So I'll preface this by saying my mom raised my sis(32f) and I(28f) by herself. My sister has a thing where she always needs to help, I've told her she has a thing for down on their luck men but she doesn't see it. I have my issues but this is not about me rn. So although we are religious we aren't crazy religious, but my mom was clear about being a parent before she is a friend growing up. As adults she's much more a friend and as such, although she does tell us her opinions she lets us make our mistakes even if she has to say I told you so while helping clean the mess up. When I finished school I moved down to where my mom was taking care of her grand mother my great grand to help out. While I knew my sis was sneaking around about something I didn't really think much of it. This would have been about two or three years ago, it didn't become obvious until after I moved and she was left alone. I'd visit here and there and realize she was spending much more time away from home until she said she was dating a guy who livednot far away. My mom dislike him what seemed immediately but I tried giving him a chance and convinced my mom as such. After a while my sister's actions became more obvious, I would still pop in by the house and spend the night or a couple days and I toiced she started spending the night out even when she said she'd be home later. She didn't ask me to lie but there was a distinct 'don't let mom know' vibe.again religious household, we weren't allowed to sleep over at men's homes like that. We could spend a night by a male family friend but often sleeping there is a big no no. So I'd deflect when I was visiting and our mom called and asked about her and why she wasn't answering her phone. As time passed I slowly began disliking her bf and his family and the fact that I noticed on my visits that the house felt less lived in. Her bf and his family is all about public opinion and just shy of showing off. Everything has to be big and grand and a spectacle, I noticed her bf would at times be flippant about her opinions and belongings. He'd even makes insensitive remark, ill also mention here that my sister has her degree and a well paying job while I don't think he has his and he is self employed with irregular work. My sister would often jump in to help him organize his business but to him the business is his and she has nothing to do with it. So even if she handles the admin stuff and organize his money records and makes calls, all profit is his and she has nothing to get from it. Gradually she began staying at his house that his parents live in along with his siblings, it's a large enough house that they could all live there in comfort since his parents had nice jobs and they built a house to match. My sister eventually got pregnant for him, which wasn't surprising because she'd been sleeping in his room more than her own bed at home, a male family friend called it even before she was pregnant that they were banging. Muchless my mom wasn't happy but there wasn't much you can do after the fact. My mom and I did our best supporting her and she practically moved in with him. Our house needs repairs and while she was pregnant I tried encouraging her to fix what she could before the baby came, like the best part of the house. She didn't, and even while pregnant she did stuff he should have been doing like picking up heavy objects and taking care of his animals. muchless he Lost points in my eyes, I threw her a babyshower which my mom funded and his family brought the drinks and he tried getting us to hold it by his homeby nagging her even though we planned it, and the only reason she didnt agree was because i told her i wasnt going there to keep it and up there it would turn into a huge long party. The baby came via c-section and even on their way to the hospital he made her wait while he went to have a chat with someone, she came home to us to recover because we ere closer to the hospital at only 30 minutes away, and while his mom and one sister visited he jokingly mentioned how my sister has to lose weight this is right after she had the kid. Eventually he kept bugging her to come to his house that was and hour away and she kept telling him she couldn't make the journey just yet because of her stitches. Eventually she gave in to his nagging and I drove her up, when it came to the christening because he is a different denomination of Christian he insisted their child be dedicated under his, all of this was after he announced the child's name without getting her approval and fussing about the one name she wanted to give while he gave two names. Only his Godparents were able to stand up because my sister's picks were not of the denomination the christening was taking place under. The brunch they(the guy) insisted on was cooked by my mom and me and the after party food was done by his side, although my sister did tell him to order a certain amount of a type of dish that he didn't do because his mom said not to, they later ran out of the item. He told my sister his mom knew better because she had more kids than our mom when my sister asked him to tell his mother not to do some stuff to their kid after she had already asked her and she disregarded her. His mother and sister looks after their kid while my sister goes to work and his mother bundles the baby up and leaves it in a hot room. Both his mother and sister began treating my sister badly and his mother has a diagnosis of early signs of memory loss which my sister has began attributing her bad treatment to which i called bull on. He doesn't allow her to take the kid to funerals and once said something insensitive about the death of my sister's friend's mom, this rules does not apply to his family funerals. When my sister told him to let his sister travel because shed be late to pick me and my mom up after he'd made us late previously for something similar for a pre planned and paid church brunch he told her that we should learn to travel although my mom and I both travel 90% of the time and it wasn't the first time he had made them/heUS late. Later my sister and his mom and sister han a falling out one I told her was going to happen and she didnt listen to after his mom began acting like my sister's kid was her own after she had it and he was carrying their kid for his mom while she was left alone and was asked to send/provide the milk, they made her postpartum worst than it should have been. Both my mom and I told her to move back to the house which she did for a couple days before she was right back sleeping at his place. He regularly makes in my opinion insensitive remarks and everything must be his way from what I've noticed. I've also noticed it's difficult for her to move back home, the first time he stayed the house with strong pesticide so she couldn't stay, attempt Number 2 her car was hit(not really his fault) but he was park badly,and the most recent attempt at organizing to go home, her car was stolen and scrapped (he had nothing to do with the stealing) aitah if I get feup with her and his bull and the fact that I've secretly begun hoping they breakup and encourage it in small ways? Are both my mom and I wrong for disliking him as much as we do? There are other things he's has done that makes me dislike them being together no to mention he keeps his family stuff away from her and has flat out practically told her his family business has nothing to do with her. To clarify there are 3 homes traveled between, his family, our home near his and our second home thats an hour away. My family isn't rich the home my sister stays at is our parent marital home but after they split it was abandoned for a long time until we moved back as teenagers and our now second house was my great grand's who has now passed and we just live there now.

Just a little rant about being made to feel shitty by other people's feelings on continuing to work after giving birth. I'm pregnant with my first right now, due in early November.
My mom was always very bitter about the fact that she had to continue working when my sibling and I were growing up; I literally never cared that she was working, but she was always really upset about it and talked about how she hated to leave us etc etc. She'd talk about how a mother isn't supposed to be away from her kids. It was kind of difficult to deal with that, there were so many other issues with the way I was raised, her being a working mom was like, the LEAST of the problems lol.
Anyways my mom always implied that she hoped I wouldn't work when I became a mother one day, and I always responded that that would be nice, but would require either marrying rich or being independently wealthy, which I wasn't counting on lol. She always responded in return that people who have to work just don't plan well, which I think is idiotic and super judgmental, but whatever. Especially coming from a woman who herself had to continue working? So like, are you saying you didn't plan well? No, it's just my evil dad made her keep working (my dad DEFINITELY has his flaws but like, it wasn't abnormal in the 80s for both parents to work?! But she paints herself as a total victim in this situation).
My husband has a good job, but not so good that he can support me, a baby, and our animals while living in an expensive city (and no, moving's not a choice, his career is here and we can't change locations for at least a few more years).
Anyway my mom was talking to me during my commute today and she was going on about how she always hoped I wouldn't have to work with a baby at home, and it just made me feel like shit.
Like, I'd LOVE to be able to stay home. I think a lot of moms would love to be able to not worry about finances and just stay home and magically step back into a job waiting for them when theyre ready to go back, but that's just not life. My husband and I talked it through, and it's just not feasible for us. His mom actually did stay home with him and his siblings when they were young, and he said they struggled enormously financially as a result. I don't even necessarily want to stay home and raise them through childhood, I just always imagined I'd at least get a year of mat leave (I'm from Canada, but we don't live in Canada now) and I'm feeling sad that I won't get that much time to spend at home with my baby for the first year of their life.
I'll be able to take the meager maternity leave offered in this country (three months and then maybe a month of vacation time i'll be able to tack on), and then I'll have to go back to work. That's just the reality. My mom was an RN working night shifts; at least I'm just a schoolteacher. My hours are a lot more forgiving than hers were. And overall stress levels much lower.
I just hate how she casually drops the 'I wish you didn't have to do that, I always hoped you wouldn't have to work with a baby at home' like I have any control over it, or that it's a result of my poor choices. As though I did it on purpose. And like I have no idea that it'll be difficult, or that I'll be sad about it.
Like, I met my husband and fell in love with him. He's an engineer with a Ph.D and works extremely demanding hours, he's doing the best he can to provide, but life is expensive, and we need my income, too. I think it's more a failure of a capitalist system that life is so goddamned expensive, that housing and groceries etc are so out of control that even my high earning husband can't support a small family in a modest home on his income. I can't even say these things to her, because rather than hear me, she'll just take it as a personal attack and act like a slapped puppy and tell me I'm soooo mean to her.
She has always made comments about difficult parts of my life and it feels like she hints that theyre a result of my inadequacy somehow. She was always hassling me to travel more, but I was always underemployed and in student debt. She pushed me to go to university, and I am glad I have my degree, but then it was like she was shocked that I was saddled with a ton of student debt after and couldn't spend months at a time traveling the world and not working when I was barely earning enough to make ends meet, despite my best efforts. And then she would guilt me for not being able to financially help me more? Like, why are you making ME feel bad about the fact that you can't help me? I'm not even asking for your help! But she always had hundreds or thousands to blow on clothes and makeup, wine and cigarettes, expensive lunches or dinners out etc. While simultaneously guilting me that she couldn't pay for my tuition (she found ways to blame my dad for that too lol).
And when I expressed feeling hopeless about my student debt and not being able to earn enough to get out of it anytime soon, she would just try to put a bandaid on it saying stuff like 'education is never a waste of time!' Like yeah, I'm not saying it is, i'm just saying i am DROWNING in debt because I can't find a job that pays more than 1800 dollars a month lol. Thankfully I'm finally making more headway on that debt and earning a little more these days, and there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
She just always picks at me and this feels like a particularly obnoxious one. She's also saying she'll be staying here 'as long as possible' after the birth and I'm just dreading it, hoping she'll actually be helpful.
Anyways I'm just looking for reassurance that I'll be okay as a working mom, and that my baby will still love me even if I have to leave them in a baby daycare at four months old LOL. Moms who went back to work less than a year later, was it okay? Was it terrible? I'm almost hoping that after four months I'll be grateful for the "break", or for some time to have an identity outside of being 'mom'. Would love thoughts on this. I'm also worried about the physical issues with being postpartum, like, will I still be in pain four months later? Hard to get around? Not to mention the emotional stuff.
Anyways, thanks for listening to my long winded rant. Working moms are awesome and SAHMs are awesome and I'm hoping we can all support each other here.

