I currently (40M) had my ex (35F) completely destroy our relationship while I was working out of town for a few months. This happened a year ago and wish I had these stories as a resource while going through it. I have just started to use Reddit and been reading the experiences of others here and have decided to share my story in hopes it will maybe help others. That way some good may come from some of the worst times of my life.
A little backstory for context for the story and insight to some of the decisions I made. When I turned 30 I left the major city in my Province (it is like a state if you are an American) because buying just a simple house is over a million dollars and I don't make near enough to afford that. My goal was to move to somewhere more rural to buy a house, meet someone, get married and have a child or two. It was my only dream I had and believed I could attain it. I lived out in the bush on my step dads property in a run down trailer I bought so I could save money for the first 3 years. I had my dog but the loneliness of living in the middle of nowhere had got to me. By then I had saved a fair amount of money, so I decided to move into the town. It was nice, it cut my commute down by 40 minutes, I had started to make a few friends and no longer felt so isolated. It was through my friends I met my future ex. Let's call her Kali. She had a long term boyfriend when we first met. Their relationship ended a couple of years after meeting her and we started dating a few months after.
We mostly had a great relationship for the next 4 years. The only thing was it was on again off again. She would dump me after I did anything really special for her for a week and beg me to take her back. It was like clockwork. I used to think it was because of her depression and that she didn't believe she deserved to be truly happy. Nowadays I actually think she might have been cheating the whole time and just felt guilty about it when I did nice stuff for her but I will never know the truth. I don't care what the reality is anymore anyway, Time has a funny way of making stuff like that irrelevant. We did have one bigger break of about 5 months. When it happened I took time off work to travel in my RV the whole time. From spring to summer. I really didn't like the town I lived in and decided to use that time to check out the rest of my Provence to figure out where I wanted to restart my life. She was basically the only reason I stayed for so long. I did have a decent job and family close by but most people I met there were not good people. Lots of drug users, liars, and general scumbags. I had only a few real friends there. After I got back and had decided where I was going to move to she had decided she wanted me back. She begged me to stay and be with her. She told me that she wanted to get serious. We started making real progress about getting married, having kids and looking at buying a house. Everything was coming up Milhouse and I couldn't be happier. So You can probably guess this is when my tale becomes interesting for you and life got real bad for me.
My career is seasonal. I work from spring to the end of fall and can go on unemployment insurance or find work. My dad had asked if I could help on his farm breeding horses that winter when I had still planned to leave my town. I had promised him that I would because it would give me a place to stay before people in my field of work would be looking for employees. This had been agreed upon before me and Kali had got back together. Now I have always been a man of my word. It's something I take great pride in. I have always hated liars. I don't mind a little embellishment to make a story more fun or if two people's stories are different as long as they both believe that was how the events happened. Everyone remembers things slightly off. She was upset that I had intended to keep my word to my dad but I had every second weekend off. The town my dad is in was only a 2 hour drive. So I told her I would be back twice monthly for weekends and that it would only be for 4 months. For the first two months everything seemed fine. During this time I started to look at rings to pop the question and booked an expensive spa for two days in May to propose. There was only one weird thing that happened during the first two months. On one of my visits she confided in me that her brother's wife had cheated on him and that their newborn baby was most likely not his. I was shocked that she not only knew but didn't plan to tell him. She said she didn't want to tell him for fear of breaking up the family. I told her that he has the right to know and that she was being a bad sister by knowing and not telling him. I also informed her if he found out she knew and didn't say anything that he would most likely kick her out of his life. She made me swear I wouldn't tell him. Even though I thought it was wrong I did agree to not say anything. It did get me wondering how she could not only not tell him but stay friends with someone that could do that to her brother. I think that's when I started to question her morals. The third month she asked that I didn't come out because she was "sick". I told her I didn't care, I could still come out and take care of her. She convinced me that she didn't want me to come so I just worked on the farm instead. I switched weekends so I could come out the next instead of in two weekends. The weekend she was "sick" her phone was off the whole time, lasting into the week. She told me her phone went through the washing machine. She was actually on a bender but I didn't learn that till later.
So I head out the following weekend. As soon as I arrive I start getting super sketchy vibes. I was already weirded out about the stuff with her brother and ghosting me for 4 days as we talked/texted multiple times a day normally. At first she acts great to me, cooks me steak and we go out to the bush to have a fire in the snow. At the fire she really started drinking heavily. She then mentions a guy she had been hanging with lets call him Brad. So alarm bells start going through my head. We go back to her house and she keeps drinking. I wanted to keep a clear head so I only had three beers all evening. She put her phone down unlocked because of how drunk she was and I took it to the bathroom with me to look up texts between them. I felt so guilty for doing it at first but once I see the text between the two of them the guilt is replaced with rage. I go to her room to confront her and she breaks down. First, how dare I go through her phone, this never would have happened if I would have broken my promise to my dad, nothing really happened between them, blah, blah, blah. I was furious and drove off. She blows up my phone the whole time. I don't answer. Ten minutes after I left her mother called me. She lives at her moms house. I took the call and her mom said she is freaking out and has harmed herself. I decide to go back and she has a bandage wrapped around her arm. Her mom hid all the sharp objects she could find. She was having a full on panic attack and begs me to not leave. I told her I would stay if she told me the truth. She admits to hooking up with him one time just that last weekend when she asked me not to come out. It kind of matches the messages and I believe her. I stay there till she falls asleep. Once she does I send Brad a text saying that she has a boyfriend with some screen shots of our conversations me and her have had that week. I was about to drive back to the farm when the dude called her phone. I pick up the call and tell him I am her boyfriend. He asks if that was a joke and I assure him it is not. He said he didn't know and actually apologized. I tell him that I'm pissed but if he didn't know I couldn't blame him. I should have asked him more questions but I was tired, not thinking straight and just wanted to go back to the Farm even though it was two am by this point. I get home and crash. Turned my ringer off because I know once she wakes up she will start calling like crazy. After getting the horses in for the night I decided to look at my phone for the first time all day. Around thirty missed calls and a ton of texts. I decide I need another day before I talk to her. Now while the whole day all I can think about is that it was just one time, she seems to be genuinely remorseful about it, how I'm 39 and really want children before I get too old. I took a call from her the next day on Sunday in the morning. She is still wasted. She hadn't stopped drinking since I was there Friday. We talk and I tell her that I am really upset but am willing to give us another chance. I still was in love with her and wanted to have kids, get married and buy a house with her. It was the dream I felt I worked so hard for. She was so happy I took her back and swore to me nothing like this would ever happen again. Basically I was a fool lol.
So I decided on my next set of days off to borrow my stepdads summer home on the river so we can have the place to ourselves. I grab food that she loves so I can cook her dinner and try to make it very romantic. I want to rekindle my love with her so I wanted to go all out on an amazing weekend. I pick her up and she is already a little drunk. I kind of wanted to hang sober but I don't wanna mess up with her so don't say anything thinking we can do a sober day when I take her out to go shopping and dinner the next day. When we get there she gets hammered. Kali had brought a big of bottle fireball on top of a bunch of white claws. I again didn't really drink that night. Once she was drunk and tired I carried her to the bed. As Kali is in my arms she looks up at me and says in slurred words "I don't know why you even felt threatened by Joe" I ask "what did you just say?". "I don't know why you even felt threatened by Brad" she replied. I put her to bed and my mind starts racing. Now her ex before me has a really close name to the one she said first but I also know she has a friend named Joe I only met a couple of times. They were not close or even hung out but were more like acquaintances. I go in her purse to look at her phone again but the battery is dead and I can't find her charger. I have an Iphone so I can't charge it up to look. I didn't sleep that well that night with everything going on in my head. I woke up at 6 am to her being very loud on the phone. I went out to the living room and she had drank all the booze left over from the night before. I ask her who she was on the phone with and she tells me an uber to leave. I ask why is she going to leave? Kali tells me she is upset that I tried to get into her phone. Guess I didn't put it back in her purse. Must have been out of sorts and forgot. I tell her I can drive her once I go to the washroom and get some clothes on. I go to do that, come out of the washroom to see Kali has already left. She was so drunk that she had left half her stuff behind. I decided to have breakfast before bringing her stuff to her house. After breakfast I packed her stuff into my SUV and noticed it had snowed that night. I could see her footprints out into the driveway. While Dropping off her stuff I noticed there were no footprints leading to her house, so I tried calling Kali. No answer. I left her stuff in the snow and decided to drive by her brothers and sisters house to see if there were footprints going into any of their houses but there were none. I sent her a nasty text about knowing she didn't go home, to go be with Brad or Joe or whoever and never call me again. It was a lot more profane than that but that's the gist of it. Cleaned up the house my stepdad lent me and back off to the farm yet again. The next day she blows up my phone and again I wait another day to talk to her. She tells me that she went home but I know that can't be true from the snow, but she says I must have been mistaken. She apologizes for getting drunk and leavening and that she is going to stop drinking after her birthday in two weeks. She has rented a hotel in the town I'm in for her birthday and wants to spend it with me. I agree just because I have to know the truth and want to look at her phone to make sure I am not crazy. She had gaslit me to the point I was questioning what I saw with my own eyes. A couple of days later I decided to send Joe a message on Facebook to see if he would give me the truth. I get a text from her telling me not to bug her friend and that she is embarrassed. I apologize and tell her I am excited about her birthday soon.
The weekend of her birthday comes so I go to meet her at the hotel. She brought her sister and other friend along. It actually is a really fun time. The girls did coke the first night into the second evening. I don't really like it but I figured she can let loose especially if she is going to stop drinking after her birthday. I also knew by Saturday night that they would all crash hard so it would give me time to look at her phone so I could know the truth. As I mentioned the weekend was really fun so I felt bad about going into her phone yet again. I did it anyway and my whole world came crashing down. Now I figured that I would maybe see Brad or Joe texts and Facebook messages. Seemed like Brad was done but Joe and her were totally hooking up. I also found out that she had slept with 3 other guys. I also saw she was using coke all the time now. She did it maybe three times a year when we dated but now it was every weekend. It looked like she started using regularly right before I left for the farm. Joe helped get it for her too, out of all the guys he was the one she hung with the most. Turns out he was also a meth head who was trying to quit for her. She also went to his house the morning she left the other weekend to hook up and buy coke. I was floored. I just staired and took screen shots till the early morning. I decided I wasn't just going to dump her but I wanted to ruin her life not realizing she was already doing that all by herself but hindsight is 20 20. So I started coming up with a plan of what I was going to do. I woke up the next morning and acted like everything was fine and went back to the farm. I was still so upset and didn't want to harm myself or others so had a family friend take my firearms for a while. I don't think I would have used them on myself or others but I knew I wasn't thinking clearly and didn't want them in my house while I was like that.
I didn't have to see her till I moved back because the next set I had off I had tickets for a concert in the city I used to live in. During that time all I thought about was how I was going to do something to ruin her life. I came up with some small things but my main plan was to pretend like we were fine and ghost her when my contract was up with my boss next winter. I had promised him another year after kali and I had gotten back together. Just typing it out makes me look back and cringe that I was so crazy. When I went to the city for the concert I told my best friend, my brother and a few others my plan. No one liked it and thought I should just go no contact, cut her straight out of my life. That probably was the smart thing to do but emotion was clouding my judgement. Also you all would get this story. They even informed me that because I would be lying to her, that I would be compromising my morals and turning into a worse person they didn't recognize. I either didn't see it that way or care. I have a hard time recalling what my brain was thinking during that time. All seems like a haze now that it's been a year. I think I was really upset that my dream and all I had worked for was ruined. A friend later said I may have been in love with the dream and not her. Maybe that's the reason I kept up all this insanity.
My time on the farm had come to an end and I was moving back to the town me and my ex lived in. I was set with my plan, excited to implement it and have what I considered just. But you know what they say of the best laid plans. My ex wanted to go to hang at her brothers as a welcome home party. I went but ended up drinking. Heavily drinking, to the point of black out. I don't remember much from that night but have had it recounted for me. I woke up in the drunk tank. Guess I couldn't lie and play it cool then huh? The story I was told later is, while at her brothers I had gotten drunk and loud. Kept waking up the new baby and we were asked to leave. So we caught a cab and I confronted her in the cab but all I could do was call her a lying, cheating, whore on repeat. She got upset and ran into the house locking me out. I had a bunch of my stuff in her house so I went to the door and demanded she let me in. All the while still only referring to her as the aforementioned 3 words. She told me to leave but my jacket and wallet were inside. It was below freezing at night still and probably wouldn't have made it home in the state I was in. I then kicked in her door to keep calling her LCW and grab my stuff. She was on the phone to the police, so I was taken away by them. One of the lowest points in my life. It still brings me so much shame to this day but it is what happened and I am not going to sugar coat it. I never laid a finger on her and I am so happy that I hadn't. Laying hands on women in that way is one of the scummiest things a man can do. I had to go back to her house once they let me out because my stuff was still there. I apologized to her mom who had been at her boyfriends that evening promising to repair the door for her. Kali begged me to talk to her and like an idiot I didn't just leave. I told her I saw everything and she only admitted to Brad and Joe. Lying about them and the others the whole time. Even when I brought up the screen shots she still couldn't come clean. I left just shaking my head. There is still a ton to this story but this is long enough. I could do a part 2 if there is interest. Catching you folks up to where I am now and the messed up things that happened in between.

