Poems with a lot of figurative language

TL;DR Mawage. Mawage is what bwings us togethah today. Mawwiage, that bwessed awwangement, that dweam wifin a dream!
Our Chairman and these Regarded APES have come here to make this tweasured agweement in front of their family and fwiends, pwomising their commitment in this holy and magnificent pwace, today and each day fowawd.
We would not be here today without wuv. Wuv, twoo wuv between these two. Twoo wuv will follow you forevah, so tweasure your wuv, Mr. Chairman with your Highly Regarded Apes, always.
My wife of 21yrs, who is pursuing her doctorate in Psychology to enhance her Marriage and Family counseling practice, has always been a supportive listener, especially throughout this saga. We watched together the events in 2021 unfold in real-time and in a recent discussion concerning market manipulations and the media's role in it all she interjected with unexpected psychological insights. What felt like a gentle change in the subject matter led to an unexpected and insightful conversation about narcissists, divorcing a narcissist, and the tactics of navigating them in your personal and professional lives.
Miracle Max: “'To blave.' And as we all know, 'to blave' means 'to bluff.' So, you're probably playing cards and he cheated…”
Did you know that there are divorce attorneys who specialize in dealing with cases involving narcissistic spouses? These attorneys are typically well-versed in high-conflict divorce scenarios and understand the psychological dynamics that can arise when one party exhibits narcissistic behaviors. They focus on strategies to manage manipulation, gaslighting, and other tactics that a narcissistic spouse might use to control or prolong legal proceedings.
Specialized attorneys in this area offer guidance on how to maintain clear and documented communication, set firm boundaries, and protect oneself legally and emotionally. Their expertise is particularly valuable in helping clients navigate the complexities of custody battles, financial disputes, and other contentious issues where a narcissistic spouse may attempt to use legal strategies to their advantage.
During our conversation my highly regarded ape-ette, outlined a total of 7 “Acts” in the Narcissist’s playbook.”

1. Denial
2. Minimization
3. Deflection
4. Rationalization
5. Displacement
6. Generalization
7. Victim Blaming

If you have ever had dealings with a Narcissist you know all to well these acts are rarely played in any kind of orderly fashion. Infact, their “playbill” is so well known that a short poem was created by Dyana Craig called “The Narcissist's Prayer”:

1. That didn't happen.
2. And if it did, it wasn't that bad.
3. And if it was, that's not a big deal.
4. And if it is, that's not my fault.
5. And if it was, I didn't mean it.
6. And if I did, you deserved it.

For the purposes of this post and to fully wrap our heads around the manipulative actions by those in the media, the financial system, in government, or our personal lives, we expanded upon the above as follows:

1. "That did not occur."
2. "And if it did, it was not that severe."
3. "And if it was, it is not a significant matter."
4. "And if it is, it is not my fault."
5. "And if it was, I did not intend it."
6. "And if I did, there were extenuating circumstances."
7. "And if there weren't, you provoked me into it."
8. "And if you didn't, others would have reacted the same way."
9. "And if they wouldn’t, the real issue is being blown out of proportion."
10. "And if it isn't, everyone makes mistakes."
11. "And if they don’t, I am under a lot of stress."
12. "And if I did, you deserved it."

These 12 narcissistic acts can be grouped into these stages that reflect a progression in the way responsibility, blame, and reality are manipulated by the media.
Stage 1: Denial

• "That did not occur." - Absolute refusal to acknowledge the reality of the event.

Stage 2: Minimization

• "And if it did, it was not that severe."
• "And if it was, it is not a significant matter." - These steps serve to downplay the severity and importance of the event, suggesting it is unworthy of concern or reaction.

Stage 3: Deflection

• "And if it is, it is not my fault."
• "And if it was, I did not intend it." - Shifts focus from the act itself to the intention behind it or external factors, deflecting responsibility away from the self.

Stage 4: Rationalization

• "And if I did, there were extenuating circumstances."
• "And if there weren't, you provoked me into it."
• "And if you didn't, others would have reacted the same way." - Attempts to provide reasons or excuses for the behavior that justify it or align it with normal responses.

Stage 5: Displacement

• "And if they wouldn’t, the real issue is being blown out of proportion." - This step attempts to shift the discussion from the actions to the reactions of others, suggesting an overreaction.

Stage 6: Generalization

• "And if it isn't, everyone makes mistakes."
• "And if they don’t, I am under a lot of stress." - These steps attempt to dilute personal responsibility by invoking common human faults or personal stress, suggesting that any errors are part of broader, understandable human conditions.

Stage 7: Victim Blaming

• "And if I did, you deserved it." - The final step, which shifts all remaining blame to the victim, positioning them as deserving of the actions or consequences.

These stages reflect a progression from outright denial to subtle and overt forms of manipulation, ending with a complete inversion of blame. Each stage is designed to protect the narcissist’s self-image and deflect any responsibility for their actions onto others or external circumstances.
For those of use that have been around since the beginning and has endured all of the above reminds me of one of my favorite parts in the Princess Bride:
Westley: Aha! Your pig fiance is too late! A few more steps and we'll be safe in the fire swamp. Buttercup: We'll never survive. Westley: Nonsense! You're only saying that because no one ever has. Westley: It's not that bad...Well I'm not saying I'd like to build a summer home here but the trees are actually quite lovely.
We begin unwinding all financial and manipulative aspects of the now very dead relationship that once existed. We document everything and those weary and nervous and we pick back up with…
Buttercup: We'll never succeed. We may as well die here. Westley: No, no. We have already succeeded. I mean, what are the three terrors of the Fire Swamp? One, the flame spurt - no problem. There's a popping sound preceding each; we can avoid that. Two, the lightning sand, which you were clever enough to discover what that looks like, so in the future we can avoid that too…
We navigate the shills, the media pundits, and hedge fund market making Mayo loving thunts, aka the R.O.U.S’s. Through it all, we arrive at the events of the day! Our mascot triumphantly returns and now the Media is pulling a Prince Humperdink as if we are going to fall for it.
Buttercup: We did it! Westley: Now, was that so terrible? Humperdink: Surrender! Westley: You mean you wish to surrender to me? Very well then, I accept. Humperdink: I give you full marks for bravery. Don't make yourself a fool. Westley: Ah, but how will you capture us? We know the secrets of the fire swamp. We can live there happily for some time, so whenever you feel like dying, feel free to visit.
Navigating and enduring the demise of your first narcissist relationship is, in my opinion, the fire swamp. Reading all the DD ( • )( • ) and easily recognizing all of manipulations and cheating tactics being used and not reacting to them is what makes apes say “We can live there happily for some time, so whenever you feel like dying, feel free to visit.”
Last but not least… our current marriage to our chairman, is bliss compared to our prior sham marriage where belief in a free and fair once existed. Remember, narcissists are married to the devil for time and all eternity!
I share this so that further discussion can continue and help everyone understand the kinds of people we are up against. They will never change, they will never care, and if they are fined or even found guilty of a crime, they will always and forever be the victim.

Hi Linux friends I'm turning to you as I'm out of resources. I recently installed Ubuntu Studio on my Mac Pro hoping to move all my audio recording to Linux for good. I usually work with Arch for software engineering but wanted to avoid all the Pipewire/Jack configuration so I went with Ubuntu Studio.
Problem is that I have audio crackling in pretty much all the DAW I tried. The computer shouldn't be the problem in terms of resources I think, it has:

• 2x 6 core Xeon CPU (hyperthreaded to 12 so total of 24 "cores");
• 64gb of RAM;
• GTX680; I'm running Nouveau instead of the Nvidia drivers, with Nvidia, the desktop environment simply not load at all, I tried a couple of things but the only thing that made it work was to move to Nouveau. I order an R9 280X hoping it'll be less a pain to have the OG drivers running;
• 500gb SSD;

For the DAWS:

• In Studio One; When the window is focus the crackling is insanely annoying, there's a lot of it even in track monitoring. Interesting thing is that once the window is not focus (on another desktop for instance), the crackling almost stops, it's still there but really less important. The UI is glitchy since it requires Vulkan and Nouveau doesn't have support for it but it's decent enough to just work. I don't think that should impact audio though
• In Bitwig Studio; Still crackling either in playback or recording, less than Studio One but I can still hear it.
• In Ardour; I have noticed it much to be honest but I just don't know it much, like I can't figure how to change the audio settings and I simply have no output.

