Victoria justice 2nd grade

I don’t even know where to begin. 26F. I have had a lot go on in my life (not to short anyone else, because life is screwed). I’m just going to tell my story because I don’t know what else to do. As I’m telling this story please keep in mind, I don’t have all of the information and I’ve been kind of surviving up until this point. When I was 3-8 months old my father packed me and the dog up, and left my mother without telling her while she was at work back in 1997(Florida to Pennsylvania). having no idea because I was an infant, going in to toddler my dad loved the crap out of me. I felt safe, and cared for. My dad ended up sending me to a catholic school for 1st- 5th. started growing and realized that I have a difficultly keeping concentrated, was way friendler than everyone. @ 9 years old he had me speak to my mother for the first time and all she said was mean shit about him and I cried and hung up.
I had noticed my dad started to grow aggravated with me, and would say some down right mean shit. Not let me have my own personality, Embarrassed me by writing mean shit about what I did wrong on sticky notes and would tell me to keep in on my shirt all day at school. Back me into corners like he was a big bully if I didn’t do things right/his way. He through a birthday party for me when I was 11 and then was like “look at how nobody showed up” when he was most likely the reason they didn’t. Before sixth grade started, he moved us back down to Florida. So from catholic school to public. I noticed bigger changes in him and it was a complete 180 for me, going from a religious school to a public. It was like there was no longer the happiness in him and he would pick on me and bully me, when I started going to public schools I was bullied as well there. I would come home from school crying and he stated “I’ll give you a reason to cry”. Would be very physically abusive. Would even threaten to send me to my mothers which I was scared of because of the mean shit she said when I was 9. He sent me to another girls mom to learn about “women things”- literally just how to shave my f**** legs. I eventually went to the schools therapist in 6th grade and tried to tell them what was going on without getting my dad in trouble or him hearing about it and doing something worse, that didn’t happen. I guess I blacked out most of my memory’s about things because of the way I needed to cope but I remember writing him letters and begging him to talk to me because he started just not speaking to me at all, would leave me at home while he worked and told me to lock the doors and hide. I eventually tried to disconnect from it all in my head to go with the motions. Eventually before 8th grade started we moved up to Maryland and moved in with my cousins because he had claimed he lost a lot of money in Florida( in recent years he told me the school was trying to get him charged for the things I said back then to the therapist.) we became more distant because he wasn’t very friendly and would hide in the basement. Moved into my god parents house because eventually he had enough issues with my cousins he didn’t want to be “there problem” anymore. We became more distant as he would just hide in there basement as well, I’d go down there just to talk with him and he’d just be this mean person I didn’t know anymore. Still being a very emotionally abusive person. I got arrested 3 months before graduation because I had weed and cigarettes at school.
When I was 18 I moved into my 2nd boyfriend’s house. Not a good idea looking back at it because it was totally a trap house and I had no clue what I was doing there.(drugs) that’s what I was doing. He had no clue & didn’t care to notice. A lot of co-dependence was there because I stayed there for 4 years.
In 2018 (I was 18 at this point) he was going delirious for about 4-5days and would tell me stuff like take my stuff, I’m going to die ect. Wouldn’t let me take him to the hospital, just wanted to die, thank god my god mother was there when he collapsed and had a ambulance come and get him, he went into a diabetic coma it lasted for 1.5 months or so, he came out of it and basically told me he should’ve died and that he wanted to.
That made things worse mentally for me, I did a lot of fucked up things in the 4 years I was with the boy I was doing drugs with, he also was very physically abusing, as so was I at this point. We broke up and I did everything I could not to go back to living with my father who ended up with enough money to buy a place in my name. I ended up living there for a while and nothing good came from it.
A lot of drinking and boyfriends and dumb shit happened and I was completely out of it until I got a DWI in late 2019. Really woke me up. I started wanting better for myself, knowing I could just didn’t know how. I got into YET ANOTHER RELATIONSHIP, and thought it was good for me, two years in we decided we were going to buy a home (23 years old at this point) we bought it and a lot was wrong with the house and clearly the boy I bought it with because he was into a really odd kink, had girls in his phone, and would not introduce me to his female friends. On top of that he did not doing ANYTHING to help me fix the home. A year into owning the home I broke up with him and lost my job. I was depressed for 7-8 months, got another job and about 1.5 years after the break up someone came up to me and asked me on a date. (I still lived with my ex in the house we own). (I was completely honest with him and up front about everything.)
He has shown me grace, kindness, and compassion. He had shown me a whole new perspective in life. He also had gone through a really traumatic past. Starting of the relationship was rough, I was feral and he gets defensive really easy. We have stuck this thing out and I am 7 months in therapy and he just had his first session in years today. I would like to consider this success. I just changed therapist because the one I had been going to wasn’t as good as I would’ve liked them to be. We are now 1.5 years in, and I’m still trying to figure myself out and currently won’t hear from the new therapist until the 21st of may. I’m struggling mentally but not half as bad as I used to. I guess I’m just looking for new perspectives and some positive words at this point. My boyfriend and I are on opposite schedules for the next 2.5 months and I can tell I’m still very co-dependent, in my head I’m hoping his new therapist doesn’t tell him we are not right for each other. I’m so full of stress and trauma it’s crazy. I don’t even know who I am or if I fully feel happy in any situation.
Any kind words would help. Sorry for the all over the place read.

