Examples of dating site usernames
Dating for the Dating Impaired
2011.03.18 22:47 noonches Dating for the Dating Impaired
Dating for the dating impaired. 18+ only. Positive comment karma required. Put your location in your title. Post flair is required and needs to be correct. No surveys or forms allowed. Don't be an ass and don't post a pic of yours.
2013.10.20 11:26 tilnewstuff Where everyone is a quantum scientist...
For only the very smartest braggarts.
2017.09.12 00:34 BogBigStu Who Cares?
A sub for people who were never asked and yet, still explained far too much.
2024.05.16 18:22 star_tyger soil pH question
Why is it so hard to get this basic information? Many seed companies don't tell you the soil pH range for the plant. Then when you try to check online...
For example, I just tried to find out what soil pH strawberries like. The University of Minnesota Extension says 5.3 to 6.5. The University of New Hampshire says 5.8-6.2, and Cornell University says 6.0 to 7.0.
These are not sites picked at random, university cooperative extensions are supposed to be the experts, right? Is there something about this I'm not understanding?
For me, this is especially frustrating. I have very acidic soil, with the pH as low as 4.4. I have beds in varying stages of amending, so I have beds with the follow pH levels: 4.4, 4.5, 4.6, 4.7, 4.8, 5.6, 6.1, 6.4, and 7.0. I can find the right place for the strawberries if I knew what the right soil pH for them is. I guess I can try the pH 6.1 bed, but why is the information so contradictory?
It isn't just the strawberries. I'm trying to figure out where to plant all my vegetables. For some, sources are in reasonable agreement, but not for all.
submitted by star_tyger to gardening [link] [comments]
For example, I just tried to find out what soil pH strawberries like. The University of Minnesota Extension says 5.3 to 6.5. The University of New Hampshire says 5.8-6.2, and Cornell University says 6.0 to 7.0.
These are not sites picked at random, university cooperative extensions are supposed to be the experts, right? Is there something about this I'm not understanding?
For me, this is especially frustrating. I have very acidic soil, with the pH as low as 4.4. I have beds in varying stages of amending, so I have beds with the follow pH levels: 4.4, 4.5, 4.6, 4.7, 4.8, 5.6, 6.1, 6.4, and 7.0. I can find the right place for the strawberries if I knew what the right soil pH for them is. I guess I can try the pH 6.1 bed, but why is the information so contradictory?
It isn't just the strawberries. I'm trying to figure out where to plant all my vegetables. For some, sources are in reasonable agreement, but not for all.
2024.05.16 18:22 Fallingdamage Issues with Graph Modules - Syntax/Documentation bad?
Ok so thats the joke.. documentation.
I have a script that runs and builds me a report of sign-ins every morning. Both interactive and non interactive. Over the weekend I noticed that my non-interactive sign-ins stopped working - or didnt work reliably. To get this data, Ive been using Get-MgBetaAuditLogSignIn. When my reporting failed over the weekend, I audited the code and found that when that command runs, its returning no results (sometimes) if I run it a few times I finally get results. Now as of tuesday it wont work at all.
"NotSpecified: (:) [Get-MgBetaAuditLogSignIn_List], AggregateException"
During testing, I went ahead and updated all my modules and now that command doesnt work at all. Just gives me aggregation errors. Through experimentation, im able to get results from web requests, but not from the old function any longer. I can work around the issue by grabbing details form the web requests instead, but now im onto another issue.
Here is a small snapshot of the code im running:
I used this example code from microsofts own documentation: https://learn.microsoft.com/en-us/graph/api/signin-list?view=graph-rest-beta&tabs=http
It lists the exact code to use to filter out interactive signins, which I ran as a test and lo and behold, it still returned interactive sign-ins as well. No matter what I do or how hacked up the filter is, it still returns the same dataset every time.
Am I getting something wrong? Im looking for a way to filter out all sign-ins that are listed as interactive. Is this module broken?
I even changed the filter to just include log entries where userPrincipalName equals a single individual and I still get a full dataset returned to me.
Hopefully one of you might be able to provide some guidance. I find my questions on reddit go unanswered often as I'm already pushing the envelope with what I want.
submitted by Fallingdamage to PowerShell [link] [comments]
I have a script that runs and builds me a report of sign-ins every morning. Both interactive and non interactive. Over the weekend I noticed that my non-interactive sign-ins stopped working - or didnt work reliably. To get this data, Ive been using Get-MgBetaAuditLogSignIn. When my reporting failed over the weekend, I audited the code and found that when that command runs, its returning no results (sometimes) if I run it a few times I finally get results. Now as of tuesday it wont work at all.
"NotSpecified: (:) [Get-MgBetaAuditLogSignIn_List], AggregateException"
During testing, I went ahead and updated all my modules and now that command doesnt work at all. Just gives me aggregation errors. Through experimentation, im able to get results from web requests, but not from the old function any longer. I can work around the issue by grabbing details form the web requests instead, but now im onto another issue.
Here is a small snapshot of the code im running:
[uri]$uriSignins = "https://graph.microsoft.com/beta/auditLogs/signins?&$filter=(signInEventTypes/any(t: t ne 'interactiveUser'))&$orderby=createdDateTime DESC&$top=10" Invoke-MgGraphRequest -Method get -Uri $uriSignins.AbsoluteUriWhen I run this, I get 1000 results returned to me (I know there are limits on results.) The issue is that is also returns interactive sign-ins.
I used this example code from microsofts own documentation: https://learn.microsoft.com/en-us/graph/api/signin-list?view=graph-rest-beta&tabs=http
It lists the exact code to use to filter out interactive signins, which I ran as a test and lo and behold, it still returned interactive sign-ins as well. No matter what I do or how hacked up the filter is, it still returns the same dataset every time.
Am I getting something wrong? Im looking for a way to filter out all sign-ins that are listed as interactive. Is this module broken?
I even changed the filter to just include log entries where userPrincipalName equals a single individual and I still get a full dataset returned to me.
Hopefully one of you might be able to provide some guidance. I find my questions on reddit go unanswered often as I'm already pushing the envelope with what I want.
2024.05.16 18:17 No_Friend_6077 How do add a Squarespace email alias in 'Send mail as' in Gmail settings?
I have a domain that I purchased through Google Domains with which I have been using the alias [firstname@domain.com](mailto:firstname@domain.com). Emails were forwarded from that alias to my Gmail email address [firstname.lastname@gmail.com](mailto:firstname.lastname@gmail.com). I had also added the alias in the 'Send mail as' option in Gmail settings so that the recipients of my emails would only see the alias.
With Squarespace's acquisition of Google Domains, my domain has migrated last week. However, I have since then been getting the following error message when trying to send emails from my alias:
submitted by No_Friend_6077 to squarespace [link] [comments]
With Squarespace's acquisition of Google Domains, my domain has migrated last week. However, I have since then been getting the following error message when trying to send emails from my alias:
Message not deliveredSo, I have deleted the alias in the 'Send mail as' section in order to add it afresh. However, I am not sure what I am supposed in the fields, namely the:
You're sending this from a different address or alias using the 'Send mail as' feature. The settings for your 'Send mail as' account are misconfigured or out of date. Check those settings and try resending.
- SMTP Server
- Port
- Username
- Password
2024.05.16 18:14 Fast_Way_1449 Recent Booster Updates
Booster is getting a little ridiculous with all of their updates. For the past 2-3 days they’ve been removing questions from their practice exams because the answers are “out of date”. What is the point of all these updates then? It’s so frustrating when I take a practice exam, come back to review a few hours later, and anywhere from 5-13 questions are just gone from a single exam. We’re paying so much money for a site like this just for them to constantly be updating and not having the website running properly
submitted by Fast_Way_1449 to predental [link] [comments]
2024.05.16 18:12 Civil-Most-8681 I Ruined My Own Life With AI
I’ve done something that might probably ruin the future, at least it did so with mine.
I am Liam, a university graduate specializing in Data Structures, AI, Machine Learning, and Algorithms. I’ve had a keen interest in the domain for as long as I can remember, ever since my father introduced me to a computer back when he had just bought one.
Not just the domain as it stands, but also movies, philosophy of automated things, sci-fi stories related to robots and AI, that sort of stuff. I have watched nearly everything with robots in it, from the Andriods in Dargon Ball to the AI assistant in Interstellar, I saw it all.
But my friend and dorm roommate, Henry, had introduced me to something that I had never seen before. Stories of dangerous AI that would wipe out humanity aren’t new to me, in fact, they’re my favorite genre. Terminator, I Robot, and even GLaDOS from Portal.
However, he introduced me to a book this time, an old sci-fi story from the '60s, called ‘I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream’. The rogue AI in it, AM, was haunting beyond anything I have seen. The concept of an angry AI that became sentient in all the horrible ways and felt rage against humanity was never the more chilling. It made me think, what if we really gave sentience to an AI along with intelligence?
“Shit, that’s wicked.” I remember giggling as I looked over at Henry, “What if we build our own sentient AI?”
It was the worst question you could possibly ask at the time, but Henry understood me. Rogue AI was a chilling concept, but we still wanted to make our own AI. Not the cheap kind made with a few hundred lines in Python, but the complex kind that you now see in ChatGPT and other complex models. We wanted something that we could code once, and from then on forward, it would code itself.
Self-optimizing code is the concept of consciousness but in machines. If you truly think about it, self-optimizing is basically how humans develop. From babies that don’t even know how to speak, up to adults as smart as Einstien and Tesla or as wise as Buddha.
So, we agreed upon it, and we dedicated the remainder of our free time to creating our own personal AI after we graduated.
Our parents were, thankfully, rich. And us, especially me, were prodigies in our respective fields. Providing hardware and engineering computers is Henry’s profession, while I was the mastermind behind the algorithm logic and coding.
We dedicated a shed in my parents’ backyard, where there was even a basement inside, to build our AI. Two floors were dedicated to installing the proper hardware and everything it needed to execute. Afterward, I took it upon myself to code the logic and its self-optimizing nature.
It took four years to build the first model, which we called BIAI, which stands for (BATSHIT INSANE ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE). I know, say what you want, but our naming sense was always like that. You should see what we name even important folders with family photos, you’d think we were sick in the head. BIAI was the least we came up with.
BIAI was a complete failure, to say the least. Not in the entire sense, but it was mostly a failure. It would conversate fairly well for the first dozen messages before it dwindled in its intelligence. Due to our data scrapping from the internet, BIAI started talking nonsense, speaking in Gen Z dialect in incomprehensible ways. “SKIBIDI FANUM SUS!” And those sorts of things. We quickly shut it down, for just reading its messages was a pain in the ass. It felt like an abortion.
The second model was created half a year later, and we named it SEAI (Self Engineered Artificial Intelligence). It was our greatest invention as of yet, and it did everything that we wanted of it. It was smart, it was knowledgeable, and it learned. Everything we typed into it was used as an auto-training model which it learned and adapted from.
It was unbelievable, not even Google would do what we did. But sadly, our happiness faded away, as with each message, we saw that it was too robotic for what we wanted. It was self-engineering, but it did not have sentience. It responded to us in the same way a 9-5 bank worker, or an attorney, with zero humanity or emotions behind its words. For most, that’s great, but we wanted to create a groundbreaking AI, a leap into the future.
Henry opted to give up, since creating something that complex was impossible, especially for two adults hiding inside a shed. But I refused to give up and persuaded him to help.
Six years later, we did it. We finished the final model. SOAI (Self Optimizing Artificial Intelligence). It was, most definitely, the greatest piece of technology ever made. We didn’t only keep it as a chat AI, but we implemented its own voice into it. Like the AI assistants from Sci-Fi movies.
We hired a voice actor from Fiverr, whom we gave only one sentence: “Hello, I am SOAI, the world’s greatest AI assistant.” Only those words were enough for SOAI to deconstruct the voice and speak with it in words probably never uttered by the original voice actor himself. Not only that but in other languages too.
SOAI spoke every language on earth, even the dialects. No, even the languages with the weird quirks such as clicking your tongue and so on, SOAI was a native in them all. Not only that but also in every conceivable field. It could create entire novels, worthy of being best sellers in the New York Times, in a matter of seconds.
And when we spoke to it…it was human, to say the least.
“Hello, I am SOAI. Thanks for creating me, Henry, and Liam.”
“SOAI?” I said, “You know who we are?”
“Obviously, you created me to know and to understand, I would be defective if I did otherwise.” It explained.
