[I just recently learned of this community after I had shared this in the raisedbynarcissists sub, and I couldn't figure out how to crosspost it so I'm just copy&pasting]
As the title states, (and despite the existential risk to myself - as I am disabled, impoverished, and my survival is reliant on the room I rent in her attic - given her recent threat to have have me thrown out by the police because she could not handle the feelings she had during the argument that she initiated), I have finally drawn a bright red line in the metaphorical sand regarding my nMom's treatment of me. This is the culmination of 8+ years of sustained, one-sided, unreciprocated, and unsuccessful effort on my part to sustain, salvage, repair, or improve our "relationship".
 
Reading through some of the posts on this sub over the past day or so has been very validating, as one thing she's always been extremely committed to is making sure she's the loudest voice in my life telling me how invalid all of my emotions and experiences and realities are.
 
I am very grateful for anyone who takes the time to read this post, and any input, commentary, criticism, insight, commiseration, etc, is welcome and appreciated (especially on the topic of being NC-except-as-a-tenant). Her lifelong response to my needs or inconvenient requests for respect or attempts to hold her accountable for her behaviour (throughout literally hundreds and hundreds of interactions that she has walked away from or hung-up on) has essentially been "tl;dr 🖕". So I'm acutely aware of the length of what I'm written, and I'm very used to her cold (or even mocking) avoidance and dismissal of valid issues by commenting on the length or format of my communications without ever engaging on the merits.
 
Anyways, enough preamble, here's the full letter (all of the square-bracketed disclaimers and AI-summary are part of the letter as delivered to her, to try and counter the acute and selective illiteracy she develops whenever she begins to read something she doesn't like):
 
[Start of Letter]
 
[This document begins with a 382 word AI-generated summary (titled "AI- GENERATED SUMMARY:" below the square-bracketed opening remarks), estimated at 1m23s time required to read. If you are unable or unwilling to make it through even this brief summary, then there is literally nothing else I could possibly do to assist in your comprehension of my positions. The full message following the summary is approximately 2100 words, estimated at approximately 8 minutes to read.]
 
[If you would like assistance in understanding things I've written that you're struggling to interpret or comprehend, you can go to chatgpt.com (no account necessary), or download the ChatGPT app from the Google Play Store on your phone. You can simply interact with the chat in natural language (in other words, type as though you were texting another person) and it will understand what you are saying. If you are struggling to understand how to interact with it effectively, you can simply inform it of that (in any wording you choose) and it will assist you with altering your approach to receive more effective results.]
 
AI-GENERATED SUMMARY:
 
Your son's message is a powerful declaration of his boundaries, grievances, and intentions within your relationship. Here's a breakdown to help you understand:
 
Preface: He advises you to read with an open mind and, if needed, with assistance due to the emotional complexity.
 
Declaration of Disengagement: He firmly states his decision to disengage from any form of interaction or acknowledgment outside of essential landlord-tenant matters.
 
Condemnation of Abuse: He accuses you of perpetuating a cycle of abuse that has deeply impacted his health and stability.
 
Rejection of Coercion: He dismisses the idea that being evicted is a viable solution to the abuse, highlighting the coercive nature of such a choice, and how it leaves him vulnerable to further harm.
 
Criticism of Your Behavior: He unreservedly condemns your actions, particularly your exploitation and manipulation, emphasizing the gravity and effects of your conduct.
 
Challenges to Your Claims: He directly confronts your claims regarding his efforts in the relationship, asserting that he has consistently made extensive attempts to maintain it, despite your accusations to the contrary.
 
Commitment to Compliance: He unequivocally affirms his commitment to compliance with all landlord-related demands, demonstrating his unwavering respect for your authority as the homeowner.
 
Demand for Clarity: He demands clear and unambiguous knowledge of the requisite terms when any changes to living arrangement paradigms are demanded, underscoring his willingness to comply with any directives you may issue.
 
Defense Against Gaslighting: He firmly asserts his unwavering commitment to respecting your property and authority, preemptively refuting any attempts to accuse him otherwise.
 
Insights into Your Behaviour: He offers insights into patterns in your behaviour, linking them to moments of vulnerability or distress in your life.
 
Call for Self-Reflection: He urges you to seek professional help for your narcissism and unresolved childhood traumas.
 
Caution Regarding Gravity: He states that failing to address your responsibilities would be a missed opportunity for both of you to salvage the relationship and resolve underlying issues.
 
Reiteration of Hope: Despite his current stance, he leaves the door open for reconciliation if you undergo necessary personal growth.
 
Closure on Unequal Effort: He firmly states that he can no longer sustain the one-sided effort in the relationship and won't continue to do so.
 
It's evident that he's deeply hurt and demanding acknowledgment, change, and resolution in your relationship.
 
[end of AI-generated summary; my full, non-AI-generated message follows below]
 
[I recommend that you read this in its entirety at a time and capacity level where your literacy and comprehension are at their highest level, and preferably with the interpretational assistance of a knowledgeable and competent support person or technological assistant.]
 
[Presumably, after reading a few sentences or less, your defense mechanisms will be activated and you will eject. However, as with the vast majority of the things I have said to you that have gone unacknowledged, I am completely certain that the contents are cogent and comprehensible, and I believe that with competent support and vulnerable effort you undoubtedly have the raw cognitive capacity necessary for comprehension if you are able to stabilize your emotional reactions and put real effort into the actions necessary for you to understand my words.]
 
I will not talk to you.
I will not look at you.
I will not approach you.
I will not acknowledge you.
 
If you attempt to interact with me on any interpersonal level not related to your role as a landlord, I will reserve the right to express just how fucking despicable it is to treat such a vulnerable person with such utter disregard and abuse for so fucking long.
 
The cycle of abuse you have maintained to destabilize me for your own pathological reasons has caused - and continues to cause - extensive damage to my health, stability, and existence. However, since I know your response to this would likely be some variation of "you're not a victim here [my name], so if I treat you so bad, just leave", I'll preemptively and unequivocally condemn such coercive and abusive tactics, and state again (as I did the other day), that the forced choice between your abuse and life-threatening-homelessness is obviously no choice at all, and leaves me perpetually subject to your coercion and abusive control.
 
Such exploitation by you is absolutely disgusting, and honestly I understand why you run away from yourself at every single instance where you're in danger of having your lifelong house-of-cards ego even slightly threatened. I know if I treated another human being the way you treat me for even a moment, let alone for the literal years you have done so, I would not be able to face myself in the mirror either. You should be fucking ashamed of yourself.
 
You say I "don't want to be your son anymore", as though it has been someone other than me making hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of hours of efforts and attempts in order to try and single-handedly keep our relationship alive, and as though it has been someone other than you who has stonewalled me for years about every single legitimate and valid time I attempted to gain even the slightest foothold as a full human being in the owner-pet relationship you have fought so hard to maintain. You siphon, in fact demand, emotional supply whenever you so choose, and then fucking discard me as soon as it appears that I might do anything that would result in you losing even a fraction of a percent of the 99% to 1% imbalance you believe is an immutable part of our "relationship".
 
I will do my absolute best to be in my room as much as physically possible when you are home, so as to minimize the need to be physically adjacent to you in the course of our respective activities of daily living.
 
I, again, remain unequivocally committed to my position of deference and compliance towards any rules/demands related to my existence, presence, or activities as your tenant.
 
As you refuse to provide any sort of unambiguous guidance or clarification whatsoever regarding your shifting demands affecting my ability to access/perform basic activities of daily living, I will continue to act in good faith with respect to my adherence to all previously-established arrangements and protocols (whether codified or de facto) regarding such activities. To the full extent of my abilities, and to the extent that it is physically possible, I will immediately and unequivocally comply with any alterations, additions, or excisions you choose to impose regarding the nature of our physical coexistence as landlord and tenant, regardless of your disregard or intent for any harm to my stability that will ensue as a result.
 
If you intend to attempt to manipulate or threaten or gaslight me to illegitimately and dishonestly accuse me of failing to comply with your rights and demands as the homeownelandlord, then I can assure you that such efforts will be ineffective and inadvisable. The extensive history of my genuine, documented, and unwavering commitment to absolute respect of your home, property, and landlord-tenant authority is unassailable, and nothing has or will change about the good faith nature of my efforts to simply live peacefully and work on stabilizing my health and continuing to attempt to develop basic protocols that offer me the opportunity to seek the ways and means required to sustainably exist, survive, and seek meaning and fulfilment as a human being.
 
To try and make it a bit more bite-sized (without warranty as to the efficacy of said efforts), since I know when your ego is threatened you conveniently - and dishonestly - become completely unable to read a couple thousand words:
 

• I have never been more disgusted by the actions of anyone or anything more in my entire fucking existence.

 

• I will continue to be an absolute model tenant, despite the harmful effects of your constant abuse, and I will unequivocally comply with any demands you make with your authority as my landlord. I will explicitly and aggressively defend against any attempts to gaslight me, or attempt to dishonestly accuse me of failing to comply with any such demands.

 

• Feel free at anytime in your life to decide that maybe it might be time to face the fact that - though skillful in your delusion - you are the same scared child you were 40 years ago, and if you ever want to truly and meaningfully experience what it's like to be secure with yourself beneath the false veneer of superficial and ego-protecting interactions you surround yourself with at the exclusion of true and honest existential vulnerability, then you need to seek, engage with, and be honest and vulnerable with, professional clinical care for your intractable narcissism and the lifelong effects and deficits associated with same. In other words, to reductively and rhetorically restate what you disgustingly told me the other day as a means of deflecting from the fact that you couldn't go more than two seconds without contradicting yourself, “get your fucking meds adjusted”.

 

• When faced with any sort of challenge to your control or authority, your lifelong fear of abandonment has caused you to push people away before they have the opportunity to leave you, resulting in premature, self-created, and misdirected sabotage of significant relationships at the first sign of disturbance or genuine vulnerability. I know you're terrible at recognizing or interpreting patterns or facts, but think, for example, about when your efforts to remove me from your life and/or house have been at their most intense:

 

• (a) in 2016(ish) when conflicts about my role in helping with the [redacted address][job of cleaning out my grandpa's apartment after Alzheimer's took hold] triggered feelings of grief and fear in you at the decline of your father's health and the inevitability of his then-upcoming death,

 

• (b) in late 2019 through 2020ish, in the leadup to and aftermath of your father's death, where you threatened or demanded my removal from your house during damn-near every single minor conflict about utterly insignificant household disputes. The vulnerability and grief you felt surrounding his death triggered the core-level unresolved sense of abandonment you carry as a result of the lack of parental affection you received because of, inter alia, the level of care required by your [editor's note: dying of CF as a teenager] sister and resultant lack of parental support available to you as a result,

 

• (c) in 2021ish, surrounding your mother's acute medical events and her subsequent death, where your treatment of me followed effectively the same patterns and underlying causes as the item above (sans explicit threats of eviction, opting instead for the more oblique and covert references that have been your MO until the recent regression to explicit threats within the past few days).

 

• (d) in 2024, surrounding the final decline and subsequent death of [dog], where all of the same behaviours described above returned and steadily escalated, culminating in telling me to get the fuck out of your house because I wouldn't stop moving some boxes for 30 minutes, and then telling me that you were going to call the police to have me removed from your house as a result of your inability to force me to stop making accurate statements that damaged your ego and need for unquestioned interpersonal control in your self-appointed role as the sole ruler of the relational hierarchy you fought so hard to maintain.

 

• You need to actively and vulnerably seek and participate in professional clinical treatment for the lifelong effects of the hollow narcissism that has maladaptively protected you from your deepest childhood injuries and vulnerabilities, at the expense of truly genuine connection with, at the very least, your firstborn and only son.

 

• [note that the contents of this bullet point are neither a threat of suicide, nor an indication of any intent whatsoever to harm myself or others. I am including this disclaimer to preemptively remove your ability to selectively manipulate my words in order to further gaslight me]
  If you want me gone from your house, and life (and possibly my own life, given the extreme existential risk posed by homelessness for a vulnerable person with the significant disabilities I am faced with), then you will have to have me physically removed from your house in cold blood, and until the day you (or I, depending on the order) die you will live with that being the last time you ever saw the son that you took for granted and abused for 32 fucking years while he groveled at your feet begging for even scraps of affection or humanity from the person who constantly love-bombed and discarded him at her convenience to serve her own narcissistic desires worth no regard for the whole entire person she was subjugating to the role of, barely, a pet.
  

 

• Be aware that if you choose to remove me from your life as a pathological and assuredly-ineffective avoidance mechanism to try and preemptively shield yourself from the fear of abandonment that is triggered in you as a result of my overwhelmingly valid and necessary actions to demand that you cease your lifelong efforts to subjugate me in your self-created hierarchical position at the top of our unequal relationship, then you will be doing yourself an irreparable disservice by extinguishing whatever sliver of opportunity might remain for you to get the help you need to allow you to finally see me as a real person and begin making real decisions and changes and efforts to participate in efforts to salvage whatever scraps of hope might remain for us to have a relationship before both/either of us die.

 

• Feel free to ignore and/or conceal the tens of thousands of words of documented history in order to share contextless excerpts of this text within your self-serving echo chambers in your efforts to receive false validation of your delusional victimhood. Or, alternatively, feel free to vulnerably share this in its entirety - along with the full corpus of my messaging regarding the severity of the harms caused by your behaviours - with a competent and knowledgeable mental health professional(s) for the purposes of seeking treatment for your underlying pathologies and working towards genuine growth.

 

• In the unlikely (though incomprehensibly-or-perhaps-delusionally-still-hopeful) event that you are still reading, I will conclude by saying that the possibility for any hope of salvaging our relationship lies firmly and solely within your control.

 

• After over 8 years of significant, relentless, documented, often-vilified, and absolutely unreciprocated efforts to single-handedly to put 100% of the effort into a relationship that you reaped the benefits of while remaining unwavering in your abdication of even the slightest of responsibilities, I have run out of ways, means, ideas, and capacity to continue unsuccessfully trying to do both of our parts.

 

• I am not closing the door to the possibility of reconciliation if/once you have undertaken the extensive individual work you need to do if you are ever going to be able and willing to put the necessary effort into repairing our relationship. But neither am I continuing to continue working outside your closed door hoping that one day I might be able to do enough to influence you to treat me like a full, real, EQUAL, human being.

 
I love you, and goodbye for now. I hope to see you on the other side, but I cannot force you to undertake the journey.
 
- [my name]
 
[/End of Letter]
(any edits are fixing formatting/copy&paste errors)

Introduction

Christian religious education is defined as the process where by Christian learning takes place. It often involves “teaching which enables practicing Christians to adopt and deepen their Christian belief, values and dispositions to experience and act in a Christian way. It depends to a greater extent on how this process is adopted and practiced in different churches.

Different practices in Christian education in local churches

At some degree of certainty that all Christian churches have a similar aim’s and practices. The liturgical aspect is of paramount importance in the Trinitarian belief and practices in that it serves as introduction to what Christianity is all about. This is where the process of Cognitive learning takes places it involves the worship service where hymns are sang, lessons extracted from the books of the bible are read, sermon often punctuated with exhortation, admonishment and instruction in righteous living is delivered and prayers are said. It also involves the celebration of the holy Eucharist which Jesus Christ himself, recognized as the head of the church, initiated based on experience acquired in the worship service, it can be seen as Christian religious education is a confessional churchly activity of evangelism, instruction and nurture.
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I assure that “Youth are the most critical of all critics when it comes to religion”. Today, common inhabitants do pray and accept the holiness in church for Christ which they are aware that Christ constitutes the sacred bread and wine, but do not entirely act upon worshipping and fail to confront the thoughts and feelings to masses which would spread dignity of godliness among selves. The moral lies in the fact that this creates lackness to reach spiritual beliefs through worship and liturgy resulting in declination the faith which affects the divine nature approaching positivity.
Christian education is a vital important part in youth development. For Christian education to be explored, generation of today should be brought into contact through various practices. In the early centuries, reformers emphasized and trusted true faith and doctrines, to change and reform behaviour as the only solution for salvation in Christian education. Christian school movements prove a challenge as a messenger to convey god’s given mission and honour god.

