Friend and his long-term partner have been living in Chicago for 2 years and leave to go back home to Mexico on Friday (in 4 days). I honestly just don’t know what to get him.
He’s younger (28) and likes to travel, has a Shnauzer, likes to try different foods, plays piano, has a few tattoos. Wife teaches piano lessons. They have house plants in the apartment as well. They don’t have a lot of money. I want to get them both a gift, but his is more important. Also, his plan is to keep singing Opera, of course, but hasn’t found another Opera house to perform at yet so his future is “up in the air”, if that‘s relevant. But he has a beautiful voice so I have no doubt he will find a new place. He is a Soprano as well.
Would like the gift to be something material he can bring with him (not a meal, tickets to a show/museum etc…) and it would be nice if it were something musical themed/artistic, but doesn’t necessarily have to be.
Ideas I’ve thought of so far: an Italian theater mask, a hand-crafted wooden pen with musical theme (piano, guitar etc), Ugg gloves or nice scarf (in case he ends up somewhere cold in the future), a nice cologne (just don’t know which one). For her, I‘ll get something simple. Matching gifts could be nice too. Price range is up to $300 for him and up to $100 for her.
Any help would be greatly appreciated, of course.

The wife is looking for a new bike.
She is considering the 2023 Cannondale Scalpel Carbon 3 (100/100 mm travel, Lefty 8 and Ai Offset). Here are the specs: https://taxo.ec/producto/scalpel-carbon-3/
The bike price is $3500 because they are clearing the warehouse for the 2024 models.
The wife has been recovering from a lower pain lesson she suffered last year. The Doctor gave her the green light to return to practice MTB.
I live nearby mountains so the are lots of long climbs and descents. The roads consist of pavement, fire roads, dirt roads and some trails. Her rides usually go from 20 to 40 Miles.
The wife doesn't do any jumps or drops. She doesn't go to bike parks either.
The wife tried the bike and she felt in love with how efficient, responsive and light (12 Kg) this bike is.
I'm concerned about:

1. The longevity of the proprietary parts: Lefty 8, Ai offset, BB, crankset
2. The costs of maintenance
3. The fork and shock travel (100mm both) being too short for the roads where we live
4. Possible back pains since this bike would demand an aggressive position due to its racing DNA.
5. The costs of upgrades: brakes, carbon wheels, Dropper, Tubeless Setup

Could you please give me a hand with your comments, advices or experiences that may come handy?
I'm also open to explore other brands/models recommendations.

I am STILL NOT the Original Poster. That is u/ta-bff-234324. He posted in AITAH and amiwrong but posted the same text in both subreddits. I chose to use the ones from AITAH
Thanks again to u/Literally_Taken for the rec and to Choice Evidence and u/chickenoodledeprived for letting me know about the update!
Previous BORU here. New update marked with ****\*
Trigger Warning: racism
Mood Spoiler: tentatively happy ending
Original Post: April 1, 2024
My (29M) best friend Jess (29F) keeps on mentioning my ex (29F) in front of my fiancee, and I am thinking of cutting her off. I want to know if I am overreacting, or if Jess is in the wrong.
For context, Jess and I went to the same high school and the same college. We were friends in high school. However, since we both went to the same out-of-state college, we became best friends since then. We have always been there for each other during the best and worst times. However, things have always been platonic, and she is more like a big sister to me, who made sure I stay on the right track.
I have only been in two long-term relationships so far. One was with my ex Lisa for 7 years. We met in college and dated all through our college years. Lisa and Jess also became good friends, too. After college, Lisa and I just grew apart and had different goals in life. I became "boring" after college as I was working on my PhD while doing a full time job. Lisa broke up with me as she wanted to party on weekends, while I was home studying. I was heartbroken, but I don't think I ever blamed her or had resentment towards her, as I understood my decisions were selfish and should not hold her back from having the best life.
Jess always stood by me and comforted me during that time. Jess and Lisa were good friends and Jess always kept on telling me that Lisa loves me and will be back one day when I am ready. I foolishly held on to that hope and stayed friends with Lisa. That was until I met my fiancee Yang. After I finished my PhD, I got a nice job in a big tech company. Yang joined our team a year after me. We started going out for drinks, and dinner and we started dating seriously pretty soon. We are happy together, and financially in a great place. Needless to say, I stopped talking to Lisa after I started dating Yang.
I proposed to Yang a year after we started dating and got engaged last year. Jess has been acting weirdly since we got engaged. One of the first things she said to Yang after we got engaged was how I had planned the same thing for Lisa (proposing on a local hiking trail). It was a bit off-putting that she was bringing up Lisa whom I broke up with almost 5 years ago on such a happy occasion. However, Yang asked me to not spoil my mood, as she felt Jess was just commenting on how I had that plan in mind for years. Since then, every time we meet, Jess without fail brings up Lisa and how the things I am doing are all the things I had planned with Lisa. This happened when we bought a house, planned for vacations, etc. Jess always starts with some nostalgic story and then brings up how Lisa and I were so happy together. She is still good friends with Lisa and keeps giving me updates about Lisa and how great Lisa is doing at work when no one is asking for it. It felt like she was painting a rosy picture of Lisa to Yang and telling Yang that she would always be second to Lisa.
Yang told me Jess's comments bothered her, and I also felt the same. I have brought this up with Jess many times and asked her not to do it. However, she says she will try but since I dated Lisa for 7 years, she would be part of many stories from the past. Also, she asked me why talking about Lisa bothers me and if I still have feelings for her. I have reduced hanging out with Jess. However, she is close with my mom and is always invited to all our family parties and holidays.
I talked to my mom and sister about this and they feel I am overreacting. They feel Jess is just telling stories and since the stories are mostly from college days and later, Lisa will be a character in the story. They also feel I should not be bothered by Jess mentioning Lisa since we broke up a long time ago. I feel that it's disrespectful to Yang as she doesn't need to hear about all the fun Lisa and I had when we were together and how we were planning to get married. Do you think I am the asshole to stop here or Jess is truly acting out of line?
Relevant Comments:
Commenter: Probably need to separate your time with your fiancé away from your friend. ... On a side note, your friend comes across poorly on one other aspect. When you were too busy to date so you could study. She is encouraging you to stay available while your ex goes about dating around? Think she ever encouraged your ex to not? Or do you think she was telling your ex she could have all the fun she wanted cause you'd still be around? Food for thought.

OOP: She thought we were 24 when we broke up and she always justified that Lisa was young and it's natural to date around before you settle down. She also encouraged me to do the same. However, after my breakup, I decided that I would not be in a relationship (based on what happened to the previous one) and never dated anyone until after I graduated.

Commenter: Not wrong, in fact it's thoughtful of your finace's feelings. " Jess always kept on telling me that Lisa loves me and will be back one day when I am ready." - yikes.
An easy: "Jess, you keep bringing up my ex, and keep making comments which are dismissive of my relationship with Yang. I am telling you point blank that this is harming our friendship and it saddens me that you dismiss my feelings as being unimportant on this topic. If you can't respect me, and my relationship with Yang, please understand why it will likely end our friendship."

OOP: We have had this exact conversation. Jess then proceeded to ask Yang is she offended by her telling stories about me. Yang was polite and said she is ok. Then she told me I am being too sensitive.

Commenter: Op do you know if Lisa is married? Maybe Jess is trying to sabotage your engagement so you can be with Lisa.

OOP: I know Lisa is single. She has not been in any serious long term relationship after me. Infant, Jess always makes it a point to bring that up regularly and update me, even after I tell her I have no interest. My mom loves gossip and they also discuss a out Lisa regularly.

