Hi all! I haven’t used reddit in around 10 years but I figured I’d bring this situation here(suggested by my younger sister) I’m F55 and I have a daughter F18.
My daughter got pregnant for the first time when she was 14, it was a shock to everyone but I supported her every step of the way. Her boyfriend, (who is also the father of her son) moved in with us so he could help raise my grandchild. A few months ago my daughter asked me if it would be ok for her to try for another child. I told her that she’s still young and that another child in our house being as cramped as it is just wasn’t going to work. (Me, my husband, daughter, daughters bf, and grandson all live in a 2 bedroom house) 2 weeks ago my daughter told me her and her bf tried for another kid and that she’s pregnant. I was shocked and didn’t know what to do so I made an offer, she could stay here in our house until she gave birth but after that we didn’t have room for another child. She started screaming at me saying that we will make it work. I told her she does not disrespect her mother like that and that she needs to leave for a few weeks while we figure everything out. I offered to let my grandson stay with me and my husband until she finds a place. She stormed out of the house calling me all sorts of names and took her son with her. She hasn’t contacted me since this all happened and I’m starting to worry. My husband thinks I overreacted and that it his could have been avoided. I’m not sure what I think, when I asked my sister for her opinion she told me this is the place she goes to find out if she’s the problem or not, I thought I’d give it a go, thanks for reading y’all.

Backstory - I’m 48, recently divorced, and share custody of two boys 17 and 15. I had to put my dog down last month and I’m out for work from 6:30 to 6:00, so most of the time it’s just me in my big ass house. It feels so wasteful, but I’d like to keep the house as some form of stability for my boys and because they haven’t figured out adulting yet.
There was a single mother being evicted from her apartment during Covid, and I really wanted to reach out but never built up the courage.
So I came across this Facebook post of a mother pleading for a room to rent for her oldest, who is a senior at the same H.S. my kids attend. The family is moving their business to San Antonio, and the kid really wants to stay behind to graduate at the same H.S.
I spent some time messaging the mother while on business this week. I told her basically what I wrote above, and she seemed really interested to talk over coffee this weekend. They are willing to pay rent, which is nice but not really necessary, and she says her son is pretty self sufficient. He would probably plan to drive to their home every weekend as well.
My life kinda fell apart in high school and an army of people stepped in to help me. Now that I am in a position to return the favor, I’d like to try. So . . . am I crazy?
Any suggestions on how to protect myself? My Crown Jewels are lots of Fallout props, transformers, and my grandfather’s civil war black powder rifles I guess. And I really don’t want to have to deal with any legal issues that may arise.
I also need to consider that my kids are both going through their own anxiety issues. 😢

I've been looking for comfort in these forums for weeks. They have been very helpful to me. Since my TPNI test was positive for T21 I searched for similar experiences, and these forums have been of great help throughout the process until my TFMR last Thursday, May 9, just a week ago.
Tought my friends have been of great help, it´s not the same. I only feel truly understood by those people who have had the misfortune of living this dramatic and transformative experience. I feel immense empathy for all of you. Now I am in the middle of the grieving process, my head goes one way, my body another. Life passes by me but I am still anchored in the experience of my TFRM. It has been horrible for me to have to give birth to my baby (week 20). My husband and I met him, we were with him, we hugged him. And this is killing me. All the doctors told us that it was better for grieving, and I was convinced that I wanted to see it. However, it seems to me the height of cruelty, to have to give birth to your baby and meet her while knowing that I have made the decision that he should not live. When you give birth you just want to protect your baby, take care of him, hug him, take him home, never part with him, because as soon as you meet him, in my experience, you fall in love.
I felt like I fell in love with my baby. At that moment I would have liked to go back, bring him back to life. Change my mind.
Making the decision when you are pregnant, although it is the most difficult decision a mother can face, is easier. When I opted for TFRM I felt the deepest pain of my life, but at the same time a certain relief, a certain peace that told me that it was the right decision. But after meeting him... What mother would kill his baby once that has met him? You're already in love with him. Your whole body, all your hormones, work to protect it.
I know that right now I am in the middle of the postpartum process and the pain is more acute because of it. But still, I can't stop thinking if we made the right decision. Our diagnosis was gray. Confirmed free trisomy 21, but on the high-detail ultrasound at 19 weeks, everything was perfect. In fact, the doctor told us that, if it had not been for NIPT and amniocentesis, the ultrasound would never have detected anything that would make them suspect T21.
I read a lot about T21 and in the end I think I chose from the fear. The fear of dealing with one of the more complicated cases. I know that I would have loved that child with all my soul, maybe it would have been the greatest love I would experience in my life. I have another two-year-old son and motherhood has transformed me, I love taking care of him, I love mothering, I was not frustrated when I reduced my work day. I think I wouldn't mind having to take care of my son with T21 forever. But I also thought that that was selfish. Experiencing this love maybe had condemned my child to a limited life experience. I thought that it was not fair.
That was my main thought for ultimately choosing TFRM.
But still I can't stop thinking about it. I see babies and children with T21 on social media who lead very good lives and, above all, are happy. I know the doubt will always be there. I will always wonder if I have lost the love of my life and if he could have been happy with me. Thank you for listening to me.

I'm currently 52 years old. All of the women on my mother's side of the family that I actually know this information about did not stop menstruation until they were in their late 50s- 56, 58, etc.
I have not had a period since November 15th. While I know it's not yet a year, and I keep expecting to wake up to Carrie at the prom in my underwear, it's not happening. I do get occasional PMS symptoms- sore breaststroke, etc- but no actual period.
My teenage son was diagnosed with leukemia October 2022. Last summer he basically had a stroke as a side effect of one of his chemo drugs and was hospitalized for three months. I had to keep working on top of this because my health insurance has all three of us on it. Thank God my husband can work remotely, because he handles most of the regular clinic visits. I, however, have overseen the continuation of my son's education (and he graduates from high school next month, on time, despite not being in the building most of the last two years of high school).
Is it possible all this stress caused me to go into menopause? Has anyone else experienced something like this?

Right so I'm at the end of season 5 and I don't get the Sammi hate, I do like her and I feel bad for her. Like she was minding her business then Frank came and disrupted everything then she was happy that she had siblings only for them to treat her like shit and especially Carl being rude to Chuckie - like for what reason. Then she acted like an older sister to Debbie helping her with her period, making breakfast and lunch, cleaning the house ect.. And then Fiona is the biggest bitch like I don't get why they were so awful to her and they never even got a chance to know her. Like she was happy to finally have a dad and they alll sh*tted on her for that.
And then the whole Carl putting Chuckie in prison and framing him, Fiona blaming Sammi when she should be teaching her kids (and yes she's basically their mother and took responsibility for them) to take responsibility. Like poor chuckie barely did anything. I would've gone crazy too. Yes it was bad that she stole Sheila's shit and made her son shit and called the millitary on Ian (which was awful because Ian was the only one who wasn't awful to her) but apart from that she wasn't bad. And honestly, I kinda hate Fiona a little because she keeps blaming Sammi and not Carl, Carl is a little b*tch and he never never has to deal with the consequences of his actions (jail doesn't count because he wanted it).
I also love that Sammi shot Frank that was well deserved.

