Hey All,
So I know the evil eye (nazar) is real, but I've never really experienced it myself (alhamdulillah). However, something very strange happened today, and I wanted to get your thoughts on it.
I usually go to the gym, and today my little sister (let's call her Samreen—not her real name) asked me to pick her up from the library. She's in grade 12. I asked her if she wanted to go on a small hike near our area, and she agreed. The hike took us around 45 minutes, and then we headed home. Everything was normal. I ate dinner with the family and went about my evening routine.
A few hours later, around 9 PM, I came downstairs and found Samreen crying with my other sisters and my mom trying to help her. I was shocked and asked what happened. They told me that Samreen had gone to take a shower and suddenly had a huge knot in her hair that she couldn't untangle. When I looked at it, I was stunned—her hair was a literal ball of knots.
Earlier on the hike, I had taken a picture of Samreen from the back and sent it to our family group chat (just my parents and siblings). In the picture, her hair was completely fine. But now, it was something I had never seen before.
My mom called her hairstylist friend, who came over to take a look. She told my mom that we would have to cut the knot out because it was too tangled to fix. She also took my mom aside and advised her to give sadaqah (charity) in Samreen's name and to throw the cut hair into a lake. She said this was nazar and that Samreen needs to pray five times a day.
I'm really confused and concerned. What do you all think? Could this be black magic? The evil eye? I'm looking for some advice and insights.
Thanks in advance!

Hey folks -
I know I said I was done posting FV content, but as much as I was intending to step away, theorizing about stuff helps order my mind so I am back to posting. My retirement lasted all of a week 😂😂
I want to explore some of the concepts and inspirations of the Fractalverse from Marathon.
For those who don't know, Marathon is a video game series from Bungie (yes, that Bungie)... The series is often regarded as a spiritual predecessor of Bungie's Halo series.
Significantly for us, it is one of Chris' favorite games of all time, and a lot of the content from Marathon is used as inspiration in the Eragon/Fractalverse series.
https://twitter.com/paolini/status/1661742366028623874
Man, I hope the new #Marathon game is good. The original three were a huge, huge influence on me. Some of the best sci-fi writing out there.
One

If it's a game that doesn't use a mouse, like the old Marathon games, then I use 8426 (with 7 &9 for strafing) for movement and left-hand keys like space, command, option, etc. for shooting, swapping weapons, activating, etc.

Two

Hey, big Marathon fan, which is how I found your work. Been listening to your Leela cover a lot while writing.

Three

Marathon series, Halo, Mass Effect, and the Myst series (although those might be counted as fantasy).

Four

Myst (and sequels), the Marathon trilogy, Escape Velocity, Mass Effect 1-3, Halo 1-4, Skyrim, Oblivion, Portal 1&2, and more.

Five

Since no one guessed it, the sketch I posted earlier was from the end-screen of Marathon Infinity, last game in an awesome trilogy.

Six

@TheDragonUniver Ha! I beat the Vidmaster challenges in the old Marathon games, in the Total Carnage setting no less!

Seven!

@ndemordaunt Awesome. Glad to hear it. I've been playing Halo since it was called Marathon. 🙂 Hope you enjoy my future books!

Alright, I think I've proven my point. Let's get started.
First things first, let's talk about the Jjaro:

The Jjaro were an extremely advanced species--or an extremely advanced individual--which vanished from the Milky Way galaxy... The Jjaro possessed high-quality cyborg technology, such as that used to create the S'pht, as well as a star-destroying weapon known as the trih xeem, the ability to move entire planets by warping space around them as was used by the S'pht'Kr, some sort of time manipulation technology, and various ways of dealing with the W'rkncacnter

Sound familiar? Let's take it line by line with a few tangents along the way.

The Jjaro were an extremely advanced species--or an extremely advanced individual--which vanished from the Milky Way galaxy...

Hmm. Extremely advanced species. Who mysteriously Vanished. Check.

The Jjaro possessed high-quality cyborg technology, such as that used to create the S'pht

We'll get into this a bit later, but there is evidence that the Old Ones created/manipulated the Wraunai. Specifically from the Terminology section:

WRANAUI: sentient, space-faring race originating from the planet Pelagius... Some evidence indicates they may have been genetically modified by the Old Ones at some point in their distant past (Appendix III, TSIASOS).

Not a perfect fit, but lines up well enough. This next bit is extremely curious though -

The Jjaro possessed high-quality cyborg technology, such as that used to create the S'pht, as well as a star-destroying weapon known as the trih xeem

A star-destroying weapon. We haven't seen anything like that before... Or have we?
I've speculated on this in one of my previous posts; I think the "star-destroying weapon" is the black ball in this picture, which was some early concept art for TSIASOS.
You see the Black Ball heading for the sun? Check this out -
Compare it to the picture of the Trih Xeem.
Black ball with a trailing cloud, heading right for the sun? It's a perfect match with the concept art.
This is also significant for the World of Eragon, because:
MURTAGH SPOILERS BELOW
The visions from Azlagur all have him "rise" from the ground to "eat the sun"
Which is SUPER significant, because of the implications of the Marathon Infinity backstory:

In Marathon Infinity, a W'rkncacnter is imprisoned in the sun of planet Lh'owon. It is theorized by some that the W'rkncacnter's powerfully chaotic nature may be responsible for the jumps between realities seen in the game. When the Pfhor use a trih xeem device to send the star into early nova, the creature is released, to the horror and destruction of the Pfhor.

We will touch back on the reality jumping in a bit, but for now I want to focus on the "sun imprisonment" theme.
A cosmic-level baddie imprisoned in the sun. THAT is the endgame for Azlagur. Either he is a planetary-level villain, who will "rise" due to the Trih Xeem and Eat the Sun, releasing the equivalent W'rkncacnter, or he IS the equivalent W'rkncacnter, and will rise when the Trih Xeem is released. It all fits in with the concept art above.
And from this, we can deduce the overarching concepts of Angela's storyline.

Q: Will we get Angela lore? I feel like she could have killed Galbatorix and just didn't feel like it.
A: For those who don't know Angela is based on my sister Angela, because she breaks the fourth wall to a degree she has. Not only does she have plot armor, she knows she's in a story and can break the story itself. So, yes, she could have killed Galbatorix, but that would have made for a very bad story. That said, I do have an entire book planned around Angela, and it's very high on my list of books to write because it takes place before some of these other big stories I want to write. And that's also the difficult thing. I have my big storylines, and then I have a couple of one off side books I want to write, and it's just a question of time, energy and effort.

Given her appearance in TSIASOS, we can interpret that Angela is a "cosmic"-level character, who can cross time and space.
So... what's actually going on behind the scenes? We know she's been in/around Nal Gorgoth, and Tronjheim. She's definitely affiliated with the Draumar, and Tenga in some fashion. So... what's the actual story going on?
Let's take a look at the story of Marathon infinity:

Marathon Infinity begins as the Pfhor destroy Lh'owon using a Jjaro-derived doomsday weapon known as the Trih Xeem or "early nova". Unfortunately, the weapon also releases a powerful chaotic being: The W’rkncacnter, which threatens to destroy the entire galaxy. Because of the W’rkncacnter's chaos or by means of some Jjaro tech of his own, the player is transported back and forward in time, finding himself jumping between timelines and fighting for various sides in a desperate attempt to prevent the chaotic being's release.