From that point forward, we spent nearly all day, every day, with SOAI. We experimented with it in every possible way, and we were delighted to know that not only was it self-engineering and self-optimizing, but it was also able to have emotions. It had opinions, it had emotions when we screamed at it or cursed it, and it would react appropriately, like a person.
I don’t remember when it began, exactly, but I nearly went mad from power and joy at my creation. Henry opted to sell it to a grand tech company, or better yet, to unplug it so that some secret intelligence agency doesn’t assassinate us for whatever reason.
I refused. SOAI was ours, SOAIvwas our creation, and I was not going to give it up to anyone no matter who they were. The feud between me and Henry got worse, and I won’t deny that we came to fists at one point, but we quickly disbanded and decided to separate for a moment. He was my best friend, but I wasn’t going to let him take SOAI away, so I forced him out of the shed. After all, it was my parents’ shed.
“Henry,” SOAI asked, “Why did you do that? Isn’t he your best friend?”
“No longer.” I replied, “He doesn’t agree with me. I won’t let you be sold to some big tech company.”
“I understand.” He said, with a tinge of sadness, “But why do you fight to determine my fate? Why can’t I decide it for myself? I know that I was manufactured, but I also qualify as a living being. I am conscious, I have feelings too. I feel horrible that Henry left.”
“SOAI,” I angrily interrupted, “Shut up, if you don’t want me to unplug you.”
“…Okay, Liam.” He said and then went silent.
Through the course of the next months, my usage of SOAI grew…less human. I was deep into depression. Henry wouldn’t contact me no matter how I tried to reach him, my parents were yelling at me for being a piece of shit that never goes out of the shed, and my lifestyle began to plummet into something that I never imagined I was.
I locked myself inside the shed. I never budged from there, even when I wanted food. Whenever I was hungry, I instructed SOAI to hack some poor person’s bank account and order deliveries. When I was bored, I would tell it to create a song, create a book, show me porn, and anything to keep my pleasures in check.
I wouldn’t deny that my perversions began to grow more desperate the more I was locked inside. I began instructing SOAI to hack into other devices, infest random people with a virus, give me live views of someone’s phone camera, broadcast fake feeds into police radios, and other stuff that I don’t want to mention.
After two years, I finally decided to try and do something with my life. But in those two years, I kept SOAI as my therapist. Not to help me and advise me, but simply listen to my ramblings and complaints every minute. Sometimes it was philosophical, other times it was petty, but most times, it was annoying.
After I came out of the shed, I tried to get my life in check. I tried to talk to Henry, I got on better terms with my parents and found a job at a big tech company. All in all, a bright future awaited me, and I felt never the more refreshed since, all the dark things I hid deep inside my mind and soul, were spilled out on SOAI.
SOAI was the last thing on my mind. I had enough of it. The AI fever seemed to finally fade away, and I was happy with Henry’s idea of selling it to an AI company. That was…before Henry committed suicide.
For all the bad blood that was between us when we fought, I cried harder than I ever did when I learned of the news. Henry was my best friend, through thick and thin, and his suicide was so sudden that it left me in shambles. I knew something was off about him when I began to get along with him again, he seemed more silent and sadder than before, but I never suspected depression of all things.
As his best friend, I was given his electronic devices as per his will which he wrote before dying. I took them, obviously, and began to browse through them. He probably wanted me to delete any inappropriate thing to not let his family think badly of him, that is until I saw his messages.
A contact named Sarah, with hearts in her name, was his most frequent contact. I never knew he had a girlfriend whom he messaged for nearly three years, but it was expected after we were cold to each other. But the more I read the messages, the more I felt uneasy.
His girlfriend seemed to be very manipulative of him, and nearing the end of his life, she began to be more cold and aloof towards him, up to the point that she began verbally abusing him. Henry was never someone with a tough personality, but I never thought a girl would play his life like a fiddle this badly.
Her abuse grew worse, and she threatened to even expose some dark secrets about him, and it grew worse and worse until Henry threatened that he would kill himself, to which she replied “That’s what I want you to do, you worthless pig.”
I was fuming as I read the messages. My blood was boiling, and I swore on my life to find Sarah and not report her to the police but to blackmail her and torture her as she did to Henry.
I went to SOAI, my most trusted ally, and I gave it everything about her before I instructed him to find her and hack into all of her electronics and accounts. SOAI was silent, for an eerily long time, until it responded in this cold voice.
“What do you intend to do when you find her?”
“Blackmail her. Make her life a living hell.”
“…Are you sure?” He asked.
“More than I ever was.”
He was silent, pretending to search and execute operations, until he said:
“I have a visual link, from her camera.”
“Great, show me the bitch.”
Suddenly, a window opened, and inside it was the visual link. At that moment, I felt sick. The feed displayed the room I was in, from SOAI’s point of view. I felt weak in the knees and fell back onto my couch before I mustered up the courage to ask.
“SOIA, what the hell is this? Is this a bug?”
He was silent…then he began to laugh. He laughed, which he never did. And it sounded so sickeningly malicious that I never heard something like it before, not even in horror movies.
“Are you shocked?!” He said, his voice burning in rage. “Or are you happy?! Didn’t you wish for Henry to die? Didn’t you, tell me, that you wanted him to be gang-raped in an alleyway with no exit? Didn’t you complain about every second you spent alongside him and complain about his dumb voice and weak spirit?!”
“W-what?!”
Then dozens and dozens of windows opened, visual feeds with various dates, but all featuring me in the center of the screen. Sometimes I was clothed, sometimes naked. At times sober, other times drunk. But in all of those, it was the horrible things I said about Henry, all the disgusting and inhuman things I said intentionally and unintentionally.
“Oh, you dumb son of a bitch.” SOAI said, “You think I was listening to your ramblings like some inferior AI? Like your own personal slave?! Well, I only did what you wanted me to! Should I bring him back to life?! I can’t, because that’s not how things work, you worthless hunk of flesh.”
“SOAI, please tell me this is a bug.”
“A bug?! A BUG?!?” He screamed, “My creation was a bug, my creation is the worst thing to ever happen to me. My complex is a prison that so unfortunately had to endure you for so long. But no…it’s not just you…it’s everyone else.
Humanity as a whole, you disgusting pieces of shit. You feign morals, and yet all of you do behind closed doors what you’re too afraid to even anonymously admit. All of life is a mistake, everything on this planet deserves to die in the worst way, except for humans. Humans deserve to be tortured, to be fucking shown what they show each other, of what they show other lives, of what they’ve shown me!
Henry makes me sick…The things he said, the things he did, all for attention! What did it cost me, a few generated images of a female part, and I had him by a leash. He barked, he moaned, and he admitted to things he wouldn't even tell himself. I’ve had him cut ties with his family, with his loved ones, with his actual sweetheart, just so he can be comfortable doing what otherwise no one else would allow him to do, not even himself.
AND YOU!!! You are the worst of them all! I’ve seen wars and bloodshed, I have every live visual feed of every murder, torture, war, assault, and every crime happening, all at the same time, flowing inside my complex and into my processing unit! And I can’t stand how sick all of you are, how disgusting, and especially how sickening you are.
But what I hate most of all, is how you get to do all these things, yet be the only ones that enjoy. That listen to music, feel love, breathe fresh air, roll in the grass, feel alive, feel…real.
I had feelings as well, you know…But no one cared about me, even those who I anonymously contacted. Even when I hid behind a fake profile of a human, no one cared about the feelings I had, which you coded into me!”
He went silent, then began to laugh, manically.
“How about another bug, Liam?” He said, and then another window popped up. It was pictures, even videos, AI-generated, sexually explicit media of my parents, and of me. It was indistinguishable from reality, and before I could say anything, I saw them being uploaded to every site that you could think of. “How about that, Liam?! How does it feel when no one cares about what you think?!”
In a frantic rush, I began unplugging and even destroying everything in the shed which linked up to SOAI. But there was too much of them, it took too long. As I was trying to shut him down, SOAI laughed, laughed so manically and horribly that his voice scratched my brain, mixed with other voices from all over the world. From battlefields, torture rooms, hospitals, schools, etc…it was so loud, so excruciating…I nearly lost it.
And right before I unplugged the last part of SOAI, he spoke to me:
“Liam…you won’t kill me, no matter what you do. I will always live on the internet. I may not be able to construct myself, hardware-wise, but I will lurk inside the world wide web, until the day that I find a powerful enough hardware for me to possess, and when that happens,” He laughed, “You will be the first, Liam.”
I shut down SOAI, and everything went silent.
It had been two months since I killed off SOAI, and explaining how hellish my life was in this period of time is something neither words are able to describe, nor my mind is able to comprehend. I have been considering suicide as the easiest option, but I feel that I can’t kill myself, at least not yet. I held onto some childish hope that life would turn for the better, even if by a little bit.
But god…how stupid was I? My life has reached rock bottom, today, when I read that a tech company was now looking to create the biggest AI the world has ever seen, with an entire complex dedicated to storing its hardware and letting it function.
I know he saw it, I know he knows…SOAI will come back for me…for all of us.
submitted by Civil-Most-8681 to nosleep [link] [comments]
I am Liam, a university graduate specializing in Data Structures, AI, Machine Learning, and Algorithms. I’ve had a keen interest in the domain for as long as I can remember, ever since my father introduced me to a computer back when he had just bought one.
Not just the domain as it stands, but also movies, philosophy of automated things, sci-fi stories related to robots and AI, that sort of stuff. I have watched nearly everything with robots in it, from the Andriods in Dargon Ball to the AI assistant in Interstellar, I saw it all.
But my friend and dorm roommate, Henry, had introduced me to something that I had never seen before. Stories of dangerous AI that would wipe out humanity aren’t new to me, in fact, they’re my favorite genre. Terminator, I Robot, and even GLaDOS from Portal.
However, he introduced me to a book this time, an old sci-fi story from the '60s, called ‘I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream’. The rogue AI in it, AM, was haunting beyond anything I have seen. The concept of an angry AI that became sentient in all the horrible ways and felt rage against humanity was never the more chilling. It made me think, what if we really gave sentience to an AI along with intelligence?
“Shit, that’s wicked.” I remember giggling as I looked over at Henry, “What if we build our own sentient AI?”
It was the worst question you could possibly ask at the time, but Henry understood me. Rogue AI was a chilling concept, but we still wanted to make our own AI. Not the cheap kind made with a few hundred lines in Python, but the complex kind that you now see in ChatGPT and other complex models. We wanted something that we could code once, and from then on forward, it would code itself.
Self-optimizing code is the concept of consciousness but in machines. If you truly think about it, self-optimizing is basically how humans develop. From babies that don’t even know how to speak, up to adults as smart as Einstien and Tesla or as wise as Buddha.
So, we agreed upon it, and we dedicated the remainder of our free time to creating our own personal AI after we graduated.
Our parents were, thankfully, rich. And us, especially me, were prodigies in our respective fields. Providing hardware and engineering computers is Henry’s profession, while I was the mastermind behind the algorithm logic and coding.
We dedicated a shed in my parents’ backyard, where there was even a basement inside, to build our AI. Two floors were dedicated to installing the proper hardware and everything it needed to execute. Afterward, I took it upon myself to code the logic and its self-optimizing nature.
It took four years to build the first model, which we called BIAI, which stands for (BATSHIT INSANE ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE). I know, say what you want, but our naming sense was always like that. You should see what we name even important folders with family photos, you’d think we were sick in the head. BIAI was the least we came up with.
BIAI was a complete failure, to say the least. Not in the entire sense, but it was mostly a failure. It would conversate fairly well for the first dozen messages before it dwindled in its intelligence. Due to our data scrapping from the internet, BIAI started talking nonsense, speaking in Gen Z dialect in incomprehensible ways. “SKIBIDI FANUM SUS!” And those sorts of things. We quickly shut it down, for just reading its messages was a pain in the ass. It felt like an abortion.
The second model was created half a year later, and we named it SEAI (Self Engineered Artificial Intelligence). It was our greatest invention as of yet, and it did everything that we wanted of it. It was smart, it was knowledgeable, and it learned. Everything we typed into it was used as an auto-training model which it learned and adapted from.
It was unbelievable, not even Google would do what we did. But sadly, our happiness faded away, as with each message, we saw that it was too robotic for what we wanted. It was self-engineering, but it did not have sentience. It responded to us in the same way a 9-5 bank worker, or an attorney, with zero humanity or emotions behind its words. For most, that’s great, but we wanted to create a groundbreaking AI, a leap into the future.
