Single parent speed dating
Dating for the Dating Impaired
2011.03.18 22:47 noonches Dating for the Dating Impaired
Dating for the dating impaired. 18+ only. Positive comment karma required. Put your location in your title. Post flair is required and needs to be correct. No surveys or forms allowed. Don't be an ass and don't post a pic of yours.
2014.08.19 14:44 Catholic Dating
For when coffee and doughnuts after Mass doesn't cut it.
2013.07.03 07:28 veetron dating single parents
A place for redditors who are dating a single parent to come together for stories and advice.
2024.05.16 05:16 ThrowRAoneanddone9 I am seeing a guy who lives at home should I end things?
Recently I have gotten close to seeing an older guy from work since I started a few months ago and recently I found out he lives at home.
We’ve been on a few dates and have slept together at my place that I rent with a friend. I didn’t think anything of it because our date was closer to mine than where he lives. I suggested we stay at his soon and he mentioned he lived with his parents, he didn’t try and hide it or seemed embarrassed about it but my friend who I live with called it a red flag.
He is a nice guy and funny who is well liked at work because he’s a good worker and gets along with everyone. He also studies part time and mentioned part of why he doesn’t have a house right now is because of some health issues a few years ago.
I didn’t think it was too bad until my friend mentioned it was a huge red flag that he is still at home at 31.
Rental and general housing market is tough where we live but what do you guys think?
submitted by ThrowRAoneanddone9 to dating [link] [comments]
We’ve been on a few dates and have slept together at my place that I rent with a friend. I didn’t think anything of it because our date was closer to mine than where he lives. I suggested we stay at his soon and he mentioned he lived with his parents, he didn’t try and hide it or seemed embarrassed about it but my friend who I live with called it a red flag.
He is a nice guy and funny who is well liked at work because he’s a good worker and gets along with everyone. He also studies part time and mentioned part of why he doesn’t have a house right now is because of some health issues a few years ago.
I didn’t think it was too bad until my friend mentioned it was a huge red flag that he is still at home at 31.
Rental and general housing market is tough where we live but what do you guys think?
2024.05.16 05:16 dindyfrin Sports Interaction Casino Review (2024) Reddit Check
 | Sports Interaction, founded in 1997, is one of the pioneering online sportsbooks and casinos in Canada. With its long-standing reputation and focus on the Canadian market, it has become a go-to platform for many passionate sports bettors and casino enthusiasts. In this review, we'll take a closer look at what makes Sports Interaction stand out, its key features, licensing, and more. submitted by dindyfrin to GambleWorld [link] [comments] Sports Interaction
Sports Interaction OverviewTracing its origins back to 1997, Sports Interaction was among the pioneering licensed and regulated online gaming platforms in Canada, established by Mohawk Online Limited. Headquartered in the Kahnawake territory of Quebec, the company has been catering to Canadian players for over two decades, solidifying its reputation as a trustworthy and longstanding presence in the market. In 2022, Sports Interaction's trajectory took a monumental leap forward when Entain plc, a renowned UK-based gaming juggernaut, acquired its parent company, Avid Gaming, for an impressive $300 million. This acquisition not only underscored Sports Interaction's market value but also fortified its position as a formidable force in the Canadian online gambling landscape.Key features and unique selling points:
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CasinoIn addition to the sportsbook, Sports Interaction also boasts a well-developed casino that caters to a huge range of preferences. The casino section features a variety of games including slots, table games and live dealer options - all created by renowned software providers.Slot gamesSports Interaction's slot collection is sure to impress even the most discerning players. With over 1500 titles to choose from, there's no shortage of excitement and variety. The casino offers a mix of classic and modern slots, featuring various themes, bonus features, and jackpot sizes. Some popular titles include:
Table gamesSports Interaction offers a diverse selection of classic table games designed for casino enthusiasts. Players can enjoy iconic variants such as classic blackjack, all-stakes blackjack, and Vegas blackjack. Roulette includes American, European and French roulette, while poker enthusiasts can play Casino Hold'em and Three Card Poker. The casino also features baccarat and craps.Live dealer gamesIf you want to get a real casino gaming vibe from the comfort of your own home, be sure to check out Sports Interaction's live dealer section. Powered by industry leader Playtech, the live casino offers a range of games hosted by professional dealers in real-time. You can interact with the dealers and other players. Some popular live dealer games include:
Game providers and softwareThe operator partners with some of the most reputable software providers in the iGaming industry. The main provider is Playtech, a company known for its innovative and visually stunning games. Other notable providers include:
Bonuses and PromotionsWhen it comes to bonuses and promotions, the bookmaker offers a decent selection for both sports bettors and casino players. While the promotions may not be as extensive as some other online gambling sites, they still provide added value and incentives for players to enjoy their favorite games and sports.Welcome bonusFor sports betting enthusiasts, the platform presents a lucrative 125% deposit match bonus of up to $250. This bonus serves as an ideal launchpad for your sports betting journey, providing you with additional funds to explore the diverse array of markets and events available. To claim this bonus, simply make a minimum deposit of $10, and the bonus amount will be automatically credited to your account.Alternatively, if the casino section piques your interest, Sports Interaction has a separate welcome offer tailored for you. New casino players can revel in a 100% bonus on their first deposit, with a generous cap of up to $3,000. To unlock this bonus, simply create an account and make a minimum deposit of $10. It's important to note that both welcome bonuses are subject to wagering requirements. The sports betting bonus carries a 6x rollover requirement, while the casino bonus requires a 30x wagering requirement. These conditions, while in place, are achievable with consistent play. Seasonal promotions and offersThroughout the year, the operator offers various seasonal promotions and limited-time offers for both sports betting and casino play. These promotions often coincide with major sporting events, holidays, or the launch of new games. Examples of seasonal promotions may include:
VIP program and extrasAt the time of writing, the bookmaker does not offer a traditional VIP or loyalty program. However, the site does provide occasional extras for regular players, such as exclusive bonuses, access to new games before general release, and invitations to special events.While a dedicated VIP program would be a welcome addition, the existing promotions and bonuses still offer value for both new and existing players. Here's a quick overview of the main bonuses and promotions:
Banking and Payment MethodsWhen it comes to managing your funds at an online casino or sportsbook, you want the process to be safe, secure and convenient. Sports Interaction understands this and offers a range of banking options to meet the needs of Canadian players.Accepted currenciesThe bookmaker primarily caters to the Canadian market, so it's no surprise that the site operates in Canadian dollars (CAD). This makes it easy for Canadian players to deposit, wager, and withdraw funds without having to worry about currency conversion fees. In addition to CAD, Sports Interaction also accepts deposits and processes withdrawals in US dollars (USD).Deposit methodsThe bookmaker offers a variety of deposit methods to make it easy for players to fund their accounts. Some of the most popular options include:
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Security measuresThe bookmaker takes the security of your personal and financial information seriously. The site employs advanced encryption technology to protect your data and transactions. Furthermore, Sports Interaction is licensed and regulated by the Kahnawake Gaming Commission and the Jersey Gambling Commission.When making a withdrawal, you may be required to provide additional documentation to verify your identity, such as a government-issued ID and proof of address. This is a standard procedure in the industry and helps prevent fraud and protect your account. Mobile ExperienceRecognizing the demand for mobile betting, Sports Interaction takes care of the user experience on smartphones and tablets. Despite the lack of a dedicated sports app, the mobile site offers intuitive navigation and a user-friendly interface that makes betting easy. For casino games, iOS and Android users can download special apps for direct access to their favorite games.Customer SupportThe site offers a comprehensive FAQ section that addresses common queries related to account management, bonuses, banking, and technical issues. If you can't find the answer you're looking for, Sports Interaction provides several ways to get in touch with their support team.
FAQsCan I trust Sports Interaction with my personal and financial information?Absolutely. The bookmaker employs advanced security measures, including encryption technology, to protect your personal and financial data.Is Sports Interaction legal for Canadian players?Yes, it is legal for Canadian players. The site is licensed by the Kahnawake Gaming Commission, which is located in Canada, and is fully compliant with Canadian gambling laws.What is the minimum age requirement to play?To play at Sports Interaction, you must be at least 19 years old. This is in line with the legal gambling age in most Canadian provinces.Are there any fees associated with deposits or withdrawals?The bookmaker does not charge any fees for deposits. However, some withdrawal methods may incur a small fee. Be sure to check the banking section of the site for the most up-to-date information on fees.Is the sportsbook committed to responsible gambling?Yes, it takes responsible gambling seriously. The site offers tools and resources to help players manage their gambling, such as deposit limits, self-exclusion options, and links to problem gambling support organizations. |
2024.05.16 05:15 ThrowRAoneanddone9 I (24f) am seeing a guy (31m) who still lives and home and was told it’s a red flag what should I do?
Recently I have gotten close to seeing an older guy from work since I started a few months ago and recently I found out he lives at home.
We’ve been on a few dates and have slept together at my place that I rent with a friend. I didn’t think anything of it because our date was closer to mine than where he lives. I suggested we stay at his soon and he mentioned he lived with his parents, he didn’t try and hide it or seemed embarrassed about it but my friend who I live with called it a red flag.
He is a nice guy and funny who is well liked at work because he’s a good worker and gets along with everyone. He also studies part time and mentioned part of why he doesn’t have a house right now is because of some health issues a few years ago.
I didn’t think it was too bad until my friend mentioned it was a huge red flag that he is still at home at 31.
Rental and general housing market is tough where we live but what do you guys think?
submitted by ThrowRAoneanddone9 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
We’ve been on a few dates and have slept together at my place that I rent with a friend. I didn’t think anything of it because our date was closer to mine than where he lives. I suggested we stay at his soon and he mentioned he lived with his parents, he didn’t try and hide it or seemed embarrassed about it but my friend who I live with called it a red flag.
He is a nice guy and funny who is well liked at work because he’s a good worker and gets along with everyone. He also studies part time and mentioned part of why he doesn’t have a house right now is because of some health issues a few years ago.
I didn’t think it was too bad until my friend mentioned it was a huge red flag that he is still at home at 31.
Rental and general housing market is tough where we live but what do you guys think?
2024.05.16 05:14 ledeledeledeledele Breaking the shame and conditioning by my nparents that "anger was bad".
The only reason they made me believe it was bad for me to be angry was because they were doing the most horrific fucking things imaginable and didn't want me to retaliate despite having every right and reason to do so. They wanted to scream at me whenever they wanted over fucking nothing and then expect me to be the same happy and compliant slave (or child, as they called me). They expected me to forget anything they did to me and somehow believe them when they denied that they did anything wrong. THEY MADE ME HOMELESS RATHER THAN ACKNOWLEDGE WHAT THEY DID WAS WRONG AND THEN HAD THE FUCKING GALL TO SHAME ME FOR NOT GETTING A JOB IMMEDIATELY AND FINANCIALLY MANIPULATED ME INTO COMING BACK TO LIVE WITH THEM.
