This is my first time posting on Reddit and I'm doing so now because I could really use support and perspective.
I've recently had a "falling out" with two of my closest friends who I've known separately for over a decade; I had also introduced them to each other and to many people in our pre-COVID community. Here are the facts of the recent events:

• I started seeing my partner (love of my life) 2.5 years ago. My partner is very friendly and kind and was excited to meet my friends. I noticed that my friend Claire was stand-offish about my relationship from the get-go, which I inquired about and she said it was because she was still recovering from her own breakup (from an emotionally abusive relationship).
• A couple of months after I met my now partner, I asked my roommate and good friend Gill to move out with 2 months notice. Context here: I invited her to move into my small 2-bedroom apartment about a year into COVID and she said she'd only stay a few months while she planned her move to another nearby city. She passively pushed the timeline back a few times (ie "as you can see, I haven't moved out yet, I think it'll be a few more months") which I was happy about at first because I enjoyed her company...until she started working from home full-time (which I already did) and also began struggling with mental health issues. So, I set the 2-month timeline. The rest of the story is that she flipped out after this conversation, left for a trip to visit family the next day, sent me a long angry email about how I've displaced her (a working professional and therapist) and that she found a place in the new city and would move out in 2 weeks. I kept my distance from her those two weeks and sent her an email saying that my intentions were not to hurt her, that I cared about her, and that I wanted to repair the relationship once she was ready; she sent a positive reply back. Then I never hear from her again and meanwhile heard from others that she was having a hard time "because of what I did to her".
• Fast forward a few months and I notice that Claire and my other close friend Jen - both of whom considered me a close/best friend and were not that close to my roommate - start actively avoiding me. They both stopped responding to my group messages and were "too busy" to hang out or jump on a call; but if I reached out to each of them directly, their respective texts are all friendly with lots of emojis. I even left a birthday present for Jen at her place (because she was too busy to see me) and she didn't acknowledge receiving it, just ignored my text message asking how she liked it.
• I definitely noticed this sudden change in behavior in both of them but I didn't know how to ask about it; their behavior felt punitive in some way and I felt scared to face it head on...for over a year. Until this week.
• Claire lives 2 blocks from me and I saw her heading my way the other evening - I was the only one outside - and she put her head down and "didn't see" me. I was floored. I got home and wrote her a text saying that it hurt to feel that she was actively avoiding me. She responded by saying that she "felt us growing apart", that she "didn't like how I treated close friends of ours", and that instead of having an "inflammatory conversation" she'd chosen to "love and support me from afar". Floored again. This one felt crushing. More context for you: I care deeply for people in my life and live my values of treating people kindly, empathetically, and with good communication. This text from my "close friend" absolutely shocked me. I responded with confusion and curiousity as to why she didn't talk to me about whatever it was she heard/witnessed, and also stated that suddenly disappearing form my life was niether loving nor supportive. My only assumption is that it has to do with Gill but I have no idea. All she said in response was in short "Thank you for speaking your truth <3 I wish you wonderful things." 💩
• Then I reached out to Jen. Jen has always seemed like a direct communicator, and she also is a high anxiety person. So this whole time, I assumed she might actually have been busy with work and life, and/or dealing with anxiety. I texted to say I was checking in because I hadn't heard from her in a long time and wasn't sure why - busy or did something happen?" She responded 24 hours later (last night) and gave me the same spiel as Claire "growing apart", "doesn't agree with my actions and treatment of friends". Floored AGAIN.
• I responded saying that I'm confused as to what she's referring to and I feel sad that she'd choose to distance herself instead of talk to me about whatever it is. Then I said "I value clarity and this sounds like a significant thing so can you please provide specifics around the actions and treatment you're referring to?"

I honestly have no idea what planet I'm on at the moment. I have what I thought were stable, mature adult relationships that would be with me for a lifetime. For two of my closest friends to form judgements about me (about something I have no idea about), not communicate with me about it, then actively ostracize me, is not only heartbreaking but makes me question my reality.

This is my first time posting on Reddit and I'm doing so now because I could really use support and perspective.
I've recently had a "falling out" with two of my closest friends who I've known separately for over a decade; I had also introduced them to each other and to many people in our pre-COVID community. Here are the facts of the recent events:

• I started seeing my partner (love of my life) 2.5 years ago. My partner is very friendly and kind and was excited to meet my friends. I noticed that my friend Claire was stand-offish about my relationship from the get-go, which I inquired about and she said it was because she was still recovering from her own breakup (from an emotionally abusive relationship).
• A couple of months after I met my now partner, I asked my roommate and good friend Gill to move out with 2 months notice. Context here: I invited her to move into my small 2-bedroom apartment about a year into COVID and she said she'd only stay a few months while she planned her move to another nearby city. She passively pushed the timeline back a few times (ie "as you can see, I haven't moved out yet, I think it'll be a few more months") which I was happy about at first because I enjoyed her company...until she started working from home full-time (which I already did) and also began struggling with mental health issues. So, I set the 2-month timeline. The rest of the story is that she flipped out after this conversation, left for a trip to visit family the next day, sent me a long angry email about how I've displaced her (a working professional and therapist) and that she found a place in the new city and would move out in 2 weeks. I kept my distance from her those two weeks and sent her an email saying that my intentions were not to hurt her, that I cared about her, and that I wanted to repair the relationship once she was ready; she sent a positive reply back. Then I never hear from her again and meanwhile heard from others that she was having a hard time "because of what I did to her".
• Fast forward a few months and I notice that Claire and my other close friend Jen - both of whom considered me a close/best friend and were not that close to my roommate - start actively avoiding me. They both stopped responding to my group messages and were "too busy" to hang out or jump on a call; but if I reached out to each of them directly, their respective texts are all friendly with lots of emojis. I even left a birthday present for Jen at her place (because she was too busy to see me) and she didn't acknowledge receiving it, just ignored my text message asking how she liked it.
• I definitely noticed this sudden change in behavior in both of them but I didn't know how to ask about it; their behavior felt punitive in some way and I felt scared to face it head on...for over a year. Until this week.
• Claire lives 2 blocks from me and I saw her heading my way the other evening - I was the only one outside - and she put her head down and "didn't see" me. I was floored. I got home and wrote her a text saying that it hurt to feel that she was actively avoiding me. She responded by saying that she "felt us growing apart", that she "didn't like how I treated close friends of ours", and that instead of having an "inflammatory conversation" she'd chosen to "love and support me from afar". Floored again. This one felt crushing. More context for you: I care deeply for people in my life and live my values of treating people kindly, empathetically, and with good communication. This text from my "close friend" absolutely shocked me. I responded with confusion and curiousity as to why she didn't talk to me about whatever it was she heard/witnessed, and also stated that suddenly disappearing form my life was niether loving nor supportive. My only assumption is that it has to do with Gill but I have no idea. All she said in response was in short "Thank you for speaking your truth <3 I wish you wonderful things." 💩
• Then I reached out to Jen. Jen has always seemed like a direct communicator, and she also is a high anxiety person. So this whole time, I assumed she might actually have been busy with work and life, and/or dealing with anxiety. I texted to say I was checking in because I hadn't heard from her in a long time and wasn't sure why - busy or did something happen?" She responded 24 hours later (last night) and gave me the same spiel as Claire "growing apart", "doesn't agree with my actions and treatment of friends". Floored AGAIN.
• I responded saying that I'm confused as to what she's referring to and I feel sad that she'd choose to distance herself instead of talk to me about whatever it is. Then I said "I value clarity and this sounds like a significant thing so can you please provide specifics around the actions and treatment you're referring to?"

I honestly have no idea what planet I'm on at the moment. I have what I thought were stable, mature adult relationships that would be with me for a lifetime. For two of my closest friends to form judgements about me (about something I have no idea about), not communicate with me about it, then actively ostracize me, is not only heartbreaking but makes me question my reality.