I don't really no where to start. I feel I've lost myself, consumed with anxiety and guilt and fear and regret and I fear, this new fear, that it's going to be the end of me if I don't start to get it out in some way, shape or form.
I guess I'll begin at the beginning...
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I had a difficult childhood with fairly neglectful parents. A mother who openly expressed she never felt she really stepped into her mom shoes until she gave birth to my younger sister, who is three years younger than me. She is my only sibling. My mother told me when I was a kid that she "had to love me", but when my sister came around "she was finally a mother and over the moon", or simply "I always always wanted a girl". I'm not sure if this could be attributed to Post-partum depression, not that she ever researched that or was daignosed with it. That's probably just me trying to pardon my mother or something to the effect. She was 17 when she had me and I'm sure times were different then, my parents both were raised religious, father christian, mother mormon. Maybe their guilt. I ask myself why they brought me into this world if I wasn't wanted to begin with. Or, give me up for adoption to a set of guardians that would have loved me better. I know I was an accident and that's not what gets me down, I get that life be lifing and what happened happened. My difficulties stem from the feeling that my presence never gave my mother any sense of purpose, responsibility or love, or concern. She was emotionally unavailable to me virtually my entire life and I feel like that caused many issues later in my life and how I perceive myself and what I deserve. Coupled with the fact that my neglect met such extremes that I am frankly shocked that I was never picked up by child care services, maybe things were different in the 90's. I'm not sure, I was just a child then.
Much of my upbringing I didn't receive a lot of the things most people would consider essential. As a baby my crib was the sock drawer, then I grew large enough to have a closet, then slept on the floor of a walk-in closet, then I had a single bed from what I recall for maybe a year or maybe two years and I remember feeling metal springs poke me in the my ribs and I recall it being uncomfortable enough for me to move back to sleeping on the floor next to the ratty old used mattress my father found from who knows where. I remember feeling like I had to keep that secret, that the mattress they gave me was uncomfortable enough for me to sneak sleeping on the floor next to it. I think I was really afraid as coming across as ungrateful. My father came from a third world country, so the "gratefullness issue" was address frequently by my mom because "I don't have it even half as bad as what my father had to endure. And she was probably right. But it just silenced me ultimately, didn't put things into a mature context for me. I just learned that I can't complain about anything ever. Anyway, that trend didn't really change when I grew older. grade 9-10 I was sleeping on the living room couch so my sister could have privacy and a bedroom to exist in for herself - which I realize is important for an individual so I encouraged her to have the bedroom. Although I figured my parents expected me to do this for my sister regardless. I was okay with making sacrfices for those I love, it was instilled in me from a very very young age.
I do feel like my father took advantage of me in the form of labour as well, having to do custodial work with my father from 10pm to 3am, at two highschools I believe he was contracted, at that young age I honestly enjoyed just spending time with my father I think, working alongside him. When I was in grade 2 and 3 I had garbage bag duty for all the students bathrooms, and I remember loving snapping the bags open by rushing air into the bag and making it blow up like a baloon. I remember the scary unlit shadowy hallways that I couldn't perceive the ends of. No bodies to see, it felt eerie but exciting in a way - like it was a whole different world.
School was a different experience for me. It was very stressful, my parents had to move a few times a year because they would dodge rent or just generally be selfish with their dual income. They loved to party hard on the weekends. I remember wondering why my father did this to himself all the time. Hoping that we could spend quality time on a saturday, but he wouldnt get out of bed until just before dinner. I didn't really understand hangovers or alcoholism and how it meant our plans would get cancelled. I think I remember trying to wrap my head around willful self-poisoning for entertainment and how could that be more enjoyable then spending time with your son? I couldn't tell my mother why I was so sad about it. Why I didn't want to move again and again and again. Why I found it so difficult to make new friends everytime I had to switch schools. Why I couldn't just do one single full school year with one class of students. It was so hard and at the time, I didn't know anything different. It was so hard to make friends and I think it created this approach to making a "new family" of friends when I became a teenager and young adult.
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I remember always wanting to be a "good kid". The "best kid" for my parents. I feel like my parents attached this moniker to me that made things harder for me to mature into a rounded adult later in life. My parents always flaunted me as this point of accomplishment, the accomplishment that I was "so extremely well behaved". I would strive to be super polite, and a good host, try to help out when my parents had their friends over, literally fill their cups when the opportunity presented themselves. I think I did this because I must have made the conclusion that if I was quiet, super polite, helpful and useful then I had value. That I could be loved. That I could earn this love from my parents through acts of service.
I remember feeling like my sister and I had extremely different experiences growing up. When my parents were at work I took care of her, cleaned and cooked. one time my sister told my mom to eff off when she was 5 and I was 8. My mind was blown. I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that she had the bravery and courage to defy my mother. Looking back, my sister was just mirroring the language she learned from my parents from whenever they fought. I remembering seriously worrying and getting scared that my father was going to belt her, or use the coat hanger, which was his preference with me. I feel like my mom was always checked out and I'm hurt that she allowed my father to take his rage out on me. That my mom could care less about me being beat, but never my sibling. It was very confusing and difficult for me to process. Not that I really processed it much as a kid. I honestly just wanted to be loved and be the best child possible. Honestly though, 'm seriously so glad that my sister was spared all of that complete non-sense. I don't wish that on anyone in the world. There were some punishments where he would walk in and tell me to pull my pants down without explanation. I have memories of tearing up and saying I didn't know why this was happening, asking what I did wrong and he would just remind me that if I resisted then I would get it worse and to hurry up and get ready. My father has since apologized. I think it is how he was raised. I didn't know what to say in response, but I told him I loved him and it's in the past. But I don't know if I was being honest when I said that. My mother would still gaslight me to this day if any of this became topic of discussion, not that I'm guessing. A year ago she told me that much of my pained memories were false and this never happened. My father on the other hand typically stays pensive and unchallenging.
It seems so damned crazy writing all of this out, it feels like a heartbreaking novel and not my life at all. But it was and is my life. I have difficulties opening up and expressing my feelings and advocating for myself when the moments are true and appropriate to do so. I know it's the healthier way to communicate, but I was literally taught to stay quiet and be useful. Fast forward 20-25 years and I'm going to be 35 and I feel like just ending it all. Every year my birthday passes and I'll get a text from my family happy birthday. But they know I'm in a difficult place, they know I miss them, they know I love them and forgive them, I try the high road whenever I can but I just don't see the point anymore. they won't celebrate my life and existence, but they'll throw family gatherings for each other, birthdays, christmas, fathers day and mothers day.
On that note, another mother's day has recently passed and my mother never invited me over, I texted my father three weeks in advance in hopes of securing a time to come over and celebrate my mothers life with my family as a family. I felt particularly stung this mother's day when they celebrated and didn't text or call to invite me over. I live in the same small town so it's easy to hop over. I literally live three blocks away.
Anyway, my mother was diagnosed with cancer over christmas this year and I have been worrying for my mother ever since and thinking about my life with her and the mortal coil and the finite mount of time I may have with her. I feel like there is a large empty part in my heart that wishes my mother and I could go grab a coffee together. She can show me her ipad app art that she has been really excited about for a couple years now. She loves showing off her digital art and I love seeing her joy and how proud she is about her art. I just don't know why she couldn't feel the same for me, her only son. Maybe I'm just a her dissapointment.
I dropped out of highschool and left the family home when I was 16. I just couldn't work for my dad during the night AND go to highschool AND socialize. Something had to give. Unfortunately it was highschool and my parents didn't really care about that at all. They were just... fine with it. they supported my sister through college and she was fortunately able to graduate with a veterinary degree of sorts. she still lives with them now as she pays off her student debt, but I left and travelled and worked on music for over a decade so I admit that I was entirely out of the family picture for some time. But as I get older, not wanting to repeat the mistakes of my parents I fear that that is precisely what's been creeping up in my life.
five years ago I met the absolute most wonderful human being and I am so lucky to have my partner in my life. She and I are engaged now and set to be married. I hoped that the news would overwhelm my parents with excitement and joy. Maybe a facebook post about their son, share some family pictures or something. But they did nothing at all. I think they showed off pictures of the trip to Mexico that week instead.
