For context, my boyfriend and I are already 3 months together but LDR. Nanligaw siya for more than a year pero ligaw means he just messages me from time to time saying hindi pa rin nagbabago feelings niya for me. I took the chance on him kasi i knew he was responsible, hardworking and thought he could be a good partner. Tapos in the entire time na we were together or kahit nung nanliligaw pa lang siya, he couldn't give me any reasons directly kung bakit niya ako nagustuhan or at least why he was drawn to me. Lagi niya lang sinasabi na maraming reasons (pero cant give any quickly) and mahal at tanggap niya ako for my best and worst versions.
Felt bad siguro kasi kanina nag-uusap kami about a certain TV series tapos minention niya na gusto niya yung isang character doon kasi soft spoken daw, maganda, pero strong etc.
Bigla ako napaisip na bakit ganun character lang yun sa Tv series, pero alam niya bakit nagustuhan niya yun pero sakin wala siyang mabigay na kahit isang mabilis na sagot lang.

Warning: Mentions of violence, blood, and some self harm near the end.
While browsing some random conspiracy site, I found what is a supposedly leaked file from the Nevada County Sheriff's Department; however, nothing has been confirmed. According to the OP, it is believed the following is the personal account of a 21 year old Jonathan Ashford of Grass Valley, California. Normally I would write stuff like this off but this one is...different. I’ve done my best to correct most of the grammar and misspelling while at the same time trying to avoid skewing the original account.
-September 15, 2022
I’ve never really been an outdoor person. Well, I guess that’s because I’ve never really been outdoors much in the first place. And that’s because I guess…I've never been invited? I don’t really have any friends. So, needless to say, I was surprised to find myself on a backpacking trip with a group of 5 other students from my university. The plan was five days in Tahoe National Forest some place called Mystery Lake. Monday-Friday. I don’t know why they decided to do it during the week. Most of us had okay grades at best and part time jobs on the side so taking a week off of it all seemed at the very least a bit irresponsible; and yet, I went anyway. Listen, I didn’t plan it, okay? This was one of my only chances to get to know people. The hike wasn’t too long but my genius self who had only been backpacking once when I was around 9 years old or so decided to carry 60 pounds of bullshit up the mountain resulting in my shoulders being sore and raw for the foreseeable future.
-10:11 PM
To be honest, I don’t really know why they let me come with them. I only know one of them and the group has been ignoring me for pretty much the entire trip. I was always bringing up the back on the hike in and I set up my tent outside of the main camp behind some trees. I haven’t eaten any meals with them or talked to them or, now that I think about it, anything really. Regardless. The trip has been an experience. Hopefully things get more exciting tomorrow.
-September 16
I’ve only ever slept in a tent a couple times so the new environment and lack of sleeping pills resulted in quite a restless night. I woke up at about eleven; everyone else was gone. I remembered they were talking about a day hike on a trail headed north so assuming that’s where they went, I hurried to get dressed and grabbed some granola bars. I’m about to head out. I hope I find them.
-12:21 PM
I’d been briskly walking for around an hour and was feeling quite exhausted so when I heard the group’s voices off in the distance I was very relieved. I started to jog in their direction when–when this jolt or–wave of energy flooded my mind. My head instantly started throbbing and my vision went blurry. The best way I could describe it is–TV static? Like the old TVs that would go all staticky when the signal got bad. I could barely make out shapes and a space in the middle of my vision was especially dark to the point where I couldn’t see past it. That wasn’t the worst of it, though. God no, if only I was that lucky. I can still hear the shrieking. That goddamn shrieking. In an instant all I could hear was this sharp, scratchy shrieking. It pierced through my ears and rooted itself in my head. I think I cried out in pain but even if I did I couldn’t have heard it. It was as if the damned souls of hell all cried out in eternal pain all at once and begged for death. I gripped and pulled at my hair, hardly noticing the pain that resulted from it as I fell to my knees in agony before…
I slowly opened my eyes. My head hurt and there was a slight buzzing in my ears. I lay in a pile of ivy next to a fallen log, my back dampened from the cool soil beneath me. I stood up, the hill on which I previously stood was nowhere in sight. As I leaned my shoulder against a tree to steady myself I heard voices. Cautiously, I walked through the foliage as the low vines dragged along my ankles. As I walked, I looked up. The falling sun cast a soft orange glow across the sky. It was probably around five O’clock or so. I climbed up on a large rock only to realize I was near the main camp. I pin-pointed the voices of my fellow campers as they huddled around a low-burning campfire. As I sat down to listen to them speak I could sense a strong feeling of uneasiness resonating from the group. Then it hit me.
“Are you sure you haven’t seen her since earlier this afternoon?” One of them said, I think his name was Matthew? He was tall and lean, by far the tallest in the group.
“I’m sure! It just doesn’t make sense. One minute she was behind me going on about who knows what and then the next when I turn around she’s gone!” A girl with light brown hair said. I didn’t know her name. I could see tears forming at the corner of her eyes as the wind blew her hair into her face.
“We need to find her before it gets dark. Groups of two; stick together!” A shorter man with brown hair said. Ryan. He was the only one I knew. We weren’t friends. Definitely not. But he was nice enough to me in the classes we had together and I was grateful that I was able to go on the trip with him. As he walked past the boulder I sat beside, paying me no mind, I saw his lower lip quiver as his wide eyes looked straight ahead. He was more nervous than he led on. I zoned out for a few seconds, the static from earlier crawling its way into the corners of my vision when a chipmunk climbing a tree snapped me back to reality and I realized I had been left at camp. I looked around at the tall forest but the group was nowhere in sight. I assumed they wanted me to wait at camp in case the missing girl, Alice, came back, but as I moved toward the dying campfire the call of nature occupied my thoughts. I found a spade and a roll of toilet paper and strode briskly into the forest, the cool Autumn air rushing against my chapped lips as I walked. I reached over to scratch an itch on my arm when I saw it.
“The fuck?” I wondered out loud. There on my upper forearm was…a bite mark. I rattled my brain trying to think what could have made that kind of mark. As I examined it more I confirmed my suspicions. It seemed human. At least I think it was human. It’s not like there are any goddamn monkeys native to Middle of Nowhere, California. There was also a dark purple bruise on my lower forearm. Didn’t remember getting that either.
I looked around for a good spot. Stepping over a log, I set my foot down on something soft. It was Alice. Her right hand crushed and mangled and a dried trickle of blood at the corner of her mouth had pooled on a flattened leaf. I screamed, tripping and falling back in the direction I hoped was the camp. As I jumped over a rock I landed hard on my left ankle as a streak of pain shot up through my body. I was trying to get back up when I heard it. The screeching. It steadily yet quickly faded in until it flooded my hearing. My vision was clouded by that same static. I curled up into a ball, kicking at the air. My eyes watered and I felt the urge to vomit…
A wave of dizziness hit me as I opened my eyes and fell on my tailbone, pain shooting up my back. I lay down on my back and looked up at the trees, my nose bloody. It was still dark. Had I been standing? I tried to recall what I had been doing but all I remembered were faded images. One thing I didn’t forget was the screeching. All that I could remember was covered by that screeching and a faint veil of that static. Just thinking about it made my head throb.
A groan. I nearly jumped out of my skin as I turned to look in the sound’s direction. It was David. He looked injured, lying on the ground, but quickly crawled back in what looked like fear when he saw me.
“You bitch!” He muttered between gritted teeth. Before I could react he was up on his feet charging in my direction. I tried to doge him but the wind was quickly knocked out of me as he headbutted me in the stomach. I fell back onto the ground and between coughs I saw him running towards me. Before he could deliver a heavy stomp to my chest I caught his foot and kicked up into his groin. He stumbled back with a low yelp of pain and, taking my chance while he was stunned, I stood up as fast as I could and prepared to block another attack. He ran up to me and attempted to deliver a blow to my stomach with his right fist, leaving his upper body undefended; I used the opportunity to send a hard punch into the side of his neck. He fell back choking, tears in his eyes. As he tried to sit down he tripped on a root and hit his head on a nearby boulder with a sickening crack. He squirmed for a moment, then nothing.
Silence. There was a faint red stain on the side of the rock, and beneath his blood-stained hair, his head seemed unnervingly misshapen. The closer I looked, the more I saw. Bruised neck, flowing blood, even some pinkish bone exposed near the worst of the damage to his skull. The fall must’ve been worse than I thought. Why would he attack me? What was wrong with him? Had he mistaken me for someone else? I sat against the blood-stained boulder and leaned my head back. I’m exhausted. Everything hurts. My ankle is throbbing. I can’t remember how long it’s been since I’ve slept and I don’t know what to do. I should probably go try to find the camp but…I’m too tired. I think I’m going to go to sleep now.
-September 18
I slept through the entire day and most of the night! Or, at least I think I did. The more I think about it I’m not so sure. It’s like 2:30 AM, glad my phone still works even if my brain doesn’t, just wish I had signal. I’m not sure what to do but I might try to go find
-4:29 AM
Something’s definitely out here with us. Or–me. Not sure how many of the others are left out here. I’m sure that shrieking is tied to something. I heard something off in the distance while writing and decided to go check it out. It was Matthew and that other girl. They were walking briskly and their eyes seemed to be darting around frantically. They were talking in hushed tones but from what I heard they found Alice's body, and they were worried. I was about to reveal myself to them when the shrieking came back. It hit me like a train, and sometimes I think a train would have hurt less. It felt like it lasted for hours, I bit a hole through my lip and fell off of the boulder I was sitting on. I couldn’t see anything except a dark patch of static in the middle of my vision surrounded by more static. All the cuts and bruises in my body seemed to amplify and I could barely breathe. I just wanted it to stop but it wouldn’t. It wouldn’t stop.
The two were dead when I came to. I wasn’t much better off myself. No matter how much I spit I can’t get the taste of blood out of my mouth. My arms are covered in cuts and bruises and my shoulder was dislocated. That was a fun half hour figuring out how to put it back in place. I think whatever is out here with us clouds your vision and makes it impossible to hear anything as a way to hunt you. I’m amazed it hasn’t killed me yet. I hope Ryan is still out there.
-6:06 AM
It’s been a long night. A really long night. I found Ryan but–but now I wish I hadn’t. It was around five AM I think, I had been aimlessly wandering through the forest looking for something, anything. By the most unlucky luck Ryan came stumbling around a tree. When he saw me his eyes went wide.
“Jon, what the hell?” Then he squinted his eyes and seemed to notice the wounds on my arm.
“Oh god,” he said. Then, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small knife, glaring at me during the process. Before I could reply, he charged me, knife in hand. I–I didn't want to kill him. I really didn’t. He tackled me to the ground, forcing the knife close to my chest. I desperately tried to push him away and being the stronger one, I knocked him off me. As he hurried to get back on top of me I sent my right leg flying into his arm, knocking the knife from his hand. Before he realized what was happening I grabbed the knife from the ground. In what seemed like a last desperate attempt he tried to force me down again but, already having the knife in my hand, I quickly slashed his chest and one of his wrists without thinking. I didn’t want to do it. I didn’t mean to kill him! I was just defending myself. I don’t know why he attacked me, what’s gotten into him and David? Is that thing controlling them? They didn’t seem like they were under some kind of spell…I don’t think so at least.
After a soft cry of pain he collapsed and rolled down the steep hill we were standing on. I didn’t bother looking for his body. No point. Odds are that thing would use his body as a trap for me or something. I don’t know anymore.
Somehow I found my way back. I don’t remember how, all I remember is collapsing against a tree out of exhaustion but, here I am at the trailhead. I guess my half dead brain forgot most of it. I don’t know what I’ll do now, I don’t think I’ll tell the police. If they hear that some creepy ghost creature is hiding out in the forest killing my friends I’ll probably get locked up in who the fuck knows where for who the fuck knows what. But, no matter how many or how few believe me, I know something is out there. And I know it’s dangerous. I doubt the bodies will ever be found. That forest is huge and I buried Matthew and Elizabeth, found her name in a backpack she had on.
This will be my last entry. My name is Jonathan Ashford, and I survived something dangerous in the Tahoe national forest. Whatever you do, do not go there. Goodbye.
-September 22, 2022, 5:06 PM
Ryan survived. The police are after me. Apparently he told them I stalked them in the forest and picked them off when they weren’t together. I don’t know what’s happening. There are some gaps in my memory but I know that I didn’t kill those people. I only killed David, and that was self defense. I’m not sure what I’ll do. The police don’t know where I am but I’m sure that won’t last long.
-8:19 PM
I saw an interview with Ryan on the local news while browsing channels. He seemed–off. There were bags under his eyes and his skin was pale. He seemed nervous, shaky. I hope he’s ok. I still don’t understand why he thinks I killed them.
-September 23, 3:12 AM
ok ok. I have a theory. I’ve been up all night thinking and it makes so much sense now. That thing can shriek. Terrifying right? But explainable. The static I still can’t make sense of, there’s no feasible way it could naturally do that. What if whatever supernatural force causes the static can also control people? Maybe that’s why Ryan looks so crazy. It must be controlling him. But why would it want me? Am I immune to its effects? Maybe.
-6:04 AM
They didn’t notice it. It didn’t hit them. When I was spying on Matthew and Elizabeth, right before they were–anyways.
The shrieking hit my ears before the static hit my eyes and in those few seconds, they didn’t notice. It didn’t affect them. They didn’t hear the shrieking. Maybe the shrieking is that monster thing's abilities failing to control me. Maybe that's why ryan-whatever’s controlling Ryan wants me. It’s because I’m a threat to it. Because It can’t control me. When I woke up I was injured, but never killed like the others. Maybe it doesn’t have as much power over me as others.
But why would the authorities believe Ryan? There’s no way his story can add up. Even if that creature, that thing, is intelligent, it can’t be that smart to fake a story. Why are they after me?
-11:42 PM
The police came by today. I was about to update this log again when they started banging on my door. I was able to sneak out a window before they noticed me, glad I live on the ground floor.
Something seemed off about them. I can’t say what but, something, like the uncanny valley effect, where something looks human but isn't. Whatever. It’s probably just my imagination. I need sleep.
-September 24, 2:20 AM
Something is wrong–something is definitely wrong. How did they find me? Holy shit that was close! I was dozing by a couple of dumpsters behind a gas station. Figured it was safe enough since it was out of the way and partly blocked by a fence until I heard dogs barking. Not sure how many of them there are, at least two–maybe three, I can still hear them barking. I figured they were just strays that would hopefully leave me alone until I saw the lights. Damn things half-blinded me!
“Son, what are you doing back here? Can we walk to you?” one of the officers said, his face was clammy and pale, he seemed tired, he seemed–off. I didn’t respond or wait for them to try and get closer, I dashed past them before they could call their dogs on me and jumped the fence, running into the tree line. I managed to climb my way up a tree a ways into the woods before they could get around the fence and send their dogs out. They haven’t found me yet, but they’re still looking for me. I can see their flashlights periodically bathing the tree line in a pale glow. I think I’ll try to wait them out and then climb down and run for as long as I can. Not sure where I’ll go yet but they keep finding me so I’ll have to get creative. Not sure how they’re finding me so quickly and easily, but maybe I can come up with something. Is that–thing finding me? Does it always know where I am? Is it controlling the police? Maybe that's why they looked so…wrong. I don’t know. I’m starting to think I don’t know anything anymore. I keep noticing the static in the corner of my vision occasionally, not sure why.
-September 24, 5:03 PM
I fucked up. Big time. Last night, somehow, I fell asleep. I don’t know how, guess I was just too exhausted. The sound of a helicopter pierced through the top of the tree line. Before I could register everything, I slipped and fell down the tree. I was able to slow my fall a bit by dragging my hands along the tree–hurt like a bitch–but I still landed hard. Can barely sit down. I think I was able to avoid being detected by the helicopter. I’m going to start walking. Not sure where but, I need to go somewhere. The static is constantly in the corner of my vision whenever I focus on it now. Why is this happening?
-10:44 PM
This doesn’t make any sense, I don’t know what's happening anymore! I was wandering through the forest when the static came back. God, it was awful, forgot how bad it was. Hell, maybe it was worse this time. Who knows. This isn’t the weirdest, or worst, part. I woke up in my apartment, I’m exhausted, but don’t have any new visible injuries despite how shitty I feel. Not sure why that thing didn’t try to hurt me, maybe it gave up on trying.
The news was on when I woke up, God I’m so fucked. They found the bodies–the ones that I buried. Of course they found my DNA all over them, used their forensics or whatever to try to explain how I killed everyone. I’ll have to admit if it wasn’t all a setup by some evil entity out to get me it would be pretty convincing. Sometimes–I find myself believing it. I don’t know what to think at this point, nothing makes sense anymore. The static is far more noticeable now. My head is starting to hurt, too.
They haven’t come back to my apartment yet, probably don’t think I would return this soon after they searched the place. I know they’ll be here eventually but I’m too tired to care right now. My brother and his kids used to live a few hours out of town, I think he built a treehouse for his kids somewhere behind the house. Maybe I’ll go try and hide out there for as long as I can. As if that will be very long at all.
-September 26, 6:24 PM
Everywhere I look, everything I watch. They’re always out for me. Everyone is looking for me. The things the police and the media keep saying about me–the evidence that gets released every day, the testimonies, officials saying I have symptoms of psychological problems like psychosis and DID, of Bipolar. More and more–I’m starting to believe it myself. Surely it's that thing. Surely it’s getting in my head…right?
-September 27, 1:03 PM
Made it to the treehouse, glad it’s still here. Had a few close calls along the way when trying to steal food from gas stations but I made it ok. Glad I did, the static is starting to really cloud my vision and my head hurts so bad my ears are starting to ring. I’m not out of the woods yet, that’s for sure. I can sense them...it. They’re trailing me. I think they’re getting close.
I’m so tired, so confused. I don’t know what to do, what to think anymore. What’s next? Maybe I’ll try to get some rest…if I can, that is.
I could try to come up with something, some silver bullet or whatever. I have this one idea, it’s not smart or clever, not even close, but it’s an idea, and it won’t let it–them–it, whatever, win. At least I don’t think it will; besides, surely it has a bigger plan for me, right? There’s no way it would go through all this effort just to kill me…
-4:39
They found me. I can hear them outside. They’re getting closer.
To be honest, I don’t know anymore. Maybe I did kill all those people, maybe I am insane. I don’t know what to believe. There’s so much being said, so many people saying it. I’m just so confused, so tired, so scared.
There's a bomb on the chair beside me, homemade. Glad I grabbed enough supplies to build it. Took me a while to figure it out as well as a few close calls but I think I got it working. They’ll have quite the surprise waiting for them once they find me…
They’re at the base of the tree now. The static has almost completely consumed my vision and my head feels like it’s about to explode. I don’t know what’s real and what’s not anymore. I’m not sure why I was made the target of this, why this is happening to me at all, but regardless of the reason, I won’t let them win.
To the creature, or entity, to whatever is doing this to me: I’ll see you in Hell.
Goodbye
Aside from some generic legal stuff to conclude the report, that’s where the document ends. I’m not sure what to make of it. Definitely a lot to take in. I contacted the OP on the site I got this from but haven’t received a response yet, will update if I receive one. For now my only advice is be careful, and don’t go backpacking in Tahoe National Forest. If anyone has any thoughts or info, please, let me know.

