Missing someone who has passed quotes

My car's transmission is on the fritz, so it's in the shop and I'm working from home for at least today. Thank goodness I can even work from home, or things would be a lot more complicated. Anyways, that's just a bit of a vent. I've also decided that I might do little lore-esque prechapter bits for some extra flavor. Hope you guys enjoy them! I find them to be fun little thought experiments on how people might perceive the world I've created from within vs from my own perspective. Enjoy some crafting and some romance!
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We know that the spots that are caused by looking at a source of light are, in fact, damage of some sort to the eye. This is confirmed by the spots rapidly disappearing should someone be healed whilst experiencing them. But why? Is there a divinity within light, beyond what our mortal eyes can withstand? Is there some sort of invisible emanation that comes alongside the light that damages us in some way? The discovery of light damaging the eye has opened more questions for me than it has closed.
-Musings on the Relations of Light and Fire, by Jarwic Leftun
\***
Xander carefully opened the door, finding Gabrelle already asleep, and sat down on a chair. Maybe he could get that adaptive camouflage to work right on bright colors. Surely he had some colorful things in his inventory.
He did in fact have a few colorful things in his inventory, and he whiled the rest of the night away making small adjustments to the runic array that was embroidered into the cloth. He was satisfied before dawn, the cloth now performing as well with light colors as it had with darker colors. Now he just needed to make a cloak out of it. He briefly considered coating his armor with the array, but discarded it. There might be times where he’d want to be seen. Besides, a hooded cloak would better break up the outline of his figure, the ripples of fabric, especially if he were to crouch or lay prone, obscuring his outline even more. In little time at all, he had a long, deep hooded cloak of the color shifting, runed cloth in his hands. He stashed it in his inventory for now, as he had no particular need to sneak up on something right now. The rest of the time before dawn he spent silently sitting in the chair he’d chosen, trying to keep his thoughts to a minimum, just daydreaming. Night dreaming? He couldn’t sleep anymore, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t try to let his mind wander.
As the dawn came and the sun began to shine through the window of the room, Gabrelle slowly awoke, once more finding Xander sitting in a chair rather than in bed.
“Mmf,” She grunted as she stretched. “Morning, Xander. You got back late.”
“Morning, yourself,” Xander said, turning his head to look at Gabrelle. “Yeah... Yeah, I guess I did.”
“What were you doing, anyway?” She asked, curious. “You didn’t mention that you’d be out late, just that you were going to go to see Valteria at her shop.”
“I uh... went on a date.”
“I knew it! ‘Comparing notes’ was a date!” Gabrelle exclaimed triumphantly.
“It was not!” Xander complained. “But we went to a tavern in the evening and it sort of... turned into a date on the way there.”
“Awhh, that’s so cute,” Gabrelle said. “Did it go well? Is she nice? Did you kiss?”
“I think it went well. We talked a lot about different projects and ideas we had. I also got to meet another [Godsmarked] - he owns the tavern we went to. I think she’s nice. Maybe a little shy. I think she’s gotten used to being treated differently by people. I don’t think she really believed that I wanted to go on a date with her, at first. ...And yes. We kissed.”
“Ooooh, look at you! You’re growing up so fast!” Gabrelle teased.
“Oh hush. I’m older than you!” Xander huffed, then returned to seriousness. “But ah, if I’m going to be dating someone... we need to have a conversation, Gabrelle.”
“We need to stop sleeping together?” Gabrelle quickly deduced before Xander could say it himself.
“Yeah... It doesn’t feel right, even though it’s just platonic between us. I don’t think I would appreciate being in Valteria’s situation and knowing that the person I was seeing was sleeping with someone else at night.”
“Well, I figured this would happen eventually,” Gabrelle said. “Either you or I were bound to find someone eventually. Don’t worry, I’m not upset. Don’t get me wrong, the snuggles were nice, but like I told you a while ago, I don’t have nearly as much trouble sleeping when I’m with the team.”
“Thanks for not being upset, Gabrelle.”
“You know this means you have to start paying for your own room, though, right?”
“Ah, shit, you’re right. I forgot.”
Xander left the room to allow Gabrelle some privacy to get dressed and meandered back down the stairs to see if any other members of the team were already up. Looking around, he spied Graffus eating breakfast at at table and moved to sit with the dwarf.
“Mornin’” Graffus greeted Xander through a mouthful of bread.
“Morning,” Xander greeted back.
“Glad to see you made it back, we were wondering if you’d be out all night,” Graffus told him, after swallowing his bread.
“I was out a bit late, I suppose. I let the time get away from me.” Xander said, not really wanted to be teased again about going out on a date. “So what are you planning to do today?”
“Bah, Frazay has roped me into helping her do research for the drakeling. So reading is what’s in store for me.” Graffus tore himself off another piece of bread from his plate and slathered it with jam. “You going to be going back to that [Tinker] you’ve been spending time with lately?”
“Yeah, that’s the plan. I’m supposed to learn more about converting mana types today, and also help her fix the suit of armor that I wrecked.”
“Welp,” Graffus said, now on his last piece of bread, “I hope ya learn something new. Never had much to do with [Tinker]s – not saying I dislike them, just that I haven’t had much experience with them – so it don’t make much sense to me. Using a hammer is about the only overlap in our professions.”
“I think your hammer is significantly larger than the one most [Tinker]s would use,” Xander chuckled. Thinking about what he should be doing before he headed to Valteria’s, he asked Graffus, “Hey, I might need to buy some monster parts or elemental cores, something like that, for practice. You know where I would go to find stuff like that?”
Graffus shrugged. “Dunno. My guess would be an alchemy and reagents shop. That’s generally what we’ve sold monster parts to that didn’t go to a smith or leatherworker.”
“Thanks, Graffus.”
The two of them chatted for a while longer, catching up on what each other had been doing. Graffus excused himself to finish getting ready for the day, saying he needed to tend to his beard, leaving Xander downstairs. Deciding to be productive and proactive, Xander stood as well and headed out of the inn to find an alchemy shop.
It wasn’t long before he found one, a familiar scene of an eclectic collection of powders, liquids, crystals, and strange organic things floating in jars inside the building. The proprietor was a dwarf, seated at a workbench. They were grinding something into a powder as Xander entered. He received a distracted greeting before the dwarf returned to his work.
Xander wandered about the shop for a few minutes, looking at the various materials throughout the shop. He identified what he thought might be an elemental core, a jagged piece of crystal looking material that seemed to have an inner flame. As for the monster parts in jars, Xander had no idea what was what. He finally felt he’d waited long enough and moved closer to the worktable that the dwarf was still sitting at, working away at the mortar and pestle.
“Excuse me,” Xander said, grabbing the shopkeep’s attention.
“Mm?” The dwarf said questioningly. “Can I help you find something?”
“I was wondering if you had any elemental cores. Something small, I just need one to practice with.”
“Aye, I’ve a few of them around the shop. You want something to practice with? So a relatively weak core, then – not all the small ones are weak. Do you need any particular type?” The dwarf stood up and stretched, moving to one of the shelves.
“Uhm no, just whatever is cost effective, I suppose.”
The alchemist rifled through the various bits and bobs on one of the shelves nearby before producing a small chip of what looked to be a semi-translucent stone. It was tinged slightly yellow with streaks of white. “This here is a chip off a lightning attuned core. Pretty weak, but it does still produce mana.”
Xander could see the dwarf’s arm hair standing up as if from static electicity as he held up the stone. “How much?” He asked.
“Twenty gold.”
Xander shrugged. Twenty gold wasn’t an issue for him anymore, and he didn’t feel like haggling. He always hated haggling. “Sure.” He fished out the coin and handed it over to the dwarf.
The dwarf handed over the stone to Xander and the pop of a static electric shock could be heard as a tiny arc passed between the two of them. The dwarf grunted and shook his hand. “Thanks for the business,” he told Xander. “Anything else you find yourself in need of?”
“Not at the moment, but thanks for asking.” Xander waved goodbye to the dwarf and pocketed the tiny elemental core. He continued down the street in the direction of Valteria’s shop, thinking about how he was going to undo the welding job he’d done on Valteria’s armor. He’d need her to guide his repair efforts.
Xander returned to the inn momentarily to grab one of his golems. He settled on Atlas for now, as it was the most basic of the humanoid forms he’d created. No extra arms or weird feet on him, no sir.
Arriving at the building that contained Valteria’s home and shop, Xander knocked before opening the door. “Morning,” he called out.
“Xander! Hello!” Valteria called out. She was at the same work bench she’d been at yesterday. Jarrett didn’t seem to be in the shop at the moment, as Xander wasn’t able to spot the man.
Commanding Atlas to follow him in and closing the door behind him, Xander started walking towards Valteria. “How’s it going?” He asked.
“Good, it’s going good,” Valteria responded as Xander brought a stool over to her workbench. “How about yourself?”
“Not bad. The upside of not sleeping is that I never struggle in the mornings now. I used to hate waking up.” Xander laughed. “I even ran an errand before I came here! Picked up this.” Xander fished around in his pocket until he found the small chip of elemental core and held it up for Valteria to see.
“Core?” She asked distractedly, staring at Atlas. She tore her eyes away and looked closely at the small crystalline stone. “Lightning attuned?”
“That’s what the [Alchemist] at the shop said,” Xander affirmed. “Said it was a very weak one, but that it did still produce mana.”
“Mmm, a good practice piece, then.”
“I thought it would be, too. Not that I know what to do with it, yet.”
“Well, how about this: I teach you to set the stone and make some conduit, and then you can help me fix my armor. All the glue has turned to dust by now, thank the gods.”
“Sounds fair enough. So, how do mana conduits work?”
“Well, the concept is simple enough. It’s a tube which conducts mana,” Valteria began to explain.
“Mmhm.” Xander nodded along.
“What you need is a setting – usually of silver, as it has good mana conductivity – which will be the first step of conduction, taking the mana from the stone. Simply wrapping the core in silver wire can work well enough, drawing in the mana that the core puts out through its surface, but for a more effecient setting, small holes are usually drilled into the core to set the wire into as well, giving more surface area to draw from.”
“So we care about the mana conductivity of the material, then? That makes sense, I just hadn’t thought about it. I actually did a little experiment with my rune work to test which fillings were the most conductive.”
“Oh really?” Valteria said, interested. “What were your results?”
“Well, gold and silver were high up there in conductivity, and probably make the most sense for someone who has to physically manipulate material without use of a skill – both for a core setting and for inlaying a rune – but I did find that sapphires and rubies were even more efficient at transferring mana than gold and silver.”
“Mmm... interesting. I’ve heard of gemstones being used in very high-grade settings, as well as various other exotic materials. I read an account of one [Mechanist] who used tubes of mercury to conduct mana, though the relative effectiveness compared to silver wasn’t mentioned.” Valteria cleared her throat. “Uhm, now, where was I? Right, basic settings. Once you have your core – or monster organ, if you’re going that route – you connect it to the conduit. Usually, this is also silver wiring. I like to braid several smaller wires together, personally. I find it to be sturdier and hold up to flexing better. From there, it needs to be tied into a device. Which is a topic for tomorrow.” Looking around the shop, Valteria seemed to identify something on one of the shelves nearby. “I have a core that you could watch me set, and then you could try setting your own, if you’d like.”
“That sounds good to me,” Xander said. “I always love to see a master as work,” he added, opting for a little flattery.
“Follow me, then.” Valteria said, standing up from her stool and waving for Xander to follow.
Xander followed Valteria as she walked over to the shelf she’d been looking at earlier and took a palm sized, bright green stone from it. “Nature attuned core,” She explained, holding it for Xander to see. “I’m told it was taken from some kind of moving tree.” Valteria then moved to another worktable, on which were several of what looked to be drill bits to Xander. There was also an apparatus that look like it was designed to hold the bits, which was confirmed for him when Valteria slotted one of the small drill heads into the device. “This thing,” Valteria said, waving the drill a little bit, “is a life saver. I used to have to drill holes with a hand cranked one. Worth every single coin I paid for it to get an enchanted one.” She turned a dial on one side of the handheld device, which Xander was coming to think of as a magic dremel tool, and it began to come to life, the drill bit beginning to spin with a quiet whirring sound.
“Neat.” Xander commented. He watched patiently as Valteria drilled a series of shallow holes in the stone, the distinct screeching of metal on stone echoing through the shop floor. “So where’s Jarrett today?” He asked.
“Oh, he has the day off today. He asked for it about a week ago, not sure what for, though,” Valteria said distractedly. Soon she was finished with the holes she was drilling into the core, and moved to another workbench. “Now we create a setting for the core. This is a fairly simple way of doing it, mind you, but it is effective.”
Xander watched as she took sections of pre-braided silver wire and fitted the ends into the holes she had drilled. Once each hole was filled with a section of wire, Valteria began to pull wire from a spool, wrapping the stone until it was completely covered with silver wire and binding the braided sections to the stone in the process. “There,” she said, setting the stone down on the workbench. “A perfectly serviceable setting."
“So, if I understand correctly, you coat the core in a mana conductive material – the more surface area, the better, hence the holes – to create a setting?”
“Mmhmm,” Valteria said, nodding.
“Seems fairly straighforward. And then you connect the silver wiring that’s wrapped around it to more wiring, and attach that to your device? Why the distance? Why not just connect the setting directly to the device?”
“You absolutely can, if space isn’t an issue. Technically, the connection between the mana battery and the device, even if it’s just a single point with no distance, is still referred to as a conduit, though, so it’s considered a three part creation.”
“Oh, I see.”
“Do you want to try making your own, now? I don’t mind lending you a little wire.”
“Sure, but I should be good on material, I can produce it with my skills. Doesn’t last without a source of mana, but I guess the core itself might provide enough. Think this little chip is a bit small to put holes in, though.”
Xander looked at the small piece of crystal in his hand. If he just need as much contact as possible with a mana conductive material, his best bet would be to embed it into a sapphire or ruby. He decided on ruby, for no particular reason. Still holding the chip of core in his hand, he concentrated on his [Creation] ability. Valteria watched, amazed, as a ruby began to take form and grow around the piece of core until it was completely coated in a thin layer of gemstone.
“So, you can just... make things?” Valteria asked, sounding jealous.
“Well, it costs mana, and anything I make that isn’t provided a source of mana that leaves my person disintegrates in a day, but, yes. I can just make things with my skills. But,” he added, cutting off Valteria’s complaint of unfairness, “I have never received a skill that actually lets me improve a material. Sure, I have runes, which generally makes up the difference, but I don’t have any skills that improve the things I make. So, if you made a mana battery, and I made a mana battery the same way with identical materials, yours is going to be better, I assume, because you have skills that passively improve the things that you make, am I right?”
“Okayyy,” Valteria huffed. “I guess that does make it a little less unfair. But ugh! It would be so nice not having to source materials.” She looked at the ruby with a piece of core set inside it that Xander had made. “Well, I guess that about does it for making a setting... I thought it might have taken you longer to make one. I guess we can move on to fixing my armor even sooner! It’ll be nice to have it up and moving again.”
“Sure, sure, we can do that. Where is it, anyway?” Xander asked, looking around the shop again like he somehow would have missed the eight foot tall suit of armor.
“It’s in a shed behind the house,” Valteria explained. “I have it on a hoist so I can work on it.”
“Ah, that would explain why I haven’t seen it around.”
Exiting the shop, stopping for Valteria to put a small ‘closed’ sign on the door, the two of them made their way around the building, where Xander saw the small shed that presumably held Valteria’s armor. It looked like it could just barely hold the armor and one person – two, if they were comfortable with each other – inside it.
“So this is where the magic happens?” Xander asked.
“If by ‘magic’ you mean maintenance and upgrades, then yes,” Valteria agreed. She opened the door of the shed, which comprised most of the front of the tiny little building, revealing her suit of armor, which was currently hanging from several chains attached to pulleys on the ceiling. Plates of armor were laying strewn about the suite, leaving the joints and inner workings more exposed.
Xander whistled, looking at the inner workings of the suit. He could see gears, cogs, and joints, and throughout the entirety of the armor were running filaments of silver wire, which he assumed were mana conduits running to and from elemental cores and the various mana powered aspects of the suit. “This thing really is impressive. Almost as impressive as the woman who made it,” he said.
Valteria giggled, “Stop it! You’re supposed to be fixing this mess, not flirting with me!”
“Awh, can’t I do both?” Xander asked, trying to sound as saccharine as possible.
“Mmm, I suppose that if you are sufficiently skilled at multitasking, I might allow it,” Valteria said in a mockingly thoughtful tone.
“Well, I just so happen to be an expert, so flirt away I shall,” Xander replied. “Now, how about the beauty in front of me shows me exactly where the other beauty in front of me needs some repairs?”
Valteria sighed at Xander’s antics, but he could see the slight flush in her face. “Well, you welded the wrist joints, elbows, and knees. They aren’t welded all the way round, it’s more like you smoothed over a portion of it like it was wet clay. So if you could just... put it back? Shape it back to how it was, that’s should be all that’s needed.”
“Pretty straightforward,” Xander said, standing behind Valteria as she pointed out each joint. He could see the misshapen parts where he’d slapped a weld onto the metal. He leaned over her and put his hands on the elbow joint that they were closest to and began to shape the metal back to its original form.
“You’re... very close,” Valteria murmured to him as he formed the metal.
“Would you like me not to be?” He asked, carefully.
Valteria was silent for a moment before answering, “No...” quietly.
Xander carefully shifted to be a little closer, but still not quite touching, as he moved on to the wrist joint of the same arm. The process itself was simple, but he was enjoying taking his time. As he finished the wrist, he turned to look at Valteria. He found himself looking right into her eyes, as she was staring back at him. Unable to resist the temptation he leaned in a little closer, gauging Valteria’s reaction. When she, too, leaned towards him, he closed the small gap between them, drawing her into another kiss. Valteria pressed herself against him, the shed hiding them from any prying eyes on the street, and let out a small noise as Xander squeezed her tight. She was breathing a little bit harder than before the kiss as they separated again.
Valteria let out a breath. “You’re… a really good kisser.”
“Yeah?” Xander said, pleased with himself. “You’re not so bad yourself.”
“And you’re a tease, looming over me like that in this tiny little shed,” Valteria continued. “Now you’ve got me all flustered, how am I supposed to work now?” She mock complained.
Xander was glad to see that Valteria was comfortable enough with him to joke like that. “Forgive me,” he said formally, making a deep bow, “How ever can I make it up to the lady?”
“Oh stop it, I will tolerate no bowing and scraping, even in jest,” Valteria said, slapping him lightly on the shoulder, as he was still holding the bow. “You can make it up to me by fixing the rest of these joints! And by taking me out to dinner?” She added, hopefully.
“I think that can be arranged,” Xander said. “Is there anywhere you have in mind? I will admit, I haven’t become very familiar with the local restaurant scene, what with my… dietary restrictions.”
“It doesn’t… make you feel bad to go out to a restaurant, does it?” Valteria asked softly, watching his face for a reaction.
“Nah, don’t worry,” Xander said, waving off the question with one hand. “It doesn’t bother me too much. Sure, I miss the taste of a good cut of steak, but I was never that into food. Eating was more of a thing I did because I had to, so I’m not completely devastated by the loss. And I can still get some vicarious enjoyment out of watching someone else enjoy their food. Really the worst part is awkwardly having to refuse ordering anything,” he said with a laugh.
“Alright, if you say so,” Valteria said, letting out a slight breath of relief. “I was just worried that it might be upsetting to you, is all. I know I would miss eating.” She paused for a moment, something clearly on her mind. “What do you miss? If you don’t mind my asking. I just… well, I’m curious what it’s like for you.”
“Mmm, in a lot of ways, life is still the same, and in other ways, I’m technically doing better than I was before. I’m incredibly resistant to damage now, even without my armor. I do miss sleeping, though. I try to give my mind a rest and just sort of daydream and let my thoughts wander or do some meditation during the nights, but it’s just not the same. Also means I’m the one that pulls guard duty through the night,” he grumbled. “Let’s see, what else, what else. Ah, right. I can’t smell anything. Or taste. I haven’t worked out how to recreate those senses, yet. Though no sense of smell can be handy sometimes, I suppose. I don’t know if you’ve done much merc work – you mentioned being surprised that I’m not just moonlighting – but uh… the smells that you encounter on a battlefield are… unpleasant. To say the least. It was weird not having a sense of touch either, but I’ve resolved that. It’s a little bit different than my previous, natural sense of touch, but I’ve become accustomed to it to the point that I don’t much think about the difference anymore. I think I’ve even got the density of receptors down in certain areas compared to others, so I'm more sensitive in some areas than others now, just like I used to be. I’m still immune to being tickled though, so don’t even think about it – that’s a fight you’ll lose.” Growing a bit more somber, Xander continued on. “I think… the biggest thing I miss is just the feeling that I fit in more. Now I always worry about being different, there’s that nagging fear that anyone I get to know well is going to reject me once they find out what I am. Like I’m secretly lying to everyone around me with this façade I have going on.”
Valteria nodded sadly. “I get that. I’ve been… rejected before, too. At least it happens or not right from the beginning for me. I get to know if they look down on me for being different immediately instead of fearing they might later down the road.”
“Yeah,” Xander said. “People can really suck sometimes. But at least I can just, like, not tell people what I am if I so chose. You, my teammates, and the guild, since it’s on my status sheet, are really the only people who know. I keep it pretty private. You can’t do that, so I think you probably have to deal with a lot worse than I do. Not that I’d want you to hide what or who you are,” he added. “I happen to be quite enamored with who you are,” he said, teasing a smile from Valteria’s sad face.
“Sorry to bring up such a dour topic,” Valteria apologized. “I didn’t think much on it before I asked.”
“No worries,” Xander told her. “Honestly, I think it’s good to be able to talk about it with someone. It’s healthy to be able to get you feelings out there. And it helps that I feel like you understand where I’m coming from with it, though from a slightly different perspective.”
“You’re surprisingly thoughtful sometimes,” Valteria said, only half teasing.
“Only sometimes?” Xander asked with a faux expression of hurt on his face. “By the way, you didn’t react much to my comment about moonlighting as a merc. Do you ever go on contracts?”
Valteria shrugged. “I certainly wouldn’t describe myself as a professional mercenary. Moonlighter is an apt descriptor, for me, I think. I have gone on a couple, here and there, mostly on kill contracts that would net me a core or organ that would be useful for my work.”
“Mm, that makes sense. I suppose it could be handy having access to the ability to take contracts that would give you access to specialty materials,” Xander said.
“It’s also good for business,” Valteria explained. “Mercs tend to like to buy from someone who has at least been out on a contract or two before.”
“Ah, that makes sense. What kind of things do you sell to mercenaries, anyways? I saw Jarrett with a crossbow yesterday, but I imagine you make other things, too.”
“Oh all kinds of little things. Portable, flameless heaters for cooking. Water purification sieves. Mm, let’s see… I’ve made a few custom order devices, too. One customer wanted to be able to shoot a jet of flame from their gauntlet, that was a fun one.”
“Ooh, that does sound fun… reminds me of my flamethrower.”
“Your flamethrower?”
“Yeah, it’s basically a big tank with a hose attached to it. At the end of the hose is a pump that causes the flammable liquid – I use dragon’s tar – to shoot out. Add a flame that the tar passes over and bam! You’ve got a giant stream of flame that will coat anything it hits with sticky, flammable tar,” Xander said, excitedly describing the device.
“That’s… impressive. And kind of horrifying,” Valteria responded.
“Mm… I guess you’re right. I mostly use it on giant spiders. Blugh,” Xander shuddered. “But yeah, I suppose it’s not the nicest of ways to go. Very effective for area denial, though. Ah, actually I have an idea for crossbow bolt head that would ignite when it shatters! We should make that sometime and see if it sells.”
“Hmm, I think that would draw some buyers. A flaming bolt head you didn’t have to light first could be desirable to certain buyers.”
“Put that on the list and we’ll get around to it sometime.”
“We have a list?” Valteria said confusedly.
“We should!” Xander said with a laugh. “Now let’s get the rest of these joints done.”
The repair of the other arm and the leg joints that Xander had locked into position during the tournament was a short affair. Looking over the bare metal frame of the armor still hanging from the ceiling, Xander clapped his hands together, mimicking dusting them off. “Good as new!” He exclaimed. Looking over to Valteria he asked concernedly, “It is good as new, right?”
Valteria had been staring at the armor as well, lost in thought about how she was going to improve it next. “Hmm? Oh, yes. It’s right as rain again, ready for use. Thank you, by the way. For fixing it,” She said awkwardly.
“Well I’m the one who broke it, so it’s only fair that I fix it. So what do you want to work on next?” Xander asked. “I could do some rune work for you. Orrr… we could kiss some more?”
Valteria flushed at the question, but didn’t immediately say no.
A few minutes later, she found herself on her tip toes and lightly pressed against the interior wall of the shed, her lips pressed against Xanders.
Once the two of them were done acting like teenagers parked in a secluded parking lot, they made their way back into the shop. Stepping inside and closing the door behind them, Valteria let out a breath. “I think… you are going to have to do a lot of rune work to make up for how much you just kissed me, Xander.”
“What, you didn’t like it?” He said with a raised eyebrow.
“I didn’t say that,” Valteria said with a smirk.

