I'm learning a lot about Buddhism right now just because I'm interested in it and it's been helpful in my mental health journey. A lot of the ideas are great tools and things I hadn't considered before. Hopelessness, compassion, the temporary nature of life, etc are all really insightful and make me view life differently. There's something about accepting impermanence that is such a huge relief. It gives words to many of the thoughts and feelings I've always had. But then there's also things I don't necessarily resonate with, such as the non-self and reincarnation. I notice that something in me is extremely resistant to some of these ideas. Almost like I view it as fact and that makes it painful to consider.
It's really hard for me to accept that I dislike parts of Buddhism for myself, even though I'm not trying to become Buddhist. I think it might be because I appreciate and believe so much about it, that it's hard not to also absorb the parts that are scary to me. Namely I find it unsettling to consider my self as unimportant because I have already put so much time and care into cultivating and loving who I am.
Ironically this is a great time to use the tools I do like and acknowledge/sit with these uncomfortable feelings, but I'm still just beginning to learn how to do that. I want to examine these feelings with curiosity and openness although that is surprising difficult!
What would you tell someone who benefits from parts of Buddhism but doesn't plan to be Buddhist? How do I accept and let go of the fact that it's okay to not relate to everything?

Three weeks ago I said goodbye to my first true love. We’re no contact, it would be too painful for both of us to keep in touch (for now), but all I do is think about him. I was studying abroad, he lived where I was studying. We both went into it wanting something casual, but even though we both knew things would have to end quite soon, we fell extremely hard for each other. I’ve dated and slept with other guys before, but he was my first true love. We were hardly together three months, so I know it ended before the “honeymoon period” was over, but it was one of the best times of my life and I will always remember him with love.
I prepared for the very likely possibility that we would never see each other again. It was devastating, but now I have a new conundrum: the very real possibility that we will see each other again in half a year. I’m considering enrolling in a language course at my uni that involves a month long trip to the city where I was studying. This is the last time I’ll have the opportunity to learn a language in this way, and I did really love the city and talked about returning for grad school. And having a second language is advantageous for further education and jobs. But the idea of going to his city for a month, seeing him again or not, is killing me.
Of course I want to see him again. During our relationship we always talked about reconnecting as friends if we ever ended up somewhere near each other. But now that the possibility is imminent, I’m scared. I know I could just not let him know I’ll be there, but I do want to see him. I’m just scared that I’ll want to do something casual in the time I’m there and get hurt by leaving him all over again. I’m scared that seeing him with another girl would make me come to terms with things I don’t have to be faced with because I’m overseas and have his social media blocked. I’m scared by both the possibilities that he still has the lock of hair I gave him and my poetry up on his walls, or that he took them down. I’m scared that seeing him again would ruin the poetry of our final, in love, airport goodbye.
Most of all I’m scared that I subconsciously want to have some possibility of getting back together. Would seeing him again, taking this notoriously intense language class during my senior year, looking into grad school there, changing my whole life around, just be a way of maintaining a painful limerence for a man who I only dated for two and a half months? I really hope not. As much as I miss him and wish we could be together, I really do want to get get over him. As much as I secretly wish he would upend his whole life and drop out of school to come live with me in America, I know that’s just stupid, unhealthy, freshly broken-up fantasy.
I know that seeing someone you used to love as a friend is always a little painful. And I know everyone is different in their capacity to let go and move on, but this is my first true heartbreak and I'm afraid that I'm secretly just signing myself up to get majorly hurt. Six months is both a short and a long time aways, so who knows how I'll feel about us by then. If this course didn't involve the trip I would sign up in a heartbeat. Am I making a good choice by taking it? Would I be missing out by deciding not to take it only out of fear of seeing him again?

Hey everyone! Sorry for the long wait, the story is not abandoned, I just got a bit lost in other stuff and have fallen out with the world of NoP a bit. I will continue the story, through I can't promise a new chapter every month.
On another note, I am quite proud of this chapter, this is definetly my favourite one, and I enjoyed expanding on Velnils past and mental health. (And tormenting him, of course. Nah, just joking. xD)
Thank you for creating this beautiful universe!
Also thanks to for proofreading!
Criticism is very much welcome, let me know what you think!
Enjoy!
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Memory transcription subject: Velnil, Arxur deserter Date [standardized human time]: 25th of October, 2136, Middle of the night
CW: panic attack, hallucination, self harm
[Note: Dream state detected. Reliving memory. Proceed? (Y/N)]
[Y]
The cold seeped deep into Velnil’s scales as he trudged up the hidden path of the forest, up onto a small hill where a single, just barely alive tree stood still. There was no wind, no new smells and no sound. It was calm, eerily calm, forcing Velnil to periodically stop and look around, seeing if anyone had followed him.
Every time, there was nothing. It was just the empty forest, filled with dying trees and withered bushes. There were a few animal bones here and there sticking out of the ground, but he did not care enough to spare a glance at them.
As he ascended higher and higher on the small hill, he felt as his breathing slowly returned to normal from the usually used powerful intakes and blowouts. He took a slow, deep breath, as he arrived at the tree, letting the cold air run into his lungs, and calming down his beating heart. He was here again. The only question was if he was really alone or not.
“Frostbubble, are you there?” He asked, almost in a whisper as he looked around, moving towards the tree. It still felt strange to use this nickname, but if it kept her safe and happy, he was more than glad to use it.
“Aww, you did come, Velny.” The voice was almost sickeningly sweet for Velnil’s ears, but he knew it was because of everything he had been learning. The warmth in his chest was just another proof to it, as he noticed her lanky shadow climb down from the tree, keeping a small bag up with her tail as she did so. He felt a slight blush creep onto his face as she hopped down, and quickly approached him.
“How have you been? I hope they didn’t manage to rough you up too badly this time.” The care in her voice made Velnil shutter and relax at the same time, as her hand landed on his arm, caressing the scar he had first received for insubordination.
He was four back then.
“No. I’m okay, Zar… Frostbubble.” More warmth filled his chest at her wide toothed smile. “They didn’t get me this time. I managed to trick them.”
“So clever and cunning, Velny.” Her grating chuckle, while repulsive to his ears, was music to his heart. He felt a soft pressure on his hand as she took it, and began leading him to the other side of the tree, facing away from the facility, and out towards the dying wilderness. The view has always filled him with dread, seeing as nature had slowly withered away with his feelings, only to eventually be replaced by even more factories and facilities. It was truly as if the planet felt his pain, his suffering as he was slowly broken down, only to be replaced by the ideals and will of Betterment.
They sat down on the ground, neither of them caring about the cold, as they leaned back a bit, looking up at the night sky. Everything was so calm, yet Velnil couldn’t keep himself from looking around, listening for any noise that could tell him they were not alone.His anxiety only grew, until he felt a soft touch on his chin. He let his head be turned back towards her.
Her smile was horrible(line through) beautiful. The shine of her eyes as she looked at him so calmly, like they weren’t in constant danger of being found out and killed. It angered him, but at the same time, it filled him with a strange feeling. It was still so alien to him, he never felt it before, only when he was with her.
“We are safe here, Veln. Don’t worry so much about it. I am always watching and also making sure that no one is following you. You don’t need to turn around that often. Let yourself relax a bit.” It didn’t make any sense. How could he relax? They were out and about without the knowledge of the masters, they were going against the rules.
She is not even supposed to be here. She was never in the facility.
He opened his mouth, but couldn’t say anything as she closed it, playfully flicking one of her claws on his snout. He shook his head, incredulous about what just happened.
“I know that look, Velny. Relax, just for this once.” As she leaned forward, his heart rate spiked, the alien feeling shooting up like fire as warmth filled his face at the feeling of her nuzzling his snout. He leaned towards her, eyes half-lidded as he felt his muscles relax ever so slightly. Perhaps Zartha is right. He could relax with her, and not be on the lookout for any danger that may be around them.
“Maybe… maybe you are right, Frostbubble.” He mumbled, his eyes closing momentarily as his snout moved to rub at her throat, with a sharp intake of air coming from her.
“Veln, I…” Zartha stopped for a few seconds, prompting Velnil to lean back a bit to look at her. She looked… troubled? Unsure? No, it was something else. Her eyes fluttered while looking all around, as if searching for danger, but they always returned to him, at which point she flicked with her tailtip, until it snagged at her satchel.
“I made something for you.” Velnil cocked his head as he watched her pull out a thermos, quickly unscrewing its top. He watched as steam rose from the thermos, filling the air with a sweet scent, creating an even more serene atmosphere.
“It’s Trilltilla tea. It took a long time, but I wanted to make it for you.” Velnil watched as she presented the top part of the thermos for him. Slowly reaching out, he took hold of it, their hands touching as their eyes met. The shining in her eyes, the way her irises grew, her tail that wagged more and more. He was sure she felt the same strange feeling he felt, as his tail wagged as well, albeit slowly.
He then took hold of it properly, lifting it up to drink. There was no need to say thanks. She knew he was thankful for it.
“So, this is where you have been sneaking off.” Velnil jumped up and whipped around, the top of the thermos falling to the ground as its contents spilled. Next to the tree stood his master, with two burly arxur standing on either of his side. The scowl on his master's face told him everything. They saw everything, the two of them have been found out.
It was over for them.
Zartha slowly stood up, to which one of the arxur moves so quickly to her, it was almost a blur. A painful yelp came from her as she was punched in the gut, tumbling forward, but she wasn’t allowed to fall to the ground. The arxur kept her up, while his master and the other moved in.
“So, you must be Zartha. I have heard quite a lot of you. A disgrace to our kind, really.” His master’s voice was full of contempt. Velnil didn’t dare to speak, nor did he dare to move, lest he might lose his head.
Or worse…
“I’m no disgrace. The only disgrace here is how you trea-” She wasn’t allowed to finish. Master didn’t allow her. The arxur holding her punched her again, forcing the air out of her lungs.
“Tssk. Such a waste of resources. This one is unfixable.” As his master’s eyes landed on him, Velnil felt himself freeze under the glare. “But you will still be redeemed, boy. Oh, you will be. I will make sure of that. You are allowed to return to your dwelling, at this instant.” His heart didn’t want to, but his mind knew he must move. Velnil’s legs, almost like he was on auto-pilot, moved, one after the other, as he began making his way down. He heard as his master turned to address the other arxur.
“Find its father and wipe its disgrace off this world. Then find its mother, and make sure that woman brings a proper arxur into this world.” An acknowledging grunt was the only answer.
The cold seeped deep into Velnil’s scales as he made his way down the hill, the warmth escaping, leaving him with a cold, painful pressure on his rumbling stomach that yearned for her tea.
But it will never feel its warmth.
~~~
Growling, and pressure on his stomach was what woke Velnil up. On instinct, he striked with his right arm, his sharp claws swiping at nothing. His head swiveled around, with no need for his eyes to adjust to the darkness of the night, trying to find whatever was threatening him.
There was nothing.
Velnil began to work on calming his breathing as he tried to listen, focusing on the nightly sounds of the forest, seeing if he can hear the soft running of paws, or the strong thumps of human legs.
Again, there was nothing.
With a grumble, he rolled onto all fours, sniffing around and looking for any clues on what might have growled and pawed at him.
The sound repeated itself, this time however, Velnil felt the painful clamps of his stomach as it rumbled loudly, seemingly discontent with the lack of food inside of it. With the realization that he is just hungry - very much so -, Velnil got into a bipedal stance, and began making his way towards the farm.
Looking around as much as he could see of the sky, it must have still been well into the night. He could have just checked it on his holopad, but then his eyes would have to adjust to the dark again, and he would possibly give away his location - after all, he could never know if something or someone was watching him.
The night was annoyingly cold, but it was nothing like what he had to survive during his training. It molded him, made him stronger, able to ignore the cold seeping into his bones and keep on going.
He always had to keep going.
He promised it.
Velnil didn’t know how long he was walking when another rumble left his stomach, this time however, his mouth began to water at the enticing smell his nostrils had caught. It was a familiar smell, divine even, and the bigger breath he took, the more it filled his being, as the picture practically smashed itself into his mind.
Krakotl.
Yumm.
Dropping onto all fours, he made his way towards the source of the smell, taking great care to avoid stepping on a branch, or making any noise that might give away his position. He froze, and silently cursed himself at another rumble of his stomach. Do you want to be filled or not?! If so, be silent!
His stomach did not respond. Good.
Continuing to stalk forward, the smell started to become stronger as the wind carried it to him. Reaching another, much smaller clearing, he hid inside one particularly big bush, easily seeing out of it.
There, in the gentle moonlight kneeled a young, healthy looking krakotl. Its feathers reflected the moonlight beautifully, and he could make out some kind of red pattern on the otherwise greenish plumage that covered it. From scent alone he could tell that it was a female, possibly the same age, or maybe older than he was.
It was just the right age. He could feel himself salivating as he watched it do something, it had its back to him, he could jump out and just get it!
His muscles tensed as he prepared himself, but a sudden thought of realization of where he was exactly forced him to stop, tensing up even more as to not jump. Just then, the krakotl leaned back up, revealing what it had been doing.
Velnil felt himself recoil a bit at the sight of the familiar flower. How did the krakotl get it here?! Who even allowed it to plant that? Why…?
The slits of his eyes slowly rounded out as he watched the light of the moon shine onto the flower, prompting it to slowly unfurl, revealing five sickly green colored petals, with a bright blue colored inside. Velnil felt himself lowering onto the ground, his eyes becoming blurry - but why?
