As the title says, I feel stuck. I was laid off due to the startup I was with restructuring last summer, having been with them for over 5 years. I grew from support to being an SME, writing the onboarding training program, providing advanced client training and consulting, and assisting the sales team.
The reasons I was given for the layoff were due to the company restructuring, which, while I believe, I think that if personal politics had not been a factor they would have worked with me to find another path for me but due to the operations team having favorites in similar roles that wasn’t presented as an option. I’ve spent almost a year in an outside sales role in a territory that, prior to me had not kept a rep longer than 2-3 months, and I was doing great. April was my worst month, by far, and I’m struggling this month to reestablish momentum. This has me considering switching careers or at least companies, as I do really enjoy sales, but I’m lacking direction.
I feel like not having a degree has nailed my feet down and made finding options limited. When I was laid off, I applied to 1057 jobs, between indeed, LinkedIn, Ziprecruiter, and personal connections, and only progressed past the initial interview with 8 companies. 3 of those moved past that and only one gave an offer, at 18k lower than advertised.
Am I stuck in sales? How can I use training, support, sales and sales enablement experience to land something? I’m a fantastic interviewer; well spoken and friendly, but I feel like I can’t even get to the point where I’m interviewing now.
Thanks for any input or advice!

So yeah, pretty much what the title sounds like. I (21 M) have been going through a bit of a “hoe phase” for the past month or so with guys off of Grindr. Right now, there’s this guy (43 M) that I’ve been seeing and I’m starting to really get attached in a way I didn’t expect. We’ve been texting every day all day for a couple weeks now, we’ve hung out, gone out to dinner, and it’s been really nice every time I’m with him. We have a lot in common, both in and out of the bedroom. I’m trans and this is the first cis guy I’ve met willing to respect my identity and go out of his way to make me feel comfortable. (A low bar, I know) I’ve spent hours with him and it didn’t even feel like time was passing. Not to mention the sex is phenomenal. Every so often he’ll bring up the fact that we’re fuck buddies, or that this will all come to an end at some point, and it makes me honestly sad to think about. I don’t really want this to be over any time soon. But I also know that the age gap is pretty big between us. And I honestly don’t think I’d spend the rest of my life with this guy, but I don’t want to lose him just yet. Is that selfish? I don’t want to stop him from finding someone just so he can mess around with someone half his age, and he’s said before he’d understand if I told him I started dating someone. But I don’t find myself wanting that right now. I just wanna spend my free time with him. I don’t know what to do, or where this is gonna go from here. I personally don’t care about the age difference between us. But I’ll probably never actually say any of this to him. I’m too scared of pushing him away or something. Our relationship is mostly sexual so I really can’t tell if he genuinely just wants something short and fun or if he wants something a bit longer lasting. I can tell this guy all my kinks but the second it comes to how I’m feeling I shut down. I’ve always seen age gap couples and thought the guys a creep no matter the circumstances, now I’m not so sure. He doesn’t really like when I bring up my age, if anything I think he’s more freaked out about it than I am. Which is another reason why I won’t tell him any of this. Once he asked if I’ve told anyone about him, when I said yes his follow up question was if I told them how old he was. When I said yes he seemed genuinely shocked, like he’d expected to be kept a secret. But I like him, a lot, so I talk about him sometimes. I have a feeling he doesn’t talk about me much, but nothing I can do about that. TL;DR I’m falling for a guy double my age, he keeps calling us fuck buddies and I don’t know if that’s what I want

My journey towards my first injection of Zepbound the Friday before last started at an age earlier than I can remember. I was told that I would finish bottles twice as fast as my brother and sisters did and that was just the beginning. I can remember my first official diet at the age of 10 and can recall the allowances given by Weight Watchers to this day, 6 protein, 5 starch, 5 dairy, 3 fats, and 3 fruits, with unlimited servings of vegetables. At the time this was the accepted way of doing things and the family followed this plan together. We would calculate these portions and buy frozen meals that had these values written on the side. I never would have known that this would be the start of a lifelong battle, where I was accepted and validated while losing weight, dismissed and ridiculed when I wasn’t. In my house weight loss was looked at as a matter of willpower and my father would take me to the grocery store where we would open the bakery cabinet and breathe in the scents of the muffins, brownies, and other pastries without giving in the the temptation of eating any of them. The yo-yoing of my weight started then and continued through 5 years ago, when I was larger than ever and found my way to a weight loss clinic that restricted calories down to 800 a day before building back up over time, mostly through the use of bars and shakes, alongside a meal of protein and veggies. Just like in the past I was able to shed weight on command with a restrictive system, eventually losing 140 pounds, which brought me from 388 down to 248. This was by far the largest loss of my life, having had losses of 90, 75, and multiple losses in the 30-50 range. This time it felt different, but the binge eating at night came back every time I would get to the 250 range. Like clockwork I would creep up and the nurse practitioner would ask if I wanted to try a medication to help and instantly I would take offense and lose the 15 pounds that crept back on, realizing along the way that I needed someone to doubt me, that I needed someone to not believe in me to get back on track. Through this entire journey I had told every person involved that I would be impressed if they could help me keep myself within a 15 pound range for over a year. This method came close but it was always 15 up and 15 down, cycling nearly every other month. This epiphany was met with curiosity and I eventually was referred to a mindful nutritionist that focused on talking through my binge eating issues and removing the good vs. bad labels that I placed on each food my entire life as it relates to food. It took some time to get on their calendar and by then I had risen to 270 pounds. I started this new part of the journey barely eating any real foods and over time I incorporated foods into my life, while removing the labels associated with them. My weight crept up, but I knew this was part of the plan as I judged less and shamed myself even less. I knew this as I had taken up zen meditation over the past few years and along the way I noticed a voice in my head, that voice used my mother’s nickname for me and whenever clothes started to tighten I would hear this admonition, and then one day I realized that I was saying these shame ridden insult out loud to myself. Over the course of a year I reduced my binge eating considerably and accepted more foods into my life. I also noticed that I would often tell my children that “I couldn’t be trusted” with his food and that food and over time I stopped doing these things, both to my benefit and their’s, as the parentification wasn’t good for either of us. Despite all of this I still continued to see the numbers climb, but didn’t weigh myself and felt better than I ever had at such a high weight. As I went past the 300 mark the guilt wasn’t there and the shame was lessened to a a degree I couldn’t imagine. Along this path I believed that the more self acceptance I could show, the less shame I would feel, and in turn I would eat only one hungry, at least eventually. My weight stabilized and I thought I was in my way,but my clothes kept getting tighter, bit by bit over time. At my next physical my doctor looked at my weight and immediately went to suggesting medication. As I tried to explain my work with my nutritionist he was dismissive and kept referring to the work I was doing as being on a diet, which I had refused to do. I was incorporating all foods in my life while not binging and although I physically didn’t feel great, I was proud of the mental place I was in. It was at this time that I began a 4-5 month dialogue between my doctor and my nutritionist. Talking about my goals, fears, and everything in between. I had become comfortable in a bigger body and accepting of it, however I was starting to notice the effect on my psyche, especially at work when I had to present and speak publicly or on camera. I came to the conclusion that I just wanted to be able to exercise regularly and buy clothes at a regular store, staying at XXL sizes or below. My nutritionist was along for the ride and while she never had a patient on Zepbound her approval meant the world to me as I had my doctor place the prescription in at the pharmacy. It was another 2 months before I asked them to fill it and I eventually had it delivered and in my fridge. I had been dismissive of everyone who had bariatric surgery and other interventions, for they didn’t have the “willpower” that I had to lose weight on command. Swallowing my pride I injected myself 11 days ago not knowing what to expect. The injection instead served as admission that I was no better than anyone else and that I could accept medical intervention for something that I just couldn’t solve in any way. After the injection I experienced a profound moment where I went to the pantry prior to a Zoom panel discussion that would have 400 people on it. In this moment I realized that I always came here prior to speaking publicly, it his time was different. I realized I wasn’t hungry and I also realized that my anxiety was lessened in a way far beyond my appetite and impulses. In the 11 days since I have come to terms with the fact that I suffered from anxiety deeper than I ever knew and this new medication made that completely clear. I now move forward hoping to stay in XXL or lower, but fearful that without this medication my anxiety will come back, with my impulsive eating right behind. I then come back to the fact that I will continue the meditation practice, exercise routine, and self acceptance tools that I’ve worked on diligently over the years to guide my path. I don’t know where this journey will take me, but I am glad that I was able to share this publicly for the first time here on Reddit