I just don't really understand how I'm this unworthy of their love and unfortunately now I'm realizing that illusion that I am unworthy has infected my relationship with my fiance. I love her so much but when I can't fix everything in her life I feel like I am the failure and the guilt overhelms me so much and the guilt is such a strong motivator for me, and it usually motivates me into becoming the biggest doormat in the world. I've never worked harder for a relationship or invested this much energy. I feel she deserves it. But I don't advocate for myself. So I build up resentment. Like I clean the house constantly and work and help bail out of her bad spending habits and cover her rent without question and this and that. To be clear, she doesn't take advantage of me and that's not how I feel about it. But I do let this annoyance build up inside of me because I don't know how to communicate my feelings in a healthy way. I'm scared I'll lose the person if I speak up, or I'll be gaslit. Again, that's not my partner that gaslights. That's just generally how I feel I'll be treated if I open up with people. It all goes back to my childhood. It's affected every friendship and work relationship I've had since.
When I was 20-ish, 15 years years ago I did the classic, "seek the relationship that most comfortably fits into the patterns you experienced with your parents". And so I trapped myself in a horrific and extremely damaging relationship with a girl I'll call K. She has undiagnosed bipolaBPD, she would never seek help but self-medicate. She ended up in the hospital maybe four times for self-harming and this where she was considered to have these diseases by a few doctors on different occasions. Anway, it turned into a relationship of abuse and it wasn't exactly new territory for me. I was ashamed in that 8 year relationship. I wanted out so bad, but she would threaten to unalive everytime I tried to get away. Of course, some weeks would go by and i would get my hair pulled out of my scalp, a knife waving in the air in front of my face, spat in the face, kicked, punched, bit, a pot of freshly boiled ramen soup thrown in my face and eyes. What's worse is that I seeked police intervention on multiple occasions. Every single time the police visited, they talked me out of pressing charges, asking me " well if she doesn't have any place to go, then do you have a place you can stay at, or the shelter?". twice they talked me out of a restraining order, that legal proceedings would take forever. Adn de-escalting me from wanting to take measures to ensure my safety because she may end up on the street as a result. To this day, I absolutely wish I advocated for myself here and pushed for a restraining order. I'm so mad at myself for not doing so.
Unfortunately, fast forward a couple years into that relationship and one evening everything would finally hit the fan. I told her to never touch me again and I absolutely meant it. she had just yanked out the largest chunk of my hair to date, to the point where my scalp was bleeding and I could even see epidermal matter still attached to the folicle ends that were in her clenched fingers. My head bled a bit and I pushed her off of me. Telling her that I needed to leave, that I was walking to my secure jam space just a 10 minute walk away. It had a leather couch in a cold concrete basement, but hey at least I would be safe for the night and I could play my drums and try and blow off this anxiety and fear in a way that was safe albeit very noisy.
She hated that I wanted to leave and convinced herself I would never return. To be fair, that was the energy I had. I never wanted to see her face again and have her name on my lips after that night. So her tactic was simple, to threaten me with calling the cops and tell them that I violently pushed her. I called her bluff and said "go ahead and I will just tell them everything you've done - yet again. All I am doing is going to the space to sleep, I said, maybe play drums." She called the cops and told them she was pushed into a wall, and she felt very unsafe. Which yes, I did push her off me when she attacked me. In the past, I tried various tactics, to run away didn't work, she just always chased me down. Or sometimes I would just sit there while she was violent against me and I just "dissapeared" kind of like how I would when my dad used his coat hanger. This time, I just pushed her off of me, I was done with the relationship at that point and we both knew it. Anyway, she called the police, they arrived and when questioned I told them that I pushed her off of me in self-defence. I was drinking that night and it didn't help my case as I was arrested without question that evening and I was charged on the spot without question with domestic assault. It devasted me. I asked the police how this could happen lawfully. That she is an abuser and there is a history of this multiple times. That I've requested a restraining order. They explained that in quebec the laws are a little different and in the case domestic cases, if there is a male aggressor against a female, then the male is automatically charged to the fullest extent. I was absolutelyu devasted by this. I can't tell you the amount of fear and anger I felt in that jail cell that night.
I feel so incredibly betrayed by the justice system, keep in mind, this is law that from what I understand is only in Quebec, I was there for music at the time with an old friend whom I am no longer in contact with. I don't think the rest of the country operates under law in this way. Now I appreciate that they are vigilant about woman abuse victims, but the law shouldn't be this absurdly biased. It just doesnt feel just and fair to me. Covert abusers shouldn't be able to take advantage of the justice system in this way, but it happens.
It was an awful experience, I was homeless for a couple months afterward, not allowed to retrieve my belongings, so I lost all of my life "crap" that I had built up, years of hardwork and investment. I mention this because I realize later in life that I have intense collecting behaviour. maybe as a self-soothing behaviour. But I love building up collections of my hobby stuff as I have many and I feel they keep me regulated and it's a form of therapy for me. In any case, I lost everything when I left that whole situation. It sucks, although ultimately it's clearly best that I got out of that dreadful circumstance. I flew across the country to my hometown and to be closer to my family and old friends from highschool. It's quite a small town mind you.
Unfortunately, my classic tendency to hide and not advocate for myself created an opportunity for my abusive ex. A year following those events, despite me assuring her that I had to block her because I flew away to start a new life provinces away. That I wished her the best. That I even promised I would never tell a soul what she did to me. Not to mention that unfortunately we live in a society where nobody really has an ounce of sympathy for a male abuse victim. I had every intention to keep that promise, but she couldn't trust me ultimately. I think her logic was maybe to just beat her ex to "the punch". Kill or be killed or something like that. I don't live my life like that so I don't really know what her plan was. But she made a bunch of posts on various social media platforms for all of our mutual friends, music friends, coworkers etc. that the relationship was over and she was free. That she got out of a cycle of abuse and she was ready to start a new chapter of her life. She never used my name, just that she was glad she got away from her toxic and abusive ex once and for all.
It was exactly like that night a year prior, she threatened me with this outcome she could design for me, and I called her on her bluff by saying I was still going to block her and I can't control what she does with her life or how she conducts herself, but that I was out and to never contact me ever again. She made me regret that decision.
The posts she made that day got so many likes and support from so many of our mutual friends, even musician mates that were closer to me than her, and it absolutely destroyed me, not just internally but socially. I no longer make music anymore and it hurts to go outside into the world because it feels like everybody sees me as this monster. And still I don't have a voice to inform anyone otherwise - except my family and my fiance. I have no friends anymore. They all left my life with the belief that I did all of these horrible and awful things.
I just don't trust people anymore as a result and it's just caused me to become extremely bitter and depressed. I ruminate on the past, maybe in attempts to fix the past so I can move on. So I could do better, so I don't have to punish myself for my mistakes in the past. But it just reopens every emotional wound I have and they never get a chance to heal. That was maybe 7 years ago now and I'm still replaying these events in my head every single morning for about 1 - 2 hrs. Then I go completely numb for the majority of the rest of the day, shallow breathing, and the mildest sadness that mascarades as fatigue and disinterest.
There are some days where I seriously fear for the future and I just feel like every cruel soul will inherit this earth and that's the future, they built this world of suffering and they deserve to inherit it. Their toxic flag staked so deep into the earth in reclamation. The future isn't holding any seats for people like us. I'm so heartbroken and defeated. I feel like white-wolfing my fiance because she deserves better than this traumatized person that hides from the world. I feel like giving her my collection of collections so she can sell it all off and pay off her 10k of credit debt, then with this act of kindness I can go out not feeling like a guilt-ridden defeated loser. And leave on a high note.
When I'm alone, I get trapped in these ruminating cycles and it's the angriest I ever get. It's reached the point where I feel like I am actually reliving all this past trauma every morning and I can't do it anymore. I just feel like I am so at the end of whatever this ride was.
I don't have any friends anymore and everyone but my fiance thinks I am a monster and it's just unbearable.
I just don't even know. I am even afraid that someone will read this post and suss through all of this and make the connection. Then I'll get another new email or random throwaway account with an insta message that says "I told you you would never be able to get over me. You can move on, but you will never be able to erase the past. Never truly. You know where to find me."
It's haunting and it's poisonous. I just feel haunted and poisoned and I don't know if there is a snake oil potent enough or antitode true enough to get me back to the generous, lighthearted, energetic kid I once was.
To whoever was willing to read through all of this, thank you for hearing me out. I don't know what advice I am even asking for here. I'm hoping just speaking this out into the world in some way can alleviate this misery. I don't know.

