Jennette mccurdy nude fake

People don’t talk about how you’re supposed to talk to a predator.
I’m a girl and somebody threatened to share my nudes if I didn’t send them more.
They don’t have nudes with my face in it but they do have a separate non-explicit selfie with my face.
They threatened to leak my nudes if I didnt send something that had my face in it. I was being sassy because I guess that’s just my way of reacting to situations like that, I said they were being a creep and that I’d be reporting them to law enforcement.
They didn’t seem to care and said they would leak my pics anyway
I also don’t know anything about them at all except their Snapchat username (which might be a fake account they use for sextortion and not their actual personal account but yeah)
I reported them and obviously snapchat didn’t do anything, I also blocked them which made me lose all the chats-
What’s your advice? Should I avoid reacting with sass in case that further provokes them to leak my images?

I was just a victim of Sextortion today!
A Instagram account had direct messaged me with mutual friends of following, we talked for a bit and it turned sexual of her wanting to play "sexy games"
She sent a video first and she even matched the profile picture of the account so ofc I thought it was real.
She wanted me to send video or photo back and as a man and it seeming so real, I was dumb and did it.
Some photos showed my face and videos showed of me jacking It.
After, she told me to message on telegram so she can send more photos and videos.
Before this, she made a group chat of all my following and followers saying "look what I got here" and sent everything in the group.
I left immediately and blocked the scammer on Instagram.
However, before that, I did add her on telegram and she then basically found out I blocked her on Instagram, making her send videos from her other phone where she captured our conversation, pictures and videos and said "don't try to play dumb" demanding $300 on the telegram.
I never sent money, just stalled them til I found a situation.
She went on to say she was gonna report to sky News and to FBIMOSTWANTED on Instagram with I believe a fake screenshot of her allegeded message to them saying "I want to report sexual harassment" of them even replying "what is the person's info" to then keep saying she was gonna ruin my life.
From there I even blocked on telegram.
I know now this is dumb and I was panicking bad. Where I even called for help by blackmail helpline, the prices were ridiculous and even that sounded like scams so I just hung up.
I've finally came and read some reddit post if people were having the same issue with these scammers.
With this said, I wanted to ask for advice and how real this is? Did all these people I'm following she added to group chat see my nudes, our messages and all?
I'm trying to keep reading reddit posts about this and as much more as I read, it does seem to just be a scam from people in Nigeria, etc for money and not to worry, just to block, deactivate my Instagram account and move on.
So far I have blocked them on Instagram and telegram to even deactivated my accounts, to even deleting the apps.