I know there's been a lot of talk of her being pregnant (I think she is). I 100% do hope she has a healthy pregnancy if she really is. But I just can't help on feeling anxiety for her only bc I kinda relate to her on the topic of being "overwhelmed" "stressed" and having "bad mom days" frequently.
I’m a first time mom, and had my baby a month after her. I have frequent bad mom days and sometimes feel overwhelmed. I never try to look annoyed of my baby in front of her or talk to her like I’m annoyed of her (I notice ken does this with kamp thats why I bring it up). But I'm no where near ready to have a second bc of how I feel rn with my first. So it makes me think, why would she think she's ready?! Like I know she wants a big family, but what's so wrong with having a 3-5 year age gap. Like she definitely should've waited to have a second instead of rushing into it. I just fear she's going to be stressed during pregnancy, and postpartum with a toddler and newborn. I hope she isn’t, and she has more help the second time around, but I can’t help but to feel anxiety for her.

They asked me what hours I could work and I told them I would work part time nights while my husband works days so I can be with the baby during the day. I'm currently 8 weeks postpartum. Originally asked my employer for extended leave of 12 weeks but came to find out you must use vacation time which I planned to use in July and when my 9 year old daughter is off from school. HR did give me a few days to decide but I felt like I had come to a decision out of fear of losing my stupid vacation pay and now I could card less. I spoke with my mom about it who thinks I should stay home with the baby and thinks it's too early. She says I should be a sahm which I could do I just would not have the financial freedom of having a job. I've been mulling it over in my head since. I'm not even sure if I will be able to go back ft eventually like I am supposed to so for financial reasons. Daycare for my infant and school age daughter would exceed what I would make this summer If I go back ft. I also have my car note which is $424 a month. Not to mention cost of commute. I felt lime I was put between a rock and a hard place when I told them I'd come back. They already put me on the schedule and I spoke to my manager who was extremely thrilled to have me back even if it was part time. I would feel like a jerk going back and saying I change d my mind. I just don't feel ready. My baby has also been having feeding issues and I feel like I need to be there with him more. We found out he was low weight and just started bottle feeding and me pumping exclusively now after he would latch from nursing due to tongue tie. He also doesn't like formula to supplemnt with rn so I feel like pumping is a ft job in itself because I barely make just enough rn. I'm losing sleep with anxiety over this and am not sure what to do.

29F, 5’9”, 200lbs Pmhx: anxiety, endometriosis, 2 vaginal deliveries (PPH with each), had to do curettage and manual clot extraction on most recent delivery, gastritis/esophagitis Medications: 10 mg lexapro, 20 mg lexapro Surgical hx: 2 endometriosis excisions (mainly from cul de sac region), lap appy, ankle ORIF
*6 months postpartum
For about 3 months I’ve been getting terrible upper abdominal (mainly on the right) and upper back pain, along with nausea and vomiting. Been worked up for gallstones (US only showed a 7mm polyp, no other signs of Cholecystitis), tried treating it as a UTI with high dose abx, and I had an EGD which showed moderate gastritis and LA class A esophagitis. I’m an RN in endoscopy so they squeezed me in, but my coworkers say this pain sounds like gallbladder pain.
To note, I have been under quite a bit of stress with my 6 month old requiring frequent hospitalizations, working full time and caring for a toddler. But the pain gets like 8/10 just searing across my abdomen and back, so I feel like it’s more than that.
I went to ED last night when I couldn’t stop vomiting despite odt zofran. US and labs were all normal besides the tiny gallbladder polyp. Referred me to general surgery to get gallbladder out electively. Which I’d rather not do unless I’m sure that’s what this is
Any suggestions? I haven’t been eating well due to pain and nausea. Gallbladder? Could it be endometriosis back? (I know I’d have to have surgery to be sure) just stress? I’m miserable

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These are weaknesses you may have that signal a toxic person (narcs, psychopaths and emotional vampires) to grab hold of you for dear life.

1. Pleaser

People pleasers prioritize making others comfortable and happy, ahead of their own needs.
Pleasers feel uncomfortable when someone else is unhappy and they accommodate others to alleviate this sensation.
The desire for others to like and approve them often outweighs the desire to act in their own best interest.
This stems from not enough self-love, usually a survival mechanism from childhood. Imbalanced empaths, who lack self-love, tend to be people pleasers. Codependents are extreme pleasers.
If you are a pleaser, a rule of thumb is to remember it’s ok to care about the needs of others when 1) they are deserving or 2) it’s not to your detriment.
At least one of the two must be true.
Signs of a pleaser include: habit of inconveniencing oneself for others, tendency to agree with others and not hold your own opinion, fawning, sucking up or paying excessive compliments to others, excessive politeness (ex. not speaking your mind),
being overly compliant, self-deprecating or shrinking to makes others feel better about themselves or not be intimidated by you, and apologizing when it’s not your fault.
A pleaser is a goldmine for a toxic person. A selfless person is the yin to selfish person’s yang.

2. Rescuer

Closely related to the pleaser, the rescuer wants to help and save others from harm or ruin.
But by taking responsibility for a toxic person’s shortcomings and fixing their self-imposed problems, the rescuer enables the toxic person’s weaknesses.
The rescuer’s fatal flaw is their need to understand and their belief that they can change others.
Rescuers want to understand what made the toxic person suddenly abusive or manipulative, so they can solve the problem together and return to the happy moments.
However, there is no rhyme or reason to a toxic person’s abuse.
An emotional vampire will never reveal to you that they intentionally start drama, chaos and problems to harvest your negative emotional reactions, which is a form of fuel, that makes them feel superior and in control of you.
The rescuer’s continued engagement in trying to fix things and their perseverance in trying to make the toxic person see the error of their ways, while hopeless, is enjoyable to the toxic person and provides them with narcissistic supply.
If you are a rescuer, respect yourself by disengaging from abusive individuals and situations. Remember that love — true love — and abuse are not compatible.
You do not need to understand why or how a person could do xyz harmful behavior (psst it’s because they are toxic) nor are you responsible or capable of changing a grown adult who is not interested in changing.
Toxic people love rescuers because you will take responsibility for fixing the problem, enabling the toxic person to continue evading accountability and carrying on in their selfish ways.

3. Desperate

Desperation is a consequence of low self-esteem.
Desperate men and women are quick to settle for less in friendship, love and life.
Low self-esteem can stem from a multitude of things —
Are you overweight and out of shape? Perhaps you have been stuck in a low paying job for a long time? Maybe you have a speech impediment or are showing signs of balding at an early age?
Perhaps you’ve internalized society’s lies that you’ve hit the wall or rolled over the cliff at your age? Are you divorced or a single parent? A hopeless romantic who feels less than without a partner? And the list goes on.
If you are desperate, work on your self-esteem.
If the root cause for your low self-esteem is within your power to change, better yourself by working on it. If it is out of your control, then work on your mindset — begin to value and accept yourself as you are.
Even as you work to improve yourself, appreciate and approve of yourself for who you are right now. There is only one you in this entire world.
You rarely can attain to good things without believing you are worthy and deserving of them. Most importantly, you must release the people and situations that do not serve you.
Toxic men and women love to target desperate individuals, because you want a relationship so bad that you are likely to ignore red flags, overlook boundary violations and skip through the vetting process. You badly want the fairy tale and so you are easily seduced by love bombing.

4. Damaged

You are a victim or survivor of traumatic abuse, who has not healed.
The pain of betrayal weighs heavily and you just can’t hold it in anymore.
You want to tell the truth, share publicly what has happened to you, to expose your abuser(s) and to get support or validation from others.
Doing this prematurely makes you bleeding prey in a sea of sharks.
It is important to talk through trauma as part of the healing process. But if you have been abused, especially if it’s fresh, only discuss your trauma with safe people and in safe spaces.
A safe person is someone who has been properly vetted and only has your best interest at heart. It can be an experienced therapist or counselor, or trusted spouse, family member or friend. This person is clearly on your side.
Flying monkeys are not safe. Anybody that is trying to play Switzerland between you and your abuser is unsafe, especially when you haven’t harmed the abuser. New romantic interests and acquaintances cannot be deemed safe.
A safe space can be an anonymous online support group (ex. reddit). In-person and non-anonymous support groups may be helpful but they are also hunting grounds for predators.
Social media is not a safe space to air your trauma. Neither should you signal to predators that you are damaged by publicly displaying online your membership to abuse recovery support groups.
Confiding in unsafe persons and spaces will result in you being used to satisfy people’s curiosity and being gossiped about at best, or you being gaslit, manipulated and re-traumatized at worst.
Do not allow strangers on the internet or people who do not care about you to pick apart your trauma or debate this and that way about abuse you know you experienced.
Besides oversharing and being a victim of past abuse, other indicators of being damaged are: a desire to be rescued, fearing abandonment and excessively craving to be loved.
Toxic people love to prey on damaged men and women because you are vulnerable.
Sharing your vulnerabilities and trauma with a toxic person — and before you have healed — lets them know to what extent they can get away with abusing you and how best to go about it. After all it’s happened already before. It also shows that you are gullible and prime for being abused again.

