Just need opinions and advice. https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1LvS_qFX0ze4sULIDOQCIqIFD4W4TwFbc

Hope this is okay to post, just running out of steam here.
I know tech is a massively saturated industry right now and Eugene with having the UofO isn't the best market on top of that, but figured I'd ask.
I got let go from my job last year supporting all 1500~ stores of a major retailer. Since then I've struggled to find anything even remotely comparable, remote or not. I can SOME entry level help desk jobs but am even getting passed up for those.
Just curious if anyone might have any leads. I'm happy to share my resume/more details if it helps...

Hey, I’m a 21 year old guy and I’m moving to Australia in June on a Holiday Work Visa. I’ve got a pretty expansive resume and I think I probably have a lot of entry level options for working in Australia.
The thing is I’m a driver and that’s what I like to do. I’ve worked pizza delivery, automotive parts delivery, and just random delivery for a long time.
I was wondering if I can drive for work in Australia with my Canadian Drivers License? Or if I’d need an international drivers license, or if it’s even possible at all?
Thank you!

Hey guys, I have been looking on and off for an entry level full time job for a couple years and haven’t had much luck.
To be blunt, I know I’m not an amazing candidate. After failing out of school years ago and working various part time jobs, I got my degree in Media Arts. The issue is that I probably didn’t specialize as much as I should have in one specific thing. I have experience with several types of jobs, but I’m not really an expert in anything. I know a lot about shipping and customer service, I’m just kind of an okay graphic designer and video editor, and I’ve also done Administrative Assistant work for a large financial company.
I decided to update my resume to be a bit more ATS compliant and have started looking for any kind of entry level job that would be looking for some skills I have. Administrative assistant, logistics, customer service, generic social media/marketing stuff, etc. I’m also working on making my portfolio website now that I have more to showcase even if it is only average quality at best.
Was hoping to get some feedback on this to see what I can improve on to hopefully make me more attractive to employers. Thanks guys!

I've recently made my first real resume that I'll properly be using. I ran it through an AST scanner to make sure it's works and it does.
I'm a game programmer, currently doing freelance but thinking about trying out a more stable corporate job, no preference over triple A or indie. I'd go for an entry level role.
Thanks in advance!
https://preview.redd.it/09cs98ujg80d1.jpg?width=2550&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d6814590ecb2cd88cbe959a6bae0fc5df55d5ae8

I just graduated with my bachelor’s degree and have been applying to jobs for the past 5 months or so. I know the job market is horrible right now but I am worried my resume is part of the reason I have had no luck.
We built résumés in an internship course and created them with InDesign. A few months later I worked with my university’s career center and they told me I should create a basic, one-column resume in word so I don’t get filtered out with my stylized design. I have been applying with that basic resume since then and I haven’t seen any difference in the response rate.
I also shared my resume with someone who currently has 13 years of experience in digital media/video production and he suggested I go back to a stylized, two-column design.
So basically, I’m just curious what design advice everyone would suggest I follow as an entry level designer.

TL;DR: I am applying for entry level software engineer roles, how can I improve my current resume?? Am I not applying enough?? and Is is possible that my resume is not going through ATS because I made it through Overleaf???
Hello, I graduate from college in June 2023. I took a pause on job searching in October to Feburary because I needed to take care of my uncle who had cancer. Since his passing, I have been applying again for entry/intern software engineer positions. I applied to 137 jobs, but I had no luck in getting any interviews. Am I not applying enough?
I understand that my lack of internship experiences makes me not the best candidate in this competitive market. I am working on that by taking more classes and doing more projects. How I can improve my current resume besides that?? And on top of that, I created the resume using overleaf, will that makes it not going through ATS??? Any advice will help me a lot, thank you!!
The main job board I search on is Linkedin. I used keyterms: ("Entry" OR "New Grad" OR "Junior" ) AND ("Software Engineer" OR "Software Developer" OR "Software" OR "developer" OR "frontend" OR "backend").
https://preview.redd.it/6ilkdtr8e80d1.jpg?width=791&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ec019c9ab763b74d6dd127839e30244dc033b67b
https://preview.redd.it/mpj6fhb9e80d1.jpg?width=791&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=197a1b71ff6a2b492b179465f101b30ff06a1875

Just got fired from a hardware store after 3 hours for not learning the cash quick enough. Barely any customers for me to learn and when we did get them there was a small squad to rush through and I was told to 'take my time' because when I tried to rush I kept messing up since it was my first day.
Turns out he didn't read my resume to throughly either and assumed I had more experience on cash then just those stupid subway POS's and clover. I feel so dragged on because I felt like I was given positive enough encouragement (which yes, I now realize isn't meant to be taken seriously but just to make me comfortable.) that I would've gotten a hang of it by the end of my shift had I not been told to go home for good after my break.
I could just not be used to the real world, my old job was probably too kind with letting me stay as long as I did. But expecting an 18yr old to learn an entirely new cash register system that they aren't used to in 3hrs with minimal customers seems a bit high?
My employment counselor thought making me look more 'hireable' would be a good idea but then they expect too much from me, especially for my age. So I'm going to go back to my old one, while it doesn't get me jobs I haven't ever had to waste my time with so many people due to it. This is the second job I've been fired from after my first shift, I'm just not fit for the working life since I can't learn or process fast.
I thought retail was supposed to be something you couldn't exactly get fired from? I know I'm obviously not fit for it now, but what kind of entry level job would I be fit for if I can't seem to learn in 3 hours.
I'm just going to go back to searching and hope someday I'll manage to learn quick enough, also going to start getting into shape because the way it's looking I'll have to start walking 5 hours to the city and back if I want to have any sort of money.

I'm interested in the success rate and the amount of time it took to find a willing employer, specifically in finding a job whether it's an entry/intermediate position. I read a post about 6 months old but comments seemed to be mixed(https://www.reddit.com/codingbootcamp/comments/17rih1k/do_not_waste_money_on_a_bootcamp_get_a_degree/?sort=top & https://www.reddit.com/codingbootcamp/comments/17lvjty/only_221_of_my_cohort_have_found_employment_8/). I am not under the delusion that a BootCamp certificate is preferable to a BS degree in CS, however, instead I believe I can compensate with experience and a strong resume. I can clearly see how successful a BS degree has gotten my brother 1st-hand; however, it is not the path I would like to take as I feel I am a strong self-learner and would instead prefer to get certification to work entry-level CS-related jobs. I know it's easier said than done and I will most likely have to put in double if not triple the effort compared to someone with a BS degree job hunting.
Let me know if you found a job thanks to BC certification with this poll and your comments, thanks!
View Poll

Hi there! I'm in A2. Scored 8A*s in IGCSE & 2AS 2BS in AS level. My A2 journey was going smooth until the December 2023. It was the time I got into university applications. I applied like 35 places across USA, Europe, Asia, and got into 21 places. For the context, I got into reputable places like NYU, Uni of Helsinki, Uni of Amsterdam, Uni of Nottingham, etc. However, securing an admission, getting scholarships, but at the end, the finances I had weren't enough for me or my parents to fund my dream of foreign undergrad. Two months of tireless essays writings, application process, research, sitting infront of laptop screen all night with a hope I can get into a good uni abroad, it all got wasted at the end. None of the unis gave me enough that would enable my parents to pay the rest. I got into the depression, especially because of NYU. It had the acceptance rate of just below 7% for the class of 2028, i did not only got into the place i used to manifest as a teen, but also was lucky to secure a 55k USD aid per year, which wasn't enough. But as they say, too close yet to far.
Came the month of Feb, 24, it was all certain that my dream of studying undergrad abroad is over. I had to settle in my own country for the undergrad; I'm from Pakistan btw. Here, admissions are based on the entry tests at universities which come from local board syllabus not much from A-levels. I decided to appear for entry test of NUST, a local engineering university. There was NOTHING in the test that same similar to A-levels content. I did really bad. But, the good thing was that in order to secure an admission, the weightage criteria is 25% of IGCSE result + 75% of entry test marks. They don't count A2 if u are NOT on gap year.
From feb to march, I nailed the local board syllabus; A-levels kept getting ignored. I went to give the entry test, it went BAD again despite me cramming the local board syllabus by my heart. I resumed A-levels back in April. I'm now at a point that:
1) I can't go abroad for U-grad despite the admissions
2) Not well prepared for local uni admission tests cuz their test syllabus is local board stuff not CAIE. I'm not used to local board cramming based learning
3) I've destroyed my A-levels. My exams are going really sh*t. I don't discuss my paper with friends. I'm leaving questions in the exams. I feel like I'm absent when the question comes up. I messed up chem p4, physics p4 I'm expecting 45+, S1 I'm expecting 30+.
NEVER IN MY LIFE I'VE FELT SO MUCH DOWN. MAYBE GOD IS TRYING TO TEST ME. PLEASE PRAY THAT THE TEST FROM GOD FINISHES BEFORE I FINISH. AMEEN

