How to unblock bit comet

I’ve had like 2 triggers today that resulted in me crying quietly or having to go to the bathroom bc I got butthurt. Some guy I been talking to as a friend kinda said he didn’t want to be my friend anymore because I want to sleep with him and that he doesn’t want to sleep with me unless we are in a relationship. He also said he liked me for a bit but that I was still in love w my ex and just wanted to wish me well. (Mind you he has thrown hints and said he wanted to sleep with me too) . Anyways I’ve been butthurt, and my ex found me on a dating app and he swiped me. I was triggered and upset bc I don’t want him on there and he knows I’m obsessed with him, I told him I reported his account . And he blocked me on there , but I texted him somewhere else he unblocked me and said it’s okay and that I’m just scary. I started crying because I realized he might be afraid of me. And we had been friends with benefits for months ( I suggested it) he caught feelings but I fell in love and started tweaking. I told him I would stop sleeping with him and that I would go on a date with my manager . Bc he wasn’t texting me fast enough while he was at work. We just got back in contact and he’s been texting me but I want him to unblock my # . I just realized he won’t bc he thinks I’m insane. He’s aware I have bpd we dated back in 2021-2022. I’ve dated another man and got over him fast but I’ve never been able to get over this ex and he knows it. He drives me insane but deep down I like it sometimes and he claims he likes how crazy I am but when he blocked me and I showed up to his house he told me to leave him alone . I’m just so tired of feeling this way. I just feel out of control .

Decklist at the bottom. Long post, so here's my questions up front: How do you feel about control decks in casual pods, as I know a lot of players just dislike control as a whole? And if I brought this deck out at a table you were in, what would you think?
Hello! I recently got back into playing EDH. This Charix list is my first pet project deck, as when I had first seen Charix spoiled, I knew I wanted to make a crab tribal, but well, crabs are kinda bad. I had never designed an EDH deck from scratch before. But mono-U? As a player who does enjoy playing control, I figured having a horrible creature base is more than able to be played in this color. So I built it, restricted myself to only creatures that have crab in their type line, no changelings, tinkered a bit, and maybe played two games with my friends before going on my multiple year hiatus, so I did not get enough play testing to see how it would do in the wild. I did recently put my decks/collection into ManaBox and was kinds surprised at the deck price once I had finished, it was more expensive than my Animar and only slightly under my Breya's current deck cost, mostly due to me trying to get the best tribal support I could for a very, very bad tribal.
Last night I went to play commander for the first time at a new LGS, and had a super awesome pod! It was a fatheson duo who had some really strong decks using [[Rowan, Scion of War]] and [[Kolaghan, the Storm's Fury]], the 4th player in our pod was playing a [[Zedruu the Gatehearted]] gifting deck(idk if that's the right term, he'd swap control of permanents and give stuff, but not really group hug, he was the often the only one generating value). All of us were very lighthearted about plays and whatnot, often times congratulating each other when we did something cool or good for the table and the table politics were incredibly hilarious with the fatheson dynamic being involved. I am very upfront about the theme of the deck being bad bodies with a lot of counterspells and board bounces, without a true win con, during rule 0 discussion. But this brings me to the topic point because well..
Our first game took almost 3 hours to finish. I know that playing control slows games down, and if you look at my list with the counterspells/board bounces I run, I'm not surprised that it did run long,, I want to say I played 2 bounces that game, between turns 7 and 11. No one at the table complained about the length of game, and while there were some groans by whichever player was getting counterspelled at the time of resolving, no one was really vocal about having a control player in their pod outside of one comment of, "I prefer playing the kind of Magic that let's other people play their cards as well." Which I did not take as a dig, as I can 100% understand and relate to that sentiment; the players who taught me EDH ran a lot of interaction, so I found out pretty fast that not having interaction can be a big detriment in a multi-player format and very unfun for players who do not.
The Kolaghan player was killed due to the Zedruu player gifting him a Nine Lives before I played a [[Coastal Breach]], I honestly forgot that it was going to kill him until I had resolved my spell and we saw the boardstate. He laughed it off and sat and watched us continue, as his son was still playing.
His son was the next player out, a couple of turns later. He had gotten himself super low to use Rowan across multiple turns, and ended up flipping really poorly with his [[Dark Confidant]] and actually ended up killing himself with a reveal trigger.
This ended up leaving just me and the Zedruu player, who eventually ended up giving me his Nine Lives again, which effectively put our game into a stand still as I had tons of chump blockers and a [[Maze of Ith]] to stop his unblockable [[Body of Knowledge]] and couldn't draw a Rift to save my life. I was able to mill him down to 2 cards after at one point, when he played [[Archangel's Light]], putting 97 cards back into his library, gaining a huge amount of life, and forcing me to mill his entire deck a second time (I think he milled between 150-160 cards across the whole game). By the time I did manage to mill him down to win, the game had been 2 hours and 55 minutes long. The fatheson duo had completed two 1v1's while waiting for us to finish the first game at the table.
I felt horrible. Not because I won using control, but because I felt like:
a) I effectively forced the table to play almost 2 games worth of time in a single game and
b) the last half of the game was just me and the Zedruu player watching his milled cards to see if he would mill the things keeping him alive while two people waited for us to clean up. My decks only real "win cons" are milling, and potentially a [[Cyclonic Rift]] or [[Coastal Breach]] to let me pump Charix to lethal commander damage with the tribal support. I'm hesitant to add a true win con since playing a control heavy deck into a 'no responses? OK, I win' combo wasn't the idea behind the deck. I just wanted an heavy interaction focused deck, with some funny crabs.
Thankfully, we were able to get 2 more games in before the end of the night, I promptly switched decks to more combo heavy and lost both games(which was well deserved, both times I was getting ready to combo to win if no responses on my next turn). I really do think I'm the only one who walked away feeling bad about the first game, so that's why I'm here. Asking how y'all might feel after the first game at a table taking 3 hours.
https://manabox.app/decks/G6A_16Q7QWuSEpDm1oRuCg

Right now, I just want to vent me and my ex-girlfriend. She has been diagnosed with BPD and many other mental disorders have a long and troubling past. We had a year and a half long relationship after half a year in our relationship she cheated on me with another guy, she was messing around with him. She got pregnant by either me or him she doesn’t know, but she’ll tell people it was either me or him and it depends on her mood.
A while ago, she got out of the relationship and me and her family help her. She disrespected some family members and they have cut her off completely and her family has praise me for but now I see that it was really a waste of time to help her.
Recently, I went out to go see her, and when I did, she tried multiple times through my phone when she did she got mad at me for talking to another girl about a few months before her running away from the other guy that she left me for because of a piece of relationship and another guy I was a bit curious at the time of our break up And she is mad at me about things that I have done outside of our relationship which very much confuses
I helped her out with almost $5000 and I’ve been asking her to get that money back. She’s telling me that I did it out as my heart and I said yeah but you said you were gonna pay me back and she said no I did. I never said that what she did on social media she has been asking me for money. I said money I’m not you giving you more money if you already owe me and she gets mad and starts blocking me again about a month ago I had to change my phone number
so I can get into contact with her so she can pay me back the money she owes me she kept on talking about how she was a victim in our relationship, but she was gaslighting me, manipulating me trying to control who I can and can’t talk to who I can and can’t follow, but she followed a guy that wanted to be in a relationship with her her exes and was flirting with people behind my backand she’s telling me that she’s victim our relationship
Then out of the blue two guys pop up and I hear them on the phone and they’re calling me a stalker they’re calling me harass her. They call me a weirdo. I’m telling them that I just want my money back and they’re telling me that that’s a problem that’s my own personal problem and I don’t need to go For the money she owes me for helping her and then I clarified some situations because they were like oh you’re harassing her. I said she unblocked me a while ago
They said oh she’s a nice person. Why are you harassing her? I said she cheated on me. Oh it was probably like a one night stand and I clarified no she was with the guy for four months and got pregnant by him or me well, you probably did something And I told them one time she lied to the police and sent me to jail. Oh you did something to her for her to do and like you can sit here and tell the cops and they’re trying to FaceTime me see what I look like a weirdo or something like that which insult me and embarrasses me because he’s two people are in a conversation about something they don’t even know about
Can I talk to my ex because she owes me money and I want my money back they hung up the phone on me and they blocked me later to help her now she’s blowing up my phone and mad at me a lawyer and she can possibly go to jail for not paying me And she has a warrant for her arrest because she stole a car running away from the that she left me for
So right now I’m just venting because I’m tired of my ex delusions that she has done nothing wrong in our relationship that she is the complete and utter victim and that only person that was doing wrong with me after she cheated she gaslight me. She lied on me and she tried to control where I went and also asked for my location And I asked for hers and she said I shouldn’t be giving it out to you because you’ll just try to manipulate me and try to stop me from hanging out with my friends when she didn’t have any friends, and the only people she had was guys wanna have sex with her.

