Asian girls groped hard

Over the course of the past few months I have been working on compiling a list of my 500 favorite songs. It was sort of challenge that I gave myself and I'm super pumped with how it turned out. There were a few rules (only 5 songs per artist being the big rule, among a few others), and here's the list I came up with. Thought it was fun, so wanted to share here and see if it might spark any discussion about song placement, lack of songs/artists, or see if anyone had any similar lists. All thoughts are welcome! (and if you don't care to comb through all 500 songs for your favorite song or artist I'm more than happy to help you track 'em down)

1. Trash Panda - Aging out of the 20th Century
   
2. Djo - Roddy
   
3. The Beatles - Don't Let Me Down
   
4. Snail Mail - Heat Wave
   
5. Phoebe Bridgers - Savior Complex
   
6. Joji - SLOW DANCING IN THE DARK
   
7. The Shins - The Fear
   
8. Talking Heads - This Must Be the Place (Naive Melody)
   
9. The Cranberries - Linger
   
10. Post Animal - Ralphie
    
11. Hop Along - Not Abel
    
12. The Beach Boys - Heroes And Villains
    
13. Electric Light Orchestra - Livin' Thing
    
14. The Monkees - As We Go Along
    
15. Blondie - Heart Of Glass
    
16. The Strokes - Oblivius
    
17. Chet Baker - It's Always You
    
18. The Beatles - Rain
    
19. Electric Light Orchestra - Telephone Line
    
20. Husbands - Must Be a Cop
    
21. Faces - Ooh La La
    
22. The Flaming Lips - Do You Realize??
    
23. Frank Ocean - Nights
    
24. Harry James - It's Been a Long, Long Time
    
25. The Turtles - Happy Together
    
26. Etta James - At Last
    
27. The Zombies - The Way I Feel Inside
    
28. The Beatles - Here, There And Everywhere
    
29. The Beach Boys - God Only Knows
    
30. Kanye West - Father Stretch My Hands Pt. 1
    
31. Briston Maroney - Sinkin'
    
32. John Lennon - Oh My Love
    
33. Herb Alpert & The Tijuana Brass - Ladyfingers
    
34. Squirrel Flower - Headlights
    
35. The Backseat Lovers - Maple Syrup
    
36. The B-52's - Rock Lobster
    
37. George Harrison - All Things Must Pass
    
38. Snail Mail - Ben Franklin
    
39. Laura Elliott - Grass Stains
    
40. Djo - Chateau (Feel Alright)
    
41. Tame Impala - Eventually
    
42. The Backseat Lovers - Snowbank Blues
    
43. Claude Debussy - Clair de Lune
    
44. The Weeknd - Save Your Tears
    
45. Talking Heads - Thank You for Sending Me an Angel
    
46. The Zombies - Time of the Season
    
47. The War On Drugs - Nothing to Find
    
48. Queen - Brighton Rock
    
49. The Dream Academy - Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want
    
50. The B-52's - Strobe Light
    
51. The Cranberries - Dreams
    
52. Fugees - Killing Me Softly With His Song
    
53. Molchat Doma - Тоска
    
54. Tyler, The Creator - ARE WE STILL FRIENDS?
    
55. The Mamas & The Papas - Dream A Little Dream Of Me
    
56. The Chords - Sh-Boom
    
57. The Beatles - The Abbey Road Medley
    
58. The Ronettes - Be My Baby
    
59. The Who - Baba O'Riley
    
60. Dr. Dog - Where'd All the Time Go?
    
61. M83 - My Tears Are Becoming A Sea
    
62. Billie Eilish - everything i wanted
    
63. Outkast - Hey Ya!
    
64. Nat King Cole - Orange Colored Sky
    
65. The Notorious B.I.G. - Hypnotize
    
66. Four Tops - Reach Out I'll Be There
    
67. Foreign Air - Shut Up and Show Me
    
68. Leonard Cohen - So Long, Marianne
    
69. dodie - If I'm Being Honest
    
70. Briston Maroney - June
    
71. Post Malone - Sunflower
    
72. John Lennon - Isolation
    
73. Buddy Holly & The Crickets - Not Fade Away
    
74. Phoebe Bridgers - I Know The End
    
75. Kanye West - All Falls Down
    
76. Alvvays - Adult Diversion
    
77. John Lennon - Beautiful Boy (Darling Boy)
    
78. Clairo - Amoeba
    
79. The Beach Boys - I Know There's An Answer
    
80. Paul McCartney - Let Me Roll It
    
81. Frank Ocean - Ivy
    
82. Radiohead - Motion Picture Soundtrack
    
83. Djo - Mutual Future (Repeat)
    
84. Phoebe Bridgers - Scott Street
    
85. Childish Gambino - Me and Your Mama
    
86. Pink Floyd - Astronomy Domine
    
87. The Pied Pipers - Dream
    
88. The Beach Boys - All I Wanna Do
    
89. Djo - Change
    
90. Второй этаж поражает - Крайности
    
91. Little Richard - Lucille
    
92. King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard - Shanghai
    
93. Chet Baker - Deep In A Dream
    
94. The Beatles - It's All Too Much
    
95. Post Animal - Dirtpicker
    
96. The B-52's - Love Shack
    
97. EDEN - foreve/over
    
98. Kanye West - Ultralight Beam
    
99. The Zombies - Going Out Of My Head
    
100. Talking Heads - Found a Job
     
101. Snail Mail - Pristine
     
102. Tom Tom Club - Genius of Love
     
103. Tears For Fears - Everybody Wants To Rule The World
     
104. WILLIS - I Think I Like When It Rains
     
105. Chet Baker - But Not For Me
     
106. Naked Eyes - Always Something There to Remind Me
     
107. Tyler, The Creator - GONE, GONE / THANK YOU
     
108. Djo - Half Life
     
109. Trash Panda - Check Please
     
110. Briston Maroney - Deep Sea Diver
     
111. Beach Fossils - This Year
     
112. Momma - Medicine
     
113. Hop Along - Prior Things
     
114. Talking Heads - Road to Nowhere
     
115. Electric Light Orchestra - Turn to Stone
     
116. Briston Maroney - It's Not My Fault
     
117. Tyler, The Creator - NEW MAGIC WAND
     
118. Snail Mail - Headlock
     
119. Phil Collins - Take Me Home
     
120. Gotye - Somebody That I Used To Know
     
121. The Beach Boys - Do It Again
     
122. Tame Impala - Breathe Deeper
     
123. Ella Fitzgerald - Misty
     
124. Phoebe Bridgers - Waiting Room
     
125. Kanye West - Runaway
     
126. Daft Punk - Get Lucky (feat. Pharrell Williams and Nile Rodgers)
     
127. Dire Straits - Money for Nothing
     
128. Kendrick Lamar - Alright
     
129. Black Country, New Road - Concorde
     
130. George Harrison - If Not for You
     
131. Harry Styles - Cherry
     
132. Ms. Lauryn Hill - Doo Wop (That Thing)
     
133. Paul McCartney - Junk
     
134. Wings - Maybe I'm Amazed [Live]
     
135. Talking Heads - Houses in Motion
     
136. Del Water Gap - Ode to a Conversation Stuck in Your Throat
     
137. Pixies - Where Is My Mind?
     
138. Queen - Seven Seas Of Rhye
     
139. Paul McCartney - Jet
     
140. Sufjan Stevens - Death with Dignity
     
141. A Flock Of Seagulls - I Ran (So Far Away)
     
142. Tame Impala - Let It Happen
     
143. Led Zeppelin - Whole Lotta Love
     
144. Clairo - Management
     
145. Tommy James & The Shondells - I Think We're Alone Now
     
146. Fergie - Clumsy
     
147. Childish Gambino - This Is America
     
148. Prefab Sprout - The King of Rock 'N' Roll
     
149. Joy Again - Looking Out for You
     
150. Beach House - Space Song
     
151. John Lennon - Mind Games
     
152. The Weeknd - Gasoline
     
153. Weezer - Buddy Holly
     
154. Phoebe Bridgers - Sidelines
     
155. Tame Impala - New Person, Same Old Mistakes
     
156. Lana Del Rey - A&W
     
157. The Dillards - I've Just Seen a Face
     
158. The Doors - Break on Through (To the Other Side)
     
159. Julie London - I'm Glad There Is You
     
160. 2Pac - California Love
     
161. Dean Martin - Everybody Loves Somebody
     
162. Snail Mail - Anytime
     
163. The Strokes - The Adults Are Talking
     
164. Jordana, TV Girl - Better in the Dark
     
165. Juice WRLD - Hide (feat. Seezyn)
     
166. The Wild Reeds - Get Better
     
167. Finom - Mine
     
168. Hop Along - One That Suits Me
     
169. The Killers - Mr. Brightside
     
170. Michael Cera - Clay Pigeons
     
171. Clairo - Bags
     
172. Prince - Let's Go Crazy
     
173. The Zombies - She's Not There
     
174. Blackstreet - No Diggity
     
175. Frank Sinatra - I've Got You Under My Skin
     
176. John Denver - Take Me Home, Country Roads
     
177. Harry James - I'm Beginning to See The Light
     
178. The Clash - London Calling
     
179. Charles Bradley - Changes
     
180. Buddy Holly - (Ummmm, Oh Yeah) Dearest
     
181. Eagles - Seven Bridges Road [Live]
     
182. Moxie - Honey
     
183. Faces - Stay with Me
     
184. Post Animal - How Do You Feel
     
185. New Order - Age of Consent
     
186. Natalie Imbruglia - Torn
     
187. Lana Del Rey - Doin' Time
     
188. Twin Peaks - Blue Coupe
     
189. Kanye West - Gold Digger
     
190. Fruit Bats - The Bottom of It
     
191. Frank Sinatra - Somethin' Stupid
     
192. Lorde - Perfect Places
     
193. Martha Tilton - Exactly Like You
     
194. King Crimson - 21st Century Schizoid Man
     
195. Glen Campbell - Southern Nights
     
196. Claire Rosinkranz - Frankenstein
     
197. Guillemots - Made-Up Lovesong #43
     
198. Fleetwood Mac - Say You Love Me
     
199. Frankie Valli - Can't Take My Eyes off You
     
200. The Crickets - Don't Ever Change
     
201. Paul Anka - Put Your Head On My Shoulder
     
202. George Harrison - Isn't It a Pity
     
203. Trash Panda - Off
     
204. Super Besse - Holod
     
205. Beyoncé - Hold Up
     
206. Charlie Burg - I Don't Wanna Be Okay Without You
     
207. Eagles - Peaceful Easy Feeling
     
208. Ella Fitzgerald - It's A Lovely Day Today
     
209. PERMSKY KRAY - Дорогой Человек
     
210. The Little Dippers - Forever
     
211. The B-52's - There's a Moon in the Sky (Called the Moon)
     
212. Patti Page - Old Cape Cod
     
213. Daft Punk - Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger
     
214. The Soggy Bottom Boys - I Am A Man Of Constant Sorrow
     
215. Trash Panda - Things Will Never Change
     
216. Hop Along - Well-dressed
     
217. Sixpence None The Richer - Kiss Me
     
218. TV Girl - Daughter of a Cop
     
219. LAUNDRY DAY - Jane
     
220. Tyler, The Creator - EARFQUAKE
     
221. Sigue Sigue Sputnik - Love Missile F1-11
     
222. Joji - Gimme Love
     
223. The Backseat Lovers - Pool House
     
224. The Weeknd - Take My Breath
     
225. Mild High Club - Homage
     
226. Doc Watson - Am I Born to Die?
     
227. Daniel Caesar - Streetcar
     
228. The Kinks - Sunny Afternoon
     
229. John Lennon - #9 Dream
     
230. Tame Impala - Elephant
     
231. Chuck Berry - You Never Can Tell
     
232. Pink Floyd - Wish You Were Here
     
233. KIDS SEE GHOSTS - 4th Dimension
     
234. Soft Cell - Tainted Love
     
235. The B-52's - Song for a Future Generation
     
236. Gnarls Barkley - Crazy
     
237. Lana Del Rey - Blue Jeans
     
238. Billie Eilish - Halley's Comet
     
239. Glenn Miller - In the Mood
     
240. Kid Bloom - Control
     
241. The Cinematic Orchestra - To Build A Home
     
242. Marvin Gaye - I Heard It Through The Grapevine
     
243. Brenda Lee - If You Love Me (Really Love Me)
     
244. TV Girl - Lovers Rock
     
245. Art Lown - Knew You Well
     
246. Dean Martin - Ain't That A Kick In The Head
     
247. Miniature Tigers - Like or Like Like
     
248. Electric Light Orchestra - Sweet Talkin' Woman
     
249. The Hunts - Ages
     
250. The Cars - Good Times Roll
     
251. Bill Withers - Lovely Day
     
252. Drake - God's Plan
     
253. Kansas - Point of Know Return
     
254. The Neighbourhood - Stargazing
     
255. The Clash - Rock the Casbah
     
256. Hop Along - What the Writer Meant
     
257. Briston Maroney - Under My Skin
     
258. Jack Stauber - Buttercup
     
259. King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard - Ya Love
     
260. Ginger Root - Loretta
     
261. Thompson Twins - Hold Me Now
     
262. Frank Ocean - Pyramids
     
263. Kate Bush - Running Up That Hill (A Deal With God)
     
264. Destroy Boys - I Threw Glass at My Friend's Eyes and Now I'm on Probation
     
265. Mild High Club - Dionysian State
     
266. Franz Ferdinand - Take Me Out
     
267. Kevin Abstract - Empty
     
268. The Frights - Crust Bucket
     
269. Stealers Wheel - Stuck In The Middle With You
     
270. The Shins - Fighting in a Sack
     
271. fun. - We Are Young (feat. Janelle Monáe)
     
272. Lil Uzi Vert - Money Longer
     
273. Miniature Tigers - Cannibal Queen
     
274. The Doors - Touch Me
     
275. Jean Dawson - Clear Bones
     
276. King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard - Catching Smoke
     
277. Molchat Doma - Люди Надоели
     
278. The Go-Go's - Our Lips Are Sealed
     
279. Billie Eilish - ocean eyes
     
280. BOYO - Crown
     
281. The 1975 - Somebody Else
     
282. Husbands - She's a Betty
     
283. Syd Barrett - If It's In You
     
284. Trash Panda - Atlanta Girls
     
285. Frank Ocean - Godspeed
     
286. Alice Phoebe Lou - Glow
     
287. Childish Gambino - Redbone
     
288. New Order - Blue Monday
     
289. Post Animal - Schedule
     
290. Harry Styles - Fine Line
     
291. Harry James - I'll Get By (As Long As I Have You)
     
292. Depeche Mode - Never Let Me Down Again
     
293. Chet Baker - I Fall In Love Too Easily
     
294. The Cranberries - Put Me Down
     
295. John Mayer - Edge of Desire
     
296. George Harrison - All Those Years Ago
     
297. Electric Light Orchestra - The Diary of Horace Wimp
     
298. Alex Clare - Too Close
     
299. Eric B. & Rakim - Know The Ledge
     
300. Peter Frampton - Show Me The Way [Live]
     
301. Simon & Garfunkel - Mrs. Robinson
     
302. Black Eyes - Deformative
     
303. The Righteous Brothers - Unchained Melody
     
304. Bonny Light Horseman - Deep In Love
     
305. The Walker Brothers - The Sun Ain't Gonna Shine Anymore
     
306. Cage The Elephant - Cigarette Daydreams
     
307. Hot Flash Heat Wave - Raindrop
     
308. Clairo - Sofia
     
309. Kendrick Lamar - PRIDE.
     
310. Camille Saint-Saëns - The Swan
     
311. Weezer - Say It Ain't So
     
312. C418 - Sweden
     
313. Lana Del Rey - Let The Light In (feat. Father John Misty)
     
314. The Postal Service - Such Great Heights
     
315. Pickin' On Series - Those to Come
     
316. Lana Del Rey - Grandfather please stand on the shoulders of my father while he's deep-sea fishing (feat. RIOPY)
     
317. John Mayer - Moving On and Getting Over
     
318. Field Medic - POWERFUL LOVE
     
319. Cage The Elephant - Flow
     
320. Joji - Run
     
321. The Who - Won't Get Fooled Again
     
322. Boston - Peace of Mind
     
323. Ben E. King - This Magic Moment
     
324. David Bowie - Starman
     
325. Beastie Boys - Sabotage
     
326. Harry Belafonte - Banana Boat (Day-O)
     
327. Gene Krupa & His Orchestra - Rhumboogie
     
328. The Cardigans - Lovefool
     
329. The Kinks - You Really Got Me
     
330. The Zombies - She's Coming Home
     
331. Michael Jackson - Thriller
     
332. Moxie - Blue Skies
     
333. The Mamas & The Papas - Straight Shooter
     
334. Peter, Paul and Mary - Don't Think Twice, It's All Right
     
335. Green Day - Brain Stew
     
336. Dua Lipa - Levitating (feat. DaBaby)
     
337. The Police - Roxanne
     
338. Britney Spears - Toxic
     
339. Tears For Fears - Head Over Heels
     
340. Rex Orange County - Pluto Projector
     
341. The Strokes - Call It Fate, Call It Karma
     
342. Portugal. The Man - Feel It Still
     
343. The Black Crowes - Twice As Hard
     
344. Ted Nugent - Stranglehold
     
345. fun. - Some Nights
     
346. Wings - Silly Love Songs
     
347. Paramore - Still into You
     
348. Peter Frampton - Baby, I Love Your Way [Live]
     
349. The Monkees - Last Train to Clarksville
     
350. Royel Otis - Oysters In My Pocket
     
351. The Backseat Lovers - Growing/Dying
     
352. Nelly Furtado - Say It Right
     
353. Post Animal - Goggles
     
354. Erik Satie - Gymnopédie No. 1
     
355. Childish Gambino - IV. Sweatpants
     
356. Steely Dan - Dirty Work
     
357. ABBA - Lay All Your Love On Me
     
358. Still Woozy - Goodie Bag
     
359. Arlo Parks - Black Dog
     
360. Goth Babe - Weekend Friend
     
361. George & the Handsomes - Sleepy Beats
     
362. boygenius - 20
     
363. The Mills Brothers - You Always Hurt The One You Love
     
364. Travis Scott - SICKO MODE
     
365. Pinegrove - Need 2
     
366. The Backseat Lovers - Sinking Ship
     
367. Franz Schubert - Ave Maria
     
368. Zac Brown Band - Knee Deep (feat. Jimmy Buffett)
     
369. Justin Timberlake - Mirrors
     
370. Simon & Garfunkel - Cecilia
     
371. The Cranberries - Zombie
     
372. Daniel Caesar - Japanese Denim
     
373. Billie Holiday - Easy Living
     
374. ISLAND - By Your Side
     
375. Phil Collins - Tomorrow Never Knows
     
376. Bob Dylan - The Times They Are A-Changin'
     
377. The Four Freshmen - Day By Day
     
378. Fleetwood Mac - The Chain
     
379. Billy Joel - Big Shot
     
380. Billie Eilish - Happier Than Ever
     
381. Yot Club - down bad
     
382. Rihanna - Stay
     
383. Fleetwood Mac - Landslide
     
384. Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky - Swan Lake, Op. 20, Act 2: No. 10, Scene. Moderato
     
385. The White Stripes - Fell In Love With a Girl
     
386. Alvvays - Easy On Your Own?
     
387. Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit - If We Were Vampires
     
