As the title suggests, i am quite young, not sure i should share my exact age though. I am not trying to brag,
I have always been incredibly smart, and found many gifted classes too easy in my childhood, eventually to the point i viewed them as nothing more than extra work for the same boredom for 40 minutes(this will relate a bit later). And in any classes that weren't specifically for gifted students, i could normally keep my head down the entire lesson with headphones on, and glance over at what we were doing and understand it almost entirely, this kind of talent and ability left me completely without any need to study for the first 10 years of school, and as such, i never learned HOW to properly study, after about 4th grade, i decided to deny teacher requests to move me into gifted classes altogether, because i didnt want the extra homework for in my mind, the same amount of learning. I think this may have impacted me, because i find myself constantly worrying if it would have helped my future if i were to be in these classes.
I studied human behavior and earth science as well as physics from an incredibly young age, if i can remember as young as 5, and have always enjoyed math, i remember being able to do my sister's math homework in my head, which was four grade levels above me, and until incredibly recently, i hadn't learned a single new thing in math, or science classes, since i was in 1st grade.
I've tried to take multiple free IQ tests(dont judge me im broke) and well i know these aren't always accurate in measuring intelligence overall, i maxed out two of them, and got the second highest score possible on the third. Often times i feel like i am some sort of anomaly, and everybody else is an idiot around me, and i know this isnt necessarily true, and each person has their own talents, it seems like i am better than most people at just about everything.
Overall, i know i am smart, and i have always been talented in anything logic, or thinking, and i am confident in my own capabilities, however, i am starting to worry that my lack of development in terms of actual learning skills, may have a devastating effect on my high school career and into college, i am as my name suggests, planning on going into animation despite my zero skills in art, so i dont know how much studying will help in an animation college, but i am incredibly worried for my high school career!
P.S: if this post is weirdly written, or doesn't make sense at some parts, first off sorry for bad punctuation, second off, sorry for the bad writing, i hate going through and polishing text blocks.

I am a project manager in a highly chaotic field. In addition to running my own client projects, I am the team lead and am working towards transitioning to department management/lead. My work duties and random tasks reach outside my department or teammates “typical” tasks - I’m leading a redevelopment of our PM software, I am the go to for teammates project issues, I train, develop process, create data calculators that are used by a dozen +, the list goes on. I’m essentially working within 3 departments under 1 job title.
I feel like I am barely holding on.
Our company went through a rebrand and it’s been…difficult. Many of our tools and documents are now unusable, so I’ve been creating from scratch dozens of things. Because of this, I’m now the “expert” or go to person. I know this time will pass, eventually, but I’m struggling with ways to manage the various workloads, determining what’s highest priority for myself vs what’s highest priority from teammates asks vs what’s highest priority for the “general good”.
Some tasks for the “general good” would remove me from my team’s request, and would help me get back to my standard workload. But these tasks will take hours and hours to finalize and have to be exactly accurate before release, followed by me leading department specific training with concise documentation. I’m slowly rolling these items out, but every time I get into a good flow I’m interrupted by something “absolutely urgent”, last minute meetings, etc etc.
Every day I leave, I don’t know what I got done but I know I worked my butt off and didn’t take a lunch break.
I find that I’m starting to lose tasks or key things, because there is just SO much going on. My only thought is to make a wall of post it notes that are connected to the different categories of work, color coded by urgency. My boss wants me to use our online platform, which she and I are currently rebuilding for use across multiple departments, but I still don’t find the software effective for use. It’s been chosen by people who don’t use it but like how it looks. I used to write my highest priorities on post it’s and order across my desk in importance then toss once done, but I am using way too much of my desk with all the paperwork for this method and much more of my day is now “on the fly”.
I guess I’m kind of losing my mind and am looking for advice. I am a paper person and have so many filled notebooks - I write the days down, the asks, etc. but don’t transfer over items that aren’t accomplished to the next day: I’d be rewriting tasks for two weeks sometimes if I did that, and it would be even more overwhelming. Sometimes I get to work and can’t even touch “my” work for hours, so the prep I did the night before to have a productive morning is now void because it’s already the afternoon.
Other than getting to work hours before it opens, what should I try to do to get on top of this situation?
TLDR; absolute overwhelm, need to create intensive plan of action and/or new organization methods

Wife recently asked me if her young, able, and working entrepreneurial brother can get a hot spot through our phone plan, because his service provider (sp) doesn't provide the coverage he needs for his new roofing business. Apparently he's unwilling to change phone plans because he hasn't paid phone off through his service provider, and want in on the discount we get on top of not having to switch sp.
It struck me as strange because the same dude has recently taken out a loan for a home, a new car, a new van for his side hustle, and new equipment for said side hustle within the last year. If the guy was struggling I wouldn't have hesitated, but he's not, it seems like purely an ask of convenience. Now I understand that this wouldn't impede significantly on our finances, in fact her brother offered to even pay for the hot spot. My thoughts are, it's not that steep of a self investment to either switch service providers and keep things simple, instead of having us take on this silly request.
Wife brought up my family's financial needs, saying that if my grandma needed something we'd help her out, to which my response was that I had, out of my own pocket because my grandma is poor, or closer to poor in a foreign country. Wife's family comes from far more money, and I doubt has ever experienced anything close to true and dire financial need. I was definitely an AH when I called her brother an entitled rich boy in response to this.
Wife claims that I'm being an AH for not wanting to help someone in need, I argue that he is not in need and should make the plunge and just continue to invest in himself. I get Let's keep it simple reddit, am I the AH?

Hello OKOP empire. Thank you for taking time to read this. it will be long but on to my story.
So I'm going to give background of the beginning of my life. It was my determining factor of why I didn't want anything to do with her. Names I use are not their real names.
When I was conceived my Bio mom (we'll call her Sally (17F) ) already had a little girl my bio half sis (call her Chrissy (1F) ) Chrissy would go to our babysitters house ( call her Jenny (34F) ) while Sally went to school. When bio Grandma (Call her Karen, don't know how old she was at that time) found out Sally was Pregnant with me, She was furious, According to my Bio Aunt (Deny (14F) ) Karen almost killed us. Deny said she had to step in and stop Karen from hitting Sally even more after she threw her down the stairs. After her rage subsided she took Sally and Chrissy to an apartment and said you want to be sleuthing around your old enough to live on your own. Sally kept trying to go to school as she dropped off Chrissy at Jenny's, then would go to a job and try to make things work.
Time goes on and I am born, I then started going to Jenny's as well sometimes spending the night with Chrissy as well at times.
Now Jenny was Babysitting in the day, EMT at night and did foster care with her husband Lee (38M). his job was teaching Spanish. Super hero's in my eyes FR.
After that month Jenny said she had not seen me and Chrissy for about 2 weeks. She got a call from social services asking her to go to Sally's apartment to check on her and the children. Jenny wasted no time at all grabbed her bag as her son (Josh (10M) ) asked to go with she said sure.
Jenny went up too the apartment door and knocked, with no answer but as they stood outside she could hear kids crying inside but still no one came to answer the door. She went and got the manager of the apartment complex and asked him to open Sally's door. But she had to call the cops and paramedics to come out before he could open the door. they had to stay outside for about 20 Mins for the emergency services to show. They finally get the door open and see Sally on the couch unresponsive. Jenny went to the bedroom door as one of the police officers had to break it down due to it being locked. I was only around 2 months old and Chrissy at this point was almost two years old and didn't know how to open doors at that time. So Josh went in with Jenny, seeing Chrissy trying to feed me a bottle that was filled with curdled milk. Josh looked at Jenny and said mom she looks dead referencing me. They rushed us to the hospital and found that Sally was alcohol poisoned and I was very dehydrated, underweight, eyes sunken into my sockets. Doctor told Jenny if i were not able to gain weight in 3 days i would be in ICU for failure to thrive ( basically all organs start to shut down and would basically be dying). Chrissy and I were put into Jenny's foster home that night. Jenny took us home and feed me close to 8-8oz bottles. she said it was the most amazing thing as i ate my skin turned back to a pinkish color my eyes came out and my body started filling out, never throwing up a drop.
Time goes on and we were put into the fosteadopt program. Karen wanted Chrissy but did not want me. She ended up taking Chrissy without finalizing papers with the court, taking off to another state.
I was a little over 2 yrs old when Jenny and Lee official adopted me. Now she was my mom and he my dad giving me 5 brothers and 1 sister. Big family I know
I was 6 yrs old when we had ready a weekly reader on adoption in school. A lot of what they were saying in it with how adoptees feel is exactly how I felt, also as my family would be talking about who got what from which parent. I asked who's eyes did I have and my mom would answer you have your mothers eyes. I got very confused about that then we read that weekly reader. So many questions had swirled in my mind. One day as my mom and I are walking into a Wal-Mart crossing the front where the cross walk is as I'm holding her hand, I asked her mom am I adopted? She looked at me with a pause and said well yeah you are in a more concerned voice then any other emotion. I didn't ask anymore questions for a few days, but one night I walked into my parents room and asked why did my family give me up and all my mom said was god meant for us to have you. I then asked if i had any sisters or brothers and she told me about Chrissy. Being so little I couldn't really deal with the thought of someone just threw me away and felt like I did something wrong and that's why my bio family didn't want me.
As I get older with a year or two in between i would keep going to my mom asking more questions. Now you remember my parents also did foster care as well and I would hear and comprehend at around 12 of the children coming to my home for things and they would tell me of there horrifying story of how they ended up in the system. A lot of them were horrible stories and I couldn't understand how a parent do something as bad as they did to their own children.
When I was Fourteen I went to my mom where my brother Josh was talking with her about something and said ok mom I am old enough to know what exactly what happened to me cause I deserve to know my story. I saw my brother and her share this look of like hey its time she should know kinda face. She then proceeded to tell me the whole story minus what i wrote about Karen and Sally bit cause she did not know about that. Deny is the one that filled me in about that. Deny was the one to call in with concerns about us that day my life was saved, to social services.
I spent many days with free time in computer class looking so hard for my half sister after that but since it was still so new at that point I could not find much out about anyone.
More time goes on and I was around 26 yrs old and I do a little google search looking for Sally sue to her being the only way i could possibly find my half sister. I had found a birth certificate that I had a very strong feeling that it was Sally's, A couple months go bye with no other hits and one day i see i have two message requests on FB one from Deny which she began by giving info about me where we lived and just personal info that no one else would of known except for the ones involved. i had another from Chrissy who was saying basically the same thing. I went numb. from the top of my head to the tip of my toes i felt like electricity was vibrating my body. I asked my husband what he thought he said its up to you love what ever you want to do i'm hear for you. so i begin to type and we had gotten to know each other. i went to their state and met them also met Karen. didn't really care for that but was told Sally was telling Chrissy and Deny to find me that was top priority to her for some odd reason. but anyway they asked if i would want to meet her, i answered im not sure im up for that yet.
I get back home after a 2 week visit and I was being asked many times to meet or at least talk with Sally. I finally said no i'd rather not cause i already have a wonderful loving mother and i rather not go down that road with Sally cause i couldn't get over her just leaving. Jenny gave permission for Sally to visit or send me letters as i grew as much as she wanted but she never sent anything or called. my adoption was an open/closed adoption. meaning Sally could contact me anytime and visit me where it was closed for the Bio father who was never in the picture. But Chrissy/Deny and I had a huge fight about it and are no longer in contact. its better cause it was a very toxic family and id rather leave the toxins out of my life.
So guys was I the AH for not wanting to meet/talk to Sally???
​

