Days since we ve been together counter myspace

I originally posted a post under unrequited love that said “have u ever ended a friendship with someone you love who didn’t love you back.” The thing is he’s my guy friend for two years and I’m in love with him and I have strong feelings for him but I know he never felt the same way. The friendship was something that caused me a lot of ache and pain bc I hoped for something more when I knew that could never happen. It was driving me insane to stay in his life and not tell him how I feel and I was sure that the good decision was to walk away and end the friendship for my mental health which I did. Our friendship was also meaningless and pointless bc he would make fun of me a lot and call me “pessimistic” which I am but the unrequited feelings added to my pessimism. He would always reject my offer to hangout and would leave me on seen for months on end etc. So that also played a factor in why I ended the friendship including my feelings bc I was just so miserable. I texted him something really light bc I know it can be overwhelming for the person on the receiving end and I didn’t want to dump my feelings on him. I first said “I don’t think I can maintain a friendship anymore.” Bc I chickened out to which he didn’t even ask why or anything and just said “I wish u Nothing but the best.” That response got me a bit sad and mad bc he didn’t even care to ask why or anything and I just wanted to believe our friendship wasn’t that weak and had more care in it. I cried for hours bc I thought he would’ve at least asked why. We saw each other the day before I texted him this in which he made fun of me for being pessimistic. So I thought he would think that’s why I was ending the friendship bc I’ve told him I don’t like it when he calls me pessimistic. Either way I Thought he would just say something like “why” “did something happen” “are u okay.” But he didn’t. So bc I got mad I then told him I have to distance myself from him bc I have certain emotions and feelings for him that make it hard to maintain a friendship. Then I also sort of went off on him a little bit for calling me pessimistic and making fun of me for it bc he never understood that part of my reason for being pessimistic was loving him and hoping for him when I knew he never felt the same way. I said “my negativity isn’t who I am. You never knew the real me.” I also said distance myself and just not be friends for right now or forever bc I don’t know what the future holds. I texted this on sat and it’s now Mon. He hasn’t texted me back and I understand that’s okay and it must be overwhelming to hear that from me esp bc I never once let him know or even gave hints I liked him. I was so good at just hiding it so I know it’s a shock. He’s also a person that doesn’t open up or talk at all. He just closes up and never talks about how he feels. The thing is… I was so careful with what I said and I didn’t dump emotional love on him. I said I needed time away bc I have feelings for him. I just feel bad now? I feel so guilty? I feel like I did the wrong thing? I miss him? I KNOW the good thing was to distance myself bc I can’t even describe the pain I was in when we were friends not just bc of my feelings but bc he never put effort to be friends with me and would just be distant and dry to me. When I was friends with him I would tell myself I’d be much happier without him but now that I’m experiencing that side of the equation I feel more miserable? I just need help with my emotions? I think I messed up? Was being friends with him better than nothing? Should I have just hid my feelings and been happy to have him as a friend at least? I don’t know what he’s feeling bc he won’t talk to me and his silence is driving me insane. Do I miss him or the idea of a friendship with him? Do I miss him or our friendship? I feel like I’m regretting everything now but is it just too early and the pain of letting him go is fresh? Do I still have to get used to not having in my life bc I just cry and cry that we aren’t friends anymore. I thought would it be possible to stay friends after my confession and I would’ve liked to bc our friendship means a lot to me but I know that wasn’t possible bc my emotions were just too much for him but I’m beating myself over it that I could’ve told him in a diff way and said “i hope my feelings don’t ruin our friendship.” I’m just lost. I don’t know what im missing or what I did that was wrong or right. He’s a very patient and nice person overall by nature and we have school together on Thurs so i don’t know if I should just go and talk to him? But I feel sort of embarrassed to even see him. I also don’t know if he’ll still wanna see me even tho he is soft by nature I do get that if he’s upset or something and refuses to talk to me it makes sense. I feel terrible and miserable in my own self even tho I know I owed it to myself to distance myself bc it’s good for my mental and emotional health. Can someone just talk to me and tell me if I did the wrong thing or the right thing? What’s this feeling of missing him or just the friendship? Why do I feel and almost regret it? I just need him to talk to me even if he wants to yell at me for saying I have feelings but I just need him to TALK. I’ve never had to deal with such complicated emotions before. This entire situation is driving me insane esp bc he never talks about how he feels or shares anything. Oh and I forgot to mention he’s moving away to a diff state for grad school in July…. Which is 90% of the reason why I knew I should just end our friendship or distance myself bc what use is loving someone who’s far away from me that I can’t even see or hangout with? He could just get a gf and that would’ve made my pain and ache more severe. (He’s single rn and has been the entire time we were friends). I thought I would be so much happier without him and could start my “healing journey” but I had no idea the complications waiting for me on the other end.