388. Blackway - What's Up Danger (with Black Caviar)
     
389. Albert Hammond - It Never Rains in Southern California
     
390. Matt Maltese - Jupiter
     
391. John Denver - Mother Nature's Son
     
392. Childish Gambino - Sober
     
393. Claire Rosinkranz - Pools and Palm Trees
     
394. The Cars - Just What I Needed
     
395. The Doors - Light My Fire
     
396. Blondie - Tomorrow Never Knows
     
397. King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard - Hell's Itch
     
398. The Japanese House - Saw You In A Dream
     
399. Franz Schubert - String Quartet No. 13 in A Minor, Op. 29 No. 1, D. 804
     
400. The Drifters - White Christmas
     
401. The 1975 - Robbers
     
402. George Harrison - Between The Devil And The Deep Blue Sea
     
403. The Frights - Tongues
     
404. Paramore - Ain't It Fun
     
405. Billy Joel - Pressure
     
406. Frank Sinatra - My Way
     
407. Art Lown - Going Back to Carolina
     
408. Bruno Mars - Just the Way You Are
     
409. Under The Rug - Lonesome & Mad
     
410. The Mamas & The Papas - Dedicated To The One I Love
     
411. Foster The People - Sit Next to Me
     
412. Weezer - Undone - The Sweater Song
     
413. Michael Jackson - Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'
     
414. Tia Blake - Plastic Jesus
     
415. Los Bravos - Bring a Little Lovin'
     
416. Lady Gaga - Bad Romance
     
417. Minnie Riperton - Les Fleurs
     
418. Billy Idol - Dancing with Myself
     
419. Cody Fry - I Hear a Symphony
     
420. Gringo Sapiens - Driver's Licence
     
421. Vacations - Relax
     
422. Glitter Party - time waits
     
423. Steve Lacy - Bad Habit
     
424. The Crystals - Then He Kissed Me
     
425. The Pied Pipers - Mairzy Doats
     
426. Mitski - Bug Like an Angel
     
427. James Ray - I've Got My Mind Set On You
     
428. Clairo - Bubble Gum
     
429. Masayoshi Takanaka - SEXY DANCE
     
430. Nat King Cole - (I Love You) For Sentimental Reasons
     
431. Sleigh Bells - Crown On the Ground
     
432. Olivia Rodrigo - favorite crime
     
433. No Doubt - Just A Girl
     
434. Foreigner - Long, Long Way from Home
     
435. Heart - Crazy On You
     
436. The Hunts - Darlin'
     
437. David Bowie - Heroes
     
438. Alice Phoebe Lou - Hammer
     
439. Thee Oh Sees - Toe Cutter - Thumb Buster
     
440. Roar - I Can't Handle Change
     
441. TV Girl - Birds Dont Sing
     
442. Laufey - From The Start
     
443. Chas McDevitt Skiffle Group - Freight Train (feat. Nancy Whiskey)
     
444. Metro Boomin - Am I Dreaming
     
445. Liana Flores - rises the moon
     
446. POP ETC - Speak Up
     
447. Jean Knight - Mr. Big Stuff
     
448. The Platters - Twilight Time
     
449. Derek & The Dominos - Layla
     
450. King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard - Homeless Man in Adidas
     
451. Charlie Burg - Lovesong (The Way)
     
452. Hot Flash Heat Wave - Gutter Girl
     
453. ABBA - Fernando
     
454. Mitski - My Love Mine All Mine
     
455. Savannah Conley - More Than Fine
     
456. Young the Giant - Mind Over Matter
     
457. Future Crib - Yer Movin'
     
458. Bob Dylan - Like a Rolling Stone
     
459. benches - Violent
     
460. Musical Youth - Pass The Dutchie
     
461. Olivia Rodrigo - vampire
     
462. Ryan Gosling, Emma Stone - City Of Stars
     
463. Maya Hawke - Thérèse
     
464. Current Joys - A Different Age
     
465. Wayne Newton - Danke Schoen
     
466. La Roux - Bulletproof
     
467. Jason Segel, Walter - Man Or Muppet
     
468. U2 - I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For
     
469. The Raconteurs - Steady, As She Goes
     
470. The Ink Spots - Into Each Life Some Rain Must Fall
     
471. Ace of Base - The Sign
     
472. Vulfpeck - 1612
     
473. Nordista Freeze - Hey GiGi
     
474. The Chainsmokers - New York City
     
475. Suki Waterhouse - Johanna
     
476. Pete Rodriguez - I Like It Like That
     
477. Calvin Harris - Summer
     
478. The Rare Occasions - Notion
     
479. a-ha - Take on Me
     
480. Rush - Working Man
     
481. Traffic - Dear Mr. Fantasy
     
482. Starbuck - Moonlight Feels Right
     
483. Van Halen - Drop Dead Legs
     
484. The Troggs - Wild Thing
     
485. Led Zeppelin - Good Times Bad Times
     
486. The Byrds - Turn! Turn! Turn! (To Everything There Is a Season)
     
487. Cream - Sunshine Of Your Love
     
488. Justin Timberlake - SexyBack (feat. Timbaland)
     
489. David Bowie - Suffragette City
     
490. Ludwig van Beethoven - Sonata No. 14 in C-Sharp Minor, Op. 27, No. 2 "Moonlight"
     
491. Avicii - Wake Me Up
     
492. The Who - La-La-La-Lies
     
493. The Spinners - The Rubberband Man
     
494. MGMT - Time to Pretend
     
495. Hootie & The Blowfish - Only Wanna Be With You
     
496. Sheck Wes - Mo Bamba
     
497. Claire Rosinkranz - 123
     
498. Ringo Starr - Photograph
     
499. The Proclaimers - I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)
     
500. Duran Duran - Rio
     

Original thread: https://www.reddit.com/lymphoma/s/RYLvxwv67l
We met with the team today. BMT, oncology, nephrology and psychology. They led off the discuss by saying this is going to be all about managing time.
They laid out some options, but there's no data to show that any of them would lead to cure. This lymphoma is particularly nasty and aggressive it's additionally complicated by the fact that she has a transplanted kidney from my wife. The options ranged from going out guns blazing to doing nothing and my wife and I decided on something middle of the road that might give us more time with her, without her being in the hospital for the moment.
I cried. I cried so hard. I'm crying now. There are no words that can describe this pain. My girl just can't catch a break.
It was time to tell her about her results. They asked if we wanted them to tell her, but I insisted I do it. I know how to talk to her. I told her that the bad cells showed up in the results again, but only a tiny amount. I told her they're going to use some drugs to light it up so the British cells she got from that guy can see it and go after it. It won't be nearly as bad as the transplant and she won't even have to stay in the hospital. Instead, we're going to go on a road trip across the country to Disneyland and see a bunch of national parks on the way.
She said ok.
There are no words for the feelings and emotions I'm experiencing right now. I'm terribly sad and full of dread yet I don't want to miss a moment being with her. How do I keep myself from crying? There's nothing I can do to save her.

As a pale olive, it is so so so so so hard to find the correct foundation shade, nonetheless formula! Please keep talking about how olive is an undertone so hopefully brands can start including shades for us! Also I don't know how valid this is but as an east asian I swear a LOT of my east asian family/friends are olive undertoned, has anyone noticed this too?

I just wanted to see if anyone can relate to what I’m experiencing right now. I’m a teenage girl of divorced parents who divorced while I was in Kindergarten. Tonight I’ve had a bit of a spiral of emotions that led me to the fact that I’m always subconsciously comparing households. I’m pretty close with my mom, and when my dad messes up on something she’s fairly open to tell me why it was wrong and provide examples of what he’s done before. She claims that she’s done hiding stuff from me about him but I think that’s just an excuse to get a dig at her ex. I think it’s totally inappropriate and I would appreciate it if she were to let me come to her rather than spouting out her own advice. Other than that, we’re very close and I tell her about everything. She’s always understood my style, my hobbies, my interests and personalities. My dad, however, does not seem very well versed about me. I wouldn’t mind, until the whole divorce thing comes up. I think that because I come from my moms, where everything is like if I spat up my personality and threw it all over my walls and clothes, to my dads house, which is very regulated and I have to try hard to find stuff that I like, is very hard for me. At my mom’s house, my every need is met. From clothes to hair care to furniture, my mom will come home from a random shopping trip with something that is perfectly me. But at my dad’s house it’s just not that comfortable feeling. I think in the past few weeks I’ve asked for something different each week. I think it was a hair brush, then hair ties, then socks, then a pillow. This might be fine, but in the back of my mind I’m thinking “why do I act so spoiled? Why am I always demanding something?” And I freak myself out because I feel like my dad is gonna get annoyed with me asking for something all the time and I’ll just miss the cozy feeling of my moms house and it’s just not fair to my dad for me to just not want to have this constant pressure to know exactly what I want and need. Thank you for listening, I think I just needed somewhere to write and for people to relate. Have an amazing day ❤️❤️❤️

So in the flashback arc we get the statement from Satoda sensei that those 3, Sakamoto, Nagumo, and Rion, can beat anyone if they work together. Now obviously Sakamoto and Nagumo are currently injured and Rion isn’t exactly around and they’re fighting a freaking force of destruction! So why bring this up? Well what if Akira is the replacement for Rion not alt personality Uzuki?
Akira is basically lesser Rion. She’s got the killing pathways, weapon proficiency, and skill when in bloodlust mode. Know I’m not saying she’s anywhere near as lethal as Rion was but she would be a better fit with Sakamoto and Nagumo much better than Uzuki, Rion personality or not. Akira also happens to have a reason to show up at the museum. And a reason to fight Takamura.
My theory is that Gaku will do reasonably well at stalling Takamura for a decent amount of time. Giving Mr. Reindeer enough time to fix up our boys and Akira to show up. We, the reader, and Akira will find out exactly what happened to Rion. I assume this will clear Uzuki and pit all the blame on Asaki. I believe this will be about the point where Gaku loses and round 2 starts. Akira has stated she wants closure for her aunt leading me to believe she’ll want to kill Asaki so she’ll most likely have to go through Takamura to get to him. Sakamoto have a vast amount of experience fighting against and with Rion therefore I posit they would be able to fight with Akira fairly seamlessly. Playing off her strengths and covering for her weaknesses based off of their general experience and time with the Rion.
Lastly we have Kanaguri and his desire to make a great movie. You’d be hard pressed to find a better thing for a movie in the Sakamoto verse than a fight between Takamura the current strongest, Sakamoto the previous strongest, Nagumo top of the order, and a girl hell bent on revenge!

Hi! this is a little embarassing to post here, but i need some input from others.
I (21F) have a crush on my best friend (21M). We've known each other for a year now and have become very close with one another. We hang out pretty much everyday at uni, as well as call/text, send each other tiktoks, and facetime a lot.
I like him, but its hard for me to gauge if he's into me too. It's hard to tell what's a sign (romantic/flirty), or what's just normal things between close friends. If it helps, neither of us have been in relationships (or kissed anyone, or any of that stuff) before. We're both on the same page in terms of those things, haha.
I feel like some of the things we do are not normal 'guy-girl' friendship things; these seem to go beyond that. I've been interpreting these things as more "romantic" than what normal friends do. Can you guys help me figure out what seems like a sign, and what doesn't?

• He calls me pretty, constantly. Many times, he has told me that I'm a "pretty girl" and that I can get away with a lot of things. Him calling me pretty has come up more times than I can count.
• We facetime for hours, even late into the night (until 3-4 am). Not playing games together, just talking about things.
• He has introduced me to his close friends (even outside of school). One weekend, he invited me to come with him to 3 parties in a row (same weekend)
• Everyone assumes we are dating (family, mutual friends, professors all assume it.)
• I don't ask for relationship advice, he will just start telling me it sometimes.
  • says stuff like "if you want to get a guy to like you, do ____. That's worked on me."
  • once i broke a bet i made with him, and he kept going on about how you can't lie to your partner in a relationship. I told him he's not my partner, but he still kept talking about it.
• Once (on another late night facetime call) he asked about my relationship status, and if I've had my first kiss yet.
• Worries about my health, A LOT.
  • a few months ago, i was dealing with some eye problems, when i complained to him about it, he went on searching online for symptoms and fixes. every time i saw him, he would ask how my eyes are doing, and point out other things he searched up that it could be. Months later, eyes are fixed now, yet he still asks: "how are your eyes? do they still hurt?"
  • I used to drink too much coffee, and everyday he would always nag at me to stop. He'd tell me it was bad for my overall health, anxiety, etc. Eventually he made up a bet to get me to drink less caffiene.
• This one makes me think a lot: he worried about my courseload/extracurriculars at school, and how much I can handle. He then made a list of classes I could do instead to help make things easier for me.
  • He got worried for me, asking if I really could manage all of that at once. He then went through our college's list of minors and courses and tried to find something easier for me to do so that I wouldn't be overwhelmed.
  • He even told me on a facetime call about it: "One day you're going to have a nice boyfriend, and you won't have any time for him if you get involved in all of those things around school."
  • (I understand that it is good to have a friend look out for you. but some of this seems above and beyond what even I would do for a close friend.)