Hoping for some advice on how to handle a pretty delicate situation in my family. It’s about me (34M), my sister (36F) and my father (65M). My parents divorced when I was a kid so my mother is not directly involved in any of this. At the end of this post, there is a very concrete situation that I need advice on how to handle so if you don't want to read too much you could skip to the final part (The situation), but the first parts provide a bit of background.
My father and I
My father and I haven’t had any contact for 6 years whatsoever. To put it briefly, we’ve always had a very tumultuous and downright antagonistic relationship and after many, many years of pain, sorrow and disappointment I finally gave up on having a relationship with him at all. One night, in a fit of fury, I told him how I felt about him and in no uncertain terms. I told him that I regard him as a child abuser and a vile, moronic narcissist and that he means less than nothing to me. I meant every word, still do and shortly thereafter, I sent him a massive text message that made it very clear exactly how he has harmed me and how it has affected my life. I then immediately blocked his number as my mind was made up and I just wanted him gone. For good - and I couldn't care less about his response or any future communication.
So, there is no reconciliation possible, and I’m as fine as anyone could be with that. That's not my goal, and I have no remorse or guilt about how it ended and I have never for a second doubted that it was the right choice for me.
Collateral damage
When I broke off contact, the hardest part was that I realized this would make it incredibly difficult to sustain my relationships with members of my extended family on my father's side. Although it pained me greatly, I made that sacrifice willingly thinking that that would be the end of it. At that point, it was about self-preservation and I was absolutely ruthless in guaranteeing myself freedom from his influence. Whatever it took, I was willing to do it. But, of course, it wasn’t going to end just like that as these things so rarely do. In my case, primarily because of my sister.
My sister has, historically, been chiefly on my side in all of this because she witnessed the abuse I suffered directly and was unable to prevent it despite numerous attempts at diplomacy. She carries a lot of guilt because of this, but at the same time, her and my father were always quite close. My father's abusive tendencies also targeted my sister but in a very different manner, and she is much more of a people pleaser kind of person than I ever was. Where I was routinely shamed, blamed and ridiculed, my father made her into a mother-figure and confidante meaning she's been his personal therapist ever since her teens. She resents him for this but her feelings are far more murky and ambivalent than mine, and despite her complaining about him and his behavior constantly even to this day, she hasn’t broken off contact with him because she wants her children to have a relationship with their grandfather. To me, that’s her choice and I’ve never criticized her for that regardless of how I feel his influence might come to harm my nieces and nephew.
My father and I have successfully avoided each other for 6 years and I think we're both quite terrified of the day that we meet. But as long as navigate around each other, that's not a problem.
The situation
Recently, my sister gave birth to her third child and the christening is set for August. Where I'm from, it's a big occasion where all family members (inner and extended) are invited along with friends and their significant others and children. And of course, my sister doesn't know what to do about me and our father because we haven't seen or talked to each other for 6 years. She knows exactly how I feel about him and that I don't want to be anywhere near him or ever see him or hear him talk again. In that, I have found peace, but my father is unwilling to accept that he will not be invited to the christening because I don't want him there and deeply upset about my sister originally not inviting him.
So, he's been emotionally pressuring/blackmailing my sister into inviting him. My sister has said to him that I'm the one who gets to be there if me and my father cannot agree that it is alright for the both of us to be there - somehow. She's told him that she thinks that he is supposed to be the mature one and that it's his responsibility to reach out and make amends with me, if he wants to be there for his granddaughter's christening. So, he said to her that he would reach out to me. My sister then texted me to tell me that my father might contact me because they'd had that conversation.
At first I didn't think he would contact me at all because he generally doesn't follow through on any promise he makes and he's a massive coward when it comes to dealing with me - or any conflict for that matter. But to my surprise, I received a text from him today that reads:
I'm reaching out because your sister has expressed that she wants the three of us [him, myself and his wife] at the christening and I was hoping that we could agree to being in the same room for this and future events. We don't have to shake hands or even talk, we just need to behave like adults. Kind regards...
Never mind that my sister has not expressed that she wants him and wife at the christening or how aggressive the tone of this message is, it has provoked way more emotions in me than I thought possible. I thought I was over it, but there's a lot of anger and to a lesser degree also sorrow and anxiety. Emotionally, I regret unblocking his number for this message deeply since it has left me in quite the state of emotional turmoil, but I also don't know what to do about the situation with the christening at hand. I've narrowed it down to three options:

1. I can tell my sister what reading his message did to me and that I'm clearly not able to cope with being anywhere near him seeing as I can't even read a message from him without imploding emotionally. That would mean she has to choose between us, and I don't want to put her in that position or risk antagonizing her and ruining our relationship. If I go down this path, I'm honestly afraid she'll consider me incredibly cowardly or suspect me of agitating the conflict on purpose. And then decide that I'm the one who won't get invited to the christening.
2. I could defy every emotion and instinct I have, try to man up and tell my father that we can both go as long as he keeps his distance and avoids talking to me or about me. I absolutely mean it when I say that I have no way of predicting exactly how I will react if he tries anything, but it could get very, very ugly as it has many times before. I won't know until it happens but I am definitely at risk of losing my temper and making a scene. Also, I find the idea of being at the christening with that many people around almost publicly humiliating (because they all know what's going on with me and him) and I feel like I'll be spending the entire day avoiding my father and his wife - and then, what even is the point of being there if I have to be hyper vigilant and anxious? I broke off contact with him exactly because I could no longer ignore my own feelings or downplay myself just in order to keep the peace. And on that promise to myself, I will not - under any circumstance and on my life - go back, so there's a real risk that it might end extremely badly.
3. I tell my sister that I'm simply not emotionally ready for this happen (every inch of my body is communicating this to me but I have only thought about it for one day so this might change). And then, I suggest that I'll pass this time and then me and my father can sort of take turns at participating in her events so we don't have to see each other and so she does not have to feel like she's caught in between or that she has to intervene or mediate between us (which, as she explains it, is actually the biggest issue for her). I'm not a big fan of this because I will have to "cede territory" to him and there's another, warrior-like part of me who is telling me hell no, you will cede nothing to this demon of a man and if he tries anything you'll [insert varying, non-violent vengeance fantasies]. But come the day I do not know if I'm strong enough to assert myself sufficiently to make him uncomfortable enough to avoid any future events. Keep in mind also that I'm dealing with a man who many suspect of being a sociopath, so... yeah, that's probably not a battle any wise person would take willingly.

I'm hoping for some advice on how to proceed. I don't have to decide for a while but my mind is going in circles and I'm caught somewhere in between self-pity and wild fury unable to make sense of what's happening in my head and heart.
Thanks in advance to anyone who took the time to read and respond.

Or so I have been told. Here’s some simple, short, albeit INSANE backstory first.
I (33f) was adopted at birth. My parents told me at the age of 4. Never had any issues with it. At 17 I got pregnant with my son, searched for bio family for medical reasons and due to pregnancy complications, never found anyone. At 19 I literally stumble upon my bio mom. Literally. I was working at a grocery store, customer thinks I look like his wife’s childhood friend, they tell the friend and friend mentions baby she gave up 19 years earlier that no one knew about. Fast forward a bit, it’s confirmed she’s my bio mom and I meet her, we try a relationship, she’s manipulative right from the beginning. I meet my sister and realize the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Distanced, but didn’t completely cut, myself from them. Would still see them on random occasions but I would talk to my sister more frequently via phone.
Sister gets married in like 2015. I’m invited to the wedding. I hesitate to go but sister wants me there very badly. It’s a backyard wedding at bio mom’s house but it’s beautiful nonetheless. Wasn’t too awkward since I met a lot of these people before throughout the years. I had my two kids in tow and had a good time.
Cut all ties within the next few years with bio mom as she crossed a major boundary of mine when she showed up at my parent’s house looking for me. I knew she did that on purpose, and I was already done with her bullshit. Didn’t see her again after that day. She would, however, randomly reach out via Facebook and such. I would not respond.
I cut ties officially with everyone when bio mom tried to have something to say about my new relationship after my divorce.
It’s been over 5 years since this happened. I have never even ran into them let alone heard their names. I’m casually shopping the other day and a woman approaches me and tells me I look just like her cousin “bio mom.” After my confirmation, she tells me she has met me before at my sisters wedding. She starts talking all about how bio mom has done horrible things to her in the past 9 years and I simply shared that I no longer associated with anyone. She then tells me that I was actually invited to my sisters wedding out of spite. I don’t care, but I was a bit confused so I entertained it. Apparently, bio sister invited me and it was supposed to be a slap in the face to me. She invited me as a way to brag that her mother kept her and not me. I laughed, loudly, because that is NOT the brag that she thinks it is. My parents were absolutely amazing. The best, to say the least, while my sister jumped between relatives for many different reasons. On one occasion when my sister met my parents, she cried to my mom that she wished they’d have been able to adopt her too. I’m not surprised. My older self is jealous of my younger self because of the life I lived lol. I wish I could do it again and again.
None of that actually bothers me. But the part that DOES is that apparently unbeknownst to me, while at the wedding, bio mom at one point asked this particular cousin of hers “how she did.” Cousin thought she was talking about the wedding, and told her it was beautiful. Bio mom then pointed to me and said “no, I mean with OP? She’s lovely isn’t she?” Cousin said she couldn’t believe it and actually replied “you had nothing to do with her and who she is and I think the way you’re parading her around here tonight is uncomfortable for many.” Bio mom then says something to the extent of, “well bio sister wanted her here because she wanted to show off our family and what she could have been a part of.”
Seriously? Maybe I’m just more sensitive to all of this because I just lost my beautiful, intelligent, loving, and kind mother in 2021, but how dare bio mom try to take any type of credit for who I became, or my bio sister think that I’d be comparing anything. I’m a grown adult, a professional, I don’t like pettiness and confrontation, AND maybe this cousin was just trying to tell a story for some reason, but part of me wants to unblock everyone and finally say everything I’ve wanted to for so long. I’m so mad that this has gotten so deep into my head.
Just needed to vent.

