“Your girlfriend’s here” my brother and roommate called from across the house in an obnoxious tone. I didn’t feel like getting up see what he was talking about. I didn’t have a girlfriend, my social anxiety wouldn’t allow it.
With an exasperated sigh I got off the couch. “What are you talking about? Who’s at the…”
My brain froze, she was standing there. Her, Rachel. The girl. She had barely changed, she still had those big brown eyes that had pulled me in a decade ago. She was as beautiful as the last time I had seen her.
Oh God. No.
The memories came rushing back, the memories I had spent years repressing. I had all but convinced myself that night never happened.
I had been a freshman in college, away from everyone I knew for the first time. Making friends wasn’t easy but I was far from a loner.
Rachel and I had some class together, I don’t remember what it was for. We were bored and swapped each other others Snapchat IDs.
We talked occasionally over the next few weeks, commenting on each other’s stories and stuff. Then kind of out of the blue she asked if I wanted come over her place. Her and some friends were having a movie night.
“Heck yeah” I replied with a smiley emoji. “Awesome! We plan on watching the entire LOTR trilogy, pull an all nighter but you know how that’s probably gonna go lol”.
At the time I would have barely considered us friends, but if she wanted to explore things past that I was totally cool with the idea. She was fun, kind and really pretty.
The night came and sure enough the living room floor in the house her and her friends were renting was covered in mattresses.
She greeted me with a hug, it was nice. I think that was the first time we had had any sort of physical contact. After some introductions to the people already there we settled down to watch the movie.
It's funny what your brain locks onto. Shit went to hell right after the troll is killed. Three guys and a girl abruptly stood and starting walking backwards until they were each against opposing walls. Their eyes were blank, almost clouded over.
Rachel was standing in the hallway, the Whiteclaw she was holding fell to the floor but she didn’t seem to notice. Her eyes were wide, she glanced at me for just a moment.
A few people kind of chuckled nervously, the room had a weird tension to it. Like we all knew something wasn’t right but we didn’t know what to do about it.
Each of the four took off their shirts, they threw them to the side never blinking those awful eyes.
Energy was surging through me, I needed to go. I needed out. The girl next to me screamed, I turned to see the chest of the guy standing nearest her bulging. His skin split up the center revealing writhing mass inside him!
Others began to scream and stand, all of the four who stood glassy eyed now had gapping chest cavities. With a wet squelch tentacle like appendages burst out from them!
My heart skipped a beat leaving me gasping painfully for breath. The girl next to me was lifted from where she sat and pulled towards the nearest tentacle monster.
I didn’t help her, I didn’t help anyone. Others tried running but were snatched up and entangled in those wet dark green arms!
Unlike the others I didn’t run for the door. I scrambled up the stairs, pulling myself up with my hands as my feet tried to keep pace. I lost my fingernails but I didn’t care, I needed out!
Rachel didn’t move, she didn’t so much as glance my way.
I didn’t have time to think about that. I reached the top of the stairs just as one of the creatures started up after me. I ran into the nearest bedroom and closed the door behind me.
Running on pure adrenaline I ripped open the window and climbed onto the roof. I stopped myself from jumping down, I was directly over the front door. I could see light spilling across the front yard, the door was open.
Grabbing the gutter and praying it would hold I pulled myself up above the window. I had just cleared the window when I heard the bedroom door shatter. I ran across the roof at a reckless speed.
I didn’t think, I just jumped. The house was on a hill, that fact might have been what saved me. I fell what was probably thirty feet but landed on my ass on an incline.
Rather than shattering my legs I slid down the hill. Until my foot caught something and sent me tumbling head first through the ferns and brambles.
Once I caught my footing again I ran to the bottom of the hill. I found a road and followed it. At some point I cried myself to sleep under a tree.
I never went back. I didn’t even pack my things. Somehow my car ended up back at my dorm. After searching it I climbed in and drove two states back to my parents house.
I told them I flunked out and couldn’t afford my dorm. They were pissed but I didn’t care. I should have gone to therapy but I felt like that would have been like admitting it was real. I just couldn’t do it. I buried the memories by self medicating. I lived by leeching off others for years before I started getting my life back together.
Before convincing myself that night had never happened.
“Dude, that was ridiculous”. My brother’s voice pulled me from my memories, my dream? I was back on the couch. Rachel was nowhere to be seen.
“Seriously man, she’s cute and all but passing out because a girl talked to you? That’s next level bro”. I sat up looking around “where is she?” I demanded.
“Chill man, you probably freaked her out when you went all limp. Don’t worry, not only did I catch you and drag your heavy ass to the couch I got a note from her”.
I ripped the paper from his hand. “She took off pretty quick, she looked spooked. Anyways I have to get going, someone needs to pay the bills around here”.
I ignored him, my entire focus was riveted to the hand written note.
“I’m sorry to barge into your life like this but we need to talk. It’s urgent”.
She left an address and said to be there Saturday at noon.
I don’t know what to do. My memories of that night have to be false, there was no police reports, no missing people. It had to have been in my head. Maybe Rachel can clear things up for me, give me the closure I need.

Partner (30m) was away at work for the last two weeks. I (33f) picked him up from the airport this morning. On our way to his house, he was talking about something (I don’t even remember what it was about anymore), and he made an off-side comment to me, such as “You lack brain cells, and you are a sheep in the flock." I quipped back, saying, “You’re not special"—totally thinking he was playing around with me. Then he flipped out. He called me a b*tch. He said to drive him home immediately, and if I tried to come into his house, he would call the cops on me for trespassing. He told me I disrespected him. I tried to apologize and talk to him, but he wouldn’t listen to anything I had to say, and he told me he didn’t care about me. He proceeded to immediately block me off of all social media and through text. And that’s where I’m at right now, lol. Everything happened so quickly. I feel foolish for making the comment that I did. I just totally feel drained out. This is not what I had in mind for my Saturday. Thoughts? Opinions? Virtual hug?
Update: Hello, everyone. Thank you for taking the time to comment and post in my thread. Your support is very much appreciated. ♥️
I’ll be honest, I have an anxious attachment style, so I did try to reach out to him throughout the day; however, it was met with me being left on "seen." He blocked me on Facebook and through text, but I noticed he simply unfriended me on Instagram, so that’s how I tried to communicate with him today.
Unfortunately, he ended up leaving his AirPods in my car, and I let him know this, but he gave my message a thumbs up emoji, and that was it. He did not respond to any of my DMs, calls, or FaceTime requests. I’ve since deleted all of my social media because I feel like I need to disappear for a while and reconnect with myself. And I’m aware of my insecurities and how I handled my (poor) reaction to him abruptly blocking me/ending things.
My brain is throbbing from being emotional today, haha. I feel completely drained out... I agree with everyone’s sentiments in regards to dodging a bullet. It’s so, so hurtful to be discarded and not feel cared about. Like, I’m some afterthought or the gum beneath his shoe.
I’m not sure if he cheated on me, but he was definitely into women based on some of the comments he would make to me and his following on Instagram (also calling women bitches, at times—so not very respectful). He told me he was coined the “Tinder King” (gross) by his colleagues before he met me.
On a side-note: It’s hard for me to believe that he was intent on ending things. He seemed happy to be home (before the fight) and commented during the week that he wanted me to spend the weekend with him. When we embraced this morning at the airport, it was like a sigh of relief for the both of us. We melted into each other's arms. I don’t know; it felt real and genuine. There's no use picking my brain apart from it anymore, though. :/
Oh, and he never thanked me for the ride. :s
That’s that. Much love, light, and warmth to you all. XO
Update #2: I am rummaging through and rereading all of the comments. Again, I appreciate everybody’s time and thoughts on this. 💕
It’s been hard to sleep. I feel off and weird. I don’t really know how to describe this feeling. I almost feel hollow.
Sadly, he knows my address and where I live, so the AirPod location thing wouldn’t matter. Since I no longer have a way to contact him, I'm going to drop the AirPods off at his house later today. I'll just do a quick knock on his door, leave them on his stoop, and walk away indefinitely.
I also don’t believe he’ll come “running back to me." He has too much pride and ego. Him blocking me means he is done and moving on, and so am I.

