Unblock my crap.com

I am not The OOP, OOP posted from 2 accounts: u/Potential_Let_3651 & u/No-Fishing-4775
AITAH for telling my parents to keep all the money they stole from me while I was in university and shove it up their ass.
Originally posted to AITAH
TRIGGER WARNING: financial exploitation, manipulation
Original Post - rareddit Apr 25, 2024
I got a job while I was in high school. It was with a friend of my father. I put away most of it and just bought myself some stuff I wanted but my parents wouldn't buy for me. My parents aren't rich but they do well enough. They wanted me to appreciate that material goods were paid for with my time. I didn't mind. I bought myself a PS4 and some games.
Which they made me share with my younger brother and sister. Once again I didn't mind. I mostly played while they did homework or slept. When I graduated from high school they said I had to start paying rent. That sucked because I was going to university in the fall and I was hoping to save up over the summer so I could work less during the school year. So I worked my ass off in school and at work. I ended up getting a job loading delivery trucks before school.
And that sucked because I went to sleep at 7 pm most nights so I could get up early and go to work. I am about to graduate and I found a job in another province. I have already started doing my onboarding and online training. I will go from graduation to loading my car to leave. My parents had a graduation party for me where they tried to present me with a cheque for all the rent I paid plus a pittance in interest. I looked at the cheque for about a minute and I started laughing. All I could think of was the fact that I had no social life during university.
Because I was working. I didn't have any money in investments like my friends did. Because they were taking my money. I asked them how they were doing this for my sister. They said they weren't since she wasn't working while she went to school. I tire up the cheque and told them to shove it up their asses. I told them that when they compensated me for all the sleep I lost, four years of no social life during university and four summer vacations, I would speak to them again. I told my little brother not to get a job or they would fuck him over too. I went to my room, grabbed my computer, some clothes, my PS4, and my toiletries.
My brother and sister can play on the PS5 my parents bought the family. They were yelling at me the whole time. I said if they touched me or tried to stop me I would call the cops. I loaded up my car, that I paid for, I insure, and is registered to me. I drove to my friend's parent's house and had a bit of a breakdown. They let me stay there since she is away at university in another city. I blocked my parents and my brother and sister. I had already given notice at my job so I called my boss and told him I was sick and would not be available for my last week.
He said he understood and laughed. He said he was surprised I had kept working this close to graduation. My grandfather called me to talk a couple of days later. We went to Timmies and he let me unload everything I felt. They took money from me that I could have used to make my life better. I didn't even have time for a girlfriend. My entire university romantic life was hooking up with a woman I work with when her ex husband had the kids for the weekend.
He said my parent's hearts were in the right place and that they thought they were helping me. I said they owed me four years of fun. Of parties I was too tired to go to. Of social events and networking I didn't do. All the shit they were subsidizing for my sister. And that they would end up subsidizing for my brother. He said he understood and hugged me.
He is old but I couldn't have gotten free of that hug if I tried. He asked me if I needed money to start my new job. I said I did not want anything that came from my parents. He gave me a cashier's cheque for about three times what my parents took from me. He said to use it however I wanted in my new life. He said it wasn't part of my inheritance or anything. It was a gift from him and something my grandma would have wanted me to have.
My friends think I was stupid to tear up the cheque. Most of them agree with me about being pissed at my parents. Some family have called me to say I behaved terribly and that I owe my parents an apology. I thank them for the call or message and block them. I'm calmer now and I do not think I am in the wrong. But maybe I'm too close to see what I'm missing. AITAH
RELEVANT COMMENTS
Sebscreen

NTA. They saw that the lifestyle they forced on you was killing you for years and did nothing. And they waited to do it at a party they hosted so they could get full credit as great parents too.
The fact that they never intend to pull this crap on your sister reeks of bias.

OOP

They would probably try if she was stupid enough to get a job

~
Tiger_Dense

NTA. How much were you paying in rent? I could understand a pittance, like $300.
We have never taken money from our children. Son is living at home currently and working full time, making over $70,000. But he doesn’t pay to live here and we buy all food. I would rather he save money for a house.

OOP

$750 a month

Orgasml

You ripped up a check that was close to $40000?

OOP

A little over.

OOP on why he never moved out

Dorms were more expensive. And I live in the city where my university is so I would not have gotten in. I could have moved out if I got a full time job and dropped out. I chose my path.

Update Apr 28, 2024
Not sure why but my other throwaway got deleted.
I took a lot of what you guys had to say to heart. I unblocked my family and spoke with my parents.
I agreed to meet with them for lunch today. We went to The Keg and talked. They said they didn't realize how I felt for those four years. My mom cried and said she was very sorry that I felt like they didn't care about me. I guess they read my post from before it got taken down and they are disturbed by what I wrote. They are also upset that my "girlfriend" is a single mom 14 years older than me. They asked if they could meet her and I said no.
They offered me the cheque again and this time I took it and thanked them. I said I would come home later.
After lunch I went to the bank and deposited it. Since we all bank at the same branch it was easy to cash it. I made sure that the money was in my account.
Then I blocked them again.
I just wrote my "girlfriend" a cheque for $4,312 to help her out. It was the interest on the money more or less. She is a decent person and she taught me a lot. She works her ass off loading trucks and she deserves something good in her life. I know that isn't me.
I am seeing my grandfather tomorrow. I am going to make sure he knows what I did and why. I am also going to invite him out to see my new place once I move our West.
I'm spending the weekend at my "girlfriend's" house since her ex has the kids.
Thank you all for your help and advice.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
Telvani

What was the reason for giving your girl friend the money and what was her reaction to it?

OOP

I felt like doing something nice with money that my parents would hate. She was very appreciative of the money and tried not to accept it. I said my next choice for that money would be Pierre Poilievre and she accepted it just to keep it away from him.

EDITOR'S NOTE: Pierre Poilievre is the head of the Conservative Party in Canada
THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP
DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

Here is my list:
Mileena/Stryker: A good alternative to her most common kamero (scorpion) you can get nearly 50% (no bar) and while attempting to do those combos they end up blocking said 50% combo at the start then you are still plus on block as you have done ball into strykers grenades. This is the combo i am referring to https://www.reddit.com/MortalKombat/comments/1bt3ejc/there_is_something_comical_to_me_seeing_stryke
Mileena/Sektor: Again, also a good alternative to using scorpion as you can get the same amount of combo damage for no bar whilst having a similar benefit to stryker with regards to making yourself plus on block. https://www.reddit.com/MortalKombatGameplay/comments/1bsaxc9/got_sick_of_the_generic_mileenascorpion_pick_so_i/
Quan Chi/Janet: Quan Chi by himself is not known for having high combo damage. However if you do want to go for high combo damage, most people go either cyrax, sektor or scorpion. However the flaw for cryrax's is his big damage comes exlusively off his 12 string which is a high starter. For Sektor he requires a lot of setup to get his combos. And as with regards to scorpion's damage, whilst he gives quan chi good damage off all his good strings (12, 13 and B342) janet cage can get even more damage off the same strings using the same resource. Janet even allows quan chi to get 40% no bar off his low starter, which is pretty good. https://www.reddit.com/MortalKombatGameplay/s/O2hkTcTvCd
Rain/Sonya: Ever since rains buff. I have seen a lot of people use cyrax as this is one of the very few cases where you can combo into his net (in Rain's case you can do B3 into net). However the highest damage I have seen so far with Rain is with Sonya as similarly to what peacemaker can do, there is so much cancel advantage on B3 that you can charge sonya's enery rings enough to continue the combo after it. And due to the fast kameo recharge you can always get at least two sonya energy rings and a sonya square wave in a single combo. Examples are here: https://www.reddit.com/MortalKombat/comments/1c72tly/sonya_has_become_one_of_the_better_kameo_options/
https://www.reddit.com/MortalKombat/comments/1c80edp/rain_is_absolutely_cracked_now_42_combo_no_ba
Reptile/Motaro: Picking motaro gives reptile some nice plus frames on block (+13 assuming your opponents dont abuse the gap) and its actually gives you a reason to use acid spit (the non projectile one) as you can use motaro's teleport to combo after his spit, giving you at least a 40% combo for no bar.
https://www.reddit.com/MortalKombat/comments/1c5fep0/hopefully_reptiles_new_acid_projectile_move/
Scorpion/Darrius: As most people already know, scorpion is considered low tier and that is primarily due to his lack of options to open up his opponent (he does not have any special cancellable overheads or lows and his mid is very stubby). His only way to open up the opponent is to whiff punish off his standing 2 (which even that can be unreliable). Darrius gives you another way to open up the opponent and initiate combos, and that is through throws. Darrius gives scorpion nearly 30% damage off a single throw which is actually really good for a throw since throw combos scale a lot and throws are unblockable. Additionally, it actually can be a viable playstyle to reserve darrius kameo exclusively for throws as scorpion can already get a crap ton of damage without any kameo's (assuming he succeeds on the whiff punishing). https://www.reddit.com/MortalKombatGameplay/comments/1c34hrj/scorpion_throw_kombo/
Nitara/Kung Lao: I dont have a video of this (yet). But Kung lao gives nitara even more combo options as you can use his teleport allows nitara to combo off her blood spit. This means if you manage to hit any of her strings on the opponent, you can hit confirm into blood spit then teleport to continue the combo (and later continue it into her standard air combos). Additionally this now gives you good combo damage off her low starter (as you can special cancel the first hit of b4 into acid spit then do teleport to continue the combo from there), meaning nitara has good damage off both her overhead and her low, giving her some high reward mix ups options.

Here is my list:
Mileena/Stryker: A good alternative to her most common kamero (scorpion) you can get nearly 50% (no bar) and while attempting to do those combos they end up blocking said 50% combo at the start then you are still plus on block as you have done ball into strykers grenades. This is the combo i am referring to https://www.reddit.com/MortalKombat/comments/1bt3ejc/there_is_something_comical_to_me_seeing_stryke
Mileena/Sektor: Again, also a good alternative to using scorpion as you can get the same amount of combo damage for no bar whilst having a similar benefit to stryker with regards to making yourself plus on block. https://www.reddit.com/MortalKombatGameplay/comments/1bsaxc9/got_sick_of_the_generic_mileenascorpion_pick_so_i/
Quan Chi/Janet: Quan Chi by himself is not known for having high combo damage. However if you do want to go for high combo damage, most people go either cyrax, sektor or scorpion. However the flaw for cryrax's is his big damage comes exlusively off his 12 string which is a high starter. For Sektor he requires a lot of setup to get his combos. And as with regards to scorpion's damage, whilst he gives quan chi good damage off all his good strings (12, 13 and B342) janet cage can get even more damage off the same strings using the same resource. Janet even allows quan chi to get 40% no bar off his low starter, which is pretty good. https://www.reddit.com/MortalKombatGameplay/s/O2hkTcTvCd
Rain/Sonya: Ever since rains buff. I have seen a lot of people use cyrax as this is one of the very few cases where you can combo into his net (in Rain's case you can do B3 into net). However the highest damage I have seen so far with Rain is with Sonya as similarly to what peacemaker can do, there is so much cancel advantage on B3 that you can charge sonya's enery rings enough to continue the combo after it. And due to the fast kameo recharge you can always get at least two sonya energy rings and a sonya square wave in a single combo. Examples are here: https://www.reddit.com/MortalKombat/comments/1c72tly/sonya_has_become_one_of_the_better_kameo_options/
https://www.reddit.com/MortalKombat/comments/1c80edp/rain_is_absolutely_cracked_now_42_combo_no_ba
Reptile/Motaro: Picking motaro gives reptile some nice plus frames on block (+13 assuming your opponents dont abuse the gap) and its actually gives you a reason to use acid spit (the non projectile one) as you can use motaro's teleport to combo after his spit, giving you at least a 40% combo for no bar.
https://www.reddit.com/MortalKombat/comments/1c5fep0/hopefully_reptiles_new_acid_projectile_move/
Scorpion/Darrius: As most people already know, scorpion is considered low tier and that is primarily due to his lack of options to open up his opponent (he does not have any special cancellable overheads or lows and his mid is very stubby). His only way to open up the opponent is to whiff punish off his standing 2 (which even that can be unreliable). Darrius gives you another way to open up the opponent and initiate combos, and that is through throws. Darrius gives scorpion nearly 30% damage off a single throw which is actually really good for a throw since throw combos scale a lot and throws are unblockable. Additionally, it actually can be a viable playstyle to reserve darrius kameo exclusively for throws as scorpion can already get a crap ton of damage without any kameo's (assuming he succeeds on the whiff punishing). https://www.reddit.com/MortalKombatGameplay/comments/1c34hrj/scorpion_throw_kombo/
Nitara/Kung Lao: I dont have a video of this (yet). But Kung lao gives nitara even more combo options as you can use his teleport allows nitara to combo off her blood spit. This means if you manage to hit any of her strings on the opponent, you can hit confirm into blood spit then teleport to continue the combo (and later continue it into her standard air combos). Additionally this now gives you good combo damage off her low starter (as you can special cancel the first hit of b4 into acid spit then do teleport to continue the combo from there), meaning nitara has good damage off both her overhead and her low, giving her some high reward mix ups options.

I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/BraveExplanation2530 posting in AITAH
Ongoing as per OOP
1 update - Medium
Original - 9th April 2024
Update - 13th April 2024
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AITA for disowning my wife's daughter after she chose her moms affair partner over me.
​
I 35M met my now soon to be ex Wife 33F during Uni 12 years ago.
she already had kid when she was 19 but the dad left as soon as she started uni.
We were dating for 3 months before I met her daughter Lisa. I remember seeing her family for the first time. I was nervous meeting her parents but when I saw a little girl beside her Mom i was confused. I asked her if that was her little sister or a cousin of hers and her answer shocked me. When she told me that that's her daughter I thought i misheard her or something. At first I wanted to dump her for hiding something so crucial from me but she kept on begging for me to stay and eventually I relented and soon enough I started to fall in love with her daughter and wanted to be her father figure.
Our bond grew stronger over the years and in early 2019 (before the pandemic hit) we got married, in late 2021 I adopted Lisa and In early 2022 my wife gave birth to our son Marc. After my son was born my wife made the choice to stay at home for the time being and I was completely fine with that.
Everything was going perfectly until a few months ago. I started noticing my wife increasingly spending time with her "friends". At the time, I didn't say anything since, in my mind, being at home all day probably meant eating at her, and i didn't want to seem controlling. The thing that made me suspicious was her constant texting and going out of the room for calls. She never did that for anyone besides this one "friend" of hers. I asked her about it but she gave me some vague answers about gossip.
The moment that took it too far though, was when I came home last week and saw her outside talking on the phone, this wasn't out of the ordinary. I remember seeing my son on the floor crying alone. I was pissed at my Wife for just leaving him alone in the house but when I went to pick him up and smelt the horrible stench coming from him, I was beyond furious. His diaper seemed like it hadn't been changed since that morning. I quickly changed his diaper and rushed outside with him in my arms. I was beyond pissed. I snatched her phone from her hand and bolted back inside. I locked my wife outside to have a talk with this friend of hers alone.
I had my suspicions about who it really was and when I heard a male voice calling out her name and asking who was there. I immediately knew what was going on. He ended the call as soon as he heard my voice. I then proceeded to lock the front door to make sure my wife couldn't enter the house at all and proceeded to screenshot as much of their chat as I could and then sent them to myself before deleting them on her phone.
About 5 minutes later, she was still banging on the glass door leading to the backyard. I reluctantly opened it and was met with a smack in the face. (Remember all of this is happening while I'm holding my toddler in my arms). As soon as she realized what she just did she apologized profusely, started crying and tried to hug me. I pushed her away and told her to meet me at the dining table. I told my "daughter" to quickly take care of the baby so me and her mom could have a quick chat.
I just kept it simple. I told her this was her only chance to even have a sliver of chance of getting me back. If she fucked up this talk it was over on the spot, no lies nothing. She kept on trying to apologize and to say it wasn't that serious. I reminded her that she not only fucked me over, she could also have easily done serious harm to our son by leaving him alone in the house like that. I then simply asked who?, for how long? and did they fuck?
She replied with her Ex Boss Daniel, 6 Months and she didn't answer the last one so I kept on reminding her that this was her last chance. She then just simply nodded. I then asked her If they used protection. To this she started crying and started begging me for forgiveness. She said she would block him then and there, would never contact him again, I could fuck any woman I want from now on yada yada.
I guess Lisa heard the commotion and came downstairs. I told her to go back up but she just walked to my wife and asked her if I knew about Daniel. Up to this point I was calm but upon hearing this , I swear even I started tearing up. I asked Lisa if she knew all along and she said yes. At this point I'm full on crying and I asked her why she didn't tell me.
She responded with "Because unlike YOU, Daniel buys me the thigs I want without having to beg." I then asked her how she could possibly do this to her dad. She responded with the you're not my real dad crap. My Wife screamed at her upon hearing what she said. At that point I couldn't bear any of this anymore. I just grabbed my son and got into the car.
Me and my son are currently staying at my parents house. I've basically been drinking myself to sleep everyday. Thanks to the saint of a mother i have, my son is being taken care of right now. Im beyond hurt. Ive cancelled my ex daughters private school tuitions, all her extracurricular activities and I've contacted a divorce Lawyer.
He´s going to serve my wife this Friday. My wife and Lisa have been blowing up my phone non stop with apologies. I simply responded with "Get a lawyer and tell that ungrateful thing of yours to start calling Daniel her dad. Im disowning her" and then I blocked my wife. I didn't respond to Lisa, I just simply blocked her. I guess my wife told our friends, what her and Lisa did and now they have been texting me nonstop.
They understand how im feel but believe im going too far by divorcing my wife without hearing her out. They also keep telling me that disowning Lisa is definitely going too far and she's only a Kid and didnt understand what she was doing. I just cant get over the things she told me.
I've worked my ass off to give my wife and daughter luxuries, I could have only dreamed off as a kid and this is how I get paid back? Lisa (13 years old) is old enough to understand that hiding her moms affair is bad and definitely purposely used those words to hurt me. But a part of me believes that there is still hope. A few family counseling sessions later and we can go back to living the Life I once considered a fairytale.
Im beyond destroyed by this whole situation. A part of me just wants to see them burn in hell but the other part of me believes there is still hope.
Am I really going too far? Is there still hope?
AITA for disowning my daughter and divorcing my Wife?
​
Comments
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AdEconomy1977
NTA stop drinking bro it only makes the thoughts worse

OOP: Im writing this drunk. But thank you. I know i need to stop at some point.

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KurosakiOnepiece
Bruh she left a toddler in the house alone in a soiled diaper for who knows how long so she can talk to her affair partner ..
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amlodipine424
Make sure the part about the toddler left alone in the house is taken down by the lawyer
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generate_a_name
And being slapping in the face while holding the toddler
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**Judgement - NTA*\*
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Update - 4 days later
​
First off al I just want to thank you guys for the support you guys have shown me. This past week has been the hardest period of my life. Seeing the love you shared with the woman you considered your partner for life just vanish, hit me worse than anything else.
To those who have privately messaged me. Thank you and please be patient with me. I have over a hundred unread messages to date and will need a bit of time to respond to all of them.
I just want to update you on the things that have happened since i posted.
First of all Im happy to report that ive quit the alcohol. It was tough but seeing how my life was basically falling apart due to my constant drinking, really was a wake up call for me. As someone kindly suggested, I asked my mom to throw out all the alcohol in her house. The first couple of days were tough with me being more depressed than ever but im doing much better now.
As for my wife. Ive had a brief conversation with her and I have halted all divorce proceedings for the time being. There is still a lot to navigate and a ton of logistics involved and my decision for divorce seemed a bit in the heat of the moment. Im not saying that im going back to her, im just saying I need to reevaluate everything again. What she did was beyond hurtful and irresponsible. If I were to get back with her, she has to do a lot to make up for this mess. I have removed half of the money in our joint account and have stopped paying the Lease on my "Wife's" car.
I asked her the following questions:
Has she been in contact with Daniel since our falling out?

• She said she has completely cut off contact with her ex Boss and is willing to do anything to make our marriage work.

Why did she go to him/meet him in the first place?

• She said, she honestly doesn't know. She met him at a get together her old company held and in her words they just "clicked". They started hanging out as friends and soon things grew out of hand and she started bringing him over to the house when I was at work.

Did she have feelings for him while they worked together?

• She said she found him cute but left it at that. They never did anything or said anything outside of work.

I then started asking her questions about our daughter Lisa. Some of you guys rightly pointed out that she probably poisoned her against me.
Why did she bring Daniel around our daughter.

• Lisa once caught them making out on the couch and when she threatened them to tell me they quickly shut her up with gifts and a new phone etc. And soon enough Lisa started actually started to like having Daniel around because of the gifts etc.

Did she badmouth me to Lisa?

• To this she just she just went silent and started crying. I then pressed a bit more and she finally blurted out that she started telling Lisa that Daniel was her bio dad.