Sorry for the long post! I'm happy to have a supportive friend. But some of the things that we do don't feel like normal 'girl-guy' friendship things.
What do you guys think? Are these signs?

I had a hard day. I feel like I need to put this is writing because I know I’m not good at expressing myself. Maybe this will help another stay at home mom out there that feels alone. Before I start, I want to mention that I am extremely grateful for my situation because as most people, no way could I afford child care.
Today, my toddler was sick. We went to the doctor early today to get him medicine and checked to make sure it wasn’t something more serious. Luckily it wasn’t but we’re definitely in for the long haul on this cold. I also feel myself getting sick which doesn’t help how tired I’m feeling.
Obviously I know today is an outlier because working from home with my son is usually a breeze. He takes long naps, he plays, he wants cuddles and to play outside. He’s so independent and I love that for him. But when he’s sick, he wants me the most. I totally understand because I was a mamas girl when I was sick too. Trying to get just a single task done today felt almost impossible.
I think what’s frustrating me the most, obviously isn’t him but, is that I’m most likely not going to be able to go into work for the meetings I have this week. Again not a huge deal because I can just zoom in when I need to. I think the frustrating part is I feel like my job means less. If our son is sick, I have to stay home and take time off and not my husband. He’s the bread winner so of course it makes sense that I have to take the time off and put his career first because we’d literally be no where without him. I’d also like to note that my husband is incredible. He does everything for me and our son and never blinks an eye. It’s not him telling me I have to do these things. It’s me telling me that “no don’t ask him, he literally just worked a long shift. Figure it out yourself. Don’t ask for help. You can do this. You have to stay home. Don’t ask him to stay home. You chose this career.”
It’s crazy how that looks on paper but I truly stand by those thoughts.
My career feels less important. My work feels less important. My stress feels less important. My tiredness feels less important. Everything feels less important.
I am a mom. I have to just keep chugging because I am his mom. Shit is tough and I have to keep going because what else am I supposed to do.
Today I felt alone and sad and frustrated. But I also feel like I have no right to those feelings because he’s sick. I feel like I’m constantly in a battle with myself. I don’t feel like the me I was before a baby (obviously duh) but personality wise I feel different most days.
On top of that, I haven’t fully grieved the loss of my dog and I really feel like that is effecting me emotionally. I think that factors into the loneliness because I also had her at the end of the night or in the middle of the day to cuddle with and really decompress.
Today was hard but honestly everyday has an aspect of being hard. When my husband says, “oh yeah he was so easy for me”. I’m so grateful for that but it also sucks because then why am I struggling? I know it’s because again, he’s a mamas boy and I’m always home so obviously he’s most attached to me. I know one day I’ll miss this but being a mom is hard.
At this point, I don’t even know what I’m getting at…I guess if you’re also a mom out there feeling alone and less than. Just know I’m here too feeling those feelings. Which I guess makes us not alone…

I (18f) have lost 94 pounds so far through calorie deficit and exercise. My start weight was 262 lbs and I’m 168 lbs now. I’m 5’8.5. I am closer and closer to my goal weight but for some reason, it feels like I’m still so far away from the beauty standard and I know that I should still be proud of myself and look at how far I’ve come but I just want to feel worthy enough. I do have moments where I feel pretty but I guess I want to be pretty enough as those women who get complimented wherever they go. Or even just women in relationships. People have told me I’m pretty but it’s hard to believe since it has always been other girls.

I've been on HRT for coming up on 3 years. most of the first year was spent on E pills, always taken sublingually, until I switched to injections about 9 months in. I've since been on estradiol cypionate injections steadily, outside of about a year where there was a shortage in the US and I was forced to switch to valerate (hell hell hell), and I take just under 5mg/ml once a week. honestly I sort of did the switch without thinking much about it, I was going through the motions a little bit and just based on what I've read online and the experience of other trans girls around me decided it was what was best for me. but now I'm here, about two years later, and when I really evaluate the last two years I have only had constant problems. my previously dormant asthma issues have come back, I've experienced an increase in stress and anxiety and hair loss and a decrease in libido, I suddenly developed psoriasis on my hands, feet and scalp, and then I randomly had a horrible month in 2022 where I suddenly developed these awful red bumps on my arms (This pic is gross I am sorry) which sort of just died down after a while of me trying to figure out what the hell they were. I just generally have not been happy. I go through wicked periods of depression and dysphoria and I always figure it's just temporary and will subside with time, but for whatever reason I am sitting here today wondering if injections are the culprit. is it possible I am allergic to the oil used in estradiol? knowing that my body is wildly sensitive to medication, is it possible I am just not cut out for the volatility of injections? would switching back to pills, or a combination of patches and pills or gel and pills help me? it's hard to find info or anecdotes shared by trans girls who have quit injections in favor of pills or whatever, it seems that in mtf world injections are often treated like the final boss of transition but I have to imagine that some people just don't react well to them. I would love to hear if anybody has had a similar experience. thank youuuu

I'm sorry for this post. I just feel thr need yo get validation even though this isn't the right sub for it ig? I'm a little drunk atm so vate with me. I've struggle with thoughts of suicide thoughts before. I recently made my girlfriend of a month feel like she wasn't pretty beca7se I let it slip over video chat that I went to the club with a ex friends with benifits and thought they were pretty and everyone was staring at them. She said I haven't called her pretty yet but yet saying that girl was pretty came so east to me. It start a huge fight and I feel so bad. I think I love my current girlfriend but I struggle so hard with telling someone compliments to their face due to my past and I think I mad3 her feel like shit. I really don't think I sho7ld be alive with how badly everyone around me ends up feeling atm. I wrote a ton of ahit in an offline note doc that I think explains it better. I guess I'm sorta looking fora Stanger to talk me down but I 5eally hope someone can suppo4t mu thought process. I feel so bad feeling this way bc I k ow I'm just go8ng yo push mu pain on someone else. Sorry again for the waste of a post truly.

NSFW but not really.
I 31M have a fwb 40F who I see periodically. She is very passionate and curvy and she drives me wild when we get together. It's been a while so I texted her and she said she had a BF but she wanted to hang out soon. She randomly shows up at the restaurant I work at so I text her while she's at the table. She texts back and we meet up near the bathrooms and make out for a hot minute. Afterwards I tell her she's a good girl and if she's awake in a couple hours, to text me and maybe come back when I'm all alone. She just gave me a shit eating grin and said "ok daddy." Needless to say I'm hard as a rock at work and very excited to finally close!