I get the same either in 48k/64 samples or 44k/1024 samples
I'm thinking that there might be some OS configuration I need to do to tell these software to use as much CPU as they want but I never had to configure that before I can't find useful information.
I'd appreciate if anyone can help me! Thanks!

At my lowest when I was restricting I had TERRIBLE body dysmorphia, I never felt as skinny as I looked and I just wanted to lose more, weigh less. My brain wasn’t ready to recover and let go of the one coping mechanism I had that was free and accessible, however my body didn’t agree and eventually my mental health got even worse. I had horrible emotional regulation and physical pain-I decided to begin recovering.
It was SO hard the first few days and one night I felt extremely unloved and unmotivated so I made myself throw up the big meal I had, start a fast and think about going back to restricting.
Despite this I talked things out with my family member and continued recovery as my physical health deteriorating was more scary than my desire to get thinner, I gave in to EH all the time and felt so happy eating homemade food and nostalgic meals I wasn’t allowing myself before. I’m happy to say I haven’t relapsed, the only issue is that I’m finally noticing weight gain and it’s making me extremely uncomfortable. My restriction lasted from January to around the end of May and I had lost a lot of weight and was underweight (I never really got to enjoy that body due to my mindset) but now that I’m gaining I wish I was still that thin.
I feel like a fraud and a binge eater, in my opinion my extreme hunger should be over, i’m convinced i’m just pigging out at this point and if I don’t stop i’ll become overweight and i’m so scared of being “fat” again.
I don’t want to think like this, I don’t want to be scared of gaining weight, I don’t want to desire to be underweight and sick, I don’t want my hair and teeth to all fall out, I want to be at peace with myself and life. I hope I can figure things out soon because I don’t want to use even more extreme things to cope with my life in addition to this mindset.

For some context I adopted my cat a couple weeks ago and was told by the vet that she’s a lil under a year old. When I met her at the shelter she was very cuddly and affectionate, but within a few days of brining her home I noticed that she bites and scratches a lot. Like a lot. Every time I pet her she’ll try to bite me, scratch me and sometimes she’ll even hit me with the bite scratch bunny kick combo. Sometimes her bites break skin and my hands have definitely taken a toll. In addition to that she’s got A LOT of zoomies. Pretty much every other minute she’s running around the house and sometimes she’ll try to scare us by jumping out of the corners. She’s never hissed at us so I just figured that none of his behavior was a sign of aggression. I’ve tried giving her space but even on days where I have work and will be gone the whole day, when I come back at night instead of being affectionate she once again dodges my pets and bites my hand any time it goes near her. Like I said I don’t think any of this is out of aggression but it is a bit upsetting that she won’t reciprocate any of my affection and keeps attacking me :(( if anyone has had any experience in this or any tips to improve her behaviour pls share!🙏😭

Hi Katarina Mains!
I'm an Emerald 2 Akali and Galio Main and I'm looking to learn Katarina. I've played her a Bit in the Past ( ack when Gunblade was in the Game) so I'm not completely clueless (I know some Combos and such) but I'm still usually worse than my Lane Opponent.
I usually struggle a lot in the early Game when trading and trying to all in the Lane Opponent (IDK my PoweDamage yet). I end up under Tower and can't roam much but unlike with Akali IDK when I can or can't go in.
I also don't really know what to build. I figured Conqueror + Nashor's is better against long Fights while Electrocute + Lichbane is better for pure Burst. I also know she can go a lot of On-hit Items like Bork or Terminus but IDK how viable those are.
Once I get to late Game though and get 2/3 Items I start playing much better and actually deal some serious Damage. The Blink Resets are honestly the main Thing I like about the Champ so far.
Any Tips?

Before the internet it made sense for unknown/underground musicians to tour around because audiences were hungry for entertainment and more willing go out to some random dive bar on a Wednesday to see a live performance from somebody they'd never heard of before.
But as many in the industry can attest, the audience for live music has been dwindling for decades. People are just less and less willing to spend money and time on something that they're not already interested in.
The internet also facilitates a means for artists to build a following without actually performing at all. So these days it makes for artitsts to try to build hype for themselves online, try build demand for their product first, and THEN go on tour.
I used to tour all around western Canada a lot with my Indie rock bands and they were fun adventures... But eventually one Monday night in some town we were playing I remember looking out across the mostly empty bar and thinking "what's the point of this? Who are we doing this for? Is this just for ourselves?"
It almost felt like we were playing pretend. There wasn't any real reason for us to be playing a random bar on a Monday night but we wanted to feel like rock stars on tour because that's what rock stars do.
Now I still "tour" but it's usually just weekend warrior stints to towns nearby. I figure if my band's music is online. If it's good enough then people will start asking us to come to them. At that point we might consider playing another Wednesday night in Golden BC again.

My parents have owned their home for 37 years. During that time, they have refinanced several times, and eventually paid the house off in the early pandemic.
Recently, they went to apply for a HELOC to finance construction on another property. During that process, a scrivener's error was discovered in the registry of deeds that took place in 1958. In this 1958 deed, they referenced the wrong book & page number of the property plan. The correct reference was Plan Book 15, Page 60. But the clerk incorrectly entered Plan Book 16, Page 50.
They purchased title insurance when they purchased the property 37 years ago, and it's been a terrible struggle for my folks dealing with this company.
The title company paid a lawyer to file an affidavit of scrivener's error with the county registry of deeds and then offered my folks $1,000 to forgo their right to any future claims.
The bank is not happy with the simple affidavit. So my folks are unable to access any equity and are worried about what will happen if they try to sell their home in the future or leave the home to their children when they pass.
I'm not sure what kind of advice or insight I am asking for, a lot of this feels like a foreign language. But I guess I'm wondering to what extent they should push the title company to remedy the error? What is a reasonable and fair outcome my folks should be seeking?
Thanks in advance.
TL;DR - The bank is worried that the affidavit will not be sufficient in the event they have to foreclose in the future. My parents are worried the affidavit will not be sufficient if they try to sell/access equity/leave the house to their children.
Title company insists the affidavit is sufficient. They have stated that alternative remedies include contacting the heirs of all previous owners (all previous owners themselves are dead), and bringing the matter before the state Supreme Court. They also insist that these alternative remedies will take many years to complete, leaving my folks in limbo in the meantime, and costing the title insurance company many thousands of unnecessary dollars.

