Hand job relief

byebyejob

2020.06.07 02:20 Obvious_goat byebyejob

News and other stories of people losing their job, a business, a scholarship/admission, or a similar kind of opportunity due to their actions online or in person.
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2011.04.24 01:26 Deli1181 Judge redditors based solely on a picture

Tell Redditors who you think they are based on their picture.
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2016.12.08 00:10 geekxin AWS Certifications

This subreddit focuses solely on AWS Certifications. Bring in your discussions, questions , opinions, news and comments around AWS certifications areas like prep tips, clarifications, lessons learned.
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2024.05.14 00:40 Competitive-Feed-335 How to help find someone find a job from my experience

Hi yall after what I felt like forever I was able to get a job after applying like crazy in my career field. Here’s some advice to give to people trying to help someone else find a job. I have more experience given that I’m entry level but it is tough.
  1. Dont tell them to stay positive. That’s neither helpful or effective. It’s okay to feel impending doom in this shitty job market. Minimum wage has not changed with inflation.
  2. If you have any connects in that’s field please have them contact who ever. I’m in the graphic design field and i am basically the only one in my entire family that is into the creative industry. I had got some freelance work out of that. Some connect is better then nothing
  3. Help them look on job boards but don’t just list them out. Chances are they have probably already seen them and applied. My parents when through a list and I had applied to every single one of them.
  4. Don’t try and compare your experience from 30years. If you haven’t had to find a new job post covid don’t bring it up. No you can’t call the company everyday after you apply. No you cant send them an email. No you can’t walk in and hand them a resume.
  5. Don’t say oh you’ll be able to find something. I’m not saying be pessimist but let’s have realistic expectations. You are probably not going to be able to find something like that.
  6. Don’t say I don’t think the job market is that bad and then complain about the person you personally hired. My sister recently hired an assistant manager and then expected her to fit right when in reality my sister only got the director job because her old boss quit.
  7. Please be patient & kind and keep going you’re doing great. Im very proud of everyone!
submitted by Competitive-Feed-335 to jobs [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 00:38 craftytoonlover I may be a petty jersey, but at least I got away from a "toxic" friend.

Edited: The title was supposed to say that: I may be a Petty jerk, but at least I got away from a toxic "friend. Auto correct changed it to Jersey, and I couldn't edit the actual title.
Fair Warning, this is going to be a LONG post, but I will try to dilute it as much as possible.
About 12 years ago I left the world of retail (of which I have MANY stories) to begin a career in childcare. Some people prefer different titles, Nanny, Babysitter, Parents' Helper, Childcare Provider, etc. To be honest each of those titles are suitable in different situations.
The first family that I Nannied for went on for about 4 years, and then on again off again for another year. Through this family, I met "Wendy" and her family. Wendy went out of her way to be friendly with me, and would often ask me to babysit her kids (B5 and G1).
At one point, I had moved on to working with another family for a few months. Sadly, that ended due to the parents getting a divorce, and they moved further away.
Wendy found out that I was unemployed and asked that I Nanny for her kids. She was also pregnant with her 3rd at the time. I agreed at a slightly discounted rate because we were "friends". I realized too late that that was a HUGE mistake on my part.
Wendy's live in boyfriend "Cole" also had 3 kids from a previous relationship. B15, G8, and G6 lived with their mother. Yes, am aware of the closeness in age of Wendy and Cole' B5 and his G6. I chose to keep my mouth shut.
Now prepare yourselves for the Rollercoaster of emotions I dealt with with this family.
Initially, both Wendy and Cole were employed. I would come over 5 days a week for 8 to 10 hour days, depending upon whether Wendy got home on time. Here is where my discounted rate bit me in the butt.... $300 a week was still complained about. Wendy asked that I not leave Cole alone with their kids because he basically ignored them and refused to change diapers. I felt pretty icky about that, but agreed. Now I lived 45 minutes away without traffic. I would often leave my house early in anticipation of possible traffic. If I arrived early, I wasn't allowed in until she our alloted time of 7am. I didn't have a key, and would often be left waiting on the porch an extra 15 minutes past our time. If I knew I was too early, I parked around the corner and ate breakfast. Wendy and Cole both got very irritated if I wasn't their door precisely at 7 am. It was a headache that I chose to avoid.
Over the first month, I realized that G2 was emotionally abused by Wendy. She constantly said to or in front of the child how much she hated dealing with the wild child. How she wished G2 was more well behaved like B5. She even wrote unkind things on Facebook, asking someone to take her on the weekend while I was off.
This took a toll on poor G2, obviously. She would get violent with me first thing in the mornings : Hitting, kicking, biting, pulling my hair, throwing things at me, or what ever popped into her mind. Eventually, once Wendy left for work G2 would calm down and become an absolute delight.
When B5 started school, Wendy took a new job that allowed her to work from home at times. Those were not fun days! I asked if I could bring G2 to my house where I have an outdoor play area, a playroom, plenty of kid movies, crafts, books, music, and local playgrounds. At first the car rides were torture with G2 screaming bloody murder for at least half of the 45 minute drive. When she got used to the new routine, those drives became pleasant. Her violent tendencies disappeared when we were spending the days at my home. The drawback was that I also had to drive her home in time to get B5 off the bus.
During school breaks, I also had B5, and if they were visiting G8 and G6. B15 stayed at Wendy's house and just did his own thing. If you thought G2 was torture in toddler form, these two girls would have made Nanny McPhee grow a few more moles, a hunch back, and closed feet.
B5 would get a little bored, being that he was the only boy that was understandable. I purchased an array of boy friendlier toys to entertain him. I already had a lot of girl friendly toys either purchased or gifted from the first family that I had worked with. Of course I had plenty of gender neutral items too.
Wendy and Cole didn't give 2 sh*ts and a shave if the kids watched TV all day, went out to a playground or museum, or were driven 2 hours away, as long as I got them home on time. I easily spent an entire paycheck on activities, gas, food (which they didn't pack), and toys over 2 weeks watching all 4 kids. By the by, when asked for additional money when I did have all 4, Wendy not so politely informed me that the kids are entertain each other, so my job should be easier with all 4.
My husband and I discussed a few times whether I should look for something else. Inevitably the people pleaser in me actually felt guilty even considering it. Yup, I was apparently a glutton for punishment. Gratefully, my income was just extra, for an nice meal out occasionally, gifts for birthdays and holiday, extra hobbies, and basic groceries.
Just before Wendy gave birth to their new baby, she became unemployed. Logically, one would think this was my easy out. NOPE!! I became more of a Mother's Helper / Nanny. At this point Wendy and Cole were beginning to look for a larger house to rent. I did more walk through than I can count. She even asked me to tour a couple without her, and to bring G2 and B5 so she could get her nails done and take a nap. (Seriously, I toured houses on her list without her!)
As we spent more and more time together, I began to learn FAR FAR more about her bedroom life than I could ever desire. G2 and I spent much less time in the peace of my home, and way too much in Wendy's company. G2's behavior began to deteriorate slowly, causing Wendy to lose her temper with her far too easily. This completely broke my heart. I TRIED to redirect them both, and expressed my concern to Wendy. Of course, she then turned her anger towards me.
Wendy would openly discuss her theories about Cole in front of her kids. She claimed that he was cheating on her with his ex because he would shower immediately after seeing her to pick up or drop off the kids. He often made those drives directly after work though. Maybe he was cheating, maybe not. I honestly don't know.
Wendy also enjoyed gossiping about absolutely anybody. The parents of the first family that worked with were having marital issues. This was a favorite topic of hers. Wendy told me about every unkind word her mother uttered in her direction. The apple obviously didn't fall far from the tree here. I was told lots of personal information about people I didn't know. The gossip made me very uncomfortable. I told her that I would prefer we not discuss the lives of people who weren't around to speak on their own behalf. This fell on deaf ears.
I became quite used to her disapproval of my loose fitting jeans and T-shirts. Working with kids, I found my favorite cartoon prints were just as possible with my tiny charges. I NEVER wear makeup or heels because I simply don't want to. My dresses always have leggings under them because it make me feel less vulnerable. I never wear shorts or above the knee skirts/dresses. That's a ME thing, not religious or cultural. I find my "uniform" of choice is ideal for working with kids. Wendy informed me more than once that it embarrassed her to be seen in public with me. She often insisted that I wear something of hers if we had to go anywhere.
My husband enjoys photography, particularly long exposure which is done at night. He has a lot of photography friends of both genders, but his best friend is a female. He also enjoys concerts and kayaking, often with an ex from high school. (He graduated in 1997). I trust my husband and have no problem with him spending time with his friends. Enter Wendy's whispers of accusations. She often "jokingly" accused him of cheating on me with these female friends. I don't enjoy concerts, crowds, or being out late; so I support his doing with people who do. At least I know he with someone if something happens. I have bad knees, which make getting in and out of a kayak difficult. Why should that stop him? Again, I told her that I trust him and that I don't appreciate her accusations joke or not. This annoyed her because she doesn't trust Cole.
I know these are major red flag issues. I know how toxic being subjected to these comments is. I also know how difficult it would be on their kids if I left too soon. I knew they needed someone who wasn't emotionally cruel. I stayed for them.
My husband and I spent 2 of our weekends helping them pack and move to house that ended up 15 minutes from us. We were thanked by words, but that was the extent of the gratitude. Wendy's mother looked after the kids while we helped them move. This was complained about because I was already paid to watch the kids during the week. Insert eye roll here!! Her mom felt my husband should be willing to help them move while I watched the kids on the weekend for no extra pay. Either way, we were doing them a HUGE favor to begin with.
A family that I had briefly Nannied for prior to working for Wendy asked if I could help out every other Saturday. The dad (Nice Guy) traveled a lot for work leaving the Mom (Angelface) home alone with the kids. She just needed a day to run errands, work out, and just have time to herself. Angelface is one of the kindest women on this planet. When I did Nanny for them (2 days a week), she was in tears when she had to let me go. They couldn't justify the outgoing money at the time. She referred me to several friends. I am legitimately friend with this family, and still babysit sporadically.
Through a random discussion, I told Wendy about working with Angelface on every other Saturday. She began to tell me what to charge, how many hours to work, and what days to leave open for her just in case. Insert headache inducing eyerolls!
One Friday, Wendy's cousin arrived for a weekend visit with her baby. Wendy told me that because it was a holiday weekend I would not be needed until Tuesday. I double checked via text, and she confirmed that she and Cole were taking the kids to the beach with her cousin. Monday morning I got a call from a passed off Wendy asking where I am. I reminded her that she had told me that they would not need me. I even took a screen shot of our text. She said that Cole had decided to work Monday anyway so she was alone with HER kids. This pissed me off, so I lied. I told her that I was out of town with my mom and wouldn't be home until 5 or 6 pm. She went on about how much of an inconvenience it was to her, and I should have checked before going out of town. For the second time, I sent her a screenshot of my text verifying that I wasn't needed Monday. She abruptly ended the call saying to just be sure to be on time Tuesday. I had NEVER been late, but opted to mention that as we hung up.
Over time we worked out a new arrangement where I brought now G3 to my house 2 days a week, and we stayed there 3 days a week. I helped with cleaning, errands, helped with the new baby (NB), etc. Mostly, I was Wendy's sounding board. She continued to accuse Cole of cheating, wasting money, and even beating her.
My husband and I offered to let her and the kids stay with us, but she declined. Wendy even told me that since she was so sure Cole was cheating, she was going to find herself a side boyfriend to cheat with. I tried to talk her out of it, to no avail. Sadly, she spoke openly about her new boyfriend in fron of G3. During one of her rants I learned that my pay came from him selling drugs. GULP!!
While cleaning out the couch one day, I came across a loaded gun kept in the couch console thing, along with baggies of pills, "dried plants", and white powder. This completely freaked me out. 2 small children and a soon to be crawling baby sat and played on and around that couch. I STRONGLY considered calling Child Pretective Services and the police. I quickly realized that if I did, they would know it was me. I regret it, but I feared their possible retaliation towards us.
Shortly after finding these thing Cole quit his job. For several months while I worked for them, they were both unemployed. Again, I thought it was an easy out. NOPE AGAIN! For another 3 months, they insisted that they couldn't take care of the house and kids without my help. Very often, I arrived to find now B6 fending for himself for breakfast and getting ready for school. He was told to wake up and unlock the door for me, but they went back to sleep. I was expected to keep the baby from crying, and to keep G3 quiet and entertained until they came downstairs. I often chose to simply take both to my house so we could play naturally. We had a crib, so this wasn't a problem for NB. G3 would just nap on the couch or my bed. When out of school B6 preferred this too. This really should have told Wendy and Cole something about their kids, but of course not.
FINALLY, I was informed after about a year of working for them, they could no longer justify paying me. At this point, I had often considered quitting anyway. I mainly stayed because my heart broke for the kids. However, based on her gossipy and judgmental nature ... not to mention my little 3 day weekend fail; I was concerned about what kind of reference Wendy would provide if I chose to quit.
So in 2019, I found myself happily unemployed. The timing here worked out beautifully because Angelface knew neighbors due to have their first baby in 2020. I ended up working for this lovely family until August of 2023. The mom (Joy) and the Dad (Mr. Cool) were such a relief to my entire mental and physical health. We became friends as well, and over time I told them about Wendy. Between Joy, Angelface, Mr. Cool, Nice Guy, my husband, and family I began to realize just hoe toxic Wendy really was to my mental health. My husband never liked her but understood my feelings towards the kids.
For almost a year Wendy would randomly call or FaceTime me .... more often than not while drunk. She would rave about how much she and the kids missed me. We would get together for a meal, and she had me over for a couple birthday parties for the kids. I found myself almost always being the only sober adult watching the kids as the adults partied. Wendy often went back to her gossiping, trash talking, and "jokes" about my husband spending time with women. She would offer underhanded compliments. "It's so nice to see you wearing a dress instead of those tacky T-shirts." You get the drift. She even INFORMED me that since her neighbor was pregnant I could quit my job with Joy and Mr. Cool. She had told her neighbor that I would work for her now, and since they were next door, I would watch her own kids too. I shut that down saying that I was quite happy working with Joy and Mr. Cool. I even lied about what they paid thinking it would detur her further. NOPE yet again. She said that I should quit anyway so her life would be easier with me around. Once more, I told her that wasn't going to happen.
AT LONG LAST, I am coming to the end of my tortuous endurment with Wendy.
A week later, she called and asked if I had quit yet. I said that I had no intention of leaving an "$800" a week job. (Not even close to that with my 3 day a week job, but she didn't need to know the truth.) She told me to let her know when I quit, then changed the subject towards gossiping about that first family and their problems. I told her that I don't feel comfortable gossiping about people who can't speak for themselves. That pissed her off, so she turned it on me again. She said of course I don't want to talk about them since my husband was cheating on me with 2 different women. I angrily corrected her. She has no reason to think my husband is cheating, and I trust him and our friends. Just because she thinks her boyfriend cheats, and she cheats, that doesn't mean everybody does. She then said we could talk when I calmed down and after I quit my job.
After hanging up, I proceeded to block Wendy on everything! Facebook, phone calls, texting, face timing, Instagram, and even Snapchat (which I hadn't used in over a year). I also blocked her mom, and any body that had been friendly simply because Wendy knew them and wanted me to have their information too. I gave her no warning at all. I was beyond passed off, and refused to be talked out of my very gratifying decision.
I told my husband, family, and friends that was now free of Wendy. Not a single person tried to tell me to make ammends. The only guilt that I feel is towards those poor kids. For once though, I put myself first. Joy and Angelface were both extremely supportive when I told them that I had Ghosted Wendy. Both even mentioned how proud they were of me for FINALLY truly stand-up for myself. They were NOT fans of Wendy!!!
I never ended up quitting my job with Joy and Mr. Cool inorder to babysit Wendy's neighbor. I also continued to babysit for Angelface and Nice Guy.
About 7 or 8 months ago, I ran into Wendy at a playground between our two homes. She was with now G5 and B2. I had Joy and Mr. Cool's daughter with me. I was polite, almost obscenely so. I was friendly towards the kids, who were stand off-ish. I offered to let Little Miss play with them, but they weren't interested. Little Miss wanted to do her own thing, so off we went to play. We left after only 15 minutes because Little Miss said "that lady" is scaring her.
That night, my husband got a Facebook message from Wendy. She described my cruelty towards her kids by ignoring them. She said that it was so hateful that I blocked her on everything after all she had done for us. This message went on and on. My husband left it unread for months before my morbid curiosity caused me to open the silly thing. We never responded, but instead he finally bl9cked her too.
Ok, if you read that bloody novel of a post, you are a ROCK STAR!! I don't have any regrets towards my eventual choice, except towards the kids. It breaks my heart knowing what kind of parents they are enduring. I often regret not calling CPS, but there isn't a shadow of doubt that would have retaliated .... most likely violently.
I did eventually get back in contact with that very first Nanny family. They had indeed broken up, but both are happier and healthier now. I warned them that Wendy enjoyed gossiping and spreading rumors about them. Neither were surprised, and both had broken contact with Wendy long ago. They supported my choice to break ties with her as well. Shocking, right!?!
I no longer work full time for Joy and Mr. Cool, as they wanted Little Miss to get used to being around more kids before starting school. I do still sporadically babysit for them and Angelface and Nice Guy though. The two couples have referred me to several other families in the neighborhood, so I stay pretty busy with much more sane individuals.
Maybe I was a jerk, and petty. I'm cool with being thought of that way towards Wendy. At least now, I have much kinder people in my life.
submitted by craftytoonlover to AmITheJerk [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 00:37 chuckecheese27 AITAH for exposing my former friend's abusive ex bf at work? (sorry for the long read!)