Earlier this month I was going to miss a meeting with my work coach and so I messaged them about it and asked for a new meeting to be scheduled. They thanked me for letting them know then didn't get back to me for 2 weeks, at which point I was sanctioned for 2/3rds of my claim for not showing up to a meeting and not getting in contact. I defended my position through their messaging system during which time I was passed from person to person who all seemed to have the impression that I never asked for a reschedule until I point out that I did, at which point they seem surprised then pawn me off on someone else.
I wouldn't mind the 1 day sanction, after all I did miss a meeting, but I have to pay for transport to the vocation course I'm on, pay for Internet for my online degree, and pay for transport to the volunteer position I hold. The 2 week sanction is too great for me to continue doing the things I need to do. Given that the universal credit people seem to have no way of helping me with my issue (or are at the very least unwilling to), who would be the appropriate authority to report something like this to (if such an authority exists)?

Apparently enough time has passed since telling our bishop that we no longer believe in the church. We got a knock at the door and it was the elders. They immediately asked if I was Brother Adams (meaning they were sent to us by someone in the ward). I said I was and invited them in.
They essentially shared their latest member message that they recycle through everyone. It was about making the home a spiritual safe haven for our family. They kept asking what we can do daily, weekly, monthly etc to make our home a temple.
We kept skirting around the questions and saying secular things that we're trying to implement in our family. Rituals like eating dinner together without phones, going up the canyon once a week for "FHE" and things like that.
Finally, they pushed so hard and so many times to get a church answer that I said, "Look guys, we don't believe in God anymore so the things we're talking about are all going to be secular spirituality." You should have seen their eyes widen like deer in headlights. Poor guys haha.
I know I was annoying as a missionary but I still feel like I could read the room. These guys could not be swayed from their talk track no matter how many times we gently suggested we weren't going to give church answers.
I feel like missionaries are equipped to deal with investigators and with people who are not going to church because they don't feel like it. I don't think the church equips missionaries very well to deal with people who know all the garbage and made a conscious choice to leave and/or remove their records.