Traditional approach

This approach was practiced since many decades and is still continued to be practiced which helps in binding and governing the ethics and morality within the religion and belief. Since beginning described, in leaving our homeland to teach the gospels throughout the world through scriptures, god conveyed his message – by sending his son Jesus for us, the Holy Spirit, the Holy Church, and Baptism for building unity.
Christianity consists of three things – Religious faith, way of life and community of mankind towards salvation are most important. The most vital of all belief preached is that there is only one god. The term Christian does not imply on the fact that a Christian should grow up in a Christian community, but precisely accepts Christian faith and belief, follows and leads the path of life on which Jesus walked on and made mankind accept Christian community through involvement and participation physically and mentally, as a result, traditional approach is how the local churches and preachers go about conducting their services. The apostle’s creed was apparently developed to summarize the Christian doctrine for man who baptised himself.

Theological and Biblical approach

This approach is regarded as an abstract discipline which teaches what bible is written. It is the study of god expressing god’s thought. The movement of bible indicates the doctrines to the kerygma to didache, to theological ethics, to revealed truth, to the way of living in Christian community.
God’s salvation to the world, worshipping the holy spirit, baptizing people in the name of god, preaching gospels as the word of god, share Christ’s own body and blood as bread and wine in holy communion, repenting and confessing god’s forgiveness etc are the concepts of theological and biblical foundation to Christian education. Even though mankind is aware but fail to involve due to the increasing evil and greed.
The service is organized to accept the call of god and to love him and others and which aims to gather people to worship him in return allowing him to take control over the world and through his presence spread peace, righteousness, justice, joy and helps in the growth of the life in an individual through increased faith.

Activities organized and performed in different local churches through to these practices

Some churches develop the initiative of the worshippers by confessing their faith in the words of the apostle creed. Each activity is correlated and composes a range of varied elements. Their current activities reflect the lives of an individual and drive them for a purpose through various numbers of activities to attain a better quality of life.
Due to activities, all age group gain variety of skills through many spiritual centred activities. Church acts as an interpreter between god and the worshippers to support in training the composition of these activities which are far more complex to solve a disturbed youth. They have to thereby standardize their curriculum and activities in regards to implement it. Different denominations organize activities to resolve the aim therefore to meet the need of the youth. Curriculum should be more focused than just on providing knowledge.
Activities are necessarily planned to build youth commitment. I believe it is necessary to reach them, i.e. train them to be strong future leaders. They should be kept one step ahead, for their life is very challenging. I believe that the best way to outreach youths mind is to be a youth like them to understand their psychology as it differs from every individual. The same activities do get affected as the youth is choosy and subtle.

Changing activities for tomorrow

Here the question is voiced that, what substantial change can be brought apart from the current activities to eradicate the above upcoming and dynamic problems in nature with respect to behavioural management or of what medication of healing would work out.
I would comment, the activities in the practices should be expanded and conduct likewise programmes workshops on educating purity before marriage, sex, child abuse, exploitation, rape, adultery, adolescence sex, teenage mothers, drugs addiction, aids, and divorce. Workshops, seminars for sex, abuse, peer mentoring, identifying preventive measures instead of curative measures targeting the social, political and the economical factors would be effective for incorporating the overall issues to bring the insight of the good and evil sides of every consequence, discussion on essential real life skills. Our goal is to create “world changers”, inviting the sacrifiers of evil and giving and sharing healthy priorities to save ourselves and the world, before it becomes a terrible fate and a debt for our own selves.
As the world is in unsafe fists of crime, terrorism, corruption, violence, youth have been diverted to a fast-paced and expects instant opportunities. Perhaps, the approaches of these local activities tend to be helpful and may bring positive results but I still feel that there is something missing, to monitor the youth from within. In an article – Practical: The Role of the Full-Time Youth Pastor in the Local Church, by Graeme Codrington, Denomination: Baptist (All), submitted on, May 18, 1997, states that, “In a world that is so busy, and demands so much of all of its inhabitants, young people need a secure environment, where they can experiment and decide who they want to be. They need significant people to be there to help them through this process. They need role models to follow”.
Above statement eventually satisfies the fact that these folks are craving for friendly support socially and for stimulation. Overall factors which conglomerate are peers, parents, teachers, church members and Christian community. All factors rely on one common feature which constitutes leadership. Ironically, most youth do understand the surrounding factors but the factors themselves become tough unknowingly that they can’t quite control the situation which then becomes too late to recover. The task is questioned commonly as what kind of leader a person should be to prove creditability and capability to influence the youth to pursue the direction towards god? In an article again stated by, Graeme Codrington, Denomination: Baptist (All), – Practical: The Role of the Full-Time Youth Pastor in the Local Church, submitted on, May 18, 1997, “Young people are not just “little adults” (cf. Elkind 1984:18). They are complex individuals who are battling to deal with the awesome transformation of their bodies, minds, and emotions. They are in a time of transition and growth, developing from the birthed bundle of potential to a fully integrated, functional member of society. The church is in a unique position to assist in this process”. Church as a role model fosters spiritual growth in every youth making them responsible to participate in Christian faith; she is a sign for an entrance of the god’s kingdom to the world of salvation, repentance, justice and peace to bring equality. She struggles hard and performs her duties wholly and solemnly reminds parents to structure their offspring’s life in Christian formation.
Church members acting as supporters, preach to establish and to promote a platform and share to encourage several types of civic, cultural, religious educational associations. In an article by Arthur Paul Boer – What must a Pastor know? Reflection on Congregational studies defines on writer James Hopewell’s statement saying beyond the embarrassment. “He has also observed that churches are sometimes chagrined by the change of hypocrisy and lament that they cannot measure upto ideals of Christian community”. Writer James Hopewell referred by Arthur Paul Boer notes that Christian leaders are incharge and build a church thereby rise in hypocrites. I observe practically that, though the world is changing, church strategy is also changing in complementing the growth. It still targets the set mission. Even though, somewhere in the corner hypocrites do exist but church leaders aim to find out what is the outcome in the people from the traditional, theological and biblical practices.
Perhaps according my research, I suggest they experiment bringing out good approaches to youth’s growth. Instead of the current activities followed in churches I would want to suggest the approach can be focused to bring in the outcome irrespective to exploration and innovation of ideas and thoughts for internal and external behaviour of an individual related to the surroundings around him, deepening of commitments to the teaching, provide opportunities to analyse socially and theologically and viewing his life in a theological manner. To build a framework of an activity consist of – to have an experience “like us”, to sense new boundaries by exploring new links to every Christian among themselves and to god across social and cultural boundaries.
In addition, exploration and inventive programmes can be executed to judge youth’s spirituality. Daily opportunities resulting in disorientation gets support through mission of god. Integration conceptual activities also can help in building and to capture ‘a born leader’. Church leader serves them as task leaders in the corrosion and freeing the task of a disconnected mind by planning tactics and dividing the burden of other’s through consultation. As the purpose is commitment, to serve the lost, skill based leadership formation training programmes can be organized to develop an effective leader so as to sustain the capability and capacity of the leader to solve the complaints lies in the dimensions of the ability. Workshops on intersections to shape boundaries of an individual and communities through theological and biblical language, symbols, and rituals to attain certain centered objectives.
As growth of globalization is tremendous, these leaders come across and face new opportunities and challenges. I believe they help in building an integral performance in conducting entrepreneurial business-based activities, describing the activities because youth’s mind is business-oriented, therefore the activities are to be structured keeping business in mind involving biblical and theological approaches with the existing resources for a business oriented youth. They tend to produce facilitate management sources to sustain and develop faith and love. When the youth develops a church from within, he will be able to observe and analyse the holistic environment.
The activities require presence of not only church members but also worshippers for youth development in successful implementation of these practices. Some worshippers form in small groups, some large varied to race culture. Arthur Paul Boer also examines simultaneously that when a group of pastors were having service of congregation, one among them exclaimed in deep breath “It showed me I’m not alone”. So often in our churches we berate ourselves for problems we face: not enough men, too few youth, preponderance of a certain race or culture. He is clear with the fact that a single person fails, unity increases strength. We ourselves give birth to a problem and then strive hard to face it because as there are few leaders left to catch a grip to support a large community. Due to less number of youth, less support is achieved to sustain the laws and policies of the church and unable to accomplish god’s mission. It is not only one who contributes but many. Above mentioned statement “It showed me I’m not alone” expresses that each race and culture form their own group; build small churches for their own community within their own boundaries, where god expects togetherness, wholeness. It requires lot of efforts to help small churches grow whereas large church with mass contribution grows as their already exist efforts in large numbers which take over the chained actions for development. Whether single church group or many, big or small, the development is important.
On this contradiction, I would suggest that this also includes that in small group the development is paid more attention and given a close eye, problems are spotted quickly and easily to meet the challenges. No matter how large or small challenges occur, the way we approach it is unique and comprehensive as this brings out effects of development in the youth. Whereas in large it becomes difficult to assist as there are more than one individuals. Due to small groups according to races and culture, differentiation exists. But the important criterion is group commitment and work effort in all sets of practice for congregations in any race or culture for a healthy youth so that to accomplish god’s mission. As a result both objectives are co-related to each other.
To understand the nature of Christian youth it is a very distinguished and a unique phenomenon. Due to the increasing issues of ‘peer pressure’, this has led to the obstruction in the development of youth. There are negative as well as positive aspects of it. Negative aspects influence a weaker mind. It is the most consistent findings revealed in observation. Due to the inquisitive innocence, an innocent becomes a prey of the negative aspect, thereby exploited and develops an evil companionship where he adopts negative qualities and habits. But there is positive aspects as in there are some groups who work towards peer relationship. Here innocent gets an opportunity to identify his fear, weakness and have control over his own power. The peer mentors play the part in organizing programmes to understand the behaviour. They interact with the teens and open lines of communication, build up action plans to change the behaviour by using the discipline skills wherever necessary. As church members play an integrate role, it is a challenge for them to develop the youth and make Christian education reachable to them.
Teachers are responsible preachers. Youth growth depends on a teacher infact they are the true facilitators of our learning, are Baptist figures and true authors of an individual’s life book. They also act as the resource developer and planner setting the curriculum for the healthy growth of an individual, depending how the curriculum is designed with the kind and level of leadership skills to recognize the youth psychology. Parents play a significant role in Christian education. They are the promising leaders which shape up Christianity, infact are the real teachers of Christian education. Parents act as a moral standard and support, therefore can synchronize to their growing youth to be aware from their early hood to gain knowledge in Christian faith and this is done when they themselves too experience a fullness of church.
Misunderstandings and miscommunication between parents and their children are one of the issues which follow breakings in the development of the youth. Due to parent’s own principles, for respect and love of family values often creates harmness to the children’s growth which tempts them to behave against them. Thus youth becomes a totalitarian of his own life by going against the values and ethics and unknowingly gets stucked in the torturous situations. Most Christian youth, fail to act upon the 10 commandments of bible.
I must say, I myself as a youth in my real life experience have observed that the originality of the commandments has changed excessively and replaced with the following:
Thou must worship money
Thou must “lyrically” murder
Thou must have evil possession
Thou must have sex
Thou must enjoy drug addiction
Thou must prosper, worship own self
Thou must not feel guilty
Thou must have no respect for ancestral values
Thou must not serve, sacrifice
Thou must differentiate
Due to the above, youth fails to feel guilty in which guiltness is a part of our conscience creating a false belief system as an obstacle in his maturity and creating structure of his own. Under such circumstances he avoids promoting prayer, sacrifice, grace, redemption, worship and meditation, atonement. Considering money and sex are the only two things reliable to satisfy the needs, creating a limitation and a boundary for establishing personal spiritual growth and development.
In general terms, when the efforts of religious and educational institutions, society lack to perform the planned task for Christian education, a positive approach is expected and constructed to gain knowledge and teaching through parents and teachers. Youth must be aware of guiltiness which is a gift from god to help us in being and doing well.
Still the question is raised in a Journal: Volume 5 Number 4, October 2003 by Author Charlene Tan, “Can Christian teachers and parents teach Christian beliefs without indoctrinating their students and children?”
Yes, they can teach Christian beliefs without indoctrinating their students and children they need to be careful when a child is to be handled as their minds are immature. At times it is difficult to understand them because their way of thinking is varied. Firstly before going to the next process, the first process has to be resolved. As teachers and parents are the role models for the development. In order to develop and understand these three role models should be systematically developed first. Only by abiding this rule, they can achieve the development in child. But the point lies beneath that how teachers and parents can prove themselves as an effective source of development by keeping in mind the relative factor of Child’s mind compatibility and psychology? As there are variations in psychological behavior teachers and parents should be mentally prepared, be changeable and adjustment oriented accordingly.
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The political and current affair of the nation is affected by corruption and evilness rationally which gave birth to vivid factors like jealousy, modesty and so on, making human’s built a tendency to mislead the positive factors. The situations have made the teachers adapt those inequalities within them, affecting the surrounding factors. Parents have too due to their increasing self priority created barriers of understanding among their families.
Many people are often drawn towards the attention of the church because of their felt needs and not for spiritual needs.
For instance, it does occur that why the youth is tuned out of his own way? Even in their interaction with their own members it tends to happen with them that they fail to hear a word said to them – stating “I didn’t hear a word you said?”, even though it is obvious that they have said something relating to us. This proves a kind of negligence in contacting the positive mechanism which grows in the back of our minds. Such system blocks all the wanted and useful messages allowing us to hear and see only what our mind tells us to hear and believe. As this tendency is increased in the youth generation, it is creating gaps between a believer and faith of god.
The question is – How? How can we overcome this problem? Youth have themselves developed a capacity in mind to hear only what pleasures them without taking a decision that whether it is false or truth. My query is – How we can bring these groups of youth closer to god? Unconsciously resulting in unexpected calamities and unknowingly they are unable to repent it wisely. Due to this increasing factor, youth can’t get a grip of effective communication and develop themselves internally. Here the parents then enter the scene to play their role.

The main question lies whether the local churches fulfill and meet to mature disciples in Christian education?

