Stomach upset and itchy skin
Hyperthermia
2018.12.19 20:25 waitsforthenextshoe Hyperthermia
A sub for the discussion of hyperthermia in the treatment of inflammatory medical conditions, such as depression, psoriasis, and IBD
2010.10.24 20:37 jwegan Subreddit for Shiba Inu dogs
Subreddit for Shiba Inu dogs. Post your pictures, videos, questions, etc.
2023.11.24 15:23 akaWats0n catscookiepouch
Welcome to the primordial pouch appreciation community. The bit of skin that hangs down from our cat’s stomach is called a primordial pouch. They can be quite large and squishy. Please share your cats adorable pouches!!
2024.05.14 03:35 pouringpoetry I don’t know how to get better while living with my mom.
I (21F) became ill August of 2023. I still don’t have an official POTS diagnosis but everyone in my life, including my doctors, are 99% sure I have POTS.
I am currently living with my parents, and my mom is very convinced that she can find a way to cure me of my POTS. Here is my problem. She is telling me I need to cut sugar, gluten, carbs, trans fats, and a bunch of other stuff out of my diet, but I have never ever had any type of food trigger my symptoms. My only triggers are stress, my cycle, and exercise. When I am predisposed to one of those things, then anything I eat, even healthy, will result in an upset stomach and diarrhea. I also have an eating disorder, and my therapist wants me to focus on eating anything and not separating foods into bad or good, and my mom thinks that is utter bullshit. I am just wondering if I have to go on a diet to get better or not?
Another issue is that my mom thinks I’m not trying hard enough to get better and that I need to push myself more. I keep trying to communicate my boundaries but half the time she tells me I need exercise. I understand that exercise does help with POTS, but some days I literally cannot walk to my bathroom or even up and down the stairs. She also told me to stop taking naps, but they are literally one of the only things that help me. Some days I have no choice other than taking a nap because I know I will collapse out of sheer exhaustion if I don’t. My mom is pretty convinced that being outside and “grounding” will cure me, she even bought a bunch of grounding mats for under my desk and on my bed. I am obliging this and doing it because it doesn’t really hurt me to be outside for 15 minutes or have my bare feet on a mat. And if it helps, it helps.
I guess I just really don’t know what is going to work and what won’t. I am really frustrated and I feel like I try so hard every single day even though I barely do anything. I also have multiple other mental health issues and I am AuDHD. I stay hydrated, wear compression socks, have a shower chair, and am currently trying to get a mobility aid. I am worried about increasing my salt because the last time I had a really bad flare up, my blood pressure was 140/93 and I honestly don’t know what to do with that.
The last thing that really puts the cherry on top is that my boyfriend (19F) and I are wanting to get married within the next 2-4 years as he is a US Marine and we are deeply in love. My mom has told me countless times that she thinks it’s stupid for me to get married while I am sick because my boyfriend will eventually resent me. I want to get better for him, but I also need to be realistic here.
Any advice is much appreciated.
submitted by pouringpoetry to POTS [link] [comments]
I am currently living with my parents, and my mom is very convinced that she can find a way to cure me of my POTS. Here is my problem. She is telling me I need to cut sugar, gluten, carbs, trans fats, and a bunch of other stuff out of my diet, but I have never ever had any type of food trigger my symptoms. My only triggers are stress, my cycle, and exercise. When I am predisposed to one of those things, then anything I eat, even healthy, will result in an upset stomach and diarrhea. I also have an eating disorder, and my therapist wants me to focus on eating anything and not separating foods into bad or good, and my mom thinks that is utter bullshit. I am just wondering if I have to go on a diet to get better or not?
Another issue is that my mom thinks I’m not trying hard enough to get better and that I need to push myself more. I keep trying to communicate my boundaries but half the time she tells me I need exercise. I understand that exercise does help with POTS, but some days I literally cannot walk to my bathroom or even up and down the stairs. She also told me to stop taking naps, but they are literally one of the only things that help me. Some days I have no choice other than taking a nap because I know I will collapse out of sheer exhaustion if I don’t. My mom is pretty convinced that being outside and “grounding” will cure me, she even bought a bunch of grounding mats for under my desk and on my bed. I am obliging this and doing it because it doesn’t really hurt me to be outside for 15 minutes or have my bare feet on a mat. And if it helps, it helps.
I guess I just really don’t know what is going to work and what won’t. I am really frustrated and I feel like I try so hard every single day even though I barely do anything. I also have multiple other mental health issues and I am AuDHD. I stay hydrated, wear compression socks, have a shower chair, and am currently trying to get a mobility aid. I am worried about increasing my salt because the last time I had a really bad flare up, my blood pressure was 140/93 and I honestly don’t know what to do with that.
The last thing that really puts the cherry on top is that my boyfriend (19F) and I are wanting to get married within the next 2-4 years as he is a US Marine and we are deeply in love. My mom has told me countless times that she thinks it’s stupid for me to get married while I am sick because my boyfriend will eventually resent me. I want to get better for him, but I also need to be realistic here.
Any advice is much appreciated.
2024.05.14 03:28 shaneka69 CANCER ZODIAC GETS MYSTERIOUS SURPRISE
CANCER ZODIAC GETS MYSTERIOUS SURPRISE
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2024.05.14 03:20 Pppqqqeee You let me
You let me stay at your house last night. I slept on the floor, in the spare room. Laying still, silent, Collecting dust, Waiting for the day that I might be needed.
A trinket you picked up on holiday, A rusty toy car, a box of tissues, A grubby chess board missing a few pieces, but still with enough to play the game.
I knew the rules; eat, sleep, leave. Thank the host. And leave I did, though the dust followed, Clinging to my skin like an unwanted child, Burning like acid. Clawing at my eyes, face, stomach, Cutting into the darkness like the screech of a stray cat.
You let me stay at your house last night, And today, and tomorrow and all the tomorrows to come.
You let me. Stay.
submitted by Pppqqqeee to Dark_Poetry [link] [comments]
A trinket you picked up on holiday, A rusty toy car, a box of tissues, A grubby chess board missing a few pieces, but still with enough to play the game.
I knew the rules; eat, sleep, leave. Thank the host. And leave I did, though the dust followed, Clinging to my skin like an unwanted child, Burning like acid. Clawing at my eyes, face, stomach, Cutting into the darkness like the screech of a stray cat.
You let me stay at your house last night, And today, and tomorrow and all the tomorrows to come.
You let me. Stay.
2024.05.14 03:09 Chibiusa95 Is this abusive or is he just a jerk?
So I’ve been in this weird situationship with a guy for almost two years . At first we would spend a lot of time together 3-4 times a week . From the night until morning , to the point where I was only sleeping for half an hour and then going to work an 8 hour shift . Every time I would ask for us to go out on a date he would say we’ll see but if his friend want to do something he would be right there . Or he would hit me up super late a night to see if I wanted to go to his friends . ( basically be his Uber there). I would drive us around everywhere and sometimes let him drive. His friend almost a year later outed to me that he didn’t have a drivers license and I was very upset . I blocked him on everything and he called me almost 20 times and some how this was my fault and I was looking for information on him. Things just seem to be worse he always says things to hurt me / get under my skin. He crashed my brand new car during the last snowfall of the year and hasn’t been there at all. Blames the tires I had on it even though I drove it just fine . He will take hours to respond but if I take 20 mins he spam texts and accuses me of having someone else . Even though In the past I tried to ask what we were and he would say he needs time. I went on a date in the summer because technically I’m single . He found out and still throws it into my face anytime I call him out for something . I also found out he recorded me without my knowledge during an intimate time . This past weekend I asked him if he wanted to see. He always makes himself out to be the victim and doesn’t take accountability for anything . He’s very rude in public to random people and I get so embarrassed. He thinks he is the best at everything and his ego is really bad. I’m trying to paint a good enough picture but I would be rambling forever . Does this sound abusive or is he just a mean person ?
submitted by Chibiusa95 to abusiverelationships [link] [comments]
2024.05.14 03:09 CalyWitsune The Games That Scared Me Away
Long time lurker, first time redditoposter. I've been listening and reading a lot of these horror stories and figured it might be fun to share mine.
I haven't actually played a game of DnD or DnD adjacent since about 2020/2021, mostly because of what transpired during the games I actually did play before that. I love the concept, I love creating characters and stories and worlds, but I get a pit in my stomach when I actually try to play again.
I had my first opportunity to play DnD my freshman year of college. I dropped in on the campus tabletop club and I was quite anxious. I was the only girl in the room, everyone seemed to have known each other or clicked well, but I wanted to branch out of my comfort zone. The first night went well! We played a very quick heist one shot where we made a character with one flaw and one interesting trait. Through unfortunate rolls and circumstances, we had a TPK, but it was a fun time. I was invited afterwards to join a Pathfinder campaign that a few of the members were going to start up for the new semester, and so I scheduled a time to meet with the DM and create my first full fledged character.
Now, the DM was kind of eccentric, a little whack if you will but very excited to help me make my first character. I thought he was just goofy and really into the game. God I wish I picked up on all the red flags that would come.
He first asked me what kind of race I'd like to play as. I had always been drawn to tiefling characters because I liked the aesthetic. His eyes lit up at that for some reason. Then he asked what class I'd like; if I'd like to be primarily a support or tank or what have you. I didn't want to get overwhelmed in my first game and thought support might be nice. I could watch how combat worked while just keeping everyone going and buffed. I said let's try bard! The grin that crept up on his face...
He immediately started talking about how saucy that would be, how my character would be so flirty and fun. I expressed some discomfort in having my character immediately fall into the "h*rny bard" category I had seen meme'd on so much, but he laughed and waved it off by saying he "was a theater kid in high school! Everyone was super h*orny and making out backstage all the time. It just comes with the environment!" Being a new player, and wanting to fit in, I pushed down my discomfort and thought okay, I'll play her as a joke character I guess.
For awhile it was fine, I got to play her as a dancelyre player who was part of a traveling circus. Nothing weird was coming up the first few sessions. Most of the other PCs either joined together by taking quests from the town job board, or had ties built in to their backstory. My first red flag should have been that the DM, despite constantly raving about all his planning, was frequently skipping around the story. He would suddenly decide the plot point we were on wasn't interesting enough for some reason, and just throw us into another scenario. We left so many lose ends because he just didn't feel like finishing them, regardless of if we were engaging in it or not. But hey, he's the DM right? That's what I thought, he had the right to change it. I had no prior experience to see this was just bad DMing.
We ended up joining an archery competition as we were tempted by a mystery grand prize. At the sign up table, out of nowhere, the DMPC attending to registration suddenly starts flirting with my character. I got flustered in a negative way because this DM got very into character (giving me looks, leaning in as he spoke to me, the whole shebang). I panicked, all of a sudden being the focus of a room full of men seeing how I'd react to it. I again, stupidly, went along with it. I had her (nervously) flirt back lightly, and I was relieved it didn't go much further at that point. Skipping to the end of the archery competition, my bard ended up in the final two and sabotaged an assassination on the town's mayor mid competition. The party was invited to a celebratory dinner at the mayor's house afterwards, where we once again ran into the NPC that flirted with my character at registration. He invited her to bed, and again I got extremely uncomfortable and flustered. None of this was discussed beforehand, nor was I even asked if I was comfortable with such topics before joining the campaign. The guys at the table were egging me on, and I felt pressured to accept. With a few hoots and hollers, we had a fade to black scene (thank god). I went home feeling very icky, but convinced myself I was being a wimp. And the table had enjoyed my antics that night, so I should be grateful.
I had the thought between sessions to write in a childhood friends to lovers interest for my bard to try and avoid any more unexpected encounters like that again, thinking if the DM had another character to play as with some personal tie to my bard, that would make be feel better about the interactions. He was brought up once, where I milked the f*ck out of my character's attachment to him, hoping to drive home that this was juicy potential relationship to build over the campaign. He never came up again during that campaign. The DM also completely disregarded many of the notes I gave him detailing this love interest's personality, and took many 'creative liberties' with him, but not enough where I would decide to say something.
