soap.
FACE CREAM
Whipped Squalane Face & Eye Cream: A rich whipped product with a firm texture more like cold whipped butter than whipped cream. It melts easily on contact with skin, and a little dab will do ya. If you use too much you'll end up greasy. The jar looks small at first, but with how little I need to use at a time, I'm sure it will last for months. It has a light herbal lavender scent.
This product seems to be one of Chagrin Valley's biggest hits. Now that I've used it for a week, I can see why! I was having problems with perpetually flaky skin on the sides of my nose, even with hydrating and moisturizing products. Note the past tense! There's still a tiny bit of flaking, but so much less than I used to have. And it's not making me break out! I hope that with continued use I'll beat the flakies once and for all. I don't expect any cream to get rid of wrinkles, but maybe it will help slow the formation of new ones. We'll see. For now I'm just happy not to have that irritating dry skin on my nose.
LIP BALM
Aloe Butter Natural: A truly unscented lip balm that comes in a little glass pot. I was looking for something softer than my beloved Epically Epic for use in my poor chronically dry nose, so I decided to try this one since I was ordering soap anyway. I tried it on my lips first out of curiosity. It's softer and more slippery than most stick balms, and sinks in faster leaving only a thin layer behind. Kind of weird, but it made my lips feel soft and hydrated. As for my nose, it works just as well there preventing high altitude nosebleeds! The only downside is that the opening of the pot is kind of small. It doesn't matter much to me since I use cotton swabs to apply the product, but for those who want to stick a finger in there, you might have to use your pinky if you have fat fingers like me.
SHAMPOO
Soapnuts Shampoo: An unscented shampoo bar with soapnuts, babassu oil, and kaolin clay. It has a faintly herbal scent. I didn't get this one for me. My fat cat needs some help grooming, she is perpetually greasy and dandruffy on her lower back. (Yes, she is on a diet. The problem is that she prefers to snooze in the sun rather than chase a cat dancer toy or laser light.) Wipes and waterless shampoos aren't doing the trick anymore. So I decided to woman up, get some cat-safe shampoo, and learn how to bathe a cat. A lot of people in the online cat grooming community like a certain brand of cold process soap marketed especially for cats. It makes sense, I've bathed a wiggly dog before and trying to get liquid shampoo out of a bottle one-handed without spilling it is a royal pain. A bar of soap might be easier to manage. The problem is, this brand refuses to disclose an ingredients list. So I went to Chagrin Valley and picked one of their unscented shampoo bars. (Essential oils can be poisonous to cats.) Soapnuts are safe for cats and might help with Missy May's dandruff problem. We'll see, I want to wait until the weather warms up some before I try bathing her.
I hope these reviews have been informative and/or interesting! Let me know if you have any questions and I will do my best to answer.
2017.08.11 13:46 jimmarcucci [For Sale] indie, alternative, punk, electronic, emo plus more! Athletics, guided by voices, Boston Spaceships, the wrens, long winters etc...
Hi everyone! most everything below is in VG+ condition or better. Some are still sealed as well! I noted any flaws you would need to be aware of and will respond to any questions you may have. Media mail Shipping is $4.95 in the states for up to 2 records. Each additional record is .50 cents. Shipping to Canada is $16.95 for up to 2 records. Each additional record is $1.00. Shipping to everywhere else is $23.95 for 1 record. Each additional record is $4.00 Double albums count as 2 records for international shipping. The more you buy the better the deal so try to get as much as possible. I can not hold anything so its first come first serve. Please do not be afraid to make an offer if you see something I priced out of sight. I do not bite ;) I ship in proper mailers and have perfect feedback on ebay and discogs. NOT ONE negative experience in the last 18 years of selling online! My email is the best way to get to me: Lamb5aLL@comcast.net I accept google wallet or PayPal. If you think a price is off then make an offer. The worst I can say is "no" ;) Thanks!
Record Pressed Price
Actors & Actresses 'arrows' (gray with yellow haze wax, tour edition) 100 $10
Aeges 'the bridge' (pink & black swirl wax) 300 $15
Alcoa 'bone & marrow' (1st press, clear with black & grey smoke wax) 700 $14
Alcoa 'parlour tricks' (maroon wax) 2000 $5
All The Saints 'fire on corridor x' (white wax) $10
Aloha 'little windows cut right through' (180 gram) $15
Archers Of Loaf 'icky mettle' (RE, remastered, blue wax) 2000 $16
Ash 'ichiban' 7" (letter series G, etched b-side) 1000 $3
Ash 'pripyat' 7" (letter series F, etched b-side) 1000 $3
Astrobrite 'crush' (1st press transparent red wax) 300 $60 SOLD
Astrobrite 'crush' (1st press black vinyl) 300. $50
Athletics 'why aren't I home' (sea blue & silver, heat sensitive ink painted sleeve) 100. $100
Athletics 'who you are is not enough' (cup o joe, numbered and hand made sleeve) 150. $100 SOLD
Aurthur Baker featuring Tim Wheeler 'glow' 7" (lead singer of ash) $3
Autolux 'pussy's dead' (sealed, member of failure, SEALED) $19
Avid Dancer '1st bath' $10
Awolnation 'run' $10
Bahamas 'pink strat' $15
Band of Horses 'cease to begin' (1st press) $15
Barcelona 'not quite yours' (warped but plays all the way through) $20
Barnabys "delightful browns" ep $3
Beachwood Sparks 'beachwood sparks' (RE, limited blue wax) 500 $25
Beatnik Filmstars 'all pop stars are talentless slags' 10" $8
Beatnik Filmstars 'apathetic english swine' 7" $5
Beatnik Filmstars 'blue noize' 7" ep $5
Beatnik Filmstars 'bridegrooms' 7" ep $5
Beatnik Filmstars 'off white noize' 7" ep $5
Beatnik Filmstars 'pink noize' 7" $5
Beaulieu Porch 'the color 55' (purple marble wax) 300 $7
Birthmark 'antibodies' (white wax) 1000 $10
Black Moth Super Rainbow + The Octopus Project "the house of apples and eyeballs" (blue & white splatter wax) 1000 $18
Black Moth Super Rainbow 'cobra juicy' (white with orange splatter wax) $25 SOLD
Black Moth Super Rainbow 'eating us' (RE, grey wax) 1000 $20
Blitzen Trapper 'destroyer of the void' $12 SOLD
Boston Spaceships "our cubehouse still rocks" (sealed) $35
Boston Spaceships 'camera found the raygun' 7" ep. $25
Brendan Benson 'what kind of world' $12
Bright Eyes 'cassadaga" (RE 2x12) $17 SOLD
Bright 'full negative (or) breaks' (2x12, a/b black wax c/d clear wax, includes bonus cd of the miller fantasies) $10
Bright 'plymouth rock' 7" (royal blue wax) $3
Broken Spindles 'fullfilled/complete' (white wax) $10
Broken Spindles 'inside/absent' (white wax) $10
Bugskull 'communication' 300 $10
Butch Walker 'afraid of ghosts' (gatefold sleeve) $8
Candy Butchers/Mike Viola 'hang on mike' (2x12, sealed) 500 $65 SOLD
Catfish and the Bottlemen 'balcony' (gatefold sleeve) $15
Chavez 'ride the fader' (2nd press). $14
Comet 'chandeller musings' (the sleeve is in g condition) $10
Cookie Duster 'when flying was easy' (broken social scene members) $9
Cornershop 'wog' (12" single) $5
Cursive 'I am gemini' (with cd & 16 page booklet) $10
Daisyhead 'the smallest light' (1st press, flourescent yellow) 300 $12. SOLD
Dale Earnhardt Jr Jr 'patterns' ep (rsd 2013) 500 $8
Damon Albarn 'democrazy' (2x10", limited white wax & a picture disc, lead singer of blur & gorillaz) 5000 $24
Denison Witmer 'are you a dreamer' (cyls exclusive, black wax) 100 $10
Denison Witmer 'carry the weight' (yellow marble) $10
Desaparecidos 'payola' (translucent green wax) 2000 $20
Diiv 'is the is are' (captured tracks ed, 2x12, 32 page chapbook of art & poetry, 2x12 page art books, clear+white marbled w/blue&yellow, clear+white marbled w/pink&red wax) 500 $29 SOLD
Diiv 'oshin' (tour ed, silk screened sleeve, hand numbered) #373/500 $30 SOLD
Doo Rag 'chuncked and muddled' (only sold on tour in 1994, stamp numbered) #469/500 $140 SOLD
Dope Body 'kunk' $10
Dragoon 'this galaxy is but a nursery' (members from the grifters) $10
Dream Boat 'eclipsing' (features members from elephant 6) $8
Drug War 'aim high' 500 $8
Eiafuawn 'birds in the ground' (180 gram, sweeden import, clay parton from duster) 525 $25
Elliot Brood 'days into years' (1st press white wax with alternative screened sleeve) 500 $15
Enon 'hold on' (clear wax, hand screenprinted sleeve, inc. bonus 7") 500 $50
Erase errata 'other animals'. $7
Ex-Action Figures 'global kid' 7" $3
Fireworks 'we are everywhere' (1st pressing, yellow wax w/flexi) 200 $20 SOLD
Fireworks 'oh common life' (1st pressing orange hot topic exc) 700 $16
Fran Healy 'wreckorder' (180 gram, w/poster & download card, lead singer of travis, not flat but plays all the way through) $18
Freelance Whales 'diluvia' $15
Gem Club 'breakers' $7
Get Up Kids 'simple science' ep (vinyl collective exc, numbered baby blue wax 500 pressed) #937/2000 $20
Good Old War 'broken into better shape' $8
Good Old War 'come back as rain' 1000 $12 SOLD
Good Old War 'good old war' $12 SOLD
Grammatics 'double negative' 7" $4
Grammatics 'shadow committee' 7" $4
Grammatics 'the vague archive' 7" (white wax) 400 $4
Gruff Rhys 'american interior' (gatefold sleeve) $10
Gruff Rhys 'hotel shampoo' $27
Handguns 'angst' (1st press, white w/kelly green haze) 500 $15
Handguns 'life lessons'' (1st press, baby blue, milky clear, royal blue stripped ) 1600 $10
Headlights 'wildlife' $10
Heavy Drag 'sabana ghost' 350 $15
Hey Rosetta 'seeds' (cd included) $20
Holopaw 'academy songs vol 1' $12
Hooded Fang 'gravez' (red wax) 300 $22 SOLD
Horse Feathers 'so it, is with us' (clear wax) 200 $25
Hushdrops 'summer people/radio 1990' 7" 200 $10
Hushdrops 'transmission/miami rap/amelia airhead' 7" 200 $10
Into It Over It '(koji split, RE clear maroon wax) 500 $15
Jacob's Mouse 'rubber room' $18
Jagwar Ma 'another day in the sun' 12" single (dreams) 500 $8
Jagwar Ma 'the time and space time machine dub sessions' 12" $20
Jayhawks 'blue' 7" (promo single) $4
Jenny Mae 'there's a bar just around the corner, asshole' $10
Jesse Sykes & The Sweet Hearafter 'like, love, lust & the open halls of the soul' (2x12, no sleeve) $8
Joe Pernice 'it feels so good when I stop' $15
Joie De Vivre 'the north end' (1st press, halloween orange wax) 350 $20
Kizzy Hall 'a touch of kizz in the night' (green wax) #428/500 $10
Lcd Soundsystem 'lcd soundsystem' $17
Lees of memory "ain't no changing baby's mind" 7" mono 300. $5
Les Sins 'michael' (chaz from toro y moi) $12 SOLD
Liars 'sisterworld' (deluxe 2x12, no cds) $15
Liars 'they threw us all in a trench and stuck a monument on top' (RE 180 gram) $15
Liars 'they were wrong, so we drowned' (2nd press) $15
Liars 'wixiw' (includes cd) $10
Loney Dear 'dear john' (180 gram) $10
Loney Dear 'loney, noir' (autographed) $15
Looper 'the snare' (belle & sebastion member) $7
M83 'dead cities, red seas & lost ghosts' (1st press, 2x12) $25
M83 'm83' (RE 2x12) $15
Major League 'there's nothing wrong with me' (hot topic exc, white w/maroon & yellow splatter wax) 500 $12
Man Overboard 'heart attack' (white w/green starburst wax, cd) 1300 $15
Man Overboard 'heavy love' (1st press, clear with sea blue & red splatter, includes cd) $10
Margot & The Nuclear So and So's 'birds/bubbleprick' 7" (#'d on clear gold wax, 100 pressed on yellow) 100 $65
Margot & The Nuclear So and So's 'birds/bubbleprick' 7" (#'d on black wax) #271/1000 $25 SOLD
Margot & The Nuclear So and So's 'prozac rock/fingertips' 7" (black wax & #'d) #356 $30
Margot & The Nuclear So and So's 'prozac rock/fingertips' 7" (black wax & #'d) #221 $30
Mark Kozelek 'live at biko' (2x12, sealed) 2000 $10
Matt Pond Pa 'the green fury' $10
Midlake 'antiphon' (gatefold sleeve w/poster) $12
Mike Viola 'lurch' (includes bonus 7". Vg/vg) 500 $30 SOLD
Mind Bomb 'do you need some' (10" single) $3
Minus The Bear 'interpretaciones del oso' (RE 2016 blue & gold wax) 1000 $13
Maker 'mirrors' (black wax) 100 $7
Monsterland 'peanut butter karma' 7" $3
My Morning Jacket 'chocolate & ice' ep (1st press, gold & chocolate swirl wax. Has a haze on vinyl) 1025 $10
Nick Piunti 'beyond the static' (transparent light blue wax) 250 $25
Noga Erez "off the radar" (sealed vmp exc #490/500 blue wax) $35
Noggin 'space needle' (hand screened front sleeve, sealed) 100 $10
Of Montreal 'aldhils arboretum' $15
Of Montreal 'coquelicot asleep in the poppies' (2x12) $15
Of Montreal 'daughter of cloud' (2x12 180 gram) $15
Of Montreal 'id engager' 7" $5
Of Montreal 'skeletal lamping' (2x12 180 gram w/pop up poster) $15
Ola Podrida 'belly of the lion' (member of papermoon) 250 $30
