Calgon take me away to college contest

The unknown of the paranormal, does it really exist? It's something I've wondered about for years. I've never had any paranormal experiences that made me 100% believe in it, until last week, when I managed to have a conversation with one. Generally, I have always been quite skeptical about this subject. I have always tried to find an explanation for everything that happened to me, but sometimes not even science can explain certain phenomena.
Before telling you about the experience that changed my life, I would like to introduce myself. My name is Luca and I am a bit introverted. I have never liked to socialize with people, although luckily I still have some friends I've had since elementary school. Without them I would probably be completely alone; they are just as geeky as I am, so they have never judged me for my weird tastes.
April 7th came around, my friend Rick's birthday, and we decided to celebrate it at Mia's house, an old classmate of mine who had a pretty big house on the outskirts of the city, with a garden and a swimming pool. I met up with my friend Thomas (we call him Thom) to go to the birthday party together. The party was fine, nothing more. In the end, we were four lifelong friends tired of making the same plans every day.
It was getting dark, so I brought up the subject of the paranormal to scare them a little. I love seeing their shocked faces as they tell horror stories. Mia told us that her father is fascinated by this world and has sometimes done research on it. After a few hours of chatting and debating about the existence of the paranormal, we were so excited that we decided to go to an abandoned hospital near Mia's house. Before we left, Mia picked up a Spirit Box her father had from the investigations. I thought they hadn't taken the plan to investigate that hospital seriously, but in the end we all wanted to know the answer to a question that none of us knew the answer to.
We arrived at the hospital, and I must stress that it was a cold and silent night. We walked in and the four of us were quite frightened. We didn't dare go up to the second floor, as everything was in very bad condition and there were even dangerous holes in the floor. Mia turned on the Spirit Box to see if it would pick up any spirits. We started asking questions to see if any being from beyond would answer us, but nothing. After about 40 minutes with no answers, we plucked up the courage to investigate the hospital a little further. I noticed that there was a hole in the wall that led down a flight of stairs, as if there was a subway floor. I poked my head through the hole and saw a sign that said "Morgue" and a down arrow pointing to the stairs. I convinced everyone to go down to see if we could pick up anything paranormal in that morgue.
As we walked down those stairs, the cold increased so much that it made my skin crawl. When we got to some sort of completely trashed room, we turned on the Spirit Box. We started to say "Hello? Is anyone here?" and it didn't take long to get a response. From the device a voice began to be heard that seemed to mimic us, a deep voice that said "Who am I contacting?" and we replied, "We are Luca, Mia, Rick and Thom. Who are you?" the voice replied, with a somber echo, "I am he who dwells among shadows." We looked at each other in disbelief and fear, unable to process what we had just heard.
Rick, trying to remain calm, asked, "Why are you here?"
The voice was silent for a few moments and then said, "Because you called me."
The temperature dropped even lower, and I could see my breath in the air. Mia, her face pale, tried to unplug the Spirit Box, but the device continued to work. The voice continued, "I've been waiting...for a long time."
We were starting to get nervous. Thom, always the most rational of the group, tried to find a logical explanation. "This must be interference or something," he muttered. But even he seemed less sure than usual.
Mia, with a tremor in her voice, asked, "What do you want from us?"
"I want... freedom," the voice replied. "You guys must help me get out of here."
We began to hear footsteps, as if someone was approaching, though we couldn't see anyone. Suddenly, Rick gasped and fell to the ground, holding his head. "It's in my mind! It's trying to get in!"
We helped Rick to his feet, but his face reflected a terror we had never seen before. "He knows things about us," Rick muttered, "things we've never told."
We decided enough was enough and started backing toward the stairs. However, the voice didn't let us go easily. "You can't run away from me. We're connected now."
Mia, desperate, shouted, "What do you want from us?"
"I want... to be one with you," the voice replied with a ghoulish laugh. "I want to experience what you call life."
At that moment, something strange happened. I felt as if an invisible force was pushing me forward, separating me from the group. The others seemed to be experiencing the same thing. The darkness of the morgue seemed to envelop us, as if we were being absorbed by it.
Then everything went black.
When I woke up, I was in the garden of Mia's house. The others were there too, but something had changed. We looked at each other with a sense of strangeness, as if we were no longer ourselves. Rick had an expression on his face that was not his own, and Mia and Thom looked just as puzzled.
Suddenly, a voice spoke from inside my head. "We are now one."
I understood then: the spirit hadn't been trying to contact us. It had been trying to possess us. We had become the hosts of that entity.
Days passed, then weeks, and I began to realize that we were not the same. We had memories and thoughts that were not ours. Strange behaviors began to emerge, as if we were being influenced by an outside presence.
Finally, the truth was revealed. As we investigated more about the abandoned hospital and the Spirit Box, we discovered that the voice was not just any spirit, but an ancient entity seeking reincarnation in the living. And now, that entity was part of us.
Over time, we began to lose more and more control over our own bodies and minds. The entity was winning, and we were disappearing.
The real horror was not what we found in the hospital, but what we brought back with us. There was no escape. We were no longer ourselves, but mere fragments of an ancient darkness that had found its new home in our souls.
And so, the unknown of the paranormal was not only answered, but became our reality, a reality from which we could never escape.

Asked a coworker out.
P.S. both of us are interns and not permanent employees, we will be leaving the organization within 2 months.
We are both 19, in the same college, and interning in the same company. She had once mentioned that she'd like to go out for drinks with me, in a group setting. I said yes, and then she joked, "Easy to convince" Then I said, "who said I drink alcohol?" Playful banter.
^ this is just the back drop, the above convo happened on another day.
Whenever we look at each other, she smiles. I also find her laughing at times at silly things, sometimes not so funny things that I say.
Today, we were chatting in the office and I noticed her flipping hair and smiling while we were talking as I was saying something. She asked me if i want to take photos next to the company banner, and I said yes. I took her photos, and then she took mine. She said I looked smart and good.
Sometime later she even playfully hit me on my arm joking about something.
Anyways, as she was out of the office, we were speaking over call and she had closed a deal. I said, "wonderful, now you have a coffee" She said, "done"
Sometime later I texted her and said, '2nd round is on me if you buy me the first cup of coffee this Saturday😌'
Its been almost 7 hours, and she has not responded. This is unusual.

