I'm a new player with a mono-Imaginary team, and I was thinking Sunday could be Imaginary/Erudition since there's no Imaginary/Erudition character yet (I feel like Screwllum's gonna be the first of that mix though). Erudition fits with Sunday's character since he's knowledgeable and he has a penchant for research.
Imaginary makes sense since he was in what basically amounts to Imagination Dreamland Theme Park, and he was doing a lot of Imagineering stuff inside the Grand Theater.
However, Nihility (debuffing) could also fit him, since he rejected the Path of Harmony (buffing).
He directly clashed with the ideals of characters who synced with Harmony (i.e. the Trailblazer, the Nameless squad, Robin, and everyone else involved in the power-of-friendship sequence); being a Nihility character would give him further poetic contrast with Robin in terms of characterization and gameplay.
Story-wise, he was already inflicting debuffs on people. He "debuffed" Aventurine with a death curse, causing Aventurine extreme pain and intense hallucinations.
And imprisoning millions of people in a forever dream, basically robbing them of free will, and putting their reality on stasis...is arguably putting a debuff on those people, in a similar way to how Kafka's "Dominate" is a debuff.
So Sunday could have mind control, mental/emotional pain, dream trapping, and/or hallucinations as his unique debuffs if his kit is Nihility. His abilities might revolve around causing enemies to confuse their allies as enemies, or cause DoT via psychically shocking enemies with nightmarish hallucinations.
Emotion-wise, Sunday could be having an existential crisis after his all the Oak family's effort, scheming, and planning were all for nothing in the end.
He dedicated his whole life to Order, he attained godlike power, and he almost ascended to an Aeon...only for it all to brought down to zero.
His disillusionment with Order, and going from godlike being to back to being a mortal...could make him emotionally aligned with Nihility.
Finally, we can look at the pattern of new character releases for a clue:

1. ⚡ Acheron - Nihility
2. 🧠 Aventurine - Preservation
3. 👊🏻 Robin - Harmony
4. 👊🏻 Boothill - The Hunt
5. 🔥 Sam/Firefly - Destruction
6. ⚛️ Jade - Erudition
7. ❓???? - Abundance
8. ❓???? - Nihility

Assuming he's releasing on 2.5 and this pattern holds, he's either Abundance or Nihility. Maybe Ice or Wind if Mihoyo's not spamming elements.
Mihoyo has a Male/Imaginary/Yang, Female/Quantum/Yin pattern going on, so it would be interesting if Sunday breaks the pattern by being the first male Quantum.
Whatever the case, whatever his element or Path, Sunday will be on my team. Sunday will be ours. Sunday will become our Everyday.
Praise Sunday, and may Sunday become Everyday.
(All that said, I'd like to know what you all think Sunday's Path and Element will be, while we're all waiting for leaks).

February 15 i found out my husband and i were finally expecting our first baby. this was something i had absolutely begged and prayed for. i was over the moon, My entire life now revolved around “ im pregnant”
Towards the end of February i notice i was getting some intense cramping that would make me sick to my stomach, i spoke with some other moms and we’re all told by them “it’s normal”.
March 3 i was just waking up getting some breakfast and had an extremely sharp pain, this pain made me collapse to the floor. I immediately called my husband (Paramedic/FF) and he had a squad pick me up with him and take me to the ER.
By the time we arrived the cramp was gone, i felt completely “normal”. They still wanted to do a scan and just check everything out. We sat in the room for 2 hours before i was taken back to my scan. I walked into the room, the lady asked me to go use the bathroom to make sure i had no urine in my bladder, so i did. After she asked me to get on the table and explained to me the entire process.
I was so excited. i was finally going to be able to get a glimpse of my baby! i was 5 weeks so i hadn’t have had my first scan yet. i ask her if i can see what everything looks like, she approves if she can see anything. She goes from talking and carrying a conversation to total silence.
As i lay there all i can think is “is something wrong?”. She then helps me get off the table and gives me a hand towel to clean myself off. As i walk into the bathroom to do so and get my pants back on, i go to wipe.
There it was. Blood. Everywhere. My stomach immediately dropped as all i can repeating say “no no no”. The lady wheels me back to my room where my husband is sitting with a smile waiting for me to return. When he sees my face he knows something isn’t right.
Of course while waiting for results i’m googling “blood while 5 weeks” “brown blood at 5 weeks, is this normal?”. My doctor then walks in, grabs the tv remote and turns the tv off and sits down. She then looks at me grabs my hand and lets me know of the news. Ectopic Pregnancy. At this moment my entire life was just crushed. everything was ruined. My husband attempted to console me with no success.
I was also informed that due to the scan the pregnancy had bursted and i was needed to be transported to a different hospital that was 30 minutes away from there to have emergency surgery to remove my tube.
I begged and begged for the Transportation to allow my husband to ride with me.I needed him too. Of course this was denied. 30 Minutes of crying, screaming, not understanding what i did wrong.
Today, i am still having the hardest time finding a way to cope. Anytime i get a reminder i just uncontrollably loose it. Yes i understand this takes time, but it’s almost feeling like the longer it’s been, the harder it is. We have finally been cleared from my surgeon to try again, My husband is So excited. I, am not. All i can think about is how bad it hurt me to know i lost a part of me. I don’t know if i can go through that again. Now i’m so lost. the one thing i prayed for, begged for and hoped for i am absolutely terrified to have happen.

i have the plan. i learned how to tie a noose, i found a strong enough tree branch my support my weight while i hang. i have enough xanax and norco to try to overdose on first so i won’t feel as much pain. i’ll bring a bottle of beer just in case i need to increase my risk. everyone in my life has abandoned me. even the ones that say they never would, they always do after a while. i was never meant to be here. since i was born i wasn’t wanted and i don’t see that changing anytime in the future. people always leave me at my absolute lowest and disappoint me everytime. i’m too much. i’ve attempted before but nothing as seriously thought out as this, maybe bc i was a coward but now i have nothing to lose. i lost everything. i finally won’t be a burden to anyone anymore. i can leave this world and life i wasn’t meant to live and people can finally be happier without me. i won’t be bringing any more pain or ruin anyone else’s life anymore. they’ll replace, move on and forget about me eventually

As a long time lurker, I recently read the post about signs that you were raised by narcissistic parents and realized that maybe I had more of a problem than I wanted to admit. In light of this, I wanted to share/vent my recent struggle and get some outside perspective because at this point I've been in my own head for way too long.
To set the stage: my wife (29F) and I (29M) live in southern California. My parents split their time between northern California and Vegas (all 4-6+ hours away by car). My wife's mother lives close by (about 30 minutes away).
This all started when my wife and I decided we wanted to elope for our wedding. Our jobs have extremely rigid, time-consuming schedules, so finding time to do even this was hard enough. My wife wanted a June anniversary, so the only date we could make work happened to be Father's Day that year. My mom was also out of the country at the time. Despite originally not having any problem with our plan, my dad later changed his mind, invited himself to the "ceremony", and sulked the entire lunch afterward with her family to the point where everyone felt uncomfortable. He was upset that we chose to get married on Father's Day, while my mom was out of town. At the time I felt very guilty. However, our plan was just to spend literally a couple hours signing some papers. I didn't see a need to make my parents drive 8 hours round trip just to watch us sign some documents. We were even planning a celebration trip later on (that most definitely will not be happening now lol), so all the more reason we felt that they didn't need to be a part of this. Now we can't even look at the pictures from that day without feeling all the awkwardness of that day that he inserted himself into.
Then when my wife was pregnant, my mother-in-law's friend reached out and mentioned she had a ton of baby stuff that she wanted to give us, which we were more than happy to accept. This friend lived in Vegas, so I asked my parents if they could go grab the stuff. My dad immediately got upset and tried to convince me not to accept it. I didn't really understand why, but ultimately my mom ended up going to get it. Then when we requested they deliver the stuff to us a couple months before my daughter would be born, my dad again resisted and said he was busy with work and "did we really need the stuff now." I ultimately gave up my only two days off in a 30 day stretch of work to drive to and from Vegas myself to get the stuff in a timely manner. Naturally, my wife was very unhappy with this situation.
When my daughter was born, my dad decided they would visit us to meet the baby. They visited for a day around two weeks postpartum. They brought some food for us, took some pictures, but quickly left again. My wife was furious. She felt like that it had been more about them seeing the baby rather than caring about her in her vulnerable and exhausted state. I agreed, and at this point the stress of being new parents along with my inability to put my foot down against my parents was putting a strain on our relationship.
Then a couple months later, my mother flew in to live with us for a week to help with the baby. We had planned to enjoy a nice lunch and have a fun day on Sunday before she flew back to thank her for her help. We had all agreed on this being the plan, but a couple days before that Sunday, my dad called and stated that he had cancelled my mom's flight and that he'd drive over and pick her up on Saturday instead, skipping the Sunday plans altogether. We negotiated that he at least let us take her out to lunch on Sunday, which he finally agreed to, but then said he'd join us for lunch and to add him to the reservation. Now growing up I had gotten used to this kind of thing from my dad, but my wife had had it at this point. She was angry that he would try to make us change our plans last minute to accommodate him, and point blank refused to change the reservation, leaving my dad to sulk and complain that we weren't being respectful of him. At this point, we agreed that we would keep my parents at a distance and not try to ask them for any sort of help anymore. She also now refused to say hi to them whenever I called them and opted to just keep her distance.
Fast forward to about a week ago, I called my parents while I was home alone. At this point they had noticed that my wife was distant. My dad asked what was bothering us so we could talk it through. Before I could even get a full sentence out, he was already yelling: "oh my god you guys are still thinking about that? When will you let bygones be bygones? Okay fine, I'm the bad guy, are you happy now?" I have always just relented and apologized to appease my dad's feelings, but this time I became angry and pointedly stated that our needs should come first, especially during this period of time. In response, he said that we "never considered that maybe he wanted to feel the joy of buying stuff for his granddaughter", and "have I ever considered that maybe he's uncomfortable going to get hand-me-downs from someone he doesn't know." I told him I felt like what I asked for wasn't unreasonable, and even if it made him a little uncomfortable, would it be that hard to put aside his feelings to help his son. He said "well if you asked me to jump off a bridge, should I do that then?" This was the conversation that really stuck with me and ultimately put me in the headspace to want to make this post.
Now most recently, Mother's Day weekend came up, and my brother's college graduation in northern California was on the Saturday. It also happened to be a friend's wedding. Due to my work schedule, the baby, the wedding, and wanting to celebrate with my wife for her first Mother's Day, I felt it was best that I not travel and just celebrate with my brother at a later date. My brother and mom were understanding, but my dad made it a point to call me and try to convince me to blow off work and skip the wedding, and that "family always comes first." Funnily enough come Mother's Day, they never even tried to wish my wife a happy first Mother's Day. Instead when I FaceTimed them myself to wish my mom a happy Mother's Day, I could see my dad sulking again that my wife had declined to be present for the call. I don't think to this day he fully understands why we're so upset and still feels that we are the disrespectful ones.
Anyways, there's so much more I could say but this post is way too long as it is. I feel like I've thought myself into circles and now I'm not really sure what to think or how to feel anymore. I've been alternating between anger, sadness, and guilt that maybe I'm blowing things out of proportion. I guess I just wanted to put my feelings out there and see what other people thought. Thanks for reading!

