…okay, so after going through acute appendicitis and an emergency appendectomy while I had COVID in January of 2022, less than six months after giving birth to our youngest, I’m now nursing my husband in bed after he just got done vomiting pretty much everything he’s eaten today. He’s been suffering from increasingly worse abdominal pains for the last seven hours or so.
I’ve seen the man doubled over with gas pains (which is what he was originally thinking this was,) so I know his pain tolerance isn’t super high, but the locale of the pain he is suffering right now, plus the vomiting nearly 7 hours in, coupled with the fact that he does feel warm to the touch in the lower right quadrant of his abdomen and forehead (even though he is not complaining of pain on the right side yet, just a generalized central pain deep in his abdomen about 3 to 4 inches above his belly button,) is all, in truth, freaking me the fuck out. In five years I’ve never seen him like this.
Problem is, the ED nearest us would be lucky to have him triaged and tests ordered within a 6 to 8 hour window, I’m scheduled to work second shift tomorrow, I’ve already had to take a ton of time off due to literally every other emergency that could happen (I’m dealing with an ovarian cyst large enough to warrant surgery, I had to take an entire day to fix the tag on our only vehicle, the grapefruit on my ovary comes with a host of debilitating side effects that have me in and out of the office right now, and I’m literally six months into this new phase of my career. At the end of the day, I don’t care if it’s not a good look if I have to request PTO to take him in, but we don’t have anybody close enough to us to watch the baby and I don’t really feel that an emergency department is an appropriate setting for her right now, co-pay is through the roof…you get the idea.
So I guess I’m asking this: at the time of this post, it’s been about 30 minutes since he’s vomited, it was just the one instance so far, he says he doesn’t feel the ‘stabbing’ pain anymore, just pressure, but he’s snuggled up to me and is quite warm now, like bordering on feverish, and when I push on his abdomen, the warmth/pressure/deep pain behind and above his belly button (only when I push right now,) is just really worrying me. Enough to ask internet strangers if I should take him in. Might he have the beginning stages of appendicitis?
I tried calling the back of his insurance card several hours ago - they used to have a 24 hour nurse helpline where they would give limited medical advice, but it was better than nothing, however, this time I got a customer service rep, so I figured I would ask where they would give limited medical advice, but it was better than nothing, however, this time I got a customer service rep, so I figured I would ask the fine citizens here on Reddit. Worth the trip? I’m down for a paid day off, not so down for subjecting my family to a nasty ED waiting room for 8-12 hours if it’s NOT appendicitis.
He wants to get some rest right now; it’s just after 11 PM my time and truthfully, I’m working a combination of first, second, and third shift(s) with a maximum of seven hour “breaks” in between and we’re all exhausted. Should I let him sleep a little and assess when he wakes, or should I not even take the chance?

So today was it and I called the CPS hotline.
My Q is my wife, and we've been in this fight about 3 years now. She tried to kill herself about a year ago with with a fist full of ibuprofen and Benadryl. Shortly after that I took her car to the interlock shop and signed up under their voluntary program, and that was probably my worst mistake. By getting a breathalyzer installed before a DUI she never really faced any consequences. Just replaced blown out tires from curbs and body panels from hitting street signs. We have two kids under 10 and my thought was the breathalyzer was protecting them.
Well that may have stopped her driving drunk but it didn't stop her drinking, she just saved it for the evenings, or on the weekends, and suddenly it became always me bringing the kids places or they couldn't go because she couldn't start her car.
Then last fall she started drinking hand sanitizer. Purell Omni defense...I Guess they didn't put the stuff in it that makes you throw up like they do for mouthwash. So that's been the last 6 months of so of finding those bottles everywhere. Arguments fights threats even getting kicked out for a week didn't stop her. Tried naltrexone to no avail. Two weeks ago started on antabuse and I don't know how, but STILL drinking. I didn't even know that was possible.
Wednesday she drank sanitizer because she "found an old hidden bottle and had a moment of weakness"
Friday she drank because she"wanted to hurt me"
Saturday I took the 8 year old fishing at 5am, left the 5 year old with her, and came home by two to find her flush faced, bloodshot eyes and bumping into walls and chewing my ass for nothing.
I had threatened CPS before but this made it clear she wasn't on the right track. So I called my therapist today and went over what happened. She agreed that engaging in self harm by drinking sanitizer while the primary caregiver crosses a line and that she would call it in as a mandatory reporter and that I should too.
The call took about 5 minutes, they gave me a case number and hung up all in less time than it took to write this post. They said they follow up within 24 hours.
Haven't told her yet as I want her to have one last night of peaceful sleep before whatever happens happens, but I imagine the next few days may be tough.
When she doesn't drink she's great- wakes the kids up, cooks breakfast and does homework and gets them to school on time, and it's a real Dr Jekyll Mr Hyde. If I engineer a family trip for a week where we are all together say in the woods camping it's love and sunshine and roses but as soon as we get back and she slithers off to her stash the monster comes out.
I mean I just can't get over hand sanitizer! I even went on junky forums where druggies and alcoholics give each other tips and everyone there says nah man don't drink sanitizer that's dangerous!
But I can't take it any more. I can't wait for her to go too far or to kill herself or to find out she's shot her kidneys or liver and have to tell my kids why didn't I do more while we bury their mom.
Anyway that's my rant, I can't tell my family or friends so I'm telling you all. Thanks for the support and someone tell me I'm not wrong for finally bringing her hopefully into the world of consequences.

33M, caucasian, non-smoker, social drinker, history of SVT with overall low risk factors. Currently taking Pantapropozole, Carvidolol, Multivitamin, Iron, Miralax. I'll attempt to make this short-winded and hope this counts as appropriate for this subreddit!. Around ~August 2023, I suddenly started having random spikes/drops in my sugar levels, as well as fatigue and notable weight loss (40 pounds over 4 1/2 months). My previous PCP started the workup and over the next ~3 months, I was in and out of hospital admissions/countless doctor visits. Over this time I started to develop more symptoms, most notably night sweats, increasing GI issues, and worsening fatigue/tiredness.
Because the symptoms were mostly non-specific, I had pretty broad, general workups with few things off (my hemoglobin dropped several points in November then slowly recouped back to 15.5. Saw a hematologist and he basically just said "you had a bleed, it clotted off and now you're recovering. If it drops again come back to me"). Full body CT w/contrast, MRI of spine/brain, colonoscopy/endoscopy, spinal tap, echo, CPX, countless blood tests which I would fail to mention all of, but including endocrine/rheumatological and autoimmune markers, as well as viral potential causes.
At some point in December my gp basically threw his hands up and said "we don't have anything to work with, the few abnormal things are recovering". Fast forward to February, I end up in the ER with severe nausea and a dull pain below my lower left rib cage. They do a repeat CT and mention that my spleen is still "minimally enlarged" but there are no noticable masses, and my liver is "no longer slightly enlarged". These are two things I was never told about, I suppose because they felt they weren't significant enough? But made me realize I needed another opinion/better guidance. The radiologist also noted on the report that I had "mild haziness near the mesenteric root of the pancreas level", but "pancreas unremarkable otherwise" as well as normal lymph nodes in the area. He recommended checking for pancreatitis and/or mesenteritis.
I go into a new GP in March. She's fantastic - extremely thorough and importantly doesn't immediately try to blame this all on the easy things. She gets me into GI and hematology (had another GI doctor but she wanted me to get another opinion, as the old one basically said your colonoscopy/egd are normal, come back in 7 years). Hematology came first, and he basically said objectively, you acutely then chronically bled, used up all your iron stores which caused excess fatigue (fatigue/tiredness is still a primary issue for me but is substantially better than a month ago when I started iron supplementation) and now you're recouping. We can do a bone marrow biopsy or a PET scan, but I can tell you what they will show: nothing. I asked about the spleen/livemesentery involvement and he just said "your blood work and scans show no sign of a mass, if malignancy were making you this symptomatic, it would be more obvious and you wouldn't have seen any improvement. In addition your liver has reduced in size and your spleen is still barely enlarged with no signs of mass, malignancy doesn't act this way".
I leave the visit at least more optimistic about the situation, but still feeling awful and like this is some type of GI related malignancy that's killing me, frankly. (As a side note, symptoms became so problematic that I had to stop working full time which has obviously been another stresser during all of this).
Then the GI visit comes (about 2 weeks ago now at this point). We go over everything and he just basically says "let's skip the MRI and go for a pillcam to get a closer look at your small intestines, and an endoscopic ultrasound to take a closer look at your pancreas and this inflamed part of your mesentery". Sounds great to me! I know people go years looking for a diagnosis sometimes, but the last 8 months have been the most exhausting/stressful/longest of my life and he seemed adamant about getting to the bottom of this.
Here's where my concern/question comes in: back in December in my last hospital admission, the hospitalist asked what I thought this may be. I pretty quickly said PC, because of the way things progressed and the initial, non-specific symptoms + sugar issues (which seem to have mostly gotten better? I've also regained 30 pounds since, which is a "good" sign I know). He kind of laughed and just said "your pancreas has been imaged and looked at twice by two separate radiologists and neither saw anything to worry about" (this was before the February scan showing mesentery involvement). I kind of gave up on that idea/worry for a long time because of the assured way he answered my concern over it, but now I've got it in my head that that's what has been the culprit all this time and have been told CT's miss signs of PC pretty frequently, and the mesentery/spleen findings are a result of pancreatic tail or body involvement that's spread, which the GI did mention it was unlikely to be in the head as you'd almost certainly see bile duct involvement/jaundice evidence at this point, or the classic pale/clay stools, which I haven't had.
I know there is pretty strong evidence to this point to suggest it isn't a pancreatic tumor, given 3 contrast CT's now over 9 months with no sign of it, improvement in some symptoms (night sweats are virtually gone, fatigue is significantly better), some of the more obvious/common symptoms not being there, like the stool/jaundice, but instinctively this just feels like the right place to look. I'm not terrified of a diagnosis at this point, but I'm absolutely mortified that this is going to get worse before I have the chance to even figure out what it is because of the things that have continued to worsen (nausea/malaise in the morning especially, tiredness/dyspnea... Well, the dyspnea has improved since the iron supplementation as well, but considering I could get up and run five miles 9 months ago and now a small flight of stairs whip me...). The idea of losing ~6 months of valuable time if I'd pushed this concern harder back in December is also a hard pill to swallow. Speaking of, the pillcam is Thursday, and the EUS is the 28th. I tried to move it up but they are booked out (I feel like I they suspected pancreatic cancer they would have got me in sooner as well) and I don't want to push it anymore in the case that it isn't that, and I potentially take someone's spot that needs it before I do. I guess I'm asking for someone to talk me off this ledge and trust that something obvious wasn't missed, or even recommend I continue to push this as maybe it sounds like a familiar situation someone has witnessed in the past where it ended up being something like PC. I think I've mentally accepted almost every potential outcome of this situation except for that one, which likely has to do with me being intimately familiar with what it looked like in the end for a friend.
That was... Long-winded. Sorry, I tried haha. I wish you all the best of health moving forward!

So typical you might think! Yes, but i just wanted to get it out, and if you have an opinion that’s awesome.
I never liked a friend before, im 23F and two years ago I left my country for 3 months to work in a ski resort in the united states. There i met some amazing people, loved my job loved my coworkers, at the end of the season i started talking to this guy at work that always showed himself as shy so we never got to talk too much before, I discovered he was super nice and funny (really important) started to get along and hang out outside work with my other two friends, we would party at his house and stuff and then we all left because we were all mostly foreign, except from him.
After that experience I wanted to go back for the next season as I really enjoyed my stay there and all the amazing people I met and experiences I had. I was also excited to see this guy again as I knew he was also coming back, but none of my other friends were. At that point I realized I liked him but I wanted to think of him as a friend. We have so similar taste in music which is a big thing for me because i love and connect through music, i get really excited when someone else likes the same as I, and we also had the same sense of humor which was really cool.
When I went back for the other season we started hanging out way more often, I would go to his apartment all the time, we would do everything together even go to the supermarket which is really simple, but I enjoyed his company a lot. Often we would stay until late just talking. Everyone started noticing and thought we were together which started me wondering. He is a great guy, he’s the type of guy that has difficulties talking to girls, he would never try anything romantic by his initiative, he’s not disrespectful or a guy that’s always into girls and basically simp, not at all. He’s really funny and nice, he trust few people and keeps a small circle. At work we connected a lot with each other, every time something fun happened we would look at each other and smile or laugh, or would go to tell the other that something happened with a smile on our faces and laugh about it. I loved my other co workers but he was the only one i shared this complicity with. We would start making plans with other people but ending up alone somehow. He always remembers stupid things that I told him long ago and makes jokes about it in a smart way, which drives me crazy. He opened up to me with lots of things about himself, we noticed we have a lot in common. The thing is, we did a lot of things together, connected and he was always there to help me, specially because i broke my leg so he would always pick me up and help me get up and down my stairs and stuff. I remember he once mentioned that a girl friend of his tried to tell him that she liked him and he didn’t felt the same and thought that was annoying when a friend falls for you and stuff, which made me feel insecure because I do like him and he is my friend, but i don’t know if he does like me.
I ended up really confused. I don’t know if what we had was just a really good friendship or if he had feelings for me too. Once i went to a party and saw his roommates, he wasn’t there cause he is not a party guy, but they basically told me to tell him to come, that if i told him to come he would do it, which also got me overthinking.
I don’t know, he was never clear with intentions, or i was too confused, he didn’t had that relationship with no one else there, he didn’t treat the others the same way, but still, there were some times when he had opportunities to get closer to me and he didn’t.
Now i’m already in my country and i miss him like hell. Even tho he was a great friend we don’t text too often, cause he doesn’t text too much. Every little conversation we had on text I started it, he seems to answer friendly but he doesn’t talks to me by his initiative . Recently it was his birthday, i texted him told him i missed him, nothing too crazy, and he never responded me, which ended up breaking my heart and making me feel super bad. He did responded to the work gc when others texted there later in the day.
That’s basically it but compressed. I don’t have the guts to tell him anything and i don’t want to ruin anything or make it uncomfortable. It just makes me really sad because i think we get along really well we’re really alike, have similar thoughts, similar taste, i think we’re compatible and he’s the kind of guy you don’t find everywhere, so it’s been difficult for me to pursuit something with someone else romantically, cause i always think of him.
I’m screwed basically.