Reaching up, he felt something wet in his eye - tears. He was… crying? Why was he…
It is what she used to make tea for you that day. The memory hit him like a plasma bolt. The flower - Triltilla, or Lover’s poison as some used to call it, was a rare flower from the krakotl turned arxur colony world. Interestingly, the prey was the one that came up with the nickname for the flower - it was said that when the lover made tea from the petals, it’s effect depended on the care that was put into it - the petals had to be cleaned from any pollen, then cured and dried for the right amount of time, which was then followed by making the tea. If the maker of the tea put the proper care to it, it worked as sort of a love potion - it helped with maternity and helped the mates bond.
But if even the slightest mistake was made, if the maker wasn’t careful enough, the pollen, or not drying it for the proper amount of time greatly changed its effect - causing severe pain for whoever drank the tea, and in some cases, even death.
It was dumb. Of course it was, it came from a prey infested world that was cleansed by his ancestors!
And yet, that single flower was one of her favorites. He never truly understood why, but of course, how could he.
He was well into his training back then. He saw it as her weakness. One of her oh so many flaws that plagued her ability to live as a proper arxur.
Oh, because you always lived as a proper arxur? Came the sudden response to his thoughts, feeling another pang of pain from his stomach as he once again wiped a tear from his face. He forced back down a slight growl as he looked back up at the prey, his tongue running over his lips as he kneaded the ground beneath his paws. He wanted to to jump out, to strike, to once again taste his favorite food.
Could he really kill through?
A third, this time much louder rumble had escaped his stomach, it seemed this time the prey had heard it.
“Hello?” The prey’s head whipped around, staring at his general direction, as her soft trilling voice rang out. “Is anyone there?” Another question rang out, it sounded so young, and yet, he watched as his prey’s eyes slowly went over her surroundings, forcing Velnil to slightly pull back, and close his eyes until there was only a slight line visible.
As he imagined how it would taste, his tongue running over his lips, the krakotl took a tentative step forward, eyes still scanning the treeline.
“Lia, is that you?” As Velnil finally got over the fight inside his head, his hunger slowly winning, he prepared to pounce, his eyes opening more ever so slightly as his claws dug into the dirt a bit.
“Aw, damn it. How did you know?” Once again, Velnil almost stumbled out of his hiding spot as a sudden voice came from somewhere to his right. He watched as the prey turned their head towards the voice, as Velnil barely held back an angry hiss at the appearance of a female human.
The woman, referred to as ‘Lia’ seemed to be around [180cm] in height, as she made her way over to the krakotl with surprising silence. Light brown hair flowed down her back, tied into a ponytail. Similarly to other humans, she was also wearing fake pelts, with surprisingly light colored blue jeans and light green shirt.
For a second, Velnil wondered how the human does not shiver from the cold, but his mind quickly wound up with another question: how in the twisted wriss does she hunt in such light clothes? What other thing could she do here at a time like this?
“I didn’t. You scared the… Why are you even here?” The krakotl puffed its feathers up as it turned its head to its side to glare at the predator in front of it. Albeit the body language of the prey showed slight alarm and trepidation, its voice was surprisingly calm, maybe even reproachful. The human seemed to also take note of its voice, putting up her hands as she looked at the prey.
“Oh, I’m sorry miss ‘I go for a walk into the forest in the middle of the night’”. At this, the krakotl seemed to deflate, lowering their head a bit, but not for long, as the human stepped up to them, and brought their head back up with what he assumed was a gentle touch. “I just woke up to being cold, and after waiting a bit, and looking and not finding you, I became worried. Besides, what do you expect if my living, breathing blanket suddenly disappears?” The human chuckled, which was soon joined by the prey's own chuckling, extending a wing to strike at the human.
“Oh, hush, you! It’s not my fault your only protection is your strange pelts! Plus, why are you not wearing anything else, aren’t you cold?” A slight worry in its tone was sickening to listen to, as Velnil continued to watch the two interact, until the human female suddenly stopped, snapping their head towards his direction, accommodated by a cracking sound, which was then followed by the woman groaning, and massaging their neck.
“Shit.. That hurt…” She mumbled. Both the prey and Velnil seemed to jump slightly at the sudden movement, albeit for different reasons. As the prey started worrying over the human, Velnil pulled back even more, laying completely flat on the cold ground as his heart beat even faster. Impossible, this is impossible! The wind is coming from their direction, I was as silent as a night stalker, how could she know I’m here?!
His question wasn’t left unanswered, which confused him greatly.
“Are you okay? What was that?” Asked the krakotl for the third time, thankfully silenced by the human.
“Nothing, nothing, I just… I thought someone was looking at me. I could feel whatever it was.” At the answer, the krakotl tilted its head in confusion, clicking its beak a few times in contemplation.
“You… felt something staring at you? But… how? Aren’t you humans… you know?” The meek thing shrunk a bit again, but was quickly calmed by the human, who ran their hand over their back.
“Eh, it’s hard to explain, and it’s quite late. Let’s just say that sometimes we just get this… feeling of being watched. I have to say, it wasn’t the best idea to come out here without a flashlight, now that I think about it. This place gives me the creeps.” The human seemingly shuddered as she looked around, while the prey looked even more confused.
Before it could say anything however, the human sighed, and turned back to the krakotl.
“Anyways, we should probably head back, Suyla. I heard that tomorrow we will have a… not so good surprise. So we should probably, at the very least, get well rested.” At this, the krakotl seemed to realize something, as they huddled closer to the human, looking around with fear.
“Do you think that it’s… here?” It asked, its voice quivering a bit as the human put their hands on its back, trying to calm the prey.
“Well, I saw Rich arrive, so he must be already here somewhere.” At this point Velnil realized they were talking about him, and he held back a growl once again. He watched as the human led his catch away, leaving him with an empty stomach and an even sourer mood.
“NoT sO gOod SuUrPRisE..” Velnil mimicked mockingly, growling to himself after the human and his food left, grabbing and squeezing a handful of earth as he sulked. This is so dumb, as if the humans would be any better! They are weak and pathetic predators! Even he could take on a few of them! Probably.
Yeah, and you would get yourself killed. And prove them right.
Whatever! He thought to himself with a rumble. It’s not like I care about what they think.
Of course you don’t. Otherwise you would have to accept you are a-
Silence! Growled Velnil as he shook his head. For a few moments, he waited for a reply, but when it didn’t arrive, he raised his chin smugly.
He was about to get up to be on his way when he heard some rustling in front of him. Looking up, he noticed something that looked a lot like a sivkit, except it was wrong in almost every aspect, except for its eyes. He watched the animal approach the newly planted flower, and Velnil scoffed as the animal began to sniff at it.
Dumb prey. You don’t even know what that is, and you just approach it. As Velnil watched the animal, his eyes widened, and time seemed to slow down as he saw it open its mouth.
Oh no, you won’t. With a growl, he sprung from his hiding spot, his maw opening wide with razor sharp teeth as he caught the prey just before it could turn and run.
The metallic taste was a welcome sensation.
~~~
Velnil hummed a low tune for himself as he was walking back to his clearing, his hunger somewhat satiated as he let the cold air fill his lungs to their capacity. With his hunger sated for the foreseeable few hours, he could think a bit more clearly about his situation.
This place looked nothing like a farm. At least, not how a cattle farm would look like, but even those places had parts where they grew prey food to feed the cattle.
So if the humans are not going to keep cattle on this farm, apart from the alien one, why grow so much on such a big area? He knew humans can eat prey food, as revolting of a thought it was, they all could just eat more meat. Do they really care that much about the walking and talking prey that they don’t eat meat because of them?
Bah. Of course they care about their cattle. That way they won’t run away.
Though, the more he thought about it, the less sense it made. Do they really not eat the alien cattle that are here? Albeit he only just arrived, the animals didn’t seem to be scared at all. That woman - Lia, was his name, if he remembered correctly - even went out into the cold night to find her feathered ‘friend’.
Growling softly, he shook his head, banishing the line of thought to the back of his mind. He didn’t need to think about this - it was useless when it came to his survival. He knew the humans would do anything to save cattle - even if said cattle bombed them. If it needs to be, he can always take one as a hostage, and on the other hand - he probably could still get at least one of the prey riled up enough to attack him.
That will be spectacular.
But what else could he do? There was one saying he saw on a human website that described his current position quite nicely - He was a wolf among sheep. A wolf in sheep’s clothing. He had to get them to lower their guards, to not view him as a threat, but rather, one of those weak useless arxur who cannot do anything right.
Oh, you have experience in that, don’t worry.
“Shut. Your. Mouth.” He hissed to himself, stopping in his tracks as he looked forward. His arms shook slightly, but he forced his hands into fists to stop it.
What’s the matter, Velnil? Forgot about me so quickly? You hurt my - sorry -, our feelings.
“I said shut up!” Growling filled the air as Velnil leaned forward, the shaking moving to his shoulders.
Why should I? We are no longer in the Dominion. Betterment can’t get a hold of us. We are free.
“We are not free… We will never be.” growled Velnil suddenly turning to swiftly strike at a tree. He winced from the pain shooting through his right hand, but he didn’t care. He didn’t want to feel. He shouldn’t feel anything.
But we are. We ran away, fooled the humans, fooled their prey. We could go where we want. Or stay here. Live a new-
“This is NOT my home!” Velnil yelled. “This will never be. I am not free, just a damned prisoner of another species! I can never be as free as I want to be!”
And what would you call being free? Not like you would know it, of course. I can see it, after all. You know nothing about being free. You are just-
“Shut up! Shutupshutupshutup!” Velnil yelled as he began hitting his head against the tree, each time his body shaking in pain while the tree stood steadfast.
Unmoving.
Uncaring.
Emotionless.
With tears in his eyes, he slunk down against the tree, his breathing fast and uneven. The shadows danced around him, waiting in silence, waiting to pounce on his weak form. The sounds of the night sky became howls of predators, the ground further ahead opened up, the rotten, clawed hand of an arxur suddenly appearing at the edge of it, pulling it’s body up, revealing a set of familiar yellow eyes.
“V-veeeeelniiiilll” Groaned her corpse as she pulled herself up, taking a step closer. His breathing fastened as his eyes were trained not on her head, but her torn open neck.
“No… No… I- I didn’t…” His whines were left unanswered as her corpse took another step towards him, an arm reaching out as one of her eyes fell out, leaving the empty socket as a void to peer into and devour his weak soul.
“I didn’t want to!” He yelled, trying to crawl away, but the tree behind him didn’t let him. “I never wanted to! I-I-I wanted to keep you safe, but I-”
“Veeeeeel-” The corpse sighed out, before taking in a shallow breath - her torn open throat moving along with the action, opening to let air in, before she continued. ”-nyy.” Another step, then as he blinked, she was standing over him. A startled whine left him as he scooted back even more, pressing against the tree as she reached out.
“I’m sorry! I’m so fucking sorry, I wanted to save you, I did!” He screamed hiding away behind his arms as he shouted one last thing: “I loved you!”.
As he shrunk back even more, his breath slowed, his head became woozy as soon his consciousness began to slip away, hearing her speak one last time.
“Veeeeeelnnnyy.”
~~~
Velnil came back to consciousness with a start, head rapidly turning around as his breath hitched, until pain shot through his head. With a wince, he pulled himself up, gingerly touching his head - his scales were damaged, and blood was dried on his head. He winced slightly as pain shot through both his head and right hand.
Shit. They will definitely notice this… He thought to himself as he took a ragged breath. He looked where the hole had appeared - there was nothing, the ground was undisturbed. His gaze lingered on it, before he eventually turned, and continued to make his way towards his clearing, still in the darkness of the night, like nothing had happened.
It has been so long since the last one. Why now? Why is she tormenting me? His questions were left unanswered. He forced himself to stop, and after taking a deep breath, he looked around, listening for any nearby river or something. Sniffing around, he could feel the smell of water off in the distance, and so, he began making his way there.
I need to wash off the blood.
Within a few minutes, he had found a large river, the water flowing down with relative force. Kneeling down at its edge, he leaned forward, and began cleaning his head and hand with practiced, almost robotic movements. The proof of his weakness stinged and flared up at the cold touch of water, but he did not care. He watched as the water slowly took on a red hue, before disappearing down the river.
Within another few minutes, Velnil could easily make out the outline of the injury - it wasn’t too big, but it was most definitely noticeable, and will take days - if not a few weeks - to properly heal. He could hide it, since he was still somewhat bigger than everyone else - but then that would go against his plan on appearing meek and unsure about things.
Maybe I could use it. Play it off as having a bad night. Maybe I could get them to give me more food than they planned. The humans are very empathetic, I’m sure that after seeing this, they would feel bad enough for me to somewhat drop their guard. Maybe I can even fool some of the prey. Yes, that, being attacked by one should be enough for them to not view me as a threat.
Satisfied with the plan, Velnil got back up, and with a sigh and a few minutes of walking, he finally made his way back to the clearing. Lying down on the cold ground, he carefully rested his head atop his bag once again, looking at nothing in particular.
His next few minutes were filled with rolling around, unable to go back to sleep, as his thoughts were slowly but surely going back to the krakotl he saw. The green feathers, adorned by a red pattern, its yellow beak, and similarly yellow eyes.
Yellow eyes that stared deep into his soul.
The yellow eye that has fallen out of its socket, to leave an empty void to devour his soul.
Velnil forced his eyes shut, turning around again. Not again. He thought, forcing himself to think of other things - the taste of the prey animal he caught, his way towards Earth, the russif.
Eventually, within a gruesome few minutes, Velnil was finally granted the sweet release of sleep.
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Apparently someone has found another way to hurt and offend people for no reason. Here is a heads up for everyone. There is a new hack on Facebook. It includes a hurtful phrase coming from you. It is usually very dirty and appears that you have written it. You will NOT see it, but your friends will. This creates many misunderstandings. So to all of my contacts, if anything shocking, inappropriate, or indecent ever appears on my timeline, please know it did NOT come from me. They can also take your pics. You may wish to copy this to your wall. Thanks and if you see something that seems wrong please let me know!!
