Before I start raving about how awesome sauna is I should mention that I study in Finland as a foreigner so going to sauna together, usually naked, is a very common cultural event that is not just for hanging out but also work meetings, so it was actually pretty sad that I didn't dare join for years because I missed out on many events.
But now about yesterday...
We were working on a project and then when we were finished went into sauna.
I was all awkward at the start just changing with the other girls into a bathing suit, trying to hide my body. Then we went in and...
It was such a lovely experience and I feel like I am closer now to all of my friends!
I went in with a bathing suit and towel, others went only with a towel or just naked, no one made me feel bad about wearing the suit or covering up...I felt so comfortable with our conversation and sitting with everyone that I ended up taking off my bathing suit when we went to cool off on the rooftop for a bit, only keeping the towel.
I have to admit that it was also hilarious to see the sausage parade right on the edge of the building facing the business department lol
We went into the sauna again and I just...went for it! I just let the towel drop around me without a care in the world, not thinking about it or feeling awkward for a second!
When we went outside again with everyone I just went naked! It was absolutely lovely. I feel a lot more confident now about stuff like my hip dips, cellulite or my little belly because everyone there had it and no one was paying any attention whatsoever!
I cannot wait to go again :D
I also texted back a friend who was asking to go on a date with me...I felt way under his league and that I wasn't physically attractive enough even if he likes my personality, but somehow the sauna gave me the confidence to just text back in the heat of the moment (pun intended)!
TL;DR Finnish sauna culture rules and I love all the people that are so friendly and kind when initiating foreigners into the fold, especially my wonderful friends wh made me feel so much better about my body!

Last time I played it as Sweden, wrote no-neutrality cheat and started conquering neutral countries to get some industry and create an experienced light-panzer mobile divisions from scratch to allow for any major surrounding operations to win battles.
In HoI 3, as a minor nation its better to kinda develop only light tanks from the start and keep them up to date to not divert your research power into medium ones.. Although, in 1941 I had small amount of manpower avaible so I wasn't able to spam new divisions so I've built a licencsed Heavy Tank brigade from Germany because they had 5 speed so I've added some Cavalry and Rocket artillery and created a 5-speed division xD The heavy tank was King Tiger already lol.
I've joined Axis and went on the war with USSR because I messed the game a bit and Germany didnt do Barbarossa so I had to declare war on 1941 before USSR grows even more powerful.
Ofc despite surrounding a bunch of soviet armies with my high IQ operations at first, using a bunch of tricks and traps I thought I'd win the north front but no matter what I've done, they just redirected new and new divisions to fill the gaps and they also often escaped total surroundings, the AI is good in this one and knows when to retreat from the battle :o
Everything was going fine untill I literally ran out of man-power and the European front of my Axis allies froze into a WW-1 style battle.
I had to cheat a bit, first I've added half of Finnish, Norwegian and Estonian generals into my save file because I ran out of generals so I made them colaborate with me, it ended up with Mannerheim serving in a grand Swedish army xD
Also, the AI didnt react well to my conquering neutral countries, they only attacked Ireland XD The rest of them, I covered with a Militia brigade xD
It was fun save-scumming against the British fleet but finally, I ran into the problem - I was running out of resources and once the USA joined, their subs anihilitated my transports. I had to cheat add them but no matter what, it got low and low again.
To the point I knew I just have to cheat and replace them in huge numbers alongside escorts or I'll lose the tiny amount of resources I had from the abroad colonies.
Sooo, I had some issues with the game like naval transports being OP and unrealistic, IRL I heard once it took like a month and a major disorganisation to unload a big troops convoy through a tiny harbor or something like this, in this game you can yeeet your troops with naval transports left and right and do backdoor strikes in hours xD
I kinda wanted to start a new game, but this time just limit myself to conquering the Scandinavia and Baltics, join Axis and speed up to see what would happen xD
If not, I'd have to conquer the Africa first alpngside Italy to secure the resources cause as you saw, the war with USSR is an attrition warfare.
But I already know the vanilia experience, maybe I'll start the Black Ice mod? :P
Oh, I also remember another "realistic" cheat of mine. I've checked and Germany still had 1K manpower left... when I had like 20 left.. I removed some from them and added it into my pool and I saw it as "german voluunters going to the north to support the depleted scandinavian army", I've added like 50 at first but I ran out of them in some normal battles and I think I later had to add even more XD
I remember I also had to protect Germany from strategic bombings with my fighters.
As I remember, tactical bombing didnt do much in this game if you werent focused on its technologies when strategic bombardment destroyed some of the German cities so it was better for me to set my fighters on watch there lol. At least they were able to rebuild the industry and the AI got scared of my fighters or something cause it stopped attacking as much.
I also think I gotta add into the technology of Destroyers, Im not sure Im going to have colonies in this game but still... Last game, I didnt invest into any Destroyers but Cruisers + subs because hey, theyre powerful and can intercept enemy convoys and I think I had some Heavy Cruisers I built.
This time, naval-wise Im only going to research and produce Destroyers to see if modern up-to-date versions can intercept enemy submarines lol.

My Finnish friends say that the easiest way to go on dates is going on dating apps, but the act of swiping on people's faces makes me so anxious. The other issue is that I am so uncomfortable making eye contact with strangers which means I would only attract people that have no sense of social cues: anyone with a bit of self respect would not approach someone that shows no interest in them obviously.
Anyway, I am posting in here because I want to read people's dating stories in Finland (both local and international), what has worked for you and what has not, what you think of dating a person from another country, and how did you approach/get approached in-real-life, if this has happened.

Okay. I don't know if this is the right place to post this but my boyfriend was encouraging me to soo..
Background: I'm an 18 year old swedish girl, i live in Sweden, both my parents are swedish, my little brother decided to take a dna test and we were literally just 80% swedish and the rest like finnish and other Scandinavian countries. What I'm trying to say is that I'm "white" (I feel a little odd using the term, it's not really how ethnicity is talked about in Europe I feel, but I'll just use the term to make sense to everyone here. Talking to other Europeans I just say I'm swedish.)
I've always been intrigued by East Asian cultures. My dad did a lot of traveling for his work when I was little, and having him bring me back stuff as gifts from Japan and China definitely made up for him being gone a lot (lol). I'm a naturally curious person. I've never been partial or adverse to dating outside my race, but I definitely have a preference for dating outside my culture. I've purposely sought out people who don't speak swedish or have parents not from here. I find it so fun to learn about a new culture and hear about a person's experiences growing up and living differently from me. My first boyfriend's mom was Romanian and we spoke mostly English with each other as he didn't live here when he was little. I really enjoyed that. I had flings with two French boys and an Icelandic girl after that (and before my current boyfriend<333)
However, When it came to asian guys, I was a lot more shy. My first impression of Asian men, in a romantic context, was my dad telling me after a Japan work trip that the women there found him really attractive, and would approach him lots, but that the case was not that for his female colleague. He then concluded this was because white men are just most masculine looking than Asian men (eek) and that's why Asian women, whom he added are a lot more feminine than white women, are attracted to white men. He also said that the Asian men prefered feminine women, and therefore do not go for white women.
Okay I know that's a lot, but my dad is literally from the 60's. I don't agree with him now about most of that, but keep in mind I was literally 8 or 9 when he said this, so I just took what he said as fact, as I respected my dad and ofcourse knew nothing about the topic.
The only asians I knew on a personal level growing up were Asian girls, whom I went to school with. I had my previous impression of Asian guys as off-limits (because they would think I'm ugly) reaffirmed when I was 14-15. I was at a Cafe with an Asian girl friend of mine. I saw a really attractive Asian guy a couple tables away by himself. I said to her he was really attractive and I was thinking of approaching him. She immediately was like "no you shouldn't do that, he's just going to reject you". I inquired as to why and she said it was cause "Asian guys don't like swedish (white) girls". So, I didn't approach him. What I find odd about this now is that she couldn't possibly have been saying that cause she wanted to talk to him, she had a boyfriend, and he was also white. Idk just rubs me the wrong way.
I feel a little silly never asking an Asian guy if this was actually the case or not, but I really did just not know any, and had at this point gotten this claim thrown at me by two trusted sources. So, after this, even when Asian guys approached me, I turned them down. I feel really stupid saying this, but I turned them down cause I felt like I wouldn't meet their standards, that they secretly found me ugly, and maybe were just approaching me as a last option. Nobody wants to feel that the person they're with finds them unattractive physically.
Well, so, uh, I ended up finding out this was not true(?) (My boyfriend says!) (and guys here seem to indicate!). I meet my boyfriend on tinder. Even though I was a little hesitant to go on dates with Asian guys, just because of my impression of their opinions on white girls, I did go on a date with him (because he's so perfect and hot). We've been dating since new years now and it's great. We never fight, we compliment each other very well. He's super considerate and nice. He's best guy I've ever been with. Funnily enough he showed me he posted here for feedback on his tinder profile. People were so harsh (I thought it was great?!).
Anyway, my boyfriend told me I should post this to get all of your guys impression of my experience. I have a hard time thinking I'm the only girl who was/is under this impression. There's so much emphasis on how feminine and cute Asian girls are in the culture, I think that kind of impacts too how white girls think of themselves in the context of being open to dating asian men.
Note: Idk why my autocorrect is capitalizing "asian" but I do not have the motivation to go back and fix it (and I don't even know if it's incorrect or not.)