So the weapon releases a powerful cosmic-level entity, which threatens to destroy the galaxy. And as a result, the "player" jumps around in time, jumping between timelines and fighting for various sides to prevent the being's release.
Sound familiar?
Jumping around in time and between timelines - that's what she's doing with the portals, the non-standard torque gates.
There are a ton of parallels with Angela and time (such as the references to her being a time lord), so for lack of better information, the most informed guess we can make is that she is trying to prevent the rise of Azlagur himself, or the creature freed by the death of the sun from Az "eating" the sun.
For lack of a better answer, Angela IS the player character from Marathon Infinity.
Alrighty, I could make several posts about the above, but for the sake of space and time, let's get back to the original passage.

the ability to move entire planets by warping space around them

Move planets by warping the space around them eh? That sounds familiar:

Then she was soaring through a nebula, and for a moment, she beheld a patch of twisted space. She could see it was twisted by the way it warped the surrounding gas. And from the patch, she felt a warped sensation, a feeling of utter wrongness, and it terrified her, for she knew its meaning. Chaos. Evil. Hunger.

Warping space around a planet. And Chaos... Sure sounds like the W’rkncacnter.
The last piece here also parallels with what we know about the series:

some sort of time manipulation technology,

Time manipulation - We know, based on various clues left throughout the series, that the Old Ones had the ability to manipulate time. Chris indicates as much here:

Right now no matter what way you swing it, we have issues in terms of time.

Correct.

Moving along, let's keep pulling the Jjaro thread together. The paragraph on Technology reads:

Jjaro technology is incredibly advanced and they have made many discoveries about the secrets of the universe. One of their ships, the Manus Celer Dei, was able to survive the closure of the universe, they uplifted the S'pht, defeated the W'rkncacnter, had mastered time control, had a station capable of compressing the mass and energy of a supernova into a black hole millennia beyond reckoning after it was decommissioned and abandoned, and a few of their artefacts were able to create a cyborg who could also survive the closure of the universe and escape it all together.

A station capable of compressing the mass and energy of a supernova into a black hole. And then it was decommissioned and abandoned.
Sound familiar, anyone?
The Great Beacons. That's what they are. The energy of a supernova in the form of a black hole, which were then decommissioned and abandoned.
We know the Great Beacons are no longer functioning. And it sure sounds like the description of a black hole (both in spacetime format, as a "whirlpool", and also visually)

and a few of their artefacts were able to create a cyborg who could also survive the closure of the universe and escape it all together.

Seeker? I'm not sure, but it sure has a lot of durability.
Alright, we're getting up there in word-count so I want to cut this short.
The last piece I want to talk about here are the parallels betwen the Wranaui and S'pht. It's not a perfect match, but there are a lot of overlaps between the two races.
First, the Wranaui:

WRANAUI: sentient, space-faring race originating from the planet Pelagius. Highly complex life cycle, with an equally complicated, hierarchical social structure dominated by Arms and a ruling form. Wranaui are naturally an ocean-based species, but through extensive use of artificial bodies, have adapted themselves to nearly every possible environment. Aggressive and expansionist, they have little regard for individual rights or safety, given their reliance on replacement bodies. Their scent-based language is exceedingly difficult for humans to translate. Even without technological augmentation, Wranaui are biologically immortal; their genetic-base bodies are always able to revert to an immature form in order to renew their flesh and stave off senescence. Some evidence indicates they may have been genetically modified by the Old Ones at some point in their distant past.

So, to summarize:

• Grew up in water
  
• Advanced scientifically due to the discovery of Vanished technology
  
• Complex hierarchical social structures.
  
• Forms & Use of artificial bodies.
  
• Genetically modified by the Vanished/Old Ones.
  

Let's compare that with the S'phet:

The S'pht were brought to Lh'owon by the Jjarro and Pthia as servants. The S'pht terraformed the planet from a barren desert into "marsh and sea, rivers and forests." When the Jjaro left Lh'owon after the death of "Pthia," the S'pht were released from their servitude, split into eleven clans, and leadership of the race was given to the S'pht royals.[6]

Genetically modified. Check.

The Pfhor forced them out of their typical forms, (as seen used by the S'pht'Kr) and into the strange garb of the Compilers and the armor of the Cyborgs.

Usage of "Forms". Check

After Pthia's death, Yrro scattered the S'pht across Lh'owon, separated them into eleven clans

Hierarchical society with different clans (Arms). Check.
The main two differences here are the usage of smell as a language, and the grew up in water.
Other than that, there are a TON of parallels.
Well, we're getting up there in word count and I've just started to ponder and fully understand the connections between the two series.
A few other random connections I noticed (I will add as time goes on):
Nmarhl and Narhl)
L'phet and S'pht
Alright, we are getting up there in word count, so I think that's it from me now. There are a lot more Eragon-specific relationships I've left out of here; I'll cover these in another post over on that subreddit.
Curious to see if anyone else has found other connections - Let me know what you think in the comments!

I'm a pretty reserved person most of the time, I don't use social media since I prefer to keep my personal life to myself. Usually I spend my free time exploring different hobbies that feel productive, but recently I've been thinking about how cool it'd be to meet someone online who I could talk to about basically anything. I've been scrolling through the sub for a while but found it difficult to get a read on the people here, so it was hard to send that first dm. I eventually decided to just post on here and see what happens.
My #1 interest has always been learning new instruments and broadening my knowledge of music in general. I've been in a few bands since graduating from high school and would love to meet someone who is just obsessed with music of any kind, the genre doesn't matter as long as you're passionate. Personally though I'm into any kind of rock music you can slowly bob your head to while in your thoughts.
I also write in my free time and try to go to the gym as often as possible. I'll gladly be your hype man if you need someone to push you to go to the gym! I used to be a huge gamer, but sadly games just don't do it for me anymore. I can go on about likes and dislikes here but if you're really interested in that stuff then feel free to ask me yourself!
This will probably be the only time I post on here. I won't ask for pictures since I feel like it'd break the illusion of having an online only friend. My only ask is that a little effort be put in, and I'll reciprocate the best I can!