I'm from a very complicated family, everyone contributes to this weirdest family relationships.
Long story short, parents been separated for 15-20yrs, Mother is 'NPD' controlling freak who hates me and wishes me dead, but slightly changed how she treats since I've been working. My elder brother is not close to me at all, thanks to Mother's manipulation that turned him against me. Father, oh, Father is just... I don't know how to talk about him, I'll try to not put too much emotional stuff in this.
Father worked really hard to raise us two kids. I used to be so sad just watching him going through daily hard labor work, day after day. As you can imagine, he does not make much.
My brother has caused lots of trouble, starting with before I even got to school, families would constantly tell him, his life was degraded because of my birth, which is probably true. Mother would say, look how much your brother sacrificed for me and whatever I ate, my brother spared for me, etc. ever since I was a baby.
While we were still in school, my brother tried to rob some taxi driver and got into lots of trouble. I watched Father’s hair turn grey overnight. Then he got a girl pregnant, and her parents threatened to sue him ‘raping the girl’. Father’s hair went almost completely grey that year.
Father looked so much older during those few years. I feel so terrible cause I was not helping much.
Parents fought every year, especially around festivals. I hate festivals and family reunions as bad as you can imagine.
Even years later now, it sets me in this dramatically desperately sad mode even just talking with them. At least a whole week would be super messed up and then slowly adjusting myself back to be a normal person.
See I really appreciate how Father has done for us and he even got me through college. I witnessed all the pain and hard work he put done for this.
I was close to him but in a weird way, I often hate him too, trying to keep my distance. I didn’t understand why.
Until the 3^rd year in college, one of my friends was really depressed for a while, one day she was talking about some really difficult stuff she was going through with her dad, I was trying to listen and help her through that period.
And suddenly it hit me so hard, shit, think my dad did the same thing to me as well.
That day opened up a gap in that forced to be closed slowly healed rough ugly scar from family traumas, all those left behind memories flooded back to me. Ever since then, I have been in an even worse condition. All the sadness, oh boy, even today, I’m in tears just typing these words.
My uncle is a rapist. Before he was sent to jail, he pulled my pants as well, he didn’t do anything further besides watching, at least that one time that know of, nothing else happened. I was about maybe 5yrs old, I didn’t know what it meant. The year he was arrested, I was already in elementary school and starting to know that was, maybe, not right. When I told my parents about it, and they said, well just shut up about it and don’t mention it to anyone else, you should be ashamed.
When I was about 10yrs old, I started to be sent to semi foster type of families, mainly neighbors, because parents had to work somewhere else, and brother started boarding school. My foster family are generally nice to me, treated me well, fed me 3 meals a day. Food makes people happy.
I was also happy because Father wasn’t around.
The first time I sensed danger I was about 9yrs old.
Again, Mother had never ever told me anything about what is like being a girl, how to deal with period, breast may start to have some changes, wear underwear, wash and clean lady parts, etc. nothing.
I didn’t exist in that house unless she needed someone to vent. As you can see, I was smart, I made myself invisible as much as I could.
Around 4^th grade I had to do some performance for children’s day, our headmaster accidentally realized I was not wearing any undergarments, so she kindly gave me some of her granddaughter’s. After that performance, I started to wear those every day. They look more like little cami top shirts.
One day I woke up, I was already late for school. I got so scared, and I started crying. Father was often more patient with me. He was comforting me and told me to get off bed and get ready for school. I was crying and I wasn’t paying much attention to what he said. And suddenly I realized he stopped talking. I looked up and watched him staring at me, he looked so strange and oddly scary at that moment, not like he was beat me or anything, like a … predator. I tried to figure out what caught his attention and then I realized, half of my breast was showing because the undergarments were too big for me, and I moved when sitting up in bed.
I immediately stopped crying and pulled it up. But I would never forget his eyes, the way he stared at my breasts. It often makes me sick whenever thinking about it even today. I was confused and a bit scared, and I guess ever since then it sort of startled me, the love for my father. But again, I was too young to understand what happened and I did not have anyone around me to tell me girls’ changes around certain age.
Father soon left for a few years, and I was really relived. I don’t know how to describe this feeling and I could only understand myself better till years later.
After Father left, I started going around semi foster families, including my grandparents’ place. Around summertime, I realized the bathroom lock broke, so I just blocked it from inside with chairs every time taking a shower. Still one day, my grandfather forced in and claimed he needed something from the inside. I stood there naked for a second, then rushed to get my clothing and rushed out of the bathroom.
Ever since then, I tried everything to lock that door even more solidly and it worked. The problem is, even today, living thousands of miles away from where I grew up with, I am still extremely insecure with door locks, I buy all sorts of locks to double lock every door, using door stoppers as well.
Then one day, Father just showed up in my school again. He was back. I was happy but deep down something also quietly but terribly disturbed my peace.
One afternoon, while taking a shower, I suddenly felt weird. I started looking around and didn’t find anything odd. But that feeling keeps coming back. So, I looked around again; this time, I saw Father’s face and his eyes were by the window and staring at me, he was so concentrated and didn’t even realize I already saw him. I had to ask him what he was doing there, and he told me he was checking if I finished taking a shower. He looked panicked just like years ago when I busted him staring at my breasts when I was still in 4^th grade.
There were so many little things that happened when I was a kid, but I did not have the knowledge to distinguish what that meant.
I remember starting from one day, my grandmother started to guard me right outside the bathroom every time I took a shower. I didn’t know what that was for, she never mentioned anything, also because she was never that close to me, and I was the least favorite kid.
It’s like a puzzle. So many things started to connect, so many memories I buried deep down started to come back to me. I was so depressed for the first few years after I realized what happened to me when I was a kid. My friend’s memory somewhat triggered my memory valve as well.
About the time I started looking for internships, I was really busy, and it was stressful. One early morning, on the way to work I picked up a call from Father. He told me he was going to commit suicide but didn’t do it because of me.
Mother is really toxic which was not news to me, and they had separated for so many years and I really pity him. I had lots of terrible memories regarding Mother, I thought about suicide so many times every day for many many years ever since I learned the word ‘death’. I just never thought Father was gonna say it out first. It really shocked me, and I was really terrified. But again, death was never an extreme word for me, it was like a relief from my parents. See confused and scared, never knew what’s really going in my mind. I had so much to deal with and I felt I was going to explode but I didn’t have time for that, I was graduating college that year.
But since that, my previous thoughts about confronting Father about his perverting behaviors when I was kid, it just could not be done.
Now for years, I was torn again and again with thoughts about confronting him also worrying it might humiliate him and caused his suicidal thoughts again. I couldn’t tell if he was just trying to manipulate me or was really desperate.
Father worked hard raising my brother and me, and I got into college.
I have been depressed for years, struggling all the time, cutting myself at times when super extremely desperate and couldn’t do anything about it. I would buy tickets traveling all over the world and put parents’ names in my travel insurance, hoping that would pay them back if anything happened.
When I was about 30yrs old, finally one day I confronted him, twice, in person and on the phone, and he denied of course.
Again, I didn’t want to say anything and get him killed, so I stayed quiet for quite a few years again.
But in recent years, I couldn’t help it. I started screaming at him in my dreams and it kept me awake for days after such dreams.
A few days ago, I texted him about it and wanted an apology. I need closure. I desperately need it. I wasn’t planning to go any further than that and I was ready to let it go if he just admits it and just apologize.
After all, for many people, it might not even be considered as such an evil thing to do, right? I don’t know, I am super exhausted and confused.
He soon replied, of course he denied again and saying I was humiliating him, and he said if I still do not believe him, I should consider him dead. Also, he said, you two are my kids, what is there that I have never seen on you two anyways?
I cried for the whole night.
It is so disgusting that he really tried to manipulate me to accept what he said with suicidal/ death threatening, also how he tried to justify his behaviors.
I wished him well and promised to send money when I can, but also told him I won’t be talking to him anymore.
This is as much as I could have done for that little kid when I look back, that little me. It was not as expected but I have to let it go now.
I so wish someone could tell me how someone can be a father also a monster. I don’t know if I am being dramatic about these ‘little things’. I am so worried about he might kill himself because I wouldn’t know how to cure myself with that strike.
But I am in so much pain inside and as always I want to save myself. Every time talking to him is like sharpening this knife to cut open this giant ugly roughly almost healed scar. It’s so ugly and painful.

