Cute poems for best friends

I’m sorry but I just have mixed feelings about this and needed it off my chest. I needed some advice to process the unfamiliar emotions I’m having.
TLDR, my(21) friend (18) is trans, are threatening their family to allow them to get HRT or else they will drop out of college just get a job to afford private care and even fake harming themselves to just get priority access to public services.
So I have a friend who’s trans. Let’s call them G. We are both from the same country (in Asia), have seen each other plenty of times and we chat enough to know each other pretty well.
G just started college few months ago studying animation while I’m at the end finishing my degree very soon. G is dependent on their family while I currently am living alone and am rather financially independent.
I myself have also transitioned few years ago so I understand the need to access gender affirming care and how difficult the process is. However our backgrounds are VERY different. I was hospitalized in the past due to attempts and already had access to both psychiatrists and clinical psychologists since middle school. Which means I don’t need to wait ~2years to get a referral letter. In the end I used my doctor’s letter from public healthcare to get private hormones easily. Sure it was expensive but I worked while studying, along with a decent scholarship.
Throughout my puberty years I was extremely depressed and had other problems. That was why I mentioned how transitioning has helped me immensely to a point I’m thankful to be given a chance to once again be able to blend in society and function like a normal human being. G has seen how much I’ve changed over my university years and felt like they “have to catch up”.
Here comes the conflict. G never had any experiences or need when it comes to psychiatric help so they started doing more research and asking me how to get access to HRT through public healthcare. I was pretty cool and supportive knowing how helpful it is. I told them I skipped the “waiting for a psychologist” part so I can’t offer any detailed advices on that.
Over the next three months the frequency of this topic being brought up has significantly increased as they started getting inpatient. They told me they do not want to wait any longer and are seeking private care since they feel like 18 is already too late to start. I assured them they are not too late and it’s best to communicate to their family first since G is on good terms with their family while I live alone and do not need to worry about my safety. G came out to their family hoping to receive financial help which received mixed reactions. G’s family came to a conclusion that G is currently a bit too impulsive and should wait for public healthcare. Most importantly is that G’s family is NOT in a financial situation that could allow G to transition privately.
G came to me furiously and complained how their parents are not understanding and how they also needed it to feel happy. I explained to them our situations are a lot different and if they can’t afford it they could focus on their studies and get a nice job while waiting to have their first public healthcare appointment.
In the next few weeks G has shared the ultimate plan, they repeatedly told me they are failing their classes purposely so their family had no choice but to allow G to drop out and get a job. Which allows G to earn money and transition privately.
I disagreed that this was a good idea and how G shouldn’t give up on being an animator just for a shorter waiting time. And this was when G started arguing that I wouldn’t understand their situation, how I had the privilege to get access to psychiatric help due to hospitalizations and maybe they should do it too. I quote “Maybe I should walk in the ER and whine about how much I want to die when I obviously don’t want to so I could get the same medical attention as you”.
I was of course deeply hurt by these words. That period was when I was the most vulnerable and I only open up to people I trust. I worked hard to regain the balance of my life and to get invalidated like this makes it unacceptable. I left the voice chat immediately after that. The next thing I heard is G messaging me saying how G’s family is now transphobic because G threatened to kill themselves if G’s family doesn’t allow G to transition now.
I only replied with a question “Are you in danger? Do you need a place to stay” which I got the answer “No I am fine they are not kicking me out”.
And I just never replied knowing they are safe. I was never close to my family and had to find places to stay overnight just to avoid them fighting when I was a teenager. This whole situation just makes me sad and guilty. I don’t know what to do and I feel like I motivated G to let this happen. I don’t even know what to do or say in this particular situation. All I ever wanted was some peace. And looks like it’s not ending soon

TLDR: loving the Botox right now. 40ish year old female.
*****
I got Botox in my armpits about 2 weeks ago for hyperhidrosis. First time treatment. So far, this is my experience. I'll break it down by my treatment experience first. Then I'll break it down on how the outcomes affect my life.
Treatment Experience

• I have never had the worst hyperhidrosis, but enough that it affected my life (more on that later). It only really affects me in my armpits.
• I have visited GPs (GP = general practitioner) about this many times in the past, and they just prescribe me medical strength aluminum that I have to put on once a week. I have tried this a number of times during my life, and it was never effective. When I was 19 years old and tried this, I actually got red burns in my armpits that made me cry they were so painful. Reflecting back, I was probably putting it on too frequently.
• I am originally from the US, and have lived in 5 other countries. I moved to Italy about 1.5 years ago. I visited my GP and asked for a Botox prescription and he happily gave it to me after I described my experience. Though I have access to the public health care system in Italy, the wait times are very long. Like most people, I carry private health insurance as a result. I wanted my treatment before summer started, otherwise I would have had to wait until November for an appointment in the public system.
• My appointment was with a neurologist in Milan. The procedure took about 15 minutes. There were around 20 pokes in each armpit. I have a high pain tolerance. I would rate this a 2 or 3 out of 10. Very pokey. I just took some very measured breathing to calm myself through it.
• The cost was €340 without insurance. My insurance covers the procedure. I have Googled other procedures in other cities and at cosmetic clinics I can see it ranging from 700 to 1,000 for a treatment.
• My neurologist told me that I would feel the effects within 4 to 10 days, and that they should last anywhere between 4 to 9 months. Some people report the effects are gone by 2 months, but he cannot treat me again before 3 months otherwise I can develop antibodies to the procedure.
• I already felt the effects on days 2 and 3, and everything was definitely in full swing by day 4. More on the effects/outcomes next.
• My neurologist did tell me that hands are more painful but all of his patients come back for their repeat treatments because the outcomes are worth the pain. He also offered that if I get underboob sweat that he can treat me there too (I declined this first time).

Outcome Experience First take:

• I would say that my sweating has dropped by 90-95%.
• If I do sweat, it just has a more "normal" acceptable odor to it rather than being gagging rancid.
• I am still wearing deoderant for the 5-10% but I only need to apply once a day. And some days I forget to apply.
• Even if my insurance didn't cover this treatment, I would pay for it out of pocket. I would not visit a cosmetic clinic though because their prices are higher, I would simply visit a neurologist and pay out of pocket for the treatment there (which is what I do anyway, run the credit card and get reimbursed by my insurance company).
• I have not noticed any increased sweating anywhere else on my body, however summer really only just started so will be monitoring/journaling that one closely.