I’m a rising Junior in college. As a student with no internship experience, i’m desperate to get one. I’ve been mass applying to all of them. Small companies, large companies, startups… etc. But something that I’ve seem to come across are these listings for ‘marketing’ internships that are a coverup for direct sales. I’ve had two interviews so far with two different small ‘marketing’ companies, and they both were very similar in what they do. They empathize heavily on commission based door-to-door sales for ATT and are trying to get you to become a manager as quickly as possible so you can be earning six figures by next year. So i’m going to do a break down on both of the companies so yall can keep on the look out for similar companies as a college student looking for quick opportunities.
The first company (calling it Happy Inc) They call themselves a ‘Marketing Agency’ on Google and their listings are named ‘Business Management Consulting’ and ‘Marketing’. Some key job responsibilities: ‘Like the hospitality industry, the primary purpose of the Business Management Consultant is to meet and exceed company sales goals in conjunction with cultivating a long-term relationship with our client’s customers’ ‘Understanding clients’ products to properly explain services and benefits to consumers and answer any questions so they get what they genuinely need’ They tried to hide their actual business model, but after the interview, I went back and it was kinda obvious they were a hinting at being direct sales. I just, again, desperate for internship experience. And after rejection after rejection, I jumped on the opportunity when someone actually wanted to conduct an interview with me. And this was the first one I had run into, so I had no knowledge on these companies. ——————————————————— The second company (Fresh Inc) hid it much better. But again, I should have known. They called themselves a ‘Consulting’ company on Google. Their listing title was ‘Customer Service Representative’. And encouraged greatly for you to apply if you have experience in retail, customer service, hospitality, or servehostess relations. During the first interview, they claimed they had three different departments: Sales, Marketing, and Management. They made it seem like it was all separate and that you were only doing the marketing portion. ——————————————————- Honestly, you would have thought it was the same company. They both had VERY similar business models, so here are a few exmaples:
Both did a very simple, easy going group zoom interview for the first round. Then did face to face for second round.
Both congratulated me on getting to second round claiming that ‘alot of people to get to this stage’.
Both spent an EXTRAORDINARY amount of time informing me about the business model, what exactly they do, the pay, and the schedule. It seems like they were trying to convince me to even join their team rather than me trying to convince them that I’m a good fit for their company.
Both had ATT as their biggest client and only focused on ATT. Which confused me. Because they both claimed that they had other companies they marketed for. If y’all are such a good company and market for others, why are we ONLY focusing on ATT?.. You just forgot about your other business clients because ATT is a big, known company? I believe that ATT is their only client and they both lied about marketing for others to seem more credible.
Both empathized that you will face ‘challenges’ whithin the company, especially in the field (aka the neighborhood) doing the sales. Which basically translated that people most likely close the door on your face, yell at you, wont answer the door, or will tell you to go away. Which is why I feel like they target people who have worked in retail/fast food, because they know you’ve probably gotten yelled at by a customer before.
As stated before, both are trying to get you to become a high paying manager within less than a year. It was actually ridiculous when they were trying to explain it. You do the entry level D2D sales for about 2-6 weeks, depending on your work ethic and determination of getting sales. Then you immediately get promoted to manager. Fresh Inc called them ‘campaign managers’ where you’re the ones training the entry level people to do sales, conducting interviews, etc. You do this for about 6-8 months. Then you start magically working with the higher ups and can get your own office to start your own business…
Both empathize on growth, experience, and success. And they also almost got me with this because that’s literally all im looking for. I don’t really mind the pay rate on any job (but i would not do commission). I just want to get an internship to get me in the business world and for my resume.
Speaking of pay, they both had salary pay rates on their applications. But in the 2nd round interviews, they quickly sneak in that you get commission pay only, up until the higher up position. Then they make it seem like its guaranteed that you’re going to make the sales and get money weekly at the highest rate you can (for entry level, they both estimated it to be: $500-$800).
Lastly, they both try to sell you the benefits of travel. Happy inc had just came back from Mexico for a team bonding experience, and Fresh Inc was going to Punta Canta the week after my interview. All expenses paid by ATT…
Also, I go to college in Texas. My mom recently just moved down here from our hometown in Saint Louis, MO. Yes, we have dealt with door salesmen in STL. But my mom said ever since she moved to Texas, there has been a plethora of people knocking on her door trying to sell her something. Also, the Happy Inc manager that was interviewing me told me that they still knock on doors that have the ‘no soliciting’ signs… The fact that people even have those signs show that this is a big thing down in Texas. Idk if it’s a location based thing, but it seems like its a common occurence down here in Texas.
Im not sure if this is considered a pyramid scheme. I have been doing research on these companies after after the Fresh Inc interview, and it seems like its been a thing for a while. But I just find it frustrating because I think I finally found a good opportunity after months of searching and piles of rejections and its just one of these… Please stay on the look out for these types of jobs.

I have weighed my options heavily into 2 sectors (Healthcare or Technology) *Not HARDWARE or IT*. I am individual who likes to be creative, hands on, work with a team. A lot of the fields I was looking into Tech: Ux,Software Development, App development are not looking so good for someone who doesn't have any experience at all. Or my entry level portfolio would not be able to complete with people who have years of professional experience. I would prefer to have an opportunity (job or internship) available as soon as I get through with studies or certs. I don't think I have an option of waiting 6 months or 9 months for employment. The healthcare field I am still exploring, but I know I don't want to do CNA,GNA, LPN (I've dealt with those type of patients before.) I heard about MRI,Surgical Tech they sound pretty decent so far (for only 2 year programs and hands on experience) Any one have an recommendations?

Good day!
I am hoping to obtain some guidance from Directors of Finance or Accounting Managers that work in the hotel industry. I've worked at the Front Desk for 8 years- Concierge, FD, Rooms Control, AFOM & GSM. I'm looking to make the change and move into a role that's less guest facing. Accounting seemed to intrigue me and I've been applying for entry level positions but my resume keeps getting passed over.
Should I continue to apply even though I dont have a 2 year college degree? Will I be able to move up the ranks in the hotel accounting world?

I am currently acca qualified with 4 years of experience in a small useless firm, and currently awaiting results for OBU bachelors degree
Has anyone pursued msc in professional accountancy from university of london ? ( can be done while working and via distance learning for 5000 pounds) and can be done within 6 months
Does a masters degree enhance the resume ? 5000 pounds will not hurt me financially , i am looking to do masters to just get interviews at bigger multinational companies
I plan on looking towards CFA/CPA later on , Butt these are all professional qualifications and i know will take a bit longer
Masters is an academic degree though , so does it increase chances of getting an interview though ?
I live in bahrain ( born here and an expat) , where the job market favors the locals and as an expat i am not even getting interviews at bigger multinational companies in Bahrain or bigger firms ( maybe 3-4 only)
The entry level roles at bigger companies are usually reserved for the local citizens in bahrain, which is one possible reason why i am stuck in small useless firm…..
I also plan on moving to the UAE
I am hoping for the masters to atleast be helpful in landing interviews the least

