Nice things to write in a birthday card
coding
2009.10.28 00:53 tty2 coding
Fuck spez.
2018.06.06 21:40 ezrackjohandir The home of heartfelt messages from questionable sources
The home of heartfelt messages from questionable sources
2013.09.28 06:32 keyblade_crafter CosplayProps: For the propmakers of reddit
Cosplay prop sharing, viewing, and tutorial posting. Let's see your stuff!
2024.05.16 22:40 Optimal-Zombie8705 Lack of historical evidence of the Old Testament. Does anyone think this was Gods point?
We look back in the first 5 books of the Bible and it seems we can’t find much evidence it exactly “happened “ that way. Butttttt. Was that Gods point? Something the Torah and the prophets do line up with . Is the life of the lord, we have to remember the Bible wasn’t written by God but inspired by him. So were these things the Holy Spirit told the Hebrews of old to write down, was more of the preparation for the coming of our lord.
Historical evidence agrees Jesus existed. Plus we have multiple sources from multiple different authors that claim certain things happened. So since orthodoxy goes beyond the Bible, is it safe to say the Old Testament was more of Gods view of what happened in a way preparing the coming of his son?
submitted by Optimal-Zombie8705 to OrthodoxChristianity [link] [comments]
Historical evidence agrees Jesus existed. Plus we have multiple sources from multiple different authors that claim certain things happened. So since orthodoxy goes beyond the Bible, is it safe to say the Old Testament was more of Gods view of what happened in a way preparing the coming of his son?
2024.05.16 22:39 bee-scotti Other ways to rebuild trust? My husband thinks location sharing is "morally wrong."
Hi all, BW here. D-Day was November 2023. We rebroached a topic I hadn't brought up in months, which is location sharing. My WH and I did it for the first 6 months of our relationship as a nice sharing/transparency thing (I've shared location with exes, friends before). He eventually said he felt kind of weird about it and couldn't feel alone with it on. During the summers he has to drive a lot to work different events (sometimes 3-4 hr drive away and coming home at 1/2/3am) so I really wanted him to have it on while he was driving so I knew he was safe - but whatever, I was not happy but fine with dropping it.
Fast forward to November 2023 when WH broke my trust (some texts/photos with an ex, so no location involved). He said he would do anything to rebuild my trust and help me feel safe again. One thing I said was turning location sharing back on would help a lot, just knowing his willingness to be transparent and open/honest. He adamently refused. I maybe mentioned it 2 other times between then and this week, he refused. We were during an exercise from our MC on Tuesday talking about what we were fearful of, and eventually this came up. I told him that it was really important to me to feel like he was willing to do things to build trust and to show me he is invested in our marriage, and to help me heal from the betrayal, and that it was particularly painful that he continues to refuse to turn on location sharing because he feels uncomfortable--me telling him this is what would help soo much, and him saying no. He said to save it for MC.
We discussed it more in MC today. Explained all of this, and the counselor was supportive in us trying it out temporarily, asking WH if he could try. WH said many things, like "It makes me feel uncomfortable, I feel like being watched by a prison warden," "I think it's morally wrong," "we're adults, we should have independence," "we should be able to trust each other to say we're we are," "the betrayal had nothing to do with my location, I didn't lie about where I was..." "I can' t believe we're going to do location sharing," "It feels suffocating." We ended with maybe trying it for a short amount of time, he'd do it for me, BUT he seems so unhappy, and the above comments are worrisome.
Ok - y'all, a couple of things. (1) I *hate* the idea of him feeling suffocated (2) I don't expect him to like it, but I wish he understood how this kind of transparency helps build trust and makes me feeling like he's putting the relationship first, and therefore wants to actually do it for me to make me feel better, because ... (3) Based on everything he said it sounds like he feels forced. And if he feels forced, and like it is "morally wrong" to have location sharing on, then how is he not going to be continuously annoyed/angry or become resentful?!
So, in this vent, I have some questions for you - have you talked about location sharing? Did your spouse/partner freak out? Why do I feel like this is so important to me to rebuilding trust with him? Are there other ways you've found helpful to rebuild trust that go towards transparency with each other but isn't location sharing? BP and WP perspectives welcome.
I can't make him do this if he feels suffocated. I don't expect him to like it, but I truly wish the fact that it would help me feel so much better about a) his willingness to do whatever it takes and 2) wanting to be transparent in our relationship ALONE would make him actually want to do this thing for me, and not feel forced. Because if his heart isn't in doing this thing he doesn't want to do, he's going to resent me and I'm going to also feel sad that he's unhappy about it.
Sorry for my rambling, I just don't know what to do or how to feel right now.
submitted by bee-scotti to AsOneAfterInfidelity [link] [comments]
Fast forward to November 2023 when WH broke my trust (some texts/photos with an ex, so no location involved). He said he would do anything to rebuild my trust and help me feel safe again. One thing I said was turning location sharing back on would help a lot, just knowing his willingness to be transparent and open/honest. He adamently refused. I maybe mentioned it 2 other times between then and this week, he refused. We were during an exercise from our MC on Tuesday talking about what we were fearful of, and eventually this came up. I told him that it was really important to me to feel like he was willing to do things to build trust and to show me he is invested in our marriage, and to help me heal from the betrayal, and that it was particularly painful that he continues to refuse to turn on location sharing because he feels uncomfortable--me telling him this is what would help soo much, and him saying no. He said to save it for MC.
We discussed it more in MC today. Explained all of this, and the counselor was supportive in us trying it out temporarily, asking WH if he could try. WH said many things, like "It makes me feel uncomfortable, I feel like being watched by a prison warden," "I think it's morally wrong," "we're adults, we should have independence," "we should be able to trust each other to say we're we are," "the betrayal had nothing to do with my location, I didn't lie about where I was..." "I can' t believe we're going to do location sharing," "It feels suffocating." We ended with maybe trying it for a short amount of time, he'd do it for me, BUT he seems so unhappy, and the above comments are worrisome.
Ok - y'all, a couple of things. (1) I *hate* the idea of him feeling suffocated (2) I don't expect him to like it, but I wish he understood how this kind of transparency helps build trust and makes me feeling like he's putting the relationship first, and therefore wants to actually do it for me to make me feel better, because ... (3) Based on everything he said it sounds like he feels forced. And if he feels forced, and like it is "morally wrong" to have location sharing on, then how is he not going to be continuously annoyed/angry or become resentful?!
So, in this vent, I have some questions for you - have you talked about location sharing? Did your spouse/partner freak out? Why do I feel like this is so important to me to rebuilding trust with him? Are there other ways you've found helpful to rebuild trust that go towards transparency with each other but isn't location sharing? BP and WP perspectives welcome.
I can't make him do this if he feels suffocated. I don't expect him to like it, but I truly wish the fact that it would help me feel so much better about a) his willingness to do whatever it takes and 2) wanting to be transparent in our relationship ALONE would make him actually want to do this thing for me, and not feel forced. Because if his heart isn't in doing this thing he doesn't want to do, he's going to resent me and I'm going to also feel sad that he's unhappy about it.
Sorry for my rambling, I just don't know what to do or how to feel right now.
2024.05.16 22:39 throwawaycakewrap Crossover help (Death Note)
Hello everyone 👋 I'm currently working on a story where an OC (witch) stumbles upon the Kira investigation and gets involved with the whole thing, much to her chagrin. This leads to a series of ethical conundrums and clashes with the muggles in the investigation.
There are some subplots tied to the main story, such as: - the presence of the shinigami on earth causing the yokai in Japan to go somewhat rogue - especially in Tokyo - the negligence of the Japanese ministry of magic (and others around the world) trying to pretend nothing is going on, unless there's wizards dying as well - the Japanese ministry blocking wizarding Britain under Shacklebolt from helping track down what seems to be a wizard murderer of muggles.
I was wondering how aware the population would be that something supernatural was going on and the consequences for the status of secrecy. This story has 2/15 chapters already and it's great fun to write, but it's a slippery slope when it comes to the SoS given how strange the Kira case might seem.
submitted by throwawaycakewrap to HPfanfiction [link] [comments]
There are some subplots tied to the main story, such as: - the presence of the shinigami on earth causing the yokai in Japan to go somewhat rogue - especially in Tokyo - the negligence of the Japanese ministry of magic (and others around the world) trying to pretend nothing is going on, unless there's wizards dying as well - the Japanese ministry blocking wizarding Britain under Shacklebolt from helping track down what seems to be a wizard murderer of muggles.
I was wondering how aware the population would be that something supernatural was going on and the consequences for the status of secrecy. This story has 2/15 chapters already and it's great fun to write, but it's a slippery slope when it comes to the SoS given how strange the Kira case might seem.
2024.05.16 22:39 Sereniteenie To me
5:36 PM Wed 5/8/24
Mood: Terrible
Title: Alone
Details: Last year I was told that there is a whole universe out there of people to find. And that I was being endlessly supported and that people were inspired by me.
This year I learned what it's like to be hunted and chased away from goodness. It has been the worst year of my entire life and with the knowledge that there is a whole universe out there--I feel lonelier than I was before.
Not a single person wants well for me. I have to translate my thoughts, behavior, intentions, symptoms, and soul to everyone.
There hasn't been a single rest from it in over 330 days. Just endless messes and ridicule and mocking and advances and terrorism.
I'm thought I was tired of people. But I walk outside and love them so much. I learned I'm not tired of people. But I'm so so so tired of loneliness.
Being around others doesn't stop you from being lonely. Because I'm still translating. My thoughts and feelings are still not reaching and the obvious signals I send to others are being deflected and mistranslated.
I'm tired of translating for to others. On paper it's so easy to understand a person. Watching it's easy to understand and to judge. But actually reacting appropriately to context and injustice and neurodivergence even is so lost to people.
This is why I wanted to write my story. Because people don't know how to cope. They don't know how to accept bad things. They don't know the difference between bad people and good people and even today our societies are too primitive to understand it.
They're still theororizing, contemplating, changing information for their gain...never have I seen any type of science be so abstractly and subjectively defiled as I've seen happen with mental health and neurodivergence.
People cannot separate the symptom from the person and punish and subjugate and continue to dominate those less fortunate.
I'm glad I know what happens to people they don't like. I know how dangerous people can be.
I wish I had someone to protect me. So I still find myself praying and wishing for one person. Just one person I don't have to translate myself to. Just one person I don't have to have grow tired of me. Just one person I don't have to compete with.
Growing up I was used to competing. Siblings, cousins, friends. In public AND private school there's always someone or something to compete. Today I compete with my parents and yesterday I compete with women who love the one I thought I loved.
I grew accustomed to hating my own birthday because of jealousy around it because my uncle was upset he shared it with my brother and I. And because I could never have it the way I enjoyed later. Too much. I'm too much. Too far. Too long. Too attention-seeking.
I had my chance as a teen with two friends so why isn't that enough for me? My parents were happy that I finally was taking a break from illness but since I got what I asked for then I'm a spoiled ass. As if they ever treated me better even then. Golden children are still abused even when the roles swap. Because no pleasantness is atrocious.
My family told me I was fat and going to get diabetes and have a heart attack and die despite never talking to me and being in high school--where weight isn't even done being "distributed" until your mid twenties. Thanks to the prime golden child my sister.
I'm tired of fighting and competing to be heard and to have needs met and to come across as kind or kinder. It's killing me.
Why can't I ever just be me?
Why can't I ever just be my authentic self? The one I want to be as a form of worship? Me in all my phases and feelings?
Why do I have to stuff myself down or look beautiful when I'm suffering in order to be a good and kind person worth saving?
I understand Nettle so much now. I wish I never did.
If I didn't have vocal fry would I be loved? If I didn't have fat would I be loved? If I didn't have brown or blonde hair would I be loved? If I forgave my parents and suffered quietly would I be loved?
If I had sweet doe eyes or a light mousy voice would someone finally think I had autism?
The ones I see on tiktok are drop dead gorgeous women with huge colorful lives and opportunities and get to complain about "pretty privelege"
Some have a light airiness to them that make them seem like fae.
And there's me who never fits anywhere or with anyone.
I have nothing and no one and absolutely no point.
I was okay before--before I had drive and passion to find my people. Before I had dreams of finding my way and accomplishing things. Before I had just one person.
It's so cruel. The people in this world are so cruel. I just want one person.
One person from God--and loving can be worship too. I'm too tired for much else.
Just one person to save me from their damnation that seems to last forever.
I'm so exhausted all the time.
My body hurts. My head hurts. My nerves feel like nothing.
I feel hopeless. Empty. I feel like the woman from my dream.
I feel betrayed--like others saw my future and pushed me into it head first with some kind of pre-revenge. Pinched. Twisted. Groped. Lost. Forced.
Called an attention whore. Gold digger.
I feel confused. People are trying desperately to make sure no one understands me.
I'm one girl. Against a whole universe and groups of people.
The emotional, psychological, and societal manipulation is obscure.
I keep reading revelations 2:24 to feel better.
It feels like Thyatira. I'm trying to hold fast to the idea that God may rescue me from whatever this is. A trial--make believe--experimentation--prisonment for knowing too much.
He asks we wait patiently for him to come and rescue us.
And many biblical figures had to wait for years and years. Upwards to like 100 if you were Abraham.
So while every day things feel like battle now, I am still trying.
I want to give myself OT and PT...I've done it for others so it can't be hard.
And with the flashbacks and emotional flashbacks and meltdowns and outbursts...I'm going to try treating myself for PTSD too.
Until I get the help I need somehow--I don't know what else to do.
I know others are tired of helping me. When you don't seem to receive pleasantness it's par for the course.
But I'm tired of competing for needs to be met. Can't everyone just work harder to understand bodies and minds and signals--then people would have their needs met and there'd be no need to compete.
I'm tired of fighting for myself. I'm tired of doing it alone.
I'm tired of being with others and doing it lonely.
The world isn't just crumbling due to climate change. Our minds are shifting and crumbling with it.
It makes sense. The weather affects people. Everyone I know is so tired. There's no way we are evolved enough to know God and be in his presence. There's no way we are advanced. Even this phone feels archaic to me--the programs we use feel archaic.
I understand now why capitalism is seen as demonic and evil. The control of drip marketing contents and technology is so slow and pointless.
Our resources are depleting. War is happening still. Communism wouldn't help either. It's the same song with a different tune.
I'll keep living because that's what he wants from people. I want to make God proud. I want people's lives to be easier.