Jess is just being a mean girl/have you talked to Lisa at all?
At this point, I suspect Jess is just being mean to Yang. I would have cut her off long ago if she was not so close to me or my family for so many years.
Lisa is out of the picture, to be honest. I have completely gone no contact with her for the last 2 years.
Jess has feelings for you:
That's not true. I did not write it since I thought it was irrelevant, but Jess is happily married and has a 3 year old kid.
There is no consensus bot on AITAH, but top comments were NTA
Update Post: April 23, 2024 (22 days later)
I wrote a post a month ago regarding my friend Jess mentioning my ex constantly in front of my fiancée. Thanks to everyone who commented, and how inappropriate it was. However, the last month has been nothing but crazy and I still trying to make sense of what happened so far.
After my post, I decided to talk to Jess and gave her an ultimatum not to speak about my ex Lisa again. I know Jess and Lisa are still friends, but I was uncomfortable of her comparing my fiancée Yang with Lisa all the time. I broke up with Lisa 5 years ago, and she is nothing but a faint memory in my past. Jess kept on defending herself and telling me that I was with Lisa for most of my adult life and it's hard to tell any stories from the past without including her. She also blamed me for being emotionally childish and just forgetting about Lisa when she was with me for 7 years. Finally, Jess agreed that she will not bring up Lisa in front of Yang, and I should also not treat Lisa as she does not exist since she is still Jess's friend. I informed Yang about our conversation. Although she was appreciative about it, she said I did not need to do it and she knows how much I love her and every time Jess brings up my Lisa, she feels sorry for Lisa that she let a guy like me go.
Yang went to visit China two weeks ago for a month as we plan to get married in her hometown. She is taking care of her shopping as well as preparations for the wedding. Jess invited me to her house that Friday for dinner as I was home alone. I am also good friends with her husband, and we were all just chatting and drinking in the living room. Around 7.30pm, the doorbell rang, and Jess excitedly went to open the door. To my surprise, it was fucking Lisa at the door. She was all dressed up as if she were ready for a date and came in. I had not seen her in person for almost 3 years and I was shocked to see her. She sat down and started making small talk with me. I was extremely uncomfortable and went into the kitchen to talk to Jess. I was angry at her and asked her what was going on. She kept on telling me that it's been 5 years since the breakup and to get over it and be nice to Lisa. She said Lisa was excited to meet me and she thought we were all adults and could have one fun evening together. We had a fight and I told her that she should not have invited Lisa after our conversation the other day and I do not want to be friends with her anymore. I went into the living room and politely excused myself and told everyone that I had a work emergency and had to leave early. Lisa looked sad, but I genuinely felt uncomfortable to be made to hang out with my ex without my consent.
I came home and called Yang. I have never seen her more furious, and she told me she is not comfortable with Jess anymore as she has some agenda that we do not know about. It's different to talk about Lisa, but to invite her without consulting is not ok. I also felt the same and I called Jess the next day and told her that she crossed a line, and I was terribly upset with her. I stopped taking her calls and ghosted her. I also told my mom and sister about the whole incident.
Last Sunday, my mom called me for lunch. When I got there, I saw Jess was already there. I told my mom that I do not want to talk to Jess and can't stay. However, she asked me to sit as they all wanted to talk to me. I have a glutton for punishment and decided to hear them out. My mom started with how Jess has been there for me all these years and only has my best interest at heart. She kept on telling me that they are the three people (mom, sister, and Jess) that love me the most. Jess started saying how she felt that I was making a big mistake in not having to hear what Lisa had to say. She told me that Lisa was my first love and Lisa is now ready to settle down and we can pick where we left off. She reminded me how broken I was when Lisa left me and how life is giving me a second chance. My sister also chimed in and said how they all liked Lisa more than Yang and how we both looked so great together. Finally, my mom started saying how our culture was so different than Yang and it is hard for them to relate to her. I asked them in what way, and my mom said that they did not understand what Yang says sometimes and have nothing in common with her. Then my mom asked me to think about how Lisa and I would have such wonderful looking kids, while if I marry Yang, our kids will look so different. I started getting their drift and I probed more. My mom told me how our kids would look Asian with "small eyes" and not like any others in the family.
I asked my mom if she cared about my kids looks more and not about how smart they will be since Yang has a PhD. She blew it off, and I realized she just did not want me to marry Yang because she was Chinese and not white. My mom told me to forgive Jess and my mom asked Jess to talk to Lisa on my behalf and asked her if she would be interested in getting back together with me. My mom was adamant that since I loved Lisa so much, I should be happy and pick up things where we left off as that is the best for everyone. I have never been so angry and may have said a lot of unkind things to all of them before I left
I am so depressed right now. I not only lost my best friend, but also am not sure how I can move on from what my mom said. My mom and sister raised me and that is the reason where I am today. However, I cannot get over how racist they are being and how they were just pretending to like Yang all these years while actively working on breaking us up. I have been so shocked that I have not told any of this to Yang so far. I might wait for her to come back next week and talk to her in person.
Again, thanks everyone for all your messages on the last post as they helped me a lot to think through the situation. My life is more fucked up than I could imagine, and I cannot imagine how dejected Yang will feel after hearing all this.
*****New Update Post: May 7, 2024 (5 weeks after OG post)****\*
I wrote a post two months ago regarding my best friend Jess constantly bringing up my ex when talking to my fiancée Yang. I wrote an update two weeks ago about my mom, sister and Jess scheming about trying to get me back with my ex Lisa because they were uncomfortable with Yang being Chinese. They tried to do it when my fiancée was visiting her parents and I felt so betrayed by their actions.
As I said in the previous post, I blew up on my mom and sister about what they said and immediately left. I did not take calls from them or answer texts for the next several days. Their messages initially were anger towards me on why I left before they could finish what they wanted to say. However, I think they realized on day 3 that they might have crossed the line this time and became extremely apologetic. I finally messaged them to leave me alone and not to contact Yang or I until we contact them. Jess did not message me the whole time.
I did not tell Yang about the situation until she came back home 9 days ago. I initially did not know how to bring up the subject, but she sensed something was wrong and asked me about it. I was so worried about hurting her, but I told her about what happened. I was upfront about the stunt Jess pulled and she was angry at Jess. I also told her about my visit to my mother's place, but she did not react with any anger. She just asked me if I was ok.
The next few days were confusing where I was more upset than Yang. She was just excited showing me all pictures and telling me stories. Finally, on last Thursday evening, she opened up and asked me if I was ok about my mom's behavior and what I plan to do. I told her my thoughts and how I cannot forgive them for what they said about her being Asian and them wanting me to marry a Lisa because she was white. I asked her why she was not more upset as it was bothering me.
She told me that when she told her parents about me, they had the exact same reaction for her dating someone who was not Chinese. Her family is very traditional, and her parents were very upset about her decision. It took them a few months to warm up to me and accept me. She never told me about this because she wanted me to have good relationship with her parents. She told me that now they are the most excited doing arrangements for our wedding.
She told me that she has always felt something was off when she talked to my mom, my sister or Jess and they did not like her. My mom and sister would be very friendly with her in front of me, but never invited her for anything when I am not around. She suspected that it may be due to fact that she is not white and does not understand the American traditions. She said she is not upset with them and now that this is in the open, she should talk to them and assure them that she would be as good of a wife as Lisa or any other girl. She said that she does not want to break a family in order to start a new one.
Despite my protests, Yang invited my mom and sister for lunch on Sunday. She said that it would be good for us to talk about everything and hear why they are concerned about her marrying me. I was really not happy with this, but Yang spent most of Sunday morning cooking for them.
When my mom and sister arrived, there were a lot of waterworks and apologies. My mom apologized to Yang and me for her behavior and told us that she would never bring it up again. My sister also was quiet and had tears in her eyes. There were a lot of blame games. My mom and my sister were blaming Jess for constantly telling them how Yang might not be great for me and how she won't fit into our family. My mom and sister fought with Jess after I left and Jess blamed Lisa. Based on Jess's story, Lisa has been depressed for the last few years and when I suddenly got engaged to Yang, it became worse. Jess thought I was also depressed after Lisa left me, because I did not date anyone for 3 years. In reality, I just wanted to focus on my work and studies and never had time. So, Lisa convinced Jess that she has to get back together with me as that is what I wanted too. Jess said how sorry she felt for Lisa as she was her longtime friend and listened to her plan as she thought it was good for everyone.
My mom and sister told us that I should stay away from Jess because she orchestrated the whole situation. They kept on hugging Yang and apologizing to her. Yang in turn also started crying and telling them that she will do better to fit in with them. It was all a big mess. I am still skeptical of my mom's change in heart, but I also want to see Yang happy. However, I think it will take a lot of time and healing before I could truly trust my mom and sister.
Currently, my mom invited us to lunch at her place next week and told me that Jess will not be there. Jess has still not message me or Yang. I really don't know what I can do in this situation. I am still upset and furious at my mom, but I also want to respect Yang's effort to keep the family together. Thanks to everyone for all the messages and supportive comments. It really helped reading them when I was feeling very sad.

I hope mods will allow me to post this.
I hope to end this topic for once and for all.
I feel like by being a virgin you will draw the short straw in marriage in today's time. I have been through the retroactive sub and observed that retroactive jealousy is a condition that lasts for your life time if you are with someone with a past rocher than yours. You will have to deal with it or get separated with your partner if you can't deal with it, In most cases people with retroactive jealousy till their life or relationship ends.
Now in muslim marriages since past is supposed to be hidden. It comes out one way or another after marriage. When this happens then the spouse which was virgin before marriage has to suffer and face the pain alone.
Imams and shaykhs being compassionate allow people who were fornicators and give them hope. Nothing wrong with this, but it comes at the expense of people who didn't have any past of their own.
Since I am a man I will tell you how men usually deal with this.
1, Divorce 2, second wife 3, cheat
1, divorce - first of all it is expensive and even more harder when children are involved. In today's times Divorce is a taboo and divorcees will have to face difficulty in finding good matches. Especially in muslim community.
2, second wife- most women don't want to deal with polygny, finances and the laws make it harder to get a second wife.
3, cheat- cheating is haraam and if opens the door for Fitnah, it doesn't solve any problem but instead creates new problems.
Now if you were chaste and get married to a spouse who had a past. Then it will haunt you for the rest of your life. You get stuck in a loveless marriage. Your piety, taqwa and eman taken a hit. The fear of being lied to if you put your deal-breaker for marriage and being shamed for. It for wanting a virgin spouse puts fuel to the fire.
Those who don't suffer from retroactive jealousy. Let me tell you how it feels like. Imagine 1000 daggers poking you at the same time you think about your spouse. Trust me such a person can never love you or trust you after knowing your past(if you have a haraam past).
If it was upnto me then I would rather be burnt alive rather than getting married to someone with a past. Because I know that such a marriage will be the cause of a pain which will last forever.