It is almost hard to have known how badly my sweating affected me until after the procedure. Some of my own reflections:

• Ghost Sweat/Smell and Anxiety/Panic: It's going to take me a long time to lose the sweating/smelling panic and anxiety. I have this almost phantom sweating now. I go about my day, I think I feel that I'm starting to sweat, then I panic about "oh gosh, now I'm out in public and I'm going to smell bad and my shirt will be ruined and I will have to change before I go to dinner later and darnit I should have brought my deoderant with me and yuck I hope no one can smell me right now and I'll just keep my arms squished down to tightly pack the smell in there until I get home". And then I do a sweat and smell check - and there is nothing. No wet stains. I smell absolutely fine.
• Wardrobe Options Unlocked: Pre-Botox I would say that I was very limited in wardrobe options. I bought/wore maybe 10% of the possible outfits that I would actually like to wear. Shopping freaking sucked. I would not buy any clothing tops or dresses that touched my armpits. Period. So all of my clothes were either tank tops with a kimono or other cover top I could easily swap out when it got too sweaty/stinky, or very loose t-shirts. Nothing form fitting, ever (except swimsuits and tank tops). Even tank tops I was very particular that the lower portion needed to dip as low as possible, I could not wear any tank tops where the arm pit was tight/touching. It's crazy to think of the wardrobe styles and colors that have been unlocked now.
  • One story I tell my friends was a few years ago I was speaking at a conference of around 100-150 attendees. This is a normal part of my job, I love public speaking and thrive on it. Even so, I will of course get a bit anxious in the 1 hour before I go on. For this specific conference, I had worked with my executive coach to buy a new top that had a pop of color - something memorable - in bright blue silk. Luckily I was staying at an Airbnb about a 10 minute walk away from the facility. After arriving in the morning, within 30 minutes I looked down and I was soaking wet through this bright blue silk blouse, with wide water marks. I was horrified at my rookie mistake. I immediately ran back to my Airbnb, changed into my dull frumpy black top and black sweater, and then ran back to do my speech/panel.
• Travel Packing: Holy heck now I realize how people can travel so light with just a backpack. They can re-wear most of their clothing. I have always needed to bring a lot of change of clothes. Not necessarily bottoms, but tops yes. Because even though I might have the ability to at least hand wash, it may take too long for them to dry before I need to wear them again. So I just pack a little bit more clothes to be safe. Just this last week I never had to do laundry and I was on a 10 day trip, and I re-wore every top I put on at least 2-3 times. Some clothes I never even wore because I didn't need to. I have unlocked so much more possibility for traveling light.
• Cute Airport Looks: I am a person that believes you should look nice when you travel, and since you never know who you are going to meet then you should look your best to be ready for such random encounters. But, I never got to be that person because of my sweating. "Travel Day" (arrival and departure) was always just planned around the outfit that would make me sweat/smell the least. I wouldn't even bother putting on makeup because I felt gross and wet and stinky anyway so why bother? Usually by the time I got to the airport, I was already wet and smelly from going up and down stairs and taking public transportation, just trying to hide it for my flight until I could change and reapply deoderant. But now? I can look cute when I travel. Today I hauled my suitcase to the airport, flew home to Italy from the Netherlands, with no sweat and no smell. I'm really looking forward to finally being able to "dress cute" at the airport and feel confident in myself.
• Intimacy: Pre-Botox I would make my outfit and dating choices around my sweating. I would have to really analyze the situation, the weather, whether we would be sitting outdoors or indoors or in air conditioning or not, if he had air conditioning at his home or not, all to determine whether or not I would go home with him. All of that anxiety about sweating/smelling meant that intimacy was never spontaneous, always planned, which I hate. Additionally, if the stars did align for something spontaneous (perfect outfit choices for the setting) then if I got to his home and realized I didn't have any deoderant with me I would check his bathroom cabinet for spray deoderant. If I found spray deoderant that I could use to top up before getting sexy and to top up again in the morning, then I would stay over. If not, I would leave and go home. Another example of one my crutches: I would always stink in the morning so I would try my best to wake up before him, run to the bathroom and apply deoderant, and then come back to bed before any morning intimacy began.

Overall, 10 out of 10 will get the procedure done again when the effects have worn off.

tw: suicide
hey, first time asking about something like this cuz ive never had to before. Its about my girlfriend. I love her to the moon and back. We've been dating for 16 days and i still feel like id do anything for her. Its not like she's my first gf tho but still. Well anyway lets get to the point im writing this in the first place. To give you a bit of a backstory, her and I have never met irl. We've only met thru insta and it has been that way. (Though we plan on going on a movie date once the haikyuu movie comes out). She lives pretty far away from where i live (around 10kms or 6 miles) so it's not easy to meet as it takes like an hour just to go and come back. She's very emotional and has always been so appreciative of me. I feel like i dont deserve her sometimes. And i always try my absolute best to return the energy. Recently though, she's been feeling worse for some reason, last Thursday she just didnt talk to me or any of her friends all day and it got me worried. later she told me that it was because she felt very down and felt like trash and wanted to kill herself but didnt. I was worried sick all day bc of her not responding to any of my texts or calls and hearing that just made me feel even worse. She's very emotional and gets sad very easily and according to her bsf she feels like these often and has been having suicidal thoughts before too. I felt like it was my fault she felt this way. She overthinks a lot and i thought maybe it was because i went out with friends and I was standing next to a female friend of mine? or even that i didnt message her for an hour and half bc i didnt want to distract her since she had an exam the next day, and when i did message her after that hour and half her replies we're so dry i could tell something was up but she didnt respond to my messages after that. Well after that day it went pretty normal for the next 3 days until yesterday she didnt respond to my messages after like 6pm, before that she sent some reels but i couldnt reply to them as i was in coaching and only replied to the top one. After it ended i did reply to all of them but she didnt reply after that. Seconds became minutes, minutes became hours, but still there was no reply. At around 9 or 10pm she deactivated both of her instagram accounts, main and spam. I contacted her friends but they had no clue what happened either and just asked me "what did you do mrin?". I even tried reaching out to her through discord but she still hasnt responded. Its been over a day and im worried sick. What if she did something to herself? What if it was me who made her feel this way?? I just wished that she would share these things with me. Her bsf told me that she has a tendancy to not tell people about what she wants and then later gets disappointed when the person doesnt act as her expectations and then feels bad about that. i just miss her man. I dont know what to do. I wish i could just go over to her house. Im just so confused as to what happened and what to do. Everything was going perfect before this, i just wish i alteast knew what happened with her. Im worried sick man. I just have no idea what to do or what even can i do to fix anything like this in the future?? Is there even anything i can fix???? Anything, any help is appreciated. Please.