TL:dr- my guy got upset at me for having to haul a sectional down 3 flights of stairs, even though I didn’t KNOW it was on the third floor, and I’m simply upset he was angry at me over something I didn’t know and made something I was so excited to get into an unpleasant experience
To preface I adore furniture. Not only did I use to sell furniture, my mother reupholstered furniture and I wanted to be an interior designer. One of my proudest achievements in my life was decorating my first apt in amazingly nice furniture pieces over 3 years while living in poverty. One of the saddest things was having to sell all the furniture. I pintrest furniture. I scroll Facebook marketplace for furniture as a pass-time and daydream. At one point in my life it was the MOST fun hobby ever to go on day long trips to travel to other states to pick up cool furniture I’d found there. So you could say furniture is a deep love of mine.
What’s troubled me is in the last 4 years we had to downsize ALL my furniture because moving into a VERY small living area. The sale of all the furniture went into our saving. His hobby is house plants- a much easier hobby to fit in a home. So about half our living space is dedicated to his hobby. I’ve been pretty miserable unable to decorate for 4 years, and I’ve been pretty open about this. We’ve also been saving for a house so while I don’t begrudge him spending a 100 or so a month on his hobby; there’s no room to justify me spending say 200 on an antique writing desk we can’t fit here.
About 4 months ago I found my dream bedroom suite. When I saw it was a dream I mean I’ve been looking for this EXACT furniture set every week for almost 8 years. I found it, for $400 for what’s around 8k worth of furniture- it was a 6hr drive and a headache to pick up. Without help to move it I missed out on the set. I was devastated. It was actually really upsetting because it’s something I knew I’d never find again in my price range. He reassured it me wasn’t a big deal and that I’d find it again. I won’t, I know, because I’ve been looking for that set for a decade. I explained to him that this was a passion and a great love of mine, it make me feel at home in my space and expressed where I live. I explained how important decorating my home was to me and how glum I’ve been not being able to do it for years now. I asked him if next time we found a piece that worked in our budget if he would REALLY make an effort to help me get it because it was really important to me that he support my hobby the way I support his: I’ve learned about every hobby he has and listen in earnest, memorizing all the little things so I can talk to him about it. He likes to collect mugs- I made him a mug display, he likes to garden-I buy him exotic plants, he likes dinosaurs-I take the day off work to drive 2hrs both ways to pick up some rare dino collectibles.
One day he says the couch is old and hurts his back, he mentions it for about a month. I’m exstatic! Because it’s the only piece of furniture we have to sit on in our small home. I’m dedicated to finding us a really really nice one second hand, one he’ll like too, one that has back support, one we can cuddle on. I hunt for a week and he vetos several that he doesn’t like but I find a $2000 couch in good condition for 100. Am I’m so excited it’s actually in our budget, it’ll fit in our small space, it’s perfect! I feel accomplished, I feel motivated, I feel EXCITED to decorate the house. This is the most excited I’ve been to buy anything in YEARS. I’m giddy.
When we get there to pick up the couch we realize the sellers didn’t happen to mention it was on the third floor. It’s a sectional but lightweight. I specifically picked so we could arrange it in our tiny space to have lots of little spots to read. And I can tell instantly this is going to be a problem. He’s going to get upset. I’m so worried he’ll be upset I try to overly positively handle everything- and get injured several times just trying to get it over quick and simple. And arm of the couch slams me in the throat and my hand gets rammed into a wall blood bruising my thumb. He’s uncharacteristicly unconcerned I’m hurt. All the climbing makes us both sick and shaky, so I suggest we sit and wait to fill better in the Ac before driving home.
When we head back I become very aware he’s not talking to me. He’s angry. I already know it. I try to apologize, to make things better, to explain I didn’t know that it was on the third floor and wouldn’t have got it if I had. That it was just a great deal and worked great for what we needed and it was in our budget (it’s almost impossible to find anything in our budget) and that we wouldn’t have been able to get anything near as nice so cheaply, that I’m sorry I know it was more than what he signed up to help me with and if I had known I would have paid family to help move it or thought of something else. I know his annoyance is justified. he explains it to me and to his merit he does it calmly, but he’s still upset at me- not just for the stairs, but for the drive, and for getting a sectional to begin with when “all we needed” was a cheap small love seat, he doesn’t GET IT and he’s pissed
He tried to be nice about it but he’s miserable and mad at me and doesn’t at all get why I was excited over it. By the end I feel a bit choked up, and teary eyed. I’m not a crier but I suppose he must have seen me tearing up because he clarifies he wants to support my hobby but doesn’t get it.
Yes things went arry but I thought it was almost a funny mishap, it wasn’t too bad getting the piece, we saved thousands of dollars, it’s the only NICE piece in our house and I was so excited to impress him with it. That he was angry, that he wasn’t even worried I was hurt- just ripped through me. Getting that piece of furniture, the first piece of furniture we bought together for our first home together meant a lot to me. To try to show him I wanted us to have something nice together I moved our old ripped up couch out by myself, scrubbed cleaned and arranged the new furniture by myself and moved every piece of it I could by myself. I also cleaned and arrange the living so that he could comfortably sit and enjoy the new seating in a well organized clean space. I stayed up for hours doing it alone till my body ached. But he’s still upset with me and I’ve lost all the “happiness” I had to decorate with him, I just feel embarrassed and sad. I don’t think I’ll be able to ask him to go with me again to get a piece, I don’t think he’d want to. It all just got so bungled. I just feel…. Like it was a missed opportunity to laugh and make a good memory, now it’s a bad memory I think will stick around.
I had hoped we’d travel together getting new pieces and making new memories. Now I just know we never will.

My licensed location only got a few cases and we’ve been out since the second day. Constantly have customers getting mad/disappointed and walk out because of it. Just curious if this is an issue everywhere?

So we've been dating for 11.5 months, in which time we moved in together, met our friends and family, had trips, explored shard interests, and generally had a great time.
In that time, we've had 2-3 bigger fights, but even so they were not that bad: She had a small outburst in public while shopping and I raised my voice when we got back home; I made a joke in public which she was not comfortable with; she said that she was on the fence about having kids mid relationship, but it turned out that was because she is having trouble making longterm plans.
The rest of the time, since we first started talking, we've never spent a day not talking to each other via text or in person, and we never got tiered of it. We both do stuff for eachother: she cooks for us, sometimes I help; I've become tidier and help around the house sometimes (she has a thing for cleaning, but she toned it down); we say and show how much me mean for each other; we keep finding new activities to enjoy together; the sex is the best we've ever had, and getting better; etc.
So what the hell happened?
I was working from home, focused on work (I'm not a workaholic, quite the opposite). After finishing her remote work, she said she's going in the kitchen to put some chips in the oven and make some salads and I said ok and thanks.
Then time passed and she came upset at me, asking rhetorically if I couldn't smell the burnt food. I noticed it then and told her - I guess I got focused on my work, my sense of smell is pretty poor and put it out of my mind, thinking she would handle it. She said she went into the other room to talk to her mother and heard the timer go off (again, something I didn't hear and in all fairness, can barely be heard) but didn't do anything - I gathered she was expecting me to realize and handle it.
I need to mention that at no point did we raise our voice to echother.
I told her that it's ok and soon I'll finish work and help her with the cooking. She was still upset and asked angrily would I still do nothing if the house caught fire. I told her calmly that it wasn't the case. She then controlled herself and walked away, said she no longer feels like cooking, left the salads half done on the kitchen and, when I asked why she was getting dressed, said she went outside for shopping (which she did).
I let her go, figuring it was the best thing to do in the moment. Then, finished my work and called her after to ask what exactly she was planning to cook, so I can do it by the time she gets back. She told me and I told her I'll wait for her at home when she's ready to come back.
I made the food, she got back, I came at the door to welcome her, but she was barely acknowledging my presence and was interacting with the cat.
I let it go and asked if she wants to eat, and she said yes. She made some small talk about the cat, still being very cold, and I asked if she wanted to talk about what happened. She says she doesn't feel that we need to. I said that there is a little need, and she said she doesn't feel like it.
As you can imagine, I was pretty upset by this point, enough that it was starting to show. She proceeded to make small talk again, but I told her calmly that I wasn't interested. After finishing food, I told her I'll be going to the other room to rest and that she's welcome to join me (implied: if she wants to talk about it), but that it's fine if she doesn't (implied: if she needs more time).
Until the end of the day she never came to me and I told her I'll be going to bed, if she still doesn't feel like talking. She said ok and we slept separately.
This morning before going to the office, I asked again if she would like to talk. She said ok, and still coldly, basically the same things she already said, plus that she feels like she isn't heard and doesn't know if she wants to continue pursuing the relationship - my heart sinks.
I tell her that I'm not upset because she got angry (we had a few moments where she would have a quick burst of anger, but we were making progress), but that she was shutting me out instead of talking to me about it, like we usually do (she had trouble opening up in past relationships, and with me it was easier, but not all the time). She said that yesterday I was treating her like a child (???) and that it's best if we continue sleeping separately for a few days so she can rest better (she has some anxiety when sleeping and even slight noises can wake her up), though that's probably not the reason. At one point I asked her what she thought about yesterday while being alone, and she said that she was jealous of a neighbour that has a car and she has to commute (neither of us has a driver's licence, it's harder to get where we live, and we were planning on starting driving school together in roughly a month, after she got used to her new job). When I asked why she didn't use that time to think about our situation, she said that the world doesn't revolve around me.... She also said that she feels the relationship is too much work. I kept asking her what she means, but she just kept saying "i don't know".
Before she left, I told her that we've been happy for a long time, she told me how happy she was with me just the other day and love doesn't disappear in a single day, and that I love her. She said ok. I asked if she could say the same thing, and she said that she agrees that love doesn't disappear in a single day. I asked if she'd like us to at least hug, and she said she wouldn't like it but she'll do it if I need it. I said in that case I don't want it.
Then I changed my mind and told her I'll hug her anyway, before doing so. We cried a little, but she just said bye and left.
That's the long of it. I don't know if it's the external pressure, something I did or didn't do, anxiety because of the future, those damned burnt chips, etc.
She's not a bad person: she's usually very caring and very vocal about how happy she is and how much she appreciates me. She's also smart and tries to work on herself. She's one of only 2 girlfriends I've ever said "I love you" to, and the first one was my first love, ~15 years ago. I'm the first guy she ever moved in with because she wanted to and the first one she ever loved. We're also the envy of other couples with how good we are foto each other.
We both went to therapy in the past - myself in the past, for a few years, which helped, and herself for a few months at the middle of our relationship, which she said helped as well, but not as much as it could have.
We already know we want to marry each other (at least we did) and if we break up, I don't think we can find someone better for us.
TL;DR: We've been like soulmates for the past year but she suddenly got extremely upset/cold and says the rlationship might not be worth it.
I'm lost and heartbroken and I don't know what to do. It all just seems like a cruel joke. I don't understand what happened and I just want us to be happy - what should I do?