THESE WERE NOT PARENTS. THEY WERE FUCKING MONSTERS. HOW FUCKING DARE THEY EVER HAVE CRITICIZED ME FOR ANYTHING WHEN THEY BLATANTLY AND SHAMELESSLY--WITHOUT A SINGLE FUCKING DROP OF REMORSE--USED ME FOR THEIR OWN PURPOSES AND PREVENTED ME MAKING MY OWN CHOICES ABOUT MY OWN LIFE. The sheer audacity of them to ever have told me I was doing something "wrong" when they never taught me how to do it is beyond absurd. I feel like I was raised by two cartoon villains. They really were that comically evil.
AND THEY NEVER, EVER, EVER ALLOWED ME THE DIGNITY TO BE ANGRY ABOUT IT. NOT EVEN SLIGHTLY FRUSTRATED OR ANNOYED. THEY FORCED ME TO KEEP THAT FUCKING MASK OF COMPLIANCE AND HAPPINESS ON FOR MY WHOLE FUCKING CHILDHOOD AND WOULD HAVE NEVER STOPPED DOING IT IF I DIDN'T ESCAPE. AND WHEN I DID GET ANGRY AND FINALLY DID SNAP AFTER DECADES OF FUCKING ABUSE AND TORTURE, THEY DIDN'T EVEN ACKNOWLEDGE MY REALITY. I TRULY HOPE THEY DIE SOON SO I WON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THEM EVER INVADING MY LIFE EVER AGAIN.
Choices they took away from me:
The right to have my own friends without their explicit consent and deep involvement to the point of them being obsessed and showing up at my friends' houses randomly like fucking stalkers.
The right to choose my own college and major (they only let me do the major I initially chose because it was what they wanted to--when I told them I was switching they screamed at me and forced me to stay in the old one).
The right to have my own job instead of ndad forcing me to work at his business and never paying me on time and constantly finding truly evil excuses to underpay me or not pay me at all. Nmom also told me that: "I should be grateful for getting the chance to work for ndad at all and I shouldn't make him pay me." What a fucking monster.
The right to date whoever I wanted and not random girls that they met and they wanted me to date.
The right to be angry, tell them no, make my own decisions, have my own independence, plan my own future, AND TO REFUSE TO LISTEN TO ANY OF THEIR CYNICAL ADVICE THAT ALWAYS WAS MEANT TO UNDERMINE ME WHEN I WAS DOING WELL.
And much more.
I'm feeling the anger now and it almost feels like it's too little, too late. I can't punch them in the face. I can't scream back at them. I can't do anything to change what they did to me and how that caused my life to be in the past. I can't change any of it and it's maddening. Yes, I have a future now and am free from them thanks to going no contact, but holy shit it's not remotely easy to move on from what they did to me without letting myself feel and express all of the sheer rage I have at them.
submitted by ledeledeledeledele to raisedbynarcissists [link] [comments]
THESE WERE NOT PARENTS. THEY WERE FUCKING MONSTERS. HOW FUCKING DARE THEY EVER HAVE CRITICIZED ME FOR ANYTHING WHEN THEY BLATANTLY AND SHAMELESSLY--WITHOUT A SINGLE FUCKING DROP OF REMORSE--USED ME FOR THEIR OWN PURPOSES AND PREVENTED ME MAKING MY OWN CHOICES ABOUT MY OWN LIFE. The sheer audacity of them to ever have told me I was doing something "wrong" when they never taught me how to do it is beyond absurd. I feel like I was raised by two cartoon villains. They really were that comically evil.
AND THEY NEVER, EVER, EVER ALLOWED ME THE DIGNITY TO BE ANGRY ABOUT IT. NOT EVEN SLIGHTLY FRUSTRATED OR ANNOYED. THEY FORCED ME TO KEEP THAT FUCKING MASK OF COMPLIANCE AND HAPPINESS ON FOR MY WHOLE FUCKING CHILDHOOD AND WOULD HAVE NEVER STOPPED DOING IT IF I DIDN'T ESCAPE. AND WHEN I DID GET ANGRY AND FINALLY DID SNAP AFTER DECADES OF FUCKING ABUSE AND TORTURE, THEY DIDN'T EVEN ACKNOWLEDGE MY REALITY. I TRULY HOPE THEY DIE SOON SO I WON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THEM EVER INVADING MY LIFE EVER AGAIN.
Choices they took away from me:
The right to have my own friends without their explicit consent and deep involvement to the point of them being obsessed and showing up at my friends' houses randomly like fucking stalkers.
The right to choose my own college and major (they only let me do the major I initially chose because it was what they wanted to--when I told them I was switching they screamed at me and forced me to stay in the old one).
The right to have my own job instead of ndad forcing me to work at his business and never paying me on time and constantly finding truly evil excuses to underpay me or not pay me at all. Nmom also told me that: "I should be grateful for getting the chance to work for ndad at all and I shouldn't make him pay me." What a fucking monster.
The right to date whoever I wanted and not random girls that they met and they wanted me to date.
The right to be angry, tell them no, make my own decisions, have my own independence, plan my own future, AND TO REFUSE TO LISTEN TO ANY OF THEIR CYNICAL ADVICE THAT ALWAYS WAS MEANT TO UNDERMINE ME WHEN I WAS DOING WELL.
And much more.
I'm feeling the anger now and it almost feels like it's too little, too late. I can't punch them in the face. I can't scream back at them. I can't do anything to change what they did to me and how that caused my life to be in the past. I can't change any of it and it's maddening. Yes, I have a future now and am free from them thanks to going no contact, but holy shit it's not remotely easy to move on from what they did to me without letting myself feel and express all of the sheer rage I have at them.
2024.05.16 05:14 DBroonie Is it time we blow it up?
I think anyone who isn't delusional can see this team just doesn't have the talent one needs to compete. Our 340 million dollar man is batting .200. Among qualified players our highest batting average is Marte with .255, absolutely abysmal.
Going in I thought pitching would be the biggest issue but that is far from the case. I love Nimmo, he's probably our best bat somehow, yet his OPS is .757 with a .215 BA. Alonso sucks, and I want to mostly discuss that.
Alonso is a fan favorite, mostly because of how he exploded onto the scene. But the man has been a shell of himself dating back to last year. It's home run or bust with him, and he's not even hitting homers so as of now he's useless. He's "only" 29, but there's a good chance he leaves in FA, and an even better chance of him turning into a bad contract if we keep him. You're stuck with Lindor, so I say we trade Alonso while he still has value and get some prospects out of it who can play next year. No Single A teenagers unless they're a prodigy.
IMO everyone is available besides Lindor, Nimmo, Diaz, and all the young guys we just called up. This team doesn't have the talent right now, and it's better to trade these guys for at least something instead of keeping them on our march to 75 wins.
Just want to say look at the Orioles. Laughing stock of the league for a while, and are now a top team because they have elite young talent, and STILL have the top farm system.
submitted by DBroonie to NewYorkMets [link] [comments]
Going in I thought pitching would be the biggest issue but that is far from the case. I love Nimmo, he's probably our best bat somehow, yet his OPS is .757 with a .215 BA. Alonso sucks, and I want to mostly discuss that.
Alonso is a fan favorite, mostly because of how he exploded onto the scene. But the man has been a shell of himself dating back to last year. It's home run or bust with him, and he's not even hitting homers so as of now he's useless. He's "only" 29, but there's a good chance he leaves in FA, and an even better chance of him turning into a bad contract if we keep him. You're stuck with Lindor, so I say we trade Alonso while he still has value and get some prospects out of it who can play next year. No Single A teenagers unless they're a prodigy.
IMO everyone is available besides Lindor, Nimmo, Diaz, and all the young guys we just called up. This team doesn't have the talent right now, and it's better to trade these guys for at least something instead of keeping them on our march to 75 wins.
Just want to say look at the Orioles. Laughing stock of the league for a while, and are now a top team because they have elite young talent, and STILL have the top farm system.
2024.05.16 05:13 BlueGreenRainbow Recently purchased a home, looking for advice on how much I should keep for emergencies and investment
Hi there looking for advice on investing (29, single, no kids, no debt). I purchased a condo in January. I’ve lived at my parents house for pretty much my entire life so I was able to save up a large amount for a down payment:
submitted by BlueGreenRainbow to personalfinance [link] [comments]
- Mortgage is $165k at 6.25% interest, 15 year loan.
- Monthly payment is around $2k (this includes monthly mortgage, property taxes, HOA, wategas)
- My monthly income after taxes, 401k, medical/dental is around $4300
- I have $100k invested currently between my 401k and Roth IRA
- I have a parent who is a handy man so labor for most repairs can be free of charge (very grateful)
- other monthly costs include car insurance, wifi
2024.05.16 05:11 tristanfinn Bolerium Books – The San Francisco Bookstore Where the Revolution Ends up – By Lucy Schiller
There is great benefit, these days, in having a name unlike any other: you float to the top of Google searches. Bolerium Books, in San Francisco, knows this well, although it wasn’t a consideration when it first opened, in 1981. Bolerium’s co-owner, John Durham, runs through any number of explanations for the name, depending on whose leg he wants to pull and how hard. “It was an ancient road in Roman times,” he intoned recently, “large, funny, and sluggish,” while another co-owner, Alexander Akin, roundly mouthed, “Not true.” (The word is a Roman one for Land’s End, in Cornwall, England. The bookstore was once a bit closer to the ocean.) Fittingly, there is no other place like Bolerium, not on the Internet nor in the province of the real. Similes come steadily, none of which really seem to fit. Perhaps Durham’s is best. “We’re like a platypus,” he told me recently, “ugly as fuck and all sorts of parts.”.
This moment of serious American protest against Trump has led to one of Bolerium Books’ best sales years ever.Photograph by Thor Swift / NYT / Redux.
At last count, the store contained 67,385 single titles in stock. Estimates of the time that has elapsed since the last deep cleaning ranged from a jokey “twenty years ago” to a hemming “define ‘clean.’ ” “Nature abhors a vacuum,” Durham quickly noted. A store map gestures at the sheer amount of stuff, with sections labelled as “Reef of Flotsam” or “Onset of Confusion” (right by the entrance), or, in one cramped corner, “Hell.”
The semi-barbed humor protects something serious and deeply essential. Few people walk in (“the door is locked to keep out the unworthy,” Durham wrote in response to a negative Yelp review, though he made sure to mention the password, “swordfish”). Those who do manage to enter find, three floors above one of the Mission District’s busiest intersections, a vast and quiet space populated by seven staff members, thousands of books about and from social movements, densely packed rows of pamphlets and ephemera, and, in the adjacent storage room, great snowbanks of paper. These snowbanks, or “midden heaps,” as Durham calls them, are from attics, basements, personal archives, and libraries across the country. They have all been sold or donated to Bolerium. In them, evidence of the past is to be found, possibly reckoned with, and then, hopefully, sold.