As stated above, ‘youth’ are the most critical of all critics when it comes to religion. In this modern era, youth is distracted to church because they are building castles in air due to the unmaterialistic desire. Youth today have focused their vision to crave success and prosperity for their rising life graph; they exploit their own ones due to greed and selfishness. During the primary phase of struggle and hard work, youth craves to achieve prosperity, at the same time, do thank god and accept his involvement for success, but hand in hand, lack to follow the bibles ethics which says to respect others in and with unity. Due to the competition and growth politically, more often youth seem to push the fellow mates and strive to takeover their place. They themselves are unaware that they give birth to exploitation and inequality. And due to inequality, unity is declined, wherein bible does not specify inequality. In a book source, Pastor – “Rick Warren’ – illustrates in his book – The Purpose-Driven Church -“The issue is church health, not church growth!” declares warren. “if your church is healthy, growth will occur naturally. Healthy consistent growth is the result of balancing the five biblical purposes of the church.”
In addition to this he also declares that “If u concentrate on building people, God will build the church”.
I agree at a certain point with the above statement. I herewith would want to magnify on “How would one build a healthy youth for a healthy church”? In this sense I believe that both are co-related with each other. Again the issue arises in my mind ‘How will the church be healthy if the youth is unhealthy?’ The issue can’t be only concentrated on church. For a church to survive, the basic foundation is the youth and for the youth to be saved and attracted the church has to be healthy. In my knowledge it is a ‘Vicious Circle’.
Local churches upto some extent do specifically fulfill the discipleship through the practices and play a great emphasis in fulfilling and conveying the message of god to us, but still lack to read the minds and bring the youth closer to her, for which she has to upgrade her atmospheric appearance with new packages to reach the youth in a new taste due to the competitive modernism which is hovering on the youth.
The latter part can play the best part coz when first falls in place, everything else falls in place, from the beginning to the end, from all angles in all walks of life. Towards a healthy faith, healthy church can turn and seed a growth of spirituality through which mankind will grow spiritually from within thereby causing church growth.
Author Perry G. Down states in his book – “Teaching for spiritual growth” that ‘how can we best enable Christians to grow towards maturity?’ For this question he suggests three key concepts- ministry, believer, and purpose. But my understanding says that these concepts are incomplete somewhere to create a bond in reaching the results because today’s youth is attracted towards the unrealistic worldly matters, but has resulted in declination towards the god’s spiritual growth. The major role connecting these three concepts is commitment and effort. As the church ministry is the foundation pillar, the main aim is how much measure of commitment is valued and given to achieve the target successfully. Mankind is able to commit only when he chooses the right direction in fear and is able but this is unfortunate as the alien world tend to let us unidentify the type of strategies of growth for maturity. By identifying the type of strategies of growth, we can understand the level of growth required towards maturity at which we can be spiritual. Another reason for in growth is fear. As the youth fears to face unexpected problems, the efforts are less and require the hierarchy’s support.
Author Gary C. Newton stated in his book – “Going towards spiritual maturity” quotes the principle that “God is ultimately responsible for all spiritual growth”. The question arises at this point that if god is responsible for everything, what will be the purpose and role of human? I comment that while god supplies the resources like bible, church, Holy Spirit, baptism, it is also our responsibility to supply effort and commitment to utilize those resources and give results to god. In bible, Paul highlights this principle of his personal lifestyle and in his teachings comparing with the example of a soldier or athlete to illustrate the amount of sincerity and efforts. (1 Corinthians 9:24-27), Paul states that “In a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize”. I herewith conclude in a Christian race all runners (ministry, believers, purpose) will fail to get a prize if there is no effort that is commitment from everyone.
Along with the concept of ministry, believer, purpose; effort is also the key concept and it has to be achieved from the youth as well. A healthy youth will gain efforts only when the growth will favour them from within, when the forces of the ministry believers and youth will collide with each other to form a healthy growth.
This will create a mutual relationship between god’s provisional resources and our active involvement in process which is more clearly in Philippians 2:12-13: “Continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is god who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose”. This principle is intricate but the application is clear.
If one is to grow towards maturity in Christ then one must cultivate and demonstrate the efforts with passion, Philippians 2:17-18: ” But even if I am being poured out like a drink offering on the sacrifice and service coming from your faith, I am glad and rejoice with all of you. So you be glad and rejoice with me”.
Therefore the conclusion lies in the above concept, both; effort of the youth along with the work of ministry, believers proves in the healthiness of the church. In the book “Youth At Risk” by Peter Christian Olsen, 2003, he highlights four basic needs which he has clearly created an awareness of the effects that affects the development of youth:
Acceptance – belonging
New beginnings and second chances – forgiveness
Significance – generosity
Freedom – independence
I agree with his confirmation that he examines in deriving the above developmental needs from the provision of the Almighty’s resources as the absence of these needs do intentionally contribute in how they shape the personality, maturity, responsibility and stability of emotions. He emphasizes Christian community in respond to the needs determining that, the resources will be polishing youth through support during the fear and avoid them from destruction. At times the concepts will be foreign, indigestive for youth because unable to realize its importance. Rather the community need not re-interpret or change the language but simplify their thoughts and improve their visionary and understanding by change in structure through a friendly communication by becoming an effective leader to bridge the gap between the church and the youth. Therefore forces and efforts are needed for decision making which is an effective key in respond to ministry believer and purpose for a possibility of a healthy youth to build a healthy church, which will make the church flourish.

Supporting surveys

According to a survey, some findings proved that church fails to answer every question of the youth.

Q.1 In what way and sense is Christian religion, faith and church viewed by today’s modern youth?

Youth of today’s modern era is firm on the point stating that inspiration is lacked in religion; they feel that the world is divided through religion and is the major factor which is affecting the growth. A 17-year-old Jude from Kent says confidently that “He does not agree with the church who talks on subject morality” and is “Overfilled with traditionality”.
Youth pick their ideas which suit their taste through various religious beliefs. There are few in bunch who strongly believe, there exist only single religion which has controlled the truth. Young generation refer to perform all activities as per their own desire which in return less importance to the religious belief are being given, which gives birth to the side effects of the conduct.

Q.2 Why do young crowd feel that Christianity is not a ‘happening’ cultural activity?

An 18-year-old Marcus said that he left church when he was 15 because the teachings did not amuse him and it did not interest him of anything as a youth.
The major quest, a struggle for a religion is to impose an exertion of force of involvement in terms of attraction. I usually attend church service wherein I find young ones missing the services. I kept questioning myself that, where the young crowd has disappeared? Surprisingly the young ones have taken charge for the attendance of the church. In this consequence the church should give priority to change its curriculum and its way of presenting the services with new attractive packages for enhancement.

Q.3 Are the young preachers practicing different approaches in Christianity declining. What are your suggestions?

As the attendance of the youth in church has declined, but on the other hand people practicing approaches are increasing in numbers. The following is revealed through one of the youths that more the deepening are the studies of the bible, more a person becomes a hypocrite of the Christian leadership and unintentionally accepts and performs the lifestyle of the clergy right or wrong at times unknowingly. In such case, the practices are affected and become different from those which are to be precise. Seen are still some true Christian youngsters who are different in their attitude and conduct, but in spite of such difference, they are not involved into the immorality and violence activities with other youths. They present themselves as they are from a different unknown religion, but practice the religion and it

Introduction

The purpose of this essay is to identify the differences between the Greek and Roman architecture of Antiquity. Although Greek and Roman architecture have various similarities, it is important to identify the differences and the ways the Romans chose to adapt their influences. The five architectural orders were highly favoured in both Greek and Roman architecture.

Greek Architecture

Greek architecture is a very influential and historical movement which is used to inspire many architects today. This movement was based on the post and lintel system which is simply a system made up of columns. Although the concept of columns may seem simple, the Greeks carved the columns into something beautiful – including carvings of mythological creatures. They created some of the most precise and distinctive designs in the history of architecture. The Greeks interest in simplicity and proportion in their buildings went on to influence Roman architects.

Introduction

The purpose of this essay is to identify the differences between the Greek and Roman architecture of Antiquity. Although Greek and Roman architecture have various similarities, it is important to identify the differences and the ways the Romans chose to adapt their influences. The five architectural orders were highly favoured in both Greek and Roman architecture.

Greek Architecture

Greek architecture is a very influential and historical movement which is used to inspire many architects today. This movement was based on the post and lintel system which is simply a system made up of columns. Although the concept of columns may seem simple, the Greeks carved the columns into something beautiful – including carvings of mythological creatures. They created some of the most precise and distinctive designs in the history of architecture. The Greeks interest in simplicity and proportion in their buildings went on to influence Roman architects.
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There are five main architectural orders in classical architecture which are Doric, Ionic, Corinthian, Tuscan and Composite – which were all named by the Romans. Greek architects created the first three and took part in influencing the latter two “which were composites rather than genuine innovations” (Ancient History Encyclopedia, 2009-2014). The differences in these styles were best recognised by the décor that existed at the top of each column.
(Doric, Ionic and Corinthian)

The Doric Order

The Doric Order was the first of the architectural orders to be introduced, the top of the column is plain and undecorated while the column itself is fluted with parallel grooves.
They stood directly on the temple without a base. Prominent features of both Greek and Roman versions of the Doric order are the alternating “triglyphs” and “metopes” (Essley, J). Three vertical grooves make up the triglyphs and imitate the wooden end-beams, which are supported by the architrave that takes up the lower half of the entablature (superstructure of mouldings and bands which lie horizontally above columns). Under each triglyph are peglikedrops that maintain the structure. A triglyph is placed in the centre above every column with another between columns. “The Greeks felt that the corner triglyph should form the corner of the entablature to create a contrast with the supporting column. The spaces between the triglyphs are themetopes” (Princeton, Online).

(Temple of Hephaestus in (Sharon Mollerus)
Athens, Greece, 449-415 BC)

The Ionic Order

The Ionic Order was the second to be invented and can be recognised by its scrolled design at the top of each column – the columns are also fluted and sit on a base. This order is more slender that the Doric but very similar.

(Column of the Erechtheion, Acropolis of Athens, 421-406 BC) (Guillaume Piolle)

The Corinthian Order

The Corinthian Order was the latest order to be produced, the late classical period was where the earliest example was found. It is best recognised for its ornate capital – apart from this factor, it is the same as the previous ionic order. The Corinthian Order was favoured by the Roman architects in a lot of their work.

(The Pantheon in Rome, 126 AD) (Rosengarten. A, 1898)

Roman Architecture

The Greek tradition in architecture was continued on by the Romans, their interest is evident in many of their buildings – especially their use of the Corinthian Order. The Romans were known as “great innovators” because of the way they adopted new techniques and new materials and the way they adapted on existing techniques. The Romans introduced the use of domes and arches to create a new architectural style. They continued to use the Doric, Ionic and Corinthian orders – however adapting the capital of the Corinthian to make it more decorative.
The Tuscan column is very similar to the Doric column but with a smaller design at the top. The Tuscan column was used most “in domestic architecture such as peristyles and verandahs” (Ancient History Encyclopaedia, 2009 – 2014).There became a stage where columns were no longer used for structure, but were purely decorative.

The differences between Greek and Roman Architecture

Greek and Roman architecture is relatively similar, they were inspired by the Greeks existing work and adapted their own styles around it.

Although the Romans were inspired by the Greeks which resulted in many similarities, there are still many differences, such as the materials they chose to use. They both commonly constructed their buildings from marble or limestone – but, the Romans perfected the use of concrete in buildings which allowed them to create more free-flowing structures.
In relation to the styles of columns they used, they were all favoured by both the Greeks and the Romans and made a persistent appearance in most of their buildings. Although, the Greeks did prefer the use of the Doric and Ionic orders, whereas the Romans preferred the more ornate Corinthian order.
The purpose of the Greeks and Romans architecture was also different. Most of the existing Greek architecture was designed as art to honour their gods which resulted in a less ornate interior. Due to the Romans advances in material technology, a greater variety of Roman buildings still exist today. Roman architecture was beautiful internally and externally, mirroring “the pursuit of pleasure, an essential part of Roman culture” (Faller, M)
In relation to more of the construction details, the Greeks work was more equilateral which was known as “post and lintel construction”. The Romans took great credit for grasping the arch and the dome, which are a prominent feature in ancient Roman architecture, but not in Greek architecture.

The Parthenon and the Pantheon

The Parthenon and the Pantheon are both ancient temples – the Parthenon was built in Greece for their god Athena and the Pantheon was constructed in Rome to celebrate the Roman gods. The Parthenon was first to be constructed in 126 AD and the Pantheon was constructed about six centuries later around 447 – 438 BC.
(The Parthenon) (The Pantheon)
Both these temples have many similarities and differences due to the Romans adapting the Greeks processes. The majority of the exterior design of the Pantheon is adapted from traditional, ancient Greek architecture, such as that of the Parthenon. It is said that both of these temples functioned as churches during the middle ages and have both faced rebuilding. The religious links of the Pantheon prevented it from being damaged by loots, but unfortunately many parts of the Parthenon were stolen in the 1700s.
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Of course, the Parthenon was a Doric temple which was supported by Ionic columns. The floor was constructed wholly of marble, where the base was constructed from limestone – typical materials used by the Greeks. “The east pediment narrates the birth of Athena, while the west pediment shows the contest between Athena and Poseidon to become the city’s patron god” (Diffen, Online).
This creates a contrast to the Pantheon, which was a concrete dome supported by the ornate Corinthian columns. They were interested in capturing more beauty with small, distinctive details. Again, typical materials such as marble and concrete were used to construct this temple.

Conclusion

Architectural history is what formed the architecture of today, both Greek and Roman architecture has played a huge influence in numerous modern buildings. The majority of their work is very similar but they still continued to work in numerous different ways in order to make their statement in architecture. Without the Romans – who mastered the use of concrete – may have resulted in a different use of materials in which we use today. Both the Greeks and Romans have created the basis of architecture to form the process we have today.

Bibliography

ANCIENT HISTORY ENCYCLOPEDIA. (2009 – 2014) Greek Architecture. [Online] Available from: http://www.ancient.eu/Greek_Architecture/. [Accessed 12th December 2014].
Doric, Ionic and Corinthian. Photograph, viewed 12th December 2014, <http://i39.tinypic.com/30agqbs.png>
PRINCETON. Doric Order. [Online] Available from: https://www.princeton.edu/~achaney/tmve/wiki100k/docs/Doric_order.html. [Accessed 12th December 2014].
Essley, J. Pediment and tympanum, Metopes and Triglyths. Terms from Greek temples. [Online] Available from: http://www.house-design-coffee.com/metopes.html. [Accessed 12th December 2014].
Temple of Hephaestus in Athens, Greece, 449-415 BC. Photograph, viewed 13th December 2014, <http://arthistoryblogger.blogspot.co.uk/2011/09/doric-ionic-and-corinthian.html>
Sharon Mollerus / public domain, via Wikimedia Commons. Photograph, viewed 13th December 2014, <http://arthistoryblogger.blogspot.co.uk/2011/09/doric-ionic-and-corinthian.html>
Guillaume Piolle/ public domain, via Wikimedia Commons. Photograph, viewed 13th December 2014, <http://arthistoryblogger.blogspot.co.uk/2011/09/doric-ionic-and-corinthian.html>
Column of the Erechtheion, Acropolis of Athens, 421-406 BC. Photograph, viewed 13th December 2014, <http://arthistoryblogger.blogspot.co.uk/2011/09/doric-ionic-and-corinthian.html&agt;
The Pantheon in Rome, 126 AD. Photograph, viewed 13th December, <http://arthistoryblogger.blogspot.co.uk/2011/09/doric-ionic-and-corinthian.html>
Rosengarten. A,A Handbook of Architectural Styles,1898. Photograph, viewed 13th December 2014, <http://arthistoryblogger.blogspot.co.uk/2011/09/doric-ionic-and-corinthian.html>
ANCIENT HISTORY ENCYCLOPEDIA. (2009 – 2014) Roman Architecture. [Online] Available from: http://www.ancient.eu/Roman_Architecture/. [Accessed 14th December 2014].
Faller, M. Differences between Greek and Roman architecture. [Online] Available from: http://www.ehow.com/facts_5507152_differences-between-roman-greek-architecture.html. [Accessed 14th December 2014].
Diffen. Pantheon vs. Parthenon. [Online] Available from: http://www.diffen.com/difference/Pantheon_vs_Parthenon. [Accessed 15th December 2014].Introduction

