I'm hoping I can share my story for some support because this is really tough.
TLDR - I am struggling with the pain of losing her and would never have expected this to hit so hard. How could i possibly invest in another relationship after experiencing this grief?
For context our relationship started when we met through work, she was 18 and i was 21. My first relationship but not hers. We are now 23 / 26.
As far as relationships go it felt like it was good overall. We really enjoyed each other's company, hanging out, watching movies, going for drives and though we did not have careers early on she was really talented with art and I was interested in 3D art and game development so we meshed well.
About a year or so in she moved in with me and my best friend at the time. Her family had some abusive members and we felt it wasn't safe for her there and i had the means to make it work. It was good for a few years. We both felt very close and loved.
The first issue I ran into was that she was pretty immature at the time as were her friend group which encouraged it. For example she would go out with them and they would call me and say they can't find her etc. Etc. Queue me panicking for a bit and then she would call me back saying it was a prank. Obviously I said I won't put up with that sort of behaviour and it never happened again. I also told the friend group that it was a horrible thing to do and I guess they respected that because i never really had any more issues with them.
Life moved on and I started developing a career in warehousing and management. She started attending tafe. Then covid hit. We had moved in to an apartment closer to the city / tafe etc. Along with my best mate from the previous house.
Covid was a really rough time to be locked in a 2 bedroom apartment with the 3 of us. Her and my friend started spending a lot of time together (playing games after i went to bed or watching movies or drinking wine) and I had many a conversation trying to figure out why she was being cold and distant with me. In hindsight it seems obvious but I was not in a good headspace and refused to believe what was happening.
Then she admitted to me that they had been fooling around. When I asked how she could do this she said it was because there was stuff I was lacking in and that she had fallen out of love. She said that my friend had been pointing all these things out to her that I didn't do and that he could do for her.
Immediately I got out of there and started going to therapy. But I did not doubt that I wanted to fight to keep our relationship alive. At that stage I had known my best mate for longer then I had known my partner and I was devastated because I truly trusted both of them.
After many long conversations and therapy sessions I decided that I did not want to end our relationship there because to me this one event over the course of a life time, it wasn't worth losing that potential. I've not spoken to my "friend" since that night I found out.
It took a long time for me to move past it and my partner admittedly still struggles with guilt about it. But I felt strongly that we could make new and better memories. Which we did. We travelled together, had many valentines days, dates and whatnot.
Fast forward to now. 6 and a bit years in. Work is going good, her course is going great. I'm happy, she is happy. And then we start getting some friction. I am not receiving the affection I need to feel loved. She is getting frustrated because I / we are working towards buying a house and when she asks me to explain how mortgages work or other stuff that she hasn't had to deal with before, I get frustrated trying to explain it.
And then a couple of days ago it came to a head. I said we should go to individual therapy or couples counselling so we could get the tools to communicate better as it's always been our bane. We always communicate after its built up and never before.
She said she does not think things will change and that she doesn't have the energy to try. Since then she's been very cold. I believe she has already moved on mentally because she was working up to ending things for a good while. Probably why there was a lack of affection in hindsight.
I try to press more about why we can't make it work. She says that her friends have been pointing out stuff that their boyfriends do that I don't and that she agrees with them.
I feel so incredibly frustrated that twice now I've been judged by what others have said that I don't do. I hope that people see me as a good person. Her safety is always my first thought, I've supported her family alot. I make mistakes and I'm not perfect but I've always cared about her deeply and I try to show it through my actions.
I must be crazy because I still don't want to see her out of my life. We had discussed kids, dream houses, marriage etc. And I have no interest in anyone else.
She has all but moved on I feel, despite us being stuck in the same house for a few more months. I am just devastated. I've not felt pain like this before. I've been nauseas, completely lost my appetite, feeling very empty and sad.
To flip a switch one day and lose what I considered to be my other half, to wake up alone. I think about her all the time even if it's not reciprocated.
The pain is just incredible. Friends say it will get better and I know that is the general sentiment.
Why get invested again when it hurts this much? I could never have imagined this grief.

Bruce Banner

• No change

Doctor Strange

• Daggers of Denak (normal attack) damage slighty reduced
• Shield of the Seraphim (barrier) cooldown 1s -> 3s
• Shield of the Seraphim (barrier) no longer blocks aoe that comes from the sides/back

Groot

• Team-up ability 200 health -> 150 health

Magneto

• Metallic Curtain (barrier) cooldown 12s -> 10s
• Metal Bulwark (allied shield) - Shield now has 200 health. Duration 2s -> 3s
• Mag-Cannon damage slightly increased
• Team-up ability damage slightly reduced

Peni Parker

• No change

Loki

• Team-up ability no longer gain blue armor

Mantis

• No change

Rocket Racoon

• Repair Mode (healing ball) now resets its healing overtime effect (current: while it's healing overtime, additional shot won't retrigger a heal)

Luna Snow

• No change

The Punisher

• Adjudication (normal rifle attack) damage slightly reduced
• Deliverance (normal shotgun attack) damage reduced
• Vantage Connection (rope) cooldown 20s -> 15s
• Team-up ability faster firing buff removed

Storm

• Wind Blade no longer pierce. Instead it now bounce once to the nearest target within close range for 25% of its initial damage (Wind Blade promotes ground play to make use of its piercing ability while Storm should be all about dominating from the sky)
• Weather Control removed (since we want her in the sky, she wouldn't be close enough to provide boost for her teammates)
• Goddess Boost removed (once again a skill that promotes being in proximity which is not what you would want)
• Bolt Rush - No longer pierce and has 2 Charges. Successful hit increases the aoe of your next Thunder Strike by 10% (up to 3 times)
• New skill - Hail Storm - Summons hail at a targeted location which deals damage and slow movement speed
• New skill - Thunder Strike - Target a small area, after 2 seconds thunder strikes dealing heavy damage
• New passive - Air Domination, increase flight movement by 15%

Hela

• Nightsword Thorn (normal attack) damage reduced
• Piercing Night (multiple throwing thorns) initial damage slightly increased

Black Panther

• Vibranium Claws (normal attack) Consume 5 kinetic energy to deal extra damage
• Spinning Kick removed
• New ability - Kinetic Wave - Shoots an energy pulse at a long range dealing damage. Consume 10 kinetic energy to pierce. 6 seconds cooldown
• Panther's Cunning - Deal higher damage when at low health -> Slightly reduce damage taken and gain movement speed when below 50% health.
• New passive - Vibranium Micro-Weave Mesh - Whenever you receive damage, gain kinetic energy, up to 25
• Bast’s Descent (ultimate) Instantly gain 25 kinetic energy

Magik

• No change

Ironman

• Hyper-Velocity is now free-flight and you can now attack while active. Movement speed slightly reduced
• Micro-Missile Barrage now become homing missiles when using Hyper-Velocity, attacks the nearest enemies and deals 50% of its damage

Spider-Man

• No change

Scarlet Witch

• New ability - Chaos Adept - Consume 2 chaos energy to temporarily convert your Chaos Control (normal attack) into a long range projectile. Last 6 seconds
• Chaos Energy 4 -> 5

Star-Lord

• New passive - Supernatural Stamina - Whenever all your basic skills are on cooldown, your cooldowns recover 10% faster

Namor

• Blessing of the Deep removed (While it's a great ability to protect yourself from ultimates, it's also one that puts you in a vulnerable position which often results in your death)
• New Ability - Sea Surfing, Conjure a stream of water under your feet automatically moving forward with increased movement speed for 4 seconds. Can be cancelled. Can use Trident of Neptune (normal attack) to perform a dash attack which deal damage and knockbacks

Do you play offensively or defensively? What types of enemies do you prioritize? Do you prefer using special takedowns or relying on critical strikes? Which characters suit your play style?
My strategy:

• I'm usually on the offensive and only counter when it is necessary. I often try to beat the enemy before they finish their strike instead of countering.
  