When I (23F) first started working at my job, I met my former friend (21F)(let's call her K). K and I knew each other because her training partner was in my orientation class. When we first met, she briefly complained that her ex bf (23M)(let's call him D) had followed her to our work and he got a job at our work as well.
K and I worked in the same department, different areas. When K and I got close, I told her that I got promoted and was working in another area. K told me that D was also working in the same area and to not talk about her at work. I didn't pry into what had happened between the two of them because how people mourn their broken relationships is different. I just moved along my business and just do my job per usual. I didn't officially meet him until a couple weeks later, and the first couple of instances, I treated him as I would treat any coworker and just did my job, never asked to hang out outside of work, just treated my coworkers with respect until I have a reason not to.
Then, out of nowhere, every room I had walked into and he saw me, D gave me a look of disgust with me, a snobby look, as if I was below him. D had gone so far as to exclude me from group conversations with coworkers and I didn't really know why because I never brought up K with him or with anyone. It wasn't until I told her what had happened and she was like "Yeah I told him that we knew each other because we're still talking as friends." In my mind I was like "?????" I thought it was uncalled for and unnecessary. I informed K that D intentionally excludes me out of conversations with coworkers that I was also friendly with and K told me, "If he likes you, he likes you, if he doesn't, he doesn't", but insinuating that I did something wrong, so I just decided to keep my distance from K for awhile.
I didn't like D at all at this point, not because of his association with K, but because he was the worst person to work with! He was always bitching and complaining about moving carts and complaining in front of customers about how he's tired and how he hates working, etc etc. There was a time where he was the only guy not doing anything and standing around and I politely asked him to move a cart and he threw a fit in front of customers and demanded another girl nearby to do it for him. He wasn't on any work restrictions, nothing, just didn't want to do his job. I understand not liking your job, but it's never an excuse to under perform at your job. And because of him, many others decided to throw a fit about working to the point where, I had to attend meetings about it. The times I treated him nicely, he gave me a dirty look. All the times to where I just ignored him and did my job, he also gave me a dirty look. It got so bad that management decided to announce that anyone refusing to do their job would be reprimanded, rightfully so. I was so mad about it to the point where I requested that I be demoted back to my original workplace (which I love so much) and to just call me in when necessary.
Some time passes by and K and I become really close, I don't pry into her life because tbh, I didn't have a lot of trust for her when it comes to talking about work, so I just kept it at what was going on at where I first got hired at work. K told me around August that her and D were no longer on speaking terms and that she had gone no contact because she claimed that he was abusive and narcissistic. We became very close to where we were constantly talking to each other everyday.
K was living good after cutting out D in her life. She started becoming more social and more lively, she went on vacation, she was just glowing in a way that you knew she was happy. On the other hand, based on my conversations with her, I could tell that she was struggling to come to terms with being abused by this guy. Ex: her supervisor came into my office and we were talking about how amazing K was and I told her that story, K became scared that I even had a conversation with her supervisor, but until I told her that we were talking about how amazing she was, K started to cry tears of joy.
And then things took a turn for the worse. A couple of weeks ago, K told me that she just wants to just isolate herself and that she felt lost in life. I told her that I'd be praying for her. And then, I had asked her if she wanted to come to the movies with me and a couple of my friends. K asked me who was going and I told her my friend (lets call her S) S (20F) was going to go. S and I have worked with D and S told me that she's also had issues with D, but didn't go into detail as to what happened. K immediately informed me that she and D had recently started talking again and that if she heard me or S talk about D in a negative manner, then she would tell him. I told her that my issues with D are nothing personal, my issue was that he wasn't a good employee and basically called him an inconsiderate asshat. I told her that he had the right to not like his workplace, but it gave him no right to under perform his job. K told me that she'd pass this message along and I firmly told her no because she didn't know what the new updates were and new disciplinary actions were because she didn't receive proper training at my work area and therefore not eligible.
I reminded her that it wasn't a good idea to be speaking to D again, considering that she was happy post life after D and based on what she has told me, that it was abusive. I told K that she needed to reconsider her stance on where she stood with D.
A week passes and S and our friend E (21M) decided to take an impromptu visit to our workplace to have some fun. I texted K if she was working and K told me she was. I told K that we'd be visiting mine and S's area first before visiting K and she seemed excited. While we were in line talking, S had spotted from the corner of her eye that D was working and so S and I hid behind our friend E and had E briefly talk to D in order to get serviced (basically just telling D that we were a party of 3). Once the coast was clear, S confides in me and E about her history with D. Her history with D started when D asked her to hang out a total of two times throughout the course of their friendship, but said that D had a crush on her, writing her paragraphs, but she wasn't into D because he wasn't her type, and when she told him honestly and politely, the friendship had soured, and D had resorted to degrading her.
We came to K's work area and I had introduced S and E to K. The next morning, K texted me saying how it was so nice to see my face because it was a long night and that it was so nice to meet S and E. I told K that E's birthday was coming up and so was mine and that we were talking about taking a trip to Universal Studios Hollywood. K told me that she was a huge Universal Studios enthusiast and to give her a date to go and she'll request the day off.
I made a group chat with all of us in it, to plan out our trip to Universal. S and E hit it off with K. And then a couple of days ago, when I came home from work, I noticed that K had unadded me as a friend on Snapchat. I texted her, asking if she was okay. I got a response the next morning of K texting me, "Please don't talk to me. You've really caused issues and you'll find out later." I was upset and taken aback. This is not the K that I knew. One of the rare times K and I had a disagreement, we would always talk it out like adults and then apologize to each other. K didn't explain to me as to what I did wrong. I couldn't think of what could I have done wrong. The only recent disagreement that I had with her was her speaking to D again.
After work that day, S texted me to ask if I was okay. I told her no because K abruptly ended our friendship with no explanation whatsoever. S called me because she too wanted to know the reason why. S and I came to the conclusion that because K and D were still talking to each other and that because S and D had a history, he found out that K was going to Universal with us, and in order to keep her under his control, he fed her lies about S and I, enough for her to stop talking to me. S told me that she was upset that his actions with her resulted in the demise of our friendship and I told S that it wasn't her fault that, D was scared of being exposed, so he played the victim card.
S told me she'd pull up the receipts of their conversations. The receipts she pulled up was abhorrent. It was misogynistic, sexist, manipulative, and arrogant in the worst way possible and he used religion against S as well as used many of his victim cards (race card, religion card, etc). S was also explaining to E and I many different instances of what had happened and that she felt bad for K because if he spoke this way to a friend, imagine how he spoke to K. I immediately felt so much empathy for both S and K because they had been both dragged through the mud, with D villainizing S for having a preference for another type of guy, and D villainizing K to others. So the next day, at work, with S's permission, I told majority of my colleagues that D was an inconsiderate asshat, misogynistic, and an abusive person towards people, and outright a narcissistic person while showing everyone the screenshots of his conversations with S. AITAH for exposing D to colleagues for his behavior? (sorry for the long read)
submitted by chuckecheese27 to AITAH [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 00:36 Taurus420Spirit 8 months in an anxious-avoidant attachment hell