Warning: long post ahead!
Hi everyone! So this situation is probably the textbook definition of someone with an anxious attachment style. I already ended up cutting things off but would love your feedback/thoughts on the situation and what I did right or could have done better on.
So I met this guy on Grindr (I'm gay if it matters at all) and he mentioned that he was looking for chats, dates friends and fun/hookups. I said I was mainly looking for fun (I'm kind of abstaining from dating due to anxious attachment and wanting to work on myself a bit more to get it under control). We ended up meeting and I found him to be pretty dorky and charming (alongside his appearance) and I felt like the chemistry was there. The sex seemed a little more intimate than what I'd normally expect for a hookup. Lots of interlacing fingers/squeezing hands and intense eye contact (☠️) He insisted on dropping me off home afterwards and he seemed into me physically. Lots of staring and he said I was handsome and we just talked about work and seemed like a natural conversation between two people who got along well. Well when we got to my place he asked for my number and my Snap as well and that he wanted to see me again. Added each other and said to let me know when he was free next. He said yeah for sure and for the next 4 days radio silence lol. I could feel my anxious self kicking in and started getting the same feelings I got from the last guy I talked to, who was very avoidant and turned out to be a disaster. So I wrote a message saying that I could see myself catching feelings and that we shouldn't see each other again. For some reason, I thought that maybe I should give this a chance instead or sabotaging it so I switched the message to something along the lines of:
'Hey, I was wondering if you also wanted to maybe hangout as friends? I initially expected us to be FWB but after meeting I thought you were really warm, sweet and intelligent and I'd love to get to know you better in general.'
He responded saying that he'd be down for that and asked me how my week was. He also said that he was sorry that he was horrible at responding back because he didn't check Snap much and asked how my week was. I got really anxious and sent him a deadpan "I don't remember. Lol how was yours?" He just said he went to the gym, hike and hung out with friends. I asked him if texting would be better and he said yeah it would definitely be better. At this point, I'd been posting on my story to try and get his attention trying to show my personality a bit. I saw that he watched my recent story but didn't open my last message. This whole time he's been responding back to me pretty consistently around 5pm but I could see he would be online at other times and still not open my message until that time. I confided in my friends who said that someone saying they were a bad texter was a classic saying and that I was most likely a second option and to just block him. They also said that they felt like I was sending mixed signals and that it was most likely confusing him as well. I also felt like if a guy was really interested, he'd make the effort to meet again, which I didn't feel like was really happening. It all felt kinda too messy at that point so I just blocked him.
I recently read the book Attached a little while after this and it got down all this behavior to a tea. From the mind games, constant benefit of the doubt and trying to seem more distanced/cool than I actually was. Though I can't help but wonder if this was another form of self sabotage by doing this. It's kinda embarassing in retrospect but I'm just taking this as another learning experience. I want to unblock to apologize then block and disappear again but I feel like that's me indirectly wanting to keep trying to give this a chance and be on his mind so I'm trying not to and just commit to the decision I made. Regardless please let me know your thoughts and opinions. It would be much appreciated!

This park really gives carnival vibes, which is somewhat nice as it makes it feel very different from other amusement parks. I did find that how the tickets worked was a bit unclear like why did some rides have a kiosk to buy an individual ride, but other rides didn’t, unless I missed something? The operations aren’t great, Ravine Flyer II was running only one train, but Comet was running 2 for some reason. Everything had pretty long lines, mostly because of the low capacity of most rides. I arrived around 1, and left around 6, I just wasn’t having that much fun so I decided to leave early. I also feel like the park doesn’t make great use of the lake being right next to the park, the only time I saw it was on the lift of Ravine Flyer II. I wouldn’t recommend going to this park unless it’s just a stop of a few hours before going somewhere else.
5x Ravine Flyer II (#104) I had very high expectations for this, but I ended up being slightly disappointed. I think my expectations of the length of a woodie were affected by riding Beast and Voyage recently, so I found it to be very short. The first half is great, lots of airtime and laterals, but towards the end it loses a lot of speed and I found it to not do much at all. It was also somewhat rough, but not that bad. The back definitely provides more forces, but I prefer the front as it is smoother.
1x Comet (#105) It’s okay for a kids coaster, some nice pops of airtime here and there. I think this is the least restrictive lap bar I have ever seen on a coaster. It’s pretty much the same thing as those pirate ships ride, just a bar that’s like 1 foot above your thighs, anyone could get out of the cart fairly easily.
And so my trip comes to an end! I had an amazing time overall, I can’t wait to get back to some of the parks, I’ll probably be visiting just my home park for the rest of the year, so I can’t wait until my next trip in hopefully just a year now! I’ll be posting the early rankings of my new credits in the comments in case anyone is interested.

My (22M) ex(19F) cheated and broke up with me almost a year ago now. She cheated on me with a guy (28M) who is 9 years older than her and has a kid with his previous partner. My ex met this guy through me because I became friends with him through video games and eventually I believe he groomed her and then her head was turnt and chose him over me.
It’s been 10 months since the breakup and I still think about the situation everyday, some days less than others, but it’s always on my mind of how I was betrayed not only by my gf but by a friend too. I’m better now than what I was and I can look back at it and say that I think I’ve dodge a bullet. However, I hate that I still think about it. I hate that I sometimes unblock them and look at their post with each other. But, the last time I did look at their social media, I found out that my ex has put on weight and looks much bigger than before, and that she is wearing hats and black clothing, which I see a little bit of a win because it shows that she’s not as happy as she acts to be. I can see right through it.
I can’t imagine my ex being with this guy forever, but it still hurts that she seems “happy/happier” with him. And there’s always a voice in the back on my head saying she’s got a better person now. Which I don’t know if it’s true or not because I think I’m a genuine and nice guy and I helped that girl through some of her darkest times and I just feel like I’ve been used and she doesn’t care about the things I did for her.
I’ve got so much love to give but I’m scared that I won’t be able to show it anymore because I don’t know if I can trust anyone like that again. I think I’ll always be scared to be that open again. I feel like no one will appreciate me.
I just needed to write this out and hopefully get some reassurance so that my mind can be at ease again.

My (22M) ex(19F) cheated and broke up with me almost a year ago now. She cheated on me with a guy (28M) who is 9 years older than her and has a kid with his previous partner. My ex met this guy through me because I became friends with him through video games and eventually I believe he groomed her and then her head was turnt and chose him over me.
It’s been 10 months since the breakup and I still think about the situation everyday, some days less than others, but it’s always on my mind of how I was betrayed not only by my gf but by a friend too. I’m better now than what I was and I can look back at it and say that I think I’ve dodge a bullet. However, I hate that I still think about it. I hate that I sometimes unblock them and look at their post with each other. But, the last time I did look at their social media, I found out that my ex has put on weight and looks much bigger than before, and that she is wearing hats and black clothing, which I see a little bit of a win because it shows that she’s not as happy as she acts to be. I can see right through it.
I can’t imagine my ex being with this guy forever, but it still hurts that she seems “happy/happier” with him. And there’s always a voice in the back on my head saying she’s got a better person now. Which I don’t know if it’s true or not because I think I’m a genuine and nice guy and I helped that girl through some of her darkest times and I just feel like I’ve been used and she doesn’t care about the things I did for her.
I’ve got so much love to give but I’m scared that I won’t be able to show it anymore because I don’t know if I can trust anyone like that again. I think I’ll always be scared to be that open again. I feel like no one will appreciate me.
I just needed to write this out and hopefully get some reassurance so that my mind can be at ease again.

My (22M) ex(19F) cheated and broke up with me almost a year ago now. She cheated on me with a guy (28M) who is 9 years older than her and has a kid with his previous partner. My ex met this guy through me because I became friends with him through video games and eventually I believe he groomed her and then her head was turnt and chose him over me.
It’s been 10 months since the breakup and I still think about the situation everyday, some days less than others, but it’s always on my mind of how I was betrayed not only by my gf but by a friend too. I’m better now than what I was and I can look back at it and say that I think I’ve dodge a bullet. However, I hate that I still think about it. I hate that I sometimes unblock them and look at their post with each other. But, the last time I did look at their social media, I found out that my ex has put on weight and looks much bigger than before, and that she is wearing hats and black clothing, which I see a little bit of a win because it shows that she’s not as happy as she acts to be. I can see right through it.
I can’t imagine my ex being with this guy forever, but it still hurts that she seems “happy/happier” with him. And there’s always a voice in the back on my head saying she’s got a better person now. Which I don’t know if it’s true or not because I think I’m a genuine and nice guy and I helped that girl through some of her darkest times and I just feel like I’ve been used and she doesn’t care about the things I did for her.
I’ve got so much love to give but I’m scared that I won’t be able to show it anymore because I don’t know if I can trust anyone like that again. I think I’ll always be scared to be that open again. I feel like no one will appreciate me.
I just needed to write this out and hopefully get some reassurance so that my mind can be at ease again.

You wanna know what really sucks for me when it comes to roleplaying on Deviantart? Is that I keep ending up with roleplayers that are one sided. It's really tiring for the fact that no one's never read my ad and/or at least never try my ideas for once! Here's some few for example.

1. What happened first is this one rper kept constantly pushing me to do multiple characters and rp at a time and I was getting pretty drained out when I told them that I'm tired and can't keep up and he was like "ok I won't try to keep doing multiple rps." Then he went back doing it again when I tell him that I'm tired of doing multiple rps. So I just stopped roleplaying with him after all of those roleplays as characters to entertain them.
   
2. Then theirs another rper I'd rp with that expect me to do all of their ideas all the time, which is like 4 ideas of Danganronpa roleplay on the table. In OOC, I told them if you wanna try out my ideas (I may be kinda bad which I'm admitting that I'm not looking for something serious in roleplay, but doing it as a fun hobby.) and they was like "no, I'm not interested." And/or just "maybe". So like a week or two, I did all of their ideas and when I asked them to try out my ideas OOC, and they're still refusing to do my ideas, which is really sucks and not fair to me that I did all of their ideas, but not mines! So I talk to them about it and they just say "and I apologize." It just sounds so half heart that they didn't really care about how I feel about trying their ideas all the time, so I just decided to tell them that I just don't think we're a good match in roleplaying since they clearly don't care. After that, they just went silent on me, but didn't block me on Deviantart like if they're mad that I don't wanna roleplay with them anymore and do their ideas all the time, but not mines.
   