• When there is more than one brute or armored thug, I prioritize taking them out with a special takedown and leave the last one to finish with a beatdown.
  
• I try to take out the medics quickly to keep them from reviving the other thugs.
  
• I usually avoid the ninjas and blade attacks and wait until my combo meter is full and take them out with a special takedown or beatdown.
  
• I try to use the disarm and destroy to destroy weapons early on so I can heave easier time with the remaining thugs.
  
• I often use moves with slow animations such as the aerial attack and special takedown to survey the area and pick the next target.
  
• In Arkham City and Arkham Origins, I prefer to build up the combo with critical strikes until reaching the free flow focus which slows down time. In Arkham Knight, I prefer using a variety of special takedowns each time the combo meter is full.
  
• Due to my play style, I prefer to use Batman, Batgirl, and Catwoman. With Batman, the emphasis is on the variety of moves and takedowns. With Catwoman, the emphasis is on speed. And Batgirl is a nice middle ground between the two.
  

A player asked me a good question and I couldn't find discussion of it anywhere, so I thought I'd bring it up here.
There are a number of spells - crown of madness, hold person, charm person, etc. - that only work on humanoids. Most of the time, it's straightforward to tell that something is a humanoid (2 arms, 2 legs)...but not always. Satyr and Changelings, for example, both look humanoid but are fey; Succubi/Incubi have human-like 2 arms 2-legs but are fiends, etc.
The question the player asked was whether, when encountering a creature they haven't seen before, they'd have to make a check to know if it was humanoid and would therefore be affected by their spells, if so, what kind of action that check would be, and whether the spell would just fail if cast on a non-humanoid, wasting the slot.
It's interesting that he asks, because this is definitely going to come up in a few sessions.
One inclination I had is to rule it as a DC 10 passive arcana/nature/history check to know (which this character will pass every time). But I don't love that because in theory, it becomes a kind of "fey detector" that would, for example, reveal that a changeling was a changeling for free. But I also think it's a kind of a dick move to make him waste a spell slot casting hold person on a fey and having it fail.
I know it's a fiddly little question, but just interested to know what people think.

I'm looking for some advice on how to get into a shelter.
I'm working, collecting money, I just had to leave the room I was renting for safety reasons. I have no record of being at this place, and I have no information on the address or memory of it.
I called 211 and I was eventually directed to a person who referred me 2 phone numbers, 1 was domestic violence shelter in the state of Maine, [a state I've never even visited] and the other was some solicitation type, selling medical alert devices for older people.
I called again and they were even less helpful the second time around.
Last night, I thought I saw on Google, an intake shelter, but the entire building looked like it a waiting for demolition. Ended up renting a hotel for the night to charge my devices, and I rest up.
I get on search for my needed information my own way. I found the phone number to the place I thought I was gonna see last night. So they tell me they moved.
Like I said, I'm working and soon to see a paycheck from them. Until then I'm collecting unemployment because the job I had before was reducing my hours and eventually just left me off the schedule. So I left that company, and within the same week, joined another one.
In any case, because of how my money's gonna work, I should be out of the shelter in 2 months

My confidence is shattered. I feel like a bum. I haven’t bought myself anything in over a year because I thought “50£ for clothes is expensive” while proceeding to dump thousands in casinos and losing every cent. I work day and night but have nothing to show for it. My girlfriend is helping me as much as she can with just lending me 10£ for food now and then so I don’t starve and I’m so grateful to have her but I am at the complete bottom. Never am I touching this stuff again and I wish I realised this way earlier.
Waking up every day knowing you can’t buy anything, you can’t do anything fun, you feel like a loser because you don’t have any money, even thought the reason you don’t have money isn’t because you’re lazy; it’s because you have an illness. It’s so hard. No one really and truly understands it. 10 minutes on a website costs you months of working to earn it back.
I’m fighting every day but relapse after relapse and I need to break the cycle. I wanna be a decent man that can earn his living and keep it. I wanna be able to look at myself in the mirror and be proud. Every time I don’t have money or any thing I just try to remember that it’s not all my fault. It’s an illness. Keep fighting.
The worst of it is as well; advertisements for gambling are everywhere. How is that legal? I mean you are advertising for people to ruin their lives. Unbelievable.