By popular demand, I guess...
I was kinda just being a smart-ass, but some of you wanted more so here it is: epilogues for every NPC as if they didn't continue to travel with Gorion's Ward and instead just decided to live their own life. Obviously, there are some implied alignment changes here.
This turned out to be longer than I expected and I kinda just threw it all together while I was working. Please excuse any typos or sloppy writing.
I want to apologize for one thing, though. Viconia's epilogue really only works if GW is a male, so I had to make that assumption for the sake of her story. If it matters any, I easily play just as many female GWs as I do male GWs. In fact, I probably play more female GWs because I don't care for the romances, frequently play the canon party, and want to nip the lame Jah romance in the bud.
But, to have them all in one place, I included my original smart-ass epilogues with the additional ones I created. Now, every character from BG1 and BG2 has an epilogue. I don't have the EE characters, though, because I play the original games and don't really know them.
So, just for funsies, which one is your favorite and why?
"Anomen continued to wait at the Copper Coronet for a party of adventurers willing to travel with him. Maybe it was the grating sound of his voice, or perhaps the way he leered at women, but he continued to remain alone. Eventually, he needed to find work to make ends meet. With Gorion's Ward having disbanded the slave traders and pit fights, Hendak had to find a new form of entertainment for the patrons. As such, he invented an all male review ladies night, and Anomen found work as a 'dancer'. He left the Most Noble Order of the Radiant Heart to join the less noble order of the pole. He also renounced his faith to Helm and instead allied himself with Waukeen because if you wanna see some groin, you gotta have some coin."
"Despite Gorion's Ward clearing the trolls from her keep, Nalia was not able to reclaim her lands and instead lost her estate to Lord Roenall. The lord offered to let her retain residence in her family's ancestral home, but only in exchange for her hand in marriage. Nalia found the proposition to be repugnant. Instead, she salvaged whatever wealth she could from her family's keep and moved to Athkatla to start a new life. She no longer helped the less fortunate, as she was now among their numbers and had her own problems. Nalia's lack of any practical skills combined with her sense of entitlement sent her into a life of failure followed by drinking and debauchery. She now spends more time back at the Copper Coronet than anywhere else. It is hard to say where she squanders her wealth more, the alcohol, or on the dancers during Ladies Night."
"After the incident with the Planar Sphere, Valygar was finally free of his past, could retire to his cabin, and pursue his true passion: writing. Ironically, the only inspiration he found ended up stemming from his family's checkered past. Valygar's only works that even had middling success were 'Tuesdays with Lavok' and 'Dude, Where's My Planar Sphere', with the latter being made into a production at the Five Flagoons Theater."
"Haer'Dalis continued to work as a performer at the Five Flagoons Theater. Unfortunately, it struggled due to poor management. It might have turned out better if an outside agent with fresh ideas had stepped in, but Gorion's Ward had better things to do than be a bard. While the work was generally steady, the returns were not great and the material was a little low-brow for Haer'Dalis' liking. The tiefling realized he reached rock bottom when he was cast as the lead in a play about a buffoon who apparently lost a plane-shifting apparatus the size of a small castle and had to find it before his parents returned from Neverwinter. After the opening night, he took his own life in his dressing room. His body was found the next morning with a note saying, 'Art is dead and I am art, so I shall join art in death.' Biff the Understudy stepped in for Haer'Dalis despite never having an opportunity to read the script. Nevertheless, the production was a resounding success and launched Biff's career to new heights."
“A heartbroken Garrick found work as a character actor at the Five Flagoons Theater, but eventually gained more success as a writer and director. He found it to be a mostly agreeable situation, aside from a tiefling primadonna who would constantly belittle his work and call it ”trite" and “drivel”. Fortunately, that situation worked itself out in time and Garrick found Biff to be much easier to direct. With the tiefling gone, his ideas had room to grow. He invented a new kind of love story, one where the protagonist doesn't always get the girl at the end but the journey to that ending would be quite amusing. He labeled this genre “the Comedy of Romance” and the works were mostly based on his own life. His plays were quite popular among the commoners, with his top selling shows being 'Sleepless in Saradush', 'Silverymoon Linings Playbook', and 'Crazy Rich Aasimars'. He eventually fully transitioned off the stage into the director's chair. By the peak of his fame, he was married to none other than Queen Ellesime."
“Aerie continued to work at the circus and WOULD NOT SHUT UP ABOUT HER DAMN WINGS. Even Quayle eventually grew sick of hearing about it. This put strain on their relationship. Things took a turn for the better when Ribald Barterman acquired a new curiosity for his shop. It was a magical ring which he sold to Quayle at a reduced rate out of sympathy. This ”treasure" was actually a cursed Ring of Deafness, which Quayle found to be anything but a curse and wore it for the rest of his days."
“Xzar and Montaron were both slain at the hands of the Athkatla Harpers, but this is actually where their story begins. Xzar, as he had done so many times before, had a backup plan of an arcane nature should death befall either he or the halfling. Their mortal essences were pulled to a pocket plane he created. There they could be channeled into restored bodies cloned at his estate. With this particular round of ritual, Xzar had incidentally made a slight error in the incantation and the two found themselves in a time suspended state in Xzar's pocket plane. It was only five minutes for the rest of the world, but it was fifty years for them. This turned out to be a pivot point in their relationship. Having only each other's company in this shadowy void, they were finally able to work out their feelings for each other. When they had returned to the prime material plane, they discovered their mutual animosity was replaced with love. Rather than pick up their life where they left off with the Zhentarim, they decided to pack it all in, moved to Bryn Shander, and start a bed and breakfast. Montaron rediscovered his halfling roots and love for the culinary arts while Xzar would perform seances to connect guests with their late loved ones. Scones and Bones became an overnight success and was consistently listed as a “must see” in Volo's travel guides. In their golden years, the couple co-wrote a memoir of their journey, ‘Brokeback Montaron’, which is sold in bookstores everywhere."
“After briefly crossing paths with Gorion's Ward, Mazzy Fentan continued her crusade as a de facto halfling paladin. She eventually found herself petitioning for membership at the Most Noble Order of the Radiant Heart in Athkatla after she had singlehandedly saved a village from an ancient dracolich. Despite the extent of her virtue and accomplishment, her petition was denied on the basis that halflings could not possibly be real paladins. This inspired her next crusade, one to break down vocational barriers for all demihuman races. Why couldn't halflings be paladins or dwarves be wizards? And why did gnomes always have to be illusionists? It simply made no goddamn sense. She began to get traction with her quest when she attended lectures by the wizards of the (sword) coast in Candlekeep. With their help, she ushered Faerun into a new edition era where there would be no vocational barriers for adventurers based on their race. Soon, the world began to see roguish halflings that also venerated Helm, while tending to the wilds as a druid. Half-orc bards also studied as wizards while manifesting natural arcane abilities as sorcerers. Tiefling paladins took their crusades to the wilderness and served as rangers, while sidelining as clergy to Mystra. The world was now a liberated place, free to not make any goddamn sense in a myriad of new ways. At one point, Lady Mazzy Fentan of Trademeet (now formally a paladin) crossed paths with a dwarven shadowdancebard and in that moment she regretted everything. Seriously, just take a moment and picture that. It would look fucking ridiculous.”
“Yeslick's clanhome was flooded once again. Despondent and without options, he took work at a smithy in Baldur's Gate but never stopped dreaming of finding both a clan and a home. He found a way to bring this dream to life after a courageous halfling paladin broke down the barriers for, among other things, dwarves to be wizards. Yeslick had an idea. He studied magic diligently until he was able to cast two spells of great importance: Water Breathing and Permanence. He then searched the lands for other clanless dwarves who would be willing to try something new. With the new clan he formed, Yeslick permanently gave all his fellow clansman the ability to breath underwater. They then moved into the flooded Cloakwood Mines and built the first underwater dwarven stronghold. Using his arcane powers, Yeslick also developed the ability to speak with the marine life that shared this stronghold. And, with that, the clan Aquadwarf was born. At one point, Valygar visited and wrote a play based on Yeslick's story. However, he couldn't even get it to stage at the Five Flagoons Theater. The illustrious director Garrick was quoted as saying, “A hero that can breath underwater and talk to fish? Nobody would go for that!"
“Keldorn finally retired from the Most Noble Order of the Radiant Heart and looked forward to a much simpler life. He rekindled his marriage with Lady Maria and life seemed to improve. It was rather early on when the couple discovered that Maria had become pregnant again. It was also not long after that when Peony, the housekeeper, also became pregnant. Maria started to ask Keldorn about this, but Keldorn started to get defensive and asked, ”Hey, who's the Inquisitor here?" Then Keldorn started to do the math with her to track the conception of Maria's pregnancy. She certainly did not want him to get to the end of that equation, so she quickly changed the subject. She suggested getting a new maid, but Keldorn chastised her for abandoning someone in their time of need who had been like family for years. He forbade Peony's departure claiming that his god, Torm, would not stand for it. Maria then made a passive aggressive comment about Torm being the god of loyalty, but she was mostly just muttering under her breath to get the last word in. Eventually, both children were born and had probably the most awkward upbringing of anyone in Faerun."
“After Gorion's Ward helped Coran take down a wyvern, the rogue brought the beast's head back to the mayor of Beregost for the reward and accolades. He thought this put him in a position to be a hero of great renown and perhaps, just maybe, people would stop mocking him for his flashy attire and completely superfluous eye mask. They didn't. He only gained acceptance when he crossed paths with a ranger who seemed indifferent towards Coran's keen fashion sense. Coran traveled the Sword Coast with his ranger sidekick, righting the wrongs against the ‘little guy’ and taking the law into their own hands when needed. This partnership dissolved when he discovered that the ranger thought Coran was the sidekick. As if! Coran tried to correct the ranger, whose argument was, 'Really, man, if that outfit doesn't scream sidekick then I'm Elminster's twin brother.' The ranger was not related to Elminster and shared no resemblance.
“Kivan never was able to get his revenge on Tazok. Unbeknownst to him, that honor was taken by Gorion's Ward. His thirst for vengeance continued to eat away at him until he found himself in a bat infested cave in the wilderness. It was then he snapped. He turned the cave into his secret hideaway, put together a disguise and started wandering the sword coast looking for evil-doers to punish. He would leave his calling card wherever he saved the day, a token of a bat with longer ears like an elf. And bats already had rather long ears so these bat ears were almost comically obtrusive. Nevertheless, his deeds were generally appreciated and the people stared calling him Bat-elf. For a short spell, another elf tagged along with him and tried to help, but he was so flamboyantly dressed that one could pick his sidekick out of the shadows blindfolded. Kivan eventually had to send him on his way. Unfortunately, his vigilante crusade abruptly ended after receiving a cease and decist order from DC Comics. Kivan could fight both monster and marauder all day, but his 14 Constitution wouldn't hold up against a lawsuit for trademark infringement.”
“Skie was deeply affected by both the death of her brother and the assassination of her father. And yes, her father was actually murdered and didn't lol-jk back to life in some crappy DLC. In any event, through these traumas, she came to realize the puerility of what she thought was her brilliant criminal masterminding. Instead, she decided to settle down and live a more responsible life as an upstanding citizen of Baldur's Gate. She took the reins of her father's estate after his death and rose to prominence as one of the Grand Dukes of the city. She maintained her relationship with Eldoth for quite some time, inexplicably, as he refused to get a job because he didn't want to take attention from his band which he swore was going to make it. However, the bard spent most of the day either lounging at Skie’s estate or gambling away his allowance with games of three-dragon-ante at the Helm and Cloak. Eventually, inspired by the book “Men Are From Menzoberranzan, Women Are From Immilmar," she decided to call it quits with Eldoth and sent him packing. Shortly thereafter, she met a man who was nothing like Eldoth and they settled down together to start a family."
“Eldoth's dreams of being a world-famous musician fronting the greatest band in Faerun never reached fruition. This was partly because he didn't actually have a band and partly because he didn't have the talent to write music. Instead, he just had a lute he purchased at Lucky Aello's Discount Store that only had one A-string and was missing the E-string. Also, Eldoth could only play power chords and he couldn't really sing and play at the same time. Most of the time he would just strum a chord or two and then talk about what the song would do next, often describing a solo and half playing it on an ”air lute" (while he was still holding an actual lute, mind you) to give people the idea as to how the song would sound when it was finally written. Yeah, he was one of those guys. After Skie kicked him to the curb, he bounced between various barmaids who clearly had low self-esteem, but not low enough to keep him around for long. Eventually, he got one of them pregnant and was forced into a shotgun wedding by the barmaid's father. He now works in the kitchen at the same inn as his barmaid wife. She helps the customers up front and he cooks eggs in the back. Eldoth continues to tell himself that this experience will just provide inspiration for his music and that someday he was going to get the band back together."
“After being rescued by Gorion's Ward, Xan made his way to Baldur's Gate to regroup. He spent an inordinate amount of time beating himself up over his failures and trying to muster the gumption to continue his quest to unravel the political turmoil of the region. However, it took him months to get to this point, and by that time, Gorion's Ward already sorted out the problems in the region. Discovering this, he deemed himself a failure yet again and sunk into a deeper depression. He pulled himself out of it when he met a woman who lost most of her family to violent deaths during the iron crisis, yet she still kept herself together and became a local success in a few short years. Xan immediately fell in love with the recently single Skie Silvershield and began to court her. They eventually married and started a family. At Xan's insistence, and inspired by his wife's name, their two daughters were named Sunshine and Rainbow. Xan was a staunch supporter of his wife's career and stayed home to raise the kids. When they were older and needed less attending, he followed a new dream and became a motivational speaker.”