Finally, broke away. I was anxious and he was avoidant. I feel relief and freedom. It was a healing relationship but it started to hurt. I'm not upset nor emotionally dysregulation.
This is the first time, in my life I'm proactively wanting to be single AND now the part of not being distracted.
Excited to be starting therapy again, with my original therapist too.
I always said, my 30s would be embracing single life. I'm 29 now and hope to be glowing in due time.
Good part time job and good friends. No more crying over heartbreak.
submitted by Taurus420Spirit to SingleWomenByChoice [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 00:36 AutumnFanatic 22 [M4F] #Online - Nerdy guy looking for a female interested in a genuine intimate connection

Why did the farmer visit the pharmacy? To speak with the farm-assist.
Hi and welcome to my post! Wanted to start off with a funny to me dad joke.
Nice to meet you, I'm Dylan! To put it simple, I am a single 22 year old man who has been pretty lonely in life and lacking in female connection and interaction. And part of what comes with that is the desire to be intimate with a person. I am very mature for my age and will always be respectful of your boundaries and feelings, especially with anything sexual. Lately all I have is myself when it comes to sexual desires, so I would like to have someone to keep company with in that regard too.
I'm just relaxing at work since there's nothing really going on and thinking about going home tonight and burning a woodwick candle. Perfect for when there's a storm outside. I love candles! 🕯️ Sometimes a campfire outside on a fall night or a crackling WoodWick candle is a relaxing constant among our busy and hectic world. It's nice to just disconnect, feel grounded and happy in your own little cozy space. Feeling calm and collected and at peace. Something that fewer people take the time to do these days.
I am seeking a woman around my age or older to build a close connection with that could possibly lead to a relationship and something intimate which includes the possibility of teasing/sharing pics etc. but only when we were comfortable. Figured I would be open in my Intentions as that's the best way to be.
You:
Kind, respectful, and easy going.
Comfortable with the idea of eventually sharing intimate things together.
Willing to eventually move off of Reddit.
Want something genuine and fun!
Are honest in your intentions and a good person to be around!
That's about it, we will get along great I know it.
I've been feeling a little bummed out lately. I always try and stay happy and see the best in things. But.. I've just been so alone. Most of my whole childhood and adult years have been spent feeling lonely. I grew up surrounded by cornfields which was peaceful but also has a lonely aspect to it. My family never really were close and never did anything as a family really. And part of it too is the fact that I never had any neighbors my age to interact with. But aside from that, my adult life has been very lonely. I'm just always by myself. I barely have any meaningful adult relationships or experiences, or even any friends.
I work a 3-11 job in building maintenance at my company world headquarters building which I love, but again it's very lonely. I work the off shift so the building is always empty. I don't get normal social interaction with people my age or a chance to build relationships. I only have 3 older men as co-workers and we are mostly in the basement away from any people on the floors from knowing our existence. I always walk the floors and see office people laughing and chatting with their coworkers and I just don't have that kind of experience. And just.. no one knows I exist really. Everyone probably assumes I have a lot of friends, but I'm struggling inside with being so alone and trying to meet people and get past the "hi how are you?" "I'm good thanks" stage. Most people don't seem to want to talk beyond that. And most women are already in relationships and thus it would seem weird to approach them in an office setting trying to get to know them deeper. But man those "hi how are yous" are the only real interactions I get during my day.. so thus I decided to come here lol. Rant over, sorry! I promise I'm not a downer. 😅
Now for some things about me!
As you can tell, I am very mature for my age and am polite and have good grammar which unfortunately not everyone my age does anymore lol. I am not active at all on social media/internet culture really and don't know much about all the slang the younger people these days use. I feel like I'm 50. 🤣
I am left handed which is pretty cool. I'm not much of a party person or a drinker, I much prefer a quiet night at home and maybe a beer or two on a weekend but that's about it. I am simple and stay out of drama and trouble and don't get much into politics or other things that cause drama with people. I much prefer a relaxing campfire and a night at home and to just let the world keep on turning haha. I consider myself pretty intelligent and mature, especially for my age which is why I'm open to older ladies.
Physically I'm 180 pounds, have brown hair, green eyes, and a typical build. There's a few pictures on my profile.
Some of my hobbies are:
• Photography
I have a Nikon D200 and D5500 that I love to shoot with. I love nature scenes, abstract, black and white/goth kinda photography, sunsets, etc. it's so fun to just let your mind explore. It's not about what camera you have, but those who are behind the camera! I'm gonna try and photograph the northern lights tonight!
• Cooking and baking
I loveeee to cook and bake! I enjoy making various meals but also love to just have a frozen pizza once in awhile or something like that. I recently made homemade chili which turned out great. I love to bake, especially in the fall! I love pies, cakes, pastries, cookies, etc. I restored a vintage KitchenAid mixer that needed tbe gearbox rebuilt. Eventually I would love to practice home canning my own food.
• Music
Oh my gosh, I like so much!! Alternative rock, punk, post punk, electronic, synth pop, psychedelic rock, hard rock, etc. I am very non judgemental and open when it comes to music. My three current favorite bands are Type O Negative, Joy Division, and the Cure.
• Nature walks and camping
I really enjoy camping, making fires, and relaxing by a campfire. I love to take walks outside and just enjoy the beauty and simplicity of nature. It's wonderful, especially in a world so focused on everything digital.
• Repairing things
I'm a maintenance guy and one of my hobbies is electronics repair so I am good with my hands and just all around good at troubleshooting and fixing all sorts of things around the house. Last week I helped my elderly neighbor get his tractor started, it needed a new component in the starting circuit. So I'm pretty handy which... Comes in handy! 😂
• Autumn 🍁
This isn't a hobby per say, but man do I love the fall!!! It's my absolute favorite time of the year. Oh my gosh. The beautiful colors, crisp cool air, misty and foggy days, rain, lack of bugs, being cuddled up with a candle or by the fire drinking a tea, etc. I love it! There's only two seasons for me. Fall, and waiting for fall! Haha.
• Scented Candles and incense
Going along with my love for fall, I absolutely love candles! I have like 30 something lol. 😂 Currently my favorite are WoodWick, which are owned by Yankee candle. They have such a soothing crackle and the scents are great! I also love to burn incense from time to time as well. I have cottagecore hippie vibes.
• Old houses and architecture
I love old houses! Especially 1900s and Victorian era homes. Old homes have so much character to them and are just so beautiful from a time when people took pride in their craft. I strongly dislike the modern cookie cutter cheap construction of homes today. I would love to live in an old home one day. I also love their architecture and uniqueness, as well as architecture of old cathedrals and other buildings.
• Relaxing
Basic I know, but sometimes on the weekend I just love to get cozy in bed and relax and put on a YouTube video or an album! 😊
That's about it for me, I'm a pretty laid back and simple person. My ideal person is someone who is respectful and honest! I am very straightforward and open minded and would hope that you are as well.
If I seem interesting to you at all I would love to hear from you!
Thank you so much for reading.
submitted by AutumnFanatic to r4r [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 00:33 craftytoonlover I may be the A-H and a bit petty, but at least I got away from a toxic "friend".