I know I can Google, yeah yeah, but it's so much fun to get everyone's idea on it! I'll Google later and depending on your views, you'll be rated and prolly won't measure up to the expectations I have on each of you.. can hear your answers in my head as I type!)
I don't know the difference between a town (like I know what a city is... 🧐) a province, a district, a quarter.. a friggin county, a village.. or a state.. (jk, I think I know what a state it!) ... municipality, you get the gist, and other places with ppl dwell. Can help me best, and I'll invite you to fictional drinks over a cheeseburger and crisp fries..
So what are your views on my question? Like don't google, be organic and spontaneous, just say what comes to mind naturally..
Brought to you by Question of the Day LLC.... 🌈 The more you know 🌈

Some preliminary info:
My mum and I have lived in our townhouse for over 10 years. During that time, we have constructed planter boxes that are set on our driveway (we don't own a car, so we use the space for that). For many years my mother has carried out her hobby of gardening there. We received new neighbors approximately 1.5 years ago. For the longest time, they would be throwing parties that would leak over to the AMs of the next day, as well as do renovations. While being understanding, it got to a point where my mum couldn't take the noise anymore at night. After numerous attempts to contact our new neighbours to decrease the noise of their parties, she finally made a noise complaint to a city. Parties started to occur less frequently.
THEN came the REALLY noisy stuff. The majority of my neighbors' renovation was to finish the basement. It was during this time when OUR house would start to shake at times. Aside from the fact that this distracted my mum from doing her (remote) job, it drew a concern as to what could possibly be happening in their basement that would cause OUR house to shake. Again, she reached out to them numerous times, with vague answers. And again my mother filed an anonymous complaint.
Turned out, they did not have the permits for the type of construction they were doing in the basement. They got super-peeved at us, as they now were delayed and had to spend a bit more money.
Anyways, fast forward to 1.5 months ago, I'm helping mum with gardening stuff. The male neighbor (of the couple) decides to approach us. He decides to "apologize" and be the "bettebigger person". Following his apology though, he makes a complaint about one of our planter boxes, the one that borders the property line between us. He says that some of the wood pieces are falling off/poking out onto his property (fair, though my mum reckons he purposely took some of the pieces of, but that's speculation). He decides to give us an ultimatum: either move the planter box more onto our property (an inch our two, but with soil and wood, probably weighs a ton, so not happening), repair the boards, or destroy it. Otherwise he will complain to the city that the planter box is on his property. So.... he's still a little butthurt that we complained to the city of his actions, and wants to have something over us.
But my mum remained positive. Understanding that the outer pieces of the planter box ARE weathered (some scrap 2x4s, some decent pieces of wood), she set out to buy sheets of new plywood that would be weather-proofed, and would replace those pieces after I took them out and drilled the sheets in.
This evening we were measuring the dimensions of the planter box to figure out what lengths I would need to cut the plywood. To make one of these measurements, we had to step into our neighbors' driveway. He saw what we were doing, and asked us to get of his property. We explained what we were doing, to which he responded "unless YOU have a permit to do this, the only thing you can do is destroy it, otherwise I'll be filing my own complaints" (not verbatim, but that was the gist of it). My mum and him at a little tiff, but I got the last of the measurements for us to then leave his driveway.
I am not a confrontational person; I'm not good at aggression or telling strangers to fuck off. But I do not like the fact that I have this intimidating dude trying to scare my old mum and threatening her to destroy something she's worked years on. Furthermore, I have the following contentions:

• The planter box on the property line border was there WAY before the new neighbors bought the place. To me, the fact that they bought it at all should also be an okay/acknowledgement of the placement of the box on the property line; unless something happened to it that ACTUALLY affects them (eg breaks and soil spills over), they shouldn't (?) have a problem.
  