[OC Intro: The game is modded to increase basic jobs cost, seasonal events are disabled. Much of the crash details are based on NASA/SP-2008-565 Columbia Crew Survival Investigation Report recommendations especially Chapter 3 "Occupant Protection".]
The ship is without power, and Tightniks can't run the radar much without draining the batteries. He has only a few minutes of APU power left, goes over the best clearing he can find, and radars it. It varies by only a few feet from the aerodynamic glideslope there. He spots it out on the cameras and circles to go after that spot. He's only at two hundred feet now. With one hand on the stick, he uses the other to open the pressure equalization valve on the side hatch, then at one hundred feet, gets it undogged. Depending on how much damage he's going to get, it's less likely to be stuck closed and trap him. The dynamic vacuum this pulls in the cockpit rips most of the survival pack data cards from that rack and scatters them across the landscape. Crap, I'm gonna need those! Refocusing on surviving the next few seconds, he turns on the radar for the final approach, takes a last look around, then straight ahead at his forward camera and PFD, he clicks his HANS and shoulder strap locks in; after that, he can barely move, but that now is better than dying in this crash with a broken neck. He's a decent pilot and brings up the flare gently. Bringing up the alpha on this delta-winged ship, he balloons a little, but keeps the nose going up and restores a zero aerodynamic sink rate just above the highest terrain indicated by the radar altimeter. The ship bumps a little in the ground effect, and he can see the radar altitude cycling irregularly up and down about five feet at a time. Rougher than it looked from higher up! The body flap protecting the dead engines hits first, and the nose comes rapidly down. It hits, the screens go blank, and Tightniks is surrounded by airbags, some lifting his feet from the rudder petals and his hand from the control stick. It's blinding, it's disorienting, it's noisy, and, to his relief, it's long! It takes several seconds before the crashing cockpit stops moving. How many times did he flip over? Did he go sideways and roll? Am I rightside up? Are we really stopped on the ground? The airbags deflate, and he can move his arms. He gets his restraints loose and inspects himself. "Uck!" he says out loud (without the 'f'). No broken bones. His pressure suit can take his blood pressure. 116/81, pulse 112, blood oxygen 99 reads off on his left arm, I'll friggin' take it!
The ship is amazingly intact from what he can tell. He can't get any readings. The systems test meter seems to be working, but can't find any voltages anywhere. The ship seems to be completely dead. Behind him, 10 passenger seats are all surrounded by airbags and the back of the cabin ends in some sort of dirt-and-gravel and there's a bit of daylight seeping in around the edges. He was the only one on board, though, so their deployment was mostly academic (they might have stiffened the structure a little during the crash, but that's probably trivial.) Tightniks gets out of his spacesuit. The air on this planet is actually breathable. He gets the hatch open, steps outside and-
"A green shimmer erupts then disappears, and you hit the ground."
The human emerges from the glowing green mist and hits the ground. Groans. Pushes against that ground, trying to get back up. Where am I? What's my name? I remember nothing. Aren't babies born naked? He's got a dark blue button-down shirt on. A uniform? A shoulder patch. Gets up, looks around. I feel really heavy. I'm not that fat, am I? He picks up a small stone from the ground, this also feels heavier than it should. He rises to his feet and holds it out somewhat (he's unable to fully extend his arm) and lets it go. The stone hits the ground near his feet quickly and with remarkable speed. It's the gravity, it's greater than it is on- ...where am I from? This is- ...not my home planet? "Oooh..."
"Ka?" it says.
What is that? It's cute, at least.
It is not tame. He has no hope of catching it on foot. The creature seems to like the berries. Maybe if I gather some of those into one place and set some kind of trap...
33s: First trap.
I got one! The human lumbers up to the trap and gets the catch open. Do you bite? It doesn't matter much to me; I'm so friggin' screwed.
It doesn't. It looks at the human with a sense of wonder, actually. A blink and tilt of the head. Seems almost to be asking, Is it you? My purpose? My savior? Once out of the trap, which is totally wrecked, he has to make a new one from scratch, it follows him around like a imprinted hatchling bird.
Wiry little fella, you are. You're going to need some bulking up to do anything useful. The- ...'trimp', I guess... The trimp seems just barely able to feed itself. The human lets him into the broken ship's intact cabin, and it curls up comfortably in a passenger seat for a nap.
1m03s: Second trap.
"Apparently the Trimps breed if they're not working. Doesn't look pleasant."
What are they doing?
The trimps appear to be androgynous, and these two have paired off in the back of the ship. They're holding something carefully within a few hours, feeding it berries, grass, and- ...corundum.
Corundum?? Whatever that is, it isn't a baby.
1m35s: Third trap.
Only it IS a baby! The third trimp he trapped immediately joined the other two in raising it. They have a strange diet of food the human has found compatible with his own body, but they also eat rocks! They're careful to crush and sort aluminate minerals from silcate ones and only eat aluminate. Actually, they don't eat aluminate, they're only feeding it to the baby.
2m06s: Fourth trap.
All four are raising the same child, who is just starting to toddle. It seems these fellas have alumina or maybe even aluminum bones. The human takes a nap and wakes to find the first child grown up and they're starting to raise a second child, all five of them.
2m46s: Huts.
The human found a working bit of electronics. He calls it a pad, but maybe it's more like a smartphone. It has plans for two residential structures. The first, the smaller one, he can build right away, but the second one needs something called "drywall", and he has to figure out how to make that before he can build it. Huts and houses, apparently.
3m13s: 10 pop, full, first farmer.
The trimp he trained to farm and make paper took an incredible 50 units of food to get bulked up to do the work, and now it's not participating in rearing the child. But less than an hour after the trimp started farming and pulping, the child was out on its own, and the trimps did not start another. The ten seats on the ship were all full. Well, eleven counting the one up front that the human sleeps in. The pilot starts exploring the area.
3m28s: Battle.
Wait, what are you do-
The hostile roars and charges at the human, but one of his trimps jumps in front of him with a stick and they fight. It started right when the human got far enough away from the ship that the hostile non-trimps away from the ship began to regard him as leaving his own territory. After the trimp defeats the first enemy, it continues after other hostiles.
3m53s: Shield I in Z1c5.
The human is easily able to recover the loot in the territory cleared by the fighting trimp. Then he sees something glinting in the- That can't be! What the heck is that? It's a data card that fits his pad. It quite clearly regards trimp combat. He gets it loaded into his pad and studies it. I can do this, it just takes some wood. He returns to the ship to discover that they had already started on a new child before the fighter had even expired in battle. The human concentrates on his research.
4m38s: Mskel in Z1c11 defeated.
The remains of this one seem rather white and shiny. It's titanium! This enemy had titanium bones! He'll store them away. They'll be useful someday, I'm sure.
5m52s: Dagger I in Z1c20.
Where are these data cards coming from? The human wonders as he loads this one into his pad, It's for a weapon it calls a dagger. He blinks. I don't know what a dagger is. I'll take your word for it, data card. Needs metal. He has gathered some, but ore is plentiful. He can just dig and smelt it whenever he wants. For now, I'll continue researching.
6m18s: Arable in Z1c21.
It's an old cave that trimps like to live in. Why weren't they able to live there before? How could these friendly critters be confined to only the exact spot where THAT thing, he looks back where he came from, not remembering that he piloted the wrecked ship to its current resting place, crashed? This is really strange. I'll let them fill up this cave before advancing further. Wait, what about defenses? The hostiles never try to reclaim territory that they've lost, so he stops worrying about that fairly quickly.
8m22s: First hut is 0.3% first ever AP.
The trimps seem fairly easy to please in terms of living quarters. Two move into his first hut and start raising a child. The human has his tent, uniform, and the heater pilfered from his space suit. Not much of a mud fan.
9m59s: Miners in Z1c30.
Oh, what's on this data card? Sl3niw? Oh, I'm holding the pad upside down. Miners. I can teach trimps how to mine ores and smelt met- 200 units of food? Each job is getting more expensive to train a trimp for. He puts his bee nickels to his eyes and spots another data card probably 10 enemies away. "Sc"? Does that means science? I can teach trimps to do science??
13m57s: Scientists in Z1c40.
Due to the expense of training trimps, the human couldn't afford to build them shields until now, he's got Sh1-3 made for the fighter to capture the science training data card. 14m02s: One head went into that turtlimp shell, that of his fighter, but two came out: his fighter still has his head on, and he managed to get the turtlimp's head off. It rushes off after the deadly penguimp in the next cell. The shields are not doing all that much good, actually, but they're better than nothing. The human picks up and loads the science data card and- Holy runny sugar-free fudge crap! 1000 food units, but it'll endow them with the ability to speak. Good. I'm getting bored with no one to talk to.
14m28s: Bloodlust purchased and AutoFight enabled (that delay after getting it is an effect of jacking up the job cost.)
As the human buries this expired little trimp warrior, he comes to the sobering realization that he has more trimp graves in his growing trimp colony than he does live trimps. And yet they seem more hopeful now than before I got to know any of them. They seem to think I'm the solution to all their problems or- Those two look east somberly, then notice that he's watching them and smile back and wave at him. ...one problem that is specific, but very, very huge for them. [The only reason I say 'east' is because that's right on a map, and the game advances right across a row, then up. I might say 'northeast' on occasion for that reason.]
20m47s: Z1c73, Miners taken.
Are you my new mining foreman? The trimp who took to the mining training has dark brown fur that lays flat on its head. It's unusual in not having any bits that stick out from its head, ahoge or whatever. This one is relatively quiet, and while it has assimilated the mining and smelting knowledge, it needs to bulk up to do any mining. Smelting is relatively easy, and getting a strong natural draft going in a furnace is almost trivial with the increased gravity. This trimp builds furnaces like nothing. And likes to nap in holes it digs right on the spot; it's weird that way. [Puchim@s Yukipo, and furnaces are not explicit in Trimps.]
21m58s: Farming in Z1c80.
The resourcing "books" are not data cards but paper scrolls, apparently lost to the trimps. It seems that they were civilized in the recent past and some calamity swept over the planet to reduce them to this. Did I have something to do with it? Amnesia sucks harder than a Dyson- ...what's a Dyson? Whatever, it sucks. This disaster happening just before I crash in the only spot with trimps still alive would be a seriously crazy coincidence! Something is really, really wrong about all this. [The author has not sought or received product placement permission or fee from Dyson Technology Ltd. or any resellers of their stuff, just they literally suck balls and made my favorite vacuum cleaner.]
23m50s: Builder in Z1c90.
They've rescued an, I dunno, gelding trimp? It just started to build a shed around the piled lumber I left to build one. It's really slow compared to me, and just banged its thumb, but it is super cute with that long reddish head fur. That particular trimp is also fascinated with pink ribbons and likes to decorate its head fur with them. Because of its inherent inability to participate in rearing children, it isn't counted in the population. [Puchim@s Io, builder on the basis of Iori seen building in 1x10.]
26m02s: Zone 2, 44 pop, 5.5s RC with Z0/1.
It's some sort of tactical manual - tactical coordination. Coordination! He's starting to sort out some trimpese on the research he has done so far. It needs a lot of metal, so they won't be able to implement it for some time. Hopefully, they're still good one at a time, but these enemies seem to be getting bigger as we go along. Uh oh!
27m33s: Gym in Z2c5.
It's some sort of training dojo or sporting arena. The human examines the ruins, I think I can back-engineer drawings for this, get one built, and see what happens.
29m02s: 1g, 47 pop, 10.8s RC with Z1/2.
The two fighting trimps now with their gym and coordination are dodging and blocking enthusiastically, and making much faster ground against the bad guys then a little while ago when it was just one trimp fighting at a time and unable to avoid the enemy hitting back.
40m46s: Fresh turkimp in Z2c74, 63 pop, 7.9s RC, Sh1-10, Da1-5, Bo1-3, Ma1-3, Hm1-3, 6g.
Oh, wow, the laborers seem really hot after this turkimp. He cooks it up and tries a slice. It's really awesome! I have to work alongside his laboring trimps to share it, but I'm getting used to the gravity now. That scroll we found back in Z2c10 really helped. Trimps' techniques and appliances for handicapped individuals, and I'm really handicapped in this higher gravity. He joins the woodcutters with the turkimp; they're the most numerous resource laborer right now, building more gyms, enough that the block/dodge ability of the fighting trimps is almost caught up to the enemy's ability to cause damage.
43m15s: Zone 3, 63 pop, 7.9s RC with Z1/2.
I'm neglecting my science and trimp scientists are really expensive. Curiously, that grey-haired one can't speak all that well, only says "Tai" and "Shijou", but it can write and draw like nobody's business. It's the only scientist so far. [Puchim@s Takanya: Online references probably still claim that she can utter the first two syllables of any word, but she can actually utter only the first two kana syllables of someone's name, most often the given name of basis human Takane Shijou, who also has that habit. (All the utterances of the puchidoru are based on the speech foibles of their basis humans except maybe Piyopiyo, where I haven't seen anything match up so far.)]
47m32s: Finally, we can make drywall and houses. 59m30s: Z3c77, 94 pop, 7.8s RC.
Oh, those poor things are really struggling up at the front. These trimps are enthusiastic and know no fear, but I still feel like telling them to stop for a while. I don't have the heart to keep them from trying while they're still doing some damage.
1h05m24s: Zone 4, 107 pop, 9.3s RC with Z3/4. 1h15m26s: Zone 5, 120 pop, 8.2s RC with Z3/4.
"What is that?" the human asks. He has three scientists. His first does all the writing, but the other two can actually speak. One of them hops up on a rock spire beside the human to reach his eye level.
At the next ridge line, over the lowest and most passable gap in the terrain, this really mean looking hovering sausage monster.
"I dunno," the scientist trimp shrugs, "But it's making me hungry. Looks like a perfectly cooked frankfurter from here." [John Morell's dubious dirigibles.]
"Oh, yeah," the human nods, "that's a blimp."
"A blimp?" the trimp tilts its head quizzically at the human, "How could you know?"
"I wish I could tell you, little buddy," the human extends his arm braces to descend the pass on the side of the zone boundary in the boss enemy's direction, then grunts, "Let's go kill it."
1h16m11s: Z1c9, 120 pop, 10.3s RC with Z4/5. 1h33m34s: Zone 6, 151 pop, 7.4s RC with Z4/5.
1h33m54s: TP in Z1c3.
"What's this?" the human asks, having picked up the little square document with the curling corners.
"Oh," the hungry scientist looks at it, "It's a garden path, follow me."
"You want to lead me down the garden path?" the human says.
"Yeah," the scientist says.
"Are you kidding?" the human asks.
"No," says the other scientist, "We don't get human humor. Listen, these fighters can't go, let them wear themselves out here, then we'll take the next group through this garden."
"Okay," the human nods, watching two more trimps join the fray as he issues the Z5 coordination orders, "they're doing pretty well after all that block training research we just wrapped up." [That's a common artifact, even in normal games, Z5 Traintacular combines with many gyms, enough population to add several trainers, affording Blockmaster, which is expensive on a run zero, plus a break on Tion Z5, a 40% all-stat increase. I don't think Zach designed it into the game on purpose, it just worked out this way.]
1h34m07s: 151 pop, 10.5s RC with Z5/7. 1h37m44s: Drop from Z6c39, TP for 3.
"Now we have these access map frags we can use to route through the old trimpopoli," the scientist explains, "Atlimpis for food, Morimpa for gems, Everimp for metal, and Impazon for wood."
"What about the garden?" the human asks.
"Well, we got lucky with Tricky Paradise," the scientist says, "but you can randomize the route and maybe get lucky. What's with that look?"
"Somehow, I'm remembering 'frag' as something that blew up with deadly pieces," the human says. [Different video games - ones with better graphics and worse gameplay Ｏ(>▽<)Ｏ]
1h39m59s: Blues back up to the top on series I...
"Tai, Tai!" the first ever trimp scientist stops the human just before he upgrades the mace and dagger to Mk.6 and Mk. 8 respectively. It has a note for him.
"Why do you keep calling me that?" the human asks, "Do you think that's my name?"
"Shijou, Shijou," it nods as though to indicate, I KNOW it is. Then it proffers its note again. The human takes it and reads, "Don't upgrade the first row equipment right now."
"Why not?" the human asks.
"Shijou," it points at the end of the mapped route, where there's a scroll sticking out of the thistles.
2h24m07s: Zone 8, 224 pop, 12.2s RC with Z7/12.