I need to talk about this because i need avices. So me and this guy met about a month ago and got along really well at first, we didn’t have any trouble in our conversations etc. When we got to know each other, i found some strange such as him using dating apps for his work (clients), him flirting with his them as a joke…. He knows i need a lot of reassurance because i overthink little things due to some past relationships, but every time he tells me that I worry too much for nothing and just to enjoy the now instead of thinking about the future about things that didn’t even happen. Now there’s the main thing. We live in a different continent and we both agreed to meet in a year and get to know each other in the meantime, and obviously we did talk about sexual things. I asked him if he will ever do something with a guy while waiting to meet in person and his answer was that he had « needs ». I told him I wasn’t comfortable with him doing so (and also flirting with his clients) but he just said that it wasn’t a concern yet at all. I told him that even thinking about it was wrong since he said he liked me, but it was apparently just a random thing and not actual sex. I kind of let go for a week but for the past few days I’ve been thinking about it constantly because if he’s willing to do that im not going to waste my time with him. The last message he sent was before going to work was that « I was insane when it comes to love » (because as I said I need a lot of reassurance and im always scared they’ll abandon me due to past issues) I just went to sleep and woke up to me blocked on one of his social, he didn’t even bother to read the texts I sent him before doing so. I texted him on the other social I had with him and surprisingly I wasn’t blocked there, I told him I wasn’t trying to save anything anymore and I was cutting contact with him. That being said, I need yall opinion to see if I really am insane or if he was right and im paranoid about meaningless things
EDIT: he also ghosted me twice in not even a month, for 13h & 11h without a good reason

She said she wanted to go home. She said I didn't care about her unless she was leaving. I was just trying to understand what was going on. She said she was going home. I accepted that she didn't want to stay with me then but it was raining outside. "Can I at least give you a ride? It's raining and cold."
Her answer? "Oh, so you want me to beg for a ride?"
What??? I just offered her a ride.
"If you really wanted to give me a ride, you would have said 'I am giving you a ride home, let's go.' Not made me ask for it."
Look, at this point, I'm just confused. I did drive her home, and she left my car without saying goodbye. I gave her the space she needed and cried on the way home.
But no. She said I was codependent. She said it wasn't good that I was sad just because of her emotions. So, ok, I decided to take her advice. I went to the event we were planning on going on with friends to distract for a few hours. Before I left, she texts me.
"What are you doing?"
"Oh sorry I was getting ready to go to the thing."
"Oh. Fun! I can't wait for the next time you feel like shit and I can go out and have fun."
"Sick. Thanks for that."
"💋"
And then she blocked me everywhere.
I distracted myself. Then I got home and I cried. And I screamed. And I hit my head against the wall and yelled I GIVE UP I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING LEFT TO GIVE. Just that day we had gone through a workbook and discussed what our greatest fears were from each other. Mine were sarcasm and suddenly leaving. She had done both and she didn't give a damn. She actively chose to hurt me. And if it were me 2.5 years ago, maybe I would have had the emotional control to hold it in, to deal with things. But I didn't. I am a shell of who I once was. And I never have the power to consider leaving unless I am fully drained and feel like I can't breathe, I can't stand, I can't live.
So I packed all of her things up. I dumped boxes into my car and I drove to her house. I wanted to talk.
I knocked on her door. She opened it.
"What are you doing here?"
"You won. I don't know what you were trying to win, but whatever it was, you won."
She just stared at me.
I waited for her to say something. Nothing. Then, finally...
"What do you want?"
There was no chance of conversation. No "I'm sorry for using the things you fear most because I knew they would dig in and hurt." No. Just a what do you want? What do I want? To not be hurt. I want to not be blocked for 12 or 24 or 48 or 72 hours with no idea of what's going on until you decide that you're willing to come back. I want to not be put in situations where you say you block me because you don't want a wall of text, but in reality you want to hurt me fast and hard and then run away so that you don't hear the consequences of your actions.
"Your things are in the car. Please get them."
"OK. But only if you promise not to talk to me while I do."
"Sure. If that's what you want I won't talk."
The next day we texted and discussed things. Things were... emotional. Then she disappeared and stopped responding. That would have been fine, had her sister not called me looking for her since she hadn't been able to reach her. My heart dropped. Had something happened? Had she done something? I told her sister, "Hey, bad timing, but you should probably just go check her in person." And then, "And, not my business, but if you find her can you just let me know she's safe? Nothing else, I just want to know she's ok." Her sister said "Of course."
Queue to a few days ago. She asked me to hang out with her in person for a jazz thing. I said hey, look, I am very emotional right now. I want to see you but I can't today. Maybe we can talk in a few days?
Apparently that was the wrong answer.
"Honestly I'm just going to come get my stuff."
She did. And then she said "Leave me alone," so I did.
But I had no idea where we stood. Was this just another week-long block? I messaged her 4-5 days later.
"Hey, I just want to know if the plan is to go no contact or if there's a chance of staying friends or coming back to this in the future so I know whether to start grieving or not."
"Why are you doing this?"
"Sorry I don't want to be a bother I just want to know so I'm not on edge."
She called me. Man, that was hard.
I did my best not to cry. She asked me why I was crying. I said "Because you're my best friend and I don't want to lose you." She laughed. "You're the one that did this." She laughed. She laughed. She laughed.
I asked if theres a chance we would be able to either stay friends in the future or maybe come back to the relationship down the line after we had both worked on ourselves. She said "As long as you don't get emotional or controlling when you see me go on trips with other people."
Ow.
OK, maybe not. But what about controlling?
"You're trying to control me."
"What? When?"
"You're messaging my sister."
"I texted her once because I wanted to make sure you were safe." I then sent her the screenshots to prove this.
"You're contacting my family to try and control me. After we broke up."
"That was the day we broke up."
"LIES."
"What? That was Sunday?"
"You dropped my s*** off on saturday night. You texted my sister on sunday."
"Oh. Sorry. I guess it was saturday. Sorry, everything's been blending together in this wall of confusion and pain."
She laughed.
She said "Look, I'm just not going to be there for you anymore emotionally when you're never there for me."
"What was I supposed to do that night you wanted me to drop you off. Like, what was the best outcome?"
"Come over and hug me. Hold me."
"You said you didn't want to be next to me. You said you wanted me to take you home. And when I pulled in you just got out of the car and left without saying goodbye. Was I supposed to follow you into your house after all that?"
She changed the topic.
"But instead you chose to go have fun with your friends."
"Was I supposed to go home and cry alone? Can I not distract? I am not even sure why this started in the first place I am so confused and just wanted to stop crying and distract and go to this thing that you had made me confirm my attendance to just an hour prior to you leaving."
"Must have been nice having fun." She laughed loudly. "OK I have to get ready for work. Bye."
And then she hung up.
The amount of pain I felt in that moment. The amount of guilt. I did this. Even she said it. This was my fault my fault my fault. I shouldn't have reacted by dropping her stuff off. I shouldn't have done this. I shouldn't it was my fault.
But I had nothing left. She stopped caring about me so quickly. She laughed when I cried.
I sent her a final message and went no contact. I final sorry to top off the mountain of apologies I had given her over the last two and a half years.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I was just trying to stop hurting myself. I will love you forever and if you ever need me you know where I live and are always welcome in. I feel that I am causing you pain and maybe resentment so I will let you move on to somebody better for you now. Goodbye."
And then I went no contact.
It's been a few days now and the pain comes and goes. Sometimes it's unbearable. Sometimes it's replaced by anger. And sometimes I just wish she would have given my my shirt back, the one passed down to me from my mother, the one I held near and dear to my heart that she would steal to wear. She has the rest of my stuff but really all I want is the shirt and I'll be at peace. But I've now initiated no contact on my end so perhaps my shirt and what it means to me is gone. Maybe she threw it away already. I don't know.
And these emotions come and go and sometimes I laugh and then the laugh turns into a gasp as my chest is stabbed with the most agonizing pain I can imagine and I feel like a fish out of water, making ungodly noises as I hope to black out and make the pain stop. And sometimes I imagine her coming back through my door like she used to, walking in and kissing me and picking me up and carrying me to bed and laying me down and holding me, her skin against mine, her lips against mine, her soul against mine.
But now, when that happens, I just need to remember one thing:
She laughed.

