Flipper for primary teeth what s new
Rooster Teeth
2010.11.29 23:56 jamesbondq Rooster Teeth
"Recall that in time, all becomes dust and bone." A subreddit for content regarding Rooster Teeth Productions, including Red vs. Blue, Achievement Hunter, RWBY, Rooster Teeth Podcast, etc.
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A community for chemists and those who love chemistry
2009.10.21 13:15 enderpanda 80s
Sub dedicated to your favorite decade!
2024.05.14 01:13 xxivtarotmagic_ Fellow salaried employees, are your bosses sticklers about time?
I started my new job back in December, so I’m still pretty new. Prior to my first day, my boss called me to go over what I could expect my first week. One of the things she asked me was what hours I wanted to work. I said 7 AM - 4 PM to which she agreed.
So because my day starts a lot earlier, I often get to work well before 7:00, like at 6:35, and I’m at my desk by 6:40. Now, the vast majority of my coworkers work the typical 8:00 - 5:00 schedule, but I noticed that some will come in a little after 8:00. I never thought much of it because I figured it was no big deal since most of us are salaried. Besides, a lot of us like to go out for lunch, and it’s totally acceptable for us to leave at 11:30 and come back at 1:00. So I never got the sense they were sticklers about time.
Today, I got to work around 6:35 and was at my desk by 6:40, per usual. Fast forward to this afternoon, 3:40 rolls around and I pack up my stuff and leave. Well, I get a text from my boss asking if I was okay. I say “yes ma’am, all good.” She says “okay because I went by your desk at 3:45 today and you were gone.” I was shocked so I lied and said, “oh I had a doctor’s appointment right after work today and I wanted to beat the traffic. Apologies for not telling you sooner.” She hasn’t responded (which I don’t find odd since she doesn’t always reply to texts because she’s so busy.)
But I just don’t understand why me leaving 15 minutes early is such a big deal. Especially considering everything else. I’m salaried, so it’s not like I clock in and out
TIA!
submitted by xxivtarotmagic_ to jobs [link] [comments]
So because my day starts a lot earlier, I often get to work well before 7:00, like at 6:35, and I’m at my desk by 6:40. Now, the vast majority of my coworkers work the typical 8:00 - 5:00 schedule, but I noticed that some will come in a little after 8:00. I never thought much of it because I figured it was no big deal since most of us are salaried. Besides, a lot of us like to go out for lunch, and it’s totally acceptable for us to leave at 11:30 and come back at 1:00. So I never got the sense they were sticklers about time.
Today, I got to work around 6:35 and was at my desk by 6:40, per usual. Fast forward to this afternoon, 3:40 rolls around and I pack up my stuff and leave. Well, I get a text from my boss asking if I was okay. I say “yes ma’am, all good.” She says “okay because I went by your desk at 3:45 today and you were gone.” I was shocked so I lied and said, “oh I had a doctor’s appointment right after work today and I wanted to beat the traffic. Apologies for not telling you sooner.” She hasn’t responded (which I don’t find odd since she doesn’t always reply to texts because she’s so busy.)
But I just don’t understand why me leaving 15 minutes early is such a big deal. Especially considering everything else. I’m salaried, so it’s not like I clock in and out
TIA!
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 | submitted by Feeling-Diver2245 to pokerrrr2 [link] [comments] |
2024.05.14 01:11 Reasonable_Space_360 How to get pity instead of judgment.
I know neither one is good, but sometimes those are the only two reactions I’m realistically going to get when I screw up in a way that a neurotypical person wouldn’t understand.
A few examples of how I struggle with this.
It is very difficult for me to remember daily tasks like brushing my teeth. I cannot form habits. Doing that for over 20 years with poor access to dental care has left me with mostly blackened, dead, misshapen teeth. I tried getting some of them fixed a few years ago when I finally had some money but left the office abruptly because I could see such strong judgment in the eyes of both the dentist and the assistant. They thought I was a severe drug addict and did not want me there. They were not a receptive audience to any alternative explanation. Well, the time has come to go to the dentist again and I’m terrified. I don’t want people who hate me inside my mouth.
Basic interactions at work are hard. I take longer at some things that are “basic” for everybody else. I have to go slower because I’m clumsy and it will be worse if I try to match the pace of others. Basic conversations are also hard because they feel like minefields. The more time passes, the more people begin to judge me as a bad person. Telling people I have autism only makes it worse because they don’t know what to do with the information.
I know pity isn’t good, but in some situations it’s a lot better than judgment. Pity at least inclines people to help instead of withhold. And I need help from people at this point.
submitted by Reasonable_Space_360 to autism [link] [comments]
A few examples of how I struggle with this.
It is very difficult for me to remember daily tasks like brushing my teeth. I cannot form habits. Doing that for over 20 years with poor access to dental care has left me with mostly blackened, dead, misshapen teeth. I tried getting some of them fixed a few years ago when I finally had some money but left the office abruptly because I could see such strong judgment in the eyes of both the dentist and the assistant. They thought I was a severe drug addict and did not want me there. They were not a receptive audience to any alternative explanation. Well, the time has come to go to the dentist again and I’m terrified. I don’t want people who hate me inside my mouth.
Basic interactions at work are hard. I take longer at some things that are “basic” for everybody else. I have to go slower because I’m clumsy and it will be worse if I try to match the pace of others. Basic conversations are also hard because they feel like minefields. The more time passes, the more people begin to judge me as a bad person. Telling people I have autism only makes it worse because they don’t know what to do with the information.
I know pity isn’t good, but in some situations it’s a lot better than judgment. Pity at least inclines people to help instead of withhold. And I need help from people at this point.
2024.05.14 01:11 lilithhollow Victorian-era inspired Hogwarts Legacy writing drabble. (Ominis POV)
I love reading classic literature, specifically works from the 19th century, so I wanted to write a fan work for this game with that feeling:
“You are quite ridiculous!” came the vivacious and teasing voice of one student passing by the open window. This declaration was answered by the distinct and familiar laughter of another, carried on the autumn wind and drenched in the odor of decaying foliage and the promise of rain.
From his seat in the west wing of the library, parchment and tomes stacked beside him, Ominis Gaunt followed the sound until it vanished completely beyond the courtyard, sensations of uneasy feeling coloring his neck and ears. After a pause, he regained his senses. He shook his head, as if banishing the regretful thought that had then stolen into his mind.
“Why does he keep volunteering himself on her behalf?” He whispered, thinking of the owner of that feminine voice – a new fifth-year student at Hogwarts - an anomaly on its own merit - who had, in half the time succeeding her arrival, attained the magnetic affections of his oldest friend, Sebastian Sallow. “Of course - it’s because she’s new and decidedly beautiful.” Ominis told himself, merely speculating on the state of her physiognomy by the lilting cadence of her voice and the faint wisps of form his wand could communicate to him at a distance. Being blind since birth, he, out of necessity, had developed a magical ‘seeing eye' with the ebony tool he now pressed between his right forefinger and the book in his lap.
He hadn’t dared approach her directly when she’d first entered the Slytherin common room a month prior, for a frenzy of students had erupted around her the moment she’d set foot in it. From there, rumors spread like bees pollinating a garden after a long and depressing winter:
“The new girl had a ministry escort!”
“She was attacked by a dragon!”
“No, she rode the dragon!”
“Supposedly she was a squib before…”
“That can’t be - I heard she's a transfer student and can speak seven languages!”
“That’s a cover - her real secret was that she was privately tutored and has rare and explosively dangerous magic!”
These accounts became increasingly absurd because no one truly knew anything for certain, thus making everything possible. The girl herself was peculiarly private but charmingly polite - a combination that instantly made any would-be-pryer retreat into stuttering awkwardness. They did at the very least glean her name, which quickly became the subject of their fantastical speculations: Mélisande Clarusia Warwick.
From within his pocket, Ominis retrieved the note Sebastian’s owl had delivered him that day:
“Ominis,
Apologies for the abrupt change of plans, but our anticipated study session this afternoon must be postponed. Professor Weasley has graciously requested I accompany ‘MC’ to Hogsmeade for the replenishment of her class supplies, a task I’m sure you know I could hardly decline, given my inclination towards gentlemanly conduct. Incidentally, I cannot help but suspect Mel’s humble dismissal of her exceptional dueling prowess belies a deliberate modesty; there is undoubtedly more to her than meets the eye.
Regardless, I’ll make it up to you! If I’m not in the common room by nightfall, you know where to find me.
Sebastian.”
It did not escape Ominis’s notice that Sebastian, after weathering defeat by her in a duel during their first Defense Against the Dark Arts class together, had taken personal interest in MC and even dubbed her as such - among other names - needling her about the verbose nature of her formal title. Further, it was uncharacteristic of Sebastian to cancel a study session, seeing as he typically made any excuse to visit the library on behalf of research for his ill sister, Anne… nevermind the fact that Ominis could not recall any instance in recent memory where Sebastian had canceled on him, specifically.
After a moment’s hesitation, he refined the creases on the letter and tucked it back into the pocket of his waistcoat. He swallowed, brows furrowing and found that he no longer cared about the dancing plague of 1518 or the other contents of the book he’d since abandoned on his lap.
Sebastian did not come to dinner that evening. In customary fashion, Ominis found himself solitary - twiddling his fork on his plate - his company forsaken even by his housemates, who tended to cast upon him looks of cautious regard. They granted him a wide berth - huddling together three or four invisible student’s places apart from him. Through the soles of his shoes he felt the vibrations of doors slamming across the hall as students filtered out and the bench beneath him shifted when those occupying it left. The idle chatter of two teachers drifted across the cavernous room. Ominis sighed, folding a leaf of wax paper over a blueberry muffin.
“She was missing too…” he noted passively and wondered if he ought to have purloined a second muffin from the banquet table.
He held his wand aloft as he rose, a crimson bead of light fluttering like a heartbeat on its tip. The sensation of structures - rows of oak tables and benches - extended across the space before him. As he walked, he approximated the mass of these objects: how near they existed to his kneecaps, how firmly they were anchored to the floor - all actions thoughtlessly natural to him.
The passageway led from the Great Hall into the Viaduct Courtyard and a faint chill heralded that twilight had fallen upon the surrounding landscape. The tumult of student life had withdrawn for the night, taking with them a clamor of distracting noises and smells. Ominis meditated on the silence, finding solace in measuring the rhythm of his footfalls as he paced across the leaf-littered earth.
He imagined Sebastian with his freckled nose buried in a book in the Undercroft and smiled.
“It’s not the first time he’s worked through dinner,” he reminded himself. “Anne is lucky to have such a brother.” A pang of sadness worked dully at his chest following the mention of Anne’s name. Nothing had been quite like it was since before she’d fallen ill. “Even Sebastian’s laughter seems contrived these days.”
Suddenly a thunderous crack echoed across the hillside to his right, akin to a bolt of lightning striking a tree. Ominis jolted so forcefully that he nearly dropped the muffin in his left hand.
“W-what was that?” He gasped, his head swimming with adrenaline. The atmosphere reeked of burnt timber. Swiftly, he sought the protection of the cloister, his wand hand sweeping the clearing.
The path beneath his feet dropped into a series of stairs ending where the Black Lake licked the limestone and wooden boats rocked innocently in the building below. To the muggle, prepared to dismiss the absence of petrichor, this artificial thunderstroke might have signified a distant storm but Ominis knew well the vast and formidable traits of magic.
Someone was dashing up the stairs to his left - their feet tapping like raindrops on the hard surface. Ominis pressed himself plumb against the column and held his breath.
Her scent preceded her - like honeysuckle, mild and sweet. Following closely, the sound of her breath, quick and shallow, as though from a brisk sprint. The swish of her robes marked her entrance, swift and fleeting. In a moment, she vanished through the nearest castle door, oblivious to the presence of an onlooker.
Ominis found himself immobilized by his perplexity. He had, he was sure, sensed some great surge of energy, unlike any he had previously encountered, as she glided past him. An enigmatic metallic tang lingered on her garments, its quality imprinted on his senses. As he reviewed the day’s - no - the month’s occurrences and considered Sebastian’s recent preoccupation, a daring notion began to take root in his mind:
The new girl was forging a novel strain of magic.
submitted by lilithhollow to hogwartslegacyJKR [link] [comments]
“You are quite ridiculous!” came the vivacious and teasing voice of one student passing by the open window. This declaration was answered by the distinct and familiar laughter of another, carried on the autumn wind and drenched in the odor of decaying foliage and the promise of rain.
From his seat in the west wing of the library, parchment and tomes stacked beside him, Ominis Gaunt followed the sound until it vanished completely beyond the courtyard, sensations of uneasy feeling coloring his neck and ears. After a pause, he regained his senses. He shook his head, as if banishing the regretful thought that had then stolen into his mind.
“Why does he keep volunteering himself on her behalf?” He whispered, thinking of the owner of that feminine voice – a new fifth-year student at Hogwarts - an anomaly on its own merit - who had, in half the time succeeding her arrival, attained the magnetic affections of his oldest friend, Sebastian Sallow. “Of course - it’s because she’s new and decidedly beautiful.” Ominis told himself, merely speculating on the state of her physiognomy by the lilting cadence of her voice and the faint wisps of form his wand could communicate to him at a distance. Being blind since birth, he, out of necessity, had developed a magical ‘seeing eye' with the ebony tool he now pressed between his right forefinger and the book in his lap.
He hadn’t dared approach her directly when she’d first entered the Slytherin common room a month prior, for a frenzy of students had erupted around her the moment she’d set foot in it. From there, rumors spread like bees pollinating a garden after a long and depressing winter:
“The new girl had a ministry escort!”
“She was attacked by a dragon!”
“No, she rode the dragon!”
“Supposedly she was a squib before…”
“That can’t be - I heard she's a transfer student and can speak seven languages!”
“That’s a cover - her real secret was that she was privately tutored and has rare and explosively dangerous magic!”
These accounts became increasingly absurd because no one truly knew anything for certain, thus making everything possible. The girl herself was peculiarly private but charmingly polite - a combination that instantly made any would-be-pryer retreat into stuttering awkwardness. They did at the very least glean her name, which quickly became the subject of their fantastical speculations: Mélisande Clarusia Warwick.
From within his pocket, Ominis retrieved the note Sebastian’s owl had delivered him that day:
“Ominis,
Apologies for the abrupt change of plans, but our anticipated study session this afternoon must be postponed. Professor Weasley has graciously requested I accompany ‘MC’ to Hogsmeade for the replenishment of her class supplies, a task I’m sure you know I could hardly decline, given my inclination towards gentlemanly conduct. Incidentally, I cannot help but suspect Mel’s humble dismissal of her exceptional dueling prowess belies a deliberate modesty; there is undoubtedly more to her than meets the eye.