Oranger 'new comes & goes' (pink wax) $17 SOLD
Orton Socket '99 explosions' (pink with white swirl wax) 500 $6
Papercuts 'fading parade' (white marble wax) $10
Papermoons 'no love' (1st press trns red wax) 100 $15
Papermoons 'self titled' 7" (blue splatter) $5
Permanent Collection 'newly wednearly dead' (2nd pressing, milky clear wax, sealed) 500 $10
Pete Yorn 'back & forth' (sealed) $12
Photon Band 'easy pop art research' 7"' $4
Photon Band 'superstard/sitting on the sunn' 7" $4
Prefuse 73 'the only she chapters' (2x12) $10
Prefuse 73 'rivington nao rio/every coloforsyth gardens tripech' (3 records in this set of 3, 1 lp & 2 eps on colored wax) 100 $90
Quiet Company 'a dead man on my back' (2x12 white wax, signed by the band) $25
Red house painters "Ramon" (reissue). $15
Regina Spektor 'solviet kitsch' (rsd 2016, red wax with bonus 7" large hole) 3000 $25
Relient K 'air for free' (1st press, 2x12, white wax, No cover) $10
REM 'wendell gee' (UK 12" single) $8
Rodan 'how the winter was passed' 7" $4. SOLD
Rollerskate Skinny 'shoulder voices' (2nd press medical 180 gram red wax) $18 SOLd
sELF "porno, mint & grime" (2x12 colored wax) 2000. $26
Set Your Goals 'burning at both ends' (180 gram black wax) $10
Slow Runner 'new monsters' (slight warp but plays through) 300 $15
Son, Ambulance 'someone elses déjà vu' (2x12) $10
Sone 'sone' $7
Sonny & The Sunsets 'talent night at the ashram' (red wax) $15
Sound Sleeper 'a perfect sea for drowning' ep (150 gram cut @ 45rpm, hand numbered, 213 pressed in black wax) #194/300 $15
Spiritulized 'songs in a & e' (RE, 2x12 white wax) $15
Stay Ahead of the Weather "we better get goin', if we're gonna" 7" (white wax) 300 $10 SOLD
Strapping Fieldhands 'the caul' 10" ep $10
Superconductor 'bastardsong' (2x12, ac newman of the new pornographers) $19
Supreme Dicks 'the emotional plague' (2x12) $10
Swag 'catch-all' (hand numbered on the spindle label, members of wilco, sixpence none the richer, the mavericks, and cheap trick. VG sleeve) $15
Teenage Fanclub 'man-made' (RE) $12
Teenage Fanclub 'shadows' (180 gram) $12
Temples "sun structures" (black wax fat possum). $10
Tenement 'blind wink' (RE) $10
Tenement 'taking everything/daylight world' 7" ep (black wax) 390 $9
The 1975 'I like it when you sleep, for you are so beautiful yet so unaware of it' (CD signed sleeve by all 4 members, target exc.) $20
The Acorn 'no ghost' (180 gram, silk screened sleeve, transparent red wax) 300 $20
The Album Leaf 'in a safe place' (1st press city slang) $30
The Antlers 'undersea' ep (clear sea blue wax) 500 $35
The Ataris 'end is forever' (2nd pressing, hot topic exc red w/yellow) 1500 $10
The Besnard lakes 'the besnard lakes are the dark horse'' $10
The Besnard lakes 'the besnard lakes are the roaring night' $10
The Darcys 'warring' (180 gram) $12
The decemberists "what a terrible world" (Newbury exclusive on teal wax) 1000 $24 SOLD
The deathset "worldwide" $9
The Dismemberment Plan 'change' $19
The Drowning Men 'all of the unknown' (translucent gold wax) $10
The Elected 'bury me in my rings' $7
The Flaming Lips 'clouds taste metallic' (RE, RM 2011. Slight warp but plays well) $15
The Flaming Lips zaireeka' (4x12 colored wax) 7200 $25
The Helio Sequence 'the helio sequence' (die cut sleeve) $10
The Hotelier 'goodness' (1st press, 2x12, spins @ 45rpm, fawn & field wax) 725 $25
The Long Winters/Spiral Stairs split 7" (clear wax) $9 SOLD
The Long Winters 'ultamatum' 12" ep $13
The Mommyheads 'acorn' (1st press, fang records) $15
The Posies 'blood/candy' (180 gram w/poster) $15
The Replacements 'all shook down' (1st press, german 1990, skipping for a minute of track 1)) $25
The Shivas 'you know what to do' $10
The Sidekicks 'runners in the nerved world' (includes a cd) $10
The Weakerthans 'fallow' $17 SOLD
The Wonder Years 'no closer to heaven' (2x12, etched a/blue b/burgundy wax) 5050 $20
The Wrens 'secaucus' 100 $400
The wrens "napiers" 7" (white wax). $10
The Wytches 'crying clown' 7" $8
Thinking Fellers Union Local 282 'bob dinners and larry noodles' 1500 $20
This Time Next Year 'drop out of life' (1st pressing coke bottle clear was) 750 $10
Todd rundgren "something/anything" promo green & red vinyl. $100. SOLD
Toro Y Moi 'campo' 7" 300 $25 SOLD
Tristeza "a colores" 2x12 (jimmy from album leaf) 300. $45 SOLD
Tuns 'tuns' (includes members from sloan, super friendz & inbreds) $20
Uncle Wiggly 'jump back, baby' $10
Various "comp for mom" (red wax) #334/1075 $20
Vertical Scratchers 'daughter of everything' (lead singer of enon & guitarist from brainiac) $10
Vetiver 'complete strangers' $10
Von Hemmling 'jw kellogg' ep (single sided etched, elephant 6 collective) $10
Wavves 'king of the beach" (RE, glow in the dark wax newbury comics exc, SEALED) 750 $70 SOLD
We Shot The Moon 'love on' (yellow wax) 100 $20
Weaves 'weaves' (neon pink wax) $15
Wilco "schmilco" (pink wax) 7000. $17
Wingtip Sloat 'if only for the hatchery' 500 $10
Wondermints 'proto-pretty/silly place' 7" (transparent clear wax) 200 $20 SOLD
Woods 'at echo lake' $10
Woods 'sun and shade' $10
Woods 'with light and love' $15
Yo Gabba Gabba 'the super music friends show' (uo exc, 2x12 one orange & one yellow wax, gatefold sleeve, spins @ 45 rpm) #250 $40
Zammuto 'anchor' $15
Zeus 'classic zeus' (white wax) $10
Zookeeper 'pink chalk' (coke bottle wax, lead singer of mineral) 300 $6
Guided By Voices 'Chocolate Boy' 7" (chocolate ) 1000 $10 SOLD
Guided By Voices 'Keep in Motion' 7" (usa, red) 1000 $5 SOLD
Guided By Voices 'Jon The Croc' 7" (usa, blue) 1000 $5 SOLD
Guided By Voices 'Class Clown' 7" (usa, clear) 1000 $5 SOLD
Circus Devils 'When Machines Attack' (SEALED) 700 $15
Circus devils "five" 1000. $30 SOLD
Circus devils "pinball mars". 500. $50 SOLD
Circus Devils 'My Mind Has Seen The White Trick' (SEALED) 700 $15
Circus Devils 'Escape' 500 $12
Circus Devils 'Stomping Grounds' 500 $25
Nightwalker 'Sponic' 7" ep (nightwalker) 1000 $10
Nightwalker 'firehouse mountain' 7" ep (smokey black wax) 1000 $10
Airport 5 'Life Starts Here' 500 $15
Teenage Guitar 'Force Fields at Home' (SEALED) 1000 $10 SOLD
Hazzard Hotrods 'big trouble' CD 1000 $10
Ricked Wickey 'I sell the circus' $10
Childrens Crusade 'scorpio moon' 7" #1341/1500 $5
submitted by jimmarcucci to VinylCollectors [link] [comments]
Record Pressed Price
Actors & Actresses 'arrows' (gray with yellow haze wax, tour edition) 100 $10
Aeges 'the bridge' (pink & black swirl wax) 300 $15
Alcoa 'bone & marrow' (1st press, clear with black & grey smoke wax) 700 $14
Alcoa 'parlour tricks' (maroon wax) 2000 $5
All The Saints 'fire on corridor x' (white wax) $10
Aloha 'little windows cut right through' (180 gram) $15
Archers Of Loaf 'icky mettle' (RE, remastered, blue wax) 2000 $16
Ash 'ichiban' 7" (letter series G, etched b-side) 1000 $3
Ash 'pripyat' 7" (letter series F, etched b-side) 1000 $3
Astrobrite 'crush' (1st press transparent red wax) 300 $60 SOLD
Astrobrite 'crush' (1st press black vinyl) 300. $50
Athletics 'why aren't I home' (sea blue & silver, heat sensitive ink painted sleeve) 100. $100
Athletics 'who you are is not enough' (cup o joe, numbered and hand made sleeve) 150. $100 SOLD
Aurthur Baker featuring Tim Wheeler 'glow' 7" (lead singer of ash) $3
Autolux 'pussy's dead' (sealed, member of failure, SEALED) $19
Avid Dancer '1st bath' $10
Awolnation 'run' $10
Bahamas 'pink strat' $15
Band of Horses 'cease to begin' (1st press) $15
Barcelona 'not quite yours' (warped but plays all the way through) $20
Barnabys "delightful browns" ep $3
Beachwood Sparks 'beachwood sparks' (RE, limited blue wax) 500 $25
Beatnik Filmstars 'all pop stars are talentless slags' 10" $8
Beatnik Filmstars 'apathetic english swine' 7" $5
Beatnik Filmstars 'blue noize' 7" ep $5
Beatnik Filmstars 'bridegrooms' 7" ep $5
Beatnik Filmstars 'off white noize' 7" ep $5
Beatnik Filmstars 'pink noize' 7" $5
Beaulieu Porch 'the color 55' (purple marble wax) 300 $7
Birthmark 'antibodies' (white wax) 1000 $10
Black Moth Super Rainbow + The Octopus Project "the house of apples and eyeballs" (blue & white splatter wax) 1000 $18
Black Moth Super Rainbow 'cobra juicy' (white with orange splatter wax) $25 SOLD
Black Moth Super Rainbow 'eating us' (RE, grey wax) 1000 $20
Blitzen Trapper 'destroyer of the void' $12 SOLD
Boston Spaceships "our cubehouse still rocks" (sealed) $35
Boston Spaceships 'camera found the raygun' 7" ep. $25
Brendan Benson 'what kind of world' $12
Bright Eyes 'cassadaga" (RE 2x12) $17 SOLD
Bright 'full negative (or) breaks' (2x12, a/b black wax c/d clear wax, includes bonus cd of the miller fantasies) $10
Bright 'plymouth rock' 7" (royal blue wax) $3
Broken Spindles 'fullfilled/complete' (white wax) $10
Broken Spindles 'inside/absent' (white wax) $10
Bugskull 'communication' 300 $10
Butch Walker 'afraid of ghosts' (gatefold sleeve) $8
Candy Butchers/Mike Viola 'hang on mike' (2x12, sealed) 500 $65 SOLD
Catfish and the Bottlemen 'balcony' (gatefold sleeve) $15
Chavez 'ride the fader' (2nd press). $14
Comet 'chandeller musings' (the sleeve is in g condition) $10
Cookie Duster 'when flying was easy' (broken social scene members) $9
Cornershop 'wog' (12" single) $5
Cursive 'I am gemini' (with cd & 16 page booklet) $10
Daisyhead 'the smallest light' (1st press, flourescent yellow) 300 $12. SOLD
Dale Earnhardt Jr Jr 'patterns' ep (rsd 2013) 500 $8
Damon Albarn 'democrazy' (2x10", limited white wax & a picture disc, lead singer of blur & gorillaz) 5000 $24
Denison Witmer 'are you a dreamer' (cyls exclusive, black wax) 100 $10
Denison Witmer 'carry the weight' (yellow marble) $10
Desaparecidos 'payola' (translucent green wax) 2000 $20
Diiv 'is the is are' (captured tracks ed, 2x12, 32 page chapbook of art & poetry, 2x12 page art books, clear+white marbled w/blue&yellow, clear+white marbled w/pink&red wax) 500 $29 SOLD
Diiv 'oshin' (tour ed, silk screened sleeve, hand numbered) #373/500 $30 SOLD
Doo Rag 'chuncked and muddled' (only sold on tour in 1994, stamp numbered) #469/500 $140 SOLD
Dope Body 'kunk' $10
Dragoon 'this galaxy is but a nursery' (members from the grifters) $10
Dream Boat 'eclipsing' (features members from elephant 6) $8
Drug War 'aim high' 500 $8
Eiafuawn 'birds in the ground' (180 gram, sweeden import, clay parton from duster) 525 $25
Elliot Brood 'days into years' (1st press white wax with alternative screened sleeve) 500 $15
Enon 'hold on' (clear wax, hand screenprinted sleeve, inc. bonus 7") 500 $50
Erase errata 'other animals'. $7
Ex-Action Figures 'global kid' 7" $3
Fireworks 'we are everywhere' (1st pressing, yellow wax w/flexi) 200 $20 SOLD
Fireworks 'oh common life' (1st pressing orange hot topic exc) 700 $16
Fran Healy 'wreckorder' (180 gram, w/poster & download card, lead singer of travis, not flat but plays all the way through) $18
Freelance Whales 'diluvia' $15
Gem Club 'breakers' $7
Get Up Kids 'simple science' ep (vinyl collective exc, numbered baby blue wax 500 pressed) #937/2000 $20
Good Old War 'broken into better shape' $8
Good Old War 'come back as rain' 1000 $12 SOLD
Good Old War 'good old war' $12 SOLD
Grammatics 'double negative' 7" $4
Grammatics 'shadow committee' 7" $4
Grammatics 'the vague archive' 7" (white wax) 400 $4
Gruff Rhys 'american interior' (gatefold sleeve) $10
Gruff Rhys 'hotel shampoo' $27
Handguns 'angst' (1st press, white w/kelly green haze) 500 $15
Handguns 'life lessons'' (1st press, baby blue, milky clear, royal blue stripped ) 1600 $10
Headlights 'wildlife' $10
Heavy Drag 'sabana ghost' 350 $15
Hey Rosetta 'seeds' (cd included) $20
Holopaw 'academy songs vol 1' $12
Hooded Fang 'gravez' (red wax) 300 $22 SOLD
Horse Feathers 'so it, is with us' (clear wax) 200 $25
Hushdrops 'summer people/radio 1990' 7" 200 $10
Hushdrops 'transmission/miami rap/amelia airhead' 7" 200 $10
Into It Over It '(koji split, RE clear maroon wax) 500 $15
Jacob's Mouse 'rubber room' $18
Jagwar Ma 'another day in the sun' 12" single (dreams) 500 $8
Jagwar Ma 'the time and space time machine dub sessions' 12" $20
Jayhawks 'blue' 7" (promo single) $4
Jenny Mae 'there's a bar just around the corner, asshole' $10
Jesse Sykes & The Sweet Hearafter 'like, love, lust & the open halls of the soul' (2x12, no sleeve) $8
Joe Pernice 'it feels so good when I stop' $15
Joie De Vivre 'the north end' (1st press, halloween orange wax) 350 $20
Kizzy Hall 'a touch of kizz in the night' (green wax) #428/500 $10
Lcd Soundsystem 'lcd soundsystem' $17
Lees of memory "ain't no changing baby's mind" 7" mono 300. $5
Les Sins 'michael' (chaz from toro y moi) $12 SOLD
Liars 'sisterworld' (deluxe 2x12, no cds) $15
Liars 'they threw us all in a trench and stuck a monument on top' (RE 180 gram) $15
Liars 'they were wrong, so we drowned' (2nd press) $15
Liars 'wixiw' (includes cd) $10