A little backstory to set the scene. My sister (F18) “Emma” moved in with her boyfriend nearly a year ago. They live in his parents furnished basement and are both in school full time and working as they pay for their own bills. I’m currently living at home and I’m not working. I’ve graduated from high school and had a job, but I passed out at work and have been without one for a few months. I saved all my money whilst working so even though I live with my folks I help them with bills and pay a little rent. I’ve been focusing on my health issues ( both physical and mental ) and my family is aware of this. Well, my family often have cans and bottles and where I live you can take them in for about $30 a bag. Since Emma got her license before me and she no longer lives at home my parents have been giving her the bags of bottles to help support her ( it should be noted she doesn’t need the money, it’s more for “fun” spending. ) Well, because I’ve been using my car and my gas to run errands and drive my mom around I asked her if I could get the bottles instead. She agreed as long as I used it for gas. My sister was visiting for Mother’s Day, and I guess our mother told her she was no longer going to be giving her the bottles. I was in the kitchen when she stormed in staring out mom told her she could take the bottles, when I argued she said she deserved it more because she goes to work and school and I’m just a lazy nobody who sits on my ass all day. I was pretty stunned, so while she was wrestling the bag back to her car I just walked to my room. Later our mom asked why I seemed upset, I explained what had happened and she clarified that she did not tell her to take the bags and apparently after I left she started complaining to everyone about me to the point where even my dad (who I don’t even get along with) was screaming at her defending me. She was upset and couldn’t even look at me the rest of the night. We haven’t spoken since and I’m just so confused. We’ve had minor fights for years, but this is the first one since she’s moved out. Any advice? This is such a weird situation. TLDR; we’ve been giving my sister bottles to recycle for money. We decided I will start taking the bottles instead, so she took the bottles and insulted me to my face and behind my back. We haven’t spoken since.

My(15F) mom(48F) and I were attached at the hip since I’ve been younger. Mostly because she raised me by herself since my dad(75M) didn’t live with us. He wasn’t around much in my younger years, only really present when my grandfather died. My mom has mental illness, along with her own mommy issues. She never really got the chance to address them though, since my grandmother died before I was born. Onto the issues. I just recently moved to live with my dad because things with my mom had gotten really bad. Naturally I started remembering things. Like how she left me in my car seat as an incompetent 4/5 year old in the winter because I was “too much.” She also forbade my grandfather and I from speaking in the last years of his life, even though we lived in the same house. The worst of it though came with the panic attacks. I began bottling up my emotions because she only responded with anger or guilt-tripping (not a good idea) and the first one I had, I was backed into a corner because she wouldn’t stop approaching me, then she held me down on my bed and put her hand over my mouth when I started screaming. Instead of apologizing, she told me I was possessed by the devil. Who knew. I was 11 when that happened, and she still doesn’t see the problem with what she did. She has also said I’m not her daughter anymore, and that it was my “responsibility” that I tried to kill myself (something about life insurance which I don’t have) but I ran away a couple times and she only brought up calling the police when I came back “I was about to call I was so worried.” After both of my attempts, she would just call me dramatic, and never told my dad. She also called me manipulative whenever I did tell my dad anything that happened between us. Saying I wouldn’t have him to complain to much longer (implying because he’s older I won’t have as many years) a fact which she has seen me break down about. Not only all of this but small comments too. Watching sword af (Smosh dnd) “you like this stuff?” Wearing a crop top with no jacket “you look like a slut.” Anytime I try to set a boundary “you’re so ungrateful and spoiled.” I was telling her not to call my friend ghetto because she shouldn’t and she says slurs. Honestly I don’t know how much else I can write, so maybe I’ll update, but I needed to get it off my chest because Mother’s Day was very hard, but I still made an effort, calling her (she didn’t return my call, only “I appreciate the thought” and sent her Mother’s Day deals for food “I’m not going there.” But I don’t know if it was the healthiest thing for me to do. I’m at a loss

As in the title I (m29) have been together with my girlfriend (f24) for a year and a half and I am deeply in love with her. The issue I’m having though is I do not feel comfortable where I live anymore and would like to move. For context I moved to Australia in late 2022 and met my girlfriend at the end of 2022 and have been dating since then. We do everything together and she is my best friend and I can fully imagine spending the rest of my life with her. We communicate great when we argue and are very considerate of each other. But after living in Australia for a little while now I’m not so sure if I want to stay. I’m from the US and I don’t feel like I am a very good cultural fit here. I’ve tried making friends but it never really gets anywhere, being a foreigner it’s tough to get a job, I’m also on a student visa so I have limited time here. Another connection I have back to the states is I am a veteran and I obviously no longer have access to the same benefits as I would in the states. She is a foreigner here too and I’ve tried talking to her about moving with me to the states but she has said that she intends to make a life here in Australia. I have all the facts now, she doesn’t want to move, I don’t feel comfortable in Australia, it is much harder for me to make a life here than it is back home, but I am madly in love with this girl and I know she feels the same. I feel like I would be abandoning her if I left. Has anyone been in a similar situation or have advice on how to deal with this?