Gratitude to Namo Sakyamuni Buddha!
Gratitude to the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva!
Gratitude to all Buddhas and Bodhisattvas from ten directions and three periods of time!
Gratitude to the Dharma protectors!
Gratitude to the benefactor and benevolent father Master Jun Hong Lu!
Gratitude to my fellow Dharma practitioners!
In 2021, I experienced 2 menstrual hemorrhages. On September 5, I went to the hospital to get the physical examination report card. The doctor told me my illness was very serious. The report card showed that my platelets were only 13×10^9/L (simplified to 13, as below), while the normal level is 100-300. The doctor told me to call my husband and ask him to take me to the city hospital. My husband didn't believe it. He thought something might be wrong with the test. Thus, I didn't travel to the city hospital that day.
In the restaurant the next day, when I sat down on the chair, I felt dizzy! I hurriedly let my husband take me to the hospital. According to various aspects of the examination, such as bone penetration and chest bone penetration, the condition is aplastic anemia. By then, I really didn't know how severe this illness is. I thought I did not eat things indiscriminately. I should be full of positive energy and not get sick. At the time, I did not know how stupid and ignorant I was. I had many ignorant habits, such as staying up late at night, bursting into anger, sexual misconduct, and abortions. If I didn't study Buddhism, I would never realize how heavy and deep my karmic obstacles are!
I had a gynecological problem for a long time, but I hadn't been to the hospital, and I was afraid to go to the hospital. It's more likely to happen if you are afraid of something happening. I regret not checking the body timely. Two years ago I dreamed of my deceased aunt and 2 children next to her. Pointing to my gynecology, my aunt said cancer. As I did not encounter Buddhism at that time, I did not understand that it was a great calamity. After waking up I felt scared. Then, I thought it was just a dream, and did not pay attention to it.
My karma broke 2 years late, as the dream predicted. I received 8-10 days of hospital treatment. We asked to be discharged because the cost was too high. I went to our county hospital. A doctor with glasses told me to have a bone marrow transplant. My father-in-law and father did not believe my disease was so serious, and neither did I. I was only a bit older than 30 years old, so I could not have such a severe disease. We travelled to a city hospital for treatment. The doctor told me that I would need a bone marrow transplant. That's when I realized this disease's seriousness!
Master Lu enlightened us to pay attention to the premonitory dream. Otherwise, it would be too late to regret. At that time, I had not encountered the Buddha's teachings, so I knew nothing about these principles. A bone marrow transplant was a bolt out of the blue for us! It cost hundreds of thousands of CNY. Our family was poor, so we couldn't afford it! During that time in the hospital, I was so scared that I couldn't eat or sleep. I also had chronic insomnia. One of the two cancer patients sleeping next to me was in pain every day and relied on painkillers to stop the pain, which was really agonizing. The other cancer patient was in her 70s and afraid of death. Without the Buddha's teachings, sentient beings can only follow their destiny. Although they do not want to die they have to die.
The hospital environment makes me not want to stay for a moment. They are all serious illnesses, such as cancer. I fear thinking about it. I requested discharge from the hospital after >10 days of treatment. I requested to take medication at home and follow a conservative approach to my health. So, I was discharged home.
The other morning, while I exercised at home, I suddenly felt weak. Just in time, my father-in-law arrived. I hurriedly asked him to take me to the clinic. I was too weak to move, so he carried me downstairs.
One night, I read a post on the Internet that a person with a blood disease did not undergo a bone marrow transplant. That person was treated in a specialized Chinese and Western medicine hospital and the low platelet level became normal. So, I contacted the doctor right away and registered for an appointment. My husband immediately booked a sleeper ticket to the hospital for the next day. The fear that I might not wake up after sleeping kept me from sleeping that night. After a few days of hospital treatment, platelets still didn't increase. This worries me a lot. What should I do? Until then, I realized that my disease could not be controlled by medication at all.
In the meantime, I was blessed by the Bodhisattva to see an online video of Master Lu reading a totem posted by a Buddhist practitioner. Since then, I have understood that sexual misconduct and abortion create heavy karma. My gratitude goes out to Bodhisattva's mercy for letting me encounter karma. So I promptly used the three Gems of Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door to treat my disease. I made 2 vows: become a vegetarian for life, and release 2,000 fish after discharge from the hospital.
Just after making the vows, my appetite increased greatly. Actually, in the hospital, the happiest thing for me is to eat. Half a month later I returned home from the hospital. The Buddhist practitioner sent me Buddhist materials. I recited Buddhist scriptures daily. Approximately 10 days later, I returned to the hospital to check. My platelets rose from 13 to 27. A month later, my platelets increased from 27 to 50. During my third check, my platelets rose from 50 to 107. Normal platelet levels are 100-300, so my platelet level is back to normal.
I was so happy, and blessed by the Bodhisattva! I had tears in my eyes at that time. Although there were still abnormal indicators, such as anemia, after all, it had only been a few months since I encountered the Buddha's teachings. Later, my platelet index reached 127.
There was a period of slackness in my cultivation: I could not finish reciting 3 Little Houses within 2 days; did not want to get up in the morning; did not vow the number of Little Houses to my karmic creditors; and my vow was not powerful enough. These resulted in the two dream exams being flunked, leading to 3 or 4 indicators of abnormality.
Hence, my fellow Buddhist practitioners, please take me as a warning, and strive to cultivate our minds, recite Buddhist scriptures diligently, devote ourselves to one Buddhist practice, and never quit!
Now I sincerely make 10 vows to Guan Yin Bodhisattva:

1. Be a vegetarian all my life;
   
2. Do not kill beings all my life;
   
3. Release life according to conditions all my life;
   
4. Respect my Master and His Buddhist teachings, be one of the hands and eyes of Guan Yin Bodhisattva, and never quit;
   
5. Study Buddhism in Plain Terms all my life;
   
6. Convince sentient beings to practice Buddhism using my experiences, propagate Buddhism, and transform the right ones extensively;
   
7. Recite 1,000 Little Houses to my karmic creditors in 2022;
   
8. Read Buddhism in Plain Terms 1,000 chapters in 2022;
   
9. Release 3,000 fish in 2022;
   
10. Attend the group study of Buddhism in Plain Terms 100 sessions in 2022.
    

Gratitude to the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva!
Gratitude to all Buddhas and Bodhisattvas from ten directions and three periods of time!
Gratitude to Master Jun Hong Lu!
If there is anything that is not rational or in line with the truth in the presentation, I'd like to seek forgiveness from Namo Sakyamuni Buddha, the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva, all Buddhas and Bodhisattvas, Dharma protectors, and Master Jun Hong Lu. I would appreciate critique and correction from my fellow practitioners!
I, not my fellow practitioners, will be responsible for my own karma!
Presenter: Buddhist practitioner Li
Posted: 2022-06-06
Translator: Frank
Published: 2023-08-31
Statement by translator
The story was translated from Chinese into English by meaning, not word by word. If there is anything that is not rational or in line with the true meaning of the Chinese version, I pray for forgiveness from the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva, all Buddhas and Bodhisattvas, Dharma protectors and Master Jun Hong Lu.
Propagation
It would be greatly appreciated if you would forward this presentation to all sentient beings you know, sick or healthy. You will accumulate immeasurable merits and virtues. Saving a life is more meritorious than building a seven-floor pagoda!
Would you like to change your destiny?
We will show you how to do the Five Golden Buddhist Practices of Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door: (1) making vows, (2) reciting Buddhist scriptures (sutras and mantras), (3) performing life liberation, (4) reading Buddhism in Plain Terms, and (5) repenting. You will personally witness how you and your family can achieve physical and mental stability, relief from illness and grievances, wisdom growth, academic progress, career advancement, and family happiness through Dharma. It’s free of charge.
Contact
Buddhist practitioner: Lily
Email: [sunnypurplelily@gmail.com](mailto:sunnypurplelily@gmail.com)
WeChat: HanJing20210820
原文如下：
心灵法门让患再生障碍性贫血的我，血小板从13恢复到127——心灵法门网友反馈
心灵法门让患再生障碍性贫血的我，血小板从13恢复到127！
感恩南无释迦牟尼佛！
感恩南无大慈大悲救苦救难广大灵感观世音菩萨摩诃萨！
感恩十方三世一切诸佛菩萨！
感恩龙天护法菩萨！
感恩恩师慈父！
感恩师兄们！
我在2021年经历两次经期大出血，9月5日那天去医院拿检查身体报告单，医生跟我说，我的病很严重，当时报告单显示我的血小板只有13，正常人为100到300，医生叫我打电话给我先生，让我老公陪我去市医院。当时先生不相信，以为检查出了问题，当天就没有去医院。
第二天上饭店吃饭，刚坐下来头发晕，不好了！我赶紧让先生打车上医院，医生看了单子就进行了各方面检查，骨穿，做胸部骨穿，检查结果出来确定是再生障碍性贫血，当时真不知道这个病的严重性，一直还认为自己没有乱吃东西，还觉得自己正能量满满，不会生病，当时真不知道自己有多愚痴无明，有很多的无明习气，熬夜，爆脾气，邪淫，打胎。不学佛不知道，学佛后才知道业障深重啊！
一直以来我妇科不好，也没有去医院，也很怕去医院，真是怕什么来什么。真是后悔没有及时检查身体，也正如在两年前一个晚上做梦，梦见我去世的阿姨和旁边两个小孩，阿姨针对我妇科说癌症，当时没有学佛不知道自己有劫，醒来也有些害怕，只是觉得只是一个梦而已，就没有重视。就这样两年后业障爆发，就这样在医院进行了八到十天治疗，我们要求出院了，因为费用太高，不得不出院.回到家后，去我们县医院，一个带眼镜的医生跟我说要做骨髓移植，公公和爸爸都不相信，我也不相信，这么年轻三十几岁不可能得这么严重的病。于是我们上市医院进行了治疗，医院跟我说确定要做骨髓移植，这时才了解这个病的严重性！
师父说一定要重视预示梦，不重视后悔来不及，当时没有闻到佛法哪里懂师父说的这些道理。做骨髓移植对我们来说晴天霹雳！要几十万，我们家穷，哪里有那么多钱！在医院那段时间吓得吃不下、睡不着，我也有着长期的失眠症，睡在旁边的两个癌症病人，其中一个每天身体疼痛，靠止痛药才能止痛，真是痛苦不堪，一个癌症病人七十多岁了，也害怕死亡。没有闻到佛法，只能随命运走，不想走也得走，只有闻到佛法才有办法。
在医院经过了十几天的治疗，我要求出院回家吃药，保守治疗，医院那个环境一刻也不想待，全是重症，癌症，想想都恐惧，于是我出院了回到家中。
有一天清晨我在锻炼身体，突然浑身无力，正好公公回来了，我赶紧叫他带我上诊所，当时连下楼都是公公背下楼的。一天晚上我在网上看到一位朋友血液病没有做骨髓移植，经过一家专科中西医结合医院让自己的低血小板恢复到正常了。于是，我赶紧按上面的联系方式联系到了医生，挂号预约，老公回来立马订了第二天的去医院的卧铺票。当天晚上我就没有睡，我怕我没有这个福气，怕睡着了醒不过来了。到了医院治疗了几天，血小板还是没有上来，这下可愁死我了，该怎么办？这个时候我才知道我的这个病靠药物根本控制不了的。
就在这时，菩萨保佑我，让我看到一位师兄在网上发的师父图腾的视频，看了才明白是自己邪淫、打胎孩子的业障病，菩萨慈悲保佑让业障深重的我闻到了佛法。于是我就运用心灵法门“三大法宝”，立马许愿吃素，出院放生2000条鱼，刚许下愿吃素，发现胃口大增，在医院最让我开心的事情就是吃饭。住了半个月回到家中，师兄给我寄来了心灵法门的佛学资料，就做起了功课。大概念了十来天时间去医院检查，血小板从十几上升到了27了，接着又念了一个月，第二次检查血小板从27上升到50了，第三次检查由50上升到了107，正常人100到300，已经正常了。
好开心，菩萨保佑！我当时眼泪都掉下来，虽然当时还有指标不正常，有些贫血，但是毕竟才闻到佛法几个月时间。后来我的血小板指标达到127。中间有段时间懈怠，两天念三张小房子还念不动，早上还爬不起来，迟迟不敢许愿给自己要经者小房子的数量，愿力不够，两次梦境考试不及格，导致三四个指标不正常，所以师兄们，要以我为戒，努力修心，念经，一门精进，永不退转！
现在我真诚地向观世音菩萨许愿：
第一，终生吃素；第二，终生不杀生；第三，终生随缘放生；第四，尊师重道，做观世音菩萨的千手千眼，永不退转；第五，终生学习《白话佛法》；第六，终生现身说法，弘扬佛法，广度有缘人；第七，2022年一年内念诵1000张小房子给自己要经者；第八，2022年一年内读《白话佛法》1000遍；第九，2022年一年内放生3000条鱼；第十，：2022年一年内共修精进学习《白话佛法》100场。
感恩南无大慈大悲救苦救难广大灵感观世音菩萨！
感恩十方三世一切诸佛菩萨！
感恩卢台长师父！
我的分享结束了，分享中如有不如理不如法的地方，恳请南无释迦牟尼佛慈悲原谅，恳请南无大慈大悲观世音菩萨慈悲原谅，恳请十方三世一切诸佛菩萨和龙天护法菩萨慈悲原谅，请师兄们批评指正。我自己的业障自己背！不让师兄们背！
分享人：李同修
2022-06-06
您想改变命运吗？
我们手把手传授您观世音菩萨的心灵法门五大法宝：“许愿”、“放生”、“念经”、“读《白话佛法》、大忏悔”。您将亲自见证如何通过佛法让自己及家人获得身心安定、病苦解除、冤结化解、智慧增长、学业进步、事业提升、家庭幸福。免费学习，免费结缘。
欢迎联络Lily佛友：sunnypurplelily@gmail.com
或者加Lily佛友微信：HanJing20210820
Disclaimer of Liability:
The contents of the presentation and answers, including text, images, and other information obtained from Dharma practitioners, are provided strictly for reference purposes. Due to the unique nature of individual karma, results similar to those experienced by the authors may not be replicated. The experiences and advice shared should not be construed as medical advice or a diagnosis.
In the event of an emergency, it is crucial to promptly contact your doctor or emergency services by dialing 911. Relying on any information found in the answers is done solely at your own risk. The translator and answerer bear no responsibility for the consequences. By using or misusing the contents, you accept liability for any personal injury, including death. It is imperative to exercise caution and seek professional medical guidance for health-related concerns.

same question as the title: which keychain/keyring would you use more?
1st option: the design includes some beads and a picture of the idol/group
2nd option: the design includes some beads with the initials of the member or the name of the group
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another question would be: would you prefer the design to be by member or by group?
a) design is per member
b) design is per group
——————————————————————————
kindly see the comment for sample pics taken from pinterest for visualization purposes only! credits to the owner.

Are you losing out on potential patients because when people look for medical services in your region on Google Maps, your hospital or clinic isn't listed?
Google My Business is here to assist you, so don't worry.
Ensuring that your clinic or hospital is among the top listings for local healthcare services can be achieved by claiming and improving your Google My Business listing. This will increase your internet presence, reputation within the community, and visibility. Keep potential patients from being drawn away by your rivals. Take control of your Google My Business listing right now to stay competitive!
Google My Business is an effective tool that can greatly improve your reputation and internet visibility. It provides many features designed especially to help medical practitioners. This blog post will discuss the significance of Google My Business for healthcare providers and offer helpful advice on how to maximize your online visibility.
Making the Most of Visibility and Reach
Healthcare providers can benefit from the Google My Business (GMB) program, which helps them show up in local map listings and Google search results. You can boost your chances of drawing in prospective patients in your neighborhood by making your profile as good as it can be.
Google shows a map with local listings at the top of the search results page when someone searches for healthcare services. Your practice's exposure and reach can be greatly increased by being visible in this important location. It makes sure that when prospective patients search for services in your area, they find your medical practice first. Make sure to include correct and current information about your practice, such as your address, phone number, and website link, to improve your discoverability.
For the purpose of drawing in new patients and retaining existing ones, having comprehensive practice details is crucial. You can facilitate prospective patients' finding and communication with your office by making sure all of your information is current and accurate. Make sure your data are correct now to avoid missing out on the chance to expand your practice!
Developing Credibility and Trust
Trust is crucial in the healthcare industry, and GMB offers a number of features to support you in building and preserving trust with your patients. GMB has an integrated review management system, which is one of its strongest characteristics.
Reviews and ratings regarding their interactions with your medical practice can be left by patients. Good evaluations have the power to greatly improve your reputation and credibility. Negative reviews, on the other hand, provide you the chance to speak with the reviewers directly and rectify any problems.
Consistently keeping an eye on reviews and answering them demonstrates to your patients your appreciation for their input and dedication to deliver top-notch service. By interacting with patients on this platform, you can also show prospective patients how committed you are to their care, which will increase their trust in selecting your clinic.
Features Particular to Healthcare Providers
Google My Business offers tailored functionality to healthcare providers based on their individual requirements. You may provide prospective patients with all the information they need to book an appointment or find out more about your practice by emphasizing your precise operating hours, contact details, and services provided.
Furthermore, patients may easily make appointments from your profile if you have an appointment scheduling system integrated with Google My Business. This tool improves the entire patient experience by saving time for both your staff and the patients.
It is essential to highlight any telehealth choices or COVID-19 safety precautions you have put in place, especially given the present political atmosphere. You are comforting patients by making this information readily visible on your Google My Business profile.
Healthcare: Local Search Engine Optimization (SEO)
For healthcare providers, Google My Business is a vital component of local search engine optimization (SEO). You can improve your chances of coming up in pertinent local searches by optimizing your business profile. Make sure you choose the categories that best represent your healthcare practice when setting up your profile. This makes it easier for Google to identify your area of expertise and direct training to people who are looking for local healthcare services.
Adding pertinent keywords to other sections, such as your business description, will help you rank higher in local searches. Think about utilizing terms that prospective clients would use to find local healthcare providers. You can learn more about your visibility by routinely examining your Google My Business Insights.
Many elements that Google My Business provides can help increase patient conversions and persuade prospective patients to choose your business. Use the "Request a Quote" and "Message" options to make it simple for prospective clients to contact you with inquiries or to learn more about your services. By answering questions right away, you increase the chance of conversion by demonstrating to prospective patients that you are aware of their needs and receptive.
Patient conversions can also be impacted by including evaluations and ratings from Google My Business into your website. Positive patient testimonials displayed prominently on your website can increase prospective patients' confidence and trust in you, increasing the likelihood that they will select your office over others.
You can get useful information for improving your marketing strategy by using Google My Business Insights to analyze patterns in patient behavior. It is possible to better target your future efforts to draw in and convert more patients by knowing what kind of material appeals to your audience and what keywords generate interest and traffic.
In summary
Having a strong online presence and effectively engaging with patients are crucial for healthcare providers. For your medical practice, Google My Business has the potential to be revolutionary. You may promote your skills, increase your credibility and visibility, and draw in new patients by employing this effective tool to the fullest. It will help your practice expand like never before.
You may improve your profile, incorporate methods for scheduling appointments, and present your services in a way that appeals to customers to get the most out of Google My Business. To enhance your marketing strategies and maintain a competitive edge, you can also monitor patient reviews and leverage audience data.
Utilizing Google My Business's capabilities can help your healthcare business grow to new heights in the modern digital era. So why hold off? Take use of this platform right now to start seeing results! Do give us a call if you need assistance.