I’m 23 and born a woman (this is important) and when I was young and still in my faith I learned that I am a lesbian. I did everything a good Mormon would and told my dad and my bishop but ultimately this discovery led me away from the church and I’m happy for that. I moved out at 18 and spent the last few years just fighting to survive as a new adult and I believe I finally found my footing I have a gf who is loving and supportive, a home with my pets and belongings, and friends who love me and you’d think after all the work I’ve done to get here I’d be happy but I’m not. My body has recently began to change and become more “womanly” and I’ve never felt so alienated. I don’t know if I just hate myself or if I hate my body and the ideas that were forced into my mind from a young age still seem to have a grip on me that I can’t shake. I’m afraid of the idea that I might not be a woman but I don’t understand things outside my own mind enough to embrace the idea that I might be more comfortable as a man. The Mormon faith teaches that your body is a gift and for years I was the “ideal Mormon girl” long blonde hair, blue eyes, skinny build, and smaller chest. I got compliments regularly and attention I didn’t really want but silently liked because I felt wanted. Now I am older and I can control how I look so I cut all my hair off and made a goal to gain weight, I was tired of being that girl they use to describe me as. Now that I’ve grown into my body I have big hips and a big chest and a round face and for the first time ever I hate how I look. I don’t mean to sound conceited when I saw that but it’s true I never really worried about my looks before. It’s absolutely disheartening for me to be here now, I made all the changes to myself, changes I thought would make me feel more like myself, and dare I say attractive and happy just to learn that I hate how my appearance has changed and feel like I made a mistake. I don’t want to look like a feminine I never really have I’ve always been a tomboy and yet I find myself stuck in this in between state of wanting to be pretty but masculine. Strong but beautiful. That feels like an impossible dream. Something I’ve fabricated in my mind but can never achieve. I wish I was taught how to love me instead of how to love the womanly body I was so graciously given from god.

~Neptori~
A party was indeed hosted, set up to surround the burning mass of grass that the second creature had been hidden inside, the two severed heads spiked on massive rose thorns high above the half acre of angry flame were eyeless and toothless. Trophies for the queen’s pet Faeries and Fairies.
Tori was half certain she had seen a demon amongst the deadly, fake-friendly, party goers. His eyes didn’t just reflect the fire, they were made from fire. Sparks flew and skittered over his high cheekbones as they made eye contact in passing. A chill went down her spine, a warning and a threat.
She followed quickly after the queen, her gown had been replaced with a shorter gown resembling a white iris flower, the shoes of course matching to look like the stem. High, high heels that didn’t even touch the ground. They hovered over the ground as she fluttered her wings to stay just above her people. A subtle band of wild roses sat on her brow, Neptori only wondered about the thorns and how a flower could be so pale and yet so brightly yellow. Fluffy and tiny, the roses faintly resembled the clouds as the sun fell to make way for darkness in night.
Someone, at some point, had made sunflowers grow twice as tall as they were. They lined the main scenes of the party, their strong, velvety leaves bore golden, burning lanterns. An ashy pink smoke filtered flower shaped holes in the circular… those weren’t lanterns- fairies were nocturnal! Those were burning herbs, were they to keep predators away from the party or to heighten the pixie magic warping the sizes of everything. She took a light whiff taking in the earthy smell, the note of citrine and then the smell of honey fresh from a beehive… she suddenly felt very light. Shaking her head to shake the feeling, she finally caught up to the queen's side. Wings would have been entirely advantageous in this situation, Tori would have to do with waiting till the queen had settled on her throne at hearing distance.
Around and around the party they went, Tori being shown off like a prized pony. The queen didn’t seem to be too hated by her people, it was strange that she had said so earlier. Neptori pinched her brow trying to keep her thoughts from derailing. No, play by her rules and she will have to let Tori go. That’s what she would have to do. So around and around she went some more. Fairies drenched her in new garments. As they were the fashion capital of the realm, they were exceedingly horrified by a poor woman’s rags. Neptori accepted their gifts, too afraid to offend to deny the strange things they put on her. Her coat had been torn from her at some point, her trousers had been replaced with a purple petticoat and a pink pearl corset. Her boots were gone and her feet cried out in pain as she felt the dirt and clovers underfoot. As her toes dug into the soft heaven that was nature. A giggle escaped her, a scraggly cry really. It hurt but it was amazing. She couldn’t remember the last time she had taken her boots off. Her smell was ripe and rank but she didn’t care, her toes weren’t cramped up!
she turned to see if the queen could see- but there was nobody. Just an empty field and those burning herbs finally burning up. The smoke was so thin it fell in scraggly whisps. The morning air seemed too crisp and clean and untamed. She burst into a sprint down the path of trampled grasses. Strange flowers and shrubs had grown underfoot but they were walked all over by what must’ve been an enormous crowd. Then a light, brighter than the awakening blue overhead, the sun. The first rays yawned over the land, sending a golden and blue contrast into the world. She had never felt so at peace. So at one with her surroundings. Her face was numb and cold with it, or maybe the reverse but she was only paying attention to the awakening surrounding her.
The bees and birds and the fairies… everyone began to stir awake as slowly as if time was blinking awake with them. She just stared with watering eyes, taking in the magic that thickened in the air. The scent of apple blossoms washing over her as the land was engulfed in golden hues of every color. Then it was green. The sky was alive with fluffy white clouds, scattered across that simple barrier of blue. It was all so beautiful and it thrummed around her, in her veins it pulsed.
Everything just felt so right, then a shadow fell around her. She turned her surely very glassy eyes to find the queen standing a wreck before her. “There you are pet.” She said with a crooked grin. Her eyes were bright red and brought out the earthy green hues within her irises. Her iris party dress was limp and her band of fluffy yellow roses was gone.
“Wha- “What happened?” Neptori cried out as her knees came crashing down to the dirt and rocks and ashes and… what had happened? “Your very first fairy party it seems.” She waved a hand and the perfect scene made way for the glowing petal walls of the fairy palace.

TLDR: I need to lose a lot of weight. I am successful when in a consistent calorie deficit, but I feel so hungry and irritable when doing so. Does it get better or are people just hungry all the time when losing a lot of weight and maintaining?
I (32F; HW 240 CW 225 GW 165) nailed a healthy diet in January and lost a good bit of weight, but I struggled with feeling so very hungry and deprived during that time.
I was aiming for a 1,800 calories a day goal after working with my doctor, and usually found myself between 1,400 and 1,800 cals. I had a higher calorie day about 1-2 times a week. I had fewer processed carbs, a protein goal (80-100mg) and water intake goal (130oz). I was also getting 10,000 + steps a day, even if it meant walking around my house for 45 mins at the end of the day lol. It was working! I was a bit less consistent in February/March, and then almost completely fell off in April/May.
I have a prescription for Wegovy and I'm on week 2 and have decided I don't want to continue. Side effects are honestly ok, and it really does affect my appetite and make eating fewer calories so much easier. I see why it works so well - if I always felt like this I would rarely ever even reach 1,400 cals a day. I really am anxious however to be on a medication forever, and the long term side effects and stigma around it just freak me out. Plus, I've kind of proven to myself that if I'm consistent, I can lose and maintain for a while. I really want to be able to do this.
I gained 60+ lbs in two years after taking Lexapro for postpartum anxiety and depression and I was relieved to finally be off the meds last year. Unlucky for me the weight wouldn't budge after simply stopping. I'm mostly healthy but at high risk for type 2 diabetes and have developed high cholesterol and back pain.
Anyways, I want to get back into what I was doing earlier this year and make it a lifestyle, but I have a hard time imagining spending most of my time feeling very hungry and unsatisfied.
Do you eventually feel more full from less? Please tell me that if I can push through for longer than before and I can maintain a deficit without feeling hungry, tired, and irritable.