Hey, Im Daniel and im 22. September 2023 i was 120kg(264 pounds), And this is the story of how i went from 120kg(39.6% bf) to 76kg(19.8% bf) in only 4 months.
My routine used to be, wake up, gaming for 18h straight, 2L Coca Cola and eating shit everyday, till i saw a Brazillian guy on youtube, his youtube channel is called "Space Today", And he started a project with some other professional bodybuilder youtubers, he started at 180kg and i was like "huh, if he can do it, why wouldn't i be able to? he's starting line is way above mine." so i went to my local gym, took some nutricionism advices online for better understanding of food, and used some apps like Myfitnesspal or Fatsecret, to know how many calories each food had, bought a scale to weight my food 1 by 1 and did everything perfectly. I used to workout like a madman, my new routine was, wake up at 7 a.m, fasting, go to gym and do cardio, and then muscle training, I was eating 1300 calories a day and my total expenditure was like 3000/3400, that in the beggining.
A few months go by, and i started to get heated up on things, started working out 2 times a day, 1h 30m cardio in the morning, 1h 30m muscle workout at noon, every single day, i was greedy, i wanted it, i trained like it was my last day on earth, heavy training at that, 20km running every day, 140kg squat, 400kg leg press, 100kg bench, i was pretty satisfied with my numbers with only 3 to 4 months of training. One day i looked at the mirror and i could the infamous 6 pack starting to get form, imagine, took me 21 years to get 120kg and only 4 months to get lean, pretty good huh? So, i kept increasing weights, at this point (by my 3rd month) i was eating 1800kcal already cuz i thought i was spending way too much and giving in way too little, but i didnt wanted to exagerate. It reached a point i was training 6 days a week, and only sunday off because the gym was closed on that day, so i would go in the park near my house and start running.
By the end of January, i was running my usual 20 to 25km daily, when i suddenly felt something wrong, it wasnt just muscle pain on my legs that i felt, i stopped the treadmill and looked down confused, it was hurting like hell but i didnt care, just felt like it was a bad day and went home, prepared for afternoon workout and went to the gym, walking with a lot of pain but i couldnt afford to care. Kept doing my workout as usual day by day but with a lot of pain, till one day i was in the treadmill, and i had to stop by the kilometer 2 or 3 because of extreme pain, i couldnt run anymore, so i kept walking on the treadmill, like i said before, i didnt care at all about pain, people used to look at me, i was smiling while running and at the same time looking like i was about to just drop on the floor dying, you dont know the feeling of being depleted of energy but keep going at it till you try it... But in this day in specific it was different, i couldnt run anymore, nor walk, nor nothing, i seated in the treadmill and when i tried to get back up i couldnt, it was pain in the lowerback(lumbar) radiating to the legs, i felt that everyday specially on leg days, but never at this level of pain, this time i couldnt get up at all, so my friend called the PT'S and they decided to call an ambulance. i did a TAC analysis in the hospital, and they discovered degenerative herniated disk and several damaged sciatic nerves. I'm that type of guy that doesnt cry for anything, but I started crying when they told me i couldnt work out anymore and that i would need a cirurgy to replace the damaged disks...
You dont know what it is until it happens to you... Its so frustrating, in the start, you do it because you need to do it in order to lose fat, but when you start to see progress, you start to have fun with it, it stops being an obligation and starts being a fun hobby. They use to say that "in your highest times is when the devil comes for you", and i felt exactly that, in a moment, i was happy for the first time in life with my self and my body, and 1 minute later i had nothing.
Sorry for the big text, all this to say, its not worth it guys, take it slow, do a diet where you do a decent deficit, cutting 500kcal is okay, its not worth it going under 2000kcal, you dont need to cut half your calories, your body needs nutrients in order to function properly, Think of your body like a car, it needs gasoline to keep going, but it also needs oil, and manuntention, etc. I felt a lot of times out of strenght, i just kept going because in my mind was some David Goggins type of shit, "Do or die", "Imagine if this weight was a car and your mom's below it, push it or she'll get crushed" type of mentality you know? But what for? The best advice i can give you is, loosing weight is extremely easy, like i said, 21 years to get to 120 and 4 months to get back to 76, and if i had done it safely, probably could've achieved close to that number, like 85 or 80, with an even better physique, cuz will all this cardio training i lost tons of muscle mass. Remember, your body needs to rest, its not a machine, the world wont end tomorrow, you have plenty of time no matter your age, forget about being meso, meta or endomorph, everyone can do it, just change your habits little by little, and when it comes to food you dont need to change it at all, just control your portions, inform yourself with useful data. There are a lot of fake influencers but, also good ones like Dr.Mike or Paul Revelia or Lee Lem, they give plenty of healthy advices for free on how to achieve your ideal body % and realistic time to get it.
Thank you for having patience to read through all this. If i could go back in time, i would've done everything differently, being greedy was my biggest mistake, but if you are fat right now, i know you understand what were my thoughts, i just wanted to get rid of all that fat. In the end, it wasn't worth it guys. Stay safe!

So I know this will be pretty long but I think some context is needed We where both our first serious relationship and our first sexual partners. We both study medicine and had an extremely stable relationship, barely any fights, and where both happy and satisfied (or so I thought). A year ago she once mentioned before a trip i was going to have that if I found someone I could get with them since it was an opportunity out of nowhere. That lead to a serious discussion where in summary I said that I would never want and open relationship and that if she needed that we had to go our separate ways. She apologized for jeopardizing the relationship and we carried on as normal.
During our studies we have to go to a small rural town for 6 weeks where we work in a rural hospital in various services. Those rural practices have kind of a reputation for being very dangerous for relationships and the Doctors over there for being all over the students that arrive. A lot of stories of them having sex with the new female students and stuff. Its very common
So my girlfriend went to have her practice and the first 2 weeks where fine, we saw each other every weekend and it was as good as it has always been. She then said that she went to have dinner with the hospital doctors but that she stayed longer with one of them until very late in the night talking with him. She told me she knew that looked very badly and she knew the stories and she was a little ashamed about it but thought she did nothing wrong since they just talked. I agreed and said she didnt cross any lines but that it indeed looked wrong and she shouldnt have done that. She then said that he invited her to jog the two of them alone the other day and that she accepted. I told her if she knew the stories and the stigma that those student-doctor relationship have why would you carry on like this. She said she wanted someone to just hang out and that if he showed interest in her it would make things uncomfortable and she would not lead him on and she would have her guard up
The next day she tells me they didnt jog because it rained. I told her that i really didnt like that she was playing with fire. She told me I was right and that she reconsidered since thinking about it a bit more she found the Doctor attractive and it would be dangerous to carry on. She said his intentions where still not clear but she would be flattered and feel good if he did try to make a move on her
Since all of this was happening I brought up what we talked about before about the open relationship. She had some time to think and when we talked again se said that it was something that interested her, that she would like to try it someday, that she tought it was something that could work. I said very clearly that I would NEVER agree to that. So she said it was fine and that she would never ask me to open the relationship and that it was just a fantasy she had in her mind
Cut to 4 days later when we see each other again. She says we need to talk. She told me that the Doctor was now really hitting on her and was clear that he wanted to have sex with her and that she also really wanted to sleep with him. She said the rural practice was the perfect oportunity to try something else and to sleep with someone else. She said she wanted to explore that part of her and the Doctor was the perfect chance to do so. She was attracted to him (she said it wasnt a big deal, she just found him kind of attractive) and that, well, its very rare for her to recive the attention of another man so she wanted to explore new things. I said that I thought she was crossing a line, that she constantly moved boundaries and that my mindset was clear and I would never agree but your desire was so strong that you felt the need to ask again. She said okay so we can continue the relationship as normal and I would respect it and not keep going with the Doctor, she said she loved me and was happy with us.
The next day we again talked and she again expressed how much se wanted to fuck him and how important it was and that she didnt know when she would have another chance to fuck someone else
Later that day I went to her house and finished the relationship. She was absolutely furious, said I ended thing over a stupid matter, that I didnt fought for the relationship, that I coulndt handle her having the hots for another man, that she was willing to fight and not be with the doctor and try to carry on as normal. Basically said I was an asshole and gave up on us for a little matter
Im so sorry for this being so damn long but I thought context was needed

I almost titled the post "psychiatrist keeps wanting to put me on medication I don't want to take," but I imagine we have all been there at one point!
I guess I am struggling because she has suggested I take antipsychotics on three different occasions, and while I know they work great for some people, I'm just not sure they are the right medication for me. I have not experienced great effects when I have given them a shot.
I have told her my concerns and explained my hesitations, but she still seems adamant about adding an antipsychotic to the mix. Her primary reason is that I had a fairly bad hypomanic episode earlier this year and she feels it will help to level me out. However, I don't necessarily feel like I am being heard anymore during our sessions. Initially, she was great, but the last several times, she has been a little pushy. Plus, psychiatry visits can be expensive and due to the trial and error antipsychotic issue, I've had to see her a number of times this year. This last visit I was hoping she could help me with some anxiety that has been getting worse, but her suggestion again was an anti-psychotic.
Ultimately, I'm thinking I might be better off looking for a new provider or just going back to my PCP who can prescribe me my regular medication without the hassle. I guess I am just concerned about the anxiety piece.
This turned out to be more of a vent-type post, but I am also looking for advice or guidance from people who have been in a similar situation.
Thank you in advance and I hope everyone has a good day/night.