I have some players who struggle to imagine new characters so I've created some additional backstories to help them having something to RP from for the first few sessions.
I'd appreciate some feedback before I implement this in our upcoming campaign.
The idea is that the characters have just been through some very tumultuous events (their villages being invaded and destroyed) and are not entirely whole as a result.
Players make a choice from the first list on how their character reacted to these traumatic experiences, and then get the corresponding backstory + hindrance from the second list. Eg., if they choose "The Road to Hell", they get "Insecure".
The hindrances they get are not meant to be permanent, and I'll encourage them to roleplay them to a conclusion, after which I'll come up with a reward that fits.
Player choice:

1. THE ROAD TO HELL You are righteous and confident in your abilities. You gather a group of followers, train with them… and then lead them to their deaths. The sole survivor sticks around, though you aren’t sure why.
2. MOST FRIENDSHIP IS FEIGNING You are confused, lonely and hungry. A group of survivors share their meal with you and invite you to sit by their campfire. You travel with them, and over time, they start to demand favours to prove your friendship.
3. FLUSTER’D WITH FLOWING CUPS You find solace in drink, and it slowly takes over your life. You isolate yourself from the friends and family who remain, and get drunk. Every day.
4. AND RAPT IN SECRET STUDIES Faced with the undoing of your way of life, community, and world, you react… by focusing even harder on your work. Ongoing events all seem so distant and irrelevant, compared to honing this one particular talent...
5. WITH GAIN SO FOND You become obsessed with the village smith’s family heirloom, a famous weapon. During the final attack on your village, instead of facing the invaders, you sneak into the smithy but are discovered mid-theft. You leave the place with the weapon in hand, covered in blood.
6. BLUNT NOT THE HEART As the indignities and deprivations pile on, something finally snaps. In response to a perceived insult, you viscously attack a close friend and leave them seriously injured. You are chased away from your village.
7. GOD HATH GIVEN YOU ONE FACE A practicing member of your religion, you react to the events by deepening your devotional activities. Those around you are inspired by your faith. Yet under the surface, not all is as it seems.
8. NEVER TASTE OF DEATH BUT ONCE When bandits waylay the refugees you are traveling with, you stride forward to stop them. Surprised by your ferocity, they run away, leaving one of their own dying on the ground, and yourself seriously injured.
9. O, WHAT PORTENTS ARE THESE? You did what you had to do to survive the disaster. You did things—questionable, unsettling things—that you will never forget, though the only witness left is yourself.
10. IT IS A TALE SIGNIFYING NOTHING The events passed by in a blur. You don’t recall taking any actions to survive, and it must be by sheer good—or bad?—fortune that you do. You dust yourself off and carry on, but can’t shake the feeling that life is passing you by.
11. LOSE THE GOOD WE MIGHT OFT WIN Throughout the crisis you do your best to help those around you, sharing the little you have and sparing no energy in the defence of others. Your efforts make hardly any difference at all, but you can't shake the feeling you should have done more.
12. TO THINE OWN SELF BE TRUE You navigate the crisis by trusting your instincts. Never mind that you leave behind you a trail of wrecked friendships, resentment and destruction… you’re still here, and that’s thanks to following your gut.
13. HE HATH EATEN ME OUT OF HOUSE AND HOME You turn to the contents of your larder to deal with your deep sense of despair… a larder that is supposed to feed several others during the crisis.
14. THAT SOMETIMES SAVOURS NOBLY Your limited resources are spent increasingly on just surviving… when you see others who have managed to hold on to their precious objects, you feel a deep, dark jealousy.
15. WILL AS TENDERLY BE LED The events you witness reawaken an instinct that has been suppressed since and a period when small village animals turned up decapitated, flayed or dismembered.
16. MY DULL BRAIN WROUGHT Your reaction to the events… what events?

Result:

1. INSECURE Your self-confidence is broken and you constantly doubt your own abilities. Lose 1 Empathy. Your Pride dice is a d6, not a d12. Gain a follower who does not require pay, but who you feel is always watching your actions... judging you silently?
2. GULLIBLE The crisis has accentuated your trust in others, to a fault. -3 to Insight (this can be a negative number). Lose your starting money. You can ask your new 'friends’ for favours, but they’ll expect more in return.
3. ADDICTED When your village is burned down you are so drunk you don’t notice, and wake up in a smouldering ruin. You must drink wine, mead or similar every day, otherwise you take 1 agility damage when waking up for every day missed. You also struggle to drink moderately, becoming drunk unless you succeed an Empathy roll.
4. INDIFFERENT You view events around you with impatience, thinking only to return to your life’s work. Lose 1 Wits. Increase one of your starting professional talents to rank 2.
5. COVETOUS You acquire the object of your desires, but at what cost? Gain a d8 artifact weapon or helmet; you must describe it's origin, as you understand it. All remaining members of the village will recognise it. Anytime you leave it behind or it gets damaged, and for every Quarter you are separated from it, suffer 1 Empathy damage.
6. ANGRY Fueled by rage, you set about your work with new intensity, but it threatens at all times to boil over. Add a red d6 to all your rolls. On a 6 it counts as a success (X) but on a 1, you attack the nearest person until you, or they, are unconscious. Gain the Berserker talent.
7. FRAUD The heights of your religious performance are matched only by the depths of your doubt. Everyone looks to you as an example, and you cannot admit to them--or yourself--that you no longer believe. Maintain the trappings of devotion: 1. gain a Heavy religious icon you must carry at all times, 2. pray for a quarter every day, 3. give half of your earnings to the poor and 4. always help those in need. Every time someone sees you fail to do one of these, take an Empathy damage you can only heal by carrying out that action.
8. MAIMED Your right knee has never been the same and moving too quickly becomes agony. You must succeed an Agility roll to run as a Fast action. The refugees you saved idolise you and will always take you in.
9. TRAUMATISED Your nights are haunted by your actions, though they may have been justified. Every quarter you sleep, make an Empathy roll. If you fail, take one Empathy damage and become Sleepy.
10. LISTLESS You struggle to find the will to care or even continue. Earn 1 fewer Experience Point per session.
11. INADEQUATE Your efforts are never enough, and you set yourself unrealistic standards you invariably fail to meet. Whenever you fail a roll, take a stress dice. Whenever you roll, roll your stress dice too—on a 1, take 1 Empathy damage for every stress dice you have. Sixes counts as a success (max 1). Sleeping reduces stress dice by 1.
12. IMPULSIVE You would describe your behaviour as ‘instinctual’ or ‘spontaneous’, but the people around you—and those who know you keep a distance—use words like ‘impulsive’ or ‘unpredictable’. You must use Willpower points in the game session where you gain them; you cannot store them between sessions.
13. GLUTTONOUS Food becomes a comfort for you, then a hobby, then an obsession. Decrease your Agility by 1. You must consume two Food per day. If you do not, you become Hungry.
14. JEALOUS You cannot bear to see others receive more than you. Any time another player receives greater benefit or reward than you, take 1 Empathy damage. At the start of every day, if another player has something nicer than you (eg., better armor, an artifact when you don’t have one, etc), take 1 Empathy damage.
15. SADISTIC You are obsessed with harming other beings. Gain one fewer experience point per session. Each time you harm another being, you gain an experience point (max of 2 per session). To qualify for the experience point, the harm inflicted has to be greater than the previous times (this counts within a session as well as across sessions)
16. AMNESIAC Your memory and sense of self have been scattered to the four winds. Can you piece yourself back together? You get -1 to all skill rolls. Each time you succeed in pushing a skill roll in reaction to a real danger, you remove the penalty from future rolls for that skill, and you recover a piece of your memory that you may choose to narrate to the group.