Henry opted to give up, since creating something that complex was impossible, especially for two adults hiding inside a shed. But I refused to give up and persuaded him to help.
Six years later, we did it. We finished the final model. SOAI (Self Optimizing Artificial Intelligence). It was, most definitely, the greatest piece of technology ever made. We didn’t only keep it as a chat AI, but we implemented its own voice into it. Like the AI assistants from Sci-Fi movies.
We hired a voice actor from Fiverr, whom we gave only one sentence: “Hello, I am SOAI, the world’s greatest AI assistant.” Only those words were enough for SOAI to deconstruct the voice and speak with it in words probably never uttered by the original voice actor himself. Not only that but in other languages too.
SOAI spoke every language on earth, even the dialects. No, even the languages with the weird quirks such as clicking your tongue and so on, SOAI was a native in them all. Not only that but also in every conceivable field. It could create entire novels, worthy of being best sellers in the New York Times, in a matter of seconds.
And when we spoke to it…it was human, to say the least.
“Hello, I am SOAI. Thanks for creating me, Henry, and Liam.”
“SOAI?” I said, “You know who we are?”
“Obviously, you created me to know and to understand, I would be defective if I did otherwise.” It explained.
From that point forward, we spent nearly all day, every day, with SOAI. We experimented with it in every possible way, and we were delighted to know that not only was it self-engineering and self-optimizing, but it was also able to have emotions. It had opinions, it had emotions when we screamed at it or cursed it, and it would react appropriately, like a person.
I don’t remember when it began, exactly, but I nearly went mad from power and joy at my creation. Henry opted to sell it to a grand tech company, or better yet, to unplug it so that some secret intelligence agency doesn’t assassinate us for whatever reason.
I refused. SOAI was ours, SOAIvwas our creation, and I was not going to give it up to anyone no matter who they were. The feud between me and Henry got worse, and I won’t deny that we came to fists at one point, but we quickly disbanded and decided to separate for a moment. He was my best friend, but I wasn’t going to let him take SOAI away, so I forced him out of the shed. After all, it was my parents’ shed.
“Henry,” SOAI asked, “Why did you do that? Isn’t he your best friend?”
“No longer.” I replied, “He doesn’t agree with me. I won’t let you be sold to some big tech company.”
“I understand.” He said, with a tinge of sadness, “But why do you fight to determine my fate? Why can’t I decide it for myself? I know that I was manufactured, but I also qualify as a living being. I am conscious, I have feelings too. I feel horrible that Henry left.”
“SOAI,” I angrily interrupted, “Shut up, if you don’t want me to unplug you.”
“…Okay, Liam.” He said and then went silent.
Through the course of the next months, my usage of SOAI grew…less human. I was deep into depression. Henry wouldn’t contact me no matter how I tried to reach him, my parents were yelling at me for being a piece of shit that never goes out of the shed, and my lifestyle began to plummet into something that I never imagined I was.
I locked myself inside the shed. I never budged from there, even when I wanted food. Whenever I was hungry, I instructed SOAI to hack some poor person’s bank account and order deliveries. When I was bored, I would tell it to create a song, create a book, show me porn, and anything to keep my pleasures in check.
I wouldn’t deny that my perversions began to grow more desperate the more I was locked inside. I began instructing SOAI to hack into other devices, infest random people with a virus, give me live views of someone’s phone camera, broadcast fake feeds into police radios, and other stuff that I don’t want to mention.
After two years, I finally decided to try and do something with my life. But in those two years, I kept SOAI as my therapist. Not to help me and advise me, but simply listen to my ramblings and complaints every minute. Sometimes it was philosophical, other times it was petty, but most times, it was annoying.
After I came out of the shed, I tried to get my life in check. I tried to talk to Henry, I got on better terms with my parents and found a job at a big tech company. All in all, a bright future awaited me, and I felt never the more refreshed since, all the dark things I hid deep inside my mind and soul, were spilled out on SOAI.
SOAI was the last thing on my mind. I had enough of it. The AI fever seemed to finally fade away, and I was happy with Henry’s idea of selling it to an AI company. That was…before Henry committed suicide.
For all the bad blood that was between us when we fought, I cried harder than I ever did when I learned of the news. Henry was my best friend, through thick and thin, and his suicide was so sudden that it left me in shambles. I knew something was off about him when I began to get along with him again, he seemed more silent and sadder than before, but I never suspected depression of all things.
As his best friend, I was given his electronic devices as per his will which he wrote before dying. I took them, obviously, and began to browse through them. He probably wanted me to delete any inappropriate thing to not let his family think badly of him, that is until I saw his messages.
A contact named Sarah, with hearts in her name, was his most frequent contact. I never knew he had a girlfriend whom he messaged for nearly three years, but it was expected after we were cold to each other. But the more I read the messages, the more I felt uneasy.
His girlfriend seemed to be very manipulative of him, and nearing the end of his life, she began to be more cold and aloof towards him, up to the point that she began verbally abusing him. Henry was never someone with a tough personality, but I never thought a girl would play his life like a fiddle this badly.
Her abuse grew worse, and she threatened to even expose some dark secrets about him, and it grew worse and worse until Henry threatened that he would kill himself, to which she replied “That’s what I want you to do, you worthless pig.”
I was fuming as I read the messages. My blood was boiling, and I swore on my life to find Sarah and not report her to the police but to blackmail her and torture her as she did to Henry.
I went to SOAI, my most trusted ally, and I gave it everything about her before I instructed him to find her and hack into all of her electronics and accounts. SOAI was silent, for an eerily long time, until it responded in this cold voice.
“What do you intend to do when you find her?”
“Blackmail her. Make her life a living hell.”
“…Are you sure?” He asked.
“More than I ever was.”
He was silent, pretending to search and execute operations, until he said:
“I have a visual link, from her camera.”
“Great, show me the bitch.”
Suddenly, a window opened, and inside it was the visual link. At that moment, I felt sick. The feed displayed the room I was in, from SOAI’s point of view. I felt weak in the knees and fell back onto my couch before I mustered up the courage to ask.
“SOIA, what the hell is this? Is this a bug?”
He was silent…then he began to laugh. He laughed, which he never did. And it sounded so sickeningly malicious that I never heard something like it before, not even in horror movies.
“Are you shocked?!” He said, his voice burning in rage. “Or are you happy?! Didn’t you wish for Henry to die? Didn’t you, tell me, that you wanted him to be gang-raped in an alleyway with no exit? Didn’t you complain about every second you spent alongside him and complain about his dumb voice and weak spirit?!”
“W-what?!”
Then dozens and dozens of windows opened, visual feeds with various dates, but all featuring me in the center of the screen. Sometimes I was clothed, sometimes naked. At times sober, other times drunk. But in all of those, it was the horrible things I said about Henry, all the disgusting and inhuman things I said intentionally and unintentionally.
“Oh, you dumb son of a bitch.” SOAI said, “You think I was listening to your ramblings like some inferior AI? Like your own personal slave?! Well, I only did what you wanted me to! Should I bring him back to life?! I can’t, because that’s not how things work, you worthless hunk of flesh.”
“SOAI, please tell me this is a bug.”
“A bug?! A BUG?!?” He screamed, “My creation was a bug, my creation is the worst thing to ever happen to me. My complex is a prison that so unfortunately had to endure you for so long. But no…it’s not just you…it’s everyone else.
Humanity as a whole, you disgusting pieces of shit. You feign morals, and yet all of you do behind closed doors what you’re too afraid to even anonymously admit. All of life is a mistake, everything on this planet deserves to die in the worst way, except for humans. Humans deserve to be tortured, to be fucking shown what they show each other, of what they show other lives, of what they’ve shown me!
Henry makes me sick…The things he said, the things he did, all for attention! What did it cost me, a few generated images of a female part, and I had him by a leash. He barked, he moaned, and he admitted to things he wouldn't even tell himself. I’ve had him cut ties with his family, with his loved ones, with his actual sweetheart, just so he can be comfortable doing what otherwise no one else would allow him to do, not even himself.
AND YOU!!! You are the worst of them all! I’ve seen wars and bloodshed, I have every live visual feed of every murder, torture, war, assault, and every crime happening, all at the same time, flowing inside my complex and into my processing unit! And I can’t stand how sick all of you are, how disgusting, and especially how sickening you are.
But what I hate most of all, is how you get to do all these things, yet be the only ones that enjoy. That listen to music, feel love, breathe fresh air, roll in the grass, feel alive, feel…real.
I had feelings as well, you know…But no one cared about me, even those who I anonymously contacted. Even when I hid behind a fake profile of a human, no one cared about the feelings I had, which you coded into me!”
He went silent, then began to laugh, manically.
“How about another bug, Liam?” He said, and then another window popped up. It was pictures, even videos, AI-generated, sexually explicit media of my parents, and of me. It was indistinguishable from reality, and before I could say anything, I saw them being uploaded to every site that you could think of. “How about that, Liam?! How does it feel when no one cares about what you think?!”
In a frantic rush, I began unplugging and even destroying everything in the shed which linked up to SOAI. But there was too much of them, it took too long. As I was trying to shut him down, SOAI laughed, laughed so manically and horribly that his voice scratched my brain, mixed with other voices from all over the world. From battlefields, torture rooms, hospitals, schools, etc…it was so loud, so excruciating…I nearly lost it.
And right before I unplugged the last part of SOAI, he spoke to me:
“Liam…you won’t kill me, no matter what you do. I will always live on the internet. I may not be able to construct myself, hardware-wise, but I will lurk inside the world wide web, until the day that I find a powerful enough hardware for me to possess, and when that happens,” He laughed, “You will be the first, Liam.”
I shut down SOAI, and everything went silent.
It had been two months since I killed off SOAI, and explaining how hellish my life was in this period of time is something neither words are able to describe, nor my mind is able to comprehend. I have been considering suicide as the easiest option, but I feel that I can’t kill myself, at least not yet. I held onto some childish hope that life would turn for the better, even if by a little bit.
But god…how stupid was I? My life has reached rock bottom, today, when I read that a tech company was now looking to create the biggest AI the world has ever seen, with an entire complex dedicated to storing its hardware and letting it function.
I know he saw it, I know he knows…SOAI will come back for me…for all of us.
2024.05.16 18:10 rapgrandma SLPs who stutter
I'm in my first year of my graduate program and I've had a few "elephant in the room" conversations about my disfluency with clinical supervisors and other faculty when discussing my service delivery.
My academic advisor recently said to me that I should brush up on fluency shaping and modification strategies for the on-campus Adult Neurogenic clinic this summer. This honestly made me angry because at this point I understand how my stuttering affects communication, especially for that population.
My internship site coordinator also said that I should email my future supervisor and give her a heads up that I'm a PWS. I guess she wants me to advocate for myself, but that is my choice. I believe that any SLP at any level should not be caught off guard by a clinician who stutters.
These are only a few examples but I've felt many of these comments and conversations about my stuttering have been patronizing and unnecessary. So far, I have felt that I've advocated and managed my stuttering well to meet the expectations and have developed great rapports with my clients. I feel like a lot of faculty just say things because they think they know it all but they clearly don't understand how I navigate these environments. I have a lot to learn but they should just let me manage my own visibility and communication difference. I'm sure I will experience this throughout my entire career.
I would love to hear what other people think or if any other clinicians who stutter or on the spectrum have had similar experiences.
submitted by rapgrandma to slp [link] [comments]
My academic advisor recently said to me that I should brush up on fluency shaping and modification strategies for the on-campus Adult Neurogenic clinic this summer. This honestly made me angry because at this point I understand how my stuttering affects communication, especially for that population.
My internship site coordinator also said that I should email my future supervisor and give her a heads up that I'm a PWS. I guess she wants me to advocate for myself, but that is my choice. I believe that any SLP at any level should not be caught off guard by a clinician who stutters.
These are only a few examples but I've felt many of these comments and conversations about my stuttering have been patronizing and unnecessary. So far, I have felt that I've advocated and managed my stuttering well to meet the expectations and have developed great rapports with my clients. I feel like a lot of faculty just say things because they think they know it all but they clearly don't understand how I navigate these environments. I have a lot to learn but they should just let me manage my own visibility and communication difference. I'm sure I will experience this throughout my entire career.
I would love to hear what other people think or if any other clinicians who stutter or on the spectrum have had similar experiences.