Scott Cawthon, a name that has become synonymous with innovative horror gaming, is the mastermind behind the wildly successful "Five Nights at Freddy's" (FNaF) franchise. His journey from an independent developer to a celebrated figure in the gaming world is a testament to his creativity, perseverance, and profound impact on the genre. Cawthon's work not only redefined horror games but also inspired a generation of gamers and creators. This essay explores why Scott Cawthon is so remarkable for his contributions to the gaming industry.

A Humble Beginning

Before achieving fame with FNaF, Scott Cawthon's career was marked by a series of lesser-known projects. He created numerous games, many of which struggled to find a wide audience. Titles like "Chipper & Sons Lumber Co." showcased his ability to develop engaging gameplay, but they did not receive significant attention. Despite facing setbacks and criticism, Cawthon remained undeterred, continuously honing his craft and pushing the boundaries of his creativity.

The Birth of a Phenomenon

The turning point in Cawthon's career came in 2014 with the release of "Five Nights at Freddy's." This game was unlike anything the gaming world had seen before. Set in a fictional pizzeria, players took on the role of a night security guard who must survive against haunted animatronics. The game's unique mechanics, where players must manage limited resources to fend off terrifying enemies, introduced a new kind of psychological horror that captivated players.
"Five Nights at Freddy's" was an instant hit, praised for its simplicity, atmosphere, and deep lore. The game's success can be attributed to Cawthon's innovative use of jump scares, tension-building mechanics, and a compelling narrative that kept players coming back for more. The minimalist approach, combined with an eerie ambiance, created an immersive experience that left a lasting impression on players.

Expanding the Universe

Cawthon's ability to expand the FNaF universe is another testament to his genius. Rather than resting on his laurels, he continually developed sequels that built upon the original game's lore and mechanics. Each new installment added layers of complexity and depth, weaving an intricate narrative that spanned multiple games. This storytelling approach fostered a dedicated community of fans who eagerly deciphered the mysteries and theories surrounding the series.
In addition to the main games, Cawthon ventured into other media, including books and planned movies. The "Fazbear Frights" book series and graphic novels expanded the FNaF lore, providing fans with more content and deeper insights into the story's universe. This multi-platform approach demonstrated Cawthon's versatility and commitment to providing a rich, immersive experience for his audience.

Inspiring a Community

One of the most remarkable aspects of Scott Cawthon's legacy is the community he has cultivated. The FNaF series has inspired countless fan theories, artworks, and even fan-made games. Platforms like YouTube saw an explosion of content from creators analyzing and playing the games, further boosting their popularity. Cawthon's engagement with his fanbase, often teasing new projects and acknowledging fan contributions, has fostered a loyal and enthusiastic community.
Moreover, Cawthon's journey from an independent developer to a renowned figure serves as an inspiration to aspiring game developers. His story underscores the importance of perseverance, creativity, and the willingness to learn from failure. By sharing his experiences and remaining humble despite his success, Cawthon has become a role model for many in the gaming industry.

A Lasting Impact

Scott Cawthon's impact on the horror genre and the gaming industry at large cannot be overstated. He revolutionized how horror games are designed, shifting the focus from gratuitous violence to psychological tension and atmospheric storytelling. The success of FNaF paved the way for other indie horror games, proving that small developers could create impactful and commercially successful titles.
In conclusion, Scott Cawthon's contributions to the gaming world are nothing short of extraordinary. His innovative approach to horror, dedication to expanding the FNaF universe, and ability to inspire a global community of fans and creators highlight his brilliance. Cawthon's legacy will undoubtedly continue to influence the gaming industry for years to come, solidifying his place as a pioneering figure in the world of game development. Do you agree?

How likely for her to succeed in her demands? Son's mother relocated >50 miles away. Wants to change school district and reduce my physical custody from 50% to something less, weekends holidays and summer for 6 year old son in kindergarten special ed. She also wants to force me to pay for 'best interest evaluation' by quack psychologist. I looked up this psychologist and he has had public reprimanded by his licensing board for past expert testimony for his biased testimony. Also has numerous reviews warning of his shady practice. Apparently a part of his evaluation is includes your sexual practices.
After years of fighting and $40K in legal fees on my side (in addition to her side), I was able to get her to agree to to equal shared custody. This was from her initial demands for sole custody. She demanded to remove conditions regarding geographic limitations but assured me that she wasn't planning on moving, but didn't know what the future holds. Immediately after she announced her plans to move in the future and advised me I couldn't stop her.
I talked to my lawyer but we didn't do anything at the time because she hadn't done anything yet. Fast forward a few years later and she moved in with her boyfriend. She is demanding to change his school district.
My school district is superior ratings. My 6 year old son is in kindergarten and is in special ed for disabled children and receives speech therapy. He has been in the school district since 2020 for pre school receiving free services for his delays. He also was simultaneously in goddard school daycare and private school full time until kindergarten since 2019.
She attempted to remove him from public school and special ed until court decision regarding move and put him into goddard private kindergarten. I refused because that made no sense.
She has a court motion making all kinds of accusations. One is my refusal to communicate, work with, and pay her expert witness and demanding to compel me to pay for a 'best interest' evaluation with a quack psychologist. As mentioned above he has been reprimanded for his biased expert testimony
Can she actually successfully have the court force me to pay for this 'best interest' evaluation from a quack after having half custody for my son for closing in on 4 years now?