My inability to control my emotions has been plaguing and ruining my life since I was a teenager.
I'm not a bad person. I don't think badly of people. I want friends in my life, I want acceptance. I want people to see me as someone they can confide with and talk to, but in a split second if my emotions get triggered by something I just lose it. I'll either cry, get extremely defensive, or get angry. It's been like this for years, and despite how much better I've gotten since starting DBT treatment at therapy and learning how to control it better, it still tries to sneak through the cracks. I feel like shit now.
Yesterday I was visiting the grave of someone who was a good friend of mine when I was 12 years old. It was a long time ago and I only knew him for a year, but him being gone by suicide has been hurting me for a very long time. Sometimes I break out in tears out of random because he appears in my head. I can't listen to certain songs because of him. He shows up in my dreams and it ruins my day. The point is he meant a lot to me as a good friend who left too early, and so I visit him yearly at his grave to talk to him. I'm extremely emotionally passionate about this person. It's a very sensitive subject for me.
This year I went to his grave and spoke to him for a little while, and when I set my flowers down on his grave I took a picture of it. This picture is not to be shared, it never was; it was strictly so that I could see it and remind myself that I went, so I could see the grave even when I'm not there; I lack transportation. It's a way of coping with it. It's probably bad to do, and I'm sorry. I get it. You don't need to yell at me that it's bad because I know it is now. Just refrain from that right now, please.
I didn't know that at first, I didn't know if I should've felt guilty, but I ended up asking my friend group if it was wrong of me to take a picture of a grave. One of them said that, yes it was wrong. I respected his opinion, and said that that was fine. I did ask for an answer after all, so it was all on me. That didn't upset me.
But then he continued the next sentence with, "Graves are for rememberance, not for your entertainment", and my heart stopped. I became so angry and upset when he said this that I was starting to lose control of my thoughts. It didn't help that I was too distracted by something outside of texting that I didn't give myself the time to think before I replied. I responded very angrily at him and said "F*ck You" and "how dare you accuse me of finding entertainment out of my best friend dying". I was absolutely livid in the moment.
When I first read what he said, in my mind it sounded like he'd told me, "I'm being entertained" by my best friend's death, as if I'm finding enjoyment out of it, and by how much this person's death has been affecting me in the many years since he's been gone, it enraged me. I couldn't control myself and I just snapped at him.
Over time despite still being upset by the "entertainment" statement, I felt shitty that I reacted that way a few hours later. I sent him a lengthy message apologizing for my response to him earlier, and despite him being online multiple times, I got no response. I'm being actively ignored.
I hate emotional disregulation. I hate myself, so much. Even when I feel like I've gotten better, it still tries to effect me, it still sneaks through the cracks and makes me feel like I absolutely have to defend myself from something so awful that wasn't really that big of a deal in the first place. I read too much, I overanalyze, everything seems so personal against me. It's torture. I can't keep a stable group of friends because I chase them off.
I'm such a goddamn child and I hate myself for it. I've lost so many good friends because I just can't control my emotions. It's so humiliating and dehumanizing to myself that I can't just act like a normal goddamn human being who responds in a mature, acceptable way, instead of having an adult temper tantrum. Me feeling this way always begins the same way, too. I feel regret, it snowballs into me hating myself, then I try to push people away on my own terms, I log off of everything and not speak for hours to spare people from dealing with me. I feel like a monster. I cry myself away as I play video games to try to distract myself from all the damage I do.
This shit is torture. I hate it so much. I am no doubtingly a biproduct of my father's abuse and I can't even dare have children of my own out of the immense fear that one day I'll hurt them too. I hate myself. I hate that I was born to pass down the line of being an abusive asshole like my father did. I truly don't believe I deserve any of the goodness I receive in my life. I feel like I'm a menace to everyone I associate with, and that they genuinely would feel so much better off without me.
Sometimes I'll go for hours in a day just to isolate from everyone because I feel like my friends deserve breaks from my garbage. I feel like an actual monster in a cage who can't communicate without destroying something. I'm doomed to fail and I hate it so much. All I wanted was a normal life. That was literally it. I don't know anymore.

ill be really concise. we were together 6.9 years, super healthy happy relationship. he was my best friend and I his. were both 21, he's almost 22. when we broke up I was absolutely shattered. he wasn't a very functional person for a while, and had tendencies like this this always, though this depression was (and is) a whole new level. he really wanted to die. anyway - after 3.5 months he talked to me and said he made the decision to start really living and not just existing, he wants to "unfuck" his life. he wants me back. he still feels like he wants to die, but he doesnt want that anymore, im super proud of him for that. I love him of course, not like before, but spending time with him will get me back there so quickly. my friends say i need to give him time to get his life together first, to see a change in him, give two months at least. i think that makes sense, and i want to see him rise up and overcome challenges alone, without my support. just give him longer, and i want a little time too. do you think this is the right move? if so - is it ok to see other people in those couple of months? we wont necessarily get back together. I was only ever with him my whole life, and I want to have other experiences as well.. is that wrong? any advice super appreciated

When I finally woke up and saw my abusive shitty family for what it was, I couldn’t ignore that a couple of the friends I surrounded myself with were also horrible for me.
One friend in particular has been throwing up red flags that I ignored for years. She’s only happy when I’m down and out. She can’t be happy for anything good that happens to me, she’s only (vocally!) jealous. She doubted my reasons for cutting off my dad (csa) even though she herself was also csa’ed. She can’t have real conflict resolution bc she denies, gaslights, and victimizes herself.
I finally cut her off. I did the slow cut off to ease it for her a bit bc she’s really unhinged. (When other relationships romantic and friendship have ended she’s stalked the other person on social media, created 5000 fake alias socials to continue to stalk after she is blocked, showed up at their work crying begging to talk, loitered outside their home, said really horrible below the belt shit she couldn’t take back, contacted everyone the other person knew and spread misinformation and garbage, was a total obsessive wreck for months on end, wrote mournful ballads and posted them on social, etc etc)
Sooooo needless to say she freaks me tf out. But I witnessed all this and helped her through it at the time!! Trying to get her to see it’s not worth groveling, to pick up the pieces and move on, etc etc.
I can’t believe I missed how off she was for so long, I can’t believe I thought she was best friend material when all she could offer was to commiserate in our sorrows bc the moment something went well for me she was jealous and dismissive. wtf was I thinking???
And now she keeps texting me. She’s so sad. I wish I could break this off without hurting her but that’s not possible. I guess I’ll just never respond again and she can go through her insane bs if she wants. But I feel sad and guilty and I wish it wasn’t like this. Obviously there are really cool things about her (poet, writer, musician, sometimes wise, an old weed smoking buddy, funny, kinda cool) but those things don’t make a friendship.
I guess I just want commiseration about this. If you’ve ever been through this with a friend I’d love to hear about it to feel less alone.