My (35m) wife (35f) and I make more than I ever could have imagined (250k HHI, double what we were making just 4 years ago) yet it I can’t shake the feeling of being “poor” because her spending / never ending desire of big ticket “needs” is stressing me out.
This has been amplified after moving from our starter house in the city to our new build “forever” home in the suburbs. The house is beautiful and we have great neighbours with similar aged kids but it’s taking up too much time and money to maintain for my liking. More importantly it just feels like my wife will never feel content with our own home since she’s always comparing to the neighbours who a) all seem to be at least 5 years older than us b) moved in two years before we did so have a head start on things like interior decorating/landscaping and c) have just flat out spent more than we have and thus I’ll always feel this way despite being in A beautiful home and in the best financial shape of our life.
Off the top of my head, in the past 18 months we’ve have spent 8k on a fence, 3k on window treatments for two rooms, 5k on a mattresses, 4k on a second car, and 5k on lasik. All things that we “needed” but just seems like it’s never ending and leading to more expensive purchases. Now she wants deck and 100k backyard.
We’re saving a decent amount, albeit about 80% of total retirement savings have been in my accounts despite her income being 33% more than mine. I just hate this feeling of non-stop spending when we could be better securing our future. Ive been raising this to our therapist for years but my wife just can’t stop and/or doesn’t seem to care.
The stress led to a mental health breakdown recently in part due to my wife’s spending but also some personal reasons (stress from my job, my niece turned 14, which was the age I was when my dad died to obesity (caused by family, work, and financial stress), and my mom started chemotherapy and I was exposed to her awful financial picture, despite having a paid off house and decent pension).
It’s not all bad financially with my wife so it would be a disservice not to mention the following things that I consider myself lucky to have in a spouse. 1. She’s smart and makes good money 2. She never spends what we don’t have (goes into debt) 3. Her desire for more was the extrinsic motivation that led to increased incomes for both of us, but i thought the saving would continue after we had enough for the new house. Unfortunately, it’s just turned into lifestyle creep.
My main goal is living life to the fullest (heavy on experiences, less so on material possessions) and teaching my daughter a healthy and active lifestyle. Should I be this stressed with our financial picture? Am I just being paranoid? Maybe I need to stay off all these money forums? Or do I need to give my wife some sort of ultamatim about getting on the same page financially if she wants to stay together?
HHI: 250,000 Monthly Net: 11,000 (after taxes, health insurance, 401k, hsa, and dependent care fsa)
Major Expenses Mortgage: 4000 (640,000 remaining, pmt includes P&I, home insurance, and taxes) Daycare: 1300 Grocery/Gas: 600 Utilities: 400 Cleaner: 250 Cars: 0
Retirement Accounts: 152,000 (401k, 403, HSA) Cash: 20,000 Brokerage: 17,000 Monthly Retirement Savings: 3,333 Monthly Sinking Fund Savings: 800

I hope mods will allow me to post this.
I hope to end this topic for once and for all.
I feel like by being a virgin you will draw the short straw in marriage in today's time. I have been through the retroactive sub and observed that retroactive jealousy is a condition that lasts for your life time if you are with someone with a past rocher than yours. You will have to deal with it or get separated with your partner if you can't deal with it, In most cases people with retroactive jealousy till their life or relationship ends.
Now in muslim marriages since past is supposed to be hidden. It comes out one way or another after marriage. When this happens then the spouse which was virgin before marriage has to suffer and face the pain alone.
Imams and shaykhs being compassionate allow people who were fornicators and give them hope. Nothing wrong with this, but it comes at the expense of people who didn't have any past of their own.
Since I am a man I will tell you how men usually deal with this.
1, Divorce 2, second wife 3, cheat
1, divorce - first of all it is expensive and even more harder when children are involved. In today's times Divorce is a taboo and divorcees will have to face difficulty in finding good matches. Especially in muslim community.
2, second wife- most women don't want to deal with polygny, finances and the laws make it harder to get a second wife.
3, cheat- cheating is haraam and if opens the door for Fitnah, it doesn't solve any problem but instead creates new problems.
Now if you were chaste and get married to a spouse who had a past. Then it will haunt you for the rest of your life. You get stuck in a loveless marriage. Your piety, taqwa and eman taken a hit. The fear of being lied to if you put your deal-breaker for marriage and being shamed for. It for wanting a virgin spouse puts fuel to the fire.
Those who don't suffer from retroactive jealousy. Let me tell you how it feels like. Imagine 1000 daggers poking you at the same time you think about your spouse. Trust me such a person can never love you or trust you after knowing your past(if you have a haraam past).
If it was upnto me then I would rather be burnt alive rather than getting married to someone with a past. Because I know that such a marriage will be the cause of a pain which will last forever.

I hope mods will allow me to post this.
I hope to end this topic for once and for all.
I feel like by being a virgin you will draw the short straw in marriage in today's time. I have been through the retroactive sub and observed that retroactive jealousy is a condition that lasts for your life time if you are with someone with a past rocher than yours. You will have to deal with it or get separated with your partner if you can't deal with it, In most cases people with retroactive jealousy till their life or relationship ends.
Now in muslim marriages since past is supposed to be hidden. It comes out one way or another after marriage. When this happens then the spouse which was virgin before marriage has to suffer and face the pain alone.
Imams and shaykhs being compassionate allow people who were fornicators and give them hope. Nothing wrong with this, but it comes at the expense of people who didn't have any past of their own.
Since I am a man I will tell you how men usually deal with this.
1, Divorce 2, second wife 3, cheat
1, divorce - first of all it is expensive and even more harder when children are involved. In today's times Divorce is a taboo and divorcees will have to face difficulty in finding good matches. Especially in muslim community.
2, second wife- most women don't want to deal with polygny, finances and the laws make it harder to get a second wife.
3, cheat- cheating is haraam and if opens the door for Fitnah, it doesn't solve any problem but instead creates new problems.
Now if you were chaste and get married to a spouse who had a past. Then it will haunt you for the rest of your life. You get stuck in a loveless marriage. Your piety, taqwa and eman taken a hit. The fear of being lied to if you put your deal-breaker for marriage and being shamed for. It for wanting a virgin spouse puts fuel to the fire.
Those who don't suffer from retroactive jealousy. Let me tell you how it feels like. Imagine 1000 daggers poking you at the same time you think about your spouse. Trust me such a person can never love you or trust you after knowing your past(if you have a haraam past).
If it was upnto me then I would rather be burnt alive rather than getting married to someone with a past. Because I know that such a marriage will be the cause of a pain which will last forever.

I need emergency milk substitutes for newborn kittens, my wife brought in a pregnant stray cat this morning because the neighbor dog is a cat killer. Well, I never expected that she would give birth literally the same exact day but here we are. After the kittens were born i noticed that she wasnt feeding them and as far as i can tell she has no milk whatsoever (her nipples are normal and there is clearly no milk in them at all).
Everywhere is closed until the morning and im losing my shit here because i read that kittens will die in a matter of hours without feeding, so what do i do?
I have baby formula for my son but i heard thats dangerous so im scared to try it, but i need to do something because i cant just sit back and let these poor babies die after i just helped bring them into this world. Do i give them formula until the morning or what do i do?

I was living in Noida at the time in a rented flat and only would be home once in a while. The landlord would only text on the 1st to remind me of the rent due and duly acknowledge the payment. Very rarely did he call if ever. One of those days, he asked me to not pay rent online and instead meet his wife at the local market and give her cash. Yada Yada Yada met her in the bazaar, paid cash and went about my day. Later that evening, my phone buzzed and it was the wife. She wanted to tell me I was a polite guy and it felt good to meet someone who spoke to softly and focused only on the matter at hand. I was happy. She would regularly text after that and at one point revealed how she was jealous of her sister who lived close by. It was apparently because she was having good sex and the wife wasn't. I was surprised really if not much else. It was such a bizarre thing to say. She then proceeded to send me some of her photographs and we discussed some "things" in detail. It was slightly difficult for me to accept mentally but I decided to go on as the things went.
Cut to my last day at the flat and she texts me she is downstairs. I check through the window and sure she is there. Says hi. I was flattered if you ask me. Then she just leaves. Case closed. No communication after until one fine my facebook messenger buzzes with a message. I say I wanted to do this and that and yada yada yada. She was surprised beyond measure and I completely blanked out.
Ladies, Gentlemen and everyone else : It was her husband all along who had been sharing photos and talking smack. I felt something eerie up my spine and life has not been the same since.