I want people to stop competing and performing and wanting to die drenched in lies.
Maybe that's why it's a sin to lie. It halts evolution not just on others but yourself too. Living a lie halts growth.
It's difficult but Faith seems to be the part that is supposed to ground you in it. Like--I don't know WHY I can't lie in this situation but I have to be honest.
Anyways in these moments I wonder if philosophy and religion is a coping skill or a turning something bad into something good.
I guess I should just keep doing what I need to do and not what others want me to do.
It seems whenever I do what others want I suffer more than before.
I usually value collaboration. But when others Stop valuing it--then it's time for something to be done.
These people are messed up. They have no emotional retention. They have no ability to remember the things they do--Like it doesn't exist to them.
The heat, my hormones shifting, the trauma of seeing her again, and other things seemed to trigger a huge meltdown? Fight or flight? PTSD attack?
No wonder the woman from my dream was so empty--her body and mind have been through war and emotional, psychological, and spiritual survival.
I can only pray that I'm not chemically like a porn addicted person--I don't want to lose the idea that sex to me is love. After everything I mean.
I don't have the time in life to heal. There's so much I have to do and everyone still sees me as a wallet drainer and leech.
I don't trust anyone to help me. I don't trust anyone to love me. I don't trust love because it's not enough to make these other things go away.
I understand why people are calling for a civil war on the rich. And their help? To not be seen as bad people? Their help is "we will make others more like us!"
Natural selection affects them too.
Which is funny. They think they've escaped it ofc. I do think that people are right. Celebrities and other rich people aren't useful anymore.
They don't have much use anymore.
Anyways.
I feel lonely. I feel trauma everywhere. Like I've always been hit by a bus.
It's ironic I think--the "I wouldn't do it without a trained professional" people are so dangerous.
I did better without them...always.
It's hard not to hate life.
I always have to compete for needs and wants and sacrafice them.
For siblings, friends, lovers, parents, students, strangers, buyers, consumers, voices...
I sacrafice for these people to have better all the time. I don't have the energy to do anything else. I don't have anything else to provide but what I can scrounge up and then hand off or step aside.
I just want someone.
Someone who knows and loves me and understands me in full.
I can't let these people take away my voice or my story or my dreams for myself when they're already so blessed.
Only those well off say "you should be grateful"
What you did to survive and achieve versus what I did will never be the same.
So I'll hopefully find a way. To let my future husband be able to comfort me and know me in full after this whole experience. I'll find a way for him to know every page in my story and leaf through and bookmark his favorites.
Who in the universe would take away that from their victims so easily? That they could just have one?
These people can be vampires.
I get tired--I fall asleep--they suck the energy out of me.
They leave all their bad thoughts behind.
The world needs a miracle.
Activities: Food Sleep Screens
Emotions: Hurt Overwhelmed Confused Lonely Stressed Empty Hopeless
Unhelpful Thought: I'll never be well. No one will ever understand me. No one does. I'm alone. I'm always alone and I'll always be alone. People will only ever take from me or use me. People want me to die. My parents want me to die. I end up believing them and wanting it too.
I'll never have a life. I'll never have my own life. I'll never be me. I'll never be free.
Cognitive Distortions: Fortune-telling Self-blaming
Challenge: I don't know what to say. I'm so sorry that you've been through so much trauma in such little time. I'm so sorry you have to fight to comfort yourself and your fight response has increased so astronomically.
It must be scary to have to use it. It must be scary to never know when the pain will stop or when they will cause your attacks to start.
I don't know much about PTSD but considering the flashbacks and how even in moments for you they violate every piece of you--it only makes sense that you have resorted to fighting. I'm sorry you're body has to respond so uncomfortably and abnormally.
But try to remember that these are all normal responses to the abnormal. Your body is scared and terrified and it's been 330 days of exhaustion. The fatigue makes sense. The survival instincts makes sense. Your body and brain are working so hard for you so you can keep loving one day when the trauma responses ebb away.
There's no cure that I know of for these ailments. PTSD, depression, SAD, anxieties, potential autism. All these comorbidities must be eating away at you. The fact that they keep triggering you doesn't help either.
I'm sorry they push you. I'm sorry you've been through rape. I'm sorry you can barely pick up the pieces before they hurt you again.
I'm sorry I have to be the one to apologize to you for everything that's happened and still happens. I'm sorry they abuse you as you try to write and don't listen to no or clear boundaries.
The only advice I can think to give so you may have peace in these moments is to stop saving them. Let the bad continue to do bad. Let the Rapists continue to be Rapists. Do not work to absolve them of anything or bring good from their lives.
They're learning how to hurt you in different ways instead. They're recruiting new people late to everything instead.
Teeny tiny Tina, I'm still working so hard for you to be loved. I'm working so hard for you to stay safe. For you and I to stop fighting.
For you and I to stop freezing and being abused and for them to push you your fight responses and fear of your own body.
I'm sorry they tell you it's demons. When it's her. I'm sorry she won't leave you alone. I'm sorry she and others won't have boundaries with you.
I'm sorry they use you to teach her what her Delusions look like in another person because she forgets to be a human in others bodies and can't let her ego go.
I'm sorry they drug you so she can be comforted.
I'm sorry they don't know what you are going through. When I write as if I'm not you I can't imagine this pain.
I hope one day you are safe and rescued. I hope one day you find someone who will save you from her and them and the ones who abuse you.
I know my hopes are meaningless and that under normal circumstances when you are only you--I can always write meaningful advice without resorting to vapid generics.
I hope that one day you can be enough for yourself again.
I hope they don't bleed you dry. Don't kill yourself no matter what they say and do and feed on altruistic notions.
It's a complete mind fuck. The support needs to come from you. When they do it--don't believe them.
May you find peace Tina.
Alternative Thought: You will be saved. You will find help. Normal people know that it's wrong. These stars are illusions.
Normal people can help better. Find a community that can give you a break and accept you. That won't let your mind fall apart.
Don't let their ironic wishes for you give you peace. Don't let it give THEM peace. They don't mean it they just want it to be them.
Do not be like them. Do not live a lie. Address your hatred front on. Address why you hate front on so you may be free from it.
Do not be like them. Keep the bible in mind but please be who you want to be--which is exactly how God created and therefore called you to be.
Your calling is to heal and fight hatred for now.
Your calling is to find safety. May the lord bear you on eagles wings.
You do not have religious psychosis. You need to keep remembering who the fuck you are.
You are too smart for your own good. You are too self sacrificing for your own good. You see the bad in the good for people to address and attack and heal. You are kind when not under duress. You have illness. You need diagnosis. You have had terrible things happen. Surreal and awful. You always find a way to make things right. You always grow and evolve and change. You are you and others will not visibly see it.
Keep your self grounding mindfulness. Mindfulness is not oppression. It's a tool for a single person. Yourself. Not others.
Keep steady. Take a walk. Do something new. Discover something. Don't just stay in your mind doing it all there.
You need stimulation. You may be close to the end of figuring what you need to figure out out.
Then look at these thoughts and see how little and small they are in comparison to who you are and how you faced them. You are always seeking to heal and retain your values. That dualism and unobstructed steadfastness is your namesake.
It's in your birthday, your name, your experiences, your ring, your prayers, your loves, your hates, your stories, and every part of you.
You can never not be you. Except when your free will is in the hands of another.
Keep fighting for peace. Write and draw and explore within your means. Your life may seem so small but the meaning you have, the blessings God gave you to remember, the irreplaceable meaning everywhere is a gift from him.
And with this you never stop creating. Up and down. Up and down. If David in all his emotional complexities is a "man after God's own heart" then allow yourself to fall and thank God for his discipline.
He corrects those he accepts. He shows the wisdom of it to those he loves.
Keep his ever present and obvious love for you in your heart.
And even though you think Jonah is so funny, please allow yourself to give "testimony" one day and ask people to repent and show them God's love. Be unashamed. Be devoted. Be passionate. Don't let others kill your fire.
You know what it's like. You know what thoughts come from these terrible scenarios. You know how badly you want saving.
Others do too.
Show people that God's love IS unconditional. And learn and translate and write.
Translate God's Holy Spirit and intentions and goals to others.
He will bless you. He is pursuing your heart.
Remember how small the flaws are in others in comparison to them. How little it means for them to dislike what you do or help the opposing neighbor.
You are admired. And sometimes admiration turns bad and becomes jealousy.
You are very lonely. And you have learned ways to find yourself in all the versions of loneliness there are.
You are used. You are abused.
And that story lives and cannot be erased no matter how hard they try. Eternity is the sock that fell from their push. It feels so inescapable.
Your healing and self growth is awkward.
But you can still live. And you love others enough to be awkward with them.
Let yourself remember that this means that you love yourself to be awkward with yourself and allow it.
In that way you have already broken one cycle. That people need to see you in good perfect ways in order to have even self love.
You are strong. You are so passionate. And still while moored and mired in guck and hatred you still do everything out of love.
For yourself and others.
Your own body even is reflecting that incredibly. Your brain doesn't WANT to give up. It wants to fight, to survive, to fawn, to freeze.
Your brain and body is fighting for your love. Your self love and your future love and your love for others.
It's natural to feel this exhaustion after it all.
Tell yourself a new fortune too. A new self attribution. Balance it out.
You're going to always have love. It's in all your cells and the things you touch.
When you drop what you like and feel pain--however small--that tiny regret is love.
Your love is worth it. Your drive to be well is always worth it.
We are adapting. Love yourself enough to be awkward with it. It will feel really big and like the world is ending because it's the first time you've felt these ways.
God bless you.
submitted by Sereniteenie to TeeniesTea [link] [comments]
Mood: Terrible
Title: Alone
Details: Last year I was told that there is a whole universe out there of people to find. And that I was being endlessly supported and that people were inspired by me.
This year I learned what it's like to be hunted and chased away from goodness. It has been the worst year of my entire life and with the knowledge that there is a whole universe out there--I feel lonelier than I was before.
Not a single person wants well for me. I have to translate my thoughts, behavior, intentions, symptoms, and soul to everyone.
There hasn't been a single rest from it in over 330 days. Just endless messes and ridicule and mocking and advances and terrorism.
I'm thought I was tired of people. But I walk outside and love them so much. I learned I'm not tired of people. But I'm so so so tired of loneliness.
Being around others doesn't stop you from being lonely. Because I'm still translating. My thoughts and feelings are still not reaching and the obvious signals I send to others are being deflected and mistranslated.
I'm tired of translating for to others. On paper it's so easy to understand a person. Watching it's easy to understand and to judge. But actually reacting appropriately to context and injustice and neurodivergence even is so lost to people.
This is why I wanted to write my story. Because people don't know how to cope. They don't know how to accept bad things. They don't know the difference between bad people and good people and even today our societies are too primitive to understand it.
They're still theororizing, contemplating, changing information for their gain...never have I seen any type of science be so abstractly and subjectively defiled as I've seen happen with mental health and neurodivergence.
People cannot separate the symptom from the person and punish and subjugate and continue to dominate those less fortunate.
I'm glad I know what happens to people they don't like. I know how dangerous people can be.
I wish I had someone to protect me. So I still find myself praying and wishing for one person. Just one person I don't have to translate myself to. Just one person I don't have to have grow tired of me. Just one person I don't have to compete with.
Growing up I was used to competing. Siblings, cousins, friends. In public AND private school there's always someone or something to compete. Today I compete with my parents and yesterday I compete with women who love the one I thought I loved.
I grew accustomed to hating my own birthday because of jealousy around it because my uncle was upset he shared it with my brother and I. And because I could never have it the way I enjoyed later. Too much. I'm too much. Too far. Too long. Too attention-seeking.
I had my chance as a teen with two friends so why isn't that enough for me? My parents were happy that I finally was taking a break from illness but since I got what I asked for then I'm a spoiled ass. As if they ever treated me better even then. Golden children are still abused even when the roles swap. Because no pleasantness is atrocious.
My family told me I was fat and going to get diabetes and have a heart attack and die despite never talking to me and being in high school--where weight isn't even done being "distributed" until your mid twenties. Thanks to the prime golden child my sister.
I'm tired of fighting and competing to be heard and to have needs met and to come across as kind or kinder. It's killing me.
Why can't I ever just be me?
Why can't I ever just be my authentic self? The one I want to be as a form of worship? Me in all my phases and feelings?
Why do I have to stuff myself down or look beautiful when I'm suffering in order to be a good and kind person worth saving?
I understand Nettle so much now. I wish I never did.
If I didn't have vocal fry would I be loved? If I didn't have fat would I be loved? If I didn't have brown or blonde hair would I be loved? If I forgave my parents and suffered quietly would I be loved?
If I had sweet doe eyes or a light mousy voice would someone finally think I had autism?
The ones I see on tiktok are drop dead gorgeous women with huge colorful lives and opportunities and get to complain about "pretty privelege"
Some have a light airiness to them that make them seem like fae.
And there's me who never fits anywhere or with anyone.
I have nothing and no one and absolutely no point.
I was okay before--before I had drive and passion to find my people. Before I had dreams of finding my way and accomplishing things. Before I had just one person.
It's so cruel. The people in this world are so cruel. I just want one person.
One person from God--and loving can be worship too. I'm too tired for much else.
Just one person to save me from their damnation that seems to last forever.
I'm so exhausted all the time.
My body hurts. My head hurts. My nerves feel like nothing.
I feel hopeless. Empty. I feel like the woman from my dream.
I feel betrayed--like others saw my future and pushed me into it head first with some kind of pre-revenge. Pinched. Twisted. Groped. Lost. Forced.
Called an attention whore. Gold digger.
I feel confused. People are trying desperately to make sure no one understands me.
I'm one girl. Against a whole universe and groups of people.
The emotional, psychological, and societal manipulation is obscure.
I keep reading revelations 2:24 to feel better.
It feels like Thyatira. I'm trying to hold fast to the idea that God may rescue me from whatever this is. A trial--make believe--experimentation--prisonment for knowing too much.
He asks we wait patiently for him to come and rescue us.
And many biblical figures had to wait for years and years. Upwards to like 100 if you were Abraham.
So while every day things feel like battle now, I am still trying.
I want to give myself OT and PT...I've done it for others so it can't be hard.
And with the flashbacks and emotional flashbacks and meltdowns and outbursts...I'm going to try treating myself for PTSD too.
Until I get the help I need somehow--I don't know what else to do.