• We reached out multiple times to them, trying to be civil; if they responded in kind, reassuring us in some fashion, I believe we wouldn't be in this mess, especially if you're doing things you ought to get a permit for. I get taking a few shortcuts here and there, but not a good idea trying to do so if you can't cover your ass/be cautious
  
• I looked at City of Toronto's website (https://www.toronto.ca/services-payments/building-construction/apply-for-a-building-permit/when-do-i-need-a-building-permit/), while it DEFINITELY says one is required when finishing a basement (so we were right to complain), don't think I see one particular about changing out wood for a planter box (which I am not considering an addition to the house, as a line of pots would basically be the same thing)
  
• I am borderline worried he'll try to go out of his way to get my mum in trouble
  
• How else are we gonna replace the old wood with new if we aren't on their property a little? We're specifically doing it because they don't want any of the old stuff breaking off into their driveway (potentially damaging their capop a tire, according to them) in the future. It's gotta make sense!
  
• I think he was "trying to be nice/bigger person", but he just wants to make as sad for making him spend more money and time by making us destroy our own stuff. So much for self-improvement on his part I guess.
  

Anyways, I think we'll try our best to fix up the box as efficiently as we can. We won't be covert about it, but to avoid the neighbors yelling at us again, not gonna loudly advertise it. Just drill out screws, take pieces out, and drill in a big sheet. But does anyone want to chime in on what rights I have if this guy calls the cops on us or makes a scene? Again, we're doing this at HIS request, and he's making it difficult to do. Or if you believe there is bias on my part, feel free to point it out! Free to answer questions as well. Hope I was able to get my points across. Any law stuff would help also!

Some preliminary info:
My mum and I have lived in our townhouse for over 10 years. During that time, we have constructed planter boxes that are set on our driveway (we don't own a car, so we use the space for that). For many years my mother has carried out her hobby of gardening there. We received new neighbors approximately 1.5 years ago. For the longest time, they would be throwing parties that would leak over to the AMs of the next day, as well as do renovations. While being understanding, it got to a point where my mum couldn't take the noise anymore at night. After numerous attempts to contact our new neighbours to decrease the noise of their parties, she finally made a noise complaint to a city. Parties started to occur less frequently.
THEN came the REALLY noisy stuff. The majority of my neighbors' renovation was to finish the basement. It was during this time when OUR house would start to shake at times. Aside from the fact that this distracted my mum from doing her (remote) job, it drew a concern as to what could possibly be happening in their basement that would cause OUR house to shake. Again, she reached out to them numerous times, with vague answers. And again my mother filed an anonymous complaint.
Turned out, they did not have the permits for the type of construction they were doing in the basement. They got super-peeved at us, as they now were delayed and had to spend a bit more money.
Anyways, fast forward to 1.5 months ago, I'm helping mum with gardening stuff. The male neighbor (of the couple) decides to approach us. He decides to "apologize" and be the "bettebigger person". Following his apology though, he makes a complaint about one of our planter boxes, the one that borders the property line between us. He says that some of the wood pieces are falling off/poking out onto his property (fair, though my mum reckons he purposely took some of the pieces of, but that's speculation). He decides to give us an ultimatum: either move the planter box more onto our property (an inch our two, but with soil and wood, probably weighs a ton, so not happening), repair the boards, or destroy it. Otherwise he will complain to the city that the planter box is on his property. So.... he's still a LITTLE angry that we complained to the city of his actions, and wants to have something over us.
But my mum remained positive. Understanding that the outer pieces of the planter box ARE weathered (some scrap 2x4s, some decent pieces of wood), she set out to buy sheets of new plywood that would be weather-proofed, and would replace those pieces after I took them out and drilled the sheets in.
This evening we were measuring the dimensions of the planter box to figure out what lengths I would need to cut the plywood. To make one of these measurements, we had to step into our neighbors' driveway. He saw what we were doing, and asked us to get of his property. We explained what we were doing, to which he responded "unless YOU have a permit to do this, the only thing you can do is destroy it, otherwise I'll be filing my own complaints" (not verbatim, but that was the gist of it). My mum and him at a little tiff, but I got the last of the measurements for us to then leave his driveway.
I am not a confrontational person; I'm not good at aggression. But I do not like the fact that I have this intimidating dude trying to scare my old mum and threatening her to destroy something she's worked years on. Furthermore, I have the following contentions:

• The planter box on the property line border was there WAY before the new neighbors bought the place. To me, the fact that they bought it at all should also be an okay/acknowledgement of the placement of the box on the property line; unless something happened to it that ACTUALLY affects them (eg breaks and soil spills over), they shouldn't (?) have a problem.
  
• We reached out multiple times to them, trying to be civil; if they responded in kind, reassuring us in some fashion, I believe we wouldn't be in this mess, especially if you're doing things you ought to get a permit for. I get taking a few shortcuts here and there, but not a good idea trying to do so if you can't be cautious
  
• I looked at City of Toronto's website (https://www.toronto.ca/services-payments/building-construction/apply-for-a-building-permit/when-do-i-need-a-building-permit/), while it DEFINITELY says one is required when finishing a basement (so we were right to complain), don't think I see one particular about changing out wood for a planter box (which I am not considering an addition to the house, as a line of pots would basically be the same thing)
  
• I am borderline worried he'll try to go out of his way to get my mum in trouble
  
• How else are we gonna replace the old wood with new if we aren't on their property a little? We're specifically doing it because they don't want any of the old stuff breaking off into their driveway (potentially damaging their capop a tire, according to them) in the future. It's gotta make sense!
  
• I think he was "trying to be nice/bigger person", but he just wants to make as sad for making him spend more money and time by making us destroy our own stuff. So much for self-improvement on his part I guess.
  

Anyways, I think we'll try our best to fix up the box as efficiently as we can. We won't be covert about it, but to avoid the neighbors yelling at us again, not gonna loudly advertise it. Just drill out screws, take pieces out, and drill in a big sheet. But does anyone want to chime in on what rights I have if this guy calls the cops on us or makes a scene? Again, we're doing this at HIS request, and he's making it difficult to do. Or if you believe there is bias on my part, feel free to point it out! Free to answer questions as well. Hope I was able to get my points across. Any law stuff would help also!