“Your girlfriend’s here” my brother and roommate called from across the house in an obnoxious tone. I didn’t feel like getting up see what he was talking about. I didn’t have a girlfriend, my social anxiety wouldn’t allow it.
With an exasperated sigh I got off the couch. “What are you talking about? Who’s at the…”
My brain froze, she was standing there. Her, Rachel. The girl. She had barely changed, she still had those big brown eyes that had pulled me in a decade ago. She was as beautiful as the last time I had seen her.
Oh God. No.
The memories came rushing back, the memories I had spent years repressing. I had all but convinced myself that night never happened.
I had been a freshman in college, away from everyone I knew for the first time. Making friends wasn’t easy but I was far from a loner.
Rachel and I had some class together, I don’t remember what it was for. We were bored and swapped each other others Snapchat IDs.
We talked occasionally over the next few weeks, commenting on each other’s stories and stuff. Then kind of out of the blue she asked if I wanted come over her place. Her and some friends were having a movie night.
“Heck yeah” I replied with a smiley emoji. “Awesome! We plan on watching the entire LOTR trilogy, pull an all nighter but you know how that’s probably gonna go lol”.
At the time I would have barely considered us friends, but if she wanted to explore things past that I was totally cool with the idea. She was fun, kind and really pretty.
The night came and sure enough the living room floor in the house her and her friends were renting was covered in mattresses.
She greeted me with a hug, it was nice. I think that was the first time we had had any sort of physical contact. After some introductions to the people already there we settled down to watch the movie.
It's funny what your brain locks onto. Shit went to hell right after the troll is killed. Three guys and a girl abruptly stood and starting walking backwards until they were each against opposing walls. Their eyes were blank, almost clouded over.
Rachel was standing in the hallway, the Whiteclaw she was holding fell to the floor but she didn’t seem to notice. Her eyes were wide, she glanced at me for just a moment.
A few people kind of chuckled nervously, the room had a weird tension to it. Like we all knew something wasn’t right but we didn’t know what to do about it.
Each of the four took off their shirts, they threw them to the side never blinking those awful eyes.
Energy was surging through me, I needed to go. I needed out. The girl next to me screamed, I turned to see the chest of the guy standing nearest her bulging. His skin split up the center revealing writhing mass inside him!
Others began to scream and stand, all of the four who stood glassy eyed now had gapping chest cavities. With a wet squelch tentacle like appendages burst out from them!
My heart skipped a beat leaving me gasping painfully for breath. The girl next to me was lifted from where she sat and pulled towards the nearest tentacle monster.
I didn’t help her, I didn’t help anyone. Others tried running but were snatched up and entangled in those wet dark green arms!
Unlike the others I didn’t run for the door. I scrambled up the stairs, pulling myself up with my hands as my feet tried to keep pace. I lost my fingernails but I didn’t care, I needed out!
Rachel didn’t move, she didn’t so much as glance my way.
I didn’t have time to think about that. I reached the top of the stairs just as one of the creatures started up after me. I ran into the nearest bedroom and closed the door behind me.
Running on pure adrenaline I ripped open the window and climbed onto the roof. I stopped myself from jumping down, I was directly over the front door. I could see light spilling across the front yard, the door was open.
Grabbing the gutter and praying it would hold I pulled myself up above the window. I had just cleared the window when I heard the bedroom door shatter. I ran across the roof at a reckless speed.
I didn’t think, I just jumped. The house was on a hill, that fact might have been what saved me. I fell what was probably thirty feet but landed on my ass on an incline.
Rather than shattering my legs I slid down the hill. Until my foot caught something and sent me tumbling head first through the ferns and brambles.
Once I caught my footing again I ran to the bottom of the hill. I found a road and followed it. At some point I cried myself to sleep under a tree.
I never went back. I didn’t even pack my things. Somehow my car ended up back at my dorm. After searching it I climbed in and drove two states back to my parents house.
I told them I flunked out and couldn’t afford my dorm. They were pissed but I didn’t care. I should have gone to therapy but I felt like that would have been like admitting it was real. I just couldn’t do it. I buried the memories by self medicating. I lived by leeching off others for years before I started getting my life back together.
Before convincing myself that night had never happened.
“Dude, that was ridiculous”. My brother’s voice pulled me from my memories, my dream? I was back on the couch. Rachel was nowhere to be seen.
“Seriously man, she’s cute and all but passing out because a girl talked to you? That’s next level bro”. I sat up looking around “where is she?” I demanded.
“Chill man, you probably freaked her out when you went all limp. Don’t worry, not only did I catch you and drag your heavy ass to the couch I got a note from her”.
I ripped the paper from his hand. “She took off pretty quick, she looked spooked. Anyways I have to get going, someone needs to pay the bills around here”.
I ignored him, my entire focus was riveted to the hand written note.
“I’m sorry to barge into your life like this but we need to talk. It’s urgent”.
She left an address and said to be there Saturday at noon.
I don’t know what to do. My memories of that night have to be false, there was no police reports, no missing people. It had to have been in my head. Maybe Rachel can clear things up for me, give me the closure I need.

Okay so I'm not sure how to feel about this.
As the title states I'm a woman and so is she (duh) so I don't think this is about safety?
So last week me and a couple of friends and mutuals of friends had a hangout and I talked with this woman for awhile and we connected a bit. She seemed into me and when I asked her out to dinner I didn't explicitly say it was a date but she seemed to understand what I was getting at. If we were alone I would've just bluntly asked her out but we were in front of a bunch of people and I didn't want to possibly get publicly rejected lol.
Anyways, she texted me and we set up a date and time for Hibachi. She sent me heart emojis and all that. She also sat by me yesterday at a congregation meet up and later on hugged me even though we've had limited interaction before this.
Then today, 6 hours before dinner she sent me a message asking if one of our mutual friends could come along. I'm not sure how to feel about this and I don't know if said mutual friend invited herself along (she can be kinda pushy and not always aware) or if my date invited her?
Am I overreacting? Is this normal? I've never went on a date before and feel weird about this...

I (31F) have been with my partner (46M) for about 3 years now. We moved in together when our son was 4 months old (he's 16 months now). I am bisexual and have always been really open about it. I've primarily dated men, but had two serious girlfriends in the past (when I was 21 and 18). He knows all of this.
When we first got together he had pretty intense jealousy and thought every male contact outside of family wanted to sleep with me. It impacted a lot of my casual friendships and connections because I worked as an independent wrestler at the time (pre-pregnancy). Per his request, I stopped talking with most of my acquaintances outside of when we're all at shows. I don't have many close friends, so this left me with roughly 3 people - (names changed) Anna, Carrie, and Henry. Anna I speak to once or twice a month. Carrie and Henry I used to speak with daily.
Fast forward to this year, 2024. He started getting upset at my speaking/texting with Henry, who I've known for over 7 years. Henry also has CRPS and other issues due to a freak heart attack 3 years ago - I worry about him and check in to see how he and his mental health are. (Important info: CRPS is nicknamed "suicide disease"). I had to cut him off because it got to the point where my partner blew up one day and then asked me to text this friend asking him to sleep with me. To which my friend replied "No. I would never break up a family" and then "hi [partners name]". I miss him, a lot.
Now, two months post cutting Henry off, partner has started to complain about Carrie. Carrie and I have been thick as thieves for 8 years. IMPORTANT DETAILS- we refer to each other as our sister and Carrie is straight. She has seen me through some of the hardest moments of my life through my 20's and continues to be there for me. I've helped her exit a physically abusive relationship and try to be there for her in any way she needs. She is truly the best friend I've ever had in my life. The (platonic) love and respect is the most mutual thing I've ever experienced in my life.
HERE'S THE ISSUE. He has started saying that if we didn't get together - I'd be with Carrie. I'm pretty sure my face looked like the puke emoji when he said this. He went on to say that I look at her with "stars in my eyes" and that I wait on her hand-and-foot when she visits. When I told him he was wrong and reminded him that she's essentially my sister in all but blood he stated "Sister from Kentucky maybe". This all started as soon as she was the only friend I contacted on a daily basis. As for the "waiting on her" thing, I treat her the same way I treat any guest/family member in my home. I'll tell you where the fridge is, grab towels/shampoo for you, and I won't ask you to clean up while you're here. I have done the same for every friend of his and family member of his that has visited and stayed overnight.
He has also complained directly on the fact that I focus on her over him while she visits. He has explicitly said that he feels that he is in competition with her. She lives over 3 hours away. I only get to see her once every other month or so. I also still do everything for him that I usually do (cook his dinner, clean up, hugs/kisses) while she's here. The biggest difference is she usually helps me with the infant care (I do all childcare) and we talk a lot.
How on earth due I curb his jealousy? I refuse to cut her off. The notion that I'm in love with her is absurd. I don't know how he can understand that he can have platonic relationships with women, but I can't have a platonic relationship with anyone.
Important notes - there's never been cheating of any kind from me OR him. He used to complain about her faking her seizures & her driving (she's on medication and her Dr. has not revoked her license), which has morphed into being angry about how close we are.
TLDR - Partner of 3 years is recently jealous of my oldest female friend and is generally upset at how close she and I are. Feels as if he is in competition with her. How can I alleviate his jealousy?

