Quotes for my ex boyfriend

I have a question. My boyfriend (39) and I (29) decided to live together last year.
Everything seemed fine. Before he met me, he knew I had a 5-year-old child and that I wasn't married. He also had a cat. We moved in together, but he left his cat with his family.
In our new place, a stray cat started visiting us regularly, and we fed it often. I noticed he became attached to the stray, so we decided to adopt it to help him miss his cat less. I suggested we keep the cat indoors because my child often gets sick and got admitted a few times, but he got upset because the stray wasn’t used to living inside. So, I let it be even though the cat sometimes caught mice and climbed on the table. I'm not a cat person, but I tried to adjust.
When we started living together, I even adjusted my life and my son's needs. My son used to have S26 milk, but we had to switch to Bear Brand. Meanwhile, I saw my boyfriend ordering boxes of food and never buying new toys for my son. These red flags made me feel neglected and unimportant. We decided to merge all our salaries and split the bills. He managed the money and everything.
The stray cat gave birth to four kittens, and he was very excited and put in a lot of effort to take care of them. I wanted to rehome them because we were both busy as I have two jobs and a child to care for. We barely go out since there's a cat in our home, and he feels uneasy every time we go out for long periods.
As the kittens grew, they made a mess and smelled bad, especially during meals. I couldn’t stand it. His behavior changed, and he told me he'd rehome them once they were older and no longer nursing. But when the time came, he showed no intention of doing so. When his sibling asked if we needed to adopt out the cats, he said he planned to keep them without consulting me.
I was shocked and we argued, making me feel like the bad guy.
Our relationship deteriorated, and every time I went downstairs, the smell made me angry. I felt like I had no say in our home. I told him that if he didn’t rehome the new cats, we would leave. I asked for at least two weeks to find a place and prepare the house I had bought. He responded, "The cats stay no matter what." That’s when I realized he chose the cats over us.
Three days after our conversation, we had a heated argument because the cats made a mess and smelled bad. He yelled at me, "When are you leaving?" He was furious. So, my child and I left immediately.
We moved far away. A few weeks later, he visited me in our new home and tried to reconcile, expressing regret for what happened. Despite everything, I loved him, so I gave him another chance. I decided to give it another try, hoping he might change his principles since we weren't living together anymore. He visited me once a week, but every time he was here, he constantly checked his phone to see how his cats were doing in CCTV. One time, while we were out grocery shopping, he seemed so rushed and preoccupied with his cats at home that it irritated me. At that time, I didn't know I was pregnant.
When I found out I was pregnant, I shared the news with him but kept my condition the same: he must rehome the cats and keep only one. He still refused. His plan was to live in my house while his cats stayed in his house. Instead of resolving things, he accused me of being an attention seeker. The stress has been overwhelming, and I've even experienced bleeding.
Also, my ex-boyfriend is quite tight on budget and has a lot of credit card debt that he is still paying off. I only found this out after we started living together. One reason I decided to live together was to help him financially. I also bought a house that I'm waiting to be turned over. I thought the additional expenses for the cats would be manageable if it was just one not 5, but with a baby on the way, it’s a different story. He is very firm in his decision. This has made me question everything even more.
So ABYG for asking my exbf to rehome his cats?

I (W21) and my boyfriend (M22) have been dating for 3 years now, and everything has been fine until now. We have known each other since high school, and we were friends for 3 years before dating each other. Not that long ago, I was asking my boyfriend about his previous relationships, I was curious because he is my first boyfriend, but he had been in multiple relationships before dating me. When we first became friends, he quickly developed feelings for me, but I rejected him because I knew that nothing would have worked out back then, so he ended up dating different people while we were friends. I was there for most of his relationships as a friend (I haven't developed any feelings, and everything between us was platonic). Every once in a while, he would confess his feelings to me, and I would turn him down. I have seen what he was like during every breakup. After a year or two of us just being friends (he would still confess to me that he liked me), he started dating this girl. When he first started dating her (and when we first started dating), he would compare things about us, such as our hobbies, characteristics, personalities, work ethic, the sport that we played, and many other things like that. He would tell me how much she and I had in common, but at that time, I didn't think much about anything, solely because it wasn't any of my business. When they broke up, I had never seen him so heartbroken. One of the biggest reasons I thought maybe I should give him a chance was because of how long he has liked me. So recently, I brought her up because I was curious to see what type of relationship they had, and I slowly started to understand that I was being lied to. I started to realize that I was her replacement. I confronted him about the situation. I asked him who he liked first, her or me. In my mind, I always thought that he had always liked me first. The answer he gave me was her. So I asked him when he started liking me. He told me that it was a couple of months before we started dating. So that means that for three years, him telling me that he liked me was a lie. He told me that he didn't like me the times he told me he did, he claimed that he had a "thing" for me the whole time when we were friends but didn't truly develop feelings until we actually started dating, he has told me multiple times that I'm not her replacement, but the whole timeline and information just doesn't seem right. So now I just feel like his ex's rebound. What do I do? Do you guys believe him? Am I a replacement???

My bf is originally from another country but we’ve had no cultural differences or anything so far and we’ve had a nice time together. He always told me that him and his ex split up because of the move and it was too hard to do long distance. He also said they grew apart and just weren’t getting along anymore. Fair enough.
But here’s the thing: recently he admitted to me that the contract for his previous house in his home country is still in his name.. and his ex still lives there. So essentially he’s paying her bills. This upset me, but he convinced me that he couldn’t just break the contract and it’s expiring in a few weeks anyway so she will be moving out and he won’t have any ties to her anymore.
Everything I’ve found out about his ex has been against my will. I never asked him 1 thing about her but somehow I know her name, what she looks like and details about their sex life etc. im honestly tired of it. I did politely mention to him to please stop mentioning her all the time, because I feel like we can’t move forward if he does, to which he apologised and agreed. BUT….. the other day we were hanging out, having fun etc. then he randomly became quiet and stopped talking. I asked him what’s wrong and he said “I just feel bad for what I did to ex name. I moved country and left her in a shit house, I feel bad about it.”
I know it wasn’t right, but I flipped and told him to go back there then and be with her if he feels so bad. I told him stop leading me on if he’s still obsessed with her. He stormed out and sat outside by himself for an hour. I walked out and told him to go home because I’m going to sleep. We haven’t spoken properly since, and I know I shouldn’t have flipped out, but I’m too overwhelmed.
AITA?

