I read Precious Little Sleep and tried their method that's basically Ferber at 7 months old. Baby plateued at crying for 10-15 minutes when put down. After a whole month, it was still at 10-15 minutes. Around 2-5 night wakeups, I would feed at two of them but did let baby cry back to sleep if not one of the two feeding times.
I did the same wind down routine for naps but only difference was a bounced to sleep at the end because PLS said it's important when sleep training for them to get good sleep during the day and they won't get confused by naps being different than at night. PLS said wait until baby can sleep independently before tackling naps. So that's what I did.
Then at 8mo baby got sick and so I was constantly using the snot sucker and bouncing or feeding to sleep for comfort. At 8.5 months baby got better and we started the PLS method all over again. It's been 3 weeks (baby is now 9 mo) and it still takes 10-25 minutes for baby to stop crying and fall asleep. Naptimes have been fussier too.
What should I try to tweak or do differently? Should I also try to use the incremental checkins method for naps like we did with bedtime even though bedtime is not accomplished yet? Are some babies just so stubborn that sleep training doesn't work for them?
Our bedtime/nap wind down routine for context. It takes about 15 minutes. - Put on jammies/sleep sack - Baby on mama's lap while reading the same 5 bed-themed board books in the same order - Baby in arms while pulling down blackout shades. We say "Goodnight trees" to the window where there are trees outside and "Goodnight garden" to the window looking out to our garden. Baby likes to "help" close the shades with mama - Turn on sound machine and red light - Sing the same lullaby - If nap, bounce while walking around the room singing the lullaby and then transfer when asleep - If bedtime, after one verse of lullaby, set down, say "Good night [name]. I love you. I'll see you in the morning." Then give a kiss and leave the room.

Computer hardware is used and pulled from working systems.
Blackberry is used but in flawless condition. Unlocked to any carrier.
Quadro SOLD
Quadro
i7-10700 -$155/each
i7-9700 -$125/each
i5-9400f -$50/each
i5-7400 -$30
i5-6400 -$20
Blackberry -$250
Blackberry
Blackberry
Blackberry
Blackberry

I adore Ravenloft and all its theming and idea so much. My friend got me the 5E Ravenloft book and we played Strahd a few years ago. I’ve been itching to return to the domains and have been kicking the idea of running an anthology style game, with the same party bouncing between different domains and getting little samples of each one.
How would one run this though? Most of the domains seem fairly low level so I feel like past level 6 or so dark lords would become a cake walk.
I also don’t want my game to feel like “dark lord assassination simulator” but I thought the only way to escape a domain was to defeat the dark lord.

The logo's 'D' transitioned the scene back to the studio, the shot showing all the former cast members on stage – the six losers on the right, the three guests on the left, and the two hosts in the center.
"Welcome back to the Aftermath show!" Damien said happily to the audience as they gave their applause. "We're currently talking with Izzy about herself and her time on the show!" The crowd cheered.
"Now it's time for Izzy to play Truth or Hammer!" Priya announced and turned to the quirky guest. "Season two started off so well for you. Where did things go wrong?"
“I think it was when I turned down that secret alliance with Chef,” Izzy dropped, causing everyone to gasp.
Damien looked up at the hammer and saw that it didn't lower down at all. “Chef actually tried to form a secret alliance with you?”
“Uh-huh. He said he'd help me win this thing if I shared the money with him,” Izzy answered.
“Whoa,” Geoff spoke out in surprise.
“Totally did not expect that,” Eva added.
Damien then heard something in his earpiece. “Hey, I think we've got a never-before-seen clip!” he mentioned as the camera panned up to the television.
After the static played out, the footage featured Chef and Izzy standing next to a trailer on the film lot. “I'll help you man up and win this thing. We split the prize money fifty-fifty,” Chef negotiated.
Chef held out his hand for a handshake, prompting Izzy to karate kick him out of view as an intern holding a clipboard watched from the background.
“Oh, I don't think so!” Izzy declined the offer, the intern becoming scared as the clip ended.
The shot focused on the hosts shocked by what they saw. “Wow!” Priya said.
“I can't believe Chef did that!” Damien commented.
“The impact was big though!” Priya mentioned as the part of Izzy kicking Chef in the chest was zoomed in and a circle was drawn around Izzy's foot. “Check that out!”
The clip now moved in slow motion as Chef flew away while Izzy bounced away from her impact, causing the camera to focus on the scared-looking intern.
“I'd advise that intern to run away!” Damien said while the intern's head was circled on, earning laughter from the audience.
“I would never hurt that intern,” Izzy claimed, and she back flipped in order to avoid the swinging hammer. “Whoa! Nearly got me that time.” The next shot showed the same intern watching from afar dropping his clipboard and running away due to what Izzy said.
“So then what happened after?” Priya asked Izzy.
“My guess is Chef went and made a demon deal with Brick,” Izzy theorized. “Yeah, I think Chef threw the acting challenge with Justin so Brick's team won and I lost. But, hey, what do I know?”
"Apparently, a lot," Priya remarked.
"How about we hear from another viewer now?" Damien looked down at the display in front of him. "Gluepunks350 asks, "Do you think Brick will get busted?"”
“Well, I don't know about Brick, but I busted my arm once. Yeah, look, now I'm double jointed.” Izzy bent her left arm backwards. “I'm doing it! Backwards!”
Damien felt weirded out. "I think we should move on to our next guest."
"Correct," Priya nodded as the camera panned back up to the hanging television. "Trent being here is quite surprising," she said as footage began to play of Trent talking to Geoff about the latter's tooth and him talking about the sleeping arrangements. "He is a Season 1 fan favorite after all."
"I agree with that," Damien said as the footage moved on to the guitarist offering Sky his toast. "Although he did start to slip up around episode two after seeing Sky and Chase become friends," he continued over Sky picking Chase for her team and Trent looking shocked.
"Not wanting to lose his girlfriend and the game, Trent tried depending on luck, and when that didn't work, he opted to throw the challenges in order to let Sky win thanks to Justin's advice on making her happy," Priya said over Trent attempting to put nine flags on his team's sandcastle, and then purposely tripping over a stick and being talked to by Justin.
“Luckily, Sky was not blind to Trent's subtle attempts to lose deliberately,” Damien spoke as the footage showed Sky getting annoyed over Trent's compliments and him throwing the rope to the ground and then the two of them talking to each other after bathing in a barrel, “and after a much needed talk, the two were able to resolve their problems.”
"Despite all this, Justin was able to gather enough votes to target Trent, and in the end, Trent's time on the show was over!" Priya finished, the clips of Justin talking to the girls about Trent's actions and the guitarist walking into the limo being played.
"Our next guest took down a serial killer and once got poisoned by a blowfish,” Damien recapped. “Please welcome Trent!"
The Aftermath theme played and applause issued from the audience as Trent walked onstage with a smile and his guitar in hand.
“We're live on the TDA Aftermath with Trent, everyone!” Priya announced while Trent waved for the camera and sat down next to Izzy.
“So what happened, Trent?” Damien got the interview started.
“At the start of the season, things were going great until Sky and I were split on different teams,” Trent delved in. “Then she and Chase started hanging out.”
“Jealousy can be quite common,” Topher muttered.
“True,” Sam agreed.
“Then the competition set in,” Trent resumed.
“We know there's something else,” Damien reminded.
“You mean, how stressful things got?” Trent answered.
“Yeah, and no. It mostly applies to you,” Priya stated. “Be careful how you answer this, because a humongous hammer can come down and knock you out of that couch!”
The musician was intrigued by this news before continuing. “Uh, I guess somewhere I decided Sky was more important than the money,” Trent said, and the hammer not coming down proved his honesty.
“I'm surprised you're being really cool with losing out on a million dollars,” Priya said.
“It's Trent. What else did you expect?” Damien told his girlfriend.
“I guess I just lost my game,” Trent sighed. “Really let my team down. Sorry, Grips,” he apologized to the camera, making the audience aww.
“I have to ask you about the number nine thing. Check it out,” Damien pointed up at the television, which was in static before fading to the clips.
“That's right. Nine turrets, nine doors,” Trent instructed as Brick and Jasmine poured more sand.
“Remember, nine of everything!” Trent added in, much to his teammates’ bother.
Sky's attention was caught by the number of sticks he carried. "Not to interrupt," she started to say, "but you're carrying nine sticks."
The focus was now back on Trent. “Dudes, there's a lot more to my number than it being luck!” he protested.
“You did depend on it for challenges because you wanted to win,” Gwen brought up.
“The number nine thing has nothing to do with Sky or the competition,” Trent debunked. “I had this toy train my granddad gave me as a kid. Right before he died. One of the wheels fell off, so there were only nine. I was devastated. So my mom told me nine was now my lucky number.”
After Trent finished his story, the camera showed shots of the hosts, the other guests, and the Peanut Gallery all reacting with sadness.
“Have you ever told Sky about this?” Katie asked.
“She is still your girlfriend,” Sadie pointed out.
“I haven't had time to, but I'll make good on my word,” Trent promised, and the audience applauded for him.
“We've got a lot of emails here,” Priya checked the display. “Snowgirl writes, "Trent, what kind of girl are you not into?"”
“Simple. They'd either have to be stalkers or the kind of girls that'd do anything to humiliate people for no reason,” Trent claimed.
"How about we check in on our web cams?" Damien suggested, leaning over to check the display in front of him. "We've got Ginger from Sudbury," he said before the camera pulled out enough to show the monitor, which flashed from static to a feed of a geeky young white girl with large glasses and her red hair in pigtails. "Hey Ginger!" Damien greeted as the young girl waved.
"Trent, I'd love it if you went psycho crazy over me!" the girl squealed.
“Side note, you've been getting a lot of admirers ever since you got eliminated,” Damien told Trent.
"Uh, yeah," Trent said uneasily.
"Thanks, Ginger," Priya said as Ginger waved once more and her feed cut to static. "We also have Steve," she looked at her display, "the...Yeti? From Vancouver!"
The static on the monitor cut away to show none other than Sasquatchanakwa, or at least something that looked very much like it. "Uh, how's it going?" Priya asked awkwardly.
"Chris McLean," the yeti began to say in a deep and growling voice before it faded into something much more familiar, "is the best host ever! How'd you get your own show?" He leaned towards the camera angrily, his long white teeth bared. "You stink!"
"Yo Chris," Chef's voice said from the yeti's end. "If I wanted to take a hot tub by myself, I-" The yeti smiled sheepishly. "Oh! You on the webcam?"
"Chris?" the two hosts asked in bewilderment as the audience roared in laughter.
Chef then got next to Chris. “Don't believe a word Izzy says,” he advised. “Girl's crazy.”
Priya and Damien looked at each other before the former spoke. "Now it's time for a segment that we like to call, 'That's Gonna Leave a Mark!'"
The crowd cheered as a short introduction was played with clips of various contestants getting hurt throughout the seasons scrolling across a sunburst pattern in a manner similar to part of the Gilded Chris ceremony introduction, albeit with a different theme tune.
Damien sighed happily as the shot cut back to him and Priya. "I do not miss getting humiliated."
"Here's what all of you didn't get to see on the show!" Priya looked back up as the television descended, and cut to the first in a series of clips set to a campy tune comprised primarily of a tuba, drums, and whistling.
The first clip showed Justin and Izzy walking backstage in their costumes during the acting challenge. Just then, a headlight fell and clubbed Justin on the head. "Looks like it's lights out for Justin," Damien said as the crowd laughed and a circle was drawn around the impact.
A bout of static heralded the second clip, in which Eva and Geoff were running through the beach set during the monster movie challenge. "This is a good one," Priya said as the monster stomped across the screen and left Eva and Geoff shaped holes on the ground, earning more laughter.
The third clip focused on Millie patting the sand castle for support until something bit her. She pulled her hand out and saw a crab pinched to her finger. "Ooh!" the hosts winced as a circle was drawn around the crab.
Next was a shot of Anne Maria twirling her lasso around. She threw it forward, but it got wrapped around her legs and pulled her down. "I don't even know what to draw for this," Priya laughed.
The next clip began to play. It consisted of nothing more than Mama Alien Chef walking forward with determination only to slip and fall on a pile of his own slime, his gun flying off-screen before a few shots rained back down on the fallen cook.
"Now that's gonna leave a mark," Damien said as Chef was circled and the scene cut back to the set. "With what's been happening," he said after a bit more laughing, "I am so glad I'm not competing."
“Do you guys think I could sing a song?” Trent asked Damien and Priya and held his guitar. “It's something I wrote after I left the show.”
“I'm not going to stop you,” Priya shrugged.
Trent strummed a beat to start his song, and the Peanut Gallery, Damien, Priya, Izzy, Geoff, and Eva listened attentively.
“We'll be separated for a couple of days,
And I know inside our heads our love stays.
I know I'll be okay, but I also know I'll be in a bad mood…
If I didn't show how much I love you…
And you love me too.”
When the song ended, the audience applauded and cheered heavily for Trent. “Sky, I want you to know that I'll be watching and rooting for you here,” he gave a shout out to his girlfriend, earning an 'Aww' from the audience.
"Now that is true love if I do say so myself," Priya gushed heavily with her arm on Damien's shoulder.
"Don't forget that ours is just as strong, if not more," Damien teased before he leaned in and kissed Priya, the audience oohing as the beginnings of a familiar tune began to play in the background.
“Could we get that hammer out here?” Izzy asked playfully and spoke to the camera. “I guess that's a wrap. Priya and Damien will see you next time!”
"You've got that right," Damien said as the kiss was broken and the Aftermath theme began to play.
"We've got a huge season coming up!" Priya added.
"And we'll be joining you again for another Aftermath!" Damien continued.
"Don't forget to follow Chris next time," Priya said with a smile, "for the next dramatically thrilling episode of Total! Drama! Action!" The audience cheered wildly, and another quick jingle played as the scene cut to the show's title card, the block letters gleaming one last time before fading to black.
(Roll the Credits)
(Bonus Clip)
The scene showed Izzy and Trent inside of the green room. Trent was in the middle of playing on his guitar and Izzy was helping herself to more food.
“So I gotta ask,” Trent said suddenly. “How come you didn't mind being called by your real name instead of “E-Scope”?”
Izzy stopped stuffing herself with crackers as soon as the question was asked. “Say what?”
“I'm talking about how the whole time you were competing, you'd act bratty because you weren't called by the name you wanted to be referred to as,” Trent pointed out.
“Well, I was repeatedly told that it was getting old and grating,” Izzy explained. “That kinda bummed me out cause I just wanted everyone to find it funny.”
“And they didn't,” Trent responded. “No offense.”
“None taken,” Izzy shrugged. “I'm not going to change my personality entirely, but the alter-egos should be taken down a notch. So about those secret admirers...”
“I don't even want to delve into those when I already have a loving girlfriend thank you very much,” Trent finished their conversation.
“Right,” Izzy nodded and returned back to her binge eating.
Eva - 14th
Geoff - 14th
Izzy - 12th
Trent - 11th
Killer Grips: Anne Maria, Brick, Jasmine, Justin, Millie
Screaming Gaffers: Chase, MK, Ripper, Scott, Sky

