Cold feeling in foot

I have never been on the midnight shift before but I have worked on midnight before for overtime. I work afternoons, and I have for 5 years now. I work 3-11. I use to stay over and work 3pm-3am. Even at times came in early and stayed over, 11am to 3am the next day. Ideally my shift I would want is 7pm to 3am but I can't do that at least not here. I always liked staying over on midnight shift because everyone was so chill and it was quiet, everybody kept to theirself, there was no traffic on roads. Admittedly I have not worked any ot so my normal 3-11 the past year because I got involved into alcohol abuse. Essentially I would get off my shift and drink a lot and pass out. I quit cold turkey 3 days ago and I feel great. I don't even have bad withdrawal symptoms anymore. I just can't sleep at all. I have been up for nearly 3 days straight, all night just in my bed. It makes me think I should take this time to try and train myself to go on midnight since I obviously can't sleep when I get off work. I will be making a premium

I just got a new EMS job and I’m supposed to be doing fitness testing on Friday but I currently have stitches on the bottom of my foot from an injury last week. While it is mostly healed (literally two drops of my blood on the gauze from today), I have yet to put pressure on my foot since the injury to avoid further issues. As a part of fitness testing, I’m supposed to run which normally would not be a problem as I am a healthy 21 yr old guy. I'll be getting the stitches out on Thursday which they are requiring me to do in order to participate; it will be 9 days of stitches at that point so its certainly within the time frame. When asking about moving the test back a week, they made it seem that it wasn't an option. I've been in EMS for a couple years and have never had any issues with my physical ability and am feeling sorta frustrated with the situation. Additionally, they want a note from the urgent care doc stating I am capable of returning to work without limitations. I'm really not sure what to do.

hey, so i made a post earlier similar to this.
escitalpram/lexapro 2.5mg
but hours on i started feeling off after feeling faint, which has since stopped but now i have a twitch thing going on in my left foot, it isnt severe or strong but its enough for me to notice it. so because ive had that on my mind for over an hour ive none stop researched nhs website for details on side affects etc, and it gave me trashing results, and so now i dont know what to do.
ever since i checked the symptoms online, ive started getting chest pain and its like i forgot? to breathe (sounds odd ik) but thats how it feels, and some sharp pains and im burping like crazy (i think im full of gas because my stomach feels a bit tender also.) i had a headache, took painkillers (paracetamol) and it took the edge off, but now i cant help but worry about these symptoms??? it all began because ive had dry eye lately and it flared back up (common side effect apparently) and then it lead me to more worrying which has led to this? however i will admit my mood has been a lot more positive tonight than usual.
so i now have this really annoying foot twitch that is just constantly doing my head in and the chest pain which i think is from anxiety..but my mind cant process it which is stressing me out and making me feel like crap. it took a lot for me to take these tablets and the last thing i need is to overworry about it. google is not a good answer to these situations, but as u expect the anxiety tells you different.....
advice please!!!!!!!!

I'm not the type to move on quickly. I gave everything I have inside to promote a relationship I believed to be worthy of all of my time and effort. I saw my partner for who they are in the beginning. I accepted them. I also allowed room for personal growth, we both needed it. I allowed room for growth in our bond. Naturally.
I feel as if none of the things I have done to create a space, safe and comfortable for our entwined lives to flourish was acknowledged. I feel like a lot of the time i was disrespected with the intent to undermine my self esteem. I am at a loss over knowing now, that my thoughts on being used were true.
Everything had to be their way. Not a shared way.
Every viewpoint had to be skewed to fit their narrative. Not each individual having their own and respecting another.
I feel that my intent to build something solid was a secret joke to them, shared with friends I wasn't allowed to know.
Now, having cut the tie to this person I feel hollow and discarded. Even though I was the one to put them out. I have never felt more alone in my life.
They made mistakes that take real heart and effort to correct. I'm unsure if that effort is one they could give. This isn't' about pointing fingers. My finger, it seems was pointing in the right direction, regardless if they didn't want the betrayal pointed out.
This is about choosing to be a better human being. This is about the warmth you feel inside by doing right by the people in your life. This is about allowing the positive parts and magnifying them, minimizing the negatives when they come along. And they do, that's life. There's more than enough hurt and pain in the world without creating more on purpose.
I hope anyone reading this, being the one who has been hurt or if you did the hurting understands this letter is really about the choices we make and how we affect the people in our lives. How the human experience isn't about the suffering but the recovery.
My life will never be the same again. It was the most connective bond with them, for me. The time with them was somehow greater, for me. The good things that were shared is special, for me. The hurt I feel is deep now, and I needed the betrayal to stop, for me.
I wonder if there is remorse felt by them. Or if this is another thing they twist in their mind to relieve themselves of any guilt. I knew when I met them there were issues like this for them. An absence of claim to damage they cause.
I wish they understood the freeing feeling of admitting a mistake. I wish they felt the self assured pride of ensuring and protecting their loved ones by refusing to allow mistakes to happen. Or happen again. I wish they understood we are all fallible. It's not about the mistake, its about fixing it, meaning it and never allowing it to happen again. Because you love the person it hurt.
I don't regret meeting them. I don't regret giving my all. I don't regret giving them space to grow. I don't regret that my nature is easily seen as being easily manipulated.
I am the kind to smile at babies and speak to my neighbors. I say good morning to passersby on the street. I offer cold drinks to overheated young mothers outside with nowhere to go. I pet friendly animals and take time to appreciate the growth of foliage as I walk. I feel most things around me, flowing in and through me. Lifes very own heart beat, I trust at anothers word. I give benefit of the doubt. I see the glass half full. I don't question anothers whereabout, I take their word for it.
If these things make me some kind of target, so be it. I have no other way to exist. This is me. I wish they had protected and cherished these things about me. I wish it hadn't been exploited instead. Life will never be the same.
It's called honesty. Its not a new concept. It makes the worlds we create for ourselves worth living in. To my fellow people in hurt, love yourself more today and it's okay to feel what you feel. To those who've caused a hurt, love yourself more today and it's okay to make amends if you are moved to do so. To all others, I doubt they got past the second paragraph I wrote so it's a moot point anyway.
Be kinder. More honest. Love yourselves. Love each other. And smile, it's a beautiful day.

Cymbalta (90 mg) and Abilify (2 mg), sleeping and eating well. Feeling some side effects and restlessness early on that continued to increase until they became frightening and intolerable at about 3 weeks on.
I stopped the Abilify and returned to Mirtazipine (15 g), which I had mistakenly thought was making me dizzy, when I hit a side effects wall very hard at 3 weeks or so.
Total negative side effects after 3 weeks on Abilify:

1. ⁠Frequent brain fog and memory issues
2. ⁠Lack of enjoyment doing things I used to like.
3. ⁠Poor judgment.
4. ⁠Frequent restlessness and troubling unsettled feeling.
5. ⁠Waking up more at night.
6. ⁠Suicidal ideation (my first time ever.)