I may be the A-H and a bit Petty, but at least I got away from a toxic "friend".
Fair Warning, this is going to be a LONG post, but I will try to dilute it as much as possible.
About 12 years ago I left the world of retail (of which I have MANY stories) to begin a career in childcare. Some people prefer different titles, Nanny, Babysitter, Parents' Helper, Childcare Provider, etc. To be honest each of those titles are suitable in different situations.
The first family that I Nannied for went on for about 4 years, and then on again off again for another year. Through this family, I met "Wendy" and her family. Wendy went out of her way to be friendly with me, and would often ask me to babysit her kids (B5 and G1).
At one point, I had moved on to working with another family for a few months. Sadly, that ended due to the parents getting a divorce, and they moved further away.
Wendy found out that I was unemployed and asked that I Nanny for her kids. She was also pregnant with her 3rd at the time. I agreed at a slightly discounted rate because we were "friends". I realized too late that that was a HUGE mistake on my part.
Wendy's live in boyfriend "Cole" also had 3 kids from a previous relationship. B15, G8, and G6 lived with their mother. Yes, am aware of the closeness in age of Wendy and Cole' B5 and his G6. I chose to keep my mouth shut.
Now prepare yourselves for the Rollercoaster of emotions I dealt with with this family.
Initially, both Wendy and Cole were employed. I would come over 5 days a week for 8 to 10 hour days, depending upon whether Wendy got home on time. Here is where my discounted rate bit me in the butt.... $300 a week was still complained about. Wendy asked that I not leave Cole alone with their kids because he basically ignored them and refused to change diapers. I felt pretty icky about that, but agreed. Now I lived 45 minutes away without traffic. I would often leave my house early in anticipation of possible traffic. If I arrived early, I wasn't allowed in until she our alloted time of 7am. I didn't have a key, and would often be left waiting on the porch an extra 15 minutes past our time. If I knew I was too early, I parked around the corner and ate breakfast. Wendy and Cole both got very irritated if I wasn't their door precisely at 7 am. It was a headache that I chose to avoid.
Over the first month, I realized that G2 was emotionally abused by Wendy. She constantly said to or in front of the child how much she hated dealing with the wild child. How she wished G2 was more well behaved like B5. She even wrote unkind things on Facebook, asking someone to take her on the weekend while I was off.
This took a toll on poor G2, obviously. She would get violent with me first thing in the mornings : Hitting, kicking, biting, pulling my hair, throwing things at me, or what ever popped into her mind. Eventually, once Wendy left for work G2 would calm down and become an absolute delight.
When B5 started school, Wendy took a new job that allowed her to work from home at times. Those were not fun days! I asked if I could bring G2 to my house where I have an outdoor play area, a playroom, plenty of kid movies, crafts, books, music, and local playgrounds. At first the car rides were torture with G2 screaming bloody murder for at least half of the 45 minute drive. When she got used to the new routine, those drives became pleasant. Her violent tendencies disappeared when we were spending the days at my home. The drawback was that I also had to drive her home in time to get B5 off the bus.
During school breaks, I also had B5, and if they were visiting G8 and G6. B15 stayed at Wendy's house and just did his own thing. If you thought G2 was torture in toddler form, these two girls would have made Nanny McPhee grow a few more moles, a hunch back, and closed feet.
B5 would get a little bored, being that he was the only boy that was understandable. I purchased an array of boy friendlier toys to entertain him. I already had a lot of girl friendly toys either purchased or gifted from the first family that I had worked with. Of course I had plenty of gender neutral items too.
Wendy and Cole didn't give 2 sh*ts and a shave if the kids watched TV all day, went out to a playground or museum, or were driven 2 hours away, as long as I got them home on time. I easily spent an entire paycheck on activities, gas, food (which they didn't pack), and toys over 2 weeks watching all 4 kids. By the by, when asked for additional money when I did have all 4, Wendy not so politely informed me that the kids are entertain each other, so my job should be easier with all 4.
My husband and I discussed a few times whether I should look for something else. Inevitably the people pleaser in me actually felt guilty even considering it. Yup, I was apparently a glutton for punishment. Gratefully, my income was just extra, for an nice meal out occasionally, gifts for birthdays and holiday, extra hobbies, and basic groceries.
Just before Wendy gave birth to their new baby, she became unemployed. Logically, one would think this was my easy out. NOPE!! I became more of a Mother's Helper / Nanny. At this point Wendy and Cole were beginning to look for a larger house to rent. I did more walk through than I can count. She even asked me to tour a couple without her, and to bring G2 and B5 so she could get her nails done and take a nap. (Seriously, I toured houses on her list without her!)
As we spent more and more time together, I began to learn FAR FAR more about her bedroom life than I could ever desire. G2 and I spent much less time in the peace of my home, and way too much in Wendy's company. G2's behavior began to deteriorate slowly, causing Wendy to lose her temper with her far too easily. This completely broke my heart. I TRIED to redirect them both, and expressed my concern to Wendy. Of course, she then turned her anger towards me.
Wendy would openly discuss her theories about Cole in front of her kids. She claimed that he was cheating on her with his ex because he would shower immediately after seeing her to pick up or drop off the kids. He often made those drives directly after work though. Maybe he was cheating, maybe not. I honestly don't know.
Wendy also enjoyed gossiping about absolutely anybody. The parents of the first family that worked with were having marital issues. This was a favorite topic of hers. Wendy told me about every unkind word her mother uttered in her direction. The apple obviously didn't fall far from the tree here. I was told lots of personal information about people I didn't know. The gossip made me very uncomfortable. I told her that I would prefer we not discuss the lives of people who weren't around to speak on their own behalf. This fell on deaf ears.
I became quite used to her disapproval of my loose fitting jeans and T-shirts. Working with kids, I found my favorite cartoon prints were just as possible with my tiny charges. I NEVER wear makeup or heels because I simply don't want to. My dresses always have leggings under them because it make me feel less vulnerable. I never wear shorts or above the knee skirts/dresses. That's a ME thing, not religious or cultural. I find my "uniform" of choice is ideal for working with kids. Wendy informed me more than once that it embarrassed her to be seen in public with me. She often insisted that I wear something of hers if we had to go anywhere.
My husband enjoys photography, particularly long exposure which is done at night. He has a lot of photography friends of both genders, but his best friend is a female. He also enjoys concerts and kayaking, often with an ex from high school. (He graduated in 1997). I trust my husband and have no problem with him spending time with his friends. Enter Wendy's whispers of accusations. She often "jokingly" accused him of cheating on me with these female friends. I don't enjoy concerts, crowds, or being out late; so I support his doing with people who do. At least I know he with someone if something happens. I have bad knees, which make getting in and out of a kayak difficult. Why should that stop him? Again, I told her that I trust him and that I don't appreciate her accusations joke or not. This annoyed her because she doesn't trust Cole.
I know these are major red flag issues. I know how toxic being subjected to these comments is. I also know how difficult it would be on their kids if I left too soon. I knew they needed someone who wasn't emotionally cruel. I stayed for them.
My husband and I spent 2 of our weekends helping them pack and move to house that ended up 15 minutes from us. We were thanked by words, but that was the extent of the gratitude. Wendy's mother looked after the kids while we helped them move. This was complained about because I was already paid to watch the kids during the week. Insert eye roll here!! Her mom felt my husband should be willing to help them move while I watched the kids on the weekend for no extra pay. Either way, we were doing them a HUGE favor to begin with.
A family that I had briefly Nannied for prior to working for Wendy asked if I could help out every other Saturday. The dad (Nice Guy) traveled a lot for work leaving the Mom (Angelface) home alone with the kids. She just needed a day to run errands, work out, and just have time to herself. Angelface is one of the kindest women on this planet. When I did Nanny for them (2 days a week), she was in tears when she had to let me go. They couldn't justify the outgoing money at the time. She referred me to several friends. I am legitimately friend with this family, and still babysit sporadically.
Through a random discussion, I told Wendy about working with Angelface on every other Saturday. She began to tell me what to charge, how many hours to work, and what days to leave open for her just in case. Insert headache inducing eyerolls!
One Friday, Wendy's cousin arrived for a weekend visit with her baby. Wendy told me that because it was a holiday weekend I would not be needed until Tuesday. I double checked via text, and she confirmed that she and Cole were taking the kids to the beach with her cousin. Monday morning I got a call from a passed off Wendy asking where I am. I reminded her that she had told me that they would not need me. I even took a screen shot of our text. She said that Cole had decided to work Monday anyway so she was alone with HER kids. This pissed me off, so I lied. I told her that I was out of town with my mom and wouldn't be home until 5 or 6 pm. She went on about how much of an inconvenience it was to her, and I should have checked before going out of town. For the second time, I sent her a screenshot of my text verifying that I wasn't needed Monday. She abruptly ended the call saying to just be sure to be on time Tuesday. I had NEVER been late, but opted to mention that as we hung up.
Over time we worked out a new arrangement where I brought now G3 to my house 2 days a week, and we stayed there 3 days a week. I helped with cleaning, errands, helped with the new baby (NB), etc. Mostly, I was Wendy's sounding board. She continued to accuse Cole of cheating, wasting money, and even beating her.
My husband and I offered to let her and the kids stay with us, but she declined. Wendy even told me that since she was so sure Cole was cheating, she was going to find herself a side boyfriend to cheat with. I tried to talk her out of it, to no avail. Sadly, she spoke openly about her new boyfriend in fron of G3. During one of her rants I learned that my pay came from him selling drugs. GULP!!
While cleaning out the couch one day, I came across a loaded gun kept in the couch console thing, along with baggies of pills, "dried plants", and white powder. This completely freaked me out. 2 small children and a soon to be crawling baby sat and played on and around that couch. I STRONGLY considered calling Child Pretective Services and the police. I quickly realized that if I did, they would know it was me. I regret it, but I feared their possible retaliation towards us.
Shortly after finding these thing Cole quit his job. For several months while I worked for them, they were both unemployed. Again, I thought it was an easy out. NOPE AGAIN! For another 3 months, they insisted that they couldn't take care of the house and kids without my help. Very often, I arrived to find now B6 fending for himself for breakfast and getting ready for school. He was told to wake up and unlock the door for me, but they went back to sleep. I was expected to keep the baby from crying, and to keep G3 quiet and entertained until they came downstairs. I often chose to simply take both to my house so we could play naturally. We had a crib, so this wasn't a problem for NB. G3 would just nap on the couch or my bed. When out of school B6 preferred this too. This really should have told Wendy and Cole something about their kids, but of course not.
FINALLY, I was informed after about a year of working for them, they could no longer justify paying me. At this point, I had often considered quitting anyway. I mainly stayed because my heart broke for the kids. However, based on her gossipy and judgmental nature ... not to mention my little 3 day weekend fail; I was concerned about what kind of reference Wendy would provide if I chose to quit.
So in 2019, I found myself happily unemployed. The timing here worked out beautifully because Angelface knew neighbors due to have their first baby in 2020. I ended up working for this lovely family until August of 2023. The mom (Joy) and the Dad (Mr. Cool) were such a relief to my entire mental and physical health. We became friends as well, and over time I told them about Wendy. Between Joy, Angelface, Mr. Cool, Nice Guy, my husband, and family I began to realize just hoe toxic Wendy really was to my mental health. My husband never liked her but understood my feelings towards the kids.
For almost a year Wendy would randomly call or FaceTime me .... more often than not while drunk. She would rave about how much she and the kids missed me. We would get together for a meal, and she had me over for a couple birthday parties for the kids. I found myself almost always being the only sober adult watching the kids as the adults partied. Wendy often went back to her gossiping, trash talking, and "jokes" about my husband spending time with women. She would offer underhanded compliments. "It's so nice to see you wearing a dress instead of those tacky T-shirts." You get the drift. She even INFORMED me that since her neighbor was pregnant I could quit my job with Joy and Mr. Cool. She had told her neighbor that I would work for her now, and since they were next door, I would watch her own kids too. I shut that down saying that I was quite happy working with Joy and Mr. Cool. I even lied about what they paid thinking it would detur her further. NOPE yet again. She said that I should quit anyway so her life would be easier with me around. Once more, I told her that wasn't going to happen.
AT LONG LAST, I am coming to the end of my tortuous endurment with Wendy.
A week later, she called and asked if I had quit yet. I said that I had no intention of leaving an "$800" a week job. (Not even close to that with my 3 day a week job, but she didn't need to know the truth.) She told me to let her know when I quit, then changed the subject towards gossiping about that first family and their problems. I told her that I don't feel comfortable gossiping about people who can't speak for themselves. That pissed her off, so she turned it on me again. She said of course I don't want to talk about them since my husband was cheating on me with 2 different women. I angrily corrected her. She has no reason to think my husband is cheating, and I trust him and our friends. Just because she thinks her boyfriend cheats, and she cheats, that doesn't mean everybody does. She then said we could talk when I calmed down and after I quit my job.
After hanging up, I proceeded to block Wendy on everything! Facebook, phone calls, texting, face timing, Instagram, and even Snapchat (which I hadn't used in over a year). I also blocked her mom, and any body that had been friendly simply because Wendy knew them and wanted me to have their information too. I gave her no warning at all. I was beyond passed off, and refused to be talked out of my very gratifying decision.
I told my husband, family, and friends that was now free of Wendy. Not a single person tried to tell me to make ammends. The only guilt that I feel is towards those poor kids. For once though, I put myself first. Joy and Angelface were both extremely supportive when I told them that I had Ghosted Wendy. Both even mentioned how proud they were of me for FINALLY truly stand-up for myself. They were NOT fans of Wendy!!!
I never ended up quitting my job with Joy and Mr. Cool inorder to babysit Wendy's neighbor. I also continued to babysit for Angelface and Nice Guy.
About 7 or 8 months ago, I ran into Wendy at a playground between our two homes. She was with now G5 and B2. I had Joy and Mr. Cool's daughter with me. I was polite, almost obscenely so. I was friendly towards the kids, who were stand off-ish. I offered to let Little Miss play with them, but they weren't interested. Little Miss wanted to do her own thing, so off we went to play. We left after only 15 minutes because Little Miss said "that lady" is scaring her.
That night, my husband got a Facebook message from Wendy. She described my cruelty towards her kids by ignoring them. She said that it was so hateful that I blocked her on everything after all she had done for us. This message went on and on. My husband left it unread for months before my morbid curiosity caused me to open the silly thing. We never responded, but instead he finally bl9cked her too.
Ok, if you read that bloody novel of a post, you are a ROCK STAR!! I don't have any regrets towards my eventual choice, except towards the kids. It breaks my heart knowing what kind of parents they are enduring. I often regret not calling CPS, but there isn't a shadow of doubt that would have retaliated .... most likely violently.
I did eventually get back in contact with that very first Nanny family. They had indeed broken up, but both are happier and healthier now. I warned them that Wendy enjoyed gossiping and spreading rumors about them. Neither were surprised, and both had broken contact with Wendy long ago. They supported my choice to break ties with her as well. Shocking, right!?!
I no longer work full time for Joy and Mr. Cool, as they wanted Little Miss to get used to being around more kids before starting school. I do still sporadically babysit for them and Angelface and Nice Guy though. The two couples have referred me to several other families in the neighborhood, so I stay pretty busy with much more sane individuals.
Maybe I was an A-Hole, and petty. I'm cool with being thought of that way towards Wendy. At least now, I have much kinder people in my life.
submitted by craftytoonlover to CharlotteDobreYouTube [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 00:32 shaneka69 Get A Tarot Reading Today! ALL READINGS SENT SAME DAY THEY ARE BOOKED

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2024.05.14 00:31 Defiant_Bat_3377 Keeping in touch with old friends

I'm in my 50's and although I do have some friends, I have many people in my past that I've tried to keep in touch with that aren't interested in keeping a relationship with me. At least that's how it feels.
I'm wondering if others experience this and how they process it if so. I feel like it's often been my fault, I've done something, or even worse they just don't think I'm worth the effort. I try to keep it in perspective but I'm always happy to hear from old friends and only have one person that I avoid contact with for very legitimate reasons.
I also feel like I didn't live like others. I have no children by choice, I worked very low income jobs up until more recently and feel like my lack of wealth may also play a factor since I lost a lot of friends when I was finishing college and super broke (once I couldn't go to bars or out much, I was disregarded).I'm content with how my life has gone but I wonder if it makes me an undesirable acquaintance.
Or are most people just talking to a handful of people from their past?
submitted by Defiant_Bat_3377 to AutismInWomen [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 00:31 Rubicon2020 I keep bombing interviews

Been a desktop support for nearly 4 years. I quit my job due to a mental breakdown and am regretting that completely and no I don’t tell interviewers that. But I’ve had what seemed to be great interviews and then I get the rejection email. Today I had what seemed like a nuke was set off in my interview like it couldn’t have gone any worse. I feel exceptionally horrible and that I’m expecting the rejection email by Friday. I have one interview left tomorrow if I don’t get that one I have no idea of what I’m going to do. I have bills coming due I don’t have a savings didn’t make enough. And had to do several home fixes that depleted my savings. I’m freaking tf out now.
I’ve submitted somewhere around 75 applications and only a handful of interviews. I even went back to my last boss to try and get my job back explain to him I had a mental break and just snapped due to having a bipolar manic episode. He told me had I come to him the week before he’d have gladly taken me back, but they had just offered the position to a new person and they accepted the offer. He told me use him as a reference he’d never give me a bad reference which is nice to hear. He kept praising my skills and dedication to the job. But it still ended with me quitting and coming off a bipolar manic episode and realizing I done fk’d up.
I just bought my dream Wrangler in December I’m so nervous it’s going to get repoed. I talked to the finance company had I made 6 payments they could’ve pushed it 3 months but I’ve only made 4. So I’m screwed.
Then, found out my(f) girlfriend well thought was my girlfriend had started dating a dude. After a long distance thing she moved back and well that made my mental health even worse because I dearly love her. I was about to try and rekindle the relationship now that she’s back locally and of course get another job to be told “oh I’m dating a guy”.
I’m about to be off all my meds within the month and I’m freaking out about that as they literally keep me sane. I can’t go without life is hell for me and anyone around me including my ex gf and my husband. I can’t control my words, thoughts, actions without my anti psychotic meds. So ya I’m freaking tf out. My husband almost divorced me over not being medicated it was an ultimatum for me getting on meds. It’s not pretty.
I’ve been added to a prayer list at a church. I’ve asked friends to please keep me in their thoughts and prayers. Hell, half of them remember me prior to meds and are like omg dude what are you going to do? Fuck idk.
submitted by Rubicon2020 to offmychest [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 00:31 zedadex I feel sick.