Another few sessions happened where we struggled through the DMs inconsistent storytelling and jumping around to whatever plot point had his interest at the moment. He was constantly putting us in fights we could not hope to win, way too challenging for our lvl. 1-3 party. We often sat around the table in disappointment and defeat as we got absolutely destroyed by monsters (no one being able to land hits for sometimes 3-4 rounds at a time because of how high the AC or CR was), while the DM laughed and basked in the dreary nature of the table. He would usually eventually fudge rolls to give us an out when we were close to TPKs. He even gave us a deck of many things and insisted our PCs "felt compelled" to pull cards despite the players disagreeing they that wanted to. He attempted to force my character to drastically change her alignment to an evil one for shits and giggles because of one card pull (later allowed me to ignore it because I didn't even WANT to use the deck), and got three of us killed by having them pull a card that summoned the highest CR monster you could use.
One night he texts the group chat that he decided he's done running that story, and wants to run another one shot instead. We had one last session to "close" that first campaign and discuss the one shot options. During our meeting, he gleefully admitted to me that he had planned for my bard to get PREGNANT in that one night stand with the NPC from the archery competition. Not only did he plan to do that without my consent or knowledge, he had planned for it to be a HAG baby that would have entirely f*cked my PC up (he explained it as the man having been a witch in disguise or something?? And said that's how hags are made? Which to my knowledge is entirely incorrect. Maybe it was a homebrew rule, but regardless, I was mortified. And now very grateful he lost interest in that campaign).
Moving on to the one shot, another player decided to try DMing, and so the Problem DM had a chance to be a PC, yay! He privately messaged me and asked if I'd be interested in connecting our characters and their backstories. I said yes and we got to work. We spent a few nights discussing their dynamic and I was really excited to go into this game. Well, come the night of the session, we were going around the table introducing our characters. The Problem DM went before me, and introduced an entirely different character than the one we discussed, and one that would often almost kill us during the one shot (to which the guy would cackle and mock us for getting upset each time). I asked him what happened to our plan, and he said earlier that day he decided he wanted to do something different. I sighed and let it go, because at least it was just a one shot and my character could still function without his connection to the other PC. Another one shot where the Problem DM got to be a PC, he seemed to make it his goal to be the biggest asshole to everyone else's character. My PC was an archaeologist, and when she excitedly discovered some old pottery in a dungeon, he had his PC run up and smash everything and laugh in her face.
The next campaign we tried that had issues was a Starfinder campaign. Our party was considered its own crew for a space ship, plus one DMPC that was placed into the mix supposedly to help us if we fell short, since we were all unfamiliar with Starfinder and spaceship battle mechanics. She was honestly a really cool character! And we had one or two sessions to establish the story and how the crew interacted. Now, this was my mistake, not taking any of the other creepy habits of the DM into consideration, but I offhandedly mentioned to the table at large that my PC (a woman) might be developing a crush on this DMPC (also a woman). They had gone through a lot together in-game at that point and it felt natural. The next session, you'll never guess, the DMPC started flirting hard core with my character. I was confused and asked the DM what that was about, as we had never had any interactions between those two that would be read as romantic. Even if I mentioned my character was crushing, she had never let it on, and the DMPC had never indicated she felt a similar pull as well. The DM didn't really have an explanation, just that apparently in-universe, the DMPC had been flirting more and more with my character since their last adventure together alone. I thought, okay, I guess...
Honestly? What transpired would have been an insanely cool plot twist if we had had the time to actually roleplay and develop the relationship between my character and the DMPC, as well as the crew at large and the DMPC. She ended up being part of a cult that wanted to steal an artifact we had acquired. She was apparently trying to 'romance' my PC because my PC was the one who often guarded the artifact, and needed her to let her guard down. It would have been a super impactful betrayal, but it was literally only a handful of sessions between the first meeting, and the plot twist. We just had to trust the DMs word that we had all gotten super attached to her between actual session meetings and we all should feel like we were stabbed in the back by this trusted individual. And I especially should feel heartbroken because she never really was interested in me anyway.
Later on down the line, despite some very interesting story points, it got creepy again. Our PCs ended up being sucked into a death game show, and isolated from the outside world while being broadcast to universal TV stations. At some point we were all given access to the internet after a few weeks in isolation to search up anything we wanted. Everyone searched up their names among other things. The DM described us finding our newly formed fanbases. He described the other PCs fanbases (men played by men) as having hot debates on their intelligence and decisions during the show, or bets on if they'd be the last ones standing; that sort of stuff. He described my fanbase as leering creeps saying the most unhinged things about what they wanted my PC to do to them s*xually, as well as some spreading photos of my PC without her face covering (she was a Kasatha, which canonically keep their mouths covered. But she had been forced to remove it briefly when it almost waterboarded her after she fell into a river).
Eventually, we weren't able to meet consistently enough to warrant running campaigns anymore, and I fell out of touch with all involved. Oh, we also lost a player at some point right after he confessed to me and I declined his interest.
I went another year not playing before another friend group of mine invited me to play as a guest character. I thought this would be a nice way to ease back into the game slowly after my horrid experiences before. Rather than make an entirely new character for one or two sessions, I brought back my tiefling bard because I still really liked her character, and had started to reshape her personality without being pressured to have her be a s*xual chess piece. The new DM dropped my character in a labyrinth their current party had been trapped in for awhile. I was made to be a level or two higher and be an ally they encountered to help them escape. We did, it was fun! But I was only there as a guest, and had only planned my character to be in one to two sessions before leaving. I was consistently mentioning to the party that my PC would be leaving as soon as they get to her major city, but either they didn't think I was serious or didn't remember. I may have been convinced to come on full time, but unfortunately, history repeats itself. We got to a session where the party got to a tavern and drowned their sorrows and nursed their labyrinth bruises with beer, and the idea of a threesome was thrown in the air between my PC and two others. Now, half of this group were dating someone else in the group, and seemed very comfortable roleplaying casual s*x between their PCs because of it. They started a damn chant pressuring me to say yes, already trying to roleplay it, and I felt sick. I was too anxious at the idea of saying no with how aggressive everyone was for me to agree, so I tried to "roll for yes or no" as an out; the dice failed me, and it rolled a number assigned to yes. I was very quiet the rest of the session, and afterwards messaged the DM that I want my character to leave at the beginning of the next session.
The DM then tried to convince me to stay, despite me saying a clear no multiple times within the same conversation. They begged me to stay saying the party loved my PC a lot, and they would hate to lose me. When they finally relented, they then tried to smoothly transition to talk of making me a new character so I could permanently stay with the party, without compromising my bards story and decision. I kind of got on their case about that, and told them to stop pressuring me and I did not want to play with that group anymore. Eventually, they gave up, but not without some low key guilt tripping.
I tried playing with one more group after this, and while it didn't get creepy, it was also a disappointment as none of the players seemed to care besides me and the DM, despite everyone having encouraged starting the game because they wanted to learn how to play for the first time. Players slowly started ghosting us, drama happened between two players that joined just to have an excuse to talk and try and date (which ended up very messy and they both left), and the new players would get angry at me or the DM if they got confused with the rules or combat dynamics (the wizard rushed ahead of me, the tank barbarian, and then acted like it was my fault when they nearly got killed in the first round because "the tank is supposed to protect the damage dealers").
The DM and I stayed in contact after all the other players ghosted the chat, and ended up bringing over some other new players who had also played before, and re hauled the campaign. This one had so much promise...then quarantine hit, and we couldn't keep up with regular meetings.
At this point, with all my games ending with creeps, messy player dynamics or falling through, I decided maybe these kinds of games weren't for me.
I have new friends now inviting me to play, who have very functional groups (experienced professional DMs, closeknit friend groups, long-running campaigns), but I am too wary to accept any more offers for games, despite deep down really wanting to try again and be part of something I know can be amazing. Maybe I will one day, but until then, I just have these horror stories to think about.
submitted by CalyWitsune to dndhorrorstories [link] [comments]
I haven't actually played a game of DnD or DnD adjacent since about 2020/2021, mostly because of what transpired during the games I actually did play before that. I love the concept, I love creating characters and stories and worlds, but I get a pit in my stomach when I actually try to play again.
I had my first opportunity to play DnD my freshman year of college. I dropped in on the campus tabletop club and I was quite anxious. I was the only girl in the room, everyone seemed to have known each other or clicked well, but I wanted to branch out of my comfort zone. The first night went well! We played a very quick heist one shot where we made a character with one flaw and one interesting trait. Through unfortunate rolls and circumstances, we had a TPK, but it was a fun time. I was invited afterwards to join a Pathfinder campaign that a few of the members were going to start up for the new semester, and so I scheduled a time to meet with the DM and create my first full fledged character.
Now, the DM was kind of eccentric, a little whack if you will but very excited to help me make my first character. I thought he was just goofy and really into the game. God I wish I picked up on all the red flags that would come.
He first asked me what kind of race I'd like to play as. I had always been drawn to tiefling characters because I liked the aesthetic. His eyes lit up at that for some reason. Then he asked what class I'd like; if I'd like to be primarily a support or tank or what have you. I didn't want to get overwhelmed in my first game and thought support might be nice. I could watch how combat worked while just keeping everyone going and buffed. I said let's try bard! The grin that crept up on his face...
He immediately started talking about how saucy that would be, how my character would be so flirty and fun. I expressed some discomfort in having my character immediately fall into the "h*rny bard" category I had seen meme'd on so much, but he laughed and waved it off by saying he "was a theater kid in high school! Everyone was super h*orny and making out backstage all the time. It just comes with the environment!" Being a new player, and wanting to fit in, I pushed down my discomfort and thought okay, I'll play her as a joke character I guess.
For awhile it was fine, I got to play her as a dancelyre player who was part of a traveling circus. Nothing weird was coming up the first few sessions. Most of the other PCs either joined together by taking quests from the town job board, or had ties built in to their backstory. My first red flag should have been that the DM, despite constantly raving about all his planning, was frequently skipping around the story. He would suddenly decide the plot point we were on wasn't interesting enough for some reason, and just throw us into another scenario. We left so many lose ends because he just didn't feel like finishing them, regardless of if we were engaging in it or not. But hey, he's the DM right? That's what I thought, he had the right to change it. I had no prior experience to see this was just bad DMing.
We ended up joining an archery competition as we were tempted by a mystery grand prize. At the sign up table, out of nowhere, the DMPC attending to registration suddenly starts flirting with my character. I got flustered in a negative way because this DM got very into character (giving me looks, leaning in as he spoke to me, the whole shebang). I panicked, all of a sudden being the focus of a room full of men seeing how I'd react to it. I again, stupidly, went along with it. I had her (nervously) flirt back lightly, and I was relieved it didn't go much further at that point. Skipping to the end of the archery competition, my bard ended up in the final two and sabotaged an assassination on the town's mayor mid competition. The party was invited to a celebratory dinner at the mayor's house afterwards, where we once again ran into the NPC that flirted with my character at registration. He invited her to bed, and again I got extremely uncomfortable and flustered. None of this was discussed beforehand, nor was I even asked if I was comfortable with such topics before joining the campaign. The guys at the table were egging me on, and I felt pressured to accept. With a few hoots and hollers, we had a fade to black scene (thank god). I went home feeling very icky, but convinced myself I was being a wimp. And the table had enjoyed my antics that night, so I should be grateful.