There are several dramatic stories surrounding my wedding, but this one for sure takes the cake. I’m happily married for 7 years now, but every now and again I still get caught up in the mystery of WTF happened. Maybe ya’ll can give me some insight or perspective. This is going to be a long one, so buckle up)
So let me set the scene.
I had a childhood best friend, we’ll call her Lina, with whom we met when we were around 11 years old. We became friends at school and our families became friends as well, like we’d all go on trips, holidays and vacations and that sort of things. Unfortunately due to our parent's jobs we had to travel quite a bit, so after 3 years our families moved our separate ways, but we kept in contact. We wrote real paper letters to each other. And when internet became a thing we kept in touch on a regular basis. Later in life we found ourselves living in the same city so we reconnected. We’re both kind of introverted, but we met to hang out, and regularly talked online. I considered her my best friend, so when I got engaged I asked her to be my maid of honor.
Now, I’m not from US, in my part of the world it’s a really casual thing, basically she just had to accompany me on the wedding day, helping out during the photoshoot and carrying a bride’s SOS kit and that’s pretty much it. I didn’t require help with any planning or stuff like that, never meant for her to run any errands. I had a light steampunk theme to my wedding so she had to dress up and maybe buy her own dress or accessories to fit the theme, but they weren’t like a strict required list. The wedding was small - the reception was just 25 people on a boat restaurant. She agreed and seemed genuinely happy for me, she was there throughout my budding relationship and romance with my now husband and knew how important this whole thing was to me, especially when I have quite a rocky relationship with my side of the family, but that’s a whole other wedding drama.)
So I started planning. She wasn’t mostly involved although I bounced some ideas, shared photos of the prep. I think I asked her to help once, I had a big fight with my parents and needed someone to help me pick up my dress from the shop after alterations, she agreed but then something fell though and I had to do it myself, but that was a small hiccup I paid no mind. As the wedding day grew closer, she sent me pictures of different looks she picked out for the wedding, she was definitely getting ready to attend.
By our wedding schedule, the night before, she and I were supposed to move into my wedding hotel of choice (a historical castle venue), I didn’t have a bachelorette party so I thought we’d have like a slumber party with my friend, then on the day of my fiancee will arrive with the best man for a getting ready shoot and the wedding shoot, then we’d all go to the ceremony and finally to reception.
Then it gets weird. 2 days before the wedding, she texts me asking if my stylist would have time to do her hair. I checked with her and said yes, of course, I gave her my stylist’s contacts so they could sort the specifics out. 1 day before the wedding my stylist texts me that Lina hasn’t contacted her at all and she needed to know the specifics and stuff. I was fairly busy and I gave Lina’s contact to the stylist. After a while she lets me know that no one answers. I start to get worried as we’re supposed to check into the hotel this evening. I start calling and messaging Lina - she doesn’t answer. I start to panic. Eventually, literally hours before I have to leave for the hotel, my mother contacts Lina’s mother and finds out that she’s down with like a stomach flu or something (mind you, there is still literally no word from Lina at this point). After a while, I get a short text from her that she can’t make it. As if the wedding wasn’t stressful enough, I make last minute adjustments to our schedule and instead of a slumber party with my friend we just checked in with my fiancee the evening before and his best man arrived the next day to help us out through the day (seriously, gals, if you don’t have a gay best man in your party - get one!). I texted Lina in hopes that maybe she’d at least be able to make it for the official part, because I really wanted my best friend to be there on my special day, but she went radiosilent. On the wedding day she sent me a text with her best regards, didn’t call the day after or anything, just went radio silent.
The wedding was a blast, we had a lot of fun, and a lot of great photos, themed weddings in my country are not a widespread thing, we were on a lot of vendors’ portfolios for months, and our relatives still remember this day very fondly. I was caught up in all of it, not really having the time to process what happened with Lina, at that time I genuinely thought she was sick and felt bad for her missing out on everything. Almost immediately after the wedding, we went on our honeymoon to Italy, I didn’t get any word from her and started to think something was up, but still thought this was an unfortunate accident, I even bought her souvenirs…
When I returned from my honeymoon, she’s still radiosilent, this was already three weeks after the wedding. At this point I felt resentful, because the whole thing felt off. I called her, she didn’t pick up. I texted her asking if she was going to hide forever or what. She texted me something in the lines of - I’m busy now, I’ll contact you when I can, sure let’s meet.
Well, it’s been 7 years since then. She never called or texted back. The only message I ever got from her after that was a text on Forgiveness Sunday somewhere along the lines “Forgive me if I ever wronged you”. That was when I snapped and unfriended her on all my social media and blocked her everywhere. I didn’t block her number though in hopes that maybe one day she’d call and tell me what the hell happened. Looking back at this whole thing I really doubt she got sick, she just randomly decided she won’t show up the day before the wedding for whatever reason and then ghosted me. No explanation, no apology, no nothing. I don’t get it. We never had a fight, we were always on good terms. Thinking back, if the things were the other way around and for instance, I got sick the day before my friend’s wedding, I wouldn’t miss it for the world, I’d chug all the medicine out there and at least scramble myself to the ceremony.
Ok, even if you got sick so bad you couldn’t attend (and that happens, I get it) don’t you want to call your friend after, or find out how it went? Ask how the honeymoon went and stuff? Some people told me, like maybe she did’t want to be the maid of honor and couldn’t tell me, because she didn’t want to hurt my feelings, yeah, but like, disappearing on my wedding day wouldn’t? Weddings are not for everyone, that’s for sure, but why wait til literally the last minute to say you’re out? If she didn’t want to attend, why was she dress shopping and asking for my stylist to do her hair and then disappearing? This all puzzles me.
Since I unfollowed her, I don’t know much what’s going on in her life now. Her mom casually texts with my mom which sometimes also gets weird. Like recently she casually dropped something about Lina’s husband and my mom said something like, ‘Oh, I didn’t know Lina got married, you never told us, congrats!’ and Lina’s mom snapped and texted stuff like “Oh, and why should I’ve told you? You sound like you’re resentful, get a life”. I saw those texts and it’s bizarre. This kind of reaction makes the whole story even more sus. Eventually, I think, that maybe Lina was jealous that I was the first to get married or something, and at the same time I don’t think this was some kind of elaborate plot. People theorized over the years various things from “she wasn’t really your friend” to “what if she had a crush on you and didn’t want to watch you get married”. Honestly, I have no idea what to think. And I’m sad our relationship ended that way.

