It should be the 9th attempt and this time is special because the season should start today!
Im part of this sub for a long time now and it feels so refreshing finding people that love games and likes to share they're hobby with others, both who can afford a game or gifts and who can't. The community its amazing and im gratefull to be part of it :D .
Today im here asking for help on getting Diablo IV! but lets deep-dive into the request a bit...shall we?
What is Diablo IV?:
Well, even if you're not an RPG or in this case, ARPG fan, you probably heard in your life about Diablo! it's probably the most famous ARPG of all times, it's been out for more than 20 years now and even with the latest up's and down's of the title in the past years, it's probably one of the best in its genre. For this reason i won't really make a wall of text about it, because im gonna be real, im a new player of ARPG's (beside playing some diablo 2/3 and path of exile years ago), the first one i took seriously was Last Epoch 1 month and half ago (amazing title, i suggest it to everyone that loves this type of games) so i don't really know a lot about Diablo IV lore, story, campaign etc. I kept spoilers away from me, because i think beauty of this genre, sometimes is to explore it by yourself without people telling you what to do and how to do at first.
Why i am requesting it now?:
As i said im a big fan of RPG's, MMORPG's and now recently ARPG's made space into my list of games that im loving and im starting to appreciate any one of them (beside Path of Exile where its still a bit hard for me, one day...one day).
I recently reached the "end" of the current Last Epoch "Season / Cycle" for the characters i made and i was looking deep into the genre, Diablo is game that i already played in the past (with diablo 2 maybe 3 even, years ago when i was a young boy) and i always had a great time playing it, also it's currently one of the two games on the market that's pretty new player friendly (like Last Epoch) and i heard/readed that they're improving the game a lot with the next seasons coming up in the next months, so this is probably the best time to jump in and learn the mechanics of this title and have fun with my friends or solo eventually, so to be prepared to the next big major content update for the game.
Im looking forward to play Barbarian class and then...we'll see heheh (im addicted to big muscle and big weapons characters ahah). I love the graphic, the enviroments, the aesthetic and the whole settings of the campaign (from what i saw on the steam trailer between last year and this week), it gives me a lot of old school rpg's vibes, also the character customization and combat seems amazing, really good to see.
Why im asking for your help currently?:
As you can imagine, right now, i don't have enough money to buy a copy of the game, even when it goes on sale still a price that i can't really afford. My job is not stable and every income i have goes towards my family, the bills and the GeForce Now subscription (cloud gaming platform that i use to play games on my old laptop, since my main computer died during the covid era and i couldn't buy a new one). Unfortunately i never had the opportunity to get the game even at launch or during 2023/early this year and it went out on sale always when i was short on money for gaming.
For this reason im asking for your help and for your generosity once again, since i met a lot of good people around here and all of them were great.
If you can or want to help me i will leave below my steam profile and the page of the game, i wish you really the best and thank you again for reading me <3 .
My Steam Profile: https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198259313755/ Diablo IV Steam page
​

We’ve been together for going on 5 years now. The first 2 years were great in every way. Then my dad passed way and I completely shut down, had health problems emerge, and had to really push myself to finish school. It took me maybe a year and 1/2 to start getting back to my normal self. Then I found out the issue. While I was going through everything, apparently I made him feel unwanted somehow. I never did it intentionally and was never mean to him as far as I know. I just, for obvious reasons, didn’t want sex. Now that I’ve been feeling more myself, for about a year now, I’ve been trying to get things back on track but it’s not working. We’ve had like 2 fights about it at this point but nothing too crazy. He says he wants me to initiate more, I try but he doesn’t notice or turns me down. He acts surprised when I compliment him, when I compliment him all the time. I ended up going to grad school and we talk every night (I’m in another state for school). There’s no worries of cheating or anything like that. Now I’m home visiting and he’s been lovey like always. We always grab on each other, kiss, hug, and everything seems fine… but no sex. Im incredibly confused and my feelings are hurt. I want to bring it up but I don’t want to start a fight when I only get to see him for this short time before I go back. Every part of our relationship is perfect, except this and I don’t know what to do. The thought of the relationship ending due do this fills me with a feeling I can only describe as feeling like my heart is being ripped out. What do you think I should do? How can I even start to work through this with him?
TL;DR: Very little sex for the past 2.5 years due to grief. How would you suggest trying to rekindle the intimacy after getting through said grief?

Today I got a call from my agency that my contract was going to be cut short due to a few complaints. I need other nurses’ opinion on this please.
Context: I’m contracted at a rural multi purpose hospital, combined emergency, acute medical and residential care. It’s purely nurse-led with medical officers on call who can get on the telehealth/screen in ED if needed. Plus a doctor who physically visits approx 3x a week in AM shifts.
There’s a senior RN who works casual shifts. We never really got along, although we’ve never had any direct conflict or arguments. She just makes a lot of comments about travel nurses, questioning our ED skills, how we made the nurses accomodation a “pig sty” (even though it’s spotless, no dishes on the sink, always dried and put away on the spot etc). Anyway she complained to the management that I don’t do complete handovers- for example I didn’t hand over to their shift that I gave a slow IV push of digoxin to an ED patient. Another nurse who was in the handover room 100% remembers that I did in fact hand it over including the period of time I took to push the drug in and what time. On top of that, all the drugs given were charted and co signed by us, all available for her to read. But she says I never handed it over.
Number two, there’s a complaint that I argued with the doctor and have “abrupt attitude.” I have never ever argued with anybody there- not the admin, nit the cleaners, not the medical team etc. I have opinions about the people but I always keep it to myself to avoid the work politics. The closest thing I can think of is the doctor DECLINED to see a head injury patient I handed over, because she would rather suture a non urgent wound on the limb in another room. Without asking who, what, how, when, she just replied “I don’t want to see him” with a smile on her face. I said “They’re actually in that other room right now and have timed their arrival to see you.” And she went “Well I’ll be too busy suturing in there.” And that was end. She refused to see him 100%. Fortunately, the same coworker who is vouching I handed over the digoxin also witnessed this interaction. The patient was clinically well and neuro obs okay so he was discharged with a minor traumatic brain injury fact sheet. I explained all the warning signs and to come back if so. He returned the next day unwell and I texted her again to come SEE him, that’s when she finally saw him. And the kid ended up getting a CT scan in a bigger hospital. Luckily, there was no brain bleed. This was an INCREDIBLY DANGEROUS situation and I have so many regrets because I didn’t advocate for that patient enough. Luckily he was okay and he went home. I also had another chest pain patient who presented twice on the same day- I followed protocol, did the ECG and bloods. The dr was giving me attitude that it was clearly non-cardiac and non-urgent, rather mental health related. Regardless, I did my job and followed protocols for chest pain. Then the pharmacy called me asking about a loratadine script not matching the online med chart, and wanted to clarify which drug the doctor wanted. Obviously I was not going to tell her which drug to dispense (as I’m not a doctor) so I passed it on to the doctor. Her response was “This question is so petty. I don’t really care.” As you can see, despite this doctor’s attitude, I’ve been very patient and kept things to myself to remain professionalism. These are the closest interactions I can think of to an “argument.” The only person other than my witness who knew about this interaction was the same RN above who complained about the digoxin
Fourth, we do our own blood pathologies onsite due to being rural. So when I had a chest pain, I placed a 24 gauge IV cannula on a 71 year olds r) forearm SOLELY for the collection of bloods. My thinking was rather than poking her 3x for repeat bloods I would cannulate her to collect from the same cannula (you only need 1 mL or less each time). I already told this to the LPN/LVN who questioned the size of the cannula. I assured her at the event we had to administer IV drugs, it would be given in a bigger cannula on the L) forearm (as I avoid collecting blood from the same IV where drugs and fluids are being pushed into). This is also documented in her acute folder, cannulation form (under reason for cannulation is BLOODS). Anyway this LPN complained that I’m using the wrong IV size. Iwant to clarify NO IV DRUGS were given. Only ORAL. That IV was purely for bloods. But you know what, thinking about it, even if I were to push fluids through there, it wouldn’t be wrong. 24 gauge is used on paediatrics AND elderly AND adults with miniature sensitive veins.
But despite all of this, my contract has been cut shorter by weeks and the agency has asked me not to approach the management. And to finish my contract quietly and in peace. They won’t pass my feedback on out of fear it will cause conflict in their relationship with the client. Additionally, moving forward, they cannot place me in ED contracts anymore until I’ve completed a medical/acute contract and gotten good feedback.
To me this absolute bullshit so I told them this will be the last contract with them (I have other agencies). Did I do the right thing? Was I wrong in any of these scenarios? Please give feedback as I want to improve myself as a nurse…

This is long, sorry.
My wife cheated on me 14 years ago while we dated. We were in our mid twenties and had been dating for several years. She was seeing a man from work that was almost 40 years old at the time, so nearly a 15 year age difference. I found out while I was using her laptop to help her with a project for school (she was finishing her degree) and found an email she sent to this guy with a picture of her boobs with the words “do my boobs look good today?”
I remember I was shaking and blew up at her immediately. She denied it was anything and she strung me along for a few months before we got back together. I knew she was still seeing this guy while we were trying to fix our relationship. I remember the anxiety and depression like it was yesterday.
Shortly after we got back together, she found out she was pregnant. She assured me it was my child and I believed her. I remember the possible night of conception when she told me to cum inside of her. We were always careful and never did that before for obvious reasons. We moved in together and got married 2 years later. We now have 3 kids together. I didn’t bring it up at the time because she was pregnant and I didn’t want to cause her stress.
This has always bothered me as we never discussed the cheating. I finally brought it up 3 years ago and told her I needed closer and have always thought it was possible our oldest was not my child. I needed details on the extent of her relationship with this guy. The conversation did not go well. She was so cold and seemed like she wanted to avoid any conversation about the subject. She does not do well with communicating so I admit it was probably tough for her.
I needed more answers so I brought this up again recently. She admitted that he kissed her and that it was more of an emotional affair. She claims they did not sex and he never touched her. She said she didn’t feel right when they kissed so she told him to stop and he never did it again. They went to a movie together, walks at the park, coffee dates, late night dinner. She said that she liked the attention and that was it.
The problem, she claims to not remember any details. She doesn’t know the name of the movie, when or where they kissed, when she officially broke it off with him. To top it off this guy was married and his wife was pregnant, but claimed he was separated. I asked if he told her about his wife and she said yes but again can’t remember when he told her about his wife’s pregnancy.
She has zero fucking details other than she realized she loved me and broke it off with him. I don’t know what to do here. I’m tired of brushing this under the rug. I love her and want to believe her but I can’t without details.
I think she might be afraid to admit the truth because we have a nice life together. She doesn’t work and I make enough money to support us and not worry financially. We are very grateful for that. She did tell me that she regrets this every day and always feared I would divorce her over this.
I told her I want a paternity test for our oldest and she agreed. She said she know with 100% certainty our oldest is mine and nothing else is possible”. I think that a paternity test will strain our marriage if she is telling the truth. Now what? I can’t figure out if she’s telling the truth, lying because she fucked him and was scared she was pregnant so she had sex with me to say I got her pregnant, or just horrible timing around when we had sex and when the cheating occurred.
I have no idea how to get past not knowing what she did with this guy.

