Hi all!
So my fiancé and I decided to elope in January of this year and the date is set for NEXT WEEK. We hired a company to coordinate our elopement for us and four guests (our parents).
This is where it gets tricky- my fiancés parents have been divorced for some time and are both remarried. My fiancé advised them both of our plans and that he can only have two guests for the ceremony (since the other two will be my parents). At this point, his dad tells him to just let his mom and her husband go. My fiancé is fine with this but later gets a call back from his dad that he spoke with fiancés mom and stepdad won’t be going so he will be there and stepmom will just hang out at the hotel during the short ceremony. Great- we can all get a nice dinner afterwards and everything is set nice and easy as I hoped.
Fast forward a month to February and step dad is now coming again. No problem, we can add him to the dinner reservation but remember he will not be able to come to the ceremony due to size limits.
Fast forward to last week- MIL comes over while my fiancé is at work to tell me she won’t be coming bec stepdad is mad that he can’t go to the ceremony. I was little taken aback but told her I understand and asked if she’d told my fiancé- she says no that she wanted to tell me face to face first because she loves me and wants to make sure I know that (very sweet). I break the news to my fiancé and he is LIVID. He calls his mom very upset and we explain the dinner plans after the ceremony to stepdad- they are both on board again.
Yesterday my fiancé calls MIL to confirm her and her husband are still planning to come to dinner after to confirm our reservations. She confirms.
Today I get a call from MY mother saying that MIL called her about the dinner reservations saying she might just bring 2 of my future stepchildren instead and will be calling their mom to plan it out. Now before anyone gets upset that we didn’t invite our children- my fiancé has 5 kids and 3 of them live across the country. It didn’t feel right to only have the kids who lived with us part time there and we have had a discussion with all the kids about our plans and they are very happy for us; however, if MIL brings them then who will be watching them at the hotel, paying for their meals, paying for their outfits, etc (not to mention we are eloping on a school day) My mom told me she just thought I should know and that she didn’t want to overstep so she just reminded MIL that they can’t come to the ceremony and the place we are dining is very expensive.
I told my fiancé about this new revelation when he got home and he tried to call his mom to discuss but she ignored his call. I don’t want all these what ifs the week of my wedding and don’t really know how my fiancé and I should handle this.
*sorry if this got confusing- it’s confusing for me too and the main reason why I wanted to elope

Hi all!
So my fiancé and I decided to elope in January of this year. We hired a company to coordinate our elopement for us and four guests (our parents).
This is where it gets tricky- my fiancés parents have been divorced for some time and are both remarried. My fiancé advised them both of our plans and that he can only have two guests for the ceremony (since the other two will be my parents). At this point, his dad tells him to just let his mom and her husband go. My fiancé is fine with this but later gets a call back from his dad that he spoke with fiancés mom and stepdad won’t be going so he will be there and stepmom will just hang out at the hotel during the short ceremony. Great- we can all get a nice dinner afterwards and everything is set nice and easy as I hoped.
Fast forward a month to February and step dad is now coming again. No problem, we can add him to the dinner reservation but remember he will not be able to come to the ceremony due to size limits.
Fast forward to last week- MIL comes over while my fiancé is at work to tell me she won’t be coming bec stepdad is mad that he can’t go to the ceremony. I was little taken aback but told her I understand and asked if she’d told my fiancé- she says no that she wanted to tell me face to face first because she loves me and wants to make sure I know that (very sweet). I break the news to my fiancé and he is LIVID. He calls his mom very upset and we explain the dinner plans after the ceremony to stepdad- they are both on board again.
Yesterday my fiancé calls MIL to confirm her and her husband are still planning to come to dinner after to confirm our reservations. She confirms.
Today I get a call from MY mother saying that MIL called her about the dinner reservations saying she might just bring 2 of my future stepchildren instead and will be calling their mom to plan it out. Now before anyone gets upset that we didn’t invite our children- my fiancé has 5 kids and 3 of them live across the country. It didn’t feel right to only have the kids who lived with us part time there and we have had a discussion with all the kids about our plans and they are very happy for us; however, if MIL brings them then who will be watching them at the hotel, paying for their meals, paying for their outfits, etc (not to mention we are eloping on a school day) My mom told me she just thought I should know and that she didn’t want to overstep so she just reminded MIL that they can’t come to the ceremony and the place we are dining is very expensive.
I told my fiancé about this new revelation when he got home and he tried to call his mom to discuss but she ignored his call. I don’t want all these what ifs the week of my wedding and don’t really know how my fiancé and I should handle this.
*sorry if this got confusing- it’s confusing for me too and the main reason why I wanted to elope