Context: I’m a 26F with fine, 2A hair that has a lot of frizz / volume near the ends, and used to get really flat / thin / greasy, quickly, near the roots. I’ve also had some thinning near my hairline since January 2023 (combination of a short period of intense stress, weight loss, and using too many products). I tried supplements, I also did blood tests to make sure there wasn’t an underlying problem. I was hyper-fixating whenever I would brush my hair and see shedding. Overall, I was in a bad mental state over my hair. Over the year, I’ve made some changes that have really helped me with my hair thickness journey, and gotten me to a place of feeling good about my hair again. I wanted to share to see if it helps anyone else here.
Disclaimer - there isn't a miracle cure, I definitely needed a lot of patience and lifestyle changes, but the below are things I did for my hair specifically that has helped me with my hair health.
1. Figuring out what your hair type actually is
I have type 2A hair but I didn’t know that until March 2023, which is super late in hindsight. I always used to see people on tiktok who were selling certain products and hair oils, and showing their beautiful, thick hair. But in reality, it really is not a one size fits all, and most of the time, these products are either not for your hair type, OR you’re not using them the right way. Which leads me to…
2. Figuring out what the right products are for your hair, especially shampoo and hair oil
I did A LOT of research into this, and I got it wrong more often than not. There is just so much information out there, and every product promises hair growth / thicker hair. I tried so many different hair oils, including oiling my hair / scalp after washing. BIG mistake, I was a greasy mess and had to rub my scalp vigorously in order to get the oil off., which probably made my hair shedding worse. Basically - the way you oil your hair and WHEN you oil your hair seriously depends on your hair type. I used this tool to figure out my hair type and the right shampoos / oils as well as the right way to apply them. I realized that I only really need to oil 30 minutes before showering, and a few drops are enough. I found oils that weren’t too heavy for my hair type, and didn’t need vigorous scrubbing in the shower to wash off. I started shedding way less and seeing much more growth around my hairline.
3. Hair washing frequency / technique
Some people need to wash their hair more than others. I’m one of them. BUT I was washing my hair every other day, and had just resigned myself to having naturally greasy hair. Actually, I figured out my hair washing technique was wrong. I started using a scalp brush twice a week, and using my fingertips instead of nails to wash my hair. What I found helpful was “think about washing your scalp, not your hair”. It sounds basic, but I was doing it wrong all these years. Now, I can wash my hair 2-3 times a week and it lasts so much longer between washes.
4. Not tying my hair back
Yes to claw clips, no to hair ties. Definitely no to tight ponytails. This really makes a difference especially the front of the hairline.
5. Consistency
Once I figured out what products I liked (I did a lot of experiments), I’m now sticking to those. I think my hair is like my skin, it likes consistency and a level of minimalism. If you want specific product recommendations for fine, 2A hair then let me know :)
Tldr; After finding the right routine for my hair type, my hairline looks noticeably thicker, and I finally feel good about my hair. I’m no longer counting strands in my hairbrush and hyper fixating over my hairline. I hope this helps anyone in the same boat I was looking for ways to help find a good routine for their fine fair.

Title Insurance Claim - Scrivener's Error
My parents have owned their home for 37 years. During that time, they have refinanced several times, and eventually paid the house off in the early pandemic.
Recently, they went to apply for a HELOC to finance construction on another property. During that process, a scrivener's error was discovered in the registry of deeds that took place in 1958. In this 1958 deed, they referenced the wrong book & page number of the property plan. The correct reference was Plan Book 15, Page 60. But the clerk incorrectly entered Plan Book 16, Page 50.
They purchased title insurance when they purchased the property 37 years ago, and it's been a terrible struggle for my folks dealing with this company.
The title company paid a lawyer to file an affidavit of scrivener's error with the county registry of deeds and then offered my folks $1,000 to forgo their right to any future claims.
The bank is not happy with the simple affidavit. So my folks are unable to access any equity and are worried about what will happen if they try to sell their home in the future or leave the home to their children when they pass.
I'm not sure what kind of advice or insight I am asking for, a lot of this feels like a foreign language. But I guess I'm wondering to what extent they should push the title company to remedy the error? What is a reasonable and fair outcome my folks should be seeking?
Thanks in advance.
TL;DR - The bank is worried that the affidavit will not be sufficient in the event they have to foreclose in the future. My parents are worried the affidavit will not be sufficient if they try to sell/access equity/leave the house to their children.
Title company insists the affidavit is sufficient. They have stated that alternative remedies include contacting the heirs of all previous owners (all previous owners themselves are dead), and bringing the matter before the state Supreme Court. They also insist that these alternative remedies will take many years to complete, leaving my folks in limbo in the meantime, and costing the title insurance company many thousands of unnecessary dollars.

"I remember awesome dates and deep conversations. I thought i finally found my person. Why did you say we were in the wrong time of our lives, why did you want this to end so bad just to come back crying, absolutely mad at me, saying that i used you, that i take goodbyes so easily, meanwhile you knew i was absolutely broken inside? Your hot and cold behaviour, your mixed messages, your looking so distant. I was so much conditioned by your mood that it makes me crazy lol. My heart was shattered, we argued, you said so many bad things about me.
Now you're in my head all the time and i'm disgusted by it. Those few memories aren't sweet anymore, they fail to bring bittersweet joy in my daily life, just a lot of pain. I go from melancholy to sadness, loneliness, anger, frustration so fast that i feel on an never ending rollercoaster. I can't stop myself from thinking about the person i shared so much with in such a short period of time, the person that i tried to make feel understood and loved, the first person i was so comfortable to share my cringeworthy poems to. The person that sent all of that back to me in a bunch of painful words.
Now i really want to say that i don't care no more I really want to try and date someone again. I really want to forget you just as i'm sure you already did. But i can't. This little story reminded me of why i don't trust people often and why i don't share my deepest, truest side so easily. I want to move on, it' been two months now, two months for a f*cking one-month situationship lol. I'm even ashamed of it, it doesn't make sense I'm going on with my life (slowly) but i really want to move forward, all the love that i wanted to give to the wrong person will stay with me for now. Winds will change directions someday. If you ask, no, i don't hate you, i just want you out of my head."
This is just the chaos of thoughts i have in my head that i tried to write into a sort of letter, dedicated to LO, probably by all of those who can't heal so easily from unrequited love. Stay strong my friends, things will get better.

Hello, I'm trying to optimize my nixvim setup but am having some problems setting up.
So I already have my plugins enabled/downloaded the "normal" nixvim way, so I don't need the lazy plugin to re-download them, I just need the configuration options like event, ft, etc. I've looked at the repoif I'm reading it correctly (English isn't my first language) it seems like it is possible to do exactly that.
So looking at the lazy.nix file it looks like I can set the plugin like so:

programs.nixvim.plugins.lazy = { enable = true; plugins = [ { name = "gitsigns" dev = true; event = ["BufReadPre", "BufReadNew"\]; } ... ]; }; 

However, doing home-manager switch --flake . gave me this error:

error: The option `programs.nixvim.plugins.lazy.plugins."[definition 1-entry 1]".pkg' is used but not defined. 

I tried to look for answers, but I couldn't find issues regarging the lazy.nvim plugin nor do I see other's nixvim configuration with lazy.nvim. Is there something I'm doing wrong here?
On a side note, The reason I started thinking about using lazy.nvim in the first place is because it felt like my neovim was getting sort of slow, and by slow I mean around 340 ms of load time. I'm new to neovim but I've heard it has really fast load time if configured correctly. So to me 300+ms feels like a lot but idk if it is actually considered slow. If not I guess I can live without lazy but if not I think it's definitely worth trying to figure this out.

I am asking specifically about people who are not racists themselves, and would not use the slur itself, other than talking about its use, connotation, etc.
Why I'm asking: I don't have native speakers around me and most of the native speakers I hear are public persons on online platforms. In my language, we also have a racist slur aimed at people with darker skin. However, in my language, the slur is literally the word "crow". So: 1. I would definetly use the word to describe an actual crow. 2. If you're talking about the slur, or it's usage, etc you would not say "the c word" you would use the actual word. For example, it is acceptable to say something like "They used the word crow a lot in movie x".
There's also another slur aimed at Romany people, which I think is also considered a slur in english. But again it's socially acceptable to use it if you want to say something about the slur itself, or it's use. It's not socially acceptable to use when describing a person, or talking to a person.