As the title says I’m moving from one side of my country to the other. Due to some four legged animals we can’t fly, so it will be a multiple day drive. My current plan is to mail my snail over night to a friend who lives closer to where we will be living, however they don’t have a spare tank so my snail would be in a stillwater container for the days I am traveling and maybe one extra day so I can set up the tank(it will depend on how late we get in).
This person does have a tank but the conditions are different than what my snail has so it can’t go in there. I’m also worried about bullying as my snail is alone in a planted tank, and this tank has fish and shrimp. Will it be okay without a filter for a few days in a gallon size container? I will obviously be shipping it in a bag of its own tank water, and am planning on also sending a couple of the plants. To help kickstart things when I get to the new place I will have all the old media, the tank, and a couple gallons of the old tank water to get things running back to normal ASAP.
I don’t want to bring them in the car as it will be a lot of motion for days and I think the stress would be too much. Any tips to keep my snail as healthy as I can for this move?

Kind of a rant but also any advice would be great so tagging as question.
This is long .. sorry. I'm in a mental spiral and a bit all over the place right now
Scanned for dropping naps here and found some super useful tips around the ultimate end game no nap life (shout out to this recent post)
But it's daycare that's my problem really, not the dropped nap.. they're not having any part of him not napping unless he's on best behavior it seems.
maybe I'm just blinded by my child but I feel like that is a lot to expect from a 2.5 year old and there should be some sort of middle ground or game plan or something ... Seriously, call me out if I'm off here.
My son has been in this center since he was 9months old. The director knows him well, she was a lead teacher and AD during his time there before her current role. The staff all know he is high energy, always been on the lower end of the sleep scale and have always been good with him. Recently they had a big move up, so the class is at max (18 kids) and with this self decided nap dropping my son has been 50/50 angel or a monster without his nap.. ( side note here, yes we've had some testing done. his pediatrician doesn't believe he has any behavioral issues, just on the more energetic side of normal.)
Over the past week he has decided fully against any naps and is either passing out hard at around 4/5pm ish or staying up and over tired for his usual bed time of 8pm and fighting it pushing himself to almost 9.
Last week I had to pick him up twice because he was "too altered" (language barrier and the translation doesn't always come across clear but taking this to mean he's just gotten to be too much). So last week Monday he was fine, and did take a short 45min nap. Tuesday I was asked to pick him up around 3, Wednesday he had no nap and no problems were noted. Thursday they noted problems but that he settled after snack and playground time and Friday we again had to get him early, they called a little after 3.
Normal pick up is right around 5:15, Fridays my husband gets out early and picks him up by 4:30.
Yesterday we didn't send him in at all. Wasn't going to even bother. he passed out sunday around 6pm and wouldn't wake, then was up at 3am ready to take on the world and around 7:30am started getting fussy so husband and I each took a half day and split duty.
He napped about 30min in the car when I had to bring him with me on an errand for work but still went to bed at normal time with a slight fight but not bad, he was out cold by 8:30pm
Today they called me almost immediately after nap time (1:30pm) because he wouldn't nap, was removed from the room. They brought him back after everyone was asleep and let him watch videos (..ok, I get it) but when the other kids started waking up he was "riding tables and causing disturbance" So I again had go get him. Thankfully my boss is pretty understanding and has a toddler who they just started in day care so he gets it for the most part.. but I can't keep this up.
How the heck do I make this work with day care if he is truly ready to drop a nap?
When he went to one nap going into the older toddler room he was grumpy but not awful and 95% of the time he'd power nap on the 15-20 minute (PM traffic here is a nightmare) ride home. sometimes a few min longer and id use the time to sit in the car and catch up on emails and things until he'd wakeup/I woke him up, we go inside, have dinner, play, tub, bed no problem. That doesn't work now.
I just honestly don't know what to do.
We have no family here no friends that can watch him .. we both need to work. Just ...ugh

I was seeing this guy for 5 months. I would say he was the male version of me and I was the female version of him. We have a lot in common with similar hobbies, life views, humor etc. We also had a ton of fun together whenever we would hang out. It was overall a very healthy relationship.
I recently asked him where he sees this going and how I think he has a pretty solid idea how I feel about him. His response was something along the lines of “I personally am confused - my feelings seem to be going back and forth. Love spending time with you and all of our fun adventures but sometimes it feels like we are best friends more than dating and I’m trying to work through that because I always said I want to marry my best friend “ I basically just understood where he was coming from and asked if there was anything I could change to move it in the right direction. I told him how I really like him and and have been enjoying the connection and am also looking for my best friend etc. He said “there’s nothing to fix I don’t think this is broken by any means we have fun together and are very like minded I just feel like my feelings flip flop” he continued to say he feels like he’s standing in a door way and isn’t sure which way to go.
I responded just saying I think this sorta answers it for me and I really wish him the best
That was the last time we spoke. I really do like this guy and want to work through this if it’s feasible but I guess I need some advice on how to navigate this. Would it be weird if I reached out to him first or is the ball in his court?
Please be kind and all advice is welcomed

We broke up on Thursday because he wanted an open relationship and I didn't. We loved each other a lot and we were so respectful with each other, the breakup was very amicable, but we both were hurting so much.
Thursday - I hardly ate anything on Thursday and I cried all the day. I took the day off. I still though at this point there was some possibility of making it wor
Friday - I was devastated. I spent all the day crying. I had a long conversation with my sister, who helped me a lot, and I had to pack all my things and move back to my parents, and I made it pretty quickly with the help of my father and my brother. It destroyed me saying goodbye to my home. This day was exhausting. I didn't eat nor drink almost anything. Luckly, I was able to rest.
Saturday - Still devastated. I woke up and stayed crying in my bed for a while. I journaled a little bit. Then took a shower and unpacked part of my things. I couldn't almost eat, but I forced myself to have something for lunch. Then I went back to crying and reading to this reddit. In the afternoon, I went to my cousins house (they are very close, and its house is in the same building than my parents) to watch Eurovisión and I could disconnect a little bit. They were so nice and supporting and I felt better. In the night I felt hungry for the first time and had a poke.
Sunday - Woke up very, very sad. Cried in my bed until late, then I unpacked the rest of my things. My father was supporting with me which help a lot. I didn't expect that since hes always been distant, but he's been changing in the last years and now he is quite nice now. I also received a call from a good friend which made me feel better. Had lunch, not much food. In the afternoon, I finished all the logistics I had with my ex and we decided not to talk anymore and whished the best to each other. Afternoon was mostly crying in bed, and before dinner, I decided to Walk for 1 hour. During that hour, I listened to breakup podcasts and felt much better.
Monday - Morning, as usually, was brutal. I journaled a little bit and started working again (I am working part time). I had a lot of trouble to focus and cried a lot, but I am working from home so it was okey. I had lunch and my appetite was slowly coming back to normal. In the afternoon, I cried a little bit and watched videos about breakups and read reddit. In the afternoon, I went to my cousins for a while, then went to walk again while listening to podcasts. This made me feel a bit better.
Tuesday - Mornings hurt!!! I journaled my feelings, cried a little, and got ready for the day. Try to be productive, I wasn't so much, but I tried. I had lunch, my appetite is close to normal, and I had a nap. At 17 I had an appointment with my therapist. It felt good, she validated me a lot. Then met with a friend for a long walk. I felt really good with her, she is a good friend. When she left, I kept walking while listening to a so good breakup podcast. walked 10km in total! Then hung out with my cousin for a very little bit and had dinner, normal appetite. After that, my sister called me and we talked for an hour.
I am so hurt, but proud of myself. I am taking care of myself and trying to connect with people. This is sad and devastating, but, I feel I have the tools to manage it. :)