Babez For Breakfast is available on vinyl for the very first time as a limited edition of 666 individually numbered copies on blood red and black marbled vinyl and comes with a sticker sheet and a 4-page booklet.
RELEASE DATE: June 21, 2024 All pre-orders will be shipped several days before the official release.

• 180 gram audiophile vinyl
• Sleeve with gloss laminate finish
• Includes sticker sheet and 4-page booklet
• The fifth studio album by the Finnish hard rock band that won the 2006 Eurovision Song Contest
• Featuring the single "This Is Heavy Metal"
• With guest appearances by Bruce Kulick (KISS) and Mark Slaughter (Slaughter) and production by Michael Wagener
• Available on vinyl for the first time
• Limited edition of 666 individually numbered copies on blood red & black marbled vinyl

Pre order: (First 200 copies are exclusively available in this Lordi shop)
https://sound-factory.nl/collections/lordi/products/lordi-babez-for-breakfast

Hey everyone, the May release cycle is about to begin and so it's time for the monthly list! This month is big like April was but in a very different way, focusing on originality and hype rather than sheer size. This month is defined by the release of some of the most wishlisted projects in existence, the 3rd, 4th, and 5th most wishlisted metroidvanias to be more precise, all at once! In general, the first half is dominated by pixel artstyle highly original metroidvanias while the second half is dominated by big mainline releases. Anyway, lets begin!

• ANIMAL WELL - 9 May: This retro artstyle metroidvania is one for those of you who mistakenly think the genre is going stale. You want originality? You got it. This is a metroidvania unlike any other. The only game even remotely similar to this is Rainworld but that game is not even a metroidvania. i think you need to just click the link and see the trailer for yourself (EPILEPSY WARNING). This is the 4th most wishlisted metroidvania on steam for a reason and after a very long period of development it is finally coming out. update: confirmed to be the biggest indie metroidvania success story in at least 2.5 years.
• You are Peter Shorts - 10 May: An 8 bit metroidvania where you play as an armless man who got captured by the government, sent to Area 51, and cloned. You have to rescue clones... and also fight clones. Yeah, this is quite silly but also VERY original and features a sound track that is authentically 8 bit (2A03+FDS) and incredibly good (seriously, listen to the music in the two trailers). According to the game's description the combat in this game is going to be similar to FIST. It also features a co-op mode for up to 2 players. It also features a super smash bros style multiplayer for up to 4 players, a postgame randomizer, and even unlockable bonus games. This has the potential to become a modern classic comparable to shovel knight (but a metroidvania). update: Appears to be really similar to tres-bashers, for better or worse. reception is mixed as a result of this and the game containing too many faults from the 8 bit era of video games. The dev should probably have watched episodes of "angry video game nerd" before releasing this game.
• Realm of I - 15 May: As a finnish indie metroidvania I suppose it is not too surprising that this 16 bit metroidvania feels so much like environmental station alpha and Noita, two other famous finnish indie games. This has a focus on an oppressively dark and isolating world full of secrets to unravel and explore along with ranged combat focusing on spell casting.
• Arcane Assembly - 17 May: Speaking of spell casting, Arcane assembly is coming out this month as well. In this highly original 16 bit metroidvania not only will be casting spells, you will be CRAFTING them too!
• Genopanic- 17 May: Out of nowhere, another metroid-like has suddenly gotten a release date.. and its in May! This 16 bit metroidvania has previously been featured in a steam next fest where it got a middling reception but there is reason to believe the full release will be significantly better. This is also another project that has been under development for a significant amount of time. update: not a metroidvania!
• Gestalt: Steam & Cinder - 21 May: At long last, Gestalt is finally coming out. This gorgeous 16 bit steampunk metroidvania has been under development for an ungodly amount of time, becoming one of the oldest games in many people's wishlists. It was featured in the October 2022 steam next fest where it was widely considered to be the best metroidvania demo of that fest. Since then it has grown to become the 5th most wishlisted metroidvania on steam and the 6th most followed one. delayed.
• Venture to the Vile - 22 May: After so many releases with an 8 bit or 16 bit artstyle you may be wanting something else for a change. This victorian 2.5D metroidvania will provide that change. In here, everyone is wearing animal masks for some reason. these masks do however do a great job of subtly projecting the personalities of their characters. This game is most similar to the last case of benedict Fox, but with less Lovecraftian themes and a simpler artstyle.
• Nine Sols - 29 May: The second final metroidvania to come out this month is none other than the third most wishlisted and third most followed metroidvania on steam. There hasn't really been a release with this much anticipation behind it since at least 2021. With that in mind, it is important to note that this gorgeous game inspired by taoist mythology and based on chinese culture is a SOULSLIKE metroidvania, one inspired by Sekiro. Yeah, sure, it doesn't have the same copy paste themes and graphics you find in most soulslike metroidvanias and it looks very original, but it is a soulslike metroidvania nonetheless. As such, you are advised to play the demo before you buy this one if you're not a soulslike fan.
• Overbowed - 31 May: Rounding up this month we have overbowed, a gameboy inspired 8 bit metroidvania that has some of the best graphics I've ever seen in a gameboy inspired metroidvania. The music is pretty great as well!

Aside from these releases we have a few interesting things happening in the indiesphere: A zeldalike/dungeon crawler hybrid called Pampas & Selene: The Maze of Demons is coming out on the 21st of May. Meanwhile in the experimental retro FPS realm, MULLET MADJACK is coming out on the 15 of May along with SELACO which is entering early access on the 31st of May. Speaking of early access, a metroidvania called Cosmic: a Journey Among Shadow has just entered early access.
And that's it! See you in the next list which should be coming in around a week.
Edit: added Overbowed to the list. And before you ask: All dates are in central european time.
Edit2: striked out Gestalt following an unfortunate delay
Edit3: Genopanic has been confirmed by both a early reviewer and the developer to NOT BE A METROIDVANIA. As such it has been striked out as well.

Warning: This update brings savegame-breaking mapchanges.
Tip: You can switch between the Beta and Main release during the beta week to ensure you won't lose your saves. Map changes on the beta but you have a savegame going? Finish your save on the release version then go to the beta. And vice versa.
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Highlights

• The Emporium has cancelled their plan for world domination and retracted their services. Use the Game Rules to go back in time!
• All resources have been rebalanced to fit historical production in 1936!
• Overhauled/reworked focus trees for the Philippines, Dutch East Indies, Tibet, Saudi Arabia and Bhutan!

