Why did the farmer visit the pharmacy? To speak with the farm-assist.
Hi and welcome to my post! Wanted to start off with a funny to me dad joke.
Nice to meet you, I'm Dylan! To put it simple, I am a single 22 year old man who has been pretty lonely in life and lacking in female connection and interaction. And part of what comes with that is the desire to be intimate with a person. I am very mature for my age and will always be respectful of your boundaries and feelings, especially with anything sexual. Lately all I have is myself when it comes to sexual desires, so I would like to have someone to keep company with in that regard too.
I'm just relaxing at work since there's nothing really going on and thinking about going home tonight and burning a woodwick candle. Perfect for when there's a storm outside. I love candles! 🕯️ Sometimes a campfire outside on a fall night or a crackling WoodWick candle is a relaxing constant among our busy and hectic world. It's nice to just disconnect, feel grounded and happy in your own little cozy space. Feeling calm and collected and at peace. Something that fewer people take the time to do these days.
I am seeking a woman around my age or older to build a close connection with that could possibly lead to a relationship and something intimate which includes the possibility of teasing/sharing pics etc. but only when we were comfortable. Figured I would be open in my Intentions as that's the best way to be.
You:
Kind, respectful, and easy going.
Comfortable with the idea of eventually sharing intimate things together.
Willing to eventually move off of Reddit.
Want something genuine and fun!
Are honest in your intentions and a good person to be around!
That's about it, we will get along great I know it.
I've been feeling a little bummed out lately. I always try and stay happy and see the best in things. But.. I've just been so alone. Most of my whole childhood and adult years have been spent feeling lonely. I grew up surrounded by cornfields which was peaceful but also has a lonely aspect to it. My family never really were close and never did anything as a family really. And part of it too is the fact that I never had any neighbors my age to interact with. But aside from that, my adult life has been very lonely. I'm just always by myself. I barely have any meaningful adult relationships or experiences, or even any friends.
I work a 3-11 job in building maintenance at my company world headquarters building which I love, but again it's very lonely. I work the off shift so the building is always empty. I don't get normal social interaction with people my age or a chance to build relationships. I only have 3 older men as co-workers and we are mostly in the basement away from any people on the floors from knowing our existence. I always walk the floors and see office people laughing and chatting with their coworkers and I just don't have that kind of experience. And just.. no one knows I exist really. Everyone probably assumes I have a lot of friends, but I'm struggling inside with being so alone and trying to meet people and get past the "hi how are you?" "I'm good thanks" stage. Most people don't seem to want to talk beyond that. And most women are already in relationships and thus it would seem weird to approach them in an office setting trying to get to know them deeper. But man those "hi how are yous" are the only real interactions I get during my day.. so thus I decided to come here lol. Rant over, sorry! I promise I'm not a downer. 😅
Now for some things about me!
As you can tell, I am very mature for my age and am polite and have good grammar which unfortunately not everyone my age does anymore lol. I am not active at all on social media/internet culture really and don't know much about all the slang the younger people these days use. I feel like I'm 50. 🤣
I am left handed which is pretty cool. I'm not much of a party person or a drinker, I much prefer a quiet night at home and maybe a beer or two on a weekend but that's about it. I am simple and stay out of drama and trouble and don't get much into politics or other things that cause drama with people. I much prefer a relaxing campfire and a night at home and to just let the world keep on turning haha. I consider myself pretty intelligent and mature, especially for my age which is why I'm open to older ladies.
Physically I'm 180 pounds, have brown hair, green eyes, and a typical build. There's a few pictures on my profile.
Some of my hobbies are:
• Photography
I have a Nikon D200 and D5500 that I love to shoot with. I love nature scenes, abstract, black and white/goth kinda photography, sunsets, etc. it's so fun to just let your mind explore. It's not about what camera you have, but those who are behind the camera! I'm gonna try and photograph the northern lights tonight!
• Cooking and baking
I loveeee to cook and bake! I enjoy making various meals but also love to just have a frozen pizza once in awhile or something like that. I recently made homemade chili which turned out great. I love to bake, especially in the fall! I love pies, cakes, pastries, cookies, etc. I restored a vintage KitchenAid mixer that needed tbe gearbox rebuilt. Eventually I would love to practice home canning my own food.
• Music
Oh my gosh, I like so much!! Alternative rock, punk, post punk, electronic, synth pop, psychedelic rock, hard rock, etc. I am very non judgemental and open when it comes to music. My three current favorite bands are Type O Negative, Joy Division, and the Cure.
• Nature walks and camping
I really enjoy camping, making fires, and relaxing by a campfire. I love to take walks outside and just enjoy the beauty and simplicity of nature. It's wonderful, especially in a world so focused on everything digital.
• Repairing things
I'm a maintenance guy and one of my hobbies is electronics repair so I am good with my hands and just all around good at troubleshooting and fixing all sorts of things around the house. Last week I helped my elderly neighbor get his tractor started, it needed a new component in the starting circuit. So I'm pretty handy which... Comes in handy! 😂
• Autumn 🍁
This isn't a hobby per say, but man do I love the fall!!! It's my absolute favorite time of the year. Oh my gosh. The beautiful colors, crisp cool air, misty and foggy days, rain, lack of bugs, being cuddled up with a candle or by the fire drinking a tea, etc. I love it! There's only two seasons for me. Fall, and waiting for fall! Haha.
• Scented Candles and incense
Going along with my love for fall, I absolutely love candles! I have like 30 something lol. 😂 Currently my favorite are WoodWick, which are owned by Yankee candle. They have such a soothing crackle and the scents are great! I also love to burn incense from time to time as well. I have cottagecore hippie vibes.
• Old houses and architecture
I love old houses! Especially 1900s and Victorian era homes. Old homes have so much character to them and are just so beautiful from a time when people took pride in their craft. I strongly dislike the modern cookie cutter cheap construction of homes today. I would love to live in an old home one day. I also love their architecture and uniqueness, as well as architecture of old cathedrals and other buildings.
• Relaxing
Basic I know, but sometimes on the weekend I just love to get cozy in bed and relax and put on a YouTube video or an album! 😊
That's about it for me, I'm a pretty laid back and simple person. My ideal person is someone who is respectful and honest! I am very straightforward and open minded and would hope that you are as well.
If I seem interesting to you at all I would love to hear from you!
Thank you so much for reading.

Getting married this week! We decided to keep it super simple - going to a lovely local courthouse with our immediate family and dinner at a restaurant that has been a family fave since I was a kid. I'm wearing a dress from Anthropologie and he got a new suit because he is a dude without a non-office-looking suit : D I think our main splurge is a nice hotel that night. We're feeling good about it but will also miss all our friends and extended family.
As a personal finance nerd, I am really curious to know who all here went simpler vs. more extravagant and how you feel looking back on it.
How much did you spend on your wedding? What was the best/worst thing you splurged on? What was the best/worst thing you scrimped on? What would you do differently in terms of spending looking back?
Am I allowed to share any insights in my personal finance blog? It's not monetized and I'm not linking it. But I won't if not allowed : )

Anyway all points are bonus points. Picks must be in before each event. If you make your picks separately please post as a reply and not an edit of your picks. If you want to know what the format is this year. Jayski has a pretty good breakdown of the format.
https://www.jayski.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/31/2024/4/23/2024-AllStar-Format-scaled.jpg
 
Here is each category you can pick to score points.
 
2024 NASCAR Cup Series All-Star Race: Who do you think will win the All-Star Race. Pick 1 Driver
Award: 15 Bonus Points for overall winner, 10 for 2nd place, 8 for 3rd place, 7 for 4th place, decreasing by 1 point per position until 1 for 10th place. If your pick is leading at the competition caution they will earn an extra 1 Bonus Point.
 