5. Overly Forgiving

Forgiveness is the process of letting go of feelings of resentment and vengeance towards a person who has wronged you.
When a person has truly forgiven, a reconciliation is possible (though not required) when the abuser is repentant — meaning they are sincerely remorseful and have changed their ways.
An unrepentant abuser, who is still toxic, is undeserving of reconciliation, regardless of whether you have forgiven them.
Forgiveness is a process that can take time depending on the severity of the wrong experienced.
While forgiveness benefits our mental health, it is healthy only when a person feels in their heart ready to do so.
People who are overly forgiving overlook abuse, forgive too quickly, never set meaningful consequences and reconcile with impenitent abusers.
Unfortunately, this behavior makes the toxic person take you for granted and reinforces the toxic person to remain the same.
Toxic people respond only to consequences.
If you are overly forgiving and struggle with setting meaningful consequences, please read resource—Yeah Boundaries! The Definitive Guide: How to Set Effective Boundaries with Toxic People.
It will give you effective frameworks for setting consequences with toxic people that hold them accountable and discourage their abusive behaviors, without abusing them reactively.
Throw in a skilled manipulator, pressure tactics and a sprinkle of distorted religious propaganda, and it’s typically game over for the overly forgiving. Overly forgiving people are magnets for toxic people because you are the ultimate enabler.

6. Overly Emotional

This toxic trigger is for both the overly emotional and the emotionally dysregulated.
Overly emotional people are easily upset and express their emotions in ways that are considered by others to be exaggerated or inappropriate.
Dysregulated people cannot or will not manage their emotional states, resulting in intense or prolonged emotional reactions that deviate from societal norms and are disproportionate to the accepted range of emotional reactions for a given incident.
They have extreme emotional reactions such as angry outbursts, lashing out violently or aggressively, destroying and throwing objects, intense crying, self harm or threats of suicide.
There’s overlap but I would distinguish between the two in that overly emotional is more waterworks (“too sensitive”) whereas with dysregulation you may get the adult temper tantrum (often calculated).
If you have either trigger, the key is to manage and control your emotional reactions. A medical professional or therapist may be of help.
Your emotional reactions, positive or negative, are the lifeblood and fuel for toxic people. It is the reason behind everything they do — from love bombing to crazy making — as they cannot survive without a continuous supply of it.
Stoics are no good. Prolonged no contact is a stake through the vampire’s heart.
You, on the hand, are overly emotional or dysregulated. The drama-loving toxic person carefully selects you for your frequent and heightened emotional reactions. You are a prized fuel source.

7. Gold Digger

It’s often said that a woman (or man) that marries for money earns every penny.
Gold diggers pursue and form relationships for the sole purpose of using a person for their money or wealth.
They typically do not have an honest emotional or physical attraction to their partner. The goal is to enter into the relationship to have access to the partner’s wealth.
While there’s nothing wrong with desiring an affluent partner or wanting a partner to spoil you with grand gestures, forming a relationship solely on the basis of the size of a person’s bank account, to the exclusion of important factors like their character and honest attraction is deceptive and costly.
If you are a gold digger, stop using people for money.
Or carry on.
But don’t play dumb when as a woman, the man who bought you thinks he’s entitled to belittle you and pop you in the mouth. Of course, afterwards he may compensate you with lavish gifts to intensify the trauma bond.
As a man don’t take a stupid pill when the woman you use to fund your lifestyle starts to emasculate and verbally abuse you.
Successful men and women of character are wary of being used by gold diggers.
Toxic predators, however, actively seek out gold diggers.
They know that gold diggers will trade their attentiveness in exchange for being provided with the trappings of success and money.
A gold digger’s desire to maintain a rich lifestyle and not lose it, once they have experienced it, makes them likely to remain bound to a toxic person in spite of mistreatment.

8. Promiscuous

Promiscuity refers to frequently engaging in sexual activity with different people or being indiscriminate in the choice of sexual partners.
Besides the consequences — higher risk of psychological distress (anxiety, depression, feelings of emptiness, abortion trauma, postpartum trauma etc.), sexually transmitted diseases and life threatening cancers, unwanted pregnancies, the ensuing proliferation of broken homes (and resulting generational trauma), development of an unnatural sex addiction, promiscuous men and women are the exclusive prey of somatic and sexual narcissists.
Sex is the exhibition arena of somatic narcissists.
They derive the narcissistic supply to boost their fledgling self-esteem through their physicality and sex. Sex is also the main area in which these predators employ their manipulative and abusive practices on their target. They need a target (often targets) with a high sex drive who will engage with them in this activity.
Aside from being indicative of a high sex drive, promiscuity signals to a toxic person that you are low hanging fruit.
But you don’t even have to be promiscuous. Just being careless once about who you choose to have sex with can derail the trajectory of your entire life.
Ladies, if you are a beautiful or high achieving woman, there is a species of degenerate and envious male that will target you at the peak of your career, for rapid impregnation as a means of humbling you.
These low-life toxic men aim to slow you down or stop your purpose. They will wreck your self-esteem, triangulate you with other women, before discarding you and eschewing their responsibilities as fathers.
The stories and examples of this in society are just too many to enumerate.
Fellas, it’s the same.
In the immortal words of rapper 50 cent — “have a baby by me, be a millionaire.”
If you’re a man on your way to becoming a successful somebody, toxic women will target you with sex. Rather than finding employment, these sorry excuses for womanhood will scheme to trap you with a baby, so they can safely collect monthly checks in child support.
Naturally, you don’t have to be well off. There are many embittered men struggling to get by, who are on the hook for years of child support payments, with a woman or women they barely knew.
The biggest loser is the child, who is brought into a toxic and stressful home environment.
If you are promiscuous, it’s a no-brainer to stay protected, exercise self-control, do some due diligence and be discriminate with sexual partners.
Toxic people target promiscuous men and women because they can use your body to masturbate, while abusing and manipulating you, with minimal effort.

9. Gullible

A gullible man or woman is easily deceived or tricked, and too willing to believe everything that other people say.
When first meeting someone, most of us will take the other person at face value, unless a contradiction arises later on. If he says he owns a six figure business or she says she works nights as an RN, the default for the majority is to accept what was stated.
Some cynics and skeptics may challenge the other person’s assertion and ask questions to verify the information, but most of us will not do that. At least not at first.
Gullible people however readily accept and delight in what they are told, and do not think to question it.
Gullible people are also guilty of projecting their good qualities and value systems unto others.
They assume just because they would never harm others like say by stealing, because it’s bad, that other people who laugh and smile in their face will adhere to the same mindset and not do the same to them.
For example, a gullible woman may meet an ex-convict and she will not want to “judge him” for his past. Because he is friendly and personable, she will assume he has turned over a new leaf and is remorseful, even though he has not made mention or given any proof of that.
If you are gullible, try the spirit.
In the beginning of every relationship and friendship, everyone is lovely.
It takes time for a person to reveal their character and motives, but they eventually do. Have a healthy level of guardedness until you’re sure you can trust some one. That’s self-love.
Personality-disordered individuals treasure gullible people because they require minimal effort to seduce.
Gullible people are easily taken in, continue to accept what they are told, and will believe the best in others without proof.

10. Susceptible to Manipulation

Probably, 99% of people will have this trigger.
Toxic people manipulate because it works.
Even when you know something is off, it takes experience to not to fall for emotional blackmail, gaslighting, love bombing and passive-aggressive tactics.
You begin to defend yourself, explain your decisions, engage in circular arguments and personalize all the antagonistic actions the toxic person throws your way.
You get taken in or you give in.
Being emotionally abused feels like hell, meanwhile the toxic person relishes every second.
Worse of all, there’s no visible trace of the damage.
Let’s take an example.
After years of scapegoating, you decide to go no contact with your narcissistic family of origin. You meet a nosy acquaintance that is curious to know what happened.
Perhaps you are not comfortable sharing, because you do not know whether you can trust this person.
The acquaintance hems and haws about how it could not have been so bad, after all you have had a very privileged upbringing. Surely mom and dad love you. It’s probably a misunderstanding. Don’t family stick together? And your siblings? Everyone can’t be wrong?
This is a combination of three manipulative tactics: minimizing, guilt-tripping and rationalizing.
Before you know it, you are 100% triggered.
You have spilled the beans about the entire story of abuse to defend your decision to permanently leave.
The nosy acquaintance got what they wanted — to be all up in your business. Now your business is fodder for gossip with any mutual connections you and this acquaintance share.
If the acquaintance is especially malicious, he or she will play dumb, continuing to gaslight and invalidate you.
This will wound you emotionally, and if you a person of lower self-esteem, you may even begin to doubt your decision.
This is how subtle and deleterious manipulation can be.
If you are susceptible to being manipulated, 1) you have to recognize manipulative tactics in the moment and 2) you need to learn how to protect yourself from being manipulated.
In the comment section of other reddit post How to Stand Up for Yourself with a Toxic Person, there’s a list of common manipulative tactics.
(Btw if this topic interests you, you can find me ellie c. anson on medium, as I’ll be doing a deep dive over there in later posts on how to protect yourself from various manipulative tactics. Or stay in this sub for snippets like this.)
This is one of those triggers that’s not a one-and-done to overcome. It requires consistent effort, like you would put in reps at the gym.
If you are susceptible to manipulation, then you are attractive to a toxic person because he or she will expend less energy manipulating you.
You will provide minimal resistance and can be moved into a state of dependency in a shorter time period.
P.S. How many toxic triggers do you have? I certainly had a few of these in the past (some I'm still putting in the reps lol).
[This snippet is part of a longer post called You Attract Toxic People. Here’s Why (A Deep Dive) ]

These are weaknesses you may have that signal a toxic person (narcs, psychopaths and emotional vampires) to grab hold of you for dear life.