Loney Dear 'dear john' (180 gram) $10
Loney Dear 'loney, noir' (autographed) $15
Looper 'the snare' (belle & sebastion member) $7
M83 'dead cities, red seas & lost ghosts' (1st press, 2x12) $25
M83 'm83' (RE 2x12) $15
Major League 'there's nothing wrong with me' (hot topic exc, white w/maroon & yellow splatter wax) 500 $12
Man Overboard 'heart attack' (white w/green starburst wax, cd) 1300 $15
Man Overboard 'heavy love' (1st press, clear with sea blue & red splatter, includes cd) $10
Margot & The Nuclear So and So's 'birds/bubbleprick' 7" (#'d on clear gold wax, 100 pressed on yellow) 100 $65
Margot & The Nuclear So and So's 'birds/bubbleprick' 7" (#'d on black wax) #271/1000 $25 SOLD
Margot & The Nuclear So and So's 'prozac rock/fingertips' 7" (black wax & #'d) #356 $30
Margot & The Nuclear So and So's 'prozac rock/fingertips' 7" (black wax & #'d) #221 $30
Mark Kozelek 'live at biko' (2x12, sealed) 2000 $10
Matt Pond Pa 'the green fury' $10
Midlake 'antiphon' (gatefold sleeve w/poster) $12
Mike Viola 'lurch' (includes bonus 7". Vg/vg) 500 $30 SOLD
Mind Bomb 'do you need some' (10" single) $3
Minus The Bear 'interpretaciones del oso' (RE 2016 blue & gold wax) 1000 $13
Maker 'mirrors' (black wax) 100 $7
Monsterland 'peanut butter karma' 7" $3
My Morning Jacket 'chocolate & ice' ep (1st press, gold & chocolate swirl wax. Has a haze on vinyl) 1025 $10
Nick Piunti 'beyond the static' (transparent light blue wax) 250 $25
Noga Erez "off the radar" (sealed vmp exc #490/500 blue wax) $35
Noggin 'space needle' (hand screened front sleeve, sealed) 100 $10
Of Montreal 'aldhils arboretum' $15
Of Montreal 'coquelicot asleep in the poppies' (2x12) $15
Of Montreal 'daughter of cloud' (2x12 180 gram) $15
Of Montreal 'id engager' 7" $5
Of Montreal 'skeletal lamping' (2x12 180 gram w/pop up poster) $15
Ola Podrida 'belly of the lion' (member of papermoon) 250 $30
Oranger 'new comes & goes' (pink wax) $17 SOLD
Orton Socket '99 explosions' (pink with white swirl wax) 500 $6
Papercuts 'fading parade' (white marble wax) $10
Papermoons 'no love' (1st press trns red wax) 100 $15
Papermoons 'self titled' 7" (blue splatter) $5
Permanent Collection 'newly wednearly dead' (2nd pressing, milky clear wax, sealed) 500 $10
Pete Yorn 'back & forth' (sealed) $12
Photon Band 'easy pop art research' 7"' $4
Photon Band 'superstard/sitting on the sunn' 7" $4
Prefuse 73 'the only she chapters' (2x12) $10
Prefuse 73 'rivington nao rio/every coloforsyth gardens tripech' (3 records in this set of 3, 1 lp & 2 eps on colored wax) 100 $90
Quiet Company 'a dead man on my back' (2x12 white wax, signed by the band) $25
Red house painters "Ramon" (reissue). $15
Regina Spektor 'solviet kitsch' (rsd 2016, red wax with bonus 7" large hole) 3000 $25
Relient K 'air for free' (1st press, 2x12, white wax, No cover) $10
REM 'wendell gee' (UK 12" single) $8
Rodan 'how the winter was passed' 7" $4. SOLD
Rollerskate Skinny 'shoulder voices' (2nd press medical 180 gram red wax) $18 SOLd
sELF "porno, mint & grime" (2x12 colored wax) 2000. $26
Set Your Goals 'burning at both ends' (180 gram black wax) $10
Slow Runner 'new monsters' (slight warp but plays through) 300 $15
Son, Ambulance 'someone elses déjà vu' (2x12) $10
Sone 'sone' $7
Sonny & The Sunsets 'talent night at the ashram' (red wax) $15
Sound Sleeper 'a perfect sea for drowning' ep (150 gram cut @ 45rpm, hand numbered, 213 pressed in black wax) #194/300 $15
Spiritulized 'songs in a & e' (RE, 2x12 white wax) $15
Stay Ahead of the Weather "we better get goin', if we're gonna" 7" (white wax) 300 $10 SOLD
Strapping Fieldhands 'the caul' 10" ep $10
Superconductor 'bastardsong' (2x12, ac newman of the new pornographers) $19
Supreme Dicks 'the emotional plague' (2x12) $10
Swag 'catch-all' (hand numbered on the spindle label, members of wilco, sixpence none the richer, the mavericks, and cheap trick. VG sleeve) $15
Teenage Fanclub 'man-made' (RE) $12
Teenage Fanclub 'shadows' (180 gram) $12
Temples "sun structures" (black wax fat possum). $10
Tenement 'blind wink' (RE) $10
Tenement 'taking everything/daylight world' 7" ep (black wax) 390 $9
The 1975 'I like it when you sleep, for you are so beautiful yet so unaware of it' (CD signed sleeve by all 4 members, target exc.) $20
The Acorn 'no ghost' (180 gram, silk screened sleeve, transparent red wax) 300 $20
The Album Leaf 'in a safe place' (1st press city slang) $30
The Antlers 'undersea' ep (clear sea blue wax) 500 $35
The Ataris 'end is forever' (2nd pressing, hot topic exc red w/yellow) 1500 $10
The Besnard lakes 'the besnard lakes are the dark horse'' $10
The Besnard lakes 'the besnard lakes are the roaring night' $10
The Darcys 'warring' (180 gram) $12
The decemberists "what a terrible world" (Newbury exclusive on teal wax) 1000 $24 SOLD
The deathset "worldwide" $9
The Dismemberment Plan 'change' $19
The Drowning Men 'all of the unknown' (translucent gold wax) $10
The Elected 'bury me in my rings' $7
The Flaming Lips 'clouds taste metallic' (RE, RM 2011. Slight warp but plays well) $15
The Flaming Lips zaireeka' (4x12 colored wax) 7200 $25
The Helio Sequence 'the helio sequence' (die cut sleeve) $10
The Hotelier 'goodness' (1st press, 2x12, spins @ 45rpm, fawn & field wax) 725 $25
The Long Winters/Spiral Stairs split 7" (clear wax) $9 SOLD
The Long Winters 'ultamatum' 12" ep $13
The Mommyheads 'acorn' (1st press, fang records) $15
The Posies 'blood/candy' (180 gram w/poster) $15
The Replacements 'all shook down' (1st press, german 1990, skipping for a minute of track 1)) $25
The Shivas 'you know what to do' $10
The Sidekicks 'runners in the nerved world' (includes a cd) $10
The Weakerthans 'fallow' $17 SOLD
The Wonder Years 'no closer to heaven' (2x12, etched a/blue b/burgundy wax) 5050 $20
The Wrens 'secaucus' 100 $400
The wrens "napiers" 7" (white wax). $10
The Wytches 'crying clown' 7" $8
Thinking Fellers Union Local 282 'bob dinners and larry noodles' 1500 $20
This Time Next Year 'drop out of life' (1st pressing coke bottle clear was) 750 $10
Todd rundgren "something/anything" promo green & red vinyl. $100. SOLD
Toro Y Moi 'campo' 7" 300 $25 SOLD
Tristeza "a colores" 2x12 (jimmy from album leaf) 300. $45 SOLD
Tuns 'tuns' (includes members from sloan, super friendz & inbreds) $20
Uncle Wiggly 'jump back, baby' $10
Various "comp for mom" (red wax) #334/1075 $20
Vertical Scratchers 'daughter of everything' (lead singer of enon & guitarist from brainiac) $10
Vetiver 'complete strangers' $10
Von Hemmling 'jw kellogg' ep (single sided etched, elephant 6 collective) $10
Wavves 'king of the beach" (RE, glow in the dark wax newbury comics exc, SEALED) 750 $70 SOLD
We Shot The Moon 'love on' (yellow wax) 100 $20
Weaves 'weaves' (neon pink wax) $15
Wilco "schmilco" (pink wax) 7000. $17
Wingtip Sloat 'if only for the hatchery' 500 $10
Wondermints 'proto-pretty/silly place' 7" (transparent clear wax) 200 $20 SOLD
Woods 'at echo lake' $10
Woods 'sun and shade' $10
Woods 'with light and love' $15
Yo Gabba Gabba 'the super music friends show' (uo exc, 2x12 one orange & one yellow wax, gatefold sleeve, spins @ 45 rpm) #250 $40
Zammuto 'anchor' $15
Zeus 'classic zeus' (white wax) $10
Zookeeper 'pink chalk' (coke bottle wax, lead singer of mineral) 300 $6
Guided By VoicesGuided By Voices 'Donut For Snowman' 7" 1000 $5 SOLD
Guided By Voices 'Chocolate Boy' 7" (chocolate ) 1000 $10 SOLD
Guided By Voices 'Keep in Motion' 7" (usa, red) 1000 $5 SOLD
Guided By Voices 'Jon The Croc' 7" (usa, blue) 1000 $5 SOLD
Guided By Voices 'Class Clown' 7" (usa, clear) 1000 $5 SOLD
Circus Devils 'When Machines Attack' (SEALED) 700 $15
Circus devils "five" 1000. $30 SOLD
Circus devils "pinball mars". 500. $50 SOLD
Circus Devils 'My Mind Has Seen The White Trick' (SEALED) 700 $15
Circus Devils 'Escape' 500 $12
Circus Devils 'Stomping Grounds' 500 $25
Nightwalker 'Sponic' 7" ep (nightwalker) 1000 $10
Nightwalker 'firehouse mountain' 7" ep (smokey black wax) 1000 $10
Airport 5 'Life Starts Here' 500 $15
Teenage Guitar 'Force Fields at Home' (SEALED) 1000 $10 SOLD
Hazzard Hotrods 'big trouble' CD 1000 $10
Ricked Wickey 'I sell the circus' $10
Childrens Crusade 'scorpio moon' 7" #1341/1500 $5
2017.08.04 20:39 jimmarcucci [For Sale] indie, alternative, pop punk, electronic. Guided by voices, Margot & the nuclear so and so's, m83, liars, jagwar ma, diiv, doo rag, black moth, Alcoa, the 1975, archers of loaf, Boston Spaceships, temples, flaming lips, man overboard ++
Hi everyone! most everything below is in VG+ condition or better. Some are still sealed as well! I noted any flaws you would need to be aware of and will respond to any questions you may have. Media mail Shipping is $4.95 in the states for up to 2 records. Each additional record is .50 cents. Shipping to Canada is $16.95 for up to 2 records. Each additional record is $1.00. Shipping to everywhere else is $23.95 for 1 record. Each additional record is $4.00 Double albums count as 2 records for international shipping. The more you buy the better the deal so try to get as much as possible. I can not hold anything so its first come first serve. Please do not be afraid to make an offer if you see something I priced out of sight. I do not bite ;) I ship in proper mailers and have perfect feedback on ebay and discogs. NOT ONE negative experience in the last 18 years of selling online! My email is the best way to get to me: Lamb5aLL@comcast.net I accept google wallet or PayPal. Thanks!
Record Pressed Price
Actors & Actresses 'arrows' (gray with yellow haze wax, tour edition) 100 $10
Aeges 'the bridge' (pink & black swirl wax) 300 $15
Alcoa 'bone & marrow' (1st press, clear with black & grey smoke wax) 700 $14
Alcoa 'parlour tricks' (maroon wax) 2000 $5
All The Saints 'fire on corridor x' (white wax) $10
Aloha 'little windows cut right through' (180 gram) $15
Archers Of Loaf 'icky mettle' (RE, remastered, blue wax) 2000 $16
Ash 'ichiban' 7" (letter series G, etched b-side) 1000 $3
Ash 'pripyat' 7" (letter series F, etched b-side) 1000 $3
Astrobrite 'crush' (1st press transparent red wax) 300 $60 SOLD
Astrobrite 'crush' (1st press black vinyl) 300. $50
Athletics 'why aren't I home' (sea blue & silver, heat sensitive ink painted sleeve) 100. $100
Athletics 'who you are is not enough' (cup o joe, numbered and hand made sleeve) 150. $100 SOLD
Aurthur Baker featuring Tim Wheeler 'glow' 7" (lead singer of ash) $3
Autolux 'pussy's dead' (sealed, member of failure, SEALED) $19
Avid Dancer '1st bath' $10
Awolnation 'run' $10
Bahamas 'pink strat' $15
Band of Horses 'cease to begin' (1st press) $15
Barcelona 'not quite yours' (warped but plays all the way through) $20
Barnabys "delightful browns" ep $3
Beachwood Sparks 'beachwood sparks' (RE, limited blue wax) 500 $25
Beatnik Filmstars 'all pop stars are talentless slags' 10" $8
Beatnik Filmstars 'apathetic english swine' 7" $5
Beatnik Filmstars 'blue noize' 7" ep $5
Beatnik Filmstars 'bridegrooms' 7" ep $5
Beatnik Filmstars 'off white noize' 7" ep $5
Beatnik Filmstars 'pink noize' 7" $5
Beaulieu Porch 'the color 55' (purple marble wax) 300 $7
Birthmark 'antibodies' (white wax) 1000 $10
Black Moth Super Rainbow + The Octopus Project "the house of apples and eyeballs" (blue & white splatter wax) 1000 $18
Black Moth Super Rainbow 'cobra juicy' (white with orange splatter wax) $25 SOLD
Black Moth Super Rainbow 'eating us' (RE, grey wax) 1000 $20
Blitzen Trapper 'destroyer of the void' $12 SOLD
Boston Spaceships "our cubehouse still rocks" (sealed) $35
Boston Spaceships 'camera found the raygun' 7" ep. $25
Brendan Benson 'what kind of world' $12
Bright Eyes 'cassadaga" (RE 2x12) $17 SOLD
Bright 'full negative (or) breaks' (2x12, a/b black wax c/d clear wax, includes bonus cd of the miller fantasies) $10
Bright 'plymouth rock' 7" (royal blue wax) $3
Broken Spindles 'fullfilled/complete' (white wax) $10
Broken Spindles 'inside/absent' (white wax) $10
Bugskull 'communication' 300 $10
Butch Walker 'afraid of ghosts' (gatefold sleeve) $8
Candy Butchers/Mike Viola 'hang on mike' (2x12, sealed) 500 $65 SOLD
Catfish and the Bottlemen 'balcony' (gatefold sleeve) $15
Chavez 'ride the fader' (2nd press). $14
Comet 'chandeller musings' (the sleeve is in g condition) $10
Cookie Duster 'when flying was easy' (broken social scene members) $9
Cornershop 'wog' (12" single) $5
Cursive 'I am gemini' (with cd & 16 page booklet) $10
Daisyhead 'the smallest light' (1st press, flourescent yellow) 300 $12. SOLD
Dale Earnhardt Jr Jr 'patterns' ep (rsd 2013) 500 $8
Damon Albarn 'democrazy' (2x10", limited white wax & a picture disc, lead singer of blur & gorillaz) 5000 $24
Denison Witmer 'are you a dreamer' (cyls exclusive, black wax) 100 $10
Denison Witmer 'carry the weight' (yellow marble) $10