“Korgan had his revenge against his backstabbing crew and employer, but he felt...empty. It was done, but he felt no satisfaction. Disgruntled and disappointed, he decided to lose himself in his cups at the Copper Coronet. Even this did nothing to alleviate his malaise. One night, having passed out drunk in a peasant room at the Copper Coronet, he dreamt of that final fight but something was different. In the background of the battle, there was a glow coming from the door of a shack and he heard the whispering of a language that sounded like it was from Kara-Tur. When he woke the next morning, Korgan returned to the rooftop and found the shack from his dream. He knocked and was greeted by a priest of Illmater. Korgan told the priest of his dream and he was led into the backroom where he found a man from Kara-Tur infirm and huddled over a cup of tea. The priest explained that he had just reincarnated this man of the faith using a heart delivered by a passing adventurer. Korgan took this as a sign, converted to the faith, and the two paired up to help those in suffering as a result of the schemes of others. The tales of Korgan and Yoshimo were not only told in many of a tavern by the bards, but also collected in graphic serials that were popular among the children of Athkatla.”
“Ajantis' death sent him into an afterlife at Everwatch, the realm of Helm. For his honor and diligence, the devout knight was granted an audience with his patron. Ajantis then told Helm what utter bullshit the god was. I mean, c'mon, he's the god of protection, the Vigilant One, and he couldn't protect a group of knights from a dragon's cheap illusion spell that a mage even tried to dispel with True Sight? It was like Helm wasn't even trying. Helm was stunned by the confrontation but also had no valid defense. Ajantis called Helm to a trial that was mediated by Tyr. After careful deliberation, Tyr determined that Helm was sleeping on the job and the judgment was to demote him to a lesser deity. Now, Helm was the patron of guards, but not actual guards that ever see action, just the ceremonial ones whose weapons and armor are super shiny and probably not even real. Ajantis was then granted Helm's old portfolio and became a god that truly protected his followers.”
“Viconia left Athkatla's government district perplexed. She was rescued from burning at the stake by Gorion's Ward and then immediately dismissed. She found this to be unusual behavior for a male. She was accustomed to men either trying to bed her or kill her, but this casual indifference was completely new. Viconia came to be obsessed with Gorion's Ward from a distance. She spiraled into a fantasy where the two of them had a future together. It was pretty bad. There were some extremely embarrassing vision boards involved and that wasn't even the worst of it. When her mania reached critical mass, her obsession actually collapsed and she had an epiphany. She came to realize that she did not need this man, or any for that matter. She started on a journey of self discovery and took a moral inventory of her past relationships. She wrote about it in the book, “Men Are From Menzoberranzan, Women Are From Immilmar”. She then used the revenue from the book sales to open Athkatla's first feminist bookstore. In Her Words became a mecca for women, particularly those who felt trapped in bad relationships. The community that emerged here created the group, Friends of Galia, which strove to free women from abusive relationships. Eventually, the bookstore expanded to include an apartment block above that became a shelter for such women. Occasionally, the partners of these victims would come around to In Her Words in an attempt to drag their partners back home. You can probably guess how a confrontation between a drunken 0-level commoner and a Drow priestess of Shar ends."
“Faldorn was defeated by Jaheira in Trademeet and lost her title of Arch-Druid. In truth, she was relieved to be relieved of the position. Years of pushing forward the Shadow Druid agenda led Faldorn to realize that she had lost touch with the real Faldorn along the way. After some soul-searching, she reinvented herself as a lifestyle guru and developed an entire line of organic health and beauty products under the name, She-Wolf. Both her products and seminars were all the rage in Athkatla, specifically among noblewomen who clearly had too much free time. Faldorn eventually gave up her residence in natural environs for a lavish estate in Athkatla's government district. Her following soon pressured her to petition to join the Council of Six after the fall of the Cowled Wizards left the position open (aside from a short-term replacement). Her petition was a success and she soon found herself on the Council of Six. Under her leadership, she created created the FDAA, the Food and Drink Association of Athkatla. Now, instead of draconian rules governing magic in the city, equally restrictive rules and standards were applied to the food and drink that the people consumed.”
“Barely surviving being gravely wounded by Irenicus, Tiax left Spellhold for Athkatla where he intended to do what he did best: rule. Learning from his past campaign mistakes in Baldur's Gate, he changed his slogan from ”Tiax Rules!" to “Make Athkatla Great Again”. Of course, what he thought would make Athkatla great was putting himself in charge as a despotic leader. But, he toned down that aspect of his platform and instead focused on the history of scheming and backroom dealing of the Cowled Wizards (as if he was any less evil or scheming) and promised the people he would be different than all the other corrupt politicians. Miraculously, despite his obviously apparent character flaws, he succeeded in replacing the Cowled Wizards' representative on the Council of Six. He decided to take their stance on restrictive magic to the next level and banned magic entirely. Since he didn't study the arcane himself, it was no skin of his nose. This move undermined his support base leaving him with only the most backwards and ignorant followers. He was ultimately removed from his position when he insisted the city build a wall around the planar sphere and was expecting that the city's wizards would be the ones to pay for it. After his removal, his few remaining extreme supporters organized an invasion of the main government building under the guise of freedom of assembly. All nine of these “rebels” were rounded up, tried, and sent to prison. Tiax was convicted of treason and reincarnated in Spellhold, which was now just a common prison. After his eventual release, he was prohibited from seeking any position of power in Amn."
"Edwin Odesseiron continued to lay low with the Shadow Thieves for a while. The Cowled Wizards suffered a crippling blow as a side effect of the conflict between Gorion's Ward and Irenicus. Edwin decided to step in and finish the job. His thought was that he could wipe out the Cowled Wizard remnants and then take credit for their defeat, thereby gaining him more clout among the Red Wizards of Thay. After many conspicuous mage battles in the streets of Athkatla, he succeeded. However, the people who noticed his efforts the most were actually the people of Athkatla. They were tired of living under the Cowled Wizards' iron fist and Edwin was lauded as a liberator and hero. He even had a statue in his image raised in Waukeen's Promenade. Edwin was initially nonplussed over people finally giving him the credit he always felt he so rightfully deserved. But, he quickly came to accept their praise and bought in to being a champion for the people. Edwin continued his agenda of liberation when a clearly insane gnome who found his way on the Council of Six tried to ban magic entirely in the city. Edwin and his followers were primarily responsible for having the madman removed from his seat.
“Shar-Teel, Safana, Branwen, and Alora all happened to cross paths with each other at Elfsong one evening. Shar-Teel was looking to fight a man, Safana was looking to shag a man, Branwen was recently petrified by a man, and Alora was just excited to be somewhere new. The four got to talking with each other and, despite having wildly different personalities, seemed to hit it off. Shar-Teel was sarcastic and aggressive, Safana was self-absorbed and man-hungry, Alora was kind and sweet, and Branwen was the matriarch of the group. You wouldn't think this lot would get along, but they actually did, and their differences merely become the fuel for innocuous hi-jinks week after week.”
"With Gorion's Ward's help, Cernd was able to rescue his child that he then abandoned again at the druid grove near Trademeet. He promised that he would return to raise the child, he just needed to run to the general shop in Trademeet for some pipeweed. He never returned, but that was pretty obvious since he didn’t even smoke. Cernd continued to wander Faerun. It came to light in Cormyr that Cernd had actually married, and had children, with numerous women in Cormyr, Amn, the Sword Coast, Tethyr, Calimshan, Turmish, Halruaa, Icewind Dale, Chondath, Sembia, Impiltur, the Silver Marches, and even the Troll Hills (don't ask). Furthermore, it was discovered that Cernd was not actually a druid, just a werewolf that had a Ring of Goodberries. The druid con was so that he could have a reason to abandon his wives and children and move on to a new situation. You would be surprised at how many women could fall for a guy that can conjure an impromptu picnic in the park. Unfortunately for Cernd, Cormyr was not the kind of place to run afoul of the legal system. For the crime of bigamy, he was sentenced to life in prison. He never set foot near a druid grove again, but he was allowed to participate in a work-release program tending to the gardens of nobles.
“Kagain returned to his shop and grew even more bitter, but not over what the death of Entar Silvershield's son had done to his reputation and business. Instead, he resented that even the Enhanced Edition of the game didn't give him a remotely decent companion quest. By Moradin's hammer, Cernd even had a pretty involved companion quest and the story there both starts and ends with a deadbeat dad! Also, Kagain can regenerate! Korgan can't even do that. And another thing! He was sick of people confusing the two of them as if all dwarves look alike or something. Ok, granted, they're both old dwarves with greying beards, but Korgan's beard is tied while Kagain's beard is brushed out. Of course, none of this made sense to anyone, even to Kagain who never actually crossed paths with Cernd or Korgan. However, the dwarf had nothing to do with his time except stand in his shop, isolated and alone, until he was done in by insanity and plantar fasciitis.”
“The death of Khalid shook Jaheira to the core. She convinced herself that she could never love again, certainly not so soon after his death nor with anyone that would be a child in her eyes. That would be absurd and rather tacky. After her escape from Irenicus' prison and deposing Faldorn from the druid grove, she took over as Arch-Druid. Being a Harper just wouldn't be the same without Khalid. However, the grove would allow her to explore a new, but comfortingly familiar, phase of life. She had barely been installed as the Arch-Druid when Cernd dropped off his child and disappeared again. He did not even stay long enough to tell Jaheira the child's name. Knowing he would likely not return, she named the child Khalid after her lost love. Realizing there were other children our there without families to care for them, Jahaeira would send her subordinates to wander nearby lands and bring them to the grove for a better life. Perhaps not surprisingly, many of these children happened to be Cernd's. She eventually renamed the grove to Kinder Garden in honor of the grove's new purpose of giving these children a kinder upbringing. Jaheira's headstrong personality served her well with these lost children, who all loved her as they would any mother. The Kinder Garden became the most thriving druid grove in all of Faerun. Jaheira eventually died in 1547 DR, with hundreds of children haven been rescued in her lifetime, and a memorial was erected in her honor at the grove. The inscription read, 'Nature's Servant Awaits.'"
“After being freed from Irenicus' dungeon, Minsc put his boots on the ground at the Copper Coronet. Being the simple man that he was, he found himself unwittingly recruited into fighting in the gladiator pits (before Gorion's Ward was able to free the slaves). Yet again, Minsc took a blow to the head. But this time, its effects were something completely new. No longer was he the slow-witted evil-slaying ranger, armed to the teeth and packing a hamster. Instead, his intelligence and wisdom started to blossom and he explored, through dissertation, the impact of modern civilization on the overall ecosystem of Faerun. Indeed, before Minsc started his work, the people of Faerun didn't even have the concept of an ”ecosystem". He left Athkatla to pursue a residency at Jaheira's grove where he could study and work in peace. He published works like, “The Intersection of Geopolitics and Biodiversity: Living More but Dying Sooner”, “The Essential Symbiosis Between the Savage and Civilization”, and “Moral Urbanization: Seeking a More Comprehensive Prosperity”. Minsc continued his studies and writing and ultimately produced enough groundbreaking works to have his own annex in Candlekeep. It was shortly after the dedication of this annex that Minsc disappeared from Faerun, never to be seen again."
“Jan Jansen's fate was the most impressive of all as his endeavors shaped the very fabric of Faerun for centuries to come. His story truly serves as a moral lesson for everyone and we should heed its virtue quite seriously. Helping Lissa and Jaella planted a seed of regret in Lissa with regards to her marriage to Vaelag. Speaking of seeds, this reminds Jan of a time when he was helping his Uncle Scratchy with his turnip farm. However, Uncle Scratchy was hoodwinked and the seeds he received were actually purple carrot seeds. You can imagine Uncle Scratchy's surprise when they sprouted and he suddenly had a field of purple carrots. Well, as you probably know, you can't make turnip stew, or turnip casserole, or turnip pie with purple carrots. But it just so happened there was a mage tower nearby and the resident mage needed a vast number of carrots. Apparently, her plan was to animate them as a kind of vegetable army to combat a myconid infestation in cave system rather close to her tower. Of course, animated carrots are quite self-assured and were immune to myconoid's confusion spores. Anyway, Jan had a once-removed cousin, Bobil, that was lost in those caves when he was a young gnome. He had wandered so deep that he found himself in the den of a solitary xvart who was obsessed with a magic ring. Bobil happened to purloin that ring but it turned out to not be magic at all. However, it was still worth enough for Bobil to buy himself a nice cottage in Trademeet. He then started his own turnip farm and had better luck than Uncle Scratchy. Wait, what were we talking about, again?”
“Boo continued his mission to study the sentient life forms of Faerun and determine their potential impact on the metaverse. He preferred the continued company of Minsc due to the ranger's kindness and protectiveness. Boo found this to be quite valuable in his current miniaturized state. Even after Minsc's accident, where his intellect began to expand, Minsc never lost his good heart and inherent kindness and the two remained the best of friends. It was a number of years later that the term of Boo's mission was complete. A team of his fellow people arrived on a spelljammer to collect the giant miniaturized space hamster. Minsc (and Boo) were on a retreat in a remote part of the Neverwinter Wood when a vessel shaped like a giant acorn landed in a nearby clearing. A number of human-sized anthropomorphic hamster-like beings, who called themselves the Ysoki, emerged and met with Boo. One had a strange crystalline device which it used to restore Boo to his proper size. Minsc naturally remained composed while all this was happening. He and Boo talked often and he knew this day would be coming. Boo returned to the spelljammer with his brethren to debrief on the mission. The Ysoki wanted to bring a sample back to their homeworld for further learning and study. Boo offered Minsc for the task, as the exemplar human would fit in nicely with the Ysoki's advanced culture and society. Everyone was in agreement and made the offer to the ranger. Minsc felt like he had made every contribution he could to the people of Faerun, so he accepted and boarded the ship. Boo, excited to finally be on a spelljammer again, took the helm and plotted a course for his homeworld. At his side sat his friend and faithful companion, Minsc.”