Been living in a boarding house with 4 bedrooms, which one of it is occupied by my landlord. It is a very old filipino house without aircon, so it’s very hot during the day especially in feb-may. Only my landlord have an install aircon in his room
So the red flag begins, when I leave the room. To go to my school. And place my stuff at my desk and my bed. Then when I came back to my room. All of my stuff where shoved into my closet and he seemed to clean the place. It was a bit embarrassing for my part because my closet have my underwear hanging in my closet. That where he puts my books, notebook, etc.
At first I thought this was a common thing in boarding house but my roommate suggests that her previous boarding house would not touch her stuff, although she would get in and check for the outlet but NEVER touch her stuff. And this was weird for her,
a few months passed she decided to leave the boarding house because she felt that there were no privacy, because the landlord would just bust inside our room, without knocking. And sometimes almost caught us undressing, when he wanted to say something to us.
When my roommate ask for the deposit, the landlord refused because it needed to be consume, when we didn’t even know that before signing in. There were no verbal or contract agreements on what to do with the deposit. Then he proceeded to ask my roommate to stay a little longer or like “bakit ganito kana?, hindi ka ganito noon ha”. They started screaming to each other until my roommate have enough, and just leave without taking her deposit.
The second red flag for me, is that I get so many blames in the house. Like he would say “dapat hindi pinapasok ang pusa sa bahay” then I said that it wasn’t me then he proceeded to say “kapag makita mo ang pusa sa loob ng bahay, palabasin mo”. I just noded and leave cuz I’m almost late to my class. He would sometimes scolded me for the wrong things, like my laundry is submerged too long, or my clothes are hanging too long. He would make a fuss about our trash, that we have too much.
I’m feeling suffocated here, sometimes I would choose a time to get out of the house and get in when he is not around. Cuz every time we met, he always have something to say. Maybe I am overreacting or overthinking, is this normal in boarding house?

Looking for someone to help me solve a little mystery.
Last year I went with some friends to this property a little past Crescent Valley High School. We drove most of the way, then parked and had to walk past an old gate and up a hill/driveway. I'm pretty sure there was even a For Sale sign by the gate. At the top of the hill there was basically a concrete slab with a couple walls that appeared to be the shell of a house. They were covered in graffiti, but still so cool.
I unfortunately can not remember for the life of me where this was. I know it is a pretty popular spot with OSU students and CV high schoolers. Can anyone tell me where it is?
Thanks!

Six years together. 2024 has been quite a year so far. My boyfriend has been out of work for almost 5 months, which is yearly occurrence since his main source of income is from doing gig work with a local transportation company. He has been applying to jobs with an out of date resume, he hasn't had that much luck in finding work. When I suggested taking on a temporary job at a grocery store or cafe to stay afloat until his main job starts up again, he became extremely upset and said that those jobs were beneath him.
In these past 5 months he has been playing video games, smoking weed in my bathroom, randomly leaving at all hours to hang out with his friends. He doesn't help with any chores, out of fear for my safety I purchased him a new phone when he broke his, paid for two months worth of phone bills, purchase work boots, and allowed him to shake me down for cash to buy weed.
Even though he tries to gaslight me but saying that this is first year that he hasn't been without work, it hasn't been. Every year since he quit his job during covid(2020)and moved into my apt. he has had periods of no work and very little to no money. He just games and smokes those months away. He berates me for not cooking or cleaning when I was working two jobs and he was working none. When he finally did get a new job thanks to his dad helping him, he refused to contribute financially even though he saw how physically and mentally exhausted I was from working 6 days a week. He said I didn't deserve help. He treats me terribly whenever I help him out. He has forced me to pay his taxes, give him one of my stimulus bills, buy him food. He becomes irate if things aren't exactly how he wants it. He loves to make plans only to cancel at the last minute and then gaslight me about it. He would refuse to go out with me to events but then drop everything to go hang out with his friends.
I always told him that if he can't contribute financially due to not having enough or having work, it's fine but he should contribute by doinf household chores. He refuses.
I think what is going on is that my mind is trying to protect me by compartmentalizing and lessen the gravity of the situation and of what occurred this past weekend. I see the signs of being in an abusive relationship but I don't fully believe that I am in one because it doesn't fit what we all have been told are the signs of an abusive relationship.
In February he pushed some storage bins into me, one of which broke and cut me in my back because I told his parents that he hadn't been working for the past two months.
This past weekend which we were walking through a soon to be closed mall, I had been recording the beautiful 80's/90's architecture when he said wait, I instinctively turned around and he was scratching himself. I laughed a little bit and turned back and continued walking. Since I had my phone in my hand he thought I had recorded him, he rushed down the hallway angrily asking me if I recorded him and to give him my phone. I said I didn't and kept walking,I was wearing a hoodie and he grabbed my hood and pulled, angrily telling me to give him my phone, I told him to let go that he was hurting me. I tried to keep on walking but he was still holding onto and pulling my hood. He then proceeds to try to grab the phone out of my hands. You know when someone tries to grab something out of your hands and both of you start grappling over the item, that's what happened. My phone is brand new and did not have a case yet and I was worried he would smash it into the ground. I know my personal safety is more important than a phone but I couldn't let go even if I wanted to, he had grabbed onto me and was in the process of pushing me into the wall when a guy rounded the corner.
He didn't step in nor call the police as far as I know. I took the opportunity to get away from my boyfriend as quickly as I could.
I ran to the train station, he kept on yelling at me "Are you really going to act like this", I didn't answer. My neck and throat burned from where his was pulling back on my hoodie. I started to cry. There was a lady who seemed to notice that something was going on and nodded her head in approval when she saw me rushing past to get into the station.
When he finally did catch up to me and when he texted and called me afterwards, he kept on blaming me for what happened. He said that I shouldn't have walked away from him when he grabbed onto my hood and that I should have told him that I was playing around and pretending to record him( which is what I said to placate him). When I said that he shouldn't have grabbed my hoodie and pulled he retorted with the so now it's my fault, as if I made him pull my hoodie and react like that.
I wanted to go home but I didn't have my keys on me, so I went down to a nearby marina and watched the boats for awhile.
I ultimately ended up at his parents house. I did not tell them what happened. In the past he would become enraged when he found out that I had told his sisters or mom about what was really going on, and would forbade me to either go to a family function or to say anything. His dad then proceeded to have a conversation about selling his house and giving us the proceeds to buy a house but we should have two kids. His parents have been pressuring me have a child with him even though we aren't married. I want to get married and have a small church wedding but according to my boyfriend I don't deserve a wedding. He also shared with us the importance that both people in a relationship need to contribute financially and pay bills, I told him he should tell that to his son, not me. It would be insanity to have a child with a man like him. I know that he will not change who he is if a child came along.
My friends are aware of the general situation (not of this latest incident), some of my family is aware of the general situation( I don't want them to worry and I don't want to bring unnecessary drama into their lives). His family is aware, one of his older sister's told me to call her for help when I wanted to end things with him and she would come over but when I actually did reach out to her, she said that I was an adult and would need to handle things on my own. I think she feigned concerned in order to get information to gossip with the rest of their family.
I am scared of him. Scared of how he would react if I stand firm in him needing to leave. Scared that he will harm my friends, family, himself and me. He has threaten suicide before. He has threaten to harm my pet. He has threaten to steal my mom's ashes. I have asked him to leave before and either he refuses or he simply ignores me.Him leaving is not that simple. He has nothing to lose yet at the same time everything to lose. He doesn't want to go back to his parents house because they will make him find a full time job and then won't let him do what he wants, he would have less freedom( couldn't smoke weed)...and those are his words not mine. He has never agreed to a break or even a temporary visit because he would "come back madder". He knows if he does leave, I will try to end things with him.
He comes across as a calm, chill guy when he is around my friends and family because he is high all or most of the time. That calm, chill guy is not who he really is. He is angry, volatile, and cruel. Yes, he has his moments of kindness(or niceness) and sweetness. Is it "nice" to have someone around to talk with, yes. Who seemingly care about when you will be back home, yes. but do those niceties outweigh everything else that has happened.
There is so much more that I could add to this post, but I am exhausted and I have blocked several incidents out. He constantly tries to gaslights me. He lied about his background and education. He has gotten physical several other times as well as verbally/emotionally. He has engaged in several sexting relationships, most notably with his ex Christy and his "friend" Lore. When I expressed how hurtful his cheating was he stated that is who he is, that he's the kind guy but since he didn't sleep with them, it's fine, it's not cheating. These girls also do not see anything wrong with what they have done.
I do not have any immediate family ie siblings or parents. Therefore, I cannot go and stay with family until he leaves or have a family member accompany me while he moves out. I do have extended family in the area but life has taught me that there is no guarantee that they will help you even if you desperately need it. It's the American way to find your own way out of problems and pull yourself up by your bootstraps ( I say this sarcastically).
The apt. is in my name and I'm pretty sure there is a clause in it that states that if there are domestic disturbances I would have to move out. As stated above I don't have anywhere else to go, so he must leave.
Sometimes I think that this is my lot in life and that I should just accept it. I find myself questioning if what happened on Saturday really is abuse or if it was just a misunderstanding that got a little bit out of hand. Sometimes I just don't know anymore.