From Bolerium’s snowbanks have come copies of On Our Backs (a lesbian erotic magazine put out in response to the anti-pornography publication Off Our Backs), century-old postcards of pacifist Doukhobors protesting in the nude, intricate Black Panther posters and handbills, an issue of Lumberjack (“with appendix on musical saw”), and the famous inter-commune Kaliflower newsletters from early-nineteen-seventies San Francisco. But with a staff so expert that they can translate a Mongolian treatise on traditional Oirat law using a handmade cheat sheet, classifications like “famous” and “obscure” begin to blur. So do “past” and “present.” Rather than a platypus, maybe the store is more like an estuary: the disparate holdings mingle, rolling in and out according to murky tides. (If you visit the Web site and browse the digital catalog by date, the tides begin to feel more explicable; one week, for example, carries a huge wave of Alan Watts-related material. The next week brings a crush of gay romance novels.) At Bolerium, for better and worse, you can wade around in what Durham calls “the primary source material for history.”
Here is an 1838 publication by the American Anti-Slavery Society and a brochure arguing for the Equal Rights Amendment. A pamphlet from a 1928 speech by Marcus Garvey sits not far from a publication on “incidents in the Life of Eugene V. Debs” written by his brother, Theodore (once, before an important speech, a piece of barbed wire tore “a great rent in [Debs’s] trousers . . . the flap of which hung down like the ear of a Missouri houn’ pup”). Among many other small, sheeny pins is a button from the 1990 AIDS Walk in San Francisco. Here are fliers that passed from hand to hand at protests, meant to convince, assuage, and inflame, and here’s a lump of coal from a miners’ strike in Alabama with tiny chicken-scratch wording: “never forget.” Notably, this year of serious American protest has been the store’s best sales year ever.
Not marked on the map is that other part of American history that has, this year and every other, raged—a section that Durham loosely calls “the White Problem” and keeps behind the locked door of a different room altogether. Accessible to scholars and those who know to ask, the spindly bookcases contain titles like “Gun Control Means People Control” and “Fluoridation & Truth Decay,” as well as several publications by the John Birch Society. “You can’t understand American history without understanding the far right,” Durham told me. “What it’s done, its justifications, its tropes and idiocies.”
It was to the deepest corner of the storeroom that the archivist Lisbet Tellefsen was drawn one afternoon. (Tellefsen visits Bolerium as a “treasure hunter,” and has amassed the largest collection of Angela Davis-related material in the world.) One time, she idly tugged out an issue of The Bayviewer, a magazine that once served the historic black neighborhood that James Baldwin characterized as “the San Francisco America pretends does not exist.”
.
The magazine fell open to a page bearing the face of Tellefsen’s father, whom she had not seen since she was two, in an advertisement for his Oldsmobile dealership. That led to an ongoing saga of tracking down half-siblings and cousins found on Ancestry.com. “There is so much history there,” Tellefsen told me. She visits Bolerium once a month, wary of buying back her own consigned material. “It’s so rich with connections. We have an understanding of history, but places like that hold so much.” Bolerium’s official motto, “Fighting Commodity Fetishism with Commodity Fetishism since 1981,” does not quite distill the feeling of holding some of these discoveries between your fingers, or explain the way that ephemera can work to vivify history, very often through its ordinariness. A bit of light browsing recently unearthed a flier from a class reunion of Florida’s first accredited African-American high school, as well as an Electrolux manual from 1933 listing Pope Pius XI as a famous customer.
But history is ongoing, and the present moment needs its collectors. During the Occupy Movement, the store paid a dollar for each flyer or poster that people brought in, then put together a sweeping collection for the British Library. Holdings from contemporary social movements are fairly small, since so much planning, discussing, and arguing takes place on Facebook and Twitter. “Occupy was the last one to have lots of leaflets,” Akin told me, somewhat sadly. Currently, he is collecting material from what he calls the “shock-and-disbelief period” following the 2016 Presidential election. Only from “marinating in the sauce of time” do these things begin to accrue both value and interest.
.
Recently, in one snowbank, Akin found a sketch done in creamy pastel of a basalt mountain and drifting clouds. Tiny guard towers dotted the background. It was a drawing of the view from Tule Lake Segregation Center, the largest of the incarceration camps that held Japanese-Americans during the Second World War, and the one which held those people deemed by the government to be “disloyal.” The artist was a man named Tomokazu, surname unknown, who resided for over thirty-five years in Plumas County, California, before being imprisoned at Tule Lake. The piece of paper sat among countless others all bearing dispatches of one kind or another from the past, which is not a foreign country, really, but a place hovering just under our present, and made of paper and ink, buttons, and voices.
https://xenagoguevicene.wordpress.com/2020/08/12/bolerium-books-the-san-francisco-bookstore-where-the-revolution-ends-up-by-lucy-schiller-the-new-yorker-20-sept-2018/
submitted by tristanfinn to occupylosangeles [link] [comments]
This moment of serious American protest against Trump has led to one of Bolerium Books’ best sales years ever.Photograph by Thor Swift / NYT / Redux.
At last count, the store contained 67,385 single titles in stock. Estimates of the time that has elapsed since the last deep cleaning ranged from a jokey “twenty years ago” to a hemming “define ‘clean.’ ” “Nature abhors a vacuum,” Durham quickly noted. A store map gestures at the sheer amount of stuff, with sections labelled as “Reef of Flotsam” or “Onset of Confusion” (right by the entrance), or, in one cramped corner, “Hell.”
The semi-barbed humor protects something serious and deeply essential. Few people walk in (“the door is locked to keep out the unworthy,” Durham wrote in response to a negative Yelp review, though he made sure to mention the password, “swordfish”). Those who do manage to enter find, three floors above one of the Mission District’s busiest intersections, a vast and quiet space populated by seven staff members, thousands of books about and from social movements, densely packed rows of pamphlets and ephemera, and, in the adjacent storage room, great snowbanks of paper. These snowbanks, or “midden heaps,” as Durham calls them, are from attics, basements, personal archives, and libraries across the country. They have all been sold or donated to Bolerium. In them, evidence of the past is to be found, possibly reckoned with, and then, hopefully, sold.
From Bolerium’s snowbanks have come copies of On Our Backs (a lesbian erotic magazine put out in response to the anti-pornography publication Off Our Backs), century-old postcards of pacifist Doukhobors protesting in the nude, intricate Black Panther posters and handbills, an issue of Lumberjack (“with appendix on musical saw”), and the famous inter-commune Kaliflower newsletters from early-nineteen-seventies San Francisco. But with a staff so expert that they can translate a Mongolian treatise on traditional Oirat law using a handmade cheat sheet, classifications like “famous” and “obscure” begin to blur. So do “past” and “present.” Rather than a platypus, maybe the store is more like an estuary: the disparate holdings mingle, rolling in and out according to murky tides. (If you visit the Web site and browse the digital catalog by date, the tides begin to feel more explicable; one week, for example, carries a huge wave of Alan Watts-related material. The next week brings a crush of gay romance novels.) At Bolerium, for better and worse, you can wade around in what Durham calls “the primary source material for history.”
Here is an 1838 publication by the American Anti-Slavery Society and a brochure arguing for the Equal Rights Amendment. A pamphlet from a 1928 speech by Marcus Garvey sits not far from a publication on “incidents in the Life of Eugene V. Debs” written by his brother, Theodore (once, before an important speech, a piece of barbed wire tore “a great rent in [Debs’s] trousers . . . the flap of which hung down like the ear of a Missouri houn’ pup”). Among many other small, sheeny pins is a button from the 1990 AIDS Walk in San Francisco. Here are fliers that passed from hand to hand at protests, meant to convince, assuage, and inflame, and here’s a lump of coal from a miners’ strike in Alabama with tiny chicken-scratch wording: “never forget.” Notably, this year of serious American protest has been the store’s best sales year ever.
Not marked on the map is that other part of American history that has, this year and every other, raged—a section that Durham loosely calls “the White Problem” and keeps behind the locked door of a different room altogether. Accessible to scholars and those who know to ask, the spindly bookcases contain titles like “Gun Control Means People Control” and “Fluoridation & Truth Decay,” as well as several publications by the John Birch Society. “You can’t understand American history without understanding the far right,” Durham told me. “What it’s done, its justifications, its tropes and idiocies.”
It was to the deepest corner of the storeroom that the archivist Lisbet Tellefsen was drawn one afternoon. (Tellefsen visits Bolerium as a “treasure hunter,” and has amassed the largest collection of Angela Davis-related material in the world.) One time, she idly tugged out an issue of The Bayviewer, a magazine that once served the historic black neighborhood that James Baldwin characterized as “the San Francisco America pretends does not exist.”
.
The magazine fell open to a page bearing the face of Tellefsen’s father, whom she had not seen since she was two, in an advertisement for his Oldsmobile dealership. That led to an ongoing saga of tracking down half-siblings and cousins found on Ancestry.com. “There is so much history there,” Tellefsen told me. She visits Bolerium once a month, wary of buying back her own consigned material. “It’s so rich with connections. We have an understanding of history, but places like that hold so much.” Bolerium’s official motto, “Fighting Commodity Fetishism with Commodity Fetishism since 1981,” does not quite distill the feeling of holding some of these discoveries between your fingers, or explain the way that ephemera can work to vivify history, very often through its ordinariness. A bit of light browsing recently unearthed a flier from a class reunion of Florida’s first accredited African-American high school, as well as an Electrolux manual from 1933 listing Pope Pius XI as a famous customer.
But history is ongoing, and the present moment needs its collectors. During the Occupy Movement, the store paid a dollar for each flyer or poster that people brought in, then put together a sweeping collection for the British Library. Holdings from contemporary social movements are fairly small, since so much planning, discussing, and arguing takes place on Facebook and Twitter. “Occupy was the last one to have lots of leaflets,” Akin told me, somewhat sadly. Currently, he is collecting material from what he calls the “shock-and-disbelief period” following the 2016 Presidential election. Only from “marinating in the sauce of time” do these things begin to accrue both value and interest.
.
Recently, in one snowbank, Akin found a sketch done in creamy pastel of a basalt mountain and drifting clouds. Tiny guard towers dotted the background. It was a drawing of the view from Tule Lake Segregation Center, the largest of the incarceration camps that held Japanese-Americans during the Second World War, and the one which held those people deemed by the government to be “disloyal.” The artist was a man named Tomokazu, surname unknown, who resided for over thirty-five years in Plumas County, California, before being imprisoned at Tule Lake. The piece of paper sat among countless others all bearing dispatches of one kind or another from the past, which is not a foreign country, really, but a place hovering just under our present, and made of paper and ink, buttons, and voices.
https://xenagoguevicene.wordpress.com/2020/08/12/bolerium-books-the-san-francisco-bookstore-where-the-revolution-ends-up-by-lucy-schiller-the-new-yorker-20-sept-2018/
2024.05.16 05:10 Impressive_Meal2371 At a crossroad, not sure how to move on with my marriage, can someone please help?
Me [33M] and my wife [32F] have been together for 9 years and married for 7 years now with two children. She's a SAH mom while I work full time.
Back when we were dating, I already knew that she had some unresolved issues with her family and noticed some anger issues where when she gets worked up, it's almost impossible to calm her down and discuss anything reasonable. From what I was told, her parents often neglected her emotions and feelings unless she goes into a maniac state growing up. Being from a dysfunctional family myself, I reckoned that this is something we can work on, but things just get worse and worse once we had kids, especially when her parents are around.