FYI, this is a story COLLECTION. Lots of standalones technically. So, you can basically start to read at any chapter, no pre-read of the other chapters needed technically (other than maybe getting better descriptions of characters than: Adam Vir=human, Krill=antlike alien, Sunny=tall alien, Conn=telepathic alien). The numbers are (mostly) only for organization of posts and continuity.
OC Written by Charlie Stastarrfallknightrise,
Typed up and then posted here by me.
Proofreading and language check for some chapters by u/Finbar9800 u/BakeGullible9975 u/Didnotseemecomein and u/medium_jock
Future Lore and fact check done by me.
*Starts to cry* I am so so happy! Isn’t that great? Finally some good news and great things to go forward!
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Breaking News tonight from the Apollo 11 memorial landing site, as Admiral Adam Vir and Captains Warren Richards and Mary Chavez were rescued from the Pacific Ocean, following a journey that was supposed to be historical, turned harrowing. Amy Grey comes to us this morning with the story.
Thank you Julie, it was only a week ago here on the historic Cape Canaveral launch site, that the reconstructed Saturn V rocket was launched by the UNSC International Space and Aeronautics Division on the two thousand and fifty first anniversary of the original Apollo 11 mission. On board The reconstructed rocket were astronauts Fleet Admiral Adam Vir, head of the UNSC deep space exploration division, Captain Warren Richards five year veteran and historical aeronautics expert, and Mary Chavez, six year shuttle pilot veteran, and communications specialist.
The reconstructed Saturn V rocket took off thirty minutes behind schedule at 10:03 GMT July 16 after delays attributed to engineering standbys. However, reports by UNSC investigation early this morning indicate that the delays were called for by engineering head Jade Clein who noticed something strange during her final checks of the Saturn V recreated rocket.
In an interview early today, flight director, Aaliyah Seif of the Apollo re-creation mission informed outlets that there was evidence of attempted tampering on the hull of the Saturn V rocket. The tampering case in the shape of these small silver tape strips covering loosened bolts along one of the Saturn V side panels. Engineers stated that the tape was not heat resistant and would have burned off in time to rattle the bolts loose and, likely, cause a devastating spin that would destroy the rocket.
While this attempted tampering was thwarted, the mission would only become more dire. A sudden and shocking report by Mericanda News 5 showed an uncut image of an unknown alien hybrid woman claiming that the UN President had ordered the attempted assassination of Admiral Vir, in conjunction with an audio recording by Admiral Colter Massie, Head of the Galactic intelligence division and known isolationist, that admitted to the attempted assassination of Admiral Vir, and the acquisition of twenty Thunderhawk’s, which were used to harry the Saturn V on its way to the moon. Admiral Kelly, longtime friend of Admiral Vir, corroborated the story, saying she caught General Massie just after he ordered the deployment of the twenty Thunderhawk’s. During their conversion, he attempted to kill her, before being detained by two members of Admiral Vir's crew, and was later seen being escorted into custody by Military Police.
Indeed, footage has been captured from the hull of the Saturn V, showing approximately twenty Thunderhawk’s attempting to destroy the rocket while Rundi remote piloted drones and an unknown group of what appear to be racing jets, fought back to delay the attack, while word was sent to the UNSC to deploy F-90 Darkfire pilots to assist. This all after communications between Houston and the rocket were sabotaged shortly after leaving orbit. The F-90 Darkfire pilots were able to arrive on time to rescue the rocket, though a hole was reportedly torn in the hull, sucking Admiral Vir out into space. Luckily, he was later recovered and returned to his ship without any injuries. Patch teams were then able to repair the torn hull and the astronauts completed their mission landing to crowds on the moon and returning to earth on time, landing in the Pacific Ocean only nine miles away from the waiting ship.
All three astronauts were recovered and are reported to be in good health.
The investigation into the UN president's involvement is still ongoing at this time, however preliminary reports from the Global Bureau of Investigation suggest evidence is both staggering and damning to the current UN president, who earlier today, attempted to cut all ties to the sabotage efforts, saying she was framed. Political experts report that, even assuming her innocence, she will likely not last to the end of her term.
International News Network was able to interview Admiral Vir shortly after his landing while still on board the rescuing ship UNSS Victory.
Here is what the Admiral had to say:
"I find it... Really very disheartening that someone we all trusted, and someone that we all should have looked up to could do something like this. It really is a heinous demonstration of what political corruption can lead people to do."
"And how do you feel, personally about all of this?"
"Personally, I... well to be honest I am hurt and appalled. Not to mention that I fear for the safety of my family and my friends. Every day I wonder if my involvement with them is going to get someone I love killed... The thought haunts me, but I hope after all of this is over I... and all of us can breathe a little easier."
"Were you scared?"
"I don't think that even needs to be a question. Of course I was scared, getting sucked out of your spaceship isn't ideal."
"What do you hope will happen now?"
"I hope that justice can be upheld to those who deserve it."
"What do you have to say to the UN president."
”...”
”So?”
"I have nothing to say. Wouldn't want to waste the air.”
[…]
What followed would be one of the largest scandals in recent political history. At some point an unknown number of classified government documents was leaked onto the internet, and after that it was all over for the Presidency. Thousands of enterprising humans, and aliens alike, viewed the documents to discover all the underhanded and dirty things which had been going on in the UN governmental body over the past few years. Forensic accounting experts (mostly Tesraki), uncovered plenty of fiscal tampering which shed light on plenty of isolationist related projects and bank accounts. There was even evidence that they had something to do with the original assassination attempt against Admiral Vir so many months ago. The drama had even managed to capture the attention of Rundi political experts and Vrul computer science geniuses, and together they unearthed a world of unfathomable, but not unexpected corruption. The process to remove the UN president from office was probably one of the fastest movements of human government ever seen by UN congressional leaders, who were likely trying their very best to distance themselves from association with the president, who despite not being the only one involved, had become the political scapegoat for everyone else that had a supposed link with isolationism.
Even the VP fell under suspicion and was watched closely for the rest of his term.
Admiral Massie and the UN President were placed under arrest and set up for court dates in the nearing future, though everyone saw a long and arduous litigation process ahead. Even Ramirez's family had filed for damages against the government after the news came to light, confirming that their son had been shot as collateral in one of the UN presidents plans to assassinate Admiral Vir. They settled out of court to the tune of an unknown, but impressive sum of money.
No one really knew how much, but a couple months later Ramirez's younger sister was seen training at one of the most prestigious Olympic academies on earth.
Ramirez himself was suddenly able to afford housing on the moon in a condo just next door to his best friend, though no one else inquired further.
The Rundi chairwoman came forward with her own investigation, admitting to being suspicious for a long time though she feared accusations without proper proof. Admiral Vir was seen having lunch with her not so many months after the events took place, suggesting that the trust between the two of them had not been completely dissolved. With much of the isolationist element gone from government, public policy began to lean heavily towards integration with the alliance. The occasional isolationist demonstration or protest was held, but none of them managed to gain traction.
Admiral Vir was finding himself more important than ever, though it was to his chagrin that his ship was grounded for the intervening months while the investigation continued.
No one was entirely sure what the future held.
[…]
Admiral Vir stepped into Admiral Kelly's office. The last time he had actually visited her here had been over a few years ago, before his promotion to captain of the Harbinger. It seemed so distant now, and he never expected to walk into her office with a star on his shoulder. She stood as he entered, and the two of them shook hands, ignoring all the stuffy formalities that usually come with the meeting of two military officers.
The wall behind her was decorated with a myriad of metals and awards she had received over her career, and he couldn't help but note the slight tinge of grey he could see forming in her hair. He knew that feeling, he was going prematurely white much to his chagrin. She stood and the two of them shook hands.
"Vir."
"Kelly."
She motioned him to sit, and he sat, sighing lightly as he had been on his feet all day consulting with political figures and other members of the UNSC.
"A strange couple months wouldn't you say?”
"Tell me about it."
Kelly reached under her desk and withdrew an amber bottle which she placed between them,
"I always forget; do you drink?"
"On occasion."
"Well consider this an occasion."
She said, popping off the top and pouring two glasses for them. She handed his across the desk and he leaned back in his seat cupping the cool glass in both hands.
She swirled the amber liquid around in her glass,
"So what are your plans after all this?”
He took a sip of water warmed by the burning liquid,
"Hoping things will go back to normal and I can go back to traveling the galaxy."
Kelly grunted,
"A simple man with simple motivations."
He laughed,
"Sometimes I think a stupid man with simple motivations."
She chuckled then grew serious,
"A lot of people make the mistake of assuming simple people don't have the intelligence to match. Some people assume that trusting means gullible means dumb. Just because we are trusting and expect others to do the right thing is not necessarily a fault. I believe there is a kind of beauty in assuming the fundamental goodness of humanity."
Admiral Vir shook his head,
"How can you after seeing what we have seen?”
"How can you not?"
She shrugged,
"We always knew that politicians were corrupt, but think about everything else we have seen."
Admiral Vir nodded slowly,
"The enthusiasm for the Apollo 11 recreation mission, the people who flew up to help us. All of those people who went digging through years of information just to uncover the truth."
She raised her glass,
"Precisely. Goodness in humanity is all around us, but we tend to overlook the good in favor of the bad."
She placed her hat on the desk and sighed,
"It is up to good people to keep their goodness going even when it might seem easier to give into the bad. I have and will always believe in the fundamental good of humanity. Some may call it naive, or even stupid. Others have said I have a romanticized view of a species that is fundamentally broken."
She turned her head to look out the window, a contemplative expression on her face before turning back to look at Adam.
"You understand me, I think."
He nodded slowly.
"People need to be believed in. You tell someone for long enough that they are fundamentally bad at their core and they will begin to believe you. For thousands of years pessimists have gotten it into our heads that we are no better than animals, worse even since animals don't fight in wars. But I believe that is wrong, I have seen people, I have met people, and I have interacted with people who prove to me that humanity cannot just be fundamentally bad or else these people wouldn't exist."
She tapped her nails against the glass,
"I think it is easier to corrupt purity than wash away a stain."
He listened quietly as she continued.
"Humans are born good, Adam, and life stains us. We aren't born stained while some of us are wiped clean."
She shook her head,
"Doesn't make sense to me."
She caught him with a look, pinning him to the spot with her intense stare,
"People like you convince me of this every day."
"Me!?..."
She held up a hand.
"Adam Vir, I am convinced that the best outcome this universe ever had, was when a happy go lucky science fiction freak was lucky enough to be the first man to meet aliens. Any other way things would have gone horribly wrong."
She leaned across her desk,
"The universe needs men and women like you, and not only that but the universe needs people who are going to support men and women like you."
She sat back,
"Which is why I have made a decision…"
He raised an eyebrow in curiosity, not entirely sure where this could be going.
She smiled,
"I have decided to run for UN President."
He nearly spit his mouthful of expensive scotch onto the table, but managed to choke it mostly down.
Eyes wide he set his glass down,
"Are you serious?”
She smiled,
"Seriously serious."
"Well shit, you have my vote for sure."
He raised his glass to her,
"I couldn't think of a better outcome."
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Thanks for reading! As you saw in the title, this is a cross posted story written by starrfallknightrise and I'll just upload some of it here for you guys, if you are interested and want to read ahead, the original story-collection can be found on tumblr or wattpad to read for free. (link above this text under "OC:..." ) It is the Empyrean Iris story collection by starfallknightrise. Also, if you want to know more about the story collection i made an intro post about it, so feel free to check that out to see what other great characters to look forward to! (Link also above this text). I have no affiliations to the author; just thought I’d share some of the great stories you might enjoy a lot!
Obviously, I have Charlie’s permission to post this and for the people already knowing the stories, or starting to read them: If you follow the link and check out the story you will see some differences. I made some small (non-artistic) changes, mainly correcting writing mistakes, pronoun correction and some small additional info here and there of things which were not thought of/forgotten or even were added/changed in later stories (like the “USS->UNSC” prefix of Stabby, Chalar=/->Sunny etc). As well as some "biggemajor" changes in descriptions and info’s for the same stringency/continuity reason. That can be explained by the story collection being, well a story collection at the start with many standalone-stories just starring the same people, but later on it gets more to a stringent storyline with backstories and throwbacks. (For example Adam Vir has some HEAVY scars over his body, following his bones, which were not really talked about up till half the collection, where it says it covers his whole body and you find out via backflash that he had them the whole time and how he got them, they just weren't mentioned before. However, I would think a doctor would at least see these scars before that, especially since he gets analyzed, treated and goes shirtless/in T-shirts in some stories). So TLDR: Writing and some descriptions are slightly changed, with full OK from the author, since he himself did not bother to correct these things before.

Trigger warning ‼️ Lisa you vile pos!!!! Yes I said what I said. Do you even realize your kids hate you??? If you do it’s obvious that you don’t care. Whats also obvious that you care more about $1 for your fix than you do your own pregnant child that you carried beneath your heart for 9 months. Did I hear you right are you now saying someone passed away??? You have no low you won’t stoop to is there Lisa??? You could care less about anything except your next fix. You deny having a problem but your burnt up lips, weight loss, dirty fingernails and your eyes tell a entirely different story. LEAVE YOUR DAUGHTER ALONE!!! We are sick and tired of watching this BS. It’s triggering to me and many others. You are allover TikTok crying, screaming, yelling and assaulting your child because you are going through withdrawals. Can you imagine what Big Cole thinks of what you’re doing??? He’s ashamed of what you are doing!!! At this point Lisa rehab is too good for you. Keep saying that nothing is going to happen to you because I distinctly remember you saying you were “untouchable” and that no one was going to take your son. In fact I remember you being quite smug and cocky about it and you see how that turned out because your son was in fact taken. So Lisa keep being cocky because it might take time but it’s been proven that you aren’t untouchable like you think you are. It’s just a matter of time before your games come to an end because you are spiraling and fast. By the way Lisa we know you aren’t going to IOP that would interfere with your begging and Hug use. It seems not only have people been enabling you by sending you enough money to use but that they are in fact sending enough for you to increase your use. Well I leave you with this Lisa at least we know Jace is no longer there for you to abuse him and he’s actually thriving. I also know that is driving you crazy because you actually thought your son would rather come back to filthy house, no rules and a mother thats having nervous breakdowns at all hours of the night. Instead despite you he’s happy. I just hope Abby is smart and leaves to and doesn’t look back. It’s what I eventually did to my father who treated me just like you do Abby!!! Sorry to anyone that I triggered with this but her hissing and screaming at Abby is just too much for me and you can’t even scroll TikTok without seeing her BS pop up

900 years ago joyboy is born. He is the son of the king of the ancient kingdom and the heir to the throne. The ancient kingdom at the time was the biggest and most powerful kingdom in the world due to them having the energy source that is the mother flame. Exit from the kingdom was prohibited much like it was in wano unless you had permission.
Growing up joyboy was bored of the life there and was intrigued by the outside world, wanting to leave and explore the unknown. Much like oden he finds his chance to leave and takes it without second thought, resulting in him being disowned and declared the first pirate(the first to sail the seas for his own reasons and without approval).
After leaving the kingdom he spent years sailing the world visiting new places and meeting new people. Eventually though he came to realize that unlike the luxurious lives that people at the ancient kingdom were living, the people outside were struggling and living hard lives. After the years of sailing and the realization of what the outside world really is like he decided to return home with the purpose of spreading the most powerful energy source that was the mother flame to the entire world.
Returning home he found out that his father had passed away and now on the throne his younger brother imu was sitting. Joyboy was the eldest son but due to him being disowned the heir was imu. Meeting his brother, joyboy tried to convince him that the people outside the kingdom need the mother flame to prosper but imu was completely against it and they had falling out. Joyboy understanding that imu would never agree, the only choice left was to take the mother flame by force. He left the kingdom again and went to find all the friends he made on his journey to ally with him. That included the Kazuki and the land of wano, zunesha, the fishmen and probably others that we don't know so far.
News of the army that Joyboy was gathering reached imu who felt that they will be a big threat and maybe a threat to big to handle on his own so he decided to choose the strongest kingdoms and made them an offer so they would stand with him, which the kingdoms accepted and they are the same kingdoms that would later form the world government.
The war between the armies led by joyboy and imu happened and in the end joyboy was defeated but not before acquiring the mother flame and placing it on a safe place(laugh tale) but before he was able to distribute the flame to the world he was defeated. Before he died though he used his allies that were the Kozuki to write down everything that transpired on the unbreakable stones that became the poneglyphs.
The queen of the king of alabasta at the time Nefertari Lily who had sided with imu, realized the reason that joyboy was doing everything and with a change of heart she helped joyboy to preserve the information of what happened for the next generations. Lily spread the poneglyphs with the information of the void century throughout the world and joyboy entrusted the four poneglyphs that hold the location of laugh tale to his most trusted allies, one was zounesha, one was the kozuki, one was the mairmeid princess who alongside the road poneglyph received a poneglyph with joyboy's apology and we don't know who had the poneglyph that big mom had in the current timeline.
After the war ended and the ancient kingdom lost its energy source they couldn't keep being as powerful as they were before on their own so alongside the other kigndoms that stood against joyboy they formed the world government that we know today.