NSFW Warning
I truly don't know what to do anymore, I'm completely lost.
I'm a 20 year old male with autism and possible OCD.
There are many things I want to talk about so this is going to be really long and unorganised.
From age 18 up until last year, I viewed and masturbated to CSAM, and the way I went about getting hold of it is equally bad, if not worse. I cannot express in words the shame and remorse I feel for this.
I know most of you hate me now and I don't blame you, and I guarantee you I hate myself more for it.
The most confusing part about it is I don't find children attractive, there's no groinal response, urges, desires, arousal, nothing. I don't even take a second glance or stare, the only thing I have is intrusive thoughts. Recently I was sat in the corner of a crowded bus, and since there was nowhere else to sit, three boys, none of which could have been older than 13 sat by me, one next to me, and the other two across from me, to which I felt nothing of that nature whatsoever.
My instincts when I've been around children in recent times is purely parental and protective.
I'd never hurt a child, especially in that way, I'd slit my wrists or set myself on fire before I did that, I might just slit my wrists anyway.
I'd run into a burning building, I'd run out onto a busy road, I'd give my life to save a child's life.
I don't go out of my way to be around children, I find them for the most part irritating, I don't hate them though. Throughout my entire life I preferred the company of adults. I even live across from a playground ffs.
I'm scarred for life by some of the things I saw in those images and videos, how the hell could someone do something like that?! I want to climb through the screen and protect those kids, give them a hug and let them know nothing can hurt them anymore.
I stumbled across an image hosting site when I was 16 whilst trying to find material involving my peers again, and the site hosted lots of cropped images of teens on webcams and older kids on webcams (it was obvious what they were doing), and on the page for the accounts, it usually displayed an email where stuff could be traded, but I didn't pursue that until 2 years later.
I went about acquiring it through sending old images and videos of myself, and in a lot worse way as well.
Starting from 14 up until last year, I very occasionally placed my phone in the bathroom and filmed my friends urinating, this happened definitely less than ten times, and most of them I deleted from everywhere, but I kept one and a screenshot of a few others, I started posting these images, as well as my own nudes, on an old reddit account which was deleted not long after, I made sure to hide their identities while doing this, I enjoyed the attention and compliments I would get, and I loved bigging up my friends and seeing them get compliments.
Then I used this content to acquire the bad stuff years later, including the stuff of me.
I had an Idea that this was considered wrong but I didn't understand how it could have been harmful.
This happened to less than 5 friends, all the content I had I have long since deleted and wiped any access to, and I have no intention to do this again, but the main issue is the fact that copies could have been made of it, and I accidentally sent the uncropped video once. There's the possibility none of this stuff is out there, but it's still vile and repulsive.
One of them was my closest friend, who I had known basically all my life, I broke down to him and told him what I had done and what I believe does me to this awful, reprehensible place, and you know what he did? He told me he forgave me and that some video possibly being out there doesn't phase him and his life isn't ruined at all and it will go on either way.
But he understandably said we can't see each other anymore, that he still loves me, believes I'm a good person and wants me to live a good life and make the world a better place, which was a dream of ours.
It's extra difficult because we were so close, we had experienced so much together, held all the same interests and beliefs, and I loved him only like family could, so the fact I committed this vile act of betrayal rids me with so much shame, and deservedly so. In a way I find it harder to get through because I didn't understand the true consequences of my actions and how this could have affected him and others, it would be less confusing and easier to accept I'm just the lowest form of humanity that way.
I displayed other problematic behaviours from a young age, all to do with boundary issues, I sometimes used to touch my friends when I was 12 but never their actual genitals, and I used to jokingly show my erection to people as well.
The only constant that I knew for certain is wrong is genuine rape and molestation, which is a line I know for certain I could never cross, and never will.
From a very young age (around 3 or 4) my mother would do very inappropriate party tricks around me with her friends late at night when they were drinking, her friends would call me sexy, and as I got older and hit puberty, she started making comments about my bulge and other things despite the fact I hated it and told her so.
When I was 7 I was groomed and molested by an 8 year old boy, I wanted him to help me pass a level on my DS game and he said he'll do it if I have sex with him, me being 7 I didn't understand what that was and with him being older I complied. We were naked during this, he fondled my genitals and got me to do the same to him, he inserted his fingers into my anus as well.
When I was 10, two of my close friends groomed me, they simulated blowjobs on each other and got me to do the same to them.
When I was 11, my 12 year old friend groomed and molested me despite me protesting, he got me to get in my bed with him and he rubbed up against me. Earlier that day he also got me to sit in his lap whilst cuddling me from behind, we were wearing underwear.
When I was 13, that same friend when he was nearly 14 and another friend who was already 14 groomed and molested me in my pool again, I had an erection in the pool and jokingly showed one of them it, and it escalated from there. They both got naked and got me to do so, I protested but eventually gave in to the pressure, they also showed each other their genitals and got me to do the same, later that boy got me to sit in his lap again whilst the older boy rubbed up against me.
There was also just the normal experimenting stuff, one of my friends used to show me his erections and I would do the same.
All of my friends were going through puberty and their bodies were changing and so was mine, which I found incredibly fascinating and arousing, and I had seen most of my friends genitals and some other students genitals throughout growing up, so me being young and autistic, I became very curious.
Kids before finishing Elementary/Primary School were swearing and talking about sex, then as I got older (11) kids were drinking, smoking, doing drugs, talking about masturbation habits and apparently having genuine sex. Then by the time I was 13, there was a lot of students taking nudes, nudes being spread around school and nudes being leaked (including mine, which distressed me for a few days, but only because people knew they were mine, if they were spread around but they didn't know it was me, I wouldn't have cared), kids with condoms and other stuff etc.
I started watching non-pornographic sexual content online (sex scenes from movies, TV shows, games etc) at age 9 which I would genuinely get an erection from watching.
At age 10 I hit puberty (testicles largened) and I started masturbating to non pornographic stuff. Including videos of animals mating. I also tried to find stuff involving my peers and found a fake video of stuff suggestive of that.
At 11 I started to grow pubic hair and had my first ejaculations, as well as discover porn, and I had my first crush which was on a 12 year old boy who was another friend, who I would masturbate to. This crush lasted a number of years, but he was straight so it couldn't go anywhere. This was also the age I started taking nudes and videos of me masturbating.
At 12 I started to grow underarm har and facial hair began to appear on my upper lip, I was watching porn very heavily at this point.
At 13 my voice had broken and I was nearly my full adult height, this was also the age I first masturbated to a non-sexual nude image of a child. As well as videos of stuff like naturism and videos of circumcision (I don't have a pain or gore fetish, I would just blank it out and focus on the genitals.)
By 14 I was my full adult height, I had adult sized ejacualtions and my penis had fully grown. And that is when I started posting my nudes online. To which I would have sexual conversations with adults, not knowing I was setting myself up to be groomed and have something normalised in my head which shouldn't be.
By 15 I was growing facial hair, as well as chest and abdominal hair. And I found a shotacon involving a boy my age having sex with an adult woman, and I would pretend to be him.
At 17, a 19 year old flirted with me and got me into sending nudes to him, and he did the same, which I didn't see as bad and despite it being technically illegal, I still don't.
I also did the same when I was 19 with a 17 year old stranger online, but they were very willing and I didn't pressure them, no personal info was shared between us.
I also messaged a 15 and 14 year old at some point but stopped myself from letting it go any further. And cut them off before anything could be shared.
And when I started watching the CSAM, it was mostly teens 9n webcams that I watched, I was lured into thinking that this content isn't kids being assaulted or anything (which it is) and due to my experiences twisting my view, I thought kids were enjoying it (which they weren't) since I would have had enjoyed it at that age (which I wouldn't have) it wasn't until I saw unmistakable suffering which is when I stopped and vowed to never go there again. It was mostly stuff involving boys, the stuff involving girls I just found too revolting. I wanted to relive those experiences, go back to a time I was happier. It felt safe and comforting.
All of these experiencs warped my views and understanding of things, desensitised me and made me believe things were ok that weren't and that kids aren't as innocent as they are seen to be (which they are). I have never commited rape or an act of molestation and never will, these are acts I've always seen as vile and disgusting.
I've suffered with mental health issues for a long time as well.
I've struggled with feelings of self-hatred and worthlessness since around 9 or 10.
I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety at 13, I've been self harming and suicidal since 15, I've also been attempting suicide since 15.
I've always felt like the odd one out, I always felt like I was the worst at everything, I was the one who was left out of games at school, the one who was always picked last in sports.
I was bullied a lot growing up, by students and occasionally teachers alike.
My mother is narcissistic and has been emotionally and occasionally physically abusive to me since I was 14 (telling me she hates me and that everyone else hates me, tells me how horrible I am, tells me that I should kill myself and do everyone a favour, threatened to stab me in my sleep, hit me on the occasion, bit me, threw things at me, including heavy things and glass, strangled me).
I truly don't know what to do anymore, I'm completely lost.
I'm a 20 year old male with autism and possible OCD.
There are many things I want to talk about so this is going to be really long and unorganised.
From age 18 up until last year, I viewed and masturbated to CSAM, and the way I went about getting hold of it is equally bad, if not worse. I cannot express in words the shame and remorse I feel for this.
I know most of you hate me now and I don't blame you, and I guarantee you I hate myself more for it.
The most confusing part about it is I don't find children attractive, there's no groinal response, urges, desires, arousal, nothing. I don't even take a second glance or stare, the only thing I have is intrusive thoughts. Recently I was sat in the corner of a crowded bus, and since there was nowhere else to sit, three boys, none of which could have been older than 13 sat by me, one next to me, and the other two across from me, to which I felt nothing of that nature whatsoever.
I'm sexually attracted to males 20 and over, and I'm romantically and sexually attracted to females 20 and over, I wouldn't even date an 18 or 19 year old.
My instincts when I've been around children in recent times is purely parental and protective.
I'd never hurt a child, especially in that way, I'd slit my wrists or set myself on fire before I did that, I might just slit my wrists anyway.
I'd run into a burning building, I'd run out onto a busy road, I'd give my life to save a child's life.
I don't go out of my way to be around children, I find them for the most part irritating, I don't hate them though. Throughout my entire life I preferred the company of adults. I even live across from a playground ffs.
I'm scarred for life by some of the things I saw in those images and videos, how the hell could someone do something like that?! I want to climb through the screen and protect those kids, give them a hug and let them know nothing can hurt them anymore.
I stumbled across an image hosting site when I was 16 whilst trying to find material involving my peers again, and the site hosted lots of cropped images of teens on webcams and older kids on webcams (it was obvious what they were doing), and on the page for the accounts, it usually displayed an email where stuff could be traded, but I didn't pursue that until 2 years later.
I went about acquiring it through sending old images and videos of myself, and in a lot worse way as well.
Starting from 14 up until last year, I very occasionally placed my phone in the bathroom and filmed my friends urinating, this happened definitely less than ten times, and most of them I deleted from everywhere, but I kept one and a screenshot of a few others, I started posting these images, as well as my own nudes, on an old reddit account which was deleted not long after, I made sure to hide their identities while doing this, I enjoyed the attention and compliments I would get, and I loved bigging up my friends and seeing them get compliments.
Then I used this content to acquire the bad stuff years later, including the stuff of me.