Hey, folks, it's me, ya boy, Paragon again on a spiritual journey with big G himself as my teacher. I gotta admit he's a pretty harsh teacher at times, but I think we silently understand each other for everything he does.
This time, I'm faced with the dilemma of need for approval outside of myself. I don't wanna get too into the details of it, since I'm sure if I spoke about exactly what I saw, I'd just get naysayers. Let's just say my higher self/God/an entity gave me really solid proof he exists in a way that's perfect for me. And while I'm grateful for it, I seem to have this compulsion to share it with others, namely my friends. And they don't seem to get it at all. I explain my arguments as well as I can, but no one seems to get it. It makes me feel... 'unhappy' isn't the right word, but sort of unfulfilled from it. Like something is missing.
I hate to admit it, but I feel like the only reason why I'm not ecstatic about it is because I've gone unrecognized for this gift. It's almost like the gift itself doesn't matter, and I'm just seeking to feed my ego with something that a higher power gifted to me. Like a kid who isn't happy with the toy he got because his parents told him to keep it a secret from the other kids. It makes me feel quite juvenile, really. And maybe it's just part of my ego speaking, but I don't know if I wanna ask that higher power to get me recognized. I don't know if this is my ego or my spirit, but I'd rather get some deep spiritual lesson out of it rather than fame, glory, or money. I'm not bitter over it at all, surprisingly. I feel like I've grown up enough to know that the universe wants what's best for me; I'm not bitter over it at all.
Can someone give me advice on how to let go of this intense need for approval?

I (f18) would like to start of this post by saying i love my best friend (f18) to bits. She is the best person ever but sometimes its just so hard talking to her when not face to face.
We were talking a couple minutes ago and i send her a video of a girl talking about how she made alot of money after donating her eggs. The convo was going fine until she started going on about how they wont accept how eggs because we have health issues, etc. I thought let me joke around and went on about how we can still try, etc. And i ended up saying, 'gurl you are just pessimistic af, let me dream and be delusional' and she got offended that i called her 'pessimistic' and 'yeah no im sorry if you think im being “sensitive” idc it didnt seem like a joke to me'. I kept on saying its a joke, why would i ever mean it? She has always taken things very seriously in the past as well. I can never play fight with her or be mean in a obviously joking way. And now she refuses to talk to me. AITAH?

My watch is over! My mom is gone. The woman I love with all my heart has been gone for about a year now and just here physically. I don’t feel mad, I don’t feel sad, I just feel empty. I can’t count how many times at night I would go into my room and grieve for the woman I lost. I’ve lost my mom every day for the past year. Every morning I would wake up and go and check and see if she was still alive, and every night I would cry for her. I no longer have to get up 3-4 times a night. I no longer have to worry about her choking when she eats or drinks. I no longer have to tell her that everything is OK and no one is there to hurt her. I have some guilt because I have lost my patience with her many times, but every time I did I apologize to she would hug me to let me know it was OK All the days that I just wanted to be free seems so pointless now. I am free now, but I’m also alone. The woman that loved me unconditionally is gone. I take solace in the fact that she is no longer scared and she seemed to be at peace when she went. I guess because I cried and grieved almost every night for her I don’t have much left to give. I just feel empty and alone. Rest In Peace Mom. I will love you and miss you forever. Good bye my best friend, I hope that dad and Bonnie are with you up there. I’ll see you soon

Have Thursday, but desperately need 3 tickets to each other night, that don't require taking out a 2nd mortgage to afford! ...will be my best friends first shows since the NYE make-ups, my first in almost 2 years, my ladies first live music since getting pregnant with our lil now 6 month old, And the first time all 3 of us seeing the boys together! Lol, even have a babysitter making the 9 hour trip with us, so that we don't have to leave her home, and get show the lil star child the mountains for the first time 😆 anyone out there able to help??? Not looking for a handout, or even face tickets, just something reasonable! Cash and trades available!

My bf cheated on me and I made it worse. Idk what to do
I (16f) found my boyfriend (17m) looking at girls tiktoks who he used to like and has tried to get with before. Ik we are young and I feel immature to even being upset about it but there is a lot more to it. Around a year ago when we first started dating I had a groups of friends I hung out with, I became friends with them after I had broken up with my ex of 2 years who had cheated on me to many times to count, I was alone with no friends during this time because I wasn’t allowed to have any my ex didn’t like any of my friends who I had and I wasn’t very good at making new friends as I liked to stick to my circle. With this group of friends I had I didn’t want to lose they were all I had and we were all so close and got along. While I had a situationship with one of the boys in the group and another had liked me I still wanted be friends with this group while getting with my now bf (17m). I wasn’t allowed friends in my last relationship and I told myself I couldn’t go into that place I was again were I was alone with a guy I didn’t know if I could trust yet, so I continued hanging out with them for about 2-3 months before I eventually cut ties with no drama for my now bf. Fast forward everything goes perfect for months until about a month ago I had a gut feeling and decided to look on his phone, I ended up finding videos of women on TikTok wearing very little clothing ( I wasn’t really mad about that because I didn’t know them there could be no way he would know them in real life or cheat on me with them) AND one of my friends tiktoks and another girls that goes to our schools account, he had looked threw everyone one of their videos at around 12 at night after I had to go home at 11. He had also screenshots my friends account name so he could look it up on his other account. I felt sick so I played it off as I just didn’t feel good and asked for him to take me home and once I walked through the door I sent all the screenshots and proof of the videos the account name being copied all the other girls and said I didn’t want to hear from him. He then at first lied and said it came up on the people you may know slide on TikTok how it comes up and just showed people who you might know, then after arguing a bit more and me saying how he looked her up and screenshotted her account name doesn’t line up with he just stumbled along her account and the other girls account. a few days go by we’re not on the best of terms but we end up going on a trip with a few of his buddies to see another of his friends graduation, a few days after that I ask him to come up to my job on my break to talk and for me to tell him I’m moving (he is also moving to a different town 11 hours away for college in July and I’m moving to a town around a hour away from our home town) and talk about everything that has happened. During our talk he brings up me hanging out with my friends and the guys who liked me in the beginning of our relationship. I explain to him why I still did that and why I needed my friends (he knew about my past with my exs, and how I was kinda sa’d by one of them) he knew I wanted my friends there for me so I knew I wasn’t going to be trapped and felt alone again. At first he let me see them at our town hang out spot while he was there and I was perfectly fine with that then eventually it grew to I couldn’t see them at all. Im upset but I understand. Back to when we were talking , I end up storming out of the break room where we were talking to grab my friend who works with me to talk to her, I explained everything that happens, and I decided to break up with him. A few more days go on and we argue some more and I end up going with my friend who I had the situationship with before my bf to lunch that next school day, and start seeing my old friends again. We end up going to the lake one day and my friend (16f) tells me to f her brother (19m) we end up just lying and saying we did when we did not to get back at my bf for hurting me and doing what he did (I KNOW THAT WAS MESSED UP, that should have never happened for a number of reasons) Everyone hears about it and eventually my bf does too and he says it’s a case and eventually tells my mom about us drinking and about me and my friends brother and I get told to come home to exchange clothing and stuff. I end up getting grounded for the whole summer and I tell them both that we lied about it all and it was just to get back at my bf for hurting me , this almost gets my friends brother in trouble with the cops but my mom believed me when I said we didn’t so she didn’t press charges. Then my bf (now ex) and my friends brother get into a fist fight over something not involving me. And friends brother gets arrested and released.
I apologize this is not well formatted, and apologize for it being a little confusing as it is for me too. I do not know how to handle the situation further, I’m hurt, he knew about what I’ve delt with with guys and he told me I could trust him then he turns around and stalks my friends who are exactly his time, we are all blonds with blue eyes, but they are so much prettier then me and have better bodies, he says I’m the pretties girl in the world but how do I believe that when hes been looking at other girls who are obviously his type, it just makes me feel I’m not good enough for him and he just settled for me.
I just want opinions on what I should do, he treated me perfectly those months in between and we were happy I don’t want to lose that but I know I’ll never be able to trust him again, he probably won’t either. Im aware I messed up and made the whole situation worse and brought more drama into it but it helped me feel better at the time.