3. And then another bad roleplay experience is with another roleplay that was like a year ago. How it went down is that we do rps for like a month or two about video game character and franchises that we know like Tekken for example. The roleplays are pretty good, but issues was OOC. Everytime I tried to communicate with them, the conversations is always about them. I tried to get some advice on how to be a bit more detail, but not too perfect or anything like that, and they just say "can I please go back to what I was going to say?" And just straight up ignore my question. I got a bit angry to the point that I say "you know what, nevermind." And just blocked them after how they took me for granted. (Again, this was last year at the time where my bad experience roleplaying on Deviantart) after a month, I unblocked them and they sent me a message on how they was really sorry for taking me for granted and I forgive them, but I decided to not wanna rp with them anymore as I thought to myself even if they apologize, they'll do it again.
   

Sorry if most of them don't make sense on what I've been through in Deviantart and I'm admitting that I may be in the wrong on some experiences, but I'm just tired of ending up with people that expects me to do things their way all the time, never reading my ad, and expects me to entertain them. It was so bad last year that I was this close into quitting Deviantart because of it, but I decided to still stay and push myself to keep going. So now things are all fine since I've been on Deviantart for a year and still active. And sorry for all the venting, it's just something to let it all out. All I'm asking for is literally some roleplaying we can right for fun, nothing too serious.

Edit: Smashed it! There was an icon in the task bar apparently meant to look like a computer connected via Ethernet. I clicked that and saw that WiFi was unchecked. I checked it and the WiFi connection is now established.
It puzzles me that I cannot find this in Settings. Or that this checkbox is not replicated in Settings. Or that going to Application Launcher and typing in "network" does not find this.
(Not so) Good morning, I've lost WiFi on my laptop and can't figure out how to get it back.
Shaggy Dog Story:
Debian Bookworm using Plasma 5.27
Wife needed to log in while out of town. I created an account for her and logged her in. WiFi worked for a bit and then stopped. I opened settings and it asked for a password. I typed her password in and that was not accepted.
Next I logged back into my account and went to settings. The SSID is listed and the password is correct. I can't find any way to actually establish the connection. I started working with cli since I could not seem to figure out the Plasma settings.
iwlist scanning reports
text wlp2s0 Interface doesn't support scanning : Network is down
I tried ip link set wlp2s0 up to bring WiFi up and got
text RTNETLINK answers: Operation not possible due to RF-kill
I searched on that and found that I needed to use rfkill to enable WiFi rfkill is not installed so I installed it and unblocked the WiFi radio. nmcli lists the AP
text elided_AP_Name 74b787db-e857-4904-9d99-7f5e0b99ccfa wifi --
But I cannot see how to connect. Trying nmcli I get
text root@rocinante:~# nmcli con up elided_AP_Name Error: Connection activation failed: No suitable device found for this connection (device wlp2s0 not available because device is not available). root@rocinante:~#
Any help is greatly appreciated. In the mean time I'm tethered to Ethernet. :-/
Thanks!
Edit: I'm presuming that this should be trivially easy so I suspect that either something is misconfigured or missing. (For now I prefer to rule out the possibility that I'm stupid.)

Hi! (heads up this isnt a short post, its a little longer than i intended but i like to ramble lol)
I guess just an explanation to my situation. So I've had pet mice a few times, previously was maybe 5-6 years ago. I recently got 2 mice just over a month ago. I got 2 boys, they are brothers and lived together since the litter. They both get along super well, with the occasional territorial/dominance nip. (fyi no-one gets injured, they just chase each other a little squeaking at each other assumingly because one thinks they're alpha or they're feeling territorial)
anyways, i've got a chocolate brown mouse, his name is Halley (pronounced Harley), he is super sweet! he is always super friendly and curious when i have my hand in the cage, he likes to explore when hes either in my hand or on my shoulder. he doesnt get scared when i pick him up and hes usually pretty happy to see me when hes awake.
then his brother, which is like a white snow tiger, his name is comet, he's a bit of an anxious mouse. whenever he is awake having food, water or is doing his own thing, if i walk past the cage, or put my hand resting on top of the cage, he will go lightning speed to hide away, he will scatter wherever he can. when i put my hand in the cage to allow him to investigate my hand or even try and walk over it, usually he stands partially hidden watching me, occasionally he may check my hand out but its rare, im trying to be very patient with him but i feel likewhat im doing isnt doing anything for him. i dont know if this is something i can change and its just his personality, but he just doesnt like me going near the cage, or even trying to gently scoop him up. he just freaks out when i do. now when i do hold him, ill put a tunnel in front of him, ill pick him up in that and then allow for him to crawl into my hands when hes ready. once settled down he tends to explore when in my hands/arms or on my shoulder. then he seems totally fine. however i did notice when i tried to scoop him from my shoulder to put him back in the cage he still tried to scatter the opposite way of my hand to prevent picking him up from my body. ive tried handing treats or trying to get him to take treats out of my hand, but hes usually not interested. i think hes having a hard time in trusting me. i usually pick halley up first and show comet that im not going to hurt them and that its okay, but yeah i dont know.
im at a bit of a lost on what to do? should i just stop picking him up for now and just allow him to investigate my hand when he feels safe to do so? and just continue to pick up halley so it shows him that im trustworthy? how long will it take for him to be comfortable with me being around the cage/my hand being in the cage. is there maybe any really good treat that mice really love that'll maybe entice/interest him more?
I obviously want them to be happy and from what i can see they are pretty happy, they like to dig around, they have the zoomies around the cage full of fun things and lots of hiding/cozy spaces to go. they have a constant source of food and water
(their food is in like a hollow cube like thing with squares where they have to pull their food out of it as a way to keep them entertained/enriched and also makes them work for their food. i do sometimes hide treats and their food in different places so its a little surprise for them and incase they somehow cant get to their food?) but im consistently checking the cage and their access to things to make sure they can keep healthy)

Back story, I've known this girl (F24) since we were kids, same elementary school, middle school, talked throughout highschool although at different areas, talked throughout college, going to events and doing normal things together and stayed connected until late February of last year, I honestly consider her my best friend in the whole world (no best female friend, guy friend bs), I've meet and befriended and worked alongside her mom where she took a chance and hired me because she knew I've been friends with her daughter for a long time, I've come to know her sister and became kinda close, picked her up from school and drove her around when needed, never met her dad as he's always outside the nation on business trips, but was still will acquented with the family and some extended members as well, we gone through arguments and all kinds of trouble and secrets that we would keep from her parents as they are a bit strict even up to our mid 20's (Latin households be like that) or in other words, we would continue to act like kids when we were talking or hanging with one another but just as adults now
Regardless mid 2022 I've began having feelings for her as I began to realize the history we had and fell in love with her charm, It was the biggest deal for me because I knew she had a bad habit of being stubborn and once she had her mind set or became accustomed to something, she wants it to stay like that forever, so I knew it was going to be an uphill challenge but I had to tell her something
So we would always have a joke on holidays to give each other gifts and act as if we were a married couple, so come February 2023, after almost a year after she broke up with her ex, I decide to shoot my shot and I try to give her a valentine's day gift with a note inside asking her if she would like to go out with me, things get delayed but unfortunately she didnt have time to meet with me till the last week of February where it'll be the last time I could see her before my work (I now work at a different job at the time) starts becoming my life everyday, I couldn't meet her then and handed it off to her mom to give to her (they both work near each other at different facilities), I get a text from her later that she got the gift and will check it out later after getting home, anxiously waiting I tell her to enjoy it and that I remind her that I left a note, hours go by and no response, a day goes by and nothing, weeks become a month and literally my worst nightmare came true, she's cut me off, before I go into full panic mode, she has done this before, she would go a few days or weeks without communication on any social media or even friends because she's stressed and it's never anything good as she's done it with her grand parents dying, parents getting screwed over on taxes, lots of debt that her family has and she has to work to help them with it, etc etc, so I'm patient and wait it out copeing that things work out in the end, 2 months go by and by then I've sent her many messages asking if everything is alright (at this point I don't even bring up the note or care about it and I much rather pretend I've never sent it if it means I can still talk to her) but nothing, another few months goes by and it's now her birthday, I stopped texting her after 2 months and I mailed a gift with a note, this is my last method of contact with her cause I whole heartedly believe that I've been turned down in the worst way imaginable, I tell her no matter what I'm always going to be her friend and that the years we spent together were the best memories I will keep forever and that I value her company and time she shared with me
She isn't a cold hearted ass, I know her well enough to know that, it's just the whole cut off situation that got me by surprise, she would tell me something even if it were something insignificant or dumb, but this response just devastated me till now, and im finally ready to move away from this
It's been 15 months since she cut me off, I deleted my social media because I literally only kept it to talk to her and one other friend, only decided so after seeing an update on her page deleting me from her posts and her sister posting that they are having a great time together
Seeing her hurts so I hope it's understandable, I'm glad I told her cause I always read stories on how people regret never asking the one they like out as they would never know if it could of worked out or not, and unfortunately in my situation I got the bitter end of the stick, I know that what she did is an asshole move, it makes me mad sometimes thinking about it but then I know that I can't stay mad cause she treated me well over the years and that kindness she shared with me almost excuses it.
Her birthday is next month, Ive had Google events that I shared with her over the next few years that we would do together such as see Haileys comet when we are old, conventions, planned meet ups, and I'm just erasing them all, I'll block her phone number after posting this cause it makes me a little sick thinking about her, i dont even know what ill say if she trys to talk to me again, i just know that i wont want to respond
I doubt she'll ever see this, but N. If you are
Be good