I had an Idea that this was considered wrong but I didn't understand how it could have been harmful.
This happened to less than 5 friends, all the content I had I have long since deleted and wiped any access to, and I have no intention to do this again, but the main issue is the fact that copies could have been made of it, and I accidentally sent the uncropped video once. There's the possibility none of this stuff is out there, but it's still vile and repulsive.
One of them was my closest friend, who I had known basically all my life, I broke down to him and told him what I had done and what I believe does me to this awful, reprehensible place, and you know what he did? He told me he forgave me and that some video possibly being out there doesn't phase him and his life isn't ruined at all and it will go on either way.
But he understandably said we can't see each other anymore, that he still loves me, believes I'm a good person and wants me to live a good life and make the world a better place, which was a dream of ours.
It's extra difficult because we were so close, we had experienced so much together, held all the same interests and beliefs, and I loved him only like family could, so the fact I committed this vile act of betrayal rids me with so much shame, and deservedly so. In a way I find it harder to get through because I didn't understand the true consequences of my actions and how this could have affected him and others, it would be less confusing and easier to accept I'm just the lowest form of humanity that way.
The other two friends I stopped communicating with, I wiped the account wiped the content from all areas they were stored on, deleted what they were stored, everything, and there is a possibility it's not out their at all.
I displayed other problematic behaviours from a young age, all to do with boundary issues, I sometimes used to touch my friends when I was 12 but never their actual genitals, and I used to jokingly show my erection to people as well.
The only constant that I knew for certain is wrong is genuine rape and molestation, which is a line I know for certain I could never cross, and never will.
From a very young age (around 3 or 4) my mother would do very inappropriate party tricks around me with her friends late at night when they were drinking, her friends would call me sexy, and as I got older and hit puberty, she started making comments about my bulge and other things despite the fact I hated it and told her so.
When I was 7 I was groomed and molested by an 8 year old boy, I wanted him to help me pass a level on my DS game and he said he'll do it if I have sex with him, me being 7 I didn't understand what that was and with him being older I complied. We were naked during this, he fondled my genitals and got me to do the same to him, he inserted his fingers into my anus as well.
When I was 10, two of my close friends groomed me, they simulated blowjobs on each other and got me to do the same to them.
When I was 11, my 12 year old friend groomed and molested me despite me protesting, he got me to get in my bed with him and he rubbed up against me. Earlier that day he also got me to sit in his lap whilst cuddling me from behind, we were wearing underwear.
When I was 13, that same friend when he was nearly 14 and another friend who was already 14 groomed and molested me in my pool again, I had an erection in the pool and jokingly showed one of them it, and it escalated from there. They both got naked and got me to do so, I protested but eventually gave in to the pressure, they also showed each other their genitals and got me to do the same, later that boy got me to sit in his lap again whilst the older boy rubbed up against me.
There was also just the normal experimenting stuff, one of my friends used to show me his erections and I would do the same.
All of my friends were going through puberty and their bodies were changing and so was mine, which I found incredibly fascinating and arousing, and I had seen most of my friends genitals and some other students genitals throughout growing up, so me being young and autistic, I became very curious.
Kids before finishing Elementary/Primary School were swearing and talking about sex, then as I got older (11) kids were drinking, smoking, doing drugs, talking about masturbation habits and apparently having genuine sex. Then by the time I was 13, there was a lot of students taking nudes, nudes being spread around school and nudes being leaked (including mine, which distressed me for a few days, but only because people knew they were mine, if they were spread around but they didn't know it was me, I wouldn't have cared), kids with condoms and other stuff etc.
I started watching non-pornographic sexual content online (sex scenes from movies, TV shows, games etc) at age 9 which I would genuinely get an erection from watching.
At age 10 I hit puberty (testicles largened) and I started masturbating to non pornographic stuff. Including videos of animals mating. I also tried to find stuff involving my peers and found a fake video of stuff suggestive of that.
At 11 I started to grow pubic hair and had my first ejaculations, as well as discover porn, there was also an image I masturbated to which depicted a boy of my age giving oral to a man, and I had my first crush which was on a 12 year old boy who was another friend, who I would masturbate to. This crush lasted a number of years, but he was straight so it couldn't go anywhere. This was also the age I started taking nudes and videos of me masturbating.
At 12 I started to grow underarm har and facial hair began to appear on my upper lip, I was watching porn very heavily at this point.
At 13 my voice had broken and I was nearly my full adult height, this was also the age I first masturbated to a non-sexual nude image of a child. As well as videos of stuff like naturism and videos of circumcision (I don't have a pain or gore fetish, I would just blank it out and focus on the genitals.)
By 14 I was my full adult height, I had adult sized ejacualtions and my penis had fully grown. And that is when I started posting my nudes online. To which I would have sexual conversations with adults, not knowing I was setting myself up to be groomed and have something normalised in my head which shouldn't be.
By 15 I was growing facial hair, as well as chest and abdominal hair. And I found a shotacon involving a boy my age having sex with an adult woman, and I would pretend to be him.
At 17, a 19 year old flirted with me and got me into sending nudes to him, and he did the same, which I didn't see as bad and despite it being technically illegal, I still don't.
I also did the same when I was 19 with a 17 year old stranger online, but they were very willing and I didn't pressure them, no personal info was shared between us.
I also messaged a 15 and 14 year old at some point but stopped myself from letting it go any further. And cut them off before anything could be shared, or any messages could be exchanged for that matter.
And when I started watching the CSAM, it was mostly teens 9n webcams that I watched, I was lured into thinking that this content isn't kids being assaulted or anything (which it is) and due to my experiences twisting my view, I thought kids were enjoying it (which they weren't) since I would have had enjoyed it at that age (which I wouldn't have), it wasn't until I saw unmistakable suffering which is when I stopped and vowed to never go there again. It was mostly stuff involving boys, the stuff involving girls I just found too revolting. I wanted to relive those experiences, go back to a time I was happier. It felt safe and comforting. It was relatable.
All of these experiencs warped my views and understanding of things, desensitised me and made me believe things were ok that weren't and that kids aren't as innocent as they are seen to be (which they are). I have never commited rape or an act of molestation and never will, these are acts I've always seen as vile and disgusting.
I've suffered with mental health issues for a long time as well.
I've struggled with feelings of self-hatred and worthlessness since around 9 or 10.
I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety at 13, I've been self harming and suicidal since 15, I've also been attempting suicide since 15.
I've always felt like the odd one out, I always felt like I was the worst at everything, I was the one who was left out of games at school, the one who was always picked last in sports.
I was bullied a lot growing up, by students and occasionally teachers alike, and even my boss at my first job.
My mother is a heavy drinker, narcissistic and has been emotionally and occasionally physically abusive to me since I was 14 (telling me she hates me and that everyone else hates me, tells me how horrible I am, tells me that I should kill myself and do everyone a favour, threatened to stab me in my sleep, hit me on the occasion, bit me, threw things at me, including heavy things and glass, strangled me). There was also manipulation tactics like gaslighting, she alienated me from others by telling her friends and family how awful I was. Pushed me into meltdowns and got me to lash out, to which she called the police and got me arrested and made me look like the bad one on multiple occasions.
My father was a drug addict who died when I was 14, I saw him less than ten times my whole life, he grew drugs in my room when I was an infant, my most distinct memory is him coming to my house very late one night when I was around 9 or 10 talking about demons and bad spirits.
Addiction runs in my family (my father's father is an equally heavy drinker, his mother is a drug addict who ran a brothel), so the addictive tendencies have been past down to me.
I probably was addicted to porn by 13, and had been feeding it for years without knowing it.
My adopted grandfather died when I was 4, and my adopted grandmother (which I lived with from birth) who was my guiding light, died less than a week before my dad did.
The only father figure I really had (who was an alcoholic but otherwise very good with me) was my mother's partner who she met when I was 6, and he died when I was 8.
I was also very close to my mother's best friend, who had been more of a mother to me than my actual one had been some time died when I was 17.
My mother had an abusive ex who stalked her and threatened to set fire to the house, who also left ranting letters and stood in the back garden at night, so we lived in fear of stuff like that for over a year from when I was 12 through 13.
She also had an abusive lodger who was an even heavier drinker than she is, so from when I was 14 through 16 I witnessed them physically fight, both get arrested and on a few occasions I had to defend her from him.
Many of my friends have betrayed me over the years (I know I'm one to talk) but when this started to happen I would have never dreamed of betraying anyone, personal stuff was shared about me which I trusted them with, there was a lot of bad talking about me without me knowing. My toe closest friend turned on me at age 12 and isolated me from my other friends, I blamed myself at the time which I why I moved schools at 13 since I thought I was just making everyone miserable.
I didn't get diagnosed with autism until I was q9 despite trying to get it since I was 12, it hurt knowing I had been paying my whole life for being different, feeling ashamed of who I am (and rightly so now really), wondering why what I said was offensive, why I didn't understandfulky why this was wrong, why I was so sensitive to jokes, why I took e everyhing literally, why I made impulsive and reckless decisions without understanding the consequences of them.
I was never considered attractive and was ridiculed for it (girls used to jokingly flirt with me to torment me at school). I'm 5'6, always have struggled with weight, hairline started receding at 16, eczema so my skin is always red, dry and flaky, really bad diastema and acid reflux which means it's really hard to make my breath smell nice and my teeth are very worn because of it. I have had sex with someone who was older than me and we were both consenting adults, and we were both very respectful of boundaries.
I was also desensitised to other things slide gore and violence, I played a lot of violent video games when I was a kid, my mother is really into controversial shock movies (she got me to watch Cannibal Holocaust with her when I was 11).
The worst part about all of this is the fact all my friends who I love would hate me if they knew about what I've done so, none of them would trust me anymore or respect me, which is what friendships are all about right? So in a way they feel strange, they feel fake.
I could never find a relationship or true love because nobody wants to date a serial sex offender.
I hate knowing the fact I'm a sex offender, it's eating me alive.
I'm not registered and there is no real proof of what I did, so I can't turn myself in or anything.
I want to do good in the world, I have so much love to give, but it feels wrong me helping people because it feels like there is a sinister undertone to everything I do.
I've always enjoyed being charitable, I love giving money to the homeless or putting change in a donations box.
I feel guilty whenever I feel hapoy since I don't deserve to be, the only things that I enjoy now are food and playing video games, it's the only job I get out of day to day life.
The only fate I deserve is being stabbed to death in prison or something.
All I want is to be loved and accepted despite my flaws and mistakes, but I never could be.
The only other person I've told is my mother, who has been supportive.
I've been on antidepressants since 18 and I'm trying to get therapy, but I'm not hoping or expecting anything good will happen from this. I've been in and out of therapy since I was 11.
I had dreams, I had aspirations, I wanted to change the world for the better, I wanted to have a son, not to hurt him, but so he doesn't end up like me, but I reliase that is not possible. I don't deserve to be around children.
I hate keeping secrets, but I have no choice but to keep this one.
I want to identify with good people, but I can't.
Every good thing I do is invalidated now.
I forgive everyone who has wronged me in anyway, since I'm worse than them.
I just pray I can go out doing good, doing the right thing.
I am no better than Jimmy Saville, Ian Watkins or any of them types of people.
If you want to motivate me to end it all, feel free.
If you have read through all of this, thank you.