A couple of weeks ago I decided to finally try out fallout 1. Definitely inspired by the fallout craze going on. I had completely forgotten how the stat system works and just went with the default Max Stone. After a couple of hours of playing and talking with some friends who have played fallout 1, I decided to make a character with starting stats much more in line with how I want to play. I played this new character for maybe 8 hours.
At a certain point I read online that skills don’t need to go above 100 and I had raised my small guns skill way too high at 200. I really didn’t want to make a 3rd character so I decided I’ll just move the points over from small guns to something else. I looked in to fallout save file mods but nothing I could easily run on my steam deck which is my only computer atm. So, I decided to write my own tool based on this handy guide.
I wrote a C library with the intention of other programs being able to include my headers and shared object for creating their own fallout mod projects. This has been a real pain but after a week of working on it I finally modified my stats. I was so excited to tell my friends what I had worked on and why and that’s when they said 200 is perfectly fine. I felt like I wasted my time by misunderstanding some random post online. The current codebase is useable but not user friendly. I haven’t implemented a gui, a cli, or cross platform build releases.
My question now to y’all is, should I keep working on this?
https://github.com/aleitnefse

For context, I post cool teams that I made using some underplayed path or tactic, and on the last one, Unorthodox Gameplay 3 : Monarchnesis, a fellow user u/Alexandergus (COME, SAY HI TO EVERYONE) asked me to build a team with not only Anamnesis, but Berserker Helion as well... And as the title says : ASK AND THOU SHALL RECEIVE
Sidenote: If there's too much text for your liking, dear reader, feel free to skip to the summary part down bellow ;)
So, with that out of the way, let's get to strats!

Occultist

I took inspiration on a setup that ShuffleFM (Darkest Dungeon youtuber,twitch streamer and really good reference) showcased on one of his teams. The concept is that you have a Virtuoso Jester using Encore on Occultist, which proceeds to Chaotic Offering on his bonus turn, generating an Unlimited Power Token(UP). After that, when the regular Occ turn rolls in, he gets the second UP because of the turn start effect, which he originally used to nuke someone with Warlock's Burning Stars turn 1; on my case is to perform Aspirant Anamnesis and open the first turn with a really strong cleave, I also run Burning Stars as an option for larger enemies like size 2s or bosses.

Jester

As for the Jester, since I'm basing my entire schtick on Encore, I'm also running Solo and Finale. That's because you can actually use the dazed in your favor and the cooldowns sync. EG: Encore turn 1 > gets dazed and pushed to last turn 2 action order > Solo > Forward 3> gets Speed token and Jester, specially Virtuoso is really fast > goes first on turn 3 > uses Finale > Back 3 and dazed >If encounter's still going, Encore and Repeat. I topped him with Inspiring Tune for Stress heal (literally the best in the game) and Razor's Wit for poke.

Helion

Now let's talk about Helion. She likes the cleave since it helps her kill rank 4 in 1 turn with Iron Swan, specially ordained and modified enemies like elite and sturdy, not only that but as she's Berserk and is at Rank 1, I run Bleed Out as a strong option after I dealed with the backline; Bleed Out doesn't even have a cooldown, it "just" grants you winded tokens, which means you can spam it to stack monstrous bleeds. I just did act 3 and had 18 bleeds on the last phase for 5 turns (I crited). Another synergy is that after you cast Burning Stars at a chonky target, it gets combo; Bleed Out on Berserker on a combo tarket has 63% BLEED PIERCING. It's basically guaranteed (unless you're using this on Warlord, this bastard has 100 base... He's a VERY good reason to not go overboard on bleeds; not only that but if your whole team wants to bleed someone, you'll end up fighting for the same trinkets). For the rest of her kit, I had Toe to Toe for Taunt, Rooted and movement, Adrenaline Rush for heals and Bloodlust for really long fights and as an alternative to remove Winded tokens that isn't dependent on Adrenaline Rush's health threshold AND grants 30% more damage against bleeding targets. With Jester Encore, you can mix a ton of good sequences, specially in later stages of the fight, granting Helion bonus actions, for example stacking Bleed Out faster, or clearing winded with Bloodlust/ Adrenaline Rush/Toe to Toe+ and then hitting again with Bleed Out.

Plague Doctor

And to stitch the team together, I chose Plague Doctor as the Rank 4 hero, but not any Plague Doctor; Physician. I managed to weld together Physician, Anamnesis and Bleed Out and it's ...GOOD? The thing with Physician is that, except for Magnesium Rain that has a cooldown of 3 turns, she doesn't have a damaging skill to use. Instead, her supportive capabilities are enhanced, and they're great with this team because she provides much needed utility with crowd control, corpse clearing, heals and offensive tokens.
Usefulness Utility listed bellow!

• Turn 1 she can use Emboldening Vapors on Occ to boost Anamnesis and Burning Stars, not only that but on this path this skill grants 2 Strenght Tokens instead of 1, with a cooldown of 1 turn or 0 when upgraded.
  
  • She can blind and daze the two backrow enemies wit Blinding Gas+ to delay their actions long enough so Helion and Occ can make quick work of Rank 4 before the target does something WHILE Rank 3 is Blinded!
  • Magnesium Rain is good for chip damage, dodge clearing and corpse removal(therefore, Bleed Out setup)
  • Heals are as great as ever!
  • Even Ounce of Prevention gets an honorable mention for better handling heavy DOT enemy comps and diseases, like creature dens and the Sprawl; and at this path even grants Stress Damage RES
  But one of the reasons I really liked Phys here is because the team can make full use of her Disorienting Blast, which not only has +20% Stun Piercing on upgrade with combo, but grants Vulnerable as well. A problem I had is that some key heavy hitting skills from the rest of the cast are heavelly reliant on position, like Leper's Chop hitting Ranks 1 and 2, PBS hitting 1, Pistol Shot not hitting 1; so it was kinda like a gamble most of the time. But Finale and Burning Stars hit ALL ranks REALLY HARD ; which means that it doesn't really matter where the enemy ends up, it's going to get CLAPPED. Helion also makes good use of it in later stages of the fight, where your Magnesium Rain is on cooldown and the enemy is standing at rank 2, where rank 1 is a corpse and rank 3 and 4 are cleared. You can try to fish it and grant vulnerable at the same time; it's good!
  

Maps

For regions, try to prioritize the Shroud, for the bleed trinkets for Helion and Ocultist and other trinkets for the Jester, like Seamen's Boots and Compass.
Defensive trinkets on Helion aren't bad either, since she's gonna eat 80% of the hits thrown at her, so Tangle isn't a bad choice. Burning Stars ignores Block and Blinding Gas can help by "dodging" some heavy hitting moves.
Sprawl can be okay because of burn trinkets that can up the usefulness of Mag. Rain and speedy trinkets for Jester
Foetor is the lowest priority map to go, literally no one wants blight buffing trinkets and you even risk getting your heroes sick; I'd go if the map mission grants a good reward but that's about it.

Lair Boss matchups

• You can wreck Levi, specially with a bit of scaling since Bleed Out+ gives good damage with 6 points of bleed; the hand has 24 hp and the bleed by itself deals 18. Burning Stars is a Nuke as well as Finale. BTW he has a trophy that DOUBLES BLEED CAUSED. Just saying
  
• Dababy can be dealt with by Helion using Toe to Toe to lock her on Rank 1, which halts the hungering shenanigans from others behind her; try to get Holy Water to get rid of hunger tokens on Helly so you can Toe to Toe again. Other than that just play as normal with the Encore > Chaotic Offering > Emboldening Vapors > Burning Stars setup, use D. Blast as well to try and get Dababy out of Rank 1.
  
• Librarian is okay, try to have a few throwable items on Jester to spend his dodge tokens and try to Encore > Solo > Finale him. Helion can eat the Blinds thanks to Toe to Toe.
  
• The General is the one I worry the most, he has a huge healthpool and only takes 1 action per turn, which makes DOT tick slowly and gives him plenty of time to stall and disrupt you with his stress inducing attacks, Waking Dead and, if you don't deal with the root, Nightmare. I'd avoid fighting him if my team didn't scale enough and I'd bring Cause of Death+ to speed things up.
  