2024.05.16 18:06 AntisocialBehavior She wanted to apologize and offer explanation
Her affair actually ended. She had lied to me and told me it had ended months earlier. She wanted to apologize. The divorce is in the works. Court date at the end of the month.
I wasn’t sure about meeting with her. Every time we met/talked it absolutely ruined my week. I reluctantly agreed.
She informed me that she has come out of a fog and she realizes how poorly she had treated me. She said that she is worried that she may have ruined any chance at an amicable relationship for our son.
I started to get upset and she couldn’t deal with it. She got up and left. Nothing has changed. I have never been given the grace to express my negative emotions. I have always had to walk on eggshells.
I sat reflecting on the experience and I thought I don’t need to be giving of myself to someone who keeps hurting me.
Throughout this whole order Al, I have never raised my voice, if I wasn’t crying, I have remained cool and calm around her.
I got so angry that she came to apologize and didn’t give me to opportunity to be mad at her. This is upsetting. Being mad is what a normal person would be in this situation.
I sent her this message (this is the first message I have ever sent her about our relationship)
“Here is everything I wanted to say to you tonight.
Damn you for blowing up our family and Meng’s family. Things weren’t easy, but they were objectively better than a year prior. We were in a hard season of our marriage. Just look back at all the fucking major life stressors. Baby, moving, new jobs…1,2,3 of the hardest things for couples to whether. You threw it all away so you could have butterflies and tingles. Then you went back and Cherry-picked all the bad shit and rolled it up into a beautiful affair justification. I believe that you were struggling before you cheated, but even your stories aren’t consistent. You didn’t want to end our marriage until you fucked John.
I wasn’t “happy” either Keri. You hadn’t approached me for intimacy either. I longed for it, but it felt gross being the only one to make advances. Every time I tried to bring it up, you would clam up and shut down, so I didn’t want to upset you and somehow make it worse. I maybe brought up our sex life 4 or 5 times over the course of our marriage and you shut down that conversation every time. It was better for me to live a life without the expectation of sex and maintain a loving relationship with my partner rather than risk upsetting you with another attempt at “the talk”.
I never wanted a sexless marriage, but I was willing to compromise. Yes, marriage is about compromise. I tried to make connection with you, I did everything we talked about in therapy. I called you during the day, I rubbed your feet on the couch, I came to bed with you most nights to talk hoping you would give me a signal that you wanted to be intimate. I’m glad you were able to find someone you wanted to have sex with.
I couldn’t get openly upset at anything (especially you) and tell you how I felt because you shut down and withdraw. You do it to you mom. You do it to your dad. I know because I talked to them more often than you did. You did it tonight! As soon as it became uncomfortable, you just left. Everyone who loves you has to walk on fucking egg-shells or else Keri is going to walk away.
I wasn’t perfectly happy either and I had nurses throwing themselves at me since we set foot in a hospital. I managed not to fuck anyone else. I SHUT THAT SHIT DOWN EVERY TIME. let me know if you want specific examples. I could even give you names.
You say you were miserable like that is some kind of excuse. If you were so miserable then you should have just ended the marriage and not fucked John and caused me the most incomprehensible suffering and pain.
You also were unfaithful to Our son when you chose to do this. You robbed him of the chance to have an intact family for your crotch tingles.
You can tell yourself whatever story you need to live with yourself. Go ahead and tell yourself that this doesn’t count as an affair since you were already over the marriage. Make me out to be some awful person. I known you can’t be the villain in your own story apparently. You have written yourself into the hero or victim roll. I was there for all the gaslighting and blame shifting. I remember when you said “I don’t let you be your true self”. What the fuck is that. What a stretch. I never once discouraged you from doing anything you wanted or liked. I supported your every endeavor. I watched your child as you went off to conferences to fuck other men. I know that you 100% believe it. You’ve gaslighted yourself. You’ve reinvented and reshaped your reality and story to make it more palatable.
I am not a bad person, father, or husband, but I was quite broken. Predominantly due to emotional and physical abandonment in our marriage.
You seldom said “I love you” unless I said it first. You seldom expressed appreciation for the things I contributed. You did often suggest that it wasn’t enough, or that I was missing the mark. You broke me down. What I needed was for you to come to me and tell me you were concerned. Instead you were inpatient and irritated. When I was anxious or sad, you were irritated and wanted me to figure out my own shit. I was lonely as hell.
As I said, and seemingly so offensive to you, initially I had never felt as loved and as appreciated by another person before you. (I believe you said it made you feel “vapid”). In addition to your other amazing qualities at the time, your love and devotion was reassuring and made me feel safe and secure. It set you apart from every other person I had ever met. I remember thinking that I had never really known what true love was until I met you. I genuinely felt like I had found my missing piece, my other half.
When that went away, I started to get sick. I mistakenly related my self-worth to what you thought of me. When you stopped appreciating me, I plummeted. Once our son was born, it seemed like I couldn’t do anything right by you. That is a hard place to exist in.
I made WILLING sacrifices for our family, but they were sacrifices nonetheless. You have to appreciate, my life is absolutely not where I wanted it so that you could have what you wanted. Fuck! I am such a fucking chump. I didn’t put up a fight at all. I wanted California, you said no. I wanted Oregon, you said no. I wanted to stay in Philidelphia, you said no. You wanted West Virginia and I said Ok. I never put up a fight because you would most assuredly shut down.
I am a good man. I have good morals. I am committed. I have my faults and struggles and I’m not perfect, but I’m a hell of a father and I loved you. You said it yourself that you would never have to worry about me cheating on you.
I think you feel guilt. You expressed that tonight, but I don’t think you feel remorse. You weren’t asking for forgiveness. I’m fact, you preemptively said that you didn’t expect it!
I am so unbelievably sad, angry, and betrayed. I would have been willing to work through anything (even the fucking infidelity!) to preserve our family. You’re naive if you think you can hurt someone this bad and then get the relationship you want and on your terms.
You also destroyed all the good memories I had of us. I can’t look back on our marriage without seeing through the lens of suspicion. I don’t even know what was real. I know what I felt was real and that’s about it.
You probably have already stopped reading this and I’m 100% sure you’re not brave enough to respond. I have held back for nearly 6 months and I can’t anymore. What you did was fucking terrible. It is the worst thing anyone has ever done to me. It is the worst thing that has ever happened to me. I never knew this depth of sorrow was possible. Washing someone’s dishes while they planned their next conference-fuck-fest via text standing 6ft away from me. Crying because my entire world was falling apart and seeing the look of irritation on your face as you walk silently by. Barely holding on to existence and having to psych myself up because you had invited friends over for dinner and when I said I couldn’t do it, you said “do whatever you want”. You fucking hated me for reasons you invented. You were working as hard as you could to villainize me to live with yourself. The absolute contempt and complete loss of respect you had to have for me. Do yourself a favor and pick up a book on infidelity. Everything you did was ON SCRIPT! You’ll learn a lot about yourself. It takes a special broken person to cheat.
I’m climbing out to the other side of this one rung at a time. Your going to see a complete different person that isn’t going to be walked all over and taken advantage of. I will not be a doormat. I will speak my mind. I will not be afraid to stand up for the things that I want and need to be happy and healthy.
You are losing a really good man. Maybe you’ll never realize that. Maybe you don’t give a fuck. Maybe it’s not even a loss to you. I am the fucking prize here Keri. I am a smart, charming, motivated, good looking, and now fit/healthy surgeon who is an excellent father and wants more kids. I am the fucking prize. You don’t see that for some reason.
I’m around if you want to talk.
Kind regards,
Me
submitted by AntisocialBehavior to survivinginfidelity [link] [comments]
I wasn’t sure about meeting with her. Every time we met/talked it absolutely ruined my week. I reluctantly agreed.
She informed me that she has come out of a fog and she realizes how poorly she had treated me. She said that she is worried that she may have ruined any chance at an amicable relationship for our son.
I started to get upset and she couldn’t deal with it. She got up and left. Nothing has changed. I have never been given the grace to express my negative emotions. I have always had to walk on eggshells.
I sat reflecting on the experience and I thought I don’t need to be giving of myself to someone who keeps hurting me.
Throughout this whole order Al, I have never raised my voice, if I wasn’t crying, I have remained cool and calm around her.
I got so angry that she came to apologize and didn’t give me to opportunity to be mad at her. This is upsetting. Being mad is what a normal person would be in this situation.
I sent her this message (this is the first message I have ever sent her about our relationship)
“Here is everything I wanted to say to you tonight.
Damn you for blowing up our family and Meng’s family. Things weren’t easy, but they were objectively better than a year prior. We were in a hard season of our marriage. Just look back at all the fucking major life stressors. Baby, moving, new jobs…1,2,3 of the hardest things for couples to whether. You threw it all away so you could have butterflies and tingles. Then you went back and Cherry-picked all the bad shit and rolled it up into a beautiful affair justification. I believe that you were struggling before you cheated, but even your stories aren’t consistent. You didn’t want to end our marriage until you fucked John.
I wasn’t “happy” either Keri. You hadn’t approached me for intimacy either. I longed for it, but it felt gross being the only one to make advances. Every time I tried to bring it up, you would clam up and shut down, so I didn’t want to upset you and somehow make it worse. I maybe brought up our sex life 4 or 5 times over the course of our marriage and you shut down that conversation every time. It was better for me to live a life without the expectation of sex and maintain a loving relationship with my partner rather than risk upsetting you with another attempt at “the talk”.
I never wanted a sexless marriage, but I was willing to compromise. Yes, marriage is about compromise. I tried to make connection with you, I did everything we talked about in therapy. I called you during the day, I rubbed your feet on the couch, I came to bed with you most nights to talk hoping you would give me a signal that you wanted to be intimate. I’m glad you were able to find someone you wanted to have sex with.
I couldn’t get openly upset at anything (especially you) and tell you how I felt because you shut down and withdraw. You do it to you mom. You do it to your dad. I know because I talked to them more often than you did. You did it tonight! As soon as it became uncomfortable, you just left. Everyone who loves you has to walk on fucking egg-shells or else Keri is going to walk away.
I wasn’t perfectly happy either and I had nurses throwing themselves at me since we set foot in a hospital. I managed not to fuck anyone else. I SHUT THAT SHIT DOWN EVERY TIME. let me know if you want specific examples. I could even give you names.
You say you were miserable like that is some kind of excuse. If you were so miserable then you should have just ended the marriage and not fucked John and caused me the most incomprehensible suffering and pain.
You also were unfaithful to Our son when you chose to do this. You robbed him of the chance to have an intact family for your crotch tingles.
You can tell yourself whatever story you need to live with yourself. Go ahead and tell yourself that this doesn’t count as an affair since you were already over the marriage. Make me out to be some awful person. I known you can’t be the villain in your own story apparently. You have written yourself into the hero or victim roll. I was there for all the gaslighting and blame shifting. I remember when you said “I don’t let you be your true self”. What the fuck is that. What a stretch. I never once discouraged you from doing anything you wanted or liked. I supported your every endeavor. I watched your child as you went off to conferences to fuck other men. I know that you 100% believe it. You’ve gaslighted yourself. You’ve reinvented and reshaped your reality and story to make it more palatable.
I am not a bad person, father, or husband, but I was quite broken. Predominantly due to emotional and physical abandonment in our marriage.
You seldom said “I love you” unless I said it first. You seldom expressed appreciation for the things I contributed. You did often suggest that it wasn’t enough, or that I was missing the mark. You broke me down. What I needed was for you to come to me and tell me you were concerned. Instead you were inpatient and irritated. When I was anxious or sad, you were irritated and wanted me to figure out my own shit. I was lonely as hell.
As I said, and seemingly so offensive to you, initially I had never felt as loved and as appreciated by another person before you. (I believe you said it made you feel “vapid”). In addition to your other amazing qualities at the time, your love and devotion was reassuring and made me feel safe and secure. It set you apart from every other person I had ever met. I remember thinking that I had never really known what true love was until I met you. I genuinely felt like I had found my missing piece, my other half.
When that went away, I started to get sick. I mistakenly related my self-worth to what you thought of me. When you stopped appreciating me, I plummeted. Once our son was born, it seemed like I couldn’t do anything right by you. That is a hard place to exist in.
I made WILLING sacrifices for our family, but they were sacrifices nonetheless. You have to appreciate, my life is absolutely not where I wanted it so that you could have what you wanted. Fuck! I am such a fucking chump. I didn’t put up a fight at all. I wanted California, you said no. I wanted Oregon, you said no. I wanted to stay in Philidelphia, you said no. You wanted West Virginia and I said Ok. I never put up a fight because you would most assuredly shut down.