Ngl after this I myself started crying and just hung up. I did see a change in my daughter around the same time but I just chalked it up to her being a teenager but hearing this just broke my heart even more.
I also want to thank you guys for telling me that it wasn't right to put all the blame on my 13 year old daughter. I wasn't thinking straight at the same and when I started sobering up I did sort of realize the mistake I made.
I have unblocked my daughter and have been texting with her since yesterday. She has apologized to me and it seems like my wife (in desperation to get me back) has confessed the truth to my daughter. My daughter told me that she has stopped talking with her mother since she confessed. I apologized to her for the comments I made about disowning her and we have planned to meet up tomorrow at the local park.
I again just want to sincerely thank you guys for the support and the advice. Honestly I couldn't have navigated this mess alone while being intoxicated. Only god knows what would happened If i didn't reach out. I also want to apologize for the drunken rant I went on in the comments. Im beyond embarred at the things i said.
Again thank you all for the support and wish you all a wonderful weekend😊
​
Edit:
I forgot to mention the DNA Test ting on my son. I do definitely acknowledge it being a possibility but neither am I mentally in a place to be able to cope with the stress of something like that nor am I ready to face the reality that I might look at him differently if the test turns out negative. Ill do it eventually but not now during this mess.
​
Comments
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Imaginary-Yak-6487
Don’t get back with her. She’s cheated, lied to both you & your daughter, used daughter against you. She’s only sorry she got caught. Best of luck.
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mostlydocile2
exactly. wow. she didn't even care she would be messing with her daughters life by lying about her fling being her daughter's dad. that does not sound like a woman who has any integrity. i get your being so heartbroken at this time, and considering getting back with your wife, but i don't believe you will have much peace in your future in trusting her. she sounds contrite and full of apologies now, but her affair was going on for a long time and the fact that her phone calls were more important to her than her baby laying in a dirty diaper and possibly being in harms way. she sounds like she is just wanting to keep on with her old life and eventually once she feels safe, she will start to look around for another partner. i don't think you can trust a spouse who cheats. good luck.
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sweetIceTea_
Thanks for the update but op don’t be naive or a fool. There’s no coming back from this and you know it. Even if you took her back (which is a dumb decision) you will never trust her again. Same goes for your daughter. The fact that she didn’t tell you about her having a kid all those years ago should have been a red flag. Do yourself and your own sanity a favor and divorce her. You will find better and you deserve better.

OOP: Of course but I need a bit more time to understand the financial and parental side to divorce. I just need a bit more time to understand the big picture of everything.

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I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP.
Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments

I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/Scared-Weakness-6250 posting in AmItheAsshole, AITAH and his user account
Concluded(maybe) as per OOP
Part 2 Here
8 updates - Long
If you read the story on the old site and don't want to read it again, you can skip to Part2 and the last update in March 2024
Original - 22nd July 2023
Update1 - 17th August 2023
Update2 - 26th August 2023
Update3 - 12th September 2023
Update4 - 17th October 2023
​
AITA for jumping out of the way when my niece and nephew tried to push me into a pool, resulting in them falling in?
​
Happened today.
My folks decided to host a barbeque because I guess that's what older people do. I declined because I really don't like my two sisters, their husbands or their kids (wife and I are child free). Mom then pressured the wife. Long story short, we went.
By the time we arrived there were about 20 people there. My sisters and their husbands were already solidly buzzed. Drunk really. My mom was spending 100% of her time trying to keep the nieces & nephews (ages 7 to 11) more or less under control. My dad had strategically retreated to the whirlpool part of the pool with small cooler full of beers. Wife and I made small talk with miscellaneous people, ate food and had a frozen margarita. Sisters/BILs took turns criticizing us for being late, not being in our swimsuits and screwing up the vibe. Whatever. Typical suburban summer get together.
About 45 minutes in two of the kids ran at one of the neighbor guests who was standing next to the pool and pushed her in. She was at the pool steps, stumbled in but didn't fall so only got half wet. She was clearly very unhappy about it but she didn't make a scene, just went over to where the parents were, grabbed their towels, dried herself off and left. Sisters and BILs thought it was all great fun.
A bit later I was standing a few feet away from the pool chatting away with someone. I saw three of the kids running full tilt at me from the corner of my eye. Obviously I was next. Not that it's terribly difficult to outwit young kids but I just jumped out of their way at the last second. All three of them ran straight into the pool at full speed. Most of the other guests (including my wife and me) started laughing but their moms - who as I mentioned were pretty shitfaced - absolutely freaked out. Apparently two of the kids couldn't swim even though they were in swimsuits. Since I wasn't in swim gear I stepped back from the pool and let other people fish the kids out. The kids were bawling their heads off like they'd lost a limb.
At that point all hell broke loose. The four drunk parents were yelling at everyone in general and me in particular for "nearly letting their kids drown" and also because two of the kids had been videoing the trick using their parents' iPhones, which were now at the bottom of the pool. One of my BILs got into the pool to try to retrieve the phones but his BMI and BAC made that impossible. No one else volunteered to help, unsurprising given that my sisters were still bitching at everyone.
I told my sisters it was their job to watch the their kids and that if anything had happened to them it would have been their responsibility not mine. There were some pretty strong words on both sides. Wife and I left after the other BIL fell over and face planted while yelling at us. Now they're saying I should have let the little shits knock me into the pool and have their fun (and ruin my phone). So... AITA?
Side note: Dad, of course, never got out of the whirlpool.
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Comments
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Pokemom-No-More
NTA. The kids FAFO. IF the parents' phones got ruined in the process, that's on them for not controlling their little hellions. I can see why you avoid family get togethers. Hopefully, next time, your wife won't allow herself to be guilted into making you go.

OOP: That's probably the one positive thing that will come out of this. Wife is much more tolerant and forgiving than I am towards my siblings but based on what she was saying on the way home I think she's had it with them as well.

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Update1 - 1 month later
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First off, my folks tell me that my nieces and nephews are all good swimmers and that they use the pool all the time. The 7 year old is still a beginner but he loves the water. My sister just said they couldn't swim so I'd look bad. To be fair none of the kids are allowed in the deep end which is where they fell in. It was the two 10 year olds and the 9 year old who tried to push me into the pool.
After we left the party ended on a pretty sour note. My drunk brother in law who face planted while yelling at me had to go to an urgent care place and get his face stitched up. He was too toasted to drive so Dad took him. Dad was very not happy about this.
Late that evening my sisters started a group text and said some really nasty crap. Their husbands threw in a few comments as well. Wife and I blocked the four of them. My mom called me, she was pretty upset about what they said (she and dad were in the chat) and I don't blame her.
Because of the texts my folks insisted my sisters / BILs come over the next day (Sunday) without their kids to "get some things straight and lay down some ground rules" (mom's wording). The result was a contrite if unenthusiastic apology from the siblings via my mom's phone. I'm glad my wife was with me when they called - her hard stares kept me from saying what I wanted to. I just told them thanks and that we felt no need to discuss it further.
Since I thought things were settled I unblocked them. That evening I got a text from one of the BILs telling me the phones cost $XXXX and asking when I'd be paying for them. WTF??? I replied "Never", took a screenshot of his text and forwarded it to my folks with a note that we were done with this nonsense, were going no contact with sisters / spouses and not to invite us to any more holidays or get togethers if they'll be present. Then I blocked the sisters and their spouses again.
At that point the shit really hit the fan. Dad called them and ripped them a new one. Among other things he told them the grandkids were not welcome at his place indefinitely. Since my mom regularly provides free babysitting that got them pretty rattled. He also banned them from using the vacation house and told them my wife and I actually own it, not he and mom. This completely freaked them out - both of my sisters' / families use the place a lot including having their friends up for weekend getaways. This was very much out of character for my folks. They'd clearly had it. And for reference, I never wanted my sisters to know we own the place. We bought it for my folks, they'd always wanted a place in the mountains. Keeping the ownership quiet was just a way to avoid drama with my siblings.
A couple of days later my sisters and their husbands came to our place unannounced to apologize in person. We were were out to dinner and they left a note. One sister also called me at work too, I sent her to voicemail. We've decided being no contact is the best thing for the indefinite future and haven't interacted with them for the last 3+ weeks. Personally I'm done, they can go pound sand.
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Comments
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RndmIntrntStranger
they’re just really sorry now bc their free babysitting is gone and you own the cabin.
MattDaveys
“We’re sorry” “Now tell mom and dad we apologized so they’ll take the kids again.”
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Update 2 - 9 days later
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Well, it's been an interesting last few days. I thought the shit had hit the fan before but it was more of a fart compared to what's happened this week.
For this to make sense I need to provide some financial context. My folks haven't ever been any good at saving money (I've been doing their taxes for years so I know pretty much everything about them moneywise). Their house is paid for and they have minimal debt but they didn't save much for retirement. Both of them get Social Security, dad gets a solid pension and they have a bit of savings but there's no treasure chest in the basement.
I bought their current car for them after they retired a retirement present so they could have something nice to drive; it was the first car in probably 20 years they didn't lease. My sisters are convinced the folks are dripping with money and that our parents will be leaving the two of them everything since I don't need more money, so they've never cared about saving either.
Turns out my oldest sister and her husband (they have three kids) have been living beyond their means for some time and are in financial straits. They've maxxed out their credit cards and are behind on their car leases to the point that one is about to get repossessed. He'd bragged in the past about making X per year but it turns out to be about half that. She confessed all this to mom on Tuesday because they need a loan and because (and this was a WTF moment for mom and dad) that for the last three years instead of staying at the vacation house regularly she's actually been renting it out once a month or so and pocketing the cash - we're talking $2000+ for a weekend and at least $4000 for a week. With her being cut off from using the place she's had to cancel one group already. She's now worried they'll lose everything. My folks aren't in any position to give them a loan.
My other sister was aware of her renting out the place but of course hasn't ever said anything. I suspect she's done the same thing as well because I went up there once to drop off an ATV I'd had worked on and there was a family there who claimed to be staying there with my sister / her family and that they'd "gone to town for something". At the time I let it go - I figured she'd loaned out the house to some friends. But I've always wondered.
I found all this out through my folks who are pretty stressed out about it, mom more than dad, he's mainly just pissed off about it all. I know dad feels betrayed. And I imagine he's embarrassed that he's in no position to help his daughter out. He did reiterate that as long as it's up to him the girls won't be using the vacation home anytime soon.
My folks let me know what's going on because they figured my sisters would put a full court press on me next. And they were right. On Thursday my sisters came to our place again (without husbands this time) and waited outside the door until I got home. I had to choose between fighting with them in public, them making a scene if I went in without them or letting them in so I let them in. I got a bullshit story from the older sister with the younger one backing her up regarding why I needed to let them use the mountain place again immediately.
They also said I've been a shitty brother and that I needed to "step up" and plan on paying for their kids' college tuitions since "that's what family does". I let them pitch their story then called them out based on what my folks had told me. Things went to shit from there. There was denial, crying, cursing, yelling, you name it. I swear my ears are still ringing two days later. Won't lie - I said some really mean and shitty things to them but nothing that wasn't true. They finally left after about an hour.
After that I took a shower and laid down. When I got up my wife was home and her first words were that she'd had to block more phone numbers because my sisters were blowing up our phones from new ones. Folks messaged me yesterday asking me to call. I'm sure my sisters have told them some bullshit version of what happened but I'm not up to rehashing it yet.
I'm usually a pretty energetic person but this drama has me beaten down. I had just enough energy today to drive up to the vacation house and padlock the entrance gate shut. I'm the only one with a key. I'm guessing that will be enough to ensure my siblings leave the place alone, they'd probably die trying to walk 400 yards uphill to get to the house.
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Update 3 - 3 weeks later
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Yet another update regarding the cluster f that is my extended family. Thought it might be time given what's gone on over the past two weeks.
After my sisters came to my place my mom and dad told me they were done with managing the vacation home. Sounded like the sisters had been pressuring them to let them use the place again. Basically my folks handed the responsibility for place over to me and told me it was my problem from here on out. Up until then they'd kept track of who would be using it when and they'd taken care of routine maintenance, replacing worn out items, etc.
In any case they decided they didn't want to be in the middle of all this crap. While I don't blame them I'm disappointed because the damn place was supposed to be something for them to enjoy and hang out in and they use it regularly. Plus I've never cared that they let my sisters and their families use it, because really I've always thought that was my parents' call even though I technically own it. But now my folks are going to be in the position of not having access without me being involved and that changes the whole dynamic of the place.
I've taken several steps to secure the place. I already mentioned that I locked the gate, it has a heavy duty chain and the best lock I could find. I also did a full reset on all the door keypads and created all new codes. Security cameras got installed yesterday, which is actually pretty cool because the installer convinced me to put a high res one that looks out over the valley. The system cost me way more than I thought it would but the peace of mind is worth it. The installer also put up signs on the property saying the place was monitored by video.
I also installed a heavy duty lockout for the water shutoff / drain valve. I hope to hell I don't lose the keys for it because if I do it's going to be a bear to try to remove. Haven't told anyone but my wife that the water is locked off and again, only we have the keys.
Last week I got separate calls at my office from both of the husbands trying to convince me to let them use the house "like they always have". The older one had gone up with some friends for a guy's hangout but couldn't get in because of the gate lock. He was pretty pissed and embarrassed about being locked out, I'm sure he would have broken the lock if he could have. During his call he kept bouncing between pushy and victimhood.
At one point he threatened to "rip that gate outta the goddamn ground". He also admitted they'd been renting it out to "a few friends", that they needed the money, I was ruining their "business" and that I should refund their guests' money (Me?? F that). I should have recorded the conversation with him but I don't know how to do that from an office phone anyway. The other BIL just sounded like he was being made to call by my sister, he didn't really put up a fight when I told him not to plan on ever using the place again. In any case I told them they can't use the place and not to ask again.
At this point I'm considering selling the vacation home. Wife and I won't use it enough to justify keeping it and it's not like there's going to be any family get togethers there anytime soon. I mentioned selling it to my folks, their response was pretty much "whatever". I'd more than double my money by selling it, the place consists of three lots with killer views and is at the end of a private road. But I'll probably wait for a while to sell, doing so now would be an emotional decision.
My sisters and I aren't currently speaking and I have no plans to initiate contact. I don't know what the status between them and my folks is and I don't want to.
On the upside, we spent an evening with my folks last week, went to a new restaurant that was nice. No one brought up any of this crap. Mom did update us on the nieces and nephews, she's spending time with them at their homes.
Sorry this update isn't full of laughs or owns, that's just life sometimes.
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Comments
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Negative-Bottle-776
Thank you so much for the update. I'll advise you to check with your adviser if renting your property would be worth while, after all this improvements, a conscious minded renter might give you a good buck for month, or year rental. Selling now as you said, may not be in your best interest. About your pushy bil, I'll ask my lawyer to draft a letter of intent to sue for the profits from the rentals. Also include a change of misuse and any property loss or destroyed. Maybe do it for both. This will stop any further attempts, as they seem very entitled to your property and money. Good luck! Update us if you can or need more ideas.

OOP:I agree that my sisters and their families are very entitled. They're also in an extremely weak position in all of this.
The place is a bit remote to rent as a long term home. Plus there are times during the winter the road is impassable, so staying there year round is pretty iffy. There are a couple of permanent residents on the road who are at a lower elevation and relatively close to the year round public road but even they have to hunker down or bug out a few times each winter.
Regarding making it a vacation rental: doing so would be seen by my sisters as rubbing salt in the wound and would give them a reason to create more drama. And honestly we don't need the money. The place is paid for, it's in great shape, it doesn't cost much to keep the lights on, etc.
I did think about lawyering up and covering them with paper. It wouldn't even cost me much, a good friend is a property law attorney. But again, doing so would escalate things and give them reason to create family drama.
My primary goal at this point is to minimize my involvement with them and minimize any nonsense that causes my parents stress. I'm willing to take some short term flak and absorb some expenses like the camera system to keep things contained. It could blow up again but I suppose I'll drive off that bridge when I come to it.
I don't think we'll sell right away if at all, it's more of a last resort / personal fantasy thought than anything else. There's a good chance that come holiday season my folks will reset and want to have the entire family there. Which is fine, we won't be going of course but I don't care if my parents have guests there. I intend to keep control of the place for the indefinite future though, which will be inconvenient at times because I'll be the only person with a gate key. But I can live with that.

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Update 4 - 1 month later
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I hired a guy to manage / look over the vacation home. He lives in the area, takes care of his folks and manages a good number of properties, some are vacation rentals, some are weekend places like ours. He has access to my camera feeds and does a physical check on the place every week or two. I think he may have the best job in the mountains, he gets paid to drive around with his dog, walk around the properties and hangs out on people's decks whenever he feels like it. He also has a camera feed from a house near the start of the private road that takes still shots whenever a vehicle goes past it. $450 per month plus he'll do basic maintenance and repairs on an hourly basis. He's friends with all of the sheriff's deputies too. Got a lot of peace of mind from doing this. And he sends photos from his walks to everyone once or twice a week.
I have to brag a bit on my parents (I got all this from them tonight at dinner). They were getting pressure from my sisters to demand that I open up the vacation house to everyone for Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving up there had become quite the tradition for the family (not for me or my wife, we've gone once in seven years). My dad refused to bother me about it because he knew I'd say no.
They came up with what I think is a great plan, announced that they were organizing the Thanksgiving gathering and - if everyone split the cost in advance - they'd rent an Airbnb in the mountains. Otherwise they'd host Thanksgiving at their place or one of the sisters could host it. This caused a fight between the sisters because the middle sister was all for doing the Airbnb but the oldest one doesn't have any money. The deadline to commit to the Airbnb has passed, looks like Thanksgiving will be at my parents' place. Regardless, we won't be there.
My parents have asked that we not sell the place for now, they decided they'd still like to use it occasionally but not until my sisters have come to terms with the new normal. And of course they'd probably like it if everyone could get together there again down the road, but that's just not going to happen. I'd just as soon sell it and move on at this point but I can live with keeping it if my folks do use it now and again. Plus it will be worth even more down the road.
Wife and I have stayed no contact with my sisters and their husbands. Both sisters have called from new numbers (F you Google Voice) and left messages insisting that I meet with them "for our parents' sake" to work out how everyone can use "the family vacation home". They called my wife too. I'm glad I was already in the habit of not answering calls if I don't recognize the number. I honestly don't know if they're delusional or if they think they can bully me into giving them access again. Don't really care.
My parents tell me that the oldest sister and her husband are getting out of the leases for their SUV and big ass truck and are selling their jet skis and some other shit they've never needed. That's going to be really hard on her, she's quite the braggart and won't like being seen in something older / smaller / cheaper. My BIL's identity is very much wrapped up with his truck as well, he even has a small tattoo of the truck company's logo. Which frankly is one of the many reasons why he and I never hung out.
Several people have suggested I make the vacation home into an Airbnb. I don't plan to do so, at least anytime soon. I know it would make money but it would cause an incredible amount of drama across the family and would stress out my parents. They don't need that. It would also be a hassle to remove personal things my folks have there, that stuff has nowhere to go. And there would be wear and tear on the place. And I'm sure it would take some amount of time on my part even though I'd use a manager to do it. Just not worth it to me.
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Comments
Thanks for the update OP. I find it quite hilarious that your Sisters still can’t handle the fact that it’s YOUR vacation home. That they went as far as to dub it “ the family vacation home”, and use you parents again for sympathy. They need to learn humility.

OOP:Yep, that line killed me. And they both used it in separate voicemails. They're trying hard to find any crack in my armor, kind of curious as to what they'll try next. Which will probably happen soon because another tradition is to meet up there right after Christmas for a few days. Sometimes for several days including New Years.
I'm pretty pleased that my dad has been firm with them on all of this. I've rarely seen him be that way, his nature is gregarious, friendly, good at getting people to cooperate, that sort of thing. He's also told me that he likes not feeling responsible for the place any more.

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Part 2 Here
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I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP.