I'm an ISTJ and have never dated anyone like my ENTJ. We've been together for between 2 and 3 months and there's definitely some things I'm trying to understand and would appreciate input from other ENTJs (women specifically). We both work together and see each other maybe once every workday or every other for a 30 minute break. We also drive together to work once a week and we also spend time and overnights on the weekends just for context.
She definitely has a colder personality when at work (and she admits it) and it seems much different than when she's not at work. She is hyper focused and in what I like to call "work mode". She also has these modes outside of work though, and sometimes she can be in "affectionate mode", or "focused mode", or "distant from me mode" etc but maybe that is just how I'm seeing it from the outside. I sometimes get confused during these mode changes because they can happen multiple times throughout the day and I'm just making sure this is an ENTJ characteristic and normal behavior.
I know she cares about me because sometimes she'll do very sweet things such as send me a heart emoji or something to my phone while we're at work. Sometimes these sort of actions are consistent like a few days in a row, or a few days a week... but other times there's nothing for a week or more.
I'll also sometimes get "i love you so much, can't wait to see you tomorrow" type text messages at night but then when I see her the next day I definitely don't always see those words translate to how she feels in person and it definitely confuses me a bit because it's almost as if a different person sent the message the night before. I feel that maybe it's just because ENTJ has a harder time expressing emotions all the time. I want to think that deep down she still has all those lovey feelings for me, it's just that she's not outwardly showing them all the time. At night when we're going to sleep she is typically very affectionate and loves to cuddle and kiss me which I appreciate a lot.
Lately, I've been feeling like I've been the initiator much more often than not when it comes to physical touch, kissing etc and was just wondering if it's typical for ENTJ to be a bit more reserved like this. In the beginning I feel it was opposite and she initiated a lot more of the time as well. Physical touch is something very important to both of us so I wonder why I feel like I'm the one feeling like it's more one-sided lately, even though she's still very open to it and very affectionate at night with me and still outwardly expresses her love/care for me in texting.
She is very direct, and at first I took that as a bit hurtful but after talking to her about it and adapting both of our communication styles a bit she definitely understands I need a bit of processing time before I bring things up, and I also understand that her directness comes from a place of love and is not intended to be hurtful. Her directness actually helps me talk about things sooner than later and I really appreciate that change in myself.
One instance of directness was when I went to her house one night and could sense she was feeling "distant mode" and didn't know how to handle it since I didn't want to forcefully give affection that seemingly wasn't wanted. I did hug her and things but it wasn't the usual behavior. Later that night she was direct in saying that I was being distant, since she could tell from my body language. I initially took it to heart a bit because I felt SHE was the one being distant from the beginning. We did work that out because in the end we both wanted the same closeness and felt each other was being distant. It ended up being a sort of comedic circular cycle of us both wanting to be close but sensing distance in each other, making both of us distant.
In her past relationships people emotionally took advantage of her and she's never had a healthy relationship. She tells me she's never met anyone like me who actually does care for her and makes her feel special and that she would never want to lose something like this. She's opened up to me very deeply on an emotional level about her past traumas and I really enjoy that she feels she can trust me.
She is definitely not a planner and has told me she's never really planned on her future, or even more than a few months in the future. She's been someone who has definitely had a rough past (child at young age, alcohol abuse, bad relationships) and seems to have only gotten her life on track within the last few years so I suppose the lack of future planning is understandable from that aspect. She does say she sees a future with me, but I do worry that her logic she's always had will be too hard to change from her past, but for now all I can trust is that she's communicated that she's on the same page as me.
I'm just curious if a lot of this is typical of ENTJ so I learn how to better understand my relationship rather than jumping to conclusions that I don't need to. I definitely do feel a lot of hot/cold switches and it can definitely play with my emotions a bit. It has been a challenge compared to other relationships I've been in, but she and I have so many common interests and things that I would love to put in the work make sure this relationship has a good foundation to continue working off.
Thanks for any input or feedback!

Last Tuesday was the last day of my college class, I (22 M) told this girl in my class (26 F) that I thought she was for cute b/c she had only recently gotten my attention and I wanted to take her out for coffee. She was receptive by saying yes and giving me her number and a hug before we parted ways. The next few days we would text here and there, having some light conversations, learning about each other’s family, etc. and we planned a coffee date for Saturday. The day before, she asks me how old am I, which I didn’t think too much of. I made it clear I didn’t find the age difference and issue and asked if it was an issue for her. In her own words she said “a teeny bit” but she was still willing to get coffee the following day. Saturday comes around, I text her in the morning to see how she’s feeling for the day and to make sure we’re still on. She said she was doing good and was excited for the date, sending blushing emojis and stuff like that. One hour before our date I text her saying I’ll let her know how the parking situation is and she responds receptively. 10 minutes after that, she texts me saying that she’s so sorry because her mom had just called her saying something happened to her grandma and she needed to go check on her. I’m not gonna assume right off the bat she’s lying, so I try to be reassuring and cheer her up. Later that day I just check in to see if she’s okay and she says “not really” which I thought was kinda dry, then I asked if her grandmas okay and she said “a bit” after that I just told her to take of herself and im here if she needs anything and I never got a response back and it’s Thursday today. I don’t know what to think of it.