I had to go over an assignment with my 2nd grade class and the topic was r-controlled words. We had gotten to the word “Cork” and someone was like what is that? I said “a round wooden piece typically found in wine bottles or water bottles”. A student asked me again later and I repeated it and she was like “that’s not appropriate”… Ok maybe I should’ve said olive oil or something but let’s be real… corks are mostly used in wine bottles like why tf was that a big deal

Day 1 one the Homelander Community Matchup Ranking is nearly done. The first four that are being eliminated are:
1st Place: Ladybug (Miraculous)
2nd Place: Blossom (Power Puff Girls)
3rd Place: Springtrap (Five Nights at Freddy's)
4th Place: Michael Myers (Halloween)
Tied for 5th Place: Makima (Chainsaw Man) and Victoria (Hero Killer)
Kinda sucks one of my favorites are here but oh, well. Vote for the final combatant to be eliminated first. I'll post the results in a few hours.
Edit: Shit, I forgot the see results option.
View Poll

in middle school i was on presidential-award-honor-roll thingy or some dumb shit, and the smartest in the school. then 9th grade came and i fucked it up. became the dumbest person in school. bottom 75%. straight b's for both semesters. in sophomore year i had more a's, but for ap classes i got b's so my weighted gpa is still bad. i'm in 2nd semester of sophomore year and it's not looking good. best-case scenario is i have a 4.1 weighted gpa and 3.6 unweighted by the time i apply for colleges. realistically i'd be somewhere in the 3's for both. i know it's not terrible but my parents are pressuring me to go to duke and yale and comparing me every second. i'm losing it. people around me are making fun of state schools & going "oh ga tech is a safety school" and it's making me go insane. ga tech is like my dream school. i have a really solid sat score, 1580 + somewhat good ecs, but i still feel like my dream colleges, or any good colleges, will reject me and that my parents are disappointed. they are. any inputs? stories? thoughts? help?