I worked my ass off doing research and selling a bunch of my stuff to get the plane tickets because I'm pretty broke. I was excited for this trip because I was accepted into a German university for graduate school and figured I'd get a good introduction to living in Germany, and to be honest, Berlin itself has been great, all the locals I've met have been very nice to me, but my professors and everyone working from my university have been really unprofessional and tricky and now I'm in an unsafe position.** EDIT to add that when I say Friday I mean tomorrow, so I have about 1 day until getting kicked out of the hotel. I also didn't need a visa to get here, though I will be getting one for my graduate program in September, but this current program was less than a month long so it was counted as group tourism basically.
Long explanation, skip to the bottom for the TLDR:
Before I even got on a single plane, I found out customer service for my phone carrier and I had a misunderstanding a month ago when I bought my international plan and found out about 3 days in advance that my phone would be a brick here. I told the professor immediately and she said worse case scenario she would help me get a working phone when I landed, since it's kind of needed for basic safety. Just half a day before the first flight, I got bitten by a few deer ticks and said I might also need help scheduling a doctors appointment when I land, because our travel insurance required a working phone number and it was too late for me to make an appointment before my flight. The professor said that was fine and I would be helped with that as well, so I got on the first plane in full confidence.
When I landed, a day passed without either thing being handled, and that was fine by me, but then multiple days passed and the professor kind of just waved it off. I'd started to feel a little unwell and asked the professor to help me find a doctor and she said it was just jetlag.
One of the first days of the program we went to a restaurant, and the seating was a very small reserved room with our entire 20+ cohort in it. I have CPTSD and am claustrophobic and knew immediately that I did not want to sit there, so I asked the professor if she could help me ask the staff request a seat for me in the outside dining area, or, if one wasn't available, that I could just sit outside on a nearby bench and skip dinner. She told me the room was reserved for us and this was on the itinerary so I HAD to sit there, and when I again said I didn't think I could, she demanded I sit there again and condescendingly asked me if I really couldn't or just didn't want to. I started to cry as quietly as possible and then that suddenly made her understand, so we went outside and I explained that, in my opinion, trying to force any adult to do something they're uncomfortable with and have said "No" to is bad enough to me normally, but since I have a disability, it's also ableist. I tried to frame that sentiment in a "I'm sure you didn't mean it this way" kind of way but she still took offence to the criticism and I think that led to the rest of this.
After that happened I was feeling more ill and the professor said, "Oh, do you think it's lyme? Because if it was lyme you'd have a rash. It's probably still jetlag". At this point I said again that I needed some help getting a working phone number and medical advice from a doctor and she told me to take responsibility for myself. I'd bought myself a SIM card but it needed some unexpected trouble shooting and everything was in German (I know some German but only around A2 level and absolutely none is required for this program), so I'd already tried to help myself, and again could not schedule myself an appointment without a working phone.
I asked the professor if she could put her phone number in just to let the appointment scheduling process complete and she said no. I asked if she had any other ideas and she again told me to figure it out. I wound up walking 20 minutes through Berlin alone with no working phone to a doctor's office unannounced, barely able to fill half the sign in sheet and navigate the language barrier, and successfully got the antibiotics I needed and a lyme diagnosis. The nurse even asked why I came alone. Thankfully for me everyone in the doctors office including the doctor was very very nice to me despite the curveball I through them.
Not long after all that the professor sent an email with me cc'd in to the office of international affairs at the university, and the email said, in effect, "This student said they have a disability and can't stick to the itinerary and therefore I think they're not a good fit for this program and should go home." I immediately responded that that wasn't accurate, that I just could not sit inside a restaurant or other very cramped space, etc. Then I figured while I was at it I'd tell them about the total lack of care for my safety or wellbeing here. After sending that email the professor confronted me and tried to pretty much intimidate me into admitting everything was all my fault or something, I honestly have no clue, I think she was just upset and trying to make me feel better somehow. I think my criticism really got to her and made her kind of just hate me and that she wanted to make me make her feelings make sense. No clue honestly.
Anyway, after that the office of international affairs reached back out to me and were acting way nicer than they were when I first enrolled in this program, which felt sus, but I was haggard and miserable and wanted to be able to trust them so I did. They told me if I was considering coming home early for my own health and safety, that I could unenroll that night to make sure the alum who gave me a scholarship would at least be refunded, but that I had to do it that night since it was the last day to drop for a refund. I said I wasn't sure if I wanted to leave the program, and they said if you're considering it unenroll and if you want to stay after further discussion then we can probably just go ahead and re enroll you.
So I did it. The next day I'm scheduled to meet with someone who told me the day or so before that she would be my advocate and that she was there to listen to and represent me, and when I join the zoom meeting, it's her, but also two other people from the international affairs office. They're telling me my return flight has already been scheduled and everything and that they were sending out a person to chaperone me on the flight, because, though it was totally ignored on my flights here, I'd mentioned at the very start of the application process that I'd been a human trafficking victim before and ideally wanted to fly with someone instead of alone. All of this had less than a 24 hour turnaround from me unenrolling.
I realized hours after unenrolling that I don't want to leave the program, I just want to actually be allowed to engage in the program as it was advertised and as it was promised, and that leaving the program, to me, feels like capitulating to the professor being an asshole to me and like removing liability from the university. In short I think I pretty much got tricked into unenrolling. I told them I didn't want to leave early and they told me they already scheduled everything and got a refund for my hotel room, so if I don't take the flight back Friday, I will be homeless on the streets for 2 weeks until the flight that I personally purchased for the 31st, and that since I hit the unenroll button, my housing, health, or safety will no longer be the universities problem after Friday.
So, the fuck do I do with this, ya'll got any life advice? Or know any cheap hostels or something? Or even just some moral support haha.
TLDR: Got tricked into hitting unenroll button after damaging professors ego, most likely purposely tricked to absolve the university of responsibility because how the profs were treating me and everything I described probably did make me a liability even if not my fault, but I'm mad and I'm enjoying Berlin and don't want to leave early or let the university get away with risking my health and safety multiple times with no apologies.
Sidenote: The professor also said a lot of things insinuating that, because she didn't like me, neither would any of my professors in my grad school program will, and as much as I think she said it in a vindictive way, I will admit it has me second guessing if I want to actually pursue that in September. After all this I just feel like running from academia in general.

I get frustrated with genius annotations, especially re: Vampire Weekend's discography. While I was reading through some of the lyrics last night, it struck me how surface level many of the associations are on the lyric page for "Ice Cream Piano," which is a shame for such a thematically rich song.
That said, I decided to take a stab at dissecting the song as a whole, while tying some of the more obscure references with themes in the larger project.

Verse 1

"Fuck the world," /you/ said it quiet No one could hear you, no one but /me/ "Cynical, you can't deny it" 

Ezra seems to be describing a conversation between "himself" and "his partner" reacting to an unspecified issue. "She" reacted to something, and "he" criticizes that reaction. However, there is some ambiguity regarding who exactly is saying the last line; is it the singer himself, or is he quoting her as he did the opening line?
This ambiguity is a carried theme throughout the rest of the song, and as the lyrics continue, which side is throwing out accusations becomes less relevant. The implied goal of these first lines is to frame the rest of the song as an argument between two individuals, and to show the sneaky ways in which their conflicting viewpoints mirror each other.
I think it's important to mention here that, ahead of "Father of the Bride," Ezra spoke about wanting to move away from the more impressionistic style present in earlier Vampire Weekend records and experiment in writing lyrics where the general theme of the song can be understood in the first few lines. Furthermore, during the Zane Low release interview for "Only God Was Above Us," Ezra dove deep into the track listing process, stating he knew early on that "Ice Cream Piano" needed to be the opening track.
Knowing these two facts, these deceptively unassuming lines in fact carry a significant weight. Where the high-level reading describes a conflict between two individuals, the deeper understanding is that they each represent a conflicting philosophy or idea -- a conflict that will serve as the central thematic core for the album as a whole.

"You don't want to win this war 'cause you don't want the peace Armistice, /we/ never tried it *You're* the soldier, *I'm* police Listen, baby, we can't deny it You don't want to win this war 'cause you don't want the peace" 

As this section of the song is accompanied by a second vocal track, we can assume these lines as sung to each other, implying that their only point of agreement is the recognition of the other's uncompromising nature.
Armistice, simply stopping conflict, is so beyond an option because they're hypocrites -- criticizing the other based on one's subjective position. In her eyes, he's the soldier; in his, police. In this metaphor, one serves as the agitator and the other as defender.

Verse 2

The word was weaponized as soon as it had passed your lips 

The "word" here seems to be either war or peace. But with either it's a loaded offer because, as implied earlier, they're not engaging with the other's viewpoint in good faith and, as such, their criticisms are unfounded. His distaste towards cynicism and her more myopically aligned viewpoint sit diametrically opposed. Their definition of peace is incompatible. As the music builds, it seems to come in conflict with Ezra's vocals; he's nearly shouting as they climb and create a barrage of competing sounds.

I am a gentleman, I refuse to show my gentleness Fuck around and find out, the angry child recites this every day The universe will pry out, the truth which is you've got nothin' to say 

What's interesting about this verse is that, on first reading, the beginning of each statement seems to support the last -- as if said by the same person. However, on closer inspection it seems as though the following mocks the prior; "I am a gentleman, I refuse to show my gentleness" is clearly self contradictory -- as are the other two when read as single statements.
When split at their conflicting point as "I am a gentleman," and separately, "I refuse to show my gentleness," it continues to follow the theme set in Verse 1 of a conversation between two individuals. So, the verse can be read as:

I am a gentleman, I refuse to show my gentleness Fuck around and find out, the angry child recites this every day The universe will pry out, the truth which is you've got nothin' to say 

When one side says something, the other interrupts and mocks that statement. This pattern can be observed in the following two lines. However, by choosing to frame both the initial statement and its contradiction in the first person, Ezra is able to explore the narcissism present in the respective ideologies of the two individuals. They cannot see past their own egos to agree with the other, because the criticisms levied by one are exactly those which the other is accusing them of. As the verse continues, this rising tension and anger becomes more pointed and prevents either side from finishing a complete statement, the screams of one silence the other; and as they are both screaming, neither is able to say anything of import.

Fuck around and find out, the angry child recites this every day 

Following this, the second line is a slightly more direct accusation, presumably in the third person.

The universe will pry out, the truth which is you've got nothin' to say 

The final line is a direct accusation, and the only of the three in second person.
It becomes clear here that Ezra seems to be less interested in the specific opposing ideas and more in the conflict between the two, and the dissonance between that conflict and each of the participant's apparent similarities. The words each one says are weaponized before they are even uttered, demolishing any chance for good faith discussion.

Chorus

In dreams, I scream piano, I softly reach the high note The world don't recognize a singer who won't sing 

There are a couple bits of wordplay happening here, outside of the dream imagery.
The first, and most obvious, is the phrasing of "Ice Cream Piano" in the title and "I Scream Piano" in the verse; pointing back to the song's overarching metaphor, "Ice Cream Piano" and "I Scream Piano" are simple homophones, which is to say they are two different phrases spoken the same way -- here, two ideas saying the same thing.
The second bit of wordplay is the actual usage of "I scream piano." Ezra is purposefully employing the Italian-rooted musical usage of "piano" which, when present in a composition, means to play that section quietly. The second half of the line turns yet another self-contradictory observation into a double-entendre; the "screaming" piano is softened by the instruction of "piano."
The first line of the chorus, when coupled with the second, paints a picture of someone who desperately wants to express their beliefs but, whether it be because the screams are quiet or because screams themselves are not songs, the "singer" and their "song" are rejected by the world at large.
Framing this whole verse as a dream connects these ideas to the larger themes of the song, as being unable to run or scream in a dream is a fairly common experience for people, it seems as though Ezra is using the chorus here to highlight the end of the second verse, "the truth which is you've got nothing to say."
Another equally valid analysis is to literalize the quiet screaming; the anger and animosity between the couple motivates them only to scream, and never to sing. Their unending fighting reduces any opportunity for growth through debate to rubble; at this point, they just don't fucking like each other.

Verse 3

You talk of Serbians, whisper Kosovar Albanians The boy's Romanian, third generation Transylvanian I see the vampires walkin', don't be gripped by fear, you aren't next We're all the sons and daughters of vampires who drained the old world's necks 

Russian iconography is further mentioned throughout "Only God Was Above Us," and serves as one of the more important throughlines of the album -- connecting Ezra's familial history in Eastern Europe, their ties with Russia, and its relationship to modern issues. This, as the first reference in the album to Russia at large, works as a bit of place setting.
Here, the specific namedrops highlight the same conflict described earlier in the song; the Serbians and Kosovo were once a united country as Yugoslavia, but were split by civil war as a result of fundamental ideological differences at the end of the last millennium. Moreover, the usage of "talk" versus "whisper" implies open discussion about the first (Serbia) and the need to sweep the more complicated history of the second (The Kosovar Albanians, the Kosovo War) under the rug.
The conflict between Romania, Kosovo, and Serbia is a deeply complicated and delicate situation that spans generations of ideological and political conflict. The mention of the Romanian's history surrounded by the context of Serbia and Kosovo, and the subsequent criticism of that observation, again highlights the nature of the conflict between the two individuals in the song: where one recognizes the material legacy of these terrible "vampires," the other points out that the new generation is not the old, and are not necessarily beholden to their crimes or traditions.