"Your settlement is getting crowded, there's Trimps in the streets, and you're taking heat. You feel a sudden strong desire to create a map, though you're not quite sure how that would help."
2h49m10s: Zone 9, 357 pop, 9.5s RC with Z8/15.
"You can't shake the feeling that you've been here before. Déjà-vu?"
The trimps really seem to like the new high capacity mansions, and the village has rapidly expanded since they started building them.
"There's something familiar about this," the human says.
"Tai," the grey one that writes clings to his arm and shows him a note that says, "Don't give up now."
"We must persist," says the yellow one has found a foothold it can grab onto and grabs the human's shoulder gently, "If you give up to early, we'll never solve this. You'll be stuck here forever."
The human puts his hand over the trimp's paw on his shoulders, then looks at him, "I can die, too."
"No, you can't," the trimp says quietly, "Please don't test that, tall one."
"Death is just another path..." he remembers.
"Gan," the grey one squeaks. [That's the first two kana syllables of "Gandalf"]
"...one that we all must take," the human continues, "The grey rain-curtain of this world rolls back, and all turns to silver glass, and then you see it-"
"A green mist," the yellow trimp interrupts, "flash of fire, we're all gone and our progress forgotten. The wandering stars return to that day, and you again crash that ship- ...a little better every time."
"Wait," the human looks around, "have I been here before?"
"I-" the yellow trimp tries in futility to share what little it knows, "...or... somebody got just a little coolant into the-"
"Into the what?"
"This side up," the grey one's note says.
"Into the that," the yellow one points at the note, "It really helped. You- ...I don't think we've ever had mansions before."
Well, of course they didn't have mansions before. That was one of my ship's data cards. How did it get way out here? Will anything start to make sense?
3h02m13s: Zone 10, 387 pop, 8.7s RC with Z8/15; '28s: 11.1s RC with Z9/19. 3h16m41s: Tough snimp after food book, L10 rand dept from lo-hi-med 118/25/96, 4 Items.
"That's twice our frags led us to gem-rich Moria," the human says.
"Morimpa," the new red trimp scientist corrects, there now being 5 scientists. [There'd be more if there were more turkimp.]
"The question is how do we use all these gems?" the human looks at the village zoning plans again, "I like those mansions and all, but they use hardly any gems compared to, well-" he gestures at the pile of over two dozen thousand gems they've gathered, "-that! And still a lot of wood and lumber."
"I think there's something," the yellow one sighs, "I wish I knew more."
Quite some time later, after they're done looting that route for equipment plans, the trimps are again advancing through Zone 10, and he hears it.
"Tai?" the grey one wonders.
"Where are you going?" the yellow one asks.
"To the farm," the human answers.
"Whatever for?" the red one seems exasperated.
"Shijou?" the grey one sighs, then looks at the fighting front. It's been around long enough to remember, "Shijou!"
"You guys already get so much to eat this doesn't do you much good," the human explains.
3h32m33s: L11 112/35/78 rand sea, dropped from Z11c6 with disband, 4.
"What's wrong?" the red one asks.
The human comforts one of the wounded. Once trimps start into a zone fight, they have to finish before they bleed out. He's really bothered making them desert in front of that second turkimp. "They had a lot left in them," he sighs, rubbing his eyes, "but we can't keep that much dead turkimp at once, we have to leave it alive to use up all of this one."
"Shijou," the grey one presents a note, "We need this map right away, anyway. Don't worry about it, Tightniks."
"Tightniks?" he looks at the grey one, "Is that me? How do you know?"
"Tai," the grey one points at the top of the human's left breast pocket.
"Ah, crud," the yellow one curls its tail around in front of itself as trimps do when they're embarrassed, "Is that really a name tag?"
The human hadn't even noticed it since the green flash blew up his memory as he was stepping out of the ship.
4h04m22s: Block (sub-8h AP is only 0.3%), taking it, 504 pop, 9.8s RC with Z10/24.
It's a pretty thick book about using shields for block instead of hit points. The pad has the stats analysis. Sh3-1 is only giving us 9% of our hit points. Turning to his trimp scientists, he says, "It seems to me to be worth it."
"Let's," the yellow one nods.
"Shijou," it hands him a note, "It scales badly, but that won't matter for a long time. I think there's a way to undo it before it matters."
"Doing it." The human takes out his pad and starts scanning.
4h29m05s: L14 rand moun 137/26/80 is really good for a lo-hi-med. 4h30m52s: Hotels.
"Ah," the yellow one says, "I knew there was something. That must be it."
5h08m09s: L15 lo-hi-hi rand gard 129/28/82 (just got explorers). 5h09m32s: Picked up Wall.
"Dam," the human says.
"Damn?" the red one chuckles.
"No," the human says, "Earthen wall dam; it's a thing that makes artificial lakes by holding rivers back."
"Lakes?" the yellow one asks, "Rivers?"
"Oh yeah," the human says, "This planet doesn't have enough rain for those..."
5h48m21: Leaving Wall from about c70 to fetch Tion Z15.
"You can't resume the map from the same point if you start another," the human reads the grey one's note.
"We can go back to the same point on that route if we hold there and finish Zone 15, right?" Tightniks asks.
"Shijou!" it seems to be saying yes.
"Yes," the yellow one adds, "but we're out of Series III upgrades, and you need a fresh map route to start up Series IV."
"We should be okay," Tightniks says, "but if we have to start it over, I don't see that being a big deal." As they advance through the rest of Zone 15, Tightniks resumes his usual duties at the research desk instead building and running traps like he was before.
The trimps seem hopeful at this decision.
5h49m10s: Fresh turkimp. 5h50m16s: Zone 16, 1071 pop, 13.4s RC with Z15/75, 13m43s turkimp (skel in c1.)
"Z:16 Seriously? Another Blimp so soon?"
"So," Tightniks lowers his bee nickels and looks at the red one, "is it going to be boss fights at the end of every zone from now on?"
"Hmm," the red trimp looks up past the human at some random rock spire or cloud.
"Well?" the human persists.
"Yup," he says.
"Hmph," Tightniks grabs a Sw3-1 of the rack and advances towards the front, "Before then, we have another Mister Titanium."
"What does he like about skeletimps?" the red one asks the grey one as the human marches off.
"Shijou?" the grey one seems just as confused by that.
"He's not going back to the ship, and he's not getting himself killed," the yellow one smiles, "so I'll take it."
5h58m32s...
"Hey guys, go for the mortar!" the human suggests to his 75 fighting trimps in the Wall's boss fight.
"I can tell from your bedtime stories that you're used to the artillery in that other place," the yellow one gripes, "but fighting works differently here, there's no artillery."
And the human instantly collapses laughing, the scientists a little worried he might have injured himself in the planet's severe gravity. But he's okay, at least physically, "Mortar is the stuff between the bricks, fellas. That's is a brickimp, right?"
5h59m18s: Wall, 1076 pop, 13.3s RC, 1% AP for sub-8h finish, first L16 roll good 156/35/84 moun, 10 for the metal.
Beyond the Wall was a more edenic section of the trimpolis ruins, doubling the production of the lumberjacks. The trimps are actually really happy with the mode of all of the laborers moving between the three big jobs, along with the turkimp, except for the foremen specialized at leading the job. It isn't enough to boost their productivity, but the human goes to them with trays of sandwiches.
6h06m52s: 50 map run 0.3% AP...
6h19m13s: Zone 17, 1141 pop, 16.0s RC with Z16/94, no turkimp.
"Z:17 You climb a large cliff and look out over the new Zone. Red dirt, scorched ground, and devastation. Is that a Dragimp flying around out there?!"
"Hmm," the human surveys the new zone with his bee nickels, "Looks like crap. Any ideas?"
"You're the idea man," the yellow one groans.
"Set the map flag," he puts his bee nickels away, "We'll run a depth for practice and to load up on gems for more hotels."
"Righto," the red one gets to work.
6h44m34s: First DCP. (Draglimp Care Package; I refuse to call it a tribute.)
"Oh," the human says, "It's tame now, so it brings back gems in exchange for food?" He looks at his gaping scientists, "That's what it looks like, huh? Guys? Yo!"
"Tai..." the grey one sighs.
Draglimp, the dragimp imprinted on Tightniks, lands beside the human, drops some gems at his feet, and accepts some scratching behind its horns before diving into the food bowl.
"You tamed a dragimp???" Grey's note says.
"Well," the yellow one huffs, "I guess that happened."
8h18m53s: L20 depth of 154/27/79.
"Mapping up here?" the red one half closes one eye and tilts his head.
"Yeah," the human says while fitting together the depth map fragments, "With the coordination book not right at the end, we have an extra mark of coordination to take advantage of. Let's take our housing up to 2000 or so, shall we?"
"Okay," the yellow one says from a pile of logs, "What's all the wood for?" They had been collecting it for days now.
"The series upgrades follow a rather specific pattern," Tightniks explains, "Just on the other side of this blimp is Zone 21, where we should be able to find the Shield series V, right?"
"Shijou!" the grey one nods.
8h56m17s: 1% AP for 100 map runs, leaving it, 1751 pop, 24.8s RC with Z20/232. 8h56m54s: Zone 21...
"Ooooookay," Tightniks growls, "There is something off about this thing."
"Shijou?" the grey one looks at the yellow one with concern about their human starship pilot friend.
The human stoops, picks up the little green gem on the ridge between Zone 20 and 21, looks at it, huffs, and asks, "Any idea where this comes from?"
"Err..." the red one seems hesitant to say, "I think you made it."
"Really?" the human huffs, "How could that be?" Then he tosses it at Red, "See if anything reacts to it. It might be radioactive, so we should take turns to minimize exposure."
"Really?" Red's holding it now, "What makes you say that?"
"Because I'm pissed off for no reason I can figure out," the human says, "I think it's coming from that."
"Frags," the red one says quickly, "I think it's arranging a route. You're good with maps," it tosses the gem to the grey scientist.
"Shijou," the grey one says hopefully, and has a map drawn within a few minutes. [Whether it looks like the one in Puchim@s 1x61 is anyone's guess. That one annoyed me as well as Chihya.]
9h02m37s: L21 moun first roll was a decent 160/26/84. 9h21m00s: Starting run 5 of that map...
Tightniks had taken his anger out on some food and wood to build about 8000 traps. Now he's leaning against a rock spire in his increasingly tattered uniform. A nap begins, perhaps unintentionally.
Wild trimps are examining the pile, finding it unwelcoming, and also finding no place in the town, just mill about. It looks like they want to help.
"Ku?" it's a blue trimp, probably a farmer waiting for stuff to grow, climbs up on the rock spire the human is leaning against, starts patting him on the head, "Ku. Ku ku." [Puchim@s Chihya.]
9h23m09s: Still working that lap...
Tightniks wakes up from that nap, and the grey one is standing there. "Shijou," it says with a note of concern, although not much of one. The note it holds says, "It wasn't me."
"Oh, what wasn't you, buddy?" He stretches out a bit, feeling somewhat refreshed. It feels like somebody washed his face and hair while he was sleeping.
The grey one is also holding a small mirror, apparently broken off from a larger mirror and with the sharp edges filed down to make the edges safe.
The human takes it from the grey trimp and holds it in front of his face to discover that somebody has bound up all his hair into about twenty little pigtails. He touches them with his other hand to confirm. "Eh, whatever." He hands the mirror back and goes back to sleep. [Puchim@s Koamimami.]
9h30m08s: The following run...
"He's not throwing stuff every which way yet," the yellow one whispers to the red one, watching the human snoozing with his pad on his knee.
"You remember that, too?" the red one asks.
"'Remember'?" the yellow one turns to face the red one, "I s'pose that's better than imagining it."
"I remember it, too," the grey one says via a playing card sized note.
"If we're stuck in a time loop," the yellow one sighs, "maybe this cycle will be different."
"Tai..." the grey one admires him for a moment. Then thumbs in the direction of the mountain, "Heh, Shijou!" it laughs.
9h35m58s: Run 8, c9 of that map.
The scientists nap and take notes, and meditate and take notes, and draw stuff. The grey one often storyboards for the other nine because it's the best at drawing stuff. They have come up with a list, and most probably "order" (they're debating whether their ranking means "order" (sequence of things happening over the various loops) or "frequency" (what proportion of previous loops they have happened in). But they've come up with this, from first (or perhaps most often) to most recent (or perhaps least often):
- The ship crashes (they're pretty sure that happens every loop) - The human builds huts - The human teaches some of his trimps to speak and do science - The human builds houses - The human makes maps - The human builds mansions - The human blows up and gets himself killed somewhere around Z17 to Z21, often on a dragimp - The human only recently/occasionally builds hotels - The human only recently/rarely tamed a dragimp - The human only recently/rarely maps the Dimension of Anger
They're all agreed that that they have never finished the Dimension of Anger. What they are not all agreed on is that they've never done this conference to figure out whether they're in a time loop or what that might mean. [See also Star Trek: The Next Generation episode "Cause and Effect" ...which was sort of a time loop but they weren't going back in time. It's very interesting, but its meta makes no sense - no one ever went looking for the Bozeman in 80 years? No one who went looking for the Bozeman also got stuck? No one noticed the passage of time outside the little area of space where the not-quite-a-time-loop was happening? Errr... sci-fi writers, don't be half-assed about your time loops, lmao! Be like Harold Ramis- ...what am I saying?? (That would be Groundhog Day, which grafted a time loop into a romcom; there are no other sci-fi elements. But it was a full-blown time loop and not half-assed like "Cause and Effect".)]
9h54m06s: Dropped from Z21c95...
I think it would be a bad idea to bypass that green area, as much as I'd rather not face it. Both his domesticated trimps, which are breeding up a new group of fighters, and the wild trimps he has decided just now not to open the traps for, stare at him and point in that direction. He shoulders a huge Shield V-3 and grabs an Mace IV-2 as well and announces, "We're doing it." Thus equipped, he marches off into the Dimension of Anger.
10h27m53s: Taking Pi4-2; recently had taken Pa4-2...
The group at the front had expired, and the snimp in DoAc95 glares at the advancing colony of trimps, which had halted only because of it. It refuses to counterattack the vulnerable colony and its human, instead snorting and huffing, waiting for the next bunch of 232 fighting trimps to come in range.
Tightniks runs along the line of traps, releasing the recently tamed trimps, singing a song that he doesn't remember the meaning of, that he doesn't remember was crafted by an ethnically Chinese guy out of an African language, and later mastered by two caucasians over the internet before they ever met in person. "Baba yetu yetu uliye, mbinguni yetu yetu amina..." because it just happened to be stuck in his head. [Because the Doylian author decided on a whim to. Christopher Tin got it into Civilization IV and at the time (2010 July), I made the best video for it on YouTube, which got subsequently blown to shreds when Peter Hollens and Malukah re-recorded the song from scratch in their own voices and instruments in 2014, pity with no English translation, the purpose of my video.]
Noticing the last batch of metal he needs coming out of the furnace, he waves the waiting grey scientist to fire up the forge [to use the term properly and not as the game does], for it was time to wrap up the forging dies for the Spetum IV, Mark 2 pike heads.
"Shijou!" the grey one cheers, setting aside a snack that looks like maybe ramen, and starts jumping up and down on the bellows handle.
It takes a while for the human to chip out the tip in the two halves of the forging die, and then polish it, and then heat it up in the forge, and then quench it, inspect it, and put it into service crafting thousands of new pike heads for the fighting trimps.
But only one second passed on the map frame clock (10h27m54s) four cells behind that snimp, in the case being brooded over by this huge, and if it's honest, rather concerned megablimp.
10h35m45: Portal PB, 45 He, 4.247 He/hr, 1891 pop, 22.7s RC with Z20/232, no turkimp.
The last head of the map's boss monster goes limp as one of the fighting trimps' mace heads bounces of it, and the huge thing settles on its tail, resting on the package that seems to be the prize of this map. And there's a popping sound, and then something mechanical.
Is that a scroll compressor? Tightniks looks at the package. The deflating monster's lifting envelope material drapes over everything underneath it. "Red, Shijou!" he snaps and points, "roll up that side of it. Keep this part from sucking down on the extractor nozzle!"
All ten of the scientists jump in, literally, pushing the gas in the bag towards the compressor. Tightniks as well, rolling up the front.
Until he kicks, and nearly trips over, a smaller package that might be the explanation for the reason why the center of the monster's defense seemed to be a little away from the big package he could see. It's in the right place, he realizes. He gets it uncovered and reads stenciled-and-sprayed block letters on it:
"DT TIME PORTAL / THIS SIDE DOWN"
Perhaps the Dimension of Anger is so named because of the rage suddenly rising up in Tightniks' throat. It isn't so much as the free-floating aggression suddenly has an answer, there is definitely a fresh batch of rage and anger as he grips the nearest Mace IV, Mark 3 with both hands and gets it over his shoulder, its target obviously this object, anger at the realization he screams at the top of his lungs, "We are stuck in a mutha FAH-king time loop!!" His swing begins. [Tightniks almost never cusses, unlike Snugniks.]