Regardless, I’ll make it up to you! If I’m not in the common room by nightfall, you know where to find me.
Sebastian.”
It did not escape Ominis’s notice that Sebastian, after weathering defeat by her in a duel during their first Defense Against the Dark Arts class together, had taken personal interest in MC and even dubbed her as such - among other names - needling her about the verbose nature of her formal title. Further, it was uncharacteristic of Sebastian to cancel a study session, seeing as he typically made any excuse to visit the library on behalf of research for his ill sister, Anne… nevermind the fact that Ominis could not recall any instance in recent memory where Sebastian had canceled on him, specifically.
After a moment’s hesitation, he refined the creases on the letter and tucked it back into the pocket of his waistcoat. He swallowed, brows furrowing and found that he no longer cared about the dancing plague of 1518 or the other contents of the book he’d since abandoned on his lap.
Sebastian did not come to dinner that evening. In customary fashion, Ominis found himself solitary - twiddling his fork on his plate - his company forsaken even by his housemates, who tended to cast upon him looks of cautious regard. They granted him a wide berth - huddling together three or four invisible student’s places apart from him. Through the soles of his shoes he felt the vibrations of doors slamming across the hall as students filtered out and the bench beneath him shifted when those occupying it left. The idle chatter of two teachers drifted across the cavernous room. Ominis sighed, folding a leaf of wax paper over a blueberry muffin.
“She was missing too…” he noted passively and wondered if he ought to have purloined a second muffin from the banquet table.
He held his wand aloft as he rose, a crimson bead of light fluttering like a heartbeat on its tip. The sensation of structures - rows of oak tables and benches - extended across the space before him. As he walked, he approximated the mass of these objects: how near they existed to his kneecaps, how firmly they were anchored to the floor - all actions thoughtlessly natural to him.
The passageway led from the Great Hall into the Viaduct Courtyard and a faint chill heralded that twilight had fallen upon the surrounding landscape. The tumult of student life had withdrawn for the night, taking with them a clamor of distracting noises and smells. Ominis meditated on the silence, finding solace in measuring the rhythm of his footfalls as he paced across the leaf-littered earth.
He imagined Sebastian with his freckled nose buried in a book in the Undercroft and smiled.
“It’s not the first time he’s worked through dinner,” he reminded himself. “Anne is lucky to have such a brother.” A pang of sadness worked dully at his chest following the mention of Anne’s name. Nothing had been quite like it was since before she’d fallen ill. “Even Sebastian’s laughter seems contrived these days.”
Suddenly a thunderous crack echoed across the hillside to his right, akin to a bolt of lightning striking a tree. Ominis jolted so forcefully that he nearly dropped the muffin in his left hand.
“W-what was that?” He gasped, his head swimming with adrenaline. The atmosphere reeked of burnt timber. Swiftly, he sought the protection of the cloister, his wand hand sweeping the clearing.
The path beneath his feet dropped into a series of stairs ending where the Black Lake licked the limestone and wooden boats rocked innocently in the building below. To the muggle, prepared to dismiss the absence of petrichor, this artificial thunderstroke might have signified a distant storm but Ominis knew well the vast and formidable traits of magic.
Someone was dashing up the stairs to his left - their feet tapping like raindrops on the hard surface. Ominis pressed himself plumb against the column and held his breath.
Her scent preceded her - like honeysuckle, mild and sweet. Following closely, the sound of her breath, quick and shallow, as though from a brisk sprint. The swish of her robes marked her entrance, swift and fleeting. In a moment, she vanished through the nearest castle door, oblivious to the presence of an onlooker.
Ominis found himself immobilized by his perplexity. He had, he was sure, sensed some great surge of energy, unlike any he had previously encountered, as she glided past him. An enigmatic metallic tang lingered on her garments, its quality imprinted on his senses. As he reviewed the day’s - no - the month’s occurrences and considered Sebastian’s recent preoccupation, a daring notion began to take root in his mind:
The new girl was forging a novel strain of magic.
2024.05.14 01:10 AlexandertheIght I really need to figure it put
Okay, fourth rewrite, I'm making this in hopes that their is someone who can help me in some way. Maybe someone knows the answer to it all and can guide me, though unlikely. I'll just list out all my issues in seperate paragraphs and hopefully their is just someone out their to help, if you can help me just please do, I really need help or at least someone and you reading this and giving me advice would truly mean a lot to me. Anyways
I feel stupid: I honestly feel braindead, I hate my mind so much. Sometimes it's hard to think or do, sometimes I can't think or do. My mind is so numb, everything about my mind just feels wrong and dead. My mind has felt dead for a year or two now and I just wish it was alive, I want my mind to be normol, I want it to actually work. I also want confidence in my mind, any failure or lack of underatanding makes me defeated and feeling like a dunce. Anything I can do I say was just luck or something anyone should know. I don't know if I'm stupid or not but dam I feel like I am the dumbest in a room. I would give it all to be intelliegent, I wish I was smart, well read, well informed, well versed. I so desperately want to know, so desperately want to be smart. I wish I could understand stuff. I just want to be smart and have a bright alive mind, but my mind is so dead and desolate and compared to the rest worthless. I hit myself in my head whenever I'm mistaken or just feel so stupid, and I honestly deserve it. If I were to kill myself my mind being numb and stupid would be the reason or a big reason why, I just want to be smart. You can likely tell just how much of an idiot I am by reading this via grammer, spelling, complaints. That "likely" was meant to be "probaboly" but I'm just stupid and worthless to spell. If there was just a way to be smart and not such a moron, I fucking hate my life.
I have body issues: I without doubt have body issues, the biggest of which is my weight. As of now I am 5,9 (1.7M) and 211lbs (95.7KG), I was 246lbs (111kg) to begin with and it was also my heaviest. Despite losing a good amount of weight I am not happy and have no pride, I'm still fat and thats all I see sadly. I don't want to be fat or skinny, I want to be muscular:big arms, built chest, flat stomach, no abs (don't like them) that sounds appealing, it's what I want. Unfourtunely I as of now can't work to this goal, I don't have money for a gym or equipment, famliy funds can't do it ethier and awhile ago I turned down a weight bench since I wasn't confident, now I regret that choice. I hate being fat so much, and this deep hatred and desperation has led to a embarassing cycle, for two years now I have been downloading images of muscular bodies. They're all drawings or from videogames since I'm to embarresed to have real images and as mentioned it's a cycle, Download and store -> have them and look at them for awhile -> get ashamed of myself -> purge it all -> regret -> repeat. Like stated this has been going for two years and as of now I have ten different images. Apart from weight I also have some other physical insecurites, acne being a big one. I been suffering from acne for years, fifth grade, early sixth grade is when it started so five years of this. It mostly effects my chin and cheeks badly but also effects more of my face, sometimes the acne hurts and it often even bleeds. I hate touching my face and feeling grime and ripping off a bunch of skin and dried shit. I wash every night and try to be frequent with morning witch-hazel but it dosen't relent. I also hate it when it gets mentioned, it is irratating to be reminded and noticed and nobody points it out more then my own mom who also cliams it would go if I just washed. I do, I fucking do! It's not working and you don't understand that! I also have body acne I don't know how to fix, I like sleeping shirtless which I know is the reason, also inconsistent with bedding which isn't right. Even if I did wash sheets weekly it wouldn't be enough, I would still get acne on my body. I just want to sleep shirtless and not get acne, I wish I could find a way. Another insecurite but not really is my height, I don't mind being 5'9/5'10 I mean it's about average height and I beat out my 5'4 father. But I'm sixteen which mean I still have possibilty to get taller and I wonder, will I? If I do, just how tall? Could I reach 6'0+? All of this speculation makes me a bit insecure, also with being fat I look short and round in the mirror which is defeating. I'm secure besides speculation and weight but at the same time I truly want to be taller, I think any man tall or short wishes they were taller, I wish I could break 6'0 that would be cool (to me). But I don't think that will ever happen, my dad is 5'4, my mom is 5'6 I made it 5'9/5'10 and my chart is stagnating, should just stop thinking I'll get taller. Another phsyical insecurite and likely the last one I'll mention unless I think of another worthwhile one is my hair, I'm insecurie of my hairstyle. Or lack of hairstyle, my mom says I have independence in this choice but whenever I make a choice she complains about it. Any agreement is one sided or changed up a little so she likes it. I have always hated my hairstyles over the years, even now and as of now it's ethier her way or a unorgainzied thick mess that will soon be her way. I hate it, wish I could make my own "independent" choice, even if I could my mom would likely hate it and always bring it up which is something I don't want to deal with. My mom is more for short cuts and fades etc, I hate fades and while I do admire short hair have always taken liking to shagger and longer styles, more rugged style. I have also always liked long hair and even wanted it. I used to openly want long hair for a long time but my mom opposed, I tried to convince her but she was opposed. She wasn't only opposed to it she made sure to express that it was gay and feminine etc, etc. She made me close off and forgot the desire but even now she won't let go. She is so sure to tell everyone: famliy, her friends, the hairdresser, hell maybe even strangers, she tells everyone about how much I wanted it and what she thought of it etc. Often I have been embarresed like this while I was right there, I have expressed that this embarreses me and want it to stop mutiple times yet she'll continue almost as if it's purposeful, she will also bring up an old friend T who had long hair as an example of it looking bad. But he didn't take care of it or do anything, most he would do is give into his moms begging and have her brush it. If I had long hair I would actually take care of it and do stuff to it! She also claims I got the idea from him, but no I liked it since elementary being inspired by personal inkling and rock. I no longer want hair but am starting to find styles I really like, but first I need to get my mom to fuck off. And second I would want to grow a beard, which is another issue of mine. I'm sixteen I shouldn't expect a full beard but I have seen peers with actual good facial hair, patchy beards, five o'clocks, some actually have a beard. Then there is me, with some sideburns and a bunch of peachfuzz, I want to be able to grow a beard and the peachfuzz plus sideburns bother me, I want it to actually devlop, I want a beard. I am also worried about devlopment, worried acne will hurt or even stop growth. I'm upset about my lack of growth though I definetly have unrealistic expectations. Lastly with hair is my chest hair, I'm quite hairy and I like it. And I have chest hair but barely and I just wish I had more over a greater coverage, more of a funny insecurite, lol. One more insecurity I forgot about is my voice. I'm loud when talking and my voice isn't as deep as I wish so that sucks.
(copy and paste from older write) I wish I had a father: I don't have a father or any form of father figure, I'm fatherless and it hurts a lot. My father has been out of my life since I was elevenish/twelveish (the peak of covid passed), we kicked him out because he is and was a meth addict in and out of the jail. He was a fuctioning addict so not violent and not as obvious of an addict but the meth still took him over. My mother says she kept him around and gave him so many chances because she wanted him to be in my life as a father. But he was no father when he was around, he didn't parent me, he didn't play his role as a father and guide as a masculine role model, hell he likely didn't even truly care for me. My only memories of him really are going to McDonold's with him, after which he dumpster dived behind the plaza as I begged for us to go back home. Or me wanting to bond with him so he sets up the brilliant idea of dragging me around with his skechy friends, to skechy places, even at skechy times. I don't understand why I knew sooner, guess I was a stupid basterd but I started picking up that my dad was a bad person around fifth grade. By then I quickly found out more and more and tenstion was growing, by eleven we we're going to kick him out but covid struck it's height and our household seemed palpable. But very quickly we said fuck it and threw him to the curb, we weren't going to have it no longer. Soon after around thirteen I was happy that he was gone but slightly disappointed that I no longer had a father (even if he was useless) and I hoped my mom would find someone, not only for herself but for me. By fourteen this really layed in heavy on me and the lack of a father really bummed me out, I got really stupid and desperate using bitlife to create guys then add me and my mom in to create step father famlies even adding step siblings and shit. By late fourteen it was made clear to me by my mom that "we don't need no man" and that she was done with dating. I very well do need a father figure, every child needs one. Hell I as a guy truly need(ed) one, there are so many lessons and things that come from a fatheson relationship that are crucial to a boy and I missed out on them. Hell even when my dad was around I missed out on lessons, I still remember he was tasked to teach me how to tie my shoes but got mad at me struggling and walked away. He refused to help afterward and I refused to try and never to this day learned the proper way to tie, instead I have my own far less efficent method. I missed out on so much by not having a father and it hurts to know that and I just wish I had the knowledge, without a masculine role model I have definetly missed out what it is to be a man and likely am even a loser of a man. I just want a father so badly, I want what a father provides so badly, I want the bond that it comes with. I wish I just had a guy to talk to and bond with, I want a dad just so badly. I wish I had someone who taught me how to change a tire or fish and all that shit, but I'll never have it and it angers me, I am angry to be fatherless, I am angry and lost without a father figure, and I'm jealous. I kind of want to have children when the time comes, I wonder if I'll fail them as well.
Friends: Growing up I was always a bit introverted, I think it was of my nature but was amplafied by life. In elementary I often acquainted myself with people never having any close friends outside my after school program. Jumping to middle school I had a good friend-group but it turned out my good friend T was really an ass and I was pushed out by him in early nineth grade. Later in nineth I met my good friend, my best friend M. This year in tenth I was introduced to a friend named D by M. These are my only two friends and I'm happy with them, though there are a few issues. Not anything major but just a few things, like how we never do anything outside of school. The only thing I really miss about my old friendgroup is that we actually did shit: springs, houses, events, parks, attractions, food. Now me, M and, D don't and have never done anything outside of school and the computer. M likely couldn't do anything because of his famliy and D just seems completely disinterested and worried about money. But I wish we could really do something, sure videogames are fun but it would be fun if we could just goof off somewhere, be stupid. This is really the only general "issue" apart from that no major strain or issue in the friendgroup. But I do have a few personal grievences, starting with D. I think D has a darker side of him, he seems to not respect or care for me and will sometimes show it in nasty ways. He had told both me and M to kill ourselves, he attacks insecurites, he says rude shit, etc. Also with D, we have never truly connected, never gotten to know each other personally. Without M we would be mere acquaintance, M is the only reason why me and D are friends and being alone with each other is mostly silence and maybe him showing me a TikTok. Then M, I have no personal issues with M only small factors of our friendship I'm upset or worried about. Starting off with is school, halfway through this year (tenth) M started a FLVS-hybrid. I am happy for him and it's something we both expressed wanting but now I never really see him. I could see him at lunch but he dosen't really come in and only other time I can see him is leaving campus. I ethier catch him and barely have a conversation worthwhile or he's to far ahead and I got to give up trying to reach him. The only way to talk to my best friend nowadays really is Discord, and that isn't even reliable since his parents are often controlling the WI-FI or taking his stuff away. This means when I do talk to my friend it can suddenly be ended as he disconnects or I can't even. This sucks, it feels like I can't even talk to my best friend that much. But that isn't all, because I'm worried for my friend M. His parents don't sound the best from all he's told me, I won't share his issues but just as an example he didn't have a bedroom for two months. Hearing what we gose through is alreadly dishearting but something that I worry deeply about is him talking sucide. He has talked and half joked about it several times and it's worry, I been trying to discourage but he continues with it so now I'm just trying to ignore it. That is likely the wrong way of handling it but I just don't know what to do. I hope it's always bluff and he moves out and moves on with he can, I don't want him to kill himself.