I know others are tired of helping me. When you don't seem to receive pleasantness it's par for the course.
But I'm tired of competing for needs to be met. Can't everyone just work harder to understand bodies and minds and signals--then people would have their needs met and there'd be no need to compete.
I'm tired of fighting for myself. I'm tired of doing it alone.
I'm tired of being with others and doing it lonely.
The world isn't just crumbling due to climate change. Our minds are shifting and crumbling with it.
It makes sense. The weather affects people. Everyone I know is so tired. There's no way we are evolved enough to know God and be in his presence. There's no way we are advanced. Even this phone feels archaic to me--the programs we use feel archaic.
I understand now why capitalism is seen as demonic and evil. The control of drip marketing contents and technology is so slow and pointless.
Our resources are depleting. War is happening still. Communism wouldn't help either. It's the same song with a different tune.
I'll keep living because that's what he wants from people. I want to make God proud. I want people's lives to be easier.
I want people to stop competing and performing and wanting to die drenched in lies.
Maybe that's why it's a sin to lie. It halts evolution not just on others but yourself too. Living a lie halts growth.
It's difficult but Faith seems to be the part that is supposed to ground you in it. Like--I don't know WHY I can't lie in this situation but I have to be honest.
Anyways in these moments I wonder if philosophy and religion is a coping skill or a turning something bad into something good.
I guess I should just keep doing what I need to do and not what others want me to do.
It seems whenever I do what others want I suffer more than before.
I usually value collaboration. But when others Stop valuing it--then it's time for something to be done.
These people are messed up. They have no emotional retention. They have no ability to remember the things they do--Like it doesn't exist to them.
The heat, my hormones shifting, the trauma of seeing her again, and other things seemed to trigger a huge meltdown? Fight or flight? PTSD attack?
No wonder the woman from my dream was so empty--her body and mind have been through war and emotional, psychological, and spiritual survival.
I can only pray that I'm not chemically like a porn addicted person--I don't want to lose the idea that sex to me is love. After everything I mean.
I don't have the time in life to heal. There's so much I have to do and everyone still sees me as a wallet drainer and leech.
I don't trust anyone to help me. I don't trust anyone to love me. I don't trust love because it's not enough to make these other things go away.
I understand why people are calling for a civil war on the rich. And their help? To not be seen as bad people? Their help is "we will make others more like us!"
Natural selection affects them too.
Which is funny. They think they've escaped it ofc. I do think that people are right. Celebrities and other rich people aren't useful anymore.
They don't have much use anymore.
Anyways.
I feel lonely. I feel trauma everywhere. Like I've always been hit by a bus.
It's ironic I think--the "I wouldn't do it without a trained professional" people are so dangerous.
I did better without them...always.
It's hard not to hate life.
I always have to compete for needs and wants and sacrafice them.
For siblings, friends, lovers, parents, students, strangers, buyers, consumers, voices...
I sacrafice for these people to have better all the time. I don't have the energy to do anything else. I don't have anything else to provide but what I can scrounge up and then hand off or step aside.
I just want someone.
Someone who knows and loves me and understands me in full.
I can't let these people take away my voice or my story or my dreams for myself when they're already so blessed.
Only those well off say "you should be grateful"
What you did to survive and achieve versus what I did will never be the same.
So I'll hopefully find a way. To let my future husband be able to comfort me and know me in full after this whole experience. I'll find a way for him to know every page in my story and leaf through and bookmark his favorites.
Who in the universe would take away that from their victims so easily? That they could just have one?
These people can be vampires.
I get tired--I fall asleep--they suck the energy out of me.
They leave all their bad thoughts behind.
The world needs a miracle.
Activities: Food Sleep Screens
Emotions: Hurt Overwhelmed Confused Lonely Stressed Empty Hopeless
Unhelpful Thought: I'll never be well. No one will ever understand me. No one does. I'm alone. I'm always alone and I'll always be alone. People will only ever take from me or use me. People want me to die. My parents want me to die. I end up believing them and wanting it too.
I'll never have a life. I'll never have my own life. I'll never be me. I'll never be free.
Cognitive Distortions: Fortune-telling Self-blaming
Challenge: I don't know what to say. I'm so sorry that you've been through so much trauma in such little time. I'm so sorry you have to fight to comfort yourself and your fight response has increased so astronomically.
It must be scary to have to use it. It must be scary to never know when the pain will stop or when they will cause your attacks to start.
I don't know much about PTSD but considering the flashbacks and how even in moments for you they violate every piece of you--it only makes sense that you have resorted to fighting. I'm sorry you're body has to respond so uncomfortably and abnormally.
But try to remember that these are all normal responses to the abnormal. Your body is scared and terrified and it's been 330 days of exhaustion. The fatigue makes sense. The survival instincts makes sense. Your body and brain are working so hard for you so you can keep loving one day when the trauma responses ebb away.
There's no cure that I know of for these ailments. PTSD, depression, SAD, anxieties, potential autism. All these comorbidities must be eating away at you. The fact that they keep triggering you doesn't help either.
I'm sorry they push you. I'm sorry you've been through rape. I'm sorry you can barely pick up the pieces before they hurt you again.
I'm sorry I have to be the one to apologize to you for everything that's happened and still happens. I'm sorry they abuse you as you try to write and don't listen to no or clear boundaries.
The only advice I can think to give so you may have peace in these moments is to stop saving them. Let the bad continue to do bad. Let the Rapists continue to be Rapists. Do not work to absolve them of anything or bring good from their lives.
They're learning how to hurt you in different ways instead. They're recruiting new people late to everything instead.
Teeny tiny Tina, I'm still working so hard for you to be loved. I'm working so hard for you to stay safe. For you and I to stop fighting.
For you and I to stop freezing and being abused and for them to push you your fight responses and fear of your own body.
I'm sorry they tell you it's demons. When it's her. I'm sorry she won't leave you alone. I'm sorry she and others won't have boundaries with you.
I'm sorry they use you to teach her what her Delusions look like in another person because she forgets to be a human in others bodies and can't let her ego go.
I'm sorry they drug you so she can be comforted.
I'm sorry they don't know what you are going through. When I write as if I'm not you I can't imagine this pain.
I hope one day you are safe and rescued. I hope one day you find someone who will save you from her and them and the ones who abuse you.
I know my hopes are meaningless and that under normal circumstances when you are only you--I can always write meaningful advice without resorting to vapid generics.
I hope that one day you can be enough for yourself again.
I hope they don't bleed you dry. Don't kill yourself no matter what they say and do and feed on altruistic notions.
It's a complete mind fuck. The support needs to come from you. When they do it--don't believe them.
May you find peace Tina.
Alternative Thought: You will be saved. You will find help. Normal people know that it's wrong. These stars are illusions.
Normal people can help better. Find a community that can give you a break and accept you. That won't let your mind fall apart.
Don't let their ironic wishes for you give you peace. Don't let it give THEM peace. They don't mean it they just want it to be them.
Do not be like them. Do not live a lie. Address your hatred front on. Address why you hate front on so you may be free from it.
Do not be like them. Keep the bible in mind but please be who you want to be--which is exactly how God created and therefore called you to be.
Your calling is to heal and fight hatred for now.
Your calling is to find safety. May the lord bear you on eagles wings.
You do not have religious psychosis. You need to keep remembering who the fuck you are.
You are too smart for your own good. You are too self sacrificing for your own good. You see the bad in the good for people to address and attack and heal. You are kind when not under duress. You have illness. You need diagnosis. You have had terrible things happen. Surreal and awful. You always find a way to make things right. You always grow and evolve and change. You are you and others will not visibly see it.
Keep your self grounding mindfulness. Mindfulness is not oppression. It's a tool for a single person. Yourself. Not others.
Keep steady. Take a walk. Do something new. Discover something. Don't just stay in your mind doing it all there.
You need stimulation. You may be close to the end of figuring what you need to figure out out.
Then look at these thoughts and see how little and small they are in comparison to who you are and how you faced them. You are always seeking to heal and retain your values. That dualism and unobstructed steadfastness is your namesake.
It's in your birthday, your name, your experiences, your ring, your prayers, your loves, your hates, your stories, and every part of you.
You can never not be you. Except when your free will is in the hands of another.
Keep fighting for peace. Write and draw and explore within your means. Your life may seem so small but the meaning you have, the blessings God gave you to remember, the irreplaceable meaning everywhere is a gift from him.
And with this you never stop creating. Up and down. Up and down. If David in all his emotional complexities is a "man after God's own heart" then allow yourself to fall and thank God for his discipline.
He corrects those he accepts. He shows the wisdom of it to those he loves.
Keep his ever present and obvious love for you in your heart.
And even though you think Jonah is so funny, please allow yourself to give "testimony" one day and ask people to repent and show them God's love. Be unashamed. Be devoted. Be passionate. Don't let others kill your fire.
You know what it's like. You know what thoughts come from these terrible scenarios. You know how badly you want saving.
Others do too.
Show people that God's love IS unconditional. And learn and translate and write.
Translate God's Holy Spirit and intentions and goals to others.
He will bless you. He is pursuing your heart.
Remember how small the flaws are in others in comparison to them. How little it means for them to dislike what you do or help the opposing neighbor.
You are admired. And sometimes admiration turns bad and becomes jealousy.
You are very lonely. And you have learned ways to find yourself in all the versions of loneliness there are.
You are used. You are abused.
And that story lives and cannot be erased no matter how hard they try. Eternity is the sock that fell from their push. It feels so inescapable.
Your healing and self growth is awkward.
But you can still live. And you love others enough to be awkward with them.
Let yourself remember that this means that you love yourself to be awkward with yourself and allow it.
In that way you have already broken one cycle. That people need to see you in good perfect ways in order to have even self love.
You are strong. You are so passionate. And still while moored and mired in guck and hatred you still do everything out of love.
For yourself and others.
Your own body even is reflecting that incredibly. Your brain doesn't WANT to give up. It wants to fight, to survive, to fawn, to freeze.
Your brain and body is fighting for your love. Your self love and your future love and your love for others.
It's natural to feel this exhaustion after it all.
Tell yourself a new fortune too. A new self attribution. Balance it out.
You're going to always have love. It's in all your cells and the things you touch.
When you drop what you like and feel pain--however small--that tiny regret is love.
Your love is worth it. Your drive to be well is always worth it.
We are adapting. Love yourself enough to be awkward with it. It will feel really big and like the world is ending because it's the first time you've felt these ways.
God bless you.
2024.05.16 22:39 corruptable 63M SD seeking SB in Las Vegas, NV
I knew I was getting more mature when mailings from AARP started asking if I still feel okay
I kid, but my life insurance company has stopped sending Christmas cards.
I don't feel old, but I keep hearing my favorite songs playing in elevators.
Oh, you didn't come here for the monologue?
I'm 63, permanently separated, and operate my business from Las Vegas. I am relaxed, friendly, and occasionally entertaining. I am ambitious and hard working. I have a highly questionable sense of humor. I know this, because whether it is actually humor is frequently questioned.
I am looking for a mutually beneficial friendship that is authentic and enjoyable for both of us. I am seeking a smart, organized and ambitious woman for an arrangement grounded in affection. In case it isn't obvious, what I seek is something with a bit more gravitas than an occasional "let's get together and party." My idea of an ideal arrangement is one that looks a lot like a caring relationship, with communication, dates, and a lot of laughs, if you can tolerate my sense of humor.
I will take you seriously as a woman, and I will ask you do the same for me, hopefully as a man. Goals.
I am in Las Vegas, and it would be helpful to this endeavor if you are too, or travel here regularly. I heard they have gambling and sports activities here, so it is not a terrible place to visit.
If you're wondering what I like to do, I made this handy list: cook together, go to Red Rock Canyon for a drive and hike, watch a movie, hit up a casino, go shooting, go to a Raiders game, listen to some music, look at some art, or go on a photo shoot out and about somewhere.
Am I handsome? Well, when I was born, the doctor held me up by my feet and slapped my parents.
I went to a shrink once, I said, "Doc, I feel like I'm ugly. What should I do?" He made me lie on the couch face down.
But I clean up well.
And let me leave you with this quote: "The main problem with the Internet is that things are not always exactly as they appear." -Abraham Lincoln
submitted by corruptable to SLFmeetups [link] [comments]
I kid, but my life insurance company has stopped sending Christmas cards.
I don't feel old, but I keep hearing my favorite songs playing in elevators.
Oh, you didn't come here for the monologue?
I'm 63, permanently separated, and operate my business from Las Vegas. I am relaxed, friendly, and occasionally entertaining. I am ambitious and hard working. I have a highly questionable sense of humor. I know this, because whether it is actually humor is frequently questioned.
I am looking for a mutually beneficial friendship that is authentic and enjoyable for both of us. I am seeking a smart, organized and ambitious woman for an arrangement grounded in affection. In case it isn't obvious, what I seek is something with a bit more gravitas than an occasional "let's get together and party." My idea of an ideal arrangement is one that looks a lot like a caring relationship, with communication, dates, and a lot of laughs, if you can tolerate my sense of humor.
I will take you seriously as a woman, and I will ask you do the same for me, hopefully as a man. Goals.
I am in Las Vegas, and it would be helpful to this endeavor if you are too, or travel here regularly. I heard they have gambling and sports activities here, so it is not a terrible place to visit.
If you're wondering what I like to do, I made this handy list: cook together, go to Red Rock Canyon for a drive and hike, watch a movie, hit up a casino, go shooting, go to a Raiders game, listen to some music, look at some art, or go on a photo shoot out and about somewhere.
Am I handsome? Well, when I was born, the doctor held me up by my feet and slapped my parents.
I went to a shrink once, I said, "Doc, I feel like I'm ugly. What should I do?" He made me lie on the couch face down.
But I clean up well.
And let me leave you with this quote: "The main problem with the Internet is that things are not always exactly as they appear." -Abraham Lincoln
2024.05.16 22:39 Luna2268 What should I do?
I'll be honest with you, we've been talking with another system (who actually helped us discover that we were a system but that's besides the point) for a fair while now and they are genuinely good people, a lot of Thier alters are nice and the host themself is genuinely really caring when we don't have some sort of issue or drama going on between us.