TLDR: our crazy neighbor stole our 1 month old kittens and now their mom cat is hissing and hiding since we moved them all inside. What should we do?
Our local stray cat, who sleeps on our porch, gave birth to 4 kittens about 4 weeks ago. We’ve been keeping the kittens on our enclosed porch (behind a gate) and all 4 of them disappeared a couple days ago. They’ve been returned to us (long story there), but we decided to move the kittens and the mom inside our place. The mom now wants to go back outside and anytime we try to reintroduce the kittens to the mom, she hisses and tries to hit them.
Does this mean that she’s rejecting them? Should we let the mom back outside away from her babies? The kittens are only a month old so from our understanding they need her. Any advice would be appreciated.

My grandma is awful to everyone, she says so many awful things to people and I don’t know how to deal with it. At the moment she is targeting me, my brother and my mother. It used to just be her and my grandfather making comments since my bother is a picky eater, but now it’s gotten worse. She knew at the time I was dealing with awful eating habits and thoughts about my body and my food, but when she was measuring me so we could make a piece of clothing for me she grabbed my stomach and told me to stop eating so many biscuits or something like that. It was about 2 years ago so I can’t remember the exact words. She then had a tantrum when I wanted my dad to come to the shop with us to get material, to which he ended up staying with the dogs so me, my grandma and grandad went, I was holding back tears after she said that and was throwing the tantrum, then had tears in my eyes on the car ride there. And hasn’t apologised at all (me and my brother are both minors). I’m autistic and my sensory issues are really bad, but she makes it all about her saying that any acomodations I need is ruining the time we spend together as a family. She has made awful comments to my brother too, like when he put his face by the window to see one of our cats then the cat walked away, he said the cat was gone and she said it was probably because of his ugly face. And since the time we have stood up for ourselves (mostly my parents talking to them about how awful she has been) my grandmother has just been so cold, distant and doesn’t talk much to us the few times we met up with them. She always compares me to my cousin, saying how many things she has done and how amazing she is and then whenever anything that I’ve done gets brought up she doesn’t give me much attention. My grandmother and my grandfather ignore my disabilities and say my mother is just codling me when she just doesn’t wasn’t my mental health to get really low like before to put it lightly because my disabilities are so dabilitating. She doubles down instead of apologising and admitting she’s wrong. We continually try to give them chances and they just show that they just don’t care. She holds grades when we stand up for ourselves. And that’s just to name a few times she has been and said awful things to us. She wants us to suck up our suffer and brush everything under the rug. None of us know what to do anymore, we’re already low contact but I don’t think we can go non contact. She has this medical thing and she could die at any time and I don’t know what to say to her to get her to understand, I don’t know what to do. No one knows what to do, not even my parents or uncle. They have tried speaking to her but nothing goes through. Please any advise would be heavily appreciated. I’m so lost on what to do.

Man, it's been a rough night. I'm 53 M, but tonight I feel every bit of it. I just can't seem to shake these thoughts about my wife passing away three years ago, especially since today is the anniversary of that day. It's like my mind won't let me rest, replaying memories and moments we shared together. The silence of the night just amplifies everything, making it feel like she's still here, but also reminding me of her absence. It's a weird mix of comfort and sadness that keeps me up probably going to be all night. If anyone want to chat just DM me.

I hope this will either give you comfort to know you're not alone, or that your ex may be regretful for whatever reason.
9 years, been together since 18 and I just could not do it anymore. She was the only person who enjoyed me without any qualifications, and she was the first person I ever felt comfortable being some amount of myself around. She was the only person I've ever felt such curiosity for, I just wanted to know everything about her. From her favorite things and worst memories, to the mundane annoyances and joys of her every day. I think she liked the attention I gave her or something, because I was just a mentally ill loser when we met and I never really changed, I just got a job. Still, she loved me with all her heart.
In the last few years, I relied on her to validate my worth since she was the only thing I really ever loved in my life and nothing beyond the relationship gave me pride/joy. She relied on me for support in basically every aspect of her life -- emotional, physical, financial, chores, even some career-wise. We took turns being mentally unwell, but this time I just couldn't wait for her turn to be up for whatever reason. She started getting better and doing a lot of those things she does when she is happy, and I just reached a point of burnout (from multiple sources) that I became slightly resentful of the support I gave while at the same time feeling like she was abandoning me to spend time with other people when I needed help.
I couldn't talk to her about it. I was afraid she wouldn't take it serious, or that by even voicing my feelings it would unravel all her progress. Things of that nature happen during any decade long relationship, and had, but I stopped trying to even talk about it during the last few months. I was just afraid. At the time of the breakup, when I blindsided her, I really thought every little thing way she let me down in regard to my unspoken expectations was proof she didn't like or care about me anymore. I was so wrong. I am just toxically independent and hid my feelings, while she lived her life like a normal person with a normal partner who loves and communicates. I really felt afraid of the dynamic we had to the point that I couldn't admit my feelings in part for fear of hurting her, and so I just decided to end it. Normal, right?
I pictured the breakup in my head for about a month before a big emotional event triggered a hypo-manic episode on top of my deep depression, and it has not gone how I thought it would. I thought she'd cry for a couple weeks, but because of the friends she'd be living with, she'd get over me pretty quick since she had support and love all around and people to spend time with. Maybe she'd get better faster without me hanging around and being a downer all the time? I thought I'd end up spending a couple weeks getting my affairs in order and practicing my knots before taking an early exit, or I'd end up becoming a hermit who just worked his stupid little job to live in his dumb little 1 bedroom apartment for the rest of his life. To that end, I removed myself from all the group chats and stopped talking to mutual friends, so that she could have all the support they could provide. They were 90% of the people I talked to outside of work. It was self-abuse wrapped up as me doing a favor for her, which I can see now.
How it's gone is that she ended up in the hospital for a weeklong hold and I'm cycling between pretending to practice radical self-care and literally beating myself up while drinking/smoking alone in our home on a monday night. I'm just so stupid for thinking this would be a good outcome for anyone. Now its been 7 months since I fucked it all up, and after some back and forth we've agreed to go NC until the 12 month mark. I can't stop thinking about her, the pain I caused her, all the times I told her I wanted to marry her before I just stopped wanting it one day. I can't stop thinking about getting back together with her, and just doing it all again because I had a really bad week or something. I have a much better understanding of myself/why I do things or think certain ways now, but that hasn't changed me really. I'm afraid I can't change, and even if I moved on, I'd just do this all again to a new person.
I guess I wish, at the very least, that I knew what I do now back when I dumped her. I was still figuring things out and told her a lot of stuff that I was only feeling in the moment but didn't really understand. Some of it just isn't true anymore, some of it didn't need to be heard, but a lot of it is just symptoms of greater problems that would have resolved themselves if I just waited a couple months. All of it hurt her more than she needed to be hurt. I wish I never hurt her in the first place.
At this point, I am choosing to do those things that healthy people do (exercise, rest, therapy, being social, family) because I'm hoping she'll appreciate it and will have been doing the same things when I see her next. But if we're not both strongemore resilient people when that happens, we can not start a new relationship without the threat of a repeat hanging over us. So we just can not start again. And then what? I fucked up my life and then spent a year building a new one just to not have her back in it? The obvious answer is "yes," but the only answer I can really believe in is "I wasted a year of effort building a life for a guy I don't even like and I didn't even get what I wanted out of it." Its such a stupid position to put yourself into and I hate myself more than ever for doing it. I want to be positive, but it's hard.
If you're reading this post before you decide to dump someone you still love and you're also unwell, just please get into therapy and submit to the process. If you end up staying a few extra months getting your head right before you break it off, that's great! You will have an easier recovery and not so much guilt! If you get right and figure out how to solve your relationship issues(literally just talking 90% of the time), awesome! But to not give yourself that help just opens you up to this pain and guilt and crisis, even if it is the correct decision.