Thinking of how long it's been. Thinking you might've gotten to this point where you could've needed me, and just swallowed down the feelings, held fast against it. Gods, I'm so sorry for what I might've put you through.
It's not for the okay-how-are-you days... it's for days like this I'd want to be there for you.

They tried keeping me around. (In just about the worst way possible...)
I'm probably gonna make it permanent. Frick this gilded cage. :/
I know.
I shouldn't need you. I shouldn't need you. It's not a need; it's a want. I can live without you. I just don't want to.
:sigh:
It's days like this, when it feels like I'm against the world again, that I wish you were with me. When the stress gets to that ah-god-why-can-I-feel-it-in-my-brain point. When I literally need a break and they won't give it to me.
When I can count the number of people in my corner on one hand, and the number's dangerously close to just the one, myself.
It's for days like this where I'd want to know the lowest it could go was two. Us. Where I could ask if you have a minute, hug you close, tell you everything that was going on.
I'm so, so sorry I wasn't that for you. For all I know... You needed me to be.
If you said the word I'd fly there this moment, stand right there at the airport and be your giant oversized teddy bear for a while. Validate your reality. Acknowledge, no arguing, no what-if'ing, just agreement, acceptance, love. Then you could go, unhindered by me; I'd turn right around and get on a flight back. And that'd be that, if you wanted. (If you think I'm nuts, or kidding: fräulein, you never met Beil, my role model for crazy plans. 😃)
But I'm not gonna let it get to me.
I'm not going to let them break me. I'll die before that happens, and I'm not planning on dying anytime soon.
(Because before that is Operation Flight; and even before thaaat is Operation Phoenix. And that one I was saving if things got dire after I messaged you.)
I very nearly pulled Phoenix today, just earlier. So much of me believes it's not you out there, writing to me. Every time someone asks me about why I'm still thinking about you, if anything's changed; and I'm forced to explain why I still have hope even though 'yeah technically we stopped talking', but... :/
I'm insane, I know.
I wanted to be a little bit saner with you. And I feel like I could be.
I won't pull away from you. No matter how much I fear, no matter how much it hurts, I'll stay strong through all this crap. I'll keep to the plan.
Even if there's a naught-point-one percent chance you're waiting... That's enough. Trying costs me nothing. Hope costs me nothing. It keeps me going.
Belief, faith. I believe in the person I think you are. I have faith that you felt something for me too.
And I'll trust my heart to you one more time, and reach out to you. Tell you it's okay. The truth; that normally I reject people who reject me, but I read about what you're going through, and all I feel is the need and desire to accept you, no matter what, not just because that's what you might need, but because it's who and what I want to be in your world. Your warmth, your light-that's-actually-a-mirror. Your rock.
I'm sticking with you. They're a different story; but I'll hold on to hope with you, another day.
(A job's just a job, after all. That one was getting pretty boring, anyway. :P)
submitted by zedadex to u/zedadex [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 00:31 ChristSwag Does it make sense to be HSW or M7 w/ Scholarship or bust in my situation?

Current Situation:
Pros: - 28M - fully remote technical consulting job - $190k (Base, Bonus, Stock) - Low travel (5-10x per year) - Ridiculous WLB, 20 hours per week max
Cons: - Low/No growth, boomer company, not even sure what the next level is - Low confidence in lateraling to another similar paying job - Bored and unfulfilled
I would be going to an MBA to expedite retirement through increased earnings, prestige, social life, and change careers to something enjoyable.
My current thought process is that I have a good job already, and I am not an incredibly strong candidate for PM or VC (0 interest in IB/consulting). Further, the opportunity cost would wreck havoc on my early retirement plans. I figure at current savings rate I could fully retire in 10 years or so.
On the other hand, I’m scared of being laid off and not being able to find like employment, and an MBA is a good way to protect against this.
submitted by ChristSwag to MBA [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 00:30 KatiMinecraf Help a Landscaping Woman Out

I (32F) am a landscaper - but in my job, that also includes hardscaping (paver sidewalks, flagstone patios, river rock pool-surrounds, etc.), so much more than plants and dirt. Over time, even with gloves, it has really been tearing my hands up.
So, I ask you wonderful people - do any of you have any tips on how I can keep my hands pretty and smooth, but not so soft that flagstone edges slash my hands apart and everything hurts?
As of right now, I shower after work and then apply Goldbond Healing lotion that helped my husband's extremely dry hands, but that is as far as it goes. I'm just in a weird place where I want soft, moisturized hands, yet I worry there's a point where I can go too far and just make my job harder.
submitted by KatiMinecraf to 30PlusSkinCare [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 00:29 craftytoonlover I may be the A-H and a bit Petty, but at least I got away from a toxic "friend".