I'm gonna try to make this sound as least self depreciating as possible.
For a little back story after my dad died I moved in with a friend from highschool and her mom Sally (names changed). It was supposed to be just for a few weeks until I figured something out but I kinda just never left (lol) Over the years we became closer and we see each other as family. The "problem" (for lack of a better word) with that is that they only see the good things in me. This is something I generally appreciate and was a great thing to have in my life. But they take all of my good qualities and believe that it should transfer well to me attracting and dating women. And on paper in a way it makes sense, I'm not going to list all of my good qualities cause it makes me feel wierd. But I'm told I'm a great guy.
However I'm bad with relationships. Growing up every relationship iv ever seen has been almost transactional at best, and borderline abusive at worse. My dad had a tendency to date women that would let us live with them. And my birth mother could be pretty manipulative and never got over my father. My siblings had similar problems in there lives, having children young and generally having really bad times in life. I've had several partners growing up in all of those relationships I find myself starting out with good intentions, like I really want to be a good boyfriend, but eventually I find myself hurting or manipulating my partners, Almost "getting bored" of them, then love bombing them to compensate for those feelings. And generally showing these flaws that I hate about my birth family. I'm almost sure that if it wasn't for my religious celibacy I would be a dad by now and I hate that.
Sorry I'm kinda rambling rn, the short of this is that when I'm in relationships I hurt my partner, I don't like hurting people but I can't stop, I show several narcissistic behaviors when dating and it's better if I'm just single, at least for now. Now I know it's just in a mom's nature to want there children to get a partner and eventually start a family. And since I left for college and gotten more stable in life she has been pushing harder for me to get out there and find someone. This makes me irritated as I have told pretty much everyone that I'm good and thriving being single. I also realize that her comments are based on love and I don't want to be mad about that. I also don't want to make it seem like I'm throwing that love back in her face, when all she wants is the best for me. I just want these comments to stop.
How an I tell her I'm not a good boyfriend without having another conversation about her trying to convince me that I am. That is not something I can except, at least right now and I don't want her to feel bad.

TL/DR: The next-door neighbor lady began throwing stuff over our new fence while she was cutting grass last Summer. She is doing it again this year. Today, I yelled at her through my Ring camera, she didn’t hear me, or she pretended she didn’t hear me. The stuff she has thrown, has usually always been along the fence line. But today, I saw she did it again, she threw more stuff from the MIDDLE of her yard into our yard. I don’t want to be petty or stoop to her level, any suggestions on how to handle this…?
Well…I’ve spoke up…the next door neighbor lady, who’s done a lot of crap since moving in almost 3 years ago, was once again today was throwing things over the fence today when cutting her grass…. I happened to catch her thru my Ring camera (yes I now look when she’s near the fence), and I shouted ‘what the hell are you doing..??’ She merely kept cutting her grass, acting as though she didn’t hear me, or maybe she truly didn’t hear me.
So then, I was quite annoyed, as she’s been doing this all last summer and now into this summer. So I kept watching her when she would get near our yard. I noticed she picked up something in the middle of her yard, and as she pushed her mirror towards our yard, she held whatever it was in her hand, then she threw it in our yard. WTHECK…???!
WWYD…? I am a senior citizen, with some health issues and disabilities, and I live alone, and she has quite a nasty boyfriend, and she is quite nasty herself. So I feel like they might gang up on me, or retaliate somehow. I do have an attorney who is somewhat aware of the situation. Would it be worth my while to have the attorney send some type of certified letter…? Obviously, I want to least confrontational solution possible. Nothing that’s going to really around her feathers or provoke her boyfriend. So, that means not stooping into her level, although she probably would deserve it. Advice…? WWYD…?
I guess I can’t take it too personal, because she still throws pinecones from her trees into the other neighbors yard when she cuts grass.
In case anyone is wondering, I say ‘our fence’ because the house is owned by me and my brother, although he lives an hour away.

To preface, I am 20M, 1.8m and 83kg. No significant existing conditions, currently taking prochlorperazine between 15 to 25mg a day. UK student but live in Romania.
Primary complaint: Nausea and fatigue for a month. Right under ribs abdominal pain for a week. General GI issues (diarrhoea, bloating, gas etc.). Face feels very hot - temperature on the higher end of normal (gets up to 37.5 C in the afternoon).
Hi everyone, please read if you can, worrying myself sick and would love someone to tell me I'm not going insane.
4 weeks ago I had orchiepididymitis which was treated with 5 days of Gentamicin IM and 7 days of levofloxacin (Romanian medical system... my GP did not believe me that they gave me such strong stuff). Since the day I went to the ER and started treatment for this, I haven't felt normal.
During the week I ended up in the ER again with what turned out to be a panic attack. I spent the whole week with horrendous anxiety, depression, paranoia and generally felt horrible (GI issues including yellow/pale stool, nausea, and this horrid 'hot' feeling), among other things which I cannot really remember since I was so out of it. My family doctor said (helpfully enough, after the fact) that I was having some pretty serious side effects from the medication but that they should go away.
Well, I'm posting here because they haven't. After the week of treatment I was given another 24 days of antibiotic but I only took one of the courses given because I felt so awful while on the first one (Cefixime). Nauseous all day, really bad tiredness that wouldn't go away even with proper sleep (although I could not sleep through the night properly). My GP have me the prochlorperazine to curb this, worked for a while while on the Cefixime, stopped it 3-4 days before finishing the antibiotics but it came back with a vengeance this week.
Now I am 1 week+ off that antibiotic and I still feel awful. The hot feeling is back but feels worse than it did in that first week, I've been having diarrhoea (possibly related to new magnesium supplements) but the most worrying symptoms are definitely the nausea and fatigue which are not going away, even though my sleep has been great.
I'm so tired of feeling like this, if anyone has any idea what's going on please help! I've worried myself sick googling and my GP is unconcerned but ordered blood tests to be cautious (next Monday).
Is it possible that the symptoms are unrelated to the antibiotics? Obviously, everything online tells me I have cancer so I can't figure out what it could actually be.
I should add - my blood tests from a week before the infection were (almost) perfect, apart from a barely low neutrophil count (1.97, limit 2), slightly high cholesterol and low vit. D which I have since taken supplements for. During that week I had two CBC, one when I went to the ER with the infection which showed high WBC, protein C etc. indicating infection, and the latter CBC showed perfect values (everything in optimal range).