I quit Abilify cold turkey and the negative side effects continue to dissipate after a month. Also I only suffered mild flu symptoms for one 24 hour period the first day I stopped taking it.
I found out after that Abilify is in the same family as Compazine, a treatment for nausea from painkillers. I experienced severe Akathisia after being given Compazine 20 years ago for nausea after ankle surgery. Treated successfully with Benadryl luckily.
This is only my experience with Abilify - Aripiprazole and yours will very likely be very different.
Good luck and best wishes to everyone out there fighting the battle to find whatever treatment or drug combination that makes you feel better! You are all heroes to me.

I'm debating whether to report this or not because everyone else around me is saying that it's "not a big deal"
I have a little sister J who has a boyfriend M. M spends a lot of his time at our house. A couple weeks ago he was dropped off by an older man, around 35ish. I asked M if that was his dad and he said "No that's my friend". At first I thought he meant a friend of his family but after learning more I discovered that the older man was just M's friend. I wouldn't typically have a problem with this but M is only 14. It made me feel slightly uncomfortable that a 14 year old was friends with a 35 year old. My parents said that it wasn't weird because the 35 year old is "more like a big brother".
Last week I began talking to M about this friend. M told me that he's in a friend group with ages that range from 27-43. I was horrified because once again M is only 14 and the second youngest is 27. I again brought this up to my parents but they said that there was probably a perfect explanation for why M was friends with them. I also brought this up to my little sister J to see if she knew anything else. J said that M would often sleep over at their houses and skip classes to hang out with them. J also mentioned that she had brought this up to M multiple times but he also shot it down saying that "they were his only real family" and that "he would do anything to please them". This really made me sick but I thought there must be a reason why no adults were freaking out about this.
The most recent time when I ran into the 35 year old he was with two other people, the 27 year old and a 40 year old. We (Me, J and M) ran into them at the arcade. These grown adults were acting like middle schoolers. They acted like middle school boys with M but were very opposed to me and J being there.
At one point the 40 year old told M that his shirt was "too loose" and needed to be tighter so it would "reveal" M's "hot body". I was absolutely disgusted after hearing that I could also tell that J was very uncomfortable. So I pretended that I got an urgent text from work and we needed to go. We left but M's friends seemed really disappointed and annoyed that I was making M leave. Almost like they knew what I was doing.
This morning J came to me and said that we should report this to the police. I agreed with her but as we were on our way to the station she got cold feet and said that she felt bad for doing this to M. I took her home because she became very upset about doing this. I also feel bad for doing this to M but I feel worse letting him be friends with them.
Should I report this?

My family has always been of great minds. I hated it. Growing up and having to study day and night to try and live up to them was extremely exhausting when I couldn't care how things worked as long as I was happy. I gave up but somehow everything kept turning out to be true.
Over my lifetime I have become the Gorden Ramsey of the science world. Known for my temper and also for huge things like curing world hunger using play-doe and cancer with baby powder I got in a back street ally while drunk.
To get my family off my back I started making random ideas so they could see me as a failure and leave me alone but...they keep working. And soon people started to praise me. Fame has left me with nothing but more and more attention. So today I plan to make sure that everyone can just think I'm insane and leave me alone and not some king.
I chuckled like a kid who was opening a Christmas present as I heard the crowd of people chatting and talking loudly as I hid behind my stage in a grey tight suit that my sister had picked out. I sighed and was ready to walk out and make a fool out of myself but my brother stopped me.
" Jack... I just want you to know how proud I am of you. Dad would have loved to see you right now. "
I thought it was ironic because last night while chilling on the couch watching TV and eating chips I made this theory up. He dusted off my shoulders held them tight and looked me in the eyes taking in the moment.
" go give them hell man. "
He had a goofy smile just like Dad but spoke with confidence.
" you got it, man. "
I heard my name being called onto the stage and the uproar startled me for a second but I collected myself and headed out after giving him a nod just to entertain him.
The lights were blinding as I grabbed the mic and looked at the table in front of me with a small box with the ingredients I needed and a chalkboard behind me.
After I stood still for a minute the crowd died down. I had not told anyone what I was presenting so the whole world was watching without a clue of what I was doing this time.
"Hello everyone. Today I believe I have my most important presentation yet..."
The crowd grew silent and hung on every word. And I heard my voice around the room through the speakers.
" Today I have with me a box...and inside is spaghetti I had for breakfast. "
The crowd laughed thinking it was a joke
" shut up "
The crowd grew silent once more
"Behind me is a chalkboard and I will now present my new findings to all of you...I have found out how to make portals to other worlds. "
A man in the far back of the audience yelled bullshit in a heavy Indian accent but he was so far it was a faint sound for me. I smiled at that thinking I had finally found something that would make me lose my title and I could go ahead and live a life without people making me feel like an evil man for not helping others.
I opened the box got a handful of the noodles and threw them at the chalkboard. I then grabbed a paper towel on standby to clean myself.
The noodles hit the board and slowly moved and rested on a spot on the board. I made eye contact with my brother backstage and he had a look on his face showing he believed in me.
I spun the board dropping the noodles to the ground I then grabbed the chalk and drew around the sauce and noodles that stuck to the board then drew my attention to the others that had fallen on the floor and drew an outline of that.
After it finished I threw the chalk in the crowd violently hitting an old lady in the face.
" Quickly I want a show of hands who thinks I'm a crazy guy "
Everyone raised their hands and I laughed to myself
I then went behind the board and laid it horizontally. I grabbed a small knife in my pocket and poked my finger with it. The crimson blood fell and hit the chalk and then as more and more blood hit the chalk it started glowing.
" you have got to be joking. "
I said out loud as it started to spark an orange glow and it slowly grew color to the rest of the chalk in orange sparks.
Once the symbol was fully sparking with orange the sauce began to swell and move around in a counterclockwise manner. I stepped away from it in shock as small parts of the blood in my finger began to float to the parts where it fell on the floor I drew my outlines on and started sparking those as well.
It started to smoke and hiss as if lightning could whisper and the orange began to take shape and the sauce made a doorway. The parts that were not on the board began to grow ice around them and started to make designs on the floor circling me and the board. Suddenly it grew in size and a large booming voice was heard through the portal as I felt panic of people start to set in.
A huge claw came out and scrapped the sides of my table trying to crawl out from the world it had been trapped in. Cold winds hit me as they cut my skin and threw around my clothes. As I saw the table was now melting from its touch.
A slimy green claw with mucus like a face-hugger egg from the movie Alien carved through the floor and pulled the rest of its body out slowly. A beast stood at 12 feet tall adjusting to our world as goop grew and shaped its body as people screamed, ran, and stood frozen in fear.
As it looked around it locked its spider-like eyes and swerled around coming out from the portal and twisting and turning around the body as it made its way to its head finding a place to rest. It then locked its eyes with me and its jaw twisted slowly from an ant-like maw to mine and slowly shrunk and it soon took the shape of me and knelt on the floor and spoke to me.
" master. "
I stood in shock as everyone seemed to calm down and watched to see what I would do.
"...umm "My family has always been of great minds. I hated it. Growing up and having to study day and night to try and live up to them was extremely exhausting when I couldn't care how things worked as long as I was happy. I gave up but somehow everything kept turning out to be true.
Over my lifetime I have become the Gorden Ramsey of the science world. Known for my temper and also for huge things like curing world hunger using play-doe and cancer with baby powder I got in a back street ally while drunk.
To get my family off my back I started making random ideas so they could see me as a failure and leave me alone but...they keep working. And soon people started to praise me. Fame has left me with nothing but more and more attention. So today I plan to make sure that everyone can just think I'm insane and leave me alone and not some king.
I chuckled like a kid who was opening a Christmas present as I heard the crowd of people chatting and talking loudly as I hid behind my stage in a grey tight suit that my sister had picked out. I sighed and was ready to walk out and make a fool out of myself but my brother stopped me.
" Jack... I just want you to know how proud I am of you. Dad would have loved to see you right now. "
I thought it was ironic because last night while chilling on the couch watching TV and eating chips I made this theory up. He dusted off my shoulders held them tight and looked me in the eyes taking in the moment.
" go give them hell man. "
He had a goofy smile just like Dad but spoke with confidence.
" you got it, man. "
I heard my name being called onto the stage and the uproar startled me for a second but I collected myself and headed out after giving him a nod just to entertain him.
The lights were blinding as I grabbed the mic and looked at the table in front of me with a small box with the ingredients I needed and a chalkboard behind me.
After I stood still for a minute the crowd died down. I had not told anyone what I was presenting so the whole world was watching without a clue of what I was doing this time.
"Hello everyone. Today I believe I have my most important presentation yet..."
The crowd grew silent and hung on every word. And I heard my voice around the room through the speakers.
" Today I have with me a box...and inside is spaghetti I had breakfast. "
The crowd laughed thinking it was a joke
" shut up "
The crowd grew silent once more
"Behind me is a chalkboard and I will now present my new findings to all of you...I have found out how to make portals to other worlds. "
A man in the far back of the audience yelled bullshit in a heavy Indian accent but he was so far it was a faint sound for me. I smiled at that thinking I had finally found something that would make me lose my title and I could go ahead and live a life without people making me feel like an evil man for not helping others.
I opened the box got a handful of the noodles and threw them at the chalkboard. I then grabbed a paper towel on standby to clean myself.
The noodles hit the board and slowly moved and rested on a spot on the board. I made eye contact with my brother backstage and he had a look on his face showing he believed in me.
I spun the board dropping the noodles to the ground I then grabbed the chalk and drew around the sauce and noodles that stuck to the board then drew my attention to the others that had fallen on the floor and drew an outline of that.
After it finished I threw the chalk in the crowd violently hitting an old lady in the face.
" Quickly I want a show of hands who thinks I'm a crazy guy "
Everyone raised their hands and I laughed to myself
I then went behind the board and laid it horizontally. I grabbed a small knife in my pocket and poked my finger with it. The crimson blood fell and hit the chalk and then as more and more blood hit the chalk it started glowing.
" you have got to be joking. "
I said out loud as it started to spark an orange glow and it slowly grew color to the rest of the chalk in orange sparks.
Once the symbol was fully sparking with orange the sauce began to swell and move around in a counterclockwise manner. I stepped away from it in shock as small parts of the blood in my finger began to float to the parts where it fell on the floor I drew my outlines on and started sparking those as well.
It started to smoke and hiss as if lightning could whisper and the orange began to take shape and the sauce made a doorway. The parts that were not on the board began to grow ice around them and started to make designs on the floor circling me and the board. Suddenly it grew in size and a large booming voice was heard through the portal as I felt panic of people start to set in.
A huge claw came out and scrapped the sides of my table trying to crawl out from the world it had been trapped in. Cold winds hit me as they cut my skin and threw around my clothes. As I saw the table was now melting from its touch.
A slimy green claw with mucus like a face-hugger egg from the movie Alien carved through the floor and pulled the rest of its body out slowly. A beast stood at 12 feet tall adjusting to our world as goop grew and shaped its body as people screamed, ran, and stood frozen in fear.
As it looked around it locked its spider-like eyes and swerled around coming out from the portal and twisting and turning around the body as it made its way to its head finding a place to rest. It then locked its eyes with me and its jaw twisted slowly from an ant-like maw to mine and slowly shrunk and it soon took the shape of me and knelt on the floor and spoke to me.
" master. "
I stood in shock as everyone seemed to calm down and watched to see what I would do.