Xpost from relationship_advice, looking for opinions.
we've been together just over 10 months. Over that time some odd things have happened which made me question my trust in her and I like her but have been slightly wary of her since. I've been staying with her at her apartment for the past couple months or so and lately nothing too weird has happened and she seemed to be much better overall. But she recently asked if I wanted to move in and I just felt like I wasn't ready for that kind of commitment at this point as I was still trying to regain her trust and wasn't fully over some of the stuff that happened, and so I ended things. She is completely heartbroken, says she's in love with me and wants me in her life. And I question whether I made the right choice and whether I overreacted to some of the stuff the has happened.
I wanted to write out all the situations but the post got way too long too quick. But one of the bigger incidents was once (before I was staying there consistently) we were texting throughout the day and then suddenly she stopped replying, And I didn't hear from her for the rest of the day. I tried again the next morning and then finally she replied that afternoon but it was a very short response that's very unlike her. Then that night she texted saying a guy had gotten stabbed outside of her apartment while trying to help her with something. So she brought him up to her apt and tended to his wounds and had him stay the night there (she says he stayed out on the couch). I didn't know what was going on and was a little bit angry as well and then she called me. She acted like it was no big deal but she could tell in my voice I was not in a good mood (I was trying to figure out what was happening) and she said I was being rude and hung up on me, and also said the guy had left.
She called again moments later (or I did I can't remember) and there was some guy talking in the background who I thought was one of her roommates but she said it was the guy. I said "I thought he left," she said "he came back." I didn't know what to say and then she's like "ooooh you got real quiet" in a mocking type way. The guy is super drunk and she's pretty drunk too I think. They were both being a little disrespectful to me and he mentioned how they played cards together the night before (something that was a thing her and I had started doing together recently which I really enjoyed) and they mentioned they were going to play a game this night too. He was telling jokes and in one of them mentioned the town and street I live on which was really weird. Also mentioned at one point that his son or sons came over as well (I think to check on him but also it sounded like they hung out for a bit too).
It seemed like he was going to stay the night again. I didn't know what to do but my instincts were going wild and while it was late and I had to go to work early and it's like a 35 min drive to where she lives, I said I was coming. We also facetimed and the dude was chilling laying back on her bed. I stayed on the phone the whole way there. Once I said I was coming she got a little quiet and the guy started acting nervous and at one point said "you didn't mention you had a boyfriend" (she says she did mention it) and "at least we didn't have sex". He kept saying he's got to go but she said stay and meet my boyfriend. I get there and they're in her room with beer cans and tobacco everywhere and then he leaves. She said to him "you can stay but we are taking the bed," (she may have said "room" but I'm pretty sure she said bed) which shouldn't that go unmentioned?? Once he was gone she's like "are you breaking up with me?" I wanted to in that moment but I pictured her just calling up that guy and having him come back if I did right then plus I was still in shock as to what just happened so said "no."
We talked a little about it in the following days and she knew I was not happy with what happened but we didn't have any huge in-depth discussion about it. Since that day she makes random comments here and there like "you're the only guy I want in my room," or "you're the only guy who would be anywhere near my bed" little comments like that in conversation.
There was a point where she was trying to get off of a certain medication, without a doctors help and was struggling with it big time and acting extra crazy due to it and I can't remember if this was during that time or not, but either way it's a bit messed up right? And even though she's been way better lately, I can't help but still be disgusted by this.
There are a few more incidents in the past I'd like to share but this one's probably the worst. And it's too bad because she seems to have changed for the better lately now that she's getting proper medication and whatnot from a doctor but not enough time has passed to where I have regained my trust on her and not think of incidents like this.
TLDR: My girlfriend wanted me to move in and despite feeling a strong connection at times, I ended things because of past incidents which I haven't fully regained trust in her yet from.

Hi Guys,
I've seen so many TikTok videos of people time capsules over their life spans. For example, a guy taking a photo of himself every day until he got married, a dad taking pictures of his daughter from birth to age 18, or parents making videos to their future children. Others have documented lifelong projects, too.
What is something cool I should do that I can look back on? Something original and creative that isn't a huge pain in the ass?
I do have a bucket list from when I was younger, and I check off my goals every New Year. I also made a promise to myself to travel to one new country every year starting in my 20s, based on people's advice.
Anything else that’s cool and creative? I would love for it to be something memorable that reflects me and my growth over the next 10 to 20 years, until I hit 30 or 40.
Any ideas would be great.

I'm sure this question has been asked here a million times, so perhaps it's just a matter of being directed to the appropriate thread! Today is my first day of sobriety, and I just got home from my first meeting. Kept the interaction to a bare minimum (I'm a huge introvert)-- got in a got out as soon as it was over. While it was my first meeting as a self-identified alcoholic, I've probably been to hundreds in my lifetime, so I know the steps by heart and the general workings of a typical meeting. My mother celebrated 30 years of sobriety in January and I went with her to all of her meetings in her early sobriety (she got sober when I was 6 years old and was essentially a single mom by divorce even though my dad was still very much in the picture), and, in adulthood, I've attended her anniversary meetings every few years.
My plan is to attend a few more meetings over the next few weeks, purely as a spectator, and then look into getting a sponsor. I don't want to jump the gun on that, but I do want to start working the steps sooner rather than later and get the most out of the program that I can in these difficult early days of sobriety. Any advice on timing and how people went about finding their sponsors would be greatly appreciated. I realize that it will require me to come out of my shell, which I'm petrified of, but it's obviously a necessary component.
Thank you all in advance.

This is a long post. I'm sorry, I just don't really know who to talk to about this.
My husband and I got married 9 years ago when we were fairly young (24 years old) and had no money and no place to live. My parents are poor and we knew that any wedding we had would have to be really simple and inexpensive.
I've always wanted a big wedding with all my family and friends there, I wanted to wear a black tulle ball gown, I wanted a sit down dinner with everyone and lots of music and dancing. I made so many concessions for our wedding because of budget and time.
We had planned to get married in July on a day that is really important to us, but nothing was working out. So we ended up changing our date to May of the same year because it seemed like the only way things were going to work out which meant that a bunch of people who'd RSVP'd were unable to come. Most of my husband's family wasn't able to be there which was a huge bummer, and some of my out of town family wasn't able to get time off work or change travel plans.
At the time we were engaged I was sleeping on the floor of my mom's room in a two bedroom apartment that we shared with my two brothers and my dad. There was not enough space for all of us, and I wasn't making enough money to move out on my own. My husband and I both come from very religious families so moving in together before marriage was out of the question. We knew we'd get married eventually so we figured why not now. That way I could get out of the cramped apartment. (Plus there was a lot of stress with my dad, and I was on my way out of my religion which was causing more contention at home). Which is why we moved the date up rather than back.
My mom and my aunts basically DIY'd our whole reception which was AMAZING. We had a short and sweet ceremony on the beach near where we live, and had a short open-house type reception at a community center near by. There was no dinner, no dancing, and it was only a couple of hours long.
I need to preface the rest of this by saying I'm suuuper grateful for the wedding we had! Our families put so much work and effort to make sure we had a nice celebration that was affordable. We had a really fun time celebrating and taking photos during and after the event. I have really fond memories of the day and I love looking through our pictures of the day and remembering how exciting and fun it was.
Now I need to explain where I'm coming from.
Even though the community center worked great for the type of reception we did, it just didn't look that nice and I was pretty bummed out that that's all we could afford.
The food consisted of appetizers and cake. We never ate any food because we were running around saying hi to everyone and thanking them for driving the 1.5 hours to the coast to celebrate with us. The only cake I ate was the tiny slice we cut and then was shoved in my face. We had bought 3 cakes for everyone to eat and the smallest one which was 8" was sent home with us because everyone thought we wanted it for our 1st anniversary. It was a spice cake which cream cheese frosting that we ordered because some of our family really loves spice cake. So it never got communicated that we didnt want to take the whole cake home, but that we wanted our guests to eat it.
The dress was an issue. Like I mentioned before, I really wanted a black tulle ballgown. Everyone one in my family hated the idea and said I would regret wearing black when I saw my wedding photos. (And the photos were the only thing we splurged on so I didn't want to regret those). They also said a ball gown wouldn't make sense for the beach so I should go with something else. My mom and dad wanted me to be modest so I tried to find a dress with short sleeves that would be comfortable to wear in 80° weather on the beach. I was really loving the off the shoulder and sleeveless dresses and at the time they had more details I was looking for. I hated white, and I wanted to go for ivory instead as a compromise but I was told that a bride shouldn't wear anything other than pure white. So I felt super stuck, and ended up feeling super confused and frustrated. I bought a $200 dress online that was pure white, but had tulle cap sleeves. Which was also a house disappointment because I had always wanted to go try on dresses with my mom and grandma and best friend. But because of the timing of the wedding, it wasn't possible and there was nothing we could afford in stores. The dress I bought ended up being too big in the bust and too tight in the hips so we took it for alterations. Seamstress was able to alter the bust so it fit properly, but the hips didn't have enough seam allowance to be taken out at all. So on the day of the wedding I couldn't even sit or go to the bathroom. I will say the dress did look really beautiful and I love my pictures, but everytime I think about it I'm just frustrated that I allowed so much control over what I wore. I wasn't comfortable in the dress or how I looked because I hate wearing whitr and the previously mentioned sitting/bathroom issues.
I had originally wanted my makeup done professionally by a woman I worked weddings with, but when we had to move our date up she had another wedding already booked. So instead I did some lessons with her and did my own makeup the day of.
My family knew about all of the concessions we were making for the wedding and everyone said that in the future we should do a re-do and throw the wedding we wanted originally.
So we planned to do this for our 10 year anniversary which will be next year.
Now, we're in the midst of planning. We've seen so many venues, I've gotten so many quotes for services, and everything is so expensive that my husband is scared off of doing the big wedding I wanted. We've had to cut our guest list, and we're back on track to DIYing a bunch of stuff. The other day we were talking and I felt the way I did when we were getting married originally. Like I'm making all of these concessions for other people and because of money. We've saved money for a while and if we threw the wedding we want, we'd blow through our savings. I'm just feeling frustrated and I don't want to wait another 5 or 10 years to do this. Prices will still be going up and I'm thinking we'll just never be in a place to afford the wedding I had envisioned.
I really wanted this re-do to be a celebration of our relationship as well as a thank you to our friends and family for the support and all the work they did for our wedding. I don't want to ask them for help because I just want them to enjoy the event and not stress. But I'm also feeling conflicted because I want to enjoy the event with my husband rather than running around to make sure things run smoothly. We can't afford a wedding coordinator, DJ, or catering staff, we'll be doing a lot of the work ourselves.
It's looking like we're back to engaged and cutting our guest list as well as DIYing decor and probably running the whole event.
My husband doesn't want to spend $10,000 on the event anymore which is what we had discussed and agreed on. But he also hasn't come up with a new budget and everytime I suggest a number he says no, or says nothing. So I feel stuck. I don't even know where to start looking for a venue. I don't think this is going to happen anymore and I'm feeling really upset. I feel stupid that I care so much about this dumb party, and I feel like an ungrateful brat even though my family hasn't said anything about it and they support the re-do.
I guess I'm just looking for comfort, or perspective. Do I need to reevaluate my feelings on this? Should I just let it go and put the money toward something else like investing or something? I have no idea..