the illusion of choice (vent)
context: i stuck in a rude ignorant town in vietnam with absolutely no one i can relate to. I haven't met another asexual person ever in my life, my autism has made me more closed off over the years after spending 3 years in the shittiest highschool in town and meet the worst most cruel kids all around. anyways, the gist is that im rotating around interest in having relationships and my libido spiked up and it's so shameful and scary and strange, here's some stuff i wrote
Its like, I never claim to be aromantic. So why am I feeling this eternal shame for wanting to try out not relationships, not the heterosexual dynamic? Just something a bit more than platonic maybe it's because I don't have a plan for committing? or maybe because I don't trust relationships in general, and they often spiral downhill based on the "adult role models" around me, making me feel weird. I was crippled and stolen of those abilities to navigate relationships and friendships. Growing up in a semireligious family with bitter grandparents who hated my mother for marrying so early, I was raised "pure" and was fear mongered to death with anything related to my sexuality and attraction. I am autistic and have no one to validate and help me stand up for myself. So am I really so repulsed by relationships, or is it because I am distrustful of people in general and was fed with fear and the taboo silence rather than a sit down and explainations? I've been browsing the asexual subreddit. It's not common for people to claim they were raised to become intentionally sexually repressed by their helicopter parents. Sometimes asexuality isn't inherent but just what you're used to and comfortable with, and there's nothing wrong with that. I just recently got a taste of a crush, and that feeling rushed back. I know I'm fine with being married to better things than holding a chick in my arms, giving her pet names, and doing a couple things in rotation until she left me because we're young and poor. It's so counterproductive, especially if I have other concerns. But still, it got me thinking, "Maybe try." There's a reason kids who are high school sweethearts mostly have a fine support network, are hetero, and have parents with stable income, for them to approve such bullshit, poor family just fear mongering their kids about how one wrong step could ruin their future. and it's not wrong. heterosexuality in vietnam is often misogynistic and lead to shitty results, every relationship is too early in the parents eyes if the kid turned out poor or abused. What I'm saying is that ive never given a choice or a chance to even see it for myself without the fear of intimacy built from my family who can't recognise that they have to teach their son instead of telling their daughters to be careful. I guess it started because I was kind of teased in school for obvious reasons: no """"man"""" would look at me. even though obviously lesbian. But we all know those teen boys are tools; I could easily bag one on Facebook just by texting essentially about nothing. Girls hold them on a pedestal because of heterosexual relationships. Most of my classmates have ugly ass boyfriends that make them starve and actually hit them; the other half have online boyfriends. There's always problems relating to power structures. Some classmates made fun of me last year by saying that I have pretty hands but have never properly held anyone's, or that they've found my "secret boyfriend" and how they laugh to themselves about how absurd it is. And obviously, thats laughable, and I pay no mind to the teenage peer pressure and insecurity speaking on their part, but still, I guess seeing girls heads over heels over girls does make me curious about the truth in a kind of addiction produced in finding your other half, just a smidge of curiosity. Maybe I am overcompensating at this time because of depression. The problem is that I would like to bag a chick, but I have no incentive to do so. I was immune to heterosexuality propaganda growing up; I was exposed to progressive beliefs, so I poked holes easily in gender roles, problematic red flags, etc., and my standard rose. Plus, being gay and lonely in my sexuality makes it hard to make friends with girls, and I can't relate to anyone around me because the gays in this city don't organize. Why should I pursue a relationship with a hormonally ignorant pos at this school?

First, sorry for writing in English - I feel I can relay details better this way, but fully understand german, feel free to respond in whichever language you wish. So, onto our issue... I was taking the kids to school this morning. As usual, we get onto the tram, tread along. Arrive at our stop (won't say which district, but transdanubia let's say - other side of the donau). The tram Haltestelle is extended, has lanes on both sides for cars, with traffic lights at the top. Most parents and kids use the back exit of tram and cross the street there (not where the crosswalk is and the Zebrastreifen are). The light for cars turned green. I have my daughter at my side, my son as always, is lagging behind. He's a day dreamer. This driver, we're crossing in front of, decides to push up, coming within a hairs distance of brushing up against my son and injuring him (edit: for clarification, luckily my don't wasn't injured, however the driver pushed up real close.) . I get angry of course, and say, "hey, was machst du, siehst du nicht?" He aggressively responsds that the light is green. My response is "interrisiert mich nicht, das hier ist eine strassebahn Haltestelle. Du muß warten" to which he explodes and begins yelling obscenities about my mother, in front of my kids. All he needed to do was to put his foot on the breakpedal and wait till a 7 year old crossed. Like what the hell? İ asked him if his intent was to murder a child, and he continued yelling and cursing. Afterwards some parents came up to me and thanked me for speaking out, but it was quite a negative experience. Was I in the wrong here?

context: i stuck in a rude ignorant town in vietnam with absolutely no one i can relate to. I haven't met another asexual person ever in my life, my autism has made me more closed off over the years after spending 3 years in the shittiest highschool in town and meet the worst most cruel kids all around. anyways, the gist is that im rotating around interest in having relationships and my libido spiked up and it's so shameful and scary and strange, here's some stuff i wrote
Its like, I never claim to be aromantic. So why am I feeling this eternal shame for wanting to try out not relationships, not the heterosexual dynamic? Just something a bit more than platonic maybe it's because I don't have a plan for committing? or maybe because I don't trust relationships in general, and they often spiral downhill based on the "adult role models" around me, making me feel weird. I was crippled and stolen of those abilities to navigate relationships and friendships. Growing up in a semireligious family with bitter grandparents who hated my mother for marrying so early, I was raised "pure" and was fear mongered to death with anything related to my sexuality and attraction. I am autistic and have no one to validate and help me stand up for myself. So am I really so repulsed by relationships, or is it because I am distrustful of people in general and was fed with fear and the taboo silence rather than a sit down and explainations? I've been browsing the asexual subreddit. It's not common for people to claim they were raised to become intentionally sexually repressed by their helicopter parents. Sometimes asexuality isn't inherent but just what you're used to and comfortable with, and there's nothing wrong with that. I just recently got a taste of a crush, and that feeling rushed back. I know I'm fine with being married to better things than holding a chick in my arms, giving her pet names, and doing a couple things in rotation until she left me because we're young and poor. It's so counterproductive, especially if I have other concerns. But still, it got me thinking, "Maybe try." There's a reason kids who are high school sweethearts mostly have a fine support network, are hetero, and have parents with stable income, for them to approve such bullshit, poor family just fear mongering their kids about how one wrong step could ruin their future. and it's not wrong. heterosexuality in vietnam is often misogynistic and lead to shitty results, every relationship is too early in the parents eyes if the kid turned out poor or abused. What I'm saying is that ive never given a choice or a chance to even see it for myself without the fear of intimacy built from my family who can't recognise that they have to teach their son instead of telling their daughters to be careful. I guess it started because I was kind of teased in school for obvious reasons: no """"man"""" would look at me. even though obviously lesbian. But we all know those teen boys are tools; I could easily bag one on Facebook just by texting essentially about nothing. Girls hold them on a pedestal because of heterosexual relationships. Most of my classmates have ugly ass boyfriends that make them starve and actually hit them; the other half have online boyfriends. There's always problems relating to power structures. Some classmates made fun of me last year by saying that I have pretty hands but have never properly held anyone's, or that they've found my "secret boyfriend" and how they laugh to themselves about how absurd it is. And obviously, thats laughable, and I pay no mind to the teenage peer pressure and insecurity speaking on their part, but still, I guess seeing girls heads over heels over girls does make me curious about the truth in a kind of addiction produced in finding your other half, just a smidge of curiosity. Maybe I am overcompensating at this time because of depression. The problem is that I would like to bag a chick, but I have no incentive to do so. I was immune to heterosexuality propaganda growing up; I was exposed to progressive beliefs, so I poked holes easily in gender roles, problematic red flags, etc., and my standard rose. Plus, being gay and lonely in my sexuality makes it hard to make friends with girls, and I can't relate to anyone around me because the gays in this city don't organize. Why should I pursue a relationship with a hormonally ignorant pos at this school?

THIS IS AN IMPORTANT MESSAGE PLEASE READ: (I hope this is OK Mods - just know the H3 love is strong and I could use some help & so could this family.)
Hello my name is Kat and I am adopting a family in Gaza.
I am working with Operation Olive Branch in the #PassTheHat campaign to help them rebuild their homes, get aid, food, water and everything else that they may need.
The family that I am adopting is a family of 7. Father: Bassam Mother: Fathia Son: Muhammad Son: Doaa Son: Ahmed Son: Randa Son: Hamza I am not a large creator by any means - but I believe that even the smallest numbers can move the biggest mountains. Which is what I hope we can do. I know that times are hard with finances but I’m not asking you to donate a lot - in fact I’m just asking you to donate $1 - and if you have time - share/like/favorite this to help it get more exposure. Thank you so much if you can and do donate. It means more than you can imagine to this family.
LINK TO DONATE AND READ ABOUT FAMILY:
https://www.spotfund.com/story/a412f63d-4f06-4513-8d87-9192a8f872bc?source=d&share_location=i&SFID=qfgvkdi

How do you know when a family member is being emotionally abusive or is it and overreaction?
Unfortunately, I have a sibling who’s finishing her BA in psych and our kids are close but I’ve been having trouble with fatigue, stress and trying to find the right meds to help keep me stable. She orders me around, talks to me like I’m 3 years old and even had the nerve to call herself my kid’s “mother” right in front of me when I was exhausted and depressed.
She’s managed to make me have nightmares, go to bed crying and having suicidal thoughts. Summer is really hard for me and my main focus is getting better and I’m even working with the state to help people with disabilities to find better jobs and/or go back to school.
I’ve hesitated posting this because this is very personal but I truly feel like because she has everything in life (the house, the fiancé, the kid, her ability to go back to school ect.) she’s seeing my illness and my struggles and mistakes and just rubs it in face my face like I’m a dog that pissed on the carpet. I really don’t wanna be around her anymore. I know I need help and I fucked a lot of shit up but I have NEVER treated anyone like that in my life especially after I find out if that person has mental health struggles.
The only thing is her son and my daughter get along so well and they are both kids. I’d hate to cause any division between them and I love my nephew so much but I cannot be around her without feeling like she’s gonna provoke and make me feel like shit.
I don’t know what to do.