WARNING EVERYBODY: New hackers on Facebook and what they write is aggression from you and it's insulting. It's really nasty and it appears to come from you. You do not see it, but your friends do. One result of this can be that you will be deleted on your friends list. I just want to say, if you get something that is offensive, malicious, vulgar, etc., it is ABSOLUTELY NOT from me! Copy this and let your friends know. If you get anything like this from me, please tell me and report it immediately to Facebook. Apparently it can come in messages too. Everyone knows me and knows how I am, so please don't be fooled! PLEASE do NOT share! "COPY AND PASTE" ONLY!

I, a fat 28F, am worried this new relationship with 28M is too good to be true? Lots of red flags
I lost my father in December, and I’ve been told it’s a red flag that I jumped into a relationship so fast, or that he jumped into one with me. He was in a 4 year relationship with someone he’s had a friendship with for 10 years and a relationship with for 4, up until January. Who he was still talking to as of February 15. Yes, I have proof of ALL of this.
Our relationship is only two/three months old. He said I love you 3 weeks in, and has been all over me, posting me on social media, and spending every moment with me. He seems very into my body, he loves that I cook for him, he loves having sex with me, and seems very into me. He calls me his love, and posted me on his social media for the first time this weekend. I’ve never been posted so quickly by someone, ever.
I found out recently, from both him and two VERY reliable sources, that he’s into plus size p**n. His mom is also fat, and he HATES his mother. Seems to have deep rooted mommy issues. His mom cheated on his dad, and his mom kind of caused a divide in his family.
I found out he also was in a 4 year relationship with someone not plus sized, who he was having sex with and telling her he loved her in February, and they only broke up in January. They were very serious. There was no cheating, and he broke up with her at the peak of his addiction. I fear it was out of shame/impulse
In his relationship 7 years ago, he punched a wall, and she kicked him out, after he was living with her and not paying for anything.
I also found out he was apparently horrible to his post recent ex, who is NOT plus sized, towards the end. He threatened to hit her and even put a dent in her car.
He has a history of sex, gambling, p*rn, weed, and alcohol ; but he has claimed to only smoke weed now and has “stopped” gambling after having gambled for 7 years. He has no life savings.
I am just feeling like there’s potential I’m the rebound, and that this is some sort of ego grab and sex thing for him. I do a lot of motherly things for him, like cook and take care of him; and I feel like that combined with his fat fetish thing, is a red flag. I know some men latch onto women they view as a downgrade for an ego boost and to mooch off of.
He is in fire school, and up until this point, has no life savings, and I think his last girlfriend paid for everything as well.
His previous girlfriend was a model, getting her doctorate in psych, younger, and all of his girlfriends have been thin and beautiful. I am hot and sexy, but I am fat.
I know men can gravitate to bigger woman to rebound to fulfill their needs temporarily, and I’m afraid especially with how fast things are moving, that’s what’s happening.
I feel like there’s a scenario where he goes back to his ex after his fire school is done, and is just using me as a temporary fix. I feel like posting someone and saying they love you so fast, after being with someone he could regret breaking up with.
But maybe in the right person for him? Maybe they didn’t love him right?
Please, be honest. You will not hurt my feelings.

Hello everyone,
Unfortunately, today has turned out to be a very bad day. I went in for my 10 wk appt. I had an ultrasound first, which they would normally not do one until 20 wks if everything was okay, but I asked them to schedule me one cause I just wanted to be reassured that everything was okay, even though I haven't had any cramping/bleeding. I guess I just kind really wanted to be sure everything was moving smoothly.
They did a transvaginal ultrasound and I immediately felt like it didn't look right. With my daughter you could clearly see the little bean and the gestational sack was bigger. With this one, it looked like the sac was really "deflated" and the baby was pushed up against the wall. She didn't take any pictures, and that's really where I knew.
Then in my actual appt, my nurse came in and told me that they did not find a heartbeat. I feel so sad right now. The baby stopped growing at 8 wks. This is really a nightmare. And really something that you don't think will happen to you. She went over my options, and luckily, I'm in Illinois where I was able to have more options than just waiting it out. I've scheduled a D&C for Monday because I really don't think I can do it in my own home. I just feel so defeated, especially know that the heartbeat must have stopped around 8 weeks and I've been carrying my baby for 10. It's just heartbreaking.
My husband is really upset as well. He is someone who does not believe in abortion, but he is fully supporting me, which I am really grateful for. I think he also doesn't know how to process this. We were really looking forward to this second baby. I guess I'm just scared about the procedure as I will be put under anesthesia...I guess I just needed to voice my sadness to someone.

Not sure this has been mentioned lately, but I just blew someone's mind in another thread and realized this might not be well known.
There are 13 wooden firewatch towers scattered across Appalachia. If you climb to the top and look out at the world you'll get an option to "survey." Clicking the survey button will cause every marked location within range of the tower to show up on your map.
Tower locations: https://fallout.fandom.com/wiki/Category:Fallout_76_survey_towers
Many of these seemingly random locations will trigger things like daily quests that won't pop up until you've visited the place at least once, so if you feel like you're running out of stuff to do make sure to visit all of them.
Similarly, every train station has a map of Appalachia on the wall with pushpins or colored lights marking the locations of the other stations. Clicking on the pins/lights will mark the stations on your map.
Lastly, once you gain access to the military wing of the Enclave bunker you'll find a map on the wall showing the locations of the nuke silos. Click them to mark the locations.
The locations will be greyed out and you still have to visit them before they become fast travel locations, but you'll probably be surprised how many places there are that you haven't discovered.
Bonus train station fact: they all have bulletin boards on the wall with various posters, and a couple of them have small notes pinned to the board. All of the posters and notes will trigger side quest chains you may not have unlocked.

"Alpha Kappa Omega; Ang simula at wakas ay kapatiran"
To the naked eye and perception of the viewer, this film entails the life of a collegiate accepting the challenge of becoming a fratman along with going through the rigors of a frat’s initiation.
It is only different when the viewer is someone who posseses an open mind. It details how a totalitarianism rule takes place, even in a small scale organization such as a fraternity. The neophytes are tasked to follow orders without second thought and without asking why. Blind subordination is the concept they are to apply.
During the phases of their initiation, the neophytes are subject to extreme hazing, and actions that deprive them of dignity as human beings, ungguyan and gulpihan as it is called in the film. As stated by their master,
Walang ungguyan o gulpihan na hindi napaguusapan.
Meaning that it is justified within the fraternity. As the strong-willed neophytes proceed on their journey, they are tested.
Their first taste of ungguyan was to streak the city only in their underwear.
Pacoy, a virgin, is coerced to have sex. And to also have his food played with by his masters, and being confided that he was being recorded while doing the act when it fact it shouldn’t be beknownst to him.
When Ronnie decided to quit, he was subject to electrical torture and a beating session from his father, one of the founders of AKO, with a nonsense True or False quiz bee with the right answers making absolutely no sense (but they were funny, I won’t lie)
Though this one part of the scene truly brought out Mike de Leon’s genius:
Ang Martial Law ay nakabuti sa taong bayan. Tama o Mali?
Ronnie’s lack of response is widely subject to interpretation.
Sid Lucero takes on the role of being the batch’s de facto leader. He was mentioned as someone who thought and acted like a master. He never questioned anything his whole time as a neophyte, this always brought out arguments in the batch. Even at times supporting/enabling the wrongdoings of the masters.
Another highlight is the use of Nazi symbolism at their talent show, Upakan ’81. The brawl scene where ΑΚΩ fights ΣΟΣ at the backstage where AKO was crossdressed still makes me laugh.
Arni and Ronnie are two characters that didn’t deserve their fates.
Arni just simply wanted to date a girl, but was held back by Abet who was her brother, also a fratman under Sigma Omicron Sigma. They eventually put Arni down for good. Angering Sid who wanted to get revenge for his dear friend and batchmate.
Even if frats seemed barbaric the whole film, they had a system for brawls which surprised me.
In the brawl, it was Sigma who broke the conditions of the agreement. They brought weapons which were not part of the deal. Luckily enough, AKΩ brought their own set of tools. Meaning that not all the time, fratmen keep their word.
At the end, it was something of delayed gratification. A reach to the finish line. 5 made it to become brods.
The ending scene shows us a glimpse that it is an endless cycles as what once were neophytes, were now masters. They are continuing to enforce the brutal system. Creating a perpetual cycle of endless agony and hurt. Depriving young men of their ability to think freely;
Like how Ferdinand Marcos Sr. stripped the Filipino of his dignity. Making him a slave of his regime, a pawn in his game.
I recommend that this film be mandatory viewing for students. It is a film that opens the heart and mind.

*Leans against my lightly used 2006 Honda Civic* Hey! 😎
Thanks for clicking on my totally original title, it was between that or, "looking for my player 2". Anyways, I'm 24/M, and I'm based around the East Coast of the United States, distance doesn't really matter to me though since I love traveling, and I'm not particularly tied down since I work remotely!
I'm not entirely sure what I'm looking for, ideally, I could find someone to fall in love with and take over a small country and convert it into a Banana Republic. Then we would sell cheaply made overpriced appliances in order to amass a fortune. In all seriousness though, I miss the feeling of being in a relationship. I miss being affectionate with someone, I crave that cheesy romance, having someone to confide in and to be able to be supportive of them and to have that in return. I haven't had that in a long time. That's not to say that I'm looking to rush into anything, so you won't have to worry about me proposing in the parking lot of Applebees anytime soon. I'd definitely prefer to build a foundation with someone first, although I'm not opposed to something moving at a quicker pace.
When it comes to appearance, I'm horrible at descriptions of myself so I would be more than willing to swap pictures early on since I know physical attraction is important to most people. I'm white, fairly slim/fit, 150 pounds, and 5'9 (6'4 in heels 😳). That's around 175cm (0.0009 nautical miles for any pirates out there.)
Hobbies wise, I looooove horror media! Whether that be games, books, movies, etc. It's probably the topic that I can talk about the most. I'm into video games like most people here, I think it'd be fun to play together. I go camping and hiking quite a bit, I also enjoy reading and writing when I have the time. I used to do boxing as well! I've been wanting to get into dungeons and dragons, I even wrote a campaign for my friends, but they immediately realized it was too nerdy for them 😭. Outside of that, I've been considering buying and learning how to play a bass guitar, I promise this isn't some mid-life crisis hobby though!
There's a lot more to me than just a few paragraphs but I really didn't want to overwhelm anyone with a giant wall of text. So by all means if anyone's interested in talking then feel free to send me a message. I promise you won't regret it (too much)!

Hey Reddit,
A lot of folks take career breaks. Whether you had a child, got sick, had to take care of a love one, or travelled the world, at some point, you may want to return to the workforce.
And that's where a lot of people hit a brick wall.
How do I present myself?
What do I write on my resume?
How do I even get someone to give me an interview, let alone hire me?
These are some of the challenges that you might face if you find yourself in this situation.
The good news is that there are options out there. In today's issue of The Launchpad, I'm telling you how to approach this situation, and what some of those options are.
To read it, subscribe before it drops tomorrow at 10 am MST.

I, a fat 28F, am worried this new relationship with 28M is too good to be true? Lots of red flags, but only from his past.
I lost my father in December, and I’ve been told it’s a red flag that I jumped into a relationship so fast, or that he jumped into one with me. He was in a 4 year relationship with someone he’s had a friendship with for 10 years and a relationship with for 4, up until January. Who he was still talking to as of February 15. Yes, I have proof of ALL of this.
Our relationship is only two/three months old. He said I love you 3 weeks in, and has been all over me, posting me on social media, and spending every moment with me. He seems very into my body, he loves that I cook for him, he loves having sex with me, and seems very into me. He calls me his love, and posted me on his social media for the first time this weekend. I’ve never been posted so quickly by someone, ever.
I found out recently, from both him and two VERY reliable sources, that he’s into plus size p**n. His mom is also fat, and he HATES his mother. Seems to have deep rooted mommy issues. His mom cheated on his dad, and his mom kind of caused a divide in his family.
I found out he also was in a 4 year relationship with someone not plus sized, who he was having sex with and telling her he loved her in February, and they only broke up in January. They were very serious. There was no cheating, and he broke up with her at the peak of his addiction. I fear it was out of shame/impulse
In his relationship 7 years ago, he punched a wall, and she kicked him out, after he was living with her and not paying for anything.
I also found out he was apparently horrible to his post recent ex, who is NOT plus sized, towards the end. He threatened to hit her and even put a dent in her car.
He has a history of sex, gambling, p*rn, weed, and alcohol ; but he has claimed to only smoke weed now and has “stopped” gambling after having gambled for 7 years. He has no life savings.
I am just feeling like there’s potential I’m the rebound, and that this is some sort of ego grab and sex thing for him. I do a lot of motherly things for him, like cook and take care of him; and I feel like that combined with his fat fetish thing, is a red flag. I know some men latch onto women they view as a downgrade for an ego boost and to mooch off of.
He is in fire school, and up until this point, has no life savings, and I think his last girlfriend paid for everything as well.
His previous girlfriend was a model, getting her doctorate in psych, younger, and all of his girlfriends have been thin and beautiful. I am hot and sexy, but I am fat.
I know men can gravitate to bigger woman to rebound to fulfill their needs temporarily, and I’m afraid especially with how fast things are moving, that’s what’s happening.