Chorus 2

In dreams, I scream piano, I softly reach the high note The world don't recognize a singer who won't sing 

Outro / Chorus 3

In dreams, I scream piano, I softly reach the high note The world don't recognize a singer who won't sing 

The repetition of the choruses at the end of the song, combined with the strong call-and-response of the instrumentation between and after the chorus and outro sections, points towards an unending conflict. By the end of the song's narrative, neither side has arrived at a compromise. In reference to the album, "Ice Cream Piano" serves as a massive "YOU ARE HERE" marker on a larger map of western and American political culture. There's a pretty clear line to draw from the struggle between the two characters described in this song and the ouroboric nature of modern-day political discourse, as we witness two parties cannibalize each other in an attempt to garner support from a majority of peoples. But to say that's the entire message of the song feels reductive to the incredible songwriting here. Even that conclusion lends to the broader observation of two ideas that exist only to oppose the other.
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Chapter 1: the event
It was the fall of my intern year as I bean my off service trauma rotation. This month was ubiquitously notorious for being the most labor intrusive and least productive rotaion of our emergency medicine program. Knowing this I entered with the intention of simply surviving the month.
Another intern and I let’s call them A for sake of ambiguity, we’re the first emergency medicine residents to roste on the trauma services that year. A shaky start would be an understatement. In the words of chance the raper “like my grama with the Parkinson’s playing operation.” Would better describe it. Medically we did well. We were very competent and completed our work daily, but communication and coordination was non existent. Our Cheifs had informed us that Tuesday was our day of and the Trauma cheif residents had minimum communication with us, or our Cheifs as it seams when A and I did not report on Tuesday they sternly made their dissatisfaction known.
I have struggled with insomnia sense the age of 10. Had 2 sleep studies by this point in my life and been prescribed nearly every sleeping aid on the market. The 80-94 hr work weeks of our trauma rotaion only worsened my insomnia. My lack of sleep likely contributed to a less than prime adaptive immune system and 2 days out of my trauma rotaion I contracted strep like symptoms with associated nausea, requiring me to call for a sick day the next day. No the first day that I felt too ill to work. I was not fully aware of the reporting process. I reported to my Chiefs, but I did not believe I could come to work tomorrow with amble time and notice, however I was somewhat delayed in letting their Cheifs know, because the surgical chiefs rotated every few days and I did not know who my was going to be the next day. The second day which I had to call out sick I was able to locate the cheif for the next day and reprot according to our university’s protocol, which requires that if a resident feels they are not fit for work they must not come in and the university must have staff coverage without any fear or implementation of punitive actions.
I had finally survived to the last week of my trauma rotaion and I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. What I could not see was the pile of stress, shitty diet, lack of mental well ness and sleep deprivation which I was pushing down to reach the light. By this time I had seen a psychiatrist regularly for sleep medication. I had mentioned to him that I had been experiencing more stressed lately and feel that I might be depressed. he reassured me that it was likely only due to my circumstances, given the difficulty of the trauma rotation and wish to reassess once the rotation was over. Looking back I had to fill the habit of drinking more than I usually do. My only on nights before I have days off became 1-2 beers every other night. All of this repressed unhealthy shit finally pushed bad on September 23rd. That night I was at work even later than usual, I stayed up later than usual and couldn’t seem to fall asleep. With the stress of only having minimal sleep and knowing I only had 2 more days of trauma left, I took an extra dose of my sleeping medication.
I opened my eyes to the fighting sight of sun beaming in my window and I instantly knew I was late. (Sense I hadn’t seen the sun in a month) . Due to my need for scrupulous sleep hygiene I have been sleeping with my phone of and away for me. I rushed to grab it and watched as the little Apple logo seamed to glow on the screen for an eternity. Then in conjunction with its fading I saw 3 missed calls from my director, a text from college A and 2 missed calls from the surgical director. Still, I was able to calm myself, knowing that resident A had been late to this rotation by a few hours 2 other days and nothing came of it. I called my director back and he asked me to report to his office where I was greeted by my director, my coordinator and another emergency medicine facility.
With the only explanation of: “we just want you to get better”, I was handed a letter, to my relief it did not entail my termination, but a declaration of administrative leave and a requirement to undergo an evaluation at a well known university in Florida.
Lake any other savvy millennial, I did my research. By research I mean numerous google searches and screeches thru the depts of redit. To my dismay I discovered that in order for a residency program to fire you, they must first initiate an administrative suspension. I would soon find out however, being terminated would have been a delightful outcome compared to what ensued.
I spend the next few weeks in the wallos of regret and depression. I indulged in higher qualities of alchohol then I ever have before. I all but ceased communing with peers, and abruptly stoped any physical activity I had once enjoyed. Frightened as I was I was ensured, it will be ok “we just want you to get better”
Chapter 2 The evaluation : guilty until proven innocent I did exactly as instructed and scheduled an evaluation, I supposed that this was either a mental evaluation to assess if I’m fit for work with plans of termination or it actually was an evaluation to better treat my insomnia. To this day I regret my ignorance, and wish I had researched the process more. The Hindi / sand-skrt idea of Hamsa 🪬 is that in order to do any good you must have full knowledge or else good intentions can result in harm. I truely believe my director had good intentions, however but him and I did not have full knowledge of the nature of this evaluation.
Looking back see how easily I could have avoided my troubles by asserting legal aid at this point or even by researching this evaluation process more in depth. If one searches impaired practitioner program which I now know this evaluator works for, the search entire will populate 5 or 6 layferms along side their home website and there is a valid reason for this.
If one every finds themself in this process I employ you to bring a DSM to your evaluation or at least be familiar with the most common use disorders in the DSM-5, because your evaluation will turn into a dance of questions where the evaluator attempts to trap you in a round about way to stating something that may qualify for one of the diagnosis. I have provided an image from the DSM-5 below outlining AUD, which the evaluator concluded that I had the most severe from:
Image
Example***** Here are 10 examples of how he fraudulently assessed me taken directly from his assessment note.

1. Evaluator: Have you ever stoped drinking in the last year.

Me: yes I stoped every week day, I was only drinking on the weekends, until two weeks ago.
-Evaluator uses stoping and starting every week to qualify for 2 or more unsuccessful attempts to stop in the last year “There is a persistent desire or unsuccessful efforts to cut down or control alcohol use.”

1. Evaluator Have you ever had withdrawal symptoms

Me no
Evaluator Well Have you ever had a hangover? You know that’s a from of acute withdrawal
Me: yes in college, I had a few but that was years ago and I’m pretty sure the pathophysiology is different.
Evaluator uses this to count for withdrawal symptoms even tho is was more than a year ago

1. Evaluator: Have you even taken your sleeping medication on a day or night which you drank? Me: Yes, I took my prescriptions are prescribed but I never drank close to bed

Evaluator: qualified this as dangerous behavior with alcohol (where the DSM gives examples such as unprotected sex and drunk driving). The sleeping medication I was on is not a benzodiazepine therefore it is not deadly with alcohol. I personally have seen many patients in the ED who have taken their entire bottle of the medication and drank copious amounts, we just monitor them over night and rehydrate them

1. Evaluator Has anyone told you you drink to much or been worried about you Me: No I drink much less than my friends

Evaluator what about your girlfriend? Me: well she actually doesn’t drink at all she doesn’t like it. She often buys me beer for The Weeknd’s tho. One time we went to a movie and she got a little irritated because I waited for beer then complained about them not having any craft beer. So she said, “you couldn’t have just said no” and drank something else. However, she apologized after and said it’s worth waiting if it’s my only day off.
Evaluator said this qualifies for continued drinking despite causing significant relation consequences, ie divorce.

1. Evaluator : you have sleep issues I hear, and your chart says you’ve had depression in the past, don’t you know that alcohol can effect your sleep and mood Me: yes that’s why I never drink within 3 hours of sleep.

Evaluator but you knew this and still drank
Evaluator: qualifies for drinking despite unwanted physical or psychological effects (this should be recurring to effects the alcohol is causing, I have had insomnia sense the age of 10 long before I took my first sip)
7 evaluator you were late for work and told my you had a drink the day before
Me: Yes but I was late because I didn’t sleep and took double my sleeping meds, I will never do that again
Qualifies for 2 significant work or school issues in the past year ( a therapist and other psychologist ensured me that being late on or a few days doesn’t count they typically are getting fired or failing) ( moreover, this would assume I was late do to drinking it’s self and also assume if happened more than once)

1. • Alcohol is often taken in larger amounts or over a longer period than was intended

He never once asked anything related to this question yet said I qualified in his final report 9. A great deal of time is spent in activities necessary to obtain alcohol, use alcohol, or recover from its effects. The evaluators logic here was sense I was late for work and I had 2 beers the day before I must be taking long to recover from it (this is assuming I missed due to alcohol)

1. Tolerance drinking more to require the same effect: this he checked as true in his final note however it was never even discussed in our evaluation. I did mention to him that I’ve been drinking more than I had earlier in the year frequency wise, but they said nothing to do with quantity or needing more.
   
2. Wanting to drink so bad you can not think of anything else: this is the only qualification of SAUD my evaluator said I did not have.
   

Moreover, without legal help I was not aware that I could obtain a second evaluation or even oppose going to get evaluated at all, but that wouldn’t have mattered seeing I still thought this was for my health and wellbeing as seen when I was asked why do you think you are here to today, to which I replayed “so that I can be evaluated to see what is needed to get back to work”.
To maks the ordeal more infuriating the evaluator continues to ingratiate himself and lie through the process telling you, “it will be fine as long as you are 100% honest”, “anything you say in here is between you and me” or “you slipped up once with your meds, I know your residnecy program they will probably just want a few more out patient tests”
Two weeks later I received a phone call right before I left for an out of state vacation to visit my nice for her birthday. During the call I was informed that I would be required to complete a partial hospitalization program (PHP) lasting “6-10 weeks” which would coast from 15-50 grand not including doctor visits or housing which is billed separately. I suppressed this inconvenience, enjoyed my vocation and reported when I returned, knowing that I must complete this soon so I may return to work with due to the fact that my payed time off would soon be diminished. At this time I had not yet heard of the organization PRN.
Chapter 3 Guilty till proven innocent: The diagnosis
Shell shocked I arrived to a in patient psychiatric unit and was rapidly cleared to progress to treatment without detoxification. During my 90 day of forced rehabilitation I met a few other individuals who were unjustly and fraudulently forced into treatment. I began to look up to one of these such members of the men’s community, who I will refer to as patient X for ambiguity sake.
Unlike me patient X did have alcohol use disorder. He spent many clinic days drinking to avoid alcoholic withdraws. The curious component of his story is that he admitted his depravity, saught help and through his own journey became sober. The bodies at be, namely his local physician, Health monitoring program, rejected his personal path to sobriety and forced him to undergo 90 days of in patient treatment before he could practice medicine again. When he checked in to rehab he had been sober for over a year.
Ask for Stories of people from online
As for me I spend many sleepless nights pondering how consuming a legal substance in a moderate amount could throw me into significant legal financial issues. My labs my toxicology, my story and my collateral from colleagues from colleagues all indicated light to moderate alcohol use but my evaluators word stood as the word of God.
More frightening was the director of this rehabs acknowledgment of this. The director who happens to also coincidentally be the evaluator, stated to me as well as to staff on multiple occasions: “ I suggest inpatient treatment for everyone who is reported”. “This is safer for me not to miss anyone who could harm patients, and I figure there must be a reason someone reported them.”
I am still elucidating the reason why I was determined guilty and proven innocent, however I can say from my 90 day stent that the majority of the patients at this rehab needed to be there. This program is saving lives of both providers and patients, however it is destroying the lives of those wrongfully accused.
Chapter 4 your lisense rehab or jail : Upon arivil I was sent to a detox hospital underwent a medical examination and was “one of the lucky ones” who required no detoxification and could report directly to PHP. Like everyone else, I spent 90 days in a PHP, being as 6-10 weeks is simply a lie they tell patients to decrease the change of resisting the treatment. When discussing the topic one therapist sated “if we told patients 90 days they would never come.” She then attempted to justify the treatment by outlining the story of a patient she had called who “didn’t make it to treatment” and killed themselves”. It is my belief that it is not the lack of PHP which impelled such professionals to take their life, but them realizing that they now will be obliged to undergo 90 days of PHP, 5 years of PRN monitoring with a loss of autonomy and hundreds of thousands of dollars taken from them that induced their hopelessness. For even if these professionals were truly mentally unstable in their addictions, in every case it was only following a phone call where they were informed they must undergo treatment that they took their life’s. By this time I still haven’t the slightest clue what PRN was.
Despite the security these programs provide for many my 6 main issues with them can be summarized in : 1. Kick backs: evaluators are directors of treatment clinics 2. The reported are guilty till proven innocent 3. The price, the overflow of money these places drag in from both patients and state universities is appalling, they charge separately for every visit and test 4. Although they make the claim that they are individualized, they are anything but. Every patient gets the same stay and treatment from the doctor drunk on the job and the one who was late to a shift 5. They force voluntary treatment. remember that friendly evaluator who promised he had your best interest at heart, so you opened up and told him everything about your substance use/ developmental / family history, well if you don’t stay for 90 days he will be “normally obliged” to tip the board of medical off to you.

1. The programs have overstepped their intended jurisdiction. -these programs work well if they function how they were intended at their inception. Cite original purpose. Originally these programs were designed to protect physicians and civilians from impaired practitioners; being healthcare workers who were impaired at work. Over the years, these organizations have extended their authority to encompass individuals with substance use disorders When not at work and also those who are in training to become healthcare professionals. Take for example myself compared to a physician who is impaired at work. A doctor who arrived for duty under the influence would surely benifit from the extensive testing, therapy and accountability enforced via these programs. In accordance the 20,000$ per year cost is appropriate when only making up roughly 7% of their yearly salary vs nearly half of a residents. In my case with my loss of income from employment, coast of treatment and monitoring, this year I will be required to pay 20,000$ to work. Yes, I will be losing money to work. Even if did indeed have a substance use disorder this level of monitoring wouldn’t not be considered appropriate.

Dispite all of the miscomings of this System My time spend in PHP was indeed helpful, as I believe it would be for anyone. Time for exercise, a reprieve from work and weekly counseling. A sample structure of my day to day schedule is provided below for insight:
Structure The general structure of these rehabitation centers is as follows: 1. One week of orientation phase, where you are not allowed in electronics or contact with the outside world world. Therefore, if you’re going, bring some things you would like to read or study. 2. In phase 2, you can use your phone however you cannot leave campus. You must stay in the dorm on campus. These shitty 1 room run down apartments with two other roommates will cost you about $1000 a week, they are required for at least four weeks and they are billed separately, no insurance will help you out here. 3. In phase 3 you can commute to campus if you beg your therapist and live very close. Whether you’re on campus or living off-campus, you are allowed to leave up to four hours per day. If you commute, you’ll be required to take a sober link decide you must Breath, alcohol test into every 6 hours. Like everything else in this program you must pay for this separately, a few hundred dollars a week. You advanced to other phases by completing assignments, however, assignments are limited by required built-in time, intrusive, scheduling, and reviewing. Therefore, if you do everything as rapidly as possible phase 1 will take one week phase 2 will take three weeks.
Every day schedule:
7:30: wake up, report to the front desk to inform them that you haven’t ran away yet and take and prescribed medications. They keep all your medications and require that you report to take them; for me this was antidepressants in an attempt to dispel the depression I contracted from being forced into treatment and whatever off label medication they were attempting to treat my ADHD with, since control medications were forbidden.
8 am: community group assessments This consisted of other patients presenting their assignments amongst the large group, on the weekends this was often an hour later and 12 study regularly took the place of assignment presentation.
10 am: process group. This was a two hour group therapy session with 6 to 12 other professionals in a therapist and training or occasionally a licensed mental health therapist.
1 pm: recreation This was generally about an hour of some sober themed craft or activity. Once a week this time slot was used for yoga.
2 pm: this was another time slot used for patients to present assignments as well as for individual therapy sessions. Each patient had one individual therapy session lasting 30 minutes per week.
3pm: This was time allotted to work on assignments or go to the gym on your sex specific scheduled gym day.
5pm: this time was used for guest speakers or another 12 step study group.
6 pm : this was generally an off-campus 12 step group
10 pm: report to the front desk and let them know you still haven’t ran away and take and Medication which are prescribed to take at night, then return to your cot bed in your room with 1-2 other roommates.
I found the community to be one of the most beneficial aspects of the PHP program. I was in a cohort of chill ass professionals of the same occupation who were always there to help each other.
Assignments The curriculum of the PHP consisted of assignment based on every step of the 12th step program. Generally, a patient would be required to complete an assignment on their own, review it with other patients, then faculty and finally present the assignment in front of the whole treatment group. You’re only given one assignment at a time and there are multiple steps to each which all requires scheduling this ensures that no matter how determined a patient is a full 90 days of treatment is required to complete all the assignments.
AA structure -the obsolete nature of AA has been verified in numbers studies, but I will refrain from divulging here and lend that endeavor to Dr. Lance Dodes very thorough discussion on the subject,in “the sober truth “
In all sincerity, if I truely did have a severe use disorder this experience could have been life saving. I only wish I could have used my 50 grand for someone who has spent their life time In addictive without reprieve. My first conversation when I was given my phone back was how I wish my father could be able to attend this PHP.
Chapter 5 reporting and PRN Self reporting What they ask you What you should tell them
There’s a third-party agency called professional resource network. Every state has their own. This agency works as a liaison between you and whatever credentialing service your occupation requires. Essentially they ensure your monitoring after treatment. Stake governments and licensing boards trust them, mainly because they monitor with the highest level of intrusiveness. This alleviates much work for state governments and licensing boards because once an individual is being monitored by a professional resource network, then they are deemed appropriate for duty and no further investigation/litigation needs to occur, as long as the monitored individual completely complies.
Because I was never impaired at work I was never reported to this agency. The general workflow of things someone would report you to professional resource network, then the resource network would contact you, and then you would be required to report for an evaluation at a treatment center, which would inevitably result in a suggestion I’ve treatment at that given treatment center. In my case I was sent to the treatment center without PRN being involved. Thus, two weeks into treatment. I was notified by my therapist that I needed to call PRN and self report. I attempted to resistance given that I did not have a problem and was not individually seeking help. I asked what happened if I didn’t self report. I was told that in order to stay in the treatment program I had to report to PRN. This meant either I report to PRN or I get kicked out of the treatment program and lose my job.
When you report to PRN they will ask you why you are in treatment. They will then list off every substance imaginable, asking you if you have ever tried the substance and when your last use was. Ultimately, they will obtain your discharge information from your treatment center, so it is in your best interest to report only what was found in your biochemical testing. If it wasn’t in your hair, I would argue that you don’t have a use disorder regarding that substance and it’s not relevant. I don’t believe it’s important for them to know that you smoked weed when you were 12.
Chapter 6 The contract:
Before being discharged from a treatment facility, a professional resource network will have you sign a contract. A little known fact which I was oblivious to is that contracts can be negotiated. Though this isn’t it possible, it is highly improbable that you can negotiate your contract since PRN has a power to delay your clearance to return to work.
Contractor almost never personalized, and I have not heard of a contract which is not a five-year agreement. You will sign releases of information so that PRN has access to all of your information which was gathered at the treatment facility. You must have a therapist, psychiatrist, primary care, doctor, and a addiction, medicine psychiatrist. You assign releases of information for all of them. You will be required To commit to: 1. three mutual aid meetings a week which you must log. I log smart recovery meetings. 2. Weekly therapy sessions with an approved mental health therapist from their list 3. Monthly doctors appointments with an addiction medicine psychiatrist 4. Yearly appointments with a primary care physician 5. Monthly appointments with a psychiatrist 6. Daily check-ins on a random drug testing app ( you will agree to weekly urine tests, a peth test 4 times a year, a hair test twice a year and a little caveat that says anything else they deem, clinically reasonable) 7. Quarterly update reports which you are required to obtain from a workplace monitor, therapist, addiction, medicine, psychiatrist, primary care physician and any other doctor you are seeing. 8. You must upload all of your prescriptions into a mobile application every single time you get them refilled and are not allowed to take them until they are approved. 9. Attendance of a PRN group via zoom. This is a local group you are assigned along with other monitored practitioners. There is a fee of roughly 130$ a month to attend this required group. For me all of these requirements coast around 20,000 a year. If you ever have a positive test even if it is the result of contamination from rubbing alcohol or unintentional ingestion of alcohol/ allergy medication your contract will rest to 5 years from the time of positive test. Once your five year contract is completed, you must ask to be released from monitoring. At that point they will search for any reason to keep you under monitoring. This could be dilute urines, daily check ins or a week where you did not attend mutual aid meetings. Every certification and license which you apply for will likely ask you if you were under a monitoring program/ have been treated for substance use. You must give an explanation and check yes. As far as licensing programs are concerned, if you were under the monitoring of PRN, you are safe, however they group practitioners who have had behavioral issues with practitioners who were diverting drugs from work. Therefore, keep in mind that you will be labeled as a sever addict.
7 Back to work and only work. During treatment your only goal is to return to work, however when you return your experience will be drastically distinct from what you remember. For me, I was now working in isolation. Missing six months of my training meant that no other Resident was on the same rotation as me. My coworkers at all formed friend groups. When I returned I was greeted with much concern for my well being. No one would speak to be about my absence, however everyone knew there is only one reason a resident would leave for 6 months then return. My Accdeemic meetings were consisting of attending telling me “I have a target on my back now” and “ I have to preform even better than others” in the light of my time missed. If this wasn’t alienating enough, the majority of Resident events, sponsored by recruiters and my university revolved around alcohol to which I had to give some excuse to why I can not partake with others. I’m fortunate that I do not have an addiction, because these stressful conditions along with the daunting amount of dead and requirements imposed by PRN are enough to make any addict relapse. While I was at treatment, I was in the dative with Samyr stories a physicians whose addictions got the best of them. Physicians who did not make it to treatment, often taking their own life. These stories were presented as a warning. Your addictions will kill you without our treatment was the message. When, in reality I did not hear one story in which the addiction killed physician. Every physician who didn’t make it to treatment took their life after being told they must report to a treatment facility. Perhaps they knew what this entailed and it was not their addiction or getting caught which caused them to end their lives, but the unmanageable and often unreasonable burden that treatment would put on their lives.
9 How to escape So your fucked your in PRN and should be or you should and now your recovered and want to terminated your contract.