Hey there folks of sales!
I’m writing here to seek your valuable input of firsthand experience being in the sales world to see if making a career transition out of nursing and into sales is for me. Being a bed side nurse for the past 6+ years now has lead to burn out and wanting nothing to do with medicine at all ever again (even the idea of med sales fills me with dread). The thing is though I don’t want to make a career move because I am running away from something, but instead that I am running towards something that excites me. I know every career has its downsides, but I’m hoping that my idea of sales and what my work-life can be like is realistic.
I have watched a ton of YouTube videos, read countless threads on this subreddit, and searched up articles on what being an SDBDAE can be like, and I think I have the personality for it. I would consider myself a very analytical person who likes to help people solve their problems. I like the idea of approaching sales from the mindset of seeing that the customer has a problem and if the product I sell can be their solution. I’m not afraid to talk to random people as that is all I do every day in my current role as a circulating nurse in the operating room and I constantly have to reach out to new surgeons or residents to inquire as to what they’ll need or special considerations for the upcoming surgical case (I’ve also worked in college as a brand ambassador at Whole Foods interacting with random customers to sell products). I like to think at this point in my life I’ve interacted with a plethora of personalities and can keep myself composed in a professional manner to get things done.
For me the biggest draw to sales is the idea that you’re the master of your own domain. The idea that “work smarter not harder” is actually rewarded with a higher income potential (If I work smarter as a nurse I get more work but the same hourly rate. Yay!!). The idea that I can find what I am truly looking for in an employer and work-life balance.
What am I looking for? Ultimately I would like a remote WFH role with a company that respects me enough as an adult to not micromanage me (assuming I produce results of course) and ideally would allow for compensation in the 150k+ range within 3-5 years (I know that’s probably ambitious).
I love to scuba dive and want to live somewhere that I could do that on a weekly basis while still providing myself with an income to retire early. I’m 35 years old with a bachelors in nursing and about 350k in retirement accounts with no children or spouse and no plans for either, so having to start at a lower income than I currently make (110k/year) doesn’t scare me. I’m just trying to tailor my life around the things that bring me happiness, and I think not only can being in sales enable that, but also can suit my personality well and lead me into a work environment that doesn’t fill me with dread and instead excites me.
I don’t expect any of this to come easy, but am prepared to give it my all if my goals are realistic. What do you think? I appreciate any insight you guys have to offer, so thanks a ton for making it this far!

So I’ll give you the run down
tl;dr Me and my girlfriend have been together for 3 years but now she’s going to university 6 hours away come September which is completely fine.
But I’m an entrepreneur / fighter that operates an online business and is currently under way to purchasing a boxing gym and taking possession of it and start running the turn key operation with myself and others come September… fortunately enough I’ve been able to be extremely successful financially at only 19 but I love my girlfriend and I feel like I’m outgrowing her and wont have any time for her anymore. Come time for her leaving to school.
I also don’t really like the idea of the person I intend on basically spending my life with being in a school surrounded by many other guys, party’s etc etc I never wanted to go to school or be apart of that crowd. We fight lots since this issues been approaching closer n closer I also feel slight resentment in this relationship, the other day my family spent hundreds and invited her family over for dinner and they no showed after we spent all our money and wasted our time after it was a big deal For them to come lol
But that’s life… do you guys think it’s best if I just cut this off and focus on my life and maybe find someone more suitable to my life down the road?

I (21F) matched with this guy(24M) on tinder 2 years ago. Started talking till 3 am for a few nights even though we knew we wouldn’t meet cause we live in villages far away in bus and neither had car: in fact, we would stop in the middle of the conversation late at night and one of us would remind the other about it and kinda laughed at it. Later on, summer finished and he unfollowed me on instagram but I didn’t as in a way I knew wasn’t over. We were vibing, really, other matches didn’t add that same conversation flow to it. So time had passed, liked one of his stories last Christmas he followed me back, I replied one story and talked a little bit more. He told me he got military assigned in my city for 2 years and then we meet. Even though I arrived 40 mins late and had him waiting (my bad), time flew by and we enjoyed the night, ending up in a horrible (and unexpected for me) fast kiss. That was an end to it, or seemed like it when he stopped answering. (I texted one last time to confirm the second date wasn’t happening when he didn’t give any sign of living, he replied few days later but to say he had plans with friends and maybe would tell me when done to meet)
LITERALLY 2 months pass by and he writes me cause he saw me on tinder once again. We talked about that awful end to a date, laughed at it, explained me his point, we agree to see each other again but I’m in my exams and I would see him once they were all over or I was more chill. Because he just wanna fuck, he proposed virtual sex. First said yes but then no (confused him, not fair), and then I retracted myself and did it telling him that had never done it before. Everything went well, very respectful. Hadn’t heard from him for a week till he sent me two later-deleted messages that I replied to with “good evening to you too”, laughs and says good evening. Take my chance to see if meeting again is still up in the air. He will be off the city and didn’t say anything like he would tell me when or anything.
Now, with everything summed up. I see the red flags in it and the not enough interest, but it’s personal now. I know we enjoyed each other, I know what he’s looking is the same thing.
Q is: how do I tell him I wanna hang that promised time still cause I feel my purpose ain’t done yet?