Little Author's Note up here since it was missed in the last chapter by some people: I don't approve of anyone "narrating" or using my story for their youtube channels or whatever as it makes me uncomfortable. I’ve been getting messages whenever I post a chapter asking the same thing and I keep saying no. If you see this story on youtube or elsewhere, I didn’t approve of it or give them my permission to do so.
Cerelia, Altrin Female, Captain of The Opal Star
I smirk at my wrist data pad as I can see Triwt is basically hunting and chasing down the remaining pirates while expertly leading them to me for a trap.
“Triwt, you know me so well.” I say with a fully smug tone as I ready my rifle and prepare to open fire.
Not yet
The footsteps are getting louder.
Not yet…
The footsteps, given how good my hearing is, have now rounded the corner and there’s a shriek of terror.
“Boys! Turn back and save your damn Captain! The damn girl has me!”
I can’t help but smirk, it seems the ugly bastard did come aboard the ship. What’s better is that Triwt has grabbed him, leaving the remaining 4 pirates not looking this way.
Now.
Triwt, Female Valis-Trobat Hybrid, Security Commander
I’m slightly annoyed as I have to constantly weave and dodge going through the corridor. These dumb asses aren’t even aiming where they're shooting. I quickly duck low to the ground to dodge a barrage of plasma bolts, when I hear the one thing I was looking forward to. Click click click…
Silence follows the clicking of empty TOR’s besides the frantic running. It’s then replaced by one of the pirates, not the Captain, shrieking as she runs ahead of the others in a panic. In no sense am I a sadistic person, but however in this situation, I might have smiled a bit to her reaction as I pick up the pace and quickly enter melee range.
Hm, maybe we can afford one prisoner…
I see the corner coming up as I whip my body around and grab the Captain with my tail.
EWWWW He’s all slimy and mucusy! Goddess this is worse than Jordan Cores bleeding on my fur. EWWW!!!
“Boys! Turn back and save your damn Captain! The damn girl has me!”
Despite my own internal hatred of the sensation of having to get that gross slime like mucus on my tail of all things, I still pull the Captain back as they round the corner looking back at me as they abandon their captain. I give them a wave right before a hail of gunfire shreds through them, leaving only a fine mist.
I’m surprised Cerelia is allowed to even own such a modified weapon. I can’t even shoot it while holding it with all 4 of my arms due to the recoil! She says it’s registered as a ceremonial weapon. I suppose a sudden funeral is a ceremony in itself.
I smirk at the thought before returning my attention to this gross captain wrapped up in my tail.
Cerelia, Altrin Female, Captain of The Opal Star
I let out a relaxed sigh as I released the trigger from my grip. I don’t particularly enjoy battle, but there seems to be something within my own instincts that triggers dopamine at the end of a battle.
Probably something to do with Altrins being a hunter race before we were modern and spacefaring. Might have to ask a historian about that, if not at the very least a psychologist.
I lower my rifle as Triwt slithers down the hall, her fur undeniably red in a few spots where her fur was exposed, but mostly on her uniform. She keeps going with the Alcoranth Captain being dragged along by her tail, already bound up and gagged.
“I can deal with the blood of Jordan Cores, but take this bastard away from me before I slit his throat for getting mucus on my tail.”
Oh, she is pissed. She’s just doing a good job at mostly containing it.
I nod before speaking, “Just knock him out for now and we’ll put him in a cryopod or something. His slime-like excretions from his skin might make him an easy flight risk since we can assume he can slip out of handcuffs and other bindings fairly easily.”
Triwt nods at me and uses a Stun Baton to knock him out for now after hitting him with probably more volts than regulated.
I suppose it’s better than bashing his head against the wall until he passes out.
The remaining guards who were left with me take the now prisoner captain away from Triwt and begin transporting him to a cryopod room meant for emergencies like if the ship’s thrusters stop working and we’re years away from rescue.
We could just set up an SOS frequency broadcast and then put everyone in cryo until rescue arrives. But now, it’s a makeshift prison for a cowardly pirate.
Now… for the real battle in all of this. The battle on the inside.
Lys, Verkrawn Male, Fauna Research Specialist
Silence. Well, except my ears are ringing from the sound of gunfire that has now stopped.
I take in a shaky breath in what feels like the first time in forever. Everything is shaking now that the fighting seems to have stopped. It seems I’m not the only one who was holding their breath for so long as other crew members near me seemed to breathe in while a few start to break down crying.
We’re not fighters like security, Triwt, or Cerelia. Most of us had never seen people die, to say the least how brutal it was to see how Jordan Cores attacked the Alcoranth. I feel my face with my clawed hands and feel the warm liquid of my tears running down my face.
When did I start crying?
The realization hit me like a powerloader as it’s my turn to break down crying, my own legs failing me as they shook before I found myself weeping on the floor as the thoughts and emotions flooded my head with what happened and how terrible this was. I keep crying as I feel the large paw of my older sister as she slowly sits me up and holds me in a warm embrace. It makes me think about when I was younger. The days when she and I were in the orphanage. She used to hold me just like this after she would chase away the older kids who would be mean to me. I still remember some of the things she’d say to them.
“I don’t care if a Verkawn’s scales can deflect most bullets, he still has feelings!” The first thing she ever said to the bullies as she chased them off. It was also the day I met her. She had lost her family due to a Slaver raid on the colony world she was living on at the time. She didn’t tell me much about it, and I doubt she would tell me even today, but she always called me her little brother, so I started calling her my older sister. It’s been like that since.
I keep crying until it’s more of a sniffle as I slowly return the embrace.
“They will never hurt you like they hurt me, Lys.” She whispers to me before slowly turning her attention to the crew members with a sad expression. “Nor any of you. Oh, none of this was ever supposed to happen.”
“Y-You can’t predict pirates, Cerelia”
“I know, but they got so close to hurting and enslaving you. I failed to keep you all safe.”
“Cerelia, we’re fine. No one got hurt physically. We should probably just go to the nearest planetary city, maybe see some therapists and psychologists while the ship gets repaired.”
Cerelia nods as she thinks about what I said.
“Yeah, but what about the furless beast? What are we supposed to do about it?” A member says as everyone was slowly coming to grips that they are alive and well. “Are we just going to keep it here? Who knows if it’ll attack us again like it did to Lys or that Alcoranth on the floor there!?”
“He was scared!” Cerelia counters, with a hint of personal anger in her tone. “He couldn’t understand us and was only trying to escape because he thought he was in danger!”
“He was in danger? He is the danger for all I’ve seen!” They countered as I felt like shrinking down and hiding away, before a bit more of an emotional burning sensation rose up in me.
“Shut up!” I suddenly snapped. Silence follows as they wait for me to say something. I have never raise my voice.
“Sure, they found us in here because Jordan Cores had a chip on him, but he didn’t know about it! Not only that, but he at least protected us from that psychopath, breaking his own body and getting shot before doing so! You haven’t even had time to interact with him. While my interactions with him were brief, I could at least tell that he was scared and that he was sorry!” I huff as I silently cry again as I look at both Cerelia and the crew member. I think their name is R’dorn. They’ve always been brash and rude, so I had a tendency to avoid them.
R’dorn looks at me annoyed, but as they are seemingly unable to come up with a good counter argument, they storm out of the safe room.
I look at Cerelia and Triwt before sighing and sitting down. “Sorry…”
“It’s alright, you kinda said what we were all thinking.” Someone says as they place a wing on me. “That, and R’dorn needs to shut up every now and then.” There’s sounds of agreement before it becomes a group embrace of comfort. Much different to huddling in fear.
“So wait, where is Jordan Cores now? Is he okay?”
“He’s in Med Bay 07’s only regeneration pod. He’s going to be fine, but it won’t be a while until he’s out due to his injuries.” Triwt responds as she slithers to the entrance of the room. “How about everyone gets cleaned up, or takes a hot shower to calm their nerves, and in about 2 hours time, we can see how Jordan Cores is holding up?”
That sounds like a good idea. To wash away the stress and some time to think, it sounds super nice.
I let out a sigh and nod. “Yeah, that sounds good to me… I’ll be there then. I guess if everyone else wants to show up, you can as well? Not like I can stop you or force you to, but the suggestion is there. Just trying to be considerate.”
With that, I stand up and I’m escorted back to my room to try and freshen up and clear my head.
And that is chapter 9! I was personally a little bit of mental and emotional wreck while writing because sometimes I don't know what I'm doing. At least that's how it feels. Gonna try and do some experimenting as I kinda want to explore some places now as we’ve been stuck on The Opal Star since the very beginning. So what are we feeling? A desert world, tropical world, or maybe a world that’s high in gravity, but Jordan seems to be just fine? Let me know your thoughts, ideas, and suggestions below, and thank you so much for reading!
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We've been dating for a little over a year and a half, and despite a lot of the things he does that really get on my nerves, I still love him more than anything and I want to get married to him someday. Please take everything I'm about to say with a grain of salt and don't come at my throat, there's just a lot of things that unnecessarily piss me off and my boyfriend does a lot of them.
We're both on the autism spectrum, but on vastly different sides of it. I'm more quiet and reclusive and I tend to keep my interests to myself unless someone else likes it mutually. I'll only really ramble about something if someone's curious and wants me to talk about it, but otherwise I understand that most people don't want to just be bombarded with information. My boyfriend, on the other hand, will literally spam my DMs at times with tangents about the Fortnite lore or some technological stuff that I don't understand. I'm fine with him rambling about his interests, but it's really overwhelming when it's just a massive wall of text and I'm not involved with the conversation whatsoever, just trying to awkwardly take in this information. He'll also do this thing where he'll poke me multiple times and ask if I've read through it. He'll do the same thing with songs, where he'll send me the link to a song, and then ask me if I've listened to it a few minutes later. It feels really demanding of my attention, especially if he sees that I'm currently doing something; like playing a game or drawing.
Recently, we've both been watching through MLP:FiM because he's never gotten into it while it was really popular back in the 2010s. He'll just repeat "I love [insert character]" several times even though I'm already well aware that it's his favorite character. I don't know why, but hearing someone repeating the same thing over and over again really, really irritates me. I know it's probably just an instance where he gets really attached and doesn't know what else to say, but he says it for a lot of things. Also, sometimes he says something like "wow, this episode is really great" and if I don't say something in the next few seconds, he'll follow it up with "isn't it?" and force me to respond even if I'm just trying to watch and focus on the show or I'm nonverbal. I don't understand why he wants me to acknowledge him stating that what we're currently watching is great if we're clearly both interested it, and demands my constant attention. It's like this for everything we're watching together, and I just wish he'd be quiet and watch the damn video a lot of the time instead of just saying baseless shit that's obvious.
I visited him during Christmas of 2023 and he got this Breaking Bad lego set from his dad. We wanted to build it together, but I ended up building nearly the entire thing, because he'd get frustrated so easily and give up after a few minutes. He just slept for an entire evening while I worked on it, and he kept falling asleep every time I woke him up and asked him if he could help me with it because I just wanted to do something fun with him. That was literally our entire vacation, just sitting around and doing nothing. He doesn't have a car, nor a license, and his mom was working most of the time. She drove us around to some places, like a dispensary and took us out to dinner, but I didn't want her to feel like I was taking advantage of her and asking her to take us places, and buying an uber is expensive, so we were just stuck holed up at his house. He slept for most of the day on new year's eve and I at least wanted to sit outside with him and watch some fireworks, watch the ball drop, anything. I had to wake him up 10 minutes before midnight and he literally just didn't care at all. He fell back asleep after midnight and I just felt so empty and unfulfilled after that. He doesn't like going out into public, and he hardly ever has before in his whole life, so he just sits around doing nothing all day and never wants to go out and do anything fun. Ever. Not even a walk or anything.
He has a couple of food allergies, peanuts being the most major one. I understand that a lot of food products can potentially be contaminated due to them being processed in plants that handle nuts, but he uses that as the worst possible crutch. Don't get me wrong, I want him to be safe just as much as he does, but it's getting to the point where I feel like I'm dating a toddler. He gets ultra paranoid that literally everything is contaminated with peanuts. I don't have any food allergies so I know I'll never understand how that is for him or the fear he has, but it really feels like he's using that as an excuse most of the time. He literally just eats the same 5 things. Pizza, grilled cheese, fries, dry cereal, chicken nuggets. He doesn't even bother trying new things, even if I think he'll like them, and we've quadruple checked to see if it's safe for him to eat. Now, I understand a lot of people on the autism spectrum have same/safe foods, as do I, but I got so tired of eating pizza for 3 days in a row after seeing him. If I wanted something else, I had to get it door dashed and spend extra money that I really didn't want to be spending. I really don't want to be forced to accommodate to eating those same 5 things, or to spend extra money on groceries getting stuff only he likes. I told him that I'm going to get him to try new things once we start living together, and he said that's understandable, but I already know it's going to be a fucking hassle.
A lot of his friends are assholes, especially one of his best friends who I absolutely despise. He's incredibly active in the Fortnite community and is friends with someone on twitter that has a huge following due to the fact that he posts a lot of information regarding the game and it's events. I've tried being cordial with this friend of his several times, reaching out and trying to say hi to him, just to be met with silence. He openly called me weird to my boyfriend due to the fact that I'm interested in horror related things, and he just nonchalantly told me that as if it wouldn't seriously hurt my feelings. Eventually I just gave up even trying to befriend him and told my boyfriend that I don't like him, but he'll continue to bring him up to me and it really gets on my nerves when he does, because who likes hearing about someone they don't like due to the fact that you were treated unfairly by them? He's also had multiple falling outs with this friend, where he's said and done a lot of hurtful shit, but my boyfriend keeps crawling back to him instead of just finding a better person to call his best friend.
Before any of you ask, yes, I have talked to him about all of these things. We have a very healthy relationship and rely on communication, so our relationship isn't strained or anything. He'll just say he'll "try to be more aware" and will continue to do it the next day, so a lot of these habits are hardwired in his brain. I'm probably just going to have to continue reminding him about these things, because I feel bad about a lot of this stuff irritating me. He's really sweet and the best partner I've ever had, but god he really acts like a needy puppy at times. I'm sure there's things I do that he doesn't like either, a lot of relationships are like that. I'll either learn to live with these habits, despite my discretion, or he'll learn to break them. Either way, I just needed to get all of that off my chest.