I, My Sister, My Mother and My Grandmother live together in a big house. My Father left when i was 2, My Grandpa is alive but has never been in my life and my Grandmas Second Lover who i consider to be my grandpa died in 2011 to Lung Cancer.
So heres what hapened today. Tell me if ive been gaslighted or not but it sure feels like it:
My pet bearded dragon got a wierd lump on her upper lip that she flinches from whenever i touch it so its obviosly painful. I told my mother who said she whoudnt bring her to a vet because shes tired and it costs money. (Mind you ive told her many times in the past 3 months to take her to a vet). I told my grandmother and she just chucked about it and said shes fine and she whoudnt be doing it.
I offered to pay the vet fees and my Sister even offered to pay them but they still refuse.
We argued untill my grandma walked in. We spoke back and forth untill my Grandma insulted me. I insulted her back with a way less bad insult and then she called me a Moron and i called her stupid.
My mother came between us and looked at me and told that i had to stop even tho my grandma started it by insulting me first. Now both are angry at me and my mother told me im scary when im mad (even tho i havent even touched them in 4 Years when ive been mad and last time i did i just grabed my mother by her shoulders gently and said please lissen to me, i havent actually hit anyone in anger for 10+ years and im 21 yet im still too scary i guess) and my mother said i had to think about what i said. I asked what was the wrong thing i said. She dodged the question like 3 times and started to speak about someting else.
When she finaly answeared she said 'Do you think what you said will make things better or change someting?' I said 'I guess not.' (Since me and my grandmas fight end the same way everytime where my mother picks her side and im left on my own to make the whole thing be my fault). I told her 'How did my Grandmother insulting me help?' She said 'You shouldnt insult her and i should respect my elderly.' I said now in anger 'I dont respect her nor you right now and i cant believe what im hearing' she then left to the balcony to smoke like she allways does after these fights.
I was so angered and annoyed but then my Sister came to me and started calming me down and said she agreed me. We talked back and forth till i wasent as angry anymore and i just walked into the bathroom and cooled off there.
I hate these 2 women and how my mother is such a coward to allways take my grandmas side. ( Couple times she has spoken to me later to tell me she agreed with me and that she didint want to fight with her mother. But apearently her son isint off the limits even tho acording to her im scary when mad and when i told her so was Grandma she just said no she isint. So wtf. )
Not to mention my mother told me i ruined her day afterwards. Is this gaslighting? If it is its been hapening since i was a little kid.
I wonder what it takes for them to finaly go and bring her to a vet... they preasured me to get her in the first place. I said i wasent sure if i was responsible enough and that its an exotic pet that needs medical check ups. They told me that someone else was trying to buy her and that this might be my only change so i got her. Yet when i complained to them about that they both looled angry or very annoyed and refused to answear that.
I feel bullied due to my Autism and memory problems causing me to often forget things i or they said wich makes this even more annoying. I allways apologise for these since i see things better that way than us being mad at each other. My grandma even has said to me that if i fought with her like this again she whould leave. That was years ago so obviosly she wasent being serious but still.
This time? No i refuse to apologise i did nothing wrong. Mayby i shoudnt have insulted my grandma back but at that point them seemingly seeing my pet as some toy made me so angry i did insult her back. And now i remember what i called her and what she called me. She called me a Log-Head and i called her a Car Jack. After wich she called me a moron and i called her stupid. Thats how it went and that was the worst thing i did in this.
This isint the first time all this hapened. This is like the hundred time. My family well...
My Sister is Timid and doesent want to take part in these fights but she often messages to me or just tells me later that i was in the right when all is over. (i dont blame her for being timid, shes had a rough childhood in being depressed, bullied and loosing half her hearing to infection.)
My Mother is Scared of her mother clearly but even when our Grandma isint involved she never has said to me she was wrong. For example yesterday she said 'Coffee doesent corrode your teeth.' I called bs and googled and i was correct and coffee is acidic and can corrode your teeth. I told her to admid she was wrong like 5 times and she never did. This was a minor thing but upon reflecting now i dont think she has ever apologised for being wrong ever.
My grandmother if im being honest is a Hypocritical, Fuse-Headed, Short Minded, Self-Apathetic, Hard working old Woman. I love her and i care for her but shes just so infuriating. I often for fun mimic my Sister, Mother and Grandmothers speech to joke around but when my grandma hears me mimic them its okay, but if i mimic her im the bad guy. Worst of all shes mimiced me many times and ive not been offended by it.
So there. What do you think? Mayby it is really me whos the problem and in my autistic mind i just dont understand.
TL:DR: ( Too Long Didint Read)
My Mother takes my Grandmas side in everything even if its obvious shes in the wrong and they both gaslight me into thinking i was in the wrong in our fights and now i dont know what to do.

I found this on this article: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-13421401/sophie-turner-joe-jonas-divorce-mental-health.html

Now, Sophie has spoken out about the media storm surrounding the split, and she admitted that she struggled immensely with 'mom guilt' and described that time as the 'worst few days of her life', while stating that her children have been made 'victims' of the bitter fallout over their break-up.
At the time, Sophie was in the U.K. filming the TV show Joan, while Joe and their two daughters, Willa, four, and Delphine, one, were in the US.
'I was contracted to be on set for another two weeks, so I couldn’t leave. My kids were in the States and I couldn’t get to them because I had to finish Joan. And all these articles started coming out…' the star trailed off.
After the news hit the web, rumors erupted that they had split because Sophie was partying too much - especially after snaps of her enjoying a wild night out with her costars just days before Joe filed began to circulate.
'It hurt because I really do completely torture myself over every move I make as a mother – mom guilt is so real,' continued Sophie.
'I just kept having to say to myself, "None of this is true. You are a good mom and you’ve never been a partier."
'It’s unfathomable the amount of people that will just make s**t up and put it up based on a picture.
'A picture might tell a thousand words, but it’s not my story. It felt like I was watching a movie of my life that I hadn’t written, hadn’t produced, or starred in. It was shocking. I’m still in shock.'
During her interview with Vogue, Sophie also admitted that she previously suffered from 'depression, anxiety, and bulimia.'
'I’m not very good at processing my emotions. I lock them away and then they’ll bubble up in years to come in some form of depression or anxiety,' she shared.
'Being a young girl, especially one growing up in the spotlight, you really judge yourself.'
She revealed that while she had taken medication for her mental health issues in the past, she currently isn't using any.
'Not since I moved back to the U.K.,' she dished. 'Which is great and also surprising, because I anticipated that I’d need to – now perhaps more than ever.
'There’s something about a community and a support system that I’ve never realized is so important up until now.
'And I think the reason I was on medication for so long is because I didn’t have those people with me.
'Now that I’m back home, I’m actually the happiest I’ve been in a really long time. I’m starting over again, rediscovering what I like to do, who I like to be with.'
Now, Sophie told Vogue that she's hopeful that she and Joe will be able to co-parent peacefully.
'I’m unhappy with the way everything played out, especially when it comes to my children. They’re the victims in all of this,' she said.
'But I think we’re doing the best we ca. I’m confident that we can figure it out. Joe is a great father to our children and that’s all that I can ask for.
'I don’t care about the politics, I just want the girls to feel loved and have everyone show up for them.'
Since she and Joe split, Sophie has been linked to Peregrine Pearson - the eldest son and heir of Michael Pearson, the 4th Viscount Cowdray, and a former film producer who owns a significant chunk of the Pearson media empire.
'I am having fun dating. It’s very fun,' she added. 'I mean, it’s strange when you get married so young. It’s like you never really learn how to date. So it’s all very new to me.'

[I just recently learned of this community after I had shared this in the raisedbynarcissists sub, and I couldn't figure out how to crosspost it so I'm just copy&pasting]
As the title states, (and despite the existential risk to myself - as I am disabled, impoverished, and my survival is reliant on the room I rent in her attic - given her recent threat to have have me thrown out by the police because she could not handle the feelings she had during the argument that she initiated), I have finally drawn a bright red line in the metaphorical sand regarding my nMom's treatment of me. This is the culmination of 8+ years of sustained, one-sided, unreciprocated, and unsuccessful effort on my part to sustain, salvage, repair, or improve our "relationship".
 
Reading through some of the posts on this sub over the past day or so has been very validating, as one thing she's always been extremely committed to is making sure she's the loudest voice in my life telling me how invalid all of my emotions and experiences and realities are.
 
I am very grateful for anyone who takes the time to read this post, and any input, commentary, criticism, insight, commiseration, etc, is welcome and appreciated (especially on the topic of being NC-except-as-a-tenant). Her lifelong response to my needs or inconvenient requests for respect or attempts to hold her accountable for her behaviour (throughout literally hundreds and hundreds of interactions that she has walked away from or hung-up on) has essentially been "tl;dr 🖕". So I'm acutely aware of the length of what I'm written, and I'm very used to her cold (or even mocking) avoidance and dismissal of valid issues by commenting on the length or format of my communications without ever engaging on the merits.
 
Anyways, enough preamble, here's the full letter (all of the square-bracketed disclaimers and AI-summary are part of the letter as delivered to her, to try and counter the acute and selective illiteracy she develops whenever she begins to read something she doesn't like):
 
[Start of Letter]
 
[This document begins with a 382 word AI-generated summary (titled "AI- GENERATED SUMMARY:" below the square-bracketed opening remarks), estimated at 1m23s time required to read. If you are unable or unwilling to make it through even this brief summary, then there is literally nothing else I could possibly do to assist in your comprehension of my positions. The full message following the summary is approximately 2100 words, estimated at approximately 8 minutes to read.]
 
[If you would like assistance in understanding things I've written that you're struggling to interpret or comprehend, you can go to chatgpt.com (no account necessary), or download the ChatGPT app from the Google Play Store on your phone. You can simply interact with the chat in natural language (in other words, type as though you were texting another person) and it will understand what you are saying. If you are struggling to understand how to interact with it effectively, you can simply inform it of that (in any wording you choose) and it will assist you with altering your approach to receive more effective results.]
 
AI-GENERATED SUMMARY:
 
Your son's message is a powerful declaration of his boundaries, grievances, and intentions within your relationship. Here's a breakdown to help you understand:
 
Preface: He advises you to read with an open mind and, if needed, with assistance due to the emotional complexity.
 
Declaration of Disengagement: He firmly states his decision to disengage from any form of interaction or acknowledgment outside of essential landlord-tenant matters.
 
Condemnation of Abuse: He accuses you of perpetuating a cycle of abuse that has deeply impacted his health and stability.
 
Rejection of Coercion: He dismisses the idea that being evicted is a viable solution to the abuse, highlighting the coercive nature of such a choice, and how it leaves him vulnerable to further harm.
 
Criticism of Your Behavior: He unreservedly condemns your actions, particularly your exploitation and manipulation, emphasizing the gravity and effects of your conduct.
 
Challenges to Your Claims: He directly confronts your claims regarding his efforts in the relationship, asserting that he has consistently made extensive attempts to maintain it, despite your accusations to the contrary.
 
Commitment to Compliance: He unequivocally affirms his commitment to compliance with all landlord-related demands, demonstrating his unwavering respect for your authority as the homeowner.
 
Demand for Clarity: He demands clear and unambiguous knowledge of the requisite terms when any changes to living arrangement paradigms are demanded, underscoring his willingness to comply with any directives you may issue.
 
Defense Against Gaslighting: He firmly asserts his unwavering commitment to respecting your property and authority, preemptively refuting any attempts to accuse him otherwise.
 
Insights into Your Behaviour: He offers insights into patterns in your behaviour, linking them to moments of vulnerability or distress in your life.
 
Call for Self-Reflection: He urges you to seek professional help for your narcissism and unresolved childhood traumas.
 
Caution Regarding Gravity: He states that failing to address your responsibilities would be a missed opportunity for both of you to salvage the relationship and resolve underlying issues.
 
Reiteration of Hope: Despite his current stance, he leaves the door open for reconciliation if you undergo necessary personal growth.
 
Closure on Unequal Effort: He firmly states that he can no longer sustain the one-sided effort in the relationship and won't continue to do so.
 