Chapter 14

Log. 19500.k I have sent a complaint to The Great Government. “Why isn’t anything being done about the virus? People are losing their memories from the Cloud and you are not doing anything about it! You need to take responsibility, after all, you forced us to change bodies.” We await for an answer.
The electric wheelchair invaded Tovu’s nightmares over and over. He could feel the cold, metallic arms holding him so tight it hurt, he saw the wheels turning into blades and mangling what was left of his body, the arms ripping his stomach open and spreading his guts all over the floor.
He woke up scared, screaming, darkness surrounded him and it was difficult to know whether he was still stuck in the nightmare or not. The nurses tried to calm him down, even gave him some drugs, but nothing would make his mind relax enough to even consider the manual wheelchair.
Nothing except Koira’s voice. She didn’t tell anyone else Tovu had been sent to kill her, that would be a death sentence for him — the Underground people wouldn’t kill him, but they would leave him up there on the craters to die.
— Hey, Tovu. — Koira opened the door to find a lump under the blankets. — The nurses said I’m giving ya nightmares.
— I’m sure you’re having fun with it. — he mumbled from under the blankets.
— Oi, that’d make me a horrible person. — She sat on the chair beside his bed. — I don’t like ya, but I don’t hate ya. Not enough to give ya endless nightmares, anyway. Wanna talk about it?
— No.
— Nightmares are just like wishes, both follow the same rule: they don’t happen if ya tell. — She waited for an answer that never came. — I’m sorry. I didn’t think the electric chair would scare ya so much, because it’s kind of like a…
— Immortal. — he interrupted her.
— I was going to say car. Have ya ever met an Immortal?
— I was offered. Before I was left in Sand City.
— Oh.
— I don’t like cars. Never been in one.
Silence filled the room as Tovu mourned his childhood and Koira was looking for a solution. She had been quite busy working on braces for a little kid, but she could make some time, try to adapt a manual wheelchair for the one-handed man. It wouldn’t be easy on him, but at least he could have some autonomy.
Koira got up out of the blue and Tovu flinched under the blankets. She walked out of the room, stopped by the door, walked back in, and touched what she hoped was his shoulder:
— I have an idea, whether or not it’ll work, well, I suppose we’ll find out later. Don’t forget to eat, and think about the prosthetics. Bye!
This time she walked away and didn’t come back.
Log. 19468.g Apparently the news have spread. People are getting more nervous. There are reports of fights and several people have been taken to hospitals. Well, I find it all quite convenient. That way, Robot Physicians can activate the viruses. It may be just another conspiratorial thought, but I think that this could be fake news to create chaos and distrust.
Ganen woke up slowly, she felt like a fly trapped in honey. Her body was all sore, the texture under her hands wasn’t grass or fabric. She opened her eyes and the view paralysed her in the same instant: the texture was bark; she was on top of a tree. The woman blinked a few times, took a deep breath, she was wide awake alright.
When Ganen looked down, the world spun too fast for a second; she had no idea how high she had climbed, but at least the memories were coming back. She felt the rope tied around her waist a few times, enough to secure her up the tree, and thanked her years of exploring for making things like that instinctive. If she had slept there without the rope, she would be dead, there was no doubt about it.
— Séra? — she called. — Where are you?
— Down here! — Séra’s voice was so far away, metres and metres below Ganen. — Oi, how did ya get up there?
— I guess I climbed? — She let out a nervous laugh. — Can you help me down?
— Of course, love. — Séra looked for something she could use; she had the right intentions, but none of the tools.
— Hold the rope! — Ganen started to untie herself and hoped it was long enough. Now that she was moving, it was impossible to ignore how painful her arm was. But focusing on the pain was good, at least it avoided her from freaking out. — Did you get it?
— Yah! Come on, I’m holding ya!
There was no other option, so Ganen breathed in and out, and started going down the tree. Séra let the rope go up slowly, she followed the rhythm of the woman’s steps, and prayed to the universe there weren’t any spiders or other dangerous creepers crawling on the tree.
Time seemed to slow down, she wasn’t as strong as before yet, and her arms were shaking with Ganen’s weight. Séra remembered some stupid idea of getting the clouds out of the sky, she remembered being too afraid to climb. If she was being honest, helping Ganen like that was giving her a sense of deja vu.
— Almost there, love, just a bit more.
Ganen nodded from above and kept going down, one step at a time. She repeated to herself she was used to heights, some of the tree paths were tall enough one could barely see the ground; “But they are safe”, she added to her thoughts.
And when she least expected, Séra wrapped her arms around her, and rested her head on Ganen’s hair.
— Love, you’re down, you’re here, I was so scared! I was trying to keep it cool, but, oi, I was…
— Me too, hun. — Ganen felt herself melt in the arms of the woman she loved so much. — Me too.
Holding onto each other, the women just breathed for a long time until their hearts were calm once again.
-– Okay. — Ganen then said. — I think we should go back to camp and check on our things. AND — she added — we’re not having mushrooms again. My stomach is a mess.
— Oh! Yah, that makes sense. Do ya think we got high?
—Honey, I'm sure we got high. — Ganen sounded a bit angry. — I’m just glad I remember stuff this time.
— Are ya upset with me? — Séra asked, her eyes down to the floor.
— No, hun, no, that’s not what I meant! — Ganen smiled and held her hands. — It’s not like you did it on purpose, and I also looked at the mushrooms and thought they were safe. If any of us are guilty, we both are. Let’s just avoid them next time. — She laughed.
Séra smiled again; she had been feeling insecure and anxious since the incident with Ori, and her need for approval was almost physiological. Holding hands with Ganen helped, it was good to be cherished, not scorned.
What she didn’t notice, however, was that Ganen was a bit nervous. Her eyes darted from one tree to the other, and all looked the same. She didn’t even remember seeing trees that tall when they got in with the car.
Following that train of thought, Ganen got to two options: they had either taken a different direction, or went too deep in those woods. Both of them were bad.
— Séra… — Ganen stopped walking.
— Uhm? — The woman looked at her, a mix of confusion and preoccupation.
— I think we’re lost.
Séra stared at her in silence for a moment. Then she looked around, at the trees, at sky so high above, at the ground with no footprints. In Sand City, people always carried a flare when they left town, and there were watchers within the walls ready to shoot a flare back, to avoid losing lives to the endless sands. She even felt her pockets for a one, but there were none, of course.
— What I was taught is, when lost, get to a high place, and try to find a path. — Ganen interrupted her thoughts. — But I’ve just got back to the ground, I didn’t want to climb again. — She made a crying face; her arm was still sore and she was afraid of checking if all the stitches were still in the right place.
— And I’m sort of afraid of heights.
— Yeah… Let us rest our arms a bit more, then you help me climb like we did to get me down, can it be?
— Sounds like a plan.
— Gosh, we’re soooo not using any kind of drugs again! — Ganen laughed to hide how anxious she was. She could almost hear her own heart racing in her chest, ready to jump out.
— Hey, what if I try to climb this time? — Séra looked at Ganen’s arm; the bandages weren’t red last night.
— No, don’t worry, I can do it.
— But your arm is…
Then Ganen had to look. She was unwilling to remove the bandages, she knew it was hurting, but now she had to check and, as she expected, some of the stitches had come off.
— Welp, that’s why it’s hurting. But, Séra, there’s nothing we can do about it now, so let’s rest, then you help me up again, and I find our way.
Séra was forced to agree, and started looking for a place to sit.
Log. 19457.h Some scientists say Comet Treiny will hit Gaya. They say Gaya's orbit has changed by a few millimetres in the past four centuries and this will influence the comet's route. They want to use weapons in satellites to destroy the comet and avoid any risks. The Great Government’s in the process of evaluating the results; a young woman from the Group showed me the numbers and graphs, but it’s not a subject I understand. Although I understand about the human body and understand more than most people about our inorganic bodies, I don't understand anything about physics, let alone physics in space. But it’s true that both routes look different, I can’t deny that.
Koira had stayed up all night; the city lights were turning on when she crawled to bed. But even if she had laid down before, she wouldn’t have slept: a great idea hit her at the very moment her head touched the pillow, and she was forced to get up and put it in action.
Which was good, because she had spent the last two days working on a manual wheelchair for Tovu, which was kind of a challenge. Now, however, the braces were ready, they had an awesome and adjustable knee joint, designed to limit how far the knees bent until the kid’s legs were strong enough to do it alone.
She was satisfied with her work, it was a piece of art, and, most importantly, it was comfortable. The kid — a little 6-year old boy — had complained the last ones hurt his legs, the plastic parts chafed to his skin as he tried to walk, and they were a hassle to remove, but she had high hopes for the new ones.
— Later. — she whispered to herself. — I’m sure he can wait a few more hours.
Destiny, however, had other plans. Not long before she closed her eyes, someone started knocking on her door and calling her name. She grunted, tried to hide her head under the blankets, but one of her cats jumped on top of her ribs and she let out a small scream.
– I know you’re in there! Open up or I’ll let myself in!
— Just come in! — Koira screamed back as she got up and looked for some trousers or shorts.
Qena walked into Koira’s house and found her half-dressed in her bedroom. The woman’s eyes betrayed her exhaustion and the messed up hair completed the story in details.
— Have you just got out of bed? — Qena raised one brow, surprised and a bit disappointed.
— Oi, shut up. — Koira yawned. — I was finishing that all night long. — She pointed at the braces. — I had a brainwave last night, had to make it.
— Do you think that’s the final version? — The judging eyes softened as she walked to the leg braces. — They look so good, I’d wear them just for fashion.
— Ya have a weird taste. — Koira laughed.
— Maybe that’s why we’re best friends. — Qena gave her the most innocent and treacherous smile; something only she could do. — Come on, let’s test those with Ryth, then I’ll let you sleep as much as you want.
— Yah… that sounds good. Oi! Let’s take Tovu’s wheelchair as well, I’m not sure how he’ll use it, but, eh, guess we’ll find out.
The city lights imitated the outside with perfection, and weren’t too bright; the day was young and hopeful. Koira really wanted Tovu to at least test the chair; she hated having her creations scorned like that. Also, she wouldn’t admit it, given the circumstances, but knowing Tovu had been offered to an Immortal as a child made her feel a bit guilty about the electrical chair.
The streets in the Underground City were the best she had ever seen, the cars were driven around with ease. Geothermal energy was harnessed from deep wells further east, and there were wind energy poles in a valley a few days south; energy was a basic need in the Underground City, and now Koira understood it.
All houses had electrical lights, wall sockets, almost everyone had datapads, radio communication devices — comms, for short —, no one was afraid of technology or photographs, children were learning how to build and create mechanical tools at school, and the hospital was incredible!
The innovations in prosthetics called to her the moment she visited the lab. Or, as she liked to call it, the human garage — no one else shared her naming conventions. She had learnt so much these past few years, her only regret was leaving Séra behind. If the city hadn’t threatened to kill her on sight, she would have travelled back to get her.