I (26F) met my ex-GF (26F) in college when we were about 20 years old. I dated one guy prior in high school but I never really found myself invested in the relationship (ended with me getting cheated on lol) but anyway. I met my GF, let's call her Lia and I swear the first time I saw her I was just inexplicably drawn to her. She reached out to me on Instagram and we started talking and hitting it off from there. We got together about 4-5 months after and were going pretty steady. She was my first girlfriend and probably my first love as well. Things were going great although we were both closeted and hung out as "Friends". While she was my first GF, I was her second and I'm pretty sure she was still in love with her ex, or perhaps still had some lingering feelings. So anyway, she would compare me to her ex a lot and mention all their little fun and cute times together. It bothered me a whole lot but I decided to accept it because I figured she's with me now and I just wanted to make this work.
There were also instances of her making me jealous by being overly close to this one girl. Like having her sit on Lia's lap and stuff. I was pissed but I guess she enjoyed the attention she got from others and the jealousy from me. More than her ex I was uncomfortable with this current girl (Amy). The final year of college comes and I have a planned trip with my friends in winter. It's not even the second day of the trip and she confesses to me that Amy and her shared a drunk kiss. Amy came onto her and she let her. I was seething at this point and lashed out and she lashed out at me trying to make it seem like it was on me. We broke up.
We got back together during the trip itself though. And it was from this point onwards that I hardly opened up to her that backlash I got after being angry at something I felt was valid, just did something to me. And I've never been the one to be confrontational anyway.
After graduating, I got myself into a Uni across the country and she hadn't got herself in any so I suppose the stress from that, me moving across the country and her home situation got to her to the point that she would lash out at me for small things (gosh I can hardly remember what they were about) and only remember the times I cried. She accused me of cheating since my phone was always busy (the network was so shit where I was, I can't even imagine how I would cheat, also I was just a socially anxious loner who read manga and fed dogs in my free time). But she broke up with me citing religion and how it was against her beliefs (she's catholic). It was bullshit but I cried and let it go. She then wanted to get back and we did.
Any who, all these fights we had seemed to always go in circles because I kept bringing up stuff from the past. I guess it was because I would try to rationalize things I was unhappy with and say I was okay when I wasn't and she would want to move on from the mistake she made. But since I was not over them they kept creeping up.
The second year of Uni comes, and we have a big fight again and she blurts out that Amy (remember her) and her kissed another time when she went for a sleepover (she assured me at the time nothing happened) and I guess she forgot she did, and I was livid and she was livid because I was hung up on the past yet again.
After graduating, I moved back home and Covid hit so I was stuck at home with my parents (think drunk dad who unloads his frustration on wife and kids and submissive mom who thinks he has every right to because he provides for us). So being stuck at home with no job and my parents really did a number on my mental health.
Boom, we have another argument over her bringing up her ex-girlfriend and Lia wondering how things would have turned out with her. I asked her if she was still in love with her ex and she hesitated and said she wasn't sure and that she'd always have a soft spot for her (being her first love and all that). At this point I had enough, cried like a baby and initiated a break up for the first time (all our previous break ups were her doing). I told her our relationship would always be a cycle if we never changed (my toxic trait being saying things were fine when they weren't and hers were lashing out whenever she felt like it) and I couldn't do that anymore because it wasn't to fair to her or me, since I told her things were fine when they weren't and it was too late to acknowledge and validate them now. And that was that.
A lot of things happened and although we communicated from time to time, it wasn't much. I then finally got a job in another city and moved. We started talking more after that she realized how she treated me and wanted to get back. It was about after a year that I decided to get back and try to work things out again. I told her that if at any time we reverted to our old selves, that would be it for us. I looked at the relationship as something to start afresh, but she would always bring up the great times we had in the past. But whenever she brought up stuff from the past of how we used to be, I would also recall the bad and although that sucked, I still tried to hold on to this relationship, thinking maybe we can still work this one out. But my mental health had other plans for me lol. She knew how bad I got during Covid but I suppose I just ever really bounced back up.
I had to moved back home, and started spiralling downwards even more. And I felt like I was only disappointing her, she would ask me if I missed her, how I felt when I met her, saw her, etc. But for me it was like even feeling emotions was a huge plus. I suppose I had some form of dissociation because, I would recognize people - in my head I knew who they were but emotionally just never checked out. I told her how I felt, and she said it was alright and that she didn't mind and just wanted to know if I still saw her the same. I told her that she's the one I want to be in a relationship with. Although, with us being in different cities, and different life plans, we may clash but I wanted to take things as they come. But as time went by, I delved deeper and deeper into isolation and although we talked, I disappointed her numerous times by not being able to respond to sexy or cute texts and calls in kind.
So, I broke up with her because its not fair. Although most of the negatives parts of my relationship are mentioned here, we did have many good times together. She made me feel loved, beautiful, and there were times she believed in me more that I believed in myself. I really only wish her the best.
That is all.