TL;DNR - I tweaked / lied my resume to get out of management. I’ll have a learning curve but hopefully my background will help. Follow your career goals , even if it’s taking a salary cut
Click bait lol; ok, I reverse lied on my resume. I’ve wanted to switch from an accounts receivable manager role for a few years to straight accounting.
Two problems I faced: 1. Lack of experience as an actual accountant (my accounting undergrad was 10 years ago). 2. I couldn’t afford a 30%-40% salary cut.
In the last couple years I’ve only been able to do contract work and last year my salary came in at about 30% lower than my prior 3-4 year average. In January I decided I was going to make the jump. I dummied down my resume in certain aspects; ie took the manager titles and replaced it with Analyst and was fortunate that I was able to add a staff accountant role to the last 2 years at my prior job.
As for responsibilities & experience? I put in what I’ve touched in my career, that I felt would be easier to learn, ie journal entries, reconciliations, invoicing. Those items would be responsibilities I used to over see, but being under a SOX environment I never did. I left out shit I’ve never done, ie bank recs.
In any one week, since I started interviewing about a month ago, I would have more recruiters reaching out to me for local or remote opportunities than I would have in 3-4 months searching for a credit manager / collections manage accounts receivable / otc manager role. I always said my job was a niche career unfortunately as not every one has an AR Manager for their receivables. Example? Does your company have an AR Mgr? It really has to be a company with more than $200M -$300M usd revenue, imho. I still applied to certain high level AR roles and in all this time had two opportunities; that they were interested in my; AR Director and AR Sr Mgr, BUT both required relocation (5 hrs and 2 hrs away). What was tempting was the salary, of course, but after going through numerous interviews with one interrelated on one I decided I wanted to do what was best for me and fuck the extra $30K - $40K. Long term I feel it was best to take a hair cut now on my salary and stick with the staff accountant plan.
Still reading? Lol.
In closing: 1. Follow what you really want to do in your career 2. Get that CPA - I did not. 3. Every company needs an accountant; not every company used a credit manager. Sometimes the AR function reports straight to the controller, etc. 4. It’s never too late. I’m in my 40’s. I felt kinda embarrassed applying for these roles requiring 2-3 year experience at the beginning.
Am I in over my head? My worries are journal entries And wondering how big their excel files are.
Here’s the highlights of the JD:
Enter daily cash activity, journal entries, reclasses, accruals, credit card transactions, and other transactions, as applicable. • Assist with month-end close by preparing journal entries and maintaining balance sheet reconciliations. • Review customer agreements and create invoices on a monthly basis • Support with credit process by interacting with third-party financial institutions and assisting with document exchange. • Assist with the accounts payable process, specifically entering invoices for payment, reviewing vendor credits, weekly payment reports, and matching invoices to purchase orders. • Review daily mail and correspondence. • Preparation of any ad-hoc reports that may arise to be provided by the Accounting team.

For me, I grew up really smart and involved in everything. Just about the best resume I could imagine coming out of high school (my Mom encouraged much of this).
But I had no idea what I wanted to do, nor did I know anything about college. I’m from the south, so I applied to Vanderbilt, a small liberal arts school and a state school.
I guess in my head I was always preparing for an ivy league, or just thought I would go to one. But when I realized they were ~$4-600,000 in tuition or whatever, it was hard to justify it (although my parents could have paid).
Vanderbilt waitlisted me, and I went to state school. On the same scholarship I could have gotten if I had done no resume building, had a 31 on the ACT (I had taken it 5 times to max out my score + a prep course), and a 3.0 GPA (mine was a 4.3 weighted for AP courses).
I guess I took that as a life lesson, because that really stuck with me in college.
I refused to do anything I didn’t actually like, but I couldn’t find much I liked. It was University of Alabama. Which is fine if you want to get drunk all the time and go to business school and try to make a butt ton of money.
But I was really sensitive at that time. Had no idea who I was. Had just stopped believing in God. Was interested in philosophy, deep conversations and making a positive impact on the world. As most people are UA are either in greek life or trying to act like they are (for boys this meant wearing khaki shorts and pastel colored t shirts), these desires in me were argely ignored or considered “lame,” or I just never found other people. Even when I did, later in college, we were all really jaded and had chips on our shoulders from being around the super loud, racist, largely conservative, largely anti-intellectual culture on campus (the greek life was barely beginning to integrate when I was there, with a couple of black girls “allowed” to join sororities, some 50 years after the civil rights movement).
I guess the way I grew up, I didn’t really even know a liberal arts school was a possibility. Or finding support and friends doing things I cared about and enjoyed.
I mostly got depressed and would fail classes every other semester, reading about climate change and systemic injustice, alternative economic systems, and just realizing that most things that made good money weren’t going to help create positive change in the world the way I wanted to see it.
Ex: I started in chemical engineering, wanting to be an environmental engineer. I realized that environmental chemical engineers mostly just make these giant factories look good on paper so they can pat themselves on the back for polluting the environment 2% less. In exchange for this, you get about a 50% pay cut as an environmental chemical engineer. Whereas I would have liked to be pursuing something beyond fossil fuels entirely.
Eventually I was so depressed and lonely, the only classes I felt like I could/wanted to pass were psychology classes. So I finished in psychology (after trying 3-4 other majors) and decided to get a job in social work, making some small change for good and living simply.
I moved out West, got a job in mental health for juvenile offenders in the criminal justice system. This job broke me. It wasn’t the suffering of people I saw there, but the complete inability of the system to offer any “mental health” other than trying to indoctrinate them to follow rules and fit into society. No real validation of their anger at having grown up on the street through no fault of their own. No healthy outlet for it. I experienced it as gaslighting as mental health, and I took part in that system until I realized how bad it was. I was trying to make something good of it, but in reality it’s hard to say I did more good than harm. The kids mostly hated us, calling us “cops” and “feds.” Gaslit us for fun. Eventually administration started gaslighting us about taking too many “mental health days,” as if we were lying, after telling us from the beginning to be proactive about mental health days (they were perennially understaffed because the job was so draining, thus the emails).
Since then I think I have just had a lot of fear and indecision around work. I think that one traumatized me (eventually one kid threatened me, that was the last straw), and I have been working mostly in restaurants for the past 5 years. Did a yoga teacher training.
I guess I’m just sad, because now I see there are people who have successful careers making a difference in disadvantaged communities, or maybe I could have finished the computer science degree if I had had good community around me.
Often I feel emotionally much older than people my age, but as far as career and integration into life, much younger.
I guess I’m just sad I never felt like people around me saw and encouraged my passions, or that I never really felt I was in a community that nurtured my gifts.
I am finally moving out of the south again (I had moved back after that job to be closer to family), and I see how people have been able to grow in their 20’s (I’m 29 now).
I guess I feel like I’m basically 19 career-wise at 29, and it’s hard to start again. Even still I don’t know where to start. And entry level jobs can be so frustrating, because ultimately I think education would be the best route for me. I just haven’t had enough experience in things to know what to do.
Anyways, can anyone relate? Any ideas on how to get started after so long?
I’m thinking I’ll just try a mental health job again and see if I can find a more holistic and definitely non-punitive one. But I always wonder if I couldn’t make a bigger difference in the world with software, I liked coding. Can’t tell if it’s just not for me, or if I only got into mental health because of my own trauma, not my gifts.