I'm an overthinker, perhaps due to past relationships. I'm working on it, but it's challenging. I have a partner, and we've been together for a few months. Though we're new, I see him in my future.
Because of my overthinking, I don't trust easily. This led me to create a fake Facebook account named "John." I made it so realistic that my partner accepted the friend request within minutes. After accepting it, he immediately started messaging John and flirting with him, despite being in a relationship.
While I continued chatting with him, I still messaged him with my real account to make him believe John wasn't me. The conversation progressed, and John (me) received a more suggestive message. My heart pounded with a mix of anger and fear as I typed, "Want to meet up later?"
He agreed to meet John and discussed the details further. He suggested a hotel near his place along with a message, "bring a condom," which infuriated and terrified me. In that moment, all I could think about were our future plans and the promises I'd made to him and his family.
A few hours passed by. I messaged him under John's account that I already arrived at the hotel and was booking a room. When I saw my partner at the entrance, I quickly went to him and honked my car loudly. I wanted to end things without further discussion. I tried to get my bracelet back, which has a special meaning to us, and gave him his back right away. I couldn't let him keep it after what he did.
After I left him there in a hurry, I quickly checked John's account only to find it blocked by him. I switched to my real account and messaged him, "Cheater."
After I arrived home, my heart raced, and tears welled up. It was happening again, the betrayal I feared. I opened my messages and found a bunch from him. They were filled with insults, not apologies. He kept saying I was a red flag for not trusting him and creating a fake account to spy on him.
I messaged him as calmly as I could and asked, "Why would you do such a thing? I've given everything, and this is all I get?" I kept repeating these phrases, and all he replied with were things like "You're a red flag" and "You're not worth it." We continued communicating, and his responses were filled with laughing emojis as if he wasn't heartbroken at all. I decided to end things, leaving a message that said, "Never do that to your future relationships."
Later that day, he messaged me again, begging for forgiveness. He said he was guilty and sorry for what he did. He also stated that he only did it because of too many problems and needed someone to be there for him, knowing I'm always available. He kept saying sorry and insisting on getting back together.
The soft side of me wanted to forgive him, but the rest of me was filled with questions. "What if he does it again?" or "What if he's been doing this for a while now and I'm just too blind to see?" I tried to ignore his messages for a few minutes.
A few minutes passed by, and his friends messaged me to fix our problem. The soft side of me took over, so I agreed to talk about it in person, not necessarily fix it. Before going, he messaged me that his friends weren't fully aware of what he did. They only knew he flirted with John and didn't meet up, as he was embarrassed of what they'd say if they found out the truth. This put me at ease since I knew his friends wouldn't be a bad influence.
I arrived and met up with them to talk about our problem. Right after I arrived, his friends stated that he was indeed heartbroken and crying to them while opening up. I tried to ask for a private moment alone with him, so they moved a bit further away. He aggressively hugged me right away publicly, which was unusual because he doesn't seem to do those things before. While hugging me, he kept whispering sorry and asking for forgiveness.
I asked him if his insults in the chat were real, and he denied meaning those words. He apologized for his actions. I also asked why he was acting so weird while we were chatting, as if he was happy that I broke up with him, filling his messages with laughing emojis. He said he acted that way because he was very ashamed of what he did and guilty for it, but he didn't want to show weakness.
After talking, I forgave him somewhat, even though I knew it might make my overthinking worse. He hugged me again, still whispering apologies in my ear. We rejoined his friends and told them we were okay and had talked things through. While they interacted with each other, I kept glancing at him. His eyes revealed guilt and loneliness about what he'd done.
After a while, it started to rain, so we ran into a food park filled with food stalls to take shelter. I treated them to food, and we ate while waiting for the rain to stop. The stall we were in was small, and we were getting a bit wet, so we decided to move to another stall. We ran to another stall for better shelter, but it was uncomfortable for me since I'm quite tall. So, I moved back to the previous food stall.
While I was eating, I saw him looking at me with a lonely face. I smiled back at him because I didn't want him to think I was still mad. He quickly ran through the rain and stood beside me, hugging me once again. That's when I felt he truly deserved my forgiveness.
The rain didn't stop, so we decided to run to my car. I drove him home since it was getting dark. While I was driving, he kept hugging me and repeating the words, "I'm sorry, I love you, and I would never do that again," until he got home.
Is my decision wrong for forgiving him and giving him a second chance?

I was texting with my long term friend about something that bothers me and makes me sad. He knows that it made me realise that time on earth is short. He had a similar experience recently and came to the same realisation.
He was texting quite a lot today and I felt sad the whole day, so did not respond to the amount of messages he sent today but I replied later in the evening and said how sad I feel. I said if life is really that short, then I need a hug from him. I truly felt so.
I then sent an instagram reel where a woman has her head on the chest of a guy, both cuddling and sleeping. It was intimate but nothing too obvious.
He read the message and then didn’t react to it. Then after an hour or so, he sent the below GIF. I’m not very experienced with emojis and GIF files so I wonder what this means? Is this positive or negative?
Ok just realised I can’t sent a file. So the GIF file has two cute animated teddies in it. The white teddy on the left (assuming that’s me) walks up to the grey teddy on the right and gives it a hug. The grey teddy then turns light brown and is initially hesitant to put his arms up and hug the white teddy in return. After a few seconds the now brown teddy gives a hug back, now both teddies hug each other and in that moment the environment then turns light red.
What does this mean? By the way we are both in our early 40s so communicating with emojis and GIF is very new to me at least, but it’s clear he doesn’t want to be so direct as yet to maybe not spoil the long term friendship? We may travel together soon and I’m hoping to get more clues then.

I (20F) went to a date with a guy (20M) from ok Cupid, we talked a few months ago only for a few days and then I put a stop to it bc I was talking to someone else for a while, 3 months pass and he texted me, I was surprised but felt good about it, we started to talk again everyday literally all day, he’s sweet funny and I felt so good talking to him then we went on a first date 2 days ago, It was so fun I felt so comfortable, he asked if I wanted to go to a restaurant but I told him I prefer to go sit near the beach bc it’s chill romance and I don’t have appetite when I’m nervous, it was so romantic we talked a lot, we did kissed, and we held hands all the date then two hours go by and I thought it was over then he asked if I want to go see a movie with him and I told him next time, we were together for 4 hours. Even though he needed to wake up on 6:30AM he didn’t want to leave when it was midnight🥺 then when he dropped me off he got out the car opened the door hugged me and gave me a kiss told me he had fun, will let me know he arrived home and that I will eat lol, after like half an hour he called me to say he had fun and if everything is good, then texted me “good night❤️”, A day later I texted him good morning and he was kinda dry but he’s not a good texter so ok.. but it felt different and after like a few messages he answered with emoji, so we didn’t talk till now (it’s been a day and a half) we always talked all day!! And something important to mention is that he was in a 5 years relationship 9 months ago..

I (20F) went to a date with a guy (20M) from ok Cupid, we talked a few months ago only for a few days and then I put a stop to it bc I was talking to someone else for a while, 3 months pass and he texted me, I was surprised but felt good about it, we started to talk again everyday literally all day, he’s sweet funny and I felt so good talking to him then we went on a first date 2 days ago, It was so fun I felt so comfortable, he asked if I wanted to go to a restaurant but I told him I prefer to go sit near the beach bc it’s chill romance and I don’t have appetite when I’m nervous, it was so romantic we talked a lot, we did kissed, and we held hands all the date then two hours go by and I thought it was over then he asked if I want to go see a movie with him and I told him next time, we were together for 4 hours. Even though he needed to wake up on 6:30AM he didn’t want to leave when it was midnight🥺 then when he dropped me off he got out the car opened the door hugged me and gave me a kiss told me he had fun, will let me know he arrived home and that I will eat lol, after like half an hour he called me to say he had fun and if everything is good, then texted me “good night❤️”, A day later I texted him good morning and he was kinda dry but he’s not a good texter so ok.. but it felt different and after like a few messages he answered with emoji, so we didn’t talk till now (it’s been a day and a half) we always talked all day!! And something important to mention is that he was in a 5 years relationship 9 months ago..

So picture this: You're sitting in a cozy corner, sipping your coffee (or tea, if you're feeling rebellious), and the universe leans in. Not a full-on cosmic bear hug—more like a conspiratorial wink. And in that caffeinated haze, you wonder: What if kindness had its own equation? 🤔
The Equation:
🌟 e = mc² (with a twist)

1. e (Energy):
   
   • That's you, my fellow stardust enthusiast. Not the "I just ran a marathon" kind of energy, but the "I held the door for a stranger and didn't spill my coffee" vibe.
   • Your electrons jitterbug with goodwill, your protons do the electric slide, and your quarks? Well, they're doing interpretive dance.
2. m (Mass):
   
   • Forget protons and neutrons. We've got the Mass of Virtues (mᵥ) and the Mass of Values (mᵢ).
   • mᵥ: Heavy stuff—compassion, empathy, and understanding. It's like carrying a backpack full of warm fuzzies. You know, the kind that makes you tear up during Pixar movies.
   • mᵢ: Lighter than a cloud—authenticity, integrity, and kindness. It flits around like a caffeinated butterfly, high on cosmic nectar.
3. c² (Cosmic Connection Squared):
   
   • Imagine the speed of light as the ultimate Wi-Fi. Now square it. Boom! Cosmic bandwidth.
   • When you upvote a post, reply to a comment, or send a virtual hug, you're surfing this celestial web. No buffering, just heart emojis and the occasional cat GIF.