Using a throw away cause my husband, we’ll call him Randy is on reddit quite a bit. We have been married for going on 4 years. We knew each other and dated briefly in high school, found our way back to each other 10 years later and ended up getting married.
Now Randy is an avid gamer. I don’t just mean enjoys the occasional video game. I mean spends 10% of his life working, 10% of his life sleeping, and the other 80% is on the game. I mean wakes up and the first thing he does is hit the power button, the moment he comes home from work, he hits the power button, every literally waking second he is stationed in front of that computer.
Video games just aren’t my thing. Never have been. I’m not good at them and it’s never really intrigued me. I knew about his love of games when we met and I guess part of me just assumed maybe he’d cut down some of that time for me… he doesn’t. He doesn’t ask me to go out. He doesn’t plan anything. If he had it his way he would stay at home in front of that screen every second of every day. I honestly think it’s borderline an addiction but maybe I’m being dramatic.
Either way we’re approaching year 4 of marriage and NOTHING has improved. We’ve had multiple conversations, fights, etc about the amount he spends on the game and how little effort he puts into spending time together or with me or just our marriage in general. I dead ass spent a decent chunk of money on a gaming PC because I wanted to make an attempt at gaming with him or getting into it just for the off chance I could save our marriage and I just can’t… I work on a computer and spending 8 hrs a day in front of one computer to get off work and move to a different one just doesn’t work for me. I like to go out and experience things… movies, museums, dinners, theme parks, literally anything but getting him to go anywhere or do anything is like pulling teeth especially because I know he doesn’t want to go out or do those things and it makes me feel guilty for dragging him out from where he’d rather be.
In previous relationships i had to become comfortable with my own company and in many ways i am. If I want to go out and do something generally I’ll just do it but I feel so fucking lonely when I have a whole fucking husband at home. After 4 years and many talks about this issue with no changes or improvements just “sorry” and “I’ll try and do betters.” Should I just admit we really aren’t compatible and move on? I have tried and tried to convince myself I’m okay with being on my own, even in this marriage but I don’t really think I am.
I love this man to the ends of the earth but is that worth being by myself in practically every aspect of my life?
Any thoughts/opinions/advice would help!

Getting ready to publish a novel in the next month or two, and I've written three different blurbs so far. If anyone wants to read them, please let me know which one seems the best to you. Thanks.
1:
A remnant of humanity lives on beneath the protection of an immense dome. Bereft of history and ignorant of anything beyond the dome's confines, they inhabit an encapsulated and automated City. A vast metropolis built atop the mechanisms which ensure their survival.
All is not bliss however. Residents increasingly hear of illegal actions by those whose curiosity draws them to off-limits areas beneath the City. Police lieutenant Lewis Clay has more than lawbreakers to deal with though. His relationship with a longtime girlfriend is on the rocks, and soon falls apart.
Catherine Westall spends most days working at an orphanage, but her ordinary exterior hides a well kept secret. She’s a delver; one of those who flaunt the City’s laws in their expeditions to restricted sublevels.
When Lewis attempts to arrest Catherine for delving crimes, she narrowly escapes, hoping never to encounter him—or get caught—again. Chance spoils that. Meeting once more in social circumstances, both decide perhaps it’s possible to look past those aspects they find distasteful in the other.
Beginning a more involved, and personal, relationship, they grow closer just as conditions in the City grow bleaker. Earthquakes of unknown cause frighten the citizens, just as everything from plumbing to appliances start to lose reliability. Slowly trusting one another more, Lewis agrees to join Catherine on an expedition below the City. A journey to hunt the disturbances’ cause, and one which will place both in more danger than they’ve ever encountered before.
2:
For Catherine Westall and Lewis Clay, the dome-covered City is the only home either has ever known. They're both curious though, about why the lights on the dome's underside move from east to west over the course of each day. That curiosity is one of the few things they have in common; considering Lewis works as a police officer, and Catherine involves herself in the practice of delving. An illegal activity which takes its practitioners to forbidden areas beneath the City. She risks her safety, in part, to secure money for the orphanage she manages. Lewis—bound by his duty—tries unsuccessfully to arrest Catherine after becoming stuck with her for a time in the off-limits underbelly. Escaping, she hopes never to see him again, but he, having learned of their shared curiosity, tries to hunt down leads regarding her identity. Meeting again at a fundraiser for the orphanage, they come to realize that even with their conflicting legal views, they enjoy each other’s company. Planning to meet up again, both wonder if a friendship — or even something more — could be possible. While his goal increasingly becomes to learn more about her — even to the point of beginning delving himself — he struggles to keep their relationship from damaging his career and other friendships. She finds herself growing fonder of him, while still uncertain what secrets may be safe to share with the charismatic police officer. Both seek to deepen their relationship, but as more and more citizens blame delvers for an increase in mysterious failures around the City, they find themselves drawn into the dangerous business of trying to diagnose the problems. As inexplicable earthquakes begin to rock the City, both wonder what they’ll be able to accomplish, and whether their lives, or their home, can ever return to normal.
3:
Lewis Clay joined the City police force in hopes of helping his fellow citizens; knowing the job would bring him into contact with criminals. Even encountering delvers—those who make illegal expeditions to the City’s underbelly—wasn’t out of the question. He never expected to actually meet one though. Catherine Westall, frequent delver, never expected to meet a policeman during one of her expeditions, but there Lewis is, clearly not buying her story about getting lost. He doesn’t get her name before she escapes his botched arrest attempt, but the two do learn more about one another, including the uncommon curiosity they share. Most residents have never wondered why the City was built, or what — if anything — exists outside the dome above their heads. Catherine works at an orphanage; interested more in nurturing the children than her bank account. Indeed, the institution is chronically short of money, and her affection for the kids leads to risky profit-seeking delves. They meet again by chance; neither really looking for a relationship, but finding unlikely companionship in the other. Trust doesn’t come easy, between a law enforcer and a law breaker, but Lewis gains his own interest in delving, just as she struggles to balance career, hobby, and romance. It isn’t a simple love story however. Necessities more fundamental than law or love are always in demand, and systems providing food, water, and air all begin to falter one after another. Lewis and Catherine wish they could just enjoy their burgeoning affections, but as quakes begin to rock the City, they realize the most dangerous parts of their lives — so far — are fast approaching.

Well I'm making a post because I couldn't find one that was talking about this, maybe there just aren't many people there that have both.
I have PCOS since I was 19, I struggle for years, everything I tried didn't work even Metformin. I had to stop with yaz because I have migraines with aura and it's a contraindication. Now I'm on the progesterone only pill which apparently also doesn't work because I got a 4cm bloody cyst while on it...
And since last year I also have Hashimotos and I'm on 88 Levothyroxine. I gained a lot of weight in the period before I got the idea that I'm probably hypothyroid and got a lab. That made my PCOS worse of course. After one year on Levothyroxine I still feel like shit and not like I was before.
I'm myself finished medical school and I'm an MD so after reading a few studies I decided to start wegovy today.
However I just want more like experience from random people, maybe someone has both PCOS and is hypothyroid, did wegovy help at all? I expect a slower weight loss rate than what most people report but I'm not sure.
What I would want the most is for the PCOS to get better because of the weight loss that's my biggest expectation...
I also do try to exercise of course but many types of exercise I'm not allowed to do or do very limited because I have hEDS and my knees are already shit and I'm not even 30 and I have to be careful about my other joints as well according to my orthopedic surgeon.
So yeah I'm hoping for good results, let's see how everything turns out.