Content warning: sexual assault, child rape, grooming.
I;23F, have had a very difficult upbringing. I was sexually abused by my father(70M currently) and my mother (62F) did absolutely nothing about the abuse. When I was taken into foster care, she was on my father’s side, saying I was making allegations against them and lying about them. My father went to prison in 2014, my mother realized that the relationship she was in with my father was very harmful and that she was also abused too. We have a lot better of a relationship now; but it still isn’t quite the typical mother-daughter relationship. I wouldn’t ever let her be around her grandchildren unsupervised because of that. If I ever have any.
But here is the thing. I was taken into foster care at 13 years old due to the neglect and sexual abuse in my parents care. Enter my sister, Lynnie(53F) Lynnie and her ex husband; Derek(51M) took me in at 17 years old when my foster mom kicked me out by saying I would seduce men(I was 15, a virgin up until the rape occurred with Derek.) and saying I would ruin their marriage. That was in October of 2017. Several months later, in February of 2018, three days after I got with my ex partner, was the first time that Derek cornered me and raped me. Gave me oral sex against my will, and did… I’ll let you finish the rest. This would go on multiple times a week for almost a year and a half until I was finally so suicidal enough I couldn’t take it anymore and I told Lynnie. And I told Lynnie when she asked why I didn’t tell her sooner was because she didn’t believe me when my foster mom was abusing me physically. I was being starved and physically abused.
Lynnie has never once picked her own children, or any children in her care; over any man. When Derek got on to me and my niece(Bailey; 21F) she would be on his side. When he hated the fact I was bisexual and that Bailey was too, she hated it too. She still hates it to this day. Bailey told her that Derek made a pass at her at 14. But it took me being raped at 17 for her to finally realize it was all true.
She talked to my niece when they first separated. And my niece told me tonight that Lynnie blamed me for the rape when it first happened. Just like she did for the abuse my foster mom did to me. Just like the abuse our dad did to me. She blamed a 17 year old girl for “seducing” a grown man. A GROWN FUCKING MAN.
I have been ready to cut contact with her for a long time because of her letting our sister, Cyndi, age 50(passed this year due to stroke) keep all of her boyfriends who would grope me in the house and wouldn’t care that I was the only one paying rent. As if it wasn’t me who was working my ass off and then on top of it, blaming me when I took a day off of work because I thought my rapist was following me to my work. I WAS FUCKING SCARED. I was fucking 18 years old and scared I was gonna get cornered in my own work.
And now my niece telling me that when she first got into contact with her; she told her that it was my fault I “seduced” him. And that I “seduced” every man due to the sexual abuse I went through from our father. I was a little girl. I was not a woman. I never seduced a man. That should never be in a persons vocabulary, a minor “seducing” a grown man!?
It’s the grown man’s fault. You don’t ever go after a minor, let alone also one who has been sexually abused and one you can take advantage of. You should never go for a minor. At all. Ever.
Minors don’t seduce people. People who are grown seduce people.
And I can’t think that my own sister would think that about me. At 17 that I seduced her ex husband into molesting me.
I didn’t seduce your ex husband. I was a minor. He raped and groomed me and you want to be upset that I want my name changed because when you look me up online it links me to him!?
Please. Please give me some encouragement I’m doing the right thing. Because I’ve been staying up at night and tossing and turning thinking about how sick she has absolutely made me.

Today I (F25) was talking with this guy (M21) who we are in a romantic situation (not a couple, we’ve been talking for a couple months now) and today he sent me a picture of a girl (instagram ss) in a bikini asking me if “I knew her” I answered with “no, what about her?” And he said “oh she’s my future wife. Just kidding, she’s a famous football player’s girlfriend” and honestly I don’t know what the fuck. Like I can’t understand why he would say that and on the moment we just didn’t kept on talking about it but it bothered be.
Then a bit later I mentioned something about my best friend and he said “oh she’s really pretty” and if that’s not enough he then said “she looks like a model. She’s completely out of my league” 🥴 what the fuuuuck. He knows her bc she’s my best friend and it’s not like he is talking to her or looking for the opportunity to meet her but like ? I need some insight I’m not even sure how I feel about the situation. In a way it bothers me because I tend to take those comments in a way where I start to compare myself and i put myself down because I don’t look and will never be as pretty as them. On the other hand I understand it is very human to be attracted to other people and it’s okay to discuss it with your partner but it just doesn’t sit right with me.
For more context, the reason I think it bothers me more is because at the very beginning of our relationship we had a discussion because of some pictures I have in the cloud with my ex boyfriend. He got so jealous, we spent like 3 weeks fighting over that and that “I was not over him”, “that wasn’t right”, “it’s not okay to still have pictures with him when I’m seeing someone else” and now he comes up with that… like why I can’t but he can make those comments? I feel like he’s doing it to push me into being jealous but I need some input. I don’t know how to handle the situation.