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Hello Everyone. This is 100% a true story.
I thought this would be a good story to share here as it deals with getting petty revenge on someone who was being transphobic and a horrible person. This is a long story but the ending is worth it.
This story takes place back in 2020 and was just reminded of it by one of my best Friends lets call her "Hannah". Hannah and I had a mutual friend, lets call him Zack. I at the time was just starting to come out as trans. This plays a part later.
Zack and I were friends after I meet him throw an EX, the EX was a good man but I am the type of person that does not do well being friends with EXs but was trying because this EX was a good person. This in the end also I keep talking to Zack and at time thought he was a good guy.
Anyway it was late in fall when Zack brought up moving into together due to I was having a hard time with my family and only had a dorm to live in. During this time he also brought up that he had a friend, Hannah, that was also looking for a place to live as her home life was not great either. I said I would have to her first before I said yes to anything. Hannah was on the same page as me and wanted to meet me first too.
So one day Invited them both over to the dorm I was living in, as if anything went wrong the College I was at had great police (had meet many of them during the time I was at college) this made me feel safer meeting new people. Hannah and Zack came over and me and Hannah hit it off well to the point you would have thought we had been friends for years. There were many times her and I would hang out without Zack, which he never liked. Red flag right there. Due to this I started to see the cracks in Zack's shell.
He was very passive of Hannah to almost boyfriend level. Which got worries after I came out as Transgender. Red flag number 2. He would also try to one up me and say things underhanded about me being trans. Now I am a huge werewolf geek and the underhanded things would be like "I will never be an alpha" or shit like that. Now I never called myself an alpha or anything like that. He also said that I would never have a man's mindsight. I never told Hannah any of this because I wanted to stay her friend and do to my trust problems thought she would take his side so that is all my fault.
One night I was talking to Hannah not sharing everything but told her Zack was pissing me off. She had known him longer then I did. She said that it could be do to his religious background and that could be why he was being a ass. That is when she opened up to me about something.
Turned out they where Friends with benefits. Zack was always wanting to make things more then that but Hannah had been hurt bad by an EX, like almost killed. So she did not trust getting back into any relationship. But felt she was safe with him and thought of slowly building up to a relationship. However she also spilled all the tea on him in bed, and I mean all the TEA!
So lets jump forward a few months to Hannah's Birthday. Zack wanted to host it the first night and then she would spend the next night with me. Hannah was going a hard time with family during this time so we planned a Birthday weekend for her. Turns out Zack invited her over for night before so she would be over one night without me so they could be the Birthday *GIGGITYY*. Well as many people know there is something that happens to most women once a month. Yes, Hannah was on her period. To her defense she did not know what Zack was planning for the night she thought he was just being nice because she got into a fight with her family.
So the next day comes around and they pick me up as I did not have a car. Everything seemed off as Hannah's mood was not normal. I wanted to ask what was up but also thought it was because of the fight with her family so I just wanted to make her happy. The day goes on and we are playing her fav video game. She went to bed early which I thought was odd as the two of us are night owls. I asked Zack what was going on. He said nothing but I could tell he was lying but dropped it.
The next day we get to mail in our city as planned and well Zack was doing something and it was just Hannah and I alone. That is when she told me what was going on between them. Apparently Zack was mad because Hannah did not SLEEP with her the night before I showed up. I was pissed, but then she keep going and he keep pushing and begging for it. to the point that when she said she was on her period he just said "THEY COULD PUT A TOWEL DOWN".
That was it for me I was done playing nice to Zack and started to think of ways to tell him how much of a pig he was. I am the type of person where three stracks your out. Hannah and I are huge nerds and you could say she is some where between punk and goth. So we told Zack we where going to Spencer's. Zack said he was going to go to another store as he hated this store. You see in the frount of Spencer's is a nerd, punk and goth best dream, as for the back of the store is full of sex toys and other adult themed things. Knowing this I told Hannah to pick out something she wanted for her birthday anything, and I would get it for her.
Well Hannah was looking at new pricings and wallets I headed to the back of the store to get some goodies for Zack. I payed for the stuff all without Hannah knowing. Best part the store has black bags that you can't see throw due to the things they sell. After I walked up to Hannah and I bought the things she wanted all to her protest. So she told me she would by lunch witch I agreed too because as friends we hate to feel like we are using each other even on holidays.
We left the store and went to the food court and ordered food. Once we sat down Hannah texted Zack where we were. That is when she looked at the large bag I had gotten and she asked me what I had gotten. I handed the bag and told her it was for Zack. The grin on her face was the best thing that I have seen. You see Hannah is also a very petty person and she very much approved of what I had gotten for Zack.
Zack showed up some time later and we planned to go back to his house so she could her car and her stuff to come to my place for the night. That is when the "gift" was given to Zack. I was putting Hannah's stuff in her car for her and wish I could have seen his face when he first opened bag.
You see when I am hurt I get petty but if you upset someone close to me I get PETTY. In the bag he found a large bag of candy and a few lollypop DICKS. But it gets better, I also got him a female blow up doll. There was also two cards. the first said "Congrats on your new girlfriend" which I signed alone and the other said "suck a mountain of dicks" which we both signed.
The next thing I know Hannah is walking out with the biggest grin on her face. With him storming after her when he saw me he said I was just mad that I would never be a "true man". Hannah turned on her heels but before she could do anything I yelled back "he would never be bigger then my pinky finger". He looked so mad and red. Hannah got in her car, we drove off and never looked back.
This may have been to far but I regret nothing.
Hannah says it was the best birthday gift anyone has ever gotten her due to his face he made when he saw all his new goodies. Hannah and I are still great friends to this day and know we have each others backs on anything.

Hello you beautiful weirdos! I just wanted to post a few tips from a guy who lives in Prague for those who will be coming to visit. The show is in an area that isn't really known for their late night antics so I wouldn't expect much after the show, but you are a short walk uphill through a tunnel to a great night spot, Zizkov.
Transport - Public transportation is great here in the city but make sure that you have a ticket. Download the app from this website and you can buy tickets on your phone. https://pidlitacka.cz/en and I recommend you have a ticket as the IIHF hockey tournament is happening in Prague so we have more visitors than normal and they will be looking to fine tourists. Google maps will also suffice for how to get from one place to another and of course we have ubebolt if you prefer to just get a faster ride.
Beer (Pivo) - It is what this country is known for, Pilsner Urquell is the flagship and if you can find a place that has tankovna it will be even better. Lokal is the big chain around the city and good Czech food with great beer at all places. Around the corner is https://maps.app.goo.gl/YdY9AXdzn42QXsGx6 which has a large indoor place and even tables outside in the back. Dva Kohouty has a nice outdoor area and is walking distance from the show. Bad Flash Karlin has some craft beer quite close to the venue as well. If you just want to grab some bottles BeerGeek Karlin is the spot and they have multiple shops and a bar with 30 taps of beer and decent wings. Download untapped and you can find all the craft beer spots if that is what you are after. Avoid the center for food and drink as you will pay more for sure, but that is the same for any European capital city.
Hockey - As mentioned the IIHF tournament is happening now in Prague and Ostrava so there will be plenty of people wearing jerseys and getting rowdy. There is a fan zone that is free where you can watch on a screen outside and drink and eat with a rowdy environment so if you are into hockey go to Ceskomoravska on the yellow line and you can't miss it. This will also make some places much more crowded as the city is full of people for that, especially if they have TV's as people will be out watching the games.
Partying - Despite what all the signs will tell you we have not legalized weed here in Prague so anything you find in some corner store will be either CBD or some HHC variant. The people on Wenceslas square might have something but you will not get what you pay for and you might also just get some cbd or something else so be warned. Zizkov that was mentioned earlier is a place full of pubs that are open late and your odds are much better of getting something legit. I am not here to promote anything, just trying to help you avoid getting ripped off. Please be safe and remember people do actually live in the city so get as weird as you want, but please don't be a loud mess on the streets after 10 PM as that is the official legal quite time for noise.
Hope that helps and I will come back here and try to field questions up until the show. Have fun and let's enjoy a killer Her and I that I hope to manifest.
Edit - Forgot to add in how to say please and thank you. Please is Prosim and there are many different ways to say it but the easiest to remember is Dekuji. The easiest way to remember is to call someone a dickweed, and remove the d at the end.
Prosím (pro-seem) = Possibly the most useful word in Czech. It means: 1) Please, 2) Here you are, 3) You're welcome, 4) What did you say?, 5) I'll have … and can generally be used in times of doubt.
Děkuji. Děkuji is the most universal form of thank you in Czech. You can use it in formal situations as well as casual ones.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aM4m0H796hc&ab_channel=JunkyardDog
Saw the Coachella feed a few weeks ago and just about lost my marbles when this song suddenly came on. Wish I could find the video feed as the visuals were incredible! This link is just a static image but the mix is really addicting. If you told me I'd be geeking out over an Orbital remix of the most famous Spice Girls song in 2024, I would have thought you had lost your mind..
Visually, you can kind of get the gist from this vid, but the audio is so much better in the first link. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lnknykgpa2Q&ab_channel=ScottBaxter

TL;DR; Will I be unhappy living next door to family?
My sister and I have a close relationship, in that we hangout a lot, but we also argue and disagree on a lot of things. I am 30 and she is 32. The gist of the issues stem from me seeking out a soft quiet lifestyle with kind sensitive people, and she thinks that is a naive view of the world and that I need to toughen up. I've been looking at different apartments around the city I live in and one unit just opened up in her building complex and the landlord and her both suggested I move in. The place is huge and $500 - $1200 CHEAPER than the average units I look at so I know that I won't find anything cheaper. She and I do hangout a lot despite our disagreements but I fear it will ruin my peace of mind and my feeling of home being a "safe space" for me. They're completely different units so I'm thinking if I can uphold boundaries, it would work nicely. What do you think? Has anyone else tried living near a sibling??

Through my back out and called out of work. Going to geek hard playing the best Medieval city builder ever made (Manor Lords.) It has total war style fighting in it too. So much fun. Wanted to a dank movie to watch while gaming and can't decide.
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Title is the gist. I’ve been a PD in a large city for almost five years. It’s what I wanted to do in law school and while I don’t regret it, I’ve noticed myself becoming increasingly burned out over the past few months. I’d like to move away from criminal law and trial work in general, at least for a time, but am not sure what that market looks like for someone with my experience. I don’t have jury trial experience (they’re fairly rare in my jurisdiction), but have handled several dozen bench trials and been lead counsel on about a dozen state-level appeals as well.
ETA: I’m not averse to a job that requires litigation, it’s more the huge volume of high-stakes cases that’s grinding me down. My ideal landing spot would be something with an appellate focus, but I understand those positions are rare outside of government agencies.