So I run a Mono-Blue voltron deck with [[Thassa, God of the Sea]] in the command zone. The deck performs really well pretty consistently, suiting up Thassa, making her unblock-able, and turning her sideways. However more than a few times I have found myself able to generate a literal crap-ton of blue mana due to high devotion to blue and [[Nykthos, Shrine to Nyx]], a bunch of islands, [[Throne of Eldraine]], [[Nyx Lotus]], etc. with nothing to be able to sink all that mana into. I run a copy of [[Soothsaying]] so being able to essentially stack my library is handy, but I'm looking for something more aggressive to be able to do with it. I will post an updated moxfield link later this evening when I get home, as it needs updated, but heres the link as it was a few weeks ago. Any and all suggestions would be greatly appreciated! Thanks!
https://www.moxfield.com/decks/nzHNs-mL1kiF48NdYdOexg

I am NOT OP. Original post from AITAH by u/Estimate-Kind.
Trigger Warnings: Infidelity, Sex under the influence of Alcholol, betrayal
https://www.reddit.com/AITAH/comments/1aicb51/aita_for_sleeping_with_my_sisters_husband/
1st Post: AITA for sleeping with my sisters husband. 04/02/2024
I (29F) find myself in a complicated and difficult situation that has strained my relationship with my sister (31F). I recently slept with her husband, and now she refuses to speak to me. However, I genuinely believe that I am not solely to blame for the fallout, and I need an impartial judgment on whether I am the asshole in this scenario.
Prior to the incident, I noticed some questionable behavior from my brother-in-law (33M) towards me. Feeling concerned about my sister's well-being, I decided to address the issue with her. However, she dismissed my concerns, leaving me unsure of how to proceed.
My sister works as a flight attendant and is gone more then she is at home. My BIL recently lost his job and was feeling depressed. During one of her frequent absences from home, she asked me to keep her husband company. She trusted me and didn't believe the warnings that I gave her before about his behavior towards me, but I saw this as an opportunity to support their marriage and help them rebuild their connection. Unfortunately, as we spent more time together, our bond deepened, and we eventually crossed a line that should never have been crossed.
We had both been drinking and he was complaining to me about the troubles in their marriage and how he hasn't been for a while. He was crying and I decided to comfort him. One thing lead to another and we did the unthinkable. I woke up realizing the nature of what I did and immediately realized the nature of what had happened. We'd both were so intoxicated that we stupidly ended up falling alseep. I awoke to my sister screaming and hitting the both of us screaming "how could you do this to me? We're sisters I trusted you?". She wouldn't even give me a chance to explain and kicked me out of the house.
Now, my sister refuses to speak to me. She has filed for divorce. Our parents are siding with her saying that I violated every family moral. However, I believe that there are multiple factors at play here, and I am not the only one responsible for the breakdown of their marriage. While I acknowledge my mistake, I also question why my sister failed to address the issues in her relationship and why she left her husband in my care without setting clear boundaries.
I do feel a sense of guilt and remorse for my actions, but I also recognize that my sister and her husband had their fair share of problems. It's unfair to place all the blame on me when there were underlying issues that existed long before our involvement
That being said I understand my sister's anger and hurt. I am willing to accept responsibility for my actions and make amends, but I also believe that it is crucial for her to acknowledge her role in this situation. Rebuilding trust and repairing our relationship will require open and honest communication from both parties.
In sharing my story, I hope for an unbiased judgment and guidance on how to navigate this difficult situation. AITA for sleeping with my sister's husband?
EDIT: Screenshots of my last conversation with her before she blocked me on my profile.
UPDATE (on the same post but was also made into a separate post later that same day 04/04/24 Update 1):
https://www.reddit.com/AITAH/comments/1ait7r2/update_1_aita_for_sleeping_with_my_sisters_husband/
Okay guys I get it. You guys have ripped me apart in the comments and yeah I admit I messed up. After deeply reflecting on my actions and seeking advice from others, I have come to realize the extent of the hurt and damage I caused to my sister. I genuinely regret my behavior and am now fully aware that I was in the wrong. There's no excuse for what I did and I think I was trying to excuse my actions because the thought of it all ways too painful.
Last night after reading comments, I mustered up the courage to reach out and apologize to my sister. Unfortunately, despite my sincere efforts, she has not only refused to speak to me but has also blocked me from all forms of communication.
The fact that my sister has taken such measures is deeply upsetting to me. I yearn for her forgiveness and genuinely want her back in my life. However, I understand that I cannot force her to reconcile or forgive me on my terms. I have sought advice from friends and family on how to navigate this situation, but it seems like the best course of action for now is to respect her boundaries and give her the space she clearly needs.
I have continued to reflect on my actions and have sought therapy to address the underlying issues that led to my hurtful behavior. I found some online and plan on calling soon to get started up to help figure out the root for my behavior. I am committed to personal growth and becoming a better person, regardless of whether or not my sister chooses to reconnect with me in which I will never give up trying.
I have also reached out to mutual friends and family members, hoping they might act as intermediaries or offer support in bridging the gap between us. However, I understand that they too must respect my sister's boundaries and not get involved in our personal dispute. My ex BIL has refused to pick up any of my phone calls through all of this. I heard from my mother that he told her I initiated the entire thing and got him drunk then forced myself onto him which is the furthest thing from the truth. I can't believe he'd through me under the bus after I was there for him for so long. Guess I really looked like the fool huh?
The pain of not being able to communicate with my sister is devastating, but I am determined to learn from my mistakes and make amends in any way possible. I will continue to work on myself and strive to become someone who deserves her forgiveness, even if it takes a significant amount of time. To say the past few months has been insane is an understatement. I feel like my entire world has caved in.
While I hold onto hope that one day my sister will be willing to reopen the lines of communication, I also acknowledge the possibility that she may never want to speak to me again. Regardless, I will continue to grow, learn, and reflect on my actions, knowing that healing and reconciliation are processes that cannot be rushed or forced. I hope my sister sees my remorse and my effort to grow. I will update if anything further happens.
Some interesting comments:
u/Medical_Collar_2678 says:
Your logic is their relationship was already failing so your sister should take responsibility. Let me ask you a question using your own logic.
Let's say your car is older and needs some work done. If I come up and steal your car GTA style, and I total it. Would you be at fault for the crash cause the car was already "failing" or would it be me because I'm the one that took it and couldn't control the car and crashed?
See how dumb that sounds? If it was failing, then your job was to help your sister get through this and guide her towards counseling or a divorce. Instead you guided your way into his pants. I think its more to the story and the more to the story is you had feelings for the BIL for a while and this "drunk" behavior made you act on it. You give off golden child energy in which you've rarely been held accountable.
Oh, and if my comment wasn't clear enough, YTA!!
OOP: I understand what you're saying. It makes sense.
Calm_Froyo_475: This has to be a troll post rage bait
OOP: How am I baiting? Do you need to see screenshots between my sister and I? I feel bad yes! My point I shouldn't be completely at fault here. I'm not trying to be a victim.
https://www.reddit.com/useEstimate-Kind/comments/1aidcls/images_of_text_messages_with_my_siste
- Screenshots of a text conversation with OOP's sister
test messages:
OOP: Lindsay, I am extremely sorry. I haven't been able to eat, sleep or function since this has all happened. Regardless of you believing its been ongoing its only happened ONCE!
I take full responsibility for my part, I should have distanced from him when he was making advances before, I should have pressed it more, I shouldn't have given in. I was intoxicated I wouldn't have done it sober.
I take responsibility for it I just feel that responsibility needs to be taken that it was already failing. You should have left him a long time ago or even believe me when I tried to tell you.
OOP's sister: Are you kidding me? You're always the victim Kelly ALWAYS!
You can never take responsibility for YOUR actions
I swear you could hit someone with a car walking on a damm side walk and you'd still argue it was their fault too for not moving
You betrayed me. You're right I stupidly didn't believe you because I was in denial about my marriage. But I never thought that you would do this to me EVER!
I helped RAISE YOU! i was there for you whenever you needed me. I forgave you for the upbringing we had with you always being the favorite.
You can not handle the fact the mom and dad are siding with me for once
I never want to see you again. You are no longer my sister
OP: I AM SORRY! I never meant to hurt you. I am not trying to play the victim at all I take responsibility. But why am I getting the MOST heat here? He's just as at fault.
All I am saying is that you should've left him or been actively trying to fix the relationship or it wouldn't have gotten this far.
But that still does NOT excuse my behaviour. I am the worst. I just don't understand why I get the most heat.
OOP's sister: BECAUSE YOU ARE MY SISTER.
MEN COME AND GO
I am not going back and forth. Have a good life being the ***** that you are
Final Update (05/02/2024):
https://www.reddit.com/AITAH/comments/1ajtu7l/final_update_aita_for_sleeping_with_my_sisters/
Wow you guys are ruthless. I fully see that I was in the wrong and my behavior is inexcusable. I do not deserve to have her as a sister and I am literally a piece of crap. There's not a single insult you guys can give me, that I haven't given myself.
Suprisingly, my sister unblocked me, expressing her desire for closure and personal healing. It seems that she has reached a point where she needs to address the past in order to move forward, but she has made it clear that she doesn't wish to continue our relationship.
We had an open and honest discussion about the pain and hurt that had accumulated over time. It was an emotional and challenging conversation, but one that allowed us to express our feelings and seek some form of closure.
During our conversation, my sister made it clear that she has made the difficult decision to no longer have a relationship with me. She explained that she needs to focus on her own healing and well-being, and believes that maintaining a relationship with me would hinder that process. It was a heartbreaking realization for me to accept, but I understand and respect her choice.
In our conversation, I took the opportunity to sincerely apologize for any pain I have caused her. I acknowledged my past mistakes and expressed deep regret for my actions. While I had hoped for a different outcome, I understand that my sister's healing journey is her own to navigate, and it may not involve me.
Moving forward, I will continue to reflect on the lessons learned from this experience. I have come to understand the impact of my actions and the importance of personal growth and self-reflection. It is crucial for me to learn from this and strive to become a better person, even if it means accepting that my sister wants no further relationship with me.
While it is painful to accept the loss of a close bond, I will honor my sister's wishes and give her the space she needs to heal and move forward. I will continue to work on myself, seeking personal growth and understanding, and ensuring that I do not repeat the mistakes of the past.
This experience has taught me the importance of empathy, forgiveness, and respecting the boundaries of others. I am grateful for the opportunity to have had this conversation with my sister, as it has allowed me to gain a deeper understanding of the consequences of my actions and the importance of growth and healing in relationships. This will likely be my last update as there's nothing more to say. I lost my sister and the respect of the people closest to me. But through all of that she is the victim, not me. I deserve this.

• Reminder I am not the Original Poster

Update to this post: https://www.reddit.com/AITAH/comments/1akhqjt/aitah_for_not_wanting_to_raise_my_nb_daughters/
Hi,
This is an update to this post (Long story short my 18 year old NB daughter wanted me to raise her baby, and she told me she thinks the baby as her sibling. We had a blow-out, she locked herself in her room for most of a day, and then took off with her friends/her lover)
So this happened a few days ago but I didn’t update because I needed to get my head around it. It still doesn’t make sense.
Daughter finally unblocked me. She and the person who got her pregnant wanted to talk to me at a public place. We chose iHop.
Although I suspected I knew who her lover was, I was disappointed to find out because they have been a part of my daughter’s friend group since high school and was the only one I ever had a problem with and kicked out of my house.
They are trans now but two years ago the friend group was watching a movie in the livingroom, and every time I’d pass by he (he was a he then) would lock eyes with me and make really obnoxious, loud, orgasm sounds like that scene in Harry Met Sally. I told him to knock it off and grew sterner when he did it again.
Then when I was in the kitchen he somehow snuck up behind me and was miming jack-off movements with his hand. I turned around and caught him at it. He was still fully clothed, but it was startling and freaky. I kicked him out.
So now I’ll just call them Sperm-doner because that’s what they are.
I’m still calling my daughter ‘my daughter’ and ‘she’ because I still haven’t been told not to by her otherwise. So get off my case on that.
Anyway, the iHop meeting was a shit-show. Sperm-doner sat with my daughter and went on the attack. Sperm-doner’s points were.
1) I was poisoning my daughter by “making” her take birth control. (I only helped her get the prescription and would have done everything I could if I knew she didn’t want to take the pill. There are other methods!) 2) It will take years to “fix” my daughter after all I did. (Not giving her hormones even though I had no idea that was what she wanted. She dropped even wanting to change her pronouns after a few weeks.) 3) Abortion is a sin and I am a monster for suggesting it. It’s past the date anyway. 4) I am further abusing her by not taking care of the baby while she fixes herself. (I guess they meant it as a temp situation which was also new to me.)
So apparently even though I’m an abusive monster, a bad mother, and so on, I’m even worse for not taking in their baby. At least no one suggested that I raise it like my daughter’s sister anymore. That might have been my daughter’s thought on it.
Sperm-doner did most of the talking while my daughter just sat and glared at me, nodding along.
It was kind of a whirl wind, Sperm-doner pounded the table a few times, and even the waiter knew not to bother us after drinks. lol. I’m surprised we weren’t asked to leave.
There was a lot said, mostly by the Sperm-doner who really seemed to be steering the ship. I asked why Sperm-doner couldn’t take care of the baby and Sperm-doner said his parents were even worse than me. I guess my daughter and Sperm-doner taking care of the child they created is out of the question.
I told them that I would not be raising their baby for them and that adoption is the best bet. They said that if I don’t agree to raise it, they’ll make sure I’ll never see the baby ever.
I won’t raise their child for them. So that’s that, I guess.
I feel so many flavors of worried and angry and then worried all over again. I’ve been around the block and it’s never a great sign when the person you’re with makes an enemy of your family. That’s what Sperm-doner has done by painting me as an abuser and failed mother who also won’t take in their baby. Sounds like Sperm-doner has cut themselves off from their own family too. So I’m worried my daughter is in a very controlling relationship with someone who convinced her to stop birth control because they think hormones are too feminizing somehow and that she needs to be “fixed”. But they still want me to raise their baby.
I’m angry that my daughter can just hear this crap and nod along like: Yeah that makes total sense. She is not stupid. I think she’s love blinded.
I’m sad and worried for the baby. A couple commenters suggested I wanted nothing to do with the baby because I wouldn’t agree to raise it as my own. No, in a perfect world, I would want a normal grandmotherly relationship. Or at least know that the child is safe and has been adopted into a loving family.
I don’t care what my daughter does with her gender, or her body as long as she doesn’t hurt herself. I want her to be in a happy relationship with someone who values her for who she is. Sperm-doner kept using the word ‘fix’ which I see as another terrible sign.
It’s bad all around. My house is empty. It feels like my adult daughter has run off to join up with some weird church/cult thing who tells her that up is down. That not using birth control and not getting an abortion and then expecting others to take care of the child is all a-okay. Oh and that she’s a problem and needs to be “fixed”.
I texted her and said I would be there for her, but Sperm-doner was still not welcome in the house. I think I’m blocked again.
She’s a legal adult. I’m not sure what else I can do at this point? In my low points, part of me thinks maybe I should agree to take the baby and then immediately make sure it’s adopted into a loving home. But I get the feeling that Sperm-doner won’t make that easy, and right now my daughter does what he says. Also I’m not sure if that plan is even possible. It sounds Hollywood.
I have an appointment to speak with a councilor, but the soonest I could get is April. Some of my friends think I should take the baby in either to get them away from the parents or because they think it’s my duty, or both.
The only silver lining in this was that they both seemed sober. I don’t think there’s drugs involved.
Am I reading this wrong? Am I the asshole here?

Update to this post: https://www.reddit.com/AITAH/comments/1akhqjt/aitah_for_not_wanting_to_raise_my_nb_daughters/
Hi,
This is an update to this post (Long story short my 18 year old NB daughter wanted me to raise her baby, and she told me she thinks the baby as her sibling. We had a blow-out, she locked herself in her room for most of a day, and then took off with her friends/her lover)
So this happened a few days ago but I didn’t update because I needed to get my head around it. It still doesn’t make sense.
Daughter finally unblocked me. She and the person who got her pregnant wanted to talk to me at a public place. We chose iHop.
Although I suspected I knew who her lover was, I was disappointed to find out because they have been a part of my daughter’s friend group since high school and was the only one I ever had a problem with and kicked out of my house.
They are trans now but two years ago the friend group was watching a movie in the livingroom, and every time I’d pass by he (he was a he then) would lock eyes with me and make really obnoxious, loud, orgasm sounds like that scene in Harry Met Sally. I told him to knock it off and grew sterner when he did it again.
Then when I was in the kitchen he somehow snuck up behind me and was miming jack-off movements with his hand. I turned around and caught him at it. He was still fully clothed, but it was startling and freaky. I kicked him out.
So now I’ll just call them Sperm-doner because that’s what they are.
I’m still calling my daughter ‘my daughter’ and ‘she’ because I still haven’t been told not to by her otherwise. So get off my case on that.
Anyway, the iHop meeting was a shit-show. Sperm-doner sat with my daughter and went on the attack. Sperm-doner’s points were.
1) I was poisoning my daughter by “making” her take birth control. (I only helped her get the prescription and would have done everything I could if I knew she didn’t want to take the pill. There are other methods!) 2) It will take years to “fix” my daughter after all I did. (Not giving her hormones even though I had no idea that was what she wanted. She dropped even wanting to change her pronouns after a few weeks.) 3) Abortion is a sin and I am a monster for suggesting it. It’s past the date anyway. 4) I am further abusing her by not taking care of the baby while she fixes herself. (I guess they meant it as a temp situation which was also new to me.)
So apparently even though I’m an abusive monster, a bad mother, and so on, I’m even worse for not taking in their baby. At least no one suggested that I raise it like my daughter’s sister anymore. That might have been my daughter’s thought on it.
Sperm-doner did most of the talking while my daughter just sat and glared at me, nodding along.
It was kind of a whirl wind, Sperm-doner pounded the table a few times, and even the waiter knew not to bother us after drinks. lol. I’m surprised we weren’t asked to leave.
There was a lot said, mostly by the Sperm-doner who really seemed to be steering the ship. I asked why Sperm-doner couldn’t take care of the baby and Sperm-doner said his parents were even worse than me. I guess my daughter and Sperm-doner taking care of the child they created is out of the question.
I told them that I would not be raising their baby for them and that adoption is the best bet. They said that if I don’t agree to raise it, they’ll make sure I’ll never see the baby ever.
I won’t raise their child for them. So that’s that, I guess.
I feel so many flavors of worried and angry and then worried all over again. I’ve been around the block and it’s never a great sign when the person you’re with makes an enemy of your family. That’s what Sperm-doner has done by painting me as an abuser and failed mother who also won’t take in their baby. Sounds like Sperm-doner has cut themselves off from their own family too. So I’m worried my daughter is in a very controlling relationship with someone who convinced her to stop birth control because they think hormones are too feminizing somehow and that she needs to be “fixed”. But they still want me to raise their baby.
I’m angry that my daughter can just hear this crap and nod along like: Yeah that makes total sense. She is not stupid. I think she’s love blinded.
I’m sad and worried for the baby. A couple commenters suggested I wanted nothing to do with the baby because I wouldn’t agree to raise it as my own. No, in a perfect world, I would want a normal grandmotherly relationship. Or at least know that the child is safe and has been adopted into a loving family.
I don’t care what my daughter does with her gender, or her body as long as she doesn’t hurt herself. I want her to be in a happy relationship with someone who values her for who she is. Sperm-doner kept using the word ‘fix’ which I see as another terrible sign.
It’s bad all around. My house is empty. It feels like my adult daughter has run off to join up with some weird church/cult thing who tells her that up is down. That not using birth control and not getting an abortion and then expecting others to take care of the child is all a-okay. Oh and that she’s a problem and needs to be “fixed”.
I texted her and said I would be there for her, but Sperm-doner was still not welcome in the house. I think I’m blocked again.
She’s a legal adult. I’m not sure what else I can do at this point? In my low points, part of me thinks maybe I should agree to take the baby and then immediately make sure it’s adopted into a loving home. But I get the feeling that Sperm-doner won’t make that easy, and right now my daughter does what he says. Also I’m not sure if that plan is even possible. It sounds Hollywood.
I have an appointment to speak with a councilor, but the soonest I could get is April. Some of my friends think I should take the baby in either to get them away from the parents or because they think it’s my duty, or both.
The only silver lining in this was that they both seemed sober. I don’t think there’s drugs involved.
Am I reading this wrong? Am I the asshole here?

I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/Estimate-Kind posting in AITAH
Concluded as per OOP
3 updates - Long
Original - 3rd February 2024
Text Exchange - 3rd February 2024
Update2 - 4th February 2024
Final Update - 5th February 2024
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AITA For Sleeping with My Sister's Husband?
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I (29F) find myself in a complicated and difficult situation that has strained my relationship with my sister (31F). I recently slept with her husband, and now she refuses to speak to me. However, I genuinely believe that I am not solely to blame for the fallout, and I need an impartial judgment on whether I am the asshole in this scenario.
Prior to the incident, I noticed some questionable behavior from my brother-in-law (33M) towards me. Feeling concerned about my sister's well-being, I decided to address the issue with her. However, she dismissed my concerns, leaving me unsure of how to proceed.
My sister works as a flight attendant and is gone more then she is at home. My BIL recently lost his job and was feeling depressed. During one of her frequent absences from home, she asked me to keep her husband company. She trusted me and didn't believe the warnings that I gave her before about his behavior towards me, but I saw this as an opportunity to support their marriage and help them rebuild their connection. Unfortunately, as we spent more time together, our bond deepened, and we eventually crossed a line that should never have been crossed.
We had both been drinking and he was complaining to me about the troubles in their marriage and how he hasn't been for a while. He was crying and I decided to comfort him. One thing lead to another and we did the unthinkable. I woke up realizing the nature of what I did and immediately realized the nature of what had happened.
We'd both were so intoxicated that we stupidly ended up falling asleep. I awoke to my sister screaming and hitting the both of us screaming "how could you do this to me? We're sisters I trusted you?". She wouldn't even give me a chance to explain and kicked me out of the house.
Now, my sister refuses to speak to me. She has filed for divorce. Our parents are siding with her saying that I violated every family moral. However, I believe that there are multiple factors at play here, and I am not the only one responsible for the breakdown of their marriage. While I acknowledge my mistake, I also question why my sister failed to address the issues in her relationship and why she left her husband in my care without setting clear boundaries.
I do feel a sense of guilt and remorse for my actions, but I also recognize that my sister and her husband had their fair share of problems. It's unfair to place all the blame on me when there were underlying issues that existed long before our involvement
That being said I understand my sister's anger and hurt. I am willing to accept responsibility for my actions and make amends, but I also believe that it is crucial for her to acknowledge her role in this situation. Rebuilding trust and repairing our relationship will require open and honest communication from both parties.
In sharing my story, I hope for an unbiased judgment and guidance on how to navigate this difficult situation. AITA for sleeping with my sister's husband?
​
Comments
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Sheshcoco
YTA. You slept with your sister’s husband and somehow you want to blame HER for it. Worse than that you want reddit to validate your insane logic. Typical side bitch mentally. Leave your sister alone you’ve damaged her enough

OOP:But I don't deny that I take some fault here. I just feel I am not completely at fault here. Why can't she accept that the relationship was declining for a while? We were fully intoxicated and I would have never done it sober.