Round 1, Pick 10 - J.J. McCarthy, QB, Michigan:
NFL: The Vikings move up one spot to find their future at the quarterback position. McCarthy is a winner (SEE: 27-1 record as a starter at Michigan) and big-time playmaker with arm talent and athleticism. Head coach Kevin O’Connell routinely sets his quarterbacks up for success and it should be no different with McCarthy.
CBS Sports: C+. They had to fill the quarterback spot, so it makes sense to take McCarthy. I don’t love him as much as others do, but it will be interesting to see how Kevin O’Connell and gang will make it work.
ESPN: The Vikings had no Plan B in the first round. They knew they had to come away with a quarterback after letting Kirk Cousins depart via free agency. They set their initial sites on North Carolina's Drake Maye, who went to the Patriots at No. 3, before moving up one spot to No. 10 to make McCarthy the fifth quarterback taken in the draft. While McCarthy was not their first choice to succeed Cousins, the Vikings will put him into the best environment for success among any of the 2024 first-round quarterback class. He'll sit behind Sam Darnold, at least initially, while coach Kevin O'Connell applies his considerable quarterback development skills. McCarthy will also be in good hands with new quarterbacks coach Josh McCown. And when he does get on the field, McCarthy will have a terrific array of skill players around him, from wide receivers Justin Jefferson and Jordan Addison to running back Aaron Jones and tight end T.J. Hockenson.
NFL Absolutely Not Fake News: Knows the lyrics to the MAS*H theme song.
Round 1, Pick 17 - Dallas Turner, DE, Alabama:
NFL: Turner played in a high-leverage scheme under Nick Saban, so he should fit well into Brian Flores’ unit in Minnesota. Adding an athletic freak like Turner with great first-step quickness, bend and burst is huge for a defense that’s always challenging the IQ of opposing QBs.
CBS Sports: A. Love this move to go get Turner. He will be the best edge player in this class. The Vikings have had a lot of success with edge players and he fits with what Brian Flores wants to do.
ESPN: The Vikings benefitted from the early run on quarterbacks, and the record number of 23 offensive players taken in the first round, to get one of the best defensive players in this draft. Turner will further revamp a Vikings defense that bid farewell to four starters during the spring and signed three others. While versatility is important in defensive coordinator Brian Flores' scheme, Turner said that the team's initial ask of him will be simple: "Start rushing the passer as soon as I get off the plane."
NFL Absolutely Not Fake News: His browser homepage is the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics.
Round 4, Pick 108 - Khyree Jackson, CB, Oregon:
NFL: Jackson is a later bloomer, having bounced around to several schools, and he'll turn 25 in training camp. But he has unusual length for a DB, at nearly 6-foot-4, and can be tried as a matchup piece for Brian Flores' defense.
CBS Sports: A. Alabama turned Oregon star. Reminds me of Xavien Howard as a prospect in that he’s a towering, physical CB with high highs and low lows. Tries to suffocate WRs at the line and reasonably effective doing so. Tackling is good. Quicker separators can get the best of fine. Precisely a Brian Flores type.
ESPN: The Vikings addressed the cornerback position after focusing on their front-seven during free agency. Jackson will be 25 when the season begins, but the team loved his height (nearly 6-foot-4), length (32 3/4 arm length) and instincts. The temptation is to consider him a multi-positional hybrid player at that size, but senior vice president of player personnel Ryan Grigson said: "We think he can be a hell of an outside corner." Jackson joins veteran Shaquill Griffin as the top two newcomers at the position.
NFL Absolutely Not Fake News: Slept in a blanket fort throughout most of college.
Round 6, Pick 177 - Walter Rouse, OT, Oklahoma:
NFL: Rouse's run blocking is ahead of his pass protection, but the Sooners trusted him at left tackle more than former five-star recruit Cayden Green last year. Rouse has good experience at that spot and boasts ideal length, but he really hasn't played anywhere but left tackle and is a bit clunky in space.
CBS Sports: B. Classic Sooners blocker. Huge, clunky feet with plenty of power. Will torque defenders out of running lanes. Plays with strong grip strength. Not a tortoise getting out into space just won’t be a speciality in the NFL. Further ahead in pass protection but can be stretched beyond athletic limit by outside rushers.
ESPN: Rouse has extensive experience at left tackle, having started 52 games there during his college career at both Oklahoma and Stanford. He also showcased versatility at right tackle in the East-West Shrine Bowl, and that makes him a potentially valuable swing backup considering left tackle Christian Darrisaw has missed games for injuries in each of his three NFL seasons. Veteran David Quessenberry also re-signed after a year as the team's swing tackle.
NFL Absolutely Not Fake News: With the 1st pick of the 6th round, [team name] selects [positiion] [name].
Round 6, Pick 203 - Will Reichard, K, Alabama:
NFL: Our second specialist. Reichard is extremely accurate from 50 yards in, and he delivered a clutch 52-yarder in the Rose Bowl. With the new kickoff rules, Reichard's lack of booming leg strength might not be a problem, and playing more than half his games indoors also helps.
CBS Sports: C+. Multiple years of high-level accuracy, and his make percentage actually increased in each of three years. Big, not enormous leg. This is a need.
ESPN: Reichard has the inside track on replacing incumbent kicker Greg Joseph, who signed with the Packers as a free agent. O'Connell has said there will be a competition during training camp, and former XFL kicker John Parker Romo is already on the roster. But the Vikings were enamored with Reichard's field goal accuracy (6-for-7) in the pressure situations he faced in Alabama's playoff runs and believe he improved his kickoffs between 2022 and 2023 as well.
NFL Absolutely Not Fake News: Played 2 seasons in Miami before realizing he was in Ohio.
Round 7, Pick 230 - Michael Jurgens, C, Wake Forest:
NFL: Jurgens probably has to make it as a center, lacking ideal power or movement skill. He's a bump-and-steer center who wins as much with his mind as with his physical gifts.
CBS Sports: B. Experienced center with reasonable burst off the line but no ability to sustain speed throughout the play. Power is there but can get overzealous and lunge, which hurts his balance and recovery ability. NFL-caliber size and length for the center spot.
ESPN: Jurgens was not invited to the combine or any all-star games, but senior vice president of personnel Ryan Grigson said the Vikings have been tracking him for several seasons. He was primarily a center but moved to guard during his final season at Wake Forest, proving to be "very productive," Grigson said. Proving that positional flexibility will be key for making the roster. The Vikings appear to be headed for a transition at left guard, where Blake Brandel -- a backup over the past few seasons -- is the favorite to start.
NFL Absolutely Not Fake News: Dumped a garbage can of marbles down the stairs at school.
Round 7, Pick 232 - Levi Drake Rodriguez, DT, Texas A&M-Commerce:
NFL: He was playing at Southwestern Assemblies of God two years ago, so the leap in competition he'll face in the NFL will be significant. But his feisty, violent play style makes him intriguing.
CBS Sports: C+. Upfield rusher at defensive tackle who tends to make himself an easy target for interior blockers because of his high pad level and not always active hands. Showed some initial pass-rush plans but not a big counter type. Motor hums every play.
ESPN: Drake-Rodriguez came a long way to get drafted, something the Vikings considered heavily in their evaluation. He began his career playing football and baseball at Southwest Assemblies of God University, an NAIA school, and worked his way up. The Vikings loved his attitude during a visit and know "he doesn't take anything for granted" and "plays like a crazy man," according to senior vice president of personnel Ryan Grigson.
NFL Absolutely Not Fake News: Has additional 8mm film from Dallas, not the Kennedy thing just birds.

Goodreads
This is probably going to be in the top 5 best books I read in 2024. I read this as a library book, but I intend to buy the hardback next time I visit a store.
I have the feeling my enjoyment won't be a very common opinion. This book has layers. And to be honest, I don't fully understand this book. I don't know about castes, as an example, so some of this book went over my head.
Before we begin, do you have a book which needs editing? Do you want to read more reviews? Here is a link: The Rest of My In Depth Reviews
WHAT IS THE TARGET AUDIENCE? WHAT GENRES? WHAT MAJOR TROPES?

• Magical Realism
• South Asian
• Buddhism
• 15+ years old
• A wee bit horny at moments
• LGBT

MY EMOTIONAL RESPONSE/ FUN FACTOR
This book is steeped in Southern Asian culture, a culture I'm not a part of. I'm writing this review in good faith, but I'm well aware I'm approaching this from a place of ignorance. So as you read this, please give me the benefit of the doubt if I make any mistakes.
This novel is a cultural critique of how a Buddhist society can use Buddhism as a cudgel to legitimize control and oppress minorities.
At the same time this book has a surreal bent. The main antagonist, 'The Perfect and Kind,' has reality warping power. Here's a spoiler: at one point, the protagonist is about to assassinate 'The Perfect and Kind.' To survive the assassination attempt, 'The Perfect and Kind' rewrites the events of the prior three days to prevent the assassination from ever happening. This is just the tip of the spear in terms of how weird this book is.
I really enjoyed this book, and was never bored. Now that said, the book only kicks into high-gear about halfway through. Before the halfway point, it is a traditional rebellion against authority story; after the halfway point, it becomes a surreal rebellion.
If you like traditional Western fight-scene focused fantasy novels, this book will not provide that. This book is more focused on how governments use violence against their people; violence is the tool of the enemy in this book, not the heroes.
BIASES STATED
To put this review/study in proper context, you must know my starting point.
Just being honest with ya'll, when I heard this was nominated for a Hugo I assumed it would be a bad book; I read last year's Hugo slate and they left me underwhelmed. (Yeah, I know how shallow that sounds. But I bounced off HARD from last year's slate and especially last year's drama.)
I was pleasantly surprised upon reading 'The Saint of Bright Doors.' It's actually good!
SIMILAR BOOKS/OTHER BOOKS IN THE SERIES

• 'The City and the City' by China Mieville
• 'Ombria in Shadow' by Patricia McKillip
• 'Senlin Ascends' by Josiah Bancrof
• Amber by Zelazny
• 'The Lathe of Heaven' by Ursula K. LeGuin

CONCEPT AND EXECUTION
In the Buddhist tradition, when the Buddha began his spiritual journey he abandoned his wife and child. For the Buddha to find personal enlightenment, he had to renounce all worldly attachments, including family. His son was such a fetter.
'The Saint of Bright Doors' is about a man named Fetter, the abandoned son of a living god called 'The Perfect and Kind.' Fetter now wants to kill his father 'The Perfect and Kind' in revenge for being abandoned as a child.
This book is about the complicated relationship people can have with Buddhism. In the West, we like to think of Buddhism as a nonviolent religion; in truth, Buddhists are as capable of violence as anyone else. This book features castes, needlessly bureaucratic government, religious abuse, and a police state... with 'The Perfect and Kind' (aka the Buddha) being able to meddle with and control all of it. The author is from Sri Lanka, where Buddhist monks play an active role in politics; I'm just guessing that in some way frustration with the status quo in Sri Lanka informed the writing of this novel.
On top of it all is a heaping-helping of magical realism.
At one point, the protagonist is imprisoned for a crime, and he's sent to a prison which (I think) is loosely based on a bureaucratic vision of a Buddhist hellish afterlife. What follows is a surreal, Kafka-esque sequence of bureaucratic madness. The protagonist doesn't even know why he's imprisoned... indeed, no one imprisoned knows why they're in Hell/prison. It's never explained why Fetter was sent to Hell, and that's the point. In Buddhism, everything is empty of meaning, even death; spiritually, this imprisonment is pointless. It also represents a government system run amok, repressing people merely to save face without making anyone actually safer.
The sequence in hell/prison reminded me of Josiah Bancrof's 'Books of Babel,' where characters enter the tower of Babel on vacation, and in order to climb the tower you have to join the culture of the locals in the tower and act as the locals act to progress. No one in the tower of Babel understands how or why the tower exists, just as no one in this book understands why the hell/prison in 'The Saint of Bright Doors' is as baffling in the way it is.
Even after Fetter escapes prison, he's not truly escaped; the vicissitudes of samsara follows him back to Luriat, for Luriat's police state is just another layer of imprisonment. He realizes that even though he escaped the physical prison, he'll never escape the spiritual prison, for the entire world is a prison. Fetter tries to escape suffering by escaping prison, and it doesn't work. Suffering follows him out.
It was with this realization that this book came into it's own. When he realized he'd always be entrapped in a prison of his father's creation, it became more necessary than ever to fight and rebel against his father.
Some of the reviews I read for this book claim that this book is listless, where Fetter goes from one random adventure to another without a solid link between them. This time in prison is one such 'listless' adventure. I think they're wrong about it being 'listless.'

• The 'listless' adventures which annoyed those reviewers are spiritual echoes of his father's evil. Many of the devils in the world are a direct result of his father manipulating reality; likewise, the government is controlled by his father. Ergo, all the minor adventures caused by devils and Bright Doors and the bureaucratic government are his father's fault.
• Fetter spends the first half of the book running away from his destiny of killing his father, only to have many small problems come his way. And yet Fetter never puts 2+2 together and realizes that the minor problems he faces are due to his father. Running away is just making his problems worse.
• I think the 'listlessness' is a deliberate character choice by the author, demonstrating Fetter's willingness to tolerate the intolerable status quo because he is so intent on not fulfilling his destiny.
• This is good characterization and good subtext by the author. I appreciate that the author did not hold the hand of the reader and spell it out, and instead trusted the reader to figure it out on their own.