I had the thought between sessions to write in a childhood friends to lovers interest for my bard to try and avoid any more unexpected encounters like that again, thinking if the DM had another character to play as with some personal tie to my bard, that would make be feel better about the interactions. He was brought up once, where I milked the f*ck out of my character's attachment to him, hoping to drive home that this was juicy potential relationship to build over the campaign. He never came up again during that campaign. The DM also completely disregarded many of the notes I gave him detailing this love interest's personality, and took many 'creative liberties' with him, but not enough where I would decide to say something.
Another few sessions happened where we struggled through the DMs inconsistent storytelling and jumping around to whatever plot point had his interest at the moment. He was constantly putting us in fights we could not hope to win, way too challenging for our lvl. 1-3 party. We often sat around the table in disappointment and defeat as we got absolutely destroyed by monsters (no one being able to land hits for sometimes 3-4 rounds at a time because of how high the AC or CR was), while the DM laughed and basked in the dreary nature of the table. He would usually eventually fudge rolls to give us an out when we were close to TPKs. He even gave us a deck of many things and insisted our PCs "felt compelled" to pull cards despite the players disagreeing they that wanted to. He attempted to force my character to drastically change her alignment to an evil one for shits and giggles because of one card pull (later allowed me to ignore it because I didn't even WANT to use the deck), and got three of us killed by having them pull a card that summoned the highest CR monster you could use.
One night he texts the group chat that he decided he's done running that story, and wants to run another one shot instead. We had one last session to "close" that first campaign and discuss the one shot options. During our meeting, he gleefully admitted to me that he had planned for my bard to get PREGNANT in that one night stand with the NPC from the archery competition. Not only did he plan to do that without my consent or knowledge, he had planned for it to be a HAG baby that would have entirely f*cked my PC up (he explained it as the man having been a witch in disguise or something?? And said that's how hags are made? Which to my knowledge is entirely incorrect. Maybe it was a homebrew rule, but regardless, I was mortified. And now very grateful he lost interest in that campaign).
Moving on to the one shot, another player decided to try DMing, and so the Problem DM had a chance to be a PC, yay! He privately messaged me and asked if I'd be interested in connecting our characters and their backstories. I said yes and we got to work. We spent a few nights discussing their dynamic and I was really excited to go into this game. Well, come the night of the session, we were going around the table introducing our characters. The Problem DM went before me, and introduced an entirely different character than the one we discussed, and one that would often almost kill us during the one shot (to which the guy would cackle and mock us for getting upset each time). I asked him what happened to our plan, and he said earlier that day he decided he wanted to do something different. I sighed and let it go, because at least it was just a one shot and my character could still function without his connection to the other PC. Another one shot where the Problem DM got to be a PC, he seemed to make it his goal to be the biggest asshole to everyone else's character. My PC was an archaeologist, and when she excitedly discovered some old pottery in a dungeon, he had his PC run up and smash everything and laugh in her face.
The next campaign we tried that had issues was a Starfinder campaign. Our party was considered its own crew for a space ship, plus one DMPC that was placed into the mix supposedly to help us if we fell short, since we were all unfamiliar with Starfinder and spaceship battle mechanics. She was honestly a really cool character! And we had one or two sessions to establish the story and how the crew interacted. Now, this was my mistake, not taking any of the other creepy habits of the DM into consideration, but I offhandedly mentioned to the table at large that my PC (a woman) might be developing a crush on this DMPC (also a woman). They had gone through a lot together in-game at that point and it felt natural. The next session, you'll never guess, the DMPC started flirting hard core with my character. I was confused and asked the DM what that was about, as we had never had any interactions between those two that would be read as romantic. Even if I mentioned my character was crushing, she had never let it on, and the DMPC had never indicated she felt a similar pull as well. The DM didn't really have an explanation, just that apparently in-universe, the DMPC had been flirting more and more with my character since their last adventure together alone. I thought, okay, I guess...
Honestly? What transpired would have been an insanely cool plot twist if we had had the time to actually roleplay and develop the relationship between my character and the DMPC, as well as the crew at large and the DMPC. She ended up being part of a cult that wanted to steal an artifact we had acquired. She was apparently trying to 'romance' my PC because my PC was the one who often guarded the artifact, and needed her to let her guard down. It would have been a super impactful betrayal, but it was literally only a handful of sessions between the first meeting, and the plot twist. We just had to trust the DMs word that we had all gotten super attached to her between actual session meetings and we all should feel like we were stabbed in the back by this trusted individual. And I especially should feel heartbroken because she never really was interested in me anyway.
Later on down the line, despite some very interesting story points, it got creepy again. Our PCs ended up being sucked into a death game show, and isolated from the outside world while being broadcast to universal TV stations. At some point we were all given access to the internet after a few weeks in isolation to search up anything we wanted. Everyone searched up their names among other things. The DM described us finding our newly formed fanbases. He described the other PCs fanbases (men played by men) as having hot debates on their intelligence and decisions during the show, or bets on if they'd be the last ones standing; that sort of stuff. He described my fanbase as leering creeps saying the most unhinged things about what they wanted my PC to do to them s*xually, as well as some spreading photos of my PC without her face covering (she was a Kasatha, which canonically keep their mouths covered. But she had been forced to remove it briefly when it almost waterboarded her after she fell into a river).
Eventually, we weren't able to meet consistently enough to warrant running campaigns anymore, and I fell out of touch with all involved. Oh, we also lost a player at some point right after he confessed to me and I declined his interest.
I went another year not playing before another friend group of mine invited me to play as a guest character. I thought this would be a nice way to ease back into the game slowly after my horrid experiences before. Rather than make an entirely new character for one or two sessions, I brought back my tiefling bard because I still really liked her character, and had started to reshape her personality without being pressured to have her be a s*xual chess piece. The new DM dropped my character in a labyrinth their current party had been trapped in for awhile. I was made to be a level or two higher and be an ally they encountered to help them escape. We did, it was fun! But I was only there as a guest, and had only planned my character to be in one to two sessions before leaving. I was consistently mentioning to the party that my PC would be leaving as soon as they get to her major city, but either they didn't think I was serious or didn't remember. I may have been convinced to come on full time, but unfortunately, history repeats itself. We got to a session where the party got to a tavern and drowned their sorrows and nursed their labyrinth bruises with beer, and the idea of a threesome was thrown in the air between my PC and two others. Now, half of this group were dating someone else in the group, and seemed very comfortable roleplaying casual s*x between their PCs because of it. They started a damn chant pressuring me to say yes, already trying to roleplay it, and I felt sick. I was too anxious at the idea of saying no with how aggressive everyone was for me to agree, so I tried to "roll for yes or no" as an out; the dice failed me, and it rolled a number assigned to yes. I was very quiet the rest of the session, and afterwards messaged the DM that I want my character to leave at the beginning of the next session.
The DM then tried to convince me to stay, despite me saying a clear no multiple times within the same conversation. They begged me to stay saying the party loved my PC a lot, and they would hate to lose me. When they finally relented, they then tried to smoothly transition to talk of making me a new character so I could permanently stay with the party, without compromising my bards story and decision. I kind of got on their case about that, and told them to stop pressuring me and I did not want to play with that group anymore. Eventually, they gave up, but not without some low key guilt tripping.
I tried playing with one more group after this, and while it didn't get creepy, it was also a disappointment as none of the players seemed to care besides me and the DM, despite everyone having encouraged starting the game because they wanted to learn how to play for the first time. Players slowly started ghosting us, drama happened between two players that joined just to have an excuse to talk and try and date (which ended up very messy and they both left), and the new players would get angry at me or the DM if they got confused with the rules or combat dynamics (the wizard rushed ahead of me, the tank barbarian, and then acted like it was my fault when they nearly got killed in the first round because "the tank is supposed to protect the damage dealers").
The DM and I stayed in contact after all the other players ghosted the chat, and ended up bringing over some other new players who had also played before, and re hauled the campaign. This one had so much promise...then quarantine hit, and we couldn't keep up with regular meetings.
At this point, with all my games ending with creeps, messy player dynamics or falling through, I decided maybe these kinds of games weren't for me.
I have new friends now inviting me to play, who have very functional groups (experienced professional DMs, closeknit friend groups, long-running campaigns), but I am too wary to accept any more offers for games, despite deep down really wanting to try again and be part of something I know can be amazing. Maybe I will one day, but until then, I just have these horror stories to think about.
2024.05.14 03:08 sinistervice 3 weeks post op, itchy lumps forming around my torso?
3 weeks post and have 2 itchy lumps, one right under my nipple and the other to my right of my rib under the skin. Does anyone know if this is normal?
submitted by sinistervice to gynecomastia [link] [comments]
2024.05.14 02:53 shaneka69 CANCER ZODIAC - UNEXPECTED INCOME! TAROT READING MAY 2024
CANCER ZODIAC TAROT READING - UNEXPECTED INCOME MAY 2024
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2024.05.14 02:50 cominguprosessss Eating/planning meals causes me a lot of stress
Hi all!
As someone with ADHD I have always had issues with planning and cooking food. I order out a lot because it’s the easiest and least stressful for my brain. But, my gut health is seriously seriously compromised. I am tired all the time, always have an upset stomach, etc.
Between forgetting to eat (thanks stimulants) and then actually eating (but not with healthy intentions) I just feel fking awful. Stimulants have also given me an ulcer i’m pretty sure. I know I need more fiber for sure. I honestly feel like I need to cleanse my gut or something, it’s bad.
All this to say, I don’t know how to cook for myself, I guess lol. I don’t like cooking much either.
Does anyone have any advice? The thought of grocery shopping or making myself a meal sometimes makes me want to cry because I’m already over hungry and don’t know what to make for myself.
submitted by cominguprosessss to ADHD [link] [comments]
As someone with ADHD I have always had issues with planning and cooking food. I order out a lot because it’s the easiest and least stressful for my brain. But, my gut health is seriously seriously compromised. I am tired all the time, always have an upset stomach, etc.
Between forgetting to eat (thanks stimulants) and then actually eating (but not with healthy intentions) I just feel fking awful. Stimulants have also given me an ulcer i’m pretty sure. I know I need more fiber for sure. I honestly feel like I need to cleanse my gut or something, it’s bad.
All this to say, I don’t know how to cook for myself, I guess lol. I don’t like cooking much either.
Does anyone have any advice? The thought of grocery shopping or making myself a meal sometimes makes me want to cry because I’m already over hungry and don’t know what to make for myself.
2024.05.14 02:48 Winter_Journalist_23 My life is ruined.