It's evident that he's deeply hurt and demanding acknowledgment, change, and resolution in your relationship.
 
[end of AI-generated summary; my full, non-AI-generated message follows below]
 
[I recommend that you read this in its entirety at a time and capacity level where your literacy and comprehension are at their highest level, and preferably with the interpretational assistance of a knowledgeable and competent support person or technological assistant.]
 
[Presumably, after reading a few sentences or less, your defense mechanisms will be activated and you will eject. However, as with the vast majority of the things I have said to you that have gone unacknowledged, I am completely certain that the contents are cogent and comprehensible, and I believe that with competent support and vulnerable effort you undoubtedly have the raw cognitive capacity necessary for comprehension if you are able to stabilize your emotional reactions and put real effort into the actions necessary for you to understand my words.]
 
I will not talk to you.
I will not look at you.
I will not approach you.
I will not acknowledge you.
 
If you attempt to interact with me on any interpersonal level not related to your role as a landlord, I will reserve the right to express just how fucking despicable it is to treat such a vulnerable person with such utter disregard and abuse for so fucking long.
 
The cycle of abuse you have maintained to destabilize me for your own pathological reasons has caused - and continues to cause - extensive damage to my health, stability, and existence. However, since I know your response to this would likely be some variation of "you're not a victim here [my name], so if I treat you so bad, just leave", I'll preemptively and unequivocally condemn such coercive and abusive tactics, and state again (as I did the other day), that the forced choice between your abuse and life-threatening-homelessness is obviously no choice at all, and leaves me perpetually subject to your coercion and abusive control.
 
Such exploitation by you is absolutely disgusting, and honestly I understand why you run away from yourself at every single instance where you're in danger of having your lifelong house-of-cards ego even slightly threatened. I know if I treated another human being the way you treat me for even a moment, let alone for the literal years you have done so, I would not be able to face myself in the mirror either. You should be fucking ashamed of yourself.
 
You say I "don't want to be your son anymore", as though it has been someone other than me making hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of hours of efforts and attempts in order to try and single-handedly keep our relationship alive, and as though it has been someone other than you who has stonewalled me for years about every single legitimate and valid time I attempted to gain even the slightest foothold as a full human being in the owner-pet relationship you have fought so hard to maintain. You siphon, in fact demand, emotional supply whenever you so choose, and then fucking discard me as soon as it appears that I might do anything that would result in you losing even a fraction of a percent of the 99% to 1% imbalance you believe is an immutable part of our "relationship".
 
I will do my absolute best to be in my room as much as physically possible when you are home, so as to minimize the need to be physically adjacent to you in the course of our respective activities of daily living.
 
I, again, remain unequivocally committed to my position of deference and compliance towards any rules/demands related to my existence, presence, or activities as your tenant.
 
As you refuse to provide any sort of unambiguous guidance or clarification whatsoever regarding your shifting demands affecting my ability to access/perform basic activities of daily living, I will continue to act in good faith with respect to my adherence to all previously-established arrangements and protocols (whether codified or de facto) regarding such activities. To the full extent of my abilities, and to the extent that it is physically possible, I will immediately and unequivocally comply with any alterations, additions, or excisions you choose to impose regarding the nature of our physical coexistence as landlord and tenant, regardless of your disregard or intent for any harm to my stability that will ensue as a result.
 
If you intend to attempt to manipulate or threaten or gaslight me to illegitimately and dishonestly accuse me of failing to comply with your rights and demands as the homeownelandlord, then I can assure you that such efforts will be ineffective and inadvisable. The extensive history of my genuine, documented, and unwavering commitment to absolute respect of your home, property, and landlord-tenant authority is unassailable, and nothing has or will change about the good faith nature of my efforts to simply live peacefully and work on stabilizing my health and continuing to attempt to develop basic protocols that offer me the opportunity to seek the ways and means required to sustainably exist, survive, and seek meaning and fulfilment as a human being.
 
To try and make it a bit more bite-sized (without warranty as to the efficacy of said efforts), since I know when your ego is threatened you conveniently - and dishonestly - become completely unable to read a couple thousand words:
 

• I have never been more disgusted by the actions of anyone or anything more in my entire fucking existence.

 

• I will continue to be an absolute model tenant, despite the harmful effects of your constant abuse, and I will unequivocally comply with any demands you make with your authority as my landlord. I will explicitly and aggressively defend against any attempts to gaslight me, or attempt to dishonestly accuse me of failing to comply with any such demands.

 

• Feel free at anytime in your life to decide that maybe it might be time to face the fact that - though skillful in your delusion - you are the same scared child you were 40 years ago, and if you ever want to truly and meaningfully experience what it's like to be secure with yourself beneath the false veneer of superficial and ego-protecting interactions you surround yourself with at the exclusion of true and honest existential vulnerability, then you need to seek, engage with, and be honest and vulnerable with, professional clinical care for your intractable narcissism and the lifelong effects and deficits associated with same. In other words, to reductively and rhetorically restate what you disgustingly told me the other day as a means of deflecting from the fact that you couldn't go more than two seconds without contradicting yourself, “get your fucking meds adjusted”.

 

• When faced with any sort of challenge to your control or authority, your lifelong fear of abandonment has caused you to push people away before they have the opportunity to leave you, resulting in premature, self-created, and misdirected sabotage of significant relationships at the first sign of disturbance or genuine vulnerability. I know you're terrible at recognizing or interpreting patterns or facts, but think, for example, about when your efforts to remove me from your life and/or house have been at their most intense:

 

• (a) in 2016(ish) when conflicts about my role in helping with the [redacted address][job of cleaning out my grandpa's apartment after Alzheimer's took hold] triggered feelings of grief and fear in you at the decline of your father's health and the inevitability of his then-upcoming death,

 

• (b) in late 2019 through 2020ish, in the leadup to and aftermath of your father's death, where you threatened or demanded my removal from your house during damn-near every single minor conflict about utterly insignificant household disputes. The vulnerability and grief you felt surrounding his death triggered the core-level unresolved sense of abandonment you carry as a result of the lack of parental affection you received because of, inter alia, the level of care required by your [editor's note: dying of CF as a teenager] sister and resultant lack of parental support available to you as a result,

 

• (c) in 2021ish, surrounding your mother's acute medical events and her subsequent death, where your treatment of me followed effectively the same patterns and underlying causes as the item above (sans explicit threats of eviction, opting instead for the more oblique and covert references that have been your MO until the recent regression to explicit threats within the past few days).

 

• (d) in 2024, surrounding the final decline and subsequent death of [dog], where all of the same behaviours described above returned and steadily escalated, culminating in telling me to get the fuck out of your house because I wouldn't stop moving some boxes for 30 minutes, and then telling me that you were going to call the police to have me removed from your house as a result of your inability to force me to stop making accurate statements that damaged your ego and need for unquestioned interpersonal control in your self-appointed role as the sole ruler of the relational hierarchy you fought so hard to maintain.

 

• You need to actively and vulnerably seek and participate in professional clinical treatment for the lifelong effects of the hollow narcissism that has maladaptively protected you from your deepest childhood injuries and vulnerabilities, at the expense of truly genuine connection with, at the very least, your firstborn and only son.

 

• [note that the contents of this bullet point are neither a threat of suicide, nor an indication of any intent whatsoever to harm myself or others. I am including this disclaimer to preemptively remove your ability to selectively manipulate my words in order to further gaslight me]
  If you want me gone from your house, and life (and possibly my own life, given the extreme existential risk posed by homelessness for a vulnerable person with the significant disabilities I am faced with), then you will have to have me physically removed from your house in cold blood, and until the day you (or I, depending on the order) die you will live with that being the last time you ever saw the son that you took for granted and abused for 32 fucking years while he groveled at your feet begging for even scraps of affection or humanity from the person who constantly love-bombed and discarded him at her convenience to serve her own narcissistic desires worth no regard for the whole entire person she was subjugating to the role of, barely, a pet.
  

 

• Be aware that if you choose to remove me from your life as a pathological and assuredly-ineffective avoidance mechanism to try and preemptively shield yourself from the fear of abandonment that is triggered in you as a result of my overwhelmingly valid and necessary actions to demand that you cease your lifelong efforts to subjugate me in your self-created hierarchical position at the top of our unequal relationship, then you will be doing yourself an irreparable disservice by extinguishing whatever sliver of opportunity might remain for you to get the help you need to allow you to finally see me as a real person and begin making real decisions and changes and efforts to participate in efforts to salvage whatever scraps of hope might remain for us to have a relationship before both/either of us die.

 

• Feel free to ignore and/or conceal the tens of thousands of words of documented history in order to share contextless excerpts of this text within your self-serving echo chambers in your efforts to receive false validation of your delusional victimhood. Or, alternatively, feel free to vulnerably share this in its entirety - along with the full corpus of my messaging regarding the severity of the harms caused by your behaviours - with a competent and knowledgeable mental health professional(s) for the purposes of seeking treatment for your underlying pathologies and working towards genuine growth.

 

• In the unlikely (though incomprehensibly-or-perhaps-delusionally-still-hopeful) event that you are still reading, I will conclude by saying that the possibility for any hope of salvaging our relationship lies firmly and solely within your control.

 

• After over 8 years of significant, relentless, documented, often-vilified, and absolutely unreciprocated efforts to single-handedly to put 100% of the effort into a relationship that you reaped the benefits of while remaining unwavering in your abdication of even the slightest of responsibilities, I have run out of ways, means, ideas, and capacity to continue unsuccessfully trying to do both of our parts.

 

• I am not closing the door to the possibility of reconciliation if/once you have undertaken the extensive individual work you need to do if you are ever going to be able and willing to put the necessary effort into repairing our relationship. But neither am I continuing to continue working outside your closed door hoping that one day I might be able to do enough to influence you to treat me like a full, real, EQUAL, human being.

 
I love you, and goodbye for now. I hope to see you on the other side, but I cannot force you to undertake the journey.
 
- [my name]
 
[/End of Letter]
(any edits are fixing formatting/copy&paste errors)

Four Grand juries made up of randomly chosen citizens determined there is enough evidence to indict Donald Trump, and one criminal trial is now in progress.