Fair Warning, this is going to be a LONG post, but I will try to dilute it as much as possible.
About 12 years ago I left the world of retail (of which I have MANY stories) to begin a career in childcare. Some people prefer different titles, Nanny, Babysitter, Parents' Helper, Childcare Provider, etc. To be honest each of those titles are suitable in different situations.
The first family that I Nannied for went on for about 4 years, and then on again off again for another year. Through this family, I met "Wendy" and her family. Wendy went out of her way to be friendly with me, and would often ask me to babysit her kids (B5 and G1).
At one point, I had moved on to working with another family for a few months. Sadly, that ended due to the parents getting a divorce, and they moved further away.
Wendy found out that I was unemployed and asked that I Nanny for her kids. She was also pregnant with her 3rd at the time. I agreed at a slightly discounted rate because we were "friends". I realized too late that that was a HUGE mistake on my part.
Wendy's live in boyfriend "Cole" also had 3 kids from a previous relationship. B15, G8, and G6 lived with their mother. Yes, am aware of the closeness in age of Wendy and Cole' B5 and his G6. I chose to keep my mouth shut.
Now prepare yourselves for the Rollercoaster of emotions I dealt with with this family.
Initially, both Wendy and Cole were employed. I would come over 5 days a week for 8 to 10 hour days, depending upon whether Wendy got home on time. Here is where my discounted rate bit me in the butt.... $300 a week was still complained about. Wendy asked that I not leave Cole alone with their kids because he basically ignored them and refused to change diapers. I felt pretty icky about that, but agreed. Now I lived 45 minutes away without traffic. I would often leave my house early in anticipation of possible traffic. If I arrived early, I wasn't allowed in until she our alloted time of 7am. I didn't have a key, and would often be left waiting on the porch an extra 15 minutes past our time. If I knew I was too early, I parked around the corner and ate breakfast. Wendy and Cole both got very irritated if I wasn't their door precisely at 7 am. It was a headache that I chose to avoid.
Over the first month, I realized that G2 was emotionally abused by Wendy. She constantly said to or in front of the child how much she hated dealing with the wild child. How she wished G2 was more well behaved like B5. She even wrote unkind things on Facebook, asking someone to take her on the weekend while I was off.
This took a toll on poor G2, obviously. She would get violent with me first thing in the mornings : Hitting, kicking, biting, pulling my hair, throwing things at me, or what ever popped into her mind. Eventually, once Wendy left for work G2 would calm down and become an absolute delight.
When B5 started school, Wendy took a new job that allowed her to work from home at times. Those were not fun days! I asked if I could bring G2 to my house where I have an outdoor play area, a playroom, plenty of kid movies, crafts, books, music, and local playgrounds. At first the car rides were torture with G2 screaming bloody murder for at least half of the 45 minute drive. When she got used to the new routine, those drives became pleasant. Her violent tendencies disappeared when we were spending the days at my home. The drawback was that I also had to drive her home in time to get B5 off the bus.
During school breaks, I also had B5, and if they were visiting G8 and G6. B15 stayed at Wendy's house and just did his own thing. If you thought G2 was torture in toddler form, these two girls would have made Nanny McPhee grow a few more moles, a hunch back, and closed feet.
B5 would get a little bored, being that he was the only boy that was understandable. I purchased an array of boy friendlier toys to entertain him. I already had a lot of girl friendly toys either purchased or gifted from the first family that I had worked with. Of course I had plenty of gender neutral items too.
Wendy and Cole didn't give 2 sh*ts and a shave if the kids watched TV all day, went out to a playground or museum, or were driven 2 hours away, as long as I got them home on time. I easily spent an entire paycheck on activities, gas, food (which they didn't pack), and toys over 2 weeks watching all 4 kids. By the by, when asked for additional money when I did have all 4, Wendy not so politely informed me that the kids are entertain each other, so my job should be easier with all 4.
My husband and I discussed a few times whether I should look for something else. Inevitably the people pleaser in me actually felt guilty even considering it. Yup, I was apparently a glutton for punishment. Gratefully, my income was just extra, for an nice meal out occasionally, gifts for birthdays and holiday, extra hobbies, and basic groceries.
Just before Wendy gave birth to their new baby, she became unemployed. Logically, one would think this was my easy out. NOPE!! I became more of a Mother's Helper / Nanny. At this point Wendy and Cole were beginning to look for a larger house to rent. I did more walk through than I can count. She even asked me to tour a couple without her, and to bring G2 and B5 so she could get her nails done and take a nap. (Seriously, I toured houses on her list without her!)
As we spent more and more time together, I began to learn FAR FAR more about her bedroom life than I could ever desire. G2 and I spent much less time in the peace of my home, and way too much in Wendy's company. G2's behavior began to deteriorate slowly, causing Wendy to lose her temper with her far too easily. This completely broke my heart. I TRIED to redirect them both, and expressed my concern to Wendy. Of course, she then turned her anger towards me.
Wendy would openly discuss her theories about Cole in front of her kids. She claimed that he was cheating on her with his ex because he would shower immediately after seeing her to pick up or drop off the kids. He often made those drives directly after work though. Maybe he was cheating, maybe not. I honestly don't know.
Wendy also enjoyed gossiping about absolutely anybody. The parents of the first family that worked with were having marital issues. This was a favorite topic of hers. Wendy told me about every unkind word her mother uttered in her direction. The apple obviously didn't fall far from the tree here. I was told lots of personal information about people I didn't know. The gossip made me very uncomfortable. I told her that I would prefer we not discuss the lives of people who weren't around to speak on their own behalf. This fell on deaf ears.
I became quite used to her disapproval of my loose fitting jeans and T-shirts. Working with kids, I found my favorite cartoon prints were just as possible with my tiny charges. I NEVER wear makeup or heels because I simply don't want to. My dresses always have leggings under them because it make me feel less vulnerable. I never wear shorts or above the knee skirts/dresses. That's a ME thing, not religious or cultural. I find my "uniform" of choice is ideal for working with kids. Wendy informed me more than once that it embarrassed her to be seen in public with me. She often insisted that I wear something of hers if we had to go anywhere.
My husband enjoys photography, particularly long exposure which is done at night. He has a lot of photography friends of both genders, but his best friend is a female. He also enjoys concerts and kayaking, often with an ex from high school. (He graduated in 1997). I trust my husband and have no problem with him spending time with his friends. Enter Wendy's whispers of accusations. She often "jokingly" accused him of cheating on me with these female friends. I don't enjoy concerts, crowds, or being out late; so I support his doing with people who do. At least I know he with someone if something happens. I have bad knees, which make getting in and out of a kayak difficult. Why should that stop him? Again, I told her that I trust him and that I don't appreciate her accusations joke or not. This annoyed her because she doesn't trust Cole.
I know these are major red flag issues. I know how toxic being subjected to these comments is. I also know how difficult it would be on their kids if I left too soon. I knew they needed someone who wasn't emotionally cruel. I stayed for them.
My husband and I spent 2 of our weekends helping them pack and move to house that ended up 15 minutes from us. We were thanked by words, but that was the extent of the gratitude. Wendy's mother looked after the kids while we helped them move. This was complained about because I was already paid to watch the kids during the week. Insert eye roll here!! Her mom felt my husband should be willing to help them move while I watched the kids on the weekend for no extra pay. Either way, we were doing them a HUGE favor to begin with.
A family that I had briefly Nannied for prior to working for Wendy asked if I could help out every other Saturday. The dad (Nice Guy) traveled a lot for work leaving the Mom (Angelface) home alone with the kids. She just needed a day to run errands, work out, and just have time to herself. Angelface is one of the kindest women on this planet. When I did Nanny for them (2 days a week), she was in tears when she had to let me go. They couldn't justify the outgoing money at the time. She referred me to several friends. I am legitimately friend with this family, and still babysit sporadically.
Through a random discussion, I told Wendy about working with Angelface on every other Saturday. She began to tell me what to charge, how many hours to work, and what days to leave open for her just in case. Insert headache inducing eyerolls!
One Friday, Wendy's cousin arrived for a weekend visit with her baby. Wendy told me that because it was a holiday weekend I would not be needed until Tuesday. I double checked via text, and she confirmed that she and Cole were taking the kids to the beach with her cousin. Monday morning I got a call from a passed off Wendy asking where I am. I reminded her that she had told me that they would not need me. I even took a screen shot of our text. She said that Cole had decided to work Monday anyway so she was alone with HER kids. This pissed me off, so I lied. I told her that I was out of town with my mom and wouldn't be home until 5 or 6 pm. She went on about how much of an inconvenience it was to her, and I should have checked before going out of town. For the second time, I sent her a screenshot of my text verifying that I wasn't needed Monday. She abruptly ended the call saying to just be sure to be on time Tuesday. I had NEVER been late, but opted to mention that as we hung up.
Over time we worked out a new arrangement where I brought now G3 to my house 2 days a week, and we stayed there 3 days a week. I helped with cleaning, errands, helped with the new baby (NB), etc. Mostly, I was Wendy's sounding board. She continued to accuse Cole of cheating, wasting money, and even beating her.
My husband and I offered to let her and the kids stay with us, but she declined. Wendy even told me that since she was so sure Cole was cheating, she was going to find herself a side boyfriend to cheat with. I tried to talk her out of it, to no avail. Sadly, she spoke openly about her new boyfriend in fron of G3. During one of her rants I learned that my pay came from him selling drugs. GULP!!
While cleaning out the couch one day, I came across a loaded gun kept in the couch console thing, along with baggies of pills, "dried plants", and white powder. This completely freaked me out. 2 small children and a soon to be crawling baby sat and played on and around that couch. I STRONGLY considered calling Child Pretective Services and the police. I quickly realized that if I did, they would know it was me. I regret it, but I feared their possible retaliation towards us.
Shortly after finding these thing Cole quit his job. For several months while I worked for them, they were both unemployed. Again, I thought it was an easy out. NOPE AGAIN! For another 3 months, they insisted that they couldn't take care of the house and kids without my help. Very often, I arrived to find now B6 fending for himself for breakfast and getting ready for school. He was told to wake up and unlock the door for me, but they went back to sleep. I was expected to keep the baby from crying, and to keep G3 quiet and entertained until they came downstairs. I often chose to simply take both to my house so we could play naturally. We had a crib, so this wasn't a problem for NB. G3 would just nap on the couch or my bed. When out of school B6 preferred this too. This really should have told Wendy and Cole something about their kids, but of course not.
FINALLY, I was informed after about a year of working for them, they could no longer justify paying me. At this point, I had often considered quitting anyway. I mainly stayed because my heart broke for the kids. However, based on her gossipy and judgmental nature ... not to mention my little 3 day weekend fail; I was concerned about what kind of reference Wendy would provide if I chose to quit.
So in 2019, I found myself happily unemployed. The timing here worked out beautifully because Angelface knew neighbors due to have their first baby in 2020. I ended up working for this lovely family until August of 2023. The mom (Joy) and the Dad (Mr. Cool) were such a relief to my entire mental and physical health. We became friends as well, and over time I told them about Wendy. Between Joy, Angelface, Mr. Cool, Nice Guy, my husband, and family I began to realize just hoe toxic Wendy really was to my mental health. My husband never liked her but understood my feelings towards the kids.
For almost a year Wendy would randomly call or FaceTime me .... more often than not while drunk. She would rave about how much she and the kids missed me. We would get together for a meal, and she had me over for a couple birthday parties for the kids. I found myself almost always being the only sober adult watching the kids as the adults partied. Wendy often went back to her gossiping, trash talking, and "jokes" about my husband spending time with women. She would offer underhanded compliments. "It's so nice to see you wearing a dress instead of those tacky T-shirts." You get the drift. She even INFORMED me that since her neighbor was pregnant I could quit my job with Joy and Mr. Cool. She had told her neighbor that I would work for her now, and since they were next door, I would watch her own kids too. I shut that down saying that I was quite happy working with Joy and Mr. Cool. I even lied about what they paid thinking it would detur her further. NOPE yet again. She said that I should quit anyway so her life would be easier with me around. Once more, I told her that wasn't going to happen.
AT LONG LAST, I am coming to the end of my tortuous endurment with Wendy.
A week later, she called and asked if I had quit yet. I said that I had no intention of leaving an "$800" a week job. (Not even close to that with my 3 day a week job, but she didn't need to know the truth.) She told me to let her know when I quit, then changed the subject towards gossiping about that first family and their problems. I told her that I don't feel comfortable gossiping about people who can't speak for themselves. That pissed her off, so she turned it on me again. She said of course I don't want to talk about them since my husband was cheating on me with 2 different women. I angrily corrected her. She has no reason to think my husband is cheating, and I trust him and our friends. Just because she thinks her boyfriend cheats, and she cheats, that doesn't mean everybody does. She then said we could talk when I calmed down and after I quit my job.
After hanging up, I proceeded to block Wendy on everything! Facebook, phone calls, texting, face timing, Instagram, and even Snapchat (which I hadn't used in over a year). I also blocked her mom, and any body that had been friendly simply because Wendy knew them and wanted me to have their information too. I gave her no warning at all. I was beyond passed off, and refused to be talked out of my very gratifying decision.
I told my husband, family, and friends that was now free of Wendy. Not a single person tried to tell me to make ammends. The only guilt that I feel is towards those poor kids. For once though, I put myself first. Joy and Angelface were both extremely supportive when I told them that I had Ghosted Wendy. Both even mentioned how proud they were of me for FINALLY truly stand-up for myself. They were NOT fans of Wendy!!!
I never ended up quitting my job with Joy and Mr. Cool inorder to babysit Wendy's neighbor. I also continued to babysit for Angelface and Nice Guy.
About 7 or 8 months ago, I ran into Wendy at a playground between our two homes. She was with now G5 and B2. I had Joy and Mr. Cool's daughter with me. I was polite, almost obscenely so. I was friendly towards the kids, who were stand off-ish. I offered to let Little Miss play with them, but they weren't interested. Little Miss wanted to do her own thing, so off we went to play. We left after only 15 minutes because Little Miss said "that lady" is scaring her.
That night, my husband got a Facebook message from Wendy. She described my cruelty towards her kids by ignoring them. She said that it was so hateful that I blocked her on everything after all she had done for us. This message went on and on. My husband left it unread for months before my morbid curiosity caused me to open the silly thing. We never responded, but instead he finally bl9cked her too.
Ok, if you read that bloody novel of a post, you are a ROCK STAR!! I don't have any regrets towards my eventual choice, except towards the kids. It breaks my heart knowing what kind of parents they are enduring. I often regret not calling CPS, but there isn't a shadow of doubt that would have retaliated .... most likely violently.
I did eventually get back in contact with that very first Nanny family. They had indeed broken up, but both are happier and healthier now. I warned them that Wendy enjoyed gossiping and spreading rumors about them. Neither were surprised, and both had broken contact with Wendy long ago. They supported my choice to break ties with her as well. Shocking, right!?!
I no longer work full time for Joy and Mr. Cool, as they wanted Little Miss to get used to being around more kids before starting school. I do still sporadically babysit for them and Angelface and Nice Guy though. The two couples have referred me to several other families in the neighborhood, so I stay pretty busy with much more sane individuals.
Maybe I was an A-Hole, and petty. I'm cool with being thought of that way towards Wendy. At least now, I have much kinder people in my life.
submitted by craftytoonlover to ProRevenge [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 00:28 Gryphon66-Pt2 So, can we have a discussion about what “serious-minded” means?

Because I can be very serious about my wild-ass speculations at times.
I joke a bit but not entirely.
I wonder why this subreddit isn’t getting more attention. When I found out about it, I figured that half of bigfoot would have heaved a huge sigh of relief and joined in.
I mean, I like the simplicity of the Rules section. “No woo. No skeptics.”
That cuts out most of the contentious BS right there.
I have a bit of a harder time with the material because I’m not a first-hand witness. I live my life by a set of rules that causes me to deny just about anything I can’t either see/heasmell or at least experience directly. That said, I tend to “White Knight” on behalf of the folks who do woo, as well as anti-“Skeptic” crusading.
I cannot understand how a relict human or other member of genus Homo or highly-evolved descendant of Paranthropus or Gigantopiticus are so absolutely perfect in their stealth and hiding.
I know all the arguments, because I regularly make them myself. but try as I might, I can’t account for 1) the reality of their existence and 2) their ability to stay 100% undiscovered.
Of course, I mean no disrespect to anyone with this post.
submitted by Gryphon66-Pt2 to SasquatchActual [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 00:25 Illustrious_Hour_766 idk how i should feel at this point. my friend got a job that i would say i’m more qualified for.

So, a little background information. I’m currently in grade 10 and my friend is in grade 9. We both have the exact certifications (Bronze Medallion & Cross, plus Standard First Aid), and i am taking a WSI course this weekend, and she is not. i don’t mean to bring anyone down or hurt her feelings, but i would argue that I am more qualified than her because i did better is every course we took together (getting height points).
In January, I dropped off my resume at our community pool (we only have one in our city since it’s so small), and have not received any calls despite my strong resume and cover letter, with over 2 years experience at a restaurant and over 150 volunteer hours. My friend on the other hand, did not hand in any resume, has no work/volunteer experience, and is a couple of months younger than me.
She got the job as a lifeguard that i applied for today. i just don’t get why that is. i think it’s very unfair and it might be because of her connections at the pool, where her mom used to work, as well as her sister and brother. look-wise, i would say i am uglier than her and i just can’t find a real reason why they would hire her (keeping in mind she did not hand in a resume) over me, who is older, has more experience, did better in the courses to be a lifeguard and handed in my resume in january, when she just plain asked to manager about a week ago, and got the job today.
i just don’t really know how to feel about this. i love my friend, but i really wanted this job and it feels like everything is being taken away from me, just because of her looks and connections. it’s just not fair. I’m just crying a lot right now and i’m not sure what to do.
submitted by Illustrious_Hour_766 to careeradvice [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 00:24 tamarheylin Tips and tricks on teaching general shop know-how and handiness? In charge of woodshop interns I need to get up to speed!