Wonder Women

Issue Fifty
Written by u/VoidKiller826
Edited by u/Predaplant
Arc: Revelations
*************************************************************
Greetings, people of Gateway City. This is your new peacekeeper speaking. You might know me as the White Magician, a rather crude name, but I will accept it considering Man’s World's lack of creativity. However, you may also call me Circe, and I am here with an important message that your news station will deliver for all to hear.
SCYTHE is no more: their HQ is under my and the Red Centipedes’ command. The Commander and his soldiers are dead and buried, as you all wished to happen. I was more than happy to oblige you if it meant depriving your stupid President of her next chance for reelection. Any survivors of the prison break are being hunted down by the people they locked in cages, who are more than happy to round them up as they once had been themselves.
But none of that’s important, for this recording is only to be heard by one person: Olympos, Wonder Girl, or whatever the fuck new title name you want to be called. This message is for you: You are to surrender yourself to me here in SCYTHE HQ in the next five hours, and in turn, I will not destroy this piss-end of a city. If you fail, I promise you, I will make Coast City look like a picnic by the time I finish with Gateway.
That cow you call Wonder Woman is dead, and I will make sure everyone else will follow her if you don’t comply with my request.
Your mentor learned a valuable lesson when she tested my patience.
*************************************************************
Spears Apartment - Gateway City:
[...President Cale has announced the complete closure of all access to Gateway City following the prison break that occurred in SCYTHE’s holding facility hours ago,] said Cassandra Arnold from GateNews, the city’s main news station. [We still have an unconfirmed number of escapees following the message sent by the White Magician, but the President has assured GateNews a solution will be found.]
Vanessa Kapatelis watched the TV in dismay. Pacing back and forth in the Spears duplex apartment, she had the TV on to pass the time while Ares worked on helping Helena and Cassandra upstairs.
“Here,” Vanessa turned away from the TV to see Tanya Spears handing her a bottle of water. “Something for you to drink.”
“Thank you,” Vanessa accepted the bottle. “I would prefer a beer, but this will make do.”
“My mom has her wine collection in a locked cabinet,” Tanya noted, pointing at the kitchen. “She doesn’t know that I know that, but I can get you a bottle?”
Vanessa chuckled. “Thanks, but I don’t want a girl your age to be walking around with alcohol or to get you in trouble with your mom.” She twisted the bottle cap and slowly drank. “I needed that… it feels like I’ve been dry for months.”
“It’s actually been 3 hours,” Tanya said, sitting on the sofa and opening her tablet to look over the internet. “I hope what she said wasn’t true… about Wonder Woman not being around…”
Taking a seat by her side, Vanessa saw that Tanya was reading through the report on what happened to SCYTHE. The escaped convicts had taken control of the SCYTHE headquarters and equipment after killing many of the agents that had stood in their way.
Seeing the photo of SCYTHE HQ burning angered her. That place should represent the absolute shield of Gateway. Now, it had come under the control of the convicts that they were supposed to stop because of Aeeta Branwen. A name that had made her happy now belonged to a stranger who had lied to her all this time.
Memories of their most intimate moments came flooding back: their first conversation, their first date, their kiss, and the morning after their date in her apartment. It was a moment when she thought she could finally stop grieving and move on from what happened to Coast City. And now, that had been disintegrated into oblivion.
In anger, she crushed the bottle with her hand, spraying water all over the table and the floor.
“Shit!” Vanessa stood up, finally realizing her mistake. “I am sorry!”
“Oh, it's fine!” Tanya ran to the kitchen to grab some paper towels. “It’s just water.”
“I know it’s just…” Taking the paper towel, the two began wiping the floor and the table. “I have a lot on my mind.”
“I’ll bet with everything that happened,” said Tanya, giving Vanessa a supportive smile. “Your friends are getting hurt, and you can’t do anything but watch. It would piss anyone off. I know it did with me when the RedCent guys invaded EE Tower.”
“Yeah…” Vanessa sat back on the sofa. “But this… I not only possibly lost many friends, but I was betrayed by someone I loved, someone who I thought was the one for me…” she said, distraught, as tears ran down her face.
Tanya, without saying anything more, hugged Vanessa closely. Despite them knowing each other for only a few hours, Tanya knew that Vanessa was in pain. Watching her loved ones being hurt by someone that she trusted must have been a hard truth to accept.
The doors upstairs opening and closing caught the two’s attention. Looking up, they saw Somya Spears descending, looking exhausted, like she had gone ten rounds in the ring. As she reached the ground floor, Tanya ran up to her mother, hugged her close, and guided her to the nearest chair to rest.
“Is everything alright, mom?” Tanya asked, worried.
“Yeah… just felt that I might take that long overdue vacation…” Somya answered, leaning against the soft chair with a tired sigh. “Maybe we’ll go to Paris like you wanted, Tanya…”
More steps followed, and Ares, or Mars as he insisted to be called, followed Somya, pulling his folded-up sleeves back. Unlike Somya, he didn’t seem any different from when he went upstairs to help the Sandsmarks, but the few strands of hair on his face told a different story.
“How are they?” Vanessa asked, walking up to the former God of War. “Are they ok?”
Ares turned to Vanessa. “The girl has a lot of heart, far too stubborn to let a beating keep her down.” He said with praise, impressed with the former Wonder Girl’s willpower. “Her Sumerian blood will help her heal in only a few days, but it won’t help her mental wounds after I told her the news about her mother.”
Vanessa had a lot of questions about what he had said, especially the word Sumerian; perhaps Cassie was not simply half-Olympian. However, she focused on the most important detail in his explanation. “What happened with Helena?” She asked in a worried tone. “Is she-”
“She is alive,” Ares said, but his expression shifted, frowning, making her nervous. “Physically, she will recover, she has only a few cuts and bruises. Even a human like her can heal those.”
“But?”
“But it's the spell Circe struck her with. It is unlike anything I’ve seen because it is of her creation,” Ares explained, and Vanessa ground her teeth together when she heard the name belonging to the stranger who hurt her and her loved ones. “Whatever she used, it is affecting her very soul, slowly killing her.”
“Like a virus?” Vanessa asked, and Ares nodded. “Magic can do that?”
“It does,” Ares answered. “Magic can create a nuclear bomb if the user has the patience for it. And Circe is a master at it, one of the very best and most gifted witches on the planet, so making something like this would be as easy as making a cake for her.”
Magic had never been SCYTHE’s priority, but the Commander still made them study anything related to the subject in case they had to face it. Vanessa had never expected to see it at this scale.
“Can you break it?” Vanessa asked. “Find a way to break the curse from Helena’s soul?”
Ares took a deep breath, pocketing his hands. “It’s too complex to break. I will admit Magic is not my strongest suit, but even if you bring in someone knowledgeable, it would be a while for them to break her creation,” he explained. “You need someone at her level of knowledge when it comes to magic, and I am not the best person to face her in that department.”
“Then we call for a specialist, anyone, really,” Vanessa said in desperation. “If this is like a virus, a curse, then we bring a surgeon to cut it out! Maybe Cassie can use her Justice Legion connection, or maybe you can call someone for a favor.”
Vanessa's desperation was clear. She was willing to call for the Justice Legion, the very people she swore to go against for their vigilantism, if it meant saving Helena Sandsmark, her promise be damned.
“The spell is growing far too rapidly. By the time you find someone, it will be far too late,” Ares said solemnly. “The only person in the world who can break the spell without any problem or fear of failsafe is Hecate, the Goddess of Magic. She was Circe’s mentor, and she taught her everything she could about magic. No matter how complex it is, Hecate would understand it.”
“She can help us?”
Ares shook his head. “No, she has no interest in helping the world unless it is connected to her directly, and even then, dealing with her is the worst-case scenario because there is a chance she’ll side with Circe before she even thinks of helping us.”
“So what now?” Vanessa asked, sounding defeated. “Just let Helena die? Let Cassie suffer? Let Circe win?!” she shouted angrily, finally addressing Circe by name. All of this explanation from Ares told her one thing: that the Witch had them beat, and they couldn’t do anything about it.
Ares didn’t react to her outburst, while the Spears looked worried. Tanya, for her part, tried to walk up to calm Vanessa, but the War God raised his hand to stop her, shaking his head and giving her the silent sign to let Vanessa be.
“There is one way: it will be quicker if we act fast enough, but it would take everything from all of us for it to happen,” Ares said, beginning his explanation. “There is a chain link connecting the spell, from the spell caster to Circe. This means it can be broken if we force Circe to release the chain connecting her to Helena…” he explained, letting his words be understood by the occupants in the room before finishing with one last note. “Killing Circe would also break the binding if she didn’t leave any contingencies.”
Vanessa gritted her teeth. “So we have to make her break the spell, and hopefully she doesn’t screw us over… or we kill her, and hopefully she still doesn’t screw us over even in death?” she asked, and Ares nodded. “What kind of person is willing to put in all that work? Just for revenge? On Diana, who is long gone?”
Ares shrugged and turned to the Spears, his gaze focused on Tanya, his daughter. Someone whom he never thought he would meet again was facing him, without knowledge of their blood relations.
“Possibly,” Ares answered, taking a step back. “But if there is one thing I know for sure, Circe does not put these kinds of bindings without any reason. Whatever that reason is involves Cassandra Sandsmark and whether she will choose to make Circe break the spell or kill her, tainting her forever.”
Silence came to the room, letting Ares’s words sink in for all occupants, which might have been the same words he said to the Sandsmarks.
*************************************************************
The room of Somya Spears was quiet, with the only sound being the breathing of Helena Sandsmark lying on the bed sleeping. The room was spacious, with an expensive queen-sized bed as expected from an interim CEO of one the largest companies in the world.
Seated a few feet away on a chair was Cassandra Sandsmark, dressed in fresh clothes given to her by Somya after throwing off the bloody tattered ones she had arrived in. Watching her mother closely, Cassandra’s mind was racing, especially after what Ares told her about the curse Circe placed on her mother, slowly destroying her soul bit by bit until she was nothing but a husk.
“Dammit!” In anger at their situation, she crushed the armchair, tearing its arm off like it was made of paper. If she was stronger, faster, and had the heart for it, she would have stopped the Witch, stopped her from hurting her city, the people of SCYTHE, and those caught in the crossfire, stopped her from hurting her mother…
She buried her face into her hands, tears running down her eyes as she despaired. Everything she worked on after Coast City evaporated was ground up under a very powerful enemy out for revenge.
Considering Circe’s ultimatum, her city could well be gone by the time this was over.
“Artemis… please be safe…” she whispered. She had nearly had a panic attack when she heard the news of the Amazon heading to SCYTHE HQ to stop the prison break, and then… nothing. No matter how many times she dialed her phone, there was no one answering, and she feared for the worst.
She heard her mother coughing, and Cassandra was quickly by her side. “Mom!” she called for her, holding her hand.
“Cassandra?...” Her mother said her name weakly. Her skin was becoming paler, a clear sign that the curse spell was working. “Are you… ok?”
“I’m fine, Mom,” Cassandra answered, covering the bandages hidden inside her clothes. “We’re safe. You’re safe.” she said, tightening both her hands around her mothers.
“Did you… break something?” She asked, looking at the chair behind her. “You shouldn’t be… doing that… we are guests…”
Cassandra laughed, her tears falling away. “Sorry… it’s just… it’s been a hell of a week…”
Helena touched her daughter’s cheek, noticing the bandage on it. “You’re… hurt…”
“It’s alright, Mom. Just a few bruises,” Cassandra assured. “You shouldn’t worry, you know I can take it…”
“I am your… mother, Cassandra,” Helena said, facing her daughter. “Demi-God or not… I will always be worried… scared for my little girl.”
Cassandra’s tears came back. Seeing her mother remain strong despite everything made her happy, and she was terrified of losing her.
“So… my soul is cursed?” Helena asked.
“You heard all that?”
“Can’t not… with all the swearing…” Helena noted, giving her daughter a small smile. “You shouldn’t swear at people, Cassandra, especially those who are trying to help.”
“I know, I know,” Cassandra said. She had gone off on Ares after he explained what happened to her mother, and she might have overreacted when she put all her anger on the former War God. “It’s just… I don’t want to lose you… not while we can fix this.”
Helena sat up on her bed, fully facing her daughter. “Which is why… I don’t want you to make the wrong choice.”
“I won’t,” Cassandra said with a low tone. “I will make Circe free you from this curse-”
“No, Cassandra,” Helena grabbed both of Cassandra’s hands with hers. “That is not what I meant…”
Cassandra raised her brows, confused. “Mom?”
“I heard everything… from Circe’s spell… how it works… and how it can be broken…” Helena said, shocking Cassandra. “I know you already decided what you feel you have to do.”
Cassandra didn’t answer, avoiding her mother’s disapproving gaze accusing her. Ares said the quickest way to break the binding and the spell was either by forcing Circe to break it herself or by killing her, severing the connection.
But if what Circe said was true, that Diana decided to kill her instead of making her surrender like everyone else who faced her, that means there was no chance the Witch would submit willingly. She would rather die than give the satisfaction of admitting defeat.
Which left only one solution where she could save her mother.
Helena sighed, knowing what decision her daughter might have made. She held her hand tightly and changed the subject. “I have to tell you something…”
“No, mom. You’re not giving me the ‘Dying Speech’, not while there is a chance we can save you-”
“It’s about your father,” Helena cut her off, shutting Cassandra up. “Your real father…”
Cassandra remembered Circe calling her Daughter of Enlil, not Zeus. Ares said he was a friend of her father, which confused her because Ares hated Zeus, so it wouldn’t make sense that he would help out even if they were his siblings.
“Enlil…” Cassandra said the name aloud, and Helena’s eyes widened, her breath hitching when she heard the name. “Circe… she called me Daughter of Enlil… Child of the Sky...”
Helena took a deep breath, bringing her daughter closer. “Yes… that is true…” she began. “You are not Zeus’s daughter, Cassandra, nor you are an Olympian in any way… but you are in fact… Sumerian… Mesopotamian,” The elder Sandsmark brought her youngest closer and spoke carefully, as if worried that someone might hear them. “Your father is Enlil, the Sumerian God of Wind… and he was the kindest man I have ever known…”
From then on, Helena explained Cassandra’s origins as carefully as possible, pushing on even while the spell affected her. She explained how she met Enlil, a man with golden hair similar to Cassandra’s, who introduced himself as an expert in Mesopotamian history during an expedition in Iraq. They had become rivals at first due to their clashing personalities, but how that developed into respect, to eventually falling in love after a very lengthy adventure that sounded like the plot of The Mummy.
And that love resulted in Cassandra’s birth. He helped raise her with Helena for the first year and a half before he disappeared because he had Olympian enemies and had to leave them to keep them safe.
While she explained all this, Cassandra’s mind went to another piece of critical information. Her father’s true identity had never been the most important thing for her. But what made it important was what Circe told her about Diana’s true reason for coming to Gateway City. It wasn’t just settling in a ‘piss-end of a city’ the more she taught about it, the more she realized the terrifying truth behind her mentor’s reasoning for coming to the city.
Diana was sent to find Cassandra, a Sumerian Demi-God, the Olympians greatest enemy since the Titans, and eliminate her. The prophecy of the Godkiller that they had feared might have come from Cassandra, but all it did was start a long, personal, and bloody war between two women because of the gods' demands for blood.