I don’t even know where to begin. 26F. I have had a lot go on in my life (not to short anyone else, because life is screwed). I’m just going to tell my story because I don’t know what else to do. As I’m telling this story please keep in mind, I don’t have all of the information and I’ve been kind of surviving up until this point. When I was 3-8 months old my father packed me and the dog up, and left my mother without telling her while she was at work back in 1997(Florida to Pennsylvania). having no idea because I was an infant, going in to toddler my dad loved the crap out of me. I felt safe, and cared for. My dad ended up sending me to a catholic school for 1st- 5th. started growing and realized that I have a difficultly keeping concentrated, was way friendler than everyone. @ 9 years old he had me speak to my mother for the first time and all she said was mean shit about him and I cried and hung up.
I had noticed my dad started to grow aggravated with me, and would say some down right mean shit. Not let me have my own personality, Embarrassed me by writing mean shit about what I did wrong on sticky notes and would tell me to keep in on my shirt all day at school. Back me into corners like he was a big bully if I didn’t do things right/his way. He through a birthday party for me when I was 11 and then was like “look at how nobody showed up” when he was most likely the reason they didn’t. Before sixth grade started, he moved us back down to Florida. So from catholic school to public. I noticed bigger changes in him and it was a complete 180 for me, going from a religious school to a public. It was like there was no longer the happiness in him and he would pick on me and bully me, when I started going to public schools I was bullied as well there. I would come home from school crying and he stated “I’ll give you a reason to cry”. Would be very physically abusive. Would even threaten to send me to my mothers which I was scared of because of the mean shit she said when I was 9. He sent me to another girls mom to learn about “women things”- literally just how to shave my f**** legs. I eventually went to the schools therapist in 6th grade and tried to tell them what was going on without getting my dad in trouble or him hearing about it and doing something worse, that didn’t happen. I guess I blacked out most of my memory’s about things because of the way I needed to cope but I remember writing him letters and begging him to talk to me because he started just not speaking to me at all, would leave me at home while he worked and told me to lock the doors and hide. I eventually tried to disconnect from it all in my head to go with the motions. Eventually before 8th grade started we moved up to Maryland and moved in with my cousins because he had claimed he lost a lot of money in Florida( in recent years he told me the school was trying to get him charged for the things I said back then to the therapist.) we became more distant because he wasn’t very friendly and would hide in the basement. Moved into my god parents house because eventually he had enough issues with my cousins he didn’t want to be “there problem” anymore. We became more distant as he would just hide in there basement as well, I’d go down there just to talk with him and he’d just be this mean person I didn’t know anymore. Still being a very emotionally abusive person. I got arrested 3 months before graduation because I had weed and cigarettes at school.
When I was 18 I moved into my 2nd boyfriend’s house. Not a good idea looking back at it because it was totally a trap house and I had no clue what I was doing there.(drugs) that’s what I was doing. He had no clue & didn’t care to notice. A lot of co-dependence was there because I stayed there for 4 years.
In 2018 (I was 18 at this point) he was going delirious for about 4-5days and would tell me stuff like take my stuff, I’m going to die ect. Wouldn’t let me take him to the hospital, just wanted to die, thank god my god mother was there when he collapsed and had a ambulance come and get him, he went into a diabetic coma it lasted for 1.5 months or so, he came out of it and basically told me he should’ve died and that he wanted to.
That made things worse mentally for me, I did a lot of fucked up things in the 4 years I was with the boy I was doing drugs with, he also was very physically abusing, as so was I at this point. We broke up and I did everything I could not to go back to living with my father who ended up with enough money to buy a place in my name. I ended up living there for a while and nothing good came from it.
A lot of drinking and boyfriends and dumb shit happened and I was completely out of it until I got a DWI in late 2019. Really woke me up. I started wanting better for myself, knowing I could just didn’t know how. I got into YET ANOTHER RELATIONSHIP, and thought it was good for me, two years in we decided we were going to buy a home (23 years old at this point) we bought it and a lot was wrong with the house and clearly the boy I bought it with because he was into a really odd kink, had girls in his phone, and would not introduce me to his female friends. On top of that he did not doing ANYTHING to help me fix the home. A year into owning the home I broke up with him and lost my job. I was depressed for 7-8 months, got another job and about 1.5 years after the break up someone came up to me and asked me on a date. (I still lived with my ex in the house we own). (I was completely honest with him and up front about everything.)
He has shown me grace, kindness, and compassion. He had shown me a whole new perspective in life. He also had gone through a really traumatic past. Starting of the relationship was rough, I was feral and he gets defensive really easy. We have stuck this thing out and I am 7 months in therapy and he just had his first session in years today. I would like to consider this success. I just changed therapist because the one I had been going to wasn’t as good as I would’ve liked them to be. We are now 1.5 years in, and I’m still trying to figure myself out and currently won’t hear from the new therapist until the 21st of may. I’m struggling mentally but not half as bad as I used to. I guess I’m just looking for new perspectives and some positive words at this point. My boyfriend and I are on opposite schedules for the next 2.5 months and I can tell I’m still very co-dependent, in my head I’m hoping his new therapist doesn’t tell him we are not right for each other. I’m so full of stress and trauma it’s crazy. I don’t even know who I am or if I fully feel happy in any situation.
Any kind words would help. Sorry for the all over the place read.

I remember how she would send pictures of her vagina as a “joke” to all the guys who were in long relationships.
When she got called out by me, she said my boyfriend is literally her brother (sounds like incestish if that’s the case)
When she came into town, she HAD to change in the living room where me and my boyfriend were even though there were two private bedrooms and private bathrooms.
I’m mad at my ex for never putting up boundaries with this girl, but I wish she was just normal. It gave me such a bad experience for my first relationship.
It makes me irritated that because I stood up for myself and called her out I was the “villain” but because she spoke nicely everything she did was ok. She was this constant victim.
I wish my boyfriend didn’t constantly stand up for her and say “she doesn’t know any better” she’s almost 30, she knows. But when I felt uncomfortable I was supposed to just deal with it.

This is a real story from my friend .. it happened to his ex gfs family
My friend “A” was dating a girl a few years back, his gf’s mom lived in Yakima, Wa and they went to live w her for about a year. One day they tell my friend that his gf’s uncle (gf’s mom’s brother) who lived in Mexico was sitting in the kitchen one night when he seen a evil witch outside through the window and was so scared he didnt talk for few days. Fast forward a few years, A’s gf was walking through Tijuana one day when a palm readebruja type of lady walks up to her asking if she could read her palm, A’s gf declined her offer thinking the lady just wanted her money but the lady then tells A’s gf that she was not interested in the “powerful bill” she had on her. A’s gf had a 100$ bill in her pocket, but the lady offered to read her palm for free, so A’s gf agreed and the lady proceeds to read her palm and then tell her their was a powerful curse on her and her family. Fast forward another year or so. The gf’s mom who lived in Yakima,Wa got into a relationship with a man from Tijuana who was in jail but getting out soon, she was so in love w this guy she left everything in Washington and moved to Tijuana to be w him. Not long after the mom moved to Tj to be with her new boyfriend she gets in a nasty car accident leaving her almost totally paralyzed, from what my friend said she could only move her eyes, almost in a vegetative state. Young mom who left her good job in a hospital in WA to be w this new bf now basically totally paralyzed. As family members now take care of her (her brother, the uncle who seen the witch in mex) go to her house to collect all her things as she was now paralyzed living w them, when they go to her place to collect her things the brotheuncle looking through her things finds a piece of “dried skin/leather” thing with the a evil old witch face carved into it, the same evil witch he seen outside his window a few years back . The mom of friends gf now ex is still paralyzed to this day .. this story always gives me the chills.