"...umm "

Part two of the noodle demon.
Now that this creature knelt before me I realized that the room I was in was so terrible quietly you could hear everyone's ass get tight in anticipation of what would happen next.
" ...what...are you. "
I spoke carefully to the being that had taken the shape of myself. It still took my breath away and my throat was dry.
The beast was a deep green. The color mixed with shades of grey streaming from it. The longer I looked at it I could see it getting closer to what I looked like shaping itself.
From small flowing green tendrils to an arm they grew as they twisted and made bone then muscle and finally skin.
It locked eyes with me and it smiled deeply at me. As it formed the face finally.
" Your vassle. "
My eyes had not moved to the crowd at all but even though the lights hit the stage so hard it was enveloped in smoke.
The creature's eyes glowed as it answered brightly, not figuratively. This thing's eyes were glowing.
"To serve you, We are bound by blood magic. I am a reflection of your desires, Master, " it said, its voice now a whisper in my mind.
It began to stand up as my grey suit began to form on it and by the time it stood fully up it had copied what I looked like.
" let me explain everything. "
My body frozen in fear woke up with adrenaline as I blinked and a flash of green smoke covered my vision as he teleported right to me face to face.
Its body turned to smoke and went into the slits of my eyes. I felt visions follow me in my peripheral vision but surprisingly no pain followed power filled me and it felt like one hell of a drug.
My body and mind altered.
I was now in a very dark place with no walls or light except my reflection on the floor which waved like water.
I took a step back looking around and back to the reflection of me on the ground.
Soon the water rippled and my reflection fell through the floor like gravity was inverted. he flew upright and water fell off of him as he looked at me as he now stood straight ahead of me. He was just reflecting in the water but now eyed me down.
Collecting my nerves.
I begin to speak.
" what do you want..."
He was still in my form and stood perfectly straight. Now with water dripping from his...my hair.
Slight stubble with hair that hung down and my hazel eyes were not present within him but I was greeted with a swelling acidic green that doubled the size of my pupil.
" to serve you. "
He made no other movement than putting his hands behind his back like a soldier at ease.
I could not tell if it was lying or not.
" ...is that it? "
" I am the embodiment of your fear desires and brilliance. You have shaped me. Your desire for solitude birthed me. I will aid you in shaping the world how you see fit. Your reality becomes mine. "
There was a slight echo in the room as he spoke.
" wait...where are we "
I questioned haphazardly
" your mind. "
An awkward silence was in the air until I spoke
" so...am I just standing on the stage not making a sound? "
He gave me a concerned look.
" no...time has frozen outside for you. You may sleep here without having to in the real world so to others you look as if you never rest and you may think and plan what to do in battle here. For them, it will be about two seconds...Do...do you not have any knowledge of what I am? "
Suddenly I felt bad like I had encountered someone famous and I had no idea who they were. A slap in the face like a popular kid meeting someone who had never heard of them. Ego shattered.
" ok sorry no. I...don't go around reading about...monsters?"
I felt like was I saying the n-word of the demon realm not knowing if that word was offensive.
He folded his arms a little upset.
"Are you not a warrior? "
" well...no I...just watch TV and cook here and there- "
The demon cut me off
" weak. "
" excuse me? "
" look. I am an immortal being and after a while you get bored. So I'm sorry if I may be a little upset after being bonded with some nobody. "
I got quiet and I was a little annoyed that I was being roasted by some demon that I just met.
Its form wavers and eyes begin to open on its skin. Cheeks forhead etc.
"After being a god for so long it's fun to play with limitations. Makes things extremely exciting. "
" what do you mean by that? "
" look. You can only be so entertained by the same things. Life gets boring and now...you are going to help me with this. I get to have pure entertainment while you get every wish you could ever want. A mutual bond no? "
He then closed his eyes annoyed and the other eyes meshed back to his skin.
" though... the TV is not that interesting...life is what gets the blood pumping"
I felt the need to quickly change the topic
"Are there others like you? "
The room began to take shape very slowly as the water floor turned to wood and walls went around us.
" of course. You may meet them one day "
Confused and curious I pressed.
"Meet them? "
" yes. Summoning one of us is considered a threat to them. "
He spoke while opening and closing his newly found hand except backward.
" hm...no that don't look right "
I quickly responded
" Wait! How is doing that a threat! "
"Well, one doesn't just accidentally Summon one of us to suddenly get powers beyond human control. "
I thought back to how I summoned him by accident with some food I made.
" well...funny story but I summoned you using my breakfast..."
I had never regretted speaking so much as in that moment.
" What... "
Acid dripped from his words. Literally. His pupils split in half and his bottom jaw ripped open like an ant and curved giving sharpness to the bone.
"Please don't kill me. "
The room began to look like a cozy cabin with a fireplace and he slowly went back to normal.
" I would if I could. I've never felt so disrespected. We are bonded by your blood. If you die...I die. "
Suddenly I felt at ease by this new information.
Then a thought came to my mind
" ...God's can die? "
" you did hear me, right? "
The SAS from this guy was unneeded and I was starting to miss him being on his knees as weird as that sounds.
" so...all that power gone.... in an instant... "
" well...no actually God's powers don't just disappear they transfer to whoever killed them...wait...hold up."
He suddenly had an epiphany.
A smile grew on his face and he grabbed my shoulders
" you! You are going to help me kill the other gods! "
He sounded proud but I let him down.
" ha! No. "
" oh come on! Don't be like that. "
He did a pout.
"Look, man. I'm not killing gods for you. Just because you are bored. "
" hey...they might send people to kill you because you bonded with me. "
"What did I ever do to them? "
"They have a system to this stuff. They like to build and watch things play out. You're a problem. That can mess it up. So...they kill ya...to be honest, I don't know any other way to explain it, man. You know people normally just use my power to kill people and become a king and know this already. "
"This is outrageous. "
" bro. Look if you do this I will be able to get their powers and you will be able to do so much more than what I offer "
I tilted my head
" what can you do? Know what never mind. I will just talk to them and figure things out. "
He groaned and his form melted down sagging and it shot back up reforming
"Is there not anything that you want? Anything in the world? Gods don't put themselves in physical forms. They give people power and can make beings to hunt you. And if they care enough to come down themself. Ha, good luck."
I stopped and thought about it trying to weigh the options of pissing off higher beings.
Suddenly. I found something.
"Can you bring back the dead..."
He stopped confused.
" well...no "
" then I don't want anything "
" wait! "
He threw his arms out pleading
"I don't...but another God does..."
He crosses his arms smiling. He had left the question hanging letting me reconsider his offer.
I stopped and thought for a while before looking back up to him.
I let out a sigh and looked him in the eyes
" ok...you are going to help me get my father back. "
The demon smirked.