I'm literally tired of this disease (and yes I'm calling it a disease) and what it's done to my mental being. For the past 2 years, I've had my symptoms under control for the most part. But all of a sudden out of nowhere I've had a flareup that hasn't gone away for an entire week and nothing I'm doing is helping. I can't digest anything besides liquid right now. I'm absolutely terrified to go see my doctor. For one, I'm either never taken seriously and told it's just anxiety, or I get put on medications that do literally nothing to help. I have severe health anxiety and a low pain tolerance and if I'm being honest, invasive tests like colonoscopies or endoscopies scare the living shit out of me. I'm almost 100% sure I have SIBO, I fit every single symptom to the tee. But good luck getting the appropriate tests for it because that's never the first thing your doctor suspects. If I go in complaining about a major change in my bowel habits and abdominal pain, they're just going to order me a colonoscopy which won't even catch SIBO. So I'll be stuck with "oh, everything came out clear" with no answers and no solutions. I'm scared to death of getting a test done just to have no answers or no fix to this problem. I'd be willing to get over my stupid fear of medical tests if I knew for sure it would fix the issue. At this point, I feel better if I just don't eat at all. That's the only time I don't feel any symptoms. I'm tired of not even being able to drink a fruit smoothie or a cup of yogurt without either my entire digestive tract being liquefied or most commonly in my case since I have primarily IBS-C, having a brick in my intestines that I now can't pass. I'm tired of the nausea and reflux no matter what I eat. At this point,I'm considering just not eating for a few days but I know I can't do that. I eat the healthiest diet in the world, the Mediterranean diet.I only eat lean meat like chicken, fish, and turkey for protein as well as cheese and yogurt. I eat multiple serving of fruits, vegetables, and whole grains. I take daily probiotics. I drink GALLONS of water a day. For the past 2 years, I haven't had a flare up that lasted more than a day. I have no idea what caused the flare up I'm currently in. And being stressed and upset about that is making the flare up even worse. I'm at a complete loss of what to do. I know the right thing to do is go to my doctor which I'm going to have to do soon if this dosen't clear up. But the issue is what I'm even going to tell my doctor to be taken seriously. This isnt the first time I've been to her with stomach issues. I dont want to go and get a bunch of unnecessary tests done that I'm terrified to get to begin with that all come back "clear" with still no solution. My quality of life at this point is at the point where I hope for assisted suicide someday. I'm in therapy for my anxiety, but it's not doing anything for my IBS attacks. I haven't done a single thing differently on my diet in the past week. I'm only thinking SIBO because I fit every single symptom of it and my probiotic use. I don't know if probiotics cause it, but I wouldn't be surprised with the amount I take every day. I'm talking possibly trillions of CFU in my system. It was the only thing that was keeping me regular and that I thought was helping. My regular high fiber diet that I'm on right now to specifically keep my IBS-C in control is now exacerbating the issue if it is indeed SIBO. I'm at my wit's end. Anyway, thank you for reading if you got this far. I just wanted to rant to people who understand. The majority of people in my life don't understand the constant agony I'm in.
submitted by Winter_Journalist_23 to ibs [link] [comments]
2024.05.14 02:29 Ok_Coconut_2560 Noodles
My family has always been of great minds. I hated it. Growing up and having to study day and night to try and live up to them was extremely exhausting when I couldn't care how things worked as long as I was happy. I gave up but somehow everything kept turning out to be true.
Over my lifetime I have become the Gorden Ramsey of the science world. Known for my temper and also for huge things like curing world hunger using play-doe and cancer with baby powder I got in a back street ally while drunk.
To get my family off my back I started making random ideas so they could see me as a failure and leave me alone but...they keep working. And soon people started to praise me. Fame has left me with nothing but more and more attention. So today I plan to make sure that everyone can just think I'm insane and leave me alone and not some king.
I chuckled like a kid who was opening a Christmas present as I heard the crowd of people chatting and talking loudly as I hid behind my stage in a grey tight suit that my sister had picked out. I sighed and was ready to walk out and make a fool out of myself but my brother stopped me.
" Jack... I just want you to know how proud I am of you. Dad would have loved to see you right now. "
I thought it was ironic because last night while chilling on the couch watching TV and eating chips I made this theory up. He dusted off my shoulders held them tight and looked me in the eyes taking in the moment.
" go give them hell man. "
He had a goofy smile just like Dad but spoke with confidence.
" you got it, man. "
I heard my name being called onto the stage and the uproar startled me for a second but I collected myself and headed out after giving him a nod just to entertain him.
The lights were blinding as I grabbed the mic and looked at the table in front of me with a small box with the ingredients I needed and a chalkboard behind me.
After I stood still for a minute the crowd died down. I had not told anyone what I was presenting so the whole world was watching without a clue of what I was doing this time.
"Hello everyone. Today I believe I have my most important presentation yet..."
The crowd grew silent and hung on every word. And I heard my voice around the room through the speakers.
" Today I have with me a box...and inside is spaghetti I had for breakfast. "
The crowd laughed thinking it was a joke
" shut up "
The crowd grew silent once more
"Behind me is a chalkboard and I will now present my new findings to all of you...I have found out how to make portals to other worlds. "
A man in the far back of the audience yelled bullshit in a heavy Indian accent but he was so far it was a faint sound for me. I smiled at that thinking I had finally found something that would make me lose my title and I could go ahead and live a life without people making me feel like an evil man for not helping others.
I opened the box got a handful of the noodles and threw them at the chalkboard. I then grabbed a paper towel on standby to clean myself.
The noodles hit the board and slowly moved and rested on a spot on the board. I made eye contact with my brother backstage and he had a look on his face showing he believed in me.
I spun the board dropping the noodles to the ground I then grabbed the chalk and drew around the sauce and noodles that stuck to the board then drew my attention to the others that had fallen on the floor and drew an outline of that.
After it finished I threw the chalk in the crowd violently hitting an old lady in the face.
" Quickly I want a show of hands who thinks I'm a crazy guy "
Everyone raised their hands and I laughed to myself
I then went behind the board and laid it horizontally. I grabbed a small knife in my pocket and poked my finger with it. The crimson blood fell and hit the chalk and then as more and more blood hit the chalk it started glowing.
" you have got to be joking. "
I said out loud as it started to spark an orange glow and it slowly grew color to the rest of the chalk in orange sparks.
Once the symbol was fully sparking with orange the sauce began to swell and move around in a counterclockwise manner. I stepped away from it in shock as small parts of the blood in my finger began to float to the parts where it fell on the floor I drew my outlines on and started sparking those as well.
It started to smoke and hiss as if lightning could whisper and the orange began to take shape and the sauce made a doorway. The parts that were not on the board began to grow ice around them and started to make designs on the floor circling me and the board. Suddenly it grew in size and a large booming voice was heard through the portal as I felt panic of people start to set in.
A huge claw came out and scrapped the sides of my table trying to crawl out from the world it had been trapped in. Cold winds hit me as they cut my skin and threw around my clothes. As I saw the table was now melting from its touch.
A slimy green claw with mucus like a face-hugger egg from the movie Alien carved through the floor and pulled the rest of its body out slowly. A beast stood at 12 feet tall adjusting to our world as goop grew and shaped its body as people screamed, ran, and stood frozen in fear.
As it looked around it locked its spider-like eyes and swerled around coming out from the portal and twisting and turning around the body as it made its way to its head finding a place to rest. It then locked its eyes with me and its jaw twisted slowly from an ant-like maw to mine and slowly shrunk and it soon took the shape of me and knelt on the floor and spoke to me.
" master. "
I stood in shock as everyone seemed to calm down and watched to see what I would do.
"...umm "My family has always been of great minds. I hated it. Growing up and having to study day and night to try and live up to them was extremely exhausting when I couldn't care how things worked as long as I was happy. I gave up but somehow everything kept turning out to be true.
Over my lifetime I have become the Gorden Ramsey of the science world. Known for my temper and also for huge things like curing world hunger using play-doe and cancer with baby powder I got in a back street ally while drunk.
To get my family off my back I started making random ideas so they could see me as a failure and leave me alone but...they keep working. And soon people started to praise me. Fame has left me with nothing but more and more attention. So today I plan to make sure that everyone can just think I'm insane and leave me alone and not some king.
I chuckled like a kid who was opening a Christmas present as I heard the crowd of people chatting and talking loudly as I hid behind my stage in a grey tight suit that my sister had picked out. I sighed and was ready to walk out and make a fool out of myself but my brother stopped me.
" Jack... I just want you to know how proud I am of you. Dad would have loved to see you right now. "
I thought it was ironic because last night while chilling on the couch watching TV and eating chips I made this theory up. He dusted off my shoulders held them tight and looked me in the eyes taking in the moment.
" go give them hell man. "
He had a goofy smile just like Dad but spoke with confidence.
" you got it, man. "
I heard my name being called onto the stage and the uproar startled me for a second but I collected myself and headed out after giving him a nod just to entertain him.
The lights were blinding as I grabbed the mic and looked at the table in front of me with a small box with the ingredients I needed and a chalkboard behind me.
After I stood still for a minute the crowd died down. I had not told anyone what I was presenting so the whole world was watching without a clue of what I was doing this time.
"Hello everyone. Today I believe I have my most important presentation yet..."
The crowd grew silent and hung on every word. And I heard my voice around the room through the speakers.
" Today I have with me a box...and inside is spaghetti I had breakfast. "
The crowd laughed thinking it was a joke
" shut up "
The crowd grew silent once more
"Behind me is a chalkboard and I will now present my new findings to all of you...I have found out how to make portals to other worlds. "
A man in the far back of the audience yelled bullshit in a heavy Indian accent but he was so far it was a faint sound for me. I smiled at that thinking I had finally found something that would make me lose my title and I could go ahead and live a life without people making me feel like an evil man for not helping others.
I opened the box got a handful of the noodles and threw them at the chalkboard. I then grabbed a paper towel on standby to clean myself.
The noodles hit the board and slowly moved and rested on a spot on the board. I made eye contact with my brother backstage and he had a look on his face showing he believed in me.
I spun the board dropping the noodles to the ground I then grabbed the chalk and drew around the sauce and noodles that stuck to the board then drew my attention to the others that had fallen on the floor and drew an outline of that.
After it finished I threw the chalk in the crowd violently hitting an old lady in the face.
" Quickly I want a show of hands who thinks I'm a crazy guy "
Everyone raised their hands and I laughed to myself
I then went behind the board and laid it horizontally. I grabbed a small knife in my pocket and poked my finger with it. The crimson blood fell and hit the chalk and then as more and more blood hit the chalk it started glowing.
" you have got to be joking. "
I said out loud as it started to spark an orange glow and it slowly grew color to the rest of the chalk in orange sparks.
Once the symbol was fully sparking with orange the sauce began to swell and move around in a counterclockwise manner. I stepped away from it in shock as small parts of the blood in my finger began to float to the parts where it fell on the floor I drew my outlines on and started sparking those as well.
It started to smoke and hiss as if lightning could whisper and the orange began to take shape and the sauce made a doorway. The parts that were not on the board began to grow ice around them and started to make designs on the floor circling me and the board. Suddenly it grew in size and a large booming voice was heard through the portal as I felt panic of people start to set in.
A huge claw came out and scrapped the sides of my table trying to crawl out from the world it had been trapped in. Cold winds hit me as they cut my skin and threw around my clothes. As I saw the table was now melting from its touch.
A slimy green claw with mucus like a face-hugger egg from the movie Alien carved through the floor and pulled the rest of its body out slowly. A beast stood at 12 feet tall adjusting to our world as goop grew and shaped its body as people screamed, ran, and stood frozen in fear.
As it looked around it locked its spider-like eyes and swerled around coming out from the portal and twisting and turning around the body as it made its way to its head finding a place to rest. It then locked its eyes with me and its jaw twisted slowly from an ant-like maw to mine and slowly shrunk and it soon took the shape of me and knelt on the floor and spoke to me.
" master. "
I stood in shock as everyone seemed to calm down and watched to see what I would do.
Now that this creature knelt before me I realized that the room I was in was so terrible quietly you could hear everyone's ass get tight in anticipation of what would happen next.
" ...what...are you. "
I spoke carefully to the being that had taken the shape of myself. It still took my breath away and my throat was dry.
The beast was a deep green. The color mixed with shades of grey streaming from it. The longer I looked at it I could see it getting closer to what I looked like shaping itself.
From small flowing green tendrils to an arm they grew as they twisted and made bone then muscle and finally skin.
It locked eyes with me and it smiled deeply at me. As it formed the face finally.
" Your vassle. "
My eyes had not moved to the crowd at all but even though the lights hit the stage so hard it was enveloped in smoke.
The creature's eyes glowed as it answered brightly, not figuratively. This thing's eyes were glowing.
"To serve you, We are bound by blood magic. I am a reflection of your desires, Master, " it said, its voice now a whisper in my mind.
It began to stand up as my grey suit began to form on it and by the time it stood fully up it had copied what I looked like.
" let me explain everything. "
My body frozen in fear woke up with adrenaline as I blinked and a flash of green smoke covered my vision as he teleported right to me face to face.
Its body turned to smoke and went into the slits of my eyes. I felt visions follow me in my peripheral vision but surprisingly no pain followed power filled me and it felt like one hell of a drug.
My body and mind altered.