CHARACTERS, CHARACTERIZATION AND DIALOG
'The Perfect and Kind' is this book's antagonist, but I wouldn't call him evil. The author is very careful to point out that 'The Perfect and Kind' rejects all forms of duality; thus, evil simply doesn't apply to him because 'good and evil' are a duality. If we reject duality, we must simply assume his actions are performed because of simple human ambition.
'The Perfect and Kind' becomes the antagonist because the government of the city use his religion as a rallying cry to justify pogroms, mass-imprisonment, and censoring dissent. Even the clergy of 'The Perfect and Kind' religion take part in the chaos.
Fetter's Mother is a secondary antagonist. The Mother-of-Glory is the jilted lover left behind by 'The Perfect and Kind' when he became a renunciate monk; she swore revenge and raised Fetter from a young age to be an assassin and kill his father. She is justified in her rage: 'The Perfect and Kind' learned her culture's traditional magics, and learned them better than anyone who had come before. He used those magics to become a god, dumped her, and then rewrote reality so no one would ever know that's how he ascended.
Fetter himself is emotionally repressed. After escaping his mother's death cult, he's joined a support group for Almost-Chosen Ones, trying to gain his own agency away from his towering destiny. He and his friends lead a rebellion against the status quo, trying to topple the oppressive government.
I liked how Fetter felt a pull towards both parents: I don't know if the author intended to write a Daoist character, but I saw his parents as opposite poles. His mother is very Yang: she's frequently quoted as saying 'change only comes through directed violence.' His father is very Yin: 'The Perfect and Kind' prefers to solve problems by indirect means, such as discussion or manipulation. (My goodness, their marriage must have been a mess.)
Fetter defeats BOTH parents after he learned BOTH of their strengths: he used his mother's rage to lead the revolt, while he used his father's emotional stability to not be washed away in the madness of the cycles of violence which eternally rip Luriat apart. That is a solid character arc.
And yet, the story seems to hold Fetter at an emotional arm's length. I personally feel like the story did a decent job of exploring Fetter's emotionality, but I wanted the book to explore his emotions a bit more. His love story in particular felt underdeveloped.
PLOT, STAKES AND TENSION
The first half of the book was devoted to a growing rebellion against the repressive government of Luriat, while Fetter is desperately rejecting his destiny of killing his father. In the second half, 'The Perfect and Kind' moves to Luriat and takes over it's repressive government. Now Fetter must kill his father to save Luriat and fulfill his destiny, whether he likes it or not.
The first half of the book feels 'normal' (aka, not slipstream), while the addition of 'The Perfect and Kind' in the second half of the book makes the book feel 'weird,' as the very fabric of narrative reality begins to break down. This 'weirdness' gives the book an uneven texture while reading. This uneven texture isn't necessarily a bad thing! Indeed, I wish the author leaned it the uneven texture more. More on this later, when I discuss setting.
The book had minimal tension. At one point important named characters begin to die, and I was left unmoved. I think the author wanted to evoke sadness in the reader when important named characters began to die, but I was so emotionally detached from the characters in this book that I didn't feel sadness.
(You know how I said 'I wanted the book to explore his emotions a bit more' above? The book didn't do enough to sell me on those emotions, and the tension suffered because of it. At least for me.)
Additionally, the whole slipstream-y-ness of this book added a further layer of detachment to the book. This book was so 'anything goes' when it comes to 'cause and effect' that I was left questioning whether or not dead characters were actually dead, or if they would come back. This narrative played by it's own rules, for both good and ill.
And it's fine if this book doesn't have cutthroat tension. Not all books have to have world-ending stakes.
One thing I liked was how the death of 'The Perfect and Kind' does NOT solve the city's problems. Yes, 'The Perfect and Kind' was meddling with events in an effort to consolidate his power, however human nature was always the problem. Luriat had problems before he arrived, and will still have problems after his death, because suffering is the default state of the universe.
The author successfully used foreshadowing to set up and pay off several prophesies. I like pointing out when an author successfully uses foreshadowing, because so many don't.
AUTHORIAL VOICE (TONE, PROSE AND THEME)
I liked the authorial voice of this book. It is very pretty. Here's a link to the goodreads quotation page for a taste of some of it.
As for theme, this book exists in a Buddhist context, but strikes me as being counter-cultural to the Buddhist message. I dunno, I'm Western so I don't feel expert enough to speak as an authority on how this book should be interpreted. But the Buddha is the bad guy in this.
If I'm reading this book right, I think this book re-enacts the life of the Shakyamuni Buddha, but told from his son's perspective. But it also adds a queer lens: not only is Fetter gay, but 'The Perfect and Kind' and the Mother-of-Glory both have same sex lovers. It also adds a modern lens, with computers and bureaucratic governments and social media. It also adds a decolonialist lens; 'The Perfect and Kind' conquered Luriat and the hinterlands. This conquest upset the local Mother, whose entire culture was subsumed and forgotten.
If I'm reading this book right, this book engages with Buddhism as a historical entity and local custom, as opposed to it's theology. It doesn't engage with the Eightfold Path or the Four Noble Truths, but instead looks at how the clerics and monks of the religion can lead pogroms and persecutions. The book isn't wrong to be so jaded; right now Sri Lanka is going through some stuff, and Buddhist monks are playing a political role on both sides. It must be disheartening to see your religion tearing itself apart like that.
This books is a very interstitial. Fetter is the biracial child in a city where you get categorized according to race. He's stuck in-between loyalty to his warring parents and their warring philosophical worldviews. Queerness is innately interstitial. And the theme of doors opening to nowhere is innately interstitial.
SETTING, WORLDBUILDING AND ORIGINALITY
The city of Luriat is a character in and of itself. It is located on a magical confluence, where reality never seems to quite stay pinned down. There exist Bright Doors in Luriat; doors which open into almost-was worlds which once existed but are now forgotten. A harsh and nonsensical bureaucracy has taken control of the city of Luriat, to clamp-down on the wild magics and diseases which wash through the place regularly... though in actual practice, the bureaucracy is used by factions to punish their enemies without cause. I'd compare it to 'The City and the City' by China Mieville.
The culture of people in Luriat changes on a whim, and the protagonist can never be quite certain it changed because of the constant reality warping or because he simply missed out on the newest social media wave.

• You know the feeling of logging onto twitter for the first time in a month, and finding references to a weird Highly Online Drama you have no context of?
• Luriat is like that. Because so much reality-altering magic is flying around, Fetter can't be sure the oddness of the city is because of the magic, or because of some cultural shift which Fetter missed because he's been busy doing other things.

I liked how the author used the surreal, dreamlike feel of Luriat as a metaphor to discuss the rapid-fire nature of cultural developments on places like Twitter, though I don't know if that was deliberate by the author or if I'm just reading into things. The setting is intentionally confusing, and it's wonderful. Luriat is a vibrant megalopolis, which refuses to be pinned down.
NOW THAT SAID, it could have been better. This book constantly cites castes and races are at the heart of the various conflicts in the story: what races were these, what castes are these? How do they relate to one another? The book points out multiple factions of Kings and Queens. Who are they? Gimme answers.
Now imagine if the narrative described these castes and factions in the first half of the novel. When reality starts changing, the reader would feel those changes all the more intensely. What if caste A represses caste B in the first timeline, only for caste B to repress caste A in the second timeline? Because the book never explored the details of the conflicts in question, when they changed it wasn't impactful.
If you've played Bioshock Infinite, there is a sequence when timelines begin to merge, when a Theocratic Conservative government loses power to a Worker's Rebellion a la the Haitian Revolution. I wanted a dramatic moment like that to happen in 'Saint of Bright Doors,' when it seems like the whole world changes in the blink of the eye. I feel like the book could have done more with the whole retroactive reality warping thing.
And finally, I have to complement how the author used the topic of architecture to discuss Luriat's history. By discussing different construction styles, this gave Luriat a feeling of timeless depth. A lot of fantasy books I read feel a bit skin-deep, with only a little bit of history; Luriat feels like it's been around for A WHILE. I liked that.
AUDIOBOOK NOTES
I listened to the audiobook. The audiobook narrator was VERY GOOD... however, this book is confusing. I had to back up and re-listen to segments more than once to make sure I understood was was going on. I suggest you read a paper or ebook version of this book; it might help with the clarity. Also, the prose is beautiful enough that reading it with your eyes might help you savor it more.
LESSONS LEARNED
As an author, I want to improve my own writing/editing skills. To that end, I like to learn lessons from every story I read. Here's what I learned from this story:

• Play around with narrative cause-and-effect. In the West, it's common convention that the events in a book must make sense in logical order. This book was compelling in part because it was willing to detach logical cause from effect.

Here's a link to all the lessons I've previously learned.

Welcome back to the Ohio Golf Guide. See my first post here: https://www.reddit.com/OhioGolf/comments/19eq5na/ogg_ohio_golf_guide_first_postsample/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3
If you'd like to request a course for review, leave it below.
Here's my latest review:
Course/Location/Par: Chapel Hill Golf Club/Mount Vernon/72
Length/Rating/Slope: White 6034 (68.9/121) Blue 6351 (70.3/123) Black 6856 (72.9/125)
Architect: Barry Serafin
Walkability: It’s a challenging walk, but doable. The biggest issue is that holes 13-17 are across a road and you’d have a long walk to get over there. In general, I’d recommend a golf cart.
Course Layout: Hinted at in the name, the course is built upon a hilltop. The course has a great balance to its layout between hilly, open holes and flatter holes that tighten up a bit. I wouldn’t say that this course has an overarching theme, but most of the holes are interesting and nothing feels gimmicky.
Conditions: Stellar. I played it in April 2024 and the greens are always spectacular here. Fairways and rough are well manicured. The grounds crew here pays attention to detail, and it shows. The bunkers even have sand!
Amenities: The biggest drawback is that the driving range was recently removed. I believe it’s due to some sort of dispute with the church that the range was nearby. Doesn’t sound like they wanted to love thy neighbor anymore. Now there are some hitting nets setup outside the clubhouse to warm up. Speaking of the clubhouse, it is expansive and has a good food and merch selection. Also has a projector setup inside usually playing whatever sport is on TV.
Value: This is one of the best values in central OH, and maybe the state at large. Can usually be played for $40-50 and a round after 2PM can be had for around $35. They also offer unlimited golf sometimes on the weekends for a flat fee that includes food and drink. It’s unmatched value.
Pace of Play: Can be slow sometimes if it’s crowded due to the challenging nature of the course, but it’s not a huge problem in my opinion.
Difficulty: I think it’s a tougher course than the rating and slope would have you believe. There are opportunities to lose a ball everywhere, and the hilly terrain leads to some big bounces offline. It hits the sweet spot well between anger inducing difficulty and a walk in the park.
Favorite Hole (s): 14 is my favorite hole on the course by far. It’s a par 5 with a downhill blind tee shot. Hit towards the radio tower off the tee to find the fairway. From there, you’ll likely have a layup but with the right wind you can take on the green. The green is down a hill and protected by a creek in front.
Least Favorites Hole(s):
8 is probably only bad if you play it from the black tees like I did. From there, it’s a 240 yard par 3 that seemingly is always straight into the wind. I don’t get paid enough playing to need that in my life.
11 is a long par 4 with a narrow tee shot that presents woods to the left and a big hill to the right. Even with a good tee shot you’ll be left with a long iron to an elevated green that has OB deep. The elevated green is very tough to hold due to the forced long iron approach shot.
Overall Rating: Chapel hill is a fantastic public course if you find yourself out that way. Good value and conditions lead to this being a favorite on my personal rankings list. 4/5 buckeyes.

Verification and photos
Continuing to destash pens from my collection. Prices include tracked international shipping from Hong Kong (takes 1-2 weeks to deliver), for EMS/speedpost options please add 45usd. Payment with paypal G+S, please comment in the thread before PMing. Feel free to ask for more information or photos.
PRICE DROP on platinum 3776
ON HOLD Rare vintage platinum 3776, togidashi maki- e moon flower - Asking 735 usd 650 usd , or offers welcome
Photo of pen , video of pen
Condition B, very good condition for a vintage pen. Relatively rare to find on the second hand market as well. Comes with a 14K Fine nib (see writing sample video here) This older nib has some bounce when pressure is applied compared to the stiffness of the modern nib, but I don't consider it to be flex. Pencil like feedback. It's one of the older 3776 models with an ebonite feed and snap cap. Accepts cartridge but doesn't seem to accept the platinum converter. Pilot cartridge might work with these older models but I never tried it myself with ink. The pattern on the barrel is done in togidashi maki e (gold) which is smooth to the touch, with some accents of gold in the flowers. The crescent moon on the cap is done in silver hira - maki e which has oxidised over time which is why it appears a dark grey but i think it adds to the overall theme of the design. For more photos, see album linked above.
Sold Tenny Traveller Fountain Pen Rosewood, Fine Schmidt nib. Condition A1. Asking 95usd OBO More photos
Metal cap and wooden faceted (octagon) barrel in rosewood. Comes with fabric pen sleeve. Pen sleeve photo
Numbered 132/150 Muze 2020 1st anniversary pen Engrave on Cap finial
Sold Fine writing international Scepter model Limited edition. Numbered 24/100 ( number engraved on pump button ) Muze 4th anniversary pen. Medium steel nib (jowo) Condition A2. Asking 120USD OBO Scroll down to see more photos
Pen is a button/vac fill with a blind cap on the end of the barrel to access the pump filler (see photo )
ON HOLD Sailor 1911L with chinkin carved cranes and waves. Asking 395usd OBO. Link to more photos
Nib photo
Older 1911L model with old style large 14K soft-medium nib (hard to find) Condition B due to age of the pen, and some corrosion at the metal ring next to the nib, but functions normally. The S-M nib does have a nice bounce to it and I find it a joy to write with. Can provide writing sample if needed. The outside of the pen including the clip and metal trims are in excellent condition. Video of pen
Thanks for looking!