Tl;dr: in the country I moved to seems professors cannot afford two bedrooms and a car. My wife resents me for it. What should I do?
Ok, I was baiting... she doesn't hate me, we're very much in love. However, she does resent me lately because our living standards are not up to par with people much less successful in paper.
I am 40, associate professor at a prestigious research university in Sweden. I moved here from another European country together with my wife for my work. I was working in a startup and making big bucks but was enchanted by the allure of the position I've coveted my whole life. She was working in our home country with a nice management job and gave it up, here is earning less after 5 years.
My family situation is quite bad financially, I come from a working-class background. Sometimes I have to pay help to my father to make rent in my home country. Swedish crown has collapsed against the Euro the last couple of years (-15%) and that doesn't help. Luckily my siblings are doing quite well, and my younger brother and especially my sister are earning now more than double what I get, and she helps with father the most. Recently my sister came to visit and explained facts I wasn't aware of about my father and that added to the discomfort of both me and my wife.
My wife also comes from a working-class background, but at least her parents had the head screwed on the right way and could take advantage of being boomers and buy a little nice nest to stay comfortable for two pennies and a boot.
Sweden is a very expensive country, and in my area a professor salary doesn't go far, especially if it comes to real estate. Furthermore, there is no upward premium and there is basically no difference in my department between the least and the most paid. Actually, I'm one of the ones earning the most as associate because I have also admin task. Full professors earn marginally more and even that promotion will not change the economic situation that much. In fact, my colleagues of all stripes basically gave up living in a nice area with families and move to the countryside.
Basically, my wife resents this economic situation and the fact that she came here for me. We're living in 65sqm in 2 and we've got a baby on the way. We cannot afford more without changing area that my wife doesn't want to do. In our home country, with her salary back then and me doing high school, we could have afforded anything within reason instead, and not having to choose between two bedrooms or amenities. My family cannot help, and in fact it is a constant drag. I'm very vulnerable to the exchange, and if the currency tanks further and I really start making less money than a high school teacher back home and having difficulties supporting family and parents. We see our friends buying nice little villas and seatown properties and here I'm stuck earning less than my students' summer job.
It's been years and I cannot shake the nagging feeling that coming here was the greatest mistake of my life. Now I don't know if moving would be another unwise decision. I do not feel confident looking for job as professor elsewhere, and I don't know how to approach it since in my country the vast majority of openings is for junior positions. Should I look some other job and becoming a corporate drone for some faceless entity and an idiot manager?
How should I get over at this nagging guilt of having a child on the way and not being able to provide the lifestyle my family deserves and that most people can afford without advanced degrees and moving to a foreign country?

I've been struggling with a very destructive pattern of paying for sex for some time now. I don't do it often, and bc of that I've fooled myself into believing that these act-outs are just a series of one-off events brought on by specific stressors in my life, but it has undoubtedly become a pattern and I know that I need some accountability.
For context, from a young age I've always engaged in somewhat deviant (to me) sexual behavior. I was raised very strictly catholic and from a young age was told in school that it was a sin to masturbate. I matured earlier than many boys and started masturbating in 4th grade. The first time scared the hell out of me as I had no idea what was happening. All I knew is it felt good and that I couldn't talk to it about anyone.
Fast forward to 8th grade - I was in a serious relationship through 9th grade. This was the first time I had sex of any kind with another person. I also was cheating on her with many other girls.
Next was sophomore year of high school. The first time I experienced true love. And the first time I felt I had such a deep connection with someone else that was respectful and honest. And still I ended up cheating on her toward the end of our two years together. We remain friends to this day which I'm very thankful for, and hey it was high school - water under the bridge, young people make mistakes right? maybe, but...
Fast forward to my college years, I was in a very serious relationship for the entirety of college that culminated in marriage right out of school and a subsequent divorce a few years later. She was the one. Beautiful, smart, sexy. She had everything I wanted (or thought I wanted in my juvenile brain). But as we entered our 3rd year of dating, we began to have many serious sexual issues that we would later find out, stemmed from both of our underlying trauma surrounding sex. We continuously played out a very destructive sexual fantasy that was never explicitly spoken about until the very end of our relationship. In addition to this, I also had many emotional and physical affairs along the way.
That failed marriage prompted a complete overhaul of my life. I was devastated and I knew there were many things I needed to sort out if I was ever going to have a healthy relationship to sex and with another person. Thus, I found a therapist. An amazing therapist. I didn't realize how good he was until much later. The work we did together changed my life. I found a stable career. And I found the girl of my dreams. The relationship was calm, respectful, loving, and without the vicious ups and downs I had previously known. The sex was good and meaningful. We are still together - married with three children. And to this day I have not had any sort of emotional connection to anyone else but her.
And yet, I'm here. Early in my relationship with my now-wife, I visited a massage parlor and cheated. I talked about this with my therapist. We dug in and explored why I felt the need to do this and discovered that this acting out had very little to do with my relationship and everything to do with some unresolved issues inside of me. Thus, the advice was to not disclose the transgression to my partner as it would only cause her pain. That took me a minute to understand but I believe it was the right decision. I still do. And with time, I moved past it.
That was my only transgression for a long time. After many years of intensive therapy I was a new man, feeling more confident and secure in myself than I'd ever been. And so on my therapists advice we began to taper off on the sessions until finally we felt the bulk of our work was done and that I we would check in only on a necessary basis.
And then 3 years into my marriage, I acted out again. I visited another sex worker. I was devastated. But I felt confident that I could handle this on my own. I didn't call my therapist. I journaled, I downloaded a sober app, I conducted therapy sessions with myself, and I held myself accountable. And with time I began to feel better until the guilt faded away and after numerous successful moments where I stopped myself from acting out. This gave me a security that I might finally have kicked my issue. And so I went on with life, I dedicated myself to being the best partner and father I could be. I didn't think of my transgressions often - only when those impulses would arise or I would catch myself drinking a bit too much and experiencing intrusive thoughts.
And then after almost 2 years of sobriety, I did again last week. And I'm crushed. It shakes the foundation I've fought so hard to build. It makes me question everything. It makes me feel like a broken person doomed to failure. And my deep fear now is that I've pathologized this behavior. I've normalized it. And that thought sends me into a panic. Is this what my life will be? Will I always have to carry around this shadow self? This is not the man I want to be. This is not the partner or father I want to be.
And what makes it that much more difficult is that my family and friends adore me. I've been referred to as "golden boy" more than a few times. I have an enviable life. And I'm the type of person who friends and family confide in and look up to. I've been told I emanate a quiet strength and people feel safe around me.
And yet, here I am with this terrible secret. I don't feel like the man people think I am or that I portray myself to be. I've called my therapist and we will speak tomorrow, but any words of encouragement or additional resources would be much appreciated. I cannot allow this to happen again. It is eating away at my heart.

Those of us who were here, actively reading and watching, in the days preceding DFV's return were already aware that things were about to pop off, though I doubt many of us knew just how much and how quickly it was about it pop off.
One of DFV's tweets stood out to me: https://twitter.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790056912664601031
The last clip is from Ludacris's music video "Stand Up". The lyrics, "When I move, you move", could easily be taken as a direct instruction to follow his moves (of which we have no insight... yet)
If one were trying to decipher any meaning from his tweets, this is the most straightforward signal to follow; particularly if you were trying to investigate him for pumping the stock.
There is a theory that has been floating around for a long time now, that there are certain investors who have insight into the way that shorts are handling their position. Specifically, insights that allow them to predict major price movements. If this is true, it is clear that MSM is latching onto these individuals as an excuse for why GME is rising.
I am exploring the idea that, these tweets from DFV, will be enough for congress to bring him back in to answer questions. WE know that DFV isn't responsible for the price movement, but the current MSM narrative is very effective. I have many friends messaging me to say it's all hype, despite having very little insight on the issue.
Could it be possible that he had pre-scheduled these tweets inline with when he thought/knew GME will sneeze/squeeze again? Is it possible that when he is accused of pumping the stock (again), he can point out that he scheduled these tweets far in advance? And any accusation of playing into the current "meme stock mania" would be unfounded. Could this, then, shine a light on the depravity and criminality of these SHF's actions?
I don't know. I'm curious to see what you think