For context, I’m a 25yo female, that comes from a mixed background (my mother 56F is a white woman from southern Europe, my father is from the Balkans and migrated to my country when he was younger). This is relevant and you will understand later.
I moved away from home as soon as I could when I was 18 after a not so good childhood, and currently live in another European country. My parents are divorced, my father is not really in the picture, I keep in touch with my mother on a daily basis and come visit her and the rest of the family once or twice a year. We never had the best relationship but since I moved out it improved a lot. I’d say we get along better when I’m far away from home.
Anyway, back to the reason of this post. I’ve been seeing this guy for more than a year, he’s great, we’re slowly getting to know each other and see where this is going. We are not in a rush but of course this is a relationship and I felt it was time to tell something more to my mother. I’ve always been quite open about my relationships and people I was dating, however since getting older I started being more private as I don’t think it would be good to mention every failed date to my mother (lol). We come from a typical small town in southern Europe, where people are bigots and close-minded. The news on the tv are constantly complaining about immigrants coming to our country and jadajadajada. The government is mostly right wing. So yeah, I didn’t really mentioned much about this guy, first of all cause I’m trying to keep it private but also because I could imagine her reaction, since she’s the standard average middle age woman that you find on Facebook without much culture. She is ignorant not as an insult but as in the real sense of the word: she ignores, she doesn’t inform herself and just believes whatever the media tells her.
Anyway, she suspected I was seeing someone for a while, I never really said much but I’ve been giving her a few hints in the past weeks and now that I came back to my hometown for a week she started being very curious. The day after I arrived we were casually talking before bed and she just kept asking “C’mon, don’t you have a pic of this guy? Show me! C’mon c’mon! I’m your mother!” so, one side of me didn’t wanna show her, the other one was excited cause at the end of the day I’m proud of my relationship and I was happy to tell her more (maybe naively hoping for a good outcome…). So without thinking much I showed her one of the best pictures of him. Literally in the millisecond while I was showing her the picture she said something like: “hope it’s not a n****” (WHATTT???).
At that point the phone was already on her face. It was done. She said it, and at the same time she saw the picture. She was speechless and I was too. I was ashamed of her. And sad.
She didn’t say anything more for the following 10 minutes, she went to her room and I went to mine. Afterwards she just asked “does he even work?!” And I told her “don’t worry about it, he’s better off than the both of us” just to make her shut up about that question that I found so disrespectful. This made me just so sad, and disappointed.
But the worst had yet to come. We didn’t speak much about it at all until today.
We were having a casual conversation during the afternoon when the relationship topic came out. In particular, we were talking about how your partner should improve your life and not making it worse, meaning he should make you happy, he should bring good positive vibes, get along etc. that’s what I was thinking and referring to. But she started being very materialistic, she asked me “so, in which way is he improving your life?!” in a very aggressive sassy tone “I don’t see anything changing“ she said. I was mentioning that he makes me happy when the conversation degenerated. All sort of things came out of it.
She started by saying:
“well, I truly hopes this will be just a friend and you will keep it like that”
then she continued with:
“please take birth control precautions before you regret it”
“don’t come to me later saying I didn’t stop you”
and the cherry on top was:
“I would have preferred if you told me you were a lesbian cause at least that is cool nowadays”.
I was speechless and I still am.
I asked her what is it that she doesn’t like and what is she basing her opinions on, since she literally knows nothing about him. She couldn’t answer. She kept repeating the same things over and over and she also said she would never want to meet him.
I have to mention that the few guys she met that I was dating were of different cultures, but she never had a problem with them, I guess because the skin color was the same… and in her mind there are probably foreigners of Class A, B, C…
I knew it wouldn’t be easy, but I neither expected such a bad reaction.
All this hurts me so much.
I don’t know what to do.
In my mind it neither makes sense cause she married an immigrant but it seems like she never really came to terms with it, she never really accepted it. For instance, I know nothing about my father’s culture, I never learned the language or interesting facts about it because nobody ever thought me anything about it. I only learned about my mother’s culture, the one of the country I lived in. And I always felt out of place because this country is extremely racist. The fact that my father was not a good husband or father has nothing to do with where he comes from. If a person is an idiot, is an idiot no matter what. And I told her this when we were talking. The fact that she had a bad experience doesn’t mean that I will, just because I’m seeing someone from a different culture. I also explained to her that I am myself an immigrant, since I’m living in another country. But it doesn’t seem to click in her head. And when I told her, to her face, that she is indeed racist, she obviously denied it, because how can she be racist if she married an immigrant herself?
And of course during today’s conversation there was some victim behavior on her side, because every time I come back here it’s certain that we are gonna fight and every time it happens I say stuff like “let’s see when and if I will come back again!”. So she was bringing that up cause the other day I said “the first racist comment I hear I’m gone”. She mentioned that, saying I don’t care about her, that she has to beg for me to call her (mind you, we write good morning, good night, text here and there during the day and we talk on the phone 3/4 times a week…). She even said that “she lost me already the moment I left”. Honestly, I don’t know what else more than this she expects from me if what I do is not enough already.
I don’t really know how to handle this. And I’m also just venting and need some support. I wished we could all act as adults, respect each other, have a normal relationship. Am I asking for too much?!
Any advice is highly appreciated.
I’ll be stuck in her house for the next two days and finally I’ll leave on Thursday. I want her to think about her actions and realize where she did wrong before I leave. I don’t wanna put this under the carpet cause it’s unacceptable.
TL;DR: my 25F mother 56F doesn’t approve of my boyfriend 28M just because of the color of his skin. Her opinion is based solely on a photo I showed her and at the same time she plays the victim and claims she lost me the moment I moved abroad and I don’t care about her even if we talk everyday. I wished there was a way to behave like adults. Advices on setting boundaries?

It’s making it super difficult for me to keep a job. Over the past 2 years I’ve changed multiple jobs only after staying there for like 2 months and this is my 3rd. I just started this job 3 weeks ago.
I work in advertising and I’m afraid I’m not cut out for it. I don’t think I’m talented enough to stick around here. I’m completely baffled that I seem to get these jobs. Whenever I’m unemployed, I’m already feeling much lighter. However, as soon as I start a job I get anxiety attacks. I’m seeing a therapist.
Over the past two weeks I’ve been vomiting every day before work. My heart races whenever we’re in a call. Additionally, I was told that my work is not up to the mark. Since the nature of the work is creative, I was told my work isn’t as “witty and creative” as is expected. It’s been 3 weeks since I joined and I have already taken 4 leaves.
At this point, I hope they fire me.