2024 All-Star Qualifying & Pit Stop Competition: Which driver do you think will have the fastest time for qualifying and which crew will end up with the fastest pit stop. Pick 1 All-Star Driver
Award: 3 Bonus Points for picking the driver with the fast 3 laps. 3 Bonus Point for picking the pit crew with the fastest time.
 
2024 NASCAR Cup Series All-Star Open Winners: Who do you think will win the Open race and finish 2nd in the Open race to make the main event. Pick 2 drivers.
Award: 5 Bonus Points for picking the winner of the Open, 2 Bonus Points for picking 2nd place, and Additional 1 Bonus Point for picking the driver leading at the competition caution
 
2024 NASCAR Cup Series All-Star Open Qualifying: Who do you think will win the Pole for the Open race. Pick 1 driver.
Award: 1 Bonus Points for picking the winner of the Pole for the Open.
 
2024 NASCAR Cup Series All-Star Heats: Pick which driver you think will win each heat race. Pick 1 driver from each Heat.
Award: 3 Bonus Points for picking a Heat Race winner. 2 Bonus Points if your driver finishes 2nd in a Heat Race. 1 Bonus Point if your driver finishes 3rd in a Heat Race.
 
Fan Vote: Pick the driver you think will win the fan vote. Pick 1 Driver.
Award: 1 Bonus Points for picking who advances from the Fan Vote.
 
List of Due Times:
 
All-Star Race: Sun 5-19 ~8:00pm
Open: Sun 5-19 5:00pm
 
Fan Vote Winner: Sun 5-19 5:00pm
 
All-Star Race Heat Races: Sat 5-18 ~5:15pm
Pit Stop Competition/Qualifying: Fri 5-17 ~5:30pm
 
Here is an empty template so please make your picks on to make it easier for me.
 
All-Star Race Winner:
 
Open Pick 1:
Open Pick 2:
 
All-Star Heat Race #1 Winner:
All-Star Heat Race #2 Winner:
 
All-Star Qualifying and Pit Stop Competition Winner:
 
Pole Qualifying for the Open Winner:
 
Fan Vote:
 
If you have any questions just ask. Points from this weekend will be posted tomorrow night.

Sorry in advance if I sound like I am rambling. This just happened a few hours ago and I am still crying.
For some background, I (30 f) messaged my SIL (32f) yesterday to wish her a happy Mother’s Day and to let her know I had a gift for her and a gift for my niece (6f) for my nieces up coming birthday. I always make the kids in the family something for their birthday since I am rather crafty and prefer to be more original.
My SIL, BIL, DH and I have had a rocky relationship for years. The past couple of years I have been keeping my distance as I do not feel welcome and because I am working on boundaries. There were some accusations (most founded) that they were on drugs. That is some crap I do not want around my kids. Yet, it is my “issues” that cause tension in the family because I have decided that my little nuclear family deserves rve some peace. I only bend a little bit if there is a party because the kids adore each other.
SIL told me that my niece is having a party and we were supposed to be invited. I told her that surprised me since my MIL said she had not heard of a party. She told me this when we discussed the gift I made my niece. It is an epoxy hummingbird hair clip. It took a lot of time to get right and I was quite proud of it.
SIL said BIL was supposed to extend invites to his side of the family. MIL showed me screenshots of the messages where he asked if my kids were coming (as usual) but no word of me.
SIL wrote a huge message saying BIL didn’t have a way to get a hold of me or my DH, and that of course we were invited as we are family.
It is important to note that they hold their children above our heads as a threat to take them away at the drop of a hat if things do not go their way. This has caused a lot of drama over the past 8 years. The past 2 of which I thought we were on bad terms. This was based on some comments the kids often made and the last time we said more than 2 words to each other it was a big fight.
I told SIL that it did not seem like BIL wanted me there for anything more than my kids and that I did not feel comfortable because the only person who even mentioned that I was welcome was SIL. I have gotten to the point where if I do not feel welcome I will not go. I suffer from Fibromyalgia, depression, and anxiety. And while I am doing better to take care of myself, things are still difficult.
I told SIL that it was ok, I don’t want to cause tension and I actually had plans to see my mom this weekend. My mom lives a couple of hours away and sometimes I get to see my brother. It is cathartic for all of us as my husband gets a break before and after work and I get my family time once or twice a month. We normally craft together and have our “crafting therapy” which is something I really need lately.
The last couple of times I went to my mom’s my son was with MIL and FIL. My mom had me promise that during the summer I would bring my son with me at least once a month. I think this is fair so I agreed.
My SIL wrote a long answer that she sent when I was taking a nap, (No sleep last night so my nerves are frayed) Honestly I have read it twice and have not retained much of the message.
During my nap I missed 2 calls from my MIL. Then I woke up to my MIL bursting into my bedroom, no we do not live with her; she drove to our house, pounded on our door, DH let her in. She barged into my room and started yelling at me. How could I tell SIL that the screenshots were sent to me? How could I tell her we talk? (Huh?) Do I know that SIL called MIL screaming about everything? Do I know FIL is on the phone in a screaming match with BIL? And the last one was that SIL told MIL that if I do not come to my nieces birthday then my MIL would not be allowed to see the kids again.
I woke up to all of this. My DH was trying to figure out what was going on or how to handle it.
Just as quick as MIL came, she turned around and left. I offered to show her exactly what I said, but no. All my fault.
I know this situation is all drama. This is the first time in 2 years that I tried to have an actual conversation with SIL. I tried to be honest, not even brutally, just honest about how I feel.
After MIL left, my kids came in my room and hugged me. They heard everything. What 6 and 3 year old needs to see their mom break down like that?
I called my mom and told her everything and that I started falling into the dark hole of depression again. I know I am exhausted both physically and emotionally. I just needed to get this out.
This is not the first time taking the kids away has been used as a manipulation tool but this time I am being blamed for it. IDK what to do. I just want to curl up into a ball and hide from everything. I want to see my family and to stop feeling like a pawn of this fucked up chess game. I need to remember I am the queen of my own set, tackling my own problems on my own board. I was finally getting to a good place. I just hope this crap does not derail my progress again.
Thank you for reading my rant

I 22f have been working in this company as vob trainee in health insurance company. I feel like im overqualified for this. So hear me out. I have relatively great results in O/L's and A/L's. I have good proffieciany in 3 languages and also currently doing my degree in business data analytics in ny 2nd year. This is my 1st job and im havibg this 6 month break in my university. So my plan for now is to do a job in between this 6 month. So when i started applying for this job i didnt have much of an idea of my role. But now im aware that its just billing and stuff, which seems really boring. Is staying in this job and getting a service letter would benefit me or should i quit?? Or can i talk to my HR and see whether i can change my team or department or should i just stay coz this is what i deserve?? I feel so overwhelmed and feels all my effort all these years is a vain. What should i do?? Sorry im typing this in so much confution and distress so hope its clear.
Any advices are welcomed. :((((

I got my thyroid completely removed march 1st. To be honest. I’m not sure how I feel about it. Like at first I felt like it was going to make me better, which maybe it will. Maybe it won’t. I don’t know. And I feel like that’s the issue.
My doctors appointment was 2 weeks ago to go over results and right now my levels are low. If I remember correctly it was at .40 and my tsh was 10+ extremely high.
Towards the end of the nights I get tired but overall I feel like I don’t feel “down” like a hypo person would be.
What’s bringing me to this group is hopefully understanding more of what to look out for.
I feel more angry or once something puts me in a bad mood, it takes me a bit longer to get out of it. I’ll never know what feels “like me” “this is what I should feel like” or at least that’s how I feel that I’ll never reach it. I’m pretty impatient lol no testing for another 6 weeks?? And 6 months? I’m sorta lost and know I needs these meds for life but what should my body feel when levels are good.
If it’s too hard to answer cause every person is different, I get it but I just need to see what’s out there.