In that lies the problem, honestly. Every time we talk thiers always this pervasive fear that one of us will mistep and cause some sort of drama by forgetting a certain thing for a moment for example (Thier system Is absolutely massive)
Whenever we try talking to them about it, usually in the form of arguing in the heat of the moment because otherwise we don't really have the bravery to actually confront them on something that they have a problem with us over, they normally claim that the reason Thier mad is entirely different from what we thought, which we have to inferior nine times out of ten, because short of the point where multiple people are mad (sometimes on both sides) they often just don't tell us in the first place.
That on its own is bad don't get me wrong but recently they've started pushing boundaries in ways none of us like, and we made sure they know that fact. Basically without going into details they were trying to push something they know we hate and struggle to handle due to trauma and said they were disappointed when we got one of Thier alters hopes up regarding it (we didn't know at the time and were apparently supposed to ask even though the subject almost always causes arguments?) and the second time actually just said it was ridiculous, even though they know full well what happened.
I Know a lot of you are probably thinking we should leave them be, but Thier are a few problems with that. Mainly that, for instance, they know literally every other system we talk too, and the host of one other system that we know is literally dating the host of the problem system we'll call them, who is the most forceful when it comes to all the things I've mentioned before and so frankly would probably just end up distancing themselves from us if we left or made too much noise about this. There's another system we know but they barely talk at all (not Thier fault, timezones and a busy lifestyle, all these people are people we know online) not to mention how a lot of my alters actually have friends family and loved ones in the problem system, if we just went no contact most of us would lose a good chunk of our families, and as much as this is hurting me I shouldn't worsen the lives of a number of people/alters that I frankly would rather not count right now.
I say going no contact because we had to fight them tooth and nail just to get a week away without them worrying or something happening (Thier kinda needy I'll be honest, it's a whole other thing) and that was only because they could tell that I was not ok at the time frankly, but not even a week's past and I don't necessarily feel more confident but I do feel more sure of myself, in the sense that I know I can still be a dumbass at times but at least trust the ground I'm walking on to get a little symbolic here.
We've tried decreasing the amount we talk and that's caused serious problems for alters on Thier side before now, to the point where alters on our side still worry about it months later. At this point I just want to make sure my systems happy and that we have the energy for life and to talk to people, especially since our dissociation does tend to lead to us spacing out and losing a fair bit of time anyways.
Note: if any mods don't think this is Apprichiate that's fine but if they could tell me somewhere I could post this where it would be appropriate to ask that would be great, say this only since with a lot of the people we know both on and offline if we said the entire truth thiers a good chance we'd be called crazy just for being a system.
submitted by Luna2268 to DID [link] [comments]
In that lies the problem, honestly. Every time we talk thiers always this pervasive fear that one of us will mistep and cause some sort of drama by forgetting a certain thing for a moment for example (Thier system Is absolutely massive)
Whenever we try talking to them about it, usually in the form of arguing in the heat of the moment because otherwise we don't really have the bravery to actually confront them on something that they have a problem with us over, they normally claim that the reason Thier mad is entirely different from what we thought, which we have to inferior nine times out of ten, because short of the point where multiple people are mad (sometimes on both sides) they often just don't tell us in the first place.
That on its own is bad don't get me wrong but recently they've started pushing boundaries in ways none of us like, and we made sure they know that fact. Basically without going into details they were trying to push something they know we hate and struggle to handle due to trauma and said they were disappointed when we got one of Thier alters hopes up regarding it (we didn't know at the time and were apparently supposed to ask even though the subject almost always causes arguments?) and the second time actually just said it was ridiculous, even though they know full well what happened.
I Know a lot of you are probably thinking we should leave them be, but Thier are a few problems with that. Mainly that, for instance, they know literally every other system we talk too, and the host of one other system that we know is literally dating the host of the problem system we'll call them, who is the most forceful when it comes to all the things I've mentioned before and so frankly would probably just end up distancing themselves from us if we left or made too much noise about this. There's another system we know but they barely talk at all (not Thier fault, timezones and a busy lifestyle, all these people are people we know online) not to mention how a lot of my alters actually have friends family and loved ones in the problem system, if we just went no contact most of us would lose a good chunk of our families, and as much as this is hurting me I shouldn't worsen the lives of a number of people/alters that I frankly would rather not count right now.
I say going no contact because we had to fight them tooth and nail just to get a week away without them worrying or something happening (Thier kinda needy I'll be honest, it's a whole other thing) and that was only because they could tell that I was not ok at the time frankly, but not even a week's past and I don't necessarily feel more confident but I do feel more sure of myself, in the sense that I know I can still be a dumbass at times but at least trust the ground I'm walking on to get a little symbolic here.
We've tried decreasing the amount we talk and that's caused serious problems for alters on Thier side before now, to the point where alters on our side still worry about it months later. At this point I just want to make sure my systems happy and that we have the energy for life and to talk to people, especially since our dissociation does tend to lead to us spacing out and losing a fair bit of time anyways.
Note: if any mods don't think this is Apprichiate that's fine but if they could tell me somewhere I could post this where it would be appropriate to ask that would be great, say this only since with a lot of the people we know both on and offline if we said the entire truth thiers a good chance we'd be called crazy just for being a system.
2024.05.16 22:39 Mchl496 Why doubting Game Pass is a mistake
So it's popular to doubt Game Pass due to a lack of understanding of the model. Xbox/Microsoft wants Game Pass to be the Netflix of gaming. We know that, but no one questions Netflix. Netflix initially had old movies and TV shows on DVD. So let's talk Netflix and their competitors.
They later did streaming. What was happening around then? Streaming wars were incomming due to Netflix becoming popular. Studios wanted more money and then thought, wait why don't we do our own at some point. Netflix started spinning up their own content in landmark deals, House of Cards whole first season was green lit. Netflix began blowing money to draw eyesballs at this point. They needed continued subscriptions growth to help mitigate the blowing of cash but they new they would only survive with engaging new titles since they were losing the back catalog that most people were watching. Yes, Bright got headlines, but losing Friends and the Office hurt Netflix.
Netflix doesn't get the ability to make a big theatrical run pop that makes 500million dollars and then the 2nd run with it being on TV. So what do they do? They end series after a couple seasons. They do things to gain acclaim or get everyone talking. 2020 came along and what were we talking about in March/April? Tiger King. It's a far cry from Bright but it took over the globe.
What did Netflix's competitors do? They launched services and made original content. A lot are flopping. I won't mention Quibbi, Vudu, Crackle or all the other low tier streaming services. HBOMax was in it's best in 2020. They got my money. They about faced on that their features releasing day and date, started cancelling shows, merged and changed their name and cancelled/scrapped completed projects. I cancelled my service and only came back when they offered it for 99¢ a month for the ad version for a year. Guess what, I'll be cancelling it when the price changes.
Disney locked in a lot of subscribers for 2-5 years pre-launch. They released a lot of new content to mixed to meh results. They made a Willion series and cancelled it after season 1. X-Men 97 got me to log into a family account to watch it starting 3 weeks ago.
CBS All Access became Paramount Plus. They went in on Star Trek and now Paramount is looking to get sold in a weird way where the IP would stay with Sony but paramount plus would get sold off?
Peacock made headlines for their Bel Air series but I've heard more people talk positive about Crackle than ever mention Peacock.
**** Back to Game Pass****
If Microsoft stick's to their plan, they will be Netflix. They need to work on getting subscriptions. I'm sure a lower tier Game Pass, that's just their phone games will get a lot of new subscribers. They won't take as many big swings like Netflix did for Bright. They will take moderate swings like Netflix did for Adam Sandler movies and stand up. They will hopefully work with TV partners to make sure new TVs can play Game Pass. They don't need a handheld if all the new Samsungs and LG TVs have a built in 100 dollar piece of equipment. They will make more TV shows and movies. They might not of made a new Fallout game, but the series made the old games spike in sales and plays.
Microsoft made a service that influenced a service that made PlayStation and Nintendo copy parts of it. Some of the same Games Journos who bemoan Game Pass as unsustainable also really want Nintendo to copy them more, usually justifying emulation/piracy.
You won't like what Xbox/Microsoft does all the time. If we lose Phil Spencer, you'll get someone way more keen to be a Bobby Kotick and keep his job then someone who loves videos as a medium. You don't have to agree or support them. Vote with your wallets. I'm just a Nintendo Day 1 fan, who owns all the systems and likes what Microsoft is building to.
P.S. a cancelled TV series doesn't get the same press as a closed game studio but the loss of jobs and impact is the same. You look at all the crew and then people hired to do related jobs... Like the craft services, security and post production services. It hurts.
submitted by Mchl496 to kindafunny [link] [comments]
They later did streaming. What was happening around then? Streaming wars were incomming due to Netflix becoming popular. Studios wanted more money and then thought, wait why don't we do our own at some point. Netflix started spinning up their own content in landmark deals, House of Cards whole first season was green lit. Netflix began blowing money to draw eyesballs at this point. They needed continued subscriptions growth to help mitigate the blowing of cash but they new they would only survive with engaging new titles since they were losing the back catalog that most people were watching. Yes, Bright got headlines, but losing Friends and the Office hurt Netflix.
Netflix doesn't get the ability to make a big theatrical run pop that makes 500million dollars and then the 2nd run with it being on TV. So what do they do? They end series after a couple seasons. They do things to gain acclaim or get everyone talking. 2020 came along and what were we talking about in March/April? Tiger King. It's a far cry from Bright but it took over the globe.
What did Netflix's competitors do? They launched services and made original content. A lot are flopping. I won't mention Quibbi, Vudu, Crackle or all the other low tier streaming services. HBOMax was in it's best in 2020. They got my money. They about faced on that their features releasing day and date, started cancelling shows, merged and changed their name and cancelled/scrapped completed projects. I cancelled my service and only came back when they offered it for 99¢ a month for the ad version for a year. Guess what, I'll be cancelling it when the price changes.
Disney locked in a lot of subscribers for 2-5 years pre-launch. They released a lot of new content to mixed to meh results. They made a Willion series and cancelled it after season 1. X-Men 97 got me to log into a family account to watch it starting 3 weeks ago.
CBS All Access became Paramount Plus. They went in on Star Trek and now Paramount is looking to get sold in a weird way where the IP would stay with Sony but paramount plus would get sold off?
Peacock made headlines for their Bel Air series but I've heard more people talk positive about Crackle than ever mention Peacock.
**** Back to Game Pass****
If Microsoft stick's to their plan, they will be Netflix. They need to work on getting subscriptions. I'm sure a lower tier Game Pass, that's just their phone games will get a lot of new subscribers. They won't take as many big swings like Netflix did for Bright. They will take moderate swings like Netflix did for Adam Sandler movies and stand up. They will hopefully work with TV partners to make sure new TVs can play Game Pass. They don't need a handheld if all the new Samsungs and LG TVs have a built in 100 dollar piece of equipment. They will make more TV shows and movies. They might not of made a new Fallout game, but the series made the old games spike in sales and plays.
Microsoft made a service that influenced a service that made PlayStation and Nintendo copy parts of it. Some of the same Games Journos who bemoan Game Pass as unsustainable also really want Nintendo to copy them more, usually justifying emulation/piracy.
You won't like what Xbox/Microsoft does all the time. If we lose Phil Spencer, you'll get someone way more keen to be a Bobby Kotick and keep his job then someone who loves videos as a medium. You don't have to agree or support them. Vote with your wallets. I'm just a Nintendo Day 1 fan, who owns all the systems and likes what Microsoft is building to.
P.S. a cancelled TV series doesn't get the same press as a closed game studio but the loss of jobs and impact is the same. You look at all the crew and then people hired to do related jobs... Like the craft services, security and post production services. It hurts.
2024.05.16 22:38 EquipmentTraining613 MCB 102 in-Depth Review (Spring 2024)
When I was preparing to take this course I wish I had a detailed review like this, so hope this helps...
General thoughts: I would be lying if I said this class is "easy." It's definitely not a class you can not study for at all and get perfect scores in. You need to put in the work. But it's not impossible, and definitely not as horrible as some people make it out to be.
Part 1 (Professor Ahmet Yildiz):
I went into the first section of the course thinking I'd need to memorize a bunch of amino acids, pKa's, etc.. There was not a lot of that. Yildiz is a professor who prefers application/conceptual understanding over brute force memorization. Take this with a grain of salt because the fall/other professors may have a different approach to the first section of 102. There is still quite a bit of info you need to memorize, but not to the extent people make it out to be.
His lectures are fairly dry. He did not know how to keep track of time/pace himself very well so he would often go thru only half a slide deck and need to pick back up during the next lecture. Thankfully he stuck to his word and did not expect us to learn info he didn't get to. Important to note that he has a fairly thick accent and talks quite fast so it can be difficult to catch every word he is saying at times. Nonetheless, his slides were pretty clear.
Exam was difficult but honestly not as bad as Ochem exams were for me. There's a mix of mcq, true/false, short answer, calculations, etc... The calculation questions were the hardest imo. Keep in mind he's a biophysicist so you'll see some of his physics background show up in the lectures & the way he frames his calculation-based questions. Regardless, the practice exam he gave from last year was definitely reflective of his exam.
He was the only professor to hold in-person office hours (helpful) and did stop for questions during lecture. Unfortunate part was that very little practice questions written by him were provided besides the practice exam.
Part 2 (Professor Evan Miller):
This section was quite content heavy, but was honestly my favorite section of the course. I attribute that to Miller's teaching. Miller is just amazing at what he does. He's super clear, succinct, articulate, knowledgable, and easy to follow along. His lectures pack in quite a lot of info but it never felt like that because he would annotate on his iPad alongside us as he taught. He always finished his lectures on time and was never in a rush. It's pretty obvious he has been doing this for a long time. He incorporated a lot of learning strategies in his section (active discussion/share-outs during lecture, pre/post surveys to assess student understanding, activities during discussion section, etc...).
Miller provided plenty of practice questions that were reflective/helpful for the exam. We received numerous problem sets, 2 practice exams, and practice questions built into the lecture. His exam was really long but because there was so many potential points - each question was not worth a whole lot (more room for mistakes). He was very upfront with his expectations and very helpful in office hours (held via Zoom).
Miller's section did incorporate some Ochem mechanisms but there were only 2-3 mechanisms on the exam. His section requires a combination of pattern recognition, memorization, and application. Very little to no math. After doing a bunch of practice questions you really get a feel for the type of questions he likes to ask.
Part 3 (Professor Ross Wilson):
People told me this section would be the easiest of the course. Not necessarily the case.