My husband/partner of 35 years has recently been diagnosed with liver disease, underwent paracentices, had to return to the hospital ER due to infections in the ascites fluid which accompanied HE. I’ve learned so much, but have so many questions. He’s 76, I’m 64. And he tips the scale at 360 pounds, and with his arthritic popping knees, is becoming more difficult for me to help him in his daily hygiene and care. That’s a lot of information and with it all there’s a mountain of grief, sadness, concern, and worry that I have to process. I’m trying to process it in small edible bites, so I will likely have many posts here, and my first one is about HE. He will sometimes say and believe things that are obviously impossible and non-sensical. He frequently will exhibit this when he’s waking from (many) daytime naps.
When discharged, he was taking 45ml of lactulose four times a day. His GI/Liver doctor has since dropped that to two doses, one in the morning and another around noon, so long as he has at least two bowel movements a day (he frequently has more). He’s also taking rifaximin twice a day. I keep hoping that his brain will fully clear and his odd statements/observations/beliefs will cease. But, when he has them, I’m wondering what the best way to deal with them are. We’ve developed a way of saying “You’re mixing a dream with reality” and he will usually acknowledge it, but sometimes he is quite insistent that there’s a fire under the tv, or he dropped a cookie, or that someone loudly dropped off some caged animals at our front door. (All three were today, with the last one being when our home-care nurse was stopping by for a visit.) He is typically not argumentative, but is starting to get frustrated with my excusing his talk as dreamtalk when the issues/imaginations seem quite real to him.
How do you deal sensitively and with kindness when someone you love is insisting on nonsense being reality?
Will he get fewer and fewer of these over time as the lactulose does its work?
Thank you in advance. Finding this sub is giving me hope and some sense of community.

I (34F) am so furious at life and the United States health care system. Sorry if this is long. Back story I got my first period in 5th grade the pain was so bad a passed out. I bled so heavily my mom was so concerned she brought me to the hospital. They basically told her that I (an 11 year old girl) had heavy period and bad cramps because I was over weight (by 15lbs) and need to exercise more. I bled for 8-10 days every month after (and still do). Every month became torture the week leading up to my period I’d be in debilitating pain and when it finally came I would bleed so heavy I’d have to wear 3-4 pads at a time. I couldn’t go to school. By 9th grade I was missing 2 weeks of school every month. They were threatening to not pass me. Doctor after doctor. Gynecologist after gynecologist all just telling me I’m being dramatic, maybe I just don’t like school and I’m lying, I need to walk the pain off, one after the other. It was disgusting. I stopped eating because maybe if I was underweight they’d take me seriously. One doctor when I was 12 actually looked me in the face and said oh honey it’s a shame you aren’t older we could just put a baby in you that cures it. Like what?!?!? I’ve lived with that lie my whole life. I’ve had laparoscopy after laparoscopy, rounds of that prostate cancer shot twice ( which they totally lied about and said was the same as a birth control shot comparatively). I have been made to feel insane like I’m a liar that I am causing the pain to myself. Told I could never have kids. And yet I miraculously got pregnant on my own twice. While on birth control (cause they all stop working after a certain period of time) and that lie that little lie I’ve held on to the light at the end of the tunnel “oh if you have kids it’ll cure itself” it’s not true!!! I’ve been on constant continuous birth control since I was 12 years old. All of them. Because they stop working after a while. Well after my second son I developed hypertension and became a stroke risk in hypertensive crisis. The first thing they did was tell me I can never take birth control again. (Im not overweight this time so at least they can’t blame it on that) My husband got a vasectomy cool. But I forgot after two pregnancies and decades of birth control how bad it is. I’ve been off the birth control for about a year now and each month is filled with a new torture. The pain is excruciating and knocks me off my feet. I’ve now delivered two children and can 100% say I want to go back in time and kick the ass of all of those doctors and medical staff that were so horrible. The mental health and eating disorder issues could have all been avoided if maybe one person had taken me seriously. Sorry for the long rant. I’ve been holding this in for a long time. And also anyone has any suggestions I am all ears. I’m looking into maybe getting a hysterectomy but I heard even that’s not a guarantee?

I'm a final year master's student. I've always been a very big introvert and had trouble making friends. I moved to a new city for my master's. I had an online friend who also decided to pursue the same course at the same college. Let's name this friend A; A was very good-looking and an ambivert. She made friends easily, while it took some time for me to open up.
There are only four guys in my college, and one of the guys was from A’s city, and naturally, they became friends.
Now this guy, let's call him N, was not looking for anything like that and he used to maintain his boundaries with everyone. He started talking to me, asking for my help with notes and stuff, as I scored the highest marks in class. I started helping him with studies, and we kind of grew close.
During this time, A would talk to everyone in class and pretend in front of me that she is a highly introverted person, which I found strange. She was very competitive with me, and every time I would get my answer sheets, she would compare marks and stuff. She even told me that the guy N was into her. I found this a little sad, and I started maintaining my boundaries with N because I started to develop feelings for him.
I completely stopped talking to him because I knew there was no sense in pursuing this further. And N got worried, and then one day, he barged in front of me and asked if we could go out to eat. A was with me, so she invited herself. So he came and sat with me, and later A left because she felt unattended since N was talking to me.
Later, N and I went for a movie, and he confessed that he liked me, and when I asked about A, he mentioned he only saw her as a friend.
Cut to today, it's been two years, and our love has only grown stronger. I have completely cut off A from my life, even as an acquaintance, because she started creating problems between us, and N has been nothing but supportive of it. Since we both are in the mental health field, he is very supportive and caring.
In the final semester, I became friends with two people; let's call them S and T. We were kind of close, and I was happy to finally have girlfriends. I never spoke about why I cut A out, and they never asked.
Now A started becoming close with T, to the point where T stopped hanging out and talking to me. My other friend S, who never liked A, was supportive of this. We tried to talk it out, but it never worked.
Since my college is almost over, with only three days left, I will be coming back home. I don't want to confront them again. Everyone, including S, T, A, went to hang out together with a few other friends; they never called me.
S and I had planned to go out today, but S never called me and never picked up my call.
My heart is really heavy, and I don't know what to do.