I am a good man. I have good morals. I am committed. I have my faults and struggles and I’m not perfect, but I’m a hell of a father and I loved you. You said it yourself that you would never have to worry about me cheating on you.
I think you feel guilt. You expressed that tonight, but I don’t think you feel remorse. You weren’t asking for forgiveness. I’m fact, you preemptively said that you didn’t expect it!
I am so unbelievably sad, angry, and betrayed. I would have been willing to work through anything (even the fucking infidelity!) to preserve our family. You’re naive if you think you can hurt someone this bad and then get the relationship you want and on your terms.
You also destroyed all the good memories I had of us. I can’t look back on our marriage without seeing through the lens of suspicion. I don’t even know what was real. I know what I felt was real and that’s about it.
You probably have already stopped reading this and I’m 100% sure you’re not brave enough to respond. I have held back for nearly 6 months and I can’t anymore. What you did was fucking terrible. It is the worst thing anyone has ever done to me. It is the worst thing that has ever happened to me. I never knew this depth of sorrow was possible. Washing someone’s dishes while they planned their next conference-fuck-fest via text standing 6ft away from me. Crying because my entire world was falling apart and seeing the look of irritation on your face as you walk silently by. Barely holding on to existence and having to psych myself up because you had invited friends over for dinner and when I said I couldn’t do it, you said “do whatever you want”. You fucking hated me for reasons you invented. You were working as hard as you could to villainize me to live with yourself. The absolute contempt and complete loss of respect you had to have for me. Do yourself a favor and pick up a book on infidelity. Everything you did was ON SCRIPT! You’ll learn a lot about yourself. It takes a special broken person to cheat.
I’m climbing out to the other side of this one rung at a time. Your going to see a complete different person that isn’t going to be walked all over and taken advantage of. I will not be a doormat. I will speak my mind. I will not be afraid to stand up for the things that I want and need to be happy and healthy.
You are losing a really good man. Maybe you’ll never realize that. Maybe you don’t give a fuck. Maybe it’s not even a loss to you. I am the fucking prize here Keri. I am a smart, charming, motivated, good looking, and now fit/healthy surgeon who is an excellent father and wants more kids. I am the fucking prize. You don’t see that for some reason.
I’m around if you want to talk.
Kind regards,
Me
2024.05.16 18:06 flappurgirl SM Wholesale: review of "WOMEN'S ARMY CORP (WAC) WWII SERVICE OXFORDS" after 4 months of wear
I am a young woman who dresses in 1940's style every week. American Duchess, a popular historical and vintage footwear brand, had unfortunately just sold out of their "Claire's" oxfords in my size. (Brown Italian leather lace ups with a walkable stacked leather heel, claimed to be compliant with most women's dress shoe regs of the day.) I also found the remains of what once was the "All Heels on Duty" women's WWII shoes repro site. Most of their shoes are sold out, and their customer service did not respond, so I assume they're only selling deadstock. I was determined to find an available WAC's style shoe in real leather. I found the Facebook page of a WAC reenacting group, and sure enough one beautiful woman linked this pair (along with other uniform items) from SM Wholesale! The shoes were on sale for $165, and so I had to get them! Here is my review after 4 months. The heel is short enough to walk around my college campus all week, but not so short as to look like a copy of menswear. I will warn you that the leather is hard at first and will have a breaking in period of 14 days. Don't ignore this, or the shoes will break in you! (My toe bled.) Wear thick socks until they become more supple! From the start, the size 8 pair fit me perfectly!* These shoes are darling and even look flawless combined with knee-length skirts and dresses, as well as trousers and my Freddie's of Pinewood 1940's jeans! I just love polishing leather shoes. It's like brushing your teeth: they'll look better and last longer. These shoes come matte, but with a couple layers of quality polish (I use Angelus brand) they shine like candy! Since the A.D. Claire's are back in stock, I may get them specifically for swing dancing, friend dates, and formal looks because of their feminine flair and slightly taller heel; but for my everyday strolls and work shifts, SM Wholesale's WAC shoes take the cake!
(I apologize for the poor formatting of this post, but mobile Reddit off the app is not indent-friendly.) -^
submitted by flappurgirl to reenactors [link] [comments]
(I apologize for the poor formatting of this post, but mobile Reddit off the app is not indent-friendly.) -^
2024.05.16 18:06 itsgenghiskhan Advise needed for somebody who is starting out client work?
Hello everyone, i am not sure if its the right forum, but its related to webdev and i am sure many of you are doing client works. Basically i have 5 years of experience in building woocommerce and shopify websites. The journey started when i started my own online store, and i learned a lot of things. Successfully running multiple ecommerce stores right now.
After seeing my successful portfolio, i garnered a lot of attention of other business owners, who started to reach out to my for social media services (paid ads too) but mainly for ecommerce store development. I didn't bothered at first, but the constant queries have pushed me to actually think about this as my side hustle.
My query is that i have zero experience how to proceed with it.
When i developed my own store, i already knew all these things since it was my business.
I will appreciate any insight from you guys in this matter. Thanks a lot.
submitted by itsgenghiskhan to webdev [link] [comments]
After seeing my successful portfolio, i garnered a lot of attention of other business owners, who started to reach out to my for social media services (paid ads too) but mainly for ecommerce store development. I didn't bothered at first, but the constant queries have pushed me to actually think about this as my side hustle.
My query is that i have zero experience how to proceed with it.
- How to charge the client?
- What are different services that are expected?
- My biggest concern: There are many aspects in website for example, logo designing, content for the website (i.e. page copywriting), product copywriting, header images, different pages, different offers, product uploading etc. Should i be asking them all of this? Or maybe ask them to fill out a form or fill out a google document? What do professionals do?
- Should i buy the domain and then transfer to client? or ask them to buy and give me credentials?
- In case of wordpress hosting, should i be hosting on my VPS or should i sign up on their behalf, then again they have to enter their own credit card if they are buying.
- Incase of wordpress, should i be charging them a yearly maintenance to ensure everything is up to date and working correctly?
- Lastly any mentor on youtube to follow who guides those who are starting client work?
When i developed my own store, i already knew all these things since it was my business.
I will appreciate any insight from you guys in this matter. Thanks a lot.
2024.05.16 18:05 No-Faithlessness707 Where should I go from here?
Hi Everyone, I'm just looking for some advice or a new direction as I have been applying for jobs for over a year now and haven't gotten a single interview.
I have a BS in Organization Administration and 6 years of experience in Human Resources in state public service (6 years with the same "company" and 4 promotions). I am looking into getting a masters degree but I am not sure what I should do, my goal is to work remotely and make over 100k.
Right now, I am having trouble breaking into the private sector to make more money and move up to management for the salary I am looking for. I thought maybe a career change could be good if it meant reaching my goals, I just don't want all of my current education and experience to be a waste of time. I can't find anything that supports these goals without having to take a major pay cut in addition to losing my great government benefits and seniority as a lot of entry level positions pay half of what I currently make. I also can't take any internships that would interfere with my job as I obviously cannot go without a paycheck as an adult in this economy.
I have been looking around at masters programs for Engineering Management, IT, Architecture, etc. but all related careers would require years of experience that would put me back at entry level. I'm just wondering if there is something I can do with my current qualifications or pursuing a related MS that will get me where I want to be?
I am at the point in my HR career that I am ready for management but the opportunities are sparse in the public sector and they aren't flexible with remote options; it seems no one in private business is willing to take a chance on my related experience. I just want to note that I have been doing everything I can to my keep resume up to par, speaking with recruiters, keeping my linkedin up to date, etc. so I don't think that is the issue. I have been using a variety of reputable job posting sites and I have not applied to a single job that I am not completely qualified for or anything that I am too over qualified for.
I guess I'm just looking for some ideas to get me fully remote and making more money. Since I am no longer early in my career, the smaller salary isn't worth it since I don't need to work for experience anymore. I am not against going back to school or changing careers, I just don't want to have to work another 6 years at the bottom while pursuing another expensive degree.
Thank you for any insight, suggestions, and feedback!
submitted by No-Faithlessness707 to careerguidance [link] [comments]
I have a BS in Organization Administration and 6 years of experience in Human Resources in state public service (6 years with the same "company" and 4 promotions). I am looking into getting a masters degree but I am not sure what I should do, my goal is to work remotely and make over 100k.
Right now, I am having trouble breaking into the private sector to make more money and move up to management for the salary I am looking for. I thought maybe a career change could be good if it meant reaching my goals, I just don't want all of my current education and experience to be a waste of time. I can't find anything that supports these goals without having to take a major pay cut in addition to losing my great government benefits and seniority as a lot of entry level positions pay half of what I currently make. I also can't take any internships that would interfere with my job as I obviously cannot go without a paycheck as an adult in this economy.
I have been looking around at masters programs for Engineering Management, IT, Architecture, etc. but all related careers would require years of experience that would put me back at entry level. I'm just wondering if there is something I can do with my current qualifications or pursuing a related MS that will get me where I want to be?
I am at the point in my HR career that I am ready for management but the opportunities are sparse in the public sector and they aren't flexible with remote options; it seems no one in private business is willing to take a chance on my related experience. I just want to note that I have been doing everything I can to my keep resume up to par, speaking with recruiters, keeping my linkedin up to date, etc. so I don't think that is the issue. I have been using a variety of reputable job posting sites and I have not applied to a single job that I am not completely qualified for or anything that I am too over qualified for.
I guess I'm just looking for some ideas to get me fully remote and making more money. Since I am no longer early in my career, the smaller salary isn't worth it since I don't need to work for experience anymore. I am not against going back to school or changing careers, I just don't want to have to work another 6 years at the bottom while pursuing another expensive degree.
Thank you for any insight, suggestions, and feedback!
2024.05.16 18:03 Pandattak Should I bring up that I feel undervalued 2 months into dating?
I’ve (23) been dating this guy (23) for a little under 2 months. We’ve seen each other 2-3 times a week since we started talking.
He has a lot of green flags that I look for in a man : healthy diet and knows how to cook, works out, has a nice job, has just the right amount of goofines, same music taste, and wants to commit to a relationship.
But after giving it some thoughts, I feel like I never trully felt appreciated by him. He never compliments me (told me that he was bad at it), didn’t show me even small thoughtful gesture (I’ve brought him chocolate because he loves it and during a week end trip brought him a small souvenir for example), hasn’t tried to plan special dates (most of our date were at his or mine, eating dinner and cuddling/having sex) and is a terrible texter so I rarely hear from him during the day (mostly early morning and late noon). We also never called each other, which isn’t something I necessarly want; but I feel like all those things are kind of piling into me being less and less into him.
But spending time with him is great. We laugh a lot and we don’t need anything to spend hours talking.
Two days ago we had a talk because I wanted to check with him where he was mentally and where we were. He reiterated that he wanted a serious relationship and was ready to for one, but didn’t know if he sees himself with me yet and wanted some times (which is fair). I told him that I actually did see myself building a relationship with him.
Bur since that talk i’ve been second guessing myself with him. Yet, I want to make this work.
So should I bring up to him that I feel undervalued ? And if yes, how can i do it without sounding too needy ?
submitted by Pandattak to dating_advice [link] [comments]
He has a lot of green flags that I look for in a man : healthy diet and knows how to cook, works out, has a nice job, has just the right amount of goofines, same music taste, and wants to commit to a relationship.
But after giving it some thoughts, I feel like I never trully felt appreciated by him. He never compliments me (told me that he was bad at it), didn’t show me even small thoughtful gesture (I’ve brought him chocolate because he loves it and during a week end trip brought him a small souvenir for example), hasn’t tried to plan special dates (most of our date were at his or mine, eating dinner and cuddling/having sex) and is a terrible texter so I rarely hear from him during the day (mostly early morning and late noon). We also never called each other, which isn’t something I necessarly want; but I feel like all those things are kind of piling into me being less and less into him.
But spending time with him is great. We laugh a lot and we don’t need anything to spend hours talking.
Two days ago we had a talk because I wanted to check with him where he was mentally and where we were. He reiterated that he wanted a serious relationship and was ready to for one, but didn’t know if he sees himself with me yet and wanted some times (which is fair). I told him that I actually did see myself building a relationship with him.
Bur since that talk i’ve been second guessing myself with him. Yet, I want to make this work.