Huge shout out to & for helping with Brainstorming and Co-Writing this.
As always, all credits for the original Nature of Predators and it's content goes to Space Paladin15, thank him for allowing artist and writers to use his original work of art for their own uses.
Gaian Ref Sheet-Here, Done by the artist
As well as a *Huge* thank you for Julian Skys for filling in for the editor for this chapter. I'll post a comment as to why I haven't been posting too much, safe to say though, kept ya waiting huh?
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[Subject Memory Transcription: Rux Limpbut, Venlil News Anchor and TV Show Host]
Date [Standardized Galactic(?) Time]:August 1st, 2136
Now I'm regretting not taking that transfer last week. This just keeps getting better.
I was in my car outside of the Network’s station. I was at my wits end yesterday and was trying my damnedest *not* to freak out on air. Now? Now I had the pleasure of my network telling me they needed me to come in way early to report on some breaking news. Just as I was about to leave for Solgaliks sake!
I took a small sip of the “coffee”. Now this was a blessing, coffeehouses on Gaia were open paw around, no matter what. I was giving a small prayer to those “ancestors” for their love of anything strong. Well, anything strong that wasn't alcohol. They could stomach one drink or two but after that? They were out.
Slurrrrrp
I let out a relieved sigh as the warm liquid flowed down my maw, the reward of caffeine soon following after this. Hopefully in time for the recording. With that I opened the door, grabbing my briefcase as I greedily drank the rest of the coffee as I approached the wide doors of the Networks station.
They creaked a little as they always did as I appeared in the doorway, a sleepy, overworked ghost. I tossed the coffee cup into the trashcan by the door as I nodded over the after work plans that I had to either postpone, or completely not do.
No bar time, going to be too tired. Not going to have enough time to do more digging in what that Farsulian diplomat released, even after it's been nearly two months. Brahk. Still need to be ready for the shift tomorrow-
“Rux?” The front desk secretary pulled me up and out of my thoughts as I blinked a couple of times, my ears raising as one of my eyes focused on her, a bit frizzled from the overtime I was clocking at the moment.
“Hm? Oh. Hey Liakal, caught me off guard almost as bad as the padcall I got. What's up?” I rubbed my eye as I fully focused on her, making my way over to her.
“Well, whenever you're ready for them they'll give you all you need, apparently, when you get into the studio. What they told me is uh, it's not a pleasant amount of news.” She nervously played with her claws and her headset, her lips quivering a bit.
“That bad? Speh. What about that uh, guest? She gets off-”
“O-oh! Mrs Tarva. She got off the planet easily. I can't say anything else though Rux. They said whatever they have to tell is very, very pertinent not to be let loose until you broadcast it… sorry Rux.”
I patted the top of the semi circle desk that Liakal was sat into, before giving her a quick, albeit small smile with a finger gun before I quickly deflated. It was that bad. With a nod from me I departed into the hallway to the left of the front desk, approaching one of the elevators.
A button press, a chime and the feeling of gravity and anxiousness about to make me hurl later, I was on the floor with the studios. I retraced the steps I had taken only claws before to mine. The green sign saying “Predator Problems” told me I hadn't failed as usual. Something had to be done with our program and segment name, if for nothing else there was apparently much more juicy stuff to talk about.
Opening the door, I expected the hustling and scrambling of the cameramen, the lighting crew, audio specialists. But nothing except a small huddled group of uniformed men. Brahk, I was hoping this wasn't the case but I was never that lucky. I resigned myself to fate as the group finally paid attention to me, and the door clicking and shutting behind me.
“Mr. Rux. Please come over here and sit. You're all good, we just need to go over what we need you to announce in this upcoming impromptu broadcast.” Why the hell were the Gaians on Prime? Wait no. That's not the problem. Why are officers from their military here? Oh stars.
However I could feel my body coming towards the oval shaped table. Eventually knocking into a chair and pulling it out, resting my briefcase onto the ground and taking a seat, pulling up to the desk. I rested my paws on it as I gave a look to the group assembled around it.
All were wearing roughly the same uniform, their fur patterns one of the only differing things between them. Aside from the one at the end of the table. They wore a green beret atop their head, nestled in between the horns that adorned it. They cleared their throat and slid a small packet of papers towards me, startling me a tiny bit.
“While I wish to be polite and respectful, there's simply no way to say this without being blunt. Sole Speaker Jikem is dead. With the current atmosphere on Gaia we thought it'd be best to announce the formation of an emergency government and a leader to head it. All of which has been done in a roundabout manner so as to not alert any radicals or terrorists.”
I had only taken a cursory glance at the front of the small packet before that bombshell of an information was dropped onto me nonchalantly. My paw was halfway to the front page to turn it before my gaze looked up at the Gaian at the end of the oval table who had done so.
“What? Sorry can you-”
“Rux. Come on, you know what I said. Now, I know it isn't everypaw that you get to report on the death of a head of state, let alone be the first one to do so. I'll most certainly give you that. So, we'll give you some time alone…well mostly, to get acquainted with the packet and once you and your crew are roaring to go we'll release the news to the Commonwealth.”
I took a small lookover of the second page but had to pause for a short moment again as I took it in. Yes, yes I did have some questions. Half from the large info dropped on me and the other half that I was now reading with my very own eyes now.
Before they could fully get up I had worked up the courage to get a short clearing of the throat and read out of the lines in the packet out aloud after I had decided it would be better to ask now rather than after. “In conjunction with recent attacks the Armed forces has decided to-” I put down the packet in its entirety now.
“What in the stars could you possibly mean by “safeguarding” democracy? This just seems to be some type of justification for a military takeover. I mean, who's going to fall for this?”
The chairs of the small clique of officers seem to find themselves filled once more as they returned to their positions, most of them now gazing between me, some random crew member scurrying near me and the head honcho with the green beret.
The intensity of the stare of the Gaian at the opposite end of the table seemed to intensify, seemingly his gaze looking through me. “Mr. Rux, I can assure you any such speculation to that matter and that, frankly, justified if albeit imaginary fear is going to be the last thing people on Gaia are going to worry about. Alright?”
I anxiously nodded back, sighing. “L-look I'm just-”
The Bereted officer seemed to nod while holding up his paw, my line of reasoning and thought being stopped by the intrusion. “Worried, you ancestors are always worried. It's why we're here, yes? Anything too dangerous or otherwise unsafe we've always volunteered for so as to save our more cultured self from such. Think about this announcement like that. A warning and an update from our side of the Commonwealth about current affairs, nothing more, nothing less.”
With that it seemed settled for the time being, as the small clique once again rose, and this time was actually able to depart to the booth that overlooked the studio, keeping what I was sure to guess a keen pair of eyes to observe anything.
I settled into my seat more as I gave the small packet a read. It was general stuff as of this point when it came to announcements. Why it's happening, what happened in more details, what they planned to do in the upcoming future, all that juicy stuff. Overall a very plain, if very informative script to go by. Still, being the first to announce the death of a head of state via “Unnatural Causes” would make even some of the most resolved Gaians a bit jumpy, yes?
Once I finally gave the entirety of the packet a quick read over I sat it down giving a glance to my, by now, very familiar set that we used for “Predator Problems”, the entire reason for why I had started it had been to educate and warn people about what to do with predators and the like. Now I was going to have to educate them, apparently, about the fact that our “brothers” in species so to speak were having a bit of topsy-turvy time on their capital planet. Now I was kinda hoping I was one of the more conspiracy theorist nut jobs just so I didn't have to get contacted.
Resigning myself to fate, and the fact that apparently I of all Vens was the most level headed to announce this, I looked over the studio, eventually finding the small group of uniformed men again. I got up and out of the chair as I made my way over to them, flicking my tail into a questioning sign as I did so, my approaching presence quickly noticed.
“Seems like you've got some questions, you read the packet though yeah?” One of them said, I simply signaled a yes with my ears to respond.
“So, is this immediately being aired? Or is it being aired later on tomorrow-well, this paw? Should it be the first thing or the last thing or is it the only thing I'm doing for this one?” With these questions the small clique seemed to talk in-between themselves, small glances were made in my general direction, they seemed to come to some type of conclusion though as they turned back to me, the bereted one now taking center stage again once more.
“Yes. It's being immediately aired. You do realize you are a bit of a celebrity on Gaia, yes? A special breaking news from you would certainly draw the right eyes. Then it'll spread from there. We do have other stuff for you to read, but it'll appear on the prompter. Other than that though we'll take our leave once everything is said and done.”
I gave a small thanks to Solgalik, as that would mean I would be able to go back home and get at least a claw or two of rest. Speh, if I just slept here I could get an extra one easy. But I didn't have much time to dwell on that, instead I apparently had a job to do right now.
With that bit of information I decided to go around, talking to the crew, who as of this point has finally settled down and has stopped scattering from the Gaians. A small conversation with each helped us plan out the next few tantalizingly painful minutes that were about to unfold live on air.
With everything and everyone in place, I took my seat at the curved table in the middle of the cameras, getting my little tie ready. With a countdown from 3, I settled into my on screen persona as the red lights of the cameras went on.
“Good Paw to everyone tuning in! I'm your host as always, Rux Limpbut, and this is Predator problems. This time though, we do have some breaking news that we need to get to. So with that being said, I suppose it's time for me to get to it.”
I straightened my back, placing my paws firmly as I closed my eyes, breathing in and then opening my eyes again.
Alright. Just gotta break the news that the head of state of the other half of our Commonwealth is dead and their Army just decided to seize power for democracy's sake.
“I have some sad, and what some can and should be saying is unsettling, news. Sole Speaker Jikem of the Gaian Cooperative, has died earlier this paw. Details are scarce and hard to come by as of this point, but from preliminary reports and investigations, it seems as though he *may* have been assassinated while at a checkpoint. As many of you know he was elected on a lockstep ticket with the current governor of Venlil Prime, Veln. He oversaw the last closing years of the Dominion-Federation war, as well as the beginning of closer federation ties. Many people are bound to ask as of this point what is going to happen, and the easiest and most truthful answer is…we don't know.”
I shuffled some papers, discarding the packet to the side of the table before continuing on with the information I was to spout out.
“Already reports are coming in that the Armed Forces of Gaia have declared a state of emergency and already there are rumblings that they have formed… an emergency government?”
I gave a bit of a confused look before continuing, I could see the group of uniformed Gaians nodding as I did so, apparently that was good enough for them.
The rest of the news report was generally a bit unsettling, or at least info packed by many people's standards. Updates on the federation at large, some reports on the status of the Venian Commonwealth and what was the plan going forward and before I knew it the red blinking light on the cameras had vanished, and the lights overhead had dimmed.
“Alright, that's good for us. We'll have one of our guys stay over the paw to help your team edit it but other than that? You can head on home.” The bereted one informed me, before signalling to one of the clique, most likely the one to stay here and “help” us edit.
I rested back in my chair and closed my eyes, I think it was time for me to get some shuteye.
—----------
Smoke billows out from the mouth of the Uniformed figure, a lit cigar cradled in his claws. He takes a survey of the trio gathered in front of him.
“So.” The figure grunts out, leaning back into his chair.
“So, what?” One of the trio asks inquisitively, shifting in their seat.
“So now what? Not many paws you get to make a masterstroke of a situation like this. Sole speaker is dead, people are looking to any type of stability and we perfectly fill the slot.” The Uniformed figure takes the cigar up to his mouth, smoking it lightly.
“Well there are numerous concerns.” The most center of the trio speak.
“Like what to do with those brahking predators that apparently still exist.” To the right of the first speaker.
“I vote we integrate them posthaste!” And finally the one on the other end.
A thick billowing cloud of smoke escapes the lips of the Uniformed figure, fidgeting for a moment before rolling forward. His face now fully lit.
“Gentlemen. Calm down. We have plenty of problems with plenty of solutions. But that's why you put me in charge of this little emergency government anyhow right? Levelheaded, warhero, clean political record.”
The trio murmur for a moment before returning a nod, the middle one piping up as he did so.
“Yes, that is why we decided to throw our towel in with you Marshal.”
The Uniformed figure now places his elbows on the table, his paws bridging each other while the cigar is still in-between in his paws.
“That's Marshal-at-Arms Jyuvernik to you. Now where were we? Ah right. The Dark corner. I want you to send a diplomatic team to assess the cattle debacle.”

Hey everyone. 18F here, and I am a current high school senior (so yes, this will be very high school drama-esque). In my area, it's common that, after senior prom, people will go away without parental supervision for the first time for the rest of the weekend.
Earlier this year, I was talking with my cousin and we brainstormed to go to a very similar place in another state as the place most people go tends to be packed and VERY dingy/unsafe because of the type of people such an event attracts. This was a perfect solution, because while I wanted the experience of going somewhere, I'm definitely not the party type and would rather spend the weekend hanging out with friends and relaxing. A few months ago, I ran this idea by my best friend, M (17F). They were really excited by this idea, and the two of us started to plan. We ended up with six people total, including us.
Where the problem comes in is that my friend, M, is also friends with another person, V (17F). V is a very headstrong person that tends to be obnoxious and bossy. She's not a bad person by any means, but is someone that I personally can only handle in small doses. She also tends to take over other peoples' plans, such as taking it upon herself to decide the guest list and everything else for a party she wasn't even hosting, excluding myself and others from the list. She has also borderline bullied me over small things and using her loud voice/bigger figure in a way that would pressure me not to respond or to agree. She has also specifically implied to other people that she does not like me.
I didn't want V to come, because not only do I dislike her, but I fear that she will 'take over' our plans, and make our trip into something it's not. Also, she tends to be a very anxious person, and I do not want her anxiety to be my problem. V tends to be very self-centered, and will bring things that are not about her to make them so that they are. Also, with the obnoxiousness, if I am hypothetically consuming things that wouldn't be particularly allowed, she would only draw attention to our group.
Anyway, the trip. M had half a mind to invite V, but I insisted for reasons above that it was a bad idea, and that V had mentioned she already had plans. This wasn't a total lie, because M did suggest that V was going to go to someone else's house that weekend. After a while, it was apparent that M did feel guilty about not inviting her. I urged her to throw me under the bus and that we were both under the impression that she had other plans, as flaky as they did seem. M did insist on telling V about the trip, which I understood, because she didn't want V to find out over social media and think that M had gone behind her back. Apparently, V didn't respond well, and according to M, she did throw me under the bus as I'd urged her to.
I've been struggling because while I feel O.K. for not inviting V (this trip was my idea, after all), I do feel like a bad friend to M for putting her in the middle.
AITA?

First time poster, long time lurker! I was invited to a summer wedding and the invite says formal/black tie for dress code. It is an evening reception and I have no concerns there. My uncertainty comes in with the ceremony, it is mid afternoon in a church, so there will be several hours between ceremony and reception where guests will have time to kill. Do I wear the same thing I plan to wear to the reception to the church? Do I need two separate dresses for each part of the day? Same question for my husband. Does he wear his suit/tux all day or change in between? Does he need two suits? I don’t know why this feels so confusing to me.

So for context -my partner and I have been dating for half a decade. Our relationship is strong and we are enjoying our time together immensely - he's the love of my life, my favourite laughing partner and just a really special human being I'm honoured to know so deeply. My MIL came accross as a strong personality but seemed delightful and embraced me at first. Over the last few years it has become suspected she has a personality disorder with her "incidents" and behaviour. My partner and I are planning on getting engaged this year and have had this timeline for a very long time. While this should be a very exciting time in my life - I am instead feeling worried, stressed, and down. This MIL is constantly bringing up the concepts of engagement, weddings, and babies at get-togethers which sure is fine but the thing is it feels like she makes an effort to leave me out of it. My partners brother is also proposing this year to his partner which have been dating a few years less than us (super happy for them). My partner also has another sibling that isn't planning on proposing anytime soon and is younger. I have a really good relationship with everyone else in the family including the father (says i'm like a daughter), the siblings, and the partners (we have become friends). My MIL is not only making the maintenance of these relationships hard, but she is making me feel like abolute crap on a consistent basis at family events with how she blatenly treats me poorly compared to others. Here's some examples:

• At family events the MIL will bring up the topic of marriage, babies, moving in, etc. talk about it happening for both other siblings and then completely disregard me and my partner. For instance recently she went on about who shes inviting to the one siblings wedding and then talked about how the other sibling (one not proposing anytime soon)'s would be and then (I kid you not) looked at me, said my partner and I's names and laughed.
• Im telling you at every.single. event. for the past 3 years from the first few months of them dating she is bringing up the other siblings future engagement and how they deserve it so much etc. Cute at first but its very very excessive at this point (and thats me underexagerating). Im talking about begging, and not letting the topic go when no one in the room is reciprocating. Not a peep has been heard about me and my partner in this half a decade of being in the family. - Would I every want it to the extent of the other sibling? no. Do i find it odd and a bit rude? Yes. especially considering the fact that she has known my partner is proposing this year.
• one day she brought down her mothers gold jewlery and was passing it to the other siblings partners and asking what type of ring she wants. Then when that sibling's partner asked me (attempting to include me in the conversation) and I showed pictures of the the ones I tried on and the MIL immediatly went quiet then interrupted and changed the conversation back to the other siblings partner. She acted like I wasn't there and afterwards the other siblings partner said they noticed too.
• when leaving a get together she went out of her way to hug every partner but me.