I (38 F) have been married to my husband (41 M) for 7 years, this coming June and together for 9 years. We have two kids, twin boys, that are 5 months old. I'm going to give a long backstory so stay with me or scroll to the bottom for the TL;DR.
2 weeks before Mother's Day, I found out my husband had been cheating on me for at least 7 months. I used his phone to use the Lowe's app to order lawn chairs since it's tied to our Lowe's card and I wanted to use our rewards. While I was looking for the particular set I want, he received a Snapchat notification from a woman. I didn't even know he had Snapchat so it peaked my interest. During this time, my husband was mowing the grass.
I open the snap and it's a nude of a woman looking to be in her mid-20s with the caption "I miss you being inside of me". My jaw hit the floor. I started going through his text messages and there were no conversations there with other women except employees from his practice (he is a dermatologist) that were harmless.
I started looking through his Snapchat and I guess he deletes everything because there were no chats between him and this woman. I am not familiar with Snapchat so I Google how to use it while I'm trying to figure out if I can retrieve deleted messages. I don't want to spend all the time I have left of him mowing reading through articles so I give up. I do go through his friend's list and end up coming back to it to take a picture of with my phone.
I look through the rest of the apps on his phone and they all seem benign except this secure folder. I open it and there's a passcode. I try three or four until I figure it out (the date of our first date, ironically) and it opens. There are dozens of nude photos of at least 3 women, including the woman from Snapchat. I know it's the woman from Snapchat because she has a very distinct tattoo on her stomach. Not only are there nudes but there are 2 videos of this same woman giving him oral.
My heart felt like it was trying to come out of my chest. I started shaking and tears started flowing. I took a few deep breaths to calm myself down and then grabbed my phone and started taking pictures of the evidence. I even recorded clips of the videos, I just couldn't watch them in their entirety.
I look through all the apps again and realize that maybe he has some hidden. So, I google hidden apps on android and follow the instructions. Three apps were hidden. Two messaging apps and a hook-up app called Adult friend finder. I debated even opening them because I was so scared of what I would find. But I ended up viewing them because knowing is better than not knowing for me.
He had been messaging at least 4 different women, including the video girl. He had sex with at least two of them that I found proof of. All messages made me sick but the video girl's messages were the worst and completely shattered my heart. I had to stop to go throw up because of the stress and anxiety.
Some messages that hurt me the most were: Her: "Tell me how much better my p***y is than your wife's." Him: "Wetter, tighter and infinitely better."
Her: *sends nude* "How does my body compare to your wife's?" Him: "There is no comparison baby, you are a goddess."
There were so many others but those two come to mind as the ones that made me feel the absolute worst. Remember, I just had twins 5 months ago. I am very insecure due to all of the changes that happened to my body and my c-section scar. I am also 25 pounds heavier than I was pre-pregnancy. My husband and I stopped having sex because it was so uncomfortable for me about 2 months before I gave birth, around the same time he started messaging these women coincidentally. We've only had sex about three times since they were born due to my insecurity issues and just being so exhausted caring for and breastfeeding twins every day. I also have a business and work from home around the twins' schedules so I can stay at home with them.
I take photos of everything, using my phone again like before. The earliest messages were sent 7 months ago so I know it had been going on for at least 7 months, while I was freaking pregnant with our twins. Oh, I also found out that the night after I had a c-section and while our newborn preemie twins were in the NICU, he met with video girl for a hook-up at her apartment. He told me he was going to get food and check on his office. With our twins being preemies, anything could have happened and he wouldn't have been there because he was with her. But, that wasn't a thought for him I guess.
I close out all the apps, make sure the hidden ones are hidden from his home screen and put his phone back exactly where I found it. I also make sure the snap notification was gone. I was nervous that he would find out about the snap that was opened but he didn't.
I call my best friend of over 33 years who is also my business partner. I tell him everything and have a good cry to let it all out. He helps me to collect myself and gives me some sound advice. He tells me to not tell my husband I found anything yet and to speak with a divorce lawyer as soon as possible. He said to meet with the best ones in my area so that they couldn't represent my husband. He offers me and the twins a place to stay at his home if I need time away from my husband, assuring me that his husband would love to have me there.
Over the next week, my BFF helps me take care of the twins while meet with 5 different divorce lawyers and end up hiring, in my opinion, the best. She tells me not to leave the family home so I end up not going to stay with my BFF. She starts the divorce paperwork immediately. During this time, I am doing my best to continue on like nothing is wrong. I want to make sure all of my ducks are in a row before he realizes what I know.
Fast-forward to Mother's Day. My husband makes me breakfast in bed, gives me very expensive jewelry, flowers, the works. I can't enjoy it, of course, because it feels so fake now that I know what he's been up to. I pretend to love it though.
My husband's father planned a cook out that afternoon for my husband's mother, sister (let's call her Julie), sister-in-law (let's call her Fran) and me. We all have infants under a year old so it's everyone's first Mother's day, except my MIL's of course. I told my husband that I didn't feel like going and he guilt-tripped me by saying that my FIL had a big surprise for me and he's been really looking forward giving it to me. So, I reluctantly agree. I ask if my BFF can come since his mother sadly passed away just under a year ago. He calls his dad and my FIL replies that of course he can come. My BFF agreed to come to offer me support since he knew it would be very difficult for me to be there.
I plan to act like nothing's wrong and try to enjoy the day since it's my first Mother's Day after all. I tell myself that I will focus on the twins and get cuddles from my two nieces. Julie has an 8 month old daughter and Fran (husband's brother's wife) has a 10 month old daughter. I'm also the closest to Julie out of all his family since we became friends 10 years ago and she's the one who introduced me to my husband.
We get there and everything is fine. My husband is helping his dad, brother (let's call him Chris), BIL (let's call him Roger) cook on the grill. My MIL and the women are taking turns holding the babies. My BFF took over the kitchen, finishing up all of the sides so the moms could relax. It started out to be a really good day. I kept myself from thinking of my husband's betrayal for the most part and focused on the family.
After we eat my MIL starts taking pictures of the family. I'm sitting on the couch and she tells my husband to sit beside me for the photo. He does and then she tells him to put his arm around me and jokingly says "pretend like you love her" and I lose it. I start to uncontrollably sob.
My MIL pulls me up and hugs me and my FIL comes over and joins in the hug. My BFF comes to stand right next to me. My FIL asks me what was wrong. I look at my BFF and he gives me a "tell if you want" look.
I tell them that I found out my husband has been cheating on me for at least 7 months. Julie gasps and everyone stares at my husband. He stands up and says "that's not true at all, why would you think that? You know you and the boys are my whole world." Everyone is silent, looking at me. I tell them all that I found messages, pictures, the hook-up app and even videos on his phone. My husband looks faint and sits back down. Nobody says anything for at least 2 minutes.
Finally, Julie asks my husband, while crying herself, why? My husband tells her that "I made a mistake, I only talked to the women, I never physically cheated." My BFF quickly replies, "Liar!" Julie then asks me what all I found. I tell them everything, the nudes, the videos of my husband receiving oral, the messages and even tell them what those horrible messages said about me. He continues to deny it! I pull up a few message photos and show them to Julie, my MIL and FIL. My husband tries to gaslight me by saying that he admitted to talking to other women but he never slept with any of them. I really don't want to show them the video but I do find a few messages where my husband and a woman talked about their previous sexual encounters. My husband again says that he admitted to talking to them but never really cheated. He literally says "if the message talks about sex it was just role playing."
Roger (Julie's husband) goes over to my husband and jerks his phone out of his hand. My husband tries to get it back but Roger is 6'7 and my husband is 6'1 so he just holds it up where my husband can't reach. He asks me what his passcode is and I tell him. He then asks me where to find things and as I start to tell him my husband grabs his phone back.
At this point my MIL, Julie and Fran are all crying. Chris starts getting upset with me. He tells me this was not the time nor place to bring this all up and that I ruined Julie and Fran's first Mother's Day. Julie speaks up and says no, my husband is the one who ruined it. Chris starts yelling and saying that our personal business needs to stay private and that I had no right to bring it up to his family and ruin the only first mother's day the women will get. Fran agrees with him and tells me I'm definitely in the wrong for bringing it up, if it even is true.
At this point both of my twins start crying. I am not going to breastfeed them there and I want to get out of that house as quick as possible. I ask my BFF to take me home and we transfer the car seats from my husband's vehicle into his. My MIL follows me outside and says that Chris was right, I should have kept it all to myself and that now future Mother's Days will be a reminder of this fiasco for everyone. I just ignore her and put the twins in the car. My husband comes outside and asks if we can please talk. I tell him no, get in the car and my BFF, the twins and I leave. I end up feeling horrible and guilty that I let it all out to everyone.
My husband didn't come home and ended up staying at his parents house and has been there the past two nights. He got my FIL to come over Sunday evening and pick up clothes, toiletries, work stuff and various other items. While he was here I asked him, did I ruin Mother's Day? He tells me no that my husband did. He said that he asked me what was wrong and I was honest. He said he understood now why the "pretend like you love her" comment caused me to breakdown. I asked him about my MIL, Chris and Fran since I know Julie and Roger aren't mad at me. He said that they are still angry with me but they will eventually get over it.
TL;DR - I found out my husband had been cheating on me for at least 7 months with multiple women, starting while I was pregnant with our twins and continuing after I gave birth. I didn't tell him I knew for 2 weeks. At a Mother's Day cookout that his family hosted for his mother, me, his sister and sister-in-law, his mother made a comment that made me break down. I ended up telling everyone about the infidelity. His brother, SIL, and mother told me I ruined his sister and SIL's first Mother's Day. and that I shouldn't have said anything about the affairs.
Am I the AH?