I was now in a very dark place with no walls or light except my reflection on the floor which waved like water.
I took a step back looking around and back to the reflection of me on the ground.
Soon the water rippled and my reflection fell through the floor like gravity was inverted. he flew upright and water fell off of him as he looked at me as he now stood straight ahead of me. He was just reflecting in the water but now eyed me down.
Collecting my nerves.
I begin to speak.
" what do you want..."
He was still in my form and stood perfectly straight. Now with water dripping from his...my hair.
Slight stubble with hair that hung down and my hazel eyes were not present within him but I was greeted with a swelling acidic green that doubled the size of my pupil.
" to serve you. "
He made no other movement than putting his hands behind his back like a soldier at ease.
I could not tell if it was lying or not.
" ...is that it? "
" I am the embodiment of your fear desires and brilliance. You have shaped me. Your desire for solitude birthed me. I will aid you in shaping the world how you see fit. Your reality becomes mine. "
There was a slight echo in the room as he spoke.
" wait...where are we "
I questioned haphazardly
" your mind. "
An awkward silence was in the air until I spoke
" so...am I just standing on the stage not making a sound? "
He gave me a concerned look.
" no...time has frozen outside for you. You may sleep here without having to in the real world so to others you look as if you never rest and you may think and plan what to do in battle here. For them, it will be about two seconds...Do...do you not have any knowledge of what I am? "
Suddenly I felt bad like I had encountered someone famous and I had no idea who they were. A slap in the face like a popular kid meeting someone who had never heard of them. Ego shattered.
" ok sorry no. I...don't go around reading about...monsters?"
I felt like was I saying the n-word of the demon realm not knowing if that word was offensive.
He folded his arms a little upset.
"Are you not a warrior? "
" well...no I...just watch TV and cook here and there- "
The demon cut me off
" weak. "
" excuse me? "
" look. I am an immortal being and after a while you get bored. So I'm sorry if I may be a little upset after being bonded with some nobody. "
I got quiet and I was a little annoyed that I was being roasted by some demon that I just met.
Its form wavers and eyes begin to open on its skin. Cheeks forhead etc.
"After being a god for so long it's fun to play with limitations. Makes things extremely exciting. "
" what do you mean by that? "
" look. You can only be so entertained by the same things. Life gets boring and now...you are going to help me with this. I get to have pure entertainment while you get every wish you could ever want. A mutual bond no? "
He then closed his eyes annoyed and the other eyes meshed back to his skin.
" though... the TV is not that interesting...life is what gets the blood pumping"
I felt the need to quickly change the topic
"Are there others like you? "
The room began to take shape very slowly as the water floor turned to wood and walls went around us.
" of course. You may meet them one day "
Confused and curious I pressed.
"Meet them? "
" yes. Summoning one of us is considered a threat to them. "
He spoke while opening and closing his newly found hand except backward.
" hm...no that don't look right "
I quickly responded
" Wait! How is doing that a threat! "
"Well, one doesn't just accidentally Summon one of us to suddenly get powers beyond human control. "
I thought back to how I summoned him by accident with some food I made.
" well...funny story but I summoned you using my breakfast..."
I had never regretted speaking so much as in that moment.
" What... "
Acid dripped from his words. Literally. His pupils split in half and his bottom jaw ripped open like an ant and curved giving sharpness to the bone.
"Please don't kill me. "
The room began to look like a cozy cabin with a fireplace and he slowly went back to normal.
" I would if I could. I've never felt so disrespected. We are bonded by your blood. If you die...I die. "
Suddenly I felt at ease by this new information.
Then a thought came to my mind
" ...God's can die? "
" you did hear me, right? "
The SAS from this guy was unneeded and I was starting to miss him being on his knees as weird as that sounds.
" so...all that power gone.... in an instant... "
" well...no actually God's powers don't just disappear they transfer to whoever killed them...wait...hold up."
He suddenly had an epiphany.
A smile grew on his face and he grabbed my shoulders
" you! You are going to help me kill the other gods! "
He sounded proud but I let him down.
" ha! No. "
" oh come on! Don't be like that. "
He did a pout.
"Look, man. I'm not killing gods for you. Just because you are bored. "
" hey...they might send people to kill you because you bonded with me. "
"What did I ever do to them? "
"They have a system to this stuff. They like to build and watch things play out. You're a problem. That can mess it up. So...they kill ya...to be honest, I don't know any other way to explain it, man. You know people normally just use my power to kill people and become a king and know this already. "
"This is outrageous. "
" bro. Look if you do this I will be able to get their powers and you will be able to do so much more than what I offer "
I tilted my head
" what can you do? Know what never mind. I will just talk to them and figure things out. "
He groaned and his form melted down sagging and it shot back up reforming
"Is there not anything that you want? Anything in the world? Gods don't put themselves in physical forms. They give people power and can make beings to hunt you. And if they care enough to come down themself. Ha, good luck."
I stopped and thought about it trying to weigh the options of pissing off higher beings.
Suddenly. I found something.
"Can you bring back the dead..."
He stopped confused.
" well...no "
" then I don't want anything "
" wait! "
He threw his arms out pleading
"I don't...but another God does..."
He crosses his arms smiling. He had left the question hanging letting me reconsider his offer.
I stopped and thought for a while before looking back up to him.
I let out a sigh and looked him in the eyes
" ok...you are going to help me get my father back. "
The demon smirked.
submitted by Ok_Coconut_2560 to dontmindthis9 [link] [comments]
Over my lifetime I have become the Gorden Ramsey of the science world. Known for my temper and also for huge things like curing world hunger using play-doe and cancer with baby powder I got in a back street ally while drunk.
To get my family off my back I started making random ideas so they could see me as a failure and leave me alone but...they keep working. And soon people started to praise me. Fame has left me with nothing but more and more attention. So today I plan to make sure that everyone can just think I'm insane and leave me alone and not some king.
I chuckled like a kid who was opening a Christmas present as I heard the crowd of people chatting and talking loudly as I hid behind my stage in a grey tight suit that my sister had picked out. I sighed and was ready to walk out and make a fool out of myself but my brother stopped me.
" Jack... I just want you to know how proud I am of you. Dad would have loved to see you right now. "
I thought it was ironic because last night while chilling on the couch watching TV and eating chips I made this theory up. He dusted off my shoulders held them tight and looked me in the eyes taking in the moment.
" go give them hell man. "
He had a goofy smile just like Dad but spoke with confidence.
" you got it, man. "
I heard my name being called onto the stage and the uproar startled me for a second but I collected myself and headed out after giving him a nod just to entertain him.
The lights were blinding as I grabbed the mic and looked at the table in front of me with a small box with the ingredients I needed and a chalkboard behind me.
After I stood still for a minute the crowd died down. I had not told anyone what I was presenting so the whole world was watching without a clue of what I was doing this time.
"Hello everyone. Today I believe I have my most important presentation yet..."
The crowd grew silent and hung on every word. And I heard my voice around the room through the speakers.
" Today I have with me a box...and inside is spaghetti I had for breakfast. "
The crowd laughed thinking it was a joke
" shut up "
The crowd grew silent once more
"Behind me is a chalkboard and I will now present my new findings to all of you...I have found out how to make portals to other worlds. "
A man in the far back of the audience yelled bullshit in a heavy Indian accent but he was so far it was a faint sound for me. I smiled at that thinking I had finally found something that would make me lose my title and I could go ahead and live a life without people making me feel like an evil man for not helping others.
I opened the box got a handful of the noodles and threw them at the chalkboard. I then grabbed a paper towel on standby to clean myself.
The noodles hit the board and slowly moved and rested on a spot on the board. I made eye contact with my brother backstage and he had a look on his face showing he believed in me.
I spun the board dropping the noodles to the ground I then grabbed the chalk and drew around the sauce and noodles that stuck to the board then drew my attention to the others that had fallen on the floor and drew an outline of that.
After it finished I threw the chalk in the crowd violently hitting an old lady in the face.
" Quickly I want a show of hands who thinks I'm a crazy guy "
Everyone raised their hands and I laughed to myself
I then went behind the board and laid it horizontally. I grabbed a small knife in my pocket and poked my finger with it. The crimson blood fell and hit the chalk and then as more and more blood hit the chalk it started glowing.
" you have got to be joking. "
I said out loud as it started to spark an orange glow and it slowly grew color to the rest of the chalk in orange sparks.
Once the symbol was fully sparking with orange the sauce began to swell and move around in a counterclockwise manner. I stepped away from it in shock as small parts of the blood in my finger began to float to the parts where it fell on the floor I drew my outlines on and started sparking those as well.
It started to smoke and hiss as if lightning could whisper and the orange began to take shape and the sauce made a doorway. The parts that were not on the board began to grow ice around them and started to make designs on the floor circling me and the board. Suddenly it grew in size and a large booming voice was heard through the portal as I felt panic of people start to set in.
A huge claw came out and scrapped the sides of my table trying to crawl out from the world it had been trapped in. Cold winds hit me as they cut my skin and threw around my clothes. As I saw the table was now melting from its touch.
A slimy green claw with mucus like a face-hugger egg from the movie Alien carved through the floor and pulled the rest of its body out slowly. A beast stood at 12 feet tall adjusting to our world as goop grew and shaped its body as people screamed, ran, and stood frozen in fear.
As it looked around it locked its spider-like eyes and swerled around coming out from the portal and twisting and turning around the body as it made its way to its head finding a place to rest. It then locked its eyes with me and its jaw twisted slowly from an ant-like maw to mine and slowly shrunk and it soon took the shape of me and knelt on the floor and spoke to me.
" master. "
I stood in shock as everyone seemed to calm down and watched to see what I would do.
"...umm "My family has always been of great minds. I hated it. Growing up and having to study day and night to try and live up to them was extremely exhausting when I couldn't care how things worked as long as I was happy. I gave up but somehow everything kept turning out to be true.
Over my lifetime I have become the Gorden Ramsey of the science world. Known for my temper and also for huge things like curing world hunger using play-doe and cancer with baby powder I got in a back street ally while drunk.
To get my family off my back I started making random ideas so they could see me as a failure and leave me alone but...they keep working. And soon people started to praise me. Fame has left me with nothing but more and more attention. So today I plan to make sure that everyone can just think I'm insane and leave me alone and not some king.
I chuckled like a kid who was opening a Christmas present as I heard the crowd of people chatting and talking loudly as I hid behind my stage in a grey tight suit that my sister had picked out. I sighed and was ready to walk out and make a fool out of myself but my brother stopped me.
" Jack... I just want you to know how proud I am of you. Dad would have loved to see you right now. "
I thought it was ironic because last night while chilling on the couch watching TV and eating chips I made this theory up. He dusted off my shoulders held them tight and looked me in the eyes taking in the moment.
" go give them hell man. "
He had a goofy smile just like Dad but spoke with confidence.
" you got it, man. "
I heard my name being called onto the stage and the uproar startled me for a second but I collected myself and headed out after giving him a nod just to entertain him.
The lights were blinding as I grabbed the mic and looked at the table in front of me with a small box with the ingredients I needed and a chalkboard behind me.
After I stood still for a minute the crowd died down. I had not told anyone what I was presenting so the whole world was watching without a clue of what I was doing this time.
"Hello everyone. Today I believe I have my most important presentation yet..."
The crowd grew silent and hung on every word. And I heard my voice around the room through the speakers.
" Today I have with me a box...and inside is spaghetti I had breakfast. "
The crowd laughed thinking it was a joke
" shut up "
The crowd grew silent once more
"Behind me is a chalkboard and I will now present my new findings to all of you...I have found out how to make portals to other worlds. "
A man in the far back of the audience yelled bullshit in a heavy Indian accent but he was so far it was a faint sound for me. I smiled at that thinking I had finally found something that would make me lose my title and I could go ahead and live a life without people making me feel like an evil man for not helping others.