"Great days and glorious victory! My name is Spifflemonk and welcome to my Letsplay! Today I am back from my medically mandated break from playing human videogames after a rather... cathartic experience with a game called Teardown. Subnautica, even among humans, is labeled as a notorious experience with... mixed reception for its sequel. A survival crafting game apparently. I have experience with those so presumably the gameplay loop should be predictable enough. So... Let's go in!"
Spiffle starts the game, going for standard Survival Mode, with aspects of food and water mechanics alongside health and oxygen. The game loads very, very fast with Spiffles overpowered computer, and the introduction sequence begins. The camera pans to the panicked sight of the payer character moving down a ladder followed by a sight of a starship above exploding.
"Oh dear... oh dear! They weren't kidding about survival! Do I even survive this or am I a ghost or something..."
The pod rattles, the screen shakes, a fire extinguisher falls from its mounting. Velocity causes the pod to dislodge a panel from a wall and it flies around the cabin. The panel flies into the player's screen, making it go black.
"Oh... well okay then. I uh... well."
Spiffles' character awakens and panics at the buttons securing him to the seat. Spiffle quickly figures out that fire in this game is in fact bad, and grabs the fire extinguisher, putting the fire out. The game's introduction plays, showing his PDA, the game's inventory UI.
"Oh! I have seen these things in real life when visiting human stations! Do all humans have these?"
Spiffle starts exploring the escape pod, noting all of the damage to the radio beacon and the wiring panel.
"Hmm... craft the repair tool... Well... For later I suppose. Now how do i-AH, the ladder!"
Spiffle clicks on the ladder and goes through the animation. The character exits and dramatically stands. Spiffle looks around. His face visibly pales as he looks in every direction, finding the only thing nearby that looks 'safe’ or like 'land' is the destroyed ship in the distance.
"Water... it's... water... everywhere! How big is this game's map!? Structural hull failure... zero human lifesigns detected. That's.. not nice. Well... Here we go!"
Spiffle jumps into the water. His mood changes, the underwater environment significantly different than above ground. The water is absolutely teeming with life and color, as Spiff swims towards a reef to stare at some coral. Spiff gets distracted and starts chasing a fish, specifically a Peeper, and grabs it.
"Oh! Good god! THAT'S how humans catch fish!? That's very... inefficient! What is this thing? Can I eat it? I know I'm supposed to take care of my food and water, so how do I eat it?"
Spiffle wanders about for a while, gathering resources and exploring his general location, eventually getting back to the pod. He had gathered up a decent amount of stuff while he was swimming around and accessed the Fabricator to see what was available.
"Ah! I see, the fabricator cooks things too. Uhm... cooked fish thing and... these transparent fish give me water bottles? Okay then! Well. Sorted for food anyway. Let's see. Copper wire, batteries. A Scanner? Does that mean I can like, scan things and tell what they are? And... Oxygen tank? Oh hell yes. I'll build that then."
Spiffle goes through the process of building a few things, checking out how the game's crafting system works, and spending more time collecting resources. He quickly realizes how much work he has to do and finally finishes making a Scanner.
"Okay then well... I can see how much time is going to be spent collecting resources so i'm going to edit all of that out and keep you all in the loop on all the fun parts instead."
Spiffle continues playing, inserting a creative, albeit mildly annoying fanciful scene transition in between resource loops. He comes to a cave looking for salt to make more equipment, when he encounters the first hostile enemy of the game: The Crashfish. He does not notice it at first, the strange sloppy noise it makes as its pod opens, the beast makes a terrible gurgly noise and charges straight at him.
"What is that noi-AH! OY! OI! OIIII what are you what are-!"
Spiffle is cut off as the fish explodes, causing him to lose half his health. He quickly surfaces and takes a breath.
"Okay then... OKAY... THAT... makes absolutely no sense from an evolutionary perspective... but okay then. Avoid those. What even was that? I can't even scan it because it was moving so fast! Gods... exploding fish."
Spiffle shakes his head and resumes his hunt for resources, eventually finding enough for a repair tool. He makes the repair of the pods' broken wiring and looks around a bit more, noting some of the details in the game.
"Hard to believe these games are over eight hundred years old! I keep getting requests to play 'them gud ol' gamez' instead of any new releases. Maybe I'll get to those eventually. I have quite the backlog though."
Spiffle quickly tabs out and shows the huge list of human made games on his list that he has been gifted or purchased himself. The list includes Space Marine, Starship Troopers, Spyro Trilogy, Crash Bandicoot, and so... so many more.
"I am also told about this thing called 'anime', whatever that is. Maybe I should look into that. Anyway..."
Spiffle shrugs for now and resumes playing, swimming around for a bit before finally deciding to use his scanner. He gets the first scan - the Acid Mushroom - and painstakingly reads the supplied article. He then goes on a scanning frenzy, scanning each thing he can find, comically chasing after various fish and objects, trying to scan them then taking an irritatingly long time to read the article aloud.
He gets to the point where he encounters his first real hostile enemy and tries to scan it. The stalker, of course, doesn't appreciate that, and attacks.
"Oooh what's this thing? Oh lovely, it's a big one. Can I scan it? The... Stalker? Oh okay is it friend-OW! NONONONO go away!"
Spiffle panics and scans it while running away from it, trying to swim backwards. He's so focused on scanning it he can't run far enough away that he gets ambushed by another Stalker nearby and manages to scan it just as he gets hit with his first Death in the game.
"Oh.... o...kay. Well... it seems things aren't as friendly as expected. I'm going to guess there's more things like that around. So... I'm just going to finish working on repairs and equipment then I'll take those things on."
Spiffle reads the article on the Stalker he scanned and spends more time collecting resources, scanning local entities and building the rest of the gear he has. Fins, high capacity O2 tank, rebreather and some more food and water which he stores in floating containers for later. He starts to explore a bit farther in search of fragments to scan and finds a Sand Shark, as well as a biome resembling a desert-like area. He encounters his first piece of the wrecked ship here.
"Oh! Hello! Pieces of wreckage! What are these for now do you suppose? Can I disassemble these for resources or-Oh! Is that a door? Oh! I'm supposed to go in here and look for things? How do I get in? Oh I can't. I need a laser cutter. Is one of those here? Need more fragments I guess..."
Spiffle gives up trying to enter and goes up for air, then returns to the floor to hunt for fragments. He eventually unlocks the Bioreactor, pieces of the Scanner room, a couple fragments of the Seaglide and Seamoth. He comes across the first cave entrance to the Mushroom Caves Biome.
"Oh... oh my. That's... deep. Good thing I unlocked the Seamoth thing. Its a miniature submarine I think. I can use that. But that's... kinda scary. I can't see the bottom. I kinda see just... purple. Mostly purple. But it scares me that I can't see the bottom."
Spiffle hangs around the cave entrance for a bit before a call for Oxygen forces him to the surface. He swims back down to the cave entrance and then hangs around a bit longer before once again resurfacing, heading for some new things to scan. It is however at this point that Spiffles exploration is cut short.
"EMERGENCY - SEISMIC READINGS SUGGEST A QUANTUM DETONATION HAS OCCURRED IN THE AURORA'S DRIVE CORE. THE CENTRAL DARK MATTER REACTOR WILL REACH A SUPERCRITICAL STATE IN -"
The computer aboard the PDA shakes Spiff out of his daze and he quickly rushes to the surface and looks at the ship.
"Wait wait wait what's that!? What's going on!? I see the ship? The Aurora! That's what its name is? Whats a Dark Matter reactor and wha-"
The computer continues its countdown muffled by Spiffs panicked squealing and he has a front-row seat to one of the most spectacular explosions in the history of gaming - the Aurora's Reactor Detonation.
It happens. The world goes dead silent for a short moment, and one can see Spiffles heart visibly stop beating. Then explosion as the Aurora lets out its magnificent blast. As the shockwave expands outwards, Spiffs skin visibly turns a paler shade of blue, and his eyes go wide. The sound of a geiger counter follows, leaving him breathless and pale as the world suddenly goes dead quiet again. The sound of the geiger counter ominously leaving him shaken even more than he already is.
"FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE - THE RADIATION SUIT HAS BEEN ADDED TO YOUR BLUEPRINTS."
Spiffle stays completely silent, bobbing in the water for a solid few minutes, staring in shocked wonder at what he just witnessed. He regains his composure for a few short moments and returns to his scanning venture, but one can easily see he isn't in the right mind after that. He returns to the seabed, at the entrance to the mushroom caves and dives again. He does this several more times, popping up to the surface, looking at the shipwreck, then diving at the entrance again. Finally, after much hesitation, he dives one last time.
"Screw it. it's just a game right?"
He smiles at the camera with a shrug and swims far below the surface, into one of the caves. As he enters the cavern his jaw drops at the sight of a massive underwater cavern filled with gigantic glowing pink mushrooms. The Mushroom caves as they are known. He spots something in the distance, entranced, forgetting his oxygen situation. He cant get far however and a terrifying shriek of some unknown entity shakes him out of his stupor.
"What in the red dawn was that noise!?"
Spiff can't finish asking his invisible audience what's going on as he strays too close to a mushroom, occupied by a Crab Snake, a gigantic sea worm. He is grabbed from behind, spun around and he visibly panics as the giant worm digs its enormous tusks into Spiffles character. Spiffle immediately freaks out, a combination of both the terrifying shriek emitted by the creature and the shock of being attacked makes poor Spiffle jump out of his seat and duck under the table.
"GOWAYGOWAYGOWAGOWAYGOWAY!!!"
The worm comes back and finishes Spiff off before his oxygen runs out. Spiff's character respawns but the footage continues, a slight whimper can be heard in the background as Spiff hides under the desk. This carries on for a few minutes, and his head very slowly appears above the desk. He gingerly puts himself back in his seat and breathes heavily for a bit. When he finally gains control, he tabs out of the game and takes a look at the wiki for Subnautica. He returns a few moments later and stares at the camera in that strange haunting glare he's become so famous for.
"WHY DO YOU STUPID DEVELOPERS NOT PUT GUNS IN THE GAME IF YOU HAVE SHIT LIKE THAT!? ARE YOU INSANE!?"
He grabs the camera and shakes it violently as he rants at it, questioning why there are guns in every other human game he has played and not THIS specific game, especially considering how there are 'giant water snake monsters that eat your face' in a game with no guns. He rants for a good minute or two then plays his outro.
TOP COMMENT: "Are you absolutely sure after Teardown, Factorio and Project ZOMBOID, you should be playing Subnautica? I mean seriously, try something less... psychologically terrifying. It's known as Thalassophobia Simulator for a reason."