I guess I should be posting problems and complaints but instead I just want to share moments from my sugar life!
This past Friday I went out for drinks with my SD. Usually we go to upscale spots but we though it would be fun to go to a popular irish pub that he's fond of. I got "casually" dolled up and met him there. We get a corner table. The place is bustling with the post-work crowd. We're having a lot of fun.
At some point he gets up to get us another round from the bar and I go to the ladies room. When I come back a couple of guys around my age who have been eyeing me have drifted over to our table. They start chatting with me. I'm friendly but no more than that. They ask if I'm here with my boyfriend and I tell them I am. Pretty sure given our age gap they've clocked that it's a sugar sitch and they seem to think that gives them an opening.
Lol. They wish.
My SD returns with our beers, and without missing a beat, sits down, gently but firmly pulls me down so I'm sitting on his knee. Instinctively I put my arm around him. He looks up at my new friends and calmly says, "Nice to meet you fellas. Care to have a drink with us?"
They mumble something and shuffle away.

Been almost 15 months of crazy symptoms, extreme muscle soreness after minimal excursion, body wide twitching, what I’m pretty sure looks like atrophy in my left thigh, my left leg just feels so off, tremors under any weight, jaw issues, full body Fisculations and weakness….the list goes on, you name it I have it or have experienced it.
I’ve been to see 3 neuros and have been constantly monitored over the past year with check ins on my strength with the neuros assistants. I’ve had 3 EMGs, one at 8 weeks, another at 6 months then another at 1 year. All were clear, my last EMG the neuro said it’s impossible to have *** at this time. The exams were all perfect (had MRIs etc as well).
Today I just went to the gym for the first time since this all started, my left leg feels weirder every day and I get the tightest, most sore muscles after the most minimal manual labour (I pulled the weeds in my garden and the next day my hand strings were shot) I bench pressed today, Squated 140lbs and did numerous other lifts. My neuro said it could be something metabolic so I’m currently looking it this.
I guess this is all to say that I’m trying to shift my perspective, I’m 30YO, I feel like utter shit but I need to start acknowledging what people are saying to me and what I CAN do, I’ve changed my diet, started therapy and now the gym. Maybe I feel a shift soon.
Will keep everyone in the loop with how things transpire and if I get to the bottom of it.

Hi everyone,
I've been accepted into Warwick's MSc Management program starting in Fall '24. I applied a bit late, starting last month, and unfortunately got rejected by Imperial and UCL. I have a feeling that if I had applied earlier, I might have had better chances at those universities. Now, I'm torn between choosing the Warwick MiM or waiting to apply early in round 1 for MBA programs for Fall '25 intake. I'll have three years of work experience by this July, so I'm unsure if applying for an MiM next year would still be the right move.
I completed my engineering undergrad from a tier-1 university in India, but my CGPA is only 7.35. I was active in leading clubs and organizing events during college. After that, I landed a job at a Fortune 500 company, where I've been promoted and taken on some small leadership roles. Do you think I have a shot at getting into a top MBA program in the UK or the US? Also, is it a good move to accept Warwick's offer since it's not a tier-1 business school in the UK. What do you think about my job prospects after doing their MiM program?

Over the course of the past few months I’ve been working on compiling a list of my 500 favorite songs ever. I gave myself a few rules (only 5 songs per artist being the big one) and here’s what I’ve come up with. Just thought this was fun and wanted to see if this might spark any discussion about song placement or lack of certain things. Also wanted to see if anyone had any similar lists.