There’s two types of customers.
One side are the chill ones who are rlly nice and the other ones are the ones who treat you like crap. They be showing attitude, throwing cash on the counter, and so much other stuff. It’s annoying how we as cashiers can’t say anything back to them and are expected to be nice.
recently I’m putting a customers items in a bag and In a rude way he’s like “don’t break it” like wtf do you think ima do to it? ATP I should just throw it and him
Another time a lady keeps ignoring me When I mention the price and she doesn’t pay. I’m like oh it’s 70$ she says nothing and does nothing. She hands me a $20 and I’m like um it’s 70 she’s like I know. In my head I’m like wtf. Then I’m like mam the total is 70 and you handed 20. You still need 50 more. Then she yells and is like ima pay the rest with my card!! She could’ve simply said that before and i would’ve known but nope. Ignore the cashier multiple times and then act rude. And I’m sure English is her main language since when she yelled at me she spoke perfect English and magically started to hear me.
So much more has happened to but it’s just annoying remembering those times.
Like whenever I shop somewhere I always treat workers with respect. Made a mistake? No worries. Incorrect change? No worries. At long as they help fix the issue it’s all good! But I guess some people In this world lack decent empathy

My Vyvanse works great, absolutely. At one point I was on five psychiatric meds, and now I am down to just this one. I've made a lot of progress.
But the thing is, I feel like at some point I should reach some level where I don't need it. I frankly have all the success I could possibly want at this point in my life and lots of great management skills. However, I can still feel in the morning when I don't take it, I am very unproductive and lazy and hungry on days I don't take it, etc.
I get that, well, I have a disorder, but isn't the point of these medications supposed to be that they are short term, get you back on your feet, and eventually you just don't need them anymore? That's what happened with every other psychiatric medication that I took, but it feels like not this one. The shortage is frustrating, the process for maintaining a prescription for a controlled substance is annoying, and I want to be able to get pregnant one day.
My psychiatrist really doesn't give me a lot of actual ADHD advice, and I don't expect her to. I mean, my medication works and does its job and I'm not really addicted because there are days I forget, so as far as she is concerned, I'm doing just fine. She would call me crazy for wanting to come off it. And I know my dosage is right, because any lower and I have massive cravings and it does not last the whole day.
But I am wondering what y'all have experienced. How did you eventually not need this medication? What does the process of getting there even look like? How can I just one day get to the point of not needing Vyvanse like I did with antidepressants or other psychiatric meds? I've been on Vyvanse almost 2 years with no change and that would be the longest I have been on a psychiatric medication with no improvements.