You would think he would learn.
But no, continuing his criminality he is blatantly offering his services to the highest bidders. In a recent meeting with oil company executives, he told them, outright, if they gave him enough money, he would undermine all Biden's clear air legislation and continue to see their taxes are lowered.
This man would sell your soul to the devil if he had the opportunity. He is so bereft of decency he admitted he was attracted to Stormy Daniels because she reminds him of his daughter, Ivanka. Remember he once said if Ivanka wasn't his daughter he would...?
Read this -- Italics mine.
Jamelle Bouie
By Jamelle Bouie
Opinion Columnist
Not to spend too much time writing about Donald Trump this week, but I was struck by this report in The Washington Post on the former president’s recent overtures to oil executives. After hearing one executive during an event last month at his Mar-a-Lago club complain about supposedly burdensome environmental regulations promulgated by the Biden administration, Trump made a proposition.
You all are wealthy enough, he said, that you should raise $1 billion to return me to the White House. At the dinner, he vowed to immediately reverse dozens of President Biden’s environmental rules and policies and stop new ones from being enacted, according to people with knowledge of the meeting, who spoke on the condition of anonymity to describe a private conversation. Giving $1 billion would be a “deal,” Trump said, because of the taxation and regulation they would avoid thanks to him, according to the people.
The rest of the story goes on to describe Trump’s plans to gut the federal government’s response to climate change and facilitate more and greater fossil fuel extraction.
Trump told the executives that he would start auctioning off more leases for oil drilling in the Gulf of Mexico, a priority that several of the executives raised. He railed against wind power, as The Post previously reported. And he said he would reverse the restrictions on drilling in the Alaskan Arctic.
This would be a generational setback on climate change, a large and disastrous mortgage on the future so that oil and gas giants could fill their coffers for just a little bit longer before they are overtaken by clean energy.
I’m obviously angered by the blatant disregard for the planet and its inhabitants. But I’m also struck by the in-your-face brazenness of Trump’s reported quid pro quo. This is more than the hint of corruption; it is the overpowering scent of the rotting corpse of corruption. It is influence trading of the sort that would embarrass a Boss Tweed or a Roscoe Conkling, whose “honest graft” came with at least the pretense of pursuing the public good.
Even more striking than Trump’s corruption, however, is the fact that we seem to be completely unfazed by the fact that the former president has apparently offered to sell his prospective administration to fossil fuel interests. That might be because, from the beginning of his term to its end, Trump was a font for corruption while in office. His hotel, located just down the street from the White House, was a clearinghouse for anyone who wanted to buy a favor. His daughter and son-in-law may not have accomplished much as presidential advisers, but they walked away from the administration with upwards of hundreds of millions of dollars in new wealth. And six months after leaving the White House, Jared Kushner secured a $2 billion investment from a fund led by the crown prince of Saudi Arabia.
If Trump’s latest instance of corruption isn’t a campaign-ending scandal, it may be because it is nothing new. Trump is corrupt to his bones and now that appears to be as noteworthy as the weather...
https://www.nytimes.com/2024/05/11/opinion/trump-corruption.html

Have you ever had a detailed conversation with your father about his life and experiences? I assume most of our families were not financially stable back then, and our parents really worked hard to make ends meet.
Did you ever ask them how they managed to do it all with all your expenses?
What were the challenges they faced?
Didn't they ever want to buy an expensive item, but they couldn't because school fees/other bills were more important and they never got to buy that thing?
Did they ever experience any kind of discrimination at work or in society?
I had this conversation with my father sometime ago. We were just sitting on the terrace, and it naturally started. To be honest, I was in tears until the conversation ended. Imagine, a 22-year-old boy/man, whatever you want to say, lost his father, and even after having three brothers, he had to give half of his salary for home expenditure as none of the other three were contributing. Daily up and down in the local train and the marriage responsibility of a younger sister, he literally did all of it himself and decided that he'll only marry once he has his own house. We can't leave out father, whatever situation comes, right?
PS: This post is not to ignore the efforts of mothers but to appreciate the sacrifices of a father. And yeah, ask his desire for a luxury item and buy it for him! If you didn't like this advice, it doesn't matter, but please have a conversation regarding this at least once.
A message to Mods: I request you to add a flair with father-son conversation or something for respect? Let's appreciate him.

Introduction

Christian religious education is defined as the process where by Christian learning takes place. It often involves “teaching which enables practicing Christians to adopt and deepen their Christian belief, values and dispositions to experience and act in a Christian way. It depends to a greater extent on how this process is adopted and practiced in different churches.

Different practices in Christian education in local churches

At some degree of certainty that all Christian churches have a similar aim’s and practices. The liturgical aspect is of paramount importance in the Trinitarian belief and practices in that it serves as introduction to what Christianity is all about. This is where the process of Cognitive learning takes places it involves the worship service where hymns are sang, lessons extracted from the books of the bible are read, sermon often punctuated with exhortation, admonishment and instruction in righteous living is delivered and prayers are said. It also involves the celebration of the holy Eucharist which Jesus Christ himself, recognized as the head of the church, initiated based on experience acquired in the worship service, it can be seen as Christian religious education is a confessional churchly activity of evangelism, instruction and nurture.
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I assure that “Youth are the most critical of all critics when it comes to religion”. Today, common inhabitants do pray and accept the holiness in church for Christ which they are aware that Christ constitutes the sacred bread and wine, but do not entirely act upon worshipping and fail to confront the thoughts and feelings to masses which would spread dignity of godliness among selves. The moral lies in the fact that this creates lackness to reach spiritual beliefs through worship and liturgy resulting in declination the faith which affects the divine nature approaching positivity.
Christian education is a vital important part in youth development. For Christian education to be explored, generation of today should be brought into contact through various practices. In the early centuries, reformers emphasized and trusted true faith and doctrines, to change and reform behaviour as the only solution for salvation in Christian education. Christian school movements prove a challenge as a messenger to convey god’s given mission and honour god.

Traditional approach

This approach was practiced since many decades and is still continued to be practiced which helps in binding and governing the ethics and morality within the religion and belief. Since beginning described, in leaving our homeland to teach the gospels throughout the world through scriptures, god conveyed his message – by sending his son Jesus for us, the Holy Spirit, the Holy Church, and Baptism for building unity.
Christianity consists of three things – Religious faith, way of life and community of mankind towards salvation are most important. The most vital of all belief preached is that there is only one god. The term Christian does not imply on the fact that a Christian should grow up in a Christian community, but precisely accepts Christian faith and belief, follows and leads the path of life on which Jesus walked on and made mankind accept Christian community through involvement and participation physically and mentally, as a result, traditional approach is how the local churches and preachers go about conducting their services. The apostle’s creed was apparently developed to summarize the Christian doctrine for man who baptised himself.

Theological and Biblical approach

This approach is regarded as an abstract discipline which teaches what bible is written. It is the study of god expressing god’s thought. The movement of bible indicates the doctrines to the kerygma to didache, to theological ethics, to revealed truth, to the way of living in Christian community.
God’s salvation to the world, worshipping the holy spirit, baptizing people in the name of god, preaching gospels as the word of god, share Christ’s own body and blood as bread and wine in holy communion, repenting and confessing god’s forgiveness etc are the concepts of theological and biblical foundation to Christian education. Even though mankind is aware but fail to involve due to the increasing evil and greed.
The service is organized to accept the call of god and to love him and others and which aims to gather people to worship him in return allowing him to take control over the world and through his presence spread peace, righteousness, justice, joy and helps in the growth of the life in an individual through increased faith.

Activities organized and performed in different local churches through to these practices

Some churches develop the initiative of the worshippers by confessing their faith in the words of the apostle creed. Each activity is correlated and composes a range of varied elements. Their current activities reflect the lives of an individual and drive them for a purpose through various numbers of activities to attain a better quality of life.
Due to activities, all age group gain variety of skills through many spiritual centred activities. Church acts as an interpreter between god and the worshippers to support in training the composition of these activities which are far more complex to solve a disturbed youth. They have to thereby standardize their curriculum and activities in regards to implement it. Different denominations organize activities to resolve the aim therefore to meet the need of the youth. Curriculum should be more focused than just on providing knowledge.
Activities are necessarily planned to build youth commitment. I believe it is necessary to reach them, i.e. train them to be strong future leaders. They should be kept one step ahead, for their life is very challenging. I believe that the best way to outreach youths mind is to be a youth like them to understand their psychology as it differs from every individual. The same activities do get affected as the youth is choosy and subtle.