What are your audible recommendations? Preferably memoir styles. I love fiction but typically read fiction as physical books or on my kindle. When I’m listening I prefer self-help or memoirs.
Some that I’ve listened to recently are:
If I did it (OJ book /goldman family) Long Walk to Freedom, Nelson Mandela Born a Crime, Trevor Noah I’m Glad My Mom Died, Jennette McCurdy Spare, Prince Harry The Woman in Me, Brittany Spears Relentless, Tim S. Grover
Have many more I’ve listened to, but these are my recent. Need some new recommendations please!

Killer Grips: Anne Maria, Brick, Jasmine, Justin, Millie
Screaming Gaffers: Chase, MK, Ripper, Scott, Sky
Episode 6: The Aftermath I: Trent's Descent
A riff from an electric guitar opened the episode as a pair of purple concentric circles flew across and back in the screen towards the upper-left corner, a group of smaller, bluer circles flying through them in the same direction but at a higher speed. As it neared the top of the screen a large and blocky red 'T' flashed into existence and descended back down, and the background music continued into a theme fit for an evening talk show. A similarly-styled 'D' and 'A' appeared next as a few more purple or blue rings crossed the screen, then the three letters slid in from the left to spell out 'TDA'. The word 'AFTERMATH' popped up from the bottom of the screen, temporarily bumping up the first three letters before they slammed back down and centered the text in the middle of the screen.
A gleam swept across the text from upper-left to lower-right, and the 'D' briefly popped forwards with the faint sound of a camera, turning a little bit counterclockwise before reversing into its former position.
Clip 1
"Any final words?" Chris asked the eliminated contestants.
“Yeah. You guys actually voted me off. I respect that,” Eva nodded with a smirk.
“Good luck dudes. Wicked play,” Geoff smiled as he and Eva got off the bleachers and went to the red carpet.
The 'D' popped out briefly again and another bout of recap footage began.
Clip 2
"Here's the deal," Chef stated, pacing about slowly in front of the teen. "I'll help you man up and win this thing. You don't ask any stupid questions and you split the prize with me.” He leaned in closer towards Brick's face. “Like they say, it's an offer you can't refuse. I won't let you," he finished with a deadly scowl, much to Brick's discomfort.
The 'D' popped out a third time, signaling the start of another set of recap footage.
Clip 3
“Trent, it's time to go!” Chris informed the eliminated contestant.
Trent got off the stands. “Before I do, can I at least say goodbye to Sky?”
“You could, but it'd be pointless since Chef will just carry you to the limo,” Chris smiled.
“Alright,” Trent sighed and faced his former teammates. “I'm really sorry about my actions, guys. I'll see you later.” With nothing left to say, he turned and walked down the red carpet.
A fourth time the 'D' popped out, and the last set of recap footage played.
Clip 4
"Izzy!" Izzy was left gaping. "Time to go!" Chris announced.
“I'm not going anywhere,” Izzy objected. “That's not my name.”
“Can I get a pen over here?” Chris raised his hand in annoyance. A pen was given to him, and he started to write on the paper. “It says "E-Scope" now, okay?!” This made Izzy finally stand up.
"And remember," Chris told her as she started to walk past the stage, "you can never come back, ev-er!" The host pressed an orange button next to his microphone, and two identical guards came over and grabbed Izzy by her arms.
(Theme Song)
The same sequence used to open the recap was replayed, an unseen audience cheering wildly after the 'TDA AFTERMATH' logo shined. The camera faded into a shot of a stage from the shadowed audience; it was set up like a talk show with one couch and table in the middle, and two tiers of couches on either side. A variety of lights both stage and decorative were scattered around, and to the left was a passage backstage half-hidden by dividing walls and the dark red curtains that framed the set.
And most importantly, sitting on that central couch, were two figures. Damien on the left and Priya on the right.
The camera zoomed in on them as the applause died down, a pair of computer displays visible on the table turned towards the hosts as Priya waved. "Hey there everyone!" she greeted with a smile. "Welcome to the brand-new Total Drama Action Aftermath Show!"
She paused as the audience cheered and applauded again, and once they'd died down, Damien spoke up. "We're coming to you live," he said, "to dish everything Total Drama Action!"
"This is where the real action is!" Priya said to another bout of cheering. "I'm Priya!" she added in with a smile.
"And I'm Damien!" Damien beamed.
"You may remember us from the hit series Total Drama Island," Priya continued.
"And it's thrilling sequel, Total Drama Action," Damien said, “even if we're not on it.”
"I hate that we missed out on the season and a chance to get the money,” Priya grumbled but regained her positivity, “but we have our own show, so I think it compensates."
"Being in the sequel could've given me the possibility of being rich, but when I'm with you, money doesn't matter," Damien smiled happily at Priya, and the crowd awwed.
"Aww, that's so sweet!” Priya gushed and turned to the audience. “And with no competitions here, we get to talk to all of you."
“So about that new season. Pretty cool, right?" Damien asked, looking out at the camera.
"Of course," Priya nodded. "They get to be on a film lot and do different kinds of movie challenges. How spectacular is that?" The crowd cheered in agreement.
"Super spectacular," a voice said from off-camera, the shot zooming out to show that the couches on the right had been occupied by the other non-competing contestants. On the top row were Rodney, Sam, and Gwen, while the bottom row had Topher, Katie, and Sadie.
“We were being rhetorical," Damien pointed out, "but hey, thanks for reminding everyone that you're not invisible! Topher, everyone!" The camera focused on the dirty blonde, who took stride in the applause from the audience.
"We also brought along all the others from the first season," Priya said.
"They may be considered losers," Damien said, "but not to us."
“Aww,” Katie gushed.
“That is so sweet, you guys,” Sadie added.
"The pleasure's all ours," Damien replied. "Give it up for Topher!" he said, and the crowd cheered as the camera cut back to the fanboy. He shot a wink as the screen was split and a clip played of him smacking a fly onto his eye and getting it swollen.
"And Rodney!" Priya added, the camera cutting to the country boy waving at the camera. The screen also split to play a clip of him, showing him returning back to the game on boat.
"Katie and Sadie!" Damien introduced the two girls.
“Oh my gosh!” Katie cheered.
“We are so super excited to be here!” Sadie expressed her happiness.
"Next we have Sam!" Priya said as the camera moved to the gamer smiling at the camera as a clip played in the split screen showing him hanging from a tree by his knees before falling down.
"And how about a shout out to Gwen!" Damien said. Gwen smiled at the camera while the split screen showed a clip of the goth eating blueberries from a bush.
The camera cut over to Topher, who was engrossed in a phone call. "How long are the papers going to take?" he asked before noticing the audience. "Sorry mom, but I'll have to call you back later!"
Priya and Damien shared a glance before Damien smiled at the camera. "We've also got a lot of texts and emails from all of you!" he said excitedly.
"Plus," Priya said, "we'll have a couple of you on webcam!"
"Eva and Geoff will be here," Damien announced, and the crowd went wild.
"And let's not forget our favorite nutcase, Izzy!" Priya added with a smile, earning another roaring cheer from the crowd.
"Plus the guy with the soul of music, Trent!" Damien finished to another round of applause.
"You know what's strange? The four that you two mentioned were part of the final six in Island along with Scott and you, Priya," Topher said.
"That is pretty shocking," Priya added. "Eva and Geoff especially."
"Eva could have won the season again, but I guess no one wants a repeat," Sam laughed a bit.
"We've got a lot to talk about," Damien told the audience. "It's almost time to welcome our first guests," he announced, "but first, take a look at this!" The nervous wreck looked up to the wide and flat television hanging above the central couch.
The television's static cut to a clip of Geoff and Eva running together to escape the monster. "Geoff and Eva's time on Total Drama Action may have been short," Damien said.
"But it sure was packed with the action that we grew to love," Priya continued as Eva and Geoff stuck their heads out from behind a cardboard cutout of a small red car.
"Eva managed to recover from her broken ankle from last season," Damien continued as the muscle woman was shown running through the sidewalk.
"And Geoff proved that losing a tooth doesn't mean losing your positivity," Priya said as footage of Geoff showing off his golden tooth replacement was shown.
"And they both did well for themselves, even if they didn't win the second challenge!" Damien followed up as clips of Geoff and Eva being shown on the ground along with being shot with paintballs courtesy of Chef played.
"But unfortunately, they weren't able to play for another day!" Priya continued.
"I don't even blame the contestants since Eva and Geoff were last season's Final Two," Damien spoke as a clip played of the two going into the limousine. "At least they still have their friendship!"
"One has eaten dog food," Priya said, "and the other has taken control of a forest fire. Our first two guests are Geoff and Eva!"
The Aftermath theme tune played and the crowd went wild as Eva and Geoff pushed open the backstage doors and walked out, smiling at both the audience and the hosts as they took their seats on the lower couch on the left.
"Hey guys!" Priya greeted with a smile as Damien waved.
"Damien! Priya! Glad to see you two again!" Eva said happily.
"Yeah!" Geoff added. "You two getting the hosting gig is impressive!"
"Great to have you guys!" Damien told them. "Sorry you two got eliminated first."
"No need to apologize," Geoff said. "We didn't leave completely empty-handed!"
"Wait, how so?" Damien asked in confusion. "You didn't win the money."
"Not like that," Eva answered. "Geoff managed to take pictures of everybody and everything from the first two seasons to put onto his scrapbook."
"And Eva managed to use part of her money to get construction to build her dream gym," Geoff added. "It's still in construction by the way."
“So how did you two manage to become the Aftermath hosts?” Eva asked them.
"The producers took note of me and Damien's relationship and decided on us being the hosts," Priya answered. "I couldn't pass up this opportunity."
"And plus, the other non-competitors either refused or were turned down," Damien added.
“They especially turned me down,” Topher grumbled. “I would've made a great host.”
"That's pretty understandable," Eva said. "I sure as heck don't want to run my mouth longer than I need to."
"Yeah, hosting a show is something I won't be able to perform well in," Geoff added.
"Moving on," Damien said, "how does it feel being the first two voted off the show?"
"Honestly, I gotta say it was kinda like a punch to the gut," Eva admitted. "I know I'm strong, but I didn't think the contestants would team up to vote us out in just the first episodes."
"I didn't mind as much," Geoff interjected. "I mean, I did want to win the million dollars, but given how we competed in every episode of the first season, it seems fair for us to go home early this time around and give the others a shot. And besides, money isn't everything."
"Thanks for your inputs," Priya said as the camera cut over to her and Damien, "I think it's time for a game called 'Truth or Hammer'!" The crowd started to go wild.
A grand tune played as a shot of a golden statue of Lady Justice was shown. The camera slowly pulled back from it, and as the music ended a large wooden mallet swung down from the left and smashed it to pieces.
Damien stood up as the scene cut back to the hosts and guests. "Here's how this works: we ask you a question, and if you give the wrong answer, a huge hammer will swing down on you."
"Uh, what?" Geoff said as he and Eva looked at each other nervously.
"Eva, Geoff, move out of the way as we do a test run!" Priya announced, and a giant wooden hammer immediately swung down at Eva and Geoff, the two barely avoiding the hit.
"Looks like the hammer is working well. How about we get to the questions?" Damien turned his head to the reality TV fan.
"Absolutely," Priya agreed. "So Eva, after winning last season, why do you think things didn't go well for you this time?"
"Like we both said, we were big time threats. If we didn't get voted off in the second episode, one of us likely would've been in the final two again," Eva answered and looked above her, the hammer still remaining in its position.
"I'm a strategic player, and if I wasn't the first season's winner, I obviously would've voted out the strongest player just so I could get closer to winning," Eva continued.
"Good answer!" Damien said. "So Geoff, are you even remotely mad at not winning the first season and getting kicked off in the second?"
Geoff looked up. "I'm not going to lie at all, especially when there's a hammer that can crush me," the party guy said. "I'm kind of upset."
Everyone was silent for a moment before it became clear the hammer wasn't going to swing down. "I mean... it's like you got dreams for this money and to see them flushed down the drain is disappointing," Geoff explained. "But it is what it is. I had a good time competing, and I got news from one of my brothers that my golden tooth can be sold for money, so at least I got some compensation."
"I'd suggest cleaning the tooth before you sell it," Damien advised before looking at the camera and smiling. "So how about we hear from one of the viewers!"
"Let's see," Priya said, looking down at the computer display on the table in front of her. "CunningLinguist316 asks: Who are you rooting for now that you've been eliminated?"
"Well, I'm rooting for Sky," Eva answered. "I can see some parts of myself in her, and she's one of the more worthy players in the game."
"I'm hoping my man Chase wins," Geoff answered. "He's super athletic and fast, and we're sorta like each other in many ways."
"Good to hear your thoughts," Damien told them.
"Exactly!" Priya added. "But I think it's time we bring out our next guest."
The camera panned up to the wide-screen television as footage of the wild child began to play. "Izzy's time on Total Drama Action may have been short," Damien said over a clip of Izzy pushing Ripper out of the way and getting captured by the animatronic monster.
"But it was a thrill ride," Priya added.
“Seriously, Izzy can make a bowl of paste tasty by adding herself to it,” Damien quipped over Izzy getting dropped into the bouncy castle.
"Later on, she suffered a serious blow at the hands of Chef," Priya added over the footage of Izzy falling onto the ground after getting shot in the chest with a paintball and Chef looking over her in worry.
“Chef thinks he's killed her. Look how scared he is!” Damien chimed in as the recap footage paused on Chef; a red circle was drawn around Chef's face.
“Never thought he'd have a sense of humanity. Check this part out! Super hilarious!” Priya giggled over Izzy standing up and laughing about her fake death. “Unfortunately, it was Justin that ruined Izzy's chances when the two took to the stage.” The clips of Justin performing his role and Izzy grumbling over her loss played.
"Dramatic and devious, Izzy will be back for more," Damien continued as the footage showed Izzy getting up from her seat and blowing kisses as the limousine took her away.
The scene returned to the hosts. "Our first guest has impersonated a grizzly and was caught peeing in a pool. Currently number eight on the RCMP's most wanted... Izzy, A.K.A Kaleidoscope!!"
The crowd went wild as the Aftermath theme played, but it suddenly stopped as the hosts looked up at the television. It was now showing footage of a room backstage where Izzy was currently sitting on a couch and eating crackers. The crazy girl had a snack tray-laden table in front of her, and to the left was a television showing the same feed as the one on-stage.
Izzy took notice of the television set. "I'm on TV!" she exclaimed before accidentally spitting out her chewed-up crackers, making the audience laugh quietly. “Oh, oops. Cracker crumbs, you get back here!” She grabbed the crumbs, along with a few grapes and a cracker sandwich with cheese in the middle, and put them all in her cleavage, prompting more laughter.
Izzy stood up and walked out to the stage, the Aftermath theme playing again as she opened the backstage doors and walked out. The audience cheered, and Damien and Priya, along with Eva and Geoff - who were now on the top row of the couches - waved at her, causing her to return the gesture.
“Hello E-Scope!” Priya eagerly greeted her friend.
"Hi, Priya. Hi, Damien," Izzy greeted back as she sat on the couch. "So glad to be here."
“Awesome to have you, but it must be hard losing out on a million bucks,” Damien talked to her.
“Yeah, well... you would know,” Izzy responded, unamusing Damien and Priya while the audience gasped. “Hi, you guys!” she focused on the Peanut Gallery.”
“Hi, Izzy!” Rodney waved.
“Hi, everyone out there in TV land!” Izzy turned to the camera and noticed someone in the audience. “Graham Cracker! That's my old boyfriend Graham! He got a restraining order against me last year. Remember that, Graham?” The audience started mumbling. “So funny. Okay. We were in the courtroom and the judge was all like, "You cannot come within two hundred meters of the plaintiff or you shall suffer the consequences of this courtroom."
After taking a moment to laugh, Izzy continued her story. “The long distance was hard, but we made it work. By the way, Graham, you should get new blinds for your room. What are they made of, lead? I couldn't see a thing with my binoculars! Miss you, Graham Cracker!” She took a cracker out of her cleavage. “I am totally into crackers right now. They're just so flaky!” She giggled and put the cracker into her mouth.
“Kind of like someone we already know,” Damien muttered quietly.
“So Izzy, how did it feel to be the third one voted off the show?” Priya asked.
“My life is an open book. Well, not yet, but it will be once I write it. And you open the book!” Izzy guffawed.
“What was going through your head after being voted off?” Damien questioned.
The music turned sad. “When you realize you're not getting a Gilded Chris Award, well, I can't lie to you,” Izzy sniffed in a rare moment of sadness.
“Oh, it was that painful?” Priya expressed her sympathy.
“No, I just can't lie to you,” Izzy returned to her normal state. “I was outfitted with a lie deterrent microchip that sends shock waves at the first hint of dishonesty. Those are really nice pants, Damien.”
Izzy then got shocked in her neck, demonstrating the microchip inside the body part, but the wild child laughed it off.
“Carrying on,” Damien said uncomfortably. “So what exactly did losing out on the Gilded Chris mean to you?”
“It means I missed out on that buttery chocolate statuette. Ooh, I once took an art class sculpting chocolate nudes, my instructor said I had a real flair for cocoa,” Izzy brought up and earned another electrocution. “Okay, okay, okay. He said I was totally loco. That's what he's actually said.”
"Let's see if you can be honest while answering our questions,” Priya said sneakily, “and the giant hammer will come down if you don't tell the truth!"
“If my implant doesn't get me, the hammer will!” Izzy said, earning laughs from the audience.
Priya and Damien shared a look of bewilderment before facing the camera happily. “Want to know which questions we'll be asking Izzy?" Priya asked the camera.
"Be sure to stay tuned," Damien said. "Right now, we have to take a quick break! We'll be right back!"
The show's logo was shown again, and the 'D' popped out and transitioned the scene to a close-up of a plate of brown mush sitting on a tan-and-goldenrod striped table. Flies were buzzing around it, and part of a familiar torso could be seen standing behind it.
"This episode of the TDA Aftershow," Chef Hatchet said to a catchy elevator music-like jingle as one of the flies buzzing around died and the camera began to zoom out, "was brought to you by Chef's Roadkill Cafe, where Sundays are Bring Your Own Meat!" The camera stopped moving to show the hulking man in full, standing between the table with the plate of mush and a large stone fireplace in the background. In his left hand he held a skewer of a reddish and steaming hunk of meat resting on a plate-like guard piece. The tail of a skunk extended from the top of the meat hunk.
"You hit it, we spit it," Chef said with a motion to the steaming dish in his hand.
(Commercial Break)