I am neha ( 26 f ) , I am here to vent and get some suggestions or maybe even a real friend . This is a story of how I ruined my love life and destroyed the man who meant everything to me . We grew up in Coimbatore , i first met my boyfriend when I was in 11th grade , I actually saw him in a video , it was a Facebook video made by his friends , one of his friend proposed a girl , so they made a video of it , he was there in it too . He is tall , above 6ft , he looked ok , normal , a bit weird too with his specs and curl hair . He didn’t stand out , after few days I saw in a local chat place , he was with his friend , all sweaty , they came from gym . I recognised him immediately though. I saw him sneakily , idk why , after going home I sent him a request to his Insta . We started talking the same night , he said he saw me too , we connected way too fast , he was very funny and practical, we became best friends very soon , we almost spoke daily , in that following year we became so close, there wasn’t anything sexual , we just talk about our day and our lives daily , then he got into a relationship with a girl , I liked her too , life was so easy and fun back then , after we got into college , I Started to date a guy in my college , but we didn’t stop talking , nothing changed between us , after going to college we started getting drunk and smoking up , it was all new and we all did it almost everyday in first year , it was pretty fun . The guy I was with that time , didn’t really smoke up that much , he got drunk but he didn’t smoke pot that much , but the rest of us gathered everyday to smoke pot and play carrom . We both even meet at night to just smoke up and listen to music . At the end of the first year , one day he called me one evening and told me that he wanted to meet me , he sounded very low , I was with my my boyfriend and his friends that time but I left there immediately,booked an auto and Met him at a usual place near an IT park , we drink coffee and smoke cigarettes there usually.he was already there when I went in , he saw me and smiled but that looked very sad , he told me that his girlfriend kissed someone , a distant cousin of her actually , she kissed him in a moment and texted her girlfriend about it , she mentioned that she regrets it very much , I can’t stand it , I don’t know what to do , I feel nauseous, stuff like that . He showed the screenshots , he didn’t talk much he just smiled but that killed me . I was so angry on her , I didn’t even know what to do to make him feel better at that moment, I said she is not worth it , don’t worry , things like that . He didn’t talk about it after that , he changed the topic and he just sat there for 30-40 mins just smoking thinking about something. We speak almost daily and I know everything about him , he told me when they first had sex , we speak about everything, just not anything sexual to each other , when I saw him like this , I was feeling only rage , I was so angry on her , I don’t understand why she kissed some other guy , after getting into that relationship he was very loyal , I know how loyal he was , he even got a tattoo of her initials , but when he knew about this kiss , it made him so sad I guess . After 2 hours , we went home . I called her as soon as I went home , i scolded her so much , she started crying and told me that it was a mistake, she sounded very regretful too , she cried so much , I couldn’t bring myself to be mean after that .but that night i couldn’t sleep , my ex called me all night but I didn’t pick his call , I kept texting him , we used to text in Snapchat daily , I kept sending him texts and he texted me back to , he said he is going to get drunk and pass out , I also felt that’s better , after some days she even cut her hand , like scratches with knife on wrists , she was very regretful too , then somehow they didn’t break up , he wanted to after that but she didn’t let him , but gradually it got ok , but after this we started to speak and meet more frequently than before , I started to drop him in my college , both of our colleges are in same road , we started going in one vehicle daily. Mostly I drove , we speak all the time about nothing , even when we were going on my scooty , we just make fun of people in road , we laughed , had fun . One day he even pressed my breasts accidentally, side of my breast . I started neglecting my ex , that guy I dated that time , after few months , people started to notice , but still we didn’t care . (I actually come off from a well doing family , my family has enough money but my parents have a very unsuccessful marriage, they don’t even speak to each other , I have a younger sister and elder sister . My elder sister is married , my younger sister difference is 3 years . My parents doesn’t speak to each other , my mom openly says that they are together only for the kids . ) I loved being with him , he made me feel safe , comfortable and it’s always warm when I’m with him . We smoked pot all the time though , it was so fun , we even bunked college went to room and just smoked pot and watched anime all day . One day my ex boyfriend and his friends were in Ooty and they wanted me to come , I said I’ll come with him , I can’t come alone , and I asked him to come . We rolled some joints and started to go in his bike , we went a beautiful ride , stopped and smoked up in between, after we reached there I went with my ex boyfriend. We all smoked up that night got drunk , he usually doesn’t talk that much , but all of us were drunk and it was chill , some of my friends like him some don’t , but it’s all chill . We stayed in a tent stay there , that night I was with my ex , he wanted to make out , we kissed and did some stuff but I just felt restless and distracted, I kept thinking about him and my ex was a drunk too , it didn’t turn me on , after some time he passed out . I went out and went to his tent to see him if he is asleep , but he wasn’t there , then I started to look for him and I found him near the fire place , he was smoking up there alone with a phone in his hand , he was just singing this song 7 years by Lucas I think , he was singing along with a joint in his hand , he saw me coming , smiled but he didn’t stop singing, I can see him feeling even little embarrassed, but he looked so happy and free . I sat down there started to smoke up with him . After sometime I asked him why haven’t even kissed even once , I just asked him in a fun way but he got all serious all of a sudden , he saw me straight in the eyes and told me that he would love to kiss me , I literally felt butterflies in my lower tummy , my hips felt all tight too , idk , I still remember everything though . I kissed him in an instant, I kinda rushed in and kissed him, it felt magical . We kissed for a long time , we just kissed , nothing else . But I loved it , after sometime we separated, he saw me smiled and said I tasted sweet and bitter with weed taste . But my heart was beating so fast that time , I wanted to make out with him right there , I’ve felt horny before but he was the only guy made me feel like this , I tried to kiss him again but he stopped me and told me im drunk and asked me to go sleep . Next morning they asked me to go with them but my mind was fully on that kiss , I came back to cbe in his bike , we didn’t talk anything for the first time I just hugged him on the way back , it was nice too . I thought about plans to break up with my ex , after he dropped me home I kept thinking about the kiss , things got normal after a few days , we were like before but we started to flirt a bit , I started to call him baby and it gradually became very intimate . One day in a movie I kissed him again and he kissed me back too , we started making out bit by bit , it developed into a place where he started to grope me while im driving , I enjoyed every bit of that , I broke up with that guy I was with but he was still with that girl . Around final year first semester end they broke up too . We had intercourse the next day , it was amazing , I loved everything about him and the best thing is he is my best friend too . We rented a place for us by college end , we had sex every single day , it was the best , I loved staying with him . After this there was covid and we had to stay in our place , for one whole year I lived with him happily, he never let me down even once , he was already very caring from beginning but after we got committed , he really did treated me like a princess . He didn’t speak much but his actions were most considerate , we both worked remotely and having the time of our life , two years went by , I was happy and fullfilled , at the end of third year he quit his job and tried to get a different better job with extra good pay , 3 months passed by , one day few friends of mine from my work visited our place , they told me about opportunity to work in chennai for a month , I took it and went to chennai for a month , he dropped me to bus and sent me off to chennai . We spoke daily but not that much , I went out with my friends daily got drunk , just having fun . Some of my friends think my boyfriend is beneath me , one even said that I deserve better , she said he didn’t even get a job in three months joked and asked me whether I am the one who’s paying rent , actually he never asked me rent or money , he always paid for everything , but that time when they were joking I didn’t defend him , I still couldn’t believe that I didn’t say anything . In that week I met a guy , he came with my friends , he flirted with me when I was there , after I went back to PG I got a text from this guy , he got my number from my friends it seems . After some texts I responded and we started texting ,i liked the attention I think idk , I was