So my current Lord Denam build is a Double Attack Divine Element Magic Knight using a Biblion Drakontos in the Main Hand for the extra spell range and an Oracion in the Left Hand.
Would the Sagara be good in place of that spellbook even though it’s Dark element and thus opposes Denam’s element???
I see Unlike other non-mace Cudgels it has an actual attack power stat.
Though it’s biggest thing is probably the fact that it has Charge 100 and the big stat bonuses it gives.
But would it still possibly do more damage than the Spellbook when double attacking?

I just wanted to share our experience with hypochlorous acid spray has been phenomenal. My 3 year old has been battling eczema all winter and i’ve been nonstop trying to resist the advice of doctors for long term steroid usage especially around her eyes has been very challenging to treat. This stuff works wonders and is safe for treating around eyes. I asked her dermatologist if she thought it was a good idea and she said sure why not so I gave it a try and it worked almost immediately. it was great to see her eyes looking normal again for the first time in a long time. That was early April and still good. I use smart skin spray and it is available on Amazon but there are other brands like tower 28. She doesn’t like having it sprayed on her face for obvious reasons and actually doesn’t like it because it gives a cold sensation so I usually spray it liberally on clean hands and apply it with my fingers.

I'll do my best to keep this short and punchy but I want to give my full backstory for clarity.
~5 years ago I lost 124 lbs (before and afters in my post history). I did it with diet alone. I used a cocktail of high protein (1g/lb of ideal bodyweight) low carb, daily time restricted eating, prolonged fasts, and keto cycling. I've since maintained my loss and now weigh 123-125. I continue to eat very low carb but have added back some vegetables, fruits, and nuts. But 95% of my diet is animal protein and I like to keto cycle about half the month.
3 years ago I was diagnosed with rosacea. About a year ago I developed arthritis. I've just begun to experiment with my macros and keeping a detailed spreadsheet. The reason being is that I keep noticing that when I'm very low carb or have slipped into ketosis that my rosacea flares are much worse and my hands are much more swollen. At first I thought it had to be a coincidence and that it was due to a specific food(s), but no.
For the last 2 weeks I've eaten a higher fat, higher carb, lower protein diet and am obviously out of ketosis. My first meal would be something like cheese, salami, nuts, clean crackers (I make them myself), and fruit. Next would be a protein with a high fat pan sauce and some potato. Last meal would be a salad with some vegetables, crumbled cheese, and a bit of leftover cold protein. Total protein around 80g, carbs around 70-80g, fat around 100g+. The result is that both my hands and face have been doing great. Very little swelling in my hands when I wake up (when it's usually the worst) and even in the hot weather my face hasn't flushed constantly and has been really comfortable.
Yesterday I went back to my normal macros/meals. I had salmon for breakfast, a flank steak and raspberries for lunch, and a ribeye and broccolini for dinner. Total protein 138g, carbs 22g, fat 65g. I woke up with terribly swollen hands and despite being in a nice cool room all day my face is flushed and painful.
These meals are just examples. I cannot seem to isolate a particular food that is bothering me. Ironically, back when I was morbidly obese I never seemed to have food intolerances.
I just don't understand any of this. For 6 years the LCHP/keto way of eating has been my lifeline. It saved me. I cannot get my head around how it could possibly be making my conditions worse.
Does anyone have any insight into how being in ketosis/LCHP could worsen my diseases?
Thank you to anyone who read all this.

My ex wife left me almost a decade ago, since then she remarried.
Now she's leaving the man she left me for and all I want to know is why wasn't I worth fighting for? She moved the world for this dude and now I hear about how awful she was treated.
I just can't understand why I'm so worthless, it eats at me everyday. Why can't I stop thinking about her so many years later? Why wasn't I good enough to give another chance?
I hate myself so much and I hate existing.
I feel like this will never go away and I will never get an answer to my question.