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Additions

• Tonga, Easter Island and Channel Islands have been added on the map.
• Mauritius now claims Diego Garcia as their own.
• Added a few historical characters to Sinkiang and other cliques.
• Added a character trait to the commander version of Yan Xishan.
• Added the Italian and German invasions of Monaco. Also added the death of Louis II.
• Jordan can now rename itself from the Emirate of Transjordan to the Hashemite Kingdom of Jordan if it controls the west bank. (Doing so will also core any controlled states west of the Jordan river)
• Added a new ruler for communist Germany.
• Added a new formable nation for Ukraine and Ruthenia, the Republic of Greater Ukraine.
• [LaR] Added a new spy to the Soviet Union.
• [LaR] Added two decisions to Francoist Spain featuring concessions to carlists.
• [AAT] Added Deutsche Werke, builder of the Lützow and the Graf Zeppelin as an MIO.
• [ToA] The Inuit state will use the shared arctic military branch.
• Adjusted two define values to reduce in-game CPU usage. (Noticeable for those with weaker CPUs. Not so noticeable change if at all for those with good CPUs)

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Adjustments

• Removed Canadian, South African, Australian and New Zealander TfV trees.
• The Majapahit formable has been replaced by the Pan-Malay Confederation, now also available for the Philippines.
• Nepal no longer starts as a British protectorate.
• Beersheba is now controlled by the Arab forces upon the collapse of the mandate.
• Many nation's have received rebalancing to their population to fit the historical population.
• Xibei San Ma's states have been redrawn to fit both Greater Tibet and Greater Mongolia.
• Tibet's borders have been completely redrawn and they will also start with Arunachal Pradesh (Lhoyü).
• Jafurah state has been added in Arabia, Rub' al Khali has been redrawn and made impassable.
• Some parts of the British Pacific colonies have been transferred to Australia, most notably Nauru and parts of the Solomon Islands.
• Yaren is now the capital of Nauru.
• Many islands and borders regions have received minor tweaks, prominent being the downsized Okinawa.
• Removed Volkswagen and Deutsche Arbeitsfront ideas and merged them into Volksgemeinschaft to reduce idea icon bloat on Germany.
• Tooltip changes for communist and democratic Germany to make the focus effects more easy to understand.
• Many of the world's leaders have abandoned despotism and now strife towards more fitting authoritarian ideologies.
• Implemented the change to the high command commando traits and boosted the generic special forces spirit.
• Made "Versailles Denounced" to be a timed national spirit for Germany.
• [LaR] Carlists should no longer rise up on historical settings.
• [BBA] Haile Selassie will be less reckless and will try to leave Ethiopia a few days earlier.
• [BBA] Slightly buffed the "Temporare Moral Boost" national spirit for Ethiopia.

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Fixes

• Fixed releasing Ukraine forcing you to play as Ukraine.
• Fixed Argentina starting with the wrong leader.
• Fixed multiple small issues in the R56 Lithuania tree.
• Nerfed the Turkish Red Army idea from the R56 Turkey tree to 2% conscription from 10%.
• Fixed the capitulation pictures which had been wrongly implemented last time.
• Fixed a democratic Venezuelan advisor having a missing requirement for recruitment.
• The 1936 Arab Revolt will now trigger at the historical date (19th of April 1936)
• Iraq will no longer get the Israeli ceasefire event if they didn't join the war in the first place.
• Ending Finnish civil wars will return your capital to Helsinki.
• Fixed typos in an event describing an assassination of Hitler.
• Found and buried the evil clone of Jakob Labart. (unless it was the other one? What could possibly go wrong?)
• Added National Spirit that prevents Vichy France from instantly rejoining the Axis upon the completion of the German focus "Case Anton".
• Saarland no longer enters the void when Germany is disunited into Kingdoms by gamerule.
• The Celtic Union will gain a core on the Isle of Mann.
• The Papal States won't trigger the fall of Rome.
• Removed an unexpecte cameo of Francisco Franco in Republican Spain.
• Cuban and Panaman elections of 1936 will now promote a correct candidate.
• Improved timings of several resignations and death events for UK.
• [non-BBA] Added missing branch hiding in the Italian tree.
• [MtG] Fixed a Mexican event granting tank licenses but not taking into account the NSB system.
• [LaR] Franco from now on will not be replaced by his incompetent doppelganger who was only willing to restore the Spanish monarchy.
• [NSB] Fixed two Mexican character with large portraits as their small portrait when they are given a high command role.
• [NSB] Added a missing Ethiopian scripted trigger regarding military academies.
• [NSB] Fixed an oversight in the r56 Ethiopian focus tree caused by a condition originally in the BBA Ethiopian tree.
• [NSB] Issue with the Soviet Non-Communist Civil War has been fixed, countries should now rebel when appropriate once more.
• [ToA] Indigenous tags will not miss starting r56 techs.
• [ToA] Fixed a focus tree overlap when selecting the democratic branch in Argentina.

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Balancing

• Improved and Advanced Equipment conversion Technologies have been removed and had their bonuses transferred over into Machine Tool tech line at a reduced bonus.
• [BBA] - Plane IC cost has been increased across the board, with non-jet engine cost scaling more similar to their performance scaling.
• [BBA] - Medium Airframe 1 and 2 have had their Speed increased.
• [BBA] - Medium Airframe 1, 2 and 3 have had their Air Defense increased.
• [NSB] - Light Tank 1936 has been moved to 1937.

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GFX

• Added new unique capitulation pictures.
• Iran will have the Romanian R1 (actually a Czech tankette).
• Peruvian tank textures (based on Czech tanks).

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AI

• The AI will now field better tank divisions, making those who can field tanks a larger threat, anti-tank may now actually be useful against AI.
• AI will now devote some research slots at appropriate timings for tank, air and artillery research.
• China is now more hesitant to use wargoals on Xinjiang if it is guaranteed by the Soviets.
• Italian AI will avoid stationing lots of troops in East Africa where they are likely to be cut off.
• [BBA] The AI has been told how to design proper planes, this ranges from Fighters and CAS to Medium Bombers.
• [NSB] The AI has been told how to design proper tanks. This is an ongoing process though and it is currently primarily the Major Nations that do these new designs.

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Localization

• Fixed broken localization in Manchurian focus tree.

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Misc

• Removed the "replace" folder with .gfx files, effectively merging its content with the one from parent directory.
• Please check out our 'Credits.txt' links and order of battles for more information about the people, mods and resources that helped develop this project.

​

I’m an american trans man with a finnish (cis) fiancée. i love visiting finland with her and seeing her family that lives there, it’s been really lovely. but the last time i visited i had a terrible experience with border control. my passport gender marker is not changed because im not in the us atm and i literally only just got confirmation that my birth certificate change was granted, so i need to come back to the states before i can change my passport. im fully passing as male as Ive been on t for 8 years and have had surgery. the guy at the Helsinki airport border check took my passport, opened it, laughed at it, and called two other border check guards to look it it. They collectively laughed at my passport and started making snide remarks to each other. I do not speak fluent finnish but i speak some and have been transitioning long enough to know what it looks like when people are talking shit about me. They did give me my passport back and let me through, but i felt terrible, especially when realizing that border control agents aren’t really allowed to do that. We emailed the airport about the incident with the exact date and time, and they apologized but gave a vague sort of “we’ll review policies with the staff” sort of answer. not sure what i’m looking for here, but i feel freaked tf out to go back, even though i want to and love being there. it also just felt terrible lol

So I've just learned of Robinson's Requiem and its sequel - Deus) - from the 90's. Played a bit of RR, it's kinda sci-fi, but not too much, at least not the early game. I was exploring the wilderness, killed some guy, found some kind of crash site, explored it, then something killed me. Good times! First person, crunchy 90's graphics, I like it. The controls are dated - mostly mouse-centered, 90's CRPG controls, with an interactions menu taking up half the screen - and you can't seem to turn while moving, but I haven't played it enough yet, so maybe it's not as bad as it feels. I only wish there were some kind of way to improve graphics, because they're too crunchy even for my tastes (and I don't generally mind crunchy graphics).
Another early survival sim is Wilderness: A Survival Adventure, from the mid-80's. Apparently, it was made for the Atari and IBM PCs, so graphics are all blue, black, and pink. Have yet to play it.
And of course there's UnReal World, which is probably the best know survival sim out there, 'cept it's top-down\ menu based, and leans pretty heavily on Finnish mythology\ folklore.
Got any other old survival sim suggestions?