Changing activities for tomorrow

Here the question is voiced that, what substantial change can be brought apart from the current activities to eradicate the above upcoming and dynamic problems in nature with respect to behavioural management or of what medication of healing would work out.
I would comment, the activities in the practices should be expanded and conduct likewise programmes workshops on educating purity before marriage, sex, child abuse, exploitation, rape, adultery, adolescence sex, teenage mothers, drugs addiction, aids, and divorce. Workshops, seminars for sex, abuse, peer mentoring, identifying preventive measures instead of curative measures targeting the social, political and the economical factors would be effective for incorporating the overall issues to bring the insight of the good and evil sides of every consequence, discussion on essential real life skills. Our goal is to create “world changers”, inviting the sacrifiers of evil and giving and sharing healthy priorities to save ourselves and the world, before it becomes a terrible fate and a debt for our own selves.
As the world is in unsafe fists of crime, terrorism, corruption, violence, youth have been diverted to a fast-paced and expects instant opportunities. Perhaps, the approaches of these local activities tend to be helpful and may bring positive results but I still feel that there is something missing, to monitor the youth from within. In an article – Practical: The Role of the Full-Time Youth Pastor in the Local Church, by Graeme Codrington, Denomination: Baptist (All), submitted on, May 18, 1997, states that, “In a world that is so busy, and demands so much of all of its inhabitants, young people need a secure environment, where they can experiment and decide who they want to be. They need significant people to be there to help them through this process. They need role models to follow”.
Above statement eventually satisfies the fact that these folks are craving for friendly support socially and for stimulation. Overall factors which conglomerate are peers, parents, teachers, church members and Christian community. All factors rely on one common feature which constitutes leadership. Ironically, most youth do understand the surrounding factors but the factors themselves become tough unknowingly that they can’t quite control the situation which then becomes too late to recover. The task is questioned commonly as what kind of leader a person should be to prove creditability and capability to influence the youth to pursue the direction towards god? In an article again stated by, Graeme Codrington, Denomination: Baptist (All), – Practical: The Role of the Full-Time Youth Pastor in the Local Church, submitted on, May 18, 1997, “Young people are not just “little adults” (cf. Elkind 1984:18). They are complex individuals who are battling to deal with the awesome transformation of their bodies, minds, and emotions. They are in a time of transition and growth, developing from the birthed bundle of potential to a fully integrated, functional member of society. The church is in a unique position to assist in this process”. Church as a role model fosters spiritual growth in every youth making them responsible to participate in Christian faith; she is a sign for an entrance of the god’s kingdom to the world of salvation, repentance, justice and peace to bring equality. She struggles hard and performs her duties wholly and solemnly reminds parents to structure their offspring’s life in Christian formation.
Church members acting as supporters, preach to establish and to promote a platform and share to encourage several types of civic, cultural, religious educational associations. In an article by Arthur Paul Boer – What must a Pastor know? Reflection on Congregational studies defines on writer James Hopewell’s statement saying beyond the embarrassment. “He has also observed that churches are sometimes chagrined by the change of hypocrisy and lament that they cannot measure upto ideals of Christian community”. Writer James Hopewell referred by Arthur Paul Boer notes that Christian leaders are incharge and build a church thereby rise in hypocrites. I observe practically that, though the world is changing, church strategy is also changing in complementing the growth. It still targets the set mission. Even though, somewhere in the corner hypocrites do exist but church leaders aim to find out what is the outcome in the people from the traditional, theological and biblical practices.
Perhaps according my research, I suggest they experiment bringing out good approaches to youth’s growth. Instead of the current activities followed in churches I would want to suggest the approach can be focused to bring in the outcome irrespective to exploration and innovation of ideas and thoughts for internal and external behaviour of an individual related to the surroundings around him, deepening of commitments to the teaching, provide opportunities to analyse socially and theologically and viewing his life in a theological manner. To build a framework of an activity consist of – to have an experience “like us”, to sense new boundaries by exploring new links to every Christian among themselves and to god across social and cultural boundaries.
In addition, exploration and inventive programmes can be executed to judge youth’s spirituality. Daily opportunities resulting in disorientation gets support through mission of god. Integration conceptual activities also can help in building and to capture ‘a born leader’. Church leader serves them as task leaders in the corrosion and freeing the task of a disconnected mind by planning tactics and dividing the burden of other’s through consultation. As the purpose is commitment, to serve the lost, skill based leadership formation training programmes can be organized to develop an effective leader so as to sustain the capability and capacity of the leader to solve the complaints lies in the dimensions of the ability. Workshops on intersections to shape boundaries of an individual and communities through theological and biblical language, symbols, and rituals to attain certain centered objectives.
As growth of globalization is tremendous, these leaders come across and face new opportunities and challenges. I believe they help in building an integral performance in conducting entrepreneurial business-based activities, describing the activities because youth’s mind is business-oriented, therefore the activities are to be structured keeping business in mind involving biblical and theological approaches with the existing resources for a business oriented youth. They tend to produce facilitate management sources to sustain and develop faith and love. When the youth develops a church from within, he will be able to observe and analyse the holistic environment.
The activities require presence of not only church members but also worshippers for youth development in successful implementation of these practices. Some worshippers form in small groups, some large varied to race culture. Arthur Paul Boer also examines simultaneously that when a group of pastors were having service of congregation, one among them exclaimed in deep breath “It showed me I’m not alone”. So often in our churches we berate ourselves for problems we face: not enough men, too few youth, preponderance of a certain race or culture. He is clear with the fact that a single person fails, unity increases strength. We ourselves give birth to a problem and then strive hard to face it because as there are few leaders left to catch a grip to support a large community. Due to less number of youth, less support is achieved to sustain the laws and policies of the church and unable to accomplish god’s mission. It is not only one who contributes but many. Above mentioned statement “It showed me I’m not alone” expresses that each race and culture form their own group; build small churches for their own community within their own boundaries, where god expects togetherness, wholeness. It requires lot of efforts to help small churches grow whereas large church with mass contribution grows as their already exist efforts in large numbers which take over the chained actions for development. Whether single church group or many, big or small, the development is important.
On this contradiction, I would suggest that this also includes that in small group the development is paid more attention and given a close eye, problems are spotted quickly and easily to meet the challenges. No matter how large or small challenges occur, the way we approach it is unique and comprehensive as this brings out effects of development in the youth. Whereas in large it becomes difficult to assist as there are more than one individuals. Due to small groups according to races and culture, differentiation exists. But the important criterion is group commitment and work effort in all sets of practice for congregations in any race or culture for a healthy youth so that to accomplish god’s mission. As a result both objectives are co-related to each other.
To understand the nature of Christian youth it is a very distinguished and a unique phenomenon. Due to the increasing issues of ‘peer pressure’, this has led to the obstruction in the development of youth. There are negative as well as positive aspects of it. Negative aspects influence a weaker mind. It is the most consistent findings revealed in observation. Due to the inquisitive innocence, an innocent becomes a prey of the negative aspect, thereby exploited and develops an evil companionship where he adopts negative qualities and habits. But there is positive aspects as in there are some groups who work towards peer relationship. Here innocent gets an opportunity to identify his fear, weakness and have control over his own power. The peer mentors play the part in organizing programmes to understand the behaviour. They interact with the teens and open lines of communication, build up action plans to change the behaviour by using the discipline skills wherever necessary. As church members play an integrate role, it is a challenge for them to develop the youth and make Christian education reachable to them.
Teachers are responsible preachers. Youth growth depends on a teacher infact they are the true facilitators of our learning, are Baptist figures and true authors of an individual’s life book. They also act as the resource developer and planner setting the curriculum for the healthy growth of an individual, depending how the curriculum is designed with the kind and level of leadership skills to recognize the youth psychology. Parents play a significant role in Christian education. They are the promising leaders which shape up Christianity, infact are the real teachers of Christian education. Parents act as a moral standard and support, therefore can synchronize to their growing youth to be aware from their early hood to gain knowledge in Christian faith and this is done when they themselves too experience a fullness of church.
Misunderstandings and miscommunication between parents and their children are one of the issues which follow breakings in the development of the youth. Due to parent’s own principles, for respect and love of family values often creates harmness to the children’s growth which tempts them to behave against them. Thus youth becomes a totalitarian of his own life by going against the values and ethics and unknowingly gets stucked in the torturous situations. Most Christian youth, fail to act upon the 10 commandments of bible.
I must say, I myself as a youth in my real life experience have observed that the originality of the commandments has changed excessively and replaced with the following:
Thou must worship money
Thou must “lyrically” murder
Thou must have evil possession
Thou must have sex
Thou must enjoy drug addiction
Thou must prosper, worship own self
Thou must not feel guilty
Thou must have no respect for ancestral values
Thou must not serve, sacrifice
Thou must differentiate
Due to the above, youth fails to feel guilty in which guiltness is a part of our conscience creating a false belief system as an obstacle in his maturity and creating structure of his own. Under such circumstances he avoids promoting prayer, sacrifice, grace, redemption, worship and meditation, atonement. Considering money and sex are the only two things reliable to satisfy the needs, creating a limitation and a boundary for establishing personal spiritual growth and development.
In general terms, when the efforts of religious and educational institutions, society lack to perform the planned task for Christian education, a positive approach is expected and constructed to gain knowledge and teaching through parents and teachers. Youth must be aware of guiltiness which is a gift from god to help us in being and doing well.
Still the question is raised in a Journal: Volume 5 Number 4, October 2003 by Author Charlene Tan, “Can Christian teachers and parents teach Christian beliefs without indoctrinating their students and children?”
Yes, they can teach Christian beliefs without indoctrinating their students and children they need to be careful when a child is to be handled as their minds are immature. At times it is difficult to understand them because their way of thinking is varied. Firstly before going to the next process, the first process has to be resolved. As teachers and parents are the role models for the development. In order to develop and understand these three role models should be systematically developed first. Only by abiding this rule, they can achieve the development in child. But the point lies beneath that how teachers and parents can prove themselves as an effective source of development by keeping in mind the relative factor of Child’s mind compatibility and psychology? As there are variations in psychological behavior teachers and parents should be mentally prepared, be changeable and adjustment oriented accordingly.
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The political and current affair of the nation is affected by corruption and evilness rationally which gave birth to vivid factors like jealousy, modesty and so on, making human’s built a tendency to mislead the positive factors. The situations have made the teachers adapt those inequalities within them, affecting the surrounding factors. Parents have too due to their increasing self priority created barriers of understanding among their families.
Many people are often drawn towards the attention of the church because of their felt needs and not for spiritual needs.
For instance, it does occur that why the youth is tuned out of his own way? Even in their interaction with their own members it tends to happen with them that they fail to hear a word said to them – stating “I didn’t hear a word you said?”, even though it is obvious that they have said something relating to us. This proves a kind of negligence in contacting the positive mechanism which grows in the back of our minds. Such system blocks all the wanted and useful messages allowing us to hear and see only what our mind tells us to hear and believe. As this tendency is increased in the youth generation, it is creating gaps between a believer and faith of god.
The question is – How? How can we overcome this problem? Youth have themselves developed a capacity in mind to hear only what pleasures them without taking a decision that whether it is false or truth. My query is – How we can bring these groups of youth closer to god? Unconsciously resulting in unexpected calamities and unknowingly they are unable to repent it wisely. Due to this increasing factor, youth can’t get a grip of effective communication and develop themselves internally. Here the parents then enter the scene to play their role.

The main question lies whether the local churches fulfill and meet to mature disciples in Christian education?

As stated above, ‘youth’ are the most critical of all critics when it comes to religion. In this modern era, youth is distracted to church because they are building castles in air due to the unmaterialistic desire. Youth today have focused their vision to crave success and prosperity for their rising life graph; they exploit their own ones due to greed and selfishness. During the primary phase of struggle and hard work, youth craves to achieve prosperity, at the same time, do thank god and accept his involvement for success, but hand in hand, lack to follow the bibles ethics which says to respect others in and with unity. Due to the competition and growth politically, more often youth seem to push the fellow mates and strive to takeover their place. They themselves are unaware that they give birth to exploitation and inequality. And due to inequality, unity is declined, wherein bible does not specify inequality. In a book source, Pastor – “Rick Warren’ – illustrates in his book – The Purpose-Driven Church -“The issue is church health, not church growth!” declares warren. “if your church is healthy, growth will occur naturally. Healthy consistent growth is the result of balancing the five biblical purposes of the church.”
In addition to this he also declares that “If u concentrate on building people, God will build the church”.
I agree at a certain point with the above statement. I herewith would want to magnify on “How would one build a healthy youth for a healthy church”? In this sense I believe that both are co-related with each other. Again the issue arises in my mind ‘How will the church be healthy if the youth is unhealthy?’ The issue can’t be only concentrated on church. For a church to survive, the basic foundation is the youth and for the youth to be saved and attracted the church has to be healthy. In my knowledge it is a ‘Vicious Circle’.
Local churches upto some extent do specifically fulfill the discipleship through the practices and play a great emphasis in fulfilling and conveying the message of god to us, but still lack to read the minds and bring the youth closer to her, for which she has to upgrade her atmospheric appearance with new packages to reach the youth in a new taste due to the competitive modernism which is hovering on the youth.
The latter part can play the best part coz when first falls in place, everything else falls in place, from the beginning to the end, from all angles in all walks of life. Towards a healthy faith, healthy church can turn and seed a growth of spirituality through which mankind will grow spiritually from within thereby causing church growth.
Author Perry G. Down states in his book – “Teaching for spiritual growth” that ‘how can we best enable Christians to grow towards maturity?’ For this question he suggests three key concepts- ministry, believer, and purpose. But my understanding says that these concepts are incomplete somewhere to create a bond in reaching the results because today’s youth is attracted towards the unrealistic worldly matters, but has resulted in declination towards the god’s spiritual growth. The major role connecting these three concepts is commitment and effort. As the church ministry is the foundation pillar, the main aim is how much measure of commitment is valued and given to achieve the target successfully. Mankind is able to commit only when he chooses the right direction in fear and is able but this is unfortunate as the alien world tend to let us unidentify the type of strategies of growth for maturity. By identifying the type of strategies of growth, we can understand the level of growth required towards maturity at which we can be spiritual. Another reason for in growth is fear. As the youth fears to face unexpected problems, the efforts are less and require the hierarchy’s support.
Author Gary C. Newton stated in his book – “Going towards spiritual maturity” quotes the principle that “God is ultimately responsible for all spiritual growth”. The question arises at this point that if god is responsible for everything, what will be the purpose and role of human? I comment that while god supplies the resources like bible, church, Holy Spirit, baptism, it is also our responsibility to supply effort and commitment to utilize those resources and give results to god. In bible, Paul highlights this principle of his personal lifestyle and in his teachings comparing with the example of a soldier or athlete to illustrate the amount of sincerity and efforts. (1 Corinthians 9:24-27), Paul states that “In a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize”. I herewith conclude in a Christian race all runners (ministry, believers, purpose) will fail to get a prize if there is no effort that is commitment from everyone.
Along with the concept of ministry, believer, purpose; effort is also the key concept and it has to be achieved from the youth as well. A healthy youth will gain efforts only when the growth will favour them from within, when the forces of the ministry believers and youth will collide with each other to form a healthy growth.
This will create a mutual relationship between god’s provisional resources and our active involvement in process which is more clearly in Philippians 2:12-13: “Continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is god who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose”. This principle is intricate but the application is clear.
If one is to grow towards maturity in Christ then one must cultivate and demonstrate the efforts with passion, Philippians 2:17-18: ” But even if I am being poured out like a drink offering on the sacrifice and service coming from your faith, I am glad and rejoice with all of you. So you be glad and rejoice with me”.
Therefore the conclusion lies in the above concept, both; effort of the youth along with the work of ministry, believers proves in the healthiness of the church. In the book “Youth At Risk” by Peter Christian Olsen, 2003, he highlights four basic needs which he has clearly created an awareness of the effects that affects the development of youth:
Acceptance – belonging
New beginnings and second chances – forgiveness
Significance – generosity
Freedom – independence
I agree with his confirmation that he examines in deriving the above developmental needs from the provision of the Almighty’s resources as the absence of these needs do intentionally contribute in how they shape the personality, maturity, responsibility and stability of emotions. He emphasizes Christian community in respond to the needs determining that, the resources will be polishing youth through support during the fear and avoid them from destruction. At times the concepts will be foreign, indigestive for youth because unable to realize its importance. Rather the community need not re-interpret or change the language but simplify their thoughts and improve their visionary and understanding by change in structure through a friendly communication by becoming an effective leader to bridge the gap between the church and the youth. Therefore forces and efforts are needed for decision making which is an effective key in respond to ministry believer and purpose for a possibility of a healthy youth to build a healthy church, which will make the church flourish.