Desaparecidos 'payola' (translucent green wax) 2000 $20
Diiv 'is the is are' (captured tracks ed, 2x12, 32 page chapbook of art & poetry, 2x12 page art books, clear+white marbled w/blue&yellow, clear+white marbled w/pink&red wax) 500 $29
Diiv 'oshin' (tour ed, silk screened sleeve, hand numbered) #373/500 $30 SOLD
Doo Rag 'chuncked and muddled' (only sold on tour in 1994, stamp numbered) #469/500 $140
Dope Body 'kunk' $10
Dragoon 'this galaxy is but a nursery' (members from the grifters) $10
Dream Boat 'eclipsing' (features members from elephant 6) $8
Drug War 'aim high' 500 $8
Eiafuawn 'birds in the ground' (180 gram, sweeden import, clay parton from duster) 525 $25
Elliot Brood 'days into years' (1st press white wax with alternative screened sleeve) 500 $15
Enon 'hold on' (clear wax, hand screenprinted sleeve, inc. bonus 7") 500 $50
Erase errata 'other animals'. $7
Ex-Action Figures 'global kid' 7" $3
Fireworks 'we are everywhere' (1st pressing, yellow wax w/flexi) 200 $20 SOLD
Fireworks 'oh common life' (1st pressing orange hot topic exc) 700 $16
Fran Healy 'wreckorder' (180 gram, w/poster & download card, lead singer of travis, not flat but plays all the way through) $20
Freelance Whales 'diluvia' $15
Gem Club 'breakers' $7
Get Up Kids 'simple science' ep (vinyl collective exc, numbered baby blue wax 500 pressed) #937/2000 $20
Good Old War 'broken into better shape' $8
Good Old War 'come back as rain' 1000 $12 SOLD
Good Old War 'good old war' $12 SOLD
Grammatics 'double negative' 7" $4
Grammatics 'shadow committee' 7" $4
Grammatics 'the vague archive' 7" (white wax) 400 $4
Gruff Rhys 'american interior' (gatefold sleeve) $10
Gruff Rhys 'hotel shampoo' $30
Handguns 'angst' (1st press, white w/kelly green haze) 500 $15
Handguns 'life lessons'' (1st press, baby blue, milky clear, royal blue stripped ) 1600 $10
Headlights 'wildlife' $10
Heavy Drag 'sabana ghost' 350 $15
Hey Rosetta 'seeds' (cd included) $20
Holopaw 'academy songs vol 1' $12
Hooded Fang 'gravez' (red wax) 300 $22 SOLD
Horse Feathers 'so it, is with us' (clear wax) 200 $25
Hushdrops 'summer people/radio 1990' 7" 200 $10
Hushdrops 'transmission/miami rap/amelia airhead' 7" 200 $10
Into It Over It '(koji split, RE clear maroon wax) 500 $15
Jacob's Mouse 'rubber room' $18
Jagwar Ma 'another day in the sun' 12" single (dreams) 500 $8
Jagwar Ma 'the time and space time machine dub sessions' 12" $20
Jayhawks 'blue' 7" (promo single) $4
Jenny Mae 'there's a bar just around the corner, asshole' $10
Jesse Sykes & The Sweet Hearafter 'like, love, lust & the open halls of the soul' (2x12, no sleeve) $8
Joe Pernice 'it feels so good when I stop' $15
Joie De Vivre 'the north end' (1st press, halloween orange wax) 350 $20
Kizzy Hall 'a touch of kizz in the night' (green wax) #428/500 $10
Lcd Soundsystem 'lcd soundsystem' $17
Les Sins 'michael' (chaz from toro y moi) $12 SOLD
Liars 'sisterworld' (deluxe 2x12, no cds) $15
Liars 'they threw us all in a trench and stuck a monument on top' (RE 180 gram) $15
Liars 'they were wrong, so we drowned' (2nd press) $15
Liars 'wixiw' (includes cd) $10
Loney Dear 'dear john' (180 gram) $10
Loney Dear 'loney, noir' (autographed) $15
Looper 'the snare' (belle & sebastion member) $7
M83 'dead cities, red seas & lost ghosts' (1st press, 2x12) $25
M83 'm83' (RE 2x12) $15
Major League 'there's nothing wrong with me' (hot topic exc, white w/maroon & yellow splatter wax) 500 $12
Man Overboard 'heart attack' (white w/green starburst wax, cd) 1300 $15
Man Overboard 'heavy love' (1st press, clear with sea blue & red splatter, includes cd) $10
Margot & The Nuclear So and So's 'birds/bubbleprick' 7" (#'d on clear gold wax, 100 pressed on yellow) 100 $65
Margot & The Nuclear So and So's 'birds/bubbleprick' 7" (#'d on black wax) #271/1000 $25 SOLD
Margot & The Nuclear So and So's 'prozac rock/fingertips' 7" (black wax & #'d) #356 $30
Margot & The Nuclear So and So's 'prozac rock/fingertips' 7" (black wax & #'d) #221 $30
Mark Kozelek 'live at biko' (2x12, sealed) 2000 $10
Matt Pond Pa 'the green fury' $10
Midlake 'antiphon' (gatefold sleeve w/poster) $12
Mike Viola 'lurch' (includes bonus 7". Vg/vg) 500 $30
Mind Bomb 'do you need some' (10" single) $3
Minus The Bear 'interpretaciones del oso' (RE 2016 blue & gold wax) 1000 $13
Maker 'mirrors' (black wax) 100 $7
Monsterland 'peanut butter karma' 7" $3
My Morning Jacket 'chocolate & ice' ep (1st press, gold & chocolate swirl wax. Has a haze on vinyl) 1025 $10
Nick Piunti 'beyond the static' (transparent light blue wax) 250 $25
Noggin 'space needle' (hand screened front sleeve, sealed) 100 $10
Of Montreal 'aldhils arboretum' $15
Of Montreal 'coquelicot asleep in the poppies' (2x12) $15
Of Montreal 'daughter of cloud' (2x12 180 gram) $15
Of Montreal 'id engager' 7" $5
Of Montreal 'skeletal lamping' (2x12 180 gram w/pop up poster) $15
Ola Podrida 'belly of the lion' (member of papermoon) 250 $30
Oranger 'new comes & goes' (pink wax) $17 SOLD
Orton Socket '99 explosions' (pink with white swirl wax) 500 $6
Papercuts 'fading parade' (white marble wax) $10
Papermoons 'no love' (1st press trns red wax) 100 $15
Papermoons 'self titled' 7" (blue splatter) $5
Permanent Collection 'newly wednearly dead' (2nd pressing, milky clear wax, sealed) 500 $10
Pete Yorn 'back & forth' (sealed) $12
Photon Band 'easy pop art research' 7"' $4
Photon Band 'superstard/sitting on the sunn' 7" $4
Prefuse 73 'the only she chapters' (2x12) $10
Prefuse 73 'rivington nao rio/every coloforsyth gardens tripech' (3 records in this set of 3, 1 lp & 2 eps on colored wax) 100 $90
Quiet Company 'a dead man on my back' (2x12 white wax, signed by the band) $25
Red house painters "Ramon" (reissue). $15
Regina Spektor 'solviet kitsch' (rsd 2016, red wax with bonus 7" large hole) 3000 $25
Relient K 'air for free' (1st press, 2x12, white wax, No cover) $10
REM 'wendell gee' (UK 12" single) $9
Rodan 'how the winter was passed' 7" $4. SOLD
Rollerskate Skinny 'shoulder voices' (2nd press medical 180 gram red wax) $20
Set Your Goals 'burning at both ends' (180 gram black wax) $10
Slow Runner 'new monsters' (slight warp but plays through) 300 $15
Son, Ambulance 'someone elses déjà vu' (2x12) $10
Sone 'sone' $7
Sonny & The Sunsets 'talent night at the ashram' (red wax) $15
Sound Sleeper 'a perfect sea for drowning' ep (150 gram cut @ 45rpm, hand numbered, 213 pressed in black wax) #194/300 $15
Spiritulized 'songs in a & e' (RE, 2x12 white wax) $15
Stay Ahead of the Weather "we better get goin', if we're gonna" 7" (white wax) 300 $10 SOLD
Strapping Fieldhands 'the caul' 10" ep $10
Superconductor 'bastardsong' (2x12, ac newman of the new pornographers) $19
Supreme Dicks 'the emotional plague' (2x12) $10
Swag 'catch-all' (hand numbered on the spindle label, members of wilco, sixpence none the richer, the mavericks, and cheap trick. VG sleeve) $15
Teenage Fanclub 'man-made' (RE) $12
Teenage Fanclub 'shadows' (180 gram) $12
Temples "sun structures" (black wax fat possum). $10
Tenement 'blind wink' (RE) $10
Tenement 'taking everything/daylight world' 7" ep (black wax) 390 $9
The 1975 'I like it when you sleep, for you are so beautiful yet so unaware of it' (CD signed sleeve by all 4 members, target exc.) $20
The Acorn 'no ghost' (180 gram, silk screened sleeve, transparent red wax) 300 $20
The Album Leaf 'in a safe place' (1st press city slang) $30
The Antlers 'undersea' ep (clear sea blue wax) 500 $35
The Ataris 'end is forever' (2nd pressing, hot topic exc red w/yellow) 1500 $10
The Besnard lakes 'the besnard lakes are the dark horse'' $10
The Besnard lakes 'the besnard lakes are the roaring night' $10
The Darcys 'warring' (180 gram) $12
The decemberists "what a terrible world" (Newbury exclusive on teal wax) 1000 $24 SOLD
The deathset "worldwide" $9
The Dismemberment Plan 'change' $19
The Drowning Men 'all of the unknown' (translucent gold wax) $10
The Elected 'bury me in my rings' $7
The Flaming Lips 'clouds taste metallic' (RE, RM 2011. Slight warp but plays well) $15
The Flaming Lips zaireeka' (4x12 colored wax) 7200 $25
The Helio Sequence 'the helio sequence' (die cut sleeve) $10
The Hotelier 'goodness' (1st press, 2x12, spins @ 45rpm, fawn & field wax) 725 $25
The Long Winters/Spiral Stairs split 7" (clear wax) $9 SOLD
The Long Winters 'ultamatum' 12" ep $13
The Mommyheads 'acorn' (1st press, fang records) $15
The Posies 'blood/candy' (180 gram w/poster) $15
The Replacements 'all shook down' (1st press, german 1990, skipping for a minute of track 1)) $25
The Shivas 'you know what to do' $10
The Sidekicks 'runners in the nerved world' (includes a cd) $10
The Weakerthans 'fallow' $17 SOLD
The Wonder Years 'no closer to heaven' (2x12, etched a/blue b/burgundy wax) 5050 $20
The Wrens 'secaucus' 100 $400
The Wytches 'crying clown' 7" $8
Thinking Fellers Union Local 282 'bob dinners and larry noodles' 1500 $20
This Time Next Year 'drop out of life' (1st pressing coke bottle clear was) 750 $10
Todd rundgren "something/anything" promo green & red vinyl. $100. SOLD
Toro Y Moi 'campo' 7" 300 $25 SOLD
Tristeza "a colores" 2x12 (jimmy from album leaf) 300. $45 SOLD
Tuns 'tuns' (includes members from sloan, super friendz & inbreds) $20
Uncle Wiggly 'jump back, baby' $10
Various "comp for mom" (red wax) #334/1075 $20
Vertical Scratchers 'daughter of everything' (lead singer of enon & guitarist from brainiac) $10
Vetiver 'complete strangers' $10
Von Hemmling 'jw kellogg' ep (single sided etched, elephant 6 collective) $10
Wavves 'king of the beach" (RE, glow in the dark wax newbury comics exc, SEALED) 750 $70 SOLD
We Shot The Moon 'love on' (yellow wax) 100 $20
Weaves 'weaves' (neon pink wax) $15
Wilco "schmilco" (pink wax) 7000. $17
Wingtip Sloat 'if only for the hatchery' 500 $10
Wondermints 'proto-pretty/silly place' 7" (transparent clear wax) 200 $20 SOLD
Woods 'at echo lake' $10
Woods 'sun and shade' $10
Woods 'with light and love' $15
Yo Gabba Gabba 'the super music friends show' (uo exc, 2x12 one orange & one yellow wax, gatefold sleeve, spins @ 45 rpm) #250 $40
Zammuto 'anchor' $15
Zeus 'classic zeus' (white wax) $10
Zookeeper 'pink chalk' (coke bottle wax, lead singer of mineral) 300 $6
Guided By Voices 'Chocolate Boy' 7" (chocolate ) 1000 $10
Guided By Voices 'Keep in Motion' 7" (usa, red) 1000 $5
Guided By Voices 'Jon The Croc' 7" (usa, blue) 1000 $5
Guided By Voices 'Class Clown' 7" (usa, clear) 1000 $5
Circus Devils 'When Machines Attack' (SEALED) 700 $15
Circus devils "five" 1000. $30 SOLD
Circus devils "pinball mars". 500. $50 SOLD
Circus Devils 'My Mind Has Seen The White Trick' (SEALED) 700 $15
Circus Devils 'Escape' 500 $12
Circus Devils 'Stomping Grounds' 500 $25
Nightwalker 'Sponic' 7" ep (nightwalker) 1000 $10
Nightwalker 'firehouse mountain' 7" ep (smokey black wax) 1000 $10
Airport 5 'Life Starts Here' 500 $15
Teenage Guitar 'Force Fields at Home' (SEALED) 1000 $10 SOLD
Hazzard Hotrods 'big trouble' CD 1000 $10
Ricked Wickey 'I sell the circus' $12
Childrens Crusade 'scorpio moon' 7" #1341/1500 $5
submitted by jimmarcucci to VinylCollectors [link] [comments]
Record Pressed Price
Actors & Actresses 'arrows' (gray with yellow haze wax, tour edition) 100 $10
Aeges 'the bridge' (pink & black swirl wax) 300 $15
Alcoa 'bone & marrow' (1st press, clear with black & grey smoke wax) 700 $14
Alcoa 'parlour tricks' (maroon wax) 2000 $5
All The Saints 'fire on corridor x' (white wax) $10
Aloha 'little windows cut right through' (180 gram) $15
Archers Of Loaf 'icky mettle' (RE, remastered, blue wax) 2000 $16
Ash 'ichiban' 7" (letter series G, etched b-side) 1000 $3
Ash 'pripyat' 7" (letter series F, etched b-side) 1000 $3
Astrobrite 'crush' (1st press transparent red wax) 300 $60 SOLD
Astrobrite 'crush' (1st press black vinyl) 300. $50
Athletics 'why aren't I home' (sea blue & silver, heat sensitive ink painted sleeve) 100. $100
Athletics 'who you are is not enough' (cup o joe, numbered and hand made sleeve) 150. $100 SOLD
Aurthur Baker featuring Tim Wheeler 'glow' 7" (lead singer of ash) $3
Autolux 'pussy's dead' (sealed, member of failure, SEALED) $19
Avid Dancer '1st bath' $10
Awolnation 'run' $10
Bahamas 'pink strat' $15
Band of Horses 'cease to begin' (1st press) $15
Barcelona 'not quite yours' (warped but plays all the way through) $20
Barnabys "delightful browns" ep $3
Beachwood Sparks 'beachwood sparks' (RE, limited blue wax) 500 $25
Beatnik Filmstars 'all pop stars are talentless slags' 10" $8
Beatnik Filmstars 'apathetic english swine' 7" $5
Beatnik Filmstars 'blue noize' 7" ep $5
Beatnik Filmstars 'bridegrooms' 7" ep $5
Beatnik Filmstars 'off white noize' 7" ep $5
Beatnik Filmstars 'pink noize' 7" $5
Beaulieu Porch 'the color 55' (purple marble wax) 300 $7
Birthmark 'antibodies' (white wax) 1000 $10