talking to my boyfriend daily too , but somehow he noticed that I am not ok , he asked me about it and I said it was work issue and I am tired , 3^rd weekend I met that guy alone , he wanted to have a drink and I went , I slept with him that night , to be honest the sex wasn’t good , when he got inside me I felt darkness , I swear . Idk why I did it , after sex that guy slept in a second , I saw him lying down and I felt like killing myself , I left to my pg in midnight , I booked a cab and went back . I saw my snap notifications from him but I couldn’t open it , I blocked that guy’s number , I went to pg , cried myself to sleep . Next morning I spoke to my boyfriend , told him that I got cold and resting today , he told me that he got a job as a business manager for a US IT firm , he sounded so happy and told me that he called yesterday night to tell me this . I was crying so hard when he was on the phone , at that moment I swear I even fogot the face of that I slept with , he asked me to get rest and I hung up . I couldn’t talk to him , I felt so guilty and ashamed , as I was thinking this I get a notification my swiggy that he placed order to my pg , he bought soup . I broke down , it was like everything is telling me how big mistake I made , suddenly my thought went to that day he told me about his ex’s kiss , I can see that sad smile . I decided not to tell him and love him more and more , he had his birthday in 15 days I wanted to do something for him . When I came back from chennai , he picked me , he was so happy to see me , he spoke about his new job to me on the way , he was like a child , maybe cause he missed me for a month , I can see that he is so happy like silly child just to see me , after going home I had sex with him , I even rimmed him and I kinda liked it , it was the best sex we had , I felt alive and also very guilty . I treated him better and better to ease my guilt , but this made him very happy , I arranged a small party with my sister ,his friends and my mom .the day before his birthday we got drunk he asked me why I am not being adamant like before , ‘enna kadhal ha ‘ (joking sayin I am so in love) he joked about how afetr five years we can get super rich and start a family , I melted hearing all this .i promised myself that I will never let him down . but ha ha This is why I think karma is a bitch , at the noon of his birthday I got a text from that guy saying that he is thinking about that night . He heard the notification took the phone to pass it to me , he just saw the phone simply , just a glance and he just stopped and opened the text , I was blowing up balloons opposite of him , I saw his face and my heart sank , he came closer and gave me the phone , he didn’t speak anything , I opened my phone in a panic , saw the text and I saw him , he asked me ‘ so you slept with some guy ? ‘ , I didn’t reply , my whole mind got blank , I felt like I was gonna faint , he just saw me and said why . Of all these years I knew him I never saw him cry , but now his voice was shaking , he just asked me ‘ yen ‘ (why in tamil) . I saw tears on his eyes , I can see his eyes becoming lifeless in a matter of minutes , I tried to hug him but he just moved away , no matter how much we fight , when I hug him , he gets all cute and lovely , but he just moved away in an instinct . He then came forward hugged me tightly , he said ‘ sorry ‘ . I still don’t know why he said sorry , but that sounded so weak to me , he is my everything and I hurt him , I know everything about him and I still fucked up . He hugged me for some more time , I knew this warmth might be the last thing . After few mins , he rubbed his eyes in my dress , saw me smiled the same way . But it felt more like he is laughing at himself , I watched my 6 ft man walking out of the room , I just stood there alone , and I felt very cold , I remember that cold everyday , evening people came for the party and he got ready and cut the cake , fed me the first piece , my mom and sister was there too , he behaved very good , spoke with my family , but I can see that he is broke , but he still made it through the night , I went to speak with him that night , but he said he can’t . he said ‘ please I can’t ‘ . I choked hearing his voice , he went to terrace , I didn’t sleep at all that night , I walked around our little one bhk apartment , I smoked two packs of cigs that night , I went to check on him in the terrace by 4 , he was sleeping there on the floor , he hugs himself in sleep and its so cold , I cried watching him , just one day ago he was being silly like a kid talking about future family , now he is there alone , heartbroken . Morning usually he makes coffee and rolls one , I made coffee and rolled one , waited for him to come down . He came down saw me and smiled , but its not the cheerful smile , it just hurt so bad watching him like that , he drank the coffee , smoked up with me , even told me its good. Then he got ready , I cooked but he said he can’t eat , he is not hungry , that morning was so silent , he cheers up with he sees me , he was my biggest fan , now he left home with just saying bye . I got a text from him that aftrn asking me to move back to my mom’s if possible , I was dead . I couldn’t say no , I hurt him , he didn’t even scold me , he even requested me , I can only say yes . I asked him that I want to stay one more night , he said ok like always . That night I asked him to cuddle with me , he said ok , he wanted that too it seems , we just hugged in silent , he slept off quickly , he always told me that when I sleep with him it makes him stressfree and he gets a good night sleep . He was asleep on my breasts , I saw him sleeping and I couldn’t stop my tears , realising that this is the last time , I made a stupid mistake , but everything felt unimportant now , I saw him sleeping and I kissed him on his cheek , must have whispered sorry a 100 times , our four years relationship came through my mind , I realize that he made sure I was happy in every way he knew , I proposed him , I made him fall for me , now I broke his heart . I didb’t sleep that night too , morning I dozed off , when I woke up he wasn’t there, he made juice for me and left for work . I packed some of my stuff and went to my mom’s . when I stepped out of our little home , I broke down and cried . I went home and cried , I told my mom we fought , but my sister knew something was up , she tried to ask him but he said it was a small fight , I confessed to her that night , I still remember seeing her confused look , she is a gen z kid , but even she gave me a look of confusion , she didn’t understand how I could do that , she liked my boyfriend very much , she was almost proud of him . But when she knew I cheated on him , she felt disgusted I think . Our sister bind kind of broke too that night . My life was dull , I missed him every second , I missed talking to him , I missed his smell , everything . I just focused on work , two months went by with no contact . I saw him near IT park at our spot one day, he looked like he was sick , he lost weight , his eyes are dry , he looked so pale . I saw him from a distance and I couldn’t believe my eyes , my baby looked so weak and sick , he was having a coffe and smoking a cig alone at the place we used to sit . My eyes teared up watching him , he looked so lonely . None of my friends knew we broke up because I cheated , he specifically asked me not to say anything to anyone . I didn’t speak to him that day , I couldn’t . I was full with guilt . After going home I called his friends and asked how he was and they said that they lost all contact with him and he is ghosting everybody . I broke him and also made him alone , I seriously considered killing myself but I was a coward . After a month , when I was in office , my mom got a diabities issue and fainted , my sister called him in a hurry , he came immediatiely and admitted mom in hospital , when I came there I saw him with a plastic cover with insulins for my mom . After my elder siter came , he left , he asked me to call with updates . Before leaving he asked me why I cheated , he said “ is it because I am not satisfying you “ or “ you wanted a emotial support “. when he said that , I just stood there , I can see his face , hiding a humiliation , I never had a sex issue with him , I loved being with him , but my baby asked me this , I felt ashamed . I couldn’t face him , I just stood there , he said never mind and left . I stood there seeing him leave ,but I didn’t give up , I started texting and snapping so much and somehow I made him talk to me normally , but his eyes has lost its color, he looks like he is tired of everything . After few days we both got drunk and alone , I kissed him as soon as I got the chance , he kissed me back too , usually when he kisses , he hold me ears , looks me in the eyes and kiss me , he did the same out of the habit , as soon as our eyes locked , he bursted out in tears , I truly felt how much this man loved me and how much I hurt him , he wanted to do more but he stopped himself , when he burst into tears, my heart completely broke , I hate myself so much , I hate my friends for fucking up my mind , I hate that guy . My man is gettting punished for giving everything to me , its been a year , he changed , he looks lean , unhealthy , I even think his hair is falling , almost like a zombie . I would glady kill myself for him , I just want him to be happy , I destroyed the only person I love , I see how devastating this can get for him, he looks so weak , I can’r accept it . I should’ve defended him when they joked about him . Its all my fault , its been a year and I still can;t go back to him , I can’t imagine another guy to raise my kids , I want him . Help me .

