At my son’s 12 year old appointment they did some general bloodwork and he come up a bit high in the following areas: - red blood cell 5.53 (normal 4-5.20) - hemoglobin 16.1 (normal 11.5-15.5) - hematocrit 48.2 (normal 35-45) Doctor had told us to retest in month because he could have been dehydrated but mentioned polycythemia
We tested this weekend… those original numbers of concern came back just over the line back to normal: - red blood cell 5.15 -hemoglobin 15.1 - hematocrit 44.9 But now, his absolute lymphocytes are low and absolute monocytes are high: - 1013… last month they were 2042 (normal 1500-6000) - 1544… last month they were 789 (normal 200-900)
Anything I should be concerned about or asking? I left a message at the doctors office but they’re not always fast at getting back and I’m supposed to leave on a business trip tomorrow and will be flying most of business hours and my mind is working over time that this could be a problem. Or, maybe that’s just from his allergies that were off the hook this week. 🤦🏻‍♀️ any thoughts or advice would be appreciated.

Hey everyone
I’ll try to summarize this the best I can. My husband and I have a good marriage. We have 2 boys (6 and almost 3). I am a SAHM, and am happy doing the majority of childcare and household cleaning. My husband will help out with some cleaning but it’s mostly me. I do all the school stuff, except my husband likes to do field trips - and thank goodness because I get sick on buses lol I take the kids to their activities and my husband tries to get there when he’s not at work. We have a great system I think!
Having said all this, the only thing I really rely on my husband for when it comes to the kids is taking them to their doctors appointments. It’s something I just really don’t like to do. I’ve had past health problems with family members and the doctors office just isn’t a happy place for me mentally at times. Of course, when my boys were babies I would take them to every appointment and my husband would often meet us. But now that they’re older, for standard check-ups — He takes them.
I never thought anything wrong with this, until last week.. I took my oldest in for an appointment. When the nurse sat down and started talking to us she says “Wow mom! Haven’t seen you here in a long time.” I replied “oh yeah, usually it’s their dad doing the doctor’s visits!” She goes on “How about that. How nice for you! Some of us don’t have it that easy.” I said “I guess, sure.” I left it alone and kept it upbeat.
Then the conversation went on to ask standard questions about my son. We were talking about my son’s nutrition (he’s very picky, so food talk is common), and she asked if what he likes to eat. And he was name different food, and then said “and Double 3’s!” This is a restaurant in the area. And the nurse goes “yum! Me too. I bet your dad takes you there.” Then before she left the room to send the doctor in, the nurse came back to the subject about my husband again “So you think you’re going to start coming more? Hopefully we’ll see you more! Take care sweetie.”
My ears swelled up with tears. I literally felt like the biggest piece of shit. Am I thinking too much into this or was she being an asshole? Or am I doing something wrong? I didn’t think there was anything wrong with my husband taking them in? Thank you for taking the time to read this in advance. ❤️

The Adam Project was ok but the scene where they're in the bar (!>the mom and the son!<) is so powerful and emotional.
Are there any movies you can think of where it's like that?

I don’t know what to say. I left. It hurts, it still hurts. I can’t believe it but I had too. I love her so much but I had to let her go. It hurts me. I watched her cry and beg for me. Telling me I was the best boyfriend, telling me I was better than anyone. It pains me to see her suffering. My heart i don’t know. Seeing her cry so much, seeing her pretend to be okay. It was killing me. For a month straight of me thinking what to do, only for me to be alone. Ever since my birthday a month ago, I lost everything. Now I’m here sitting alone in silence. Crying. Thinking about her. Thinking if she’s doing okay, thinking how she’s gonna handle life without me. How she’s gonna do on her tests. How she’s gonna get places. It’s killing me. It’s hurtful. Sigh. Just wishing her well. Just wishing she would come back to me or text me back or anything. But i don’t know. All I see is just her crying and hugging me begging me to stay and not leave her. Not to leave her alone, not to abandon her. Watching her begging to convert to her religion or compromise. It hurts. Now that’s what replays in my mind. That’s all I hear now. It felt like I lost a good girlfriend. But maybe it was for the best. Our relationship wasn’t the best. We argued a lot, sometimes she would hit me and k would just defend myself crying bc why is she doing this to me. I love her, why is she trying to punch me or slap me. And her anger. Her anger was the worst of it. I couldn’t handle it. I’m too sensitive and too emotional. Every time she got mad I would just shut down. Which made her even more mad. And instead of listening what was hurting me or trying to understand my feelings, she just got more mad or saying “we’re over “ then come back and say “I was just mad, I said it out of anger” she would say “we didn’t break up, it was barley a day and I just said it out of anger. It doesn’t mean anything” but to me it hurts, those words felt real. I was always scared of losing her. And her saying that too me every time she got mad at me. It broke me down more and more each time. Yet I still loved her when she came back. I love her even though she hurt me. Another incident was earlier in the relationship,she was going to prom(she was in hs and I already graduated ) and I didn’t go. So I just drive her to the prom location. While driving past the place, I saw my ex with her new bf. To let you know prom was April of 2022 and me and my ex broke up April of 2021. And I found out they were 11 months. And it caught me off guard and seeing them right in front of me hurt. Finding out that she had someone else after the relationship hurt. And my current girlfriend saw that pain. And I hid it. So that ruined everything and her happiness. Whenever we had a fight, she would bring it up. She would use things against me. And I did my best to show her the love and spend all the time I can with her to make up my mistake. But i guess it wasn’t enough. She still holds that incident against me. But i think she let that go. Last few months. Things was a little rough. Around my birthday mid March of 2024, I asked my parents if I could invite her and they said yeah. And I told her she could come. A day before my birthday. My mom changed her mind and said no. And that’s when all of the religion problem started. You see my girlfriend thought my mom didn’t like her, but in reality, my mom was just uncomfortable with how I did things. I didn’t ask her mom if I could date her daughter but also the Christian part. She is a Protestant now that I learned everything. My mom would ask me: how is your relationship going to work if you’re Catholic and she’s Protestant? How are you going to raise a baby? Are you going to convert or is she? And my girlfriend thought my mom didn’t like her. (We all work in the same place) but it was because my mom wasn’t comfortable with how I did things. And on my birthday I told my girlfriend she couldn’t come, and that when all the religion stuff happened. For a month straight I was just thinking and thinking. What do I do? Do I convert? Do I ask her to convert? What are the consequences? If I do convert, will I lose my family? Is converting okay especially if you doing it for love? It just got me thinking and thinking and she waited and waited cried begged, gave me reasons to not leave, we talked about it a little but it was just left to me to decide. All I know this that we want 1 religion,marry in one religion, and support each other in that religion and teach our kids. My first thought was convert to her religion. But then I would just be doing it for love not because I believed in her beliefs. What if my mom stops talking to me since most of my family Catholic. Then I think if that was a mortal sin since I’m forgetting my own religion and going to another. My next thought was compromising. We both stay in our own religion. 1. We are not unified and how will that affect the kids. 2. The plan was get married Christian/protestant and go to Catholic mad and teach our kids Catholic. Will she be happy knowing I’m okay with her being Protestant but not supporting and growing in her church. 3 will our marriage be recognized by the Catholic Church ? 4 a positive about this, some people say (that have gone through this route have said their partner converted eventually. But some have said it causes them to grow farther apart. My last option was breaking up. Not because I hate her or don’t love her. But because I love her enough to let her go so I’m not causing her more pain and wasting her time and breaking her heart even more. But right now I’m just crying . Regretting it . This was my first time break up with someone. I’m used to the other side where they are leaving me. But leaving her. Omg the type of pain is different. Right now I’m just looking at our conversation with a “I miss you” text but not sent. Hasn’t been a day yet and I’m already missing her. I’m just here thinking if I did the right thing or not. I’m just crying on her jacket and pretending she’s sitting next to me in my car. Sorry for the long post, I don’t have anyone to talk to. And so does she and it’s worrying me. I don’t want her to be alone. I’ve been on the other end so I know how it feels . At least I got to spend time with her yesterday and feel her hug,hand, lips, laugh, smile, and eat with her one last time. Sigh