_______________________________________________________________
"Great days and glorious victory! My name is Spifflemonk and I still don't understand why we have giant worm monsters but we have no guns!"
Spiffle stares at the camera with an expression that can only be summarized as 'Seriously bruh?' and resumes his last playthrough. He becomes confused at the lack of stuff in his inventory.
"Why is my... Why do I not ha-Oh right... I was eaten. When you die your inventory is wiped... I need to build more tools then."
Spiffle starts some silly music, an alien version of Benny Hill to a montage of him collecting resources, occasionally ranting at various oddities and questioning game logic. He restores all of his tools then goes hunting for a Vehicle Bay fragment so he can build the Seamoth. He continues to scan what he can, developing something of an obsession with the task, then painstakingly reading every word about it to try and understand it. It is at this point Spiffle, during his explorations finds another derelict chunk of ship near the desert region, encountering his first Sand Shark.
"What... What is this? Oh... careful Spiff. This one looks angrier than the last one you found. Wh-What in oblivion!?"
Spiffles attention is once again diverted by the appearance of a Reefback Leviathan and its signature low drone. This one appears to be a fully grown adult.
"You-you... You've got to be... You gotta be fucking kidding me. A Juhara Eelfish!? WHAT IS THAT DOING IN A HUMAN VIDEOGAME!!!??"
Spiffle squeaks in shock as he sees a creature that is an absolute spitting image of a large oceanic dwelling sea creature, which is both the games and his native homeworlds version of a Whale. The Reefback has some dissimilarities, but its close enough to the real thing that Spiffle is genuinely shocked. He quickly pauses the game, opening various wikipedia articles, then displays a full picture of both Subnautica in game Reefback, and the Juhara-Kal-Rehar, colloquially known as a Juhara Eelfish, a shockingly similar creature that lives in his homeworlds oceans.
The only difference between them is the color of the exterior chitin shell. The Reefback has a blue/purple shell, the Juhara Eelfish's chitin has a red/green shell.
"WHEN was this game made!?"
Spiff checks, the current Earth-date is the year 2886. Humanity only entered the galactic community in 2752. Subnautica was released in 2018.
"HOW.... How is that even possible!? You didn't even know the galaxy existed until only a few decades ago, yet you almost PERFECTLY matched the appearance of one of our homeworlds native species! How is this even possible!? Okay. If the name matches then I have to call bullshit."
Spiffle approaches and scans it, then reads the data article.
"A... Reefback Leviathan? Oh thank God... Now let's see... A herbivorous creature that... that likely got so large due to the fact that its predators went extinct. Well... that's... okay... A hard chitinous shell of multiple layers, a microcosm of different creatures and flora growing from its back, hence the name. Hmmm..."
Spiffle gets that cold, empty stare on his face and glares menacingly at the camera. The screen goes black, then returns, seeing Spiffle nursing a beverage of some kind while wrapped in a blanket.
"I realized something... Call it a message from the Ancestors or a Divine revelation. But I have a funny feeling this isn't going to be the last time I see a creature from the galaxy represented in human media. I hope to the Gods that doesn't happen... the concept of this situation is nothing short of terrifying. In any case, I'm sorry about that. Lets.... let's continue."
Spiffle resumes where he left off, doing his usual routine of scanning, then obsessively reading. Eventually he unlocks the Vehicle Bay, and returns home to his pod where the situation with resources is growing obscene with at least fifty floating resource containers hovering around the area.
"Alright... A Vehicle Bay... This means I can build things like the Seamoth now. This will be nice. Right, I shall for the sake of my audience skip the resource collection mechanic that's here and focus on the actual result. I shan't waste my time either though. MONTAGE!"
Spiff yells excitedly and a montage to that same odd Benny Hill type music plays out, with him collecting the resources he needs to build both machines. Most of it is already in the floating containers strewn about. With a few visits to the fabricator, he compiles the Power Cell, Titanium Ingot and Lubricant he needs to make the Vehicle Bay. He deploys it and chases it to the surface just away from the pod in the deeper end of the shallows.
"Right... Not too hard. Let's see then, how do-Ah. Get on it and... The Seamoth. Cost of two glass, one titanium ingot, a powercell, lead and lubricant. Right."
He quickly gathers and makes everything he needs for the Seamoth, then stands on the platform ready to go. He chooses the Seamoths recipe and the sequence starts. His eyes light up as drones start flying around the platform, then begin assembling atom by atom, the small, adorable minisub known as the Seamoth. It finishes the process and flops into the water with a splash.
"My gods look at this thing! It's so cute!"
Spiffle explores the sub for a little while and hops inside it, testing the controls and playing around with it a bit to see what it can do.
"Hm... Maximum Depth, 200 meters? So if I go below that does it implode or something? I need to be careful of that. OH dammit I remember! I have to make that Radiation Suit don't I? I shall do so now!"
Spiffle seems to have found a new resolve, quickly gathering resources together and making both a Seaglide and radiation suit in short order.
"Does this thing have any weapons? How do I repair-Oh... Repair tool? That makes it easier I suppose. Now... Where do I go now? Is there anything I can do?"
Spiffle stumbles about in the blind for a few minutes, trying to figure out his next course of action beyond simply wandering aimlessly while scanning things. He gets back in the pod and fixes the radio beacon. His face visibly contorts into an expression of irritation when he hears his rescue is in 9999 hours. He resolves to come back every now and then to check the radio. He decides to gather more resources to make up for building the seamoth and comes back a bit later. He finds a radio transmission when he returns.
"RADIO: ▀▖┗▛Nine new biological subjects designated. Mode ▄▖▜▚┣: hunting/analyzing.
Sharing subject locations with other agents."
"What... in the Nine Hells was THAT!? Why was it in such an odd voice? What was that language? What were those letters!? Somethings going on here... SO now what? I have the radiation suit. i guess... go into the Aurora? Oh no, I'm not going in there unprepared! Lemme make some tools and spare batteries, then i'll go in. I need... Oh... I need more fragments is what I need."
Spiffle resumes his fragment hunt, looking around for fragments of various tools. He uses the Seamoth to traverse around.
"WHEEE!!!"
Spiff seems more than just a bit happy as he trundles around in the Seamoth, using his speed to launch himself out of the water. He splashes about a bit, testing the limits of the craft and trying to see what holes he can squeeze himself into or out of and how deep he can go.
"Okay okay. time to get to serious work. Now... I need to find... A Laser Cutter and a... STASIS RIFLE?! Wait... rifle? That means GUN! I NEED A GUN!!"
Spiffle charges forward towards the desert biome where he found the Reefback and resumes his search for things to scan. It is now he comes across a Reginald.
"What... IS this fish? Wait, let me just..."
He gets out of the Seamoth and scans it.
"Huh... Reginald. That's a... fish? It's so cute! Wait, come back friend!"
Spiffle spends an unreasonable amount of time trying to catch a Reginald. When he finally catches one he gets back in the Seamoth and heads towards the aurora, new friend in tow. He trundles over to the side of the crashed ship and scans some random stuff here and there, finding fragments to a few small items, including a few he needs such as a Powercell Charger for the Seamoth’s battery. He gets close to the front of the ship and the haunting, evil noise of Subnautica's most iconic killer suddenly echoes through the gloomy water.
"What... Was that? Is it another worm thing? Please don't let it be one of those..."
Spiffle wanders around the side for a bit longer. An ominous shadow looms in the background, catching his eye. He ignores it for the moment and simply carries on, eventually arriving at the entrance to the ship. Through the mangled steel and fire he squeezes into the front of the ship and looks around. The environment ominously rattles and his screen shakes as the ships structure isn't exactly stable. The howl of the creature in the shadows makes Spiff even more uncomfortable.
"I... Do NOT like this. I really dont."
Spiff parks the Seamoth where he can see a ramp leading up, and gets out. He is immediately accosted by Cave Crawlers and uses his knife to defend himself, poorly, but he gets rid of the three or four around him.
"WARNING: SCANS SHOW THE DIGESTIVE TRACTS OF INDIGENOUS LIFE FORMS CONTAIN HUMAN TISSUE."
Spiffs face turns an even paler shade of blue and he swallows visibly as if he's trying not to vomit.
"Yeuch... I can scan this thing and read it later. I don't want to be here any longer than I have to."
Spiff scans and follows the path to the interior, uses his fire extinguisher to put out some fires in the area and gets inside. The ship rumbles as he wanders around and gets into one of the rooms. He finds the poster of the P.R.A.W.N. Suit.
"Ooh! A poster thing? Can I take it or? I can! PRAWN Suit eh? Can I actually use that thing?"
Spiff takes the poster, scans some furniture and collects a PDA. Spiff continues down the corridor and retrieves his Propulsion Cannon from his inventory and uses it to pick up some furniture in the way.
"I am SO glad I got this thing from scanning the area before I came here. This is super useful! I wonder if it has other uses..."
He gets to the door and looks at his databank.
"Hmm... Here it is! Code for the door is 1454. Right."
Spiff moves through, repairing a door to get the Seamoth Depth Upgrade Module. He continues and clears a fire to enter the main reactor. His inner loot goblin shines through and grabs the Cyclops engine efficiency module before he starts work on repairs, scanning the breach and starting work. It doesn't take him long, but he gets issues with a Bleeder that lives in the waters. He scans one then finishes repairs. Foolishly, he uses the propulsion cannon and shoots the bleeder at one of the reactors, undoing his work. He looks at the damage he caused and repairs it.
"Well... what was I expecting... Why did I do that? It's a CANNON... why did I aim it at the reactor exactly? So stupid..."
Spiff finishes and heads to the PRAWN Bay, and looks around at the damage. He spots the prawn suits and starts scanning, grabbing a storage module upgrade from a console and starts extinguishing flames so he can scan. He runs out of fire extinguisher juice though.
"Blast! Can I still scan these if they're on fire?"
Spiff walks around, finding cheeky angles he can use and scans the debris, finding all four fragments he needs. He heads upstairs and goes through the rooms and everything he can find. He gets into the Galley and sees the Kitty in a Space Helmet Poster.
"What the- 'Keep Calm'? What in the blue balls is this? It's.... cute! What is this creature!? Can I keep this? I can!"
Spiffle excitedly grabs the poster and moves on. He goes through cabins, picks up PDAs and collects the Natural Selection 2 poster, the Prawn suit in the sea poster and the collectible arcade toy in the locked cabin. Lacking the code to the Captain's cabin, he returns to the prawn bay and tries swimming around, eventually finding a passage in the hull debris to the rest of the ship. He moves through in silence, recovers the black box data and exits the ship. He removes debris, grabs the local wildlife with the cannon and tosses them into fires or the water with glee.