For context, I have a history of OCD, starting around 10 years old (starting off strong with the co-morbidities rate) and quiet BPD starting around age 20. (Estimation on both of those.) I grew up with parents who also had trauma and are entirely emotionally immature, causing emotional/psychological/financial abuse and emotional neglect.
My working theories are that my father possibly has ADHD and narcissistic traits, as he explains being exactly like a family member of ours who seems to exhibit ADHD traits, as a child, and therefore they family member is perfectly normal. The ADHD would explain his self-proclaimed constant energy and the pile of projects he begins and abandons. This could also be a reason feeding his episodes of spontaneous rage. (or maybe he’s ~just~ abusive.)
My mother (who had some extra spicy trauma including drug use during pregnancy from her mother) which seems to have led to learning disabilities such as dyslexia and dyscalculia. She is easily fooled, consistently does not understand/feels defensive about coming off as rude when “not trying to be” as she says, some sensory issues, and frankly some borderline tendencies to blow up and then tell you how much she loves you. (I unfortunately know these feelings all too well.) She also says that she feels she deals with hyper empathy. (Ironic, but go off sis, maybe she does.) She has a hard time with idioms when they aren’t the common everyday ones and even those she seems to ~slightly~ be off on.
My family has several autistic children on my father’s side and mother’s side. Until now, I would absolutely not had expected anyone in my family to be autistic.
Here are my traits that I find a little fishy to all co-exist.
My mother reports this about my early childhood:

• I did not like people or being around people & I hid that anxiety well. (Still do.)
• I spoke earlier than my siblings, and in general.
• I was an advanced reader, and was reading before kindergarten. (Stopped reading as much around 12 because I lost all attention span/ability to focus on it. Most an audiobook type of person now.)
• When I started school I seemed more anxious and stimming behaviors, such as leg bouncing seemed to occur.
• She reports no difficulty with transitions. (However, as an adult I feel I do need extra time to move from task to task.)
• Uncomfortable with hugging and touching other people. (Yep)
• I was “mature for my age.” “An old woman in a child’s body.” (Sigh)
• I would seem to be off in my own little world.
• I would try to control play with friends and become upset if they didn’t play how I wanted to. (I remember as a child feeling as if I was “hosting” my friend like an adult with a guest and after a few hours I felt tired of doing so.)
• I would constantly call to get picked up from the sleepover and was most comfortable being home.
• I would enjoy a friends company but after a few hours I was happy to say goodbye to my gist. I seemed relieved when they were gone.
• I was stuck to my mother’s side.
• I couldn’t really tolerate the heat or loud noises (I would/do cover my ears.)
• I was possessive of my things.
• I would cry when I was angry. (Included because she fails to remember any “meltdowns” only this and possibly shutdowns.)
• I was very clumsy.
• I couldn’t tolerate tight clothing.
• I did have an interest in running water in the bath and sinks. (I asked her this because I heard it’s a thing. lol)
• I seemed to dislike the sensation of brushing my teeth.
• I’d have my name called multiple times and would not respond.
• I would focus intensely on activities.
• I would talk non-stop or I would be very quiet.
• I would want the same baby doll from the store every single time. I had 20+ of the exact same baby doll, and for a lot of them I would give them names and write it on the back of their heads. 😭😭
• I seemed to internalize/shut down instead of externalize or throw fits.
• I generally only kept one friend at a time.
• I was very shy.
• I also stayed around adults.
• I tended to follow my sister around, (and I often do still, at all family social events, even to the bathroom.)
• My interests dominated the conversation. For me, this was the high school musical to twilight pipeline. I had everything themes twilight that I possibly could. Blankets, popcorn buckets, candy boxes (gifts from teachers who saw me as the child who was obsessed with twilight)(my classmates also saw me that way), etc and etc. I made scrapbooks and saved stickers and tattoos and even knew where they were filming the next movies. (rio.)
• I asked a lot of questions

When I did the CAST assessment with her about myself as a young child, I scored a 19 out of 31, “indicating possibly AS or related social-communication difficulties.”
My AQ score is 117.
Compensation subtotal:33 Masking subtotal:43 Assimilation subtotal:41
And my RAADS-R score is 114.
Language subtotal: 6 Social relatedness subtotal: 56 Sensory/motor subtotal: 27 Circumscribed interests subtotal: 25
I have heard that people with trauma can score as high. My CAT-Q score is
My Aspie quiz score was 133 of 200. (98% probability of being atypical/nd)
The reasons I find myself gravitating towards the possibility of autism/adhd are:

• several undiagnosed autistic presenting friends and romantic partners (that’s suspicious)
• constant movement (stim-like, but socially accepted behaviors) such as constantly moving my feet (especially when more stimulated) or swaying in place while I stand, or twirling/playing with my hair.
• a lifetime of hyper sensitivity/hyper empathy. Ex: Not being able to watch a show without mentally preparing for its contents to affect my emotions in a way that seems not to happen to NT people.
• Constantly feeling misunderstood, seeking not to offend people yet somehow always saying the wrong thing or coming off the wrong way when speaking on sensitive subjects.
  
  • I can read social cues, frankly, too well. This seems to conflict with ASD. Yet, I find myself feeling as if everyone else knows what to do and say while I don’t. I constantly ask questions to confirm what I believe is being asked of me or to confirm how a person is feeling. It’s like, I know, but I do have to double-check. I generally tend to read off someone’s vibe as not being interested in what I’m saying, but then they say they are, so I keep talking.
• Life long intensity. I may come off as too excited to be new friends with someone. Usually I end friendships prematurely by asking to trauma dump right away (because I genuinely find it interesting to talk about trauma) and even checking in throughout the conversation, yet then find that person never speaking to me again <3
  
• Special interests. I feel intensely about psychology. I could talk about mental illness for hours. Even going on this several day binge so far of Autism/ADHD/Trauma content trying to get to the bottom of it all, it’s like there’s this excited energy in my chest. Even when I’ve seemed to drive myself almost insane by the amount of information I’m taking in and the amount of time I’m spending on it, I still like doing it. Even if I start to focus on something else, my mind comes right back. I just got out of my stardew valley fixation after weeks of playing every single day all day and finishing the entire game, eating up all the lore, and getting the achievements.
  
• Monopolizing/oversharing/hyperverbal. Again, I can’t help but tell practical strangers (as long as they have a good vibe) everything about me and my trauma. My issue is that, again, I find trauma interesting. I also just… find it most natural to be an open book. When people say “it’s okay to keep your own secrets” I just… don’t… want to…? Which causes some issues I think when it comes to people liking me or not or thinking I’m weird or not. I also would prefer to never shut up. I love talking. I conceptualize my feelings better verbally, even speaking to myself when I’m super conflicted about something or I’m overwhelmed and trying to identify my feelings. I consciously have to tell myself to give my conversation partners a turn, especially when I’m feeling particularly chatty.
  
• A life long curiosity. Why? Why do people do what they do? Why do they react the ways they do? Why do they handle situations the way they do? I remember being a small child and mentioning the concept of (morbid topic for my age) and why people dealt with it the way they did. I always find myself looking for the reason why, even to questions that may not have one, I cannot accept there is no answer. (This whole post being an example.)
  
• I consistently use metaphors to describe the way I’m feeling to other people. Sometimes they don’t really get why - but it’s what feels most meaningful and accurate to me.
  
• Feeling like I’m not inherently feminine enough, which feels like it’s goes into the territory of gendeautism. I know that I do identify with being a woman, but… it’s like I’m just a blob or a I’m a ying-yang of feminine and masculine, and it upsets me that the masculine is in there because it discredits what little femininity I do feel.
  
• Decision making paralysis.
  
• Huge issues with executive dysfunction
  
• Collecting traits and sayings and ways of speaking not to be “normal” but because I just wanted that trait to use for myself. Like, I’m a collection of little things I see other people do that I like or think are interesting.
  
• The feeling of masking. Always feeling like I’m pretending to be normal. Having the running inner monologue of “I’m just like you, I swear! I also know how to live a human, productive and healthy life!” (Now picture me rocking back and forth in a corner)
  
• Having a job means not having a life. I cannot both have a job and do household chores and take care of myself. I cannot fully explain this, but it’s like every bit of my energy is sucked into having a job and ~being a person who has a job.~ By the time I’m home or I have a day off, I have absolutely no physical energy to spare and barely any mental energy.
  
• I take almost any take on anything at face value. If you seem sure, I believe you. The only things I can’t be shook on are moral values. But, every time else, while I both have this distrust and learned skepticism, my natural reaction is to fully take in the opinion as fact. While I both fear and distrust people from my experiences, I also just am naturally trusting and gullible in nature. Being gullible was a huge issue for me as a child, before I learned skepticism.
  
• A feeling of energy in my body often that I feel like I just need to quietly scream out or shake out. Like my mind is on vibrate
  
• Not having routine makes me wanna 💀 but the concept of having too much makes me feel suffocated.
  
• Perfectionism, ex: feeling like I have to do it JUST right, like cleaning fully or not at all, which leads to a lot of not at all. -when a boundary is not said in direct cut language I have a tendency to not understand where they start and end or cross them without intending to. This caused a lot of issues with my last romantic relationship. -also have a very hard time conceptualizing setting my own boundaries but that could be trauma yknow. -lifelong anxiety, intense emotions, losing everything, procrastination that’s frankly unhealthy, etc
  

I’m too tired to continue this list at the moment, but… does any of this come off as more than trauma/bpd/ocd?? Am I just… insane? Are all of these disorders combined enough to make someone feel insane? I am so very genuinely asking this because I am at my wits end and I need answers. I don’t… feel autistic that way I knew I was borderline.
I always identified autistic traits in my friends but not myself until now that I’m really searching for an answer.