I feel like there’s a scenario where he goes back to his ex after his fire school is done, and is just using me as a temporary fix. I feel like posting someone and saying they love you so fast, after being with someone he could regret breaking up with.
But also, maybe I’m the first and only person to love him the way he needs to be loved. For some reason, these red flags feel like not a big deal, because he hasn’t remotely shown any indication of being that way, with he.
Am I also the asshole for not feeling more concerned?

Ok buckle up.
11 years ago I received a Facebook message from someone who I thought was just a friend of my then partner saying all this stuff about am I her boyfriend etc. Partner was pregnant at the time and we lived together. Starting a family essentially. Replied to the message obviously being like wtf are you talking about? Had a word with her and essentially said look I don't know what's going on but you are pregnant and we are having a baby so you need to stop having contact with this guy. She made up some excuses, said he got the wrong end of the stick etc. After baby was born I suspected something was still going on so managed to get hold of her phone. Her WhatsApp icon was hidden in a massively obfuscated way inside loads of sub-groups. Big red flag. Anyway there were messages from a few days prior saying what time you coming round? love you etc. Clearly not just friends. So I ended up leaving. Baby was only 6 months old at the time but I wasn't prepared to stay.
Had full contact and shared custody I had my daughter every weekend and have never missed it once, taken her on loads of holidays etc.
There is a history of alcohol abuse and going out partying on her side that eventually led to her unfortunately dying in her sleep as a result of overdoing it.
Problem is now the funeral. I have obviously always protected my daughter from hurt by not burdening her with the reason why her parents aren't together but I guess she thinks it's my fault. I'm guessing her mum probably led her to believe that in a round about way.
The guy she was cheating on me with was still seeing her and was her on/off boyfriend. I heard from mutual acquaintances my daughter referred to him as "uncle" (yuck).
Anyway so him and his mum and sister were close to my daughter's mother and will be attending the funeral, which obviously makes it extremely awkward for everyone else in attendance.
There is a also an older ex- stepson (my daughter's half-brother) who I get on with fine and my daughter loves very much. They are very close. He is the one who has told me the other man and his family are coming to the funeral. He didn't say he couldn't come but he is obviously caught in the middle of this absolute mess and I feel so sorry for him.
So this is my quandary, Do I tell my daughter the real reason why I can't attend, or do I spare her feelings by taking the moral high ground yet again all the while letting her think I'm still the bad guy.
Bare in mind that by me not telling her why I left had probably damaged her view of me for the first 11 years of her life, and this will make me look even worse.
I have been struggling with this for about a week now and really can't decide how to play it.
My reasons for wanting to tell her aren't to make her mother look bad at all. I always wanted her to have a loving relationship with her mother no matter what she did to me and I was always civil to her after things died down and I got back on my feet and healed. It's more that I feel I've been made to look like the bad guy and that has caused my relationship with my daughter to suffer as a result, and I'm not prepared to do it anymore.

I just wanted to discuss this with someone but no one in my circle of friends watches the show. It’s been a while since I watched the show so I don’t remember all the details so excuse me if I forgot to mention something.
I respect caitlyn’s determination to make piltover and zaun both a better place but when vi said ‘you enforcers are all the same. Just asshole criminals with fancy uniforms’ I kinda understood her because enforcers killed her parents as I still remember.
I think that because of that I don’t like caitlyn. And the fact that her mother didn’t show her how the real world works and protected didn’t do caitlyn any better.
I don’t like her that much because I think that she’s entitled. Always saying that she wants to save zaun and piltover but she was just trying to save piltover by trying to get silco and jinx arrested.
But for years and years the enforcers killed and harassed several people from the undercity but when jinx struck back(when she killed 6 enforcers) caitlyn was suddenly so interested and got vi out of jail to lead her through the undercity.
I know that what jinx did was wrong but it was badass in my opinion given to what happened to her by the enforcers.
I also think that jinx absolutely hates caitlyn for a reason and that is because of her parents death by the enforcers and that jinx thinks that vi is trying to replace her and jinx also hallucinated about Caitlyn mocking her with vi.
I know that both vi and jinx were traumatised. I’m not trying to compare traumas. They were both wrong and distraught and traumatised from what happened. They were both children.
Anyways, back to caitlyn; I wanna know how you think her point of view was. What she thought she was doing.
And I really didn’t like how vi always took caitlyn whenever she went especially because jinx gets very upset when she sees caitlyn.
But like piltover never thought once to help the undercity and no one spoke up when enforcers and police were harassing ppl from the undercity But now she just went full on enforcer mode when the undercity decided to take revenge?
I don’t mean to be disrespectful, I just wanted to hear others’ people opinions on caitlyn😭

I would say my RJ mostly stems from a clashing of morals with my boyfriend. The things in his past that bother me, bother me because they go completely against my view of sex and intimacy in general.
You hear it a lot, “the past is the past,” and it’s meant to be a comforting thought, particularly for those of us who do struggle with RJ because of a difference in morals, because people are not static, people’s morals and values can and do change often. so, really, you never have to be “okay” with your partner’s past, but you can accept it for what it is, and you can accept them now in the present as someone whose views have evolved with time. but, thats the key thing, and the thing im struggling with now: time. how quickly can someone’s morals/values truly change so fundamentally?
this is what im having trouble with now: my boyfriend tells me this, that his values have changed, especially since getting together with me, but to me, when he says this, it feels kind of… cheap? the things in his past that i have RJ over happened only a few months before we got together.
So this is what i’m struggling with. one, i struggle to believe someone’s morals/values can change so drastically on such a fundamental level that quickly. and second, part of me feels like it doesn’t even make a difference? like, i mean, since it all happened so shortly before we got together, and assuming we stay together, it’s not like he ever got a chance to demonstrate any difference in his values, yknow? so, does it even matter? does it change anything? is there any material difference whether his views are any different now than they were?
im not sure if any of this even made any sense, but im really struggling with this and any advice or perspective would be really appreciated

Book One: Edge of Madness - Chapter One Previous Next
I could pretend to be a whore. That's what Masutap thought as she stood before the gate leading to the fortress of the Highlord of the Eastlocal. Pretense was a thing she indulged in back when she'd been an ordinary woman, with ordinary ambitions. But as of now, things had changed. Things had changed drastically, for she was now a champion of the Goddess of Order. A champion who would do anything in her power to mock the very being that fed her power.
Power, yes. It was what she felt. Every time her eyes turned upon the world, she saw Order. Like bees in a hive, working towards a similar objective. Survival. Yes, they all wanted to survive. And that's where the power lay, in her ability to deny a thing's chance at survival, for when her eyes flashed red, things died.
"Pardon me sir." A man dragging a cart of coal said. She was standing in his way, she knew this of course, she'd known it since the time he'd decided to deliver the coal. She saw the strings of prophesy in the smallest of things, and oh what power lied in discernment, to see the past and the future in absolute clarity, the secret lay in following strands of Order. The Highlord of the Eastlocal always received a cart of coal at around this time every fifth day. He would serve as her witness. Coal. She smiled, remembering how Orgeeg had managed to penetrate into the Palace of Binoria, on a stack of coal. She recalled how Orgeeg thwarted her plans, then she remembered how small her plans had been.
"Pardon me... Uh lady?" She removed her cowl as the Coal merchant spoke. Her hair was longer now, she'd let it grow, it dangled askew of her ears. Dark and rich as her mother's once was. Masutap smiled at the man whose face was caked in coal dust.
"Today Shama dies! Tonight the Highlord of the EastLocal is no more!" Masutap said.
Twin daggers she had strapped to her waist were suddenly in her hands. The coal merchant stumbled back several steps, dragging the cart with him. The sun was dipping into the horizon, becoming a smeared red smudge upon the canvas of her perception. Her eyes flashed red, and the smeared smudge's light brightened, blanketing everything, making her see.
She spun and threw the dagger in her left hand. The knife whirled in the air and met the throat of a guard who was just cresting the upper walkway of the gate, he wore red leather that marked him as one of the royal guards of the Highlord. A shout sounded. The guards at the gate turned their attention to her. They were six of them, each of them dazed with the slow reception of understanding. The bubble they lived in, understanding it enabled her to see how blind humanity is. Like sheep, no wonder the Vigons ruled them so easily.
She was in their midst before they drew their swords from their scabbards. She drove the dagger into the throat of the first one, danced in a pirouette, thrust free the dagger and hurled it into the throat of another guard. Her hands were free, she curled her fingers into fists.
The Goddess Meena, Goddess of Order, spoke to her. **What is the purpose of this?*
"Oh, you'll see." Masutap said and drove a fist into the chest of one guard, her hand caved through the chest cavity, snapping the spine in half and emerging free of the Guards back. She paused for effect, the three remaining guards gawked at her. She pried her arm free of the corpse and met their panicked gazes. "Sound the alarm, you're too few to make me sweat. I need all of you. Gods! Come on you fucking cowards!"
Two of the three guards charged her, one took a swing at her head with a flat blade, the sharp edge missed her by a hair's breadth as she ducked. She brought up her knee and connected with the man's groin, raising him off the ground, legs held apart, face contorted in pain. He collapsed on the ground with a squeal akin to that of a dying rabbit. The other guard put on a stance of Grind, legs parted, right foot before the left. Knees bent. He brandished his sword before him, and the guard behind him ran off to sound the alarm. Masutap smiled.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
He slept on a bed filled with whores. Talisi women with their dark skin and white hair, Remu women with their sandy peppered hair and copper skin, Binorian women with their blonde hair and pale milky skin. He was their God and they flocked to him in worship. He owned all of them, from the frailest to the most able bodied. From the smartest to the daftest. They were all his.
The Highlord of the Eastlocal observed the head of the Talisi woman resting on his thigh, her breathing was deep, her dark naked breasts rising and falling with every inhale and exhale. Five other women slept around him, each as beautiful as the last.
Of all the men in the realm, I alone am the honored one. Shama thought. He caressed his bulging belly with his pudgy fingers the size of sausages. His appearance did pass as grotesque. Bloated, balding with a cleanly shaven head, wide of girth and bow legged. Yet, no man has conquered the bodies of women as he had done. Women who lusted after tall handsome men. Women who sought capable men with astounding intelligence. They all gave in to him, none could deny him and when they did, well, there were ways to make them yield.
An orgy at noon. That was the gist of it, and another orgy before the midnight bell. Life was good, life was beautiful. Shama had thought that after the death of King Vayin Vigon in the hands of the infamous Kolotian, Ishar, that his wealth will dwindle, that his status will come down a step. That the might of Binoria will be a fickle thing after their first loss at war. But of course, this wasn't to be. The Queen, Dahli Vigon, had received the blessing of Meena, passed down from her father. As long as one with the Jojoh Meena, the blessing of Meena, still ruled, then things will stay as they've always been. Dahli had taken over, ensuring that Binoria didn't fall into anarchy, ensuring the Vigon name remained revered. The beautiful blonde haired girl was now the most potent soul upon the realm. How he longed to have her in his bed, parting those pale thighs sinuated with muscle. She'd become quite the fair lady. And her presence oozed power.
Shama wanted her but a thought kept his desires at bay. She'd frowned at him at the recent Highlords meeting with the throne. Apparently, his tastes and businesses didn't bode well with her. The selling of flesh, that is what he partook in with the zeal of a drowning man reaching for a floating oar. Importing women from all over the realm, some came willingly, others reluctantly. But in the end they all came. Their dignity thrown away for the promise of gold vigons. They filled the whore houses and men flocked to them in throngs, lining his pocket with gold vigons
It was his inventiveness that brought him to the top, the Highlord of the Eastlocal was once a position few envied. But his eye, trained in the art of commerce, enabled him to transform the east of Binoria. Creating a network that not only benefited him, but also the crown. And in so doing, despite her frowns and her reluctance to treat with him, she still couldn't voice her displeasure. Dahli needed him, she needed him for the coin necessary to maintain her position upon the crown. To line the pockets of her Legions. She needed him, and one day he will have her. No woman can deny him, and if they did, there were ways to make them give in.
Suddenly, the twin oak doors leading to his bed chambers flew open. The Captain of the Red Guard, in charge of his safety, Shang, walked in. "Highlord." He said with a bow, the women around him stirred. Outside, a bell started ringing, slowly at first then with extreme vigor. Something is wrong. Shang's obvious panic was clear to see. The opened door allowed him to see several Red guards crowded at the door.
"What is the meaning of this?" Shama asked, his beady eyes on Shang. An inhuman scream sounded somewhere within the fortress. Shama's blood chilled in his veins.
"There's an intruder." Shang said while ravaging through the clothes on the floor. He lifted a red jerkin, two sizes too large, the right size for the Highlord. He threw it at Shama and the Highlord hastened to put it on. He ignored the bewildered looks of the naked whores.
"Intruders or intruder?" Shama asked as Shang led him out of his bed chambers. Another scream sounded, closer. The guards at the door, seven of them, crested around him as Shang led the way.
"A woman, she's alone." Shang said.
Shama gripped Shang's arm, halting him. "What do you mean by this? A singular woman causing... causing... this?"
"She's..." Shang hesitated.
"Speak! You fool!"
"She seems to be inhumanly strong and fast. I only saw her fight through a blockade of my brothers, without a sword. She tore my brothers— the Red Guards, to pieces." Shang's eyes became glazed, as if his mind was replaying the mayhem he'd bore witness to. Shama let go of his arm. The trembling was taking him again, starting at the soles of his feet, up his spine around his neck to his hands. It had been so long since he felt this, the animalistic fear confounded on the existence of an unknown, an unknown that sought to see him dead.
"Captain, what is your course of action?" Shama asked.