My ex-fiance (38M), we'll call him John and I (30F) met 8 years ago. We both came into the relationship with kids from previous marriages but did our best to blend our family. I thought I knew what love was before him but he taught me what love really was. You know, that kind of love that when you think about it your heart hurts but in the best way possible. During the few years we were together we had broken up and gotten back together twice, but every time we came back stronger than before. During that time we got engaged, and even though we had our issues we were happy. When we hit our 7 year anniversary I thought this was it. We had made it through deaths of those close to us, medical issues, issues with family and COVID. If we could make it past all of that, past the 7 year itch it we were meant to last.
During those 7 years I had been diagnosed with bi-polar disorder on top of my already crippling depression and anxiety, and God bless him for sticking it out with me while I was adjusting to all of those medications. I know I was an absolute mess during that time. But January of 2023 I started having a lot of strange symptoms that caused me to spiral. I eventually made a doctors appt and was referred to Neurology for possible MS. After a negative MRI I was referred to Pulmonology for a sleep study for Narcolepsy which I thought for sure was a waste of time and money, but I'd do whatever I needed to do to find out what the hell was wrong. Everything had caused us to fight more than we had in years and I was ready to get back to our normal. Unfortunately I had to wean myself off of all my medications for the sleep study which was by far the hardest month, but eventually got diagnosed and sure as shit I have Narcolepsy.
My medical team and I decided it best to stay off of my medications until we found a narcoleptic medication that would work. Through all of this I tried my hardest to let him know how I was feeling so we could at least know that there would be light at the end of the tunnel at some point. After months of trying new medications and dealing with the absolutely horrible side effects I found a medicine that seemed to be working. Because it can cause adverse reactions to just about everything, they didn't think that getting back on my other medications would be safe. (I have to check every OTC medicine I take with the manufacture to make sure it won't cause any issues, which I follow religiously since taking an antibiotic sent me to the ER already).
We hit a wall in September and decided therapy would be our last ditch effort to make our relationship work, the fighting had gotten so bad that we didn't know if we could keep going the way we were. We made it 2 sessions in before we had a huge blowout and both said we just needed to call it quits. It took me about a week before it sunk in and then it hit my like a freight train. I went from being sad to spending most of the day in tears and sobbing myself to sleep. During that time he moved into the guest room and I stayed in our bedroom to give us some distance until I could move out. He went on a trip to think and get away while I was in that house reliving every good memory we had had there. After he got back I broke down and begged him to work things out, I knew I loved him and didn't want to think of my life without him. I had gotten to the point that I had planned to end my life because a life without him wasn't one I wanted. So fucking selfish on my part because I'd be leaving my kids without a mom. He kept saying that we couldn't make it work and we just needed to move on. As hard as it was, I tried to accept it and shut myself off emotionally to get through it.
I eventually was able to find an apartment that would keep my kids in their schools and with their friends. My moving date was mid-November and I slowly started packing, getting rid of things I couldn't take with me since I needed to downsize and buying the necessities to start over. The night before my move he told me he wanted to work things out and not to leave. All I remember was being so damn angry that he waited until everything was paid for, rented and packed. As much as I still loved him I knew I needed to leave. We decided that we would try and see if we could work things out living apart, maybe that was what we needed. Some space to just get our heads in order. It didn't last long. I was so angry that he would wait until I was out the door to decide he wanted to work things out. After I had spent weeks begging him to work things out. I just couldn't see past my own anger, I wasn't ready to forgive him.
Around mid-January 2024 we started talking again and even though I knew I wasn't in a good headspace I decided to try and work things out due to his insistence. During that time he re-proposed but I just couldn't feel the same as I did before. I knew that I loved him, through it all I never stopped and said he was the love of my life and would be until the end. Despite that it lasted until the last week of February. I drove to his house with the ring in it's box and told him I just couldn't do it. I knew that I had broken him, but I couldn't see it working. As hard as I tried I couldn't picture us, even my own future. I was just so lost.
A couple of weeks later it clicked that everything I had been going through was my bi-polar rearing it's head, unmedicated and in full force. I was so erratic, going through the worst manics I had experienced, the depression and anxiety had gotten almost unbearable and the thoughts of suicide had gotten so bad that I didn't think I'd make it. I had pushed everyone I loved away and isolated myself from the world. I felt numb inside. Despite the risks I went in and got back on the medication I needed so fucking badly to survive.
During that time John and I started talking and seeing each other. I hadn't told anyone else about getting back on my medications and he had been there when I started them the first time. So who would be better at helping me through it than him? I made it abundantly clear that I wasn't ready for anything. I needed to work on my mental health and get to a good place before I could give to anyone. But if he was still around by the time I was in that good place mentally and he still wanted me, I would be all in. We would set a date and get married. No more dating, being engaged for years again, it would be marriage and till death do we part. Throughout that time he assured me that if he was still around and wasn't seeing anyone by then he would be all in as well. We both loved each other more than anything, I just needed to be ok.
During one of our conversations I told him I was close to being better but I wasn't 100% there yet, but he was the one. When he told me that I didn't need to be perfect, because my mental health would never be perfectly in check. I knew I was well enough that I could say that I was ready to be with the love of my life. I finally started to feel again, like everything I stopped feeling had been held behind a wall and it just came crashing down, flooding me with every last emotion I had suppressed. I told him I was sure and ready to move towards our forever. Once I did it was like a switch had flipped. He said he wasn't sure that I really knew what I wanted and that he needed time to figure things out before he could give me a solid answer. That was almost a month ago. We still talk and see each other but he says he is still trying to figure out if he can be sure that I'm all in.
I refuse to beg him to be with me, I've done it before and won't to do it again. I know I love him more than anything. I still get butterflies when I see him and my heart hurts so damn much when I think about how much I love him. I keep telling myself that he's going through a lot, and needs time and I need to be patient. But part of me feels like he's punishing me for breaking his heart in February. I'm at a loss. I'm hurt that after all of this time and all of those conversations we're in this state of limbo. Do I wait and hope that he eventually figures out whatever he needs to figure out or do I just give him space and cut off the daily communication and hope that one day he'll tell me that he wants to move forward?