So I(19M) met a girl a few years ago. Let’s call her Haley. She’s 19F now but we were both like 15 when we started talking. She ended up being my first high school kiss. Things ended pretty quick and we were really nothing serious, but she still seemed in to me and we hung out as friends. A few months later, I then dated her best friend for a month and a half and we broke up pretty rough. Not long after I kinda stopped talking to the both of them for like 2 years and I still basically don’t talk to the girl I dated. Now(When we are both done with our first year of college) I really like Haley. We’ve talked sporadically recently and she came to my college to visit her friend and ended up in my dorm alone until some other people walked in. I want to do something with her but think she may not be too interested and I’m not sure how to start it. I feel like she kinda likes me too because she’ll randomly send memories from the past on snap - but that’s not a common occurrence. Also, she really doesn’t snap often outside that(Maybe a couple times a day max but usually once a day) A LITTLE OFF TOPIC - The one thing I remember is when we were like 16 she asked if we’d get married when we’re like 30 if we have no one else. I remember saying no, but I felt I should have said yes(I lowkey had a shroom trip at 16 where I saw her in golden light and felt I deeply wanted her) - I feel like that may partake in your reply. ANYWAY- she kinda seems different now(That we’re in college), and probably has been with a lot of guys - Maybe I haven’t shown enough interest tho, and she had a terrible ex boyfriend who broke up with her like 3 times after I first got with her but she still mentions him sometimes when we talk. Outside that, our personalities get along really well and we talked a lot one night when we went for a drive over winter break. But, even my friend call her a whore and they don’t know my feelings for her. Yet my feelings remain, and I feel some sort of soulful connection which I believe she may replicate. WWYD in my situation?

Reasons why I could not stand Carrie as a character in season 3-4 while she was dating aiden.

1. She cheated on him, not once, but multiple times with her ex and it took her weeks to confess to it.
2. When aiden took her back, she constantly made herself a victim for a problem she created. Aiden doesn’t trust her? Whose fault is that, hers, she expected him to 100% get over it without actually doing anything to actually reassure him, you could clearly tell he was not comfortable with big and Carrie continuing a friendship together and he voiced this many times but she told him “I can’t cut him out of my life” but then complained when he never trusted her. Well how do you expect someone to trust you again when you don’t respect their boundaries?
3. She accepted an engagement when clearly she didn’t want marriage. She pretty much wasted his time knowing he wanted to settle down have children and get married, she was dishonest with him from the start and had her own commitment issues clearly.
4. Every time aiden tried to help her she would get snappy at him. He brought her a new laptop, she snapped at him, she also snapped at him at the cabin. Everything he did was always a “problem” for her.
5. She wanted a relationship, but also wanted to be seen as “single” hence for her reasoning to putting her engagement ring in a necklace instead of on her finger.

She was a toxic, narcissistic girlfriend with aiden and you cannot change my mind. Anyone who justifies her actions for cheating are just as bad, anyone who justifies her actions for dragging aiden along when clearly she didn’t want to commit and lied are just as bad, anyone who thinks her actions are justified by still being friends with her ex boyfriend that she had an affair with, you are just as bad

Four months out and I’m still quietly furious (and ashamed) of how I (F23) let my ex (M24) treat me.
His worst offenses:

• Told me TO MY FACE that he “didn’t think he could date someone smarter than him.” (I should have walked out then and there.)
  
• Consistently gave little “tips” on how I could be more social, more fun, more confident, while simultaneously making fun of my insecurities/awkwardness (any guy who justifies/defends their hurtful actions instead of apologizing is an asshole. Period).
  
• Would drop significant amounts of money on HIMSELF throughout our relationship but balked any time he had to spend money on dates/me. I always offered to pay for myself on dates. By the end, I realized whatever he did buy/get for me was out of begrudging obligation, not love. Never love.
  
• Made me feel awful on my birthday because I decided to dress up for MYSELF. Took one look at me in my favorite dress and grimaced because I “made him look bad.” (It’s really hard for me to feel beautiful/confident in my body and I was crushed. Also, I had done my best to be the most doting girlfriend ever on HIS birthday, so I stupidly thought he would do the same…)
  

Long story short, we were horribly mismatched, and I’m glad that he broke up with me (in person, at least) now. But it also terrifies me how much my self worth was affected in just 6 months of being together. I came into the dating scene late and I know now how horribly codependent I am (I was raised to never have boundaries or express my needs/negative emotions). It’s an awful, sickening feeling, realizing how easy it was to let him treat me like that. How familiar it felt. It’s so confusing, too, because in the beginning, he was a wonderful boyfriend — when he wanted to be. (Or at least, when other people were looking.)
But the worst part? The thing I keep wrestling with? Somehow, I despite all this, I loved him.
So what does that say about how I see myself?
Everyone, how can I get past this? I want to start dating again, and I KNOW there’s good guys out there, but I’m scared at how bitter and jaded I still feel sometimes… :(

female- 17 and my ex, male 17 were together for a year and were serious about our relationship. He only has his sister in her family and no one to look after him. His sister, female-21 has always had an issue with me. When he introduced me to her as girlfriend she seemed happy at first but things started to change she started picking up fight for no reason and once she held my hands so tightly that it cut my skin and he being obsessed with his sister always said that she is my everything and all. I was okay with it cause he has only her and his sister literally once said that if only she ( referring to me) was a little bit pretty I would have loved to be with her as friend I thought my boyfriend wouldn't agree with it and take my side because I am actually pretty as much as I know I have been the type of girl who was and is famous in school with boys telling me how pretty I was. And I still couldn't understand her problem with me nonetheless. Instead of defending me my bf told her sis that we could get her nose job I felt so offended like wdym but I didn't react and this continued for his finals he got less marks and this woman his sister basically blamed me for his marks and his future she was tormenting me literally but I lost it when she said that with that reputation of your family I would never allow you with my brother. His brother listening to everything just said that please understand my sister okay I was like wth this is too much and not to flex or something my family is rich and freaking reputated in the society more than their and when she tried to call out for my caste I had the upper hand she was telling how she is a Bc caste i couldn't handle it anymore and told my boyfriend I'm a freaking Oc caste and what the hell is she tryna say and it's over I can't handle this at all. And he also agreed to break up I was trying to move on and made friends again because he didn't like any of my friends literally not even a single one so I had to leave all of them and I had no one but now I could have how many friends I want so I was happy but this guy is back again and says that we should start dating again when I asked him about his sister he said she is not here currently so it's okay if we date I was like wth no wayy I'm getting back with you again. But he keeps persuading me what should I do?