-When the other sibling's partners arrive an excited voice and questions about work/life are had. Meanwhile, when I arrive it’s a short embrace with very little effort/interest in my life anymore unless it has to do with something that impacts my partner like whether we are going to my house this weekend.

• After not saying a word to me in a room she calls over other siblings partners and has private conversations in the other conjoining room about non-private things.
• (this is wild that im even saying this) I noticed she covers our picture on the mantel up by either putting other siblings and their partners photos in front or a nick nack like a bible verse plaque.

Efforts I have made over the past few years that I think qualify me as a good DIL /her response:

• I have tried doing activities she enjoys with her -making an effort to let her know I care about her and her interests. - a lot out of my comfort zone.
• One of my love languages is gifts/acts of service (I don't expect it in return but I would think she would atleast treat me kindly) - I hand-made the whole family including partners sweaters (while other partners go nothing), every year I make the family yearly recap videos, I also make every family member including her birthday videos where I spend hours collecting photos, and videos from the past with their favourite music - started as something just for my partner but my FIL was so appreciative of it I thought i would do it for everyone. I do something special for her for international womens day and mothers day every year.
• I thank her in cards and have told her many times for raising very kind respectable humans.
• I ask her questions/ listen to her vents about conflicts with friends or family - (which btw she can be very negative about people).
• Myself and my partner both do the most activities with her and go out of our way to visit/help her the most. (ie. going shopping together, visiting her at work)
• I have cleaned her whole kitchen/ made food for the family on my own dime and time.
• Even when we first started dating and I was a broke university student - I would go out of my way to spend money on her and her family because i wanted to and I love them.
• When she would have mental "incidents" ie. leaving the house for a few days, calling family members really horrible names etc. I was the one who would speak sense to my partner and his siblings about how this is a mental health issue and she doesn't really mean it. - I have defended her at her worst.

Most recently:

• invited her to two outings/events things we have done together before - denied
• Asking her about life/work - not holding conversation
• Used to hug me good morning/goodbye - not anymore.
• Blatantly ignoring my prescence in the room when other siblings partners are there/not including me in conversation
• didn't respond to my mothers text and makes very little effort with my family (despite my family having them to our cottage and visiting/checking in - my dad and the FIL are friends) - meanwhile when we are in big groups she is constantly talkig about the other siblings partners parents and going out of her way to invite them to fancy dinners - buy them the most expensive bottle of wine etc. (bc she "wants to make a good impression"). - lol i guess my family wasn't important these past 5 years.

I feel as though my family is treated as less important and I myself am treated as less worthy of engagement or marriage when I have tried my hardest to just be accepted and respected by their family. I have made many efforts to show my care and loyalty to their family but the events I used to look forward to have just turned into sour reminders of how vastly different I am treated.
Some of these things above I have cried, laughed, or both about. There are many more things she has done that have hurt me these past few years of our relationship which I haven't mentioned above by myself and my partner thought were unintentional at the time and not necesary to address. She has love bombed me before which has confused me and made me think i'm over reacting to feeling like she wasn't treating me well/ doesn't like me -but most recently its gotten to the point where I am crying when I get home from every family event because of how prominent her efforts to exclude and bellttle me are.
Me and my partner have great communication and have agreed on the implementation of boundaries such as increased distance if her behaviour progresses etc. and he has offered to say something but I am scared. No matter what, I will have to attend family get to-gethers and I am marrying into this family that I really do love. I get along with the siblings partners so well it's such a shame that her presence leads to her making me feel poorly around them because of how she acts/things she says. I have also suggested she gets more mental support but right now shes attending therapy alone where I don't think she is fully honesst about her incidents/treatment of others. My partner knows she is unwell and we are both upset and tired of this being a thing. I definitely don't want to be overly embraced and put on a pedestal but I think what shes doing currently takes more effort than just acknowledging me and treating me with an ounce of the kindness she gives the others. I am scared to get engaged after her reaction to hearing we have been ring shopping and I am also more scared about the concept of a wedding or having kids as I find she has a tendency to be controlling and I don't want my future kids to see their mom being treated like this or possibly be treated the same. That of course made my partner upset and now don't know where to go from here (hence me referring to reddit) but I know a life with this is not a happy one for me or my partner and I don't deserve it but I love the family and I do love her for who she may be when shes mentally more well and her perseverence in life.

I used to work as an early childhood educator but upon "coming out" (I never formally came out, but when children would ask me why I started "looking like X" I would explain what being NB meant and coworkers would hear), I was met with fear and enmity from the parents/clients. Within a month, new policy changes were put in place that were very obviously targetted towards me that were both transphobic and ignorant of what it meant to be non-binary.
The long and short of it is that, while the children I taught were very understanding and open-minded, the clients and my own coworkers policed me to the point where I was experiencing breakdowns every morning before work, my work quality dropped immensely, and I even dropped out of ECE school because it was (re-)traumatizing to learn how to best support the people who vilified me.
Now the timing of quitting came at the same time that I was able to return to university and finish a degree that I put on pause due to COVID. I am now about to graduate and searching for entry-level office work. I am underemployed and desperate for any full-time work.
Cue, a job posting at an early learning centre for an administrative assistant. I know I'd be a shoe-in to get some office experience and could become comfortable working in a centre if I didn't have to directly educate children or work with the parents as intimately as I used to (which would be re-traumatizing).
But I know if I were to get an interview (here or somewhere else) I would likely have to tackle why I haven't returned to being an educator (I currently have a "gap" in my resume because I'm working retail but I exclude my current job from my resume) at the very least while searching for admin work.
How do I best tackle this question? Also, how do I deal with scenarios where they may call my previous employer? My previous employer only knows me by my dead name and would likely not put good words in for me.

Hello,
I am 20 years old, and currently an undergraduate in my second year of university studying a BSc in Wildlife Ecology and Conservation science in the UK.
This September, I begin a nine month placement yeainternship at an eco resort in Australian rainforest, before completing my final year of university. Although not as closely linked to conservation as I’d like, the internship will hopefully provide me with guide experience, whilst learning about and exploring exciting new wildernesses (something the UK mostly lacks).
Besides doing some travelling, and hopefully some conservation based volunteering (in the realm of surveying and monitoring), I have no plans after university. Since being a kid and watching the likes of Steve Backshall and Gordon Buchanan, the idea of going on remote expeditions to carry out research tasks has always appealed to me. I understand it can be desirable to specialise in a certain field to be accepted/invited to these teams, but would anyone know what sort of fields I should specialise in, or any other qualifications, certifications and career paths I can take that could be beneficial in achieving this?
Any opinions would be welcomed and appreciated!