1. Pleaser

People pleasers prioritize making others comfortable and happy, ahead of their own needs.
Pleasers feel uncomfortable when someone else is unhappy and they accommodate others to alleviate this sensation.
The desire for others to like and approve them often outweighs the desire to act in their own best interest.
This stems from not enough self-love, usually a survival mechanism from childhood. Imbalanced empaths, who lack self-love, tend to be people pleasers. Codependents are extreme pleasers.
If you are a pleaser, a rule of thumb is to remember it’s ok to care about the needs of others when 1) they are deserving or 2) it’s not to your detriment.
At least one of the two must be true.
Signs of a pleaser include: habit of inconveniencing oneself for others, tendency to agree with others and not hold your own opinion, fawning, sucking up or paying excessive compliments to others, excessive politeness (ex. not speaking your mind),
being overly compliant, self-deprecating or shrinking to makes others feel better about themselves or not be intimidated by you, and apologizing when it’s not your fault.
A pleaser is a goldmine for a toxic person. A selfless person is the yin to selfish person’s yang.

2. Rescuer

Closely related to the pleaser, the rescuer wants to help and save others from harm or ruin.
But by taking responsibility for a toxic person’s shortcomings and fixing their self-imposed problems, the rescuer enables the toxic person’s weaknesses.
The rescuer’s fatal flaw is their need to understand and their belief that they can change others.
Rescuers want to understand what made the toxic person suddenly abusive or manipulative, so they can solve the problem together and return to the happy moments.
However, there is no rhyme or reason to a toxic person’s abuse.
An emotional vampire will never reveal to you that they intentionally start drama, chaos and problems to harvest your negative emotional reactions, which is a form of fuel, that makes them feel superior and in control of you.
The rescuer’s continued engagement in trying to fix things and their perseverance in trying to make the toxic person see the error of their ways, while hopeless, is enjoyable to the toxic person and provides them with narcissistic supply.
If you are a rescuer, respect yourself by disengaging from abusive individuals and situations. Remember that love — true love — and abuse are not compatible.
You do not need to understand why or how a person could do xyz harmful behavior (psst it’s because they are toxic) nor are you responsible or capable of changing a grown adult who is not interested in changing.
Toxic people love rescuers because you will take responsibility for fixing the problem, enabling the toxic person to continue evading accountability and carrying on in their selfish ways.

3. Desperate

Desperation is a consequence of low self-esteem.
Desperate men and women are quick to settle for less in friendship, love and life.
Low self-esteem can stem from a multitude of things —
Are you overweight and out of shape? Perhaps you have been stuck in a low paying job for a long time? Maybe you have a speech impediment or are showing signs of balding at an early age?
Perhaps you’ve internalized society’s lies that you’ve hit the wall or rolled over the cliff at your age? Are you divorced or a single parent? A hopeless romantic who feels less than without a partner? And the list goes on.
If you are desperate, work on your self-esteem.
If the root cause for your low self-esteem is within your power to change, better yourself by working on it. If it is out of your control, then work on your mindset — begin to value and accept yourself as you are.
Even as you work to improve yourself, appreciate and approve of yourself for who you are right now. There is only one you in this entire world.
You rarely can attain to good things without believing you are worthy and deserving of them. Most importantly, you must release the people and situations that do not serve you.
Toxic men and women love to target desperate individuals, because you want a relationship so bad that you are likely to ignore red flags, overlook boundary violations and skip through the vetting process. You badly want the fairy tale and so you are easily seduced by love bombing.

4. Damaged

You are a victim or survivor of traumatic abuse, who has not healed.
The pain of betrayal weighs heavily and you just can’t hold it in anymore.
You want to tell the truth, share publicly what has happened to you, to expose your abuser(s) and to get support or validation from others.
Doing this prematurely makes you bleeding prey in a sea of sharks.
It is important to talk through trauma as part of the healing process. But if you have been abused, especially if it’s fresh, only discuss your trauma with safe people and in safe spaces.
A safe person is someone who has been properly vetted and only has your best interest at heart. It can be an experienced therapist or counselor, or trusted spouse, family member or friend. This person is clearly on your side.
Flying monkeys are not safe. Anybody that is trying to play Switzerland between you and your abuser is unsafe, especially when you haven’t harmed the abuser. New romantic interests and acquaintances cannot be deemed safe.
A safe space can be an anonymous online support group (ex. reddit). In-person and non-anonymous support groups may be helpful but they are also hunting grounds for predators.
Social media is not a safe space to air your trauma. Neither should you signal to predators that you are damaged by publicly displaying online your membership to abuse recovery support groups.
Confiding in unsafe persons and spaces will result in you being used to satisfy people’s curiosity and being gossiped about at best, or you being gaslit, manipulated and re-traumatized at worst.
Do not allow strangers on the internet or people who do not care about you to pick apart your trauma or debate this and that way about abuse you know you experienced.
Besides oversharing and being a victim of past abuse, other indicators of being damaged are: a desire to be rescued, fearing abandonment and excessively craving to be loved.
Toxic people love to prey on damaged men and women because you are vulnerable.
Sharing your vulnerabilities and trauma with a toxic person — and before you have healed — lets them know to what extent they can get away with abusing you and how best to go about it. After all it’s happened already before. It also shows that you are gullible and prime for being abused again.

5. Overly Forgiving

Forgiveness is the process of letting go of feelings of resentment and vengeance towards a person who has wronged you.
When a person has truly forgiven, a reconciliation is possible (though not required) when the abuser is repentant — meaning they are sincerely remorseful and have changed their ways.
An unrepentant abuser, who is still toxic, is undeserving of reconciliation, regardless of whether you have forgiven them.
Forgiveness is a process that can take time depending on the severity of the wrong experienced.
While forgiveness benefits our mental health, it is healthy only when a person feels in their heart ready to do so.
People who are overly forgiving overlook abuse, forgive too quickly, never set meaningful consequences and reconcile with impenitent abusers.
Unfortunately, this behavior makes the toxic person take you for granted and reinforces the toxic person to remain the same.
Toxic people respond only to consequences.
If you are overly forgiving and struggle with setting meaningful consequences, please read resource—Yeah Boundaries! The Definitive Guide: How to Set Effective Boundaries with Toxic People.
It will give you effective frameworks for setting consequences with toxic people that hold them accountable and discourage their abusive behaviors, without abusing them reactively.
Throw in a skilled manipulator, pressure tactics and a sprinkle of distorted religious propaganda, and it’s typically game over for the overly forgiving. Overly forgiving people are magnets for toxic people because you are the ultimate enabler.

6. Overly Emotional

This toxic trigger is for both the overly emotional and the emotionally dysregulated.
Overly emotional people are easily upset and express their emotions in ways that are considered by others to be exaggerated or inappropriate.
Dysregulated people cannot or will not manage their emotional states, resulting in intense or prolonged emotional reactions that deviate from societal norms and are disproportionate to the accepted range of emotional reactions for a given incident.
They have extreme emotional reactions such as angry outbursts, lashing out violently or aggressively, destroying and throwing objects, intense crying, self harm or threats of suicide.
There’s overlap but I would distinguish between the two in that overly emotional is more waterworks (“too sensitive”) whereas with dysregulation you may get the adult temper tantrum (often calculated).
If you have either trigger, the key is to manage and control your emotional reactions. A medical professional or therapist may be of help.
Your emotional reactions, positive or negative, are the lifeblood and fuel for toxic people. It is the reason behind everything they do — from love bombing to crazy making — as they cannot survive without a continuous supply of it.
Stoics are no good. Prolonged no contact is a stake through the vampire’s heart.
You, on the hand, are overly emotional or dysregulated. The drama-loving toxic person carefully selects you for your frequent and heightened emotional reactions. You are a prized fuel source.

7. Gold Digger

It’s often said that a woman (or man) that marries for money earns every penny.
Gold diggers pursue and form relationships for the sole purpose of using a person for their money or wealth.
They typically do not have an honest emotional or physical attraction to their partner. The goal is to enter into the relationship to have access to the partner’s wealth.
While there’s nothing wrong with desiring an affluent partner or wanting a partner to spoil you with grand gestures, forming a relationship solely on the basis of the size of a person’s bank account, to the exclusion of important factors like their character and honest attraction is deceptive and costly.
If you are a gold digger, stop using people for money.
Or carry on.
But don’t play dumb when as a woman, the man who bought you thinks he’s entitled to belittle you and pop you in the mouth. Of course, afterwards he may compensate you with lavish gifts to intensify the trauma bond.
As a man don’t take a stupid pill when the woman you use to fund your lifestyle starts to emasculate and verbally abuse you.
Successful men and women of character are wary of being used by gold diggers.
Toxic predators, however, actively seek out gold diggers.
They know that gold diggers will trade their attentiveness in exchange for being provided with the trappings of success and money.
A gold digger’s desire to maintain a rich lifestyle and not lose it, once they have experienced it, makes them likely to remain bound to a toxic person in spite of mistreatment.