A couple of years ago I tried writing my own version of Stones Abbigale. I never got past the first couple scenes, but I'm considering returning to it. I wanted to basically rewrite and change up a lot of things, mainly focusing on Abbi and Davis and changing some elements. Let me know what you think!

1
It's almost four in the morning and Seth is threatening suicide again. Good. Fuck him. I hope he does it. I don't text him that because I read about this girl who told her boyfriend to kill himself. The irony was that when he actually did it she got charged with second degree murder. My life is fucked as it is I don't need to make it worse. It's almost two in the morning and I have to be up for school in a few hours. I’m shivering under my comforter because we’re halfway through November. I think about the turkey that won't get made this year and the family I won't see. I think that's swell. Seth is still texting.
Its like u dont even care after everything that happened and after everything we did together i saved ur life and i stayed with u when u cried and i hugged u and i did everything for u but that wasn't enough was it? i try so hard and all u ever are is a bitch to me that's not fair u want me to die and u hate me and u dont even care and im sick of it abbi why is is so hard for u to care about me?
I don't respond. I don't like how I feel about this. This should be easy. He won't actually do it. He won't. He’s too self involved to kill himself. I put my phone face down on my bed. The sheets shake around it as he sends message after message. I was sleeping on a ticking bomb so I got off of it. My feet stick to the floor, I struggle to step. I might as well have been standing barefoot on ice. I trudge to my window so I can see my street at night. Winter is really coming. You can't hear as many birds as you used to. They've all gone. They've all flown away. I can see three streetlights from where I’m standing. If you can from right to left you can see the concrete fracture into the sand. I open my window and brace for the chill. I stick my head outside. The ocean is not far away. I hear it hitting the shore over and over. Waves of water splashing incessantly, almost beating out my text notifications. The street lights flicker. I think of last summer. When Seth and I got really high after the news broke that my Mom was cheating on my Dad. I was making out with that bong. Emptying bowl after bowl, clanking the glass on the road to empty it out. Just thinking about it makes me feel the street pole against my back again. I was laughing and crying. Seth leaned in and hugged me. “I’m a sure thing,” he said. “I love you and I always will.” I caught my reflection in his sunglasses. I looked awful. I shiver at the memory. My phone is still buzzing. I try to catch my breath. I shut my window and start to walk back to my bed. A room always looks different in the dark. Maybe you think you know where you are, but there is always something that can jump out at you on the floor. Like a ghostly paper bag or a vengeful shoe. Objects that seem to move on their own with the sole drive of tripping you. I crawl back into bed. There's the phantom of Dad’s snoring . I know he's not sleeping in his room, he fell asleep on the couch after finishing his seventh fifth. Sometimes my brain fills in the gaps so I can hear it everywhere. Funnily, I haven't actually heard him snore since Mom left. That's the one thing I ever heard them fight about. Before she turned out to be a whore, I guess. BZZT.BZZT.BZZT. I can't bring myself to read any of his messages. They're coming so fast all the paragraphs are lost to motion blur. Seth’s arms wrap around me and I think about the beating of his heart and the warmth of his lips against my skin. I open up the texts, ready to respond.
I love you
I text this over and over until I fall asleep.
Davis was the only senior on the bus. Somehow, everyone else had a car or a ride. It’s all right, though. James would probably give him one if he had a car, but he skated to school every morning. That's why he barely ever rode the bus with him. The bus thumped along the under paved roads. Davis forgot his earbuds at home, so the only music that accompanied him was his racing thoughts. Two sophomore girls popped their heads over. “Ohmigod, Davis!” One of them shrieked.. “As I live and breathe,” he smiled. “Nice,” she said. “I’m so excited to see your finished painting.” Davis took the lower level art class for a requirement. Like most things, he's not taking it very seriously. For their pop art unit, he's painting a portrait of the art teacher with a warthog face. It's one of his funny disruptions. He knows Mrs. Stanley is going to have a real field day with it, but it doesn't matter. Artistic liberties, he’d profess. “She's such a bitch, isn't she?” The sophomore girl turns to her compatriot, who only nods in response. “She's just jealous,” Davis says. “It must be depressing to teach art and see the youth soar above her.” “For sure,” the girl doesn't get it. Class clown is a semi-heavy burden. Davis doesn't really feel like talking to these girls, but his position demands it. Comedy informs everything about him. To the giant thrift store jeans, to the loud Hawaiian shirt. He and James are the ultimate combination, at least he likes to think so. Quiet brooding begs for bright distraction. The girl is still trying to talk to him and Davis is saying his preprogrammed lines. The bus stops in front of James’s street. Surprisingly, James is standing there. “Like I’m this close to just filling my hydroflask with vodka, yaknow?” says the chick. Maybe she's just trying to get a rise out of him. “Better be prepared to give me more than a sip,” Davis is watching James grumble towards the bus. The sun is beating down on the forming ice puddles. James stomps through them with small shattering steps. James turns up the bus aisle and plops in the seat next to Davis. Davis’s smile is genuine now, but he fights it from getting too wide. “Crash your vehicle?” Davis asks. “Something like it,” there's something off with him. Davis doesn't want to push it. “Well damn, hope insurance covers it,” Davis wants James to break and laugh. Is it just another mood or did something actually happen this time? “It won't, I got bad credit,” James grins and it's like heaven. “What's the move for you today?” “Surviving art and physics for me,” says Davis. “Those bastards love to keep me down.” “Who doesn't,” James eyes the girls who have since returned to whatever they were doing before. It's the judgement stare, as Davis calls it. James likes to observe his peers like a zoo-goer. Breaking them down to taxonomic types. Davis likes to think that James doesn't do this to him, but he knows he probably does. “It sucks you decided to be bad at school and take baby art,” James is still dissecting the sophomore girls down to their tropes. “We could have done Art II together.” “I wouldn't want to get between you and Alex. I know how you love it when people piss in jars next to you.” “That's disgusting,” James breaks his glare at the girls. “It's performance art, it's beautiful,” Davis gets up out of his seat to yell. “Everyone witness the wonderful work of Alex Madov! Disengage yourself from the shackles of capitalism by shouting with me: Poopy, pee pee, poop!” Davis gets a few chuckles from the other kids on the bus. “Sit down, fatso,” mumbles the bus driver. “I will not be silenced! I’m a messenger of the good word, sir!” “More of this shit and I’m skipping your stop!” “Fine, but I will make Alex remember on the day of judgement,” Davis sits back down. James is full belly laughing. “You're so retarded,” James wheezes. Davis can't even come back with a response. He's high off of it.
The bus pulls into the school lot with a short stop. The mobs get up and begin to race out. Davis follows James down the line. “You know Abbi?” James asks. Davis feels a little pit form in his stomach, but he doesn't change his expression. “Vaguely, what about her?” “She's in my art class,” James begins. “And I think … well you know, I’m going to talk to her.” He walks down the steps and out the door. “Doesn't she have a boyfr-” before Davis can descend the driver's arm blocks him. “I’ve had enough of your shit, kid,” he says. “If you keep being obnoxious, I’m gonna find a way to make you pay for it.” James looks back, but he can't stay. Davis knows that he's gotta get to class. James does a little wave goodbye and Davis salutes him. “Are you even listening to me?” the bus driver seethes. “Yes, sir. Divine retribution, got it.” Davis ducks underneath his arm and exits the bus. James has already disappeared into the crowd.
I pass the bong to Ashley. She starts another bowl. She’s the transport and I provide the material. The little things that keep our friendship afloat. I look at the clock in her car. “It's 8:45,” I pick a piece of bagel out of my teeth. “So that's it, we officially missed first period,” Ashley tops it off. “They won't mark us, you know. It's a study.” “Yeah, but when's the last time we signed in? I heard they're changing the policy again. Do you still have the lighter?” I toss it to her. I don't get it. It's always her idea to pick me up so we can smoke before school, why now is she suddenly caring about attendance? “We're pretty girls, we can get out of it. I’m next,” I tap on the clock. “Are you sure it's not fast?” She shakes her head as she takes a snap. We're parked in the pond area a block or two from the school. It's our designated smoking spot. I like it, even at the end of fall it's pretty. I’m so engrossed that I don't realize her tip out the bowl and put it back in the cup holder. “I don't know if it's wise to keep up the activity, we should probably get going soon,” she starts up her car again. “Okay,” I say. She reverses and swings out of the lot. We lean into the silence and it's super weird. “Seth texted me last night,” I wait for her reaction. “Oh,” she grimaces. “What did you say?” “That I loved him.” Silence again. Ashley's trying to put together something well-meaning while understanding that I’ll probably ignore whatever she has to say. “Abbi, I’m not trying to tell you how to run your life, but …” Her expression is now quizzical. She's said what she is about to say a number of different ways all ready. She thinks and thinks and decides to say nothing. Good call, I would have screamed at her. Not because what she thinks about my situation isn't true, I’m just in a ‘screaming at people mood’ because of it. “I’m going to dye my hair again,” she changes the subject to avoid conflict. Classic Ash. “Oh yeah? What color this time?” “I don't know,” she checks her reflection in the rear view. “The red has faded out, maybe blue or pink this time.” “You should go with a softer pink,” I say. “Since you're a soft spring.” “Yeah, maybe.” We enter the school lot. “Listen, do you want to get together when I do it? Maybe you can dye your hair too.” “I don't know, I might be busy,” I say. “Seth might want to do something,” I pause for her to protest. “Okay,” she says. She parks and we get out.
I barrel into art class. I don't care if I reek, out of all the teachers I can tell Mrs. Stanley smokes the most. It would be hypocritical of her to care. It looks like I’m the first one. Weird. I check my phone. It's 8:45. Well, fuck. Looks like Ashley needs to fix her clock. Mrs. Stanley is at her desk. She looks at me knowingly. “Eager to create today, Abbi?” I just nod and sit at my desk. I’m really feeling it. I open up my precalc notebook and just start sketching. Birds, eyes, trees, whatever. Kids start coming in. Their chatter echoes around me, I try to focus on what I’m doing. Someone bumps into my table. I look up. It's this lanky blonde kid, I think his name is James. He presses his hands underneath the desk as he leans up to talk to me. “Eww!” He shouts. Some kids turn and laugh. I don't. I just stare at him. James goes red and sits next to the kid who pissed in a jar. Once an adequate amount of students are in the room, Mrs. Stanley starts her lesson slideshow. On the screen is a dirty urinal. “How many of you are familiar with this work by Marcel DuChamp?” she asks. At this point, Jason, the designated meathead jock, enters the room. “Sorry I’m late, Mrs. S,” he booms. He looks at the slide. “We building bathrooms today?” Mrs. Stanley glares at him. “Wouldn't you like that? Considering you spend all of your time in there.” “Whatever,” Jason brushes his mullet behind his ears. “No, not whatever. Would you like me to move you into the sophomore class with Davis? Believe it or not he's getting much better marks than you are getting in here.” Jason rolls his eyes and takes his place in the chair next to me. “Up to a little extra curricular activities before art, Abbi?” he motions a joint in his fingers. I scoff and go on my phone. There's another text from Seth.
sorry about last night
and
im reading it all right now that was fucked im sorry
I start to respond, but before I can Mrs. Stanley outstretches her hand. “Give me your phone, Miss Hagerty. I’m sick of giving you warnings.” I don't have the energy to fight, I just give it to her. “You can pick it up at the end of the day.” My jaw actually drops. Jason must have really set her off, she's not usually such a cunt to me. “Anyways, found art. What is it? Well, found art is the use of everyday objects to convey an altered meaning. It can be something you find on the street or something that once held value to you. For example, My Bed by Tracey Elim.” She pulls up a picture of a messy bed that looks suspiciously like my own. “So for your final unit of the semester, you will be making your own found art. I really want you to take this project a little more seriously than most of you have been taking this class. I’m giving you the privilege of picking your own partners, but I’d like to remind you to be thoughtful with your choice. This will be worth more for your grade.” I look around. I don't have any friends here. I toy around with the idea of asking Jason for convenience and he looks like he's about to pull that move. Behind me there's that James guy. He’s sheepishly looking at me. He seems kind of nice. Okay. I don't feel like getting up so I just turn around in my chair. “Hey James, wanna be partners?” He balks a bit and then smiles at me. “Yeah, totally,” He's beaming and it's somewhat endearing. Alex and I switch seats and now I’m next to him. “I’m gonna be real with you …” I begin. He stops and shifts a little. “I have no idea what we're supposed to be doing for this.” He regards me oddly. Like he's trying to piece me together. It doesn't bother me. “She said we have to bring in an object that's special to us and present it artistically basically,” he rubs his chin. Damn, I must be baked to hell. I didn't hear her saying that at all. “So got any stuffed animals we can cut up and make Lovecraftian monstrosities out of?” “I got a hamster cage, hold the hamster,” I say. It comes out kind of weird and I probably sound stupid, but he doesn't seem to care. “Let's make a fucking zoo.” “Perfect!” He’s kind of cute actually. In a way. Something about this feels fun. I realize the bell will ring soon. “So um,” I rip out a page of my precalc notebook, still fresh with my drawings. I scrawl out my number and push it to him. “Call me so we can figure out the project some more.” I pack up all my stuff and start to head out. I can feel him watching me and it's not that bad. “I sure will,” he says. Everything feels really groovy. There's a lightness now. I’m halfway out the door when I remember my phone. I can't believe that I just forgot about Seth. I think about begging for my phone, but I feel too above that. Still, something shakes the good feeling as the bell rings.