Scammer Alert
Scammer alert
Long story short, i did a high dollar trade for stuff w/“zentico” parts. The Scammer goes by the name Lemmettc on TacSwap and Reddit. The B30/31 handguards were abused airsoft fakes, night and day difference. The B33 dust cover was missing hardware and the spring guide retention rod, and the PT5 stock was broken, specifically at the latch where the stock is supposed to catch when side folded. The only thing that came legit was the RK3 grip. I’ve made numerous attempts and compromises to get the proper stuff, he even offered to do a trade back since I was not happy with the trade. But ever since I acted on the trade back it’s been downhill fast. Guy keeps come up with excuses and delays and can’t make up his mind on if he wants to send me the correct parts or do a trade back. It’s been like this for over a week. Then he gets offended and threatens me because I called him out and refuses to give me my stuff which he promised he would and claims he’s the one that got shafted on the trade, saying that I broke his stuff and my items are not to par with his standards. I’ve got screen shots of the whole conversation! I can post the full story in the comments or elaborate more if anyone needs more details. I was able to get some of the missing hardware from him by keeping pressure but he is downright refusing to send me the B30/31 handguard. Stay away from this guy! He’s a shady, lying, crooked POS who will gaslight you and take your shit without second thought! I hate saying this, but let’s make this guy famous. Learn from me and don’t make the same mistake I did

So I recently broke my ankle and I was ordered to come back to work the following day, due to my inability to walk I called my supervisor to let her know that I would not make it in. She said that it was fine, and that accidents happen and to let her know what she could do to help. Now mind you, I have struggled at my job since I’ve been here and my supervisor says that she is always there to help me because we have seven other people on our staff to accommodate someone if something goes wrong. She told me other times before that I just needed to reach out. So because I was anxious and unsure about how my ankle was going to act from day to day and how that might affect me coming in on time on, I asked her if it would be possible if I could test students on the days where students test in the afternoon, also if I could be on the first floor to work on things to avoid a long painful commute up and down the stairs. She also said that one of my co workers would be there to help me out if I needed them to pick me up. I didn’t need that, because I can still drive, but I texted her and said that I just needed someone to potentially help me out the car and make sure I didn’t fall or slip on my way to the building. She said that it would be fine and she would fine someone else to accommodate my needs and that I would need to communicate with others about my needs. Later on that day, I get a call from one of my co workers who is in charge of overseeing testing and she tells me that regardless of my ankle condition, I needed to come in to ensure that all of the counselors test equally. She told me in order to avoid any glitches with time, that I need to wake up early and get to the testing site. My supervisor then texted me back and gave me my schedule with early testing appointments. I said okay to the both of them and said that I would try to get there as soon as possible despite my ankle trouble. The first day, I came back everything was fine. I tested my student and the day went smoothly. The second day I was there, I called to have someone help me out the car, she huffed in my ear and said I’m coming. I told her the day before that I needed to get some paperwork to complete an assignment that my supervisor wanted us to do. She said she was going to look for it and never came down with it, no big deal, I continued to work on other things. I had to leave during the afternoon to go to my doctor’s appointment, I found out I had to wear a boot. As soon as I found that out, I texted my supervisor and head of testing to let them know. They didn’t say anything major. Before I left for doctor’s appointment, I left my things on the table that I was working on to continue over on the day that I came back. Yesterday, I got to work and I could hardly walk my ankle was so much in pain, I called the coworkers that was supposed to be helping me out the car, I got sent to voicemail. So I texted my supervisor to let her know that it was going to be a while before I came in. No response. So I hobbled in the building in pain, and I saw that my things were gone from Friday when I went to my doctor’s appointment. I asked where did my things go and my other co workers went to go look for them they eventually found it in the testing room, so I asked what was I supposed to do. The testing counselor told me to wait until the student was on break. I was visibly upset, but I waited until I could get my stuff. My supervisor then text me and other coworkers about a task that still needed to be done. I texted her back personally that I had to wait until testing was over to get my stuff. No response. I started working on my things and then the two of them came up to me on each side and said that they cancelled my test that was supposed to be happening and that I could go home. I said that I was not going home and that I was capable of getting my work done here and test as long as I would be able to sit and rest my leg. I also stated that I was really confused that you would want to send me home seeing that both of them said that I needed to come to school to test regardless of my ankle condition. The counselor then stated that I could take my workload home, I said I can’t do that because it’s way too heavy to carry back and forth to my apartment on a broken ankle. They then started asking me about pain medication and my boot. I was getting angry because they were asking me these stupid questions about non relevant stuff. I then said yes in a snarky way and my supervisor got upset and said I sense attitude from you and I don’t have time for this and walked away. After I had cooled down, I wanted to continue to talk about how I felt that I was being ignored and put on low priority when all I wanted to do was come into work and help out with the tests and not get behind on stuff just to turn around and waste my time. She said that she was sorry I felt that way and pretty much walked away. Fast forward, today she texted me and put me on another early test schedule and pretty much told me to get out of the main counseling area and go back upstairs to my own office… Now I’m really upset because she’s acting trifling. I know I was wrong for getting an attitude yesterday, but you have to admit she was totally not being aware of my needs and straight up wrong for going back on her words regarding me needing help! Was I wrong or overreacting? Please let me know because even my mom is saying that she is being a hypocrite. Any feedback is welcome.