Hey! Posting as 2nd account for obvious reasons.
So background:
My wife and I have been together for 12 years, married for 7. Living in Finland (she is Finnish, I am not). 2 kids - 5 and 2.
I am 38M - run a business from home, and my wife is 33F - a kindergarten teacher.
About 7 months ago, on our anniversary, my wife said that she is not into us as much as she used to (basically, she doesn't feel that romantic love for me that she first did). She blames things I cannot change (my appearance, which hurts). She even said that she has contemplated breakup off and on for the last 6 years. Also in line with PMS (great most of the time, but during the time of the month, she really wanted to break up!)
She mentioned that she has been struggling with understanding her role and identity beyond being a mother, teacher, and wife. What is her identity? She sees a therapist a couple of times; it helps. She voices things I could do better, and I start working on them.
I took that as a sign to shake things up—date night, hotel outings, arranging babysitters, and more proactive work around the house. I am pretty much handling the kids myself while she rests after work, I cook, etc. She is more active on the weekends.
Things were good for a while, and in January, I sensed her growing distant again. In February, she asked for a separation. I wrote a nice love letter, and we talked. A few days later, she woke me up in the morning, saying she had changed her mind. She loves me and wants to give us a chance. Her work is an issue, so she will look to speak up there.
Things are good again. We take a trip with family in March. Things are amazing.
Middle of April, the distancing comes out of nowhere. On a Sunday, she asks for a divorce and says there is no changing her mind. We try to talk, but this time, she is holding steady. She says any time we had sex in the last 7 months (including this morning), she forced herself to (which makes me feel horrible!)
She said it would be easy to divorce me if I cheated, but I am loyal to a cause. And maybe I'd hate her if she was an asshole - so she is saying things to make me hate her. Her words.
She expresses that one of her reasons for divorcing is because she wants to date other people and see if there's a different version of life she likes more. (Honestly, I trust her fully because she has never stepped out so I will disregard any suggestions for that). By Tuesday, she had found an apartment to move out to. We will take the kids 50/50 of the time. She wants to take the time to heal, too, and see a therapist again (she already started seeing one)
The D-bomb was dropped 2 weeks ago. This weekend, she will move out.
I am now left with a sense of loss - her, the kids (half the time), and the future we could have had.
My questions are:

1. Is this MLC, or does she really not like me? I seem to be getting blamed for all her misery, or so I see it.
   
2. I want to help her, but she wants to be as far away from me as possible and only talk when she wants. She wants complete independence and control over her time and life. She loves the kids, though, and generally, we are cordial with regard to the kids, though
   
3. we are separating but not divorcing just yet, But I feel it's around the corner. I love this woman from the deepest of my heart. Do I have any chance of salvaging this? In the future? If there are some things I cannot give, we have talked about me making considerations for her to get what she wants (basically, open relationships of some sort - if we are first stable)
   

All this is breaking up what is an otherwise good family with no clear issues. We don't fight or argue. No abuse. We have enough money, live in a good house, etc. It's a good life; it feels like a waste, throwing it all away. But of course, if she is going through something, I want to be there for her more than anything else, and I am not taking her plight lightly.
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Few observations:
- there are a lot of mood swings. From feeling great to feeling and showing resentment to me.
- she is a great person, but she is not acting like herself anymore (her family says that too)
- if this really is MLC, I hope she gets the help she needs, but if I suggest this to her, well, see observation 1.
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Thanks in advance! Reading this sub-redding has helped, especially from experience of others like her (and others like me)

Valve requested a stay of the case whilst the United States Copyright Office investigates the Iron Sky Movie registration.
For those not up to date.
Iron Sky was a German, Australian, Finnish co-production filmed mostly in Germany and Australia (Green screen) with 3D animation works created in Finland. First publication was in Germany on 11th February 2012. (see Berne Con art. 5(4)(a) "Country of origin".
There have been several court cases related to the production. The first being Baylis v Troll VFX where I was sacked for trying to negotiate license agreements under the premise of a "salary review". In that case and similar to Margret Keane, I had to demonstrate Iron Sky 3D animation files that have my name in the Metadata to Judge Oskar Kulmala who confirmed my authorship of the works.
Later disputes in Finland have not actually disputed that myself and other animators created the work. The dispute from Valve is that the work "lacks originality" to qualify for copyright.
The Iron Sky Producers have never acquired copyright ownership of the 3D animations works. This is because despite the fact that "work for hire" doesn't exist in Finland (or most of the EU) many 3D artists worked without employment agreements. Some had temporary service agreements but no actual employment agreements with the Producers Blind Spot Pictures who were a Swiss based company (headquartered in Zurich).
Valve's complaint relates to a Finnish Market court ruling which only concerned "economic" rights not "author's rights". This is the ruling MAO302/18 which included a counterclaim by producers which they lost due to failure to prove copyright ownership of the film themselves. Valve have misrepresented the holding of that case because the operative part clearly lacks mention of section 1 (whole of copyright) and section 3 (Moral rights - right to be named as author)
Finnish law is limited by territory to works "first published" in Finland, (Finnish copyright act §63(2)) Iron Sky was "first published" in Germany. Thus MAO302/18 has a misapplication of law and may be reversed. (Finnish Rules of Judicial procedure)
Furthermore, authorship rights are inalienable rights in the EU and cannot be denied even by a judge as that would amount to "judicial expropriation" which is unconstitutional, unlawful and a human rights violation (property rights).
In Berne Article 6bis the creator of a work may always claim to be the author even after "economic rights" have been transferred to others.
"(1) Independently of the author's economic rights, and even after the transfer of the said rights, the author shall have the right to claim authorship of the work"
https://www.law.cornell.edu/treaties/berne/6bis.html
It is thus, demonstrable that the Chain of Title for Iron Sky is not complete. It never has been, and this is the main cause of Producers being unable to secure distribution deals with NBC Universal for a sequel. Subsequently, the Producers went Bankrupt.
Myriad Pictures (sales agents) then made their own US Copyright Office registration which is likely false given that the Iron Sky producers didn't have any copyrights to sell to Myriad Pictures. (MAO302/18 counterclaim)
Given the complex nature of the case and multiple US Copyright registrations I have not opposed Valve's request for the Copyright Office to investigate.
In my view the 3D animator's work is essential to Iron Sky as to take it out would leave massive gaps in the film. Thus to complete the Chain of Title in the absence of "work for hire" agreements requires a clean slate and a proper examination of the work as a whole.
The animation works were not created by some Fairy Godmother and her troop of enchanted woodland animals. Nor were they created by Magical Elves in the night time.
The producers don't even dispute that the animators created the work.
Valves' argument is such that 3D animators in Finland cannot create copyrightable works and MAO302/18 is proof of that. The suggestion is that the animator's work automatically becomes "public domain".
There are other investigations ongoing too by the Finnish bar Association looking into how Myriad Pictures could claim ownership to valuable copyrights when not even the producers had them.
Case docket available here.
https://www.courtlistener.com/docket/67927224/baylis-v-valve-corporation/
Summary.
Iron Sky was “first published in Germany” 11th February 2012 with consent of all authors (Berne Convention article 3) and under Berne Convention 5(4)(a) Germany is he “country of origin” which means German authorship rules apply, and even economic rights of the author are inalienable rights in Germany. Germany governs domestic copyright law related to Iron Sky and all other Berne Union countries including Finland and United States are required to provide minimum standards of protection under Berne Convention Article 5(2).
Finland's own Copyright act is limited by territory to works “first published” in Finland §63. Therefore, MAO302/18 suffers from a “grave procedural error” as Iron Sky was “first published” in Germany and under Finnish rules of Judicial Procedure the Ruling the ruling can be reversed.
Finnish Rules of Judicial Procedure
Reversal of a final judgment Section 7 (109/1960)
4) if the judgment is manifestly based on misapplication of the law.
[Original Finnish]
7 § (20.2.1960/109) Lainvoiman saanut tuomio riita-asiassa voidaan purkaa:
4) jos tuomio perustuu ilmeisesti väärään lain soveltamiseen.