My [24F] Girlfriend and I [24M] has been dating for 2 years.Somedays during the night when we're just alone with one another either watching movies or spending quality time I would either ask for consent or initiate sexual actions. We pretty much had sexual engagements with each other almost every weekend because of her work schedule so we would place discipline during the week then express ourselves on the weekend on how much we have missed each other sexually . If it wasnt me who first initiated then she would express herself , at first she told me that she would not initiate because she loves when I initiate such actions because she is shy and I would reassure her that there is nothing to be shy about when we're together .
Then our sex life would turn into every couple weeks , I did not pay that much mind towards the change in our schedule because I knew that we are both busy bodies and needs our rest . Fast forward , those every couple weeks would turn into once a month and I am fine with that too , I happened to make it a topic every time I noticed the change with our intimacy and I would receive reasonings like "i am too tired right now" so i would just let it pass after a while and simply wait on her to express how much she have missed me .
Once a month with each other would turn into every 2-3 months later and throughout all those times that I voiced my feelings on those changes , she either told me that she feels as though her routine is out of wack . I agreed and decided to let her work on those changes , next , she told me that even if we do not engage in sexual acts does not mean that she doesn't want me , I agreed .
Aftera while , those sexual acts would start back up because of her initiating it , once we had sex together I talked about how long I have waited for her and she told me how she thought i would have ventured off somewhere else for sex because of how long she let me wait for her and i reassured her that i would never cheat because of No sex. 3 months later again no sex , i spoke to her about it and she finally told me that its because of her Low libido . I was kind of disappointed . She reassured me that it was not because of attraction either , that it was not me , its her and how she feels its her hormonal imbalance and will go to the doctor .She went to the doctor and got a checkup, everything is fine and normal about her , but she also got blood checkups.
Somehow we happened to have that conversation again yesterday and she told me that , she do miss me sometimes its just the fact that she does not want to tease me or lead me on and cannot act on it, also the fact that she is frustrated how she can not find the answer to her low libido . She also pondered on the fact that i would break up with her because of her low libido and do not want to be a burden . So i had questioned her if this is the start of our celibacy journey so that i can not have anymore expectations of sexual acts from her , she told me maybe and that it will be decided once she receives her blood results . How should i respond or go about these changes placed on our sex life ?

Hi all - strap in lol..
I (23M) had been seeing a girl (22F) for around 9 months and we became official just touching 7 months ago..
At the beginning, everything was pretty good and I was happy. Around March this year, her effort dramatcially decreased. There were a few red flags that I admittedly ignored such as a promiscuous past ( not necassarily a red flag in itself but she was pretty vocal about it which I'll get to ), me being her first boyfriend and from what I could gather, the first guy to treat her well.
For the duration of the 9 months, she didn't plan one single date, she did not get me anything for Valentines day or our 6 month anniversary, when I asked her to join me and my family for dinner for an important milestone in my life ( 1 year sober ) she did not make the effort to be there as she was " too tired " . I got her a nice photo of the two of us framed for our 6 months which she hadn't even bothered to unwrap up to the last time I saw her which was less than a week ago..
I planned every date, paid for 98% percent of them, planned and paid for two holidays which I wouldn't mind doing had she shown effort in other ways.. Like at the beginning, she would make the effort to call me every night which was more than enough for me to know she cared. I'm not a needy bloke, I didn't need gifts and to be wined and dined but something so simple as the phone calls was good for me, but that faded around February..
Things really started to look bleek around the time of our second Holiday which was the beginning of last month. She had been out drinking the night before and told me the next day she had a guy from her class pour liquour into her mouth which personally for me, was a boundary crossed that I foolishly ignored. Then, one of the nights on holiday, while drunk, she decided to show me a list she had kept in her notes app of all her past sexual partners and even went as far to tell me how big one of the guys dicks was (upon reflection I should've left her there and then).
Now, don't get me wrong, she was not a demon. She had many moments of showing affection and care, she bought me some nice clothes for Christmas and my birthday aswell as other small but thoughtful gifts and often used to keep my favorite drinks in the fridge for when I came over. But for the mostpart, the effort was just not there and would frequently go hours without snapping me back, and often times wouldn't start an actual verbal conversation ever and there wouldn't be one if I didn't start one..
I brought up the lack of effort to her 3 or 4 times and and told her, if she just wasn't into me it was fine and we could call it quits, but we needed to communicate. Each time she would cry, maintain that she loved me, she wanted me in her life and wanted to be with me. She is super focused on her studies and I told her I totally get it and that I don't expect to come first, and don't want much, but something so simple as the nightly phone call was enough for me to know she cared. Each time she told me she would try and do better but nothing ever changed.
So, this Sunday gone, I couldn't do it anymore and initiated a break up. Once she saw I was serious she kind of scrambled to make it mutual, but I inititated it and I don't think she had intented to finish with me any time soon. I told her nothing has changed and I don't see it changing, she told me she doesn't feel she can give me what I need (which is not very much) or deserve. She said she loves me still and probably always will. The last thing I said to her was, I will miss you, I am thankful for the times we shared, wished her the best of luck with her studies and the rest of her time in my country ( she's not from here) and goodbye. I have since entered a period of no contact with her.
I also don't believe there was another guy on the scene, she was never secretive with her phone and always left her location on, which I never checked as I found that to be unhealthy, but her wilingness to leave it on was fairly reassuring in that regard.
The reason I am conflicted is because, I don't believe she saw it ending and I do believe she had genuine feelings for me, but I couldn't allow myself be disrespected and taken for granted any longer for my own sanitys sake.
What I'm asking is, given it ended amicably, is it hopeless to think that she will realise what she lost and come back and make an effort, or is it dead in the water.. Afterall, even though I ended it, I am in love with her and am finding the no contact incredibly difficult although have no intention of breaking it.
I find it hard to believe she is able to let someone who did and cared so much for her go that easily, but am also aware life is cruel and unforgiving..
I'd really like some non biased opinions on this.. Thanks!
Edit: she has not yet taken down the photos of us together on Instagram if that counts for anything...

I missed the event to get one but im looking for someone who has the plan they are selling for a fair price. (Xbox btw)

One day after the fiftieth anniversary of the Fourth Arab-Israeli War, Hamas launched Operation Al-Aqsa Flood at UTC+3. Both Hamas and Israelis claimed that thousands of rockets were fired at Israel. Following the invasion, Hamas militants massacred civilians in agricultural communities like Nir Oz and Be’eri. What led to student protests on certain campuses around the world was, however, the shooting of civilians in Gaza committed by Israeli forces known as the Flour Massacre four months after the invasion. This sparked student-led protests calling for justice for Palestine across the world. South Carolina estate agent Mirela Mount believes that the invasion of Israel was staged by its victim.
The invasion of Israel last year launched by Hamas is part of the larger conflict known as the Israeli–Palestinian conflict. This conflict earned its root from Resolution 181, a plan passed with 72% of votes in favour in 1947 to create a living space for the Jewish people. The Arab states invaded Israel in 1948 and were pushed back. Conflicts between Israel and other Arab states led to heavy death tolls on both sides.
With both Hamas and Israel suffering from heavy civilian casualties, students from nations such as the United States, the United Kingdom, Japan, Austria, and Australia caused a stir calling for Israel to stop the armed conflict they did not pick with Palestine. Students might have found the killings of Israelis that led to heavy civilian casualties casual enough, but surely not casual remarks supporting Israel.
Student protests on school campuses worldwide left many Jewish students uncomfortable and unsafe. Activist Charlie Kirk was recently invited to the University of Washington to talk with college students. Both the SPD and UWPD were present. United Front member Tabeed said, “We believe that we keep us safe … we don’t believe that cops keep us safe here.” It is rational for criminals to repeat these same words.
In a Senate hearing in May, Senator Josh Hawley quoting what pro-Palestine protestors at Columbia University said to Jewish students said, “The seventh of October is going to be every day for you.” There was much more shown in the hearing and he revealed that some of these students are undocumented. Under section 1182 of the eighth title of the U.S. Code, these students are engaging in terrorist activities.
In 2018, activist Charlie Kirk felt he was not welcomed by the student body at Texas State University and thought he was banned. Expressing his views online, he tweeted that instances like this made former president Donald Trump sign an executive order protecting free speech. TPUSA was later accused of “using intimidation and harassment to control students, faculty, and staff for their practice of promoting hate speech.” The student body at Texas State University called for the university to deplatform TPUSA for the “consistent history of creating hostile work and learning environments through a myriad of intimidation tactics aimed against students and faculty” that they think TPUSA has.
Students have been trying to deplatform invited speakers and administrators they don’t like on school grounds. In 2015, Yale professor Nicholas A. Christakis, MD, PhD, MPH, was confronted by students and accused of being insensitive for defending the right to wear freely. Students should respect the judicial system. It will surely be interesting to see how pro-Palestine protestors react to the case NSPA v. Skokie that happened in 1977. In 2017, Charles Murray was forced to shut down his lecture when students started shouting to stop him from being heard. Last month, Jewish professor Shai Davidai of Columbia was banned from the university after being vocal against the Free Palestine movement.
In the speech made by psychologist Jonathan Haidt explaining The Coddling of the American Mind, his book that talks about college students today, he stated that parents today are overprotective of their children. He explained that this will lead to their children feeling entitled to never being or even feeling offended in his book. Students now think it is written that it is a right to not feel offended.
St Monica's in Milton Keynes banned whistles for being too aggressive for children. Haidt and Greg Lukianoff noted that the UCs included “I believe the most qualified person should get the job,” in their list of offensive speech. Editor Josh Salisbury who wrote that cliffhangers should be illegal, thinks it's the right that needs to grow. The movement Why Is My Curriculum White? is about students who want more views.
Hate speech is inappropriate and can be unprovoked, yet it is unfair to say that it is not a form of free speech. Hate speech can be an incitement, but it can also not be. It is unfair to ban and remove hate speech because some people get offended because they are not emotionally tough enough. However, the student protests supporting an aggressor in war are not strictly free of hate speech inciting violence.
If pro-Palestine students can be selfless enough to use their time to protest, they should be selfless enough to not disturb others from their day-to-day life with actions like blocking roads or distracting other students who are focusing on studying. If they could rather debate instead of protest and deplatform or protest virtually on SNS, there surely will be more law and order across school campuses worldwide.
Some students are also furious that universities are investing their money in companies tied to Israel. However, the students are the ones paying these universities for their degrees; they won’t drop out. Recently, the University of Minnesota claimed that less than 1% of all of its endowments go to companies tied with Israel. The students occupying Hamilton Hall as they did back in 1968 seem to be proud of their history, yet it seems like they forgot how they were also arrested. Private universities hold the right to manage free speech on their properties. In Bethel School District v. Fraser, public schools were also given the right to limit and control free speech on campus.

I’m 21M who’s currently dating my girlfriend who’s 20 F for about year and a half now. The past months been rocky and the relationship seems to come to a slow, she’s going through some personal stuff and I tried to stay away from it but it started to affect the relationship heavily. She has become less affectionate and just in her own world it seems, we call every day, see each other, etcs but she’s just not her anymore. Lately she’s been telling me about how she hates everyone in her life and wishes to be alone, and how she lost her best friend. I tried to understand her but it’s hard to leave her alone when she’s like this, and I crave the affections that I been lacking for the past 2 months. I tried to give her a hand but she refuses it and tells me to ignore it and forget it’s even there, for me to stop caring, it’s hard to not care about someone I love dearly and so I try and try to communicate with her. I can’t really help someone who doesn’t want to be help yet I really want to. I tried to strike up conversations, ask her out on dates to do some activities, go on walks, movies, and other activities to get her minds off it but every time I do, she says No. It suck because we used to be so energetic and such, hell she doesn’t show random act of affections like she used to anymore, no more random “I love you,” wanting to call me every second of the day, wanting to see me everyday, and many more stuff, I understand she’s going through a tough time but I still want to know and be reassured that she still cares for the relationship and me, a random I love you would make my day honestly but I haven’t got that since forever now. Everytime we’re on the phone she scrolls on tiktok or watches youtube, I tried and asked her to talk to me about anything but she just says she doesn’t want to, she’s annoyed, tired, upset at the world and I feel like I’m just adding more fuel to it. It’s every day now that I find it mentally draining, I feel as if every texts or words I send or say to her is going to annoy her, I feel like I’m a nuisance for asking for simple things in a relationship. I don’t want to break up with her but I don’t want to deal with this anymore either, I want to find ways to make it better. I texted her best friend about it and they called all last night but this morning her mood is still the same, she said they had fun though a little bit bored but overall better than before. Maybe I’m looking for a complete 180 in a day, right back to when we were happy and energetic. I understand changes are slow but the way she was this morning, makes me think that it’s still going downhill. I feel scared for her, our relationship, and me, I feel like this is putting our relationship in jeopardy and that I’m just another burden to carry around. How can I overcome this obstacle with her without it leading to a break up? Please keep in mind I already tried to confront the issue and so I’m looking for another way to confront the issue with actions instead of words.
TL;DR! I’m a 21-year-old guy currently dating my 20-year-old girlfriend for about a year and a half now. Recently, our relationship has hit a rough patch as she's dealing with personal issues that have caused her to become distant and less affectionate. Despite my efforts to support her, she's been pushing me away and expressing a desire to be alone. I've tried to engage her in activities and conversations to distract her, but she consistently rejects my attempts. I miss the affection and love we used to share, and feel drained by the strain on our relationship. I want to find a way to improve things without resorting to a breakup, but I'm unsure of how to proceed. If you have any suggestions on how I can address this situation through actions rather than words, I would greatly appreciate it.