Pets

They are pretty flexible on this team. I like the Rabbit here since everyone has trouble tanking hits, so the bonus HP goes a long way if you get it rolling(HMMM FLAPJACKS). Some good optins are: - The Tick to get the blood for guaranteed crit tokens and huge damage and bleeds - The Owl helps the debuffs from PD to stick and can provide good flow of Combat Items - The Pliskin can be good since the team is squishy and can use more sustain between fights - The Slime if you like running over debris and don't want to deal with negative tokens - This last one is highly experimental and I still have to test it, but it got to my attention that Larval Carrion Eater can be good as a Crit token Generator, specially since Anamnesis cleaves the whole party. On turn 2 you'd have only 1 UP at your turn which means you can either heal or Sac Stab something. If you have Stab+, you can use it on a corpse, kill it, generate another UP, heal 30%, gain a Block Token and a Crit token for next round, and on that round you'll have 3 UPs at your disposal to spend. This translates to 2 Anamnesis / Burning Stars casted on sequence, since you would spend 2 on this turn, and you would generate another one at the beginning of your next turn. Try this at your own courage and peril (and tell me the results later!)

Summary of the team:

Rank 4: Physician Plague Doctor
Emboldening Vapors Disorienting Blast Battlefield Medicine Blinding Gas* Magnesium Rain*
You can swap these with: Indiscriminate Science+ (heals without limited uses, good for Act 5), Ounce of Prevention for DOTS and disease prevention, Cause of Death+ if you want to nuke some large target that has a ton of bleed stacked into it, after Jester's Finale, you can use since he moves you into rank 3
Rank 3: Virtuoso Jester
Encore Solo Finale Inspiring Tune Razor's Wit
Rank 2: Aspirant Ocultist
Chaotic Offering Anamnesis Burning Stars Sacrificial Stab* Wyrd Reconstruction*
You can swap one of these with Binding Shadows if you're worried about shuffles, on Aspirant it moves you Forward 1 and can generate you a stack of UP
Rank 1 : Berserker* Helion
Iron Swan Toe to Toe Bleed Out Adrenaline Rush Bloodlust*
You can swap Bloodlust with: Raucous Revelry for a heal not dependant on limited uses, stress heal, and on upgrade, DBR Wicked Hack for better damage at rank 2 Breakthrough for Shuffles
As for the * on Berserker, is just that maybe it's a good idea changing the path depending on which act boss you're going against; the ones that came to mind are act 2 and 3. Vs act 2, Bleed Out gets absolutely no value so there's no reason to run Berserker, I'd recomend changing to Ravager for easier management of the lungs. You can also change to Carcass to better deal with high damage since apart from this path she doesn't generate blocks; I had her take every inn item I could buy to give her a better chance at survivability against the Focused Fault, but even then I got a few Deathblow checks; would recommend either running Cause of Death on PD with Berserker, or changing to Carcass to tank with Yawp. I'd also recommend not running Bloodlust if you're running Cause of Death on PD, since it clears all DOT for instant damage, making your turn go to waste, in this case just use Toe to Toe+ to get rid of Winded.
phew... this took a WHILE. Feel free to ask any questions about the team and tell me if you'd want some help with a specific path you'd like to play. ASK AND THOU SHALL RECEIVE
Heheh, have a good one! PS: I'm going straight to bed, but I'll try to answer you guys tomorrow. Good night!

Round 6 Results: With 131 of the 403 votes (32.51%), the 6th album eliminated is Midnights, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, you were bigger than the whole sky 😭🥺😢😔☹️
The album with the next most votes had 84 of the 403 votes (20.84%).
———
Now that it’s been almost 3 weeks since the release of TTPD, I thought it would be interesting to rank all 11 albums together in a survivor-style game!
———
Rules: - please vote here! - vote for your LEAST favorite album each round - the album with the most votes will be removed each round - all of the albums include ALL deluxe/vault tracks (ex: The Anthology, 3am Edition)
———
Updated Leaderboard:
*I will update the 2nd most voted album once that album is eliminated so it doesn’t sway any votes!

1. Midnights 💙🕰️ (2nd most voted album was _)
   
2. Red ❤️🧣 (2nd most voted album was Midnights)
   
3. Lover 💘🌈 (2nd most voted album was Red)
   
4. Speak Now 💜✨ (2nd most voted album was Lover)
   
5. Fearless 💛🫶 (2nd most voted album was Lover)
   
6. Taylor Swift (Debut) 💚🦋 (2nd most voted album was Lover)
   

———
Albums Still Left In The Game:
1989 🩵🕶️
reputation 🖤🐍
folklore 🩶🪩
evermore 🤎🌲
THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT 🤍🖋️
———
P.S.- We are officially down to the final 5! Thank you for all your votes, it would be greatly appreciated if you would share the link to all of your swiftie friends so we can have more data! Please let me know if there’s anything I can do to make this game more enjoyable!

About 4 years exactly with no period, it started today! Day after Mother’s Day! Had noticed some cramps and back pain and bloating but didn’t pay too much attention to it because I have chronic pain. After being weight restored since 3/2023, a little over a year, finally spotting today! I’m so overwhelmed with emotion. I really might be able to have another baby! It’s so wonderful to know that it’s an option after starting to come to terms with possibly being infertile. I was about to get my hormones tested but after so long my doctors had pretty much accepted this was early menopause.
I’m not gonna say I’m totally recovered or ready to take on mothering an infant right now, but it’s so reassuring to know I didn’t permanently destroy my body with the pure hell I put it through - I almost died twice since last January, which is what led me to really strive for recovery. I really started to accept I would never have my cycle again; but wow, the body is so incredibly resilient.