Long time lurker, first time redditoposter. I've been listening and reading a lot of these horror stories and figured it might be fun to share mine.
I haven't actually played a game of DnD or DnD adjacent since about 2020/2021, mostly because of what transpired during the games I actually did play before that. I love the concept, I love creating characters and stories and worlds, but I get a pit in my stomach when I actually try to play again.
I had my first opportunity to play DnD my freshman year of college. I dropped in on the campus tabletop club and I was quite anxious. I was the only girl in the room, everyone seemed to have known each other or clicked well, but I wanted to branch out of my comfort zone. The first night went well! We played a very quick heist one shot where we made a character with one flaw and one interesting trait. Through unfortunate rolls and circumstances, we had a TPK, but it was a fun time. I was invited afterwards to join a Pathfinder campaign that a few of the members were going to start up for the new semester, and so I scheduled a time to meet with the DM and create my first full fledged character.
Now, the DM was kind of eccentric, a little whack if you will but very excited to help me make my first character. I thought he was just goofy and really into the game. God I wish I picked up on all the red flags that would come.
He first asked me what kind of race I'd like to play as. I had always been drawn to tiefling characters because I liked the aesthetic. His eyes lit up at that for some reason. Then he asked what class I'd like; if I'd like to be primarily a support or tank or what have you. I didn't want to get overwhelmed in my first game and thought support might be nice. I could watch how combat worked while just keeping everyone going and buffed. I said let's try bard! The grin that crept up on his face...
He immediately started talking about how saucy that would be, how my character would be so flirty and fun. I expressed some discomfort in having my character immediately fall into the "h*rny bard" category I had seen meme'd on so much, but he laughed and waved it off by saying he "was a theater kid in high school! Everyone was super h*orny and making out backstage all the time. It just comes with the environment!" Being a new player, and wanting to fit in, I pushed down my discomfort and thought okay, I'll play her as a joke character I guess.
For awhile it was fine, I got to play her as a dancelyre player who was part of a traveling circus. Nothing weird was coming up the first few sessions. Most of the other PCs either joined together by taking quests from the town job board, or had ties built in to their backstory. My first red flag should have been that the DM, despite constantly raving about all his planning, was frequently skipping around the story. He would suddenly decide the plot point we were on wasn't interesting enough for some reason, and just throw us into another scenario. We left so many lose ends because he just didn't feel like finishing them, regardless of if we were engaging in it or not. But hey, he's the DM right? That's what I thought, he had the right to change it. I had no prior experience to see this was just bad DMing.
We ended up joining an archery competition as we were tempted by a mystery grand prize. At the sign up table, out of nowhere, the DMPC attending to registration suddenly starts flirting with my character. I got flustered in a negative way because this DM got very into character (giving me looks, leaning in as he spoke to me, the whole shebang). I panicked, all of a sudden being the focus of a room full of men seeing how I'd react to it. I again, stupidly, went along with it. I had her (nervously) flirt back lightly, and I was relieved it didn't go much further at that point. Skipping to the end of the archery competition, my bard ended up in the final two and sabotaged an assassination on the town's mayor mid competition. The party was invited to a celebratory dinner at the mayor's house afterwards, where we once again ran into the NPC that flirted with my character at registration. He invited her to bed, and again I got extremely uncomfortable and flustered. None of this was discussed beforehand, nor was I even asked if I was comfortable with such topics before joining the campaign. The guys at the table were egging me on, and I felt pressured to accept. With a few hoots and hollers, we had a fade to black scene (thank god). I went home feeling very icky, but convinced myself I was being a wimp. And the table had enjoyed my antics that night, so I should be grateful.
I had the thought between sessions to write in a childhood friends to lovers interest for my bard to try and avoid any more unexpected encounters like that again, thinking if the DM had another character to play as with some personal tie to my bard, that would make be feel better about the interactions. He was brought up once, where I milked the f*ck out of my character's attachment to him, hoping to drive home that this was juicy potential relationship to build over the campaign. He never came up again during that campaign. The DM also completely disregarded many of the notes I gave him detailing this love interest's personality, and took many 'creative liberties' with him, but not enough where I would decide to say something.
Another few sessions happened where we struggled through the DMs inconsistent storytelling and jumping around to whatever plot point had his interest at the moment. He was constantly putting us in fights we could not hope to win, way too challenging for our lvl. 1-3 party. We often sat around the table in disappointment and defeat as we got absolutely destroyed by monsters (no one being able to land hits for sometimes 3-4 rounds at a time because of how high the AC or CR was), while the DM laughed and basked in the dreary nature of the table. He would usually eventually fudge rolls to give us an out when we were close to TPKs. He even gave us a deck of many things and insisted our PCs "felt compelled" to pull cards despite the players disagreeing they that wanted to. He attempted to force my character to drastically change her alignment to an evil one for shits and giggles because of one card pull (later allowed me to ignore it because I didn't even WANT to use the deck), and got three of us killed by having them pull a card that summoned the highest CR monster you could use.
One night he texts the group chat that he decided he's done running that story, and wants to run another one shot instead. We had one last session to "close" that first campaign and discuss the one shot options. During our meeting, he gleefully admitted to me that he had planned for my bard to get PREGNANT in that one night stand with the NPC from the archery competition. Not only did he plan to do that without my consent or knowledge, he had planned for it to be a HAG baby that would have entirely f*cked my PC up (he explained it as the man having been a witch in disguise or something?? And said that's how hags are made? Which to my knowledge is entirely incorrect. Maybe it was a homebrew rule, but regardless, I was mortified. And now very grateful he lost interest in that campaign).
Moving on to the one shot, another player decided to try DMing, and so the Problem DM had a chance to be a PC, yay! He privately messaged me and asked if I'd be interested in connecting our characters and their backstories. I said yes and we got to work. We spent a few nights discussing their dynamic and I was really excited to go into this game. Well, come the night of the session, we were going around the table introducing our characters. The Problem DM went before me, and introduced an entirely different character than the one we discussed, and one that would often almost kill us during the one shot (to which the guy would cackle and mock us for getting upset each time). I asked him what happened to our plan, and he said earlier that day he decided he wanted to do something different. I sighed and let it go, because at least it was just a one shot and my character could still function without his connection to the other PC. Another one shot where the Problem DM got to be a PC, he seemed to make it his goal to be the biggest asshole to everyone else's character. My PC was an archaeologist, and when she excitedly discovered some old pottery in a dungeon, he had his PC run up and smash everything and laugh in her face.
The next campaign we tried that had issues was a Starfinder campaign. Our party was considered its own crew for a space ship, plus one DMPC that was placed into the mix supposedly to help us if we fell short, since we were all unfamiliar with Starfinder and spaceship battle mechanics. She was honestly a really cool character! And we had one or two sessions to establish the story and how the crew interacted. Now, this was my mistake, not taking any of the other creepy habits of the DM into consideration, but I offhandedly mentioned to the table at large that my PC (a woman) might be developing a crush on this DMPC (also a woman). They had gone through a lot together in-game at that point and it felt natural. The next session, you'll never guess, the DMPC started flirting hard core with my character. I was confused and asked the DM what that was about, as we had never had any interactions between those two that would be read as romantic. Even if I mentioned my character was crushing, she had never let it on, and the DMPC had never indicated she felt a similar pull as well. The DM didn't really have an explanation, just that apparently in-universe, the DMPC had been flirting more and more with my character since their last adventure together alone. I thought, okay, I guess...
Honestly? What transpired would have been an insanely cool plot twist if we had had the time to actually roleplay and develop the relationship between my character and the DMPC, as well as the crew at large and the DMPC. She ended up being part of a cult that wanted to steal an artifact we had acquired. She was apparently trying to 'romance' my PC because my PC was the one who often guarded the artifact, and needed her to let her guard down. It would have been a super impactful betrayal, but it was literally only a handful of sessions between the first meeting, and the plot twist. We just had to trust the DMs word that we had all gotten super attached to her between actual session meetings and we all should feel like we were stabbed in the back by this trusted individual. And I especially should feel heartbroken because she never really was interested in me anyway.
Later on down the line, despite some very interesting story points, it got creepy again. Our PCs ended up being sucked into a death game show, and isolated from the outside world while being broadcast to universal TV stations. At some point we were all given access to the internet after a few weeks in isolation to search up anything we wanted. Everyone searched up their names among other things. The DM described us finding our newly formed fanbases. He described the other PCs fanbases (men played by men) as having hot debates on their intelligence and decisions during the show, or bets on if they'd be the last ones standing; that sort of stuff. He described my fanbase as leering creeps saying the most unhinged things about what they wanted my PC to do to them s*xually, as well as some spreading photos of my PC without her face covering (she was a Kasatha, which canonically keep their mouths covered. But she had been forced to remove it briefly when it almost waterboarded her after she fell into a river).
Eventually, we weren't able to meet consistently enough to warrant running campaigns anymore, and I fell out of touch with all involved. Oh, we also lost a player at some point right after he confessed to me and I declined his interest.
I went another year not playing before another friend group of mine invited me to play as a guest character. I thought this would be a nice way to ease back into the game slowly after my horrid experiences before. Rather than make an entirely new character for one or two sessions, I brought back my tiefling bard because I still really liked her character, and had started to reshape her personality without being pressured to have her be a s*xual chess piece. The new DM dropped my character in a labyrinth their current party had been trapped in for awhile. I was made to be a level or two higher and be an ally they encountered to help them escape. We did, it was fun! But I was only there as a guest, and had only planned my character to be in one to two sessions before leaving. I was consistently mentioning to the party that my PC would be leaving as soon as they get to her major city, but either they didn't think I was serious or didn't remember. I may have been convinced to come on full time, but unfortunately, history repeats itself. We got to a session where the party got to a tavern and drowned their sorrows and nursed their labyrinth bruises with beer, and the idea of a threesome was thrown in the air between my PC and two others. Now, half of this group were dating someone else in the group, and seemed very comfortable roleplaying casual s*x between their PCs because of it. They started a damn chant pressuring me to say yes, already trying to roleplay it, and I felt sick. I was too anxious at the idea of saying no with how aggressive everyone was for me to agree, so I tried to "roll for yes or no" as an out; the dice failed me, and it rolled a number assigned to yes. I was very quiet the rest of the session, and afterwards messaged the DM that I want my character to leave at the beginning of the next session.
The DM then tried to convince me to stay, despite me saying a clear no multiple times within the same conversation. They begged me to stay saying the party loved my PC a lot, and they would hate to lose me. When they finally relented, they then tried to smoothly transition to talk of making me a new character so I could permanently stay with the party, without compromising my bards story and decision. I kind of got on their case about that, and told them to stop pressuring me and I did not want to play with that group anymore. Eventually, they gave up, but not without some low key guilt tripping.
I tried playing with one more group after this, and while it didn't get creepy, it was also a disappointment as none of the players seemed to care besides me and the DM, despite everyone having encouraged starting the game because they wanted to learn how to play for the first time. Players slowly started ghosting us, drama happened between two players that joined just to have an excuse to talk and try and date (which ended up very messy and they both left), and the new players would get angry at me or the DM if they got confused with the rules or combat dynamics (the wizard rushed ahead of me, the tank barbarian, and then acted like it was my fault when they nearly got killed in the first round because "the tank is supposed to protect the damage dealers").
The DM and I stayed in contact after all the other players ghosted the chat, and ended up bringing over some other new players who had also played before, and re hauled the campaign. This one had so much promise...then quarantine hit, and we couldn't keep up with regular meetings.
At this point, with all my games ending with creeps, messy player dynamics or falling through, I decided maybe these kinds of games weren't for me.
I have new friends now inviting me to play, who have very functional groups (experienced professional DMs, closeknit friend groups, long-running campaigns), but I am too wary to accept any more offers for games, despite deep down really wanting to try again and be part of something I know can be amazing. Maybe I will one day, but until then, I just have these horror stories to think about.