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InsufficientPrep
Dude, his dick has been in her. You like, committed incest by proxy WHILE being a home wrecker against your own sister. Spouses cheat, you divorce them and heal. You can't divorce your sibling. Alcohol is never an excuse. You want to distribute blame? Aight.. 90% you, 5% him, 5% her. Their relationship, even if it was toxic and going south, was not yours to fuck up worse.

OOP: I understand. But why him only 5%? He's just as guilty as I am.

mogwai-92
YOU ARE HER SISTER. HAVE YOU NO LOYALTY OR MORALS. you were supposed to be her shoulder to cry on if things actually did come to an end between them not the final nail in the coffin. I doubt you will ever get your family back after this and quite honestly it doesn't sound like you deserve to.
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Text Exchange
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Text Messages 1
Text Messages 2
Text Messages 3
Lindsay, I am extremely sorry. I haven't been able to sleep, eat or function since this has all happened. Regardless of you believing it's been ongoing it's only happened ONCE!
I take full responsibility for my part, I should've distanced from him when he was making advances before, I should've pressed it more, I shouldn't have gave in. I was intoxicated. I wouldn't have ever done it sober.
I take responsibility for it. I just feel that responsibility needs to be taken that it was already failing. You should've left him a long time ago or even believe me when I tried to tell you.
​

Are you kidding me? You're always the victim Kelly ALWAYS!
You can never take responsibility for YOUR actions.
I swear you could hit someone with a car walking on a damn sidewalk and you'd argue it was their fault too for not moving
You betrayed me. You're right I stupidly didn't believe you because I was in denial about my marriage. But I never thought you'd do this to me EVER!
I helped RAISE YOU! I was there for you whenever you needed me. I forgave you for the upbringing we had with you always being the favorite. You cannot handle the fact that mom and dad are siding with me for once.
I never wanna see you again. You are no longer my sister.

​
I AM SORRY! I never meant to hurt you. I am not trying to play victim at all I take responsibility. But why am I getting the MOST heat here? He's just at fault.
All I'm saying is you should've left him or been actively trying to fix the relationship and it wouldn't have gotten this far
But that still does NOT excuse my actions. I am the worst. I just don't understand why I get the most heat
​

BECAUSE YOU ARE MY SISTER!
MEN COME AND GO
I am not going back and forth. Have a good life being the **** that you are

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Comments
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Cute-Shine-1701
I fucking love your sister! She is awesome and I am glad she has such a straight backbone (which you are clearly lacking). And she is right! You deserve to be dead to her for good. You don't have a sister anymore and the only person you can blame for that, the only person you can thank that is you!
These messages make you an even bigger asshole than your post did and that sweetie requires some serious talent.
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Update 1 - 1 days later
​
Okay guys I get it. You guys have ripped me apart in the comments and yeah I admit I messed up. After deeply reflecting on my actions and seeking advice from others, I have come to realize the extent of the hurt and damage I caused to my sister. I genuinely regret my behavior and am now fully aware that I was in the wrong. There's no excuse for what I did and I think I was trying to excuse my actions because the thought of it all ways too painful.
Last night after reading comments, I mustered up the courage to reach out and apologize to my sister. Unfortunately, despite my sincere efforts, she has not only refused to speak to me but has also blocked me from all forms of communication.
The fact that my sister has taken such measures is deeply upsetting to me. I yearn for her forgiveness and genuinely want her back in my life. However, I understand that I cannot force her to reconcile or forgive me on my terms. I have sought advice from friends and family on how to navigate this situation, but it seems like the best course of action for now is to respect her boundaries and give her the space she clearly needs.
I have continued to reflect on my actions and have sought therapy to address the underlying issues that led to my hurtful behavior. I found some online and plan on calling soon to get started up to help figure out the root for my behavior. I am committed to personal growth and becoming a better person, regardless of whether or not my sister chooses to reconnect with me in which I will never give up trying.
I have also reached out to mutual friends and family members, hoping they might act as intermediaries or offer support in bridging the gap between us. However, I understand that they too must respect my sister's boundaries and not get involved in our personal dispute. My ex BIL has refused to pick up any of my phone calls through all of this. I heard from my mother that he told her I initiated the entire thing and got him drunk then forced myself onto him which is the furthest thing from the truth. I can't believe he'd through me under the bus after I was there for him for so long. Guess I really looked like the fool huh?
The pain of not being able to communicate with my sister is devastating, but I am determined to learn from my mistakes and make amends in any way possible. I will continue to work on myself and strive to become someone who deserves her forgiveness, even if it takes a significant amount of time. To say the past few months has been insane is an understatement. I feel like my entire world has caved in.
While I hold onto hope that one day my sister will be willing to reopen the lines of communication, I also acknowledge the possibility that she may never want to speak to me again. Regardless, I will continue to grow, learn, and reflect on my actions, knowing that healing and reconciliation are processes that cannot be rushed or forced. I hope my sister sees my remorse and my effort to grow. I will update if anything further happens.
​
Comments
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Amar_Akbar_Anthony20
Why are you suprised she has blocked you? Good for her

OOP: It's not that, It's just the fact that I can't even talk to her to fully explain. I just want at least a closure conversation.
I am trying to be a better sister by making it right.

Nerdygirl1984
You are still making this about you. Why are you so selfish? There is no making this right. Leave her alone because if you keep making this about you your sister will never want to have any contact with you as long as she lives.
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FINAL UPDATE: AITA For Sleeping with My Sister's Husband? - 1 day later
​
Wow you guys are ruthless. I fully see that I was in the wrong and my behavior is inexcusable. I do not deserve to have her as a sister and I am literally a piece of crap. There's not a single insult you guys can give me, that I haven't given myself.
Surprisingly, my sister unblocked me, expressing her desire for closure and personal healing. It seems that she has reached a point where she needs to address the past in order to move forward, but she has made it clear that she doesn't wish to continue our relationship.
We had an open and honest discussion about the pain and hurt that had accumulated over time. It was an emotional and challenging conversation, but one that allowed us to express our feelings and seek some form of closure.
During our conversation, my sister made it clear that she has made the difficult decision to no longer have a relationship with me. She explained that she needs to focus on her own healing and well-being, and believes that maintaining a relationship with me would hinder that process.
It was a heartbreaking realization for me to accept, but I understand and respect her choice. In our conversation, I took the opportunity to sincerely apologize for any pain I have caused her. I acknowledged my past mistakes and expressed deep regret for my actions. While I had hoped for a different outcome, I understand that my sister's healing journey is her own to navigate, and it may not involve me.
Moving forward, I will continue to reflect on the lessons learned from this experience. I have come to understand the impact of my actions and the importance of personal growth and self-reflection. It is crucial for me to learn from this and strive to become a better person, even if it means accepting that my sister wants no further relationship with me.
While it is painful to accept the loss of a close bond, I will honor my sister's wishes and give her the space she needs to heal and move forward. I will continue to work on myself, seeking personal growth and understanding, and ensuring that I do not repeat the mistakes of the past.
This experience has taught me the importance of empathy, forgiveness, and respecting the boundaries of others. I am grateful for the opportunity to have had this conversation with my sister, as it has allowed me to gain a deeper understanding of the consequences of my actions and the importance of growth and healing in relationships.
This will likely be my last update as there's nothing more to say. I lost my sister and the respect of the people closest to me. But through all of that she is the victim, not me. I deserve this.
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Comments
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NeuroticAttic
Aw, you long-suffering martyr. Such a brave little hero, taking on the burden of fault, even though your sister did, wait, what did she do? Oh, right, nothing wrong. Yeah, we see you. We’re fully capable of seeing straight through your attempts to manipulate. Just like your sister and everybody else in your life. Scratch that, everybody else left in your life.
May your sister go on to have an amazing life, now that all the poison has been purged from it. She deserves all the best.
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I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP.

Wow you guys are ruthless. I fully see that I was in the wrong and my behavior is inexcusable. I do not deserve to have her as a sister and I am literally a piece of crap. There's not a single insult you guys can give me, that I haven't given myself.
Suprisingly, my sister unblocked me, expressing her desire for closure and personal healing. It seems that she has reached a point where she needs to address the past in order to move forward, but she has made it clear that she doesn't wish to continue our relationship. We had an open and honest discussion about the pain and hurt that had accumulated over time. It was an emotional and challenging conversation, but one that allowed us to express our feelings and seek some form of closure.
During our conversation, my sister made it clear that she has made the difficult decision to no longer have a relationship with me. She explained that she needs to focus on her own healing and well-being, and believes that maintaining a relationship with me would hinder that process. It was a heartbreaking realization for me to accept, but I understand and respect her choice. In our conversation, I took the opportunity to sincerely apologize for any pain I have caused her. I acknowledged my past mistakes and expressed deep regret for my actions. While I had hoped for a different outcome, I understand that my sister's healing journey is her own to navigate, and it may not involve me.
Moving forward, I will continue to reflect on the lessons learned from this experience. I have come to understand the impact of my actions and the importance of personal growth and self-reflection. It is crucial for me to learn from this and strive to become a better person, even if it means accepting that my sister wants no further relationship with me.
While it is painful to accept the loss of a close bond, I will honor my sister's wishes and give her the space she needs to heal and move forward. I will continue to work on myself, seeking personal growth and understanding, and ensuring that I do not repeat the mistakes of the past.
This experience has taught me the importance of empathy, forgiveness, and respecting the boundaries of others. I am grateful for the opportunity to have had this conversation with my sister, as it has allowed me to gain a deeper understanding of the consequences of my actions and the importance of growth and healing in relationships. This will likely be my last update as there's nothing more to say. I lost my sister and the respect of the people closest to me. But through all of that she is the victim, not me. I deserve this.
Part 1: https://www.reddit.com/AITAH/comments/1aicb51/aita_for_sleeping_with_my_sisters_husband/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3
Part 2:
https://www.reddit.com/AITAH/comments/1ait7r2/update_1_aita_for_sleeping_with_my_sisters_husband/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

THIS IS AN UPDATE TO A STORY
before i start please upvote this so the team can review it. thank you and have a nice day!
so. I don't know where to start, I have a friend lets call them 'spammer'. (none of the names in the story are true)
now with my sleeping pattern going to wack recently because of multiple reasons, this one person has ruined it more, in school i was friends with spammer then they asked for my phone number, i gave it as i don't have many friends. im an introvert and despise socializing so this was great for me. i really enjoyed having this friend and decided they were the best for me,
until now i realise why i shouldn't have given my number, the day i got home i got texted. All good nothing major just some helloing and talking and passing game usernames around, but that night spammer called me at 11pm and i thought nothing of it.
I struggle to sleep so a friend to talk to would be fun... until i wasn't allowed to go off until 3am, then i had instant regret this has happened more and more often, until a few days ago when we were playing fortnite, and i had to go to sleep (or try to) because of a party i had to attend the next day. and they sent me a photo of them and some other friends in the lobby with "COME JOIN BACK YOU B" and i got spam called and spam texted with " i thought you struggle to sleep watch fnaf play this do this do that" malarky, and i really hated it,
it stopped at about 1am and i went to sleep, the next day i texted them with 'im home want to play?' and I got texted with "IDC F OFF" so i then got spammed and i've gotten to a point of rock bottom, so... what do i do? do I block? do i ignore, and would i be a jerk if i did any of them...
thanks for reading
(malarky for those who do not know is a way if saying crap)
here is an update: its been a few days and i know i posted this a few hours ago but there is more...
so again we were playing fortnite and when i went to sleep the next day i texted them to say hello and then it started... a huge fight broke out over text between us and it ended with her calling me my ex's name, (they had been friends until they found more about the situation*1) and i blocked her for an hour. then i played fortnite with my friend and she spammed him with requests to join the party, she join told me to unalive myself over and over left joined back and this repeated 2 times. i got so upset and my friend helped me he is online. so we don't fully know each other but we played with spammer a few times. and that's all for now i have blocked spammer fully and i don't intend on unblocking it for a while please upvote so the AITJ team can see this
*1: if you want to know the story about my ex click here: https://www.reddit.com/AmITheJerk/comments/16kqelz/comment/k0xlv7e/?context=3
here is another update: the day is 9th JAN 2024 and i am in. club (i have had problems with this club before (link:https://www.reddit.com/AmITheJerk/comments/188guxa/would_i_be_the_jerk_if_i_kicked_2_people_out_of/)) but this time spammer decided to join in (i did invite her before the holidays.) so she was in today, AND SHE CROSSED THE LINE! i had my blaser over my head because i was bored during it and walked around made some people laugh picked a lunch box up and moved it one seat over to sit down. and spammer runs over to me...
"YOU LEAVE MY LUNCH BOX ALONE YOU (insert f'ing dumb A b words in here)" I apologise and asked what she was on about so i say, "im sorry.. what?" "YOU HEARD ME YOU (insert b word) DONT TOUCH MY LUNCH BOX" "Oh this is your lunch box? right here" i handed it back to them but she started running at me...
she started chasing me through the hall and kicked me in the back, now i have a back that hurt and her kicking it made it worse. she kicked me and i hit my back onto a chair and fell of the chair onto the floor now the owner of the club lets call him j-WAT said that I HAD STARTED IT i got so confused that i quit my dream hobby, I love using speakers microphones ect and our school does mass )we are a catholic school) so i stood up and walked out, flipping off spammer and j-WATT, i was upset and went on with my day, in the next 24 hours ill update this post again with new news
THIS IS DAY 4: now i missed day 3 because not much happened, now here is the best day, Basically the 2 jerks from my story about the club had stuck up for me they went to j-WATT and said "j-WATT where is OP (me) should he be here he co-runs it right?" j-WATT explains "OH i kicked him out as spammer said he stole from him" they say :WHAT NO HE DIDN'T he moved it to the next chair to sit down and watch the desk and then he started kicked and tackling him!" and at this moment j-WATT had an OH CRAP moment he started running to look for me sprinting left right and centre all classes halls outside, everywhere for me...
he found me and said the following (OP IM SO SORRY I LISTEN TO SPAMMER AND 1 AND 2 TOLD ME THE TRUTH AND I'M SORRY PLEASE COME BACK SHE HAS BEEN KICKED OUT AND-" i stopped him and said "what just because you trusted their word for mine and apologise doesn't mean i'll come running back..." he responded with its alright and i'm sorry it's up to ME if I come back. after giving it thought i can see he was sorry so i joined back and there was something horribly wrong 2 had lost control of the lights and had to turn them off j-WATT fixed it and continued the lesson...
now ime form spammer decided to tell lies saying i broke her leg and i rage quitted the club and i got people to jump her, one thing to know about me is that i am not a social person, my form teacher came over because i was stressing because of the lies and rumors she was spreading AND SHE WAS RIDICULED she cried and sir apologised for the inconvenience now tomorrow (if there are any updates) i will update this post.
this is the least update of WEEK 1 I dont know if this will continue for more weeks because today was just sad, so today started of with me doing mass and spammer sits down and he is constanly giving dirty looks but nothing is said or done. then in form they make joke about my height and thats all for now like i said its pretty dry today but anyways thanks and ill update this hopefully monday if there is news :D
if you wonder why i refer to spammer as he them and she its because spammer is 'gender fluid' which means somedays they can identify as them he or she.
OKAY THIS WEEK WAS CRAZY! so it was quiet until wednesday when i met a new friend and they seemed chill and i found out they were in my form
so i hung out with them, spammer found out about this and it turns out this girl lets call her opponent, (not real name) and spammer WERE friends until (according to spammer) she was controlling like my ex and i turned around and said the following "NO SPAMMER, IF ANYTHING. YOU ARE CONTROLLING YOU'D NEVER LET ME BE, SLEEP, EAT, RELAX, OR DO ANYTHING, YOU CONSTANTLY CHANGE ALL THE CONVERSATIONS WITH STUFF WE DON'T GIVE A CRAP ABOUT, JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!!"
she started crying and then replied with "FINE EITHER I AM YOUR FRIEND OR SHE IS AND ILL FIGHT THIS WAR UNTIL ITS OVER". she said this while sobbing like a baby and now spammer and opponent are going into a war for me and opponent doesn't know a thing about this,
honestly I want opponent to win, spammer has texted and called saying stuff like, "I HEARD OPPONENT TALK ABOUT YOU, THIS IS WHY IM A BETTER FRIEND THAN HER" and here is the thing opponent would always be with me, and opponent would respond with "huh interesting. I didnt know i could duplicate" I would always crack up and laugh about this.
anyways whats your take on this? am i the jerk? is this interesting? what should I do?
anyways thanks for reading
this has sort of turned into a sad life story instead of an AITJ and i apologise in advance
also please like the post so the team can see this :D

THIS IS AN UPDATE TO A STORY
before i start please upvote this so the team can review it. thank you and have a nice day!
so. I don't know where to start, I have a friend lets call them 'spammer'. (none of the names in the story are true)
now with my sleeping pattern going to wack recently because of multiple reasons, this one person has ruined it more, in school i was friends with spammer then they asked for my phone number, i gave it as i don't have many friends. im an introvert and despise socializing so this was great for me. i really enjoyed having this friend and decided they were the best for me,
until now i realise why i shouldn't have given my number, the day i got home i got texted. All good nothing major just some helloing and talking and passing game usernames around, but that night spammer called me at 11pm and i thought nothing of it.
I struggle to sleep so a friend to talk to would be fun... until i wasn't allowed to go off until 3am, then i had instant regret this has happened more and more often, until a few days ago when we were playing fortnite, and i had to go to sleep (or try to) because of a party i had to attend the next day. and they sent me a photo of them and some other friends in the lobby with "COME JOIN BACK YOU B" and i got spam called and spam texted with " i thought you struggle to sleep watch fnaf play this do this do that" malarky, and i really hated it,
it stopped at about 1am and i went to sleep, the next day i texted them with 'im home want to play?' and I got texted with "IDC F OFF" so i then got spammed and i've gotten to a point of rock bottom, so... what do i do? do I block? do i ignore, and would i be a jerk if i did any of them...
thanks for reading
(malarky for those who do not know is a way if saying crap)
here is an update: its been a few days and i know i posted this a few hours ago but there is more...
so again we were playing fortnite and when i went to sleep the next day i texted them to say hello and then it started... a huge fight broke out over text between us and it ended with her calling me my ex's name, (they had been friends until they found more about the situation*1) and i blocked her for an hour. then i played fortnite with my friend and she spammed him with requests to join the party, she join told me to unalive myself over and over left joined back and this repeated 2 times. i got so upset and my friend helped me he is online. so we don't fully know each other but we played with spammer a few times. and that's all for now i have blocked spammer fully and i don't intend on unblocking it for a while please upvote so the AITJ team can see this
*1: if you want to know the story about my ex click here: https://www.reddit.com/AmITheJerk/comments/16kqelz/comment/k0xlv7e/?context=3
here is another update: the day is 9th JAN 2024 and i am in. club (i have had problems with this club before (link:https://www.reddit.com/AmITheJerk/comments/188guxa/would_i_be_the_jerk_if_i_kicked_2_people_out_of/)) but this time spammer decided to join in (i did invite her before the holidays.) so she was in today, AND SHE CROSSED THE LINE! i had my blaser over my head because i was bored during it and walked around made some people laugh picked a lunch box up and moved it one seat over to sit down. and spammer runs over to me...
"YOU LEAVE MY LUNCH BOX ALONE YOU (insert f'ing dumb A b words in here)" I apologise and asked what she was on about so i say, "im sorry.. what?" "YOU HEARD ME YOU (insert b word) DONT TOUCH MY LUNCH BOX" "Oh this is your lunch box? right here" i handed it back to them but she started running at me...
she started chasing me through the hall and kicked me in the back, now i have a back that hurt and her kicking it made it worse. she kicked me and i hit my back onto a chair and fell of the chair onto the floor now the owner of the club lets call him j-WAT said that I HAD STARTED IT i got so confused that i quit my dream hobby, I love using speakers microphones ect and our school does mass )we are a catholic school) so i stood up and walked out, flipping off spammer and j-WATT, i was upset and went on with my day, in the next 24 hours ill update this post again with new news
THIS IS DAY 4: now i missed day 3 because not much happened, now here is the best day, Basically the 2 jerks from my story about the club had stuck up for me they went to j-WATT and said "j-WATT where is OP (me) should he be here he co-runs it right?" j-WATT explains "OH i kicked him out as spammer said he stole from him" they say :WHAT NO HE DIDN'T he moved it to the next chair to sit down and watch the desk and then he started kicked and tackling him!" and at this moment j-WATT had an OH CRAP moment he started running to look for me sprinting left right and centre all classes halls outside, everywhere for me...
he found me and said the following (OP IM SO SORRY I LISTEN TO SPAMMER AND 1 AND 2 TOLD ME THE TRUTH AND I'M SORRY PLEASE COME BACK SHE HAS BEEN KICKED OUT AND-" i stopped him and said "what just because you trusted their word for mine and apologise doesn't mean i'll come running back..." he responded with its alright and i'm sorry it's up to ME if I come back. after giving it thought i can see he was sorry so i joined back and there was something horribly wrong 2 had lost control of the lights and had to turn them off j-WATT fixed it and continued the lesson...
now ime form spammer decided to tell lies saying i broke her leg and i rage quitted the club and i got people to jump her, one thing to know about me is that i am not a social person, my form teacher came over because i was stressing because of the lies and rumors she was spreading AND SHE WAS RIDICULED she cried and sir apologised for the inconvenience now tomorrow (if there are any updates) i will update this post.
this is the least update of WEEK 1 I dont know if this will continue for more weeks because today was just sad, so today started of with me doing mass and spammer sits down and he is constanly giving dirty looks but nothing is said or done. then in form they make joke about my height and thats all for now like i said its pretty dry today but anyways thanks and ill update this hopefully monday if there is news :D
if you wonder why i refer to spammer as he them and she its because spammer is 'gender fluid' which means somedays they can identify as them he or she.
​
OKAY THIS WEEK WAS CRAZY! so it was quiet until wednesday when i met a new friend and they seemed chill and i found out they were in my form
so i hung out with them, spammer found out about this and it turns out this girl lets call her opponent, (not real name) and spammer WERE friends until (according to spammer) she was controlling like my ex and i turned around and said the following "NO SPAMMER, IF ANYTHING. YOU ARE CONTROLLING YOU'D NEVER LET ME BE, SLEEP, EAT, RELAX, OR DO ANYTHING, YOU CONSTANTLY CHANGE ALL THE CONVERSATIONS WITH STUFF WE DON'T GIVE A CRAP ABOUT, JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!!"
she started crying and then replied with "FINE EITHER I AM YOUR FRIEND OR SHE IS AND ILL FIGHT THIS WAR UNTIL ITS OVER". she said this while sobbing like a baby and now spammer and opponent are going into a war for me and opponent doesn't know a thing about this,
honestly I want opponent to win, spammer has texted and called saying stuff like, "I HEARD OPPONENT TALK ABOUT YOU, THIS IS WHY IM A BETTER FRIEND THAN HER" and here is the thing opponent would always be with me, and opponent would respond with "huh interesting. I didnt know i could duplicate" I would always crack up and laugh about this.
​
anyways whats your take on this? am i the jerk? is this interesting? what should I do?
​
anyways thanks for reading
this has sort of turned into a sad life story instead of an AITJ and i apologise in advance
also please like the post so the team can see this :D