And now, she, Artemis, and Gateway City suffered the consequences. Even after Diana’s death, Circe would not let her hatred for what had happened to her go, and if it meant destroying her mentor’s legacy, she would do it.
‘Diana…’ Cassandra thought in sadness.
*************************************************************
SCYTHE Sub Base - Industrial District:
“I am not sure how you were able to do it, but you somehow found an ever more depressing place than that HQ of yours. It makes the cell you put us in look like a five-star hotel room,” said one Pamela Isley, formerly Poison Ivy, seated in the middle of a large room behind a large table. Around her were what was left of the SCYTHE agents they had saved during the escape, all working to get the makeshift base they had hidden up and running.
Alexei Abramovici, the Bloodcrow of SCYTHE, glared at the former supervillain, not happy with her comment. He turned to one of his men and began barking orders, “You! Get the goddamn Black Room working! We are running blind here!”
‘Worker drones even without their Commander.’ Pamela looked on unimpressed at the agents. She had never been that sympathetic to the plight of cops getting killed, especially militarized ones. The once mighty and feared peacekeepers of Gateway, who went to war against all the crime syndicates and the Red Centipedes, were now a mere little squad that won’t be able to protect a mini-mart, let alone every escaped convict under the command of the White Magician.
“Man… the signal here sucks!” complained Miguel Barragan by her side, raising his phone and trying to catch any kind of signal. “Could barely talk to my boyfriend when I called him, and can’t connect to the internet,” he complained. He tried once again to call but he couldn’t find a signal. “Useless brick…”
“We are underground in a bunker previously owned by Neo-Nazis, Barragan,” Pamela noted. From what she had heard, this used to be an old RedCent hideout that SCYTHE took over after the war, using it as a smaller base in case of emergency. “Not receiving any signal is part of the appeal of the place.”
“Bunker, huh…” Miguel chuckled. The name Bunker reminded him of the super name that he picked out; the more time passed, the more convinced he was that it was the right one.
Pamela gave a confused look at his expression and shrugged it off. Turning to her right, she saw the silent Emily Sung staring off into the distance. Unlike Barragan, Emily had other matters on her mind. Whatever she sensed or saw back at SCYTHE HQ freaked her out, like seeing something she shouldn’t.
Just as Pamela was about to ask her how she was feeling, a knock on the large blast doors echoed around the base, loud enough for all to hear. Quickly, everyone felt tense, and the SCYTHE agents covered the door as Alexei signaled them to aim their weapons. After the news of the escaped convicts taking control of SCYTHE HQ and their equipment and weaponry, the agents knew that they were being haunted now by the convicts looking for revenge, so they were not taking any chances.
“Would you mind opening the door!” A familiar voice said behind the door, a voice Pamela recognized right away. “I have a bloody Amazon here, and I would like her off my fur!”
“Barbara?” Pamela realized.
“Minerva? As in the Cheetah?” Alexei asked, eyes narrowed with suspicion. “She could be working with them, with the White Magician.”
“She isn’t,” Pamela answered, glaring at the SCYTHE soldier for the accusation. “She would never ally with the psychos you had under lock and key.”
Alexei scoffed. “That woman got a cemetery filled with people who say otherwise, and she hurt the mother of someone I know.”
Before the two could argue, Miguel stood up and decided to take action. He extended his hand, forming a large arm construct from it, and grabbed the handle of the blast door. With one pull, he opened it wide. Barbara entered. Her feline form made some of the SCYTHE agents tense, and weapons were still trained on her.
“Quite the welcoming committee…” she noted in sarcasm. “Now, would you be dears and get this woman some help?” She adjusted the unconscious and bloody Artemis on her back. Her blood covered Barbara’s fur.
“Medic!” Alexei called for an agent nearby before turning to Miguel. “And you, don’t use your freaky powers until I order you to do so.”
“Sorry tin man, I don’t speak fascist,” Miguel responded with a smirk, and Alexei glared at him.
The medic quickly came to Barbara and guided her to a nearby makeshift hospital room, which had a bed and various equipment to help the SCYTHE wounded. Barbara went in haste, and gently, with the help of the medic, they placed the injured Amazon on the bed, her blood soaking the white sheets red.
“How the hell did you even find us?” Alexei asked as he and the others entered. “I made sure I covered all our steps.”
“You did,” Barbara noted, stepping back to let the medic check on Artemis. She turned to Alexei and pointed at her nose. “But one of you has a very special pheromone that I can smell for miles,” she said with a smile as she turned her gaze to Pamela. “Still with those rose scents around you.”
The redhead smiled. “Maybe it’s that mark you left on me.”
“More than you think, Pammy.”
“Christ…” the medic gasped, catching everyone’s attention. “How is she still alive? And how long has she been like this?” He asked, examining the injured Amazon.
Her armor was wholly wrecked, beyond repair. Her headpiece was half broken, and the gauntlets and braces on her arms and legs were dented and unusable. Her injuries were severe: open wounds, slash marks, and burn marks were all over her body, and judging from blows on her armor, she might have had a few broken bones as well.
“Didn’t bother to look at the time with some of the grunts that were sent after us,” Barbara answered, leaning on a nearby chair as fatigue finally set in for her. “But these Amazons are too stubborn to die, and I know that from experience…”
The number of times Barbara thought she had beaten Diana only for the Amazon to get back up and beat her back was many, and it frustrated the woman to no end, but now she couldn’t help but be in awe at the resilience of these warriors.
“Her Amazon gifts will heal her,” Barbara noted. “But I am not sure how long it will take…”
“I doubt it will take more than a few days at least…” the medic noted, bringing out some bandages and wrapping them around her arms. “She will need a miracle to even walk out of here on her own two feet.”
“Uhmm…” Everyone in the room turned to Emily Sung, who stood by the doorway. “I… I think I can help her heal faster.”
Barbara and the medic gave her an odd look. To better explain it, Emily brought her hands together, and a small flame began to form from her palm. However, they weren’t bright orange flames; they were blue flames, and they didn’t feel any heat from them.
“I developed this technique while training,” said Emily. “It's a fire spell that doesn’t burn, but it heals people. I first used it on Miguel when he hurt his hands, and it was instantaneous,” she explained, and Miguel showed his fully healed hand as if he was demonstrating it. “But this will be the first time I will heal someone with this severe of injuries…”
Pamela and Barbara looked at the blue flames with wide eyes. In Pamela’s case, she was told that Emily had powers, and from Miguel’s description, she had the power of all the elements. However, seeing it firsthand and feeling it from just that tiny flame made her sense there was power behind it, warmth, like the sun.
“Do it,” Barbara said, taking a step back. “At this point, if we need magic to get her back into the fight, we better get to it before we lose her for real.” She turned to the shocked medic. This was the first time he would ever see magic in play. “And you, guide her in whatever wounds need to be healed.”
The medic nodded. It was better than nothing. With his guidance and Miguel’s support by her side, Emily went to work to heal Wonder Woman, who was in a state of life and death if they didn’t work fast enough, all while Circe and her crew were out there terrorizing the city.
“What’s the news out there?” Alexei asked after the three left the infirmary room. “We are in the dark here, and I couldn’t radio in anyone with the pieces of junk we got. Not even my brother, who was trying to get as many agents as possible.”
“Brother?” Barbara asked before she realized who his brother was. Her expression became solemn. She remembered the Warhammer who stayed behind to slow Circe and her crew, giving Barbara a chance to escape with Artemis on her back. “The guy with the Hammer…”
Alexei furrowed his brows, noticing the change in her expression. “What happened to my brother?”
Barbara took a deep breath and began explaining everything that had happened: the White Magician’s true identity, her taking over SCYTHE HQ, her ultimatum to Wonder Girl, and finally, Anatoly Abromivici’s sacrifice to save them.
*************************************************************
Somewhere in Gateway…
With the loss of SCYTHE and their headquarters, the surviving agents didn’t have the necessary support from the intel agents in the Black Room to fight off against the newly revived Red Centipedes, now grown more powerful with the help of the escaped convicts, more than happy to exact revenge.
With the bridges closed off, SCYTHE’s weakened state, and Wonder Woman being presumed dead, the city had been thrown into chaos. Streets filled with criminals and looters taking full advantage of what had happened, stealing anything from everyone across the island.
Red Centipedes roamed the streets with military trucks, taken from SCYTHE after their HQ had fallen to the White Magician’s control, making full use of their hardware to hunt down any surviving agent, delivering the message that they were the new peacekeepers of Gateway.
“Let me go!”
A woman, a worker from Taco Whiz, was being dragged from the streets by a group of RedCent grunts. Taken into a nearby corner, the RedCent dropped the worker on the dirty ground. Their eyes had terrible intentions behind them.
“Come on, man,” one RedCent grunt said from behind to his buddy. “We are supposed to find those SCYTHE fuckers, not mess around.”
“You’re serious?” The buddy looked at his friend like he was crazy. “We’ve been locked for months in SCYTHE’s cells; we can have a few minutes of fun.”
“Please! Don’t do this!” The woman screamed, tears falling from her eyes, afraid of what they would do to her. She tried to stand up and run away but was quickly pushed back down on the pavement.
The RedCent approached the woman, who crawled away from them in fear. “Come on, girl, I just need to release all this stress after being locked up for so long!” He proclaimed, giving the woman a leery look before turning to his buddy. “Hey man, I can share! Maybe we can get someone else from the street-”
The RedCent stopped speaking, catching his breath for a moment after he saw his buddy lying on the ground face first, knocked out cold. Looking up, his eyes widened in shock when he saw the person standing before him. “You’re… you were supposed to be dead?!”
Covered in heavy bandages and wrecked NIGHT armor, and carrying a mace in his hand and a pissed-off look on his face, Commander Hector Hall stood before the RedCent grunt like a dark spectre coming back to life. Kicking the knocked-out buddy aside, the Commander looked between the grunt and the terrified woman before he hardened his glare at the RedCent.
“Stay back!” The RedCent grunt aimed his weapon, hands shaking in fear. “I said stay the fuck back-”
In a moment, Hall moved at such a speed he looked like a blur, cutting the distance between the two. With one swing of his mace, he smacked him squarely on the head, sending him to the ground.
Hall turned to the woman he saved, who looked at him in horror. “Go… get to safety…”
Without another word, the woman ran toward the exit and into the streets, away from the alley. Now alone with the two RedCents, Hall grabbed the knocked-out buddy and woke him up, making the man see the bandaged-up Hall looking down at him with hateful eyes.
“You… I want you to send your boss a message…” Hall began, making him face the Commander. “Tell the White Magician, Circe, that I am declaring war on her and on anyone who stands by her side.” He turned and walked up to the other grunt, who was crawling away from the Commander in fear, grabbing his bleeding head. He begged for his life, but Hall ignored his pleas. “And this, this is for my men that you Centipedes have killed…”
He lifted his bloody mace and brought it down like a hammer on the begging Red Centipede as his buddy looked on in horror. He lifted it up once more to reveal the man’s head was crushed like a watermelon.
Commander Hector Hall was still alive, and as long as he was still breathing, SCYTHE would remain standing to fight against all threats against Gateway City.
*************************************************************

Wonder Women Vol 3.

Previous Issue <> Next Issue

So recently I keep getting a black screen for a while and then an unexpected playback error, however this is only happening on my Samsung tv. If I try to watch a file that’s on my server while I have allow direct play on (not force direct play) this error happens but if I have the setting off the file works. With live tv it doesn’t matter if I have allow direct play or allow direct stream off it still won’t work. Everything works as it should on both windows (that the device running my server) and on my phone.
I have tried deleting the app off the tv and reinstalling Turned the media server on and off Restarted the windows device running the media server And none of that seems to have worked This was all running fine until one day it just wasn’t Does anyone have any ideas?

Today's Challenging Campus Events

Dear Campus Community,
What a sad day for our university. I’m brokenhearted.
At 2 p.m. on Wednesday, we, along with most other UC campuses, received the latest "demands” from the protesters. The protesters orchestrated a swift departure from their encampment. In a coordinated fashion they moved out of the encampment to the Physical Sciences Lecture Hall, where a small group barricaded themselves in, supported by a large group of community members who had gathered for a scheduled rally.
For the last two weeks, I have consistently communicated that the encampment violated our policies but that the actions did not rise to the level requiring police intervention. My approach was consistent with the guidelines of UC's Robinson/Edley Report, which urges the UC to exhaust all possible alternatives before resorting to police intervention.
I was prepared to allow a peaceful encampment to exist on the campus without resorting to police intervention, even though the encampment violated our policies and the existence of the encampment was a matter of great distress to other members of our community. I communicated that if there were violations of our rules we would address them through the normal administrative policies of the university and not through police action.
And so after weeks when the encampers assured our community that they were committed to maintaining a peaceful and nondisruptive encampment, it was terrible to see that they would dramatically alter the situation in a way that was a direct assault on the rights of other students and the university mission.
The latest campus-specific and systemwide demands made by our encampers and their counterparts across the University of California attempted to dictate that anyone who disagreed with them must conform to their opinions. They asserted the right to oversee many elements of university operations involving the administration, faculty, students, and staff, bypassing customary campus protocols and ignoring the function of the Academic Senate.
Most importantly, their assault on the academic freedom rights of our faculty and the free speech rights of faculty and students was appalling. One can only imagine the response if people on the other side of these issues established an encampment to force me to censor all anti-Zionist academic and student programming.
But my concern now is not the unreasonableness of their demands. It is their decision to transform a manageable situation that did not have to involve police into a situation that required a different response. I never wanted that. I devoted all of my energies to prevent this from happening.
I’m sorry this campus I love so much had to experience this terrible and avoidable situation. I remain steadfast in my commitment to protecting the rights of all members of our community to express whatever viewpoints they believe are essential for others to hear and engage. And I remain steadfast in my commitment to defend our faculty and students from efforts to prevent them from having the same rights of academic freedom and free speech as everyone else on this campus.
My hope is that we can find our way to a culture of peace, mutual respect, and shared commitment to addressing our differences through the norms of scholarly inquiry and debate.
Fiat Lux,
Chancellor Howard Gillman
https://chancellor.uci.edu/communications/campus/2024/240515-campus-events.php

Supervisory Management and Program Analyst

HQ-24-ST-12379453-CWO

Grade: GS-15

Headquarters, NASA

You will serve as a Supervisory Program Analyst in the Resource Management Division within the Science Mission Directorate (SMD) at NASA Headquarters. In this position, you will oversee analysts in the execution and formulation of SMD's budget and provide expert analysis to ensure the effective use of resources in the accomplishment of SMD's strategic objectives.