Today I (F25) was talking with this guy (M21) who we are in a romantic situation (not a couple, we’ve been talking for a couple months now) and today he sent me a picture of a girl (instagram ss) in a bikini asking me if “I knew her” I answered with “no, what about her?” And he said “oh she’s my future wife. Just kidding, she’s a famous football player’s girlfriend” and honestly I don’t know what the fuck. Like I can’t understand why he would say that and on the moment we just didn’t kept on talking about it but it bothered be.
Then a bit later I mentioned something about my best friend and he said “oh she’s really pretty” and if that’s not enough he then said “she looks like a model. She’s completely out of my league” 🥴 what the fuuuuck. He knows her bc she’s my best friend and it’s not like he is talking to her or looking for the opportunity to meet her but like ? I need some insight I’m not even sure how I feel about the situation. In a way it bothers me because I tend to take those comments in a way where I start to compare myself and i put myself down because I don’t look and will never be as pretty as them. On the other hand I understand it is very human to be attracted to other people and it’s okay to discuss it with your partner but it just doesn’t sit right with me.
For more context, the reason I think it bothers me more is because at the very beginning of our relationship we had a discussion because of some pictures I have in the cloud with my ex boyfriend. He got so jealous, we spent like 3 weeks fighting over that and that “I was not over him”, “that wasn’t right”, “it’s not okay to still have pictures with him when I’m seeing someone else” and now he comes up with that… like why I can’t but he can make those comments? I feel like he’s doing it to push me into being jealous but I need some input. I don’t know how to handle the situation.

I am in serious need of guidance on a post breakup dating issue. A serious boyfriend (30) (Hank) and I (32) were together for 2 1/12 years and lived together for 1. We broke up in almost a year ago semi-amicably but stopped speaking 5 months ago.
Cut to now, I matched with a former co-worker of his on Hinge (Ben). Hank was “laid off” from that job in May 2023. However, they worked on the same team, interacted frequently while they worked together, and follow each other on Instagram but they do not have contact after Hank left that job (to my knowledge). My ex never liked Ben and would talk shit about him to me during our relationship so I was aware of their relation to one another.
Do I mention this to Ben at all or not? We have plans to get drinks later this week and I am conflicted. Hank is my ex and irrelevant to either of us since they no longer work together and haven’t for some time. On the other hand, it feels weird not mentioning it because I am allowing this guy to talk about himself and his job, some of which I already know via my ex. I had been playing dumb but he has since said where he works and the team/type of work he is in within the company (small team)...not to mention I have his first and last name and he is easily google-able.
I don’t want to come across as a crazy ex that is dating my ex-boyfriend’s former associates but I also don’t know that I owe him anything. I also want to give Ben a chance to bail if he thinks it’s strange. Keep in mind, when Hank and I were dating, I had gone to a few intimate dinner parties with partners and associates of the team but Ben was never there.
When is an appropriate time to bring this up?
P.S. (Read for additional background if interested + additional question:
Should I even pursue this at all? The chance of my ex and I getting back together is just about 0% but I low key still love him and in my delusional mind if I managed to really get my shit together maybe some fay we could...and I think that this would be something Hank (my ex) would find messed up as he feels as though Ben took his job from him (however unwarranted). I can't be certain but I think he may have even said it would bother him if we were to even break up and I were to start dating Ben. That being said, I know that they sexted while we were together (we had an open relationship but still). Additionally, I don't know where my ex and I even stand. I am assuming it isn't on good terms because he blocked my number (presumably because I called him a couple times post 3AM when I was drunk/high but I was messed up in the throws of a break up and that's typical toxic bs). I'm taking it to mean he is so over me and doesn't want to deal at all, thinks I am a mess, and couldn't care less. So more power to me? Part of me thinks, and hopes that he blocked me because he knew it was over and had to just make a clean break (I had heard he was having a bit if a life crisis shortly after our break up...not just bc of me but not nott bc of me)....I say this because for a few months after our break up we would text. Just about this and that. Nothing necessarily of substance but just little things. Also, right before he blocked me he had messaged me pictures of our old apartment and said "do you miss it?"...I think he was trying to reminisce but I'm not sure because I didn't respond, didn't plan to, and then called him drunk at 3AM. He didn't answer but then the next day when I texted him to apolgize for calling late (because I knew he hated that) he had blocked me and I found out he dropped off my childhood decorations at my brother's house rather than at mine.
Soooo it's over. I just can't help but hesitate because he did mean a lot to me and frankly he had some legit reasons for the break up. Not that I was cheating or anything but I was using drugs behind his back, which he was unaware of exactly but the affects of my behavior had repercussions (i.e. not wanting to have sex, being lazy, not being a proactive partner, not working out, etc.)....It's hard to say but I took it for granted..He was not saint either to be honest. He pushed for an open relationship that I didn't want but agreed because I was in love with him and I loved our connection.
Ok, I'm sorry. I got off topic. The question is - do I mention to this new guy that I used to date his former coworker? When do I bring it up, if at all? I had planned on playing dumb but feel as though I no longer can because it's been made crystal clear that they worked at the same company, at the same time, in the same group.

I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/ThrowRa-Alergy posting in AITAH
Concluded as per OOP
1 update - Medium
Original - 9th May 2024
Update - 10th May 2024
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AITAH for telling my bf that his daughter is not allowed in my apartment because she doesn’t stop smuggling peanuts in?
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I can’t have any contact with peanuts and I am terrified of them due to some bad experience ms ending up in the hospital. I have my shots now on me all the time. It is not exactly airborne but I could have irritation and if it for example touch something that had been in contact with peanuts i could have swollen eyes and itchy nose and throat. Ingesting is fatal.
She is 14 and has no respect what so ever for my anxiety. My bf and I moved in and she lives with us every other week. Now I told my bf that I don’t want her here because she is not respecting my boundaries. But that I understand that he doesn’t want to live with me in that case we could revert back to him being with me when he doesn’t have his daughter. He got very upset because he said that he loved me and wanted a real relationship and to live in one home.
So I told him that maybe he should be with someone who isn’t allergic then. He thinks I am being very unfair. He said well, she will probably hate the next one too and the next and the next because she wants her mom and me to be together again so it wasn’t “me specifically” that she dislikes. I said that maybe he needs to take a break from dating then until she is onboard but he said that he couldn’t be single just because his daughter wants him to. Before me he was single for 6 years and that wasn’t good enough.
Before we decided to move in together, we have done some “trial” living together and never once did his daughter do anything about the nuts. But now for 4 months she has always peanuts with her. I don’t know why she is doing this. I thought we were cool. She just smirks and says maybe if you are so allergic, maybe you’re not meant to survive(a stand up comedy bit from Louis CK)
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Comments
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ERVetSurgeon
NTA but you need to leave this relationship. She thinks it is funny and he doesn't care. The amount of disrespect for your health is amazing.
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CruelxIntention
This. He’s allowing this instead of getting to the core of it and putting the child in therapy where she clearly belongs. She’s plenty old enough to know this can kill someone and to have complete disregard over that shouldn’t be overlooked. You may love this guy but I’m betting you love breathing more.
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WonderingGemini84

"You may love this guy but I'm betting you love breathing more."