8. Promiscuous

Promiscuity refers to frequently engaging in sexual activity with different people or being indiscriminate in the choice of sexual partners.
Besides the consequences — higher risk of psychological distress (anxiety, depression, feelings of emptiness, abortion trauma, postpartum trauma etc.), sexually transmitted diseases and life threatening cancers, unwanted pregnancies, the ensuing proliferation of broken homes (and resulting generational trauma), development of an unnatural sex addiction, promiscuous men and women are the exclusive prey of somatic and sexual narcissists.
Sex is the exhibition arena of somatic narcissists.
They derive the narcissistic supply to boost their fledgling self-esteem through their physicality and sex. Sex is also the main area in which these predators employ their manipulative and abusive practices on their target. They need a target (often targets) with a high sex drive who will engage with them in this activity.
Aside from being indicative of a high sex drive, promiscuity signals to a toxic person that you are low hanging fruit.
But you don’t even have to be promiscuous. Just being careless once about who you choose to have sex with can derail the trajectory of your entire life.
Ladies, if you are a beautiful or high achieving woman, there is a species of degenerate and envious male that will target you at the peak of your career, for rapid impregnation as a means of humbling you.
These low-life toxic men aim to slow you down or stop your purpose. They will wreck your self-esteem, triangulate you with other women, before discarding you and eschewing their responsibilities as fathers.
The stories and examples of this in society are just too many to enumerate.
Fellas, it’s the same.
In the immortal words of rapper 50 cent — “have a baby by me, be a millionaire.”
If you’re a man on your way to becoming a successful somebody, toxic women will target you with sex. Rather than finding employment, these sorry excuses for womanhood will scheme to trap you with a baby, so they can safely collect monthly checks in child support.
Naturally, you don’t have to be well off. There are many embittered men struggling to get by, who are on the hook for years of child support payments, with a woman or women they barely knew.
The biggest loser is the child, who is brought into a toxic and stressful home environment.
If you are promiscuous, it’s a no-brainer to stay protected, exercise self-control, do some due diligence and be discriminate with sexual partners.
Toxic people target promiscuous men and women because they can use your body to masturbate, while abusing and manipulating you, with minimal effort.

9. Gullible

A gullible man or woman is easily deceived or tricked, and too willing to believe everything that other people say.
When first meeting someone, most of us will take the other person at face value, unless a contradiction arises later on. If he says he owns a six figure business or she says she works nights as an RN, the default for the majority is to accept what was stated.
Some cynics and skeptics may challenge the other person’s assertion and ask questions to verify the information, but most of us will not do that. At least not at first.
Gullible people however readily accept and delight in what they are told, and do not think to question it.
Gullible people are also guilty of projecting their good qualities and value systems unto others.
They assume just because they would never harm others like say by stealing, because it’s bad, that other people who laugh and smile in their face will adhere to the same mindset and not do the same to them.
For example, a gullible woman may meet an ex-convict and she will not want to “judge him” for his past. Because he is friendly and personable, she will assume he has turned over a new leaf and is remorseful, even though he has not made mention or given any proof of that.
If you are gullible, try the spirit.
In the beginning of every relationship and friendship, everyone is lovely.
It takes time for a person to reveal their character and motives, but they eventually do. Have a healthy level of guardedness until you’re sure you can trust some one. That’s self-love.
Personality-disordered individuals treasure gullible people because they require minimal effort to seduce.
Gullible people are easily taken in, continue to accept what they are told, and will believe the best in others without proof.

10. Susceptible to Manipulation

Probably, 99% of people will have this trigger.
Toxic people manipulate because it works.
Even when you know something is off, it takes experience to not to fall for emotional blackmail, gaslighting, love bombing and passive-aggressive tactics.
You begin to defend yourself, explain your decisions, engage in circular arguments and personalize all the antagonistic actions the toxic person throws your way.
You get taken in or you give in.
Being emotionally abused feels like hell, meanwhile the toxic person relishes every second.
Worse of all, there’s no visible trace of the damage.
Let’s take an example.
After years of scapegoating, you decide to go no contact with your narcissistic family of origin. You meet a nosy acquaintance that is curious to know what happened.
Perhaps you are not comfortable sharing, because you do not know whether you can trust this person.
The acquaintance hems and haws about how it could not have been so bad, after all you have had a very privileged upbringing. Surely mom and dad love you. It’s probably a misunderstanding. Don’t family stick together? And your siblings? Everyone can’t be wrong?
This is a combination of three manipulative tactics: minimizing, guilt-tripping and rationalizing.
Before you know it, you are 100% triggered.
You have spilled the beans about the entire story of abuse to defend your decision to permanently leave.
The nosy acquaintance got what they wanted — to be all up in your business. Now your business is fodder for gossip with any mutual connections you and this acquaintance share.
If the acquaintance is especially malicious, he or she will play dumb, continuing to gaslight and invalidate you.
This will wound you emotionally, and if you a person of lower self-esteem, you may even begin to doubt your decision.
This is how subtle and deleterious manipulation can be.
If you are susceptible to being manipulated, 1) you have to recognize manipulative tactics in the moment and 2) you need to learn how to protect yourself from being manipulated.
In the comment section of other reddit post How to Stand Up for Yourself with a Toxic Person, there’s a list of common manipulative tactics.
(Btw if this topic interests you, you can find me ellie c. anson on medium, as I’ll be doing a deep dive over there in later posts on how to protect yourself from various manipulative tactics. Or stay in this sub for snippets like this.)
This is one of those triggers that’s not a one-and-done to overcome. It requires consistent effort, like you would put in reps at the gym.
If you are susceptible to manipulation, then you are attractive to a toxic person because he or she will expend less energy manipulating you.
You will provide minimal resistance and can be moved into a state of dependency in a shorter time period.
P.S. How many toxic triggers do you have? I certainly had a few of these in the past (some I'm still putting in the reps lol).
[This snippet is part of a longer post called You Attract Toxic People. Here’s Why (A Deep Dive) ]

These are weaknesses you may have that signal a toxic person (narcs, psychopaths and emotional vampires) to grab hold of you for dear life.

1. Pleaser

People pleasers prioritize making others comfortable and happy, ahead of their own needs.
Pleasers feel uncomfortable when someone else is unhappy and they accommodate others to alleviate this sensation.
The desire for others to like and approve them often outweighs the desire to act in their own best interest.
This stems from not enough self-love, usually a survival mechanism from childhood. Imbalanced empaths, who lack self-love, tend to be people pleasers. Codependents are extreme pleasers.
If you are a pleaser, a rule of thumb is to remember it’s ok to care about the needs of others when 1) they are deserving or 2) it’s not to your detriment.
At least one of the two must be true.
Signs of a pleaser include: habit of inconveniencing oneself for others, tendency to agree with others and not hold your own opinion, fawning, sucking up or paying excessive compliments to others, excessive politeness (ex. not speaking your mind),
being overly compliant, self-deprecating or shrinking to makes others feel better about themselves or not be intimidated by you, and apologizing when it’s not your fault.
A pleaser is a goldmine for a toxic person. A selfless person is the yin to selfish person’s yang.

2. Rescuer

Closely related to the pleaser, the rescuer wants to help and save others from harm or ruin.
But by taking responsibility for a toxic person’s shortcomings and fixing their self-imposed problems, the rescuer enables the toxic person’s weaknesses.
The rescuer’s fatal flaw is their need to understand and their belief that they can change others.
Rescuers want to understand what made the toxic person suddenly abusive or manipulative, so they can solve the problem together and return to the happy moments.
However, there is no rhyme or reason to a toxic person’s abuse.
An emotional vampire will never reveal to you that they intentionally start drama, chaos and problems to harvest your negative emotional reactions, which is a form of fuel, that makes them feel superior and in control of you.
The rescuer’s continued engagement in trying to fix things and their perseverance in trying to make the toxic person see the error of their ways, while hopeless, is enjoyable to the toxic person and provides them with narcissistic supply.
If you are a rescuer, respect yourself by disengaging from abusive individuals and situations. Remember that love — true love — and abuse are not compatible.
You do not need to understand why or how a person could do xyz harmful behavior (psst it’s because they are toxic) nor are you responsible or capable of changing a grown adult who is not interested in changing.
Toxic people love rescuers because you will take responsibility for fixing the problem, enabling the toxic person to continue evading accountability and carrying on in their selfish ways.

3. Desperate

Desperation is a consequence of low self-esteem.
Desperate men and women are quick to settle for less in friendship, love and life.
Low self-esteem can stem from a multitude of things —
Are you overweight and out of shape? Perhaps you have been stuck in a low paying job for a long time? Maybe you have a speech impediment or are showing signs of balding at an early age?
Perhaps you’ve internalized society’s lies that you’ve hit the wall or rolled over the cliff at your age? Are you divorced or a single parent? A hopeless romantic who feels less than without a partner? And the list goes on.
If you are desperate, work on your self-esteem.
If the root cause for your low self-esteem is within your power to change, better yourself by working on it. If it is out of your control, then work on your mindset — begin to value and accept yourself as you are.
Even as you work to improve yourself, appreciate and approve of yourself for who you are right now. There is only one you in this entire world.
You rarely can attain to good things without believing you are worthy and deserving of them. Most importantly, you must release the people and situations that do not serve you.
Toxic men and women love to target desperate individuals, because you want a relationship so bad that you are likely to ignore red flags, overlook boundary violations and skip through the vetting process. You badly want the fairy tale and so you are easily seduced by love bombing.