You make pretty regrettable mistakes when you're desperate. Unfortunately, desperation would go on to cost me much more than I ever thought possible.
When I was 19 years old my financial situation wasn't great. In what was left of a crumbling home would be my recovering addict twin sister, and myself. The unfortunate state of our home was all from the even more unfortunate passing of our parents just four years prior. The two hadn't died tragically by any means, thankfully. No.. our parents died of old age, a consequence of having us kids later in life, while not being able to take on the financial burden that would be.. us.
My sister was making the early steps into the college lifestyle, doing her best to stay afloat with my support in funding. Money was tight for the two of us, but as she became more well off on her own, the more content she was with severing the last remaining tie to her childhood.. me.
I didn't hate Xel for her decision, if anything I understood her distancing from this life.. even if it saddened me. So then it was just me! Left to a house with a hole in the ceiling. Believe it or not, life wasn't all to bad even with how considerably down in the dumps it otherwise seemed to be.
However, content as I might have been, it's human nature to want more than you have. Can't say I was to greedy to look for some comfortability in my own home..
And so there it was! The glistening letters of ink outlining my salvation. An advertisement I'd found plastered onto the wall of the small booth I sat at while I waited for the bus to carry me off to work. "$5,000 to those compatible for a recent scientific breakthrough." Under any 'normal' circumstances I would consider this a scam. Hell, I was skeptical as I scanned the letters. Had I been told of this opportunity through spam call or text I would've glossed right over it just as anyone else would have.. but I was desperate.
I think it was the fact that someone, some real person had to have put this paper up on this wall gave me some glimmer of hope for a quick cash grab. Listed bellow the promise of money was details for a number to call regarding interest in the proposition.
I took the bait.. I saw the line, and like some idiot I clamped my teeth down just for that hook to sweep me away.
The corporation I'd come to know as, "The Arsaction," would see me just a week later. There was a brief consultation. They took my weight, age, all things I would've expected. It wasn't until they pulled records regarding my familial situation that I began to find this whole ordeal.. suspicious.
To 'begin' to find things suspicious only at this point is foolish, something I full understand, but I feel the need to reinforce the fact that I, Lex McKarthy, was desperate.
Everything by this point seemed pretty legit. The blood tests, the doctors office, the tests were.. reasonable. What was I to suspect? Everything was so vague, and truth be told I honestly didn't even expect anything to come of this visit. All the doctors, all the consultants seemed so disinterested in my features.. but when they realized I had no one, everything seemed to change.
Suddenly ears perked, suddenly doors closed, suddenly I was.. exactly what they were looking for. Every feature of myself was so painfully average. I was anyman, I was.. nothing. Despite their best efforts to be discreate, I knew it was only the fact that nobody would come looking for me that peaked their interests.
My stomach dropped when I was faced with a pen in my hand, trembling over that NDA. Every fiber of me cursed myself for never considering putting just a minute of research into 'The Arsaction,' however a video briefing would ease my nerves. Nobody knew who The Arsaction was. There was no public record of their existence, and that NDA would make sure that they continued to never exist.
I was stupid, I was irrational, I was in over my head! But I was desperate.. and I had nothing else.
"I have nothing else.. I have nothing else!"
It was a mantra I chanted as I was injected with that substance. The substance that turned my blood orange, made my skin freakishly thin.
And then I went home.
That was it. I was given my sum of money, and I was sent home. They told me I was, "good to go," and no number of questions would get a one of them to speak. I was only met with who I'd assume to be security guiding me out of the building.
Not a word more of what I'd just been injected with, only given instructions to not dwell on mirrors for too long. That was it, just some ominous instructions. So I left, as befuddled as I arrived. Relief washed over me as I made my way home. The anxiety I'd received from such an ominous buildup was all waved by the fact that I was somehow just.. good to go?
Relief quickly turned to panic as the inherent nature of it all being too good to be true set in. I expected to die, I expected some visit from government agents, I expected anything and everything, but as months turned to years.. Nothing ever came of it. No mirror ever caused me any harm, which was its own anxiety I'd have to overcome simply because of the absurd nature or such a request.
I hoped it was.. some prank. Everything was well... for a time. Of course to disturb my peace, my sister called.
I just.. watched the phone ring. My sister, someone who I hadn't spoken to in upwards of 8 years was suddenly ringing me up. When I finally had answered, her question left me speechless.
"Hey Lex. would you happen to remember Mom's recipe for that egg toast? I think I left the cookbook at your place."
I felt my ears ring. The question was so.. casual. She entirely skipped the part where we discussed how she's been, how I'm doing. She spoke to me like we'd hung out only days ago.
At the time I'd thought I was just being dramatic, but looking back on it I can only justify my own hesitation to respond.
"W-..what?"
I stammered like a fool, but I was firm in my disbelief.
"Yeah, it should be in the book on the counter?"
I looked over my shoulder to my kitchen counter, past the toaster I never bought, and over to the book she spoke of. My jaw hung heavy, the whole interaction feeling like a dream.
With one hand I held the phone, and with the other I began to skim the pages of the book letting my eyes linger on mom's cinnamon roll recipe for a bit longer than intended.
"Lex.. are you ok?"
My sister inquired on the other end. I suddenly felt sick.. falling the the ground and laying on my back. This wasn't happening.
"Lex? Are you alright!?"
My sister repeated back more urgently, followed by her assurance that she would be over soon to check on me. But.. no company ever arrived. After hours the line just dropped, and I fell asleep there on that cold, wooden floor, paralyzed with a feeling I couldn't wrap my head around.
When I finally gathered the composure to stand I would try to call Xel back. A frown dawned my face when she never answered. Somehow this didn’t surprise me, and I was lead to believe that she had never called me in the first place. The thing is, the book was still on my counter, and her call was still logged on my phone.
Still, I hadn’t known Xel to do something like this. It wasn’t in her nature to do something so cruel, to act like all this time hadn’t passed.
But it has. Years have gone by and nothing but radio silence from her, a silence I feared would go on. The following days I would continue to attempt to call her, but to no avail.
I had to come to terms with the fact that, as quickly as she had returned too my life, Xel was once again gone. I’m ashamed to admit that, just as I’d forgotten that experience with The Arsaction several years ago, I’d forgotten about my own sister.
Even if she wouldn’t call back, I was inspired to begin looking through old family pictures, and this is where the oddities would start to fester.
I found a picture of Xel and I just.. eating breakfast. Usually my mom was off to work by then, but it was a special occasion. It was a day I remember so vividly. I was 14 years old at this time, and had awoke to the sweet smell of cinnamon rolls filling the air. After all, it was Xel’s and I’s birthday. All was right with the world, all as I climbed from the messy sheets in my dark room. It was abundantly clear that the bulb of the light beside my bed had burnt out over the course of the night, and the closed blinds didn't aid my vision as I stumbled around my room in search of my door.
An oddity presented itself in the fashion of aimless wondering. Where was the nob? One I'd become so accustomed to.. not needing to open? I'd never closed my door. Not the previous night, not ever. Not to the behest of my mother who'd always taken annoyance to closed doors, some trait of my grandmother's to which my mom had unfortunately inherited.
Breakfast took the form of two strips of bacon, scrambled eggs, and slightly burnt French-Toast. My previous assumption of cinnamon rolls unfortunately missed the mark, however I wouldn't object to this. I wish I could convince myself that I was wrong. Something so mundane, something so insignificant to the events in this story, however the first notable instance of a curse that I couldn't pinpoint
My mother had already seen herself off to work by this point, and so I was faced with the responsibilities of seeing myself out to the bus. Some routine I'd become far too used to; The minutes passed, leaving me with nothing to do but wait by the door for a buss that would never arrive.
If the door being shut and the cinnamon rolls being a different meal entirely had left me with a minor confusion, then suddenly being seated in the passenger seat of my mother's car listening to the nonchalant complaints from my twin sister about the nuances freshmen year math shot me into a disarray I couldn't possibly quantify.
I think one of the scariest things for me is the fact that I thought nothing of it. I hadn't freaked out. No scene was made to express what should have been one of the more disturbing instances of my childhood.
I could chalk up the mistaking breakfast for something else as me just misremembering events.. But something unmistakable is the fact that somehow my mom both never drove me to school, yet the fact that she.. always had.
If you're confused, I understand. I am too, because the contradicting nature of my memory is something that haunts me to no end.
Things were easier as a child. That's often the case, but ever sense I stopped aging, I've begun to notice the oddities presented by life that are.. inexplainable. I'm not even sure where to start with researching my predicament.
The Mandela Effect is something that I feel needs no introduction. To those who don't know, the Mandela Effect, in brief, is a phenomenon that incurs when you "misremember" something. Think of a card, now imagine you saw that card as a child and it had a single heart drawn on it's center. Now, years later you are discussing this card with someone else just for them to tell you that the heart you swear, the heart you KNOW you saw.. was a diamond. You tell them they are wrong, you shake your head, chuckle nervously.. But then they present you with the card.
Your stomach drops. This can't be the card, there is no way! Only it is the card, and when you come to the realization that it is in fact the card you'd seen as a child, you are filled with a mix of confusion, fascination, and quite possibly denial.
Most often, the Mandela Effect is associated with silly things like books titles, and board game mascots, but my experience is far beyond such things. It's the only phenomenon I've found that seems even within the realm of explaining my predicament. Problem is, the more I think, the more is wrong.
All of me wishes it all ended with that one childhood experience! But it didn't. In fact, the more I consider my childhood, the more contradictions I notice. Part of me believes I could handle this if it was limited to my childhood, but it's not. This.. experience... It effects my every day!
I'm not losing my mind, I'm just picking up crumbs that I never dropped. Not.. losing my mind, just finding more "mind" than the inventory should account for.
As I stop and think now, I’m understanding that my memories are.. overlapping. Other mirrored versions of myself and my memories will occasionally cross paths, and when they do it causes me to misremember. Not because I don’t remember, but because my memories conflict with one another.
I wish I could see someone about this, but I’m worried the consequences of me seeking someone out.. still, we make dumb mistakes when we are desperate, and I’m starting to feel desperate again.

WARNING: This story contains strong language, mild violence & fictional political radicalism.
(Note, this story portrays the human side in a morally negative light. If you do not like that, then turn back now.)

ULJJAK KASERKOR, ANDZAKTAR, THE HOMEWORLD, ANDZAK EMPIRE, 11,772 A.C. 