Hello!
My wife and I just bought our first home, a 1933 colonial with plaster and lath walls. House is in great shape but I have been racking my brain on the best methods to use when going forward on hanging things/aesthetic improvements.
One thing I definitely plan on doing is putting up crown and wainscotting in a lot of different rooms, not the pre made panels, but chair rail and picture moulding. Likely going to do full height in the upstairs hallway, 1/3 height in my office, potentially full height in the primary bedroom, etc. so I am going to be shooting a lot of nails.
I am on the fence between these two stud finders:
Franklin M210 ($63.00)
Bosch D-Tect 120 ($250)
The Bosch has a few more features and apparently scans deeper but not sure if it is worth the extra nearly $200, it also seems to get more conflicting reviews. I know (if I am lucky and there is no wire mesh) that I will be able to use the stud finder to locate studs and live wires, but I am mostly worried about identifying piping as well, as the stud finder may pick it up but of course won't reflect the difference between a stud. We have oil and steam heater and radiators in every single room so I assume there is piping going all over the place.
I assume I should be able to use a rare earth magnet to cross check the stud finder to help determine if what is being picked up is a stud or a pipe as the magnet would stick to the stud nails and not the pipe but I am still a little worried. Should I pick up this camera scope to use as well to be extra sure? I could always drill where I plan to put the chair rail to eliminate the need of too much patching.
Please provide me with any recommendations you may have in terms of tools, means and methods, or anything else. I would greatly appreciate figuring out the best method so when we move in 2 weeks from now I have a game plan.
And yes, I will be checking the stud finder on myself first to give it the first true calibration.
THANK YOU!

My girlfriend was accepted into Brooklyn University and wants to move here this fall.
We haven’t fully committed yet, but putting the plans together to see if it’s feasible for us. I feel there would be lots of opportunities here for me, too.
She did not get a TA position and isn’t able to work because of her Visa, so I will have to get a full time job and possibly a part time one, which I am not worried about. She is getting help from her family with school, so that’s covered.
Currently, I am trying to figure out how much we can get by with month to month. Is it unreasonable to find a place for both of us to live for $1000 a month or less? We don’t need anything huge.
I don’t have a college degree but have ran my own IT business for seven years and have customer service experience.
We will be living together and are thrifty when it comes to food. Our car also gets great MPGs.
We don’t eat out ever.
How much should we plan for on a month to month? What about year?
Any advice would be appreciated 🙏

To be honest I don't know how I feel about my writing. I was hoping you guys could give some advise to help me improve. I'm new to writing longer fic, most of the stuff I wrote before is one shots and poems. Also English isn't my first language, so I'm in unfamiliar territory.
1) I'm kinda regretting writing my story in past tense. I think that present tense would have been better, reserving the past tense for my flashbacks. Is it too late to change it? I mean it would mean having to rewrite the whole fic and I'm worried it would mess it up. What do you think, should I do it?
2) From what I learned in school and from the advice I read online, show don't tell is one of the most important rules of writing. However that is my exact problem. When I read my stuff I get the feeling like my writing is too dry and not descriptive enough and my beta agrees with me, but every time I try to be descriptive it comes off as flowery and it just feels like it was written by other people. How can I add more descriptive elements without sounding too flowery?
3) On that same note, my beta said that I tend to over explain scenes like for example in one chapter of my fic, there are several scenes where one character refusing help due to being stubborn and not wanting to be a burden and and the other character being frustrated/feeling they are taken advantage and wanting to end the friendship. I was trying to show how their friendship slowly imploded and as such certain elements pop up again and again. My beta said that it was too repetitive and that readers are not idiots who can pick up on themes without being hit over the head with a hammer. She's right of cause, but to be honest I'm not sure I'm good at writing subtext. Do you guys have any resources or tips to help me improve in that area?

I just keep replaying the whole thing in my head and everyone else’s reactions and I still don’t know if I did the right thing. Did I do too much? Not enough? I’m hoping maybe some parents in here that work in healthcare can give me an unbiased answer.
So daughter is 4 (turning 5 in June). She was diagnosed at birth with septo optic dysplasia and optic nerve hypoplasia. Long story short, she has very low vision and developmental and verbal delays. She is otherwise healthy as a horse, active, very strong, followed by specialists at a children’s hospital nearby, gets therapy through school, all that good stuff. We’ve never had issues with allergies, she’s been stung by a wasp (barely phased her), eats peanut butter, has had cooked egg and stuff made with egg and no issues. So this was alarming to say the least.
We live out in the country and have chickens so there’s no shortage of eggs that are laid out around my kitchen on a daily basis (obviously not anymore). About a month ago she grabbed one off the counter, broke it, and got egg all over her arms and hands and some on her face. I didn’t think much of it, it had happened before plenty of times. I cleaned her up, wiped up the floor and went on making dinner. She went and played in her room and when she walked back out I noticed she had little bumps popping up on her face and arms where the egg got on her. She didn’t seem bothered at all, I put some hydrocortisone cream on her, gave her a dose of Claritin just to be safe and it was cleared up in less than 10 minutes. I mentioned it to one of her teachers the next day at school and asked if they had ever noticed anything when they would have eggs for breakfast and they said no and told me they’d keep an eye out. And that was it. I didn’t think too much about it after that.
Fast forward to yesterday. Same scenario, I’m about to make lunch and she manages to grab an egg that I was sure was out of her reach, she dropped it, I immediately went over and checked her. It wasn’t even that much that got on her that I could tell. I got everything cleaned up and not even 5 minutes later her entire face is swollen, eyes swollen shut, bumps all over her legs and face. I am internally panicking at this point because it was so sudden and not something I ever expected to deal with. Plus we’re home alone and the nearest ER is at least 30 minutes away. There is a local clinic less than 5 minutes from our house so I called them, explained what was going on. Her face was swollen but she was still in good spirits, breathing fine, didn’t seem to be in distress. They told me to go ahead and bring her in. I just assumed the quicker I could get her to medical professionals, the better. I did consider calling for an ambulance but we’re in a rural area with one ambulance to service the entire county and I knew I could get her to the clinic faster than the ambulance could get to me. We get to the clinic, I’m filling out paperwork, nobody at the front really seems phased, they see her face but not really acting like it’s urgent. Nurse takes us back, gets her weight and height, gets history from me. She tried to get Daughter’s vitals but she has never tolerated any of that since infancy. Blood pressure cuffs send her into a full meltdown, she won’t keep a pulse ox on her finger. I always feel so bad for healthcare workers having to deal with her because as sweet as she is, she is EXTREMELY difficult at doctor visits. I can tell the nurse is getting frustrated with us. So then the NP comes in and looks at her and asks me, “So is there a reason why you didn’t just go to the ER?” My heart dropped and I tried to stay calm and told her I came here because it was a lot closer and I did call first and explain the situation and they said it was fine to come in. She then proceeded to tell me that they weren’t really equipped to handle anything like this and I should have just gone to the ER. I guess that was my first dumb mistake, assuming that a clinic with a full pharmacy attached could handle an allergic reaction. I just figured they’d give her a shot of Benadryl and we’d be good. But apparently not.
Other than the swelling and hives, Daughter wasn’t showing any other symptoms. The NP listened to her chest, said everything sounded good but she still wanted her to be monitored in case something happened and we’d be best off taking the ambulance to the ER. They gave her a dose of oral Benadryl and called the ambulance for us. Thirty minutes later the ambulance gets there, and we head to the ER. They were very kind and understanding, Daughter was actually having a good time riding in the ambulance, laughing and singing. She wouldn’t let them hook up any monitoring equipment still but they kept a close eye on her. I start feeling a little bad at this point because she’s still not in any distress and other than the severe facial swelling, seems totally fine, so I started feeling guilty for wasting local resources and peoples time.
We get to the ER and they get us to a bed and one of the nurses comes over and I can just tell right off the bat that she doesn’t even want us there. She was very short with us and kept talking at my daughter telling her that she’d have to leave if she didn’t act right. I kept mentioning that she was low vision and had verbal delays but I don’t know if she was listening. I was beyond stressed at this point and so was Daughter and she was admittedly being difficult yet again and not keeping the pulse ox on her finger. I just mentioned to the nurse that we have to go to the children’s hospital a lot and they’ve only ever managed to get her vitals once when she was sedated for an MRI. I guess at the time I was just trying to acknowledge that yes my kid is difficult and let the nurse know please don’t feel bad because she’s like this with everybody. I wasn’t trying to tell her how to do her job. She glared at me and snapped “I am NOT sedating your child just to get her vitals!” and stormed back over to the nurses station across from our bed and repeated the same thing loudly, “I am NOT sedating someone to get their vitals that’s just RIDICULOUS!!”
I’m trying not to break down and cry at this point. I feel like I should just apologize to everyone for wasting their time and leave. Like I’m that dumbass that went to the ER for no reason and took up space that a real emergency could have used. A different nurse came over and was very sweet. She used a different monitor that taped to her toe and we were able to get a quick reading just to verify that her stats were good. The doctor came in and listened to her heart and checked her out for any other symptoms. Said she seemed stable but he wanted to watch her for a couple of hours to make sure the Benadryl was working and she continued to improve. So after we hung out for an hour and watched PBS kids, her hives went away and her face cleared up and her eyes opened back up. The doctor came in and cleared her, pharmacy tech came in and brought us her Epipen prescription and gave us instructions on what to do next time (Benadryl, blue to sky, orange to thigh, straight to ER). Paid $300 and went home.
Daughter is perfectly fine. I however am not. I barely slept last night between getting up to check on her and replaying the whole scenario in my head. Part of me feels like I didn’t do enough and the other part feels like I overreacted and wasted peoples time. I apologize for this being so long. It’s just all been so heavy on my mind and I needed to get it out and get another perspective on the whole situation. Much thanks to anyone that managed to read all of this.