I opened the box got a handful of the noodles and threw them at the chalkboard. I then grabbed a paper towel on standby to clean myself.
The noodles hit the board and slowly moved and rested on a spot on the board. I made eye contact with my brother backstage and he had a look on his face showing he believed in me.
I spun the board dropping the noodles to the ground I then grabbed the chalk and drew around the sauce and noodles that stuck to the board then drew my attention to the others that had fallen on the floor and drew an outline of that.
After it finished I threw the chalk in the crowd violently hitting an old lady in the face.
" Quickly I want a show of hands who thinks I'm a crazy guy "
Everyone raised their hands and I laughed to myself
I then went behind the board and laid it horizontally. I grabbed a small knife in my pocket and poked my finger with it. The crimson blood fell and hit the chalk and then as more and more blood hit the chalk it started glowing.
" you have got to be joking. "
I said out loud as it started to spark an orange glow and it slowly grew color to the rest of the chalk in orange sparks.
Once the symbol was fully sparking with orange the sauce began to swell and move around in a counterclockwise manner. I stepped away from it in shock as small parts of the blood in my finger began to float to the parts where it fell on the floor I drew my outlines on and started sparking those as well.
It started to smoke and hiss as if lightning could whisper and the orange began to take shape and the sauce made a doorway. The parts that were not on the board began to grow ice around them and started to make designs on the floor circling me and the board. Suddenly it grew in size and a large booming voice was heard through the portal as I felt panic of people start to set in.
A huge claw came out and scrapped the sides of my table trying to crawl out from the world it had been trapped in. Cold winds hit me as they cut my skin and threw around my clothes. As I saw the table was now melting from its touch.
A slimy green claw with mucus like a face-hugger egg from the movie Alien carved through the floor and pulled the rest of its body out slowly. A beast stood at 12 feet tall adjusting to our world as goop grew and shaped its body as people screamed, ran, and stood frozen in fear.
As it looked around it locked its spider-like eyes and swerled around coming out from the portal and twisting and turning around the body as it made its way to its head finding a place to rest. It then locked its eyes with me and its jaw twisted slowly from an ant-like maw to mine and slowly shrunk and it soon took the shape of me and knelt on the floor and spoke to me.
" master. "
I stood in shock as everyone seemed to calm down and watched to see what I would do.
"...umm "
Part two of the noodle demon.Now that this creature knelt before me I realized that the room I was in was so terrible quietly you could hear everyone's ass get tight in anticipation of what would happen next.
" ...what...are you. "
I spoke carefully to the being that had taken the shape of myself. It still took my breath away and my throat was dry.
The beast was a deep green. The color mixed with shades of grey streaming from it. The longer I looked at it I could see it getting closer to what I looked like shaping itself.
From small flowing green tendrils to an arm they grew as they twisted and made bone then muscle and finally skin.
It locked eyes with me and it smiled deeply at me. As it formed the face finally.
" Your vassle. "
My eyes had not moved to the crowd at all but even though the lights hit the stage so hard it was enveloped in smoke.
The creature's eyes glowed as it answered brightly, not figuratively. This thing's eyes were glowing.
"To serve you, We are bound by blood magic. I am a reflection of your desires, Master, " it said, its voice now a whisper in my mind.
It began to stand up as my grey suit began to form on it and by the time it stood fully up it had copied what I looked like.
" let me explain everything. "
My body frozen in fear woke up with adrenaline as I blinked and a flash of green smoke covered my vision as he teleported right to me face to face.
Its body turned to smoke and went into the slits of my eyes. I felt visions follow me in my peripheral vision but surprisingly no pain followed power filled me and it felt like one hell of a drug.
My body and mind altered.
I was now in a very dark place with no walls or light except my reflection on the floor which waved like water.
I took a step back looking around and back to the reflection of me on the ground.
Soon the water rippled and my reflection fell through the floor like gravity was inverted. he flew upright and water fell off of him as he looked at me as he now stood straight ahead of me. He was just reflecting in the water but now eyed me down.
Collecting my nerves.
I begin to speak.
" what do you want..."
He was still in my form and stood perfectly straight. Now with water dripping from his...my hair.
Slight stubble with hair that hung down and my hazel eyes were not present within him but I was greeted with a swelling acidic green that doubled the size of my pupil.
" to serve you. "
He made no other movement than putting his hands behind his back like a soldier at ease.
I could not tell if it was lying or not.
" ...is that it? "
" I am the embodiment of your fear desires and brilliance. You have shaped me. Your desire for solitude birthed me. I will aid you in shaping the world how you see fit. Your reality becomes mine. "
There was a slight echo in the room as he spoke.
" wait...where are we "
I questioned haphazardly
" your mind. "
An awkward silence was in the air until I spoke
" so...am I just standing on the stage not making a sound? "
He gave me a concerned look.
" no...time has frozen outside for you. You may sleep here without having to in the real world so to others you look as if you never rest and you may think and plan what to do in battle here. For them, it will be about two seconds...Do...do you not have any knowledge of what I am? "
Suddenly I felt bad like I had encountered someone famous and I had no idea who they were. A slap in the face like a popular kid meeting someone who had never heard of them. Ego shattered.
" ok sorry no. I...don't go around reading about...monsters?"
I felt like was I saying the n-word of the demon realm not knowing if that word was offensive.
He folded his arms a little upset.
"Are you not a warrior? "
" well...no I...just watch TV and cook here and there- "
The demon cut me off
" weak. "
" excuse me? "
" look. I am an immortal being and after a while you get bored. So I'm sorry if I may be a little upset after being bonded with some nobody. "
I got quiet and I was a little annoyed that I was being roasted by some demon that I just met.
Its form wavers and eyes begin to open on its skin. Cheeks forhead etc.
"After being a god for so long it's fun to play with limitations. Makes things extremely exciting. "
" what do you mean by that? "
" look. You can only be so entertained by the same things. Life gets boring and now...you are going to help me with this. I get to have pure entertainment while you get every wish you could ever want. A mutual bond no? "
He then closed his eyes annoyed and the other eyes meshed back to his skin.
" though... the TV is not that interesting...life is what gets the blood pumping"
I felt the need to quickly change the topic
"Are there others like you? "
The room began to take shape very slowly as the water floor turned to wood and walls went around us.
" of course. You may meet them one day "
Confused and curious I pressed.
"Meet them? "
" yes. Summoning one of us is considered a threat to them. "
He spoke while opening and closing his newly found hand except backward.
" hm...no that don't look right "
I quickly responded
" Wait! How is doing that a threat! "
"Well, one doesn't just accidentally Summon one of us to suddenly get powers beyond human control. "
I thought back to how I summoned him by accident with some food I made.
" well...funny story but I summoned you using my breakfast..."
I had never regretted speaking so much as in that moment.
" What... "
Acid dripped from his words. Literally. His pupils split in half and his bottom jaw ripped open like an ant and curved giving sharpness to the bone.
"Please don't kill me. "
The room began to look like a cozy cabin with a fireplace and he slowly went back to normal.
" I would if I could. I've never felt so disrespected. We are bonded by your blood. If you die...I die. "
Suddenly I felt at ease by this new information.
Then a thought came to my mind
" ...God's can die? "
" you did hear me, right? "
The SAS from this guy was unneeded and I was starting to miss him being on his knees as weird as that sounds.
" so...all that power gone.... in an instant... "
" well...no actually God's powers don't just disappear they transfer to whoever killed them...wait...hold up."
He suddenly had an epiphany.
A smile grew on his face and he grabbed my shoulders
" you! You are going to help me kill the other gods! "
He sounded proud but I let him down.
" ha! No. "
" oh come on! Don't be like that. "
He did a pout.
"Look, man. I'm not killing gods for you. Just because you are bored. "
" hey...they might send people to kill you because you bonded with me. "
"What did I ever do to them? "
"They have a system to this stuff. They like to build and watch things play out. You're a problem. That can mess it up. So...they kill ya...to be honest, I don't know any other way to explain it, man. You know people normally just use my power to kill people and become a king and know this already. "
"This is outrageous. "
" bro. Look if you do this I will be able to get their powers and you will be able to do so much more than what I offer "
I tilted my head
" what can you do? Know what never mind. I will just talk to them and figure things out. "
He groaned and his form melted down sagging and it shot back up reforming
"Is there not anything that you want? Anything in the world? Gods don't put themselves in physical forms. They give people power and can make beings to hunt you. And if they care enough to come down themself. Ha, good luck."
I stopped and thought about it trying to weigh the options of pissing off higher beings.
Suddenly. I found something.
"Can you bring back the dead..."
He stopped confused.
" well...no "
" then I don't want anything "
" wait! "
He threw his arms out pleading
"I don't...but another God does..."
He crosses his arms smiling. He had left the question hanging letting me reconsider his offer.
I stopped and thought for a while before looking back up to him.
I let out a sigh and looked him in the eyes
" ok...you are going to help me get my father back. "
The demon smirked.
2024.05.14 02:28 thebuttcake [B&A] 4 weeks of azelaic acid progress!
![[B&A] 4 weeks of azelaic acid progress!](https://b.thumbs.redditmedia.com/xu3JmXLVIb2xbo0fgoaWrSREidvxEOHpfH-Y2c6N9LA.jpg "[B&A] 4 weeks of azelaic acid progress!") | So around end of February/early March, the left side of my jawline started breaking out bad. I never had such a bad breakout, my skin was super bumpy, red, itchy, and some days it actually hurt from cystic pimples. I was miserable! I visited the derm on 4/3 and got prescribed 15% azelaic acid gel, which is exactly what I wanted to try! submitted by thebuttcake to SkincareAddiction [link] [comments] I started the AzA a few days a week, then gradually worked my way up to daily at night. About a week ago, I incorporated it into my AM and PM routine. I’m super happy with my results and excited to keep using it. I didn’t show the rest of my face, but it absolutely brightened the rest of my face and smoothed it out. I still have some bumpiness in that area, which I plan to talk about with my derm next month. I want to incorporate alpha Arbutin to help with the dark spots left behind. If anyone has any other recs, I’d love to hear! I also use my LED therapy mask 3x a week, with red and blue light! AM: Rinse face with water AzA gel Clinique dramatically different gel Isntree watery Sun gel SPF 50 PM: Good molecules cleansing balm Vanicream cleanser AzA gel Clinique dramatically different lotion |
2024.05.14 02:24 w1ll0wxox Reaction to dye??
Hi! so I’ve been dyeing my own hair for about five years now and never had any problems, but about maybe a bit over a week ago i had one of my best friends who is a hairdressing student dye and cut my hair for me as he’s been doing it for a while now and trusted him to do it.
Now the problem is i let him choose the hair dye he used on me because he said he didn’t like the brand i usually use, which i was totally fine with because he was doing all this for me for nothing but me making him dinner after. But since he used the new dye on me my scalp has been very itchy sometimes unbearably so and it’s been a bit over a week now and it’s still very itchy.
At first i thought it was kind of normal because i have very sensitive skin and my head is sometimes a little bit itchy after i dye my hair but it’s usually fine after i wash my hair.
Is this something to be worried about?? thanks for any feedback!!
submitted by w1ll0wxox to HairDye [link] [comments]
Now the problem is i let him choose the hair dye he used on me because he said he didn’t like the brand i usually use, which i was totally fine with because he was doing all this for me for nothing but me making him dinner after. But since he used the new dye on me my scalp has been very itchy sometimes unbearably so and it’s been a bit over a week now and it’s still very itchy.
At first i thought it was kind of normal because i have very sensitive skin and my head is sometimes a little bit itchy after i dye my hair but it’s usually fine after i wash my hair.
Is this something to be worried about?? thanks for any feedback!!