THIS IS AN UPDATE TO A STORY
before i start please upvote this so the team can review it. thank you and have a nice day!
so. I don't know where to start, I have a friend lets call them 'spammer'. (none of the names in the story are true)
now with my sleeping pattern going to wack recently because of multiple reasons, this one person has ruined it more, in school i was friends with spammer then they asked for my phone number, i gave it as i don't have many friends. im an introvert and despise socializing so this was great for me. i really enjoyed having this friend and decided they were the best for me,
until now i realise why i shouldn't have given my number, the day i got home i got texted. All good nothing major just some helloing and talking and passing game usernames around, but that night spammer called me at 11pm and i thought nothing of it.
I struggle to sleep so a friend to talk to would be fun... until i wasn't allowed to go off until 3am, then i had instant regret this has happened more and more often, until a few days ago when we were playing fortnite, and i had to go to sleep (or try to) because of a party i had to attend the next day. and they sent me a photo of them and some other friends in the lobby with "COME JOIN BACK YOU B" and i got spam called and spam texted with " i thought you struggle to sleep watch fnaf play this do this do that" malarky, and i really hated it,
it stopped at about 1am and i went to sleep, the next day i texted them with 'im home want to play?' and I got texted with "IDC F OFF" so i then got spammed and i've gotten to a point of rock bottom, so... what do i do? do I block? do i ignore, and would i be a jerk if i did any of them...
thanks for reading
(malarky for those who do not know is a way if saying crap)
here is an update: its been a few days and i know i posted this a few hours ago but there is more...
so again we were playing fortnite and when i went to sleep the next day i texted them to say hello and then it started... a huge fight broke out over text between us and it ended with her calling me my ex's name, (they had been friends until they found more about the situation*1) and i blocked her for an hour. then i played fortnite with my friend and she spammed him with requests to join the party, she join told me to unalive myself over and over left joined back and this repeated 2 times. i got so upset and my friend helped me he is online. so we don't fully know each other but we played with spammer a few times. and that's all for now i have blocked spammer fully and i don't intend on unblocking it for a while please upvote so the AITJ team can see this
*1: if you want to know the story about my ex click here: https://www.reddit.com/AmITheJerk/comments/16kqelz/comment/k0xlv7e/?context=3
here is another update: the day is 9th JAN 2024 and i am in. club (i have had problems with this club before (link:https://www.reddit.com/AmITheJerk/comments/188guxa/would_i_be_the_jerk_if_i_kicked_2_people_out_of/)) but this time spammer decided to join in (i did invite her before the holidays.) so she was in today, AND SHE CROSSED THE LINE! i had my blaser over my head because i was bored during it and walked around made some people laugh picked a lunch box up and moved it one seat over to sit down. and spammer runs over to me...
"YOU LEAVE MY LUNCH BOX ALONE YOU (insert f'ing dumb A b words in here)" I apologise and asked what she was on about so i say, "im sorry.. what?" "YOU HEARD ME YOU (insert b word) DONT TOUCH MY LUNCH BOX" "Oh this is your lunch box? right here" i handed it back to them but she started running at me...
she started chasing me through the hall and kicked me in the back, now i have a back that hurt and her kicking it made it worse. she kicked me and i hit my back onto a chair and fell of the chair onto the floor now the owner of the club lets call him j-WAT said that I HAD STARTED IT i got so confused that i quit my dream hobby, I love using speakers microphones ect and our school does mass )we are a catholic school) so i stood up and walked out, flipping off spammer and j-WATT, i was upset and went on with my day, in the next 24 hours ill update this post again with new news
THIS IS DAY 4: now i missed day 3 because not much happened, now here is the best day, Basically the 2 jerks from my story about the club had stuck up for me they went to j-WATT and said "j-WATT where is OP (me) should he be here he co-runs it right?" j-WATT explains "OH i kicked him out as spammer said he stole from him" they say :WHAT NO HE DIDN'T he moved it to the next chair to sit down and watch the desk and then he started kicked and tackling him!" and at this moment j-WATT had an OH CRAP moment he started running to look for me sprinting left right and centre all classes halls outside, everywhere for me...
he found me and said the following (OP IM SO SORRY I LISTEN TO SPAMMER AND 1 AND 2 TOLD ME THE TRUTH AND I'M SORRY PLEASE COME BACK SHE HAS BEEN KICKED OUT AND-" i stopped him and said "what just because you trusted their word for mine and apologise doesn't mean i'll come running back..." he responded with its alright and i'm sorry it's up to ME if I come back. after giving it thought i can see he was sorry so i joined back and there was something horribly wrong 2 had lost control of the lights and had to turn them off j-WATT fixed it and continued the lesson...
now ime form spammer decided to tell lies saying i broke her leg and i rage quitted the club and i got people to jump her, one thing to know about me is that i am not a social person, my form teacher came over because i was stressing because of the lies and rumors she was spreading AND SHE WAS RIDICULED she cried and sir apologised for the inconvenience now tomorrow (if there are any updates) i will update this post.
this is the least update of WEEK 1 I dont know if this will continue for more weeks because today was just sad, so today started of with me doing mass and spammer sits down and he is constanly giving dirty looks but nothing is said or done. then in form they make joke about my height and thats all for now like i said its pretty dry today but anyways thanks and ill update this hopefully monday if there is news :D
if you wonder why i refer to spammer as he them and she its because spammer is 'gender fluid' which means somedays they can identify as them he or she.
anyways thanks for reading
this has sort of turned into a sad life story instead of an AITJ and i apologise in advance
also please like the post so the team can see this :D

before i start please upvote this so the team can review it. thank you and have a nice day!
so. I don't know where to start, I have a friend lets call them 'spammer'. (none of the names in the story are true)
now with my sleeping pattern going to wack recently because of multiple reasons, this one person has ruined it more, in school i was friends with spammer then they asked for my phone number, i gave it as i don't have many friends. im an introvert and despise socializing so this was great for me. i really enjoyed having this friend and decided they were the best for me,
until now i realise why i shouldn't have given my number, the day i got home i got texted. All good nothing major just some helloing and talking and passing game usernames around, but that night spammer called me at 11pm and i thought nothing of it.
I struggle to sleep so a friend to talk to would be fun... until i wasn't allowed to go off until 3am, then i had instant regret this has happened more and more often, until a few days ago when we were playing fortnite, and i had to go to sleep (or try to) because of a party i had to attend the next day. and they sent me a photo of them and some other friends in the lobby with "COME JOIN BACK YOU B" and i got spam called and spam texted with " i thought you struggle to sleep watch fnaf play this do this do that" malarky, and i really hated it,
it stopped at about 1am and i went to sleep, the next day i texted them with 'im home want to play?' and I got texted with "IDC F OFF" so i then got spammed and i've gotten to a point of rock bottom, so... what do i do? do I block? do i ignore, and would i be a jerk if i did any of them...
thanks for reading
(malarky for those who do not know is a way if saying crap)
​
​
here is an update: its been a few days and i know i posted this a few hours ago but there is more...
so again we were playing fortnite and when i went to sleep the next day i texted them to say hello and then it started... a huge fight broke out over text between us and it ended with her calling me my ex's name, (they had been friends until they found more about the situation*1) and i blocked her for an hour. then i played fortnite with my friend and she spammed him with requests to join the party, she join told me to unalive myself over and over left joined back and this repeated 2 times. i got so upset and my friend helped me he is online. so we don't fully know each other but we played with spammer a few times. and that's all for now i have blocked spammer fully and i don't intend on unblocking it for a while please upvote so the AITJ team can see this
*1: if you want to know the story about my ex click here: https://www.reddit.com/AmITheJerk/comments/16kqelz/comment/k0xlv7e/?context=3
​
here is another update: the day is 9th JAN 2024 and i am in. club (i have had problems with this club before (link:https://www.reddit.com/AmITheJerk/comments/188guxa/would_i_be_the_jerk_if_i_kicked_2_people_out_of/)) but this time spammer decided to join in (i did invite her before the holidays.) so she was in today, AND SHE CROSSED THE LINE! i had my blaser over my head because i was bored during it and walked around made some people laugh picked a lunch box up and moved it one seat over to sit down. and spammer runs over to me...
"YOU LEAVE MY LUNCH BOX ALONE YOU (insert f'ing dumb A b words in here)" I apologise and asked what she was on about so i say, "im sorry.. what?" "YOU HEARD ME YOU (insert b word) DONT TOUCH MY LUNCH BOX" "Oh this is your lunch box? right here" i handed it back to them but she started running at me...
she started chasing me through the hall and kicked me in the back, now i have a back that hurt and her kicking it made it worse. she kicked me and i hit my back onto a chair and fell of the chair onto the floor now the owner of the club lets call him j-WAT said that I HAD STARTED IT i got so confused that i quit my dream hobby, I love using speakers microphones ect and our school does mass )we are a catholic school) so i stood up and walked out, flipping off spammer and j-WATT, i was upset and went on with my day, in the next 24 hours ill update this post again with new news
​
THIS IS DAY 4: now i missed day 3 because not much happened, now here is the best day, Basically the 2 jerks from my story about the club had stuck up for me they went to j-WATT and said "j-WATT where is OP (me) should he be here he co-runs it right?" j-WATT explains "OH i kicked him out as spammer said he stole from him" they say :WHAT NO HE DIDN'T he moved it to the next chair to sit down and watch the desk and then he started kicked and tackling him!" and at this moment j-WATT had an OH CRAP moment he started running to look for me sprinting left right and centre all classes halls outside, everywhere for me...
he found me and said the following (OP IM SO SORRY I LISTEN TO SPAMMER AND 1 AND 2 TOLD ME THE TRUTH AND I'M SORRY PLEASE COME BACK SHE HAS BEEN KICKED OUT AND-" i stopped him and said "what just because you trusted their word for mine and apologise doesn't mean i'll come running back..." he responded with its alright and i'm sorry it's up to ME if I come back. after giving it thought i can see he was sorry so i joined back and there was something horribly wrong 2 had lost control of the lights and had to turn them off j-WATT fixed it and continued the lesson...
now ime form spammer decided to tell lies saying i broke her leg and i rage quitted the club and i got people to jump her, one thing to know about me is that i am not a social person, my form teacher came over because i was stressing because of the lies and rumors she was spreading AND SHE WAS RIDICULED she cried and sir apologised for the inconvenience now tomorrow (if there are any updates) i will update this post.
this is the least update of WEEK 1 I dont know if this will continue for more weeks because today was just sad, so today started of with me doing mass and spammer sits down and he is constanly giving dirty looks but nothing is said or done. then in form they make joke about my height and thats all for now like i said its pretty dry today but anyways thanks and ill update this hopefully monday if there is news :D
if you wonder why i refer to spammer as he them and she its because spammer is 'gender fluid' which means somedays they can identify as them he or she.
anyways thanks for reading
this has sort of turned into a sad life story instead of an AITJ and i apologise in advance
also please like the post so the team can see this :D

And this topic is definetly going to be the most heavy on to me personally because it involves a friend. Or well somebody who I kinda thought of as a friend but I geuss they didnt see me as one. Im just gonna say their name cryingvoid, yes the mod Honestly its kinda hard to explain the whole situation but void has been. Not the kindest to me in the past. We were friends during the rplace thing and I even gave her a mod role because I thought she deserved it. And she seemed fine. She sometimes corrected me when I posted something bad but basiclly one day I was chilling and she dmed me saying that she thinks that my posts are becoming low effort and she doesnt like them, and if I dont improve them she'lll start taking my posts down. Which to me is very rude. I sadly dont have a pic of the dm on me because I have her blocked on reddit and when you block someone on reddit the dms get hidden but yeah that was a very weird text to receive of someone who I thought was a chill person who im friends with. Next when I was pinning the elimination game once on the sub cuz I thought it would be fun for the community she dmed me saying that I need to act professional and unpinned it without asking me? Apperently there was a pinning drama on the discord when I was pinning the eg which im ngl, if yall legit have drama over pins. Thats kinda pathetic. Funnily enough she always kept the "serious" stuff pinned whilst I was a mod. And now I checked the sub and nothing, even the series stuff is pinned? Thats very odd to say the least. Kinda makes it look like you like had a vendetta against me pinning stuff that I thought was worthy of it and you just kinda stopped caring after I left? Another (holy shit dra refrence) case is when I falsely banned someone (the whole thing was kinda a mess but it wasnt a perma ban dw it was like for 3 days), basiclly long story shirt I was under the false impression the user was shipping incest and thats against the rules so I gave them a 3 day ban. I should also add that im maybe not the biggest fan of the person and I had them blocked, but I swear on utsuro-sama I genuinly didnt ban them just because I disliked them, hell I even made the ban just for a few days. But yeah void helped me clear some stuff out and I discovered I was in the wrong, so thanks void. But basiclly she would unban the person and give them a message that theyr unbanned. I wanted to do it myself but you cant message peeps you have blocked. So I asked her if she could say in the message, that I apologize for the whole thing and and that I agreed on unbanning them. Which she didnt do, its kinda weird for me but maybe she just forgot so idk. So it aint a huge deal but idk. But the thing I really wanna talk about is this. So one day, I was on vacation. This was around early september. And there was some drama on the sub, me and void, in result, had some banter. I was on vacay and I really wasnt doing well mentally at the time, like I was actaully feeling like crap, I had a cold too so I just didnt feel well, so arguring and stuff wasnt great for me, especially with my anger issues. And I said some rude stuff. However. I apologized to voids later (it was like a 10 minute time frame, I blocked her during that time and 10 minutes later I realized I was being very rude and unblocked and apologizes. So it was chill and I explained to void how I wasnt feeling well and stuff, she said she also wasnt doing great. So I said to postpone the convo but she still kept talking to me about stuff that I really wasnt in the mood to handle. Like the discord and why people didnt like me which is fine but when im telling you to hey, lets wait with the convo, please next time take that as "Okay see you later we'll discuss it later". I kind of started to say like "hey can you please stop talking to me" and I think that irked her badly. Because a few mins later after we stopped the convo and she replied with https://www.reddit.comSpider_crystal/s/PNTKNvjUtp

1. And now personally. I understand why void was angry at me. And if you think someone is bad for you, block them. Like I said too. But I just wanna say some stuff here too
   1. Yeah I geuss I do, its just a thing in life mixed my anger issues. Im trying to better myself with it tho
   2. Okay this was probably on my mind the longest. The whole intimidatint people younger than me. So, I have one thing to say, ahem. I am 14 years old. Yeah, im a minor, a very very young one. I was 13 last year which is what I meant by new to the internet. Because its when I was actaully kinda allowed to be there. Yeah remember my bday in June. Yeah I turned 14. So I think most of yall understand with me pressuring people younger than me into agreeing me. And how fucking hilarious that line. A 14 year old, scaring people younger than him? What is the sub and server full of 12 year olds lmfao. I saw some People admit theyr like adults, 20's, some People were like 16, 18. And to me them being so scared of a child much less developed than them is fucking hilarious to me. Like thats fucking pathetic omg.
2. Did yall actaully think I was an adult? HOW, HOWWWWW. I ACT LIKE A FUCKING CHILD, A BAFOON. I MAKE SHITPOSTS AND MAKE SEX JOKES. YK LIKE EVERY 14 YEAR OLD DOES. YALL REALLY THOUGHT I WAS AN ADULT LMFAOOOOOO. Anyways laughing over. Ik void is the same age as me but I still dont understand, I mean she acts more Mature than me so idk how she didnt see me being around the same age as her. I think most of my behaviour is explained to a lot of people now, not excused, just kinda a "Oh thats why" moment yk. But man fr, that has to be a lie right? Like either everyone is 12-13 or adults or older people are scared of me and "forced" to agree with me because im apperently intimidating and "somehow" seem older. Lmfao. Or void just lied to make me feel guilty which good try you got a good laugh out of me
3. Thats fair, depends on the person. I dont lie and the apology was genuine, but if you dont wanna believe it dont. Trust your own gut, thats the key to survival
4. I mean yeah, I am biased towards my beliefs. Idk what you want me to say to that really lol
5. I am sorry, I suppouse?
6. Yeah good on you honestly, its good to cut the bad people out of your life

And thats it it. This was the personal part. So I doubt anyone is gonna read this but hey good for me. Kinda sucks that me and void kinda couldnt be friends. Because even if she was rude to me a lot I still think shes a good person and I would have liked being friends with her. Oh well. Oh also i sorry void for replying to ur twitter post once rudely. I dont know why I did that but im really sorry for how I acted, I mean it was just a 'Hey' but it was definetly a snarky one so Im sorry. And thats it for me, been fun shitposting, thats all I gotta say. See ya, live a happy life y'all

I am NOT OP. Original post by u/Specialist-Ball9777 in AITAH, EntitledPeople and her user account
trigger warnings: infidelity, parental abandonment, harrassement/trespassing, stealing, lying, false allegation of SA, possible sex with a minor, grooming
​
New update is from 15th December marked by 🚨🚨
Previous BoRU is here
For clarity, the abbreviations used by OOP are:

• HS = half-sister
• BM = biological mother
• Rando = BM's current husband
• GM = maternal grandmother
• AP = HS's bio father
• RO = restraining order
• TO = no trespassing order
• TRO = temporary restraining order

​
AITAH for not helping my half-sister - 10th November 2023
My half-sister (HS) and I have no real relationship.
Background: My dad divorced our mother when I was 5 and HS was still 4, but going on 5. HS was the product of my mother's affair and born exactly nine months after me. My dad stayed with my mother up until I, at 5, told him about the man my mother kept bringing over when he wasn't home - that would be HS's father.
My dad gave my mother the house in exchange for removing his name from HS's birth certificate. He paid her child support for me up until I was 8 and my mother abandoned me during her week because her AP didn't want to take a child that wasn't his to visit his family for the holidays anymore and HS pretty much hated me because her grandpa supposedly liked me better.
Dad tried to be civil and make sure I had a relationship with HS after that, but I didn't want anything to do with her either, so I never spent time with her after that. HS herself would say she didn't have a sister, so I never claimed her.
AITAH Question and Advice Needed
The day I made my account, HS called me. I don't know how she got my number, but she was sobbing about "our mom" kicking her out of the house and not wanting anything to do with her now that she's married to (random name) - don't know who he is. I just hung up on her to be honest and she started texting me that she really needs her sister's help. She says she has nowhere else to go, her father cut contact awhile ago and no one is willing to come up to get her (she lives six hours away from where I live, which I guess is easy to figure - I live next door to my dad). I'm a bit torn because when she called again, I told her we're not actually sisters and I'm not coming to get her nor am I giving her a place to stay until she's back on her feet. Then I hung up again.
I blocked her number, but she's been calling from other numbers and now I have people from my mother's family telling me I'm an awful sister and I should be more understanding because I was once the child that got kicked out. I just need some insight because I want to know if I'm in the wrong or if I should've gone about it differently.