4. Damaged

You are a victim or survivor of traumatic abuse, who has not healed.
The pain of betrayal weighs heavily and you just can’t hold it in anymore.
You want to tell the truth, share publicly what has happened to you, to expose your abuser(s) and to get support or validation from others.
Doing this prematurely makes you bleeding prey in a sea of sharks.
It is important to talk through trauma as part of the healing process. But if you have been abused, especially if it’s fresh, only discuss your trauma with safe people and in safe spaces.
A safe person is someone who has been properly vetted and only has your best interest at heart. It can be an experienced therapist or counselor, or trusted spouse, family member or friend. This person is clearly on your side.
Flying monkeys are not safe. Anybody that is trying to play Switzerland between you and your abuser is unsafe, especially when you haven’t harmed the abuser. New romantic interests and acquaintances cannot be deemed safe.
A safe space can be an anonymous online support group (ex. reddit). In-person and non-anonymous support groups may be helpful but they are also hunting grounds for predators.
Social media is not a safe space to air your trauma. Neither should you signal to predators that you are damaged by publicly displaying online your membership to abuse recovery support groups.
Confiding in unsafe persons and spaces will result in you being used to satisfy people’s curiosity and being gossiped about at best, or you being gaslit, manipulated and re-traumatized at worst.
Do not allow strangers on the internet or people who do not care about you to pick apart your trauma or debate this and that way about abuse you know you experienced.
Besides oversharing and being a victim of past abuse, other indicators of being damaged are: a desire to be rescued, fearing abandonment and excessively craving to be loved.
Toxic people love to prey on damaged men and women because you are vulnerable.
Sharing your vulnerabilities and trauma with a toxic person — and before you have healed — lets them know to what extent they can get away with abusing you and how best to go about it. After all it’s happened already before. It also shows that you are gullible and prime for being abused again.

5. Overly Forgiving

Forgiveness is the process of letting go of feelings of resentment and vengeance towards a person who has wronged you.
When a person has truly forgiven, a reconciliation is possible (though not required) when the abuser is repentant — meaning they are sincerely remorseful and have changed their ways.
An unrepentant abuser, who is still toxic, is undeserving of reconciliation, regardless of whether you have forgiven them.
Forgiveness is a process that can take time depending on the severity of the wrong experienced.
While forgiveness benefits our mental health, it is healthy only when a person feels in their heart ready to do so.
People who are overly forgiving overlook abuse, forgive too quickly, never set meaningful consequences and reconcile with impenitent abusers.
Unfortunately, this behavior makes the toxic person take you for granted and reinforces the toxic person to remain the same.
Toxic people respond only to consequences.
If you are overly forgiving and struggle with setting meaningful consequences, please read resource—Yeah Boundaries! The Definitive Guide: How to Set Effective Boundaries with Toxic People.
It will give you effective frameworks for setting consequences with toxic people that hold them accountable and discourage their abusive behaviors, without abusing them reactively.
Throw in a skilled manipulator, pressure tactics and a sprinkle of distorted religious propaganda, and it’s typically game over for the overly forgiving. Overly forgiving people are magnets for toxic people because you are the ultimate enabler.

6. Overly Emotional

This toxic trigger is for both the overly emotional and the emotionally dysregulated.
Overly emotional people are easily upset and express their emotions in ways that are considered by others to be exaggerated or inappropriate.
Dysregulated people cannot or will not manage their emotional states, resulting in intense or prolonged emotional reactions that deviate from societal norms and are disproportionate to the accepted range of emotional reactions for a given incident.
They have extreme emotional reactions such as angry outbursts, lashing out violently or aggressively, destroying and throwing objects, intense crying, self harm or threats of suicide.
There’s overlap but I would distinguish between the two in that overly emotional is more waterworks (“too sensitive”) whereas with dysregulation you may get the adult temper tantrum (often calculated).
If you have either trigger, the key is to manage and control your emotional reactions. A medical professional or therapist may be of help.
Your emotional reactions, positive or negative, are the lifeblood and fuel for toxic people. It is the reason behind everything they do — from love bombing to crazy making — as they cannot survive without a continuous supply of it.
Stoics are no good. Prolonged no contact is a stake through the vampire’s heart.
You, on the hand, are overly emotional or dysregulated. The drama-loving toxic person carefully selects you for your frequent and heightened emotional reactions. You are a prized fuel source.

7. Gold Digger

It’s often said that a woman (or man) that marries for money earns every penny.
Gold diggers pursue and form relationships for the sole purpose of using a person for their money or wealth.
They typically do not have an honest emotional or physical attraction to their partner. The goal is to enter into the relationship to have access to the partner’s wealth.
While there’s nothing wrong with desiring an affluent partner or wanting a partner to spoil you with grand gestures, forming a relationship solely on the basis of the size of a person’s bank account, to the exclusion of important factors like their character and honest attraction is deceptive and costly.
If you are a gold digger, stop using people for money.
Or carry on.
But don’t play dumb when as a woman, the man who bought you thinks he’s entitled to belittle you and pop you in the mouth. Of course, afterwards he may compensate you with lavish gifts to intensify the trauma bond.
As a man don’t take a stupid pill when the woman you use to fund your lifestyle starts to emasculate and verbally abuse you.
Successful men and women of character are wary of being used by gold diggers.
Toxic predators, however, actively seek out gold diggers.
They know that gold diggers will trade their attentiveness in exchange for being provided with the trappings of success and money.
A gold digger’s desire to maintain a rich lifestyle and not lose it, once they have experienced it, makes them likely to remain bound to a toxic person in spite of mistreatment.

8. Promiscuous

Promiscuity refers to frequently engaging in sexual activity with different people or being indiscriminate in the choice of sexual partners.
Besides the consequences — higher risk of psychological distress (anxiety, depression, feelings of emptiness, abortion trauma, postpartum trauma etc.), sexually transmitted diseases and life threatening cancers, unwanted pregnancies, the ensuing proliferation of broken homes (and resulting generational trauma), development of an unnatural sex addiction, promiscuous men and women are the exclusive prey of somatic and sexual narcissists.
Sex is the exhibition arena of somatic narcissists.
They derive the narcissistic supply to boost their fledgling self-esteem through their physicality and sex. Sex is also the main area in which these predators employ their manipulative and abusive practices on their target. They need a target (often targets) with a high sex drive who will engage with them in this activity.
Aside from being indicative of a high sex drive, promiscuity signals to a toxic person that you are low hanging fruit.
But you don’t even have to be promiscuous. Just being careless once about who you choose to have sex with can derail the trajectory of your entire life.
Ladies, if you are a beautiful or high achieving woman, there is a species of degenerate and envious male that will target you at the peak of your career, for rapid impregnation as a means of humbling you.
These low-life toxic men aim to slow you down or stop your purpose. They will wreck your self-esteem, triangulate you with other women, before discarding you and eschewing their responsibilities as fathers.
The stories and examples of this in society are just too many to enumerate.
Fellas, it’s the same.
In the immortal words of rapper 50 cent — “have a baby by me, be a millionaire.”
If you’re a man on your way to becoming a successful somebody, toxic women will target you with sex. Rather than finding employment, these sorry excuses for womanhood will scheme to trap you with a baby, so they can safely collect monthly checks in child support.
Naturally, you don’t have to be well off. There are many embittered men struggling to get by, who are on the hook for years of child support payments, with a woman or women they barely knew.
The biggest loser is the child, who is brought into a toxic and stressful home environment.
If you are promiscuous, it’s a no-brainer to stay protected, exercise self-control, do some due diligence and be discriminate with sexual partners.
Toxic people target promiscuous men and women because they can use your body to masturbate, while abusing and manipulating you, with minimal effort.

9. Gullible

A gullible man or woman is easily deceived or tricked, and too willing to believe everything that other people say.
When first meeting someone, most of us will take the other person at face value, unless a contradiction arises later on. If he says he owns a six figure business or she says she works nights as an RN, the default for the majority is to accept what was stated.
Some cynics and skeptics may challenge the other person’s assertion and ask questions to verify the information, but most of us will not do that. At least not at first.
Gullible people however readily accept and delight in what they are told, and do not think to question it.
Gullible people are also guilty of projecting their good qualities and value systems unto others.
They assume just because they would never harm others like say by stealing, because it’s bad, that other people who laugh and smile in their face will adhere to the same mindset and not do the same to them.
For example, a gullible woman may meet an ex-convict and she will not want to “judge him” for his past. Because he is friendly and personable, she will assume he has turned over a new leaf and is remorseful, even though he has not made mention or given any proof of that.
If you are gullible, try the spirit.
In the beginning of every relationship and friendship, everyone is lovely.
It takes time for a person to reveal their character and motives, but they eventually do. Have a healthy level of guardedness until you’re sure you can trust some one. That’s self-love.
Personality-disordered individuals treasure gullible people because they require minimal effort to seduce.
Gullible people are easily taken in, continue to accept what they are told, and will believe the best in others without proof.