For context, I have a history of OCD, starting around 10 years old (starting off strong with the co-morbidities rate) and quiet BPD starting around age 20. (Estimation on both of those.) I grew up with parents who also had trauma and are entirely emotionally immature, causing emotional/psychological/financial abuse and emotional neglect. My working theories are that my father possibly has ADHD and narcissistic traits, as he explains being exactly like a family member of ours who seems to exhibit ADHD traits, as a child, and therefore they family member is perfectly normal. The ADHD would explain his self-proclaimed constant energy and the pile of projects he begins and abandons. This could also be a reason feeding his episodes of spontaneous rage. (or maybe he’s ~just~ abusive.) My mother (who had some extra spicy trauma including drug use during pregnancy from her mother) which seems to have led to learning disabilities such as dyslexia and dyscalculia. She is easily fooled, consistently does not understand/feels defensive about coming off as rude when “not trying to be” as she says, some sensory issues, and frankly some borderline tendencies to blow up and then tell you how much she loves you. (I unfortunately know these feelings all too well.) She also says that she feels she deals with hyper empathy. (Ironic, but go off sis, maybe she does.) She has a hard time with idioms when they aren’t the common everyday ones and even those she seems to ~slightly~ be off on. My family has several autistic children on my father’s side and mother’s side. Until now, I would absolutely not had expected anyone in my family to be autistic. Here are my traits that I find a little fishy to all co-exist. My mother reports this about my early childhood: I did not like people or being around people & I hid that anxiety well. (Still do.) I spoke earlier than my siblings, and in general. I was an advanced reader, and was reading before kindergarten. (Stopped reading as much around 12 because I lost all attention span/ability to focus on it. Most an audiobook type of person now.) When I started school I seemed more anxious and stimming behaviors, such as leg bouncing seemed to occur. She reports no difficulty with transitions. (However, as an adult I feel I do need extra time to move from task to task.) Uncomfortable with hugging and touching other people. (Yep) I was “mature for my age.” “An old woman in a child’s body.” (Sigh) I would seem to be off in my own little world. I would try to control play with friends and become upset if they didn’t play how I wanted to. (I remember as a child feeling as if I was “hosting” my friend like an adult with a guest and after a few hours I felt tired of doing so.) I would constantly call to get picked up from the sleepover and was most comfortable being home. I would enjoy a friends company but after a few hours I was happy to say goodbye to my gist. I seemed relieved when they were gone. I was stuck to my mother’s side. I couldn’t really tolerate the heat or loud noises (I would/do cover my ears.) I was possessive of my things. I would cry when I was angry. (Included because she fails to remember any “meltdowns” only this and possibly shutdowns.) I was very clumsy. I couldn’t tolerate tight clothing. I did have an interest in running water in the bath and sinks. (I asked her this because I heard it’s a thing. lol) I seemed to dislike the sensation of brushing my teeth. I’d have my name called multiple times and would not respond. I would focus intensely on activities. I would talk non-stop or I would be very quiet. I would want the same baby doll from the store every single time. I had 20+ of the exact same baby doll, and for a lot of them I would give them names and write it on the back of their heads. 😭😭 I seemed to internalize/shut down instead of externalize or throw fits. I generally only kept one friend at a time. I was very shy. I also stayed around adults. I tended to follow my sister around, (and I often do still, at all family social events, even to the bathroom.) My interests dominated the conversation. For me, this was the high school musical to twilight pipeline. I had everything themes twilight that I possibly could. Blankets, popcorn buckets, candy boxes (gifts from teachers who saw me as the child who was obsessed with twilight)(my classmates also saw me that way), etc and etc. I made scrapbooks and saved stickers and tattoos and even knew where they were filming the next movies. (rio.) I asked a lot of questions When I did the CAST assessment with her about myself as a young child, I scored a 19 out of 31, “indicating possibly AS or related social-communication difficulties.” My AQ score is 117. Compensation subtotal:33 Masking subtotal:43 Assimilation subtotal:41 And my RAADS-R score is 114. Language subtotal: 6 Social relatedness subtotal: 56 Sensory/motor subtotal: 27 Circumscribed interests subtotal: 25 I have heard that people with trauma can score as high. My CAT-Q score is My Aspie quiz score was 133 of 200. (98% probability of being atypical/nd) The reasons I find myself gravitating towards the possibility of autism/adhd are: several undiagnosed autistic presenting friends and romantic partners (that’s suspicious) constant movement (stim-like, but socially accepted behaviors) such as constantly moving my feet (especially when more stimulated) or swaying in place while I stand, or twirling/playing with my hair. a lifetime of hyper sensitivity/hyper empathy. Ex: Not being able to watch a show without mentally preparing for its contents to affect my emotions in a way that seems not to happen to NT people. Constantly feeling misunderstood, seeking not to offend people yet somehow always saying the wrong thing or coming off the wrong way when speaking on sensitive subjects. I can read social cues, frankly, too well. This seems to conflict with ASD. Yet, I find myself feeling as if everyone else knows what to do and say while I don’t. I constantly ask questions to confirm what I believe is being asked of me or to confirm how a person is feeling. It’s like, I know, but I do have to double-check. I generally tend to read off someone’s vibe as not being interested in what I’m saying, but then they say they are, so I keep talking. Life long intensity. I may come off as too excited to be new friends with someone. Usually I end friendships prematurely by asking to trauma dump right away (because I genuinely find it interesting to talk about trauma) and even checking in throughout the conversation, yet then find that person never speaking to me again <3 Special interests. I feel intensely about psychology. I could talk about mental illness for hours. Even going on this several day binge so far of Autism/ADHD/Trauma content trying to get to the bottom of it all, it’s like there’s this excited energy in my chest. Even when I’ve seemed to drive myself almost insane by the amount of information I’m taking in and the amount of time I’m spending on it, I still like doing it. Even if I start to focus on something else, my mind comes right back. I just got out of my stardew valley fixation after weeks of playing every single day all day and finishing the entire game, eating up all the lore, and getting the achievements. Monopolizing/oversharing/hyperverbal. Again, I can’t help but tell practical strangers (as long as they have a good vibe) everything about me and my trauma. My issue is that, again, I find trauma interesting. I also just… find it most natural to be an open book. When people say “it’s okay to keep your own secrets” I just… don’t… want to…? Which causes some issues I think when it comes to people liking me or not or thinking I’m weird or not. I also would prefer to never shut up. I love talking. I conceptualize my feelings better verbally, even speaking to myself when I’m super conflicted about something or I’m overwhelmed and trying to identify my feelings. I consciously have to tell myself to give my conversation partners a turn, especially when I’m feeling particularly chatty. A life long curiosity. Why? Why do people do what they do? Why do they react the ways they do? Why do they handle situations the way they do? I remember being a small child and mentioning the concept of (morbid topic for my age) and why people dealt with it the way they did. I always find myself looking for the reason why, even to questions that may not have one, I cannot accept there is no answer. (This whole post being an example.) I consistently use metaphors to describe the way I’m feeling to other people. Sometimes they don’t really get why - but it’s what feels most meaningful and accurate to me. Feeling like I’m not inherently feminine enough, which feels like it’s goes into the territory of gendeautism. I know that I do identify with being a woman, but… it’s like I’m just a blob or a I’m a ying-yang of feminine and masculine, and it upsets me that the masculine is in there because it discredits what little femininity I do feel. Decision making paralysis. Huge issues with executive dysfunction Collecting traits and sayings and ways of speaking not to be “normal” but because I just wanted that trait to use for myself. Like, I’m a collection of little things I see other people do that I like or think are interesting. The feeling of masking. Always feeling like I’m pretending to be normal. Having the running inner monologue of “I’m just like you, I swear! I also know how to live a human, productive and healthy life!” (Now picture me rocking back and forth in a corner) Having a job means not having a life. I cannot both have a job and do household chores and take care of myself. I cannot fully explain this, but it’s like every bit of my energy is sucked into having a job and ~being a person who has a job.~ By the time I’m home or I have a day off, I have absolutely no physical energy to spare and barely any mental energy. I take almost any take on anything at face value. If you seem sure, I believe you. The only things I can’t be shook on are moral values. But, every time else, while I both have this distrust and learned skepticism, my natural reaction is to fully take in the opinion as fact. While I both fear and distrust people from my experiences, I also just am naturally trusting and gullible in nature. Being gullible was a huge issue for me as a child, before I learned skepticism. A feeling of energy in my body often that I feel like I just need to quietly scream out or shake out. Like my mind is on vibrate Not having routine makes me wanna 💀 but the concept of having too much makes me feel suffocated. Perfectionism, ex: feeling like I have to do it JUST right, like cleaning fully or not at all, which leads to a lot of not at all. -when a boundary is not said in direct cut language I have a tendency to not understand where they start and end or cross them without intending to. This caused a lot of issues with my last romantic relationship. -also have a very hard time conceptualizing setting my own boundaries but that could be trauma yknow. -lifelong anxiety, intense emotions, losing everything, procrastination that’s frankly unhealthy, etc I’m too tired to continue this list at the moment, but… does any of this come off as more than trauma/bpd/ocd?? Am I just… insane? Are all of these disorders combined enough to make someone feel insane? I am so very genuinely asking this because I am at my wits end and I need answers. I don’t… feel autistic that way I knew I was borderline. I always identified autistic traits in my friends but not myself until now that I’m really searching for an answer.

So let me explain what I mean here. In most games, if you ever lose, you're pretty much instantly put into a total failure state. Wiped in an RPG? Game Over. Out of health in an action game? Back to the checkpoint with you. Lose a critical building in an RTS? Mission failed. Now obviously this isn't a bad design choice at all and most games thrive on it, but I'm looking for something different. A game (I'm open on genre) where you can, say, get greedy on a dungeon dive, get wiped out, but you can send in another crew or something to try again, maybe even recover your lost characters or items. But - and this is a big but - not through the game ever forcing you to take an major arbitrary L through the plot.
Some examples of what I'm thinking of:

• AI War: Generally understood you'll lose a fleet or two on an attack gone wrong during a campaign, this is punished by game mechanics but proper defensive planning means you can survive and bounce back.
• Pyre: Narrative adapts if you lose games, picking yourself up after failure is a theme - but the game never forces you to lose just to show this.
• Total WaParadox Map-gazing/Other Grand Strategy: Very easy to take an unexpected loss and have to see how robust your empire is when you have to scrape together a new army with barbarians at the gates.
• Xcom: You're going to take some losses to the aliens, in terms of manpower, map control, and even whole missions, but you're given the tools to manage these losses.
• Darkest Dungeon: Probably the best example of what I'm talking about. It's very easy for things to go sideways and lose a veteran party with expensive gear. But clawing your way back is a skill too, as you can assemble new adventurers and run some easy dungeons to build up wealth and supplies to start making progress again.

And a point to the other side, games like Dark Souls aren't really an example since while you are expected to recover after frequent failure, that failure never significantly advances the game state, you just keep doing the same thing hopefully in a better way.
So what are your favourite games that let you keep playing and recover from failure? Looking for PC, Switch, and PS5 suggestions personally, but open to hearing any of your favourites!

Hello everyone! This is my first time building a PC. I am avid gamer (1-2 hours a day) and have been using my brothers PC (3070), my laptop (2018 Dell Xps 15), PS5 - just want a PC so I have one console to game on.
https://ca.pcpartpicker.com/useYodaTime29/saved/QbQNyc
1. What will you be doing with this PC? Be as specific as possible, and include specific games (ex: resolution, FPS, settings) or programs you will be using.

• Gaming - Valorant, Minecraft, Elend Ring, Cyberpunk 2077, RDR2, (want to start Helldivers 2)
  • Consistent FPS (~150)
  • 1440p resolution
  • Good connection (Ping usually bounces around)
• Training models, random AI stuff (have a setup at work but for fun/learning I want to have a personal PC)
  • Need 16GB VRam minimum

2. What is your maximum PRE-TAX budget before rebates and shipping?

• $2500 CAD (~$1800 USD)

3. When do you plan on building/buying the PC? Note: beyond a week or two from today means any build you receive will be out of date when you want to buy.

• ASAP

4. What, exactly, do you need included in the budget? (ex: toweOS/monitokeyboard/mouse/etc)

• OS - Windows
• Have mouse, keyboard, monitor, headphones for a setup that just uses my laptop like a PC

5. If reusing any parts (including monitor(s)/keyboard/mouse/etc), what parts will you be reusing? How old are they? Brands and models are appreciated.

• LG 24GL650-B
• G703 mouse
• EVGA Keyboard

6. Will you be overclocking (ex: CPU/GPU/RAM)? If yes, are you interested in overclocking right away, or down the line?

• Not looking to overclock unless required

7. Are there any specific features or items you want/need in the build? (ex: SSDs, mass HDDs, Wi-Fi / Bluetooth, VR, VirtualLink, tensor cores, large amount of storage or a RAID setup, CUDA or OpenCL support, etc.)

• Need Wi-Fi connection (Planning on having a LAN connection in 1 year)

8. Do you have any specific case preferences (ex: mITX/mATX/mid-towefull-tower sizes, styles, colours, window or not, LED lighting, etc.), or a particular color theme preference for the components?

• Windows and do not need LED lighting
• Don't care how it looks, I will hide it underneath my desk

9. Do you need a copy of Windows included in the budget?

• Will need to buy

10. Will you be upgrading this PC in the future (ie: will you swap out better parts later on or will you build an entirely new tower later)? If so, when?

• I just want a good PC that'll last me a minimum of 5+ years. - So depends on my situation

11. Do you have a brand preference? (ex: AMD/Intel for CPUs, AMD/NVIDIA for video cards, etc.)

• Honestly have no preference just want to be able to game, but I have seen that for AI purposes NVIDIA is the way to go

12. Extra info or particulars:

• Difference between 4070 ti super and 4080 super
  • Should I splurge for a 4080 super? Around $300/400 more
• Any hidden things that I would have to buy? Like a wifi-adapter, etc?
  • Just want to know my full price before I commit.

Thank you for any help in advance!

Hello everyone! This is my first time building a PC. I am avid gamer (1-2 hours a day) and have been using my brothers PC (3070), my laptop (2018 Dell Xps 15), PS5 - just want a PC so I have one console to game on.
https://ca.pcpartpicker.com/useYodaTime29/saved/QbQNyc
1. What will you be doing with this PC? Be as specific as possible, and include specific games (ex: resolution, FPS, settings) or programs you will be using.

• Gaming - Valorant, Minecraft, Elend Ring, Cyberpunk 2077, RDR2, (want to start Helldivers 2)
  • Consistent FPS (~150)
  • 1440p resolution
  • Good connection (Ping usually bounces around)
• Training models, random AI stuff (have a setup at work but for fun/learning I want to have a personal PC)
  • Need 16GB VRam minimum

2. What is your maximum PRE-TAX budget before rebates and shipping?

• $2500 CAD (~$1800 USD)

3. When do you plan on building/buying the PC? Note: beyond a week or two from today means any build you receive will be out of date when you want to buy.

• ASAP

4. What, exactly, do you need included in the budget? (ex: toweOS/monitokeyboard/mouse/etc)

• OS - Windows
• Have mouse, keyboard, monitor, headphones for a setup that just uses my laptop like a PC

5. If reusing any parts (including monitor(s)/keyboard/mouse/etc), what parts will you be reusing? How old are they? Brands and models are appreciated.

• LG 24GL650-B
• G703 mouse
• EVGA Keyboard

6. Will you be overclocking (ex: CPU/GPU/RAM)? If yes, are you interested in overclocking right away, or down the line?

• Not looking to overclock unless required

7. Are there any specific features or items you want/need in the build? (ex: SSDs, mass HDDs, Wi-Fi / Bluetooth, VR, VirtualLink, tensor cores, large amount of storage or a RAID setup, CUDA or OpenCL support, etc.)