Black Moth Super Rainbow + The Octopus Project "the house of apples and eyeballs" (blue & white splatter wax) 1000 $18
Black Moth Super Rainbow 'cobra juicy' (white with orange splatter wax) $25 SOLD
Black Moth Super Rainbow 'eating us' (RE, grey wax) 1000 $20
Blitzen Trapper 'destroyer of the void' $12 SOLD
Boston Spaceships "our cubehouse still rocks" (sealed) $35
Boston Spaceships 'camera found the raygun' 7" ep. $25
Brendan Benson 'what kind of world' $12
Bright Eyes 'cassadaga" (RE 2x12) $17 SOLD
Bright 'full negative (or) breaks' (2x12, a/b black wax c/d clear wax, includes bonus cd of the miller fantasies) $10
Bright 'plymouth rock' 7" (royal blue wax) $3
Broken Spindles 'fullfilled/complete' (white wax) $10
Broken Spindles 'inside/absent' (white wax) $10
Bugskull 'communication' 300 $10
Butch Walker 'afraid of ghosts' (gatefold sleeve) $8
Candy Butchers/Mike Viola 'hang on mike' (2x12, sealed) 500 $65 SOLD
Catfish and the Bottlemen 'balcony' (gatefold sleeve) $15
Chavez 'ride the fader' (2nd press). $14
Comet 'chandeller musings' (the sleeve is in g condition) $10
Cookie Duster 'when flying was easy' (broken social scene members) $9
Cornershop 'wog' (12" single) $5
Cursive 'I am gemini' (with cd & 16 page booklet) $10
Daisyhead 'the smallest light' (1st press, flourescent yellow) 300 $12. SOLD
Dale Earnhardt Jr Jr 'patterns' ep (rsd 2013) 500 $8
Damon Albarn 'democrazy' (2x10", limited white wax & a picture disc, lead singer of blur & gorillaz) 5000 $24
Denison Witmer 'are you a dreamer' (cyls exclusive, black wax) 100 $10
Denison Witmer 'carry the weight' (yellow marble) $10
Desaparecidos 'payola' (translucent green wax) 2000 $20
Diiv 'is the is are' (captured tracks ed, 2x12, 32 page chapbook of art & poetry, 2x12 page art books, clear+white marbled w/blue&yellow, clear+white marbled w/pink&red wax) 500 $29
Diiv 'oshin' (tour ed, silk screened sleeve, hand numbered) #373/500 $30 SOLD
Doo Rag 'chuncked and muddled' (only sold on tour in 1994, stamp numbered) #469/500 $140
Dope Body 'kunk' $10
Dragoon 'this galaxy is but a nursery' (members from the grifters) $10
Dream Boat 'eclipsing' (features members from elephant 6) $8
Drug War 'aim high' 500 $8
Eiafuawn 'birds in the ground' (180 gram, sweeden import, clay parton from duster) 525 $25
Elliot Brood 'days into years' (1st press white wax with alternative screened sleeve) 500 $15
Enon 'hold on' (clear wax, hand screenprinted sleeve, inc. bonus 7") 500 $50
Erase errata 'other animals'. $7
Ex-Action Figures 'global kid' 7" $3
Fireworks 'we are everywhere' (1st pressing, yellow wax w/flexi) 200 $20 SOLD
Fireworks 'oh common life' (1st pressing orange hot topic exc) 700 $16
Fran Healy 'wreckorder' (180 gram, w/poster & download card, lead singer of travis, not flat but plays all the way through) $20
Freelance Whales 'diluvia' $15
Gem Club 'breakers' $7
Get Up Kids 'simple science' ep (vinyl collective exc, numbered baby blue wax 500 pressed) #937/2000 $20
Good Old War 'broken into better shape' $8
Good Old War 'come back as rain' 1000 $12 SOLD
Good Old War 'good old war' $12 SOLD
Grammatics 'double negative' 7" $4
Grammatics 'shadow committee' 7" $4
Grammatics 'the vague archive' 7" (white wax) 400 $4
Gruff Rhys 'american interior' (gatefold sleeve) $10
Gruff Rhys 'hotel shampoo' $30
Handguns 'angst' (1st press, white w/kelly green haze) 500 $15
Handguns 'life lessons'' (1st press, baby blue, milky clear, royal blue stripped ) 1600 $10
Headlights 'wildlife' $10
Heavy Drag 'sabana ghost' 350 $15
Hey Rosetta 'seeds' (cd included) $20
Holopaw 'academy songs vol 1' $12
Hooded Fang 'gravez' (red wax) 300 $22 SOLD
Horse Feathers 'so it, is with us' (clear wax) 200 $25
Hushdrops 'summer people/radio 1990' 7" 200 $10
Hushdrops 'transmission/miami rap/amelia airhead' 7" 200 $10
Into It Over It '(koji split, RE clear maroon wax) 500 $15
Jacob's Mouse 'rubber room' $18
Jagwar Ma 'another day in the sun' 12" single (dreams) 500 $8
Jagwar Ma 'the time and space time machine dub sessions' 12" $20
Jayhawks 'blue' 7" (promo single) $4
Jenny Mae 'there's a bar just around the corner, asshole' $10
Jesse Sykes & The Sweet Hearafter 'like, love, lust & the open halls of the soul' (2x12, no sleeve) $8
Joe Pernice 'it feels so good when I stop' $15
Joie De Vivre 'the north end' (1st press, halloween orange wax) 350 $20
Kizzy Hall 'a touch of kizz in the night' (green wax) #428/500 $10
Lcd Soundsystem 'lcd soundsystem' $17
Les Sins 'michael' (chaz from toro y moi) $12 SOLD
Liars 'sisterworld' (deluxe 2x12, no cds) $15
Liars 'they threw us all in a trench and stuck a monument on top' (RE 180 gram) $15
Liars 'they were wrong, so we drowned' (2nd press) $15
Liars 'wixiw' (includes cd) $10
Loney Dear 'dear john' (180 gram) $10
Loney Dear 'loney, noir' (autographed) $15
Looper 'the snare' (belle & sebastion member) $7
M83 'dead cities, red seas & lost ghosts' (1st press, 2x12) $25
M83 'm83' (RE 2x12) $15
Major League 'there's nothing wrong with me' (hot topic exc, white w/maroon & yellow splatter wax) 500 $12
Man Overboard 'heart attack' (white w/green starburst wax, cd) 1300 $15
Man Overboard 'heavy love' (1st press, clear with sea blue & red splatter, includes cd) $10
Margot & The Nuclear So and So's 'birds/bubbleprick' 7" (#'d on clear gold wax, 100 pressed on yellow) 100 $65
Margot & The Nuclear So and So's 'birds/bubbleprick' 7" (#'d on black wax) #271/1000 $25 SOLD
Margot & The Nuclear So and So's 'prozac rock/fingertips' 7" (black wax & #'d) #356 $30
Margot & The Nuclear So and So's 'prozac rock/fingertips' 7" (black wax & #'d) #221 $30
Mark Kozelek 'live at biko' (2x12, sealed) 2000 $10
Matt Pond Pa 'the green fury' $10
Midlake 'antiphon' (gatefold sleeve w/poster) $12
Mike Viola 'lurch' (includes bonus 7". Vg/vg) 500 $30
Mind Bomb 'do you need some' (10" single) $3
Minus The Bear 'interpretaciones del oso' (RE 2016 blue & gold wax) 1000 $13
Maker 'mirrors' (black wax) 100 $7
Monsterland 'peanut butter karma' 7" $3
My Morning Jacket 'chocolate & ice' ep (1st press, gold & chocolate swirl wax. Has a haze on vinyl) 1025 $10
Nick Piunti 'beyond the static' (transparent light blue wax) 250 $25
Noggin 'space needle' (hand screened front sleeve, sealed) 100 $10
Of Montreal 'aldhils arboretum' $15
Of Montreal 'coquelicot asleep in the poppies' (2x12) $15
Of Montreal 'daughter of cloud' (2x12 180 gram) $15
Of Montreal 'id engager' 7" $5
Of Montreal 'skeletal lamping' (2x12 180 gram w/pop up poster) $15
Ola Podrida 'belly of the lion' (member of papermoon) 250 $30
Oranger 'new comes & goes' (pink wax) $17 SOLD
Orton Socket '99 explosions' (pink with white swirl wax) 500 $6
Papercuts 'fading parade' (white marble wax) $10
Papermoons 'no love' (1st press trns red wax) 100 $15
Papermoons 'self titled' 7" (blue splatter) $5
Permanent Collection 'newly wednearly dead' (2nd pressing, milky clear wax, sealed) 500 $10
Pete Yorn 'back & forth' (sealed) $12
Photon Band 'easy pop art research' 7"' $4
Photon Band 'superstard/sitting on the sunn' 7" $4
Prefuse 73 'the only she chapters' (2x12) $10
Prefuse 73 'rivington nao rio/every coloforsyth gardens tripech' (3 records in this set of 3, 1 lp & 2 eps on colored wax) 100 $90
Quiet Company 'a dead man on my back' (2x12 white wax, signed by the band) $25
Red house painters "Ramon" (reissue). $15
Regina Spektor 'solviet kitsch' (rsd 2016, red wax with bonus 7" large hole) 3000 $25
Relient K 'air for free' (1st press, 2x12, white wax, No cover) $10
REM 'wendell gee' (UK 12" single) $9
Rodan 'how the winter was passed' 7" $4. SOLD
Rollerskate Skinny 'shoulder voices' (2nd press medical 180 gram red wax) $20
Set Your Goals 'burning at both ends' (180 gram black wax) $10
Slow Runner 'new monsters' (slight warp but plays through) 300 $15
Son, Ambulance 'someone elses déjà vu' (2x12) $10
Sone 'sone' $7
Sonny & The Sunsets 'talent night at the ashram' (red wax) $15
Sound Sleeper 'a perfect sea for drowning' ep (150 gram cut @ 45rpm, hand numbered, 213 pressed in black wax) #194/300 $15
Spiritulized 'songs in a & e' (RE, 2x12 white wax) $15
Stay Ahead of the Weather "we better get goin', if we're gonna" 7" (white wax) 300 $10 SOLD
Strapping Fieldhands 'the caul' 10" ep $10
Superconductor 'bastardsong' (2x12, ac newman of the new pornographers) $19
Supreme Dicks 'the emotional plague' (2x12) $10
Swag 'catch-all' (hand numbered on the spindle label, members of wilco, sixpence none the richer, the mavericks, and cheap trick. VG sleeve) $15
Teenage Fanclub 'man-made' (RE) $12
Teenage Fanclub 'shadows' (180 gram) $12
Temples "sun structures" (black wax fat possum). $10
Tenement 'blind wink' (RE) $10
Tenement 'taking everything/daylight world' 7" ep (black wax) 390 $9
The 1975 'I like it when you sleep, for you are so beautiful yet so unaware of it' (CD signed sleeve by all 4 members, target exc.) $20
The Acorn 'no ghost' (180 gram, silk screened sleeve, transparent red wax) 300 $20
The Album Leaf 'in a safe place' (1st press city slang) $30
The Antlers 'undersea' ep (clear sea blue wax) 500 $35
The Ataris 'end is forever' (2nd pressing, hot topic exc red w/yellow) 1500 $10
The Besnard lakes 'the besnard lakes are the dark horse'' $10
The Besnard lakes 'the besnard lakes are the roaring night' $10
The Darcys 'warring' (180 gram) $12
The decemberists "what a terrible world" (Newbury exclusive on teal wax) 1000 $24 SOLD
The deathset "worldwide" $9
The Dismemberment Plan 'change' $19
The Drowning Men 'all of the unknown' (translucent gold wax) $10
The Elected 'bury me in my rings' $7
The Flaming Lips 'clouds taste metallic' (RE, RM 2011. Slight warp but plays well) $15
The Flaming Lips zaireeka' (4x12 colored wax) 7200 $25
The Helio Sequence 'the helio sequence' (die cut sleeve) $10
The Hotelier 'goodness' (1st press, 2x12, spins @ 45rpm, fawn & field wax) 725 $25
The Long Winters/Spiral Stairs split 7" (clear wax) $9 SOLD
The Long Winters 'ultamatum' 12" ep $13
The Mommyheads 'acorn' (1st press, fang records) $15
The Posies 'blood/candy' (180 gram w/poster) $15
The Replacements 'all shook down' (1st press, german 1990, skipping for a minute of track 1)) $25
The Shivas 'you know what to do' $10
The Sidekicks 'runners in the nerved world' (includes a cd) $10
The Weakerthans 'fallow' $17 SOLD
The Wonder Years 'no closer to heaven' (2x12, etched a/blue b/burgundy wax) 5050 $20
The Wrens 'secaucus' 100 $400
The Wytches 'crying clown' 7" $8
Thinking Fellers Union Local 282 'bob dinners and larry noodles' 1500 $20
This Time Next Year 'drop out of life' (1st pressing coke bottle clear was) 750 $10
Todd rundgren "something/anything" promo green & red vinyl. $100. SOLD
Toro Y Moi 'campo' 7" 300 $25 SOLD
Tristeza "a colores" 2x12 (jimmy from album leaf) 300. $45 SOLD
Tuns 'tuns' (includes members from sloan, super friendz & inbreds) $20
Uncle Wiggly 'jump back, baby' $10
Various "comp for mom" (red wax) #334/1075 $20
Vertical Scratchers 'daughter of everything' (lead singer of enon & guitarist from brainiac) $10
Vetiver 'complete strangers' $10
Von Hemmling 'jw kellogg' ep (single sided etched, elephant 6 collective) $10
Wavves 'king of the beach" (RE, glow in the dark wax newbury comics exc, SEALED) 750 $70 SOLD
We Shot The Moon 'love on' (yellow wax) 100 $20
Weaves 'weaves' (neon pink wax) $15
Wilco "schmilco" (pink wax) 7000. $17
Wingtip Sloat 'if only for the hatchery' 500 $10
Wondermints 'proto-pretty/silly place' 7" (transparent clear wax) 200 $20 SOLD
Woods 'at echo lake' $10
Woods 'sun and shade' $10
Woods 'with light and love' $15
Yo Gabba Gabba 'the super music friends show' (uo exc, 2x12 one orange & one yellow wax, gatefold sleeve, spins @ 45 rpm) #250 $40
Zammuto 'anchor' $15
Zeus 'classic zeus' (white wax) $10
Zookeeper 'pink chalk' (coke bottle wax, lead singer of mineral) 300 $6
Guided By VoicesGuided By Voices 'Donut For Snowman' 7" 1000 $5
Guided By Voices 'Chocolate Boy' 7" (chocolate ) 1000 $10
Guided By Voices 'Keep in Motion' 7" (usa, red) 1000 $5
Guided By Voices 'Jon The Croc' 7" (usa, blue) 1000 $5
Guided By Voices 'Class Clown' 7" (usa, clear) 1000 $5
Circus Devils 'When Machines Attack' (SEALED) 700 $15
Circus devils "five" 1000. $30 SOLD
Circus devils "pinball mars". 500. $50 SOLD
Circus Devils 'My Mind Has Seen The White Trick' (SEALED) 700 $15
Circus Devils 'Escape' 500 $12
Circus Devils 'Stomping Grounds' 500 $25
Nightwalker 'Sponic' 7" ep (nightwalker) 1000 $10
Nightwalker 'firehouse mountain' 7" ep (smokey black wax) 1000 $10
Airport 5 'Life Starts Here' 500 $15
Teenage Guitar 'Force Fields at Home' (SEALED) 1000 $10 SOLD
Hazzard Hotrods 'big trouble' CD 1000 $10
Ricked Wickey 'I sell the circus' $12
Childrens Crusade 'scorpio moon' 7" #1341/1500 $5
2017.04.05 09:38 PaladenConnery So Jesus Christ is over there trying to teach a stripper Hebrew.