So the last few years have been rough.
*note* if you're a "cheaters will always be cheaters type" tldr is don't bother reading or commenting
BACKSTORY 2019-2023 child nearly annual broken bones, lots of stress and specialist visits.
2018-2024 my wife got her associates as a medical assistant and is almost done with her bachelor's and final quarter internship while working full time and that has been hard for me. The lack of time for me and my son has really made an impact.
2019 I was injured at work and 2020 had my first surgery to try and preserve an ankle joint. That surgery ended up failing and while recovering I ended up mangling 2 fingertips in a wood jointer. 2020 I had to make the transition to a sahd on workers comp and have been since then. My lifestyle of hiking and fishing was upended because I could barely be on my feet 3 hours a day and uneven ground killed me not to mention the whole covid thing was pretty isolating.
All of 2021 was supporting her being a surrogate for a couple in City X (their egg/sperm). So, lots of trips checks and giving her injections. It was kind of proving myself to her because I was terrified when our son was born in 2017 and didn't help as much as I should have. Especially the first 3 months. Really, I didn't find out until later. We had conversations and fights at the time and id step up to do more and she would agree and tell me it was all okay. Then another fight saying I wasn't doing enough/anything and asking more and me being upset and confused. I guess at the time she was afraid to ask more, or tell me what she wanted, or her feelings, and the postpartum depression and initial feelings of abandonment didn't help.
Anyways the surrogacy went okay. I was there and supportive. Rubbing her feet and back. taking on extra load when she was tired etc. And hey I didn't pass out at delivery this time XD The end was a bit hard with 2 inductions needed and a massive 9.5lb baby and a stuck shoulder.
Then a few weeks after birth in November 2021 the nightmare began.
Out of nowhere she started hemorrhaging. She had to have an emergency D&C to stop the bleeding and scans showed a mass. Turned out the surrogate baby's placenta had some cells turn cancerous and attach to her uterus (Choriocarcinoma). 3 months later and the first 3 agent chemo failed, and her numbers were skyrocketing because it turned treatment resistant. They had to hit it with 5 types of chemo (EMACO) leaving future fertility a coin toss but more than a hysterectomy. By May 2022 the tumor marker was gone, but it was 6 months of intense monitoring and 6 months of monthly monitoring. The whole time she was in an intense spiraling depression questioning life. The meaning of all it, and how all her childhood trauma was fair. That no god would let a child live that. And questioning every decision in her life and wondering what things could have been like if she went a different direction. Feeling like she missed out on opportunities early in life. If this might be all there is (we have been together since she was 17). She said she felt like reality wasn't real and this was make believe at times.
Summer 2022 she made a new mom friend. She was pretty toxic and selfish. She used my wife for personal benefit and to go places. Yelled at her kids and treated the oldest from a prior marriage as less than (girl doesn't know her dad and when she mentioned she was part Mexican she freaked out and denied it because of how conservative and anti Mexican her new dad and his family is). Like never offered a dime, but expected food, gas, tickets, and gifts. She drove my wife nuts with that behavior. but she was desperate for a friend and loved her kids. Her friend would just talk shit about her partner pretty constantly and say my wife should be unhappy in her relationship too. Shit talking husbands behind their backs became like a mutual thing and I def hated it
Sometime 2023 she jumped into fantasy romance and fantasy smut /erotica. This progressed to an AI chat smut generator.
May 2023 monitoring was over and she was officially cancer free and had been on a health/mental health quest..
The mental health part started early in the year and she was seeing a therapist for depression and anxiety alone as well as her long list of childhood trauma. Off hand her therapist told her a few times she didn't know maybe just divorce me or something. I was super uncomfortable with this as it was completely outside her practicing scope and I didn't feel she should be providing relationship guidance, especially without me or the rest of the story. I felt a bit attacked and didn't even get the chance to give my perspective or account and felt that is pretty important after being here for a decade. A lot of negative points get omitted by her.
Summer 2023 she had some tough diagnosis for other chronic issues. Narcolepsy Dissociative Identity disorder Depression And a sleep disorder
I initially rejected this as I didn't want to accept these chronic and incurable conditions and insisted it has to be something else, that she's okay. It was taken as rejection of her.
Fall 2023 she reached out to a childhood ex bf a few states away and started an emotional affair. They kept in infrequent contact over the years and nothing ever came of it before. He has been unable to move past her or have meaningful relationships in 13 years. At first he pushed her away and rejected it, but after a month by Nov it was a thing. Texting saying I shouldn't worried because they dated before, but he ended up coming out as gay, calls in private, staying later after work. I gave it the benefit of the doubt but got burned. I found out in December the second time she wanted a private call in the car, and I checked her phone.
We started marriage counseling in Jan and I started my own therapy search as well as a condition of hers. She agreed to no longer contact the boy showed me the sent message ending it and blocked him. By Feb I found him listed in her phone as Saraa and found deleted texts and calls. In therapy she wanted to keep him as a friend and only friend and I tried this. She asked if a PO box would be okay for a birthday present, and I said no. That it crossed a line. It was also super close to Valentine's day. Next therapy I couldn't handle the anxiety and feeling physically ill when she used her phone, and we went through Jan again break off block etc.
In Feb the therapist recommended a separate space for conflict as we work on things. That too much conflict triggered her dissociative identity disorder. It was either a hotel as needed or a rv/camper. My wife was set on a camper and the only way to get a newer one was to add my credit/income to hers for a loan and I was uncomfortable on a $20k purchase. She assured me the intent of the camper was working on us and not separating/divorcing. She brought up me not having chores completely done all the time and I poured myself into it if that was making her unhappy over the years.
During this time in March I found out she got the secret PO box and had yet again resumed texting entirely deleting her logs. She had valentines gifts. birthday gifts, long distance electronic bracelets, and had an easter basket coming. Everything was put together into a box to be gotten rid of. That effort I had for chores and making everything spotless kind of died. Like there was that recognition that that obviously wasn't the problem. We lived completely separately for a few weeks until she could make a choice. We split our son and had almost zero interaction. Eventually she chose and I saw a notebook she used once in December. Basically she has started outlining a story envisioning herself as the lead character in once of her romantic fantasies and cast me and the other man as competing love interests
April and early may there was nothing. We did therapy and tackled our issues slowly. Together. Our future plans: college vs baby and the ticking clock of fertility and ifs after chemo. Etc
Last week she was going out for lilac picking and didn't text me for 2 hours and said she was at the beach. Later she showed me something in her email and I saw discord emails about a pw change and login. One bad gut feeling later and the next morning I see she deleted the discord emails and check our phone plan and her phone and see missing texts. I put in a phone record request for recent texts and text/call logs. She woke up and I said it did it and she said I was disgusting. Then admitted I was right.
She says after breaking it off she was worried he would hurt himself and just wanted to be sure he was okay and admitted to 3 texts and the discord call which i verified. Said that he was in therapy for his issues. She said she didn't want to bring it up to me because I would make it a fight and she thought she could just get away with a few texts to make sure. That she felt responsible for how much he had been hurt too.
So I did what I do with extreme anxiety and checked her work bag. I found an old journal they shared Jan to mid-march. Kind of confirmed again what was going on. Also revealed she lied to me about the trailer, or him? She couldn't get it without me and told him it was to work on separating from me easier. Yeah I kept pics in case this goes downhill because yeah, I'll gun for EVERYTHING. I'm sure that being tricked into signing a $20k contract under false pretenses for her personal benefit, secret po boxes, lying to our therapist repeatedly, secret texts, expecting gifts from the other man, career over spending time with family and a serious personality disorder on top of narcolepsy making a job hard to keep down wont do her favors at divorce/custody hearings.
So its all fresh for me again. I already have extreme anxiety and the autism doesn't help with reading/understanding people the best, although my gut intuition and pattern recognition are catching stuff fine.
WHERE I THINK I AM
Looking back, I can see that the personality disorder and narcolepsy are apparent. Dream delusion and memory issues from the narcolepsy make separating dream from reality hard as well as just recalling what happened. So whether not the "not feeling like reality is real" was a dream delusion or a full-blown dissociative episode... I can also see that messaging him was a "new" personality state. Maybe it's a manifestation of the trauma of nearly dying from cancer, maybe it's a fragment of her young identity that was created to survive her traumatic childhood resurfacing after nearly dying. But her interests and perspective massively shifted at that time and there was a clear separation between her with me and her with him. It was like this regression back to 15. Like she was molding an identity to fit his desires and interests. She took up tarot and witchy books, different music, painting, rockhounding (my interest), dried bouquets, dyed her hair and got multiple piercings. Even getting caught there was that click in her whole demeanor.
I can see how her friend may have jaded her towards me by all the shit she talked about HER husband. I can see that throwing herself into fantasy smut to cope flooded her with portrayals of unrealistic romance. That she progressed that by using an AI smut bot to hold those conversations with. Then she directly tried to process her own reality through the lens of those novels in that journal.
This "relationship" was "I love you, we can be together in 10 years". He wasn't going to leave his cushy job. Or his state. He didn't want to be a stepdad. He didn't want to support her career or have any involvement in it. She couldn't leave my state. Never saw illicit photos. No discussion of sex. It was like exactly what you think some lovestruck preteens would come up with. Like just a fantasy. No talk of bills or finances. Of moving. Of any substantial tangible entanglement.
Somehow that's easier to handle
I love her and don't want to leave her. But i desperately think she needs serious help and have told her I want her to do therapy 2x a month (on top of marriage therapy 2x).
I also think if a secret or deleted text happens again, I've got to take off the kid gloves and fight for it all. Cause well showing up at the dude's door would end in prison.
I'm sure this happening right as I fully got over last time and took a trust leap of faith on a "gay" friend that burned me will make it harder. I get the last few years have been garbage luck and I get almost dying can have profound affects though. She had been utterly loyal for 5 years (believe me I checked as we agreed to ie open book). Tying to see this with an open mind.
I get my exact expectations are muddy and part of this is just putting it into words to process for me, but I value if someone has any good input

Hello again everybody!
Before we get started on today's post the current voting for Toxtricity/Dynamax Toxtricity had a surge of votes for A tier come in that has almost caught up to the number of Abstaining votes, so there is still a chance we end up Tiering the Punk Rock poison lizard off of the vote but at the moment it's most likely that it will go back on to the radar list for a future vote. There is still plenty of voting time however so if you haven't voted on that one yet click the link below and scroll down to the comments to find a link to the post or sort the SubReddit by the "Tiering/Voting" tag to find it and cast your vote!
Like with all previous votes I'll continue to check the numbers and if anything changes I'll update it on tomorrow's post.
(Please note that this voting/tiering is centered around Classic as after a certain point in Endless only about 5 Pokemon and 2 abilities are truly viable.)
So current tiers are:
S tier - Garganacl, Cloyster, Skeledirge, Gholdengo, Tinkaton
A tier - Gyarados/Mega, VenusauMega/Dyna, Aegislash, Corviknight/Dyna, Excadrill, GardevoiMega, Toxapex, ScizoMega
B tier - Kanto-Persian/Dynamax Kanto-Meowth, Weavile, Starmie, Rhyperior, Quagsire, Mamoswine
C tier - Linoone
F tier - Dustox
With that being said let's get to today's vote!
Today is day 28 of tier voting and today we will be talking about the OG Ghost Pokemon from all the way back in the first generation that has long been a fan-favorite and competitive staple. Gengar has a typing that was unique to its evolutionary line all the way until the generation 9 DLC added the mythical Pecharunt with the same type combination. On top of that its base form has a really good Special Attack stat and a very good Speed stat to go with it despite being pretty frail defensively. Its Mega form boosts that Special Attack and Speed to ridiculous heights and even gives it a little more bulk to work with as well. On the flip side, this game gives its Dynamax form a little different stat spread which trades off some of its Speed to give it some surprisingly solid bulk on a Pokemon which hasn't been known for its survivability historically. Gengar has a good movepool with good coverage even before this game gives it even more options to choose from in the form of egg moves. Although its Passive Ability isn't the greatest (mostly since it doesn't work on Boss Pokemon, however it does synergize with Mega Gengar's ability well) with those stats and movepool it really doesn't need its Passive to still be strong.
(Please note that Pokemon with Mega/Dynamax evolutions will be tiered as one Pokemon and not tiered separately for their Mega/Dynamax form. Different variants such as Alolan Persian vs. Kanto Persian will be tiered separately however.)
(Also here is the post with rules for voting/tiering posts and a little more explanation about them in general: https://www.reddit.com/pokerogue/s/0LNZhPPzR9 Links to past votes can all be found here as well in comments added to the OP with each new vote)
And here is a quick reminder of what each tier generally means:
S tier: Top tier, can make or break your entire run, essentially the cream of the crop
A tier: really strong but not quite top tier, maybe slightly outclassed or has a slight weakness holding it back
B tier: solid choices that can make it to your endgame team, might be reliant on team composition to truly function well or might just be outclassed as well
C tier: usually early-mid game Mons, ones you don't really want to take to end game if you can avoid it, usually pretty decently glaring weakness but something redeeming enough to keep from F tier
F tier: no reason to use in end game unless you're doing it for a meme/joke
Abstain/No Opinion: this will be a voting option mostly just in case someone accidentally votes and then can't remove their vote (I've noticed that happens on Reddit sometimes) or for Pokemon people haven't unlocked/used to their full potential yet. If Abstaining votes outvote each individual tier then the Pokemon will be tabled for the time being and another vote will open up for it later (can mostly see this happening with Legendaries).
(Data in parentheses is for the Mega form) [Data in brackets is for the Dynamax form)
*
Gengar (Mega) [Dynamax]
Type: Ghost/Poison
Mega: Yes
Dynamax: Yes
Starter cost {Gastly}: 3
Possible Egg moves: Aura Sphere, Nasty Plot, Frost Breath, Malignant Chain
Abilities: Cursed Body (Shadow Tag) [Cursed Body]
Hidden Ability: N/A
Passive Ability: Perish Body - when this Pokemon is hit with a contact attack it applies Perish Song to both it and the attacker (Perish Song causes both Pokemon to faint in 3 turns unless they switch out)
Evolution: Gastly evolves into Haunter at level 25. Haunter evolves into Gengar with a Linking Cord. Gengar can Mega Evolve with Mega Bracelet and Gengarite. Gengar can also Dynamax with Dynamax Bracelet and Max Mushrooms.
Base stats:
HP - 60 (60) [75]
Attack - 65 (65) [95]
Defense - 60 (80) [85]
Sp. Attack - 130 (170) [160]
Sp. Defense - 75 (95) [95]
Speed - 110 (130) [90]
Learnset by level up: Confuse Ray, Hypnosis, Lick, Mean Look, Perish Song, Reflect Type, Shadow Punch, Payback, Spite, Curse, Hex, Night Shade, Sucker Punch, Dark Pulse, Shadow Ball, Destiny Bond, Dream Eater
Notable TMs: Protect, Clear Smog, Toxic, Haze, Disable, Acid Spray, Thief, Icy Wind, Venoshock, Sunny Day, Rain Dance, Fire Punch, Ice Punch, Thunder Punch, Shadow Claw, Foul Play, Body Slam, Drain Punch, Rest, Sleep Talk, Dazzling Gleam, Thunder Wave, Poison Jab, Toxic Spikes, Gunk Shot, Will-O-Wisp, Giga Drain, Energy Ball, Psychic, Thunderbolt, Nasty Plot, Sludge Bomb, Focus Blast, Phantom Force, Thunder, Poltergeist, Encore, Sludge Wave
*
Tomorrow's vote: Whimsicott!
Pokemon on the radar for voting very soon: Aggron/Mega, Comfey, Crobat, Ferrothorn, Gliscor, Delphox, Roserade, Vileplume, Minior, Hitmonchan, Bibarel, Chandelure, Archaludon/Dynamax Duraludon, Alakazam/Mega, Infernape, Flamigo, Volcarona, Alolan-Decidueye, Barbaracle, Butterfree/Dyna, Beedrill/Mega, Mawile/Mega, Drednaw/Dyna, Annihilape, Cramorant, Aerodactyl/Mega, Glimmora, Heatran, Tapu Koko, Dialga/Primal, Galarian-Zapdos, Regieleki, Regidrago, Zacian, Zamazenta, Rayquaza/Mega, Latias/Mega, Latios/Mega, Ho-Oh, Volcanion, Carbink, Porygon-Z, Cinccino, Snorlax/Dyna, Wishiwashi
(Other requests will be added to this list and this list is not necessarily in order)
Happy voting!
View Poll