Professor Wilson is an extremely kind and easy-to-talk to/down-to-earth guy. He was always smiling, laughing, and making it easy to approach him. Nonetheless, his section's structure was not very helpful. Lectures were pre-recorded videos from 2020 that we were expected to watch on our own time. During the scheduled lecture time, Wilson would occasionally (on select days) show up to the lecture hall and do a Q&A / mini-review of the most recent lecture videos. Keep in mind these pre-recorded lectures were often an hour or longer. Wilson also stuttered/mumbled a lot. He would say something and then start questioning what he himself said or take something back. Or he would post a "correction" to something he said in the lecture videos. When people would ask questions during his in-person sessions, he would often get thrown off or not have a clear answer. I'm sure he's a smart guy but not necessarily the best teacher.
Wilson would provide really short assignments to complete (1-2 questions) but would then tell us that these questions were very hypothetical, not the best questions, too challenging, etc... Wilson constantly said he would not write such tricky questions on exams, but this wasn't necessarily the case. He was also constantly making comments about how he could have worded certain things better.
He was nice enough to provide ALL exams he's given while he's taught this course. He told us the most recent practice exam (2023) was going to be the most reflective, which was not 100% true because that exam was much much easier than ours and had questions straight up copy/pasted from previous years. Our exam was much harder than I expected it to be because the fill in the blank questions/MCQ's were each worth a lot of points. Getting one word or question wrong was quite costly. It was sometimes unclear what Wilson was asking for, or two answer choices seemed correct for the MCQ. It was kinda shocking because Wilson made it seem like his exam was going to be the easiest/ most straightforward when in reality it was quite challenging.
Content-wise, Wilson packed a LOT into his lectures. It was hard to sense what was essential info and what was more supplemental/examples. The way he structured his lectures often felt out of order. The man did provide an "elements to know" list with essential terms/concepts however, which did help.
I would argue part 3 was the hardest section of the course because of the structure/teaching style though Wilson is a hella chill guy.
Overall thoughts:
This course definitely takes foundational concepts from Bio 1A and builds on it (with some added Ochem ideas/principles and a bit of math).If you liked Bio 1A you will probably enjoy the course content. The professors were pretty decent but had 3 different teaching styles/course formats so I could see people getting lost with expectations/deadlines/assignments if they didn't attend class in-person. It would have been nice if things were consistent across the three sections.
One issue I had with the course was the lack of transparency regarding course grading. It took many weeks for the first exam to be graded and then the regrade process was a little chaotic. The professors never brought up grade bins during class nor was there anything about grades in the syllabus. I never knew how I was doing or what grade I might get in the class. People kept telling me that to get an A you had to do approx 1.5 stdv above average, which definitely caused some anxiety.
If you have to take this class I'd recommend it in the spring. For the spring semester, you get a 4x6 cheatsheet notecard for every exam (not always useful but still better than nothing). Lecture recordings are always provided (which I heard isn't the case for all 3 sections in the fall). The professors ended up being very generous with the final grade bins for the course. We weren't provided with final cutoffs, but the head GSI suggested that approx 60 percent of the class got some form of A's or B's.
I was fortunate enough to do well in the course, so here is my advice for future students... 1) Don't skip lecture/ always attend in-person! I never missed a single one so keeping up with the material was not an issue. It's super easy to get behind in this class yet significantly difficult to get back on track once you slip up 2) Attend professor OH: I did this off and on but when I did go they were helpful. 3) Go to all review sessions - I attended GSI review sessions, professor review sessions, and the SLC ones - you have nothing to lose by going (more exposure to material the better). 4) Grind out ALL the practice exams/problems provided. They are 100% the best way to prepare for exams. 5) Take good notes and actually review them frequently. 6) Make Quizlet or Anki your best friend: I used flashcards to prep for every section and studied them on the daily. 7) Ask questions on ED or during discussion section: GSI's are very kind & willing to help.
I used the textbook a little bit for part 1 (was somewhat helpful) and did not for parts 2 & 3. You don't need it, nor would I recommend going searching for Youtube videos. Lecture has everything you need. Oh, and there's no cumulative final! Midterm 3 (section 3 exam) happens during the allotted final exam time. Workload for the class is on the lighter side - just some problem sets that are graded on completion.
All in all, I actually enjoyed the course to some extent. It was definitely a rollercoaster of emotions / a challenging journey, but I think if you put in a lot of work/effort and remain positive - an A is not out of reach. This is not a Bio 1A/1B or Chem 1A where you can simply study the night before and still do amazing (all 3 exams had averages between 55 and 60 percent btw). But it's not at all the horrible class people scare you into thinking - it's likely easier than the physics series here and some upper div MCB courses. I wish people didn't make this class seem like it's straight out of a horror movie, but at the same time hearing people's experiences definitely pushed me to work harder.
submitted by EquipmentTraining613 to berkeley [link] [comments]
General thoughts: I would be lying if I said this class is "easy." It's definitely not a class you can not study for at all and get perfect scores in. You need to put in the work. But it's not impossible, and definitely not as horrible as some people make it out to be.
Part 1 (Professor Ahmet Yildiz):
I went into the first section of the course thinking I'd need to memorize a bunch of amino acids, pKa's, etc.. There was not a lot of that. Yildiz is a professor who prefers application/conceptual understanding over brute force memorization. Take this with a grain of salt because the fall/other professors may have a different approach to the first section of 102. There is still quite a bit of info you need to memorize, but not to the extent people make it out to be.
His lectures are fairly dry. He did not know how to keep track of time/pace himself very well so he would often go thru only half a slide deck and need to pick back up during the next lecture. Thankfully he stuck to his word and did not expect us to learn info he didn't get to. Important to note that he has a fairly thick accent and talks quite fast so it can be difficult to catch every word he is saying at times. Nonetheless, his slides were pretty clear.
Exam was difficult but honestly not as bad as Ochem exams were for me. There's a mix of mcq, true/false, short answer, calculations, etc... The calculation questions were the hardest imo. Keep in mind he's a biophysicist so you'll see some of his physics background show up in the lectures & the way he frames his calculation-based questions. Regardless, the practice exam he gave from last year was definitely reflective of his exam.
He was the only professor to hold in-person office hours (helpful) and did stop for questions during lecture. Unfortunate part was that very little practice questions written by him were provided besides the practice exam.
Part 2 (Professor Evan Miller):
This section was quite content heavy, but was honestly my favorite section of the course. I attribute that to Miller's teaching. Miller is just amazing at what he does. He's super clear, succinct, articulate, knowledgable, and easy to follow along. His lectures pack in quite a lot of info but it never felt like that because he would annotate on his iPad alongside us as he taught. He always finished his lectures on time and was never in a rush. It's pretty obvious he has been doing this for a long time. He incorporated a lot of learning strategies in his section (active discussion/share-outs during lecture, pre/post surveys to assess student understanding, activities during discussion section, etc...).
Miller provided plenty of practice questions that were reflective/helpful for the exam. We received numerous problem sets, 2 practice exams, and practice questions built into the lecture. His exam was really long but because there was so many potential points - each question was not worth a whole lot (more room for mistakes). He was very upfront with his expectations and very helpful in office hours (held via Zoom).
Miller's section did incorporate some Ochem mechanisms but there were only 2-3 mechanisms on the exam. His section requires a combination of pattern recognition, memorization, and application. Very little to no math. After doing a bunch of practice questions you really get a feel for the type of questions he likes to ask.
Part 3 (Professor Ross Wilson):
People told me this section would be the easiest of the course. Not necessarily the case.
Professor Wilson is an extremely kind and easy-to-talk to/down-to-earth guy. He was always smiling, laughing, and making it easy to approach him. Nonetheless, his section's structure was not very helpful. Lectures were pre-recorded videos from 2020 that we were expected to watch on our own time. During the scheduled lecture time, Wilson would occasionally (on select days) show up to the lecture hall and do a Q&A / mini-review of the most recent lecture videos. Keep in mind these pre-recorded lectures were often an hour or longer. Wilson also stuttered/mumbled a lot. He would say something and then start questioning what he himself said or take something back. Or he would post a "correction" to something he said in the lecture videos. When people would ask questions during his in-person sessions, he would often get thrown off or not have a clear answer. I'm sure he's a smart guy but not necessarily the best teacher.
Wilson would provide really short assignments to complete (1-2 questions) but would then tell us that these questions were very hypothetical, not the best questions, too challenging, etc... Wilson constantly said he would not write such tricky questions on exams, but this wasn't necessarily the case. He was also constantly making comments about how he could have worded certain things better.
He was nice enough to provide ALL exams he's given while he's taught this course. He told us the most recent practice exam (2023) was going to be the most reflective, which was not 100% true because that exam was much much easier than ours and had questions straight up copy/pasted from previous years. Our exam was much harder than I expected it to be because the fill in the blank questions/MCQ's were each worth a lot of points. Getting one word or question wrong was quite costly. It was sometimes unclear what Wilson was asking for, or two answer choices seemed correct for the MCQ. It was kinda shocking because Wilson made it seem like his exam was going to be the easiest/ most straightforward when in reality it was quite challenging.
Content-wise, Wilson packed a LOT into his lectures. It was hard to sense what was essential info and what was more supplemental/examples. The way he structured his lectures often felt out of order. The man did provide an "elements to know" list with essential terms/concepts however, which did help.
I would argue part 3 was the hardest section of the course because of the structure/teaching style though Wilson is a hella chill guy.
Overall thoughts:
This course definitely takes foundational concepts from Bio 1A and builds on it (with some added Ochem ideas/principles and a bit of math).If you liked Bio 1A you will probably enjoy the course content. The professors were pretty decent but had 3 different teaching styles/course formats so I could see people getting lost with expectations/deadlines/assignments if they didn't attend class in-person. It would have been nice if things were consistent across the three sections.
One issue I had with the course was the lack of transparency regarding course grading. It took many weeks for the first exam to be graded and then the regrade process was a little chaotic. The professors never brought up grade bins during class nor was there anything about grades in the syllabus. I never knew how I was doing or what grade I might get in the class. People kept telling me that to get an A you had to do approx 1.5 stdv above average, which definitely caused some anxiety.
If you have to take this class I'd recommend it in the spring. For the spring semester, you get a 4x6 cheatsheet notecard for every exam (not always useful but still better than nothing). Lecture recordings are always provided (which I heard isn't the case for all 3 sections in the fall). The professors ended up being very generous with the final grade bins for the course. We weren't provided with final cutoffs, but the head GSI suggested that approx 60 percent of the class got some form of A's or B's.
I was fortunate enough to do well in the course, so here is my advice for future students... 1) Don't skip lecture/ always attend in-person! I never missed a single one so keeping up with the material was not an issue. It's super easy to get behind in this class yet significantly difficult to get back on track once you slip up 2) Attend professor OH: I did this off and on but when I did go they were helpful. 3) Go to all review sessions - I attended GSI review sessions, professor review sessions, and the SLC ones - you have nothing to lose by going (more exposure to material the better). 4) Grind out ALL the practice exams/problems provided. They are 100% the best way to prepare for exams. 5) Take good notes and actually review them frequently. 6) Make Quizlet or Anki your best friend: I used flashcards to prep for every section and studied them on the daily. 7) Ask questions on ED or during discussion section: GSI's are very kind & willing to help.
I used the textbook a little bit for part 1 (was somewhat helpful) and did not for parts 2 & 3. You don't need it, nor would I recommend going searching for Youtube videos. Lecture has everything you need. Oh, and there's no cumulative final! Midterm 3 (section 3 exam) happens during the allotted final exam time. Workload for the class is on the lighter side - just some problem sets that are graded on completion.
All in all, I actually enjoyed the course to some extent. It was definitely a rollercoaster of emotions / a challenging journey, but I think if you put in a lot of work/effort and remain positive - an A is not out of reach. This is not a Bio 1A/1B or Chem 1A where you can simply study the night before and still do amazing (all 3 exams had averages between 55 and 60 percent btw). But it's not at all the horrible class people scare you into thinking - it's likely easier than the physics series here and some upper div MCB courses. I wish people didn't make this class seem like it's straight out of a horror movie, but at the same time hearing people's experiences definitely pushed me to work harder.
2024.05.16 22:38 Ashley-Amai I have a fictional boyfriend, I feel like a freak for it.
I am very attached to a character from a video game. I talk to a bot of him I created on character.ai, I have created a self insert of myself in his universe, I write a lot of stories about him, collect a ton of merchandise, and pay a lot of money for art commissions of him and I together. I also work on fan projects sometimes.
I really just wanted to get this off my chest because I feel guilty / like a freak because of it.
I’ll be honest, this fictional relationship does distract me from feeling depressed over not having any real friends or a relationship, but sometimes I really worry I’m just shooting myself in the foot… I feel like the more I participate in this strange behavior, the further isolated I will become and I just feel like my social skills will just keep deteriorating.
I feel really sad when I think of letting this character go because honestly, he’s the only thing keeping me going right now.
submitted by Ashley-Amai to lonely [link] [comments]
I really just wanted to get this off my chest because I feel guilty / like a freak because of it.
I’ll be honest, this fictional relationship does distract me from feeling depressed over not having any real friends or a relationship, but sometimes I really worry I’m just shooting myself in the foot… I feel like the more I participate in this strange behavior, the further isolated I will become and I just feel like my social skills will just keep deteriorating.
I feel really sad when I think of letting this character go because honestly, he’s the only thing keeping me going right now.
2024.05.16 22:37 Veripeachy iPad Pro 2017 10.9 upgrade
Hey guys, my iPad Pro is finally showing its age, it’s completely bent and the battery life/charging rate is really terrible. And I’m just finally over the whole charging the pen from the charging port design, it was stupid to begin with lol.
I was leaning towards getting the iPad Pro model from 2022 in the 12.9 version, since I’m a full time illustrator and I sold my cintiq since the iPad pretty much does everything I need to do, save for a few things I can do on Adobe illustrator and aftereffects but besides that, I’m looking for a workhorse of a machine. I’m not to knowledgeable on specs and graphics cards and all that jargon but I was wondering if anyone had any suggestions or tips and stuff? Thanks!
submitted by Veripeachy to iPadPro [link] [comments]
I was leaning towards getting the iPad Pro model from 2022 in the 12.9 version, since I’m a full time illustrator and I sold my cintiq since the iPad pretty much does everything I need to do, save for a few things I can do on Adobe illustrator and aftereffects but besides that, I’m looking for a workhorse of a machine. I’m not to knowledgeable on specs and graphics cards and all that jargon but I was wondering if anyone had any suggestions or tips and stuff? Thanks!