Supporting surveys

According to a survey, some findings proved that church fails to answer every question of the youth.

Q.1 In what way and sense is Christian religion, faith and church viewed by today’s modern youth?

Youth of today’s modern era is firm on the point stating that inspiration is lacked in religion; they feel that the world is divided through religion and is the major factor which is affecting the growth. A 17-year-old Jude from Kent says confidently that “He does not agree with the church who talks on subject morality” and is “Overfilled with traditionality”.
Youth pick their ideas which suit their taste through various religious beliefs. There are few in bunch who strongly believe, there exist only single religion which has controlled the truth. Young generation refer to perform all activities as per their own desire which in return less importance to the religious belief are being given, which gives birth to the side effects of the conduct.

Q.2 Why do young crowd feel that Christianity is not a ‘happening’ cultural activity?

An 18-year-old Marcus said that he left church when he was 15 because the teachings did not amuse him and it did not interest him of anything as a youth.
The major quest, a struggle for a religion is to impose an exertion of force of involvement in terms of attraction. I usually attend church service wherein I find young ones missing the services. I kept questioning myself that, where the young crowd has disappeared? Surprisingly the young ones have taken charge for the attendance of the church. In this consequence the church should give priority to change its curriculum and its way of presenting the services with new attractive packages for enhancement.

Q.3 Are the young preachers practicing different approaches in Christianity declining. What are your suggestions?

As the attendance of the youth in church has declined, but on the other hand people practicing approaches are increasing in numbers. The following is revealed through one of the youths that more the deepening are the studies of the bible, more a person becomes a hypocrite of the Christian leadership and unintentionally accepts and performs the lifestyle of the clergy right or wrong at times unknowingly. In such case, the practices are affected and become different from those which are to be precise. Seen are still some true Christian youngsters who are different in their attitude and conduct, but in spite of such difference, they are not involved into the immorality and violence activities with other youths. They present themselves as they are from a different unknown religion, but practice the religion and it

Four Grand juries made up of randomly chosen citizens determined there is enough evidence to indict Donald Trump, and one criminal trial is now in progress.

You would think he would learn.
But no, continuing his criminality he is blatantly offering his services to the highest bidders. In a recent meeting with oil company executives, he told them, outright, if they gave him enough money, he would undermine all Biden's clear air legislation and continue to see their taxes are lowered.
This man would sell your soul to the devil if he had the opportunity. He is so bereft of decency he admitted he was attracted to Stormy Daniels because she reminds him of his daughter, Ivanka. Remember he once said if Ivanka wasn't his daughter he would...?
Read this -- Italics mine.
Jamelle Bouie
By Jamelle Bouie
Opinion Columnist
Not to spend too much time writing about Donald Trump this week, but I was struck by this report in The Washington Post on the former president’s recent overtures to oil executives. After hearing one executive during an event last month at his Mar-a-Lago club complain about supposedly burdensome environmental regulations promulgated by the Biden administration, Trump made a proposition.
You all are wealthy enough, he said, that you should raise $1 billion to return me to the White House. At the dinner, he vowed to immediately reverse dozens of President Biden’s environmental rules and policies and stop new ones from being enacted, according to people with knowledge of the meeting, who spoke on the condition of anonymity to describe a private conversation. Giving $1 billion would be a “deal,” Trump said, because of the taxation and regulation they would avoid thanks to him, according to the people.
The rest of the story goes on to describe Trump’s plans to gut the federal government’s response to climate change and facilitate more and greater fossil fuel extraction.
Trump told the executives that he would start auctioning off more leases for oil drilling in the Gulf of Mexico, a priority that several of the executives raised. He railed against wind power, as The Post previously reported. And he said he would reverse the restrictions on drilling in the Alaskan Arctic.
This would be a generational setback on climate change, a large and disastrous mortgage on the future so that oil and gas giants could fill their coffers for just a little bit longer before they are overtaken by clean energy.
I’m obviously angered by the blatant disregard for the planet and its inhabitants. But I’m also struck by the in-your-face brazenness of Trump’s reported quid pro quo. This is more than the hint of corruption; it is the overpowering scent of the rotting corpse of corruption. It is influence trading of the sort that would embarrass a Boss Tweed or a Roscoe Conkling, whose “honest graft” came with at least the pretense of pursuing the public good.
Even more striking than Trump’s corruption, however, is the fact that we seem to be completely unfazed by the fact that the former president has apparently offered to sell his prospective administration to fossil fuel interests. That might be because, from the beginning of his term to its end, Trump was a font for corruption while in office. His hotel, located just down the street from the White House, was a clearinghouse for anyone who wanted to buy a favor. His daughter and son-in-law may not have accomplished much as presidential advisers, but they walked away from the administration with upwards of hundreds of millions of dollars in new wealth. And six months after leaving the White House, Jared Kushner secured a $2 billion investment from a fund led by the crown prince of Saudi Arabia.
If Trump’s latest instance of corruption isn’t a campaign-ending scandal, it may be because it is nothing new. Trump is corrupt to his bones and now that appears to be as noteworthy as the weather...
https://www.nytimes.com/2024/05/11/opinion/trump-corruption.html

Four Grand juries made up of randomly chosen citizens determined there is enough evidence to indict Donald Trump, and one criminal trial is now in progress.

You would think he would learn.
But no, continuing his criminality he is blatantly offering his services to the highest bidders. In a recent meeting with oil company executives, he told them, outright, if they gave him enough money, he would undermine all Biden's clear air legislation and continue to see their taxes are lowered.
This man would sell your soul to the devil if he had the opportunity. He is so bereft of decency he admitted he was attracted to Stormy Daniels because she reminds him of his daughter, Ivanka. Remember he once said if Ivanka wasn't his daughter he would...?
Read this -- Italics mine.
Jamelle Bouie
By Jamelle Bouie
Opinion Columnist
Not to spend too much time writing about Donald Trump this week, but I was struck by this report in The Washington Post on the former president’s recent overtures to oil executives. After hearing one executive during an event last month at his Mar-a-Lago club complain about supposedly burdensome environmental regulations promulgated by the Biden administration, Trump made a proposition.
You all are wealthy enough, he said, that you should raise $1 billion to return me to the White House. At the dinner, he vowed to immediately reverse dozens of President Biden’s environmental rules and policies and stop new ones from being enacted, according to people with knowledge of the meeting, who spoke on the condition of anonymity to describe a private conversation. Giving $1 billion would be a “deal,” Trump said, because of the taxation and regulation they would avoid thanks to him, according to the people.
The rest of the story goes on to describe Trump’s plans to gut the federal government’s response to climate change and facilitate more and greater fossil fuel extraction.
Trump told the executives that he would start auctioning off more leases for oil drilling in the Gulf of Mexico, a priority that several of the executives raised. He railed against wind power, as The Post previously reported. And he said he would reverse the restrictions on drilling in the Alaskan Arctic.
This would be a generational setback on climate change, a large and disastrous mortgage on the future so that oil and gas giants could fill their coffers for just a little bit longer before they are overtaken by clean energy.
I’m obviously angered by the blatant disregard for the planet and its inhabitants. But I’m also struck by the in-your-face brazenness of Trump’s reported quid pro quo. This is more than the hint of corruption; it is the overpowering scent of the rotting corpse of corruption. It is influence trading of the sort that would embarrass a Boss Tweed or a Roscoe Conkling, whose “honest graft” came with at least the pretense of pursuing the public good.
Even more striking than Trump’s corruption, however, is the fact that we seem to be completely unfazed by the fact that the former president has apparently offered to sell his prospective administration to fossil fuel interests. That might be because, from the beginning of his term to its end, Trump was a font for corruption while in office. His hotel, located just down the street from the White House, was a clearinghouse for anyone who wanted to buy a favor. His daughter and son-in-law may not have accomplished much as presidential advisers, but they walked away from the administration with upwards of hundreds of millions of dollars in new wealth. And six months after leaving the White House, Jared Kushner secured a $2 billion investment from a fund led by the crown prince of Saudi Arabia.
If Trump’s latest instance of corruption isn’t a campaign-ending scandal, it may be because it is nothing new. Trump is corrupt to his bones and now that appears to be as noteworthy as the weather...
https://www.nytimes.com/2024/05/11/opinion/trump-corruption.html

Four Grand juries made up of randomly chosen citizens determined there is enough evidence to indict Donald Trump, and one criminal trial is now in progress.

You would think he would learn.
But no, continuing his criminality he is blatantly offering his services to the highest bidders. In a recent meeting with oil company executives, he told them, outright, if they gave him enough money, he would undermine all Biden's clear air legislation and continue to see their taxes are lowered.
This man would sell your soul to the devil if he had the opportunity. He is so bereft of decency he admitted he was attracted to Stormy Daniels because she reminds him of his daughter, Ivanka. Remember he once said if Ivanka wasn't his daughter he would...?
Read this -- Italics mine.
Jamelle Bouie
By Jamelle Bouie
Opinion Columnist
Not to spend too much time writing about Donald Trump this week, but I was struck by this report in The Washington Post on the former president’s recent overtures to oil executives. After hearing one executive during an event last month at his Mar-a-Lago club complain about supposedly burdensome environmental regulations promulgated by the Biden administration, Trump made a proposition.
You all are wealthy enough, he said, that you should raise $1 billion to return me to the White House. At the dinner, he vowed to immediately reverse dozens of President Biden’s environmental rules and policies and stop new ones from being enacted, according to people with knowledge of the meeting, who spoke on the condition of anonymity to describe a private conversation. Giving $1 billion would be a “deal,” Trump said, because of the taxation and regulation they would avoid thanks to him, according to the people.
The rest of the story goes on to describe Trump’s plans to gut the federal government’s response to climate change and facilitate more and greater fossil fuel extraction.
Trump told the executives that he would start auctioning off more leases for oil drilling in the Gulf of Mexico, a priority that several of the executives raised. He railed against wind power, as The Post previously reported. And he said he would reverse the restrictions on drilling in the Alaskan Arctic.
This would be a generational setback on climate change, a large and disastrous mortgage on the future so that oil and gas giants could fill their coffers for just a little bit longer before they are overtaken by clean energy.
I’m obviously angered by the blatant disregard for the planet and its inhabitants. But I’m also struck by the in-your-face brazenness of Trump’s reported quid pro quo. This is more than the hint of corruption; it is the overpowering scent of the rotting corpse of corruption. It is influence trading of the sort that would embarrass a Boss Tweed or a Roscoe Conkling, whose “honest graft” came with at least the pretense of pursuing the public good.
Even more striking than Trump’s corruption, however, is the fact that we seem to be completely unfazed by the fact that the former president has apparently offered to sell his prospective administration to fossil fuel interests. That might be because, from the beginning of his term to its end, Trump was a font for corruption while in office. His hotel, located just down the street from the White House, was a clearinghouse for anyone who wanted to buy a favor. His daughter and son-in-law may not have accomplished much as presidential advisers, but they walked away from the administration with upwards of hundreds of millions of dollars in new wealth. And six months after leaving the White House, Jared Kushner secured a $2 billion investment from a fund led by the crown prince of Saudi Arabia.
If Trump’s latest instance of corruption isn’t a campaign-ending scandal, it may be because it is nothing new. Trump is corrupt to his bones and now that appears to be as noteworthy as the weather...
https://www.nytimes.com/2024/05/11/opinion/trump-corruption.html