My boyfriend and I met in December 2023, started dating February 2024, and have now been together for almost 3 months. We live three hours away but see each other 2-5 times a month and call every day.
In January 2023, both my boyfriend and I went through long term breakups with our first loves. I had been with my ex boyfriend for 3 years, and he had been with his ex girlfriend on & off for 4 years.
When they were broken up, he was still very much obsessed with her. He would date and sleep with other people, but never seriously. He would leave relationships for her and block people once she would tell him she wants him back.
Their relationship was a toxic, vicious cycle that neither could break. But she was always the one that had the most power over him and would initiate all the breakups, while he would come back to her any time she was done dating other people for a little while. The final time she came back, he even proposed to her and they were engaged for a few months.
My past relationship, on the other hand, was a consistent one, and I didn’t have much dating experience after we broke up. My current boyfriend is my second relationship ever, so I’m still learning how to love someone while we both have pasts.
He acts obsessed with me. Super in love, always taking pictures of me and posting me on his social medias, spending so much money to visit me, calling me every night, making a private couple Instagram devoted to our pictures, but still brings up his ex a lot. We both had that problem a bit, but I slowly stopped doing it as often when I realized it wasn’t healthy. However, he always compares me to her. “() would do this.” “() liked this kind of music.”
Well in March, after a year of no contact between them, she (like always based on what he said) finally texted him just to see where he lived now and tell him she’s back in their hometown, asking how he is. He told me they had a short texting convo. I was a little jealous, but since he told me about it and it seemed small and short, I didn’t think too deeply. But it sent him into days worth of a spiral thinking about it. I tried not to bring it up too much.
Then one time in April, he got super depressed and wouldn’t tell me anything. I figured it was about his ex, as he still seems sad about her sometimes and talks so often about her. He got so bad that he drove the 6 hours back to his hometown where his parents live, took days off of work, which is also where she’s from and they met, and stayed with his parents.
I was dumb and suggested that he calls her to finally get some closure. He didn’t tell me if he would or not, until a week later after he was a bit himself again, he confirmed they talked but said “it’s just between me and her.” I said okay and didn’t bring it up even though it bothered me to know what the talked about.
We’ve been doing good since then, but he gets REALLY jealous of me talking with any guys at all. Like REALLY jealous. He likes to look through my phone and read my messages sometimes, which I don’t mind bc I have nothing to hide. But he don’t let me see his. Then two weeks ago, I got curious to see if he did really meet with his ex, and I saw the dreaded messages when he was sleeping (I know, it’s not good but I had suspicions).
During that time he was depressed, they didn’t call but he asked if they could meet in person. It seemed like she was really distant and not interested before or after their meeting, but he texted her things after they met up like, “I would’ve really regret if I didn’t get to see you before going to work abroad for 3 months.” And, “Are you sure you don’t have any feelings for me?”and, “I could never hate you, why would you think that? Please talk to me, I want to hear how you’re feeling.”
I tried to silently leave his apartment while he was asleep, but he woke up and cried, begging me to stay and that he’s over her, he loves me, he just needed closure to confirm she doesn’t have feelings for him so he can move on.
But it hurt me that he needed to know she doesn’t have feelings before he could continue a relationship with me. It makes me feel like if she wasn’t so distant and did have feelings, he would’ve left me immediately. I feel like a placeholder.
He also never told her about me, and told me that the reason he’s taking a work trip abroad for 3 months is because she always comes back in the summer and is scared she’s gonna final his new city and address and he won’t be able to turn her away. That was his explanation while crying to me and begging me to stay. And I said, “So the reason I’m losing my boyfriend for 3 months is because you think your ex will come back again like usual, find your new address, and you won’t be able to say no?”
It caused a huge fight, him sending her a message saying he’s with someone new now and loves me, wants to be with me, and is saying goodbye to their relationship forever.
But then after saying he blocked her, I saw a few days ago he didn’t and only hid her chat. He also sent her contact to a no name social media account that I think is his second account so that he has another way to contact her when he’s away for three months, but he says it’s not.
He said it’s the account of a friend that liked her while he was dating her and wanted to get with her if they ever broke up, so he sent her contact to this friend (which is still weird). But there’s no call or chat history with this friend. Just her contact.
So I’m wondering, should I break up with him? Is he still attached to his ex and I’m the idiot rebound?

For context, Me (25 M) and my partner (21 F) went to college together and were in the early stages of getting to know each other. Her parents were going to fly into the country to meet me before we solidified things further.
We have mutual friends obviously and met at a birthday party couple days ago. She mentioned that her dad recently got an extra laptop from his company that he gifted to her little brother. Upon hearing that, one of my guy friends and I jokingly said that we should take him out and steal the laptop. Up until this joke, she was laughing until I said “yea it’ll be okay bc her parents can just get another brother. It’s a simple process for them”. I noticed a change in her expressions and realized that she didn’t like the joke. I understood that it was inappropriate and subtly apologized. I even texted her I’m sorry a few times. She said she didn’t want to talk about it and needed some time. We spoke the same night and she was very upset still and questioned me about the joke. She basically said how would you feel if someone made that joke about your parents or sisters? I never disagreed with her and continued to apologize. She didn’t show me any grace and asked for some time. I had a feeling that she was not going to let it go.
I felt terrible about the whole situation and blamed myself so hard that I ended up texting her the next day that she deserves better and that I wish her all the best. I guess a part of me was hoping for some reassurance and that she wasn’t going anywhere and just needs time. She read the message and didn’t reply. I admit I got impatient and texted her aggressively about the times where I let her mistakes slide. I wouldn’t say I’ve kept track of her mistakes but those were just a few things that were at the top of my head. I guess I wanted her to show me grace like I had in the past. This blew up in my face and she got angrier and broke things off. I asked her to reconsider esp bc I had apologized multiple times in good faith. She didn’t budge and wished me the best for the future. Do you guys think this was warranted?

My wedding is 3 months away (ahhh) and I bought my wedding dress back in November. At the time I liked the dress and felt pressure to pick one as I was told I only had 9-10 months before my wedding and was running out of time, which I now know is not true (the dress I ordered came 6 weeks after I ordered it when they told me it would take 6 months).
For context, I’m a decently slender person with a large chest (30FF). I’ve always been self conscious of my chest and often wear baggy clothes to cover my body up. Well when the dress came in and I put in on, everyone in the store including my mother made comments about how I resemble Jessica Rabbit strongly. Now I can’t get that out of my head as someone already insecure about my chest size. I don’t want to give off the vibes of a fictional character with a massive chest at my own wedding. I’m at a loss for what to do and just feel very sad.