I manage a art/design college's student wood and metal shop space. Every semester, I get handed 1-3 student workers, while the hiring process "technically" isn't random- they do apply for the position- it might as well be. It's a toss-up whether I get shop-savvy furniture designers or VERY green students that just needed to fulfill a requirement. Right now, I have an especially clueless bunch, bless their hearts, and I need to get them up to speed for everyone's sake.
On the job, these students are charged with generally patrolling for safety in the shop space. They also are expected to be able to answer common questions, do simple machine setups, and help other students that come in with project-specific issues. Additionally, we expect that they do some shop improvement projects, as well as use the space to complete projects for their portfolio.
TLDR: I'm looking for some community support regarding getting very very green shop workers up to speed- teaching what we would think of as "common sense", tips on safety, using tools, shop problem solving, etc.
I have more knowledge about this stuff than these workers even need, but teaching them common sense on the job, while also attending to others students and expecting my workers to do the same has proven fairly difficult.
EDIT: To clarify, the hiring process is totally out of my hands. I'd change it if I could. Also, I'm taking the shop over from its previous manager, so I have very little pre-existing training material to go off of- the previous manager fully just thew these kids to the wolves
submitted by tamarheylin to woodworking [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 00:23 TheGentlemanBirb I broke my own friend group from actions I have done.

TLDR; I ruined my friend group and am left alone by asking a friend out for nudes, overreacting by attempting suicide, and ruining another friends birthday. I just need some relief, even if that relief comes with harsh advice and opinions. Currently seeing a therapist.
Sorry for the long post.
So just as the title says, I ruined my own friend group due to my own actions and choices. So to start, I had a friend of mine (Alias: Sarah, not real name) that was coming over to visit in my location. We were friends for 8+ years along with another group of friends. We were all pretty close to each other, and she was just visiting to catch up since it's been a while since she saw any of us.
Back in highschool, I had a huge crush on her that never came to fruition. To the point where she was all I could think about even though I know it's unhealthy and I needed to be able to move on. So I moved schools to try and clear my head of her, and she moved back to her home town. We managed to stay in touch in spite of that, and I fortunately moved on from her.
In present day, we did our usual thing of hanging out and chilling within the friend group for about 1 month. Another friend of mine in the group (Alias: Steven) had his birthday coming up in February and Sarah was extremely excited since back in highschool, they were relatively close and she wanted to plan a whole birthday party for him. It was an exciting time coming up. Or at least it should have been. I started to develop feelings for her again, unknowingly at the time.
Later, Sarah invited me to discuss plans for his birthday since she didn't really keep in touch with him since he was always busy. After a while, we decided to play a game and chat. During that chat, I admitted to liking her and did something deplorable and asked her for nudes. I don't know why I did it, I have no prior history of doing this, and I thought that I had gotten over her. I have no excuse either. I also said this while also knowing that she recently dumped her boyfriend when she came over here to my location. Again, I feel ashamed. Surprisingly, she continued playing with me and didn't say anything about it. But I could tell she was uncomfortable as we continued to talk.
A day later, we had a chat about how I made her uncomfortable and how she was both surprised and disappointed in me when I said what I said. She still wanted to hang out with the friend group so, we all hung out a week later and tried to act like nothing happened as we still prepared for Stevens birthday. Though it was obvious to everyone that me and her had a bit of a strained relationship. Making the whole trip uncomfortable. I probably would have declined going if I wasn't the designated driver and was the only one who owned a car at the time.
I messaged her later, and she messaged back that it might be best that she separated herself from the group. Initially I managed to keep my cool and messaged her that I respected her boundaries. Though outside of that text, I was breaking down. It didn't make sense to me since I wanted to respect her boundaries and I understood why she needed to step away. A couple of days later, I couldn't handle my emotions and overreacted and messaged the whole friend group and Sarah that I was gonna kill myself. And spent a week in the psychward before being released.
Of course, my friends were concerned and reached out to me, hoping I was ok, especially since I had a history of suicide attempts. I acted immaturely and shut myself in my house. 2 months later, I messaged Sarah first. Not my other close friends, but Sarah. And asked how she was doing. After a bit of time, of trying to reach her, I asked if she still wanted to be friends even if our relationship wasn't going to be the same. Understandably, she stated that she would be uncomfortable with that and wanted to maintain her boundaries. I didn't lash out on her or anything like that, but I did ask if there was any way for her to forgive. She said she didn't hate me and genuinely wishes that I get better. I simply said my condolences and thank you. But I was still breaking.
I immediately messaged another person in the friend group (Kyle) and he tried his best to comfort me, saying things like "You'll need to start accepting yourself" and "It'll be hard and may take months to years, but you gotta hold on." I lashed out on him despite him trying his best to give me advice and what not. I didn't even apologize to him until a week later. Though, I assume the damage has been done and our contact lessened since then. Including the whole friend group. Honestly, I should have apologized to the whole friend for my actions. Especially Steven since he had his birthday ruined from a suicide attempt and no party. But the damage was already done.
I regret every bit of what happened, and for the past few months since then, it's been eating me alive. I've stayed unemployed and lived off my savings. I can barely even find the motivation to even try to find a job. I'm currently seeing a therapist for this since I lost my friend group, and I started to harm myself since the whole incident. I'm not really looking for justification since I know I was in the wrong. I wouldn't accept it anyway if anyone said otherwise. But part of me wants relief, even if it comes from strangers from the internet.
I'm having a hard time forgiving myself for the whole thing. I even had the gall to message my former friend group again this month if they wanted to hang out. I got ghosted of course or simply said they were busy. Made me question if I should even be associated with anyone if I could cause relationships to break up this badly. I know the best course of action should be that I should reach out to new people to take my mind off things, but I can barely find the motivation to try. Plus since I'm not working, I can't really afford to head out. This whole post is just me beating myself up (Literally and metaphorically), which doesn't help, but I'm for sure a dumbass. And I'm just trying to recover. I became a complete shut in for the past few months and it's not healthy nor mature. But I'm at a loss of what to do. My therapist is more so trying to figure out the history behind why I acted the way I did, since my childhood has been trauma free for the most part. I honestly feel like it's the end of the world, even though I know it's not and I could just treat this as a lesson.
submitted by TheGentlemanBirb to lonely [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 00:23 SvenExChao Rude druid gets booted (and how to not make their mistakes)

Hey all, I finally had my first reddit worthy experience; it might not be hall of fame horror but it’s packed with lesson to be learned.
Our table in question is an all adult (late 20s to mid 30s) respectfully rated R “friends only” crew. This is the story of how someone went from being in our wedding party to kicked out of our adventuring party.
Our crew: Myself, first time DM with a management day job. My spouse, Fighter, who’s a brand new player. Another married couple: Land Druid and Wizard, who generally host the game. Wizard and Land Druid have a kid who's great and only relevant for context on some of the bad behavior later. And finally our star of the hour, a Moon Druid problem player I'll be referring to as Rude Druid.
The story begins before Fighter and I were married and I had gotten into playing at a virtual 5e table with some work colleagues during the quaren-times. Once we all got our "go outside pass" I decided to try my hand at running a table. Fighter and I were not yet living together and we'd made a friend through an app who definitely had some "quirks" but was a fun hang and we had a lot of shared interests, one of which being tabletop. The three of us had discussed getting a 5e game rolling if we could fill out a party and Rude Druid previously was a "forever DM" so was excited to get into the player seat even though it would mean commuting about an hour to attend. Fighter met and made friends with land druid and then we all met at a “yard games and hang” party some time later where I and Wizard shared their interest in tabletop and boom-bam-pow a campaign is born. Various members of the group have various neural divergences as well as histories of (lets politely say) big bad events in their past that made a thorough session zero a must. We all agreed on where our lines and veils were and months of happy dice rolling ensue without issue.
Along the way there were some yellow flags:
Since two players were playing druids and crowd control (CC) became a major mechanic, the DM invested in some gridded combat tools and put significant effort into making CC a fun and valuable part of combat and would mix in “smart” enemies and “dumb” ones to allow for the druids to have their awesome moments but not completely take over every combat. Rude Druid constantly tried to break the grid rules of their AOE spells and even got in an open argument with DM who insisted they adhere to the published rules. One such disagreement ending with the classic Rude Druid: “I’d allow it at my table”DM: “We’re not at your table, we’re at my table and we’re following the grid combat rules”That should have been the end of that right? Would you believe the DM had to call out the player for attempting to break AOE rules several more times? Rude druid also used wild shape to access an area unavailable to the rest of the party, which was fine until they then went on to refuse to rejoin the rest of the party and insisted on their own little side adventure. They even refused the party directly asking the player to come back so they could play as well. Eventually the DM said “We’ll now cut back to the party, you may rejoin whenever you feel like it” and had to remind the player about the “don’t split the party” agreement discussed in session 0. Sadly the yellow flags turned crimson and led to some major boundary crossing. While DM had offered their guest room to the druid for nights they didn’t want to drive home, the expectations got out of hand. They first switched from driving to taking public transport, which was their prerogative, but then expected rides too and from the transit station during working hours. The fighter took care of the driving for a while because they worked a later shift and the two were friends. But then the schedule expanded to needed to be taken for food, expecting to go rock-climbing every time, etc etc and the DM’s “you can crash here and head out whenever” turned into an expectation of a 24 hour commitment of the Fighter being the druid’s personal entertainer and driver. Fighter actually left the game for a short time to deal with life stuff and druid tried to guilt other members into taking over the extra driving, which we all refused. Rude druid is also the most disgusting eater that I’ve ever experienced in my life and both I and another member of the party have misophonia which we’d brought up multiple times making it clear “this is extremely unpleasant for us. Please get it under control”. The sound effects got so bad the hosts had to resort to BANNING snacks from DND night because it was impossible for 2 of us to participate in the game. I promise you, it was so bad you’d have done the same.In the midst of all this DM and Fighter got married, navigated some difficult decisions on housing, moved in together, and now DM no longer had a spare room to offer. Shortly after moving in fighter had two major illnesses that included multiple trips to the hospital and the DM made it clear that the offer of a spare room was no longer on the table for obvious reasons. We all expected the druid to control their alcohol consumption and drive themselves home after the sessions. Rude druid instead invited themselves to crash at the host couple’s house and forced an extremely uncomfortable “that’s not okay, we don’t really do that”. It’s at this point that I’ll remind you that the host couple has a kid and I’ll roll the clock back to a point in time when rude druid quit their job. While telling the story included details that used explicitly violent language. We assumed it was probably hyperbole, but several of us have experienced violence in a way that makes us very not okay with what they were saying. We expressed that sentiment at the time making it clear none of us were ok of threats of violence, even if they weren’t genuine. Rude druid went on to reiterate their anger several more times at various different sessions and to this date I don’t they would have done anything violent but it was WAY over the line and NOT the kind of person you welcome into your home with a young kid. Yet they still seemed completely shocked when trying to stay over at their house was met with a hard no. And finally came the day that we all had enough and the decision was made not to invite them back. Two members of the party were in the final semester of advanced degrees on top of their full time jobs and made it known that they needed to pause the game until after finals because they didn’t have the time or mental energy to commit to the game. The DM and other player immediately understood, wished them the best, and agreed to shelf the game until after graduation. Rude druid did everything in their power to guilt them into continuing to play stating that it would be “good for their mental health” despite this player being the exact opposite of who you’d want mental health advice from. Around this same time the entire crew also attended the DMs birthday party where Rude Druid tried pressuring DM and Fighter to stay while over imbibing in various substances legal in the state this story occurs. This player had to have a pipe physically taken out of their hands and told “you have to drive home, sober up” after repeatedly helping themselves to another attendees scoobie snacks and being an outright jerk to a number of other people in attendance. We had to do a bit of an apology tour with other good friends who were rightly pissed off at various drunken selfish antics and promised that they’d never have to deal with rude druid again.
Our collective limits had been reached, all the other party members got together and unanimously agreed to 86 the player from all of our lives. I wish rude druid the best and I truly hope they can learn to ever consider anyone other than themself, but I for one will not be there to see it.
Happy ending: the players all graduated with flying colors, the game is back on, and rude druid’s character has technically become an NPC that’s “over there” but honestly won’t ever come up again. The game lives on and the rest of us are still good friends with a newly raised bar for what it takes to sit at our table.
As promised, here’s a few easy rules to live by so that you won’t ever experience rude druid’s fall from grace.
submitted by SvenExChao to rpghorrorstories [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 00:20 maydaybutton [Hiring] - Need AI Image specialist to help build prompts for Stable Diffusion based models to obtain specific output themes/results