So today I went through something quite painful. For the past 2 years, I’ve been consistently trying to reach out to a very close friend of mine. We met at uni and we did everything together and I’ve never had such a close friendship like that before and she was basically like a sister to me! 2 years ago she started becoming really distant and ever since, I’ve always been the one to message her asking her how she is and asking if she wants to meet up… and I was ALWAYS met with dead silence. Like she wouldn’t even respond when I wished her a happy birthday.
So today, I did what I’ve been wanting to do for a long time and I texted her and asked her what happened, and what I did wrong. And if I did something that made her act like this to please tell me and also tell me so I can stop reaching out to always be met with a blank wall.
She responded and said she thought that we were naturally becoming distant in a hectic time and she doesn’t have the emotional capacity to reconnect. I totally get that but I don’t understand about the distancing aspect because I’ve always messaged her because I didn’t want us to become distant.
I asked her if she would ever want to connect again, and she then said that “the clingyness and continuation out of this convo is starting to make me a bit uncomfortable” and she deleted me off instagram.
This is just super painful because I wasn’t trying to come across and clingy, I just wanted to know what happened and why she turned so cold. And why would she delete me from instagram? It just all feels so personal and I’m currently going through the motions of grieving what was an incredibly important friendship in my life.
It was even more painful these past 2 years where I would constantly see her out with new friends whilst she was point blank ignoring my messages of asking how she is and whether she’d want to hang out.

My STBXW (30F) left me (35M) 1.5 months ago. We have been together for 6.5 years. No kids.
Our marriage didn't start as a fairy tale, but it kept improving for the first 5.5 years.
There was no cheating, physical or substance abuse.
We were very compatible on so many levels. Never got bored of each other, never ran out of things to talk about. Laughed a lot. Going through lockdown was a breeze, since we both really enjoyed spending time together. We were best friends, true soulmates.
I was confident and secure that this bond would last a lifetime... I knew in my heart, that I would never break it. But it didn't last a lifetime. This loss of innocence is very traumatic, I don't know how to trust someone again after a deep rejection like that.
We had different views and priorities in life, which was always a source of conflict, and both of us were really stubborn.
I can't say for sure, but I think that I was a good husband. Although maybe I wasn't, since good husbands don't get abandoned. I don't drink or smoke. I earned a pretty good salary, kept in shape, always supported her career beginnings, paid for food/going out/bills/rent all those years, always had time for her and for us, found and planned new activities for us. House chores, except cooking, were equally divided. I definitely wasn't perfect and there are many things that I wish I could have done better, especially in the last year or so.
We started arguing A LOT. After about 4-5 months, serious divorce talks started, and after another 2, she completely checked out and left. I pleaded, I begged, but that just convinced her of making the right choice and made it worse. I later realized that she has grieved the relationship in those months of arguing. We both hurt each other so much mentally during that time. I can't forgive myself. It's sad how many men only see the real problems when it is too late. 80% of divorces are initiated by the wife. I really saw what our problems were when she left, I tried discussing it, promising to change, which I really meant. But it was "too little, too late".
I feel so much guilt and shame. Received a lot of support from friends and family which I didn't expect.
After she left, she liked my FB posts and we chatted for two weeks. Then it quickly dried down to divorce proceedings. She blames me for destroying our relationship and ruining everything and says that she is the victim here. Maybe she is right? I'm so devastated that I think she is probably right. The only concern is that right before all that arguing started, she read about 5 books on "toxic relationships", "narcissists", "abusers", etc.
And in the last 2 months before leaving, she was reading a book "Why men love bit**es".
It's been 1.5 months now, and all I can think about for 90% of the day is her. I deeply feel that I will never find someone like her again. The though of death is on my mind every other day. If it wasn't for my mother, I would probably end it. Signed up for therapy in two days, it's going to be my first time.
I keep asking everyone for a recovery timeline, but everyone just says "that's very individual". The most common answer seems to be 6-18 months of this purgatory. Cried literally 10 times yesterday, and twice today already. I just don't know how to move on, and most importantly, I see no reason to move on, except to save my mother from the pain of seeing me suffer and fail at life.
Please, can you share your experiences? Have you really, truly considered someone your soulmate, your best friend, and then moved on? How long will I be in this purgatory? I do remember that I was sometimes unhappy in those years. But isn't everyone on some level, occasionally unhappy in a marriage? We don't live in a fairy tale, and that's normal, right? How do I know if I am putting her on a pedestal? Sorry for so many questions.
I still consider her a good person and wish her well, although I am devastated that she left me when I felt in my heart that we would overcome anything and I would never ever abandon her.