Which poem/literature of Bhanku Bhakta Acharya consist of a line or verse mentioning something along the lines of "the one who feeds the thirsty is ..." or " pyasi ko pyas bujaune ..."??? , doesn't have to be exactly that but general gist of it.( heard something like that from a geek but can't remember the whole thing, so out of random curiosity) EDIT: Since it seems many people aren't much familiar with Nepali literature, any quote having to do with thirst from a old writer will do. Still think it's from Bhanu Bhakta

From an anonymous notebook:
They do not look well upon us keeping written accounts of the goings on in their ranks, it is not a matter of distrust, of course, for all members are trusted absolutely, even myself for all that I am quite new. Though no one will search for this tome, and it will near certainly never be found, I still wish to hide my name in case of the most unlikely of chance should come to pass. I have seen what they do to those they see as having betrayed them.
A person who they see as having betrayed them is considered to be weak of heart and they are destroyed. And no I do not mean killed, though perhaps that may be a better fate. No, instead he or she is seized by a group of them and taken away to a secret place, the location of which I do not know, though I have my suspicions. They will be gone for a day and then they will return without so much as a single mark upon their bodies or visible damage of any kind. But I would far prefer a broken arm to sharing their fates, I tell you. You see it is not their bodies which are broken, but their minds. All who experience this fate, have a dull and vacant appearance as if they were asleep with their eyes open. It is like why were once shining diamonds, but returned tarnished and lacking shine of any kind.
Such people they have taken to calling serfs, an archaic term used to describe a laborer bound under a feudal lord, though I am told that the “scientific term” though science may be the wrong word, is “splintered.” And yes there is a reason for this, and I shall explain it later on. Suffice it to say that for my own sake, I will keep my name, along with all actions specific enough to incriminate me, outside of this tome and as you can well see, I have my reasons.
Now that I have explained myself, I should imagine that you, my nonexistent reader, have queries. Perhaps the largest of which is “Who are “they?””
This is a subject which is surprisingly difficult to answer, so I suppose I shall start with the most simple part of it all: their name. They, like most organizations of great size and influence, have many names, but are mostly known by one, The Coven.
And now that I have told you that, I admit I struggle even to put into writing where I should continue. Their scale perhaps? As far as my knowledge on the subject extends, The Coven is a vast and silent spider with its legs spread across all continents and its web ensnaring a great many people.
I am still unsure of many things about it myself as I have not been a member as long as most. What I do not know is perhaps more important that what I do, and I have stayed awake long nights in my bunk and simply questioned. Perhaps is was those long hours of thought alone in my bunk which compelled me to begin this journal. But in any case, I do not know their purpose, or who leads them, or aside from certain surface-level criteria, why they choose certain people to become members.
And yes, people are chosen to join, rather than joining themselves. There have actually ben. a few cases of people joining on purpose, though every such case still had its own measure of accidentalism. The Coven is and always has been silent and secret and so people simple cannot apply and join on their own. In my own imagination The Coven has some hidden criteria or switches out there in the world and when a person reaches that criteria or hits that switch he or she is watched and evaluated to see if he or she could become a member.