Recently things have slowly been getting better, ofc there have been ups and very low lows but ultimately things are better than they were.
I struggle a lot to keep my brain focused on the positive things within well... Just about everything. Catastrphizing is second nature to me.
In turn, I wanna surround myself with positive people who not only can be understanding to my struggle but also support me, reassure me, make me feel less crazy and who want the best for me and are maybe a little more attentive than the average friend.
I would like to say, I understand reddit isn't the most sound place to find people but seeing as how I would have to interact with people in rEaL LiFe well.. ya know.
Anyways, as for me..
I am a very sarcastic person, I make a lot of jokes and say silly things. I like sarcastic and silly people. I do consider myself sort of a little/middle, I have always been that way and it's something that comes and goes with comfortability and mood. If you're friends with me, it will come out eventually.
I like to watch movies (comedy, horror, true crime), play games (Helldiver's 2, Chess, Minecraft, Rocket League), very artsy, I'm competitive and stubborn. Need someone that can deal with my pessemism and stubbornness forsure.
I love to just enjoy someone's company, doing our own thing and checking in from time to time.
If you think this is something you're open to, feel free to message me. I will most definitely ask for a voice message before anything because I'm big on voices so it would be helpful if you sent your response as a vocaroo, otherwise I'll ask you once we move to discord - which is what I use.
Leave 🧸🪐🧁 these three emojis so I know you read my post. 💜

Just some background information, me (26F) and my bf (26M) just celebrated our 5 year anniversary. He is from a remote northern Canadian town and we currently live in a city 6 ish hours away and just bought a house a year ago. I am from another province but I have family in the city and drive home 8 ish hours usually around the holidays and long weekends. He is extremely close with his family and often goes to visit at least once a month. Some more context, he works a fly in and out job so I only see him half of the year.
He has asked me to move back for years and I always told him I didn’t want to because I would be giving up everything. I finally feel happy with the life I have built in the city. I have new lasting friendships, a good relationship with my family, adventure, and hobbies (I train aerial arts). I already struggle with loneliness and depression when he’s at work as I tend to isolate myself pretty easily and have to force myself to go out, otherwise I won’t have human interaction for days at a time.
We just found out last week that is dad has cancer. His dad is his biggest role model so of course this has destroyed him. He feels guilty for not spending more time, not being there the last five years, etc. I’m doing my best to be a rock for him when he needs it, but he has left to go spend a few months with his family, which is fine because it’s what he needs the most right now, and I told him I would look after the house while he's away.
Of course now the idea of us moving there is stronger than ever, as he said it’s “a damn good reason to move back”. His dad is taking about leaving him the house, and his mom is talking about how someone will need to move in with her if something where to happen since she can’t look after everything herself (they live on a few acres of land). He has three other siblings, two of them have their own families but they all live in the town. His closest brother has mentioned that he and his fiancée are willing to move in with his mom since they are the only ones without a mortgage.
Of course I love my bf so much, and I never want to lose him and I always said he was the one and we were going to get married. I know it’s selfish, and maybe I’m an asshole, but I would be giving up EVERYTHING to move there. My family, my friends, my aerial arts, my job, everything. My family back home has repeatedly told me not to move there as it’s too remote and we’ll never be able to visit (it’s over 10 hours of driving). I’ve always been a city girl. I like going out to bars, restaurants, festivals, downtown life, having my out of town friends visit, etc. My bf has always been a country boy, grew up quadding, fishing, shooting, etc. I enjoy the country but this is not the life I would have made for myself. I’m not sure that I can be happy there, and I’m afraid of being left alone there with no support while he’s gone to work. My family would never visit and neither would my friends. I want to support him, but I’m not sure about making this sacrifice, but I don’t want to lose him either.
tl;dr bf is from small remote town and wants to move back, I don’t want to because the sacrifice is too much for me. His dad has cancer and now the pressure to move back is on.

Buckle up, this one’s gonna be long. I (24F) have always known that I liked women, but thought I preferred men (🙄). My first ever kiss was with my best friend (a girl) when we were 13, and afterwards I FREAKED out and ghosted her. Like literally would not talk to her cold turkey for like 2 years. And the thing about it is that I refused to think about it, I wouldn’t let myself think about why I was treating her this way.
My friend group growing up was very tolerant, many of them being openly queer. When I was 15, we were at a sleepover of all girls and played spin the bottle… So basically I kissed like 7 girls before I ever kissed a man 😂 I don’t remember it being particularly earth shattering, just little teenage pecks but still. But another thing about me is that I was boy crazy growing up, I had a crush on every boy that was nice to me. When I was 16 and got my first boyfriend, we made out a few times and I was so not into it. I dumped him 3 months in. At the same time I was going to a concert with my bestie and suggesting we “pretend to be gfs so guys dont talk to us” (sorry these thoughts are just coming as I write)
The rest of high school I was “in love with” the same guy my best friend had a crush on… So I didn’t have another boyfriend in high school. When I got to college, I was excited to date new people and went on lots of dates with men, but I was always too scared to date a woman. I always knew one day I would build up the nerve to go out with a girl and then… I met my boyfriend.
So, my boyfriend and I met at a really weird time in my life. I was really uncomfortable at my dorm with tension from my roommates, I was feeling out of place at my dads and my mom and i weren’t speaking. When he and I got together, it escalated really fast because I stayed over ALL the time. I felt safe and comfortable at his house, he quickly became my best friend. We would watch movies and smoke weed and order food. The first few times we kissed and had sex, I felt like something was missing. I honestly didn’t even really like him romantically, he wasnt a very good boyfriend, but he was the best option. Shit went down with my mom, she was on drugs and losing it, my dad and i weren’t getting along and i ended up moving in with my bf at the ripe old age of 19. As soon as I moved out my stepmom gave my room to my brother and I was officially out of options (so it felt like). I was estranged from both sides of my family for about 6 months. during that time my bf and i fought a lot and i wanted to break up with him but felt like I couldn’t. I really did start to love him but at this point I am struggling to remember the feeling. We would have sex a lot, and it was exciting because he is the only person I have ever slept with. It very often wasn’t great, and I would end up crying myself to sleep not knowing why. We have significantly less sex now (5 years later) and I still struggle with an unease afterwards. We have gone through so many of my hard times together and I developed a very codependent relationship with him. I would get severe anxiety being away from him and he became my rock. I went through a very dark year were I was depressed and didn’t work. He was as supportive as he could’ve been and got me through it. He supported me when I went back to school and worked a job he hated. He is so wonderful and thats what makes this hurt so bad. I love him with all of my heart, he is my best friend, but I am not sure if im in love with him.
A few months ago, I read Tryst Six Venom and it consumed me. It was the first w/w book I had read (i pretty much only read m/m before). I haven’t stopped thinking “oh shit am i a lesbian?” since. Then I read this stupid comphet shit and have been crying my eyes out for days. It feels too real now. When I close my eyes and think of reaching out and touching a body, its a womans. I feel curves and breasts and soft hair and soft skin. My boyfriend is my home, where i’m comfortable, but i’m terrified I am missing out on what i’m meant for. I dont know, basically what im trying to say im about 90% that im a lesbian but scared shitless. I dont want to blow up my life. What if im wrong and ruin lives for nothing? He will be devastated. This fucking sucks.
PS If you were wondering about my attraction to other men, its been at almost a zero since i have been with my bf. Im a certified man hater actually.
pss sorry for the grammar i partook in a lil too much devils lettuce