I recently met this gorgeous girl, we're both very nerdy and we got along so well. After a few dates I found out that she loves playing geography themed video games, such as geoguessr, pinpoint all the 50 US states, and so on.
During the last date she had the idea of buying sexy clothes with country themes. I've tried searching through most popular websites but I couldn't find any online shopping that offers this kind of lingerie. The lingerie can be anything: the country flag, something that reminds a traditional clothing of the country, and so on. The outfit doesn't need to be extremely accurate: for instance, I wouldn't want a finnish themed lingerie to come with beard, but perhaps a hammer would be nice.
Her favorite country is Netherlands, so a website selling Dutch themed lingerie would be highly appreciated. I myself enjoy some finnish culture, but I'm mainly looking to buy things for her and not for myself. Can you guys help me?

Gents, went on a date with a Finnish girl. Went well, great attraction and was really enjoying her company. Went a little hard on the drinking, maybe 5 drinks in a few hours then sharing a bottle of wine. Came back to mine, I’m so looking forward to it, and she runs to the toilet and starts throwing up. Embarrassed as hell but I comfort her and put her to bed. I just spent 20 minutes cleaning vomit 😂 fuck.

Finally gotta to write my thoughts during like late February to early March. But maybe as time goes by, I forget some cuz I remember they were at least 12 chapters (Still be editing)
1
On the Fear of Death
Rabindranath Tagore
Let me not pray to be sheltered from dangers
but to be fearless in facing them.
Let me not beg for the stilling of my pain
but for the heart to conquer it.
Let me not look for allies in life's battlefield
but to my own strength.
Let me not crave in anxious fear to be saved
but hope for the patience to win my freedom.
Grant me that I may not be a coward,
feeling your mercy in my success alone;
but let me find the grasp of your hand in my failure.
2 My parents are just very toxic, I'll make a complain of it and along with my hate to my homeland which I call it as land of Sodom. And actually my hatred towards Sodom ofc not just these words could describe, it would be books, endless
i) A small part of the conversation with a German dude who I mistook as a woman
And it was on Nov 18
Me Haha, when I was little I saw a high school chemistry textbook and was fascinated by the beautiful crystals (or more literally, whether they were ores or gems) and wanted to study chemistry, which wasn't guided by my father, as chemistry is not a lucrative profession in China. I then saw a romance novel in my middle and high school years where the hero and heroine were aiming at learning for being perfumers in the future, so I was still mesmerized by that and wanted to study chemistry again haha. To be honest, chemistry is not a good choice for girls in China, and I couldn't say I haven't regretted it, but I know that changing majors is not allowed in Germany either. So I had to stick with it.
Him You're such a hopeless romantic and his reminds me of the German novel das parfume which is like the most popular contemporary German novel
I have studied pharmacy which contains a lot of chemistry too in germany
And only studying what is lucrative is what ruins peoples lifes
Me I actually graduated in 2021, but on the one hand I can only earn 3000€ a year working here and can't save up to go to Europe (my parents wouldn't agree with that), and on the other hand I think too highly of myself and I don't like to talk about boring topics with shallow people, so I can't actually continue my job. Also, lack of a master's degree is getting harder and harder to get a job in China nowadays. Furthermore I have another thing I'm very afraid of, which is that I'm afraid my controlling parents will look back and see that I can't get into grad school nor can I find a job or even if I do find a job, force me to get married haha and I don't want to be with someone I look down on, I'm actually originally a radical feminist since December in 2021, and I've said before in my own family, "Whether it's black, white or yellow, males are all masters and I don't want any of them". (My mind and thoughts have been poisoned by romance novels and fanficton so I've restarted having good expectations to men again since May this year... I'm really losing sense and poisonous hahaha) If I don't have a degree and with I'm not beautiful enough, I'm just worthless in society and I won't be able to find any good ones. In short, I need to go to graduate school in China to save myself from a miserable life that I can see at a glance already.
And some words could be seen as footnotes I have mentioned to you before
Of course I want to leave, I wanted to leave in 2021. But after trying to work, I can only earn about 3,000 euros a year here, that's all I have right now, and I've calculated that my family doesn't even have more than 150,000 euros combined (because I'm a girl, my parents never tell me how much properties my family has, and are very disdainful of me for wanting to know that). Our wages here are even as low as 2 euros per hour with two days off a month, and I used to have a job with six days off a month. My parents wouldn't give me money to leave China either, they don't agree that I have feminist ideas in my brain. Also, I'm their only child and they say they're afraid I'll die abroad, yes, they think the West is full of dangers and believe every day that the view is unique, safe and beautiful here when one look at the world. All I can hope for is that I might be able to get into grad school, save up in the meantime, go to Europe to continue my education or just work, and then of course I want to live there forever.
Lazy to check, maybe there exist problem of grammar and usage 🤣
Hahaha told a lot of people I am radical feminist 🤣In my home country, feminists already be seen as crazy and rebellious, not to mention I am radical
[And there I attached a screenshot of my talk with my first Estonian friend and of course when share screenshots with others I often cut the avatar and username off:
Me I used to be a radical feminist, which means we radical feminist in Korea and China should do 6B4T
Then let me search the English definition https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/6B4T_movement#:~:text=In%20Korean%2Dlanguage%20abbreviation%2C%20%22,refers%20to%20rejecting%20strict%20beauty
Here's it
I used to cut off my hair like man, that's what we radical feminists there suggests, remove feminine symbol from us
Him
Youre brave
I really dont know what to say
Because im a man]
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/6B4T_movement#:~:text=In%20Korean%2Dlanguage%20abbreviation%2C%20%22,refers%20to%20rejecting%20strict%20beauty
Him No it reads perfectly and if had to imagine myself in your situation I would have a similar outlook. Thank god women don't have this expectation here to get married asap and actually 23 is still considered early to start studying . I notice that in China people have to decide on their career path very early and there's not much room if you have a change of heart later on
Me You can't imagine my mother wants me to get married since I was around 18, and as girls here, as they grow up parents always taught them, must do something, or you would be scolded in in-laws' family
Him
I sense there's a lot of pressure on someone like you in your surroundings
Me My mother said, why don't you get married before study and work, start a family before building a career
Him That's just terrible. I can appreciate that you'd just want the freedom of "being your own man at your own pace" but I always had that freedom That sounds like the career of raising kids 🤔
Me She would also give me examples of people she knew around her who got married in high school and I said don't they know shame?My mom said there's no shame in getting married and having kids.Even though, my mother (she was born in '65) also got married at 32, which is considered quite late in China, especially in her era.
Him Well they can't really force you. You're not the person to let yourself be dragged Infront of the altar
Sounds like Europe 120 years ago
Me My cousin's twin babies are in bad health, then my father said, why she couldn't just quit her job, like all the people do in the past
Him Well the father could also quit his job of course
Me Also, my cousin's husband can't have children naturally, but in China, always check if it's wrong with women's bodies and blame women first, if women are all healthy, then could check the glorious men
Him Terrible , I heard about this on tv
Me So breathtaking, but average Chinese woman's life [And there I attached a screenshot of my talk with my first Estonian friend as well Him: Your life sounds like movie
Me Average Chinese woman's life
Him Now i feel guilty
Life here is luxury compared to China
Don't mean to make you jealous
Me Forget all the feminist ideas in my head and agree wholeheartedly with patriarchal and traditional culture of this land and then I would feel like many women find this life normal
No, your country and many European countries didn't do anything wrong
China always says that the countries of Europe got rich by plundering, but what have Finland, Iceland, Lithuania and many others done? Nothing.
Him: Vikings hahaha