I just started Lexapro 5 days ago. Today will be my 6th dose. I have DPDR, extreme anxiety, and panic disorder. I have never been on meds before. I have medication based anxiety as well because I fear feeling like I'm drugged.
I have had some normal symptoms since I started on the Lexapro. I started out with a pretty bad constant headache, but I've had headaches/migraines my whole life. I have had extreme nausea, but that seemed normal for the medication. I would get sleepy after I took the medication, and would wake up with like the shakes. I wasn't sleeping through the night either. I figured all of this is normal and a lot of the side effects have even started to fade away.
However, I did have random times when my eyes couldn't focus and my vision would get blurry. I also figured this was normal, and it went away pretty quickly so I didn't think anything of it. However, since last night it has become constant. It's like my eyes just cannot focus. Like when you can do that thing where you make your eyes zone out and go blurry, but it's constant. I'm fighting it. It is making my anxiety go haywire. I also feel like I'm on drugs suddenly, starting yesterday. I feel like I'm floating, like nothing is real. I had a major panic attack last night.
My dr says to deal with the vision thing and it might go away in a few weeks. But like I can barely drive or do my job and it's causing worse anxiety. What should I do? Has anyone else experienced this?

Apologies if this gets long-winded. Up until last month I was a journalist covering anime and manga, so I think I just have to get some words out of my system. Also, and obviously: Spoilers for Dress Up Darling to its current chapters, as well as the manga/anime One Week Friends.
I really enjoyed reading the recent posts from everyone on the analysis regarding chapter 100, if it feels like the book has lost its momentum, how the Comiket arc has made everyone feel, and so on. As someone that came to SBD/DUD via the anime but has dove into the manga heavy during the lull, it's refreshing to see a community taking an introspective look at the story, its arc, and the tug-of-war that seems to go on in regards to romance story versus cosplay tale.
But I also think that, by and large, falling into and caring too much about the "Will They/Won't They" of the story is a trap, and one that, if obsessed over for too long, inevitably leads to feeling let down by the time this story hits its conclusion.
On that note, let's talk about One Week Friends.
Initially released in 2012, Isshūkan Friends shares a lot of DNA with Dress-Up Darling. Both Square Enix joints, the two feature a very similar two-character lead romance dynamic. OWF is the story of Hase, a nervous high school boy who has a massive crush on his seemingly-ice queen class mate, Kaori. Taking a chance one day, he declares to her that he wants to be friends. However, she rejects him almost immediately. He comes to find that it wasn't because she doesn't want friends, but that she suffers from a condition that causes her memories to reset after a week. So, as a protective measure for herself, she just lives a life of stagnation--never making friends, never changing anything. At least until Hase comes around.
The story from there is familiar to Dress-Up Darling, in that a lot of the romantic tension comes from the perspectives of our two leads, as well as the "when are they going to get together?" of it all. In this case, the two sources of tension are as follows:
Kaori: Is entering into a friendship or having romantic feelings in her state fair to the other person? How does it affect her personally to have those feelings but only remember them through a journal--though her memory does begin to improve slightly over time. Is she worthy or friendship or love?
Hase: At a point, he places Kaori on a bit of a pedestal because he's been the only one to reach out to and make progress with this friendless girl. However, as their friend group grows and she becomes a more normal and stable person, he begins to resent not only losing this feeling of specialness, but the fact that he's feeling that way at all--no longer feeling like he's worthy of being there for her.
The parallels to Dress-Up Darling and the most recent stretch of the manga are apparent, as heartbreaking as its been to watching Marin and Gojo fumble in the metaphorical dark in that way that teen romance does so well. For Marin, she's in love with a boy that, at times feels distant, or that his main focus is the work. She's hesitated to confess her feelings time and again, both for the sake of comedy but also just because she's a teenager, and that kind of thing is hard for anyone to confess. She keeps hoping to create situations--some magical moment--where things fall into place and they both confess their true feelings, but circumstances and fate have kind of interfered to that point. However, she knows he's the only person in her life that's ever saw her for who she really is, and that's something she probably feels disconnected from as she approaches the precipice of cosplay stardom and feels more disconnected from Gojo than ever.
Meanwhile, Gojo has a similar issue to Hase in One Week Friends: He's placed this girl on a pedestal. A perfect doll that he isn't worthy of. So, he did the only thing he could ever do: Focus on the work and trying to show he cares through supporting her. However, he's hit the end road of that path, with 'Princess' now seen by the work at Comiket and feeling like, to him, that Marin has outgrown him. He feels unworthy of telling her how he feels.
And yes, both of them are idiots, but that's why we love stories like this in manga and anime.
In the case of One Week Friends, I always felt like that story somewhat fumbled the ball. The anime and the first run of the manga end on a very saccharine, melodramatic note. The two leads have a falling out, but then a memorable reunion on new year's day where they both somewhat confess their feelings. A lot of fans felt left out in the cold that the series didn't end in a full-blown confirmation of love--or even a kiss, but thems the breaks sometimes.
In the case of Dress-Up Darling, I think the takeaway to learn from is that the big, apex moment for this story is inevitably going to be the confession of love. It's what drew the most people into the story and thing that everyone on this sub is obviously waiting for. However, we really don't know if that's the way the mangaka views it, nor if that's the focus.
As insane as that feels to say. After all, what are we doing here if not waiting for Marin and Gojo to figure things out, stop being dumb, and just say how they feel?
Whether or not Dress-Up Darling nails the landing is going to completely depend on that moment. However, I remain optimistic. In a perfect world, I'd want the story to end with that confession finally happening: Marin realizing she needs to go after the things she wants and that the thing that kept her going all this time wasn't the finished product of the cosplay, but the memories made along the way. For Gojo, he needs to stop treating Marin like another hina doll--something to be placed up on a shelf and put behind a glass case, un approachable and only deserving of love from afar. He has to take agency in his own life and needs.
Personally, I could think of nothing better than this series ending with that confession happening and the last chapter detailing how Marin wants to do a cosplay of a traditional Hina Doll, making Gojo think its for an upcoming event. They work together as normal on it, the process and journey being the important part--with the final scene being them getting her ready in his room as always, with Gojo finally asking what the event is for. She responds, fully dressed as that thing Gojo has so admired for the longest time, that the event is just for him, and it always will be. Cut to that big two-page spread shot smile of her, but this time in Hina Doll garb.
Anyways, I'm going back to work.