I get the process of emdr and want to do some solo sessions. I found a bilateral sound to use. I use tappers during a session with my therapist that vibrates one hand then the other.
I do emdr for abandonment issues before age 1. Adoption issues too but the main “scene” has been me on the bridge I was left at 6 months. We bring in peaceful resources and engage with the scene to ultimately heal the pain that arises.
I’ve done another scene of me in a room where I was hidden (that i visited when I returned to my home country).
Also on a scene in my kitchen with my mom and sister at age 4. We discovered that’s when I realized I “wasn’t enough” because my mom was stressed which I felt as a kid so I felt like a burden asking for something/getting my needs addressed in that moment.
I want to do some emdr to move faster since it’s been 5 months of doing these same scenes weekly. Of course the first month we didn’t do emdr but prepared but still that’s 15 emdr sessions.
Anyway, wanted to get any advice before I start and see how other people have done doing solo sessions. Please share anything :)

(BAKA ALISIN KO LANG RIN)
(Di po ako nag-iinarte talagang mas na-eexpress ko sarili in English huhu sorry po if it bothers nyo or mag come off ako as maarte 🥲 also please note what i’m saying is more likely to be a spur of the moment type thing)
I got in my dream school, dream program— Ateneo. I also got into UST— now my problem is that they’re both expensive.
For context, my family can afford living above our means and aware ako na we’re more property rich than money rich kasi marami lupa, bahay bahay, farm etc kaso di mayaman in the sense that we can afford to not think about our spending.
Okay so, I’m the youngest of three siblings. Panganay graduate na and working. Yung middle child nakuha ng doctorate, first year.
Afford nila ako pag-aralin sa both schools, maybe moreso UST kaysa Ateneo but the thing is meron na agad kami relatives na willing mag sponsor and tumulong sa TF ko for Ateneo kasi tuwang tuwa sila.
Sabi ng mom & kapatid ko na panganay as a half-joke, naka mindset naman na sila na pupunta ako sa admu kung di lang daw nag pursue agad ng doctorate (this is the half joke) yung isa kong kapatid na middle child.
Tbh di ko naman inexpect papasa ako, handa na ako tanggapin na Ateneo and that program is a dream school and a dream program for a reason. As in, dream— panaginip. Handa ako kahit papaano i-face rejection but of course I still remained positive, praying to God that Thy will be done.
Kaya nung nakita kong pasa ako sa first choice and dream uni ko, sobrang saya ko and all of the sudden that dream was turning into reality. Sila mother ko willing to pay the reservation fee ng slot by May 1 nung nag-usap kami. Kaso nung nag-call na kami with mga kapatid ko nagbago na isip nila. Mas pinupush nila sa UST ako..
Maganda sa UST, I love UST don’t get me wrong ha? But when looking at liberal arts, mas nag lelean ako sa Ateneo. Yung kapatid ko na middle child kasi sa UST from shs to college and I’ve seen how they loved the uni. Kaso tbf iba faculty niya sa faculty na papasukan ko.
I’ve been a quiet child naman, I rarely ask for things unless I really really need it for school. Hell, sobrang aware ko na sa pag separate ng needs and wants ko pag naghihingi sobrang OA ko hindi ako nag-aask for anything higher than 3k (sapatos or damit for special occasions cuz they insist na ayusin ko daw naman outfit cuz rare lang) unless stuff like birthday celebration kung saan sa pagkain naman napupunta pera which I tone down on na inviting only the closest friends as opposed to halos buong batch papakainin/invite sa isang lugar.
I already got burned out following what they want and going to the high school they wanted me to go to even taking the strand they wanted me to take kahit ilang beses ko sinabi sa kanila na ayaw ko na and di ko na kaya. All I want is to choose the program I want. To go to the university I want. I have always compromised for the sake of my siblings. Wala naman akong tanim na galit sa mga kapatid ko, I’m actually very proud of them, I look up to them after all.. Kaso sobrang sakit pagdating sa university.
Alam nila dream school ko yun— sila nagtanim nung dream na yun maliit palang ako na paulit ulit nila sasabihin dapat sa Ateneo ako, na dapat mag-aral at pumasa ako sa admu. And God made that dream blossom into something I ended up loving and being passionate about once I realized what program and field I wanted.
Just because I got used to being put in the backburner, doesn’t mean I’m no longer prone to getting hurt every time it happens. Like, it just hurts to think about them forcing me into a completely different school and program when all I have ever wanted and all I could ever want is already right there being offered to me by my dream university of all places..
I have one relative willing to help with €1,000 (approx 50% per sem) of my TF in admu or even UST if I ask for it. Yung isa ko naman na relative willing na magbigay commute + allowance ko. Ako mismo willing to work if needed para sa projects and allowance ko (pride lang naman ng parents ko tumitigil)! I’m willing to wake up early and commute from MNL to Katipunan just to get to Ateneo everyday.
(Christian/Born again bit here you can choose to not read) I’m still praying to God because I know that He put this dream in ME and NOT THEM, and I know He will always make your dreams come into fruition— binigay nga Niya ay, di naman Siya tao na nambabawi.