Saint Pachomius the Great was both a model of desert dwelling, and with Saints Anthony the Great (January 17), Macarius the Great (January 19), and Euthymius the Great (January 20), a founder of the cenobitic monastic life in Egypt.
Saint Pachomius was born in the third century in the Thebaid (Upper Egypt). His parents were pagans who gave him an excellent secular education. From his youth he had a good character, and he was prudent and sensible.
When Pachomius reached the age of twenty, he was called up to serve in the army of the emperor Constantine (apparently, in the year 315). They put the new conscripts in a city prison guarded by soldiers. The local Christians fed the soldiers and took care of them.
When the young man learned that these people acted this way because of their love for God, fulfilling His commandment to love their neighbor, this made a deep impression upon his pure soul. Pachomius vowed to become a Christian. Pachomius returned from the army after the victory, received holy Baptism, moved to the lonely settlement of Shenesit, and began to lead a strict ascetic life. Realizing the need for spiritual guidance, he turned to the desert-dweller Palamon. He was accepted by the Elder, and he began to follow the example of his instructor in monastic struggles.
Once, after ten years of asceticism, Saint Pachomius made his way through the desert, and halted at the ruins of the former village of Tabennisi. Here he heard a Voice ordering him to start a monastery at this place. Pachomius told the Elder Palamon of this, and they both regarded the words as a command from God.
They went to Tabennisi and built a small monastic cell. The holy Elder Palamon blessed the foundations of the monastery and predicted its future glory. But soon Palamon departed to the Lord. An angel of God then appeared to Saint Pachomius in the form of a schemamonk and gave him a Rule of monastic life. Soon his older brother John came and settled there with him.
Saint Pachomius endured many temptations and assaults from the Enemy of the race of man, but he resisted all temptations by his prayer and endurance.
Gradually, followers began to gather around Saint Pachomius. Their teacher impressed everyone by his love for work, which enabled him to accomplish all kinds of monastic tasks. He cultivated a garden, he conversed with those seeking guidance, and he tended to the sick.
Saint Pachomius introduced a monastic Rule of cenobitic life, giving everyone the same food and attire. The monks of the monastery fulfilled the obediences assigned them for the common good of the monastery. Among the various obediences was copying books. The monks were not allowed to possess their own money nor to accept anything from their relatives. Saint Pachomius considered that an obedience fulfilled with zeal was greater than fasting or prayer. He also demanded from the monks an exact observance of the monastic Rule, and he chastized slackers.
His sister Maria came to see Saint Pachomius, but the strict ascetic refused to see her. Through the gate keeper, he blessed her to enter upon the path of monastic life, promising his help with this. Maria wept, but did as her brother had ordered. The Tabennisi monks built her a hut on the opposite side of the River Nile. Nuns also began to gather around Maria. Soon a women’s monastery was formed with a strict monastic Rule provided by Saint Pachomius.
The number of monks at the monastery grew quickly, and it became necessary to build seven more monasteries in the vicinity. The number of monks reached 7,000, all under the guidance of Saint Pachomius, who visited all the monasteries and administered them. At the same time Saint Pachomius remained a deeply humble monk, who was always ready to comply with and accept the words of each brother.
Severe and strict towards himself, Saint Pachomius had great kindness and condescension toward the deficiencies of spiritually immature monks. One of the monks was eager for martyrdom, but Saint Pachomius turned him from this desire and instructed him to fulfill his monastic obedience, taming his pride, and training him in humility.
Once, a monk did not heed his advice and left the monastery. He was set upon by brigands, who threatened him with death and forced him to offer sacrifice to the pagan gods. Filled with despair, the monk returned to the monastery. Saint Pachomius ordered him to pray intensely night and day, keep a strict fast and live in complete solitude. The monk followed his advice, and this saved his soul from despair.
The saint taught his spiritual children to avoid judging others, and he himself feared to judge anyone even in thought.
Saint Pachomius cared for the sick monks with special love. He visited them, he cheered the disheartened, he urged them to be thankful to God, and put their hope in His holy will. He relaxed the fasting rule for the sick, if this would help them recover their health. Once, in the saint’s absence, the cook did not prepare any cooked food for the monks, assuming that the brethren loved to fast. Instead of fulfilling his obedience, the cook plaited 500 mats, something which Saint Pachomius had not told him to do. In punishment for his disobedience, all the mats prepared by the cook were burned.
Saint Pachomius always taught the monks to rely only upon God’s help and mercy. It happened that there was a shortage of grain at the monastery. The saint spent the whole night in prayer, and in the morning a large quantity of bread was sent to the monastery from the city, at no charge. The Lord granted Saint Pachomius the gift of wonderworking and healing the sick.
The Lord revealed to him the future of monasticism. The saint learned that future monks would not have such zeal in their struggles as the first generation had, and they would not have experienced guides. Prostrating himself upon the ground, Saint Pachomius wept bitterly, calling out to the Lord and imploring mercy for them. He heard a Voice answer, “Pachomius, be mindful of the mercy of God. The monks of the future shall receive a reward, since they too shall have occasion to suffer the life burdensome for the monk.”
Toward the end of his life Saint Pachomius fell ill from a pestilence that afflicted the region. His closest disciple, Saint Theodore (May 17), tended to him with filial love. Saint Pachomius died around the year 348 at the age of fifty-three, and was buried on a hill near the monastery.
Source

I made another post recently about my loss of libido that I deleted. All makes sense now.
I feel so apathetic currently.
I’ve been crying a lot the past couple weeks and have definitely been stressed out.
I’m still sober though and have no real desire to drink or whatever else. So that’s fine.
It honestly did not occur to me that I could be depressed again until last night. Last night, while I was upset about other things that I did not want to talk about, my Mom started to complain about my mood and attribute it to me just being entitled and not wanting to do some chores. Which wasn’t the case; I honestly could have given less of a shit about my chores and doing them was in the plan. At the moment she was complaining and saying she’s sick of my mood, I was actively writing an email to the clinic manager at my job to seek help about some workplace bullying from a supervisor.
I guess I snapped because I began to yell at her saying that the chores aren’t the reason I’m upset and that I’m trying to deal with something at work. I ended up slamming the fridge door causing a shelf to fall out. My Mom matched my hostile energy almost immediately and just told me to never yell at her. This encounter lasted maybe 2 minutes.
I fixed the fridge but just decided I did not want to be awake anymore for the day so I went to bed at 8, laying awake until about 10 PM (because I’d taken a nap previously that day).
I don’t think I’d attempt my life again. Recently I’ve begun to become panicked when thoughts of a specific suicide attempt has come to my mind to the point that one night last week I was repeating over and over “I am safe” to try and stave off what felt like a panic attack. But suicidal thoughts have definitely crept up. My physical safety is not in danger though, so that’s not a concern.
I am not able to get a therapist specialized in mental health until the new year so I just have to tough it out until then.
I’m probably going to be talked to at work about what I sent the clinic manager last night and at this point I have no desire to. I was so escalated when I hit send on that message. I demanded my supervisor fix her behavior or that I be transferred to a different location as soon as it’s possible.
I just don’t even care anymore. Clearly my mental health is the biggest problem and I’m just pointing fingers trying to fix it. Her being nicer to me won’t fix anything, but admittedly, it would make things a bit better.
My job is essentially the only thing I really like right now that takes me out of my concerns. I love my job, and my supervisor is helping make my job less of a debrief from my worries and adding new ones.
I don’t feel passionate about my job today. I don’t really want to do anything right now.
But I am going to force myself to go to the gym today and self care things. I’ll get through it.