None of her letters ever had answers, but she would rather think Séra hated her for leaving, and was so happy with Treiny’s family that she wouldn't even want to read them. Any other thought scared her too much.
Qena woke Koira up, and she mumbled something about burning papers. She looked at Qena, completely lost for a second, then the gears in her brain started working.
— Did we put the legs and the chair in the car? — she asked, almost wishing they hadn’t, just so that she could sleep a bit more.
— Yes. Come on, we gotta test those braces, Ryth’s been waiting for months now.
— I know, I know. — Koira let out a long loud yawn.
— I’m glad you have wonderful ideas, but they could hit you during office hours, no? — Qena said as she unfolded the wheelchair on the floor and put the leg braces on top of it. — Come on, hurry up. — With a smile, she offered one arm to the sleepy-eyed woman, and both walked into the hospital.
Koira grunted and let herself be taken around by Qena. The place was big and she felt like she walked through a thousand corridors before getting to Ryth’s room. The small boy, with curly dark hair and withered legs, was having breakfast on his bed, and opened a huge smile as he saw them.
— Auntie Koira! Are those for me?
— I hope so. — She laughed; seeing a child this happy could heal anything. She still needed to sleep, though. — Finish your breakfast and we can try them.
Ryth ate as fast as he could, even after they told him to eat more slowly, and soon, he was waving his legs on the bed while Qena tried to hold him still so Koira could attach the braces. After what seemed like eternity to her tired and sore fingers, the braces were on, and the boy was on the floor.
— Now, walk around a bit, eh? — Koira said.
At first, she walked with him and the doctor, so that they could adjust the knee joints, but after a few minutes, Ryth could move from one side to the other with ease.
— That’s good progress, Ryth. — his doctor cheered. — And it looks so cool!
— It looks super duper awesome! — The boy waved his arms.
— Let’s test them for a while, then give auntie Koira our feedback, okay?
— Okay. — Ryth sulked a bit; he had been through that enough in the past months to know what was next: — Therapy?
— Physiotherapy, yes.
— Fine. — The boy crossed his arms, trying to imitate an adult’s movement, and pouted. He didn’t like it. He always got tired at the end of it. And sore.
— Call me if ya need anything, yah? — Koira asked; her curiosity was the only thing keeping her awake.
— I’ll be sure of it. Now you should go home and get some sleep. — The doctor laughed. — Doctor’s orders.
— And they shall be followed. Qena, my dear, would ya be so lovely as to drive me home?
— Yes, I would. Or else you’d sleep right here, right now. Just show me how to use the chair, so I can teach the Sand guy.
Koira nodded; she could already feel the soft cotton pillow case against her face.
Log. 19337.s There are great programmers in the Group. Great hackers too. They said they’ll help me search for the origin of the virus. I hadn’t thought about discovering its origin, only about fighting it. But if we know where it comes from, we can fight against the source directly and prevent it from becoming a global problem! That is, if it’s not already a global problem...
While they were resting, Ganen remade the bandages on her arm and prepared herself to climb the tree. She waited for Séra to get up, then told her to hold the rope so that she could have at least some sort of safety as she was climbing.
Throwing the rope over a tall branch took quite a while, Séra needed to gather her strength to throw it that high, but once it was tied safely around her thighs, Ganen walked to the tree and looked up; it would take a while.
— Séra, hun, do you have anything with you? Anything I could, uhm, lemme think, tie on the rope and throw down, so we can mark the right direction?
— I… will check. — She started putting her hands in her pockets and looking for something. — That’s a lot of thinking. Have I told ya you’re quite smart?
— Ah, yeah, well, not my first time. — She smiled, a bit embarrassed.
— I don’t think I have anything… — Séra looked down. — Will a shoe do?
— It’ll do nicely. — Ganen thanked her.
She tied the shoe-lace around the belt loop and prepared to go up. Ganen looked at her arm one last time, and tried not to think of how painful it was. However, the tiniest pull made her wince. And Séra couldn’t bare to watch it.
As much as she was afraid of being that far from the ground, she was worried about her lover. Just like Ganen, Séra wasn’t at full strength, but she was quite sure it would be easier for her to climb instead of the woman who had a knife through her arm less than two weeks ago. She stopped Ganen before she could try a second time.
— I’ll do it. — Séra put a hand on her shoulder. — Just… give me directions, yah?
— Are you sure? I… I… My arm’s still hurt, but I’ll just go a bit slowly. — “I can’t hold you if you fall”, she failed to say.
— I’ll go slowly too. I hope I can hear ya from up there. — She started getting her shoe back from Ganen’s waist. — Can I take one of yours?
— No, no, no, stop that! You said you were afraid, you don’t have to do it!
— Love. — Séra held her hands. — Ya saved my life again and again. Lemme repay ya at least a bit.
— You know you don’t have to, that’s not how things work, right? — She tried to deny still.
— Come on, just lemme do it. — Séra got serious. — Your arm is so hurt, if ya climb this again, it’ll hurt even more. I won’t fall.
Ganen took a deep breath, then let it out in a resigned huff. There was no winning in that, and she had to admit Séra was right. Climbing that tree would only make her condition worse, it could even harm her arm even further.
— Fine. — She gave Séra one of her shoes, took off the ropes around her legs, and helped the woman wear them.
— I’m so glad we caught rope.
— Me too. I think it was because we wanted to see if it was possible to climb a cloud. — Ganen couldn’t help but laugh.
— Oi, what a stupid idea! — Séra adjusted some knots to make it a bit more comfortable. — So, what do I do now?
— Pay attention on where you put your hands, try not to touch living things. If you get scared, try your best not to panic, and move away slowly. Always check if a branch if strong enough to support you, I’ll try to tell you the best ones.
— Okay… Hands, don’t panic, test branch.
— And once you’re up there and can see where we need to go, you throw me the shoe, and we’ll try to point it to the right way.
— Hands, don’t panic, test branch, shoe. Okay, got it, let’s go before I chicken out.
Séra slapped her face with both hands and took a deep breath. The first branches weren’t low enough, so she had to hold onto the tree and try to find places she could put her feet on. Ganen pulled her up one bit at a time; while the mechanic was able to pull her with her arms, the scholar had to use her whole body and walk away to find enough strength and pull the rope.
Reaching the first branch was a success, a moment to be celebrated before acknowledging there were plenty more to climb. It was a difficult task and Séra did her best to listen to Ganen without looking down. She was certain she would freeze the moment the ground got further away.
Eyes focused on the crown, Séra grabbed a branch to her right — the one Ganen told her to — and felt the slight push of the rope around her. With a deep breath, the woman pushed herself up and kept going. Once she got a rhythm, things started to become a bit easier; testing the branches wasn’t so scary, and as she went higher, the tree offered much more support.
Until her hand touched something strange. It wasn’t bark, it could be some weird tree sap, maybe even some gross dangerous goo animal thing. Ganen asked something when Séra stopped, but they were too far to understand it well. The woman took a deep breath, repeated to herself she couldn’t panic, then she pulled her shaky hand back, millimetre by millimetre.
There was something between her fingers, some kind of goo, it was sticky and didn’t smell good. She tried not to think much about it, hoped it wasn’t venomous. She just cleaned her hand on her pants and started looking for another branch.
It felt like hours, days had gone by, and even though she wasn’t as slow as she thought, Séra felt stuck in the same place. The bark too close to her eyes was always the same, only the lichens promised her she was moving.
Smaller branches full of green leaves crowded her vision and made it difficult to find good support, “But maybe that means I’m getting closer”, Séra thought. And she was right. A few more steps took her high enough to push her head against the leaves and find the timid sky.
She basked in the sunlight for a few minutes, her arms and legs were shaking from the effort and fear, and the gentle breeze kissed her sweaty skin as a long lost lover.
— Okay, time to look for a way out.
At first, all she saw was a sea of green. Luxurious, glossy, beautiful green. Growing up in the desert, green was rare. It could be found underground and in the agave leaves, but green like the one she was seeing was new. For a moment, she even forgot what she was supposed to do, and just appreciated the view.
Mountains painted the east until the horizon, and if she squeezed her eyes tight enough, she could imagine the desert far north. The river which fed Bridge City shimmered northeast, but something else also caught her eyes: a very constant sparkle to the west.
Séra squeezed her eyes, put her hands on her forehead, to get some shade, and there it was. The car.
— I FOUND IT! — she screamed at the top of her lungs. — GANEN, I FOUND IT!!
There was no intelligible answer, which was expected, so, very careful as to not let it fall, Séra untied Ganen’s shoe from her trousers. Then she paused. She was supposed to tie it on the rope and throw it down, but the only rope they had was the one keeping her safe.
— Oh no, what now? I could hold the tree very tight, but… Uhm… Oh! I can tie the rope around myself, like Ganen did, it’s long enough.
Some weeks ago, before they got to Bridge City, they talked about cutting the rope in 5-metre pieces, so it would be easier to use. She was glad they hadn’t done it. She started pulling the rope and there was some resistance at first — Ganen was holding it —, but after a few more pulls, it came up easily.
Séra took her time to tie herself to the tree, and tried not to think how horrible her death would be if she fell, then she tied the shoe to the other end and threw it down. She had to break a branch to dislodge the shoe the times it got stuck, but in the end, she was happy to see the rope going down with no problems.
On the ground, Ganen heard a thud and her heart stopped. She looked around, scared and nervous, and almost fainted in relief when she saw the shoe. She looked up and tried to find Séra up there, which took quite some time, but once the woman pointed the right direction, Ganen untied the shoe and left it indicating the way.
Once again the rope went up, Séra untied herself, and let the rope down over a branch, as it was before; she had some trouble getting it below the see of baby branches, and almost fell in the process. As much as she was trying not to worry Ganen, she couldn’t help but scream when twig under her feet broke.
— I’M FINE! — She screamed back, once she found support again. — At least I’m a bit lower now…
Finding a silver lining in that situation wasn’t easy.
Once Ganen gave it some pulls to let her know she had the rope in hands, Séra started going down. It was a bit easier then going up, gravity helped a lot. She tried using the same branches as before, even though it was almost impossible to remember which ones they were.
Ganen was holding the rope with one arm and her whole body; her left was painful now, it hadn’t got better, but she was doing her best to help Séra and hold her up — even though she was the cause of a few scares in the process.
Once both of them were back on the ground, Séra hugged her lover tight; it was good to be back. The whole thing was a mix of emotions, the view from so high up was stunning, but getting up there was terrifying.
— How about you teach me how to climb and I teach you how to drive? — she whispered, breathless and tired.
— Once my arm is healed, yeah, we can climb together. — Ganen nodded a few times. — Let’s go before we get lost again, come on, hun.
Séra kept her lover between her arms a bit longer, then took a step back; the car wasn’t as close as they had thought.
Hey, Bekah here! If you feel like supporting me, you can subscribe to my Patreon, or leave me a tip on Ko-fi!