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Synopsis:
Juliette Contzen is a lazy, good-for-nothing princess. Overshadowed by her siblings, she's left with little to do but nap, read … and occasionally cut the falling raindrops with her sword. Spotted one day by an astonished adventurer, he insists on grading Juliette's swordsmanship, then promptly has a mental breakdown at the result.
Soon after, Juliette is given the news that her kingdom is on the brink of bankruptcy. At threat of being married off, the lazy princess vows to do whatever it takes to maintain her current lifestyle, and taking matters into her own hands, escapes in the middle of the night in order to restore her kingdom's finances.
Tags: Comedy, Adventure, Action, Fantasy, Copious Ohohohohos.
Chapter 239: Standing Start
A wine bottle rolled against the side of my boot.
Amidst a gallery of stunned faces and open mouths, it was easily the second most lively thing here.
The first was a clockwork doll clutching at her stomach in pain.
“Ahahahha~ ahahaha~ ahah … uck … ack … ughh … ahahaha~”
I pursed my lips.
Still, I said nothing.
For one thing, this was precisely what happened when one ate the mouldy cinnamon rolls combined with any grass growing by the side of the road. If Apple refused to eat something, then so should she.
But for another–
“What … What is this … ?”
It was because the first response was reserved for the baroness.
Her words came out in a quivering tone, matching the disbelief upon her face.
Frankly, she had to do better than that.
Only the wine from the bottle I nudged away dribbled into the soil. And also the line of drool from a comatose farmer. But I didn’t want to think about that.
Still, it was an excellent benchmark. Until her tears could properly overpower the sour aroma from the Château de Riaré Hensoise, I would deem her bawling to be incomplete.
She had a long way to go.
“How … How are you still …” she began, slowly rising from her seat. “This … This is impossible–”
I offered a tidy smile alongside a flick of my hair, relishing in the moonlight adorning my figure.
“I agree. It shouldn’t be possible. But I assure you, my skin is 100% natural.”
“E-Excuse me … ?”
“No magical enchantments. No unicorn elixirs. No witchly glamors. Just a healthy sleep schedule of however many hours I desire and a diet of fresh strawberry shortcakes.”
The baroness mouthed silently at my secrets being revealed.
A strange way of offering her gratitude. Other princesses hounded my door for this knowledge. Given her pale, blotchy skin and lips as dry as a pond in a desert, she should be pleading for more.
Instead, she pointed at the fallen drunk beside us.
“This … This shouldn’t be possible … no, wait … the clockwork doll … did she–”
She suddenly snapped towards Coppelia, her eyes widening.
“Uuh … ahaha … ugh, it hurts ... ahaha … it hurts so much … ahaha … my tummy … aha … oh no … I’m … I’m seeing daisies … aha … I … ugh … I think I need help …”
Coppelia hugged her stomach, writhing like a freshly hatched caterpillar. Her eyes darkened as hiccups of laughter assailed her defeated form.
The baroness pursed her lips.
Then, she turned to Renise instead.
“Did you–”
“A-Amazing! … I … I have no idea what you did … but it wasn’t just wonderful … it was beautiful! The colours! The warmth! It was like a rainbow come to life!”
With a smile worthy of any attendant, the maid brought her hands together in polite applause. Naturally, to be praised for my brushwork was nothing new to me. Nor was the sight of stars shining in her eyes with greater brightness than any in the night sky.
Why, that even came whenever I left my bedroom.
“You … how did … how did you defeat him … ?”
The strands of the baroness’s golden hair began to frizzle as she turned towards me. All I saw were her tonsils. Bright red and healthy. She should be pleased.
“This was … this was no common man … do you know who he is … ?”
Without offering a chance to ignore her, she stamped a foot, pointing at the fallen drunk with maddened jabs. The man offered no defence, now as spent and drained as the bottle beside him.
I raised a brow.
“Indeed, I do. He’s a farmer who made poor life choices. And between leaving his farm and offering his pitchfork to an overly ambitious baroness, the greater was you. My congratulations on being the superior mistake. I acknowledge your triumph.”
Bwam.
The baroness promptly slapped her palms down on the table.
“This man … is Willem of Hagel,” she said, her teeth gritted together. “A man desperate and cursed.”
“Yes, well, to be a peasant is a dire thing. But it could be worse. At least he isn’t nobility.”
A mouth further widened before me.
Indeed, this was a terrible time to realise her affliction. But I was no famed angel of healing for nothing. There was a cure for ambition. And it involved copious amounts of tears.
I was still waiting.
“There is no world in which you should have been able to defeat him … not if half the tales about him prove true … he is a famed opponent … all the while you are … you are …”
Suddenly, her eyes left my face for the very first time.
No longer feeling that my cheeks were in danger of being poked, she swept her eyes upon my person, as though hoping to find some blemish to signify I was as false as a field of corn.
She stopped at the sword by my side.
And also–
“A copper ring,” she said softly.
Suddenly, my 29th house of cards I was subtly constructing collapsed.
… T-The ring!
The blot on my finger! The insidious badge of shame! The symbol of the Adventurer’s Guild!
Why, I’d taken it for granted that my masterful disguise was impervious! But this was no ordinary noblewoman I was seated across!
This … This was one I’d previously sat across before!
I’d made a terrible mistake!
I was mesmerising! A beautiful princess as charming as I was modest!
There was utterly no scenario in which I’d be forgotten!
I … I should have removed the copper ring!
“O-Oho … ohoho … w-what copper ring?” I said, my hands vanishing below the table at a speed con artists could only nod at. “Ah, do you refer to the ruby inlaid ring I often carry on my hand? The one which changes colour depending on the longitude and latitude? In that case, you may very well have briefly spied something which resembled a copper hue. But it is in fact a thing of unparalleled beauty and craftsmanship. Not a disgraceful copper ring.”
The baroness slowly looked up at me, her eyes blinking.
“No. I wasn’t mistaken. I … I recognise that ring. It is a copper ring, the same size and shape as those worn by … adventurers.”
My mouth widened in horror.
At once, I immediately sought a plant pot or a heavy book. Something to immediately erase the past few seconds of her memory.
Why … if she knew my secret, then the shame would haunt me all the way until I’d found something weighing at least equivalent to a standard hardback!
“I see,” she mumbled, as much to herself as me. “I understand now …”
The baroness removed her palms from the table.
She stood up straight, a hard expression upon her face. One which calculated with each passing moment the optimal way to exploit this devastating information.
Then, she took in a deep breath–just as I began assembling the playing cards into a thick pile.
“… it must be a legendary artifact.”
As I began eyeing her temple … I blinked in non-understanding.
“Excuse me?”
She nodded, her frown harsh enough to permanently crease her skin.
“To wear such a plain, ugly and shameful ring … one which utterly demeans your history, your worth and your pride, destroying any semblance of dignity you possess–”
My hand went to my stomach, struck by as much pain as Coppelia had experienced in a single moment.
“–indeed, to wear a ring so easily mistaken as one belonging to adventurers, the vermin of the world … it must be a truly terrifying artifact.”
I blinked.
And then–
“Ohhho … ohoohho! You … You see the truth of it!”
The baroness squeezed her fists by her side.
“I knew it.”
I nodded, my bangs bouncing against my forehead.
“I-Indeed … ! This ring I carry on me … it is a masterful item of supreme quality, passed down along generations of my family! Why, its appearance matching those of rings worn by adventurers is no coincidence! Theirs are based on this very design! Although they have since tarnished it, it was forged back in the first days of the kingdom when copper was greater than gold! Poured within it is knowledge now lost to time! A power beyond compare, called upon from the depths of the Royal Vault!”
The baroness sucked in a hateful breath.
“Then that explains it,” she said with bitterness ringing throughout her voice. “You were able to defeat such a powerful adversary through the use of your family’s ancient heirlooms.”
“Indeed, this powerful ring with a rare ability I cannot disclose defeated a terrifying farmer! Therefore, there’s no need for you to relay any suggestion that I’m anything but a princess, as far removed from the Adventurer’s Guild as hygiene is to their members!”
The baroness gave no response.
A respite which lasted far too short.
“... I see, then it means the plan continues. Different, yes. But I’ll not be deterred.”
She smiled, the familiar sight of aristocratic opportunism mixed with an utter denial of facts shining within her grey eyes.
I could only react with horror.
“Plan?” I replied, convinced she was well and truly several sandwiches short of a picnic. “Do you mean the plan currently lying in a fallen heap beside us? Did you not just say I defeated your farmer? Your only plan now is to decide which part of the ground you wish to offer your forehead to.”
The baroness shook her head with renewed confidence.
“I think not. To defeat Willem of Hagel, you must have expended every effort you had available. Not a crumb of power could be spared, for to underestimate him would have resulted in your certain loss. Meaning …”
Without hesitation, she gave a multipurpose wave of her hand.
“... You’ve nothing left but a sword you cannot wield, and two retainers against all of mine. One of whom is incapacitated. The other a maid.”
She continued to keep her hand raised. Her simple call to arms.
It took several moments before she cared to even look around her.
A sad thing.
If she had, she would have realised the curiosity of her hoodlums was less than their prudence.
She would have noticed the eyes without loyalty, seeing only the fallen figure of a drunk they’d been led to believe was more than a farmer now watering the ground with his drool.
And she would have noticed the state of her dress, as dishevelled as her ambitions as those she relied upon slinked away in search of newer gutters to inhabit, following instincts she could learn as the last of their feet shuffled into the darkness.
The baroness paled.
It was far too early for that. She had no idea Apple was currently resting in her tavern, and wouldn’t be helping her haul all of the goods which needed delivering to a place less damp than here.
But I could sooth her forthcoming backache with a smile, at least for the assistance already provided.
“You have my gratitude,” I said, brushing a speck of … countryside from my lap. “For so long as the nobility continues to concoct slapdash schemes with no hope of success, the kingdom can continue to assign blame on you when all else goes wrong. When the mobs come calling and heads start rolling, it ensures a steady queue of necks can be offered before ours are reached. That is why the nobility continues to exist, you see, despite the ceaseless treason. So allow me to offer a word of advice when next you wish to survive in a position of responsibility. When fleeing, the best defence isn’t to run faster–it’s to trip the person beside you. And this means better hiring practices.”
I glanced pointedly around me.
All this empty space and not even a single eyepatched second-in-command to use as a distraction? An amateur mistake. One the baroness now realised as her mouth opened wordlessly, the realisation of her solitude only now dawning upon her.
Yet all it invited was a newly wrought defiance.
“I do not mean to flee,” she said, her fists tightly clenched. “I am Arisa Sandholt. And even should I be captured here, you would not be afforded a night’s rest. I am not alone. Whether tonight or tomorrow, this kingdom will fall. I am not alone in planning its demise.”
I rolled my eyes.
“Oh, please. Planning my kingdom’s demise is what everyone does.”
“What?”
“If it’s not being actively planned, it’s because someone’s in the middle of planning how to formulate a plan. And then once they’ve finished planning, they wonder why their plan didn’t work as planned. This is not a cause for concern. It’s a sign the world is still spinning the correct direction.”
The baroness feigned a dignified silence.
It was far too late, of course. By default, nobility had no dignity.
Still, I accepted the effort, and filled the silence with a tidy clap of my hands.
“Now, since you’ve no intention of fleeing, you can be useful instead. I’ll require a full inventory of your stock. I intend to requisition every single item you have in your possession. Every grain. Every crown. And every odd piece of tableware, carpet, candleholder and painting you might have.”
I pointed at the barn. A tragic thing to requisition. But if I was fortunate, it’d grow lacquered tiles and bay windows in the short steps between here and there.
Suddenly, the baroness’s eyes widened. The needless defiance dropped alarmingly from her face.
“Wait … what do you mean by that?”
I paused for a moment, puzzled by her reaction.
This was hardly the complicated part.
“I mean exactly what I mean. This should come as no surprise. I will be emptying every corner of the property you’ve misappropriated, including whatever manner of tunnels you’ve carved for your use. Rest assured, I’ll be employing the talents of my retainers extensively. With or without your cooperation, every single inch of your abode will be inspected by myself for the Royal Treasury’s benefit.”
She blinked between Renise and Coppelia. Although one was dressed as a maid and the other now appeared to be napping on the ground, their skills when it came to matters of unearthing valuables in my kingdom’s underbelly was not one I doubted.
Nor, from the way the baroness gulped, did she.
“I can do it,” she said suddenly.
I looked at her in confusion, uncertain what ploy this was.
“... Excuse me? Do what?”
“The items of value. I can bring them out. There’s no need to personally see to such a thing yourself.”
“While I’m in full agreement, I can hardly trust your reliability in this manner. And besides, I’ll hardly be playing the mule. I shall be supervising while closely assessing every item.”
Once more, the tonsils came out.
An appalling disregard of decorum. There was only one time that nobility was permitted to look so horrified in my presence. And that’s if they were copying my own after I discovered a list of marriage suitors posing as a napkin beneath the dessert spoon again.
“E-Even so … as the one who wronged you, I insist on not troubling a princess any further. If you give me a few moments, I can acquire the most important valuables for you in a fraction of the time you’d spend on finding them.”
“A few moments to hide them, you mean. No, I’m afraid that anything you wish to stuff beneath a floorboard will need to be appropriately examined first.”
I leaned away in mild alarm as a bead of sweat ran down the baroness’s face.
A moment later–
She finally did what only someone in her position could.
Adhering to the instincts of all nobility, she swept up her dress and suddenly dashed away.
Except it wasn’t towards the dark forest, to be lost amidst the shadows and the jaws of whatever awaited her there. It was back towards the barn.
I watched as she stumbled several times before even reaching the steps.
“... A desperate sight, no?” I said, with a sad shake of my head. “To throw away all semblance of the image she’d hoped to craft. Now she flees like a frightened towngirl. She should know that escape is now impossible.”
Beside me, Renise let out a hum.
Far from chasing after the baroness, she collected the pack of cards I’d assembled for memory wiping purposes. She began to build a house of cards.
I looked at her in puzzlement. She gave a strangely pained smile in reply.
“I believe we can offer her a few moments.”
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I had patient march up to counter today. This was the interaction:
Pharmacist: We’ll be with you in a second! 😊
** the other technician & I having an unspoken standoff to see who’s gonna give into the pressure of the apprehensive patient leering in our direction through the post pandemic plexiglass. **
5 seconds go by. 5 turned into 15, & 15 morphed into 20.
in this moment, the weight of the world was standing chin high atop my already-fragile shoulder blades. I couldn’t take it, so I gave into the duress of the register. As I begin to head in the direction of the outwindow, I realized my fate was sealed. I can feel my heart palpitating & my hands sweating.
“Hi how can I-“ I murmur.
interrupting me, “JANE DOE! 👹” The patient vociferated. “I’m here to pickup”
In a calm, yet shaken, tone I swiftly respond “Ok, what’s your date of birth?”
“01.01.1801”
With a clammy hand, I reach to grab the dust-covered prehistoric microsoft keyboard & begin to type in the recited DOB.
“It doesn’t look like we have anything ready for you! 🙂” I confidently announced.
“NOT AGAIN!” She howled. “It says there’s something for me!” ** flustering to search for rumored SMS messaging. **
“Okay, let’s see” I acknowledged.
“See? 👹 Look, it says reply YES if you wan- Ohhh“
a sense of relief cleansed the troposphere when I realized the messaging was simply inquiring if she’d like a refill on her fluoxetine. I could once again respire in a vigorous state.
“Yeah, that’s just asking if you’d like a refill on your fluoxetine capsules. Would you like to do that today?” I petitioned.
“Oh i’m sorry! I didn’t see, It’s okay.” She profusely apologized & disappeared into the flickering lights of the OTC Cough & Cold aisle, cutting the corner past the Neutrogena end cap never to be seen again for the remainder of the business day.
As I begin my journey back to my production station, I leave with a sense of pride & satisfaction. I realized I fought the combat & I conquered the register.
I wear my medallion on my sleeve & stand high as I live to take on another transaction.

I just wanted to see if anyone can relate to what I’m experiencing right now. I’m a teenage girl of divorced parents who divorced while I was in Kindergarten. Tonight I’ve had a bit of a spiral of emotions that led me to the fact that I’m always subconsciously comparing households. I’m pretty close with my mom, and when my dad messes up on something she’s fairly open to tell me why it was wrong and provide examples of what he’s done before. She claims that she’s done hiding stuff from me about him but I think that’s just an excuse to get a dig at her ex. I think it’s totally inappropriate and I would appreciate it if she were to let me come to her rather than spouting out her own advice. Other than that, we’re very close and I tell her about everything. She’s always understood my style, my hobbies, my interests and personalities. My dad, however, does not seem very well versed about me. I wouldn’t mind, until the whole divorce thing comes up. I think that because I come from my moms, where everything is like if I spat up my personality and threw it all over my walls and clothes, to my dads house, which is very regulated and I have to try hard to find stuff that I like, is very hard for me. At my mom’s house, my every need is met. From clothes to hair care to furniture, my mom will come home from a random shopping trip with something that is perfectly me. But at my dad’s house it’s just not that comfortable feeling. I think in the past few weeks I’ve asked for something different each week. I think it was a hair brush, then hair ties, then socks, then a pillow. This might be fine, but in the back of my mind I’m thinking “why do I act so spoiled? Why am I always demanding something?” And I freak myself out because I feel like my dad is gonna get annoyed with me asking for something all the time and I’ll just miss the cozy feeling of my moms house and it’s just not fair to my dad for me to just not want to have this constant pressure to know exactly what I want and need. Thank you for listening, I think I just needed somewhere to write and for people to relate. Have an amazing day ❤️❤️❤️

It's getting harder and harder to use the Clinic when you can't have a true conversation with someone. I'm trying to change my dose and get a new prescription because I was able to find 10mg in stock. I waiting 36hrs for a reply and ultimately the doctor asked me a question I already answered the day before in the chat with my care team. I answered the doctor within 5 mins and then haven't heard from her again - it has been hours. Ultimately, she won't get back to me until tomorrow evening since that's when she finishes her day job. By the time she sends the prescription (if she does it at all), it's going to be gone. I'm very close to transfering my care to my PCP. I liked the extra features of the Clinic but I'm pretty sure I've gotten everything I need out of it.