Her unresolved issues with her parents cause her to be constantly upset and uneasy whenever they're around. She can't stand every little thing that they do or say. For example, she would constantly be talking about her mom's bad posture, judging how she interacts with others, nagging about her diet and blood pressure and eventually followed by an outburst about why her mom never listens to her. She does this with my mom too, where she would repeatedly point out her flaws, her dating history, spending habits. I know she comes from a good place and simply wants the best for everyone, and I actually do agree with some of the stuff she says, but she's also making it very stressful for everyone around her. It's like she has a problem with everyone around us that she can't get pass and we're constantly being nagged about different things about how we live our lives and anything that we do or say around her might upset her. When we get tired of listening to her and become annoyed, she'd flipped out and go on her anger spree. Family gatherings are a nightmare for me when she's around because I would be constantly worried about what other people would say or do that might trigger her.
When she's having an outburst, she goes on a rampage for hours of either bringing up past fights or demanding an apology for letting her get to that point of anger. Even when I do apologize, she can still go on for hours after that. The worst part is that when she gets triggered, she'd flipped out anywhere, no matter who she's with. She'd do it in front of friends, our parents and even our kids, which is what I care about the most. I've tried talking to her at a time where she's calm or when she brings it up herself because she also acknowledges that she has this issue. I've stated my bottom line many times, which is to not do this in front of the kids, but it still keeps happening over and over again. During the most recent incident I was so defeated that I told her if this keeps happening, I really don't see a way forward in our relationship - I don't know how long I can keep doing this. The way that she talks and behave when she's mad in front of our kids is really unacceptable for me.
I sympathize with her as much as I can because I also didn't have the perfect family situation growing up. She didn't want kids but decided to do it because she knew that's what I really wanted to do. She's a loving mother when she's not having an outburst and would always feel guilty about it after having one. Giving up on her is the last thing I want to do but I don't know how I can avoid doing that without having our kids constantly exposed to this.
submitted by Impressive_Meal2371 to askatherapist [link] [comments]
Back when we were dating, I already knew that she had some unresolved issues with her family and noticed some anger issues where when she gets worked up, it's almost impossible to calm her down and discuss anything reasonable. From what I was told, her parents often neglected her emotions and feelings unless she goes into a maniac state growing up. Being from a dysfunctional family myself, I reckoned that this is something we can work on, but things just get worse and worse once we had kids, especially when her parents are around.
Her unresolved issues with her parents cause her to be constantly upset and uneasy whenever they're around. She can't stand every little thing that they do or say. For example, she would constantly be talking about her mom's bad posture, judging how she interacts with others, nagging about her diet and blood pressure and eventually followed by an outburst about why her mom never listens to her. She does this with my mom too, where she would repeatedly point out her flaws, her dating history, spending habits. I know she comes from a good place and simply wants the best for everyone, and I actually do agree with some of the stuff she says, but she's also making it very stressful for everyone around her. It's like she has a problem with everyone around us that she can't get pass and we're constantly being nagged about different things about how we live our lives and anything that we do or say around her might upset her. When we get tired of listening to her and become annoyed, she'd flipped out and go on her anger spree. Family gatherings are a nightmare for me when she's around because I would be constantly worried about what other people would say or do that might trigger her.
When she's having an outburst, she goes on a rampage for hours of either bringing up past fights or demanding an apology for letting her get to that point of anger. Even when I do apologize, she can still go on for hours after that. The worst part is that when she gets triggered, she'd flipped out anywhere, no matter who she's with. She'd do it in front of friends, our parents and even our kids, which is what I care about the most. I've tried talking to her at a time where she's calm or when she brings it up herself because she also acknowledges that she has this issue. I've stated my bottom line many times, which is to not do this in front of the kids, but it still keeps happening over and over again. During the most recent incident I was so defeated that I told her if this keeps happening, I really don't see a way forward in our relationship - I don't know how long I can keep doing this. The way that she talks and behave when she's mad in front of our kids is really unacceptable for me.
I sympathize with her as much as I can because I also didn't have the perfect family situation growing up. She didn't want kids but decided to do it because she knew that's what I really wanted to do. She's a loving mother when she's not having an outburst and would always feel guilty about it after having one. Giving up on her is the last thing I want to do but I don't know how I can avoid doing that without having our kids constantly exposed to this.
2024.05.16 05:10 Abirando What tools are not included after paying the unlock fee?
I uploaded my ancestryDNA data to MH and I actually thought the only thing I would not be able to do (without paying the unlock fee) was message my matches. Now I see I really cannot do much of anything except see my matches. MyHeritage is pretty vague about what (exactly) is included by paying this $29 unlock fee other than being able to see ethnicities (which I’ve actually read they are really bad at) and using their chromosome painting tool. My main goal is to break through a brick wall and discover the parents names of my first gen immigrant Portuguese ancestors (ie gg grandparents) but I only have 20 or so matches in Portugal/Azores.
It seems the usefulness of the tools is largely dependent on the size of members trees, right? The problem I seem to be running in to (both here as well as ancestry)—matches with either NO trees or a very small tree. Portuguese ancestry is notoriously difficult to nail down due to the fact that people do not necessarily share surnames with their parents + given names are extremely limited with some popular names like Mary appearing multiple times in a single nuclear family. So would I be setting this $29 on fire or not? My closest “useful” matches are 4th cousins (some in the U.S. with Portuguese surnames and ancestry).
submitted by Abirando to MyHeritage [link] [comments]
It seems the usefulness of the tools is largely dependent on the size of members trees, right? The problem I seem to be running in to (both here as well as ancestry)—matches with either NO trees or a very small tree. Portuguese ancestry is notoriously difficult to nail down due to the fact that people do not necessarily share surnames with their parents + given names are extremely limited with some popular names like Mary appearing multiple times in a single nuclear family. So would I be setting this $29 on fire or not? My closest “useful” matches are 4th cousins (some in the U.S. with Portuguese surnames and ancestry).
2024.05.16 05:09 reasonable_product Think I’m never gonna find love…
Hey! I’m a 25 year old girl and I have never been in a serious relationship. I’ve had non-committed flings and have experienced all the ups and downs with that. My parents also got divorced due to infidelity during my teens (maybe trauma?) But either way I work in sales, I constantly put myself out there and I go on Hinge dates frequently but have never been able to find someone. I feel left out and left behind compared to my friends and family. I have a great support system and cool hobbies but I just can’t seem to find love. I just want to experience and feel the things that come with a relationship and I can’t seem to shake how this has impacted my self worth and self esteem. Has anyone else been through this? Did you find someone someday?
submitted by reasonable_product to Datinginyourtwenties [link] [comments]
2024.05.16 05:09 OrangeCatsRule13 Crazy bridezilla story for everyone who like the tea ☕️
All names have been changed to protect everyone’s info. When this happened I was 21.
Long one so buckle up! So I (21f at the time) met this girl we’ll call Amy. I met Amy volunteering at a library where she just ordered people on what to do, despite only being a volunteer herself, not a librarian. Anyway… only after 7 months of knowing her she dates this guy, (we’ll call him Ben) and gets engaged within two months because she was pregnant. I kid you not, she married this guy 3 months after meeting him. I thought that was a questionable choice, but was not confrontational.
When my then fiancé and I went on a double date with Amy and Ben, Ben was nice. My fiancé loved hanging out with him due to similarities in hobbies. After dinner in bed, my fiancé is on his computer and trying to add Ben on Facebook. After searching his name up and trying nicknames and full names, we find a FRICKIN ARTICLE about how this dude slly a*ted women. I was shocked and sent the link to my Amy, worried for her. She replies with “Don’t worry, I know! He’s a changed man!! I can’t have my baby with no daddy!” Literally that, with some other stuff. Keep in mind he was only charged 2 years ago with barely any punishment. (It didn’t say exactly on the article) I, decided to leave it at that but told Amy that if she needs me, she can text or call anytime and I can help.
Fast forward to when Amy becomes a bridezilla…
Amy asks me to be her MOH! Not a BM, (not baby mamas auntie charlotte 🤭) a MOH!! And my fiancé was asked to be a best man. I accepted because Amy and I were pretty close. As soon as I accept, Amy clicks a switch. She informed me as a MOH I should be paying for the catering, BM dresses, and HER dress. As well as the Air BNB for a resort area in Hawaii! I told her that I would be willing to pay for catering and the BM dress, as well as mine (my fiancé and I were pretty well off, he said it would fine to do so.) just the total of those things would have been almost 3,000 dollars. (1,500 for dresses and 1,500 for food) she tells me that she needs help because she’s pregnant and can’t work. Amy was 2 months pregnant and worked part time at a desk. I tell her I’m sorry, but 10k quite a bit. She huffs and puffs but gets over it.
ONE DAY before the wedding we are rehearsing. It’s going well, until Amy tells me I need to change the menu for food and the BM dresses. I was shocked and asked why to which she said the menu we had now was not trendy enough and she liked a new color for the dresses. I inform her that I can’t make that happen with adjustments with the dresses and we already had the food in a freezer. Amy gets LIVID. Saying how she’s done soo much for me by being my friend and she can’t afford to change the menu. Like okay then don’t do it girl. Her fiancé took her home. I got a text from her saying how she sooo pregnant (as in 2-3 months) and she just gets cranky sometimes. More like delusional (not even delulu).
Day of the wedding comes and I see the cream white BM dresses an olive/baby poop green.I was shocked and asked Amy what happened. She said she dyed them the color she wanted them! I was surprised but didn’t bother her about it because it was her wedding. 20 minutes later, she asks if I can do her and her BMs makeup. I asked where the makeup artist was and she said she cancelled them to save herself some money. I told her I don’t do very good make up and I only do simple make up and she’s like oh OK sure do it good though. So I do 5 full faces of makeup including mine. By the time that’s done I’m exhausted mentally and we have 2 hours until the ceremony. I go to find Amy’s dress and can’t so I ask her where it is. This MF tells me I was to buy it!! I tell her I bought mine and the BMs dresses. Amy starts freaking out and lashing out on me. I tell her to calm down and I can get a white party dress if mine (looks like it could be for a wedding) and it will still look great in her. She goes “Ooh nice I don’t have to charge anyone for me renting a dress” and I’m like gurl.
Ceremony comes without too much trouble… until.
I have this teenage cousin (15-16f) of Amy who tells me Ben has been trying to get him and her alone. This poor girl we’ll call Carla was having a panic attack so my fiancé (he’s a psychologist) calms her down quickly and has her explain the situation to Amy hoping Amy will know what to do. What does Amy decide to do? To tell Carla she is a liar and Ben is too perfect to want a DISGUSTING LITTLE GIRL LIKE HER. This is when I had enough and tell Amy that that was horrible of her and I will be leaving with Carla and her accompanying people. Amy scoffs at me and just goes back to the crowd to look like the perfect wife and person in front of everyone.
I eventually was able to completely cut off ties with Amy and her family. Ben is now in jail or was and Amy now has a drug addiction (probably from the help of Ben) with her parents raising her kid to keep him safe.