original setting by Michael McNeill
Myrla sat at one of the tables in the food court area of Nantrella Station. The Greylin’s crew had discovered several ships docked with family members on board and this had led to a rather impressively large impromptu family reunion with several dozen kwonese spacers gathered up in one space.
She was sitting slouched over the table, the only human in a sea of furry ratfolk, nursing her drink. It was a chocaf that one of the family from another ship had spiked with something s/he said was an intoxicant that she would enjoy. Myrla wasn’t sure if it was intoxicating, but it did add a pleasant richness to the drink and it warmed her in a way chocaf didn’t normally do.
She was reaching the end of her drink and was starting to wonder if she should try to find the kwonese who had spiked her drink to ask for a second round when she realized some of her crewmates nearby were talking about her. She hadn’t been listening, really, her mind just floating along in the comfortable feel of the “group-snuggle” as they called it, so she wasn’t sure what was going on.
After a few seconds of focusing on the conversation, she realized they were bragging about her. That was when one of them turned to her, dragging her into the conversation.
“Yah, see! This Myrla, she top stevedore, better than ya porter drone!” Nellin, one of the crew-family she had little interaction with other than when it was time to hustle cargo, had grabbed her by the sleeve and was tugging her into a small cluster of kwonese sitting around one of the tables. She only recognized one other face as being part of the Greylin crew. Nellin served as the ship’s load-master and chief stevedore, so she assumed the others in the group likely held similar positions on their own ships.
Myrla hoisted her cup in greeting, a lopsided smile on her face. Then she realized she did know another of the faces in the group – the cousin who had spiked her chocaf. Grinning, she pulled her arm free of Nellin’s grip and pointed to him then to her almost empty cup. “I’m going to need some more of that, cousin.”
This set off titters of laughter around the crew as the kwonese in question hauled out a silver flask from his vest pocket. “Powerful stuff, yah!” He made smacking sounds as he fixed her another chocaf from the table’s dispenser. “Makin’ it on the Yeongja, we do. Best you find.”
She drained her first cup and picked up the second. If it was an intoxicant, it was either incredibly weak or it was so smooth that it would hit her like a sledgehammer later. Either way, it was a delightful pairing with the bitterness of the chocaf. She took a sip of the fresh drink, smiling as the warmth seeped into her. The group shuffled around to make a spot for her to sit.
One of the others, a grizzled older kwonese, looked at her one eyebrow raised. “Nellin say you top stevedore. Say you outwork drone. Been load-master on Yeongja ten year and four more now on /San Matteo/. Not seeing that happen yet.”
She looked over Nellin and raised her cup in his direction. “[Samchun ]()[[MM1]](#_msocom_1) has never voiced displeasure with my work. If he wishes to say I work harder than a cargo drone, that is his choice.”
Her comment brought hoots of laughter from around the table. Out-bragging in a family was something of a sport with the kwonese and diplomatically saying they were boasting without calling them a liar was an integral part of the game, even better if you were doing so in support of them.
“Well-saying, [olinee]()[[MM2]](#_msocom_2) .” The grizzled cargo-chief crinkled his snout and raised his glass at her. “But now chincheog making me curious. Never seeing such a thing not being the same as impossible thing.” He paused to scratch his whiskers. “Not working much with your kind, true, so never seeing how much you can do.” Several of the group lightly slapped the tabletop and looked in her direction.
She glanced down at Nellin, seeing his whiskers twitching. His body language was just like it would be if they were playing cards and he were holding a winning hand, waiting on the pool to grow. Long seconds passed before the one she’d mentally dubbed “Mister Flask” leaned in.
“Let’s make it interesting.”
And there it was. Cred-chips started hitting the table and in moments, crew from all the ships were aware of the betting taking place. She sat, sipping her doctored chocaf, as the kwonese around her seemed to turn into a boiling pool of sleek fur and whiskers. Across the table, “Mister Flask” raised his cup to her … and winked.
She grinned back at him, returning the gesture. Now what was that all about?
One of the twins – probably Mikkeulon, from the scent – saw the exchange and leaned close to her. “Oh-ho! You catching Peulla’s eye, then! Good choice, but he wild.”
Myrla sputtered into her cup, but before she could say anything, the twin was gone. Then Nellin leaned in close. “You got this, girlee. Seen you move more easy. Just be going slow and easy and Greylin family got drinks for all station-time, ya.”
Myrla smiled to herself, shaking her head. The cargo-master may have said the Greylin’s crew would have all their drinks covered during their port-time, but given the kwonese need for these family get-togethers, “hajog-poog” they called them, every kwonese on the station would be regular visitors to the Greylin. The betting was just the method they used to pick which ship the party was held on.