Hey /talesfromsecurity, I wanted to share the time I saw a homeless jesus christ give money to strippers, as well as the time I threw said jesus christ out of the club. Sorry for any grammer mistakes or formating.
Alright, so my job position was internal security for a strip club. I was the guy that watches over the girls specifically, as well as the bar. There is a doorman, doing his thing, and normally a 3rd position that rotates outside. On this night there is no 3rd person, so as needed the internal guy, me, gets called for walkouts and random shit. It's a very slow night.
It's about 10pm, I'm radioed outside for a "Smoke disturbance" - which is a performer whom is being approached or bothered while smoking outside, so I exit the rear door and walk around the corner to the smoking area, some benches under cover with ashtrays. I find a homeless looking dude, young, wearing a crapton of layers of clothing, his backpacks obviously were how he lived, sitting on the bench closest to the front exit. Smelled like Melon Four Loco, like he had been drowning in it. "Good evening, If you don't have business with the club I must ask you to keep moving." I'm rather blunt, because many people try to hangout there and be creeps. Now I forget exactly word for word, but he said he had business with the club, and that he was just teaching a women Hebrew. Now at first, you always start at confusion. "What?" now that was my mistake boys, don't be stupid like me because I always fall trap here, I said what. He continues to tell me, he is traveling and educating others in Hebrew, and asked if I wanted to learn. "No. I want you to leave, you don't have business here." He then asks me if he can come into the club if he pays cover, I told him no and told him he smelled like alcohol and I don't like him, I can't be wasting time outside the building while my girls inside are unmonitored. We take it very seriously, somebody needs to watch the wigglys and jigglys, so me entertaining this dude is not worth another minute. I gave him the ol "I'm asking nicely, please leave.", I said it with conviction. The guy stands up and starts drunk apologising, he says his name is Jesus Christ and he's here to educate the people, and he will be on his way. So I watched him leave the property line and went back inside.
While I was gone, some guy on the 2nd floor said something dumb and some sort of argument ensued, and so I went up stairs and they were waiting for me. Immidately upon me walking up, the guy reconsiders whatever's going on and pays the girl. I haven't even said anything and the situation is difused. I asked the guy away from the girls what occured, and he said she was misleading and he just wants to avoid that one single performer. So I walk him downstairs and pair him up with a ladie he pointed out, win win this night will be over soon.
I turn around... And there's Jesus Christ, front row of the strip club wearing a suit. Tie, coat, tie bar, a full suit. I stopped exactly where I was and stared at him, it's Jesus alright, but he changed his cloths. Center chair, front row of the main stage with a performer getting a stage dance. Now last time I saw this guy, he was clearly homeless, complete with drunk ramblings about Hebrew. Now I just watched, that's what I do, and this crazy fucking homeless guy starts giving the stage dancers singles and talking at them. Couldn't hear what's being said, but he's talking... Dancer is not responding, shes doing her thing and Jesus puts down another single. At this point, the world froze. I've seen some shit boys, OD's, deaths, fights, shootings, warrants and many different Jesus christs, but this specific homeless Jesus Christ is giving money to a stripper. What the fuck am I watching, where the fuck am I?? He spends about $9 in singles on 3 dancers, not much but stage dances are mostly singles. He then gets up, goes into the back shady row, and orders a beer.
Now during this time I'm talking to my manager on the radio, this specific manager wants to know if I'm going to remove somebody prior to doing it if possible. But over the radio in a loud club he can't understand Jesus Christ has been drinking prior to entering and that's my reason. So because my manager has a since of humor, I think, he says "As long as he's drinking and buying dances he's not a problem, He seems alright(in reference to me saying he smelled like Loco). Against my wishes, my manager wants Jesus to stay, but he's on my list. So I watch. I watch as 2 girls approach to sell him dances and he refuses, the 3rd girl sits with him. I watch... They're talking... But I notice, the look on her face turn awful. I move within line of sight of the dancer, so she can see me behind him. She looks at me directly in the eyes with a look of horror, this is my job, I can tell when I'm needed but I must be careful. I approach them and inform the dancer that a manager is looking for her, "would you please come with me?" I intend my hand and she clings to my arm as we walk away. She says to me without any prompting "He says his name is Jesus, and that sinners drink alcohol, and wanted to pray with me, he started trying to teach me Hebrew, and sitting down was a mistake." These small moments are nice, builds trust as well as its fun to be the protector sometimes. She's explaining to the manager the WTF that just occured, and I'm reinforcing the "can I kick him out now?". My manager says no and points, there's another performer who fell for the trap and sat down. Except this time it's a performer the doormen don't like, she doesn't tip, leaves without escort which gets security in trouble, and a complete bitch. That too. We sat at the bar and laughed. She wasn't signaling me and I'm not taking the effort for a women who previously said mean things to me. Were enjoying the silent justice as bitchqueen gets a Hebrew lesson from Jesus. Well, Sunday night we lose at 12. Bitchqueen escapes the Hebrew lesson and by now the talk in the dressing room is "avoid that guy".
The night draws to a close, last call song, 3 songs, then the lights come on and you remove anybody still sitting. So I'm removing the last tables and there's Jesus Christ in the back, praying loud enough for me to hear him. I walk straight up to him and honestly I just stared in confusion, I guess I'm going to Hell for interupting prayer. "Time to go, stand up lets roll" initially he ignores me, so I place my hand on his shoulder and he stands up. Now things move quickly here folks, "Your a demon and Hell is where your going, and where you will be!" and he yells this, aggressively, with what I will call "angry tears". So at this point I really wanna get done, so close to going home. "Leave or I ruin your suit." honestly, were strip club bouncers not Wal-Mart greeters, were not required to be nice under these circumstances. "(weird yelling about going to hell)", so I'm 6'6" 300lb, he's a small super skinny 5'10" alcoholic featherweight. I grab his arm, bend, and push him from behind to towards to door. Just a good shove that says "This is the gentle way." on his way out, he goes from walking slow to bolting towards to bar, grabs an unopened beer, and attempts to run out the exit. The doorman, being a good doorman and manning the door, physically stops him, attempts grapple, but can't get the beer away.
There's the doormen at the door, Jesus Christ holding a beer, and me on the opposite side. He's sandwiched in the exit hallway. He's now yelling that we are demons who drink sin or something of the nature. He holds the bottle upside down and above his head, to hit somebody, but he can't look in both directions. Both of us take a step forward, he now has very limited breathing room between two large bouncers. He turns at me, doorman grabs him from behind and attempts to grab the bottle, as a result Jesus extends the bottle at me, so I swiped it right out of his hand. He turns his head to see who took the beer, and the other doorman lifts him off the ground. He's now at the exit door, clinging to the inside of the doorway like a cat about to take a bath. I briefly push, nope, this cat ant letting go. Why not punch him PaladenConnery? Because then your causing unneeded harm. I use knife hand to the ribs, he lets go. So, when I say he was thrown, he was thrown more than his height out of the door. The guy had airtime, probably a distance record for me. With both myself and the other guy pushing him, then letting go of all the pressure at once, he flew out the exit. The camera shows him getting airtime out the exit door. We immediately lock the doors behind him and turn around to a cartoon-esc staircase full of performers laughing at all the shit he was yelling. Mostly a lot of "You're going to Hell".
Now believe it or not, between me and the other doorman, I'm the diplomatic one. Right? That tells you why I'm now supposed to go outside rather then the other guy who's not so diplomatic. We are not able to walk girls to the cars, Jesus Christ is at the exit yelling threats. So I go outside, and I'm not kidding, "Jesus, listen, you have already shown me your a threat, if you won't leave, you will be fighting me and (notsodiplomaticfriend). I really want to be clear. Leave now, or you'll wish you did" and I'm trying to be big and scary and the dude starts crying. He randomly starts telling me his wife doesnt believe in "him", something about their baby, something about heaven and sin and whatever. So I drop the tough guy for a second. "Jesus, listen buddy, leave. Start walking. You will find your path, but if you stay, you will be hurt." and he cries more, and drunk apologises as he leaves.
I go back inside, I have a bunch of ladies that must be walked out individually one at a time, so I start, one at a time. The doormens position at this moment, is watching the camera right next to the door, watching me and able to let me back in. I walk out 4 ladies, and on the 5th, Jesus runs at us aggressively from off property. The performer locks herself in her car and I run at him, running at me, I shoulder chuck him pretty darn hard. He just tried to bull-rush a 300lb strib club bouncer. Bad Jesus. He's on the ground and starts apologising prior to me making a hole in the earth using his body, other doorman runs up behind me for backup. I yell and curse and threaten him with the other doorman until he bolts off. Bolts straight across a 4-lane street at full speed at what is now 1am.
That was the last time I was Jesus Christ, he's a durable guy. Obviously some drinking problems and mental health issues, but hey, what do you expect of Jesus.
I rarely get to tell the full story, I always have time for the front half or second half, but that is the story of the time I saw a homeless person give money to a stripper, and the time I ejected Jesus Christ from a strip club.
Next story: "Where the Hell did those 40 Drunk Australians get to?"
submitted by PaladenConnery to talesfromsecurity [link] [comments]
Alright, so my job position was internal security for a strip club. I was the guy that watches over the girls specifically, as well as the bar. There is a doorman, doing his thing, and normally a 3rd position that rotates outside. On this night there is no 3rd person, so as needed the internal guy, me, gets called for walkouts and random shit. It's a very slow night.
It's about 10pm, I'm radioed outside for a "Smoke disturbance" - which is a performer whom is being approached or bothered while smoking outside, so I exit the rear door and walk around the corner to the smoking area, some benches under cover with ashtrays. I find a homeless looking dude, young, wearing a crapton of layers of clothing, his backpacks obviously were how he lived, sitting on the bench closest to the front exit. Smelled like Melon Four Loco, like he had been drowning in it. "Good evening, If you don't have business with the club I must ask you to keep moving." I'm rather blunt, because many people try to hangout there and be creeps. Now I forget exactly word for word, but he said he had business with the club, and that he was just teaching a women Hebrew. Now at first, you always start at confusion. "What?" now that was my mistake boys, don't be stupid like me because I always fall trap here, I said what. He continues to tell me, he is traveling and educating others in Hebrew, and asked if I wanted to learn. "No. I want you to leave, you don't have business here." He then asks me if he can come into the club if he pays cover, I told him no and told him he smelled like alcohol and I don't like him, I can't be wasting time outside the building while my girls inside are unmonitored. We take it very seriously, somebody needs to watch the wigglys and jigglys, so me entertaining this dude is not worth another minute. I gave him the ol "I'm asking nicely, please leave.", I said it with conviction. The guy stands up and starts drunk apologising, he says his name is Jesus Christ and he's here to educate the people, and he will be on his way. So I watched him leave the property line and went back inside.
While I was gone, some guy on the 2nd floor said something dumb and some sort of argument ensued, and so I went up stairs and they were waiting for me. Immidately upon me walking up, the guy reconsiders whatever's going on and pays the girl. I haven't even said anything and the situation is difused. I asked the guy away from the girls what occured, and he said she was misleading and he just wants to avoid that one single performer. So I walk him downstairs and pair him up with a ladie he pointed out, win win this night will be over soon.
I turn around... And there's Jesus Christ, front row of the strip club wearing a suit. Tie, coat, tie bar, a full suit. I stopped exactly where I was and stared at him, it's Jesus alright, but he changed his cloths. Center chair, front row of the main stage with a performer getting a stage dance. Now last time I saw this guy, he was clearly homeless, complete with drunk ramblings about Hebrew. Now I just watched, that's what I do, and this crazy fucking homeless guy starts giving the stage dancers singles and talking at them. Couldn't hear what's being said, but he's talking... Dancer is not responding, shes doing her thing and Jesus puts down another single. At this point, the world froze. I've seen some shit boys, OD's, deaths, fights, shootings, warrants and many different Jesus christs, but this specific homeless Jesus Christ is giving money to a stripper. What the fuck am I watching, where the fuck am I?? He spends about $9 in singles on 3 dancers, not much but stage dances are mostly singles. He then gets up, goes into the back shady row, and orders a beer.
Now during this time I'm talking to my manager on the radio, this specific manager wants to know if I'm going to remove somebody prior to doing it if possible. But over the radio in a loud club he can't understand Jesus Christ has been drinking prior to entering and that's my reason. So because my manager has a since of humor, I think, he says "As long as he's drinking and buying dances he's not a problem, He seems alright(in reference to me saying he smelled like Loco). Against my wishes, my manager wants Jesus to stay, but he's on my list. So I watch. I watch as 2 girls approach to sell him dances and he refuses, the 3rd girl sits with him. I watch... They're talking... But I notice, the look on her face turn awful. I move within line of sight of the dancer, so she can see me behind him. She looks at me directly in the eyes with a look of horror, this is my job, I can tell when I'm needed but I must be careful. I approach them and inform the dancer that a manager is looking for her, "would you please come with me?" I intend my hand and she clings to my arm as we walk away. She says to me without any prompting "He says his name is Jesus, and that sinners drink alcohol, and wanted to pray with me, he started trying to teach me Hebrew, and sitting down was a mistake." These small moments are nice, builds trust as well as its fun to be the protector sometimes. She's explaining to the manager the WTF that just occured, and I'm reinforcing the "can I kick him out now?". My manager says no and points, there's another performer who fell for the trap and sat down. Except this time it's a performer the doormen don't like, she doesn't tip, leaves without escort which gets security in trouble, and a complete bitch. That too. We sat at the bar and laughed. She wasn't signaling me and I'm not taking the effort for a women who previously said mean things to me. Were enjoying the silent justice as bitchqueen gets a Hebrew lesson from Jesus. Well, Sunday night we lose at 12. Bitchqueen escapes the Hebrew lesson and by now the talk in the dressing room is "avoid that guy".
The night draws to a close, last call song, 3 songs, then the lights come on and you remove anybody still sitting. So I'm removing the last tables and there's Jesus Christ in the back, praying loud enough for me to hear him. I walk straight up to him and honestly I just stared in confusion, I guess I'm going to Hell for interupting prayer. "Time to go, stand up lets roll" initially he ignores me, so I place my hand on his shoulder and he stands up. Now things move quickly here folks, "Your a demon and Hell is where your going, and where you will be!" and he yells this, aggressively, with what I will call "angry tears". So at this point I really wanna get done, so close to going home. "Leave or I ruin your suit." honestly, were strip club bouncers not Wal-Mart greeters, were not required to be nice under these circumstances. "(weird yelling about going to hell)", so I'm 6'6" 300lb, he's a small super skinny 5'10" alcoholic featherweight. I grab his arm, bend, and push him from behind to towards to door. Just a good shove that says "This is the gentle way." on his way out, he goes from walking slow to bolting towards to bar, grabs an unopened beer, and attempts to run out the exit. The doorman, being a good doorman and manning the door, physically stops him, attempts grapple, but can't get the beer away.