From yesterday: Hamdan bin Mohammed approves Dubai Quality of Life Strategy 2033 featuring more than 200 projects and initiatives
Excerpts:

• "More than 115 km of pedestrian and cycling tracks will be constructed, more than 3,000 trees and plants will be planted, and more than 20 investment opportunities will be created during Phase 1 of the strategy for the residents of Al Khawaneej 2 and Al Barsha 2."
• "More than 30 parks with the new designs will be developed across the emirate within three years."
• "the Dubai Quality of Life Strategy is set for implementation in three phases from 2024 to 2033"
• "Key components include 376 stations and sites dedicated to monitoring aquatic environments and air pollutants, and the world’s largest waste-to-energy conversion project, whose first phase has already been completed. The strategy seeks to provide eight natural wildlife reserves spanning an area of 1,266 square kilometres, and marine reserves covering 32 square kilometres."
• "Key targets include a 300% increase in public services provision by 2025, ensuring 100% accessibility for people of determination and senior citizens, expanding cycling tracks on beaches by 300%, extending the length of night swimming beaches by 60%, and designating new beaches exclusively for women."
• "Greenery is one of the main elements supporting the strategy, with a portfolio of projects aimed at increasing the total green area in the emirate through the implementation of several major initiatives by 2033. This includes expanding the area of public parks from 23 to 64 square km (a 180% increase) and developing over 200 parks and squares in different areas across the emirate."
• "By 2033, the strategy aims to convert 25% of all trips in the city to self-driving travel and achieve 45% transportation through sustainable means, while also transforming Dubai into a pedestrian-friendly city."
• "It aims to double the length of cycling lanes from 544 km to 1,150 km, increase bus routes by 117% from 4,008 to 8,722 km, and expand the railway network from 100 to 159 km."

Will this be more than just a press release? "Transforming Dubai into a pedestrian-friendly city" by 2033 is extremely ambitious.
Also, did they publish a map of the future cycling lanes and railway network extension?

Soap and Thread
By Slant Whelms
I’ve never known how to start a story, and I can’t think of a single ending that I’ve ever written that’s worth a damn. Truthfully I’m not much of a writer, but I’m a decent storyteller otherwise. The act of writing for someone like myself, who has a very short attention span and possibly some undiagnosed learning disability, is always a satisfying thought that I never fully pay off. Even this thing I’m writing about now, It lilely won’t see its end.
Choosing your words when describing something like this is very important and I’ve looked into certain words; hoping that I don’t misrepresent my observations as something more or something sinister. The truth is that right now I’m not sure what’s going on.
To be completely transparent, I’m not certain that ANYTHING is going on, and this all might be in my head. If that is the case I don’t know whether to be more or less concerned.
If this is just some hallucination then that means I’m going crazy. If I’m going crazy then I’m likely dangerous; if not to myself then to my wife atleast… or my kid. I just don’t know, but I know that no one else can see it. Which makes sense in an odd sort of way, because I mean how often do you really pay attention. You don’t even notice your own, but I did.
Allow me to start over with the basic information. My name is Slant, and I know that is a very odd name. I don’t have much explanation for it, other than my Fathers name was Mount. As an old Italian man who had a fondness for names as odd as his, he saw fit to saddle me with this one. He passed when I was young, being quite an old man himself when I was born. I never got any good answers on that, and my mother was at best not a present figure in my upbringing, despite being there the entire time.
I was born and grew up in eastern Kentucky, nestled deep in the Appalachian mountains. Words like redneck and hillbilly don’t really capture the truth of living here. The people here are different, and I can’t entirely explain that. I can say that things move a lot slower out here, and people here take the time to look at the world. We notice more, but we want to miss just as much.
Pike county Kentucky is a place that is, much like the rest of the nation, is entwined with the demon of drug use. We Waltz with that devil daily here, and we know how to dip. Pills and Meth, weed and cocaine…which horse pulls your carriage?
For me it was always weed, and I’ve never done anything stronger intentionally. There was one mix up with some Tylenol 3 and a headache, but my mother messed that one up. And my weed usage has never been an issue. I’m 30 now and have been an avid smoker for five years, give or take.
We all have something we want to escape from, whether real or imagined. For most, this place is like a prison. We are poverty locked into our existences, where the biggest thing we have in town is the gas station, and Walmart is over an hour away. There’s no opportunity, no ladder out of the filth, just the drugs. They’re cheap, plentiful, and welcoming.
I say all of this to say that none of these drugs have been in my system, and I haven’t even had weed in a month. It was April 15th when my wife kissed me before leaving for work. I’m out of work right now, having left my last job a couple months ago due to difference of opinion and irreconcilable differences.
It was I who got our daughter out of bed, changed her clothes, and got her off to school. She’s six now, and is about the cutest thing in the world. I walked her out to her school bus and waved her goodbye as the bus backed out of the driveway. I live at the end of a very long, narrow road called a hollow. Here we call em hollers.
Im going to start typing more like I speak, and less like I took care to write something more generic and understandable. Our accent, our style is like “trash country”. We shorten and join words to get to the point faster. You’ll understand as I go on.
Anyway, I settled down and cut on the Xbox, loaded up hell let loose, and got out the flamethrower. Plan was simple, play a few games then clean the house. I make a terrific house husband with my cleaning work ethic. I can clean the slick off of ice if I try hard enough. Only problem is again, my attention span. Usually a little hit off the ole bong will fix that issue, then I’m a regular Cinderella before that fairy fucked it all up.
I never made it to the cleaning, never made it to the weed. I got up after paying and went to look out the window. We got these big ole blackout curtains and they keep the natural light out pretty good. I threw the curtains open and my eyes locked onto the trash cans, it was trash day.
I tied up the bag that was in the can and grabbed the other one off the porch. It was a warm morning for April and the sun was already shining. Not sure what time it was, didn’t really pay much attention. What I did pay attention to was the steps leading down the porch.
There was this big orange cat sitting on them, just sleeping. He didn’t wake up and run when I walked out and grabbed the other bag; instead now he is just staring at my feet , refusing to move. I stood there just looking at this odd cat I ain’t never seen before. He sat there looking back.
I decided to just skip that step and step over him, but he darted through the steps and ran under the porch before I could move. Odd. Anyway I took out the trash and turned to head back up the gravel driveway back to my double wide home. The sun was now behind me, casting a long shadow that touched my porch. The peak of the crown of my shadows head fell just short of the cat that was now sitting under the porch.
It wasn’t resting, rather he looked on high alert, staring straight at me. I raised my hand up to my eyes to cut the brightness from the glare on essentially everything. That’s when it happened. Now I don’t know how to explain this but what I didn’t was put my hand up to my eyes to block the sun, almost like a sure. What my shadow did was reach up and grasp the cat. You never expect to see or notice something like that, and I stood there and stared at it for maybe a minute before my mind connected what exactly was wrong.
It moved as I did, in a speed that was the same as my arm, but it just didn’t do what I did. I don’t know why something so small stopped me in my tracks like that. I started thinking it could be like a glare off of some glass somewhere that was stretching my arm out. Then it moved again.
The shadows other arm raised as I stared, dumbfounded. The left arm homed in on the right, gracefully snaking towards the cat. Both hands circled the feline, as if they were real, physical appendages. Then they clapped, hard, sandwiching the cat in the middle. The cat silently darted off and behind the house.
I’m still standing there staring, when I’m shaken back to reality. I must have been standing there for more than a moment, looking weird like I’m high off my ass. I looked down, my shadow wasn’t long, wasn’t moving unless I moved. This shadow was my height, maybe a touch taller, and both at dark as it had been.
I went back in the house and sat down in my recliner, taking up my phone to look for some kind of answers. A quick google search revealed fuck all, and my deepest dives on Reddit and Twitter, only led me to Peter Pan fan fiction. Those people are……devoted, but nothing like what I encountered. Honestly I didn’t know what to search.
My day went on as normal, albeit a little frazzled. Maybe I suggested it to myself and didn’t realize that my arm was moving. Perhaps I got something laced weed, that’s not a stretch. Didn’t even mention it to the wife, don’t need her worrying about me or taking my weed. My daughter came home and we played a little before bed, standard evening.
Next morning I woke up with my wife. She got ready for work and I got our daughter ready for school. The bus showed up the same time my wife left for work so she walked my daughter out.
About five seconds later, I heard my daughter and wife both scream, one of them yelling “what the fuck!”. I hopped up from my chair and stuck my head out the door, shirtless and shoeless. (Not a good look for the school bus).
In the steps, exactly where it had been sitting yesterday, was the body of a large, orange cat. It lay there with both eyes popped out of its head. Body crushed flat, longs and who knows what shooting out of its mouth. More shooting out from the other side. I froze, staring with my mouth agape. My wife looked only at me, covering my daughter's eyes.
Maybe ten seconds later, I realize she’s yelling at me, and I don’t know what to do. I grab a hoodie from inside, and some crocs that weren’t mine at all. I move the poor cat, and send my daughter off to school. My wife had told her that the cat wasn’t a real one, and someone had done that with a toy cat. It seems like a stretch, but she seems to buy it I guess you don’t want to believe it’s real when you’re young.
My wife is horrified, and so am I, but for a different reason. What the hell is going on? Is this some kind of prank? My wife goes to work, and I call the cops. If someone did this, if this is some plot to fuck with me, they certainly got creative. But why, and fucking how?
The police showed up, but I knew when I heard the dispatcher's voice that this wasn’t going to be taken seriously. Understandable, considering what’s the big deal with a dead cat on someone’s steps? Well, I would say that a crushed cat is odd, but that’s likely because I saw that weird shadow thing happen. They seem to believe that it was roadkill, and the trailer park kids just found something better than a flaming bag of shit.
All of that weirdness fucked with me for a couple days, but nothing else happened, and believe me, I paid attention. until last night, and more to come on that. Right now, I’m still panning through those events. I’ll get back to you on that, but right now, has anyone else had any occurrences like that happen to them? If so, please leave something helpful.