(my apologies if i used the wrong flair or if im in the wrong sub entirely)
for context i am 18f and have known for a while that i don’t want to have my own biological kids. like ever since i found out how pregnancy worked. for a little bit i thought i’d adopt, but don’t see myself being a parent AT ALL. tbh i’m kinda scared to be an auntie eventually too 😳
i also know that i don’t want to get married (but might consider a long-term relationship in the future) so a lot of my views are very foreign to others lmao. other ppl have shamed me for the way that i want to live my life, but now i’ve accepted that most ppl just won’t understand and that’s okay.
so i was very surprised yesterday on call w my grandma. when i tell you my grandma is the most blunt person i’ve ever known bruh it’s actually crazy 💀💀. we were talking abt how she wanted either me or my other two siblings (older brother and older sister; they’re both in relationships) to have twins some day since my dad’s two brothers are twins.
i’m awful at remembering what i say in conversation, but i know i said something along the lines of ‘i don’t want kids though grandma, is that okay?’ and she replied surprisingly really enthusiastically and said that it’s a good decision and that it’s best for me to just focus on myself and my (future) career.
also decided to feed two birds with one scone and tell her that i don’t want to get married either bc she mentioned singing at my wedding when i get married. and when i told her she said that she would sing at my graduation instead lmao.
i’m not doing the experience justice honestly bc i suck at telling stories, but it just felt nice for someone to finally accept me and my decisions 🥹. especially bc everyone else (my parents and siblings, friends, even my parents) just tell me that i’ll change my mind in the future/ i’m too young to make these decisions or that i’m setting myself up for a life of loneliness.
TLDR: your feelings and decisions are valid even if others don’t understand 🫶🏽

My partner recently got a job in Denmark that is amazing for his career so we are planning on moving there. I studied abroad in Copenhagen for a year so I have some idea of the country! His job is in Risø/Roskilde but I will be remaining at my job just virtually. We are pretty open to living anywhere and trying to narrow down areas, his current commute is about 30-45 min so we are fine with some commute. We are in our late 20's and enjoy going out to eat and have drinks and go to events. We will obviously also need to find ways to make friends so somewhere where that would be maybe easier would help! Would just moving to Copenhagen be best or are there other towns/cities we should consider? We will also be bringing our dog with us as well so will love any advice on that as well (she's 52 kg and part great dane)!

Hello everyone, I'm a bit late today with this. Tom Brevoort was sick with Covid so we all wish him well. As usual, here's a summary of some of his Substack Q&As. I always encourage people to read the actual Substack itself for the full context of questions and answers, you can find it here: https://substack.com/home/post/p-145215587

Is the Hellfire Gala over? If so, will some other fancy event take its place? It was very fun seeing all the thoughtfully designed and unique outfits based on characters’ costumes and powers, and even more fun seeing those looks brought to life at conventions. Even if it’s not mutant-focused, it’d be cool to see more Marvel galas/fancy parties.

TB: Hard to hold a gala when your island is gone, Joe. That said, we have been talking about a thing that would fill the same spot in the publishing plan that the Hellfire Gala occupied for the past couple of years. But more on that as we get closer to it.

From an editorial stand-point, does this make it difficult to carry Phoenix over into the new era given how powerful she is? The tidbits that have been shared have mentioned encounters with Captain Marvel, The Guardians of the Galaxy, Nova, The black order, etc, which seems to steer in a different direction from the grand cosmic depiction we saw in RotPox 5. Is the intention to tone down her power levels to a more manageable state where she can be teaming up with the likes of the characters mentioned above, or are there still plans to keep her at that grand cosmic level and explore her as a character that is among the upper echelons of Marvel's cosmic hierarchy and deal with such cosmic abstracts and entities?

TB: Phoenix and PHOENIX are going to be plenty cosmic, Phoenix. But it can be a bit exhausting playing at that scale all the time—to say nothing of limiting to the interests of a great portion of the audience. So when it’s appropriate for the story, we’ll go there. But more typically, if you think of PHOENIX as having the scale and range of something like THOR, you’ll pretty well be on the mark.

What can we expect from Madelyne's future in this new mutant era? I would like to see her in the mystical core, but also her image kind of got hyped with X-men 97 and most people outside our bubble knew her

TB: Madelyine will be showing up next in X-MEN: FROM THE ASHES #7 in a few short weeks, Fernanda.

My questions are: Is there any limit to how far a writer or editorial policy can go in trying to "destroy" a character without the risk of ruining them forever? Do you regret making any controversial decisions that have ruined a character or characters? Looking back, do you consider the editorial policy and/or writing regarding Cyclops, Bishop and Beast to have gone too far? And finally, about controversial decisions as bad as those regarding Bishop, Cyclops and Beast: do you consider that ignoring the storylines as if they never happened and moving on would be the best decision, or is it better to give the characters something like what Geoff Johns did to Hal Jordan?

TB: I’ve heard various versions of this question over the years, Joel, so you’ll have to forgive me if I have to chuckle a little bit. But the idea that any creator or any editor is trying to actively destroy the characters is completely laughable. This idea tends to be an outgrowth of the strange fan disconnect where they view the characters as more like real people than the actual human beings who create these stories. Believe me, nobody is ever looking to do dirt to any of the characters. That said, if we’re not challenging the characters and really putting them through a crucible, then we’re not giving you our best. These are super heroes, and so the whole point of reading is to see them struggle against overwhelming odds and somehow through skill and moxy and smarts and luck to find a way to come out on top. Also, these characters have proven to be extremely resilient over the years—they’ve survived a lot of bad stories and short-sighted decisions and it only ever takes one good story to dust them off and get them back into the fight. They aren’t fragile. and so, from a storytelling point of view, the worst, most boring thing that you can do is to be precious with the toys. They’re toys, they’re meant to be played with and knocked around and smashed up. I don’t know which “editorial policies” you mean when you speak of Cyclops, Bishop and the Beast—I suspect what you’re reacting to are specific story choices with which you disagree, which is fine; but this need to inflate them into “policies” is another thing that fans routinely do—but from my point of view, while there maybe have been stories over the years that I wish hadn’t been done, coming to them completely fresh I don’t find a thing wrong with any of those three characters that keeps them from being used and used well—and so that’s exactly what we’ll be trying to do in the months ahead.

Do you have any thoughts on these kinds of "ally" or more benevolent-neutral human characters in the X-Men narrative, and whether we can expect those dynamics to return in From the Ashes? I know you said in a previous interview Stevie Hunter would return, which was very cool.