I will try and keep this short. In my 2nd last year of high school, towards the end of the year my father passed away from cancer. The funeral came along and I had a couple of girls from my friend group come to the funeral. At the time of the funeral they were very supportive.
For context I went to a small private girls school with approximately 40 students in the grade, everyone knew everyone and were all close. At this point I had only told that group of girls about my father’s death. The majority of my year level knew about my father’s cancer.
Fast forward 2 weeks later, my bf at the time told me one of the girls posted a be reel ,15 minutes after the funeral in their car. I approached the girl in the group chat (as she never checks her private DM’s) and asked her, she told me she had taken a photo in the car after the funeral. She showed me the photo. The photo wasn’t as bad as my ex bf made it out to be but here’s the thing… in the photo one of the girls was covering her face up, which to me looked like she was crying, but apparently she was “laughing” because they were playing music to try and “lighten “ the mood. Now I have nothing against trying to lighten the mood, the only thing that annoyed me was the fact that she would post a be real, in black funeral clothes with the other girls all wearing black, with one of them looking like they are crying.
I told her that I felt like that was an invasion of me and my families privacy, since this was on a school day, people would notice easily if a whole friend group was absent, as well as the fact that some teachers who came to support me would also be absent too. When I brought this up I got told I was being dramatic. This is the exact words I was sent
“ Was it of you? No. I would understand if we were actually still there or it was mid ceremony or something but we were not even at the venue still, so dont see the issue. I would totally understand the issue with that go off all u want thats so inconsiderate but it was a good 15 mins after we had left”.
After this they totally ignored me for the next 2 years of high school.I understand that people aren’t going to support me through my grief, they move on with their lives and that’s understandable. But the fact that they wouldn’t even talk to me, ignore me on my high school graduation night as it fell on to my fathers death anniversary most likely because it made them feel uncomfortable really hurt me.

Hello guys! I’m a 2nd Sem (2nd year) Transferee sa USC. And ang grade cut off nila for transferee is 2.0 unya akong grades sakong major before (Political Theory 1, Comparative Politics, IR, etc) kay 2.0 up HAHAHA so I was advised to retake😭
Then gamay raman or halos wa man siguro mag summer this coming June-July so I have another option na mag tutorial class.
Pero ang naka pait ron mangutana tana ko unsay difference sa summer class and tutorial class kay dili jod nako matimingan si miss irish sa office and wala pa sab kaykoy kaila na nakabalo ana kay puro sila regular🫠
pls help

Hello guys! I’m a 2nd Sem (2nd year) Transferee sa USC. And ang grade cut off nila for transferee is 2.0 unya akong grades sakong major before (Political Theory 1, Comparative Politics, IR, etc) kay 2.0 up HAHAHA so I was advised to retake😭
Then gamay raman or halos wa man siguro mag summer this coming June-July so I have another option na mag tutorial class.
Pero ang naka pait ron mangutana tana ko unsay difference sa summer class and tutorial class kay dili jod nako matimingan si miss irish sa office and wala pa sab kaykoy kaila na nakabalo ana kay puro sila regular🫠
pls help

Originally my admin said id be moving to 2nd grade next year. Today as we met to sign EOY paperwork I was informed/told to consider moving to 3rd.
If I move to 2nd Id likely move again the following year. Generally not opposed to it but I feel like its a big leap from 4th to 2nd.
If I move to 3rd, Id pretty much stay there until I retire as theres always set amount of 3rd grades.
Im going into year 6 with my doctorate. Gen Ed K-6 cert. Experience in 4th and 5th contracted. Experience SPED preK- Post secondary SPED.

Looking for pro tips and recommendations on my upcoming plan.
In August 2026, I will retire from my career at the age of 38 and take an initial six month sabbatical to travel with my family (wife and two kids). In 2026 my kids will be 12 years old (7th grade) and 7 years old (2nd grade) and we plan on using Acellus Academy.
The following is my first draft of the six month itinerary. I must admit that I thinks it’s a bit too much at this point but would only refine it from here on out and most likely cut things and stay at places a bit longer. Remember first draft.
I would love any recommendations and or feedback. We are pretty set on the school and will try it as a summer school tool in order to get my kids used to Acellus Academy. I know that two years out may seem like a far out timeline but in my life, time flies by really fast.
Also pretty key to this would be a monthly budget of $5000 to $6000 USD.
Here is the full 6-month family vacation itinerary:

1. Costa Rica (August - September 2026):
   
   • San Jose (2 weeks)
     • Stay in Barrio Amón or Barrio Escalante ($400-$600/month Airbnb)
     • Visit Pre-Columbian Gold Museum, Mercado Central, National Theater
     • Day trip to Poás Volcano National Park
   • Arenal/La Fortuna (4 weeks)
     • Stay in El Castillo or El Forti ($500-$700/month Airbnb)
     • Hike Arenal Volcano National Park, go ziplining, hot springs
     • Visit La Fortuna Waterfall, whitewater rafting Balsa River
   • Manuel Antonio (4 weeks)
     • Stay in Manuel Antonio or Quepos ($500-$800/month Airbnb)
     • Explore Manuel Antonio National Park, surfing, beaches
     • Day trip to Rainmaker Conservation Park, sportfishing
2. Peru (October - November 2026):
   