Both 20 and each other firsts, been together for 3 years.
Its been 7/8 months after BU. And we are NC since january. I was obsessively contacting her and love/hate bombing her, I was in fact the desperate ex for 1.5/2 months.
We were supposed to meet decembejanuary to make out/have sex. Until she said maybe it would be better not because it would be bad for me etc. And so we didn't meet.
But in midst of it all she mentioned how she had sex with 2 guys and how she was thinking of me and how with me is so different and good. My guts turned upside down. Just after a month of being broken up she did that. Justifying it by saying how everyone moves on differently.
And for some reason i still stayed in contact and still had strong feelings towards her, even though she said that with the intention to hurt me. Couple of days later i get drunk call her to apologize as I again love/hate bombed her. And after about 30 mins of us talking a guy next to her picks up the phone and tells me how he is better etc etc and she agrees on it. And how bad I am (sex wise and mentally)
After that i called her a W word and never spoke to her again, blocked her everwhere. (Later on unblocked her just to tell her sorry for calling her that cause even though she deserves it i shouldn't have said it tbh, blocked her right after). That guy was her new boyfriend after a month when she said she is not looking for relationships with others just exploring and living her youth.
Which was the main reason she broke up with me. Yeah there was distance and I wasn't the picture perfect boyfriend i was an asshole tbh for some mistakes i did. But her first initial reason was that she felt like shes missing out and that we are unaware what we need in life, and that we should break up and live our lives date other people and if it's meant to be we will get back together. Just that we shouldn't wait for each other. As she just cant shake off that feeling and its better to break up now then 10 years later when we are married.
Again gut wrenching as she quite literally stated she wants other guys and not me. I wouldn't have an issue to get into a relationship with a girl that have had 10 guys before me but she didnt know me before them. Then to have someone be with me for 3 years break up with me and come back 5 years later with 20+ bodies.
She "apologized" for mentioning and explaining in detail for what she did with guys.
And all of this happend over a half a year ago and its on my mind alot these days. As one side of me thinks how she just wasnt happy in a relationship, plus me being desperate plus this being her first time experiencing break up and her friends and family being against me, made her SO bitter in the end. And other side of me is like fuck it she knew what she was doing and she intentionally did it.
I was happy asf in our relationship, and after BU she just turned 180°..
Im contemplating so much right now as she was just someone that I wouldn't change even one bit during our relationship. And i knew she wasn't like this when we were together. But I'm constantly thinking about wanting her in my life and not wanting her anymore because I dont know how to feel about everything she's done to me. And other then her not loving me i still think she is the same person, still the person i would want to have for life.

Can I (35F) just list the things that my ldr guy of 1.5 years (40M) has done to me over the last year, I just want to get an idea if I am misinterpreting what he's doing as abuse or not. We started seeing each other in Feburary 2023 when I was living in his country for work. In August 2023 I had to leave his country due to my health issues and family loss. I paid for him to visit me in a different country in September 2023 and in Feburary 2024.
Please let me know your thoughts, I know this may sound silly because I know some of the things hes done are definently not good, but I have CPTSD and I genuinely dont always know if someone is abusive or not or if I am misunderstanding.

1. He refused to say sorry anytime he has said or did anything that was hurtful to me, no matter how bad it was
   
2. He has zero control over his temper and directly blames me for his reactions, gaslighting is a normal thing for him and hes done it from the beginning
   
3. He's said things like I should kill myself, that he doesn't care if I die, that he doesn't love me anymore, told me to get lost when my cat was dying and I called begging for support, blocked me when my mother was in the hospital in critical condition, threatened to throw my belongings (that he had when I had to leave the country suddenly) out on the street, told me everyone hates me, blocked me when I asked for emotional support for my medical condition and intended to never unblock me. Has yelled at me, called me names while I was crying, said I don't deserve apologies and that he hates me for crying, said my feelings about things are wrong
   
4. Major communication issues, will almost never do what he said he would do. Blames me when I get upset about it. No matter how many times I've asked him to read resources about mental health, relationships, my health conditions, to send voice messages if he is too busy to call or text, to provide emotional support when I'm suffering, he doesn't ever do it
   
5. Constant up and down, one moment he's telling me he will be there for me forever, the next he's telling me to get away from him and ignoring my messages
   
6. Blames me for feeling unsafe with him, although he's unwilling to change his behavior in any way to he more safe. He has had moments where he was better but those were quickly followed by him going back to his normal behavior.
   
7. Lied to me about having medical conditions that he actually doesn't have and won't admit to any lies. Lies to me about his circumstances and often will exaggerate his circumstances to sound worse than they are.
   

8 Will not tell anyone about dating me because of " cultural reasons" ( he's Indian and I am an American, he says his family doesn't approve of dating and only marriage) but also would tell his friends directly he was single

1. Constantly put my body and appearance down, would say he preferred blondes, so I bleached my hair until it started falling out, made no difference and he still does the same
   
2. Followed lots of Instagram models and would like their pictures constantly and be mad at me if I asked him not to because it felt disrespectful to me. Watches lots of porn to the point where he seems to be desensitized to real sex because of it.
   
3. Terrible, terrible sex life, has ED and premature ejaculation but no desire to get treatment or medication for it because he seems to not care if sex is fufilling for me or not. I am a very understanding person around this because I know hes very inexperienced and I have tried to educate him about his options and see if we could go together for treatment (when I was with him). But he continued to refuse any form of treatment, so basically we often cannot have sex. Will also refuse sex in a manipulative way, like he would blame me for his stress caused lack of desire, even if I had nothing to do with the stress source, like if it was work related ect.
   
4. Talks over me constantly even though I've told him many times it bothers me alot and is disrespectful in my culture ( he says it's normal in his)
   
5. Never ever says affectionate things to me unless he is drunk, basically treats me like a business associate most of the time
   
6. Became truly hateful to me two months ago when his mother had a stroke, despite me sending him thousands of dollars for medical bills and helping him everyday on the phone. Since then, is mostly hateful to me.
   
7. Multiple times has kicked me verbally and emotionally when I've been at my lowest, right now as I'm suffering and bedridden, he's only send mean messages. Blocked me when I was hospitalized before
   

16 Hangs up on me in the middle of conversations if he gets even a small bit upset, ignores my calls/messages (but hangs out with friends and at parties), doesnt check on me

1. Asked me to "earn" his love back by sharing my life more with him, I did so but it made no difference
   
2. Pushes his cultural and beliefs and refuses to talk about mine. Pushes marriage even though I don't feel comfortable with it but he doesn't care about what I want
   
3. Used to say really nice things to be randomly, used to show dramatic emotion about me, but most of the time he doesn't anymore
   
4. Prioritizes everyone over me, friends, work, family, anything and everyone
   
5. Once went on a vacation without me, said it was a work trip, hung out with two random girls and didn't tell them he was dating anyone (said nothing happened)
   
6. Doesn't protect me against assault by other men and actively blames me for when I was raped twice while being with him by other men who took advantage of me. This one is one of the most hurtful things he's done.
   
7. Puts me down constantly, tells me I'm bad or wrong or need to change but never changes himself at all
   
8. I paid for his plane tickets and travel fees ( total maybe 5000usd) for him to meet me in several countries so we could see each other, he never paid me back for anything he said he would.
   
9. Pretty much had directly told me he doesn't love me anymore, and currently is ignoring me while I'm in severe health condition and struggling, despite me begging him for kind words. Has sent only negative words
   
10. Let's me beg him for things, beg and plead, he mostly never replied and seems to enjoy the control he has over me
    
11. Actively devalues me, despite the fact that on some level I know logcally that I'm pretty, intelligent, very kind, talented, and resilient. I have good traits although of course I am not perfect but I dont think I deserve to be devalued all the time.
    