I started this series about a week ago. My friend and I both watch an animated show called Invincible which we both love. He told me if I’m really into animated shows to check out Attack on Titan. I’ve really only watched 2 other anime before; Naruto & Death Note. Ig you can say I haven’t really dug deep into anime. But after watching this so far, it’s clear this is a must watch show even to non-anime viewers. It’s really not hard to get into. For me, it’s always really hard for me to get into any new show, thinking nothing can really meet my expectations. But whenever I do get into something that does it for me, I instantly become obsessed with it and feel the need to binge it all. Been binging aot every night and currently near the end of season 3. (Just watched the episode where they enter the cellar)
There’s so much to say why I think its a masterpiece, but il keep this piece as brief as I can. And I’m aware what I have to say here has probably been said numerous times before. So il try to avoid that.
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I can imagine a lot of non-anime watchers might mistake anime as a genre of its own, not realizing they are categorized in themes of drama, comedy, sports…. Just like any other show. Here are the several themes I classify with AOT: Action, drama, dystopian, political/war, mystery.
The emphasis on War & Politics is a big one for me. They do it so well characterizing war. What a soldier does. What it does to a soldier. The large scale impacts. Also the importance of following orders, trusting your teammates and them putting their trust in you. Also a lot of sacrifice. So many people die for their collective goal of humanities freedom. It’s inspiring. Naruto does this a bit too with the whole thing about working well with your team, following command, ect. But AOT just goes way further with it and really makes it a larger part of the shows identity.
In season 1 when joining the scouts; Erwin asks those joining: “If you were ordered to die, would you do it?”. - That sentence plays huge importance for the story moving froward, and one could argue the situations some soldiers are faced with IRL when in a squad in real major war.
The world of AOT is so dark & gloomy you can get away with adding horror to one of its themes. This dark, gloomy vibe is a large part of the shows’ popular identity. It’s not only dystopian, but it’s also very anti-fascist. The characters are constantly striving for their collective goal of driving humanity towards freedom.
Another thing that makes the show pop out is obviously the Titans themselves. The idea of the titans is so cool because their scale is so wide compared to that of a regular human. Killing them is no easy feat and a titan battle has the main characters odds stacked 10:1. Their power scale makes most people scared shitless, give up and lose hope. And when the main characters do get to win, it just makes it that much more satisfying. (This is much more outlined in the beginning of the show obviously) This is where a lot of the dark gloominess in the show comes from.
Even after season 1 when its more common to see the characters effortlessly kill titans, the odds continue to get stacked against them but it doesn’t get boring at all. The show just evolves and the characters are provoked in more interesting ways.
In terms of the characters; they’re all masterful. My favourite characters right now are Levi, Mikes, and Armin (ESPECIALLY Armin after S3 EP17-18). The characters are all good and you really feel for not just the “good” characters.
The show’s obviously not afraid to kill off characters. In every battle, people die. You can say there are both more important, and lesser important characters dying in these scenes, but none of them ever feel like filler characters. They all feel like they mattered in death. Even the lesser important guys have meaning and you really feel it when these people have to sacrifice themselves for everyone else.
Even the antagonist characters eventually don’t seem like real bad guys. I’m obviously still routing for Eren and the other good guys but you begin to see the show is showing you why the bad guys aren’t bad in their own situations. Having not finished the show yet, there’s still a lot uncovered on why certain antagonists are doing what they’re doing, but it’s clear they have a strong reason for their actions and they really believe their actions are what’s perhaps best for everyone.
The runtime is more or less perfect. 4 seasons, 80-something episodes, 20 minutes each. It’s a perfect amount of time for anyone to get into. And more importantly, there’s NO filler content taking away value from the runtime. Literally 0 filler episodes. The pacing’s pretty good and they try to keep it on the faster side in order to drive the events forward, which I like.
The Plot Twists: Seems to be the biggest reason as to why people say the show’s so good. AOT does plot twists like no other. There’s quite a few “betrayals”, and moments of surprise and they come so unexpected. After seeing how they handle plot twists in this show, I’m seeing a problem in how other shows direct theirs. It’s too common for other shows to foreshadow their plot twists slightly too much, or use blatant flashbacks to allude to what’s coming. If you’re someone who already watches a lot of good shows you can already kind of predict what major things are about to unfold slightly before it happens.
Don’t get me wrong, AOT has many flashbacks too obviously (like in many anime), but they’re used pretty well for the most part. They also have minor foreshadowings too you can say but they’re very very faint and also used correctly.
For where I’m at in the series, I’m obviously referring to in Season 2, where Reiner & Berthold reveal themselves as titans. The way it was done really gives me chills. When they start talking to Eren and reveal themselves, it’s done so faintly and non-dramatic that you kinda miss it. It’s like I clearly heard what they’re saying but it just didn’t register in my mind because of the nature of the directing. They make it so their conversation is “Background Talk” rather than a dramatic reveal. No fancy music or anything like that. Really just gave an eerie vibe to it. I had to replay that scene like 3 times to understand what was going on. Then of course after their undramatic reveal; they use a flashback to explain their characters a bit further (notice how the flashback is used AFTER the reveal not before); and THEN they go to their transformation. It is only in this transformation scene that they saved for the dramatic suspense to be unleashed. Maybe I’m looking to much into the writing but I just think the nature of that plot twist was handled very well. (And of course there’s the minor foreshadowing of Berthold chomping on his hand while the castle is falling. It’s an obvious titan-shifter move, but I think it was handled right).
The action scenes are very well blended in with the dramatic parts to its credit. A common occurrence I see with good action shows is they’re good BECAUSE its more than just action. And other action shows might get undermined for not having enough of it, maybe being covered, or perhaps outshined by the more emotional scenes. I have no problem with this myself in AOT. Even in parts of the story where action is scarce for a bit I have no complaints. Perhaps my perception of this is different than others because I’m able to binge it all at once while many others had to wait up to 10 full years between seasons and parts of seasons to see all the action.
Like I said, the power scale of the titans are really the meat & potatoes of the battles being what they are. The battle strategy is really cool to get into, and how they’re going to outdo their titan opponents (Armin as a character really adds to this for me).
The battles are one thing but the fighting itself is a whole other. The actual combat and the animation of it gets the adrenaline pumping. The whole concept of the ODM gear is genius. Using gas powered grappling hooks to leap throughout their environment like a speeding bullet, and zing around everywhere to take down the titans looks like such an adrenaline rush. It gives me adrenaline just watching them, and hearing the sounds of the gear. Its iconic really. Just the idea of it. Also really fits well with the 19th century setting, the technology being where it is.
Ig I have nothing more to say about the animation. Everyone knows its top tier, along with the gore. Nothing really extra I have to add about it, it’s self explanatory. Ofc can’t forget about the OST as well, just like the ODM gear; it’s iconic, adrenaline-pumping. ‘Nuff said.
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Unfortunately I already spoiled myself with a big plot twist for season 4. Whenever I get into a show like this it’s always so tempting for me to look at reviews of the show to reinforce why it’s so good, or do the character quizzes, or look at memes related to the show. That being said its too easy to spoil yourself with this.
I saw what the “final boss” looks like. (His head basically, and who it is). Really wish I didn’t see that yet, but it’s literally so hard to not get spoiled I tried my best. My friend warned me how easy the spoilers go. Told me I can’t google the show, search it on YouTube, ect. Anytime I type the shows name I’m risking anything coming up. I also know that 80% of humanity is wiped out from this “event/person”. Found that out the hard way. Other than that I’m spoiler free. I really wish I didn’t see any of that but it’s my fault ultimately and here I am. I probably shouldn’t be going on this subreddit to begin with. I’m lowering my eyes just going on this sub to post this. Not looking at anything else on this sub, not even daring to scroll to other posts. But with how far I’ve gotten in the series I really can’t hold it in and just really want to let out my thoughts so far on the show on here. Please keep the comments spoiler free for me. Just had to unload and discuss a little with you guys.