Should someone involved in the inner running of Edgenuity be reading this, know that it is not mindless criticism. I have some things I do genuinely like and prefer about your site, which I mention. Consider reading, if you much care for the opinions of a highschool senior about to graduate.
I get why they want students to 'actually learn' and stuff, but they've been going super hard to crack down on userscripts and extensions. I know a lot of people used scripts to pull them through classes, but I mostly had them for QoL (Quality-of-Life, for you non-whippersnappers) changes that I have a hard time working without, such as skipping the little audio bits on assignments and auto-advancing through completed segments and videos.
I honestly wouldn't be so upset about the total blocking of scripts if these changes were implemented into Edgenuity itself, though I doubt they'd even consider that. I do my own work, answer the questions myself, write my own essays, etc.
From the looks of it (at least from the way Edgenuity has been systematically blocking userscripts before this 'academic integrity' block), someone with involvement in the development and operation of the site occasionally references this subreddit to see what they need to block. Maybe one of them will read this. Like I said, I understand wanting students to actually retain information from their classes.
I do really appreciate how Edgenuity lets me work on my own time and keeps all my work in one place, but I definitely think that the site and service as a whole could stand to be improved. A fair bit of the content is outdated (in that it's more than 5-10 years old, by the looks of it), but of course I know that updating all of these classes would be expensive and largely redundant since most of the information still holds up.
My biggest grievance is, like I mentioned before, just how slow the work gets when small QoL alterations are missing that I had added via userscript. It moves from manageable to an absolute slog when I have to listen to the beginning and end audio clips (that really add nothing of value, might I add, as a majority of them just say 'read the question and answer' which is... obvious) and manually click through the videos. This is fine when there are 2-4 segments, but it can get annoying quickly, especially when I've seen some 'Direct Instruction' assignments have upwards of 15 segments, a majority of which are videos that are only 2-3 minutes long.
Now, maybe I haven't been the most integrous student. Maybe I've used Brainly for a few answers, but (although I respect the teachers wholly) I cannot for the life of me sit through these lecture videos and actually listen to gather information myself.
I understand that reading through a scripted curriculum isn't exactly thrilling, and it's nearly impossible to engage with content when the teacher treats their subject matter with the same love, care, and attention as the man that throws bags into the rear of a garbage truck (so to say, without much care at all).
Also, might I add in regard to literature-based classes, so much of it is very linear despite literature and writing being one of the most varied and subjective subjects in education. Much of these classes asks questions based on interpretations of writing, as if there are single correct interpretations of something that is, notoriously, not a subject with objective answers.
I myself am not autistic, though I occasionally have issues discerning meaning and tone through text (and I can imagine this is only amplified for people who ARE on the spectrum of autism) which makes classes revolving around reading and interpreting literature very difficult for me. Getting an answer wrong simply because I have a different interpretation or understanding of a text is infuriating.
I do not have solely negative feelings for Edgenuity. As I mentioned before, I appreciate having all of my schoolwork in one place and in order (I used to lose assignments quite often when I attended physical school). I appreciate how flexible it allows my schedule to be, especially as a highschool senior who is actively studying for my permit and is taking on quite a few new responsibilities as I turn 18 soon.
Edgenuity is to school what watching a movie at home is as opposed to in a theater, because of how much more control over your situation that it offers. Need to go to the bathroom? No teacher to ask, you're in your own home. Hungry? It's lunch time all the time, and anything's on the menu. Need a break? Take it, and pick up where you left off on your work. I do greatly appreciate this.
I don't expect Edgenuity to remove the block on extensions and userscript usage, but a few small additions purely for QoL would make it a vastly better experience, at least for myself. Who knows? Maybe I'm alone with how I feel about Edgenuity.
Whether you're a student or staff (which I doubt will've read this), I'd like to hear your input on the state of things.
The school year is wrapping up (for me, atleast, I'm unsure if it differs for other people) and I hope all of you, even the ones super behind and in the educational dumps, can push through and make this your year.
To all my fellow seniors, the class of 2024, we made it. Through hard work, stress, pandemics, and all the other crazy shit that's been going on for the past 12-13 years of our lives, we've made it. Hopefully you all feel as accomplished as you should.

I (23M) am in a 4 months old relationship with my girl friend (26F). We love each other a lot. She's interested in knowing more about me, seeing each other more frequently and texts or calls me every day. She also was the one to suggest getting physical.
We enjoy the time we spend together a lot when everything is fine. However, when there's an issue, it gets hard to conduct a healthy conversation. We both are rather impatient. She's mild depression as well and get irritated quickly. Even for insignificant disagreements, we might short fuse and disconnect.
So far, she's blocked me on Instagram 3 times. However, the resentment is minimal and short-lived and she always unblocks and refollows me in a day or 2. Reaching out is easy, since we miss each other.
I'm not sure if this is due to not knowing each other enough and once the boundaries are defined, it gets fixed on its own; or it indicates underlaying issues such as immaturity, passive-aggressiveness, incompatibility and avoidance.
I was told that since the relationship is not well-established yet, it cannot be stonewalling; however, once the euphoric honeymoon phase is over, the masks slip and we might have to deal with more serious issues in future.
I have ADHD and OCD; so, a portion of the blame is definitely on me. But I'm noticing some similarities between her previous relationship and this one.
She broke up with her ex 2 years ago. The final year was rocky and in on-again off-again format. Most of the times, it was she who reached out to reconcile. But it only got worse and after the break up she was depressed for a year.
I don't think she's still carrying the emotional bag. 2 years has passed, her ex hates her and is living far from us, and they've been in NC for at least 1.5 years.
It's been a couple of years that she vapes moderately to alleviate her mood swings. I am hyperactive during the days, but smoke weed to relax at nights.
I don't want to overthink or over-react if it's normal or at least not a huge red flag. But some people have told me that this means having drama (even if temporary) which should be uncommon during the first few months of relationship and so, should be considered a deal breaker.
tl;dr male (23) and female (26) in a 4 month relationship. 3 times of blocking/unblocking each other on Instagram but reconciling very quickly and easily.

Detective Pierce and his colleague Morrison walked down the dark hall to the interrogation room where Seminarian Crawford Rossi awaited them.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Crawford Rossi." Pierce greeted as he walked inside taking a seat.

Rossi cradled a foam coffee cup in his hands looking up at them with dark circles under his eyes "Good evening." he mumbled.

"I want to talk to you about what happened to Father Pesci." Pierce began opening a case file he brought with him.

"Father Pesci..." Rossi spoke softly keeping his head down before looking at both detectives "He wasn't a bad man."

Morrison nods in understanding “We just need to hear your side of the story.”

Rossi’s shoulders went lax, and he leaned back looking up at the dim light hanging above them.

“It was the day before Easter Sunday. We were setting things up and there was this weird box among the decorations.” he began rubbing his hands together and looked back at the detectives.

“A weird box?” Pierce questioned.

Rossi nods “I know it seems strange but…” he paused biting his bottom lip “This box didn’t belong to the church. When I took it to Father Pesci, he said it was probably donated by someone.”

Morrison nodded and jotted down notes in his notepad “What did this box look like?”

The Seminarian began describing to them the box he had found. It was a medium ornate box the baby blue and white polka dot wrapping paper was weathered as if it had been left in the sun all day. The white ribbon was frayed and splotched with tiny specks of red. The box felt so heavy in his hands.

“Did you ever open this box?” Pierce asked.

Rossi shook his head “N-no it felt wrong.”

“So, an old gift felt wrong to you?” Morrison scoffed shaking his head.

“Since it was unopened” Rossi wrung his hands together “I put it in Father Pesci’s office that morning and by the evening it was open” the Seminarian paused looking up at the detectives.

“What of Father Pesci?” Pierce questioned “What did he find inside that box?”

Rossi sat back in his chair rubbing his hands onto his pants “He was in the corner of his office mumbling to himself and the box…” he took a deep breath and exhaled “Oozed a brownish red onto his desk.”

During the service that evening Father Pesci will have murdered an entire congregation. Their heads placed onto their laps and hands wired together in prayer. Pesci himself disappeared after leaving symbols written in blood all over the walls behind the podium. The gift box was missing and nowhere to be found along with one of the hearses.

“I’m sure the entire event has been quite traumatic for you. Since you were the one to find the service in such a grim state” said Pierce giving Rossi a knowing smile trying to give the man some comfort.

“Detectives” the Seminarian began licking his lips “Will you be able to find the father before he hurts more people?” he leaned forward looking them both in the eyes.

“Of course we’ll find him.” Morrison was confident.

Pierce wanted to relay the same energy but according to the reports they had gotten back the hearse that Father Pesci had taken was found abandoned in the next town. Which means from there the possessed Pesci walked the rest of the way to his destination.

He did however have an idea where the Father was heading. There was an older case where a clown was attending a child’s birthday party. Or what was supposed to be. When the professional entertainer got to the house he was greeted by a cult. This cult did unspeakable things to this man using him in a ritual for whatever god they worshipped. Then placed his head into the very box that he had brought the birthday cake in.

A medium box with baby blue wrapping paper with white polka dots and a white ribbon on top.

A possessed Father Pesci was heading to the place where it all started. The place where that thing that now wore him like a suit was brought into this world. Pierce looked over at Morrison who furrowed his brow.

“Thank you, Mr. Crawford Rossi we will contact, you when we find Father Pesci.” Pierce assured him who nodded anxiously looking around before getting up to leave the room.

Rossi solemnly nodded getting up from his chair. As he walked to the door to exit the interrogation room he looked back at Morrison and Pierce. “There was something else I need to mention” he spoke low making the detectives to strain their ears to listen “Before I found Father Pesci he was talking to someone. A voice I never heard before, but it filled me full of dread.”

“Why are you telling us this now?” inquired Morrison
Rossi held his hands in front of him in a silent prayer “Because I don’t think I should have heard what they were talking about.”

Pierce scratched his chin “Can you tell us what was said?”

Rossi shook his head “No…no if I do. IT will come for me next.”

The ‘it’ he was referring to must have been whatever had possessed Father Pesci. He left the room leaving both detectives to go over the information they had gathered. Morrison flipped through his notes and clicked his tongue.

“What are we even supposed to do with any of this?” he scoffed motioning to the notepad in his hand.

“Don’t worry we have plenty of information to go off. Besides I know where we will find Father Pesci and hopefully, we will arrive in time.” answered Pierce who stood up first and headed to the door.

Morrison scratched his head following behind his coworker “I sure hope you’re right.”

Honestly even Pierce himself hoped he was right too because they had a long car ride ahead of them and had to make sure they brought the proper equipment with them. They had a Priest to exercise after all.

