Quotes about boyfriends and girlfriends fighting
Entitled Ex-Girlfriends/Boyfriends
2016.08.14 14:26 ruthless_apricot Entitled Ex-Girlfriends/Boyfriends
**Entitled Ex-Girlfriend and Boyfriend stories** Share your tales of insanity, hatred, and most importantly, *revenge*.
2012.11.11 18:07 brendan0077 Bitch about your problems here
Need to get something off your chest? Here you will find a supportive community for anything you wish to bitch about. Friends, family, girlfriends/boyfriends, work, school, politics, religion, ANYTHING YOU WANT. A few rules: 1) Don't be a dick to someone who is honestly opening up to this community. 2) No real names, locations, etc... obviously. 3) Spammers and trollers are not welcome. Now, let's bitch about our problems together!
2014.09.03 13:56 licked_cupcake Support for nonBPDs to make sense of their abusive relationship with someone who has BPD
" BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). This subreddit is an abuse support forum.
2024.05.13 22:27 Kungodakufara When manicure đ almost outs me
So on Saturday was my best friend's lobola (a traditional custom where the boyfriend comes to pay bride price to the girlfriend's family),. It is a considered customary marriage here (valid) though you can still do "white wedding (church wedding)" if you want to.
Anyway, I always keep my nails short (for obvious reasons) unless I'm single đ . However as I was one of the girls (it was 5 of us) on my friend's lobola party, we had to have a manicure. All of us. I couldn't refuse and I had it done. It was, really beautiful tbh. However I had it removed Sunday night.
Today I met one of the girls who was at the function and she started asking why I had removed my nails because when we had them done, we all gushed about how nice they were. I honestly think I had the deer in headlights look for a second as I wasn't expecting the question then I said they were uncomfortable for work. I know she wasnt buying it but I changed the subject.
It's kinda exhausting how I have to be conscious of these little things so as to remain in the closet.
PS: I had a great time though. It was a great day and I was so happy for my bestie. We grew up together (bestie since 1st grade) and I consider her my sister. I wish I could have that with my girlfriend one day.
submitted by Kungodakufara to actuallesbians [link] [comments]
Anyway, I always keep my nails short (for obvious reasons) unless I'm single đ . However as I was one of the girls (it was 5 of us) on my friend's lobola party, we had to have a manicure. All of us. I couldn't refuse and I had it done. It was, really beautiful tbh. However I had it removed Sunday night.
Today I met one of the girls who was at the function and she started asking why I had removed my nails because when we had them done, we all gushed about how nice they were. I honestly think I had the deer in headlights look for a second as I wasn't expecting the question then I said they were uncomfortable for work. I know she wasnt buying it but I changed the subject.
It's kinda exhausting how I have to be conscious of these little things so as to remain in the closet.
PS: I had a great time though. It was a great day and I was so happy for my bestie. We grew up together (bestie since 1st grade) and I consider her my sister. I wish I could have that with my girlfriend one day.
2024.05.13 22:24 SmartFella233 I am trying to fight my hatred. How can I do this?
Context and upbringing:
As long as I remember I always wanted to hurt people. Not animals, just people. I was a loud and charismatic child, though always ready to jump at someone if I felt like that. For some reason no one tried to stop me from occasionall bullying. Maybe because I was pretty charming towards everyone.
It all changed when I was 8 years old. I, can't remember why, lifted a boy and tried to run with him. I slipped. He fell with me and hit his head at the wall. He didn't lose consciousness immediatly, but couldn't stand and started to cry. At the moment I didn't feel anything. Maybe only that I messed up, though not because someone was hurt, but because I could get grounded. Grounded I got. Boy was vomitting and laying in bed for several days and that was first time I actually got problems because of my cruelty.
In my country as a kid you can't go to prison unless you commited very horrific crime, but you can get in special category in law system. Let's call it "The List". If you get there you will have big problems with getting in good university, finding a job and etc. It simply means that you commited crime, though not very severe, and now police watches over you. It damages your reputation a lot.
For some reason, I still don't know why for sure, his parents forgave me after 2 days of deciding what to do with me. Those were two messed up days, my mom crying, my dad silent, my siblings absent(can't remember why though) and I realised what was happening and what I could het with that. Maybe I went traumatised, because even after amnesty I never ever again started a fight myself (and always tried to avoid it at all costs) and started to slowly change from extrovert to complete introvert-sociophob.
I was 8 at the moment of "accident" and my peak of loneliness and self-destruction was at 14 years old. No friends, excpet few people I never opened to, no girlfriend (because I was scared of them like they were aliens), complexes(overweight, acne and no geneticly good face) and hatred. Hatred was a problem I underestimated, but I will leave it for now.
At 14 I started to go to the gym. My older brother was picking on me so I went without much enthusiasm, but I trying my best there since it was better than simply losing my time.
Time went by, I had nothing in my life but my PC, school and gym. I was a good student so my marks were good. Gym started to pay off after about a year or something. My social skills were still dead, but I decided that I should learn masks and small talks (I couldn't do it as easy as most).
At 16 I learned about self-improvement. Tried it. Liked it. Decided to dedicate my time for it. Ended up with a lot of hate toward myself since I couldn't beat my laziness, but couldn't just brush it off anymore knowing that I could do more. I did improve though in every aspect of life. It was just not ideal, so I couldn't praise myself for it as I shoud have.
At 16 I thought that I was somewhat ready for a girl and in a bold manner (like an actual autist) asked the most attractive (in my opinion at least) girl in my school. To my surprise se accepted even though my initial goal was simply to beat fear and ask her at all. Date went AWFULY. Every alpha-male would die from cringe if they saw me that evening, but I was happy. I got lots of experience and threw a nice jab at my fears.
Fast forward two years. I am 18, studying in university since my studies paid off. My looks are better than ever. My self-esteem is somewhat adequate. I even got in a relationship and lost my v-card (something I considered impossible) to a 9/10 (on my scale). I broke up with her though, because I was tired of wearing a mask of a perfect caring boyfriend and her illogical and idiotic whims were getting on my nerves. I am a dick for that, but I really tried to be as good as I could. The biggest reason of my breakup was that I couldn't ignore hatred any longer. And that's how we finally get to the main part
Main problem and present:
I feel deep resentment towards human species. I imagine torturing and killing people from 13 years old and I can't simply brush those thoughts off. My mother did good job at programming me, so I have sense of moral. I know this is bad, so I project my thoughts only on "bad guys". I can sit for hours imagining how I would torture and maul pedophiles, children shooters, rapists and others scums. Sometimes when I watch videos with accidents where people get hurt I catch myself smiling. I don't like it since those people are innocent in those videos. I fear it. I am 18 and those thoughts are stronger than ever. My psychologist (which I finally went to) after 4 sessions decided to leave me because my case is "too complex", so she gave me numbers of better specialists. She told me that I do have clear psychopatic tendencies and that I am true narcissist. What should I do? I, don't know how, developed strong sense of justice and moral and my main dream and goal - is finding a true, pure love. I know that I don't want to think this cruel sick way. I know that I want to change, but how?
I decided to actually face this hatred and try to fight it because of anime "Vinland Saga". I want to be at peace, I want to bring peace. I want to be a kinder, better and stronger person. Genuinely good and kind. I even considered suicide to not let even a chance that I hurt somebody, but my family loves me deeply. They don't know of how cruel my thoughts are even towards them, but my death will mentally destroy at least my mother and grandmother. I can't do that. What should I do?
submitted by SmartFella233 to Advice [link] [comments]
As long as I remember I always wanted to hurt people. Not animals, just people. I was a loud and charismatic child, though always ready to jump at someone if I felt like that. For some reason no one tried to stop me from occasionall bullying. Maybe because I was pretty charming towards everyone.
It all changed when I was 8 years old. I, can't remember why, lifted a boy and tried to run with him. I slipped. He fell with me and hit his head at the wall. He didn't lose consciousness immediatly, but couldn't stand and started to cry. At the moment I didn't feel anything. Maybe only that I messed up, though not because someone was hurt, but because I could get grounded. Grounded I got. Boy was vomitting and laying in bed for several days and that was first time I actually got problems because of my cruelty.
In my country as a kid you can't go to prison unless you commited very horrific crime, but you can get in special category in law system. Let's call it "The List". If you get there you will have big problems with getting in good university, finding a job and etc. It simply means that you commited crime, though not very severe, and now police watches over you. It damages your reputation a lot.
For some reason, I still don't know why for sure, his parents forgave me after 2 days of deciding what to do with me. Those were two messed up days, my mom crying, my dad silent, my siblings absent(can't remember why though) and I realised what was happening and what I could het with that. Maybe I went traumatised, because even after amnesty I never ever again started a fight myself (and always tried to avoid it at all costs) and started to slowly change from extrovert to complete introvert-sociophob.
I was 8 at the moment of "accident" and my peak of loneliness and self-destruction was at 14 years old. No friends, excpet few people I never opened to, no girlfriend (because I was scared of them like they were aliens), complexes(overweight, acne and no geneticly good face) and hatred. Hatred was a problem I underestimated, but I will leave it for now.
At 14 I started to go to the gym. My older brother was picking on me so I went without much enthusiasm, but I trying my best there since it was better than simply losing my time.
Time went by, I had nothing in my life but my PC, school and gym. I was a good student so my marks were good. Gym started to pay off after about a year or something. My social skills were still dead, but I decided that I should learn masks and small talks (I couldn't do it as easy as most).
At 16 I learned about self-improvement. Tried it. Liked it. Decided to dedicate my time for it. Ended up with a lot of hate toward myself since I couldn't beat my laziness, but couldn't just brush it off anymore knowing that I could do more. I did improve though in every aspect of life. It was just not ideal, so I couldn't praise myself for it as I shoud have.
At 16 I thought that I was somewhat ready for a girl and in a bold manner (like an actual autist) asked the most attractive (in my opinion at least) girl in my school. To my surprise se accepted even though my initial goal was simply to beat fear and ask her at all. Date went AWFULY. Every alpha-male would die from cringe if they saw me that evening, but I was happy. I got lots of experience and threw a nice jab at my fears.
Fast forward two years. I am 18, studying in university since my studies paid off. My looks are better than ever. My self-esteem is somewhat adequate. I even got in a relationship and lost my v-card (something I considered impossible) to a 9/10 (on my scale). I broke up with her though, because I was tired of wearing a mask of a perfect caring boyfriend and her illogical and idiotic whims were getting on my nerves. I am a dick for that, but I really tried to be as good as I could. The biggest reason of my breakup was that I couldn't ignore hatred any longer. And that's how we finally get to the main part
Main problem and present:
I feel deep resentment towards human species. I imagine torturing and killing people from 13 years old and I can't simply brush those thoughts off. My mother did good job at programming me, so I have sense of moral. I know this is bad, so I project my thoughts only on "bad guys". I can sit for hours imagining how I would torture and maul pedophiles, children shooters, rapists and others scums. Sometimes when I watch videos with accidents where people get hurt I catch myself smiling. I don't like it since those people are innocent in those videos. I fear it. I am 18 and those thoughts are stronger than ever. My psychologist (which I finally went to) after 4 sessions decided to leave me because my case is "too complex", so she gave me numbers of better specialists. She told me that I do have clear psychopatic tendencies and that I am true narcissist. What should I do? I, don't know how, developed strong sense of justice and moral and my main dream and goal - is finding a true, pure love. I know that I don't want to think this cruel sick way. I know that I want to change, but how?
I decided to actually face this hatred and try to fight it because of anime "Vinland Saga". I want to be at peace, I want to bring peace. I want to be a kinder, better and stronger person. Genuinely good and kind. I even considered suicide to not let even a chance that I hurt somebody, but my family loves me deeply. They don't know of how cruel my thoughts are even towards them, but my death will mentally destroy at least my mother and grandmother. I can't do that. What should I do?
2024.05.13 22:21 rubberducky764348 Is it true that most 5FDP fans beat their girlfriends, wear tapout shirts, start fights in the bar over someone accidentally bumping into them, and talk about how they âalmostâ joined the military?
submitted by rubberducky764348 to FiveFingerDeathPunch [link] [comments]
2024.05.13 22:16 SiriusFiction Happy Ending for 1984 [5HC spoilers]
Again, cautiously I proceed, believing there is a danger in applying anything from one of the novellas in The Fifth Head of Cerberus to one or both of the others. With that caveat out of the way, let me explore the potential provenance of ââA Storyâ by John V. Marschâ in light of the revealed situation in âV.R.T.â
âV.R.T.â gives us a Soviet model of crime and punishment which recasts âA Storyâ as being a work of rehabilitation rather than one of anthropology. I sketch some of this territory in âAppendix VRT8: A Soviet Modelâ (part of Gene Wolfeâs First Four Novels: A Chapter Guide), but I would like to expand it a bit here.
I believe âV.R.T.â is largely patterned on Arthur Koestlerâs Darkness at Noon (1940). Koestler reveals in his novel that with the Soviet system, a court case could not advance to the show trial stage until after the prisoner had signed a false confession that had been crafted entirely by the authorities. This fantastical document of made-up crime is referred to as âThe Grammatical Fiction,â and by definition it is not written by the prisoner, it is written by his jailers, in order to justify his pre-determined fate.
I pause here to note that George Orwellâs Nineteen Eighty-Four (1949) is really a âhappy endingâ version of Darkness at Noon. Be aware that there will be spoilers ahead for both 1984 and Darkness at Noon.
Robert Borski is on record arguing that prisoner 143 wrote âA Storyâ while in prison. I am on record arguing against that, both author and setting, but I will go through a steelman argument of what I think such a thing would look like, using elements I have already published, bending and combining them in service to this new task.
To prepare the way, I will engage in a long-delayed response to Borskiâs âMarschian Sexualityâ (2006), a brief article that detects in the Earth anthropologist Marsch a homosexual nature (The Long and the Short of It, 49). Borski notes that Marschâs journal describes teenage Victor as âhandsome in a rather sensitive way,â and that later entries show Marsch increasingly agitated by the idea that Victor might be sexually engaged with the suspected abo girl, an agitation that rises in intensity to the point Marsch writes about shooting them both if he catches them together. As telling as that is, for Borski, âthe clincher is he reports in his journal that heâs noticed Victor is uncircumcised.â
This is the first I saw such an idea, and I applaud Borski for his textual detective work. I will build upon this, going in a different direction than Borski goes.
If a reader believes there are two distinct personalities in prisoner 143, it makes sense that there be differences to distinguish between the two, differences in voice that will appear in text. Both Marsch and Victor are male; one is in his twenties, the other a teen; one is highly educated, the other is barely educated; both are beardless. Totaling these up, they are practically twins, so a difference in sexual orientation could show which personality is writing a given sentence.
Borski assigns the misogynistic remark about Celestine Etienne to the Victor side (49), whereas I take this as expressing the Marsch persona, along with the other misogynisms, such as âMost medical men . . . [only] prolong the lives of ugly womenâ (5HC, 205).
By my reframing, prisoner 143 is ostensibly a misogynistic homosexual, yet during his extra-harsh time in the tomb-like underground cell he writes about dream women (5HC, 210-11) and a prostitute he hired on Ste. Anne (212). After this he gets positive reinforcement, being moved back to his original cell (231), being given the best food and a bath (231), and being given an intimate visit by Celestine Etienne (232). Then, when he is about to burn his uncollected notes, his jailers confiscate them (233).
This technique employed by the jailers to break him down is not special, it is their standard way, as declared by the letter: âWe are pursuing the usual policy of alternately lenient and severe treatment to produce a breakdownâ (242). Yet the resulting breakdown might actually serve to wean Victor of the Marsch persona; or to exorcise the Marsch spirit, in possession terms; or, in actorâs terms, to relegate the role into a mere mask. If Victorâs mother can shift between multiple roles, it shows the importance of not confusing a mask for the core.
One model I looked at in my chapter guide was that the government fears prisoner 143 is a human sniper disguised as an abo klutz (âAppendix 5HC2: A Wolf in Sheepâs Clothingâ). The opposite to this would be a sheep-in-wolfâs-clothing, which looks like Red Riding Hood in the belly of the wolf.
Returning to the Soviet model of âV.R.T.,â perceptive readers will have been arguing for nine paragraphs that âA Storyâ does not look like a Grammatical Fiction; it looks more like a fictionalization of a personal psychological reintegration, ending in the killing of an ogre and the subduing of a shadow twin. In a sense, this puts âA Storyâ in company with I Never Promised You a Rose Garden (1964), a famous fictionalization of a personal psychological reintegration. As such, consider this mapping of âA Storyâ to Victorâs point of view in âV.R.T.â (similar to the table in the aforementioned âAppendix VRT8â).
=A Story: V.R.T.=
Quest to become a man: expedition starts (find abos/mother)
Become a shadow friend: Marsch as patron (*)
The girlfriend (Seven Girls Waiting): the cat/abo girlfriend
Vision of mother in danger: clue in Roncevaux
Trip by river: starcrosser to Ste. Croix
The trap (capture by marshmen): murder of Number Four
The prison: #143
The family reunion in prison: the incoherent neighbor as mother
The girlfriend in prison: Celestine Etienne
The miracle: (black box**, reality breakthrough)
The execution of Last Voice: (black box, the killing of the ogre)
The switch: (black box, the subduing of the shadow twin)
* for âBecome a shadow friend: Marsch as patronâ I am especially struck by the parallel scenes where the hero, facing a threatening male, weeps and is comforted. In âA Storyâ this is where Sandwalker prepares to fight the intoxicated Shadow Child (5HC, 86); in âV.R.T.â this is where Marsch asks Victor what he will do when he is a man (5HC, 159), and six days later they talk about an anthropology book Victor has read (223). In addition, the way that the Old Wise One of âA Storyâ speaks in scientific jargon forms an unexpected link to Marsch-as-tutor; and Victorâs imitation of Marsch and Hagsmith swells their camp number to four, similar to the fluctuating number of phantom-like Shadow Children.