Hello everyone!
I am a Bride2Be, and I want to post this not only to ask for advice but also to raise awareness.
My fiancé and I are planning to have our wedding in the Philippines, and we hired a Wedding Coordinator (WC) a year ago. Recently, I came across a review from another bride about a supplier that my WC recommended to me. The bride mentioned the price they paid for the exact package I am interested in. I was surprised because the package prices my WC sent me were different. Acting on my suspicion, I sent an anonymous inquiry to the supplier, and they provided me with a set of prices that are 4,000-5,000 pesos lower than what my WC quoted.
I have already paid a substantial amount for FULL COORDINATION (Package details below), so why are there still under-the-table deals to get more money out of me (the client)? If there is a referral fee, it should come from the supplier, not as an extra cost on top of the prices that are not disclosed to the client.
It's worth mentioning that before hiring my WC, I had already booked 30% of the suppliers for our wedding. As a hands-on bride, I've been looking for suppliers and most of the time, I contacted and booked them myself, even after hiring her. I made her job easier and I've been very reasonable and trusting.
What can I do in this situation? I believe this is a shady practice, and my WC is not acting in my best interest. I think she is taking advantage of me because I am an overseas bride.
___________________________________________________________________ Full Coordination PACKAGE 80,000 pesos CONTRACT SIGNED AND PAID
Preparation:

• Assist in determining and planning the budget and help manage to stay within the budget.
• Monitoring wedding timeline spreadsheet
• Assist in finding the perfect location: Church or Ceremony Venue, Reception Venue and/ or Caterer
• Refer and set-up appointment with various pre-screened Vendors: Wedding Gowns; Caterer, Printer, Florist, Cakes, Photographer, Videographers, Bridal Car, Sound System and other bridal needs to the last details.
• Assist in negotiations and reviewing contracts with vendors.
• Assist with wedding documentations (Limited to submitting of requirements only)
• Follow – ups and overall coordination with booked suppliers (through emails, phone calls and meetings)
• Monitoring and Management of deposits / balances /payments made to suppliers by the client.
• Assist in reviewing wordings and addressing of invitations.
• Assist in advising & coordinating schedules for measurements, fittings, pre-nups, trial make-ups and other wedding related appointments
• Recommend and source out gifts for the principal sponsors and bridal entourage
• Plan and coordinate Wedding Rehearsal if necessary. (additional payment)
• Coordinate and confirm with all the vendors chosen in reviewing details of arrangements.
• Instruct all attendants of their duties during the ceremony and reception
• Assist in conceptualizing Wedding reception program and preparing the wedding day timetable

Wedding Day

• 7 Professional Coordinators
• Head Coordinator
• Bride Manager
• Groom Manager
• Church Coordinator
• Program Manager
• Assist couple in confirming details, services, and final agreements with wedding suppliers (banquet manager, florist/event stylist, photographer. videographer, cake designer, musicians/band/strings/sound system, gown designer, stationer etc.)
• Assist in reviewing service contracts of previously booked suppliers
• Guest management and Registration, floor plan layout, and seating arrangements
• Provide an outline with exact time of reception program
• Help organize and route ceremony and reception materials (e.g. gifts for principal sponsors, entourage, offertory materials, souvenirs, etc.)
• Provide a CREW MEAL REPORT to the client for actual advice on cash allowances or meals required by supplier
• Preparation of church processional

Hello! I have never used Reddit before, and I wasn't quite sure what to title this post, or what subreddit to put it in.
I have a half sister, and recently it has been bothering me that I do not know anything about her at all. She in is pictures from when I was little, playing with me and my brother, however I do not remember her much but from photos she often played with us. If I had to guess, she was a teenager or in her 20s when I was a toddleyoung child (and now I am in my late teens). My parents have zero contact with her due to an unfortunate situation in which she had stolen from them and other members of my family (I think she was a little bit troubled growing up with a strange environment on her mother's side - she is my Dad's daughter - and it resulted in her doing bad things. I don't think I can fully blame her for much that happened for them to fall out as there are probably two sides to every story, but I know it was very upsetting for my Dad and apparently she was quite nasty to him). Additionally, I know that after everything happened my Dad tried to contact her / keep in contact with her which resulted in very little, and that her mother often tried to manipulate her against him or would not make her aware of his reaching out.
This is honestly all I know of the situation and it troubles me deeply that I know so little. I haven't asked my parents much about it as I know it upsets them (mainly my Dad, I truly cannot remember a time he has every mentioned her name) and that I haven't really cared at all about the fact I have a sister until the past couple of years. It didn't really hit me until around 2021/2022 that I should have a sister and I don't due to things that happened when I was too little to understand, now all I have of her are old photos and the knowledge that we would play hide and seek a lot.
I decided to search from her online a bit after I turned 18, sparked by a boy I knew who's own Dad reached out to tell him on his 18th birthday that he actually had a half brother which made me wonder for some reason why my sister has never reached out to me. When I turned 18 I felt a little as if someone owed it to me, as if she should message me since I'm an adult now. I found her Facebook and Instagram, but she was private on both / had no posts. I only knew it was definitely her as the accounts had the same profile picture and a few of my family members also followed her Instagram account. It shocked me seeing her face, I thought she was beautiful and looked nothing like me (except maybe the eyes) and it felt like there was this whole person that I deserved to know, apart from some photographs, that is now a grown woman. It hit me quite hard after that, like I finally understood she was a real person.
For some clarification, some of my Dad's side of the family are still in contact with her (I am assuming). I didn't know this until I was maybe 15, and my parents didn't exactly know it either. I don't think my Dad was upset his family were in contact and seeing her, more that he was not involved in the process (his family isn't the nicest/it's a weird situation that is too much too unpack here). It happened when we were at a cousin's birthday party and suddenly my parents were extremely uncomfortable, and after an hour or two we got my brother (who was it the other room) and left. Turns out, my Dad's side of the family had invited her to this party without telling him, and she was there in the other room. Sat next to my brother and my Nan, whilst my brother was completely unaware. He had no idea who she was, and none of our family had decided to tell him? That is a specific part I cannot get over.
Anyways. I've just found her LinkedIn profile, and I am honestly desperate to know anything about her as there isn't anything online at all other than her name and a few photos (most of which from the 2010's). The whole situation just upsets me deeply. Why hasn't she reached out at all? I get why she would have reserves, maybe she doesn't want to, but it still hurts me that I have zero connection with her, know nothing about her but her name, because I should have a sister!!! It also makes me angry, because she is a grown woman now and was so much older than me at the time and why would she not want to make me aware of her, and I now constantly find myself dwelling on if she even thinks about me at all.
I know I should ask my parents (probably my Mum) about the whole thing, maybe explain my upset about it, however I am currently at University and I feel like it is more of a face to face conversation. I also do not get to see my Dad's side of the family much at all, and I would really never go to one of them about it as it would feel like a betrayal to my parents instead of just asking them. There is also the fear at the back of my mind that I will somehow run into members of my Dad's side of the family and that they are with her, and I will be totally unprepared for it.
I don't know. I don't want to reach out myself. I don't even know if I am posting this in the right place. Just a bit of a vent (my friends vaguely know I have a half sister but I've never gotten into it much and don't want to drop the conversation on them), as well as asking for some advice or if anyone has ever had a similar situation. Thanks for reading if you have.
TLDR: I have a semi-estranged (?) half sister and I don't really know what to do about it

It started with musing on my ideal romantic day: a warm afternoon spent between cool sheets with a loving partner; listening to our favorite records and singing our favorite songs; hugging and kissing the day away. Whatever came after would be irrelevant because we would still have that moment. Then, in a flash, I realized this to be the focus, the inception, of the Church of Romance. Partners and consenting adults would form our congregation, and our holy relics would be a turntable and a pair of speakers. The congregation would make offerings of their favorite pressed vinyls, and services would proceed as described above, preferably in a large open space with dozens of fresh mattresses. The more zealous practitioners might imbibe psilocybin and cannabis to more fully experience the Sabbath's grandeur. Worshippers would leave feeling refreshed and at peace, ready to face the week's rigors knowing the support of the community would be waiting for them. For what could be more universal than love and music?!?! But my next thought was of how the Church would be perceived and eventually labeled. Drug-addled, perverted, polygamous fornicators; New-Age free love hippies with no real beliefs and no discernible benefit to God or country. Then would come the forced disbandings, public ostracization, and the eventual crushing of the Church's spirit and self... And so the Church of Romance died as it had lived- while I was listening to side A of Weezer's Teal album. Specifically, while listening to their cover of "Take On Me," but ironically not during their cover of "Happy Together."

Hey guys,
as stated in the title, I am looking for a language exchange partner for korean. I know there are some apps like hellotalk to also find language exchange partners directly, but had bad experience in the past so I wanted to give it a go here.
I am required to take a non indo-germanic language at some point throughout my bachelor degree and was strongly considering korean for it. I do want to move to korea eventually for my masters and/or phd since I will be specialising in prehistoric archaeology of east asia/ or the korean peninsula. Many of the textes on these subjects are only available in korean so it is the most reasonable to actually take this language for university classes too. The issue is that according to many people I have spoken with, the korean I course at my university seems to be tremendously difficult and the teacher not that great. I self-studied grammar and a bit vocabulary when I was a teenager and did a language course in Seoul, but lost most of my limited knowledge between then and now. I find grammar very enjoyable bur have troubles memorising vocabulary if not used regualrly.
For a language exchange partner, I could offer both german and english (native german speaker and between C1 and C2 in english). Age wise I would prefer someone in their twenties since it would be easier to connect with and I'm in my beginning-mid twenties as well. Ideally I would prefer to be friends that generally have similar interests since I think learning through shared activities and hobbies would be much more beneficial then just sitting down to study by book every time. My interests are in gaming, anime, webtoons, going to the gym/martial arts, mangas, series, music (especially indie pop) and museums/archaeology/flea markets.
If this sounded intetesting to you, I would be happy to see your message :)

Tomb Squadron isn't just another organization; it's a community of like-minded individuals who share a passion for exploration, combat, industry and camaraderie in the Star Citizen universe. As a member of Tomb Squadron, you'll be part of a dedicated team, working together to achieve our goals and make a mark in the galaxy.
What we offer:
•Unity and Teamwork
•Varied Roles (Industrial, ground & ship Combat and Exploration)
•Shared Resources
•Tactical Training
•Roleplay and Storytelling
Joining Tomb Squadron is more than just becoming a member of an organization; it's about becoming part of a legacy, a community of passionate individuals united by a shared vision. We believe that your unique skills and perspective would be a valuable addition to our squadron, and we're eager to embark on this journey with you.
If you're ready to take the next step and join Tomb Squadron, simply reply to this message or visit our headquarters at the Terra system-planet Terra-Prime City in-game. Our officers will be ready to assist you with the recruitment process and answer any questions you may have.
Thank you for considering our invitation. We look forward to welcoming you aboard Tomb Squadron and forging a bright future together in the Star Citizen universe.
Fly safe and see you among the stars!
Warm regards,
The Tomb Squadron. GMT/UTC time zones
Discord: https://discord.com/invite/2ZdybjaVwW
Rsi: https://robertsspaceindustries.com/orgs/TOMBSQUAD