That is my tea. (Sorry it’s so long and if there are spelling mistakes)
submitted by OrangeCatsRule13 to CharlotteDobreYouTube [link] [comments]
Long one so buckle up! So I (21f at the time) met this girl we’ll call Amy. I met Amy volunteering at a library where she just ordered people on what to do, despite only being a volunteer herself, not a librarian. Anyway… only after 7 months of knowing her she dates this guy, (we’ll call him Ben) and gets engaged within two months because she was pregnant. I kid you not, she married this guy 3 months after meeting him. I thought that was a questionable choice, but was not confrontational.
When my then fiancé and I went on a double date with Amy and Ben, Ben was nice. My fiancé loved hanging out with him due to similarities in hobbies. After dinner in bed, my fiancé is on his computer and trying to add Ben on Facebook. After searching his name up and trying nicknames and full names, we find a FRICKIN ARTICLE about how this dude slly a*ted women. I was shocked and sent the link to my Amy, worried for her. She replies with “Don’t worry, I know! He’s a changed man!! I can’t have my baby with no daddy!” Literally that, with some other stuff. Keep in mind he was only charged 2 years ago with barely any punishment. (It didn’t say exactly on the article) I, decided to leave it at that but told Amy that if she needs me, she can text or call anytime and I can help.
Fast forward to when Amy becomes a bridezilla…
Amy asks me to be her MOH! Not a BM, (not baby mamas auntie charlotte 🤭) a MOH!! And my fiancé was asked to be a best man. I accepted because Amy and I were pretty close. As soon as I accept, Amy clicks a switch. She informed me as a MOH I should be paying for the catering, BM dresses, and HER dress. As well as the Air BNB for a resort area in Hawaii! I told her that I would be willing to pay for catering and the BM dress, as well as mine (my fiancé and I were pretty well off, he said it would fine to do so.) just the total of those things would have been almost 3,000 dollars. (1,500 for dresses and 1,500 for food) she tells me that she needs help because she’s pregnant and can’t work. Amy was 2 months pregnant and worked part time at a desk. I tell her I’m sorry, but 10k quite a bit. She huffs and puffs but gets over it.
ONE DAY before the wedding we are rehearsing. It’s going well, until Amy tells me I need to change the menu for food and the BM dresses. I was shocked and asked why to which she said the menu we had now was not trendy enough and she liked a new color for the dresses. I inform her that I can’t make that happen with adjustments with the dresses and we already had the food in a freezer. Amy gets LIVID. Saying how she’s done soo much for me by being my friend and she can’t afford to change the menu. Like okay then don’t do it girl. Her fiancé took her home. I got a text from her saying how she sooo pregnant (as in 2-3 months) and she just gets cranky sometimes. More like delusional (not even delulu).
Day of the wedding comes and I see the cream white BM dresses an olive/baby poop green.I was shocked and asked Amy what happened. She said she dyed them the color she wanted them! I was surprised but didn’t bother her about it because it was her wedding. 20 minutes later, she asks if I can do her and her BMs makeup. I asked where the makeup artist was and she said she cancelled them to save herself some money. I told her I don’t do very good make up and I only do simple make up and she’s like oh OK sure do it good though. So I do 5 full faces of makeup including mine. By the time that’s done I’m exhausted mentally and we have 2 hours until the ceremony. I go to find Amy’s dress and can’t so I ask her where it is. This MF tells me I was to buy it!! I tell her I bought mine and the BMs dresses. Amy starts freaking out and lashing out on me. I tell her to calm down and I can get a white party dress if mine (looks like it could be for a wedding) and it will still look great in her. She goes “Ooh nice I don’t have to charge anyone for me renting a dress” and I’m like gurl.
Ceremony comes without too much trouble… until.
I have this teenage cousin (15-16f) of Amy who tells me Ben has been trying to get him and her alone. This poor girl we’ll call Carla was having a panic attack so my fiancé (he’s a psychologist) calms her down quickly and has her explain the situation to Amy hoping Amy will know what to do. What does Amy decide to do? To tell Carla she is a liar and Ben is too perfect to want a DISGUSTING LITTLE GIRL LIKE HER. This is when I had enough and tell Amy that that was horrible of her and I will be leaving with Carla and her accompanying people. Amy scoffs at me and just goes back to the crowd to look like the perfect wife and person in front of everyone.
I eventually was able to completely cut off ties with Amy and her family. Ben is now in jail or was and Amy now has a drug addiction (probably from the help of Ben) with her parents raising her kid to keep him safe.
That is my tea. (Sorry it’s so long and if there are spelling mistakes)
2024.05.16 05:08 yoyosquared What do I say?
I got a ticket a while back going 64 in a 45 on Rt 28. My court date (says "Trial Notice/2nd Appearance" on the letter) is coming up, and I really just have no idea what to say. I will be representing myself and I've had tickets before, but for the previous ones I never really had to say anything since one got sorted out via plea bargain by mail, and the other the prosecuter gave me the reduction and a driving course (the Alive at 25 one) so all I had to do was accept it with the judge. Even though they were reduced, does the court know they used to be speeding tickets? ie is my record clean or not? And do I ask for a reduction? Do I say I'm really sorry and will never do it again? Do I own up to it? Do I deny it? I prefer not to make an excuse, but if that's the best option which one do I say? What are they looking to hear? If it matters, the ticket corresponding evidence thing is blank, they didn't put what I said on it this time. I'm 19 years old as well if that changes anything.
Thanks, any help will be greatly appreciated!
Edit: I see that the rules say no asking for legal advice, I don't want legal advice, I just literally have no idea what I'm supposed to say. Thanks!
submitted by yoyosquared to upstateNYtraffictix [link] [comments]
Thanks, any help will be greatly appreciated!
Edit: I see that the rules say no asking for legal advice, I don't want legal advice, I just literally have no idea what I'm supposed to say. Thanks!
2024.05.16 05:08 Necessary-Simple4817 Divorced single parent
My daughter is 3. We used to be so close she was the sweetest little thing and we always enjoyed our time together. I have a week on week off rotation with her father.
For about two months now her behavior and attitude with me have been declining. She says things like “I don’t care” “I don’t have to” “no I don’t have to do that” she screams at the top of her lungs like a horror movie. She is acting out at daycare ONLY when I have her. She punched a kid in the face today.
Every night now is a struggle I’ve tried all the tricks and things. Gotten answers in forums and tried a little of everything. Night time is taking about 2 1/2 hours now. Whereas she has always been perfectly sleep trained. It always ends in her screaming. Because this takes so long it means I have zero time to reset my brain. I work a very high stress fast paced job. Come home to a disrespectful loud and rude baby. Then when she is finally done being a terror I have to go straight to bed. I have mental health problems so having no time to myself is no bueno but MORE importantly I feel like I make my kid miserable. She is so mean and nasty to me but absolutely perfect with her dad. He tells me he doesn’t know why I “can’t handle being a parent” and he tells me I should give my rights over to him.
Am I being selfish? Should I give my rights over to him since my daughter clearly is having the worst time with me? Is that giving up? I don’t know what to do anymore I just want what’s best for her.
submitted by Necessary-Simple4817 to toddlers [link] [comments]
For about two months now her behavior and attitude with me have been declining. She says things like “I don’t care” “I don’t have to” “no I don’t have to do that” she screams at the top of her lungs like a horror movie. She is acting out at daycare ONLY when I have her. She punched a kid in the face today.
Every night now is a struggle I’ve tried all the tricks and things. Gotten answers in forums and tried a little of everything. Night time is taking about 2 1/2 hours now. Whereas she has always been perfectly sleep trained. It always ends in her screaming. Because this takes so long it means I have zero time to reset my brain. I work a very high stress fast paced job. Come home to a disrespectful loud and rude baby. Then when she is finally done being a terror I have to go straight to bed. I have mental health problems so having no time to myself is no bueno but MORE importantly I feel like I make my kid miserable. She is so mean and nasty to me but absolutely perfect with her dad. He tells me he doesn’t know why I “can’t handle being a parent” and he tells me I should give my rights over to him.
Am I being selfish? Should I give my rights over to him since my daughter clearly is having the worst time with me? Is that giving up? I don’t know what to do anymore I just want what’s best for her.
2024.05.16 05:08 Petapetraaa Really need some relationship advice 😞
I really don’t know why I’m writing this. Part of me wants to be told I’m overreacting I guess
My childhood and 20s were rough, but I have managed to claw my way to some kind of normal life. After burning out and getting fired from a hospitality job, I decided to make a career change, take a 2 years off and pursue my masters - finishing at the height of Covid.
I did really well in my program, enjoyed the research, and was encouraged to continue for a doctorate thru the same school that was only supposed to add an extra 2 years to my studies. I was struggling to find a job and dealing with some family issues back home so I thought it was a great idea. I figured I would try to find a full time job in my field in the meantime and could always finish my doctorate later in life if needed. The summer before I started, I started dating my bf at this time.
Unfortunately, due to some setbacks with my school (not on my part ) things are taking longer than expected to finish the program. I’m okay with this, despite everything, I enjoy my work and feel like I’m finally thriving in life. At the beginning of my program I was working a somewhat full time job unrelated to my field and found it difficult to manage everything. I decided instead to pursue internships that allowed for flexibility in my studying, would bring in some finances as needed while helping me gain needed experience in the field. I have been fully transparent with him about everything and he has repeatedly said he was supportive of my decisions. Since then, I have been surviving financially on a combo of student loans (taking out the bare minimum required to pay for school + little more to help cover emergencies), internship paychecks, and a meager stipend (good for 2 years and is enough to cover my portion of rent).
My boyfriend however, finds himself constantly getting worked up every so often over how my life is going. We find ourselves having the same argument every few weeks and I’m exhausted trying to navigate things with him. He feels that my school is stringing me along for whatever reason and they’ll only push my expected graduation further down the road. (He’s right that they are annoying at times but things like my advisor’s spouse suddenly dying can’t be helped). We are both in our early 30s but he seems to feel that I am wasting my time doing my studies and internships. I just completed an internship at a very prestigious organization and returned to finish up what I hope will be the last year of my doctorate. At the same time I started this internship, I received another internship offer at another prestigious organization that was due to start when the first one ended. However, I’m unable to start until they finish a working clearance for me that was delayed due to a mix up in my paper work. The offer is still on the table and they are flexible with my start date once I receive my clearance. I took this as a sign to focus on school and try to get as much done as possible before this new internship starts and hopefully be on my way to graduation and a new job by the end of the year.
In the meantime, I’ve been applying for full time positions, acting as if this internship won’t work out, but I’ve been picky in the positions I’m applying to for my own sanity and because this internship is literally my dream position and I’m remaining optimistic that things will fall into place and they’ll keep me on. I’m still being realistic and planning for every possible outcome!