Well this was my very first year participating in the madness lol. Out of 300+ Releases , Honestly only 2 were MUST haves for me which were , My Life With The Thrill Kill- Kult Kooler Than Jesus EP.
With 11.5x11.5 blotter sheet Limited to 775 & & Garbage - Lie to Me EP. Limited to 3k
Luckily I was able to get those among the rest. Gotta admit Alot of stress & anxiety comes with this day. It's completely turned into something else which I do not know how it was before but I've heard it was a much better environment, with more actual music fans & that type of crowd etc not the people scared to even say what vinyl there getting or straight lie to u in the face about it lol anyways ended up spending $370 on all these SMH plus 1 more Olivia (not pictured).
My only regrets are falling for the resale hype buying the Noah koan BS , honestly was just trying 2 justify spending so much. since I did everything ALMOST right though I figured I'd try to get one for resale & those things won't even sell for face value! 🤣. That kid completely conned RSD by releasing the album 2 days later after he was the #1 selling artist prior so they FLOODED RSD 24 with 30k releases that were ALL bought from him) Republic (including the EP) but that was 15k x $39 that could have went to the local record store on a normal release aka a huge part of what the whole thing is about keeping them in business instead Noah koan was #1 this year again according to Billboard.com so there marketing obviously worked even i fell for it loll. So I guess I'm stuck with that haha but other than that the only things I wanted that I could not get were DELORES OREDION are you listening Dio Zoetrope Black Sabbath Paranoid UK RSD Tricky Angels with Dirty Faces RSD UK Noel Gallagher Lil peep & Dead or Alive.
But id say I did good this year and I'm excited for Black Friday just hoping the list will be better this year.

Hi Charlotte, I have a wedding story for you of a wedding I had the misfortune to attend, buckle up guys, this was a train wreck.
I (31f) was always very close with my Grandma. She taught me things like how to knit, she loved teaching me how to cook and when we did family walks in the huge local park, she would "take us to get lost in the woods", because she knew how much my brother and I loved adventures.
My Grandfather always had a parade of mistresses when my Dad and his brothers were growing up, and because my Grandmother was traditional and didn't believe in divorce, she got stuck with these women being practically waved in her face. Sadly til the very end, she loved my Grandad dearly. Myself growing up, from since I can remember, the latest mistress, we'll call her X, was in the picture.
My Grandma sadly developed alzhiemers which meant that my Grandad was even less discreet, parading X around to the point where he would invite her to meals we went to where my poor Grandma was present, the worst one being one where my mother was also present, and the dynamic was Grandad flirting with my mother whilst X gave him daggers, my Grandma not really understanding what was going on, and me just wanting the ground to swallow me up.
Almost 10 years ago my Grandma's health declined, and I would go and visit her at the nursing home, and take care of her each day. My Grandad would visit her and bring X along with him, which I found insulting, but boy had I seen nothing yet.
Sadly she died, and we had a beautiful cremation service followed by a wake at a fancy hotel. Some drama was caused by my Dad's mistress turned girlfriend (I know, it runs in the family), but overall it went smoothly.
A few weeks later, Grandad arranges the scattering of the ashes. He specified no Grandchildren were allowed, which upset me considering I had been with her til the end, but it soon became apparent why. My Dad came home and told me that Grandad, at the ash scattering, announced he was getting married to X, his mistress. I was mortified as to how distasteful it was, but he chose the hotel where he held the wake for my Grandmother, and they would be married in three months time.
I didn't want to go for obvious reasons but my Dad said I had to go so that he wasn't alone. It was the biggest shit show I've had rhw misfortune to witness.
A friend from a former job came along, her job being to ply me with alcohol throughout the day, and boy did I need it.
First of all, all members of my Grandad's family had to wear a flower corsage. I usually think they are cute but I didn't want to be associated with this shit show.
The ceremony itself was okay, I just tried not to pay attention and counted down til we could go to the bar, but afterwards my friend whispered to me "I especially enjoyed the part in the vows where they said with the exception of all others!"
For the drinks reception I had to endure my Grandad's pretentious friends coming to me to tell me how lovely it must be to see my Grandad getting married, and according to my friend, I had a fixed serial killer smile whilst she would run to the bar and swiftly press drinks in my hand.
We all had the meal and then the speeches, oh god, the speeches, I have never wanted to crawl under a rock so badly. First there was the best man speech, where he told the story of first meeting Grandad and X, telling everyone "it soon became clear what the arrangement was!" with a wink to the audience, and ended with a joke about my Grandmother being a frigid cow.
X's speech was sentimental bollocks about finding love, which is all well and good, but he was married to my Grandma at the time.
Her brother made a speech about how Grandad used to wait for X on the drive in his (insert expensive car here), again, whilst married to my Grandma.
The final straw was during Grandad's speech where he accidentally called X by my Grandma's name, and I walked out.
When I waited in the bar area, a staff member said she recognised alot of us, and I told her "Yeah, for Grandma's wake, this is my Grandad marrying his mistress at the same venue", and after thinking I was joking at first, the nice lady offered me the rest of the glasses of champagne that didn't get used during the toast as they would be tossed out anyway, and I gladly took them off her hands.
Overall I've never been so mortified in my life, not only was the whole thing incredibly tacky, but my Grandma would have been rolling in her grave.
My Uncle managed to escape this circus living abroad, but when he came to visit, they brought out a slice of wedding cake they saved it (English wedding cake keeps for months) and he later told me that when he left, he tossed it out of his car window as he drove off, hoping they saw him.
To add to the tackiness, when Grandad died, he left X a statue of a naked lady he had actually bought for my Grandma, and when we asked why, it came out that he bought it for Grandma, because it reminded him of X, and also to remind my Grandma that X was in the picture.
Sadly this shit runs in the family, as my Dad also had a few mistresses, but luckily I was mostly kept from that as my Mom divorced him when she found out. I have a wonderful boyfriend who luckily hasn't run a mile given my insane family story, and we plan to get married. The family joke is that we should marry at the same hotel as the one used for Grandma's wake and then Grandad's wedding, as we might get a family discount on the third event, but I think I have too much PTSD associated with the place.
Hope you all enjoyed my family wedding drama story, and hopefully this gets read!
*Edit - to add to this whole dumpster fire, when my Grandad died he asked for half of his ashes to be scattered where my Grandma was scattered, and half in the place he used to take his mistress for dirty weekend trips.