Hi I'm 20F and this happened around 3 years ago. For proper context I will be explaining about my "friends" first. I'm sorry that this is a very longgghg one but I needed to get it out of my chest. Also forgive me for any grammatical mistakes as English is not my first language. I'll start with my 6 year long ex bestie Bee, in short she was a huge pick me. Since the beginning she used to insult me infront of boys to make herself look good. I didn't really realise it back then because I thought that's what friends do. She literally used to drag me around a bunch of boys and would call me fat, crooked legged and eagle nosed. Even my mom and my brother kept asking me to break the friendship but I was too afraid thinking I'll be alone. I always had her back though, she used to come to me crying if she's facing any issues in her life and I was there for her. I started my college around COVID time so the friends I made were through online meetings. Once we all met, we hit it off. It was really great!. My best friend in college was a guy named Shawn. We were really close and one day he came up to me and said "I like someone", me being me started investing who it could be. Then a girl named Penny from our friend group told me that Shawn had told her "someone likes you". I was like YESS I found it! And I did my part and now they are a couple. I was soo happy. After a month or so he came to me and said he wants to break up cuz she's too controlling and jealous and I took her side because I kinda understood her since he was still talking to his ex. It became too frequent though and I just told him do as you please. And one more important thing is her family is extremely strict like she can't even talk to a guy. So in college I used to sit in between them like they asked me to do that teachers don't doubt anything and complain to her parents. But the issue was I had to be around them the entire day and be ignored by them. I didn't mind at first but it got frustrating as time passed. I would try talking to them and they would just ignore me but they didn't want me to sit away from them either. The moment we walked out of college they would walk away from me leaving me alone. Next Anne and Chris. Mann are they messy. Anne had lots of boyfriends but we did not know it back then when we used to talk to her. Chris is a senior who proposed to Anne and she accepted it. One day a random guy texted me and asked me Anne's contact details and I refused to give it. He then sent me the photos of her kissing another guy. I blocked him and texted Anne about this and she accepted she was cheating on Chris. But Chris, Penny, Shawn and me were really close at this point. I told Chris about this and he confronted her, he said when she went to visit her hometown, she asked for a break and that's when the cheating happened and when she came back to City she dumped that guy from village and got back with Chris. Guess what, Anne went to Village again and she ghosted Chris. Chris started texting my then bestie Bee. I told both of them not to grow feelings towards eachother or to talk that much because I knew Chris only wanted to get back at Anne and whereas Bee would use Chris as timepass. I mean yeah it's their life but only I knew this about both of them. They were acting serious and both of them were my friends, i couldn't let them do this to eachother. Well they ignored me. They did complain about eachother a lottttt though and I gave the same advice to stop talking so much. Anne returned from her village and she got to know Chris is talking to Bee. She simply asked him to stop talking to Bee and he DID. He told Bee he doesn't want to talk to her and he texted me "I got my everything (Anne) so I don't need Bee anymore" Bee felt bad and I told her well atleast don't repeat it again because I know he will text you again and Anne will cheat on him again. In between all of this drama I met my boyfriend through a online game. I used to talk to him whenever Shawn and Penny were ignoring me and I stopped caring about them. And yes I had told them I felt very bad many times that they ignore me and for like 2 days when I was around them Penny would say "oh we should talk to her or she will feel bad" and then talk to me. It was embarrassing really. In short my boyfriend is a great guy who moved to my city. Mind you he was just 17 when he moved. He convinced his parents he needed to study in my City for ME. He made me realise how much more i deserved so I just stopped being bothered by my friends. I introduced all of them to eachother so they used to hang out without me as well. Penny asked Shawn to not to talk to me. Chris and Bee started talking again and Anne left Chris again. But both of them would constantly complain about eachother about how much they hate eachother. Another thing about Bee is the guys she was dating were usually my friends. Like I would introduce my friends to her and she would go snatch the boys up and would ask them not to talk to me. I didn't care because I wasn't attracted to those guys anyway. Once I told about my crush and she literally asked me "ask him to follow me hehe". I was like wtf no I can't ask him to do that. She followed him. He asked me "why is your friend following me and sent a message request" I told him the truth cuz I was just fed up with her. He blocked her lol. He told me not to have friends like her. Anyway she started texting my boyfriend as well. She used to say "when you come to City let's go out to eat, buy me that, buy me this blah blah blah". Little did she know I had his account and I knew she wasn't "busy" so she couldn't reply to me. She needed 2k because she borrowed it from her mom to give a random guy lol. He never returned it but she was crying so I asked my bf to lend her 1k for now. He told her "return to my gf in cash since my mom can see my transactions". She ghosted me after he gave her the money. I confronted Shawn and Penny. I told them I don't want to be their friend anymore because I was there for them always and whenever I texted them they would straight up ignore me. There were some rough words. I told Bee about this and I cried because I did share good moments with them. I also told her they are planning an outing for which they will invite Bee just to spite me and told her I'll feel very bad if u go. She went :). I just asked her to return the money asap and wanted to end it all. The thing is they hated eachother so why go and meet them when I am the one who is helping you when you are in need? Not just the money, I was standing up for her in so many occasions.
She said she can send the money online because she knew I can't say ok to that. I asked her cash she ignored me. I kept asking her decently. I got fed up and texted her mom asking the money and then Bee replied saying "don't act so cheap and text my mom" I'm like huh? If I'm cheap then what are you for taking the money and ghosting me? I told her I'm just asking what u owe me so give it. She said ik y you are asking, it's because I went out with them right, i didn't even know u would feel bad. I told her consider the money as charity and get lost. Blocked. Whereas Chris talked shit about my friend group so I fought with him and he said "you are a b'tch and you don't deserve anything". This happened before I broke friendship with Shawn and Penny and they never stood up for me. Shawn and Penny were beside me standing and seeing me arguing with Chris and said nothing. While the only reason I fought was for them. Funny because what happened later proved who deserves what. My boyfriend moved to City (nobody believed he would come). I topped my last 3 semesters(I was tutoring them during exams and wasted my time before. Now both of them were scoring Avg marks and Penny even cried in class after seeing her marks and mine). I got placed in a huge MNC Company (Chris being my senior was working as a janitor in a clinic, not to shame but just saying). Shawn and Penny apologised to me later on for talking to Bee after we broke out friendship because they realised the kind of person she is. Shawn also mentioned that she had asked him for money but he said no even though he had it lol. Chris and Bee were in a short toxic relationship until he dumped her again for Anne. Bee is also now with no real friends or no real boyfriend and was seeing hanging out with her sister on her bday(I used to take her to Cafes). I would have been with them if I hadn't met my Boyfriend. I don't regret the friendship because I did my part as much as I could. So AITA?