Incorporating Polarpit Cold Plunge into my regimen, I've seen a noticeable boost in post-workout recovery. The revitalizing cold is unparalleled, feeling rejuvenated and ready for the day ahead. Upfront cost might give pause, the impact on my overall wellbeing makes it a worthwhile investment.
Discount code ANDYPOLAR got me $150 off, hope it helps anyone else!

It's kind of pathetic to say, but at 16 years old, I'm starting to realize I've either wasted or lost all the potential I've ever had in life. I don't think I'm capable of living a happy life where I'll ever feel satisfied. I know this sounds very much like teenage angst but since I was young, I've always felt this sense of impending doom and grief when I think about my future.
I think I was 8 years old when I contemplated ending my life for the first time. I was being both physically and sexually abused by my mother and another relative while my father was aware of everything and stayed silent about all of it. The only memories of my childhood I have are ones of the cold bathroom floor my mom used to beat and force me to sleep in. Not only that, but I was very terribly bullied and isolated at school and wasn't ever allowed to leave the house unless it was to a family member's house every so often. At school, I was miserable and hiding in bathroom stalls. At home, I was even more miserable and sleeping on the bathroom floor.
Even after the bullying and physical abuse ended, I struggled to make friends for years and only now have started talking to others on a regular basis. Before this, I tended to shove my head into books and pretend the characters were my companions. There have been times where I wouldn't speak for weeks. One, because my relationship with my family is destroyed and I refuse to stay in the same room as them. Two, because others avoided me and felt so uncomfortable by my presence that I never spoke with others.
My situation has greatly improved since then but recently I've been realizing how much my childhood and living situations have ruined my chances to be a normal human being. I feel so isolated and alone and like a disgusting vile monster wearing a human suit and trying to belong. I feel like life has no choice but to end terribly for me — girls who grow up like me typically end up dead in ditches, addicted to substances, homeless, or all of the above. I have no friends who I speak to regularly, no family members I can rely on, and I'm not intelligent or capable enough to work up for an education that would fix the state of my life. I don't know what to do with myself. I've done everything to try to change whatever's wrong with me.
I've tried to change my behaviour and stop being socially awkward but my phoniness drives people off even more. I've tried to change my appearance and developed severe anorexia in hopes that maybe my body was the reason why I couldn't connect with others. I've tried to study my ass off so others could at least respect me. But I'm too stupid and lack diligence to work hard. I don't know what to do with myself and I don't know how to fix the mess that's my life. The only solution I can think of is to fast things forward and end my life already. I just feel so lost.