** by âblack box,â I mean that science and technology term wherein an input goes into a black box and the black box emits a transformed output, but the internal working of the box remains mysterious and opaque. One explicit âblack boxâ in âV.R.T.â involves the murder out in the field: we witness events leading up to that incident, and notes after the incident, but the incident itself remains mysterious and opaque.
Continuing beyond this mapping, the letter from the jailers to the junior officer names two solutions: execution of 143 as an agent of Ste. Anne; release of 143 as a scientist from Earth, âat least until he further incriminates himselfâ (241): in effect, the Darkness at Noon option (execution), or the 1984 option (release for eventual execution). In his response, the junior officer writes that neither is acceptable, and that, âUntil complete cooperation is achieved we direct you to continue to detain the prisonerâ (243). This âcomplete cooperationâ sounds like the prerequisite for âGrammatical Fiction,â but it also could imply an implied third option, a âfork endingâ of the sort promoted by Damon Knight (who, you will recall, grew Gene from a bean), where the third ending is not named but subtly foreshadowed. So, if the end result, the black box output, is the production of âA Storyâ (foreshadowed by appearing in the text before âV.R.T.â), then the implied off-the-page ending of âV.R.T.â is not a list of imaginary crimes to warrant 143âs execution as a sniper agent, but an anthropological romance to allow 143âs release as a scientist from Earth. Yet this is not the simple release of 143 as the 1984 option, it is a third way: to avoid the possibility that he âfurther incriminate himself,â the jailers must actively remake him as a scientist from Earth, if only as a stable role. According to my thought chains on Manchurian Candidates (ibid âAppendix 5HC2â), the government therefore must first determine that prisoner 143 is not, in fact, capable of being a sniper (i.e., an Earthman with proven skill at long range rifle use), but is an abo klutz.
Given that Orwellâs Nineteen Eighty-Four (1949) is a âhappy endingâ version of Koestlerâs Darkness at Noon, I hope I have made clear the likely stages required for an even âhappier endingâ in âA Storyâ as a rehabilitation document for prisoner 143. The âGrammatical Fictionâ has turned into I Never Promised You a Rose Garden; the Soviet-style prison is revealed to be more like a healing mental health hospital, if only for this one exceptional case where the government finds itself in a bind.
submitted by SiriusFiction to genewolfe [link] [comments]
âV.R.T.â gives us a Soviet model of crime and punishment which recasts âA Storyâ as being a work of rehabilitation rather than one of anthropology. I sketch some of this territory in âAppendix VRT8: A Soviet Modelâ (part of Gene Wolfeâs First Four Novels: A Chapter Guide), but I would like to expand it a bit here.
I believe âV.R.T.â is largely patterned on Arthur Koestlerâs Darkness at Noon (1940). Koestler reveals in his novel that with the Soviet system, a court case could not advance to the show trial stage until after the prisoner had signed a false confession that had been crafted entirely by the authorities. This fantastical document of made-up crime is referred to as âThe Grammatical Fiction,â and by definition it is not written by the prisoner, it is written by his jailers, in order to justify his pre-determined fate.
I pause here to note that George Orwellâs Nineteen Eighty-Four (1949) is really a âhappy endingâ version of Darkness at Noon. Be aware that there will be spoilers ahead for both 1984 and Darkness at Noon.
Robert Borski is on record arguing that prisoner 143 wrote âA Storyâ while in prison. I am on record arguing against that, both author and setting, but I will go through a steelman argument of what I think such a thing would look like, using elements I have already published, bending and combining them in service to this new task.
To prepare the way, I will engage in a long-delayed response to Borskiâs âMarschian Sexualityâ (2006), a brief article that detects in the Earth anthropologist Marsch a homosexual nature (The Long and the Short of It, 49). Borski notes that Marschâs journal describes teenage Victor as âhandsome in a rather sensitive way,â and that later entries show Marsch increasingly agitated by the idea that Victor might be sexually engaged with the suspected abo girl, an agitation that rises in intensity to the point Marsch writes about shooting them both if he catches them together. As telling as that is, for Borski, âthe clincher is he reports in his journal that heâs noticed Victor is uncircumcised.â
This is the first I saw such an idea, and I applaud Borski for his textual detective work. I will build upon this, going in a different direction than Borski goes.
If a reader believes there are two distinct personalities in prisoner 143, it makes sense that there be differences to distinguish between the two, differences in voice that will appear in text. Both Marsch and Victor are male; one is in his twenties, the other a teen; one is highly educated, the other is barely educated; both are beardless. Totaling these up, they are practically twins, so a difference in sexual orientation could show which personality is writing a given sentence.
Borski assigns the misogynistic remark about Celestine Etienne to the Victor side (49), whereas I take this as expressing the Marsch persona, along with the other misogynisms, such as âMost medical men . . . [only] prolong the lives of ugly womenâ (5HC, 205).
By my reframing, prisoner 143 is ostensibly a misogynistic homosexual, yet during his extra-harsh time in the tomb-like underground cell he writes about dream women (5HC, 210-11) and a prostitute he hired on Ste. Anne (212). After this he gets positive reinforcement, being moved back to his original cell (231), being given the best food and a bath (231), and being given an intimate visit by Celestine Etienne (232). Then, when he is about to burn his uncollected notes, his jailers confiscate them (233).
This technique employed by the jailers to break him down is not special, it is their standard way, as declared by the letter: âWe are pursuing the usual policy of alternately lenient and severe treatment to produce a breakdownâ (242). Yet the resulting breakdown might actually serve to wean Victor of the Marsch persona; or to exorcise the Marsch spirit, in possession terms; or, in actorâs terms, to relegate the role into a mere mask. If Victorâs mother can shift between multiple roles, it shows the importance of not confusing a mask for the core.
One model I looked at in my chapter guide was that the government fears prisoner 143 is a human sniper disguised as an abo klutz (âAppendix 5HC2: A Wolf in Sheepâs Clothingâ). The opposite to this would be a sheep-in-wolfâs-clothing, which looks like Red Riding Hood in the belly of the wolf.
Returning to the Soviet model of âV.R.T.,â perceptive readers will have been arguing for nine paragraphs that âA Storyâ does not look like a Grammatical Fiction; it looks more like a fictionalization of a personal psychological reintegration, ending in the killing of an ogre and the subduing of a shadow twin. In a sense, this puts âA Storyâ in company with I Never Promised You a Rose Garden (1964), a famous fictionalization of a personal psychological reintegration. As such, consider this mapping of âA Storyâ to Victorâs point of view in âV.R.T.â (similar to the table in the aforementioned âAppendix VRT8â).
=A Story: V.R.T.=
Quest to become a man: expedition starts (find abos/mother)
Become a shadow friend: Marsch as patron (*)
The girlfriend (Seven Girls Waiting): the cat/abo girlfriend
Vision of mother in danger: clue in Roncevaux
Trip by river: starcrosser to Ste. Croix
The trap (capture by marshmen): murder of Number Four
The prison: #143
The family reunion in prison: the incoherent neighbor as mother
The girlfriend in prison: Celestine Etienne
The miracle: (black box**, reality breakthrough)
The execution of Last Voice: (black box, the killing of the ogre)
The switch: (black box, the subduing of the shadow twin)
* for âBecome a shadow friend: Marsch as patronâ I am especially struck by the parallel scenes where the hero, facing a threatening male, weeps and is comforted. In âA Storyâ this is where Sandwalker prepares to fight the intoxicated Shadow Child (5HC, 86); in âV.R.T.â this is where Marsch asks Victor what he will do when he is a man (5HC, 159), and six days later they talk about an anthropology book Victor has read (223). In addition, the way that the Old Wise One of âA Storyâ speaks in scientific jargon forms an unexpected link to Marsch-as-tutor; and Victorâs imitation of Marsch and Hagsmith swells their camp number to four, similar to the fluctuating number of phantom-like Shadow Children.
** by âblack box,â I mean that science and technology term wherein an input goes into a black box and the black box emits a transformed output, but the internal working of the box remains mysterious and opaque. One explicit âblack boxâ in âV.R.T.â involves the murder out in the field: we witness events leading up to that incident, and notes after the incident, but the incident itself remains mysterious and opaque.
Continuing beyond this mapping, the letter from the jailers to the junior officer names two solutions: execution of 143 as an agent of Ste. Anne; release of 143 as a scientist from Earth, âat least until he further incriminates himselfâ (241): in effect, the Darkness at Noon option (execution), or the 1984 option (release for eventual execution). In his response, the junior officer writes that neither is acceptable, and that, âUntil complete cooperation is achieved we direct you to continue to detain the prisonerâ (243). This âcomplete cooperationâ sounds like the prerequisite for âGrammatical Fiction,â but it also could imply an implied third option, a âfork endingâ of the sort promoted by Damon Knight (who, you will recall, grew Gene from a bean), where the third ending is not named but subtly foreshadowed. So, if the end result, the black box output, is the production of âA Storyâ (foreshadowed by appearing in the text before âV.R.T.â), then the implied off-the-page ending of âV.R.T.â is not a list of imaginary crimes to warrant 143âs execution as a sniper agent, but an anthropological romance to allow 143âs release as a scientist from Earth. Yet this is not the simple release of 143 as the 1984 option, it is a third way: to avoid the possibility that he âfurther incriminate himself,â the jailers must actively remake him as a scientist from Earth, if only as a stable role. According to my thought chains on Manchurian Candidates (ibid âAppendix 5HC2â), the government therefore must first determine that prisoner 143 is not, in fact, capable of being a sniper (i.e., an Earthman with proven skill at long range rifle use), but is an abo klutz.
Given that Orwellâs Nineteen Eighty-Four (1949) is a âhappy endingâ version of Koestlerâs Darkness at Noon, I hope I have made clear the likely stages required for an even âhappier endingâ in âA Storyâ as a rehabilitation document for prisoner 143. The âGrammatical Fictionâ has turned into I Never Promised You a Rose Garden; the Soviet-style prison is revealed to be more like a healing mental health hospital, if only for this one exceptional case where the government finds itself in a bind.
2024.05.13 22:12 ResilientThrowaway01 Getting a long-term relationship break-up off my chest (I am the dumper) + some motivation
Hello everyone, I've been dealing with a break up that shook up everything about myself for the past 7 months. I just want to write this as a reflective piece. This was a 3 and a half year long relationship.
So I was dating a woman that I met in college (she was slightly older than me so she already had graduated), and the first few months felt like heaven. I never really had a relationship before where I felt so compelled, so in love with someone. And she really was a sweetheart, she did so many nice gestures, date ideas for us, and I was completely in sync and returned the favor as well. But then COVID hit and we went to remote learning/working from home. And this is honestly where our relationship's issues started to come into play, and not because of us (initially). Without revealing anything personal, my ex worked an incredibly abusive and demanding job that would have her often working until midnight or later, every single day. And this went on for years. The issue with this, on top of her trying to study, was that everything in our relationship had to either be cut off or revolve around her job. The thing is though, is that I learned over time (especially once I started my career and worked for a bit), was that she was under no obligation to actually work these insane hours with no overtime. She was just letting her job take advantage of her and essentially bully/pressure her into doing far more work than she needed to. While short-term this was not a huge issue to me, this was also actively eating into her own personal goals and achievements, and was taking a toll on her health as well.
I tried everything in the most polite way possible to convince her to look elsewhere, think of other opportunities (never told her to just outright quit as thats not my place), but she seemed to always dig her heels in and try to complain internally at her job, which literally never worked. It always led to bigger issues down the line. And eventually, it started to genuinely annoy me that our relationship was basically stalling and we were only seeing each other once a week or once every two weeks. I still genuinely loved her (and she really loved me) though, and tried my hardest to support her through it. By comparison, with my first job (which was in an extremely similar field), I was only working 40 hours a week, maybe 50 tops. But it was starting to get extremely worrisome that even by the 2 and a half year mark, I couldn't even get her to come on a vacation without her abruptly having to leave.
I want to make it clear though that despite all these issues, we were always incredibly understanding and honest to each other, and that if I had not made the decision I made, she never would have broken up with me, and probably would have been an incredibly loyal wife. However, after another year of feeling like she was really being more loyal to a shitty job than to me (and some other issues as well, without getting too into it I wasn't really able to bring myself to care about her interests anymore out of frustration, her problems that stemmed from never wanted to confront them was getting to me where I just didn't have it in me anymore, and her friends were pretty much actively shittalking me behind my back despite being significantly more supportive to her than any of her friends were, who basically used her constantly), I decided that I was going to end things with her. I did everything about the break-up correctly and respectfully, I went to her place, said that it wasn't fair for her to date someone that just didn't have it in them anymore, and I left. And that was the last I ever spoke to her.
Ever since I broke up with her, I've been hard blocked, no-contact style on everything by her. And for a long time (and even recently), it sucked hard. Someone that I spent so much time with, someone that I put so much love into, so many deep conversations that left me so happy, to see her just sort of treat me like I don't exist hurt like a motherfucker. I know it was definitely harder for her initially, as I dumped her, the guilt of hurting someone as sweet, smart, and as kind as she was absolutely ruined me. I'm ashamed to admit it, but multiple times I tried to contact her, just to talk, but every time it was met with deafening silence. Nothing.
To make matters worse, within a week of our breakup, I was laid off as well at my job.
But this is where things take a turn.
I was never a fit guy, but from starting a career at a sedentary job and feeling set in life with a beautiful girlfriend, I put on some serious pounds, I went from a little pudgy to straight up fat. I was starting to develop awful acid reflux + I have a nasty double chin when I'm fat, and with my job and my love life gone, I realized that for the first time in my life, I'm going to fight for myself, to be proud of how I look and feel. And thats exactly what I did. I took all of that sorrow, all of that guilt, and I took it to the gym, and I interviewed my ass off with some companies.
Flash forward to seven months later (now), I'm in the best shape I've ever been in my life (sub-20% bodyfat and looking to cut even more), all of my stomach issues disappeared from being active, and now I work at a job far better (and more stable) than my last one. As someone who never seemed to attract women, I'm actually starting to have great conversations and meet new people (although I don't know if I'm ready to start dating again) who genuinely seem interested in me. I feel great, and I feel motivated. I knew it wasn't going to be easy being alone, but I believe I'm doing the right thing. I think anyone going through something like this needs to hear this; don't give up. You put the work into yourself and it'll all come together. Its never too late.
And typing this post was very therapeutic, felt like getting a massive weight off my chest. I still feel the pain of loneliness and missing my ex's compassion and companionship sometimes, but I don't truly regret my decision. I really wish we worked out, but ultimately her inability to confront her problems was her own worst enemy. I'm the exact opposite, I confront my problems head on. I just hope that one day I find someone perfect for me.
Thanks for reading.
submitted by ResilientThrowaway01 to BreakUps [link] [comments]
So I was dating a woman that I met in college (she was slightly older than me so she already had graduated), and the first few months felt like heaven. I never really had a relationship before where I felt so compelled, so in love with someone. And she really was a sweetheart, she did so many nice gestures, date ideas for us, and I was completely in sync and returned the favor as well. But then COVID hit and we went to remote learning/working from home. And this is honestly where our relationship's issues started to come into play, and not because of us (initially). Without revealing anything personal, my ex worked an incredibly abusive and demanding job that would have her often working until midnight or later, every single day. And this went on for years. The issue with this, on top of her trying to study, was that everything in our relationship had to either be cut off or revolve around her job. The thing is though, is that I learned over time (especially once I started my career and worked for a bit), was that she was under no obligation to actually work these insane hours with no overtime. She was just letting her job take advantage of her and essentially bully/pressure her into doing far more work than she needed to. While short-term this was not a huge issue to me, this was also actively eating into her own personal goals and achievements, and was taking a toll on her health as well.
I tried everything in the most polite way possible to convince her to look elsewhere, think of other opportunities (never told her to just outright quit as thats not my place), but she seemed to always dig her heels in and try to complain internally at her job, which literally never worked. It always led to bigger issues down the line. And eventually, it started to genuinely annoy me that our relationship was basically stalling and we were only seeing each other once a week or once every two weeks. I still genuinely loved her (and she really loved me) though, and tried my hardest to support her through it. By comparison, with my first job (which was in an extremely similar field), I was only working 40 hours a week, maybe 50 tops. But it was starting to get extremely worrisome that even by the 2 and a half year mark, I couldn't even get her to come on a vacation without her abruptly having to leave.