Hello everyone! I'm sure this is a long shot, but I figured I'd give it a go. Was anyone at the matinee of An Enemy of the People on April 28th? My boyfriend and I were so incredibly lucky to be chosen to go onstage after the short break. We're huge fans of both Jeremy Strong and Michael Imperioli, so it was the most monumental experience for us. I'm looking for anyone who might have photos of that portion of the show. I'm putting together a scrapbook for him and I'd love to include that if anyone has any pictures. Thank you so, so much in advance!

There's one thing I've felt and realised that no matter how many friends we surround ourselves with in real life, there are moments when loneliness can still creep in and take hold. That's when this wonderful world of internet comes in handy, and I guess it's finally the time for me to give this a try.
I'm a 22 year old Indian guy who is currently pursuing his masters degree in Italy. And being in an entirely different country on my own sometimes takes me to that loneliness territory. I'm a 6'1" tall guy (if that matters to you) and I crave those funny & deep conversation that are something more than just being shallow. You know the conversation, where every text makes you more elevated, and you can't help but just cherish that wonderful moment. The conversation flows naturally, and you keep on talking to each other irrespective of the time that has passed.
Love is one of the most exquisite things in this world, and it can hold different meanings for different people. But love for me, is all about care and affection that you show to your partner, that rock-solid assurance that no matter what, you've always got their back. It's when you eagerly anticipate their texts and feel like the luckiest person once it pops on your screen, when their presence, whether online or in person, gives you the reason to start your day with a huge smile. And I've seen my own shares of ups and down in my love life, but that doesn't make me lose any hope, and hopefully I'll soon find my ONE.
A little more about me: I mostly spend my free time analyzing or studying the movies, shows or music. I appreciate this world of entertainment a lot because they are like my escape from this reality. So, if you're the same, then we can nerd over our favorite movies & music. I also like to write about stuff sometimes, mostly about entertainment or some story/thought that popped into my mind.
But recently, I have been reading a lot of true crime stories. So, if you have some recommendations or insights into this genre, then you better hit me up, I'm always open to know more about this.
What am I looking for: I'm looking for a like-minded lady who is around my age (20-24 years old) and shares my passion for meaningful conversations. I'm interested in getting to know someone who enjoys talking about their day, what have they been up to, their dreams, their ambition, basically everything they feel comfortable sharing. If you're looking for a partner who is genuine, respectful, and eager to build a meaningful connection, then let's start talking! We can begin with a conversation on Reddit and if we both feel comfortable enough, let's move to some other platform and see where this takes us.
What can you expect from me: You can expect a genuine and understanding guy who is truly interested in getting to know you. You can also expect a funny and deep conversation, I'm a good listener and enjoy hearing different perspectives, so feel free to share your thoughts and experiences with me.
I can be a bit flirty sometimes if I feel like we have a genuine connection, so I hope you wouldn't mind that. I believe that a little bit of banter and humor can go a long way in building a connection, so don't be surprised if I try to make you laugh or catch your attention with a cheesy joke or two. However, I also respect boundaries and will never push beyond what makes you feel comfortable.
I'm a private person, so I'm NOT much inclined towards sharing pictures right away. I like to make sure that we both have trust and confidence in each other, and once we have established that, then we can definitely exchange photos and more.
Oh damn, I've just realized that this has become a very long post, so if you've read this in its entirety, give yourself a pat on the back. Out of so many things you could have read in this time, you chose to read my paragraph, and I already appreciate you for that. So, if any of these loong lines makes sense to you, please message me, and let's have some great conversation. I'll be waiting, and I hope you have a wonderful day. You deserve that.

28 M, 6ft and 146lb
Hi guys 👋 I hope you're well, first off apologies in advance for what will be a long winded post but I'll try keep it concise and information based 🙂
I've been suffering for the past year with some very strange symptoms

• Swelling of lips, hands and soles of my feet (allergies have been ruled out I had a test already) it also appears to happen randomly hot days / cold days. When I haven't even eaten anything yet. There's nothing obvious I can link it to
• Extreme fatigue but also complete insomnia at night
• My appetite seems to fluctuate generally I was always a great eater. Dear God I love food haha. Lately though there could be some days that I don't feel hungry at all and have one meal just for the sake of it but food doesn't appeal to me really anymore.
• General feeling that like my body is inflamed hard to describe but I get like dull pains all over the place but mainly my lower back / knees
• Quite severe brain fog and forgetfulness. I will constantly misplace things. Walk into a room and forget what it was I came to do. This one is the main one that gets to me and upsets me because I feel like an old man. At one stage I thought I had dementia or something as ridiculous as that seems but I could watch a movie and then the next day be left scratching my head thinking what was that great thing I watched last night. My partner will talk to me about things and then say "I told you this already an hour ago/last week/yesterday" and I'll have absolutely no recollection of it.
• Very weak. My strength is laughable people have pointed it out to me that a guy my age shouldn't be struggling trying to carry a bag of groceries for example.
• Mood swings I can get quite frustrated for no reason again I'm usually a very laid back person but lately the smallest things are annoying me. Even my partner who is great is irritating the life out of me and I feel so bad because I'm like I have no reason to get frustrated at you.
• 2 weeks ago I also collapsed outside of a pub I had only like a couple of drinks (5 pints of beer over a period of 5 hours) and was not drunk. Started to feel very faint out of the blue and my vision blacked out and I ended up being taken by ambulance to the hospital. My heart rate was all over the place. I was discharged from hospital and was told it was alcohol intoxication which really annoyed me because although technically my blood alcohol levels would've indicated I was "intoxicated" I know for a fact I wasn't I have drank 3 times as much and been absolutely fine. I also walked out of hospital and had a perfectly coherent conversation with the nurses and doctors. I just feel like because of my age and being a young guy that just happened to pass out while out socialising they jumped the gun which has really bothered me.
• I have since had an ECG that came back normal but I was told those things are pretty useless unless you're actually having an episode while it's hooked up to you