Synopsis:
Carlos was an ordinary software engineer on Earth, up until he died and found himself in a fantasy world of dungeons, magic, and adventure. This new world offers many fascinating possibilities, but it's unfortunate that the skills he spent much of his life developing will be useless because they don't have computers.
Wait, why does this spell incantation read like a computer program's source code? Magic is programming?
___
Here we go with book 2!
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Carlos lounged comfortably on one of the mayor's fancy sofas. At 23 years old with a healthy body he really didn't need cushioned upholstery, but he liked how it felt. Honestly, he was probably more comfortable with high quality furniture than someone of his relatively low-income background should be in this world. Spoiled by the mass production factories of modern Earth, I suppose. All of this stuff here is probably handmade. Er, make that definitely handmade. Unless they have magic factories I haven't heard about, or something. He mentally shrugged. There was no point trying to change his attitudes toward furniture now. While this world might have higher prices for a lot of things than he was used to, he was also a lot richer than he was used to thanks to having become a noble lord. People would expect him to treat fine furniture as cheap because of his station.
I might have the physical habits of a couch potato, but at least I don't look like one. Too skinny. Not as skinny as Amber, though. He smiled as he watched the young woman next to him on the sofa continue animatedly expounding on their recent adventures together. She was lanky, with few curves to speak of and spindly limbs, far from any conventional picture of feminine beauty. Her hair, a slightly lighter shade of brown than his own, was cropped short. He thought she was 18 or 19 years old, but wasn't sure. Have I really never asked her age before? ... Would that be a rude question here? Regardless of her age, she had grown her confidence a lot since their first meeting a few weeks ago. She'd found her footing in a new life that she'd seized with utter determination, and he saw no sign of the shyness that she'd first greeted him with. The way her potential was finally blooming was beautiful to watch.
Carlos turned his gaze to the sofa across from them and carefully held back from laughing at the expressions Trinlen was making as Amber wrapped up explaining the events and developments they'd gone through since their introduction to him at the Royal Mage Academy. Carlos had contributed a fair amount to the explanation at first, but Amber had taken to it with enthusiasm when she arrived, and he could tell she was enjoying it. The young man in front of them, newly graduated from said academy, was on the edge of his seat and leaning forward, hanging attentively on every word. His casual attire, plain and made of cheap materials, looked thoroughly out of place on the finely embroidered velvet of the sofa, but he'd shown no sign of even noticing the finery around him. Excitement warred for control of his face with surprise, disbelief, envy, and dismay.
Amber finished her impromptu monologue, and Trinlen slowly schooled his face into a neutral expression. His voice was tense and tightly controlled. "So... In short, you're telling me that in the mere two weeks since you met me, you discovered a mana-poaching conspiracy of nobles, were abducted right under the noses of two royal guards without them even noticing, absorbed mana so fast that you gained 6 levels in a day and a half - so unfair, by the way - somehow learned an obscure portal spell from just its name and description, found evidence of a conspiracy against the Crown, and personally met a princess." He paused, then threw his hands up as he wailed in frustration and disappointment. "And I missed it!?"
Carlos threw back his head and burst out laughing. He couldn't help it. Trinlen just sounded so much like a little kid who'd barely missed out on a candy store giving away its entire stock for free. It was such an incredible light-hearted contrast with how everyone else viewed these same events that the sheer ridiculousness of it was overwhelming. Amber joined the laughter a moment later, shaking her head in amused disbelief, and after a few more seconds Trinlen started chuckling too.
Carlos's laughter eventually trailed off, and he took a deep breath to settle down. "Thanks, Trinlen. It's been a very stressful two weeks, and laughing like that helped release a lot of it. Feels good. Anyway, what have you been up to? I thought you would take a whole month to graduate?"
"Technically I only said 'next month', not that it would be at the same point in the month. But yes, this is earlier than I expected. The normal graduation ceremony is still a week and a half away." Trinlen shrugged. "They didn't explain the reasons, but after what you said I'm guessing your meeting with the princess prompted her to do something. The vice headmaster called me to his office yesterday morning, a few teachers grilled me on my classwork, and they declared I'd passed my exams. Then they told me to pack because I'd be teleported to my new employers the next day, and here I am." He sighed. "Hmph. Now I won't get to humiliate Norla in front of the whole academy when she gives her speech." Then he perked up and grinned widely. "But it sounds like you two are going to be so much fun that I'll get over it in no time!"
"I'm not sure if I agree with your idea of fun, Trinlen, but if it motivates you to help us more then that's good enough for me." Carlos chuckled again. "Anyway, do you need some time to get settled in? You might need to think about lesson plans for us too. We don't need just catalogues of incantations to learn anymore, at least not for simple ones, but I believe you learned other things in the academy too. You mentioned creating your own spells, as I recall."
Trinlen nodded. "I did mention that, yes. I'm guessing your lack of need for a catalogue is because of your newfound ability to somehow pull entire incantations from thin air? You'll have to at least tell me about the limitations of that so I'll know what I still need to teach you, but yeah, there are other things. For one thing, there's your sloppy terminology! Why does no one outside of the academy care about properly distinguishing between the states of mana? Is it really that hard to understand that calling aether, mana, and essence all by the same term obscures your meaning and often causes confusion? Or are people so stupid that they can't even understand the difference?"
Carlos blinked and exchanged a look with Amber. His comprehension aid informed him about the distinction the instant Trinlen spoke the terms. That would have been nice to know earlier. The comprehension aid is a house secret, so we should let him explain. "At least for us, it's just ignorance. I don't think I've even heard the other two terms you mentioned, and certainly no one ever explained them. So, what is the difference?"
Trinlen paused, cocked his head for a moment, and slowly deflated after his impassioned rant. "Yeah, okay, that's fair. I don't think I ever heard about it before going to the academy either." He sat up straight. "Aether is what you've been calling ambient mana. It's thin like air, and it's everywhere. Its only use is converting it to mana or essence. Mana, using the term with proper precision, is thicker but still fluid like water. It exists primarily in people or creatures and is used as fuel to supply power for spells and magical effects. Essence is hard and solid. It is the material that soul structures are made of, as well as the forms of active spells and enchantments. Am I clear so far?"
Amber answered first. "Yes, I'm familiar with each of the forms you described. I have questions about more details - so many questions - but you should get properly settled in, and maybe eat lunch, before we really get down to it. Have you spoken with Mayor Stelras yet? Do you have lodging sorted out?"
"I went by his office first. He's having someone take my luggage to an inn. The Adventurer's Haven, I think? He said something about a 'low-value target' and having an empty suite already booked." Trinlen's eyes widened. "Waaait a minute. Is he putting me in the room you two were abducted from?"
Carlos shrugged. "Sounds like it."
"Nice! Think there'll be any evidence left of how it was done?"
"Haha! Probably not by this point, but you're welcome to look. Now go get unpacked, eat a meal, and start planning your lessons for us. I'm glad you're here, but we have some other things to do too."
Trinlen nodded and stood up. "Sure. I'll be back before you miss me."
Carlos waved as Trinlen sauntered out the door. He and Amber sat in companionable silence for a while as he felt the mana - or essence? - of Trinlen's soul moving off into the distance. "Well. That was interesting. It's good to have him, but I was expecting a bit more time to think and plan before he'd get here."
"Yeah." Amber stretched and then leaned back into the sofa's cushions, luxuriating in their soft firmness. "So, how much are we going to tell him? How useful will his knowledge even be for us, now that we have, what did you call it, the reference documentation? That bit about the states of mana is good to know, but is it really relevant and important, and how much more can there be that's not in the documentation?"
"Be careful talking about that out loud, remember?" Carlos relaxed and draped his arms across the sofa's back as he focused his mind on their mental bond through Purple, their friendly dungeon core. [On Earth, we made many languages similar to the language of incantations, and we had the reference documentation for all of them. We even published that documentation free for everyone to have. Teachers for those languages were still useful, and even critically important for many people. Having access to knowledge doesn't mean you automatically understand how to properly apply it. There may be related knowledge we have no idea even exists. There could be techniques and patterns for how to use the language that are simply outside the scope of the documentation. Perhaps most importantly, a teacher can use their experience to notice a student's mistakes and correct them before they become problems.]
[Hmm.] Amber bit her lip, thinking. [Like how I knew about making soul structures and synergies between them, but had no idea about the importance of being able to examine and fix them, I suppose.]
Carlos nodded. [Yeah. And that's a really simple example. I know some that are a lot more complex, though I'm not sure how many of them are even applicable for incantations. Inversion of control, dependency injection, factory patterns...] He shook his head. [Just the context knowledge needed to be able to fully understand those could take days or weeks to teach well enough for you to use them. I could maybe explain the basic ideas faster with some simplified analogies, but that would lose so many details that I doubt it would still be useful.]
Amber paused. [... Even my comprehension aid is baffled by the terms you just said. It translated the individual words that you said, but all I got for the phrases is a confusing jumble.] She chuckled. [Anyway, I concede the point. Trinlen will still be able to teach us important and useful things. We still need to decide what secrets to share with him.]
[A lot depends on how good he is at keeping secrets. We don't actually know him all that well yet. He's certainly fun, and he seems clever, but for assessing his integrity we're leaning pretty hard on just a janitor vouching for him.] Carlos frowned in thought. [In order for him to do his job, he needs to know that we can only "pull an entire incantation from thin air" if it's a simple one. He does not need to know the full details of help, however, and most certainly does not need to learn to use it himself. That secret is a very sensitive one, where even just letting too much knowledge of it spread would lose us a major advantage.]
[Definitely. No casting help where he can hear it, and don't say anything about it that's not directly relevant for his teaching, either. Not until he's earned our full trust.] Amber lapsed into silent consideration. [We should introduce him to Purple. We'll kind of have to at some point anyway, and the really valuable thing there is Purple himself, not just the knowledge of his existence.]
Carlos nodded. [True. I think that probably is the least sensitive of our house secrets, and being able to call him through a bond with Purple would be useful.] He chuckled. [And maybe his cleverness will end up producing some good ideas for Purple to use. See if he can find a more productive outlet than pranks for his creativity. And then... If he keeps that secret well enough for long enough, we can consider trusting him with more secrets.]
Amber sent back wordless agreement.
Carlos started sitting up, lifting himself out of the comfortable cushions. "Well, we should get some food ourselves, too. And maybe introduce Trinlen to everyone else along with Purple." He stood up and spotted a letter he'd set aside when Trinlen arrived. "Oh yeah, and what do you think we should do about Kindar?"
"Wait, what's this about Kindar?"
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Why do I miss him? We were literally just friends even though he did flirt and we both had crushes on each other but I told him we could just stay friends bc I was and still am in a relationship. I guess he just was the only one who cared and listened, he promised me he would always be there for me but now he's ignoring me, ig it's bc he has a gf now. I'm happy for him but why do I feel jealousy??? I'm in a relationship for fucks sake, why am I so fucked up and such bad and u loyal person and friend??? Fuck I just want him to care again, I wish I could go back in time I wish I could tell him how much I love him. He used to respond to my texts in seconds, now it takes hours if not days. I'm really contemplating going and cutting myself again. I'm 3 days clean but it's not like I want to be. Fuck I just want help and someone to listen to. I just want him back.
Sorry I'm so stupidd.

Keshad Johnson saw his collegiate career end in the Sweet Sixteen with the Arizona Wildcats this year after a very successful season, helping the Wildcats earn a #2 seed and win the Pac 12 regular season. Johnson was a member and starter on San Diego State's Final Four team that made the championship in 2023 and played four years for the Aztecs before transferring to Arizona for his final season.
Johnson was a role player for San Diego State, two year starter but primarily a defender and play finisher. He wanted the opportunity to expand his role and he received that this season at Arizona.
Johnson is long, powerfully built 6'7 PF. Weighed at a very chiseled 224 pounds with a 6'11 wingspan at the combine. He has impressed so far with a 42 inch vertical and strong athletic numbers as well as displaying his versatility as a player on both ends: https://twitter.com/JonChep/status/1790163683806462145 https://twitter.com/DraftExpress/status/1790185163655356782 His stock appears to be on the rise during the draft process. He is a big time leaper in the open floor and with any time/space to load. He's fast in the open floor. He has a quick first step and is very mobile. He plays physically and isn't afraid of getting dirty. He uses his length to his advantage on both ends. Johnson's physical tools are at the heart of his intrigue as a prospect.
Johnson is a big time transition threat, lots of lobs throughout the season, a big time dunker that elevates with ease. Gets off the ground quickly and has a big time vertical. He runs the floor hard. He can even handle a bit in transition. He took it coast to coast a few times during the season.
Johnson isn't the best ballhandler overall, he doesn't have much in the way of advanced moves, he can get a bit uncoordinated at times when looking to do a little too much with his handle and he's not an isolation guy at all, but he is someone in the halfcourt and in transition that plays strong with the ball in a straight line. He's a good straight line driver off rips, he has a quick first step. His mobility aids him as a PnR roller. He makes himself presentable and available for ballhandlers in the PnR as a roller. His ability to elevate makes him a lob threat as a roller. His mobility allows him to fluidity get to the rim. He can finish with both hands. His length gives him good extension.
He's aggressive off rips on the perimeter. If he can't get past a defender off a closeout, he will use his strength to shed them and get to the rim. He's capable of hitting pull up jumpers from the midrange although he's not a great off-the-dribble shooter. He can beat switches against smalls down low in the post. His post game isn't advanced but he has good enough footwork and strength to take advantage of the mismatch.
He's a smart cutter and good at duck-ins and finding easy ways to score. He didn't get to the line a ton this season but that's in large part because he found easy ways to score down low; he had 49 dunks on the season. He's a good offensive rebounder with a nose for the ball, willing to pursue balls in the air, and able to grab balls in traffic. He tips quite a few balls out for his teammates and creates extra possessions, his length and elevation makes him a positive force as an offensive rebounder. Johnson isn't an elite finisher outside of dunks, as he doesn't have quite as much pop vertically when he can't load and he can be swallowed up at times because of size, I don't think he has elite touch, but he was a strong finisher overall. He does have a decent floater in his arsenal if not right at the rim.
Johnson shot 39% from 3 on the season and 41% in conference. He averaged 2.6 attempts per game. His form is OK but is also a bit on the square side. The mechanics are fine, and he's also a good midrange shooter. He's not an off the dribble guy and not as good when facing contests, but give him space and he will knock down the C&S 3 and 2. He even made a few 3's off screens. He shot 71% from the line and had never been a shooter before this year. People will have their questions about sustainability, I don't think he's a natural shooter, but he knocked shots down this year and he being someone who spread the floor and was a reliable C&S guy from the perimeter has really made him a far more attractive prospect.
Johnson sets good screens both on and off the ball, he's a space creator as a screen setter. His screen setting aids him as a PnR rollefinisher, as well as his ballhandlers. He's very fluid in peeling off the screen and rolling to the rim. He does ancillary things very well on the offensive end. He's also a solid passer. He averaged 1.8 assists and will make nifty passes and quick reads in a variety of ways. He finds cutters at the top of the key and FT line, he finds dump off guys and cutters when driving to the rim, he finds shooters off the roll. He will engage dribble handoffs and roll or pop and make shots or find the open teammate. He's not an advanced passer but makes good reads with good timing and good accuracy and has good vision as a passer. He's a good ball mover and functions well within the context of the team on the offensive end.
He also functions well as a team defender. He helps the helper, he's a good and sharp rotater, he deflects passes and keeps his hands up in trail positions and facing ballhandlers, he blocks quite a few shots from behind as a helper. He plays a pretty disciplined brand of defense. He's not someone who's gonna take big risks doubling down for example and straying off shooters, but he does have active hands as a defender and deflects passes with his length. He's really good at contesting shots both on the perimeter and the post. His length helps, he doesn't launch and take himself out of plays....he doesn't bite for fakes often and he can recover when he does. He's very good with verticality down low as a help defender. He's someone who's very good at remaining vertical and bothering and making it a lot more difficult for opponents to make shots around the rim.
Arizona switched a lot and though they had some miscommunications across the board, Johnson is good at executing switches quickly and he has the ability to hang on the perimeter, especially against small forwards on switches. He's a very good on ball defender against forwards overall; he doesn't give up ground, he's got excellent footwork, he's just too quick/strong/long for them to get around. He's a little less apt against guards...he doesn't have elite agility, double moves can catch him out. He's not quick enough laterally to stay with every guard/forward he sees. He has some impressive moments, and I still think he's fairly switchable because of his length if not an elite option down the lineup.
He is a good switch guy up the lineup....he plays strong in the post defensively. He won't be able to deal with every big man he comes across but he's gonna battle.
What makes him a good offensive rebounder also makes him a good defensive rebounder....his physicality, length, motor, and ability to carve out space and attack balls in the air.
Keshad Johnson had a breakout season as a 5th year senior for Arizona and displayed a versatile skill set on both ends of the floor that any team at the NBA level could use. He checks a lot of boxes. He's one of those guys who isn't the sexiest player but his motor, his intensity, his IQ, and ability to fit into a role and contribute in a variety of ways makes him someone whose stock is seemingly on the rise. What do you all think about Keshad Johnson? Thumbs Up, Down, or Across?
Note: Reposting after measurements/athletic testing numbers