It wasn’t long before the entire party had relocated to the docks where San Matteo was set to disgorge its cargo. The grizzled cargo-master, who Myrla now knew to be named Tostiklin, had one of the enormous cargo bays set up for the impromptu competition. She’d sent Orak off to the /Greylin/ to retrieve her backpack, leading to a humorous scene as the young kwonese came running into the docking area dragging the pack that was easily as large as he was. She stripped away the actual pack and her possessions that it held, leaving just the pack-frame. She tasked Orak with perching on the pack itself, to make sure it didn’t get lost in the excitement.
She walked over to the small cluster of cargo-masters and hefted her packframe. “I assume I’m allowed to use a cargo rack, since the drone has one?” She watched as several of them suppressed snickers and Tostiklin wrinkled his snout in amusement.
He waved absently. “Yahyey, of course! Wanting a fair run, we.” He motioned the cargo drone over, which stood almost twice as tall as its crewmates. The crowd settled down to a low murmur as the cargo master addressed the two. “This being the rules. Moving cargo for one minute, as much as you can, ya. No helping from others. No interfering with other stevedore. Move you stack from where it is to indicated position.” He pointed to a pair of chalked squares some thirty feet away from the initial stacks. “Is good?”
The drone’s head rotated from the kwonese to Myrla to the two stacks of cargo containers and back. “I to compete against this gentlebeing? Moving cargo like normal work?”
“Yes, Ledo.”
The drone dipped its head. “Understood but I do not understand why.”
Myrla leaned close to the drone. “They gambling on us. Who can shift more.”
The drone tipped its expressionless face first to one side then to the other while looking at her, a low whir of servos barely audible. Then it looked toward the group of kwonese for a moment. “Oh. Oh. Then … perhaps I should apologize now?”
Myrla grinned. “Apologize for what?”
“I am made to shift significant amounts of cargo. You do not appear to be. I shall apologize now for embarrassing you in front of your shipmates.”
Myrla laughed and patted the drone on its arm. “It’s all in fun, Ledo. I won’t be embarrassed.”
She could detect a faint note of smugness in the mechanical’s speech. “Very well. Then let us proceed.”
“Geebees, are clear on rules?” Myrla and Ledo both indicated their assent. “Then please stand by cargo.”
When they had taken their places, Tostiklin pulled a whistle from his pocket and blew on it. Myrla and Ledo began quickly assembling their loads. Remembering Nellin’s admonition, she carefully restricted her load, adding two containers more to hers than the drone loaded onto itself. It was enough weight to slow her down considerably, but she could still keep up with Ledo without straining.
Together, they dropped their cargo loads inside their assigned squares and Myrla fought the urge to race ahead of the drone, keeping pace with it instead. Twice more the cycle repeated itself, with Myrla carrying just enough extra to stay ahead in the count.
When the whistle blew a second time, the gathered cargo-masters counted the crates in each stack. Tostiklin’s face was a study in surprise as he counted Myrla’s stack again.
He looked at Nellin. “Your stevedore has clearly won. By a mere six crates, but she has won.” The kwonese erupted into cheers and groans, depending on the amount of credits they had won or lost. Tostiklin held up a hand and the crowd quieted down. “But you say she outwork drone. Win by six is much as keep up with drone.”
The crowd inhaled as a whole. /San Matteo/’s cargo chief was treading the fine line of being rude, almost accusing Nellin of lying. The older kwonese narrowed his eyes, looking for at Nellin, then Myrla, then at the crowd. “I like very much to be seeing her truly outwork drone. What is prize money?” One of the younger cargo-masters gave him the figure. “I say offering own creds to match that, double or nothing.”
The crowd went wild, the line of propriety saved. Myrla doubted Nellin had that sort of funds available, based on his change in body language. From behind her, she heard a female kwonese start chanting, “Match! Match!” She and Nellin turned to look, seeing Captain Wanniv shaking her fist in the air. In seconds, all the /Greylin/’s crew was chanting with her.
“Match! Match! Match!”
Nellin looked at her, his nervousness evident, even though things were going exactly like he’d told her they would. She winked at him and gave him a quick nod.
His bearing changed imperceptibly as he turned back to Tostiklin. “Yahyey, chincheog. You be seeing truth.”
Ban Baekui had sidled up beside her, patting her arm. “Time be taking off the governor, ya.”
She nodded absently, her gaze wandering around the room, watching as dozens of groupings indicated the level of betting taking place. “Got your bets made, chief?”
“Already making creds plenty. This to be sheer kwaja!”
She looked down at him, grinning. “The captain plays cards with Nellin, doesn’t she?”
Ban gave her a curious tilt of his head. “Frequently. Why you ask?”
Myrla nodded to herself, looking around again. “She backed him up at the perfect time. This gonna bring some notoriety to the Greylin. And that converts to …” She looked back at the ship’s lead mechanic, grinning broadly.
“Jobs. Bigger and better.” Ban nodded, grinning back. “Not playing cards with you, girlee. Best getting ready, then.”
Ban faded back into the crowd, leaving her with Nellin. “You good with this? Tossi want longer timeframe for this.”
Myrla dropped to one knee, making it so she had to look up slightly at the cargo master. “I need some advice, chief.” Nellin blinked in surprise at the abrupt change in the situation. When he signaled his assent, she continued. “There’s more going on than what I’m seeing. You just used a blood-kin name for him. The captain backed you up publicly under his challenge, so she’s now tied the two of you together, your win is now her win, and your loss her loss. Tostiklin almost called you a liar in front of everyone, but pulled it out by upping the bet.” She scanned the crowd, seeing several non-kwonese beginning to intermingle. “And that is interesting. More geebees are joining the party. And those aren’t spacers.” Her eyes narrowed. “Those are brokers – I recognize two of them.”
Nellin wrung his hands, a faint tang of nervousness coloring his odor. “Is … is complicated.”
“Not from my end, chief. Tostiklin wants to see how hard I can work, because he wants to learn more about my people and is willing to pay for the privilege. And he wants to see me lose to gloat…” She looked at Nellin as he started squirming again. “He doesn’t want me to lose.” She narrowed her eyes in suspicion. “Who is he related to by blood on the Greylin?”
“He brother to captain’s father…” Myrla’s eyes lit up in sudden understanding. “…and is brother to my mother’s mother.”
Myrla’s jaw dropped slightly as several puzzle pieces clicked into place. “He … he doesn’t want us to fail at all. He’s loaning the captain operating money as well as boosting the ship’s reputation.”
Nellin put his hands out to shush her. “Not be saying this!”
The good side of her mouth pulled up in a smile. “Don’t worry, not a word. Plus, by challenging you like this, you gain even more credibility with the family after I smoke that presumptuous cargo drone at his own game. You gain a reputation for understating how good something is.”
“See … is complicated.”
“Chief, go make your personal bets. This run is about to get interesting.”
The next ten minutes was a flurry of action as bets were made and new spectators arrived from stationside. At one point, Peulla drifted by, pressing another cup of that deliciously spiked chocaf into her hand with a wink. Soon, the cargo masters were huddled up again.
Tostiklin had found a voice amplifier somewhere, letting his voice be heard over the noises of the much-larger crowd. “We be setting round two. Nellin, loadmaster of the Greylin Bostlin, say he crewmate outwork cargo drone. We see earlier this geebee do that.” He indicated Myrla and she waved at the crowd, to delighted cheers from more than just her shipmates. “I say she barely beat cargo drone and I ask for a rematch. I offer double to see she truly outwork drone!” The crowd roared excitedly. “I ask to see geebee outwork drone and just minutes not enough. I ask for one whole hour!”
The crowd erupted into a frenzy and Myrla blinked in confusion. Nobody mentioned hauling cargo for an hour, she thought.
Captain Wanniv had slipped up beside her. “Just another day on the docks, ya?”
Turning to the captain with a smile, she said, “Using my own words against me as inspiration? I’m … well, I don’t guess I’m shocked. And yes, I’m good for it.”
“Is good. All this good.”
Myrla gave the captain a wink. “I love how they brought in some of the local cargo brokers and the Dockworker’s Guild to watch. San Matteo is a respected crew. To see them give the Greylin respect will carry weight later.”
The captain’s eyes crinkled. “I have no idea what you mean.”
Finally, the crowd calmed down again. Siezing the moment, Myrla stepped forward to address the Matteo’s cargo-master. “Samchun, it seems to me that all of our competition is being done handling cargo from the San Matteo. If we are unloading cargo, then am I working for you? And, if I am working, then as a member of the Stevedore and Dockworker’s Guild, I have to be paid or I lose my license. And I cannot bet on myself.”
The crowd fell to a dead silence as Tostiklin’s eyebrows rose slowly, first one then the other.
“FAIR!” Someone in the crowd shouted.
Tostiklin glanced in the direction of the speaker and turned back to Myrla, nodding slowly. “Wisdom speaks.” A grin slowly spread across his face. “I will pay you one hour with a bonus in proportional to how well you outwork the drone.”
Myrla nodded. “I accept these terms and your grace in offering them.” This brought a round of applause from the crowd.
“Again! This being the rules! Moving cargo for one hour, as much as you can, ya. No helping from others. No interfering with other stevedore. Move you stack from where it is to indicated platform.” He pointed to a pair of conveyor platforms some thirty feet away from the initial stacks. “Is good?”
Both workers gave their assent.
“Geebees, to your starting places!” Again, a blast from the whistle signaled the start of the competition. Both fell to their task and worked steadily, but Myrla thought it looked as though the drone knew it had already been beaten. For every stack of crates it moved, she moved twice as many. When it tried to match her volume, its speed dropped off significantly to the sound of overloaded drive motors.
They were well and thoroughly inside the cargo bay of the /San Matteo/ and the crowd was only able to keep up by watching on a series of holoscreens that had been set up for the purpose. True to Bae’s request, she “pulled the governors off,” falling into her work-trance, letting the crates guide her flow. The conveyor platforms advanced with them, never more than thirty feet away, making the job a bit less arduous. The cargo-master group was inside with them, as well, and Myrla shut them out by treating them like she did any other client who hung out to watch her work.
She was so deep into her work that the whistle caught her by surprise and Nellin had to physically intervene to get her attention.
“Is good, girlee. We done it. YOU done it.”
Myrla walked out of the cargo hold, blinking and shaking her head, trying to get refocused on where she was. Then she realized the entire hajog was chanting her name. Bae and Wanniv were waiting on her at the bay-door. Bae handed her a bottle of water and Wanniv grabbed Myrla’s free hand in both of hers. “You best lucky charm!” As the crowd caught sight of her, the chant broke into a wordless cheer that threatened to overwhelm her.
Finally, the cargo-masters made their counts and conferred together with a lot of nodding and one shaking their head incredulously. Tostiklin motioned her and the cargo drone forward to join them.
“Thinking it clear who wins.” He broke off with a grin as the crowd erupted into cheers again. He tried to continue twice before the cheering died down enough to let him be heard. “Seeing you never slowed down, girlee. Thinking maybe you having another gear or two.”
Smiling, Myrla shrugged as the crowd went wild again.
“And!” He held up a pouch for everyone to see. “And, here is your payment. One hour’s wage for a class five stevedore. And since you performed double what the drone performed, your wages are doubled.”
Again, the crowd roared and she fought to keep the surprise off her face. She was a class one stevedore and class five rates were significantly higher than she was used to getting. As she accepted the pouch from him, she leaned in to be heard above the crowd. “You are a wise and honorable gentlebeing, Samchun. May your words echo among many gajog.”
That got her an extra cheer from the cargo-chiefs and a pat on the cheek from a grinning Tostiklin. “You taking good-good care of the Greylin crew, then. So, let’s be drinking to this!”