I'm a 20 year old and I live with my mother. My parents are divorced and I know nothing about my father's side of family as I was very young when it happened. My father is from a "low caste" (as they call it) and my family had not approved the marriage but my mom still got married and lived separately for sometime. My father was abusive towards my mother and was a drunkard. He had a wife about whom he had not told my mother. My mother stayed there for a while and then eventually decided to leave. My mother's family gave their reaction.. they said things like, "we told her and she didn't listen. She deserves that." My mother took me and we lived in a rented place for years. It was just me and her. There was no one to take care of me while she was in office and so she would leave me at my friend's place. I would stay there as soon as I got back from school or when I had holidays. Finally years later, when I was 7 or 8, my mother took me to see her family. I remember the look in their eyes. They didn't even bother if I was there (they = my mother's 1st younger sister. She had 3 sisters). I could not understand what they were talking about so I don't remember. I was very naughty and stubborn back then. I was a revolting kind of kid and I did receive some lessons from my mother to make things straight. But as time went by, I went to visit the grandparents and my uncles. They were nice. I had one more aunt (my mother's youngest sister) who lived abroad, I met her as well. Now idk why but whenever I made a mistake or something they would indirect bring up my father. They would say things like "you are his daughter afterall." Even if I had just made a small mistake. At first I didn't feel anything but looking at my other cousin brother, they didn't say anything to him even if he made a mistake. I used to envy him and kind of felt left out. I used to go to a boarding school and so I only came back home for my vacation. There were no phones allowed there so when I got home, I would listen to music, dance, watch movies and videos. My family members would give me a "you are too much. What is she even doing her" kind of look to me every single time. I would visit my grandparents place and I would always feel left out. Maybe I was just expecting too much from them. Now I was a teenager when things got worse. I had an argument with my mother once and my first aunt (let's call her aunt A) Aunt A called my other aunt (the abroad one.. let's call her aunt B) aunt B and told her all nonsense. You know when you tend to make things bigger, you mix up all kinds of spices and what not just to make that a big issue.. that is what my aunt did. Aunt B called me and scolded me for no reason because of all the other additional things Aunt A had told her. This happened a couple of times. My mother got sick and had to go to Delhi for treatment and Aunt A went with her. The other family members took me in that time and would help me get to my hostel, bring me home for holidays and took care of me. My cousin brother's mother was also sick a few months earlier but she had returned home. One morning I told my grandmother that I wanted to talk to my mother but she refused so I took the phone secretly and called my mom. She said she had reached and told me not to worry. But when my other family members found out that I had called my mom, they all started scolding me. "Your cousin brother is a god-like kid. He never called or asked for his mother. While you, you have the behaviour of your father. You will eat your mother alive someday." I was 9 or 10 years old then.
I got into high school and the same thing happened. I would have a little argument, Aunt A would eavesdrop our conversation and add things up and say it to Aunt B. Aunt B would come home for festivals and would scold the hell out of me. She would compare me with all the other kids in the area and especially my cousin brother. One time I had opened a Facebook account and they found out. They literally stalked me account and called my mother and told her that I had only men in my friend list. She said, "Your daughter does not have a pure blood. She is her father's daughter afterall. She is impure and I know she is up yo something bad." (Basically she tried to tell my mom that I would hook up with boys just like my father had married his wives). Time went on and they said what not. "We are your family only till your mother is alive. After that you go do whatever you want." "If you do this, if you do that, remember we are not your family. Don't call us that time." If they heard me sharing my problems with my mother, they would say "You are going to kill your mother. She is sick because of you." One time I was separating my old and new clothes and my mother was also there sitting in the sofa near me. I was tossing of my old clothes near the door so that it would be easier but then the next day after my classes I got a call from Aunt B. She told me that I had done the most terrible thing ever. Someone told her that I threw my clothes at my mother's face. She said "I love my sister (my mom) but seems like you will never love her." I was so done. She also blamed me for talking bad about my other cousins when I hadn't even done that. I used to joke with my mom saying that she cares for my younger cousins way more when I am away in hostel. But that thing took a turn. Still they tell me a lot of things. "You are showing your father's behaviour" this one is the most common one. I am a short-tempered, stubborn kid and I accept it. I could be at fault, too (and I do apologise for that). They call me "Kami", this might be a very communal thing to bring out, but yeah, it's basically what you call a SC if you are in a Nepali community. They sometimes use it to mock people as well. My family does that. I don't want to feel like way and try to be as optimistic as possible, but it is like that because for the same mistakes that are made by my other cousins, they never said anything. Every mistake, every situation, every argument, I am the bad guy. Why? Because my father who left years ago, when I couldn't even remember his face, was a drunkard, cheated on my mom and hated my mom's family because they did not like him and I am his daughter. The only person with a different title/surname in the family. What should I believe? Is it verbal abuse? Or? Please, someone tell me.

I'm a 20 year old and I live with my mother. My parents are divorced and I know nothing about my father's side of family as I was very young when it happened. My father is from a "low caste" (as they call it) and my family had not approved the marriage but my mom still got married and lived separately for sometime. My father was abusive towards my mother and was a drunkard. He had a wife about whom he had not told my mother. My mother stayed there for a while and then eventually decided to leave. My mother's family gave their reaction.. they said things like, "we told her and she didn't listen. She deserves that." My mother took me and we lived in a rented place for years. It was just me and her. There was no one to take care of me while she was in office and so she would leave me at my friend's place. I would stay there as soon as I got back from school or when I had holidays. Finally years later, when I was 7 or 8, my mother took me to see her family. I remember the look in their eyes. They didn't even bother if I was there (they = my mother's 1st younger sister. She had 3 sisters). I could not understand what they were talking about so I don't remember. I was very naughty and stubborn back then. I was a revolting kind of kid and I did receive some lessons from my mother to make things straight. But as time went by, I went to visit the grandparents and my uncles. They were nice. I had one more aunt (my mother's youngest sister) who lived abroad, I met her as well. Now idk why but whenever I made a mistake or something they would indirect bring up my father. They would say things like "you are his daughter afterall." Even if I had just made a small mistake. At first I didn't feel anything but looking at my other cousin brother, they didn't say anything to him even if he made a mistake. I used to envy him and kind of felt left out. I used to go to a boarding school and so I only came back home for my vacation. There were no phones allowed there so when I got home, I would listen to music, dance, watch movies and videos. My family members would give me a "you are too much. What is she even doing her" kind of look to me every single time. I would visit my grandparents place and I would always feel left out. Maybe I was just expecting too much from them. Now I was a teenager when things got worse. I had an argument with my mother once and my first aunt (let's call her aunt A) Aunt A called my other aunt (the abroad one.. let's call her aunt B) aunt B and told her all nonsense. You know when you tend to make things bigger, you mix up all kinds of spices and what not just to make that a big issue.. that is what my aunt did. Aunt B called me and scolded me for no reason because of all the other additional things Aunt A had told her. This happened a couple of times. My mother got sick and had to go to Delhi for treatment and Aunt A went with her. The other family members took me in that time and would help me get to my hostel, bring me home for holidays and took care of me. My cousin brother's mother was also sick a few months earlier but she had returned home. One morning I told my grandmother that I wanted to talk to my mother but she refused so I took the phone secretly and called my mom. She said she had reached and told me not to worry. But when my other family members found out that I had called my mom, they all started scolding me. "Your cousin brother is a god-like kid. He never called or asked for his mother. While you, you have the behaviour of your father. You will eat your mother alive someday." I was 9 or 10 years old then.
I got into high school and the same thing happened. I would have a little argument, Aunt A would eavesdrop our conversation and add things up and say it to Aunt B. Aunt B would come home for festivals and would scold the hell out of me. She would compare me with all the other kids in the area and especially my cousin brother. One time I had opened a Facebook account and they found out. They literally stalked me account and called my mother and told her that I had only men in my friend list. She said, "Your daughter does not have a pure blood. She is her father's daughter afterall. She is impure and I know she is up yo something bad." (Basically she tried to tell my mom that I would hook up with boys just like my father had married his wives). Time went on and they said what not. "We are your family only till your mother is alive. After that you go do whatever you want." "If you do this, if you do that, remember we are not your family. Don't call us that time." If they heard me sharing my problems with my mother, they would say "You are going to kill your mother. She is sick because of you." One time I was separating my old and new clothes and my mother was also there sitting in the sofa near me. I was tossing of my old clothes near the door so that it would be easier but then the next day after my classes I got a call from Aunt B. She told me that I had done the most terrible thing ever. Someone told her that I threw my clothes at my mother's face. She said "I love my sister (my mom) but seems like you will never love her." I was so done. She also blamed me for talking bad about my other cousins when I hadn't even done that. I used to joke with my mom saying that she cares for my younger cousins way more when I am away in hostel. But that thing took a turn. Still they tell me a lot of things. "You are showing your father's behaviour" this one is the most common one. I am a short-tempered, stubborn kid and I accept it. I could be at fault, too (and I do apologise for that). They call me "Kami", this might be a very communal thing to bring out, but yeah, it's basically what you call a SC if you are in a Nepali community. They sometimes use it to mock people as well. My family does that. I don't want to feel like way and try to be as optimistic as possible, but it is like that because for the same mistakes that are made by my other cousins, they never said anything. Every mistake, every situation, every argument, I am the bad guy. Why? Because my father who left years ago, when I couldn't even remember his face, was a drunkard, cheated on my mom and hated my mom's family because they did not like him and I am his daughter. The only person with a different title/surname in the family. What should I believe? Is it verbal abuse? Or? Please, someone tell me.

First I wanna say way to go K, you are standing your ground! Second….N. What the actual fuck. You cry like a baby back b**** for your wife for DAYS. Fill all your followers with your nonsense, “I want my wife back” “even if the divorce does go through I’m still going to fight for her” “I miss my wife and kids”. So she tells you just friends and you bash her for it? Can’t you see what you’re doing? Probably not because you’re clinically insane at this rate. You agreed to friends, asked what stipulations were and agreed to them. THEN k stands her ground as just friends, you cross the boundaries and get blocked. You had an in with your wife again, you said on your life “if she can only give me friendship then it’s gonna be the most important friendship to me”. That was your chance to show true growth and change. You need some clinical help. You need to be single and stop chasing all these girl, because that’s what you attract baby boy Robert. Any self respecting woman would run, TikTok is not your dating field. You keep creating the drama bed you’re sleeping in then have the nerve to say your mentally trained, you are creating your own insanity. Ps. How many accounts do you have to have before you realize people don’t like you or want you on this app?

I'm a 27 yr old, who feels kinda lost. Granted I have my 2 kids, a stable job, a wonderful boyfriend, and a supportive group of wonderful people in my life. I just found out that I'm pregnant and the family is excited. However I'm currently taking my abuser to court and it's been getting stalled. Multiple times. What I mean by stalled is that they keep pushing it off for one reason or another. I wanna give you guys some background before I ask my questions.
When I was 11 my biological father signed his rights away, gave me to my biological mother and (at that time) my stepdad, and left my life. I remember, on my birthday, the school threw a wonderful party for me. Then my dad picked me up from school early and we drove to a gas station miles away and I saw my biological mother for the first time since I was 8. My stepdad gave me gifts and I saw my dad signing something on the back of his car and handing it to my biological mother. We eventually got back to my bio mom's house (after a tire flying off the car and spending a night in a hotel room) and got settled. We lived in an old house and they converted the dinning room into a bedroom for me. So in order to get into the kitchen from the front room, they had to come through my room. Every night my stepdad would come by and run my head. Tracing over my hair from the front of my head to the end of my pixie cut hair. At that time I thought that this is what a dad who loves their kid does because my bio dad wasn't that affectionate. 6 months after we got home from the gas station, my stepdad adopted me. Since he was 14 years younger than my mom and only 10 years older than me, it was easy to get along with him. I saw him more as a friend than a father and my bio mom was distant so he'd be the one interacting with me. When I was 12 my bio mom and adoptive father used to check if I brushed my teeth by smelling my breath. My bio mom stopped doing it and asked my adoptive father to do it, so he was the main one that checked my breath. Once he joked about if I were to do it again that he'd kiss me. I told my adoptive father that I wasn't scared of him and he kissed me. The adult activities followed a few days after that. When I was 13, I had a boyfriend who I told that my adoptive father and I did adult things, because I wanted him to know that I knew about that world. My bf (at that time), let's call him Tod, informed me that my aunt needed to hear my stories. So I told her. I remember her face going pale for a moment and then she was back to her normal self. Since I was only at my aunt's house because me and Tod were picking out me a homecoming dress, we got in the car shortly after I told my aunt. She drove us (me and Tod) home and there was a white car there. I got taken into foster care until I was 14 (only spending the beginning of 8th grade in care). I felt so bad for talking about what happened between me and my adoptive father that I recanted what I had said and ended up being placed back in the house with my bio mother and adoptive father. The adult activities continued just a couple weeks after I got home. When I was 16, I ran away with a new bf. That bf got scary aggressive so I messaged my bio mom and told her I needed to come home. She told me she wasn't going to be there if I came back. I didn't believe her because she's lied to me multiple times before. I broke up with him. My adoptive father came to get me and got me back to the house. My bio mom ended up not being there. So for the next couple years, I still went to school, adult activities still continued, alcohol and drugs were introduced, physical violence started, more abusive language came out, and all of that my adoptive father made sure of. I found out I was 3 months pregnant when I was 18. I got kicked out. Keep in mind it was only me and my adoptive father in the house. I ended up getting myself an apartment and was able to make a little money by selling jewelry and crafts I made. All that time, I didn't understand that what he did to me was wrong. So when he showed up to my apartment with flowers and a card for mother's day(even though the baby wasn't born yet), I let him inside. My adoptive father apologized. The cycle started all over again except for the drugs and alcohol because of the baby. I gave birth and couldn't breastfeed so he started smoking green with me. My adoptive father caused a huge fight that cost me my apartment so I moved towns away into a friend's house. We will call her Bee. Bee had dated and had a kid with my brother and we were really close. I knew Bee since early highschool and she knew a lot of what I went through. I made friends there and Bee had my kicked out of their house so me and my first born moved into another friends house. I got beat there so I call my uncle to help me find a place. Unfortunately my uncle didn't know what my adoptive father had done so they showed up to pick me up together. We (me, son, and adoptive father) moved into adoptive grandma's house. The cycle started again. This time he was the only one who was allowed to drink and it was behind doors because Grandma was against it. I didn't even know until after. It was in that house, he disclosed to me that he used to peek through the slats of the wall of the bathroom while I showered when I was 11, and that he was the one to leave the vibrator on the counter for me to find. Adoptive grandma bought me and my adoptive father a house that needed some work on. Adoptive father attacked adoptive grandma so we got evicted and moved into that house alone. The house didn't have electricity or running water, but we were able to stay clean and comfortable because we knew how to survive in that environment, but even I can admit that's no way to live. Drugs and alcohol were common. Adoptive father also gave me(I don't think I have to say in what way) to several of his friends. One night, a friend of Bee's came over and hung out with us after my son fell asleep. The friend had brought alcohol over and we all had a few drinks. Adoptive father because angered and the friend left. My son woke up because of the yelling so I picked him up to comfort him. I should have left him there because what happened next I still hold a lot of hate towards myself for even though my son is perfectly fine now. Adoptive father became more and more upset by the minute so I moved so it'd put space between us. I moved to where there was a table between me and adoptive father. I'm still holding my son at that time. Adoptive father comes rushing towards the table and throws it out of the way. He swung at me and I turned my body thinking that I had to block the blow for hitting my son. I didn't turn quick enough and my son (only 1yrs old) had a red mark on his chest. Adoptive father paused for a moment in shock that he hit the baby and gave me enough time to put the baby down and grab my phone. I started to call my closest friend at that time (who was aware of my life story and was on call whenever I needed a safe place) but adoptive father grabbed my phone, hung up, and held me down until I told him I wouldn't leave the house. I waited until he was asleep and call my friend again. Minutes later me and my baby were in a car heading to safety. The last time I spoke directly to my adoptive father was when I was 21, and that was because he called me and asked if I pressed charges against him for hitting the baby. I told him, no I didn't but his bio dad (who he hated) was the one to talk to the cops and gave them pictures of my bruises. He spent 2 years in prison for assault and that was his third strike at that time. The states attorney found out that I had a child with my adoptive father and called me on the number I gave the cops. 4 years ago they opened a case of incest against him and have filed charges. The trials and sentencing dates have been postponed multiple times and the next courtdate is in July of this year. The last one was supposed to be in April, however the defense attorney was sick. 2 years ago, while I was in a lot of counseling appointments, I finally understood what grooming was and that my childhood and teenage years weren't supposed to happen. At least in a good family, the situations I was put in wouldn't have happened. I found out that my adoptive father married Bee (the friend who had a kid with my brother) and that they had 3 kids together. My brother found out that that couple had beaten my niece and now has full custody of my niece.
I currently live in a home with my kids and bf. I have a job. I have kept up with every court date. I have shown up for every courtdate. Even driving hours to and from the court house because I lived 2 years in a different state. I have done everything in my power to make sure my kids are safe and away from the situation. However I feel like my oldest will need to know who his bio father is eventually. He's only 8yrs old rn. He does resemble his bio father in some ways that are only shown when he's mad or trying to hide something and it scares me every time. I love my kid and I feel horrible everytime my mind sees my adoptive father in my son. My son knows that his biological father is responsible for a scar across his middle finger because his bio father turned on a industrial fan while my son's hand was on it, but that's all he knows about his biological father. How do I go about helping him not turn into the type of person his biological father is? How would I address it later when he has more questions?