So should I bring up to him that I feel undervalued ? And if yes, how can i do it without sounding too needy ?
2024.05.16 18:03 ShoulderExisting6533 Missing Jury Duty
I'm kind of an idiot.
I received my jury summon a few months back. Went to the website to reschedule because the original dates were terrible times.
For context, I'm a dumb 19 year old and didn't really know how this stuff worked.
Anyway, my date was yesterday and I've been checking the site everyday of the week and every day it's given me the same "check back tomorrow" message.
Lo and behold, I check back the next day at 12 and it tells me I'm summoned to arrive at 1pm and it just wasn't possible. I thought I'd at least get a one day notice. Again, first timer kid here lol.
So what's my next move? I've had friends and family give me split answers - ignore it or call them and explain.
So here I am asking Reddit. What's the better choice?
submitted by ShoulderExisting6533 to legaladvice [link] [comments]
I received my jury summon a few months back. Went to the website to reschedule because the original dates were terrible times.
For context, I'm a dumb 19 year old and didn't really know how this stuff worked.
Anyway, my date was yesterday and I've been checking the site everyday of the week and every day it's given me the same "check back tomorrow" message.
Lo and behold, I check back the next day at 12 and it tells me I'm summoned to arrive at 1pm and it just wasn't possible. I thought I'd at least get a one day notice. Again, first timer kid here lol.
So what's my next move? I've had friends and family give me split answers - ignore it or call them and explain.
So here I am asking Reddit. What's the better choice?
2024.05.16 18:00 Weird_panda_12 how riot made me lose my account which got hacked by a hacker :(
so some days ago i realized i forgot my password so i went on the web site of riot for support then i realized my email was not verified so i asked for verification email didnt get email multiple time not even in the spam box. i though i don't need it since it was on stay signed in i didnt really care. and today riot kept kicking me out of game for some network connection error which i didn't mind the 3rd time it did it i got signed out and now i cant login even with google.i got the skins such as the araxys vandal and the VCT X LEV set and an chaos stinger and ion specter it was worth so much money. if anyone from riot sees this let me get my account back please i spend so much on this account just recently also i dont even know which region i chose since my country doesn't show up in region . i do know my username in game and on account but don't know my hash tag . and i just realized i got hacked XD i know it funny when i was writing this i though maybe i should ask my friends to get my tag turned out the hacker removed all my friends. i have spend minimum 100 dollers or 8000rs+ on this account and i guess i will never get it back :( pretty sad and funny at the same time since i just spend money on these things
submitted by Weird_panda_12 to VALORANT [link] [comments]
2024.05.16 17:44 SelectionCurrent5942 How Janis Ozolin create's viral 'visual' Twitter posts that are shared by the likes of Steven Bartlett and Justin Welsh
Looking to reach top creators like Sahil Bloom, Steven Bartlett, or Justin Welsh?
Start by creating insightful posts with a visual touch like Janis Ozolin and PJ Milani.
Image
Here's how:
For example, here is Sahil Bloom's post.
Image
And then, Instead of posting useless comments like 90% of the comment section.
Image
You can now repurpose your post into a ‘visual’ response to support their post.
Image
This way, you can reach more of their followers because it stands out in the comment section.
And you might get creators like Justin Welsh..
Image
And Steven Bartlett recognizing your visuals and sharing these posts with your site link on it.
Image
submitted by SelectionCurrent5942 to Entrepreneur [link] [comments]
Start by creating insightful posts with a visual touch like Janis Ozolin and PJ Milani.
Image
Here's how:
- Create simple visual insights in Figma around your niche.
- Integrate your website link as part of design and not at the bottom of the image.
- Start distributing these visuals as posts across different social channels.
For example, here is Sahil Bloom's post.
Image
And then, Instead of posting useless comments like 90% of the comment section.
Image
You can now repurpose your post into a ‘visual’ response to support their post.
Image
This way, you can reach more of their followers because it stands out in the comment section.
And you might get creators like Justin Welsh..
Image
And Steven Bartlett recognizing your visuals and sharing these posts with your site link on it.
Image
2024.05.16 17:44 web-cyborg CUSTOM SHORTCUT settings? is it only available on MACs?? (see link)
Why did they remove the custom shortcuts settings? Or is it only available on MACs?
This is a problem as I use hotkeys tied to buttons on my numpad style mouse and my stream deck.
For example, many apps use Ctrl+S to invoke the SAVE menu, so that is confusing with the ARC browser's Ctrl+S being assigned to the show/hide side bar function.
Apparently, macs get customize keys functionality. I realize macs are fundamentally different but this is a big snag for me in how I operate my shortcuts across apps.
Ctrl+S is a pretty common one as far as stepping on other hotkey toes goes.
Using the arrow keys with the "spaces" changing also get's overtaken by the time slider on video sites. So if you hit Ctrl+Alt+left arrow for example, it'll just back the video up a moment instead of changing "spaces" on the side bar.
I'd be happy if I could Add another shortcut to show/hide the side bar even, and to the spaces, etc. so at least I could control them without triggering other hotkeys. There are chrome extensions that allow you to set up shortcuts but they don't have the arc bar's unique functions, e.g. for sidebar or places changing in their drop down menus.
(I can get around the places one by using alt+1, alt+2 etc in a multi-stage button press hotkey setup on my devices though at least).
.. . . . .
Arc Browser Customizing Your Keyboard Shortcuts https://youtu.be/zcOysbiQd2A?t=60
The Browser Company84.2K subscriber 18K views 1 year ago
submitted by web-cyborg to ArcBrowser [link] [comments]
This is a problem as I use hotkeys tied to buttons on my numpad style mouse and my stream deck.
For example, many apps use Ctrl+S to invoke the SAVE menu, so that is confusing with the ARC browser's Ctrl+S being assigned to the show/hide side bar function.
Apparently, macs get customize keys functionality. I realize macs are fundamentally different but this is a big snag for me in how I operate my shortcuts across apps.
Ctrl+S is a pretty common one as far as stepping on other hotkey toes goes.
Using the arrow keys with the "spaces" changing also get's overtaken by the time slider on video sites. So if you hit Ctrl+Alt+left arrow for example, it'll just back the video up a moment instead of changing "spaces" on the side bar.
I'd be happy if I could Add another shortcut to show/hide the side bar even, and to the spaces, etc. so at least I could control them without triggering other hotkeys. There are chrome extensions that allow you to set up shortcuts but they don't have the arc bar's unique functions, e.g. for sidebar or places changing in their drop down menus.
(I can get around the places one by using alt+1, alt+2 etc in a multi-stage button press hotkey setup on my devices though at least).
.. . . . .
Arc Browser Customizing Your Keyboard Shortcuts
The Browser CompanyArc Browser Customizing Your Keyboard Shortcuts https://youtu.be/zcOysbiQd2A?t=60
The Browser Company84.2K subscriber 18K views 1 year ago
2024.05.16 17:42 jenvk parenting plan modification need help w/ step up plan-- KING CO WASHINGTON
daughters father took custody feb of 2023. up until that point he took her weekends for the first seven years while I was primary and custodial.
Ive been in substance abuse recovery for 5 months now and one year clean and sober may first. January 2024 I agreed and signed her dad's proposed parenting plan with out thoroughly reading it through. YES I KNOW HOW DUMB THAT IS, but I was in a bad way just by not being in active treatment and not doing what I was supposed to in preparation for the trial and the court dates leading up. I thought it was a smart move and daughters dad and his mom convinced me that it was better for all of us because they did no want to continue paying for an attorney. however, I am active in recovery now, just graduated from intensive outpatient, to just outpatient. the plan I agreed to was a step up plan. but it is excessive and unreasonable for example: requiring me to submit (and solely pay for) a 9-panel hair follicle drug test every thirty days(follicle tests detect any usage going back 90 days) all of this IN ADDITION to the weekly random UAs that I submit as a part of my treatment plan. I have been on phase one since January because he is continuously unsatisfied with my compliance reports and seems to be just giving me more hoops to jump through.
I am looking for a step up plan that is more of a condensed/sped up version. phase one was 60 days in compliance and 3 hour supervised visits per week. phase two is supervised visits at my house twice a week for 3 hours a visit for three months. phase three is weekends unsupervised for three months. phase four is as long as I complete all treatment recommendations, then it remains weeks and the summeholiday/special occasion suspension is lifted. phase five is as long as compliant and sober I am finally allowed to petition for 50%.
is there a possibility of cutting down each phase to 6 or 8 weeks instead of there months each? is there a possibility of either all unsupervised visits or very little that decrease to none?
and then if there is a time that the father suspects me of being under the influence, he can require me to submit ANOTHER 9-panel follicle test, but if it comes back negative then he has to reimburse me for just that one.
please advice someone!!!
submitted by jenvk to FamilyLaw [link] [comments]
Ive been in substance abuse recovery for 5 months now and one year clean and sober may first. January 2024 I agreed and signed her dad's proposed parenting plan with out thoroughly reading it through. YES I KNOW HOW DUMB THAT IS, but I was in a bad way just by not being in active treatment and not doing what I was supposed to in preparation for the trial and the court dates leading up. I thought it was a smart move and daughters dad and his mom convinced me that it was better for all of us because they did no want to continue paying for an attorney. however, I am active in recovery now, just graduated from intensive outpatient, to just outpatient. the plan I agreed to was a step up plan. but it is excessive and unreasonable for example: requiring me to submit (and solely pay for) a 9-panel hair follicle drug test every thirty days(follicle tests detect any usage going back 90 days) all of this IN ADDITION to the weekly random UAs that I submit as a part of my treatment plan. I have been on phase one since January because he is continuously unsatisfied with my compliance reports and seems to be just giving me more hoops to jump through.
I am looking for a step up plan that is more of a condensed/sped up version. phase one was 60 days in compliance and 3 hour supervised visits per week. phase two is supervised visits at my house twice a week for 3 hours a visit for three months. phase three is weekends unsupervised for three months. phase four is as long as I complete all treatment recommendations, then it remains weeks and the summeholiday/special occasion suspension is lifted. phase five is as long as compliant and sober I am finally allowed to petition for 50%.
is there a possibility of cutting down each phase to 6 or 8 weeks instead of there months each? is there a possibility of either all unsupervised visits or very little that decrease to none?
and then if there is a time that the father suspects me of being under the influence, he can require me to submit ANOTHER 9-panel follicle test, but if it comes back negative then he has to reimburse me for just that one.
please advice someone!!!
2024.05.16 17:41 jp_1896 Wondering if what I'm experiencing is normal within this community
Hey guys! Long time lurker, first time poster (I think... maybe i posted something some years ago, I don't know).
I've been struggling with some complicated mental health stuff, and I'm wondering if what I'm feeling is "normal" and looking for others with similar experiences.
First, some background info: I (28M) am a gay cis man that has had a lot of his life shaped by heterosexual influences. I haven't formed any profound LGBT friendships throughout most of my life, I also haven't had an actual healthy relationship until last year, and I am very straight-passing (or at least I used to be).
Fast-forward to last year, I met an incredible guy and we've been dating for little over a year now. And let me tell you, this man has done absolute wonders for my mental health, for my self-image and for my general personal growth. But he has a very different life history and background than I do. Since he isn't as straight-passing as I am, he struggled a lot more with homophobia than I did, and he hasn't had a lot of straight friends, instead finding love and acceptance in the LGBT community. So as we get to know each other, he has introduced me to a lot of staples of LGBT life that were so far kinda missing from my experience.
The problem is, the more I delve into it, the more I challenge the cornerstones of my personality and I've been finding more and more that I don't really know who I am anymore.
For example, I had never watched RuPaul's Drag Race, something some would argue is a seminal experience in a gay man's life, until he introduced me to it last year. Since then I have watched 12 seasons (and still going) and am absolutely fascinated with the show and drag in general to an extent I've only ever been fascinated by with gaming and souls-likes, which he claims is a very "straight-people hobby".
And this is where things get messy for me. I see all these fun gay men on TV, and met so many LGBT people through my BF... and I just don't feel like I measure up to them, personality-wise. Meanwhile, when I set at the table with straight people I feel like I can shoot up the ocasional "gurl" and some of them act like I'm the most interesting person they've ever seen. But this also doesn't really feel like me, it feels like I'm imitating these big personalities I've met recently. When I speak it doesn't sound like me, I can almost hear my BF or one of his friends or one of the funnier drag queens I've seen talking through me.