Hi guys. I want to buy a sleeping mat and I have narrowed it down to two options. I can buy a Thermarest Trail Scout at AUD$155 or go for the Prolite Plus Womens at AUD$255.
I intend this for Australian winter use, car camping and backpacking, most likely from 10C down to just above 0C. My sleeping bag is comfort rated to around 4C. I sleep cold so I usually just put my jacket on. I currently have a cheap Denali sleeping mat which just doesn't cut it. One advantage to the cheaper Scout is that I can also afford a thermal liner for the sleeping bag as well, although I think that with a better sleeping mat I'll sleep warmer anyway.
I've always had fairly cheap gear (spend my teenage years sleeping on those el-cheapo blue foam mats), and my instinct is to go for the cheaper Scout, but I don't want to shoot myself in the foot by cheaping out too much.
I do intend this mat to be versatile--for use in colder temperatures I'll add a pad underneath.
Is there an advantage to spending the extra $100 on the Prolite Plus?

It's good. I've always had a soft spot for RPGs with big casts of quirky characters, it's why I like Fire Emblem and Trails so much. This certainly scratches that itch, I liked a lot of the designs of the cast and they were mostly fun, or failing that inoffensively forgettable. I beat this game far faster than I usually beat games of this scale, likely because there was always something to work towards, always a character to unlock. Having a tangible goal right in front of you, or something to look forward to like a new party member really did wonders for the addiction factor of this game.
Combat was pretty decent, usual fare. I greatly appreciated that those who are underleveled caught up quick, I was able to give just about every battle party member a try at one point or another and while some are certainly better than others only 1 or 2 felt outright useless. Autobattle came in handy but I really, really wish they didn't use up the battle items at the first opportunity, it was just wasteful honestly.
I liked the story as well, the three protagonists are all cool but my favorite character was probably Perrielle, she more or less felt like the real hero of the story, and I liked her relationship with Nowa. The plot was certainly standard but that's hardly a crime. Seign turned good maybe a bit too quickly, almost felt like they halfheartedly dangled a bit of the Jowy drama in front of us before giving up on that and just having him and his crew join the good guys without much friction involved. Marisa felt a biiit out of place I'll admit, like the Runebarrows really only serve as sidequest-y dungeons rather than the crux of the plot so her role as their protector didn't really serve the greater goal of defeating Dux Aldric. That said I liked her character, and her posse of friends for the most part. Nowa is fine, a standard JRPG hero but he has some fun quirks, I especially like how into Beigoma he got. Character wise, that's a fun trait, I like how he's not afraid to get hammy. There are a lot of characters introduced near the end and a few bizarre moments but nothing outright bad in my opinion. Maybe a bit nonsensical but this is a JRPG we're talking about.
Mini games kinda sucked lol. If I didn't have to do basically the whole Beigoma sidequest to unlock all the characters I never would have bothered. Same with the cooking, to be honest, mashing A and guesswork make up the crux of their gameplay mechanics. Sand racing was tolerable, if only because I only did it twice, once for the plot, the other to unlock Scarlet. I honestly didn't even do the Egg foot Races or the Plays and I don't feel like I'm missing much. The War Battles were an acceptable interlude but hardly riveting.
I would really like to see a sequel to this game. I think it's flawed but enjoyable and that there are a lot of cracks to fill. Make Beigoma more fun, would probably have to revamp it entirely. Make cooking a bit more of a challenge (Pro tip just make the Omlet the first meal and the Coconut water the last, find any judge's favorite for the middle. Literally worked every time). Balance out the party, be a bit more ambitious with the storytelling. What I see here is a game like the First Suikoden that is just begging for the Suikoden 2 to come out and cement itself as an all time classic.
For now, game's good. Would recommend for fans of the genre

I (14F) have been having "dizzy spells." I don't know what else to call them, but it's much more than a dizzy spell. Back in september, i was standing in line for a food truck with my mom and suddenly felt super hot and sweaty (it was only around 60°, which was cold for that time of year). My mom said to go sit down on a bench in the shade so I did. Suddenly my vision went dark. It wasn't black, as I could still see, but it was more like I was wearing a pair of sunglasses. I got super dizzy and nauseous too. My mom tells me I was rocking back and forth on the bench. She told me that she was calling my name over and over, which i didn't hear. I stood up and I blacked out, woke up on the ground a foot or two in front of the bench.
Since then, it happened a week later, again in november, and again in february when i thought it was over. Each time, it lasted around 10 minutes (ish).
Got blood tested and nothing came back. It wasn't blood sugar. It wasn't hunger because i had eaten that day just an hour or two before. It wasn't anything wrong with my heart. My mom eventually gave up and said it was my period or hormones (i wasn only on my period the first time) Any ideas?
TLDR;

• symptoms: heat flash, dark vision, dizziness, nausea, blacking out
  
• not a blood sugar or heart problem
  

I (14F) have been having "dizzy spells." I don't know what else to call them, but it's much more than a dizzy spell. Back in september, i was standing in line for a food truck with my mom and suddenly felt super hot and sweaty (it was only around 60°, which was cold for that time of year). My mom said to go sit down on a bench in the shade so I did. Suddenly my vision went dark. It wasn't black, as I could still see, but it was more like I was wearing a pair of sunglasses. I got super dizzy and nauseous too. My mom tells me I was rocking back and forth on the bench. She told me that she was calling my name over and over, which i didn't hear. I stood up and I blacked out, woke up on the ground a foot or two in front of the bench.
Since then, it happened a week later, again in november, and again in february when i thought it was over. Each time, it lasted around 10 minutes (ish).
Got blood tested and nothing came back. It wasn't blood sugar. It wasn't hunger because i had eaten that day just an hour or two before. It wasn't anything wrong with my heart. My mom eventually gave up and said it was my period or hormones (i was only on my period the first time) Any ideas?
TLDR;

• symptoms: heat flash, dark vision, dizziness, nausea, blacking out
  
• not a blood sugar or heart problem
  

cave painting?
i dreamt i lost control of myself sent into a trance like rage no matter how hard i tried i couldent stop hurting people and destroying things untill i passed out? it was like i was floating in a void feeling like i was spinning but didnt know what direction was up then it felt like my body got sucked into a wormhole untill it stopped and i became very aware i was asleep but felt almost as if something was very wrong wrong with me untill i looked up i was in a cave really confused i looked up and saw the painting before a man showed up and said its a shame i replied with what is and he stated with a almost earie uncanny looking face? i had to tell you something important but it seems like you don't exactly have the time to discuss it i woke up in a cold sweatcave painting in a nightmare

So my foot started losing sensation 2 weeks ago - I can still move it, and feel things, but the feeling is dull. However, over the last couple days I've been experiencing pins and needles in the area every once in awhile.
The optimistic part of me thinks this is a sign that the nerves are healing, because you normally feel pins and needles when waking up a limb that has fallen asleep. The anxious part of me thinks this is a sign that it's getting worse, and it's going to go completely numb.
Has anyone else experienced this transition? In hindsight, did it lead one way or another? Or is it a crapshoot like the rest of this condition?