So, basically, everything started 2 years ago when I moved to a new house in another city to finish my major in IT. In this republic where a lot of students live (8 at the time), my best friend and I went to live there. Upon arriving, I met this female (21), let’s call her S. We started talking and getting intimate even though she seemed like a good person. However, things happened and I tried to get away from her. But since she is crazy and we live in the same house, that did not work too well. She would do things like lock me in the house with her and hide the key, send her grandma to my house asking me to get with her, and all kinds of messed up things that I’m not writing here (if you want to know, ask in the comments).
It was basically more than a year like that. We were not in a relationship or anything, but that did not matter to her. Everyone at the republic knew but no one ever spoke about it and chose silence, even my best friend. I felt kind of bad because when he needed me, I was there for him. I tried to talk to him but he would always change the subject and did not like to get involved.
It was a year and a half like that. I literally would sleep from 2 am to 12 pm, wake up, go to college, and then come back at 11:00 pm so I wouldn’t interact with her. So, I started talking to a girl at my college and followed her on Instagram (I think that was my mistake where I am now). She followed me back. At first, I was really not looking for a relationship or anything, but I really liked her. She was a cool friend. But S did not like that, not even a little bit. How do I know that? I always was low profile. I did not like posting any photos on social media and all of that. My Instagram does not have a profile pic as well and I did not use it until recently, so I know that if I followed someone new, she would know.
So, after that, things kept going and I was not speaking to her. I had two best friends, one lived with me and the other one lived in my city. So, we used to gather at my place every Sunday and do something. It would come, he and his friends. One day we were talking and this best friend of mine showed his cellphone to this other friend with messages from her. I know that because this friend used to message a girl even though I was already talking to her. And when he showed the message to this other friend (let’s call this one L, he is going to be important later), he looked at me and said “you are screwed” and then we changed the subject.
So, for the next month, I kept my normal life as normal but she and my other friend (let’s call him F) started acting suspicious with her. I tried believing him and pretended I was blind and did not give a damn but he would always make things for me which he did not used to do. He started changing things in his life like going to college all day which was a thing I used to ask him to do so I wouldn’t stay all day by myself in college. He would talk about friendship a lot. I would also reply normally and then I felt like he was being an asshole and got mad at him and stopped talking to him so he would understand that I would do what he was doing (mainly the reason was I would not do that to him). And once she said all of my friends were assholes (she was right in here at least). So, going forward, I would speak to him but if he needed something or talked to me, I would respond normally but was still mad because of all of my friends, he was the one I trusted the most. He acted as if nothing was wrong which I felt he was at the time.
Then one day we were at the basketball game and he said to a lot of teammates that I stopped talking to him and he did not know the motive. So, on Sunday at my house with my friend L, he asked if I was not talking to F. I said that we are kind of in the middle of a fight but if they wanted to call him, they could. Then L said he would not call him since we were not on good terms And then I said okay, and after that, he asked what the reason was. I told him the story, saying I was mad because I felt like F was manipulating me. L believed that my friend F was a good guy because he has a girlfriend and all (he betrayed her after 5 years of relationship with his neighbor, which I knew and L did not, and I did not tell him of course, I ain’t no snitch). So, days passed and it was the birthday of S’s cousins, which I used to go to in previous years, so it was planned (she and her cousins are very close) because his birthday this time was at a public place, in a bar to be more exact. After getting there, I had a surprise because she was with another guy at a table, so everyone got mad at me because “I fought my best friend because of her”.
So, one day after that, my “friend” L said everything to his friend (I’ll call this one Y). So, Y and her had a past together and he did not like her at all. He was my friend too, we’ve known each other for the past 8 years. And then this friend got mad at me as well and everyone started making jokes and all, and I said okay, maybe I was wrong and went to talk to F. I called this other friend to go with me at the time because we used to live together in the past and he grew up together with us. When we arrived at his place, he asked us to wait. So, when he arrived, we started talking. I said I would never do something to mess up his life and he said that everything I thought to be true was only things from my head (as if I was crazy). He said sorry for doing something I did not do and asked if we were alright, and then I said no, we were not. I asked him to come to my house the other day and he came but acted as if nothing was wrong. We talked, joked around, and he went away. I still did not understand, but something was off.
So, days come and everyone on the chat group started wishing I was dead every day, which I felt bad about, not gonna lie. And then the break from college came to an end and I got back to college. But when getting there to play basketball, everyone was acting strange with me. I’m kinda skinny, well I’m way too skinny (I weigh 88 pounds) and they were guarding me with everything they had. I did not understand why, but I quit and went home. The other day, I called my friend F and asked him if he told something to them and he said no, I did not say anything, and then went away. After that, I started asking myself what happened, which messes you up when everyone refuses to talk to you. So, I stopped going to college for a month and when I came back to college, everyone in the college was looking at me with disdain. A lot of them would look away when they saw me. I did not notice until I got to the classroom. When getting there, I chose my place and sat.
So, in this class, there is this girl (I’ll call her C). You know, from when I started college, I ain’t going to lie, she was my first passion. I used to go and wait for her bus to come and take her home and all of that, so she would not go alone at night. But then came the pandemic and we did not talk anymore (mainly my fault). So, coming back to the classroom, she got up and then looked at me. I would not say disgust, but like kinda mad at me, but I did not understand at the time. So, I asked this friend for his water bottle because I forgot mine and when I got up to go to the drinking fountain, he said you can right there, do not need to go anywhere. I did not understand what he was saying but did not give a damn because he is a really good friend, he kinda helped me. And then she got up again. I, knowing her, knew she was trying to tell me something but did not know what. Then this friend (I’ll call him P) asked me to tell the professor why I did not come to his class for almost a month and I said okay and went to talk to him. I said, while everyone was listening, that I did not come because somethings were happening in my life and then he said it’s okay. I went back to my place and at the end of the class, I went out to the bathroom and when I came back, my things were on the ground, which I did not notice why at all. And then this guy came to me and asked if those things that were on the ground were mine. I was making a group with this girl since when the professor asked if someone wanted to make groups with me, they all said no. The professor even asked like that “Why? You guys don’t like him?” I did not understand why as well and just laughed. So, this girl that was making a group with me, when I came back from the bathroom, asked me to take photos of the papers. I said that it did not need to and then she insisted and I said okay and took the photo. When I got home, I was looking at the photos of the papers and I saw a photo I did not remember taking. It was the legs of someone which I assumed took my cellphone and took it. I kinda went into my head thinking what caused this issue. And then I remembered something I told F a while ago because he knew about this girl from the past. So, one day I was in the classroom with She also got up and went to fill her water bottle. I asked her to fill mine as well, but when doing that, I kind of got up and she thought I would go with her, but I did not. :( When she came back, she sat at her chair and lied down, which made me feel bad because I like her. She did not come the next week and the next, she was sitting behind me. She had her bottle on the chair and then I asked her, ‘Can I take your bottle?’ She said, ‘For what?’ I took it anyways and filled her bottle, came back to class, and gave it to her. She said thank you and I told F about this situation, which I thought was the reason.
Then, the other day in the classroom, I came back because there was a misunderstanding and she did not come. I thought she did not want to talk to me and I did not come for the next 2 weeks. Then, I came back on test day and like always, I sit at the same place in the classroom and she knows that, so she sat close to me on the day, which made me happy. Her friends would come every so often and pretend like they would kick my backpack. She got angry at them, looked at them, and they stopped. Then, after that day, I do not know what she said, but everyone treated me normally with no issues and I could come back to college.
So, until here, I have a clue or other about what happened, but I still needed to know who would say something like this to mess me up. Then, I remembered Y because every time something would happen, he would post something on Instagram. When I came back to play basketball in my city, everyone was treating me like crap and then everyone was saying to me that Y was my rival. I did not care that much, I thought they were joking. Then, one of his friends asked if he could sleep in the republic with my mattress and I said, ‘Yes, you can.’ Days later, Y on the group chat asked this friend of his if things went all right and then he responded saying, ‘Yes, everything went all right.’ (He probably slept with S on my mattress.) So, I started asking why he would be so mad at me and something came to my head.
So, Y’s father died of cancer and one day, F and I were at his house. When we were getting out, F looked away and passed this door without looking. Then, I came behind him, looked at the room, and it was Y’s father. He could not talk because his cancer was on his tongue. I looked at him and gave him a thumbs up and he did the same to me. Then, out of his house, I asked F why he would look away in that situation and he said to me, ‘I can’t even look because I pity him.’ Then, I said I would not pity him because I would not like people to pity me. But what F said to him was something different and he believed it. Then, he started threatening, not directly of course, and saying things to all the city like I used to have this friend when growing up and he went to jail because he killed somebody. I told this thing that happened to my friend F that when we were young, 10 years old to be more exact, he kissed a girl I used to like and then I went home and started crying. I said that, but if I remember, in that house, the room where S stays, she can hear us and she probably told Y.
Then, I went to my friend who killed someone’s house (his mom sells food, I buy there since I was a kid). After getting there, I bought my food and when going home, his brother and his friend got up on a motorcycle and passed very close to me as if they were telling me something. I did not understand why as well, but after some time, I understood. So, he is probably not stopped until I’m dead or he kills me and since everyone believes him, I can’t do anything. So, I ask, what can I do in this situation?"

So the house I rent has roof damage from a storm earlier this year. I notified the landlord originally in February about this issue and now at least 5 other times since then. Before the start of this month he raised the rent on me by 100 bucks with a 9 day notice. But anytime I ask about the roof he always says the roof companies he’s called are “trying to fuck him” (I just think he’s cheap and doesn’t want to pay for it.) is there anyway I can legally withhold rent until I have enough to move into a new place or am I just fucked?
Also just some extra info I am on a month to month since I haven’t signed a new lease in three years. This is a private owned property not a company I’m dealing with.

Bought a house in my hometown. Day before I do my home inspection, a family member of mine walked to a family grave of ours in town and was accosted by a soon to be neighbor ( old dude a few houses down, not next to me ) acusing him of peepin in windows in houses in town, took cell phone pictures etc.. It's a very small rural town. Dude has legal walking streets/paths on front and back of his .2 acre looking property. His house is shit (apparently sold it but still lives there idk). My mom (in her 60s, double knee replacemens, hardly a threat to anyone), trying to defend my family member when they returned home to tell her the story, returned to the old dudes house to inquire about the treatment of my family member. He apparently knew who she was and told her to "get the fuck off of his property". She said "well fuck you too" as she turned around promptly and went off of his porch to return to her vehicle. He sprung from his house (was talking through a screen door the whole time apparently) and proceeds to kick my mom in her back (because she was walking away already). Dude has a no trespassing sign. Cops said they both could be at fault. No one thought to record the altercation. Nothing happened. I wasn't present for any of it.There is no dad figure, it's kind of me as the male role model.
If it matters, I learned Dude got divorced and had a stoke. But apparently also always been an asshole (but hasn't been the same since the stroke)....small town...everyone knows each other so it wasn't hard to learn about him. The nights are pretty dark in this town, and idk if the old dude has the brains or money for cameras, but motion lights might be a thing. He's probably always paranoid.
I'm pretty sure he doesn't know who I am (yet) or what I look like. He might just leave eventually if I wait long enough if he really did sell the house idk. But If I was to say, get a unethical pro life tip that would make me feel better about the situation, what could be done without painting a target on myself since I live just down the street?
Tldr: old dude kicked my elderly mom who was leaving his property on request and was only there trying to defend a family members right to walk to the local graveyard to visit a family grave. I havent even moved in yet down the street from the old dude.

So I've been having intermittent internet issues for about a month and consistently unusable internet for about a week.
I'll be getting my full speed down and up with low latency, then suddenly after anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour I'll start getting crazy inbound packet loss. If I'm on Discord while it's happening everyone else will sound robotic and nothing will load (or will load very slowly), but for them I sound normal. Sometimes I can get a speedtest to run and I'll have almost nothing for download but my full upload speed. The strange thing is if I restart my modem the problem will literally vanish, every time. But the issue will ALWAYS come back after some time.
I've obviously had my ISP send people out (for context, I live in an apartment with 12 units, this may be pertinent later), and they've never been able to give me a resolution to the problem or even positively isolate the issue. I had one Tech leave and call someone else in to finish the job because quote: "I'm tired of chasing ghosts in this building" (which I found hilarious more than anything). I'm assuming there's a lot going on in the networking stuff in the basement because they've been down there many times and for many hours in total trying to track down the problem.
Now fast forward to a few days ago, the last time I had someone out to look at it. This time around was different in that the tech actually seemed pretty positive on what the issue was. According to him the signal at the wall (coaxial) in my unit was clearly bad, but downstairs at the other end of that cable, the signal is good. So he was pretty certain the problem is actually the cable in the wall, which they unfortunately can't do anything with so I was referred to my landlord to resolve the issue.
Now my question is; does that sound plausible? I am by no means an expert but from what I've heard, these coaxial cables very rarely go bad and the issue usually lies in the splitters (which I assume there is a mess of down there considering the age of the building and the number units serviced). And along with that, how hard will it be for them to replace this cable? I've contacted the landlord and someone is coming to check it out in a couple days but I'm just worried they either won't replace it or that it won't even fix the issue.
Sorry if this was all over the place, I'll clarify anything needed in the comments, thanks