1. You ask to be released early done at 1/2 time ( good luck)
2. You have “good reason” (no one has ever been let out of contract because of this reason, the verbiage is far too vague)
3. You serve all your time and they let you out(maybe, as discussed earlier, they would do everything they can to keep you in your contract as long as your practicing)
4. You can’t practice medicine anymore

10 Layer up butter cup : I cannot emphasize the extent to which legal help is required in this process. You much seek it and seek it early. Lawyers can provide many avenues to you early in the process. Once you have committed to treatment, gone for evaluation or are in a PRN contract , this is very little that you or legal help can do. Spend a few thousand dollars when you are accused and save the 20-30,000 later.
After you have been evaluated if you disagree as I did, then this is the process you must undergo. 1. Hire a occupation, defense, lawyer 2. Prove you don’t have an addiction, this is done by having an alternative evaluator with similar credentials state that either you don’t have an addiction or that PRN’s level of monitoring is not medically appropriate ( this will need to be a multi day neuropsychological evaluation, which will cost about $5000). 3. Your lawyer must draft in writing that the medical level of monitoring is not required such as another medical professional and send this to PRN 4. PRN will tattle on you to the board of medicine. 5. The board of medicine will conduct an investigation. 6. At the end or when they believe they have enough reasonable evidence to the board of medicine will suspend your license or claim, you must comply with the PRN contract to practice. 7. At this time your lawyer will defend you in the state court against the board. This is costly but much less than the coast of a 5 year PRN contract 8. If you win you will likely suggest an alternative level of care such as gonna get therapy every week. If you lose, than you wasted a fuck ton of money and are still bound by your PRN contract.
Overall this entire process has coast me Over all coast:
My finances for this year only including PRN and rent are as follows:
120-200$ every week for testing 480-800/ month
65 every week for therapy 195/month
125 every month for PRN group
About 50-69 every month for 2 doctor apts
So at least 745$/month at the lowest
Treatment at the recovery center coast 20,000 for me out of pocket and
I wasn’t payed for 6 months with no FMLA because I am a first year. At the 1 year mark I will have made 26,000 this year after taxes And payed About 29,000 on PRN alone
Rent is 1,000 so that’s 12,000 a year
Just in rent and PRN alone I will be at 26,000- 41,600 -15,600.
I will be in debt by at least 18,000 at the 1 year mark
Coast of treatment center 20,000 (with insurance) For each year of PRN roughly 20,000 Add that to 6 months of attending salary which was delayed due to my treatment time: at least 150,000 Layer coasts along with other evaluations 25,000 Missing 6 months of residency pay 30,000 Coast of 1 year in monitoring: 245,000 Coast of 5 years 325,000
If my case progress to a trail I will require an extra 20,000 in court coasts
Chapter 11 My secondary eval: Dr sushi After I arrived at my treatment center I challenge my evaluation multiple times. Each and every time I was discharged and often accused of alternate mental health/ substance abuse issues to discourage my advances. I was never given the opportunity to undergo alternative assessment, however PRN guidelines state that you can obtain a second option within 7 days of your first. This is a mute point, however, because you will not receive the results of your evaluation until over a week after it is conducted and the second evaluation must be conducted by another PRN hired evaluator of their choosing. During my stay in rehab I contacted PRN multiple times to attempt another evaluation/ legal help. They warned against both stating they were a “waste of money” and “pointless”.
After completing my treatment with the guidance of many addiction, experienced physicians, mental health counselors and psychiatrists recommendations I sought in a secondary evaluation. I chose a highly qualified professional with over 30 years of experience to conduct an extensive neuo psycho social evaluation of me. One that I was sure would be more extensive than the evaluation I received at treatment and more importantly an unbiased evaluation.
The results from my evaluation not only showed that I did not have a substance abuse problem warranting PRN level monitoring, but also that PRN was falling to allow adequate treatment of other conditions such as my ADHD. My evaluation showed my ADHD was not only untreated by PRNs attempt at using non controlled medication, but also in the top 3% most severe presentations of ADHD. My evaluator went on to explain my results by questioning why my treatment center even mandated I undergo neuro cognitive evaluation. The only neurodiverse findings were my IQ, my dyslexia and my ADHD. However, a neuo cognitive examination can be billed separately by treatment centers, therefore they always recommend one.
Chapter 12 Amongst its greed, intrusive nature and faulty accusations, professional recourse network function highly proficiently at the task they were designed to; protective physicians and patients from physicians who are impaired at work. In this domain they save lives, offer second changes and protect the public. When they act beyond their intended jurisdiction by imposing unnecessary monetary demands on practitionersin training, accuse practitioners without proof or act on behavior exemplified outside of a work setting they unjustly and inappropriately attack the week and innocent.
Proposed reform: As a trainee my universities malpractice insurance covers me for mistakes made at work. If a learner mistakenly harms a patient, then the university stands on their behalf. If the learner does something wrong under a teachers direct guidance, then the teacher is at fault. This makes sense logically as well as pragmatically. The state entrusts large amounts of money to hospital systems and universities to train resident physicians. A portion of this money is allocated to malpractice insurance. This should extend to accused impairment.
Suppose a training university was required to cover rehabilitation and monitoring of a resident of whom they claim is impaired. Alternatively they have the option of firing the trainee. This would reduce the number of innocent trainees being accused of impairment, make the process of rehabilitation more fair and provide a better use for tax payer derived dollars, which hospital systems are given to train residents. The truly impaired could still seek help, less false accusations would be made and with the employers having the ability to fire at the moment of impairment, there would be less chance of impairment at work.

I'm currently in Berlin, Germany, and about to be homeless for 2 weeks on the streets. I signed up for a study abroad program from my university, which I just graduated from last semester. I paid the application fee, got picked, paid for my own flight here and back, and then got a scholarship from an alumni couple in the department I got my degree in, and that scholarship paid for the rest of the trip.
I worked my ass off doing research and selling a bunch of my stuff to get the plane tickets because I'm pretty broke. I was excited for this trip because I was accepted into a German university for graduate school and figured I'd get a good introduction to living in Germany, and to be honest, Berlin itself has been great, all the locals I've met have been very nice to me, but my professors and everyone working from my university have been really unprofessional and tricky and now I'm in an unsafe position.** EDIT to add that when I say Friday I mean tomorrow, so I have about 1 day until getting kicked out of the hotel.
Long explanation, skip to the bottom for a TLDR:
Before I even got on a single plane, I found out customer service for my phone carrier and I had a misunderstanding a month ago when I bought my international plan and found out about 3 days in advance that my phone would be a brick here. I told the professor immediately and she said worse case scenario she would help me get a working phone when I landed, since it's kind of needed for basic safety. Just half a day before the first flight, I got bitten by a few deer ticks and said I might also need help scheduling a doctors appointment when I land, because our travel insurance required a working phone number and it was too late for me to make an appointment before my flight. The professor said that was fine and I would be helped with that as well, so I got on the first plane in full confidence.
When I landed, a day passed without either thing being handled, and that was fine by me, but then multiple days passed and the professor kind of just waved it off. I'd started to feel a little unwell and asked the professor to help me find a doctor and she said it was just jetlag.
One of the first days of the program we went to a restaurant, and the seating was a very small reserved room with our entire 20+ cohort in it. I have CPTSD and am claustrophobic and knew immediately that I did not want to sit there, so I asked the professor if she could help me ask the staff request a seat for me in the outside dining area, or, if one wasn't available, that I could just sit outside on a nearby bench and skip dinner. She told me the room was reserved for us and this was on the itinerary so I HAD to sit there, and when I again said I didn't think I could, she demanded I sit there again and condescendingly asked me if I really couldn't or just didn't want to. I started to cry as quietly as possible and then that suddenly made her understand, so we went outside and I explained that, in my opinion, trying to force any adult to do something they're uncomfortable with and have said "No" to is bad enough to me normally, but since I have a disability, it's also ableist. I tried to frame that sentiment in a "I'm sure you didn't mean it this way" kind of way but she still took offence to the criticism and I think that led to the rest of this.
After that happened I was feeling more ill and the professor said, "Oh, do you think it's lyme? Because if it was lyme you'd have a rash. It's probably still jetlag". At this point I said again that I needed some help getting a working phone number and medical advice from a doctor and she told me to take responsibility for myself. I'd bought myself a SIM card but it needed some unexpected trouble shooting and everything was in German (I know some German but only around A2 level and absolutely none is required for this program), so I'd already tried to help myself, and again could not schedule myself an appointment without a working phone.
I asked the professor if she could put her phone number in just to let the appointment scheduling process complete and she said no. I asked if she had any other ideas and she again told me to figure it out. I wound up walking 20 minutes through Berlin alone with no working phone to a doctor's office unannounced, barely able to fill half the sign in sheet and navigate the language barrier, and successfully got the antibiotics I needed and a lyme diagnosis. The nurse even asked why I came alone. Thankfully for me everyone in the doctors office including the doctor was very very nice to me despite the curveball I through them.
Not long after all that the professor sent an email with me cc'd in to the office of international affairs at the university, and the email said, in effect, "This student said they have a disability and can't stick to the itinerary and therefore I think they're not a good fit for this program and should go home." I immediately responded that that wasn't accurate, that I just could not sit inside a restaurant or other very cramped space, etc. Then I figured while I was at it I'd tell them about the total lack of care for my safety or wellbeing here. After sending that email the professor confronted me and tried to pretty much intimidate me into admitting everything was all my fault or something, I honestly have no clue, I think she was just upset and trying to make me feel better somehow. I think my criticism really got to her and made her kind of just hate me and that she wanted to make me make her feelings make sense. No clue honestly.
Anyway, after that the office of international affairs reached back out to me and were acting way nicer than they were when I first enrolled in this program, which felt sus, but I was haggard and miserable and wanted to be able to trust them so I did. They told me if I was considering coming home early for my own health and safety, that I could unenroll that night to make sure the alum who gave me a scholarship would at least be refunded, but that I had to do it that night since it was the last day to drop for a refund. I said I wasn't sure if I wanted to leave the program, and they said if you're considering it unenroll and if you want to stay after further discussion then we can probably just go ahead and re enroll you.
So I did it. The next day I'm scheduled to meet with someone who told me the day or so before that she would be my advocate and that she was there to listen to and represent me, and when I join the zoom meeting, it's her, but also two other people from the international affairs office. They're telling me my return flight has already been scheduled and everything and that they were sending out a person to chaperone me on the flight, because, though it was totally ignored on my flights here, I'd mentioned at the very start of the application process that I'd been a human trafficking victim before and ideally wanted to fly with someone instead of alone. All of this had less than a 24 hour turnaround from me unenrolling.
I realized hours after unenrolling that I don't want to leave the program, I just want to actually be allowed to engage in the program as it was advertised and as it was promised, and that leaving the program, to me, feels like capitulating to the professor being an asshole to me and like removing liability from the university. In short I think I pretty much got tricked into unenrolling. I told them I didn't want to leave early and they told me they already scheduled everything and got a refund for my hotel room, so if I don't take the flight back Friday, I will be homeless on the streets for 2 weeks until the flight that I personally purchased for the 31st, and that since I hit the unenroll button, my housing, health, or safety will no longer be the universities problem after Friday.
So, the fuck do I do with this, ya'll got any advice? I could really use some. Or even just some support haha.
TLDR: Got tricked into hitting unenroll button after damaging professors ego, most likely purposely tricked to absolve the university of responsibility because how the profs were treating me and everything I described probably did make me a liability even if not my fault, but I'm mad and I'm enjoying Berlin and don't want to leave or let the university get away with risking my health and safety multiple times with no apologies.

I have been making a lot of posts. I posted some “symptoms” I’ve been experiencing and some people were saying I’m at least hypomanic or maybe even heading towards full mania.
Now people say I’ve been talking a lot and I feel in a really peppy goofy mood. I slept 1.5 hours overs 2 day span but slept 8.5-9 last night because my SO was upset at my lack of sleep. Also ended up taking a 2-3 hour nap in the early evening. My libido went down a bit but now it’s ridiculously high again. It’s 4 am and I’m still awake though but I’ve dismissed it since I slept until 6:30 pm.
I sent a message to my nurse practitioner and she said since I’m feeling more stabilized (I was)that she thinks it’s fine to keep my original appointment.