I'm lonely: I'm sixteen but I'm lonely. I am the only one of my friends who hasn't had a relationship, I am not the most worried about that, I don't want to date just to date, I want to date to love. But hell I still wish I had a relationship, even just a sterotypical high-school one. But what I truly want is true love, I want a woman I love with all my heart and a woman who loves me with all of hers, I want a woman to provide for, to protect, to matter to. I want to marry and possibly have kids. I want to love someone, be there for someone. But will I ever even have that? I'm alreadly a loser who no woman would want and even then from what I've heard, "modren dating is terrible" so what chance do I even have? Will I ever have someone to love? I hope.
School: School makes me so misereble and dead, this place makes me genuinely want to off myself I hate it so much. And it seems to revolve around my whole life, even at home it's all my mom wants to bring up. I just need a break from it all but it seems like it's the only thing in my life, I don't really have anything else. I failed my nineth grade year, I failed since I'm a stupid, worthless peice of shit. But they "passed" me onto tenth, gave me tenth grade classes, test, etc but say I'm still nineth, tell me do nineth grade "remedation" online. Now I'm failing like a worthless peice of shit once again! I wish they held me back to try again but they didn't they just pushed me on, still likely would've failed like a worthless bitch but I could have had a chance. I fucking hate myself I'm so stupid and I hate my school for pushing my stupid ass onward and onward, I should just kill myself at this point. And when I try to reach out to my counselor in any hope for some chance of help the piss poor communcation at this school means it'll take days for a response, I can't even get reliable help over school. Back in middle school I had a GPA in the high 3s, I made honor roll every other quater or so, I had high grades and sucess. But in high-school, in nineth grade I failed with straight Fs and got a GPA of 0.7, now in tenth I have a 1.7 and sometimes get high grades but mostly fail. I just wish I wasn't so stupid, I just wish I was smart and successful at school. But I'm not, I'm a fucking idiot and an embarssment at school. And maybe it would all be okay if it wasn't for the assholes I am surrounded by, my fellow peers of this overcrowded hell hole. Just seems like I can never catch a break with having to deal with people. I just want to be left alone but they're is just always somebody wanting to bother me, harass me. Can sit at a desk then have a bunch of cunts around me, harass me, call me burgundy because of my shirt. Can sit down and be snickered at by the guys in front of me for whatever reason. Sit down and have paper, pencils, even ice hitting me. Sit down and have some imbecible pull up a chair and use my desk as his and block me in my seat because fuck me, am I right? Just want to be left alone but never am, nobody ever dose it's always something. I can't even get respect, not a single bit, just always mistreated. Hell just the other day when I was given my packet I was also mistakenly given the packet of a nearby girl, I get her attention and hand it to her and she just snaches it and mumbles something, because I can't even be respected, I'm worthless. And even when I'm not being directly bothered I got to deal with slow walkers, idiots who don't know how to inconvience everyone else in the halls, the over crowded school. It all fucking sucks I hate it all, everyday I think I'm on the verge of snapping but somehow just have more patience, I don't know how much more of this shit I can or have to endure. At least my mom finally reconsidered my old forgotten pleads for online school and reopened the idea, maybe by some miracle online school will save me and "help me get caught up and ahead" but I doubt it, I'm an idiot who deserves to die. Why am I so fucking stupid, why am I like this? Why must I exist this way?
No hobbies or interest: I used to love a lot of things: reading, history, coming up with things in my head, videogames and, anything really. Now I have grown apathic to it all except videogames and even that dosen't bring much joy. I want to have my old hobbies back but lack the will to return. And I want new hobbies but yet lack will but also lacking knowing what I want to try. I'm lost with my freetime, it's all bleek and I want to fill my life with pastion. I still love videogames, always will but I need more then just gaming, I want more then gaming. I just want something, anything. I don't want to have such a lack of interest, God I fucking hate my life.
I have no future career goals: I'm sixteen and have no idea on what I want to do as an adult, some may say thats okay but it's not, not for me at least. I want to have a goal in the adult world, and even if that goal led to a path I don't like then I can always go down another path. Despite having no idea on what to do I at least know I don't want to be in an office. I could handle an office job, and be content with an office job but an office job isn't me, it isn't what sounds interesting, I would likely do blue collar or be my own boss. Some jobs I've considered and would do still are: police, SWAT police, house flipper, 911 operator, port worker, mechanic or something tinkeassemble like, enterpuner my book, film and games ideas or, open a store or bar or something. These are some jobs I've considered in the past that I would still see myself doing, I have also pondered over military/reserve but not sure. My childhood dream career that I still have a desire for is SWAT but I don't think I have what it takes, in fact I don't think I have what it takes for anything. I think all my life is destined to is dying homeless on a street corner, it's all I'll ever be "worthless".
I had so much planned, now failed: At age fourteen I planned to by now have a license, a job, a banking account, start savings. I planned to lose weight, I planned to have an idea outside of school, I had a plan. But I'm just a worthless peice of shit and a failure to myself, I don't even have a permit, no job, no savings, still fat, have no idea about the future, I failed myself.
Fidgeting: I can't stop but want to, at school I can't help but twiral a pencil around. I do it all the time at school but been trying to stop, I hate doing it. Worst part is I'm being immated by worthless cunts by it which is annoying. I want to stop this.
Masterbation addiction: I have a severe and low life addiction to masterbation. I do it at least once a day and sometimes mutiple times a day. The longest I was ever able to refrain was just a little over a week and only failed because I got bored. I need to jerk it to be able to sleep unless I'm desperately tired but even then. Also since I "need" it to sleep I regulary soil my sweatpants then sleep in it which is nasty. I can't control this vice, this low appetite and I'm deeply unhappy about it. Also unhappy that I might be ruining my endurence, a bit TMI but just another reason why this is harmful. I want to refrain or atleast drasticly cut out this pratice and fix myself.
I likely have more issues eating me inside as I waste away as a shell of a person but I can't really think of them. I am told my mom is looking into thearpy so that might be nice. Please just help me, I'm so lost and broken, I sometimes consider just ending it all but I just hope it can get good.
submitted by AlexandertheIght to selfimprovement [link] [comments]
I feel stupid: I honestly feel braindead, I hate my mind so much. Sometimes it's hard to think or do, sometimes I can't think or do. My mind is so numb, everything about my mind just feels wrong and dead. My mind has felt dead for a year or two now and I just wish it was alive, I want my mind to be normol, I want it to actually work. I also want confidence in my mind, any failure or lack of underatanding makes me defeated and feeling like a dunce. Anything I can do I say was just luck or something anyone should know. I don't know if I'm stupid or not but dam I feel like I am the dumbest in a room. I would give it all to be intelliegent, I wish I was smart, well read, well informed, well versed. I so desperately want to know, so desperately want to be smart. I wish I could understand stuff. I just want to be smart and have a bright alive mind, but my mind is so dead and desolate and compared to the rest worthless. I hit myself in my head whenever I'm mistaken or just feel so stupid, and I honestly deserve it. If I were to kill myself my mind being numb and stupid would be the reason or a big reason why, I just want to be smart. You can likely tell just how much of an idiot I am by reading this via grammer, spelling, complaints. That "likely" was meant to be "probaboly" but I'm just stupid and worthless to spell. If there was just a way to be smart and not such a moron, I fucking hate my life.
I have body issues: I without doubt have body issues, the biggest of which is my weight. As of now I am 5,9 (1.7M) and 211lbs (95.7KG), I was 246lbs (111kg) to begin with and it was also my heaviest. Despite losing a good amount of weight I am not happy and have no pride, I'm still fat and thats all I see sadly. I don't want to be fat or skinny, I want to be muscular:big arms, built chest, flat stomach, no abs (don't like them) that sounds appealing, it's what I want. Unfourtunely I as of now can't work to this goal, I don't have money for a gym or equipment, famliy funds can't do it ethier and awhile ago I turned down a weight bench since I wasn't confident, now I regret that choice. I hate being fat so much, and this deep hatred and desperation has led to a embarassing cycle, for two years now I have been downloading images of muscular bodies. They're all drawings or from videogames since I'm to embarresed to have real images and as mentioned it's a cycle, Download and store -> have them and look at them for awhile -> get ashamed of myself -> purge it all -> regret -> repeat. Like stated this has been going for two years and as of now I have ten different images. Apart from weight I also have some other physical insecurites, acne being a big one. I been suffering from acne for years, fifth grade, early sixth grade is when it started so five years of this. It mostly effects my chin and cheeks badly but also effects more of my face, sometimes the acne hurts and it often even bleeds. I hate touching my face and feeling grime and ripping off a bunch of skin and dried shit. I wash every night and try to be frequent with morning witch-hazel but it dosen't relent. I also hate it when it gets mentioned, it is irratating to be reminded and noticed and nobody points it out more then my own mom who also cliams it would go if I just washed. I do, I fucking do! It's not working and you don't understand that! I also have body acne I don't know how to fix, I like sleeping shirtless which I know is the reason, also inconsistent with bedding which isn't right. Even if I did wash sheets weekly it wouldn't be enough, I would still get acne on my body. I just want to sleep shirtless and not get acne, I wish I could find a way. Another insecurite but not really is my height, I don't mind being 5'9/5'10 I mean it's about average height and I beat out my 5'4 father. But I'm sixteen which mean I still have possibilty to get taller and I wonder, will I? If I do, just how tall? Could I reach 6'0+? All of this speculation makes me a bit insecure, also with being fat I look short and round in the mirror which is defeating. I'm secure besides speculation and weight but at the same time I truly want to be taller, I think any man tall or short wishes they were taller, I wish I could break 6'0 that would be cool (to me). But I don't think that will ever happen, my dad is 5'4, my mom is 5'6 I made it 5'9/5'10 and my chart is stagnating, should just stop thinking I'll get taller. Another phsyical insecurite and likely the last one I'll mention unless I think of another worthwhile one is my hair, I'm insecurie of my hairstyle. Or lack of hairstyle, my mom says I have independence in this choice but whenever I make a choice she complains about it. Any agreement is one sided or changed up a little so she likes it. I have always hated my hairstyles over the years, even now and as of now it's ethier her way or a unorgainzied thick mess that will soon be her way. I hate it, wish I could make my own "independent" choice, even if I could my mom would likely hate it and always bring it up which is something I don't want to deal with. My mom is more for short cuts and fades etc, I hate fades and while I do admire short hair have always taken liking to shagger and longer styles, more rugged style. I have also always liked long hair and even wanted it. I used to openly want long hair for a long time but my mom opposed, I tried to convince her but she was opposed. She wasn't only opposed to it she made sure to express that it was gay and feminine etc, etc. She made me close off and forgot the desire but even now she won't let go. She is so sure to tell everyone: famliy, her friends, the hairdresser, hell maybe even strangers, she tells everyone about how much I wanted it and what she thought of it etc. Often I have been embarresed like this while I was right there, I have expressed that this embarreses me and want it to stop mutiple times yet she'll continue almost as if it's purposeful, she will also bring up an old friend T who had long hair as an example of it looking bad. But he didn't take care of it or do anything, most he would do is give into his moms begging and have her brush it. If I had long hair I would actually take care of it and do stuff to it! She also claims I got the idea from him, but no I liked it since elementary being inspired by personal inkling and rock. I no longer want hair but am starting to find styles I really like, but first I need to get my mom to fuck off. And second I would want to grow a beard, which is another issue of mine. I'm sixteen I shouldn't expect a full beard but I have seen peers with actual good facial hair, patchy beards, five o'clocks, some actually have a beard. Then there is me, with some sideburns and a bunch of peachfuzz, I want to be able to grow a beard and the peachfuzz plus sideburns bother me, I want it to actually devlop, I want a beard. I am also worried about devlopment, worried acne will hurt or even stop growth. I'm upset about my lack of growth though I definetly have unrealistic expectations. Lastly with hair is my chest hair, I'm quite hairy and I like it. And I have chest hair but barely and I just wish I had more over a greater coverage, more of a funny insecurite, lol. One more insecurity I forgot about is my voice. I'm loud when talking and my voice isn't as deep as I wish so that sucks.
(copy and paste from older write) I wish I had a father: I don't have a father or any form of father figure, I'm fatherless and it hurts a lot. My father has been out of my life since I was elevenish/twelveish (the peak of covid passed), we kicked him out because he is and was a meth addict in and out of the jail. He was a fuctioning addict so not violent and not as obvious of an addict but the meth still took him over. My mother says she kept him around and gave him so many chances because she wanted him to be in my life as a father. But he was no father when he was around, he didn't parent me, he didn't play his role as a father and guide as a masculine role model, hell he likely didn't even truly care for me. My only memories of him really are going to McDonold's with him, after which he dumpster dived behind the plaza as I begged for us to go back home. Or me wanting to bond with him so he sets up the brilliant idea of dragging me around with his skechy friends, to skechy places, even at skechy times. I don't understand why I knew sooner, guess I was a stupid basterd but I started picking up that my dad was a bad person around fifth grade. By then I quickly found out more and more and tenstion was growing, by eleven we we're going to kick him out but covid struck it's height and our household seemed palpable. But very quickly we said fuck it and threw him to the curb, we weren't going to have it no longer. Soon after around thirteen I was happy that he was gone but slightly disappointed that I no longer had a father (even if he was useless) and I hoped my mom would find someone, not only for herself but for me. By fourteen this really layed in heavy on me and the lack of a father really bummed me out, I got really stupid and desperate using bitlife to create guys then add me and my mom in to create step father famlies even adding step siblings and shit. By late fourteen it was made clear to me by my mom that "we don't need no man" and that she was done with dating. I very well do need a father figure, every child needs one. Hell I as a guy truly need(ed) one, there are so many lessons and things that come from a fatheson relationship that are crucial to a boy and I missed out on them. Hell even when my dad was around I missed out on lessons, I still remember he was tasked to teach me how to tie my shoes but got mad at me struggling and walked away. He refused to help afterward and I refused to try and never to this day learned the proper way to tie, instead I have my own far less efficent method. I missed out on so much by not having a father and it hurts to know that and I just wish I had the knowledge, without a masculine role model I have definetly missed out what it is to be a man and likely am even a loser of a man. I just want a father so badly, I want what a father provides so badly, I want the bond that it comes with. I wish I just had a guy to talk to and bond with, I want a dad just so badly. I wish I had someone who taught me how to change a tire or fish and all that shit, but I'll never have it and it angers me, I am angry to be fatherless, I am angry and lost without a father figure, and I'm jealous. I kind of want to have children when the time comes, I wonder if I'll fail them as well.