heres a little trans AITA:
okay so me(middle schooler trans boy) and my mom (old ahh cis woman) had kind of a "fight"???? if you could even call it that, about my deadname.i love her so much but i genuinely cant understand her views. like i get that she might feel attatched to my deadname like ofc, you fucking named me, but you say you fully support me and my name change (YOU DO!! FULLY!!! ILYSM) but then like. why is it so hard for her to not say my deadname if she doesnt want to hurt me .like i told her that hearing it, even if not directly calling me it, reminds me of being a girl and being called she/her and wanting to kay em ess and crying every day because of it, yet she wants to say it when talking ab the past?? wild to me. maybe im the asshole bc why should i expect her to be able to immediately let go of my birth name? ok 'immediately' is actually not a good word because i came out literally a year ago. is that not enough time..?? im sorry but if its been enough time to fully accept my name change, pronouns change, and all language you use for me, why isnt it enough time for that same thing to apply to talking about me in the past? i know for a fact that when you think of me in the past you just think of my deadname and your daughter. just, do you HAVE to say that out loud? im just honestly confused how you can be doing everything right with your language in the present, but not at all in the past? heres something she asked me: "if we're supporting you completely as you are now, why can't you accept the past and who you used to be?" i–im sorry?? you're the one who should be told to accept the past if you're telling me that... i am your son. i always was your son, i just didn't know it yet. "there were no signs" and? i wasn't exposed to anythint trans until i got online. when i was like 8 my sister told me about her teacher who wasnt a boy or a girl, used they/them and not traditional she/her or he/him and i was so confused, like i had never even HEARD the term non binary or gay, or queer, let alone transgender. how on earth would i have known i was born exactly how i would come to hate? (NOT saying i hate all female born bodies just my own that was bad wording and idk how else to say it💀🙏🙏)
so um AITA for... hating my name ?????????

heres a little trans AITA: (ok now that i think of it wrong subreddit to post on but i rlly want trans opinions on this so im posting it here.)
okay so me(middle schooler trans boy) and my mom (old ahh cis woman) had kind of a "fight"???? if you could even call it that, about my deadname.i love her so much but i genuinely cant understand her views. like i get that she might feel attatched to my deadname like ofc, you fucking named me, but you say you fully support me and my name change (YOU DO!! FULLY!!! ILYSM) but then like. why is it so hard for her to not say my deadname if she doesnt want to hurt me .like i told her that hearing it, even if not directly calling me it, reminds me of being a girl and being called she/her and wanting to kms and crying every day because of it, yet she wants to say it when talking ab the past?? wild to me. maybe im the asshole bc why should i expect her to be able to immediately let go of my birth name? ok 'immediately' is actually not a good word because i came out literally a year ago. is that not enough time..?? im sorry but if its been enough time to fully accept my name change, pronouns change, and all language you use for me, why isnt it enough time for that same thing to apply to talking about me in the past? i know for a fact that when you think of me in the past you just think of my deadname and your daughter. just, do you HAVE to say that out loud? im just honestly confused how you can be doing everything right with your language in the present, but not at all in the past? heres something she asked me: "if we're supporting you completely as you are now, why can't you accept the past and who you used to be?" i–im sorry?? you're the one who should be told to accept the past if you're telling me that... i am your son. i always was your son, i just didn't know it yet. "there were no signs" and? i wasn't exposed to anythint trans until i got online. when i was like 8 my sister told me about her teacher who wasnt a boy or a girl, used they/them and not traditional she/her or he/him and i was so confused, like i had never even HEARD the term non binary or gay, or queer, let alone transgender. how on earth would i have known i was born exactly how i would come to hate? (NOT saying i hate all female born bodies just my own that was bad wording and idk how else to say it💀🙏🙏)
so um AITA for... hating my name ?????????