Infp(f) here. I met an enfj (m) a couple of weeks ago on a night out. We clicked instantly and he was really eager to stay in contact and meet again, suggesting going for a walk to get to know each other better. In the days following we continued texting and it was going really well. I introduced him to mbti and he was super interested. Not only did he take the test and read up on his result, but he also spent all evening reading up on infps, which no one has ever done for me before. He had such genuine curiosity into who I was and seemed so keen to learn more, he was so complimentary not only on my looks but everything he read about my personality, too. He made me feel so seen and special & I felt on top of the world, I felt we were connecting in a way I haven't with anyone before. Our energy matched so well. He said he couldn't believe I was real. I felt myself getting carried away with my feelings for him but it felt safe because he was reciprocating, and seemed equally excited. He ticked every box for me and I seemed to for him.
After a few days he suddenly went a little colder and his replies became slower. He told me he had a family issue and he would tell me more the next day. I gave him the space he needed. The next morning I woke up to a very long, heartfelt message explaining how much he had enjoyed talking and that he liked me more and more the more he learnt about me, but that the timing wasn't good for him. He said he's at a point in his life where he needs to focus on his goals, that he barely has time for himself and that he didn't feel it was fair to continue things because he couldn't give 100% of himself to me at this time. That he didn't want to get hurt or to hurt me. He said he wished we had met a couple years down the line when he is more available for that special person. He also explained that his mum had received some bad news about her health, and so I feel this could have been what triggered the message and that he may have felt overwhelmed with everything. I made it clear that there was no pressure from my end, offered support as a friend and said he could lean on me whenever he needed to (I'm aware enfj's can exhaust themselves always being there for others and often neglecting themselves. Which he definitely seems to do) I just wanted to be there for him and to continue getting closer, but I respect hus decision. We carried on talking as normal for a few more days but again his replies became slower. I made him something out of clay, hoping maybe we could meet again and I could give it to him. He called me a beautiful person. I felt as though I might be bothering him so I let the conversation die a couple days ago. Im giving him space now in hopes he will decide he does want me in his life, that maybe he will reach out. But I haven't heard anything since and it's driving me crazy. How could things have seemed to perfect to begin with, for him to suddenly want to cut it off in its tracks. I keep being told that 'bad timing' is just an excuse to let someone down gently, which I'm hoping isn't the case. He does seem genuinely extremely busy, always working, or doing things for other people. But why would he not even want to see me just the once to see where things go, if he was as interested as he said he was..
I'm not sure what my question here is. Id just like any advice I guess, on how to approach this. If there was really a spark there, is he likely to want to reach out to me again in the future? Does he just need time to process? How long should I give him before possibly reaching out to him? I don't want to be annoying or push him away. I'm mindful about not being needy and keeping myself busy with other things. But I worry he will forget about me now, with his busy extroverted life, and we had so much potential. How can I remind him of this :(
Pls give me your opinions, any enfj's that have gone cold with a crush what was on your mind and what could I do to keep the ball rolling with him? I care for this guy a lot despite only really just meeting him. Is he likely to let this die if he really felt something?
Ty ty

Hello all! I have been into computers for several years and have accumulated quite a bit of hardware. What I have currently is an Asus rt-ac82u router exposed to the internet through an AT&T modem, which has most devices on YazFi guest networks for added security. I also have a home server which is an i7-8665u with 16GB ram and 256GB storage running stock debian. I primarily use this for pihole, minecraft servers, and waking up my desktop. For storage, I have a i3-7100 with 16GB ram running openmediavault with a 240GB boot SSD and a single 16TB data drive. This machine is mostly for me, but my non-techy family needs to be able to use it too. For parity, I have a second system which is identical (with an i5-7400 rather than the i3). I plan on syncing the two then taking one with me to college so that I have backups in two locations.
Now, in terms of what I am asking for: how do I go about backing up OS partitions? I already use syncthing to back up generic data partitions which is where most of my data is, but I am looking for a similar tool that will work to back up both windows 11 and linux mint (I use windows on my desktop... ugh... I want to switch so bad but Logitech G hub and Fortnite won't let me. I do get to use mint on my laptop though). Finally, I already have strong passwords on my secure wifi network with the NAS on it, the NAS is locked down, and the home server and vpn server on my router are also behind strong passwords, but any other security advice you all have would be appreciated. The only ports I forward are my remote desktop port (which is forwarded to a random port), a port on the home server for syncthing data transfer (NOT web config interface), and the ssh port for my home server (which is also on a random, non 22 port)
Thanks to all in advance!

(I also posted on computer science to get all inputs) I (24F) am going back to school. I’m currently in a community college and am 1 class away from getting my associates. I’m doing a business transfer to a 4 year school. I have taken my sweet time to complete this because I was never truly sure what I wanted to do for a living.
As of recently, I’ve realized a lot of people that have a business degree, don’t really utilize it and/or don’t have the best positions. For example, right now I work in a call center and the pay is good and I get commission. A lot of my co-workers have graduated college and are doing the same thing I am. Other people get a mediocre manager position at some retail store and hate it too. I don’t really see myself just managing people.
I’ve always been really interested in the IT world. So I’m currently debating on switching majors but not sure if I should do Computer Engineering vs Computer science vs any major related in that field. I honestly would like a degree where I can actually have some skills and make close to or over 6 figures. Any advice on what major would bring me the best type of skills to get me in a good paying job? I have found that I typically aren’t picky with the jobs I’ve had. I’ve been a CNA, I’ve babysat, I’ve worked retail, and now I’ve been a customer service girl and have never found myself unhappy as long as the pay is good. So I’m not worried about finding a job that’ll be 100% fulfilling but I did read a few posts before of people ranking their CS/CE job a 8/9 out of 10 too.
Any advice on how to go about this would be appreciated! I think I’m just nervous on choosing a degree that wouldn’t serve me as much.

Tell me,
Has the lover truly loved if the writer writes? What are the words of a poet if not the afterthought of a man (or woman) in wistful decree? Why live on these words when that is not the essence of this love? You cannot enter into this place with your dignity intact. Nor may you draw near while a trail of breadcrumbs plots your escape. In this place, you do not win – you surrender your all. Do not look back from whence you came. You are here in the place made for you on the eve of my birth by something that knew you before even you existed. For something knew to make me in this love, and therefore I in you.
I am not the harlequin that taunts your soul. Do not peruse fear against a love you try to deny. Turn around and face me. Ignore the doubt that leaves you wallowing toward all these material safeties. Remind me again what it is that conquers all. Then adore me when you realize that you may rest here within. The silent third between us speaks louder than the words I write for you today and it is all for you, my Dearest Love.
Do not lie to me when you answer the forlorn questions raised in your moments of uncertainty: do you honestly wish that your body and soul were only your own? Do you wish that you never met me? Do you believe that this can never be (even when it already is)? Do you wish to compromise the essence of this love, believing yourself safe in what you know is tangible? Your childhood teddy bear displays the truths of what fate allows the tangible – and even that I live to protect. Show me the seed of your passion and I will plant it, harbor it, grow it and build it within you beyond anything you have ever known. I value this forever with you. You overflow within me, and you have always been enough within me, and more.
I need you to know this through and through – that when you turn me away, you turn away from yourself. You know that you will see me again when you face the mirror. Lay down your arms, take down your walls, bare yourself, turn away your fear, pull aside the curtain and prepare to meet the truth. For I do not write these words because I miss you…
… I write because I love you and I want you to know it.