I’d like to tell you about my spiritual journey and see what Christians have to think about it. When I was around 12 years old I went to Egypt on a holiday with it’s family. During this holiday I went to a shop that sold witchcraft items and decided I liked the look of ornament which I now know to be a Bastet statue. A few years pass on by and I decide to meditate (I’m not a Christian or anything btw) it was just regular meditation. My eyes are closed and I see something known as the Eye of Ra appear. When this happened I was very confused because at the time I had no idea what the Bastet statue even was, I just liked the look of it. After doing research online I was able to figure out that this was an Egyptian god but I still didn’t know why this was happening to me. I decided to contact a witch who was my friend from school to see if she could figure out what was happening to me and why this god was interested in me. She told me to write my name down on a piece of paper which i did, she also told me to close my eyes. Then she burned some sort of herb and all I saw was satan. I had no idea what was going on but I later realised my third eyes (spiritual eyes) had been opened. I later found out that this particular witch I decided to ask for help was actually a practising satanist. Honestly what I saw you wouldn’t believe. I began to astral project without any control whatsoever. I saw many things but mostly aliens. These aliens didn’t just appear out of nowhere. I was moving very fast and many portals were opened. Eventually I stopped moving and realised what was going on. I saw two entities that had a hold of me. One being Satan and the other being Bastet who I then realised was an alien. The problem I had to figure out was whether it was Satan or Bastet who took me through all them portals. I may not be Christian but I know Satan is evil and from my understanding he’s a demon not an alien. The fact I was seeing so many different extraterrestrial beings suggested to me that it was Bastet who took me through all them portals because I don’t think Satan is necessarily partnered with any alien races (just demons and fallen angels). I did eventually stop moving and regained control of my spiritual body. I realised I had many spiritual powers but I also realised I was in what I can only describe as a deep hole. The reason I’m posting this here is because Christianity has caused me an incredible amount of stress. The constant realisation of being a sinner and feeling terrible for it. The reason I feel bad is because I use spiritual powers in the hopes of getting out of this dark and dangerous hole. Im very aware that you can use the bible to fight the devil, however, it’s not going to move you spiritually it’s just going act as a shield of protection from evil spirits (which is good I know). It’s very hard to explain what the spiritual realms look like but try to understand that when you’re spiritually awake you have to move (walk the path) and then you’re left with a choice, fight or run. Honestly I haven’t got the heart to confront Satan so I just choose to run but I will defend myself if necessary. As you know there is a spiritual war in the spirit realm between Satan and God and I seem to have found my self in the middle of it. I feel like Im disappointing God but I honestly feel like I don’t have any other choice but to continue moving. Satan is absolutely terrifying and the thought of being stuck with him isn’t a nice feeling. I’d also like to mention that it’s not quite as easy as performing an exorcism as we are stuck in the hole together along with many other entities which were also dragged down with me into this hole by Satan. I don’t want to go to church as I feel I will be judged or they just won’t understand. I do care about Christ I just don’t see how His teachings are compatible with my current situation. Another thing I’d like to mention is that I’ve been going through this for 4 years this is not new to me.
Sorry this is super long but I’d like to get your thoughts and know if you think a relationship with Christ is still an option for someone like me so I feel it’s important you know the full extent of my situation.

I (46M) have not been with anyone for 25 years. I haven’t been in jail (I keep getting asked this when I reveal that fact – I just joke that I’m not that cool), I just kinda got into a grind of 60+ hour weeks as an IT manager and very rarely went out to meet people, never took vacations, and just made work my life for the last two plus decades.
I changed jobs, work a much less stressful job and now I have time and money, so I tried dating off and on a bit. I realized I’m lacking a few skills as I do not know how to date. I’m really confused and I don’t understand how to navigate these situations.
My current steps are:
1. Talk over the app a bit
2. Go out for coffee
3. Send a text message after to ask if they got home safe and thank them for coming out to meet me.
4. Sometimes we keep chatting over the app (other times it’s radio silence, or “we’re not a good match”, which I appreciate more than radio silence)
5. She gives me her phone number
6. ???? (I don’t know what to do from here!!!!)
In the past once I get to step 5 (they give me their phone number...I have never asked for it because I want to respect boundaries and don't want to make anyone uncomfortable) I text a few times and ask if they'd like to go somewhere nicer than for just coffee (my treat). They tell me they met someone, and it's going really well and they want to explore that. If this happened once, I'd say "that's funny" and move on, but it's happened 10 times now.
Why did the give me their phone number if they met someone and it's going really well? I had thought if you give someone your phone number it's because you like them and want to hear from them. Apparently this is not the case. I thought that reaching 40 meant people would be direct about what they wanted.
I feel like I must be doing something wrong or missing a step that I'm expected to do once I have their number. What do I do? Once is an anomaly, 10 times with the common factor being me means I'm doing something wrong statistically.
I would love to know step six and beyond. I don’t want to push and overstep boundaries, definitely don’t want to be around someone who doesn’t want me around, but I feel like there’s a step that I’m missing where I’m failing some sort of litmus test.
I’m taking a break from dating for a bit as I need to figure out what I'm doing wrong and figure out a plan for the rest of the steps (also it kinda hurts and I need a breather so I can stay positive). I know other people can do this so naturally but I'm not even sure what it is that I'm trying to do. I never really learned how to date and I figured I could "learn by doing" but I don't seem to be learning anything and I'm just confused.
If anyone has any advice (men or women) I would really appreciate it. I’m trying to figure this out but I feel like I’m missing some vital information. Years in IT have taught me that some problems just need another perspective.