My boyfriend finds himself constantly getting worked up over this. He works a well paying full time job and despite me not making as much as him, we have been able to enjoy ourselves pretty well over the two years or so vacation and gift wise. We split everything 50/50, with myself (I feel) contributing more to household expenses because I am home more and want to ensure things are nice and well taken care of. I’ve never complained because I really don’t care, in the end, I’m able to save money because we live together and I would be spending the same amount on everything even if I was single. I’m also extremely cautious with my finances and make sure to budget well so that I can afford all my necessities/bills, add some money to my savings, and have a little extra left over to enjoy life when I can. I have only mentioned once how I wish we could contribute proportionally based on our “incomes” or at least he would be willing to accommodate when we go out to eat or whatever. (he really enjoys food and will try everything on the menu. I mentioned it’s difficult for me to pay sometimes because I don’t always budget that high for restaurant outings.) This of course started a huge argument and him nearly accusing me of asking him to pay entirely for my expenses at all times… I felt like I was losing my mind.
I understand it’s frustrating for him to be living a little bit less well off than he expects. He wants a bigger apartment and to start a family. I tell him I’m not holding him back from having these things. Im not holding him hostage, my life will not fall apart if we break up. It will be difficult of course but I can always return back to my family until I get back on my feet. I have told him I’m more than willing to find a part time job if it makes him feel better, but he has repeatedly told me I need to focus on my career. But! For whatever reason, he doesn’t see internships as work… which is confusing and! He is adamant that he won’t support me unless we’re married, but he feels he can’t marry me until I’m more “stable”. That’s fine with me, I understand from his perspective he’s got some family issues and finds himself supporting his mom in her older age. I honestly think he has a fear I’ll end up like his mother.
I love him deeply but this is my life right now and it’s not like I don’t want these things too. I do, I think about them daily and it pushes me to keep working even when things feel impossible. I told him us living together was great because I’m able to save money and get a head start on life before my new career takes off. But he feels like I’m not taking life seriously and that one day I’m just gonna decide to drop out and either (a) do nothing with my life and expect him to pay for everything or (b) change my mind about my career “again” and keep going to school. It almost feels like he doesn’t believe I’m in school for good reason. I could NEVER bring myself to do either of those things, I’ve struggled enough and I’ve watched women in my family rely on men and I REFUSE to let that happen to me. In his culture it’s unheard of to change your career field and it’s even weirder that someone in their 30s is doing internships. Pursuing a PhD is also weird to him because in his field it’s only if you want to become a professor, in my field, academia is an option but also a lot of jobs often require a PhD! For the most part it’s not crazy for people in my field to have done multiple internships before their first job.
Explaining this every month is tiring and our argument today I found myself speechless for the first time. I’m so done fighting with him about this and I want to leave but I just don’t want to feel like I’m overreacting in what is probably just a season in our relationship. I also feel it’s unfair that I would have to uproot my entire life if we were to break up. He is incredibly loving and supportive otherwise. During our arguments it’s like he comes back to his senses halfway thru and suddenly realizes he was being unfair and we make up and go back to normal. It’s just these random bouts were he gets too in his head and starts overthinking and it’s hard to bring him back to where we were before in that moment.
I feel like I’m going crazy and talking to a brick wall when we get into our arguments. And now that I’ve typed everything out I know I probably sound crazy. If I were a friend of mine I would’ve told me to dump him a long time ago.
submitted by Petapetraaa to blackladies [link] [comments]
My childhood and 20s were rough, but I have managed to claw my way to some kind of normal life. After burning out and getting fired from a hospitality job, I decided to make a career change, take a 2 years off and pursue my masters - finishing at the height of Covid.
I did really well in my program, enjoyed the research, and was encouraged to continue for a doctorate thru the same school that was only supposed to add an extra 2 years to my studies. I was struggling to find a job and dealing with some family issues back home so I thought it was a great idea. I figured I would try to find a full time job in my field in the meantime and could always finish my doctorate later in life if needed. The summer before I started, I started dating my bf at this time.
Unfortunately, due to some setbacks with my school (not on my part ) things are taking longer than expected to finish the program. I’m okay with this, despite everything, I enjoy my work and feel like I’m finally thriving in life. At the beginning of my program I was working a somewhat full time job unrelated to my field and found it difficult to manage everything. I decided instead to pursue internships that allowed for flexibility in my studying, would bring in some finances as needed while helping me gain needed experience in the field. I have been fully transparent with him about everything and he has repeatedly said he was supportive of my decisions. Since then, I have been surviving financially on a combo of student loans (taking out the bare minimum required to pay for school + little more to help cover emergencies), internship paychecks, and a meager stipend (good for 2 years and is enough to cover my portion of rent).
My boyfriend however, finds himself constantly getting worked up every so often over how my life is going. We find ourselves having the same argument every few weeks and I’m exhausted trying to navigate things with him. He feels that my school is stringing me along for whatever reason and they’ll only push my expected graduation further down the road. (He’s right that they are annoying at times but things like my advisor’s spouse suddenly dying can’t be helped). We are both in our early 30s but he seems to feel that I am wasting my time doing my studies and internships. I just completed an internship at a very prestigious organization and returned to finish up what I hope will be the last year of my doctorate. At the same time I started this internship, I received another internship offer at another prestigious organization that was due to start when the first one ended. However, I’m unable to start until they finish a working clearance for me that was delayed due to a mix up in my paper work. The offer is still on the table and they are flexible with my start date once I receive my clearance. I took this as a sign to focus on school and try to get as much done as possible before this new internship starts and hopefully be on my way to graduation and a new job by the end of the year.
In the meantime, I’ve been applying for full time positions, acting as if this internship won’t work out, but I’ve been picky in the positions I’m applying to for my own sanity and because this internship is literally my dream position and I’m remaining optimistic that things will fall into place and they’ll keep me on. I’m still being realistic and planning for every possible outcome!
My boyfriend finds himself constantly getting worked up over this. He works a well paying full time job and despite me not making as much as him, we have been able to enjoy ourselves pretty well over the two years or so vacation and gift wise. We split everything 50/50, with myself (I feel) contributing more to household expenses because I am home more and want to ensure things are nice and well taken care of. I’ve never complained because I really don’t care, in the end, I’m able to save money because we live together and I would be spending the same amount on everything even if I was single. I’m also extremely cautious with my finances and make sure to budget well so that I can afford all my necessities/bills, add some money to my savings, and have a little extra left over to enjoy life when I can. I have only mentioned once how I wish we could contribute proportionally based on our “incomes” or at least he would be willing to accommodate when we go out to eat or whatever. (he really enjoys food and will try everything on the menu. I mentioned it’s difficult for me to pay sometimes because I don’t always budget that high for restaurant outings.) This of course started a huge argument and him nearly accusing me of asking him to pay entirely for my expenses at all times… I felt like I was losing my mind.
I understand it’s frustrating for him to be living a little bit less well off than he expects. He wants a bigger apartment and to start a family. I tell him I’m not holding him back from having these things. Im not holding him hostage, my life will not fall apart if we break up. It will be difficult of course but I can always return back to my family until I get back on my feet. I have told him I’m more than willing to find a part time job if it makes him feel better, but he has repeatedly told me I need to focus on my career. But! For whatever reason, he doesn’t see internships as work… which is confusing and! He is adamant that he won’t support me unless we’re married, but he feels he can’t marry me until I’m more “stable”. That’s fine with me, I understand from his perspective he’s got some family issues and finds himself supporting his mom in her older age. I honestly think he has a fear I’ll end up like his mother.
I love him deeply but this is my life right now and it’s not like I don’t want these things too. I do, I think about them daily and it pushes me to keep working even when things feel impossible. I told him us living together was great because I’m able to save money and get a head start on life before my new career takes off. But he feels like I’m not taking life seriously and that one day I’m just gonna decide to drop out and either (a) do nothing with my life and expect him to pay for everything or (b) change my mind about my career “again” and keep going to school. It almost feels like he doesn’t believe I’m in school for good reason. I could NEVER bring myself to do either of those things, I’ve struggled enough and I’ve watched women in my family rely on men and I REFUSE to let that happen to me. In his culture it’s unheard of to change your career field and it’s even weirder that someone in their 30s is doing internships. Pursuing a PhD is also weird to him because in his field it’s only if you want to become a professor, in my field, academia is an option but also a lot of jobs often require a PhD! For the most part it’s not crazy for people in my field to have done multiple internships before their first job.
Explaining this every month is tiring and our argument today I found myself speechless for the first time. I’m so done fighting with him about this and I want to leave but I just don’t want to feel like I’m overreacting in what is probably just a season in our relationship. I also feel it’s unfair that I would have to uproot my entire life if we were to break up. He is incredibly loving and supportive otherwise. During our arguments it’s like he comes back to his senses halfway thru and suddenly realizes he was being unfair and we make up and go back to normal. It’s just these random bouts were he gets too in his head and starts overthinking and it’s hard to bring him back to where we were before in that moment.
I feel like I’m going crazy and talking to a brick wall when we get into our arguments. And now that I’ve typed everything out I know I probably sound crazy. If I were a friend of mine I would’ve told me to dump him a long time ago.
2024.05.16 05:08 Formal-Ad-1322 Aita for being angry at my cousin who's in the hospital about to deliver her 26 week old baby?