By simple deductive reasoning, I have thought of some of the more simple methods my potential trackers would use to decide if one is a worthy Coven member. Obviously, such a person could not have close family or friends who would notice him missing, and would need to be of a certain mind, though I do not know exactly what traits the Coven desires. And of course there is the question of how to integrate a person into the coven. You see, I theorize that it is quite a difficult process. In order to integrate, a person must be able to explain his disappearance to all those he knows, for all but hermits and homeless men know someone. And to suddenly disappear also seems like it requires a degree of intelligence, confidence and ability to lie. Of course, such resources as a car, money, connections, ect. would be valued as well.
But perhaps I ramble, and perhaps I write this journal too much like the essays I am used to. This journal is mine and so I will write what I want. So, for the sake of catharsis I think I shall write about my integration.
And if anyone ever does read this and thinks to object, note that my particular integration was not notable enough that my identity could be pieced together through the details I reveal. And, furthermore, I shall keep things vague.
As for myself, I was, though I pity using the word, something of scholar, (a common trait among the coven.) I too was a teacher and though well received by my peers and students, I never had much interest in the social side. I attempted to walk the path of the relationship, so to speak, but I always found myself bored and off track. Of course, I am human and I suppose I did enjoy the sexual aspect, but the relationship always dried up, like a plant which did not receive enough water. And so I would always end up living by myself, devoting myself to research in various fields of interest.
Looking back, I believe my devotion to this research was likely a large reason for my failure as a partner and a friend, though the roots of the issue, as in most, likely ran deeper. In any case, at one point in my wandering career of research I found myself searching for conspiracies, connections, and odd coincidences in the larger world of firms, politics, and men in business suits. And though I truthfully expected the endeavor to be yet another distracting and largely meaningless rabbit hole, I did discover one conspiracy that I found particularly interesting.
I shall be vague, but the gist of the conspiracy was that of an utterly bizarre meeting and joint effort of two large companies, which I shall simply call company A, and company B. Of course, it is not unusual for two companies to work together on some business endeavor or another, but it was that nature of the endeavor, and more importantly, the relationship between the companies which made the meeting into a conspiracy.
You may envision company A and company B’s relationship as your run-of-the-mill Macy’s and Gimble’s scenario. Each produced similar products and were run by similar sorts of people, but they were fiercely competitive to the point that they had been known to defame each other’s products in advertisements. It reached the point that the world as a whole made fun it. For example, you might see a picture of two heavily muscles arms in a strained arm wrestle, one with the label of company A and the other, Company B. It is possible, that even now, my nonexistent reader, you picture the two companies in your mind, though there are many such companies out there.
Based on this information, I hope you can Imagine my shock, not to mention my interest upon learning that the two companies had pooled resources, and co-bought an enormous city building. The entire affair was done entirely in secret and my finding out was largely a process of decades worth of experience in digging around pointless and hidden crooks and crannies of the internet.
And I must be clear on one thing, the following events were not malicious, nor did they carry the intent to discover any secret deep enough and dark enough that It could blind even me.
It was simply that upon learning about this utterly inexplicable purchase, my research fuse was lit, and I would do whatever it took to find the answer.
The problem was to me that I could find absolutely no reason why either such a successful company would want to but such a place, let alone both. Examining the evidence, I discovered that neither company seemed in need of more office room for their employees and what other use could the building be for? (Especially considering office jobs at A and B require few staff members.) production then? But of course, I knew that was silly considering it was an office building. It all you drew to me, you see? The mystery of the purpose of the building, the secret purchase, the union of such two completely hateful and rival companies. It was the exact sort of enticing mystery that really drove me.
And so for weeks I would spend my off time searching media, records, articles, anything that I could find about this inexplicable purchase.
And I found nothing.
Yes, nothing.
It was truly strange. Even a mundane purchase, so long as it involves enough money and is done by large enough company, will be reported by some news station, or mentioned by someone on social media. At there very least, there will be some small trace of it lying around, like breadcrumbs pecked up by the swarming pigeons that are the internet.
I soon realized that my initial discovery of the purchase was a fluke, and a lucky one at that. Because my source had been deleted when I returned to check it. And it was at this point that I began to doubt myself. My first thought was ironically the most irrational; that my discovery of the purchase had been a dream. After all, it had been late and it was not unusual for me to fall asleep by my computer. Perhaps that transition from consciousness to unconsciousness had been clouded by the fog of memory and, in fact, my discovery of that impossible transaction had merely been a dream spawned my search of an interesting conspiracy.
And so, as the weeks passed fruitlessly by, I found myself flagging, my interest waning. I occasionally would realize that I was scrolling through articles and social media posts and not looking for information about the purchase, but about some new venture to focus on.
It would have been better if I had given up just slightly sooner, if my wandering scholarly interest had landed on a new shore, before the tempest struck.
But, in proper storybook fashion, right before I gave in, I found something. It was simply a social media post, by a person such as myself who had found out about the purchase, and wanted more information. I too had requested information on social medias but they never seemed to get much attention, as if whatever algorithm ran the media put a low priority on my posts.
It was not a comprehensive report on the suspicious and unusual transaction, complete with the names, histories, and intentions of all involved, but it served an essential purpose. It told me that what I was searching for was real.
And furthermore, it confirmed something that I had been suspecting in the back of my mind, but had not really acknowledged as possible.
You see, I was right when I said that it was odd for there to be no trace of such a large, multimillion-dollar purchase, especially given the situation. If you think of my breadcrumb analogy, where a more normal purchase would leave crumbs, such a purchase as this one would not leave crumbs, but entire slices. The internet should have leapt upon it in a feeding frenzy. And yet there was nothing. Where there should have been chunks and chunks of information and a frenzy of articles and media posts, there was nothing but a lone crumb sitting here and there, with a few straggling pigeons.
This brings to mind a very obvious and very workable analogy. If you see a mess, what do you do? You sweep it up, of course! And more and more, it seemed that something was sweeping up this mess. And the only pigeons that went after the few crumbs left, were the incredibly persistent ones like me.
And, as I am sure you wonder right now, my nonexistent reader, who would have the ability to sweep away something like this? In this age where a video of a man using a racial slur can race across the internet like an unstoppable wildfire, who could hide something so large and so successfully?
And so, I made a decision; I would go to the building myself to see what I could discover. I rarely involved myself in so-called field research, but I was so alight with interest. Oddly, the research which had yielded the fewest concrete answers had grown in me the strongest of interests.
So, I whittled away the remainder of the school year researching piddling little things of no true interest, watching the calendar for the first day summer vacation.
Summer vacation when I would have the time to take a plane ride to that mysterious building.
Eventually summer did come, though waiting had felt like an awfully long and monotonous task where I did not enjoy my research and I was filled with restless and unfulfilled energy like unreleased libido.
It took me less that three days to be on a plane and away to what I will call City C. I told the few people that new me well enough to be worried if they saw my car missing from the driveway for too long, that I was taking a trip to City C and did not know quite how long I would be gone. And then I was on a plane and on my way to see the object of my obsession.
The time between my departure and my arrival at the building was largely mundane and quite irrelevant to write about. It was just a lot of waiting in airport seats, booking hotel rooms, eating fast food, and saying, “thank you,” and, “excuse me.” That sort of thing.
Here is the important part, the part that led me to where I am today.
I pulled up the building in some rented black SUV, it was something like a Chevvy or a Subaru, though I don’t remember exactly and it does not matter, I suppose.
I got out and I just stood there for a moment and looked up at it. It was tall and made of glass and was near a parking garage. The type of building you might see in any city and that was only unique because of its address and the people who worked there, and in this case, that part most of all.
I walked through the sliding doors and saw an empty communal sort of space with a man at a desk, as you might see in any other building like it. Once again, I found myself frozen and I discovered that I was not sure what exactly to say. I had been so single mindedly focused on reaching this point, that I had not planned for such a basic detail. So, what on earth did I say?
“Sir, I have been frantically researching your building for almost half a year and have developed and intense curiosity about its purpose and the intent of those who bought it. Furthermore, I believe information about it is being covered up by hidden and powerful figures. Please tell me about this, and if you are not able to contact me with someone who can.”
I have never been particularly social. As my nonexistent reader has doubtlessly realized, I prefer solitude and research to socialization. However, that does not mean that I lack basic social instincts, and I realized that such a direct approach would be rejected, and if my luck was poor, would result in me being escorted out by security as some obsessed madman.
“Excuse me, sir.”
My thoughts were interrupted promptly though, as the man at the desk spoke. He was pale and had dark gelled hair, and his face had an appearance of scholarly genuineness, which appealed strongly to me.
“How can I help you today sir? I notice that you do not work here so you might be in the wrong building.”
The man smiled and his cheeks dimpled in an extremely charming way.
“Ah, yes, I do not work here, but I did come on purpose. Well, you see, I have somewhat of a scholarly interest in this building, and I was hoping you could answer some questions. If you don’t mind.”
This was not what I or he actually said, but it approximates my memories closely enough, as, obviously was nervous, and so I may have stuttered a bit and sounded rather foolish.
“A reporter, then? I regret to inform you that I am not permitted to speak about this facility’s private matters to anyone except those with clearance, please excuse me.
The man, whose desk had a plaque with the name, Damien Role, inscribed upon it, spoke with a professional and blandly artificial tone that was laced with the perfect amount of annoyance to made it quite clear that he was not in the mood to deal with nosey reporters. But I persisted.
“Actually, I have a personal interest in this building, and am not related to any news station. I merely stumbled upon some mentions of it on the internet and found some details about it intriguing. I am a bit of a scholar, you see, and I enjoy investigating the unexplained. I am sure that most of what I want to learn is public knowledge that is available somewhere on the internet and it would not be in violation of clearance to tell me a bit about it.”
After finishing this verbal barrage, and while feeling slightly out of breath, I realized that I had perhaps been to pushy, and quite suspicious. I felt very sure that this Damien Role knew as well as I that this information was very much, not, available publicly on the internet, and that my being here was likely a last-ditch attempt to find any scrap of information.
And yet, Damien did not immediately reject me, instead he reached under his desk, seeming to rummage around in some papers, before looking back up to me. His brown eyes gleamed under the even artificial light.
“Not a reporter, you say, and you simply have a personal interest in this information?”
“Yes,” I replied with concealed excitement.
“Well,” Damien sighed, “I suppose I can make an exception, but only if the boss allows me to, and of course, you do seem very genuine.
He smiled that dimpled smile again, and then began dialing on a black wired phone, which I had not noticed sitting on the corner of his desk.
“Hello?”
“There is a fellow here who has some questions about the facility.”
“I know sir, but he says he merely has a personal interest based on research, and he seems very genuine.”
“Sounds good, thank you sir.”
“Goodbye.”
Damien continued his charming smile, and said, “The boss will be down in a few minutes, he would like to speak with you himself. But in the meantime, I would be delighted to hear more about you.
It was at this point that I began to feel that something strange was happening; Damien agreeing so easily after our short conversation, this boss coming down for something as menial as a walk in, and some other intangible feeling like that creeping unearthly feeling you experience when someone is watching you. I did not entirely realize or recognize the feeling for what it was, and today, I deeply regret that.
And so, despite my irrational unease, I took a seat in a line of black leather chairs which lined the wall and asked, “well what do you want to know?”
So I spoke to Damien about a few meaningless details like my name, and that I was visiting from City D and the fact that I found it so hard to find details about the transaction. And then I heard the faint mechanical sound of an elevator door opening, and out walked a man. He was tall and thin, with a milky look to his skin, but he still managed to be handsome.
“You must be Mr. John Smith, (a fake name of course), my name is Geralt Fens,” the tall man said to me. And extended a hand for a shake.
The tall man’s shake was perfectly firm and his palms were neither rough from callous nor smooth from an easy life. It was, I thought, an utterly flawless handshake.
“Yes, sir,” Damien said, “Mr. Smith came here on a trip all the way from city D, and his interest is entirely from his own research. Very unique, don’t you say?”
“Very unique, Mr. Role. And you say he seems genuine, too?”
“He certainly is, sir.”
For some reason, Mr. Fens’s eyes looked predatory to me in that moment: the black pit-like eyes of a shark bearing down on a fat, unknowing trout. But then they returned to friendly professionalism in a blink.
“Well, Mr. Smith, I would like to speak with you about this in my office. It is more comfortable for me up there, and I don’t want to be away too long. You know how it is, always working.”
He laughed.
And I finally realized that I did not want to be here.
“You would not mind if took notes, would you?” I asked with all the innocence I could muster. “You see, I know it seems silly, but I have quite the vested interest in this building.”
Geralt Fens’s eyes flickered, but he answered with the same joviality.
“Why of course not, take out your notebook and take all the notes you like, I don’t mind at all.”
“Thank you so much, Mr. Fens, I will be right back. I left my notebook in the car. You see, I did not want to seem like a reporter by bringing in a notebook with me.”
I had turned around and began walking toward the sliding glass doors, when I heard the voice of Damien.
“Mr. Smith, that certainly does not seem genuine.”
I felt a horrible chill crawl up my spine, and I slowly turned around. Damien Role and Geralt Fen both seemed to hulk like dark mountains behind me.
I began to run.

Please tell me what you think.