Friends: Growing up I was always a bit introverted, I think it was of my nature but was amplafied by life. In elementary I often acquainted myself with people never having any close friends outside my after school program. Jumping to middle school I had a good friend-group but it turned out my good friend T was really an ass and I was pushed out by him in early nineth grade. Later in nineth I met my good friend, my best friend M. This year in tenth I was introduced to a friend named D by M. These are my only two friends and I'm happy with them, though there are a few issues. Not anything major but just a few things, like how we never do anything outside of school. The only thing I really miss about my old friendgroup is that we actually did shit: springs, houses, events, parks, attractions, food. Now me, M and, D don't and have never done anything outside of school and the computer. M likely couldn't do anything because of his famliy and D just seems completely disinterested and worried about money. But I wish we could really do something, sure videogames are fun but it would be fun if we could just goof off somewhere, be stupid. This is really the only general "issue" apart from that no major strain or issue in the friendgroup. But I do have a few personal grievences, starting with D. I think D has a darker side of him, he seems to not respect or care for me and will sometimes show it in nasty ways. He had told both me and M to kill ourselves, he attacks insecurites, he says rude shit, etc. Also with D, we have never truly connected, never gotten to know each other personally. Without M we would be mere acquaintance, M is the only reason why me and D are friends and being alone with each other is mostly silence and maybe him showing me a TikTok. Then M, I have no personal issues with M only small factors of our friendship I'm upset or worried about. Starting off with is school, halfway through this year (tenth) M started a FLVS-hybrid. I am happy for him and it's something we both expressed wanting but now I never really see him. I could see him at lunch but he dosen't really come in and only other time I can see him is leaving campus. I ethier catch him and barely have a conversation worthwhile or he's to far ahead and I got to give up trying to reach him. The only way to talk to my best friend nowadays really is Discord, and that isn't even reliable since his parents are often controlling the WI-FI or taking his stuff away. This means when I do talk to my friend it can suddenly be ended as he disconnects or I can't even. This sucks, it feels like I can't even talk to my best friend that much. But that isn't all, because I'm worried for my friend M. His parents don't sound the best from all he's told me, I won't share his issues but just as an example he didn't have a bedroom for two months. Hearing what we gose through is alreadly dishearting but something that I worry deeply about is him talking sucide. He has talked and half joked about it several times and it's worry, I been trying to discourage but he continues with it so now I'm just trying to ignore it. That is likely the wrong way of handling it but I just don't know what to do. I hope it's always bluff and he moves out and moves on with he can, I don't want him to kill himself.
I'm lonely: I'm sixteen but I'm lonely. I am the only one of my friends who hasn't had a relationship, I am not the most worried about that, I don't want to date just to date, I want to date to love. But hell I still wish I had a relationship, even just a sterotypical high-school one. But what I truly want is true love, I want a woman I love with all my heart and a woman who loves me with all of hers, I want a woman to provide for, to protect, to matter to. I want to marry and possibly have kids. I want to love someone, be there for someone. But will I ever even have that? I'm alreadly a loser who no woman would want and even then from what I've heard, "modren dating is terrible" so what chance do I even have? Will I ever have someone to love? I hope.
School: School makes me so misereble and dead, this place makes me genuinely want to off myself I hate it so much. And it seems to revolve around my whole life, even at home it's all my mom wants to bring up. I just need a break from it all but it seems like it's the only thing in my life, I don't really have anything else. I failed my nineth grade year, I failed since I'm a stupid, worthless peice of shit. But they "passed" me onto tenth, gave me tenth grade classes, test, etc but say I'm still nineth, tell me do nineth grade "remedation" online. Now I'm failing like a worthless peice of shit once again! I wish they held me back to try again but they didn't they just pushed me on, still likely would've failed like a worthless bitch but I could have had a chance. I fucking hate myself I'm so stupid and I hate my school for pushing my stupid ass onward and onward, I should just kill myself at this point. And when I try to reach out to my counselor in any hope for some chance of help the piss poor communcation at this school means it'll take days for a response, I can't even get reliable help over school. Back in middle school I had a GPA in the high 3s, I made honor roll every other quater or so, I had high grades and sucess. But in high-school, in nineth grade I failed with straight Fs and got a GPA of 0.7, now in tenth I have a 1.7 and sometimes get high grades but mostly fail. I just wish I wasn't so stupid, I just wish I was smart and successful at school. But I'm not, I'm a fucking idiot and an embarssment at school. And maybe it would all be okay if it wasn't for the assholes I am surrounded by, my fellow peers of this overcrowded hell hole. Just seems like I can never catch a break with having to deal with people. I just want to be left alone but they're is just always somebody wanting to bother me, harass me. Can sit at a desk then have a bunch of cunts around me, harass me, call me burgundy because of my shirt. Can sit down and be snickered at by the guys in front of me for whatever reason. Sit down and have paper, pencils, even ice hitting me. Sit down and have some imbecible pull up a chair and use my desk as his and block me in my seat because fuck me, am I right? Just want to be left alone but never am, nobody ever dose it's always something. I can't even get respect, not a single bit, just always mistreated. Hell just the other day when I was given my packet I was also mistakenly given the packet of a nearby girl, I get her attention and hand it to her and she just snaches it and mumbles something, because I can't even be respected, I'm worthless. And even when I'm not being directly bothered I got to deal with slow walkers, idiots who don't know how to inconvience everyone else in the halls, the over crowded school. It all fucking sucks I hate it all, everyday I think I'm on the verge of snapping but somehow just have more patience, I don't know how much more of this shit I can or have to endure. At least my mom finally reconsidered my old forgotten pleads for online school and reopened the idea, maybe by some miracle online school will save me and "help me get caught up and ahead" but I doubt it, I'm an idiot who deserves to die. Why am I so fucking stupid, why am I like this? Why must I exist this way?
No hobbies or interest: I used to love a lot of things: reading, history, coming up with things in my head, videogames and, anything really. Now I have grown apathic to it all except videogames and even that dosen't bring much joy. I want to have my old hobbies back but lack the will to return. And I want new hobbies but yet lack will but also lacking knowing what I want to try. I'm lost with my freetime, it's all bleek and I want to fill my life with pastion. I still love videogames, always will but I need more then just gaming, I want more then gaming. I just want something, anything. I don't want to have such a lack of interest, God I fucking hate my life.
I have no future career goals: I'm sixteen and have no idea on what I want to do as an adult, some may say thats okay but it's not, not for me at least. I want to have a goal in the adult world, and even if that goal led to a path I don't like then I can always go down another path. Despite having no idea on what to do I at least know I don't want to be in an office. I could handle an office job, and be content with an office job but an office job isn't me, it isn't what sounds interesting, I would likely do blue collar or be my own boss. Some jobs I've considered and would do still are: police, SWAT police, house flipper, 911 operator, port worker, mechanic or something tinkeassemble like, enterpuner my book, film and games ideas or, open a store or bar or something. These are some jobs I've considered in the past that I would still see myself doing, I have also pondered over military/reserve but not sure. My childhood dream career that I still have a desire for is SWAT but I don't think I have what it takes, in fact I don't think I have what it takes for anything. I think all my life is destined to is dying homeless on a street corner, it's all I'll ever be "worthless".
I had so much planned, now failed: At age fourteen I planned to by now have a license, a job, a banking account, start savings. I planned to lose weight, I planned to have an idea outside of school, I had a plan. But I'm just a worthless peice of shit and a failure to myself, I don't even have a permit, no job, no savings, still fat, have no idea about the future, I failed myself.
Fidgeting: I can't stop but want to, at school I can't help but twiral a pencil around. I do it all the time at school but been trying to stop, I hate doing it. Worst part is I'm being immated by worthless cunts by it which is annoying. I want to stop this.
Masterbation addiction: I have a severe and low life addiction to masterbation. I do it at least once a day and sometimes mutiple times a day. The longest I was ever able to refrain was just a little over a week and only failed because I got bored. I need to jerk it to be able to sleep unless I'm desperately tired but even then. Also since I "need" it to sleep I regulary soil my sweatpants then sleep in it which is nasty. I can't control this vice, this low appetite and I'm deeply unhappy about it. Also unhappy that I might be ruining my endurence, a bit TMI but just another reason why this is harmful. I want to refrain or atleast drasticly cut out this pratice and fix myself.
I likely have more issues eating me inside as I waste away as a shell of a person but I can't really think of them. I am told my mom is looking into thearpy so that might be nice. Please just help me, I'm so lost and broken, I sometimes consider just ending it all but I just hope it can get good.
2024.05.14 01:09 ChanceQuiet795 My cat hates my new kitten
So, I have four cats. For about three years, the only one I had was my oldest. And then came the three new ones, one by one. In 2019 I adopted my second one, in 2021 my third one. I noticed that when that happened, my oldest cat got more grumpy, probably because she wasn’t used to share the attention. But she didn’t hate the other ones, they get along pretty well. Until last year, I adopted a kitten. But my oldest cat hates him with a passion. I don’t know why…the kitten is very playful and energetic, but whenever he goes near my oldest cat, she hisses, growls and hits him. She doesn’t hate the other ones…and it’s been months since I got my kitten but she won’t like him no matter what I do. I don’t know what to do, I really want them to get along and I feel bad for both of them. :(
submitted by ChanceQuiet795 to CatAdvice [link] [comments]
2024.05.14 01:09 SporksOfTheWorld Non-range practice systems
First time OP here, hope I don’t sound like too much of a noob, but I’m trying to make sense of all the choices for non-range practice. I’m very new to CCW, have not even carried publically yet (and TBH not sure I’m going to). Main objective is home defense (wife and I had an attempted breakin a couple of years ago). We have a Mossburg 12 gauge, I’ve got a Canik TP9SFX, she’s got a Browning 1911 in 380ACP. There’s also a Browning Buckmark 22 in the mix. None of these are ideal but we took what we could get mid-lockdown. All are open to upgrade or replace.
Anyway, I’m quite aware of my need to practice more. I get to the range maybe once a month for an hour to shoot the 22, 9 and 12g. She comes along when time permits. Both of us are working professionals out of the home. No little kids…a 12, 15, 17, 19, 21 and 35 y.o. who are with us part time (we’re both parents and grandparents so some are some in college and visit, some stay with us a couple nights a week).
We’d like to invest in a non-range system to get more practice of fundamentals in, while nailing down the logistics of a solid plan. We’re a bit baffled by all the different offerings on the market, as well as the different offerings within brands. Like the Mantis products, seems there are at least three different systems they offer and it’s not clear to me which would be appropriate. And there are several other systems out there. How to choose?😀
Feel free to just point me at an existing resource for knowledge if you know of one. TIA
submitted by SporksOfTheWorld to CCW [link] [comments]
Anyway, I’m quite aware of my need to practice more. I get to the range maybe once a month for an hour to shoot the 22, 9 and 12g. She comes along when time permits. Both of us are working professionals out of the home. No little kids…a 12, 15, 17, 19, 21 and 35 y.o. who are with us part time (we’re both parents and grandparents so some are some in college and visit, some stay with us a couple nights a week).
We’d like to invest in a non-range system to get more practice of fundamentals in, while nailing down the logistics of a solid plan. We’re a bit baffled by all the different offerings on the market, as well as the different offerings within brands. Like the Mantis products, seems there are at least three different systems they offer and it’s not clear to me which would be appropriate. And there are several other systems out there. How to choose?😀
Feel free to just point me at an existing resource for knowledge if you know of one. TIA
2024.05.14 01:08 tayrock38 Frustrated because lack of job training
I started my new job on Monday. I have two managers (front desk & general manager). I work for a hotel as a Receptionist. On my first day the boss showed me some of the tasks I would be doing but she didn’t show me the majority of my tasks and she didn’t show me the basics like giving a tour or showing me where things are. The next day she showed me the basics of the program that I use to log guest in. The program is complex and the only way you would know how to use it, if you were taught it. It’s not simple. Third day, the front manager takes off and she takes off for the next day too. The other manager wasn’t on the property that day and I was scheduled to work that day alone. It was an absolute shit show, some many guests were annoyed and I totally understand why. Everyone was waiting because I didn’t know how to use the system and other co workers from different departments had to help me. It’s frustrating when I don’t know what to do and customers are getting frustrated and complaining. One customer reported me because she was frustrated, I understood. It’s very frustrating to me because I told her I was new, but she didn’t care. It doesn’t help that the hotel is short staffed. The front desk manager got fired the following day because she didn’t complete her job duties. Currently I’m still waiting to be trained by the general manager and it doesn’t help that she is barely in the building when I’m working. It’s so frustrating especially when I’m by myself and I’m learning as I make mistakes. I look so bad in front of the customers and I hate that they are annoyed with me. I wish I could be able to learn the system on my own and help customers seamlessly. Even some employees give me an attitude when I ask a question even though they know I’m new. I’m over this job and I’m looking for a new one. I don’t understand why some companies don’t train and they just want you to get it. I will talk to my boss about this tomorrow, I’m tired of looking bad in front of customers!
submitted by tayrock38 to jobs [link] [comments]
2024.05.14 01:07 AlpineMess7 Job Redundancy Right After Relocating.