Hi I'm 20F and this happened around 3 years ago. For proper context I will be explaining about my "friends" first. I'm sorry that this is a very longgghg one but I needed to get it out of my chest. Also forgive me for any grammatical mistakes as English is not my first language. I'll start with my 6 year long ex bestie Bee, in short she was a huge pick me. Since the beginning she used to insult me infront of boys to make herself look good. I didn't really realise it back then because I thought that's what friends do. She literally used to drag me around a bunch of boys and would call me fat, crooked legged and eagle nosed. Even my mom and my brother kept asking me to break the friendship but I was too afraid thinking I'll be alone. I always had her back though, she used to come to me crying if she's facing any issues in her life and I was there for her. I started my college around COVID time so the friends I made were through online meetings. Once we all met, we hit it off. It was really great!. My best friend in college was a guy named Shawn. We were really close and one day he came up to me and said "I like someone", me being me started investing who it could be. Then a girl named Penny from our friend group told me that Shawn had told her "someone likes you". I was like YESS I found it! And I did my part and now they are a couple. I was soo happy. After a month or so he came to me and said he wants to break up cuz she's too controlling and jealous and I took her side because I kinda understood her since he was still talking to his ex. It became too frequent though and I just told him do as you please. And one more important thing is her family is extremely strict like she can't even talk to a guy. So in college I used to sit in between them like they asked me to do that teachers don't doubt anything and complain to her parents. But the issue was I had to be around them the entire day and be ignored by them. I didn't mind at first but it got frustrating as time passed. I would try talking to them and they would just ignore me but they didn't want me to sit away from them either. The moment we walked out of college they would walk away from me leaving me alone. Next Anne and Chris. Mann are they messy. Anne had lots of boyfriends but we did not know it back then when we used to talk to her. Chris is a senior who proposed to Anne and she accepted it. One day a random guy texted me and asked me Anne's contact details and I refused to give it. He then sent me the photos of her kissing another guy. I blocked him and texted Anne about this and she accepted she was cheating on Chris. But Chris, Penny, Shawn and me were really close at this point. I told Chris about this and he confronted her, he said when she went to visit her hometown, she asked for a break and that's when the cheating happened and when she came back to City she dumped that guy from village and got back with Chris. Guess what, Anne went to Village again and she ghosted Chris. Chris started texting my then bestie Bee. I told both of them not to grow feelings towards eachother or to talk that much because I knew Chris only wanted to get back at Anne and whereas Bee would use Chris as timepass. I mean yeah it's their life but only I knew this about both of them. They were acting serious and both of them were my friends, i couldn't let them do this to eachother. Well they ignored me. They did complain about eachother a lottttt though and I gave the same advice to stop talking so much. Anne returned from her village and she got to know Chris is talking to Bee. She simply asked him to stop talking to Bee and he DID. He told Bee he doesn't want to talk to her and he texted me "I got my everything (Anne) so I don't need Bee anymore" Bee felt bad and I told her well atleast don't repeat it again because I know he will text you again and Anne will cheat on him again. In between all of this drama I met my boyfriend through a online game. I used to talk to him whenever Shawn and Penny were ignoring me and I stopped caring about them. And yes I had told them I felt very bad many times that they ignore me and for like 2 days when I was around them Penny would say "oh we should talk to her or she will feel bad" and then talk to me. It was embarrassing really. In short my boyfriend is a great guy who moved to my city. Mind you he was just 17 when he moved. He convinced his parents he needed to study in my City for ME. He made me realise how much more i deserved so I just stopped being bothered by my friends. I introduced all of them to eachother so they used to hang out without me as well. Penny asked Shawn to not to talk to me. Chris and Bee started talking again and Anne left Chris again. But both of them would constantly complain about eachother about how much they hate eachother. Another thing about Bee is the guys she was dating were usually my friends. Like I would introduce my friends to her and she would go snatch the boys up and would ask them not to talk to me. I didn't care because I wasn't attracted to those guys anyway. Once I told about my crush and she literally asked me "ask him to follow me hehe". I was like wtf no I can't ask him to do that. She followed him. He asked me "why is your friend following me and sent a message request" I told him the truth cuz I was just fed up with her. He blocked her lol. He told me not to have friends like her. Anyway she started texting my boyfriend as well. She used to say "when you come to City let's go out to eat, buy me that, buy me this blah blah blah". Little did she know I had his account and I knew she wasn't "busy" so she couldn't reply to me. She needed 2k because she borrowed it from her mom to give a random guy lol. He never returned it but she was crying so I asked my bf to lend her 1k for now. He told her "return to my gf in cash since my mom can see my transactions". She ghosted me after he gave her the money. I confronted Shawn and Penny. I told them I don't want to be their friend anymore because I was there for them always and whenever I texted them they would straight up ignore me. There were some rough words. I told Bee about this and I cried because I did share good moments with them. I also told her they are planning an outing for which they will invite Bee just to spite me and told her I'll feel very bad if u go. She went :). I just asked her to return the money asap and wanted to end it all. The thing is they hated eachother so why go and meet them when I am the one who is helping you when you are in need? Not just the money, I was standing up for her in so many occasions.
She said she can send the money online because she knew I can't say ok to that. I asked her cash she ignored me. I kept asking her decently. I got fed up and texted her mom asking the money and then Bee replied saying "don't act so cheap and text my mom" I'm like huh? If I'm cheap then what are you for taking the money and ghosting me? I told her I'm just asking what u owe me so give it. She said ik y you are asking, it's because I went out with them right, i didn't even know u would feel bad. I told her consider the money as charity and get lost. Blocked. Whereas Chris talked shit about my friend group so I fought with him and he said "you are a b'tch and you don't deserve anything". This happened before I broke friendship with Shawn and Penny and they never stood up for me. Shawn and Penny were beside me standing and seeing me arguing with Chris and said nothing. While the only reason I fought was for them. Funny because what happened later proved who deserves what. My boyfriend moved to City (nobody believed he would come). I topped my last 3 semesters(I was tutoring them during exams and wasted my time before. Now both of them were scoring Avg marks and Penny even cried in class after seeing her marks and mine). I got placed in a huge MNC Company (Chris being my senior was working as a janitor in a clinic, not to shame but just saying). Shawn and Penny apologised to me later on for talking to Bee after we broke out friendship because they realised the kind of person she is. Shawn also mentioned that she had asked him for money but he said no even though he had it lol. Chris and Bee were in a short toxic relationship until he dumped her again for Anne. Bee is also now with no real friends or no real boyfriend and was seeing hanging out with her sister on her bday(I used to take her to Cafes). I would have been with them if I hadn't met my Boyfriend. I don't regret the friendship because I did my part as much as I could. So AITA?

Hi Guys, I have always had the dream of buying a High End Gaming PC since my childhood. I never had a PC since my 10th standard, and even back then it was a wooden PC. I have worked my ass off, for the last 6 years and patiently saved up 4.2 Lakhs to finally make it happen.
However, as I have never bought a Gaming PC before, I have no clue where to start. Having been lurked this subreddit from time to time for a while, I decided it's best to ask the community for help. Therefore, I will request all the IT experts, fellow gamers and anyone with adequate knowledge here on this subreddit, to help me out as much as possible.
I plan to use this PC mostly for Gaming, AI and Development and I want to buy the parts such that the whole setup lasts at least 7 - 10 years barring accidents or unfortunate events.
What will you be doing with this PC?
Gaming, Single / Multiplayer AAA Games at best resolution, learning AI, building Virtual Machines, Coding and Streaming.
What is your maximum budget?
4.2 Lakhs. Willing to go 4.5 Lakhs if the accessories are worth it. If I can do this in 3 - 3.5 Lakhs, its even better (Not counting the price for Gaming Chair and Table). Suggest me future upgrades too.
What, exactly, do you need included in the budget?
Full Gaming PC Setup (Includes UPS, Power Supply, Cooling Mechanisms, Motherboard, Keyboard, Mouse and all other hardware as well as software components to have the full setup ready), Speakers, Gaming Chair and Table.
Which state/city will you be purchasing the parts in?
I am currently posted at Bhubaneswar, Odisha and will be staying here for at least 2 years. Buying Online seems like the only choice here, but I don't want to get faulty parts or get scammed in any way. Please suggest me some trusted sites to purchase all the parts.
Will you be overclocking?
No, I don't understand it fully, but I don't want to overclock the PC as it might reduce the PC life.
Are there any specific features or items you want/need in the build?
Minimum tech specs requirement: 2 TB SSD, 16 GB VRAM, 64 GB RAM, i7 Processor, Cooling accessories (not fully aware of these but liquid cooling as I heard that's the best? Not sure, please recommend!), 4 USB-A ports, 1 USB-C Port, Bluetooth, Wi-Fi Support, HDMI, Audio Jack, Speakers and SD Card Reader. Please let me know what other slots might be useful to have, as I am sure I might have forgotten something.
Do you have any specific case preferences?
Not in Particular, I don't really like fancy showcases so I don't care if there is RGB or made out of Glass. I just want everything to be durable and the temperatures to be under sustainable levels at all times. If Coolers are necessary, then so be it, I will prefer them over Software and other upgrades.
Like I have mentioned this earlier, I want this build to last me a long time, hence my reason for dishing out so much into it.
I will be using it for up to 12 - 16 Hours everyday, so please, suggest me proper accessories to consider.
Also, if the build crosses the budget, I would still appreciate any inputs for future upgrades to this build, as I can purchase them later down the line.
Do you need a copy of Windows included in the budget?
Yes. I want Windows 11, Office 365, WinZip and PDF readers at the very least as will also be used for work. Other software are welcome, I will eventually upgrade them, when i have more cash flow.
I want to thank all of you in advance. I will be checking up the post from time to time and shoot questions when confused.
I will also keep you updated on my purchase and will post a Setup Showcase, once everything is in place.
Cheers. Hope you all have a great day ahead.

Engaged 8 years- with him for 10 years this August. Long story short - it’s not good. Hasnt been for over 7 years tbh. I know ya’ll know what that means basically. We are both 49. Both never been married before our engagement 8 years ago. No kids. I am downright trauma bonded I finally see for the last 8 yrs tho. Sure there’s polite talk, literally that’s all it is. Polite talk until I “freak out and get emotional” by asking if we can have a date night or take a walk together. Because he is sooooo far away from me today and all I’ve been doing is questioning myself, trying to be prettier, trying to cook more, trying to not show hurt feelings when he’s dismissive or worholding….. It’s apparent to anyone in the room and I’ve had feedback from concerned friends over the years. Basically my friends arent fans - haven’t been for years.
Ok sorry- usual daily- he comes home from work. Says hi. I say hi. He shows enormous amounts of love to the dog then goes to his computer to social media surf. I make dinner he eats it and goes to bed. Thats our interaction every day unless I’m working. I’m an semi successful artist. (I pay my own bills, rent and run my own art studio, make enough to survive as I try to grow but def couldn’t do it without a supportive partner. Which he was supportive in our 2 year together. He knew I owned my own townhouse then, and bartended twice a week to make whatever ends my art didn’t meet at the time. I was pretty well known in our little downtown from bartending and having my art in neighboring restaurant in the community. We reconnected through fb messenger- he tagged me in a lot of bartending themed posts- we dated and a year later he sold his condo and moved into my townhouse. I was ready for my life long partner. After a year of co living, he proposed - we made plans to get a larger home together so I sold my townhouse, put 15k downpayment on it because I had the recent liquid cash and he didn’t- he just had the good salaried job to get approved for financing. fast forward to today- I am on the deed not on the mortgage. I pay cash to my “fiancè” every month to contribute this house we own together. After a year of giving him straight cash every month at his request, I asked if he would just give me some or all utilities so my name would be back out in the credit space. And he said no. I asked if we could get a joint account so I could put that monthly cash money in a “house” account where we would both contribute and pay house stuff from that. He said “sure, but not right this second”. That was always his answer to me - “Not right this second”. Basically I went from having my own place, utilities, mortgage, credit, etc and being madly in love with this guy (who I’ve known since highschool but we never dated, just always shared mutual crossovers/crossed paths a lot since 1995) to living in a house that only had my name on the deed. I worried I was a ghost in the credit space. Like the only thing he allowed me to put my name on was the trash pickup service. (He said he’d rather not get trash service and use his jobs trashbin… like wtf?). But said of if I wanted to get trash service then I could pay for that. Ahhh usual me- not a short story and I’m rambling. I’ve also had drinks. Just trying to give context. Ok- We never go out together. He goes to his BF music studio most weekends and stays til 3-4am. We haven’t had sex in over two years. I sleep in the guest room for the same amount of time. (I went there one night after a fight because he said he was tired of being my crutch and I need to contribute more financially and it literally came after him being silent/bad mood for a week and I would ask “Hey, did you have a bad day at work? What’s wrong how can I help?” He doesn’t talk to me about “feelings”. Anytime I ask to sit down and talk about how to fix whatever is wrong his response is ALWAYS and defensive curtness “I don’t want to talk about it”. So we just had one of these outbursts. Where I say “hey, what’s going on. Why are you being so curt with me? Talk to me” and he said “ya know what’s wrong with me? You owe my $1100 because you haven’t paid xyz and it stems back to August. “ I was floored because it’s just not true. But I give him cash and I guess that’s where I fucked up. Sometimes I get paid in cash for my paintings and when I do, I put it aside and give him that cash when it comes due every month. Anyway it blew up to me crying being confused and asking him why he didn’t say anything in August or September why is he bringing it up now. Why is he talking to me like a dog and to please stop and just talk to me about why he’s so damn angry. It ended up with him telling me he’s tired of being my crutch and we haven’t been “good for 5 years” and he wants to sell the house, get his money and live the life that he wants. And I pointed out that all I’ve been doing is trying to fight for us, trying to get us to be together and be number one for one another. And why if he knew all this and yet was still unsatisfied with me why he has kept me around for so long without communicating his displeasure with me. And he said - “Because you won’t leave”. It ended with me saying we can get a mediator or lawyer and figure out the easiest way to sell, split whatever we agree on and move on. Ot all just hit me that I need to let him sell this house and I will figure it out. This all happened Saturday. Jesus this sucks. Anyway- it blew up to where I said I’m done. I felt done. He clapped. I went to my room and have basically been avoiding being in the house when he’s here and just going to my studio until he goes to bed. Thing is he took off work today. Dont know why. So when I got up and saw his car out front, I went to the studio all day and worked late on purpose. Came home at 10:30pm- he usually goes to bed around 9:30 but was still in living room watching tv. I walked in and went to the kitchen and he instantly said “I’m going to bed you can have the tv” and I didn’t respond. He went to bed. I was getting iced tea out of the fridge when after standing there for a min- I smelled gas. I look over to the stove and the knob is turned slightly to the left as if you were about to ignite it. I instinctively turned it back to the off position but then kinda freaked out a bit. Like why does it smell like gas. And why was that knob turned. Literally the gas was seeping ever so slightly out enough for me to smell it after about 30sec drinking my tea. Am I just being paranoid? There is no evidence of cooking - I even checked the trash for leftover or scrapings of food. This took me forever to write. But I just felt I had to document this without freaking out my mom or my friends.