China kind of reminds me of my parents said about days when we were with Soviet Union]
Shake my head
We all have strong heart here, or just get used to it or never felt wrong by the society's influence
Him Yeah takes a lot of courage to do your own thing but someone like you can't be happy without pursuing your own path Hey you could lead a feminist movement and piss them all off properly 👌
Me Then I will die Already exist many women here dead for this
Him: Considering the declining birthrate, istn there some change occuring already ?
Me: They promote three-children policy or actually no limits for number of children anymore, which results to women more difficult to get a job or study
Sister, I'm finally back from walking and bathing, I was worried about you worried about me got caught by authorities for saying treasonous words haha🤣
Haha, I have a wonder. Before locking the screen my screen stays on the page we are talking on, so do your messages have to be shown as read even if I don't read them?
https://insidechina.rti.org.tw/news/view/id/2072201
Here is a thing I heard of, you can read it with the help of chrome's Google translate
Him: I see, so women don't want to be birthing machines, so that policy is actually backfiring
Me: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Feminism_in_China
Him: Are you joking or serious ? So dreadful that you can't criticise openly, but you are using VPN right ? That ought to be encrypted
I dunno I don't pay any attention to the read thing and you don't need to worry about replying fast just take your time
Me: I know about the movement of Feminist Five, in here I and some people know it as Feminist Sisters Five
No, without VPN we could still surf on this app, but even with VPN, it still without help
Him Interesting , so I guess such articles aren't usually published in China ? But on tw addresses ?
Me: Keep in mind, actually everything is under surveillance
Ah, I found it on Chrome
Him: Spooky. Do you cross the street when the lights are red ? Or is that bad for the social score ?
Me: We have radical feminists online groups, got hidden from Douban (Chinese's version of Tumblr)or actually by the authorit** Use the Internet, all is the same And I know actually the government and me use the same VPN So more dangerous But somehow actually all the same in some extent One use the Internet, you see, wifi, 4G or under who's eyes? Maybe VPS is a little more safe, but I don't know how to build it, and maybe still under watch I surf on western Internet since like 2019, Reddit since May,2022 But don't I dare say a word since this August
Him: But what's the point of China's great firewall when anyone can just circumvent like that ? Is it like a trap to catch ppl?
Me My first word is on Reddit/polandball, saying someone's work about Germany, so adorable
Not everyone
We like 1.4 billion here
No more than 0.1 billion know how to access to outside Internet
Him: Oh I see Or most people might just don't know any better ?
Me: And if stay quiet, safe or not safe, depends on the glorious' minds
Him: I see so you still gotta be careful what you write
Me: The govern-++！ment sometimes arrests people who say things that are treasonous, but it won't say the real reason, it'll say it's because someone viewed a pornographic website
Him: That's so ironic, some people here would go bonkers if pornograpghy would be restricted in any way haha
Me: So that's the reason I stay quiet until months ago I dare say some words
And I am even a little worried
For a translated some poems
One poem named The Taiwanese Bamboo Branch Song, though it was written by famous person in mainland dead in 1929
Him: But usually websites have build in Https end to end encryption and other apps as well
Me: Another poems by Taiwanese poet Luo Fu
And I called Luo Fu as Taiwanese poet
Him: I usually avoid the topic of Taiwan, I had a bad experience with someone talking about it
Me: So maybe you can see why I am very frightened
Him: Yes
Me: I am a person totally okay with Taiwan, I don't care about this awful home land at all, I think it's should be at Taiwan's wishes
self-determination and who's the group first came to the territory in history
Him: Yeah let the people decide. But it's not that easy, because nowadays elections often get influenced by outside propaganda campaigns. Trying to shift public opinion by spreading false information
Me: Haha you don't know how smart our internet security systems are
As I said, no secret if one use Internet, I think maybe it's the same all over the world
Very scared
But this "glorious" land do it the best
Him: I have some inclination, but some apps like the old telegram have strong encryptions. Or the dark net as a whole. But but apps like these
Me: I don't use telegrams, I don't trust them and Twitter
Him: I don't either, but it's possible depending on what you use
Me: Twitter has a reputation of cooperate with my home land
Him: Just purely on a technical standpoint
Me: And I don't want to use telegrams, if I stay quiet, I may be at peace
Him: For sure, musk doing business in china
Me: But what telegrams could bring me, I don't want to get involved with politics, movements I could just take care of myself Telegrams may put me in danger
Him: I mean he actual app telegram , th instant messenger Or the all signal
Me: Maybe there exist traitors or something with the au;+_+_thoriti**++es
Him: Those are used for encryption or in some countries as WhatsApp ornwechat replacement
Me: Then what's the name I wanna hear, but afraid to use G++u-&__-i Min"&-hai Maybe you knew this person already
Him The name of the app is just telegram. And with such a type of end to end encryption, it's impossible for outsiders to read. Unless your using a device, which has spyware on it.
Me: Then my phone must have spy software Even if I get an American iPhone
Him In your country ever phone has it
Me Cause we must use some apps here
Him That's the reason Huawei got banned in usa
Me WeChat Alipay lots of stuff
Him It's not just apps, but I deeply integrated on a hardware level
Me Yeah, I even prefer my privaty stolen by westerns I feel no worries about use Google or whatever
Him Yep Google and everyone else keep track of things too
Me But in China,Internet access is completely real-name, it's just that your online friends don't always know who you are, the government does And actually neitzens could find out who you are too I mentioned Human Flesh Search Engine before
Him It's the same here, but if I wanna be completely anonymous I just take a tablet to the public WiFi. Devices themselves aren't attached to names here, only isp accounts
Me Wow, sounds beyond my comprehension, indeed, I am such an uneducated person don't know what's this I will read it carefully 🤣
Him If you go into a cafe there is internet access over WiFi. So you don't have to use your own internet at home ISP means internet service provider Like VDSL or cable or something
Me 🧐😵‍💫
Him For example if you just go to the store and buy a tablet, you don't have to leave your name Or a laptop So you take his to a cafe or something and log in to the wifi No way of tracing back your name Of course if you post online, you shouldn't tell anyone your name haha
Me Hahaha thanks for your words though I am still confused but I will tell you
Him No problemo You can ask me anything
Me Before we use the app, we already hand in our identity information
We already give out our phone number, ID Card pictures even face pictures
Him What ? You mean for using hello talk ?
Me Or we couldn't use them and we couldn't choose not to use them because every app is same and we must use some apps
Hellotalk also hand in my phone number
Him That's unbelievable
Me And actually I felt use ti it
Him 🥺
Me Because it doesn't require more! But it has linked with my WeChat So still the same
Him Yeah but it's still coupled to your phone number
Me Like ID card, face verification
WeChat or Alipay, almost every one has to use for everything, and it already have our ID information
WeChat has the strongest surveillance
Him Because it's also used for payment ?
Me One can even unable send some pictures on it
Him Yeah like Winnie the Pooh pictures
Me So you don't need to provide your any information?
Him No I never did that and noone here would do it If you use paying apps you just enter credit card information
Me Going out, administration, everything in life
Him But people still prefere cash in stores And I don't wanna be forced to take my mobile phone with me when I go out
Me China always laugh at countries like Germany still use cashes. But I found so ridiculous
Him It's not backwards in my opinion. There should be ways for anonymous payments, that's so dystopic to leave your name with any transaction you do
Me Our people here say we trade privacy for convenience, but given the choice, I'd rather not have that convenience. I have deep worries about private security all the time So I seldom put my pictures, yes, not even my selfies online
Him For example if you wanna buy gold, I would do it cash. If the government is at war it could cease private investments . But only if they have the buyers name
Me I almost only put pictures on the western Internet I have searched for this a lot on Reddit or YouTube or chrome I even wrote down once haha
Him Very smart
Me But I have something weird actually, I don't want touch the money for bacteria 🤣