TB: I don’t know about “allies” specifically, but we’re definitely going to see more X-Men and more mutants interacting with regular human beings right from the first page of X-MEN #1. Not just with X-Men but throughout the Marvel line, I think our heroes are only heroic when they’re saving regular folks, and I find comic books that only feature characters in tights to get pretty boring pretty fast. We need to be interacting with people of all stripes, allies and ambivalent and antagonistic all the same.

As a big Cyclops fan, I found his treatment during the Krakoa era quite disappointing, particularly regarding certain narrative choices that seemed inconsistent with his established characterization. Over the past 25 years, Cyclops has developed into a complex and pivotal figure, especially highlighted by his evolution into mutantkind's leader which started with Morrison's New X-Men until Bendis' Uncanny X-Men. The Krakoa storyline, with its depiction of Scott's relationships and leadership dynamics, felt to many fans like a regression from his previous development, I don't think he would ever accept to be part of a nation with a council with Mr Sinister (the evil nazi scientist who abused and experimented on him as a child) and Apocalypse, the evil genocidal maniac who ruined his son's life forcing Scott to send him to a bad future to save his life and possessed his body (and then used it as a weapon against his friends) leaving him severely traumatized in the process, there's also the fact that going from mutantkind's savior and leader to being once again beneath Xavier and Magneto felt very mean spirited and disrespectful to the writing of many great writers such as Matt Fraction, Grant Morrison, Whedon, Bendis, etc who worked hard developing his character and an era that many fans of the character consider to be his peak.
Given this context, can we expect the new era to realign his character with the growth and leadership qualities he exhibited before Krakoa?

TB: It sounds like you’re looking for a very specific flavor here, John, and I don’t know that I can quite promise you that. (And that comment about Cyclops being secondary to Xavier and Magneto being “mean-spirited” and “disrespectful” is very much the outlook I was talking about above. Cyclops is a fictional character, it’s impossible to hurt his feelings or make him feel bad.) What I can tell you is that we’re going to be featuring Cyclops front and center in X-MEN—beyond that, it’ll fall to you and readers like you to tell us how well we might be doing.

Since you've mentioned Taylor Swift, what three songs of hers do you associate with the three leading titles of the new X-era: Adjectiveless, Uncanny, and Exceptional?

TB: Wow, that’s a good question, Alex. I’d say that X-MEN is Red, UNCANNY X-MEN is Fearless, and EXCEPTIONAL X-MEN is 22.

Forgive me for a longer post. Pictures don’t do justice for the amount of work I’ve put in, not just in the weight room but inner-work. I’ll try to keep it interesting, on topic, with little quirks of my humor sprinkled in (😊). I appreciate anyone taking the time to read this.
Crossposting to the other communities that have helped me so much.
Had a tough time staying focused on the workout discipline side of things, especially during this past winter. (More context below)
I drank beer, mostly, and played a lot of video games (particularly during the covid lockdowns) to get that big, 317 lbs at my peak (I’m 6’ 4”).
Consistently lifting weights (4 days a week, on average) and eating well (80% of the time, don’t touch my ice cream) has been the only “secret”.
I have found, personally, that understanding myself has been equally if not MORE a part of this journey.
CONTEXT: Social anxiety and depression has been a major part of my story: a lot of feelings of “not good enough/useful” stemming from a poor relationship with my parents growing up (not blaming, just aware).
I was a chubby, Michigan-born, homeschooler. Raised in a religious family (Baptist) that kind of disowned me when I started having sex with my high school girlfriend (I went to public high school).
Feeling overwhelmed and swallowed up by the sheer number of people in college, I ran away to the military at 20 (after losing about 40 lbs through jogging mostly, very “skinny-fat” body), and felt like quite a black sheep in that community as well.
Sensitive and gentle aren’t exactly military-issued qualities lol.
After a mental health related discharge, I chased after a girlfriend who was still in college and picked up a job waiting tables and eventually bartending.
Being “the man” behind the bar meant lots of new friends and a lot of phone numbers (it’s cool to know the bartender, kinda thing, that’s not meant as a flex).
Drinking to fit in with these new friends introduced me to this community where no one held others accountable, it was just frolicking and getting drunk together. Lots of games of pool and darts.
I began feeling like I finally was “cool” and had somewhere to fit in.
I met my wife (still together 5 years strong), got married, and changed jobs back to one more aligned with my military training (nuclear engineering), that was 2019.
Well, a few months later lockdowns were enforced, my gym closed up (they went out of business as it was a pretty small family-ran place), and as an introverted gamer I thought life was just grand, at first.
However, the frequent drinking (4-pack of IPAs, 3-4 days a week), lack of exercise, and bored eating all caught up.
I developed gout, became the drunk asshole of every woman’s nightmare, and hit quite a low point.
It was the foot pain that really did me in. I felt so pathetic and terrible: going from a pretty good looking bartender who dabbled in personal training, to being unable to walk up two flights of stairs without being winded and miserable.
A lot of my ego had gone into being “the cool bartender”, the physical pain from my feet forced a “sobering” (pun intended) realization of how far away that “cool” persona had fallen.
After a particularly nasty gout flair up in Jan 2022 I began moderating and seriously trying to lose weight (had rejoined a gym already, but if you look at my chart it hadn’t really changed my behavior much).
Took a match to it all that June, after realizing moderating wasn’t going to get me very far.
I found a project to replace my time with (began studying web design for fun/freelancing, then pivoted to re-certifying as a trainer), read a book called “Miracle Morning”, and started journaling/meditating every morning that I could (I work rotating shift work, so my schedule is consistently tumultuous).
Through that inner work (“mindset” I guess in marketing speech, but that feels not as profound as the experience was for me), I have been able to find such tremendous inner peace and quiet down the voices of insecurity and fear.
I am absolutely still a work in progress, but I am accepting of myself and imperfectly working toward the best potential version of my Self.
That’s actually the big selfish reason why I wanted to post this, fear exposure: I’m a little sweaty while writing this from the fear of sharing lol.
And of course some validation for my hard work, I’d be lying if I didn’t say that some upvotes and “Nice” comments don’t feel good.
My future health goal: At my leanest in the military I still was in the high teen body fat percentages. This is the leanest I have ever been, and the pain I have reclaimed fuel my desire to keep going.
Dieting until I have washboard abs, then I might do some bulk-cut cycles. I amm toying with the idea of some competitive bodybuilding as the next iteration of “holy shit a lot of people are looking at me”.
If you made it to the end, it means the world to me. Thank you.
If there’s anything that I can answer or provide insights to, I’d be genuinely thrilled to help, to clarify, or to share more.