So this is likely to be a pretty long post but I will try to make it as short as I can I just feel that there is a lot of things that provide context for this so first off I am a 31 yr old female. When I was young about 10 years old, I started to go through puberty. Pretty young yes, but I had yet to start my cycle. I just started having wider hips and developing a bosom and also some attitude I started having some mood swings all perfectly normal. Right. wrong. My mom did not like that I was having mood swings and basically not following her every command so she started me on something for hormones, a natural herb that was supposed to help with the mood swings. Now I think that it caused problems I started my cycle when I was 13 and after a year I was told that I most likely would not be able to have kids that if I did I would have to go through long treatments in order to do so. I have PCOS I would have sometimes two or three cycles a year and some other not so great symptoms Now when I was younger it didn't really hit me that this would affect my life. I always thought I'd be a mom has always wanted to be a mom and I just thought you know this doesn't matter. It'll still happen. When I was 18 I had a boyfriend but I was also a virgin. I didn't really know anything about anything per say He was older and definitely knew what he was doing. Being a virgin and growing up in a Mormon l conservative home. The only thing I'd been told about relationships in the bedroom was and I quote "it hurts" so I had no idea about condoms or anything like that. I had just moved out of the house so I was still trying to learn all this. Needless to say I ended up pregnant. I made it 9 weeks before I miscarried due to the stress of finding out my boyfriend was cheating on me and I was the side piece coming from a conservative Mormon home that was really stressful for me and also because my mom was very conservative and so was my family. I didn't really tell anyone. I just kind of dealt with it on my own and so after that I kind of fell off the deep end and I started drinking and partying about 4 years later when I was 23. I met someone new but this time I knew better. I was careful to always use contraceptives and I figured if they failed I most likely wouldn't get pregnant anyways because I was continuously being told by doctors that I probably wouldn't be able to have kids well I got pregnant again. I made it 11 weeks before I miscarried again this time however, I told my mom she was the only one I told and I've never told anyone since because she didn't believe me. she said even if that was true that the baby was better off and at least the baby would be perfect in heaven. after that I really went off The deep end I started drinking smoking partying some recreational drug use. Basically anything to numb the pain and this time I didn't even tell the boyfriend and he ended up moving Not long after that Anyways. I really went down a rabbit hole and if it weren't for my brother helping pull me out of it and getting me a job out of state away from all the people that I knew pretty much except for him. He had a job there too. I probably would have continued down that path but when I moved I stopped drinking. I stopped smoking. I stopped all the partying everything and really just kind of did some soul searching on what I wanted and who I wanted to be and what my life would be like I was 25 when I moved back and I was doing a lot better than. I got a job. I was saving up I got my new car and I'd moved in with my parents to help them with some issues they were having. My dad had cancer and my mom has had a slew of health problems so I have yet to move out since I basically helped take care of everything around the house and make sure everything's the way it needs to be When I was 29 I met another guy we dated for a couple months and I ended up pregnant now when I had moved a couple things had happened. I think the change in lifestyle and also the fact that it could have been a different city. It could have been the change in elevation. Whatever else, but I started having regular consistent cycles and I stopped having a lot of the issues that I've been having with my hormones. But I still thought that I would not be able to have a kid at that point though. But I found out when I was just over 4 weeks and because of my past miscarriages I went to the doctor as soon as I could to make sure everything was okay and he monitored me very closely. Now because of my fabulous doctor I was able to deliver a healthy baby girl and I love her more than life itself. But I seem to have a bad choice in men because her "father" wanted nothing to do with her and it broke my heart. I have tried my best to do whatever I can to make my daughter happy and healthy and have a great life but I have still yet to meet anyone that could be any sort of father figure for her. Now on to my cousin we have never gotten along for whatever reason, ever since I was young she would alienate me in any way she could. I never knew why. She's actually only a little bit older than I am by, like not even a full year and my other cousins that were right around my age. All kind of went with her and alienated me too. So I ended up playing a lot of the time with all the younger kids by which I'm talking about 4 to 5 years younger than me and when you're young. And you don't really know why you're being treated that way it can leave a lasting impression. I have never been close with her and I don't think I ever will be. I don't wish her any. Ill will but I don't like her either not long ago she found out she was pregnant and she's had fertility issues as well it ended her first marriage but not only did she find someone who loves her but also loves their baby and wants their baby and that created some jealousy in me. I'm not going to lie. I was very angry that she was still doing all the things that I had given up partying and such and she still was able to find someone. And on top of that have a baby now. A few days ago she went into pre-term labor. She is just over 25 weeks and they've been struggling to keep the baby inside for the last couple days. Tomorrow they're going to deliver the baby at 26 weeks now I hope every thing turns out well cause I wouldn't wish the pain of loosing a child on anyone but I can't help but feel a little angry because everyone in our family is coming out of the wood work to help her and comfort her and be there for her and they are showing her so much love and support. And her boyfriend is right there with her and is supporting her and I just feel so angry and hurt because I never had that support. I mean no one really knew about any of my miscarriages and the one person I trusted didn't even believe me. And my mom now is bending over backwards to try and be as helpful as she can and I think that's what makes me the maddest no I don't hate my cousin. I don't wish her any ill will. I hope that everything goes well with her baby and her boyfriend and that everything turns out great but I can't seem to make myself bend over backwards for her either and jump at every piece of information that is being given. In fact, I wish I didn't even hear it at all because every time I do it just digs that knife deeper and deeper and I don't know how to deal with it. All I know is I am so angry at my family so aita for being angry at my cousin?
submitted by Formal-Ad-1322 to dustythunder [link] [comments]
2024.05.16 05:07 reasonable_product Will I ever find someone??
Hey! I’m a 25 year old girl and I have never been in a serious relationship. I’ve had non-committed fuck boy flings and have experienced all the ups and downs with that. My parents also got divorced due to infidelity during my teens (maybe trauma?) But either way I work in sales, I constantly put myself out there and I go on Hinge dates frequently but have never been able to find someone. I feel left out and left behind compared to my friends and family. I have a great support system and cool hobbies but I just can’t seem to find love. I just want to experience and feel the things that come with a relationship and I can’t seem to shake how this has impacted my self worth and self esteem. Has anyone else been through this? Did you find someone someday?
submitted by reasonable_product to lonely [link] [comments]
2024.05.16 05:06 KiwiArms Hello, Respect Mr. Frog (Smiling Friends)
MR. FROG
"I'm Mr. Frog. This is my show. I eat the bug."Mr. Frog is one of the most famous, powerful and influential people on the planet. A green demonic creature who became a celebrity beloved the world over for his long tenure on The Mr. Frog Show, his cancellation due to a scuffle with a TMZ reporter led the Smiling Friends reaching out to assist him in getting his career back on track.
More successful than ever, he went on to run in the 2024 United States presidential election, and defeated the incumbent President Jimble by a single vote.
- He eats the Bug.
- Holds a TMZ reporter in his mouth for seven minutes.
- Very quickly consumes a fully grown man.
- Causes Pim immense pain by tugging on his exposed nerve ending.
- Nearly chokes a man to death with one hand.
- Suffering from withdrawal, accidentally slices a woman's hands off with one of those giant checks.
- Flips a car.
- Caves a woman's face in with one punch.
- Covers a sizable distance very quickly.
- Very quickly eats the Bug.
- Sneaks up on Pim.
- Steals things from store windows in like, one frame.
- Owns various guns.
- Has a rocket launcher.
- Has those Green Goblin grenades that turn people to skeletons.
"I ate the bug. This is the end. I love you."
2024.05.16 05:06 Chewy_Sour_Candy No, I will never get along with your mistress.
I know he will never see this..I just need to get it off my chest.
Dear person I no longer recognize,
To answer your question, No. We will never be one big happy blended family. I will not share my space or time with your mistress in any capacity. She will not be allowed at any event for the kids that I am attending. The audacity you have to even think it was possible is astonishing. With the no contact order in place, I will call the police the minute I see her. Even if I had met that girl under different circumstances, I would have very quickly figured out that she is not the type of person I would ever associate with. She's two-faced, manipulative, petty and vindictive. She's not my type of person, I don't roll like that. The way she manipulated our child and continues to do so, and then constantly interrogating her trying to get information on me. You have no idea what all this has done to our kid's mental health.
Mistress admitted to stalking me, then goes telling people I am stalking her. ( I know your neighbor, fyi... he's tired of her shit too) She throws rocks then sits on her hands and cries victim. Both of you do. I have met people in this town who don't like her for her entitled, catty & petty behaviors. No wonder she goes through friends like underwear. I have a security video of her driving past my house calling me a fuking cnt in your vehicle. She has done so much to come after me, as if stealing my husband weren't enough. Just my existence, and the thought of you trying to come back to me again has made her insecurities take the wheel, the girl is completely unhinged. You would think I would be the one causing a scene considering the circumstances, but that's the difference between a woman and a child. I am so over the gaslighting and all the other toxic behaviors. Both of you need mental help and a big old dose of accountability.
So, if the only way that you can be nice to me, is for me to make friends with and co-parent our child with your mistress after all the problems she's caused...NO...I'd rather you keep being a dick to me, it doesn't bother me that you're being an asshole. If you haven't noticed, I don't react. Karma will absolutely catch up to the both of you. Trust that.
Oh, and I HOPE you're telling your lawyer all the delusional lies your spewing about me. Please try to use it in court. I have irrefutable evidence to prove you're lying and with it, I will destroy any credibility you had left. I also have you recorded blackmailing and threatening me if I filed a no contact order on her. I have you recorded saying how petty and vindictive she is. I have you recorded saying you were going to hit the guy I'm dating just for being on the road beside your apartment.... His kids live ON THAT ROAD, he has to travel down it to get to them. My guy doesn't even know what you look like and doesn't care to. Unlike the two of you, we're focused on us and our living our own lives. I have never ever made threats to either of you. I may have wished awful things on you both in the beginning, but I never made a threat.
I have no choice but to co-parent with you for the one kid you have left that acknowledges your existence. For our child, I have and will continue to be cordial with you. But I will not befriend your mistress, I will not be co-parenting with her. She is not my equal, she is the same age as our oldest child, and she behaves like our youngest.
Never bring it up to me again.
Best regards,
The Ex-Wife
submitted by Chewy_Sour_Candy to UnsentLettersRaw [link] [comments]
Dear person I no longer recognize,
To answer your question, No. We will never be one big happy blended family. I will not share my space or time with your mistress in any capacity. She will not be allowed at any event for the kids that I am attending. The audacity you have to even think it was possible is astonishing. With the no contact order in place, I will call the police the minute I see her. Even if I had met that girl under different circumstances, I would have very quickly figured out that she is not the type of person I would ever associate with. She's two-faced, manipulative, petty and vindictive. She's not my type of person, I don't roll like that. The way she manipulated our child and continues to do so, and then constantly interrogating her trying to get information on me. You have no idea what all this has done to our kid's mental health.
Mistress admitted to stalking me, then goes telling people I am stalking her. ( I know your neighbor, fyi... he's tired of her shit too) She throws rocks then sits on her hands and cries victim. Both of you do. I have met people in this town who don't like her for her entitled, catty & petty behaviors. No wonder she goes through friends like underwear. I have a security video of her driving past my house calling me a fuking cnt in your vehicle. She has done so much to come after me, as if stealing my husband weren't enough. Just my existence, and the thought of you trying to come back to me again has made her insecurities take the wheel, the girl is completely unhinged. You would think I would be the one causing a scene considering the circumstances, but that's the difference between a woman and a child. I am so over the gaslighting and all the other toxic behaviors. Both of you need mental help and a big old dose of accountability.
So, if the only way that you can be nice to me, is for me to make friends with and co-parent our child with your mistress after all the problems she's caused...NO...I'd rather you keep being a dick to me, it doesn't bother me that you're being an asshole. If you haven't noticed, I don't react. Karma will absolutely catch up to the both of you. Trust that.
Oh, and I HOPE you're telling your lawyer all the delusional lies your spewing about me. Please try to use it in court. I have irrefutable evidence to prove you're lying and with it, I will destroy any credibility you had left. I also have you recorded blackmailing and threatening me if I filed a no contact order on her. I have you recorded saying how petty and vindictive she is. I have you recorded saying you were going to hit the guy I'm dating just for being on the road beside your apartment.... His kids live ON THAT ROAD, he has to travel down it to get to them. My guy doesn't even know what you look like and doesn't care to. Unlike the two of you, we're focused on us and our living our own lives. I have never ever made threats to either of you. I may have wished awful things on you both in the beginning, but I never made a threat.
I have no choice but to co-parent with you for the one kid you have left that acknowledges your existence. For our child, I have and will continue to be cordial with you. But I will not befriend your mistress, I will not be co-parenting with her. She is not my equal, she is the same age as our oldest child, and she behaves like our youngest.
Never bring it up to me again.
Best regards,
The Ex-Wife
2024.05.16 05:06 younginsomniac00 I feel hopeless
For context, I started a an advanced program in 10th grade after spending myentire school like not really studying or working all that hard at school and passing by with decent marks. Not that I cared about marks at all up until then. Then 10th comes and suddenly I'm in an environment full of 'overachievers' and whatnot, getting slammed with horrible marks because of my horrible habits, which really had an effect on my mental health because by the second semester I knew I could do better but old habits die hard.