Comments
BimboTwitchBarbie
NTA - tell those people that they should take her in if it matters that much to them.
gufiutt
NTA — your mother’s family has a lot of nerve. Are any of them stepping forward to help your HS out?
Ultimately, you don’t owe her anything due to some shared genetics. At the same time, do you want to act the same way she did. I’d definitely be cautious bringing someone into my home that I didn’t trust enough to not rob me blind, etc. you know her better than we do. If you do decide to be the change you would like to see in the world just be certain to lay out all of the possible ground rules ahead of time.
​

OOP:That's my main question, the "act the same way she did" part. Had this been a few years earlier, I would've helped her I think - when we were kids, I'm pretty sure she was just parroting whatever her parents were saying. But we're both 25 now and I don't get why after 17 years, I'm the one she comes running to. I don't think I should've said what I said when she was already so emotional, but I just don't get it.
No one is helping her as far as I know. Most of the people calling/texting are people I don't have a relationship with. My grandma claims she has a full house right now and since I "technically" live alone, she thinks I should help HS out. But she's saying that because of the whole "family helps family" mindset.
I don't know her all that well anymore either. She's as much of a stranger to me now as she is to you, I just wanna know what others would do in my place.

​
Judgement is NTA
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They dropped her off at my house (rant) - 12th November 2023
4 days ago, I made my account and contemplated asking if I was an AH for something. My half sister (HS) had called me crying, saying "our" mother kicked her out and she really needs her sister. I hung up the first time and when she kept calling and texting, I told her we're not actually sisters and I wasn't driving six hours to pick her up nor letting her stay with me. I've been getting nonstop texts and calls from my maternal family since then. My maternal grandmother, the only person I stayed in any contact with, pretty much begged me to "be a good sister" and let HS stay with me - she told HS I have my own house, gave her my number, ect.
I've blocked my grandmother and everyone saying that I should be understanding because we've both been abandoned by our mother. It isn't the same, I told my grandmother this, but no one seems willing to acknowledge that.
For context, HS and I are exactly 9 months apart in age. She's the product of an affair and my dad stayed with my biological mother (BM) until I was 5 and told him she kept bringing a man around when he wasn't home - her affair partner (AP) and HS's biological dad. Dad divorced BM and gave her the house in exchange for removing his name from HS's birth certificate.
BM lost custody of me when I was 8 after abandoning me because AP didn't want to bring a child that wasn't his to family gatherings. Dad tried to keep it civil so I could have a relationship with HS, but she was a mini-AP and never viewed me as a sister. I didn't like being around her, so my dad never forced me to. BM, AP, and HS moved not long after this - BM had been in childcare and lost her job because no one wants to hire you to watch their kids when you abandon yours in the middle of the night...
I haven't seen HS in 17 years. I didn't know what she looked like until I came home today. She was sitting on my porch with a suitcase and a car, I think my grandmother's, pulled off as soon as I parked. I didn't get out of the car, I was too angry to even move and I'm still angry right now. She kept saying she needs me and started crying, telling me that "our mom" was awful, her dad cut contact, and BM's new partner doesn't want her in his house.
I live next door to my dad, so when HS started knocking on my car window after I just stared at her, I called him and told him what was going on and ask what I should do. Dad told me to stay in my car and call the cops, say I had a trespasser, which I did. I didn't get out until the cops came and when they did, HS told them I agreed to let her stay and now I'm leaving her homeless.
I just showed them the texts, specifically the only texts I gave in response to everyone demanding U let her stay - "no" to you have the space; "no" to she's your sister; "no" to can she PLEASE stay with you. Nothing but refusals before I blocked people. When HS kept saying we're sisters, I told the cops I haven't seen "this woman" in 17 years - I don't know her, I didn't even know what she looked like. We're not family beyond sharing an egg donor.
I went as far as unblocking my grandmother and calling her. I didn't even get to speak. She said/yelled - "Look, OP, I love you, but you need to get over this! She's family and she needs you and I've told your father you'd go to hell if he raised you to be so damn selfish and you definitely will because she's going through the same thing you went through!"
She hung up right after and I told the cops they can book HS or drop her at a shelter - I don't care. I just want her off my property.
They took her and now I'm sitting here on my dad's couch wondering what the hell just happened. He doesn't want me staying alone right now in case they show back up. I'm so pissed right now, I don't get it. 17 damn years of no contact, I only speak to my grandmother on holidays, I don't know most of the aunts and uncles and cousins that blew up my phone, but because BM pushed me out I have to do what they tell me to.
I'm 25 years old. I've only had my dad and my paternal family for years. BM and her family haven't done crap for me, none of them even know when my damn birthday is because even my grandmother TEXTS me on the wrong day - not even a phone call. If HS needs help so badly, one of YOU should help her! I don't know her, I don't know any of you either. I'm not letting an entire stranger into my house! And 6 hours is too far to visit when I had surgery, but not too far to try and force me to do something!?

HawkeyeinDC
This is crazy. Why is no one on the maternal side stepping up? And how old is this half-sister?
It also just seems SO bizarre that your maternal grandmother would drive a 12 hour round trip to basically ditch your half-sister with you….
​

OOP: She's 24-25, her birthday is close I think. And it is crazy that she drove down here. I know there's far more to this situation and I really don't wanna know. I just want them to leave me be.

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HawkeyeinDC
I know you don’t plan to let her move in with you, but don’t ever change your mind on that. She’ll likely never leave, won’t pay rent/contribute towards costs, and you’d have to legally evict her. Save yourself the headache!
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OOP: The nightmare of an eviction process is part of why I don't like the idea of anyone staying with me tbh. It's 7 nights in a row here for guests to become tenants and the one time a friend of mine let someone stay with her, one week turned into six months of court hearings and damaged property. Definitely gonna save myself the headache.

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Update They dropped her off at my house - 13 November 2023
I checked the camera footage last night/this morning. HS and BM's mother had been looking under mats, rocks, in potted plants, the mailbox, and checking the doors. Probably were looking for a spare - I don't keep one on my property and my dad, grandma, and grandpa have keys they keep with theirs. My uncle did an overhaul of mine and dad's cameras. We now have ones that send notifications to our phones when motion is detected. Also got ring doorbells for the front and back doors. There are other features and all the cameras are better hidden as well. I went to the police department while he was doing this and brought my grandpa with me.
HS was booked for trespassing, but not held very long since BM's mother picked her up from the station. They stuck to the lie of me offering HS a place to stay and gave statements. Not sure how that's going to go, but I'm taking steps to protect myself, my property, and my dad and his property.
HS doesn't have a record beyond this, so this was her first offense. I don't know how I feel about that tbh. It sounds awful, but I had hoped she would have at least one prior because commenters make it seem like that would make the outcome of a permanent RO and TO favorable. BM's mother DOES have a record though. Harassment, trespassing, and domestic violence. I shared this with the police as well.
Either way, I was able to get a temporary restraining order today, so there's that. I gave the camera footage to the police alongside copies of the texts (printed out and on USB), gave a statement, and they called a judge to get the TRO issued. I talked with them about other things like self-defense recommendations, overhauling my security system, getting a gun for protection, and so on. I was really anxious and just kept talking because it finally hit me that these people know where I live and they're willing to make the 6 hours to harass me and get inside my home.
The texts and voice-messages haven't stopped (I unblocked and muted). There are direct and indirect threats. BM's mother is adamant that since I have an entire house to myself, a stable job, and no children, I "will" be housing HS or she'd give me the @ss-whopping my dad should've.
HS has only left one voice-message about coming over later today and that she's staying with me because "that's what blood does, they help." When there was no response, she sent multiple texts telling me I need to be more understanding, that she's in a tough spot, and that she's moving in "for at least a week" until she's able to support herself (it's 7 days to gain tenancy here).
Additional clarification for people asking about the age gap. I'm a February 1st baby, HS is a November 29th baby. I say "exactly" 9 months because I'm not counting the weeks and days - just felt that people knowing we're the same age was relevant and gave context to why I have no relationship with her. I don't know if she was premature. I never asked tbh and there are people saying they have similar gaps around them, so I have nothing to add.
Multiple people also asked if I hate HS and that I sound resentful for things she said as a child and for things her parents did. In my first post, I talked to someone in the comments and admitted that had this been a few years earlier, I may have helped HS without much thought. I know as children, she was just parroting her parents. I don't fault her for that nor do I blame her for BM abandoning me.
But it's been 17 years. We've been legal adults for 7 of those years. She could've reached out at any point, but didn't and said she had no sister. I also could've reached out at any point, but also didn't. I just moved on with my life - I was in therapy since I was abandoned and it took me years to move on from no one on that side actually wanting me.
Now she's making herself a problem. BM's mother aside, HS was sitting on my porch with a suitcase ready to force herself into my home and life. She allowed herself to be driven 6 hours to my home, sat on my porch for half an hour, and then lied to police all after I said no multiple times. She never claimed me until she needed something and now she's forcing herself into my life on the basis of being family.
I don't hate her, that's too much energy, but I do resent her now alongside her grandmother and the rest of her family. I was ignored for YEARS and now I feel unsafe in my own home just because HS and those around her can't take "no" for an answer. This isn't about BM's affair, this is about HS and her family ruining my safe space, my home, with their crap. The past is a factor in that resentment now because, again, I haven't spoken to her in 17 years, I didn't know what she looked like, but suddenly we're sisters because she needs someplace to stay. I definitely resent that.
Also, I feel validated in my choices - posting to Reddit, asking for and taking advice, listening to my dad. The attorney I spoke to pretty much said all the same things commenters have. Unblocking and muting to get and evidence of harassment. Calling the cops and showing them the messages because it proves there was no implied invitation. This is apparently the biggest thing I had to worry about because even letting HS stay on my porch could've worked against me.
Giving the cops the camera footage of HS and BM's mother looking for a spare key was also a good move. Even going about upgrading security, getting self-defense items, and asking the officers about self-defense recommendations and my wish to get a gun for protection works in my favor - it shows that even though this was HS's first offense, I don't feel safe and she's a major cause of that. And I don't.
So thank you again for all the advice. If they show up like they said, I'm gonna set off my security system and call the cops.
Edit (from a comment) It wasn't "active" [the TRO] when I posted the update because they hadn't been served yet. They were found at a hotel near my home and were served (a neighbor saw them and called the police). I was reporting the texts though. The TRO is on both HS and BM's mother.
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Comments

OOP:My neighbors, friends, and family are all on rotation watching the house and I have my grandparents with me. Grandpa is 6'2", carries at all times, and is pretty intimidating (in the opinion of others at least). My dad is similar alongside my uncle and a friend that's gonna sleepover tonight.
The signs are now up and was part of the lawyer's advice, so you definitely have the right idea! Cease and desists have also been filed for everyone else harassing me and so far, no one's showing up on my property like they said they would. Hopefully it stays that way

Concern cousin on HS - 13th November 2023
Was going through the first messages sent to me and found one of the many I muted without reading. This is from a cousin of HS.
Note - the order of info was edited to be better understood. A lot was blocks of text, so I tried to put it in order.
AP cut contact with HS when she was 20. She covered BM's affair with Rando. AP stopped paying her tuition and cut her off financially. HS's work history is non-existent She was kicked out by BM a month ago because she was sleeping with Rando and one of his sons. Said son turned 18 two months ago. HS came home to hers and Rando's things on the curb and all the locks changed.
Police weren't involved. The cousin doesn't know if BM told the boy's mother, but she did tell the entire family. Essentially said "protect you kids and marriage." HS claims she only slept with him on his birthday, but BM claims he was a minor when HS slept with him.
The family is adamant about getting her somewhere safe to stay long-term because HS is pregnant. No one likes her, but believe abandoning her is wrong due to her pregnancy. The cousin expresses doubt about the pregnancy. HS showed GM a positive pregnancy test, but no one else has been given any proof. HS has a history of lying.
HS couch-surfed with those that don't have kids. So far she's - "borrowed" someone's car without permission; taken expensive items to pawn; taken money meant for interview clothes and travel then blew it on expensive "mom and baby" outfits. When cops are involved, she lies and has gotten someone arrested by claiming SA when they tried to have her removed from their property.
The plot to get HS into my house was the idea of an uncle (one of GM's three sons). GM apparently brags/complains about me being young with no kids, a well-paid job, and a house I own. Essentially, this uncle said I had no responsibilities, disposable income, and plenty of room. Because no one wants to outright abandon HS, this was the "best plan."
The cousin - "don't give a inch not even a ride to a shelter. Someone tried and she caused a scene nearly got them arrested because she kept lying about the situation. Please read this I read your two posts stay safe."

Comments
7thatsanope
Great job of the cousin filling in these outrageous blanks. Wow.
indiajeweljax
OP should keep in touch with this cousin to see what else is coming. Surely they aren’t done yet.
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GhoulishHoney
I figured there was a pregnancy involved when there was talk of meeting the minimum number of days for tenancy. They want her to stay long enough that you can't force her out quickly, making it likely that she has the baby (if actually pregnant), and how could you possibly kick out the baby? OP, please protect yourself as I think this is only the beginning of it.
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StageHandRed
Honest worry about your holiday plans. I wouldn't leave your house/travel for Thanksgiving or Christmas, and be ready for her to make a scene on one of those days and try to get into the house if you have guests. Or porch pirate you stuff. Stay safe OP. We're rooting for you.
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OOP: Definitely preparing for that. I've read all of camper nomad's posts and the potential lengths HS and GM may go is scary af. My grandma (the real one) brought this up herself and suggested we just have it here. That way if they pop up around holidays, all of us are present and ready for the bs. Thank you

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Update - I'm alive and well - 14th November 2023
No major updates today. Texts and calls have all stopped, my entire neighborhood is on alert, and the family rotation continues. One of my friends stayed last night and a different friend agreed to stay tonight. Today will be spent with my aunt (the one with the keychain and fisticuff bracelet) and grandma.
No one showed up at my house in the middle of the night.
I'm following the advice of multiple people, the first being about making an "FU" binder.
https://www.reddit.comForwardPlenty/s/eH1RTLp63G
My aunt suggested making transcripts of all the saved voice-messages, which I think is a pretty good addition to this to go along with the USB drive of them. So that'll be part of what I do today.
The second piece of advice I have saved is about documenting every day, even if nothing happens, in a spiral notebook. I started on this immediately.
https://www.reddit.com/EntitledPeople/s/RlrOlGYBn0
Will also be recording when I go to and from work or anywhere tbh. Also, multiple people on the door screws - that was among the first things done when I brought the house! And my windows were all changed on purchase as well. They're impact windows, so it'll take a lot of effort to break them. My uncle has always been big on home safety, so he did all of that with me. Even though I'm next door to my dad and fairly close to the rest of the family, he always says I'm still a woman alone in a house - you can never be too safe.
I feel a bit better with all the advice offered. If anyone is having similar trouble, take the advice offered in the comments. It really helped and I'm grateful for all the help.
Holiday vacations has officially been canceled and refunded (always invest in travel insurance!)
A lot of stories shared with me have me on edge about leaving my home unattended. My neighbors offered to watch my house, but I'd feel more comfortable being present if something happens. So this year I'm gonna be hosting Thanksgiving and potentially Christmas. My grandma suggested this and she's getting really into it, so today might also be shopping for decorations.
Thank you guys again!
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Comments
Keldin145014
Only thing Paranoid!Me worries is that they'll use the Thanksgiving party (either preparing for or day of) to gain entrance.
​

OOP: Same here. It's why my grandma is adamant about having it at my place tbh. That way if anyone tries anything, my whole family is present.

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Straysmom
I'm sorry that you have to be so vigilant, just because of some entitled aka crazy "family" members. Would taking that whole mess that your cousin sent via text to the police help at all? If there was an investigation opened, she might find herself in extremely hot water.

OOP: If anything comes from my talks with my cousin, I'll definitely make an update. Don't wanna put out any info on it since HS is apparently a lurker on my posts

RustySax
IF, and it's a questionable IF, HS is, indeed pregnant, and if, indeed, the sperm donor was Rambo's son, and if, indeed, Rambo's son was under 18 at the time of conception, there are many jurisdictions where law enforcement would be VERY interested in this situation. Which could also very quickly solve your problem at the same time.
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Happy Turkey Day! - 24th November 2023
Hi everyone, happy Thanksgiving! My day went well. There were no surprise visitors, no calls or texts, and no real updates on anything. I'm probably not gonna post anymore unless something happens. Thank you to everyone asking for updates on my safety - everything's fine, but I'm staying vigilant regardless.
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🚨🚨New Update Starts Here🚨🚨
Update mainly from Concern Cousin - 15th December 2023
​
Got an update from my cousin about my half-sister and the situation with her step-brother.
First off, half-sister was arrested after stealing her grandmother's car and credit cards. When she was booked, she apparently made it known she was pregnant, but then refused to do a pregnancy test. State laws mean they couldn't force her to. Our cousin says that her period came on while in jail and she claimed it was a miscarriage - it wasn't.
She eventually admitted that her grandmother told her to claim pregnant because that was the only way anyone would want to help her. It worked for a time, but her antics made everyone stop beyond trying to push her onto me. She's claiming she had a mental breakdown and that's why she stole the car and so on.
Next, the step-brother. Concern Cousin did involve child protective services, mainly for the younger of the two step-brothers since the eldest is 18 already. Both of us were worried half-sister had been involved with him in some capacity too.
Their mother was also worried when she got the full extent of what was going on - she had filed her own report and told Concern Cousin about it when they reached out after the older step-brother had a tirade online (essentially saying he was legal and slept with half-sister because he wanted to).
It hadn't been a one-time thing either. He and her slept together multiple times, but he's adamant that it was only when he was legal and never before.
The younger of the two revealed that half-sister offered to sleep with him too, but emphasized the "when you're legal" part to him every time she brought it up. She was grooming them, at least that's what I feel like she was doing.
He described conversations that made him uncomfortable like asking about girls he liked, constantly complimenting his looks, bringing up his age and maturity, so on. Unlike his brother, he never got comfortable with her, but also never said anything because this isn't the first time he's dealt with creepy older women.
Both step-brothers are in therapy, solo and family, and their father has lost custody entirely. Hopefully both get the aid they need. I feel disgusted by what I learned, especially because the younger opened up about actually having told his mother about his discomforts - he just wasn't taken seriously by her.
My maternal grandmother was also arrested this morning alongside her son, the one that gave her the idea of me taking in my half-sister. Both came by my house trying to plead a case for me to pay half-sister's bail because they can't afford it.
The police were called and both were arrested. Maternal grandmother was in direct violation of the restraining order, so I hopefully won't be seeing or hearing from her again after this.
​
Comments
HUNGWHITEBOI25
LOOOOOOL OH MY GOD The absolute AUDACITY of your grandmother😂 “Hey i know we tried to force you to take in your half sister and made you live in fear for awhile…but pay her bail money after she stole my car cause i can’t afford it” What planet do these relatives of yours live on Op😂
Awesomekidsmom
Add on: pay her bail so she is free to harass you again …. Wow! Just wow
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Reminder - I am not the original poster.

I am NOT OP. Original post by u/Specialist-Ball9777 in AITAH, EntitledPeople and her user account
trigger warnings: infidelity, parental abandonment, harrassement/trespassing, stealing, lying, false allegation of SA, possible sex with a minor
​
For clarity, the abbreviations used by OOP are:

• HS = half-sister
• BM = biological mother
• Rando = BM's current husband
• GM = maternal grandmother
• AP = HS's bio father
• RO = restraining order
• TO = no trespassing order
• TRO = temporary restraining order

​
AITAH for not helping my half-sister - 10th November 2023
My half-sister (HS) and I have no real relationship.
Background: My dad divorced our mother when I was 5 and HS was still 4, but going on 5. HS was the product of my mother's affair and born exactly nine months after me. My dad stayed with my mother up until I, at 5, told him about the man my mother kept bringing over when he wasn't home - that would be HS's father.
My dad gave my mother the house in exchange for removing his name from HS's birth certificate. He paid her child support for me up until I was 8 and my mother abandoned me during her week because her AP didn't want to take a child that wasn't his to visit his family for the holidays anymore and HS pretty much hated me because her grandpa supposedly liked me better.
Dad tried to be civil and make sure I had a relationship with HS after that, but I didn't want anything to do with her either, so I never spent time with her after that. HS herself would say she didn't have a sister, so I never claimed her.
AITAH Question and Advice Needed
The day I made my account, HS called me. I don't know how she got my number, but she was sobbing about "our mom" kicking her out of the house and not wanting anything to do with her now that she's married to (random name) - don't know who he is. I just hung up on her to be honest and she started texting me that she really needs her sister's help. She says she has nowhere else to go, her father cut contact awhile ago and no one is willing to come up to get her (she lives six hours away from where I live, which I guess is easy to figure - I live next door to my dad). I'm a bit torn because when she called again, I told her we're not actually sisters and I'm not coming to get her nor am I giving her a place to stay until she's back on her feet. Then I hung up again.
I blocked her number, but she's been calling from other numbers and now I have people from my mother's family telling me I'm an awful sister and I should be more understanding because I was once the child that got kicked out. I just need some insight because I want to know if I'm in the wrong or if I should've gone about it differently.

Comments
BimboTwitchBarbie
NTA - tell those people that they should take her in if it matters that much to them.
gufiutt
NTA — your mother’s family has a lot of nerve. Are any of them stepping forward to help your HS out?
Ultimately, you don’t owe her anything due to some shared genetics. At the same time, do you want to act the same way she did. I’d definitely be cautious bringing someone into my home that I didn’t trust enough to not rob me blind, etc. you know her better than we do. If you do decide to be the change you would like to see in the world just be certain to lay out all of the possible ground rules ahead of time.
​

OOP:That's my main question, the "act the same way she did" part. Had this been a few years earlier, I would've helped her I think - when we were kids, I'm pretty sure she was just parroting whatever her parents were saying. But we're both 25 now and I don't get why after 17 years, I'm the one she comes running to. I don't think I should've said what I said when she was already so emotional, but I just don't get it.
No one is helping her as far as I know. Most of the people calling/texting are people I don't have a relationship with. My grandma claims she has a full house right now and since I "technically" live alone, she thinks I should help HS out. But she's saying that because of the whole "family helps family" mindset.
I don't know her all that well anymore either. She's as much of a stranger to me now as she is to you, I just wanna know what others would do in my place.