I 36F and husband 38M and our child 1M.
I was in the kitchen with my 1 year old son and 12 year old son. My husband was showering.
My 1yo was holding a container of mac n cheese. He had bitten off a piece of the side and was gagging before I noticed. I grabbed him and got it out of his mouth and immediately did infant cpr to help him cough up the rest. I was TERRIFIED. My 12 year old was yelling “it’s ok, we’re going save you!” And I just saw my babys life flash before my eyes. Once I knew my baby was ok, I started crying and shaking and telling him how sorry I was. I immediately moved the Mac n cheese containers to a new place that he couldn’t reach.
My husband got out of the shower and I told him. His immediate response was anger. I told him how scared I was and he started cussing about how much stuff is in the cabinets that needs to be moved and how I didn’t do good enough by moving the Mac n cheese. I understand that he was upset and scared. I was let down that he didn’t even console me or the baby.
I took our baby to the nursery to get him to sleep. My husband came in and started telling me how there’s too much stuff in the cabinets and how it’ll be a 2 hour nightmare to move to stuff. He was mad. All of the cabinets have baby locks except one, which is the one he got the Mac n cheese out of. I just told him that I was terrified and what his son and I just went through was traumatic and that he offered no comfort and only responded with anger. Twice. He just stared at me. I understand why he was mad. But I was still shaking and still am, and he couldn’t see past his anger to take care of us. He just made the situation worse.
He has a terrible temper and gets mad at me all the time. Idk how to take this. How do I talk to him about this?
TLDR: husband got angry and offered no support after choking scare

En el segundo debate rumbo a las elecciones de 2024, las candidatas y el candidato de Fuerza y Corazón por México, Sigamos Haciendo y Movimiento Ciudadano abordarán los temas de cambio climático y desarrollo sustenible. Si bien no son áreas prioritarias de las campañas, asuntos como la crisis del agua, los impactos de los proyectos de infraestructura en los ecosistemas y las oportunidades de la transición energética han ganado la atención de los medios de comunicación y son cada vez más importantes para los mexicanos.
La administración que presida el rumbo de México en el periodo 2025-2030 definirá, por un lado, la resiliencia del país ante los impactos crecientes del cambio climático y, por el otro, el modelo de desarrollo en un mundo que demanda procesos productivos cada vez más limpios. El fin de la siguiente administración coincide con la fecha límite para cumplir con importantes metas de la agenda internacional de sostenibilidad como alcanzar los 17 objetivos de la Agenda 2030, reducir 45% las emisiones de CO2 del Acuerdo de Paris y detener la pérdida de biodiversidad adoptado en el Marco Kunming-Montreal, todos suscritos por México.
En todas las metas vamos atrasados y en algunas de ellas México es de los más atrasados. El último reporte sobre el progreso de la Agenda 2030 concluye que ninguno de los objetivos de desarrollo sostenible (ODS) se cumplirán al 2030 y en algunos casos se cumplirán hasta 2080. En cambio climático, tendríamos que triplicar la capacidad instalada de energía renovable si queremos cumplir con el 45% de reducción de CO2 en 2030. Y para detener la pérdida de biodiversidad, sería necesario que, en 2030, al menos 30% de la superficie terrestre, de aguas interiores y marina del planeta esté protegida.
Según la ONU, México tiene un índice de cumplimiento de 70.4/100 en los ODS. Los mayores desafíos de México son la reducción de las desigualdades, el crecimiento inclusivo y trabajo decente, la industria, innovación e infraestructura, la vida de ecosistemas terrestres, así como la paz, justicia e instituciones sólida. En materia de cambio climático, somos el único país del mundo que no se han comprometido a ser neutro en carbono y también el peor calificado en políticas de transición energética de acuerdo con Climate Action Tracker.
Este año, México cumple 3 décadas de cimentar su política ambiental. Con la creación de la SMARNAP, en 1994, la agenda se elevó a nivel de gabinete y todos los planes nacionales de desarrollo han incorporado objetivos ambientales. Sin embargo, en los hechos la agenda de medio ambiente nunca ha sido prioridad ni tampoco la hemos vislumbrado como oportunidad para fortalecer nuestra competitividad económica. Según el INEGI, en 2022, En 2022, los costos totales por agotamiento y degradación ambiental ascendieron a 1.2 billones de pesos corrientes, monto equivalente a 4.1 % del PIB nacional.
Pero hoy las circunstancias son diferentes. Los impactos del cambio climático ya son tangibles con la devastación de destinos turísticos completos, como Acapulco tras el Huracán Otis, o la amenaza de quedarnos sin agua en el campo y zonas urbanas este mismo año. La UNAM estima que los costos de impactos climáticos podrían superar 1,000 millones de dólares al año en la CDMX, Guadalajara y Monterrey tan sólo en la presente década.
Pero además de blindarnos contra los riesgos emergentes, invertir en sostenibilidad tiene potencial de atraer inversión, generar crecimiento y empleos. El anuncio de inversión privada más importante del sexenio fue la construcción de una mega ensambladora de vehículos eléctricos de Tesla en Santa Catarina, Nuevo León. En los siguientes años se invertirán miles de millones de dólares en manufactura de paneles solares, turbinas eólicas, baterías de litio, autos eléctricos y otros bienes que apoyarán la transición a una economía baja en emisiones. Con la visión y estrategias adecuadas, México podría convertirse líder productor de esas tecnologías.
Las candidatas y el candidato a la presidencia de México han presentado diversas propuestas relacionadas con cambio climático y sostenibilidad. Sin embargo, la agenda sigue sin percibirse como prioritaria por sus riesgos al bienestar de los mexicanos, o por la oportunidad de posicionarnos en un mundo que transita aceleradamente hacia sistemas productivos más limpios.

My son was born earlier this month and I have been on parental leave since then. I am planning to return to work in a few weeks, while my wife will be on leave for the next few months. I’m trying to think through potential schedules that maximize my parenting time while at the same time are realistic and doesn’t over commit and lead to my wife or someone else (MIL, my parents, etc.) constantly picking up the slack on short notice.
For potentially helpful context, I expect to generally have a good amount of time and flexibility to work and be a dad. I am a lawyer, and I can work up to 100% remote. My daily schedule is usually pretty open with minimal meetings and most meetings are internal and can be moved. I generally work 9-5 and rarely have work in the evenings or weekends. A few times a month there will be a court hearing or another event where I cannot easily turn away to feed or change a diaper if I need, but otherwise I can generally pick up and put down my work if I need to. There are some exceptions to that, like trial, which requires much more time and attention, but I do not currently have any scheduled and they do not come up that often.
The two work/parenting schedules that seem most intuitive are 1) planning to take the lion’s share of parenting on specific days, for example, taking Monday and Friday as days where I am primarily responsible for watching/feeding/changing my son, or 2) dividing up each day - for example watching/feeding/changing my son from 8 am - 11 am and 4 pm - 6 pm. While my wife is on leave the idea would be that she would be able to nap, run errands, etc. while I am watching our son; however, the hope is that this schedule will also help us
Naturally, this schedule is more of a framework than something set in stone since any number of things come up that require adjustment. Or maybe it’s better to think of the schedule as aspirational. I think I’m just looking for a good starting point so that A) we do have a plan once I go back to work, B) we try to do as much as we can to avoid the parenting burden feel like it’s shifting entirely to my wife, and C) the plan makes the most of my telework/flexible-ish schedule.
That was longer than I planned, but I’ll blame that on the lack of sleep that comes with feeding every three-ish hours. Looking forward to hearing any thoughts/tips/advice you have.