THIS!!!
You can not love someone when you're dead.
The boyfriend doesn't seem to realise how serious "the no peanuts"-thing is. This is a non-negotable. Your home should be your safe space, she doesn't respect that and he doesn't hear you (or doesn't care enough)
Throw them out OP!!!
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weeperOfChimneys
NTA, she has all but said she's attempting to kill you with peanuts. Quoting a comedian doesn't make it funny or acceptable. He hasn't bothered to search her and divest her of the nuts when he picks her up either.

OOP: He offered this as a suggestion. Visitation before she entered my apartment but I don’t want this kind of life. I was fine only seeing him on his weeks off. But I understand that he wants something more permanent than meeting every other week so he probably should find another woman

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YoghurtSnodgrass
She would probably just hide peanuts around his place for you to hopefully come in contact with. Just break up. His kid is trying to kill you.
Where is she even getting all these nuts from? Is her mom buying them for her? Does she buy them from a vending machine at school? How crazy is the little turd?
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**Judgement - NTA*\*
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Update - 1 day later
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Hi everyone! Thank you so much for really caring about a stranger with a dilemma. I was glad that I wasn’t wrong in my guts. I told my bf that I wanted to break up.
He was very sad and tried to reason with me. He suggested that we could live separately. His daughter will soon be an adult. I told him that being 18 doesn’t guarantee that she leaves the nest nor that he stops being a father either. Any time she could come across hardships and wants to move home and she needs to find that home. She couldn’t have it with me.
And about living separately, while it is fine now and some few years ahead. What about the future?
He was silent and listening to me. I felt overwhelmed because I love him. He said that the only way his daughter will be happy is when he is alone. She is in therapy but she has not shown any regards for her father or his life. She seems to not see him as an individual with feelings. He is just a father. I didn’t know what to tell him and just said that she probably needed time to grow up.
Until he moves out, his daughter is not allowed to be in my apartment. She called and threw a tantrum about her father choosing me instead. That she has the right to live with her father every other week and this shouldn’t change. I didn’t say anything, they need to fix this as a family, I am not a part of this family anymore.
He rented his apartment for a year’s contract so I don’t know how he will manage to find a new or terminate the lease so he could move back to his old apartment. Anyway he is staying here for a couple of months.
I am very sad that this beautiful relationship has come to an end. But I need to think about myself now.
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Comments
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he_nooch73
Know you made the right choice for you, your health, your safety. As someone said in your other post ‘you may love him, but you probably love breathing more’. I think you’re right about his daughter never accepting his partners. He needs to address this with her in therapy. I hope her therapist knows about the peanuts because her behaviour is truly disturbing. I’m so sorry your relationship had to end.
Commercial-Ask3416
I feel so bad for you and your boyfriend. I feel like he is stuck between a rock and hard place regarding his daughter. I know people are saying he should discipline her or this and that, but it sounds like it wouldn't work and that she would likely escalate. I work with kids like her. Hoping her not being able to live with her dad the next few months will be a wake up call for her but in my experience I doubt it. Good luck to the both of you, especially him as he has to deal with the fallout. Not your monkey, not your circus anymore.
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I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP.
Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments

I (34 F) dating a new and incredibly attractive man (34 M), and I'd like advice on whether or not it's love bombing/future faking or if he's stating his goals and needs. Please help! Green flags, or red flags? Mixed? It's long feel free to skim!

• We met online. His profile states he wants a LTR with taking things slow and not committing too early. He also really wants children. He asked some of those harder questions on the first date, and then texted a follow up "I'd like to see you again. I think there's potential."
• On our second date we made out. He didn't expect it, I did, but neither of us wanted sex that night. It was true for both, as he said he wants to try old school, wait until there is a stronger connection. He says he's looking for a future wife.
• I only have one ovary and was upfront about that. He then replied "so if we were to try one day, it would take us longer."
• We talked about sex! I love it. Wants, needs, some experiences. I'm all in on that. He mentioned a few times things like, trust me all guys like that. Next time you have a boyfriend, and not saying it's me, most men like this. He talked about keeping things fresh, as it can be hard with relationships and said "if we were together 10 years" I'd still want new things, then said "I don't know why I keep saying that."
• He wants to take it slow and suggested waiting a week before date number 3. He makes it clear and reassures me that he had a good time, will see me soon.
• We text. He made it clear we can text often, but acknowledge he's not the best at texting and he's working on it. Some days it's a check in. Sometimes a couple days go by. Sometimes we have philosophical messages. I think we both have ADHD (I for sure do) so we'll both do walls of texts equally. I grilled him about taking accountability, last time he apologized. He says I'm easy to talk to, he appreciates my open mind. I also express gratitude.
• Speaks highly of his exes. Shares a dog with one (I share a dog with my ex).

I was in a narcissistic/trauma bond relationship for many years. I have done a lot of healing and exploring in the year I have been out of that situation, however, I am so concerned about falling into this again. I believe my gut and intuition will stop this from happening, but I'd rather end things sooner than later. My gut says he's safe, and it feels that way. But, my compass may be off and this feels comfortable vs safe. Or, I'm just paranoid and getting in my own way?

I am in the throws of grief like I have never known. It is dark, lonely, and so crowded with people telling me what they think is best for me or offloading on me. For context, my partner had brain cancer at the same time but it was too late to receive treatment and he died within the week of diagnosis and I died with him that day too. It has been 9 months since my love passed. I have one friend who's brother also had brain cancer and was going through treatment last year. Today, she let me know without any warning about her brother (huge trigger for me right now can I just say, anything cancer makes me want to vomit). He is in remission... This family is loaded and put lots of money into treatment. She is in shock and will be spending time with her family. This same person also told me not to sleep with her ex-boyfriend (one of mine and my partners great friends) a week after my partner passed. They had been broken up for months and he has been one of my biggest supports. This friend offloaded on me about their break up during the first Christmas and New Years period that I endured without my love. I was just trying to survive, how am I supposed to listen to you whining about your relationship when you're both still here? I am so angry at her insensitivity. I can't fathom it at all.
So I'm letting her go. I cannot deal with the emotional turmoil that I now have to deal when it comes to her on top of my grieving. I sent her a message saying I'm so glad to hear (which I am deep down but not under the pain), masking the strongest feelings of rage and relief I have ever felt in my life. I'm thankful she won't go through what I'm going through. But I don't understand her. Is it complete denial? I have no idea. I just want to vent here because I know y'all understand. Anyways, thanks for reading. I hope everyone else is having a better grief day than I am. Sorry if lots of this doesn't make sense but I appreciate this place a lot.