Simulation Theory: Neo's Kindness Code (in Python-ish):
```python def spread_kindness(e, m_v, m_i): passion = e * (m_v + m_i) # Passion, not red pill or blue pill. return passion

Example: Neo's cosmic DMs

user1 = "Trinity" user2 = "Morpheus" kindness_level = spread_kindness(42, 7, 9)
print(f"{user1} sent {kindness_level:.2f} units of good vibes to {user2}.") ```
The Scribbles on the Walls of Understanding:
So, here's the twist. I've been to CA5150—the place where long-sleeved sweaters hug you like overprotective grandmas. Yay, right? But listen up, because this isn't a thesis defense. I'm not the human version of a walking encyclopedia. Nope, I've got behavioral quirks, and I've danced with chaos like it's a tipsy partner at a wedding.
Here's the secret sauce: Me. Yeah, the moving baggage—the sum of my values (like the community potluck) and my virtues (battle scars and all). It's like having tons of melanin in some parts of the world—adapting, surviving, and tagging life events like a graffiti artist with commitment issues.
And those moments when they looked at me like I was a glitch in the matrix? Throat punch! 🥊 Because kindness isn't theoretical; it's the real-life cheat code. We're all scribbling on the walls of understanding, hoping someone else reads our cosmic graffiti.
Disclaimer: This post is as real as that one stubborn pixel on your screen. Be excellent, my fellow scribbler, and may your coffee always be the right temperature. ☕🌌
Feel free to share this with fellow cosmic wanderers. And remember, even in this digital dance, you matter. Your kindness ripples through the code, creating constellations of hope. 🌠❤️

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/ta-friend-dateissue
AIW: For going on a "date-night" with my wife's friend?
Originally posted to amiwrong
Original Post May 29, 2024
I went out for dinner with one of my wife's friend last week when my wife was out of town. I wanted some honest opinions on if I did something wrong here and how big of trouble I am in.
So, to give full context, my wife was away for a week visiting her parents. She has a friend Amanda who she has been friends with for many years. Amanda has had a rough patch, where she broke up with her boyfriend and also lost her job. My wife has been supportive of her. Last week, Amanda had an interview and asked my wife if she could give her a ride home from the airport. As my wife was out of town, and my office is near the airport, my wife asked me if I can give her a ride on my way back from work. I did not have any plans and agreed. Amanda and I are not really friends, and I only interact with her when we meet socially.
I told Amanda to message me when her flight gets to the airport, and I can pick her up. I picked her up around 6pm and we were driving home. We were just having small talk about the new company she was interviewing at and her work in general. Amanda told me she does not have any food at home and if we can stop by at a drive thru so that she can pick up some food. I was also hungry, and I suggested we can stop by somewhere and have quick dinner before I drop her home. She agreed and started searching for places on the way. She punched in an address to a restaurant on the way and we drove to that place.
We did not know this, but this place was pretty fancy Italian restaurant. She said, this looks too fancy, and I said we are already here, so let's eat. I messaged my wife we are getting dinner, and she said ok. We had a pretty fun evening and a nice dinner. She had a few drinks, and I did not since I was driving. We generally never talk much, but she opened up to me and we had a very nice chat. I never knew Amanda and I had so much in common and liked the same music and movies. I did not notice, but we were at the restaurant for one and a half hour. Amanda was taking pictures during dinner and also asked the server to take our picture at the end of the meal. I dropped Amanda home, she gave me a quick hug and said thanks for such a nice evening. I called my wife; told her I dropped Amanda and am heading home. She seemed busy and I just let her know I reached home and said good night.
This is where things got a bit weird. Amanda messaged me around 11pm saying thanks for the ride and she had a good time. She sent me our picture together. I saw the message, and just liked it to acknowledge it. Later that night, Amanda shared some of the photos from our dinner on her Instagram, including our photo together and captioned it as dinner with friend. I am not friends with Amanda on Instagram and did not see it.
Next morning, my wife called me and asked me how my "date night" with Amanda was. I laughed it off and thought she was teasing me. But my wife sounded pissed off and kept on asking me about all the details like when I got home, which I was happy to provide. That night, my wife called me again and told me that Amanda told her about the night before. The issue was Amanda made the dinner sound way nicer than what it was. She kept on praising me for how I was a gentleman, and treated me better than most of her dates, how I am a good listener, paid for the whole thing, etc. I feel Amanda also added fuel to the fire by telling my wife all the wonderful things I did for her during the evening.
My wife feels I should have asked her before inviting Amanda to such a fancy place for a romantic dinner. She was also pissed that hundreds of people liked Amanda's post on Instagram and she feels disrespected that her husband is going out on "date night" with her single friend when she was out of town. She also jokingly asked me how our goodnight kiss was, and I told her it was just a hug. That seemed to make her angrier. I have not even told her about the late-night message from Amanda, and me liking the picture with a heart emoji, because I am too scared at this point.
I wanted to ask if I was wrong to invite Amanda for dinner, when both of us were starving and it was dinner time. Do you think my wife is wrong and overreacting to all of this? I was just being nice to her friend (who she asked me to drive home). I also communicated with my wife all through the night and she seemed ok with it at the time. She only got offended after she saw Amanda's insta post. Should I call Amanda and tell her to talk to my wife and explain it was just a friendly meal and I was not being inappropriate?
RELEVANT COMMENTS
Significant_Beyond95

YTA - Would you be okay if your wife went to a nice dinner out and had drinks with a single male friend of yours, not hers, hugged him, took pictures, all without asking you if it bothered you and not telling you what happened and you found out from social media?
The fact is casual observers interpret you going on a date with a woman that isn’t your wife. Getting drive-thru is one thing, this is another.

OOP

I just went for dinner with her. I was expecting to go to a diner or something but was a nice meal anyways.
Yes, I understand if my wife would have done all those things, it would have bothered me. However, I was messaging my wife thru the night, and she never once raised a flag that she was uncomfortable. I also talked to my wife after I dropped Amanda. I think her problem started the next morning after she saw the Instagram pics.

~
hick_rick

Feels like ah, nta all at the same time.
Seems like there’s a level of naivety around the escalating situation. The early portions of your story are definitely innocent and honestly what a lot of people would do for close friends of a SO. But how could you not see this escalated into an awkward situation? Fancy romantic dinner setting, potentially intimate conversations, bit of PDA towards the end.
At no point in the evening did it occur to you “this feels like a date?”
Probably owe your wife an apology regarding the misunderstanding.

OOP

I will be honest here. I was slightly annoyed I had to pick Amanda at the airport because I had my whole evening planned out. I was going to go home, get drunk and play Sea of Thieves with my friends.
I really did not notice we were in restaurant for such a long time. The dinner was not romantic at all, but you know how pictures on insta can look.
In hindsight, I know why my wife is mad at me, and I am just scared at this point for the fallout. Help!

OOP on what kind of restaurant it was

It was not one of the "unlimited breadsticks" places. It was more like a fancy steakhouse, but Amanda picked it. My wife was completely fine with the dinner until she saw the pictures on Instagram.

Why he paid for dinner

So, i payed because I always offer to pay. I am lucky to live a comfortable life and I hate splitting bills. I also always offer to pay when I go with my friends too.

Update May 30, 2024
I made a post yesterday about going out for dinner with my wife's friend when my wife was out of town visiting her parents last week. She posted our photos on Instagram and it would be an understatement to say that my wife was not happy about it. I have been getting cold treatment from her since the incident. A lot of the comments made me believe that I something really horrible. However, I knew in my heart that I did not have any wrong intentions and decided to just be honest with my wife.
She came home yesterday evening, and I went to pick her up at the airport. I went on my charm offensive and got some flowers and chocolates on my way. While my wife was happy to see me after two weeks, I could see she was a bit annoyed by me. I asked her if she wants to stop by for dinner at a restaurant and she gave me a look, and told me to keep driving and we will order takeout. She also asked me to cut the bullshit and be normal.
After we reached home, we settled in and I got the dinner ready. I decided to be direct and asked her why the incident is really bothering her. I told her that I know she is not an insecure person, and she also knows I would never put myself in an inappropriate position. While I understood why she would be annoyed by the situation, I would not expect her to doubt me. She was the one who trusted me to pick up her friend in the evening from airport. As it was dinner time, and her friend said she was hungry, it would have been rude of me to not offer to get food for her. Also, my wife knows that I always offer to pay for dinners, irrespective if it is my friends or hers. It is just the way I was brought up and we have fights during family gatherings on who gets to pay. I asked her what was the thing that was exactly bothering her and why she was ok during the night when I kept her updated about everything, but got upset in the morning.