Him But not much use when your government uses cameras and face recognition to track your every step You're excused, my quirky sister 😉
Me Yes I know it, they knew how many phones cards you have Sorry cannot understand, need Google at once
Him That means I appreciate your apprehension . In my job many people have that feat Fear
Me Ohh How time flies, though today we only talk about heavy things haha
Him I like this, it's a lot of fun to talk with you But I'm a little scared to get you into trouble
Me Yes, so maybe I won't talk about it anymore
Him Still, so interesting to hear from a different perspective At least I have confirmation some stuff in TV is real
Me Do you heard of him?
Him Uh well I can't decipher that one , Google didn't help haha The Rona related guy ?
Me He is a "traitor", he turns into a Swedish, and have to be one of the person in Sodom again
The au*** force him to admit his crime on TV
So he became one of glorious land again
Him I didn't hear about this peticular person, but I heard about these secret foreign offices of Sodom to "get their lost children back"
Me But Sweden still admit him as one of the Swedish people I need to keep in mind I'm a traitor too
Him Hey don't say the quiet part out loud 😉
Me So I couldn't be as brave as him, I could only take care of myself at the most and at best
Hahaha
Him Yeah that person seems to have acted like a martyr indeed
Me Just only keep the letters, remove the punctuations
Him Oh I got it That confessions vid is like the first result on google
Me Hahaha, in China, we often chat with wrong words, short form or add a lot of punctuations
As you said this, my heart broke for him
Him Doesn't help at all with the ai technology of today
Me Though I never dare to watch, I know it in my mind
But if without these, we even couldn't send out some even normal (not rebellion) messages, posts, comments 🤣
Him I feel like I'm part of a spy novel , it's kind of exciting
Me Hahaha
Him Whisperwhispermumblemumble It even the average dim witted person can see that it's completely staged. Who believes that ?
Me Sigh They don't need anyone to believe maybe, they just threaten
Him Oh yes. Like Putin killing off any dissidents like prigoshin. As a warning While publically playing innocent But everyone knows what's up
Me So frightening for me, as a child, I always dream of Anarchy society or actually described by Zhuangzi https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zhuang_Zhou
Him I have this too sometimes. Like a natural disaster happing , like a comet hitting earth and everyone has to fend for them selves. Public order be damned
Me But when I grow up I found Anarchy may lead disorders Just enjoy the peaceful life described by him
Him Yeah there got to be some healthy middle ground , if that's possible
Me Here's the English translations I found https://www.harinam.com/tao-te-ching-verse-80-if-a-country-is-governed-wisely-its-inhabitants-will-be-content/ I truly enjoy it a lot since I was a kid https://www.taoistic.com/taoteching-laotzu/taoteching-80.htm
Different versions of translation haha
ii)
What I wrote on Dec 28-29
They mock me for wanting to go outside
Around December in 2021. my father said "why you want to go aboard to study. What are you going abroad for?Are you going to study until you're old (which means I should get married soon, yeah in China, weirdly before going to university, young people are not encouraged to being relationship if the parents or the locals want the young people to live more and more decent life and get higher degrees. But after going to university, they will maybe push children to being relationship soon, get married even have children soon even before the career started or the university years finnished)? Study through all your life?"
Meanwhile I said, "I want to go to Europe to study or work and then live forever"
But they always mock me for want to go to Europe, and sometimes they even don't remember, mistake Germany which I used to want to go as America 🤨😵‍💫
My parents are so toxic, my mother curse me to death just because I haven't taken the clothes home at 17:47 now. She threatened to slap me.
My mother haven't slapped me in my life, my father did. He hit me several times, especially these times. He slapped me in front of everyone in class (You may not believe that a girl who was my classmate in middle school and my schoolmate in high school, who strangely, provocatively said, "I remember your dad beating you up in middle school" when we were near the examination center for the Gaokao, to which I could only reply sarcastically, " You weren't even born when he beat me up.") when I did slower than other people on exams (but I wasn't bad at Chemistry, 55/60 on the Zhongkao https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zhongkao (The Junior High School Scholastic Aptitude Examination), about 70/100 on the Gaokao https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gaokao#:\~:text=The%20Nationwide%20Unified%20Examination%20for,in%20early%20June%20every%20year. (The Nationwide Unified Examination for Admissions to General Universities and Colleges), and Chemistry was my strongest subject after English (124/150 in Gaokao), and I only relied on they two to just barely make it to college, because I really didn't study much in high school, I just read romance novels every day by then). And then there was the time in middle school at home when he caught me copying answers instead of doing my homework relying on myself seriously, he domesticated me so hard he slapped me that made me lose my mind at the time. There were also one time I don't remember if it was in primary school or middle school, they two my parents whipped me with belts and forced me to kneel, and so that I told them at the time as a result I hated that I am not an orphan, I should better be. As I type these words, there are tears in my eyes. I probably have mental issues because of them. [I'm a woman maybe need therapy, but I'll honestly tell you, if I see therapy, it would be a big thing in China, hard to get a job like civil servant https://zh.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E5%85%AC%E5%8B%99%E5%93%A1 or other decent jobs, important exams
Believe me, what I say is 100% true, cuz if see some Psychologist or psychotherapy that will be in record documents, and will be regarded as abnormal or person with mental disorder
There must be many people in China with mental health problems, but we can't even see the doctor, cuz if we do, we may even can't enter some good schools
since we born, our life is full of competition and fighting
And parents, spoil us or treat us whatever very toxicly, traditional Asian especially Chinese parents
Control us)
I'll honestly say one thing, many Chinese women or girls want parents better dead. Because not only were our parents toxic, but even if we were the only daughter, because of the deep-rooted patriarchy here, they despised us.
Yes if one day, I want to be a good person. But I am still actually afraid of men, even I somehow close to men, but I don't want a relationship, not only because I don't want to get laid with man (I mean I am afraid of being forced) but also like something I can't tell, just afraid, many men are awful, like my father, many Chinese men though I don't want relationship with them but we Chinese men and women here are like enemies, and some men (in this term, I'm not saying the men from the homeland) manipulated me or played with my feelings
I mean I don't want to get laid with man anyway. just afraid of being forced during relationship like rape. Maybe you can't imagine, I used to think and said these to some internet Chinese friends, "I think coitus is a disgusting thing, like bestiality, the subjugation or conquer of a man to a woman, and I feel a deep anger about it", (It's a hatred as if I was born with an anger towards coitus. This could be due to the astrology chart of the moment I was born holds Mars square Pluto. For this I had seen a quite astonishingly good but long text in 2017, and I translated it myself https://www.reddit.com/Mathilde_Soliloquy/comments/191mc51/mars_square_pluto/ with the help of DeepL translator.)
and then a man said then the man you have a relationship will find others outside, cuz man can't tolerate it
I argued with my parents just now
My father said "if you're keeping bubbling nonsense, I'll kick you out of house by my legs, and get off to outside better tomorrow". haha reminds me of this Chinese sister's words
My mother said if I keep the phone with me, she won't care about my business anymore, handle all my own living myself, cooking and all. That is, threaten me.
Noo just humiliate me, my father and mother said I am crazy or stimulated by something. Just like when I said I don't want a man, my parents, my relatives, people I met in China especially my neighbors in my childhood would teach me a lesson, saying are you hurt by men, then at that time I may say, why I must feel this way because hurt by man, I just hate the patriarchal society
But also exist the possibility if I don't act like obedient to them
They know full well I'm a giant baby, fragile, depent, and I'm weak now, have no ability except learning, can't live on my own at least by far, thus may think threat me like this will lead me to be obedient