Electrical Engineer (Direct Hire)

GSFC-24-DE-12402255-JM

Grade: GS-12/13

Goddard Space Flight Center

You will serve as an Electrical Engineer managing Facilities Engineering Projects assigned to the Engineering Branch of the Facilities Management Division within the Management Operations Directorate.

Director, Office of Procurement, Goddard Space Flight Center

GSFC-24-ES-12410883

Grade: ES-00

Goddard Space Flight Center

Serves as Director, Office of Procurement, for the Goddard Space Flight Center (GSFC). The Director reports directly to the NASA Assistant Administrator for Procurement and is a key member of the senior management team. Responsibilities include planning, budgeting, directing, executing, and coordinating procurement actions on behalf of the Office of Procurement.

Aerospace Engineer, AST, Environmental Control Systems

JSC-24-IMP-12407417-SC

Grade: GS-14/15

Lyndon B. Johnson Space Center

As a Senior Project Manager in the Space Suit and Crew Survival Systems Branch, you will formulate projects to develop space suit hardware and ground test systems; analyze requirements; develop estimates for resources and schedules; identify risks and mitigations; create and track schedules; lead teams across organizational boundaries; assess progress; and develop reports for stakeholders. You also will manage allocated resources to deliver project requirements on schedule and within budget.

General Engineer, AST, Engineering Program Management (Direct Hire)

ARC-24-DE-12409981-BP

Grade: GS-14

Ames Research Center

You will serve as a Program Manager in the Bioengineering Branch at Ames Research Center providing engineering and scientific expertise to the Branch Chief in the management and direction of life support and synthetic biology projects aimed to achieve sustainable human presence beyond low earth orbit. Responsibilities include helping with setting strategic direction of the branch, ensuring branch and facility safety and space planning, and contract management.

Assistant Administrator for Protective Services

HQ-24-ES-12410685

Grade: ES-00

Headquarters, NASA

Reporting to the Associate Administrator of NASA's Mission Support Directorate, the Assistant Administrator for the Office of Protective Services provides NASA-wide executive and functional leadership, policy formulation, oversight, guidance, coordination, and advocacy for protective services programs including security, fire protection, emergency preparedness planning and response, and programmatic counterintelligence/counterterrorism (CI/CT) operations, processes, functions, and activities.

Computer Engineer, AST, Data Systems

GRC-24-IMP-12408735-BP

Grade: GS-14

John Glenn Research Center at Lewis Field

As a Computer Engineer in the Management Support and Integration Office, Research and Engineering Directorate, you will serve as the Directorate Cybersecurity Lead. You will be responsible for coordinating, monitoring, and maintaining surveillance over Information Technology/Operational Technology (IT/OT) systems and cybersecurity posture to support critical technical capabilities for aerospace research such as power, propulsion, materials, and space communications.

Director, Human Resources

NASA-24-ES-12395540

Grade: ES-00

National Aeronautics and Space Administration - Agency Wide

Serves as Director, Human Resources, at a Center Human Resources Office. The incumbent is a key member of the Office of the Chief Human Capital Officer Enterprise Leadership Team and serves as principal senior advisor to the Center Director on all human capital matters. This announcement will be used to fill two vacancies - one at Marshall Space Flight Center (MSFC) and one at Kennedy Space Center. The MSFC selection will serve as the Human Resources Director for MSFC and Stennis Space Center.

Aerospace Engineer, AST, Flight Systems Test (Direct Hire)

LaRC-24-DE-12415995-JL

Grade: GS-14

Langley Research Center

You will serve as the Center Range Flight Safety Lead assigned to the Uninhabited Aerial Systems (UAS) Operations Office of the Research Services Directorate overseeing the safety of the City Environment Range Testing for Autonomous Integrated Navigation (CERTAIN) at the Center and for other UAS locations where NASA conducts UAS flight operations.

Industrial Hygienist

SSC-24-IMP-12405883-CC

Grade: GS-14

John C. Stennis Space Center

Serves as the Occupational Health Officer for Stennis Space Center (SSC) in the Environmental and Health Services Office, responsible for performing a variety of professional and scientific work in industrial hygiene, health physics and occupational health functions. You will anticipate health hazards; recommend preventive measures and prescribe procedures to eliminate, reduce or abate occupational health hazards in the working environment and ensure conformance regulations.

Supervisory Contract Specialist (Direct Hire)

HQ-24-DE-12415404-CB

Grade: GS-15

National Aeronautics and Space Administration - Agency Wide

The NASA Office of Procurement seeks Supervisory Contract Specialists to plan, direct and supervise office activities including all pre and post award aspects of the acquisition program. These positions will be responsible for leading assigned activities at one of the listed NASA locations. Provides strategic direction for a diverse group of contracts and agreements for commercial and non-commercial goods and services, while maintaining strong communications and high quality products.

Administrative Specialist (Direct Hire)

LaRC-24-DE-12416464-ST

Grade: GS-11

Langley Research Center

As an Administrative Specialist supporting the Administrative Support and Analysis Branch (ASAB), you will be responsible for a wide variety of analytical, human resources, administrative, and associated management support services for the organization(s) to which assigned, and you will conduct analytical studies requiring the identification and resolution of issues and problems of administrative support functions.

Aerospace Engineer, AST, Aerothermodynamics

KSC-24-IMP-12413593-SL

Grade: GS-14

John F. Kennedy Space Center

As the fluids analysis technical lead in the mission analysis division of the Launch Services Program you will lead a team of highly technical fluid dynamics engineers to perform a variety of analyses with the goal of ensuring mission success for NASA's missions. You will be responsible for the timely completion of fluid dynamics related analyses and actions.

Contract Specialist (Direct Hire)

HQ-24-DE-12409898-LC

Grade: GS-14

National Aeronautics and Space Administration - Agency Wide

The NASA Office of Procurement seeks Senior Contract Specialists to perform procurement planning, negotiation, and contract administration in support of NASA programs. The Office of Procurement is structured to provide support to our mission partners regardless of location. This announcement may fill any of NASA Office of Procurement positions.

Lead Contract Specialist (Direct Hire)

HQ-24-DE-12409914-LC

Grade: GS-14

National Aeronautics and Space Administration - Agency Wide

NASA's Office of Procurement is seeking highly skilled individuals to serve as Lead Contract Specialists for a variety of complex cost reimbursable and fixed price, multi-year contracts, including secondary administration. This announcement may fill any of NASA Office of Procurement positions.

Supervisory Contract Specialist (Direct Hire)

HQ-24-DE-12416506-CB

Grade: GS-14

National Aeronautics and Space Administration - Agency Wide

The NASA Office of Procurement seeks Supervisory Contract Specialists to plan, direct and supervise office activities including all pre and post award aspects of the acquisition program. These positions will be responsible for leading assigned activities at one of the listed NASA locations. Provides strategic direction for a diverse group of contracts and agreements for commercial and non-commercial goods and services, while maintaining strong communications and high quality products.

Program Manager

HQ-24-IMP-12415817-RW

Grade: GS-15

Headquarters, NASA

As the Branch Chief for the Office of Diversity and Equal Opportunity (ODEO), Diversity, Equity, Inclusion, & Accessibility (DEIA) Branch, you will oversee and lead several core functions to include: 1) DEIA Program Management, Implementation, and Assessment; 2) Special Emphasis Programs and ERG Engagement; 3) DEIA Data Analytics and Reporting; 4) Diversity and Equal Opportunity Reports; 5) Reasonable Accommodation Program Coordination and Oversight.

Supervisory Equal Opportunity Specialist

HQ-24-IMP-12404389-SL

Grade: GS-15

Headquarters, NASA

The ODEO Branch Chief for the Equal Opportunity and Program Branch within the Policy, Programs, and Analytics Division, oversees and leads the program management of NASA's external compliance and adjudication programs, as well as policy and compliance functions of NASA's anti-harassment program.

Supervisory Financial Management Specialist (Direct Hire)

GSFC-24-DE-12417200-JK

Grade: GS-15

Goddard Space Flight Center

The Office of the Chief Financial Officer (OCFO) is seeking individuals to fill multiple positions as Directorate Resources Managers (DRM) and/or Deputy Project Managers for Resources (DPMR). These positions supervise and manage a staff of resources professionals who support projects at NASA. They serve as senior advisors to project/program/directorate leadership in all areas related to resources and business processes.

General Engineer, AST, Technical Management (Direct Hire)

JSC-24-DE-12407163-JK

Grade: GS-15

Lyndon B. Johnson Space Center

Selectee will serve as the Lead for the System Management Team within the Extravehicular Activity (EVA) and Human Surface Mobility (EHP) Systems Engineering and Integration (SE&I) office. You will be responsible for leading a matrixed team of system managers for systems that are cross-cutting across the EHP elements, such as communications, navigation, environments, power, logistics, etc.

Supervisory Criminal Investigator

NASA OIG-12386603-IMP-24

Grade: GS-14

Headquarters, NASA

The NASA Office of Inspector General (OIG) conducts audits, reviews, and investigations of NASA programs and operations to prevent and detect fraud, waste, abuse, and mismanagement. The Office of Investigations (OI) investigates allegations of crime, cyber-crime, fraud, waste, abuse, and misconduct having impact on NASA programs, projects, operations, and resources.

I rescued my chihuahua miniature pinscher 8 years ago, and he’s probably about 9 years old. He has always been difficult with others, and likely experienced some kind of abuse and trauma before we rescued him. He’s not good with others for the most part, even worse with dogs, and extremely reactive. But has always been amazing with my wife and mostly good with me, but she’s definitely his person.
His more severe seizures started a year ago, and he’s now heavily medicated and the seizures are under control but his behavior is getting worse and he’s on even more of a hair wire trigger now then he’s ever been. He’s now barking at cars just driving by, goes red any time he sees another dog now, won’t let anyone near my wife or daughter, etc.
We had a baby 2 years ago, that combined with the pandemic and losing his interest in dog parks, and him becoming crazy protective of my wife during her pregnancy and now the seizures and the meds he just isn’t doing as well as he used to be.
He absolutely loves and adores my daughter, and she loves and adores him, they literally do everything together but it’s completely worn him out. They play together all day every day. He rarely gets to nap anymore, he gets kept up by her at night (she’s teething again), and the less sleep he gets the worse he behaves and the worse his health gets. He used to sleep 12-16 hours a day like most dogs his age, and he maybe sleeps 8-12 hours a day now and it’s mostly interrupted and broken up.
In the past 3 days he’s lunged and nipped my daughter in the face scratching her twice now. They’re significant enough that it’s leaving marks taking days to heal. I’m at a loss because it’s complicated.
Now the first time, my wife was sitting on the couch eating a steak for dinner and our dog was fixed on that meat for seriously 30 minutes. He wouldn’t take his eyes off it. She was sitting between him and the meat on a tv tray - he was 2.5ft from the steak at eye level to him the entire time. I always tell my wife to put her food away if she’s done eating but she’s the slowest eater I’ve ever met, and her and my daughter graze for what feels like hours.
My wife was not paying attention to him at all, and was playing with my daughter and kept swinging her up on her legs onto her lap while sitting constantly putting my daughter’s face directly between the steak and our dog.
I told my wife, “That doesn’t look safe, and I don’t think that’s a very good idea.”
She immediately scolded me and said, “It’s fine, I do this all the time…” and before she could finish her sentence she flung my daughter into our dogs face putting her face inches from his directly between him and the steak he was staring down for the past 30 minutes and he lunged without warning and nipped her on the cheek. He honestly looked just as surprised as everyone else that he actually came in contact with her, and it did not seem that he had any intent to scratch her or even really make any contact with her.
I do not know why my wife was not aware of the situation unfolding, even as I tried to bring it to her attention she only had eyes for my daughter and just ignored the fact the dog was there and she was antagonizing him with our baby and the steak without realizing it.
He over reacted to the situation and had already endured 30 minutes of eyeing that steak and at least several minutes of having a 2 year old flung over and over again in his face when all he wanted was a bite of her food.
I watched the whole thing go down, and honestly I’d say it was at least 50% my wife’s fault, if not more. Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t want my dog nipping my kid ever. Especially not on the face. But my daughters face and my 14lbs dogs face shouldn’t be anywhere near each other in this situation. The responsibility to protect both of them was on my wife, and I but I was unable to convince my wife in time of her lack of awareness of what she was doing.
Now today, my wife was going to take a nap with my daughter and our dog - one of the few times he actually gets some sleep. None of us slept well last night. Everyone was grumpy all day including our dog. Anyhow the dog jumped on the bed in his usual spot, immediately started to fall asleep and my wife then lets my daughter climb onto bed right where the dog was and stick her face in his face while she’s climbing up onto the foot of the bed.
Once again, my wife allowed my daughter to quickly fling herself into our dogs space, disturbing him while he’s trying to finally sleep, and he nipped her on the face again. This time he scratched the same side of her face again right below her eye again.
I don’t know what my wife was thinking or why she let our daughter do this. There was absolutely no logical reason for why my daughter should be climbing onto the bed essentially in the dogs face or invading his space. The dog sleeps on my side of the bed at the foot of the bed.
I’ve already talked to her about this, and told her our dog is exhausted, old, his health is not well, and he already endures constant stress all day from our daughter and 99% of the time is amazing with her and tolerates it but he needs some alone time and space. Meanwhile our daughter should not be putting her face in his face, and she needs to teach her not to do this and actively prevent it from happening.
I realize my wife is also exhausted, and we just got over our 3rd round of Covid, but she’s now putting us in a horrible position because she isn’t managing our daughter and the dog well and is putting them both in stupid situations where my daughter is getting hurt and my dog is being stressed out to the point of hurting my daughter when I’m fairly certain it’s not his intention. He is just at his breaking point.
For me this is pretty much a 3 strikes and we have to take serious action situation. Two incidents in such a short time span is not acceptable behavior on my dogs part, even if my wife is responsible.
My daughter’s safety comes first, even if that means I have to protect her from my dog or even my wife’s sleep deprived decision making.
At this point I’m considering hiring a behavioral dog trainer and getting their opinion.
Also looking at getting him a new crate and just crating him at night so he sleeps and maybe make him nap in the crate during the day sometimes. He really has no space of his own anymore since the baby. He used to be create trained as a puppy.
If he hurts my daughter again he likely needs to be rehomed or put down. His med schedule, diet, and seizures are not easy to manage and he cannot be left home alone in the event he has a seizure and requires rescue medication. Factor in his increasing aggressive behavior and hair wire trigger with other dogs and dislike of most people finding someone else to deal with this going to be difficult.
The whole thing is truly heartbreaking because he’s been a loyal and loving companion for my wife and I, and he loves my daughter and I don’t think he wants to hurt her. I’ve exhausted a lot of resources to manage his epilepsy and buy him more time but with my wife losing control of both him and my daughter he is struggling to handle the stress anymore, and my wife is too exhausted. She’s been dealing with adrenal fatigue since she gave birth and her Dad is currently dying of cancer, and her Mom is possibly experiencing early dementia symptoms. I’m empathetic to everything she’s going through, and frankly losing our dog will probably just make things worse but I can’t keep seeing my daughter get hurt like this even if the injuries are minor they should not be happening.
I’m going to try the crate and trainer first, and hope nothing else happens. Also perhaps get a babysitter or someone to help my wife while I’m working.
Anyhow sorry for the wall of text. I’m at a loss here. I love my daughter, my wife, and my dog but my wife is struggling to manage him and he’s now hurt my daughter twice - they’re just scratches and he’s not really drawing blood but it’s still too close to crossing a line since he’s using his teeth to do this.