So, I cheated on my boyfriend, yes that was my mistake, feel free to judge me personally, but this post is not about that.
TLDR; I ruined the life of a guy I was cheating with and he wanted to ruin mine
Mid of January, I (23M) met this guy (let’s call him D, 35M) on Grindr. I told him straight away that I have a boyfriend (let’s call him F, 45M), so we thought it was just going to be a one-off thing. My boyfriend was visiting his family for a month at that time, a good 12 hours flight from where we are. I lied to him that my boyfriend is okay with me meeting someone else behind his back as long as it didn’t become anything serious. Actually, my boyfriend told me that I’m free to meet anyone else so long he didn’t know, but I’m sure he didn’t mean that as he told me this in a fight.
A was everything my boyfriend wasn’t. F and I were on a rough patch, and communication always became a dead end. He was intimate, and communicative. He desired me and didn’t make me feel lonely in the relationship. Moreover, D wanted to do some sexual things that F didn’t want to do with me. The closer we were, the more intimate we became. Drunk with rose-tinted glasses, I started saying pillow talks that we’ll get married and started naming our children. D paid for almost everything as I was between jobs.
A bit of backstory. D was not originally from this country (Ireland), neither do I nor F. D was here on a study visa, and his visa is about to expire. He met someone almost 2 years ago that broke his heart, and he was in a terrible mental state since, taking medications for anxiety and depression. Last year around December, he took a healing trip around Europe and met this other guy (let’s call him G, 50+M). They met in a beautiful country in the Mediterranean (although G is from another country), so D wanted to move to that country so he could be closer to G.
Anyway, because he was with me and he thought we'd be together, he refused this job (he didn’t get the offer but got an interview for it), and applied to a university (in a course he didn’t want) just so he can renew his visa. He also urged me to break up with F, but I wasn’t sure. F eventually returned, and I said I wanted to be separated from him for a while (in my mind, I didn’t know if D would be able to stay here), and left his place the next morning to D’s place. That day, I ended things with D, because my heart feels very burdened, and I felt like I made the wrong choice. I went back to F’s place.
D then continued to bomb my phone with messages, saying he couldn’t believe this was happening. Eventually, he begged me to meet him one last time for a breakfast to talk things through, and I agreed. I met him in a quite fancy restaurant (for me at least), with flowers, a card, etc. In the end, I melted and when he asked me if we can try this one more time, and he’s willing to be “the guy I’m cheating with”, I foolishly agreed. This was mid February.
From then, he has been trying his best to win my heart, taking me on dates, etc. My mind told me that I should just go with D because 1) he’s come out, and F hasn’t, 2) he loves PDA, while F can’t, and 3) D wants to marry me, while F is already married to a woman. F has been separated from his wife for a few years now, can’t divorce her for many reasons, one of which is because he had children with her. He lives full time with me, even though when his family visited he had to hide me and our things which hurt me in the past.
Anyway, even with all that, I just can’t shake off this wrong feeling. So by the end of March, after D being all jealous the whole month, I broke it off with him. The reason I just realized now: all those feelings that I love with D, I want it from F. And ever since he returned mid February, he’s been nothing but that, so I felt content.
Since we live in the same town, I met D every once in a while accidentally, like in a bus or in a hospital. I have told all these stories to my good friend (let’s call him K, 24M) from work, who had met D but not yet F at that point. I also didn’t come clean to F.
One day, about 3 weeks ago, K told me that he wanted me to go with him and his date to a gay club (he wasn’t feeling safe, and this is after their private lunch). I said yes, because I had nothing to do that day. He then told me that D is coming as well (I forgot if K invited him first or D invited himself before me when he asked K for a gay club recommendation). I had a bad feeling, but eventually said fuck it, what’s gonna happen?
D and I met there. It was awkward, but as the drinks started to take effect, and I started to become tipsy, he asked me if we wanted to “have fun for tonight and forget the next morning”. I agreed. We did have fun dancing (no sex) that night, and he came back to my place, not with the intention to have sex at all (at least from me). Me, still tipsy, was asked by him what happened between us, and one thing led to another… Still no sex, but he came to the conclusion that I manipulated him (love bombing). He asked me if this is true. With the evidence in front of me, I said yes, even though in hindsight, that was never my intention.
From the beginning, I wished that the relationship between me and him was just a hookup, or FWB at best. When romantic feelings started to develop, I genuinely thought that I wanted to be with D. Never once did I think I wanted to play with his feelings or life. But the actions that I did, that he described, is manipulation. So that’s why I said yes.
He got really angry, and threatened me with many things. I was having a panic attack, but he ended that night saying that he forgave me and that he won’t do anything that will harm me. Later on, he texted me that he thinks I have a mental illness (which I also think I have, but I’m still waiting for the diagnosis (my next appointment with a psychiatrist)).
I had forgotten about him, until last week when F left the apartment to buy some groceries in a suspicious manner. I was working from home that day, so I was too busy to worry. I did ask him after about half an hour, and he said he’s gonna come back soon, but I again became preoccupied with work and I didn’t realize he'd been gone for 1.5 hours. I then started to worry that maybe F met with D (something that D has threatened me with as he knows where we live and where F works), so I texted K. He told me to go check, because maybe it was not related and F is in an unrelated danger. But before I left the apartment, D said he’s going to return my stuff.
By then, I knew they met, and lo and behold when I was about to go downstairs I saw them coming upstairs together.
After letting D in, he unpacked his bag and showed F stuff related to us, pictures, gifts. He then unloaded his anger, saying that I ruined his life by manipulating him, that I’m selfish, and that I didn’t regret what had happened so I’m mentally ill. F at this point was trying to calm D down, fearing our safety (bless him). Then, after D left, F and I had the talk.
Basically, F knew from about a week before that. He just focused on trying to calm D, and asked D to not let me know that he’d known because “he didn’t want to see me ashamed in front of him (F)”. D, who’s really set on ruining my life back, didn’t care. But, it was fine for a couple of days, I apologized and put in effort to fix the relationship.
Until D suddenly rang me that he’s outside and he wanted to talk. That day, I just started working, and K was coming over to work together from home for a couple of days. He came in, and told me to pay back what I owe him (around 5kUSD) because he applied to the college because of me. I said yes, and he was about to leave. I went to K (who was in another room closer to the front door avoiding all these because I told him to), and without realizing I said “what the fuck” to him. I also thought it was not loud, but maybe because the situation made the apartment quiet, me and K think D heard. Either that, or he was just really angry, he already left the front door but he barged in again before F could close the door and punched me in the face.
He punched me again a few times on my arms, chest and side belly, until F tried to stop him. I didn’t punch him back, but I did almost kick him because he didn’t let me go. He pushed me back, and F almost fell and hit his head if not for K saving him. F then told me to move away for a bit. I called the police at this point, in case he went berserk. F was recording everything from the get go (voice, legal). Honestly, up until this point, I’m still on the fence about going through with this and going to the police. I also sent about 1kUSD to D while F was trying to calm him down.
The three of us then talk again. D told me that he was looking for me around the city today, and that I was lucky he didn’t see me because he “didn’t know what he’d be doing to me if he saw me, either to punch me and humiliate me in front of many people, or to throw me under the bus”. Now, I was (am) genuinely scared. He also told us that he has been having more severe mental issues, couldn’t eat or sleep, shaking, almost fainted at work. He had to take a higher dose of his medications for anxiety and depression. He left, I was having a quick chat with F that I called the police and he told me not to press charges in case this makes D goes ballistic, and queue the police come (just about 15 seconds after D left the apartment). I believe the police saw his back.
Eventually I didn’t press charges, the police took note of what was happening and a quick background story, and they told me to block him. I’ve blocked him and told my friends to not block him but hide their social media posts from him.
F is in a bad situation now. In the morning after and every morning after that, he was his normal self, caring and all, but after he comes home from work he’s been quiet and stressed. I believe this is partially him trying to process everything and him worrying that D will make another issue, specifically with him at work, and that he’ll be found out that he’s gay. F asked me to run away to a different city just to avoid D if anything were to happen again, but when I asked if he still wanted to try and make this work he said yes.
Honestly, I don’t know what to do.

Hi everyone! I’m a prospective 2026 applicant dedicating this summer to writing my personal statement (materials are due in December to receive a letter packet + portfolio from my school). For background, I was diagnosed with hEDS, Pain Amplification Syndrome, POTS, and a lot of other issues after sustaining my first concussion eight years ago. As a result of my experience, I decided to become a chronic pain advocate several years ago— currently, I serve on a peer advisory board and guest speaker for a pediatric pain rehabilitation workshop program, and I also serve as a panel member for a NIH HEAL initiative. These two experiences are major parts of my journey to medicine. How do I go about talking about chronic pain advocacy without focusing too much on my personal pain and disability? My personal experience has also been important, but advocacy has been the most fulfilling part of my life.