2024.05.14 02:23 savleighhh Itchy skin everywhere and warm “sun burnt” feeling
I’ve had allergies my whole life. The usual runny nose, sneezing, sinus headache etc. but now I’m experiencing itchy skin everywhere, all over my back, arms, and legs. There isn’t any redness, but my skin feels warm like I’m slightly sunburnt, but I’m not. I found that it gets worse when I spend time outside, which is why I assume it’s allergies. I stopped spending time outside for a week and it stopped, but now it’s back. Does anyone have any advice? Going to an allergist isn’t an option right now so any advice is helpful.
I take Allegra every night. Flonase in the morning. Arm & Hammer Saline Spray morning and night. I shower every morning and evening.
submitted by savleighhh to Allergies [link] [comments]
I take Allegra every night. Flonase in the morning. Arm & Hammer Saline Spray morning and night. I shower every morning and evening.
2024.05.14 02:18 Ok-Mushroom634 wirehaired home grooming tips?
 | hello everyone! this is my 11 month old wirehaired pointing griffon. she is a total sweetie except she hates two things: grooming and baths! i am working on getting her accustomed to both—today she let me brush her as long as she could eat treats continuously lol. submitted by Ok-Mushroom634 to doggrooming [link] [comments] i’ve done a good amount of hand stripping, but parts of her coat are still very soft and mat more easily: her chest, top of head, stomach, and legs. she has a handful of mats that i’m working out right now. none of them are to the skin and the max width is about 2cm. they kind of hang off if you know what i mean. i don’t want her to have any, obviously, but i feel like im not in crisis mode yet. i plan on making an appointment with a groomer soon. i am taking her on a lake trip in about a week so my plan was right after. i’m wondering if y’all as experts can give me some advice…. 1) does the softness indicate that i need to strip more? and 2) is she good to get in water a few times with the mats described? i have another week to work at them and i plan to. |
2024.05.14 02:17 Boring_Donut1558 [Routine Help] what am I doing wrong????
im sending out a major sos for my skin and my routine bc ever since taking my skincare seriously and creating a routine, i feel like my skin has somehow gotten worse. i dont really know much about skincare but i have a friend who works at a cosmetics store and she helped me build a routine. could anyone help me identify what im doing wrong and point me to products that may be better for me?
backround info: im 19 years old, on a budget and would prefer not to spend more than like 20 bucks per product if possible. im assigned female at birth (they/them) (are these important?)
issues: i have severe fungal acne, those colorless little bumps all over my forehead. i have combination(?) skin, my face is extremely extremely oily all of the time except for my eyelids which become so dry they flake horribly, become red, itchy, and inflamed, and even swell. the area around my mouth is weirdly green tinted and my undereyes are noticeably purple.
okay lets go into my routine
sos my skincare lovers. any and all advice is appreciated …. i love u all
submitted by Boring_Donut1558 to SkincareAddiction [link] [comments]
backround info: im 19 years old, on a budget and would prefer not to spend more than like 20 bucks per product if possible. im assigned female at birth (they/them) (are these important?)
issues: i have severe fungal acne, those colorless little bumps all over my forehead. i have combination(?) skin, my face is extremely extremely oily all of the time except for my eyelids which become so dry they flake horribly, become red, itchy, and inflamed, and even swell. the area around my mouth is weirdly green tinted and my undereyes are noticeably purple.
okay lets go into my routine
- juno skin clear 10 cleansing balm
- cetaphil dermacontrol oil removing foam wash
- whatever lipscrub
- neutrogena hydro-boost hyaluonic acid exfoliating cleanser
- cerave hydrating toner for normal to dry skin
- cetaphil moisturizing lotion for dry to normal, sensitive skin
- aquaphor healing ointment (the only thing that tames my eyelids)
- cerave hydrating mineral sunscreen spf 50
sos my skincare lovers. any and all advice is appreciated …. i love u all
2024.05.14 01:58 No-Abalone-2808 Need advice on how to deal with my parent's fatphobic comments.
Hi Reddit. I need help with talking to my parents about their views on weight. I'm a 5'8 female who weighs 165 pounds. Ever since I've gotten home from college, my parents have been making constant remarks about my weight. Pinching my arms, commenting about my face fat, and telling me that I gained a lot of weight and look ugly (I was 160lbs before I went to college and I gained 5lbs). These comments have not only been about me, but my friends too and I'm starting to feel really upset, self-conscious, and uncomfortable around them. The reason I'm even writing this is because my dad just called me fat in front of his friends and told me that I need to lose 10-15 pounds for him to "not be depressed." I come from an Eastern European culture where there is a large emphasis on weight and staying skinny. And I understand that while maybe they're coming from a good place, their words are not at all helpful and in fact hurtful. However, I used to feel comfortable in my own body and my own skin and now I feel awful when I look in the mirror. I've already tried to bring this up to my mom, the fact that her comments may be hurtful, and she didn't understand where I was coming from. She said I was being ridiculous and delusional and that modern society has turned me into a "snowflake." Is there any way I can tell them I'm uncomfortable or get them to stop these comments before I develop an eating disorder?
submitted by No-Abalone-2808 to Advice [link] [comments]
2024.05.14 01:57 tjtherealbest I compare myself to others and care about how I look way too much
Hey everyone,
This is really just me venting and needing a space to let the thoughts in my mind go. You can ignore this post if you want but if you feel interested, please be my guest to stay and read but be warned as I'm not sure but it could be triggering to some people. I don't know but air on the side of caution.
All my life, I've always grew up feeling not "the same" as those around me. I was even ostracized by those around me and even if I tried, I felt awkward and like I'm lying to myself. Those around me probably felt the uncanney valley feeling with my attempts as well. No matter what, it was a lost cause.
That doesn't change the fact I try to find my own way and niche in life. Trying to carve out my own path that makes me feel confident, happy, and uniquely present. But even when I do, I feel like I can never fully "reach" that goal of "being". Being as in outwardly projecting the internal person I am. For me to feel as if my external self matches my internal self.
Below, I'll begin to give more specific instances that I do to compare myself to others if you would like a better insight into what I mean personally to me.
I try to change up my hair but it never comes out right due to my sebhorhoeic dermatitis, the fact that I truly have no one around me that can do my hair properly, and the fact that I can't keep up with it. I look at others around me who have healthy, beautiful hair that I would love to have and it makes me feel terrible about myself. Makes me feel as if I'm less than or not taking care of my hygiene when I know very good and well that it's because I have a skin condition that makes it difficult. Not only that, with me being black and having thick, 4c hair, doing my hair isn't cheap. Taking care of my hair isn't cheap. Having others do my hair isn't cheap. And I struggle with money already due to so many other things. So it's like I'm at a constant battle of trying to be confident with what I have but looking at others and being ashamed of myself.
Another example is clothing. Like I said previously, money is an obstacle in my life and always has so I haven't ever really been able to have clothing that makes me confident and happy up until recently in the last few years. Problem with that though is like I said before, I feel like I'm doing enough or don't have enough or not "doing it properly". I love fashion. I'm actively into fashion, but I can't dress well because the clothing I would like to wear doesn't come in my size. I'm a small man with a smaller waist and interesting proportions and so clothes are always too big. People tell me to shop in the boys section but that's the thing, I can't. I'm too big for boys clothes and too small for men's. I'm in the middle ground and it makes me upset. It's like I'd have to get my clothes tailored or look far and wide, online only, to then come up empty handed or articles that are way too expensive for me to purchase in my range. And I've tried thrifting but there's nothing for me in my area that I would like to wear or would fit me. So I look at other people around me dressing well, doing what I would love to do and it echos in my mind and makes me feel like I'm not fit to even try.
It even comes down to my face or my body. Looking at it and hyperfocusing on it and not appreciating who I am enough and being confident in physical self. The dermatitis making me feel disgusting at points. Me not liking my assymetrical features. Me thinking that others believe I'm ugly and so on and so on.
It's bothersome and I wish I didn't care or was just happy with myself. But because I feel like everything that I want for myself is obtainable, it makes me just disappointed in myself.
submitted by tjtherealbest to infp [link] [comments]
This is really just me venting and needing a space to let the thoughts in my mind go. You can ignore this post if you want but if you feel interested, please be my guest to stay and read but be warned as I'm not sure but it could be triggering to some people. I don't know but air on the side of caution.
All my life, I've always grew up feeling not "the same" as those around me. I was even ostracized by those around me and even if I tried, I felt awkward and like I'm lying to myself. Those around me probably felt the uncanney valley feeling with my attempts as well. No matter what, it was a lost cause.
That doesn't change the fact I try to find my own way and niche in life. Trying to carve out my own path that makes me feel confident, happy, and uniquely present. But even when I do, I feel like I can never fully "reach" that goal of "being". Being as in outwardly projecting the internal person I am. For me to feel as if my external self matches my internal self.
Below, I'll begin to give more specific instances that I do to compare myself to others if you would like a better insight into what I mean personally to me.
I try to change up my hair but it never comes out right due to my sebhorhoeic dermatitis, the fact that I truly have no one around me that can do my hair properly, and the fact that I can't keep up with it. I look at others around me who have healthy, beautiful hair that I would love to have and it makes me feel terrible about myself. Makes me feel as if I'm less than or not taking care of my hygiene when I know very good and well that it's because I have a skin condition that makes it difficult. Not only that, with me being black and having thick, 4c hair, doing my hair isn't cheap. Taking care of my hair isn't cheap. Having others do my hair isn't cheap. And I struggle with money already due to so many other things. So it's like I'm at a constant battle of trying to be confident with what I have but looking at others and being ashamed of myself.
Another example is clothing. Like I said previously, money is an obstacle in my life and always has so I haven't ever really been able to have clothing that makes me confident and happy up until recently in the last few years. Problem with that though is like I said before, I feel like I'm doing enough or don't have enough or not "doing it properly". I love fashion. I'm actively into fashion, but I can't dress well because the clothing I would like to wear doesn't come in my size. I'm a small man with a smaller waist and interesting proportions and so clothes are always too big. People tell me to shop in the boys section but that's the thing, I can't. I'm too big for boys clothes and too small for men's. I'm in the middle ground and it makes me upset. It's like I'd have to get my clothes tailored or look far and wide, online only, to then come up empty handed or articles that are way too expensive for me to purchase in my range. And I've tried thrifting but there's nothing for me in my area that I would like to wear or would fit me. So I look at other people around me dressing well, doing what I would love to do and it echos in my mind and makes me feel like I'm not fit to even try.
It even comes down to my face or my body. Looking at it and hyperfocusing on it and not appreciating who I am enough and being confident in physical self. The dermatitis making me feel disgusting at points. Me not liking my assymetrical features. Me thinking that others believe I'm ugly and so on and so on.
It's bothersome and I wish I didn't care or was just happy with myself. But because I feel like everything that I want for myself is obtainable, it makes me just disappointed in myself.
2024.05.14 01:53 shaneka69 CANCER ZODIAC - UNEXPECTED INCOME! TAROT READING MAY 2024
CANCER ZODIAC TAROT READING - UNEXPECTED INCOME MAY 2024
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2024.05.14 01:47 Puppersnme Treats for my dog's medication dosing
My boy has a laundry list of issues, including Cushing's and a stubborn flare-up of pancreatitis currently. He takes quite a a few medications (gabapentin, tramadol, Cerenia, famotidine, and metronidazole at the moment), and they can't be given on an empty stomach. When his stomach is upset, as it is from the pancreatitis, the only thing he'll eat that's low enough in fat to be tolerated are Blue Bits training treats. They're tiny and have a strong smell, which seems to tempt him so I'm able to give him his meds 3x per day.
I don't have Prime these days, and can't afford the shipping minimum without it. I'd be very appreciative if anyone is able to send these to my boy so he can stay on his dosing schedule.