• Need Wi-Fi connection (Planning on having a LAN connection in 1 year)

8. Do you have any specific case preferences (ex: mITX/mATX/mid-towefull-tower sizes, styles, colours, window or not, LED lighting, etc.), or a particular color theme preference for the components?

• Windows and do not need LED lighting
• Don't care how it looks, I will hide it underneath my desk

9. Do you need a copy of Windows included in the budget?

• Will need to buy

10. Will you be upgrading this PC in the future (ie: will you swap out better parts later on or will you build an entirely new tower later)? If so, when?

• I just want a good PC that'll last me a minimum of 5+ years. - So depends on my situation

11. Do you have a brand preference? (ex: AMD/Intel for CPUs, AMD/NVIDIA for video cards, etc.)

• Honestly have no preference just want to be able to game, but I have seen that for AI purposes NVIDIA is the way to go

12. Extra info or particulars:

• Difference between 4070 ti super and 4080 super
  • Should I splurge for a 4080 super? Around $300/400 more
• Any hidden things that I would have to buy? Like a wifi-adapter, etc?
  • Just want to know my full price before I commit.

Thank you for any help in advance!

Hello. I encounter this issue with games like stray or carmageddon: max damage. I cannot change (lower) the resolution in stray because fps goes from ~40 down to ~10 and won't go back to normal, the same for some game animations or sometimes reloading a checkpoint (hit or miss). If i change the resolution again the image just freezes but i can hear the game running and i can still play it (with no video obviously).
Similiar things happens to carmageddon: max damage. I restart a level 4 or 5 times (more or less) and it starts to stutter a lot.
No difference using lutris wine runners (tried wine-ge 8.26 and lutris 7.2.2) or system wine 9.7 staging. The same using dxvk or vkd3d (stray dx11 or dx12). I cannot test nouveau or wined3d because they are just a slideshow.
I'm using artix linux xfce s6, but I tried it with mate and lxqt desktop too and other distros like devuan and MX linux.
This is the lutris -d output of stray (done a video mode switch):
Start monitoring process.
fsync: up and running.
wine: RLIMIT_NICE is <= 20, unable to use setpriority safely 1620.801:00dc:00e0:info:vkd3d-proton:vkd3d_instance_apply_application_workarounds: Program name: "Stray-Win64-Shipping.exe" (hash: e540cd29d917c790) 1620.801:00dc:00e0:info:vkd3d-proton:vkd3d_instance_apply_application_workarounds: Detected game Stray-Win64-Shipping.exe, adding shader quirks for specific shaders. 1620.801:00dc:00e0:info:vkd3d-proton:vkd3d_instance_deduce_config_flags_from_environment: shader_cache is used, global_pipeline_cache is enforced. 1620.801:00dc:00e0:info:vkd3d-proton:vkd3d_config_flags_init_once: VKD3D_CONFIG=''. 1620.802:00dc:00e0:info:vkd3d-proton:vkd3d_get_vk_version: vkd3d-proton - applicationVersion: 2.12.0. 1620.802:00dc:00e0:info:vkd3d-proton:vkd3d_instance_init: vkd3d-proton - build: 7460c70de0dff08. 1620.927:00dc:00e0:info:vkd3d-proton:vkd3d_memory_info_upload_hvv_memory_properties: Topology: Device heaps are split. Assuming small BAR situation. Using HOST_COHERENT only. 1620.927:00dc:00e0:info:vkd3d-proton:vkd3d_bindless_state_get_bindless_flags: Enabling fast paths for advanced ExecuteIndirect() graphics and compute. 1620.927:00dc:00e0:info:vkd3d-proton:vkd3d_bindless_state_get_bindless_flags: Device does not support VK_EXT_mutable_descriptor_type (or VALVE). 1620.927:00dc:00e0:info:vkd3d-proton:vkd3d_bindless_state_add_binding: Device supports VK_EXT_descriptor_buffer! 1620.927:00dc:00e0:info:vkd3d-proton:vkd3d_bindless_state_add_binding: Device supports VK_EXT_descriptor_buffer! 1620.927:00dc:00e0:info:vkd3d-proton:vkd3d_bindless_state_add_binding: Device supports VK_EXT_descriptor_buffer! 1620.927:00dc:00e0:info:vkd3d-proton:vkd3d_bindless_state_add_binding: Device supports VK_EXT_descriptor_buffer! 1620.927:00dc:00e0:info:vkd3d-proton:vkd3d_bindless_state_add_binding: Device supports VK_EXT_descriptor_buffer! 1620.927:00dc:00e0:info:vkd3d-proton:vkd3d_bindless_state_add_binding: Device supports VK_EXT_descriptor_buffer! 1620.927:00dc:00e0:info:vkd3d-proton:vkd3d_bindless_state_add_binding: Device supports VK_EXT_descriptor_buffer! 1620.930:00dc:00e0:info:vkd3d-proton:d3d12_device_caps_init_shader_model: Enabling support for SM 6.6. 1620.930:00dc:00e0:fixme:vkd3d-proton:d3d12_device_caps_init_feature_options1: TotalLaneCount = 384, may be inaccurate. 1620.930:00dc:00e0:info:vkd3d-proton:vkd3d_pipeline_library_init_disk_cache: Remapping VKD3D_SHADER_CACHE to: vkd3d-proton.cache. 1620.930:00dc:00e0:info:vkd3d-proton:vkd3d_pipeline_library_init_disk_cache: Attempting to load disk cache from: vkd3d-proton.cache. 1620.931:00dc:01a0:info:vkd3d-proton:vkd3d_pipeline_library_disk_thread_main: Performing async setup of stream archive ... 1620.931:00dc:01a0:info:vkd3d-proton:vkd3d_pipeline_library_disk_cache_merge: No write cache exists. No need to merge any disk caches. 1620.931:00dc:01a0:info:vkd3d-proton:vkd3d_pipeline_library_disk_cache_initial_setup: Merging pipeline libraries took 0.203 ms. 1620.931:00dc:01a0:info:vkd3d-proton:vkd3d_pipeline_library_disk_cache_initial_setup: Mapping read-only cache took 0.192 ms. 1620.931:00dc:01a0:info:vkd3d-proton:d3d12_pipeline_library_read_blob_stream_format: Device teardown request received, stopping parse early. 1620.931:00dc:01a0:info:vkd3d-proton:vkd3d_pipeline_library_disk_cache_initial_setup: Parsing stream archive took 0.009 ms. 1620.931:00dc:01a0:info:vkd3d-proton:vkd3d_pipeline_library_disk_thread_main: Done performing async setup of stream archive. 1621.004:00dc:00e0:info:vkd3d-proton:vkd3d_get_vk_version: vkd3d-proton - applicationVersion: 2.12.0. 1621.004:00dc:00e0:info:vkd3d-proton:vkd3d_instance_init: vkd3d-proton - build: 7460c70de0dff08. 1621.125:00dc:00e0:info:vkd3d-proton:vkd3d_memory_info_upload_hvv_memory_properties: Topology: Device heaps are split. Assuming small BAR situation. Using HOST_COHERENT only. 1621.125:00dc:00e0:info:vkd3d-proton:vkd3d_bindless_state_get_bindless_flags: Enabling fast paths for advanced ExecuteIndirect() graphics and compute. 1621.125:00dc:00e0:info:vkd3d-proton:vkd3d_bindless_state_get_bindless_flags: Device does not support VK_EXT_mutable_descriptor_type (or VALVE). 1621.125:00dc:00e0:info:vkd3d-proton:vkd3d_bindless_state_add_binding: Device supports VK_EXT_descriptor_buffer! 1621.125:00dc:00e0:info:vkd3d-proton:vkd3d_bindless_state_add_binding: Device supports VK_EXT_descriptor_buffer! 1621.125:00dc:00e0:info:vkd3d-proton:vkd3d_bindless_state_add_binding: Device supports VK_EXT_descriptor_buffer! 1621.125:00dc:00e0:info:vkd3d-proton:vkd3d_bindless_state_add_binding: Device supports VK_EXT_descriptor_buffer! 1621.125:00dc:00e0:info:vkd3d-proton:vkd3d_bindless_state_add_binding: Device supports VK_EXT_descriptor_buffer! 1621.125:00dc:00e0:info:vkd3d-proton:vkd3d_bindless_state_add_binding: Device supports VK_EXT_descriptor_buffer! 1621.125:00dc:00e0:info:vkd3d-proton:vkd3d_bindless_state_add_binding: Device supports VK_EXT_descriptor_buffer! 1621.127:00dc:00e0:info:vkd3d-proton:d3d12_device_caps_init_shader_model: Enabling support for SM 6.6. 1621.127:00dc:00e0:fixme:vkd3d-proton:d3d12_device_caps_init_feature_options1: TotalLaneCount = 384, may be inaccurate. 1621.127:00dc:00e0:info:vkd3d-proton:vkd3d_pipeline_library_init_disk_cache: Remapping VKD3D_SHADER_CACHE to: vkd3d-proton.cache. 1621.127:00dc:00e0:info:vkd3d-proton:vkd3d_pipeline_library_init_disk_cache: Attempting to load disk cache from: vkd3d-proton.cache. 1621.128:00dc:01a8:info:vkd3d-proton:vkd3d_pipeline_library_disk_thread_main: Performing async setup of stream archive ... 1621.128:00dc:01a8:info:vkd3d-proton:vkd3d_pipeline_library_disk_cache_merge: No write cache exists. No need to merge any disk caches. 1621.128:00dc:01a8:info:vkd3d-proton:vkd3d_pipeline_library_disk_cache_initial_setup: Merging pipeline libraries took 0.220 ms. 1621.128:00dc:01a8:info:vkd3d-proton:vkd3d_pipeline_library_disk_cache_initial_setup: Mapping read-only cache took 0.358 ms. 1621.129:00dc:01a8:info:vkd3d-proton:vkd3d_pipeline_library_disk_cache_initial_setup: Parsing stream archive took 0.596 ms. 1621.129:00dc:01a8:info:vkd3d-proton:vkd3d_pipeline_library_disk_thread_main: Done performing async setup of stream archive. 1621.288:00dc:00e0:info:vkd3d-proton:dxgi_vk_swap_chain_init: Creating swapchain (1680 x 1050), BufferCount = 3. 1621.288:00dc:00e0:info:vkd3d-proton:dxgi_vk_swap_chain_init_sync_objects: Ensure maximum latency of 3 frames with KHR_present_wait. 1621.290:00dc:00e0:info:vkd3d-proton:dxgi_vk_swap_chain_init_waiter_thread: Enabling present wait path for frame latency. 1621.452:00dc:01b0:info:vkd3d-proton:dxgi_vk_swap_chain_recreate_swapchain_in_present_task: Got 3 swapchain images. 1621.552:00dc:01b0:info:vkd3d-proton:dxgi_vk_swap_chain_recreate_swapchain_in_present_task: Got 3 swapchain images. 1624.561:00dc:00e0:fixme:vkd3d-proton:dxgi_vk_swap_chain_SetGammaControl: iface 00000000156b7680, NumControlPoints 1024, pControlPoints 0000000015684510 stub! 1624.685:00dc:00e0:info:vkd3d-proton:dxgi_vk_swap_chain_ChangeProperties: Reallocating swapchain (1296 x 810), BufferCount = 3. 1624.826:00dc:01b0:info:vkd3d-proton:dxgi_vk_swap_chain_recreate_swapchain_in_present_task: Got 3 swapchain images. 1660.104:00dc:01b0:info:vkd3d-proton:dxgi_vk_swap_chain_recreate_swapchain_in_present_task: Got 3 swapchain images. 1660.187:00dc:01b0:info:vkd3d-proton:dxgi_vk_swap_chain_recreate_swapchain_in_present_task: Got 3 swapchain images. 1660.270:00dc:01b0:info:vkd3d-proton:dxgi_vk_swap_chain_recreate_swapchain_in_present_task: Got 3 swapchain images. 1660.416:00dc:01b0:err:vkd3d-proton:dxgi_vk_swap_chain_recreate_swapchain_in_present_task: Failed to create swapchain, vr -2. 1660.530:00dc:00e0:info:vkd3d-proton:dxgi_vk_swap_chain_ChangeProperties: Reallocating swapchain (1280 x 800), BufferCount = 3. 1660.924:00dc:01b0:err:vkd3d-proton:dxgi_vk_swap_chain_recreate_swapchain_in_present_task: Failed to create swapchain, vr -2. 1661.000:00dc:01b0:err:vkd3d-proton:dxgi_vk_swap_chain_recreate_swapchain_in_present_task: Failed to create swapchain, vr -2. 1661.167:00dc:01b0:err:vkd3d-proton:dxgi_vk_swap_chain_recreate_swapchain_in_present_task: Failed to create swapchain, vr -2. 1661.282:00dc:01b0:err:vkd3d-proton:dxgi_vk_swap_chain_recreate_swapchain_in_present_task: Failed to create swapchain, vr -2. 1661.394:00dc:01b0:info:vkd3d-proton:dxgi_vk_swap_chain_recreate_swapchain_in_present_task: Got 3 swapchain images. 1673.918:00dc:025c:fixme:vkd3d-proton:dxgi_vk_swap_chain_SetGammaControl: iface 00000000156b7680, NumControlPoints 0, pControlPoints 0000000000000000 stub! Monitored process exited
neofetch output:
OS: Artix Linux x86_64
Host: OptiPlex 7010 01
Kernel: 6.6.30-2-lts
Uptime: 22 mins
Packages: 1151 (pacman), 1 (dpkg)
Shell: bash 5.2.26
Resolution: 1680x1050
DE: Xfce 4.18
WM: Xfwm4
WM Theme: Default
Theme: Artix-dark [GTK2/3]
Icons: elementary [GTK2], matefaenzad
Terminal: xfce4-terminal
Terminal Font: Roboto Mono 11
CPU: Intel i5-3570 (4) @ 3.800GHz
GPU: NVIDIA GeForce GT 1030
Memory: 1656MiB / 7899MiB
this is extended system info from lutris submit issue report:
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clflush dts acpi mmx fxsr sse sse2 ss ht tm pbe syscall nx rdtscp lm constant_tsc arch_perfmon pebs bts rep_good nopl xtopology nonstop_tsc cpuid aperfmperf pni pclmulqdq dtes64 monitor ds_cpl vmx smx est tm2 ssse3 cx16 xtpr pdcm pcid sse4_1 sse4_2 x2apic popcnt tsc_deadline_timer aes xsave avx f16c rdrand lahf_lm cpuid_fault epb pti ssbd ibrs ibpb stibp tpr_shadow flexpriority ept vpid fsgsbase smep erms xsaveopt dtherm ida arat pln pts vnmi md_clear flush_l1d", "vmx flags": "vnmi preemption_timer invvpid ept_x_only flexpriority tsc_offset vtpr mtf vapic ept vpid unrestricted_guest", "bugs": "cpu_meltdown spectre_v1 spectre_v2 spec_store_bypass l1tf mds swapgs itlb_multihit srbds mmio_unknown", "bogomips": "6786.95", "clflush size": "64", "cache_alignment": "64", "address sizes": "36 bits physical, 48 bits virtual", "power management": "" } ], "drives": [ { "name": "sda", "fstype": null, "fsver": null, "label": null, "uuid": null, "fsavail": null, "fsuse%": null, "mountpoints": [ null 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The Harmony of Energy: A Unifying Perspective on the Universe
An explanation of the universe is that it operates by one simple pattern. This is the movement of energy into a space, then reacting to the environment it currently occupies, and finally moving out of that space. Nothing escapes this pattern. There is no time limit for how long it takes energy to react to its environment before it leaves.