Hello, I'm an incoming freshman at Stuyvesant.
There is a language placement test happening at Camp Stuy (6/6), and I was considering skipping Spanish 1 and going straight into Spanish 2 since I would be able to finish Spanish a year earlier and have a free period in my senior year. Yesterday, I got sent a review sheet of Spanish 1 concepts from the school, and I realized Spanish 1 covers a lot of vocabulary I haven't gone over in my middle school class. I have already learned all the grammar concepts in the review sheet, but there is a lot of vocabulary I haven't learned. For me though, vocabulary isn't hard to memorize.
Will it be worth skipping Spanish 1 when I'm just getting used to high school? What are some benefits of skipping a year? What was your experience like in Spanish 1 compared to Spanish 2?
An even easier route I can take is taking Japanese. I was born in Japan so I'm relatively fluent; I can read to an extent but only write basic characters. I wanted to take Spanish as after my LOTE, I'll be able to say I'm "trilingual" on college applications. I feel like taking Japanese will be a waste of time when I can take another language, but a lot of people recommend taking your native language. Is it worth taking your native language just because of a lesser workload?

My wife and I have 3 children all grown. Our oldest bought his own home after living rent free in a home my wife and I owned. We had 3 houses then and planned on leaving one to each child. The oldest has been a huge and expensive challenge all his life but finally turned himself around in his 40s. He has a good position and supports himself financially now. I ended up retiring early due to physical disability and ended up with a good deal of medical debt. My wife has been a stay at home mom since our middle child was born. Our middle son has been a great help and wants one of the homes and contributes financially to helping my wife and I pay down our debt. Our youngest daughter has never worked outside the home. She has moderate anxiety issues and lives with my wife and I. I have term insurance that should pay any debt if I pass and I have a pension that would go to my wife. I am planning on leaving everything to my wife and hers leaves everything to me. We have added if the other spouse should die at same time all property and assets will go to the middle son and youngest daughter to be shared equally. We are not doing this in any way to punish the oldest but he doesn’t want to live where we do and we don’t want our other to children to have to sell anything since this is their home. My wife is worried that if we don’t leave something to the oldest he could contest the will. Our property is in North Carolina. My question is this something that we need to address?