Shang seemed to shake himself free of his trance. "We're going to take you to the stables, get you on the fastest steed and—" A scream echoed through the halls of the fortress of the Highlord of the Eastlocal. Checking everyone in place.
"What of provisions?"
"There's no time." Shang said. He drew a flat blade from the scabbard at his side. The Guards all around mimicked him, the rustling of steel could be heard, and there, at the Western end of the fortress, screams sounded.
Shang started a brisk walk towards the East end of the Fortress. His boots, soles lined with metal, clancked upon the ground. Shama shuffled close behind Shang, panting like a mare in heat. The Red Guards around him stole glances to their rear, sweat woven with fear formed a sleek mask upon their startled faces. And in those eyes Shama was able to weigh how dire matters were.
A shout sounded from ahead, bringing Shang to an abrupt stop. "How—" His words caught in his throat as a woman caked in blood and gore emerged from the bend linking the hallway they were in to another hallway that led to the stables.
She stood before them and spread out her bloody fingers at Shama. "Highlord, nice to meet you." She waved. "Say, I hear you can show a woman a good time and I'm in quite the mood for a good time tonight."
Shama trembled, the woman seemed vaguely familiar. The angles of her cheekbones , that nose, those eyes. She resembled Dahli.
"Moran and Jesul to me!" Shang commanded. Two of the guards behind Shama moved forward to flank Shang on either side. "Employ any forms, ensure I get close to her so I may employ the form of Awe."
Awe— the grappling technique that ensured the limbs were pinned. Shama saw Shang's ploy. He needed to contain the woman so Shama could move past them and head for the stables. Shama cursed himself for the design of his fortress that allowed for only one route to the stables.
Shang, Moran and Jesul raised their broad swords. One raising it above the head in a form of Rage, the other bringing the blade level with his face in the form of Pride. Shang lowered his blade and the guards flanking him charged, he followed close behind. The woman let out a cry that could only be translated as one of glee. She charged them.
Moran brought his sword down on the woman but she slid on her knees, allowing momentum to push her beyond the reach of his blade. Jesul thrust at her, raising his right leg and angling the sword downwards at her face. But the woman dodged, spun upon the ground on the small of her back and kicked Jesul's leg from under him. Jesul fell and as he raised his head he met with the woman's fist, there was a loud crunch as his face caved in. His hand let go of the sword as his body became limp.
Shang saw the opening and dived at the woman before she could stand. The woman spread her arms wide, welcoming. Shang pounced but instead landed on the woman's upraised knees, she grabbed his leather armor by the collar and flung him behind her and onto Moran. Both of them collapsed on the ground.
She stood up and smiled at Shama.
"Who are you?" Shama asked.
"I'm Masutap, the sister of Queen Dahli." The woman answered.
"Men! Turtle formation! Swords out, save the Highlord! Move you fools!" Shang said as he picked himself up from the ground behind Masutap.
The men around Shama compacted closer. Their swords pointing at Masutap who regarded them with a smirk upon her face. They inched forward, hesitantly at first, then with confidence as they saw their Captain pick up his sword. They all came to a stand still when the eyes of the woman glowed a fierce red, as if she held the Jojoh Meena. And Shama, the Highlord of the Eastlocal, trembled before her gaze.
XXXXXXXXXXXXX
Intuition, the immediate cognition without the use of conscious rational processes. It was simple for her, she dodged the sword thrusts and swipes easily. She turned either way, always beyond reach of the blades, always within striking distance. Her strength was a thing of beauty, somehow her frail wrists held the power necessary to crush a throat and crush a throat she did. She didn't tire, she didn't require forms of combat. The power of the Goddess of Order coursed through her veins and with it came rejuvenation.
The Red Guards pounced on her, seeking to put in place the form of Awe. But their efforts were in vain, she side stepped them easily, always on her feet. She saw an opening and like a river emptying into the Rankf sea she took it, delivering a punch to the side of a Guard's chest, feeling as ribs broke and punctured the lung.
**What is the purpose of this?* The Goddess Meena spoke within her mind. An ever present being whose words sought to throw her off, to calm the tempest raging within her. Masutap didn't want calm, she wanted fire and brimstone, she wanted Binoria to burn so their precious Queen will rule nothing but ash. She decreed this with a war cry, plunging into the midst of the Red Guards. She kicked two, flinging them across the hallway. One thrust with his blade but she caught it between her arm and side, she twisted the blade free of his grasp, gripped the hilt and decapitated the man in one swift motion.
She parried a strike to her left, danced free of two thrust then brought the blade down onto a Guard's head. She felt as the blade bit bone and she wasted no time in pulling it free. **What is the purpose of this?* Meena asked once more.
Masutap took three steps back to widen her periphery. "An inferno." She said as she flexed her sword hand. Suddenly, the Guard who was definitely their Captain, reached into the mass of clustered Guards pressed to the wall, away from her. And pulled the Highlord free of the men surrounding him.
"Form a blockade!" He screamed as he tagged and pulled at the distraught Highlord, leading him towards the end of the hallway. The remaining Guards blocked her vision of them. Like a fool she'd been too enthralled by the battle, allowing the Highlord to slowly slip past her, cocooned in the safety of the Guards in their turtle formation. He was making clear his escape and somehow, this aroused her, blowing upon an ember lodged deep within her until it sparked.
**What is the purpose of this?* Like a parrot, the Goddess repeated her question.
"An inferno." Masutap answered and lunged.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXX
He was sweating profusely, his breath caught in his throat, causing him to choke on air. He followed Shang, feeling the Captain of the Red Guard's displeasure at his inability to keep up. They descended a flight of stairs, taking three at a time. He almost collapsed but the Captain steadied him.
"Not far now my Lord. Just at that bend before us." Shang said. They took the bend and ran clear of the fortress. The horses were just ahead, they rushed to them. Shama took delight in the open air. The stables were void of people, Shama wondered where the stable hands were. They entered the stable and Shang dragged him to the first cubicle on the right where a saddled horse stood.
Shama hastily climbed onto the saddle with the aid of the Captain. Shang placed his Highlord's feet in the stirrups and moved to flank the horse. "Lord." He said, fighting for solid ground that will enable his words to come forth easily. "It has been an honor to serve under you." Shama smiled but his smile proved too little a gesture to carry the weight or their current predicament. "Ride hard for the Capital, ensure the Queen knows of all that's gone down here. I will stay back and hold her for as long as I can." Shang concluded with a crisp salute. The Highlord nodded and with the guidance of his captain upon the horse's reins, they exited the stable "She is a good steed, see the mark of her coat? She can take you far." Shang said once free of the stables. A scream sounded from within the fortress, horrid in its guttural screech. "Go now my Lor—" Shang's words died in his mouth as an explosion erupted at the first floor of the fortress, stone parted, breaking as easily as a clay vase, the window panels and the glass set in place erupted outwards with the stone. Three figures tumbled free of the eruption, tangled in the air, twisting with the fall. They landed, the woman on her feet, knees bent and a fist pressed to the ground, the other two guards lay insensate upon the ground, their bodies a mangled mess. Shang slapped the horse's hide and Shama took of in a gallop.
The Highlord turned back, watched as the woman rose free of the debri and charged Shang. The captain employed a form of Grind but the Highlord's view was hindered by a sharp turn around the cobblestones towards the gate of his fortress. The blood and bodies upon the ground unsettled the horse, forcing its pace to be more hurried and Shama was all the more grateful for it.
She has the Jojoh Meena! Shama thought with awe as the horse broke free of the fortress in a quick gallop that had him bouncing upon the saddle. His thighs felt the brunt force of his escape but he could do nothing but hold on for dear life. This is what I'm reduced to, at the end of the line dependency thrives, in old age your children are those you depend on. I never thought I'd come to rely on anyone throughout my life. Yet here I am, depending on a horse to save my skin. He turned his head back and heaved a sigh of relief. The fortress was dwindling within his periphery, he had made quick his escape. Shama will live to see another day. And when the sun rises and sets, I will bring judgment upon the woman whose very existence rivals my own. Masutap. I will hunt her, she will know no safety within the realm, she will never know peace or a good night's slee— Something unnerved him. There, at the entrance to the fortress, a figure appeared. Following the path charted by his horse. She hopes to outrun my horse? He tilted his head back and laughed. There is faith and delusion and she seems to be enamored by both. To think her capable of outrunning a horse. What a fool what a— His thoughts halted when he turned back, his mouth dropped, his jaw hanging loose. Masutap was catching up, he did not know how but she was gaining on him. She'd been a speck in the distance, barely visible against the backdrop of the fortress. But now her features were getting more defined and her limbs, they were a blur as she pushed forward with inhuman speed.
Panic drove Shama into action, he kicked his heels at the horse's flanks. Willing it to go faster. "Run you fool! Run!" He was frothing at the mouth as the horse went downhill, cutting his view of the one in pursuit. He gripped harder at the reins and screamed, slapping the horse's neck. He looked back to see Masutap emerge upon the hill and start a quick descent after him. He thought about guiding the horse into the wilderness and thought against it seeing that a gallop won't be possible with trees in the way. His only hope was in outpacing her for surely, even one with the Jojoh Meena must tire. He hoped Masutap would relent, he hoped her bloodlust would have proved sated by the guards who'd met their end by her. He hoped that he would live to see the sun climb into the sky one more time. Darkness was setting in and suddenly thoughts of the sun and it's warmth sprouted a yearning within him that made him weep. He turned his head back, she was a hundred paces away. The horse was tiring, it's gallop lazed in vigor. This is the end then, all those afternoons spent indoors hosting orgies. I should have spent them beneath the sun, I should have spent them in the sun He looked back once more, his horse barely keeping pace. The horse threw a shoe and Shama was flung off it. He tumbled onto the ground, his weight rested upon his twisted knee, the sharp pop of the joint led him into an anguished wail. The horse screamed, its fore limbs oddly twisted. The horse thrashed upon the ground and Shama rolled away. He felt weak, he felt defeated and most of all, he felt hopeless.
He lay there, watching the sky, the moon was up, barely half of it adorned the night. He wished it had been full, all those nights when he'd regarded the sky as one would a thing of no consequence. Now he found himself wishing he'd appreciated it more. In the end regrets rule the mind, for in its dying wails no sound of gratitude can be heard.
She came and stood above him, her face blocking the view of the sky. She breathed loudly and for a moment the only sounds around them were from the injured horse and her.
"Dahli will come for you." He opined despite the throbbing pain within his twisted leg.
"Shama, darling," Masutap said as she lowered herself to lie beside him. She chuckled. "Darling, that word. The Goddess Meena loves that word. She uses it a lot. I find it distasteful yet here I am. Calling you darling."
"I have not time for pleasantries." Shama interjected. "Cut my throat and be done with it."
Masutap sighed. "That's not a creative way to kill someone you know. No, how many women have suffered pain beneath you? I have to give answer to that and that means a show. I will drag you to your fortress, there I will strip you naked and castrate you. I will feed you your cock as the women whom you took advantage of watch. Then we'll douse you in Rankf Oil and set you alight."
Shama started weeping. And a new voice joined the fray, he wept, she heaved and the horse screamed.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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I'll just start by saying that I actually do not believe that there are always two sides to a story. I think it's a very dangerous path to go down in situations of abuse, because it opens up opportunity to blame the victim or attempt to pick out moments in the story where someone can say "well, I can see why [the abuser] would feel or say _____" and somehow justify the abuse. But abuse is cumulative, it's often death by a thousand cuts, and victims stay in the cycle because their abusers convince them of that very same idea, that somehow they are entitled to act the way they do because [insert some flimsy exuse that deflects responsibility onto the victim here].
My backstory is my best friend was a covert narc. Shit hit the fan, she discarded me. Looking back, I can see exactly who she is. But we have many mutual friends who all still love her (and maybe still love me too, I don't know, I left the friend group), who wanted to "stay neutral." And while I understand the concept and I think that's a noble, mature stance in most situations, in the case or narcissistic abuse, this is how narcissists are able to keep doing what they do. They bank on other people being willing to stay neutral or give them a free pass. And, as abuse goes, it's very difficult for the victim to explain what happened behind closed doors because of plausible deniability, because emotional abuse is hard to spot or explain, because everything looks perfectly fine on the outside, because sometimes we don't even know what's happening until we are discarded.
I was met with most all of our shared friends saying this same thing to me-- "I don't want to get involved, I want to stay neutral" etc etc. And I was unendingly frustrated by this. I understand they don't see the truth of the narcissist, but I do now, and I needed to leave and get away from these people who don't see what I see so I could heal. And so I left my entire community (oftentimes scapegoats choose to their leave entire family for the same reason!). It's beyond painful to have to leave otherwise well-intentioned people behind because you know what you know about the narcissist, but they haven't seen it yet, and you don't know if they ever will. And when you leave, you open yourself up to the intense vulnerability of criticism and judgement from literally everyone who doesn't understand, and you trailblaze your own path, guided by the truth you have inside you. It's fucking scary, and lonely, and I can't even say I've grieved it all yet. I'm certain that those I left behind have labeled me as childish "she just wanted me to take her side" nonsense, but the truth is that we can only heal from abuse in environments where we can be fully honest about what happened to us, call it by its proper name ABUSE, and be fully believed and championed by the people surrounding us.
I've watched some reels on Instagram of people explaining their situations where they were being blatantly abused, like fully financially abused or physically abused or emotionally abused, or all of the above, and people are literally in the comments saying "there's two sides to every story..."
What the fuck??
Like a person says their spouse of nearly a decade makes $250k a year, but they have access to none of it because they are locked out of bank accounts and have to ask for money when they need it, and they don't even receive enough allowance to cover monthly bills. Blatant financial abuse. But there are people in the comments saying "well she's probably buying expensive handbags and jewelry and that's why she's cut off... there's two sides to every story..."