"BEGONE BEAST!!! Ha! Right... uhh... where did i park? Oh, there it is. Should I go home? I wonder if there are any fragments I can use around here?"
Spiff exits, finding Liefpod 4 floating upside down on the surface of the water. He collects the PDA data and a new blueprint. Then, as he gets in the seamoth, the horrifying roar of the Reaper Leviathan suddenly sounds. Spiff is thrown into a panic, screams in terror and tries desperately to get away. The beast appears with jaw chomping and claws clawing at the poor Seamoth. The entire time Spiffle is screeching like a bird with a broken leg, his entire body now an almost ghostly white out of absolute terror.
"GOWAYGOWAYGOWAYGOWAYGODNONNONOGOWAYGOWAY!!!"
Spiffle manages to get out of its grip and in a panic charges away towards his lifepod and continues to scream, breathing hard between screams. He gets to the pod and then hides under his desk, continuing to scream. His channel outro plays.
TOP COMMENT: (This has been translated from Eridani) "I am starting to believe this whole sojourn was a very BAD idea. Do you humans have those kinds of beasts on your homeworld? How did you ever survive them?!"
RESPONSE: LOL no we never had Reapers. The only Leviathan Class creatures we have on our planet are Whales. And they're mostly peaceful plankton eaters. Mostly.
RESPONSE: (Translated from Eridani) "Seriously? I think I find it more terrifying that these creatures are made up in your minds. What kind of nightmares do you people have to be able to create this level of fiction!?"
RESPONSE: Do. Not. Ask. This is only Subnautica - we have FAR worse.
Spiffles response: "You're going to make me play these 'far worse', aren't you?"
RESPONSE: "Damn right we are! :)"
________________________________________________________
"Great days and glorious victory! My name is Spifflemnonk and welcome back to Subnautica!"
Spiffle looks visibly stronger, his usual lanky appearance now looking like he's been working out like a Gym Bro. One can see muscles on muscles and Spiff seems to have an abnormal amount of energy.
"I am now relaxed. It is now time to get eaten by giant scary sea monsters. And yes, before you ask, I have successfully finished fully soundproofing my office. And also yes, I am indeed expecting a new addition to the brood... THANKS DAMN HUMANS! You and your damn musical magic nonsense..."
Spiffle starts the game and is swimming outside the pod next to the Seamoth. The first thing he does is repair the seamoth from the damage incurred by the Reaper, and recounts what hes been up to, checking inventory and equipment. He heads to the radio and gets a new transmission.
RADIO - "This is Avery Quinn of trading ship Sunbeam. Aurora, do you read? Over.'
'Nothing but vacuum. These Alterra ships. They run low on engine grease, they send an SOS; you offer to help, they don't pick up.'
'Aurora, we're out on the far side of the system, it's going to take more than a week to reach your position, do you still need our assistance? Over.'
'I'll try them again tomorrow. Damn charter's going to have us wasting our profit margin running errands for Alterra.'
'See what the long-range scanner picks up in the meantime."
"Oh? Oh lovely! There ARE people in this game! I wonder when they will be here? Meh, I have things to build, so I'll keep an eye."
Spiffle resolves himself to start building a base, trying to find a good spot. He finds the Mushroom Forest Biome and starts gathering resources to ferry them around. He installs the Depth Module and the Storage module to the Seamoth, then builds the Moon Pool. The Mushroom Biome becomes one of his favorite spots and a close encounter with a JellyRay cements it.
"Those creatures are beautiful! Look! JellyRay! Its glowing blue and pretty! I love that! Oh... I have a new radio message. I need to listen to that then."
Spiff returns to the pod and listens to the message.
RADIO - "Aurora, this is Sunbeam again. We just picked up a massive debris field at your location.'
'I didn't know how bad... How many of you... I didn't know.'
'We are now en route to your location. We're going to bring you home. Sunbeam out.'
'What else can I say? The only time I parked a rig this big on a rock that small was in VR, and I blew it'
'Oh, it's a bad option alright, but so are all the others."
Spiff smiles and carries on working, parking the Seamoth inside after powering everything up.
"So lovely! But... Is that a win condition? I know human games by now I have played enough of them. Is that a win condition? Get rescued? I dunno..."
Spiffle carries on building for a little and gets a storage system up, spending a few in-game days transporting resources to his new base. He returned to the pod and played a new radio message, again from the Sunbeam.
RADIO - "This is Sunbeam. Y'know, Aurora, we're from a little trans-gov on the far side of Andromeda, and we have a saying there.'
'There's no bad without the good, no good without the bad.'
'Sounds like you tasted a bunch of the former, but that only means you're overdue a whole lot of the latter.'
'Might just be we're it.'
'We're scanning for somewhere to park, we'll be in touch when we find it. Sunbeam out."
"Ohh... That... that's a lovely saying! What was that uh... There's no bad without the good, no good without the bad. I like that! I think i'll have that framed on my wall! Now lets see.. i ca- I CAN GIVE THE SEAMOTH A NAME? OOHHHhh okay, okay.. I can customize the color too! I think I'll just do this..."
Spiff leaves the name as 'Seamoth' for now, changing the color to a mix of purple for the main, and blue for the trim and name color. His two favorite colors. Spiffle does a little more work, acquiring the last fragments for the Cyclops and starts gathering together the resources necessary to build it.
"Hmmm.. Cyclops... Personal large scale submarine capable of carrying other vehicles! Ooohhh I want to build that! I need to fetch the Vehicle Bay though. Im almost done moving house!"
Spiff returns and packs up the last of his resources, then gets another radio message.
RADIO - "Aurora, we're approaching the planet now, and we have a landing site for you that's... well, it's better than the alternatives.'
'We've sent you the coordinates.'
'It'll take us a couple of days to align our orbit, we should be able to establish direct contact with you during that time, then we're coming in to get you.'
'Cross your fingers the weather holds, and don't leave us waiting. Sunbeam out."
Spiffle gets a new beacon on his HUD. Sunbeam Landing Site.
"What!? Is this game over If I'm there!? Okay... well. At least it's no longer terrifying! I'll get the Seamoth and go for the beacon then. I hope it's okay... Strange... this... doesn't feel like the end, you know? But if it is then it is."
Spiff heads home, deploys the Vehicle Bay and deposits his gear and resources. He heads towards the location, occasionally squealing 'WHEEE!!' as he uses the Seamoth to jump out of the water like a dolphin. However, he miscalculates and the Seamoth jumps up, out and sustains a bit of damage as it hits a rock formation close to the surface. He gets out, repairs it and looks at the camera.
"Why no I didn't just damage my Seamoth by having too much fun. I don't know what you are talking about. Hehe."
Spiffle smirks at the camera with a glare and carries on. Eventually, he encounters the largest of the Islands in the world.
"Wh... WHAT. This has been here the whole time!? Is this an island? Who cares! LAND! Sweet land!"
Spiffle now notices the timer and hops onto the island from his Seamoth. He walks up to the landing zone and stops dead in his tracks at the sight of the massive al;ien structure known as the Quarantine Enforcement Platform. In essence, a giant alien cannon.
"What... the *beep* is THAT?"
Spiffles' editing has gotten better, his editor learning how to censor Spiffles foul language, in both English AND Eridani. He moves closer to the building, scanning the broken tablet and the Forcefield Controls.
"What is this? I mean it's clearly alien... What do the codex entries say... 'possible to reconstruct the device' Oh... hmm.. I can make more of these then. 'Matches no known technologies... functions like a lock'. Okay then so... Standard video game logic I guess. That's nice! So A purple tablet will unlock the gate there. What are those?"
Spiff moves towards the Cairns marking the way into the island, pathways leading up the mountainside. He follows them, finding a Purple Tablet in the process on one of the pathways.
"Oh! Lovely! That saves me resources and a trip I guess. This pathway keeps going though. hmm... Welp, we still have thirty minutes, so let's go."
Spiff explores the pathway, getting lost a bit before finally figuring that following the large cables is a good idea. He comes across the Teleportation Arch and scans it, in between dodging the Cave Crawlers.
"Right, let's see... Alien Arch... not much to speak of here. Maybe this thing will be useful later I guess. Likely.... Hmmm..."
Spiffle continues exploring and eventually finds himself back at the forcefield with another twenty minutes to go.
"Screw it, let's go."
Spiff activates the forcefield platform and the animation of the key being placed plays out. He moves into the building, activating both data platforms and acquiring two Ion Cubes for later, scanning everything he thinks he can scan. He enters the Moonpool in the bay and gets two more Ion Cubes, plus data on a rifle and a Doomsday Device. He ignores it for now, acquiring one more purple tablet and accessing the control room.
"Right... what's in here? Hmm... Energy Core, right. I shall scan that and... press button?"
Spiff presses the button. An animation plays where a device locks his characters hand in place, viciously stabs it with a pointy metal bit and then releases it.
"OH GODS what the hell! Why is that?! That's just nasty!"
"THE TERMINAL IS BROADCASTING A MESSAGE. TRANSLATION READS: 'Warning, infected individuals may not disable the weapon. This planet is under quarantine.'"
"Quarantine! What? Infected? I-Hold on...."
Spiffle gets his scanner out and performs a self-scan. It is only now he notices something very bad has happened.
"I-infected!? Wait, what!?"
"SELF-SCAN COMPLETE - DETECTING STATISTICALLY SIGNIFICANT BACTERIAL LEVELS. NO ADVERSE EFFECTS DETECTED. BE VIGILANT FOR SYMPTOMS."
"Oh brilliant! Does that mean I can't leave? I KNEW IT! Wait... weapon!? This is a weapon!?"
Spiffle panics and runs out of the facility as fast as he can and waits the last few minutes for the Sunbeam to arrive. Sure enough, it does. In the last 30 seconds, the Sunbeam plays a message.
RADIO - "Survivor, we see you!
'Man, I don't know how you held out down there.'
The sunbeams message plays, and Spiffle gasps in terror from the sound of the gun platform starting up and starting to move around.
RADIO - "We've broken atmosphere and we're descending towards the landing site.'
'Is that a building down there?! What do you mean you can't identify it?"
The weapon powers up and turns, aiming itself high at the sky.
RADIO - "Hold on, no turning back now.'
'Positions everyone, touching down in 10, 9, 8-'
The weapon charges up and a loud vicious hum can be heard echoing through the valley.
RADIO - "It's coming from the building?! Change course, set thrusters to (full)-"
The radio goes to static, the weapon fires and the Sunbeam is vaporized instantly by a massive blast of bright green light. The sunbeam disappears, its hull structure completely disintegrated. Spiffle sits in stunned silence as the platform returns to a stable position, shuts down, and everything goes quiet.
"Well... Okay then... That was... horrifying. I guess thats all we have time for! Hehe! Oh dear..."
Spiffle looks a bit defeated as he sits back in his seat.
"S-see you next time! I guess... Holy shit..."
Channel Outro plays.
TOP COMMENT: "Are you okay? You seem a little bit too disturbed by that. Its fine though, compared to what happens in the Rise Of The Ancients Mod, this is tame! Lol! I love that mod!"
Spiffles Response: "Please don't make me play that mod..."
((Authors note - due to how bastardingly huge Subnautica is, this will be a multi part series. Other Spiff stories will come inbetween. Hope you enjoy!))