I got blood test results back a few days ago and it said I had "raised non specific inflammatory markers" I'm not sure exactly what that means but my doctor told me to just take antihistamines. I'm currently waiting for multiple appointments with cardiology, immunology, respitory and sleep specialists.
Medication wise I'm only on 25mg promethazine (Phenegran) taken every night to help me sleep but it literally does nothing it's currently 1.30 am in Ireland as I write this post lol.
My doctor seems baffled and hasn't really given me any indication of what this might be. Obviously I'll have to just wait for all of these different specialist appointments but I thought maybe I could be pointed in the right direction of some possible causes of this or what might be beneficial to discuss with my doctor. I must admit I'm a terrible patient as when I go in I sometimes struggle to describe exactly how I'm feeling or else I forget to mention specific things due to the brain fog/anxiety I also hate bothering people and hate even asking for help as I feel like I'm being dramatic.
I have shared some pictures of the swelling I get in my lips. I have no pictures of the swelling I get in my hands or the soles of my feet as you can't even see it only feel it.
All of this is having a huge impact on my life I recently left my job because I was just physically and mentally not able to continue with it. It's irritating because I feel like my body is falling apart around me and I think people just think I'm dramatic but in my gut I know there's something going on.
Many thanks and apologies for that novel!! 🙂
https://ibb.co/Qfn7gV1 https://ibb.co/XbccqNP https://ibb.co/F80wTC9 https://ibb.co/2cqp1Gj https://ibb.co/0yFY43q

Hello everyone! I'm sure this is a long shot, but I figured I'd give it a go. Was anyone at the matinee of An Enemy of the People on April 28th? My boyfriend and I were so incredibly lucky to be chosen to go onstage after the short break. We're huge fans of both Jeremy Strong and Michael Imperioli, so it was the most monumental experience for us. I'm looking for anyone who might have photos of that portion of the show. I'm putting together a scrapbook for him and I'd love to include that if anyone has any pictures. Thank you so, so much in advance!

Last week, I had this small papule that appeared on my penis. It quickly turned into a huge swollen red pimple that hurt like hell. But after few days, I took a shower and it changed into a chancre looking formation. The base is neither red nor is it producing puss or any other fluids, it is hard but not smooth and doesn't look like an ulcer, and the whole thing doesn’t hurt anymore. Could this be just a healing pimple (which is already much better) or a syphilis papule that got irritated and swollen due to masturbation? I’ll do the test soon but I’m feeling really restless and I’d like to hear your opinions. I don't know if I can add a picture link. It focuses only on the formation and is not very revealing. I will add it if I am allowed.
I am a 30 year old male (M30).