1. Trash Panda - Aging out of the 20th Century
2. Djo - Roddy
3. The Beatles - Don't Let Me Down
4. Snail Mail - Heat Wave
5. Phoebe Bridgers - Savior Complex
6. Joji - SLOW DANCING IN THE DARK
7. The Shins - The Fear
8. Talking Heads - This Must Be the Place (Naive Melody)
9. The Cranberries - Linger
10. Post Animal - Ralphie
11. Hop Along - Not Abel
12. The Beach Boys - Heroes And Villains
13. Electric Light Orchestra - Livin' Thing
14. The Monkees - As We Go Along
15. Blondie - Heart Of Glass
16. The Strokes - Oblivius
17. Chet Baker - It's Always You - Vocal Version
18. The Beatles - Rain
19. Electric Light Orchestra - Telephone Line
20. Husbands - Must Be a Cop
21. Faces - Ooh La La
22. The Flaming Lips - Do You Realize??
23. Frank Ocean - Nights
24. Harry James - It's Been a Long, Long Time
25. The Turtles - Happy Together
26. Etta James - At Last
27. The Zombies - The Way I Feel Inside
28. The Beatles - Here, There And Everywhere
29. The Beach Boys - God Only Knows
30. Kanye West - Father Stretch My Hands Pt. 1
31. Briston Maroney - Sinkin'
32. John Lennon - Oh My Love
33. Herb Alpert & The Tijuana Brass - Ladyfingers
34. Squirrel Flower - Headlights
35. The Backseat Lovers - Maple Syrup
36. The B-52's - Rock Lobster
37. George Harrison - All Things Must Pass
38. Snail Mail - Ben Franklin
39. Laura Elliott - Grass Stains
40. Djo - Chateau (Feel Alright)
41. Tame Impala - Eventually
42. The Backseat Lovers - Snowbank Blues
43. Claude Debussy - Clair de Lune, L. 32
44. The Weeknd - Save Your Tears
45. Talking Heads - Thank You for Sending Me an Angel
46. The Zombies - Time of the Season
47. The War On Drugs - Nothing to Find
48. Queen - Brighton Rock
49. The Dream Academy - Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want
50. The B-52's - Strobe Light
51. The Cranberries - Dreams
52. Fugees - Killing Me Softly With His Song
53. Molchat Doma - Тоска
54. Tyler, The Creator - ARE WE STILL FRIENDS?
55. The Mamas & The Papas - Dream A Little Dream Of Me
56. The Chords - Sh-Boom
57. The Beatles - The Abbey Road Medley
58. The Ronettes - Be My Baby
59. The Who - Baba O'Riley
60. Dr. Dog - Where'd All the Time Go?
61. M83 - My Tears Are Becoming A Sea
62. Billie Eilish - everything i wanted
63. Outkast - Hey Ya!
64. Nat King Cole - Orange Colored Sky
65. The Notorious B.I.G. - Hypnotize
66. Four Tops - Reach Out I'll Be There
67. Foreign Air - Shut Up and Show Me
68. Leonard Cohen - So Long, Marianne
69. dodie - If I'm Being Honest
70. Briston Maroney - June
71. Post Malone - Sunflower
72. John Lennon - Isolation
73. Buddy Holly & The Crickets - Not Fade Away
74. Phoebe Bridgers - I Know The End
75. Kanye West - All Falls Down
76. Alvvays - Adult Diversion
77. John Lennon - Beautiful Boy (Darling Boy)
78. Clairo - Amoeba
79. The Beach Boys - I Know There's An Answer
80. Paul McCartney - Let Me Roll It
81. Frank Ocean - Ivy
82. Radiohead - Motion Picture Soundtrack
83. Djo - Mutual Future (Repeat)
84. Phoebe Bridgers - Scott Street
85. Childish Gambino - Me and Your Mama
86. Pink Floyd - Astronomy Domine
87. The Pied Pipers - Dream
88. The Beach Boys - All I Wanna Do
89. Djo - Change
90. Второй этаж поражает - Крайности
91. Little Richard - Lucille
92. King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard - Shanghai
93. Chet Baker - Deep In A Dream
94. The Beatles - It's All Too Much
95. Post Animal - Dirtpicker
96. The B-52's - Love Shack
97. EDEN - foreve/over
98. Kanye West - Ultralight Beam
99. The Zombies - Going Out Of My Head
100. Talking Heads - Found a Job
101. Snail Mail - Pristine
102. Tom Tom Club - Genius of Love
103. Tears For Fears - Everybody Wants To Rule The World
104. WILLIS - I Think I Like When It Rains
105. Chet Baker - But Not For Me
106. Naked Eyes - Always Something There to Remind Me
107. Tyler, The Creator - GONE, GONE / THANK YOU
108. Djo - Half Life
109. Trash Panda - Check Please
110. Briston Maroney - Deep Sea Diver
111. Beach Fossils - This Year
112. Momma - Medicine
113. Hop Along - Prior Things
114. Talking Heads - Road to Nowhere
115. Electric Light Orchestra - Turn to Stone
116. Briston Maroney - It's Not My Fault
117. Tyler, The Creator - NEW MAGIC WAND
118. Snail Mail - Headlock
119. Phil Collins - Take Me Home
120. Gotye - Somebody That I Used To Know
121. The Beach Boys - Do It Again
122. Tame Impala - Breathe Deeper
123. Ella Fitzgerald - Misty
124. Phoebe Bridgers - Waiting Room
125. Kanye West - Runaway
126. Daft Punk - Get Lucky (feat. Pharrell Williams and Nile Rodgers)
127. Dire Straits - Money for Nothing
128. Kendrick Lamar - Alright
129. Black Country, New Road - Concorde
130. George Harrison - If Not for You
131. Harry Styles - Cherry
132. Ms. Lauryn Hill - Doo Wop (That Thing)
133. Paul McCartney - Junk
134. Wings - Maybe I'm Amazed - Live
135. Talking Heads - Houses in Motion
136. Del Water Gap - Ode to a Conversation Stuck in Your Throat
137. Pixies - Where Is My Mind?
138. Queen - Seven Seas Of Rhye
139. Paul McCartney - Jet - 2010 Remaster
140. Sufjan Stevens - Death with Dignity
141. A Flock Of Seagulls - I Ran (So Far Away)
142. Tame Impala - Let It Happen
143. Led Zeppelin - Whole Lotta Love
144. Clairo - Management
145. Tommy James & The Shondells - I Think We're Alone Now - Single Version
146. Fergie - Clumsy
147. Childish Gambino - This Is America
148. Prefab Sprout - The King of Rock 'N' Roll
149. Joy Again - Looking Out for You
150. Beach House - Space Song
151. John Lennon - Mind Games
152. The Weeknd - Gasoline
153. Weezer - Buddy Holly
154. Phoebe Bridgers - Sidelines
155. Tame Impala - New Person, Same Old Mistakes
156. Lana Del Rey - A&W
157. The Dillards - I've Just Seen a Face
158. The Doors - Break on Through (To the Other Side)
159. Julie London - I'm Glad There Is You
160. 2Pac - California Love
161. Dean Martin - Everybody Loves Somebody
162. Snail Mail - Anytime
163. The Strokes - The Adults Are Talking
164. Jordana, TV Girl - Better in the Dark
165. Juice WRLD - Hide (feat. Seezyn)
166. The Wild Reeds - Get Better
167. Finom - Mine
168. Hop Along - One That Suits Me
169. The Killers - Mr. Brightside
170. Michael Cera - Clay Pigeons
171. Clairo - Bags
172. Prince - Let's Go Crazy
173. The Zombies - She's Not There
174. Blackstreet - No Diggity
175. Frank Sinatra - I've Got You Under My Skin
176. John Denver - Take Me Home, Country Roads
177. Harry James - I'm Beginning to See The Light
178. The Clash - London Calling
179. Charles Bradley - Changes
180. Buddy Holly - (Ummmm, Oh Yeah) Dearest
181. Eagles - Seven Bridges Road - Live
182. Moxie - Honey
183. Faces - Stay with Me
184. Post Animal - How Do You Feel
185. New Order - Age of Consent
186. Natalie Imbruglia - Torn
187. Lana Del Rey - Doin' Time
188. Twin Peaks - Blue Coupe
189. Kanye West - Gold Digger
190. Fruit Bats - The Bottom of It
191. Frank Sinatra - Somethin' Stupid
192. Lorde - Perfect Places
193. Martha Tilton - Exactly Like You
194. King Crimson - 21st Century Schizoid Man
195. Glen Campbell - Southern Nights
196. Claire Rosinkranz - Frankenstein
197. Guillemots - Made-Up Lovesong #43
198. Fleetwood Mac - Say You Love Me
199. Frankie Valli - Can't Take My Eyes off You
200. The Crickets - Don't Ever Change
201. Paul Anka - Put Your Head On My Shoulder
202. George Harrison - Isn't It a Pity
203. Trash Panda - Off
204. Super Besse - Holod
205. Beyoncé - Hold Up
206. Charlie Burg - I Don't Wanna Be Okay Without You
207. Eagles - Peaceful Easy Feeling
208. Ella Fitzgerald - It's A Lovely Day Today
209. PERMSKY KRAY - Дорогой Человек
210. The Little Dippers - Forever - Single Version
211. The B-52's - There's a Moon in the Sky (Called the Moon)
212. Patti Page - Old Cape Cod
213. Daft Punk - Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger
214. The Soggy Bottom Boys - I Am A Man Of Constant Sorrow
215. Trash Panda - Things Will Never Change
216. Hop Along - Well-dressed
217. Sixpence None The Richer - Kiss Me
218. TV Girl - Daughter of a Cop
219. LAUNDRY DAY - Jane
220. Tyler, The Creator - EARFQUAKE
221. Sigue Sigue Sputnik - Love Missile F1-11
222. Joji - Gimme Love
223. The Backseat Lovers - Pool House
224. The Weeknd - Take My Breath
225. Mild High Club - Homage
226. Doc Watson - Am I Born to Die?
227. Daniel Caesar - Streetcar
228. The Kinks - Sunny Afternoon
229. John Lennon - #9 Dream
230. Tame Impala - Elephant
231. Chuck Berry - You Never Can Tell
232. Pink Floyd - Wish You Were Here
233. KIDS SEE GHOSTS - 4th Dimension
234. Soft Cell - Tainted Love
235. The B-52's - Song for a Future Generation
236. Gnarls Barkley - Crazy
237. Lana Del Rey - Blue Jeans
238. Billie Eilish - Halley's Comet
239. Glenn Miller - In the Mood
240. Kid Bloom - Control
241. The Cinematic Orchestra - To Build A Home
242. Marvin Gaye - I Heard It Through The Grapevine
243. Brenda Lee - If You Love Me (Really Love Me)
244. TV Girl - Lovers Rock
245. Art Lown - Knew You Well
246. Dean Martin - Ain't That A Kick In The Head
247. Miniature Tigers - Like or Like Like
248. Electric Light Orchestra - Sweet Talkin' Woman
249. The Hunts - Ages
250. The Cars - Good Times Roll
251. Bill Withers - Lovely Day
252. Drake - God's Plan
253. Kansas - Point of Know Return
254. The Neighbourhood - Stargazing
255. The Clash - Rock the Casbah
256. Hop Along - What the Writer Meant
257. Briston Maroney - Under My Skin
258. Jack Stauber - Buttercup