I'm currently in Berlin, Germany, and about to be homeless for 2 weeks on the streets. I signed up for a study abroad program from my university, which I just graduated from last semester. I paid the application fee, got picked, paid for my own flight here and back, and then got a scholarship from an alumni couple in the department I got my degree in, and that scholarship paid for the rest of the trip.
I worked my ass off doing research and selling a bunch of my stuff to get the plane tickets because I'm pretty broke. I was excited for this trip because I was accepted into a German university for graduate school and figured I'd get a good introduction to living in Germany, and to be honest, Berlin itself has been great, all the locals I've met have been very nice to me, but my professors and everyone working from my university have been really unprofessional and tricky and now I'm in an unsafe position. **EDIT TO ADD, when I say they're trying to make me go home Friday I mean tomorrow, so I have like 1 day until I'm kicked out of the hotel.
Long explanation, skip to the bottom for a TLDR:
Before I even got on a single plane, I found out customer service for my phone carrier and I had a misunderstanding a month ago when I bought my international plan and found out about 3 days in advance that my phone would be a brick here. I told the professor immediately and she said worse case scenario she would help me get a working phone when I landed, since it's kind of needed for basic safety. Just half a day before the first flight, I got bitten by a few deer ticks and said I might also need help scheduling a doctors appointment when I land, because our travel insurance required a working phone number and it was too late for me to make an appointment before my flight. The professor said that was fine and I would be helped with that as well, so I got on the first plane in full confidence.
When I landed, a day passed without either thing being handled, and that was fine by me, but then multiple days passed and the professor kind of just waved it off. I'd started to feel a little unwell and asked the professor to help me find a doctor and she said it was just jetlag.
One of the first days of the program we went to a restaurant, and the seating was a very small reserved room with our entire 20+ cohort in it. I have CPTSD and am claustrophobic and knew immediately that I did not want to sit there, so I asked the professor if she could help me ask the staff request a seat for me in the outside dining area, or, if one wasn't available, that I could just sit outside on a nearby bench and skip dinner. She told me the room was reserved for us and this was on the itinerary so I HAD to sit there, and when I again said I didn't think I could, she demanded I sit there again and condescendingly asked me if I really couldn't or just didn't want to. I started to cry as quietly as possible and then that suddenly made her understand, so we went outside and I explained that, in my opinion, trying to force any adult to do something they're uncomfortable with and have said "No" to is bad enough to me normally, but since I have a disability, it's also ableist. I tried to frame that sentiment in a "I'm sure you didn't mean it this way" kind of way but she still took offence to the criticism and I think that led to the rest of this.
After that happened I was feeling more ill and the professor said, "Oh, do you think it's lyme? Because if it was lyme you'd have a rash. It's probably still jetlag". At this point I said again that I needed some help getting a working phone number and medical advice from a doctor and she told me to take responsibility for myself. I'd bought myself a SIM card but it needed some unexpected trouble shooting and everything was in German (I know some German but only around A2 level and absolutely none is required for this program), so I'd already tried to help myself, and again could not schedule myself an appointment without a working phone.
I asked the professor if she could put her phone number in just to let the appointment scheduling process complete and she said no. I asked if she had any other ideas and she again told me to figure it out. I wound up walking 20 minutes through Berlin alone with no working phone to a doctor's office unannounced, barely able to fill half the sign in sheet and navigate the language barrier, and successfully got the antibiotics I needed and a lyme diagnosis. The nurse even asked why I came alone. Thankfully for me everyone in the doctors office including the doctor was very very nice to me despite the curveball I through them.
Not long after all that the professor sent an email with me cc'd in to the office of international affairs at the university, and the email said, in effect, "This student said they have a disability and can't stick to the itinerary and therefore I think they're not a good fit for this program and should go home." I immediately responded that that wasn't accurate, that I just could not sit inside a restaurant or other very cramped space, etc. Then I figured while I was at it I'd tell them about the total lack of care for my safety or wellbeing here. After sending that email the professor confronted me and tried to pretty much intimidate me into admitting everything was all my fault or something, I honestly have no clue, I think she was just upset and trying to make me feel better somehow. I think my criticism really got to her and made her kind of just hate me and that she wanted to make me make her feelings make sense. No clue honestly.
Anyway, after that the office of international affairs reached back out to me and were acting way nicer than they were when I first enrolled in this program, which felt sus, but I was haggard and miserable and wanted to be able to trust them so I did. They told me if I was considering coming home early for my own health and safety, that I could unenroll that night to make sure the alum who gave me a scholarship would at least be refunded, but that I had to do it that night since it was the last day to drop for a refund. I said I wasn't sure if I wanted to leave the program, and they said if you're considering it unenroll and if you want to stay after further discussion then we can probably just go ahead and re enroll you.
So I did it. The next day I'm scheduled to meet with someone who told me the day or so before that she would be my advocate and that she was there to listen to and represent me, and when I join the zoom meeting, it's her, but also two other people from the international affairs office. They're telling me my return flight has already been scheduled and everything and that they were sending out a person to chaperone me on the flight, because, though it was totally ignored on my flights here, I'd mentioned at the very start of the application process that I'd been a human trafficking victim before and ideally wanted to fly with someone instead of alone. All of this had less than a 24 hour turnaround from me unenrolling.
I realized hours after unenrolling that I don't want to leave the program, I just want to actually be allowed to engage in the program as it was advertised and as it was promised, and that leaving the program, to me, feels like capitulating to the professor being an asshole to me and like removing liability from the university. In short I think I pretty much got tricked into unenrolling. I told them I didn't want to leave early and they told me they already scheduled everything and got a refund for my hotel room, so if I don't take the flight back Friday, I will be homeless on the streets for 2 weeks until the flight that I personally purchased for the 31st, and that since I hit the unenroll button, my housing, health, or safety will no longer be the universities problem after Friday.
So, the fuck do I do with this, ya'll got any advice? I could really use some. Or even just some support haha.
TLDR: Got tricked into hitting unenroll button after damaging professors ego, most likely purposely tricked to absolve the university of responsibility because how the profs were treating me and everything I described probably did make me a liability even if not my fault, but I'm mad and I'm enjoying Berlin and don't want to leave or let the university get away with risking my health and safety multiple times with no apologies. Currently will probably be homeless in Berlin for 2 weeks.

In homes, bathrooms are spaces that are often forgotten about despite how necessary they are to us all. But you can turn this particular room into one that is both fashionable and able to serve its purpose if you use the right things in it. There are many products designed for this purpose; they range from necessary things like soap dishes and toothbrush holders to decorative ones e.g., paintings on the wall or mirrors hung above the sink.

1. Functional Fixtures: Commence with the most fundamental part. Though basic, your faucet systems, shower heads, and towel racks still do matter to the look of your bathroom. The choices are either you select trendier finishes so that the bathroom can match up with what you have going on inside it or go back to those retro fittings.
2. Storage Solutions: The appeal of any space can be lost in a hurry due to clutter and therefore it’s best if you buy storage solutions such as floating shelves, baskets, or wall-mounted cabinets for bathroom organization and neatness; go for styles that not only match but also provide storage space for toiletries, towels, etc and so forth.
3. Luxurious Linens: Upgrade your bathroom experience with comfortable towels, shower curtains, and mats. Not only will they provide a little bit of extravagance but they will ensure that you are comfortable and have a fully serviceable room. To add a style and complement your master plan when putting up your concept try using different fabric finishes as well as shades or adornments.
4. Decorative Accents: Add personality to your bathroom using embellishments like paintings, flowers, and candles. Such slight hints could boost the atmosphere in seconds and can make your room appear more welcoming. Choose items that show your style and bring out the harmonious design in your bathroom.
5. Mirrors: While mirrors can make small bathrooms appear larger and brighter, some also serve a functional purpose while contributing to the visual appeal of your bathroom. You must select a statement mirror that complements your decor style and serves as a focal point in the space.

C Yes. In our healing practices, especially in the area known as surgery, there is a—they use, they replenish a person’s blood with that of others, and over the years I’ve been giving blood for such purposes, but of late I’ve seen material from various groups which refuse, even at the point of ceasing existence, to accept blood from another due to a passage from somewhere in the Bible instructing then not to partake of blood. Is there any harmful effect to the acceptance of blood from another? I see it as merely a giving of life from one to another. I can’t see any harm in the practice.
I am Latwii, and am aware of your question, my brother. In response, may we say this is not a simple matter, for indeed one who is approaching the limits of what you know as life and does, therefore, require what is called the transfusion of blood, such a practice might be deemed quite helpful, for indeed it is one means of prolonging the incarnation and might be the only means for many upon your planet, for their knowledge does not yet include other means.
In such cases it cannot be said to be other than helpful if each party does wish to aid in the prolonging of life which grows short. On the other hand, there are situations which mitigate against the transferring of that known as blood from one entity to another if the entities are not involved in what you call the …
[Side one of tape ends.]
(Jim channeling)
I am Latwii, and am once again with this instrument. As we were saying, there are instances which are not favorable to such a transfer of this vital fluid from one entity to another, for there are various, shall we say, patterns or parts of an entity’s pattern of being of the bodily complex which are transferred in this process that may be detrimental to another.

We speak of areas now which are little known to your peoples, and are, therefore, most likely to be somewhat confusing, but we shall continue. Each entity does through the power of mind before incarnation create the pattern of the physical vehicle which it shall inhabit. This vehicle, in each cell of its substance, does contain the complete blueprint of the entity, much as a hologram. This is true also of the fluid known as blood. The state of being of health, shall we say, to use somewhat of a misnomer, is clearly reflected in the blood and each cell of that fluid. The transfer of such vital fluid to one entity from another does then transfer the patterns of being or of health from one entity to another, these patterns having a great complexity of interrelationship from the experience of the entity who has provided the blood for transfusion.
Therefore, the one receiving such blood shall be receiving not just a simple bodily fluid, but shall be receiving the patterns of the very being of the entity who served as donor, and shall, therefore, be creating a tie between the two entities in which some of which you know of as karma, shall be shared. This appears quite insignificant when the entity is facing what you call the life and death situation, but does grow in significance as the entity does continue its incarnation and as the entity which served as donor does also continue its incarnation. It is then left to what might be called higher levels of the being of both entities to complete the balancing of the karmic patterns which have been set in motion by this transfer.

C In the case where one receives, say, a pint of blood, which is the usual unit, is the amount of the being of the donor that is received by the individual a sufficient enough amount to actually interfere with the being of the person receiving?
I am Latwii. My brother, we feel that you have correctly stated the situation. The amount is significant in that it serves as what you might call a ratio, a blending the beingness of the sources of blood, both of the donor and the one receiving the donation.
C Yes. In our bodily systems, cells are constantly being used up and replaced. After a period of time would that amount of beingness be slowly removed from the blood of the one receiving?
I am Latwii, and am aware of your question, my brother. We may say in this case, in general, that this is not correct, for the reproduction of the blood fluid is by the existing ratio of blood, and this existing ratio does then reproduce itself much as what you have called the cloning mechanism does reproduce an exact duplicate of itself. The dilution, shall we say, of the donor’s karmic patterns may occur in another manner, this being the balancing of the patterns of behavior of the one which has received the donation, and also of the one which has served as donor.
Carla Before we leave this sanguine subject, I’d like to check a couple of hunches. Is it true that the link between patterns of the entities works precisely both ways?
I am Latwii. Yes, my sister, we do recognize this to be true in our understanding of such matters.
May we answer you further?
Carla Yes. Hunch number two. Is this link the time/space portion of this very central fluid which is called blood, that is magical in nature, and is this why some of the more primitive of our tribes peoples have used blood to become blood brothers and things like this, why even as children we do things like that? Does this have a magical potential in the time/space portion of its reality?
I am Latwii, and again we find agreement with your statement, that the portion known as the time/space portion or metaphysical portion of the entity is that which is affected in what you have described as a magical nature.
C Yes, while we’re on the subject. If the pattern of beingness in each self … what of the situation as in our, in the drinking, in the partaking of blood orally as opposed to taking it into the veins directly, if ingesting the cells of another being, whether flesh or blood, do you still pick up the beingness?
I am Latwii, and am aware of your question, my brother. Again, we find that the general response can be somewhat misleading, for such an action as you have described would have far different results with different types of entities. Those most likely to accomplish such an action would be those who have begun the practice of what you might call the black magical arts and such an adept then would gain power, the power of the one whose vital fluid it consumed. An entity who had no training in these arts and rituals would simply gain those karmic ties in the time/space or metaphysical portion of your existence.
C I was just curious because in our legends of creatures such as vampires, they’re always able to remove the being and leave just a shell, more or less, though animated, no longer expressing that which it was, and I was just curious as to the source of that idea, whether there was some truth behind it.

I am Latwii, and am aware of a general query. We may respond by saying that your legends in this regard have distorted greatly the foundation of facts in such situations, but have reflected some of that which is more nearly true. The magical nature of the fluid you call blood has been reflected in such stories and legends, for indeed the entity whose blood has been removed in some degree is only a shell of the former self, the greater portion having passed to the entity consuming the blood, the greater portion of power also passing with that consuming.

Unedited source : https://assets.llresearch.org/transcripts/files/en/1982_0321.pdf

Hi everyone! My baby is 10 months old and I’m wondering for those of you with similar aged babies how much your little one eats?
I feel like maybe I’m not offering my baby enough food lately. She’s very petite (10th percentile) but drs not concerned because she was 5 weeks premature and is still showing gradual growth. However she hasn’t been eating a whole lot. I’m new to blw and we have free purees from Wic. So we do both. She was not finishing the jars but I realized she definitely preferred blw and feeding herself and would eat bettemore those days. When I spoon feed her she fights a little lol. I just am in over my head as far as what to offer her and am new to being a stay at home mom (was working up until about a month ago) so it’s hard sometimes to prep and give “real” food.
I recently got reusable baby pouches so I could at least put the purées in there and she can have some control over feeding herself and today she loved that and ate way more than usual!
I also want to say I still breastfeed but throughout the day she would only eat 1-2 jars of baby puréed fruits/veggies/meat, nurse a couple times mostly for naps, have a couple small snacks (think yogurt melts/cereal puffs) then overnight she’s waking up constantly to nurse. Today she had like 4.5 jars worth of food in the pouches as well as nursing. (Of course mix in the days of blw where she eats more but this is just an example of a worse and more typical day)
I googled and realized woah! It seems like she should be having wayy more solids. So wanted to hear a sample of what a day’s menu looks like for your little ones! Please share any tips regarding blw/meal and snack ideas etc! Especially because I plan on weaning off the breastmilk around 12 months. To be noted for any tips as of right now baby can’t have milk/dairy products possible allergy still working on diagnosis but bad reactions.

Silly question, but I’m not sure how to refer to mid-level providers in a respectful way! Folks with more clinical experience please help me out.
The ones who I’ve been introduced to have always introduced themselves to me with their first names, but I know I’ll be having more interactions with various types of medical staff and I don’t want to step on any toes by assuming they’re all okay with being on a first-name basis given the age gap (I’m younger and I want to show respect) and the competency gap (I’ll be a student which means I’m still learning and sometimes may be more annoying than helpful while they’re trying to be productive).
Hypothetical one: I’m in a clinic and meeting patients to start taking their history before the nurse practitioner comes in. After introducing myself and explaining what I’m doing there, do I tell the patient “your provider, Nurse LastName, will be joining us in a moment” or is it better to refer to them as Mr./Ms./Mx./etc LastName and avoid calling them ‘nurse’ while still specifying that they will be the provider for the encounter so their role is clear?
I would call a doctor (physician with MD/DO, or an academic PhD) Dr. LastName, and I would call a registered nurse Nurse LastName, unless the person told me they have other preferences, but what about an NP? I don’t know if they want to be called ‘nurse’ because they are a type of nurse, or if they want to be distinguished from different types of nurses by calling them something else (not sure what else I would say!)
Hypothetical two: I was told some bit of information by a physician’s assistant and now I’m verbally passing it on to the resident I’m working with. Do I say “Mr./Ms./Mx./etc LastName wanted to speak with you about a patient in room two?” What do you call a physician’s assistant? Do they have titles or honorifics that are equivalent to ‘doctor’ or ‘nurse’ that are specific for their profession?
I feel like I should know the answer to this so I’m too embarrassed to ask an actual nurse practitioner or physician’s assistant what they’re supposed to be called (ie what to default to for people in that position) outside of situations when you’ve interacted with them enough to know what they personally prefer as individuals.
I haven’t had to figure it out before (helps that my premed shadowing was only with MDs so I didn’t have a lot of interaction with mid-levels) but now that I’ll be starting med school I don’t wanna make a bad impression! I know I’m probably overthinking it, but what is the best way to handle this piece of etiquette? please helppp 😩