I want to make it clear though that despite all these issues, we were always incredibly understanding and honest to each other, and that if I had not made the decision I made, she never would have broken up with me, and probably would have been an incredibly loyal wife. However, after another year of feeling like she was really being more loyal to a shitty job than to me (and some other issues as well, without getting too into it I wasn't really able to bring myself to care about her interests anymore out of frustration, her problems that stemmed from never wanted to confront them was getting to me where I just didn't have it in me anymore, and her friends were pretty much actively shittalking me behind my back despite being significantly more supportive to her than any of her friends were, who basically used her constantly), I decided that I was going to end things with her. I did everything about the break-up correctly and respectfully, I went to her place, said that it wasn't fair for her to date someone that just didn't have it in them anymore, and I left. And that was the last I ever spoke to her.
Ever since I broke up with her, I've been hard blocked, no-contact style on everything by her. And for a long time (and even recently), it sucked hard. Someone that I spent so much time with, someone that I put so much love into, so many deep conversations that left me so happy, to see her just sort of treat me like I don't exist hurt like a motherfucker. I know it was definitely harder for her initially, as I dumped her, the guilt of hurting someone as sweet, smart, and as kind as she was absolutely ruined me. I'm ashamed to admit it, but multiple times I tried to contact her, just to talk, but every time it was met with deafening silence. Nothing.
To make matters worse, within a week of our breakup, I was laid off as well at my job.
But this is where things take a turn.
I was never a fit guy, but from starting a career at a sedentary job and feeling set in life with a beautiful girlfriend, I put on some serious pounds, I went from a little pudgy to straight up fat. I was starting to develop awful acid reflux + I have a nasty double chin when I'm fat, and with my job and my love life gone, I realized that for the first time in my life, I'm going to fight for myself, to be proud of how I look and feel. And thats exactly what I did. I took all of that sorrow, all of that guilt, and I took it to the gym, and I interviewed my ass off with some companies.
Flash forward to seven months later (now), I'm in the best shape I've ever been in my life (sub-20% bodyfat and looking to cut even more), all of my stomach issues disappeared from being active, and now I work at a job far better (and more stable) than my last one. As someone who never seemed to attract women, I'm actually starting to have great conversations and meet new people (although I don't know if I'm ready to start dating again) who genuinely seem interested in me. I feel great, and I feel motivated. I knew it wasn't going to be easy being alone, but I believe I'm doing the right thing. I think anyone going through something like this needs to hear this; don't give up. You put the work into yourself and it'll all come together. Its never too late.
And typing this post was very therapeutic, felt like getting a massive weight off my chest. I still feel the pain of loneliness and missing my ex's compassion and companionship sometimes, but I don't truly regret my decision. I really wish we worked out, but ultimately her inability to confront her problems was her own worst enemy. I'm the exact opposite, I confront my problems head on. I just hope that one day I find someone perfect for me.
Thanks for reading.
2024.05.13 22:11 EntrepreneurAny221 I told a girl I donât see a future with her but I still want to be with her
Iâve been seeing this girl for eight years. We only get together to have sex multiple times a week. If I dated others girls sheâd get jealous so I hid it from her.
Recently we got into a fight because she was mad that after almost a decade she has never met my mom. She said all her friends are getting married. I said âyou told other girls I was dating I was cheating on them and told everyone in my life including my friends. If I was with you, theyâd all think I was psycho and cut me outâ. She said âyou choose to string me along and cheat. I didnât know you were dating them and reacted in anger when I found out. I think most people would understand my reactionâ. I told her no because all my friends would think I was stupid for being with her. She said if you cared about me, youâd fight for me or wouldnât care what your friends thought because you cared for me. She said she would ruin all her relationships for me.
I told her I donât see a future with her. I said this is all it will ever be because of her actions. The only thing we will have is sex in my car. She said I donât get why you date anyone else but me, itâs been almost a decade, you obviously like me and Iâm your most successful relationship. I told her I would have dated her but her jealousy turns me off. That I can only have sex with her in my car to control her reactions. I said this is it.
She slammed the door crying and sent me TONS of emotional messages.
I still want to see her. I told her Iâm not seeing anyone else but we can just do our thing in private and we can be together. She said âuntil you get the next girlfriend who is good enough for publicâ. I said no I wonât do that again. She said what girl honestly would want this for themselves. She said she put me above her for too long. She told me I put every girl above her when she stood by me. I said she was living in the past. She was like the past is all I have to go by if thereâs no future.
I feel like my reputation would be ruined being with her.
How do I go about this? Was I an asshole?
submitted by EntrepreneurAny221 to relationships_advice [link] [comments]
Recently we got into a fight because she was mad that after almost a decade she has never met my mom. She said all her friends are getting married. I said âyou told other girls I was dating I was cheating on them and told everyone in my life including my friends. If I was with you, theyâd all think I was psycho and cut me outâ. She said âyou choose to string me along and cheat. I didnât know you were dating them and reacted in anger when I found out. I think most people would understand my reactionâ. I told her no because all my friends would think I was stupid for being with her. She said if you cared about me, youâd fight for me or wouldnât care what your friends thought because you cared for me. She said she would ruin all her relationships for me.
I told her I donât see a future with her. I said this is all it will ever be because of her actions. The only thing we will have is sex in my car. She said I donât get why you date anyone else but me, itâs been almost a decade, you obviously like me and Iâm your most successful relationship. I told her I would have dated her but her jealousy turns me off. That I can only have sex with her in my car to control her reactions. I said this is it.
She slammed the door crying and sent me TONS of emotional messages.
I still want to see her. I told her Iâm not seeing anyone else but we can just do our thing in private and we can be together. She said âuntil you get the next girlfriend who is good enough for publicâ. I said no I wonât do that again. She said what girl honestly would want this for themselves. She said she put me above her for too long. She told me I put every girl above her when she stood by me. I said she was living in the past. She was like the past is all I have to go by if thereâs no future.
I feel like my reputation would be ruined being with her.
How do I go about this? Was I an asshole?
2024.05.13 22:09 bucketofcherryberrie AITA for having been the âOther Womanâ
Okay, so I know how that sounds. But itâs a lot more complicated than just being âthe other womanâ⊠This happened a few years ago, but still affects my life to this day. And get some popcorn, because itâs a long one.
So backstory, at the time - I, F 18/19 had just graduated high-school and gotten my first âadult jobâ serving at a popular chain restaurant. This was when COVID mandates were still in place, so instead of the traditional college route, I opted for online Community College while living with my parents and siblings.
Shortly after starting this job we got a new manager, M 25/26. He was from pretty far out of town, and his placement at our location was quite a commute for him, about 45 minutes to an hour one way.
He and I were immediately close, and always got along. I admired his hard work and I wanted to learn everything I could from him. Iâll admit, I had a little crush but it was whatever, I was focused on other things like school and trying to move up in the company. He took me under his wing as what he would call his âpersonal projectâ. He said he saw potential in me and wanted to train me to be a manager. Because of his help and training, I was able to move up in the company and made great progress.
After we had gotten to know each other more from working with each-other and the mentorship, I found out he shared a daughter with who he would refer to as âBaby Mamaâ.
I asked him many times about her and he said they were 100% not together. He also multiple times on multiple occasionâs would say things like âoh yeah, itâs my night with my daughterâ or âitâs my turn to have herâ - so I assumed they werenât even living together. And boy does it go down hill from hereâŠ
We began to see each other outside of work. Obviously, this is against many companies policies - and for good reason too. So I kept it secret. I didnât want him to lose his job and I wanted to build a career, I didnât want to jeopardize any of that. And at this point in the relationship I feel itâs necessary to point out for context that I was a virgin and had never done anything like that before.
A very short while into our relationship he told me he didnât want to keep secrets from me if this was going to work, and told me that his Baby Mama was expecting again. I asked AGAIN if they were in a relationship and he told me that it was just a âheat of the moment hook upâ before we had gotten together and that it was rare - but that it did happen sometimes when they were both single and looking for âconvenienceâ.
Looking back Iâm kicking myself for ever believing that shit.
So what do I do? I decide to look on social media for some guidance. I found both his AND his Baby Mamaâs Facebook and Instagram pages⊠and for at least a year, there was NO evidence to be found of them in a relationship. No loving dating posts, no Mothers/Fatherâs Day posts, no birthday posts, no anniversary posts, and no status on anything that would indicate they were currently together. Both of their information on Facebook didnât mention each other at all. No âIn a relationship with _â on either of the Facebook pages. And scrolling way back on the Baby Mamaâs Page, I could see that years ago when they WERE together, those classic couple posts were frequent. So, I took those clues and decided that he was telling the truth. BIG mistake.
So, as evident by the title here, we end up engaging in a relationship. After a few months, after many long discussions about how I wanted âmy firstâ to be with someone who loved me, our relationship became sexual. I kept it a secret, not for fear that I was the âother womanâ, but because until I got the promotion of manager myself, he could lose his job. And I could lose what I was working hard to build.
He gave me no reason to think we were hiding our relationship because he was in another one⊠until much later down the line when it felt like too late.
This man was very emotionally abusive. And while he never put a hand on me, he often slammed doors, punched walls, screamed. Obviously, it never started that way but it was bad. Bad enough that he actually was later on forced to move locations because the General Manager did not want him in her location any longer.
We continued the relationship after he moved locations. And he was now working at the location it looked like I would be doing my Manager Training at. I had to wait until I was 21 to get the big promotion, but I had already put in a lot of leeway learning with other managers as well. I was dedicated, not only to the job, but to him as well, even with the mental and emotional abuse plus the fear of the possible physical abuse.
Things drastically changed when I noticed him being inconsistent. Since he was at a new location, I felt a little more confident in our relationship. Atleast in the fact that we could be âfriendsâ outside of work without a lot of pushback. Now that he wasnât directly my boss, it might still be an odd gray area, but he technically couldnât be fired. And after pushing HARD and being confused as to why he was being weird about itâŠhe told me he was, in fact, still dating his Baby Mama.
Obviously, I was devastated and disgusted. And I fully aknowledge I should have left him right then and there. But to be honest? I was scared. I felt confused by his actions and his words not lining up⊠and at 19, I was so easily fooled by him saying he loved me. Things like âI want to marry youâ and âIâm going to do everything I can to make this work.â His biggest one was that he loved his kids so much he was terrified of what would happen if he left. Iâll admit I was also scared. This man terrified me with his aggression at times, but for some reason I was still in love.
A few weeks after that I found out I was pregnant. And I was terrified. When I told him he was immediately fuming and aggressive. He told me it was all my fault and I wanted to ruin his life. Not only that but what would happen to his career? My budding one I was working so hard towards? What would everyone say? A teen mistress pregnant by her boss? He threw all of these questions at me faster than I could think.
I begged to just give me time to think. That I loved this little one growing inside of me. But he told me I had better just get rid of it.
I was so afraid that I remember that I gave my sister my location and told her that if I wasnât back by a certain time, it was because he had killed me.
With much pressure from him, I went through with a termination I did not want.
I stayed for three months afterwards. The trauma bond was painful. And with it being so secretive, I felt I had no one else to turn to mourn. No one during the most painful event of my life. And through it all, a weird fucked up part of me still loved him. So, as much as I hate admitting it⊠I stayed.
It took 3 months to gather my courage, break that trauma bond and leave. (Partially due to a good friend - who is now my long time boyfriend and soon to be fiance.)
It took a few months after that AND me leaving the company to talk to the BabyMama. She admitted to me that heâs done this multiple times before, has gotten another woman pregnant before her, and that heâs never really been faithful. She stayed with him and continued to have more children with him. Itâs been 2 years since Iâve told her. During that time Iâve gotten many texts, drunk calls, and an odd mix of hateful messages and then apologies following them. I even had an exchange with her sister (who works at the same company) saying she herself went through a similar situation to mine of being a mistress but that âI was just jealous of BabyMama because at the end of the day her sister wonâ or something like that.
I guess after kid #3 she just recently left him, friended me on all social media and has wanted to talk more frequently, and she even asked for advice on leaving him. Even now, I still get odd texts here and there, a call from her when sheâs drunk, etc.
I definitely am not innocent in this. I too have said things I regret, and obviously done things I regret as well. Iâve started to recently speak up on my experience to deal with some of the trauma instead of just keeping it buried. Some people say Iâm just another victim of him and others insist Iâm just a straight up awful person, especially because I didnât âfight hard enoughâ to keep my baby and if I actually wanted to go through with the pregnancy I just should have.
I wanted to ask here because itâs easier to get a truthful answer sometimes from strangers who have no personal connection to the people being discussed. And this has consumed my life for close to 3 years now⊠so yeah. AITA?
submitted by bucketofcherryberrie to TwoHotTakes [link] [comments]
So backstory, at the time - I, F 18/19 had just graduated high-school and gotten my first âadult jobâ serving at a popular chain restaurant. This was when COVID mandates were still in place, so instead of the traditional college route, I opted for online Community College while living with my parents and siblings.
Shortly after starting this job we got a new manager, M 25/26. He was from pretty far out of town, and his placement at our location was quite a commute for him, about 45 minutes to an hour one way.
He and I were immediately close, and always got along. I admired his hard work and I wanted to learn everything I could from him. Iâll admit, I had a little crush but it was whatever, I was focused on other things like school and trying to move up in the company. He took me under his wing as what he would call his âpersonal projectâ. He said he saw potential in me and wanted to train me to be a manager. Because of his help and training, I was able to move up in the company and made great progress.
After we had gotten to know each other more from working with each-other and the mentorship, I found out he shared a daughter with who he would refer to as âBaby Mamaâ.
I asked him many times about her and he said they were 100% not together. He also multiple times on multiple occasionâs would say things like âoh yeah, itâs my night with my daughterâ or âitâs my turn to have herâ - so I assumed they werenât even living together. And boy does it go down hill from hereâŠ
We began to see each other outside of work. Obviously, this is against many companies policies - and for good reason too. So I kept it secret. I didnât want him to lose his job and I wanted to build a career, I didnât want to jeopardize any of that. And at this point in the relationship I feel itâs necessary to point out for context that I was a virgin and had never done anything like that before.
A very short while into our relationship he told me he didnât want to keep secrets from me if this was going to work, and told me that his Baby Mama was expecting again. I asked AGAIN if they were in a relationship and he told me that it was just a âheat of the moment hook upâ before we had gotten together and that it was rare - but that it did happen sometimes when they were both single and looking for âconvenienceâ.
Looking back Iâm kicking myself for ever believing that shit.
So what do I do? I decide to look on social media for some guidance. I found both his AND his Baby Mamaâs Facebook and Instagram pages⊠and for at least a year, there was NO evidence to be found of them in a relationship. No loving dating posts, no Mothers/Fatherâs Day posts, no birthday posts, no anniversary posts, and no status on anything that would indicate they were currently together. Both of their information on Facebook didnât mention each other at all. No âIn a relationship with _â on either of the Facebook pages. And scrolling way back on the Baby Mamaâs Page, I could see that years ago when they WERE together, those classic couple posts were frequent. So, I took those clues and decided that he was telling the truth. BIG mistake.
So, as evident by the title here, we end up engaging in a relationship. After a few months, after many long discussions about how I wanted âmy firstâ to be with someone who loved me, our relationship became sexual. I kept it a secret, not for fear that I was the âother womanâ, but because until I got the promotion of manager myself, he could lose his job. And I could lose what I was working hard to build.
He gave me no reason to think we were hiding our relationship because he was in another one⊠until much later down the line when it felt like too late.
This man was very emotionally abusive. And while he never put a hand on me, he often slammed doors, punched walls, screamed. Obviously, it never started that way but it was bad. Bad enough that he actually was later on forced to move locations because the General Manager did not want him in her location any longer.
We continued the relationship after he moved locations. And he was now working at the location it looked like I would be doing my Manager Training at. I had to wait until I was 21 to get the big promotion, but I had already put in a lot of leeway learning with other managers as well. I was dedicated, not only to the job, but to him as well, even with the mental and emotional abuse plus the fear of the possible physical abuse.
Things drastically changed when I noticed him being inconsistent. Since he was at a new location, I felt a little more confident in our relationship. Atleast in the fact that we could be âfriendsâ outside of work without a lot of pushback. Now that he wasnât directly my boss, it might still be an odd gray area, but he technically couldnât be fired. And after pushing HARD and being confused as to why he was being weird about itâŠhe told me he was, in fact, still dating his Baby Mama.
Obviously, I was devastated and disgusted. And I fully aknowledge I should have left him right then and there. But to be honest? I was scared. I felt confused by his actions and his words not lining up⊠and at 19, I was so easily fooled by him saying he loved me. Things like âI want to marry youâ and âIâm going to do everything I can to make this work.â His biggest one was that he loved his kids so much he was terrified of what would happen if he left. Iâll admit I was also scared. This man terrified me with his aggression at times, but for some reason I was still in love.
A few weeks after that I found out I was pregnant. And I was terrified. When I told him he was immediately fuming and aggressive. He told me it was all my fault and I wanted to ruin his life. Not only that but what would happen to his career? My budding one I was working so hard towards? What would everyone say? A teen mistress pregnant by her boss? He threw all of these questions at me faster than I could think.
I begged to just give me time to think. That I loved this little one growing inside of me. But he told me I had better just get rid of it.
I was so afraid that I remember that I gave my sister my location and told her that if I wasnât back by a certain time, it was because he had killed me.
With much pressure from him, I went through with a termination I did not want.
I stayed for three months afterwards. The trauma bond was painful. And with it being so secretive, I felt I had no one else to turn to mourn. No one during the most painful event of my life. And through it all, a weird fucked up part of me still loved him. So, as much as I hate admitting it⊠I stayed.