!!Long Post!!
Unsure if I should post this here or not.. but haven't been able to share this, and I don't know if it's a common occurance or not.
I have always had interesting dreams. Dreams that have happened later in life, dreams of saying goodbye to loved ones and waking up to them dead. Nightmares about things attacking me in the room I stayed and being woken up at 3:33 a.m as the 8 hour music I had playing was somehow paused at 3:33:33.
Yet by far, the most interesting dreams I have had was with a boy with blonde hair and blue eyes.
There is only 6 dreams I know he was in. All spread out through the years, but I always knew it was him when I woke up.
The first dream I had was in 7th grade. In the dream I was walking around this amusement park in the town I resided in, and it was empty. The only people there was me, and this tall blonde haired blue eyed boy.
At first I thought it was my crush at the time, but realized that 1, My crush didn't have that light skin tone and hair color, and 2, this was the first time I have ever seen a person's face in my dream so vividly, and it 100% was not my crush at the time.
Anyways, I am walking around the fairgrounds with this boy, and we decided to go on the fairis wheel. Upon getting on, I felt the anxiousness I always do while on those wheels, and felt the boy grab my hand. He then says to me "Thank you for going on this date with me. I hope we meet again." And shortly after I woke up.
I don't remember the dream I had with him after that one, I just remembered that I saw a familiar face which was his. I never thought too much of it at the time, because I was in 7th-8th grade during those two dreams. Yet all I do know is that I can instantly recognize his face, and I feel a calm and warm presence whenever he is around. (Makes me wonder if I had any other dreams with him that I can't remember.)
A side note, people normally have dreams and see people they know in them, but for me, if it's a dream and it's with someone I know, the person always has a weird alteration to their appearance, like if you were looking at an AI generated photo. For the boy, he looked real, never in my life have I seen him but nothing about him looked like the normal dream people I've seen all my life. (The only exceptions were the loved ones saying goodbye, I saw their faces clearly aswell.)
Anyways, the next dream I had with him, it was a silly one. I was leaving school after gym class and waiting for my grandma to pick me up. I was for some reason pulling up my sweat pants and trying to hide in them?? A voice from beside the bench makes me stop and I turn to see that familiar face again, and I just stared, almost like I was about to realize I was not in a dream in that moment.
Then I felt if my attention was getting pulled away from the boy, and I quickly get forced into looking at my grandma driving up in her car. Once I felt like I could move on my own again, I look back to the boy and see that he is gone. I was a Junior in highschool.
Now, we are getting into the weirder dreams with him. In this dream I was training to be a survivor in the zombie apocalypse. It had not started yet, but me and a bunch of people were testing in an underground place to see who would get released into the apocalypse with the better gear. After all the testing, no one scored above the top 50, so when we were about to get released into the world, we had to stand 50 feet away from the exit.
Soon the zombie fog(fog that turns people into zombies) started arriving. After about 50 seconds of waiting for our turn to grab the supplies and run, I book it outside, meeting a random group of survivors and that was the end of it.. until I woke up, and went back to sleep. When I went back to sleep, I felt as if everything I had just went through in the dream was re-winded and I was back in the testing room. Yet this time I was fully lucid.
I took advantage of this and made sure to ace the test, since it seemed unless you were lucid you'd be stuck with the rest of the group, which I was wanting to avoid this time around. After the test we went into a waiting room area, and I was talking to this random Korean man, and he and I were just chatting and I made a joke saying "if you are real add my Instagram" and he said bet, (he never added me on Instagram lol) but after I did that, I felt my body move on its own. I was still fully aware it was a dream, but I felt like something was moving me. And I was moved in front of this person, I didn't get to see what they looked like but a sense of familiarity overcame me.
The test was then calculated, and I was the only one who went in the first place, so it was me, a bunch of empty space, and everyone else... that is what I thought until I saw a blonde boy tied in first place with me. In my head I was baffled, because only a person aware it was a dream would have made it to the top.. so why was he there?
We get released back outside, me and the blonde the first ones out of course. I follow this motorcycle dude, to a hilltop (he was in the group I made in the first part of the dream)and for some reason the blonde boy was following us aswell and as the zombie fog got closer and closer, we were forced to jump off the cliff and hide under the water. While in the water, I felt the fog brushing against my back, it felt so real. I then gained the courage to breathe while under the water, realizing I was in a dream and I couldn't drown.
Once the fog was gone, I instantly realized who the blonde haired boy was. I quickly stand up, and so does the other two. I force my attention on the boy, and he looks straight at me as well, and I locked eyes with his blue ones. "Why are you always in my dreams?" I asked.
He looks at me confused, "No, your the one always in my dreams!" Instantly I felt myself forget I was in a dream, and my attention was forced to look at a zombie, I was no longer lucid for some reason.. and the boy disappeared from my dream after that.
The next dream happened 2 days after that one. I was in a normal dream, or nightmare I assume. This grudge lady was dragging me down the hall, over and over again. The lights turning off behind her, as I faced watching all of it happened. Yet before she could turn the corner, she woulds stop, and there would be a figure in the corner of the hall we came from watching us.
This dream repeated that same scene over and over again. I would switch places with the person on the corner of the hall, watching them get dragged down it, and they would watch me do the same. After about what felt like an hour, the person who was being dragged looked at me and spoke, "I'm getting tired of this dream, aren't you?" And I instantly woke up. Yet I wanted to go back to sleep, which I did.
So I went to sleep, and it looked like I was playing omegle in the dream I was dreaming, but it kept making me wake up, and I'd force myself to sleep again, each time this happened, the scene would change, and I noticed that I was on a tablet, and as I kept waking up and going back to sleep, I felt as if my attention was slowly getting away from the tablet, like I was pulling away from the suction. As this kept happening, I was still waking up and going back to sleep.
Soon a guy with brown hair and a black suit and top hat appeared, and he was mocking me for waking up and going back to sleep, saying "Why don't you just stay asleep? Or maybe just wake up huh?" I ignored the man and kept waking up and sleeping again, I was almost out of the suction, I could see the edge of the tablet. Soon, a white being appeared, he looked like a child, but had white hair, pale white skin, and a white suit. He was asking if I was ok, if I was stressing out, he told me to just wake up. I ignored him aswell.
I woke up one last time, and as I went back to sleep I finally was able to pull away from the tablet. Instantly I was lucid, and I saw that i was in a warehouse, around me were thousands and thousands of grayed out people who's attentions were all on their tablets, I looked at the few around me and realized that each one was a different dream. I look up to see how far the warehouse was another person standing up. Once they stood up a alarm went off and I found myself in the middle of a lobby of some sorts, it was like all the games you've ever seen or played meshed into on lobby.
There were people walking around, like a busy new York street. I felt confused, but I just casually started exploring the area. A intercom voice echos through the lobby saying "turn on the protocol, two are aware, two are aware."
Instantly all of the people's heads turned into emoticons, and it made me realize that they were just random NPC's. I continue to walk around when the white being from earlier came over to me and grabbed my shoulders. I could physically feel this, and it freaked me out. The white being had a worried expression and asked me, "What are you doing here? Why didn't you wake up! You need to wake up."
I shrug and try to wake up but it didn't work. So the being sighs and tells me he has to bring me to the safe house before the other one finds me. So we jump across the crossy road and make our way to the minecraft safe house. As we got closer, the white being drags me to hide between the graying out border and some bushes. In the safe house was the brunette guy in a top hat from earlier. He was speaking in a random hanging microphone, "I got eyes on the blonde boy, find the brunette girl, find the brunette girl."
The white being then turns to me, and grabs my shoulders again, he looks me dead in the eyes and says, "You need to wake up. Right. Now."
I then woke up, and was unable to fall back asleep for another 30ish hours. I told my mom about the dream, and she suggested that this blonde boy was someone sharing dreams with me, but I didn't really think much of it. That was before I turned 18, after highschool.
The last dream I remember with him was a year ago, in the dream I had to move back in with my dad, and I was attending a school like Hogwarts, but you could go home or something. It was weird because I was an adult in the dream so why did I have to go to school?
Anyways, my dad sells me off to get married to this random guy. And I am forced to live in their luxury house. Yet I never meet the guy, (I am not lucid in the dream so I was very compliant). After weeks of not meeting this guy, a boy in a dres shirt and suit vest comes inside of the home. His hair was blonde and swoopy, and he had the brightest blue eyes. For some reason I felt enamored with him.
The scene quickly changed, and I am in a Applebee's with my older brother and this boy. My older brother was juggling rings made out of fire, and he flings one in the air like a coin and catches it. "You two should just get married." He says, and I turn to the boy, feeling almost in love. Yet the boy was smiling, he gave me an awkward or sad smile before the scene changed again.
We were walking to the flying cars to go to school, and he quickly grabs my hand. "Remember that time we met, and went on the fairis wheel?" He starts, "or that time your grandma picked you up, or the time we ran from zombies?" He was reminding me of all the dreams we shared, but I just stared at him confused, for I didn't remember it in the dream. Then things started to click in my mind. As they started to click in my mind a name quietly echoes in my brain, it got louder and louder until I couldn't bare it anymore. Yet once it clicked, I looked at the boy, lucid for one split second.. his name was Harrison.
Suddenly I was being forced back into the dream, the moon was aparrently crashing into earth, causing Co2 fumes into the air, and it was going to hit Chicago?? Before anything else could happen I felt a pair of hands grab me, and I look over at the boy named Harrison one last time. He says to me, "I will find you."
Then I wake up.
Now idk if this is anything, but it sure as hell is interesting. I've been convincing myself it's just my imagination, but the fact some of my friends have said they shared a dream recently with a blonde boy, sometime refering or asking about me. My older brother recently told me he did have a dream(he never dreams) that he was juggling rings that were hot to the touch, and saw a blonde boy next to him and me across from him. Yet before he flung the ring in the air he said "you two should stop whatever this is that your doing." In his dream.
BUT I don't know if people are just messing with me. So that's that. Thank you for reading, sorry if it was boring and sorry it was so long haha....
HARRISON IF YOUR OUT THERE WHY TF ARE YOU IN MY DREAMS!!

My husband's grandmother, she has no idea how to discipline our nephew. Hes 15, and showing signs of major anger issues, misogynistic, problems with authority, narcissism, etc. He idolized our grandmas bf and hes an arrogant, racist, ahole... Which, this wouldn't be any of my business if the child wasn't taking out so much of his anger and resentment on me. This morning she comes to me crying talking about leaving her own home, running away, this 87byeae old woman, because he will not do the chores he volunteered to do. Such as, take care of the dogs- obviously including letting them out to use the restroom and cleaning up the floor if they happen to go inside. Hes now passed he us responsible for the dogs he agreed to be responsible for, is neglecting them and neglecting the house meaning shit on the floorr. All over the hall way. For days at a time. Why? Because there are two women in the house. He shouldn't have to clean up. Now, previously I cleaned up when I had the time or energy to to help his ungrateful butt out. He complained I did nothing. I stopped helping and I won't help this child slack off his responsibilities around here. I hate seeing this 87yr old woman bend down to pick up dog shit because her grandson decided he doesn't have to listen to her. Hes deliberately disrespectful towards me and my husband coming into our room and taking what he pleases. Trying to break into her bank account. Skipping school. Failing nearly all of his classes. She doesn't have a clue what to do about it. I'm asking if anyone can suggest anything because I nearly blew up on him this morning got cursing at her for not demanding I clean up the dog shit he refuses to clean up. Hes angry he has chores in his guardians home, and my husband and I do not. WE ARE TWICE HIS AGE. he literally doesn't understand the difference between children and adults.... hes also treated to "report me". Not to my face, to his grandmother. I said for what?! She said j have no idea. I'm a new mom. My sons are 1 and 1mo. I know exactly what he meant by that. I don't agree with how she deals with it, just yelling and cursing. Belittling. But there's no telling her that's not the way to handle it. Shes 87 and this is her home. God, I love the kid. I do. And I owing his mother and father a d how they are I felt for him and ive always wanted to be and tried to be a positive and stable person in his life as much as I can but I wouldn't know what to do if this was my own child. Disrespect and a little rebellious is normal. Trying to break into bank accounts and completely blowing off school... if its not a server attitude problem or personality disorder then he must be bordering on developmentally disabled. Cause screwing off your education is just outright dumb and reckless. Honestly I worry his anger issues may lead to something violent. You hear aot about young men with anger issues these days and fire arms. I'd be the second if not the first person he would target before doing something far worse. Maybe thats dramatic but the possibly is there and more common than it ever should've been..
TLDR: Tips for disciplining teens with more severe attitude problems/authority issues?
Edit: typos, hopefully none that would confuse anyone reading. Apologies, my glaucoma makes typing difficult.