   • Cusco (4 weeks)
     • Stay in San Blas or Santa Ana ($400-$600/month Airbnb)
     • Plaza de Armas, Qoricancha Temple, Sacsayhuaman ruins
     • Day trip to Sacred Valley, markets like Pisac
   • Aguas Calientes (2 weeks)
     • Stay in town center ($300-$500/month Airbnb)
     • Hike Inca Trail or train to Machu Picchu
     • Hot springs, tour of Machu Picchu ruins
   • Lima (2 weeks)
     • Stay in Miraflores or Barranco ($400-$700/month Airbnb)
     • Plaza de Armas, Larco Museum, Miraflores boardwalk
     • Pachacamac archaeological site
3. Ecuador (December 2026 - January 2027):
   
   • Quito (4 weeks)
     • Stay in La Mariscal or La Floresta ($500-$800/month Airbnb)
     • Old Town, Basilica, TelefériQo cable car
     • Cotopaxi National Park, Mindo Cloud Forest
   • Galapagos Islands (4 weeks)
     • Puerto Ayora, Santa Cruz ($600-$1000/month Airbnb)
     • Guided tours, giant tortoises, marine iguanas, wildlife
     • Snorkeling, diving, beaches like Tortuga Bay
   • Baños (2 weeks)
     • Stay in town center ($400-$600/month Airbnb)
     • Pailon del Diablo waterfall, hiking mountains
     • Ziplining, rafting, canyoning
4. Brazil (February - March 2027):
   
   • Rio de Janeiro (4 weeks)
     • Copacabana or Ipanema ($600-$900/month Airbnb)
     • Christ Redeemer, Sugarloaf, Copacabana Beach
     • Favela tour, samba show
   • Foz do Iguaçu (2 weeks)
     • Near Brazilian Falls ($400-$600/month Airbnb)
     • Iguazu Nat'l Park, boat under falls
     • Bird Park, Itaipu Dam
   • Manaus (4 weeks)
     • City center ($500-$800/month Airbnb)
     • Amazon Rainforest tour, piranha fishing
     • Meeting of Waters, Municipal Market
5. Argentina (April - May 2027):
   
   • Buenos Aires (4 weeks)
     • Palermo or San Telmo ($500-$800/month Airbnb)
     • Plaza de Mayo, La Boca, Recoleta Cemetery
     • Tango show, Tigre Delta day trip
   • El Calafate (2 weeks)
     • Near town center ($400-$600/month Airbnb)
     • Perito Moreno Glacier, Los Glaciares Nat'l Park
     • Boat tour of icebergs
   • El Chalten (2 weeks)
     • Town center ($400-$600/month Airbnb)
     • Hike Fitz Roy, Cerro Torre in Los Glaciares
     • Ice hiking, glacier tours
   • Mendoza (3 weeks)
     • Mendoza City ($400-$700/month Airbnb)
     • Winery/wine tours in Uco Valley, Lujan de Cuyo
     • Hiking, horseback riding in Andes foothills

Hi! In a frustrating dilemma right now, and I’d like to hear another person’s perspective on the matter.
I’m a BS MT graduate, currently in a gap year (to take the NMAT and to apply to med school, and to study for the board exam). The plan was always to take one gap year and proceed to med school afterwards. And thankfully, I got accepted into the school of my choice, UERM (which is recklessly the only school I applied to).
And I thought everything was set, and all I had to do was pay the reservation fee and eventually enroll into the program. Except, my parents suddenly told me they aren’t financially ready. Which I understand, but it’s just so frustrating to hear when you’re this close to the goal. (What did I take the NMAT for? What did I apply to the school for? What was all my anxiety for?) My parents have also never expressed any financial concerns beforehand, so I was really upset to have this problem sprung on me. (Note: I’ve already informed them about the reservation fee and tuition long before I was accepted)
Unfortunately, I don’t think I’m eligible for any entrance scholarships. I have a GWA of 1.5x and a NMAT PR of 90+, but I don’t hold a laude title due to one failing grade. I’m not sure if there are any other scholarships available. Also, I’m considering bringing up the academic scholarships available 2nd year onwards, but many people on here expressed how difficult it is to maintain it. (And I don’t know how long this financial constraint will last.)
So my options right now are the following:

1. Enroll into med school and try for the academic scholarship.
   
2. I’ll work abroad for a year, in a field that is unrelated to healthcare but earns a better wage than my undergraduate course. Afterwards, I’ll reapply to med school again.
   
3. I’ll simply give up on that dream and start working towards another career as an MLS abroad. (Also: Better wage, better work environment, etc.)
   

It’s just so difficult to accept because I thought everything has been set in stone and all I had to do was follow through. I’ve been debating between med school and working abroad for this entire year, but upon my acceptance (and seemingly nothing to stop me), I hardened my will to pursue medicine. Then at the very last minute… everything became very confusing again.
Anyway, thoughts?

so, it all began in 2nd grade i was just chilling in my seat when this RANDOM KID (lets just call him john) just walked up to me and said "i don't like you" AND PROCEED TO SLAP ME IN THE FACE. i obviously told on him and after i was done talking with the teacher HE LOOKED SUPRIZED LIKE HE DID NOTHING WRONG. (update later)