259. King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard - Ya Love
260. Ginger Root - Loretta
261. Thompson Twins - Hold Me Now
262. Frank Ocean - Pyramids
263. Kate Bush - Running Up That Hill (A Deal With God)
264. Destroy Boys - I Threw Glass at My Friend's Eyes and Now I'm on Probation
265. Mild High Club - Dionysian State
266. Franz Ferdinand - Take Me Out
267. Kevin Abstract - Empty
268. The Frights - Crust Bucket
269. Stealers Wheel - Stuck In The Middle With You
270. The Shins - Fighting in a Sack
271. fun. - We Are Young (feat. Janelle Monáe)
272. Lil Uzi Vert - Money Longer
273. Miniature Tigers - Cannibal Queen
274. The Doors - Touch Me
275. Jean Dawson - Clear Bones
276. King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard - Catching Smoke
277. Molchat Doma - Люди Надоели
278. The Go-Go's - Our Lips Are Sealed
279. Billie Eilish - ocean eyes
280. BOYO - Crown
281. The 1975 - Somebody Else
282. Husbands - She's a Betty
283. Syd Barrett - If It's In You
284. Trash Panda - Atlanta Girls
285. Frank Ocean - Godspeed
286. Alice Phoebe Lou - Glow
287. Childish Gambino - Redbone
288. New Order - Blue Monday
289. Post Animal - Schedule
290. Harry Styles - Fine Line
291. Harry James - I'll Get By (As Long As I Have You)
292. Depeche Mode - Never Let Me Down Again
293. Chet Baker - I Fall In Love Too Easily
294. The Cranberries - Put Me Down
295. John Mayer - Edge of Desire
296. George Harrison - All Those Years Ago
297. Electric Light Orchestra - The Diary of Horace Wimp
298. Alex Clare - Too Close
299. Eric B. & Rakim - Know The Ledge
300. Peter Frampton - Show Me The Way - Live
301. Simon & Garfunkel - Mrs. Robinson
302. Black Eyes - Deformative
303. The Righteous Brothers - Unchained Melody
304. Bonny Light Horseman - Deep In Love
305. The Walker Brothers - The Sun Ain't Gonna Shine Anymore
306. Cage The Elephant - Cigarette Daydreams
307. Hot Flash Heat Wave - Raindrop
308. Clairo - Sofia
309. Kendrick Lamar - PRIDE.
310. Camille Saint-Saëns - The Swan
311. Weezer - Say It Ain't So
312. C418 - Sweden
313. Lana Del Rey - Let The Light In (feat. Father John Misty)
314. The Postal Service - Such Great Heights
315. Pickin' On Series - Those to Come
316. Lana Del Rey - Grandfather please stand on the shoulders of my father while he's deep-sea fishing (feat. RIOPY)
317. John Mayer - Moving On and Getting Over
318. Field Medic - POWERFUL LOVE
319. Cage The Elephant - Flow
320. Joji - Run
321. The Who - Won't Get Fooled Again
322. Boston - Peace of Mind
323. Ben E. King - This Magic Moment
324. David Bowie - Starman
325. Beastie Boys - Sabotage
326. Harry Belafonte - Banana Boat (Day-O)
327. Gene Krupa & His Orchestra - Rhumboogie
328. The Cardigans - Lovefool
329. The Kinks - You Really Got Me
330. The Zombies - She's Coming Home
331. Michael Jackson - Thriller
332. Moxie - Blue Skies
333. The Mamas & The Papas - Straight Shooter
334. Peter, Paul and Mary - Don't Think Twice, It's All Right
335. Green Day - Brain Stew
336. Dua Lipa - Levitating (feat. DaBaby)
337. The Police - Roxanne
338. Britney Spears - Toxic
339. Tears For Fears - Head Over Heels
340. Rex Orange County - Pluto Projector
341. The Strokes - Call It Fate, Call It Karma
342. Portugal. The Man - Feel It Still
343. The Black Crowes - Twice As Hard
344. Ted Nugent - Stranglehold
345. fun. - Some Nights
346. Wings - Silly Love Songs
347. Paramore - Still into You
348. Peter Frampton - Baby, I Love Your Way - Live
349. The Monkees - Last Train to Clarksville
350. Royel Otis - Oysters In My Pocket
351. The Backseat Lovers - Growing/Dying
352. Nelly Furtado - Say It Right
353. Post Animal - Goggles
354. Erik Satie - Gymnopédie No. 1
355. Childish Gambino - IV. Sweatpants
356. Steely Dan - Dirty Work
357. ABBA - Lay All Your Love On Me
358. Still Woozy - Goodie Bag
359. Arlo Parks - Black Dog
360. Goth Babe - Weekend Friend
361. George & the Handsomes - Sleepy Beats
362. boygenius - 20
363. The Mills Brothers - You Always Hurt The One You Love
364. Travis Scott - SICKO MODE
365. Pinegrove - Need 2
366. The Backseat Lovers - Sinking Ship
367. Franz Schubert - Ave Maria, Op. 52 No. 6, D. 839 (Arr. for Soprano, Harp & Chorus)
368. Zac Brown Band - Knee Deep (feat. Jimmy Buffett)
369. Justin Timberlake - Mirrors
370. Simon & Garfunkel - Cecilia
371. The Cranberries - Zombie
372. Daniel Caesar - Japanese Denim
373. Billie Holiday - Easy Living
374. ISLAND - By Your Side
375. Phil Collins - Tomorrow Never Knows
376. Bob Dylan - The Times They Are A-Changin'
377. The Four Freshmen - Day By Day
378. Fleetwood Mac - The Chain
379. Billy Joel - Big Shot
380. Billie Eilish - Happier Than Ever
381. Yot Club - down bad
382. Rihanna - Stay
383. Fleetwood Mac - Landslide
384. Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky - Swan Lake, Op. 20, Act 2: No. 10, Scene. Moderato
385. The White Stripes - Fell In Love With a Girl
386. Alvvays - Easy On Your Own?
387. Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit - If We Were Vampires
388. Blackway - What's Up Danger (with Black Caviar)
389. Albert Hammond - It Never Rains in Southern California
390. Matt Maltese - Jupiter
391. John Denver - Mother Nature's Son
392. Childish Gambino - Sober
393. Claire Rosinkranz - Pools and Palm Trees
394. The Cars - Just What I Needed
395. The Doors - Light My Fire
396. Blondie - Tomorrow Never Knows
397. King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard - Hell's Itch
398. The Japanese House - Saw You In A Dream
399. Franz Schubert - String Quartet No. 13 in A Minor, Op. 29 No. 1, D. 804: I. Allegro ma non troppo
400. The Drifters - White Christmas
401. The 1975 - Robbers
402. George Harrison - Between The Devil And The Deep Blue Sea
403. The Frights - Tongues
404. Paramore - Ain't It Fun
405. Billy Joel - Pressure
406. Frank Sinatra - My Way
407. Art Lown - Going Back to Carolina
408. Bruno Mars - Just the Way You Are
409. Under The Rug - Lonesome & Mad
410. The Mamas & The Papas - Dedicated To The One I Love
411. Foster The People - Sit Next to Me
412. Weezer - Undone - The Sweater Song
413. Michael Jackson - Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'
414. Tia Blake - Plastic Jesus
415. Los Bravos - Bring a Little Lovin'
416. Lady Gaga - Bad Romance
417. Minnie Riperton - Les Fleurs
418. Billy Idol - Dancing with Myself
419. Cody Fry - I Hear a Symphony
420. Gringo Sapiens - Driver's Licence - 16LM mp3
421. Vacations - Relax
422. Glitter Party - time waits
423. Steve Lacy - Bad Habit
424. The Crystals - Then He Kissed Me
425. The Pied Pipers - Mairzy Doats
426. Mitski - Bug Like an Angel
427. James Ray - I've Got My Mind Set On You Pts. 1 & 2
428. Clairo - Bubble Gum
429. Masayoshi Takanaka - SEXY DANCE
430. Nat King Cole - (I Love You) For Sentimental Reasons
431. Sleigh Bells - Crown On the Ground
432. Olivia Rodrigo - favorite crime
433. No Doubt - Just A Girl
434. Foreigner - Long, Long Way from Home
435. Heart - Crazy On You
436. The Hunts - Darlin'
437. David Bowie - Heroes
438. Alice Phoebe Lou - Hammer
439. Thee Oh Sees - Toe Cutter - Thumb Buster
440. Roar - I Can't Handle Change
441. TV Girl - Birds Dont Sing
442. Laufey - From The Start
443. Chas McDevitt Skiffle Group - Freight Train (feat. Nancy Whiskey)
444. Metro Boomin - Am I Dreaming
445. Liana Flores - rises the moon
446. POP ETC - Speak Up
447. Jean Knight - Mr. Big Stuff
448. The Platters - Twilight Time
449. Derek & The Dominos - Layla
450. King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard - Homeless Man in Adidas
451. Charlie Burg - Lovesong (The Way)
452. Hot Flash Heat Wave - Gutter Girl
453. ABBA - Fernando
454. Mitski - My Love Mine All Mine
455. Savannah Conley - More Than Fine
456. Young the Giant - Mind Over Matter
457. Future Crib - Yer Movin'
458. Bob Dylan - Like a Rolling Stone
459. benches - Violent
460. Musical Youth - Pass The Dutchie
461. Olivia Rodrigo - vampire
462. Ryan Gosling, Emma Stone - City Of Stars
463. Maya Hawke - Thérèse
464. Current Joys - A Different Age
465. Wayne Newton - Danke Schoen
466. La Roux - Bulletproof
467. Jason Segel, Walter - Man Or Muppet
468. U2 - I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For
469. The Raconteurs - Steady, As She Goes
470. The Ink Spots - Into Each Life Some Rain Must Fall
471. Ace of Base - The Sign
472. Vulfpeck - 1612
473. Nordista Freeze - Hey GiGi
474. The Chainsmokers - New York City
475. Suki Waterhouse - Johanna
476. Pete Rodriguez - I Like It Like That
477. Calvin Harris - Summer
478. The Rare Occasions - Notion
479. a-ha - Take on Me
480. Rush - Working Man
481. Traffic - Dear Mr. Fantasy
482. Starbuck - Moonlight Feels Right
483. Van Halen - Drop Dead Legs
484. The Troggs - Wild Thing
485. Led Zeppelin - Good Times Bad Times
486. The Byrds - Turn! Turn! Turn! (To Everything There Is a Season)
487. Cream - Sunshine Of Your Love
488. Justin Timberlake - SexyBack (feat. Timbaland)
489. David Bowie - Suffragette City "490. Ludwig van Beethoven - Sonata No. 14 in C-Sharp Minor, Op. 27, No. 2 ""Moonlight"": I. Adagio sostenuto"
490. Avicii - Wake Me Up
491. The Who - La-La-La-Lies
492. The Spinners - The Rubberband Man
493. MGMT - Time to Pretend
494. Hootie & The Blowfish - Only Wanna Be With You
495. Sheck Wes - Mo Bamba
496. Claire Rosinkranz - 123
497. Ringo Starr - Photograph
498. The Proclaimers - I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)
499. Duran Duran - Rio