(Hey there. This is the third place I post this, and so far, the previous communities told me, this post doesn't belong in their threads. Hope I'll find help here. Thanks for reading it!)
I'm writing a short novel and I'm having the hardest time finding a country and cities that would be good for setting. It's supposed to be a very light romance novel with a lot of travelling, like half of it is just about the journey to get to the destination and the culture, and I have a picture in mind of some far away, hot, dry, even deserty country, with these beautiful buildings, crowded bazaars and so on. Something Eastern or African. The whole vibe in my head is a bit like watching Aladdin as a kid; just a magical arabian nights-like thing with a few fairytale elements mixed into reality. So far so good, but the plot limits my choices a lot. Here's context:
Female lead is invited to X country by one of her university friends to her wedding. She loves travelling, loves foreign cultures, travelled solo a lot, SO she turns down the help offered by her friends and decides that she will get there by herself, which leads to all kinds of trouble and inconveniences. (She's not entirely stupid - this is not Emily in Paris - but slightly underprepared and also just facing a bunch of trouble because of ahem, me xd.) She gets to city A of this country by plane or something, but then she is kinda forced to take this awfully long and uncomfortable bus ride to get to city B, where her friend is from and the wedding will take place. On this bus ride she meets the male lead, they also end up seated together, and while at first they annoy each other, he practically becomes like a guardian for her, helping and protecting her in many cases. bla bla bla, story goes on.
Problem: I just can't find a good location. One reason, as I explained, I have a concept in my head, which I have to locate somewhere. Rich, colorful culture, intricate architecture, the traditional clothing, the food, a grand festivity around the wedding etc. But two, I have this looong bus ride in the plot. I want it to be a plausible choice, or even, the only choice. So no planes between city A and B? And the landscape, as I mentioned at the beginning.
I'm open to any suggestion, any idea, and especially from people who live in African or Eastern countries. You guys definitely know better as it is your country, your culture. Thank you everyone in advance!

Hi everyone - I’d love some advice regarding my nanny situation.
The short version: I recently hired a nanny for my 6 month old, and overall we love her. She’s great with my little one’s care, generally open to our feedback, and just a nice person overall. She has experienced a lot of unimaginable trauma in her life, and I am in awe of her strength. That being said, every conversation we have - including instructions for the baby - somehow gets tied back to the trauma, her parents not loving her, or some other really deep and touchy subject. It’s to a point where it’s hard to have a conversation with her because she’ll talk over what is being said to just talk and talk through her past traumas. And she’ll just keep talking, even when I walk away because I need to work. I fully understand she’s got a lot on her mind, but I just don’t know how to give her the feedback of “it’s a lot”.
The long version: On the first day of the job, 4 hours in, she started crying entirely unprompted and telling me every deep trauma from childhood to now (she’s in her 40s and clearly very troubled by her relationship with her mother, feels unwanted). It stemmed from me asking for help with something and her just equating it to her life. If I’m doing tummy time with my little one and encouraging them, she’ll start talking over me about how her own child never felt such love from their family, issues she’s had with the child’s father, etc. By the end of our first few days together, I felt drained. If I’m showing her how we make our LO’s bottle, she dives into her traumatic births, how her children were overweight at birth, and missed the bottle instructions so I had to repeat them.
I had to leave for work recently and came to say bye to my LO. She started talking over me talking to my LO about how taking care of a baby is easy, but her life has been so hard. She literally stopped and grabbed her forehead and started talking about how hard her life has been… again, talking over us as I’m telling my LO I’m heading out.
Or she asked me recently if we have plans to have other children, I told her we weren’t sure. She used that as a segway into discussing how she couldn’t have children immediately, married her ex husband within a week at 18, and all because her mother didn’t want her in her house anymore. Or if she hears me having a phone conversation with someone in my family, when I hang up she’ll start unpromptedly talking about how her mother is threatening to kick her out of her home and she may be homeless soon, so it is probably nice to have parents who love me.
By the end of the first week, I knew everything from her traumas from age 7 to now, divorce details, her children’s allergies, her extended family’s hospitalizations, etc. I want to have a good relationship with our nanny and know them well, but this is entirely different. If my husband and I mention anything about childcare being difficult (I.e. we had a rough night because the baby didn’t sleep well), it’ll segway into how much harder her life was raising 4 children etc.
She wiped down the baby’s changing station yesterday (which I greatly appreciated) but it then prompted her to also tell us about her previous run in with chemical pneumonia due to expired cleaning products she once used, tied all of that to her father’s lung cancer given their coughs were similar, and just talked for a good 5-6 minutes about that. It ended with her telling us her father died thinking no one loved him… all from the update of the changing table.
Someone else on here has a recent post about how the parents’ words really matter. Given the amount of time our nanny spends around our LO, I think her words really matter as well. We’ve had to talk to her about negative tonality with the baby, which she’s working on fixing. If the baby is hungry, she generally asks if her parents haven’t fed her versus asking if she’s hungry, or if she’s sleepy the nanny would ask hee if we didn’t let her sleep versus asking if she’s sleepy. As the baby grows and develops her own language skills, I let the nanny know I don’t want the baby to associate those remarks with us. She’s working on talking to her differently but I think a lot of it is unfortunately rooted in her own experiences and parental issues.
We love her work and how she cares for our little one, she’s super in tune with the baby’s needs. But the trauma dumping is very draining. I understand wholeheartedly it may not be easy to be her, and everyone needs an outlet, but it’s to the point where that overtakes every and any thing she says or does. I want to give her honest feedback without hurting her feelings - but not sure it’s my place to do so. It’s getting to the point where we are considering interviewing others (but don’t want to). I mean this in the nicest possible way but we hired her to help us out with our child, not to be her built in therapists.