Another example...A woman is telling her story about how she found out her husband was cheating on her, so she confronted him and he bashed her head into a wall... There's literally people in the comments saying "well there's two sides to every story...she was probably unfaithful first..."
I struggle with this concept so much. Like...YES it's important to consider all the details, and we shouldn't just choose sides willy nilly. But at the same time, when someone is being literally abused and seeking help and support, and then they get hit with "I want to be neutral...there's two sides to every story" it just blows my mind.
Furthermore, oftentimes emotional abuse is so subtle and manipulative that we don't even realize what's happening. Sometimes its our therapist that points out, "hey, it sounds like you're being emotionally abused." Or it's our parent. Or a friend. Or a spouse who calls out an abusive friend. Whatever the case, sometimes noninvolved parties can witness what's happening from an outside view and label what's happening as abuse, and hopefully support the victim to get the hell out of dodge.
And after I was discarded, it took a few months to figure out who this covert narcissist was, but it started to click and I told my friend "that person was abusive...I'm seeing it now for what it was" and she literally said "well, I haven't had time to get to know this person yet." This same "friend" is someone who often wants to look at all sides of the story, and she watched me get bullied and exiled in the name of "staying neutral." So I left that friendship. Because I firmly believed that there wasn't two sides, and she wasn't "neutral," she was complicit.
I don't even know why I'm writing all this. My head spins when I think about this concept. Yes, of course, neutrality is good when we don't know all the details. But what about when someone - the real victim, not the one playing the victim - realizes they are being abused and needs support? And that's the scary part. Sometimes we don't know if we're dealing with the real victim or the one playing the victim, and I guess that's why we should stay neutral until we have all the information.
I am just so wary of this phrase nowadays. It's all a mindfuck.

I follow a few of my local municipality Facebook groups. The level of boomers is hilarious.
Seriously, everything was better back then. Abandoned building that someone wants to tear down? "Does anyone else remember when Spankys was there 40 years ago? Why can't someone open a store like that!?!?"
Or complaining about taxes in one breath and then immediately complaining about pot holes or lack of X or why are we spending that $3.85 on new flowers downtown?? Yet, when called about how budgets work, they lose their shit.
Every single development some Boomer talks about how the mayor or city council is on the take. "How much did their pockets get lined on that development??"
Today's flavor was someone posting about a mechanical assembly job. Of course, one of the first comments was, "If I was younger. I'd love that job!" This person (who I actually know) hasn't worked in 30+ years and can barely walk.
Never ending entertainment.

I tried raising this with Epic support but they weren't particularly helpful and just told me to post about my issue here.
I've been trying to get every accolade this season now that they're more obviously tracked on the quest screen. I recently won a match of Solo Zero Build with (What I believed was) just the Nitro Fists, however upon winning I got neither the "Knife to a gun fight" (Win a match only dealing damage with melee weapons) or "One and done" (Win a match only collecting a single weapon).
I was particularly careful to not pick up any guns (Or other fists) throughout the match and outside of general healing items the only other items I picked up were nitro splash and boogie bombs, I was careful not to deal any damage to players while driving a car and I didn't fire a cars weapon during the match to my knowledge. I did recieve the accolade for not reloading though
Outside of something really specific I cannot figure out what would've voided this accolade (And given that I need to win a battle royale game under such strict conditions, I'm not exactly able to test out 100 different theories until it works), Epic support hasn't been helpful (Only pointing me to the issue where Accolades are completely reset for players, then proceeding to tell me to post here) and I would really appreciate any assistance/explanations that anyone could provide.
Is it me running into a wall with nitro? Potentially dealing some damage while being under nitro and punching someone? Throwing a boogie bomb? Existing in a car at all in the entire match? (This one would be particularly obnoxious given the focus of the entire season) Hitting a piece of terrain in a car? I have no idea and it kinda sucks after getting so far to suddenly hit an accolade that I think should've unlocked but doesn't seem to have.
Posting a link to the accolades screen (doubt this is helpful but I sent it to epic support so might as well include) https://imgur.com/pc5KArb
Not sure if this is helpful but in case anyone wants to be a supersluth I have uploaded the replay file of the match here: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1rNxe_SQS-7JzCs06LUlrmi0VZvipUQr9/view?usp=sharing

“This geriatric bunch in cold sleep?”
“Affirmative. But their records show that they have been in cold sleep multiple times. They should respond quickly to the resuscitation procedure.”
“But, why? Wouldn’t it be more merciful to leave them in stasis while the Jaxorians intercept us?”
“Yes, but Allyson says that these individuals are the ones who might get us out of this situation.”
“The Terran engineer? You’re trusting her?”
“In a zero-sum analysis, her suggestions have net positive outcomes.”
“Just for the record, I think this is a bad idea.” A pause. “Resuscitation sequence activated.”
“Duly noted. Alert me when they are awake.”
-=-=-=-=-=-
William Exeter hated the feeling of coming to after cold sleep. While the modern systems were better than those he first encountered, he still felt like his muscles were infused with lead and that he was suffering from a hangover that he never got the enjoyment of deserving. But hopefully this would be one of the last times he would ever have to use the procedure, and he could finally settle down.
As the capsule’s lid slid back, harsh light assaulted William’s eyes, and he squinted in an attempt to lessen the pain. The silhouette of a triangular head above him let William know that a Dravitian was checking on him. He swallowed and got his voice working so he could croak out, “I’m up, I’m up.”
“Ah, Mr. Exeter, yes? I am…” The insectoid started to come into better view to the Terran’s adjusting eyes. “Captain? Yes, Captain of this ship. I am… We all are in need of assistance.”
“Uh, what?” William’s croaking voice hid some of his annoyance. “Yeah, I’m Exeter. But if you’re going to get my help, you’re going to have to get me a Jolt. I’m still half asleep from the drugs.”
The Dravitian’s head tilted to the side in an obvious gesture of confusion, “You require an electrical discharge?”
And this was why William hated waking up among aliens. He had to explain everything to them. “A drink. ‘All the sugar and twice the caffeine.’ Bah!” He started to force his muscles into action and pushed up on his elbows, “Just get me a goddamned stimulant, okay?”
“Oh, yes. Yes. Of course!” The Dravitian’s head disappeared as the insectoid moved over to a wall-mounted workstation.
William turned his head and saw several other cold-sleep capsules with their lids open. He cleared his throat and then called out, “Venture crew, sound off...”
“Here!”
I hear you, Bill.”
From a nearby capsule there was a dry coughing, but a hand in a ‘thumbs-up’ gesture rose in response.
“Well, good, I won’t have to suffer alone.” William turned his head again and looked over the other closed capsules, “But they didn’t wake everyone, so something’s up. Try to shake this shit off and get ready, okay?”
There were murmurs of ascent and more dry coughs from the other capsules.
The Dravitian come back from the workspace and addressed William, “Stimulant beverages and some cakes are on their way, Mr. Exeter. While I know that you are still under the effects of the stasis pharmaceuticals, I do need to apprise you of our need. You know of the Jaxorians, yes?”
William’s brow furrowed, “What, those crab-guys who go around in those water-suits? Didn’t we beat them in that big war?”
The Dravitian pulled back a little, “It was a negotiated settlement, I believe, but yes, your descriptive words adequately fit the Jaxorian physiology.” He paused, “Well, the Jaxorians, and their rulers the Drasalites, are once again at war, and we are now targets. I would not have woken you , but our Terran engineer was sure that you could help.”
William frowned and shook his head, “We should have finished them once and for all when we had the chance, but we have to let the Soviets fail as Soviets, don’t we?” He sighed, “And we’re humans, dammit. Homo sapiens sapiens by fuckin’ scientific classification. We once lived on Terra, but our genus and species doesn’t change when we move to another-” He noticed the paling colors on the edges of the Captain’s chitinous facial plates and stopped his Duckman-esque rant, “Look, nevermind. How much time do we have?”
The insectoid paused, as if surprised be the direct question. “We estimate a cycle, if our engineer’s modifications to the engines hold. Our speed has been dramatically increased, but the Jaxorian ships still gain slowly. We will eventually be within the effective range of their weapons. Please, direct us.”
-=-=-=-=-=-
After some of the greasy-spoon diner-ish coffee and the supermarket quality yeast-raised, honey-glazed donuts, the four Terrans looked and felt better. William glanced at his colleagues, noting the wear of time on their bodies. He chuckled as the slightly altered movie quote of ’It’s not the years, it’s the light-years’ ran through his mind. But they’d been together ‘asleep’ much longer than they’d been awake, and they’d spent more of their ‘awake’ lives together than apart.
Tony Scarpetti’s pudgy fingers tipped his cup almost upside down as he tried to get the last drops of the coffee and granulated sugar sludge into his mouth. His once black hair was now mostly white, and his tough physique that ran circles around them on the soccer field had shrunk a bit, though he was still stocky.
Peter Hoffman had finally gotten control of his coughing, and was munching on ‘just one more’ donut, and William once again wondered where Peter fit all the food he ate in that short, diminutive frame. His signature mohawk had been fluffed up with fingers, but lacking styling gel and a razor to clean up the stubble that had grown out in cold sleep, it ended up looking more like a peaked mound than the sharp style that Peter would have usually rocked.
Alex (AJ) Johnson’s hair had finally receded so much that his braid only held back reddish hair from behind his ears, though his scraggly beard was long enough that he could probably have braided it as well. Always tall and gangly, his frame seemed a little more gaunt than William remembered, though it had been almost a decade of cold-sleep travel since they had last seen each other.
“Hey, Doctor Exeter?”
William turned his head toward the voice, and looked at the young woman with blonde hair striding toward the table where the four sat around their coffee and donuts. Her utilitarian grey coveralls had scorch-marks and grime all over, and there was some of the same on her exposed hands and face, but bright teeth were visible in her smile.
William nodded, “You must be the plucky human engineer who got us woken up before our alarm went off, huh?”
The woman nodded, still smiling widely and, as she got over to the table, thrust out her hand toward William in the manner of one who just remembered something. “Yeah, sorry about that, Doctor. I’m Allyson, and I’m the only Terran on the ship. Besides you guys, that is.”
William took the extended hand and shook it, being a little more gentle than he usually would have been, given the way that the woman’s grip and lack of fluid motion showed that she wasn’t experienced in shaking hands as a greeting ritual. But she had looked it up, and that counted for something. “Well, us humans have to stick together, right? You sure you want us geezers to help you out? Don’t you have some flashy alien tech to get away from these crab guys?”
Allyson grinned as the handshake seemed to go correctly and shook her head, “Well, if you had been four guys who weren’t from the Space Venture, I would have let you sleep and hoped that I could come up with some way to escape, but well… you are, and well…” She looked at the men around the table, “You guys solve problems, right?”
“Troubleshoot.” AJ corrected, his voice still a little rough. “We’re Troubleshooters. So we’re likely to be able to fix problems on the ship, but not necessarily the situation. It gives us an out on some problems…”
Allyson’s brow furrowed, but before she could say anything, William offered, “But we’ll try and get you out of this alive, okay?” He looked over toward AJ, “No need to haze the newb, ‘kay?”
AJ chuckled and nodded, going for another sip of his coffee.
Allyson looked between the two old men and shook her head. Weren’t these guys the stuff of legends? Why didn’t they act like it? But they were what she had. What the whole ship had. Oh, the ship, right. “And we don’t really have any xenotech. This is an old decommissioned TA vessel, a combat freighter, so it’s kind of structurally overbuilt for a freighter. It was the TAV Thuban, but after being bought up by a Dravitian company it’s now the CCV K’gara B’rak. That translates to something like ‘Ugly Worker Beetle’.”
William raised an eyebrow, “I thought those bugs didn’t like old ships?”
Allyson grinned, “They couldn’t build a new ship to these durability specs at anywhere near the sale price. I think that it vexes the Captain to no end.”
Tony finally set his cup down on the table, finished fighting with the sludge, and looked at at the woman with a playful grin, “Likely to be really upset once we get going, then…”
William grinned as well, “Well, we’ll get there as we get there. So, is Skynet running things here?”
The engineer blinked and cocked her head a little in her confusion, “Skynet? Um…” Her words trailed off as she tried to decipher the meaning.
William sighed, “Artificial intelligence. Is there one running the ship?”
Allyson shook off her confusion, “Oh, uh, no. Of course there are still core hook-ups, but the company didn’t recruit one. There are some smart systems, but they don’t come up to AI levels.”
William nodded, slowly and resignedly. He looked at the other older men, “Okay, so I guess I’ll be spending my time hacking while you guys get to have some actual fun.” He looked back to the engineer and started to get up out of his chair, feeling the ache in his lower back. “Well, let’s get me to a terminal, and rummage up some walkies so we can keep in contact.”
-=-=-=-=-=-
William glowered at the large touchscreen that sat angled on its adjustable armature, and muttered, “What fresh hell is this operating system?”
The Dravitian Captain at the nearby navigation station on the ship’s bridge looked over, “Sir, this is the newest release of the Efficient Interface. While you are viewing it in Terran Standard, it is optimized for the Dravitian language.”
William shook his head, “So other than these cosmetic changes that I can get to in settings, where can I actually get to control configurations?”
The Captain pulled back its head in surprise, “What? You can’t change the control configurations! They are all optimized!”
William sighed and shook his head, “You jammed the ‘economy’ button down, so we can’t get to the ‘power’ button. Right…” He tapped open the program that accessed the file storage and began examining what was there.