Written 5/8/2024- updates attached below

I tried posting this on kendrick almost a week ago and it got no response, I messaged the mods to ask about Karma restrictions or account age requirements and they never replied. I made a new account and it was the same issue, but I found out last night I wasn’t fully banned, so I figured I’d throw it up and see if anyone finds it valuable. It’s written for people who have no prior knowledge of the rap game/music business. I don’t have to go as hard on obscuring names this time. One of the influencers I mentioned in my last post is known for doxxing and threatening violence against people who mention the many contradictions in their stories. (Sorry for any typos/mistakes I want to go to bed.)
Origins
I believe the current Drake and Kendrick Lamar beef is either completely or partially fabricated by certain industry leaders or the parties involved in an effort to distract from something bigger going down behind the scenes. If you were an influential label owner facing major accusations, and you needed to deflect media attention from yourself, recreating one of the most defining moments in rap history during the social media era would be a way to do it. It also wouldn’t hurt that two of the biggest rappers in the world were already sending shots at each other in their music for years prior. The public consensus is they are simply two famous rappers who hate each other and fighting over the spot for the top like in the 90’s. Only people who were directly involved could paint a more cohesive picture of the whole story. Even when all the cards drop, there is a good chance the average person won’t be able to find direct sources on their own and will continue to support their favorite artists and dismiss any evidence of their crimes like the drizzy subreddit or Ak fans.

As I said the beef between Kendrick and Drake has been brewing in the background for years, with both rappers sending shots and sneak dissing each other over the course of at least 8 years. The most agreed upon origin story is the first diss was the 2016 Big Sean and Kendrick collaboration, “Control,” and Drake responded with, “The Language”. Things stayed relatively lighthearted for a while and both were intentionally vague for many years. Before I go deep into the Kendrick and Drake stuff, it’s really important to examine some of Drake’s prior beefs because they add a ton of context to my theory. In my opinion Kendrick and Co. started scheming all of this some time around Mid 2020-Mid 2022, well after the whole Pusha T beef had transitioned into the Kanye beef.

What exactly started the beef is debatable, but at the time many attributed it to rumors of Drake pursuing Ye’s ex Amber Rose. Unfortunately the timeline isn’t 100 percent clear, and if I included every detail this would be at least 200+ pages so I’ll stick with the important stuff. The ultimate outcome of the Pusha T battle in 2018 was the revelation of Drake’s son Adidon that he had previously been hiding from the world along with getting Ye directly involved in the beef.

Here are some more examples of Drake antagonizing Ye and of him trying to use women as pawns to get material for his diss tracks. The Drake line, “Yeah, I probably go link to Yeezy, I need me some Jesus, but as soon as I start confessin' my sins, he wouldn't believe us," could be a reference to sleeping with Kim Kardashian, trying to double down on his threats to harm him or his family, or it could be a double entendre. Another example is using the name Kiki in another song, which was apparently one of Kim’s nicknames. Some other possible examples include the theories he may have tried the same thing with Kendrick’s wife Whitney around 2020-2021 in an attempt to use as ammo against Kendrick, which I’ll go into later. I don’t listen to much of either artist's music, but there are probably many of other examples in Drake’s catalogue that I’m leaving out. There is also his song Omerta released in 2019, which I'll go into below.

“Your baby mother call me when she lonely My tailor see me twice a week, he like my homie Forever grateful, forever thankful Diamond necklace, but she wears it on her ankle”

(Probably referring to Kim Kardashian since she had a few pictures with her wearing diamond ankle bracelets and was trying to make it into a trend.

“I plan to buy your most personal belongings when they up for auction”

(There were various rumors floating around for a while that Drake was blackmailing Ye with something and he was fighting to keep it from the public. I thought about it and this line might be referencing a sex tape with Kim or her little sister who me was very touch before she turned 18. In 2022 there was a whole storyline on Kim’s show where Ye flies to LA to prevent her second sex tape from being released.)

West Hollywood, know my presence is menacing
Cosa Nostra, shady dealings
Racketeering, the syndicate got they hand in plenty things The things that we've done to protect the name are unsettling But no regrets, though, the name'll echo Years later, none greater
Death to a coward and a traitor, that's just in my nature, yeah
(Drake and Ye both frequented the Delilah Nightclub located in West Hollywood and lived closeby on the same street for a while.)
"I don't carry cash 'cause the money is digital
It's the American Expresser, the debt collector"

(Sounds a lot more like it could be crypto to launder or send large amounts of ill gotten gains. It started becoming mainstream around them)

"Last year, niggas really feel like they rode on me
Last year, niggas got hot 'cause they told on me
I'm 'bout to call the bluff of anybody the fold on me"

These lines stood out because they could be referring to Ye telling the public about Drake's alleged threats a couple months before the songs release. This happened not long after the release of Sicko mode which was towards the end of 2018 as well. Ye was discussing the incident on Twitter and reached out to Drake and Travis to talk to him in private. In the next set of tweets Kanye publicly accused Drake of threatening him and his family in a major way. Surprisingly Ye seemed genuinely scared and amongst his, “crazy rants,” some of the stuff he said makes a ton of sense in hindsight. This also the beginning of his second serious public struggles with Bipolar disorder after being committed in 2016 shortly after an on stage rant where he calls out Jay Z for selling out and says he's afraid he might kill him.. As someone who shares the same diagnosis, I have a pretty good understanding of mania and psychosis and firmly believe that it's important not to write people off right away due to their mental illness. Some of my most thoughtful, creative, and productive periods were inspired by mania. Industry bigwigs have also been using mental illness to discredit influential black celebrities and visionaries going back decades, but it really picked up in the 80’s.

Dave Chappelle has gone into this a lot in the past and claims he experienced something similar before he quit show business and dipped to Africa. Their stories have a lot of interesting parallels if you’re familiar or curious. I remember he actually visited Ye at his house in Wyoming after he was reported to have had a, "mental breakdown," during his presidential run in 2020 thus marking his third breakown in six years.. The reason I put it in quotes is because it happened right after he publicly accused Kim of cheating and delivered his legendary speech on abortion. Dave went as far as going on live tv and telling the public he wasn’t crazy, he was just really struggling because he was the only one at the time fighting against the narrative, which can often be a suicide mission or a ticket to obscurity. These are three examples of someone speaking up and being deemed crazy, two years later came the nazi stuff and I'm sure we'll have plenty in store for 2024.

This is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the very common pattern of artists dying or having their careers destroyed either after they try to leave their label or threaten to reveal industry secrets. A few more interesting industry connections I made in my research include the connections between:

T.U.G. records and J Cole's independent label Dreamville are both managed by Interscope Records, whose parent company is Universal Music Group.

Universal Music Group also hac Drake's label OvO label as well as Ye and Kendrick's old labels on their roster before they left to form their own independent labels in 2022 (around the same time the disses between Kendrick and Drake started escalating). Finally Bad Boy Records, which is owned by Diddy, and Motown Records who own Diddy's other R&B label Love Records, are also both owned by Universal. This means every label I mention is currently or was previously owned by Universal Music Group.

Ye tried for years to get out of his contract with Defjam, which happens to be ran by Jay Z who is known to be a close associate of Diddy. Jay would always used his money and power to fight against it. Ye even spoke out publicly on a few occasions, including when he said Jay Z was trying to kill him during one of his concerts. My theory is after years of getting nowhere and having his reputation skewered, in 2022 Ye finally said, "Fuck it," and dropped all the anti- Semetic stuff intentionally in a successful attempt to force his label to into using their morality clause, which requires labels to drop an artist if they're accused of any major controversy that could hurt the label’s profits. For the fourth time in four years the media reported he was having a breakdown. Even though they tried to punish him by cutting off all of his sources of income and freezing his accounts he still managed to bounce back pretty quickly. It was often reported how much he was losing, but it rarely discussed how he still was filthy rich in spite of the retrictions. His label wanted to discourage other artists from trying the same thing. My theory is he might have bought Kim or Kylie's alleged sex tape and used it for his own leverage. For Kendrick, his transition to his independent label ApLang went a lot smoother, but he had to split ownership of his new label with the previous manager owner Dave Free. Sadly it's still difficult for new or more niche artists to establish themselves without the some help.

He may be a lot of things but Ye isn’t dumb just because he has a mood disorder and the guys at the top know this, which is why I think he has really played up his diagnosis when it benefitted him. He’s still one of the most talented musicians in the game and I really think he sees his bipolar like a superpower as he says. It’s like his own invisibility cloak. He can go off his meds for a little, make an album after staying up for 72 hours, go on a “psychotic” twitter rant dropping facts throughout, then start up again once he makes enough news headlines. I think it’s worth noting the first divorce rumors in 2020 coincided with Ye’s abortion speech during his presidential run and the cheating accusations. that led to him dropping out and moving to Wyoming, and a couple months ago in February 2024 he was committed again.

The point I’m making is bipolar is complex, but pretty manageable especially if you have a ton of money to find meds that work for you and a good doctor and can keep substance abuse and stress at a manageable level. I think Ye is smart enough to know this, but it’s just safer for him to really play up the mental issues in the media. He’s proven he can literally say whatever he wants after getting cancelled and the average person is just going to write it off as psycho babble. While bias in health care is a sad fact of society, if you can use it to your advantage I say go for it. It might’ve just kept the microscope off of him long enough to plan his attack.

Ye v. Drake: Quotes of 2018
(Start of the beef, drake threats, and suspicion towards Kardashian family. )

“ It’s not about rap. It’s about family. We have to be close as a family and never let these people infiltrate just for radio spins”

“We need to show the world that people can talk without people ending up dead or in jail.”

”This is a man speaking to a man that has been placed in the program to fuck with Kanye West head and set me up“

”See when you care about your family you don’t let no man push you to do nothing that could risk your freedom“

These first four tweets by Ye were all in reference to perceived threats made by Drake after their beef escalated circa 2018. He began speaking on the industry and talking more about his psych hospital commitment two years prior and how he thought they were going to kill him. It's pretty obvious how the whole thing was planned by the sketchy doctor who called it in and his physical trainer who has a ton of connections to weird shit involving his celebrity clients.

I found interesting that Ye might not have been the first major league rapper whose life Drake threatened. During a similar period of mental illness the up and coming rapper XXXtentacion accused Drake of stealing his flow and dissed him a few times. Not long after he made a post online saying if he dies, it was Drake who did it. There are tons of conspiracies online, but none of the evidence is strong enough to draw a definitive connection. Also while it maybe be coincidental, Kendrick’s latest album Mr Morale also painted the picture that Kendrick was dealing with some serious personal issues. Some lines throughout the album may have been used to bait Drake into escalating, but it wasn’t until The Weekend, Future, and Metro Booming dropped, “We Don’t Trust You,” then Drake and J. Cole dropped, “First Person Shooter,” which was followed a couple days later with, “Like That,” where Kendrick started the chain of events that has led us to today.

Kanye vs. Drake: Quotes of 2020

Summary: Ye runs for president and gets suppressed for saying what very well could be the truth and was immediately deemed insane by the media. Kim did a couple interviews and everything he said was immediatly false. There is almost guarenteed to be some sketchy shit going down revolving her and her family. Ye was absolutely terrified of her keeping the kids away from him and it seems like there are still efforts being made to this day to paint a certain image of him for ulterior motives.

Below are six more quotes from a fan taking a deep dive into his 2020 tweets courtesy of u/ thehatstore42069 on Yeezy
”NORTHY I AM GOING TO WAR AND PUTTING MY LIFE ON THE LINE AND IF I AM MURDERED DON’T EVER LET WHITE MEDIA TELL YOU I WASNT A GOOD MAN,” West, 43, wrote in the tweet, adding, “WHEN PEOPLE THREATEN TO TAKE YOU OUT OF MY LIFE JUST KNOW I LOVE YOU”

"I need a public apology from J Cole and Drake to start with immediately... I'm Nat Turner... I'm fighting for us."

"the utmost respect for all brothers" and said "we need to link and respect each other... no more dissing each other on labels we don't own"

"Ye is constantly trying to tell people that his family does not have his or his kids best interests at heart. He goes on to list others, linking them together with the thinking emoji. These people include rap artist Drake and Larsa Pippen, wife of Scottie Pippe. Kim K is goddaughter to Pippen's daughter, showing how close the families actually are. All of these families that associate with Ye through Kardashian connections, as well as Drake, have been accused of the same thing Kris has. EVERY SINGLE ONE of these people have mixed race children that are groomed from a young age to fuck around with celebrities so the parents can remain famous. Drake on numerous occasions has been accused of grooming girls and then getting handsy on their 18th birthday.”

“These labels want their artists to make them money and they dont care about anything else. When Kanye says things like this in an attempt to expose him, the first thing they wanna do is drug him up and put him back in the studio.”
“Righteous indignation is typically a reactive emotion of anger over mistreatment, insult, or malice of another. It is akin to what is called the sense of injustice. This is how they keep the black man down. Keep people outraged about trivial things and distract them from the real issues in the world. The real problems in the industry. If you tell people enough times that they are unequal or discriminated against they start to believe it. Drug them when they step out of line and toss them aside when the checks run out. Ye is realizing he is pawn in a bigger game, and now that he has all these roots in the game such as Yeezy or the Gap or his music, too many people cant risk (Afford) a Ye who speaks his mind.”
(End of quotes)

Amongst the twitter rant, Ye warned about the predatory nature of record deals and discussed trying to get out of his own deal, and said again how his life may be in danger if it wasn’t already and was doing anything he could to protect his kids. The most fascinating part to me though is the public call to arms he made to Drake, J Cole, and Kendrick on twitter. After inviting them to all link up, he said, “It’s time to get free, we will not argue amongst each other while some guy we don’t know in Europe is getting paid and putting that money in a hedge fund.” I believe if Ye was able to pull off this meeting, there is an ever so slight chance that all four artists might be working together to take down a greater enemy. Weirdly there have been times throughout the last couple years where these supposed enemies were photographed together being friendly or praise each other in interviews, then out of no where the disses would start flying again.

To wrap things up I want to share my a few of my theories about the Drake/Kanye beef

A. Everything is exactly as it seems and the beef is over. Ye let his mental illness ruin his life and career so Drake simply picked another target after Ye stopped putting out disses. All of these connections are just a coincidence and all of this was choreographed to boost Drake and Kendrick’s music sales and possibly distract people from the Diddy trial and possibly the complicated geopolitical issues currently facing the U.S.

C. There is also the possibility that all four rappers are in cahoots and Drake’s dirt isn’t as extreme as people are theorizing, at least in comparison to the rest of the business. This could explain why everything has played out like a movie and how they were able to predict each other’s moves so well. This could either mean they’re all just trying to boost their sales or they’re all trying to take down the “slave masters,” as Ye calls them, and change the dynamic of the music industry in favor of the artist.

D. They may be trying to help their friends in the industry who are being abused or in shitty contracts. I know a lot of famous rappers have done a lot of collaborations with Jhene Aiko and Anderson Paak, who were both signed to T.U.G. records which I mentioned above in the connections to Universal Music Group. Considering they are both frequent collaborators with all of the artists involved on both sides, it’s not unlikely they may have played some part in influencing the takedown.