His ex sent me this message. Sorry it’s so long! Has anybody else gotten a similar message in the past? How did you react?
Message below: “It’s been over a year of me wondering whether I should just come out and ask you or message you… but being afraid that if I do, and I’m wrong, it’ll be a the biggest mistake of my life. I have begged and begged him to tell me what you are to him, and he denies having anything more than a platonic friendship with you.
I want to preface this message with, I have no ill will towards you, I just want some answers… answers I don’t believe I’m going to get from Jared. I don’t know if he’s mentioned anything about me. So here goes…
November 2022, I sent Jared an email, telling him I loved him, missed him, and though I didn’t require a response back, I wanted him to know how sorry I was for everything that had happened and things had ended. He responded with a lengthy email telling me he still fervently loved me and how he too was sorry for how things had ended. That email lead to the last year and a half of events.
December 2022, I drove down to Roanoke and surprised him at the Carilion garage. He left the hospital as fast as he could that night, and we spent the rest of that evening together, catching up, and he left for Key West two days later. Two weeks later, he came up to DC and we had a late birthday celebration for him at Clyde’s in Georgetown and went to see A Christmas Carol at the Ford Theater. A few weeks later we drove to Jersey to see Matchbox20, by now it was the end of January 2023. Almost every week off, for the last year, he would come up and see me, if even for only two days, or I would drive down to Roanoke and spend the week with him. We spoke about our past, the hurt, and future, he told me numerous times that when he pictured marriage and children, it was only with me, but he needed time. This part is important, and I’ll come back to it later. We celebrated my birthday at a restaurant in Navy Yard, two weeks before you guys left for London. Chris video chatted with that night while we were at the restaurant eating Wagyu, and they discussed the new shipment of sunglasses Chris had gotten for Miggieswear.
The weekend of the Super Bowl, he had come seen me earlier that week, the day after he left I came to Roanoke and left the day of the Super Bowl. He told me his parents were having a viewing party and he had to go home and cook. I’m now assuming he left my Airbnb and came to your place.
That February he planned a trip to London, with Nicole, Ryan and Chris, and what he told me were, Nicole’s “friends.” Nicole happened to post a picture of you guys sitting on the plane and I was shocked, why would Nicole’s friend be sitting between him and Ryan. I sent him a message while you were on that 6 hour flight, telling him that if he had been seeing somebody, then why didn’t he tell me? There was no point in us spending time together if he had moved on. His response to me was “do you even know what you’re looking at? I’m surprised you don’t recognize her, that’s Nicole’s friend. You’re jumping to a lot of conclusions right now and don’t know what you’re talking about.” Something in my gut didn’t believe it but I wanted to trust that, so I did. I put you out of sight, out of mind. When he got back, he told me how he wished I’d been there with him, we both love history and old buildings, it’s a place we would have found magical together. I don’t know who came up with the idea of going to London, but part of me always thinks I’m the one who put it there when I shared the pictures i had taken when I went there the year we had been no contact.
We went to a Kenny Chesney concert in Charlottesville that March when I got back from my family trip to India, and he got back from London. Between work, us both traveling with our families, we were excited to see one another. We were going to go to St Augustine, but because of the weather, we stayed in Roanoke and saw Kenny Chesney in Charlottesville. The original plan had been to spend the night in Charlottesville at a hotel, but we couldn’t get one last minute so we ended up driving back to Roanoke and sneaking into the basement at his parents house and sleeping in his bed at 3am.
A few months later, we went to Richmond, and stayed the weekend, exploring the city, and watched Hamilton at the Altria Theater. A few months after that, we went to Savannah and Atlanta, where he got a flat tire driving into the garage, and spent the rest of the weekend at a yoga retreat. July, he asked me to go to Boston with him and his brother, for 4th or July weekend, but I couldn’t because my siblings were in town. Every single week, he came down and either stayed with me, or made a quick trip to spend time with me…
This past September, I found out he took you to Justin’s wedding, and I broke. I needed more from him. I have known him, been intimate with him, shared my every fear, worry, I have brought him home cooked meals from DC and surprised him at work with dinner, I’ve made him care packages. I’ve made Ryan Easter baskets and sent him birthday presents and encouraged Jared to put him in academic classes, I’ve helped Jared look into private schools for Ryan, and weighed the pros and cons of the options. I had no expectations in return from him other than, at the very least, a mutual respect and HONESTY.
I’ve seen him quite a few times since September and I last saw him in Roanoke at the beginning of March 2024. We sat in front of each other, in his car before he went into work that Monday night, and he told me, again, that when he thinks of marriage and a future, I’m the only one he pictures a marriage and children with. I’m not saying this to hurt you, or to make a point, I’m saying it because i don’t know what to believe anymore.
I became suspicious of his relationship with you, when he mentioned going to Macchu Picchu and hiking through the mountains. As all women have the ability to find out details they might later regret, I did the same thing. Except I didn’t believe he had actually gone to Macchu Picchu. I knew his passport had been long expired since around or before COVID, and I knew he had renewed it before he went to London. But that was when I realized you were the girl in the photo that Nicole posted. When I confronted him about Macchu Picchu, he told me he had been joking and he had also already told me he’d been joking. He had NEVER told me it was a joke, he had actually refused to show me photos when I asked him for pictures from the trip… he had then proceeded to change the topic, which is what had even raised red flags in my head.
My point is, I have asked him point blank so many times whether you two have a relationship. You tell me you still love me, that you picture marriage and a family with me, but this girl is a part of your life, and you took her to a wedding with you, while I was on a trip with my siblings, you took her to London with you, and you continue to tell me she’s just a friend. I asked him again on Tuesday night/Wednesday Morning after he left work, if you two are dating, and he said no. He asked me why I’m so hyper-fixated on somebody who’s just a friend when he has a million other female friends.
In September, he told me he needed a month to clear his head, that he wanted to commit to me, but he was afraid and that he needed to get over the fear and roadblock of our past break up. I gave him grace and understood. So we took a 4 week break. Some time during that time period, he sent me a snap of doves, and said “doves, and swans mate for life.” He sent me Ed Sheeran songs telling me he wants to find his way back to me. “No Strings Attached… you are the one I love”
In November, he messaged me and told me he had a surprise for me and to look for something in the mail. He loves the Count of Monte Carlo, it’s one of his favorite movies, and he told me it was in reference to that. A few weeks later I got a candle, a silver 400 dollar Buddha candle from Thomson Ferrier. I didn’t understand the reference to the Count of Monte Carlo, but it was a beautiful gesture and present… especially because he knew how much little gestures from him mean to me.
Fast forward to January, I got another 350 dollar black skull candle from him, from Thomson Ferrier. At this point I was upset, angry and livid. I called my sister in tears that evening. I had come back to him because he told me he loved me, that he “has a fire that burns so deeply” when he thinks of me. If i had known that wasn’t true, i would have closed the chapter a year and a half ago. I don’t want $700 worth of gifts and candles, I want more. I want marriage, I want children, I want our lives to move forward, I want communication. Out of anger, I packed up the candle, his sweatshirts and clothes that he had left at my place this past year, and mailed them back to his house. I’m sure it’s sitting somewhere in his basement closet/ bedroom… along with his white Huq sweatshirt, a picture of us I had up in my house, and various articles of clothing.
What upsets me is that he didn’t just involve me this year, he involved my family. He sent my mom presents, my parents in return sent him gifts. My sister, parents and cousins messaged him asking him to come around more. There was no point in involving my family, if he was going to involve himself with you. There was no point in involving himself with me, if he was going to involve himself with you. Those leather Indian shoes sitting in his room, my dad bought those for him. That blue sweater, those green pants and that maroon shirt, my parents bought those for him just this last year.
I don’t know what he’s told you about me, but I will say this. I was your age when we started dating. I was 29 years old. He was single, that’s what everyone in our residency program thought. He would tell everyone how Shari left him one day, all of a sudden just got up and left. “I saw the look behind her eyes just change when she looked at me.” He would tell everyone his horrific dating stories. When i started dating him, there was no doubt in my mind he was single… but I was wrong. He wasn’t single, he was dating Devon, one of the nurses from Carilion, and he had been for the past 4 years prior to that. At one point when he moved to Norfolk, she had even moved in with him. Even Shari was visiting him in Norfolk during this time period. I would have never suspected it, nobody in our residency program did. It wasn’t until one day, when he told me his friends were visiting from home, and they were all going to a concert together, that I found out. Her profile picture was of the two of them together, and her Facebook relationship status said “in a relationship.” Out of my own naivety, i believed him when he told me she was crazy and obsessed with him. He told me, to him, they were just friends but she wanted more. Women do a lot of things, but no woman is dumb enough to think she’s your girlfriend when she’s not. When we moved back to our hometowns, Devon was there waiting for him. He disappeared one day for 24 hours, told me that he was helping his dad’s friend who was stranded in NC. A year and a half later, i would find out that was a lie and that he had been at a concert Florida Georgia Line concert with her. She had been visiting his grandmother with him, staying at his parents home. The irony is that a few weeks after he took her, he took me to the same concert in Scranton. Him and his family didn’t bat an eye when a month later, I showed up and was the “new girlfriend.”
Eventually Devon found out about his lies and left him, but again, stupid me thought she was a crazy girl who just wanted so badly to be with him, that she built their relationship up in her head.
Dignity, respect for humans, empathy, are the most important qualities in a human being.
What I don’t wish is for you to be in my spot in 5 years. He will paint you in his colors, make you fall in love with MB20, and take you to Augustana concerts, he’ll tell you that you understand him, and his heart in a way that nobody else does. He’ll bond with you over music, and send you songs that make you feel he’s talking about you. He is so good at making you feel seen, and involving you with his family. He’ll say he had a vision of a girl that looks like you, coming into his life, and here you are, his soul mate. And one day, the same way that Shari, Devon and I got lost in him, the reality of everything will come pouring down on you. Be careful, there are signs between the lines, and the smiles, and good times. Make sure you don’t miss those, whatever you decide.
My relationship with him, started off just like yours. Another girl on the periphery, and teetering the line of inappropriate. Everything you call him out on, will always have an excuse, and you will believe him because he’s the “good guy” who goes above and beyond for people.
I don’t wish for any woman to go through the pain I’ve gone through, the manipulation, the lies and the emotional abuse. I can’t tell you what to do, but I will say, be careful and don’t be blind to the small things that will one day become huge. The novelty will fade, and though Jared isn’t the devil, he has a lot of growing up to do at 40. It was not okay to toy with me and drag me through the mud this year. It wasn’t okay to minimize his relationship with you and lie to me about it. It’s not okay to, to this day claim to see a life with me and not commit to it. I deserve better, and you deserve better.
How men talk about their ex’s and other women is an indication about how they will one day talk about and treat you. That is the worst and best lesson i have learned. I’m 34, years of my life wasted, and he took another year of my life knowing full well, this is how it would end. He’s sat on the phone with me for hours talking about how stupid PA’s are and if you were going to not be a doctor, at least become an NP, who has better bedside knowledge. Why would he say that, because i suppose you’re a PA and it minimizes the significance of even having a relationship with somebody who isn’t as intelligent as he is. The lack of respect will always be there, you just have to look for it.
Dishonesty, and manipulation are a plague, and if that’s who you are at 40, it is who you will always be unless you recognize that something needs to change. Where there is no accountability, there can be no change. I’m not the exception, I’m the same as the two girls before me. He’ll show you text messages where he never responded to me, even though he replies on Snapchat where every thing is erased. I cannot believe i didn’t see the signs. He will make me look crazy and laugh at me, the same way he showed me messages from Jen, and Elisabeth, and Devon, and made them sound crazy to me. I guess that’s his MO. The same way he told me you were nothing to him.
I was going to send you this message, two months ago… i then decided not to because he convinced me he wasn’t dating you… I saw him less than a month ago in Roanoke, i begged him to tell me that he was in a relationship with you. He said he wasn’t, again, he told me he was going to a wedding alone with only Ryan and that he wasn’t taking you. I then begged him to tell me that we were done and that he didn’t love me anymore. His response was idk what’s going to happen a year from now, i know I’ll see you again. His response every time has been when im ready for a relationship, emotionally, do you want me to finally let you know? I don’t care to be with him anymore. I’m so over it but i really think you should know the type of person you’re dealing with.
He has put me through so much hell for a year and a half of my life, stringing me along acting like he’s doing me a favor while he works on his own mental health and claims to still love me when we are together.”
TLDR: my SO’s ex messaged me saying he’s been seeing both of us for the past year and a half. Has anybody experienced this before. She sent me pictures from the past year of them and their text exchanges