My oldest grandchild Seth (15M) is for the most part your real rough and tumble boy. You know wrestling and football and fishing and hunting and all that even if he is gay. Only thing is his daddy's to soft with him you know. It was one thing when he was a lil kid and he was upset or sick etc and he curled up with his dad but, now hes almost full grown and still does it. Juts last week he runs over to his dads house on his mom's weeks without telling her just to cuddle up on his dad with his head in his lap while my son comforts him like a 5 year old over a break up. IT be one thing if he was a girl or if he was being comforted by his mom but he shouldn't be such a daddy's boy at his age.
Whille he was fishing with me yesterday morning I had a talk with him. You know I just told him that it wasnt fair of him to not tell his mom and run off to his dads. He tells me he "needed" dad. I go on to say maybe hes to old to go crying to his daddy lap everytime something is wrong. It wasn't really man like.He ask me if i was that way with his daddy and I tell him yeah when he was lil not as teen. That most of his daddy's friends wouldve laughed at him if they knew I was still treating him like that at 15. He just gets the shocked look on his face.
Later that night I get a call from my son mad at me for saying what I said. He yells at me that how he parents and shows affection to his son is none of my business. I tell him I was only saying teh truth and he knows it. Told him I showed him the normal amount of fatherly affection and he turned out fine. He tell me that maybe Seth and the other kids like having more and I should jaut but out. AITA?

many years ago my best friend since high school was getting married ( I didn't like the guy but was supportive of her) She and I had been thru hell and back for each other over many years, our families loved each other and we were even god mothers to each others kids. Well, her brother's wife was another story. She was a spiteful upright bible clutcher who never liked me. Especially after she tried to bully and be a bitch at my friend's fathers funeral. The sister-in-law, I'll call her Ann. She and I almost went to blows at the wake, that's another story. Anyway, my besties wedding comes up, I opted out of duties because the wedding was going to be too close to my due date. We were good with it and I was side line involved. I have my son a month before the wedding, I've always been a firm ' no babies at wedding or funerals' person but my mom got sick and couldn't babysit. Me and bestie discussed it and agreed I would just sit at the back of the church in case he got fussy. He was beyond perfect, A couple little happy coo noises but never crying. We get over to the reception , he's still being super baby all the girls were fawning over him asking to hold him, he was eating up the attention. Till Ann stepped up, my hatred for this woman was no secret but I was trying to play nice for my friends sake. Just as she got him close to her...the gods smiled and sent him spewing like a cartoon character. Just open mouth and go like Exorcist style but baby formula, which smells worse. No crying just Blech! It covered her completely even the hair, she was losing it so I went to get him back and my beloved little vomit machine just smiled and went back to being overly cute. She was screaming I had done it on purpose, while all the guests were simply " How?" Even the preacher was failing at hiding his laughter. It's been several years since her wedding and she still thanked him for that gift.

I am 16 years old and a sophmore in high school. I have lost all motivation in school, as I feel like it is a waste of time to me. I know that everything that I learn in school right now will not apply towards anything I want to do in the future. I want to be involved in the sports world when I am older, like either being an analyst, or even just being a sports better. My parents try to get me to do school, especially my mom. She will constantly be checking to see if I did my assignments, but since I think its all a waste, I will just turn in blank papers to tell her that I did them. I do not care about my grades anymore, and basically only go to school to socialize. Intelligence has never been the problem, as I have been able to read since about 1 1/2 years old. I have also heard from some of my teachers that they think that it's best for me to drop out. My parents do not, as they think I will be just throwing my future down the drain. I know that the beginning will be hard, as I will have to find a job, but I know I would rather be doing that than being at school. I would love feedback on what I should do.

Looking for advice. My “perfect” toddler has become a “terrible two”.
Background: My husband and I do majority gentle/ Montessori parenting. We have firm boundaries around it but it has worked amazingly thus far. Up until this past 3 weeks our son has been a really great kid. Now I’m not saying he never had tantrums or acted out but we could always get on his level and calm him down or redirect behavior. Four weeks ago we moved into a bigger house my mil offered to watch him so we could move easier since I was 9 months pregnant. After much hesitation and a week of basically nothing getting done we caved and let her.
Our hesitation was because she has two much younger kids (13 year age gap) that are terribly behaved. She is a great grandmother but not the best mother. Her kids (11&8) don’t listen to anyone, have bad attitudes, ect. We limit alone time as much as possible because of this. However after three days she said there schedule got busy and she couldn’t meet us to give him back. (We live 5hrs away) We finally met after 6 days and he was a completely different kid.
Now here’s where I need help. This past month 1. A week with mil. 2. Moving into a bigger house. 3. We had our second baby 3days ago.* I completely understand that big changes cause behavioral changes! But none of our usual tactics are working. (Getting on his level. Talking it out. Letting him feel his emotion/ have his space before calming him down, ect.)
Our main problem is he has started throwing things including at the baby. And bloody murder screaming.
*Before you ask yes we did a ton of research about introducing a baby. Did all of the things we could think of. We don’t say no more, don’t blame the baby, giving him one on one still everyday. His behavior started before the baby.
Sorry this turned into a bit of a rant…..
TLDR: How do I get my toddler to stop throwing and bloody murder screaming???