For the record, Im a junior(going on senior) in a very good school for wrestling, top 10 in a good state.
I was never a sporty kid till someone introduced me to wrestling, I joined, got my ass beat but, I stayed at it. Wasn’t able to get varsity spots for long, but wrestled some varsity in sophomore, and freshman year. All lost matches. I’m basically just, a JV warrior(don’t worry I’m not a head and arm merchant).
I’ve done this sport for 3 years now. And I don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t see myself progressing on the mat, or in my lifts.(I did have a very threatening paraspinal situation but that’s passed)
I have no idea what to do anymore. I’ve done the offseason wrestling, I’ve done the lifting. And nothings worked. And everyone my year has progressed past me, as do underclassmen. I feel left behind and left out by my team and coaches as well(multiple have made racist remarks towards me, team and coach).
Not to mention my already declining mental health, I should mention that as well. Wrestling and my preformance in it has lead me to do many acts of SH and, while driving my self esteem up, has driven me as well, into the ground.
Help

For context me and my wife have been married for 2-3 years and in the past had some crazy fights.. pretty much.. she responded physically to every altercation she didn’t agreed with(she has a difficult family history)… we talked with professionals it’s better now.. not solved though.
I’m at a point that I’m fed up with the relationship being like it is, but still try to get things to a better place. Can’t really say I’m totally in love anymore. But I like her and take care of her.
I have an important job in a European government, that I am proud and really enjoy. She ”can’t“ find a job.. so we agreed she takes care of things at home until she does.
The other day she was a little sick, and the higher ups had left work really early. I told her that, she started asking me to leave early multiple times, that she wanted to take a walk. So I told her at X hour I will leave. so I finished everything, and thought - well it’s highly improbable that I will be need now. so I risked leaving early to be with her.
I said to her that I was leaving work. I live 10m from work. So when I arrived I call her for her to leave, for us to go on said walk. She was on a call the first time, so didn’t pick up, called a second time. And told her to leave home that I was outside. When to my astonishment she says “ well I want to take a bath first” to what I said “are you kidding me? You have been asking for me to leave the whole afternoon, we agreed on the time, I risk leaving early and now you are not ready?” Then she says that I’m talking bad to her, and now she doesn’t want to go, I said no I’m not, and she hangs up the call.
I didn’t even shout or anything, just talked normal with an upset voice.
2 minutes later she calls saying I’m a brute, a monster, a beast and that I talk bad to her and that I ruin everything and it’s my fault for not going out now then immediately hangs up the call.
I was really hurt. Because I truly think I did nothing wrong to deserve that and once again Major gaslighting..
So since the car needed diesel I went to gas station. 15m later I arrived home and she had left.
I then call her… nothing..
Me being fed up.. and having another house, I went there, and stayed there. Later at night she text me “did you call?” I laughed to myself.. pissed now.. ignored the text.
so now almost for a week I left. During a call we only talk briefly about it. 0 apologies.. and now she says that me leaving is that same as asking for a divorce. And that she will not accept the situation.
Honestly I only left because I’m hurt .. and since in the past she is aggressive, from things like this.. I was afraid for my safety and for hers too. I could respond to the aggression with more aggression and I really don’t want that. I told her that..
Btw ours fights are always like this kind of stupid stuff..
Am I missing something? Please I really need an outside perspective.
Tldr: My wife asked for me to leave early from work to go on a walk, I risked it, said to her will be home in x hours. When I arrived she told me she still wanted to take a bath first.. risked leaving early for no reason…

My wife has been planning a trip to Vegas next month to meet up with her best friend since middle school. They haven't seen each other in over 5 years! The plan was for our kids to meet her kidand just hang out. Then her best friend started talking about getting drinks together. The only problem is last year her best friend suggested she cheat on me and have a three way with her and her guy. My wife did tell her I wouldn't be ok with that, not that her friend asked or was worried about that.
So I suggest I would go with to have drinks with them, but my wife is concerned about strangers watching our kids 5,9 and 11.
I told her I don't like the idea of her going out having 3 or 4 drinks, some guys sweet talks her and her friend is over there egging her on. Sounds like an awful combo
My wife is saying I'm being controlling and dramatic. That I have gone out for drinks with friends. I have a few years ago. To like a Buffalo wild wings or places like that in the past. Also never with a friend that asked me to cheat on my wide.
Also, she is saying, "you don't think I have a mind of my own? That's insulting" To me yes sober you do. But i feel like drinking and bad influences is a terrible mixture.
Then she said I can and will be going out with my girlfriend for drinks. You can be mad about it, but it's happening
How do I handle this situation. It's giving me so much anxiety.