Standing in the centre of the Andzak Governing District, in the heart of the Andzak Empire, is the Tree of Civilisation. While there is no direct translation into Human Standard, the meaning of the tree, including its name, stood for the long continuity of Andzak civilisation and the Andzak Empire.
Surrounding the tree were the marvellous palaces of the Imperial Government, the Imperial Advisory Council directly appointed by the emperor among them. The palaces were meant to be opulent and expensive, as if you were a lowly governor coming in from the Outer Provinces, the rows and rows of perfectly symmetric crystalline walls combined with the mirrors to allow the Andzak aristocracy to witness the superb influence of the Imperial Authorities.
Looking into those spotlessly clean mirrors was me, Deputy Governor Uljjak Kaserkor. According to Imperial audits of my activities, I am a "sub-par administrator, foreign to both the Andzak Empire and it's traditions, and the Andzak aristocracy" as Councillor Dlirij once said. In short, they've been looking for an excuse to exile me to a low-ranking advisory position on a third-band world out in the middle of nowhere.
And, as such, I am keeping this diary to myself, so in the event that Councillor Dlirij or one of his cronies tries to bring up charges against me, I am capable of fighting them effectively.
So, what am I doing, thousands of lightyears from my homeworld looking up at the Tree? I am here to report to the Advisory Council of an intense gamma-ray disturbance next to the uninhabited system of [UAG-2113]. Gamma ray disturbances of this scale usually mean the development and testing of superluminal weapons, which are severely restricted under the [Interstellar Accords].
Superluminal weapons are capable of obliterating entire solar systems if given enough energy. The most powerful superluminal weapon ever tested by the Andzak Empire vaporised 3 light-years of space, and fried every unprotected electronic within 117 light-years.
So this means it is understandable that the Empire might be concerned by yet another civilisation in hold of these excessively powerful weapons, especially if they don't know who has them, and they're being tested in the Centauran Reserves, an area that has barely been explored by the Empire due to the Centauran Pandemic a hundred years ago.
By my side, is the Military Advisor Vraxh Huljukrj. To be honest, we don't get along, and while I technically outrank him, stripping him of his rank would be an essential guarantee that the Regional Military Consul would be pissed. Vraxh has gotten into the Armed Forces through nepotism with the Consul.
"So you're bothering the Advisory Council with third-world bullshit just because one sensor buoy near a system nobody's ever heard of in the middle of fucking nowhere read some extra spicy particles?"
Vraxh, for whatever reason, still won't understand the severity of the situation, despite me having explained it to him at least a hundred times over the past 2 weeks we've been travelling here.
"I have explained this to you half a dozen times Vraxh, if you pester me about this decision one more time I will eject the rest of your belongings into space!"
To be honest, I haven't been particularly kind to him either. He kept bugging me with intentionally annoying overexaggerated questions over the 2 weeks we've been travelling here, so while he was in the bathroom, I ejected the bed in his room into the vacuum of space. While he wasn't amused, I found it incredibly funny.
"Okayy, fuck! Fine.."
Maybe I'll have even garnered his false support when the aristocrats in the Advisory Council wonder what I'm doing there.
Me and Vraxh right behind me walked up to the meetings desk. Behind the desk, is a short and relatively aged Andzakian in the uniform worn by imperial servants. He is looking at his holopad, appearing to have not noticed the two borderworlders at the desk. I attempted to grab his attention.
"Hello, sir?"
The imperial servant didn't appear to be surprised, and just looked up at the two with a condescending glare, confirming that he did infact know they were there, and just didn't pay any attention.
"Imperial Advisory Council case #1,714?"
He said the words sharply, as if he had already thought of them hours in advance.
"Yes, sir. A gamma ray disturbance in syste-"
"I don't care. Wait in the lobby, when you are called, arrive on time."
The servant interrupted me rudely, before pointing at a sitting area in the lobby.
I walked over to the lobby and sat down, with Vraxh reluctantly following me. After half an hour of awkwardly silent waiting, the loudspeaker in the lobby called,
"Uljjak Kaserkor and Vraxh Huljukrj, attend conference chamber C-1 immediately."
I immediately got up pulling Vraxh with me, before hastily making my way over to the conference chamber.
The guards at the door opened the heavy chamber doors with a loud thunk.
Sitting in the furthest conference seat was- god damn it, I shouldn't have come!
Sitting in the fanciest conference seat of them all, was Councillor Dlirij, with the biggest shit-eating grin I've ever seen.
"Deputy Governor Uljjak Kaserkor. What matters do you disturb the Advisory Council with this time?" Dlirij said, in generic aristocratic government drone.
I steeled myself with my own government training, before responding through nearly clenched teeth,
"Councillor Dlirij, thank you for coming to address my meeting."
Saying it was my meeting whilst also not using the formal address style was something I knew would piss Dlirij off, but thankfully he couldn't do anything about it according to the formal rules of the palace.
Indeed, Dlirij's grin reduced and he just looked me in the eyes, before saying,
"Deputy Governor, get straight to the point. What do you have to show me?"
I laid out a briefcase on the table, opening it and beginning to explain.
"3 weeks ago, an intense gamma event occured in the uninhabited system [UAG-2113], 3,679 light-years from the Homeworld."
I took a deep breath.
"As you would know as a Councillor, Councillor Dlirij, gamma-intense events in this fashion nearly always signal the activation of a superluminal weapon, legally considered an ultraintense weapon by the Interstellar Accords and thus prohibited for any Interstellar State to possess them aside from the Andzak Empire, the Union of Galactic Republics, and the Ksirlok Dependency."
I paused.
"I am requesting an Advisory Council initiated investigation into what caused the disturbance. If this is not achieved, it could be greatly threatening to the order in the Galaxy."
I then handed Dlirij the papers, which he started to look through.
In the silence while Dlirij looked through the papers, Vraxh had said nothing. I gave him a subtle glare for him to contribute, which he did. He reluctantly said, without thought,
"Councillor Dlirij, the Military Consulate will be the next to be contacted, if we do not succeed here."
I was not pleased with what Vraxh had said. He tried to challenge the Councillor's authority with a threat to go to the military establishment if we got nowhere here. I opted to remain silent though.
Dlirij looked at Vraxh with a glare of anger, before looking back down at the papers.
A few more awkward minutes passed, before Dlirij passed the papers back to me.
"So, you spend 2 weeks travelling to the Imperial Homeworld and the most honourable palaces of the Empire, with your little sidekick, just to bother me, Hasjaxhar Dlirij, with gamma radiation readings from one isolated buoy, nevertheless in the Centauran Reserves, where it has been proven by the Imperial Surveying Authority that there is no intelligent life?"
Dlirij's hand moved underneath the table.
"Councillor Dlirij, I believe you are mistaken by what I have given an explained to you, please-"
At this moment the guards burst through the door, before knocking us both out with the butt of their plasma rifles.
...

SEVEN FOUR EIGHT, NEW YORK CITY, TERRA, ALMIGHTY CELESTIAL STATE, 147 A.R. 

"...Comrades! On this date, July 16th, 147 years since the Revolution, humanity has taken yet another great leap under the leadership of the State. On this day, we have successfully detonated a superluminal weapon."
"A weapon that breaks the laws of the universe, a weapon that propels an object at thousands of times the speed of light, before dropping it back into realspace just before it hits its target. A weapon that, prior to today, the distant enemies of humanity cannot have dreamed of. A weapon that has just obliterated the Wolf 359 star system. Due to the ingenuity of our technology, not only do we get to witness the flash of our excellence, but we can also observe from this distance with our electronics intact!"
"Today, from this date, humanity is not only indivisible, but invincible! We, led forwards by the State, shall never be destroyed by those distant in the void, and our Black Banner shall soon fly on every planet in the Milky Way!"
The crowd cheered.
From my position, it looked fairly typical for a propaganda gathering. Soldiers surrounding the speaking Party official on a tall podium, with the Black Banner of the Almighty Celestial State flying calmly but sternly in the wind. Mounted to structures surrounding the gathering area are various slogans of the Celestial State, among them "HUMANITY INDIVISIBLE" and "THE STARS ARE OURS".
Truth be told, I am not an avid supporter of the ideology or the State. I come from a rural background in the middle of nowhere in North America, and have only joined the Armed Forces because the Party Militia showed up for their quota of soldiers.
In the State, all jobs are connected to, and thus in support, of the Armed Forces. While I was perfectly happy to continue living a solitary life with my family in rural America, I honestly didn't have much choice, and so here I am.
After the gathering, we are told to go back to our barracks and thus be assigned roles by the commanding officer.
I come through the door, and am immediately escorted to the commanding officer with two elite Party Militia members to my side.
"Soldier #7,487,782,311. Due to demand, you are being changed from Military Communications to Reconnaissance starting immediately. You will be transported to the Orbital Station, before boarding a Javelin class reconnaissance ship. The ship will not set sail into the void immediately, so the new crew can get accommodated."
"Got it, commissar. I will be ready in 5 minutes."
The commissar seemed to offer a pleasant nod, before stamping my identity card with the official Government stamp. It read,
"ALMIGHTY CELESTIAL STATE
#7,487,782,311
APPROVAL TO LEAVE THE MANHATTAN DISTRICT
ISSUED BY C.O. #2,349,522 - IF DISCREPANT CONTACT NUMBER ON SLIP"
I packed all of my belongings into a state-issued carrying pack.
Looking at how many belongings I have, pretty much just my uniform and Communication Device made me reminiscent for a time I never lived. How was the world before the Revolution? According to my family, the world was far better before the Revolution. They even had food that they could buy from private individuals, and not just State rations, which I find hard to believe.
The Communications Device had a light next to it's camera that blinked red every few seconds. This was to indicate that the camera was actively recording and watching me. I decided to stop thinking treasonous thoughts, and finished folding and packing my uniform, before taking my carrying pack with me.
After leaving the barracks, I walk past a building with the Emblem of the Celestial State painted on one of the walls, with artistic sunrays surrounding it. There are soldiers saluting the emblem, surrounded by armed party militia, while reciting the pledge of loyalty. I continue walking between two barracks towards the rocket area.
This base is lucky specifically to have it's own dedicated orbital rocket area. If I was stationed out west, I'd likely have to spend hours in the back of a troop transport vehicle being driven to the nearest site.
After a few minutes of walking down the bleak path, I reach the rocket area. There are people queuing to get in the rockets, and I join the queue. All of the soldiers infront of me look at the very least uncomfortable, and some look terrified. While looking ahead of me, a place ahead of me I see a vaguely familiar face.
"Eight one four, do I recognise you?"
His eyes go wide, and he recognises me almost immediately.
You see, this is a childhood friend of mine. Was my neighbour, in the rural countryside and the absence of the state, fuck, even when some parts were controlled by the Resistance, we could play forbidden games from the pre-revolution world.
I moved away from him probably 4 or 5 years ago with my family, which ended up being a mistake. It was in a larger community where the Guards showed up and conscripted me alongside a number of my family members.
"Yes, yes! I recognise you! An-"
Without even thinking, I cover his mouth with my hand.
"Don't!"
His face goes white and he realises the mistake he was about to make, and thus addresses me the proper informal way.
"Seven four eight, how have you been?"
"I've been decent. Can't say too much to be honest. Just bumbled around trying to look for something to do. Then I ended up here. You know how that's like."
Eight four one chuckles.
"Yeah, I know how it is."
We both tried to avoid treasonous language, which prevented us from having a meaningful discussion. It was nice to catch up though.
The line slowly moves forwards. I am close enough to the entrance of the orbital craft to hear a commotion ahead involving my friend.
"Soldier #8,142,327,494! Present your identity documents!"
The Soldier ruffles through his carry pack looking for his identity documents, and after a while, finds them.
"Eight one four! These documents do not have the commissar stamp!"
Two militia members point their service rifles at my unfortunate friend. I am enraged and know what is about to happen, but there is nothing I can do. I look around and see the guardsmen in the guards building, as well as a few guards snipers in watchtowers above us.
I helplessly watch as a third guardsman knocks him to the ground with the butt of his rifle, before he is hand and leg cuffed and escorted away. New militiamen come out of the guards building to take up their positions. I just silently hang my head, performing a neutral expression.
I arrive at the front of the line.
"#7,487,782,311! Your permission slip!"
I feel for it in the pocket in my pants, as that's where I left it.
Except, my pocket is flat, with no identity documents, I frantically feel inside the pocket, and do not feel them.
My face goes white and it feels like my knees are about to give way.
I look inside my carry pack with the guard giving me an intense stare. I find my documents, and hand them to the guard. He checks and verifies them, and I am let past. While walking past the guard, I hear over my shoulder from the other guard,
"Seven four eight. Do not forget the location of your identity documents next time. You know the consequences."
I walk aboard the ship without holding up the line, and sit down in a cramped troop transport seat. It wouldn't matter, entering orbit only takes a few minutes.
I look out of the orbit craft door towards my friend being escorted away into the distance, he gives me one final, depressed look, before him and his escort round the corner.
After a few minutes, the last soldier in the line is boarded onto the ship, and a loudspeaker voice calls to the gathering area that the ships will be leaving.
The landing door closes and the ship shudders. Due to the lack of windows, I have no idea what is going on outside. I am pressed back and down into my seat, as the ship accelerates into the sky.
The acceleration gradually slows until I can only feel the shudder of the ship fighting the atmosphere as it leaves. Gradually, gravity weakens and I begin to feel no weight in my seat.