This is a thread to introduce yourself and make new friends!
Please practice internet safety by being cautious of accounts with low karma and avoid sharing information that is overly private. Never send money or nude photographs to unverified people. Selfies can be faked so video chat is the best way to verify someone is genuine. When in doubt, trust your gut.

I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/ThrowRAWifePics2 posting in relationship_advice
Ongoing as per OOP
1 update - Medium
Original - 1st May 2024
Update - 3rd May 2024
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1 New Update
Final Update - 11th May 2024
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Caught My(35m) wife(34) sending pics to BIL(40m) is our marriage is salvageable at this point?
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My wife Jessica (34) and I (35m) have been married for 3 years, and we dated for 2 years before that and we have two year old daughter. Jessica has two sisters, the eldest one (38f) is married to Jake (40m).
A week ago, I came home from work early and wanted to scare Jessica. I tried to be sneaky, but somehow I slipped and accidentally hurt my back. Jessica came to my rescue. I went to the bedroom, and she went to the kitchen to get an ice pack. Her phone was by the bed, and a WhatsApp notification came from Jake saying, "You've got the best pair I've ever seen."
I immediately knew what was happening. I unlocked the phone and saw that she had just sent some pics and video of her t*ts to Jake, and there were no previous chats before that. When Jessica came back to the room, I showed her the chat and asked, "How long?"
I have known this woman for 10 years, and I have never seen her so mortified. Her eyes got teary, and she said, "Babe, I am sorry, but I can explain" so I said go on.
According to her, at the end of 2019, she was struggling with money, and Jake suggested he would help her out. He hinted that he would like to see her pics. So she did sent him pics and it continue over the years, She swears there was nothing emotional or physical involved—it was purely transactional. I didn't believe any of it, but she showed me on Venmo, that MF paid her $300 yesterday.
I then told her, "It's been 5 years. Try to remember if anything physical happened". For me, if even half of what she is saying is true, how could something like that not become physical? She started crying and told me she could prove it tomorrow because Jake would get suspicious if she tried to talk to him now.
I took her phone, went to a bar, got wasted for the night, and when I came back, she was still there crying. I just slept on the couch. Next day morning I gave her the phone she called Jake, conversation goes something like this
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• Jessica: Hey, I was wondering if you want some more pics?
• Jake: I'm short on money, yesterday, I spent all of it.
• Jessica: We can do something more this time and meet in person. I've changed my mind on that.
• Jake: No way. How much are we talking about?

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I felt like I was going to puke, I told her that we are done and left for office. I am not a very wealthy dude, but I would consider myself a stable guy who could take care of his family. Now I just feel like I have failed as a man, who's wife had to sell her body to meet her expected lifestyle.
When I got home that night, she looked like shit, I asked Jessica why she kept taking money from him after we got married and why she didn't ask me while we were dating. She said she didn't know how to stop and that it was easy money. I left my home that night and told her she can keep the home and the car but I want 50/50 custody of my child.
So here I am now, haven't told anyone about this. It's been a week since, staying in a hotel. I go home in the evening to play with my daughter. I'm speaking with divorce lawyers, and Jessica is constantly talking about marriage counseling.
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Comments
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thesocialmediadetox
Her sister deserves to know.
Elegant-Channel351
Gather the evidence. Contact an attorney. Follow the attorneys advice AND tell your SIL and all of the family (not the kids). Your marriage is over.
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Update - 2 days later
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Before getting to the update, some people were asking me to get a paternity test. I don't need one, I know she is my daughter because I am Indian and Jessica(my wife) is white, and my daughter looks like me.
Now for the update
After I made that post, I shared my situation with my cousin sister(30f), she is the only family member I have living in the States. I visited her place the next day, and she knocked some sense into me. I realized part of me still didn't want a divorce because I basically married Jessica against my parents' will, they wanted me to have an arranged marriage. So, my failed marriage would hurt my ego.
She also arranged a meeting with a divorce lawyer and no I am not giving up my house, I was just emotional at that time. From what I understand, in our state, adultery has pretty much zero impact on the assets, so it will likely be a 50/50 split. However, there is a high chance I can get better custody of my daughter because I have a job, and Jessica doesn't. She is also involved in "sex work" at this point, which could work in my favor.
My father-in-law called me last evening, and he was crying. He told me he didn't know what to say to me and that if he were in my place, he would have left her. Apparently, Jessica got scared and told her family everything after I didn't visit home for 2 days and had blocked her everywhere. I guess I should have done that a little while ago and jake is out of his house also.
So, I think I will go for a divorce because there is no point of reconciliation at this point when the whole relationship seems fake to me.
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Comments
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HelloJunebug
I’m really sorry you’re going through this. Sounds like you have a good path forward and I wish you the best with custody and all that. Can I ask what happened with Jake and his wife? Sounds like she kicked him out?

OOP: Yeah she kicked him out yesterday I didn't ask about them that much but it sound like my SIL is sure she is getting divorce.

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UnusualPotato1515
Any update on your SIL’s relationship with Jessica?

OOP: It sounds like everyone is trying to cut off contact with both Jessica and jake, but I think only my MIL is talking to Jessica, she was at my house last night.

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l3ex_G
What happened with the sisters marriage ?

OOP: I think my SIL is fixated on divorce at this moment.

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l3ex_G
What was the excuse BIL gave? The fact he took money from their home and gave it to your ex is crazy. I hope she can heal from that and does divorce him.

OOP: I didn't really ask, I was too overwhelmed by my father-in-law's response, he was crying nonstop.