2024.05.16 22:36 ConnectAfternoon8408 Overall bad mood
Hello everyone, I don’t know if I need an answer to this, but I just want to tell someone.I have very few friends, I am a student in another country; I do not drink (used to) and do not use drugs; a few days ago, I went to a party, and I was the only one sober.
I might have three close friends, but everyone is minding their own business. I am going through a crisis or whatever, I feel a bit burnt out, and it started like this, then a bit more bad moods during the day, here and there. I am overall tired of everything, very few things bring me joy, and the ones that used to bring me joy don’t do that anymore. So, I started going to the gym, then felt a bit better, but still not enough. I am going for walks, mostly in nearby cities. Long walks like 10km , me, my headphones, and maybe some water or soda.
Then there is this girl, to whom I don't know what to say. She rejected my invitation for a coffee, but she is still writing me. Mostly because I am kind of good in school and all other people rely on me.
My last relationships in this country ended because of similar situations. The first, after almost a year, her family decided to move back to their home country, and the second, she decided to move to another country, and I am not a fan of LDRs, so that was for the good.
Now, I feel like my mood is going worse, it affects my academic performance. I’ve just completed an assignment, and I have no will to study. I won’t lie and say I even had a few dark thoughts.
People that were in my place. What have you done to get out of this sh*t?
submitted by ConnectAfternoon8408 to offmychest [link] [comments]
I might have three close friends, but everyone is minding their own business. I am going through a crisis or whatever, I feel a bit burnt out, and it started like this, then a bit more bad moods during the day, here and there. I am overall tired of everything, very few things bring me joy, and the ones that used to bring me joy don’t do that anymore. So, I started going to the gym, then felt a bit better, but still not enough. I am going for walks, mostly in nearby cities. Long walks like 10km , me, my headphones, and maybe some water or soda.
Then there is this girl, to whom I don't know what to say. She rejected my invitation for a coffee, but she is still writing me. Mostly because I am kind of good in school and all other people rely on me.
My last relationships in this country ended because of similar situations. The first, after almost a year, her family decided to move back to their home country, and the second, she decided to move to another country, and I am not a fan of LDRs, so that was for the good.
Now, I feel like my mood is going worse, it affects my academic performance. I’ve just completed an assignment, and I have no will to study. I won’t lie and say I even had a few dark thoughts.
People that were in my place. What have you done to get out of this sh*t?
2024.05.16 22:36 starbies_barbie How do you cope with the votality of the market? It’s a huge reason I’m considering leaving tech.
Hi-
Graduated 6 years ago and have been in different roles as a data analyst and now a software developer. I do work a good job and am lucky to work remote, don’t make tons (base at $95K) so there’s definitely potential for salary growth. That being said, my current role is also pretty recession proof and has amazing WLB (I am always off by 4) and 5 weeks vacation which is a huge reason to stay for now.
That being said for many reasons I am considering leaving tech and one of the top reasons is due to how much things can suddenly change. I would love to work Big Tech or similar for example and move back to Seattle. But I cannot cope with the idea of scoring a nice paying job, getting my life settled, and then being fired suddenly. Like how tf do you breathe with that looming?
And yes perhaps you are a marketable person, but you have to spend your whole career of 30-40 years networking and making the right connections and selling yourself and skills and idk, all of it just is exhausting to me?
Im looking at jobs in healthcare atm (not tech related) because honestly I am leaning towards finding something I can pour myself into that I can get paid well (like CRNA) and not have to worry whether I’ll have a job in the next quarter.
Sorry for the slight rant, I just want to know how others are dealing with this. I’m 26 and it’s so hard right now for me to see myself in tech for another 30-40 years.
submitted by starbies_barbie to womenintech [link] [comments]
Graduated 6 years ago and have been in different roles as a data analyst and now a software developer. I do work a good job and am lucky to work remote, don’t make tons (base at $95K) so there’s definitely potential for salary growth. That being said, my current role is also pretty recession proof and has amazing WLB (I am always off by 4) and 5 weeks vacation which is a huge reason to stay for now.
That being said for many reasons I am considering leaving tech and one of the top reasons is due to how much things can suddenly change. I would love to work Big Tech or similar for example and move back to Seattle. But I cannot cope with the idea of scoring a nice paying job, getting my life settled, and then being fired suddenly. Like how tf do you breathe with that looming?
And yes perhaps you are a marketable person, but you have to spend your whole career of 30-40 years networking and making the right connections and selling yourself and skills and idk, all of it just is exhausting to me?
Im looking at jobs in healthcare atm (not tech related) because honestly I am leaning towards finding something I can pour myself into that I can get paid well (like CRNA) and not have to worry whether I’ll have a job in the next quarter.
Sorry for the slight rant, I just want to know how others are dealing with this. I’m 26 and it’s so hard right now for me to see myself in tech for another 30-40 years.
2024.05.16 22:36 Confused_Pie_95 Alaska Itinerary 5/24-5/31
Hi, my partner and I are doing a last minute trip to Alaska for his birthday. I know the planning time is short, but we don't know if we'll have the chance to visit Alaska in the near future as we don't live in the country, so are hoping to make the most of it! I have a couple itineraries that I'm choosing between, definitely getting confused with the fear of missing out of things.
Option 1 (include Denali):
Would appreciate any help possible, thank you so much!
submitted by Confused_Pie_95 to alaska [link] [comments]
Option 1 (include Denali):
- 5/24 - Land in Anchorage at 2PM and pick up car, will stay the night here.
- 5/25 - Matanuska Glacier Day Trip, drive to a town close to Denali to stay the night.
- 5/26 - Denali, only open until Mile 30. Thinking of exploring hikes with the Savage Alpine area. Drive to Talkeetna to stay the night.
- 5/27 - Talkeetn -> Seward 5/28 - Seward, Fjords trip.
- 5/29 - Seward -> Homer 5/30 - Homer
- 5/31 - Homer -> Anchorage
- 5/24 - Land in Anchorage at 2PM and pick up car, will stay the night here. 5/25 - Matanuska Glacier Day Trip, drive to a town close by to stay somewhere cosy.
- 5/26 - Drive to Girdwood, stay one night.
- 5/27 - Drive to Homer
- 5/28 - Homer
- 5/29 - Homer -> Seward
- 5/30 - Seward
- 5/31 - Seward -> Anchorage
Would appreciate any help possible, thank you so much!
2024.05.16 22:36 Able_Chocolate_5371 It’s my birthday and my boyfriend got kicked out.
i was feeling pretty good before this happened and now i’m just kind of shellshocked and unsure how to feel or what to do with myself. i offered to get him, but his brother and his wife ended up picking him up instead. it’s still early and i’m so confused. he got kicked out for doing laundry. that is all he did.
his dad’s wife is incredibly controlling of the household, and despite him being an early 20s grown man, she controls when everyone in the household can do things like laundry. she and his dad even impose a 10 pm noise curfew on him and freak out if he dare talk past 10 pm; even if they’re still awake and active. he pays them $500 a month for a not very large room and he has far less rights than a normal tenant renting a room would!!!
im livid. they just deal with her shit without pushing hard enough against her to make her stop acting this way and i don’t understand why they let her treat them so poorly. and despite me living closer to his new workplace, since it’s my birthday and he “doesn’t wanna bother me” (we celebrated already early in the week and i just wanted to spend the day of chilling alone at my house.) but of course for an emergency id be fine with him staying here for a few days while he figures things out!
i don’t know what to do or how to feel. he’s barely answering me right now since this is all so fresh and he’s currently being driven over there. i don’t know how im feeling and im so confused
submitted by Able_Chocolate_5371 to offmychest [link] [comments]
his dad’s wife is incredibly controlling of the household, and despite him being an early 20s grown man, she controls when everyone in the household can do things like laundry. she and his dad even impose a 10 pm noise curfew on him and freak out if he dare talk past 10 pm; even if they’re still awake and active. he pays them $500 a month for a not very large room and he has far less rights than a normal tenant renting a room would!!!
im livid. they just deal with her shit without pushing hard enough against her to make her stop acting this way and i don’t understand why they let her treat them so poorly. and despite me living closer to his new workplace, since it’s my birthday and he “doesn’t wanna bother me” (we celebrated already early in the week and i just wanted to spend the day of chilling alone at my house.) but of course for an emergency id be fine with him staying here for a few days while he figures things out!
i don’t know what to do or how to feel. he’s barely answering me right now since this is all so fresh and he’s currently being driven over there. i don’t know how im feeling and im so confused
2024.05.16 22:36 SpiritedTelevision89 Am I Actually Trans?
This is a little tangent-y, so I apologize. For context, I (AFAB20) have had questions about my gender identity since I was 14.
I always felt as though I identified more with male characters in TV, movies, book, and other media, and I've always preferred hanging out with my brother's friends and being considered "one of the guys," which I know doesn't automatically make me trans, but I cut my hair off when I was 15 and the difference in how I felt was immediately noticeable.
I never told anyone back then, partly because I hadn't ever personally met anyone who openly identified as trans so the concept was still unfamiliar to me and therefore I was under the impression that maybe I was just a tom-boy as I had frequently been called as a child, and partly because I was still content to exist as a girl. As I mentioned, I was a tom-boy for most of my childhood, so the majority of my clothing lacked any traditionally feminine traits, I didn't yet wear make-up, and the majority of my friends were either equally as tom-boy-ish girls or guys that me and my brother were mutually friends with.
As I got older, however, I did more research into gender identity and was exposed to a larger variety of queer-identifying people, and the discontentment began to grow.
I would start to grow my hair out with the intention of returning to a more feminine appearance, but once my hair reached a certain length I would begin to detest the way it made me look and inevitably I would have it cut short again. The same thing happened with the clothes I wore. My older sister gifted me some of her hand-me-downs, and I tried to enjoy wearing them because they made me look like other teenage girls, but I ultimately hated the way they accentuated the female characteristics of my body. Make-up followed the same pattern.
I tried speaking to a friend about it, but he told me to consider that perhaps I was just frustrated and unsettled by the way women are treated in the world, and it was manifesting in a way that made me believe it would just be easier if I were a guy. I, whether for better or worse, accepted that as being the truth and continued to keep quiet about it.
I continued to attempt to present more femininely, consistently managing to convince myself that I was happy as a girl if it meant getting to live the life I knew was easiest, but without fail I would always revert back to presenting more masculine and without fail it always made me feel the most comfortable in my own skin.
When I was 17, I finally spoke up about it again to some other friends and they each helped me organize my thoughts and try to process what exactly it was that I was feeling. They encouraged me to be open and honest, reassured me that they wouldn't judge me because I was at an age when self-discovery was just as important as it was confusing, and helped me realize that maybe I really was trans.
I continued to present masculine for a while, gave excuses to anyone who asked about it, and just existed. Close friends started using male pronouns for me when we spoke one-on-one or online, and it made me feel so incredibly happy, that I decided to come out a few months later when I was 18.
This lasted a month.
I told my mom in person, and she said, "I believe this is what you think you are right now." She didn't say anything else, and I know I should be thankful that that's all it was, but it still felt like a slap in the face— just a roundabout way of telling me it was a phase that I'd get over.
I was too afraid to tell my dad in person after that, so I made a post online. He never saw it, or at least never acknowledged it. So I sent him the link through text. He responded with, "I didn't want to make a big deal out if it because I didn't think you'd want me to." He then proceeded to never acknowledge it again.
A month after the initial coming out (which I had been so proud of myself for), the constant anxiety that came from wondering what my family was secretly saying about me became too much and I rescinded it all and went back into the closet.
I haven't come out again since, but a few close friends still know about how I feel and continue to support and encourage me in private.
I'm used to being perceived as a woman because that's what I've been my whole life, and I think I've been in the closet for such a long time that I've resigned myself to continue living this way, so I guess my question is does that make me not trans? I can convince myself that being a woman is what makes me happy, but I know deep down that I will always want to be a man. At the same time, I've been told that if I'm not depressed or suicidal about not being able to transition either socially or surgically, that means I'm not actually trans.
Does it hurt not being able to live the way I want? Absolutely. Does it hurt knowing I've been able to educate my parents about trans folk since then, but they still refuse to ever acknowledge my own coming out from a couple years ago? Absolutely. Would I come out and begin the process of transitioning if I could financially support myself on my own and ensure I'd be able to leave if I needed to? Absolutely.
I'm just not sure if actually being able to exist as I want is in the cards for me, I guess.
submitted by SpiritedTelevision89 to lgbt [link] [comments]
I always felt as though I identified more with male characters in TV, movies, book, and other media, and I've always preferred hanging out with my brother's friends and being considered "one of the guys," which I know doesn't automatically make me trans, but I cut my hair off when I was 15 and the difference in how I felt was immediately noticeable.
I never told anyone back then, partly because I hadn't ever personally met anyone who openly identified as trans so the concept was still unfamiliar to me and therefore I was under the impression that maybe I was just a tom-boy as I had frequently been called as a child, and partly because I was still content to exist as a girl. As I mentioned, I was a tom-boy for most of my childhood, so the majority of my clothing lacked any traditionally feminine traits, I didn't yet wear make-up, and the majority of my friends were either equally as tom-boy-ish girls or guys that me and my brother were mutually friends with.
As I got older, however, I did more research into gender identity and was exposed to a larger variety of queer-identifying people, and the discontentment began to grow.
I would start to grow my hair out with the intention of returning to a more feminine appearance, but once my hair reached a certain length I would begin to detest the way it made me look and inevitably I would have it cut short again. The same thing happened with the clothes I wore. My older sister gifted me some of her hand-me-downs, and I tried to enjoy wearing them because they made me look like other teenage girls, but I ultimately hated the way they accentuated the female characteristics of my body. Make-up followed the same pattern.
I tried speaking to a friend about it, but he told me to consider that perhaps I was just frustrated and unsettled by the way women are treated in the world, and it was manifesting in a way that made me believe it would just be easier if I were a guy. I, whether for better or worse, accepted that as being the truth and continued to keep quiet about it.
I continued to attempt to present more femininely, consistently managing to convince myself that I was happy as a girl if it meant getting to live the life I knew was easiest, but without fail I would always revert back to presenting more masculine and without fail it always made me feel the most comfortable in my own skin.