It took 3 months to gather my courage, break that trauma bond and leave. (Partially due to a good friend - who is now my long time boyfriend and soon to be fiance.)
It took a few months after that AND me leaving the company to talk to the BabyMama. She admitted to me that heâs done this multiple times before, has gotten another woman pregnant before her, and that heâs never really been faithful. She stayed with him and continued to have more children with him. Itâs been 2 years since Iâve told her. During that time Iâve gotten many texts, drunk calls, and an odd mix of hateful messages and then apologies following them. I even had an exchange with her sister (who works at the same company) saying she herself went through a similar situation to mine of being a mistress but that âI was just jealous of BabyMama because at the end of the day her sister wonâ or something like that.
I guess after kid #3 she just recently left him, friended me on all social media and has wanted to talk more frequently, and she even asked for advice on leaving him. Even now, I still get odd texts here and there, a call from her when sheâs drunk, etc.
I definitely am not innocent in this. I too have said things I regret, and obviously done things I regret as well. Iâve started to recently speak up on my experience to deal with some of the trauma instead of just keeping it buried. Some people say Iâm just another victim of him and others insist Iâm just a straight up awful person, especially because I didnât âfight hard enoughâ to keep my baby and if I actually wanted to go through with the pregnancy I just should have.
I wanted to ask here because itâs easier to get a truthful answer sometimes from strangers who have no personal connection to the people being discussed. And this has consumed my life for close to 3 years now⊠so yeah. AITA?
2024.05.13 22:09 Plus_Engineering5293 ex gf keeps texting me but also says she needs time for herself
So my ex girlfriend broke up with me about 5 months ago. basically right after new years, the reason behind the break up was her depression. We were together for only roughly 3 months but we were really good friends about 1.5 - 2 years prior. After I asked her out we were really happy and then she suddenly fell into a pit and we ended up breaking up. We ended it on good Terms of course and stayed friends.
(to mention is that she is taking antidepressants now and is definitely doing better than before)
For a few months now we text or call on a daily base and she always tells me about her day and sends me cute outfit selfies when she goes to a concert or stuff like that. I recently asked her about our current situation and that it is for BOTH of us very unclear and complicated and that I would like to talk with her about it. She told me that she needs to be happy and needs time to focus on her own first before we try or not try again.
I dont really know how I should feel about this because I kinda feel fooled or something like that. ( i dont know any other word since im not native english lol) when we meet with friends we are always sitting or laying besides each other and almost cuddling together.
I really want to be with her again but I also have the feeling that she will definitely find someone else in this time and that she just wants to stay friends with me then. But I dont think that I could handle that. I know i should or need to accept it if its happening but I dont know.
she threats me like her boyfriend but at the same time she tells me she needs time to focus on her self.
submitted by Plus_Engineering5293 to BreakUps [link] [comments]
(to mention is that she is taking antidepressants now and is definitely doing better than before)
For a few months now we text or call on a daily base and she always tells me about her day and sends me cute outfit selfies when she goes to a concert or stuff like that. I recently asked her about our current situation and that it is for BOTH of us very unclear and complicated and that I would like to talk with her about it. She told me that she needs to be happy and needs time to focus on her own first before we try or not try again.
I dont really know how I should feel about this because I kinda feel fooled or something like that. ( i dont know any other word since im not native english lol) when we meet with friends we are always sitting or laying besides each other and almost cuddling together.
I really want to be with her again but I also have the feeling that she will definitely find someone else in this time and that she just wants to stay friends with me then. But I dont think that I could handle that. I know i should or need to accept it if its happening but I dont know.
she threats me like her boyfriend but at the same time she tells me she needs time to focus on her self.
2024.05.13 22:08 McDonaldsWi-Fi I've noticed that Christianity and Stoicism have a lot in common.
The stoics speak of Nature a lot, here is one such quote:
âLet us keep to the way which Nature has mapped out for us, and let us not swerve therefrom. If we follow Nature, all is easy and unobstructed; but if we combat Nature, our life differs not a whit from that of men who row against the current.â
-- Seneca
Replace "Nature" with "God" and you have pretty much the same meaning. In Christianity you hear this a lot, God (Nature) has a path for you, and you fight that path then God (Nature) will test you until you get back on the right track.
The same goes for the Dichotomy of Control.
Epictetus wrote: âSome things are within our power, while others are not. Within our power are opinion, motivation, desire, aversion, and, in a word, whatever is of our own doing; not within our power are our body, our property, reputation, office, and, in a word, whatever is not of our own doing.â
If you think about the Dichotomy of Control from a Christian perspective it is the same idea. Control what you can, and give the rest to God and stop worrying about it. Focus on what you can control.
Christianity also talks about the dangers of overindulgence and the importance of being humble and grateful for what you have.
I was at church last Sunday and this clicked and I thought it was interesting. I hope this doesn't spark some kind of flame war or something. I just find this interesting. It is almost like there is a Grand Truth woven into reality describing the path to being a good and just person and both of these philosophies are ultimately heading in the same direction.
What are yall's thoughts?
EDIT: I should have searched the subreddit before posting lol
submitted by McDonaldsWi-Fi to Stoicism [link] [comments]
âLet us keep to the way which Nature has mapped out for us, and let us not swerve therefrom. If we follow Nature, all is easy and unobstructed; but if we combat Nature, our life differs not a whit from that of men who row against the current.â
-- Seneca
Replace "Nature" with "God" and you have pretty much the same meaning. In Christianity you hear this a lot, God (Nature) has a path for you, and you fight that path then God (Nature) will test you until you get back on the right track.
The same goes for the Dichotomy of Control.
Epictetus wrote: âSome things are within our power, while others are not. Within our power are opinion, motivation, desire, aversion, and, in a word, whatever is of our own doing; not within our power are our body, our property, reputation, office, and, in a word, whatever is not of our own doing.â
If you think about the Dichotomy of Control from a Christian perspective it is the same idea. Control what you can, and give the rest to God and stop worrying about it. Focus on what you can control.
Christianity also talks about the dangers of overindulgence and the importance of being humble and grateful for what you have.
I was at church last Sunday and this clicked and I thought it was interesting. I hope this doesn't spark some kind of flame war or something. I just find this interesting. It is almost like there is a Grand Truth woven into reality describing the path to being a good and just person and both of these philosophies are ultimately heading in the same direction.
What are yall's thoughts?
EDIT: I should have searched the subreddit before posting lol
2024.05.13 22:07 EntrepreneurAny221 AIW for telling a girl I donât see a future with her
Iâve been seeing this girl for eight years. We only get together to have sex multiple times a week. If I dated others girls sheâd get jealous so I hid it from her.
Recently we got into a fight because she was mad that after almost a decade she has never met my mom. She said all her friends are getting married. I said âyou told other girls I was dating I was cheating on them and told everyone in my life including my friends. If I was with you, theyâd all think I was psycho and cut me outâ. She said âyou choose to string me along and cheat. I didnât know you were dating them and reacted in anger when I found out. I think most people would understand my reactionâ. I told her no because all my friends would think I was stupid for being with her. She said if you cared about me, youâd fight for me or wouldnât care what your friends thought because you cared for me. She said she would ruin all her relationships for me.
I told her I donât see a future with her. I said this is all it will ever be because of her actions. The only thing we will have is sex in my car. She said I donât get why you date anyone else but me, itâs been almost a decade, you obviously like me and Iâm your most successful relationship. I told her I would have dated her but her jealousy turns me off. That I can only have sex with her in my car to control her reactions. I said this is it.
She slammed the door crying and sent me TONS of emotional messages.
I still want to see her. I told her Iâm not seeing anyone else but we can just do our thing in private and we can be together. She said âuntil you get the next girlfriend who is good enough for publicâ. I said no I wonât do that again. She said what girl honestly would want this for themselves. She said she put me above her for too long. She told me I put every girl above her when she stood by me. I said she was living in the past. She was like the past is all I have to go by if thereâs no future.
Was I wrong for telling a girl we have no future?
submitted by EntrepreneurAny221 to amiwrong [link] [comments]
Recently we got into a fight because she was mad that after almost a decade she has never met my mom. She said all her friends are getting married. I said âyou told other girls I was dating I was cheating on them and told everyone in my life including my friends. If I was with you, theyâd all think I was psycho and cut me outâ. She said âyou choose to string me along and cheat. I didnât know you were dating them and reacted in anger when I found out. I think most people would understand my reactionâ. I told her no because all my friends would think I was stupid for being with her. She said if you cared about me, youâd fight for me or wouldnât care what your friends thought because you cared for me. She said she would ruin all her relationships for me.
I told her I donât see a future with her. I said this is all it will ever be because of her actions. The only thing we will have is sex in my car. She said I donât get why you date anyone else but me, itâs been almost a decade, you obviously like me and Iâm your most successful relationship. I told her I would have dated her but her jealousy turns me off. That I can only have sex with her in my car to control her reactions. I said this is it.
She slammed the door crying and sent me TONS of emotional messages.
I still want to see her. I told her Iâm not seeing anyone else but we can just do our thing in private and we can be together. She said âuntil you get the next girlfriend who is good enough for publicâ. I said no I wonât do that again. She said what girl honestly would want this for themselves. She said she put me above her for too long. She told me I put every girl above her when she stood by me. I said she was living in the past. She was like the past is all I have to go by if thereâs no future.
Was I wrong for telling a girl we have no future?
2024.05.13 22:05 20sareoverrated Xavier - Lumiere Myth pair discussion
Xavier is just a huge box of green flags as a boyfriend. He dotes on us constantly and is nursing us back to health when we are injured. I love how the game explores the idea of Xavier being worried if we love him for who he really is vs. the fantasy we have of him (Lumiere) in our head. Lumiere is a persona he assumes when he has to fight large hordes of wanderers, and killing is something he feels very conflicted about doing. He also seems to prefer an uncomplicated, simple, peaceful life to one of being idolized. Itâs ironic how Xavier is a fantasy 2D boyfriend but also in the game he wants to be loved for the ârealâ him. Real him wants to tend to flowers, cuddle, play video games, and do normal things. So often in dating we realize that sometimes we love or are loved for the idea of who we are instead of who we want to be. We donât want people to admire us for just our accomplishments or what we can do for them, we want people who love us no matter what and truly adore our company.
Gameplay: Lumiere as a battle companion is excellent for crowd control. I love the incorporation of moon phases into his animation. Ardent oath and resonance skills will drop you somewhere far from your attackers so you can attack from a safe distance. I love how it fits with Xavierâs habit of creating both personal distance in our relationship and trying to get us out of harmâs way to keep us safe. Lumiere might not be an ideal companion for fights where youâre facing one big boss because basically youâll be spending precious seconds trying to run closer to whatever youâre attacking, and he keeps pushing you out of the way.
Other notes: I always wonder how Zayne and Xavierâs interactions are since theyâre the two who seem to be most likely to run into each other while one is with the MC. For example, Xavier is talking about taking her to her doctorâs appointment, and while the storylines are separated, itâs implied they all exist in the same universe. And it also seems that in the separate love storylines the boys consider themselves to be in an exclusive relationship with MC. Xavier often says he can hear us in our apartment - does that mean he heard âCozy Afternoonâ and âBusiness Tripâ too? đ«Ł And more than once MC has to go to the hospital for wanderer related injuries, often accompanied by Xavier, where Dr. Zayne is her primary care physician and he mentions worrying about seeing her among the injured. It makes me think about how someone could be the love of your life in one universe and just your doctor or coworker in another.
submitted by 20sareoverrated to LoveAndDeepspace [link] [comments]
Gameplay: Lumiere as a battle companion is excellent for crowd control. I love the incorporation of moon phases into his animation. Ardent oath and resonance skills will drop you somewhere far from your attackers so you can attack from a safe distance. I love how it fits with Xavierâs habit of creating both personal distance in our relationship and trying to get us out of harmâs way to keep us safe. Lumiere might not be an ideal companion for fights where youâre facing one big boss because basically youâll be spending precious seconds trying to run closer to whatever youâre attacking, and he keeps pushing you out of the way.
Other notes: I always wonder how Zayne and Xavierâs interactions are since theyâre the two who seem to be most likely to run into each other while one is with the MC. For example, Xavier is talking about taking her to her doctorâs appointment, and while the storylines are separated, itâs implied they all exist in the same universe. And it also seems that in the separate love storylines the boys consider themselves to be in an exclusive relationship with MC. Xavier often says he can hear us in our apartment - does that mean he heard âCozy Afternoonâ and âBusiness Tripâ too? đ«Ł And more than once MC has to go to the hospital for wanderer related injuries, often accompanied by Xavier, where Dr. Zayne is her primary care physician and he mentions worrying about seeing her among the injured. It makes me think about how someone could be the love of your life in one universe and just your doctor or coworker in another.
2024.05.13 22:05 Healthy_Pineapple787 âPersephone, take a seatâŠâ
Sorry for grammar, Iâm just really mad. And English is not my first language.
Before I will start my melt down, I want to say that the art was tasty, kudos to Rachel, every panel was a chef kiss.
I want to go full Chris Hansen on RS and tell her âTake a seatâ. Why would she even give Apollo the right to say something during Persephone's monologue?
Iâm so mad that she was so EASY on punishment for men when THEY are the main reason for the whole sh_t show that is happening. Iâm not saying it in a way that âall men are badâ, their negative traits and actions were an allegory for main traits of toxic masculinity (abuse of âinferiorâ, misogyny, competitiveness even among family members, glorifying of power). This is why I liked Hades in the beginning, he was all that. Persephone was acting (as a character) as antipode to him when there was some building up for his growth. But then Persephone turned into Hadesâs sugar baby, because itâs easier to move on with a story when you donât have to work on difficult aspects of your character.
Hades was at the same level with Apollo in the beginning of the story. The only difference? Hades was hiding his negative traits under power and wealth, playing into the gentlemen thing. And only because of age, because he has more instruments to hide it than Apollo.
Well, Hades didnât change at all. After all. Only became gentle and started opening about his feelings, but, thatâs all.
About other âvillainsâ. I hate that both Cronus and Apollo were depicted as scared and sorry at the end. I will explain why. When villains are depicted remorseful of their actions, it means that there was some part of them that was right at some point. Like you know, Magneto, for example. A genocide survivor who was driven to kill many people himself, but was stopped. At some point of his journey, he took a wrong turn. Thatâs why his remorse makeâs sense. Cronus and Apollo, on the other hand, are just two negative and dangerous aspects of toxic masculinity, who took embodiment in God form (in comics). They were dehumanized and depicted as pure evil. Why do we give them very human reactions when they have nothing good in them that can make them sorry?
Now, to resolution of the conflict with Apollo. Pepe, honey, take a seat. Persephone had much more intense dialogues with innocent women. One of them was turned into a plant. Because Pepe got mad. Can you feel me? At first, I was thinking that maybe Iâm thinking too much, but RS is REALLY forgiving to men who did the most evil things in the story, one got his cheeks clapped and was dissolved AND FORGIVEN, the other got silent treatment and a panic attack. She could at least turn him into a plant or a tree as a reference for Daphne, but no, MF sobbed a little and fell on his knees.
When he was answering her, I wanted to cry. I still feel like crying. Itâs so wrong. There was no rage. There was only a panic attack and MF got dialogue options like in an angst novel or something. You know, when one really f_up, but they still love MC, and they really care that they f_up? Itâs a toxic writing but, still⊠She did nothing to punish him, she did nothing to reclaim her âpowerâ. She just shushed him and said, âgo tell others what you have doneâ.
I hate that RS gave Apollo dialog. Because for the first time, Persephone had all right to suppress him with power, but he still got a say.
RS builds this absolutely horrifying characters, just to turn their boss fight into a few sobs and âsorryâ. Cronus should have died without acknowledging that he was wrong. He was the embodiment of toxic masculinity, he should have been wiped as he was - a horrible man who wouldnât let his delusions go even in the face of death. Apollo should have been tortured by Persephone, not given a panic attack and few sons. Why am I sound so bloodthirsty? Maybe because Persephone was threatening a girl with a knife? Maybe because she turned her boyfriend ex into a plant? For a very long time? Maybe because sheâs capable of rage? So why she used said rage on innocent people while forgiving the one that turned her life into hell?
submitted by Healthy_Pineapple787 to UnpopularLoreOlympus [link] [comments]
Before I will start my melt down, I want to say that the art was tasty, kudos to Rachel, every panel was a chef kiss.
I want to go full Chris Hansen on RS and tell her âTake a seatâ. Why would she even give Apollo the right to say something during Persephone's monologue?
Iâm so mad that she was so EASY on punishment for men when THEY are the main reason for the whole sh_t show that is happening. Iâm not saying it in a way that âall men are badâ, their negative traits and actions were an allegory for main traits of toxic masculinity (abuse of âinferiorâ, misogyny, competitiveness even among family members, glorifying of power). This is why I liked Hades in the beginning, he was all that. Persephone was acting (as a character) as antipode to him when there was some building up for his growth. But then Persephone turned into Hadesâs sugar baby, because itâs easier to move on with a story when you donât have to work on difficult aspects of your character.
Hades was at the same level with Apollo in the beginning of the story. The only difference? Hades was hiding his negative traits under power and wealth, playing into the gentlemen thing. And only because of age, because he has more instruments to hide it than Apollo.
Well, Hades didnât change at all. After all. Only became gentle and started opening about his feelings, but, thatâs all.