Hypothetically speaking, if I healed my abandonment wound and anxious attachment style would it take away limerence?
In all honestly I do think LO and I soul mates (I believe we all have lots of soulmates throughout life, and not just romantic) but we’re both too damaged to see anything through. I mean we both admitted we’re soulmates earlier this year. We always end up linking back up and there’s definitely a weird energetic connection between us. He’s admitted this multiple times. We’re human magnets.
I hope some day down the line I’m a healthier person and we can pick up where we left off. I know these thoughts are probably mostly there to keep me sucked into limerence. I’m scared to let go for whatever reason. There’s this gut feeling though that we’re supposed to teach each other something. And once we learn, we can move on.
Will there ever be a right time? Should I just accept I will always be limerent towards him? I’m a naturally limerent person, but he’s like the LO of my life it seems. He does care a lot about me and has been truly one of the greatest friends of my life, but my limerence overwhelms him understandably. He’s told me whenever the limerence is bad that he can tell I’m in a lot of pain and always steps away because that’s the only way he knows how to help.
Maybe I’m just naive or in denial and trying to prolong the grieving process. Sometimes I worry I’m even fluffing up the story to make myself feel better, but he’s told me many things that show that’s probably not true.
Regardless of this situation though, I want to be healed and am working towards it. I want to be my best self even without the influence of us becoming friends again.

i (19f) and my best friend emily (20f) have an extremely complicated past; we first met in my junior year of high school when we were both 17, we instantly clicked and had a lot in common. she had a boyfriend mike who was also in our highschool. emily and i had a mostly good friendship but she was only interested in what i had to say when it was something she was interested in, this created some issues in our relationship because i often felt ignored. 6 months into our friendship emily confessed she had feelings for me, i did not reciprocate those feelings and i rejected her. 2 months or so later emily, mike, and i got very drunk on mikes birthday. emily and i started dancing and we kissed, mike then asked if he could join and she said yes. i was 17 at the time and a virgin, we all had sex and i remember absolutely 0 about that night. i honestly don’t even remember kissing her, nor did i want to have sex with mike. i felt very uncomfortable and just wanted to ignore that it ever happened, mike agreed. emily however thought i used her and threatened suicide if i didn’t start dating her, so i started dating her. mike didn’t care if we dated and he continued to date emily separately. i was very weirded out by this situation but i felt like i couldn’t get out of it. i ended up breaking up with her after about 3 months, she did not take it well to say the least. my heart was was never in the relationship, but i was so scared that emily would react poorly or even harm herself physically that i felt obligated to stay till i couldn’t take it any longer. she basically said that she thought i was leading her on and i made her think i liked her. which i did, platonically. also i would like to clarify that we didn’t have sex at all during our 3 month relationship, i did not want her to get more attached, and i just wasn’t sexually attracted to her. this is a very long story and emily and i took a lot of long breaks in our friendship along with her frequent mental hospital stays so pardon me if i forget some details, but i think we took a 4-6 month break of talking after i broke up with her. in that time her and mike broke up. after we took our break i initiated that i wanted us to hang out again, i missed her a lot and i always felt connected to her as a friend. we ended up hanging out and i met fred, her then boyfriend, he and i hated each other at first and we didn’t click, she kept bringing him everywhere and just ignoring him while we hung out. emily started flirting with me a lot, even going as far to try and kiss me in front of fred. it made me super uncomfortable and i felt very violated honestly. i also started feeling bad for fred because he always seemed sad and left out, i began trying to talk to him more and include him in our conversations. we ended up connecting and eventually, became great friends. emily and fred had a very toxic relationship. emily would hold suicide over his head and make him bend over backwards for her. she also decided she wanted to be in an open relationship that was only open to her, so she could date women while keeping him around. her bipolar kept getting worse and she went to over 4 mental hospitals in the span of a year, when she wasn’t in the hospital she would have mental breakdowns and manic episodes daily. she would hit him, scream at him, have him chase her down the street, etc. we both felt horrible for her but i also felt horrible for fred being the one who has to handle it. emily also admitted to me that she is a lesbian, she said she didn’t find fred attractive and was only with him because it makes her life easier and he took care of her. fred would get constantly ignored, she would never help with he had depressive episodes, she relied on him financially, and she never touched him. it got to the point where i started thinking less and less of emily for treating a human like that, i knew what it was like to feel ignored by someone and i started making even more of an effort to hang out with him. about a year 1/2 into fred and emily’s relationship i told fred he should work with me at the restaurant job i had at the time because he was looking for work, he ended up getting hired. emily went on a 3 month long trip and it was just me and fred hanging out and working without her. we had a great time, we realized how toxic emily was in our lives and how freeing it was to be able to have conversations not revolving around her. 2 months into emily’s trip her and fred broke up mutually, they were both emotionally separated from the relationship for over a year by then. about a month later emily was still out of town and fred and i began developing feelings for each other, we did not flirt or anything while emily and him were together but i think deep down we always kinda liked each other. i did not want to tell emily because i didn’t want to ruin her trip or trigger a manic episode which usually resulted in self harm. when emily got back from her trip fred and i were full on dating, i still was way too scared to tell her. a couple months in to fred and my relationship i still didn’t openly tell emily, but i would drop hints and talk about our dates, expensive gifts, ask for advice, etc. and i just kinda assumed she knew we were together. ignorantly i thought she wouldn’t mind because she said she was a lesbian and wasn’t even romantically interested in fred, but oh was i wrong. i ended up saying something about fred’s beard being annoying when we kissed and she flipped tf out, it was incredibly awkward and i was literally shaking. i said “i just assumed that you knew sense i talked about him so much” and she said “i just thought you were close friends”. she was extra offended because i wasn’t hanging out with her nearly as much because i opted to hang with fred instead. she was never that good of a friend to me and fred made me feel way more heard and supported. fred and i have been together 8 months now, we’re in love and happy. fred has a lot of past trauma from the relationship but he has improved so much, i always make him feel appreciated and attractive. emily and i have only talked a little sense the debacle but i think our friendship is basically done. i still miss her sometimes but i know what i did is irreversible and our relationship will never be the same. so am i the asshole for getting with my best friends boyfriend?

A young couple stares at the stars, sighing contently, and wondering how life could ever get better than this. Thinking about the day they will get married, the day that they will move in together; the young couple grin, leaning into one another, speaking in hushed tones.
They squeeze conjoined hands tighter, as another happy possibility washes across one, and they get to share it with the other.
“Perhaps we’ll get a cat!”
“Or three!... we could live in a boat”
“and travel across the sea!”
“Would we live there for a year?”
“As long as we’re in our prime!”
“In that case, I think we’d manage until the end of time!”
They burst into laughter, rocking gently back and forth, and when the noise subsides, they are left in sweet harmony, knowing they’ll be together forever.
Little did they know that this poem was written from the perspective of their daughter.
They never got married or went on holiday.
Only stuck together, by their children, whom they remind of the matter by the day.
Once holding hands, now only holding resentment, of everything that built up;
Never enough money, or time, of friends, or something as simple as talking.
But still, they were right, they will be together forever. Not because of any love left between them. In fact, it's the sheer opposite. The absence of it keeps them imprisoned, in the sad shell of a house they were once so happy to buy. It suffocates them, draining them of the people they once were, and who they could have been if only they’d left. But they’ll be together forever. What once was their dying dream, turned into a living nightmare and will keep them chugging along, until the end of time.