I'm currently taking a year long break from work. I've saved up for years to travel the world and work on projects I never had enough time for before. While spending my savings is a little stressful, especially with recent tech layoffs, this has been such a meaningful experience.. I'm 6 months in and not ready to go back to work.
Here's the challenge: A company reached out to me with a really exciting brand new role, it would be highly strategic and interesting for me. They shared with me that I was the first person they reached out to, because at my last job, I worked on a project very similar to this but with slightly less scope that I loved. I'm from the US and they'd be willing to sponsor me in the country I'm currently living in and want to stay long term. I think I've got a competitive resume/skillset and could get another job if I wanted, but I know the market is a bit weird right now and Visa sponsorship is a big deal.
I would want this job, but I wouldn't want it for at least 6 months. In a few days, I have a 3rd round meeting with a chief of staff and the hiring manager to present on a big case study assignment they've given. It should be nearly a final interview. I feel guilty taking their time if I know it's not right for me right now. The case study is also basically architecting the program for them. They are still defining the role so if I do this work now I may lose a competitive advantage/leverage I have in what I can bring to the table (it's a broad reaching initiative but it's cross functional in a way that not a lot of organizations have people with this experience).
How can I respectfully let them know this isn't the right timing for me? When is the best time to drop out and keeps the door open? Is it better to get to the offer stage or drop out prior to the 3rd round?
Some factors: - Visa Sponsorship:They are open to sponsoring me