Please don't judge me or be harsh or trolling. I can't handle it at this point in time right now.... I am just moments close to ending everything because I just can't handle it anymore. please if you judge me just keep it to yourself please..
I am on ssi and ssd getting 158 on the first and 805 on the 3rd. the ssd is after both my parents passed they put me on my dads disability drawing off what he earned working but I was originally on ssi to begin with.
I get about 963 a month total to live on. Right now I am in major debt with credit cards since covid broke out. I had to use them to live on.
I moved in with my aunt who is living in apartments based on income but they are not section 8 but they accept section 8. When i moved in, i was told by the manager i didn't need to put my income since i was a cotenant. that was 10 yrs ago. come to find out. i had to put my income now i am being sued by the housing authority for 10k, i owe two more years. my aunt and i pay 220 a month to them. they don't care what happened they just want their money.
i owe one credit card company 4.5k, another 1.8k another 600 and another 700. when i applied for them, it was 3 plus years ago. i put that i made around 700k a year when i applied to them but i was on ssdi at the time making around 11k a year. i went on the websites 3 months ago fixed the right info.
I live in a small town where nothing is available for the next 20 plus miles and have no transport. my aunt won't take me anywhere. her son who si in his late 30's lives with us and works. my aunt is on disability. I get food stamps right now worth a 130 a month which goes to my aunt even though its for me. i pay her 450 a month rent incl internet lights and 130 in food. if i don't give her the food stamps then i have to pay her another 130 a month i can't afford since all my stuff is going to her and credit cards. i legit have nothing left each month right now with having to buy myself instant mashed potatoes, oatmeal top ramen soup, noodles and spaghetti sauce. i live on that through the month.
when she buys food with the food stamps it feeds her son, me and her. but it is only enough to last a week, then for the next 3 weeks i am starving barely eating because i can't afford much when i do buy stuff that i can put in my bedroom to eat on.
past week now, there has been no food, her son has been taking his mom and him out to eat all week not bringing anything home for me. im so hungry. the nearest food bank is 4 miles away one way, but i have no way to get there my aunt won't take me they don't deliver and when i tried getting medicaid transport to take me they said they don't schedule rides except to and from the dr's.
I have no other family, I have no friends. I have no vehicle. been trying to get a minivan so I could live in it. I am sometimes bed ridden due to my bad joints/back/knees/feet/right leg nerve damage. I also struggle from morbid obesity I am around 500 lbs and funny thing is, with how little i eat. i should be losing weight but its the complete opposite.
I will be 47 yrs old when I am out of debt with the credit card companies, I tried filing bankruptcy no one will touch me being under 10k in debt with the credit card companies. i contacted legal aid, the attorney who called me back said he can't help me because its under 10k. but told me how to file but chances of me filing and getting it are slim to none esp without legal help he said.
im thinking of ending my life next month when my aunt and her son leave for a week. I just can't keep living like this. if i had a minivan I could stay in it, do door dash for extra money, I could get around trying to find an aparment based on income. I bene accepted a few times to low income places but had no way to get there and now with all the debt I wouldn't be able to afford having my own place with the credit card debt.
if i stop paying the cards, and the debt collectors come after me, they could take me to court and if they do, they could show the judge i said i made 700k a year and i didn't make that much and was on disability at the time and making only 11k a year. i found out while looking into bankruptcy that it is fraud and i could face prison time.
i just don't know what to do anymore. i really don't know what to do anymore other than ending things next month to get out of this situation i put myself in with my aunt, debt, etc. I just can't do it anymore esp without a vehicle. esp since I am bed ridden half of the day here and there due to my bad joints and weight that i have carried around for 30 yrs destroying my joints and causing nerve damage to my right leg. I can't just get up and go on the streets and live on the streets not with how badly im in pain every day esp just walking to the corner store. just a simple walk to the corner store and back and i am bed rested for an entire day barely able to move.
i can't do it anymore...

Please don't judge me or be harsh or trolling. I can't handle it at this point in time right now.... I am just moments close to ending everything because I just can't handle it anymore. please if you judge me just keep it to yourself please..
I am on ssi and ssd getting 158 on the first and 805 on the 3rd. the ssd is after both my parents passed they put me on my dads disability drawing off what he earned working but I was originally on ssi to begin with.
I get about 963 a month total to live on. Right now I am in major debt with credit cards since covid broke out. I had to use them to live on.
I moved in with my aunt who is living in apartments based on income but they are not section 8 but they accept section 8. When i moved in, i was told by the manager i didn't need to put my income since i was a cotenant. that was 10 yrs ago. come to find out. i had to put my income now i am being sued by the housing authority for 10k, i owe two more years. my aunt and i pay 220 a month to them. they don't care what happened they just want their money.
i owe one credit card company 4.5k, another 1.8k another 600 and another 700. when i applied for them, it was 3 plus years ago. i put that i made around 700k a year when i applied to them but i was on ssdi at the time making around 11k a year. i went on the websites 3 months ago fixed the right info.
I live in a small town where nothing is available for the next 20 plus miles and have no transport. my aunt won't take me anywhere. her son who si in his late 30's lives with us and works. my aunt is on disability. I get food stamps right now worth a 130 a month which goes to my aunt even though its for me. i pay her 450 a month rent incl internet lights and 130 in food. if i don't give her the food stamps then i have to pay her another 130 a month i can't afford since all my stuff is going to her and credit cards. i legit have nothing left each month right now with having to buy myself instant mashed potatoes, oatmeal top ramen soup, noodles and spaghetti sauce. i live on that through the month.
when she buys food with the food stamps it feeds her son, me and her. but it is only enough to last a week, then for the next 3 weeks i am starving barely eating because i can't afford much when i do buy stuff that i can put in my bedroom to eat on.
past week now, there has been no food, her son has been taking his mom and him out to eat all week not bringing anything home for me. im so hungry. the nearest food bank is 4 miles away one way, but i have no way to get there my aunt won't take me they don't deliver and when i tried getting medicaid transport to take me they said they don't schedule rides except to and from the dr's.
I have no other family, I have no friends. I have no vehicle. been trying to get a minivan so I could live in it. I am sometimes bed ridden due to my bad joints/back/knees/feet/right leg nerve damage. I also struggle from morbid obesity I am around 500 lbs and funny thing is, with how little i eat. i should be losing weight but its the complete opposite.
I will be 47 yrs old when I am out of debt with the credit card companies, I tried filing bankruptcy no one will touch me being under 10k in debt with the credit card companies. i contacted legal aid, the attorney who called me back said he can't help me because its under 10k. but told me how to file but chances of me filing and getting it are slim to none esp without legal help he said.
im thinking of ending my life next month when my aunt and her son leave for a week. I just can't keep living like this. if i had a minivan I could stay in it, do door dash for extra money, I could get around trying to find an aparment based on income. I bene accepted a few times to low income places but had no way to get there and now with all the debt I wouldn't be able to afford having my own place with the credit card debt.
if i stop paying the cards, and the debt collectors come after me, they could take me to court and if they do, they could show the judge i said i made 700k a year and i didn't make that much and was on disability at the time and making only 11k a year. i found out while looking into bankruptcy that it is fraud and i could face prison time.
i just don't know what to do anymore. i really don't know what to do anymore other than ending things next month to get out of this situation i put myself in with my aunt, debt, etc. I just can't do it anymore esp without a vehicle. esp since I am bed ridden half of the day here and there due to my bad joints and weight that i have carried around for 30 yrs destroying my joints and causing nerve damage to my right leg. I can't just get up and go on the streets and live on the streets not with how badly im in pain every day esp just walking to the corner store. just a simple walk to the corner store and back and i am bed rested for an entire day barely able to move.
i can't do it anymore...