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/Nocontact4you
None of my family knows this trip will be the last time they see me.
Originally posted to TrueOffMyChest & Poems
Thanks to u/lolfuckno for suggesting this BoRU
TRIGGER WARNING: Infidelity, cancer, ableism, bullying, abandonment, emotional abuse of a child, verbal abuse, neglect, lies, mentions of miscarriage
MOOD SPOILER: Depressing
Original Post Feb 4, 2024
Firstly, I’m okay, physically anyway.
Honestly, I have no idea who this is for, but I think I just need it out of my head.
The circumstances of my birth were complicated. I broke up two marriages, and my family has never been shy about how they feel about me for that. Only one of my brothers has gotten drunk enough to tell me to my face that he resents me for existing, but I know it exists within all of them, at least in some way. Im much younger than all my siblings, and there was so much that happened out of our hands that I made excuses, but my whole life, I’ve never quite felt “part of the family”.
As a child, I told myself we’d make up for lost time once I got older and we could talk as equals. Now, at 23, I see glimpses of the life I wished I’d have, but in the end, I’m always too much trouble to involve. I hear EVERYTHING from my father. I had to find out my niece was in a car accident from him; I had to find out my other niece had a miscarriage from him; I had to find out my oldest brother had a BRAIN TUMOR haphazardly on a phone call with my father, which he didn’t even know I was unaware of.
I’ve known for a while I’m the only one trying, but for the sake of my dreams, I’ve given every opportunity for them to let me in, but I just can’t do it anymore.
I have a psychiatric service dog who aids me with CPTSD. He is the single greatest thing to happen to me. Not only did he save my life from myself, but he has made life livable. He can tell when I’m panicking and he knows pressure therapy to help me through an attack. He stops me from hurting myself in meltdowns, sits with me until the only noise I can hear anymore is his snoring on my lap. He allows me to go grocery shopping by myself. He is my soulmate, and anyone who knows me knows how important he is to me.
My dating life isn’t thriving, so I took a shot in the dark and asked my niece if she minded if I brought my service dog as my plus one for her wedding at the end of this month. I have to fly across the country to go, so I will be bringing him anyway since I cannot fly alone. I figured it couldn’t hurt to see if he could not have to stay in the hotel all night. I do not technically need him for the event, since I’ll know every guest and I will be drinking pretty heavily to cope, but getting to spoil him with a bow-tie, dancing, and STEAK, sounded like the perfect reward for helping me on my flight. Several times, I emphasized that I understood it was an odd request and she could say no if she wanted.
She was EMPHATIC that he could come! She said even if I found a date, he could come! I was elated! For once, I felt seen, I felt cared about, I felt valued. And then I got a call from my dad. No one wanted to make things awkward, but the mother of the bride was NOT okay with a dog being at the venue. I explained that he is a trained service animal and will not impede the ceremony in anyway, and I’d of course remove him if he did. Still, he said they didn’t like it. I was so tired of hearing everyone else’s words through my father. He won’t be around forever and sooner or later, they will have to start talking to me
I had one request: let the bride tell me. When I asked her, she said yes, and until she told me she changed her mind, I was under the assumption he could go. Well, I never heard back. My dad kept dropping hints when i’d call him, but I told him what my expectations were. When I RSVP’d, I put my dog as my plus one on the response to let them know I wasn’t backing down this time. At this point, I didn’t even care if she said he couldn’t go. I just wanted to hear it from her.
The next morning, I woke up to an EMAIL from my father. Not even a text, a fucking email explaining that my niece didn’t want to be the bad guy, but my dog was NOT welcome at the wedding. He said he was sorry, but he could still come with me to the hotel if I wanted.
Something inside me broke, I think. I think I realized this is truly a helpless case. They are never going to respect me the way I crave them to. To this day, not one of our conversations has been started by them. I always initiate, and now, the one time I request a direct contact, I get an email.
Family means everything to me. Over the last few years, i’ve redefined what a family can be, and if right now, my family needs to be a very damaged orphan and their service animal, I’m grateful I have that much.
So, I’m going to the wedding, and then I’m never going to talk to any of them again.
And the sad part is, I didn’t even think they’re going to notice.
Update:
First, thank you to everyone for the kind words, and all the advice. It sincerely means so much that so many people care. I want to address all the questions about why I want to go to this wedding at all. There are plenty of practical reasons that I can name, but the truth is, I need to go for my own closure.
I have a strange relationship with death, and loss. My mother died when I was 5; my family split up right after. I’ve lost several caregivers to serious diseases, grieving their death as they lived. I’ve learned how to navigate MY grieving process. If I don’t go to this wedding, I will regret it. Not only is it my last chance to see my childhood family all together in one place, but if I don’t go, I show them they can bully me. I do not want to make a spectical of my trauma with them, but that does not mean I have to walk away with my tail between my knees.
I’m not scared of them. My relationship is non-existent, but I did see my siblings/cousins/neiecesandnephews fairly regularly. When I was a kid, they intimidated and bullied me into silence, but I’m not a child anymore. I lived with these people; I can manage one night, if for no other reason than to prove they cannot control me.
Thanks again for all the kind words. Happy to provide a pupdate if someone can tell me how to post pictures from the app?
RELEVANT COMMENTS
When told not to go to the wedding

I spent $700 on a plane ticket and $200 on a suit. Least I can do is go drink someone else’s liquor and dance my worries away. Besides. It feels like goodbye

&

The cherry on top is they are all very conservative Christians, and I will be going in a suit with my hair dyed green and makeup done to the nines, so this will be my biggest “fuck you, I’m here anyway” I can pull off. Truthfully, my father’s memory is starting to go as he gets older, so even if I did explain my feelings, he will end up sharing anyway, so I’ve made my peace with the fact that it will be a one-way-street because lord knows they’re not gonna ask what I’m up to.

When told to call the bride directly

The last 20 years of trauma will not be solved with one phone call. This was their last chance to prove to me they want me in their lives. It’s not about the dog. It’s the fact that all I asked is to be treated like a person and talked to directly, and they have proven to me they don’t care, so I’m leaving. I already did my job of reaching out to her and she said yes. Why is it my job to reach out and make sure she hasn’t changed her mind?

When told her father is an asshole and he is the one responsible for everything

THANK YOU! I have felt like the only one who cannot fathom how that conversation could be had over EMAIL?? It’s sadly not uncommon for them to communicate through him, and I always have the receipts after the fact when they’re no longer worried about the awkwardness. My brothers don’t even know where I work. I am building a career around my job. They couldn’t tell you what my relationship status is, and I’d be hard pressed to tell you if they knew my middle name to be honest. My father is not innocent, but they are responsible for their part in our relationship. I have stopped reaching out to them directly because I barely hear back, and it’s clear they don’t really care what I’m saying. I could honestly write a book on the road that’s led me to this choice, but who’s got the time in this economy?

Pupdate for Everyone Asking! Feb 6, 2024
He’s a 2.5 year old, Black and Tan Coonhound☺️
Dog tax
Update Feb 26, 2024
Original Story Here:
https://www.reddit.com/TrueOffMyChest/s/2MfJ98m6kP
POST-WEDDING UPDATE!
So, I went to the wedding. It went about how I expected it to go, though one can never be ready for a spontanious conga line. Sadly, there was no secret last minute invite, nor any secret plot of which the bride was unaware. She felt bad saying no, so she lied, and she didn’t want to tell me that, and she still didn’t, even at the wedding. No one really said much at all, in fact. The mother of the bride did not speak to me at all, my brother tiptoed around the subject until the end of the night. To his credit, he did apologize, “for all the dog stuff” as he said goodbye. Strangely, the apology didn’t make me feel much better.
There was no big confrontation either, mainly because no one cared to listen to me if I tried. As the reception began, part of me wondered how much I was going to miss the people, the environment, the vibe, really. Truthfully, I surprised myself with how ready I was to leave. Goodbye was short, and bittwersweet.
The venue was pretty and the alcohol was free, so I made the best of my night, but I got what I needed out of it, I think. Getting home tonight felt like a weight lifting off my shoulders. I know more than ever that I need to do this, and what I once saw as cutting my family in half, I can now see is clearing space for new family, one that cares.
Thank you for all your kind words, and all the support for my dog!
Arrogance is Bliss March 25, 2024
You don’t love me.
You love an idea of me you fabricated in your mind when I was a child.
I’m no longer a child.
I’m far from perfect, but I’m growing, I’m glowing, and I’m grieving the reality that none of you will ever know the person I become.
You call it love, but my scars disagree.
You hate my hair, my style, my beliefs—you hate me.
And the saddest part is, I don’t even think you know you do.
THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP
DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