There's the doormen at the door, Jesus Christ holding a beer, and me on the opposite side. He's sandwiched in the exit hallway. He's now yelling that we are demons who drink sin or something of the nature. He holds the bottle upside down and above his head, to hit somebody, but he can't look in both directions. Both of us take a step forward, he now has very limited breathing room between two large bouncers. He turns at me, doorman grabs him from behind and attempts to grab the bottle, as a result Jesus extends the bottle at me, so I swiped it right out of his hand. He turns his head to see who took the beer, and the other doorman lifts him off the ground. He's now at the exit door, clinging to the inside of the doorway like a cat about to take a bath. I briefly push, nope, this cat ant letting go. Why not punch him PaladenConnery? Because then your causing unneeded harm. I use knife hand to the ribs, he lets go. So, when I say he was thrown, he was thrown more than his height out of the door. The guy had airtime, probably a distance record for me. With both myself and the other guy pushing him, then letting go of all the pressure at once, he flew out the exit. The camera shows him getting airtime out the exit door. We immediately lock the doors behind him and turn around to a cartoon-esc staircase full of performers laughing at all the shit he was yelling. Mostly a lot of "You're going to Hell".
Now believe it or not, between me and the other doorman, I'm the diplomatic one. Right? That tells you why I'm now supposed to go outside rather then the other guy who's not so diplomatic. We are not able to walk girls to the cars, Jesus Christ is at the exit yelling threats. So I go outside, and I'm not kidding, "Jesus, listen, you have already shown me your a threat, if you won't leave, you will be fighting me and (notsodiplomaticfriend). I really want to be clear. Leave now, or you'll wish you did" and I'm trying to be big and scary and the dude starts crying. He randomly starts telling me his wife doesnt believe in "him", something about their baby, something about heaven and sin and whatever. So I drop the tough guy for a second. "Jesus, listen buddy, leave. Start walking. You will find your path, but if you stay, you will be hurt." and he cries more, and drunk apologises as he leaves.
I go back inside, I have a bunch of ladies that must be walked out individually one at a time, so I start, one at a time. The doormens position at this moment, is watching the camera right next to the door, watching me and able to let me back in. I walk out 4 ladies, and on the 5th, Jesus runs at us aggressively from off property. The performer locks herself in her car and I run at him, running at me, I shoulder chuck him pretty darn hard. He just tried to bull-rush a 300lb strib club bouncer. Bad Jesus. He's on the ground and starts apologising prior to me making a hole in the earth using his body, other doorman runs up behind me for backup. I yell and curse and threaten him with the other doorman until he bolts off. Bolts straight across a 4-lane street at full speed at what is now 1am.
That was the last time I was Jesus Christ, he's a durable guy. Obviously some drinking problems and mental health issues, but hey, what do you expect of Jesus.
I rarely get to tell the full story, I always have time for the front half or second half, but that is the story of the time I saw a homeless person give money to a stripper, and the time I ejected Jesus Christ from a strip club.
Next story: "Where the Hell did those 40 Drunk Australians get to?"
2015.03.25 23:42 Grivek Fire Emblem Awakening Lunatic+ Low Reset Run: Paralogue 4, Chapter 12 & Chapter 13
Previously:
Prologue & Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4 & Paralogue 1
Chapter 5
Paralogue 2 & Chapter 6
Chapter 7, Paralogue 3 & Chapter 8
Chapter 9, Chapter 10 & Chapter 11
We're just getting started on the Valm arc. This is the last stretch before the kid characters are unlocked and the game really opens up.
Paralogue 4: Anna the Merchant
I remember having an inordinate amount of trouble with this chapter on my first lunatic+ playthrough. Our units start very spread out across the bottom and the dense forest makes it difficult to move around. There are a whole lot of enemies that can get into attack range on turn one, so getting our squishy healers and Olivia to safety can be finicky. Enemies are cannon fodder for the most part but on lunatic+ even cannon fodder can roll Counter, or Luna+/Hawkeye, or Pass, and cause you difficulty.
Anna is found in the centre of the map. She's statistically quite a bit more competent than the enemies here but she starts surrounded and like all NPCS her AI doesn't understand Counter. It's possible for her to die on turn one if you don't Rescue her straightaway, in an old playthrough I remember trying to recruit her without a Rescue staff and having no success. She's an excellent utility unit that has staves, Locktouch and decent bases so we definitely want to keep her safe.
We deploy Fitzroy/Kellam, Sumia/Frederick, Chrom/Vaike, Cordelia/Libra, Lissa, Maribelle and Olivia. My general strategy here is to push into the southeast corner. Fitzroy starts off in one of the far west slots and will try to delay the west and central enemies from reaching our clump of units. The wiggly terrain and all the archers make it a little tricky for Sumia and Cordelia to work to their full potential, though both can take a Silver Bow to the face in a pinch. Chrom recruits Anna on turn 1 and pairs her so he can get into position. There really aren't a lot of safe spots turn one but Sumia, Chrom and Cordelia are able to get us some breathing room while Fitzroy distracts the other units.
These units are, almost to a man, far too weak for Sumia to not ORKO, which makes our previous strategy of 'peel and chip' less effective. Sumia is picking up 10XP/kill and started at 13.09, so she's going to have to kill around 20 units to hit level 15 here. There are only around thirty units on the map, so with the initial rush sorted Sumia dictates our pace. A Thief makes off with an Arms Scroll in the top right corner on turn 7. There's no way we'd be able to reach him while playing methodically enough to get enough EXP to Sumia.
All of the units surrounding Vincent and the NE Mage are pulled as a clump, but it's not too difficult since you can aggro Vincent through the west wall. Oh, and the units are all really bad, that helps too. We manage to feed Vincent to Chrom and he gets a good level out of it.
Turns: 20
Heroes: Frederick and Sumia
Resets: 0/4, I'm still not comfortable with turn one but it seemed to work out this time.
Levels
Sumia just managed to hit level 15 by the end of the chapter. Galeforce in hand, I toss her a Second Seal to deliver her from her terrible class. Dark Flier -> Great Knight gives some ridiculous boosts- +6 strength, -2Skl, -5Spd, +9 (!) defense and -6 Res. She's statistically similar to Fitzroy, but she has Galeforce. Impressive stuff, though we have been feeding her a ton of experience so we should expect great results. For the next few maps Sumia is most likely going to play the role of heavily armoured, Galeforce-powered doorstop while we get units like Cordelia and Chrom up to scratch.
Chapter 12: The Seacomers
I think it's generally agreed that the Valm arc is where Awakening's plot and map design start to fall to pieces. This is an aesthetically pleasing map with very little strategic depth; the map is full of mounts, they all charge you from the start, have fun. Densely-packed enemies can be tricky to handle on lunatic+ even if they're inferior quality due to proliferation of enemy skills like Counter, Pass, and Luna+/Hawkeye. Offensive strategies often find themselves at the mercy of bad enemy skill clumps so we'll be taking the easy way out. There's a one-tile wide chokepoint in the centre of the map, just north of our starting position- Sumia and Fitzroy are bulky enough to tank hits, Chrom is bulky enough to not get OHKOed, easy.
Our new recruit this map is Cherche. Cherche is a very poor combat unit who joins at an inopportune time, but I imagine her flight has the potential to be useful so we'll try keeping her alive. Not resetting if she dies though.
We mildly underdeploy here since the chokepoint is too small to allow for full deployment. We bring Chrom/Lissa, Sumia/Frederick, Fitzroy/Cordelia, Cherche, and Gaius. We could've ditched Cordelia and Gaius and simply paired Fitzroy/Cherche, but there's a trick that allows us to get Cherche to safety quite reliably and I wanted to build Fitzroy and Cordelia's support.
Thanks to Galeforce, we're able to occupy the central chokepoint on turn one. Sumia ORKOs the Beast Killer Knight to the north of our starter position, then Galeforces 2W 1N of the Knight into the one-tile choke and unequips. Lissa moves 1W of Sumia and then switches to Chrom. Fitzroy then moves 1W of Chrom and unequips. Chrom is now safe and sound, guarded on both sides by unbreakable units. He can chip down the entire map and should only find himself in trouble if he starts a 2-range counterkill chain.
Cherche pairs Gaius. Gaius moves to the east-most tile that isn't in enemy range, trades Cherche speed and defence tonics, and then switches. Cherche glugs a speed tonic. On the next turn, Cherche uses Gaius's movement boost to charge to the east-most tile that's 2S of the partition, unequips, and glugs a defence tonic. Two enemies attack her on enemy phase but it's quite unlikely that she'll be killed, no promoted units can reach her and she can take one Luna+ and one non-Luna+ hit. If both near enemies roll Luna+ then she and Gaius are acceptable losses but they don't so we're fine. On turn three, Cherche is able to fly to the northeast sea tile where she's completely unreachable.
Enemies in this chapter are still quite weak, but it's worth mentioning that this is one of the only maps where weaknesses other than flying-type weaknesses have the potential to be relevant. There's one Paladin to the southwest, two Cavaliers, and a Knight who all carry forged Beastkillers; the unpromoted enemies are usually too inaccurate or weak to be threatening without Luna+/Hawkeye but the Paladin's a threat. Chrom has C bows so the Renown Longbow is really useful here- he can pick off threatening enemies like the Beastkiller Paladin and randoms with Luna+/Hawkeye at 3-range, before they get the chance to attack Sumia or Fitzroy at 1-range.
Once all the Pass enemies are dead and Chrom's killed everything on their side Fitzroy and Cordelia are able to disengage from the choke and pick up some experience. Cordelia gets two more terrible levels for the pile but Chrom's the real hero here.
Turns: 46
Heroes: Chrom and Lissa
Resets: 0/4, and we were able to keep Cherche safe. I'll call that a success.
The chapter 12 shop is incredibly important since it sells Master Seals and Rescue staves in unlimited quantities. Rescue staves are cheap and versatile, and they also give wonderful experience; in fact, any staff user will gain >one level by chewing through a Rescue staff. In that way, Rescue staves are almost like infinitely buyable stat boosters, except they also let you pick up skills and build support points with units that you Rescue. Buyable Rescue was perhaps the single dumbest idea in Awakening. We buy fifteen right away, that's probably not enough. If you want a picture of the future, imagine a staffbot pointlessly Rescuing another staffbot- forever.
Levels
Chrom's strength growth started to falter near the end there but his other stats did just fine and I think he's cleaned up quite nicely.
Eleven more levels. Eleven more levels and we can either ditch Cordelia forever or reclass her into Falco and have her rescue spam until her stats are less bad. I'd like to get her XP next map but it's so dense with bows that we probably won't be able to feed her the whole thing.
Chapter 13: Of Sacred Blood
I'm always amazed at how unreasonable and unlikeable Chrom and Fitzroy come across in the negotiations with Validar. Yeah, he's obviously evil, but you guys are rude. Constant whispering, bad-mouthing the guy's religion, making a scene in front of the honoured guest- even when he graciously gives you tons of supplies and money.
As a rule, any chapter with readily accessible forts is going to be an easy chapter. This map also has a nice one-tile wide chokepoint in the southeast corner of the map, and since it's a reinforcement-heavy chapter it has low enemy density at the start. This makes positioning very simple, even if we didn't have fifteen Rescue staves to play with.
Henry joins in this chapter. He's terrible but the friendly terrain makes it easy to keep him safe. We deploy Chrom/Frederick, Fitzroy/Kellam, Cordelia/Sumia, Lissa, Maribelle, Libra, Anna and Olivia. Chrom moves to the central fort on turn one and blicks a Luna+/Hawkeye Fighter. On enemy phase, he gets surrounded by laughably weak unpromoted myrmidons and fighters; he'll stay like this for the rest of the map. The rest of our units move into the southeast corner, we're careful to keep them out of enemy range but that's quite easy with so many Rescue staves.
From there, we block off the choke with Fitz. Cordelia sallies out of the choke to attack and if she's likely to be in danger on EP we have a staff user Rescue her back. On turn 5 there's a Longbow Sniper reinforcement from the near NE fort but we're able to keep our squishiest units safe by having Lissa tank the blow. There's not much left to the map, Cordelia is able to peel units away from Chrom one at a time. Chrom doesn't quite ORKO promoted enemies or enemies with Aegis+, so he chips them for Cordelia to finish.
Turns: 39
Heroes: Fitzroy and Cordelia
Resets: 0/4
Levels
So close, and yet so far.
Chrom and Lucina have a touching CG reunion. I love how the CG is followed by the camera panning five feet over to see Fitzroy in a kilt, scowling, and Sumia picking flowers in full armour.
Lucina's bases:
Pretty impressive, I'd say. Lucina inherits Aether and Galeforce. Not quite sure if I should take her through Cavalier -> GK for skills or if I should just put her through Archer and have her build bow rank.
Oh, wait, Cynthia's paralogue is all the way over there? Rats, I thought it was on the main continent. This isn't ideal, I was hoping to do Cynthia's paralogue straight away and train Lucina in that.
In a tremendous and completely planned show of skill, Fitzroy and Cordelia hit S-support at the end of the chapter with the help of the renown Seed of Trust, and Severa's paralogue opens up a path to Cynthia's. When Cordelia is this bad all of her supports take this dark turn, the sombering story of a woman convinced she's a misunderstood genius and the supporting cast who indulges her delusion.
I guess that's our path laid out for us then. Pick up Cynthia, try to feed kills to Cordelia and the kids, then loop back to pick up Fitzroy's children once Cordelia hits 15.
submitted by Grivek to fireemblem [link] [comments]
Prologue & Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4 & Paralogue 1
Chapter 5
Paralogue 2 & Chapter 6
Chapter 7, Paralogue 3 & Chapter 8
Chapter 9, Chapter 10 & Chapter 11
We're just getting started on the Valm arc. This is the last stretch before the kid characters are unlocked and the game really opens up.
Paralogue 4: Anna the Merchant
I remember having an inordinate amount of trouble with this chapter on my first lunatic+ playthrough. Our units start very spread out across the bottom and the dense forest makes it difficult to move around. There are a whole lot of enemies that can get into attack range on turn one, so getting our squishy healers and Olivia to safety can be finicky. Enemies are cannon fodder for the most part but on lunatic+ even cannon fodder can roll Counter, or Luna+/Hawkeye, or Pass, and cause you difficulty.
Anna is found in the centre of the map. She's statistically quite a bit more competent than the enemies here but she starts surrounded and like all NPCS her AI doesn't understand Counter. It's possible for her to die on turn one if you don't Rescue her straightaway, in an old playthrough I remember trying to recruit her without a Rescue staff and having no success. She's an excellent utility unit that has staves, Locktouch and decent bases so we definitely want to keep her safe.
We deploy Fitzroy/Kellam, Sumia/Frederick, Chrom/Vaike, Cordelia/Libra, Lissa, Maribelle and Olivia. My general strategy here is to push into the southeast corner. Fitzroy starts off in one of the far west slots and will try to delay the west and central enemies from reaching our clump of units. The wiggly terrain and all the archers make it a little tricky for Sumia and Cordelia to work to their full potential, though both can take a Silver Bow to the face in a pinch. Chrom recruits Anna on turn 1 and pairs her so he can get into position. There really aren't a lot of safe spots turn one but Sumia, Chrom and Cordelia are able to get us some breathing room while Fitzroy distracts the other units.