For context we have not been in contact since a pretty big falling out that culminated in our father kicking me and my siblings out on Christmas (we live out of town). He has not attempted to reach out until now and included us all in this email. I’m not sure what to make of it.
“So much time has passed since we last saw each other. It’s been far too much time. I know that I hurt you on Christmas night, and I know that I hurt each of you in the past as well. I want you to know that was never my intention. I always tried to be the best man and the best father that I could be …but I know that at times, my best wasn’t good enough.
I have learned a lot about myself over the past 16 months. I have been actively participating in therapy sessions, and I’ve realized some of the mistakes that I’ve made. I’ve also learned a lot about family through this enlightening process. I have learned about how the experiences from my childhood have impacted me as a person, and as a father. I wasn’t raised in a happy, functional family. That’s the kind of family that you deserved, and I tried to break the cycle of generational trauma in order to give that to you, but it was difficult as a single father with no personal nurturing parental experience to refer to.
I now know that you needed more patience, understanding, attention, and love from me. I know that I haven’t been perfect and I know I will continue to have imperfections …but I will try my best to improve. I am hoping that you can give me your co-operation, patience, and compassion to give me the chance to be the father that you need.
I hope we can reconnect and start communicating again. I would like to work on this together. I sent this email to everyone, but please feel free to message me individually. I really look forward to hearing from each one of you, when you are ready. If not today, then hopefully one day soon.”

Throughout the show, peaches are referenced through the Peach Truck, Victor's love for them, and their until recently neverending nature. We even have Randall say to Bakta "You're a peach". It's clearly part of the origin story, because it's heavily emphasised.
But it's such a vague clue. I've been searching for early Tudor era due to the 1506 date, and my understanding that this all begins when John Cabot sets off for his voyage in Newfoundland in May of 1498.
But peach references for that era are few and far between, they were just a luxury fruit grown in gardens, primarily in France but also England and Italy. It was a perishable good, so it was rarely traded. And peaches would be rot on a voyage, and dried peaches would be very expensive as rations. If anything, they'd have brought peach pits for planting with them, but Newfoundland is far too cold for them to grow - though they may not know that and bring them anyway.
So I searched for more references on the show. And I realised something.
Fatima says "Take your peaches" to Victor twice.
Victor says "No more peaches" several times.
Remember, Fatima says something like, "This place is trying to tell us something, and only some of us are listening closely enough to hear it."
If you look at it, it kind of looks like someone is force feeding someone saying "take your peaches!" and the other begging "no more peaches".
I have been absolutely wracking my brains trying to figure out what it means. And a crazy coincidence made me stumble across a possible answer.
I was almost going to turn in for the night, when I visited this page after searching "peach" "1498"
https://pulcinellapasta.wordpress.com/2014/08/04/peaches-prunus-persica/
There, it mentions a Friar named Girolamo Savonarola, who I recognised from previous research. Primarily because I'm convinced that various condemned to death criminals are secretly headed to Newfoundland. John Cabot, was part of a secretive order called Brotherhood of St. John the Evangelist of Death, who gave alms to condemned criminals. This friar was supposedly burned for heresy in 1498 for making mad prophecies.
But I dismissed him, because I didn't think there'd be two priests on the island (I think Friar Carbonaris, who funded Cabot's voyage, must be there).
In any case, the article said that Girolamo believed that peaches were poisonous. So I searched:
"Girolamo Savonarola" "peach"
And this website came up:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trial_by_ordeal
I instantly clicked - because I am also of the belief that there is a witch trial with various tortures in the origin story too.
Now, the section on peaches and Girolamo Savonarola are completely different. He was in the "by fire" section and the word "peach" was in the "by poison" section. Here's what the peach section said:
The "penalty of the peach" was an ancient ordeal that involved peach pits or their extracts. The pits contain amygdalin, which is metabolized into cyanide.
I am now of the opinion that it is indeed this torture that is being referenced. Imagine if you will, that Cabot and his colonists brought peach pits, as many other colonists did in that era (Virginia was full of peach trees in Jamestown, and the Spanish brought them too). The peach pits wont grow (too cold). They stop planting them.
Later, in the witch trial, Girolamo Savonarola, the mad friar (I now no longer think Carbonaris is the evil priest) force feeds the Witch or someone she cares about, peach pits, knowing they are poisonous.
As a reminder to her in the current timeline, he feeds Victor only peaches, sending a whole truck full as a reminder to her of what she endured.

Just finished 8-12. Five disconnects all resulting in losses. Started the night 8-7. Should’ve been pretty easy to get at least one player pick. But nope. This ineffectual, incompetent, dysfunctional brood of knuckle-dragging mouth breathers who run EA are just counting their money.
This isn’t going to change with a halfhearted protest or boycott. The only way EA will actually influence change is if there is competition. Another game that can bust their monopoly and make it so they actually have to spend money and time on making a good game.

Hey I know we talk to each other all the time but this is so much more than the talks we have everyday, this is my way to say how grateful I am for the motivation and support that I’ve received from you through life and school itself.
Since I moved to the U.S I have moved to a lot of states before finding the stability I found when I moved to Hartford. The first time I got to Hartford I was with the expectation of enjoying it the least knowing that probably in any time longer I was probably moving again. It was post- covid so school in person was optional, when I started school I only had to go there for only a month because we moved really late in the school year. You were the only person who I knew, the only person who supported me when I got told that my credits wouldn’t work for me to be in 11th grade so I got lowered. You were so happy about it, we were gonna graduate together but you knew I wasn’t so happy because my biggest goal was to graduate. School sophomore year and I got to know your friends. My whole summer I wished for school to start so I could see that “friend” I made, but I suppose summer made me forget you had a life before I came to it. My second year of high school and the worst decisions of my whole life. “The people you surround yourself with are excellent mirrors for who you are” I don’t really know who said that but i’m pretty sure he didn’t lie with that quote. My sophomore year was surrounded with bad friends and a lot of skipping class and disrespecting teachers just because “school wasn’t that important in sophomore year”, you made my Bulkeley school years important. At the middle of the year you were there reminding me my purpose and that after finishing something another thing always started. There’s no more way of saying how thankful I am for you being my friend, for you showing me how to look better to myself. You gave me power to get to try things I was really scared to try before and even cheered me while doing those things. You made a group of friends who were comfortable with themselves and with each other and that is the most valuable thing to me. You made me feel like I was gonna stay forever with you all, and it didn’t happen. I knew that good things don’t last very long but I was never ready to let go of any of y’all. I’m so grateful I got to know y’all, Kharla, Martin, Jeremy, Zari, Jennifer, Natalie, and to me the most important, You. Thank you so much Dani for being the person who gives me motivation to be who I am right now. There’s no one else that I would dedicate a letter of gratitude to than to you. Thank You