My friend and I (both 23F) have known each other for 2+ years. She’s never been in a serious relationship and has always acted mopey when a guy breaks off things with her. We were also roommates for a year and she gets reallllyyyy invested in the ego aspect of things.
Lately, she was also seeing another guy who broke up with her after 3 months of sleeping with her and she constantly calls me up to vent/ask for advice. She will rant about him, how he broke her heart, how she deserves better and as soon as he asks her to see him again, she leaps at the opportunity. Honestly it’s annoying having boy talk with her.
I’m like, whatever, she’s a dear friend and I love her. Now, she told me she was worried she was pregnant, and I consoled her. Few weeks later she tells me she had been briefly sleeping with a man who is 40 years old and has a 13 year old daughter. I was horrified. She said he treated her well and took her out on nice dates and I joked if he was her sugar daddy now. I also warned her that power dynamics are messed up in relationships like these but she assures me that this is just sex and nothing.
Now, I think I may be an asshole for how I think. I am a little judgy about anyone sleeping around if they don’t know how to mentally handle and separate themselves from their feelings. Usually, people who opt casual relationships are mature enough to avoid getting emotionally invested but she isn’t the type to avoid doing so.
My judgment of her is also not that kind and now I feel that she lacks impulse control and her sleeping around proves just that. She would want to rant about how this guy is treating her as a booty call yet jump his bones again when he signals to her. And now she’s sleeping with an older man which is honestly creepy. She will give excuses how the break up is too fresh and how she can’t act like she’s moved on.
I’m honestly put off by her and respect her less because she’s shown she doesn’t care about her own self respect really.
I’ve distanced myself from her now because I can’t relate with her at all.
AITAH?

I watched Roadhouse from 1989 tonight.
The plot, if you're not familiar, is about a driftepariah type bouncer (Mr. Patrick Swayze) , who always tries to solve things peacefully, though he often fails when the monsters cough, I mean humans are too aggressive. He won't work for people he views as immoral.
He's quiet, withdrawn, has seen it all. He has a good friend who's a singer, also traveling from job to job, and their paths cross here and there. There's a fair amount of nudity and sex scenes.
He's feared, but respected, and a lot of myths and stories revolve, around him and his kind. They work alone, want the pay, then they move on. There are only two of the very best. Him, and his friend (hold your Roaches, I'm almost there) Enter friend Wade Garett. It's basically Geralt, even the name, and a bit of a Vesemir as well. In a fighting scene (2.41 in the video), he ties up his hair,exactly liike Geralt.
Tell me I'm crazy, but the books come out one year later, in 1990, and people in Poland watched Hollywood movies.
Disclaimer: The Witcher is a brilliant work of art, and the two things can't be compared (sorry, but Roadhouse hasn't aged well).
But could it have started an idea..?

One of the top lingering mysteries of the RUIN DLC of Security Breach is the identity of The Prototype Glamrock Freddy. Immediately, an argument could be made that it is the original Freddy animatronic. Of course, this is a fair argument to be made, but rather than just simply saying it's this or that, let's go over what we know and what the game tells us.

Prototype Freddy in RUIN

In Chapter 8 of RUIN, in Fazer Blast, Cassie encounters Prototype Freddy. After disabling the mask inhibitor, she discovers Prototype Freddy lying atop a heap of junk and staff bots, partially buried under collapsed catwalk. As Prototype Freddy rises and gives chase, Cassie has to flee.
Cassie is eventually cornered by the Prototype, to which she deactivates the inhibitor and he disappears when the mask is put on.
Theories regarding Prototype Freddy generally fall into one of two categories.

1. Prototype Freddy is the same Freddy as the Freddy in Security Breach
2. Prototype Freddy is a different Freddy

But ultimately, what I want to talk about isn't the theories in detail, but I'll go over them briefly and what are the main points of each argument.

Prototype Is The Same Freddy

When RUIN initially released, the theory about Prototype Freddy being the same Freddy in Security Breach wasn't as common as saying he was a different Freddy. Though this perspective seems to have become the community consensus or at least the one I see the most.
The Princess Quest ending is strongly hinted to be the canonical ending in some capacity, which correlates with Prototype Freddy's absence of a head and his presence within Fazer Blast.
In the PQ ending, Freddy's body is extensively damaged and torn apart, mirroring the condition of Prototype Freddy.
This theory also works with Freddy being in safe mode; if he's disconnected from the network, it's makes sense that he wouldn't appear in the network.

Prototype Is Not The Same Freddy

Prototype Freddy is argued to be a different Freddy due to the prototype writing on his foot, not seen with Freddy in Security Breach. Why would they add this if not to differentiate him from the actual Freddy?
Prototype Freddy is also ontop of a trash pile while he would just be on the floor, as seen in the Superstar ending where Freddy game ends.
Prototype Freddy also doesn't resemble the Freddy we know in Security Breach at all. Where Freddy is nice and friendly, the Prototype is mindless and a monster.
The gift inside Prototype Freddy is also a different color, being green and blue, compared to orange blue we see in the actual Freddy.

How Safe Mode is Assumed To Factor In

A major argument for why Prototype Freddy disappears is safe mode. The argument follows the idea that because Freddy is in safe mode, he is disconnected from the network. The same thing happened to Freddy in safe mode back in Security Breach; he couldn't see Vanny until he got eyes that were connected to the network.
So it's a pretty safe bet to say that Freddy couldn't see Vanny and disappears because he is not connected to the network, right?

Roxy in RUIN

Roxy in RUIN is involved in a cutscene where she grabs onto Cassie's wrist, before Cassie yells at her to let go. Roxy lets go and pauses, even saying error out loud. This later results in the shift we see when Cassie has to deactivate Roxy before she goes into the sinkhole.
The obvious question being, why does this shift occur? And since we're talking about it, the generally accepted answer is that she enters safe mode after the encounter with Cassie.
But the thing is, if she's in safe mode, why can she see Cassie when she puts on the mask? Why can Cassie see her with the mask on?
If Roxy is in safe mode, using the logic of Prototype Freddy being the same Freddy, we should not be seeing her. So what's going on exactly?

How Safe Mode Actually Works

To explain why safe mode doesn't affect Prototype Freddy at all, we first have to look at real-life examples of how safe modes work, and what we see in-game from Freddy.
Safe mode on something like an operating system is a startup mode that provides access to the operating system when the system won't start normally. Depending on the operating system, there might be different safe modes to choose from, and it may be called something different like safe boot, but ultimately, that's not important to the discussion.
When in safe mode, an operating system will often download the necessary files and drivers needed to properly function. Safe mode often doesn't have net access as it's more geared toward turning on the operating system and troubleshooting from there.

How Safe Mode Plays Into SB

We don't get much info or elaboration on Safe mode and how it works with the animatronics. But with what we know, we can gather a few pointers.

1. Safe Mode boots the animatronic with out the Mimic1 program
   
2. Safe mode either activates or is used with reduced power (from what Vanessa says)
   
3. The aniamtronics are disconnected from the network
   

Freddy, obviously loads without the Mimic1 program, as we don't see any of the unusual behavior displayed by the animatronics when afflicted by Mimic1.
Vanessa says,

Now parts and services have you on reduced power. They said it was a safety precaution.

Suggesting a connection between reduced power and safe mode.
Gregory tells Freddy and somehow knows he is disconnected from the network, but says that Vanessa cut him off? It's weird.

The Pizzaplex Network (And Actual Networks)

The network of the Pizzaplex is also something I want to explain. A network in simple terms is a system that connects two computing devices that exchange data and resources. The one most people know is a wifi network.
The Pizzaplex network is a little different, as it connects every electronic part of the Pizzaplex, from technology, devices, animatronics and servers.
The V.A.N.N.I. mask, is simply an extension of the network, allowing the technicians to interact with the network from outside of it.
When a computer shuts off, it disconnects from the network it is connected. Though, some computers through something known as LAN (Local Area Network) can still be turned on by other devices given specific circumstances. Other network managing tools may be able to detect devices, depending on the network.
Networks can also be divided into subnets, smaller controlled parts of a larger network. A company may have a specific subnet designed for the IT department. Often times, subnets are used to make things more efficient and control who has access to what.
If I run a business, where my staff use the network and I want my customers to be able to use the network, I would divide that into subnets so the traffic doesn't interfere with my staff.

What Am I getting at?