These units are, almost to a man, far too weak for Sumia to not ORKO, which makes our previous strategy of 'peel and chip' less effective. Sumia is picking up 10XP/kill and started at 13.09, so she's going to have to kill around 20 units to hit level 15 here. There are only around thirty units on the map, so with the initial rush sorted Sumia dictates our pace. A Thief makes off with an Arms Scroll in the top right corner on turn 7. There's no way we'd be able to reach him while playing methodically enough to get enough EXP to Sumia.
All of the units surrounding Vincent and the NE Mage are pulled as a clump, but it's not too difficult since you can aggro Vincent through the west wall. Oh, and the units are all really bad, that helps too. We manage to feed Vincent to Chrom and he gets a good level out of it.
Turns: 20
Heroes: Frederick and Sumia
Resets: 0/4, I'm still not comfortable with turn one but it seemed to work out this time.
Levels
| Name | Class | Level | HP | Str | Mag | Skl | Spd | Lck | Def | Res | Weapon ranks |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Fitzroy | Bow Knight | 20/14/6.19 | 59 | 29 | 12 | 29 | 32 | 19 | 30 | 16 | A SWORD D BOW |
| Sumia | Great Knight | 20/15/1.00 | 54 | 29 | 8 | 32 | 32+2 | 30 | 24 | 20 | E SWORD A LANCE E AXE |
| Lissa | Sage | 20/10.78 | 39 | 13 | 27 | 24 | 27 | 25 | 13 | 16 | D TOME A STAFF |
| Maribelle | Troubadour | 17.92 | 26 | 0 | 13 | 13 | 12 | 15 | 4 | 16+2 | A STAFF |
| Chrom | Archer | 10/9.51 | 31 | 18 | 1 | 24+2 | 19 | 16 | 11 | 6 | C BOW |
| Cordelia | Dark Flier | 19/2.48 | 40 | 16 | 11 | 21 | 23+2 | 11 | 17 | 15 | A LANCE E TOME |
| Libra | War Monk | ??/4.27 | 42 | 17 | 17 | 15 | 16 | 13 | 14 | 18 | C AXE C STAFF |
| Olivia | Dancer | 7.22 | 22 | 7 | 2 | 11 | 14 | 9+4 | 3 | 3 | D SWORD |
Sumia just managed to hit level 15 by the end of the chapter. Galeforce in hand, I toss her a Second Seal to deliver her from her terrible class. Dark Flier -> Great Knight gives some ridiculous boosts- +6 strength, -2Skl, -5Spd, +9 (!) defense and -6 Res. She's statistically similar to Fitzroy, but she has Galeforce. Impressive stuff, though we have been feeding her a ton of experience so we should expect great results. For the next few maps Sumia is most likely going to play the role of heavily armoured, Galeforce-powered doorstop while we get units like Cordelia and Chrom up to scratch.
Chapter 12: The Seacomers
I think it's generally agreed that the Valm arc is where Awakening's plot and map design start to fall to pieces. This is an aesthetically pleasing map with very little strategic depth; the map is full of mounts, they all charge you from the start, have fun. Densely-packed enemies can be tricky to handle on lunatic+ even if they're inferior quality due to proliferation of enemy skills like Counter, Pass, and Luna+/Hawkeye. Offensive strategies often find themselves at the mercy of bad enemy skill clumps so we'll be taking the easy way out. There's a one-tile wide chokepoint in the centre of the map, just north of our starting position- Sumia and Fitzroy are bulky enough to tank hits, Chrom is bulky enough to not get OHKOed, easy.
Our new recruit this map is Cherche. Cherche is a very poor combat unit who joins at an inopportune time, but I imagine her flight has the potential to be useful so we'll try keeping her alive. Not resetting if she dies though.
We mildly underdeploy here since the chokepoint is too small to allow for full deployment. We bring Chrom/Lissa, Sumia/Frederick, Fitzroy/Cordelia, Cherche, and Gaius. We could've ditched Cordelia and Gaius and simply paired Fitzroy/Cherche, but there's a trick that allows us to get Cherche to safety quite reliably and I wanted to build Fitzroy and Cordelia's support.
Thanks to Galeforce, we're able to occupy the central chokepoint on turn one. Sumia ORKOs the Beast Killer Knight to the north of our starter position, then Galeforces 2W 1N of the Knight into the one-tile choke and unequips. Lissa moves 1W of Sumia and then switches to Chrom. Fitzroy then moves 1W of Chrom and unequips. Chrom is now safe and sound, guarded on both sides by unbreakable units. He can chip down the entire map and should only find himself in trouble if he starts a 2-range counterkill chain.
Cherche pairs Gaius. Gaius moves to the east-most tile that isn't in enemy range, trades Cherche speed and defence tonics, and then switches. Cherche glugs a speed tonic. On the next turn, Cherche uses Gaius's movement boost to charge to the east-most tile that's 2S of the partition, unequips, and glugs a defence tonic. Two enemies attack her on enemy phase but it's quite unlikely that she'll be killed, no promoted units can reach her and she can take one Luna+ and one non-Luna+ hit. If both near enemies roll Luna+ then she and Gaius are acceptable losses but they don't so we're fine. On turn three, Cherche is able to fly to the northeast sea tile where she's completely unreachable.
Enemies in this chapter are still quite weak, but it's worth mentioning that this is one of the only maps where weaknesses other than flying-type weaknesses have the potential to be relevant. There's one Paladin to the southwest, two Cavaliers, and a Knight who all carry forged Beastkillers; the unpromoted enemies are usually too inaccurate or weak to be threatening without Luna+/Hawkeye but the Paladin's a threat. Chrom has C bows so the Renown Longbow is really useful here- he can pick off threatening enemies like the Beastkiller Paladin and randoms with Luna+/Hawkeye at 3-range, before they get the chance to attack Sumia or Fitzroy at 1-range.
Once all the Pass enemies are dead and Chrom's killed everything on their side Fitzroy and Cordelia are able to disengage from the choke and pick up some experience. Cordelia gets two more terrible levels for the pile but Chrom's the real hero here.
Turns: 46
Heroes: Chrom and Lissa
Resets: 0/4, and we were able to keep Cherche safe. I'll call that a success.
The chapter 12 shop is incredibly important since it sells Master Seals and Rescue staves in unlimited quantities. Rescue staves are cheap and versatile, and they also give wonderful experience; in fact, any staff user will gain >one level by chewing through a Rescue staff. In that way, Rescue staves are almost like infinitely buyable stat boosters, except they also let you pick up skills and build support points with units that you Rescue. Buyable Rescue was perhaps the single dumbest idea in Awakening. We buy fifteen right away, that's probably not enough. If you want a picture of the future, imagine a staffbot pointlessly Rescuing another staffbot- forever.
Levels
| Name | Class | Level | HP | Str | Mag | Skl | Spd | Lck | Def | Res | Weapon ranks |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Fitzroy | Bow Knight | 20/14/7.12 | 60 | 29 | 13 | 29 | 32 | 19 | 30 | 16 | A SWORD C BOW |
| Sumia | Great Knight | 20/15/1.82 | 54 | 29 | 8 | 32 | 32+2 | 30 | 24 | 20 | E SWORD A LANCE E AXE |
| Lissa | Sage | 20/12.41 | 41 | 13 | 27 | 25 | 29 | 27 | 13 | 16 | D TOME A STAFF |
| Chrom | Sniper | 10/18/1.09 | 45 | 23 | 3 | 33+2 | 28 | 24 | 20 | 11 | A BOW |
| Cordelia | Dark Flier | 19/4.13 | 42 | 16 | 12 | 23 | 24+2 | 13 | 18 | 17 | A LANCE E TOME |
Chrom's strength growth started to falter near the end there but his other stats did just fine and I think he's cleaned up quite nicely.
Eleven more levels. Eleven more levels and we can either ditch Cordelia forever or reclass her into Falco and have her rescue spam until her stats are less bad. I'd like to get her XP next map but it's so dense with bows that we probably won't be able to feed her the whole thing.
Chapter 13: Of Sacred Blood
I'm always amazed at how unreasonable and unlikeable Chrom and Fitzroy come across in the negotiations with Validar. Yeah, he's obviously evil, but you guys are rude. Constant whispering, bad-mouthing the guy's religion, making a scene in front of the honoured guest- even when he graciously gives you tons of supplies and money.
As a rule, any chapter with readily accessible forts is going to be an easy chapter. This map also has a nice one-tile wide chokepoint in the southeast corner of the map, and since it's a reinforcement-heavy chapter it has low enemy density at the start. This makes positioning very simple, even if we didn't have fifteen Rescue staves to play with.
Henry joins in this chapter. He's terrible but the friendly terrain makes it easy to keep him safe. We deploy Chrom/Frederick, Fitzroy/Kellam, Cordelia/Sumia, Lissa, Maribelle, Libra, Anna and Olivia. Chrom moves to the central fort on turn one and blicks a Luna+/Hawkeye Fighter. On enemy phase, he gets surrounded by laughably weak unpromoted myrmidons and fighters; he'll stay like this for the rest of the map. The rest of our units move into the southeast corner, we're careful to keep them out of enemy range but that's quite easy with so many Rescue staves.
From there, we block off the choke with Fitz. Cordelia sallies out of the choke to attack and if she's likely to be in danger on EP we have a staff user Rescue her back. On turn 5 there's a Longbow Sniper reinforcement from the near NE fort but we're able to keep our squishiest units safe by having Lissa tank the blow. There's not much left to the map, Cordelia is able to peel units away from Chrom one at a time. Chrom doesn't quite ORKO promoted enemies or enemies with Aegis+, so he chips them for Cordelia to finish.
Turns: 39
Heroes: Fitzroy and Cordelia
Resets: 0/4
Levels
| Name | Class | Level | HP | Str | Mag | Skl | Spd | Lck | Def | Res | Weapon ranks |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Fitzroy | Bow Knight | 20/14/8.04 | 61 | 30 | 13 | 29 | 33 | 20 | 31 | 17 | A SWORD C BOW |
| Sumia | Great Knight | 20/15/2.14 | 55 | 29 | 8 | 32 | 33+2 | 31 | 25 | 20 | E SWORD A LANCE E AXE |
| Lissa | Sage | 20/16.41 | 44 | 13 | 28+5 | 27 | 31 | 29 | 14 | 17 | D TOME A STAFF |
| Maribelle | Valkyrie | 20/4.32 | 32 | 5 | 18 | 18 | 18 | 20 | 7 | 22+2 | E TOME A STAFF |
| Chrom | Sniper | 10/18/3.17 | 46 | 24 | 3 | 33+2 | 30 | 25 | 22 | 12 | A BOW |
| Cordelia | Dark Flier | 19/10.80 | 47 | 19 | 12 | 27 | 28+2 | 16 | 18 | 21 | A LANCE D TOME |
| Libra | War Monk | ??/9.62 | 48 | 19 | 20 | 18 | 17 | 16 | 18 | 19 | C AXE B STAFF |
| Olivia | Dancer | 12.98 | 26 | 8 | 2 | 15 | 17 | 11+4 | 5 | 5 | D SWORD |
So close, and yet so far.
Chrom and Lucina have a touching CG reunion. I love how the CG is followed by the camera panning five feet over to see Fitzroy in a kilt, scowling, and Sumia picking flowers in full armour.
Lucina's bases:
| Name | Class | Level | HP | Str | Mag | Skl | Spd | Lck | Def | Res | Weapon ranks |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Lucina | Lord | 10.00 | 38 | 18 | 4 | 24 | 25 | 23 | 14 | 11 | C SWORD |
Pretty impressive, I'd say. Lucina inherits Aether and Galeforce. Not quite sure if I should take her through Cavalier -> GK for skills or if I should just put her through Archer and have her build bow rank.
Oh, wait, Cynthia's paralogue is all the way over there? Rats, I thought it was on the main continent. This isn't ideal, I was hoping to do Cynthia's paralogue straight away and train Lucina in that.
In a tremendous and completely planned show of skill, Fitzroy and Cordelia hit S-support at the end of the chapter with the help of the renown Seed of Trust, and Severa's paralogue opens up a path to Cynthia's. When Cordelia is this bad all of her supports take this dark turn, the sombering story of a woman convinced she's a misunderstood genius and the supporting cast who indulges her delusion.
I guess that's our path laid out for us then. Pick up Cynthia, try to feed kills to Cordelia and the kids, then loop back to pick up Fitzroy's children once Cordelia hits 15.
2014.11.11 07:36 wuG06 [PLAYLIST TUESDAY] Dance Party
Not a dancer? Let's learn:
Let's Go!
Youtube Playlist
Spotify Browser
Spotify App: spotify:user:r%21en:playlist:4SnPJFtBVtXHMg1QruIIMF
- copy and paste this into your address bar (make sure not to search), or you can search for it on spotify.
- We're starting out simple here. Some nice drums and a killer bass line should get your toes tapping and head bobbing.
- Now that you're all on the dance floor by now, lets keep you there. Lots of percussive sounds lay the foundation for the track with some nice organ-like synths to keep you on your toes. One of the longer tracks on the playlist, and has good buildup.
- Time for a change of pace. French! If you're wondering: what is this fun song about? don't worry, it's sex.
- Facts are facts and fiction's fiction! A good consistent kick drum and some interesting synth work in the back makes for a great song to dance to.
- There's been a real lack of funk, hasn't there? Some nice brass and a couple of flute sections will get ya moving.
- Let's get bleep bloopy. Sbtrkt does well to create those danceable blips and Jessie Ware will seduce.
- (If you're following along on youtube, the video provides a nice one minute intro to let you catch you're breath) There hasn't been too many guitars has there. Great song for all of the self conscious dancers out there. "Am I freak for dancing around?" Spoiler Alert: the booty don't lie. Erykah Badu provides a nice little section to help you cool off a bit.
- I love this song, too much fun.
- The second A Certain Ratio song on here. Starts off pretty dark and gloomy until around the 30 second mark, when the percussion comes alive. The bass line is absolutely commanding.
- Mmmm, that opening synth line takes me over. Some simple drum beats laid on top create a great tune here. (Some more french on here. not about sex this time)
- The beat here starts off pretty wet. Some high synth come in which really creates a nice contrast. The "Take it out on me" part will really get you moving.
- Certainly the darkest song on the playlist. The song features a pressing bass line, and various pulsating screeching synths. It's getting late on the dance floor, this will add some some energy to your feet.
- Who said hip-hop has the best diss tracks? What about french dance pop? Well, I only have one example, but who cares? The chorus here talks about Cuizinier(some dude) having a tiny dick among other things. . .Anyways! Regardless of lyrics this song is great to dance to.
- Everything's great here. The opening drums, to whatever that woodwind is (piccolo? idk), and the nice guitar and bass. Very nice instrumental song that has some new sounds to transition into the final stretch.
- First song from the /indieheads essentials. Some sick drums and that repeated piano chord will make your body move. I absolutely love the vocal melody at 4:06 "You can normalize don't it make you feel alive"; it is so damn catchy. And then the beat that breaks at 5:10 during "get innocuous". I dare you to stand still and listen to this song all the way through.
- A short one here between two ~7 minute long songs. Simple repetitive lyrics and wonderful synth work creates a slower tune to give a small cool down before the last song.
- Here we are, the longest, and last song. La Roux is back to finish things off, and guess what? we've got another wonderful bass line to take us to the end. I'm sure you're all tired by now; you've burned a bunch of carbs. A long outro here means you can get out once all your energy is gone, and before I turn all the lights back on.