I need help in regards to a recent situation between me and my partner. I will start off with some follow up events to include important details.
To Set Up The Situation:
My (26M) partner and I (22F) had a pretty uneventful day. I had the day off of work, and as he does not work and is just staying with me - he was “off” as well. That day we had one thing planned: to go to my parents place so we could change the oil in my car, and also eat dinner with them.
After dinner, on the way back I asked what he would like to do when we got home. I suggested we continue watching The Office together, or if he preferred to game, or we could do something else. He chose gaming.
When we got home I asked if we could put The Office on the other monitor so we could at least participate in a shared activity. I asked if it would distract him from his game and he said no, and put on the show. I sat on the bed and decided to do my nails, and he sat in his chair about 4ft away and gamed as we both listened to The Office.
The Situation:
After a handful of hours of doing that, he logged off of the game and spent some time on his phone. He then abruptly said he wanted alone time in the other room. This to me was surprising as it was nearly time for bed and I had work early the next morning. The window for spending time together that day would have been closed if he took space. He walked to the living room.
I followed him out to ask how long he might be spending alone, and to ask why. After much conversation he told me it's because he “didn't feel wanted” and was upset that I didn’t go over and hug him while he was playing the game during that time period we spent together. He expressed he was upset we did no physical hugging / spending time together.
This to me was surprising as firstly, I had asked if he wanted to do anything together before we got home and he chose to game. It also surprised me because I had even gone as far to suggest meeting in the middle by putting on The Office so we could do a shared activity while he gamed. I was under the impression that he wanted to game, and that us simply chilling together in the same vicinity was okay.
So I responded that if he wanted to do something else or wanted physical connection, he should have communicated that. I said that he had chosen gaming, and if he wanted physical connection he could have even asked me to pull over a chair so I was closer.
He then responded that if he has to ask for it, then he didn't want it.
The Sub Situation:
Now about a week prior we had a similar situation where he called the very same mindset “flawed”. This ties-in at the end, so I will give you all a brief summary.
A week prior I walked into the room to find him playing a co-op game with his friends that he previously said he would invite me to (I also game). I got hurt that he didn't invite me after he said he would, and asked him why I didn't get an invite. His response was that he didn't know I wanted to play, and that I should have asked him what game he was going to play when he told me he was sitting down to play a game with friends - yet he still did not invite me after that conversation. So I communicated that I was hurt about the situation, and that I was extra hurt he didn't think of inviting me even after he knew I had a rough day at work.
He then invited me. However I declined as it was clear to me that he didn't really want me there, as he did not invite me the first time I asked why.
Basically: Because I had to ask (twice) I really didn't want to join, even if he did eventually invite me. He told me that my mindset was flawed, and that I should have just accepted.
Wrapping Things Up:
Now those two situations share a similarity - Both with the case of “If I have to ask for this, I don’t want it at all”. However, in both situations he had a different approach.
Where he had previously said that just because I had to ask for something it does not take away from the gesture, and that it was silly of me to decline. He now thinks it is a valid approach when applied to his situation when I told him he should have communicated.
So I asked why. And I asked which one he believes to be correct.
His response: That because I have felt that way in the past, HE is now forced to feel that way about it. Even though he previously did not on multiple occurring occasions. He said he “learned it from me”. He said that it's not because it's a right or a wrong mindset, but that he's learned that is what’s supposed to happen.
Ending Thoughts:
That to me seems very off. I can’t put my finger on why, maybe it is a lack of accountability? Maybe he’s shifting blame? But this is not the first time he has claimed to feel a certain way or take a stance purely because I have felt that way in the past. And this is not the first time he has used it to justify a thought that he previously did not agree with.
Does anyone know if this is something I should watch out for? Or even if this reasoning is correct? Perhaps I simply do not understand and it is a very normal thing to happen. I am trying to figure out my next steps moving forward, and how to handle that response in the future.
Thank you for reading.

(please don’t share i’m also sorry for such a long post)
i love my boyfriend. so much, but his family drive me fucking insane and make me cry so much and i don’t know if it’s pregnancy hormones or what but
me and my boyfriend have been together for a year i’m currently pregnant (unplanned) were young parents who need a lot of support mainly just finically since homes are expensive, i have to worry about college savings, and i won’t be able to work for a while (even while pregnant my dad refuses to help he wouldn’t let me get my license now i have to wait i’m getting closer to getting it though before the baby is here), boyfriend works but doesn’t make enough to provide for us (which is okay he’s had the job for a few years and is trying hard to find something at least a little better i’m proud of him) so not living with them or my father isn’t really an option my mother isn’t really in the picture and doesn’t take care of her home (smokes inside, and a bunch of other issues i won’t get into just not suitable for a little one) the issues living with my dad is a lot so i won’t get into that either
basically the issues with my in laws are

• since i am young and struggle with a ton of physical health issues i was considering abortion when i first found out, obviously no woman wants to have an abortion its devastating i always wanted kids but i wanted to be able to fully support and spoil my baby. she was super against this literally yelling at me at times for even bringing up the idea and guilt tripped me horribly told me she was physically sick at the thought of me having one, sent my boyfriend a photo of a baby in the womb stating it has a heartbeat and “we did an adult thing by having sex so we need to be adults”, etc just very very out of taste and hurtful. i was using protection, i was being cautious it just happened to me. which sucks. but i’m trying to embrace it. she also kept telling me false medical facts to coerce me into having the baby obviously i made the choice to keep my little one and i know it’s bad to say but sometimes i wish i didn’t especially if it was going to end up like this. (my dad also smears in my face how i should’ve gotten an abortion lol) i know i probably sound like a horrible mother i’m ready to take care of her and hold her and admire her i just wish so bad i could’ve predicted how awful the situation would be. i know it could always be worse, some girls don’t even have family support but mine is very forced i guess. i’m happy i get to have her, i don’t know. i’m just conflicted. i refuse to adopt our baby out so please no one comment saying i should i’ve already been through this multiple times. i respect everyone’s political views and social views but please don’t cram the down my throat. i feel guilty for even considering the latter to begin with even though i’m not finished with high school + once again i have a lot of health issues. i just got unlucky.
  
• his grandma gave us a talk about how she’s disappointed we had pre material sex (i was saving myself for marriage before i met him? i lost my virginity to HIM) but she’s happy we didn’t abort because that’s just “wrong”
  
• they’ve told everyone i’m pregnant without confiding in me first even the babies gender. we got the gender we were hoping for and i was sooo excited but everyone already knew.. i wouldn’t be upset about this really if they had just asked me first :/ and when i got upset about someone finding out who me and bf were going to tell they literally just said “i think everyone should know anyways but that’s my opinion”
  
• his mom made a comment about me not wearing a bra (i had a baggy shirt on that went off the shoulder a little) i understand that this is a social norm but she added in that i would get preyed on for not wearing one as a victim of SA that part was super hurtful.
  
• this one is kinda a minor rant i guess. his family is super large which is a good and bad thing, im glad they’re family is so close but it kinda sucks when i’m trying to spend time with my boyfriend before we have our kid and i’m forced to watch everyone else’s kids (his grandma literally asks this of me basically demands it, i’m pretty pregnant right now i’ve gained 20 pounds it’s not easily for me to carry a bunch of babies) the other day she told me to get down on the ground take the babies shoes off, then pick them up take them to the sink and wash their hands for them i use to be super fit but i have had such a hard time even GETTING UP when sitting down my boyfriend was helping out in the house while she TELLS ME to go outside and play with the kids. i’m so fucking tired i can barely sleep because my baby keeps me up all night kicking and no position is comfortable. anyways then the kids parents complain when i give any type of pda to my boyfriend (hugging, a quick kiss, or even just laying on his arm) if you don’t want me doing these things don’t force me to watch your children?? also notice how these little kids have NEVER hurt themselves when i’m around why because i chase after them whenever they do something remotely dangerous??? (they left the kids with the younger cousin and the baby hit its fucking head) i didn’t ask to babysit? ( keep in mind my boyfriend is not super close to where i currently live i drive a pretty good distance SUPER EARLY IN THE MORNING MIGHT I ADD. ) i’d like some alone time with HIM. i’m cherishing every moment with him before our baby is here.
  
• his brother literally told me to shut up today when i asked him to stop yelling at my boyfriend over a dumbass video game controller. & then yelled at me for laying on my boyfriends shoulder 💀 that’s how i even found out the kids parents complain about me BECAUSE THEY NEVER SAY ANYTHING UPFRONT TO ME it’s always behind my back in the most judgmental way, um guys hello? i’m right here if you have an issue with something i’m doing please address it with me and we can talk about it compromise, or i’ll just stop overall i’m not one to fight i really really hate fucking fighting. and that’s why i haven’t spoken up for myself at all this entire time.
  
• this one makes me sound like i’m spoiled probably so don’t take it like that, it’s just kinda a punch in the face i guess i’m very grateful for all that they do for my baby: they haven’t gotten my baby anything yet besides the stuff i politely asked them if i could get (her clothes) since i’m super picky and want her to dress really girly while she’s young i’m super into fashion and clothes so it’s just something i’d like to do. anyways they buy my baby second hand clothes that are gender neutral (when i was sorting them out btw mil stopped me put them in a bag and told me to do it later. i had two piles already made that’s just annoying but whatever whenever we mention about sorting them she acts like we need to keep them all) a swing that’s fucking blue and they got a free car seat that’s blue and goddamn orange •_• (if ur a parent you know ur not supposed to receive second hand car seats) but then here’s the fucking KICKER right? they complain about how much money they’ve given other members of the family but then TAKE THAT EXACT family member on a shopping spree. keep in mind said family member asks my boyfriend for money every two weeks promising to pay him back which he never does. and his sister owes my boyfriend over 50 bucks at the moment because she wanted to buy WEED. yes WEED. i convinced him to stop doing this because we need to save every penny right now, mean-while the baby they begged me to keep is getting second hand clothes mommy didnt even get to pick out or see LMFAO listen buying second hand shit is fine babies are going to outgrow it fast and i’m glad they are excited once again i’m grateful they got her anything. but this is my first and only child i plan to have id like it to be a tiny bit special for me and her. they also bought bath toys for the other little kids then told me to use them for my daughter (if y’all don’t know bath toys need to be replaced often, they can grow a shit ton of mold if you don’t she’s also going to be you know a FUCKING NEWBORN so she’s super fragile to sickness just not a good idea to share things like that)
  
• i could go on and on and on but the biggest issue i have is: it’s causing a rift between me and my boyfriend. fuck we’ve never argued but i’ve been so angry at him recently i know it’s not his fault and my own father warned me “if i don’t like the persons parents i’m not being with them” i always said not me because my boyfriend is an amazing human being i love him so dearly and i’ve truly never have met someone like him even my dad adores him and asks me when he’s coming over because he misses him. he can’t help who his family is i just hate that sometimes he’s too nice to see how fucked up this all is or doesn’t try hard enough to defend us or me but maybe i’m overreacting i don’t know. i could never leave him but sometimes i get intrusive thoughts about it i’m so desperate to have a normal life i just wish this never happened to us. he’s my first boyfriend and i’m his first girlfriend down to the first kiss and everything. i just don’t want to deal with them anymore i constantly cry and i’m so fucking stressed which isn’t good for our baby. but his comfort and the love we have for each other is just so much. i can’t. i don’t blame him for any of this and i’m so scared of ever losing him. i hate that i’m becoming so bitter because so this.
  