My boyfriend left me, I wasn’t back home for a few days, asked him to join and he didn’t want to come. During my trip, he let me know he packed his stuff and moved out. I do want to add that my boyfriend, now ex, has BPD. I feel empty, I wanted him to come, but he didn’t want to, and now he left. I’m so confused. I’m so empty, idk if I’m strong enough for this

so for context, i (18f) am bisexual and definitely have a preference for women and my boyfriend (19m) is 100% aware of this and respects it. this will make sense later i swear; so let's call my boyfriend bob to make this easier. bob has only ever been in one serious relationship before this one, they apparently were quite "toxic" and were on and off for 3ish years.
me and bob have been dating for just over a year and it's been great. besides him getting mad over me and multiple female friends getting in our male friends car to get from point A-B or to simply go for a drive since we live in a pretty small town. mind you, these aren't just random male friends -they're 2 people we have known way before i knew my boyfriend existed and we have never flirted or had any romantic connection in any way. i never thought anything was wrong with this until bob said it made him uncomfortable that other men were driving me around (he also didn't have a license at the time)
as he's always treated me well and i respect him, i stopped going out for rides with these guys and continued with going out on the weekends with the girls. but almost every time he would pick a guy or two that went to the function and ask me a million questions about them and act as if i was interested or if the guy was around me. what really annoys me about this is that he knows i am pretty easily 'off-put' by most men and my preference for women. the amount of men he has told me to remove as followers etc… even my plug😭
he has NEVER raised even the slightest suspicion about girls im around or new female friends i make, but any new male he gets super uptight about. i have never cheated on him let alone anyone and I've actually been cheated on in the past, so i know the pain and i could never do that to someone which bob is also aware of.
i don't use snapchat, i barely post on socials, this is actually my first post here (yay??) and id let him sift through my phone if he asked. despite this, he looked through my phone one night after i was knocked out from a 10 hour shift and all he found was personal messages from my two (17f, 18f) best friends. i was super upset about this but let it go eventually. now, i felt really bad for doing this; a few (maybe 3) months later i couldn't sleep and was watching netflix on my laptop and his phone charging next to me started ringing about 2 calls before i picked up and it was just bobs (19m) best friend wanting something from bob. i let the best friend know he was asleep and that i'd get bob to call in the morning.
instead of switching his phone off, i started looking through the almost 300 friends he had added on facebook. i found his ex, PLENTY (mostly) females and got so upset. since he still had his ex added i got suspicious and looked through his notes where he has a list made WHEN DATING ME with a code of the nsfw activities he's done and with who. it was disgusting and my name was of course in there.
then, recently he "didn't plan" to run into these two females with his mate who has a crush on one. apparently the 4 of them sat in a park together and "talked" and when telling me about it said "don't be mad" when these are random girls he barely knows and i've cut off males i've been friends with since middle school.

Hi I am a (18f) and my ex best friend (14f) have been friends for six to five years and me and her met on the bus since her mom is a bus driver but imma call her Ella she and I have been off and on for years but I wanna know if I am the butthole for choosing to not be friends with her and cut off contact with her because of how she was treating our friends and me and some of the things she has done while being friends with me. So this all started back when me and our first were starting to hang out so that was back in 2022. We’re at our house we were talking having fun just chilling around. She had to leave to do something for her family while I was in the room talking to one of her friends, let’s call him Billy me and him didn’t like each other at all but we made sure to be nice to each other when Ella is around but we were constantly bickering at each other, but that’s besides the point she and Billy have been friends for years years and that’s right before I even came into the picture so I was in a different state while she was being friends with Billy bickering at each other, but that’s besides the point she and Billy have been friends for years years and that’s right before I even came into the picture so I was in a different state while she was friends with Billy but those two have been off and on for years friends to lovers time stuff and I was just a third wheel so I was basically just third wheeling them, but while she was dating him, she would have other guys added onto snap like talking to them and entertaining them like what your dating someone while talking to other guys was wild to me I didn’t say anything because I didn’t wanna meddle in their relationship and plus I didn’t really know him at the time barely but me and him have started getting really close and those few months and I decided to tell him that I hope you know your girl has been talking to some other dudes and that’s when he decided to not date her anymore so those two broke up Ella and Billy are friends still and we decided to add another member to our group which would be? laya And me and her don’t know each other about at that time we were getting to know each other and we actually became really good friends Ella thought it would be the best thing ever to be in a poly relationship with Billy and laya and here’s where things take a turn for the worst for five months those three were dating while I was over at our three were dating while I was over at her house SHE WAS TALKING TO OTHER MEN WHILE BEING IN A relationship but that’s not all she had other apps to also talk to hot other men and showing me what she was doing she had me snap them and everything was just a hell no for me and when it got to those three breaking up me and her decided to stop being friends that was right at the same time me and Josh and when it got to those three breaking up me and her just decided to stop being friends that was right at the same time me and Billy and I were talking and we were talking about her behavior and what was going on because he kept saying she kept doing this shit over and over and I was like why would you still be together with her if you knew or since I’ve told you that she was cheating on the three of you and this was back in may or june so it was fresh out of the water type shit and me, Billy, laya decided to drop Ella and start a new friendship circle to say away Ella but we also added a new member her name is Zara and she also had bad encounters with Ella and as we were being friends having fun just being chill , me and Billy started dating we were dating for two months so that was June and July but here comes the funny part. All of us decided to stop being friends and also dating each other because I was busy with school, and they were also busy with school so we just left and not have been friends when it came to me and laya she started to be friends again back in august and we were playing Fortnite we were playing anything talking having fun texting and she asked if I could adopt her. I said yes because why not. And then I found out that Laya and Billy dated broke up and then found out again Zara and Billy are dating by Ella we slowly decided to be friends again to keep the peace and have no more drama but here comes the craziest plot twist. This will happen in 2023 till like 2022 now here comes 2024 rolling in February or always hung out with each other having fun so we were just chilling. Me and Billy were liking each other our whole entire friend group dated him. I didn’t. I only dated him once maybe twice that was it learned my lesson from that but slowly, it was just a type of feelings, but it slowly fades away. That’s what it was happening to me and my daughter laya got grounded from her real parents and told me and our friends that she was grounded for a week so her boyfriend let’s call him Iggy that whole entire week. He was crying. He was missing her. Let me just say on Valentine’s Day. He said he was single and that he didn’t have a girlfriend because she got grounded and couldn’t talk to him so me and my other friend we were like on FT with him, and we were trying to get a spirits up by playing with other filters on there apparently he didn’t like the Valentines ones. I kept telling us to change it. It was whatever we did anyway, and it was messed up then right after that it was a Friday I decided to text. Laya and I was telling her that your boyfriend was saying he was single and then also the same day Zara was dating Ella and let me tell you the whole entire week. Ella was talking to laya’s bf iggy while Ella was in a whole ass relationship with one of my friends Zara so when I told both of them that Ella and Iggy were talking nonstop, calling FaceTime in texting each other on Snapchat and on phone numbers and then come to find out that those two were dating while being a whole ass relationship with two other people the other two people are laya and Zara so those too were broken, they were crying. I was trying to cheer them up when it got to but like, why would you do that to your significant other so that was my question I kept questioning why I was still friends with her, but at the same time I was just trying to keep the peace between our families. She tried to call the police on me or at least threaten me, saying if I didn’t return her switch, she called the cops on me even though she left my house at a sleepover thing. She got fucking bonkers like Billy and Ellis are no longer friends like they were hitting each other, but they were trying to get along, but it didn’t work out because I decided to be a whole ass bitch to him and not be friends and it was wild because I didn’t know so me and Billy started dating again in April and I guess Ella didn’t like how much I was talking about but she can talk about relationships though so it was random or decided to contact with each other because she was very toxic she wasn’t mature enough to handle relationship because all she ever did was cheat on every significant other she had and what was crazy is she had a app called wizz on there talking to guys WHO ARE OLDER THEN HER and now she’s dating a guy who is retarded as hell if I’m being honest like he’s a type of person that you don’t want anyone hanging around with because he kept lying about his age and then there was like a whole lot of shit with him and I just didn’t like him but like shit put me through has made me question my life choices, man like cheating on others with someone then also had the audacity to threaten my mom multiple occasions texting her late at night while she’s trying to sleep then going bad shit crazy when I called off the friendship multiple times damn well thinking you were going to change your fucking self because what you were doing was not healthy. It was toxic as hell then call me a toxic bitch who deserves no fucking life or some shit like that idk but like it’s crazy how I had to spend my high school years, trying to help her with her mental health and try to help her out anyway I can but in return I just get no help back like it was like one side of friendship I guess but the reason why I was friends with the 14 year year-old even though I’m 18 because I’m the only older kid living on our stree and she doesn’t have any of her friends living near her except me and she doesn’t have any of her friends living near her except me and most of her friends don’t talk to her and yeah everything in the span of 2021 to 2024 with was wild and not drama free.