This one has been bugging me for a while.
Silhouette Romance book, maybe a Montana special edition.
FMC is driving unfamiliar country roads in the middle of a snowstorm at night.
She ends up at a ranch house, not sure if she breaks down and MMC finds her or she sees the lights and goes there.
Grumpy MMC think she’s just a stupid city girl etc etc but offers her a room in the ranch house to wait out the snow which could be days.
In the morning she discovers all the ranch hands are total slobs so she starts cooking and cleaning and stuff to help out since she’s stuck there.
MMC realises she isn’t just a stupid city city and falls in love.
She’s not a single mum and I don’t recall her being a widow either.
Please Obi-Wan Romance Books, you’re my only hope.

Saint Pachomius the Great was both a model of desert dwelling, and with Saints Anthony the Great (January 17), Macarius the Great (January 19), and Euthymius the Great (January 20), a founder of the cenobitic monastic life in Egypt.
Saint Pachomius was born in the third century in the Thebaid (Upper Egypt). His parents were pagans who gave him an excellent secular education. From his youth he had a good character, and he was prudent and sensible.
When Pachomius reached the age of twenty, he was called up to serve in the army of the emperor Constantine (apparently, in the year 315). They put the new conscripts in a city prison guarded by soldiers. The local Christians fed the soldiers and took care of them.
When the young man learned that these people acted this way because of their love for God, fulfilling His commandment to love their neighbor, this made a deep impression upon his pure soul. Pachomius vowed to become a Christian. Pachomius returned from the army after the victory, received holy Baptism, moved to the lonely settlement of Shenesit, and began to lead a strict ascetic life. Realizing the need for spiritual guidance, he turned to the desert-dweller Palamon. He was accepted by the Elder, and he began to follow the example of his instructor in monastic struggles.
Once, after ten years of asceticism, Saint Pachomius made his way through the desert, and halted at the ruins of the former village of Tabennisi. Here he heard a Voice ordering him to start a monastery at this place. Pachomius told the Elder Palamon of this, and they both regarded the words as a command from God.
They went to Tabennisi and built a small monastic cell. The holy Elder Palamon blessed the foundations of the monastery and predicted its future glory. But soon Palamon departed to the Lord. An angel of God then appeared to Saint Pachomius in the form of a schemamonk and gave him a Rule of monastic life. Soon his older brother John came and settled there with him.
Saint Pachomius endured many temptations and assaults from the Enemy of the race of man, but he resisted all temptations by his prayer and endurance.
Gradually, followers began to gather around Saint Pachomius. Their teacher impressed everyone by his love for work, which enabled him to accomplish all kinds of monastic tasks. He cultivated a garden, he conversed with those seeking guidance, and he tended to the sick.
Saint Pachomius introduced a monastic Rule of cenobitic life, giving everyone the same food and attire. The monks of the monastery fulfilled the obediences assigned them for the common good of the monastery. Among the various obediences was copying books. The monks were not allowed to possess their own money nor to accept anything from their relatives. Saint Pachomius considered that an obedience fulfilled with zeal was greater than fasting or prayer. He also demanded from the monks an exact observance of the monastic Rule, and he chastized slackers.
His sister Maria came to see Saint Pachomius, but the strict ascetic refused to see her. Through the gate keeper, he blessed her to enter upon the path of monastic life, promising his help with this. Maria wept, but did as her brother had ordered. The Tabennisi monks built her a hut on the opposite side of the River Nile. Nuns also began to gather around Maria. Soon a women’s monastery was formed with a strict monastic Rule provided by Saint Pachomius.
The number of monks at the monastery grew quickly, and it became necessary to build seven more monasteries in the vicinity. The number of monks reached 7,000, all under the guidance of Saint Pachomius, who visited all the monasteries and administered them. At the same time Saint Pachomius remained a deeply humble monk, who was always ready to comply with and accept the words of each brother.
Severe and strict towards himself, Saint Pachomius had great kindness and condescension toward the deficiencies of spiritually immature monks. One of the monks was eager for martyrdom, but Saint Pachomius turned him from this desire and instructed him to fulfill his monastic obedience, taming his pride, and training him in humility.
Once, a monk did not heed his advice and left the monastery. He was set upon by brigands, who threatened him with death and forced him to offer sacrifice to the pagan gods. Filled with despair, the monk returned to the monastery. Saint Pachomius ordered him to pray intensely night and day, keep a strict fast and live in complete solitude. The monk followed his advice, and this saved his soul from despair.
The saint taught his spiritual children to avoid judging others, and he himself feared to judge anyone even in thought.
Saint Pachomius cared for the sick monks with special love. He visited them, he cheered the disheartened, he urged them to be thankful to God, and put their hope in His holy will. He relaxed the fasting rule for the sick, if this would help them recover their health. Once, in the saint’s absence, the cook did not prepare any cooked food for the monks, assuming that the brethren loved to fast. Instead of fulfilling his obedience, the cook plaited 500 mats, something which Saint Pachomius had not told him to do. In punishment for his disobedience, all the mats prepared by the cook were burned.
Saint Pachomius always taught the monks to rely only upon God’s help and mercy. It happened that there was a shortage of grain at the monastery. The saint spent the whole night in prayer, and in the morning a large quantity of bread was sent to the monastery from the city, at no charge. The Lord granted Saint Pachomius the gift of wonderworking and healing the sick.
The Lord revealed to him the future of monasticism. The saint learned that future monks would not have such zeal in their struggles as the first generation had, and they would not have experienced guides. Prostrating himself upon the ground, Saint Pachomius wept bitterly, calling out to the Lord and imploring mercy for them. He heard a Voice answer, “Pachomius, be mindful of the mercy of God. The monks of the future shall receive a reward, since they too shall have occasion to suffer the life burdensome for the monk.”
Toward the end of his life Saint Pachomius fell ill from a pestilence that afflicted the region. His closest disciple, Saint Theodore (May 17), tended to him with filial love. Saint Pachomius died around the year 348 at the age of fifty-three, and was buried on a hill near the monastery.
Source