The story begins in 1968 on one of the deepest freshwater lakes, crater lake in Washington state. Marc a 23 year old explorer, loved camping fishing just getting away from it all. Marc grew up in a smaller town Moses Lake Washington. Its located off the interstate in between Spokane and Seattle Washington, Marc decided he wanted to go explore the crater Lake area only telling his mother and father where he was headed. “Expect me back in a week” Marc said bags packed loaded into his 2015 ford explorer.
He pulled out of the driveway waving goodbye to his mother. Little did they know this was the last time they would see eachother due to the events about to unfold. Marc jammed his favorite tunes the whole 3 hour trip to crater lake. He was there found his campsite right away, nobody was within a 300 yards of his secluded little spot. He unpacked put up his tent and was ready for a hike.
It was 330 in the afternoon on day 1 of his little vacation. When he took off on a steep rugged trail that made its way around the lake. Marc never was one to stay on the beaten path as he liked to explore and go places not many others have ever gone. After getting his fill of sights and feeling exhausted and hungry. Marc decided it was time to make his way back to camp. He made dinner drank a few beers that he enjoyed while camping and turned in for the night.
It was a quiet night and Marc found himself fast asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow, The next morning Marc was up early made some breakfast and packed a lunch for the long eventful day ahead. His plan being to go off the beaten path again and find some little streams to fish along the way. Marc hiked about 3-4 hours off the main trail and found a beautiful crystal clear brook with rapids flowing into some deeper holes.
Perfect for catching brook trout and that he did. using a panther Martin black with yellow dots and a silver spoon to mimic baitfish and it was the color that was always his go to. It wasn’t but his second cast and a nice 1lb brookie nailed his spinner and put up a little fight before Marc landed it and immediately gutted it and stored it away. Brook trout are one of best eating trout. Marc continued to climb up the stream to higher elevations hitting hole after home along the way.
The day went by quick as it was nearing dusk and Marc had caught 12 nice sized brook trout and a couple little cutthroat as well. Plenty to make a good 3 meals out of. Geared with only a flashlight and his pack fishing pole and fish cleaning supplies Marc made his way of what he thought was the way back out towards his camp.
Checking his watch on his phone Marc seen it was 11pm pitch black dark out now and he realized he had been walking long enough that he shoulda recognized some landmarks or where he had made his way in, but he didn’t recognize anything and with it being dark out he was even more lost.
Without panicking Marc decided to set up a little camp where he was. under some big pine trees surrounding the whole area next to another little stream that he stumbled into. Giant boulders made for a nice cover to keep himself tucked away in case any large animals might have passed by looking for a meal. Marc was aware he was in bear country as well as cougar and wolves.
Unable to catch any sleep Marc sat and built a little campfire cooked a few trout ate them and kept the fire stoked until the sun started peeking up over the mountains at around 445 am. As soon as he was ready to get back on track Marc looked around and realized where he was or so he thought. The little stream forked off and hooked around making a horseshoe type shape exactly like the one he had seen on his way in yesterday afternoon.
Marc now excited and in a hurry quickly hiked through the brush mixed in with pine trees away from the streams until he could no longer hear the flow of them. After walking a hood 3 hours Marc was starting to get frustrated that nothing was looking familiar to him again. It was now early afternoon and Marc knew he was lost the terrain looked all so similar and he had ventured actually two times as far away from his original camp.
Unaware of this Marc made his way to another stream and decided to follow it down the mountain hoping it would lead into a lake or maybe crater lake where he was camping. Marc hiked and jogged and was just enjoying the scenery when he stumbled upon an old looking cabin. The trees were really big blocking out most all the light from the sun here and even at about 5pm it seemed like it was getting dark.
Marc was feeling wore down he had hiked close to 35 miles the past two days trying to find his way back out. He decided to go check if the cabin was inhabited he went up yjj ok the door knocked three of four times. But nobody answered. So after about 10 minutes of waiting marc decided to peer into the window and could see some old handmade furniture a wood stove and a few other miscellaneous items on the floor.
It looked like nobody had been here for years like it was an old secret hunting cabin back in the woods that only a few if any people knew about. Marc noticed a little homemade sign on the wall that read lakeshore cabin #41. He tried the door assuming it was locked but it was not. So he went in as the night was creeping in fast. He gathered some wood put in the wood stove cooked up some more trout and was exhausted from no sleep the night before .
Marc used his pack as a pillow curled up in the corner of the living room by the wood stove and was gone into dreamland before he knew it. Marc’s phone battery was in the red line when he had woken up only 18% left. So he decided to write in his phone notes just in case something were to happen to him or he didn’t make it back out. As he was doing this and finishing up he felt like he was being watched. Just had an eerie unsettling feeling of an evil presence nearby.
This gave Marc anxiety so after noting all this in his phone he turned it off to then save energy. His last few words on his phone when it was discovered two years after a missing persons report was filed said im actually feeling scared like I gotta leave now so I’m going to leave the cabin and head west as far as I can before next nightfall. I love you mom and dad and I hope I see you guys soon.
This was the last anyone ever heard of Marc when his phone was found busted up 25 miles away from crater lake under a group of smaller pine trees. No foul play was discovered and not one sign of Marc or his belongings were ever found to this day. Some say he stumbled into a haunted cabin and something evil took him never to be seen again. Others say he just got lost and ran outta food and water and eventually had succumbed to dehydration and the animals cleaned him up. But no bones, pieces of clothing anything was ever found.
Marc’s parents were able to gather his original tent and camping supplies as that had not been messed with up by crater lake. What do you think happened to Marc? Was he abducted, torn to pieces by animals, something paranormal in those woods got him? Another unsolved missing person in the woods story. Where do these people go? What is happening to them?

The story begins in 1968 on one of the deepest freshwater lakes, crater lake in Washington state. Marc a 23 year old explorer, loved camping fishing just getting away from it all. Marc grew up in a smaller town Moses Lake Washington. Its located off the interstate in between Spokane and Seattle Washington, Marc decided he wanted to go explore the crater Lake area only telling his mother and father where he was headed. “Expect me back in a week” Marc said bags packed loaded into his 2015 ford explorer.
He pulled out of the driveway waving goodbye to his mother. Little did they know this was the last time they would see eachother due to the events about to unfold. Marc jammed his favorite tunes the whole 3 hour trip to crater lake. He was there found his campsite right away, nobody was within a 300 yards of his secluded little spot. He unpacked put up his tent and was ready for a hike.
It was 330 in the afternoon on day 1 of his little vacation. When he took off on a steep rugged trail that made its way around the lake. Marc never was one to stay on the beaten path as he liked to explore and go places not many others have ever gone. After getting his fill of sights and feeling exhausted and hungry. Marc decided it was time to make his way back to camp. He made dinner drank a few beers that he enjoyed while camping and turned in for the night.
It was a quiet night and Marc found himself fast asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow, The next morning Marc was up early made some breakfast and packed a lunch for the long eventful day ahead. His plan being to go off the beaten path again and find some little streams to fish along the way. Marc hiked about 3-4 hours off the main trail and found a beautiful crystal clear brook with rapids flowing into some deeper holes.
Perfect for catching brook trout and that he did. using a panther Martin black with yellow dots and a silver spoon to mimic baitfish and it was the color that was always his go to. It wasn’t but his second cast and a nice 1lb brookie nailed his spinner and put up a little fight before Marc landed it and immediately gutted it and stored it away. Brook trout are one of best eating trout. Marc continued to climb up the stream to higher elevations hitting hole after home along the way.
The day went by quick as it was nearing dusk and Marc had caught 12 nice sized brook trout and a couple little cutthroat as well. Plenty to make a good 3 meals out of. Geared with only a flashlight and his pack fishing pole and fish cleaning supplies Marc made his way of what he thought was the way back out towards his camp.
Checking his watch on his phone Marc seen it was 11pm pitch black dark out now and he realized he had been walking long enough that he shoulda recognized some landmarks or where he had made his way in, but he didn’t recognize anything and with it being dark out he was even more lost.
Without panicking Marc decided to set up a little camp where he was. under some big pine trees surrounding the whole area next to another little stream that he stumbled into. Giant boulders made for a nice cover to keep himself tucked away in case any large animals might have passed by looking for a meal. Marc was aware he was in bear country as well as cougar and wolves.
Unable to catch any sleep Marc sat and built a little campfire cooked a few trout ate them and kept the fire stoked until the sun started peeking up over the mountains at around 445 am. As soon as he was ready to get back on track Marc looked around and realized where he was or so he thought. The little stream forked off and hooked around making a horseshoe type shape exactly like the one he had seen on his way in yesterday afternoon.
Marc now excited and in a hurry quickly hiked through the brush mixed in with pine trees away from the streams until he could no longer hear the flow of them. After walking a hood 3 hours Marc was starting to get frustrated that nothing was looking familiar to him again. It was now early afternoon and Marc knew he was lost the terrain looked all so similar and he had ventured actually two times as far away from his original camp.
Unaware of this Marc made his way to another stream and decided to follow it down the mountain hoping it would lead into a lake or maybe crater lake where he was camping. Marc hiked and jogged and was just enjoying the scenery when he stumbled upon an old looking cabin. The trees were really big blocking out most all the light from the sun here and even at about 5pm it seemed like it was getting dark.
Marc was feeling wore down he had hiked close to 35 miles the past two days trying to find his way back out. He decided to go check if the cabin was inhabited he went up yjj ok the door knocked three of four times. But nobody answered. So after about 10 minutes of waiting marc decided to peer into the window and could see some old handmade furniture a wood stove and a few other miscellaneous items on the floor.
It looked like nobody had been here for years like it was an old secret hunting cabin back in the woods that only a few if any people knew about. Marc noticed a little homemade sign on the wall that read lakeshore cabin #41. He tried the door assuming it was locked but it was not. So he went in as the night was creeping in fast. He gathered some wood put in the wood stove cooked up some more trout and was exhausted from no sleep the night before .
Marc used his pack as a pillow curled up in the corner of the living room by the wood stove and was gone into dreamland before he knew it. Marc’s phone battery was in the red line when he had woken up only 18% left. So he decided to write in his phone notes just in case something were to happen to him or he didn’t make it back out. As he was doing this and finishing up he felt like he was being watched. Just had an eerie unsettling feeling of an evil presence nearby.
This gave Marc anxiety so after noting all this in his phone he turned it off to then save energy. His last few words on his phone when it was discovered two years after a missing persons report was filed said im actually feeling scared like I gotta leave now so I’m going to leave the cabin and head west as far as I can before next nightfall. I love you mom and dad and I hope I see you guys soon.
This was the last anyone ever heard of Marc when his phone was found busted up 25 miles away from crater lake under a group of smaller pine trees. No foul play was discovered and not one sign of Marc or his belongings were ever found to this day. Some say he stumbled into a haunted cabin and something evil took him never to be seen again. Others say he just got lost and ran outta food and water and eventually had succumbed to dehydration and the animals cleaned him up. But no bones, pieces of clothing anything was ever found.
Marc’s parents were able to gather his original tent and camping supplies as that had not been messed with up by crater lake. What do you think happened to Marc? Was he abducted, torn to pieces by animals, something paranormal in those woods got him? Another unsolved missing person in the woods story. Where do these people go? What is happening to them?