The first month of that summer I was just really depressed and felt like a failure, I'd lost a lot of my friends who didn't go into the advanced program and I couldn't go out and socialize all that much with people. On top of that I hated the feeling of being wasted potential so much, so by the end of July when I went on vacation somewhere I decided to study some topics in advance and work out here and there. Road trips to lots of different places really helped my mental health and made me happier, and the studying (while beneficiary) was mainly to build good habits and restore some of that lost confidence in myself, to make myself see that I'm more than just wasted potential.
September comes and school starts and I'm alone again (I live mainly by myself with money for groceries arriving every week, and no I'm not some rich brat I live in a relatively bad area and I had to budget by spending ~$25 every week. Better than a lot of people but certainly not upper-class). I do great at school; I'm at the top or at least in the top ranks in almost every subject, and while I'm not as active as I could be I give myself a pass since I'm living by myself after all.
Then it all goes downhill. There's a few factors; first is me being in a school play and having to spend long ours after school, while also somehow finding time for 3 tests (chemistry, math, and physics), and it all just made me burned out by the end. The cherry on top was me getting (for me) horrible marks on my math test and almost failing the physics one (arguably the hardest unit as well). I mostly spent time studying for the chemistry test and while I did get 100% there, it just didn't help the feeling of burnout and being upset. From here on out everything is completely my fault, I could've 100% made better decisions but I simply didn't.
First of all a 2 week winter break is approaching for which I'll have to go to another country, and my parents wanted me to go there early. In retrospect, it would've been so much better if I just didn't go and spent my time at school, I probably would've returned to my senses at some point instead of distracting myself.
I started missing class. Pure and simple, just skipping. I also started to just put off from doing assignments, not that there was a lot at this point but still. Most of my teachers also wanted to speak to me before I left to have some sort of plan as to what to do before I leave. Those conversations never happened because, of course, I skipped school. During the trip itself? Didn't do anything that was assigned to me online, didn't study any of the units the class was doing, didn't do a single fucking thing. I'd say I also got lazier during this period which made it infinitely harder to lock in and ger back into the flow of school again.
So, what did I do when I went back to school? More classes skipped, horrible sleep scheduling, almost all my grades went down a considerable amount, exams were done extremely poorly, and that's the end of the first semester. Oh, and multiple assignments were overdue. The start of the second semester was much the same, with my dumbass accumulating work and doing disastrously on tests. It took a while, particularly a 'pep talk' from a philosophy teacher that really touched me, but I managed to get it all under control and finish a lot of my work: late, but at least it's not a 0.
As I'm getting back into the flow of how I was during the start of this school year, I can't help but feel all the time I wasted, all the potential I had, I might be doing better than some of my peers but I failed myself. That entire summer I spent trying to create good habits and regain my confidence, it feels like it was all for nothing. Like everything I promised myself I'd do has gone down the gutter. Even though I'm trying my best now, some classes I've done permanently bad in and there's no fixing that. Even when I have small victories there's an overbearing sense of failure.
***okay sorry that was way longer than I initially intended it to be. In any case, thanks for reading!
submitted by younginsomniac00 to AdviceForTeens [link] [comments]
The first month of that summer I was just really depressed and felt like a failure, I'd lost a lot of my friends who didn't go into the advanced program and I couldn't go out and socialize all that much with people. On top of that I hated the feeling of being wasted potential so much, so by the end of July when I went on vacation somewhere I decided to study some topics in advance and work out here and there. Road trips to lots of different places really helped my mental health and made me happier, and the studying (while beneficiary) was mainly to build good habits and restore some of that lost confidence in myself, to make myself see that I'm more than just wasted potential.
September comes and school starts and I'm alone again (I live mainly by myself with money for groceries arriving every week, and no I'm not some rich brat I live in a relatively bad area and I had to budget by spending ~$25 every week. Better than a lot of people but certainly not upper-class). I do great at school; I'm at the top or at least in the top ranks in almost every subject, and while I'm not as active as I could be I give myself a pass since I'm living by myself after all.
Then it all goes downhill. There's a few factors; first is me being in a school play and having to spend long ours after school, while also somehow finding time for 3 tests (chemistry, math, and physics), and it all just made me burned out by the end. The cherry on top was me getting (for me) horrible marks on my math test and almost failing the physics one (arguably the hardest unit as well). I mostly spent time studying for the chemistry test and while I did get 100% there, it just didn't help the feeling of burnout and being upset. From here on out everything is completely my fault, I could've 100% made better decisions but I simply didn't.
First of all a 2 week winter break is approaching for which I'll have to go to another country, and my parents wanted me to go there early. In retrospect, it would've been so much better if I just didn't go and spent my time at school, I probably would've returned to my senses at some point instead of distracting myself.
I started missing class. Pure and simple, just skipping. I also started to just put off from doing assignments, not that there was a lot at this point but still. Most of my teachers also wanted to speak to me before I left to have some sort of plan as to what to do before I leave. Those conversations never happened because, of course, I skipped school. During the trip itself? Didn't do anything that was assigned to me online, didn't study any of the units the class was doing, didn't do a single fucking thing. I'd say I also got lazier during this period which made it infinitely harder to lock in and ger back into the flow of school again.
So, what did I do when I went back to school? More classes skipped, horrible sleep scheduling, almost all my grades went down a considerable amount, exams were done extremely poorly, and that's the end of the first semester. Oh, and multiple assignments were overdue. The start of the second semester was much the same, with my dumbass accumulating work and doing disastrously on tests. It took a while, particularly a 'pep talk' from a philosophy teacher that really touched me, but I managed to get it all under control and finish a lot of my work: late, but at least it's not a 0.
As I'm getting back into the flow of how I was during the start of this school year, I can't help but feel all the time I wasted, all the potential I had, I might be doing better than some of my peers but I failed myself. That entire summer I spent trying to create good habits and regain my confidence, it feels like it was all for nothing. Like everything I promised myself I'd do has gone down the gutter. Even though I'm trying my best now, some classes I've done permanently bad in and there's no fixing that. Even when I have small victories there's an overbearing sense of failure.
***okay sorry that was way longer than I initially intended it to be. In any case, thanks for reading!
2024.05.16 05:05 Competitive-Lake-579 Planning Stress Rant
I feel this is going to turn into mostly rant, but looking for any advice. My fiance and I are both 23. We set a date for June 2026, after she graduates grad school.
My family is in a better financial situation than hers. Her parents say they can contribute 10-20k. I’ve been open about contributing myself and asking my family for money if needed, but don’t want to insult her parents. We’ve already picked out a church for the ceremony, but everything else just turns into a fight.
I don’t care for events and going above and beyond for others. I’d rather have a 3 week honeymoon with that money and have a smaller wedding with immediate family and very close friends. She and her mom want 100 other people there from people they talk to everyday to people they haven’t talked to in years. She gets all pissy when I’m realistic with her about the modern day price of dress, venue, food, decorations, cameraman, DJ, and all the other small things. It’s not going to be under 20k with 150 people at a nice venue.
We can’t get past the decision of a venue, I bring up options in the 5-8k range so there’s more to spend on stuff it seems she cares more about (like her dress, she wants to shop at nice places, get it altered etc, I can tell she cares more about that). But no, no “crappy” venues, as compared to hotels and private mansions that are 15k+ for a few hours. Like I said, I’d rather spend that on a vacation for US.
I got put in the dog house when I suggested doing it at my familys property. Lots of outdoor space, nice peaceful setting, and then could use that money to just build the setup you want instead of 50-60% going to just pay for the space. But no, that’s a slap in the face doing at my place (2 hours is insulting far for her to have people travel).
Am I overreacting? What do I need to change about my mindset? I’m the flexible one, but also the realistic one, but apparently being like that causes fights every time the word wedding comes up.
If you read through this, I appreciate you.
submitted by Competitive-Lake-579 to weddingplanning [link] [comments]
My family is in a better financial situation than hers. Her parents say they can contribute 10-20k. I’ve been open about contributing myself and asking my family for money if needed, but don’t want to insult her parents. We’ve already picked out a church for the ceremony, but everything else just turns into a fight.
I don’t care for events and going above and beyond for others. I’d rather have a 3 week honeymoon with that money and have a smaller wedding with immediate family and very close friends. She and her mom want 100 other people there from people they talk to everyday to people they haven’t talked to in years. She gets all pissy when I’m realistic with her about the modern day price of dress, venue, food, decorations, cameraman, DJ, and all the other small things. It’s not going to be under 20k with 150 people at a nice venue.
We can’t get past the decision of a venue, I bring up options in the 5-8k range so there’s more to spend on stuff it seems she cares more about (like her dress, she wants to shop at nice places, get it altered etc, I can tell she cares more about that). But no, no “crappy” venues, as compared to hotels and private mansions that are 15k+ for a few hours. Like I said, I’d rather spend that on a vacation for US.
I got put in the dog house when I suggested doing it at my familys property. Lots of outdoor space, nice peaceful setting, and then could use that money to just build the setup you want instead of 50-60% going to just pay for the space. But no, that’s a slap in the face doing at my place (2 hours is insulting far for her to have people travel).
Am I overreacting? What do I need to change about my mindset? I’m the flexible one, but also the realistic one, but apparently being like that causes fights every time the word wedding comes up.
If you read through this, I appreciate you.
2024.05.16 05:05 reasonable_product 25F and never been in a relationship
Hey! I’m a 25 year old girl and I have never been in a serious relationship. I’ve had non-committed fuck boy flings and have experienced all the ups and downs with that. My parents also got divorced due to infidelity during my teens (maybe trauma?) But either way I work in sales, I constantly put myself out there and I go on Hinge dates frequently but have never been able to find someone. I feel left out and left behind compared to my friends and family. I have a great support system and cool hobbies but I just can’t seem to find love. I just want to experience and feel the things that come with a relationship and I can’t seem to shake how this has impacted my self worth and self esteem. Has anyone else been through this? Did you find someone someday?
submitted by reasonable_product to dating_advice [link] [comments]
2024.05.16 05:03 _TypeShyt My Mom just found all my stuff
I’m (17m) an idiot and I left a bunch of my clothes and thigh highs sitting out in my closet with the rest of my stuff cause I didn’t think anyone would ever actually go in, and I’m proud of my lineup. But I wasn’t paying attention and my Mom went into my room and she hung up my suit I got for prom. And I saw her come out and I couldn’t look at her and she just told me to hang up my dress shirt, my closet is small and there is no way she didn’t see, the shelf with all my stuff is like eye hight it is physically impossible she didn’t see everything. From what I’m looking at she would have seen like a bunch of thigh highs, my pink sweaters, my short shorts, my skirts too, most of my stuff is pink so I’m pretty much screwed. I am also single so I can’t say it’s not mine, And my parents completely think I’m strait, they had no clue about anything. What do I say I’m kinda freaking out rn.
submitted by _TypeShyt to feminineboys [link] [comments]