When I was 17, I finally spoke up about it again to some other friends and they each helped me organize my thoughts and try to process what exactly it was that I was feeling. They encouraged me to be open and honest, reassured me that they wouldn't judge me because I was at an age when self-discovery was just as important as it was confusing, and helped me realize that maybe I really was trans.
I continued to present masculine for a while, gave excuses to anyone who asked about it, and just existed. Close friends started using male pronouns for me when we spoke one-on-one or online, and it made me feel so incredibly happy, that I decided to come out a few months later when I was 18.
This lasted a month.
I told my mom in person, and she said, "I believe this is what you think you are right now." She didn't say anything else, and I know I should be thankful that that's all it was, but it still felt like a slap in the face— just a roundabout way of telling me it was a phase that I'd get over.
I was too afraid to tell my dad in person after that, so I made a post online. He never saw it, or at least never acknowledged it. So I sent him the link through text. He responded with, "I didn't want to make a big deal out if it because I didn't think you'd want me to." He then proceeded to never acknowledge it again.
A month after the initial coming out (which I had been so proud of myself for), the constant anxiety that came from wondering what my family was secretly saying about me became too much and I rescinded it all and went back into the closet.
I haven't come out again since, but a few close friends still know about how I feel and continue to support and encourage me in private.
I'm used to being perceived as a woman because that's what I've been my whole life, and I think I've been in the closet for such a long time that I've resigned myself to continue living this way, so I guess my question is does that make me not trans? I can convince myself that being a woman is what makes me happy, but I know deep down that I will always want to be a man. At the same time, I've been told that if I'm not depressed or suicidal about not being able to transition either socially or surgically, that means I'm not actually trans.
Does it hurt not being able to live the way I want? Absolutely. Does it hurt knowing I've been able to educate my parents about trans folk since then, but they still refuse to ever acknowledge my own coming out from a couple years ago? Absolutely. Would I come out and begin the process of transitioning if I could financially support myself on my own and ensure I'd be able to leave if I needed to? Absolutely.
I'm just not sure if actually being able to exist as I want is in the cards for me, I guess.
2024.05.16 22:35 Metsfan2 Representation Matters
Hello All, I posted on here about a month ago about my struggle of figuring out my relationship with my husband who is also questioning his sexuality. You can read it here. Appreciated all the kindness received.
Anyway the more I explore this and accept the truth of who I am. The more I realize that #1 you have to talk about it. Whether that’s in therapy, to your friends or to the strangers on the internet. Even all of the above like I’ve been doing. Every time you share, that weight you’ve been carrying lightens a little. #2. The topic of this post and why I’m expanding on my story instead of half sharing the truth. If I can help someone not go through the trouble I have then my internet sharing is worth it.
Going through this journey it’s been really helpful to me to think about my past, present and the most difficult how I see my future.
I’ll start with my past, both behaviors and stuff that made me want to hide those behaviors. Also trigger warning abuse and SA present, but truth helps.
My parents were teen parents and divorced by the time I was 2. I was in custody of my mom who was very unstable. One day she would be amazing and we would read books all day and normal fun mom stuff. Some days she wouldn’t leave bed. Other days she’d have so much uncontrollable anger she’d break everything in our house. It was a dice roll everyday of my childhood on if she was gonna be dead, nice or a raging bitch.
When I was 5 years old, I was obsessed with the Spice Girls. Particularly Sporty Spice. I wanted to be just like her. My mom told me “why can’t you be into any of the other ones that aren’t lesbians” Funny because to my knowledge Mel C is not gay and just prefers to wear athletic clothing. Still not off to a good start.
Pretty much exclusively only played with boys because I could not understand how to relate to girls. Anytime I played pretend or Barbies with girls, I wanted to be Ken or the dad or whatever. That definitely weirded some friends out. So I mainly had friends that were boys that I could play sports with. My mom would always make comments about how hanging out with boys was “unladylike”.
My dad got remarried and my step-mom was not having my little tomboy self. She made my mom look like a saint. Literally forced me to wear makeup and clothes I did not want to wear, by any means necessary. I was smacked by a variety of objects. Told me I would not be allowed to see my dad if I continued to want to “act like a boy” said I was a bad influence on my step - sister. I was literally just existing as I always had with my more stable parent. Unfortunately my dad loves this woman and followed along. It is what it is. Naturally even though I love my half brother and step-sister. I stopped visiting except at extended family holidays.
Through out my childhood my mom would have “boyfriends”. In a sense they were but really these men were people my mom was using for a house or drugs or whatever she thought she was into at the time. So my role model for relationships was sleeping with men will get you where you want to go. Some were very nice, some were extremely not.
Enter my half sisters dad/ my step dad. My mom married him around the time I was going through puberty. He was noticing that I exclusively hung around boys and assumed I was interested. Took it upon himself that he should teach about sex. He started with making me watch porn with him and then would start to suggest I practice stuff with him where it was safe. I was 11. I had learned from dealing with my mom that voicing my feelings just lead to blow ups. So I went a long with it even though I was uncomfortable. Luckily they divorced when I was 13.
So a trauma response when you can’t fight or flee is to disassociate. You just go off in make believe land until the danger passes. My make believe land was always my pretend relationships with girls I had crushes on. Anytime throughout childhood that’s where my mind went when I was stressed.
By the time I got to high school I had started having trouble making friends. I couldn’t hang out with guys anymore because they naturally wanted hook up with me. I couldn’t hang out with girls because I couldn’t separate attraction and jealousy from friendship. No home life. This ended up with me attempting suicide my sophomore year.
Luckily I survived. I stay kinda quiet but I’m able to find an outlet in sports and I am so thankful for that. Once I found out sports scholarships were a thing, and could help me escape my home I was all in.I also at this time began the same pattern as my mom. I was dating a boy who was two years older than me and living on his own. I lived with him and put up with intimacy because I was out of my house. He dumped me when he found out I was going out of state for college. He was also always very jealous I was excelling at my sport and getting offers.
College I joined a sorority and started hooking up with lots of guys. In my head it wasn’t that I wasn’t attracted to men. It was that I was afraid of sex due to my childhood and I could exposure therapy myself into liking it. As you can guess that doesn’t work. I stopped because it was not helping my emotional well being whatsoever. I told myself the next guy I hook up with is going to be someone I “love”.
I met my now husband 2 years after graduating college. He was perfect. He was not actively trying to get me to have sex with him ever. We had similar experiences of not being able to connect with others in school. We truly enjoy each other’s company. We can’t figure out sex though. I thought it was just an aversion because of my traumatic childhood. Not being attracted to him never crossed my mind.
So now the present. You can only repress yourself so long. On paper my life looks incredible. Stable job, husband is enjoyable to be around, upper middle class shit. Literally the life I longed for as a child. But I feel empty, trapped, stuck. I’m still disassociating with fake women relationships all the time. Thoughts I assumed would just go away when I got married, they don’t.
I think the best thing that’s helped me lately navigating this is asking myself “am I doing this because I want to or because I think someone else wants me to”. Is it because I’m scared of reaction or because I want this. I’ve kind of come to the conclusion that if I’m worried about my husband’s feelings at the expense of my own, I’m never going to have fulfillment or feel like I’m living life.
I still have a lot to unpack and deal with because I still am afraid of homosexuality due to the literal beating of it out of me. What I can tell you is at least accepting I’m attracted to women has given me a confidence I have never felt in my life. I look forward to finding out more of who I am, when I’m not avoiding others reactions. I am so grateful I stumbled on this community. I encourage everyone to keep sharing. You never know who you may be helping.
submitted by Metsfan2 to latebloomerlesbians [link] [comments]
Anyway the more I explore this and accept the truth of who I am. The more I realize that #1 you have to talk about it. Whether that’s in therapy, to your friends or to the strangers on the internet. Even all of the above like I’ve been doing. Every time you share, that weight you’ve been carrying lightens a little. #2. The topic of this post and why I’m expanding on my story instead of half sharing the truth. If I can help someone not go through the trouble I have then my internet sharing is worth it.
Going through this journey it’s been really helpful to me to think about my past, present and the most difficult how I see my future.
I’ll start with my past, both behaviors and stuff that made me want to hide those behaviors. Also trigger warning abuse and SA present, but truth helps.
My parents were teen parents and divorced by the time I was 2. I was in custody of my mom who was very unstable. One day she would be amazing and we would read books all day and normal fun mom stuff. Some days she wouldn’t leave bed. Other days she’d have so much uncontrollable anger she’d break everything in our house. It was a dice roll everyday of my childhood on if she was gonna be dead, nice or a raging bitch.
When I was 5 years old, I was obsessed with the Spice Girls. Particularly Sporty Spice. I wanted to be just like her. My mom told me “why can’t you be into any of the other ones that aren’t lesbians” Funny because to my knowledge Mel C is not gay and just prefers to wear athletic clothing. Still not off to a good start.
Pretty much exclusively only played with boys because I could not understand how to relate to girls. Anytime I played pretend or Barbies with girls, I wanted to be Ken or the dad or whatever. That definitely weirded some friends out. So I mainly had friends that were boys that I could play sports with. My mom would always make comments about how hanging out with boys was “unladylike”.
My dad got remarried and my step-mom was not having my little tomboy self. She made my mom look like a saint. Literally forced me to wear makeup and clothes I did not want to wear, by any means necessary. I was smacked by a variety of objects. Told me I would not be allowed to see my dad if I continued to want to “act like a boy” said I was a bad influence on my step - sister. I was literally just existing as I always had with my more stable parent. Unfortunately my dad loves this woman and followed along. It is what it is. Naturally even though I love my half brother and step-sister. I stopped visiting except at extended family holidays.
Through out my childhood my mom would have “boyfriends”. In a sense they were but really these men were people my mom was using for a house or drugs or whatever she thought she was into at the time. So my role model for relationships was sleeping with men will get you where you want to go. Some were very nice, some were extremely not.
Enter my half sisters dad/ my step dad. My mom married him around the time I was going through puberty. He was noticing that I exclusively hung around boys and assumed I was interested. Took it upon himself that he should teach about sex. He started with making me watch porn with him and then would start to suggest I practice stuff with him where it was safe. I was 11. I had learned from dealing with my mom that voicing my feelings just lead to blow ups. So I went a long with it even though I was uncomfortable. Luckily they divorced when I was 13.
So a trauma response when you can’t fight or flee is to disassociate. You just go off in make believe land until the danger passes. My make believe land was always my pretend relationships with girls I had crushes on. Anytime throughout childhood that’s where my mind went when I was stressed.
By the time I got to high school I had started having trouble making friends. I couldn’t hang out with guys anymore because they naturally wanted hook up with me. I couldn’t hang out with girls because I couldn’t separate attraction and jealousy from friendship. No home life. This ended up with me attempting suicide my sophomore year.
Luckily I survived. I stay kinda quiet but I’m able to find an outlet in sports and I am so thankful for that. Once I found out sports scholarships were a thing, and could help me escape my home I was all in.I also at this time began the same pattern as my mom. I was dating a boy who was two years older than me and living on his own. I lived with him and put up with intimacy because I was out of my house. He dumped me when he found out I was going out of state for college. He was also always very jealous I was excelling at my sport and getting offers.
College I joined a sorority and started hooking up with lots of guys. In my head it wasn’t that I wasn’t attracted to men. It was that I was afraid of sex due to my childhood and I could exposure therapy myself into liking it. As you can guess that doesn’t work. I stopped because it was not helping my emotional well being whatsoever. I told myself the next guy I hook up with is going to be someone I “love”.
I met my now husband 2 years after graduating college. He was perfect. He was not actively trying to get me to have sex with him ever. We had similar experiences of not being able to connect with others in school. We truly enjoy each other’s company. We can’t figure out sex though. I thought it was just an aversion because of my traumatic childhood. Not being attracted to him never crossed my mind.
So now the present. You can only repress yourself so long. On paper my life looks incredible. Stable job, husband is enjoyable to be around, upper middle class shit. Literally the life I longed for as a child. But I feel empty, trapped, stuck. I’m still disassociating with fake women relationships all the time. Thoughts I assumed would just go away when I got married, they don’t.
I think the best thing that’s helped me lately navigating this is asking myself “am I doing this because I want to or because I think someone else wants me to”. Is it because I’m scared of reaction or because I want this. I’ve kind of come to the conclusion that if I’m worried about my husband’s feelings at the expense of my own, I’m never going to have fulfillment or feel like I’m living life.
I still have a lot to unpack and deal with because I still am afraid of homosexuality due to the literal beating of it out of me. What I can tell you is at least accepting I’m attracted to women has given me a confidence I have never felt in my life. I look forward to finding out more of who I am, when I’m not avoiding others reactions. I am so grateful I stumbled on this community. I encourage everyone to keep sharing. You never know who you may be helping.
2024.05.16 22:35 lulufzulu AP Reflection
On Sunday I got back from my first AP experience. I posted on here about it prior to leaving the country but thought I’d do recap on the whole experience.
I applied for employment reasons. My company is based in London UK, and I work out of a small NYC satellite office. The application was submitted in early January and approved in early April. I was gone from April 28 to May 12th.
I prepared my application myself and asked my work for supporting materials and to pay the fee which they agreed to. The supporting documents I used was a letter from my manager with the company letterhead explaining the purposes of the trip, email correspondences between him and our department head requesting the trip and having it approved, and an outline of the trip’s mission that he had to submit to finance to get it approved internally.
I asked for two weeks even though the trip would only be one work week so that I could do sight seeing and I also included France in the list of countries so I could go to Paris.
I talk about this in my original post, but as the trip was approaching and I hadn’t heard back my company was getting worried. I reached out to my senators and congresswoman for help. One of my senators got back to me and her office helped a lot. They basically got it approved within two weeks of me reaching out.
The letter gave me over a month of travel time, but I decided to stick to the two weeks I had planned. If I had known way in advance they’d give me more time I prob would have stayed an extra week.
Entering the UK was really easy I got asked if I was a permanent resident in the US, and said no not yet but I have a work permit, and that was about it. Lasted two minutes. After my work week I took the EuroStar to Paris and had no issues with customs. I decided to go back to London after a few days and fly out from there, thinking it would be safer since that was the main country in my AP application but probably would not have made a difference. Leaving Paris was weird, I had to go through two customs, one for leaving France/EU and one for entering the UK. Again no issues with the UK one, but the EU Customs person was very suspect of me. Demanded to see my work permit, and called out the fact that it said not valid for re-entry. I explained I had AP and that it was in my luggage. He made me take my baseball cap off to verify I was the person in the photo, and I after he stamped my passport he just stared at it for 20 seconds before giving it back. Really weird considering I was LEAVING not entering the EU.