So I want to preface this by saying, I've been aware of the GamerGate movement since at least 2014, and I used to be very, very strongly against GamerGate. I specifically remember reading an article describing it back in the day and thinking "well, this is stupid" and more or less writing it off as a bunch of fringe weirdos trying to kick women out of gaming. I suppose I should also mention (since people will undoubtedly consider this a factor) that I am a white, straight, cis male from a rural area. My life experiences largely reflect this, and I do not believe that being white gives you any advantage in the year 2024 nor that being of any other race gives you a disadvantage purely because of ones race. I believe that people are products entirely of their circumstances which I do acknowledge vary by race due to prevalent socio-economic conditions in those communities. I acknowledge that women experience discrimination in many forms throughout their lives. I would describe myself as entirely apathetic to social justice movements, as I believe most of them have no reasonable, defined conditions for when their demands have been met and that many of them are grifts benefiting a small number of people financially.
Well 10 years later and I've been having a bit of a crisis lately wondering why every single video game, every single movie, every single TV shows is absolute garbage compared to what we got 20,10 or even just 5 years ago. Video games are my only escape from how much life fucking sucks, there are the one place I can amount to something. I can be a great general, a race car driver, a hero traveling across ancient lands collecting rare loot, etc. Yet every single game seems to be filled with predatory monetization schemes, and worse yet is shoved FULL of obvious pandering to every group of whiny, terminally online twitter users out there and in your face real world politics.
I hate to say it, but I feel like the only people that see what is happening and are trying to stop it, trying to protect our hobby, is the GamerGate crowd. Nobody else is offering solutions or a platform for discussion If you try to mention this shit anywhere else you get banned or otherwise removed from the discussion. I don't agree with everything that goes on in the GamerGate scene and I won't deny there are a small number of bad actors who use GamerGate as a cloak for what is just blatant bigotry, but most people are just sick of the all the insanity and pandering going on. People that just want the kind of games we got 20 years ago made again. People try to categorize GamerGate as a far right hate group, but most of these people would have been considered mainstream US liberals 20 years ago. FFS I myself tend to lean towards extreme left wing economic policy, and I used to lean pretty far left in terms of social policy but I feel like I'm slowly drifting away from that because of the same reasons I feel I'm being forced into the GamerGate sphere. If I don't feel like my views are being given fair consideration, and that I don't have a voice in something, and that I don't have a place in a movement my usual response is to support the opposite side.
Some examples of things that have caused a stir in the past few years:

• The censorship of the video game Stellar Blade where in several of the characters outfits were modified to be less revealing and the games gore was toned down considerably. This was done in a day 1 patch, after the reviewers had already had review copies sent to them. This also came after the devs promised the game was going to be uncensored in all regions. The game was also given lower review scores by some gaming journalists because of the revealing out fits.
• It was discovered that many 3rd party consulting firms were interfering in the development of games by requiring games meet certain diversity quotas before they would work on the game (these 3rd party firms are largely necessary to create modern games due to their scale), this led to games having their characters radically altered. A common example is Alan Wake 2, where a character previously shown to be white in a teaser at the end of Quantum Break 2 has been race swapped to black, with allegations this was done at the request of the 3rd party consulting firm. The game, set 10 years after the original, also contains other obvious alterations to the portrayal of race in universe such as the main town the game is set (which is a stereotypical rural mountain town) suddenly going from having a very low black population to an unrealistic near 50/50 ratio. Some of these firms even are openly focused on inserting diversity into games, such as the consultancy firm Black Girl Gamers.
• Rampant censorship in remakes of old video games, such as alterations or removal of content deemed to be sexist, racist, or otherwise problematic despite having been considered to be perfectly fine 10 or 20 years ago.
• The developers of the video game Kingdom Come Deliverance have been repeatedly harassed about the fact that their video game, which is set in medieval europe, does not contain many people of color, thus claiming the game is not diverse. This is despite the fact that Europe was very mono racial in the locale and time the game takes place in, and the game is in fact extremely diverse featuring accurate representations of many different ethnic groups. I'd argue these people don't know that not all white people were historically considered to be of the same racial group. Wars were literally fought over determining who could be considered white, even if the peoples warring had nearly identical skin tones.
• Translations of many Japanese video games commonly have their dialogue edited in such a way as to change the meaning of what was said to align more with western speech patterns and in particular to meet the western definition of what is appropriate for the targeted video game rating.
• Hogwarts Legacy, a game set in the Harry Potter universe, was forcibly boycotted by almost every online discussion platform in an attempt to tank the sales of the game. This was done because the creator of the IP is a known political activist who's takes are considered by some to be problematic. This is despite the video game containing content which is directly opposite to the opinion of the author. Just mentioning that you bought and enjoyed the game was enough to get you banned from many major online discussion platforms (I bought it on launch day, FYI).
• Jason Schreier several years ago attacked a newly founded video game studio saying that "its shocking a new video game studio still looks like this" in reference to to a picture of the studios staff whom all appeared to be white and male. This is despite the fact that it was a small studio, that arose out of the common interests of a group of friends who wanted to make a video game.
• Renowned video game writer Chris Avellone was essentially kicked out of the industry several years ago after allegations of sexual harassment by several women. His contributions were removed from several up and coming games, and he subsequently found it nearly impossible to find work in the industry. These claims were later admitted to be 100 percent fabricated by the women in question, yet none of Avellones work was restored to games that had been in development, nor was his position in the industry restored. In fact, some people continued to treat Avellone as guilty.

I believe that all of these things wouldn't have happened 20 years ago, as what was acceptable in a video game was much more broad and there were far less mandates in place as to diversity in a video game. Before I go any further, I must define both Gamer Culture and the Gamer Identity.

• Gamer Culture: The culture surrounding video games, the prevalent attitudes towards gaming, and the industry and fandom around video games. Specifically it is the culture of people who would identify as Gamers.
• the Gamer Identity: People who first and foremost identity themselves as Gamers. This is similar to how someone who partakes in Skateboarding might identify themselves as a skateboarder first and foremost. The Gamer is someone who's primary hobby is playing video games, is heavily invested into video game culture, and has a genuine interest in the fine details of gaming.

I believe both these things have been diluted by an influx of activists from outside groups who feel they have a right to be represented in every aspect of the world. Most of these people probably do not even play video games, but are in positions of power within the games industry anyways and seek to force a change in gaming culture from the top down and force the traditional gaming crowd out of the hobby. I'll be blunt: Gaming is a traditionally male, traditionally nerdy, and largely white space. This should not be used as a reason to exclude anyone from gaming, but it should be considered when evaluating the hobby. Nearly every hobby you can think of has a core demographic, this is the core demographic of gaming. The problem is there a massive push in gaming to demonize and exclude that core demographic for the purpose of catering to people who would not otherwise participate in video gaming. These groups have brought their hyper-politicized social justice movements with them and are attempting to forcibly integrate the gaming space into those movements.