Sorry this is so long but i’ve wanted to vent about this for some time. I guess i’ll start with some background info. when i was 20 i was living with my bf for 2 years but started to sleep at my parents house some nights because i was dealing with bad depression. my mom was always my main support system and i wanted to be around her more. i told my parents i was thinking about checking myself back into the psych ward (i’m diagnosed as bipolar) so i can get help bc i was having Sui**dal thoughts again. My dad told me he would just buy me a puppy for emotional support because he didn’t want to see me go back to the hospital after what i had went through there previously.
The dog was technically mine, i mean he bought her for me / thought she would make my mental health better. But when i ended up fully living with my bf again she stood with my parents & pretty much became their dog. I didn’t really care bc me & my bf ended up getting a dog of our own shortly after this.
That was 5 years ago. Last year my parents bought a house after they retired & obviously brought the dog with them. I want to point out that my dad has ALWAYS suffered with anxiety.. he’s actually currently in therapy and has been for a while. He has a psychiatrist & he used to be on antidepressants but now he’s only on medication for his anxiety as his depression has gotten better than it was before. I think he was happier with the quality of his life after the move.
The problem is he cannot leave the house or go ANYWHERE without bringing the dog with him. And he will NEVER leave her home alone EVER. Not even for five minutes. My mom doesn’t drive so whenever they run errands they run them together in my dads car. This dog goes to the grocery store with them .. she goes on dates with them ( they don’t eat out anywhere unless they are allowed to bring the door / only if the place has outdoor seating ) They bring her to Walmart, Doctors appointments ( my mom will usually wait in the car with the dog while my dad goes to his appointment if he wants my mom to come with him) The only time he’s not with the dog is if he takes a drive / runs an errand alone then he will leave her in the house with my mom. But since they moved, they have never both gone out on any sort of date alone without having the dog with them.
My mom really wanted to do this outdoor activity with him recently but he said they couldn’t go because the place didn’t allow dogs, so she went alone. A couple months ago their neighbors invited over them for a dinner party at their house which is literally 1 house over. My mom told my dad that she really would like if they leave the dog home alone because she wants to spend time with him & other people without having the dog with them.
They get to the neighbors house… 15 mins pass and my dad says he is going back home to check on the dog. Now idk how true this is what he told my mom. Apparentky when he got back home the dog pooped and peed everywhere in the house (like nervous poops i guess) & was crying and in so much distraught when he got back. He goes back to the neighbors house since it’s a couple feet away… makes an announcement to everyone that the dog “isn’t doing too good” & says he’s gonna go back home to be with her 🤦‍♀️
My mom was enjoying herself and didn’t want to leave so she told him to just go home but that she was going to stay for the dinner party. He went back home.
Another thing that happened which i feel like is really weird is that i feel like he’s trying to replace the dog with me. I haven’t lived with my parents in years & they live in a whole different state now. When i was a little girl i had this childrens plate that i ate breakfast on. Everyone in the house knew it as my plate. I also had a bowl with my name on the inside of it. Before i moved out of their apartment i left my blanket over there that i would sleep with every night as an adult. I never felt the need to bring it to my bfs house so i just left it there.
The first time i visited them i went in their cabinet while my food was cooking & i saw my child plate and thought it would be funny if i ate on it. I went to put my food on it & my dad screamed at me & said it was the dogs plate that she eats on & that i can’t use it because it’s her plate now. I thought he was joking but he wasn’t. He home cooks every meal for her & also feeds her by hand out the plate.. on both that plate and the bowl with my name on it. My parents have 2 couches. I noticed one of the couch had my blanket on it from their last apartment, & my dog was sitting on that couch. I wanted to sit with her while we watched a movie & so i grabbed the blanket and put it over me. My dad yelled at me & told me that’s her blanket & not to use it. At that point i literally looked at him and said “ it’s a blanket … and it’s a HUGE blanket why can’t i use it ??? she can still lay down with me” Then he was just like okay whatever & my mom also said it wasn’t a big deal …
I went to visit my parents over the weekend and my mom privately expressed to me that she wishes they could just go places without the dog. She said she really doesn’t want to bring the dog out with them every single time they have to run an errand. Sometimes she just wants alone time with my dad without having to worry about it they can bring the dog somewhere or not. I told her that they don’t need to bring the dog everywhere with them. She’ll be fine if they leave her alone, she’s not a puppy anymore. She said she knows this but that my dad doesn’t believe that she will be fine if she’s left home alone. She also feels like he needs the dog to be with him at all time because of HIS anxiety, not the dogs. I feel like my dad is the reason my dog has anxiety because she’s never left alone. & tbh even though physically she would be okay if they left her home alone mentally she prob would freak out since he will never put her in that situation. She’s brought this up to my dad and she said he doesn’t listen. He believes if they can bring the dog everywhere with them that there’s no reason to leave her home alone.
I just feel like something is really wrong mentally with my dad because of all of this. I think his anxiety is definitely a major factor to why he feels this way. But he also doesn’t realize that it’s effecting my mom negatively. I told her that she needs to really tell him this is becoming an issue but i think she’s scared to because he’s been dismissive about it before & gets upset with her when she brings it up. He’s in therapy.. but obviously this is never a topic of conversation that he can heal from because he doesn’t see an issue with it & isn’t going to bring it up to his therapist. If i said something to him i think i would seriously offend him & he would probably say that i have no right to say anything about his relationship with the dog because i don’t live under their roof.
Why is he like this? Do you think he needs the dog or believes the dog needs him? Will he ever change? Will my parents marriage eventually crumble because of this?
TL;DR - My dad has an unhealthy obsession with his dog & it’s starting to effect my mom. He can’t leave the house without her or do anything outdoors with my mom without bringing the dog. He has only left her home alone once in the 6 years they’ve had the dog. He thinks his behavior is normal & I’m trying to figure out why he is this way.

LIBRA ZODIAC PREDICTIONS MAY 2024

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Hello, I am a Hagwon teacher in my third year in Busan. In March, I signed my third contract with my academy, however I knew it would likely be my last with them. It is honestly one of the best places I have worked, my co-workers are great and helpful both in school and out. My apartment is in my own name, not my schools, and the contract is up at the end of June. I decided to move closer to where I spend the majority of my social time and commute to work, which would be cheaper in the long run. I gave notice on my apartment as per my contract and need to be out by the final day. All good, except last night before leaving work we were told that as of the beginning of June (no confirmed date yet), our academy is no more. We are 'merging' with another in the area and need to re-interview for our jobs. There's no contract offers yet, but my director couldn't promise it would be comparable to what we have now. I am waiting to see what they offer but I am not sure I want to work here.
I am a good saver, and with the severance I am owed, I want to go on a D10 instead and take some time to figure out my next step and move apartments. Recently, I had a health scare so the time off is very much needed. I have never taken a day off since I got here in 2022 unless they were red days. My issue is all my moving will take place (at the end of June) after I have to apply for the visa (at the start of June) so by the time I, hopefully, get the new visa my living situation will have changed. I believe it can take 3 to 4 weeks to get the D10 and I need to report a change of address within 2 weeks of moving.
Can anyone with experience let me know if that's okay? Or should I bite the bullet and try secure a new apartment contract in the next 3 weeks before I need to change my visa and just pay the 2 apartment's rents for one month? Thanks in advance!