​
Judgement is NTA
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They dropped her off at my house (rant) - 12th November 2023
4 days ago, I made my account and contemplated asking if I was an AH for something. My half sister (HS) had called me crying, saying "our" mother kicked her out and she really needs her sister. I hung up the first time and when she kept calling and texting, I told her we're not actually sisters and I wasn't driving six hours to pick her up nor letting her stay with me. I've been getting nonstop texts and calls from my maternal family since then. My maternal grandmother, the only person I stayed in any contact with, pretty much begged me to "be a good sister" and let HS stay with me - she told HS I have my own house, gave her my number, ect.
I've blocked my grandmother and everyone saying that I should be understanding because we've both been abandoned by our mother. It isn't the same, I told my grandmother this, but no one seems willing to acknowledge that.
For context, HS and I are exactly 9 months apart in age. She's the product of an affair and my dad stayed with my biological mother (BM) until I was 5 and told him she kept bringing a man around when he wasn't home - her affair partner (AP) and HS's biological dad. Dad divorced BM and gave her the house in exchange for removing his name from HS's birth certificate.
BM lost custody of me when I was 8 after abandoning me because AP didn't want to bring a child that wasn't his to family gatherings. Dad tried to keep it civil so I could have a relationship with HS, but she was a mini-AP and never viewed me as a sister. I didn't like being around her, so my dad never forced me to. BM, AP, and HS moved not long after this - BM had been in childcare and lost her job because no one wants to hire you to watch their kids when you abandon yours in the middle of the night...
I haven't seen HS in 17 years. I didn't know what she looked like until I came home today. She was sitting on my porch with a suitcase and a car, I think my grandmother's, pulled off as soon as I parked. I didn't get out of the car, I was too angry to even move and I'm still angry right now. She kept saying she needs me and started crying, telling me that "our mom" was awful, her dad cut contact, and BM's new partner doesn't want her in his house.
I live next door to my dad, so when HS started knocking on my car window after I just stared at her, I called him and told him what was going on and ask what I should do. Dad told me to stay in my car and call the cops, say I had a trespasser, which I did. I didn't get out until the cops came and when they did, HS told them I agreed to let her stay and now I'm leaving her homeless.
I just showed them the texts, specifically the only texts I gave in response to everyone demanding U let her stay - "no" to you have the space; "no" to she's your sister; "no" to can she PLEASE stay with you. Nothing but refusals before I blocked people. When HS kept saying we're sisters, I told the cops I haven't seen "this woman" in 17 years - I don't know her, I didn't even know what she looked like. We're not family beyond sharing an egg donor.
I went as far as unblocking my grandmother and calling her. I didn't even get to speak. She said/yelled - "Look, OP, I love you, but you need to get over this! She's family and she needs you and I've told your father you'd go to hell if he raised you to be so damn selfish and you definitely will because she's going through the same thing you went through!"
She hung up right after and I told the cops they can book HS or drop her at a shelter - I don't care. I just want her off my property.
They took her and now I'm sitting here on my dad's couch wondering what the hell just happened. He doesn't want me staying alone right now in case they show back up. I'm so pissed right now, I don't get it. 17 damn years of no contact, I only speak to my grandmother on holidays, I don't know most of the aunts and uncles and cousins that blew up my phone, but because BM pushed me out I have to do what they tell me to.
I'm 25 years old. I've only had my dad and my paternal family for years. BM and her family haven't done crap for me, none of them even know when my damn birthday is because even my grandmother TEXTS me on the wrong day - not even a phone call. If HS needs help so badly, one of YOU should help her! I don't know her, I don't know any of you either. I'm not letting an entire stranger into my house! And 6 hours is too far to visit when I had surgery, but not too far to try and force me to do something!?

HawkeyeinDC
This is crazy. Why is no one on the maternal side stepping up? And how old is this half-sister?
It also just seems SO bizarre that your maternal grandmother would drive a 12 hour round trip to basically ditch your half-sister with you….
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OOP: She's 24-25, her birthday is close I think. And it is crazy that she drove down here. I know there's far more to this situation and I really don't wanna know. I just want them to leave me be.

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HawkeyeinDC
I know you don’t plan to let her move in with you, but don’t ever change your mind on that. She’ll likely never leave, won’t pay rent/contribute towards costs, and you’d have to legally evict her. Save yourself the headache!
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OOP: The nightmare of an eviction process is part of why I don't like the idea of anyone staying with me tbh. It's 7 nights in a row here for guests to become tenants and the one time a friend of mine let someone stay with her, one week turned into six months of court hearings and damaged property. Definitely gonna save myself the headache.

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Update They dropped her off at my house - 13 November 2023
I checked the camera footage last night/this morning. HS and BM's mother had been looking under mats, rocks, in potted plants, the mailbox, and checking the doors. Probably were looking for a spare - I don't keep one on my property and my dad, grandma, and grandpa have keys they keep with theirs. My uncle did an overhaul of mine and dad's cameras. We now have ones that send notifications to our phones when motion is detected. Also got ring doorbells for the front and back doors. There are other features and all the cameras are better hidden as well. I went to the police department while he was doing this and brought my grandpa with me.
HS was booked for trespassing, but not held very long since BM's mother picked her up from the station. They stuck to the lie of me offering HS a place to stay and gave statements. Not sure how that's going to go, but I'm taking steps to protect myself, my property, and my dad and his property.
HS doesn't have a record beyond this, so this was her first offense. I don't know how I feel about that tbh. It sounds awful, but I had hoped she would have at least one prior because commenters make it seem like that would make the outcome of a permanent RO and TO favorable. BM's mother DOES have a record though. Harassment, trespassing, and domestic violence. I shared this with the police as well.
Either way, I was able to get a temporary restraining order today, so there's that. I gave the camera footage to the police alongside copies of the texts (printed out and on USB), gave a statement, and they called a judge to get the TRO issued. I talked with them about other things like self-defense recommendations, overhauling my security system, getting a gun for protection, and so on. I was really anxious and just kept talking because it finally hit me that these people know where I live and they're willing to make the 6 hours to harass me and get inside my home.
The texts and voice-messages haven't stopped (I unblocked and muted). There are direct and indirect threats. BM's mother is adamant that since I have an entire house to myself, a stable job, and no children, I "will" be housing HS or she'd give me the @ss-whopping my dad should've.
HS has only left one voice-message about coming over later today and that she's staying with me because "that's what blood does, they help." When there was no response, she sent multiple texts telling me I need to be more understanding, that she's in a tough spot, and that she's moving in "for at least a week" until she's able to support herself (it's 7 days to gain tenancy here).
Additional clarification for people asking about the age gap. I'm a February 1st baby, HS is a November 29th baby. I say "exactly" 9 months because I'm not counting the weeks and days - just felt that people knowing we're the same age was relevant and gave context to why I have no relationship with her. I don't know if she was premature. I never asked tbh and there are people saying they have similar gaps around them, so I have nothing to add.
Multiple people also asked if I hate HS and that I sound resentful for things she said as a child and for things her parents did. In my first post, I talked to someone in the comments and admitted that had this been a few years earlier, I may have helped HS without much thought. I know as children, she was just parroting her parents. I don't fault her for that nor do I blame her for BM abandoning me.
But it's been 17 years. We've been legal adults for 7 of those years. She could've reached out at any point, but didn't and said she had no sister. I also could've reached out at any point, but also didn't. I just moved on with my life - I was in therapy since I was abandoned and it took me years to move on from no one on that side actually wanting me.
Now she's making herself a problem. BM's mother aside, HS was sitting on my porch with a suitcase ready to force herself into my home and life. She allowed herself to be driven 6 hours to my home, sat on my porch for half an hour, and then lied to police all after I said no multiple times. She never claimed me until she needed something and now she's forcing herself into my life on the basis of being family.
I don't hate her, that's too much energy, but I do resent her now alongside her grandmother and the rest of her family. I was ignored for YEARS and now I feel unsafe in my own home just because HS and those around her can't take "no" for an answer. This isn't about BM's affair, this is about HS and her family ruining my safe space, my home, with their crap. The past is a factor in that resentment now because, again, I haven't spoken to her in 17 years, I didn't know what she looked like, but suddenly we're sisters because she needs someplace to stay. I definitely resent that.
Also, I feel validated in my choices - posting to Reddit, asking for and taking advice, listening to my dad. The attorney I spoke to pretty much said all the same things commenters have. Unblocking and muting to get and evidence of harassment. Calling the cops and showing them the messages because it proves there was no implied invitation. This is apparently the biggest thing I had to worry about because even letting HS stay on my porch could've worked against me.
Giving the cops the camera footage of HS and BM's mother looking for a spare key was also a good move. Even going about upgrading security, getting self-defense items, and asking the officers about self-defense recommendations and my wish to get a gun for protection works in my favor - it shows that even though this was HS's first offense, I don't feel safe and she's a major cause of that. And I don't.
So thank you again for all the advice. If they show up like they said, I'm gonna set off my security system and call the cops.
Edit (from a comment) It wasn't "active" [the TRO] when I posted the update because they hadn't been served yet. They were found at a hotel near my home and were served (a neighbor saw them and called the police). I was reporting the texts though. The TRO is on both HS and BM's mother.
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Comments

OOP:My neighbors, friends, and family are all on rotation watching the house and I have my grandparents with me. Grandpa is 6'2", carries at all times, and is pretty intimidating (in the opinion of others at least). My dad is similar alongside my uncle and a friend that's gonna sleepover tonight.
The signs are now up and was part of the lawyer's advice, so you definitely have the right idea! Cease and desists have also been filed for everyone else harassing me and so far, no one's showing up on my property like they said they would. Hopefully it stays that way

Concern cousin on HS - 13th November 2023
Was going through the first messages sent to me and found one of the many I muted without reading. This is from a cousin of HS.
Note - the order of info was edited to be better understood. A lot was blocks of text, so I tried to put it in order.
AP cut contact with HS when she was 20. She covered BM's affair with Rando. AP stopped paying her tuition and cut her off financially. HS's work history is non-existent She was kicked out by BM a month ago because she was sleeping with Rando and one of his sons. Said son turned 18 two months ago. HS came home to hers and Rando's things on the curb and all the locks changed.
Police weren't involved. The cousin doesn't know if BM told the boy's mother, but she did tell the entire family. Essentially said "protect you kids and marriage." HS claims she only slept with him on his birthday, but BM claims he was a minor when HS slept with him.
The family is adamant about getting her somewhere safe to stay long-term because HS is pregnant. No one likes her, but believe abandoning her is wrong due to her pregnancy. The cousin expresses doubt about the pregnancy. HS showed GM a positive pregnancy test, but no one else has been given any proof. HS has a history of lying.
HS couch-surfed with those that don't have kids. So far she's - "borrowed" someone's car without permission; taken expensive items to pawn; taken money meant for interview clothes and travel then blew it on expensive "mom and baby" outfits. When cops are involved, she lies and has gotten someone arrested by claiming SA when they tried to have her removed from their property.
The plot to get HS into my house was the idea of an uncle (one of GM's three sons). GM apparently brags/complains about me being young with no kids, a well-paid job, and a house I own. Essentially, this uncle said I had no responsibilities, disposable income, and plenty of room. Because no one wants to outright abandon HS, this was the "best plan."
The cousin - "don't give a inch not even a ride to a shelter. Someone tried and she caused a scene nearly got them arrested because she kept lying about the situation. Please read this I read your two posts stay safe."

Comments
7thatsanope
Great job of the cousin filling in these outrageous blanks. Wow.
indiajeweljax
OP should keep in touch with this cousin to see what else is coming. Surely they aren’t done yet.
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GhoulishHoney
I figured there was a pregnancy involved when there was talk of meeting the minimum number of days for tenancy. They want her to stay long enough that you can't force her out quickly, making it likely that she has the baby (if actually pregnant), and how could you possibly kick out the baby? OP, please protect yourself as I think this is only the beginning of it.
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StageHandRed
Honest worry about your holiday plans. I wouldn't leave your house/travel for Thanksgiving or Christmas, and be ready for her to make a scene on one of those days and try to get into the house if you have guests. Or porch pirate you stuff. Stay safe OP. We're rooting for you.
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OOP: Definitely preparing for that. I've read all of camper nomad's posts and the potential lengths HS and GM may go is scary af. My grandma (the real one) brought this up herself and suggested we just have it here. That way if they pop up around holidays, all of us are present and ready for the bs. Thank you

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Update - I'm alive and well - 14th November 2023
No major updates today. Texts and calls have all stopped, my entire neighborhood is on alert, and the family rotation continues. One of my friends stayed last night and a different friend agreed to stay tonight. Today will be spent with my aunt (the one with the keychain and fisticuff bracelet) and grandma.
No one showed up at my house in the middle of the night.
I'm following the advice of multiple people, the first being about making an "FU" binder.
https://www.reddit.comForwardPlenty/s/eH1RTLp63G
My aunt suggested making transcripts of all the saved voice-messages, which I think is a pretty good addition to this to go along with the USB drive of them. So that'll be part of what I do today.
The second piece of advice I have saved is about documenting every day, even if nothing happens, in a spiral notebook. I started on this immediately.
https://www.reddit.com/EntitledPeople/s/RlrOlGYBn0
Will also be recording when I go to and from work or anywhere tbh. Also, multiple people on the door screws - that was among the first things done when I brought the house! And my windows were all changed on purchase as well. They're impact windows, so it'll take a lot of effort to break them. My uncle has always been big on home safety, so he did all of that with me. Even though I'm next door to my dad and fairly close to the rest of the family, he always says I'm still a woman alone in a house - you can never be too safe.
I feel a bit better with all the advice offered. If anyone is having similar trouble, take the advice offered in the comments. It really helped and I'm grateful for all the help.
Holiday vacations has officially been canceled and refunded (always invest in travel insurance!)
A lot of stories shared with me have me on edge about leaving my home unattended. My neighbors offered to watch my house, but I'd feel more comfortable being present if something happens. So this year I'm gonna be hosting Thanksgiving and potentially Christmas. My grandma suggested this and she's getting really into it, so today might also be shopping for decorations.
Thank you guys again!
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Comments
Keldin145014
Only thing Paranoid!Me worries is that they'll use the Thanksgiving party (either preparing for or day of) to gain entrance.
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OOP: Same here. It's why my grandma is adamant about having it at my place tbh. That way if anyone tries anything, my whole family is present.

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Straysmom
I'm sorry that you have to be so vigilant, just because of some entitled aka crazy "family" members. Would taking that whole mess that your cousin sent via text to the police help at all? If there was an investigation opened, she might find herself in extremely hot water.

OOP: If anything comes from my talks with my cousin, I'll definitely make an update. Don't wanna put out any info on it since HS is apparently a lurker on my posts

RustySax
IF, and it's a questionable IF, HS is, indeed pregnant, and if, indeed, the sperm donor was Rambo's son, and if, indeed, Rambo's son was under 18 at the time of conception, there are many jurisdictions where law enforcement would be VERY interested in this situation. Which could also very quickly solve your problem at the same time.
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**Small Update from OOP within 7 day timeframe of posting as per BoRU rules*\*
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Happy Turkey Day! - 24th November 2023
Hi everyone, happy Thanksgiving! My day went well. There were no surprise visitors, no calls or texts, and no real updates on anything. I'm probably not gonna post anymore unless something happens. Thank you to everyone asking for updates on my safety - everything's fine, but I'm staying vigilant regardless.
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Reminder - I am not the original poster.

[Warning: This post can be hard to follow. Lots of characters in the story with abbreviations]
Originally posted in AITAH
3 Updates - Medium/Long
Original Post - November 10, 2023
1st Update - November 12, 2023 (2 days After Original Post)
2nd Update - November 13, 2023 (3 days after Original Post)
3rd Update - November 13, 2023 (3 days after Original Post) - Note: This update is more of a background on HS's character. Warning: this post might be hard to follow)
...
Original Post - November 10, 2023
Original Title: AITAH for not helping my half-sister
My half-sister (HS) and I have no real relationship.
Background My dad divorced our mother when I was 5 and HS was still 4, but going on 5. HS was the product of my mother's affair and born exactly nine months after me. My dad stayed with my mother up until I, at 5, told him about the man my mother kept bringing over when he wasn't home - that would be HS's father. My dad gave my mother the house in exchange for removing his name from HS's birth certificate. He paid her child support for me up until I was 8 and my mother abandoned me during her week because her AP didn't want to take a child that wasn't his to visit his family for the holidays anymore and HS pretty much hated me because her grandpa supposedly liked me better.
Dad tried to be civil and make sure I had a relationship with HS after that, but I didn't want anything to do with her either, so I never spent time with her after that. HS herself would say she didn't have a sister, so I never claimed her.
AITAH Question and Advice Needed
The day I made my account, HS called me. I don't know how she got my number, but she was sobbing about "our mom" kicking her out of the house and not wanting anything to do with her now that she's married to (random name) - don't know who he is. I just hung up on her to be honest and she started texting me that she really needs her sister's help. She says she has nowhere else to go, her father cut contact awhile ago and no one is willing to come up to get her (she lives six hours away from where I live, which I guess is easy to figure - I live next door to my dad). I'm a bit torn because when she called again, I told her we're not actually sisters and I'm not coming to get her nor am I giving her a place to stay until she's back on her feet. Then I hung up again.
I blocked her number, but she's been calling from other numbers and now I have people from my mother's family telling me I'm an awful sister and I should be more understanding because I was once the child that got kicked out. I just need some insight because I want to know if I'm in the wrong or if I should've gone about it differently.
Relevant Comments:
NTA — your mother’s family has a lot of nerve. Are any of them stepping forward to help your HS out?
Ultimately, you don’t owe her anything due to some shared genetics. At the same time, do you want to act the same way she did. I’d definitely be cautious bringing someone into my home that I didn’t trust enough to not rob me blind, etc. you know her better than we do. If you do decide to be the change you would like to see in the world just be certain to lay out all of the possible ground rules ahead of time.

OOP'S Reply:
That's my main question, the "act the same way she did" part. Had this been a few years earlier, I would've helped her I think - when we were kids, I'm pretty sure she was just parroting whatever her parents were saying. But we're both 25 now and I don't get why after 17 years, I'm the one she comes running to. I don't think I should've said what I said when she was already so emotional, but I just don't get it.
No one is helping her as far as I know. Most of the people calling/texting are people I don't have a relationship with. My grandma claims she has a full house right now and since I "technically" live alone, she thinks I should help HS out. But she's saying that because of the whole "family helps family" mindset.
I don't know her all that well anymore either. She's as much of a stranger to me now as she is to you, I just wanna know what others would do in my place.

..
NTA, but it's a bit sus that no one seems ready to step in and help your HS, what did she do to get kicked out?

OOP's Reply:
Her texts made it seem like her mother got remarried sad the new husband doesn't want her in the house anymore. My grandma hasn't added more info either. An aunt and a few cousins claim that it's similar to what happened to me, IE a new spouse not wanting a child that isn't his around.