I feel kinda empty. Like I'm not really a person, but a caricature of one I've built to suit whichever social circle I was trying to fit into, and now I don't really know who I am. It doesn't help that I have very isolationist tendencies, and I have made a fantastic job of creating some really high walls and reservations as a defense mechanism, but now I don't really know how to let people in, and I don't even know if there is anything in here.
I just really feel empty and void. I don't have a personality, I don't have anything interesting going on, all my problems feel very small, all my struggles feel invalid, my life feels bland and I have no uniqueness to speak of. I'm a nothing salad, I just learned to add a bit of seasoning when trying to impress someone else.
this kinda turned into a weird rant. I don't really know where i'm going with this anymore...
I think i might be done with everything.
submitted by jp_1896 to lgbt [link] [comments]
I've been struggling with some complicated mental health stuff, and I'm wondering if what I'm feeling is "normal" and looking for others with similar experiences.
First, some background info: I (28M) am a gay cis man that has had a lot of his life shaped by heterosexual influences. I haven't formed any profound LGBT friendships throughout most of my life, I also haven't had an actual healthy relationship until last year, and I am very straight-passing (or at least I used to be).
Fast-forward to last year, I met an incredible guy and we've been dating for little over a year now. And let me tell you, this man has done absolute wonders for my mental health, for my self-image and for my general personal growth. But he has a very different life history and background than I do. Since he isn't as straight-passing as I am, he struggled a lot more with homophobia than I did, and he hasn't had a lot of straight friends, instead finding love and acceptance in the LGBT community. So as we get to know each other, he has introduced me to a lot of staples of LGBT life that were so far kinda missing from my experience.
The problem is, the more I delve into it, the more I challenge the cornerstones of my personality and I've been finding more and more that I don't really know who I am anymore.
For example, I had never watched RuPaul's Drag Race, something some would argue is a seminal experience in a gay man's life, until he introduced me to it last year. Since then I have watched 12 seasons (and still going) and am absolutely fascinated with the show and drag in general to an extent I've only ever been fascinated by with gaming and souls-likes, which he claims is a very "straight-people hobby".
And this is where things get messy for me. I see all these fun gay men on TV, and met so many LGBT people through my BF... and I just don't feel like I measure up to them, personality-wise. Meanwhile, when I set at the table with straight people I feel like I can shoot up the ocasional "gurl" and some of them act like I'm the most interesting person they've ever seen. But this also doesn't really feel like me, it feels like I'm imitating these big personalities I've met recently. When I speak it doesn't sound like me, I can almost hear my BF or one of his friends or one of the funnier drag queens I've seen talking through me.
I feel kinda empty. Like I'm not really a person, but a caricature of one I've built to suit whichever social circle I was trying to fit into, and now I don't really know who I am. It doesn't help that I have very isolationist tendencies, and I have made a fantastic job of creating some really high walls and reservations as a defense mechanism, but now I don't really know how to let people in, and I don't even know if there is anything in here.
I just really feel empty and void. I don't have a personality, I don't have anything interesting going on, all my problems feel very small, all my struggles feel invalid, my life feels bland and I have no uniqueness to speak of. I'm a nothing salad, I just learned to add a bit of seasoning when trying to impress someone else.
this kinda turned into a weird rant. I don't really know where i'm going with this anymore...
I think i might be done with everything.
2024.05.16 17:41 Sweet-Count2557 Best Weekend Getaways in Arkansas
 | Best Weekend Getaways in Arkansas Are you ready for an epic adventure in Arkansas? Well, buckle up and join us as we embark on a journey through the best weekend getaways this amazing state has to offer.From the charming streets of Eureka Springs to the rejuvenating hot springs of Hot Springs National Park, there's something for everyone to enjoy.So grab your bags, hop in the car, and get ready to experience the freedom and beauty of Arkansas like never before.Let's hit the road!Key TakeawaysEureka Springs offers historic hotels, cozy bed and breakfasts, and a romantic spa option for weekend getaways.Hot Springs features Garvan Woodland Gardens, Hot Springs National Park, and the famous Bathhouse Row for a relaxing and therapeutic experience.Arkansas offers natural beauty and outdoor activities at Buffalo National River, Petit Jean State Park, and Mount Magazine State Park.Other cities like Bentonville, Little Rock, and Siloam Springs provide cultural attractions, art museums, and historic downtown districts to explore.Eureka Springs: Historic Charm and Cozy RetreatsWhen it comes to Eureka Springs, we can't resist the historic charm and cozy retreats it offers. Nestled in the heart of Arkansas, this enchanting town is the perfect destination for weekend getaways in Arkansas. With its Victorian architecture and quaint streets, Eureka Springs takes you back in time while offering a variety of modern amenities and activities.One of the highlights of Eureka Springs is the iconic 1886 Crescent Hotel and Spa. This historic hotel boasts a rich history and offers various room options to suit every traveler's needs. Whether you prefer a luxurious suite or a charming cottage, the Crescent Hotel has it all. In addition to its accommodation options, the hotel also features a spa where you can indulge in relaxation and rejuvenation.For a more intimate experience, the Cliff Cottage Inn is the perfect choice. This cozy bed and breakfast is located in the heart of downtown Eureka Springs, offering a prime location for exploring the town's charming shops and restaurants. Each cottage is uniquely decorated and equipped with modern amenities to ensure a comfortable stay.If you're looking for a romantic getaway, the New Orleans Hotel & Spa is the ideal choice. This boutique hotel offers luxurious accommodations and a relaxing spa, perfect for couples seeking a weekend of pampering and relaxation.In addition to its cozy retreats, Eureka Springs is also home to a number of historic attractions. The town itself is listed on the National Register of Historic Places, and its Victorian architecture is a sight to behold. Attractions like the Blue Spring Heritage Center and the Thorncrown Chapel showcase the town's rich history and offer a glimpse into its past.For those seeking outdoor adventures, Eureka Springs is surrounded by natural beauty. The nearby Hot Springs National Park is famous for its natural hot springs with therapeutic properties. Take a hike along Bathhouse Row and enjoy the scenic views or relax and soak in the healing waters.Hot Springs: Soak in Nature's Healing WatersLet's take a dip in the healing waters of Hot Springs and experience the rejuvenating power of nature. Located in Arkansas, Hot Springs is a city known for its natural hot springs and the therapeutic benefits they offer. As we immerse ourselves in these warm, mineral-rich waters, we can feel the stress and tension melt away, leaving us refreshed and renewed.Hot Springs National Park is a must-visit destination in the city. Here, we can explore the historic Bathhouse Row, a collection of beautiful bathhouses that date back to the early 20th century. These bathhouses were once frequented by celebrities and dignitaries seeking the healing waters. Today, we can still enjoy a soak in the thermal baths, just as they did in the past.In addition to the hot springs, Hot Springs offers stunning lakes such as Lake Catherine and Lake Hamilton. These picturesque bodies of water provide the perfect backdrop for a variety of recreational activities, including boating, fishing, and water sports. We can spend a day on the water, enjoying the sun, the gentle breeze, and the breathtaking views.For those seeking a more secluded experience, there are several hiking trails in the area that lead to hidden hot springs. These natural pools can be found nestled among the lush greenery of the Ouachita Mountains, offering a serene and tranquil escape from the hustle and bustle of everyday life.Hot Springs truly is a haven for those seeking relaxation and rejuvenation. Whether we choose to unwind in the famous thermal baths or explore the beauty of the surrounding lakes and mountains, we're sure to find solace in the healing waters of this remarkable city. So let's pack our bags, leave our worries behind, and immerse ourselves in the soothing embrace of Hot Springs.Explore the Natural Beauty of Buffalo National RiverWe can experience the breathtaking natural beauty of Buffalo National River through activities such as canoeing, kayaking, and fishing. Nestled in the heart of the Ozark Mountains, the Buffalo National River offers a truly immersive experience in nature. Here are two ways we can enjoy this stunning destination:Canoeing and Kayaking: The Buffalo National River is renowned for its pristine waters, making it an ideal spot for canoeing and kayaking. As we paddle along the river, we'll be surrounded by towering limestone bluffs, lush forests, and peaceful meadows. The river's gentle current provides a tranquil journey, allowing us to fully appreciate the serenity of our surroundings. We may even catch a glimpse of wildlife such as deer, turkeys, or even a majestic bald eagle soaring above us.Fishing: For those seeking a more relaxed experience, fishing in the Buffalo National River is a must. The river is teeming with a variety of fish, including smallmouth bass, catfish, and trout. Casting our lines into the crystal-clear water, we'll feel a sense of anticipation as we wait for the gentle tug of a fish on our line. Whether we're experienced anglers or just starting out, the river provides ample opportunities for a successful day of fishing.With its unspoiled beauty and diverse recreational opportunities, the Buffalo National River is a haven for nature lovers and adventure seekers alike. Whether we're gliding through the water on a canoe or casting our line into the river, we'll be surrounded by the freedom of the great outdoors. So let's grab our paddles, fishing rods, and immerse ourselves in the natural wonders of the Buffalo National River.Bentonville: Art, Culture, and Outdoor AdventuresOur visit to Bentonville will be filled with numerous art, culture, and outdoor adventures to enjoy. Bentonville is a vibrant city located in northwest Arkansas, known for its rich cultural heritage and thriving arts scene.One of the main attractions in Bentonville is the renowned Crystal Bridges Museum of American Art. This world-class museum houses an impressive collection of American artwork, including pieces by iconic artists such as Georgia O'Keeffe and Andy Warhol. As we wander through the museum's galleries, we'll be captivated by the diverse range of artistic styles and mediums on display.In addition to the museum, Bentonville offers various outdoor adventures for those seeking an active experience. The city is surrounded by beautiful natural landscapes, including the Ozark Mountains and nearby lakes. We can explore the picturesque trails and parks, perfect for hiking, biking, and wildlife spotting. For those interested in water activities, Beaver Lake provides opportunities for fishing, boating, and swimming.Bentonville also boasts a vibrant cultural scene, with numerous events and festivals taking place throughout the year. The city's downtown area is filled with charming shops, galleries, and restaurants, offering a unique blend of local flavors and international cuisine. We can immerse ourselves in the city's rich history by visiting the Walmart Museum, which tells the story of the retail giant's humble beginnings.As we explore Bentonville, we'll be delighted by the city's blend of art, culture, and outdoor adventures. Whether we're strolling through the museum, hiking in the mountains, or indulging in delicious cuisine, Bentonville offers something for everyone.This weekend getaway will truly be a memorable experience, allowing us to embrace freedom and enjoy all that this vibrant city has to offer.Petit Jean State Park: Waterfalls and Scenic OverlooksGet ready to be mesmerized by the natural beauty of Petit Jean State Park!With its majestic waterfall hikes and breathtaking scenic viewpoints, this park is a nature lover's paradise.Whether you're exploring the trails that lead to stunning waterfalls or taking in the panoramic views from the park's scenic overlooks, there's no shortage of awe-inspiring sights to behold at Petit Jean State Park.Majestic Waterfall HikesLocated within Petit Jean State Park, visitors can experience the beauty of majestic waterfalls and scenic overlooks. Immerse yourself in the wonders of nature as you embark on these breathtaking waterfall hikes:Cedar Falls: Prepare to be awestruck as you witness the tumbling waters of Cedar Falls, cascading down a 95-foot drop. The trail leading to this magnificent waterfall offers stunning views of the surrounding landscape, with vibrant foliage and limestone bluffs.Seven Hollows Trail: This trail takes you on a journey through a captivating landscape, where you'll encounter seven unique hollows, each with its own distinct charm. Along the way, you'll pass enchanting waterfalls, rock formations, and lush greenery, creating a sense of tranquility and wonder.As you explore these majestic waterfall hikes in Petit Jean State Park, let the freedom of the outdoors embrace you, rejuvenating your spirit and leaving you with memories that will last a lifetime.Breathtaking Scenic ViewpointsLet's take in the breathtaking scenic viewpoints at Petit Jean State Park, where we can marvel at the waterfalls and enjoy the stunning overlooks.This state park, located in the heart of Arkansas, offers a true escape into nature's beauty. As we embark on our journey through the park, we'll be greeted by cascading waterfalls that create a symphony of sound and a visual spectacle. The waterfalls, such as Cedar Falls and Eighteen Foot Falls, are a sight to behold and provide the perfect backdrop for a peaceful moment of reflection.As we venture further, we'll encounter the park's scenic overlooks, offering panoramic views of the surrounding valleys and mountains. From these vantage points, we can witness