I've been on HRT for coming up on 3 years. most of the first year was spent on E pills, always taken sublingually, until I switched to injections about 9 months in. I've since been on estradiol cypionate injections steadily, outside of about a year where there was a shortage in the US and I was forced to switch to valerate (hell hell hell), and I take just under 5mg/ml once a week. honestly I sort of did the switch without thinking much about it, I was going through the motions a little bit and just based on what I've read online and the experience of other trans girls around me decided it was what was best for me. but now I'm here, about two years later, and when I really evaluate the last two years I have only had constant problems. my previously dormant asthma issues have come back, I've experienced an increase in stress and anxiety and hair loss and a decrease in libido, I suddenly developed psoriasis on my hands, feet and scalp, and then I randomly had a horrible month in 2022 where I suddenly developed these awful red bumps on my arms (This pic is gross I am sorry) which sort of just died down after a while of me trying to figure out what the hell they were. I just generally have not been happy. I go through wicked periods of depression and dysphoria and I always figure it's just temporary and will subside with time, but for whatever reason I am sitting here today wondering if injections are the culprit. is it possible I am allergic to the oil used in estradiol? knowing that my body is wildly sensitive to medication, is it possible I am just not cut out for the volatility of injections? would switching back to pills, or a combination of patches and pills or gel and pills help me? it's hard to find info or anecdotes shared by trans girls who have quit injections in favor of pills or whatever, it seems that in mtf world injections are often treated like the final boss of transition but I have to imagine that some people just don't react well to them. I would love to hear if anybody has had a similar experience. thank youuuu

Nothing scandalous here, I just need to vent. I'm less than two months away from turning 30. I've never been in a relationship. I've never had sex. I've never seen a girl naked in person, been seen naked, felt up a girl, slept in a bed with a girl, or even cuddled. I did kiss a girl, but it was just a couple quick kisses on the lips. Hell, my first kiss was also when my last date was, over eight and half years ago. I feel like a failure, a weirdo, an outsider.
I know not everyone is out there having sex in high school, or hooking up in college. But I wanted to have those cliche experiences. Instead I just let my anxiety control me. I stay in my comfort zone and now it feels too late to get out. I know I'm still young, but after four years of therapy I don't feel I'm much different.
Sure, my therapist will say I've made dramatic improvements. I moved out of my parents house, I'm on meds, I got convinced to get on dating apps. I have a decent paying job, I'm reliable and always there, no student loan debt, no car debt, I have a 401k, I have friends, I'm smart, friendly, funny, and just in general a good person. But I still have low self-esteem and confidence. I built some up over the first two some years of therapy, I started to think I'd had a chance with women. I mean, I can actually have conversations without making it sexual and I'm respectful.
That's why my therapist was finally able to talk me into using dating apps. After a year I've had zero dates. In real life I still can't approach strangers in general so forget approaching a cute girl and trying to flirt or as her out. Hell, I don't even know where the hell people go to meet people. And now that I'm living on my own I'm lonely all the time. I come home to nobody. I eat dinner alone. I go to bed alone and wake up alone. And what's worse, I'm tired.
Just... tired. I work manual labor so I get home tired. I relax and I'm still tired. I tried exercising, still tired. I'm just tired of being tired. And I don't have the motivation to change anything not that I even know what to do to change. It's like I'm suffocating but I don't know how to get air, and if I did I don't have the energy to get it. I'm so tired I came the closest I'd been to suicide since high school. Probably the only reason I'm still here is I don't want to burden somebody else with the mess. Rope, gun, pills; somebody will find me and somebody will have to clean it up. Train, car, bridge; somebody will be traumatized and have to clean it up. I can't inconvenience somebody like that. I'm not sure if that means I'm thoughtful or so low on myself that I'm not worth the hassle.
So if this is how I feel after years of therapy, how many years until Im good enough to be in a healthy relationship? How will I even handle a relationship? How bad will I be at sex? How off put will women be by a 30+ year old guy who has never been in a relationship, dated, had sex, or even got to first base? How bad will I be living with somebody else? How long until I learn how to date or flirt or kiss? How long until I feel like I can really live?
I'm just torn. I want to live life. But I don't know how. There's things I want to do. But I'm too tired and too caught up in my own thoughts and anxiety.
So I turned to reddit. I met some wonderful people, they told me I'm cute, I'm kind, good at writing and conversing, that I'm a catch. A couple of them even talked about meeting and maybe seeing how we vibe and maybe having sex. Of course then they stop talking suddenly and I'm left to start over again. Finding someone you can just easily track to is so hard. Finding someone to talk to who isn't trying to sell you something is fucking hard and exhausting. And then you find them, put in energy and effort into cultivating that friendship, you see it start to blossom, and then one morning you come out and find out a deer ate the friendship down to the roots overnight. Now all you have left is a pot of dirt with what was something that made you smile. Something you looked forward to seeing.
I'm just tired of being tired. I'm tired of wanting to have a woman want me, desire me, want to hold and comfort me, wanting someone to choose to spend their time with me. I'm tired of wanting to have someone I can spoil, I can put my skills towards making happy, who I can hold and comfort and support. I'm tired of wanting to feel someone's embrace, their head on my chest and their arms around me, a simple kiss, moments of lust and passion, a simple touch on the arm or their fingers weaving with mine. I'm tired of not knowing what I want or what to do or what will make me happy. Im tired of not even being sad, just feeling tired.
I just don't know what to do, what to change, how to change. I wish I could just give up and live alone, happy to play video games and be alone. I always remember a quote from a TV show:
"The universe is a cruel, uncaring void. The key to being happy isn't the search for meaning; it's just to keep yourself busy with unimportant nonsense, and eventually, you'll be dead." - Mr. Peanutbutter

I'm hosting a sub raffle! $100 cash winner
Hi!! I'm a 24 year old chronically ill streamer with kidney failure (not wanting pity just being honest I've been on the transplant list for 3 years and the entire time I've been streaming) and I've been affiliate since August of 2023! I'm really trying to reach my goal of 50 subs this year.. it's small but it's a milestone to me.
So I'm hosting a sub raffle & the proceeds go towards money for my PC! It'll make me have a better gaming experience for my community & a broader variety of games to have access to as well!
1 sub= 1 entry and you get unlimited entries! Once I reach 50 subs I'll go live announce the winner on a wheel 🥹
I'm really trying to set & accomplish goals this year so it would mean the world to me if any of yall came & supported me & youd also be entered in the giveaway and might win the $100!
It's been hard as a small streamer and being sick a lot but I believe in me and I'm always putting out positivity in the universe so I know I'll attract it 💗 A girl can dream right!!! So please help me try to reach my goal of 50 subs, I'll follow you back if you drop your link and support you any way I can! If you can't enter I understand, I appreciate you reading.
Take care and blessings
https://www.twitch.tv/babyphrenzy

Strap in yall it’s a long one! So im a 27 F and my ex is a 29 M. Here’s the full background: We met on tinder and started off as friends, we would hike and gym together for a few months until it turned into something more, then we started dating. We dated for about a year and a half, I ended up breaking up with him. It was a great relationship, But I was going through my own emotions and didn’t know how to handle depression whilst being in a relationship.. so I let him go. I moved away, and started a new career , at the same time he moved away for school. I was gone for about 2 years and then I found out I was pregnant(single mom) I told him about it and I felt like me having a kid completely ruined any chances we would ever have of getting back together. We started sending each other letters and keeping in touch while I was away. I started to fall for him all over again. Months go by and I moved back home when I had my kid, and he was also back in the same area. I thought maybe we could try again. When we met up I fell so hard for him, except I was dumb and told him my feelings .He told me he didn’t feel the same and just wanted to be friends and it really hurt me, so I decided to cease all contact and cut him off. Over the next year I started to date and finally moved on when of course he followed me back on IG but I was in a relationship at that point so he left me alone. A few months later I get a text from a random number saying they ran into my dad, come to find out it’s my Ex. He then starts texting me over a span of a few months..inching his way back in..and at that point he informs me that he’s moving back on my side of town.. across the street from my parents to be exact. He finally one day mentions meeting up to catch up, so I said sure. At this point I’m in an unhappy relationship with my most recent partner and my ex was seeing someone else. We decided to be friends , so we started going to the gym together again, studying, and doing races 🏃‍♀️. We kept it to public places and I made sure not to allow myself to go to his house. Every time we hung out he would ask me about how my relationship is going and fill me in on his. I then ended my most recent relationship, (we still live together so I’m also trying to navigate that) and he started to fill me in on how he feels like he should cut things off with the girl that he’s talking to. So he did that and At this point we are starting to hang out longer and spend more quality time together. On one of our hang outs, we watched some movies and all he did was lay his head on my thigh and I went home at a decent time. Next time, we have a pool day and we were both pretty exhausted and took a nap together.. neither of us could sleep due to the tension and that’s when he kissed me. About 2 weeks later, I was supposed to go out of town but I needed to drop a housewarming gift off to him. He tells me he’s going somewhere at 9pm and could meet me out. Then he calls me and says nvm and that I can just come over and drop it off and we can hang for a bit. I was flying standby on my trip and I realized I was not going to make the flight for the following day. He informs me that he is wanting to go on a hike the following day and that if I’m not going on my trip anymore that I can join. So I said okay..cancelled my booking and we booked an Airbnb. So we had a pretty spontaneous weekend getaway it was honestly quite romantic and that’s when we hooked up.. so now we have finally crossed that line and I have no clue what to do. It was great, I think we really connected again, but I also feel stupid because I feel like I should have waited longer. I want to be with him in the end, he’s always been the one that got away. I’m afraid that if we continue then he won’t want me because he already has it all in a sense. So I’m feeling like I need to distance myself since I can’t really undo my actions, maybe there’s a way I can get it moving in the right direction again. Atleast until I get out of my current situation which will be in about a month. But what do I do now? I’ve been feeling so many emotions ever since then and can’t seem to quiet my mind.
The timelines might be hard to follow but It’s been 5 years since we broke up, 2021 when I moved back home. May 2023 is when he followed me again, and December2023 when he started to text me again. January 2024 I ended my recent relationship and February 2024 when I started to see my ex again.

I completely gave up on dating.
Everyone tells me the right girl will come along when you least expect it. Work on yourself.
Stopped believing in any of this.
Been told I'm trying to hard. Not trying enough.
All crap advice.
Can't take it. I gave up.

Hi!! I'm a 24 year old chronically ill streamer with kidney failure (not wanting pity just being honest I've been on the transplant list for 3 years and the entire time I've been streaming) and I've been affiliate since August of 2023! I'm really trying to reach my goal of 50 subs this year.. it's small but it's a milestone to me.
So I'm hosting a sub raffle & the proceeds go towards money for my PC! It'll make me have a better gaming experience for my community & a broader variety of games to have access to as well!
1 sub= 1 entry and you get unlimited entries! Once I reach 50 subs I'll go live announce the winner on a wheel 🥹
I'm really trying to set & accomplish goals this year so it would mean the world to me if any of yall came & supported me & youd also be entered in the giveaway and might win the $100!
It's been hard as a small streamer and being sick a lot but I believe in me and I'm always putting out positivity in the universe so I know I'll attract it 💗 A girl can dream right!!! So please help me try to reach my goal of 50 subs, I'll follow you back if you drop your link and support you any way I can! If you can't enter I understand, I appreciate you reading.
Take care and blessings
https://www.twitch.tv/babyphrenzy