"So, basically, everything started 2 years ago when I moved to a new house in another city to finish my major in IT. In this republic where a lot of students live (8 at the time), my best friend and I went to live there. Upon arriving, I met this female (21), let’s call her S. We started talking and getting intimate even though she seemed like a good person. However, things happened and I tried to get away from her. But since she is crazy and we live in the same house, that did not work too well. She would do things like lock me in the house with her and hide the key, send her grandma to my house asking me to get with her, and all kinds of messed up things that I’m not writing here (if you want to know, ask in the comments).

It was basically more than a year like that. We were not in a relationship or anything, but that did not matter to her. Everyone at the republic knew but no one ever spoke about it and chose silence, even my best friend. I felt kind of bad because when he needed me, I was there for him. I tried to talk to him but he would always change the subject and did not like to get involved.
It was a year and a half like that. I literally would sleep from 2 am to 12 pm, wake up, go to college, and then come back at 11:00 pm so I wouldn’t interact with her. So, I started talking to a girl at my college and followed her on Instagram (I think that was my mistake where I am now). She followed me back. At first, I was really not looking for a relationship or anything, but I really liked her. She was a cool friend. But S did not like that, not even a little bit. How do I know that? I always was low profile. I did not like posting any photos on social media and all of that. My Instagram does not have a profile pic as well and I did not use it until recently, so I know that if I followed someone new, she would know.
So, after that, things kept going and I was not speaking to her. I had two best friends, one lived with me and the other one lived in my city. So, we used to gather at my place every Sunday and do something. It would come, he and his friends. One day we were talking and this best friend of mine showed his cellphone to this other friend with messages from her. I know that because this friend used to message a girl even though I was already talking to her. And when he showed the message to this other friend (let’s call this one L, he is going to be important later), he looked at me and said “you are screwed” and then we changed the subject.
So, for the next month, I kept my normal life as normal but she and my other friend (let’s call him F) started acting suspicious with her. I tried believing him and pretended I was blind and did not give a damn but he would always make things for me which he did not used to do. He started changing things in his life like going to college all day which was a thing I used to ask him to do so I wouldn’t stay all day by myself in college. He would talk about friendship a lot. I would also reply normally and then I felt like he was being an asshole and got mad at him and stopped talking to him so he would understand that I would do what he was doing (mainly the reason was I would not do that to him). And once she said all of my friends were assholes (she was right in here at least). So, going forward, I would speak to him but if he needed something or talked to me, I would respond normally but was still mad because of all of my friends, he was the one I trusted the most. He acted as if nothing was wrong which I felt he was at the time.
Then one day we were at the basketball game and he said to a lot of teammates that I stopped talking to him and he did not know the motive. So, on Sunday at my house with my friend L, he asked if I was not talking to F. I said that we are kind of in the middle of a fight but if they wanted to call him, they could. Then L said he would not call him since we were not on good terms And then I said okay, and after that, he asked what the reason was. I told him the story, saying I was mad because I felt like F was manipulating me. L believed that my friend F was a good guy because he has a girlfriend and all (he betrayed her after 5 years of relationship with his neighbor, which I knew and L did not, and I did not tell him of course, I ain’t no snitch). So, days passed and it was the birthday of S’s cousins, which I used to go to in previous years, so it was planned (she and her cousins are very close) because his birthday this time was at a public place, in a bar to be more exact. After getting there, I had a surprise because she was with another guy at a table, so everyone got mad at me because “I fought my best friend because of her”.
So, one day after that, my “friend” L said everything to his friend (I’ll call this one Y). So, Y and her had a past together and he did not like her at all. He was my friend too, we’ve known each other for the past 8 years. And then this friend got mad at me as well and everyone started making jokes and all, and I said okay, maybe I was wrong and went to talk to F. I called this other friend to go with me at the time because we used to live together in the past and he grew up together with us. When we arrived at his place, he asked us to wait. So, when he arrived, we started talking. I said I would never do something to mess up his life and he said that everything I thought to be true was only things from my head (as if I was crazy). He said sorry for doing something I did not do and asked if we were alright, and then I said no, we were not. I asked him to come to my house the other day and he came but acted as if nothing was wrong. We talked, joked around, and he went away. I still did not understand, but something was off.
So, days come and everyone on the chat group started wishing I was dead every day, which I felt bad about, not gonna lie. And then the break from college came to an end and I got back to college. But when getting there to play basketball, everyone was acting strange with me. I’m kinda skinny, well I’m way too skinny (I weigh 88 pounds) and they were guarding me with everything they had. I did not understand why, but I quit and went home. The other day, I called my friend F and asked him if he told something to them and he said no, I did not say anything, and then went away. After that, I started asking myself what happened, which messes you up when everyone refuses to talk to you. So, I stopped going to college for a month and when I came back to college, everyone in the college was looking at me with disdain. A lot of them would look away when they saw me. I did not notice until I got to the classroom. When getting there, I chose my place and sat.
So, in this class, there is this girl (I’ll call her C). You know, from when I started college, I ain’t going to lie, she was my first passion. I used to go and wait for her bus to come and take her home and all of that, so she would not go alone at night. But then came the pandemic and we did not talk anymore (mainly my fault). So, coming back to the classroom, she got up and then looked at me. I would not say disgust, but like kinda mad at me, but I did not understand at the time. So, I asked this friend for his water bottle because I forgot mine and when I got up to go to the drinking fountain, he said you can right there, do not need to go anywhere. I did not understand what he was saying but did not give a damn because he is a really good friend, he kinda helped me. And then she got up again. I, knowing her, knew she was trying to tell me something but did not know what. Then this friend (I’ll call him P) asked me to tell the professor why I did not come to his class for almost a month and I said okay and went to talk to him. I said, while everyone was listening, that I did not come because somethings were happening in my life and then he said it’s okay. I went back to my place and at the end of the class, I went out to the bathroom and when I came back, my things were on the ground, which I did not notice why at all. And then this guy came to me and asked if those things that were on the ground were mine. I was making a group with this girl since when the professor asked if someone wanted to make groups with me, they all said no. The professor even asked like that “Why? You guys don’t like him?” I did not understand why as well and just laughed. So, this girl that was making a group with me, when I came back from the bathroom, asked me to take photos of the papers. I said that it did not need to and then she insisted and I said okay and took the photo. When I got home, I was looking at the photos of the papers and I saw a photo I did not remember taking. It was the legs of someone which I assumed took my cellphone and took it. I kinda went into my head thinking what caused this issue. And then I remembered something I told F a while ago because he knew about this girl from the past. So, one day I was in the classroom with She also got up and went to fill her water bottle. I asked her to fill mine as well, but when doing that, I kind of got up and she thought I would go with her, but I did not. :( When she came back, she sat at her chair and lied down, which made me feel bad because I like her. She did not come the next week and the next, she was sitting behind me. She had her bottle on the chair and then I asked her, ‘Can I take your bottle?’ She said, ‘For what?’ I took it anyways and filled her bottle, came back to class, and gave it to her. She said thank you and I told F about this situation, which I thought was the reason.
Then, the other day in the classroom, I came back because there was a misunderstanding and she did not come. I thought she did not want to talk to me and I did not come for the next 2 weeks. Then, I came back on test day and like always, I sit at the same place in the classroom and she knows that, so she sat close to me on the day, which made me happy. Her friends would come every so often and pretend like they would kick my backpack. She got angry at them, looked at them, and they stopped. Then, after that day, I do not know what she said, but everyone treated me normally with no issues and I could come back to college.
So, until here, I have a clue or other about what happened, but I still needed to know who would say something like this to mess me up. Then, I remembered Y because every time something would happen, he would post something on Instagram. When I came back to play basketball in my city, everyone was treating me like crap and then everyone was saying to me that Y was my rival. I did not care that much, I thought they were joking. Then, one of his friends asked if he could sleep in the republic with my mattress and I said, ‘Yes, you can.’ Days later, Y on the group chat asked this friend of his if things went all right and then he responded saying, ‘Yes, everything went all right.’ (He probably slept with S on my mattress.) So, I started asking why he would be so mad at me and something came to my head.
So, Y’s father died of cancer and one day, F and I were at his house. When we were getting out, F looked away and passed this door without looking. Then, I came behind him, looked at the room, and it was Y’s father. He could not talk because his cancer was on his tongue. I looked at him and gave him a thumbs up and he did the same to me. Then, out of his house, I asked F why he would look away in that situation and he said to me, ‘I can’t even look because I pity him.’ Then, I said I would not pity him because I would not like people to pity me. But what F said to him was something different and he believed it. Then, he started threatening, not directly of course, and saying things to all the city like I used to have this friend when growing up and he went to jail because he killed somebody. I told this thing that happened to my friend F that when we were young, 10 years old to be more exact, he kissed a girl I used to like and then I went home and started crying. I said that, but if I remember, in that house, the room where S stays, she can hear us and she probably told Y.
Then, I went to my friend who killed someone’s house (his mom sells food, I buy there since I was a kid). After getting there, I bought my food and when going home, his brother and his friend got up on a motorcycle and passed very close to me as if they were telling me something. I did not understand why as well, but after some time, I understood. So, he is probably not stopped until I’m dead or he kills me and since everyone believes him, I can’t do anything. So, I ask, what can I do in this situation?"