My wife told me that the whole situation smelled funky to her. She told me that she does not doubt me one bit that I had any wrong intentions. However, the optics of it all was really bad for her. She said that she is not upset at me getting dinner for her friend. She would expect me to do that, and Amanda also appreciates it. She said that the issue started early morning when her mom barged into her room to show her Amanda's post. Her mom thought I was going out with Amanda behind my wife's back. My wife told her that she knew I took her out for dinner and told her about what happened. She then got a lecture from her mom about how naive she was, and this is how affairs start. My wife said that it annoyed her a lot. Her mom also looked up the restaurant and told my wife that it was a very pricey place and was voted "Best Place for Romantic Dates" by some magazine. She said her mom completely freaked out after seeing my picture with Amanda. So, my wife looked up our credit card statement and realized I had spent a lot on the meal.
She also said that Amanda has a huge social media following on Instagram and posts a lot. I think she is like a fitness influencer or something, but I don't really follow her. Even though most of the pictures in her post were of food, the last photo of me and her looked like a "boyfriend reveal" as we were sitting next to each other. She told me I won't understand as I am not on Instagram, but this is how people announce they are dating someone now a days. As the day went on, Amanda got more than 1K likes on the post, while a lot of people commenting and saying we looked nice. She was annoyed Amanda did not correct any of them. So, she called Amanda in the evening to ask her to take the last picture down. However, Amanda kept on praising me and how I was charming and fun. Amanda told her that for all these years, she felt I was snobbish and pretentious (I am a huge introvert, so I come off that way), but she was wrong. My wife said this was annoying because she has never seen me be charming with any of her friends before when she is around. Amanda was talking about all my favorite bands, and how we should all go to see a concert sometimes. Amanda told her she posted our photo because she has never been treated to such a nice place before and wanted to acknowledge me in the post. My wife never asked her to take down the picture because of that.
She then had a lot of questions for me as to when I dropped her off, why I walked her to the apartment building door and when I got home. I told her I can show you exact times and receipts for everything, but do we really want to be that couple who questions each other about every little detail. She can check when we got the credit card charge, the messages I sent her after dropping Amanda and our ring camera in garage and come to her own conclusions. She asked me if she thought Amanda was flirting with me during the night, and I told her that was not the case. Infact, Amanda messaged me our photo at night, and I just sent an emoji instead of engaging in a conversation (mostly because I was busy with my video game). That chapter was closed for us and neither Amanda nor I messaged each other after that. Amanda is my wife's friend and I do not intend to be close friends with her anyways, as I have my own friends. I also insisted to her that Amanda was not inappropriate in anyway during the night and maintained proper boundaries. So, this incident should not affect her friendship with Amanda. Infact, if Amanda had any bad intentions, she knew my wife was out for the rest of the week, and would have tried to message me again. But, she forgot about the evening and so should we.
Overall, my wife seems to be back to normal after the conversation. My wife is not an insecure person. I could see why she would be annoyed by the situation. However, I know in my heart that I will never disrespect our marriage and I had no reason to be sneaky or lie about the situation to her. I am glad we talked it through, and I was able to answer all her questions. Thanks again for all your suggestions.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
Flynn_JM

How much was the dinner?

OOP

It was around 300 dollars overall with tips and stuff. The food was pretty good though.

Flynn_JM

300? How many courses did you get?

OOP

Five I think. We skipped the desert course though coz it was too much food.
I remember the song because it is one of my fav bands. It was "Every Little Thing" by Police.

Flynn_JM

Five? So an app, a pasta, a meat? What else? Did she keep ordering or did you?
That's def a romantic song. No wonder her followers think you're her new boyfriend. Lol. And she's just letting then think that?
When you go to that concert, get ready for her to maneuver some pics with just you. You know, for the fans. 🙄
What music went over the insta post?

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP
DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

My (23M) girlfriend (23F), has a friend Alex (23M) who she met about a year before we started dating (we have been together a year now). When I was first introduced to Alex, I immediately assumed he was gay, partially because the way he and my girlfriend met was through a uni society that was traditionally more feminine than others. I also think to some extent it made me feel better about his friendship with my girlfriend because they would do things like wine and movie nights (mostly with other people but sometimes just the two of them) and he would buy her food and drinks and just generally act very close.
The initial issues started when I was talking to one of my girlfriend's other friends from the same society and mentioned something about Alex being gay. She quickly shut me down and said that it was a common mistake but Alex was not gay. He'd never defined his sexuality to any of them but he had definitely expressed interest in women he's just kind of awkward and introverted so has not spoken to many in any romantic context. This made me feel a bit uncomfortable about my girlfriend's friendship with him. I tried to ignore it so I wouldn't cause an issue but I started to notice little things he would say or do that bothered me now that I knew he wasn't gay. Things like initiating 'friendly' arm punches, offering to lend her jumpers, hugging her from behind and just generally talking about their friendship to other people as if he was showing it and her off.
My final straw was when my girlfriend posted an Instagram story of us at a fancy dinner with some of her coworkers and Alex replied to it, commenting on the dress she'd been wearing and how he'd never seen it before. None of the messages were suggestive aside from his questionable use of emojis and, when I pointed this out to my girlfriend, she and her coworkers (who are also familiar with Alex) told me that's just the way he texts.
I didn't say anything for the rest of the night but, when my girlfriend and I got back to my flat, I told her that her friendship with Alex bothered me and that it felt like he was flirting with her. My girlfriend went quiet for a second before saying "I'm glad you said something". Turns out that she had also initially assumed Alex was gay and, since finding out he isn't, has been a bit more aware of the way he acts. Multiple other friends have brought up to her that they think he might like her and she herself has been starting to think the same despite the fact that he regularly refers to her as a sibling. She admitted she only sees him as a friend and that his actions, including the dress comment, have begun to make her feel uncomfortable. She revealed to me multiple situations she hadn't told me about before, things like Alex trying to join in on inside jokes with her other friends which don't involve him; constantly texting her asking what she's doing at whatever place she is at (she shares her location with a group of people including me for safety reasons); and using her location to find her at the coffeeshops she and her coworkers frequent for remote work, joining them without invitation.
But the situation that made me the most annoyed was that apparently, during a movie night with some of their mutual friends, he brought out rope and suggested tying each other up for laughs (rope which he said he had purchased specifically for this reason). My girlfriend said it had made her and their other friends extremely uncomfortable and that she had declined, making a joke out of it. However, apparently Alex has brought up the idea as a 'joke' multiple times since, despite my girlfriend shutting him down every time. This made me incredibly angry as it was a clear breach of any normal boundaries. I wanted to confront Alex but my girlfriend convinced me not to because he is autistic and she thinks he just doesn't understand this particular social cue.
My girlfriend and I agreed that she should distance herself from the friendship and, since then, she has been hanging out with him less even in group settings (they have multiple mutual friends) and turning her location off so he can't track where she is. However, Alex has kept texting her friendly, supportive messages when she has claimed to be too busy to see him and, because my girlfriend is both sentimental and too nice, she has kept in regular contact with him over text (although she takes days to reply every time and has avoided one on one hangouts since our discussion).