• If you complain about unrealistic or lore-incompatible changes to race you are called a racist
• If you complain about unrealistic or lore incompatible changes to the ratio of males to females in games you are called a sexist.
• If you complain about the uglification of women in video games you are accused of "wanting content to satisfy the male gaze" and called an incel

etc it goes on and on. The fact of the matter nobody had a problem with a game that had a mostly or entirely white character group 20 years ago, nobody had a problem with strong straight male leads in video games 20 years ago, nobody was concerned with the size of Lara Crofts chest 20 years ago, etc. Because people recognized that games were primarily made by white, nerdy, men for other white, nerdy, men. This isn't a conspiracy theory or some supremacist assertion, connect to any online game and listen to the voice chat and you'll see this reflected. Look at old school game developers and their staff composition. Look at the crowds at major industry events. Outsiders or people partaking casually in gaming (whom are not culturally gamers) saw this and have made every effort to force that core group out of gaming by making sure there almost no games that are made for that group. Today companies like Ubisoft literally have diversity quotas for their staff, major gaming corporations go out of their way to diversify their upper management even if that means having fewer cultural gamers on their staff in leadership positions, etc. Major news outlets will assault the games industry at random to try to force IRL mainstream politics into the industry. This is all tied into the modern political hysteria surrounding race and gender in America. I generally align with the saying that if something was acceptable 20 years ago, it should probably still be acceptable today, as the last 10-15 years seems to be where we went off the rails and stopped solving actual issues in our country, and started focusing on fake manufactured culture war shit.
GamersGate was correct, they just saw this stuff coming before anyone else did. Or maybe the grievances of the movement changed over time to reflect what was happening to the industry. Either way I believe GamerGate is right, and is no way shape or form a hate movement. Most of us just want the kind of games we enjoyed 10 or 20 years ago to be made again, and to not have to deal with IRL politics and social standards in the games we specifically play to get away from that bullshit. We don't even want to exclude anyone from playing games, we just want those people to respect that they are walking into OUR culture and that it isn't their place to file complaints or demand change. I wish I could make that sentence more highlighted than just changing the font to being bolded. I feel like this has been additionally caused by the fact people don't understand anymore that the Internet isn't real life. You insulting someone in a video game isn't the same as insulting them IRL, its OK to do (some) things that aren't socially acceptable IRL online. You can be a bitt more of a jackass because nobody is taking it seriously (unless they didnt get the memo not to). Its an outlet from the insane amount of work it takes to not get yourself cancelled in today society. I just want my fucking hobby back, I want more games like the ones that I used to enjoy so much when I was younger. And I want to not be labeled as bigoted, racist, sexist incel for wanting games that cater to its original core demographic and for the industry to be turn back around towards quality games made by true creatives.

This story, like Gaul, comes in three parts: Background, Complication, and Theory. I am working on a theory that my 3x great grandpa married two women with the same name, including my 3x great grandma.
BACKGROUND
Five years ago, I found this photo after grandma went to the nursing home, and submitted this post about it. Within days, I had death records and census and marriage records to tie all these folks together. The photo depicts my great great grandma Margaret Frances "Fannie" Shelley (bottom right) and her three siblings: Ida V., Charles (top right), and Edgar. This photo continues to anchor an obsession that I have with this family.
Thanks to the info I got on this sub, I was eventually able to identify all the people in this picture that I didn't find until after my Grandma passed. If there's interest, I'll make another post retracing how I tracked them all down. But this post is about my 3x great grandparents.
Here's the story. My 2x great grandma is Fannie Shelley (1865–1938), daughter of Peter Shelley and Eliza Moore. I know this from her death certificate (1938) and her marriage certificate (1883).
Here's what I know about Peter and Eliza.
Peter was born to David Shelley and Anna Wright around 1825 in Kentucky. He joined the "Montgomery Boys" in 8 Oct 1847 and served in the Mexican War until 28 Jul 1848. He appears on the 1850 census living with the Stonebreakers a few houses down from his brother George (also near my 5x great grandma Catherine Krout) in Union Township, Montgomery County. With him is living Eliza J. Shelley, born c. 1825, in Ohio.
My Peter and Eliza had their children: Fannie (1865), Ida (1867), Charlie (1870), and Edgar (1877). I have not been able to locate them in the 1860 or 1870 censuses. Peter died in 1877, recorded in Fannie's 1938 obituary as dying when she was 12. Edgar was born May 1 according to his grave, and Fannie turned 12 on April 20, 1877 — so her dad might have died any time in that range. I believe that he died in Newtown, Fountain Co.
Eliza A. Shelley appears on the 1880 census as living alone with 3 (not 4) children. Fanni M, aged 4 (this is incorrect; she's 14), Ida V., aged 13, and Alfred E., aged 3 in Stockwell, IN (Tippecanoe Co.). Eliza is 45 (born 1835) and her birthplace is given as Indiana.
An aside: I found 10-year-old Charles living with James F. Thompson and his wife Sarah Moore In Madison Township, Montgomery County. This Sarah Moore may be a relation to Eliza somehow. Her sister Catherine married a first cousin to James, David Thompson. James in 1880 was uncle to 10-year-old Frank Thompson, destined to be Fannie's second husband (after her first died) and my 2x great grandpa.
Eliza gathered Peter's pension as soon as it became available in 1887, according to newspaper and pension records in Ladoga. I believe that she died on July 20, 1892 due to a memorial card I found in a family photo album.
THEN I FOUND MORE RECORDS
A stash of postcards from around 1910 came into my possession. Among them, several from "Maglennie" Shelley to "Aunt Fannie," also credited to Bertha Sharp. A quick search turned up Maglena and Bertha Shelley (m. William Sharp 1906), sisters, daughters of William H. Shelley and Mary Smith. William H. Shelley was the son of... Peter and Eliza Shelley!
Now to the second Peter and Eliza. This Peter was born 1827 in Kentucky. He married Eliza Jane Crane on May 27, 1849 in Montgomery County. They had three children: William (1851), John (1855), and Elizabeth (1859). They appear together on the 1860 census in Butler Township of Miami, Indiana. Eliza J. Shelley was born 1828. Living with them is also a Margaret Smith. This Eliza J. was born in Ohio.
Recap: there is a marriage record (1849) for Peter(2) and Eliza J., no marriage record for Peter(1) and Eliza A. 1850 census matched the birth years and placed their births in KY & OH, same as Peter(2) and Eliza J. Do we trust the census takers to get a middle initial, birth years and places right?
The plot thickens! While there was no marriage record for Peter(1) and Eliza A., there is a marriage record for a Peter "Shelly" and Eliza Ann Watson in Montgomery County, March 31, 1863 (attached). AND there's a marriage record for an Eliza A. Moore and a Joseph Watson from April 13, 1848 in Montgomery County (attached).
HERE'S MY THEORY
There is only one Peter Shelley, but two Elizas. Peter married first Eliza Jane Crane after the Mexican War and had three children. Then, around 1861, his first wife died and he remarried Eliza A. Moore Watson, her first husband having died. They had four more children until his death in 1877.
For this theory to hold water, I need to find this family on the 1870 census. There ought to be Peter and Eliza A., and at least four kids: John (14), Elizabeth (11), Fannie (5), and Ida (3). So far, none of these folks have appeared on the 1870 census.
I would also love to see a death or divorce for this Joseph Watson, and Joseph & Eliza Watson on the 1850 and 1860 censuses.
Thanks for reading this far. What do you think of my theory? Is there anything I've overlooked?