I love ESO. I really, REALLY do. But every time I return to it and try making it my main MMO, I encounter the same issue. And I'm really not sure how to solve it because I tried everything I can.
Group play is a gigantic mess. The idea of signing up for a dungeon fills me with so much frustration every single time. You can toss a coin and one of two things will happen. A) I get a dungeon I've been to before and it's somewhat fine. Still super hectic but I get it. People run these dungeons since years and they want to get through them as fast as possible. It only becomes a Problem wenn B) happens. I've never been to the dungeon and now I need to be hyper focused on EVERYTHING. Not only myself and the enemies. Where is my party? Do we skip this trash? Why do we skip this trash but not the one before that? Where are people running all of the sudden? Oh damn, my questmarker is somewhere 2 rooms back now because I had no time to wait for the NPC to finish their dialogue. Or wasn't even aware that there was something I had to wait for. And tadaaa I'm standing in the final room. Alone. No hello, no bye, nothing in the chat. It feels like everyone I play with could quiet as well be a group of AI I can hire to play through the content on my terms.
I want to get into ESO group gameplay. Thats my main goal every time I return. But after playing for a while, I'm just so done with everything actual MMO related. This game is so good when playing through story and exploring the world. And then it breaks apart (for me) the moment other people are required.
Chat is constantly ignored by everyone. Even when you type that this is your first time doing this dungeon, and if it's ok that I do the quest. Nothing. Sometimes quests are not finished because we skip something. Or I wasn't aware I needed to wait for an NPC and everyone else was already two rooms further. And since I am a healer, I can't just no follow the group? Or can I? Quest enemies sometimes die before the quest even updated. So that's not working most of the time. What do I do? I get myself a Guild.
Now... Maybe I was incredible unlucky. But the last 3 times I returned, I joined a different PvE guild. And my group chat experience sadly extends to guilds. Ingame chat is mostly ignored. You try forming a group for dungeons in this PvE and beginner friendly guild, but nobody wants to run them. You try getting people together for World Boss runs. Nope, not happening.
This game always feels like a very good single player experience, with an multiplayer aspect most of the community doesn't care for, or actively avoids. I played a lot of solo friendly MMO's, but I never felt so alone and frustrated about everything group play related, than in this game. It starts from simple interactions in random dungeons, and ends at the absolute inability to put groups together in PvE guilds. As I said, maybe the last one was just me being incredible unlucky.
I'm just at a loss again... I want to play ESO. But I really don't understand how this community works or what I'm doing wrong. Maybe I have different expectations or don't understand things fully. But if the extend of playing this game is purely solo gameplay, then I might just as well go back to heavily modded Skyrim and Oblivion. I will stick to it for now, since Gold Road releases soon. And I try to get into an active guild around release. Since that's probably the time most people are playing. Maybe this way I will actually get a satisfying group experience. But if that failes as well, I'm giving up on the group play aspect and treat it as a single player game. What would be damn shame because some of the Veteran dungeons and Trials look sick as fuck.

You make pretty regrettable mistakes when you're desperate. Unfortunately, desperation would go on to cost me much more than I ever thought possible.
When I was 19 years old my financial situation wasn't great. In what was left of a crumbling home would be my recovering addict twin sister, and myself. The unfortunate state of our home was all from the even more unfortunate passing of our parents just five years prior. The two hadn't died tragically by any means, thankfully. No.. our parents died of old age, a consequence of having us kids later in life, while not being able to take on the financial burden that would be.. us.
My sister was making the early steps into the college lifestyle, doing her best to stay afloat with my support in funding. Money was tight for the two of us, but as she became more well off on her own, the more content she was with severing the last remaining tie to her childhood.. me.
I didn't hate Xel for her decision, if anything I understood her distancing from this life.. even if it saddened me. So then it was just me! Left to a house with a hole in the ceiling. Believe it or not, life wasn't all to bad even with how considerably down in the dumps it otherwise seemed to be.
However, content as I might have been, it's human nature to want more than you have. Can't say I was to greedy to look for some comfortability in my own home..
And so there it was! The glistening letters of ink outlining my salvation. An advertisement I'd found plastered onto the wall of the small booth I sat at while I waited for the bus to carry me off to work. "$5,000 to those compatible for a recent scientific breakthrough." Under any 'normal' circumstances I would consider this a scam. Hell, I was skeptical as I scanned the letters. Had I been told of this opportunity through spam call or text I would've glossed right over it just as anyone else would have.. but I was desperate.
I think it was the fact that someone, some real person had to have put this paper up on this wall gave me some glimmer of hope for a quick cash grab. Listed bellow the promise of money was details for a number to call regarding interest in the proposition.
I took the bait.. I saw the line, and like some idiot I clamped my teeth down just for that hook to sweep me away.
The corporation I'd come to know as, "The Arsaction," would see me just a week later. There was a brief consultation. They took my weight, age, all things I would've expected. It wasn't until they pulled records regarding my familial situation that I began to find this whole ordeal.. suspicious.
To 'begin' to find things suspicious only at this point is foolish, something I full understand, but I feel the need to reinforce the fact that I, Lex McKarthy, was desperate.
Everything by this point seemed pretty legit. The blood tests, the doctors office, the tests were.. reasonable. What was I to suspect? Everything was so vague, and truth be told I honestly didn't even expect anything to come of this visit. All the doctors, all the consultants seemed so disinterested in my features.. but when they realized I had no one, everything seemed to change.
Suddenly ears perked, suddenly doors closed, suddenly I was.. exactly what they were looking for. Every feature of myself was so painfully average. I was anyman, I was.. nothing. Despite their best efforts to be discreate, I knew it was only the fact that nobody would come looking for me that peaked their interests.
My stomach dropped when I was faced with a pen in my hand, trembling over that NDA. Every fiber of me cursed myself for never considering putting just a minute of research into 'The Arsaction,' however a video briefing would ease my nerves. Nobody knew who The Arsaction was. There was no public record of their existence, and that NDA would make sure that they continued to never exist.
I was stupid, I was irrational, I was in over my head! But I was desperate.. and I had nothing else.
"I have nothing else.. I have nothing else!"
It was a mantra I chanted as I was injected with that substance. The substance that turned my blood orange, made my skin freakishly thin.
And then I went home.
That was it. I was given my sum of money, and I was sent home. They told me I was, "good to go," and no number of questions would get a one of them to speak. I was only met with who I'd assume to be security guiding me out of the building.
Not a word more of what I'd just been injected with, only given instructions to not dwell on mirrors for too long. That was it, just some ominous instructions. So I left, as befuddled as I arrived. Relief washed over me as I made my way home. The anxiety I'd received from such an ominous buildup was all waved by the fact that I was somehow just.. good to go?
Relief quickly turned to panic as the inherent nature of it all being too good to be true set in. I expected to die, I expected some visit from government agents, I expected anything and everything, but as months turned to years.. Nothing ever came of it. No mirror ever caused me any harm, which was its own anxiety I'd have to overcome simply because of the absurd nature or such a request.
I hoped it was.. some prank. Everything was well... for a time. Until my sister called.
I just.. watched the phone ring. My sister, someone who I hadn't spoken to in upwards of 8 years was suddenly ringing me up. When I finally had answered, her question left me speechless.
"Hey Lex. would you happen to remember Mom's recipe for that egg toast? I think I left the cookbook at your place."
I felt my ears ring. The question was so.. casual. She entirely skipped the part where we discussed how she's been, how I'm doing. She spoke to me like we'd hung out only days ago.
At the time I'd thought I was just being dramatic, but looking back on it I can only justify my own hesitation to respond.
"W-..what?"
I stammered like a fool, but I was firm in my disbelief.
"Yeah, it should be in the book on the counter?"
I looked over my shoulder to my kitchen counter, past the toaster I never bought, and over to the book she spoke of. My jaw hung heavy, the whole interaction feeling like a dream.
With one hand I held the phone, and with the other I began to skim the pages of the book letting my eyes linger on mom's cinnamon roll recipe for a bit longer than intended.
"Lex.. are you ok?"
My sister inquired on the other end. I suddenly felt sick.. falling the the ground and laying on my back. This wasn't happening. It never did.
"Lex? Are you alright!?"
My sister repeated back more urgently, followed by her assurance that she would be over soon to check on him. But.. no company ever arrived. After hours the line just dropped, and I fell asleep there on that cold, wooden floor, paralyzed with a feeling I couldn't wrap my head around.
This never happened.
I never left.
I woke up in my bed in a cold sweat. I checked the time, greeted with a humble 4:37 in the morning. What troubled me was the fact that the date had been set back 7 years.
Of course it wasn't all so clear to me. After 7 long years I'd honestly forgotten about this day. This was the day that I'd set out for my graciously provided $5,000
7 years of my fucking life.. I would chalk it all up to that.. STUFF that they injected me with.. what was it? Phantom Drive? I could call it all some terrible drug trip, some construct defined by some insane psychedelic, but if that were the case, how was I here now? BEFORE I'd ever taken the drug?
This is a dream. I convinced myself I hadn't miraculously gone back in time, that 7 years of my life weren't a lie, but if that were the case, why was my blood still that damn orangy hue?
I'm losing sleep over this itch in my brain. It's like some taste of blood in my mouth has soured out the idea that letting my eyelids squeeze shut could further obscure my definite understanding of when I stood.
A day I remember so vividly at the ripe age of 14 years old, now 12 years ago, I awoke to the sweet smell of cinnamon rolls filling the air. All was right with the world, all as I climbed from the messy sheets in my dark room. It was abundantly clear that the bulb of the light beside my bed had burnt out over the course of the night, and the closed blinds didn't aid my vision as I stumbled around my room in search of my door.
An oddity presented itself in the fashion of aimless wondering. Where was the nob? One I'd become so accustomed to.. not needing to open? I'd never closed my door. Not the previous night, not ever. Not to the behest of my mother who'd always taken annoyance to closed doors, some trait of my grandmother's to which my mom had unfortunately inherited.
Breakfast took the form of two strips of bacon, scrambled eggs, and slightly burnt French-Toast. My previous assumption of cinnamon rolls unfortunately missed the mark, however I wouldn't object to this. I wish I could convince myself that I was wrong. Something so mundane, something so insignificant to the events in this story, however the first notable instance of a curse that I couldn't pinpoint
My mother had already seen herself off to work by this point, and so I was faced with the responsibilities of seeing myself out to the bus. Some routine I'd become far too used to; The minutes passed, leaving me with nothing to do but wait by the door for a buss that would never arrive.
If the door being shut and the cinnamon rolls being a different meal entirely had left me with a minor confusion, then suddenly being seated in the passenger seat of my mother's car listening to the nonchalant complaints from my twin sister about the nuances freshmen year math shot me into a disarray I couldn't possibly quantify.
I think one of the scariest things for me is the fact that I thought nothing of it. I hadn't freaked out. No scene was made to express what should have been one of the more disturbing instances of my childhood.
I could chalk up the mistaking breakfast for something else as me just misremembering events.. But something unmistakable is the fact that somehow my mom both never drove me to school, yet the fact that she.. always had.
If you're confused, I understand. I am too, because the contradicting nature of my memory is something that haunts me to no end.
Things were easier as a child. That's often the case, but ever sense I stopped aging, I've begun to notice the oddities presented by life that are.. inexplainable. I'm not even sure where to start with researching my predicament. Hell, this is reddit! If I couldn't find an answer here, I doubt there is an answer to be found at all.
The Mandela Effect is something that I feel needs no introduction. To those who don't know, the Mandela Effect, in brief, is a phenomenon that incurs when you "misremember" something. Think of a card, now imagine you saw that card as a child and it had a single heart drawn on it's center. Now, years later you are discussing this card with someone else just for them to tell you that the heart you swear, the heart you KNOW you saw.. was a diamond. You tell them they are wrong, you shake your head, chuckle nervously.. But then they present you with the card.
Your stomach drops. This can't be the card, there is no way! Only it is the card, and when you come to the realization that it is in fact the card you'd seen as a child, you are filled with a mix of confusion, fascination, and quite possibly denial.
Most often, the Mandela Effect is associated with silly things like books titles, and board game mascots, but my experience is far beyond such things. It's the only phenomenon I've found that seems even within the realm of explaining my predicament. Problem is, the more I think, the more is wrong.
All of me wishes it all ended with that one childhood experience! But it didn't. In fact, the more I consider my childhood, the more contradictions I notice. Part of me believes I could handle this if it was limited to my childhood, but it's not. This.. experience... It effects my every day!
I'm not losing my mind, I'm just picking up crumbs that I never dropped. Not.. losing my mind, just finding more "mind" than the inventory should account for.