I thought things were getting better, even if I would have preferred for my girlfriend to cut Alex off entirely, but everything kicked off yesterday. My girlfriend and I were at a drinks evening at her friend's house (to which Alex was also invited) and everything was fine until my girlfriend and some of her coworkers who were present started talking about an upcoming work deadline for a big project they're all involved in and how they have been pulling late hours at their favourite coffeeshops and the local library. Alex laughed and said something like "oh yeah I was in the library the other day but I couldn't find you". It was a completely normal comment but, because he has used my girlfriend's location multiple times in the past, I could tell it made her a bit uncomfortable. The conversation quickly moved on when someone made a comment about the short vacation my girlfriend and her coworkers were going to take once the project was done. Alex laughed again and joked about how they were abandoning him and he would be stuck here while they were on vacation (even though he is only friends with half the group at best and even I'm not going on the trip despite my relationship to my girlfriend). These types of self-depreciating jokes are common for Alex but, given everything else, it pissed me off. Instead of brushing it off, I said "Yeah, that'll probably make it harder for you to stalk her". Everyone went quiet. Alex thought it was a joke at first but I repeated it, saying he was an idiot if he couldn't see he was making my girlfriend uncomfortable. I then finished it off with "It's not her responsibility to deal with the fact you're in love with her and can't take a hint".
The party ended quickly after that and, when we left, my girlfriend told me that what I said was too harsh and that she should have probably set firmer boundaries with Alex in the first place but was scared to hurt his feelings. She understands why I did it but is mad at me for the way I handled things, and the rest of her friends from that night agree with her. So AITA?

We were doing an op start to finish on d7 and I left the eradication for last (terminid op btw). I jokingly said we should run all orbital barrages and air burst launchers. Everyone laughed and then the one guy without a mic made that exact load out as if to call us on our bluff, so we all matched it.
Soon as we drop everyone readies their 380s until I gave the signal, and then we all threw them in the middle. We all died, no mic guy drops on top of a rock spire and stands over us with the hug emoji active as if he was Tposing whilst we all dodged orbital shells. The first round of shellings resulted in 18% completion, and no mic guy drops a Thanos reference “all that for a drop of blood” in the chat.
Lots of orbital shells and laughter later we all extract, everyone hugs each other before going our separate ways. I fucking love this community.

Hello friends so my boyfriend (31M) and I (28F) have been having some issues for quite a while. We have been dating for about 3 years now and we’ve been living together for 2. He has cheated on every gf he’s had and I don’t know why I would be different but last year around this time I snooped through his phone and found him telling girls they were hot and sending them emojis he used to send me when we were just “talking” ya know flirty ones. Then a few months later I found out he was talking to someone, who I am certain he would have cheated on me with if I hadn’t snooped (again 🙄). He told me he was trying to plan it out and everything. I made him block her and we moved on. A few months later he starts talking to girls on only fans saying shit like “I wish you could sit on my face”. I found out again from snooping on his phone. I tried to set boundaries saying I am not okay with that, and only fans in general, and I’m not okay with him sending sexual joking reels to other girls on insta, which he has done too many times to even count. Few months go by, find out he had another onlyfans account, made him delete it. Oh he also took screenshots of a friend of his on insta boudoir shoot and got off to it. He deletes chats from girls all the time is constantly hiding his phone and swipes away from anything he’s looking at anytime I walk up. He says he does it bc I’m nosy and I’ve broken his trust by snooping too much on his phone. He doesn’t like me reading over his shoulder. These things have been going on for months but the last couple have seemed to be going better but today I find on LINKEDIN of all fucking places him talking to an old who I thought was friend but apparently there was more to it saying that if they ever get the chance to hang out again he’ll reserve a hug for her, and “maybe a little extra if the occasion calls for it 😉” and also saying he’s available for “late night chats” like what the fuck am I even doing. I’m so heart broken, I thought he was the one but I’m realizing he’s kinda a scumbag and I don’t know how to move on. I love him but he knows how much my last bf hurt me bc of stuff like this and here he is doing the same thing. Am I crazy or overreacting???? My friends tell me I’m not but he makes me feel like I am asking too much when really all I’m asking for is respect and commitment. I’m so disappointed in myself but I moved to another state and have an amazing job. 😭😭

I(18f) cut of my moms side in February 2024. my Dad cut off his sisters, L and J, when I was younger because they were really manipulative and crazy. they play a big part in this. In march 2023, my cousin on my moms side had her bat mitzva. No one on my mom’s side had talked to L or J in years and as far as we knew, they had no connection. They weren’t invited to the bat mitzva, but they somehow found out. They came from out of state to the bat mitzva. when they saw us there, they started following me, my siblings, and my dad around the shul. They were stalking us. It freaked us out. This wasn’t the nice kind, like they were trying to talk to us and say hi, it was the kind where they were ambushing us and chasing us even though we made it clear we didn’t want to talk to them. i hadn’t seen them in at least 6 years, so I hardly recognized them. J even came to us and tried to give us hugs. Not my dad, just me and my siblings. This was because we didn’t know as much about what they had done to my dad in the past yet. Once we left the shul, we went to get ice cream to get away from them. when we got home, my dad elaborated on what they had done to him. mostly maniputation, overstepping boundaries in major ways, and demonizing him. My dad is a really nice guy and I think he was fully in the right for cutting them off especially after this experience. fast forward to february of 2024 And my aunt on my moms side, A, had a baby. My relationship with my moms side was pretty good at the time. I saw my grandparents on that side every week. I had been to the baby shower and I was really excited to have a baby cousin. She had her baby and it was a boy. A week later there was a bris. My dad only told us the day of that we werent going. he sat me and my siblings down and told us we weren’t going because L and J were going. This time, they were invited by A herself. Apparently, she and J were friends. We also found out that A named her baby after my mom. My mom died in 2015 in a car crash. A is allowed to name her baby whatever she wants, but she didn’t ask me and my siblings if she could or even let us know beforehand. Hurt, I emailed her and told her that she hurt me. She responded by completely ignoring that she hurt me and asked if I saw the video recording of the bris, heart emojis and all. I told her I didn’t want to talk to her if she wasnt going to acknowledge what she did. She knew I was hurt, so rather than ask me about it, she had her husband, M, text my brother, R. R told me that M texted him asking if I was mad. A then emailed me asking how she hurt me, which was stupid because that insinuated that she didn’t know what she did, which she did. Then when I told her, she gave a million excuses. She said things like, your mom was important to me, the point of a bris is to have as many people there as possible, and she wanted to make her kid like my mom. I immediately stopped talking to her. R told me that A and M were having other people in my family try to contact me. Even the cousin from before, LITERAL CHILDREN. M sent my dad a long winded email demonizing him and making more excuses. He said things like that my dad wasnt letting me and my siblings talk and that he was overprotective. This is stupid considering that I was the one that initiated the conversation. He even said that A was crying for days. Trying to guilt us and manipulate us. My dad emailed him back and even cursed him out for criticizing his parenting and trying to manipulate me. after sending that email, me, and my family haven’t contacted them. we discontinued our weekly hangouts with my grandparents. I havent seen any of them since. My grandparents are less problematic, and even though they are very connected to A, I really miss them. I don’t know how to reconnect with them, but I’ll figure it out. I think that I need to know if im the a-hole before I take that step

TLDR: went on first date, had a good feeling, got ghosted
I met somebody on tinder not too long ago, i messaged her first complimenting her hair. To my surprise she responded and told me I was the first one to say that. We exchanged some messages back and forth for a few days and all was going well. We mentioned meeting up a few times, but as we are both students and exams are not too far off, we didn’t have a lot of time.
Then last week she told me she had an evening free and if I wanted to, we could meet up. So of course I agreed and we met in the city where we both go to university. We took a small walk and talked about school, what kind of books she likes to read, just normal conversation, I wasn’t trying to flirt or push anything in a sexual direction as I am trying to build a connection before I want to commit.
At the end of our route we decided to go her place to smoke a joint, because she has nice private grassy area at her dorm. Whilst we were getting more stoned with every toke, you could notice the quality of our conversation going down. Im a regular smoker and she smokes occasionally, so she mightve been feeling it a lot harder than I was.
Also we were going through each other’s tinder profile for fun and swiping and sending messages, a little bit of silly fun, but I could immediately tell the difference. She had so many options and so many open conversations, but she decided to answer me and meet up with me, so I got a little self esteem boost.