The rift between them has caused a lot of tension in my family and now my mom wants to be in the life of her newborn grandson but refuses to address or try to mend things with my wife.
Little history: I probably introduced them too quickly. My grandmother was in town in south Florida about to move here from Illinois for a retirement community. My wife, girlfriend at the time, came with cookies or some form of baked goods like she usually does when visiting someone as a sign of affection and respect. Where it went wrong from here I have no idea. I suppose the initial crack was when wife scheduled a skitrip for her and I to have as a 1 year of dating anniversary present. We are not rich, this is a huge gift that made sense to her since I refused to let her pay rent. Our combines salaries are barely over 120k. So wife calls mom 6 months in advance because she is a planner for the sole purpose of asking my mom to watch one of our four dogs. Wife has already paid in full for the trip. Yet Mom decides it is a great idea to instead use the opportunity to hop on and take a family trip because it is the last time the family will have for a family vacation - I am the oldest of two boys and two stepsisters, my mom married the guy she left my father for who has twin girls of his own that were in the womb during the infidelity. Anyway mom completely takes over and decides to make our one year gift a family vacation, so she books tickets for a hotel nearby. Wife is bold but at the time not bold enough to stop my mom in her tracks for overstepping a boundary. At this time she still respected my mother and kind of let herself get steamrolled.
Probably skippable Family history: Now I have always had issues with my mother, resentment for leaving my father for my stepdad behind my own fathers back and constantly trying to keep brother and I from seeing “Disneyland dad who doesn’t do any of the work but gets all the fun.” my mother was very strict growing up, always bringing us to church and making my father feel guilty for not bringing brother and I on his weekend. So mom marries stepdad age 11, divorces him around 13 after asking me advice for her relationship and i encourage her to move out. Then remarries him and moves us back into his house age 15. Here I begin rebellion and normal teeenager stuff but stepdad won’t butt in because he isn’t my “biological father” so would have my mom intervene brother and i from behind the scenes. For example, I am young and messing around on the piano because music is important and I never had any formal training and mom comes in to tell me stepdad “wants to know when the concert is going to end because it is a little annoying.” Anyway, they have me prescribed adderall at 16 and in the parking lot holding my first prescription I am told that they would like me to move out and in with my father, who had chased us every time mom and stepdad moved several miles away (5 moves from age 5-15 all in one county). Anyway, brother and I are recovering alcoholics with (my) slipups triggered from interactions or visiting my mom, which mom claims is genetics from my father alone and has nothing to do with her. Maternal grandfather, mother, and I have some nasty temper problems which certainly are exacerbated by drinking (at least mine and moms).
Skitrip revelations: Wife and I are on the way to brothers graduation in Chicago, and wife has yet to reveal to me that my mother has taken over her massive investment of a couples ski vacation and it will now be a family vacation for mom, stepdad, brother, two stepsisters who are all getting out of gradschool. On the way to the airport I am told the news by future wife of my one year surprise. So I get upset and call my mom to call it off. She obliges my request and now holds resentment against me and now wife for “ruining her last family vacation.” Fine, whatever. Mother never says a word about it for months until we are out for a distant family members birthday dinner and at a table of about 8-10 people that are having a group conversation and gets real close to my wife’s ear and tells her privately along the lines of “you deprived our family of our last family vacation.” During this time my wife is frantically tapping my leg under the table because my mom can get a little aggressive. My mom saw this and later (privately to me) mocked her for doing it to my leg under the table.
Christmas blessings: Closer to Christmas maybe 2/3 weeks later we went to go see my mom and my mom had a couple drinks in her (not an alcoholic like brother and I just very sensitive to a couple glasses of wine and occasionally some hidden sips of wine or something) and invites my wife to Christmas church and out to dinner after because the family needs photos for a Christmas card and future wife “will be the photographer for it.” Now this can easily be a nothing comment but given the way my mom had been making future wife feel, it was taken as an insult. So wife declined church and showed up to family dinner just in time for photography session to be over.
The distance: Then mom moves to a fancy house up the coast and invites us up to visit. At first it is ok to bring the 4 dogs then the day before she says they will not have dogs at the house and we can easily find a sitter. 2 Dogs don’t get along, they need to be separated always as there has been two attacks on one from the other, so we can’t trust someone to come to the house and keep them separate and we won’t board 4 dogs it’s too expensive for us. Anyway we go back and forth being invited with the dogs then they retract the offer and say pick one dog to bring and leave the others and it’s just annoying, so we say forget it and don’t go. But my brother becomes engaged and decides to throw his engagement party at my mom’s new place near the beach. Great. First all the dogs are welcome, then day before they say it is too chaotic and she will pay for a small hotel room for one night for future wife and her dogs and my one (the attack dog) can stay in a crate at the house with me but I may not leave the dog to stay with her. And no reasonable cheap hotel in the area is going to accommodate 4 dogs. Anyway wife is stressed but feels obligated to come because I am the best man and I stay at the house while she checks her dogs into the hotel. Wife had made a cheesecake and brought it up in a separate car from me, 4 hour drive by the way, and night of.. my mom says no desserts for engagement party dinner, the dessert is themed or some crazy stuff. Wife shows up to dinner a little later and very flustered because of the situation plus I had relapsed on a bottle of whiskey a couple days prior to seeing my mom. Related, I don’t know. Anyway. Mom has had a couple drinks and future wife and I are talking about having children and religion comes up. Mom asks what we were thinking of doing about baptism or not and I jokingly said (guiltily to get on my moms nerves a bit) that he would have a bris and would love it if she would come to the bar mitzvah. now my wife’s mom was forced to convert from Catholicism to Judaism for her own mother in laws acceptance for a failed marriage so wife is not religious, but it hurt my wife and reasonably so when my mom replied “oh, son, I raised you better than that.” Still no acknowlegement of fault from that comment and mom thinks wife is “overly sensitive, dramatic, and childish” for wanting an apology for it.
Weddings: Future wife becomes current wife. We had gotten engaged on our next anniversary trip she planned for us. I proposed on our bike and barge through tulip season in holland with our feet in the water of the North Sea after a picnic in the dunes. her family business manufactures photo albums for professional photographers, so aside from our families all being divorced, estranged, difficult, and us trying to save money, we did not have a wedding, we just did the paperwork within a month of the proposal. I had already decided to have a baby with her before the trip so we were trying. 2 weeks before brothers wedding in Tennessee we become pregnant, so we break news immediately as to not steal limelight from brothers expensive wedding. Mom says she will cover cost of rental car so we can save money. Ok great. She books the tiny car and we pack it and head up the Smokey mountains to the cabins we are staying at. Two cabins for grooms family, one for his mother and one for his father, ten paces from each other: they havnt spoken but twice im since divorce in 1995 but through lawyers. Grandmother, mother, stepdad, 2 stepsisters and one boyfriend stayed in mom’s side. Wife and I stay at father’s side cabin with just his wife. His Wife’s 3 daughters and family’s stayed a town away down the mountain among extended family. Anyway, beautiful wedding takes place. My wife is sent into town to collect flowers and run errands for my mom which she happily obliged to since she is a solitary person and did not want wedding day drama. Day after, we are loading our rental sedan with our bags. Mom and grandma need a ride to the airport and our flight is before theirs so they will drop off the car for us 4 hours or so after we go to the airport 5 hours from current time. We’re loading the car. Stepcousin passed out in mother’s cabin night before and needed a ride. Disorganized brunch for 20 people is trying to be made. Father’s wife’s daughter books a reservation for 10 people which include her family, her sisters, me, my wife, dad, and their mom. My stepdad had left for home at this point as he had taken his own suv instead of flying with my mom and 90 year old grandma. So mom is trying to pack grandma in the car with bags and my wife and stepcousin. At this point mother asks stepmother if she and grandma are on reservation for the brunch. Stepmom says no they are not, she wasn’t sure of their plans. Mom says under her breath “fucking assholes, so typical,” and she goes into a bit of a rage to which my stepmom says here “it’s ok I will call and add you two it’s no big deal.” So we continue packing the car and realize we won’t all fit. So my wife tells my stepcousin to go ride with my father to the restaurant 10 minutes away we will meet you there. Mom says to wife, “no you go with the father.” Wife says “no I am going to ride with my husband” mom gets close to her face with her finger and says “this is my car, you can fucking Uber!” Wife is 6 weeks pregnant at this point and it all escalated from here. wife and mother start yelling at each other swearing at each other and we get into the car, mom behind wife who was in shotgun. 2 occasions on the trip I had to stop the car because mom had taken off her seatbelt to stand over the seat and scream in my wife’s face with so much vigor that spit came on to her face multiple times. I’m trying to tell them both to behave and mom sit down shut the f up. Mom is telling wife to get the f out of the car and find a ride, she has no right to speak because she’s “new here” (dating and living together for 3 years at this point). The following brunch she apologized in a crowd with a hushed voice at a table of 20 people trying to have a group conversation again privately to my wife “I’m sorry you get so upset” and my wife told her “that is not an apology.” The following several hours in the car with grandma and stepcousin and wife were some of the most uncomfortable moments of my life. At a gas station I pulled my mom aside and said I need ther to give a huge apology, that it was so nasty and inappropriate, my brother and I are used to abusive language and aggressive behavior but to my pregnant wife and any other human being it is disgusting and unacceptable. Sitting in the car was quiet for many hours until we got to the airport. No speaking about what happened just mom happy go lucky about Tennessee and Dollywood and wife and I in shock, cousin still half in the bag from a fun wedding, grandma 90 years old probably confused about what happened.
The family groupchat: Im waiting on an apology from my mother to my wife who is extremely hurt and expressed to my mom loads of time she needs to reach out and apologize. We’re not talking until she will do so. It is bugging me and keeping me up at night. My appendix flares up and I am admitted to the hospital with emergency appendectomy. Still pregnant Wife suggests I reach out to mom to let her know what’s going on. So I text mom I’m at the hospital and will have surgery. I send a pic or something that on my end says hasn’t gone through. Mom group texts our family group with stepdad, his daughters, brother and his wife, and grandma that I am in the hospital and attaches the pic I sent of me in there. Then she continues to rave about the success of her startup company and how they got FDA approved clinical trials finally completed or some pivotal moment that made the text about her. Wife and I are in a hospital so the picture comes up on moms end as unable to have been sent. Mom assumes that my wife has blocked her phone, so mom removes my wife from the chat. Wife is rushing home to take care of the dogs at this point and is not alerted on her phone, but on everyone else’s phone it clearly reads “(mom) has removed (wife) from the chat.” Immediately I text my mom and basically say how dare you do that to her she is the one who insisted I let you know out of respect and mom responds with blah blah she did this she did that I will not have it. So I go back to the family chat and remove mother. At this point I let everyone in the chat know what my mother has done and how she refuses to take responsibility for how she made my wife feel, address her feelings, apologize or do anything at all to reach out about the wedding incident or even inquire about the wellbeing of the pregnancy for her first grandchild. Stepdad finally steps in and tells me “enough.” Grandma says “shame on you.” I am dumbfounded. This is a hush hush family that hates to have anything out in the open and likes to maintain a picture perfect image. For examples; 1) I and wife were on the family Christmas card of a photo taken at the wedding that the whole world received except for wife and I. 2)brothers alcoholism was to remain hidden from the family as was his rehab treatment and how it affected his career. Now understand that they like to keep things quiet but that is not how I want to handle my problems, these things trigger alcohol use and violent outbursts on my part that I no longer wish to live through. Now appendectomy’s are pretty simple so I recovered quickly (it don’t rupture we just took it out). But during the time I was scheduled to be under anesthesia, stepdad reaches out to wife to have a chat and clear the air. Wife waits until I come to so i can be there and I hear the conversation. He claims to be here as a middleman like a business meeting to fix things once and for all. Wife and I are like wow great. He then proceeds to double down on my moms behalf that they will not be apologizing or meet any of her demands as she had already apologized as confirmed by 90yo grandma who was in the car and my mother herself. The term he used was stalemate to describe the situation. Wife and I are shocked but she has me keep quiet to show me what he will say. He proceeds to yell at her and they were screaming at each other, again steamrolling the conversation assuring us that he was down the middle yet maintains that mom has made a sufficient apology that needs to be accepted and wife needs to grow up and move on, then wishing her luck with the baby and a nice life. Next day I call stepdad to see how it went. He reassures me that he has done all he can and everything is back to normal. At this point I call him out and tell him I was conscious and explain to him what an apology is. But there is no dialogue with this guy like there is no dialogue with my mother. He proceeds to talk loudly over me like she does and basically call me a piece of shit for the amount he and mother have done for me. I speak to him first time like I never have before by calling him a hands off father and a pussy of a man who finally reaches out while he thinks I am under anesthesia to yell at my wife then pretend it’s cool, and I basically tell him he has never done a single thing for me to try and develop me into a man or nurture me as a child into an adult, but he thinks taking me on fishing trips and ski vacations are equivalent to love and nurturing growth and development just like my mom does. I reassure him that he has no right to talk about family being that he ruined his own as well as mine and couldn’t even tell my dad to his face that it was him who was sleeping with my mom behind his back when my dad came to him very upset as a friend when he got an anonymous phone tip at work one day. Then him and my mom laughed about it in court when my dad brought it up during the divorce. We ended with swearing and I felt very happy for finally giving my true feelings to him.
The birth: Months go by and nobody has said a thing. I can’t sleep at night seeing how much love I am getting from my father and his side for the baby, and my wife’s family, then thinking about how my own mother hasn’t reached out a single time. I’m dreaming about beating up my stepdad and it’s driving me mad. So weeks before the due date I reach out to my mom begging her to clear things up and apologize to my wife. Nothing. A week later i tell her how disappointed and abandoned I feel and want her in the family. Nothing. Baby comes a couple days early. Everyone is excited. Mom texts me begging for photos and to let everyone know. I tell her my brother and two stepsisters have received photos. I ask her to please reach out to wife she still needs to make amends for what’s happened between them and all she needs to do is reach out. Mom’s responses have been defensive, derisive, projecting, playing victim and referring to herself as a kicked puppy. Telling me my wife needs to apologize to her and making the conversation about mother son instead. She is beating around the bush. And she is sending me photos of my own baby that I did not send her. Her friends are congratulating me that I did not tell. Again she is pretending that everything is ok and it is not. She asked me to apologize to her husband for what I said on the phone that day. I said ok, watch this. So I sent the guy a message that was very apologetic and not passive aggressive or backhanded comments in any way. Still my mom won’t say anything.
Now: Baby is 6 days old. He is the best thing in my life and I wish my family were involved but it seems like I am living in a fantasy world where everyone can be happy together. I can be a jerk and have a terrible relationship with my mom, but I want more than anything to just feel loved enough where she can swallow her pride and make amends with my wife. Thats it. And she asked the other day to put a family group chat so everyone can be involved… for real? I know she is stressed with a high pressure job, but it seems heartless to me. She asks what big items she can get for the baby. Mom, baby is here we have everything for a couple months already. I said the biggest thing you can do is reach out and have a heart to heart with my wife so this rift can end and we can at least be cordial if you two can’t get along. I don’t think it will happen.
How do I mend this relationship between my wife and my mother?