T.U.G was started by Chris Stokes with his partner Ketrina Askew. Back in the early to mid 90’s were gaining popularity attracting lots of young up and coming talent. They often collaborated with Diddy and his associates. In the 2000’s Raz B from the boy band B2K claimed he was molested by Stokes and his friend Marques Houston, then quickly retracted his claims. Years later he came forward again and said we was bribed into silence and that the rest of the victims were bribed with hush money and had another singer corroborate his story and they came forward together to level the accusations. After some of his former B2K members made fun of him for his claims and accused it of being a shakedown, Raz B revealed Stokes and Houston had preyed a lot of the children associated with the label including at least one of the former bandmates and paid them off.

I thought it was worth noting that the second whistleblower named Quindon Tarver died young in a car crash after mentioning his abuse again a few years prior. He seems to have left the industry not long after the incidents occurred and has few credits to his name. To this day Raz B is still trying to get his justice, while Stokes and his partner Askew, who was also involved in the abuse are still running the label to this day. Askew also has a ton of lawsuits, accusing her of using shady tactics to try to foreclose on houses. (Don’t quote me if a lawyer wants to take a look just google her full name), and has been tied to a ton of LLCs, similar to Drake. This is a good example of a shitty record deal, but I'm sure they have countless other friends in the industry who have even worse. While they were never convicted even Chris Stokes' wife confirmed it to be true.

E. The theory I personally think fits the narrative best and is the most realistic conspiracy is that Kendrick and possibly J. Cole went to the meeting, but not Drake due to his close relationship with Lucian Grange, the president of Drake’s label. Silence often speaks louder than words and this could explain why Kendrick was so ruthless and put so much effort into finding dirt on Drake. Ye, Cole, and Kendrick co-writing would be like the rap allstar team and if J. Cole wasn’t involved, it would also answer the question of whether or not he baited Drake into the battle by asking him to feature. I don’t think Drake is really their primary target though, which would explain letting him off easy. Compared to his bosses and their bosses he’s a small fish. If you take the big guys down you stand a better chance of landing a bigger blow on their operation.

Another really interesting connection is Kendrick and Ye were both signed under Universal Music Group and they both got out of their deals around couple months apart in 2022. As we speak U.M.G’s CEO Lucian Grange, who is often acccused of giving Drake special treatment, is facing charges related to sex trafficking by no other than P Diddy. This could very well explain the timing of it all. The craziest timeline would be Diddy masterminding all of this and using his connections to get it done and all the allegations are bullshit. The guy does seem pretty confident all things considered and constantly posts himself in his Batman costume which could mean he’s a vigilante.

It seems like there's a slight religious angle as well. (Ye and Diddy are both very vocal advocates of Christianity and Drake and Lucian Grange are both Jewish.) Obviously this is a reach, but they’ve been saying rap music was specifically promoted by mostly white label owners in the 80’s to help in the ongoing effort to expedite the systematic oppression of those living in black neighborhoods and the destruction of their family systems. Apparently it was an intentional decision to heavily promote rappers that promoted the very things that were destroying their neighborhoods. (So people know I'm and atheist and have zero agenda, I just thought it was interesting, please stay away from anything antisemitic. War is wrong on both sides.)

*** If my favorite theory is true, there is a possibility the Kendrick and Ye are going after Drake due to their mutual disdain for him and because he’s got a ton of power to dominate the charts and hog the radio airtime like Meek Mill and OG Maco claimed years ago. Even him dropping a record the same day as you could really fuck your album sales up. I’m also sure some of the many rumors throughout the years have had a least some truth and he will most likely snitch to avoid cell block one. I think that Drake could have been instructed to instigate this whole mess in order to draw attention away from the UMG charges brought about by Diddy. Or on the other hand it could be that Kendrick, Ye, and possibly Cole, may have had intel that Drake was going to be involved in the Diddy trial and are just gonna let the receipts show themselves. It might not have been the original plan, but they’ve already accomplished their mission of humiliating him, assuring he couldn’t use his influence to slide through the cracks, and taking over the throne.

Please take everything I say with a grain of salt I have no connection to this world or lifestyle. Regardless I believe all of the knowledge above does a pretty solid job at painting a picture of what may have let up to this and what may have been the source.
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More details found the last couple days…

Drake and Diddy Connections+Coincidences

Drake- In the P Diddy wig video from 2016 he talks about going to party with Drake, Cash, and The Weeknd in Toronto. Drake is also one of Birdman’s protégées who is known for being a predator and is rumored to have used label artists to lure young women.

Travis Scott- Interview where he comes out and says Diddy tried to lure him. Still has a long history of associating with him, video of him running from Diddy, his connection to Ruby Rose while underage.

Tim Westwood- Diddy had connections with sex offender Tim Westwood who also inspired the Drake song, “Westwood”. They also both were victims of drive by shootings along with The Weekend and they were all facing some type of allegations.

T.I.- Also has been associate with Diddy through the years, in 2021 his kid died and 11 women can forward at the same time to accuse him and his wife of drugging and assaulting them. Clearly someone wanted to fuck his life up. Possibly due to him getting arrested so many times for wild shit and people wondering how he continued to get away with it shining a light on how powerful industry lawyers are. He also had recently talked about having a gynecologist check to see if his daughter is still a Virgin, which sounds like it could have been an industrty secret. Could have been because he worried about someone trying to take advantage of her to get to him? Regardless that shit is fucking insane.

50 Cent- Has been saying pretty much the same thing as Travis Scott and has trolled Diddy for most of his career. It came out that his wife was a sex worker who was possibly recruited Diddy to help ruin his career. It sort of worked, which raises the question if 50 Cent is the only victim.

Ray J- Him and his sister worked with T.U.G. records when they were very young. Chris Stokes in the nineties who had connections with Diddy. He has been involved in a lot of sex scandals and allegedly may have played a part in Whitney Houston's death. (Which is also allegedly connected to Michael Jackson's death and both were deemed suspicious and happened during their final tours when their masters (song rights), became more valuable than their lives. Sony Records and Tommy Motolla, who also abused Mariah Carey when she was trying to start her career. These are just a few of the alleged examples of labels taking out musicians when they were worth more dead, another is the signing of high risk artists and requiring them to get life insurance so they can profit beyond releasing all their posthumous records. Also the ever so common story of the rising star artist that die at 21 after their first album or two.

He also partied with Diddy in Vegas with along Floyd Mayweather and a bunch of other famous industry people and athletes.

Tory Lanez- Tons of blackmail, also was signed by Interscope under UMG. got sent to prison for ten years after trying to leave his label. Also history of SA and and other allegations of violence towards women.

French Montana- On Diddy's label, close with Rick and Khaled, tons of drug and sexual assault allegations, also dated a Kardashian. Generally grimy.

DJ Khaled- Diddy said he could get anything in Miami, either referring to drugs or women, could explain his connections and lack of any notable talent. (New update, he was one of the first to promote Chris Alvarez’s instagram not long after he turned 18).

Rick Ross- Diddy said some weird shit about him and licked his lips and kissed him at a show. Ross is also signed to Bad Boy under Diddy. He ended up getting involved in the current feud and spamming social media nonstop dissing and threatening Drake.

A lot of the back and forth was both of them threatening to release dirt on each other. One strange coincidence I found was Drake recently trolled Ross about the 20 million dollar renovation to his home on Star island, where Diddy is currently residing. It’s rumored back in the day that P Diddy was caught in a room full of rich guys on ecstasy possibly at the beginning stages of a gay orgy. Drake also mentioned in the same tweets about Rick Ross that Birdman owned a house on the island and asked Rick Ross why he didn’t help him out.

Considering Ross is so sketchy and Drake claims the house isn’t that big, that’s a ridiculous amount of money. He may be covering up evidence, or creating tunnels in his house to escape if shit pops off and Drake might know what’s good. Interestingly enough Ross is very close with French Montana and also signed to Bad. He said his beef was related to something involving French, and Drake’s tweet popped up the same day the info came out concerning the Chris Alvarez stuff.

The famous line from U.O.E.N.O.

Meek Mill- “OG Maco called himself defending his friend Quentin Miller by substantiating the ghostwriting claims and agreeing with Meek. He hit up Twitter saying, "Some of us been knew. Meek just put it in the air. Sucks to have to compete with 6 n****s and get compared to”

Meek mill also had a short beef with Drake, some disses included lines referring to TI’s homie pissing on Drake at the movie theater, which is also interesting considering the current case against him. He also dropped a line saying Diddy almost got a domestic charge when he smacked Drake, which could either be saying that Drake is like a woman, or saying he was Drake’s boyfriend/sugar daddy.
( If you made it to the end comment with the number 8)
I thought it was interesting how the beef just kind of disappeared and even Meek said it didn’t seem genuine. Considering the allegations against Meek in the Diddy trial, and his rumored affair with Kim contributing to ending Kanye’s marriage, Meek Mill definitely did some dirt on him.

“Niggas frauds I told the truth, don't ask me shit
All this industry fake enemy and rap shit”

“Money make a sucker that told look trill again”

One of the many chapters in Drake's history in which he is seen paying his way out of trouble and starting beefs randomly.
“Now when that shit went down with Chris, you wrote a check”
This line is referring to Chris brown beef, another beef that was lost to time. All I can remember off the top was someone throwing a champagne bottle at the other’s entourage.

Ty Dolla $ign- Huge feature artist, close with Ye. Grew up in the industry and talks about growing up on the road and being in the studio with his dad and Rick James who was should have already been in prison for life for dragging, torturing, and S assaulting multiple women and children throughout his career and was himself a victim of the industry. May be part of Ye's motivation, considering their recent close working relationship.
The end.
Courtesy of,
The Randomest Moniker

Also did a Bible study devotional today on this verse (Psalm 32:8 I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you.) pondering on does God still do this today? Trying to meditate on this verse and read a commentary.
Todays study was very difficult because also went into the topic of (Biblical Stewardship) it seems every sermon and commentary from multiple different denominations say we are to steward “everything” for God? But what many don’t go into is are there ever times when we shouldn’t steward everything? Does everything really mean everything or did this word mean something different throughout history? Does market driven consumer based economies ever affect how we are to steward everything for God? What happens when what man or the maybe the masses of an economy wants differs from what God may want? Are there times when we have to steward things that maybe promote things that against God? If anyone is interested in looking more into this if you type in “Biblical Stewardship” on YouTube there’s many sermons but many don’t go into many of these questions? A big one for me is “am I even stewarding this right for God? What happens when believers tell me different things on how we are to steward?
Link to the entire stream the Bible study is at the very beginning. (If anyone has thoughts on any of this or any verses to share always nice to hear and have some fellowship)
https://m.twitch.tv/videos/2146647984
Anyone interested in the process for today’s drawing here is the start to finish. If anyone would like this drawing for free as a gift let me know and I can try and mail it to you I’m reminded on many verses on gifts
https://m.twitch.tv/videos/2146952684
Some verses looked and pondered into today
Psalm 32:8
8 I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you.
Proverbs 3:6
6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
Matthew 6:33
33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
Matthew 13:10-15
10 Then the disciples came and said to him, “Why do you speak to them in parables?” 11 And he answered them, “To you it has been given to know the secrets of the kingdom of heaven, but to them it has not been given. 12 For to the one who has, more will be given, and he will have an abundance, but from the one who has not, even what he has will be taken away. 13 This is why I speak to them in parables, because seeing they do not see, and hearing they do not hear, nor do they understand. 14 Indeed, in their case the prophecy of Isaiah is fulfilled that says: “‘“You will indeed hear but never understand, and you will indeed see but never perceive.” 15 For this people's heart has grown dull, and with their ears they can barely hear, and their eyes they have closed, lest they should see with their eyes and hear with their ears and understand with their heart and turn, and I would heal them.’
Matthew 25:14-46
14 “For it will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servants and entrusted to them his property. 15 To one he gave five talents, to another two, to another one, to each according to his ability. Then he went away. 16 He who had received the five talents went at once and traded with them, and he made five talents more. 17 So also he who had the two talents made two talents more. 18 But he who had received the one talent went and dug in the ground and hid his master's money. 19 Now after a long time the master of those servants came and settled accounts with them. 20 And he who had received the five talents came forward, bringing five talents more, saying, ‘Master, you delivered to me five talents; here, I have made five talents more.’ 21 His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.’ 22 And he also who had the two talents came forward, saying, ‘Master, you delivered to me two talents; here, I have made two talents more.’ 23 His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.’ 24 He also who had received the one talent came forward, saying, ‘Master, I knew you to be a hard man, reaping where you did not sow, and gathering where you scattered no seed, 25 so I was afraid, and I went and hid your talent in the ground. Here, you have what is yours.’ 26 But his master answered him, ‘You wicked and slothful servant! You knew that I reap where I have not sown and gather where I scattered no seed? 27 Then you ought to have invested my money with the bankers, and at my coming I should have received what was my own with interest. 28 So take the talent from him and give it to him who has the ten talents. 29 For to everyone who has will more be given, and he will have an abundance. But from the one who has not, even what he has will be taken away. 30 And cast the worthless servant into the outer darkness. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’
31 “When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, then he will sit on his glorious throne. 32 Before him will be gathered all the nations, and he will separate people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. 33 And he will place the sheep on his right, but the goats on the left. 34 Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. 35 For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, 36 I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.’ 37 Then the righteous will answer him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? 38 And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? 39 And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ 40 And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’
41 “Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. 42 For I was hungry and you gave me no food, I was thirsty and you gave me no drink, 43 I was a stranger and you did not welcome me, naked and you did not clothe me, sick and in prison and you did not visit me.’ 44 Then they also will answer, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and did not minister to you?’ 45 Then he will answer them, saying, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to me.’ 46 And these will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life.”
(Gonna be going on a trip so will be my last stream for maybe like 12 days gonna try and stream but don’t think I have the right internet)

Today I use a 50” plasma from 2008, that just won’t die!! I know that almost anything will be a HUGE improvement! But to my question, I got 5.5m viewing distance so I have been looking at projectors instead of a new tv.
Seems more I read about different projectors, the more I’m not sure it’s worth going for 4k at my budget and maybe it’s better going for 1080p projector. Is it worth buying budget 4k or budget 1080p projector?
Budget is in the $800-1200 range without screen!
What kind of models have I been looking at?
Optoma uhd35x Viewaonic px 701 Benq w1700
No direct sun, 90% movies and sport usage!

Hello everyone! I am looking for someone to take over my lease at Paseo Place at SDSU. The lease starts on August 16th, 2024, and ends on July 31st, 2025. The lease includes a furnished 2x2 bedroom apartment. Rent is $1329 a month totaling $15708. The interior has a in-unit washer and dryer, a kitchen with an island, a 42-inch LCD TV in the living room, and more. The unit has 2 double bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, and a living room. Two of your roommates would be seniors (males) and the other would be randomly assigned unless you find someone and coordinate with Paseo Place. Pictures of a model unit are below but please visit the Paseo Place website or contact me to learn more about it. Again it is the two-bedroom, two-bath unit that is currently sold out. Please PM or reach out over Instagram (@jtepperdecarlo) if you’re interested
Edit- Im not able to upload any of the pictures for some reason but if you go to the Paseo Place website they have plenty on there!

“THE EARTH - A LIVING CREATURE!”
Joseph Burkes MD
I was a contact team coordinator for the CE-5 Initiative in Los Angeles from 1992 to 1998. “She is alive. She is awake and She loves us.” is the message that I received during of a kind of channeling experience that I had back in 1994 at Carlsbad Caverns New Mexico. It was an occurrence that Linda Irwin of the Unseen World radio show called a "contact download.”

I was meditating 600 feet underground. It just an hour before closing time. I sat alone in a small amphitheater cut into the rock face. With no expectations of results, I decided to reach out with my mind and try to contact with what I imagine is Earth Mother. She is called Gaia by many.

Soon two beings appeared in my mind's eye. Dressed in the garb of medieval pilgrims, I was informed that I could not interface with her directly, but through them a link could be established.

What followed was an "awake dream" that was so poignant because it combined striking visual imagery in full color with emotion and thought. The message that I “received” was as follows:
The Earth is like a beautiful woman, alive and awake and conscious of her reproductive power. Her love for all of her children, plants, animals, including us is profound. But humankind is now experienced by her as if we were a kind of pest. The rivers and oceans, her life’s blood, the mountains her skin and the forests her fur, are infested with a blight called man.