So almost two months ago my ex boyfriend of almost two years broke up with me out of the blue. We hardly ever fought. If there were disagreements we just talked to each other. And I though we did the same with problems in our relationship and our lives. I was really happy. We had a really good relationship. Him breaking up with me left me completely broken. I not only lost my partner, but my home and my beloved cat and my life as I knew it in general. Almost two months later, I still cry everyday and have a hard time adjusting to my new life. But it has gotten better. Until last Friday/Saturday. We had not been in no contact at all. We had been texting, me telling him about my feelings, sending each other videos of the cats etc. And we also saw each other at least once a week. So before last Friday we had seen each other on Saturday. It was completely "normal". I decided then to not text him anymore, unless he were to text me first, so I did. Then Friday, after not talking for almost a week, he tells me to come over to get the rest of my stuff. The way he texted was already really cold and when I got there on Saturday he was so cold and so unfriendly to me. I kept asking him: What happened? What did I do? Why can't you be normal with me? And he just kept telling me: Taking your stuff with you is normal. We got into a bit of a fight, he got really angry. It really shattered my heart a second time. I don't know what I did to upset him so much. I texted him the next day telling him that I'm still super upset because of what happened and I want to know what's going on with him. At the end of that day, he texted me a long paragraph basically about how shit his life now is because of me. Him having to pay for the flat on his own now, him not having any close friends like I do etc. One thing he did say, I hung out with our friends the other day and I didn't ask him, if he wanted to go instead. I told him, how I'm sorry I didn't think about how he felt, but I also told him that the other stuff got nothing to do with me. He agreed after a while. He told me that he's starting to hate me, even though this isn't my fault... We kept texting a bit the next day. Or me texting and him replying me in one line stuff like "We can't ever be friends anymore" even tough that is something that he very much wanted. Or "you should go to therapy" "you'll probably understand me in a few years" I honestly don't know what I did to change our situation like this. I don't know what changed during this week we didn't talk. I think I've honestly been really nice to him, doing stuff for him, even though he broke my heart. But this person that he is now with me... It feels like I don't know him anymore. I've known him for almost 4 years and he has never acted like this. He has never been mean to me like this before..

So my ex-boyfriend and I (both late 20s) broke up last week and I just don’t know what the fuck I did.
A little context before I get into it because I talked to my therapist about this because I’ve been throwing up and depressed about this for the past week and my therapist said it could help. So I have a friend that I’ll call Diane. Diane (32F) is a REALLY big feminist (I used to be before I met my ex-bf, who was the best thing to ever happen to me and we dated for 2 years). I’ll call my ex Cam. Cam is lovable naive and sees the best in everyone. He has MASSIVE golden retriever and “if he wanted to, he would” energy. Many of my friends say that they want the kind of guy that Cam is, although he can definitely be insecure and paranoid. For the past couple months before this, I’ve kinda gotten back to my feminist nature because a friend of mine Annika (30F) nearly got SA’d and I realized that it’s still my place to stand up for women.
So, for the past couple of weeks, Cam and I have been talking more about feminism and misogyny and, while he’s been pushing back a little bit (he’s more traditional), everything was fine until a birthday party last month where Diane got drunk and went on a whole misandry speech about how men were all evil and worthless, but I didn’t stop her, even when she used Cam’s paranoia as an example as to why “all men suck” and went to describe men in a way where I could tell by Cam’s face that it really bothered him, even though it was very clear that he wasn’t the target audience really (Cam doesn’t have a lazy bone in his body and always does his share of the responsibilities and chores at the house and he doesn’t objectify women, both of those topics being her main points).
Since then until last week, Cam refused to have my help with anything. He did all the responsibilities by himself and treated me like he was my caretaker instead of his partner. Our sex life also fell off a cliff. We usually did it multiple times a day, and then he just completely stopped and when we got into a fight about it, he just said he was tired Scc’s didn’t feel well. Then he just drops the bombshell on me at a dinner after I get off work. I feel hollow and dead. Is this my fault? And how can I get my ex back?