The point I'm making is how networks and safe mode function, which helps us understand Prototype Freddy. If Roxanne Wolf is in safe mode when we encounter her before the sinkhole, and then disconnects from the network, logically she should disappear, similar to Prototype Freddy disappearing due to safe mode. In fact, we shouldn't see most staff bots because they wouldn't be connected to the network while powered off.
Roxy is likely in safe mode as we see her talk in the same robotic way Freddy starts to in Security Breach, she doesn't use contractions (You're, Aren't). This is different from Freddy, who we're told doesn't use contractions normally in Tiger Rock.

"You're the best. You will find him first." - Roxanne in Security Breach

For comparison.

"I remember because you are number one - twice." - Roxanne talking to Cassie in RUIN

All this is to say, that The Prototype is not in safe mode, and therefore, not the Freddy we know from the base game.

So Why Does He Disappear?

Earlier, I discussed networks and subnets. This is where that becomes important.
A question I didn't see anyone asking when RUIN came out, was about M.X.E.S. Aside from what it is, where it came from and a whole host of other ones. I never saw a specific question. Where does the M.X.E.S. entity go when it disappears?
M.X.E.S. is obviously part of the network, being a digital manifestation of the M.X.E.S. security program, but it doesn't immediately appear in the network despite the fact it should be there, and it's likely tracking Cassie.
M.X.E.S. is in fact in a subnet of the Pizzaplex when we don't see it. Subnets are designed to be secure and provide security for specific parts of the network. So when the entity gets an alert of the security of the network, it exits the subnet and goes into the main Pizzaplex network.
This would also make sense for Prototype Freddy. In order to be more secure and not affected by the corruption of the Pizzaplex network, Prototype Freddy would be moved to a part of the subnet to protect it. The M.X.E.S. program can then use it to stop Cassie like it does with the other animatronics.
That's also how he manages to track you without having a head. Compared to Roxy, Prototype Freddy can't hear anything, since most of its processors relating to hearing and seeing would likely be with its head. It needs a way to track Cassie, and it has no other way besides using the network. And when Cassie puts on the mask, it separates the two.
Prototype Freddy can't swap between the two networks; it remains in the subnet.
We know that the Pizzaplex was undergoing a reconstruction project before it was abandoned by the time of RUIN. We're also told from Tales that not only are there multiple Pizzaplexes, but we see first-hand in The Bobbiedots that animatronics get thrown out if they're damaged or whatever else.
There are tons of ways this could be a different Freddy and still suffer the damages we see. Maybe they were using this Freddy during excavation and abandoned him when the project fell apart.

Conclusion

Prototype Freddy can't be in safe mode to disappear in RUIN. He has to be connected to a different part of the network. It can't be safe mode because then that breaks the rules established by being disconnected from the network.
This was something I had been brewing for a while; it actually had me stumped because I couldn't come to a proper conclusion unless I had some evidence that Roxy was actually in safe mode. It wasn't until I remembered what the story Tiger Rock said that I could actually form a conclusion.
Let me know what you think.

I made a post fewdays ago how empowering it is to get a text from your ex through mail (bc I blocked him). Boo hoo It is and and it is not. I gave in. I knew I’d be so weak but I felt so strong at the time.
I called him, and it was due to intoxication. It’s my own fault. I told him I hope he’d die, after a cordial chat. Of course, I didn’t mean it, which I guess he knew (even though I was so distressed by my own words - I still feel bad about it). The thing is that I downloaded WhatsApp back (which was our main medium of communication) because I want to get my own power back (back on dating apps, i mainly use whatsapp) and also because I always use it to talk to my best friend (she only changed to iMessage after I told her to). But I won’t lie… I want my power back but I also wanted a rise out of him. He delivered within an hour, not so much. He had me “unable” to see his profile until I “added” him back. Yes I’m guilty of that. This is beyond pathetic for me and him. I know he must be watching me closely because I keep my presence only to very little.
But that’s not the point. I want to rage: how do I do it? I can’t cry (despite therapy). When it comes to crying I shut myself, I know it’s a relief but I can’t do it - I just can’t, physically. How do I let the emotions out? I want to rage. Maybe something else? I'd like to get physical - even excercise, swimmingt I just want to have that „excess energy” out of me (in thn meantime I can't seem to move my ass. but there is something beyond me that wants ti get the calories out).) How do you do It?

Hi everyone, I (28M) am very new to dating as I don't have much dating / relationship experience in my life before. So I apologize if I am not making sense here and any opinion here is greatly appreciated!
I met this girl (31F) through hinge back in March this year, and we have been texting quite a lot. After chatting for a week, I asked her out for a first date, but unfortunately she is going to HK for a month for vacation for the entire April. So I decided to keep texting with her throughout the month when she's in HK, and I feel like she started to get more comfortable chatting with me as I see she is using more emoji and sticker over time. Throughout a month and half of chatting on a daily basis, I did make some hint that I am interested in her not just as a friend, but a potential relationship in the future, and she did respond with a lot of "maybe", which giving me hope.
When she's back from HK, I asked her out again for the 1st date. Even though she rejected the upcoming weekend for jetlag reason, she did suggest the following Saturday instead. So we went to have a lunch + boba as our 1st date on Saturday (beginning of May), and I felt we had a great date because we had been keeping the conversation light and easy going about many random topics, and she said "thanks for treating me the lunch today! I will treat you back next time" before we parted. Also I'm not sure if this is relevant, but we didn't had any physical touch during the date as I didn't want to do anything too rush and make her feel uncomfortable.
But then after that date, I feel things are starting to go down. We still texting with each other on the next day (Sunday), but on Monday I texted her in the afternoon, and she responded me at around 8:30PM. Although I responded back couple minutes later, she didn't respond me at all for the rest of that night. I thought she was busy that night so I let it slide and didn't bother her with any more follow up message. Then on Tuesday morning she texted me again responding to my message from last night. I responded back almost immediately, but she ghosted me for the rest of Tuesday.
At this point I was feeling something might be odd, so I looked up online and people suggest "ask her out for a 2nd date and see what she respond, and you would know if she lost interest in you or not". So I asked her about a 2nd date on Wednesday, but she said she would be busy for the rest of this month. Just when I thought she had lost interest in me, she explained to me the exact reasoning why she's busy, and the schedule she has on every weekend in May, such as fellowship and serving in her church, her friend's birthday party, and a trip to Lake Tahoe with her group of friends etc. (by the way, I didn't ask her why she's busy, and she told me all these on her own)
Then I was like ok we will see in June, how about we stream something to watch together through discord when you are free? She said she don't have discord account and asked me if I have Netflix instead. I said I don't have Netflix but I don't mind getting it, but then she was like "it's ok, I don't want you to pay for the membership since I don't know how often we can stream, because things might come up unexpectedly, so a free platform would be better. I will see if I can make a discord account first". So I didn't push any further about this and moved on our topic to some other random things for the rest of that week. However, she haven't mention anything about discord nor created an account yet still and it's been a week since we talked about it.
Even though we still have been texting on a daily basis, I noticed she started to use less emoji and sticker, as well as she is taking longer to respond to my message now compare to before our 1st date. I might be thinking too much here, but is she started to lose interest in me and just treating me as a friend after our 1st date? Should I straight up ask her to confirm about this? I feel like if I ask but end up I was actually thinking too much and she didn't mean any of this, then we would probably end up in a very awkward position because I showed my insecurity and doubt on her? Could it be that she might also talking to another guy right now and making a decision between us? I am honestly at a lost of what she thinks of me, and I'm not sure what to do at this point. Thank you for all of you who read through this far, and any advice is greatly appreciated!