So today I had a woman let’s name her Jane come to pick up her child’s medication. And I told her kindly at the time that it was going to be about 45 minutes since we were short staffed. The woman replies “ugh see this is why I hate this pharmacy. I requested the refill at 11:30 today why isn’t it ready?!” Which I kindly say, “maam I apologize but we are extremely short staffed and we are doing everything we can to help get everyone their meds. I’ll see you in 45 minutes.” To which this evil cake face responses “no I’ll see you in 30 minutes and it better be ready.” And she proceeds to gas it out of drive through. (We have two full time and two part time people there at the time and truck plus 4 shots waiting and my pharmacist was in an interview for another part timer) one of the full times started profusely vomiting so she leaves (side note the full time that left has called out of work every single week at least two days so she not expected back). So now there are three techs in the pharmacy two on customer service and one girl counting. Time passes and I think oh that woman isn’t back yet maybe she’s just gonna wait for the text. It had been like 20 minutes and she’s a known problem. Truly she thinks we only have her family’s prescriptions to fill. She then rolls of to drive through at maybe 30 minutes since the last time I’ve seen her and I tell her, “hey Mrs Jane I apologize but blah blah isn’t filled yet could you either come wait inside that way I can just check you out the moment it’s done or you can make a loop and hop back in line and I’ll have it ready and waiting when you get back.” She proceeds to shoot laser beams out her eyes at me and yell, “WHAT DO YOU MEAN I TOLD YOU ID BE BACK IN 20 MINUTES WHY THE ____ IS BLAH BLAH’S MEDICINE READY. GET IT READY RIGHT NOW!” “Maam, I understand it’s frustrating but you will not yell at me. If you will kindly come inside-“ “NO YOU WILL FILL THOSE PRESCRIPTIONS RIGHT THIS SECOND AND GIVE THEM TO ME. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS SLAP A LABEL ON THEM” “Maam, I’m sorry but that’s not how this works. I have to print the label pull the drugs verify the drug is the correct dose and ndc then count it out then it’s got to have a photo for proof of the quantity I counted then it gets its vial. Then I scan everything then it gets a label slapped on it then it gets bagged. Then I hand it off to the pharmacist to make sure I am giving the correct drug,quantity to blah blah. So no I do not slap labels on anything. Now you can either move out of my drive through and come inside or you can make a loop.” At this point I’m shaking bc that’s how I get pissed one of my part time coworkers asks to take over and I told her no because the front pick up also has a line. “ what are you gonna do move my car. Fill my scripts for blah blah now. I hate this pharmacy yall are so lazy. Every time I’m here it’s always so busy and yall are so hateful to me and my family.” “Maam would you prefer I transfer you else where bc there are people behind you who need their drugs to and you sitting here prevents me from helping them or you. So you have your options. Or I’m going to get the pharmacist involved.” Didn’t even have to bc one of my beautiful regulars happened to be inside and called my pharmacist and told her that I needed help My pharmacist proceeded to come up with her 5’2 self and tell her if she doesn’t move in the next ten seconds she’s calling the dr and telling them we will not longer be filling for them and they will have to go else where. The woman left and sent her husband who apologized but I’m transferring them out tomorrow. Happy Tuesday! Thanks for reading

Howdy Once again reddit I'm looking for someone to fill an empty spot in my Monday group for DND 5E
For some context: One of our group members has gone MIA for over a month now, he was the heart of our party and it was very much unlike him to just ghost us out of the blue like this. Our worries aside the game has gone on due to factors I'll be listing below. Normally we would wait a bit longer for him, but during this weeks session a PC died so I figured it was a good time to get a new player to introduce along side the other player whos making a new character.
Things you should Know:

• Homebrewed setting, specifically in the homebrewed version of the Underdark known as the Underdeep. a vast, mostly alien subterranean world. I do have Documents that are OPTIONAL READS if you want to know more about the setting(I know some DM's make those mandatory to play and can be a turn off) While the Underdeep is the Primary setting of the campaign originally I will say expect to leave it in bits and pieces from this point as the hunt for the big bad will likely involve going to other planes and the like. High fantasy stuff.
• Party is now Level 8 as of last session and the bigger plot of the campaign has officially begun to unfold as the group is setting out to hunt down a powerful pseudo-lich who tricked them into reviving him and was responsible for the previously mentioned PC's death.
• The original concept for this campaign was to have two groups operating within the same setting at the same time and eventually would have them meet up for one big final battle but that plan is half out the window at this point. the main rule thats come as a result of this is no inter-campaign spoilers with the wednesday group.
• I am RP focused and looking for players who can quickly immerse themselves in the world and the roleplay. There have been times were the group can go multiple sessions without combat and just deal with inter-character drama or planning.
• The entirety of the game is handled via Discord and google Docs. No Roll20 or other such VTT sims. I have never had the patience to figure those out... As such, working Mic is required.
• I need to Preface that the discord server in Question is originally a NSFW art community, as such all applicants are to be 18+. Though the Subject matter of the campaigns themselves is NEVER to exceed PG16 at the worst. (SFW role that hides the NSFW content is available upon request)
• As stated in the title, we have our games every MONDAY at 7PM EST. I am looking for someone who can consistently make that day every week.
• While you will be joining the campaign fairly late (Original intended level range was going to be level 10, though now is more realistically looking to be around 13-14) Know that the campaign will likely continue for a number of months ahead, so please do not be dissuaded by the fact your a late joiner.
• All Applicants are welcome to stay in the discord server as One shots are held on the occasion and we have other people who host other DND games in the server as well (we currently have a Curse of Strahd game going thats ran by one of the wednesday guys.) We are a DND community and we welcome whoever wants to stick around. we also host movie nights and game nights regularly so even if you arent chosen for the Monday Night games your free to spectate the other DND games hosted on the server or participate in the other activities and conversations held in the server. While it started as a NSFW art community (and still does host NSFW content, fair warning) Its no longer just that and serves as a bigger gaming community.

That is all. If you wish to Apply, add me on Discord and shoot me a DM. My name on there is "Ceekon". I hope to see you there and hope you have a good time :)

…okay, so after going through acute appendicitis and an emergency appendectomy while I had COVID in January of 2022, less than six months after giving birth to our youngest, I’m now nursing my husband in bed after he just got done vomiting pretty much everything he’s eaten today. He’s been suffering from increasingly worse abdominal pains for the last seven hours or so.
I’ve seen the man doubled over with gas pains (which is what he was originally thinking this was,) so I know his pain tolerance isn’t super high, but the locale of the pain he is suffering right now, plus the vomiting nearly 7 hours in, coupled with the fact that he does feel warm to the touch in the lower right quadrant of his abdomen and forehead (even though he is not complaining of pain on the right side yet, just a generalized central pain deep in his abdomen about 3 to 4 inches above his belly button,) is all, in truth, freaking me the fuck out. In five years I’ve never seen him like this.
Problem is, the ED nearest us would be lucky to have him triaged and tests ordered within a 6 to 8 hour window, I’m scheduled to work second shift tomorrow, I’ve already had to take a ton of time off due to literally every other emergency that could happen (I’m dealing with an ovarian cyst large enough to warrant surgery, I had to take an entire day to fix the tag on our only vehicle, the grapefruit on my ovary comes with a host of debilitating side effects that have me in and out of the office right now, and I’m literally six months into this new phase of my career. At the end of the day, I don’t care if it’s not a good look if I have to request PTO to take him in, but we don’t have anybody close enough to us to watch the baby and I don’t really feel that an emergency department is an appropriate setting for her right now, co-pay is through the roof…you get the idea.
So I guess I’m asking this: at the time of this post, it’s been about 30 minutes since he’s vomited, it was just the one instance so far, he says he doesn’t feel the ‘stabbing’ pain anymore, just pressure, but he’s snuggled up to me and is quite warm now, like bordering on feverish, and when I push on his abdomen, the warmth/pressure/deep pain behind and above his belly button (only when I push right now,) is just really worrying me. Enough to ask internet strangers if I should take him in. Might he have the beginning stages of appendicitis?
I tried calling the back of his insurance card several hours ago - they used to have a 24 hour nurse helpline where they would give limited medical advice, but it was better than nothing, however, this time I got a customer service rep, so I figured I would ask where they would give limited medical advice, but it was better than nothing, however, this time I got a customer service rep, so I figured I would ask the fine citizens here on Reddit. Worth the trip? I’m down for a paid day off, not so down for subjecting my family to a nasty ED waiting room for 8-12 hours if it’s NOT appendicitis.
He wants to get some rest right now; it’s just after 11 PM my time and truthfully, I’m working a combination of first, second, and third shift(s) with a maximum of seven hour “breaks” in between and we’re all exhausted. Should I let him sleep a little and assess when he wakes, or should I not even take the chance?
EDIT: he just told me he’s still having little sharp stabbing pains here and there, though not nearly as frequently as before (I woke him up to move him to a more comfortable position, it’s been an hour now since he vomited.)

Hi All- (kind of petty question that's bothering me an unreasonable amount)
I'm a long-time lurker here, but this is my first time being driven to a "WTH do I do with this???" post.
I lead a team of 7 at a small public health nonprofit that's in the process of doing some (genuinely) big and cool things: we just bought our own building that we're renovating and moving our staff of 24 into. Opening up a community health center for underserved folks and survivors of a mass shooting, etc. etc. (read: we're very very busy and because we're doing it with a team of 24, the general vibe is "all hands on deck" and "we'll sleep when we're dead.")
I'm a work-'till-you-drop kind of person, and where I deeply believe in the importance of team building and camaraderie, I don't get overly involved with my team and am on the "we're here to do important things and then we go home to our lives" side of relationship building with colleagues. All this to say- I have an employee who has been with the org for 1.5 years, and who has struggled since their 3rd month on the job. They moved into a new, very different position about 6 months into their role that I was hoping would be a good fit, and it wasn't. After lots of coaching and an eventual PIP, they dubiously resigned to go back to school, giving me a 4-month heads up. Considered it a big win, and they've been chugging right along and getting exactly what's been asked of them and nothing more done (an improvement from before), and I've been coasting to their last day with a sense of relief.
This employee LOVES connecting with others. Classic "not getting anything done but talking for hours at the water cooler vibes," and is quick to tell me that they feel left out when they aren't invited to senior leadership meetings (a group that they aren't a part of.) They often dip out on late nights at work when the rest of the team is hosting community events, siting "work life balance" and lack of energy when the rest of the team is pushing through to get services to those who need it.
This morning I was approached by our EA, who let me know this employee approached them to ask about a "going away" party on their behalf. They referenced wanting an event very similar to one we'd recently thrown for a executive leader in the organization, who had been with us and developed an entire department for almost a decade. The lunch we put on for this executive leader was expensive (for a frugal nonprofit) and was an ordeal that old staff came back to attend. We ate and drank and shared our favorite memories of this employee to send him off to his new adventure working for the Governor's office.
Long-story-long: I'm so flabbergasted and offended(?) by this request, that I'm having a hard time responding how I know I should. I would have planned a little happy hour, in the midst of our work's chaos, and had folks sign a card and sent them on their way. But now, I'm so annoyed and put off by their request, I don't want to do anything at all. The EA is also weirded out, and unsure how to respond to the request. She's asked me to circle back with my employee, understandably so, and figure out what my team wants to host.
Our org has no budget for these things. In the few times employees have moved on to other positions, it's usually a "we all chip in" or a low-key happy hour. All I want to do is sit down with this employee and say "Hi. [EA] told me that you approached them about a going away party. We don't ask for parties thrown on our behalf, in the same way we don't ask for gifts. Get over yourself, and good riddence." but- for obvious reasons, I can't do that.
I'll take any- "Get a grip and give this person a party." or "Omg how obnoxious" advice / responses. But mostly curious if anyone has dealt with this before? Am I so biased by my humble midwest upbringing that I can't see this clearly? Help?

Hello! My name is Camden, I'm a certified Adobe Photoshop professional here to work with you to get you exactly what you are looking for and beyond.
I've worked with countless businesses and individuals to create and/or alter just about every type of photo. These range from 1 on 1 logo designs and ad campaigns, to mastering your wedding pictures, to touching up your social media pictures to perfection, and just about everything in between. I am open to all requests, my only exceptions to this are NSFW photos and any photo alterations that are intended for illegal activities such as altering documents or editing items to look damaged for warranty claims.

Process

1. To start things off, you can reach me at my email, direct messages, or submit a quote form. If you are interested in a logo design for your business, please fill out the Logo Form.

• Logo / Identity Questionnaire: Questionnaire
• Email: [Timelesssculpting@gmail.com](mailto:Timelesssculpting@gmail.com)
• Message me on my Reddit profile
• Fill out a quote form: Quote form here
• Please include your pictures via a cloud service such as Dropbox, Postimages, or Google Drive. Please provide details on the project; what your goal is and any additional information.

1. Once I have received the details, I will get back to you as quickly as possible. I may have a few questions in order to get all the necessary details.

• All jobs require a 50% up front deposit. I will only begin working on your photos once I receive the deposit.
• When I send the edited picture/s back, it’ll have a watermark on it. At this point, let me know if you would like any small changes.
• Once you are happy with the picture/s, I will send the link for the rest of the payment. Once paid, I will send over the full resolution photos without watermark.
• No changes can be made after you have sent the second payment.