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**New Update*\*
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Update 2: Caught My(35M) wife(34F) sending pics to BIL(40M) is our marriage is salvageable at this point? - 8 days later
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I think it will be my last update:
In-short: I caught my wife exchanging nudes with her brother in law for money and I was going for a divorce.
TL;DR: we are not getting a divorce anymore bye.
Before getting to the update some people were cursing me in my DMs saying I might not earn enough and accusing me of financially abusing my wife and taking advantage of her. I dont think this is the case for me, my salary is close to mid six figures, and we have a joint account where I put half of my in-hand salary and we don't even spend that much.
For those who were confused about the relationships in my post, my wife was exchanging pics with her brother in law(her sister's husband) not mine.
Now to the update:
After the day Jessica told everyone about the situation, my mother-in-law called and wanted to talk. She was with Jessica after the whole thing happened. I returned to my home later that evening, and her parents and her sister Josy(38F jake's wife) was there. After I got there, Jessica wanted to talk alone.
According to her, Jake was trying to pursue her since she was about 16-17. (For context, Jake and Josy have been together for 20 years now) This continued for almost 2 years. He used to make suggestive comments about her body, and she told Josy about it. But, Josy didn't believe Jessica at that time and told her she was doing this for attention. Jessica didn't tell her parents either because, according to her Josy was their parents' favorite, so nobody would have believed her.
Jake didn't do anything between those years besides casual flirting until 2019 when Jessica was having problems with rent and the whole transactional thing happened. I asked why she didn't ask me about it, and she said we were only one month into dating and it could have looked bad. She swears nothing happened after that until last year when Jake and Josy started having problems in their marriage, and he started messaging Jessica again.
She didn't entertain him at first, but she had gained some weight from pregnancy and thought I was ignoring her because of it, which I was not. At that time, I was working close to 13-14 hours a day to change my niche to another tech stack, massive layoffs were also going on, so it was a pretty bad time. Now she admitted that she liked the attention and validation this time(she called herself an attention 'whore'), but she didn't had any feelings towards him. They started exchanging pics and money and this happened three times. Then she admitted it was cheating although there were no emotional or physical actions from her side, but She said that she shouldn't have done it.
I asked her why she didn't tell me about Jake harassing her when we first met or started dating. She said she thought I wouldn't have believed her and that it was in the past. Then I asked why she didn't tell me the first time I found out about this. Her answer was the same: she believed I wouldn't have believed her because nobody else knew about this. I was just sad about the fact she doesn't trust me enough to tell me such a horrific incident.
Now, I did something I am not very proud of. I asked her about a paternity test. I know it was stupid, but emotionally I was in a weird place at that moment. She was totally emotionless throughout the whole conversation, but after hearing about the test, she broke down crying and started hyperventilating, I started crying too. After about ten minutes or so, we stopped crying, and she said okay, then asked me if we are getting a divorce. I said I don't know. josy conformed about the story jessica told me.
She then said we should get a postnup before I do something like that. That line felt like a tight slap to my face, I was like "you're not even gonna convince me not to go through with it?". Then she left with her parents. The next day, she called crying, asking not to get a divorce, and to start marriage counseling. Obviously I said ok.
So here we are now after some weird couple of days, still getting the postnup, Her IC starting next week, Our MC starting next month. Hopefully, trust will return someday.
Also Jake is denying all that according to him Jessica "seduced" him for money and my SIL is getting a divorce.
I know some people are gonna call me a doormat, but I don't care.
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EDIT: I'm not surprised by the comments.
Maybe my decision doesn't seem obvious to anyone because I haven't talked about my emotions the whole time, and I'm not good at discussing them. I'm getting a paternity test and doing the postnup to protect my assets. Divorce isn't off the table, one misstep and it's going to happen. Maybe you guys expected the ending where I hook up with her sister for revenge—yeah, if you believe those stories, you have a long way to go in life. Anyway, I'm logging off. Don't forget to touch some grass fellas.
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Comments
ampliny

Obviously I said ok 😳.

intotheocean5
narrator: it was not obvious at all
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Kuranes_ov_Celephais

I know some people are gonna call me a doormat

That's because you are. She's lied to you from the start, and you will certainly discover other lies she's told to you. Hopefully you actually are going through with the paternity test.
Marriage counselling is to help couples that can't communicate effectively talk to each other with a neutral arbiter. It won't actually make her care about you or value you. It's not going to make her into a person with different values. She lied and betrayed you for cheap validation and a small amount of cash. That's what she did and who she is. The tears are because of consequences. The mismatch in values isn't going to change.
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BakerLovePie
Not going to slag you for being a doormat. Doormats are good things. It prevents the men who will be coming over to be with your wife from tracking mud on the floor.
You stayed, you know she's a cheater so what happens from here on out is on you.
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I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP.
Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments

Im going to be completely honest with this post. I have nothing to lie about.
I fell in love 6 years ago with this girl. When we first kissed we had literal fireworks go off and it wasn't a holiday. It was that moment I knew I loved her and wanted to be with her. About 1 ½ years into our relationship our son was born. We started having issues around here this time. During this time we tried to be more open with our relationship. But I fucked up our relationship and start talking to other girls out of spite.
Why was I spite full? because I found her selling nudes to her friends, She blamed me for cheating (at the time i wasnt), She tried to kill herself with me in the car (I stopped her from doing it. But again she blames me because i wrestled the keys from her and i was too rough. However i was the one that left with bruises and scratches while she was perfectly fine. ) She made sure to tell me every argument how im not big enough for her.
I never slept with any of the girls. I guess I was just seeking attention or some affection. This put a huge strain on us. At the time I didnt feel loved from her. She was an amazing mom and GF and was best women I could ever ask for. But I just felt like she wanted something bettemore. She always made sure to remind me how she enjoyed sex with her ex more. He could pleasure her in ways i never could. I felt hopeless I couldnt even pleasure the girl i loved with out her thinking of someone else. It would make me go soft and we would argue. She would tell me that shes too loose and that she should've never slept with her ex because of that. It just created an endless cycle of really great sex, Sex that we would both end up crying over.
We shortly after started using toys to spice things up and make it more pleasurable for her. until I heard her moaning a way shes never moaned before. it was that moment i realized I never pleasured her. She faked it.
We were planning a trip to LA for a anime EXPO. I had tricked her into giving me her ring size. I spent 1k on just the hotel and tickets and VIP tickets to a after party. I was about to marry her. I was pricing rings out and trying to get the best deal. But then this....
Almost 3 years into our relationship and things are getting bad. Shes drinking almost everyday and im working avoiding the drama. I have friends over one time and were building computers. She got so drunk in front of them she started spilling out my insecurity's. everyone told her to stop and just go lay down. She stood up and almost face planted into the ground but i caught her. I put her on my back and walked her to our room. I explained to her that she hurt me really bad and I cant even talk to her because i was so upset. She just replied "im nothing to you anyways.". I did my best to tell her i love her im just upset and need some time away. So i left her in the room drunk. (looking back this was a huge mistake) When i came back she was crying and just saying i dont love her anymore. no matter what i said i couldnt convince her otherwise. we went to bed upset.
about a month later we have our big fight. Im trying to get ready for work and shes leaving to her sisters graduation. Shes already mad im not going because of work. She starts asking for the keys while im brushing my teeth. I told her theyre in my pocket give me a second. she came in and patted me down like i was in jail (I have PTSD from going to juvi for a false report. She knows this.) I snap and tell her dont ever pat me down like im an inmate. She just said you use to be one. IDK what is was but that set me off. I held my anger in and didnt say a single word. Until i asked her for the keys. She told me they were on the coffee table. I couldnt find them, so i kept asking and she gave the same answer. after repeatedly looking and asking, I eventually snapped and shoved her into her chair. She slid back in the chair and hit her head. I was in disbelief i just put my hands on the lady i love.(I was always taught to never do this. I have never put my hands on a lady that didnt put her hands on me. I live in a very ghetto city, women out here will throw hands like prisoners.) But out of anger i just told her to grab my keys. she grabbed them and just said im calling the cops. I left to work. I shouldve never left, I shoudlve done everything in my power to make it right. At work i was contemplating how i could make it better how i can fix us. then 2 cops walk in.
The next year and ahalf is just court and us not talking. I beat the case simply because she was caught lying and Im not a women beater. She even admitted that i have never done anything like this before. It was completely out of character for me to ever touch a women that way. I didnt even like doing those things sexually. it turned me off greatly. Till this day i regret it. I wish i never did it. It ruined everything we had. After the trial one of the jurors talked to me. ill never forget his words. " you need to find your zen. whatever it is you need to find it. Take a moment to yourself before you do something." During this time I cant find work because of the pending case so im broke almost died from starvation and had to resort to eating expired food or thrown away trash. I stayed with a friend for a month but his mom (he took care of her) didnt want me there any longer. So I left. That put a huge strain on our friendship.
After the case we start talking again. I ask her to take me back and give me another chance. She told me she didnt love me anymore and should've listened. But she still gave me another chance. When things were good they were great. we went on dates and spent time as a family. it was almost like we were a family. I never had a real family and it was odd for me. I guess i couldnt handle it or something. However I loved every second of it. But we start getting into agreements about the past. Both of us are gaslighting and claiming shit didnt happen when we both knew it did. Each time we get into an argument I flash back to that moment. Then i Flash back to what the juror told me. I thought finding some zen would just mean some time apart till we can talk normally. However that put alot of strain on us. We would be find for accouple weeks then not talk for accouple weeks. this had been repeating for a year.
Finally around christmas she told me she's done and im just a loser who wants to use her. That i just need to move on. I tried.. but I couldnt, I loved her and still do. She just insisted that i was using her and that these breaks we were taking were for me to sleep around with no consequence (I only slept with one girl this entire break up and that was while i was living with my friend.) while we were dating I stopped using dating apps and tried my best to focus on us. I wanted nothing more then for us to be a family again. But i guess she didnt believe it.
A month later my brother and I get into an argument. I was emotionally grieving still so i didn't have the energy to argue. So i just walked away. in doing so my brother took this as an opportunity to tackle me and procced to knock me out and beat on me. His adopted son had to pull him off of me. I went and grabbed a knife and told him to try it again. His wife called the police as I was trying to leave and they arrested me for various charges. when i went to jail I was SA and Assaulted by the sheriff deputies. They beat me in a cell and just claimed i was resisting. But they gave no commands and My arresting officer put it on his paper work that i was compliant. I have pictures to prove how bad they beat me. bruises from head to toe and a big welt on my forehead from one officer punching me while i was on the ground with them in full control of all my arms and legs.
My EX came and visited me in jail. I got out of jail and they dropped all they charges. My brothers wife had submitted videos thinking it would help her side but it disproved it. That night i told my ex she was my everything my world that i cant continue on without her. I needed my family. I needed her and my son in my life because im literally nothing with out them. (Before we got together i was a complete loser. everything I ever did was in for her and my son. even now im a complete loser hence why im writing this.) We spent the night a motel that night and I have to admit. If she didnt spend that night with me I wouldn't be here RN. I thought things would go back to normal. But i did the same BS. Each time I became emotionally overwhelmed I just shut everyone out so I woudlnt hurt them. I dont like hurting people emotionally or physically. So i thought it would be best to just leave them alone. I cant hurt those who im not around. This was again another mistake. I kept going back to shutting everyone out. She grew tired of it.
On easter 2024 we had our last moment together. That night I had noticed her phone blowing up with tinder notifications. for my own well being i decided to not look. But I had checked her instagram which was full of guys flirting with her. She didnt turn them down or state she was with someone. infact when i asked her about it she just told me she cant control what other guys say and we were together when it happened. But she can and it was... We didnt have sex we didnt cuddle. she just went straight to bed from work. We had planned to have easter together as a family. I was so excited because we didnt get to have christmas together. (I had spent christmas with my son but I was crying the whole day. I ruined my sons christmas because I couldnt hold it together.) We wake up two hours early. She took the whole two hours to get ready and made us late. I brought it up in the car and told her that she took to long so we missed everything. So we agreed to go to the 5pm easter. IDK what it was but I snapped. Maybe it was her telling me if i helped we would've been on time. (i did help and it we were still late) Maybe I was just overwhelmed because I couldnt provide for my family a decent easter. But i didnt want my son to see and I didnt want to go off on her because she didnt deserve that. So i got out of the car and told her to go home ill see her there. She left two hours away with my son and his easter gifts. For me it was an equal walk time. This is again another moment in which i fucked up and lost the girl of my dreams because I couldnt handle my emotions.
She kept making a statement that day "If all I do is piss you off then why are we together?" That kept playing in my mind that entire walk. But i figured by the time i got home she we could talk about it. I told her She didnt piss me off it just frustrated me that she cant see how her taking 2 hrs made us late. So I called her later on when i got home. I started apologizing for getting out of the car. I told my son that was not safe and never to do that. Then I went off on her and told her She ruined my easter like she ruined my christmas. I told her she was right if all she did was piss me off deliberately then why bother keep trying this? I again just blocked her. She tried to reach out to me on discord but I feared she was going to tell me to move on. So i didnt reply.
A month goes by and she wont let me see my son. She just says if you want him come get him. remind you its been almost 3 years and I havent been able to get a job because I fail almost every background check for my career. (security) I have applied to so many places and get ignored. even temp jobs or jobs people typically wouldn't want. There was no way I could drive a total of 4 hrs. I was scrounging for money just to put food on the table for my son. There been so many times where he asked me dad why arent you eating wiht me. I just tell him that I ate earlier and im not hungry. I also have other bills im behind on and theyre coming after me now. She convinced my son that i dont want to see him and that i dont care about them anymore. Everytime I would talk to them on the phone my son would question wether or not i loved him and would always ask why i dont come see him. TBH some of it felt like a trap. I felt like she wanted me to go over there so she could call the cops on me for picking up my son outside of designated hours. Or that she had her family waiting for me to shoot me. I could hear her in the background sounding out words to my son and he would start calling saying some really negative stuff. Irresponsible, disappointment, disgusting Those are the ones that I heard her sounding out with him. I lost my shit and went off on her and my son heard it all.
My poor boy.
I called her every name in the book and told her i still love hear but she drives me crazy. She made good points that if i loved her i wouldnt be saying these things also i wouldnt block her for weeks while were fighting. He heard her say she doesn't love me anymore and that her new lover stretched her out and she loved it. That i never loved her and just used her. I honestly was beyond hurt. I just told her i was happy someone was able to pleasure her in ways i never could that i wisht them the best. Then she kept egging it on and I snapped again threating him. Threating myself. It ended with her blocking me. and that was that. Havent heard from her in almost a week. Same with my son. I call everyday. (yes you can get around a blocked #)
Its mothers day and I havent stopped crying. I have her gift from when we were together. That was another reason it was hard for me to travel 2 hrs. I had spent the last couple months saving what i could to get her a gift.
Why am i writing this. Because im at my witts end. Im nothing with out her. She was my drive my focus and my world. My son gave me strength to be a better man and a father figure. I have nether now and i have no one to blame but myself. My own actions have pushed away those i love the most. I tried protecting them from the possibility that I might do something stupid again. That just pushed them further away. I ruined our relationship and shes found someone who can not only pleasure her but care for her. I just hope he makes her happy.
If youre reading this and you have someone special in your life... please do me a favor and tell them you love them and explain to them why you love them. Because one day you may never get to do it again. One day they may hate you and some poeple could look back and say yeah thats okay because i know i tried my best. But thats not the case here. I couldve done so much more to see her or plan dates with her. I shouldve tried harder to get a job and be a man. I ruined the best relationship I had. She was my world and I just let her go.
Part 2: Not about my EX
My dad had leukemia and survived and still chose to leave. He has gotten drunk and thrown fireball handles at the back of my head. He has spread rumors to my friends i was gay because i got a tongue piercing.
I was falsly imprisoned for a crime I didnt commit. I was a teenager i was with this girl and she lied to me. She said her ex raped her. The one time i happend to see him i was high AF but i felt like i had to defend her honor. He won that fight and I got a concussion that almost killed me. Her dad an adult rush me in my own home. but i got charged because i was caught on his property.(I went to his house to say goodbye to her. nothing more nothing less.) I served 150 days of my life in a cell. these are days ill never get back.
I was SA and assaulted by sheriff and no one believes me. the cops mocked me for me trying to file a complaint. other cops made jokes about me infront of my ex. "how can a women SA you. Are you gay?"
I was SA by a mentally challenged person at church. And again by my brothers friend. I never said anything because the mentally challenged person was caught doing it to someone else. My own brother (the one that tackled me) Mocked the kid and his older brother about this in front of me. "At least my little brother wasn't assaulted by and R word" He just didn't know i was the first victim.
My own actions have caused my family to leave me. I dont have physical custody because the courts gave her 100%. I cant even see my son or call him. She wont even obey the court orders. But the moment i want to spend more then 8 hrs a week with my son (only when were fighting) She calls the cops and tells them im not following court orders and im trying to kidnap my son. Then the cops get all tough guy and try to act like im some dead beat. How TF am I a bad dad if all I want is to spend time with him? How am I a bad dad if I Jumped throw a million hoops for the courts just to get visitation?
But to finally end this, I have reached my last resort. im enlisting into the military and if i dont get accepted im ending it all. I have nothing left for me here. I have ruined everything I have spent the last 6 years building. All i do is push away those who love me. And those who managed to stick around are tired of me. I feel like nothing but a burden and a POS dad for not keeping his family together.
I have no one to blame but myself. Thats why i have to eliminate the problem at its source. By either leaving or by not existing.