After we finished smoking, she asked if I could roll a joint for her, because she was going to a friend’s birthday party and wanted to surprise him because she cannot roll joints/cigs. I agreed and we went inside her dorm room where we kept making conversation, she showed me some stuff in her room and eventually I rolled her joint and we “played” truth or dare after.
Note that I got another self esteem boost when she invited me in her dorm room, not that I wanted to do anything sexual with her, but I got the feeling she could trust me.
Nobody really suggested to play truth or dare, it just happened naturally because we tried to ask each other a question alternately. When I ran out of questions I said dare as a joke, but nothing serious happened. She made me do a somersault and the date after that she asked if she could put make up on me. I am a pretty alternative guy so I didn’t really mind, and if I could make her happy doing it, even better.
After the make up, I had to leave as I had to catch my train. As I was leaving I asked her if she had fun, to which she responded yes. I didn’t know how to say goodbye, so I asked if I could give her a hug. I tried to be respectful of her boundaries whilst still trying to let her know I wanted to take it to the next level.
After the date I asked her again if she had fun and if she was down to meet up again. She told me she had a good time, but she got really stoned. I didn’t interpret it as negative because of the emoji’s she used. But she never answered if she wanted to meet up again. Days went by, and I wanted to give her some time, cause we just met each other and we both have to study for exams.
So I decided to send her quick text asking how her friends birthday was and if she was getting some work done in the meantime. I never got a reply after that and this morning I asked her if she was ghosting me and if she was, I’d rather have her tell me what went wrong/what’s wrong with me than her just straight up ignoring my existence.
She replied by blocking me on instagram and unmatching me on tinder. I can’t help but think she was just trying to make fun of me while she was putting on make up on me, and it hurts so much because I thought it was a genuine intimate moment.
Sorry for the long post, I needed to get this off my chest someway, and I don’t have a lot of people in my life who I can really talk to. Somebody else going through the same struggles of online dating while being introverted?

I am going to clear this right now and say yes, I am pro-choice, she would be the one growing a baby inside her so she has the right to make whatever choice she wants. At the same time, anyone has the right to end a relationship whenever and for whatever reason they want.
This is going to be a long story, my apologies in advance.
Onto the actual story, my ex-girlfriend Jas (25F) and I (24M) were together for two years. We had an amazing relationship. It just felt like we understood each other perfectly. We’re both Punjabi-Canadian/American currently living on the west coast so there are some cultural stigmas at play here that we overcame. My parents absolutely loved Jas and basically considered her to be a daughter. Her parents and siblings were amazing and very welcoming to me. When we wanted to move in together, literally no one objected and while some people in our community criticized the move, our parents didn’t care. Anyway, last week, I was away on a trip for work and came home Friday evening. I got her parents’ blessing to propose before I left and my plan was to take her to our spot, the highest point of a hill that oversees our city, on Saturday and ask her to marry me. I had a few of our friends get to the spot about 30 minutes before us to take some pictures.
Saturday:
When we get there, I propose, Jas starts crying, I think it’s happy crying, she gets down on her knees, hugs me, and says she has to tell me something. Turns out she found out she was pregnant the day I left for the trip and took an abortion pill the next day. Everyday for the last three months, Jas has been telling me she can’t wait for us to become parents and experimenting with what our kids are going to be named. So now, she finds out she is pregnant and we are going to be parents, she decides to not even tell me that she was pregnant and gets an abortion. We talked every single day while I was away so she had every chance to tell me 1) she was pregnant, 2) she wanted to get an abortion, 3) she got an abortion. Obviously, the choice to keep or abort the baby is hers but she chose to hide it. On top of that, were those three months of her fantasizing about becoming parents and starting a family a lie? All the trust I had in her was lost in that moment.
One of her friends came over to where we were talking and asked if everything was ok. Jas told her that we needed to talk and everyone should leave. I didn’t really know what to say and I just held Jas’ hand and we walked back down to my car and drove home. She was crying and begging me to talk the whole way. I just asked her two questions. Why hide the pregnancy from me? Why get an abortion? My initial guess was that she was afraid of what our parents would say (fair enough) about having a baby before marriage but I was so wrong.
She said she told her parents the night she found out and they were supportive of whatever she chose to do. She admitted that she lied to her parents that she told me. Anyway, she also told her best friend Lily (who did not show up to the hilltop proposal which I thought was weird but didn’t think too much of it) and asked for her advice. Lily told her that I was cheating (I have never cheated) and she should abort the baby as she didn’t deserve to be tied to me for 18 years. Jas didn’t believe her but said she would get a PI to look into me and get an abortion in the meanwhile. By the time we got home, I knew the full truth and decided that our relationship was done. She hid that she was pregnant from me, she hid getting an abortion, she lied to her parents about telling me, on top of that, she trusted her friend more than me and decided to have a PI look into me.
The love I had for Jas was gone. I calmly told her that we were done and asked her to pack her things and be gone by the next morning (it’s my apartment since before we met and her parents live 20 minutes away and she has her own car) and left to go stay in a hotel room for the night. She begged me to not leave her and try to see things from her angle. I had texts and calls from our friends asking what happened but I didn’t respond to anything. I just ate and fell asleep.
Sunday:
I go back home the next morning and see she hasn’t packed anything. We have the exact same conversation as the day before. I tell her that she has two options. She can either pack her things and leave on her own or I will put all her things into some garbage bags and go drop it off at her parents’ place. I leave and spend the night at a hotel again.
Monday:
I woke up to a text from her telling me that she left and she was sorry. I also got a text from her parents saying they’re sorry on behalf of Jas. I responded saying there was nothing for them to apologize for and asked them to take care of Jas and thanked them for their love and support.
Later, she announced to our friends that we broke up in our group chat. She didn’t specify the reason and just said we wanted different things. That evening, I got a message from Lily, asking to meet up and saying she is worried and wants to check up on me with a red heart emoji. I had no interest in this and didn’t reply and sent a screenshot of the message to Jas. Jas and Lily got into a heated argument in the girls-only group chat. As per a screenshot I received from one of the other girls (Emma) in the group, Jas blamed Lily for manipulating her into getting an abortion and for ruining our relationship and Lily admitted that she was jealous of Jas and had a crush on me and tried apologizing. I got a lot of crying voice notes from Jas that night apologizing more and begging me to take her back. I felt bad for her but I can’t trust her anymore. I didn’t respond and asked Emma to check up on Jas and make sure she is okay.
Tuesday, Wednesday:
Emma told me that Jas is okay and I thanked her for checking on her on Tuesday. Nothing on Wednesday
Thursday:
I meet a girl at the gym and we start talking and we make plans to meet up the following day. Nothing from Jas, Emma, or anyone regarding the situation.
Friday:
I go for a walk in the city with the new girl and we grab dinner together. Before anyone asks, I was up front to her about my situation with Jas and she said she didn’t mind.
Saturday:
I walk to my favorite cafe to get some work done on a personal project. As I’m working, Jas sits down across the table from me. She admits to following me for the last few days. She’s crying, yelling, and apologizing all at once. She says she’s “willing to overlook” me going on a date with someone else. I packed up my stuff and grabbed her hand and went outside where we could talk without causing a scene. I tell her calmly that I will always love her but I can no longer be with her. I told her I hope she heals, moves on, and finds someone new who brings her all the happiness in the world. She was following me on foot so I drove her to her parents’ place and she asked me to hug her one last time and I did and we said our goodbyes.
As soon as I get home, I’m bombarded by messages and calls from Jas’ friends except Lily and Emma accusing me of destroying her mental wellbeing and self-esteem. To be completely honest, I have no idea what I did now that they're all mad about? Telling her I hope she finds someone else and finds happiness? I don’t know anymore. I’ve silenced my phone and I’m here typing this, wondering if I went about this the wrong way. I’ve never used Reddit before and I’m hoping I could get some unbiased opinions here.
AITA?
Edit:
Looks like Jas made a Reddit post too. She left out some details to say the least.
https://www.reddit.com/BreakUps/s/EC8qAsSTJd