Thanks for reading. 💜
https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/3NLOTEY1GC2KK?ref_=wl_share
submitted by Puppersnme to Assistance [link] [comments]
I don't have Prime these days, and can't afford the shipping minimum without it. I'd be very appreciative if anyone is able to send these to my boy so he can stay on his dosing schedule.
Thanks for reading. 💜
https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/3NLOTEY1GC2KK?ref_=wl_share
2024.05.14 01:43 xQueenNxVixeN Blockage or upset belly?
I changed my dog’s food about 10 days ago. (I know it should’ve been gradual but I messed up.) Two days later, my 130lb dog had diarrhea all over the place. Three days after that, she stopped eating. After a few days, I made her chicken and rice and she happily ate that, so I figured the new food didn’t agree and decided to move on. Woke up the next morning (today) to vomit, which continued all day. She’s extremely thirsty, but every time she drinks, she vomits. It started out as foam (after the chicken and rice remnants were through) and is now dark brown mucus. My vet can’t see her until tomorrow and I can’t afford the emergency vet. Does this sound like severe upset from the food or more like bloat/flipped stomach? I hate seeing my girl so miserable! I’m giving her small drinks about every hour and she is mostly keeping it down. Mostly.
submitted by xQueenNxVixeN to AskVet [link] [comments]
2024.05.14 01:42 DrealGargamel Need help and advice, please
Hello, Im 25 yrs old male, 6.1ft, 150-155lbs, caucasian. I dont drink, smoke and i dont use recreatioanl drugs. My diet is simple: (Rice, potatoes, oranges, carrots, red meat and chicken, butter, milk, liver, spinach, almonds) + cheddar, blueberries, walnuts, pistachios and eggs every now and then. Thats all i eat. And i drink more than 2 liters of water everyday. And i workout
I have a lot of skin issues. Acne, dishydrosis on my hands, cheilitis on my mouth, and from time to time i get some redness and itchiness on the posterior side of my elbows, some kind of eczema i guess. I've been diagnosed with ADHD and im on concerta but it doesn't help much. I still have lack of focus, attention and im not feeling good mentally. Still have brain fogg, and i feel stupid af. Recently i've noticed i have a few lumps under my chin and one under my right ear. I also have the shits, on the bristol chart between 5-6. I take zinc picolinate 15mg, vit d3 10 000IU, omega 3, creatine monohydrate and rarely magnesium citrate before bed, i also take vitamin C sporadically.
My derm told me to test IgE and it came 2182 IU/ml (the norm is 0-100) Last bloodwork i did long ago, my leukocytes were high but thats all i know.
Thats all for now. Thank you!
submitted by DrealGargamel to AskDocs [link] [comments]
I have a lot of skin issues. Acne, dishydrosis on my hands, cheilitis on my mouth, and from time to time i get some redness and itchiness on the posterior side of my elbows, some kind of eczema i guess. I've been diagnosed with ADHD and im on concerta but it doesn't help much. I still have lack of focus, attention and im not feeling good mentally. Still have brain fogg, and i feel stupid af. Recently i've noticed i have a few lumps under my chin and one under my right ear. I also have the shits, on the bristol chart between 5-6. I take zinc picolinate 15mg, vit d3 10 000IU, omega 3, creatine monohydrate and rarely magnesium citrate before bed, i also take vitamin C sporadically.
My derm told me to test IgE and it came 2182 IU/ml (the norm is 0-100) Last bloodwork i did long ago, my leukocytes were high but thats all i know.
Thats all for now. Thank you!
2024.05.14 01:41 owlsarentscary I need help from and insights here from nt's I grew up being told by nts what I can't do what I want with my body and life or am I going to attract nt violence again from nts and upset them and apparently I have to follow these rules, roles and expectations? (Trigger Warnings)
Just a heads up for everyone (Trigger Warnings for: abusive people, behaviour and anti autistic slurs)
Ok I really need to ask this question and need to get an nt insight here you see when I tried to do these things in the past I got a lot of nt's very very angry with me and violent towards me, I don't understand why but I could use some insight into this am I doing something wrong or are they the nt's in the wrong these are the rules, roles and expectations I was told I had to follow right?
Things nt's have told me I can't do and have to do etc:
I'm not allowed to dress the way I want, so I don't I was told to dress in the British thug way, see eggsy's step fathers gang from kingsman for an example, but you see the way I want to dress is like say characters from supernatural and vampire diaries as that's sort of my taste, but they told me I had to dress the British thug way as otherwise I'd draw violence and upset my way and dressing how I want is creepy too according to them too.
Apparently I'm not allowed to have sex with who I want and also wants me back I.e. I always make sure there's 100% consent involved before proceeding, but they told me that I'm not allowed to do this as me being autistic and me having sex is creepy to everyone and it gives them disgusting thoughts and nightmares, even though I wouldn't be having sex with them it's still wrong apparently, and me saying that I wanted to have 100% consensual sex and I would never force or manipulate or guilt someone into having sex with me, even kissing etc in any shape or form is apparently me being entitled and acting entitled and I was also told I had Male entitlement in droves because this was and is my mentality, and sexual autistic people no matter what are creepy according to them and no matter what I do I am a rapist even if it is consensual and my sexual partner says it's not rape, I never understood this logic.
Apparently me being in shape, good hygiene such clean white teeth, good skin etc and having a good hairstyle is only for nt's and autistic people having these things is wrong and I needed to know my place and sit in the corner and not bring attention to myself and fulfill my role in the order of the world according to them as I've marked to be at the bottom because of my autism and I have no choice but to fulfil this role as that's all can do in the world and if I don't fulfil this role get uncomfortable and creeped out.
Apparently I'm not supposed to proactively go out of my way to make friends such as join meet up groups, work on my social skills and body language, learn social etiquette and dynamics etc, apparently I'm supposed not do this, I have to isolate myself and put with anyone who comes my way even abusive people, and I'm supposed to not defend myself and use my combat training as I probably upset my attacker even if didn't follow them around or say anything to them, go anywhere near them or make eye contact with them, I was told don't walk tall with my shoulders back and my head held high and dont work on your eye contact as when you look at these people in the eye even in passing, even for a fraction of a second is apparently asking for a fight and all this is creepy too, my behaviour apparently in the self improvement sense I mean.
Apparently I'm supposed to accept the fact if I do get into a relationship or get married I should accept the fact I will get cheated on and settled for and no one will love me romantically speaking or find me sexually desirable and no one would want to have children with me and any children born in my relationship or marriage will be by another man by cheating as well according to them I'm an autistic freak and no one can love that or be turned on by that or want to have children with me and need to accept my place.
Apparently I'm supposed to act like a stereotypical autistic person or otherwise anyway other from me is apparently creepy and comes across as unnatural and makes others uncomfortable.
Apparently I have to have stereotypical geek interests such as comics, video games etc as that's all autistic people are allowed to be into.
Apparently no matter what I do I'll always be a creep and a creepy guy, even when I'm not doing anything abnormal according to them, they also told me no matter what I do I'm sexist, mysgonistic and racist, even if I don't do things that are that, as my condition makes me that way.
Anyway to finalize I was told all this and I had to accept my role as people were born into roles and these where mine and if I didn't fulfill these things I'd be in deep trouble and probably end up in prison as it would cause violence etc which I would be blame for.
I heard this a lot from my mother and teachers and teaching assistants at my school, my grandfather, my mother's friends, people from college, kids at my school, even people after school and college, all these people are and were nts by the way, anyway this is why I isolate myself out of fear of not following the above will lead me to basically making my life hell on earth, I also found out years later that the kids at my school had mental disturbances which caused them to be violent I didn't know this at the time I was in school, I don't know if that information helps or not?
My grandmother by the way doesn't agree with any of this and doesn't and didn't want me to listen to them or follow what they said, my grandmother is an nt by the way.
So my question is there any truth to any of this or are they completely in the wrong, please help.
submitted by owlsarentscary to autism [link] [comments]
Ok I really need to ask this question and need to get an nt insight here you see when I tried to do these things in the past I got a lot of nt's very very angry with me and violent towards me, I don't understand why but I could use some insight into this am I doing something wrong or are they the nt's in the wrong these are the rules, roles and expectations I was told I had to follow right?
Things nt's have told me I can't do and have to do etc:
I'm not allowed to dress the way I want, so I don't I was told to dress in the British thug way, see eggsy's step fathers gang from kingsman for an example, but you see the way I want to dress is like say characters from supernatural and vampire diaries as that's sort of my taste, but they told me I had to dress the British thug way as otherwise I'd draw violence and upset my way and dressing how I want is creepy too according to them too.
Apparently I'm not allowed to have sex with who I want and also wants me back I.e. I always make sure there's 100% consent involved before proceeding, but they told me that I'm not allowed to do this as me being autistic and me having sex is creepy to everyone and it gives them disgusting thoughts and nightmares, even though I wouldn't be having sex with them it's still wrong apparently, and me saying that I wanted to have 100% consensual sex and I would never force or manipulate or guilt someone into having sex with me, even kissing etc in any shape or form is apparently me being entitled and acting entitled and I was also told I had Male entitlement in droves because this was and is my mentality, and sexual autistic people no matter what are creepy according to them and no matter what I do I am a rapist even if it is consensual and my sexual partner says it's not rape, I never understood this logic.
Apparently me being in shape, good hygiene such clean white teeth, good skin etc and having a good hairstyle is only for nt's and autistic people having these things is wrong and I needed to know my place and sit in the corner and not bring attention to myself and fulfill my role in the order of the world according to them as I've marked to be at the bottom because of my autism and I have no choice but to fulfil this role as that's all can do in the world and if I don't fulfil this role get uncomfortable and creeped out.
Apparently I'm not supposed to proactively go out of my way to make friends such as join meet up groups, work on my social skills and body language, learn social etiquette and dynamics etc, apparently I'm supposed not do this, I have to isolate myself and put with anyone who comes my way even abusive people, and I'm supposed to not defend myself and use my combat training as I probably upset my attacker even if didn't follow them around or say anything to them, go anywhere near them or make eye contact with them, I was told don't walk tall with my shoulders back and my head held high and dont work on your eye contact as when you look at these people in the eye even in passing, even for a fraction of a second is apparently asking for a fight and all this is creepy too, my behaviour apparently in the self improvement sense I mean.
Apparently I'm supposed to accept the fact if I do get into a relationship or get married I should accept the fact I will get cheated on and settled for and no one will love me romantically speaking or find me sexually desirable and no one would want to have children with me and any children born in my relationship or marriage will be by another man by cheating as well according to them I'm an autistic freak and no one can love that or be turned on by that or want to have children with me and need to accept my place.
Apparently I'm supposed to act like a stereotypical autistic person or otherwise anyway other from me is apparently creepy and comes across as unnatural and makes others uncomfortable.
Apparently I have to have stereotypical geek interests such as comics, video games etc as that's all autistic people are allowed to be into.
Apparently no matter what I do I'll always be a creep and a creepy guy, even when I'm not doing anything abnormal according to them, they also told me no matter what I do I'm sexist, mysgonistic and racist, even if I don't do things that are that, as my condition makes me that way.
Anyway to finalize I was told all this and I had to accept my role as people were born into roles and these where mine and if I didn't fulfill these things I'd be in deep trouble and probably end up in prison as it would cause violence etc which I would be blame for.
I heard this a lot from my mother and teachers and teaching assistants at my school, my grandfather, my mother's friends, people from college, kids at my school, even people after school and college, all these people are and were nts by the way, anyway this is why I isolate myself out of fear of not following the above will lead me to basically making my life hell on earth, I also found out years later that the kids at my school had mental disturbances which caused them to be violent I didn't know this at the time I was in school, I don't know if that information helps or not?
My grandmother by the way doesn't agree with any of this and doesn't and didn't want me to listen to them or follow what they said, my grandmother is an nt by the way.
So my question is there any truth to any of this or are they completely in the wrong, please help.