Turnaround Time

The time it takes to complete the photo/s depends on the type of edits and quantity of photos. Simple edits will generally be done within 12 hours if requested during the day (PST). More complex edits such as wedding photos or old photo restorations will typically be done within 24 hours. Logo design or ad campaigns are a longer process that will take anywhere from 2-14 days. I will provide a better time estimate when we are talking about the picture.

Feel free to reach out to me if you have any questions! I aim to have reliable work with quick turnaround times, all while remaining cost efficient : ) I look forward to hearing from you.

PC

Reddit Account: Satisfactionleather7
Discord Tag: CertifiedEveSimp
Name and House: Valarr velaryon
Age: 48
Cultural Group: Valyrian
Appearance: A tall man, but not a large man, standing at six feet, with thick arms and a firm stance, one would expect him to be the visaghe of strength, but more often than not, his bright clothes and feathered hat are simply covering for his drunken state and constant wide smile, though his rugged handsomeness helps.
Trait: Strong
Skill(s): Swords, Essosi Blademaster (e), Dual Wielding, daggers
Talent(s): Singing, Sailing, gambling
Negative Trait(s):
Starting Title(s): Lord of Driftmark, Lord of the Tides, Master of Ships
Starting Location: Opening Event
Alternate Characters: n/a
​

AC

Name and House: Raya Stark
Age: 45
Cultural Group: First Man
Appearance: Marked by slight lines of age, the lady Stark has tanned at sea, her freckles now less pronounced, but her beauty holding strong just as her sense of fashion and love for hats has done the same. Dressed usually in darker tones than her husband, she is still a woman who looks fresh from sea no matter the occasion.
Trait: Mariner
Skill(s): Admiral (e), scrutinous
Talent(s): Sailing, Singing, Caligraphy
Negative Trait(s):
Starting Title(s): Lady of Driftmark
Starting Location: Opening Event
Alternate Characters: n/a
---

Timeline

23 BCE - Valarr Velaryon is born on Driftmark to a cousin of the existing lords of driftmark under Daemon Velaryon. He is never expected to find any power of his own.
20 BCE - Raya Stark is born, a cousin to Torrhen Stark, the king in the North and soon to be the Kneeler. It was said that the first thing she did when she was given the ability to crawl, was to attempt to climb into a bath on her own.
15 BCE - Valarr, at age eight, is brought on his first voyage by his father. The young Valarr is taken on a trading trip to Braavos with his father and the young boy soon becomes enamored with the concept of the sea and the beauty of the world. Beginning his love for travel and sailing.
12 BCE - In White Harbour, where Raya's family had moved, she too takes her first voyage, alongside her father, the tomboyish girl leaves the city and learns ship and sail on a voyage to Duskendale and then Oldtown.
9 BCE - Valarr, now 14, an experienced sailor and well-trained in the sword begins charting his own small trips from Driftmark to trade partners on Westeros. These voyages are only of a few days at best, but largely they are of great success and the man begins building up a regular crew of men and women to serve on his vessels.
7 BCE - Across the sea, Raya Stark begins working with her own small scale shipping adventures, sailing along the coast of the North and down to Gulltown, also in the process she finds herself carrying out anti-piracy actions for her cousin... or rather she is upon the ships that do so and she rambunctiously states she is in fact leading the party. The sailors with her humour her.
5 BCE - Valarr Velaryon begins travelling through Essos. He spends three years moving about through Essos, this first voyage largely spent travelling between Driftmark and the Free cities, fighting in Braavos, Pentos and Tyrosh specifically, but come his latest return home in 3 BCE, he is given word of Aegon's plans for Westeros. Daemon recruits him to fight in the war, and act as a captain in the Velaryon fleet.
2 BCE - Daemon Velaryon sends Valarr north to White harbour to negotiate with the Starks and bring them into the kingdom peacefully, but he is shut out quickly and instead spends time in White Harbour assessing the fleet of the manderlys. There he meets Raya Stark while he competes in a smaller tourney. The two quickly fall in love, and marry. Valarr then returns home to Driftmark with his new wife, and later that year his first son is born.
1 BCE - Valarr deploys to the mainland to fight in the field for Aegon, doing battle under numerous engagements and distinguishing himself well. Meanwhile, his wife Raya takes to her new home well, and leads a small detachment of the Velaryon fleet in battle.
1 AC - Valarr, upon his duty in the war finishing, takes his wife with him back to Essos, and for the next several years he travels the continent proper, his wife and his growing family accompanying him and at times being left back on Driftmark. At times being raised at sea on his travels, at others in Essos.
3 AC - Rhaegal Velaryon, the second son, is born.
4 AC - Valarr, while travelling in Essos, meets a man with a mysterious black Arakh. Over drinks they speak and the man reveals its history to him as some ritual required for a new owner to claim the weapon. Having bested the man in an arena the day before, the man requests a duel to give over the weapon. In the fight, the stranger is wounded, but Valarr no less takes him to receive healing. The man passess on his sword, and Valarr comes into possession of a black sword by the name of
5 AC - Laena Velaryon, his first daughter is born.
6 AC - Viserra Velaryon, the youngest child is born.
7-14 AC - Valarr's adventures in Essos continue and continue to bring him great renown and wealth in the East through adventuring and selling his sword and ship to the highest bidder. However, during this period, he visits Asshai and for fun seeks to have his fortune read. In doing so, a masked figure tells him that he must return to his home, for "the seahorse shall burn seven years after the dragon drowns." At first he does not find any logic to it, and then he hears of the death of Aegon by a Riverlander plot. And for years he contemplates the words, eventually choosing to return home to Driftmark.
15 AC - The kingswood catastrophe wipes out the line of Daemon Velaryon, and when the next Velaryon was needed, Valarr was there on the island and was elevated to be the new lord of the tides from his new keep on Driftmark, High Tide.
16-24 AC - Between the years of 16-24 AC, Valarr's travels east slow down, and he begins to spend more time in King's landing and Driftmark, namely he takes a liking to hosting tourneys on the island regularly, and enjoys the betting and the sport that it brings, competing himself numerous times.
20 AC - Partakes in the Eastern Wooing.
23 AC - Raya Stark negotiates Laena Velaryon marrying Maelor Velaryon's firstborn son. Laena is forced to break off a romance with Dickon bracken, though she knew their romance was doomed already.
--
Family Tree
---
NPCS
Laena Velaryon - master at arms.
Maegor Velaryon - Ship Captain

Introduction

1. Will this be your first dog? If not, what experience do you have owning/training dogs?

• family has had several dogs but -my- dog from age 8-25 was a chihuahua, sadly not trained very well as i was a child. currently learning how to handle dogs better at my job

1. Do you have a preference for rescuing a dog vs. going through a reputable breeder?

• either is fine but i would prefer an adult dog (so rescue or retired breeder)

1. Describe your ideal dog.

• friendly and playful without being too off the wall in energy, able to be taken around new places as i moved to a very dog friendly area where everyone has theirs with them. something to encourage me and my roommates to go outside more/go on smaller trail walks. we are all gamers in our 30s so nothing we need to run marathons with. a bonus is if it has workable fuhair as i am a bather at a grooming salon and it would be fun to learn to groom my own dog

1. What breeds or types of dogs are you interested in and why?

• shih tzu, toy/mini poodle, boston terrier, pug mixes, pomeranian. preferably toy/small dogs but medium ones aren't out of the question

1. What sorts of things would you like to train your dog to do?

• simple and nessacery commands like sit/stay/going to a crate if needed

1. Do you want to compete with your dog in a sport (e.g. agility, obedience, rally) or use your dog for a form of work (e.g. hunting, herding, livestock guarding)? If so, how much experience do you have with this work/sport?

• does grooming competitions count? if not with me then my coworkers could use them as a model

Care Commitments
7) How long do you want to devote to training, playing with, or otherwise interacting with your dog each day?

• on a work day i have around 5 hours of free time between coming home and going to bed

8) How long can you exercise your dog each day, on average? What sorts of exercise are you planning to give your dog regularly and does that include using a dog park?

• daily walks and play, longer walks during off days/if i happen to have taken them to work

9) How much regular brushing are you willing to do? Are you open to trimming hair, cleaning ears, or doing other grooming at home? If not, would you be willing to pay a professional to do it regularly?

• daily, though i am starting to shy away from double/tripple coated dogs like a pom/spitz as the brushing can be a bit too intense sometimes

Personal Preferences
10) What size dog are you looking for?

• toy to medium

11) How much shedding, barking, and slobber can you handle?

• moderate amount. the only breed ive seen that sheds an intolerable amount is westies

12) How important is being able to let your dog off-leash in an unfenced area?

• as i live in an apartment i would not do this. in my own yard maybe if the dog has good recall (my chihuahua had great recall/didnt walk far from me so she was not leashed at home)

Dog Personality and Behavior
13) Do you want a snuggly dog or one that prefers some personal space?

• a good median or leaning towards independent. i sleep in a loft bed so a dog that is so clingy it needs to sleep with me would be a sad situation

14) Would you prefer a dog that wants to do its own thing or one that’s more eager-to-please?

• leaning toward eager to please. i'd prefer a dog that is more dog than cat

15) How would you prefer your dog to respond to someone knocking on the door or entering your yard? How would you prefer your dog to greet strangers or visitors?

• i would like a much friendlier-to-strangers dog than the ones ive had in the past.

16) Are you willing to manage a dog that is aggressive to other dogs?

• i would seek training if that were the case but as i would like to have my dog in public/at work around other dogs id like a more dog-friendly breed

17) Are there any other behaviors you can’t deal with or want to avoid?

• dogs that are very escapey/good at climbing though i think this is more a sporting/bird dog trait

Lifestyle
18) How often and how long will the dog be left alone?

• one roommate is unemployeed/disabled so it would not be left alone but i also would not want a dog that is incapable of being alone if need be

19) What are the dog-related preferences of other people in the house and what will be their involvement in caring for the dog?

• no standard poodles, though i believe that to be too big/unmanagable of a dog for me currently. roommates can help with basic needs though as we are on the 2nd floor the primary person to take the dog outside would be me, so training to use a puppy pad or being able to be put on a feeding schedule to manage potty breaks would be a must

20) Do you have other pets or are you planning on having other pets? What breed or type of animal are they?

• we have a chinchilla, a cat, and two lizards, so a breed with little to no prey drive would be prefered.

21) Will the dog be interacting with children regularly?

• no

22) Do you rent or plan to rent in the future? If applicable, what breed or weight restrictions are on your current lease?

• weight limit of 50lbs/typical "banned" breeds

23) What city or country do you live in and are you aware of any laws banning certain breeds?

• washington state, us

24) What is the average temperature of a typical summer and winter day where you live?

• mild climate of 30-50 in the winter and 50-80 in the summer

Additional Information and Questions
25) Please provide any additional information you feel may be relevant.

• i know skin issues are more genetic than breed specific but as both my chihuahua and last cat had skin problems i'd prefer a breed that is not known to be prone to them

26) Feel free to ask any questions below.

• does anyone have any advice for applying to private rescue groups? i feel as though as soon as i put that i live in an apartment on my applications they throw it in the trash. every local rescue requires a fenced in yard/home ownership for even the smallest/laziest dog breeds. they also request very extensive medical records of previous pets but having just moved here from the south i'm sure my previous vets have more urgent things to do than dig through nearly decades old files for these groups and are leaving their emails on read.
  small dogs metaphorically fly off the shelves at the humane society so my other option would be breeders but i'd rather rescue an adult dog in need of a home than spend 3 grand on a new puppy. i know that texas sends their dogs all over the country but these out-of-town dogs arent afforded meet and greets so it seems like a mild gamble of taking their word for how the dog looks/behaves before adopting them.
  

I was buying a 50$ pack of genesis xtal and because im on phone i just decide to do it then and there in game.
Open shop, chose the item, pay through bank and then returned as failed payment, but the money is taken, i asked hoyo for refund but they have yet to reply but when i double check my receipt, it was to google play instead so i set it there and afterward just do another purchase of the same item but on PC this time. It works as usual and the payment went directly to hoyo. Got Arle in time so i was happy.
But today i am pissed, not only that i didnt received my refund of 50$ worth of genesis xtal, i also got a message from Google Play that says my refund request does not met with their policies which is a big bs to me. So now i spent 100$ and only getting 50$ worth of genesis xtal. It pissed me off that the issue didnt came from hoyo but from google play itself.
Right now im not sure who to ask for refund...
Edit:
I just got the genesis xtal from the failed purchase today, imma ask for a refund from that, that one is way too late already