So, a cleansing has been called for and this brings her sadness. Brief images of devastation flashed through my mind during the download. Like a forest animal that rubs against a tree or dives into a lake to cleanse her fur, I saw earthquakes smashing cities, and walls of water, tsunamis, hitting the coasts.

But like a mother preparing to give birth, volcanic islands rose from the ocean floor to make new land, new homes for more of her beloved creatures.

I appreciate the work of those who created this brief YouTube video that still gives me pause to remember a strange bittersweet experience from three decades ago.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zlqjz9OEhk0

Additional Remarks:
Back in the 1980s I was part of a movement of scientists and physicians that studied the possible effects of an all-out-nuclear war in which thousands of megatons of TNT equivalent explosives might be detonated over our cities.

Hundreds of millions would be killed immediately and billions more from what is called "Nuclear Winter." That dreaded event would result as the ashes of burned cities blocked out the sun. Our calculations, however, indicated that in the southern hemisphere there would be many survivors. Civilization as we know it would end, but human life most certainly would go on.

We cannot destroy the Earth. Perhaps it is an expression of our limitless pride that makes us think that we can. As suggested by my "contact download" her capacity to generate new life is boundless.

Many contact experiencers, while in communication with what we imagine are extraterrestrials, describe being shown images of terrible environmental destruction. This type of encounter conveys the impression that the "aliens" (my wife Yael calls them "the whatevers" as she is not very interested in these matters) really do care about the fate of our planet.

I suggest that we are getting important wake up calls about the need to become better stewards of this jewel of a planet. Sometimes the message comes from medical doctors like my colleagues in The Nobel Peace Prize winning organization International Physicians for the Prevention of Nuclear War. Sometimes the warnings come from those "little grey guys with wrap around eyes" that enter our minds with what have been called inconvenient truths.


Comments:
Name deleted: I had a similar contact experience. On 12/12/12, I lay down to meditate, which I always do, before sleep. On this particular night, which was associated with the end of the Mayan Calendar, I immediately began to get a "download" of images. It was as if there was a slide show going on in my mind's eye. Image after image of nuclear holocaust, natural disasters, death and destruction. These images were interspersed with images of mathematical formulas...none of which I recognized consciously. Pages and pages of mathematical formulas. This went on all night long and I didn't get a wink of sleep. The following night, the same went on as soon as I closed my eyes to meditate. This time I began to telepath questions to whomever or whatever was sending me the downloaded images. The answers I got were: 1. That I was being shown images of past and possible futures, 2. That our earth and our species is in peril if we continue on this path of self-destruction, and 3. I asked about the math and was told..."Don't worry. You now have it and will understand it when you need it." This experience was a profound and "otherworldly" awakening for me, one that led me to begin exploring my relationship both with the earth on a deeper level, and also my connections with the RAHMA mission.

Joseph Burkes Thank you for sharing your personal contact experiences. I too had a download that involved mathematical equations that I couldn't understand other than they had to do with determinants of the contact drama and interactions between human action and a masterplan to open up our planet to peaceful contact with UFO intelligence.

“THE EARTH - A LIVING CREATURE!”
This is the message of a brief video created from NASA satellite imagery.
Joseph Burkes MD
I was a contact team coordinator for the CE-5 Initiative in Los Angeles from 1992 to 1998. “She is alive. She is awake and She loves us.” is the message that I received during of a kind of channeling experience that I had back in 1994 at Carlsbad Caverns New Mexico. It was an occurrence that Linda Irwin of the Unseen World radio show called a "contact download.”

I was meditating 600 feet underground. It just an hour before closing time. I sat alone in a small amphitheater cut into the rock face. With no expectations of results, I decided to reach out with my mind and try to contact with what I imagine is Earth Mother. She is called Gaia by many.

Soon two beings appeared in my mind's eye. Dressed in the garb of medieval pilgrims, I was informed that I could not interface with her directly, but through them a link could be established.

What followed was an "awake dream" that was so poignant because it combined striking visual imagery in full color with emotion and thought. The message that I “received” was as follows:
The Earth is like a beautiful woman, alive and awake and conscious of her reproductive power. Her love for all of her children, plants, animals, including us is profound. But humankind is now experienced by her as if we were a kind of pest. The rivers and oceans, her life’s blood, the mountains her skin and the forests her fur, are infested with a blight called man.

So, a cleansing has been called for and this brings her sadness. Brief images of devastation flashed through my mind during the download. Like a forest animal that rubs against a tree or dives into a lake to cleanse her fur, I saw earthquakes smashing cities, and walls of water, tsunamis, hitting the coasts.

But like a mother preparing to give birth, volcanic islands rose from the ocean floor to make new land, new homes for more of her beloved creatures.

I appreciate the work of those who created this brief YouTube video that still gives me pause to remember a strange bittersweet experience from three decades ago.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zlqjz9OEhk0

Additional Remarks:
Back in the 1980s I was part of a movement of scientists and physicians that studied the possible effects of an all-out-nuclear war in which thousands of megatons of TNT equivalent explosives might be detonated over our cities.

Hundreds of millions would be killed immediately and billions more from what is called "Nuclear Winter." That dreaded event would result as the ashes of burned cities blocked out the sun. Our calculations, however, indicated that in the southern hemisphere there would be many survivors. Civilization as we know it would end, but human life most certainly would go on.

We cannot destroy the Earth. Perhaps it is an expression of our limitless pride that makes us think that we can. As suggested by my "contact download" her capacity to generate new life is boundless.

Many contact experiencers, while in communication with what we imagine are extraterrestrials, describe being shown images of terrible environmental destruction. This type of encounter conveys the impression that the "aliens" (my wife Yael calls them "the whatevers" as she is not very interested in these matters) really do care about the fate of our planet.

I suggest that we are getting important wake up calls about the need to become better stewards of this jewel of a planet. Sometimes the message comes from medical doctors like my colleagues in The Nobel Peace Prize winning organization International Physicians for the Prevention of Nuclear War. Sometimes the warnings come from those "little grey guys with wrap around eyes" that enter our minds with what have been called inconvenient truths.


Comments:
Name deleted: I had a similar contact experience. On 12/12/12, I lay down to meditate, which I always do, before sleep. On this particular night, which was associated with the end of the Mayan Calendar, I immediately began to get a "download" of images. It was as if there was a slide show going on in my mind's eye. Image after image of nuclear holocaust, natural disasters, death and destruction. These images were interspersed with images of mathematical formulas...none of which I recognized consciously. Pages and pages of mathematical formulas. This went on all night long and I didn't get a wink of sleep. The following night, the same went on as soon as I closed my eyes to meditate. This time I began to telepath questions to whomever or whatever was sending me the downloaded images. The answers I got were: 1. That I was being shown images of past and possible futures, 2. That our earth and our species is in peril if we continue on this path of self-destruction, and 3. I asked about the math and was told..."Don't worry. You now have it and will understand it when you need it." This experience was a profound and "otherworldly" awakening for me, one that led me to begin exploring my relationship both with the earth on a deeper level, and also my connections with the RAHMA mission.

Joseph Burkes Thank you for sharing your personal contact experiences. I too had a download that involved mathematical equations that I couldn't understand other than they had to do with determinants of the contact drama and interactions between human action and a masterplan to open up our planet to peaceful contact with UFO intelligence.

“THE EARTH - A LIVING CREATURE!”
Joseph Burkes MD
I was a contact team coordinator for the CE-5 Initiative in Los Angeles from 1992 to 1998. “She is alive. She is awake and She loves us.” is the message that I received during of a kind of channeling experience that I had back in 1994 at Carlsbad Caverns New Mexico. It was an occurrence that Linda Irwin of the Unseen World radio show called a "contact download.”

I was meditating 600 feet underground. It just an hour before closing time. I sat alone in a small amphitheater cut into the rock face. With no expectations of results, I decided to reach out with my mind and try to contact with what I imagine is Earth Mother. She is called Gaia by many.

Soon two beings appeared in my mind's eye. Dressed in the garb of medieval pilgrims, I was informed that I could not interface with her directly, but through them a link could be established.

What followed was an "awake dream" that was so poignant because it combined striking visual imagery in full color with emotion and thought. The message that I “received” was as follows:
The Earth is like a beautiful woman, alive and awake and conscious of her reproductive power. Her love for all of her children, plants, animals, including us is profound. But humankind is now experienced by her as if we were a kind of pest. The rivers and oceans, her life’s blood, the mountains her skin and the forests her fur, are infested with a blight called man.

So, a cleansing has been called for and this brings her sadness. Brief images of devastation flashed through my mind during the download. Like a forest animal that rubs against a tree or dives into a lake to cleanse her fur, I saw earthquakes smashing cities, and walls of water, tsunamis, hitting the coasts.

But like a mother preparing to give birth, volcanic islands rose from the ocean floor to make new land, new homes for more of her beloved creatures.

I appreciate the work of those who created this brief YouTube video that still gives me pause to remember a strange bittersweet experience from three decades ago.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zlqjz9OEhk0

Additional Remarks:
Back in the 1980s I was part of a movement of scientists and physicians that studied the possible effects of an all-out-nuclear war in which thousands of megatons of TNT equivalent explosives might be detonated over our cities.

Hundreds of millions would be killed immediately and billions more from what is called "Nuclear Winter." That dreaded event would result as the ashes of burned cities blocked out the sun. Our calculations, however, indicated that in the southern hemisphere there would be many survivors. Civilization as we know it would end, but human life most certainly would go on.

We cannot destroy the Earth. Perhaps it is an expression of our limitless pride that makes us think that we can. As suggested by my "contact download" her capacity to generate new life is boundless.

Many contact experiencers, while in communication with what we imagine are extraterrestrials, describe being shown images of terrible environmental destruction. This type of encounter conveys the impression that the "aliens" (my wife Yael calls them "the whatevers" as she is not very interested in these matters) really do care about the fate of our planet.

I suggest that we are getting important wake up calls about the need to become better stewards of this jewel of a planet. Sometimes the message comes from medical doctors like my colleagues in The Nobel Peace Prize winning organization International Physicians for the Prevention of Nuclear War. Sometimes the warnings come from those "little grey guys with wrap around eyes" that enter our minds with what have been called inconvenient truths.


Comments:
Name deleted: I had a similar contact experience. On 12/12/12, I lay down to meditate, which I always do, before sleep. On this particular night, which was associated with the end of the Mayan Calendar, I immediately began to get a "download" of images. It was as if there was a slide show going on in my mind's eye. Image after image of nuclear holocaust, natural disasters, death and destruction. These images were interspersed with images of mathematical formulas...none of which I recognized consciously. Pages and pages of mathematical formulas. This went on all night long and I didn't get a wink of sleep. The following night, the same went on as soon as I closed my eyes to meditate. This time I began to telepath questions to whomever or whatever was sending me the downloaded images. The answers I got were: 1. That I was being shown images of past and possible futures, 2. That our earth and our species is in peril if we continue on this path of self-destruction, and 3. I asked about the math and was told..."Don't worry. You now have it and will understand it when you need it." This experience was a profound and "otherworldly" awakening for me, one that led me to begin exploring my relationship both with the earth on a deeper level, and also my connections with the RAHMA mission.

Joseph Burkes Thank you for sharing your personal contact experiences. I too had a download that involved mathematical equations that I couldn't understand other than they had to do with determinants of the contact drama and interactions between human action and a masterplan to open up our planet to peaceful contact with UFO intelligence.

“THE EARTH - A LIVING CREATURE!”
Joseph Burkes MD 2018
I was a contact team coordinator for the CE-5 Initiative in Los Angeles from 1992 to 1998. “She is alive. She is awake and She loves us.” is the message that I received during of a kind of channeling experience that I had back in 1994 at Carlsbad Caverns New Mexico. It was an occurrence that Linda Irwin of the Unseen World radio show called a "contact download.”

I was meditating 600 feet underground. It just an hour before closing time. I sat alone in a small amphitheater cut into the rock face. With no expectations of results, I decided to reach out with my mind and try to contact with what I imagine is Earth Mother. She is called Gaia by many.

Soon two beings appeared in my mind's eye. Dressed in the garb of medieval pilgrims, I was informed that I could not interface with her directly, but through them a link could be established.

What followed was an "awake dream" that was so poignant because it combined striking visual imagery in full color with emotion and thought. The message that I “received” was as follows:
The Earth is like a beautiful woman, alive and awake and conscious of her reproductive power. Her love for all of her children, plants, animals, including us is profound. But humankind is now experienced by her as if we were a kind of pest. The rivers and oceans, her life’s blood, the mountains her skin and the forests her fur, are infested with a blight called man.

So, a cleansing has been called for and this brings her sadness. Brief images of devastation flashed through my mind during the download. Like a forest animal that rubs against a tree or dives into a lake to cleanse her fur, I saw earthquakes smashing cities, and walls of water, tsunamis, hitting the coasts.

But like a mother preparing to give birth, volcanic islands rose from the ocean floor to make new land, new homes for more of her beloved creatures.

I appreciate the work of those who created this brief YouTube video that still gives me pause to remember a strange bittersweet experience from three decades ago.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zlqjz9OEhk0

Additional Remarks:
Back in the 1980s I was part of a movement of scientists and physicians that studied the possible effects of an all-out-nuclear war in which thousands of megatons of TNT equivalent explosives might be detonated over our cities.

Hundreds of millions would be killed immediately and billions more from what is called "Nuclear Winter." That dreaded event would result as the ashes of burned cities blocked out the sun. Our calculations, however, indicated that in the southern hemisphere there would be many survivors. Civilization as we know it would end, but human life most certainly would go on.

We cannot destroy the Earth. Perhaps it is an expression of our limitless pride that makes us think that we can. As suggested by my "contact download" her capacity to generate new life is boundless.

Many contact experiencers, while in communication with what we imagine are extraterrestrials, describe being shown images of terrible environmental destruction. This type of encounter conveys the impression that the "aliens" (my wife Yael calls them "the whatevers" as she is not very interested in these matters) really do care about the fate of our planet.

I suggest that we are getting important wake up calls about the need to become better stewards of this jewel of a planet. Sometimes the message comes from medical doctors like my colleagues in The Nobel Peace Prize winning organization International Physicians for the Prevention of Nuclear War. Sometimes the warnings come from those "little grey guys with wrap around eyes" that enter our minds with what have been called inconvenient truths.


Comments:
Name deleted: I had a similar contact experience. On 12/12/12, I lay down to meditate, which I always do, before sleep. On this particular night, which was associated with the end of the Mayan Calendar, I immediately began to get a "download" of images. It was as if there was a slide show going on in my mind's eye. Image after image of nuclear holocaust, natural disasters, death and destruction. These images were interspersed with images of mathematical formulas...none of which I recognized consciously. Pages and pages of mathematical formulas. This went on all night long and I didn't get a wink of sleep. The following night, the same went on as soon as I closed my eyes to meditate. This time I began to telepath questions to whomever or whatever was sending me the downloaded images. The answers I got were: 1. That I was being shown images of past and possible futures, 2. That our earth and our species is in peril if we continue on this path of self-destruction, and 3. I asked about the math and was told..."Don't worry. You now have it and will understand it when you need it." This experience was a profound and "otherworldly" awakening for me, one that led me to begin exploring my relationship both with the earth on a deeper level, and also my connections with the RAHMA mission.

Joseph Burkes Thank you for sharing your personal contact experiences. I too had a download that involved mathematical equations that I couldn't understand other than they had to do with determinants of the contact drama and interactions between human action and a masterplan to open up our planet to peaceful contact with UFO intelligence.

“THE EARTH - A LIVING CREATURE!”
Joseph Burkes MD 2018
I was a contact team coordinator for the CE-5 Initiative in Los Angeles from 1992 to 1998. “She is alive. She is awake and She loves us.” is the message that I received during of a kind of channeling experience that I had back in 1994 at Carlsbad Caverns New Mexico. It was an occurrence that Linda Irwin of the Unseen World radio show called a "contact download.”