10. Susceptible to Manipulation

Probably, 99% of people will have this trigger.
Toxic people manipulate because it works.
Even when you know something is off, it takes experience to not to fall for emotional blackmail, gaslighting, love bombing and passive-aggressive tactics.
You begin to defend yourself, explain your decisions, engage in circular arguments and personalize all the antagonistic actions the toxic person throws your way.
You get taken in or you give in.
Being emotionally abused feels like hell, meanwhile the toxic person relishes every second.
Worse of all, there’s no visible trace of the damage.
Let’s take an example.
After years of scapegoating, you decide to go no contact with your narcissistic family of origin. You meet a nosy acquaintance that is curious to know what happened.
Perhaps you are not comfortable sharing, because you do not know whether you can trust this person.
The acquaintance hems and haws about how it could not have been so bad, after all you have had a very privileged upbringing. Surely mom and dad love you. It’s probably a misunderstanding. Don’t family stick together? And your siblings? Everyone can’t be wrong?
This is a combination of three manipulative tactics: minimizing, guilt-tripping and rationalizing.
Before you know it, you are 100% triggered.
You have spilled the beans about the entire story of abuse to defend your decision to permanently leave.
The nosy acquaintance got what they wanted — to be all up in your business. Now your business is fodder for gossip with any mutual connections you and this acquaintance share.
If the acquaintance is especially malicious, he or she will play dumb, continuing to gaslight and invalidate you.
This will wound you emotionally, and if you a person of lower self-esteem, you may even begin to doubt your decision.
This is how subtle and deleterious manipulation can be.
If you are susceptible to being manipulated, 1) you have to recognize manipulative tactics in the moment and 2) you need to learn how to protect yourself from being manipulated.
In the comment section of other reddit post How to Stand Up for Yourself with a Toxic Person, there’s a list of common manipulative tactics.
(Btw if this topic interests you, you can find me ellie c. anson on medium, as I’ll be doing a deep dive over there in later posts on how to protect yourself from various manipulative tactics. Or stay in this sub for snippets like this.)
This is one of those triggers that’s not a one-and-done to overcome. It requires consistent effort, like you would put in reps at the gym.
If you are susceptible to manipulation, then you are attractive to a toxic person because he or she will expend less energy manipulating you.
You will provide minimal resistance and can be moved into a state of dependency in a shorter time period.
P.S. How many toxic triggers do you have? I certainly had a few of these in the past (some I'm still putting in the reps lol).
[This snippet is part of a longer post called You Attract Toxic People. Here’s Why (A Deep Dive) ]

Hi all! I am thinking about going back to school to pursue a DNP in women's health! I am currently working as a mother baby RN at a notorious Hospital in GA. It is known to be where they house the sickest of the sick and it's very true EVEN for postpartum patients and infants. I love my job! I work pretty much exclusively with underprivileged minority families/women where i feel like I'm making an impact everyday. But something in me is telling me to progress my career. I still want to be in a Clincal setting so management doesn't sound appealing. So naturally the next route would be DNP. I'm just trying to decide if the cost outweighs the benefit. Currently i am making far and beyond what other nurses at my experience level and speciality make. If I had worked the last 4 months of the year (i was on maternity leave) i would i cleared 100k without picking up any extra shifts. But that's only because of this hospital system. I've heard the NP market is super saturated. And i don't have an interest to work in a hospital inpatient setting. I would prefer to work in a OBGYN clinic or office , helping moms in pregnancy and women's general health. I'm trying to buy a home in the next year or two, then have another baby. My husband and I both work full time but his schedule is extremely flexible. We are both still very young (23 almost 24) . I rather do school when I'm younger and my baby is still relatively young than wait. Is it worth it?

Hello, At the time of making this post I was just threatened with having my “face caved in” by my dad. My mother told me to kms. This isn’t new.
I’m a 25/nearly 26 yr old woman. I’m living at home with one younger sister. Financially I’m saving and have a predicted chance of moving out by may 2025. My bf whom I’ve been with through thick and thin has supported me but is currently unable to house me.
I have some health issues going on including being diagnosed with PCOS. I’m suffering with depression and go to work to escape. Whether it was home, school or work I’ve been fat shamed. I weighed 65kg for my 177cm frame at 20 and was still fatshamed. I was on contraceptive pills and now my hormones are fucked. I haven’t had a period in so long and my GP has told me sadly I will struggle to have my own children.
I’ve been verbally,physically and emotionally abused by my parents since I was small. My mother has postpartum depression and often told me she was going to kill me and my little sister. I rarely sleep these days and when I do I rot in bed. I only eat what my Dr has reccomended me. I’m struggling and somewhat feel useless. I sat in my lounge room and my father came in and saw me taking a lot of vitamins. He said “you don’t leave the house you need to exercise” - I went to the gym for 4 years and was working out 2/3 times a week (both my parents vehemently deny this) I just sat there and looked at him. I ended up breaking down and said “if I wanted to have your advice I’d ask” he started screaming at me for “talking back”.
I cried so hard that my throat was raw and screamed “I might not be able to have kids do you even know how that feels?” He started raising his fist at me. My mother got between us and said “you need to lose weight. You were skinny when you met your bf - he indulges you”. This is bs I remember being 12 and my mother told me to stop eating because I was fat and always made “moment on the lips” comments. I was bullied for weight issues and have struggled. I self harmed a lot in my youth but now I just rot in bed and go to work. If I stay the night at my bf’s I’m active and having walks. Currently I could lose some weight I’m not sure what I’m currently but I think post pill I am 75-78kg could be more but I’m not sure. My GP said my cholesterol is great and so is my blood sugars but my testosterone is high so it’s been affecting how I lose weight. No to mention other pcos symptoms have played into my head.
I’ve tried so hard and always felt fat and ugly. Yesterday I didn’t eat to lunch and ate some boiled eggs and tomatoes. I found out I’m gluten intolerant so I started eating gluten free things. My mother said “I want things to be wrong with me because I’m an attention whore”.
I’ve cried in my GPs car park just feeling like the most sad relief to know I tried so hard.
My parents have always been like this and lately I just think if I die will they feel regret? After this conversation my father calmed down and said “I only say this because I care” and I said “why try to punch me then” he said “because I’m your father and I’m telling you what you need to hear”.
My father has punched me so hard at 16 I chipped my tooth. My sister and mum are chatting away in the kitchen and my father is watching tv after all this??
I can’t wait till next year. But rn I don’t think I’ll make it.

34 y/o ftm to a 4 month old. Just went back to work part time a month ago. I work as an RN in a busy hospital, with new management. I've been getting short with people, easier to get upset or angry at my bosses & saying things rudely before thinking. I'm telling myself it's the hormones & sleep deprivation, & to give myself some slack. BUT I also feel like I'm going crazy, bc I'm acting unlike my usual chill nature & now I'm a bitch... is this postpartum anger?? Is this normal to be so short tempered 4 months pp?? 😬

so i took a plan b on the 27 of febuary snd then got my period shortly on the 1st through 6 after which caused my next period in the month to be later march 27th-31st. and now im late again i took a pregnancy test today and its negative but im three days late. im also 5 months postpartum and have never missed an entire period. we use condoms everytime and have only had sex a handful of times this month. i can't have another baby rn how likely am i to be pregnant. i haven't had any cramping really. i know im not pregnant from after taking the BC but has anyone else taken a BC and it made two periods late.?

so i took a plan b on the 27 of febuary snd then got my period shortly on the 1st through 6 after which caused my next period in the month to be later march 27th-31st. and now im late again i took a pregnancy test today and its negative but im three days late. im also 5 months postpartum and have never missed an entire period. we use condoms everytime and have only had sex a handful of times this month. i can’t have another baby rn how likely am i to be pregnant. i haven’t had any cramping really.

What's good! I was hella bored so I made my ideal tracklist for his upcoming 'It's A Boy' with features and what each song may talk about. And yes, I called it a mixtape even though it's probably going to be an album. This may get long but if you can be bothered to read all of this, feel free to critique below! Features mentioned: Don Toliver + Kali Uchis, Travis Scott, Daylyt + Denzel Curry, Snoh Aalegra, JID, Tyler, the Creator (on production).
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Track 1: Just like Yebba's heartbreak from Drake's CLB and Audio Hug from Summer Walker's EP, I believe the intro should be features purely. From a chronological standpoint, this song will cover the struggles of urban poverty and drug abuse experienced by both J Cole's parents whilst giving birth to J Cole; hence the namesake 'It's A Boy'. I said features (plural) as I believe Don Toliver and Kali Uchis would do a perfect role. Little is known about J Cole's father but he has stated he would spend time in Dallas, Texas. With this we can get an insight into who we was through Don Toliver. Kali Uchis would be perfect to outline J Cole's mother's postpartum depression, struggle with alcohols and drugs (which was mentioned by J Cole in the interlude 'Once an Addict') and her vocal style would be the perfect match for this. A hazy, cloud beat with psychadelic vocals and tempo changes to top it all off. By having both Don Toliver and Kali Uchis play the role of Cole's parents it also teaches them between right and wrong when bringing up a child.
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Track 2: J Cole's experience with cigarettes. During his interview with Bob Myers, J Cole explains how he used to smoke with older children at the age of 6. With his brother finding out and reporting to his mother, this song will outline the changes in motherhood and how his actions can hurt his loved ones. Much like his songs on the album: 4 Your Eyez Only, I see this song to be pure story-telling. No features, just J Cole doing his thing. I love when J Cole samples soul beats, for example Erykah Badu's 'Didn't Cha Know' on 'Too Deep for the Intro'. J Cole being Marijuana free since 2011, a sample from Amy Winehouse's 'Addicted' (which she talks about Weed) would be the cherry on top.
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Track 3: J Cole sets off to New York to puruse his music career. Throughout his discography, J Cole talks about how lit he gets in New York. This has trap written all over it and J Cole on one of the 'Might Delete Later' volumes states that he has been in the studio with Metro Boomin. The London was undisputedly a banger, as well as MAFIA by Travis Scott which features uncredited J Cole vocals. J Cole, Travis and Metro Boomin? YES SIR! Without a doubt this would be a song for the charts.
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Track 4: Despite the confusion, J Cole was one of the feature artists on Future and Metro Boomin's 'WE STILL DON'T TRUST YOU' on the track 'Red Leather'. He states he kept his nose out of the streets but loves to get a whiff so this will be a pure hip-hop track. Daylyt being one of the best battle rappers of all time, showcased his skills on 'Pi' off of J Cole's mixtape 'Might Delete Later' is most definitely returning on this track. Another feature artist? Probably the most underrated rapper right now in the likes of former Raider Klan member Denzel Curry. J Cole, Denzel Curry and Daylyt would be straight up OVERKILL. Daylyt and Denzel Curry being exposed to the streets more than Cole might give an anecdotal experience in the song relating to drugs as well. After all, 'boy' is also a slang term for heroin, so in this song the narrative is shifted to drugs and gang culture. A Conductor Williams or Uncle Al beat you say? DAMN. (no pun intended).
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Track 5: Wet Dreamz has always had mixed reviews. Some say it's top 3 on 2014 FHD, while others say it's too corny. Nonetheless, J Cole does not fail when it comes to love songs especially on his older projects. Both J Cole and Melissa have been couples since his arrival to New York. Unlike his typical love songs, this will be a back and forth between Snoh Aalegra (who will play as Melissa Heholt) and J Cole himself talking about their desires and futures as a couple. With a starting line sung by Snoh Aalegra along the lines of, 'It's a Boy named Jermaine...' this will kickstart the RnB vibe that will be on full display in this multi-genre project. To be frank, Snoh Aalegra, H.E.R., Ari Lennox and Summer Walker can all walk perfectly but given that Cole has already worked with Ari Lennox on 'Shea Butter Baby' as well as 'Pricey', Snoh Aalegra would be the perfect fit. Not to mention, she has worked with Vince Staples as well. I would like to see the exploration of lust, vulnerable emotion and mental unrest.
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Track 6: During his interview with Narduwar, Cole says that he had introduced Kendrick to Dr. Dre. Although I do not believe it was entirely Cole, I still believe this gesture by Cole is what keeps their friendship intact. In my opinion, J Cole is the better rapper, but there is no denying that Kendrick is a better artist. I compare this 'beef' to relighting a flame that has been put of for years: the flame being hip-hop. This so called beef has made grown men like Dj Akademiks lose sleep and worry about things that are the opposite behind disses and cameras. This leads me on to the next track being, 'It's a boy from Compton' as I assume how J Cole would've introduced Kendrick to Dr. Dre. Only Cole on this beat, I believe this track to be clearing all the rumours amongst them and further explaining the reasoning behind Cole removing his verse. Thematically, it would obviously cover friendship and brotherhood. A jazzy boom-bap sample would do just right seeming as though it would be about Kendrick.
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Track 7: Present day. Social Media era. J Cole has mentioned about the toll social media has on one's well being with Angie Martinez as well as Kevin Hart. In this track, 'social media' is personified as a controlling head that tempts J Cole into becoming this toxic conundrum. Assisted with a funk bassline provided by Bootsy Collins, JID will feature as the voice of 'social media' by creating this parallel. This goes deeper into being doxxed, illicit content etc. By comparing social media to drugs, this shows how the same 'bad energy' is constantly following someone set out to better themselves.
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Track 8: The last track on this mixtape I randomly made up. This will actually be about Cole's son and his steps towards fatherhood. Each song prior to this track has a message that leads to this point. No further explanation other than to expect a story telling masterpiece similar to the song 4 Your Eyez Only or She's Mine Pt. 1 and Pt. 2. A mellow beat with a slow tempo produced by Tyler, the Creator to heighten the short steps taken by Cole and not to rush in whilst raising a son.
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Yes. I am one bored MF. Peace.