I will apologise in advance for the long post.
I have been with my boyfriend for about a year and a half. I am his first girlfriend, this is my 2nd serious relationship. We moved in with each other at around 9 months and things have changed between us significantly.
We have both never lived with a partner before. Initially my partner was incredibly attentive, was always wiling to listen to my good and bad days, thoughtful, considerate, romantic, understanding etc. Things were pretty good with us! I was shocked because I hadn't really experienced this type of relationship before. We had small tiffs but we were always able to talk about things and sort it out. Our sex life was pretty good! We both liked pleasing each other.
It was almost a immediate change since we moved in. My boyfriend became pretty distant, to me it seemed like he didn't really like having me around. I tried giving him space and you know let him figure out his routine. His work was pretty busy, as was mine.
I was working overtime for about 5 months prior to us moving in together, and found myself burnt out maybe a month into us living with each other. My sex drive reduced, which was frustrating for me because I love sex with my boyfriend. We still had sex maybe once a week, and occasionally twice a week. But admittedly I did start getting frustrated because my partner initiated sex every day, even though I had mentioned to him that my sex drive has reduced and I'm not overly keen on sex right now. A lot of the time I felt obliged and wasn't really into it. He also had changed a fair, and the only effort he really put in, was to hace sex (and even so it was much effort and I didn't orgasm 80% of the time)
I noticed he stopped really taking interest in my life, stopped putting effort in with my family, he would often be on his phone when I was telling him things, we stopped going on dates. He knows I appreciate having a meal together, so I try to plan my dinner with his but often he would eat without me. We didn't do anything for our one year anniversary, I did plan a dinner but I ended up cancelling it because my partner was disinterest and indifferent to it. He seems to only compliment me physically (either my tits or ass) and rarely anything outside of that. It almost felt like he started to resent me and I wasn't really sure why. A few days ago I had a pretty scary road rage incident where someone ran me off the road and threatened me with a knife. My boyfriend said he would help me with the police report because I was really distraught. He never ended up helping me, he also didn't really seem to care that this happened. It was a bit shit, I thought he would have some sort of concern in regard to it but there wasn't. I got mad and vented my frustrations about his huge behaviour change since we've been living together.
He told me he kind of checked out emotionally when I wasn't really keen on sex. (I'd like to add that my sex drive improved since I started working normal hours again, which was about 2 months ago, so we have sex about 3 times a week) Hes told me that he doesn't feel these things intrinsically naturally ( like caring when bad things happen to your partner). But I feel like a lot of those things come pretty naturally if you love someone
My gut feeling is that, he doesn't actually love me, and wants someone to have sex with regularly. I've been trying to ignore the fact that his prime interest with me is only sex but it's starting to feel that way. He does take steriods as well btw. If I don't keep up with him sexually he just disconnects, I don't want to feel like I have to have sex to have a present partner that cares for me. I used to feel cared and loved by him but now its like he's someone else.
What does this mean ?

So I’ve been out of collecting for the last few years since scalpers ruined it, but I’ve been collecting since I was 5 years old, and have learned a lot about collecting.
If you’re a serious collector, I’d recommend joining the Facebook groups: - AUSTRALIAN COINS & NOTES - Buy Swap Sell by FNQ Groups - ACBC - Australian Coins Banknotes Collectables - Coins And Banknotes Australia (CBA) Buy Sell Swap
Those were the main 3 when I was buying/collecting a lot. The admins are all really great too. You’ll learn a lot in those groups.
IN REGARDS WHAT TO LOOK OUT FOR
If you’re collecting for value, there’s the obvious ones like the $1 ‘mule’ from 2000, $2 Red Poppy from 2012, 20c ‘wavy’ from 1966, round 50c from 1966, etc.
A good way to know if a coin is valuable is often based off its mintage.
In regards to $2 coins, you want anything really with a mintage less than 2 million. So 2012 Red Poppy (0.5 million), 2013 Purple Coronation (1 million), 2015 Red Lest We Forget (1.46 million), 2014 Green Remembrance Day (1.85 million) are the main ones, but there are others of course.
For $1, it’s somewhat similar, in regards to NOT error coins, but mintage wise, you’ll want to look for 1992 MOR (0.008 million - very rare), 2016 50th Anniversary of Decimal Currency (0.56 million), 2021 MOR (0.16 million), 2015 Anzac (1.4 million).
Surprisingly, the ‘A’, ‘U’, and ‘S’ stamped coins from 2019 with a mintage of 1.512 million never really was super desired, but it might become more valuable in future.
50c, 20c, & 10c don’t have much worthy of collecting for low mintage wise. 50c there are a couple of low mintage years for COA (1985 & 1993 - 1 million mintage, 2019 (IRB design) & 2020 (JC design) - 1.1 million mintage). The lowest mintage commemorative 50c coin is Eddie Mabo (2017 - 1.4 million).
20c lowest mintage year is 1988 (0.2 million) for platypus design.
10c only has one commemorative design in circulation, being the 2016 50th Anniversary of Decimal currency design on the obverse side of the coin (6.2 million mintage) but the lowest mintage for circulating 10c is from 2011 (1.7 million mintage).
5c I find interesting because before the release of 50th Anniversary of Decimal Currency 5c coin was released in 2016 (mintage 4.8 million - only circulated commemorative design for 5c), collectors often searched for the (previously) lowest mintage 5c coin, being the 1972 design (mintage 8.3 million). The lowest mintage for 5c now is the 2019 (JC design) with a mintage of 2 million.
When it comes to error coins If you’re noodling, check every coin for any errors, but it’s fairly widely agreed (to my knowledge) that $1 coins are most commonly found errors.
For $2 coins, the main error is: - Misstamped coloured coins (more common with the coloured $2 coins released in newer years, often the colour of the coin will be incorrectly on the ‘heads’ side of the coin, leaving the ‘tails’ side colourless)
For $1 coins, the main errors you’re looking for are: - 2000 mule (double rim on MOR coin) - ‘Spew Roo’ (error in design on MOR coin coming from the ‘mouth’ of the kangaroo up the top of the coin, not the main kangaroo) - ‘Rabbit Ears’ (error in design on MOR coin similar to ‘spew roo’ but on the kangaroos ears) - ‘Three Leg Roo’ (error on MOR coin where a background kangaroo is missing a leg) - Centenary Federation Rotation Error (2001 Centenary Federation coin is rotated different from the obverse side to the reverse side)
For 50c coins the main one is: - Millennium ‘Incuse Flag’ (on 2000 Millennium 50c coin where the star on the flag is affected)
For 20c, the main one is: - ‘Wavy’ 1966 coin (the ‘2’ on ‘20’ is notably different, giving it a ‘wavy’ affect)
For 5c, the main one is: - 2007 ‘Double headed’ (a 5c coin with 2 ‘heads’ sides, made in 2007) arguably up there as one of the most valuable coins
For all coins: - Rotation errors (more common with some coins than others, but a possibility nevertheless) - Misstampted coins (where the printing of the coins design is not inline with the actual coin) - Double head (very very rare, but a possibility nevertheless)
There are really so many possibilities when it comes to errors, checking each coin thoroughly for any misprints, rotation errors, etc. is a good idea when noodling
At the end of the day, your coin is worth as much as someone is willing to pay. Coin prices fluctuate. Holding onto coins to sell when major events happen, such as a death in the monarch or if Australia decided to become Independent and break from the Monarchy, would cause an INSTANT increase in coin prices, that is guaranteed to fluctuate. Sometimes coins will take YEARS to increase in price, take the 2017 Planetary Set as an example.. RRP $180 and at its peak it was selling for as much as $14,000 a few years ago, now it’s on eBay for $6,000. When checking the value of your coins, eBay listings are NOT accurate ways to value them. Always check the sold listings for a more accurate value.
Links:
Mintage: https://www.ramint.gov.au/circulating-coins#
Error coin (semi) list: https://numismatics.org.au/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/vol-27-harris.pdf