• Growth: the role is quite interesting and the skip shared that he believes there are some big growth opportunities . The company is also likely to go public which could be big.

-New Role: since it's a new role, it may be unstable/subject to change, but I've helped start new teams and I'm okay with this.
-LinkedIn Outreach: they reached out to me on LinkedIn, so it's not like I applied and am changing my story.

• Pay Cut: I think it would likely be a paycut of 30-40%, but if I want to stay in this country that's potentially an inevitability

-Options: I left my old job on pretty great terms and my boss's boss told me if I ever wanted to come back they'd do whatever they could to find a spot for me, so I have some safety net

• Options: I worked at a well-known and respected company and worked my way up from entry level to fairly senior and had good results in the last role, so I am hopeful that I will be a competitive candidate when I am ready to start applying
  
• Reviews: My manager seems cool, but he's new and the company doesn't have the best Glassdoor presence. From an internal source I've heard that they made a decent amount of changes to the team a year ago and things have been going better. I wonder if waiting 6 more months may also be good for the company's position as people further settle into the changes
  

I'm the founder of NoDegree.com and host of The NoDegree Podcast (200ish episodes). I interact with people who make over $150K-$500K+ without a degree.
You can do jobs in sales, marketing, tech, operations, and certification based industries without degree.

Sales

You probably have to start under $60K but if you grind it out, you can get a job as am AE making above $150K. I've seen great AEs make above $300K. I did a resume for a guy who made a million dollars total comp for T-Mobile as an RVP. Started his career working at a Verizon store and worked his way up. Took him like 20 years to get to that level.
In sales there are a lot of transitions you can make. Some people choose to keep selling and others move into leadership. Some move into customer success, account management, or sales operations.

Software Engineering

In tech, you can do software engineering. The market is brutal so you may need to seriously dedicate a year depending on your work ethic and intelligence. In 2020 and 2021 people were breaking in with 3 to 6 months. Now you have to really know your stuff. A bootcamp is not enough in 2024. You need to make sure your resume is perfect. I routinely get people who come to me with great resumes that don't get interviews. It needs to be ATS friendly (applicant tracking system). Which means minimal formatting. You need to highlightimpact and optimize keywords. /engineeringresumes has the best free resource for resumes online. It's actually better than 90% of paid resources I come across.

System Administration

The other route is system administration. You generally start off in a help desk role. You can stay in this role for 6 months to a year. They generally pay very low. Like $30K-$40K but you can move up quick. Then you can pick up certs along the way and get paid in the $60K-$100K range. I have seen people clear $150K-$250K and eventually work their way to CTO roles. It will take time. Some people go down the SRE (Site Reliability Engineering route). I know an SRE who was in the $400K+ total comp range at a very well known payments company. I generally recommend the SRE route because it pays really well. It takes years to get into it. It helps if you want how to program.

Cloud

Cloud is a growing area. This is a very cert driven industry. AWS has the most about of jobs so I generally recommend that. You can get a job in Azure or Google Cloud with an AWS cert. Some companies do expect you to pass the Azure or GCP certs. I knew someone who got into Microsoft with AWS certs. One thing to note is that while AWS it the most common, knowing Azure or GCP will make you more marketable to the organizations that use it. People sometimes branch into DevOps or Scrum roles. Those are more operations focused. Knowing the technicals really helps.

Cybersecurity

Cybersecurity is another option in tech. You need to pass Security+ and Network+. You need some solid projects and may have to volunteer some time. You can get around $50K-$60K entry level. TryHackMe.com is a very great free resource.

Project Management

Project Management is another area. You can get the PMP eventually. If you don't have college degree, you need 5 years of qualifying work experience to get it (college graduates only need 3). Most people start as a project coordinator and work their way up. I've come across project managers who make $150K-$300K+.

Product/Program Management

These aren't typical entry level roles and you need some domain level expertise. I've seen people make $100K-$1M+ at this level. The people at the top end have 10+ years experience that typically includes the top companies.

Marketing

You want to learn as much as you can through free resources. Salesforce Trailhead, HubSpot Academy, and Facebook Blueprint. Other companies have a bunch of free learning paths. You may have to do some volunteer work first to get some experience on your resume. You will probably start at like $40K-$60K entry level. Then you can work your way up. $120K-$200K is reasonable after getting 3 to 7 years experience. If you learn data analytics and automation, you can really increase your salary. Product marketing is a domain that pays very well. SEO is another area but that area is going through a lot of issues because of Google algorithm changes.

HR & Recruiting

Recruiting and HR have a lot of opportunities. Recruiting will be an absolute grind in the beginning. You can be internal or agency. People at agencies can make serious money. I've come recruiters without degrees and their own agencies make $100K1 in a MONTH. That isn't the norm. It takes years to really learn the industry. For HR, you will start at the bottom. Something like an HR associate or benefits associate. HRBP is a typical title. You have to really learns the ins and outs of compliance and systems. People who know HRIS (human resources information systems I believe) can get paid well since they are typically a pain in the ass to deal with.
I'm just scratching the surface. I didn't include careers in the trades or creative fields (photography, videography). I will.come back to edit this comment. I'm walking on a treadmill at the gym so excuse the typos.
You would also be surprised at what jobs you can break into without a degree. I did a resume for an accountant without a degree. He landed jobs that said CPA required. He couldn't sign off on things but he made over $110K. He started off as a bookkeeper and the most he ever got was his associates. He worked his way up to a controller.

Sobrang laking pasamalat sa reddit sub na ito from studying advice, resume advice at job hunt advice. Finally landed a job sa web. Now moving forward... As entry level hindi ko afford maging choosy, I grab the job na kaagad pero not the role I really love pero web development is web development parin.. Sa mga seasoned web developers. Paano kayo lumilipat lipat ng mga techstack? I mean transferrable ba ang mga knowledges halimbawa kung react developer ka moving to vue o kaya nodejs express going to java or .net backend... In changing tech knowledge or switching web dev roles. Do you need to go back sa junior position? At totoo ba na mas dumadami years of exp. Nababawasan yung mala-leet code na technical exams? Kung papalarin gusto ko talaga magfocus as backend dev. Love to hear your thoughts!!

Hey guys, I am currently a university student majoring in Computer Science, just finished my 2nd year. I've been working as a software developer intern at a local company, but I've been considering a transition into project management. I sometimes enjoy programming, but it's not really something I LOVE or enjoy, but at the same time, I plan on continuing my degree, but I believe my strengths and interests align more with project management. I would like some advice from those who have made a similar transition or have experience in project management. I would like to know the best steps to transition from a technical role to a project management role Some questions I have:

• I have looked into certifications like CAPM and PMP, but I'm not sure if they're the right fit for me at this time since I don't meet the requirements for either (On the PMI website) lol, are there any online courses or certifications on platforms like Coursera or Udemy that would provide similar knowledge and credibility? What other certifications/tools to learn that would you recommend for someone to do, to increase chances of transitioning careers?
• I have also heard mixed feelings about applying to product coordinator internships before applying to project management roles. Is that true/ the common path most people take? Should I do the same?
• What other entry level roles should I consider to gain relevant experience?
• Should I keep my Computer Science degree and internship experience on my resume when applying for product coordinator / project management roles? Or should I only keep my resume PM related, and nothing CS related?

I am contacted by scummy recruiters so often telling me my resume or LinkedIn is "amazing" only to ask me for the exact information that would have made my profile so "amazing" in the first place, oh and by the way the role pays $15/hr.
But I've found a solution to get myself taken off their lists, just ask them some fun questions back. For example...
"What specifically about my profile led you to believe I'd be a great fit? I'd love to know so I can optimize it!"
"Your client is bulk hiring? Are they having trouble with retention and turnover rates?"
"Why is the client seeking senior-level experience for entry-level roles?"
"Why is a prestigious client's budget $15/hr for a role that is normally between $30-$40?"
For some reason, I'm usually ghosted after that. Go figure.