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1st Update - November 12, 2023 (2 days After Original Post)
Original Title: They dropped her off at my house (rant) - in EntitledPeople
Wasn't sure where to post this.
4 days ago, I made my account and contemplated asking if I was an AH for something. My half sister (HS) had called me crying, saying "our" mother kicked her out and she really needs her sister. I hung up the first time and when she kept calling and texting, I told her we're not actually sisters and I wasn't driving six hours to pick her up nor letting her stay with me. I've been getting nonstop texts and calls from my maternal family since then. My maternal grandmother, the only person I stayed in any contact with, pretty much begged me to "be a good sister" and let HS stay with me - she told HS I have my own house, gave her my number, etc.
I've blocked my grandmother and everyone saying that I should be understanding because we've both been abandoned by our mother. It isn't the same, I told my grandmother this, but no one seems willing to acknowledge that.
For context, HS and I are exactly 9 months apart in age. She's the product of an affair and my dad stayed with my biological mother (BM) until I was 5 and told him she kept bringing a man around when he wasn't home - her affair partner (AP) and HS's biological dad. Dad divorced BM and gave her the house in exchange for removing his name from HS's birth certificate. BM lost custody of me when I was 8 after abandoning me because AP didn't want to bring a child that wasn't his to family gatherings. Dad tried to keep it civil so I could have a relationship with HS, but she was a mini-AP and never viewed me as a sister. I didn't like being around her, so my dad never forced me to. BM, AP, and HS moved not long after this - BM had been in childcare and lost her job because no one wants to hire you to watch their kids when you abandon yours in the middle of the night...
I haven't seen HS in 17 years. I didn't know what she looked like until I came home today. She was sitting on my porch with a suitcase and a car, I think my grandmother's, pulled off as soon as I parked. I didn't get out of the car, I was too angry to even move and I'm still angry right now. She kept saying she needs me and started crying, telling me that "our mom" was awful, her dad cut contact, and BM's nee partner doesn't want her in his house.
I live next door to my dad, so when HS started knocking on my car window after I just stared at her, I called him and told him what was going on and ask what I should do. Dad told me to stay in my car and call the cops, say I had a trespasser, which I did. I didn't get out until the cops came and when they did, HS told them I agreed to let her stay and now I'm leaving her homeless. I just showed them the texts, specifically the only texts I gave in response to everyone demanding U let her stay - "no" to you have the space; "no" to she's your sister; "no" to can she PLEASE stay with you. Nothing but refusals before I blocked people. When HS kept saying we're sisters, I told the cops I haven't seen "this woman" in 17 years - I don't know her, I didn't even know what she looked like. We're not family beyond sharing an egg donor.
I went as far as unblocking my grandmother and calling her. I didn't even get to speak. She said/yelled - "Look, OP, I love you, but you need to get over this! She's family and she needs you and I've told your father you'd go to hell if he raised you to be so damn selfish and you definitely will because she's going through the same thing you went through!"
She hung up right after and I told the cops they can book HS or drop her at a shelter - I don't care. I just want her off my property.
They took her and now I'm sitting here on my dad's couch wondering what the hell just happened. He doesn't want me staying alone right now in case they show back up. I'm so pissed right now, I don't get it. 17 damn years of no contact, I only speak to my grandmother on holidays, I don't know most of the aunts and uncles and cousins that blew up my phone, but because BM pushed me out I have to do what they tell me to.
I'm 25 years old. I've only had my dad and my paternal family for years. BM and her family haven't done crap for me, none of them even know when my damn birthday is because even my grandmother TEXTS me on the wrong day - not even a phone call. If HS needs help so badly, one of YOU should help her! I don't know her, I don't know any of you either. I'm not letting an entire stranger into my house! And 6 hours is too far to visit when I had surgery, but not too far to try and force me to do something!?
Relevant Comments:
Yes, the maternal side of your family should be helping out here and taking her in. Not your responsibility.

Another User adds:
It's crazy how the maternal grandmother says the dad and OP would go to hell for being selfish... But not a word on her own daughter / BM. I don't get why AP doesn’t even look after his own daughter / HS.

..
Oh FFS! Go one step further and ask for a restraining order!
Get cameras for your home!

OOP's Reply:
Gonna get one and hopefully it's approved. Thankfully already have a security system and cameras too.

..
My advice: never have ANYTHING to do with your grandmother again or anyone else on the maternal side of the family. Never let any of them contact you by any means. This situation with the half-sister is very, very suspicious.
More advice: Get a second phone number and tell everyone you want in your life what it is. Remind them all several times to change their records to reflect the new number. And then, after a month, disconnect the old one.
Yet more advice: File a restraining order against your grandmother and your half-sister. What they did is creepy as fuck.

OOP's Reply:
Thank for the advice. I'm definitely not gonna have anything to do with my grandmother anymore and I'm gonna try to get a restraining order. I have the texts saved, I'm gonna check the footage of my security system tomorrow, and so on.
Definitely will follow the advice about the number.

..
Stay strong and good luck!
You probably haven't heard the end of this.
Do you have a security system on your house and/or car? Maybe I am being paranoid, but better safe than sorry. (If you get one for your house, make sure it also covers your parking spot).
You might want to let the neighbors on the other side of you, or across the streets, know a version of what's going on in case she comes back.
They all seem a little unhinged and out of touch with reality.
I am glad your father and the paternal side of the family was there for you.

OOP's Reply:
I have a security system in my house and cameras. I also have a garage that I normally park my car in and a camera points at the spot in front of the garage door too. I'm gonna tell my neighbors come morning and hopefully nothing else happens. But I'm still gonna try and get a restraining order.

Another user suggests:
In that case, you shouldn't have blocked them. Mute them sure, ignore them, definitely, but blocking them prevents you gathering evidence of harassment and stalking.

OOP's Reply:
I didn't think about that. Thanks for the info, will definitely do this and hopefully it'll be worth it in the end.

...
2nd Update - November 13, 2023 (3 days after Original Post)
Original Title: Update They dropped her off at my house
For clarity to new people:
HS = maternal half-sister
BM = biological mother
BM's mother = maternal grandmother
RO = restraining order
TO = no trespassing order
TRO = temporary restraining order
I checked the camera footage last night/this morning. HS and BM's mother had been looking under mats, rocks, in potted plants, the mailbox, and checking the doors. Probably were looking for a spare - I don't keep one on my property and my dad, grandma, and grandpa have keys they keep with theirs. My uncle did an overhaul of mine and dad's cameras. We now have ones that send notifications to our phones when motion is detected. Also got ring doorbells for the front and back doors. There are other features and all the cameras are better hidden as well. I went to the police department while he was doing this and brought my grandpa with me.
HS was booked for trespassing, but not held very long since BM's mother picked her up from the station. They stuck to the lie of me offering HS a place to stay and gave statements. Not sure how that's going to go, but I'm taking steps to protect myself, my property, and my dad and his property.
HS doesn't have a record beyond this, so this was her first offense. I don't know how I feel about that tbh. It sounds awful, but I had hoped she would have at least one prior because commenters make it seem like that would make the outcome of a permanent RO and TO favorable. BM's mother DOES have a record though. Harassment, trespassing, and domestic violence. I shared this with the police as well.
Either way, I was able to get a temporary restraining order today, so there's that. I gave the camera footage to the police alongside copies of the texts (printed out and on USB), gave a statement, and they called a judge to get the TRO issued. I talked with them about other things like self-defense recommendations, overhauling my security system, getting a gun for protection, and so on. I was really anxious and just kept talking because it finally hit me that these people know where I live and they're willing to make the 6 hours to harass me and get inside my home.
The texts and voice-messages haven't stopped (I unblocked and muted). There are direct and indirect threats. BM's mother is adamant that since I have an entire house to myself, a stable job, and no children, I "will" be housing HS or she'd give me the *ss-whopping my dad should've.
HS has only left one voice-message about coming over later today and that she's staying with me because "that's what blood does, they help." When there was no response, she sent multiple texts telling me I need to be more understanding, that she's in a tough spot, and that she's moving in "for at least a week" until she's able to support herself (it's 7 days to gain tenancy here).
Additional clarification for people asking about the age gap. I'm a February 1st baby, HS is a November 29th baby. I say "exactly" 9 months because I'm not counting the weeks and days - just felt that people knowing we're the same age was relevant and gave context to why I have no relationship with her. I don't know if she was premature. I never asked tbh and there are people saying they have similar gaps around them, so I have nothing to add.
Multiple people also asked if I hate HS and that I sound resentful for things she said as a child and for things her parents did. In my first post, I talked to someone in the comments and admitted that had this been a few years earlier, I may have helped HS without much thought. I know as children, she was just parroting her parents. I don't fault her for that nor do I blame her for BM abandoning me.
But it's been 17 years. We've been legal adults for 7 of those years. She could've reached out at any point, but didn't and said she had no sister. I also could've reached out at any point, but also didn't. I just moved on with my life - I was in therapy since I was abandoned and it took me years to move on from no one on that side actually wanting me.
Now she's making herself a problem. BM's mother aside, HS was sitting on my porch with a suitcase ready to force herself into my home and life. She allowed herself to be driven 6 hours to my home, sat on my porch for half an hour, and then lied to police all after I said no multiple times. She never claimed me until she needed something and now she's forcing herself into my life on the basis of being family.
I don't hate her, that's too much energy, but I do resent her now alongside her grandmother and the rest of her family. I was ignored for YEARS and now I feel unsafe in my own home just because HS and those around her can't take "no" for an answer. This isn't about BM's affair, this is about HS and her family ruining my safe space, my home, with their crap. The past is a factor in that resentment now because, again, I haven't spoken to her in 17 years, I didn't know what she looked like, but suddenly we're sisters because she needs someplace to stay. I definitely resent that.
Also, I feel validated in my choices - posting to Reddit, asking for and taking advice, listening to my dad. The attorney I spoke to pretty much said all the same things commenters have. Unblocking and muting to get and evidence of harassment. Calling the cops and showing them the messages because it proves there was no implied invitation. This is apparently the biggest thing I had to worry about because even letting HS stay on my porch could've worked against me.
Giving the cops the camera footage of HS and BM's mother looking for a spare key was also a good move. Even going about upgrading security, getting self-defense items, and asking the officers about self-defense recommendations and my wish to get a gun for protection works in my favor - it shows that even though this was HS's first offense, I don't feel safe and she's a major cause of that. And I don't.
So thank you again for all the advice. If they show up like they said, I'm gonna set off my security system and call the cops.
Edit (from a comment) It wasn't "active" [the TRO] when I posted the update because they hadn't been served yet. They were found at a hotel near my home and were served (a neighbor saw them and called the police). I was reporting the texts though. The TRO is on both HS and BM's mother.
Relevant Comments:
Man that side of your family sounds fucking insane! They ghost you for 17 years and then suddenly you matter to them now!? Like what the actual hell, they are seriously deranged. Especially your “grandmother” which I put in quotes because there’s no way she’s actually your grandmother (I want to give her an ass whooping just for treating you like this!) And they seriously think that they own you and can command you to do things like you’re their slave or something!
Document everything, ignore your stupid relatives because they’ll suffer, and keep 911 on speed dial if you can! I’m going to keep checking on you to see what’s going on but hang in there! Hopefully their dumb shenanigans will stop and they’ll be forced to leave you alone but unfortunately I doubt it honestly.
Just to keep on top of everything I’m using the update bot too because of how busy my Reddit feed is lol!
..
Sorry that this is happening, but love the swift and thorough action. My only advice would be to vigilantly check your mailbox, in case she changes her mail to your address to falsely claim residency. If you receive anything, send it back automatically indicating that no one with that name resides there. May want to double check with police/post office proactively.

OOP's Reply:
Thanks for the advice. I will now be doing that as well.

...
3rd Update - November 13, 2023 (3 days after Original Post)
Original Title: Concern cousin on HS
Was told my comment was deleted/hard to find, so I'm gonna make this post instead.
Was going through the first messages sent to me and found one of the many I muted without reading. This is from a cousin of HS.
Note - the order of info was edited to be better understood. A lot was blocks of text, so I tried to put it in order.
For clarity, the abbreviations are:
HS = half-sister
BM = biological mother
Rando = BM's current husband
GM = maternal grandmother
AP = HS's bio father
AP cut contact with HS when she was 20. She covered BM's affair with Rando. AP stopped paying her tuition and cut her off financially. HS's work history is non-existent She was kicked out by BM a month ago because she was sleeping with Rando and one of his sons. Said son turned 18 two months ago. HS came home to hers and Rando's things on the curb and all the locks changed.
Police weren't involved. The cousin doesn't know if BM told the boy's mother, but she did tell the entire family. Essentially said "protect you kids and marriage." HS claims she only slept with him on his birthday, but BM claims he was a minor when HS slept with him.
The family is adamant about getting her somewhere safe to stay long-term because HS is pregnant. No one likes her, but believe abandoning her is wrong due to her pregnancy. The cousin expresses doubt about the pregnancy. HS showed GM a positive pregnancy test, but no one else has been given any proof. HS has a history of lying.
HS couch-surfed with those that don't have kids. So far she's - "borrowed" someone's car without permission; taken expensive items to pawn; taken money meant for interview clothes and travel then blew it on expensive "mom and baby" outfits. When cops are involved, she lies and has gotten someone arrested by claiming SA when they tried to have her removed from their property.
The plot to get HS into my house was the idea of an uncle (one of GM's three sons). GM apparently brags/complains about me being young with no kids, a well-paid job, and a house I own. Essentially, this uncle said I had no responsibilities, disposable income, and plenty of room. Because no one wants to outright abandon HS, this was the "best plan."
The cousin - "don't give a inch not even a ride to a shelter. Someone tried and she caused a scene nearly got them arrested because she kept lying about the situation. Please read this I read your two posts stay safe."
Relevant Comments:
Honest worry about your holiday plans. I wouldn't leave your house/travel for Thanksgiving or Christmas, and be ready for her to make a scene on one of those days and try to get into the house if you have guests. Or porch pirate you stuff. Stay safe OP. We're rooting for you.

OOP's Reply:
Definitely preparing for that. I've read all of camper nomad's posts and the potential lengths HS and GM may go is scary af. My grandma (the real one) brought this up herself and suggested we just have it here. That way if they pop up around holidays, all of us are present and ready for the bs. Thank you

..
Well, HS is very much BM's daughter. How many affair partners has BM had? Warning others about her daughter where she seems to be as big a scumbag is rich.

Another User Adds:
Love that BM had affairs. HS covered for those affairs. Then had an affair with BMs husband.
She learnt from Mummy

A User Quips:
Jerry, Jerry, Jerry
..
Considered ONGOING - no way in hell OOP has heard the last of that shitty part of her family. Wishing her luck in the coming future.
I AM NOT OOP. DO NOT HARASS OOP.

For clarity to new people:
HS = maternal half-sister
BM = biological mother
BM's mother = maternal grandmother
RO = restraining order
TO = no trespassing order
TRO = temporary restraining order
I checked the camera footage last night/this morning. HS and BM's mother had been looking under mats, rocks, in potted plants, the mailbox, and checking the doors. Probably were looking for a spare - I don't keep one on my property and my dad, grandma, and grandpa have keys they keep with theirs. My uncle did an overhaul of mine and dad's cameras. We now have ones that send notifications to our phones when motion is detected. Also got ring doorbells for the front and back doors. There are other features and all the cameras are better hidden as well. I went to the police department while he was doing this and brought my grandpa with me.
HS was booked for trespassing, but not held very long since BM's mother picked her up from the station. They stuck to the lie of me offering HS a place to stay and gave statements. Not sure how that's going to go, but I'm taking steps to protect myself, my property, and my dad and his property.
HS doesn't have a record beyond this, so this was her first offense. I don't know how I feel about that tbh. It sounds awful, but I had hoped she would have at least one prior because commenters make it seem like that would make the outcome of a permanent RO and TO favorable. BM's mother DOES have a record though. Harassment, trespassing, and domestic violence. I shared this with the police as well.
Either way, I was able to get a temporary restraining order today, so there's that. I gave the camera footage to the police alongside copies of the texts (printed out and on USB), gave a statement, and they called a judge to get the TRO issued. I talked with them about other things like self-defense recommendations, overhauling my security system, getting a gun for protection, and so on. I was really anxious and just kept talking because it finally hit me that these people know where I live and they're willing to make the 6 hours to harass me and get inside my home.
The texts and voice-messages haven't stopped (I unblocked and muted). There are direct and indirect threats. BM's mother is adamant that since I have an entire house to myself, a stable job, and no children, I "will" be housing HS or she'd give me the @ss-whopping my dad should've.
HS has only left one voice-message about coming over later today and that she's staying with me because "that's what blood does, they help." When there was no response, she sent multiple texts telling me I need to be more understanding, that she's in a tough spot, and that she's moving in "for at least a week" until she's able to support herself (it's 7 days to gain tenancy here).
Additional clarification for people asking about the age gap. I'm a February 1st baby, HS is a November 29th baby. I say "exactly" 9 months because I'm not counting the weeks and days - just felt that people knowing we're the same age was relevant and gave context to why I have no relationship with her. I don't know if she was premature. I never asked tbh and there are people saying they have similar gaps around them, so I have nothing to add.
Multiple people also asked if I hate HS and that I sound resentful for things she said as a child and for things her parents did. In my first post, I talked to someone in the comments and admitted that had this been a few years earlier, I may have helped HS without much thought. I know as children, she was just parroting her parents. I don't fault her for that nor do I blame her for BM abandoning me.
But it's been 17 years. We've been legal adults for 7 of those years. She could've reached out at any point, but didn't and said she had no sister. I also could've reached out at any point, but also didn't. I just moved on with my life - I was in therapy since I was abandoned and it took me years to move on from no one on that side actually wanting me.
Now she's making herself a problem. BM's mother aside, HS was sitting on my porch with a suitcase ready to force herself into my home and life. She allowed herself to be driven 6 hours to my home, sat on my porch for half an hour, and then lied to police all after I said no multiple times. She never claimed me until she needed something and now she's forcing herself into my life on the basis of being family.
I don't hate her, that's too much energy, but I do resent her now alongside her grandmother and the rest of her family. I was ignored for YEARS and now I feel unsafe in my own home just because HS and those around her can't take "no" for an answer. This isn't about BM's affair, this is about HS and her family ruining my safe space, my home, with their crap. The past is a factor in that resentment now because, again, I haven't spoken to her in 17 years, I didn't know what she looked like, but suddenly we're sisters because she needs someplace to stay. I definitely resent that.
Also, I feel validated in my choices - posting to Reddit, asking for and taking advice, listening to my dad. The attorney I spoke to pretty much said all the same things commenters have. Unblocking and muting to get and evidence of harassment. Calling the cops and showing them the messages because it proves there was no implied invitation. This is apparently the biggest thing I had to worry about because even letting HS stay on my porch could've worked against me.
Giving the cops the camera footage of HS and BM's mother looking for a spare key was also a good move. Even going about upgrading security, getting self-defense items, and asking the officers about self-defense recommendations and my wish to get a gun for protection works in my favor - it shows that even though this was HS's first offense, I don't feel safe and she's a major cause of that. And I don't.
So thank you again for all the advice. If they show up like they said, I'm gonna set off my security system and call the cops.
Edit (from a comment) It wasn't "active" [the TRO] when I posted the update because they hadn't been served yet. They were found at a hotel near my home and were served (a neighbor saw them and called the police). I was reporting the texts though. The TRO is on both HS and BM's mother.
https://www.reddit.com/EntitledPeople/s/cKynt3xB2G Now know why they're doing this

Hello. This is my favorite deck that I have thrown together on Arena, and I wanted to share.
Archidekt deck list
It's not like, optimized or anything - I used up nearly all my wildcards to get it to this point, a couple weeks ago :( - however, that is part of why the main goal of the deck is fun.
The idea is to play nearly as much of the your opponent's deck as you do your own, by using some combination of Expensive Taste (Decadent Dragon's adventure), Etali, Plargg and Nassari, Breach the Multiverse, Korvold and the Noble Thief, Nashi, and even sometimes Virtue of Persistence. A bunch of treasure generation will help you ramp to your big spells and fix for your opponent's spells (when you don't steal and play their lands, anyway).
Why? Because it's funny to beat people with their own stuff. And it means I don't have to grind for and spend alllllll the wildcards to play with the cards they have, whether it's threats or answers. And cos beatdown with Etali and dragons is pretty fun regardless.
Mostly, though, because what I love most in this game is when I end up in unfamiliar situations with some meaningful decisions to make about how to proceed, which naturally this deck provides (or, perhaps, my opponent's deck provides... kinda).
Other thoughts:

• Charming Scoundrel is so good. To the point I drift towards including red in any deck where I want to ramp towards or fix for something big or janky.
• I crafted Sticky Fingers and Beamtown Beatstick for this deck, not knowing which would work better. I really like them both. Usually one or the other will put in work, depending on the situation.
• Nashi ain't really much good in this deck because you probably don't have many attackers, unblocked or not, on turn 3 or 4; even if so, Expensive Taste is often a better turn 3 play and Atsushi or the Dragon is probably better turn 4; it's not a great hit from Etali, Plaarg, Breach etc; and paying life can be pretty dangerous. Still, I crafted the little bugger for this deck and it's on theme and still fun when it works so it stays for now.
• Similarly Plaarg is obviously a tier below Etali or just stealing and casting their stuff with Expensive Taste or Korvold, and it has to stick for a turn to work which is not good, buuuuuuuut - last game my opponent had to choose between my Etali and their Phyrexian Vindicator, and that's 200% worth it. (They chose Etali, probably cos they were buffing the crap out of a single Fairgrounds Trumpeter, so Vindicator would have been maybe the best possible blocker. Didn't help them much in the end hahahahahahahah) (it's funny because I used The End on it)
• Atsushi is there for ramp but also is either a threat they don't want to kill, or a target for their exile based removal, either of which is fine by me.
• There's a small removal suite to hopefully deal with their board before you establish yours. Brotherhoods End to go wide, The End is obviously really good if there's something you don't want to see them play any more of (though of course that means you can't either). Blot Out avoids protection and handles likely their most important threat. Virtue of Persistence Adventure helps a lot too.
• Gix's Command is really versatile as removal and/or recursion (or life-gain in a pinch). Lich Knight's Conquest is there... because I don't have all the cards I might want, lol. But it's turned out to be a decent hit; between treasures, Sticky Fingers or Beatstick if you must, and Hopeless Nightmare - let alone anything you might get from your opponent - it's usually bringing back at least one thing. It's back-breaking to bring back an Etali, let alone if you can bring back two or more things.
• On that note Hopeless Nightmare is a surprisingly good card. Early play if you want, better when they're down a few cards which means it's not a terrible hit off Etali etc, scrys if you desperately need to do something but also when you sac it to Lich Knight's, possibly puts interesting things in their graveyard for Breach or Virtue... and it is on theme. I don't want them to play their cards, I want just me to play them.

I certainly have some ideas to improve it - eg the red Capenna dude that makes treasure whenever any creature of yours deals combat damage, maybe clean up the removal, another Breach, better lands of course - but it works well as is and win or lose, it creates some mad games where half my board is theirs, and they're removing their threats with their own answers while I do the same.