Good morning everyone,
My spouse and I relocated to New Zealand recently for a position in a government organization. Neither of us have NZ citizenship or residency. They were given a position that started three months ago. However, the organization is undergoing restructuring, and as one of several very recent people, it appears that they are at high risk for being made redundant. Particularly, they’re basing redundancy on the number of hours spent doing a certain task. As a new employee, my spouse did not have the chance to do this task to any significant degree. Now, after spending thousands coming here and furnishing our house, we risk everything and not being able to stay here. Additionally, while we were given reimbursements to move our belongings here, we don’t have the savings to move those belongings out of the country. We have barely enough savings to leave the country, due to the costs of getting here and the extremely high rent. Currently, there’s a period of time allowed for addressing feedback, but it’s obvious the job won’t be retained. After that, we likely have one month of salary, and that’s it. This was a permanent position originally. The organization is not being dismantled or merged with another. It’s simply than a number of positions are being made redundant. The contract has information on the redundancies, but we’re not sure if this being a recently acquired job changes things?
What I’m looking for is if there’s any legal remedy to strengthening our position to prevent being made redundant? Or at least to secure compensation for the job being made redundant right after relocating? We’re not looking for handouts or unfair compensation- we simply want a remedy for this situation that doesn’t destroy us financially. Any help and advice is appreciated. Thank you.
Supplemental: This is a new account because I prefer not being doxxed on my main account. This information is for the mods. If I need proof this is real, I’m willing to supply the information. Thank you.
submitted by AlpineMess7 to LegalAdviceNZ [link] [comments]
My spouse and I relocated to New Zealand recently for a position in a government organization. Neither of us have NZ citizenship or residency. They were given a position that started three months ago. However, the organization is undergoing restructuring, and as one of several very recent people, it appears that they are at high risk for being made redundant. Particularly, they’re basing redundancy on the number of hours spent doing a certain task. As a new employee, my spouse did not have the chance to do this task to any significant degree. Now, after spending thousands coming here and furnishing our house, we risk everything and not being able to stay here. Additionally, while we were given reimbursements to move our belongings here, we don’t have the savings to move those belongings out of the country. We have barely enough savings to leave the country, due to the costs of getting here and the extremely high rent. Currently, there’s a period of time allowed for addressing feedback, but it’s obvious the job won’t be retained. After that, we likely have one month of salary, and that’s it. This was a permanent position originally. The organization is not being dismantled or merged with another. It’s simply than a number of positions are being made redundant. The contract has information on the redundancies, but we’re not sure if this being a recently acquired job changes things?
What I’m looking for is if there’s any legal remedy to strengthening our position to prevent being made redundant? Or at least to secure compensation for the job being made redundant right after relocating? We’re not looking for handouts or unfair compensation- we simply want a remedy for this situation that doesn’t destroy us financially. Any help and advice is appreciated. Thank you.
Supplemental: This is a new account because I prefer not being doxxed on my main account. This information is for the mods. If I need proof this is real, I’m willing to supply the information. Thank you.
2024.05.14 01:07 8angela8 I need your opinion
I started Invisalign last year, my dentist did not follow the Invisalign plan that said to shave my teeth on tray 1-4 (out of 24) she failed to do so, said she’d do it on a later appointment ( about the 18th tray ) After seeing a completely rotated tooth that sunk deep into my gum, but left the practice midway through treatment before that appointment so I began seeing the new dentist at the same practice, I informed her of what was said but she insisted we wait. On my final appointment for refinements I asked about my teeth being shaved again to the dental hygienist, she acted surprised left the room and came back asked me if the original doctor shaved my teeth, I said “no, I’ve never had anything shaved, I asked the new doctor several times if she would do it?” She left the room and came back 45 minutes later with the doctor, they said they’d issue me a refund and essentially said “sometimes Invisalign doesn’t work, you need braces” I said to address what ? And she said to address that tooth, I said but I didn’t have my tooth like that until I used Invisalign.
I saw an orthodontist today, they said I need braces, carrier treatment AND angel aligners with treatment costing over $5000 and taking over 24 months, I’m SO angry and depressed. They created a problem I never had before, they are essentially scapegoating the original doctor and accepting no blame, the orthodontist said she’s never seen anything like this.
To complicate things even more, I have a car accident lawsuit pending ( brain injury ) that’s dragging because I’m still in treatment. I don’t have $5000, even with the refund I’m behind over $1000.
I’ve called Invisalign, they can’t help me. I’ve called the dental practice office manager, they are no help. I’ve called the dental practice corporate office and they said they’ll get back to me with in a few days.
What route do I take? Should I contact my states dental board ?
submitted by 8angela8 to legal [link] [comments]
I saw an orthodontist today, they said I need braces, carrier treatment AND angel aligners with treatment costing over $5000 and taking over 24 months, I’m SO angry and depressed. They created a problem I never had before, they are essentially scapegoating the original doctor and accepting no blame, the orthodontist said she’s never seen anything like this.
To complicate things even more, I have a car accident lawsuit pending ( brain injury ) that’s dragging because I’m still in treatment. I don’t have $5000, even with the refund I’m behind over $1000.
I’ve called Invisalign, they can’t help me. I’ve called the dental practice office manager, they are no help. I’ve called the dental practice corporate office and they said they’ll get back to me with in a few days.
What route do I take? Should I contact my states dental board ?
2024.05.14 01:07 ewk History lesson: 60's era debunked claims about Taoism, Meditation, Buddhism
Before the pill, before the internet, before the cell phone, lots of misinformation about Asian history and culture circulated in books written by people who were not qualified.
Over the last 60 years, most of the assumptions and beliefs Zen have been debunked, although to people who don't go to college and don't read modern scholarship, it's still like the 1960s never ended.
Just as there are still books being published today about alien visitation and Jesus riding a dinosaur, there are plenty of opportunities for people to be misinformed. There are even books you can buy that describe how Trump won in 2020 and has been in charge of the deep state for the last 4 years.
But these books don't offer fact and arguments that can be repeated in the public square in anything like a coherent and compelling dialogue.
People who have read the Taoist Canon don't think so: www.reddit.com/zen/wiki/taoism. Taoism resembles Hinduism and Catholicism, none of which bear any resemblance to Zen.
Patriarch's Hall, a recently rediscovered text from 900ce, illustrates how aggressively is and rejected Buddhist meditation. www.reddit.com/zen/wiki/notmeditation
Additionally,, scholarship from Stanford proved that zazen was invented in Japan by a Tientai Buddhist priest and was not ever a Zen practice. www.reddit.com/zen/wiki/secular_dogen
8FP Buddhism is very much a religion that promises people supernatural rewards in exchange for compliant behavior. The 8FP is the means to those supernatural rewards.
Zen Masters never taught the eightfold path and instead taught the four statements of Zen (found in the sidebar). Scholarship on the four statements was entirely unknown in the 1960s, as Japanese Buddhists steered a curious West away from Chinese historical sources and towards modern religious apologetics that a nearly illiterate Western academia embraced too quickly.
The last 30 years of scholarship, clearly the translation of a wide variety of texts, has not only severed Zen from Buddhism.www.reddit.com/zen/wiki/getstarted but has raised very serious questions about what it is that makes Buddhism essentially Buddhist www.reddit.com/zen/wiki/Buddhism
Many of the '60s era sources were linked inextricably to Nazi era thinkers, sex predators, people with drug and alcohol addiction, and religious frauds from Buddhist churches (Christian churches aren't the only unreliable churches).
The tragic part of all this is that people who might be interested in Zen never get the chance to study it, because they encounter neo-christian meditation worship and get turned off by the whole topic.
And who can blame them?
submitted by ewk to zen [link] [comments]
Over the last 60 years, most of the assumptions and beliefs Zen have been debunked, although to people who don't go to college and don't read modern scholarship, it's still like the 1960s never ended.
Just as there are still books being published today about alien visitation and Jesus riding a dinosaur, there are plenty of opportunities for people to be misinformed. There are even books you can buy that describe how Trump won in 2020 and has been in charge of the deep state for the last 4 years.
But these books don't offer fact and arguments that can be repeated in the public square in anything like a coherent and compelling dialogue.
Zen not related to taoism
For people who haven't read a book of instruction written by a zen master but read a popular translation of Te Tao Ching (the more accurately translated title), it can be easy to believe the opinion from the 1960s that Zen was related to taoism.People who have read the Taoist Canon don't think so: www.reddit.com/zen/wiki/taoism. Taoism resembles Hinduism and Catholicism, none of which bear any resemblance to Zen.
Zen rejects meditation
There is no doctrinal connection between Zen, the sudden realization of enlightenment, and any of the many Buddhist and quasi- Buddhist meditation practices like Zazen-Shikantaza, breath counting, or mind-stopping. Meditation requires faith in Messianic doctrine of a "fallen" nature, revealed practice, and a state to be achieved, all of which are incompatible with Zen study and practice.Patriarch's Hall, a recently rediscovered text from 900ce, illustrates how aggressively is and rejected Buddhist meditation. www.reddit.com/zen/wiki/notmeditation
Additionally,, scholarship from Stanford proved that zazen was invented in Japan by a Tientai Buddhist priest and was not ever a Zen practice. www.reddit.com/zen/wiki/secular_dogen
Zen is not and never was a branch of Buddhism
The 1960s and '70s saw Zen only through the lens of Japanese Buddhist claims about a tradition that wasn't Japanese originally, and wasn't Buddhist originally.8FP Buddhism is very much a religion that promises people supernatural rewards in exchange for compliant behavior. The 8FP is the means to those supernatural rewards.
Zen Masters never taught the eightfold path and instead taught the four statements of Zen (found in the sidebar). Scholarship on the four statements was entirely unknown in the 1960s, as Japanese Buddhists steered a curious West away from Chinese historical sources and towards modern religious apologetics that a nearly illiterate Western academia embraced too quickly.
The last 30 years of scholarship, clearly the translation of a wide variety of texts, has not only severed Zen from Buddhism.www.reddit.com/zen/wiki/getstarted but has raised very serious questions about what it is that makes Buddhism essentially Buddhist www.reddit.com/zen/wiki/Buddhism
60's as a primary sources for Neo-Christian new agers
Just as there are still people who say Jesus road a dinosaur to work, the internet will still provide havens for people who didn't graduate college, did not study comparative religion or philosophy, and don't practice anything like Zen's commitment to the five lay precepts and public interview.Many of the '60s era sources were linked inextricably to Nazi era thinkers, sex predators, people with drug and alcohol addiction, and religious frauds from Buddhist churches (Christian churches aren't the only unreliable churches).
The tragic part of all this is that people who might be interested in Zen never get the chance to study it, because they encounter neo-christian meditation worship and get turned off by the whole topic.
And who can blame them?
2024.05.14 01:07 Smarty_gal Torn by this situation and need to vent
So my boyfriend and I just broke up. We dated for about 6 months and then things started to go weird. We went back and forth a bit but he ended up deciding he wanted to be single to figure out his own stuff and hopefully work on himself so he could be better in the relationship down the road.
A week post break my old ex boyfriend reached out to me out of nowhere and basically said he misses me and still wants to be with me. Me and this ex have a lot of history we dated on and off for almost 4 years, lived together, did long distance, etc. he would be considered the avoidant type that struggle with commitment when to much started to go on in life. He says now he’s ready for it but idk if I entirely believe him. Actions speak louder than words.
My problem now is I could see myself being with either of these guys. My most recent ex is the kind of man who does want a future in the same way I do and we have lots in common. He has a good heart and he hasn’t burned a bridge with me a million times. But he’s also not with me right now lol. The older ex is much different then me but we share this insane connection I’ve never had with someone else, I know he wants the same future as me but idk if he’s really ready for it. I feel like I love both of these men and I don’t know what to do. (My older ex knows about the new guy and that we recently broke up - he didn’t know that when he contacted me though, he told me he wants me to be with the other guy if that’s what’s going to make me happy because he knows he had his chances, but if it doesn’t work out he says he’s waiting for me)
I’m just so overwhelmed and confused and I don’t even know who to talk to about it because I know my friends and family will think I’m crazy. I know they would tell me to find someone else and ditch both of them because maybe they both aren’t ready but it’s hard to ignore both these wonderful people. Granted right now my recent ex doesn’t want to be in a relationship but the other guy doesn’t even live here at the moment so I’m not sure I’m even supposed to do anything about it. I just don’t understand what the universe is trying to teach me by doing this 😭
submitted by Smarty_gal to BreakUps [link] [comments]
A week post break my old ex boyfriend reached out to me out of nowhere and basically said he misses me and still wants to be with me. Me and this ex have a lot of history we dated on and off for almost 4 years, lived together, did long distance, etc. he would be considered the avoidant type that struggle with commitment when to much started to go on in life. He says now he’s ready for it but idk if I entirely believe him. Actions speak louder than words.
My problem now is I could see myself being with either of these guys. My most recent ex is the kind of man who does want a future in the same way I do and we have lots in common. He has a good heart and he hasn’t burned a bridge with me a million times. But he’s also not with me right now lol. The older ex is much different then me but we share this insane connection I’ve never had with someone else, I know he wants the same future as me but idk if he’s really ready for it. I feel like I love both of these men and I don’t know what to do. (My older ex knows about the new guy and that we recently broke up - he didn’t know that when he contacted me though, he told me he wants me to be with the other guy if that’s what’s going to make me happy because he knows he had his chances, but if it doesn’t work out he says he’s waiting for me)
I’m just so overwhelmed and confused and I don’t even know who to talk to about it because I know my friends and family will think I’m crazy. I know they would tell me to find someone else and ditch both of them because maybe they both aren’t ready but it’s hard to ignore both these wonderful people. Granted right now my recent ex doesn’t want to be in a relationship but the other guy doesn’t even live here at the moment so I’m not sure I’m even supposed to do anything about it. I just don’t understand what the universe is trying to teach me by doing this 😭
2024.05.14 01:06 BeefstewSA [SPOILERS] Final Fantasy VII Rebirth: A World Beyond Anger
https://planckstorytime.wordpress.com/ Hello! This is an essay analyzing the themes of FF7 Rebirth through a psychoanalytic lens, while also critiquing the execution of the game's writing. Moreover, it's a personal reflection on my journey with the game, and the complicated feelings that got tangled up with that. Please give it a read if you have the chance.
Previous articles: FF7: Reflections of a Traumatized Generation (2020)
I Need to Talk about Final Fantasy VII Remake or My Head Will Explode (2021)
Excerpt: “A confluence of worlds… and emotions. Loss, chief among them. It engulfs fleeting moments of joy, transforming them into rage, sadness, hatred.”
– Sephiroth, Final Fantasy VII Rebirth (2024), speaking to me, specifically
*The following contains spoilers*
I. Memoirs of a Neurotic Fan
Hoo boy.