Hi Reddit, I'm new, and my best friend uses Reddit so I hope they don't come to this sub. I only know about it because I listen to RSlash.
I (NB 25) love my best friend (NB 29) in a "more than friends" way.
I'll be honest, I'm terrible when it comes to relationships. I get clingy, lose myself in the relationship, always feel the need to "prove" my love; essentially I am an easy target for bad people. Because of this I haven't been in a relationship for 6 years, it helps that I'm asexual (sex repulsed), but I still have the desire for romantic love.
Me and my friend met online about 2 years ago and we instantly clicked. At the time I was still weary about getting into a relationship, as I wasn't confident that I wouldn't slip into those unhealthy habits. Funny enough, that was also around the time my therapist cancelled my therapy appointment without telling me and ghosted me. I'm guessing I didn't appear mentally ill enough? I don't know. And no she was fine, she just went on a vacation.
Anyways, me and my friend talked a lot, and clearly our talks were more than platonic. But hey maybe I'm wrong and it's normal for people to call their best friends by pet names, say I love you over and over again, and send love letters in the mail about how much you love them and want them in your life. They used to be so loving, and I felt so secure in what we were.
Then Christmas happened, and it hasn't been the same since. They got asked out on a date by a work colleague and accepted it, which shattered my heart. I told them that if they pursued the relationship, that I wouldn't feel comfortable being as loving as we were and that we would have to talk as regular friends do. I asked them what we were and if they loved me the way I love them. It hurt when they said that they weren't sure.
They cancelled the date with the other person, but I don't think I've recovered from that day. Even though from it we decided that we would plan on living together once we were at stable places in our careers (we were both having issues with our jobs).
One time I got super drunk with their friend, and the friend said my best friend loved me and wanted to kiss me but just would never admit it, which felt good to hear. I've heard from their friends that they know they love me and that I've been a force of good in their life, one asked me to please stay because I make them happy. Essentially all their friends have been saying that my friend loves me but just doesn't know it.
Meanwhile my friends, who aren't online all that much so haven't seen how me and my friend interact, have been wanting to set me up. One was trying to set up a double date between her bf, and then me and her friend. When I told my friend about it, they were obviously hurt and got quiet for the night, being sheepish to tell me that I should do what I want to do.
I didn't want to, I still wanted to be with my friend, even though we weren't "together" together. That was a few months, and the last time it's happened.
So why am I here? Shouldn't it be obvious that we have feelings for each other?
These past few months they've slowly been showing their affection less and it's been bothering me.
They get off work and I ask them how their day went, and they'll say they're tired and going to bed, then do exactly that. They won't ask about my day, and that will be our only interaction for the day. At one point this was happening every single day.
They no longer say all those kind words that made me fall for them in the beginning, about how I make their life worth living. They've stopped calling me all those pet names that made me feel special, they rarely even say "I love you" first.
I spoke with them, about how I miss these pet names, that I miss being told that I matter to them. I tell them that these are my love language and that I don't feel loved, and all they say is that they're sorry and they don't know how to make me feel loved. I JUST TOLD YOU HOW!
They used to plan on coming to visit me once they get the money, but when they do get the money they visit family instead. I understand that family comes first, but it still hurts to know that they basically lied to me.
I'm reaching my breaking point, I'm tired of playing this game of "will we, won't we". But at the same time I'm afraid that I might be over reacting, and I don't want to leave them alone if they do really want something. Plus it's really hard finding a partner when you're sex repulsed.
So should I just move on? I haven't told them that I'm ready to break off what little we have, but other than that I have been VERY up front with my emotions as I have them.
TL;DR: I'm anxious and tired after playing around with someone with commitment issues after 2 years.

I'm currently enrolled in DeVry University for my BS in Accounting. I chose DeVry because my billion dollar company has tuition assistance there. I've come to learn it may not be the best option though. I already know a lot about accounting through OTJ experience, but I want to learn more and get the documentation so I can advance my career. I want to at least be a bookkeeper and then work toward being an accountant. I'm in my early 40s already. But I figure if I work until I'm 70, I have 30 more years of work. I should do the job I want to do even if it takes a few years in school.
Should I try to transfer my credits to a local community college and take the hit on any credits not transferring? I've been attending a year part-time.
Or is DeVry sufficient if I have a decent resume already? I already have experience with AP, AR, billing, several GL programs (although not QB), and I'm already proficient at Excel, and other required computer programs. So I'm not starting from scratch.
I'm in Kentucky if anyone can recommend a good online program as an alternative.
Thanks!!

I feel like Reddit is my only option to be able to receive insight or advice for my situation. So, to get right into it.. I was dumped on Valentine’s Day by my partner after 3 years of being together. Listen, my situation is different than most other breakups in a sense that it wasn’t mutual but we but mutually agreed to “take a break” while he’s busy with both work and school. He was in a nursing program while also working at a hospital. He had too much on his plate. I 100% understand that. The reason why he dumped me on Valentine’s Day is because I was supposed to see him after 2 months of waiting to see him in person. We got into an argument because he said that he would be free during the weekend but meant Thursday and Friday because that’s “his” weekend. Like bruh, of course I’d assume Saturday and Sunday. I called him to settle the confusion because I really wanted to see him. Like I said, I waited for 2 months to finally have a day to see him. Which then led to him saying mean things about how I’ve achieved nothing and need to figure that out while he focuses on what comes first. School and work. He promised to send a picture of all of his puppies, which I miss so much. That was February and I just got one picture of the dogs. Here’s the kicker though. He has no remorse or empathy towards the breakup. Whatsoever. He made it seem like it was a break, he even said “ we’ll see what happens during the summer.” Just to never even check up. I understand being busy but he didn’t even wish me happy birthday, which yeah, let’s say he’s too busy. No, he texted me on my birthday actually responding to a picture I sent of my pup. (His request was to give pictures of my dog) I responded THE SECOND HE TEXTED. I simply said “today is my birthday” I didn’t get a text until 2 days later. He’s going through a lot right now, especially since he failed out of the program. He’s planning to go to university and work more to pay for it. I understand he has so much to think of but how is he able to forget me and all of the three years we had together, so quickly. I figured he’d understand that it would be hard on me too. I cry about him everyday. I miss him so much. We were together one day and then broken up the next. He left and never looked back. I just thought maybe people could help me understand how to take that. I’m mad that he has no emotion or empathy towards the pain he’s caused me. I forgot to mention that I told him my grandpa was diagnosed with cancer two days before he broke up with me. He said that the call stressed him out and he didn’t need the stress. I get not being first, I get school and work being important but, did he even love me if he’s able to forget and move on so easily? I feel like I loved him too much and definitely more than he did for me. 3 years of dating and he’s said” I love you “ to me once. And it was like 6 months into dating, he said it by accident, then tried to play it off as if he was saying it to the dog. Then said jokingly to me, “ I was going to say something mean”. Of course I asked him to say it anyways. He goes on to say, “I was going to say, I don’t love you, I could never love you” and that was the last time he ever said it first. The first time I said it he told me thank you, that was 2 years into dating. I just, I don’t know how to take this. I thought he was my soulmate. What do you guys think? Just try and forget about him too? I cry about him every night. My soul feels empty. Everything hurts. I just wish things could’ve worked out.