First I wanna say way to go K, you are standing your ground! Second….N. What the actual fuck. You cry like a baby back b**** for your wife for DAYS. Fill all your followers with your nonsense, “I want my wife back” “even if the divorce does go through I’m still going to fight for her” “I miss my wife and kids”. So she tells you just friends and you bash her for it? Can’t you see what you’re doing? Probably not because you’re clinically insane at this rate. You agreed to friends, asked what stipulations were and agreed to them. THEN k stands her ground as just friends, you cross the boundaries and get blocked. You had an in with your wife again, you said on your life “if she can only give me friendship then it’s gonna be the most important friendship to me”. That was your chance to show true growth and change. You need some clinical help. You need to be single and stop chasing all these girl, because that’s what you attract baby boy Robert. Any self respecting woman would run, TikTok is not your dating field. You keep creating the drama bed you’re sleeping in then have the nerve to say your mentally trained, you are creating your own insanity. Ps. How many accounts do you have to have before you realize people don’t like you or want you on this app?

Hi there! I’m on probation in Arizona for a felony drug conviction back in February 2023. I am trying to transfer from Maricopa to Pima County, if that’s relevant. I was sentenced to three years probation, but my plea deal said I could cut that time in half if I completed a treatment program. I tried several locations in Phoenix at this program called Terros Health, and attended meetings for about two months at one of them. However, the treatment environment was extremely disappointing and not conducive to healing and for the sake of my own mental health, I had to stop going. Then my life got busy, and suddenly it was time for testing. I was then tested for six months and tested clean the whole way. I even had a surprise UA several months after that, which was clean, and that was about a month ago. I am still very much sober but I am running out of time to complete an entire program, many of which want you to attend meetings multiple times a week, which I am way too busy for. I asked my last PO if there was another option, and she said that all I would need to do was complete a treatment assessment at one of these facilities, and if they determine that I am not at risk of going back to illicit drug use, I can present that finding to the court and have them consider it.
So my question is: Does anyone know anything more about this process? What does a typical treatment assessment entail, and what should I do if they still determine me to be at risk in spite of probably nine months of sobriety beginning in July with my UA testing (minus a relapse)? I don’t even know my Date of Last Use. I had a relapse in December for a few days, and one usage in February, but nothing since, and my interest in going back has been completely diminishing over time, with me now being too damn busy trying to keep my life afloat to even think about it. I just need this to work because being on probation has actually been getting in the way of me getting my life together moreso than it has actually “rehabilitated” me. I want this dark chapter of my life to be over and I don’t want to sit in a circle to talk about myself as an addict twice a week when that doesn’t even accurately reflect the problems I’m facing.

So I'm gonna start this off with saying I suck at explaining how I feel in posts and well I have a hard time explaining anything anywhere so if what I say doesn't make sense in some parts I do apologize. Hi, my name's Cj I'm a soon to be 26 (may 22nd aye, only eight days away from posting this) male who just kind of had a blown up at my mom but no yelling conversation with my mom. My mom (soon to be 49) had me as a bit of an accident, her and my dad (who lives in Vegas) had "one last go" before my mom moved back to Wisconsin and then found out she was pregnant with me a few months later. Growing up she always told my dad didn't want anything to do with me, was an alcoholic, drug addict and other horrible things so she never let me talk to him or let him come to Wisconsin to see me or us go out to Vegas to meet him at all (I never met him or talked to him). After he passed away in 2011 I started talking to his side of the family like my aunts, uncles and grandma. A year or so after talking to them I asked them if my dad ever talked about me to them or how he wanted to see me, they told me that he loved me so much and was trying to do everything he could to see me and meet me. A couple years ago I asked my aunt about my dad being an alcoholic and all that, my aunt said my dad never touched the stuff, only drug he did was a bit of weed every now and then, no alcohol or hard drugs. When I found that out I was heartbroken and I kind of kept it inside of how I felt for a few months, when I confronted her about her lies she denied ever saying anything like that but my grandparents, uncle and other family members all tell me that she said all those bad things about him all the time. My dad from when I was born to when he died, tried so hard to meet me and spend time with me but my mom denied him every time. Denied me my father and made up lies about him to make me think he was a bad man but he was the complete opposite.
That's one of the things I blew up at her about, here's the others. When I was about 4 or 5 years old my mom married my ex step dad (they divorced when I was 10) and they had my two younger sisters (that information will come into play soon). For the years my mom was married to, let's call him C, C abused me mentally and physically but that's it. She never once defended after he did those things except for maybe a couple times in the beginning. Now if my sisters (one who is 6 years younger than me and the other is 8 years younger than me) had been treated even an ounce badly she would defend them right away. Fast forward to the present, I left my mom to live with my grandparents at the age of 10 (right after their divorce) when they got legal custody of me cause I was dealing with a lot of mental stuff kids that age should never deal with (depression, PTSD and more),I included that part of moving in with my grandparents cause it was at that time she never told me she loves me, appreciates me or anything since then. I always had contact with her, visited her dozens of times a month with my grandparents, stayed with her, lived with her for a year back in 2021-2022 after I got out of the mental hospital. I have done so much for her, after my dad died I started getting social security death benefits (I believe that's what it is called I'm not to sure) monthly but since I was still young my mom was getting them, I didn't get a PENNY from those which were supposed to go to me and my care cause she was using it all on herself for rent when I didn't even live with her, random bull crap and more. When I was able to open my own bank account when I was 16 with the help of my grandparents I started getting those checks myself. When that happened she went off the handle and blamed me for her possibly getting kicked out of her place, not being able to afford food and other things when she had a great paying job that she was able to more than support herself and my two sisters as a single mom. Ever since then my mom constantly guilt trips me into helping her out with money (she makes almost twice as much as I do) for bills and food, I used to do it every time and she never thanked me for it, said she loved me for doing it or anything. I've recently stopped doing it but she still brings up in random phone conversations or texts quite literally out of thin air (we can be talking about random things like the weather) like saying "yeah I don't think I can afford the electric bill this month cause my whole paycheck went to rent and I don't even think I can get groceries" but yet she can afford getting more random crafts she'll lose interest in in a matter of days, new bags, water bottles and more.
Okay sorry for the long winded explanation, this all boiled up to yesterday (day after mother's day) when she posted stuff about what my sisters got her for mother's day, nothing about what I got her even though I spent $100+ on her and not even a thanks or I love you for it. I called her and asked why she didn't include what I got her she simply said "I don't know" and for some reason that set me off to where I spent about 25 minutes telling her how she has made me feel like a son she never wanted and doesn't want by saying she kept me from my dad for no reason, she let the abuse happen, she drains me of my money, doesn't say I love you, makes everything about her like when my grandma died, how she hurts me with all the bad stuff she's done to me, talks bad about me behind my back (I know this cause my sisters tell me when she does when she talks to them and vice versa for me to them), doesn't care if I died barley able to get a coherent sentence together cause I'm choking on tears. All she had to say was "so you just think I'm a horrible mother? Should I just go die in a hole then? Would that make you feel better?". When she said that I just hung up the phone and cried till I had to go to work, I work with kids so I had to put on a strong face. We haven't talked since then and I don't know how long it will be till We do..... So AITA for finally letting her know how I feel about what she's done/does to me? Or am I truly a bad son like how she makes me feel?

My girlfriend doesnt initiate sex
I (20m) have an issue with my girlfriend (21f) not initiating sex. I wanna start with saying we usually have sex around 3-5 times a week. We have been together for a year and a half now and she had started sex maybe 3 times and each of those times have been the most subtle things. For instance when i want to initiate ill maybe dirty talk her or like touch her body all over or grind up to her and then ill do a lot of foreplay to get her in the mood. The times she initiated she j kisses my back for a few min and then gave up and i eventually had to continue it. Ive tried not having sex for extended periods of time but she still doesnt do anything about it. Ive voiced my opinions many times and nothing seems to change.
My biggest issue is im starting to have trouble being in the moment or even getting hard or having an orgasm. I always make sure she is satisfied plenty of foreplay and if i cum and dont think she came or came enough ill go down on her. Ive even said this to her and she still hasnt done anything. Then i recently bought some sex toys (after discussing it with her) to maybe help me a little bit (because both she and i feel bad if i dont come or cant get hard) and then after i ordered them she had a whole mental breakdown about me not liking her or finder her attractive or something like that. I find her very attractive it j doesnt make me feel very good if im the one always starting it. Ive told her she can literally do anything to me at any time and i dont care ill get down and dirty with her even if im asleep or driving or anything but nothing has changed.
i feel like im a good boyfriend to her i mean she always tells me its weird to feel so safe and loved (she had a few toxic relationships) and ive shown her and told her things that get me going and she knows what i like the issue is she only does it when asked and that defeats the point. I j feel like she is having sex because i want to even if she has told me she wants it. Its not a fun situation and we were together a few years ago (17m and 18f) before we started dating again and she would go crazy so like where did that go what happened why is it different this time. She also complains if we dont have sex for an extended period but doesnt try to do anything abt it its always on me
Ive told her that if i ask than it ruins it for me. I also know her inside and out i know what makes her mad happy sad horny you name it. I feel like she doesnt put that effort towards me especially in bed. She also gets upset if i dont initiate sex but also wont do it herself. I just dont know what to do anymore and i keep overthinking things and its all just getting worse so any advice helps.
TL:DR girlfriend doesnt initiate sex. My dick isnt working because i need to feel wanted. She broke down after i bought toys (after asking). What should i do? How do I get her to understand

So I got my friend hooked on this show and she finally came over to watch the last couple episodes. I explained to her what the ring meant and why it’s important that Casey has it. Of course at first she says “wait are they Alice’s child from the future??”
I’ve had reservations about this theory purely because Casey doesn’t look like they could be Alice’s offspring. Then my friend says “Ok what if they’re Alice’s sibling? Kat and Elliot’s child?”
OMG
YOU GUYS
HOLY CRAP
Apologies if this has been tossed out already because I haven’t been checking back here as much. But OMG OMG THIS MAKES SO MUCH SENSE! Casey even looks like they could be Kat and Elliot’s child!
Edit: Ok I know this does not explain how Casey is also a Goodwin but we don’t even know if that’s true really.

Intro

Hello, I'm Goody. I make TFT content on YouTube, Twitch, and occassionally Reddit.

This time I'm here to discuss Zoe Reroll, a comp that has caused a little bit of a stir on the PBE due to her buffs in 14.10

I honestly think Zoe is insanely OP now (I mean just watch this clip I posted a few days ago).

But there are those that say Zoe is a terrible unit

The most prominent of which is Mortdog who said "Stop playing Zoe. She's not good. Despite the buff even"
(VOD Timestamp of this here)

Challenger Zoe One-Trick: LIGhtYgo

I've been playing a lot of Zoe Reroll on the PBE, but recently in my stream CuLe TV told me about a Challenger on the Japanese server who one-tricks Zoe Reroll called LIGhtYgo. His lolchess page is here if you want to read it
And coincidentally, I've been playing the same comp they play amongst others that I'll share with you today

TLDR:

If you want a TLDR, this timestamped section should cover that

VIDEO FORM

(The video also has Spanish and Vietnamese Subtitles)
Disclaimer: I tested these comps on the PBE and I have not played them in ranked. For transparency, here is my lolchess
And my Exalted only account here

(Highly recommend trying this btw, it's very fun)

But let's get started!

Ghoe Reroll (Ghostly Zoe)

So let's start with what LIGhtYgo plays which is this comp here
(Teambuilder here)
I couldn't find any VODs to link from LIGhtYgo but here's some of my gameplay of this comp on the PBE
From looking at their match history, LIGhtYgo tends to reroll Shen + Zyra or Zoe + Illaoi (1 tank + 1 carry) but sometimes they manage to 3 star everything alongside Aatrox.

Give Zoe Shiv

LIGhtYgo also frequently itemises Zoe with Statikk Shiv, 3 star or otherwise, to stack Zoe's passive as much as possible.

Passive: Kills increase the number of ricochets by 1 for the rest of combat.

Now, I should mention that Zoe's tooltip here is misleading and frankly incorrect. Zoe gains more ricochets if she participates in a kill, also known as takedowns.
And that is why Statikk Shiv is so phenomenal for Zoe. Not only is she reducing the MR of enemy units (helps Ghostly and your Magic Damage Dealers) but the damage from Shiv will give Zoe takedown credit once those enemy units perish.
So, even with just a Shiv and at 2 star, Zoe can be very impactful as her passive continues to easily stack.
Thus Zoe has great synergy with other AP carries like Zyra, Morgana, Teemo, Alune etc as they soften enemy units for each other to clean up.
And so Zoe is an incredible secondary carry as she needs very little to come online
You can infer this from LIGhtYgo's match history as they tend to succeed more when Zoe isn't their primary carry but rather secondary.
Although the buff to Zoe in 14.10 should change that, especially combined with the buffs to Ghostly, Warden, Aatrox, Behemoth and Jax.