12. Currently wont let me have any causal conversations without getting mad at me, hes restricted our conversations to only about family, work, health. He says my viewpoints stress him and his focus needs to be on his mother
    

I should add a section where I state any good things he does or good traits. He has been very supportive of me improving my career situation as I had to leave my job due to health issues. He has said some very sweet things before, like he wanted to take my pain away, that he wanted to take care of me. He used to open up emotionally and cry to me when I have been with him in person, when I am away, he generally doesnt show emotions at all. He could be very sweet about taking care of me when I was sick and near him (I have several chronic health conditions that flare up). He had a few times where he seemed to make more of an effort and I thought there was hope things could improve, he read articles and would send nice messages. He used to want to see my face and would say very sweet things when he was drunk to me.
His mother had a stroke two months ago and that changed things significantly. He is her primary caregiver and I understand hes been under alot more stress.
He does match quite a few of the abuse points from Lundy Bancroft's book "Why does he do that", but at the same time he has other traits that make me wonder what actually is going on. Sometimes I have beeen uncertain if he has cognitive processing issues by how he responds sometimes, he doesnt have a family history of cognitive issues, and both his mother and brother show signs of cognitive problems so I dont know if that plays into it.
We defiently both have strong cultural differences as well, hes Indian from India, spent 7 years in the UK so he has some western culture traits as well. I am an American, from Pennsylvania, who has traveled and lived abroad alot for work before I got sick. He was raised in almost complete isolation on a miltary base, so he has alot of social issues from not really being exposed to the work that much until much later in life.
For a long time, I excused alot of his behavior and blamed myself, as I have CPTSD and a heavy abuse history, and I know I can misunderstand things and think sometimes someone is being abusive but they may not be. I thought he was definently emotionally immature, but as things have progressed, its gotten worse and worse and now I really feel that it is more abusive but I cannot tell do to these other positive and cognitive traits.
Theres probably more but I'm really exhausted from a worsened health condition and in a severe state. Please let me know your thoughts.

Hey guys this is my first time posting anything on Reddit but I’ve decided to go ahead and share because I need some support and it’s been comforting just reading everyone’s posts about their own experiences.
My ex and I broke up this past April. He was the dumper and it happened in the moment I needed someone the most and it felt essentially a repeat of when we broke up last year.
Our history is a bit of a long story I really don’t want to get into so I’ll try to sum it up. We were together for 4 years and in 2021 we moved in together. (Gay relationship between 2 males btw). I didn’t heal from baggage I came with (neither did he) and unfortunately we hurt one another along the way but we both decided to stay and work through things. I found out last May (the day I decorated the venue for his family for their cousins sweet 16) that he was cheating on me with someone and it’s been going on for months. Long story short it ended up being a nasty breakup. When I found out I reached out to the guy he was involved with and let him know what was going on and that my ex has been in a relationship with me and living with me while seeing him and the guy screenshot everything and sent it to my ex. Not even 2 minutes later my ex calls me livid, cursing me out with me on speaker on front of his sister. He tells me to not go to the sweet 16 I decorated for his family (using my flower wall, lights, canopy tent, everything) and my ex was so angry he came with his sister the day after the sweet 16 packed his clothes and left. (We just renewed our lease that month I had a pregnant cat it was a mess) and he blocked me on IG and him and the guy remained following each other and seeing each other the entire summer.
I cried for weeks. He made his family block and unfollow me, his mother couldnt even look or speak to me when I went to get my car from their house it looked like I betrayed him. He told me he was embarrassed in a way he will never forget etc. He texted me that he was going to only pay for 2 months of rent and then that’s it. As June approached I packed everything and the little stuff he left in the apartment (drawers filled with clothes, his mirror, couch, sneakers etc) and I moved out and left his things neatly packed in the middle of the living room. I painted the apartment back to white with tears in my eyes and the entire time he was out partying and posting it online and his friends and everyone were posting him. I was devastated.
When he found out I moved he cursed me out and demanded I send him the rent for June and then said I ruined his life. After I sent him the money (like an idiot) I blocked him and his entire family and was in no contact for about 5 months. He Completely gas lit me. 2 days later I found out he rented an airbnb upstate with the guy he cheated on me with and they spent the entire weekend alone in a cabin having sex. I was devastated. Cried the entire summer. He trashed talked me on TikTok, on IG and on threads and the entire time I was silent. I was afraid to fall asleep because the dreams would haunt me.
2 months later his mother emails me to my work email asking for a time me and him can meet so he can get a sweater and a broken photography light from my storage. This is a grown 6’2, 28 year old man who is bald and weighs 230lbs who wasn’t man enough to email me or confront his problem, he had mommy email me to my work email.
Fast forward to September he comes back and texts me for closure then hits me with a corny messaging saying “he’ll be at a museum at 6pm at the Egypt exhibit waiting for me because he needs to know what is and isn’t for him. If I don’t show up he will understand etc.”
We eventually met somewhere in October and spoke and decided to try again. As time progressed it was clear he didn’t do any of the work he was just distracting himself from reality and I did so much work on myself, I went to therapy and really dug deep within myself to heal past and current traumas.
January of this year I lost my job and he assured me if for whatever reason I don’t land a job in 2-3 months he will help support me. January turned to April I didn’t land a job (at this point I’m now living on my own and he is still with mommy and daddy) and me being unemployed at that point for 4 months was hard on me I got sad and depressed at times I couldn’t do much but stay locked in the house. I applied to so many jobs and it was a funky time for me. He would hang with his friends every weekend and invite me but I wasn’t comfortable because of how we turned everyone against me last year and it was just something I was still recovering from. So was intentional on building my own community and tapping into my own friends because the entire relationship I was with him and his family and friends all the time and never with mine. I moved from NYC to Jersey and I was essentially on his turf and as he saw the dynamic of our relationship was now different because of how it ended I was no longer comfortable around his people I don’t think he liked that.
April he hits me with “he doesn’t think I need a bf right now what I need is family and friends, let’s take a break and come back to this without the pressures of healing and etc. that he believes so much in the relationship which is why he is doing this.” At this point I had no money for rent, he was going to help me with Mays rent, he knew this, the night before I was going to meet my friend Nicole (who I met at a bar and she so happened to be a therapist) to speak to her about some of my worries and fears that this time I’m back in Jersey, no job, living on my own and things are rocky again with my ex. He didn’t like that and told me I was acting frantic for meeting with a friend and threw in my face “maybe she can help me with next months rent.”
Overall we had an amicable breakup he just said that he had a lot going on, didn’t want to stretch himself thin or compromise himself while trying to help me. He said “this will not be like last year, let’s stay in constant communication and come back stronger.” After that we went from texting and talking everyday to him now responding to me once a day and his responses to me were just very… different. It felt like breadcrumbing so I respectfully told him after he mentioned “it doesn’t seem like you want to speak now” I told him “ I don’t really wish to speak atm I’m just focusing on studying rn, on myself, and making sure I remain good without any added confusions or distractions. My priority rn is what’s best for me.” He told me “that contradicts everything we spoke of”
I was in protective mode at this point because this felt too similar to last year. I’m about to lose another apartment, he broke up with me, he’s backing off knowing my situation and he doesn’t want to get involved and he even told me “I don’t want to be affected by anything you have going on”
So the best thing I could do was go no contact but without blocking, or doing anything to alter or change the future we said we would come back to. I kept him on social media I didn’t check up on him, I didn’t block him I just let him know that I I didn’t want to speak in the moment and had to focus on me and make sure I was good. We didn’t end on bad terms. 2 and a half weeks later of no contact he blocks me on Instagram. A week and a half after that he unblocks me. I took a trip to Mexico for my birthday, he didn’t wish me a happy birthday and blocked me again on IG. I’m saddened and disappointed because we didn’t end on bad terms and it’s triggering and scary to me because I can’t unsee now everything he is capable of, it feels mean and vindictive like how we was last year and he’s doing everything wrong and not according to what the breakup agreement was. This time around I’m stronger but very triggered and disappointed that he’s showing me just how unhealed and very vindictive he can be. Simply because I decided to be transparent and chose me as he ultimately chose himself again so I can get through this better to revisit the relationship. Any thoughts? Sorry this was a lot. I wish I could provide screenshots but my screenshots were posted on the “ExNoContact” community and “HeartBreak”’community

My wife would get snapchats from an ex of hers who has been sleazy in the past. She was in love with this guy and he broke her heart. I asked her to block him because I wasn't comfortable, she did for a while. Then a few weeks later she told me she wanted to unblock him and he apologized for treating her bad in the past and she told me and him she really appreciates the apology and wants to make it clear they can be friends but she is in a happy marriage with me and had 2 kids. I think they talk quite a bit now and it really bugs me but she doesn't seem to understand why and shows no intention of stopping. What do I do? Edit: we also have 2 kids together which just adds more variables to how I feel about it.

I need advice if i should just move on or get back in contact with the guy i used to “talk” to. Okay so i female (17) have been off and on for about 5 months with male (18), and I know that’s really not a lot of time but throughout our time we did have together I think I really make a connection with him and I don’t want to say I feel in love with him because I don’t even really know what love is yet. Iconstantly think about him even though i never even see him anymore because school is out, and he already graduated. I think he really just moved on from me but i’m not sure. I really want to text him and just say that i miss him but is that weird or desperate, because i don’t want to come off like that again ( for some context every time we started to get back in contact it’s because I broke no contact, and also he block me on Snapchat because we kinda got into a fight and i told him off kinda so he blocked me and to make it worse at school in the hall I yelled at him unblock me and his name in so.. yeah he probably thinks I’m a bit desperate. BUT he unblocked me on Snapchat and added me back a couple weeks ago so.. maybe it is a sign? Idk i need help). But I really really liked and still like and miss him and I just want to text him and say I miss him, but I don’t know if I should. Because for the past week I’ve just been contemplating whether I should text him and say how I feel or to just move on and get over it ( because I feel like this horrible feeling of grief i guess is just limerence maybe.) I don’t know can anyone give me advice on what I should do.
P.S And sorry that this was a bit of a rant.