I just discovered text messages that prove my Wife slept with her co worker and was also sending him nudes and selfies. So going back to the beginning, my wife and I have been together for 8 years, 5 of them married. We have a 5 year old son. About 2 years ago I started to develop suspicions that she was seeing someone. She became distant and cold with me. Sex was becoming more and more rare. I also noticed she was putting a lot of effort into her appearance when getting ready for work. We started to argue more often, it was a rocky time. Well one night, I decided to look through her phone while she was in the kitchen and my heart sank to my stomach, there was months of messages back and forth between her and one of her co workers. In these messages they would tell each other how much they loved each other and she would even say things like “if I wasn’t married I would totally be with you.” I confronted her and kicked her out to her parents house. I called her mom to let her know about the messages I found. I will admit, I lost my cool a bit and tore up some of her heels that I knew she really loved. We spent 3 months separated. I gave her the option to leave if she wanted to, letting her know that I would not hold a grudge if she didn’t love me anymore and wanted to be with this other guy. She decided she wanted to stay and work on the marriage if I would accept that. I let her know that I would only want to try if she didn’t sleep with him, which she said she only ever kissed him once. I love my wife very much and I was willing to forgive her and agreed to work on our marriage, it was an extremely difficult 6 months because I would constantly bring up the situation and remind her that she better not be making a fool of me still or I’m lawyering up and leaving her. She promised me she wasn’t and she worked really hard to prove to me that she did want to be in this marriage. Well fast forward a year, last October, and I got message on instagram from a fake profile, the message read “hey just a heads up, I accidentally saw your wife at her co workers house, this is the address ********.”
I showed her the message and let her know we were going to divorce. She denied it and claimed she didn’t know what it was about. I did some research on her location of her phone and messages and there was nothing that showed signs of her being at this address. Later that night she told me that is was her coworker who had a psycho moment and wanted to ruin our marriage because he was jealous that she chose me. (I guess he called her to confess about it)
That was last October and I shrugged it off and believed her because of how much effort she had been putting into our marriage since I discovered the affair. Well fast forward to this past Friday. I was cleaning out my car and I found a thumb drive that I didn’t recognize. I asked my wife if it was her and she said no. I let it sit there until yesterday when I decided to plug it into my laptop (I know it’s not advised to plug in unknown thumb drives but I was curious to figure out who’s it was by what was in it) It had 1 file saved as “new folder” this folder was created 3 weeks ago. I opened it and it was images of text messages. Turns out, the affair was still going on up until last July. In these messages I found selfies she would send him, some of her butt in just underwear, and even 2 full body nudes. It was only her messages though, none of the coworkers. But I found his name all over in these messages, still telling him she loved him, one where she’s describing how him telling her to kiss him while he came made her cum. Also one asking him how good his pullout game was and saying “no you didn’t cum in me, only all over my dress.” There was about 12 messages that span from February to July. In the last message, it was her calling off the affair. Telling him that she has felt terrible since the beginning, that she is happy with what she has, and her requesting he delete everything she ever sent him. I am beyond disgusted and shocked. Even though it’s been almost a year since she cut it off, I feel so stupid that she was doing this an entire year after she was telling me she loved me and that this had stopped when I first found out about it. I’m having trouble collecting my thoughts. I’m also having trouble figuring out where that thumb drive came from. I doubt my wife was carrying proof of her affair around. The only other thing I can think of is that the ex affair did this, he’s still bitter and wants to hurt us both. But that would mean he needed to somehow gain access to my car. I’m completely confused at this point. Would I be stupid to let this go since she called it off last July? Should I just lawyer up and divorce her.

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So this "girl" started texting me, pretending to be a normal uni girl from Leeds. One fine evening she started asking me if I'd be down for a "sneaky picture exchange". I politely declined obviously recognizing the scam. A few hours later, she blackmails me with pictures of a made up convo containing a random d*ck pic etc and screenshots of my followers list as well as attaching a random pic of my face to said screenshots. She followed this with counting down from 10 like a child and blackmail for 300 pounds.
I immediately blocked her, reported her for sharing explicit images and deactivated my Instagram account (all within a minute of this). I also reported her on my other accounts for the same.
Am I still under any real threat of her still leaking these made up convos? How long should I wait before reactivating? Any other suggestions for actions?