Me(31 M)and my gf(32 F) have been together for almost 6 years. We were long distance the first 4 years of our relationship. We lived on different states and we lived about 3 and a half hours away from each other but I visited her a lot. I then moved to her state when she gave her birth to our baby about 23 months ago. I left my job but I maintained a pretty good relationship with my boss and he told me I can come back whenever I want to work a couple of days whenever I need an extra buck. I started doing that pretty regularly when we moved to our new apartment January of 2024 and the rent/ bills quadrupled for us since we were no longer with roommates. In April I decide I want to come to work at my home state but I bring our baby with me to give my gf a break and make things easier for her. The entire time I was in my home state, she argued with me about weird things and even accused me of cheating. She accused me of cheating not just 1 or 2 or even 3 times, she literally did it about 20 times. She was also accusing me of weird things like having a fake social media account and following her friends. I never did these things, I never even thought about cheating on her, so all this just didn’t make any sense to me. The entire time I was in my home state, I felt so weird and like something happened. I then get back with our baby and things seem pretty normal. There’s so many details in between now and when I find out she’s cheating but I dont want to make this much longer than what it is but pretty much I find out she’s been cheating on me. She told me she met up with the guy twice and had sex with him 4 different times but that she never wanted him and the reason why she cheated on me was because she was so convinced that I was cheating on her. And also one those times she met up with him was 3 days after I get back which is when I found out. As you can imagine this has been very difficult for me to accept and having a baby be involved in this just makes it even more difficult. It makes my blood boil as well when she says that the reason why she cheated was because she thought I was cheating. I literally get so mad whenever I hear that because I never in almost 6 years have even thought about cheating on her. She obviously feels bad and she says she wants to be with me but the trust is destroyed and it’s been a very difficult last couple of days since I found all this out. She’s pretty much not accepting that the relationship is over. She keeps forcing things and saying that we need to fix this and that breaking up is not the answer. She even has scheduled a therapy appointment because she’s all in on becoming a better person for me, but I just can’t forgive her for what she did or forget that she did what she did. Us having a baby makes things so difficult because I can’t cut all contact with her so I can really heal from this situation. I’ve been in my home state since I found all this out and I really miss my baby. I tell her that this is the beginning of the end to our relationship whether we end things today or in a year from now because I will never see her the same again, but she’s not taking no for an answer. I then get really upset and start talking to her pretty nasty which I really want to avoid doing but she just keeps pushing it and getting all these nasty feelings out of me. And it doesn’t make it any better when I tell her that I can’t believe she did that and what she tells me every time is that she cheated because she thought I was cheating and that she was going through a lot for a little while and thinking that I didn’t want her or thought she wasn’t attractive ….. which is literally fucking ridiculous, because to me she’s so hot and I tell her that all the time. This situation has been extremely frustrating to me and idk if I’ll ever believe her or even see her the same regardless of what she’s saying and how she feels and how she’s “trying to fix” things.

So, to preface this, my dad [47M] and I [20NB] have a TERRIBLE relationship. I am in a divorced family and this is one of those situations where both parents are the bad guy. I'll save what I did to my mom for another story, this is all about my dad.
When I was a kid, right after the divorce, I started visitation with my dad every other weekend and whenever I specifically requested to see him. My mom wanted to make sure I at least got some kind of paternal experience. I remember that, at first, it was fine and I'd go spend time with him and we'd play games or cook together. He was being truly a great father to me.
This all ended very abruptly when I didn't see him for three months with no warning. When I saw him again, he took me to an arcade and we won some tickets and got prizes. He began telling me he was in college and studying so he could get a real cool job. I was around 8 years old at this point and didn't understand fully what college was for, but I just nodded and smiled.
We are about to leave the arcade and he apologizes to me by saying, "I'm sorry I haven't seen you much. I'll try to see you more, but only if your mom will let me."
I didn't see him for another 3-ish months. This happened for 2 years straight and every time he would tell me that my mom wasn't letting him see me. This made me hate my mom growing up and started my feud with her that lasted well into my teenage years. I had always just assumed he was tell the truth because why would my dad lie to me?
Eventually we went back to the every other weekend schedule and whenever I wanted to take a walk to see him (he lived less than a mile away at this point). I, at one point, went on a walk to see him and a cop pulled over by me asking why a 10 year-old little girl was walking down a busy road by herself. I told him and he drove me to my dad.
My dad was furious and yelled at my mom, thinking I was being dropped off and not walking. He eventually let that go and I started staying at his house more often. That's when things started to shift in his personality.
I learned some interesting things while living with him! Let's make a list of these things:

1. My dad served 4 years in the U.S. Military as a First Private in the Army.
2. My dad has a multitude of mental issues like Bipolar 2 Schizoeffective and Autism, among other things.
3. My dad is medicated for all of his problems.
4. My dad never knew about me SA and r*** situation.
5. My dad is a devout and pious Christian with severe right-wingest ideals.

How many of these are true? Numbers 2 and 5 are true, the rest are absolute lies. Now, I don't care what your political or religious beliefs are, just don't shove them down my throat. Keep them to yourselves, please and thank you. Also, mental disorders are something people can have, and that's fine. Just make sure you're medicated (if you need to be) and make people aware of your stuff if you live with them.
The other things are things I found out weren't true via other people (or myself, in the case of my r***). Turns out, everyone in my family knows my dad is crazy and just rolls with it. I was advised, by my grandmother, to just say yes or okay and move on from whatever he says. So I did.
I spent 6 years of my life just pretending and acting like stuff was okay. I came out to him as non-binary and pan. His answer was to take me to therapy and insist I was being brainwashed by Antifa to believe that any of "that stuff" was real. I was banned from any form of lesbian activity while living with him.
At one point I had come home late from a friend's house (I was 18 and spending time with my friend for her birthday) and he got mad at me. I told him I had texted him to tell him that traffic was bad and I would be a bit late. He says I'm lying and refuses to look at his phone to check for a text.
He then says I am a c*nt and that I have 24 hours to leave and find somewhere else to live. I, according to a lawyer friend, don't have to listen to him as I am a tenant on the lease that pays the majority of rent and can request 30 days to leave from the housing authority as he does not own the home we live in. I decided to say whatever and just look for somewhere else instead.
I end up moving in with a random guy, getting pregnant with twins, moving in with my mom (who is being strangely nice and accommodating) cause the guy who got me pregnant is a drug addict and abuser, and then losing my kids to my mom in a custody battle over my financial stabily after they turn 5 months old and she kicks me out of her house to be homeless.
It's at this point in my life I am fed up with my family. I'm angry, sad, and confused. So, I decided to move out to California to live with a close friend (who became my partner for a bit and then told me they don't love me, so now I'm gonna move again). I called my grandmother to tell her the plan and she said I should tell my dad.
I don't know why I even entertained the thought, but I said sure and called him. The conversation started normally and everything was fine till I told him I was headed for California. He freaked out and said that I shouldn't cause people were getting robbed and stuff. I told him I wasn't going to a big city we're stuff like that was happening and that I would be in a small town in a neighborhood of retired older residents.
He starts bringing up old stories of how I used to lie about picking on my brothers and would sneak treats as a little kid, and brought up old stories about the things I'd do as a kid. Normal dumb kid stuff that kids to to test waters on what they can and can't do. He then got all sorts of egotistical and rude with me and said, "Well, don't come cryin' to me when everything goes downhill, little girl."
I snapped. It was at that moment that I lost my sh*t and just unloaded everything on him.
"Oh, really, Dad? Like you did when we couldn't pay rent and I was a teen prstitute for a year and a half cause you came crying to me with your problems? I don't have time for your BS and I really don't have time for any more of your lies. 4 months in the military, not 4 years. Never been medicated for your problems when you're supposed to be on high dosage lithium for your problems. When you said you never knew what happened to me at 13, you lied! It was your friends that did that sht! Or maybe we should talk about the gender identity crisis I went through because of you? I was confused for years because of that! You wanna talk about lies and deceit? Address your own."
It was at that moment that I heard a voice in the background say, "Seriously, Matt?"
My dad had his phone on speaker and was at work during a meeting with his coworkers and boss.
Haven't heard from him since he hung up that call. 🤣