This is just a post to say that today my eldest child (mid 30's) called me today on the occasion of the holiday. We hadn't spoken in about 6 months (they're super busy) and in the conversation DropoutTV came out. Me like, "Oh, hey, I've been watching a lot of this, have you heard of it?" and them being "Hahaha, that's just about the only streaming service I DO consume at this point."
They got to suggest to me seasons of D20 I might like that I hadn't seen, based on my history, gender stuff, etc (Unsleeping City, Fey&Flowers) and we geeked out over gender and disability representation. My children have been gamers since literally before they were born and just after it. One of their parents was a DM who used to play with them strapped onto his chest! Added bonus, they told me about the game they played with their partner after the most recent episode of FHJR, making up academic paper titles about "that moment."
This is just a note to say, call your mother, or don't, but more importantly, I feel so happy we got to spend an hour talking about the awesomeness that is Ally and my gender euphoria and BLeeM's DMing style's similarity to their parent's, and Grant O'Brien and uh, Aabria's awesomeness and well, yep. :-)
I don't enjoy parts of the day, because my mother is toxic AF so I cut her out of my life a few years ago, so today is the day I am like, "My mother sucks, waaaah," but this part was good. :-)

I'm a civil engineer who started out as a transit planner. Now I lead service development (transit network planning, infrastructure planning, urban planning related to transit, transit scheduling) for one of the largest transit systems in Canada.
This job, this field, and the stuff I get to do every day combine to make this the best job I can possibly imagine. Every day I get to be a map geek who works to make my city a better place to live.
I'm curious as to who else here works in the transit industry, what you do, and what motivates you.

Hiya, 30M from Antwerp here. Are you 25+, nice and friendly, responsible and communicative, overall a well rounded adult, but alone and looking to change that? And geeky, so you'll get along with a gaming/anime/chilling/perfectionist/programming geek like me? Great, maybe we're looking for each other. I just want someone in my life to share everything with, always brighten each other's day, mean a lot to each other.

How I'd like to spend time together

• be in touch most days to talk about all the little highlights and share pictures.
  • expect to get pictures of animals I spot on walks, beautiful scenery, events I visit, cool stuff I buy or do, etc — and send me similar ones!
• engagement: let's play a game now and then if we find any co-ops we both like (I have some with a friend pass you can use), watch each other play (some vr games are really impressive and fun), or work on a hobby while we voicechat (screenshare+webcam), discuss anything in the world, or do other things that's just the two of us. Headset required so we can both talk with our hands free to do stuff, and so we can hear each other properly, mobile calls are too restrictive.
• flirting and affection: regularly send and get selfies, say goodnight before going to sleep, call each other something cute, etc.
• attentive, 1-on-1 conversations, not only disconnected messages with unanswered questions and ghosting all the time.

You get the gist of it. Clear communication, reciprocity, serious attachment, and honesty are vital. I want to be supportive and positive to each other, make each other feel happy and loved.

Bio

I'm a 9-5 software dev consultant and put a few hours a month into a medical hobby, though I'm getting spinal surgery soon and will have to take it easy for a while. Living alone for a few years now has been great, and my job, leading a team and getting everything done right, is tiring but satisfying. My favorite media are last oldschoolish movies (just devoured Stargate Atlantis and Universe), wholesome slice of life anime (just finished Yuru Yuri, gonna start Frieren or Yuru Camp soon), non-competitive games (really wanna start Outer Wilds again, just gave G-Police another spin, maybe MGS1 again soon), and my music collection of mostly soundtracks, orchestral, and chill electronic (Sounds From The Ground plays on my drive to work). Drink a small amount (sweet liquors, cider) in the weekend, vape a little (0 nicotine) to help me sit still while watching shows.
Now that the weather's finally getting nicer and the construction in the area is done, I'm going for walks and bike rides more often, I don't even get intense hayfever anymore. Travel's not my jam, nor is anything that's loud or crowded. Love animals but have no pets either. No kids now or ever. Brown hair and eyes, light skin, average to chubby figure.
I mostly think of myself as a very reasonable person, more of a scientist than an artist, nothing extreme about me. Just trying to live a fun and relaxed life, enjoying my peace and comfort, taking pride in doing my work well. Have a few great friends rather than many vague ones, but never had any romantic attachments aside from an LDR for several years. My childhood and teenage years were an awful time, and once I started working I just never had time for anything until WfH happened and I got my own place.

Turnoffs/dealbreakers

• Invisible or 24/7 DnD status (using DnD is fine when you actually can't be disturbed)
• inattentive conversations where questions have to be repeated or sloppy writing isn't clarified
• poor internet connection, lousy headset or other difficulty voicecalling (thick accent, earbuds, ...), being limited to smartphone for all activities so you can never really do anything with me
• not wanting to play a game or watch a private stream, and not sharing other interests either
• not reading my post before messaging me :)

About you

I mostly ask that you make sure you actually want this, that you're kinda lonely and aching for someone to be close with, since I'm tired of people reeling me in but then neglecting me completely once we're talking, or never wanting to do anything. You should have a fair amount of free time in a day, so that we can have solid, fluent chats and do things together for a decent amount of time at once. Be openminded and constructive, we're looking to enjoy each other's company and sometimes we'll have to work things out. Have Discord on your phone and pc so we can keep in touch any time and place: I love to check in with each other while we're out, get updates, and not have to be unreachable to each other for the biggest part of a day.
Hope to get your message soon, send me a chat or a PM and I'll get back to you. :) Tell me about yourself and how my post speaks to you.

I've always been a big numbers guy. Some might call me a nerd, a geek or a weirdo but really I'm just a freak in the (Excel) sheets and I can't help it. If you've seen my most recent post from my profile, you will remember that I've had zero success over the past two months in finding a SB. I started tracking my most recent interactions on SA over the past month or so. Why? I don't know, I'm a psycho and I think it's fun.
Here is a link to the data: SAResearch.xlsx
I know I'll hear a lot of "these are rookie numbers" but keep in mind I have been doing this long enough that I can easily spot most fake profiles without having to message them, so those are not included in the numbers. I also don't message anyone where it is obviously a mismatch on any level based on their profile (expectations, looks, etc). So even though I've tracked only 40+ responses, I've gone through about 150 profiles in 30 days to get to these numbers. Also keep in mind that I live in Indianapolis and the SB pool here is very small.
Explanation of the columns:
Attractiveness: self-explanatory, 1-10 rating
Effort: The level of effort I put in to the initial message. Low effort is something like "Hi I like your profile, you sound nice. How are you doing today?". Medium effort I pick something from their pics or profile in the message like "Is that a spicy margarita in your hand?!! I'm in! You obviously have good taste lol. Are you still looking for a SD?". And high effort message is similar to a medium effort message but I go on to introduce myself and what I'm looking for.
Response: Did I receive any kind of response at all, yes/no
M&G: Did it lead to a meet & greet (lunch date or drinks)
% Change Fake/Scam: The chances that this account is a scam, an OnlyFans ad, a rinser, etc
Result: What was the final outcome of the interaction
As you can see, I still have had ZERO legitimate M&Gs after nearly two months of trying. I post this not necessarily to complain (but I am) but to remind SDs in certain cities it can take a very long time to find a SB. Personally, I'm about to give up haha. I gave it my best shot.
I can anticipate the question coming - you must be a real sleaze ball in your conversations, do better! But I can assure you I never bring up anything sexual until at least the second M&G. In general, I'm a decent and respectful person.

When I was in high school, somehow photography was all the rage. I think instagram was a new thing and everyone started experimenting with taking pictures. iykyk. Guys in my school would kill to get their hands on a camera since it'd help them impress the girlies.
Back then one of my friend had a guy who was interested in her and he had a camera so we planned to hang out and have him take our pics. There were 4 girls including me and he was the only guy. He wasn't a friend of mine but we all kinda knew each other. The other girls were conventionally attractive and I wasn't but at the time I didn't realize how much of a problem that would be for me.
So we (the girls) all dressed up and showed up at this location where the guy (Imma call him Daniel from now on) would be photographing us. I understand that there was only 1 of him and 4 of us so he did have the work cut out for him. At the same time, he was doing this mainly to impress my friend whom he was crushing on so clearly he would be focusing on her. However, a few hours in and he was still all over the other girls while I was left standing alone, carrying their belongings and starting to feel more and more awkward. I was clearly left out but I didn't know why. Did I say or do something to offend him?
At one point a girl friend of mine realized that and told Daniel "Hey aren't you going to take photos of Angie too?" (let's say my name's Angie). Daniel looked at me, shook his head, and walked away. Imagine the look on my face. I was dumbfounded. What would you do in that situation? My friend's response to that was "Ugh, this guy!" and ran off.
Basically that's the gist of it. You know those guys, right? The ones who would not treat you like a person because they don't find you attractive. They all have a certain vibe to them, don't they? I kinda sensed it when we first met. When I said "Hi" to him, he glanced at me with a bored look on his face, nodded his head & didn't say "Hi" back while being super friendly & smiley with the other 3 girls. Immediately I had a bad feeling about him but I convinced myself to give him the benefit of the doubt. I was hoping I was wrong, but I wasn't.
Needless to say, after that I never hung out with him ever again. Somehow even in and after college, I kept running into people who knew him or were friends with him (i guess my city's not as big as i thought) so now and again his name would come up and I noticed it's always the pretty girls that he was friends with. Hmm, i wonder why.
I thought I'd forgotten about the photographing incident already since it was such a long time ago. But i randomly had a dream about it today. It was so vivid. I was experiencing all those negative emotions I had back then again, in my dream. It was a nightmare fr.