After a few minutes of the bridge crew watching the Terran scroll and tap and curse in a low voice, William let out a exuberant, “Got you, you bastard!” On the touchscreen, a simple text box came up, indicating that it was a Root Command Shell, with a blinking block cursor.
William’s fingers flew over the virtual keyboard on the angled touchscreen, and another window bloomed on the screen. He slid it off to the side, then continued to tap and another window popped up. He slid it off to the top corner of the screen. In each of the windows, progress bars slid slowly from one side to another, character strings rolling down past the bottom of the window, the screen indicator on the scroll bar on the side getting smaller and smaller as the list grew and grew.
The Captain leaned over from its workstation and observed the workings on the Terran’s screen, “What is all that? I’ve never seen this option in the interface.”
William chuckled, still typing commands in the first window, “Oh, it’s a command line interface. They just slapped your interface over the military OS, and that still had lots of useful modules and programs in archive. I can bypass the ‘pretty’ GUI you guys use and actually get to controls.” He paused, “Holy hell! They left a media archive in here. Let’s get that unpacked right now!”
A new window popped up on the touchscreen, with another progress bar. William brought up yet another window, and worked inside it, and the progress bars started to move across their respective windows faster.
The Captain cocked its head, “Sir, I find fault in your judgement that what we need in this situation is media. The Jaxorians are not known for their imaginative capabilities.” It paused, “And I think your tasks are slowing down the computational processors, which again, I find fault with in these circumstances.”
William chuckled, “Well, sure it will seem slower. I made all my operations high priorities for the processors. And you can’t expect us to do our best work in silence. We’ll need a good jam.”
-=-=-=-=-=-
Allyson led the three older men through the hatch into the huge engineering bay where the three reactors were lined up with the longitudinal axis of the ship. Aft of those, the floor fell away beyond a safety railing, so that the bulk of the four huge engines could be accessed by a network of ladders, platforms, and gantries. Most of the floor was clear, but here and there hatches, tools, and parts lay askew on the deck, and wires and tube of various sizes and colors snaked between components in a way that belied the hasty, jury-rigged engineering tasks that had been recently undertaken. A couple of insectoid engineers were working on maintaining parts of the unstable system.
“And this is the playground,” offered Allyson as she spread her arms to indicate the whole open area. “We’ve got four Hammond LS-V-3400 ion drives backed by three of the Niagara-class fusion reactors. I’ve, uh, removed some of the safeties on the engines and tweaked the safety specs on the reactors, so we’re making just over five percent above rated maximum speed.”
Tony walked away from the others to lean against the safety railing and take in the sight of the engines.
Peter glanced around the area, then noticed the machining and fabrication tools and sauntered over to inspect them, hands tucked in his pockets and his boots scuffing the floor.
The two Dravitian technicians looked up from their work momentarily, apraising the Terrans, but staying quiet.
AJ made his way over to the reactors, and frowned as he looked at the readouts showing that the reactors were running hot, right on the edge of red-line. “Cutting these pretty fine.”
Allyson nodded as she looked over toward the tall man and started slowly walking toward him, “Um, yeah. I couldn’t figure out a good way to get more output from the engines, so I was just trying to route more power through them. These are still safe, but they’ll be burning up the plating faster than they should.”
AJ nodded and continued perusing, leaning down to look into an open hatch and seeing how one of the patched in high-energy line had been connected.
Tony continued to watch the engines and called, “Hey, Allyson, these still work with Cherenkov dispersal for additional thrust?”
Allyson quickly changed her trajectory to veer away from reactors and back toward the engines, “Uh, yeah, they do. There are controllers in there that help to make the emissions more directional.” She got to the railing and pointed at an orange ring that was visible on each engine right near the aft bulkhead. “Those big electromags help control the dispersal. I have plans and simulations on the computer if you want to see how they work.”
Tony peered in the indicated direction, then nodded and turned toward Allyson, “Yeah, get me to a terminal with some VR goggles and I’ll take a lo-” His voice cut off at the sudden sound from the engineering bay’s speakers.
A syncopated drum beat sounded over the hum of the machinery, then came an almost gravelly yell-singing voice. ”Come on, feel the noise. Girls, rock your boys. We’ll get wild, wild, wild.”
Allyson’s surprised gaze swept up to the big speakers mounted in the corners of the room by the ceiling.
Grins and smiles grew on the faces of the three older men, and they all joined in with the words as an electric guitar sawed into being and the rest of the band added their voices to the lead singer on a response answer of “Wild, wild, wild!” And then the drums picked up and the rest of the instruments kicked in, bringing the song fully into swing.
The singer continued as Peter’s hands played air-drums over a CNC machine’s working space, ”So you think I got an evil mind. I tell you, honey, I don’t know why. I don’t know why.”
Allyson had never heard the song, but the beat was compelling, and it somehow invigorated the men in a way she hadn’t expected. Just out of cold sleep, in the midst of an inevitable chase, with such limited resources, they were singing along with smiles on their faces. AJ was tapping on a reactor interface, and Peter was almost dancing as he poked about her workbench storage space, going over her tools, a screwdriver and electric ratchet stem in his hands as drumsticks for his air-drums.
The Dravitian technicians huddled in a fearful pose at the sudden noise.
Tony grinned widely at Allyson’s surprise, and said loudly over the music, “William’s got good taste for montage music… Show me that terminal.”
-=-=-=-=-=-
The Captain looked over to the Terran’s workspace which was now exhorting somebeing to ‘get wild, wild, wild’ over and over again. It seemed to have some detrimental affect on the older Terran, as its head was bobbing up and down as it continued to work with the code. The insectoid in command just had to say something. “Excuse me, sir. Are you sure that the distracting audio stimulation is beneficial for you? It does not seem to be related to your current task …”
William glanced over at the Dravitian, “Look, bug-boy, the music keeps my endorphins up, and tricks me into thinking I still have all the energy of a teenager. You’re just lucky that I know what my crew likes, and that this archive is low on industrial music.” He pauses and types intensely, then continues, “So no, it’s not related, but if you really want a chance to get away from those crab-guys, this music tips the scales in our favor, okay?”
The Captain abruptly looked back to its console. “Affirmative answer, sir.”
William nodded to himself, and cocked his head as he read something off the screen. “So, a bunch of the cargo is plasma generators for terraforming?” He looked over to the insectoid who was pointedly not looking at him. “Are those things as dangerous as they sound?”
-=-=-=-=-=-
“Hey guys!” William’s voice echoed from the big loudspeakers in the engineering bay as the song came to an end.
“Yo boss!” Peter called up toward the ceiling from the tool bench where he had accumulated a selection of choice tools.
“I got control of the control code up here. Some of it’s military code under all this glossy shit. What have you guys got back there?”
Tony stood amidst a holographic simulation of an engine, and called out, “We got some damped down ion engines. The design is like the old McPherson Mark Five, and I think I can flare ‘em up the same way. Gimme six hours or so.”
AJ looked up toward the ceiling after Tony finished, “These fusion reactors are running flat out, Bill. I’m thinking about patching up a capacitor bank so we can push things farther, or at least have some extra power when we need it. Three or four hours, depending on how easy I can find the parts.” he paused, “And I’m officially putting in a request for you to put something dance-able on your wheel of steel.”
Peter called out, “And I’m just waiting for these slackers to tell me what they need. But I’m all tooled up for just about anything they want.” He grinned playfully at the other two.
William’s chuckle came over the speaker, “Gotcha. Those sound like good projects. We get a powerful flare, we’ve got a chance to run.” He paused, “Allyson, you there too?”
Allyson, still near the holographic engine display, had been turning her head this way and that to try and follow the conversation and understand what the forming plan of the ‘troubleshooters’ was. She forced herself to call out, “Yes, Dr. Exeter.”
William’s voice came from the speakers, “Okay, Allyson, I need you to take Pete down to Cargo Bay Three and help him uncrate all of the plasma terraforming engines you can find there. Pete, I want those things sky-side against the outer wall of Bay Two and fastened in place. If we need power for them, I want you to run a line back to AJ’s source, and it will need to be vacuum sealed. We’re likely to depressurize that bay so try not to make too many unnecessary holes, okay?” He paused, “And don’t worry, that bay has some speakers too. I won’t leave you silent …”
Peter grinned and nodded, then started to load tools onto a nearby hovercart. As he worked, he called out, “On it, boss! Do they have any Ramones or Dead Kennedys or anything with more energy in that jukebox? That’s my request, Mr. DJ.”
William’s voice carried his chuckle, “I’m on it, guys. I’ll keep you updated, you guys let me know the word. Out.”
As the beats of New Order’s Blue Monday started to bounce around the engineering bay, Peter looked over at Allyson, “Hey, give me a hand with some of this. We need to bounce!”
Allyson registered the words and jogged across the bay to the hovercart, “Sorry, sir, we have to ‘bounce’?”
Peter chuckled, still pulling tools from the bench to add to the load. “We have to get moving. Can we bring that welder and thermal lance, or is there a better option?”
Allyson let out a quiet ‘oh’, then shook her head, “There’s a backpack unit that can cut and weld. Much easier to move.” She pulled open a a nearby locker.
Peter grinned, “Oh, sweet! Are there two?”

Author note: The Cryopod to Hell is a Reddit-exclusive story with over three years of editing and refining. As of this post, the total rewrite is 2,204,000+ words long! For more information, check out the link below:
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...................................
(Previous Part)
(Part 001)
A few days after Neil and Hope's meeting.
Henry Cliff walks alone down the hallways of the Labyrinth. He wears a purple-colored T-REX, a status symbol put in place by the higher-ups as a sign of his newfound prestige and military ranking. Its color, as well as the other new colors among the army allow for a quick idea of the ranking of any human soldier at a glance, especially among those who don't know the humans well, such as their allies for today.
Henry's feet quietly plod against the Labyrinth's compacted dirt floor. His breathing remains even despite having walked for over thirty minutes. Thanks to his newly enhanced body, he could run for a thousand kilometers without breaking a sweat. Even he isn't entirely certain just how strong he is. Perhaps, if he were to come to blows with a Demon Emperor, he might roll them out like a sleeping bag.
As he walks, Henry's newfound clarity of purpose mixes with the voices and thoughts of ten thousand other members of Jepthath's Legion. No, more accurately, they are Henry's Legion, now. While their power might be derived from Jepthath, it was the Hero-King's decision to give Henry command of them and become his Voice.
Each person who joined on that day possessed their own thoughts, feelings, and talents. Their combined cumulative experience, which could now be tapped into at will, easily amounted to more than 350,000 years. If the age of every person who merged had been 10, that would have given them 100,000 years, but the fact the average turned out to be 35 elevated their cumulative total dramatically.
And that was to say nothing of the people who had once been a part of Jepthath's Legion in the past. When Henry first became inducted into the Legion, he was shocked by just how much wisdom Jepthath possessed. While he did not have the truly unfathomable and vast breadth of knowledge Solomon possessed, Jepthath was amazing in his own way. What he lacked in raw information, he made up in with mastery of combat.
If Solomon possessed the combined cumulative knowledge of humanity, Jepthath possessed its raw hand-to-hand fighting prowess. And that served to bolster Henry's state of mind significantly.
Just by integrating into the Legion, Henry's ability to peer into the essence of combat increased ten thousand-fold. Over the last few days, he had happened to pass by several different training grounds for humanity's soldiers on Maiura, most of them having been erected at some point by Neil Adams in the past six years. Henry was not impressed by what he saw. If anything, he was disgusted.
[Their movements are so crude. So lacking in refinement.] He would often think, while conversing with the ancient Hero-King. [I want to train them. I can't stand to imagine them using their sloppy combat skills against old demon monsters.]
[A waste of time.] Jepthath would chide gently, whenever he and Henry had this conversation. [The knowledge you have obtained effortlessly cannot be communicated through words or demonstrations. The only way one can become as proficient as the members of Our Legion is by directly transferring Our combined knowledge through Our souls and minds.]
[Then we have to convince more to join Us!] Henry would exclaim. [These fools are wasting their time flailing about, trying to reinvent the wheel. If they joined Us, they would gain all of Our power in the art of war and become capable of adding to Our collective consciousness!]
Jepthath shakes his head. [I made a deal with the Wordsmith. We will not forcibly recruit anyone. If you wish to convince more to join Us, you must demonstrate Our power. Not only do you possess knowledge of countless schools of fighting, but you also possess intimate knowledge of battlefield tactics and guerrilla warfare. By demonstrating that Knowledge is Power, you can enlighten the foolish masses as to what they are missing out on.]
Henry nodded sincerely at that time. He looked up at the night sky and clenched his fist with determination.
Humanity was wasting its capabilities! If other humans only knew how small and frail they were, they would jump at the chance to join the Legion!
Less than a week before, Henry had been a disgraced soldier, a mere civilian, a person who might never even get the opportunity to shine the boots of those he had once trained with.
But now he was an officer, an elite warrior many would come to fear and respect.
This realization made his heart leap and his throat dry. In many ways, he sometimes felt he didn't deserve this position. He certainly hadn't earned it.
Not yet. Someday he would. Someday soon.
His thoughts come back to the present. He continues walking, ultimately falling into step beside an ordinary human commando also donning a T-REX. A small artistic flourish on the side of her armor, a pink rose, hints to him the other soldier might be a woman.
The grey-armored soldier turns her head to look at him as she walks. "Oh! You startled me. And you are?"
Unable to see her face, Henry looks at her helmet instead, and her name and other information pop up in his HUD, allowing him to see her identity.
"I'm Lieutenant Henry Cliff." He says. "You're Private Ashley McCarthy? Aren't you the lady who can transform into an orc?"
Immediately, her previously formal tone turns cold. Ashley snaps her head forward, no longer looking at him.