Zoe's Weaknesses

From my games, I've felt Zoe has 2 main weaknesses

• Firstly, she can struggle into tanky frontliners as it'll take her more time to stack her passive.
• Secondly, Zoe can lose 1v1s as her ult will no longer ricochet (no targets left to bounce to)

These weaknesses can make Zoe feel very binary: - she either gets 3/4 takedowns and nukes - or she gets stuck, gets no passive stacks, and does nothing

Spooky Solution

But that’s why Ghostly can provide so much value to Zoe.
Those Spectres will help Zoe get through tanks and once they're concentrated, Zoe's single target will nuke which even allows her to win those 1v1s

Problems with Ghoe Reroll

From what I tried on the PBE, I did find this comp to be very powerful at level 9. However it could be a struggle getting there as you also need to reroll Zoe who can be contested by Fortune, Arcanist, and Storyweaver players

Is it a Player Diff?

I also find there to be a really odd tempo where I need to find Zoe 3 but also hit level 9 to find Udyr. I did learn later that you don't really need to 3 star Zoe to get to 9, and it's certainly not impossible to hit Zoe 3 at level 9.
Although, it seems that LIGhtYgo resolves this problem by keeping the option of Zyra Reroll open. (They play boards akin to this one occasionally)
Also, sometimes the Inkshadow item doesn't tend to be that useful, especially if it's Tattoo of Bombardment, as you don't have an AD carry.
Lastly, the position of the Ghostly units is really important so the Spectres concentrate onto Zoe's target(s). This can be really awkward if your primary Ghostly tank has a Stoneplate.
I have lost games because I moved Zoe away from my Ghostly units last second :(
But by far the biggest problem I have found is how much better the comp becomes at 9 than level 8. I personally find rerolling at level 8 to be the easiest to find 3 star Illaoi, Zoe, and Galio 2 whilst also being able to field 8 units which enable many important synergies.
Essentially, I don't like rerolling at either 7 or 8 with this comp. So I decided to comp up with a new comp to address this problem which is Altruist Arcanist.

4 Arcanist 3 Altruist Zoe Reroll

So here's a new variant of Zoe Reroll that has an incredibly strong level 8 (you play Rakan at 9) that gives you more time to reroll and find Zoe 3. This makes this comp so much easier to play and in turn, I have had so much more success with this variation particularly.
Teambuilder here
[Here's the full game from that clip with this comp]
This board also has a primary tank option between Amumu or Illaoi so you can play around whichever you manage to 3 star.
Although your secondary carry here is Lux who also holds your utility items like Morello and Shiv.

The Lissandra Nerfs really hurt...

Honestly, this may be extreme bias due to a bad few games, but I find a Lux 2 to be more reliable than post-nerf Lissandra. Lux feels like she needs a lot less to function better as she CC's more units, usually targets and slows down the enemy carry, and softens up enemy units for Zoe.
(VOD of why I don't like Lissandra)
The combination of Lux, Amumu, and Illaoi feels incredibly solid
Now the reason why I don't give Zoe Shiv on this board is due to a few reasons - Altruists prolong combat due to the mana reave, damage reduction, ally healing, and the trait resistances - That allows your frontline to be super beefy especially since the resistances are great for Bruisers/Wardens (loads of EHP) - Lux will have more AS than Zoe (Lux: 0.7x1.5=1.05 vs Zoe: 0.75x1.2=0.9) - And finally, opening up that item slot allows you to give Zoe a third damage item

Why not itemise Soraka?

Your secondary carry items should be going to Lux as she has more AP from Arcanist.
While Soraka can do a lot of damage, you only really care about her mana reave because it's such a powerful utility ability.
Regardless, Soraka will gain AP naturally from her passive as your frontline will continue to heal during combat. As she gains more AP, she heals your frontline more, who then stall for longer.
Lastly, the following 2 combinations are literally perfect for Altruist Arcanist.

Lux, Teemo, Thresh, Volibear, Galio, Morgana Darius, Bard, Soraka, Galio, Lissandra

4 Warden 6 Arcanist

Here's the board for this one
Teambuilder
(Here's some Footage of this Comp in Action)

Meta Report from Khym and YBY1

In the 14.10 Meta Report by Khym and YBY1, Arcanist Zoe is described as an Easy Top 4 Comp (if I'm reading that correctly)
Khym also has a guide on how to play Zoe/Illaoi RR here
And what's great here is that, again, as you reroll you have option between Amumu or Illaoi 3 as your tank (however Illaoi is better due to the Arcanist AP)
Also, with the 4 Warden buff, this frontline feels great and buys plenty of time for Zoe to scale.
And this variation certainly has the highest ceiling out of all the comps if you get a Porcelain Spatula

6 Arcanist, 4 Warden, 4 Porcelain is extremely powerful.

Luckily, you can easily pivot into this board from Altruist Arcanist but pivoting is a tad more difficult to do if you're playing Ghoe.
Similarly, both the Warden and Altruist boards can tech in Hwei at 8 to make hitting the 3 stars easier.
4 Warden Hwei 4 Arcanist 2 Altruist Hweimothy
So if you're low rolling Zoe, Hwei can easily save the day.
Regardless, all 3 comps make up for at least one of Zoe's weaknesses. They either buy her plenty of time to scale or they tremendously enable her damage and, in turn, her passive.
And, at the very least, Zoe is great item holder due to her buffed passive
Speaking of which, let's talk about Zoe's items now.

Zoe's Items

Of course, as I've mentioned, you can give Zoe Shiv so she can get takedown credit and stack her passive quickly
But generally, MR reduction is necessary (even if it's not on her) so Zoe can kill units and stack her passive. Shiv is far more preferable to build but Ionic still does the job.
But I'm a simple guy, I want to see BIG damage numbers and huge ricochets, thus I forgo Shiv on Zoe for pure damage items.
But before we get into those items, let's talk about which casting item Zoe will want

Casting item: Shojin vs Adaptive Math

First cast:

Zoe is 0/60 and Shojin/Adaptive give 15 mana

Shojin:

0.75^-1x3 = 4 seconds

Adaptive:

0.75^-1x4 = 5.3 seconds

Second Cast onwards

Shojin:

0.75^-1x4 = 5.3 seconds

Adaptive:

10 mana after 0.7 seconds 40 mana every 3 autos every 4 seconds Then 1 more auto for 10 more mana
Thus Adaptive: 0.75^-1x4 = 5.3 seconds
So Shojin will get Zoe's first cast off sooner however after that Zoe's cast frequency between Adaptive and Shojin is the same.
Considering Adaptive gives more AP, is not dependant on auto attacking, will continue to generate mana even if Zoe gets stunned (or has to walk up) and it grants MR (useful against magic damage), I believe Adaptive is the superior mana generating item on Zoe if she has no bonus attack speed
If Zoe has just a Shiv, then her cast frequency is much faster [(0.75x1.2)^-1x4 = 4.4 seconds] with Shojin.

TLDR:

• Give Zoe Adaptive if you're going solely damage items on her (Rabadon/Archangel's + Jewelled Gauntlet)
• Give Zoe Shojin if she has any bonus attack speed (Nashor's/Shiv/Pumping Up)

AP item: Rabadon or Archangel's

Of course, Zoe is a Mage and so she wants as much AP as possible which is either Rabadon or Archangel’s
I prefer Rabadon because it's more upfront AP alongside a great damage amplifier. However Archangel's can be more realistic to build and eventually it will outscale Rabadon's AP.

Increase Casting/Damage Multiplier

Lastly, you can give Zoe an item to increase her casting frequency like Shiv or Nashor's Tooth. Both of these items maximise Zoe's Kill Participation.
Or you can give her more damage amp for more, well, damage. Those are items like Jewelled Gauntlet or even items like Guardbreaker or Giant Slayer.
Although if you go the pure damage route, you need Zoe 3 and a ton of AP, so Zoe can stack her passive by one shotting whatever she touches.

SUPER TDLR:

Generally great build : Shiv/Nashor's + Shojin + Rabadon/Jewelled
My favourite: Adaptive + Rabadon + Jewelled

Bonus: Luden's Tempest

Luden's Tempest feels amazing on Zoe. With her ricochets, she gets so much takedown credit so quickly with it and it's so much damage.
[Here's my gameplay of Luden's Zoe in action]
And what's nice is that Zoe formerly built Luden's in TFT's spinoff game League of Legends. So it's a great callback
Although I've never played Zoe before...can I pretend to have a sense of nostalgia?

Kayle Upgrade

It's Blue.
20 AP is 20 AP. You're already building Shred so Green is Redundant, and the Attack Speed from Red is only 12%.

Pivot Potential

Zoe's items are very flexible so if you don't hit Zoe 3, you can pivot them to other AP carries like Syndra, Azir, Lissandra and Lillia.
So you don't absolutely need to reroll Zoe, you can just as easily use Zoe to Fast 9 instead, especially around Storyweaver, and pivot into a Legendary board.

Fin.

That is all the information I currently have on Zoe Reroll
Hopefully this was helpful but I'd like to ask for your thoughts
What do you guys think about Zoe?

Do you think it's as OP as I believe or is Mortdog right?

Also, I usually do Patch Previews for each patch (for example here's my 14.10 patch preview), but I'm curious whether you guys would be interested if i made that into a Reddit post as well.
I imagine it'd be similar to how they do it on the LoL subreddit but I'd include my thoughts as well.
For example, I think Low Interest Rates is turbo giga insane in 14.10 because you can hit max interest rate at 2-6 (by the latest) at which point you're earning 6 gold a turn.
Lastly, I'm currently working on a Rek'sai reroll comp that is incredibly funny so look forward to that!
But yeah, I'll leave it on that note I think

Let me know if you have any questions!

I shall answer them as soon as i wake up lol

Thank you for reading <3

(probably should use "twisted" or "corrupted" instead of "perverted", but I like rhymes. And it sounds funnier).
So! Heraldic madness. They all have assigned divine traits, and they all seems to be busy doing the exact opposite. Or they're still doing their thing, but in a twisted way that does more harm than good. Or-- and this is the theory I saw many moons ago-- since they have two traits, one trait is inverted and one trait is perverted. I do really like this theory because it works very well for some of them, but I'm not sure if it holds up for everything. So that's what I'd like to discuss tonight-- which Heralds it fits, where it might fall through, and whether you, dear Redditor, personally find it convincing or not.

Good fits

• Shallash [creative (inverted) /honest (perverted)]: She knows that the Heralds lied and abandoned their duty, and her Honesty has been twisted into a mania where she can't let people worship her. This leads into her Destructiveness, ruining artwork of herself.
  
• Ishar [pious (inverted)/guiding (perverted)]: Tyranny is an extremely direct method of Guiding. And it's hard to get more Blasphemous than declaring yourself God.
  
• Kalak [resolute (inverted)/builder (perverted): We all saw just how Indecisive he was in Rhythm of War; man can barely pick out his socks in the morning. As for Builder, my theory is that when he starts something, it goes out of his control in an entirely unintended direction. Like if, say, he were to start a secret society with purpose of of finding a way for a Herald to escape the planet; their mission statement might devolve into something like "start the Apocalypse in order the bring the Heralds back". Just for example.
  
• Nale [just (perverted)/confident (inverted)]: Nale's Justice has become blind adherence to the letter of the law, because he is Unsure of his own powers of reason. (I'm not entirely happy about this one because it breaks the pattern of the primary trait being the inverted one, but it seems to fit best that way).
  

Only have partial knowledge

• Battar (wise/careful): Taking Tarvy at face value (a thing which has always gone well) when he says she's Dova, she instigated and has been advising the Diagram. I would say that lines up best with a perversion of Wise, in which she is giving good advice for a... less than good end. I guess her inversion would be Carelessness, and you know what? Getting in bed with any old secret society might just indicate a lack of critical thinking.
  
• Jezrien (protecting/leading): He gets drunk and... well, that's most of what we know about him. He's a drunk. Either one of those could be the inversion, and the other one something he does off page. You know what, I'm going to say he's practicing, uh, Dereliction. And he's perverting Protection by enabling alcoholics like Dalinar to avoid facing their pain.
  

Does he even belong on this list?

• Taln (dependable/resourceful): Is Heraldic Opposite-Day Syndrome from breaking the Oathpact, or just a consequence of Honor dying/time passing/something else that applies to them equally? Not that I'm denying Taln is also insane, I'm just not 100% sure it's an insanity related to being Dependable or Resourceful. Though if it is... hmm... this is another one where it could sink the theory by both of them being inversions, or he could be Incapable, and also unhelpfully Dependable with his constant repetition of his "I am Talenel'Elin, Herald of War" speech.

Just have theories

• Chana (brave/obedient): The popular theory is, of course, that she's Shallan's mother. If this turns out to be the case, perhaps her perversion is Obedience, unquestioningly listening to Nale when he says all Radiants need to be killed, even her own daughter. (Though that doesn't differ much from Nale listening to Ishar in the first place). And she might have been hiding away in Jah Kaved due to Cowardice. (I'm having a lot of self-doubt here, largely because I'd been misremembering her primary trait as "Guarding" and had to rethink her on the fly).
  
• Vedel (loving/healing): Another popular theory is that Vedel is Liss the assassin. Which, yeah, Killing would be a pretty straightforward inversion. As for perverting Loving, maybe there's some sort of "putting them out of their misery" self-rationalization involved?
  
• Pailiah (learned/giving): There's an old WoB that she was an ardent Shallan saw in the Palaneum, but then I heard that that it had been retracted, but then I searched Arcanum and I couldn't find the retraction, so... I dunno. If you have any better information, please share. It's too late at night for me to come up with theories based on Schrodinger's WoB.
  

Anyway, what do you guys think? Does this approach have merit, or am I stretching too much?