Alright, so long time member of reddit since the good old days, first time posting. So this morning, while attempting to unlock a phone linked to my live in girlfriend, ended up in one of what looked like many message threads that involved what most would describe as a honeypot(not sure if this is the correct terminology) essentially what looked to me like ~10 different threads with men going back and forth flirting very sexually, with the first one finding the most explicit of the content, full nudes of her, as well as plenty of non naked pictures sent to these males, most of which I have to assume that she has indeed met in person, due to the fact that she often will disappear with my vehicle to go to the casino(she never tells me this, always excuses that she is actually not at the casino, generally lying pretty badly as I am not stupid and have been in a relationship with a frequent cheater before.) Full disclosure, it is not like I completely made a real stand against this type of thing, and in fact before at one point I was complicit and gave her a picture that I had received from a female that was essentially an ass shot with lace panties on. This fact had made me I guess just assume that the boundary was set that I would most likely not be ok with this type of thing happening with real pictures of her, although that conversation was not really ever had. So now while I am a firm believer of the fact where if you feel the need to go through your significant others phone at all, the two of you should not be together in the first place. Therefore in the multiple years we have been together (admittedly, the relationship was fairly casual at some points, and some people had referred to her as my dog watcher in the past. Even I was someone who made some comments in this vein but this was many years ago now.) Generally it would go in a cycle of becoming more serious, then her doing something such as taking the car to get groceries, but disappearing for days. This fact being a serious red flag and not to mention that I basically have PTSD from my previous ex taking my vehicle to go have sex with and seemingly short(?) relationships with other dudes, which I had most definitely disclosed to her many, many times, which was a fact that was most definitely ignored, and had zero effect on her actions. It would seem a lot of the time that when things would get more serious between us, shortly after there would be something in which I would feel as a betrayal, and once again things would become more casual. That being said, I am certainly guilty of talking to other females, such as my ex, during these times. So, all of these facts, leads me to today, where I am feeling like this should be the much needed end to a series of events filled with a lack of honesty, and a general disregard on her side for my boundaries, that I have made sure to communicate. She is of course taking the stance that since I knew that she got money from guys, that I should have basically known and put two and two together. While I had definitely kept that thought in my mind, I was basically just trying to trust her and thinking that maybe she is just really good at talking, or maybe using other girls pics like the time I gave her the pic to get money from the one guy. Now, as for physical interactions, it is up in the air as I was pretty disgusted by what I saw and didn't feel like reading every word in every thread in order to see if anything physical had actually happened. There had been a recent attempt by an old acquaintance of mine to basically come onto her in I assume his car at the casino and she said she denied him completely, and that was at least corroborated by a mutual friend that I had ask the guy in a way that he wouldn't lie. On top of all of this, she has been without a job for ~6 months now and money is very tight. The money she got from these guys has in no way been disclosed to me or shared with me, while as I am currently a full time student (wasted 7 years of my life homeless and using drugs, currently recovering addict, same as her, except when we started living together she was still using.) . I was wanting to kick her out and move on when she began disappearing with my vehicle, just due to the fact that I communicated so many times what my ex had done, and how this would affect me. Basically to this day I have to more or less physically keep the car keys from her, or else she will disappear to the casino. So, my fellow redditors, is this a dumpster fire that should have ended years ago like I truly believe, or was the fact that she had gotten money from guys in the past and I was "ok" with it (with her definitely knowing that I would never be okay with her doing anything with them, just never specifically talked about the sending of explicit pics that are actually her.) She says the pics are like 5 years old and is taking the stance that that makes it better in some way and that she has never cheated on me. Sorry about the long and complicated backstory, and we have been more or less together for 4 years now.
TL:DR Girlfriend who I knew received money from males, turns out was sending nudes and overall going way further than I know for a fact that she knew I would not be okay with this, at all, this also being proven by the fact that in a similar past situation, I gave her a picture I had received in the past of a different girl, to satiate the guy, to receive money.
Also sorry about the formatting and kind of just vomit of text, my headspace is not great right now as I have also been up all night working on homework, to then now find this all in the early morning. Thanks in advance reddit. As a user of this site since its infancy, I decided that you scholarly gentlemen would be able to diagnose this situation much better than I would. Should this be over, as I truly believe, or have I just been naive and have too high of expectations?

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May 21 –
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THE PROMPTS:

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Prompt 1

If your OC were a DND race, which race and potentially sub-race would they be?

Prompt 2

For queer OCs, what does their identity mean to/for them? Is it an important part of them, or is it just a trait they don’t even really think about? Has being queer had a significant effect on their life in any way, either positively or negatively?

And don't forget to take the time to read and comment on other people's posts! The comments, questions and chats are what make the thread so much fun.

TLDR: bla bla bla life story, my question is: How have you gone about disclosing PDA with your school or work place? I'd love to hear positive or negative experiences and whatever advice you might have.
Hey! I'm in the midst of a thorough psychiatric examination after years and years of quick diagnoses and symptom treatment. My psychiatrist just told me that I have a PDA profile (I'm not diagnosed with autism but am being examined for it). I never heard of this before but by googling I found that this is EXACTLY what my core problem is in my day to day life. First I for some reason feel inclined to share some of my life story lol for context or for the sake of my own clarity.
I'm in college/university and have two freelance jobs. With the freelance positions I finally found something that works pretty well for me job wise, I've stayed in these positions two and three years respectively. Before this I've never held on to a job for more than a few months MAX, and the one job that I had for several months was during covid when I worked from home 90% of the time. My ex girlfriend was always baffled that "every day you question whether you should leave for work/school, it's never a given" and honestly I'm baffled too, or moreso that people just get up and mindlessly leave their house, although this sounds like an absolute dream. To get to the point, in school I've always had high percentages of absence, in high school I was at about 35% when only 5% was officially allowed. I was always able to get away with it cause I'm a "high achiever" and got straight A's. But the neverending excuses made and makes me feel frankly like a lazy, dishonest piece of shit person, I don't trust myself and am paranoid that my peers talk behind my back. I never know when I'll wake up and be in what I've always just called "the pit". However on some level in high school I was able to shake it off, it's not like high school was my passion so as long as I wasn't thrown out I thought it was okay that sometimes I didn't show up. Now, the strange part is that my subject in college truly is my passion. I can not think of anything else I would like or want to do more. So I've been so frustated that I still find myself paralyzed on a random morning, or just ghosting school for weeks at a time. Anyway, while PDA isn't exactly an "explanation", it's nice to be able to collect the pieces and see a clear pattern. I though that maybe this could put an end to the excuses and lies if I disclose the profile with my school. Finally, my question is: How have you gone about this? Has anyone got positive or negative experiences to share?

This shit is terrible. I'm at my 3yr olds first school function with my ex-wife and whenever we are near one another it almost feels like nothing changed. But it really really fucking did. It's terrible seeing what could have been two supportive parents together at such a nice occasion, all these other couples together.. It blows. I left because she was miserable and treated me like shit but as the years have progressed the only thing that changes is more and more doubt. Was it being stuck together 24/7 for COVID, hormones from pregnancy, idk. It was so clear that I had to go for years. I didn't look back until my kid started to become people. Now I wish I made different choices but the problem is I think it's not real, just nostalgia, because it was bad, I was miserable, she was mean and didn't consider my needs, I didn't trust her because of the past. But we had a chance to start over with this kid and I'm not sure that's realistic but it's incredibly fucking sad to see what might have been so often. Every time we are together I want to get in the car with my wife and daughter and go home. But that home doesn't exist. I can't even tell my ex-wife because she is trying to move on with a new boyfriend and I feel that it would be selfish and disrespectful to do anything to confuse her or damage that. Though I want to. I really want to talk to her. But I can't. So now I think about what could have been, see it every time I see her, which is 4 times a week and I think about what could be if I was able to talk to her and maybe move forward again. But neither of those are real or realistic and as much as I know that it occupies my mind 24/7. I wake up with a knot in my stomach, like after a drunken night waking up in jail and you realize the nightmare is real. That you're living it and there is no going back. Hard to accept but eventually I will have to. Anyway, school functions are painful. I should be enjoying my kid but everything is just kinda sad. Is it better to not go? I don't know.

I (18F) have been dealing with several problems regarding my sleeping habits. I have a big issue with waking up in the morning and sometimes also with falling asleep at night. I only feel productive (if at all) at nighttime. I take naps in the middle of the day and when I wake up, I can't seem to "recover" from it. Sometimes when I want to wake up, I just continue sleeping, though in my head, I keep thinking abt waking up and doing my chores. It feels like torture wanting to wake up, when one's body just continues sleeping. I must say, I had been dealing with iron deficiency in the past, but not any more. Plus, I haven't been diagnosed by a real psychologist, but years ago I developed depressive tendencies, which remained to this day. I can't seem to think of any other reason. I am graduating for high school and stressed from studying for the med school entrance exam. I have been dealing with intrapersonal problems and problems regarding my inner circle. I appreciate every reply, which may help me solve this matter, thank you.