"Every time. Every time! Is that all I am anymore? Just the ugly bitch who turns into an orc?!"
"Whoa, whoa!" Henry exclaims, taken aback by her response. "I'm sorry, uh, Miss McCarthy. I didn't mean to apologize- I mean, I didn't apologize- mean to offend you! I- I uh, sorry!"
He stumbles over his words, feeling suddenly ashamed that he spoke so bluntly without considering the other person's feelings. Then again, how could he have known it was such a sore subject for her? That thought also makes him feel unfairly slighted, as he committed a blunder without meaning to.
"No, no I'm sorry." Ashley quickly says, suddenly realizing how rudely she just spoke to a superior officer. "It's not your fault, Lieutenant. I, I just... it's a long story. I never asked for this ability. I hate it."
"You hate it?" Henry asks, as they round a corner, passing a dozen goblins who carefully press against the side-wall to avoid the giant humans. "Pardon my bluntness, but why? In this time of war, possessing an orc form must make you pretty strong. Valuable. You could be on the fast-track to a higher rank if you have any ambition."
"Higher rank." Ashley mutters under her breath. "As if that's something I'd want. I'm not some big brained Terran from Old Earth. I'm just a normal girl from one of the Wild Worlds. I only want to be pointed at an enemy so I can hurt them."
That sounds an awful lot like something an orc would say, Henry thinks, but wisely keeps to himself.
"Does turning into an orc make you stronger?" Henry asks, choosing to turn the discussion down a more positive path.
"Oh, sure. A bit stronger." Ashley concedes. "You know how the Body Booster improves a human's baseline physique, putting some of us on par with certain low-ranking Demon Lords? Well, my Orc transformation stacks on that, sort of. I can pick up and throw boulders pretty far."
She pauses, before adding, "I mean, it is really fun being that strong."
Henry reaches up to rub his chin, only for his hand to clank against his T-REX's helmet. He gives up on the idea and lowers his arm again.
"I recently got a, uh, a pretty substantial boost to my strength. You remember how Commander Hope offered for people to merge with the Hero Jepthath? I did that, and it made me a lot stronger."
He turns to look at the woman beside him, but she simply gazes forward, her helmet offering no insight into her current expression.
Her words, however, definitely give away what she's thinking.
"Oh. You're one of the cultists."
Her disappointed tone makes Henry's heart skip a beat.
"No, no, no!" Henry exclaims. "Not a cultist. Who told you that?? Jepthath's Legion have simply unified Our minds and bolstered Our bodies, making Us a lot stronger."
She remains quiet for a few moments.
"Yeah... that's... what a cultist would say."
"We're not a cult..." Henry protests feebly, but his words fall on deaf ears.
This isn't the first time someone has directed a look of disgust his way, or visibly cringed when he proudly declared himself one of Jepthath's Chosen.
Jason's words during the Great Debate made a lot of people immediately strike becoming a Parahuman off their list. They'd rather be ordinary soldiers in body armor rather than part of a weird, unified hive-mind.
Dismayed, the young man falls silent. He doesn't say anything for a full minute, and perhaps feeling bad about dismissing him so easily, Ashley decides to reignite the conversation as they draw closer to their destination.
"So what's it like. Being inside a, uh... hive mind? Is it weird?"
"We're not a hive-mind." Henry says, his mood deflating even further. "We're... we're like brothers and sisters. We understand one another. We share thoughts, insights, wisdom."
This time, Ashley tries to exercise a little tact. "It just doesn't sound right for me. I guess everyone has their own preferences. Me, I think I'd die of shame if everyone around me could hear my every thought. The embarrassment alone..."
She trails off and shakes her head.
But this time, Henry doesn't just back down.
"It's not what you think at all." Henry says. "Do you know why you feel fear at the thought of sharing your thoughts? It's because you're self-absorbed."
"What?!" Ashley exclaims, pausing her walk to look at him. No doubt, her helmet hides an expression of disbelief. "What do you mean by that... sir?"
Henry also pauses. He turns to face her, resting his hands on his hips. "You have friends, right? Maybe even a best friend?"
"O-of course!" Ashley says, her tone defensive. "What, you think I'm friendless just because I'm not a part of some bee-hive?"
"That's not what I'm getting at." Henry says patiently, holding out his hand and modulating his tone so he'll come off less aggressive. "Think about your friend, or your best friend. Really think about it. What's the most embarrassing thing you remember about him or her? What's the worst social gaffe they've made that you can't get out of your head?"
Ashley pauses. She lowers her head and falls into thought for a moment.
"I don't know. I can't think of anything. Why?"
"What about other people?" Henry asks. "Has anyone else you know made any serious social fuck-ups recently?"
"Social ones? No. There have been a few generally bad events recently, like finding out Baron Mara killed a bunch of people. But she's not my friend anyway, so..."
"THAT is my point." Henry states emphatically. "You don't think about the weird and embarrassing things your friends do. So why do you believe they're so fixated on yours?"
Ashley lifts her head to look at him. She remains silent, digesting his words, so he continues to press the issue.
"Do you know why you find things about yourself embarrassing? It's not your fault. Most people are extremely self-conscious about their own insecurities. Now that I've become a part of the Legion, I experience everyone else's insecurities all at the same time as I experience mine. In doing so, I realize that mine never amounted to anything at all. When you have ten thousand other people worrying about what they're wearing, or if they look fashionable, or some other tedious bullshit, you quickly realize that all of them amount to white noise. They don't matter."
He throws his hand up dramatically.
"I'm not picking on you. It's just a fact of human consciousness. All people are held back by their fear of social pressure, but much of that is because we don't know what goes on in the heads of our fellow men and women. If you could see their deranged sexual fantasies all at once, you would realize you're not weird at all. Everyone has a kink. If you enjoy looking at gross bugs, guess what? Someone else is unbothered by bodily fluids. We're all weird, and joining the Legion just made that clearer to me."
He pauses, unable to see the look on her face. "Sorry, I hope I'm not coming off as condescending. Does any of this make sense to you?"
Ashley slowly nods. "Mmm. Yeah, it does."
Henry heaves a sigh of relief. "Well, great! Great. I was worried I was starting to sound a little long-winded."
Ashley turns away and resumes walking. "You're definitely in a cult."
"Goddammit." Henry grumbles.
...
Before long, the two of them make it to the meeting location, where they arrive inside a massive, hollowed-out area inside the Labyrinth. There, they find, of all things, a new Volgrim Warpgate installed, its destination some unknown desert on a planet Henry can't immediately identify.
As they enter the massive arena-like staging area, Hope becomes momentarily disoriented. His newly enhanced senses pick up surges of spiritual energy, all spread out across the humans, demons, monsters, and other creatures inside. The powerful Demon Emperors, only a few of whom have yet to Ascend to Demon Deity, stand near the portal, using their strength as a show of force. Despite their proud expressions, Henry's keen senses detect a hint of fear in their eyes, as they seem to be unable to properly stand as strong as they always have. It's as if they are being suppressed by something...
"Whoa!" Ashley gasps. "I can't believe it. Why are the Volgrim here?"
"The Volgrim?" Henry asks, following her gaze based on the direction her helmet is pointed.
Somewhere in the mass of the crowd, a handful of decidedly alien-looking creatures with tentacles writing under their mouths and heavily-armored bodies stand at attention, looking like proud leaders and commanders. Their postures indicate a level of arrogance bred into their bones by millions of years of dominance over the Milky Way. Compared to the slightly fearful Demon Emperors, these Technopaths truly stand out as cream of the crop, with unknown augmentations that likely elevate their combat prowess to the peak.
"Those are Volgrim?" Henry asks. "Huh. The only one I've ever seen was that one female, the one who didn't have a mouth. She was presiding over my, uh, my tribunal..."
"Your tribunal?" Ashley asks.
She pauses, then turns to look at him strangely.
"Cliff... Henry Cliff? What the- you're that traitor! What- how even...?? You're a Lieutenant now? I didn't even recognize your name- no, forget that. Why are you in uniform? Weren't you banned basically forever from rejoining the military?"
"I was banned from rejoining the main military." Henry says, lowering his head in shame. "But, uhm, Hope's Parahumans are... different. It's a different jurisdiction."
Ashley takes a step to the side, pulling away from him. He can't see her expression, but based on her voice, she suddenly seems disgusted by him.
"All this time, I was talking to him." She mutters to herself, as she turns and walks away without another word.
Henry stands there, silently. He watches her depart, a feeling of bitterness welling up in his heart. He could pull rank on her, write her up for insubordination. Given his new status as a high-ranker, it would be easy to do.
But he doesn't.
In truth, he doesn't blame Ashley for her feelings. Because of his actions, Neil Adams was captured and humanity likely lost far more people during Stormbringer as a result. He indirectly caused the deaths of hundreds, perhaps even thousands.
How can he demand respect from her when he feels he doesn't deserve it?
As that thought wells up in Henry's mind, the thoughts of the Legion feed back into him, suppressing his negative emotions. All of them comment on his feelings and insecurities, offering kind words to help him feel better.
[You cannot and should not demand respect, no, but you can earn it back through your actions.] A 52-year-old Legionnaire says. [People like her will come around in due time. Perform admirably and make the Legion proud.]
[That woman is a mere Private.] Jepthath chimes in. [Do not allow your emotions to be tangled up by the feelings of a random soldier. You will need to bolster your Willpower if you seek to reach the peak of what you can achieve.]
[Right. My willpower.] Henry says, as his mood drastically swings back up. He hardens his heart, casting aside Ashley's comment and instead meditating for a moment to clear his mind. [Thank you, everyone, for the support.]
With his thoughts clear, Henry strides toward the front, keeping his gaze fixed on the Volgrim Technopaths. Having never seen these creatures before, he finds their horrid-looking tentacle mouths fascinating and yet creepy to look at. While all of them appear to be gender-ambiguous, certainly at first glance, as he comes closer, he does manage to make out one or two female-sounding voices among them. Or perhaps they might be higher-pitched males. He isn't entirely sure, and it seems a taboo subject to breach.
"-the Task Force will be working alongside these Technopath Envoys." Demon Emperor Yardrat says, his tone even and unbothered by the Technopaths to his left. "Naturally, full command of this operation will still go to the Archdemon, as the ranking Cosmic. However, because he will be busy dealing with the highest level threats, control of the ground forces will go to one member of each species, chosen via several votes of consensus. Today's operation is a test, and its purpose is to ensure we all work together properly. NO friendly fire. Our enemy is the Plague and nobody else. Save your personal grievances, vendettas, and petty squabbles for after we take our galaxy back from the Kolvaxians."
He gestures to the ten Technopaths. "The Volgrim have dispatched an army of 100,000 Technopath soldiers, and they will be commanded by this High Technopath named Loputo Jidelor, a high ranking commander of Clan Symmetra's ground forces."
Each of the Technopaths possesses their own combination of flesh and blood bodily parts mixed with metal limb replacements, armor-addons, and other such things. In Jidelor's case, he stands on two flesh and blood legs. However, in place of his right arm is a long, metallic limb with dozens of razor-thin threads waving to and fro where his 'wrist' ends. Each one moves independently, much like the tentacles on his left arm, but their movements appear far more precise. Dozens of metallic pieces are attached seemingly at random to his skin and skull.
Jidelor nods. "I am an experienced battlefield commander, but I am not a frontline soldier. I will be controlling our siege weaponry and directing our soldiers from the back."
Yardrat nods, then continues. "For the Demons, it goes without saying that just like with the last ten operations, Emperor Serena will be commanding our forces. Her ability to link souls together has proven instrumental in rapid battlefield communications, and her ability to sense souls allows her to keep up with the emergence of new Plagueborn until the point Diablo steals the world core back."
A beautiful demoness with sightless eyes nearby waves her hand delicately. "I will be in your care, everyone. Let us make it to the end without losing any demons this time."
"For the monsters, Fairy Princess Melia will take point." Yardrat says, nodding to another beautiful woman with green hair, fairy wings, and a look of boredom permanently etched onto her face.
Unlike the previous two commanders, Melia doesn't give a speech. In fact, she only rolls her eyes, crosses her arms, and looks away.
"Alright, and for the humans, General Chadwick will be taking charge." Yardrat concludes. He gestures to a massive Norwegian man who has now donned a Rhino T-REX variant and rests his hands around the shaft of a massive battleaxe. Its head rests on the ground, and he supports his massive armored frame by resting on the weapon's handle.
"Everyone." Chadwich says. "It is my honor to lead this mission. Naturally, Commander Neil is not happy about having to work with the demons, and I cannot imagine all of our soldiers are either. However, I pledge on Hope Hiro's honor that we will not commit any cowardly deeds of treachery, any backstabbing, or anything else of that sort! It was Hope Hiro who pushed for this arrangement because he wants humanity's soldiers to get real battle experience against the Plague. Let's be sure to make good use of this time to bury as many hatchets as we can!"
The crowd nods along to Chadwick's words. Some of the humans vocalize their approval, but many more remain silent.
The humans here are not normal civilians. They are military personnel, countless many of whom have not forgiven the demons. They may never forgive them, if their leaders are being honest.
Perhaps sensing the tenseness in the air, Yardrat briskly moves the pace along.
"In thirty minutes, we will begin. Transfer your forces to my world so that I can begin preparation to open the Intragalactic Portals. The Swarm has begun adapting to my tactics of late, so the moment those portals open, we'll need boots on the ground. No delays! If the Plague has its way, it might flood through the portals back to us, and that would be a whole bloody devil-damned mess."
The other leaders nod solemnly. They spread apart to talk to their forces, and Henry heaves a sigh.
In thirty minutes, we'll find out just how stable this alliance truly is.