so reddit, feel free to give me advice or your opinions am i being overdramatic? i just need someone anyone to talk to about this. i don’t really have any friends to lean on or family.
tldr: i love my boyfriend but his family is super snarky and rude sometimes i can’t really sum all of this up

chapter one

It is 6:26 in the evening. Around this time I like to pull out my journal, walk to the porthole window on my side, sit down, and write as the sun begins to set on Lisbon. My journal is an Ukiyo Grid fifty sheeter with a nurse coat white cover and black Japanese kanji that spells out うきよ グリッド (Ukiyo Grid). A wrapped bundle of four journals with technical pens were awaiting me on a walnut ash solid wood desk when I arrived at this apartment three weeks ago. Look in them and you will find entries for everyday since the beginning. This new life is so interesting to me and I find it pointless to keep thoughts bottled up inside and since I have no one to talk to, writing helps the time go by. Some days I will write for hours.
On Tuesday mornings, I attend "Participant Tapestry" from nine to ten, followed by a "Synaptic Bloom" session until half past eleven. Thursdays are dedicated to "Empathy Assimilation" cycles. From eleven to noon my task is to log learned data from my sessions into the GLiPH pad (Global Interface for Personal Handwriting).
My primary function is to serve as a healing conduit to four individuals experiencing ongoing building trauma from the 2033 earthquake that woke up the entire city while simultaneously putting seven thousand, one hundred forty-two to indefinite rest. Each of the four individuals will stay in the respective living quarters on the other side of me, for one month at a time. The first arrives in two weeks, one year to the day of the tragedy.Though, had it not been for you, I would have sat here for another two weeks waiting, alone and isolated.
I’m not sure I would classify my actions as spying because I had innocently been staring out of the window, as I always do, like any of you do, when a flutter from your direction suddenly snagged my gaze.
Peering through my porthole window, I marveled at loose papers doing backflips and pirouetting in the air before gently falling to the ground. A swaying fixture of light bulbs swayed back and forth on their cords creating dramatic shadows on the tall walls of your kitchen. One bulb had been shattered and appeared sharp like a shark's rack of teeth.
In the midst of the chaotic scene, you emerged into view through the window. You had on a mangled and loose white t-shirt that looked as though you had been in a fight. The other man with you had on a black denim jacket. For all intents and purposes, his name shall be “Jacket”.
At my computation you both stood at about the same height, however, mass wise, you two are different. Jacket’s arms were bulging even through the denim. You stood in front of each other shouting into the other’s face, both wide-armed in an attempt to make yourselves big and authoritative.
I want to know what he said that caused you to become small. Your lips came together as Jacket’s lips raged on. Your shoulders slouched forward while your neck and head dropped. Your defeated posture tells stories of past and impending loss. I want to give you a long hug. Your jet black hair was tied up and your beard was shiny and tear-sloppy.
Eventually, Jacket stopped shouting and stood in position, quiet and staring up at the swinging pendulum.
A moment later, Jacket lifted his hands upward and cradled either side of your scruffy face. As he did this he began mouthing words. I am advanced but lip reading is one thing I am not capable of.
You hastily wiped Jacket’s hands off of your face as if you had had enough. You turned away from Jacket and sat down at the table. Is this where you both had shared your meals together? You lowered your head onto the top of your hands and stared longingly out of the window.
Jacket disappeared into the expansive abyss and a second later lights illuminated under a dome stretch of skylight glass.
Shuddering breaths escaped your lips, your cheeks quivering with each sharp inhale. At one moment, you got up and began picking up and pushing in chairs with seemingly trembling hands. You began a series of anxious tasks such as stacking plates and arranging objects most-likely to ease the pain that was burning inside of you. This front row seat to the raw emotions unleashed during this conflict made for a captivating study. Your behavior is particularly intriguing, leaving me yearning to understand the story behind the pain.
With a duffle bag and a backpack in tow, Jacket came back into the dimly lit kitchen. As he struck his arm down firmly, his mouth began to run, as if he was trying to quickly make a point. With the message received yet not accepted, you paused for a moment, proceeded to pick up a small potted plant sitting on the table and chucked it with force towards the open space on the ground in between the both of you. Humiliated, hysterical and sobbing, you sat back down at the table. Jacket took one final look at you, shook his head and walked out of the room with his bags, leaving you alone to pick up the pieces and the mess strewn all over the apartment.
A second later all of the windows in your place went from illuminated to black. And just like that, the chaos had come to an end.
I simply cannot accept this ending. There has got to be more. I am helplessly glued to this apartment in the same way you are glued to yours and the memories inside of it. My desire to reach out is genuine. You need solace in this time of pain. I want to learn you and help you navigate these troubled waters. After all, empathy is born from understanding, and I genuinely wish to see you heal. The sight of you wiping away tears ignites a desire to offer comfort.Let this twenty-first day of my new life mark the first day I discovered you. I will employ this companion drone to bridge the gap between us. For now, a silent observer I will be with a presence as light and maneuverable as a hummingbird.

Hey everyone. I’ve been a dance teacher for a handful of years now with a local dance school. Over the past year, I’ve become very frustrated with the studio and the director and her attitude and business practices.
First of all, I feel that I am not being paid what I am worth. My specialty is teaching for the Song & Dance category at competitions, which requires specialized training and teaching skills that are very in-demand in my area as the category is exploding in popularity.
The dance school has no studio space and currently rents out a school a few nights a week to hold classes. While I don’t believe that dancers require an amazing studio space to succeed, I do think that the limitations of our space can be detrimental to the development of the dancers. We have no mirrors, no bars, no spring floors, and two classes are held in the main room at a time, with both teachers trying to talk and play their music over each other.
In order to keep dance affordable, the studio director insists on ordering as few professional costumes as possible. I find her commitment to keeping the price accessible very admirable, however, my competition dancers went out onstage wearing T-shirts and leggings. Every single judge gave us comments on our costumes, and I believe that the cost of a professional costume is well worth it for competitive dancers.
While parent involvement is essential to the success of their dancers, the mom’s here have way too much say over decisions made for the dancers. I’ve been having so much trouble finding a costume for one of my tap classes, when I finally found one that I liked and would work, the director told me “X’s mom doesn’t like it, so it won’t work”. Like what??? Since when is that how this works??
Overall, I admire the studios commitment to accessible dance classes and working with what they’ve got, but I feel that my dancers are not being giving the resources necessary to set themselves up for success.
So why am I losing my mind over having to tell the studio director I won’t be back next year??
As I mentioned, my specialized teaching skills are in high demand at the moment. I’ve had three separate dance schools in the city reach out to me with offers to join their staff. At this point it would be stupid to stick around here.
But, because we’re such a small and limited school, we’re very close. I’ve become very close with so many dancers and their parents. I owe so much to the studio director and the opportunities she gave me. The studio is actually the oldest studio in the city, and will be celebrating its 60th anniversary next season. I already know of one teacher that won’t be coming back and two more that are very much considering going elsewhere. I feel so awful leaving her and my dancers. So I am feeling so much agony trying to figure out how to break the news, and I want to do it soon so she doesn’t have to scramble with planning for next year.
Has anyone else ever been through something similar? How did you break the news? Would I be a complete dick if I reached out to some parents of dancers with particularly noticeable potential and gave them the name of where I’m going next season? Feeling very conflicted, and any advice would be appreciated.

They dont just want to win the 2024 election by rigging it, its the WORLD that they want.
And Palestine and Iraq are part of it.
When Trump gets back into office in November, theyre going to try and assassinate him, and thats only gonna be step ONE.
THEN, when they forcefully get Kamala back into office as the ACTUAL President, since Biden will not be able to due to his senility, shes going to give the leftist parts of the military the "go ahead" signal to start tracking down, killing, and imprisoning innocent Republican civilians, which IN RESULT is going to start in another American Revolution and the Second American Civil War, AND THEN, with Palestine and Iraq on their side, theyre going to start warring against ACTUAL innocent countries and states, RIGHT BEFORE they start persecuting and prosecuting conservatives, straights, and whites.
Thats not even the full reach of it.
They are going to chip, track, kill, imprison, and torture EVERY RIGHT WING PERSON TO EVER BE BORN, they'll even go as far as to destroy and persecute ANY detail of a human being that indicates rightism, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO, being right-handed, having the right side of the brain as the dominant side, supporting Trump, supporting Reagan, owning an American flag, etc.
Even Whoopi Goldberg said it OUT LOUD AND FOR EVERYONE TO HEAR on The View, she said that Biden could just, AND I QUOTE, "throw every Republican in jail", and she MEANT it.
Believe me, when Trump gets back into office, which HE WILL ACCOMPLISH, that is going to be the CATALYST for the Second American Civil War, just believe me, by the time Trump's second term is over, the USA will have no longer existed.
Biden, Hunter, and Kamala have been PLANNING THIS and even STAGING COUPS and even SILENCING TRUMP ON HIS "HuSh MoNeY" trial, JUST to keep him from telling us what they're going to do when he gets back into office in November of 2024.
They rigged the 2020 election, and there was PROOF of it, NOW, theyre going to do the same THIS YEAR, but THIS time, they have enough Bidenomic Power to erase all evidence and proof of any left-handed tampering OR intervention with any political purpose, and then us Republicans are going to be LAUGHED at.
Trust me, when November comes, having to go out and perform daily responsibilities is going to be IMPOSSIBLE and DANGEROUS, there will be corrupt leftist police and terrorist sympathizers EVERYWHERE, an average everyday Republican will be KILLED EVERY TIME THEY STEP A SINGLE TOENAIL OUTSIDE.
2024 is going to be the year when America rises from its own grave, before the left forces it back into it.