Some preliminary info:
My mum and I have lived in our townhouse for over 10 years. During that time, we have constructed planter boxes that are set on our driveway (we don't own a car, so we use the space for that). For many years my mother has carried out her hobby of gardening there. We received new neighbors approximately 1.5 years ago. For the longest time, they would be throwing parties that would leak over to the AMs of the next day, as well as do renovations. While being understanding, it got to a point where my mum couldn't take the noise anymore at night. After numerous attempts to contact our new neighbours to decrease the noise of their parties, she finally made a noise complaint to a city. Parties started to occur less frequently.
THEN came the REALLY noisy stuff. The majority of my neighbors' renovation was to finish the basement. It was during this time when OUR house would start to shake at times. Aside from the fact that this distracted my mum from doing her (remote) job, it drew a concern as to what could possibly be happening in their basement that would cause OUR house to shake. Again, she reached out to them numerous times, with vague answers. And again my mother filed an anonymous complaint.
Turned out, they did not have the permits for the type of construction they were doing in the basement. They got super-peeved at us, as they now were delayed and had to spend a bit more money.
Anyways, fast forward to 1.5 months ago, I'm helping mum with gardening stuff. The male neighbor (of the couple) decides to approach us. He decides to "apologize" and be the "bettebigger person". Following his apology though, he makes a complaint about one of our planter boxes, the one that borders the property line between us. He says that some of the wood pieces are falling off/poking out onto his property (fair, though my mum reckons he purposely took some of the pieces of, but that's speculation). He decides to give us an ultimatum: either move the planter box more onto our property (an inch our two, but with soil and wood, probably weighs a ton, so not happening), repair the boards, or destroy it. Otherwise he will complain to the city that the planter box is on his property. So.... he's still a little butthurt that we complained to the city of his actions, and wants to have something over us.
But my mum remained positive. Understanding that the outer pieces of the planter box ARE weathered (some scrap 2x4s, some decent pieces of wood), she set out to buy sheets of new plywood that would be weather-proofed, and would replace those pieces after I took them out and drilled the sheets in.
This evening we were measuring the dimensions of the planter box to figure out what lengths I would need to cut the plywood. To make one of these measurements, we had to step into our neighbors' driveway. He saw what we were doing, and asked us to get of his property. We explained what we were doing, to which he responded "unless YOU have a permit to do this, the only thing you can do is destroy it, otherwise I'll be filing my own complaints" (not verbatim, but that was the gist of it). My mum and him at a little tiff, but I got the last of the measurements for us to then leave his driveway.
I am not a confrontational person; I'm not good at aggression or telling strangers to fuck off. But I do not like the fact that I have this intimidating dude trying to scare my old mum and threatening her to destroy something she's worked years on. Furthermore, I have the following contentions:

• The planter box on the property line border was there WAY before the new neighbors bought the place. To me, the fact that they bought it at all should also be an okay/acknowledgement of the placement of the box on the property line; unless something happened to it that ACTUALLY affects them (eg breaks and soil spills over), they shouldn't (?) have a problem.
  
• We reached out multiple times to them, trying to be civil; if they responded in kind, reassuring us in some fashion, I believe we wouldn't be in this mess, especially if you're doing things you ought to get a permit for. I get taking a few shortcuts here and there, but not a good idea trying to do so if you can't cover your ass/be cautious
  
• I looked at City of Toronto's website (https://www.toronto.ca/services-payments/building-construction/apply-for-a-building-permit/when-do-i-need-a-building-permit/), while it DEFINITELY says one is required when finishing a basement (so we were right to complain), don't think I see one particular about changing out wood for a planter box (which I am not considering an addition to the house, as a line of pots would basically be the same thing)
  
• I am borderline worried he'll try to go out of his way to get my mum in trouble
  
• How else are we gonna replace the old wood with new if we aren't on their property a little? We're specifically doing it because they don't want any of the old stuff breaking off into their driveway (potentially damaging their capop a tire, according to them) in the future. It's gotta make sense!
  
• I think he was "trying to be nice/bigger person", but he just wants to make as sad for making him spend more money and time by making us destroy our own stuff. So much for self-improvement on his part I guess.
  

Anyways, I think we'll try our best to fix up the box as efficiently as we can. We won't be covert about it, but to avoid the neighbors yelling at us again, not gonna loudly advertise it. Just drill out screws, take pieces out, and drill in a big sheet. But does anyone want to chime in on what rights I have if this guy calls the cops on us or makes a scene? Again, we're doing this at HIS request, and he's making it difficult to do. Or if you believe there is bias on my part, feel free to point it out! Free to answer questions as well. Hope I was able to get my points across. Any law stuff would help also!

So here’s the story. In 2018 I went through a horrible depression. Could not go outside or I would have a panic attack. I went got therapy and slowly started feeling better. I was on a dating app and match with her. She was cute and I am well not so confident. It was just supposed to be a hook up but it obviously did not turn out that way. She was a absolute alcoholic. Before she met me she would hang out with guys for alcohol. I being stupid and young gave her the same thing. We hooked up the second date and I felt in love. Stupidly I told her I love her and she said I love you. Our first bit was just us getting drunk and not giving two fucks. Then I kinda stoped wanting to do it cause my friends put some light in my head. But she was out of control. She would tell me she is not drunk but was absolutely gone. I would tell her please tell me the truth and she would not. It got really bad. I would time and time again say if you don’t fix this and get help then im done. But honestly in the back of my head I was too weak to lose her. It got to the point when she would steal it from my mom and I lost it on her. I sat her down and said im done if this continues I can’t be with you. And actually it worked. That was all in the first year. We would fight constantly. I would say im done to try and put fear into her. She would snap so quick I like to think im a good guy but she honestly brought the worst out in me. She would drink here and there but it was socially. Fast forward 3 years and we ended up getting a place. Things would be so good but when things where bad they where horrible. I was so lazy I would come home from work and just lay down. Not clean not take good care of myself. I think I was depressed but maybe didn’t realize it. She would be so good. But you say the wrong thing and it was so bad. The drinking gave me horrible trust issues and when I would ask her things she would be pissed at me. Saying “why don’t you trust me” and then I was the bad guy. I gave her so much. I would of done anything for her. The past couple months she has got back into drinking. She was honest with me. But she would get drunk probably every day. Finding reason to why. “My boss was too much today” “my pet died” I would try and help but one ear and out the other with her. Her problem was hard liquor I said we can drink but only on weekends. I hated her drinking hard liquor. So about a week ago now. I went to pick her up from her friends. And I could tell instantly she was drunk. I said “ your drunk how much did you drink” and she said “I only had 3 coolers” honestly I snapped cause it was getting out of hands. Her so called friend would allow her to get drunk at her place when she knows she is trying to not be a alcoholic. My friends would give me shit if I did something like that. And I’m great full for them. I said I’m done not meaning it trying to put fear hoping she would wake up. But this time she was done. Her friend probably gassed her up saying she does not need me. I begged her I apologized. I asked her if we can fix it and she just said no she has no more love for me. Side note I want to have kids someday soon and my believe was she would too I mean she would always say not right now and I said it’s no rush. But that night she just said she does not really want children. I was so fucking hurt. She lied. She was done . For 2 days I tried to fix it and all she would say is leave me alone. Then she went back to her parents. I would message her nonstop begging for another chance. She said give her space. She said we can talk in a couple days. I was relieved. Then one day she said she was going to come by. And if I could pick her up. I was out so I could not. When I came home a lot of stuff was gone. (Her stuff) so I messaged her I guess your done? And she said it’s not going to work out. Never gave me the chance to talk. I was so lost I would look at pictures of how happy we where and think of her with other people and get sick. I spammed her with messages begging but she would just ignore me. I made her feel like the winner even though she fucked it up. She was my first love. I thought she would be mine forever. But no. I’m scared that in 2 weeks from now she will try to get back together and I will be too weak to say no. BPD is not fun. And I’m so hurt rn. Everything I do I think about when it was with her. If you read all of this thank you. Sorry if grammar is not the best.