Hi great people of socialworkcanada
I've posted this about a couple of months ago - as of today (May 13th 2024), I got accepted to both UBC and UVic BSW, which are also the only two BSW programs I've applied to!
https://www.reddit.com/socialworkcanada/comments/1ac35vu/ubc_or_uvic_social_work_for_bsw/
My approach to the supplement forms for both schools:
UVic BSW - As for the UVic personal statement, I mostly focused on speaking about my heart to advocate for equity, and not necessarily about intersectionality. Though I still indirectly said something about my social position (saying I am a heterosexual cis-male, healthy, etc) based on a very confidential case where I assisted someone experiencing a crisis and needed immediate assistance for their safety.
As for the work/volunteer experience portion, I kind of discussed how my first social service experience led to B, then C, which eventually helped me perform better at D, blablabla... just like that. Like, for instance, at my practicum the Senior Caseworker taught me how to conduct casework with each client and I've explained how that casework experience later helped me at my actual paid social service job later on which was actually true.
UBC BSW - As for the UBC personal statement, I narrated my personal stories of being an immigrant who came to Canada (Victoria BC originally) as a Grade 8 student without family or family friends, etc and how that led to wanting to help people as a Social Worker. I did talk about my strengths which are immigrant experiences, compassion and cultural sensitivity and on the other hand, as for my limitations, I had to think from an intersectionality perspective and discussed on how my privileges as a young healthy man might be a barrier to understand people who are socially disadvantaged than I am.
As for the work/volunteer experience portion, I did focus more on the combined 500+ hour volunteer and practicum experience over my 6000+ work experience since the volunteer experience portion seemed to be more detailed than work experience with UBC's. I still kind of followed the same format as I did with my UVic work/volunteer experience portion. However, I referred to my job description in my job offer to write about my work experience in the UBC application.
Something to note:
Please keep in mind that I was probably quite advantaged in my application compared to some other BSW applicants due to the fact that I had lots of worked/volunteepracticum experience of total 6500+ hours and that I am a racial minority, also a 1st generation immigrant from overseas who moved to Canada and has lived in 3 different Canadian cities (Victoria, Toronto and Vancouver) by himself since the age of 14. Average GPA in the last 10 1st and 2nd year university courses including the 2nd year Intro Social Work courses were probably at least 3.60/4.33 ish.
If you're looking to apply to these schools in the next years, I hope this might be helpful in the slightest with your supplementary applications.

Lurking single mom who needs advice from dads if that’s okay!
My son is in 2nd grade this year and the 2nd half of the semester has been hell for him. It started off with his girl best friend in his class touching his privates at recess. So they’ve been permanently separated. Since then though he’s just encountered other various bullying. He got punched in the chest today by a 3rd grader, says he gets kicked in the balls by another girl in his class and she said if he tells she’s going to tell the teacher that he did it first and he would get in trouble, got pantsed by a different boy during lunch, etc.
Question 1.) are ALL of these normal things boys go through and we should just “deal with it”
Question 2.) how can i support my son and help him build up his confidence to stand up for himself?
Dad isn’t in the picture. I have a meeting with the principal and counselor tomorrow.
Thanks dads of Reddit!

Hi guys! I was inspired by the posts and the legit advices I read here, so I thought I should also share my story.
I got pregnant at 17 (now I'm 34) and my ex was 19 that time. I was about to turn 18 when I told my family and kahit almost prepared na lahat for my 18th bday, I chose to not have a big party and asked mom if I can just use the money for my birth. We were both students by then, he took Accountancy and I took Tourism. Since the term just started and I just enrolled, mom asked me to just finish the term. Yet, ex needs to find work ASAP because that's the right thing to do.
Fast forward, as an 18 yo pregnant teenager, of course it was high risk. Got admitted to a private hospital and mom took care of all the bills. Ex's salary is only enough to cover for my daily needs (cravings, vits, baby things, etc). Don't get me wrong, I am not the maluho at maselan type of preggy. He continued with work and I took care of my baby.
Fast fast forward. I live in QC and he's from Pque. It's literally north to south travel and he once asked if we can schedule staying home for a week then south (though he works in Q.Ave) palit palit kumbaga. His father gave him a car though, so I agreed kasi it's not much of a hassle for the baby naman since may car. That was the setup. Maybe he's just homesick and wants to be with his family kahit sya mahirapan everyday papasok. The first few weeks went fine until one day, I found out he's cheating. Mind you, not only 1 sidechick, but 3.
This was way back keypad phone days and I was bothered by the series of text msgs na naririnig ko sa phone nya. No passcodes, everything manual. He's taking a bath then, and I felt the urge na pakialaman yung phone. I don't normally do that, but it felt like GO GIRL YOU GOTTA CHECK IT TODAY. Then lo and behold, 1 girl was telling him she cooked their lunch. The other one was asking, sabay ba sila papasok. The other one is nagtatampo kasi di narereplyan. I felt betrayed of course, but remained calm (i'm proud cos when this happened I am under PPD). It wasn't easy. I just told him, "Bilisan mo na maligo at hinihintay ka ng 3 babae mo!", then never said anything about it.
I need to have a job so I can break up with him. I have my family to help me start again and I am positive I don't need his help. So I plotted the plan, that's to apply somewhere in Makati. Because of the cold shoulder, he then finally realized what I'm doing and became aggressive. For some reason, parang gusto nya ibalik ang dati, but for me it's a never. I believe in HE DID IT ONCE, HE'LL DO IT AGAIN type. I managed to get a job and escaped from the hell hole.
This is getting longer so here are the highlights: 1. When mom asked to meet his mom about the pregnancy, Tita said "So anong gagawin natin dyan?, which made my mom angry. She's insinuating that we should get the baby aborted. She even said "Sinira mo naman buhay ng anak ko.", like he's the girl in our relationship and I don't have a future waiting. Hence, my mom don't like his family.

1. I was battered when he found out I had a bf at work (technically we broke up from the day he cheated). I had to have sx with him para lang makaalis ng bahay every day. With that, I got pregnant with my 2nd child. This was technically, RPE, but I don't want to see it that way cos my baby was a blessing.
   
2. When we separated, he took my eldest and told me "BUHAYIN MO MAG ISA ANAK MO, AKIN TONG ISA". This means maghahati kami sa mga bata at wala ng pakialamanan. He even shoved to my face na di ko kaya bumuhay ng bata dahil wala ako matinong work.
   
3. I borrowed my eldest on my bday and never talked to them again. Why? Go, sue me. I am the mom. From then on, I took care of everything.
   