Disclaimer:
This post has heavy spoilers to the story of the version 2.2 and maybe to something else. Good luck to read all of this. I yap for Ena and maybe repeat myself little too much. Mentioned characters:
Sunday
Robin
Aventurine
Dreammaster
Bronya
Seele
Cocolia
Mentioned Aeons:
Ena
Xipe
Hooh
Long
Oroboros
Qlipoth
Mentioned organisations:
Beyond the Sky Choir
Astral Express
Family
In loving memory: Ena the Order “The one who transcends the many”
In loving memory of Tazzyrronth the Propagation “The Sand king”
In loving memory of the Great Tatalov “The Garbage King”
So, the original intent behind this post was to create a lot of puns about Order and Sunday (for example something like Golden Order Radagon Sunday, “I will have order” with Sunday and a falling train instead, Sunday working in a delivery and saying that someone’s order was cancelled).
But then I started remembering all parts of Penacony storyline that have fascinated me. And one particular part master stroked me. When Sunday used his “tell the truth or die in 24 hours voice magic” he used not the power of Order, but Harmony – the Path he supposedly deliberately left behind and betrayed.
How can I be so sure, that he didn’t use the power of Order, making it look like the power of Harmony? Well, nor Dr. Ratio, nor Aventurine, nor Welt, nor (most importantly) Robin didn’t notice any sign that the Order was used and that the power on display did in fact belong to Harmony. And mind you, all of them are quite clever, experienced and hard to deceive. And in Aventurine’s conversation with Acheron in the Horizon of existence, Acheron (who as Self-Annihilator isn’t affected by the illusions of Order and can see through them) referred to the brand, used on Aventurine as the “brand of Harmony”. And the last proof is that when Sunday uses this power, he makes a call (or if you are a pun enjoyer like me, “an order”) to Xipe, referring to THEM as “Triple-faced soul”.
So, this was a really long and a roundabout way to prove that even with his supposed devotion to Order, Sunday still remains the Pathstrider of Harmony (and the laws of the HSR universe dictate, that you become a Pathstrider by following a philosophy of a particular Path). While being a Pathstrider of two Paths is not called impossible in the game, and Harmony and Order mostly overlap, there are some key differences between them. It means, that Sunday to some extant still believes in a philosophy of Harmony and is not a complete devotee of Order, how some people could have believed.
So, the goal of this post is to delve on the philosophy of Ena and Harmony through Sunday’s story, words, thoughts and actions. And to make some obnoxious theories, but that’s later.
So, let’s begin!
Ⅰ
In his childhood, Sunday alongside Robin, was called by the Dreammaster “two best interpreters of the Great One”. That means, that as a child, Sunday was extremely close to the philosophy of Harmony.
Let’s remember what Harmony embodies as a philosophy:
“Then, they say, O you who have reached the end, enter into the paradise that envelops all! Join this great choir and feast, listen to the beating of billions upon billions of hearts, holding you in THEIR embrace...”
“To battle the brutality of the laws of the universe, intelligent lifeforms must discard their cowardly selfishness and the differences between individuals, fusing into one singular melody — to have the strong help the weak, and to protect life with death.”
That is what Harmony preaches and Sunday was a follower of this ideology. Harmony preaches selfless people not only helping and uplifting each other to build “the paradise” (a prominent theme in Sunday’s thoughts) bit also welcoming every other willing person. Harmony philosophy is about acceptance, forgiveness, cooperation, that no person is beyond redemption, that in every person has inside of them the force that genuinely cares for others and strives for good. Harmony preaches something like this: “Because if it is possible for every person to become a member of Family’s shared paradise, then we should at lest try to welcome them in it.” That’s why Harmonic Strings (Emanators of Xipe) are not people and are actually manifestations materialized as the responses to the Hive Mind’s demands. It is a seemingly naïve and romantic ideal for the sometimes and indifferent brutal universe of HSR that requires great kindness, compassion, understanding, belief in other people, ability to see the better in other people and uplift them. And Sunday-follower of Order reflects on that:
"When I appeared as a child, my speech, mindset, and soul reflected immaturity and innocence."
"As I grew into adulthood, I left behind my childlike side."
Sunday (as shown in the quest) was a person of great understanding, compassion, and love for other living beings, full of desire to protect them (bird, Robin, other people). He was able to embrace even the worst people if they would show even the slightest glimpse of desire to redeem themselves and change for the better, like people who allegedly sold their own children. It is notable that he both acts as a follower of Harmony and an enforcer of Order conspiracy because of these very character traits. The motivation is the same, just the choice how to act based on this motivation is different between him and Robin because of different experiences.
As the ardent believer of Harmony, the seed of doubt in his mind was planted ironically by the very followers of the Harmony -the Family. And the disillusionment about Harmony also began, when his belief in other people was tested. When asking Xipe to clear his doubts, Sunday asks three questions:
“Who can judge the strong when their power hides their crimes?”
“Who can vouch for the weak when they will pay any price to survive?”
“If "the strong defending the weak" is truly the foundation of paradise, then who is responsible for the suffering and anguish in this wretched world?”
The questions display that the preached Harmony doesn’t work as intended. The extremely hard ideal to follow was exactly too demanding for numerous people who couldn’t stand up to the responsibility that came with upholding it. Also, as displayed both in the main quest of Penacony and in numerous events and side quests, flaws and imperfections of Family(note: of the Family on Penacony) are numerous. We have an entire “Ode to Fool” in the Grand Theatre about internal bloodthirsty war between the Family, where two of the seven families of Penacony ceased to exist. When even Family: those who preach the Odes of Harmony don’t act as they preach, are not harmonious, don’t show compassion and forgiveness, it is extremely hard to still believe in its teachings. And from that, the belief in people starts to slowly crumble as the very belief in a possibility of a paradise preached by the Xipe, is tested.
That is what turns him to Order. The feeling that while the paradise of Harmony is theoretically possible, how much suffering must people experience before it actually arrives. And when will it arrive? And IF it will arrive? These doubts in human inherent desire to change for the better leads to the idea: “And what if they don’t change? Then why take the risks? Why not to create something that guarantees their safety, happiness and protection?” His desire for Order is still born from his love for humanity.
Ⅱ
And while the shift in beliefs did in fact happen, it wasn’t completed and some beliefs in Harmony remain, alongside doubts about the philosophy of Order.
To prove that, let’s remember the Grand Theatre part of the quest (“Everything that Rises Must Converge”).
Before that Dreammaster has a particularly interesting conversation with Sunday. Sunday not only changes their plan, taking Robin’s place in the plan and then he asks Dreammaster why Penacony was the chosen planet to bring “paradise” of the Order. If he was completely convinced, why would he pose these questions?
Sunday several times brings the part of 107,336 souls of the Oak Family in his monologues. Why? Because he uses them to give self-validation to his beliefs. It comes not only from his desire to grant “paradise” to everyone (and this guys as stated dreamed about the paradise of Order), but also from his self-perceived responsibility as the Head of the Oak Family to stand up to wishes and desires of his subordinates, to protect them, and as the man with greatest position among them, to fulfil the hardest task. Because if people he is in charge of follow and support his views, not only it gives him more belief in his set of beliefs(ha), but also gives him even greater responsibility to prove that their faith in him, in Order is not misplaced.
In first two acts he displays before us shortcomings of the Harmony, trying to display himself as the ardent believer of the Order:
In the first act “Ode to Prisoner” he says that the freedom was not really achieved in Penacony’s great Independence War, posing a doubt that the ideal of Harmony even existed in Penacony since the very beginning.
In the second act “Ode to Fool” the theme of not so harmonic Harmony remains. Sunday talks about internal civil war between the Family, that eradicated two of the seven families on Penacony. How “harmonic” it is!
But in the last and most important act “Ode to Order” has a surprisingly different theme, hidden in it.
It is supposedly talking about the future of Penacony, but there is something more if you listen to its content once again:
General: “Without a ruler who would protect the weak and fight back against the tyrants?”
Chansellor: “We must assist each other in protecting the weak, just as we must assist each other in opposing the tyrannical.”
This dialogue argues that the very measures Sunday preaches, are not required for the coexistence and unification are also an option. Case of how differently Order and Harmony solve one problem.
Jester: “Without a ruler, who will make the stars follow their paths, the tides rise and fall, and allow life to grow?”
C: “These things did as they will long before the ruler appeared, just as they will continue to do with rulers gone.”
Where the Order requires an all-mighty divine king, controlling the world (like God-Emperor of Mankind from Warhammer), Harmony simply says that actually such beings are not needed.
Minister: “However, now that we have bid farewell to our ruler. Who shall take their place?”
C: “We no longer require a ruler, for we were originally all rulers who stand above all things.”
Once again, order preaches about the ruler on the top of everything, the one who has all of the rights and makes all of decisions. But harmony doesn’t work that way. Harmony preaches that if every person has equal rights to enter its paradise, then they are essentially equal. Where Order differentiates people and treats them differently according to THEIR criteria, harmony does not as THEY are all-embracing.
The choice of the position of Chansellor as the one giving answers is deliberate. It is another innuendo on differences between Harmony and Order. In Order king takes the power and pushes everyone under his control. Chancellor, as the representation of Harmony in this argument, is a position not a person. He is subject to change, unlike king. Unlike king, Chancellor is chosen among the people, by the people. He serves as one man being the voice of many people, for they have chosen him as a Chancellor because their ideals are the same and thus, they have entrusted him to fulfil their ideals in reality in their stead.
Some people were not satisfied that the arguments were not posed against Sunday by the Astral Express. Well, this entire act serves as a counter to his arguments, showing the point of view of Harmony arguing against the necessity of ideals of Order. Most importantly, they don’t disprove hid arguments completely, but rather pose a possible alternative take on things.
The Clockwork doesn’t work on puppets because they are “satisfied”. But what gives satisfaction: Order or Harmony? In my opinion, Harmony. Remember: in THEIR paradise there is “peace bestowed, sorrows and strife released.”
The “king” in the text obviously refers to Ena the Order, and the last talk from the “Future” in the act is about “final rites” to the king, that there is no need to seek THEIR existence, nor remember THEM. It illustrates the final confusion of Sunday: if Ena didn’t fight back while being consumed, if the philosophy of Harmony prevailed in the confrontation among the Paths, why try to restore the Order?
And after that particular act he chose to reveal to us the finale of Ena’s story. That THEY were banished to oblivion by the united will of the people who defied Order. And THEIR death was praised alongside praises for the appearance of Harmony – the ideal that prevailed on Penacony in the end.
And that is what actually 3 is actually about. Puppets(Members of the Beyond the Sky Choir) ask what they and everyone else should do after the “king(Ena)” disappeared.
They feel no safety and out of their comfort zone when the one that controlled everything about their lives suddenly disappeared. And Chancellor’s answers are the representation of the ideology of Harmony, that you don’t need to be controlled to strive in life, for that there is more to universe and that the “king” is not actually required for betterment of society, that society can harmonize and evolve on their own, that the unity of people can replace the “king”. Ironically, “the Ode to Order” doesn’t glorify Order but rather disproves it from being the one and only universal truth.
In this act Sunday actually reveals, intended or not, that he doesn’t disprove Harmony’s ideal, that he subconsciously feels that it can stand on par with the ideal of Order.
Then, Sunday poses between us three questions, each one has different answers depending on your set of believes: order or Harmony. Notice, that Sunday doesn’t give his own answers to the questions.
“Is darkness equal to daylight?”
This question is very metaphorical. Radiance and light, eradicating darkness and giving protection to those under the light are a repeated theme in the ideology of the Order (“I shall ascend to the heavens, becoming the scorching sun. Bathed in my light, my people shall flourish, while all evil shall be eradicated” / “Those who live in the shadows do not bear the right to tread the illuminated stage.” / “I now permit you to gaze into the sun [hardest line in the game btw]”) But radiance is also a term sometimes used to describe Xipe. The greatest difference lies in the fact that what Order will not tolerate (“darkness”), harmony will be able to co-exist with and eventually embrace. So for Order they are different, but for Harmony not at all.
“Are sinners equal to the righteous?”
Order punishes the unjust and uplifts the righteous. For it, they are not equal. But for Harmony they are, mostly because before Xipe the very concept of sinners doesn’t exist. Harmony is all-embracing, for everyone can change for the better and be redeemed.
It is a discourse in philosophy: first question was about whether are you able to tolerate something that goes against you. While Harmony can, Order cannot (Sunday can as literally shown in the quest so he leans more to Harmony in that part). Second question was about whether people can change for the better and be redeemed. Order doesn’t believe in it, Harmony does.
“If you are born weak, which god should you turn for solace?”
It is another question to choose between philosophies because Sunday struggles to choose himself. If you are weak and you bow before someone(“king”) for the protection then this is a choice befitting Order, but if you choose to cooperate with others, uplift one another and “listen beating of billions of hearts holding you on their embrace” then this is the choice of Harmony.
Notice, that Sunday doesn’t consider us as enemies at all. As he says: “I genuinely wish to avoid a violent clash with my esteemed guests from afar.” When Astral Express team asks Sunday why did he invite us to the duel, he responds: “Because our shared goals give equal weight to the beliefs we strive for.” He regards everything happening more like a debate of two equally valid philosophies. Even in the fight with him (second one) he still invites us to join his chorus of Order. And he says “our final talk is concluded” only when he turns into his Embryo of Philosophy form, when literally everyone who could has risen against him. And then he reveals his true emotions:
“If your ‘paradise’ can save more people, sever my path with your hands”
He knows he is not infallible, that his plan can be wrong, that there is a possibility of making better choices, better decisions. And he asks us to prove, that Harmony after all is a stronger concept then that of Order. And his quote before that really makes everything extremely ironic:
“If we had never experienced solitude, how could we embark on different paths?”
Once again, this solitude refers to the times when he still completely followed Harmony. Yet he was the only person on the entire Penacony because of his great compassion, who actually followed what Xipe preached. Yet, in this he was alone. How can you be in Harmony with anyone, if you are alone. The irony is in the fact, that if Robin didn’t leave Penacony, of if he met another genuine believer, he wouldn’t have turn to Order and he would remain under Xipe. With many similarities of Order and Harmony: the epitome of Order is loneliness, being a sole ruler of everything, the epitome of Harmony is a unity of numerous people.
“And thus, my talk about Sunday has concluded. Next part is about Ena.”
Ⅲ
While his monologue about history of Ena can also be interpreted as parts above, it is much more interesting to discuss it when talking about Ena THEMSELVES.
“Let us commence with the dawning of the world… After the Dusk Wars, darkness veiled the sky, and chaos consumed the earth. Ena the Order emerged, destined to restore all existence. That marked the first day.”
The Dusk Wars are one of the most ancient (if not the most) periods of history we know about. Ena emerging at that time, makes THEM one of the oldest Aeons alongside Long, Hooh, Qlipoth and Oroboros.
” THEY gathered nebulae and forged them into picks, thus creating a grand lyre with black and white keys. Strike the white keys, and the sun rose. Strike the black keys moon and the rose. And so the cycle of day and night arose. That marked the second day. “
“THEY transmuted streams of stars into inked nibs, creating symbols to be pronounced and counted. THEY molded stardust into flowing rivers, assigning the righteous upstream and the unjust downstream. Thus, all things were marked and the world learned to discern between good and evil. That marked the third and fourth days. “
“THEY used the planetary rings to establish the law, forging a code of conduct among the masses. A grand lyre with black and white symbols of articulation and numerical notation took the form of musical notes. The downward-flowing river became a melody, and the cannon of law dictated the form. Thus, all mortals found their unique place within this symphony. That marked the fifth and sixth days. “
Ena, as we know was a control freak, at much bigger scale and extent, then Sunday could have ever hoped to become. We know that «Ena's harmonic songs seems to align within a three-dimensional framework, akin to an emperor maintaining hierarchical order among all creatures» Not only people, but the movement of celestial bodies were under THEIR control. THEY wanted to and almost controlled everything in the known cosmos. So, THEY were the only person responsible for everything. And when THEY were consumed, the manager of everything disappeared and the scales of order and discord lost their balance. That is why Hooh intervened and took THEIR responsibilities.
“THEY imbued world with meaning, perfecting all things in the heavens and earth. Then, THEY rested from the labors of creation. Yet, all beings cried to Ena – ‘Under the banner of the Order, you have defined all things in the Cosmos… but this made us realize that we are but puppets in your hands!’ – Thus, on that day, all beings united and cast the Aeon into the abyss of oblivion. That marked the seventh day. “
And this is the most interesting part. We know that Ena was consumed by Xipe, so why does Sunday refer to THEIR death as an action, made by humans?
As we know, Xipe “hails from multiple harmonious celestial words”, “a plural Aeon” and “THEY are the amalgamation of thousands of entities”. Thus, I pose that Xipe ascension was not a process of accension of a one person who somehow become an Aeon, but rather that several beings in a moment of unity (of “harmony”) were ascending as one. Next bit is purely theoretical:
But who could provide such unity before the existence of Harmony? Only the Beyond the Sky Choir – followers of Ena could understand the true extent of Ena’s control over everything and unify to create a change. Thus, mortals ascended into Aeon, befitting their shared beliefs, and from the Beyond the Sky Choir, Xipe arose with a new symphony of Harmony.
ⅠⅤ
Also, some other interesting bits from 2.2. storyline:
The most overlooked part of 2.2 quest for me is that part before boss battle when Sunday says that he doesn’t intend to either resurrect Ena or become a new Aeon of Order. While the actual possibility of such actions remains “enigmatic, we can now speculate that it could be possible to take control of a masterless Path or revive its master. I speculate that when we finally reach strongest Emanators level of poweallies/etc. the enemies we will be facing before actual Aeons will be unique beings like that: fallen Aeons in the process of resurrection or people in the process of becoming a new Aeon of a Path without one.
Another interesting bit of lore about Ena is that while she was “consumed” by Xipe, her Path still lingers in the cosmos masterless. While it was known about Paths of other fallen Aeons it is interesting that even assimilation by a broader concept Aeon isn’t enough to completely eradicate the Path from the face of the cosmos.
Some other connections that I noticed about Sunday while rewatching 2.2 quest were surprising even for me. Name a planet where the ruler intentionally left their subordinates in ignorance about the truth about the events for the sole reason of protecting them? It’s Belobog with Bronya and Seele (I could talk about similarities and differences of Bronya and Sunday but that would make already long post even longer). And this is why Ena was able to persuade Qlipoth. Because Qlipoth shares with THEM that general theme of protection. Because their Paths partly overlap. Because Preservation is about keeping everything dangerous behind the walls (in this case dangerous information about Cocolia), and everything inside the walls is safe, protected, or you could say “in Order”.
Ⅴ
P.S. I feel like in this quest there is still so much more to discuss(and I could write EVEN MORE), but this long wall of text is already too out of character from me as a humble follower of Enigmata.

For those who aren’t, there is a woman who is creating videos on all socials stating that her cruise was cancelled the day before it left, she showed up to the port anyway, they informed her it had been cancelled online and that her suite was booked by someone else hours later. They apparently could only offer her tow inside rooms at the port and allegedly didn’t offer to give money back (although I’m not sure how they could at the actual port). She declined, wasn’t allowed to board obviously and Al legedly has not been refunded or offered a refund yet. She’s posted her boarding passes and proof it was paid but there are numerous holes in the story that she doesn’t seem to clear up with any video. I’m not sure what her goal is with all the fanfare, but it’s created quite a buzz. I’m not on either side but just genuinely curious what could have happened if she is correctly telling all of the story. I’m a little hung up on why you’d go to the port and immediately film yourself for Facebook and TikTok. But I get it was $15,000 suite, they flew down and they are upset.

Traded in my old device when upgrading to a new phone. Was told to expect credit up to $800+ within 2-3 billing cycles. The device was in perfect condition, so I was expecting to receive that credit.
Two months passed, no news—followed up via chat, was told to wait a couple more cycles.
Another two months passed, no news—followed up via chat, was told they were missing some info on the old phone, and the refund was never going to get processed if I didn't follow up. Fine, provided info, also thought to confirm the amount of the refund, got EXPLICIT, yes in writing, confirmation that all $800+ credit would be refunded in 36 installments. The months that had passed would be provided as a lump sum, within 2-3 billing cycles.
Another two months passed with no news. I followed up via chat and was told FOR THE FIRST TIME that I do not qualify for the $800+ credit because I do not have a qualifying plan. At this point, I asked to speak to a real person. After spending an hour on the phone and considering the facts that 1) I was indeed informed (via the usual long terms and conditions that you scroll through and click 'yes' at the end) at trade-in that only certain plans are qualifying, 2) a significant amount of time has passed with no voluntary communications from ATT, and 3) I was promised the entire $800+ credit in writing by an AT&T representative, AT&T agreed to provide me with a credit of $400+ (half the initial amount). I asked for a confirmation, received a text, and was told the credit would show up in a few business days. I thought the matter was closed.
THE NEXT DAY, I received a text message stating that the credit was under review and was asked to call AT&T. I called and, after an hour's wait, spoke to a representative. I was then told the "system" (direct quote) rejected the request submitted by the representative I spoke to yesterday. I asked if the person who approved it yesterday could override it. The representative answered no, stating that we have to work under the "system." I asked if someone within AT&T could override the "system." The answer I received was basically "no." The representative was adamant that there was nothing they could do about the "system" not letting the credit go through.
I am on the phone with the supervisor now—will see how this goes (TO BE CONTINUED).