About other âvillainsâ. I hate that both Cronus and Apollo were depicted as scared and sorry at the end. I will explain why. When villains are depicted remorseful of their actions, it means that there was some part of them that was right at some point. Like you know, Magneto, for example. A genocide survivor who was driven to kill many people himself, but was stopped. At some point of his journey, he took a wrong turn. Thatâs why his remorse makeâs sense. Cronus and Apollo, on the other hand, are just two negative and dangerous aspects of toxic masculinity, who took embodiment in God form (in comics). They were dehumanized and depicted as pure evil. Why do we give them very human reactions when they have nothing good in them that can make them sorry?
Now, to resolution of the conflict with Apollo. Pepe, honey, take a seat. Persephone had much more intense dialogues with innocent women. One of them was turned into a plant. Because Pepe got mad. Can you feel me? At first, I was thinking that maybe Iâm thinking too much, but RS is REALLY forgiving to men who did the most evil things in the story, one got his cheeks clapped and was dissolved AND FORGIVEN, the other got silent treatment and a panic attack. She could at least turn him into a plant or a tree as a reference for Daphne, but no, MF sobbed a little and fell on his knees.
When he was answering her, I wanted to cry. I still feel like crying. Itâs so wrong. There was no rage. There was only a panic attack and MF got dialogue options like in an angst novel or something. You know, when one really f_up, but they still love MC, and they really care that they f_up? Itâs a toxic writing but, still⊠She did nothing to punish him, she did nothing to reclaim her âpowerâ. She just shushed him and said, âgo tell others what you have doneâ.
I hate that RS gave Apollo dialog. Because for the first time, Persephone had all right to suppress him with power, but he still got a say.
RS builds this absolutely horrifying characters, just to turn their boss fight into a few sobs and âsorryâ. Cronus should have died without acknowledging that he was wrong. He was the embodiment of toxic masculinity, he should have been wiped as he was - a horrible man who wouldnât let his delusions go even in the face of death. Apollo should have been tortured by Persephone, not given a panic attack and few sons. Why am I sound so bloodthirsty? Maybe because Persephone was threatening a girl with a knife? Maybe because she turned her boyfriend ex into a plant? For a very long time? Maybe because sheâs capable of rage? So why she used said rage on innocent people while forgiving the one that turned her life into hell?
2024.05.13 22:04 Pleasant-Mellwgrl09 Unfriending one of his ex crushes
I (28F) have been dating my boyfriend (31M) for 6 years now. We've come along way however we have this little issue that always comes up. So long story short, I'm the only girlfriend he's ever seriously had. He Had one back in high school but short term. Ever since, before meeting me, he had little flings and crushes here and there, again not anything explicit or s*xual. Moving forward, we meet and start dating but we never agreed on boundaries and do's and dont's because it just never occurred. But I know they are essential when dating or in general. So, I start noticing that he keeps in contact with the girls he's date or had a fling with. It never bothered me until he made me delete a friend whom he was jealous of back then and on top of that he made me delete a lot of pictures with this, which never mattered to me because it was casual stuff with this other guy. With that being said I assumed that he would do the same or just not keep in contact with his past flings right??? To me, exes or crushes are off limits in terms of keeping up with. Well there is this girl whom I noticed he still talks to her. We already argued about him respecting my boundaries and stop talking to her and he agreed. Now, last night I got really drunk and went through his phone because unfortunately I don't have my complete trust in him. (He knows this because of stuff from the past) and I saw that he still has her as a recent on his DM's. So I allowed my self to unfollow her from his account and make her unfollow him.
Now I'm thinking was it the right thing to do?? I hope he doesn't like her because he tells me he doesn't. I've always been pretty confident however I've gained some weight and I (myself) feel less attractive. I still lots of attention but I don't think my confidence in my self has gone down, I think my confidence in attachment is insecure and I feel that he should also stop talking to girls from his past like I've done. I don't plan on telling him about what I've done. If he finds out I plan on admitting to it though.
But right now I feel disappointed and need a break from him. Any tips on how to move forward?? I do feel slightly bad but I'm also upset on him not respecting my boundaries.
submitted by Pleasant-Mellwgrl09 to CouplesTherapyShow [link] [comments]
Now I'm thinking was it the right thing to do?? I hope he doesn't like her because he tells me he doesn't. I've always been pretty confident however I've gained some weight and I (myself) feel less attractive. I still lots of attention but I don't think my confidence in my self has gone down, I think my confidence in attachment is insecure and I feel that he should also stop talking to girls from his past like I've done. I don't plan on telling him about what I've done. If he finds out I plan on admitting to it though.
But right now I feel disappointed and need a break from him. Any tips on how to move forward?? I do feel slightly bad but I'm also upset on him not respecting my boundaries.
2024.05.13 22:03 SensitiveRun3745 drunk words are sober thoughts?
(LONG STORY) over the weekend me (22) and my boyfriend (24) were hanging out, and had some tequila to drink, just in the basement. He was pretty drunk and so was I but we were having a great time. we were in our gaming room together, when he started making weird remarks. Kept saying this one girl we know was a SMOKE SHOW, how hot she is.. this obviously bothered me because this person is dating a member of my family, so i asked him to stop. He kept repeating over and over again how hot she was, then proceeded to say âif that was my girl, iâd show her off everywhereâ so i got upset. he never posted me before so that obviously made me feel insecure. Then proceeded to say âthe first girlfriend you have, you NEVER forget and are OBSESSED with them. after the 3rd or 4th girlfriend, fuck then you donât post them.â this really got to me, so i cried. Later on in the night, after asking me why I was upset he said âdo you want me to lie to you? itâs just the truthâ i was deeply troubled hearing all of this. We go on a omegle alternative and then flirts with someone when im sitting right next to him. This got me even more upset. Then at the end of the night, he proceeded to break up with me and kept saying âTHIS ISNT WORKING OUT AND YOU KNOW ITâ We live together so he was threatening to leave in a month, tried to book a hotel and kicked me out of the gaming room. I cried all night. I confronted him the next morning and he didnât remember anything. This was completely out of character of him. My self esteem is completely shattered, iâm left questioning if he really does love me the way I love him and the entirety of our relationship. Iâm not sure what to do. It opened my eyes. We have been dating for 8 months. What do I do? I am extremely stuck. I am more hurt than anything, and I canât stop thinking about all that he said, and did. Any advice?
submitted by SensitiveRun3745 to Advice [link] [comments]
2024.05.13 21:55 ChristHemsworth Ongoing harassment about false rape accusation
Hey, everyone. Thanks in advance to anyone willing to take the time to read this. So, about 7 years ago while still in high school, my husband (obviously, we werent together yet then but I already knew him) got involved with a girl who is quite mentally unwell. She was obsessed with my partner and his best friend. Anyway, things went awry in their relationship and she started putting out false rape accusations against him There are no formal charges, but he did get cast out of his friend group and bullied pretty severly in person and online because of it. He didn't do it. I know he didn't because he explained to me what happened on the night she was talking about and it just wasn't rape by any definition. There was no force or coercion and she could consent. Basically, she's throwing the word "rape" around because she's irritated that he didn't want to take things further in their relationship. So she wanted him out of her friend group and also to punish him by smearing his good name.
Fast forward to 7 years later. I'm married to him and we have a great life together. Now, we run into her and her boyfriend in the grocery store. He pulls out his phone and begins recording and calling my partner a rapist, loudly, and in front of everyone in the store. His girlfriend (the primary "victim" and accuser in all this) cannot even look me in the eye while I am loudly confronting her boyfriend. She's tugging on his arm and begging him to leave, trying to get him to stop making a scene while I am loudly threatening to sue him and yelling at him to leave us alone. While all this was happening, my partner was desperate to turn invisible behind me. Finally, they fuck off and I'm finally left to comfort my partner.
It happened again, but this time, I wasn't around to protect my partner. He was leaving the store (a different one this time) and spots the girl's boyfriend out in the parking lot. He takes out his phone and starts yelling accusations again and my partner is humiliated, so he just rushes into his car and drives away.
I should mention- this boyfriend is a shady guy. Like, there's a ton of creepy things he's done to women that are well-known in our friend group. (It's making me debate on whether I should hire a private investigator to figure out what stuff he's been actually charged with. An ugly, and not-so-smart part of me wants stuff to yell right back and draw attention to HIM in public next time it happens.)
Anyway, he hasn't threatened bodily harm so I can't sue for harrassment. The best I could probably do is try and get him for slander. I wish I could somehow get a restraining order on this guy because he's crazy. He's literally the only one escalating things like this in public. His girflriend wants nothing to do with these spectacles. I'm perfectly content to let sleeping dogs lie, but this boyfriend of hers is giving me no choice but to fight back
submitted by ChristHemsworth to legaladvice [link] [comments]
Fast forward to 7 years later. I'm married to him and we have a great life together. Now, we run into her and her boyfriend in the grocery store. He pulls out his phone and begins recording and calling my partner a rapist, loudly, and in front of everyone in the store. His girlfriend (the primary "victim" and accuser in all this) cannot even look me in the eye while I am loudly confronting her boyfriend. She's tugging on his arm and begging him to leave, trying to get him to stop making a scene while I am loudly threatening to sue him and yelling at him to leave us alone. While all this was happening, my partner was desperate to turn invisible behind me. Finally, they fuck off and I'm finally left to comfort my partner.
It happened again, but this time, I wasn't around to protect my partner. He was leaving the store (a different one this time) and spots the girl's boyfriend out in the parking lot. He takes out his phone and starts yelling accusations again and my partner is humiliated, so he just rushes into his car and drives away.
I should mention- this boyfriend is a shady guy. Like, there's a ton of creepy things he's done to women that are well-known in our friend group. (It's making me debate on whether I should hire a private investigator to figure out what stuff he's been actually charged with. An ugly, and not-so-smart part of me wants stuff to yell right back and draw attention to HIM in public next time it happens.)
Anyway, he hasn't threatened bodily harm so I can't sue for harrassment. The best I could probably do is try and get him for slander. I wish I could somehow get a restraining order on this guy because he's crazy. He's literally the only one escalating things like this in public. His girflriend wants nothing to do with these spectacles. I'm perfectly content to let sleeping dogs lie, but this boyfriend of hers is giving me no choice but to fight back
2024.05.13 21:50 DiscountAnxiety99 AITAH for kicking my mother in law out?
I 24f and my 31m husband have lived in our very small apartment with 3 young children 10,8,3 since 2021 and in January I was informed his mother was being evicted due to her refusing to leave her financially abusive relationship and they went to live in the woods from Jan to April 28th (alittle back story; when I met my husband 5 years ago she treated me like garbage always comparing me to his ex girlfriend that he almost married and had the two older kids to the point I would physically get sick if I had to be around her April of 2022 she had been staying with us to help with our baby and in the middle of helping us one night she got up left with one of the kids and said she was bringing them back the next day. at that point I was suffering with ppd and needed an extra hand which my husband was not doing we got in a fight and he called his mother and she came back threatened to attack me and took our daughter for 3 days while my husband had me admitted to hospital after that I never ever treated her the same but this April gone by her mother my husband's grandmother passed and I have always had the mentality if you are nice to me I'm nice to you kind of thing and she had been very nice to me for a long time so I tried to be a comfort to her told her I was thinking of her checked in on her the whole 9 yards) 3 days before the end of April he came to me and explained she was being kicked out of the spot she was staying and would be coming to stay with us for a while which was okay by me I would have some help around the house and someone to talk to since my husband is a first responder and works alot. Three days into her living with us she starts throwing down rules like my children can't play in the livingroom anymore my 3 year old can't have naps anymore and I started feeling anxious and sick around her so I called my mom explaining everything and she came and picked me and my youngest up for the night. It wasn't til I got to her house that I realized husband worked in the morning so I called and said hey I forgot you qork tommrow do you need me to come home? He resured me that no I don't need to come home him and his mother got it handled I said okay but told him to tell her if she needed me to call me I texted him 4 or 5 more times that night to make sure he knew if he needed me to come home to call and my mother would bring me I even messaged his mother but no reply from her all day Saturday sunday comes along and he comes get me doesn't say a word to me about anything won't even speak to me I get home and I'm getting our youngest settled down for a nap and I hear his mother scream "myname get out here right now we need to talk" so I replied with "what now hername" and this is where she started attacking me saying I'm a bad mother I'm disgusting I keep youngest in the bedroom all day I never do this or that and that was when I piped up and said how dare you speak to me like that in my own home I asked you both multiple times over the last 3 days if you wanted me to come home no one replied and she started going on about how they were cleaning and I replied your serious right you were online when I messaged you and she replied no I wasn't and calling me a lier and husband is losing it at me in front of youngest who is screaming and crying so I turn around and pack my stuff and tell him my dad is on his way to come get me and they tell me I need to go back in the house and clean up my filth (she had thrown garbage bags in my bedroom and diaper boxes) I said no and started calling the cops cause she was treating to take my daughter again and I said no that is my child your not leaving with my child cops show up they take both our statements and the cop is telling me me and husband should have a conversation about weather or not she needs to be in the home so I go in packing my things to leave cops say he can have the child til 5pm then I'm allowed to come get her so I'm packing to leave and he's chasing youngest thought the house so I'm yelling so he can hear me and his mother flips out and tells me to lower my f***** voice or the cops will come right back and I tell her to leave me the hell alone so I can have a private conversation with husband so she goes out stands on our deck waving her hands like a madman screaming that the cops need to come back and deal with me but when the cops come back he tells me to lower my voice I apologize and ask some legal questions and they go to leave I finish packing my stuff and husband tells me to leave and go wait for him and when I walk out I hear her tell the cop she's concerned for her grandchildrens safty and that was when I realized how little she really cared and I only stayed at my mother's for a few hours before I came home and told him I don't feel safe in my own home and I shouldn't have to live like this and the following day she came at 8pm grabbed her belongings and left I don't feel an ounce of sympathy for her I would if she didn't say that opening up a child safty case on us by telling the cop the kids wernt safe. She now calls every morning and every night to talk to him. He won't go anywhere or do anything in case she needs him and quite honestly I'm kind of sick of her acting like he needs to take care of her 24/7 it's annoying and rude. So I guess I just wanna know aitah for telling her off and that she needs to leave?
submitted by DiscountAnxiety99 to AITAH [link] [comments]
2024.05.13 21:48 Optimal-Watch4100 friendship ended over something dumb.
before i say all this i just wanna say ive come to terms that it is my fault and i apologized to all parties include. I do however just wanna get it out and get a different opinion than the people involved.
I am 20f and my boyfriend is a 19m. We met at an adult continuing school Iâve been going to since Aug of last year. I met him some time in Feb of 2024 and started dating a few weeks later. Before meeting my boyfriend though, I became friends with a girl who we will refer to as SB (18) (not her initials just short for Subject B lol). So, this girl I met her in the same school as my boyfriend but months before. We came together due to another incident that has nothing to do with this current story. Anyways, so I realized things about SB that I really did not appreciate and Iâm actually a very timid person & I have issues controlling my emotions so confrontation is a really difficult task for me. I knew she wasnât the most reasonable person to speak to, so I just let the problems build up inside of me. Some of the main things that really bothered me was just overall how she treated me. This isnât to boast or brag but I feel Iâve done my best to show her I cared for her. I drove out to her at the dead of night to give her eardrops for an ear infection she was having, Ive bought her food multiple times. I went to the hospital with her, where we stayed for 4 hours because no one else in her family wanted to bring her. Basically, I tried to be the best friend I could for her. I have given her advice based on her current life situations. Iâve given her a listening ear. And somehow, I still feel like it wasnât enough and that she still just disliked me.
I wanna say the first occurence was when I made it clear I really didnât like being called by my whole name. Everyone knew I liked the shorter version of my name and thatâs all I was referred to by. She did not care, she would still do it to⊠taunt me? I believe.. to joke around ? Maybe. But I didnât like it. I even asked her to stop and she was like Oh okay {my name}.
While thatâs minor it just showed me she wasnât respecting me the way Iâd like.
What really started the timer on our doomed friendship was the day my boyfriend invited us (SB and I) to a little spot he knew to smoke and just hang out after class. It was at a park underneath a bridge. So, SB did originally state she did not want to go to the bridge, because she was scared. I guess in a way we did peer pressure her? We just tried to reassure and convince her it would be okay since we were all together. It was my first time going as well, so I was just being hopeful and adventurous. When we arrived, really it was such an easy spot to get to, I thought for sure she would feel relaxed. I noticed she was scared to cross over this small bridge we were walking so I offered to help her twice. Twice I offered my hand and she told me she was fine and that she had it. So I continued about my business and crossed over. Not even 5 seconds later I look behind me and shes grasping onto my boyfriend to cross over. Really I didnât think any of it then. I didnât mind.
That was only the beginning. She got so comfortable touching my boyfriend & confiding in him with things her own boyfriend didnât know about. She pulled my boyfriends arm hair, sometimes his real hair. She tried tripping him a lot. She was just very⊠playful. Which, really. I wouldnât have minded if I wasnât so doubtful she liked me. My boyfriend agreed she was weird & felt uncomfortable with her touching him and even asked her to stop. Mind you, she also had a boyfriend (18) who we can refer to as M. When she got mad at me she wouldnât tell anyone, not me, not her boyfriend. Not our other older friend who we can call T. (30F) Nope, the only person she told was ofc my boyfriend. She texted him behind my back multiple times to tell him I was âbeing dramaticâ over things he was doing that I was concerned with. Which, understanable if I was. But why did you tell him and not me?