Yeah as I said to that Chinese sister, if what happened to her (A Chinese girl said to me, "I've been through three love disasters. My heart is much stronger than yours. I've also been through being kicked out of my parents' house, at 9pm, crying all over the place by myself looking for a hotel, people on the street are busy with their own, my mom wants to drop me off at my hometown to my grandma, my dad mocked my mom back in case his mom would be dying from angers, there's no place for me in the home. I've been depressed, abandoned, and hurt by men. I'm sober and I don't have a relationship/romanticismic-brain, I've been hurt three times by men. Have you ever been strangled? I have, by an ex-ex-boyfriend, and I've been threatened with nude photos, and if I difmdn't take them, I'd be crazily scolded, and received cold violence."
I replied to her, "If it were me, I'd be so fragile that I'd just die." ) happens to me, I'll fragile to go to death
Crazily, my father broke into my room, lifted the covers, and said, "Hand over your phone," and then he actually went and grabbed it and smashed it on the floor, may even stomped on it with his foot. Then I argued, saying, "My primary school classmate have been playing with his phones all night since primary school, and anyone would keep their phones with them. I must have my phone with me even if I would get hit, is this some kind of electronic doorstop?" He said "These people you're talking about, what are they doing?They're all working" and I said "You can't do this even if I don't work, you two are too psycho (my mom says the one who is psycho and abnormal is me). I'm going to get a job because I can't take your control anymore." After then, I get from my bed and turn on the light to find my phone, then my father said "it's between the dishes (on the dinning table)"
I was wondering my phone can't work when he grabbed it away from me
I'm trembling now, shake my head for it
The coldness of weather, can't be able to compare the sorrow of mine, uuhhh
Uuhh let me mention a stuff, there are places like豫章书院https://zh.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E8%B1%AB%E7%AB%A0%E4%B9%A6%E9%99%A2%E4%BF%AE%E8%BA%AB%E6%95%99%E8%82%B2%E4%B8%93%E4%BF%AE%E5%AD%A6%E6%A0%A1, Yuzhang Academy Self-cultivation Education School, that some places parents send disobedient children for "treatment", such as seclusion or electric shocks, extremely cruel physical punishment, in which the children sometimes have to report each other in order to survive there..., and some of them commit suicide
Though they may don't send me, I believe they must think of these things, Sometimes when they feel I am disobedient they said they'd send me to mental hospitals, though it may not be not out of their hearts but threats
Yeah it's no matter about the age, parents control children till to death. And I believe in places like that, must be many adults, no need to ensure
In this situation, I no longer have the heart to like men, I have to become independent and rely on myself for survival as soon as possible, and I realize how horrible my life is and that if I don't struggle to leave them, I wi surely be forced to go on blind dates and marry man I don't like and I despise
They've, at least my mother wanted me to get married as soon as possible since I was18, wait, even earlier or after entering the university, 17
Parents control children like this is a common thing in China, sigh*
It's not a civilized place anyway
On Dec 30, "Yeah today my father hit the door, by then I was afraid of being slapped or beat up He rapped on the door with his hand while crazily yelling at me So since childhood, when someone gets loud, my mind goes blank Yeah thanks God haven't beat me up recently Already so frightened by them, whenever simply their voices are loud, my frigh even turns to this degree"
When I was about 8, one day my mother picked me up from school by bicycle, and I wiggled my feet, and the ankle of my left foot touched the bicycle chain and was stirred in, at that time I saw blood and white bones but I didn't dare to say anything because I was so afraid of my mother, thanks to a stanger - a grandpa behind us who said that the child's foot was stirred into the bicycle, but my mother always said that there was no such old grandpa and that it was she who couldn't pedal the bicycle and found out that on her own. Then my foot had to be stitched up with a needle a dozen times. But I haven't cried over that, and I didn't shed a single tear when I was 4 when I ran while playing but fell on a large pile of glass, resulting in a scar on my left temple. Having said that I have quite a lot of trauma on my body, I was in a vehicle accident in 2010's or 2011's (damn I can't even remember though I have a good memory I think more likely 2010) January, that resulted in an intracranial fracture and bleeding in my right ear for a week (my parents used to tell me not to talk to people about this lest they think you have a problem with your brain). I'm really terrified of traffic because of this, even standing at a five-way or intersection I get vertigo and feel like I'm going to drown from all the vehicles speeding past me. So not to mention driving a car, I can't even drive and don't want to learn how to drive a battery-operated bike, and I even seem to have gotten a little scar on my leg from a fall I took on a battery-operated bike between summer and fall this year. I can ride a bike at the most, but I haven't ridden one in at least nine years I guess. And when I was around 11 I tripped over a brick because the power went out in the street and I couldn't see the road, and I broke three of my incisors in some degree, how can I put it, I don't have any good teeth, I think it may be due to food safety issues of my country.
iii)
When I was in high school, I guess when I was aroud 15, my father jokingly used a swear word he learned from one of neighbors on me, "当婊子还要牌坊 https://zh.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E7%89%8C%E5%9D%8A Be a prostitute yet still wants to build up a paifang [It is a building erected in feudal society to honour meritorious achievements, success in Imperial examination https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Imperial_examination, benevolent gover, as well as loyalty and filial piety, and here it refers to the Paifang of Chastity.]". I am a person still haven't touched any man's hands by far and I didn't do anythinf wrong, then he used this kind of sentence to me. And he then asked me to accept his apology with two hundred RMB, which I had to accept because if I did not he might even get annoyed of shame and lose his temper even beat me up.
So sometimes when people like neighbors from my childhood, persuade me go to marriage (cuz at that time I didn't want), saying your father treat you so nice and you must can find someone like your father, ewwwwww, it's so disgusting, my father is so disgusting, beat me up, inslut me, I don't want man from my homeland at all
And my parents like my mother won't admit it, she said "I've been with your father so many years, he hasn't said any words like to me, how could it happen? That must be your imagination“
Tho I still have conscience in thinking they raised me up
iv) [Labor Law of the People's Republic of China
Chapter 4 Working Hours, Rests, and Leaves
Article 36 The State shall practise a working hour system wherein labourers shall work for no more than eight hours a day and no more than 44 hours a week on the average.
(Actually we work way more than this)
Article 38 The employer shall guarantee that its labourers have at least one day off a week.]
In my home province the minimum hourly wage is divided into four levels,21,20,19,18RMB (at this moment, 1 Euro = 7.77 Chinese Yuan, aka RMB),and in the current province I live it's 24,22,20. I used to have a temporary job in my town that was two days off a month,and my parents said why you can't do it as someone else is doing it,and I remember the hours of that job started at about 7:30am, besides, there was a man in that job who purposely tried to put a hot stamp drop on my legs.
So getting a job in China with two days off on the weekend is kind of considered a luxury, and one of my previous jobs had six days off a month.
And now I don't lay my eyes on jobs without two days off on the weekend.
v) https://weibo.com/1648736703/4955740219901047 Classic manly "let me test you". If it were me, even if I did have to speak German, I'd be practicing to be fluent before I'd have the nerve to say it in public, let alone record a video of it, and this man even sells English lessons. As some people said in the comments section, " There are so many women in China whose talent does not match their position, and even if they are very talented, they can only make a living at the grassroots level, and this phenomenon is rare in men, on the contrary, most of them do not have the talent to match their position. Women in this country have too few opportunities for advancement."

Paganism was still prominent in the 1300s from what I've heard. I wasn't there so I wouldn't know. Lol
I wonder if a genetic "Pagan" religion could be applied with different names coming based of culture groups (Norse, Germanic, Roman, Greek, Baltic, Finnish, etc.) not sure how exactly it would work, but the Start Date Pagan nations in Europe could get an event to convert to Catholicism or Orthodoxy or stay Pagan. And maybe a certain requirements can come to reestablish the Roman or Greek Pantheon. (This is just an idea I would love to hear opinions and betterments)