Hey. I just turned 18 and don't know what to do in life (career wise).
I have many ambitions in life (visit the countries my family came from and become fluent in their languages, get a black belt in tae kwon do and kung fu, train myself to be ambidextrous, write a book (no intent on publishing it) and random things like that), but have no ambition to get anywhere with my career.
Previous Careers I've considered:
Growing up very young I wanted to be an author, but that dream got stomped out of me pretty quickly. I grew out of love with fiction, but still read on the regular.
After that, I wanted to be a teacher. My entire schooling career I had awful teachers and was bullied a lot, so I figured I would 'be the change I wanted to see in the world'. The thought of going back into education, yet not being able to change the system, made me ill.
I wanted to be a lawyer because I wanted to do something 'noble' and was interested in true crime, but disagreed with the morals of it.
I have considered Anaesthesiologist because of my history constantly being in and out of surgery but wasn't interested in the job itself (just the idea of it).
I was interested in astrophysics, specifically cosmology, because I have always liked space, but thought I was too stupid to interact with it. One day I thought 'screw it' and went to school for it. I hated University, so I dropped out after 2 semesters.
I've also considered being an animator or a musician, but didn't want to commodify my creative outlets, so I haven't properly considered them as careers. I also developed a music addiction and have been trying to beat it for the past 4 years, so going into the music industry probably isn't wise.
Why I dropped out of Uni:
I dropped out before I had to pay any fees, but I wasn't digging it. Sitting in front of a computer all day is awful for my mental health and it was insanely boring. I was getting near perfect grades, so that was never an issue. It's not just because I was bored, though. I like to think I am persistent and resilient when faced with discomfort.
The main reasons I quit were because job prospects weren't looking good and my professors weren't on the ball. I didn't want to pay that much when I wasn't getting anything out of it. More importantly, that was going to be a 4 year degree. I wouldn't be able to get that time back. Where I live you can't change degrees, so I had to leave altogether.
What I'm looking for in a career:

• Allows me to live rurally
  
• Not computetech based
  
• Moral
  
• Helps people but isn't people heavily social (I am introverted and get drained easily)
  
• Somewhat on the feet
  
• Good for arthritis and carpal tunnel prone people (isn't taxing on the fingers like typing is)
  

Morals:

• Cannot be working for the government/high tech environment/in finance - you get the gist
  
• I do not want to live in the city ever again
  
• I don't want to monetise my art
  
• I'm pretty 'anti' high technology/factory farms/mass development
  

Previous work experience:
I have worked in hospitality for all my job experiences. I have worked at a cafe, fine dining, and fast food in that order (both prior businesses went under).
I also have experience in hotel housekeeping.
I have completed partial certificates in hospitality and housekeeping, however my school went under for some illegal practices which meant I did not get to finish Year 12, nor these certificates. It has made getting into any tertiary education really difficult.
Current thoughts:
I am thinking of getting a diploma/BA in remedial therapy, but don't know how easy I will be able to get a job rurally.
Have also considered being a butcher but getting an apprenticeship is near impossible where I live.
I have also considered being a respiratory therapist, but I'm more into the meditative breathing exercise side of things than the administration of drugs.
Would like to get a university level degree just to say I have one, but my family is in severe debt and it isn't something I'm very excited about myself. I hate the idea of going to University as I have attempted it earlier this year and disliked it a lot (admittedly, I was studying physics and I have always hated maths).
I have also considered becoming a language or martial arts teacheinstructor, however I am not good enough to do either of these yet, and am not sure of the demand in country towns.
Finally, I could work at a supermarket or become a mixologist/work at a pub for the foreseeable future.
Skills:

• I play drums/bass
  
• I have always been 'good' at writing (or good at telling people what they want to hear)
  
• I am good at being authentic and friendly
  
• Participate in martial arts/meditation and yoga on the regular and they're all interests of mine (I'm not spiritual or religious)
  

Things I am bad at:

• I have a shit short-term memory due to a brain injury (I often ask customers to repeat orders, forget what I've just been told to do if I can't write it down)
  
• I don't talk much/keep to myself
  
• Bad with computers
  
• I'm not very good with making physical objects (eg. carpentry, leathercraft). I can follow a recipe/written instructions perfectly, however.
  

Interested in:

• Working in tangible ways
  
• Linguistics and communication
  
• Nature and conservation work
  
• Not moving up corporate ladders
  
• Seeing my impact on people
  
• Not having that impact be traced back to me
  
• Living a simple life
  

I am not very career driven, but I also feel partially guilty/peer-pressured about not having everything figured out (from my family). If you have anything to say at all, please let me know.
I have friends but they all have their lives figured out and want to move to a bigger city. It is very frustrating being the odd one out. My inability to talk to this with them has lead to me seeking respite on this sub.
Thanks in advance.

Hello,
I'm the Witty Wizard, a 36-year-old guy from Vancouver Canada who believes in cherishing life's moments and the people we share them with. I'm at a point where I feel grounded and fulfilled, both financially and emotionally, and I'm excited about the possibility of finding a meaningful connection.
Nature is where I find solace and inspiration. Whether it's biking through trails or casting a line into the water, I cherish the tranquility of the outdoors. Exploring new places is a passion of mine; there's something magical about discovering the beauty of our world, whether it's in bustling cities or remote corners.
But I also appreciate the quiet moments, like losing myself in the pages of a good book or indulging my inner geek with comic books and gaming. It's these simple pleasures that add depth and richness to life.
What I'm truly seeking is someone who shares my enthusiasm for life and is ready to build something genuine and lasting. Honesty and open communication are paramount to me, as I believe they form the foundation of any strong relationship.
If you're someone who values authenticity and is ready to explore the possibilities of a committed partnership, I would be thrilled to get to know you better. Let's embark on this journey together and see where it takes us.
Warm regards,

Hello,
I'm the Witty Wizard, a 36-year-old guy from Vancouver Canada who believes in cherishing life's moments and the people we share them with. I'm at a point where I feel grounded and fulfilled, both financially and emotionally, and I'm excited about the possibility of finding a meaningful connection.
Nature is where I find solace and inspiration. Whether it's biking through trails or casting a line into the water, I cherish the tranquility of the outdoors. Exploring new places is a passion of mine; there's something magical about discovering the beauty of our world, whether it's in bustling cities or remote corners.
But I also appreciate the quiet moments, like losing myself in the pages of a good book or indulging my inner geek with comic books and gaming. It's these simple pleasures that add depth and richness to life.
What I'm truly seeking is someone who shares my enthusiasm for life and is ready to build something genuine and lasting. Honesty and open communication are paramount to me, as I believe they form the foundation of any strong relationship.
If you're someone who values authenticity and is ready to explore the possibilities of a committed partnership, I would be thrilled to get to know you better. Let's embark on this journey together and see where it takes us.
Warm regards,
Witty Wizard

Hello,
I'm the Witty Wizard, a 36-year-old guy from Vancouver Canada who believes in cherishing life's moments and the people we share them with. I'm at a point where I feel grounded and fulfilled, both financially and emotionally, and I'm excited about the possibility of finding a meaningful connection.
Nature is where I find solace and inspiration. Whether it's biking through trails or casting a line into the water, I cherish the tranquility of the outdoors. Exploring new places is a passion of mine; there's something magical about discovering the beauty of our world, whether it's in bustling cities or remote corners.
But I also appreciate the quiet moments, like losing myself in the pages of a good book or indulging my inner geek with comic books and gaming. It's these simple pleasures that add depth and richness to life.
What I'm truly seeking is someone who shares my enthusiasm for life and is ready to build something genuine and lasting. Honesty and open communication are paramount to me, as I believe they form the foundation of any strong relationship.
If you're someone who values authenticity and is ready to explore the possibilities of a committed partnership, I would be thrilled to get to know you better. Let's embark on this journey together and see where it takes us.
Warm regards,
Witty Wizard