It’s been a long four years since Final Fantasy VII Remake (2020) released, and I don’t think I have ever before devoted so much emotional energy to deciphering how I truly feel about a piece of media. Initially, I enjoyed my return to a reimagined world of lovable characters, but unfavorable writing choices and a mind-boggling finale left me feeling torn. Despite striving to maintain an optimistic outlook at the end of my previous essay, my perspective on the game only darkened as the years wore on. Developer interviews constantly oscillated back and forth as to whether they would remain faithful to the original FF7 (1997), or, as the ending of Remake indicated, strike out on a brand new “unknown journey.” That’s not to mention the downright radioactive discourse among fans, combined with the litany of harassing messages I received for the most tepid criticisms.
Eventually, I grew to despise Remake. The positive emotions and ecstatic love I had for parts of the game sunk beneath my waves of ire toward its creative divergences – as well as what they represented to me. And I fed that hate. I hated its ponderous navel-gazing about the nature of adaptations. I hated its self-congratulatory insinuation that asinine story decisions like the “Baby’s-First-Metacommentary” Whispers and the resurrection of multiple deceased characters somehow constituted “bold” storytelling. I hated the uncritical portion of certain audiences that fell for this illusion of transgressive storytelling, all the while embracing a game that went out of its way to barrage the player with fanservice and puerile pandering. I hated the frequent argumentation that “it’s not a remake, it’s a sequel” was somehow seen as a mitigating factor, when it actually further aggravated my problems with it. I hated Remake’s emphasis on novelty, its subversion without meaning, its arrogant alienation of new audiences that wanted to experience a classic story, and its implicitly cynical view on thousands of years of storytelling tradition for the sake of “surprise.” To quote director Naoki Hamaguchi:
“When you try to remake a game and make it an entertaining game, having the exact storyline as the original would lack the excitement and surprise. I was looking for an essence to add to the story, and Zack was chosen to be this essence because in the original, there wasn’t much story about Zack, but in Crisis Core, he had a huge character development.”
But that lonely ember of hope persisted; after all, I had loved Remake at one point. I hated that stubborn attachment most of all. By the time Rebirth was fully unveiled, I wanted only one thing from it: to repulse me to my core, to be something so egregiously offensive to my sensibilities that I could never associate the project with anything positive again. “Perhaps if things get stupid enough,” I thought, “others will also see the emperor’s nakedness.” Pain and despair morphed into objects of desire for me. They were my keys to escaping these contradictory feelings of love and hate.
As you can see, I am quite well-adjusted and able to engage with art in a healthy way.
Continue Reading
submitted by BeefstewSA to ff7remake [link] [comments]
Previous articles: FF7: Reflections of a Traumatized Generation (2020)
I Need to Talk about Final Fantasy VII Remake or My Head Will Explode (2021)
Excerpt: “A confluence of worlds… and emotions. Loss, chief among them. It engulfs fleeting moments of joy, transforming them into rage, sadness, hatred.”
– Sephiroth, Final Fantasy VII Rebirth (2024), speaking to me, specifically
*The following contains spoilers*
I. Memoirs of a Neurotic Fan
Hoo boy.
It’s been a long four years since Final Fantasy VII Remake (2020) released, and I don’t think I have ever before devoted so much emotional energy to deciphering how I truly feel about a piece of media. Initially, I enjoyed my return to a reimagined world of lovable characters, but unfavorable writing choices and a mind-boggling finale left me feeling torn. Despite striving to maintain an optimistic outlook at the end of my previous essay, my perspective on the game only darkened as the years wore on. Developer interviews constantly oscillated back and forth as to whether they would remain faithful to the original FF7 (1997), or, as the ending of Remake indicated, strike out on a brand new “unknown journey.” That’s not to mention the downright radioactive discourse among fans, combined with the litany of harassing messages I received for the most tepid criticisms.
Eventually, I grew to despise Remake. The positive emotions and ecstatic love I had for parts of the game sunk beneath my waves of ire toward its creative divergences – as well as what they represented to me. And I fed that hate. I hated its ponderous navel-gazing about the nature of adaptations. I hated its self-congratulatory insinuation that asinine story decisions like the “Baby’s-First-Metacommentary” Whispers and the resurrection of multiple deceased characters somehow constituted “bold” storytelling. I hated the uncritical portion of certain audiences that fell for this illusion of transgressive storytelling, all the while embracing a game that went out of its way to barrage the player with fanservice and puerile pandering. I hated the frequent argumentation that “it’s not a remake, it’s a sequel” was somehow seen as a mitigating factor, when it actually further aggravated my problems with it. I hated Remake’s emphasis on novelty, its subversion without meaning, its arrogant alienation of new audiences that wanted to experience a classic story, and its implicitly cynical view on thousands of years of storytelling tradition for the sake of “surprise.” To quote director Naoki Hamaguchi:
“When you try to remake a game and make it an entertaining game, having the exact storyline as the original would lack the excitement and surprise. I was looking for an essence to add to the story, and Zack was chosen to be this essence because in the original, there wasn’t much story about Zack, but in Crisis Core, he had a huge character development.”
But that lonely ember of hope persisted; after all, I had loved Remake at one point. I hated that stubborn attachment most of all. By the time Rebirth was fully unveiled, I wanted only one thing from it: to repulse me to my core, to be something so egregiously offensive to my sensibilities that I could never associate the project with anything positive again. “Perhaps if things get stupid enough,” I thought, “others will also see the emperor’s nakedness.” Pain and despair morphed into objects of desire for me. They were my keys to escaping these contradictory feelings of love and hate.
As you can see, I am quite well-adjusted and able to engage with art in a healthy way.
Continue Reading
2024.05.14 01:06 Dimpz3 What do I do if I’m having explicit images shared of me via post?
I’m not sure if this is the right place for this, I’m new to Reddit and just wanted to see if there was any advice available since I seem to be hitting road blocks on every thing I seemed to have attempted.
I 30(F) was speaking to a man online for around 7yrs from Sweden, the relationship became sexual at some point and images were exchanged. He then decided to randomly cut off contact. Said he no longer wanted to speak and things were obviously not meant to be which I was totally understanding about, a week or so later I started receiving post to my family home with the explicit images that I had shared with him, to make it worse they were addressed to my father. He knows I come from a strict religious family and how many issues this could cause potentially endangering my life due to the honour aspect of it. I tried to catch these before anyone else did until he also started sending to my father’s workplace where I used to work and my previous colleagues viewing these images. My old boss is also a family friend who tried to hide it once he saw this guy had scrawled my name on the printed image due to him fearing for my life. He writes on each ‘I miss these or I miss you’ something along these lines and add different return addresses and names each time, only pays for them in cash. Though the post office he sends them from are around 5mins from his house each time. These have carried on for months and I’ve spoken to both UK and Swedish police, they have taken him in spoken to him, taken his electronics and even some evidence they found in his apartment. But apart from this it seems to be a waiting game as he continued to post even after he was taken into the police station, it has been passed to U.K. to conduct another statement for extra details since Swedish police are unable to do this over call/videocall. Ive tried to find lawyers or anyone who can help with any advice or anything further I can do but seem to come to dead ends with the U.K. side since they don’t have people specialising in Swedish law. I’m not sure what the next steps are and if I need someone to be with me for this statement or if there are any helplines available.
This has my life on pause where I’m afraid to leave my house before the post gets here or go into work unless I have paid to have post stopped each week. It’s had a massive impact on my mental health with me also having to take time off work and I’m unable to involve any family member or any friends around me due to the fear of judgement or being seen differently. Any advice would be welcome
submitted by Dimpz3 to SexualHarassment [link] [comments]
I 30(F) was speaking to a man online for around 7yrs from Sweden, the relationship became sexual at some point and images were exchanged. He then decided to randomly cut off contact. Said he no longer wanted to speak and things were obviously not meant to be which I was totally understanding about, a week or so later I started receiving post to my family home with the explicit images that I had shared with him, to make it worse they were addressed to my father. He knows I come from a strict religious family and how many issues this could cause potentially endangering my life due to the honour aspect of it. I tried to catch these before anyone else did until he also started sending to my father’s workplace where I used to work and my previous colleagues viewing these images. My old boss is also a family friend who tried to hide it once he saw this guy had scrawled my name on the printed image due to him fearing for my life. He writes on each ‘I miss these or I miss you’ something along these lines and add different return addresses and names each time, only pays for them in cash. Though the post office he sends them from are around 5mins from his house each time. These have carried on for months and I’ve spoken to both UK and Swedish police, they have taken him in spoken to him, taken his electronics and even some evidence they found in his apartment. But apart from this it seems to be a waiting game as he continued to post even after he was taken into the police station, it has been passed to U.K. to conduct another statement for extra details since Swedish police are unable to do this over call/videocall. Ive tried to find lawyers or anyone who can help with any advice or anything further I can do but seem to come to dead ends with the U.K. side since they don’t have people specialising in Swedish law. I’m not sure what the next steps are and if I need someone to be with me for this statement or if there are any helplines available.
This has my life on pause where I’m afraid to leave my house before the post gets here or go into work unless I have paid to have post stopped each week. It’s had a massive impact on my mental health with me also having to take time off work and I’m unable to involve any family member or any friends around me due to the fear of judgement or being seen differently. Any advice would be welcome
2024.05.14 01:06 These_Echo6385 Is this normal in a relationship ?
my boyfriend keeps being disrespectful towards me I (F22) been with my boyfriend (M21) for a year now and as of lately it’s been rocky. If you look at the second previous post on my profile this is not the first time something like this has occurred so let me describe what happened this time. So i’m at my boyfriend’s house and his mother was throwing a mother’s day party. When I came I bought his mom a beautiful flower bouquet and some balloons and heartfelt card and also a min cake. She loved it and went downstairs to chill. We’re down there for a good hour and a half and he’s cuddling/ laying on me. So this new ice spice song came on and I showed it to him. When I showed him the song I said that I personally didn’t like it and that she isn’t that great of an artist. He instantly started defending her which caused us to go into a full on debate on ice spice and other female artists who are more talented and don’t get the same recognition as her. It was like he was nearly brained washed trying to defend her. (He was laying fully down on the couch with his head on my upper legs and I had my hand on his chest)
He kept trying to debate with me on my person option until it got to the point of where I checked fully out of the conversation and stopped replying. This enraged him and he threw my arm away from him and a really rude way. After he did this it hurt my feelings so i moved my legs so that his head would be laying on the couch. After I moved his head he kept trying to forcefully make me put my leg back but i refused because of how rude he was acting and then I continued to be on tiktok like we were before this big debate started. Then he snatched my phone away from me (if you read the previous post he did this before but the last time he turned off the tv while i was watching it and as a result i picked up my phone which he snatched out my hand and went away with it )
This time I tried to remain unbothered and this went on for a while too. Mind you after he snatched my phone he picked up his phone and started playing it. So after acting unbothered i snatched my phone back from him and tried to get back to what we were doing before, which was being on our phones. After I got my phone back he said “well if you’re just going to be on your phone you might as well..” and I said “go home ?” and he said yea (I honestly thought he was joking and was going to say jk or something) but when I noticed he was serious I got up and collected my belongings and went upstairs he was leading me out (side note: his mom catered food for the party and I wasn’t hungry when I first got there so they told me to pack a to go plate for later which I did) As I get up stairs I grab my purse and say goodbye to everyone and that “(my boyfriend name) is running me out of here” in like a joking manner.
Then I circle back to grab the plate that I had made then he snatched the plate out of my hand and kept me walking out the door. As I was walking out I wished everyone a happy mother’s day again and hugged his mom (she was at the front door) and kept walking down the stairs and then his mom asked him “aren’t you going to walk her out ?” and and he said “no” and slammed the door. That absolutely crushed me, I couldn’t believe how hurtful he was being to me. So I just got into my car and as I was putting my seatbelt on he appeared saying that his mom “made him” walk me out and I replied “thanks” then he asked if i was mad at him to which i replied “no” (I just couldn’t believe he would even ask me this as if he couldn’t see how upset I was)
At this point im over the disrespect, the first time this happened we talked about it and he made a promise that he was going to work on it. I don’t know if it’s worth it anymore I don’t want to be with someone like that. He’s normally a very sweet and caring person idk why he has these sudden switches sometimes but it honestly is starting to take a toll on me.
I blocked him after I got home because of how upset he made me feel and he keeps reaching on different socials blaming me for the whole situation ! With a mix of saying he was sorry and that i am the rude one and that he doesn’t understand why im “doing all of this” im honestly tore between my feelings and my moral values :/ (This was a long story so I appreciated anyone who made it this far)
TLDR; i’m over my boyfriend’s constant disrespect towards me and not sure what i should do next
submitted by These_Echo6385 to relationships [link] [comments]
He kept trying to debate with me on my person option until it got to the point of where I checked fully out of the conversation and stopped replying. This enraged him and he threw my arm away from him and a really rude way. After he did this it hurt my feelings so i moved my legs so that his head would be laying on the couch. After I moved his head he kept trying to forcefully make me put my leg back but i refused because of how rude he was acting and then I continued to be on tiktok like we were before this big debate started. Then he snatched my phone away from me (if you read the previous post he did this before but the last time he turned off the tv while i was watching it and as a result i picked up my phone which he snatched out my hand and went away with it )
This time I tried to remain unbothered and this went on for a while too. Mind you after he snatched my phone he picked up his phone and started playing it. So after acting unbothered i snatched my phone back from him and tried to get back to what we were doing before, which was being on our phones. After I got my phone back he said “well if you’re just going to be on your phone you might as well..” and I said “go home ?” and he said yea (I honestly thought he was joking and was going to say jk or something) but when I noticed he was serious I got up and collected my belongings and went upstairs he was leading me out (side note: his mom catered food for the party and I wasn’t hungry when I first got there so they told me to pack a to go plate for later which I did) As I get up stairs I grab my purse and say goodbye to everyone and that “(my boyfriend name) is running me out of here” in like a joking manner.
Then I circle back to grab the plate that I had made then he snatched the plate out of my hand and kept me walking out the door. As I was walking out I wished everyone a happy mother’s day again and hugged his mom (she was at the front door) and kept walking down the stairs and then his mom asked him “aren’t you going to walk her out ?” and and he said “no” and slammed the door. That absolutely crushed me, I couldn’t believe how hurtful he was being to me. So I just got into my car and as I was putting my seatbelt on he appeared saying that his mom “made him” walk me out and I replied “thanks” then he asked if i was mad at him to which i replied “no” (I just couldn’t believe he would even ask me this as if he couldn’t see how upset I was)
At this point im over the disrespect, the first time this happened we talked about it and he made a promise that he was going to work on it. I don’t know if it’s worth it anymore I don’t want to be with someone like that. He’s normally a very sweet and caring person idk why he has these sudden switches sometimes but it honestly is starting to take a toll on me.