So, I cheated on my boyfriend, yes that was my mistake, feel free to judge me personally, but this post is not about that.
TLDR; I ruined the life of a guy I was cheating with and he wanted to ruin mine
Mid of January, I (23M) met this guy (let’s call him D, 35M) on Grindr. I told him straight away that I have a boyfriend (let’s call him F, 45M), so we thought it was just going to be a one-off thing. My boyfriend was visiting his family for a month at that time, a good 12 hours flight from where we are. I lied to him that my boyfriend is okay with me meeting someone else behind his back as long as it didn’t become anything serious. Actually, my boyfriend told me that I’m free to meet anyone else so long he didn’t know, but I’m sure he didn’t mean that as he told me this in a fight.
A was everything my boyfriend wasn’t. F and I were on a rough patch, and communication always became a dead end. He was intimate, and communicative. He desired me and didn’t make me feel lonely in the relationship. Moreover, D wanted to do some sexual things that F didn’t want to do with me. The closer we were, the more intimate we became. Drunk with rose-tinted glasses, I started saying pillow talks that we’ll get married and started naming our children. D paid for almost everything as I was between jobs.
A bit of backstory. D was not originally from this country, neither do I nor F. D was here on a study visa, and his visa is about to expire. He met someone almost 2 years ago that broke his heart, and he was in a terrible mental state since, taking medications for anxiety and depression. Last year around December, he took a healing trip around Europe and met this other guy (let’s call him G, 50+M). They met in a beautiful country in the Mediterranean (although G is from another country), so D wanted to move to that country so he could be closer to G.
Anyway, because he was with me and he thought we'd be together, he refused this job (he didn’t get the offer but got an interview for it), and applied to a university (in a course he didn’t want) just so he can renew his visa. He also urged me to break up with F, but I wasn’t sure. F eventually returned, and I said I wanted to be separated from him for a while (in my mind, I didn’t know if D would be able to stay here), and left his place the next morning to D’s place. That day, I ended things with D, because my heart feels very burdened, and I felt like I made the wrong choice. I went back to F’s place.
D then continued to bomb my phone with messages, saying he couldn’t believe this was happening. Eventually, he begged me to meet him one last time for a breakfast to talk things through, and I agreed. I met him in a quite fancy restaurant (for me at least), with flowers, a card, etc. In the end, I melted and when he asked me if we can try this one more time, and he’s willing to be “the guy I’m cheating with”, I foolishly agreed. This was mid February.
From then, he has been trying his best to win my heart, taking me on dates, etc. My mind told me that I should just go with D because 1) he’s come out, and F hasn’t, 2) he loves PDA, while F can’t, and 3) D wants to marry me, while F is already married to a woman. F has been separated from his wife for a few years now, can’t divorce her for many reasons, one of which is because he had children with her. He lives full time with me, even though when his family visited he had to hide me and our things which hurt me in the past.
Anyway, even with all that, I just can’t shake off this wrong feeling. So by the end of March, after D being all jealous the whole month, I broke it off with him. The reason I just realized now: all those feelings that I love with D, I want it from F. And ever since he returned mid February, he’s been nothing but that, so I felt content.
Since we live in the same town, I met D every once in a while accidentally, like in a bus or in a hospital. I have told all these stories to my good friend (let’s call him K, 24M) from work, who had met D but not yet F at that point. I also didn’t come clean to F.
One day, about 3 weeks ago, K told me that he wanted me to go with him and his date to a gay club (he wasn’t feeling safe, and this is after their private lunch). I said yes, because I had nothing to do that day. He then told me that D is coming as well (I forgot if K invited him first or D invited himself before me when he asked K for a gay club recommendation). I had a bad feeling, but eventually said fuck it, what’s gonna happen?
D and I met there. It was awkward, but as the drinks started to take effect, and I started to become tipsy, he asked me if we wanted to “have fun for tonight and forget the next morning”. I agreed. We did have fun dancing (no sex) that night, and he came back to my place, not with the intention to have sex at all (at least from me). Me, still tipsy, was asked by him what happened between us, and one thing led to another… Still no sex, but he came to the conclusion that I manipulated him (love bombing). He asked me if this is true. With the evidence in front of me, I said yes, even though in hindsight, that was never my intention.
From the beginning, I wished that the relationship between me and him was just a hookup, or FWB at best. When romantic feelings started to develop, I genuinely thought that I wanted to be with D. Never once did I think I wanted to play with his feelings or life. But the actions that I did, that he described, is manipulation. So that’s why I said yes.
He got really angry, and threatened me with many things. I was having a panic attack, but he ended that night saying that he forgave me and that he won’t do anything that will harm me. Later on, he texted me that he thinks I have a mental illness (which I also think I have, but I’m still waiting for the diagnosis (my next appointment with a psychiatrist)).
I had forgotten about him, until last week when F left the apartment to buy some groceries in a suspicious manner. I was working from home that day, so I was too busy to worry. I did ask him after about half an hour, and he said he’s gonna come back soon, but I again became preoccupied with work and I didn’t realize he'd been gone for 1.5 hours. I then started to worry that maybe F met with D (something that D has threatened me with as he knows where we live and where F works), so I texted K. He told me to go check, because maybe it was not related and F is in an unrelated danger. But before I left the apartment, D said he’s going to return my stuff.
By then, I knew they met, and lo and behold when I was about to go downstairs I saw them coming upstairs together.
After letting D in, he unpacked his bag and showed F stuff related to us, pictures, gifts. He then unloaded his anger, saying that I ruined his life by manipulating him, that I’m selfish, and that I didn’t regret what had happened so I’m mentally ill. F at this point was trying to calm D down, fearing our safety (bless him). Then, after D left, F and I had the talk.
Basically, F knew from about a week before that. He just focused on trying to calm D, and asked D to not let me know that he’d known because “he didn’t want to see me ashamed in front of him (F)”. D, who’s really set on ruining my life back, didn’t care. But, it was fine for a couple of days, I apologized and put in effort to fix the relationship.
Until D suddenly rang me that he’s outside and he wanted to talk. That day, I just started working, and K was coming over to work together from home for a couple of days. He came in, and told me to pay back what I owe him (around 5kUSD) because he applied to the college because of me. I said yes, and he was about to leave. I went to K (who was in another room closer to the front door avoiding all these because I told him to), and without realizing I said “what the fuck” to him. I also thought it was not loud, but maybe because the situation made the apartment quiet, me and K think D heard. Either that, or he was just really angry, he already left the front door but he barged in again before F could close the door and punched me in the face.
He punched me again a few times on my arms, chest and side belly, until F tried to stop him. I didn’t punch him back, but I did almost kick him because he didn’t let me go. He pushed me back, and F almost fell and hit his head if not for K saving him. F then told me to move away for a bit. I called the police at this point, in case he went berserk. F was recording everything from the get go (voice, legal). Honestly, up until this point, I’m still on the fence about going through with this and going to the police. I also sent about 1kUSD to D while F was trying to calm him down.
The three of us then talk again. D told me that he was looking for me around the city today, and that I was lucky he didn’t see me because he “didn’t know what he’d be doing to me if he saw me, either to punch me and humiliate me in front of many people, or to throw me under the bus”. Now, I was (am) genuinely scared. He also told us that he has been having more severe mental issues, couldn’t eat or sleep, shaking, almost fainted at work. He had to take a higher dose of his medications for anxiety and depression. He left, I was having a quick chat with F that I called the police and he told me not to press charges in case this makes D goes ballistic, and queue the police come (just about 15 seconds after D left the apartment). I believe the police saw his back.
Eventually I didn’t press charges, the police took note of what was happening and a quick background story, and they told me to block him. I’ve blocked him and told my friends to not block him but hide their social media posts from him.
F is in a bad situation now. In the morning after and every morning after that, he was his normal self, caring and all, but after he comes home from work he’s been quiet and stressed. I believe this is partially him trying to process everything and him worrying that D will make another issue, specifically with him at work, and that he’ll be found out that he’s gay. F asked me to run away to a different city just to avoid D if anything were to happen again, but when I asked if he still wanted to try and make this work he said yes.
Honestly, I don’t know what to do.

So, I cheated on my boyfriend, yes that was my mistake, feel free to judge me personally, but this post is not about that.
TLDR; I ruined the life of a guy I was cheating with and he wanted to ruin mine
Mid of January, I (23M) met this guy (let’s call him D, 35M) on Grindr. I told him straight away that I have a boyfriend (let’s call him F, 45M), so we thought it was just going to be a one-off thing. My boyfriend was visiting his family for a month at that time, a good 12 hours flight from where we are. I lied to him that my boyfriend is okay with me meeting someone else behind his back as long as it didn’t become anything serious. Actually, my boyfriend told me that I’m free to meet anyone else so long he didn’t know, but I’m sure he didn’t mean that as he told me this in a fight.
A was everything my boyfriend wasn’t. F and I were on a rough patch, and communication always became a dead end. He was intimate, and communicative. He desired me and didn’t make me feel lonely in the relationship. Moreover, D wanted to do some sexual things that F didn’t want to do with me. The closer we were, the more intimate we became. Drunk with rose-tinted glasses, I started saying pillow talks that we’ll get married and started naming our children. D paid for almost everything as I was between jobs.
A bit of backstory. D was not originally from this country, neither do I nor F. D was here on a study visa, and his visa is about to expire. He met someone almost 2 years ago that broke his heart, and he was in a terrible mental state since, taking medications for anxiety and depression. Last year around December, he took a healing trip around Europe and met this other guy (let’s call him G, 50+M). They met in a beautiful country in the Mediterranean (although G is from another country), so D wanted to move to that country so he could be closer to G.
Anyway, because he was with me and he thought we'd be together, he refused this job (he didn’t get the offer but got an interview for it), and applied to a university (in a course he didn’t want) just so he can renew his visa. He also urged me to break up with F, but I wasn’t sure. F eventually returned, and I said I wanted to be separated from him for a while (in my mind, I didn’t know if D would be able to stay here), and left his place the next morning to D’s place. That day, I ended things with D, because my heart feels very burdened, and I felt like I made the wrong choice. I went back to F’s place.
D then continued to bomb my phone with messages, saying he couldn’t believe this was happening. Eventually, he begged me to meet him one last time for a breakfast to talk things through, and I agreed. I met him in a quite fancy restaurant (for me at least), with flowers, a card, etc. In the end, I melted and when he asked me if we can try this one more time, and he’s willing to be “the guy I’m cheating with”, I foolishly agreed. This was mid February.
From then, he has been trying his best to win my heart, taking me on dates, etc. My mind told me that I should just go with D because 1) he’s come out, and F hasn’t, 2) he loves PDA, while F can’t, and 3) D wants to marry me, while F is already married to a woman. F has been separated from his wife for a few years now, can’t divorce her for many reasons, one of which is because he had children with her. He lives full time with me, even though when his family visited he had to hide me and our things which hurt me in the past.
Anyway, even with all that, I just can’t shake off this wrong feeling. So by the end of March, after D being all jealous the whole month, I broke it off with him. The reason I just realized now: all those feelings that I love with D, I want it from F. And ever since he returned mid February, he’s been nothing but that, so I felt content.
Since we live in the same town, I met D every once in a while accidentally, like in a bus or in a hospital. I have told all these stories to my good friend (let’s call him K, 24M) from work, who had met D but not yet F at that point. I also didn’t come clean to F.
One day, about 3 weeks ago, K told me that he wanted me to go with him and his date to a gay club (he wasn’t feeling safe, and this is after their private lunch). I said yes, because I had nothing to do that day. He then told me that D is coming as well (I forgot if K invited him first or D invited himself before me when he asked K for a gay club recommendation). I had a bad feeling, but eventually said fuck it, what’s gonna happen?
D and I met there. It was awkward, but as the drinks started to take effect, and I started to become tipsy, he asked me if we wanted to “have fun for tonight and forget the next morning”. I agreed. We did have fun dancing (no sex) that night, and he came back to my place, not with the intention to have sex at all (at least from me). Me, still tipsy, was asked by him what happened between us, and one thing led to another… Still no sex, but he came to the conclusion that I manipulated him (love bombing). He asked me if this is true. With the evidence in front of me, I said yes, even though in hindsight, that was never my intention.
From the beginning, I wished that the relationship between me and him was just a hookup, or FWB at best. When romantic feelings started to develop, I genuinely thought that I wanted to be with D. Never once did I think I wanted to play with his feelings or life. But the actions that I did, that he described, is manipulation. So that’s why I said yes.
He got really angry, and threatened me with many things. I was having a panic attack, but he ended that night saying that he forgave me and that he won’t do anything that will harm me. Later on, he texted me that he thinks I have a mental illness (which I also think I have, but I’m still waiting for the diagnosis (my next appointment with a psychiatrist)).
I had forgotten about him, until last week when F left the apartment to buy some groceries in a suspicious manner. I was working from home that day, so I was too busy to worry. I did ask him after about half an hour, and he said he’s gonna come back soon, but I again became preoccupied with work and I didn’t realize he'd been gone for 1.5 hours. I then started to worry that maybe F met with D (something that D has threatened me with as he knows where we live and where F works), so I texted K. He told me to go check, because maybe it was not related and F is in an unrelated danger. But before I left the apartment, D said he’s going to return my stuff.
By then, I knew they met, and lo and behold when I was about to go downstairs I saw them coming upstairs together.
After letting D in, he unpacked his bag and showed F stuff related to us, pictures, gifts. He then unloaded his anger, saying that I ruined his life by manipulating him, that I’m selfish, and that I didn’t regret what had happened so I’m mentally ill. F at this point was trying to calm D down, fearing our safety (bless him). Then, after D left, F and I had the talk.
Basically, F knew from about a week before that. He just focused on trying to calm D, and asked D to not let me know that he’d known because “he didn’t want to see me ashamed in front of him (F)”. D, who’s really set on ruining my life back, didn’t care. But, it was fine for a couple of days, I apologized and put in effort to fix the relationship.
Until D suddenly rang me that he’s outside and he wanted to talk. That day, I just started working, and K was coming over to work together from home for a couple of days. He came in, and told me to pay back what I owe him (around 5kUSD) because he applied to the college because of me. I said yes, and he was about to leave. I went to K (who was in another room closer to the front door avoiding all these because I told him to), and without realizing I said “what the fuck” to him. I also thought it was not loud, but maybe because the situation made the apartment quiet, me and K think D heard. Either that, or he was just really angry, he already left the front door but he barged in again before F could close the door and punched me in the face.
He punched me again a few times on my arms, chest and side belly, until F tried to stop him. I didn’t punch him back, but I did almost kick him because he didn’t let me go. He pushed me back, and F almost fell and hit his head if not for K saving him. F then told me to move away for a bit. I called the police at this point, in case he went berserk. F was recording everything from the get go (voice, legal). Honestly, up until this point, I’m still on the fence about going through with this and going to the police. I also sent about 1kUSD to D while F was trying to calm him down.
The three of us then talk again. D told me that he was looking for me around the city today, and that I was lucky he didn’t see me because he “didn’t know what he’d be doing to me if he saw me, either to punch me and humiliate me in front of many people, or to throw me under the bus”. Now, I was (am) genuinely scared. He also told us that he has been having more severe mental issues, couldn’t eat or sleep, shaking, almost fainted at work. He had to take a higher dose of his medications for anxiety and depression. He left, I was having a quick chat with F that I called the police and he told me not to press charges in case this makes D goes ballistic, and queue the police come (just about 15 seconds after D left the apartment). I believe the police saw his back.
Eventually I didn’t press charges, the police took note of what was happening and a quick background story, and they told me to block him. I’ve blocked him and told my friends to not block him but hide their social media posts from him.
F is in a bad situation now. In the morning after and every morning after that, he was his normal self, caring and all, but after he comes home from work he’s been quiet and stressed. I believe this is partially him trying to process everything and him worrying that D will make another issue, specifically with him at work, and that he’ll be found out that he’s gay. F asked me to run away to a different city just to avoid D if anything were to happen again, but when I asked if he still wanted to try and make this work he said yes.
Honestly, I don’t know what to do.