Hello, sorry if I'm posting in the wrong thread but I don't have anywhere else to go. I don't know if I'm reading the situation wrong/if I'm the crazy exaggerator so here I wanted an outside opinion.
For context, me and my sister were raised by my single mom, who is also an immigrant. My sister has classified my mom as a narcissist and an abuser, and I would definitely agree that she has narcissistic tendencies, they're pretty much in line with the "immigrant parent" experience and although the abuse has lessened with age.
My sister was pretty much the scapegoat and I was the golden child 80% of the time; the only time I was "the problem" was when social issues were involved as I was very much autistic+ADD and had no idea how to relate to others, so I was bullied and blamed for it. My sister has ADHD and was terrible at school, which is where a lot of my mom's anger towards her came from. She's very bitter about the majority of our childhood, which I understand; there are things that happened that I will also simply never recover from, even with therapy.
My sister is bubbly, charismatic, and very empathetic. I can't stress that enough; everyone loves her. She's friends with random people in our neighborhood, she talks to and befriends homeless people, and is training to be a social worker. She has many close friends and talks to them all day and night. Our relationship was pretty rocky when we were kids, and I can't say that we're as close as some siblings are, but I always thought our relationship was okay. My mom would sometimes complain that we were against her, but I think she was just frustrated that we wouldn't turn on each other easily. However, I did start to notice a few things about my sisters behavior that is concerning me.

• She has a victim complex/hard time doing anything important by herself, but only when I'm available to help/do it for her.

I think this is a consequence of her never being trusted to do things as a child, but I thought she would attempt to get better with age. Nope. She would ask me to fill out her student loan and passport forms, saying that she was scared to get things wrong. When I would try to get her to do it herself, she would get upset with me and call me selfish. She says that this is because she feels that she is not smart enough to do anything bc of her childhood; fair, but she's 22 now, so I think she should try to help herself out and try to build confidence. She now pays her friends to fill out forms for her; one of them is actually being paid to apply for graduate programs for her. Any mention of this makes her talk about how badly she was treated as a kid and how its lead to her being so scared of doing anything, so OF COURSE she needs help 24/7.
But at the same time, she goes out of her way to help other people with their paperwork; she even helped a coworker get into grant/loan program for university, and that paperwork was 10 times harder than what she has to fill out. It's very confusing, it makes me feel like she does these things so people like her.

• She hates responsibility.
  I feel like this is her being self aware that she's sort of useless. For example; she doesn't have a credit card, and just uses my moms/mine and pays us back at the end of the month. Recently, I asked her to stop using my credit card since she kept forgetting to pay me the right amount. She also had this habit of using my card as a form of revenge against me if I forgot to pick up her things during my grocery run (she can't drive). She would also threaten to use my card if I didn't do things for her (she said it was a joke, but it rubbed me the wrong way). Anyway, she got upset and said she needed my card for emergencies. I asked why she didn't just apply for a credit card. She said she was unsure if she would be responsible enough to manage a credit cards and make payments on time. But...she felt comfortable using MY card? The one that I have to manage and make sure payments are made on time? I explained how worrisome that was and she just told me I was crazy and controlling.
  

This has also steeped into how she approaches things like deadlines. She missed a deadline for a grant she really needed (twice) and spent an entire week emailing the grant team asking them to accept her application, and then emailing their bosses when they refused. Whenever she's rejected from graduate programs she's always confused and says she should've gotten in, even though there are some clear deficits in her applications.

• She is always telling me how bad of a person I am when I don't do as she says. Like, morally.

A good example I can think of is that she asked me to chip in $23 for her friends birthday; I was confused why I had to pay since the girl wasn't MY friend. My sister argued that since I had talked to her and liked her, this made us friends, and friends contribute to birthdays. She also said if I backed out then she would have to split my part over other people who I would consider to be my friends and that those friends were in tight financial situations, so I would be a shitty person for making them pay extra. I still refused to pay; this really had nothing to do with me. She just looked at me and said that she was surprised that I was such a shitty person. There are similar stories to this; whenever she wants me to do something and I refuse, she makes me out to be a horrible person. Not in a yelling/screaming way; she just comments "oh, never knew you were that shitty" and keeps it up for however long it is until I do the thing she asked for. for some reason I never really saw them as weird until I brought it up with some friends and they said that was messed up.

• She makes fun of/belittles me in front of her friends constantly, but gets upset when I do it back.

^pretty self explanatory. a lot of my sisters friends really like me; I think they see me as a big sister, and a lot of them are in similar situations/career paths as me. They're all very nice. My sister and I are very snarky towards each other, but she is especially mean to me in front of her friends. I'm not 100% sure what she says either; she tries her best to make sure I'm not around much when she's talking to her friends, going out of her way to make sure to exclude me from any plans she makes even when her friends want me to come. She also enjoys rubbing the fact she has friends/plans that I can't join in my face. I'm usually quite busy so it doesn't bother me much, but I have noticed it. she also tends to try and be mean to me in front of them as a joke, but if I snap back I can tell that she gets upset about it. She's asked me to not call her things like stupid in front of her friends (fair, she can be super sensitive about that), but has told many of them about my ASD without my permission (she only asked when they let it slip that they knew). So that's weird.

• she is always switching up the narrative.

this is the thing that makes me feel INSANE. she is always telling me how horrible she has it at home and how much our mom hates her, and how I will never understand how it feels to be her so it's unfair when I call her out on things like not doing chores (like she does to me) because she will always be scolded more harshly than I will be. that's fine, a little grace is fine, but then she'll just outright lie about how "great" she is. For example, in the summer my mother was gone, so we split the chores in the house. I work a lot on weekdays, so she was to take care of general upkeep, and I would do the heavy chores (taking laundry to the laundromat, cooking in bulk for the week, mopping and vacuuming the apartment) on the weekend. I noticed that she would often not be the best at this, but as long as I could fix it on the weekend it was fine. But if I ever messed up, she would be merciless; she refused to wash the dishes for a whole week because I couldn't do them on Sunday since I had extra errands to run that weekend. I brought this up to her and she said we split the chores and that was that. I pointed out that she wasn't keeping her end of the bargain either, but she told me she was simply too busy to keep up with all the work she was being given and that the chore split was unfair anyway. I didn't really know how to deal with that so I dropped it.

• She sets boundaries, but I can't.

There are more issues but I will leave it at this one for last. She has always been very vocal about setting boundaries with me and my mom. For example, we can't give her chores last minute or it messes up her schedule (even if she's doing nothing). She's also really big on talking issues out, but usually the talk just keeps going until we agree with whatever she's saying. Personally, I am the type of person who gets really short and petty when I'm angry, so its not a good idea to talk to me. She will INSIST on talking to me even when I want to shut the conversation down and say my refusal to talk is just proof that she's right and I'm wrong. But if I talk, the conversation will just repeat itself until she gets the answer she wants out of me. She's very good with therapy-speech as well; to be honest, she always sounds condescending when she argues with me or my mom even though she says I'm just projecting. I could be, but I don't hear it when she's arguing with her friends or in online classes.
I'm probably being very one sided here, but whenever I think about some of these issues it just reminds me of my mom in a way. I've survived my mom by just nodding along and waiting for the storm to blow over, but my sisters actions are much more annoying to me for some reason. If anyone has any input it would be appreciated. I don't want to think I'm living with 2 narcissists; maybe I'm actually the problem. because of my ASD I find it very hard to communicate my feelings and I tend to shut up or become very mean and short at random times. I try my best but I do need to work on using my words and making sure they can't be used against me.