Her boyfriend also told my boyfriend and I that he felt the relationship with her was very unfair, that it was her way or no way. My boyfriend thankfully explained that that wasnât the case with us and he found me to be very fair (thankfully) Lol. I pitied her boyfriend because I agreed she was very entitled.
I finally broke and confided to T how I felt about everything. I didnât say anything rude, I didnât call her bad names. I didnât say I didnât like her. I simply expressed my discomfort. And man oh man was that a mistake. T ended up telling SB I wanted to talk to her & that I had a lot to say. IDK, Iâm assuming she made it sound really bad because all I know is monday morning at school, M came towards me and my bf with attitude asking what the problem with his gf was.
I was confused as fuck to say the least. I had no idea T told SB what we talked about & I wouldnât know why she did because I had asked her not to mention it as I wanted to bring it up myself. SB was going through a rough time with her father sick, so I hadnât talked to her much. Two minutes later T and SB also came down where me and my bf were at and T told me she wanted us to talk. When I stepped out into the hallway, I got into a flight or a fight mode. SB was walking around in circles, hands balled into fists punching the palm of the opposite hand. She was muttering to herself words like âBitch⊠talking shit about me⊠say it to my faceâ.
I was like nope Iâm good. I walked away and said I wasnât dealing with this. M turned towards me and said I better deal with it. To my luck the bell for the next class rang so they all left. SB texted me from Mâs phone to say I was insecure, she didnât wanna talk with me anymore, that she was just done with me. M wanted to fight my bf, he called me a weird person, a bitch.. all of the above really. That was it technically. It ended there.
I canât help but feel bad about it. Maybe I was overreacting, maybe I shouldnât have said amything about it. Maybe I SHOULD have just mentioned it to SB. But THIS was literally what I was afraid of. I was afraid of it turning into something big and unnecessary. I just feel I ruined everything. I have BPD, depression, and anxiety so really I already feel like I am out of my mind and always afraid of others hating me. Ive apologized to my boyfriend for getting him caught up in the nonsense. I apologized to SB and T. The only person I felt didnât deserve my apology was M.
So, AITA?
submitted by Optimal-Watch4100 to AITAH [link] [comments]
I am 20f and my boyfriend is a 19m. We met at an adult continuing school Iâve been going to since Aug of last year. I met him some time in Feb of 2024 and started dating a few weeks later. Before meeting my boyfriend though, I became friends with a girl who we will refer to as SB (18) (not her initials just short for Subject B lol). So, this girl I met her in the same school as my boyfriend but months before. We came together due to another incident that has nothing to do with this current story. Anyways, so I realized things about SB that I really did not appreciate and Iâm actually a very timid person & I have issues controlling my emotions so confrontation is a really difficult task for me. I knew she wasnât the most reasonable person to speak to, so I just let the problems build up inside of me. Some of the main things that really bothered me was just overall how she treated me. This isnât to boast or brag but I feel Iâve done my best to show her I cared for her. I drove out to her at the dead of night to give her eardrops for an ear infection she was having, Ive bought her food multiple times. I went to the hospital with her, where we stayed for 4 hours because no one else in her family wanted to bring her. Basically, I tried to be the best friend I could for her. I have given her advice based on her current life situations. Iâve given her a listening ear. And somehow, I still feel like it wasnât enough and that she still just disliked me.
I wanna say the first occurence was when I made it clear I really didnât like being called by my whole name. Everyone knew I liked the shorter version of my name and thatâs all I was referred to by. She did not care, she would still do it to⊠taunt me? I believe.. to joke around ? Maybe. But I didnât like it. I even asked her to stop and she was like Oh okay {my name}.
While thatâs minor it just showed me she wasnât respecting me the way Iâd like.
What really started the timer on our doomed friendship was the day my boyfriend invited us (SB and I) to a little spot he knew to smoke and just hang out after class. It was at a park underneath a bridge. So, SB did originally state she did not want to go to the bridge, because she was scared. I guess in a way we did peer pressure her? We just tried to reassure and convince her it would be okay since we were all together. It was my first time going as well, so I was just being hopeful and adventurous. When we arrived, really it was such an easy spot to get to, I thought for sure she would feel relaxed. I noticed she was scared to cross over this small bridge we were walking so I offered to help her twice. Twice I offered my hand and she told me she was fine and that she had it. So I continued about my business and crossed over. Not even 5 seconds later I look behind me and shes grasping onto my boyfriend to cross over. Really I didnât think any of it then. I didnât mind.
That was only the beginning. She got so comfortable touching my boyfriend & confiding in him with things her own boyfriend didnât know about. She pulled my boyfriends arm hair, sometimes his real hair. She tried tripping him a lot. She was just very⊠playful. Which, really. I wouldnât have minded if I wasnât so doubtful she liked me. My boyfriend agreed she was weird & felt uncomfortable with her touching him and even asked her to stop. Mind you, she also had a boyfriend (18) who we can refer to as M. When she got mad at me she wouldnât tell anyone, not me, not her boyfriend. Not our other older friend who we can call T. (30F) Nope, the only person she told was ofc my boyfriend. She texted him behind my back multiple times to tell him I was âbeing dramaticâ over things he was doing that I was concerned with. Which, understanable if I was. But why did you tell him and not me?
Her boyfriend also told my boyfriend and I that he felt the relationship with her was very unfair, that it was her way or no way. My boyfriend thankfully explained that that wasnât the case with us and he found me to be very fair (thankfully) Lol. I pitied her boyfriend because I agreed she was very entitled.
I finally broke and confided to T how I felt about everything. I didnât say anything rude, I didnât call her bad names. I didnât say I didnât like her. I simply expressed my discomfort. And man oh man was that a mistake. T ended up telling SB I wanted to talk to her & that I had a lot to say. IDK, Iâm assuming she made it sound really bad because all I know is monday morning at school, M came towards me and my bf with attitude asking what the problem with his gf was.
I was confused as fuck to say the least. I had no idea T told SB what we talked about & I wouldnât know why she did because I had asked her not to mention it as I wanted to bring it up myself. SB was going through a rough time with her father sick, so I hadnât talked to her much. Two minutes later T and SB also came down where me and my bf were at and T told me she wanted us to talk. When I stepped out into the hallway, I got into a flight or a fight mode. SB was walking around in circles, hands balled into fists punching the palm of the opposite hand. She was muttering to herself words like âBitch⊠talking shit about me⊠say it to my faceâ.
I was like nope Iâm good. I walked away and said I wasnât dealing with this. M turned towards me and said I better deal with it. To my luck the bell for the next class rang so they all left. SB texted me from Mâs phone to say I was insecure, she didnât wanna talk with me anymore, that she was just done with me. M wanted to fight my bf, he called me a weird person, a bitch.. all of the above really. That was it technically. It ended there.
I canât help but feel bad about it. Maybe I was overreacting, maybe I shouldnât have said amything about it. Maybe I SHOULD have just mentioned it to SB. But THIS was literally what I was afraid of. I was afraid of it turning into something big and unnecessary. I just feel I ruined everything. I have BPD, depression, and anxiety so really I already feel like I am out of my mind and always afraid of others hating me. Ive apologized to my boyfriend for getting him caught up in the nonsense. I apologized to SB and T. The only person I felt didnât deserve my apology was M.
So, AITA?
2024.05.13 21:45 byzancee Me (21) and my gf (20) doesn't talk like we used to ever since she met my parents
We've been together for almost seven and a half months now, and she was dismayed by how my mom treated her; she didn't feel any warmth or reception. I can't entirely blame her, considering societal norms dictate that a boyfriend's parents should greet the girlfriend warmly, which my mom failed to do. To cut a long story short, my parents are very strict and controlling, solely focused on themselves. They rarely allow others into their lives and struggle to interact with people, often remaining silent. She's the first girlfriend I've introduced to my parents, and they know she's someone special, not just a random stranger. I've been trying hard to confront my parents, especially my mom, but their excuse is always that they're tired and not in the mood.
Initially, my girlfriend brushed off feeling unwelcome after meeting my mom, but over time, it became a point of contention between us. She realized we weren't progressing in our relationship and feels we need to take action sooner rather than later. Despite my reassurances that things will improve with time, given that she'll be the first to join our family, she insists I act quickly to move things forward.
She finds it unfair because while I'm warmly welcomed into her household, she isn't reciprocated the same kindness. She believes our efforts are futile, and we won't achieve the life we aspire to. I'm at a loss when she brings up moments where she felt ignored by my mom and have no idea how to address it. To make matters worse, she retaliated by posting on social media on how her other ex's parents treated her nicely, comparing my parents' behavior unfavorably to hers.
tl;dr: I am worried about our future and I don't know what I should do to make my girlfriend feel welcome to my family. I am in no position to control the way how my parents act and despite me doing my best to move forward, my gf retaliated by posting on social media and as well as greeting her ex's mom a mother's day on a direct message while she refrained from greeting my mom.
submitted by byzancee to relationships [link] [comments]
Initially, my girlfriend brushed off feeling unwelcome after meeting my mom, but over time, it became a point of contention between us. She realized we weren't progressing in our relationship and feels we need to take action sooner rather than later. Despite my reassurances that things will improve with time, given that she'll be the first to join our family, she insists I act quickly to move things forward.
She finds it unfair because while I'm warmly welcomed into her household, she isn't reciprocated the same kindness. She believes our efforts are futile, and we won't achieve the life we aspire to. I'm at a loss when she brings up moments where she felt ignored by my mom and have no idea how to address it. To make matters worse, she retaliated by posting on social media on how her other ex's parents treated her nicely, comparing my parents' behavior unfavorably to hers.
tl;dr: I am worried about our future and I don't know what I should do to make my girlfriend feel welcome to my family. I am in no position to control the way how my parents act and despite me doing my best to move forward, my gf retaliated by posting on social media and as well as greeting her ex's mom a mother's day on a direct message while she refrained from greeting my mom.
2024.05.13 21:31 Question_Informal 31 [M4F] #Online/USA - a daydream
Hello stranger, i know it is hard to find someone compatible, especially online, but i wish luck to all of you reading this post. And if i am really lucky, maybe i will find what iâm looking for aswell.
My intentions are clear: i want to find You. I want to find the right person for the right cause which is starting a family together. The question is: is that You?
I think three important factors you looking for are: 1. Mutual attraction 2. Similar goals/shared interests 3. He is not a complete dumbass
I will start with mutual attraction. Iâm willing to exchange pics in private just so we know that this can work and you like my appearance. I donât want to add my pic to this post cause i care about my privacy. I will be honest by saying it is an important objective, a physical attraction. To make things easier i can say a few things about my looks: 5â11 (180 cm), 187 lbs (85 kg +/-), blue eyes, black hair, broad shoulders, deep voice.
Second most important thing for you is who i am and what i like.
Iâm a man of strong moral fiber. I value honesty, loyalty and kindness. I treat people right and iâm willing to help whenever i have a chance, i also care for my family which is super important to me. I see myself as a conservative person. I hold traditional values and i got much respect for religion and history. Individual freedom and free speech is all iâm about, also iâm a pacifist, i will defend my family and close ones with all i have, but at the same time iâm not looking for troubles and not getting into fights, that was never my thing, i like to resolve problems with words, not fists.
Shared interest paragraph is ready to go. I like to read a lot, i also write some stuff, im getting ready to publish my book one day (all i need is more inspiration from You, be my Muse). Music is my thing, iâm going to a lot of concerts and festivals, road trips, watching youtube channels about history, science, cosmos and some other topics, iâm watching a lot of tv series and movies, like to spend time outside by walking or hiking, i like outdoors but iâm also a huge fan of spending time in bed and doing nothing sometimes.
My goal is to find a fine woman to start a family with. I always wanted to have a child, i think 2 or 3 is just the right number. I even have some names for kids, we can discuss it. I know how it is to grow up without a father figure thatâs why i always wanted to give that to my children, a big and happy home where dad and mom loves each other a lot and sending this vibe to their children. I also want to show to my kids all the books and music albums i love so much and i want to be for them always to raise them well! So if you are up for that - awesome!
I want a woman who is ambitious, i want her to support me cause i will do the very same thing. I want you to watch a soccer game with me willingly and i want you to invite me to your world, show me what you love and i want to be in it for you, even if it means watching a silly show in tv. Whatever makes you feel good, i want to be a part of it. Support, support, support and donât kill the other personâs vibe, iâm up for it.
I want a woman that is willing to talk about our feelings and everything, cause a real talk is the most important thing to build a strong foundation. Letâs talk and donât hide our feelings.
Life is worth living and it is way better to spend it all with the person you love, i want to find that person here. Maybe that is You? Letâs find out.
Also, the last thing - iâm not a complete dumbass, sometimes iâm just a silly boy!
I wish you all the best, cheers!
Also i want to include one of my fav quotes recently:
'Cause when you talk about these things, something ignites in you, and I can see it on your face.
And I don't see that on a lot of people. And, you know, whatever that feeling is, when you feel it, I feel that too.
And it's not just here. It's... It's afterwards. What I'm trying to say is i really like the way that I feel when I make you feel the way that you do.â
submitted by Question_Informal to r4r [link] [comments]
My intentions are clear: i want to find You. I want to find the right person for the right cause which is starting a family together. The question is: is that You?
I think three important factors you looking for are: 1. Mutual attraction 2. Similar goals/shared interests 3. He is not a complete dumbass
I will start with mutual attraction. Iâm willing to exchange pics in private just so we know that this can work and you like my appearance. I donât want to add my pic to this post cause i care about my privacy. I will be honest by saying it is an important objective, a physical attraction. To make things easier i can say a few things about my looks: 5â11 (180 cm), 187 lbs (85 kg +/-), blue eyes, black hair, broad shoulders, deep voice.
Second most important thing for you is who i am and what i like.
Iâm a man of strong moral fiber. I value honesty, loyalty and kindness. I treat people right and iâm willing to help whenever i have a chance, i also care for my family which is super important to me. I see myself as a conservative person. I hold traditional values and i got much respect for religion and history. Individual freedom and free speech is all iâm about, also iâm a pacifist, i will defend my family and close ones with all i have, but at the same time iâm not looking for troubles and not getting into fights, that was never my thing, i like to resolve problems with words, not fists.
Shared interest paragraph is ready to go. I like to read a lot, i also write some stuff, im getting ready to publish my book one day (all i need is more inspiration from You, be my Muse). Music is my thing, iâm going to a lot of concerts and festivals, road trips, watching youtube channels about history, science, cosmos and some other topics, iâm watching a lot of tv series and movies, like to spend time outside by walking or hiking, i like outdoors but iâm also a huge fan of spending time in bed and doing nothing sometimes.
My goal is to find a fine woman to start a family with. I always wanted to have a child, i think 2 or 3 is just the right number. I even have some names for kids, we can discuss it. I know how it is to grow up without a father figure thatâs why i always wanted to give that to my children, a big and happy home where dad and mom loves each other a lot and sending this vibe to their children. I also want to show to my kids all the books and music albums i love so much and i want to be for them always to raise them well! So if you are up for that - awesome!
I want a woman who is ambitious, i want her to support me cause i will do the very same thing. I want you to watch a soccer game with me willingly and i want you to invite me to your world, show me what you love and i want to be in it for you, even if it means watching a silly show in tv. Whatever makes you feel good, i want to be a part of it. Support, support, support and donât kill the other personâs vibe, iâm up for it.
I want a woman that is willing to talk about our feelings and everything, cause a real talk is the most important thing to build a strong foundation. Letâs talk and donât hide our feelings.
Life is worth living and it is way better to spend it all with the person you love, i want to find that person here. Maybe that is You? Letâs find out.
Also, the last thing - iâm not a complete dumbass, sometimes iâm just a silly boy!
I wish you all the best, cheers!
Also i want to include one of my fav quotes recently:
'Cause when you talk about these things, something ignites in you, and I can see it on your face.
And I don't see that on a lot of people. And, you know, whatever that feeling is, when you feel it, I feel that too.