tw: abuse, suicide, manipulation (apologizing in advance for grammar or other language mistakes, english is not my first language)
so, i'm a 22f and i need an advise on the situation involving my 21f bestfriend and 20m cousin
throughout childhood mine and my cousin's parents were not in very good financial situation and worked literally 24/7 so on each weekdays then there was no school or kindergarten we were both sent to our grandma since neither of our parents really had time for us (no blaming here) my cousin was the youngest in his family (2 other significantly older brothers) and due to that he was very spoiled and had short and demanding temper at that time, could not take no for an answer. both of his brothers are the true definition of frat boys and they started to tell him all kind of staff about puberty and sex very early. at some point (i was 7) he started sexually abusing and manipulating me and threated not to tell anyone. at that age i didn't know anything about it so i stayed shut and did not tell that to any living soul, just cried my way out of it. he stopped doing that when i was 11 due to both of our family's relocation to the place too far from grandma. we've never talked about it and i don't even know if he remembers it + we don't talk much now anyway. he grew up into a decent guy and i think at that time he was too influenced by his older brothers. he had formed relationships with some girl and they were dating for few years and he really loved her but due to some personal stuff at home she committed suicide. my cousin fell into deep depression and was there for the past 4 years and was afraid to form any kind of relationship with anyone. and so this january our families went on a trip and i took my best friend with us and after that they both developed feelings for each other. my cousin crawled out of depression and started to actually live again. they met occasionally through me and now are seriously dating for like a month. my best friend is very happy too and she shares details of their relationships and said they've been sleeping together and all that. she wants me to be happy for them but ever since january i couldn't stop but push her away and talk less and less with her. i feel very weird about them dating, it makes me both mentally and physically sick each time i see them together. i cannot tell her about my reasons for that because i don't want to ruin it for them: she will 100% dump him after hearing my story (we've known each other our whole life - from same kindergarten and school and now when both of us are graduating uni and thinking of starting adult life, so she's always on my side), he will fall into depression again and all of that because of me. please help me cause i don't know what to do now.. (note to the moderators: i searched through other abuse related posts here and couldn't figure it out if mine needs an NSFW tag or not, so please forgive me for not adding it if it was needed afterall!!!)

Mahaba to please bear with me huhu For context, di pinoy ang papa ko and married sila ng mama ko dito sa pinas. 22 years nang di umuuwi ang papa ko, pero may financial support naman all throughout these years. And wala akong way to contact him or if ill ask my mom alam ko magagalit(sila lang nag uusap ni mama). Ff to when i was around 4-5 y/o ata, nabuntis mama ko ng ibang lalaki (kabit nya) . Iniwan nya kami ng kapatid ko(dalawa kami) nung pagka panganak nya sa anak nya sa ibang lalaki. Pumunta sila sa lugar nung lalaki. Turns out battered pala sya doon kaya kinontact nya lola ko para makauwi dito samin. No clue lahat papa ko sa pang yayari. Ff to elementary na ako, may bago nanaman syang lalaki(sila parin ng papa ko with all the sustento) and syempre as bata may choice or may say ka ba? diba wala. Ilang years nabuntis na naman sya so apat na kami magkakapatid. Ang matindi lang is walang trabaho ang lalaki nya until recently lang, mag 10 na bundo kong kapatid and recently lang sya nagka trabaho. So ang bumumbuhay samin padala lang ng papa ko. Kaya short palagi sa expenses and bills kasi may bahay na sana kami, binenta nya para sa lalaki nya para makalayo kami sa chismis.
Ff nung pamdemic at nabuntis ako ng bf ko. College palang kami and i know nagkamali talaga kami. Pero the thing here is di din sinabi ni mama sa papa ko na nabuntis ako. So patuloy parin pag papadala ni papa ng pang tuition ko. blue school ako so malaki laki din natatangap ni mama and ayaw na nya ako pag aralin after ko manganak pero nagbago isip nya at nakapag patuloy ako ng isang sem lang. Nag aral akong mabuti pra sa anaknamin. Pero pagka second sem enrollment na, literally ginohst ako ng nanay ko dahil wala syang pang bayad sa tuition ko. Dalawa kaming nag aaral ako at bunso kasi yung dalawang nasa gitna eh tumigil muna. Di sila umuwi ng bunso kong kapatid at lalaki nya hanggang matapos ang enrollment, naka block pa ako sa fb so di ko ma contact. Kasi mas pinili nyang unahin pag papaaral sa private school yung bunso kong kapatid(grade2) na wala naman ambag ang tatay financially. Eh ako 2nd year na sa 3 year course ko. Diba super lapit nalang? Matutulungan ko na sana sila pagka graduate ko. Nakapisan kami sa amin that time and we decided na lumipat nalang sa bahay ng family ni bf.
Si bf ko kakagraduate lang that time and entry level lang din ang salary so di nya din ako kayang pag aralin plus needs pa ng anak namin and expenses nya(pamasahe, baon) Nag hanap ako ng pagkakakitaan at salamat sa Diyos lumago ito at dahil dun gumaan buhay namin mag asawa. Nakabukod na kami ngayon at nabubuhay ng komportable(di nagigipit, may savings, may pang gala etc.)
On the other hand, mas lalong nag hirap sitwasyon ng nanay ko at “pamilya” nya. Belos 10k nalang kasi ang padala ng papa ko dahil akala nya “graduate” na ako. And Sakin sya hingi ng hingi and kumbaga naka depend. Always sila nandito para maki kain or hihingi ng kahit ano sakin. Take note bata pa mama ko, no work ever since, tanggap tanggap lang ng padala and very much capable pa mag trabaho. Gusto parin nila ipilit na private school bunso kong kapatid kahit na pang kain hirap na hirap na sila itaguyod. ABYG kung naiinis ako dahil di nila ako pinag aral kahit may pang aral naman sana ako at pinili nilang pag aralin yung kapatid kong anlayo pa makagraduate? Nakakainis lang kasi nag sumikap ako from scratch(no college degree) to get to this point kasi wala akong something to fall back on. Tumutulong naman ako in terms of food pero di lang talaga ako nagbibigay nG pera kasi naiinis ako. Di nyo ako pinag aral pero sakin pala kayo dedepende kasi alam niyong madiskarte ako and tatamad tamad kayo dyan