I blocked him after I got home because of how upset he made me feel and he keeps reaching on different socials blaming me for the whole situation ! With a mix of saying he was sorry and that i am the rude one and that he doesn’t understand why im “doing all of this” im honestly tore between my feelings and my moral values :/ (This was a long story so I appreciated anyone who made it this far)
TLDR; i’m over my boyfriend’s constant disrespect towards me and not sure what i should do next
2024.05.14 01:05 BeefstewSA [SPOILERS] Final Fantasy VII Rebirth - A World Beyond Anger
https://planckstorytime.wordpress.com/ Hello! This is an essay analyzing the themes of FF7 Rebirth through a psychoanalytic lens, while also critiquing the execution of the game's writing. Moreover, it's a personal reflection on my journey with the game, and the complicated feelings that got tangled up with that. Please give it a read if you have the chance.
Previous articles: FF7: Reflections of a Traumatized Generation (2020)
I Need to Talk about Final Fantasy VII Remake or My Head Will Explode (2021)
Excerpt: “A confluence of worlds… and emotions. Loss, chief among them. It engulfs fleeting moments of joy, transforming them into rage, sadness, hatred.”
– Sephiroth, Final Fantasy VII Rebirth (2024), speaking to me, specifically
*The following contains spoilers*
I. Memoirs of a Neurotic Fan
Hoo boy.
It’s been a long four years since Final Fantasy VII Remake (2020) released, and I don’t think I have ever before devoted so much emotional energy to deciphering how I truly feel about a piece of media. Initially, I enjoyed my return to a reimagined world of lovable characters, but unfavorable writing choices and a mind-boggling finale left me feeling torn. Despite striving to maintain an optimistic outlook at the end of my previous essay, my perspective on the game only darkened as the years wore on. Developer interviews constantly oscillated back and forth as to whether they would remain faithful to the original FF7 (1997), or, as the ending of Remake indicated, strike out on a brand new “unknown journey.” That’s not to mention the downright radioactive discourse among fans, combined with the litany of harassing messages I received for the most tepid criticisms.
Eventually, I grew to despise Remake. The positive emotions and ecstatic love I had for parts of the game sunk beneath my waves of ire toward its creative divergences – as well as what they represented to me. And I fed that hate. I hated its ponderous navel-gazing about the nature of adaptations. I hated its self-congratulatory insinuation that asinine story decisions like the “Baby’s-First-Metacommentary” Whispers and the resurrection of multiple deceased characters somehow constituted “bold” storytelling. I hated the uncritical portion of certain audiences that fell for this illusion of transgressive storytelling, all the while embracing a game that went out of its way to barrage the player with fanservice and puerile pandering. I hated the frequent argumentation that “it’s not a remake, it’s a sequel” was somehow seen as a mitigating factor, when it actually further aggravated my problems with it. I hated Remake’s emphasis on novelty, its subversion without meaning, its arrogant alienation of new audiences that wanted to experience a classic story, and its implicitly cynical view on thousands of years of storytelling tradition for the sake of “surprise.” To quote director Naoki Hamaguchi:
“When you try to remake a game and make it an entertaining game, having the exact storyline as the original would lack the excitement and surprise. I was looking for an essence to add to the story, and Zack was chosen to be this essence because in the original, there wasn’t much story about Zack, but in Crisis Core, he had a huge character development.”
But that lonely ember of hope persisted; after all, I had loved Remake at one point. I hated that stubborn attachment most of all. By the time Rebirth was fully unveiled, I wanted only one thing from it: to repulse me to my core, to be something so egregiously offensive to my sensibilities that I could never associate the project with anything positive again. “Perhaps if things get stupid enough,” I thought, “others will also see the emperor’s nakedness.” Pain and despair morphed into objects of desire for me. They were my keys to escaping these contradictory feelings of love and hate.
As you can see, I am quite well-adjusted and able to engage with art in a healthy way.
Continue Reading
submitted by BeefstewSA to FinalFantasyVIIRemake [link] [comments]
Previous articles: FF7: Reflections of a Traumatized Generation (2020)
I Need to Talk about Final Fantasy VII Remake or My Head Will Explode (2021)
Excerpt: “A confluence of worlds… and emotions. Loss, chief among them. It engulfs fleeting moments of joy, transforming them into rage, sadness, hatred.”
– Sephiroth, Final Fantasy VII Rebirth (2024), speaking to me, specifically
*The following contains spoilers*
I. Memoirs of a Neurotic Fan
Hoo boy.
It’s been a long four years since Final Fantasy VII Remake (2020) released, and I don’t think I have ever before devoted so much emotional energy to deciphering how I truly feel about a piece of media. Initially, I enjoyed my return to a reimagined world of lovable characters, but unfavorable writing choices and a mind-boggling finale left me feeling torn. Despite striving to maintain an optimistic outlook at the end of my previous essay, my perspective on the game only darkened as the years wore on. Developer interviews constantly oscillated back and forth as to whether they would remain faithful to the original FF7 (1997), or, as the ending of Remake indicated, strike out on a brand new “unknown journey.” That’s not to mention the downright radioactive discourse among fans, combined with the litany of harassing messages I received for the most tepid criticisms.
Eventually, I grew to despise Remake. The positive emotions and ecstatic love I had for parts of the game sunk beneath my waves of ire toward its creative divergences – as well as what they represented to me. And I fed that hate. I hated its ponderous navel-gazing about the nature of adaptations. I hated its self-congratulatory insinuation that asinine story decisions like the “Baby’s-First-Metacommentary” Whispers and the resurrection of multiple deceased characters somehow constituted “bold” storytelling. I hated the uncritical portion of certain audiences that fell for this illusion of transgressive storytelling, all the while embracing a game that went out of its way to barrage the player with fanservice and puerile pandering. I hated the frequent argumentation that “it’s not a remake, it’s a sequel” was somehow seen as a mitigating factor, when it actually further aggravated my problems with it. I hated Remake’s emphasis on novelty, its subversion without meaning, its arrogant alienation of new audiences that wanted to experience a classic story, and its implicitly cynical view on thousands of years of storytelling tradition for the sake of “surprise.” To quote director Naoki Hamaguchi:
“When you try to remake a game and make it an entertaining game, having the exact storyline as the original would lack the excitement and surprise. I was looking for an essence to add to the story, and Zack was chosen to be this essence because in the original, there wasn’t much story about Zack, but in Crisis Core, he had a huge character development.”
But that lonely ember of hope persisted; after all, I had loved Remake at one point. I hated that stubborn attachment most of all. By the time Rebirth was fully unveiled, I wanted only one thing from it: to repulse me to my core, to be something so egregiously offensive to my sensibilities that I could never associate the project with anything positive again. “Perhaps if things get stupid enough,” I thought, “others will also see the emperor’s nakedness.” Pain and despair morphed into objects of desire for me. They were my keys to escaping these contradictory feelings of love and hate.
As you can see, I am quite well-adjusted and able to engage with art in a healthy way.
Continue Reading
2024.05.14 01:05 glythandra Help with mods and console?
I’m playing Enderal (forgotten stories SE steam version) for the first time, and while originally I went unmodded as it was the advice I saw here, there are a few things I’ve run into that I wish I could change.
I only have time to play this game once, and I’ve already gotten far enough that I don’t want to restart.
From the following things I want to do, what mods/console commands can make this happen without starting a new save game?
1. item IDs for furniture and set piece
I want to decorate my house further with some of the static objects I’ve seen around the game, but I can’t find their IDs to spawn them in. I’ve found this list which is helpful for some things, but it doesn’t have things like chairs, prop table dressings, prop instruments, etc. How do I find the item IDs of objects I see out in the world and want to put in my house?
1b. item despawn/chest reset
Is there a limited time in which items will despawn from being dropped on the ground, or when a containechest’s contents will reset? I remember in vanilla skyrim that I never put anything in any chests that weren’t at my player home so I would avoid this, but I can’t remember if that means there’s any risk to storing things outside the player home, or if there’s any difference in how enderal does it. If I spawn a chest into my home and put things in it, will those things disappear with time? Is there any console command to stop this?
2. Romance both at once
As I said I only have time to play this game once but I want to experience as much of the content as I can without locking myself out of routes. I understand that as a story heavy game there’s probably no way to do Every option in the same play through, but if there’s any way to do both romances it would be a life saver. Is there a mod or console command I can input that allows me to do both? It sounds like at a certain point they make you choose between the two, but is there anything I can do to add/remove a flag that allows the one I “break up with” to continue the romance path as if I chose them?
3. Change NPC appearance
Preferable a command rather than a mod as I’d like to customize it to my own tastes. Is there any way for me to change an NPC’s hair style, head sculpt, coloration, clothes, even body type or sex? I’d prefer not to dive into creation kit as that is too complex for me, but if that’s the only option, could someone direct me to the most simple method to learn/do this?
4. Incompatible mods?
Most of the mods I would like are visual based like texture replacers or lighting changes. Are there any well known incompatibilities between certain mods, or any mods/type of mods that would be impossible to add mid-playthrough? Any recommended mods based on what I’ve discussed?
5. Best mod manager?
I’ve seen discussions where people mention certain things not functioning if done through one mod manager or another. Is there a consensus on which mod manager works the best with the most mods, or is it up to preference and circumstance? My only experience with skyrim modding was years ago through vortex. I assume modding Enderal is a slightly different process. How do I learn what steps to take to install and activate new mods for enderal?
If anyone knows any answers to any of these questions, let me know! Thanks
submitted by glythandra to enderal [link] [comments]
I only have time to play this game once, and I’ve already gotten far enough that I don’t want to restart.
From the following things I want to do, what mods/console commands can make this happen without starting a new save game?
1. item IDs for furniture and set piece
I want to decorate my house further with some of the static objects I’ve seen around the game, but I can’t find their IDs to spawn them in. I’ve found this list which is helpful for some things, but it doesn’t have things like chairs, prop table dressings, prop instruments, etc. How do I find the item IDs of objects I see out in the world and want to put in my house?
1b. item despawn/chest reset
Is there a limited time in which items will despawn from being dropped on the ground, or when a containechest’s contents will reset? I remember in vanilla skyrim that I never put anything in any chests that weren’t at my player home so I would avoid this, but I can’t remember if that means there’s any risk to storing things outside the player home, or if there’s any difference in how enderal does it. If I spawn a chest into my home and put things in it, will those things disappear with time? Is there any console command to stop this?
2. Romance both at once
As I said I only have time to play this game once but I want to experience as much of the content as I can without locking myself out of routes. I understand that as a story heavy game there’s probably no way to do Every option in the same play through, but if there’s any way to do both romances it would be a life saver. Is there a mod or console command I can input that allows me to do both? It sounds like at a certain point they make you choose between the two, but is there anything I can do to add/remove a flag that allows the one I “break up with” to continue the romance path as if I chose them?
3. Change NPC appearance
Preferable a command rather than a mod as I’d like to customize it to my own tastes. Is there any way for me to change an NPC’s hair style, head sculpt, coloration, clothes, even body type or sex? I’d prefer not to dive into creation kit as that is too complex for me, but if that’s the only option, could someone direct me to the most simple method to learn/do this?
4. Incompatible mods?
Most of the mods I would like are visual based like texture replacers or lighting changes. Are there any well known incompatibilities between certain mods, or any mods/type of mods that would be impossible to add mid-playthrough? Any recommended mods based on what I’ve discussed?
5. Best mod manager?
I’ve seen discussions where people mention certain things not functioning if done through one mod manager or another. Is there a consensus on which mod manager works the best with the most mods, or is it up to preference and circumstance? My only experience with skyrim modding was years ago through vortex. I assume modding Enderal is a slightly different process. How do I learn what steps to take to install and activate new mods for enderal?
If anyone knows any answers to any of these questions, let me know! Thanks
2024.05.14 01:05 xxLivingxLegend We. Are. Back. SO! BACK!
Funny thing is I never left. I’ve been off superstonk just being zen and going about my everyday life. Didn’t really have the funds to buy more and didn’t have time to watch the ticker day in and day out. So once every last share I have was DSR’d two years ago I had no need to get updated DD or any new shitposts.
I was just chillin today and had 3 different friends that knew I used to dabble in GME say “to the moon” or “are you rich yet” just to poke fun at me. Little do they know +70% isn’t what I’m looking for. +7,000% might hype me up a little more. Regardless still 100% DSR’d and 100% sure the squeeze hasn’t squoze and ready to take this ride with all you fuckers. I hope this time it’s the start of the final liftoff! To the moon mother fuckers… to the moon!!!!
submitted by xxLivingxLegend to Superstonk [link] [comments]
I was just chillin today and had 3 different friends that knew I used to dabble in GME say “to the moon” or “are you rich yet” just to poke fun at me. Little do they know +70% isn’t what I’m looking for. +7,000% might hype me up a little more. Regardless still 100% DSR’d and 100% sure the squeeze hasn’t squoze and ready to take this ride with all you fuckers. I hope this time it’s the start of the final liftoff! To the moon mother fuckers… to the moon!!!!
2024.05.14 01:04 Ezbayt Whenever I dream, immediately write the dream down. I do as little editing as possible what is read is as true to my recollection of the dream as possible.
“I want to know your deepest fear. I want to know what floods your mind and causes your neural synapses to fire.”
A pop up advert for an official off earth resort fills the screen with a nauseating array of bright colours juxtaposed by a minimalist design style. The advert boasts of and promises a new life on the colony of Mars. An en-suite apartment that captures the earth in all its distant splendour. A sound plays and endless colourful dots fill the screen followed by a sanitised artificial voice : “ The Mars colony produced around 2 billion tonnes of waste last year.”
This electronic vision is interrupted by an enormous violent outburst. Glass shatters and pops, heavy cybernetic feet pound the floor followed by manic howling. “ Where is Che?!?! where is Che?!? I need Che!?”
One may have mistaken this commotion for a toddler in distress but this was no mere toddler. Indeed, the individual causing this commotion was a young man named Matthew Theron, yes of the Theron family. Somehow I knew this character and knew that his very presence had a serious gravitas.