And it's not just here. It's... It's afterwards. What I'm trying to say is i really like the way that I feel when I make you feel the way that you do.â
2024.05.13 21:25 greeneyedgarden This week's Heidi's Lane recap. She really has so much figured out, guys, and she's here to teach you how to be your best self. Her ego is on full display with this one. Enjoy the ride!
 | Heidiâs Lane Podcast. Episode 30, Part II. âMy Surrender Formula: Practical Tips For Letting Go Of Controlâ submitted by greeneyedgarden to hollisUncensored [link] [comments] (OP Notes: Credit where credit is due. Instead of her usual âvague talk;'' in this episode Heidi actually gives some real life examples to make her points. Now, get your post-its ready, she's shilling quote after quote in this one, and you wonât want to miss a moment of her life-changing content. This episode really highlights her delusions of grandeur. Remember when she proudly proclaimed that she âwasnât here to teach us, but to love us, and through her love we will be taught?â That era is apparently over. She truly thinks her teachings are changing lives. She âhumblyâ comes across as having all the secrets to a fulfilled life, while admitting that her content is âjust as much for me as it is for you.â BUT ALSO, just like Dave and Rach, she is âteachingâ from a place she has no expertise in, and not enough experience in. Letâs just say, her confidence on this topic of âsurrenderâ comes through loud and clear, and by the end of this episode, she wants you to be as enlightened as she is. One more thing, today she blames her panic attacks on her control issues. Heidi, your delusion is showing. Oh, and YES, just like in every episode, she mentions Dave, Chris, her panic attacks, and her challenges.) Parentheses are OP thoughts Her camera isnât working, so thereâs no video of this pod on Youtube. But sheâs decided to âlet go of controlâ and âsurrender to it.â âThis episode will be exactly what it needs to be.â Quote from the book âThe Surrender Experiment.â âDo whatever is put in front of you with all your heart and soul, without regard for personal results. Do the work as though it were given to you by the universe, because it was.â And then she reads it to us one more time, with more emphatic and dramatic pauses. Do you try to control your kids, or your spouse, or your parking, or the government? When we try to control them, what weâre saying is that we are God, or we are the universe. Think about your past relationships. Was it a perfect fit? A good fit? Or a terrible fit? Were we so hell bent on having that person want us, we were chasing unavailable love? Iâve done that more times than I want to admit. I was chasing the unavailable. I loved someone who didnât love me the way I wanted them to. I would try to not have the relationship fall apart. If they could only see how great life would be with me. The more I controlled, the more out of control the situation was. I truly said to God, âPlease help this person love me the way that I love them. Please help my kids to see it the way I see it.â Theyâre not going to. We canât control what people say about us. I donât know if this is too much, but Iâm going to say it. It was hard for Dave to hear the words that the haters were saying. The bullies. The cyberbullies. For someone to sit and listen and then spend their days attacking people they donât even know. Thereâs no life there. They have no life. I have empathy and compassion for them, for their sadness they must experience on a daily basis. I would never do that. I couldnât do that. Itâs not in my DNA. I have too much good in my life, but it was hard for Dave to understand the haters' sadness and misery. They did so much harm to his soul. They hurt him. He would often read what they said. They made fun of his nostrils, or the way he would say something, or something he did in one of my stories. He would then react and try to control it, trying to make them like him. He would shift. He tried to control these people who do not matter. The situation controlled him. For a while I did the same thing, and then I got to the point of saying, âWhat in the hell am I doing? Why am I letting these people tell me who I am?â I know there are more people out there who appreciate me, those are my people. We can all relate to that. Weâve all had haters. We try to control it. Surrendering is a result of a particular action, the action of letting go. When we donât, we are saying we are God, we are the universe. Our job is not to control the flow of the universe. Years ago, when I was married to Chris, my mom gave me a card that said, âWhat would you do without me? You would die without me.â It was a joke. I was a control freak. I am less now, Iâm trying to do better. All of us control freaks think that if we step back it will all fall apart. What happens if I canât control what Boy M does after high school? Or girl M? My employees are laughing right now, because itâs true. When Dave and I were doing the challenges, I was so busy. Iâm not sure if Dave was, I mean Iâm sure he was busy, too. I was a control freak. I had a wonderful, large army of people helping me achieve my goals. We had challenges, and education courses, and in-person events. We had to show up. We built an app. We had supplements. I was so busy and my level of control freakism was on another level. This was true from 2021 until Dave died. I would do team calls in the morning and afternoon. They were 2 hour calls, sometimes 2 and a half hour calls every morning and afternoon. I couldnât let my team work without me controlling them. It caused my anxiety attacks. Clearly this behavior affected my body physiologically. I couldn't get out of bed. I stayed in a dark room for a week. I was at a point that I didnât care if it all fell apart. A phone call would cause another panic attack. Whatâs interesting is that in my week away, my team thrived. I was a wrench in everyoneâs spokes. I learned that week that my job was to lead. Iâve grown so much over the last 2 years. When Dave died I stepped away for a month. I learned that when we step back the world is not going to fall apart. Nature is a rhythm. We canât control the universe. Our job is to ride the wave. When you go to the beach, watch the surfers. They donât control the waves, they read them and watch them, they wait, and then they paddle paddle paddle and catch the wave. They embrace the flow. Itâs the art of surrender. A quote from Untethered Soul, âGo outside on a clear night and just look up into the sky. Youâre sitting on a planet spinning around in the middle of absolutely nowhere. Though you can only see a few thousand stars, there are hundreds of billions of stars in our Milky Way Galaxy alone. Itâs estimated there are over a trillion stars in the galaxy. Youâre just standing on one little ball of dirt and spinning around one of the stars. From that perspective, do you really care what people think about your clothes or your car? Do you need to feel embarrassed if you forget someone's name? If you want a decent life, donât devote your life to avoiding psychological pain. What kind of life is that?â Do you feel that? Avoiding pain means itâs always right behind you. When we are controlling we are trying to avoid pain. Are you starting to see? This is reality. We are a blip in the universe. We need to find the flow, to relax, stop trying to drive, to manipulate, and to work. Iâm passionate and emotional about this. Now that you have all the feels, you have perspective. I want to make sure you learn what Iâm sharing and apply it. (Is this Heidi trying to control her listeners?) You probably finish this episode and think youâve got this. In 6 months youâre going to think back and realize what I really meant. Now I get it. I totally get it now. I want you to be grounded and confident that what youâve learned here will unfold exactly how it should unfold for you. I want to send you off with 3 ideas. How, how, how, how. How do we make it better? Remember that you are the main character in your own life. Write this down. (again, with the control) You are the main character in your life. We spend too much time doubting ourselves. I know I do. Remember youâre the main character in your life.(yes, she really says it 3x) At 2 years old you were told to stay in line, be quiet, watch your words, don't make anyone uncomfortable. We were trained to make people happy. We think we need to be good to get loved. We must expand our best parts. (That explains her booty workouts) I want this moment to be a hard reset moment in your life. (STOP TRYING TO CONTROL ME, HEIDI!) You can now begin to engage in a different way, beginning today. Donât watch from the sidelines. Show up for your life. Imagine a movie of your life. As the title credits go by and it fades, everything that happened before that fades away. After that moment, you decide who to become. The movie is about you and your development as a person. Now, letâs recap. You are the main character in your own life. (That 4x now) No longer will you do what other people want you to do. No longer is it about who you need to be to make someone happy. That was before. Now itâs about what makes you happy. (I thought this was about surrendering?) What will create the best life for you? What will help you achieve your highest self? You are the main character of your own life. (FIVE TIMES!!!) You are worthy. Iâm going to say it again. You are worthy. Carl Jung once said, âI am not what has happened to me.â Oooooo, actually, he said, âI am what I choose to become.â I might have this quote wrong. âI'm not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.â Weâve covered a lot of new ideas in the last 2 episodes and you probably have a lot of new things you want to do and implement into your life. Donât forget, youâre worthy. Your past doesnât define you. You are a beautiful soul. Youâre right where you are supposed to be. You are a divine creature. Like you, Iâm just figuring things out like everybody else. You are worthy. Do you understand me? Iâm saying this to you and to myself. You are worthy of love. Being you is enough. You are worthy. Now, write this on a post-it, I made a tshirt out of it. âThe universe has your address.â Thereâs a great quote, âMost things are out of our control.â Itâs not your job to make waves, itâs to ride the waves. Donât try to tell other surfers how to ride their waves (Literally what sheâs doing) Ride your own waves. Youâre probably super optimistic and excited and empowered after listening to me today. Youâre feeling all the feels. I am, too. Part of you is also like, holy crap, how do I remember all of this? When Iâm inspired, I have mixed feelings. Iâm downloading a lot of things that will change my life. You have mixed feelings. Youâre optimistic and youâre hearing me, and youâre like, I can do something about it. You listen to me and you get great tools. My guests give you great tools. How do you remember them all? How do you go back to daily life after being inspired? (She thinks sheâs so inspiring to me that I canât even function after listening to her?) Iâm a humongous believer that you are going to get from each interaction with me exactly what you are meant to get. This is where faith and trust come in. Trust that the universe has your address. God is there for you. Heâll help you get out of this what youâre meant to get out of it. Stop resisting. Not everythingâs a fight. Where are you resisting? Are you resisting giving that love to that person? Carl Jung said, âWhat we resist persists.â Paulo Coelho said, âWhen a person really desires something, all the universe conspires to help that person to realize her dream.â I want you to hear that again. âWhen you really desire something, all of the universe conspires to help her realize her dream.â The more you control, youâre getting in the way of God helping you make your dreams a reality. Get 3 post-it notes and put these things on your mirror. I have a long way to go, guys. I do. I have a lot of things I need to stop trying to control. It's increasingly harder (Shouldnât her tips here make it easier?) What my kids are going to be after they leave my house is a real struggle for me. I experienced as a kid myself a parent who loved me so much they controlled everything I did. It was control over me in an effort to love me. To make sure I didnât fall. That way of helping is like going to the gym and someone says, âLets build you up to lifting a 400 lb bench press.â That person is my spotter. If they keep lifting half of my load, so I donât get hurt, then I think I can lift 400 lbs. So when I go to the gym to lift 400 lbs without a spotter, the barbell crushes us. Iâm struggling to let go with my kids to do things on their own. Itâs not my job to always pick them up. Itâs not my job to create waves for my kids, but to love them on whichever waves they choose to ride. My job is to let go and trust that the universe and God have my address. I didnât get where I am today without my struggles. Iâm proud of who I am. My invitation to you is to go through your week and watch for how the universe will line up to make things happen for you. Be prepared to be amazed at how much peace and joy you feel. You can only control you. Let me say that again, You can only control you. You canât control the situation. Remember my 3 ideas: 1. You are the main character in your story (SIX TIMES!!!!!) 2. You are worthy. 3. The universe and God have your address. Next week sheâll have a really great guest for us. |
2024.05.13 21:22 Sola_Sista_94 Cookies 'n' Dreams: Parts Five and Six (Fanfic)
"Ahem...Cinnaswirl cookies! Get your Cinnaswirl cookies!" Kokichi practiced in his announcer voice. It was Saturday afternoon. Every Saturday and Sunday up until the week before the surprise field trip, Hope's Peak was opened for two hours for the students volunteering to sell cookies. The students who volunteered placed their stands throughout various parts of the academy. Sayaka and Hina set theirs up in the cafeteria, Shuichi and Kaede in the auditorium, Rantaro and Kirumi in the lobby, Himiko outside the front entrance of the building, and Kokichi in the gym.
Himiko unfolded a table and placed the two tin bowls of cookies on it. Above her, she hung a dull sign announcing her chocolate chip cookies were for sale. She wasn't proud of it, but it was the best she could do in thirty minutes before rushing off to sell her cookies.
"Himiko, you decided to sell cookies, too?" Kaede asked as she and Shuichi passed by her.
"Nyeh...yeah," Himiko mumbled.
"You're not selling them with Kokichi?" Kaede asked. "Are you two fighting?"
"No. It was Kokichi's idea to compete against each other," Himiko explained. "Boyfriend against girlfriend. He thought it would be something fun and different."
"Hm, that actually does sound like fun!" Kaede admitted. "Don't you think, Shuichi? I bet I could sell more cookies than you!"
"I guess it would be kind of fun," Shuichi agreed. "But, I prefer working together. I think I get things done better that way, rather than doing things on my own."
"Maybe we should try competing against each other at least once," Kaede said.
"Ah, well, I guess that would be okay," Shuichi said.
"Well, we should get going," Kaede said. "I hope you sell a lot of cookies, Himiko!" Shuichi looked doubtfully at Himiko's sign.
"Good luck, Himiko," he said with a polite smile.
"Nyeh...thanks. I'm gonna need it," Himiko muttered. With that, Kaede and Shuichi were gone, leaving Himiko to utter a discouraged sigh to herself. She looked up to see students approaching the school. Many saw but ignored her as they entered the building. Meanwhile, Kokichi had his first customer inside.
"Hey, Hiro!" Kokichi exclaimed with a devious grin. "You wanna buy some Cinnaswirl cookies?" Hiro looked at the cookies. Beautiful swirls of cinnamon designs were etched onto the cookies.
"Whoa! These look pretty sick!" Hiro exclaimed, picking a cookie up and examining it. "What are they exactly?"
"They're just regular, ol' cinnamon cookies," Kokichi replied, holding out a cookie to Hiro. "Go ahead! Try one for „500!" Hiro paid and bit into the cookie and chewed cautiously.
"Hey! These are actually...pretty..." Suddenly, he began panting. He fanned his mouth. "H-Hot! Why are...these cookies so...hot?!" He threw the cookie to the ground and fanned his face with both his hands. "WATER!! I, like...need water!!" He started running around in circles, hyperventilating.
"Hm? Water won't help," Kokichi said, then pulled out a giant jug of milk and poured some into a cup. "Try milk instead! That'll be another „500!" Hiro reached into his pockets to grab whatever amount of money he had.
"Here!! Just take it, or whatever!" he yelled and immediately reached for the milk, gulping it down. "I need more!"
"Soooorry..." Kokichi said, hiding the milk back under the table. "That was all the milk I had. Maybe you should go get some more at the convenience store! Make sure to exit out that way!" He pointed to the exit door of the gym that led right outside.
"Whatever woooorks!" Hiro cried, running out of the gym. Kokichi figured if Hiro left the school grounds through that door, he wouldn't be able to warn the other students who were already inside about his devil cookies. Grinning deviously, he counted the money. In his haste, Hiro had thrown him „3000, making a total of „3500.
"Nee-heehee...looks like I'm the Cookie Monster now!" Kokichi murmured with satisfaction.
***
Back at the front of the school, Himiko sat in silence, waiting for one customer to show up. She was half-relieved, half-disappointed to see Tenko, Angie, and Tsumugi walk up to her stand. They were basically her "pity friends."
"Oh, wow, Himiko! I didn't know you were selling cookies!" Tenko cried. "I bet they taste amazing!"
"What cookies do you have for us, Himiko?" Angie chirped. Himiko opened the tin bowls.
"Oh, my...they're just plain chocolate chip cookies," Tsumugi mumbled, feeling slightly disappointed.
"So? What's wrong with that?!" Tenko asked, frowning at Tsumugi.
"I'll bet they are delicious, Himiko!" Angie said.
"Nyeh...are you gonna buy any?" Himiko asked.
"Ooo, I will take this kind," Angie said, pointing to the soft chocolate chip cookies. Tenko glared at her.
"Well, I'll take the other cookies!" she said, pointing to the crunchy ones.
"That'll be „500," Himiko said. Angie paid and took a cookie.
"I'll give you „1000!" Tenko offered. "I am your best friend after all!"
"No, that's okay, Tenko," Himiko said, and Tenko reluctantly paid her the „500. The last thing Himiko wanted was pity money. It would only make her feel worse. She turned to Tsumugi. "Nyeh...are you gonna buy any, Tsumugi?"
"No..." Tsumugi answered quietly. "Sorry, Himiko. I may be plain, but I like for my cookies to not be so plain. No offense."
"WOOOOW!!! THESE COOKIES ARE AMAZING!!!" Tenko yelled. Then, she turned to Tsumugi. "How dare you not try Himiko's cookies, Tsumugi! They're the best cookies I've ever eaten! And I bet Himiko baked these all by herself like the talented mage she is!"
"No...I didn't," Himiko said.
"Well, you probably did most of the work, so that's why they taste so good!" Tenko exclaimed.
"Yeah, sure...whatever," Himiko muttered.
"These cookies are absolutely divine, Himiko!" Angie said. "Perhaps you had Atua's help in making them?"
"Of course she didn't, Angie!" Tenko said. "She doesn't need help from your god...if he even exists, anyways!"
"Nyeh...I didn't have help from Atua, Angie," Himiko answered. "I had help from other friends of mine."
"You have friends besides me, Himiko?!" Tenko cried in horror. "Wh-Who are they?!"
"Just friends," Himiko said. "Anyways, is that all?"
"Aaah! I don't have anymore money!" Tenko cried, checking her purse. "I-I need to go get a job! That way, I'll buy all of your cookies, Himiko!" Himiko sighed.
"I want other people to try my cookies, too, Tenko," she said.
"Have you had any other customers at all, Himiko?" Tsumugi asked. Himiko gulped and shook her head.
"Oh..." Tsumugi mumbled sympathetically.
"Well, I'm sure more customers will approach you, Himiko! Just give it time!" Angie said with an optimistic smile.
"Yeah! And if they don't, I'll be sure to get that job so I can buy all of your cookies!" Tenko said. The three girls wished Himiko good luck and waved goodbye. Himiko sighed forlornly. Having her friends buy all of her cookies only made her feel incompetent. As the afternoon wore on, she waited and waited for more customers, but none came. She hung her head dejectedly as a couple of tears forced their way down her cheek. Why had she even bothered?
Part Six
After two hours passed, Kokichi counted up the money he had made. Sifting through the last of his con money, he had made a total of „75000. He stuffed the money into his pocket and headed out to the front of the school, where Himiko was.
"Hey, Himiko! Look at all the money I made!" he exclaimed excitedly. "Nee-heehee...I got the most money from Byakuya! You should have seen the moment he bit into one of my cookies! He-...Wait, what are you doing?" Himiko was ripping up her sign in anger and sadness.
"I quit," she muttered. Kokichi stared at her.
"Why?" he asked. "How much did you make?"
"Not as much as you...just like I said would happen," Himiko answered bitterly. She clenched her fists as she tried to hold back tears. Kokichi went to the jar on her table and saw the total of „1000 from Tenko and Angie.