I was really nervous coming back to the US. I kept thinking I was gonna get in trouble for going to Paris even though I listed France in the countries section of my application. I got to the airport three plus hours before boarding to check in. The check in was a little long because they rarely deal with AP but everyone at the airline was super nice and I didn’t get push back, just a lot of people double checking with their superiors that the document was legit. When I landed at JFK the process was super smooth. I waited in the non us passport line and when it was my turn I gave the customs person my passport, AP letter, and EAD, she did some things on her end and after a few minutes said I had to go to the back room for someone to processes it. Luckily the room was empty, so it took the guy there like less than five minutes. Neither of them asked me any questions. They seemed to just know what to do.
Overall, I’m so shocked and grateful by how smoothly everything went. I can’t believe I got to go to two foreign countries. Like little old me, just a humble DACA kid, saw Big Ben, Buckingham Palace, the Mona Lisa and the Eiffel Tower. Feels surreal. If anyone needs any assistance with AP, feel encouraged to reach out. This subreddit helped me so much and alleviated so much of my stress and anxiety, and I want to contribute to that and help others if I can.
Biggest feedback I can give: You do not need a lawyer, use your congresspeople as a resource if you need to, and most importantly, enjoy your trip! You deserve it!
submitted by lulufzulu to DACA [link] [comments]
I applied for employment reasons. My company is based in London UK, and I work out of a small NYC satellite office. The application was submitted in early January and approved in early April. I was gone from April 28 to May 12th.
I prepared my application myself and asked my work for supporting materials and to pay the fee which they agreed to. The supporting documents I used was a letter from my manager with the company letterhead explaining the purposes of the trip, email correspondences between him and our department head requesting the trip and having it approved, and an outline of the trip’s mission that he had to submit to finance to get it approved internally.
I asked for two weeks even though the trip would only be one work week so that I could do sight seeing and I also included France in the list of countries so I could go to Paris.
I talk about this in my original post, but as the trip was approaching and I hadn’t heard back my company was getting worried. I reached out to my senators and congresswoman for help. One of my senators got back to me and her office helped a lot. They basically got it approved within two weeks of me reaching out.
The letter gave me over a month of travel time, but I decided to stick to the two weeks I had planned. If I had known way in advance they’d give me more time I prob would have stayed an extra week.
Entering the UK was really easy I got asked if I was a permanent resident in the US, and said no not yet but I have a work permit, and that was about it. Lasted two minutes. After my work week I took the EuroStar to Paris and had no issues with customs. I decided to go back to London after a few days and fly out from there, thinking it would be safer since that was the main country in my AP application but probably would not have made a difference. Leaving Paris was weird, I had to go through two customs, one for leaving France/EU and one for entering the UK. Again no issues with the UK one, but the EU Customs person was very suspect of me. Demanded to see my work permit, and called out the fact that it said not valid for re-entry. I explained I had AP and that it was in my luggage. He made me take my baseball cap off to verify I was the person in the photo, and I after he stamped my passport he just stared at it for 20 seconds before giving it back. Really weird considering I was LEAVING not entering the EU.
I was really nervous coming back to the US. I kept thinking I was gonna get in trouble for going to Paris even though I listed France in the countries section of my application. I got to the airport three plus hours before boarding to check in. The check in was a little long because they rarely deal with AP but everyone at the airline was super nice and I didn’t get push back, just a lot of people double checking with their superiors that the document was legit. When I landed at JFK the process was super smooth. I waited in the non us passport line and when it was my turn I gave the customs person my passport, AP letter, and EAD, she did some things on her end and after a few minutes said I had to go to the back room for someone to processes it. Luckily the room was empty, so it took the guy there like less than five minutes. Neither of them asked me any questions. They seemed to just know what to do.
Overall, I’m so shocked and grateful by how smoothly everything went. I can’t believe I got to go to two foreign countries. Like little old me, just a humble DACA kid, saw Big Ben, Buckingham Palace, the Mona Lisa and the Eiffel Tower. Feels surreal. If anyone needs any assistance with AP, feel encouraged to reach out. This subreddit helped me so much and alleviated so much of my stress and anxiety, and I want to contribute to that and help others if I can.
Biggest feedback I can give: You do not need a lawyer, use your congresspeople as a resource if you need to, and most importantly, enjoy your trip! You deserve it!
2024.05.16 22:35 KassyKeil91 “Ask 3 Before Me”
Have to laugh at this. One of the classes I’m teaching this year (outside my content area) is basically a study skills/organization class for 6th graders. We cover things like planners, different styles of note taking, how to write emails to your teachers, etc. It’s kinda a dumb class and everything is provided by the district, so it’s a very mixed bag in terms of being useful.
Today, we went over the rule “ask 3 before me”—meaning, you should consider at least 3 other sources (other classmates, re-reading directions, online resources, etc) before asking your teacher. The assignment had them going through some of those sources and rating them based on how helpful they thought it would be.
Y’all. As they were doing the assignment about trying to not just ask your teacher, they still could not be bothered to try any of the options listed. When I pushed back, one kid literally started arguing because she would just rather ask a teacher. She got annoyed when I wouldn’t remind her what Wikipedia was and told her to google it. 😂
submitted by KassyKeil91 to Teachers [link] [comments]
Today, we went over the rule “ask 3 before me”—meaning, you should consider at least 3 other sources (other classmates, re-reading directions, online resources, etc) before asking your teacher. The assignment had them going through some of those sources and rating them based on how helpful they thought it would be.
Y’all. As they were doing the assignment about trying to not just ask your teacher, they still could not be bothered to try any of the options listed. When I pushed back, one kid literally started arguing because she would just rather ask a teacher. She got annoyed when I wouldn’t remind her what Wikipedia was and told her to google it. 😂
2024.05.16 22:35 Aromatic-Buy-2567 MIL not including step kids
Hi, so right now we’re very low contact with JNMIL. She’s said and done some pretty awful things, the latest is includes posting “happy birthday” messages to all my husband’s ex’s but not me, messaging husband’s coparent and getting her involved since “I won’t let her speak to her own son”, getting his siblings to send messages for her, and messaging me directly to say that her family has never been so torn apart since I came into the picture. Taken one at a time, we just brush it off and maintain our boundaries, but it’s piling up. Husband has told her that she needs to realize her role in the damage and make things right before there will be any more visits or real conversation and she continues to push that boundary while saying she hasn’t done anything wrong. So we’re holding the line.
Today she sneakily dropped gifts on our porch, trying unsuccessfully to avoid our camera. She messaged husband saying it’s birthday and Easter gifts that she didn’t get to give. Aside from how annoying that is, we realized they are only gifts for my husband’s daughter, nothing for my kids from a previous relationship. I’m hurt. My kids are hurt. I know we can’t demand that she include all the kids and I can’t make her see us as family but man it bites. It sucks for the kids, it sucks that I can’t heal this part, and it sucks that it hurts my husband. The more this goes on, the more I wonder if we’re ever going to be able to sort through all this and come out the other side. I’ve said it before, but right now it just…. sucks.
submitted by Aromatic-Buy-2567 to JUSTNOMIL [link] [comments]
Today she sneakily dropped gifts on our porch, trying unsuccessfully to avoid our camera. She messaged husband saying it’s birthday and Easter gifts that she didn’t get to give. Aside from how annoying that is, we realized they are only gifts for my husband’s daughter, nothing for my kids from a previous relationship. I’m hurt. My kids are hurt. I know we can’t demand that she include all the kids and I can’t make her see us as family but man it bites. It sucks for the kids, it sucks that I can’t heal this part, and it sucks that it hurts my husband. The more this goes on, the more I wonder if we’re ever going to be able to sort through all this and come out the other side. I’ve said it before, but right now it just…. sucks.
2024.05.16 22:34 crazybrunchlady Baby Boy has arrived!
On April 26th, I went in for my routine 37 week check up. We also did an ultrasound due to a cholestasis diagnosis that had occurred on Monday. My amniotic fluid had gone from 10cm on Monday to 5.1cm on Friday. Based on a pH read, they determined I was not actively leaking fluid, but were unable to determine the cause of the fluid loss. I was immediately sent to triage. After a few hours in triage waiting for my liver test results, we were told that I was being admitted and wouldn't be leaving the hospital without a baby.
The induction started at 1830 on the 26th with cytotec being placed. After 4 hours, I was 1.5-2cm dilated and 80% effaced, so they started pitocin. The pitocin was increased throughout the night, and there was no notable pain. My contractions didn't get spicy until after they broke my water around 1130 on the 27th. Around 1430, the contractions were strong enough that it was epidural time. From there, I was moved around the peanut ball to get things going. Fast forward to 1830, and it was time to push. Baby Boy was born at 2057 on the 27th at 7lbs,2.5oz and 19.75in.
I was really nervous about getting induced, but my birth experience was very positive despite occurring 3 weeks early. Baby Boy is doing great, and we were home two days after he was born!
His original due date coincided with when a miscarriage I had last year started, so it is nice that he has his own day.
submitted by crazybrunchlady to pregnant [link] [comments]
The induction started at 1830 on the 26th with cytotec being placed. After 4 hours, I was 1.5-2cm dilated and 80% effaced, so they started pitocin. The pitocin was increased throughout the night, and there was no notable pain. My contractions didn't get spicy until after they broke my water around 1130 on the 27th. Around 1430, the contractions were strong enough that it was epidural time. From there, I was moved around the peanut ball to get things going. Fast forward to 1830, and it was time to push. Baby Boy was born at 2057 on the 27th at 7lbs,2.5oz and 19.75in.
I was really nervous about getting induced, but my birth experience was very positive despite occurring 3 weeks early. Baby Boy is doing great, and we were home two days after he was born!
His original due date coincided with when a miscarriage I had last year started, so it is nice that he has his own day.
2024.05.16 22:34 OrganicHumanRancher Here, Reasons Uncertain
I’m not sure why I’m posting here. I miss blogging, but I know no one will read this. I’m tired of Facebook. Just being bombarded with junk, posts from extended family I haven’t seen in a while or barely know, and friends I’m barely in contact with that have moved on with their lives.
Only one person I ever see on a regular basis. I can blame distance, a fight between two people, quitting drinking, someone’s illness, Covid restrictions, family priorities, or differing interests. Some things that can’t be helped, but most could. It’s complicated, and it’s not.
So much I want to say, but don’t. I lamented this situation on Facebook and got virtual hugs back. Just like the happy birthdays, a simple feature to click on. They used to try more, and so did I. But I was never great at trying. I was pretty good, I think, at showing up for the big things, or when things went bad, or when few showed up. All the other things.. I don’t know.
And I kind of suck at making friends, even online. I used to be fatalistic about a lot, but I think I’ve grown tired of my own shit.
So here I am.. for whatever fucking reason.
submitted by OrganicHumanRancher to u/OrganicHumanRancher [link] [comments]
Only one person I ever see on a regular basis. I can blame distance, a fight between two people, quitting drinking, someone’s illness, Covid restrictions, family priorities, or differing interests. Some things that can’t be helped, but most could. It’s complicated, and it’s not.
So much I want to say, but don’t. I lamented this situation on Facebook and got virtual hugs back. Just like the happy birthdays, a simple feature to click on. They used to try more, and so did I. But I was never great at trying. I was pretty good, I think, at showing up for the big things, or when things went bad, or when few showed up. All the other things.. I don’t know.
And I kind of suck at making friends, even online. I used to be fatalistic about a lot, but I think I’ve grown tired of my own shit.
So here I am.. for whatever fucking reason.
2024.05.16 22:34 Major-Researcher1340 (20F) East coast of US or Canada only, I want to find the love of my soul already.
Hoyi there :3. I am on a grand quest to find love, on the hunt for the most important role in my life to be filled and to fill that for someone else, and that is to be partners (Aka future Spouses, Aka Love for eternity. That whole thing)
Couple ground rules. These are NON NEGOTIABLE AT ALL NOT NEGOTIABLE
What I like (hobbies wise get your head out of the gutter mf!!!)
1 Be extremely affectionate. Please please PLEASE expect and want to be the cutest most affectionate most adorable guy on the planet with me, because thats what I will do with you. Please please love all the cute stuff and dont shy back
2 Please be under 6 foot tall. I know it sounds shallow but Im really short guys please ;-;
3 Please be on the skinnier side. Im small!!!! AHHHH
5 please be serious. I swear. Do not bother me if you want to fool around. In addition respond with a small description of yourself. You dont need to write a ton but dont just say 'hey 😏' either because nope. Just hard pass
6 Love animals. Simple as that
Ok thats all I can think of. Can't wait to hopefully finally meet you my dear. Please. Let's just love each other forever.
(Did you notice number 4 is missing? 🤭 :P)
submitted by Major-Researcher1340 to ForeverAloneDating [link] [comments]
Couple ground rules. These are NON NEGOTIABLE AT ALL NOT NEGOTIABLE
- Never EVER want human kids. Dont have them with you now and never want them please. Please be 100% child free not NEGOTIABLE.
- MALE between 19-23. NO ABSOLUTELY NO one older or younger. Hard rule. Very HARD rule.
- East coast prefered. HEAVILY prefered! Bonus points if you are in the tristate area but east coast is alright
What I like (hobbies wise get your head out of the gutter mf!!!)
- I LOVE ANIMALS ANIMALS ARE MY LIFE
- I love houseplants a ton
- I love nature in general and the woods
- I play some video games
- I am into anime and other medias, not social media though, most is cancer!
1 Be extremely affectionate. Please please PLEASE expect and want to be the cutest most affectionate most adorable guy on the planet with me, because thats what I will do with you. Please please love all the cute stuff and dont shy back
2 Please be under 6 foot tall. I know it sounds shallow but Im really short guys please ;-;
3 Please be on the skinnier side. Im small!!!! AHHHH
5 please be serious. I swear. Do not bother me if you want to fool around. In addition respond with a small description of yourself. You dont need to write a ton but dont just say 'hey 😏' either because nope. Just hard pass
6 Love animals. Simple as that
Ok thats all I can think of. Can't wait to hopefully finally meet you my dear. Please. Let's just love each other forever.
(Did you notice number 4 is missing? 🤭 :P)