2024, my kids are now 15 and 13 years old. They're now at the age kung san they want to know what really happened. Growing up, I never told them the story, never even brainwashed them against their dad, I am not raised like that. I allowed his absence to tell the truth. My 13yo did a research, found her tita's and tito's in Facebook, asked me if she can message them. I said go ahead, but never ask anything from them. While my 15yo just wants to move forward with her life. This is becoming an issue with my kids kasi di sila magkasundo kung tatahimik ba or magpapakilala.
In all honesty, I want to see my ex again. I wanted to show him where I'm at, kung pano ko pinalaki mga anak ko ng wala sya, how beautiful and well mannered they are. And of course, I want to see how they will react. I am now working at a BPO for 6yrs, also owns a clothing business. Di pa rin ako mayaman, but I managed to achieve everything over the yrs as a single mom. Ito na yung sinabihan nya dati na DI MO MABUBUHAY MGA ANAK MO. I wanna shove this to his face.
I did my research too, found out he's in UK. Living a life he don't deserve. He abandoned my kids. He ignored me once when I asked help cos my bunso had dengue. Well, here's where I need the advice.

1. Should I keep silent and let things be? Pigilan yung bunso ko na hagilapin sya?
2. Do something and file a case for child support at kunin kung ano ang dapat matagal ng nabigay sa mga bata?

My 15yo wants peace, my 13yo wants justice. What should I do? Where to start?

Hi guys! I was inspired by the posts and the legit advices I read here, so I thought I should also share my story.
I got pregnant at 17 (now I'm 34) and my ex was 19 that time. I was about to turn 18 when I told my family and kahit almost prepared na lahat for my 18th bday, I chose to not have a big party and asked mom if I can just use the money for my birth. We were both students by then, he took Accountancy and I took Tourism. Since the term just started and I just enrolled, mom asked me to just finish the term. Yet, ex needs to find work ASAP because that's the right thing to do.
Fast forward, as an 18 yo pregnant teenager, of course it was high risk. Got admitted to a private hospital and mom took care of all the bills. Ex's salary is only enough to cover for my daily needs (cravings, vits, baby things, etc). Don't get me wrong, I am not the maluho at maselan type of preggy. He continued with work and I took care of my baby.
Fast fast forward. I live in QC and he's from Pque. It's literally north to south travel and he once asked if we can schedule staying home for a week then south (though he works in Q.Ave) palit palit kumbaga. His father gave him a car though, so I agreed kasi it's not much of a hassle for the baby naman since may car. That was the setup. Maybe he's just homesick and wants to be with his family kahit sya mahirapan everyday papasok. The first few weeks went fine until one day, I found out he's cheating. Mind you, not only 1 sidechick, but 3.
This was way back keypad phone days and I was bothered by the series of text msgs na naririnig ko sa phone nya. No passcodes, everything manual. He's taking a bath then, and I felt the urge na pakialaman yung phone. I don't normally do that, but it felt like GO GIRL YOU GOTTA CHECK IT TODAY. Then lo and behold, 1 girl was telling him she cooked their lunch. The other one was asking, sabay ba sila papasok. The other one is nagtatampo kasi di narereplyan. I felt betrayed of course, but remained calm (i'm proud cos when this happened I am under PPD). It wasn't easy. I just told him, "Bilisan mo na maligo at hinihintay ka ng 3 babae mo!", then never said anything about it.
I need to have a job so I can break up with him. I have my family to help me start again and I am positive I don't need his help. So I plotted the plan, that's to apply somewhere in Makati. Because of the cold shoulder, he then finally realized what I'm doing and became aggressive. For some reason, parang gusto nya ibalik ang dati, but for me it's a never. I believe in HE DID IT ONCE, HE'LL DO IT AGAIN type. I managed to get a job and escaped from the hell hole.
This is getting longer so here are the highlights: 1. When mom asked to meet his mom about the pregnancy, Tita said "So anong gagawin natin dyan?, which made my mom angry. She's insinuating that we should get the baby aborted. She even said "Sinira mo naman buhay ng anak ko.", like he's the girl in our relationship and I don't have a future waiting. Hence, my mom don't like his family.

1. I was battered when he found out I had a bf at work (technically we broke up from the day he cheated). I had to have sx with him para lang makaalis ng bahay every day. With that, I got pregnant with my 2nd child. This was technically, RPE, but I don't want to see it that way cos my baby was a blessing.
   
2. When we separated, he took my eldest and told me "BUHAYIN MO MAG ISA ANAK MO, AKIN TONG ISA". This means maghahati kami sa mga bata at wala ng pakialamanan. He even shoved to my face na di ko kaya bumuhay ng bata dahil wala ako matinong work.
   
3. I borrowed my eldest on my bday and never talked to them again. Why? Go, sue me. I am the mom. From then on, I took care of everything.
   

2024, my kids are now 15 and 13 years old. They're now at the age kung san they want to know what really happened. Growing up, I never told them the story, never even brainwashed them against their dad, I am not raised like that. I allowed his absence to tell the truth. My 13yo did a research, found her tita's and tito's in Facebook, asked me if she can message them. I said go ahead, but never ask anything from them. While my 15yo just wants to move forward with her life. This is becoming an issue with my kids kasi di sila magkasundo kung tatahimik ba or magpapakilala.
In all honesty, I want to see my ex again. I wanted to show him where I'm at, kung pano ko pinalaki mga anak ko ng wala sya, how beautiful and well mannered they are. And of course, I want to see how they will react. I am now working at a BPO for 6yrs, also owns a clothing business. Di pa rin ako mayaman, but I managed to achieve everything over the yrs as a single mom. Ito na yung sinabihan nya dati na DI MO MABUBUHAY MGA ANAK MO. I wanna shove this to his face.
I did my research too, found out he's in UK. Living a life he don't deserve. He abandoned my kids. He ignored me once when I asked help cos my bunso had dengue. Well, here's where I need the advice.

1. Should I keep silent and let things be? Pigilan yung bunso ko na hagilapin sya?
2. Do something and file a case for child support at kunin kung ano ang dapat matagal ng nabigay sa mga bata?

My 15yo wants peace, my 13yo wants justice. What should I do? Where to start?