"I'm guessing that's from Tenko and Angie?" he said.
"Yeah," Himiko curtly replied.
"Himiko, you can just try again tomorrow," Kokichi pointed out.
"I'm not going to," Himiko said, throwing her sign into a nearby trashcan.
"So that's just it? You're going to give up...just like that?" Kokichi asked, frowning. Himiko couldn't contain her tears.
"Yes, Kokichi! Okay?!" she cried in frustration as she angrily wiped her tears. "I've humiliated myself enough, so I'm giving up!!" Kokichi firmly grabbed her hand and looked her in the eye.
"No, you're not, Himiko," he said. Himiko yanked her hand away.
"I don't care about this stupid competition anymore!" she yelled. "Just leave me alone!"
"This isn't about the competition anymore, Himiko," Kokichi said. "This is about you now!"
"Yeah, like, how I keep telling you that I can't do this stupid cookie sale, and I didn't wanna do this stupid cookie sale in the first place!" Himiko said.
"Then why did you do it, Himiko?!" Kokichi cried.
"Because...because...I'm an idiot, okay?!" Himiko sobbed. "I thought I'd be able to do this, but all I found out is that I'm a big, huge loser!"
"See, that's your problem right there!" Kokichi said in frustration. "That piss-poor attitude of yours is the reason for your failures, Himiko!" Himiko stared at him with a hurt expression. "I wanted to do this competition for fun, Himiko," Kokichi continued. "It's one thing if you didn't wanna do it because you didn't like the idea, or that it would have been better if we simply worked together, or something. I would have understood that. But the reason why you didn't want to do it is because you think so poorly of yourself that you don't think you're capable of doing anything! You seriously need to cut that out!" Himiko hung her head in shame.
"I don't know how," she wailed, balling her fists against her eyes in frustration and sadness. "Sometimes...I feel so...worthless! So...useless!" She looked at Kokichi with a tear-stained face. "I'm not smart or confident, or able to do things like you are." Kokichi sighed.
"Himiko, you have got to stop comparing yourself to me," he said firmly. "You're not me, and I don't expect you to be like me." He gripped her shoulders and looked her in the eye. "You're you. You're your own person. And you should be smart, confident, and capable of doing things your way." Himiko gasped as she sniffed and wiped her tears away. Kokichi sighed deeply. "Listen to me, Himiko, there might come a day when you and I might not be together anymore, whether it's because we broke up, or I died, or whatever. I want you to be able to stand on your own two feet without feeling helpless, or stuck, or too scared to do anything. I want it so that, if I'm not around, you'd be able to make it in this world on your own. And if you needed assistance, you could go to Tenko and Angie as friends, not as your caretakers who'll coddle you and hide you from the world. You can't hide from this world. Besides, what if something were to happen to them, too? Who would you turn to then?" Himiko shivered at the thought. "That's why I want you to stop thinking of yourself as some incompetent, dumb little girl, Himiko. That's not what you are. You are smart and you are capable. You just need to see it for yourself." Himiko nodded in response, tears still streaking down her cheeks. Kokichi wrapped his arms around her. Himiko laid her head against his chest as she continued to sob.
"I'm sorry, Kokichi," she said in a shaky whisper.
"Don't be," Kokichi said, giving her back a comforting rub. Then, he chuckled. "After all...a GiRl ShOuLdN't ApOlOgIzE sO EaSiLy," he said, mocking Kaito. Through her tears, Himiko laughed. Kokichi laughed along with her. Himiko looked up at him, smiling gratefully. Kokichi smiled back and softly kissed her forehead. "I love you, Himiko."
"I love you, too, Kokichi," Himiko sniffed. They gave each other a soft kiss on the lips. Now calm, Himiko laid her head against Kokichi's chest once again and squeezed him tighter, never wanting to let him go.
submitted by Sola_Sista_94 to danganronpa [link] [comments]
Himiko unfolded a table and placed the two tin bowls of cookies on it. Above her, she hung a dull sign announcing her chocolate chip cookies were for sale. She wasn't proud of it, but it was the best she could do in thirty minutes before rushing off to sell her cookies.
"Himiko, you decided to sell cookies, too?" Kaede asked as she and Shuichi passed by her.
"Nyeh...yeah," Himiko mumbled.
"You're not selling them with Kokichi?" Kaede asked. "Are you two fighting?"
"No. It was Kokichi's idea to compete against each other," Himiko explained. "Boyfriend against girlfriend. He thought it would be something fun and different."
"Hm, that actually does sound like fun!" Kaede admitted. "Don't you think, Shuichi? I bet I could sell more cookies than you!"
"I guess it would be kind of fun," Shuichi agreed. "But, I prefer working together. I think I get things done better that way, rather than doing things on my own."
"Maybe we should try competing against each other at least once," Kaede said.
"Ah, well, I guess that would be okay," Shuichi said.
"Well, we should get going," Kaede said. "I hope you sell a lot of cookies, Himiko!" Shuichi looked doubtfully at Himiko's sign.
"Good luck, Himiko," he said with a polite smile.
"Nyeh...thanks. I'm gonna need it," Himiko muttered. With that, Kaede and Shuichi were gone, leaving Himiko to utter a discouraged sigh to herself. She looked up to see students approaching the school. Many saw but ignored her as they entered the building. Meanwhile, Kokichi had his first customer inside.
"Hey, Hiro!" Kokichi exclaimed with a devious grin. "You wanna buy some Cinnaswirl cookies?" Hiro looked at the cookies. Beautiful swirls of cinnamon designs were etched onto the cookies.
"Whoa! These look pretty sick!" Hiro exclaimed, picking a cookie up and examining it. "What are they exactly?"
"They're just regular, ol' cinnamon cookies," Kokichi replied, holding out a cookie to Hiro. "Go ahead! Try one for „500!" Hiro paid and bit into the cookie and chewed cautiously.
"Hey! These are actually...pretty..." Suddenly, he began panting. He fanned his mouth. "H-Hot! Why are...these cookies so...hot?!" He threw the cookie to the ground and fanned his face with both his hands. "WATER!! I, like...need water!!" He started running around in circles, hyperventilating.
"Hm? Water won't help," Kokichi said, then pulled out a giant jug of milk and poured some into a cup. "Try milk instead! That'll be another „500!" Hiro reached into his pockets to grab whatever amount of money he had.
"Here!! Just take it, or whatever!" he yelled and immediately reached for the milk, gulping it down. "I need more!"
"Soooorry..." Kokichi said, hiding the milk back under the table. "That was all the milk I had. Maybe you should go get some more at the convenience store! Make sure to exit out that way!" He pointed to the exit door of the gym that led right outside.
"Whatever woooorks!" Hiro cried, running out of the gym. Kokichi figured if Hiro left the school grounds through that door, he wouldn't be able to warn the other students who were already inside about his devil cookies. Grinning deviously, he counted the money. In his haste, Hiro had thrown him „3000, making a total of „3500.
"Nee-heehee...looks like I'm the Cookie Monster now!" Kokichi murmured with satisfaction.
***
Back at the front of the school, Himiko sat in silence, waiting for one customer to show up. She was half-relieved, half-disappointed to see Tenko, Angie, and Tsumugi walk up to her stand. They were basically her "pity friends."
"Oh, wow, Himiko! I didn't know you were selling cookies!" Tenko cried. "I bet they taste amazing!"
"What cookies do you have for us, Himiko?" Angie chirped. Himiko opened the tin bowls.
"Oh, my...they're just plain chocolate chip cookies," Tsumugi mumbled, feeling slightly disappointed.
"So? What's wrong with that?!" Tenko asked, frowning at Tsumugi.
"I'll bet they are delicious, Himiko!" Angie said.
"Nyeh...are you gonna buy any?" Himiko asked.
"Ooo, I will take this kind," Angie said, pointing to the soft chocolate chip cookies. Tenko glared at her.
"Well, I'll take the other cookies!" she said, pointing to the crunchy ones.
"That'll be „500," Himiko said. Angie paid and took a cookie.
"I'll give you „1000!" Tenko offered. "I am your best friend after all!"
"No, that's okay, Tenko," Himiko said, and Tenko reluctantly paid her the „500. The last thing Himiko wanted was pity money. It would only make her feel worse. She turned to Tsumugi. "Nyeh...are you gonna buy any, Tsumugi?"
"No..." Tsumugi answered quietly. "Sorry, Himiko. I may be plain, but I like for my cookies to not be so plain. No offense."
"WOOOOW!!! THESE COOKIES ARE AMAZING!!!" Tenko yelled. Then, she turned to Tsumugi. "How dare you not try Himiko's cookies, Tsumugi! They're the best cookies I've ever eaten! And I bet Himiko baked these all by herself like the talented mage she is!"
"No...I didn't," Himiko said.
"Well, you probably did most of the work, so that's why they taste so good!" Tenko exclaimed.
"Yeah, sure...whatever," Himiko muttered.
"These cookies are absolutely divine, Himiko!" Angie said. "Perhaps you had Atua's help in making them?"
"Of course she didn't, Angie!" Tenko said. "She doesn't need help from your god...if he even exists, anyways!"
"Nyeh...I didn't have help from Atua, Angie," Himiko answered. "I had help from other friends of mine."
"You have friends besides me, Himiko?!" Tenko cried in horror. "Wh-Who are they?!"
"Just friends," Himiko said. "Anyways, is that all?"
"Aaah! I don't have anymore money!" Tenko cried, checking her purse. "I-I need to go get a job! That way, I'll buy all of your cookies, Himiko!" Himiko sighed.
"I want other people to try my cookies, too, Tenko," she said.
"Have you had any other customers at all, Himiko?" Tsumugi asked. Himiko gulped and shook her head.
"Oh..." Tsumugi mumbled sympathetically.
"Well, I'm sure more customers will approach you, Himiko! Just give it time!" Angie said with an optimistic smile.
"Yeah! And if they don't, I'll be sure to get that job so I can buy all of your cookies!" Tenko said. The three girls wished Himiko good luck and waved goodbye. Himiko sighed forlornly. Having her friends buy all of her cookies only made her feel incompetent. As the afternoon wore on, she waited and waited for more customers, but none came. She hung her head dejectedly as a couple of tears forced their way down her cheek. Why had she even bothered?
Part Six
After two hours passed, Kokichi counted up the money he had made. Sifting through the last of his con money, he had made a total of „75000. He stuffed the money into his pocket and headed out to the front of the school, where Himiko was.
"Hey, Himiko! Look at all the money I made!" he exclaimed excitedly. "Nee-heehee...I got the most money from Byakuya! You should have seen the moment he bit into one of my cookies! He-...Wait, what are you doing?" Himiko was ripping up her sign in anger and sadness.
"I quit," she muttered. Kokichi stared at her.
"Why?" he asked. "How much did you make?"
"Not as much as you...just like I said would happen," Himiko answered bitterly. She clenched her fists as she tried to hold back tears. Kokichi went to the jar on her table and saw the total of „1000 from Tenko and Angie.
"I'm guessing that's from Tenko and Angie?" he said.
"Yeah," Himiko curtly replied.
"Himiko, you can just try again tomorrow," Kokichi pointed out.
"I'm not going to," Himiko said, throwing her sign into a nearby trashcan.
"So that's just it? You're going to give up...just like that?" Kokichi asked, frowning. Himiko couldn't contain her tears.
"Yes, Kokichi! Okay?!" she cried in frustration as she angrily wiped her tears. "I've humiliated myself enough, so I'm giving up!!" Kokichi firmly grabbed her hand and looked her in the eye.
"No, you're not, Himiko," he said. Himiko yanked her hand away.
"I don't care about this stupid competition anymore!" she yelled. "Just leave me alone!"
"This isn't about the competition anymore, Himiko," Kokichi said. "This is about you now!"
"Yeah, like, how I keep telling you that I can't do this stupid cookie sale, and I didn't wanna do this stupid cookie sale in the first place!" Himiko said.
"Then why did you do it, Himiko?!" Kokichi cried.
"Because...because...I'm an idiot, okay?!" Himiko sobbed. "I thought I'd be able to do this, but all I found out is that I'm a big, huge loser!"
"See, that's your problem right there!" Kokichi said in frustration. "That piss-poor attitude of yours is the reason for your failures, Himiko!" Himiko stared at him with a hurt expression. "I wanted to do this competition for fun, Himiko," Kokichi continued. "It's one thing if you didn't wanna do it because you didn't like the idea, or that it would have been better if we simply worked together, or something. I would have understood that. But the reason why you didn't want to do it is because you think so poorly of yourself that you don't think you're capable of doing anything! You seriously need to cut that out!" Himiko hung her head in shame.
"I don't know how," she wailed, balling her fists against her eyes in frustration and sadness. "Sometimes...I feel so...worthless! So...useless!" She looked at Kokichi with a tear-stained face. "I'm not smart or confident, or able to do things like you are." Kokichi sighed.
"Himiko, you have got to stop comparing yourself to me," he said firmly. "You're not me, and I don't expect you to be like me." He gripped her shoulders and looked her in the eye. "You're you. You're your own person. And you should be smart, confident, and capable of doing things your way." Himiko gasped as she sniffed and wiped her tears away. Kokichi sighed deeply. "Listen to me, Himiko, there might come a day when you and I might not be together anymore, whether it's because we broke up, or I died, or whatever. I want you to be able to stand on your own two feet without feeling helpless, or stuck, or too scared to do anything. I want it so that, if I'm not around, you'd be able to make it in this world on your own. And if you needed assistance, you could go to Tenko and Angie as friends, not as your caretakers who'll coddle you and hide you from the world. You can't hide from this world. Besides, what if something were to happen to them, too? Who would you turn to then?" Himiko shivered at the thought. "That's why I want you to stop thinking of yourself as some incompetent, dumb little girl, Himiko. That's not what you are. You are smart and you are capable. You just need to see it for yourself." Himiko nodded in response, tears still streaking down her cheeks. Kokichi wrapped his arms around her. Himiko laid her head against his chest as she continued to sob.
"I'm sorry, Kokichi," she said in a shaky whisper.
"Don't be," Kokichi said, giving her back a comforting rub. Then, he chuckled. "After all...a GiRl ShOuLdN't ApOlOgIzE sO EaSiLy," he said, mocking Kaito. Through her tears, Himiko laughed. Kokichi laughed along with her. Himiko looked up at him, smiling gratefully. Kokichi smiled back and softly kissed her forehead. "I love you, Himiko."
"I love you, too, Kokichi," Himiko sniffed. They gave each other a soft kiss on the lips. Now calm, Himiko laid her head against Kokichi's chest once again and squeezed him tighter, never wanting to let him go.
2024.05.13 21:19 CollarVivid1722 Suddenly single at 31 and feeling devastated
I know there are likely many posts similar to mine, but I really feel like I could use the support and want to tell my own story.
I've been dating by boyfriend (37M) for about a year and a half. He told me we were on the same page about wanting a family, marriage, etc and it felt like we were progressing in the relationship. About 3 months ago he went to another city for a month for business - I was excited for him and told him I supported his decision. He kept extending his stay by two week increments. Finally, I told him that I was confused about when he is coming back and hurt that he isn't including me in his decision making process. He then proceeded to tell me that he's really happy in this new city and while he will probably come back someday, he can't tell me when. I was shocked. It feels like the floor has fallen out from under me. I told him that I feel like he just wants me to wait around for him to figure out his life and whether I fit into it. He didn't fight for the relationship at all and we broke up.
I'm devastated - I loved him. I thought we were on the same page. I want kids. I know I'm running out of time. At the same time, I can't imagine opening up and becoming vulnerable to another person at this time. But again, I'm running out of time. I'm hurt and I'm worried that the next guy will string me along in the same way. It took me two years of using dating apps to find someone I liked as much as him - what if it takes me as long or longer this time? What if I never find another guy? What if the next guy wastes my time? I feel deep shame at wasting so much "important" time (early 30s feels really crucial for women who want kids and aren't in serious relationships) but also find myself constantly thinking about how much I miss him and how I can't believe this is over. I'm really struggling.
submitted by CollarVivid1722 to BreakUps [link] [comments]
I've been dating by boyfriend (37M) for about a year and a half. He told me we were on the same page about wanting a family, marriage, etc and it felt like we were progressing in the relationship. About 3 months ago he went to another city for a month for business - I was excited for him and told him I supported his decision. He kept extending his stay by two week increments. Finally, I told him that I was confused about when he is coming back and hurt that he isn't including me in his decision making process. He then proceeded to tell me that he's really happy in this new city and while he will probably come back someday, he can't tell me when. I was shocked. It feels like the floor has fallen out from under me. I told him that I feel like he just wants me to wait around for him to figure out his life and whether I fit into it. He didn't fight for the relationship at all and we broke up.
I'm devastated - I loved him. I thought we were on the same page. I want kids. I know I'm running out of time. At the same time, I can't imagine opening up and becoming vulnerable to another person at this time. But again, I'm running out of time. I'm hurt and I'm worried that the next guy will string me along in the same way. It took me two years of using dating apps to find someone I liked as much as him - what if it takes me as long or longer this time? What if I never find another guy? What if the next guy wastes my time? I feel deep shame at wasting so much "important" time (early 30s feels really crucial for women who want kids and aren't in serious relationships) but also find myself constantly thinking about how much I miss him and how I can't believe this is over. I'm really struggling.