From the beginning, the universe was destined to evolve. It went from a singular entity containing all forms of energy as one unified energy, to the expanding universe of solid and fluid forms we know now. It did this by converting the one energy it was, into a distinct 2, negative and positive energy. As a singular entity, everything we know existed as a fluid form of energy. This energy as a singularity moved as one. It was unable to pass through each other due to its compacted state. It was more of a domino effect, where in order for something to move, the space in front had to be free. The conversion into a distinct 2, expanded space and created individual pieces able to pass by each other at varying frequencies.
As a singularity, the energy movement could have been a multitude of things. From the center, energy would be at its highest temperature and cast out to the edge of the entity where it is is coolest. At this point a wall containing everything forms. I think of this point as half the life of the energy cast out. It now coverts to what will be a negative form and returns to its source. Outside of this wall is a void where nothing exists. For our universe to function, energy must be present. The void is a place lack of any energy, unable to sustain life in any way, and viewed as the blackness of outer space.
Energy is the smallest unit anything can be. I choose the term energy instead of string while the two coincide. Energy in this respect, can be thought of in an individual form and as an electrical signature vibrating at a frequency. The oscillation is how positive energies move through the cooling effect of negative energy. In the beginning there was a vast amount of energy interacting and forming solid structures in the universe. As these structures formed, less energy was available. When energies do not interact, they bounce off each other which created a chaotic environment in the beginning. As time progressed, energies combined to create physical structures. This took away from the vast pool of fluid energy released in the beginning and gave the universe solid structures. Presently we have a stabilized universe and clear patterns can be observed.
There are many possible reasons why creation took place, but we are here as proof of the event. When creation did take place, energy learned how to pass through stationary space by causing the space itself to perform a new movement, the cartwheel. As a singularity, energy moved in more of a straight line, only able to move into a space that was already empty. The cartwheel allows for energy to coexist and move in all directions through a stationary space. I place a large wheel rotating that dictates which pole it is in. Along each arm of this large wheel are smaller wheels allowing varying frequencies to coexist in a single space. As energy moves through space it rarefies and decreases in temperature, I separate space as a box with a cartwheeling bar inside. These blocks are not all the same size and the bar fits accordingly. Every block needs to be 100% occupied by energy. When positive is released it occupies 99% of that block and negative occupies 1%. For every percentage drop of positive going away from its source, negative gains a percent heading back. The physical dimensions of the energies in a block must equal each other. So the 1% of negative is just as large ( if not slightly larger) and using the same amount of space as the 99% positive. This is due to the different speeds of energy. As energy transfers from one block to another, the process may be seen as a wave function, from this we get a specific frequency.
With different speeds of energy, the frequency of light would not be the fastest form of energy but possibly the fastest a solid natural structure can move. Illumination comes from energy slowing. Light comes from the smaller wheels and energy crashing against physical reality. It is energy being absorbed by an atom and reflecting what was not absorbed. It is energy slowing down to still be observed as a wave but right before it becomes a particle.
Energy, in its simplest form, is so small and fast we can’t detect it. It’s like having two things in one place. That’s more of a positive feature. As positive reduces itself, the conversion to negative begins to grow. As negative grows it becomes more powerful, although the same strength. It’s more like a larger net being able to grab more. Entropy is the reduction of positive as negative grows. The conversion of positive to negative states is due to positives ability to produce heat and stay in an individual form. Negative is considered as not producing heat or having an individual form but traveling at a pace relative to terminal velocity. The process can be reversed naturally, as is what happens with fusion, or influenced by external forces, like a microwave oven.
As the sun releases it’s positive energy, it is hot and pushes planets to their orbital tracks. The incoming energy of the universe towards the sun, can be thought of as negative, is cold and holds the planets in their tracks. At first, I only considered the positive push as a means of dictating orbital paths. I’ve reconsidered negatives influence and now use this as the basis for abnormal tracks.
I began this thought with magnetism being as is. As the idea developed, that opinion changed. I no longer view magnetism as an attraction of positive and negative, but rather positive and negative being the structure of things. Real attraction is frequency based and attracted to the higher vibration and smallest wave length. For every positive there is a negative field surrounding it. With that I began looking at things like this. Everything is attracted to the higher vibration of positive. Positive is attracted to positive but when the vibrations aren’t in order deflection occurs, because the larger wave pushes the smaller ahead. Negative is still attracted to positive but positive is not attracted to negative. (In this thought if positive and negative are equally attracted, everything would still be as one.) This accounts for gravitational pull gaining nearest a source of positive but not increasing in velocity.
Time is governed by the frequency it currently exists in. If the bar were to have notches on it, each notch would pass time differently. If we could stop the cartwheel, time would pause. Time is controlled by the amount of oscillations in the wave, or simply its frequency. Changing the frequency changes how time passes.
Atoms contain all four fundamental forces according to this thought. Those forces are the strong force, the weak force, gravity, and electromagnetism.
Energy is the building blocks of the universe. As a fluid form in space there are always two parts, positive and negative. Their parts always equal each other in size, not individual pieces. In the thought, positive is surrounded by negative keeping positive individualized. When two positive are able to bond a particle may form. I’ve thought about how this binding might occur. What I came up with is that a group of positive energy travels the universe and it’s internal parts are a even number. This group collides with another group of energy equaling odd parts internally and the total sum of the newly combined group equals a prime number. The prime number is important. As equal parts bounce off the extra piece from a prime didn’t know where to go and gets stuck In the middle acting as an anchor, while attracting the other parts to breach their negative shell and combine as one, converting the fluid energy as a piece of physical reality.
The strong force is the repulsion from negative electrons being attracted to and pressing against the nucleus. The reason why electrons don’t bond to protons is because of positive’s repulsion of negative, while negative’s attraction to positive is what holds the atom together. The weak force is the outgoing frequency created by the positive nucleus. Just as with the sun, energy congregates at the nucleus as an incoming source, it reacts to its environment and gets broken down, then leaves, perhaps as a form of radioactive decay. Gravity exists between the outer negative sphere of electrons exerting a pushing force against the positive pushing force of the nucleus, just as is with my description of the solar system. Within this zone may exist the beginnings of particles behaving in the same manner as planets in a solar system, but my guess is that this is a fluid zone.
The thought transfers from big to small easily.
I’ll try to give examples of how this thought of simplicity explains the entire universe.
As the universe began to take shape, the chaotic environment of energy bouncing here and there left some of the corners open from. As these corners sat, backhoes formed, attracting and absorbing the negative energy of the universe. As this happens more and more energy gathers until enough pressure is created that the negative energy shatters ( because it’s so large and slow with no way to turn) and converts to positive. The conversion is negative breaking apart into hot individual pieces and creating a star. The conversion is a learning experience as all pieces carry information. These pieces are now quickly converted and cast out at a rapid velocity slowing as they come into contact with negative. Positive pushes large bodies ( like a planet) away as the pull of negative brings these bodies toward the sun. From this we get a cosmic tug of war, where the planet settles on it’s orbital track. As the energy continues out it reaches the heliosphere. Once at the heliosphere some of the energy reverts to negative and is absorbed once again by the sun. The other escapes the bubble of the heliosphere and attaches to another source of energy ( like a different star) to continue its journey. A moon or disc are remnants from a planets creation making them attracted to the closer source of the planets hot core. By explanation in this article, a white hole is manifested as a sun or star.
Gravity can be explained in multiple ways by these thoughts. Gravity could be the same as is with the orbital planets with the exception that the frequency we orbit as people, is subterranean. For instance an atom is attracted to its like, bonding occurs and we may get a rock. Similar vibrations attract to each other and two separate rocks may bind together. While at the same time other frequencies simply pass through. Our bodies could be attracted to the core of earth but the vibrations of our bodies and the ground won’t allow binding because of the vibrations of energy and the negative field that surrounds our bodies verses the field surrounding the rock. At the same time the incoming energy from the cosmos could be pushing us down. Keep in mind that the outgoing energy from earth moves faster than the the incoming energy from the cosmos being absorbed by earth. (This is seen by the clouds creating that flat bottom while the tops are more sporadic.)
The Milky Way has a black hole at center. As the galaxy spirals towards the center, enough mass will be collected and may trigger the black hole to become a large star. When this happens the black hole will shed its outer shell to create the galaxy that spirals around it and the process begins again. As stated the opposite to a black hole is a white hole but we must consider why this phenomenon hasn’t yet been observed. Credited to this article, the explanation is that it has been observed but misunderstood. With the theme of balancing the universe, would a large star be surrounded by much smaller black holes. Would these smaller black holes feed the larger star by way of quantum bridge or worm hole and vice verse for smaller stars and larger black holes?
Here is a simplified version of this idea. Energy moves in and out of everything. It comes in as a negative and out as a positive. If energy were emitted from our sun it would come out at 99% strength and at a high frequency. At that same point in space is an equally sized negative but at 1 % strength, combined together the space is 100% filled. The reason for this is that positive moves much faster than negative as entropy has diminished the charge over time and the distance it’s traveled. As positive moves to its next side it loses a piece of itself, which is converted to negative. Now this spot is 98% + and 2% -. This is directly related to gravitational forces and time dilation. When positive energy reaches 50%, it has a certain probability of converting to negative energy, which is then attracted back to a positive source with a corresponding probability of being converted back to positive energy.