EIGHT ONE FOUR, NEW YORK CITY, TERRA, ALMIGHTY CELESTIAL STATE, 147 A.R. 

As I round the corner, I see my friend's look on his face. Steeled sadness. I appreciated it in a world of no emotion.
The guardsmen around me had tied my leg cuffs too tightly but were also forcing me to hurry up and walk at their speed.
As I am forced underneath the temporary holding shelter, my leg cuffs are cuffed to a support beam of the structure. The guards then walk into the commissar's office, while a guard in a watchtower keeps an eye on me.
I see the landing ship my friend is on slowly start hover into the sky. Blue plasma shoots out of its 4 engine ports. It stops increasing in altitude, turns around and rapidly accelerates. I see it shoot off into the distance with a vapor cone around it's tail. The extremely loud rumble of it's engines slowly gets quieter and quieter, until it disappears from view.
The guards return from the commissar's office.
Both with neutral steeled expressions return to the shelter. I am held down and injected with a needle, and my vision slowly fades to black.

This will be long, because need to show my side and why I did it. However, I'll try to keep it as short as possible.
I am 33, but in less then a month I'll be 34. This is important because this all happened in May and so I think about it ever year. To make it worse, I saw a post that made me really think about this.
At age 20 in May, I made a decision that lying to my girlfriend. So that she leave me, was in her best interest. Since I was 16 my body started failing me. Wasn't to bad at first. I could still do most things and live normal. However, I was a complete outdoor type before this. If I wasn't working on the farm, I was in the woods. Well, I had to stay inside. Which lead me to MySpace, and then mmorpgs and then anime. Anime lead me to Crunchyroll. A website that was social media basically but with anime to.
I met a girl on here. Was friends for 3 years and then turn into more. Spent almost my entire free time talking to her.
She had big dreams of being a architect and designing a building that would never be forgotten. I wanted this for her, I wanted her to do what she dream of.
Anyway, I had seen what disable and incompetent men have done to women. They drag them down. They just hurt them. My mother, my sister among others I knew. So even at a much younger age. I swore to never drag anyone down. I swore I would be strong enough for whoever I married.
Well by 20, I was much worse. Spent half my time in bed, hurting to much to do anything really.
The relationship wasn't a I ask her out or she ask me out. Was more of a, we both loved each other and so just happened.
When it really hit me, was in January of when I was 20. When I saw how I was just going to causes her pain. So I quickly made up bullshite saying I can't actually love her because I'm autistic(I know beyond stupid and she probably knew it)(i am autistic through). So she swept it under the rug and didn't care at all. Kept the relationship going. Tried a couple more stupid ways but she never took any of it seriously.
Until May, when I told her my life was more important then hers and she ain't good enough for me. (I never let her know about my physical condition) She finally saw me as a asshole and ended it.
Which I believed her hating me, would make it much easier for her to forget me and move on.
She before this was talking about taking time off and coming to visit me and other times living with me. I saw the future of her giving up her dreams or I weighing her down. I saw her future being hurt by me. Because I couldn't even make it through college from missing to much. I would not be able to get a job. I would only hurt her, I couldn't stand the thought of me doing to her. What I saw my father do to my mother.
So getting her to break up with me and always hiding my sickness from her. Never talking on phone or camera when I was doing bad.
Should I have just been honest and broken up with her.
Last thing, I wanted to marry her. My dream growing up, was to have a happy family.

Be warned: long rant
Is this even legal? I’m a double major and I had 4 in-person exams that week that all required prep (obviously). CalCentral said the exam would be on Friday then the prof gave us a 3-day notice that they’re going to post it on Sunday night then expect it back by Tuesday afternoon. I emailed them three times saying there was literally no way that was happening as I had exams back to back Mon-Thu, and finally got an extension until Thursday DURING MY EXAM out of them.
Worked on that shit for hours and hours over DAYS trying to finish it, and it eventually compromised two of my most important exams and still took over 20 hours to finish. Spent Wednesday night unwillingly doing 12+ hours of work ALL NIGHT (zero hours of sleep) and walked into my last exam sleep deprived, in physical pain, and having not eaten food for two days.
I made around 50 on the final for a class that I’d been making 95 or above on the ENTIRE semester, and looking at my graded answers, they are really obviously confused and slurred and they look as if I completed the exam while under the influence. I made a 99 raw score on the midterm and then an entire SD below average on the final. Actually ridiculous, but I have no clue what else I could have done better as I really believe my RRR and finals week were spent at max efficiency and it still could not accommodate a fuckign 20+ hour final exam during the week.
The description for the exam said it was “designed to not take over 3 hours”… It was 10 multiple choice, ten 150-word essays, two 400-word essays, and one 1000-word essay. (For reference: in 12pt Times New Roman double spaced, 1k words is about 3.5 pages, 400 words is about 1.5 pages) THREE HOURS??????? Even if you used ChatGPT for half the exam it would have taken a normal person 10+ hours to finish. Moreover, the midterm was similar in structure and I received a 89 on it despite getting everything right for vague af reasons like “could use more analysis”. So it’s not even like they grade kindly.
How the fuck is this legal? I’m greatly upset about this because it pushed me down from an A+ in a class instantly to a B- or C+. There was absolutely no way to manage my time so as to avoid this. I emailed them early in RRR week to ask if I could actually complete the exam EARLY so as to avoid this, and they ignored me for 4 days and responded Monday morning, less than 24 hours to the deadline.
I really feel like there has to be something I can do about this. It might not have compromised people who only have humanities exams or projects due to spend an entire day finishing this, but that is not the case for me as I am a social sciences-STEM double major. It’s not even about the exam itself at a certain point, it’s the blatant failure to communicate on the instructor’s side, who told me they “thought this had been resolved already” four days late and initially tried to give like a 12-hour extension instead of until Thursday (which was still unreasonable considering I explained how I was fully and utterly booked until 6PM that day). No clue how others did not have a problem with this but I suppose most of them are not pursuing STEM with their degree.
This is really just a rant but holy hell, after a week of sleepless and foodless days I’m getting a C on my report card after getting 95–100 every single exam and assignment this semester in one class. wtf

Hello, last night I was enjoying myself in a bar in Mangwon, when I was challenged to an arm wrestling match by a fairly muscular young Korean man. This happens often because I am pretty big guy (6 foot 3 inches and about 300 pounds). I often try to decline because I have had tennis elbow in my right arm due to lifting, and I just don't like it.
He was pretty persistent and after I declined about 8 times, I finally relented and did it when his friends and other bar patrons watching. He was pretty intense about it, and call it pride, but I didn't want to give up either. Both of us probably had terrible form, as I can say for sure I've never arm wrestled in a sanctioned manner. After about 15 seconds in, there was an audible crack, he shouted in pain, and went completely white. A bone in his forearm most likely snapped. He was taken by his friends to the hospital, and the owner (who is a friend of mine) called the police just to be safe. I don't speak Korean well, but it seemed the police thought it was more funny than serious after seeing me, and how worried I looked. There were witnesses and CCTV showing that I declined many times, but I've heard in Korea I can still be on the hook for damages.
Has anyone ever experienced a similar situation, hurting a local in a sporting event or something, and what were the results?