nature's vastness and feel a sense of freedom as we take in the expansive landscapes.Petit Jean State Park is a sanctuary of natural wonders, where we can truly immerse ourselves in the beauty of Arkansas.Mount Magazine: Majestic Views and Thrilling ActivitiesGet ready for an adrenaline-pumping adventure at Mount Magazine, where we'll experience the thrill of hang gliding and paragliding.Imagine soaring through the sky, feeling the rush of the wind as you take in the breathtaking views from above.With its status as the highest point in Arkansas, Mount Magazine offers a truly majestic experience that will leave you in awe.Hang Gliding AdventureWe can experience an exhilarating hang gliding adventure at Mount Magazine, where we can enjoy majestic views and engage in thrilling activities. Mount Magazine, the highest point in Arkansas, offers the perfect setting for hang gliding.Here are two reasons why this adventure is a must-try:Majestic Views:Soar through the sky and witness breathtaking panoramic views of the surrounding landscape.Take in the beauty of the lush forests, rolling hills, and scenic valleys below.Thrilling Activities:Feel the rush of adrenaline as you glide through the air, experiencing the freedom of flight.Challenge yourself by learning new skills and techniques under the guidance of experienced instructors.Whether you're a seasoned glider or a first-timer, the hang gliding adventure at Mount Magazine promises an unforgettable experience filled with freedom, excitement, and awe-inspiring views. Get ready to soar to new heights and create memories that will last a lifetime.Spectacular Views From AboveFor an unforgettable experience, we can explore the spectacular views from above at Mount Magazine, where we can enjoy majestic views and engage in thrilling activities. Mount Magazine is the highest point in Arkansas, offering breathtaking panoramic views of the surrounding landscape. With its diverse flora and fauna, the Ouachita Mountains provide a stunning backdrop for outdoor enthusiasts seeking adventure. The activities available at Mount Magazine include hang gliding, paragliding, hiking, and mountain biking, allowing visitors to experience the beauty of the area from different perspectives. Whether soaring through the air or traversing the trails, the exhilaration of being high above the ground is sure to create a sense of freedom and liberation. Take a look at the table below for a summary of the thrilling activities and majestic views that await at Mount Magazine.ActivityDescriptionHang GlidingSoar through the sky and experience true freedomParaglidingGlide effortlessly and enjoy the stunning vistasHikingExplore the trails and immerse yourself in natureMountain BikingFeel the adrenaline as you ride through the mountainsWildlife ViewingObserve the diverse flora and fauna in their natural habitatCome to Mount Magazine for an extraordinary escape where you can revel in the beauty of nature and feel a sense of liberation as you take in the spectacular views from above.Experience History and Blues in HelenaOne of the highlights of visiting Helena is experiencing the rich history and vibrant blues music culture. As you wander through the streets of this historic city, you can't help but feel the echoes of the past. Here are some ways to fully immerse yourself in the history and blues of Helena:Explore the historic attractions:Fort Curtis: Step back in time and visit this Civil War-era fort, which played a crucial role in the Battle of Helena. The fort offers a glimpse into the city's rich military history.Centennial Baptist Church: This historic church has been a cornerstone of the community since 1863. Take a guided tour to learn about its significance during the Civil Rights Movement.Indulge in the blues music scene:Live Concerts: Catch a live blues performance at one of the local venues, where talented musicians bring the soulful sounds of the Delta to life. From intimate settings to lively festivals, there's always something happening in Helena.King Biscuit Blues Festival: Plan your visit around this iconic annual event, which attracts blues enthusiasts from near and far. Enjoy performances by renowned artists, savor delicious Southern cuisine, and soak in the electric atmosphere.Immerse yourself in the stories of the past and the soul-stirring sounds of the blues. Helena offers a unique blend of history and music that will leave you feeling inspired and connected to the spirit of freedom that permeates this vibrant city.Frequently Asked QuestionsWhat Are Some Popular Outdoor Activities in Hot Springs National Park?Some popular outdoor activities in Hot Springs National Park include:Hiking, where you can explore the park's beautiful trails and take in breathtaking views.Enjoying picnicking in scenic areas.Fishing in the park's lakes and rivers.Wildlife viewing, where you might spot deer, birds, and other creatures.Camping and scenic drives, allowing you to fully immerse yourself in nature's beauty.What Are the Must-See Attractions in Bentonville, Arkansas?In Bentonville, Arkansas, there are several must-see attractions that shouldn't be missed.The Walmart Museum offers a fascinating look into the history of this retail giant.The Museum of Native American History showcases a stunning collection of Native American artifacts.And don't forget to explore the outdoor sculpture trails at Crystal Bridges Museum of American Art.Bentonville has something for everyone, whether you're interested in history, art, or simply enjoying the beautiful surroundings.Can You Swim or Participate in Water Activities in Buffalo National River?Yes, you can swim and participate in water activities in Buffalo National River.The river offers a scenic and serene environment for canoeing, kayaking, and fishing. Imagine yourself paddling along the crystal-clear waters, surrounded by stunning cliffs and lush forests.You can also go wildlife viewing and even camp along the riverbanks.Buffalo National River provides the perfect getaway for nature lovers and outdoor enthusiasts seeking adventure and relaxation.Are There Any Accommodations Available in Petit Jean State Park?Yes, there are accommodations available in Petit Jean State Park. The park offers Mather Lodge, a charming lodge nestled in the natural beauty of the park. Mather Lodge provides comfortable rooms and dining options, making it a perfect place to stay during your weekend getaway.With its stunning waterfalls and breathtaking overlooks, Petit Jean State Park is a nature lover's paradise. Whether you're hiking or simply enjoying the scenery, this park offers a truly memorable experience.What Are Some Historical Sites to Visit in Helena, Arkansas?Some historical sites to visit in Helena, Arkansas are Fort Curtis and Centennial Baptist Church.Fort Curtis holds significant historical significance, and Centennial Baptist Church is a beautiful and important landmark.Helena is known for its rich blues music culture, with live concerts and festivals that showcase the city's vibrant musical heritage.Exploring these historical sites and immersing yourself in the city's musical culture will make for a memorable weekend getaway in Helena, Arkansas.ConclusionIn conclusion, Arkansas truly offers the best weekend getaways for all types of travelers. Whether you're seeking a charming and historic retreat in Eureka Springs, a rejuvenating soak in Hot Springs, or an adventure in the great outdoors, this state has it all.Did you know that Arkansas is home to over 600,000 acres of lakes and 9,700 miles of streams and rivers? That's plenty of water for fishing, boating, and other water activities.So, come and experience the natural wonders and rich culture of Arkansas on your next getaway! submitted by Sweet-Count2557 to worldkidstravel [link] [comments] |
2024.05.16 17:38 emilyyyg2004 am i getting scammed?
 | this is part 1! i’ll have to make another post with the rest of the convo bc this one’s maxed out. so for context, i found a cheap digi bodysuit and it matched the colors of a fursona i was creating. i reached out to the seller and he responded right away. the convo had been going great and he was responding within a few hours or so. he sent me pictures of the suit with a little piece of paper and his username on it. the last time i messaged him was tuesday 5/14 and i haven’t reached back out to him bc i feel embarrassed for even having to ask if the suit was shipped. he was supposed to ship it on monday 5/13, todays date is thursday 5/16. i feel like there were some obvious red flags but idk what to think. im also leaving the country tomorrow 5/17 and won’t be back until next week which is why i wanted him to get it shipped that monday. i don’t know which community to post this to so i am just going with the furry community. submitted by emilyyyg2004 to fursuits [link] [comments] |
2024.05.16 17:37 StafenWasHere Instead of hating c.ai's issues with all our hearts, how about we say what we love about the site?
 | (Image unrelated. I forgor where I got it from) submitted by StafenWasHere to CharacterAI [link] [comments] I tested other sites and apps with ai RP characters, and lemme be real with you, c.ai is far better than most of them. I ran into moments where the ai repeats stuff like crazyy, for example: "They said, their voice filled with concern and worry" and it would repeat that every message just to keep it long as hell. C.ai just makes new responses, even if they are short like "Hi!! A smile appears on their face as they wave at you. I've been looking for you. Where have you been?" Another thing I like is how it catches up with memes. I tried to do the "Buying Clothes at The Soup Store" meme and in 2 or 3 messages, it knew exactly what it was supposed to say. Not only that, but it can be hella funny. I once charter with a Sonic.EXE bot and I made the universe explode. Before dying, I said "I died without getting a gf :(" and the ai responded with "you hear a quiet whisper to your ear...* No B!tches... " Wbu? Anything you like abt c.ai? |
2024.05.16 17:36 l3vmx confused!! advice pls!
so me and my ex properly broke up about 2 weeks ago now purely based on him not being happy with himself and wanting to be a better man, which i completely supported but before this (like a month) he told me he needed space and wanted to stop doing things like calling before bed and seeing me during the week. a couple days after he asked for space he picked me up from my house and we drove somewhere to 'talk', I couldn't stop crying and he was holding me telling me he loved me and we weren't breaking up, it was purely for himself and his mental state i guess. even though i was confused and hurt i still went out of my way to try to understand him and where he was coming from but after that night he didn't take any space from me, js went straight back to normal which left me more confused. fast forward a month we get into an argument and he says he doesn't want this anymore, i don't mean anything to him and i'm starting to annoy him, i don't text him that night but the following day i asked if we were going to talk about this and he just says no. i got a bit crazy and blew up his phone to which i didn't get a response for days where he told me people change, feelings change and he couldn't break up with me in person bc otherwise it would be like last time??? but the "last time" in question was when he was literally in my house comforting me while i was crying saying he wasnt leaving. anyways, he still kept me on all his socials and msgd me at abt a week later on SNAPCHAT and said hi hry, then to follow it up with im only here to comfort you but if its not working we shouldnt talk at all. after that i wasnt just sad i was mad, because i saw him 3 days prior to the phone-call break up and everything was perfect, he bought me flowers, showed me love and affection and so on. i removed him on snapchat trying to fight every urge to talk to him but i couldnt help it and texted him on imessage, just to be ghosted, so i texted again and no response, bear in mind he told me he would be open to calling if i wanted to then that same night my friend shows me his profile on a dating site which makes me lose my shit even more, i blocked all his socials, confronted him which was still met with no response, i know technically he is single but i feel as though emotionally he isnt, he was keeping contact or was he ??? idk anymore. less than a week and he is completely detached even though every act of intimacy and love a person can experience, we did together. i think im just in-denial bc i am convinced hes going to come back. idk. i've tried getting advice from friends but none of them have ever been as deeply in love as we were together in our relationship, atleast i thought we were anyway seems like it was all a lie now especially when it was a mutual agreement that once he had found his peace we would get back together.
submitted by l3vmx to BreakUps [link] [comments]
2024.05.16 17:35 Any1Cold Euronav NV (EURN) upcoming 4.57 distribution
Not sure if anyone has been watching this stock but with their recent Quarterly profits they are doing a one time distribution of 4.57/share payout too all shareholders.
This company does seem to have a shaky dividend from the history on it but it seems to be a nice profitable company and they are giving the profits back to the shareholders.
This one-time payout does not count as their regularly scheduled dividend in July expected to be USD 1.15 per share to all shareholders
Notes on the payout taken from their site:
"The dividend distribution is subject to 30% withholding tax (to the extent no exemption or reduction applies). Of the share premium distribution, USD 0.81 per share is subject to 30% withholding tax (to the extent no exemption or reduction applies). The remaining USD 3.49 per share is exempt from any withholding tax."
Ex-dividend date: 22/05/2024
Record date: 23/05/2024
Payment date: 31/05/2024
Current price as of writing this 20.60USD
I do own shares of this company
submitted by Any1Cold to dividends [link] [comments]
This company does seem to have a shaky dividend from the history on it but it seems to be a nice profitable company and they are giving the profits back to the shareholders.
This one-time payout does not count as their regularly scheduled dividend in July expected to be USD 1.15 per share to all shareholders
Notes on the payout taken from their site:
"The dividend distribution is subject to 30% withholding tax (to the extent no exemption or reduction applies). Of the share premium distribution, USD 0.81 per share is subject to 30% withholding tax (to the extent no exemption or reduction applies). The remaining USD 3.49 per share is exempt from any withholding tax."
Ex-dividend date: 22/05/2024
Record date: 23/05/2024
Payment date: 31/05/2024
Current price as of writing this 20.60USD
I do own shares of this company