MAIN ISSUE IS GIVEN WITH "‼️‼️" BELOW AND THE FIRST CHEATING EVENT IS GIVEN BELOW IN 🚩🚩🚩
THIS IS JUST BACKGROUND Hi guys, I am going through a dilemma. I (25 F) and my husband (30 M) are both Pakistani and live in the Gulf. We had our paper marriage, aka Nikkah, in 2017 and got married, i.e., moved into his house, in 2019. We've known each other since 2016, and this was a love marriage. My husband went against his parents' wishes to get married to me, whereas my family is very supportive of whatever choices I make.
During COVID, I moved into my parents' house because of my two younger brothers, 15 and 12 at that time, as my parents got stuck in our home country for six months. My husband would spend four days with me and four days with his parents, i.e., peak COVID lockdown in 2020. Since I've known my husband, this is the first time I accidentally found out his phone password, whereas he always insisted on having all of my social media passcodes in the past.
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 Anyways, I opened up his Snapchat without any malicious intent to check out his phone to get a few couple photos that we took on his phone, and Snapchat showed memories of last year of the same date. It was with some Filipinos (nothing against them, but where I live, they are usually considered as sex workers). I went and checked the old photos, and I saw that he had pictures with a lot of random women and specifically with his ex-girlfriend in the year 2018. They both had taken a lot of selfies from his sitting very close to each other in bars and even alone in the car, again very close to each other in his arms. I also found out he was asking Filipino their rates for sex work,and he also met one of them in his car and went to meet one in a mall during peak COVID lockdown.
Anyways, I didn't plan to talk to him about it because I was newly wed and didn't want to face consequences, and I thought he might stop on his own. Fast forward a few months later, my parents came back safely, and I moved back into my husband's house with his parents, and this is the time when I first actually started living with them, and within a few weeks, my FIL came to hit me with a shoe when I refused to give him my phone as a punishment for using it so often.
Anyways, things started escalating a lot, and my husband and I were having regular fights because of his parents always crossing boundaries. Then one day, we had a fight, and in the heat of the moment, I accidentally said out about his affairs. So we talked about it, and he said that he met his ex-girlfriend just like a friend as she came back from her home country after a long time, and he was asking for rates of Filipinos for his single friend. When I asked about what did you do with the Filipino you picked up in the car, he said that they just ate shawarmas by the seaside. I was naive and I bought into his narrative, even though I agreed to believe in his story,the uneasy feeling never left to the point where I refuse to have a child with him as I don't think I have a secure future with him.
Due to his parents bickering all the time, I finally snapped back at them, and they made a huge deal out of it and threw me out of the house, and my husband and I both went no contact for one whole year as I demanded a separate house even if I have to face hunger. When we did finally talk again, he convinced me that this won't happen again from his parents' side, and he will start fulfilling my basic rights as a wife, i.e., fulfilling my basic needs, maintaining peace, and protecting.
During this whole time, my father was the one who fulfilled all my basic needs. Anyways, I moved back in with him at the end of 2021, and he did not stay true to his word. He still picks out fights, his parents still shout, scream at me occasionally, and he only gives me a bare minimum monthly allowance, which is not enough for me, and I still have to end up asking my father for money. Please keep in mind I am a university student, and my father pays for all car maintenance, university fees, and essential needs, and the amount that my husband gives me usually goes out in just fuel and a few meals in university.
Anyways, the point is that coming back to his house in 2021 till the end of 2023, we used to constant fights mostly because of his anger issues and just generally being rude and in a bad mood all the time. I had to beg him crying to change his behavior towards me and to be nicer to me when talks, or else I will have no other option than to leave him. He did become nicer for three months until he started being rude again for over daily routine issues until his family was hit by a huge crisis due to his younger brother's fault. That's when he became polite to me again.
‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ THE MAIN ISSUE My main dilemma, after all of these ups downs, I really thought I was seeing some improvement in him, and I was finally feeling optimistic about my future with him, but I guess God has some other plans. He accidentally forgot to lock his phone last month, and I found out he had been texting sex workers again and asking their prices. He was also in contact with a girl, let's call her J, via Snapchat since 2021 till now, and only a few chats were saved in one which he was begging to convince her that I am not his wife rather his sister. Apparently, J saw me and husband out somewhere. I let all of this go again since I thought it's pointless bringing this up as things are now improving. Two weeks after me finding out, I randomly get a dick pic from my husband at 4 am when I was sleeping next to him, and he was awake and came back from a night out with his friends. When I woke up, my husband was asleep; I found it very suspicious since we don't get these kinds of pictures anymore. He forgot to lock his phone again and LO AND BEHOLD he sent the same dick pic to her with me literally sleeping next to him. What fathoms me the most is that how could he not feel any shame with me laying next to him.
Anyways, I talked about it a few days later, and he basically told me that he was trying to check J's loyalty for his friend. Please keep in mind his friend is also married and has 3-4 kids. I asked my husband why did you do it for your friend when you should have understood it the first time I caught you and made an issue out of it, and he said I thought that I would understand him doing all this for a friend, and I should've specifically asked him to stop doing it for his friends if I have such issues. Anyways, a part of me wants to believe his bullshit story, but a part of me knows that he is trying to manipulate me again as I can't even why a person who went against his parents' wishes would literally go out of his way to ruin his marriage. Does he want me to initiate the divorce so that he doesn't get the blame? WTF is it I am so confused, and I would most definitely will never have a child with a person who cheats.