I was meditating 600 feet underground. It just an hour before closing time. I sat alone in a small amphitheater cut into the rock face. With no expectations of results, I decided to reach out with my mind and try to contact with what I imagine is Earth Mother. She is called Gaia by many.

Soon two beings appeared in my mind's eye. Dressed in the garb of medieval pilgrims, I was informed that I could not interface with her directly, but through them a link could be established.

What followed was an "awake dream" that was so poignant because it combined striking visual imagery in full color with emotion and thought. The message that I “received” was as follows:
The Earth is like a beautiful woman, alive and awake and conscious of her reproductive power. Her love for all of her children, plants, animals, including us is profound. But humankind is now experienced by her as if we were a kind of pest. The rivers and oceans, her life’s blood, the mountains her skin and the forests her fur, are infested with a blight called man.

So, a cleansing has been called for and this brings her sadness. Brief images of devastation flashed through my mind during the download. Like a forest animal that rubs against a tree or dives into a lake to cleanse her fur, I saw earthquakes smashing cities, and walls of water, tsunamis, hitting the coasts.

But like a mother preparing to give birth, volcanic islands rose from the ocean floor to make new land, new homes for more of her beloved creatures.

I appreciate the work of those who created this brief YouTube video that still gives me pause to remember a strange bittersweet experience from three decades ago.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zlqjz9OEhk0

Additional Remarks:
Back in the 1980s I was part of a movement of scientists and physicians that studied the possible effects of an all-out-nuclear war in which thousands of megatons of TNT equivalent explosives might be detonated over our cities.

Hundreds of millions would be killed immediately and billions more from what is called "Nuclear Winter." That dreaded event would result as the ashes of burned cities blocked out the sun. Our calculations, however, indicated that in the southern hemisphere there would be many survivors. Civilization as we know it would end, but human life most certainly would go on.

We cannot destroy the Earth. Perhaps it is an expression of our limitless pride that makes us think that we can. As suggested by my "contact download" her capacity to generate new life is boundless.

Many contact experiencers, while in communication with what we imagine are extraterrestrials, describe being shown images of terrible environmental destruction. This type of encounter conveys the impression that the "aliens" (my wife Yael calls them "the whatevers" as she is not very interested in these matters) really do care about the fate of our planet.

I suggest that we are getting important wake up calls about the need to become better stewards of this jewel of a planet. Sometimes the message comes from medical doctors like my colleagues in The Nobel Peace Prize winning organization International Physicians for the Prevention of Nuclear War. Sometimes the warnings come from those "little grey guys with wrap around eyes" that enter our minds with what have been called inconvenient truths.


Comments:
Name deleted: I had a similar contact experience. On 12/12/12, I lay down to meditate, which I always do, before sleep. On this particular night, which was associated with the end of the Mayan Calendar, I immediately began to get a "download" of images. It was as if there was a slide show going on in my mind's eye. Image after image of nuclear holocaust, natural disasters, death and destruction. These images were interspersed with images of mathematical formulas...none of which I recognized consciously. Pages and pages of mathematical formulas. This went on all night long and I didn't get a wink of sleep. The following night, the same went on as soon as I closed my eyes to meditate. This time I began to telepath questions to whomever or whatever was sending me the downloaded images. The answers I got were: 1. That I was being shown images of past and possible futures, 2. That our earth and our species is in peril if we continue on this path of self-destruction, and 3. I asked about the math and was told..."Don't worry. You now have it and will understand it when you need it." This experience was a profound and "otherworldly" awakening for me, one that led me to begin exploring my relationship both with the earth on a deeper level, and also my connections with the RAHMA mission.

Joseph Burkes Thank you for sharing your personal contact experiences. I too had a download that involved mathematical equations that I couldn't understand other than they had to do with determinants of the contact drama and interactions between human action and a masterplan to open up our planet to peaceful contact with UFO intelligence.

This will be my first time ever openly sharing about my addiction; from the root cause to the effects and struggles that having a porn addiction has impacted my life to this day
So I just recently turned 21 and I'm beginning to look around and realize that for as long as I've acknowledged that I have a problem and need to quit, I keep feeding the addiction KNOWING that it's ruining my life. I'm going to split this post into 3 sections explaining the following stages: The root causes/early development, Progression of my addiction to current day, and Main struggles from my PA and how I go about everyday life to heal. Not exactly sure why I'm posting this but I just feel like it's something I need to let out. Hope someone can relate or give me their take on it.
The root causes/early development: So I believe that my PA manifested due to a few different reasons: Playing "doctor" with my sister as a child, early age porn exposure, and then using porn as a coping mechanism to deal with any negative emotions. So starting w/ "playing doctor", it first happened at a very young age, somewhere between elementary school to 6th grade. I think most people know what that is but to keep it short basically my sister who is a year older than me introduced my to basically role playing as doctor and patient. I wasn't sure if SHE even knew it was wrong but the point is, it happened. I genuinely don't think she was doing in an abusive way but I'll never know. I don't remember the small details of exactly how it happened but what leads me to think this was a factor that contributed to my porn addiction is that I know now as an adult that it's wrong, however as we "played doctor" I only grew to enjoy it and occasionally we took things outside of "playing doctor" - which is why I don't know what to make of it... Long story short it went from "doctor" to us making up our own games like "spy" where we pretended to fight each other as spy's, getting "knocked out" unconscious while she'd touch... and I specifically remember wanting to play these games in hopes that it led to that. But even outside of playing games I grew to wanting to touch her and act on perverted thoughts as a child that were NOT normal for my age or in general. And sometimes I would sneakily act on them - which as I'm reflecting on right now makes me think that me KNOWINGLY trying to be sneaky and act on perverted thoughts at that young of an age had to have carried on with me as I got older (contributing to my porn addiction).. And then the last thing that I vividly remember was when I was probably 10-12 years old is when again we were actually kind of aggressively play fighting, somehow ended up with each other's hands DOWN THERE mutually and we kept going on with each other until she made me.... yeah. And that was the last memory I had of what started out as us "playing doctor". Fast forward to current date since that last memory and we've never spoken about those experiences (more on that later). Going onto the actual exposure of pornography and WATCHING porn, I was exposed to it somewhere in between the same timeframe as when I'd play doctor and the last memory of us playing (somewhere between the ages of 8-12). I can vividly remember the scene that played late at night on the tv that my parents had left on (I shared a room with them). And then moving forward from there, somewhere in between I would find videos on YouTube of this "prank" channel where he'd go up to paid actors, bet that if he beat them in rock paper scissors that they'd have to make out with him. And as a young kid at the time seeing a girl in a bikini making out with a guy as he grabbed on her ass just made me horny and I learned to masturbate from there. And I cant think of a stronger dopamine hit for a 8-12 year old little me at the time than seeing those videos and pleasuring myself. After this, I'd hit middle school where I was bullied a lot, all while lacking social skills necessary to make any genuine friends or deal with the emotional turmoil of being bullied. Fast forward a few months and I think I just progressively began to normalize using porn as a coping mechanism - All the way from whenever I just got mad while dying repetitively on the videogame, to avoiding the fact that I hated my life everyday that I went to school. I'd use porn to receive that "good feeling" whenever I could. And I think my sexual addiction got worse when I began touching myself in the shower almost everyday in middle school to the imagination of the pretty girls that were at my school, even though I had neverarely talked to some of them. It was just a thing for me where every night I took a shower, I closed my eyes and fantasized about doing stuff with them. And then the cycles of me normalizing these things continued and eventually I found out about REAL porn sites.
Progression of my addiction to current day: So shortly after finding the real porn sites I entirely opted to use those as much as possible as the cycle continued. So by my freshman year of high school I was already using porn sites regularly. I remember during summer and winter breaks, sometimes I'd sleep at my grandmas and stay up all night switching from ejaculating to porn, to watching my favorite youtuber and streamers, to going back to jerking off. It was a multiple times a day/night occurrence OFTEN. Sometimes even during the middle of the day I'd pretend to use the bathroom but really I had a porn video pulled up and I watched until I was done. And as time progressed one video didn't exactly cut it for me. I don't think its that I couldn't get off to the first video, but more so that I just had the urge to see more and didn't want to nut yet. I didn't even know if I was purposely edging or not. I did not even understand that edging was a concept yet. Its just something that occurred naturally for me. And during all of this, I am still somewhere in the age range of 13-15. Consistently ejaculating to pornography, further exploring the more basic categories of porn like anal and lesbian. I think a notable memory was one of the first times I watched porn in the middle of work during summer break (extended family owns a construction company so I worked over breaks). It's crazy because in construction all we have are porta-potties that are always hot and nasty and the urge just came over me one day to pretend like I was using the bathroom and get one off before I went back... I don't think I even realized at the time that I had an addiction because this was still early high school. It was just something I looked at as a good feeling and whenever the urges came to me I took any chance I got to fulfill them. Even if I was sharing a room with a family member, I'd be as slow and quit as I could, touch myself under the covers, finish in my underwear and then showechange the next morning like it was normal. Moving forward, this type of behavior continues all the way throughout high school and the feeling of ejaculating just is not as intense as it use to be, so I look up ways to spice it up and I tried shit all the way from sitting on my own hand til it goes sort or numb so it "feels like someone else is touching you", to doing it in more risky places like my backyard outside when I was home alone and had my pants pulled down all the way, to whatever else I could try. Reflecting back, I just look at all these actions as the progressions of a sexual/porn addiction that is still developing. And this is how I rationalize the way I developed a porn addiction. Now it wasn't AWFUL in high school but it was getting bad. I realized that I had actually had a bad addiction that needed to be addressed a few months after graduating high school. From that point forward It was something that I had acknowledged was an issue but nonetheless, continued to do out of habit and as a continued coping mechanism. Whether it was from the lack of relationships, to my current life situation/direction I was headed in, or just any negative emotion - I used porn to release. Sometimes I'd even just do it out of boredom, not even because I had a dying urge to get one off. And then after that point of realization, I sat in "depression" for a few months still going about my everyday life until one day my dad mentioned that I should try therapy. He knew nothing about the addiction but I did let him know I feel depressed and the many struggles that I faced - which I believe is due to my porn addiction. So long story short, I go to therapy for about 3 sessions and end up dropping it because it just wasn't something I felt was helping or enjoyed (more on that later). From there to current day, I've gone at MOST one week periods attempting to quit porn and every time I relapse. From the age of 1 to-current day 21 years old, the progression of the categories of porn that I watch has grown and a few different fetishes like face sitting, femdom, and role play has increased. I don't NEED to watch these specific categories to get off, however these are ones I've found myself most recently watching and edging to, sometimes for 1-3 hours at a time, usually at night on weekends or before I fall asleep. And to take it a step further, I had started pouring money into camgirl sites, phone sex sites, only fans, etc.. I live with my parents still so it's not to the point that I'm broke and have no money, but still what the fuck am I doing putting my hard earned money into a porn addiction... (I'm a functioning adult on a pathway to financial freedom, more on this later).
Main struggles from my PA and how I go about everyday life to heal: So I believe that the main struggles with my porn addiction consist of: the inability/struggle to create and maintain healthy relationships, low self esteem, poor social skills, lack of motivation, and the cognitive dissonance of continuing my addiction to porn even though morally I believe it is wrong to lust over. I believe all of these struggles that come with porn are connected to each other - minus the cognitive dissonance. But everything else kind of stacks on top of each other. So my thought process is that I already dealt w/ low self esteem and confidence from a very young age, and porn just completely enhanced those problems and made it even harder to fix/work on. If you're anything like me and have watched videos on the sciences of porn on your brain, and possible struggles that we deal with, I'm assuming you know how it goes for the most part. I'd say I show symptoms of all effects of being a porn addict, however I've learned to "act normal" to an extent. Like YES I struggle to make friends and hold conversations with people in general but I can make it happen. Sure it'll be a little awkward depending on who I'm speaking to, but I feel like I act normal enough to not be a total outcast and all out weirdo around people. But I just feel like every relationship I have with anyone is extremely surface level or unfulfilling. I feel like as a person I lack so much substance and personality due to the fact that I never really put myself out there and learned social skills when I was coming up. My mindset was molded into something like "keep your head down and stay out the way" in order to avoid conflict. So I never really put myself out there to develop any type of super crazy/interesting personality. I work, play videogames, go to the gym, watch anime. I feel like there's not much else - which might also be a side affect of my porn addiction. Lack of emotion. And I refuse to call it depression. Kind of got red pilled by Andrew Tate Philosophy and it entirely HAS helped me. Maybe it's real, maybe it's not - because when I was fresh out of high school and hyper focused on the bad parts of my life, I felt depressed as shit. Legit like I couldn't do anything to fix it. And the more I identified as "depressed" the more I allowed myself to look for things in my life to confirm that belief. So eventually I went on a self improvement journey and just stopped allowing "depression" to hold power over me. Now I don't believe in it so it's not something that can hold me down in that crippling way. HOWEVER, I DO believe in just being in a shitty situation - which is what I feel like having a porn addiction along with it's effects and symptoms is. It's a shitty situation and I can either allow it to keep ruining my life OR I can get up everyday and attempt to fix it. And I refuse to play the victim card. Sure, I may have been exposed to some fucked up shit at a young age and used porn as a coping mechanism. There is no denying that it happened and that it may have been unfair and out of my control. YES, that's my problem. I may be a victim of pornography but I do not have to ALLOW it to continue to ruin my life. Easier said than done but it's definitely possible and I will not blame my lack of discipline or call it "depression" because I'm unable to quit. The way I see it is, there is a lot of shit that happened to me in the past that I have to come to terms with, and then I must come up with a plan to improve and learn how to be better. For example, struggling to hold eye contact with people, hold basic conversation with people (specifically women), find confidence within myself, become more social, etc... These are all skills that we can practice and learn. Simply by going outside and putting ourselves in uncomfortable situations that allow us to put the reps in. I believe that if I quit porn and start walking up to 10 strangers a day and try having simple conversations with them, in time I can only get better at being social and connecting with people. It's gonna suck and feel like shit at first, but I truly believe that it's a way to improve and get better. As I stand in my current situation I would say I have a lot of work to do but I'm still a functioning addict. I have friendships and relationships with family but they are very lack luster and I long for something deeper and more intimate. I know I'm not ugly and have the ability to pull a good looking girl, shit I've turned down this really pretty girl who always asks to hangout simply due to the fact that I feel like I'm gonna fuck it up and have bad social skills. And its getting to a point where friends and family are wondering why I haven't had a girlfriend in years. Overall its a lack of self esteem, which hinders me from being able to confidently put myself out there as a person who's deserving of love/companionship, which then makes me sort of self isolate and stray away from any type of connection or opportunity to be vulnerable. Which just leads me to feeling like a loser or someone that is undeserving of love because I'm just in a shitty situation. And yeah. Its kind of a self sabotaging cycle because I feel like I understand what's going on but I don't have the discipline and don't put the work in to get better. But that's just my two cents. This post was extremely long and I probably rifted off topic a few times and had my thoughts all over the place, and I still have a lot more I could give input about but this is the jist of everything
If anyone has a support group or needs someone to talk to, 1. I'd like to join the group, or 2. Feel free to message me for any support or conversation.

Okay, so now around 9 days are left and everyone is geared up to give their jee advanced. This is my last option for a good college as I have secured 98+ percentile. So it's a do and dir situation for me. My plan for the following days are :
Though I have done many pyqs, but for a more perfection, I will do them in a sequential manner from marks app.

1. Give full day Test daily till 20 and 22,24.
   
2. Do marks app pyqs of phy and maths + jee nexus chemistry pyqs.
   
3. I have already done mission iit questions and some material, will se whether I am able to complete all this task till 19 and then do cats+ from 19 to 22 (low chances).
   
4. Now comes the main part, inorganic. I have done p block mostly and metallurgy. But I feel I need some more perfection in rattafication of metallurgy reactions as probably a direct question will come from it. Same goes with biomolecules.
   

Also, pls tell me from where shall I cover the isomerism part of coordination chemistry? I have done from many lecs but I didn't understand, any lecture which u would suggest? Will be grateful to you guys for it.