So for context -my partner and I have been dating for half a decade. Our relationship is strong and we are enjoying our time together immensely - he's the love of my life, my favourite laughing partner and just a really special human being I'm honoured to know so deeply. My MIL came accross as a strong personality but seemed delightful and embraced me at first. Over the last few years it has become suspected she has a personality disorder with her "incidents" and behaviour. My partner and I are planning on getting engaged this year and have had this timeline for a very long time. While this should be a very exciting time in my life - I am instead feeling worried, stressed, and down. This MIL is constantly bringing up the concepts of engagement, weddings, and babies at get-togethers which sure is fine but the thing is it feels like she makes an effort to leave me out of it. My partners brother is also proposing this year to his partner which have been dating a few years less than us (super happy for them). My partner also has another sibling that isn't planning on proposing anytime soon and is younger. I have a really good relationship with everyone else in the family including the father (says i'm like a daughter), the siblings, and the partners (we have become friends). My MIL is not only making the maintenance of these relationships hard, but she is making me feel like abolute crap on a consistent basis at family events with how she blatenly treats me poorly compared to others. Here's some examples:

• At family events the MIL will bring up the topic of marriage, babies, moving in, etc. talk about it happening for both other siblings and then completely disregard me and my partner. For instance recently she went on about who shes inviting to the one siblings wedding and then talked about how the other sibling (one not proposing anytime soon)'s would be and then (I kid you not) looked at me, said my partner and I's names and laughed.
  
• Im telling you at every.single. event. for the past 3 years from the first few months of them dating she is bringing up the other siblings future engagement and how they deserve it so much etc. Cute at first but its very very excessive at this point (and thats me underexagerating). Im talking about begging, and not letting the topic go when no one in the room is reciprocating. Not a peep has been heard about me and my partner in this half a decade of being in the family. - Would I every want it to the extent of the other sibling? no. Do i find it odd and a bit rude? Yes. especially considering the fact that she has known my partner is proposing this year.
  
• one day she brought down her mothers gold jewlery and was passing it to the other siblings partners and asking what type of ring she wants. Then when that sibling's partner asked me (attempting to include me in the conversation) and I showed pictures of the the ones I tried on and the MIL immediatly went quiet then interrupted and changed the conversation back to the other siblings partner. She acted like I wasn't there and afterwards the other siblings partner said they noticed too.
  
• when leaving a get together she went out of her way to hug every partner but me.
  

-When the other sibling's partners arrive an excited voice and questions about work/life are had. Meanwhile, when I arrive it’s a short embrace with very little effort/interest in my life anymore unless it has to do with something that impacts my partner like whether we are going to my house this weekend.

• After not saying a word to me in a room she calls over other siblings partners and has private conversations in the other conjoining room about non-private things.
  
• (this is wild that im even saying this) I noticed she covers our picture on the mantel up by either putting other siblings and their partners photos in front or a nick nack like a bible verse plaque.
  

Efforts I have made over the past few years that I think qualify me as a good DIL /her response:

• I have tried doing activities she enjoys with her -making an effort to let her know I care about her and her interests. - a lot out of my comfort zone.
  
• One of my love languages is gifts/acts of service (I don't expect it in return but I would think she would atleast treat me kindly) - I hand-made the whole family including partners sweaters (while other partners go nothing), every year I make the family yearly recap videos, I also make every family member including her birthday videos where I spend hours collecting photos, and videos from the past with their favourite music - started as something just for my partner but my FIL was so appreciative of it I thought i would do it for everyone. I do something special for her for international womens day and mothers day every year.
  
• I thank her in cards and have told her many times for raising very kind respectable humans.
  
• I ask her questions/ listen to her vents about conflicts with friends or family - (which btw she can be very negative about people).
  
• Myself and my partner both do the most activities with her and go out of our way to visit/help her the most. (ie. going shopping together, visiting her at work)
  
• I have cleaned her whole kitchen/ made food for the family on my own dime and time.
  
• Even when we first started dating and I was a broke university student - I would go out of my way to spend money on her and her family because i wanted to and I love them.
  
• When she would have mental "incidents" ie. leaving the house for a few days, calling family members really horrible names etc. I was the one who would speak sense to my partner and his siblings about how this is a mental health issue and she doesn't really mean it. - I have defended her at her worst.
  

Most recently:

• invited her to two outings/events things we have done together before - denied
  
• Asking her about life/work - not holding conversation
  
• Used to hug me good morning/goodbye - not anymore.
  
• Blatantly ignoring my prescence in the room when other siblings partners are there/not including me in conversation
  
• didn't respond to my mothers text and makes very little effort with my family (despite my family having them to our cottage and visiting/checking in - my dad and the FIL are friends) - meanwhile when we are in big groups she is constantly talkig about the other siblings partners parents and going out of her way to invite them to fancy dinners - buy them the most expensive bottle of wine etc. (bc she "wants to make a good impression"). - lol i guess my family wasn't important these past 5 years.
  I feel as though my family is treated as less important and I myself am treated as less worthy of engagement or marriage when I have tried my hardest to just be accepted and respected by their family. I have made many efforts to show my care and loyalty to their family but the events I used to look forward to have just turned into sour reminders of how vastly different I am treated.
  

Some of these things above I have cried, laughed, or both about. There are many more things she has done that have hurt me these past few years of our relationship which I haven't mentioned above by myself and my partner thought were unintentional at the time and not necesary to address. She has love bombed me before which has confused me and made me think i'm over reacting to feeling like she wasn't treating me well/ doesn't like me -but most recently its gotten to the point where I am crying when I get home from every family event because of how prominent her efforts to exclude and bellttle me are.
Me and my partner have great communication and have agreed on the implementation of boundaries such as increased distance if her behaviour progresses etc. and he has offered to say something but I am scared. No matter what, I will have to attend family get to-gethers and I am marrying into this family that I really do love. I get along with the siblings partners so well it's such a shame that her presence leads to her making me feel poorly around them because of how she acts/things she says. I have also suggested she gets more mental support but right now shes attending therapy alone where I don't think she is fully honesst about her incidents/treatment of others. My partner knows she is unwell and we are both upset and tired of this being a thing. I definitely don't want to be overly embraced and put on a pedestal but I think what shes doing currently takes more effort than just acknowledging me and treating me with an ounce of the kindness she gives the others. I am scared to get engaged after her reaction to hearing we have been ring shopping and I am also more scared about the concept of a wedding or having kids as I find she has a tendency to be controlling and I don't want my future kids to see their mom being treated like this or possibly be treated the same. That of course made my partner upset and now don't know where to go from here (hence me referring to reddit) but I know a life with this is not a happy one for me or my partner and I don't deserve it but I love the family and I do love her for who she may be when shes mentally more well and her perseverence in life.