Dearest gentle readers, did you miss me? it’s time for season 2! I’m gonna try to do all 8 episodes before s3 drops
Episode 1

• Daphne’s bangs have transformed from pringles mustache to a lovely diadem of hair
• I love lady danbury’s structural lace collar capelet
• The featherington mourning wear is twice as unflattering
• Lol @ gregory rolling his eyes about anthony’s list
• The art in the opening credits is interesting. The texture of it reminds me of a video game
• Ah penelope knows her worth and raised her prices. We love to see it
• Sharpening my knives for all of you damn girl
• pen’s fake irish accent is somehow different than nic’s real irish accent
• “Theyre the ones running around while you sit on your arse” get ‘im girl
• “All the young ladies looked the same” rude
• Violet: you want to give my treasured ring to just some girl? Do you have no respect for love? for me?
• The brothel scenes always crack me up because its just a bunch of big velvet curtains and some candelabras in the background. but Ive never been to a brothel so maybe thats accurate
• Anthony’s perfect lady: independent, intelligent, agreeable, no mama drama. May i suggest a golden retriever
• Anthony did not come off as this heavy-headed, overly burdened with responsibility tortured poet soul in season 1
• Kate!!
• Anthony is surprised and turned on
• It sounds like kate says “Oh fuck it” when he pulls up next to her but the captions say [speaks hindi] does anyone know what shes saying?
• Anthony is absolutely smitten. The stubborn dumbass
• Newton! LD is not a dog person
• The mature age of “six and twenty” keels over as an elderly 31yr old
• Eloise has a new ribbon hat contraption. This one has a round felt disc a la a beret
• Pens face as el talks shit about LW >:(
• Potatoes again?? Yes please
• Favorite fun fact: potatoes are an excellent source of vitamins and minerals, and adding cheese adds calcium/vitamin d and makes it a complete vitamin source. My daily intake of cheesy potatoes is like a flintstone vitamin
• Lol the feather’s maid is like why dont you try selling some of this fancy shit if you need money so bad
• Kate has a blue ribbon braided in her hair. Its so pretty. This cerulean shade looks stunning on her. She’s wearing the bridgerton blue from day 1 ♥️
• Edwina’s perfect match: charming, handsome, a duke or a prince. Might i suggest a king charles spaniel?
• Kate’s perfect match: someone who understands her on a deep spiritual level. Might i suggest anthony
• As the sharmas walk into the ball, theres a horse pulling a carriage that looks like its feet are tied together or something. Its doing the strangest walk
• I love the classical version of material girl
• QC like hi mary still hate you bitch ok bye
• Benedict stealing el away from the gentleman version of chucky
• You know, the gossipy quality of the ton is a great way to give viewers background info
• Fake tears always work
• Phili and finch will make beautiful cheese babies
• LD: anthony is a perfect suitor Edwina: dibs Kate: goddamn it
• Anthony’s smile when he sees kate again 😍
• I want to reach through the tv and smoosh their faces together right now. This annoying adorable banter is too much “You find my smile pleasing?”
• LD and violet like shall we do it again this year? pick another perfect match together?
• Pen is an excellent business woman. 10 pounds for 1 LW edition? Thats more than a thousand bucks in todays money. Girliepop is a girl boss. A true she-e-o
• Aw regency chucky has a crush on eloise
• I sympathize with kate. I am also dreadful and unpleasant
• Benedict trying to get it in with madame delacroix again
• Anthony can dish it out but sure cant take it
• Lower those expectations and settle for someone - violet
• Pen writing to colin. THREE MORE DAYSSS
• LD dressing kate down like girl. I opened my home to you. You really gonna stand here and lie to my face
• Love that kate comes clean and LD is like okay good now that thats out in the open lets get this girl hitched. I can scheme too
• Agan kate in blue here is so beautiful
• I love QCs laugh
• I would rather die! Well well how the turntables
• Pen: i have managed to find joy in this whole spectacle Eloise: WOW so you hate feminism
• LD really looked at kate like watch this and then got edwina diamond-ed
• Edwina: i love a man who knows what he wants and is direct Anthony: doesn’t know what he wants and sniffs kate
• LW: suddenly writing feminist rhetoric Eloise: wow what coincidence i was JUST talking to penelope about this
• I love that QCs wigs have natural textured hair in them

okay good night! thanks for reading

I hate to ask for things but my mother and I had to move to Lethbridge with our 3 small dogs on emergency short notice due to abuse and are now living in our car as we don't have any money since we're both unemployed and disabled. We discovered we could move our stuff into the front at night so we could sleep properly (horizontally) in the back, however it is extremely painful (I have bruises on my ribs and Hips from how hard the folded seats are) and we don't have enough blankets so we are cold at night. We have tried local shelters but we dont fit their criteria, especially with our dogs. I'm adding a list of chores/jobs i could do and things we could use, if anybody has these items and are willing to part with them for free or for the completion of a task or chore, please comment or message me!
Suggestions for jobs I can do: - mow lawns or pick up dog Poop - vacuum/sweep/dust - wash windows - walk/wash/lightly groom dogs/cats/other pets (I'm very good with animals) - wash cars - babysit (my mother ran a day care most of my life and I grew up naturally learning how to care for kids as well as babysat most of middle/high school) - Help move furniture - And more! If you have a job I didnt list, let me know and if I'm capable I will do it!
Things we need: - Air mattress or mattress topper. This is a big need for us, absolutely high priority item. We are both in a lot of pain from the hard, uncomfortable seat backs of the car, but it's still better for our disabilities than to sleep in the front seats, even reclined. - Air pump (if we recieve an air mattress) - Portable charger batteries to charge our phones when the car is off at night - camping gear, such as a tent, heater, tarp, camping stove, cooler, etc. - sleeping bags or blankets, believe it or not, it gets quite cold still at night when you don't have indoor heating haha - car chargeplugs with USB ports - sun reflectowindshield and/or window covers, to keep the sun out so we and the dogs can stay cool - 2 peoples worth of plates, mugs/cups, and cutlery. We can't keep a lot of dishes but a couple plates and cups would make eating a lot less messy, 1 dish and mug for each of us is perfect - Cash or gift cards especially for gas or dollarama (you'd be surprised what we can find there) - in exchange for helping you with a task

Some preliminary info:
My mum and I have lived in our townhouse for over 10 years. During that time, we have constructed planter boxes that are set on our driveway (we don't own a car, so we use the space for that). For many years my mother has carried out her hobby of gardening there. We received new neighbors approximately 1.5 years ago. For the longest time, they would be throwing parties that would leak over to the AMs of the next day, as well as do renovations. While being understanding, it got to a point where my mum couldn't take the noise anymore at night. After numerous attempts to contact our new neighbours to decrease the noise of their parties, she finally made a noise complaint to a city. Parties started to occur less frequently.
THEN came the REALLY noisy stuff. The majority of my neighbors' renovation was to finish the basement. It was during this time when OUR house would start to shake at times. Aside from the fact that this distracted my mum from doing her (remote) job, it drew a concern as to what could possibly be happening in their basement that would cause OUR house to shake. Again, she reached out to them numerous times, with vague answers. And again my mother filed an anonymous complaint.
Turned out, they did not have the permits for the type of construction they were doing in the basement. They got super-peeved at us, as they now were delayed and had to spend a bit more money.
Anyways, fast forward to 1.5 months ago, I'm helping mum with gardening stuff. The male neighbor (of the couple) decides to approach us. He decides to "apologize" and be the "bettebigger person". Following his apology though, he makes a complaint about one of our planter boxes, the one that borders the property line between us. He says that some of the wood pieces are falling off/poking out onto his property (fair, though my mum reckons he purposely took some of the pieces of, but that's speculation). He decides to give us an ultimatum: either move the planter box more onto our property (an inch our two, but with soil and wood, probably weighs a ton, so not happening), repair the boards, or destroy it. Otherwise he will complain to the city that the planter box is on his property. So.... he's still a LITTLE angry that we complained to the city of his actions, and wants to have something over us.
But my mum remained positive. Understanding that the outer pieces of the planter box ARE weathered (some scrap 2x4s, some decent pieces of wood), she set out to buy sheets of new plywood that would be weather-proofed, and would replace those pieces after I took them out and drilled the sheets in.
This evening we were measuring the dimensions of the planter box to figure out what lengths I would need to cut the plywood. To make one of these measurements, we had to step into our neighbors' driveway. He saw what we were doing, and asked us to get of his property. We explained what we were doing, to which he responded "unless YOU have a permit to do this, the only thing you can do is destroy it, otherwise I'll be filing my own complaints" (not verbatim, but that was the gist of it). My mum and him at a little tiff, but I got the last of the measurements for us to then leave his driveway.
I am not a confrontational person; I'm not good at aggression. But I do not like the fact that I have this intimidating dude trying to scare my old mum and threatening her to destroy something she's worked years on. Furthermore, I have the following contentions:

• The planter box on the property line border was there WAY before the new neighbors bought the place. To me, the fact that they bought it at all should also be an okay/acknowledgement of the placement of the box on the property line; unless something happened to it that ACTUALLY affects them (eg breaks and soil spills over), they shouldn't (?) have a problem.
  
• We reached out multiple times to them, trying to be civil; if they responded in kind, reassuring us in some fashion, I believe we wouldn't be in this mess, especially if you're doing things you ought to get a permit for. I get taking a few shortcuts here and there, but not a good idea trying to do so if you can't be cautious
  
• I looked at City of Toronto's website (https://www.toronto.ca/services-payments/building-construction/apply-for-a-building-permit/when-do-i-need-a-building-permit/), while it DEFINITELY says one is required when finishing a basement (so we were right to complain), don't think I see one particular about changing out wood for a planter box (which I am not considering an addition to the house, as a line of pots would basically be the same thing)
  
• I am borderline worried he'll try to go out of his way to get my mum in trouble
  
• How else are we gonna replace the old wood with new if we aren't on their property a little? We're specifically doing it because they don't want any of the old stuff breaking off into their driveway (potentially damaging their capop a tire, according to them) in the future. It's gotta make sense!
  
• I think he was "trying to be nice/bigger person", but he just wants to make as sad for making him spend more money and time by making us destroy our own stuff. So much for self-improvement on his part I guess.
  

Anyways, I think we'll try our best to fix up the box as efficiently as we can. We won't be covert about it, but to avoid the neighbors yelling at us again, not gonna loudly advertise it. Just drill out screws, take pieces out, and drill in a big sheet. But does anyone want to chime in on what rights I have if this guy calls the cops on us or makes a scene? Again, we're doing this at HIS request, and he's making it difficult to do. Or if you believe there is bias on my part, feel free to point it out! Free to answer questions as well. Hope I was able to get my points across. Any law stuff would help also!

Hello.
I (33f)have the CPTSD Ive known about it since a 2012 and have struggled since then to get treatment other than ssris. I recently had a mental health flare up and have finally found a therapist that I like. I lot of this have been coming up in therapy where my therapist thinks I should be kinder to myself or stand up for myself. I’m not sure because I’ve been trying to do so but it’s not seeming to work.
My husband works for himself/ works from home/ teaching himself to run a business for the past year. We live in hcol I work full time and pay for our health benefits, (he has an office in the apartment and we still split rent 50/50 (when he has the money to) and pay for all household goods and groceries (unless he is working and he will pay for half) I do most of the large purchases, car, insurance vacations, electricity and water and cell phones and he has the internet. He had liked to live month to month while trying to work as little as possible. I enjoy being with him when he has time for his own pursuits and he doesn’t like 9-5 life so I’m very happy with him not working as much as I do.
The thing is, is that he has been telling me that I don’t do enough, or that he doesn’t ask anything of me, or that I don’t spend enough quality time with him. He doesn’t like that I spend time after work reading or listening to audio books, scrolling Reddit or watching Tv. He says that he wants to see me being productive. He talks about how I need to have more productive hobbies. Like instead of reading, writing, or if I’m reading, blogging or reviewing it. He wants me to go on walks. He says I’d be less depressed if I did more things. He calls the time I spend in the evening mindlessly scrolling and said today that all the time I spend on my phone I could be spending with him. My screen time average is 2.5 hours/day. I’m pretty sure he thinks I’m just wasting my whole life away, it makes me think that he thinks very low of me.
This past year he wanted to start having dinner together at the dinning room table every night. (Like we are “supposed to” It’s been hard for me to rally for them. We would fight because I have a hard time eating without relaxing first and I would be so keyd up after a long shift he would get upset that I wasn’t appreciative. It took a lot of conversation to get him to understand that I need that wind down time before I can face dinner and conversation and real life again. I hurt my back and was unable to sit at the table so he has been understanding about sitting at the couch. After dinner and watching a show together he gets upset if I get on my phone when he goes in his office to work. He wants me to spend the time more productively. On my phone I read and listen to audiobooks. I read 5-6 books a month usually. Sometimes more if they are short stories. Idk how to explain to him that I like reading and it helps me relax. I suggested we read the 5 love languages book and he bought it which made me so happy, after he read it he said he excelled in all the love languages and that it was me who didn’t know how to speak his love language. What am I supposed to say to that?
He does most of the daily household chores ie dishes and laundry. I’ve told him in the past that if he paid for part of the electricity and the health insurance I could afford to get a cleaner. When I was in school and working part time I kept a better house but it’s a lot harder now because my job is stressful and mentally exhausting. I thought the cleaner would solve the issue. He doesn’t think we need one but gets upset that I can’t keep up with half of the duties. Dispite the fact he is home 24/7 and I’m only home in the evenings. Sometimes I work up to 14 hour days. Also, some days I need to be in bed. I give a lot to my job and I thought to was worth it to keep our lifestyle going weather he is actively working or not but now I’m hearing that the only thing I contribute is money and that it doesn’t count because he is going to pay me back.
It’s still hard for me though because I always have to make sure I have the money because I never know if he will be able to contribute or not. I don’t really want to work a bunch either. I am also just a work enough to survive kinda person.
The biggest issue I have is that I don’t think he respects me. Because how could you have such a low opinion of someone you respect? Why does he keep saying that I don’t do anything or that he doesn’t ask anything of me. How can he love someone who doesn’t do anything? He says that he is just trying to better me but I’m okay with myself. I’m not perfect but I’m not bad.
It’s true, I’m depressed and love to get cozy in the couch for hours at a time while listening to an audiobook and scrolling Reddit . I do clean on weekends that I don’t also work. I do the dishes twice a week and vacuum and clean the toilet every weekend. I do the litter box every other month. (It’s the crystal that get changed monthly) I buy the cat food and we split feeding them unless I’m working. I don’t do the dishes daily though(I get depressed with the endless daily tasks) I offered to buy a dishwasher because I had no problem doing that daily but he didn’t want me to spend money on it. I prefer to do larger weekly tasks because it’s hard for me to have the energy daily. I don’t like to cook after work so I’ll order us dinner or pick groceries that are quick meals. This is not what he considers healthy though and prefers to cook us healthy meals.
To me this relationship is me finding compromises and him finding reasons why I’m not doing things right. I am trying my best but I just feel like it’s never enough.
Am I crazy for being hurt by his attitude towards me despite him saying it’s to better me? Is my depression and laziness after work making me a bad partner or is my partner not being understanding of my needs?