In this dream I am accompanying Che, the advert for the new life on Mars is projected on a screen which we both grind our teeth at due to its slow speed of progression especially given the circumstances, we need a way out of this place and we needed it now.
Che features are indescribable, what I can confirm is that she is indeed a specimen worthy of the envy of men and woman alike. And I would liken this dream and its atmosphere to that of Helen of Troy who in her passions against her husbands, the rich and powerful Menelaus, brought ruin and tragedy to the city of Troy and those who lived behind its walls.
CRASH! This time a steel door is sent flying through the air followed by more howling
“Che! Che where are you!?! I need Che!”
I cast my eyes down the hall, glass lays strewn about all natural wooden floor and a small crowd begins to gather. My focus turns to Che and I whisper frantically, “We need to get out of here now.”
The sign up for this new life ends and we are greeted by a new announcement by the screen. “ your transport will arrive in 1 minute. Please make your way to the designated area.” Fortunately for us, said designated area was located atop what I can recall being a rather tall and imperious building, the exact building we were trapped in.
“We’ve gotta get outside, go now” I say, grabbing Che by her arm and shoving down the hallway towards the roof top exit. The sound of heavy feet fills the chaotic ambience behind us. Wham! Bam! Bam! Glancing over my shoulder I see Matthew , eyes aglow in manic fury, hair wild, the smashed glass crunching beneath his bare feet as he stalks his way closer.
“Che!” He howls.
“Che! I need you! I want to know your deepest fear! I want to know what floods your mind and causes your neural synapses to fire!”
He takes off running, I shove Che and move to intercept the cyborg. Despite his speed I manage to grab him by the scruff raise him into the air, slam him down and essentially fold him like a piece of paper all in a single motion. I turn and bolt to the door noticing that Che is holding it open for me. Just as I make it there, the cyborg reforms itself. Legs, neck and joints snap and twist back together like a corpse reanimated by a necromancer. At once his assault resumes. I slam the door, locking it but it is immediately blown off its hinges.
“The ship! The ship!” Yells Che.
We sprint, leap and jump into the ship which lifts off and clears the building just as the cyborg comes within reach, just in time its doors close and full throttle is engaged.
Last image I have is of that cyborg madly throwing himself off the buildings roof in rage induced attempt and clearing the distance between the abyss below and our Space Craft. Rage still burning in his eyes.
This commotion is interrupted by a screen similar to that observed earlier which thanks us for choosing this particular brand for our off world adventure and reassured us that we have made the correct decision. This is all followed by an infomercial showing what looked like a river flowing with millions of different pixels on a stark white background, with the announcement once again recalling the 2 billion tonnes of waste that was produced by the Mars colony of last year.
submitted by Ezbayt to Dreams [link] [comments]
A pop up advert for an official off earth resort fills the screen with a nauseating array of bright colours juxtaposed by a minimalist design style. The advert boasts of and promises a new life on the colony of Mars. An en-suite apartment that captures the earth in all its distant splendour. A sound plays and endless colourful dots fill the screen followed by a sanitised artificial voice : “ The Mars colony produced around 2 billion tonnes of waste last year.”
This electronic vision is interrupted by an enormous violent outburst. Glass shatters and pops, heavy cybernetic feet pound the floor followed by manic howling. “ Where is Che?!?! where is Che?!? I need Che!?”
One may have mistaken this commotion for a toddler in distress but this was no mere toddler. Indeed, the individual causing this commotion was a young man named Matthew Theron, yes of the Theron family. Somehow I knew this character and knew that his very presence had a serious gravitas.
In this dream I am accompanying Che, the advert for the new life on Mars is projected on a screen which we both grind our teeth at due to its slow speed of progression especially given the circumstances, we need a way out of this place and we needed it now.
Che features are indescribable, what I can confirm is that she is indeed a specimen worthy of the envy of men and woman alike. And I would liken this dream and its atmosphere to that of Helen of Troy who in her passions against her husbands, the rich and powerful Menelaus, brought ruin and tragedy to the city of Troy and those who lived behind its walls.
CRASH! This time a steel door is sent flying through the air followed by more howling
“Che! Che where are you!?! I need Che!”
I cast my eyes down the hall, glass lays strewn about all natural wooden floor and a small crowd begins to gather. My focus turns to Che and I whisper frantically, “We need to get out of here now.”
The sign up for this new life ends and we are greeted by a new announcement by the screen. “ your transport will arrive in 1 minute. Please make your way to the designated area.” Fortunately for us, said designated area was located atop what I can recall being a rather tall and imperious building, the exact building we were trapped in.
“We’ve gotta get outside, go now” I say, grabbing Che by her arm and shoving down the hallway towards the roof top exit. The sound of heavy feet fills the chaotic ambience behind us. Wham! Bam! Bam! Glancing over my shoulder I see Matthew , eyes aglow in manic fury, hair wild, the smashed glass crunching beneath his bare feet as he stalks his way closer.
“Che!” He howls.
“Che! I need you! I want to know your deepest fear! I want to know what floods your mind and causes your neural synapses to fire!”
He takes off running, I shove Che and move to intercept the cyborg. Despite his speed I manage to grab him by the scruff raise him into the air, slam him down and essentially fold him like a piece of paper all in a single motion. I turn and bolt to the door noticing that Che is holding it open for me. Just as I make it there, the cyborg reforms itself. Legs, neck and joints snap and twist back together like a corpse reanimated by a necromancer. At once his assault resumes. I slam the door, locking it but it is immediately blown off its hinges.
“The ship! The ship!” Yells Che.
We sprint, leap and jump into the ship which lifts off and clears the building just as the cyborg comes within reach, just in time its doors close and full throttle is engaged.
Last image I have is of that cyborg madly throwing himself off the buildings roof in rage induced attempt and clearing the distance between the abyss below and our Space Craft. Rage still burning in his eyes.
This commotion is interrupted by a screen similar to that observed earlier which thanks us for choosing this particular brand for our off world adventure and reassured us that we have made the correct decision. This is all followed by an infomercial showing what looked like a river flowing with millions of different pixels on a stark white background, with the announcement once again recalling the 2 billion tonnes of waste that was produced by the Mars colony of last year.
2024.05.14 01:04 Therealalpha_ Am I crazy for thinking my husband is a fetishizer?!?
I posted this on off my chest a few days ago and most of the very few comments just said he had a preference and there’s nothing wrong with this. It’s been a week and I just CANT shake my mind off this. I keep thinking about it and reading into little things.
I’m just gonna copy and paste my original text and add some more details hoping a black audience will get me.
“I love my husband very much. I’m a black woman me and him have been together for years. I’m very close with his family except for his now estranged father who was basically disowned by the family for being racist towards me.
He is white, his whole family is, he grew up in a fully white suburban area. He very affectionate. He loves to play with my hair which I use to see as just a cute normal partner thing.
So on Sunday night I was at his mothers house for dinner and there was a new guest, someone I’d only met at our wedding and I barely had time to interact with. It was his aunt but he just calls her a cousin since she is around his age. They grew up very close and this was the first time she was officially meeting me.
The cousin started cracking jokes that to me felt racially insensitive. She was saying stuff like “this is exactly the type of person I expected you to marry” and I thought she was just being mean and sarcastic. My husband was blushing and telling her to stop which I found weird because usually he would rush to defend me.
Everyone else at the table seemed to be laughing. I think they then noticed my discomfort because then my MIL told me his cousin wasn’t attacking me and then the cousin started talking about how much my husband has always loved black woman since he was a child and how she was being serious when she said she expected him to end up with someone exactly like me.
My husband was like red red and trying to eat his food and tune out the conversation but I was curious so let his cousin keep talking to me.
She started telling me all about how growing up he was obsessed with black celebrities and black woman in general. When he say a black woman in public he would gawk at her. He would rip photos of bw out of magazines and keep them in his room. He would debate with his friends about how bw were the prettiest.
I was shocked because I know my husband dated four people other than me three of which were not black. Or so I thought. Turns out they were all black. His cousin told me.
He didn’t necessarily lie about it I guess I just assumed. He told me his first girlfriend was black once but the race of the other three never came up.
While his cousin was talking my cousin would keep interjecting saying “that’s not true” or “your exaggerating”. But the way everyone else on the table was just cackling makes me feel like they all knew and it’s all true.
The topic eventually changed and it was normal until on the drive home I decided to question him. When I brought it up his face got red immediately and he was stumbling over his words. He didn’t deny anything he just said “I didn’t really know it was a weird thing until recently” and he always just viewed it as him having a type not a fetish and he said his cousin was just trying to mess with him and he’s sorry if anything she said crossed the line.
After that I just dropped it but I cannot stop thinking about this.”
Is what I posted six days ago. I keep thinking of little things my husband does like he’ll encourage me to wear cultural clothes, and he’ll insist on always washing my hair, when I use to wear wigs he would always tell me how he prefers my natural hair and would tell me with a vigor.
It’s killing me and I love him. I want to stop thinking this so badly but I feel crazy. I even went through his following lists which I told myself I’d never do cuz it’s crazy!
Is this all in my head or should I be concerned.
submitted by Therealalpha_ to blackladies [link] [comments]
I’m just gonna copy and paste my original text and add some more details hoping a black audience will get me.
“I love my husband very much. I’m a black woman me and him have been together for years. I’m very close with his family except for his now estranged father who was basically disowned by the family for being racist towards me.
He is white, his whole family is, he grew up in a fully white suburban area. He very affectionate. He loves to play with my hair which I use to see as just a cute normal partner thing.
So on Sunday night I was at his mothers house for dinner and there was a new guest, someone I’d only met at our wedding and I barely had time to interact with. It was his aunt but he just calls her a cousin since she is around his age. They grew up very close and this was the first time she was officially meeting me.
The cousin started cracking jokes that to me felt racially insensitive. She was saying stuff like “this is exactly the type of person I expected you to marry” and I thought she was just being mean and sarcastic. My husband was blushing and telling her to stop which I found weird because usually he would rush to defend me.
Everyone else at the table seemed to be laughing. I think they then noticed my discomfort because then my MIL told me his cousin wasn’t attacking me and then the cousin started talking about how much my husband has always loved black woman since he was a child and how she was being serious when she said she expected him to end up with someone exactly like me.
My husband was like red red and trying to eat his food and tune out the conversation but I was curious so let his cousin keep talking to me.
She started telling me all about how growing up he was obsessed with black celebrities and black woman in general. When he say a black woman in public he would gawk at her. He would rip photos of bw out of magazines and keep them in his room. He would debate with his friends about how bw were the prettiest.
I was shocked because I know my husband dated four people other than me three of which were not black. Or so I thought. Turns out they were all black. His cousin told me.
He didn’t necessarily lie about it I guess I just assumed. He told me his first girlfriend was black once but the race of the other three never came up.
While his cousin was talking my cousin would keep interjecting saying “that’s not true” or “your exaggerating”. But the way everyone else on the table was just cackling makes me feel like they all knew and it’s all true.
The topic eventually changed and it was normal until on the drive home I decided to question him. When I brought it up his face got red immediately and he was stumbling over his words. He didn’t deny anything he just said “I didn’t really know it was a weird thing until recently” and he always just viewed it as him having a type not a fetish and he said his cousin was just trying to mess with him and he’s sorry if anything she said crossed the line.
After that I just dropped it but I cannot stop thinking about this.”
Is what I posted six days ago. I keep thinking of little things my husband does like he’ll encourage me to wear cultural clothes, and he’ll insist on always washing my hair, when I use to wear wigs he would always tell me how he prefers my natural hair and would tell me with a vigor.
It’s killing me and I love him. I want to stop thinking this so badly but I feel crazy. I even went through his following lists which I told myself I’d never do cuz it’s crazy!
Is this all in my head or should I be concerned.
2024.05.14 01:04 tastetherawr first time owner
 | so by the title, i am a first time owner of this little guy, and his name is ike! i already adore him with my whole heart. he was previously owned by someone else for two years, but i welcomed him into my home less than a week ago. he came with everything necessary, but i am upgrading him from a 20 gal to a 40 gal with new supplies and clean substrate, but it won’t come in the mail yet for another 2-3 days. the reason for this post is that he’s not very active from what i’ve noticed, and he has these tiny white specks on his body that won’t rub off. he has a bioactive terrarium and i’ve placed in new bugs like blue powder isopods and crickets but i’ve attempted to feed him twice already with the mealworms his previous owner provided me with, but he hasn’t eaten since i’ve gotten him this past friday. i think i’m worrying myself to death at this point lol but i want to be a good gecko mom. so, basically– does he look okay? should those white specks be something i have to be worried about? any advice, tips, or recommendations? TYIA! submitted by tastetherawr to leopardgeckos [link] [comments] |
2024.05.14 01:04 Ordinary-Psychology6 Who has the better 2024 season, Rhamondre Stevenson or Najee Harris?
As an owner of both of these players I’m curious what the consensus is as a community on the usage and viability as a starter in the NFL and as a points producer for fantasy.
With Stevenson you have the problematic offence of the Pats and a new coach coming in. You also have the potential time share with a young talented RB in Antonio Gibson. Stevenson is 26 and was already low draft capital. He’s managed to prove himself but do we see regression or will he make a comeback from his down year last year?
As for Harris he came into the league an older player, he managed to prove himself year after year playing through injuries and still being a viable fantasy option do we finally see a shift into Warren becoming the main guy? History has shown us that Tomlin is one of the few remaining coaches who likes his bellcow back, last year we really saw Warren and him getting an actual timeshare. The denied 5th year option isn’t a good look.
Which of these two receivers do you see making a big comeback this year? Do you think both have everything it takes to have a big season? Do you think they’re both nearing the end of their fantasy production?
Curious on the communities thoughts.
submitted by Ordinary-Psychology6 to DynastyFF [link] [comments]
With Stevenson you have the problematic offence of the Pats and a new coach coming in. You also have the potential time share with a young talented RB in Antonio Gibson. Stevenson is 26 and was already low draft capital. He’s managed to prove himself but do we see regression or will he make a comeback from his down year last year?
As for Harris he came into the league an older player, he managed to prove himself year after year playing through injuries and still being a viable fantasy option do we finally see a shift into Warren becoming the main guy? History has shown us that Tomlin is one of the few remaining coaches who likes his bellcow back, last year we really saw Warren and him getting an actual timeshare. The denied 5th year option isn’t a good look.
Which of these two receivers do you see making a big comeback this year? Do you think both have everything it takes to have a big season? Do you think they’re both nearing the end of their fantasy production?
Curious on the communities thoughts.