Looking to hire ASAP!
Budget: $10-30/hr or $30-60 per theme (prompt).
I need someone who can help with building out custom prompts for AI image generation of people using a stable diffusion face reference workflow (photomaker). Model is publicly available on Replicate.com serverless (cost is pennies when run) or can be installed locally if preferred from github, should you have adequate hardware to support it.
I will provide you with custom themes/preferred output styles (ex: Person smiling riding roller coaster; person looking at artwork in a museum; person as a royal subject in countryside, etc.). Your job will be to come up with a set of positive/negative prompts, and setting configurations (steps, style strength, and guidance) to provide me with appropriate output results that fit my given theme/descriptors that also match up with input face likeness for the majority of images. Must be 100% extra SFW (no bikinis, cleavage, shirtless, etc).
Once I approve a given direction, to finalize a theme, you'll run through a handful of iterations, testing 4-6 different male/female faces to determine if a single theme works for all/most faces without adjusting the prompt settings in-between (with the exception of a male/female prompt guide word).
These output images should be saved/sorted in my shared Gdrive or Dropbox folder using the theme style name, with a subfolder for male output images and female output images, along with a notebook with the prompts and settings used to achieve each theme.
Theming must be done using either one of the below photomaker models - (may be open to custom models and custom build out at a later point for more control).
https://replicate.com/tencentarc/photomaker
https://replicate.com/tencentarc/photomaker-style
If you are interested in applying, please send DM me a portfolio of work, or an example of a SFW AI image you generated of a person, and the prompts/settings you used. Let me know if you have a set hourly rate, or prefer to work on a fixed rate per theme/prompt. Include the keyword "replicate" so I know you read this post.
submitted by maydaybutton to forhire [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 00:19 UpDownLeftRightABLoL Need family court and parenting time advise

I am in a very unique situation regarding an ex-girlfriend with who I have an 8 year old with and I would like to be in my daughter's life, but my ex-girlfriend has pretty much kept me out of her life for pretty much her entire life.
To begin with, my ex-girlfriend had lied about being married, so when the kid was to be born, her husband had signed the birth certificate and the states department for child services did not take my concerns seriously at the start. DCS has been involved for multiple reasons from domestic violence to the husband being absent. Soon after the birth, my ex-girlfriend had fled the state with our daughter and has pretty much been moving around every six months, she recently reached out to me to ask if I would be interested in connecting with my daughter, I agreed and it started off pretty well for a week, and my ex-girlfriend initially was very open to reconciling, but apparently also had another man on the side for the last 6 years, as well as others who also involved domestic violence. Our relationship has pretty much deteriorated when I mentioned to her that I was going to seek some legal advice to find out the steps we should take to have me officially be my daughter's father, such as a DNA test. The husband she had was not the father, as she has informed me through a family court case where she sought child-support from him, this has caused there to be some child support in arrears. Even when we were together, she eventually became abusive towards me, but she was also secretly using several drugs and has since been sober for the last two years. The breakup and subsequent events and past trauma had affected me greatly and I turned to drinking, I have been sober for two years at this point as well. I just want to have some parenting time, as my drinking has caused me to get DUIs and I am currently without a license, so I agree that keeping her with her mother for things such as getting to school. I have helped my ex-girlfriend financially to aquire a new place to live closer to our daughter's school and have paid her rent to give her some stability, as my ex-girlfriend does not have a regular job, but has recently started a booth vending at local events which I have helped her file the paperwork to be legitimate. I've helped her with some other financial shortcomings, such as coming up with money to let our daughter go on a school camping trip and my ex-girlfriend even took me along, but my daughter just believes I am a friend of her mom and I was introduced as such to other parents. After this trip is when I told her I was going to seek legal counsel, which I have an appointment for Wednesday and that is when she has pretty much decided I am unfit to be a parent. The relationship between me and my daughter is mainly one of just fun and activities for the last 3 months, we get along very well and I don't talk bad about her mother. Besides her mother, my daughter has said I'm her favorite, she shares her interests with me and she is always giving me hugs and asking me for help with her activities. The reason I am seeking legal advice is that my ex-girlfriend has constantly been coming up with reasons to not introduce me as the father, the plans we initially made were kind of tossed aside and I am mainly just looking to figure out a framework and plans we can both follow. My ex-girlfriend has told me she won't compromise with me, that I am unfit due to having gone through depression after she left (She had drained my bank account and taken all of my furniture and other things when she left, and her constantly moving made any recovery impossible so I had to start over essentially with nothing). Now after the trip, she's saying things to try and I guess bully me out of my daughter's life, she's made insinuating statements that I am a pedophile (My hand touched our daughter's thigh) and I am emotionally unstable and violent, but those couldn't be further from the truth. I guess I am asking if anyone has any advice for what I should be asking the legal counsel I am going to see, as it will be a 45 minute meeting and I want to be as prepared as I can be for it. I am trying to do this without having courts involved, but it is starting to seem inevitable as the mother has become uncooperative and won't have an adult discussion about the topic of coparenting. She says she is already providing the best and I would just be taking our daughter away, even though I've been pretty clear that I don't want to do that, I just want to be in my daughter's life and am willing to compromise. The mother has said that she believes the courts won't grant me anything until the child support in arrears is paid and she has also said that she has found an adoptive father for our daughter (the supposed 6 year relationship) , but she also said that they had broken up just this last weekend. So, is there any advice for this situation, it's really all over the place and sometimes I don't even know where one lie ends and another begins. I'll answer any questions and give background information to the best of my ability.
submitted by UpDownLeftRightABLoL to legaladvice [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 00:18 lindstropicalsno Hiring and Training the Best Employees for Your Shave Ice Business

When it comes to running a successful shave ice or snow cone business, having a solid team is just as crucial as having a top-notch product. Today, we’re delving into the insights provided by some of the highest-performing shave ice businesses in the United States. These top sellers have honed their expertise in building a team that’s not only skilled but also genuinely enhances their business’s community presence. Here’s a comprehensive look at their approach to hiring and training, packed with actionable tips for fellow business owners, especially those just starting a shave ice business or looking to enhance their snow cone business plan.
Tips for Hiring the Best!
1. Customer-focused hires: The interview process is key to discovering why candidates want to join their team. Look for individuals who are genuinely customer-oriented—a critical trait since employees significantly influence customer retention and satisfaction in the profitable shave ice business arena. As one owner noted, their team’s ability to make customers feel valued is often what they hear praised in the community.
2. Avoiding Overstaffing: Understanding the ebb and flow of business across seasons helps in planning the number of hires. These owners have learned from experience to start small and scale up if needed, which mitigates the risk of overstaffing and underutilizing employees, a situation that can lead to dissatisfaction and high turnover rates in the mobile shave ice business.
3. Pre-Hiring Meeting: The most effective owners host a pre-hiring meeting with candidates and their parents, which helps set clear expectations from the start and ensures parents are onboard with the responsibilities of their kids.
4. Setting Clear Expectations: The job descriptions are clear about the roles and responsibilities, which include operating shave ice machines and engaging positively with customers. This clarity helps in attracting the right fit for their business needs and is crucial for those exploring shave ice franchise opportunities.
Creating a Place to Stay and a Place to Grow
1. Recognition and Rewards: Acknowledging hard work and providing incentives such as pay raises and gift cards are practices that the best owners use to motivate and retain staff. They also emphasize the importance of having fun at work, which enhances team spirit, important in fostering a positive environment.
2. Fostering Responsibility: By encouraging team members to handle their scheduling requests responsibly, they cultivate a sense of ownership and maturity among the staff, which translates into more reliable service for customers.
3. Comprehensive Onboarding: New hires undergo a detailed training process, including hands-on practice with the equipment and customer service scenarios. This ensures that each team member is well-prepared before the season begins, enhancing their confidence and capability in handling snow cone syrups and shave ice flavors efficiently.
4. Promoting Product Knowledge: Provide extensive training on the various flavors, toppings, and customization options available to customers. Encourage employees to sample different combinations of flavors to become familiar with the product offerings and make informed recommendations to customers.
5. Emphasizing Upselling Techniques: Train employees on effective upselling techniques to increase average order value, such as suggesting additional toppings, flavor combinations, or larger serving sizes. Provide scripts or role-playing exercises to help employees confidently upsell without appearing pushy or aggressive.
6. Continuous Learning: Regular feedback and ongoing training sessions are part of their strategy to keep the team well-informed and adept at handling various situations. This not only helps in maintaining high standards but also fosters a learning environment, crucial for managing a shave ice seasonal business.
7. Scheduling and Management Tools: Great owners utilize tools like Homebase or When I Work for scheduling and communication, which simplifies managing their team and keeps everyone aligned.
8. Implementing Feedback Mechanisms: Encourage employees to share their insights and suggestions for enhancing operations and customer satisfaction. This helps employees feel apart of the business in a way that encourages them.
9. Social Media and Marketing Training: Educate employees on the importance of social media in promoting the business and engaging with customers online. Provide training on how to create visually appealing shave ice presentations for social media posts and encourage employees to share their experiences and interact with customers on platforms like Instagram and Facebook.
Conclusion: Building a Winning Team for Your Shave Ice Venture
By focusing on strategic hiring, comprehensive training, and fostering a supportive and enjoyable work environment, you can build a team that not only performs well but also significantly contributes to the business’s success. Implement these best practices to create a vibrant, efficient team that will keep your customers coming back season after season.
check out tropical sno for more fun shave ice info
submitted by lindstropicalsno to u/lindstropicalsno [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 00:17 sunshinelove77 parents divorce

So growing up my parents would argue a lot and fight about money, etc. We also moved a lot across the country, mostly my dad would get laid off his job and then my mom would find a job where he moved to (different provinces). Then when I was 12, they were stable enough and bought a house. Then after two years he ended up getting laid off his role. I was just starting high school. Then he found a job in another province, he moved and my mom decided not to. I went to school and we barely talked. Our relationship was always not good tbh, but at that point I grew up. Then he got laid off again when I was 15, came back to live here. He would work odd jobs but at least tell us all he is making no money. I started working part-time and summer jobs. Then I got a full ride scholarship for university in another city. So I moved out, I would come back in the summer. Again, my parents would argue all the time, he would never pay for me or my brothers stuff. My brother also got a full ride in another province so we both were gone. Even moving and doing everything, my mom, brother and I did it alone. He had extra bed frames that I took and he secretly tried to charge my mom extra electricity fee cuz the bed frames I took cost $200. Last summer I was working full time and a part time job. I had asked my mom if I should buy my own groceries but she told me absolutely not, she is happy to provide food. Anyways, my parents decided to split groceries while I was living there. One day after work I was eating chips (also keep in mind I’m 90 pounds 5’5 so tiny) and he snatched them out of my hand, telling me to stop eating and using up all the food. I then told him I’m happy to give him $5 for the chips but I’m really hungry and haven’t ate all day cuz work was so busy. Then he was like “if you know how expensive everything is then why are you going back on a trip to India.”I then said I haven’t seen my grandparents since I was 12 and I’m now 21 so it’s important to see them as they are old. He said it doesn’t matter. Which is when I cried and called my mom. Also just saying but I/my mom can financially afford the trip, he just can’t cuz he doesn’t work.
Anyways, my mom decided that she was sick of this and wants a divorce. But she had a big family trip to India (not including him) planned end of year. I moved out again for my final year of uni. She told him officially in January that she wants a divorce. He proceeded to bully her, called her dad in India everyday, had his family FaceTime me and my brother accusing us that we are causing a divorce, would constantly text me and my brother. Because I’m looking for jobs (post grad) and didn’t want to pay rent, I moved back in this past month. My mom is tryna settle the divorce. But he is awful, because he doesn’t have a job still (keep in mind I graduated high school & university, worked all the summers while he is unemployed). He asked my brother to co-sign for a place or he won’t leave or sign the papers. He has no friends or anyone who would help him out. What do we do?? My mom can’t afford all the legal fees. My mom and him own their house so 50/50. I really need guidance. He is evil, narcissistic and a horrible person.
submitted by sunshinelove77 to Divorce [link] [comments]


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