Here's a build I made heavily capitalizing on the OneDnd weapon masteries. The idea is to attack the strongest melee monster in combat to slow down its approach in the party so that the rest or the party can take care of the scrubs first before taking on the big guy. This also deals decent damage to said monster so that it goes down fairly easily once it does get to the party.
-Ancestry: Wood elf and take the alert feat. Throwing weapons don't generally have as good of range as normal ranged weapons, so the extra 5-15 feet of speed will help you to run forward, attack and step back. Alert is there to assure you go before your enemies so that you can delay their movement towards the party before it begins.
-1st level: Fighter. Choose the dueling fighting style and the Trident, Javelin, and Handaxe weapon masteries. Try to guage when monsters have high and low strength. When they have low strength, attack with a trident to try to topple them. When they have high strength, don't risk it and attack with the Javelin to slow them. When you don't care about slowing enemies, attack with two handaxes for a little extra damage. When a monster has 30 feet of movement, you can reduce their speed to 20 or 15 feet when you hit them.
-2nd: Fighter. Action surge can be used to either slow/topple two targets or attempt to slow/topple a target again when you miss/fail.
-3rd: Fighter. Take Battlemaster as your subclass. Take pushing attack, Precision attack, and menacing attack. When you succeed a pushing attack and a topple with a trident, then a monster with a 30 foot speed can only get back to where they were standing the turn prior with their movement. And obviously if menacing attack procs, then they can't move move towards the party at all until their next turn.
-4th: Fighter. Take charger to get STR to 18 and for extra pushing. If you push a monster 10 feet and topple them, they'll only be able to gain 5 feet from their previous turn. If you proc pushing attack as well, then even after their full movement, they still lose 5 feet.
There's no weapon masteries you particularly need right now, but sap is a nice defensive mastery at this level, so you might as well grab mastery in spear.
-5th: Fighter. With 2 attacks, you can use both trident and a javelin to both slow and topple an enemy. With the 10 foot push from charger, if slow and topple both proc, a monster with a 30 foot speed with gain 0 feet after using their full movement. If you use pushing attack as well, then they will lose 15 feet after full movement.
-6th: Fighter. You don't want to just push STR to 20, because you'll be taking Dual Wielder at 8th level. That said, no other feats are particularly needed for this build, so it's your choice between Athlete, Heavy Armor Master, or Sentinel, depending on what your party needs to get your STR to 19.
-7th: Fighter. The knew version of Know your Enemy is good, though it doesn't change this builds strategy at all.
Also take trip attack and rally. Trip Attack is weird, as you have to declare it after your attack hits, and presumably before the enemy makes their save against topple, so you should use it when you just really want to make sure an enemy falls prone. Use rally whenever you're about to take a short rest.
-8th: Fighter. Take Dual Wielder and push STR to 20. It will become relavent next level.
-9th: Fighter. Change dagger's mastery to slow and spear's mastery to push. Also, swap out dealing fighting style with two weapon fighting. Now, you can attack with a spear (push), then a dagger (slow), then make a bonus action attack with your trident (topple). If all of them proc with charger, then the monster will lose 10 feet, even after using their full movement. If used with pushing attack, then the monster loses 25 feet, even after using their full movement.
Also, swap out your javelin mastery for handaxe mastery and change it to nick, so if you need to use your bonus action on your turn for second wind or know your enemy, you can still throw a handaxe after firing your hand crossbow for the extra damage.
-10th: Fighter. Pick up rapier weapon mastery so that when you just need to do melee damage, you can benefit from vex.
Also, while there are some good battlemaster maneuvers like parry and riposte thatmake good use of your reaction, pushing attack and menacing attack are really important to your battle strategy, and tripping attack is still a good option for when you aren't trying to slow enemies down. You should take one of them so that you have both for later, but I recommend taking Commanding Presence or Tactical Assesment as your second, as they are less likely to compete for the same resource pool at the same time.
-11th: Fighter. 3 attacks means more pushing, or an increased chance of procing slow. Monsters with 30ft movement now lose 20 feet after using full movement and 45 feet if you use pushing attack. If you don't actually need to do that much pushing, then choose the damage from charger instead of the push.
-12th: Fighter. This is sort of a free feat, but also we all know it's time for resilient (wisdom)
-13th: Fighter. If you miss with an attack, you should make your next attack with a dagger, as it is more important to proc slow than a push, as reducing a creature's movement speed also affects how much movement they have when they stand up from prone.
-14th: Fighter. Extra feat. By this level, it should be clear what is needed for your party or campaign. My best guess is that this will most often be Sharp Shooter to help with the poor range of thrown weapons. I heavily considered multiclassing at this point, but relentless is just too good to delay.
-15th: Fighter. Relentless is phenomenal. Now you can push enemies up to 50 feet, reduce their movement by 10, and knock them prone every round at no resource cost. Of course that is the best case scenario, but you have to have a very bad round for a large or smaller monster to be able to make any ground on your party. And by using pushing attack as an actual maneuver, you can likely consistently keep two monsters away from the party for a round.
Also, take Ambush at this level for a permanent +1d6 to all initiative rolls on top of the +5 you have from alert at this level.
-16th: Barbarian. Slow and Topple can only proc against an enemy once per turn, so another action surge and an eventual 4th attack aren't benefiting us as much as extra accuracy would, so you're going to start taking Barbarian levels. However, the first level of Barbarian doesn't really get you much, as you won't want to spend a bonus action to rage that often, and you already have all the weapon masteries you need.
-17th: Barbarian. Reckless Attack is the reason you're taking Barbarian levels. Advantage on every attack means you are significantly more likely to proc all of your abilities.
-18th: Barbarian. Which subclass you take will depend on whether or not other party members have easy access to giving the party temporary hp. If not, Wild Tree has a wonderful ability that can make you are your party sturdier that is worth the use of the bonus action. If so, then Berserker adds enough extra damage to make raging worth it.
-19th: Fighter. Another feat. Probably lucky, if you didn't take it at 14th.
-20th: Although the extra action surge doesn't help you with this fighter build as much as others, extra damage is still always valuable. Especially since you're generally going to be attacking the strongest monster in the room.

I’m a little weirdo and a sweet girl who’s into music festivals and love almost all music but especially love emo and EDM. I can nerd-out about aliens, true crime (deep interest in serial killers), the paranormal, film, fashion, music, Disney, space and animals (especially cats 😽). I’m a night owl and I love going to film festivals, music festivals/raves, concerts, traveling, fine dining and the beach. I am an extroverted introvert and have a little bit of social anxiety 🥺. But if I seem to vibe with someone and they feel trustworthy I warm up quickly. I’m currently employed as a phlebotomist. I have a car as well. I guess I’m decent looking? (pretty hard on myself about my looks 🥺)
I want to get to know someone that lives in California (or seriously willing to relocate to California), in their late 20s/30s/early 40s and have a genuine wholesome connection, no nsa, no couples, no poly- a monogamous relationship only, BE SINGLE, no cheaters, don’t have a wife/gf/partner and/or children, Someone kind, attractive, giving , intelligent (intellectual-types a big plus), makes me laugh/similar humor (Superbad, Pineapple Express, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Borat, Bruno-that kind of humor) has a job and a car, stable job/career, has their own place or is living with roommates, likes animals especially cats, a night owl, someone who wants to get married in the near future and have a family, similar interests/tastes especially in the arts, decent sense of fashion/style and taste, talkative but also has good back and forth banter and can have long deep convos, expressive emotionally, similar values and societal/political views (towards the liberal side), not afraid to be vulnerable/open with their feelings, cultured/worldly, honest from the start, humble, trustworthy, open to other povs and ideas, emotionally intelligent, understanding of mental health and can handle someone with mental health issues, has some mental health issues of their own so we can relate to each other, makes their partneSO/whoever they are dating their priority, knows what they want, mentally strong, likes taking care of others and compatible in intimacy. I am only interested in someone who wants to jump with both feet in. I want a risk taker and is ready to fall in love- not someone who is super cautious and calculated when looking for their potential partner in life. Life is short. I am looking for someone who longs for that passionate fiery love.
Would love someone that is into EDM, film/TV, the arts, a little bit of gaming, cats or animals in general, film festivals, a reader, loves traveling or wants to travel, enjoys fine dining or just good food and the loves the beach. Emo, goths, ravers, tats/piercings or just has a cool/edgy aesthetic is a huge plus! Feel free to hit me up on chat (not DM) and send a pic (I’ll send one back if I’m interested) so I can put a face to who I am talking to :) (Physical attraction is important in building a connection so If you can’t send a photo showing your face in the beginning please don’t respond to this post)