I'm looking for some advice, and how to proceed with Low Back Pain that I have had for around 9 Months.
Background: I am 22 years old, 160lbs and am a very healthy person, and injured my lower back performing a deadlift movement with horrible form on a smith machine. I knew I had horrible form, and generally would have never done that exercise but I ego lifted with friends watching. I heard a pop, in my back and woke up the next day with lower back pain.
My pain has never been that bad, but got slowly worse with a few times I reinjured myself Surfing once and carrying a bed another time. I have extremely tight hamstrings, and my lower back clicks sometimes when I extend my left leg in the motion of pedaling a bicycle.
Currently I practice spine hygiene, do the McGill Big 3 twice a day, and spent a lot of time perfecting the form of the exercises. I have stopped any activates that have potential to reinjure my back. But I feel like have hit a brick wall in terms of progress. I wake up everyday with a sour lower back, and after a short walk perform the mc gill big 3. It seems that sleeping, and sitting for long periods, or exercising legs(hamstrings) lead to my back getting sore. I do rarely get that much sciatica, Sometimes in my left leg, and right foot, and in fingers, and arm. I used to get these nerve pains more in the past.
I'm super discouraged on not sure on how to proceed, I've read back mechanic twice and implement spine hygiene and the McGill big 3, yet I'm just not making progress anymore.
Note: I have been doing PT on and off for 4 months, doing the McGill big 3 for the last 6-8 weeks instead of what was originally prescribed by my PT.
I talked to my doctor, and she was like "yea you might just have chronic back pain", and offered to prescribe me drugs.
I'm not touching any prescriptions, besides an occasional ibuprofen during flare ups. I fully believe I can fix this with PT, but am starting to feel discouraged.
Any advice would be amazing, thanks
MRI Results:
Central disc protrusion at the L5-S1 level. Mild effacement of the ventral CSF space. No significant central canal stenosis or neuroforaminal stenosis

cave painting?
i dreamt i lost controll of myself sent into a trance like rage no matter how hard i tried i couldent stop hurting people and destroying things untill i passed out? it was like i was floating in a void feeling like i was spinning but didnt know what direction was up then it felt like my body got sucked into a wormhole untill it stopped and i became very aware i was asleep but felt almost as if something was very wrong wrong with me untill i looked up i was in a cave really confused i looked up and saw the painting before a man showed up and said its a shame i replied with what is and he stated with a almost earie uncanny looking face? i had to tell you something important but it seems like you don't exactly have the time to discuss it i woke up in a cold sweat

My dad unexpectedly passed away from a heart attack a little over a week ago. Initially, I was extremely upset and felt this overwhelming sadness especially when I was home with my family. These last few days I've felt kind of numb, empty, and like I'm on autopilot. The lack of feeling right now, especially as someone who is traditionally very sensitive and feels emotions in a big way, is making me feel kind of guilty or like I'm not grieving "normally". I'm worried that I'll be perceived as being extremely cold or like I didn't love my dad just because of the numbness I'm experiencing. Has anyone else gone through something similar?

Please pardon my incoming french. Im 31, I'm active and fit. I've been noticing caffeine affects me more and more everyday as I get older. I wake up at 8 30 - 9am, drink my first cup around 9 30. The first cup is always amazing. I feel amazing, the day is amazing. Everything is fantastic. Then a few hours go by and I gradually start to feel like shit.
First, my armpits start sweating. In fact, my armpits have sweat so much from caffeine that I constantly battle a yeast infection that comes and goes on my armpits. Afterwards, I start to feel tired / unwell. This is when I take my second cup. The second cup is never as good as the first. It works, but there is a perfect amount of caffeine that I have to balance with the second cup, or I'm off the coffee teeter totter and I feel like shit. Then a few hours later, usually around 4 or 5pm, I take my third cup. When my third cup happens I feel like garbage, but after 7pm or so I feel normal. 7pm till 12 - 1am when I go to bed I feel the most normal, I feel even, and my arm pits stop sweating.
For the last month I've been trying to quit caffeine. So far I haven't done it methodologically. Sort of like when you are trying to save money but not sitting down and planning it out. So I've been trying to, you know, just not have that third cup, not have the second one, ect. Today I realized, caffeine is not going down without a fight and is not fucking around.
Today I had large cold brew in the morning (substantially more than my usual morning cup). I did not have my second cup. Neither did I had my third. I was sitting on my couch and got up to have some dinner. When I stood up and walked to the kitchen I had this feeling of impending doom and almost like I was going to pass out. I was scared. I had an internal dialog "No way this is from the caffeine. Surely it can't do this to me. There most be something bad going on here. Maybe I should call 911." I told my gf I didn't feel good and had to take a walk. Before I went I said to myself "This is most likely the caffeine." So I grabbed coffee grounds from the coffee jar and ate those suckers raw. Holy shit I'm an addict I thought to myself. I just grabbed raw coffee grounds from the fucking jar like a deprived lunatic.
On the walk I could barely keep my head up. I could walk fine, but felt awful. Gradually I was coming back to life, about an hour after the walk I felt normal again. During the time I was back from the walk I looked up my symptoms and came to this beautiful subreddit and binge read posts on here for 45min straight. I'm not alone thank God. Now I'm writing this post.
This has to end. I can't do this anymore. I'm going to measure out every single one of my dosages of coffee everyday. I'm going to only make my coffee at home and use my french press with the SAME exact grounds every time. I'm going to measure the grounds out, and then measure the amount of liquid coffee I'm pouring in a cup. I'm going to gradually lessen my dosage overtime. I have no idea by how much everyday, but I'm dedicated here. Not a drip of caffeine will be consumed outside of this regime.
Feel free to give me some pointers.

The start of the game was amazing. I even gave up twice before finishing it just to play it again. Because I got lucky with some OP cards (squirrel ant totem) and didn't want to cheat my self through it. I loved so much that you could "cheat" a board game with the various items by sacrificing body parts.
When part 2 came around I didn't enjoy the atmosphere at all, but at least it was super fast and easy to go through it and the new cards kept me entertained.
But jesus part 3 just is not for me with a boss that was probably the bastard baby of reddit and 4chan. I have never been more annoyed by a video game character in my entire life. He is constantly smug and at the same time so completely pathetic. And the whole stage is just a cakewalk I think I died only once to it, but god if this didn't just infuriate me more because I wasn't having fun mindlessly going through it.
I hated the robot aesthetic too. They really made it as cold and soulless as they wanted to, but for me I preferred Leshy's deck, basement and feel way more. Sacrifices, blood galore, crazed hunters and just the raw feeling of live and death really hooked me in.
I really liked the aesthetic of the undead scribe too. The animations of the undeads on the board were cool as fuck. I honestly thought that there would be just as much gameplay with her as the robot guy.
Also jesus christ orobouros is ridicilous ? I skipped it during my entire run, but everyone here is posting some insane stats on it. I had a 1 health 7/7 triple attack at one point and thought that was easy mode.
Just sharing my thoughts. Overall I liked the game, but the transition from the lively(and deadly) Part 1 into the pixel world and that cold robot world just didn't cut it for me.

Hey folks! I need a new wood fence (approx 90 feet). I was quoted $55 per foot. Does that seem expensive? I feel like it is. Do any of you have any recommendations for fence guys? Thanks in advance!