my boyfriend took the initiative of finding out if he can take a paid leave for when i have our baby, and i’m really happy he did bc he actually is able to, despite not working for the company for very long just yet.
the thing is, his leave is only a week and a half. im a ftm and im convinced i wont give birth till at least a week later than my due date and they approved his leave starting ON the day of my due date. i’ve asked him if he could give them a different date and he said he doesn’t think so bc the process took so long… im just so sad rn. my due date is april 28 and now im constantly worrying abt how ill do postpartum if he isn’t around to help in the first week after giving birth.
im usually independent and resilient but this is a time that i want/need to rely on my partner, and being a ftm im really scared and need him around bc i can’t do it on my own. my mom lives in a different state, my dad is in a different country, my sister lives across town, im not all that comfortable with his family, but his mom is nice to me and i know if i reached out to her she’d help me but she works in the medical field so she’s not exactly reliable. ugh im just so angry with his company bc i feel like they’re messing it all up for postpartum :(

I will be in the kitchen and SS14 (UNPROMPTED) will stop his video game or show and come over to me and ask me if I need help with anything.
The trash was full when I went to toss something away and he comes out of his room and tells me he will take the trash out. And does it for me.
He will come into the room and ask me if I need water or snacks.
He cleaned his room as soon as he got home from school and did all his laundry yesterday without being asked.
He will ask if I fed the dog around her dinner time and if I say no he does it for us.
He knows I’m scared of germs around the baby and he will shower as soon as he’s home from school so he’s clean before he says hi to the baby and so that he can help me if needed right away.
I’m like 6 weeks postpartum and him actively paying attention and seeing what needs to be done is just so helpful and unexpected. His father doesn’t even take initiative like that when it comes to messes/cleanliness of the home which is the main thing I need help with during this time. So I just appreciate this kid so much rn. Of course he annoys me like any teenager sometimes but damn he could teach his dad and brother a thing or two! SS18 will be laying there on the couch on FaceTime with his gf not doing shit (like always) and I will be holding the baby and trying to make a bottle and struggling and the trash will be overflowing and he just lays there not helping and then to top it off will shove more trash on top of the already full bin.
How did SS14 learn this and how can I get him to teach his brother and dad? 😂

Here's some background info first. My Sister (35F) had a child with My Brother in law (38 M) Who does not take care of himself and abuses Drugs and Alcohol, they are still married hes in the picture and to my knowledge doesn't do hard drugs just weed but has destroyed his liver abusing alcohol like if he didn't stop then he would need a transplant or die, hospitalized for his stupidity. Anyway, they never lived in the greatest conditions, but it has gotten worse over the years, especially as my Niece has grown up. I helped raise my Niece, from birth i was shipped over to their house to help my sister care for her and give her a break with postpartum and whatnot. i can say that even though living conditions weren't great they were better than the pig sty they lived in before their current circumstances. That being said my niece is like my own daughter to me, i constantly try to give her breaks at my house to decompress. Fast Forward to the timeline of 2018ish - 2024. My Sister and Bro-in-law move into this decent house in a slumlord neighborhood. They had one dog and two cats, living conditions, okay, theres an lingering odor of male cat piss and stinky dogs but nothing too concerning. Niece's room typical childs messy room whatever. as time goes by i hear via my parents "Oh your sister got this animal and then this pet and they fostered this dog blah blah." i start visiting more being more adult and less of a rebellious teen that isolated in their room for days. I noticed within the first two years that living conditons had Dropped extremely low for their house. By the time they got Evicted in 2021 The house was reaching territory of being someones insurance claim cause it should have been burnt down. Im Talking, Feces from various animals smeared in the carpets and hardwood, that odor i mentioned before? x10000 it punched you in the face. i feel bad for the current tenants... im sure its still there leeched into the walls. Junk Every where i mean its the Spitting image of Poverty man... Thats Just the Living Conditions... My Niece? A slave... Does all the Chores, Takes care of their hoard of three cats and three dogs. No Access to Necessities unless it was quite obvious that she couldnt wear or use it anymore... Hand me Down Electronics that barely work. Constantly being "disiplined" which just involved screaming and cursing at her over bullshit things that could have been a calm scolding. Shall i continue?
They Get Evicted for the extra animals and poor maintenance of the domicile and My loving parents (bless their hearts) took them in. They lived in the Garage while My niece was in the basement of my parents home. Instead of moving out for whatever reason they all decide to build a tiny home in the large backyard, its not even 100% complete, just barely to the point of habitable. this was fine for a while until they made my neice take the loft area and move into the tiny home. So thats their living situation so far.
Now, heres where the dilemma and frustration lie. My sister has gotten so uptight and wont let my niece come to our house much anymore and it seems the constant excuse is shes "grounded" She doesnt care for my Nieces Feelings and is playing the "everything is fine" card eventhough a monkey could see how hard my niece is struggling. She refuses to help tutor her daughter and help her in school. Niece wants a job Sister is dragging her feet getting the permit. And as i mentioned in the title her daughter is ON THE VERGE OF SUICIDE! Because of how my sister has raised my niece, my niece has obviously stopped teling her things. Since im closer to her age and have been in the Literal Same Boat as My niece is and ive opened up to my niece about my experiences every juicy detail. My Niece Mentioned that she is struggling hard in the classroom, the teachers dont help and counselors dont help. She Goes to the same highschool i did, and theres a reason its called KYS Central. Naturally this is followed with "Sometimes i want to kill myself or disappear from existince, I Swear if i spend another fucked year at school im going to find a way to kill myself. I have no friends, actual eneimes and no one will help... i want to go to Hillcrest because thats where my friends are and i can ask them what the fuck my teachers are teaching"
I relayed this info with permission from my niece i sent two heartfelt messages about how they need to fix this situation or she will end up dead or missing. She Says "I talked to her cause she's slowly opening up to me but Ik it takes time so I'm letting her do it on her own time and just trying to support her"
This PISSES me off, How could you react in such a nonchalant way about this! Your Daughter could sneak a knife or pills into her little loft and never fucking wake up again! If I was told this info about my daughter... I would be listening and fix the issues! Just Transfer her, Get her a job, tutor her, and take fucking care of her! Get her to fucking therapy! On Top of this they cant even Live reasonably, they dont pay rent anymore and they cant fucking keep up on their bills?! I can only contact my sister on text or messenger and only when shes near wifi because they cant pay a phone bill RN.
More BackGround: Bro-In-Law was hospitalized for liver damage and now does not work at all, its all on my sister and her minimum wage paycheck. Poverty. All their money seems to go to ridiculous things, they eat out alot (Sometime not getting my niece anyfood) so. yeah.
Should i Call CPS or maybe take my neice in and tell my sister to fuck off, file for guardian ship, what do you think?
TLDR: Mentally and Emotionally Abusive Sister Refuses to Help her Daughter that is ready to commit suicide and I want to take her away from that situation, what are my options?