DISCLAIMER This is nothing more than my opinions based off of observation of recovery content from five different platforms. There are likely things that I have missed, gotten wrong, or you disagree with and I am open to discuss that. ALSO, I am in recovery myself(not recovered), so I apologise if any of this appears to be disordered.
It is so horrible that social media must now serve as a platform for the theatrics of eating disorders, it is so highly disturbing. It certainly adds another layer of complexity to the illnesses, as those who have never sought attention for their disorder are taunted to by whoever promotes it on social media. I wish that governments would take this as a sign that more awareness of EDs are needed, but they are never even mentioned.
Treatment NEEDS to adapt to the effects of social media, and needs to stop encouraging those who are discharged to create recovery accounts (I have heard stories of this.)
These poor girls and boys are literally killing themselves in front of an audience, one that is uneducated and unaware of what their response to that content may have on the creator.
Furthermore, the constantly recurring posts of ‘symptoms of EDs that are never spoken about’ are almost always the most common, however that is not what angers me. What angers me is that awareness of eating disorders is so low, despite the fact that social media has made it easier than ever for organisations to spread a message. If awareness of the effects of eating disorders was raised, recovery creators would have no reason to be the awareness themselves. Many recovery accounts use the excuse that they create their content for others to not feel alone, which should NEVER be the responsibility of the sufferers. Those who have recovered or are treatment providers, who have the mental capacity and flexibility to recognise the true effects of their eating disorder should be the voice regarding ED awareness. Those who are still in their eating disorder, no matter how far in recovery they are- until they can confidently announce that they are recovered and their behaviour constantly reflects that (not just 90% of the time), they should not be trying to spread awareness. Most of us in this sub have suffered from an ED, and know that posts can be ‘ED-coded’ subconsciously and unintentionally, in a way that only other disordered individuals may perceive.
Finally, I believe that the transformation videos, i.e. before and after, regardless of body checks, can actually do more damage to those who are not already suffering than recognised. These videos also do damage to those with eating disorders with less ‘severity’. For those who are not disordered, these videos can almost make them feel as though they must suffer in that same way so that they can achieve that utmost happiness in life, similarly to how many EDs may promise recovery after a certain milestone. Whilst I can understand reaping the benefits of recovery is obviously helpful as an oversight, it majorly depends on the content provided as to whether or not it will cause more harm or help.
PS: I will likely edit this as responses come through, as I am very curious to see other people’s opinions and annoyances.

I am a 26-year-old fit male (178cm, ~70kg, do calisthenics, wall climbing, running regularly, not drinking, not smoking, not on any medications) having issues with a bounding pulse. I have a normal heart rate (~50 when sleeping, 60-80 during the day, 187 was the largest I have measured during running) and normal blood pressure (110/70, sometimes it goes slightly over 120, which is "elevated"), but, for more than a year, I can feel and see my pulse when resting.
How it started: More than a year ago, I was really stressed. Many things added up, including family issues, a lot of work to do, finishing exams for the master's, starting a PhD, I was not sure what career path to choose, and preparing for my first public speech at a conference was also frustrating. That was the time when it started. I started to notice my heartbeat when resting, and then, at meetings, when I had to pay attention to others, I was entirely distracted by my heartbeat. I felt it mainly in my temple and neck. The strongest pulsation was the night before my conference presentation. I had a flight at night and arrived at my apartment, but there was no receptionist. As it turned out, there was an automatic check-in system, but my department (who booked the accommodation) forgot to forward me the email and the code. It was hard to reach anyone at night, but the awkward situation was solved after an hour. In addition, I was already nervous because I had never been to a conference, had never had to do small talk in English, or had never given a presentation to a lot of people in English. That night, I had difficulties falling asleep. All I could hear was my heartbeat, and the pounding in my temple was the strongest I had ever felt, which, of course, also increased my nervousness. Since then, although not that profound, I feel my heartbeat when resting.
After a while, I started to feel the pulse in my chest and some arrhythmias as well. I went to my GP, who sent me to a cardiologist. They were not really concerned about the pounding heartbeat, only the arrhythmias. My heart rate and blood pressure were normal, and the echocardiography and electrocardiography showed nothing. Then I had a Holter monitoring and had some NSVTs near bedtime that I could feel precisely. I was told to take magnesium, which made sense as I exercise regularly, and I always had muscle twitching basically all over my body. Since I take magnesium supplements, the arrhythmias and muscle twitching are gone, so I consider this matter closed.
I did some blood tests but found nothing worrying. As always, my total cholesterol and LDL are around the top, while the HDL is around the bottom threshold of the acceptable region. I have also checked for lipoA and apoB, as strokes have appeared among my ancestors, but they were also in the normal range. My morning serum cortisol was slightly elevated (789.4 nmol/L). My TSH was also slightly elevated (6.840 mIU/L), while free T3 and T4 levels were normal (which might be subclinical hypothyroidism, but I do not show the other symptoms).
This year was much less stressful. I tried to pay attention to not be anxious (I even started to meditate, although it did not go well, as all I could focus on when I calmed down and closed my eyes was my heartbeat). However, I can feel my pulse bounding ever since. (maybe it always was, but I have never attended to it before)

• I feel it in my chest, neck, and head (sometimes in my temple, sometimes in my eyes as well).
• It is the strongest after I wake up, before I go to bed, or when I am resting in general.
• Sometimes, during sports, I feel high pressure in my head in specific positions (handstand or back lever, but even in less demanding positions such as the child pose in yoga) when my head is below or in line with my center of mass.
• It is also visible. For example, when I lie down, the pulsation is clearly visible in my chest and stomach (even when standing, but not that strong). I can also see it in the mirror on my neck. When I dive into the water, my heartbeat generates concentric waves starting from my chest (especially after diving into cold water after the sauna).

Do you have any ideas about what can be behind this? Maybe stress, something with my TSH, or perhaps all of it is normal, but I started to attend to it after my arrhythmias.

I'm (23F) dating for the first time in my life with a guy (24M) I really like. We've been hanging out for a bit less than a month. He's caring, we spend time together, have been intimate with each other, he compliments me and is now also a bit more willing to show intimacy publicly (holding hands, putting his hand around my waist, little kisses etc.). Everything seems to be going great but over the last few days I've had massive anxiety. I can't stop thinking about what he actually thinks of me and whether he's really into me. I also told him about my worries and he said I should just be myself and I'm totally overthinking. He's done nothing to trigger my worries and anxiety, but I can't stop those ruminating thoughts. I've had negative experiences in the past so that might be the reason, but I'm worried that instead of being excited and happy, I'm super tired and emotionally drained because of that twirl of negative thoughts.
One thing that makes me anxious is that we don't text that much. I'm not always very fast to answer, but I'm worried about bothering him and being too much. I thought about discussing my fears with him (he said that if I wanted to talk about sth, he's happy to listen), but I don't want to seem hysterical. I've told him I like him and he's expressed his fear of not doing everything right and being afraid of what I think of all that, but for some reason I still doubt he could have interest in me.
Maybe you've been in a similar situation and have some advice for me, I'd be very thankful!